#I just want to be able to get around without increasing my pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calummss · 6 months

Text

Orange, White and Dark Rosé | Rebekah Mikaelson

masterlist

summary: with cancer slowly eating you alive, you come back to school to see a beautiful girl that has started to make you question everything you thought you knew

pairing: fem! reader x rebekah mikaelson

words: 3.9k

a/n: for my girl kissers!! <33 also i believe this is my longest fic yet… NOT PROOFREAD

You’ve had the worst few months of your life. What started out as a simple cough became more painful throughout the weeks. Each cough as though your lungs were torn from your chest, no air to keep you breathing. Night sweats became drowning; difficulty swallowing became not eating at all.

‘You have pleural mesothelioma, Miss Blanchard.’ The words the doctor uttered still so freshly imprinted on your mind. He continued moving his lips but nothing but inaudible muffles penetrated your ears as the sound of your own heartbeat filled your empty void.

Several nights after your diagnosis you woke up. The air drained from your lungs as fluid started to build up between your lungs and chest wall. The sensation of drowning without water in sight. It was a nightmare. Your body turning on you, ready to take you away despite the care you took to look after it.

Following those events you were pulled out of school, your parents worried sick as their daughter was at risk for involuntary death any minute of any day. The feeling of loneliness only increasing as you spent most days alone in your room; on the chair at your therapist's office; or the dining table chair, eyes piercing through you as you tried to make conversation about anything else but your cancer.

‘Do you need help cutting the chicken?’, ‘Need more water?’, ‘Leave the dishes, sweetheart. Your dad and I’ll get to them.’

Your cancer not only took your life but your maturity, letting people treat you like a damsel in distress, needing help with everything when you wish you could just forget everything bad for one day and live as normally as you could, one day at a time.

‘I’m going back to school,’ you said, placing your cutlery down on the dinner mat, staring onto your plate as you could hear the chewing of rubbery green beans stop.

Your mother grabbed her glass of wine, clearing her throat and washing it down all at once. Your father stared at your mother as she tried to find words that reflected her wish to protect you and to keep you as comfortable as possible.

‘I’m sorry, darling, you said you wanted to go back to school?’

‘Yes.’

‘Can I ask what brought this sudden request.’ She neatly folded her ageing hands underneath her chin, her eyes resting on you as your father’s eyes jumped from frame to frame, unsure what to say.

‘I just want to live as normal as possible,’ you let out a sigh, ‘I miss my friends, I miss having to do stuff, I miss…I can’t believe I’m saying this,’ you chuckled, feeling heat rush through your face. ‘I miss homework. School assignments, presentations, stuff I hated before but made me normal. A normal girl living a boring life. I’m missing my chance at a full life just because of this cancer I’m sure will rob me even further as time passes. I need to be able to feel like I belong somewhere despite…all this.’

Their eyes stayed focused on you, soft eyebrows trying to interpret what you needed the most in a time where everything slowly started to deteriorate.

‘Have you thought about what your school life would be like now, Y/n?’ Your father engulfed your hands, his thumb rubbing circles as he often did. ‘You would need to carry around an oxygen tank in case of an emergency. You complained every day that the school day was hard and now it will be three times that of before. I understand where you're coming from but I need you to know what decision you are making…Your mother and I only want what’s best for you and if that is going back to school so be it. But we will have to make sure you are okay at all times.’

‘I really do want to go back…’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘Fine,’ your mother took your other free hand. ‘You can go back to school. But promise us that when things get hard that you will tell us and may have to take a step back from school again.’

‘I promise.’ You smiled at them, squeezing their hands tight. ‘I will accept my limits when they come.’

The very next week you stood back on the familiar ground of Mystic Falls High; home to the timberwolves. The bell you dreaded every morning , rather wanting to exchange gossip with Elena and Caroline. However that particular morning you have never felt more excited to walk through the halls. Hallways you haven’t seen in a few months. Faces of fellow students.

Walking through the door you noticed a heap of pitiful glances, welcome backs, get well soons and prayers. It wasn't unusual for everyone to know what had happened to you, Mystic Falls was a small town after all. Their words of condolences were sweet. You cherished them. But when you live on limited time, burned out hope and terminal cancer with a survival rate of 9.6%, it was hard to pretend like you would get better when their words could easily be uttered to a person that simply caught the common cold. Nothing could fix you. The only thing you had were fifteen months to make sure to drain every last drop of experiences life has to offer. No prayers, no words of the world could help—only medicine could. And even that was a shot in the dark. Caroline had offered her vampire blood to you on more than one occasion, but you were convinced that it wouldn’t help so you declined it over and over again, continuing to deny the chance at a normal life that you craved more than anything.

Heading towards your locker, you placed your emergency oxygen tank inside, the dust of month’s absences piling on old books you had left behind the day the cough became too unbearable.

Closing the door you made your way to your first class of the day; history taught by Mr. Saltzman. Bracing yourself to walk into a room full of eyes, you noticed that the classroom was empty for the exception of a girl. She was beautiful. The type of beautiful you would see beyond your day, wondering whether or not you would see them again. She had light hair, almost as white as her skin that bore freckles across the apples of her cheeks and nose that stuck between pages of a book that let her long black lashes show. Full lips pursed, knitted eyebrows framing her face.

‘I’m sorry,’ you felt rude for interrupting her obvious devotion to studying. ‘Is this history with Mr. Saltzman?’

‘Yes.’ She answered boorishly, eyes stuck on the pages, rushing her words as she paid no attention to you.

‘Where is everyone?’ God you were embarrassed to disrupt her again.

‘How would I know?’ She sighed, finally looking up. Her blue eyes locking with yours as you appreciated her beauty, wishing you looked like her. To be so flawless.

‘Oh, I’m sorry—I just—ehm, it’s kind of my first day back in a few months and the lack of students is making me doubt if I am in fact in the right room…’

‘No, this is the correct room,’ she stopped looking at her notes, her crystal eyes glued to your face as you continued to study her details. ‘So you went here before then?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why did you stop?’

‘Got sick.’ You pressed your lips together, sliding your hands into the back pockets of your jeans that clung to your thighs.

‘What sickness?’ She asked with a genuine look of interest, almost as if it were her first time encountering a sick person. Lucky her.

‘Cancer.’

‘Ohh,’ she puckered up her lips, squinting at you, her words confusingly sounding concerned and uninterested. ‘That sucks.’

‘Yeah,’ you breathed, the continuous standing started to make itself known as your shoulders started to feel lighter. ‘It sucks.’

‘Well you are free to sit next to me. I don’t tend to be liked by most.’ Her pearly teeth peaked between dark roseish lips. ‘I’m Rebekah by the way,’

‘Y/n,’ you smiled back. ‘Nice to meet you.’

Walking over to sit down next to her, the sudden sound of familiar voices washed over you as Caroline and Elena came through the entrance, their eyes widening as soon as they saw you standing back in the classroom that had felt your absence the past months.

‘Y/n, oh my god!’ They almost shouted in union as they sprinted to hug you tight, their arms merging into your back as you reunited with your friends. No hospital visits or phone calls, just friends seeing each other in school like you always have.

‘Come sit with us!’ Caroline dragged you towards the front of the room, your eyes turning back to Rebekah who had observed your encounter with the girls, her eyes smiling back at you, her spark diminished as you parted from her.

In your next class you saw Rebekah again.

Again sitting alone at the dissecting table and when you made up your mind to sit next to her, Rebekah noticing your upcoming footsteps, Elena and Caroline barged through the door like they had before. Pulling you towards the opposite end of where she was sitting, her seat staying vacant as her eyes continued to find you throughout the lesson.

‘Rebekah, wait!’ You called after her, the last sound of the bell signalling the end of the school day.

Rebekah turned around, her blonde hair framing her face. Strands of hair blowing across her face, caught amongst her lashes. The sun reflecting on her skin.

‘About your offer to sit next to you,’ you lifted your arm to block the blazing sun. ‘I would like it if you held that spot for me tomorrow. If you still want me to sit next to you…’

‘Sure, it’s not like it’ll be occupied anytime soon. It’s yours to take.’

‘Okay then…’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/n, okay?’

‘Sure, yeah totally,’ you cleared your throat as you mentally prepared for the criticism you were about to hold above your head. ‘See you tomorrow.’

Rebekah gave you a last smile, ‘Bye.’

‘Bye,’ you whispered, her feet already taking off towards the other side of your way home, leaving behind a manipulative smell of vanilla and macadamia nut, that you swore was the nicest fragrance you had smelled in a long time.

The next day you came walking back through the class again, finding Rebekah by herself at her assigned spot, her hand swiftly moving across her page.

‘Good morning, Y/n.’ She greeted, her eyes never leaving her paper.

‘How could you tell it was me?’

‘I smelled your strawberry perfume before you even entered the room,’ she finally lifted her head to reveal her face.

‘Do you like it?’ What is wrong with me?????

‘I do.’ Nevermind.

‘You don’t mind if I keep my word, right?’ You eyes up the chair next to her, waiting for her response, silently hoping that no one would barge in to seat you away from her.

‘Feel free to use all the space you need.’

You chuckled, letting your feet carry you to the table next to her, her familiar scent back in your memory as you took out your school supplies, feeling her gaze on you.

‘So,’ you turned your head to her body already turned towards you. ‘Are you new here? I haven’t seen you before?’

‘Yeah, I am. I moved here a couple of weeks ago. My brother has been here for a month now and I wanted a change of scenery.’ She let out a breath. ‘There’s only so much of New Orleans you can take.’

‘New Orleans? That is very different from Mystic Falls…’ You raised your eyebrows with a grin, your armpit resting over the back of the chair, legs crossed, turned towards her. ‘Do you like it here?’

‘So far I do…’ Rebekah glanced at you, a shimmer of light swimming amongst her pale eyes.

‘That’s good…’ You stared back because it was the only thing you could do.

Her hand reached for your hair, taking a strand of it and twirling it around her index finger, gently laying the curls heated with her body temperature on your shoulder, ‘You have really nice hair.’

‘Thank you,’ you felt a rush of heat make its way to your cheeks, your stomach starting to feel queasy as you let her words repeat in your mind. ‘I love your— well actually everything about you is really beautiful.’

‘You are too kind.’

‘I wouldn’t lie.’

‘I know you’re not.’

‘Good…’ Your eyes couldn’t part from her, her face burned into the back of your mind, still wanting to stare at her as long as you could. Her smile bringing warmth to you.

‘I wouldn’t lie either,’ she repeated.

‘Good.’

The teacher came in, disturbing the awful long eye contact, both cleared by loud coughs, Rebekah and your eyes settling to the front of the class; no more looks being exchanged for the rest of the lesson, though you fought the urge to catch a glimpse.

‘Do you have anything planned today?’ Rebekah and you walk out of the building, the school day coming to an end as grey clouds started to gather above you.

‘No, I don’t think so.’

‘Would you like to come over to mine?’ She turned her face to you. ‘We could watch a movie, bake something, I don’t know. Do something typical for a teenage girl.’

Typical for a teenage girl. Normalcy. She treated you normally. Never once mentioning the fact you were sick or if you were okay with it. She treated you like an equal.

‘I would love to.’ You replied, feeling glad that a person could forget about everything shitty in your life and talk to you like you were just like them.

Rebekah drove you to her home, finding out that she had a rather large heep in possession. The kind of car you’d take to the beach on an early summer morning; running towards the cold water as sand stuck to your naked skin. Rebekah was a good driver, unlike your father that made you glad that you had health insurance…

Seemingly arriving at her house, a big mansion greeted you. Surrounded by trees, a long driveway leading to the mansion’s entrance.

‘This is your house?’ You asked, eyes glued onto the building, imagini how many room it must’ve had. How many square feet it covered.

‘Yes.’

‘It’s so nice.’

‘I know,’ she chuckled, unbuckling her seatbelt. ‘I have to admit that my brother does have great taste when it comes to architecture. Suppose it’s his only good trait.

‘You have a brother?’

‘Too many…’

You let out a laugh, you too unbuckled your seatbelt to step out of her car, feeling so small as you walked towards the door. The interior of the house was just as beautiful. Simple yet classy Rebekah threw her keys onto one of the dressers that stood by the door and told you to follow her, your head turning left and right, mesmerised by everything you took in.

‘Rebekah.’ You suddenly heard a male voice call from behind you. He had a nice accent just like she did.

‘What, Nik?’ She didn’t sound too happy to see him.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce me?’

‘This is Y/n from school. Don’t eat her, she has cancer.’

You listened to her with a quizzical look on your face, looking at her as she mirrored your expression.

‘What?’ She asked.

‘Vampire?’ You asked.

‘Yeah.’

‘Hmm,’

‘You don’t seem surprised…’

‘I have lived in Mystic Falls all my life,’ you let out a jestful breath. ‘Nothing surprises me anymore.’

‘Well,’ his voice made you turn your back on Rebekah, his tone full of pride and confidence, ‘welcome to my humble abode.’

‘Humble is a great word to describe all of this,’ you grinned, looking at the room once more. ‘But it is really nice. You have good taste.’

‘I know I do. Best get going then,’ he pointed towards Rebekah whose facial expressions couldn’t have made it clearer that she wanted to get away from him.

‘Nice to meet you.’

‘You too.’

You paced towards Rebekah who told you to follow her, different hallways leading towards a really nice kitchen.

She grabbed all the ingredients that you thought was going to make a cake and watched as her eyes crinkled, so focused on finding everything that you needed.

‘Are we making a cake?’

‘We are,’ she snuck a quick grin, her head pack in the cabinet searching for a baking tin.

‘What type of cake?’

‘Well,’ she resurfaced, placing the tin on the counter, her cheeks lightly flushed. ‘I kind of asked Elena what your favourite cake was and she said your favourite was a lemon cake, so we are going to make that. Unless she lied…’

‘No, no,’ you tried hiding a grin, fingers picking at your palm. ‘It is my favourite.’

‘Good.’ Rebekah exclaimed, almost throwing the flour at you. ‘You'll do dry and I’ll do the wets.’

Continuing to make the cake, Rebekah was whisking the cake batter enthusiastically, dancing along to Stacy’s Mom that blasted through the stereo. Carelessly throwing her limbs up and down, swaying her head with the biggest grin you had ever seen…She was so beautiful

‘Oh,’ Rebekah gasped, your mouth widening in shocked as wet drops of batter landed on your face, Rebekah accidentally swinging the wrong arm to the rhythm.

You let out a giggle, trying to swipe away the batter but it was no ise. Every stroke just spreading it more evenly across your face. ‘Shit.’

‘Here I got it,’ she set aside the bowl and came closer, placing her thumb on your cheek, getting the batter on her finger, her eyes momentarily longing on you. She retracted her thumb and licked off the excess, eyes never breaking contact.

You stared at her for what felt like forever, captivated by her face; her eyes, her lips, all whispering to you that you should come closer. You leaned in, your heart beating so powerfully you ought to stop, exhaustion that came with the sickness. But you didn’t. Neither did she. Her breath ricocheted off your cheeks, her glimmering eyes infatuating yours as you could feel your lips take the lead but before your skins touched, a loud opening of the door made you jump back, looking back at what had caused you to separate.

‘What do you want, Elijah?’ Rebekah asked forcefully, the older man’s eyes glimpsing at both you and her

‘Do I need to want something walking around in my house?’

You observed the two, their banter making it clear that he too must be one of the ‘too many’ brothers she had talked about.

Feeling queasy, you quickly said goodbye to Rebekah and Elijah, telling them you weren’t feeling too well, a perk when being the teenager with cancer. Everyone at all times will believe it.

You had to get away from Rebekah. She was clouding your mind and falling for a girl wasn’t supposed to happen. You’ve been with a guy or two and those feelings you felt when you were around them, you recognised as the image of her resurrected itself in your mind. You liked her, but you couldn’t like her. At least not right now.

‘I’m home!’ You called into the house, the smell of grilled eel filtering through the air: your favourite.

‘We’re in the kitchen!’

You placed your backpack next to the stairs, ready to take them to your room once you were done with dinner. Entering the kitchen you saw your mother plate the last of the cut up eel pieces onto the plate, placing it on the table with some salads and rice. Your father stood by the kitchen aisle making some mocktails from his newly purchased mocktail cookbook thing you got him recently.

After dinner you went up to your room, putting the oxygen tube on your face as today’s exhaustion came running to you. Thinking back on the moments that increased your heartbeat.

‘Honey, are you okay?’ You heard your father’s footsteps approaching your room, leaning against the door frame.

‘Yeah,’ you nodded, glancing at your oxygen tank. ‘Hard day. Have to catch my breath. Literally.’

He chuckled, coming in to hug you. ‘Just make sure to tell us once you’ve reached your limit, okay? I know you like to act tough and pretend that you can still keep up but you need to have a reality check. You’re not the same as before and that’s okay. No one is trying to put you in a box. You just need to accept that certain limits cannot be reached anymore…’

‘Yeah I know, dad. I know. It’s just hard having to turn my back on my past life.

The next few weeks Rebekah and you pretended like the moment back at her house didn’t happen. Continuing to sit next to each other in class, meeting at each other’s houses or going out in town.

It was easier ignoring the moment than trying to talk about it because if you were being honest, what would you even say? You liked her as a friend. Nothing more. You’ve known her for less than a month so how could your heart possibly flutter at the thought of her touch on your skin.

Then you were invited to the Mikaelson ball, a card delivered to your doorstep. On the back Rebekah’s writing said, to meet her there to clear stuff up.

So when Friday came, you managed to find a dress and head towards the mansion you had previously entered before. Only this time you were hooked to oxygen after a water build up episode that caused your lungs to fill with water.

Arriving at the mansion you were greeted by servants who took your coat, without looking, wanting to grab your tank thinking it was luggage. ‘I’ll be needing this…’

‘Hi.’

You turned around, already knowing whose soft voice it belonged to.

‘Hi.’

‘You look gorgeous.’ She awed in amazement.

‘You too.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘Oh, yeah,’ you noticed her lingering stare on your tank. ‘Lungs filled with water. Nothing crazy.’

‘We need to talk. I’m sorry.’

‘No I’m sorry.’ You said.

‘For what.?’

Compelled in the moment you pulled the last of your confidence together and stepped closer to Rebekah, who looked unsure of what you were about to do. ‘For this.’ You placed your lips on Rebekah’s, gently kissing her lips as a thousand thoughts filled your mind, all screaming to stop, but you didn’t want to.

Rebekah’s hand found your face as she deepened the kiss,careful not to tangle the oxygen tube.

You’ve never felt this way before. You thought Rebekah was just the type of pretty you wanted to be, not knowing that she was just someone you wanted to be with. And with dying time there wasn’t another person you would rather kiss other than her.

The start of a short love story; the dead and dying.

293 notes · View notes

tkaulitzlvr · 8 months

Note

lots of tom angst🙏🙏

DID YOU MEAN IT? - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: you and tom are strictly friends with benefits. but when he says something that goes against that, you try to get to the bottom of it, changing whatever you both were forever.

content: little bit of smut, but mainly angst.

a/n: thank you for requesting this i love love loveee reading and writing angst, i hope you enjoy!!

my hands rake down his back, the pain causing him to wince slightly, yet it only increases his stamina as he thrusts in and out of me at an even faster pace.

my mind is hazy, failing to focus on anything else besides the way his tip repeatedly hits my g-spot, reminding me that nobody else can make me feel the way he can, as much as my conscience tries to convince me otherwise. his hands hold my waist, kneading the flesh roughly, giving him a better hold of me, the way his thumbs dig into me definitely leaving marks. however the only thing on our minds is finding the release that we so desperately crave, our need to chase the familiar feeling only increasing with each strong thrust, his pelvis meeting mine with just as much desire as the first time this happened.

it always amazed me how we could act like this, so completely connected, both physically and mentally, only bothered about pleasing each other in this moment, nothing else mattering but caring for one another in the most intimate way possible. this was the only time we would feel this way, tom being inside me lit a fuse that could only be ignited when our bodies were against each other, emitting sounds from our mouths that nobody else would ever hear, secrets of our unknown intimacy kept in the most unholy way imaginable. but when i wasn’t inside his hotel room, allowing him to do whatever he wanted to me, we were nothing but mutual friends, only seeing each other when we had to, at events which we were forced to attend, everyone around us completely unaware of the screams that would escape my mouth time and time again from the smallest dose of the addiction that is his touch.

which is why, each time he bottoms out into me, fucking me as if we are blinded by love and not lust, my mouth hangs open, no sounds able to escape, lost in a blur of pleasure and desperation. but i knew that once this was over, i would come back into reality, leaving his hotel room just as fast as i had entered it, waiting for the next time i would crave his touch again or, in most cases, he would crave mine, and i would find myself back in the same position that i am in now.

and i didn’t mind it. what tom and i had was convenient for me - it gave me the short term pleasure i needed, without the heavy constraints of a relationship, something that i knew i wasn’t ready for. i had ruled out anything serious and, with the way that tom had insisted that we couldn’t catch feelings from the get-go, i was satisfied with the weekly hookups when tom was around. the freedom of being able to sleep with other people, another rule that we both had mutually agreed on, stopped me from getting attached, my mind and body on someone else’s before i could even think about missing him. how could i have caught feelings? tom was on tour for months, sleeping with any girl with a decent enough body that would fall at his feet, his fame and good looks meaning that in every country, no matter where, he would have no issue finding a girl willing to have sex and leave - so it wasn’t like he needed me as a long term fuck buddy, yet he still kept me around, and i liked it.

he was hitting all the right angles, my mouth no longer able to hold back the sounds as they pour from my lips, low whines sounding throughout the room above his almost inaudible grunts.

“fuck i’m close.” i manage to let out, clenching around him as he nods his head, never slowing down.

“i know…me too.” he mutters, resting his head in the crook of my neck and starting to plant soft and slow kisses there.

his dick starts to twitch, this being enough to trigger my release as i let out a loud moan, my eyes rolling to the back of my head with each movement.

“god…i love you.” tom lets out, his breathing uneven as he releases inside of me, riding out both our highs.

i freeze, my body unable to move as he is too lost in pleasure to even begin to think about what he had just said, let alone begin to study my reaction, yet it is the only thing on my mind. he had never uttered those three words to me, no circumstance ever needing him to, the fact that we were nothing but fuck buddies making the idea of confessing our love completely crazy, at least to me.

he collapses on top of me, catching his breath and slowly pulling out, rolling over and grabbing a cigarette from his bedside table, lighting it and bringing it to his pink lips. he is acting like nothing has happened, as if he hasn’t just confessed his love to me, absent mindedly smoking whilst my head is spinning, thinking of every possibility that could have caused him to even think about saying those words, knowing that he was the one to be so strict about catching feelings. i couldn’t think of a way to bring it up, the thought of the conversation completely terrifying me. hey tom, you kinda just confessed that you love me, and if you didn’t mean it we can just let it go and move on?

there was no way to address what he had said without creating unwanted tension, so i sat silently, staring at the wall, refusing to look at him and waiting for him to start a conversation. he leans over, putting his cig out before clearing his throat.

“hey, thanks for coming at such short notice by the way, sorry it was really random but i got back off tour earlier today and i just wanted to see you…kinda missed having you around.” he admits, turning to face me.

“you missed me?” i scoff, a sarcastic laugh escaping my mouth as i pull on my panties and bra, returning to my spot on one side of the double bed whilst he sits at the other.

“what, am i not allowed to miss you?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“i don’t know, it’s just kinda weird. we never really see each other unless you want to fuck.” i reply, sensing that the conversation is turning sour.

“that’s not true.” he begins, his voice raising as he quickly becomes defensive. “whenever i try talk to you, you tell me to cut the bullshit and get straight to the point if i want to fuck.”

“you never exactly say no though? name one time we’ve met up and it hasn’t lead to this.” i remark, gesturing to our situation, me in only my lingerie, and tom completely naked, only the messed up white sheets covering his lower half, his upper completely on show, his dreads tied up in their usual ponytail.

“i don’t have much choice do i? all i am is a quick fuck to you, aren’t i?” he questions, hurt evident on his face.

“is that not what this whole thing is? or am i just making up the entire conversation where you made sure that we were nothing but a quick fuck to eachother? you made it crystal fucking clear that we couldn’t catch feelings tom, i don’t understand where this is all coming from.” i fire back, not understanding this entire conversation and where it is headed.

“that was months ago. was it not?” he starts. “i think you and i both know that if i was just after a quick fuck, i could get it pretty fucking easily.”

a heavy silence lies in the air, only thickening as i stay quiet, trying to find the right words to say, not looking to worsen things, though he is clearly asking for an argument.

“did you mean it?” i ask, finally meeting his eyes for the first time.

“mean what?”

“i heard what you said before tom. i don’t know if you expected me to ignore it or forget about it but that’s not gonna fucking happen. so did you mean it?” i repeat, becoming tired of the way he says so much, yet he reveals basically nothing.

“i don’t know.” he says simply, breaking our eye contact and looking straight downwards into his lap.

“the fuck do you mean you don’t know? you had the balls to say it in the first place and now you’re saying you’re not sure? it takes a lot of nerve to confess that you love me, can you stop playing it off and just answer me?” i shout.

“i don’t know, okay? what, you want me to lie to you? it just slipped out, i didn’t-”

“what now you never even meant to say it in the first place? you expect me to just stand here and wait until you know, so you can fuck with my head some more? you’re unbelievable tom.” i scoff, picking up my clothes and hurriedly putting them on, walking out onto the balcony and resting my arms on the ledge, tom’s rushed footsteps quickly coming towards me as he stops, standing beside me.

“you and i both know it’s not like that.”

“do i? it looks like i really don’t fucking know a lot! you’re really messing with my mind right now tom, you tell me pretty sternly that i cant catch feelings and now you’re stood in front of me telling me that you don’t know if you love me or not? after months of us having quick sex whenever it’s convenient for us.”

he pauses, opening his mouth to speak, yet no sounds comes out.

“jesus christ do you really think it’s just sex?” he finally asks.

“i don’t know what to think anymore! seems like everything i thought i knew turns out to be a huge fucking lie.” i remark, failing to see how we are getting anywhere as i am only left even more confused than i was.

“if it was just sex, why would i have kept you around for this long? i could’ve gotten ‘just sex’ from anyone. i’ve tried to get you to see that, but you shut me out! you back out and take it as me wanting a fuck, when i just want to spend time with you.” he responds, clearly becoming more and more agitated.

“god do you even hear yourself right now? you talk about me like i’m some possession, that i should be grateful you’ve ‘kept me’ for this long! well, i’m not tom. i’m pissed, and i’m fucking allowed to be. don’t act shocked when i take you making conversation for wanting to hook up, that’s what it was always meant to be. i’m not gonna sit here and wait for you to decide how you feel. i just- i cant. sorry if that’s not the answer that you wanted to hear, but i just can’t.” i say, losing my patience faster and faster by the second, the more shitty excuses he attempts to make only leave me more agitated.

“i get it, but you’re asking me to make my mind up right now. that’s a crazy ask, you know?” he asks, his voice now a little calmer than it was before.

“then why did you say it in the first place, hm? don’t get pissed off at me for wanting an answer as if the words didn’t come out of your mouth.” i shoot back, his selfishness coming through more than anything else.

“i’m not trying to make this any harder on you, but this shit isn’t easy on me either!” he replies, leaning his head backwards and letting out a shaky sigh.

“easy on you? jesus christ how the fuck do you find a way to make this about you? you know what, maybe we should just call this whole thing off, it’s clearly turned into something that it’s not, that it just can’t be. it’s better for both of us.” i finally say, turning back into the hotel room, leaving tom alone on the balcony as i hurriedly grab my things.

“stop! fuck- just wait a second.” tom panics, rushing back inside and attempting to grab my wrist, looking into my eyes.

i study his features for a second. his eyes, soft, yet way deeper than the intense outburst of emotion that he let show, stare pleadingly into mine. i notice the glassy tint that settles over the hazel, this side of him both enticing and scaring me. his skin, smooth and inviting, something that i have only seen in moments of intimacy when it is pressed against mine, something that i have never had the chance to properly gaze at until now, lets a single tear drop onto it, tinting it’s glow with a small giveaway of his agony. his lips, warm and inviting, a part of him that i have gotten to know so well, unable to count the amount of times they have been pressed against mine in moments of reciprocated lust, are parted slightly, letting heavy breaths escape them, longing to spew out his feelings, yet they hold back.

i take a final look, knowing that it is the last time i will see these features up close.

“it’s over. bye tom.”

requests are open! if you want a part 2 lmk!!

sorry this took so long i was literally more than halfway through writing and tumblr glitched and deleted it all so after a small mental breakdown i had to start again💯💯 sleep w one eye open tumblr i don’t forgive u .

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #kaulitz #tom kaulitz angst #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader #kaulitz twins #tomkaulitz #tom kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel

325 notes · View notes

hayleybarnesx · 5 months

Text

MDNI

Simon “Ghost” Riley headcannons.

There’s so much more then this in my head but I haven’t written my own work in a long time, this is just the version of simon “ghost” Riley who lives in my head rent free! Any support/feedback is appreciated.

———

• he can cook some basic meals, but nothing overly complicated. And he always makes sure his partner eats first.

• he shows his love through actions not words. He covers the corners of tables so you don’t hit your head if you bend down to pick something up. If your also military he will make sure all your gear and guns are kept in the best condition they can be and he’s doing regular checks. He makes sure you’ve drank enough and are taking care of yourself properly. Just all the little things.

• As lovely the fantasy is in head cannons and fics are where he’s written as a hard dom/sadist type I honestly just don’t see it.

• I do think that he’s a dom though, I don’t see him liking to give up control especially when your first starting to get used to eachother, it’s too much trust for Simon to give you until he knows for sure he can trust you - (doesn’t mean he very occasionally might let you have some control - which gradually increases over the night once your both comfortable around intimacy with eachother.)

• I think that sex is very intimate and soft with him, very sensual and comforting for both you and him. At most I see him loosely holding your neck but not enough that you’re not able to breathe. (I also think he likes feeling your pulse under his hand) or occasionally letting his hand rest slightly firmer than usual on your soft skin at your hip or waist just enough to feel you.

• He’s checking in regularly, making sure his perfect darlin is loving it as much as he is.

• PRAISE AND DEGRATION.

• He needs a safe word, for both of you. He’s so much more than his trauma but he also understand the effects it’s had on him, even if he doesn’t show it. Having a safe word in place for both of you just eases his mind a little. He would hate it if his perfect little angel felt too uncomfortable to say the safeword so he always makes it a point to watch your reactions carefully, and he’s very good at catching even the slightly discomfort or pain and will change or adjust accordingly to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

• I can see him being into sensory play, blindfolding especially. Anything that hightens the experience and pleasure.

• Even though I don’t think his communication is the best (especially early on in the relationship) he’s always checking in on your when you’re having sex or doing anything or that nature. Reminding you in more then ok to use the safe word regardless of the kind of play your doing.

• “Atta gir, just like that.” “Need me to slow down, sweetheart?” “Fuckin hell, good girl.” “Takin me so well, bloody hell darlin.”

• I can see him being a degrader though, big time. Not overly mean but he takes a certain type of pleasure from calling you names and embarrassing you. Although he will always know (and respect!) your limits and will never say things he knows you don’t like or that won’t bring you both to pleasure. And he does make you beg.

• “Such a little slut, so wet already?” “We’ve barely fuckin started princess. So needy for me, no one else able to please you the way I can?” “You want my cock? Beg me for it.”

• I’m not 100% sold on this but I can sorta see him doing primal play/ and or cnc, but this would not be rushed and I can only see it happening if it’s something that his partner has been really interested in for awhile, I don’t see it as something he himself is massively fond of or something he will do for his own benefit specifically, it wouldn’t be rushed or done without all safety precautions taken and not until you both are fully trusting and understanding of eachother completely.

• and my god he loves giving head. And he’s bloody amazing at it too.

• scary dog privileges. Big time. He’s always either next to you or right behind you.

• he really doesn’t strike me as the possessive type - protective, yes. But not possessive. You always know your safe with him and he will never let you feel uncomfortable.

• literal embodiment of “wear what you want. I can fight.”

• I think he definitely has a size kink, and if you play into it it makes him feral.

• he loves if his partner has a voice kink and he will happily talk you through anything you need.

• will fuck you with the mask on if you ask, he will chuckle to himself when you bring it up the first time though.

• the glare he gives others if they look at his perfect little darlin for too long is so harsh they end up leaving you alone very quickly.

153 notes · View notes

hoeforhao · 8 months

Note

hi can i request for minghao and “Stop dancing like that or I’m going to cum right here” <3

jumped in queue because this minghao concept was eating my brains out

“Liking this Mr Xu? Or should i shift?” you move your hips slightly upwards to brush against the crotch of the town’s most feared assasin aka Mr Xu Minghao, giving him the sultriest lap dance your club has ever seen you doing while he holds down the urge to rip that black satin slip dress off of your glistening curves and take you then and there; infront of all your workmates because the last thing he cared about was a bunch of strangers watching him fuck his stress out into his favorite woman.

But he held it in as this time he wanted you all to himself, alone, away from all the excited and hungry eyes.Why? Because tonight he was about to ravish each and every corner of your skin, strip you down to your bare body and have you whimpering for more under him.

“I think just Ms Y/n’s moans would be enough entertainment for your party tonight. No need for visuals right?” Minghao looks at the leader of the squad dead in the eyes, notioning him take his minions out of his room right at this instant.

“Impatient enough Hao?” you quickly turn around on his lap as soon as your members leave the place, wrapping both of your arms around his neck as you now have complete access to tease the shit out of your secret lover’s patience. Bending your head down to minghao’s neck you place your dark wine lips against his sides,sensualy drawing them out on his spider lily tattoo, knowing quite well he never let anyone touch that part of him.

Minghao instantly pulls you back by your hair, your pale locks seeping out of his slender fingers, his dark eyes looking at you with something that would run down shivers against anyone else’s spine but not yours….cuz for you it meant you were successful in getting on his nerves and an invitation for you to keep testing him even more, so that later your face can be smothered down with ruined mascara and bleeding lipstick as he rails you without any mercy.

“I was away for one month and looks like my doll has already forgotten all the rules, hmm?” his hold on your hair tightens as he brings his mouth dangerously close to your throat, landing a sharp bite on your adam’s apple, making you move up his lap even more from the sudden pain,your bare cunt now resting perfectly atop his clothed dick.

“No panties!! Such a needy little whore for me, huh baby.” minghao throws his head back against the couch from the instant pleasure as you waste no time in being cocky again and start grinding on his boner, your hips sliding in and out against his thighs while you stare him down with luring eyes of a wolf, tempting him to break apart all the boundaries and get lost in your dom.

Minghao’s hands increase its grip on your loose hair as his other one starts travelling up your exposed back, around your belly and finally onto your barely covered tits. Not being able to contain the pleasure your erotic lap dance is giving him, his palms start massaging your soft mounds, pulling them out gently so that they slightly spill out of the lingerie, creating the perfectly erotic scene infront of him - his favourite woman seated on his lap, the moonlight shining through her hair, boobs lightly jiggling from the oh so slow action he bare pussy is giving is throbbing cock, while he keeps on pinching down on her already puffy nipples, earning the best alluringly soft moans from the lady.

“Stop dancing like that or I’m going to cum right here” he finally speaks up, words barely audible amidst the lewd train of groans and moans his voice carries out with itself, as he harshly tugs onto your scalp once again to stop you from completely pushing him off the edge that very instant. Your eyes shift from mean to meanest, looking at that one drop of blood painted against his lips from him trying to hold his release in after your merciless teasings.

“Would definitely not want those precious juices to spill themselves out onto your favorite pants instead of this dripping cunt, am i right Mr Min?”

#minghao smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #smut prompts #minghao imagines #minghao x reader #minghao x y/n #xu minghao #svt x y/n #svt x reader #minghao drabbles #svt drabbles #seventeen drabbles #kpop drabbles #svt imagines #sam writes

190 notes · View notes

ukrfeminism · 1 month

Text

Women in the UK are waiting almost nine years for an endometriosis diagnosis, according to research that found many women are "dismissed, ignored and belittled".

The study by the charity Endometriosis UK found waiting times for the condition to be formally identified have significantly deteriorated since the pandemic, increasing to an average of eight years and 10 months - up 10 months since 2020.

The report, which surveyed 4,371 women, also found that almost half of respondents had visited their GP 10 or more times with symptoms before receiving a diagnosis.

Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows in other places, such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes.

It impacts around one in 10 women and symptoms can vary from person to person.

"My periods are… painful to the point where I'm bedbound," said Sanchia Alasia, who was diagnosed with the disease in 2010, after 15 years of symptoms.

As a former mayor of a London borough, she has led a busy and productive life - but pain and discomfort were never far away.

"I've missed so many engagements," she said.

"I remember missing my nephew's funeral. I've missed dinners, day trips. I wouldn't even count the amount of money I've lost over things that I've booked and not been able to attend.

"It can be incredibly frustrating," she added.

Emma Cox, chief executive of Endometriosis UK, said the problems with diagnoses persist because symptoms are often misunderstood.

"Day to day, without a diagnosis, some people have real issues both physical and mental health, because they'll be in severe pain," Ms Cox said.

If left undiagnosed and untreated, endometriosis can lead to worsening physical symptoms and even permanent organ damage.

The charity's research showed that, while women in England and Scotland wait an average of eight years and 10 months for a diagnosis, those in Northern Ireland wait nine years and five months, and those in Wales wait nine years and 11 months.

It also found that 52% of respondents had visited A&E at least once due to symptoms of endometriosis.

Ms Cox said: "We want this to be a real wake-up call for governments and the NHS.

"What we'd like to see is a commitment from the NHS and governments in each nation in the UK, to have a target of an average diagnosis time, by a year or less by 2030.

"We believe that's doable," she added.

Minister for the Women's Health Strategy, Maria Caulfield, admitted more needs to be done to improve women's experiences of the healthcare system.

"From getting an initial diagnosis to getting the right care and treatment, we must learn from this report," she said.

"We launched our Women's Health Strategy to do just this - listen to women. Endometriosis is a priority area within our strategy, so expect to see more in this space.

"Through the strategy, we are working to turn 'dismissed, ignored and belittled' into 'listened to, understood and empowered'."

#articles #health

54 notes · View notes

konigsblog · 9 months

Text

my personal opinions on the cod mw2 mens libidos, highest to lowest ☄️

minors dni, smut and mentions of sex drives.

highest in my personal opinion would be soap. there's something about him that makes me feel like he's always down - maybe because he radiates energetic energy. he isn't the persistent type though, doesn't want to bother you with his sex drive, so he usually jerks off to your panties. otherwise, he's always down whenever you mention it..

second closest would be gaz, i think. i view both gaz and soap similar with their personalities, just not exact; (chatty, funny..) they have their own quirks and i feel like gaz finds himself horny more often than he realises, if you're too sore from previous days, he'll gladly take your hand or eat you out slowly whike pumping his cock, burying his face in your cunny.

third: ghost. i don't think a lot of people will agree with this but i can see simon having a high sex drive, just not as high as johnny or kyle. he knows his size is painful so he usually jerks off to photos of you. will be a bit iffy if you allow him anyways, worried you'll be in pain since he's been fucking you previously.

i believe fourth is price, busied with work, usually reports and files. loves when you cockwarm him though, able to get work done and experience pleasure. he knows it can be uncomfortable without movement, so he allows you to bounce or press a vibrator against your clit, squirting all over your hands. kisses your neck a lot, and prefers handjobs than to bother you with his rough fuckings, will give you attention so you know you're doing a good job.

then i think it's alejandro, i was contemplating switching him with ghost or price, so tell me your opinions, i'm all ears!! i don't think he's very bothered about fucking you super often, enough to show that he loves you. maybe during the shower, an intimate moment where he can express his love through eating your pussy or with his thrusts, deep and slow, increasing as he gets closer to his release.

könig, my husband and favourite man, i don't think he'd be super sexual. a pretty low libido, but what i'd consider atleast fairly average. he knows his size, and understands the pain so he lets you rest before he fucks you again. that's not to say he does enjoy a handjob, better than a blowjob since no one can really take his size, but your soft hands wrapped around his girth and stroking him, sloppy kisses while sat on the bed as you both prepare for rest, cumming all over your hand.

graves is a busy man, like price, but he doesn't like being bothered about it because it can make him distracted, and mixed with his temper, he'll get frustrated. tell me your opinions since i know this may be an unpopular opinion, but i do think he prefers a handjob when he can give you all of his attention, kissing you or moaning when you jerk him off, or riding his dick.

rudy, i think he's similar to graves in a way that he wants all of his attention on you. a soft dom who prefers giving than recieving, anytime you're waiting. i'm not saying he has the lowest libido, this one is based off your sexual drive because he's fine for whenever, ready to pleasure you in any way you like with his praise and soft lips against your skin.

#john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #captain john price #alejandro vargas #könig #rodolfo parra #141 smut #los vaqueros #call of duty modern warfare #orla speaks #cod mw2

152 notes · View notes

lets-try-some-writing · 11 months

Note

ty in advance for reading this. there’s a v small number of autobot fliers. the maths doesn’t add up??? no way 99% fliers are cons. Bee esp could’ve been great: he’s a scout! and he’s named after a flying insect so ya know. can i req Bee who for whatever becomes a flier and some Dadimus Prime having a heart attack cause he’s not used to his sparkling being so high up?? pls get down???

To my knowledge the number difference is just because the entirety of Vos (save for an odd few) joined the Decepticons alongside Starscream. Now I love this concept, so don't mind me while I go nuts writing for it :)

A Bee with Wings

It is not too common, but sometimes for whatever reason, flier sparklings can be forged without their wings at first. This is often chalked up to frame type differences and base coding making it so that the sparkling in question won't have any glaring weaknesses upon creation. But whatever the case, such sparklings are quickly identified and offered to the appropriate caretakers through simple examinations of their code and frame structure.

Bumblebee went through every examination with little issue upon being found and taken in. He was malnourished and most certainly too small for his age, but he had the bulky build of a grounder and the disposition of one as well. He preferred the ground and showed no interest in performing feats in the air as others of his age group who had wings might. He was perfectly average and showed nothing that could possibly pertain to him wanting to take to the skies all throughout his sparklinghood. In fact Bee seemed more inclined toward remaining on the ground with Optimus, often huddling around his pedes nervously when out in the open.

That desire to stay on the ground never really faded as he edged into younglinghood. By that point if he was a surprise flier he would have shown signs, and looking back, he had. He merely hid them well amidst the chaos of war and the ravages of time.

His growth was delayed by increasing shortages of energon, and thus his frame all but ceased development around halfway into his younglinghood. This was concerning, but unavoidable. However his delayed growth often lead Bee to come to Optimus and Ratchet with aches and pains in his back that neither could identify. Bee also couldn't transform, a fact that left both the Prime and medic worried and conflicted. By the time one entered younglinghood they should be able to transform, and yet Bee couldn't. They had nothing else to go on, and so blamed the inability to transform on his stunted growth.

Many long cycles were spent reassuring Bumblebee that just because he couldn't transform, that didn't make him unworthy. It saddened Optimus greatly to see his dear sparkling so upset with himself for something that was out of his control.

Bee also showed an increasing awareness for the sky, although his interest in it beyond searching for enemy units was all but non-existent. There were also a few odd incidents of him standing atop tall structures and gazing down as if contemplating, however those were few and far between. Aside from those strange events and his inability to transform, Bumblebee was a perfectly normal grounder... up until a year into their stay on earth.

It was sudden and frightening, but one cycle late at night Bumblebee began to scream. Optimus was up with Ratchet in a mere Klik and they quickly began trying to hold Bee down as he was ferried into the medical bay. For hours they labored trying to understand what was wrong when the issue finally revealed itself. Bursting from his back were two long awaited wings many vorns overdue. They were frail and still very new, but over the course of three agonizingly long days were no one got anything done, the wings finished developing and settled enough to be of use.

It was a shock for everyone, Bee most of all. For his entire life it had been assumed that he was a grounder merely dealing with stunted growth. And while the second half of that belief was true, the first was most certainly not.

It was an interesting year or so after that. Bee needed lots of training to learn to use his wings, something Optimus and the team were not the best at assisting in. Ratchet knew how wings worked, but he did not know how to get Bumblebee to know that. Arcee was small enough to give Bee tips on how to not immediately crash due to her long vorns of leaping off things that likely shouldn't have been leapt off from. Cliffjumper was not much help, but he did do his best as moral support. Bulkhead took to catching Bumblebee when he did make attempts to fly and failed. And Optimus busied himself with trying to teach Bee to transform properly now that his sparkling finally had the capacity for it.

Bee scared the entire team as he struggled to learn to use his newfound wings. They made him more sensitive to changes in the air, often leading him to jump away from threats that were not there. Not to mention he had to learn to be careful with his wings, taking great caution to ensure they weren't damaged due to how sensitive they were. He didn't actually take to the skies for over three months, too used to the ground and afraid of falling to make the attempt. However his flier coding, no longer suppressed by the lack of wings quickly had him getting into the air weather he wanted to or not.

He quickly ended up jumping around base since it was considered safe. Then he swiftly ended up attaching himself to the team as he would with a flock, even looking back at them when they failed to join him in the skies in confusion before recalling their ground based alt-modes. Wing communication long left dormant in his codes came to the surface and old seeker methods started to show themselves within Bee.

All Optimus could do was scramble to keep up and try to teach Bee as much as he could considering his inability to fly. He showed Bee the history of fliers and offered what wisdom the Matrix had. It wasn't much, but it was enough. Of course it didn't stop Optimus from nearly having a spark attack every time Bee jumped off a cliff or threw himself into some ravine only to emerge just fine. And it still didn't stop Optimus from worrying when Bee eventually took the human children for flights after taking the under the team's wing.

Flight frames...

#maccadam #transformers #transformers prime #team prime #optimus prime #bumblebee #flier bumblebee #bee already causes enough trouble and now he can FLY #poor papa prime is already exhausted worrying for his kiddo #now he has to worry about bee crashing into something where he can't reach

180 notes · View notes

crisiscutie · 5 months

Note

Hiii i just came back to read some Sephiroth hc on tumblr and fell in love with safer sephiroth sooo much TT

So i wonder if i can get hc of safer sephiroth lost his goddess s/o so he try to break dimension into this world (yes our earth 🥹) to find his s/o in this world

I understand if this doesn't make any sense it just pop up on my mind 😭🙏 and im not that good in english language

Thank you so much tho ❤️

And it's fine if you don't want to write this

Losing you left Sephiroth feeling bewildered. His anger and sorrow consumed him. He always kept you by his side, never wanting to be without you. So how did this happen?

But no matter: He's determined to get you back by any costs.

He journeyed across many Cosmos, searching for you, until he finally reached Earth.

This new world you've reincarnated into is quite strange and different.

It's nowhere as advanced as Gaia but still had some similarities.

And most humans seemed to have the same ugly souls.

Sephiroth began to cleanse the planet of its resources, absorbing more people to increase his chances of finding you.

You were living as a regular human when he finally found you.

Sephiroth found it both amusing and irking to see his darling being assimilated and brainwashed by the pathetic humans.

As everyone was consumed by despair's icy breeze, he molded you back into the god/goddess you were.

But the horrifying scene of the planet turning into a lifeless husk and the deaths of those around you still left you in shock.

Even if you didn't like them, it still affected you deeply.

Sephiroth took the time to soothe you and repaired your broken mind.

He replicated the sights, sounds, and emotions from your previous life with him and infused them into your being, hoping to ease your journey of recovery.

Despite the lingering pain, you were able to remember your true identity after a while, and now you have returned to your rightful place next to him.

Sephiroth is delighted to have you back as your true self, and he will take every measure to keep you with him always.

#sephiroth #ff7 sephiroth #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth x reader #yandere sephiroth #safer sephiroth #ff7 #ffvii

66 notes · View notes

malarign · 11 months

Text

death by the window

(when you die all alone)

contains: angel!Sunghoon x fem!reader | genre: angst? fluff? honestly idk | tw! mention of death, hospitals, and unspecified disease, y/n is dying lonely (is she though?), please read at your own discretion | wc: 0,9k

reblogs, likes and comments are highly appreciated!!!

author’s note: i wrote it long time ago but honestly i love this one, this is my personal favorite, writing it brought me ultimate comfort, hope you’ll like it ❤️

After years of dealing with multiple hospitals, you decided to end treatment. It wasn’t an easy decision, but telling about this all of your closest family and friends was even worse, even more than dealing with a fatal disease. You were tired of waiting and not living your life the way you wanted. There were so many things on your to-do list like for example bungee jumping, scuba diving in Australia, sightseeing Paris at midnight, Harry Potter marathon with your friends, going to a fast food restaurant all dressed up, painting in a field full of flowers and most importantly finally seeing Wanzhou Waterfall in China.

That’s why you spent past few months and saved up the energy to be able to tick most of those things off. And you did apart from the last one. Even though it was your most desired dream you weren’t disappointed, thought that maybe if not that disease you wouldn’t be able to make it come true at the back of your mind.

It was a rainy evening when you felt that death was near. As if you knew your time was coming to an end you dialed your dearest friends and family’s numbers, talking to them as if nothing was happening. You shared sweet memories and thoughts, laughter and giggles filling your apartment.

“Mom, I think I’m gonna go to sleep, I’m pretty tired. I’ll see you tomorrow though,” you said calmly, with a single tear blurring your vision.

“Of course, honey. I love you so much,” she exclaimed on the other side of the line.

“I love you too,” you whispered and ended your last call. You stared blankly at your wall full of pictures, full of memories you made. This reminded you how blissful you felt at that exact moment.

You thoughts were disrupted when you felt somebody else's presence in the living room, and because of living alone out of fear your heartbeat increased and the palms of your hands became sweaty. Slowly you turned around on the couch to face the window. That’s where you saw a silhouette of a man.

“Who are you and why are you in my apartment?” you asked with a trembling voice.

“I didn’t want to scare you,” the figure said calmly slowly taking a few steps forward now standing in more illuminated place. His facial features became more visible along with pair of two, white-feathered, strong yet delicate wings. You felt like all of your worries faded away along with fear of a mysterious man, or more precisely, a mysterious angel. That’s when you knew. “My name is Sunghoon, and I’m your guardian angel.”

His deep voice was calm just like his appearance. His short black hair falling on his equally dark eyes. His posture was firm but soft at the same time. And his wings? Safe to say they were the most beautiful and grande thing you’d ever seen. White feathers covering them made them seem as fragile as the way he seemed. While looking at him, you felt like time and all the pain you had been feeling had stopped. At this ecstatic moment, your eyes filled with tears. Were you ready? Is death even something to be ready for? While those thoughts were at the forefront of your mind, you started crying without any notice. Without any questions Sunghoon sat next to you, bringing you closer in between both his arms and glorious wings.

“Nobody can be ready for leaving close ones. It’s not something to be embarrassed about Y/n.” You heard not even surprised that he knew what you were thinking about. “I promise that I did everything I could, but sometimes even Heavens can’t predict or get in the way of somebody’s fate. I was there with and for you for beautiful 21 years, experiencing your first friendships, first arguments with parents, first diagnosis, and all those wonderful adventures,” he answered all of your questions you didn’t even know you wanted to ask while pointing at the pictures on the wall. You followed after his fingers crossing around all of the photos. You smiled and looked at Sunghoon saying: “I think I’m ready to go now”.

He returned a smile and shook his head. “No, you’re not, Y/n,” he rejoined covering her vision with his wings. “There is one last thing you need to see.”

When he revealed the view, you realised you were no longer in your apartment in a rainy city. You were in the middle of the beauty of Wanzou Waterfall. Speechlessly you watched as the clear cascades of water fell with a soft splash. The temple hidden between waterfall standing proudly and firmly as if it was welcoming you to explore all of it’s secret paths and mysterious chambers.

You turned around rapidly to face Sunghoon. “How did you…” you stopped when you saw shy eyebrow raise on his face and sheepish smile.

“I know you better than anybody else, and I loved it whenever you were dreaming about this place. I just knew I had to take you here before… you know before what.” He said sctratching the back of his neck. You ran to sink in his embrace not knowing what to say in a situation like this.

“How much time do I have?” You mumbled against his chest.

“Don’t worry about time. You can stay here as long as you want” His answer made you look up and pull away form his warm arms. You ran, wanting to explore the place for as long as you could. And you did, along with your best friend, your angel.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

permanent taglist: (send an ask to be added) @nicholasluvbot, @en-chantedtomeetyou, @kpopstanmeg, @skzenhalove, @nfrgirl, @edensgardenn (in bold can’t be tagged)

#kflixnet #enhanet #sunghoon enhypen #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon fic #sunghoon angst #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagine #enhypen fic #park sunghoon #sunghoon

184 notes · View notes

mareagirls · 2 years

Note

If you’re still taking requests (I’m sorry- I’ve sent you so many 😭) it would be cool to have a Peter fic where the reader stops eating from school stress. But then she gets a massive migraine because of it and Peter cares for her. Thank you for your writing <3

Hey anon! thank you for the request! don’t worry about sending a lot of requests! I like hearing everyone’s promtps!

"Still studying, bub?"

Peter's voice startles you, tugging you out of the concentration bubble you'd previously been in and dumping you gently into reality.

You don't turn around, but you do nod, knowing that Peter won't mind too much. He knows how much studying for your upcoming exams means to you.

"I've got three chapters to go. Eat without me if you're hungry?"

“Baby.”

Something about his tone makes you turn around.

Peter Parker looks worried. Lip caught between his teeth, hair messy as if he’s ran his hands through it one too many times. His eyes are pooling with concern and when he runs a tired hand over his face, your stomach fills with guilt.

He steps further into the room, avoiding the splayed out tapestry of flashcards and mind maps strewn across the floor as he goes.

When he reaches your side, Peter crouches down in front of you with a tired smile. “You haven’t eaten all day. Sure you don’t want to take a break?”

“I’m okay, Peter. I just gotta power through.”

(You resist the urge to slump against him and let him carry you away from the desk. You know he will if you just say the word.)

“Sweetheart, you’re dead on your feet. Let me look after you?”

As if on cue, a low aching pain blooms in you head and you wince, dropping your pen and pressing your fingers against your temple hard. Peter shifts on the balls of his feet, eyebrows furrowed, reaching out like he wants to touch you but doesn’t know if he’ll make it better or worse.

“Headache?” his voice sinks to a low whisper.

There’s no point lying to him so you nod slightly and avoid his gaze.

“Oh, Y/N,” he strokes your cheek with his knuckles, your name a prayer on his lips. “You gotta take care of yourself, my love. You’re running yourself thin.”

There’s no reprimanding in his words. Only concern and the sweet domestic love he reserves just for you.

But because you’re stubborn, and always have been, you shake your head resolutely. Once, twice, doing your best to ignore the ache that burrows deep into your skull at the motion.

“I still need to finish studying.”

Peter’s tone is firm but gentle when he replies. “You need to eat something and drink some water too, lovely. Please.”

“I can’t, Peter. I have so much work to do.”

Peter cocks his head at the slight edge that has entered your voice, but you carry on speaking. Unable to stop.

“I need to revise because I can’t fail these exams, Peter. I can’t- shit. I can’t afford to fail, but I will if I don’t keep studying,” your breathing quickens, breaths coming sharp and tear-logged. “I won’t be able to forgive myself if I don’t pass, I won’t-”

Your voice cuts off with a choke and suddenly you’re crying and don’t know how to stop and the whole thing is making the pain in your head increase by the tenfold. Peter leans up instantly, gentle coos and murmured comforts falling from his lips as he places his large hand on the back of your head and pulls you forward into his shoulder.

You go willingly, tears swarming in your eyes as you make one last ditch attempt at snuffing out the pain by pushing your face into his soft sweatshirt

“I’m so tired.” The tears that leak out of your eyes wet Peter’s sweatshirt, but he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. Cradles your head against the crook of his collarbone and hums to himself, slow and easy.

You’re dimly aware that he can’t be comfortable in this position.

You: curled over him, still half sat on the desk chair as his arms bear almost the entirety of your weight. Him: kneeling upwards, running warm hands through your hair and whispering the gentlest of reassurances.

When you tell him so, Peter just pulls you a little closer and breathes you in.

“I don’t mind. Not when it’s you.”

You feel his lips ghost against your temple in a phantom kiss before he speaks again.

“How are you feelin’, baby? Any better?”

You wine dejectedly. “M’ head hurts,”

“Oh, my poor girl.” his mouth isn’t too far away from your ears at all, but the sound of his voice doesn’t hurt in the slightest. “We’re gonna get some food into you and then you can sleep as long as you want. Okay?”

There’s a small part of you that wants to fight his decision, but before you can voice it, another wave of pain catches you by surprise.

You muffle a sob into Peter’s shoulder and he eases you down from your seat completely, pulling you off the chair and wholly into his warm arms.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. You’re okay.” His reassurances don’t stop. Not even when you hold your breath from the pounding in your head or when you exhale shakily as it dissipates temporarily. Peter Parker’s lips find your forehead and don’t leave for a long long time.

Later, he feeds you some left over broth as you lie on the sofa and he sits by your head.

The pain is still there, present as ever. But now that you’re away from the blinding lamp lights at your desk, you find it more bearable.

Peter frets anyway.

“You sure you’re comfortable? I can move this pillow if you want?”

You decline politely and open your mouth for more broth. Peter obliges, filling his spoon with the warm liquid comfort and pushing it gently past your lips.

“There you go, love. You got it.”

Peter always gets sickeningly sweet when you’re ill, but you can never find it in yourself to mind much. When you finish the broth, he pushes the bowl and spoon onto the coffee table and squeezes you hand in his.

“Tomorrow, you and I are gonna have a long chat about academic pressure and pushing yourself too hard. Okay?”

You nod, chastened and Peter pulls your hand against his lips to press gentle kisses across your fingertips.

“Sleep for now, bub,” he says. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#tasm peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #tasm x reader #tasm peter parker imagine #tasm!peter parker #tasm peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #andrew garfield spiderman x reader #tasm!spiderman x reader #hurt/comfort #peter parker one shot #peter parker oneshot

1K notes · View notes

writtenbyred · 2 months

Text

Something Bad // A Matt Murdock x Reader fic // Slow burn

Note: Okay so I finally decided to post something I've had in my docs as a draft for forever, because why not. A slow burn matt murdock x reader romance with a whole lot of original storyline and plot building in this first chapter if you're willing to stick with it until you get the entrance of wonderful and rageful Matt.

Warnings: Reference to sexual violence/assault in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I have, since writing up lots for this story and planning it out and becoming attached to my character, seen other fics using an 'empath' OC, but I have become very attached to 'Ana' and I guess daredevil and all its angst lends itself well to an empath story so I'm sending this out into the ether anyways.

Go forth and read if you would like to <3 - Red

Chapter 1. Emotions.

Sat at a cold, metal table on a particularly uncomfortable chair, you looked intently at the person sitting opposite. There sat a young girl. In her file it said she was 21, but if you hadn’t seen that and had to hazard a guess, you’d have presumed her to be around 18. The way her eyes were cloudy with tears, her hands shaking slightly as she held them up to her chin, elbows lent on the cold metal, it all contributed to making her look younger - small, in that moment.

“It’s okay, Emma” You spoke, edging your hands forward on the table in a subconscious show of support. “You can take your time, we’re in no rush”

Emma looked upwards, then. You watched as a single tear slipped from her eye, only briefly tumbling down her cheek before Emma reached to wipe it with her sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” Emma stuttered a little over her words, her voice raspy from emotion. “I’m being silly, I just-”

As her words cut off mid sentence, you reached your hand forward quickly to place a comforting hand on Emma’s arm. The dark tumbling of vivid feelings - sadness, shame and fear, that you were already feeling inside your chest (or stomach, mind, just about everywhere? You weren’t 100% where the feelings of others ended up locating themselves within you) multiplied until she felt overwhelmed, having to shake her head with an exhale to push through them.

“Do not apologise. You are not being silly, and have nothing to feel sorry for. This is something incredibly difficult you’re doing, and I’m here to help you through it.” You grasped the girl's hand at that point, and in the way that you still did not fully understand, a wave of whatever calm you could find within yourself washed over you and towards Emma for a moment, and the girl let out a sigh as you watched some of that pain leave her. In that moment you felt good, happy that she could provide this sort of relief for somebody, even if only temporarily and not without an increase in your own anxieties.

“Thank you, I… I think I’m ready to talk now” And Emma’s words came at a perfect time, as a few moments later your head turned to the door, a soft knock floating through.

“You can come in” You called out to the officer you knew was standing on the other side, and then the door opened.

A police officer with a kind face stepped into the room, you had spoken with him earlier when you had first arrived - You were pretty sure he had said his name was Brett. He sent a small smile towards you both, and his empathy for the girl's situation shone through, even if you knew he would never be able to understand her emotions quite as well as you could.

“Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to see how you were getting on” He walked towards the table and you realised then he was holding a mug in his hand, placing it down in front of the girl, he then gestured towards it. “It’s tea.” Emma reached her hand out to grasp it and looked to give him a smile in thanks.

“Sorry Miss Johnson, I didn’t think to get you anything-” You cut off the officer - still unsure if it was definitely Brett he had said, definitely something with a B - before he could finish.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” You shifted her attention back to Emma as she released the hand you had half forgotten she was still holding in order to bring the mug to her lips. She seemed more relaxed now, the awful panic of hopelessness and shame creeping in having dissipated slightly.

“So, do you think we’re ready to make a full statement, or?” He trailed off slightly, looking from Emma to you. You looked to the girl, letting the silence continue for as long as necessary, giving the girl the opportunity to make her own decision. You knew her ability to say yes or no had already been taken from her at least once that day, and you weren’t about to do it again.

“Yes, I’m ready to talk now” Emma seemed to sit up a little in her seat, lifting her head higher in her decision.

“Okay, great. I’ll be taking it from you, if that’s okay? We can try to find a female officer if you’ll be more comfortable.” Brett added, pulling the lone chair from the corner of the room to the table in order to sit in between them.

“No, that's fine. But, could Ana stay, please?” Emma’s eyes shifted to yours, and the subtle plea held within them was noticeable, even if you couldn’t feel the emotion rolling off of her.

“That’s okay with me, If Miss Johnson-”

“Of course” You spoke to the room, and then to Emma. “I’ll stay.”

And so you did.

You stayed and listened as Emma spoke of what happened early that morning, when she had been finishing a night shift at around 5am. What had happened when the sky was still dark and Hell’s Kitchen still shrouded in shadows as she made the short walk through back streets towards a bus route. As she had been grabbed, attacked by rough hands who pulled her into an alleyway. You felt fear, panic rising in bubbles from her stomach, to her chest, to her throat. And so you leant forward, taking the girl’s shaking hand in yours when she’d faltered over her retelling, stopping to catch her breath through tears, the emotions intensifying as she worked to calm them. A subtle nudge from your mind, some quiet ringing in your own ears, and you saw as Emma’s shoulders seemed to relax slightly, her rapid breaths slowing and stabilising, allowing her to continue on. You offered her a weak smile in encouragement.

There were many times in your life where you had hated the fact that you were capable of this. When things had become overwhelming when you were younger, when emotions would feel like they were strangling you in some situations.

You hated hospitals, always. The fear, the pain, the hopelessness from so many had twisted painful knots into your stomach, caused your chest to tighten and your eyes to burn, when your Mum was sick, you had avoided the hospital as much as possible, often unable to visit her. your own home, after your mum had died, now that was simply unbearable.

But in rare moments like this, You were grateful for your ability to take some of the girl’s pain away, even if you had to feel it in turn.

Once the difficult conversation was done, Officer Brett Mahoney (you had read his name tag) had stopped the recording and explained to Emma what would happen next. Through this, though, and whilst they left the room and left Emma waiting for whoever she had contacted to come, You’s world was blurred. your body was exhausted, and a deep ache had built within you as you still felt all the painful emotions, now overwhelming your mind after such time. you had to stabilise yourself against the wall in the hallway for a moment whilst Officer Mahoney had gone to talk to an officer, closing your eyes to wait for the momentary dizziness to pass.

Hearing your name made you open your eyes, stand up straighter to face Officer Mahoney.

“Miss. Johnson, thank you for coming down.” His face was serious but the warmth shone through his eyes, as well as his feelings of appreciation, which washed over You like a hot shower, a momentary recess from the dark and cutting emotions you still had swirling within your. “Honestly, I don’t know how you do it, but you really managed to calm her down. She was a mess before, understandably. I don’t know if we would have gotten that statement until morning otherwise. Gives us a much better chance of finding the guy”.

“It’s no bother, I’m happy to do it” You sent a smile at him, your head slowly returning to functioning more capably. And as much as it did take a lot out of you, dealing with the overwhelming emotions of these difficult situations and the police station in general, you really were happy to do it.

“We’re getting a lot of similar cases at the minute” He shook his head at that and a grimace came on You’s face. you knew that, you’d had to do this for far more people lately. “It would be useful to have you there in future.”

A wave of nausea passed over you as another rush of panic and grief washed over you. You stole a glance back to the room you’d just been in, only a few feet away, and you realised you needed to get as far away from it as possible. So you reached your hand into the pocket of your jacket and quickly picked up your card, handing it to Brett with a forced smile.

“Call me here if you ever need someone again” You spoke before lifting your bag on your shoulder and turning to head towards the door, as quickly as you could without causing alarm. On the way out you felt a mixture of anger, grief, happiness, and then some more fear thrown in for good measure, all flowing out of the people sitting in the station.

Once you reached the large entrance doors, finally pushing outside into the cool air, you breathed in a deep sigh of relief. Your hands anxiously patted at your thighs, leaning your whole upper body forward as you shut your eyes, willing your brain to just calm. The emotions within you started to simmer down, as the outside air filled your lungs, it seemed as you exhaled a lot of the pain went with it, and you welcomed that calmer feeling, though some of the dizziness remained.

You hadn’t always been able to do this. As a kid you could remember people praising your empathy, a kind warm child who always wanted to make people feel better, so you supposed maybe it had always lived inside of you. Not that you really understood what ‘it’ was, but it was as you got a little older that it really started. As you started hitting teenage years, it was… overwhelming.

As other kids started being aware of themselves; feeling emotions more deeply, feeling embarrassment, starting to explore romantic interests - You felt it all, except not only for yourself. You supposed one of the first times you realised what was happening to you wasn’t normal was in 8th grade. A girl had come into class after a couple days away, her eyes looked a little lifeless, dark circles and redness that indicated she had been crying, but none of the other 13 year olds seemed to notice this, but You did, because as she walked into the room a pit opened at the bottom of your stomach, seemingly making room for the dark horrific feeling of a sad pain mixed with guilt, fear, hopelessness and anger to enter, taking You’s breath away. As it turned out, the girl had lost her father. That was the first time you had known what grief felt like, and it certainly wasn’t the last.

You checked your phone for the time, seeing it was 5:45pm, you’d spent far more time in the police station than you had expected to, and it was time for you to call it a day. You mostly worked alone, the card you handed over simply stating your name, and a description of Emotional counselling/Advocate/Representative to try and encompass the range of things you did for people. In reality this was everything from working with somebody to calm their nerves before giving a large presentation to, what you did far more often, coaching people who were scared and traumatised giving statements and later testifying in court. You were also part of a company who provided advocates to those who were vulnerable in any legal proceedings or meetings with law enforcement, but often once you had worked with somebody, you handed them your personal card, as agencies tended to pay jack shit.

You had desperately wanted to find any way you could put this curse some would call a gift to use, to try and help people if you could. You had too much experience of not being able to help people, especially the ones you loved, which was still eagerly eating away at you.

Near the station was a coffee shop you’d been to a few times before or after similar trips, and as much as caffeine may not help the banging headache that you had building, in that moment you really didn’t care.

On your short walk to the shop, the fluttering of different feelings inside you that you’d grown used to continued. Somebody on the phone was clearly in love, a warmth spreading through you as you pushed past the woman smiling at whoever she was talking to. Another was stressed, walking with purpose and tension in his shoulders which had passed through to you for a moment. You shook your head, willing yourself to try to tune it out for the moment.

You reached the shop, and headed to join the queue of people also craving their caffeine fix.

You browsed the menu as you took shuffling steps as the line kept moving up, your eyes falling on a sweet caramel filled coffee, your heart tugging towards it. When you stepped up to the counter, however, you ordered a large black coffee. You had a guilty pleasure of sickly sweet coffee, however your life wasn’t so much about what you wanted anymore.

You took a large gulp of the bitter and hot liquid that scalded your throat slightly, but it was better than feeling the remnants of the acidic feeling of panic you’d felt there all afternoon.

Back at your one bedroomed, simple apartment You had chucked your coffee cup into the bin, your body now slightly electrified by the caffeine content, of which you were glad. You expected the night ahead of you may be a long one, and the more awake you were for it, the better.

Grabbing your laptop, you placed it on your rectangular coffee table, taking a seat on the somewhat battered hard leather couch. You then pulled the laptop onto your lap, pressing the power on button.

Once the light finally flickered on and the screen illuminated, you opened up a document you had, very cleverly you thought, entitled Mom’s recipes. Scrolling past the few simple recipes you’d stolen from the Food Network, you came to the page on which you were keeping the information you had gathered. You bit your lower lip as your eyes darted back and forth to scan the things you had previously written.

There was only just under a page of short sentences, but it was a better position than you had been in 6 months ago, so you would take it.

“Daniel - Previous chef at Le Frère Juste restaurant had been known to have fallen into the criminal network of Hell’s Kitchen, believed to be due to a substance abuse problem Mr.-”

You stopped reading that particular sentence, which was a quote from a police report you had obtained a couple months back through means that some would possibly frown upon, including the police that it came from, which meant that perhaps it wasn’t entirely legal. What you had been more interested in was the name attached to said report. One Officer Jenkins, who you had spent time trying to track down for more information, but was so far unsuccessful.

You weren't empty handed, however.

At the beginning was the hardest, not knowing where to look for information,how to recognise the snippets of clues that could lead to more. But once you had finally gotten one name, you’d tumbled into another, then another. you should’ve been more shocked to discover the dark, tangled web of criminal factions that underpinned Hell’s Kitchen, but having lived here since you were 6 years old, you’d already seen (and felt) much of the darkness that shrouded Hell’s Kitchen.

The names you had gathered were few, but you were hopeful one of them could provide you with information you needed. So far you had only approached one of the men on your list, who had been unable to give you any information about Daniel or what he was involved with before he had died. You had half expected that however, having picked what you presumed to be the weakest first, to test whether you would be capable of approaching them, if you could use your ability in the right way to cause them to fear you enough to hand over information. Information you may not have gotten, but the sight of the guy running away at full speed once you’d lightened your effect on him certainly improved your confidence in the matter.

You had attended some form of fighting sport since you were a teen on and off, completing a couple years of boxing, some karate, kickboxing also. You’d figured out that punching, kicking, generally throwing yourself at things in some way was a great method for releasing some of the intense emotions pent up inside you that spilled out from everyone else into you. However, you were not technically a fighter of any kind, so 6 months ago when you’d decided this was something you would have to do, for Daniel, you’d started taking self defence lessons, and then deciding you wanted something a little more on the offensive, you’d started one-on-one kickboxing. Of course, you hoped to be successful enough at using your ability against people, but you weren't stupid, and knew you were getting yourself into something dangerous, and thought it best not to rely on simply scaring gang members into not killing you.

Even with trembling hands, you thought, surely a gun shot would eventually be on target.

Tonight, however, you were hoping for a more successful night. you eyed the second name on your list, and the information you had gained on where this Alex Peters would be this evening by doing some, as some may say, light stalking of Alex a couple of nights earlier this week. you’d known his favourite bar hangout, and after frequenting there many times, you finally got lucky and spotted him at the start of the week, and now you knew he was going to be meeting with some others tonight in Hell’s Kitchen.

Planning on getting him alone, and asking him what he knew about Daniel, you slipped into your darker, more athletic clothing hoping to blend into the shadows. Once you had what you needed, including a small pen knife and mace on your keys, the only physical offensive weapons you had, the last thing you did before you left was pull up your dark hood over your head.

The air in Hell’s Kitchen was cool as an inky darkness had fallen over the sky, illuminated only by the light pollution spilling out of New York City. You sat crouched on a fire escape, one you’d had to wrestle with a pull-down ladder in order to get up on to. It provided you the perfect vantage point to watch what was happening below. You held a small digital camera in your hand, nothing special since you weren't exactly rolling in cash, however it took better quality pictures than your phone did. you weren't exactly sure why you were collecting photos of the criminal rings you had been tipped off to, or what you may use them for, but it made you feel like you were doing something.

Down below, you were watching 5 men interact. One of these was the guy who’s name you’d been given, with a possible connection to Daniel: That was Alex Peters, a relatively short man with a shaved head and tattoos littering his large, muscular arms and seeping on to his neck. Typically exactly what you’d expect from some sort of intimidating muscle man for a gang. Great, You thought, you weren't exactly looking forward to trying to get information from him.

The others seemed to be a mix of associates of Alex and another group. They were discussing something in tones too hushed for you to be able to make out what they were saying, but considering the fact they were a bunch of criminals attached to everything from drugs to murder, you’d hazard a guess that it wasn’t anything good.

They stood within a half decrepit building, either a warehouse or an old multstorey car park of which only metal bones remained, You weren't sure, but either way the damage, which was presumably a result of The Incident, made for a great hotspot for criminal activities, but also thankfully allowed you a great view from your vantage point.

Alex started to split from the rest of the pack, and your attention peaked, quickly placing away your camera into the small over shoulder bag you had, standing yourself up, a little, in preparation.

He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, shouting back to the others whilst he walked in the opposite direction to where they were headed towards a car trunk.

He shouted something incomprehensible, and you started to move. your footsteps light and you shimmied yourself back down the ladder you’d used to climb up in the first place. you could hear your own heart beating loudly in your ears, your chest thudding as you tried to control your breath before approaching this man. For somebody with the ability to manipulate somebody else’s emotions, you sure could struggle with your own sometimes.

You pulled your hood over your head even further, more as a comfort action than anything else. Alex had rounded the corner of a half broken down wall, You watching the light from his cigarette as you circled round in the shadows, crouching hidden behind a large metal waste bin as you ran over and over in your head what was about to happen. You would approach as quickly as possible, the minute he turned the opposite direction and then… Well you hoped that some muscle memory from your far too few kickboxing lessons and the somewhat unpredictable emotional manipulation powers would come into clutch in the moment.

In the distance, there was the loud sound of the other men, clattering of metal as they looked through their trunk and laughed together, but you couldn’t hear that. The world around had slipped away, a dull pressure building in your ears that made everything around your seem slightly slower, it built further as Alex Peters pulled his old phone from his pocket, his attention now turned away from your direction, and the fullness in your ears seemed to suddenly pop, and then everything was moving fast again; too fast.

In a swift movement, you stood to your feet, and gliding steps took you suddenly right to where Alex stood. He started to turn towards you, a breath of an almost word leaving his mouth as he instinctively raised his arm to push you away, but you stepped back, and threw your knee up quickly, your full body weight behind you as you jutted it into his stomach, winding him.

“What the F-” Alex’s breathless words came out quickly, but you couldn’t have him alerting the other men to your presence, because then you’d seriously be screwed, so you quickly reached your hand out to his shoulder, and let an intense jolt of fear out of yourself.

The man before you went rigid, confusion seeming to pass his face before a look of terror enveloped it. You had felt scared more than enough times in your life, and still carried enough of that around to pull it from yourself and throw it into him. So that’s what you did.

A continuous pressure of terror sent between two minds, and soon it was easy enough for you to grip him harder, bringing your other hand to his opposite shoulder, shoving him back against the brick wall.

“Alex Peters.” your voice came out more gruff than you’d ever normally hear yourself sound. It was laced with anger, and presumably adrenaline, but you had to keep it quiet. His stuck wide eyes darted back and forth between yours and the vice-like grip of your hands. He seemed to try to speak, but was unable to, so you continued. “I’m going to give you a name. And you are going to tell me what you know.”

He just looked at you, so you moved your hand to his throat, reaching deeper within yourself to channel more intense feelings into him. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead he gave a quick nod, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead.

“Daniel, Daniel Johnson. Do you kno-” you couldn’t finish your sentence as your adrenaline fueled trance was suddenly broken by the clashing sound you heard from just past the wall. you whipped your head towards the sound. Your concentration was broken, your mind losing its grip on the channelling emotions for just a moment. But it was long enough for Alex Peters to regain some of his composure, clearly finding his voice enough to shout out, and push you backwards, causing you to stumble over your own legs.

Your eyes were back on him just in time to see his still shaking fist coming towards you, ringing in your ears a moment later as you were too late to fully avoid his hand connecting with the side of your temple. you doubled over for a moment, and suddenly the nerve endings in the front of your face exploded in pain, his knee having connected directly with your nose. you leant back against the metal you originally hid behind, the coolness aiding the heat burning through you. You mustered up the adrenaline to lift yourself up, going after him.

However, as your fingers were just grasping his jacket to pull him backwards, your eyes focused ahead and saw that the other men were now approaching. your fuzzy mind had only enough time to pull into focus one word; Shit.

All of a sudden, with the distant sound of a soft thud, there was another figure standing before you. In the dim light, it seemed like just a shadow of a man. But all of a sudden, one of the men was on the floor, and the others were now focused on a new target.

The new development didn’t keep your attention long though, with the others now running to throw punches at the shadow figure, you could turn back to Alex and throw your arms at him again.

You grabbed his forearm, and let your mind kick into action in a way that was becoming more practised, more perfected. you threw your body weight at him, stumbling you both back against the brick wall, Alex’s back thudding roughly against it at which he let out a small cry.

“Daniel Johnson, tell me.” Your voice was rushed, desperation sneaking through into your tone, your need for answers burning at your already gravelly throat. His eyes however were focused to his right, where over his shoulder, the other men he’d been with were either choosing to run or being beaten to the ground. His fabricated terror seemingly having found a new perpetrator in the shadow man. And he fought back against you, clearly desperate to join his fellow cowards in escape. You were pushed backwards once again, your smaller frame at your disadvantage, and for a moment your breath caught in your throat, the flash of dark metal catching your eye, the gun in Alex’s hand being lifted up towards you, but almost instantly, Alex disappeared from before you.

You could feel your shaky breaths coming back, faster than usual, the quickened beats of your heart in your ears at full volume again. The gun was gone from Alex’s hand when you looked back to him, and instead he was being hit swiftly around the head with it, knocking him sideways. you watched as the shadow of a man grabbed Alex by the neck, his other hand clasped into a fist, quickly connecting with the side of Alex’s temple. Once. Twice. A third hit, and Alex’s eyes had fallen closed, his body grew limp, and it fell to the floor as the man released his hold on his neck.

For a moment you just stood there, watching the back of the man clad all in black, your quick and shallow breaths seemingly mirroring his as his tight shoulders heaved up and down in steady rhythm. For a moment, he just stood there also. Still, unmoving.

Slowly, he turned around to face you. You weren’t sure how you were meant to feel, having seen this man just take out 5 or more men in the space of a couple minutes, standing alone in an alleyway with him, but the large amount of adrenaline was clearly still coursing through your veins because you didn’t take much notice to how you should feel.

What you did feel in that moment, though, was a deep seated rage. you hadn’t the functioning brain power in that moment to ponder whether that emotion was bubbling up inside of you or flooding out of the man before you.

You watched him as he seemed to consider you for a moment, his head twitched to the side, and you tried to study him also, but the majority of his face was covered by black cloth. You took a momentary glance over his all black attire, the thin material splayed across his thick torso severely lacking in protection. Before he had the chance to say anything, the thick and red hot rage was clawing at her throat to be verbalised.

“What the hell.” Your voice was gravelly, pitched low as you stood in some sort of standoff with this shadow of a man. You couldn’t see his facial expression, only the slight tick in his jaw as he slowly cocked his head in the other direction.

“Excuse me?” His voice was deep. It was rough and came from deep in his chest, which was still rising and falling in rapid respiration. You simply narrowed your eyes at him, reasonable thought and any sense of self preservation clearly out of the window with the adrenaline still coursing through your veins.

“I said, what the hell, man” You lifted a hand to your hair, roughly pushing away the wisps of it that had fallen in front of your face. “I was just about to- well, whatever, but you jump in here and ruin it.” Your voice was somewhat hectic.

With Alex Peters having run off, your chance of getting some more information about Daniel had gone with him, and at that moment, all of your negative feelings about that outcome were being filtered and thrown straight at the man before you. It seemed those feelings were mostly anger.

His lips seemed to press into an even more grim line, as he shook his head in a movement ever so slight, it may have been a subconscious reflex in his disagreement.

“If I hadn’t jumped in when I did then you’d most likely be dead right now.” He stated matter of factly, causing you to scoff.

“I can handle myself just fine, thank you.” Your hands rested upon your hips, trying to hide the way they still shook slightly from the man before you, an attempt to exude confidence, despite the way your heart rate was still racing.

“I’m not sure I would call having a gun pointed to your head, handling yourself, exactly.” Although his lips remained in a line, his voice still grim, it gained the slightest lilt of teasing to it, and flames of annoyance built up in your chest, escaping in the way of a groan of exasperation.

“I would have been perfectly fine, without you showing up and chasing away my- That guy.” Words flew from your mouth a little quicker than you could filter them, realising you probably shouldn’t be telling details of your plans to the stranger in front of you.

“Sure you would.” His voice and the feelings that flew off of him held no ounce of truth. “You need to be more careful, what are you doing out here trying to talk to these guys?” His head cocked to the side once against, an almost questioning taunt to his positioning.

His near chastising tone brought a laugh from your lips.

“What’s it to you?” You narrowed your eyes at him, taking a small step back from him, looking him up and down from clothed face down to a tough black boot, and it clicked for you where you'd seen this shadow man before. You drew in a sharp breath.

The Man in Black.

You’d seen the papers as you walked past the stands, you’d seen the news and heard local radio all talking about this Man in Black. A vigilante sort, who seemed to be travelling around Hell’s Kitchen and regularly beating the shit out of people.

“Well, I’m just trying to-” He started again, less gravel to his voice now he seemed to have calmed a bit, but you cut him off before he could impart his opinion on to you.

“Stop it. I know who you are” He stilled for a moment, taking you in as you purposely rolled your shoulders back, standing a little taller before him, still feeling those sparks of rage flickering. “The Man in Black” You added emphasis to his given title with the lilt of sarcasm in your voice clear.

“I don’t need to take advice from some vigilante, going around and spreading violence. You have no idea what I’m doing, who I am,” For some reason you hadn’t quite realised, a lot of vitriol was building into your voice as you addressed the man in black. Thinking of the many people you’d heard of him having fought. The people he’d hurt. How was he to know if the people he fought deserved it? What if it was somebody just caught up with the wrong people. Someone like Daniel. “You’ve screwed things up for me here tonight, I have a banging headache from being punched, and also knee-d actually, in the face, and now no information, so thank you very much, Man in Black, but I think this is where I’ll be bidding you goodnight.

His lips parted slightly, which was just visible to you under the dim glow of distant street lights down the alley. It looked like he was about to speak, but before he could you heaved your bag further up your shoulder, a wince as you jolted your head with your movement, and spun on your heel.

“You’re hurt…” His gruff voice trailed off, but you simply waved a hand in his direction, exhaustion suddenly pulling at your mind, and knowing vehemently that you did not need saving by some guy in a black mask.

You continued to retrace your steps towards the ladder that led you back to your vantage point and a way home, empty handed. However, the deep voice stopped you again whilst you were only a few metres away.

“Wait.” You tilted your head slightly back in his direction. “The name you said, Daniel Johnson was it-”

Anger shot through your veins, your voice coming out as more of a growl. “Don’t say that name” You simply said, watching as the man in black stood still, his lips still parted in question. But you simply turned and walked away, having had enough of the night.

Your legs dragged heavy beneath you, feeling like logs as you battled each step. Now the adrenaline was wearing off, every step felt more difficult, and exhaustion was truly trying to pull you under the whole way back to your flat.

As you walked down dark back alleys and hidden streets, you tried not to think about the fact that you’d had a gun pulled on you this evening, the cool metal of it still a phantom feeling against the skin of your head. Tried not to think about the fact that you could have died, and that for all of that, you still had no new information, thanks to the Man in Black.

A couple of blocks from the location of your night's altercation, you paused, a heavy stone in your chest as you lent your head back against the cold and rough brick of an alley wall. A couple of shaky breaths escaped you, and much to your dismay, now that you were alone, surrounded by nobody’s emotions but your own, a tear slid from between your lashes down and over your cheekbone. You shook your head, and pushed off the wall with a kick of your feet, desperate to get yourself home.

You pulled your jacket closer around your body, your hood still tight over your head, and walked quickly through the darkened and unsafe streets of Hell’s Kitchen at night, in the direction of your apartment. You kept your head down, trying your best to avoid any trouble. You didn’t think you had it in you for another fight of any kind this evening.

You weren’t aware, however, that were you to encounter one, the man in black would be right there with you.

#matt murdock #fan fiction #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x oc #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock fanfic #here goes nothing #sending this out into the ether

49 notes · View notes