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p1utofairy · 7 months

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PAC: “are you down to be a distraction, baby?” 🐅🖤🪄🌟

• how will your person approach you?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i’ve had trouble uploading this ugh it wasn’t coming out how i wanted but here we go <3 feels like it’s been forever 🥲 enjoy!

pile 1 ↓

“could you blame me for needing you? you’re the reason i got a weakness, oh, no you drive me crazy, still that's my baby. can’t get enough of you. baby, it's somethin' that you do.”

hiii pile 1! i'm immediately hearing that your person is enamored by you. they love the way you walk, the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you smell…quite literally everything. i see them staring at you a lot, it might not be obvious at first but they’re gonna try to feel you out/see if your receptive to their vibe. they’re like a cat lurking in the shadows i’m hearing. more than likely, you won’t even be focused on getting into a relationship or actively looking for a partner before they pop up on your radar; your person will just come to you. i see them coming up to you in a slightly crowded or busy environment and saying something sly but it doesn’t come out the way they intended lol they might stutter over their words and then kick themselves over it later. awww it’s cute, you get them flustered and nervous. you may not think that you’re intimidating (actually i’m picking up that some of you might be a bit reserved/quiet) but your presence shakes them to the core. it’s like all their calmness goes out the window when they’re face to face with you. you get their heart racing, palms sweaty and mind wandering but they’ll try to put on their brave face and act like they’re not having a whole meltdown inside. LMFAOOOOO they won’t even know what to do with themselves, you’ve got them down bad. i just heard “i’ve fallen and i can’t get up!” lol i think this is what’s gonna get the ball rolling on this new beginning with them; your humor. even if they don’t have the smoothest delivery, you won’t hold it against them you’ll just keep the conversation going and vibe with them. they’ll love this about you…how non-judgmental you are. they can be themselves around you 🥹 and as you two get more comfortable around each other, you’ll both be able to open up and talk about everything under the sun. awww so cute pile 1!

pile 2 ↓

“i'll be your groupie, baby. ‘cause you are my superstar. i’m your number one fan, give me your autograph. sign it right here on my heart.”

pile 2…when i say your person’s eyes/eye contact is gonna make your knees BUCKLE 😮‍💨 whew! my goodness, you’ll be squeezing your thighs together lol. this person is very forward and blunt, it might catch you off guard cause you wouldn't think that when you first see them. i feel like they’re very calm and collected on the outside but inside of them is a flame waiting to be sparked…and you’re the match. they'll approach you in a calculated and meticulous way i’m hearing, they have it all planned out. they might even make a cute gesture/treat you to something that will make you go “awww” internally. i feel like your body will be very responsive to them…like when you see them you might freeze and panic lol they'll think it’s cute. conversing with them is going to be so easy, you'll be able to tell that they're soaking up every word that you're saying. this is hottttt pile 2. when they first lay their eyes on you, they’ll just know they have to have you. you make their heart nearly skip a beat. some of you make look young for your age/have a baby face cause when you’re talking to them, they’ll be thinking about how cute you are. even the way you speak makes them go crazy 😩 just know that your first interaction with them will be living in their mind rent-free lol.

pile 3 ↓

“you make the confusion go all away from this cold and messed up world. i am in love with you, you set me free! i can't do this thing called life without you here with me.”

pile 3 i gotta start by saying you and your person are absolutely adorkable. lmaooo that was so corny but i feel like you two will be very silly with each other from day 1. you both share some similar interests — possibly watch the same shows/like the same music…something of that nature and that’s how your person is going to shoot their shot. shot clock by ella mai just came to mind, “twenty-four seconds, yeah, you better not stop. you got twenty-four seconds, can you beat the shot clock?” lmfao they might feel like the pressure is on with you. you won’t necessarily be pressuring them, but they’ll feel like if they don’t make their move now someone else might swoop in and grab your attention. they don’t wanna waste your time or time in general, and trust me when i say that they’re gonna put a lot of effort into getting your attention and keeping you entertained. you and/or your person may have some gemini placements. you'll think that they're very cute and sweet <3 they have little quirks about them that you'll pick up on and think to yourself “awww i love them 🥹” very much peter parker vibes like yes peter might be a bit clumsy, awkward and quirky but he's an absolute sweetheart (and heartthrob) so you'll really love spending time with this person pile 3.

#pick a card #pac #love reading #pac reading #pick a pile #intuitive reading #tarot reading #tarot #energy reading #love pac #pick a picture #pick a card reading #adriana lima #irina shayk #monica bellucci #p1utofairy

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nxathyx · 9 months

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Bsd boys with a sassy reader

Chuuya Nakahara x gn!reader, Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader, Nikolai Gogol x Gn!reader, Fyodor Dostoyevski x Gn!reader, Sigma x Gn!reader, Akutagawa Ryuunoske x gn!reader

More so with a reader who is good at insulting, back talking ect.

Trigger warnings: insults, cursing, a guy trying to hit on/harras reader but they pop and lock (girlboss besties), mentions of su!cide (on Dazais part, jealousy, mentions of alcohol and clubs/bars, slander, ooc, Let Me know if I missed anything

Chuuya Nakahara

°HE FUCKING ADORES HOW SASSY YOU ARE!!

°he wouldn't admit it but finds it so attractive and straight up admires you when you put someone in their place and or stand up for yourself

°would definitely praise you for it

°if he wasn't as prideful as he is mf would straight up be on his knees worshiping you and your words of degrading

°if y'all ever argued it'd just be you being your sassy ass self and him being like 🤨🙄😃😧😰 (progressively regretting his decisions)

Let's set the scene first shall we? You and Chuuya were currently in a club/bar. You were just engaging in a casual conversation with your boyfriend sipping on your alcoholic beverage of choice (or literally anything if you don't drink). You were having a swell time just enjoying that Chuuya finally had some free time from work, that is until this man came up to you, he wasn't necessarily bad looking, but he was very average and basic to say the least. Chuuya glanced at the male but not speaking anything of it.

"hey, cutie~ how about I show you a fun time, just you, and me alone in bed~

You didn't even spare him a glance, replying bluntly and shortly

"fuck off, im not interested"

The man looked at you with a smirk, totally ignoring Chuuyas presence. Nakahara felt disappointed, disgusted even by the mere nerve that guy had, but sighed and continued to sip on his wine

"a little bit of attitude I see, that's such a turn on baby.."

It was quite clear the individual was intoxicated, you finally glanced at him with a sigh

"shame your such a turn off, with that cheap ass target shirt" (I love target don't come for me😭😭

The male got rather angered by how you spoke to him and were barely even batting an eye at him. Chuuya was grinning just watching the interaction watching you insult this lowlife with no mercy

"aw, come on.. Don't be like that, let me give you a fun experience and a night to remember"

"a night to remember is when you'll fuck yourself on a chainsaw you pathetic lowlife, get your horny ass together, get a proper job, focus on yourself and be respectful that way you might actually get some bitches in your life"

To say the least, the man wasn't too happy, his hand snaking around your waist, your natural instinct of self defence kicking in as you kick him in the shin

"what was that for you bitch?!"

He asked, seeming pissed of at you, at this point Chuuya has had enough and stood up, standing between you and the guy

"can you piss off? They're not interested nor available, jackass"

The fucker simply ignored Chuuya and tried again

At that point Chuuya got fed up with him, slapping him and leaving the place. As soon as you two got home he was by your side making sure you're alright <3

Dazai Osamu

°he lives for your sassiness

°imagine if you both work at the detective agency and Kunikida is scolding him and then you just back talk, not even bothering to look at them

°motherfucker Was like awooga awooga let me rearrange your insides babygirl😻😻

°definetly finds that really fucking attractive

°will proudly stand right beside you like "yes. That's my s/o. Yes, they're a bitch, and I love them"

You and Osamu were currently in the agency office, you were filling in some papers, whilst Dazai was getting scolded by Kunikida like most days. You weren't paying much attention to why he was getting told off, but you assumed it was because of one of his daily shenanigans, like jumping into a river mid mission, or giving Kunikida fake facts and or advice causing pages from Kunikidas notebook being ripped or scratched out by the ink. After a few more scolding words from Kunikida, you're boyfriend went behind you, hiding behind your office chair, you hummed a little "Hm?" as Dazai proceeded to explain that Kunikidas scolding is pointless cause he hasn't done anything wrong, however most of it was muffled due to Kunikidas continued scolding over the desk, it was insufferable to hear as you turned to Kunikida

"can you respectfully shut up?"

Kunikida just looked at you completely surprised, Dazai on the other hand had a grin, falling on his knees in an almost comedic manner before you asking when it's his time to hear such degrading words from you

Nikolai Gogol

°does his silly goofy little grins

°pulls pranks on Decay members and uses you to do all the "explaining"

°annoys you as much as possible using his ability just to see you get all sassy

You were currently laying on the couch, in the living room, it was pretty early in the morning and you haven't ate breakfast yet. You were home alone, your partner doing god knows what, and you preferred to not know. You stood up from the couch to go make yourself some breakfast, you were in the mood for something sweet, so you decided on pancakes, grabbing butter to melt on the pan later, milk, flour, sugar, and.. You just looked at the content of the fridge, confused why it lacked the eggs, you could've sworn there was at least half a carton left yesterday, you sighed realising you either have to go to the store or just make something else, you sighed softly once more looking into the fridge, grabbing some jam, putting the flour and sugar back, before sliding a bit on your socks to put the milk and butter back in the fridge, just looking even more confused due to the eggs suddenly appearing, realising it was probably the jester playing tricks on you, grabbing the eggs quite quickly so they don't dissappear once more. You placed all the ingredients on the counter once more, beginning to make the batter, you were about to pour the batter on the pan, before noticing a small yellow portal, taking the pan in with a red gloved hand, sighing once more you said a little.

"I'll chop your dick off and dismember your head with that pan if you don't give it back"

Nikolai poked his head out a bit with a smug grin, holding the pan up, by the center but instead of the handle, causing him to burn his hand and getting a bit of the melted butter on his palm, dropping the pan onto the floor with a loud sound of metal hitting something. Although the sound wasn't pleasant at all you got to laugh at your boyfriend for being a little stupid fucking idiot

Fyodor Dostoyevski

°THIS FUCKER IS SO SMUG ABOUT IT

°if you ever Insult Dazai he'll give you like 5 countries

°if he truly loves you that is

°if not he'll Stil probably find it amusing, you might even get a little giggle out of him

°would definetly be sassy towards you as well

Fyodor was currently in his office (discord mod cave) , eyeing like 5 fucking monitors at the same time.

"Fedya, come out of your rat infested room already"

You said a bit irritated by the fact he's been there for like a week, not even bothering to come out for basic necessities, at this point you were even wondering where the hell he pisses— not important. It seems he has ignored you calling out for him. You opened the door, you wanted to ruffle his hair but just looked at that and almost gagged

"you look like an oiled up pan.. You better fucking wash that, I doubt even lice would want to be there"

And after saying that you left the room, leaving a confused Fyodor, who just sat there processing what the fuck you just said

Sigma

°okay Mr 3-4x bullcut would be nervous asf

°like he's scared you'll end up in a fight from the way you talk with others

°finds it humouring if you insult Gogol though

°would love hearing you insult everyone, in private

You were standing next to a machine in the casino, leaning your side against it until a fairly attractive female came up to you

"are you going to keep standing here and hogging the machine so no one can use it? Or will you move your damn self some where else?"

You were a bit stunned by the sudden hostility but slightly impressed and even amused

"i know damn Well your not talking to me with that 3$ wig your wearing right now, and don't even get me started on those earrings and necklace your wearing, like girl, did you grab those of a Christmas tree?"

The girl turned around on her heel, a few minutes later the number you had got called into the managers office. You walk in to notice Sigma trying to look stoic and not at all nervous, making you snicker a bit. Sigma turned to the woman and told her she's free to leave and he'll take it from here, the girl gave you a smirk as she left as if she just won millions, making you almost choke trying not to laugh

"dear.. Please stop being rude to my clients—"

"well your clients are bitches"

The discussion continued for a bit ending in you nuzzling your head against Sigmas neck as he continued to do his paperwork.

Akutagawa Ryuunoske

°this man is as sassy as you like oml

°don't say anything about Dazai, Gin or Chuuya though, or just people he generally respects

°feel free to talk as much shit as you want about Atsushi though

°if you ever tell Higuchi off he'll find it very amusing

°y'all definetly try to out sass each other

You and Aku were currently laying in bed, you were talking about someone at your work place that has been annoying you lately. You were insulting them freely, not bothered by the fact Akutagawa was trying to fall asleep, not until he told you to shut up, which ended in endless sassy comments going back and forth between the two of you as well as you a bit curled over in laughter and Akutagawa trying to hold back a snicker

I nnot proud of this but spent too much fucking time writing this and didn't even finish 💀💀

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gayelderstourney · 9 months

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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Bob Zanotto/Helmut Fullbear:

THEY LITERALLY MADE MR CRY THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY FINALLY GET TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME.

they are married in canon and are epic and amazing. they had sad canon events where bob thought helmut was dead for like 30 years or something but helmut WASN'T dead his brain was still alive and they are reunited in the game first by way of stealing an evil dictator's body and then later on they put helmut's brain in a ball as a temporary fix while they go out to find his body which has been frozen in ice. the game forces you to walk through bob's memory of saying his vows at their wedding ceremony and it's seriously some of the most romantic and heartwarming shit i've ever heard, especially "just when i thought i was turning to seed, you made me bloom again" like my god. i love them

they're gay and old as hell!!!! there's a level dedicated to their wedding!!!

Helmut is voiced by Jack Black and is currently a brain in a ball, and Bob knows him so well that the mental image of him in his drunken mind says things Bob KNOWS the real Helmut would never say. Also Helmut is temporarily in the body of a guy voiced by Elijah Wood-

Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio:

well you see they used to be friends but were on opposite sides of the great turf war. cuttlefish gets a 14 year old to go stop octavios army. also they argue in splatoon 3 which is just part of the 100+ year divorce arc BUT AT THE FINAL BOSS IN THE JAPANESE VERSION THEY SHARE THE ICONIC LINE THAT CUES THE CALAMARI INKANTATION AND IN THE ENGLISH CUTTLEFISH TELLS OCTAVIO TO "HIT IT" AND START THE MUSIC AND MUSIC IS SO IMPORTANT TO THE SPLATOON UNIVERSE YAAAAA ik its grasping but its lovers to enemies

Literally I have seen so many people call this old man yaoi.

Old men divorce!!!

They're old men who made their divorce the problem of every young person in their lives <3. 100 years ago during the Great Turf War between inklings and octarians, Craig and Octavio were the chosen ambassadors of their respective species. They got along well, but unfortunately found themselves on opposite sides of the war. During one of the battles Craig shot Octavio in the heart. The inlkings won the war and the octarians were forced underground. For years afterward both men grew bitter towards each other, and eventually Octavio attacked the new Squidbeak Splatoon (a group of secret agents recruited by Craig). Octavio lost both times and got imprisoned in a giant snow globe (and Craig calls him cute). In the latest game Octavio got over his hatred for Inklings (Craig's species) and used his flying mech to help defeat the BBEG of the game. After the final fight, Craig said something to the effect of 'that old rascal turned out to be not so bad!'.

Alright ok hear me out! These two old men have fought in wars for their races against each other and have the craziest pathetic old man homoerotic tension ever. They like, went from at least respecting each other before the war and then they were forced to fight each other and then when Cuttlefish's side won, Octavio went underground like a pathetic lil wet cat and later on he kidnapped Cuttlefish because of game related reasons and both of them still have way too much homoerotic tension!!! And then Octavio gets owned and then in the second game Octavio decides that "Hey actually, lets kidnap Cuttlefish's granddaughter" and the old man isnt even there cause hes busy being a pathetic old man in the under-underground!!! And in the third game they go fron rival/enemies to reluctantly working together to save the world from actual extinction bc some durry bitch wants to cover it in fuzzy ooze and like, both of them have so much old man ship potential and just- theyre still pining for each other even after over a 100 years man,,,,

I personally headcanon Cap'n Cuttlefish as homophobic, but I see the ship a lot and think it's funny.

They’re both at least like 125 probably a bit older, they are so divorced, like peak lovers to enemies back to lovers, Cap’n Cuttlefish calls Octavio cute in Splatoon one immediately after you rescue him from Octavio kidnapping him? So dysfunctional, so gay, so old

They fought in the Great Turf War which was said to be over 100 years ago, Capn Cuttlefish was, well, a captain I believe (he had some sort of rank even if he wasn't a captain, like he led a battle that's singled out in the sunken scrolls of the first game). they act so divorced in the singleplayer mode like they cannot stop insulting each other specifically but octavio always comes back and like kidnaps or insults captain cuttlefish it's so. and when the great zapfish gets stolen in splatoon 3 captain cuttlefish is like "it's the octarians again i know it" like divorced behavior. also it wasn't this time and octavio gets super weird about it. maybe you should stop using children as props in your drama though.

my favorite war crime divorcees <3

They basically are friends to enemies to lovers. Both of them fought in a war that hurt DJ Octavio so bad he can’t become an inkling.

friends -> enemies -> lovers. what more is there to say

they are soooo divorced

they were so gay their breakup ended a war

Craig Cuttlefish got sucked dry by a bear

they got divorced but then they got remarried . they fuckinf hate eachother but they also make out sloppy style and i do not know how that works because neither of them have mouths in their swim form which they are both permanently stuck in. love wins but also loses at the same time with these fucking losers

they are sooo divorced omg. istg they were dating when they were younger and then war n shit happened and now theyre bitter exes who probably still make out sometimes. Makes it so much funnier that theyre old ass men (both over 100!) and Cuttlefish has grandkids

They were on opposite sides of a war and still fell in love

#im so sorry psychonauts fans but cuttletavio had the most submissions. so.#polls #round 1 #gay elders tourney #tournament poll #psychonauts #helmut fullbear #bob zanotto #splatoon #craig cuttlefish #dj octavio #cuttletavio

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cuubism · 1 year

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unhinged dreamling modern au #409430950

the bachelor

dream is bribed, threatened, and/or physically dragged by his ankle into being on a dating show by death and desire (for very different reasons, death just wants him to be happy and is very very desperate at this point, desire's just fucking with him again), and needless to say dream is not the target candidate for this. at all. sure he's pretty and rich but he's also a complete asshole. this is destined to go poorly.

(unless you're the show's producers who just want an unhinged television trainwreck that keeps people in their seats, in which case it's fucking fantastic)

hob is also there as a contestant because he's bored, single, and always willing to do something stupid. everybody on the show is taking it seriously except for dream, who'd rather jump off a cliff than be here right now, and hob, who's just entertaining himself.

dream: this is stupid (hateful) hob: this is stupid (having the time of his life)

needless to say this whole thing is a disaster. normally contestants are clamoring for the 'bachelor's' attention but dream just keeps being an utter jerk to everyone, making them cry, and causing them to actually drop out of the show. contestants: "i'd rather die than be with you." dream: "glad we're finally on the same page." like. dream doesn't even have to actively eliminate people. they just eliminate themselves because he's so insufferable.

hob isn't put off, though, this whole thing is hilarious to him. dream tries scaring him off and hob just laughs like "oh you're so cute, this is great"

dream: i hope you die hob: you want me so bad it makes you look stupid

the more people drop out of the show the more time dream and hob end up spending together, by necessity. unfortunately for dream's sanity hob is actually very charming and fun and inexplicably good at getting dream to smile. they have at least one proper heart-to-heart and hob is so kind to him, and dream hates him soooo much for it.

(of course he actually likes him, and it's the worst thing that's happened to him, maybe ever. he's in agony. he wants off this ride, please. maybe he wants on a different ride ahem.)

so now hob's properly invested in this stupid game, he's like oh that wretched stick of a man is mine (literally nobody is challenging him but he's being super competitive about it anyway). all it really results in is dream being MORE of an asshole both to hob and to everybody else. (dream: one time i had a crush on this guy and i didn't know how to handle it so i just wrote him a letter saying get out of my tv show). and yet every week dream could eliminate hob from the show but he never does...

anyway soon enough literally every other contestant has dropped out of the show and it's JUST hob remaining and he basically wins by default. dream absolutely will not be beaten or outdone and is like fine hob i'll call your bluff. marry me if you're so committed to winning. hob's like, bet :) (see: always willing to do something stupid).

they do in fact get married because they're both incapable of conceding defeat. then they're like well. what do we do now...

dream: going to divorce me now and take half of my money? run with your spoils? hob: idk, are you going to divorce me and finally 'free yourself from the torment of my presence'? dream: *sniff* then you would win hob: then i bet i can stay in this relationship longer than you :) dream, gritting his teeth: bet

anyway they manage about two months before dream, perpetually in agony over how aggressively he's into hob, is like fine, i concede, i can't take it anymore. leave me if you want, take my money, i do not care, only free me from this pain. hob: so... i win? i get to choose the prize? dream, utterly defeated: whatever you want hob: okay! and he kisses him

#today i bring more nonsense #tomorrow the same #dreamling #also i've never watched the bachelor in my life

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missmielyhoran · 11 months

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Little Helpers

Harry needs a bit of help, and who's better than his two little gremlins...

90sRockstar!Harry × Reader

A/N- Happens wayyyyyyy long in the future, like at least 10 years after they meet. Harry and reader are in their mid 30s

Only Angel Masterlist // Masterlist

*****

It was your birthday.

And Harry was struggling.

You've been out in New York for last week or so for work while he has been staying home with kids.

To say they're pain in the ass is an understatement, but he made his bed (or hot tub), so he had to lay in it.

Harry was the "fun" parent, to say the least, cause he can't say no, and those gremlins even tho they're only four years old are way too good at getting things their way.

Meanwhile, you knew how to shut down something you knew they didn't need. Like the large Nerf gun, Harry got them in secret and then had to listen to you yell at him while those two giggled from the stairs in timeout.

But that wasn't the problem right now.

The problem was that the house was mess, the kitchen was mess, it was your birthday and he doesn't know how to cook, clean all at the same time while taking care of kids who are already running around in backyard.

It was times like these he was amazed by how his mother, and even you did everything so efficiently. Never once did he saw a thing out of place when you stayed with kids, and he had to go out.

(Maybe cause you made the kids clean up after themselves while he sees one look of their puppy eyes and melts)

He took a deep breath in and called for the kids, "Jack! Soph! come back inside" He yelled, which caught the twins' attention. Their little head snapped towards him, and soon enough, they were running in giggling still in their pjs.

Harry shook his head and walked back inside and saw them talking to themselves. They were literally each others best friends, always attached to the hip, partners in crime, and he hoped they're like this when they grow up.

"Kids, kids and kids!" He announced dramatically. Twins giggled again, "There is only two of us, dada. Why are you saying kids three times?" They looked at each other and laughed again at Harry's trying to be mad face.

"Hey smartasses listen to me." He flicked their head lightly, "It's your maa's birthday today"

The twins' eyes went wide, and then Soph jumped, screaming "birthday" making Harry laugh. "That means we will get cake?" Jack asked his dad.

"You will if you help me" Harry shrugged, "Whoever helps me out the most will get the bigger piece!" Harry said.

Twins looked at each other again and then their dad and nodded their head quickly, "I will help you" Jack said, "Me too" Soph said in tow.

"Well then, let's start with this room. Pick up all your toys and everything else and put them where they should be." He said, walking towards the kitchen sink. It was an open plan, so he could still see the kids while cleaning up the kitchen.

He looked at the clock, and it was still 4 hours left to your arrival. He could do it.

He hopes he can do it.

*****

Harry was surprised and amused when he looked up and saw two heaving toddlers sitting on the ground.

"Well done babies, you did such a great job" He said, squatting down to their level and kissing both of their heads.

"We know" They said together. Harry laughed at that cause even if the kids looked like him, their personality was yours. Sassy, witty and smart for their age.

"We put everything in different boxes so you could see who did more work, and my box is the most filled" Jackson said cockily and Soph rolled her eyes.

"I'm just going to steal more from dad's plate" she said without any care as much as Harry would like to think otherwise it was true. He lost his right to have his own food when he become father and he's okay with it (to certain level). Harry still very much amused with their banter over cake slice, goes to the kitchen, and fetches both of them their water bottles along with a bowl of fruits.

"Why don't you two drink some water and eat all those fruits and then come help me bake the cake?" Harry asked them immediately, getting nods as an answer from hungry babies.

He took out all the ingredients while the kids ate and arranged them, so it was easier for kids to "help" him.

Soon enough, they were all done with their snacks and were standing on the large wooden stool beside Harry, watching him make the cake. Both of them have large chefs hat on and custom matching aprons Harry got for all of them for when they would cook together on Sunday mornings.

He was in the middle of cracking egg when Sophie started to fuss, "Dada I want to do it too!" She said, pouting.

Harry brought the bowl in front of her and stood behind her holding her hand, which had egg in it, and then cracked it open and put it in the bowl. Sophie giggled, finding amusement in cracking eggs, which made Jack feel left out so Harry did the same with him too.

The kids helped him as much as they could, with bringing him stuff, and finally, the cake was in oven.

Jack and Soph sat in front of the oven watching the cake like hawk cause in their words, "we want it to be perfect like maa makes it". Harry cleaned the rest of the kitchen.

"C'mon babies bath time." He announced which much to kids displeasure meant they had to move away from the oven. Harry literally had to drag them upstairs with Soph in his left arm and Jack in right.

"You two are getting heavy for me to pick you up and roam around" he said, groaning at the feeling of back ache rising.

"No, you're just getting old, dada." The twins laughed. Harry rolled his eyes at them and flicked their heads.

"In the bath. Your maa will have my head if you two are dirty" He said, starting the warm bath of them.

*****

There have been times Harry felt proud of himself, and right now, as he watches the clean house, clean kids, and a not burned cake, he feels proud of himself.

Kids were watching TV in the living room when they heard the car pull up in the driveway, and everyone was set on their mission.

Harry quickly lit up all the candles. Meanwhile, kids stood in the position near the door with paper confetti in their hands to throw at you.

Meanwhile, you feel exhausted as you get out of the car. The fashion week of this year was hectic. You were so busy you didn't even remember it was your birthday until you opened he door.

Colorful confetti flew on your face as you heard "happy birthday" in unison. Your kids stood near the door with the biggest smile on their faces with your husband behind them with cake in his hand.

"Omg, thank you so much my little munchkin" you said, sitting down on your knees and pulling twins into tight hugs. All exhaustion and stress were lost as you saw your favorite people.

"Hey, I'm also here." You heard Harry whine, making three of you laugh.

"C'mon maa, we want cake!" Jack said, first making you laugh. You kissed both of their cheeks and stood up, walking towards your husband.

You pecked his lips and smiled, "Thank you, baby." you said with a warm smile matching his. "My absolute pleasure angel" He said, kissing you again.

"Those gremlins helped me, or I was ready to have a panic attack this morning," he said, chuckling.

You brought the cake to the kitchen, Harry stood beside you his arms around your waist, and kids stood on the stool on your other side.

"Maa make a wish!" Soph said. You nodded and wished for your family to stay just like this forever and blew the candles. Jack and Soph clapped while Harry leaned down and kissed your cheeks.

Cake slices were cut and put in plate for all four of you and as you and Harry stood in the kitchen with your head on his shoulder watching your kids banter over who's slice is bigger you never felt more content.

This is all you ever wanted.

*****

I think they're my favorite couple after Harry and Autumn.

Taglist- @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @lomlhstyles @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515 @yeehawbrothers @sleutherclaw @ikea2-0 @thechaoticjoy @astridcommings @grapejuicebluesrry @gxbiqs

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dwindlinghaze · 9 months

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HIII YOU’RE SO AWESOME! I was wondering if I could request a extroverted introvert!fem reader x introverted!Remus, where she is introverted and very sunshiny in public and remus is grumpy but he’s literally madly in love with her? like sarcastic, confident Remus is with this like bubbly and giggly girl and just a cutesie little story about them?

I hope this isn’t too much!

-Anon 🫶🫶

hi, lovelyy! thank you for requesting this! i loved the idea a lot and i hope you don't mind me writing r as girly and feminine :) 🫖👛🫧🪽🎀

sunshine and midnight rain

(remus lupin x reader)

contents : fluff, kissing, sweethearts in the sweetest love 😭🩷

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when he first saw you walking this morning with the brightest smile ever, he wanted to hold you and forget about everything in schedule today.

he saw you waving to a ravenclaw, blowing the girl a kiss as the two of you laughed. it was so adorable and heart warming. he couldn't believe it.

you plopped down next to him, greeting your boyfriend a good morning.

"morning, angel," he replied, kissing your head with a gentle yet firm pressure.

"how'd you sleep last night?" you asked, rubbing his cheeks softly.

"um good," he replied shortly. "would be better if you were with me but i'll survive," he smiled.

"oh rem, you can always ask me to be with you whenever you want okay?"

"i know, lovie," he replied, kissing you once more on your soft cheek.

when you two first started dating, it was a huge shock to the friend group. you two were the absolute opposite of each other and maybe that's why you two completed each other so well.

remus needs rays of golden sunshine, a beautiful princess-like girl whose heart is veiled with fresh daisies and soft hands to keep himself grounded while you needed those midnight rains to keep your flower field of your heart blooming continuously.

he remembered the first date you two had was on the most whimsical day ever. he laid out a picnic date for the two of you in the middle of a field of wild flowers.

when he saw you walking in from the door, his eyes were met with fleecy skin, sparkly eyes, light pink clothes, and a pure heart to tie them all together.

he couldn't believe it. such a dreamy girl wanted to be on a date with him!

he felt special. lucky. and best.

"you're absolutely stunning," he mumbled in awe as he saw you sitting down next to him, your soft skirt calmly hovering above his leg.

"remus, so are you," you said, smiling at him with a smile so sugary.

remus realised how quiet you were being. but he knew that he's not the cause of it. you were calm and peaceful, enjoying the soft winds surrounding you two.

"i made some food for us both, i hope you're hungry," he said, putting a good amount of food on to the plate he brought.

"mmm looks tasty," you beamed. "you must be a very good cook."

"i try," he smiled weakly. "i hope it isn't too bad, sorry if it is."

you took a portion of it, placing it on your mouth as you hummed in contentment. "it's delicious! do you cook a lot?" you asked.

"i help my mom sometimes, yeah," he blushed, squeezing your soft knuckles.

"oh that's so sweet of you!" you giggled.

he loves you. so very much. he has been looking for you since he first heard his mother reading a romance fairytale when he was a child.

of course he wasn't thinking of you at that very moment. but he was hoping to have a lovely fairytale, he's glad his hope was fulfilled by meeting you.

he knew at the first moment he landed eyes on you, you will wrap his fragile heart in the most precious and endless love. he wasn't mad about it, he knew he will always have you by his side and he can rely on you whenever.

despite his rough and grumpy exterior, inside his heart was painted with your colours of pearls: pale white, pink, and softly glowing.

his friends teased him about it.

"how can she make you so soft and puddly? you're like a stone with us," sirius groaned. they're best of friends. remus is familiar with sirius' hyperbole jokes.

remus didn't reply, he kept on reading.

"moony, what do you call a dark house with pink interior?" sirius asked, one of his jokes.

"hmm?" remus replied, unamused.

"a remus!" sirius roared with laughter, james laughing along as he patted sirius' back for his horrible joke.

usually after a full moon, remus wouldn't even break a smile. he physically couldn't. but ever since you're his, he smiled whenever you visited him at the infirmary.

even james told you about it. "our grumpy remus smiles more often now that he met you," said the boy when you returned from the hospital wing to eat breakfast.

"really?" your heart warmed. you loved making people smile. it felt like you had accomplished something so special. although it's not a hard thing for people to do when you're around.

"yup. he usually sulks around the room after his furry little problem but now he looks... healthier and more alive somehow," sirius said.

"i'm so glad. i think he deserves the best of the best."

at first remus' friends were hesitant about your relationship, afraid that remus' cold demeanour would gloom down your shine but it never did. if anything your shine had brightened him up.

his friends were grateful and happy for remus. they know you're the perfect girl for him. a big part of loving someone else is to love yourself first. and you did that both so wonderfully.

remus isn't scared of you not accepting him for his lycanthropy. though he does have a fear of hurting you one day. that doesn't stop him from loving you and being open to you about himself.

he knew you're open minded. with your bold beliefs of equal rights in society. he wasn't scared. he wasn't in pain. after all the awful things the universe had given him, a lovely sweet girl is there, making the life he has bearable again.

the first night after he told you about his lycanthropy, you wanted to stay for him. but he insisted on you to not to do that and meet him the next morning instead.

no, he wasn't embarrassed of his appearance right after the transformation. his scars don't heal overnight. he physically looked the same the night before and the morning after, except that he's more relaxed the next morning as for the slumber really helped.

he just doesn't want you to be tired. he wanted you to sleep well. having the rest an angel always needs. of course you wanted to be with him before and after. but you know better than to go against him during his weakest point.

you see him the next morning, bringing a bag of chocolates and croissants.

you placed the bag on the bedside table, reaching for his hand instead. he was still asleep, eyes fluttering cause he's dreaming. you caressed his rough and scarred fingers softly, humming a tune.

remus woke up in the most peaceful way ever. seeing you beside him, playing with his fingers. "morning, princess."

you looked over at him, smiling so big. "oh morning, my remus," his heart fluttered when he heard the nickname. he is yours. forever yours.

"you're here, darlin'."

"i am, i brought breakfast for you," you grabbed the bag of chocolate and croissants, opening them.

he sat up, reaching for the pastry but you pushed his hand away, making him frown in confusion. "i will do the work for you. you've been doing so much to me and i want to do this in return," you giggled. "sit back and relax."

"you don't have to," he said.

"i know. i would never do this to anyone except you."

remus smiled at that, opening his mouth to let you feed him. "you're such a doll. you're so good to me and sometimes i feel like i don't deserve this treatment... i'm not good enough."

"rem, don't worry about that," you smiled at him softly, wiping away the drop of chocolate on his chin. "you have to love and accept yourself. i'm here to be with you all along the journey. i want you to be good to your body, be good to yourself and never say such things like that. life becomes good when you love yourself."

"is your life good?" he asked.

"the best," you answered. "i've learned to be grateful for everything- 'cause i have everything," you chuckled, squeezing his knuckles. "maybe i'm not the ideal type of girl in every person''s eyes but i am my type of girl."

"you're everything i aspire to be," remus said, holding his hand over yours over his heart.

"i love you," you said.

"i love you, darlin', i won't ever stop," he smiled.

#x reader #character x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin x reader fluff

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quixtrix · 5 months

Text

dolph was always meant to be doomed; something of an analysis

i'm on my third rewatch of captain laserhawk, and on this one i've been focusing more on the little details that you don't get on your first or even second time watching it. i've noticed little things, such as pey'j helping and then going on to shield a hybrid who's dressed similarly to jade in the third episode. but i've also noticed bigger things, such as alex and dolph.

keep in mind that this show is just filled to the brim with political messaging, it was purposefully designed that way. so when someone mentioned on here that alex was an accelerationist, it explained a lot. we don't know much about alex in terms of his backstory, we only know he helped dolph after dolph attempted to mug him and they ended up falling in love. it's also implied that alex and dolph have been repeatedly reported on the news as terrorists more than we've seen, with rayman referring to them as being the usual suspects when the kaiju attack happened, despite dolph literally not even being there when alex did that shit. they're known to do this shit, and we know alex is a charismatic guy. it's not too far fetched to say once or while dolph was falling in love with this gayass white saviour saint that alex talked him into this shit for alex's own purposes. because yes, he has a cause, but he's also a bit in over his head, maybe with power. he's aware of the power he has over dolph, how he actively uses the 'i love you' card multiple times when they're together and when they're not together. he just had a bit too much confidence in his hold over dolph, but to be fair, alex, you were topping some indulgent mob boss for your cause (because let's be honest of course your sources would be tight if they were being fucked for it) then continued fucking said mob boss and got caught with your dick out by your ex who you think you can get back with. alex uses people as tools, he just doesn't put his shit in the right places at the right times.

i'm getting off track, but the point i'm getting to is that alex most definitely saw dolph, a man who clearly has some jacked up eden tech smacked onto his twink ass, at his lowest, and picked him up like a shiny new toy. he was always going to use dolph. but how come dolph is so easy to use? he's starved for kindness. he's the stray dog that comes up to you at restaurants to act all nonchalant because 95% of the time he gets neglected, but the second he gets offered scraps, he shows how hungry he is. we don't know much about his childhood, and what we do know is under the lenses of literal eden propaganda. we do however know how people get like underneath the hand of eden.

everyone say thanks to rayman, who concidentally, is dolph's foil. both of them worked under eden as their lap dogs, one as a propagandist and the other as military, but dolph had gotten out of the hold the propaganda had on him while rayman's barely shaking it off. both of them are also portrayed as poor little tragic immigrants and the impoverished stand ins both in universe and story wise. they're the feel good picking yourself up american dream stories that people can feel inspired by or feel proud about the country with. dolph had a photo with a kid holding a doll of him. before he became ex military, he was definitely the guy they paraded around as a previous lost cause that eden helped. red, who's as political as his assigned colour, bitches about identity politics in that one off line for a reason. he also jus hates brown people fr he kicked me down a flight of stairs

now we can assume that dolph had picked himself up out of the propaganda machine somehow. he realised he was used and he didn't want that shit. he's attempting to get himself his own life, for fucks sake. he jus happened to get lead on by the wrong guy, which then lead him to get used by eden AGAIN. this time not only in a physical way via soldier work, but emotionally too, with sarah easily manipulating him with what? a sob story and helping him out, maybe being friendly with him along the way.

he wants a normal life. he wants a goddamn normal life. he jus continues to be selected as a tool.

you can see how fucking starved he is for kindness. you ever think about the fact that in his dream life, he sees jade and pey'j? he knew these people for less than a week, yet they get a place in his dream life. most notably, jade gets a speaking role in his dream life. the only other person who speaks, besides marcus, is alex, someone who had known him and shown kindness to him. jade has also shown kindness to dolph. she's the friendliest face there in the ghosts, being the first one to check on dolph when he wakes up, offers an explanation to him, and also makes an effort to include him in her little shenanigans with the video and all!! dolph was all emo alpha wolf and all, but despite his constant cold shoulder, she was kind!!

there was someone who was more than kind though; bullfrog. because bullfrog actively looked out for dolph, despite his constant pushback against bullfrogs advice whenever they weren't separated. and in the end, it's bullfrogs kindness and compassion that hits dolph the deepest. dolph gets out of his depressive state to go back for bullfrog. he cares about people, he goes out of his way to do shit for the people who show him the slightest bit of kindness. he backed up sarah after one good conversation with her to marcus for fucks sake. dolph is just a guy who keeps getting used though. he's so loyal to anyone who looks his way that it's a fatal flaw that ends up with his head blown up. he's a shakespearean tragedy at the moment. i hope in the potential season 2 that he gets to have more moments where he gets to be his own person. not defined by an organisation or a person or a cause, but what he chooses to define himself by. he's on his way there. he jus deserves to be allowed to live for himself. after all, he has already met his end of that story. he can make a new one.

anyways if u reached the end of this im down to discuss this :D i also did get a few points from other people on here, but let me know what u think nd all

#SORRY THIS WAS A RANT #A LOT OF YAPPING #i jus have a lot of thoughts about dolph #i adore him #he deserves so much #and i hate how he gets overlooked IN HIS OWN SHOW #dolph laserhawk #captain laserhawk #rayman #character analysis #sorry guys very passionate abt my boyfriend #alex taylor #captain laserhawk bullfrog #captain laserhawk jade #pey'j

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taehyunsluvr · 1 month

Text

Baked goods

Warnings: nsfw, afab!reader, sub!taehyun, meandom!reader (?), premature orgasm, oral (m receiving), not proof read, shitty plot, kinda brat taming if u squint real hard

Lmk if I missed any <3 !! MDNI !!

Summary: Your work friends have tried to help you succeed in your love life but it never seemed to work out. Until you meets your neighbor who's innocence intrigues you.

Word Count: about 2K

a/n: Ik this is shitty I've never written a fanfic before so I'll try doing different plots than basic ones like this (This isn't proof read so sorry for dumb mistakes lol)

You looked down at your buzzing phone. Is this why you always set 17 alarms? Because none of them could wake you up correctly? Either way you sighed deeply and flung your legs over the edge of the bed. The cold wood floor of your new apartment, the open window with a gentle breeze, everything about your new life was perfect. Except one thing. Every one of your friends, AND I MEAN EVERY ONE, had started getting into relationships, and here you were, in your apartment, alone. The only good part, was you had your options open. That was something only single people could do. Naturally. You sighed, got ready for work (which was one of the only things keeping you going at this point), and left your new apartment in a hurry. Sleeping through you alarms definitely didn't help with your time management.

You finally got to work. Your once clean and put together hair was now disheveled. At work you don't have many friends, but the ones you did have were the best you could ask for. As soon as you walked to your desk, your two coworkers and best friends decided to talk to you. "Hey Y/N do you have a date to the wedding?" One of them says. You look up at them, "No I don't why do you ask?" Your other friend answers, "We were just curious cause the wedding is next week. We wanted to know if you were coming single."

The two of them sit down on the opposite side of you. You can't say no. They're both too sweet. But what you really don't understand is why they would assume that you're gonna show up single. It almost made you annoyed. "No. I'm not coming alone." you say, making both of them look at each other. "Then who are you bringing?"

You shrug, "I'm bringing my boyfriend. You've both met him before."

You can't believe yourself right now. You lied about having a boyfriend. You didn't even know that there was going to be a wedding. You think about retorting your lie, but you don't think that you can because they were way too excited. "I knew it! I told you she would have someone."

The blonde girl, Winter, says to the black haired boy, Huening Kai, Hyuka for short. "Yeah yeah. I'm just surprised that she hasn't told us anything about him yet." Winter puts her hand on your shoulder, "I can't wait to see the guy you bring. If hes not hot I'm kicking him out." "I want to meet him." Hyuka says as he stands up. You nod.

"Why did I do that.." You say to your self as soon as you leave work. They're probably not even going to believe you once they meet your 'boyfriend'. You don't know how but I have to come up with someone or something. Then literally just as you're thinking that, you crash into something tall and hard.

"What the hell..?" You say as you back up and look at the man you just bumped into. Is this a romcom? How is he so handsome? And how did you just happen to bump into him right now..

You pray to whatever god gave you this chance in your head.

"Watch where you're going." He says coldly. Maybe you weren't so lucky. He was a bitch. A brat. But you played it off. It didn't really matter how he acted. That wasn't important. You try your best to put on a nice face. "Oh no! I'm sorry. Are you okay?" You ask him. He steps back, dusting off his clothes. "I'm fine. But watch where you're going." "I'm so so sorry." You say, reaching out your hand to brush off his jacket. He looks at my hand, then back at me. "No, it's fine. Just watch out next time."

You nod and look him up and down. He's very attractive. You could definitely take him to the wedding. But what if he already has a girlfriend? There's so much to consider. "Um, are you still here?" He says, making you snap back from your thought. "Oh yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking." you reply, careful not to break your composure.

"So uh.. Would you mind giving me your number so we can keep in touch? I mean if you're okay with it." You say. Seriously? How fucking corny was that. He looks at me.

"Why would you want my number?" "Well because you're cute and I'd like to get to know you better." "Really?" He laughs but clearly is flustered. A slightly smile

"So would you be willing to give me your number?" "Yeah sure." He takes his phone out and types something on it. He hands it to you, "There you go." You add the number reading the name " Kang Taehyun" on his screen. You completely forgot to ask for his name before. You walk away and to head home. Was this a dream or real life. You can't believe you just asked someone for their number. If you didn't already tell Winter and Hyuka that you had a boyfriend you would have totally been bragging to them about this.

As you walk, you realize that you're both heading in the same direction. Is he stalking you or is it just a coincidence? Maybe getting his number really did raise your confidence a little but too much.

"Are you stalking me or something?" you say, laughing.

He turns his head, "No, I'm not. I'm just going to the same place as you. But thanks for the offer." You scoff. "I own the bakery down here."

You're slightly taken aback by the fact that HES a baker. You would have thought he was a personal trainer, a model, something like that. "Lets walk together then." You pull him by his arm to be closer to you. He doesn't move away. You get to the bakery's front steps, pausing before he invites you in awkwardly. "We're closed right now but I need someone to test some of our new recipes anyways. This was your chance. You could possibly make him fall for you so you could take him to the wedding. So you take the chance to ask him if he's in a relationship. "I'm guessing you don't have a girlfriend..?"

"No. Not at the moment."

"A handsome guy like you should have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Whatever you're into." You sit at the bar of the bakery crossing you arms while leaning on the cold table top. He has basically no reaction. Is this guy celibate or just extremely experienced to the point nothing effects him. "Thanks, but I'm not interested in dating anyone at the moment." You ask "Why not? You look to be around that age." "Because I don't want to. I'm only 22." He answers while sorting through the different options of baked goods. You hesitate. You want to act how you usually would around guys, but thinking back on your past experiences maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"Why? No guy wants to be single."

He looks confused by what you meant. "So you've never gotten to third base in other words. I could tell by how many times you've checked me out." You threw the entire friendly girl act out the window, even though he invited you into his bakery out of his own 'kindness' after hours. "I- No I didn't.. Im just.." He says stopping his movement, tensing up while dodging your eyes, moving them to various objects around the shop.

"Give me a break. You're too obvious. At least try to be conspicuous about it." You run your fingers through your hair while teasing him. The dimly lit bakery almost seemed to help push the mood in the direction you were hoping for. You're enjoying this. Usually the guys you talked to before would start getting defensive and concerningly aggressive if you spoke to them this way. But he almost seemed to like the way you were talking down to him. "Take off your apron." You meant it to sound like a request but it ended up sounding like a full on demand.

He stayed silent and surprisingly complied. You raised an eyebrow. Did you misread him for a virgin? He gave in too easily. Either way, it didn't matter. Bringing him to the wedding wasn't your goal anymore. He slid off his apron, and you burst out in a laughter.

"I knew you were a pervert. You really are a virgin. This is too funny." You stood up and walked around the counter.

"Im not a pervert-" His words were cut short by the force of you hand on his hardness. He could barely form a sentence. His hips bucked shamelessly into your touch.

"How are you explaining this to me then? Use your words. I'll stop if you want, but I know you wanted this." He didn't even bother to respond. His head fell onto your shoulder, and you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

"No I... keep going.." He says between bated breaths. He let out a louder whimper as you gripped his cock. He leaned back up, his bangs messily covering his eyes. "Please.."

You stopped and unbuttoned his work trousers, they fell to pool around his ankles. He definitely wasn't small. You weren't confident you could fit it all but you had already left all your reasoning at the door as soon as you entered. You kneeled down, and without hesitation took his whole length down in one go.

As you slowly moved, you could sense how sensitive he was. His cock was begging for attention, twitching at every small movement you made. He was moaning softly, and breathing heavily. You pull your mouth off, teasing his tip with your tongue. You digged your tongue into his slit and swirled you tongue around his swollen glistening tip. He let out a strained moan. Even though you couldn't see him, you could already tell that he was a nervous wreck. You forced his length back down your throat, taking whatever you couldn't fit into your hands. You could feel his hands almost grabbing your hair, but as soon as he felt you slightly halt he moved them firmly to his sides. He shivered profusely. His whimpers grew louder.

"Wait I-" Without warning you feel his hot seamen spurt out onto your tongue-- and also practically all over your face. It was sweet, with a hint of saltiness. You could tell he took care of himself. "I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to.." You wipe the bit that got on your face and stood up.

"Open your mouth."

"Huh? Why-" You pushed your fingers forcefully into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. He gagged around your fingers and moaned lightly due to the sensation. You pulled them out slowly, wiping his saliva on his own shirt. His face glistening with sweat as it beaded on his forehead. His hair was sticking to it, but it somehow made him look cuter.

"You're so kinky for a virgin."

His eyes slightly widened on your judge of his character.

"Not at all! You just- it was so sudden.." His was still breathing heavily from his intense premature orgasm. You helped him pull his work pants back on. You couldn't believe you escalated the situation this far. The scent of the baked goods somehow managed to mask the lewd scent of cum that was usually so pertinent.

"So.. do you have any plans in the next two weeks?" "Not really.." He was still attempting to retrieve his composure. You could tell he wanted more, but you weren't seemingly willing to comply. "There's a wedding coming up and I want you to come with me. My coworkers are quite literally dying to meet you." "Why?" "They think we're dating." "And why would they think that? We just met today.."

"Because I told them we are.. and you should repay me. Even if you wasted my gift on that weak excuse for an ejaculation."

#sub!taehyun #sub!txt #txt hard hours #txt smut #taehyun smut #sub!idol #taehyun hard thoughts #txt hard thoughts

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actual-changeling · 5 months

Text

And once more with feeling: Why there is no magic trick or gun to either of their heads in the final fifteen.

Before you immediately run to my comments or hit reblog, please read the entire thing. If you're still mad, either read it again or sit with it, do not make it my problem. Genuine questions and discussions are always welcome, comments that make it clear you did not understand a word I said aren't.

Okay? Okay.

With that, welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner, and today we are going to compare their first and last argument in the bookshop—they are, fundamentally, the same. It both sets the scene for their relationship this season and works as immaculate foreshadowing of how they part.

I compared the scripts, which you can find here. It's incredible that OP put all that work into creating these because otherwise I would have gone insane doing it myself.

Now, the setting: they have a problem.

In ep1 it is Gabriel, in ep6 it is technically still Gabriel, or rather his now empty position in heaven. They solved one problem and now they're forced to deal with another one he also caused; meanwhile he's drinking space margaritas.

Crowley, stuck in his trauma-induced hypervigilance and paranoia, suggest putting as much distance between them and the problem as possible. I think it is interesting that in ep1 he wants to get Gabriel away from them, while at the end of the season he is ready to get them away from the problem.

So far, I have never seen anyone mention that change! And it's important! The entire season, it is hammered into our heads how much they love being on earth. It is THEIR bookshop and THEIR car and THEIR life.

Crowley wants to protect that home, and Gabriel is a threat to it, a threat to both of them, their life, the bookshop—everything. He does not want to leave, he wants his peace and angel in one place.

Yet by allowing Gabriel to stay, Aziraphale destroyed the sense of comfort and safety Crowley slowly developed over the last few decades. Heaven nipping down every now and then to check in with Aziraphale is very different from him sheltering the Supreme Archangel who is running from 'something terrible' without even asking if he's alright with that.

Aziraphale calls it their bookshop, but he fundamentally still sees it as his space to govern and Crowley as a guest.

After another horrible week and having his previously safe space violated several different times and beings, Crowley is back to where he was before—without a home. That fragile existence broke apart, so he is standing in the heap of shards and telling Aziraphale 'I don't feel safe here anymore, let's leave'.

He lost his safe space, but he still has his safe person, his best and only friend, the person he loves. I doubt he cares where exactly they go as long as they're together and it's safe.

Returning to heaven—it is the one place Crowley cannot follow him to. It's literally the worst option, he can't go back, he won't go back. So he invokes the bookshop again, if you don't want to stay for me, stay for the bookshop, your books, your corner of existence that I thought we had carved out for ourselves.

'Nothing lasts forever' and 'you're at liberty to go' have the same underlying meaning—you're not welcome in this house anymore, it was your safe place, not anymore. Both times, he's essentially kicking him out.

Aziraphale then switches it up again!

Same manipulation tactic, first making Crowley feel rejected and unwelcome, then trying to pull him back in by promising and showing affection. He's desperate, he's attempting to get Crowley into his "saviour" role because he knows he has a hard time not saving him from whatever trouble he gets him into. Aziraphale knows him so damn well, and he uses that knowledge to get what he wants.

'If you won't, you won't' has the same implication as 'then there's nothing more to say'—I am ending that conversation, you can leave now, he even makes the same face both times.

In ep1, that's that, Crowley takes his emotions and leaves.

The lightning bolt is the kiss. A sudden, heavy discharge of pent-up feelings that has been a long time coming, but in the end he is more desperate, less controlled, at his emotional rock bottom. Everything he thought to be true about their relationship came crashing down around him.

In his mind, Aziraphale chose heaven over him—TWICE! First Gabriel, now Gabriel's position.

'You're on your own with this one' applies to both scenes, I think the reasoning behind that is pretty clear.

Now, some more verbal components and word meanings that I think are worth mentioning.

One of them is Crowley directly pointing out heaven's cruelties when Aziraphale is seemingly unaware of them, thinking of Gabriel/heaven as in in need of his 'help'.

I can take help him -> I can make a difference.

It is, fundamentally, the same argument.

Aziraphale feels like he is the one who needs to play saviour (that Crowley actually hates it but Aziraphale loves it is a post for another time), the one being who can help Gabriel/heaven and fix all the problems.

Crowley correctly points out that they do not care about him and are just as cruel—if not more—as hell, that Gabriel tried to destroy him, that heaven will destroy all of them.

Their responses to that just shoot past each other and it is what Crowley himself tells us. Two different exactlys

Aziraphale's -> I am the only one who can fix this, I feel responsible for this, help me fix this.

Crowley's -> This is dangerous, it can get us killed, we cannot fix this. Come and be safe with me.

'He needs us' becomes 'I need you'.

'I would love you to help me' becomes 'we can be together'.

In episode 1, the argument isn't 'final', as such. Crowley is exhausted, sad, feels rejected, but when he finds out just how much trouble Aziraphale is in, he needs to go back and help him. It's instinct, he couldn't live with himself if he knowingly let him walk into the knife—and yet in episode 6 that is exactly what Aziraphale forces him to do.

It is why Crowley brings up the nightingales, why he kisses him: that primal, love-based desperation. This argument is final, he won't be able to follow him to heaven no matter what, he won't be able to protect him.

He is on his own with this one.

In conclusion, THIS is why the argument that happened in the final fifteen is real, there's no trick, no nothing.

They have had the same argument before, probably over and over again. Same structure but with lower stakes, and eventually they reconciled.

This time the stakes are as high as they possibly can be, which lures their most primal, honest arguments out of them.

Aziraphale wants to fix heaven, wants to help, still believes that they are fundamentally good, that he can make a difference.

Crowley has lived the truth, has been trying to tell him for centuries, and he is exhausted. He wants safety. He wants peace. He wants the two of them in a peaceful, not-fragile corner of existence that no one else gets to break ever again.

Not a single line was 'out of character', this is exactly who they are, with all their layers stripped away and their fears exposed. It's not pretty to watch, it hurts, it makes you ache, and yet they and we know that this is how it has the end—the only way it was ever going to end.

That is what makes it tragic.

However, even after all of that, there is one step left: reconciliation.

Season 3 is going to give it to us, in whatever shape or form. Neil knows what he is doing, and we can trust him to give them the ending they deserve.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #every single time someone tries to argue with me about this again i will just link this post

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zaimta · 1 year

Note

Hello! Wondering if you could do Ace, Shanks and Marco with a gender neutral reader who got themselves stuck in handcuffs and needs help getting out? Totally cool if not though haha. Have a nice day </3

a/n- this right here made me giggle a lil, sorry for the long wait!!

˗ˏˋ«────── « 𓆩♡𓆪 » ──────»

˗ˏˋPORTGAS D. ACE

literally the reason you’re in this mess he dared you to do it and he didn’t think you would

“i dare you to put those sea prism handcuffs on over there.”

you rolled your eyes and shot ace a glare “now why would i do that-“

“i’ll give you one thousand berri.”

you quickly thought it over and walked over to the handcuffs while ace giggled slightly and watched in anticipation to see if you would do it.

once you walked up to the handcuffs you immediately put them on not even thinking about how you would get out at the moment, until ace walked over laughing and threw his arm over your shoulder and his laughter stopped suddenly. you both stared off into the distance as if you were looking at an invisible camera

you struggle against the cuffs and stare blankly “i can’t get out. can i.”

“nope.” he popped the ‘p’ and you both sighed.

“you owe me two thousand berri just for this.”

˗ˏˋMARCO

disappointed ™️

“marco i need your help.”

marco turned around from his studies and turned to face you “what’s going on lov- oh.” he looked at you then the handcuffs and then sighed deeply while pinching the bridge of his nose

“what did we say about getting into bets with ace.” he rose a single brow

you sighed in annoyance you felt as if you were being scolded like a child "only bet with him if you know you can live without all your berri and your dignity."

he ran a hand down his face and lead you out by gently putting a hand on the small of your back “come on let’s go find someone who can get these off of you, you might lose an arm or two in the process but you’ll be fine” he smiled slightly while chuckling under his breath

“im sorry what.”

˗ˏˋSHANKS

you were drunk and you were dared by yassop who was drunk as well and it didn't end well for either of you

"hey y/n wanna have a drinking contest? loser has to do whatever society allowing dare the winner chooses." yassop challenged you with a cocky grin, causing you to roll your eyes with a grin "you're on but don't become a sore loser when I win." he chuckled "in your dreams n/n"

the two of you put up an even fight but unfortunately, the both of you tapped out at the same time completely drunk, your speech was slurred and all thought processes went out the window.

"hey since we both lost how about we do the dare together?" you suggested while smiling it was clear you didn't put thought into it, it was entertaining for your fellow crewmates to watch. what was even more entertaining, however, was that yassop agreed to your proposition.

"hey we know what we could do, how about trying on those handcuffs. i heard they're something new the marines cooked up." you said while pointing to your office where you had the handcuffs on your desk, you quickly retrieved them and slapped one handcuff on your wrist and the other on his.

"now what?" yassop asked staring at the handcuffs without a single thought running through his head. you shrugged "let's take them off...hm."

"n/n"

"yes?"

"you do have the keys right?"

"i do not."

the two of you slightly panicked, a slight panic turned into a moderate one, and soon enough, you were running around the deck like a pair of chickens without their heads. yelling about how you were stuck.

the two of you ran into shanks and you pleaded with him "please help us." shanks looked down at your wrists and busted out laughing, "no way! this is the best thing I've seen all day!"

"it's not funny!!" two of you shouted in unison at your captain.

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eganeyes · 26 days

Text

thinking of vampires and werewolves integraded in the military clegan au im sighing in agony

werewolf!bucky vampire!buck ofc lets fall to the expected norms mainly because i am a dog coded bucky enthusiast and also as much as i think of buck as a doberman he's very much vampire coded

werewolf vampire feud being an actual and expected thing, the 100th being gunned from the beginning of the war as a trial unit to see how humans, vampires, and werewolves are able to work together. most units kind of failing at it because everyones too territorial, too much blood history, too blood-proud, and humans too cautious.

enter the 100th, always the outlier, ever the undisciplined.

officer training begins far before their assignment to the 100th, so the buckies meet each other first. born-werewolf currently lone-wolfing john bucky egan's proverbial but also quiet literal fur bristling when he firsts scents the air of his new base and zeroing on buck cleven, the vampire who's going to sleep on the bunk right next to him. millennia-old ice-cold buck cleven smelling the wet dog fur and hearing the low growls first before looking up from folding his handful of monogrammed kerchiefs to a werewolf standing by the bunk next to him, presumably assigned that bed.

buck promptly ignores the guy, which bucky doesn't take at all very kindly. john still gives the guy his name though, a week down the line, because, well, he's very pretty and very smart and very capable of putting bucky on his back.

werewolves being high in the sky is unheard of. bucky suffers through the 'trying to get closer to the moon?' jokes easily enough. no sun smiting vampires here btw, should i say they glitter like the cullens or nah. just the slightest glitter then, lets say that there's a glow when the sun hits their skin, vampires being the suns favorite child or something and when they die they return as ashes to the sun to give those vampire pilots some fear of flying too close to the sun.

complicated-relationship-with-the-moon werewolf bucky vs complicated-relationship-with-the-sun vampire buck oh the ache

but like more on the other guys because fuck clegan theyve caused me enough grief

werewolf dougie vs human blakely. sooo attached to dougley you don't understand. dougie imprinting on ev like a baby chick, scenting his clothes and his jacket and his pillows etc. blakely being sooo flustered the first time dougie actually greets him like pack—as in dougie touches his nose to the side of ev's nose, runs it to the side just before his ear, and down to his neck—face cherry red and spluttering while dougie just has the most satisfied cat-who-got-the-cream look in his face. maybe after their first successful bomb-drop practice mission? idk just obsessed with the image.

vampire duo crubbles, centuries of being together reflected on the way they're never apart on the ground. croz's diet has to be like incredibly precise and certain blood sits weirdly in his stomach so up in the air paired with the anxiety of being so close to the sun he's puking out anything that's left in his stomach. ms. jean crosby known keeper of both harry crosby and bubbles payne, only woman to keep those two in line, but nobody actually knows what she is.

another werewolf and vampire pair: hammy and brady. hammy being a werewolf disaster duo with dougie, squabbling and rucking up the base like pups, bucky having to snap at them to cut it out when he's also wagging his out-of-sight tail wanting to cause mayhem too but maybe not when some very important general is by the base yeah. brady just brings that vibes of being incredibly old and incredibly stuffy and incredibly stick-in-the-mud at first you know?? hammy first meeting his vampire pilot and scoffing because that's literally the stereotypical vampire he's shit upon pre-army. until he sees brady pilot. until his pilot manages to execute a move so beautiful he doesn't end up as a pile of burnt fur within minutes of a trial flight. until he sees john fucking brady crack a smile at him with the slight glitter of the dying sun caressing his skin. dougie, smelling this shit from literally 4 miles away groans because brother, really?

vampire!kenny stuck in the body of a 19 year old never to grow old, waiting for his passing from the sun whenever that is. very human very warm very kind rosie rosenthal easily grasping at kenny's ice-cold-yet-sun-blessed skin and sparks fly from the flat of the palm meeting rosie's and to the tips of his bronze burnt curls.

fiery human chick harding able to go toe-to-toe with wolves and vampires, mouth stretched wide the first time he has bucky egan sitting on his visitor's chair whose metabolism is working overtime trying to burn the devils piss of a hooch out of his system. meeting born-werewolf jack the next hour who's bucky's only equal in their eclectic werewolf pack—whose fur is clearly bristling from bucky grounding him but he clocks instantly that this were will be the one who will actually snap on his new boys' heels if they ever step out of line.

currently kind of obsessed with this aaaa might come back with other ships (demacon i Will love you into existence) when it hits (hopefully) probably when the bi!buck euphoria melts a bit

#mota #mota hcs #clegan #dougley #rosielemmons #hambrady #i don't actually know their shipname :((#mota vampwere au

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gojos-thot-patrol · 7 months

Note

Hey pookie, you don't have to if you don't want to but can you do another suguru and satoru comfort fluff, I literally can not stop crying cause my whole day is ruined I just want someone to appreciate my efforts.

I got you boo bear.

Satoru wrapped a blanket around you as Suguru dried your tears. "I got you baby girl, it's okay..." He whispered softly as he kissed the top of your head. Satoru sat next to the two of you, despreatly wanting to help but also despreatly not wanting to be annoying.

He wrapped his arms around you and Suguru. "Just tell me who made you feel like this sweetheart, just point them out." He was seething with rage. He hated that someone had hurt his girl like this, and wanted to make them hurt just as bad.

"No, you're just going to kill them." You sniffled into Suguru's chest, "And they're not worth the prison time."

"That's for me to worry about, not you sweetheart-"

"Let it go Satoru." Suguru sighed, lovingly rubbing your back. "She'll tell us when she's ready." Which was code for 'we'll find them later.' Satoru sighed but nodded, relaxing into the two of you.

Suguru shifted on your bed, putting you in a more comfortable position on his lap. "Do you need anything baby girl?" He asked softly, "Food, water, a nap? whatever you want- it's yours." He assured you.

"I think I'm just tired." You sighed, closing your eyes and getting lost in your boys love. They looked at each other and nodded, before falling into a laying down position and sandwiching you in between them. The boys tended to fight tooth and nail for your affections, but whenever they needed they could pull it together and work as a unit for you. It was one of their traits you loved.

"I'm sorry..." You whimpered softly, "I don't mean to be so emotional,"

"Shush." Suguru interrupted you.

"Don't you dare apologize for having emotions." Satoru doubled down.

"We're here for you no matter what Beautiful." Suguru assured you with a forehead kiss, "We love you, when your happy, when you're sad, when you're angry- it doesn't matter. We love you and were here for you no matter what you're feeling."

"Yeah!" Satoru agreed, "And when you need support, were here to give you that too! That's what being in a loving relationship is Princess. We all take care of each other."

You smiled softly, their words doing the trick to make you feel even just a little bit better. "Thanks guys. I love you both." you sighed lovingly.

"I love you too." They said at the same time, really showing off the one brain cell they shared.

I hope you start to feel better beautiful, my DMs are always open 💙💙💙

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #suguru geto #gojo x reader #geto x reader #satosugu #satosugu x reader #satosugu fluff #satosugu x reader fluff #gojo x reader fluff #geto x reader fluff #mail call 💌

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keeksandgigz · 4 months

Note

Hii!

I was in class when i thought about this so bare with me

I’d love to see eddie x introvert!reader, since eddie is quite extroverted i’d love to see how they act in school and at lunch, does he sit next to her when they get to choose seats or does he sit with his friends? Does she get sad over “dumb” stuff? Maybe he overshares kinda personal stuff about her and she gets really hurt?

I will love you 4ever if you write something with this hehehehehe

thank you! xx

hi darling!!

this is gonna be very based on myself as i am introverted to a fault oops

I do think that he's very respectful of your boundaries and he really tries to kind of stave off putting you on the spot. Like when you two get together he spends two months literally hanging out with you at lunch because you don't feel ready to meet his friends.

It's not to the point where he ditches his friends to hang with you- albeit some complaints, but they're children, what do they know?- But it definitely gives you your time, especially because it can be debilitating sometimes. Meeting that many people at once? And he gets it, of course he does.

You're only yourself when you're with him, and of course, that means that he's your only friend most of the time. You both know a lot about each other, but I do think he has a big mouth and sometimes stuff just escapes him, especially when he's taken by the enthusiasm of being at the center of the conversation.

It takes him three months to get you to join him and his friends at lunch, and the first time you do, he's so excited he's like "My lady's here, so you guys better behave yourselves. She thinks you guys are a bunch of brutes already" and it kinda hurts you because now they have this opinion of you that you don't like them and they don't see why they should like you back.

And you have to block out the tears 'cause now everyone's looking at you weird- or so you think- and all you need is to hide back in the library. Needless to say it takes him a whole afternoon to get you to forgive him. He apologizes telling you that he's an idiot and that he'll take you out to the mall to spend however much money he's made that week from dealing.

You also make him tell the guys he was exaggerating and that you didn't think they were animals. Well, you do, but they don't have to know that.

#keeksgetsasks!#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #keekswrites

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sebastianthemadlad · 4 months

Text

THE NON CANON PARTS OF THE BLACK BUTLER ANIME IN BOTH SEASON 1 AND 2 AND ALSO THE SPECIALS WERE WILD

(in no particular order)

Ciel hires a random naked dog man who can turn into a giant wolf to be his servant even though he literally does nothing around the manor and just hangs out with Finny all the time

Finny forms a crush on a character we later find out is an angel named Angela and after the dog village arc ends we never hear of his crush again

For the most part the curry arc is the same, but for some reason they decided to change the ending. In the manga Lau and Ranmao killed Nina and her husband, in the anime everyone becomes evil by eating curry, and Sebastian had to feed them all his curry buns to turn them all good again, WHAT??

Sebastian has hanky panky with a Nun in some cult church

Angela took Vincent and Rachel's bodies and stitched them into a weird Frankenstein looking thing because apparently that would combine their souls in the afterlife so they could be together forever

Also the whole thing with Ciel being kidnapped by the cult is never explained despite Queen Victoria and Angela being responsible for the death of his parents, therefore you'd think they'd also be responsible for the whole cult thing? But they would have no reason to sell a 10 year old to be abused by a cult-

Ash (aka Angela because they're the same person) turns Queen Victoria into A FREAKING LOLI

Ciel is framed for drug trafficking

Sebastian is arrested and kept in a torture dungeon for like 3 days where he is BDSM whipped by Angela for some reason

Fred Abberline dies

Fred before he dies mentions he doesn't have any family yet he has a brother who shows up in season 2-

Lau and Ranmao die yet they also show up in season 2

Lizzy gets kidnapped by a doll man and is almost turned into a doll zombie (not a bizarre doll just a doll zombie)

Sebastian ditches Ciel in France for some reason

Ciel finds Undertaker on some random boat and then Undertaker tells him he's gonna freakin' die

London is on fucking fire

Who caused the fire? Pluto. And thats the only part of the story where he is relevant

The final fight between Sebastian and Ash/Angela is fucking awesome though

In season 2 Ciel is just in a suitcase and has amnesia

Alois pokes Hannah's eye out for spilling a drink or something

Ciel and Lizzy try to find a deer or something and everyone thinks they're gonna break up after just 1 argument

Lau even started a gambling thing where people put down their bets on whether or not Ciel and Lizzy were gonna break up

Some weird old lady set random people on fire because she didn't like her husband, for some reason the fire disintegrated the souls so Grell couldn't collect them which doesn't make sense

Some weird bullshit happens on a train with a Pharaoh, a murderer and Sebastian being cool like always

Alois has a dress up party at his house

Soma and Agni cry because Ciel has amnesia

Soma is dressed up as Sherlock Holmes even though black butler takes place before that came out

Lizzy dresses up as a Native American, you can say what you want about that

Kinda like the whole curry thing everyone turns evil except its from music from a magic instrument Hannah plays and not curry, and Sebastian stops it by playing his own music kind of like the final battle in Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks

Alois crossdresses and turns Ciel bi curious

Sebastian and Claude have sexual tension in the lake

Ciel and Alois have a sword fight, Ciel is thrown off a balcony and Alois is stabbed

"PLEASE HELP ME CLAUDE, HELP ME I'M DYING 😭"

We soon find out about Alois' backstory and it's actually quite sad and hits a bit close to home for me, I won't go into detail but the poor kids been through a lot, Alois is genuinely an interesting and kind of well written character its a shame he was put in the non canon pile of shite

Claude then crushed Alois' skull and takes his soul and puts it in a ring

Kids are getting their eyeballs ripped out and apparently Alois is doing all of this, but for some reason Scotland yard THINKS CIEL IS ALOIS WHICH IS SO DUMB BECAUSE THEY'VE BEEN WORKING WITH HIM EVER SINCE HE BECAME THE QUEENS CORGI GUARD DOG

He is taken to some doctor and is dumped into a pool of gatorade to fuse his and Alois' souls

Ciel's backstory is basically half of Alois' and half of Ciel's and thinks Sebastian killed his brother Luca

Ciel doesn't like Claude because Claude is a goober

Hannah does a weird thing with Ciel she like... Possesses him? And his eyeball appears in her mouth or something? I had no idea what was going on

Soon it is revealed Hannah was the one who ate Luca's soul and is now feeling like a mother figure for Alois because of it

Grell shows up again (yay) and she keeps trying to take sexy photos of Sebastian

Soon Claude and Sebastian end up at a maze thingy and they need to answer trivia questions to get to Alois/Ciel's soul

Soon they go to some demon island and they end up fighting using a demon sword while Ciel and Alois talk about shit in some void

Claude fucking dies (rip goober)

Alois' soul is finally set free and the poor kid gets to be with his little brother again

Hannah turns Ciel into a demon so Sebastian can no longer eat his soul so Sebastian just becomes Ciel's butler for all eternity and I lowkey feel bad for him, because yeah eating childrens souls is wrong but BRO WORKED SO HARD HE LITERALLY BANGED A NUN FOR THIS CHILD AND THIS IS THE THANKS HE GETS??

Ciel and Sebastian fake their death, the end of season 2 and a few years after that the ACTUAL CONTINUATION OF THE CANON PARTS come out

Ciel in wonderland is very silly

Sebastian as the rabbit is hot for some reason, does that make me a furry?

There is a lot of weird fan service, for example Ranmao keeps shoving her boobs and butt into Ciel's face... LADY THAT IS A 13 YEAR OLD YOU CANT DO THAT-

I'm glad it wasn't canon because I love Ranmao and she would never do that in canon

Madame Red as the queen of hearts is very cool

Weebalu already mentioned this but I wish J Michael Tatum (Sebastian's dub voice actor) did a Alice In Wonderland audiobook in the Sebastian voice

The one where Ciel puts on a play for hamlet was funny, the part where they're practicing is funny because its like an actual theatre club

Soma and Agni are the kids who are always eating, Ciel is the kid who just sucks at acting, Grell is the one who is great at acting but is very annoying and Sebastian is the theatre teacher who wants to commit kms because of all of these stupid kids

Ranmao is seaweed

Grell tries to commit incest during the play-

The special where its basically a 'behind the scenes' thing kind of like an actor AU

Sebastian is a fucking 2010's boy band looking lad

Grell is just amazing in this

In the final "trailer" Grell got pregnant, Queen Victoria built a giant robot, Claude tried to destroy the world with the fucking moon, Hannah... Uhhh lets not talk about what she did, a whole load of "I am your father" type plot twists took place and Alois was Ciel and Sebastian's great great great great great great grand-

The special where theres this character who's basically a self insert but she's a white girl so if you're not either of those its kind of hard getting into it (cries in gay guy)

The POV shots look like something out of Dora The Explorer

Soma wants to marry us for some reason, I wouldn't mind that he's cute

We also get kidnapped by Viscous Druitt for no reason and then Sebastian and Grell save us from a boat in the middle OF THE OCEAN

Finally Will The Reaper (I'm sure there are more specials but I'm lazy)

Grelliam galore

Probably one of the best specials because Grell and William are the main focus and they're just the absolute best

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g-xix · 8 months

Text

Sidemen NSFW Alphabet | JJ Olatunji

Girl don't get in debt offering your life out for smut 😭😭. That being said I have just put my mortgage on the line for the Lionesses against Spain, and we did in fact lose. Devastating news. Cheer myself up w a JJ pic tho:

THAT'S THAT FINE MF I BE WRITING FOR 📢📢📢 Alr, enjoy the alphabet tho n suggest who's next xox (link to Harry's NSFW alphabet)

-----------------

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex) Both of you are so blissed out afterwards that he can't even think about getting up to do anything. I feel like his style of aftercare is just spending time together afterwards. Once that horny-brain mindset has worn off he's back to just adoring you and sticks to you like un-floured dough on your fingers- hugging you 'round the waist, cuddling and watching movies, pressing little kisses against your face and telling you how much he loves you...

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's) He absolutely loves his cock. Yeah, fat surprise that one. Loves his cock just out of pride for what it can do and the effects it has on you. And despite saying he's an ass guy, I feel like he's lowkey a tits guy. Or he loves them both equally. Either way- seeing either of them is always a massive turn on. Loves seeing your ass in leggings and always needs to whack it and run when he sees you bent over- but equally also loves just resting a hand on a titty when you two are just sat down cuddling.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) I think he literally loves seeing his cum on you or in you. Something about it is so weirdly hot for him. I think me most likes finishing in your mouth though- literally asking for you to stick your mouth open afterwards so he can see it on your tongue, before swallowing. Something about that feels so weird in hindsight as he gets his post-nut clarity, but in the moment it feels too hot not to do.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) One time whilst doing missionary he spotted a sort of protrusion in your stomach which caused him to stop for a moment in pure surprise, having never seen that in his life. Pulled out slightly so that he could examine it more, but noticed that as he pulled away it disappeared. Thrusting back in, it reappeared- and placing his hand over your stomach, he realised that it was his cock inside you that he was seeing- the tip pressing against your inside and causing that little bump. Something about that turned him on so much that now every time you do missionary he keeps one hand on that bottom bit of your stomach, unbelievably turned on at the feeling of his dick through your tummy each time he thrusted.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?) I think he's made it quite clear he knows what he's doing, and I believe every word he's said about it. He knows exactly what to do and probably knows the ins and outs of your body by heart- all the places that'll have you moaning so loud the neighbours are sick of hearing JJ's name.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Probably missionary just because of how the two of you have slowly adapted it to make it the best. Pillow under your ass so that he hits all the positions you need him in, he can wrap his hand around your neck to choke you how you always like it, and best for him, he gets to see your face and tits each time he thrusts...

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) I think your minds are too horny-filled to think about cracking a joke. All of that comes after the deed, when the two of you are spending quality time cuddling.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) There's hair there but it doesn't matter. He keeps it clean + grooms it so that it doesn't become overgrown

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Fuck intimacy. He likes being able to make eye contact and speak to you, suree... But it isn't like he's trying to make it romantic. Fuck. That. This man is trying to get as rough, sexy and passionate as it gets. All the romantic loving comes in the aftercare- whilst doing the deed- he isn't focussed on being romantic.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) As much as the two of you like sex with one another, you also appreciate that sometimes j jacking off is the vibe. Thing is, JJ never wears earphones when he's watching something on his laptop with lotion in his hand- so if you're in the next room- you're hearing exactly what he's hearing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Lowkey loves choking. He's generally more dominant and he loves just wrapping a hand around your throat whilst in missionary- gently squeezing the sides, looking down and seeing you with your hands wrapped around his own- almost begging him to apply more pressure. Something about it is just so sensual to him and always turns him on more

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Literally has zero shame. He likes doing it in the bedroom, sure, but something it just so hot about the thought of doing it somewhere he know the two of you shouldn't. The first time he'd had you bent over the kitchen worktop of the new apartment, he realised he wanted to do that shit in every position, in every possible place in the apartment. And it doesn't stop in the apartment. Wherever he could, he would do it with you. The car, hotels, hot tubs- sometimes you wondered whether he was a bit of an exhibitionist.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) It isn't hard for him to get turned on. But generally, it's just seeing you in even a slightly suggestive position, and his mind starts wondering. His motivation is thinking "Hey, we've never had sex here", and suddenly he's got you bent over the kitchen worktable with his head between your thighs.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs) Pretty down to experiment, but wouldn't try anything properly weird like scat or piss. Would assume that was a joke if it was ever even mentioned, because there's no way he'd do that

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Doesn't mind giving head, but receiving it is a completely different type of pleasure for him. I'd imagine he would say on Sidecast "My girlfriend gives the most MINDBLOWING HEAD", which makes everyone on set crack up, but JJ wouldn't be joking at all. This man has his hands clenched on the bedsheet or on the back of your head, unbelievably blissed out which your head wrapped around his cock. Isn't generally very loud or makes many noises whilst fucking- but whilst getting head, he's virtually shouting his moans.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Depends on the mood, but I think fast and rough is the way to go. As said- aftercare is when JJ loves being all soft, but whilst doing the deed I reckon it's a completely different ball game

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) I reckon he loves them. Loves anything to do with sex, and something like a quickie that adds a bit of risk, he's all up for. Plus he always gets kinda turned on seeing you in work attire, and so he always tries to sneak in a quickie before you have to leave for work

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) I think something about risks actually turns him on. Doing it somewhere he knows he shouldn't is like an achievement and he wants to do it everywhere he can. Would he take a risk like going no condom and relying on the pullout game, though? HELL NO. He may be stupid sometimes but he isn't stupid enough to take risks that harmful to the two of you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He's really physically fit, so I'm tempted to say that he could go multiple rounds. Plus oftentimes, he's so blissed out and turned on at the same time that even after he's cum he wants to go another round just because he's THAT horny for it

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Sidemen literally BUY this man toys on videos. OF COURSE HE USES THEM. Often times just tries them once to see how they are, but has kept a few just based on how good they are. Probably finds you after using it and explains whether it's shit or whether "I don't think I've ever felt such convincing silicon in my lie"

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) I think he'd love teasing. Little bit of making you wait it out, having you beg- he knows it only makes it even better when he finally gives it to you- and he uses that to make the both of your orgasms just that much better

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Probably some low noises like groaning. I think he's deffo one to talk during sex, and I think he leans more towards degrading than praising. He used to praise more, but you admitted you kinda liked degrading and wanted to try it... Initially he was really bad because he didn't know how to say anything that was degrading but not genuinely mean- but once he started getting into it, the two of you REALLY started getting into it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Has probably tried roleplay before. One Halloween the two of you dressed together in a couples or a matching outfit, and whilst clearing a few years later, you found them again. One thing led to another and you agreed to try roleplay in them. I think JJ would've taken roleplaying seriously because he was actually turned on by the idea, but you couldn't stop breaking character and laughing because it was too much for you. Ended up just taking off the outfits and having sex without roleplaying, even though JJ discovered a new kink that day

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes) Probably big. Around seven to eight inches, average width. He's been CONSISTENT in calling himself a grower not a shower and icl i think I believe it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) So mf high. Literally, he'll just be doing something and then the thought of sex crosses his mind and suddenly- BAM- he's got a hard-on and is coming to you. Doesn't help the fact he's so attracted to you that he can't see you do anything remotely sexual without his mind wandering.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Doesn't fall asleep afterwards, probs in a good mood afterwards. Can go and get on with his day if it's a pre-work quickie, or if it's post-work, then he'll just spend time with you- cuddling and spoiling you with his love

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