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#I think I understood everything through the translations
sunshineandlyrics · 23 days
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This is about Louis meeting Rena again, in front of his hotel in Santiago, Chile, 4 April 2024 x x x
Rena's Mum said that Louis recognised him and called him over. Louis smiled at the flowers and asked if they had anything for him to sign but he was hurried, so Louis asked them to wait until he return from the radio station so he could spend some time with Rena, and Ben repeated the instructions. One of Louis' bodyguards was translating for them. When Louis returned to the hotel, he and Rena hugged and Louis signed a DVD and CD.
Rena is the kid that Louis tweeted about in 2020, and then met at his LTWT Santiago concert in 2022.
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Tweets (2020) x
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When they met (2022) x
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neverendingford · 6 months
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#watched Can Me By Your Name and have so many thoughts and I scroll through my contacts and no one to speak them to#so many ears and none would hear my words in a way that matters#so I speak. knowing no one will hear. I speak. knowing no one will listen. better to know it will be ignored then hope against hope#human longing. heart hurt. knowing you share a moment. knowing that moment will pass. hoping it won't.#we speak about the harm of broaching a topic too early. derailed development and all that.#what about broaching it too late? picking the fruit when it has over ripened.#what do we gain by gatekeepinh emotional experiences. by telling people they are too young to experience what they already do?#to have parents who watch you struggle and explore and they step back and allow you to do so.#knowing that they have built a trust that you will hold onto even while in untested waters#what is it like? having parents secure enough to allow you to discover on your own?#what is it like to find someone with whom you share such a connection? even for a moment.#we hurt. we sit alone. we hope someone will sit next to us. we fear someone sitting next to us#and when you do make a connection.. everything in life conspires to pull you into another stream#I think I hate Timothee Chalamet because of what I connect to myself.#the traits that I have in common. viewed entirely masculine. I think it makes me insecure.#I see him and I fear others see me the same way. I got compared to some tech bro yesterday and I hurt to hear those words#to be viewed as someone else instead of myself#to be seen through a lens which does not represent my essence truthfully#translated into a language that has no word for me. I want to be understood in a system that will never represent me.#forever alien. something outside the world I live in.#I dissociated so hard a week ago and I have not recovered. the sense of alienation has not gone away because it is still here#I need to find queer community I need to find queer community I need to find queer community I need to find queer community
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pompompurin1028 · 2 years
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intimacy plus dazai is one of my favourite things
#kat rambles#it's just especially with Dazai intimacy and softness are so so precious it's like it melts me#the internal conflict one can write about as a result is delicious. the tiny behavioural gestures that suggest hesitancy mm#on a side note it's actually quite interesting when one compares the sense of intimacy Dazai-sensei creates in his writing with bsd#Dazai-sensei is in a way intimate with his readers yet remains an ironic distance the tone and the way he writes definitely invites the#readers to engage with him#he doesn’t give the whole truth and I think it's really interesting from the translator's introduction I read yesterday is that Dazai#almost teases his readers with details he brings up something very briefly in one text then elaborates it somewhat in another but doesn’t#reveal everything and it's something I almost forget as someone who as understood at least somewhat of his biography... most readers at the#actual time do not have that luxury#whereas bsd establishes dazai in an almost distanced way#you never see from his eyes his pov his thoughs#his character arc is seen entirely from other people's backstories and he is only ever seen from other people's ppv#*pov#so actually thinking about it both of them kind of establish and bring details about dazai into light in a slow way#almost teasing the readers to continue diving deeper#I just find it fascinating how Dazai-sensei himself and Bsd chose to present 'Dazai'#from a direct quote from The Saga of Dazai Osamu: He is extraordinarily revealing it appears at first glance; and yet#unless you have been been following the course of his argument through years of time and dozens of journals#he does not reveal too much#to you at any one time#food for thought I guess?#because it is actually a really interesting experience having seen bsd dazai then interacting with Dazai-sensei's writings where he seems#so revealing and confessional and open#maybe I need to adapt some of this to my writing🤔#might delete this when I'm back from homework
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flowershines · 5 months
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Unbearable Feelings
School Rival Virgin. Jungwon x F. Reader
Summary: Two academic rivals have to share a tent and an enclosed area from the class due to not enough space. (Huddle for warmth)
Warnings: Smut, mentions of baby trapping, rivals, virgin Jungwon, switch Jungwon, car break down, mutual masterbation
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Song to represent Unbearable Feelings:
Hallways filled with people as they moved from one class to the other, glancing around the hallway as music ran through your ears trying to keep your mind occupied by reviewing the vocab you had to study for your next class. Mumbling as you tried to remember the phrases, looking up to try and think of the words that were somewhere in your mind, letting out a frustrated sigh as you just could not remember. Taking out the paper from behind your phone as you swiftly look at the phrase and repeating the french translation in your head, glancing at the wall closest to you still repeating the word and its definition in your mind. Moving onto the next line you said the phrase in your head then referring to see your paper if you had gotten it right, you did.
Feeling a pair of eyes look at you, your gaze was met with the one guy you despised, don't get me wrong he was okay and everything but you both had always wanted to be the top of your class. Debate after debate you would win then him then tie then repeating that order, you never understood why he always argued back all he talked about was getting into his dream job but getting into that business doesn’t depend on a stupid debate that you had won so why was he taking it so serious.
Quickly breaking eye contact then softly returning your gaze to him a figure appeared in front of you, turning your head to the wall and letting out a huff of air, a headphone was pulled from in your ear into the boy's hand. “Go away, Jungwon.” He placed his hand on his chest and opened his mouth as a way to act, referring to how ‘offended’ he was. Rolling your eyes he said, “I’m actually great company Y/n, see now you would notice if you really cared.” “Wow that's crazy cause honestly I don't care about you enough to want to know.” Opening your eyes wide and leaving your mouth open ajar to show your sarcasm. “Ouch, what’cha studying?” He asked, ripping the paper from your grasp, looking at the paper, “You don’t know these, I already know them all.” “Yeah okay.” a sarcastic laugh fell from your lips. “Say the English, I'll translate for you since you're having a hard time.” scoffing at his confidence you replied saying “Send a text message.”
Turning to him waiting for his reply “Envoyer un texto, évidemment stupido.” ( _, obviously stupid.) “Ha Ha very funny, how do you say I am a very ignorant man?” turning to him waiting for an actual answer from your sarcasm, “Je me tiens à côté d'une petite fille ignorante.” (I'm standing next to an ignorant little girl.) “Va te faire foutre.” (Fuck you) walking faster to try to get away from him he speeded up his pace as well, “Wait where are you off so fast?” “My class, just leave me alone, I don't know why you love to bug me.” “Was it something I said?” “Isn’t it always?” You told him walking faster as he stopped walking and just stood, finally arriving at your class you put your phone in your bag and continued to study your vocab till your mind was occupied on the paper your french teacher put over your paper lifting your head you saw her giving one to every classmate, including Jungwon.
Looking back at the paper you read from top to bottom, ‘French Trip, all students who wish to partake in this trip must give a $10 fund and sign the paper below. The trip starts 1.12.23 till 3.12.23 when finished hand in back to the teacher when done.’ Maybe this will give you some time to yourself which is much needed, spending time at your apartment with your roommate isn't always your favorite thing to do, she would always bring people over when you studied but it just made you want to work harder so that way when people see the new person you would become and how successful you were would be the best part.
But of course Jungwon just loved to ruin these things for you, he always had since you both started the same school. His priorities were your priorities, not to mention the business he wanted to go to was not even the best job out there, being as smart as he is you thought he would want to get into a better job but it was a business that almost everyone gets into. I mean if it's his dream who were you to stop him you just thought it was odd. Class was like any other class with Jungwon starting by the teacher teaching the lesson following by you asking a question on the assignment as Jungwon tells it to you and proceeds to make a blunt remark following his explanation back to you telling him off, starting an argument with him till the teacher tells you both to stop and get your work done.
But today was different. You didn’t ask any questions and just stayed to yourself the whole class, making no remarks, nothing, you barely even spoke to your classmates. You could feel Jungwons gaze seeping in through your soul, refusing to look up at him. You just continued with your work till the teacher assigned the homework and made a joke saying how quiet the class was that day, making the class look at you and Jungwon even then you didn't say anything. She passed out the homework then dismissed the class, standing up putting your bag on your chair. You took out your folder and placed the homework in there then proceeded to put it in your bag looking up from your bag you were met face to face with the one person who made you want to stay quiet that day.
“What do you want?” You asked while zipping up your backpack then putting it on, “You were quiet.” “Yeah so?” “Nothing I liked it, you should do it more often.” Lips touching each other making a straight line across your face then nodding. “Noted, you done?” “Yup.” Rolling your eyes and shaking your head he walked right by your side till you were by the doors to leave the school, “Where are you going we still have English?” “I know, I'm not going.” Opening the doors, he asked “Why?” “I wanna go home, I'm tired.” not waiting for his response you left the building getting your car keys out from your back, you knew it wasn't the best thing to skip out on English but it was the last class and you had nothing major going on that day.
The whole rest of the day you spent in your room studying and trying to make up the english work that you missed, she had emailed you the work as you told her you weren't feeling well and had to go home. The next day walking into the building was the same thing as yesterday going to the same classes, French class was the same as well you turned in the slip as the trip would be later today. Whole class she told the people who were going on the trip to stay in the class and the rest who weren't going to the library and study for any other class, almost the whole class left except for 6 other students not including you. Of course your favorite person in the whole world had to go on the trip as well, but you just figured you wouldn’t talk to him and actually enjoy yourself without him.
You noticed how for the past classes you had with him, he hasn’t made any comments, no rude remarks, barely tried to talk to you, no arguing, nothing. A part of you felt at peace with yourself being able to do all of your work and had extra time to study for upcoming topics, today was the day you had the trip. Being so excited to be by yourself with your classmates that you never really minded except Jungwon, you minded if he was going. Heading home from school you start to pack your bag with your pj’s, toothbrush, toothpaste, blanket, outfits, the book you had been reading in your free time, along with other unimportant things as well. The french teacher emailed the individuals to meet back at the school around 4:30pm being 4:05 you changed into more comfortable clothes then headed to the school, arriving there a couple minutes early you see almost all of the students that were attending including the teacher.
She had told everybody the address of where the place was, telling everyone their partner who they would be driving with as they would take one person from the pair's car. As the teacher called out the pairs the only person who you hoped not to get you had gotten as a partner, he looked at you as you looked at him pulling your eyes away from his stare you refused to look back at him not wanting to look at him as you will for a couple of hours already, great.
“We are taking my car.” You told him as he came closer to you after the teacher had finished talking, not giving him any time to respond back you started to head to your car surprisingly he followed in your footsteps back into your car. Unlocking you placed your bag in the back seat waiting for him to catch up and held out your hand to tell him to give you his bag, he reached his hand up to yours and placed the bag handles in your hand.
“So this is what it feels like to have you as a personal slave.” “Yeah, don’t get used to it.” You gave him a sarcastic smile and shut the car door behind you walking over to the driver's side of the car. Starting the car you see Jungwon in your peripheral vision putting on his seat belt and acting all sporadically holding the seatbelt with a tight grip. “The fuck are you doing?” “You got a helmet?” “Why would I have a helmet?” He shrugged “For your passengers.” “The seatbelt should be enough.” “I don’t think so Y/nie, your driving isn't the best I see you swerve all the time.” “Bull shit, I’m a good driver you on the other hand that's a different story.” He giggled at your remark, you softly smiled as you found his smile heartwarming but thought to yourself why were you smiling at him, HIM.
Immediately putting a straight face on not wanting him to see you smiling at his smile, putting the car into reverse then starting to drive Jungwon was being as annoying as he can distracting you so much from driving, “Omg Jungwon shut the fuck up.” He slowly turned his head raising one eyebrow making a disgusted face, “So mean” He signed sarcastically looking down pretending to be upset at your remark. After glancing at him you returned your gaze to the road, hearing a loud noise coming from the back of your car, “Did you just get rear ended?” “No, it sounded loud but we didn't get rear ended.” Blinking his eyes in confusion, “You sure?” you hummed at him to let him know that we were okay. “Then why are we slowing down?” “Jungwon shut up, I don’t know.” “It’s your car you should know.”
Rolling your eyes you pulled over on the side of the road, you put the car in park not wanting it to move as you went to check out what happened. Unlocking your seatbelt and stepping out of the car swearing to yourself as your tire was flat against the pavement on the side of the road, “I heard you, is everything okay.” he asked from the passengers in the car, “Flat tire.” stepping out of the car he appeared in front of you on the opposite side of the car as he slowly walked over to you to see the condition you guys were in. “You got a spare on you.” “No.” “Hasn’t your boyfriend or anyone ever told you it would be a SMART idea too.” “Well I don't have a boyfriend so nobody ever warned me about this stuff.” “So what would you think if this ever happened?” Looking directly at him shrugging your shoulders you, “Just call someone or hope for the best i guess.” He huffed and rolled his eyes pulling out his phone from his pocket, he ran his fingers through his hair frustrated as he couldn't get a signal, the only lighting found from the woods was the light of his phone that was resting in his palms.
“Are you getting a signal?” Taking out your phone as well and going to make a call nothing was going through saying the connection failed even trying the emergency call, it would only let you call the police. It wasn’t that big of a deal to call the police so you decided not to. “No, what are we supposed to do?” Looking up at him with doe eyes, holding your arms as a gust of wind ran through your hair along with the t-shirt you were wearing. “Maybe we should just stay here till someone comes or till we get a connection.” Walking back to the car you sighed before getting in as tears brickled at your eyelashes threatening to fall, Jungwon noticed before he was able to get in he shut the door of the passengers side making a tear fall down your cheek from being scared and embarrassed. All of the sudden the door on your side was opening to reveal him standing at your door.
He grabbed your wrists and took them so you weren't sitting but standing outside the car door, he pulled your wrists around his waist letting go then placing his hand around your neck. “It’s not your fault, these things just happen, it's nothing to get upset over.” He told you to pull away, looking down at you, wiping away your tears, hugging you tighter. “We can still have a good time if that will make you feel better, I brought a tent with us.” You looked up at him then hugged him tighter, he giggled. “Is that a yes?” You nodded against his chest, pulling away you cried even more noticing how you had gotten mascara smudged all over his shirt. “I'm sorry.” You told him sniffling as your hands went to your face to hide yourself in the state you were in, “Don’t worry about it, I bright extra shirts.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you to the side of the car where all of your things had been in, taking out the duffel bag that had the tent in it and placing it in your arms. He grabbed a shirt from his bag and followed you into the forest not that far away from your car and not too deep into the forest as you had never seen the area before not wanting to walk into random animals territory.
Unzipping the duffel bag you went to turn around to ask him for help but you were faced with a shirtless Jungwon standing in front of you, not saying a word you quickly turned your head around, face starting to heat up you tried to pull your mind away form the image you just saw but you couldn't he just looked so gorgeous like that in front of you. He walked over to you with a smirk on his face as he was biting the inside of his lip, “Can’t look at me now, Y/n?” not saying anything you continued to act like you were busy reading the instructions he pulled them out of your hands, still not looking at him you looked into the woods. “Look, it's so pretty.” You were referring to the moon shining down on the trees making the river that ran through the trees sparkle, “So pretty.” walking to stand in front of you making perfect eye contact with his cock.
“OKAY.” You said shooting up from your spot, “Let's make this.” He smiled and took the lead looking at the instructions and starting to build the tent. Not long after the tent was all built you got off from your knees as you were pushing the tent pegs into the ground to make sure that the tent would stay in place. Unzipping the tent and crawling in you went in and sat down in the corner as you watched him get in the tent as well, “I’ll go get the blankets, you want anything from the car?” “Just my bag please.” “Such a polite girl.” He said, exiting the tent grabbing the things, hearing him walk back he came back and threw your bag at you, “You know what time it is?” “Like almost 10 I think” He pulled out his phone to check the time, “10:34” yawning, you covered your mouth and turned the other way not wanting him to notice how tired you were, “You tired?” He asked while setting up both of your beds.
“Nope.” “You're such a liar.” Shaking his head while giggling at your comment, “Just go to bed.” “But you're still up.” “Yeah I stay up late, go to bed if you're tired I'll still be here when you wake up.” Smiling softly at his comment as you noticed how he has never acted this soft around you before, he moved aside letting you be able to crawl to your spot, “I still have to get into my pj’s though.” “Nobody is stopping you.” “Turn around.” “Y/n I won't look, I swear I'm still making my bed.” “Swear.” “Pinky swear.” Taking off your sweatshirt and shirts from your bag you started to stake off your shirt as you made direct eye contact with the man in front of you, he immediately turned back around. Continuing you took off your shirt and put your sweatshirt on standing up after you're done and pulling down your pants grabbing your shorts that barely covered your ass and putting them on. “Okay, all done.” He turned around to look at you, he just stared at your thighs in awe his cheeks blushed not being able to look away it looked like he was in some sort of trance. He slowly looked away in embarrassment knowing that you saw him staring at you that way, he crawled into his bed as you got into yours as well he went on his phone and turned around so that way he wasn't facing you. Shutting your eyes and drifting off into your dreams you were awakened by shivering throughout your whole body, no light was being portrayed in the tent.
“Won?” He hummed back, “Are you cold?” “No, are you?” you hummed he sighed, “Come over here.” Unzipping your sleeping bag you crawled over to him and he had it held open as his back was now against the tent, so now he can see you. “Is there going to be enough space?” You asked him, “I don’t know, just get in here.” He shook the sleeping referring to how you should get in, crawling in next to him getting as far away as possible but still being able to zip it up again. He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer and zipped up the sleeping bag, “So far away, you scared of me or something.” He asked sarcastically whispering in your ear, a shiver trailed down your spine from being this close to him and feeling his breath on your neck along with on your ears as well. “No?” He hummed, “You should be good now, go back to sleep.” following his suggestion you closed your eyes once again, fading away into dreamland, waking up you noticed you heard some noises coming from Jungwon behind you. Turning towards the side you noticed him still sleeping, rolling back to the side you were just on and closing your eyes thinking that you were probably just imagining the sound, but the noises got louder as you felt something rubbing up against you upper thigh. NO FUCKING WAY, IS HE… NOO.
Shuffling was heard behind you as a hand trailed down to your waist turning around you were facing him eye to his closed eyes that were closed tightly shut, his face alone made you think of him in certain ways. His eyebrows were knitted together, his eyes tightly shut, the veins on his neck were popped out, nose scrunching up and his bottom lip was placed in between his teeth. You felt something tap on you then go back, was that his dick? Heavy breathing was heard from him as his you would hear his breathing stop then go again the go but shake as he let out the air. Soft moans were pulled from his mouth, you just watched as he fell apart right in front of you his hands around your waist tightened as he pulled you closer thrusting his cock up against you rubbing against your pussy. A moan loud enough for you to hear fell from his lips from the friction, staring at him butterflies filled your stomach as his thrusts became more intense as his breathing became less clear and all over the place.
His eyes fluttered, not wanting him to catch you staring you immediately shut your eyes pretending to be asleep. He moaned the loudest as his hip shuttered against you, he had woken up just after he came which was starting to seep through his pants and onto your bare thighs. “Fuck fuck fuck.” He whisper shouted not knowing what to do, he pulled the waistband away from his putting his hand down his pants. “I came?! Oh shit, she asleep?” He sighed in relief seeing you ‘sleeping’ beside him, he let go of his pants and slowly unzipped the sleeping bag and exiting it. He cursed to himself as he went to crawl over you his leg ran up against your thigh realizing that there was a wet spot on his leg, lifting up the sleeping bag he noticed his cum dripping down your thigh trailing down to your ass.
He swore he could cum again just from seeing that sight, “Oh Fuck, what do i do? Fuck i’m still hard to.” He looked down noticing the tent in his pants, picking up his phone he checked the time it was almost 2 he was exhausted and just wanted to be in his bed which would allow him to jerk off to the dream he was having about you. He wanted to jerk off so bad seeing his cum on you along with remembering his dream he had of you made him moan to himself he quickly placed his hands i’ve this mouth scared that you would hear him, digging through his bag to find something to wipe off his cum with. He found the t-shirt that had your mascara on it and decided he would use that, he slowly lifted up the sleeping bag and saw how the his cum was now on your ass cheek. He softly ran the t-shirt down your leg then around to your ass he but his lip trying to not make any noises as he ran the shirt along your ass, he went towards his bag and pulled his pants down below his thighs and trying to get his cum that was on his pants on the t-shirt.
You stirred to his side he stopped his motions and placed the t-shirt over his dick thinking that you were awake but was relieved to know that you were still ‘asleep’ you opened one eye as he turned away staring at how he struggled to grab his cock from it twitching, grabbing the base he moaned slightly pulling the shirt he was wearing in between his teeth to silence his moans. Grabbing the tip of his cock he ran the shirt along his slit wiping off all the pre cum that was leaking from his tip, getting the sudden urge of confidence you decided to say something. “Won?” You couldn’t look at his eyes but staring directly down at his boner that was twitching from lack of touch and due to the cold air, his head shot up from looking at his cock in disappointment to looking at you as you looked at his dick.
Seeing you stare at him filled with lust in your eyes made him twitch as he quickly pulled the shirt over his dick making you look at him directly in the eyes, “It’s not- I swear- Y/n-” “Relax Wonnie, I was already awake.” you said sitting up, he tilted his head to the side “Huh?!” “You were moaning rather loudly and when I tried to fall asleep you came on me.” “OH. My. God Y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to i just hand a wet dream about you and couldn’t help myself when you were that close to me, i’m so sorry if anything happened that you were uncomfortable with. I can go sleep in the car-” “Won relax it’s okay.”
His breathing became rapid you started to go near him to calm him down but as you did his cock twitched each step closer you took, “Wha- What are you doing?” I was just going to cuddle with you so maybe we can fall sleep again, “I don’t think that’s a good idea Y/n.” “Why?” He looked at his cock then slowly brought his gaze up to you, “I couldn’t control myself the first time so i definitely can’t the second now that you have seen me like this.” “I can help.” You say energetic, “WHAT?!?” “I’m being serious you said you had a wet dream about me, i can make it come true.” “No Y/n I can’t make you do this.” “But i want to.” he chewed the side of his cheek. “Y/n if you just saying that please just tell me-” You pulled him in by his shirt over to you kissing him on the lips leading you both to a messy make out as you travel down to his collarbone, moving onto his lap straddle him as his cock twitched against your stomach bringing your hand down to his dick and starting to jerk him off. He places his hands on your ass as his head tilts back and moaning from your touch, his eyes were filled with need wanting more, wanting your pussy.
Wanting to shove you down onto the sleeping bag make you beg for his cock then shoving his dick in you then fucking you senseless, but making out with him more he leaned forward slowly as he softly placed you down onto the sleeping bag that you and him had just been in. Fiddling with the bottom of his shirt you tug on it lightly as he sits up and grabs your wrists and slowly trailing them up you knew that he wanted you to take it off, soon after taking off his shirt he grabbed your waistband of your short shorts and tugged them down to your ankles as he then took them off for you.
He was mesmerized staring at you in adoration loving every movement you were doing, he stared at your panties which had a tiny pink bow right in the middle his fingers ran through the loops of the bow as you took your sweatshirt off. “So pretty.” He said playing with the bow and waistband placing his hand inside your panties rubbing your clit as you ran your fingers long his slit, he grabbed his dick and ran it along the outline of your pussy. You both moaned from the sudden stimulation from him dry humping your pussy slowly, you moved your panties to the side taking his dick in your hands and running it along your bare pussy. “Please need to be in you, i’ll be good i swear.” “You have a condom?” he shook his head but rubbed his cock along your pussy lips, “Just the tip then, no more then that.” Instantly spitting on his tip for lube as he started slowly pushing in the head of his cock moaning loud enough you thought the birds in the trees could hear, you placed you hand over his mouth to shush him.
He slowly started to move in and out of your pussy one hand grabbing onto your tit for more support while his other hand was jerking off the base of his cock, “Y/n need more, need to feel more of you please.” “Fine but I do the moving so lay down.” he quickly obeys your order and lays down on the sleeping bag. Cock straight up in the air waiting for you twitching due to the anticipation getting up you crawled over to him and got on top of him straddling his lap your pussy just inches away from his dick, grabbing his base he moaned from your hand on him while you aligned him up to your entrance. You kissed him just hovering above him, he wrapped his arms around you bear hugging you as he pushed his cock up into you bottoming you out making you moan from the sudden feeling of him filling you up. Whines fell from his mouth talking about how good you feel, how so hard he is for you, can stay in you forever, never wants to leave this position and how he wants to feel you cum around his cock. “Please Y/n need to feel you cum around me, it’s all i’ve ever wanted, need you so bad it hurts please can i move?” Nodding your head he thrusts into you two times slow and taking his time but on his third thrust he pushed so hard up into you while his hips kept fucking up into you fast, during one of his rapid movements his cock fell out of you leaving a whine from his lips.
“Your so perfect, I’ve always wanted to bend you over those desks and fuck the attitude out of you.” He huffed and kissed your ear keeping his heavy breathing right by your ears, he moaned in your ear shocking you but it was because of how you were clenching on him cause of his moaning louder and squeeze you harder his cock started twitching in you, you started to rub your clit as you would clench on him more. He loved the sensation of your pussy squeezing around him, you stared to sit up he let go of you and placed his hands in your waist you brought your fingers up to his nipples as he stopped his movements to roll his head back as his body rolled back to his dick making his movements continue even header this time. “Y/nn- I gott- I gotta cum-” “Then cum.” “Where do you want it?” You started to think about his question thinking about where it would be the easiest place to clean the mess up after. “Y/n I n-need an answer- now!”
His hands went below you to be ready to pull out and cum where you tell him to, “Just cum in me.” “I’m not playing Y/n tell me now.” “In me.” you slammed down on his hips, “I’m not gonna c-cum until you tell me somewhere else, please Y-Y/n need to so bad. If you w-want it in you can w-we please-e talk about this first.” getting off of him you brought your head down around his dick as he took both sides of your head and thrusted up into your mouth not caring how you gagged below him. After he finished cumming you looked up at him as his cum was dripping down your chin, picking it up with your finger and putting it back in your mouth then swallowing all of it. “Thank you so much, I mean it Y/n.” “You weren’t that bad.” he looked down disappointed, “Hey i’m just kidding I loved it you did so good.” you tackled him with a hug laying on him. “I was a virgin by the way.” he said looking down at you, putting your hands on top of one another placing your elbows on either side of his body you responded saying, “I know, usually if a guy isn’t really a virgin they just cum in her no questions asked and it was your wet dream whining that gave it away for me, but it was so cute.” you smiled big from ear to ear. “Did i do good?” “You did great, we should do it again some time!”
He pulled his arms around you turning to his still holding onto you as you cuddled into his chest right before falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. “Goodnight Y/n.” He kissed your forehead before falling asleep holding you.
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hs-is-loml · 5 months
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You Know This. (cl16)
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Pairing: Charles Leclerc x best friend!Reader
Summary: moments of charles and reader throughout the years that show they are so obviously meant for each other so carlos gives them a small push. (they are basically together but without the title...)
Warnings: mentions of Jules and Hervé so little angst but the majority is fluff! one kiss? lando swears. cute couple moments of two idiots UNEDITED
a/n: almost forgot how to write compared to the social media AUs i've been doing... hope you enjoy :)
all translations of french below
Chérie = darling
masterlist
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19 years old
You stared out the window overlooking the streets of Baku until you heard a sigh from across the room.
“I’m so tired. Is it even worth going through this weekend?” Charles admitted as you looked over to him running his hands over his face while he took a seat on the edge of the hotel bed. “I don’t know if I’ll make it through.”
“No one will blame you if you don’t,” you said walking over to stand in front of him. 
“That’s what they all expect isn’t it?” 
“You’re doing more than enough just being here,” you brought your hands to his face and gently rubbed your thumb along his jaw. 
“I miss him, Y/n. How am I supposed to continue without him?” he whispered while he wrapped his arms around your frame and pulled you closer to lean his head against your stomach. 
You could tell that he had finally reached a breaking point from holding out on his own emotions as he helped everyone in the family with theirs. You knew that he was staying strong for Pascale and Arthur while Lorenzo was handling everything for Hervé’s funeral. When he asked you to accompany him for this race, you said yes without any doubts crossing your mind.   
You soon feel his shoulders shake as he lets out soft sobs. “You continue for him. Just like you have done for Jules, they’re going to watch your legacy grow together. One day you’ll be driving in that red car placing poles and winning races. You will make it through this,” you played with the hair at the nape of his neck as you reassured him.
You were aware that he had told Hervé a few weeks ago that he had signed with Ferrari already. In the past few years, it had always been the goal. Everyone understood how crucial it was for him to make that come true.
“You can’t be sure of that.”
“I know, but I believe in you. We all do. It’s only a matter of time.”
“What would I do without you?” he lifted up his head to look at you.
“Well, it’s a good thing I never plan on leaving you,” you leaned down to press a gentle kiss on the crown of his head. 
"I'll never let you go."
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20 years old
You were talking with Andrea and Lorenzo near the Alfa Romeo motorhome while you all waited for Charles to finish with media day. “How do you think he’s doing with the news?” you anxiously looked around in the hope of seeing him heading your way. “The media has gone wild when the contact got out that he signed with Ferrari.”
“Probably basking in the attention,” Lorenzo laughed. “You know how long he’s waited for this.”
“That boy never fails to catch the camera either,” Andrea added while you covered your mouth with your hand trying to stifle your laugh when you realized that Charles was finally done for the day. 
Charles came to your side snaking an arm around your waist and teasingly poked you, “What are you three laughing about you?” 
“You,” all of you replied, causing him to gasp in fake annoyance. 
“I know ma chérie would never do such a thing,” he shook his head at the two men. “Enzo, look how bad of an influence you are.” Which was Andrea’s queue to quietly leave before he was targeted by the young driver too. He took Lorenzo along with him as the older brother gaped at the accusation. 
You both started to head to his driver’s room to gather his things before driving back to the hotel. “How was it?” you asked him while you took out his phone from your purse.
“A lot. It feels like it’s never ending and everyone keeps congratulating,” he smiled and reached out for the phone. 
“I’ve only heard of all the good things so far,” you tell him and hand the phone back to him. 
You had begun to look for your jacket, and it was almost as if he had read your mind, “It’s right here, I’ve got it.”
As you two walked out of the paddock, there were still crowds of fans and photographers lingering around the area hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the drivers. People started to whisper and squeal when they saw Charles place his hat on your head allowing you to shield your face from the now flashing cameras. 
“Who is she?”
“Aww, that’s so sweet!”
“They must be dating.” 
“Charles! Over here!”
“Can you sign this for me please!”
You listened to all the hollers from the crowd as you got into the car, “Wow.”
“You okay?” Charles softly asked and glanced at you before starting to drive back to the hotel.
“Were they always like that while you were in F2 and I’ve never noticed?” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 
“I’m not sure,” he chuckled at your reaction. 
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21 years old
“He has one more corner!” you held onto Andrea’s arm anxiously looking at the screen.
“MERCEDES THREW EVERYTHING AT HIM TODAY… CHARLES LECLERC HAS COPED BRILLIANTLY!” you heard from the speakers.
“HE’S GOT IT!” one of the crew members screamed when they saw Charles shoot down to the line.
“HE WINS IN SPA, HE WINS IN MONZA! CHARLES LECLERC IS THE WINNER OF THE 2019 ITALIAN GRAND PRIX!” David Croft announced as Charles crossed the finish line. He had just won in Monza in front of the infamous Tifosi. 
You felt yourself get pushed to the front of the barrier as people started rushing to see the winner. The momentous scene couldn’t have been better. He had just ended the nine-year winless streak in Monza and scored his second consecutive race win. All you could hear in the hectic moment was the Ferrari crew chanting out in Italian for Charles. The crowds of fans roared out in cheers and the stands filled with raised Ferrari and Italian flags. 
You will never forget the moment he jumped down from on top of his car and made his way over to you. His hands found your sides as you held the sides of his helmet. “You did it,” your smile wide and eyes filled with tears as you focused on him. 
“For them,” he told you tenderly.
“For them,” you repeated and placed a kiss right where you thought the corner of his mouth would have been. The crew reached over to congratulate him, and the cameras were pointed directly at him wanting to capture the moment. 
The podium ceremony was scintillating. The crew, media, and Tifosi all packed in to see their winner. Andrea knew to keep you close to the front knowing that Charles would want to see you more than anyone else. It wasn’t only you looking up at him in admiration though it seemed like the world stopped for a moment when he blew a kiss back down to you from the podium.
Your cheeks flushed from the action and beamed as you met his eyes, “I love you,” you mouthed to him hoping he could read your lips from the stand. 
“I love you,” he replied back.  
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22 years old
With COVID delaying the F1 season and everyone having to quarantine. You and Charles had decided to move in together into his apartment to keep each other company. It wasn’t hard to fall into a routine for you two. 
“Y/n! Can you bring me water please?” you heard a yell from Charles’ gaming room.
You got up from the couch and set aside your book heading into the kitchen. Decided to bring him a small pack of crackers as well along with the water since he had been on stream for a while. You brought the plate to him which he thanked you for and gave your hand three small squeezes. 
The simple interaction caused the chat to make tons of new comments flow through regarding you. Over the past few years, you found yourself more comfortable with your life in front of the camera because of his career, and it makes you look back to the times of Charles’ first year in F1. You could now give a small wave to the camera before you planned to head back out to the door.
“That’s not fair,” you heard Lando complain from the screen, causing you to halt in your footsteps to listen closely. “You have Y/n to bring you stuff, and you don’t even need to stop the game.”
“Lando’s just jealous he doesn’t have anybody,” George snickered.
“Damn right, I am,” Lando huffed out. “I want a Y/n.”
Charles noticed you silently laughing and he motioned for you to come back over wanting to tease Lando a bit more. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in closer to be in the frame, “Too bad there’s only one of her.”
Lando started muttering about how it was not his fault that he was alone during these times all while you shook your head at their antics. Alex and George continued the jokes creating a newfound argument that moved the topic away from you and Charles. “What do you want for dinner?” you questioned him softly not wanting to disrupt the chaotic banter from the others.
“Will you make carbonara?”
“DID YOU HEAR THAT??” Lando pointed to the screen baffled. “SHE EVEN COOKS DINNER FOR HIM! WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN? Y/N, WILL YOU COOK FOR ME NEXT TIME?”
“Sure, Lando. Once quarantine ends we can plan something out,” you replied with a sweet smile towards the camera.
“YES!” he cheered out at your response.
“Once we get back to racing, will you bring your cookies again?” George asked excitedly.
“Or the muffins!” Alex added on. 
“I’ll go and bring them if you bring Lily, Alex!” you answered them.
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24 years old
You told Charles earlier in the week telling him that you couldn’t make it to the Bahrain Grand Prix due to work. Really you just wanted to surprise him, and you had been in contact with Carlos planning it out.
“I think he is getting suspicious of me,” Carlos told you over the phone as you got your bags together waiting for Carlos’ cousin to come and get you from the airport.
“Well, I’ve only sent him short messages for the past few days and maybe ignored a couple of his calls because I can’t keep lying to him…” you explained which caused the man on the other side of the phone to snicker at your dispense. 
“I swear you want him to kill me, Y/n. Once he finds out.”
“Find out what? Who are you talking to all the time, mate?” you listened to Charles continuously question Carlos.
"No one!" Carlos quipped.
"Is that Y/n?" Charles asked him.
"No, it's my sister..."
“Good luck!” you hung up the call quickly and got into the car with Carlos Oñoro.
“Charles found out?” he started heading to the hotel that the Ferrari team was staying at. 
“Hopefully not yet, but Carlos was talking about how he’s on to him already.”
A notification went off on your phone and you saw it was a text message from Carlos.
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You opened your messages with Charles and came up with something quick to text him about.
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at the circuit 
“Hermosa! You made it!” Carlos exclaimed when he saw you walking towards the group of the drivers that just got out of the media pen. "I swear he was going to choke me earlier."
You laughed at his remark and went over to his side to whisper to him, “He doesn’t know I’m here yet, right?”
He tugged you a bit closer and kept his hand on your upper back. He spoke into your ear in a hushed tone while carefully looking around, “Not a clue, but you remember what I said over text? You say he’s not your boyfriend yet, so let’s mess with him just a little. It’ll prove something to you.”
“Prove what-” 
You were cut off by Lando as he finally took notice of your presence, “Y/n! Tell me you brought them!”
“Yes, Lando,” you smiled, taking a small packaged bag of cookies out of your bag before you could even hand them to him. He had snatched it and already begun opening the bag. “Yours are back at the hotel,” you told Carlos who was trying to take one from Lando.
“GIVE ME ONE!” George yelled at Lando who took his chance and ran off with his cookies. 
“NO!” causing George to chase after the Mclaren driver. 
Another group of drivers came over as they had just finished with their interviews. You saw Charles talking with Sebastian but he didn’t see you yet. “Sweetheart! A pleasant surprise, Charles was just talking about how you couldn’t make it,” Sebastian said with a smile as he walked past you with Fernando. 
“Hello, Sebastian,” you smiled back and felt a breath near your ear. 
“How long do you think it will take him to drag you away?” Carlos said in a low voice.
“He wouldn’t,” you mutter back.
“Oh, yes he would. Good luck with him,” Carlos grinned as Charles had stormed over to you two and grabbed a hold of your wrist.
“Charlie!” you yelped as you tried to keep up with his pace towards the Ferrari’s motorhome and into his driver’s room. 
He shut the door behind him, “So you can text Carlos but not me?”
"What are you talking about?" you acted confused."
"I know you were on call with Carlos earlier. But you couldn't even answer mine this morning?"
“It was supposed to be a surprise, Charles,” you huffed out.
“What a surprise that you and Carlos are together now?” he scoffed at the mere thought.
You began to laugh aloud which caused him to frustrate even further, “E-ex-cuse me?” you said through your laughter.
“This is not funny, Y/n.”
“Charles, it’s funny you think that I would even do anything with Carlos in the first place,” you pointed out to him while setting your bag down on a chair. 
You heard his footsteps come closer to you until you felt him press against your back, “Are you not?”
You turned around to face him and took his face in your hands, “Of course not.”
“Good,” he placed his hands on your waist rubbing up and down your sides.
“And why is that?” you raised your eyebrow at him.
“Y-you kno-o-ow b-b-because you’r-re…” he trailed off a stuttering mess caught off guard by your question.
You stroke his jaw with your thumbs and brought his face closer to yours, “Charles, I’m yours. You know this.”
He leaned down and closed the gap between your lips in a long-awaited kiss. He kissed you gently as if he were testing the waters. You smiled against his lips and moved to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands moved to your hips. You moved forward slightly to lean more into him and he let out a groan against your mouth. He stilled in the kiss, keeping your hips in place from moving further. 
“No more surprises, okay?" he said as you separated.
"Okay, but no more jumping to conclusions either."
"You are going to give me gray hairs early, Chérie," he exasperated.
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scuderiahoney · 2 months
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🍓 lover // strawberry wine valentine
a mini Valentine’s Day strawberry wine blurb based on fun fact #5 from this post! Words in italics are said in Dutch!
Max has been speaking Dutch to you since the day you met, to varying degrees. He’s called you lots of nicknames in the language, ones you’ve wished you understood.
“Hi, schatje.”
“How was your week, liefje?”
It had taken you far too long to catch on to the fact these weren’t just friendly nicknames. Once you did realize, he moved on to full sentences, sometimes full one sided conversations in Dutch. It drove you absolutely nuts.
Now, on your first Valentine’s Day together as husband and wife, you’re much more practiced in Dutch.
When he wakes up, rolls over, and says “good morning, my love,” in Dutch, you respond with a “good morning, baby,” in English.
Later in the day, you’re out for a walk through a park with him. His hand is in yours, the air lightly chilled, and you lean into him. He points across the grass to where a dog is running around, a giant stick in his mouth. He laughs, eyes crinkling. You’re reminded again how much you love to see him happy like this. How lucky you are to spend time with him like this. He’s yours. You’re his. Valentines, forever.
It’s like he knows what you’re thinking, because he leans close and kisses your temple. You giggle and lean into him. He’s your favorite person in the whole world, you think. Nobody else you’d rather spend time with.
“I’m the luckiest person in the world,” he says. It’s Dutch, but you understand it.
“No, I’m the luckiest,” you say back , and he laughs brightly.
“Your Dutch is getting good!” He says, brushing his thumb against your cheek.
You laugh and continue your walk, fingers interlace. When the wind blows, you barely feel the chill.
Later, he takes you out to dinner at your favorite restaurant, a table for two reserved in a secluded corner. There’s strawberry wine on the table before you even sit down, and it makes you smile wide and soft. He holds your hand through the whole dinner, and you hook your foot around his ankle under the table. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted, really. A life shared with him. The way he looks at you with soft eyes makes your chest ache in the best way.
“The love of my life,” he says, smirking like he thinks you won’t understand. “My pretty strawberry.”
You grin and lean close. The language feels foreign on your tongue, but you’ve been practicing for months, now. “I love you, Max. More than strawberries, even.”
His eyes light up, and then he laughs, squeezing your hand and leaning over the table. He kisses you quickly, a light peck on the lips, his cheeks turning red the way in that you love.
He shakes his head. “You learned? For me?”
You nod proudly. “How’s my pronunciation? Your mum and sister have been helping me.”
His grin widens. “It’s good. Very good. You’re…” he sighs, shakes his head again, this look on his face that you can’t explain. “Fuck, I love you.”
“I love you, too,” you repeat.
You finish dinner with happy smiles and even happier hearts. He suggests strawberry shortcake for dessert. With a smirk on your face, you suggest taking dessert to go. He laughs and agrees, raising his brows suggestively.
On the way home, he turns to you, arm around your shoulders, and says, “Du hast kein Deutsch gelernt, oder?”
You look at him, bewildered. He laughs and shakes you gently by the shoulders.
“Perfekt,” he says. “Weißt du, ich kann es kaum erwarten, dich nach Hause zu bringen. Und ins Bett.”
You roll your eyes at him and elbow him. “I hate you.”
“No you don’t!” He teases. “You love me.”
When he stops on the sidewalk and kisses you, you can’t find it in you to complain about his speaking German. You’re just happy to be his.
translation:
“You didn't learn German, did you?”
“Perfect,” he says. “You know, I can’t wait to get you home. And in bed.”
Taglist: @4-mula1 @struggling-with-delia @lovekt @i-wish-this-was-me @forzalando @iloveyou3000morgan @callsign-scully @ggaslyp1
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bystarlightlore · 8 months
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first things first: my boys are so touchy & affectionate with each other & it's the cutest, most adorable thing on planet earth.
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i die.
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moving on...
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sweet alex, he’s all heart. prattling along, just as happy as he can be. 
it’s integral to watch our sunshine boy in this scene. 
the book & film are both from alex’s perspective, but there’s one thing that we’re afforded between the pages that doesn’t fully make it on screen — his emotional & cognitive layers. & that’s not anybody’s fault & it doesn’t make the film any less incredible, that’s just how adaptations occur sometimes. you can’t translate everything on screen & honestly, that’s the way it should be. some things can just stay in the written story.
tzp did a marvelous job of pulling some of those pieces from the story & threading them into alex’s movements, expressions, & actions. he gave us everything that he could & he did it phenomenally. i can’t imagine anyone else being our alex. i can’t get over how perfectly he was casted.
all this to reiterate, it’s so key to watch alex here.
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we get to see some of his layers. he goes from playful, to pensive, to deeply sincere — “i’ve never felt this way about anyone” — & from there, he shifts into an incredibly exposed emotional space & you see him gather himself, working through his words & trying to share his heart in the most fluent way he can.
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“it’s like there’s a rope attached to my chest & it keeps pulling me towards you.”
there’s never been a moment in his life where can’t share exactly how he feels. he’s always been free to do so. for alex, there was never a question about if he’d tell henry, the question was what he’d tell henry, & once he solved the what, he could proceed with the when. 
his mom asked if he felt ‘forever’ about henry & he didn’t consciously know at the time. (i’m a firm believer in the fact that they’ve been in love all along but that’s not the topic right now.) he watches henry in the bar & that’s where he figures it out. the next step is to tell him. point a to b. no detours. 
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“& it feels so right”
all heart, all the time. our sunshine boy.
i don’t see fear here, i rarely do in alex, but i do see timidity. so with our eyes on him in this scene, we watch him waffle through his words, barreling toward the inevitable.
he stays in physical contact with henry the entire time — running his hands along his forearm, tangling their fingers together, tracing circles on henry’s wrist & back. i think he needs it here just as much as he wants it.
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the most that alex has ever discovered & understood about himself has been through touching henry. he knows himself best when he’s skin-to-skin with the man he loves.
this moment cannot be any different.
—- “what i mean to say is, henry, i—“ 
i’d give anything to hear it come out of his mouth fully here. i want to know how it sounds under the texas sun — someplace as bright & warm as he is.
alex has never had to fear his own heart; even in the moments where he wasn't sure where it was going. after the NYE kiss, he went to nora to grapple with his feelings & he tried to talk to henry about it, but he never, ever shied away from how he felt. he wasn't raised to. following that giant, gorgeous heart is in his nature. he's always been encouraged to be exactly who he is.
the same cannot be said for our prince.
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our mythic, beautiful boy. he literally looks like he's crumbling here. mournful, finite cracks in his glistening, alabaster stone. an absolute masterpiece withered by expectation, tainted legacies, hopeless hopes, & crippling fears.
he has to shy away. he doesn't believe or even entertain the idea that he might have a choice. to be so in love, but so trapped that your love can tangle its roots into the earth, but never bloom.
distance & longing take up far too much space in those stunning hazel eyes. it's all too much for him here. no fight or fawn, just freeze and flight. he did it all in expression: from pure bliss, to the dawn of fear, to desperate wanting, to heartbreak, to retreat. (nicholas galitzine, you wonderfully gifted creature)
in our prince’s head, it doesn’t matter how bad he wants to hear the words. it doesn’t matter if he’s loved alex & wanted alex all this time. his heart — their hearts — are of no consequence to the trajectory of their lives. & so, despite all this time; despite everything that’s passed between them in the past year — the firsts & the tender moments, the texts, calls, & emails, the falling in love — henry does the one thing he’s always had to do, lock himself up & run away. just like he did on new year’s eve.
alex has spent a year working him loose; making him feel as free & loved & authentic as he possibly can. he’s kneaded every tight curve, massaged every tensioned inch. & henry has put in the same amount of work learning to allow himself to be cared for. for someone to see his bright places, his passions, his wittiness, tenacity, & sparks.
our boys have grown so much & yet sadly, in a moment, terror bends henry back into an ill -fitting place.
the progress isn’t lost, just tucked away. fear is one hell of a keeper.
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& you see him dressed up again in his suit. ramrod straight, prim & proper, the closed-off prince of england’s hearts that climbed out of his car to meet alex at kensington a year ago. a man of few words & little feeling. because there’s too much risk in feeling. feeling leads you to a dock in the middle of the lake in texas, listening to the man you love willing & ready to love you back, but you can’t be overjoyed — because you’re terrified.
grab your tissues, kids. im sure as hell grabbing mine.
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juniperskye · 9 months
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The Story of Us
Sneak Peek: Three years, seven months and twenty-four days. That is how long you had been with Aaron Hotchner. That also happens to be the same amount of time that Aaron had been lying to his team.
Aaron Hotchner x Reader
Fluff/Angst
Word count: 3468
Warnings: Age gap, pregnancy, mention of divorce, mention of Haley and her death, mention of child abduction case (no details), pregnancy complications, mentions of hospitals. Use of y/n (once I think). I think that's everything - let me know if I missed anything else.
Not edited - please be kind.
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
Three years, seven months and twenty-four days. That is how long you had been with Aaron Hotchner. That also happens to be the same amount of time that Aaron had been lying to his team.
It really wasn’t that Aaron wanted to hide you from them, he just had to keep you safe. He needed to keep you separated from the horrors the plagued his career.
When he met you, he honestly wasn’t sure what would come of it, you were quite a bit younger than him, only having just begun your ascent into adulthood. It wasn’t until he got to know you that he knew he was hooked. You had him wrapped around your finger and all you had done was be your most authentic self. Something he envied.
On your first official date he’d learned so much about you, you were twenty-five, you owned your own café, you had moved to Virginia just a year prior from Arizona, you were divorced, and you were a single mother. You had explained to Aaron that the pregnancy had been unplanned and ultimately was the beginning of the end of your marriage. Your daughter, Norah, was four and the divorce had been long been finalized when you began dating.
The two of you had agreed to take things slow, seeing as you both had been through so much in your previous relationships. It had taken him some time, but he did eventually explain what had happened to Haley – He had spared you of the more gruesome details, but he explained that his job was dangerous, and it is what had led to their demise, so he gave you an out. Once he had finished his tangent you had caressed his cheek and leaned in and kissed him, explaining to him that you understood and didn’t plan on going anywhere.
You and Aaron have not had it easy over the last three and a half years, after just a year of dating you had moved in together. That hadn’t been easy, you had to adjust to his lifestyle, and he had to adjust to yours. It was hard work finding the balance of your newly blended family, but you had managed – coming out on the other side even stronger than before.
Three months after moving in you had found the ring. It hadn’t been intentional by any means. You were doing the laundry on your day off and while placing his socks in their designated drawer you had noticed the little velvet box. It sat there mocking you as you just gawked at it. You were definitely ready to marry Aaron, but you questioned whether he was truly ready to marry you. You had been together for just over a year and the only family of his you had met was Jack, Sean and Jessica. How could he possibly want to add you and Norah to his family if he was too afraid to introduce you to them.
That night when Aaron got home you confronted him, you had waited until dinner was finished and the kids were tucked into bed, not wanting them to be a part of a conversation of such nature. It started off as you simply explaining to him how you had found the ring – adamant to inform him that you had not been snooping, you had found it purely by accident. That is when the word vomit started, you just couldn’t stop yourself from droning on about how you loved him and you are so excited that he wants to take this step, but you can’t help but feel like maybe you have pressured him into this and that you would stop talking about the future and just take it day by day because you couldn’t live with yourself if you had forced him into this decision and you would never want him to resent you because of it.
Before you could get another word out Aaron had practically shouted your name, it had been the only way to get you to stop talking and listen to him in that moment. He had asked you where on earth you had gotten the idea that he felt forced or pressured from, he was so heartbroken to know that you were feeling this way. This is when you explained your theory about him not being ready to introduce you to his family, let alone add you to it. Aaron’s face fell at your words, everything coming together in his head. He looked into your eyes and the walls he had spent so long building up after Haley’s death, came crumbling down. He reassured you that he wanted nothing more than to make you and Norah a permanent part of the Hotchner family (if you’d let him) and he explained to you why he had continued to keep his personal life so separate from his professional one. This time around he gave you some of the details surrounding Haley’s death and it was your turn to have the pieces fall into place.
Your conversation ended in an engagement as well as an understanding that for his piece of mind and your safety, things would continue to be separate. With the clause that Aaron would at least tell you about his job a little more and he would tell you all about his team (even if they didn’t know about you). You wanted to feel connected to him completely and in order to do so, you needed to know about the other half of his life.
Eight months later you were married, after another six months you had officially adopted Jack and Aaron had officially adopted Norah. The Hotchner family was complete! Or so you had thought. Your family had enjoyed six-ish months of bliss after the adoptions had been finalized before your world had turned upside down. After a night of celebration, (Jack winning his soccer game, Norah’s A+ on her spelling test, your new menu, and Aaron’s completion of his most recent case) the two of you had enjoyed a particularly heated evening which leads to you – three weeks later staring at the stupid digital letters spelling out PREGNANT. Aaron and you had both mentioned wanting a big family, but you had assumed that the four of you were what he meant.
Aaron took the news well, honestly, you’re pretty sure he was more excited than you were. The two of you talked about how you would make the announcement, both to the kids and to your extended family. You also scheduled the first appointment to check and see if this was really happening.
After that first appointment, in which you confirmed that you were in fact pregnant, you and Aaron had begun planning. You talked about potential baby names, and you began looking at houses. At your eight-week appointment (which you’d gone to solo as Aaron had been working) you’d gotten some news that would really change things…you were worried about what this would mean for you and Aaron.
When he finally arrived home five days later, you wasted no time in breaking the news. You were having triplets, and you had officially been labeled as a high-risk pregnancy. Aaron sat stunned for a while, so long that you had started to worry. You knew he needed time to process this, but you really needed him too, truthfully, you were scared. Your pregnancy with Norah had not been easy and that was one baby. Here you were now trying to fathom how difficult this pregnancy and birth would be. When Aaron finally snapped out of the daze he’d fallen into, he reached for you, holding your hands in his own while reassuring you that you guys could do this, and everything would be okay.
Two months later you moved into your new home. Things had been changing faster than you could wrap your head around them and while you were so excited to be in your new home and settled with these babies that were officially four months along, you couldn’t help but succumb to that nagging feeling in the back of your mind. It had been telling you that things would not be this good forever and there was bound to be a bump in this road at some point.
The bump that came was not one you were prepared for.
Three years, seven months and twenty-four days. That is how long you had been with Aaron Hotchner. That also happens to be the same amount of time that Aaron had been lying to his team.
The Hotchner family had been settled in their new home and you were just nearing the end of your pregnancy. Aaron had been called in for a time sensitive local case – child abduction. These cases were always hard on him, having Jack and needing to leave him to work these cases, but now it wasn’t just Jack. It was Jack and Norah and your three unborn babies and you, Aaron had been feeling the pressure of this case and you could see it on his face, in the fleeting moments you’d been able to share since the case had begun three days ago.
It was time and you knew it, that all too familiar feeling, the pain coming in waves every so often. The kids were at school and Jess was out of town. The only person you could call was Aaron, and he wasn’t answering. He had been really good about attending to her calls during the pregnancy but given his current mental state and the pressure he’s under to solve and close this case, you weren’t exactly surprised that he wasn’t responsive.
There was one other person you could call. Aaron had given you his number in case of an emergency. When he gave your number to Dave with little to no explanation, Dave just smiled a nodded his head. The team had noticed the changes in Hotch as your relationship had progressed. He didn’t stay late anymore unless absolutely necessary, he had been happier, smiling more, wearing a ring again. Nobody said anything as they figured Hotch would share when he was ready…they just didn’t expect it to be nearly four years later.
So, when Dave’s phone rang, and it was your contact that had flashed across the screen, he didn’t hesitate to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi, this is David Rossi, right? Aaron gave me this number in the case of an emergency!” You rushed.
“Yes, this is Dave. You must be Y/N. Is everything alright?” Dave asked, waving off Emily’s look of confusion.
“Umm I’m just trying to get a hold of Aaron and he’s not answering and…I’m not sure how much information he gave you about me or anything, but screw it, now is not the time, I am in labor, and I need Aaron to get here like now.” You were rambling, but at this point you just didn’t care anymore, the contractions were pretty close together at this point and you were in far too much pain.
“Okay, don’t worry, we will get a hold of Aaron. What is your address, I will come and get you and drive you to the hospital. Unless you think you need an ambulance.”
“I don’t think I need an ambulance. If you or Aaron could get here to take me that would be ideal. I’m at our house, the address is 123 West Elm. The kids are both at school, someone will need to pick them up!” You were starting to panic, and Dave could tell.
“Don’t worry about that we will send someone to pick up the kids, I am on my way to you now. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you until I get there?” Dave was being so patient with you, and you couldn’t have been more grateful.
“Um, no that’s okay, I should really get my bag together and ready to go. Have you called Aaron yet?”
“Okay, you go ahead and get your bag, I will come to the door once I arrive. And I have Emily calling Aaron now, okay?”
“Okay, thank you Dave.”
“Of course. I will be there soon.”
Once he hung up the phone, he told Emily to dial Hotch’s number. She didn’t question him but ultimately, she was worried and confused by what was going on. The phone rang four times before Hotch finally answered. When he did, he immediately told Dave that they had a new lead that JJ and Morgan were actively looking into, it had been promising. Dave had to interrupt Aaron’s briefing to let him know that his wife was in labor and that they were currently headed to their house to get her to the hospital.
Aaron felt immediate panic, in more ways than one. First and foremost, his wife was in labor, and she was all alone, second this was a high-risk pregnancy and there was a chance that the four of them might not all make it through this birth, and last, his worlds that he had worked tirelessly to keep apart were officially colliding which meant your safety was now and forever compromised.
Once his brain calmed from the rapid-fire panic, he sprung into action. He’d given clear instructions; Dave was to take you to the hospital in your car while Emily drove the work issued SUV back to Quantico to continue working the case. He told Reid to continue on and if anyone were to ask, inform them that he had a family emergency. While rushing out of work and to his car he called your closest friend/coworker who had been running the café since you’d been on maternity leave, he asked if she could pick up your kids and drop them off with him at the hospital after the shop closes at 2pm. She was quick to agree and wished you a safe birth and claimed she couldn’t wait to meet the 3 peanuts!
Everyone stepped up and went to work on their respective tasks. Dave and you had gotten to the hospital in record time. You were quickly settled in a room and made as comfortable as possible. Aaron arrived with about five seconds to spare. Dave gave him a pat on his shoulder and let him know that he’d be in the waiting room to sit with your kids once they arrived as well as to see his “godchildren”. He claimed it was his right as he was the only one who knew about your relationship. Emily arrived back at Quantico and led the team through the remainder of the case which thankfully was closed within the next hour thanks to that lead JJ and Morgan had been following up on.
The next few hours went by in a flash, the case was closed with families being reunited, Jack and Norah had been dropped off with Dave, Aaron had supported you through what was arguably the most difficult childbirth known to woman (naturally birthing triplets is not recommended nor is it necessarily the safest option – unfortunately you hadn’t had a choice given how far progressed your labor had been when you’d arrived at the hospital), and the BAU team patiently waited for the announcement of your safely completed birth…only that announcement didn’t come. They sat and waited for what felt like hours before Aaron finally came out. He explained that you had hemorrhaged after the babies were delivered, the doctor had told him it had something to do with the placenta having not come out completely. Dave could see how distraught Aaron was…he couldn’t handle not knowing.
Things happened so fast, one minute you were being congratulated on bringing three beautiful babies into the world and the next doctors were scrambling to stop the bleeding. You could feel yourself fading, you had reached out for Aaron, and you were able to hold his hand for a second before he was shooed out of the room. You were taken to surgery so they could effectively stop the bleeding and remove the rest of the placenta. Thankfully surgery hadn’t taken long (to Aaron it had felt like an eternity).
The doctor came out to inform him that you were okay and had been moved to a private room along with your newborns. She explained that you would feel weak for a bit but would make a full recovery. She also let Aaron know that he and the rest of your group could go back to see you as long as they remained at an appropriate volume and that any non-family was gone by 8pm as visiting hours would be over. Aaron looked to his team.
“I know that you are all probably expecting an explanation, and while I do want to give that to you…”
“You want to go see your wife and kids.” Morgan interrupted.
Aaron smiled at how understanding his team was. “Thank you, give us a few minutes alone, then I will come and get everyone.” Aaron said as he reached to pick up Norah with his left arm and grab Jack’s hand with his right.
The team agreed and discussed going to grab snacks and coffee from the cafeteria.
Aaron made his way to your room as quickly as he could with two young children. When he arrived, relief crashed over him in a tidal wave and tears sprung to his eyes. He walked to your bedside, gently placing Norah to sit at your feet. He’d instructed Jack to sit in the chair that was on the opposite side so he would be able to see his new siblings. Aaron leaned in to kiss your forehead all the while he could hear the quiet coo’s coming from the three infants, he walked over to them, and you couldn’t help but smile. As you brushed a hand through Norah’s hair and reached to cup Jack’s cheek, you could hear Aaron whisper to the babies “You just couldn’t wait to meet your family, could you?”.
Aaron and you spent a bit of time just like this, your family, taking turns holding the babies or carefully monitoring your older children while they tried to hold the babies. Norah was elated to have three live baby dolls, while Jack seemed happy that she’d have someone new to bother all the time. Aaron huffed a laugh at their reactions and then looked to you.
“Have you thought about their names anymore?”
“I have…I think after seeing them, and seeing you with them, that they just seem right.”
“Well then, are you ready to meet everyone?”
“Yes!”
With that, Aaron made his way to the waiting room. He could see how antsy his team looked, but he couldn’t delineate if it was from wanting to meet you and the babies or from wanting to hear the story. When he posed the question to them, they had all agreed they wanted to see you and the babies first, then the two of you could explain everything. So that is what led to Aaron leading his six teammates to your room; before entering, he turned to everyone with a finger over his lips signaling for them to enter quietly.
Everyone entered the room, their eyes scanning to see you and the kids chatting quietly. You had looked up and smiled, quietly greeting the group of people you had learned so much about over the last year and a half. Hugs and congratulations were exchanged throughout the room, babies being passed from person to person, chairs being brought in from the hallway. Once everyone was comfortable the room fell silent, you could tell they were waiting for name announcements and more information about you and Aaron. You figured names were an easier start and a much shorter conversation.
“Alright, I suppose it’s time for you all to formally meet these three. Aaron and I have thought long and hard about what to name them and it has proven difficult up until this point. When I saw them for the first time, it all became clear to me. So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to David Thomas Hotchner, Millie Joy Hotchner, and Faye Emilia Hotchner.”
There were “ooohs” and “awws” throughout the room and misty eyes (though Dave swears it was an eyelash) There was discussion of who would be the godparents of which baby and plans of baby shopping over the upcoming weekend to make sure they were spoiled by all their new aunts and uncles. The team started to pose some personal questions at you, like if you had siblings or family nearby and what you did for a living and how you met Hotch.
“I guess now’s as good a time as any” you said looking over at Aaron. “The story of us…”
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multific · 10 months
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Pyramid Head x Reader
A/N: My first Pyramid Head fic! Hope you enjoy and let me know if you want more!
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He was mad. The one thing, the most important one was missing.
He arrived back and put his sword to the side when he noticed. His little Angel, his everything was gone.
You were gone and he couldn't find you.
He was mad, beyond mad, he was ready to burn Silent Hill down, again, just to find you.
He had an idea who took you. He had a very good idea who took you and he will set fire to the rain to get you back.
He marched back out with his sword in hand, his heavy steps echoed through the entire building which you called home. 
You on the other end were thrown into a room, well it was more like a cell. They tried to torture you for information.
They didn't know where you came from or who you were, but you didn't say a word. They didn't need to know that you lived with the mightiest beast of them all. 
He loved you and you loved him, it was a simple relationship. Even if he didn't talk, you understood him perfectly.
You still remember when you first saw him how scared you were, you surely thought this will be the end for you, you accidentally stumbled across the town and were thrown into this hell of monsters.
You assumed these people didn't know what you meant to Pyramid Head, but they will find out real soon. 
You weren't even there for more than a day, yet they took you out almost hourly to ask you the same stupid questions.
"How did you get here?"
"Is there a way out?"
"HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE, BITCH?!"
Always the same stupid questions, but no matter how many times they hit you, you never answered. You could tell they were new, their hiding place was so obvious.
You didn't even tell them your name when they asked.
They didn't deserve to know.
Then you heard the steps, they threw you out, hoping for the beast to claim your soul but all of them watched in awe when you ran into his arms.
Upon seeing your injuries, especially the ones around your wrists, he saw red.
You didn't watch. You only walked away back to the hotel you called home.
But you still heard their screams as you walked away.
You arrived home, Pyramid closely followed you as you watched him sit down on your bed, his size making the bed bend as he patted his leg. Knowing what it meant you headed to sit down in your usual place.
"I was home when they got me. I didn't leave, I think they saw me through the window."
You felt his arms tighten around you.
You were scared but you also knew that he was going to save you, it was only a matter of time. 
He lifted his other hand and ran his thumb over your injured wrist.
"It doesn't hurt as much as you would think." you said, trying to reassure him.
He slowly nodded.
You moved slightly so your head can rest on his shoulder, trying to slowly relax and get some sleep.
He held you so close and secure you fell asleep almost instantly.
To others, this place was hell, filled with monsters, but to you, it was home. 
A home where your love was.
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Taglist: @fleursirvart​ @greenarrowhead​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @sincerelyfan​ @theoneanna​ @aestheticsandmarvel​ @rororo06​ @castellandiangelo​ @destynelseclipsa​ @spilledinkindumpster​ @capsiclesdoll​ @puknow​ @alwayshave-faith​ @alex12948​ @lxdyred​  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​ @praline357​ @trshngyn​ @avengers-r-us​ @violet-19999​ @top1bbgloak​   @manduse​   @jacalineiscomingforyou​  @mandoloriancookie​ @noname2246​
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS
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burr-ell · 2 months
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Conflict, Communication, and Chemistry: A Laura and Marisha PC Appraisal
A couple of people have observed across all three main campaigns that Laura and Marisha consistently make characters that ultimately don't seem to fully understand each other for various reasons, and their characters' chemistry (or lack thereof) is an outgrowth of that. And until recently, I thought that was one of those things that I personally saw but not everyone else was obligated to view the same way—chemistry is often subjective, and it’s for that reason that I tend not to take seriously a lot of the common shipping-based arguments about chemistry.
But in the most recent 4-Sided Dive, Marisha, Laura, and Sam said this:
MARISHA: I have enjoyed…of course, like, delving into the relationship is always fun, but then relationship tension is also fun. LAURA: Yeah, I feel like you guys [points between Marisha and Sam] are really big on—you really like relationship conflict too. You guys talk about that a lot. SAM: Of course. Because I don’t have any in my real life. LAURA: I’m terrified of conflict. That translates to the game as well, I don’t like conflict. SAM: You don’t like conflict? Even in the game, in this dramatic storytelling game that we’ve made together? LAURA: No! I don’t like fighting! SAM: You just want everything to go fine? LAURA: Yes!
And I think that made things click into place for me. This is the reason why their characters have this through-line, because their approaches to conflict bleed through to their character choices. Laura's characters’ issues tend to be internal; they tend not to have prolonged fights with other characters, and their arcs are often person-vs-self stories about emotional walls and struggling with self-centeredness in some capacity. Marisha's characters, on the other hand, are upfront about their problems and are completely unafraid to go toe-to-toe with other party members, and their character development is often a product of a straightforward person-vs-person or person-vs-society story about overcoming their physical obstacles. And it’s part of why their current characters’ relationship has played out in a way that’s strange and off-kilter, because their interactions do not read to me like the players really understood this about each other before the public talk show discussion quoted above.
In Campaign 1, Vex and Keyleth’s relationship is conspicuous by its absence; even within their superficial commonalities, they are not particularly drawn to each other beyond circumstance. Vex is unquestionably the leader of Vox Machina insofar as they have one, and she does this by consistently finding a compromise—when the group is arguing about their best course of action in Whitestone or Westruun or Draconia or the Nine Hells, Vex is the one who mediates and strategizes their way out. She's very good at seeing all sides of an issue, threading the needle, and coming to a decision that keeps the group happy and together. The problem is that she tends to do this at the expense of her personal needs being met; she bottles up a lot of her emotions and issues and she struggles with letting people in, and has to work on not internalizing and holding grudges.
Keyleth, on the other hand, consistently takes stances and isn't afraid to be the moral compass of the party, like when she notices how dark everyone is becoming during the Briarwood arc and fights to correct it. She lets herself feel what she feels rather than pushing it away, which allows her to overcome the physical and mental challenges of her Aramente and affords her more emotional freedom and honesty. Sometimes, though, these traits work against her—she will argue a point and continue to belabor it until someone else steps in; she can be self-righteous due to her own naïveté; and her emotional openness can be poorly-timed and lead her into indecision and dithering. One of the few one-on-one conversations Keyleth and Vex have is after Vex dies and is brought back in the Sunken Tomb, and Vex is quickly exasperated at having to deal with Keyleth’s feelings when she’s the one who died and she’s just trying to piece together what happened.
Vex is often frustrated by Keyleth's hardline beliefs and feelings and has to compromise around them; Keyleth sees conflict in a much more literal way than the internalization and masking that Vex does, and as a result never really digs deeper into who Vex is as a person. By the end of the campaign, they call each other sisters, which I think is appropriate—they're two people who care about each other but have little in common, tied together by the single factor of Vax. Outside of that commonality, there's little reason for them to be especially close the way they are with other members of the party; if there was, they’d have been close at any point throughout the previous 114 episodes.
Beau and Jester form a stronger friendship in Campaign 2, but they seem to understand just enough about each other to get along well while not being able to truly see each other. Jester is cheerful and goofy by nature, but she also projects that particular image in order to make the people around her happy and keep them together. While she will speak her mind, she doesn’t tend to stand at one end or the other of the ideological and political spectrum of issues faced by the Nein and is simply happy to have an adventure and sow some chaos. Even when having difficulties with the Traveler, Jester is willing to work through it and find a solution that works for both of them in order to preserve the relationship.
Beau, meanwhile, approaches the world abrasively and aggressively and is a bit too prepared to burn bridges with people if she thinks they aren’t worth it. While she recognizes the nuances of the conflict between the Empire and the Dynasty, she’s ultimately loyal to the Cobalt Soul’s mission of using knowledge to fight corruption. She’s perfectly happy to butt heads with Caleb or Fjord or Molly if she thinks they’re in the wrong, and her cut-your-losses mentality puts her in conflict with how important the Traveler is to Jester.
This difference is thrown into especially sharp relief not only by how they deal with their respective fathers, but also the response they think the other should have. Jester wants to reconnect with the Gentleman and for him to repair his and Marion’s relationship, while Beau has fully written off Thoreau and has no interest in reconciling. Jester is upset at Beau’s suggestion that she just forget her dad and not put effort into someone who won’t do the same for her, while Beau is less than impressed with Jester’s suggestion that Thoreau really does care about her and it might be worth it to patch things up, and the upshot of it all is that the way everything plays out makes it clear that both of them have badly misread the other’s situation.
Beau, like Keyleth before her, doesn’t seem to understand that Jester is masking a lot of insecurities and wants someone to see her for who she is and not an idealized version of her; Jester actually stops confiding in Beau after Beau tells her she doesn’t need Artagan and that she’s the actual god. Jester, meanwhile, is unwilling to set aside her dreams and fantasies and is at her happiest when she can roam and adventure freely, something for which Beau would not set aside her responsibilities and beliefs in the mission of the Cobalt Soul. They’re still good friends, but going their separate ways is a benefit to both of them.
And now we have Imogen and Laudna, whose relationship felt lacking well before it became romantic. A lot of time and energy has been spent by multiple people trying to articulate exactly why that is, and there are many reasons—Laudna’s concept seems better-suited to a short form narrative and it took about 60 episodes for her character to stop feeling entirely superfluous; the relationship lacks any substantive conflict or disagreement and the supportiveness feels more like a mutual security blanket; they seem to have little in the way of an actual dynamic outside of melodramatic plot moments. But the relevant issue here is that Laudna is, for all intents and purposes, a yes-woman who supports whatever Imogen wants to do simply because Imogen wants it (a trait that notably does not carry over to anyone else in the party—she is completely unafraid to delve into negative emotions and traits with Ashton and Orym, both of whom are played by people Marisha has historically worked with to produce some of the best relationship dynamics on the show). If Imogen wants to run off and live in a cottage or join the Vanguard or commune with Predathos or not commune with Predathos, Laudna will uncritically encourage her no matter what, because per Marisha’s words on the Laudna playlist, “Laudna will protect and attack anyone who tries to fuck with her girl”. Part of Laudna’s core concept, baked in from the beginning, is the belief that Imogen “deserves the world”. Between these two players, the one who enjoys conflict is playing a character who will do everything in her power to shield and soothe the character being played by the one who hates conflict. The result feels less like a healthy supportive relationship and more like a recipe for enablement.
When episode 77 came out, I commented that for the first time I actually started to feel something—anything at all—about Imogen and Laudna, and it’s because I started to get a sense that there might be some real potential for tension and tragedy. And now—between Laudna imploring Imogen to move on from her if she dies, Marisha seeming to suggest at one point that Laudna may not have a future at all, Imogen admitting that she’s outright disgusted by Delilah, the disconnect between the players’ approaches to conflict, Imogen (and Laura, out of character) being shocked and horrified by Laudna absorbing the soul of the Willmaster, and Laudna now intentionally working with Delilah in order to protect Imogen—I’m starting to wonder if their relationship may indeed be on a collision course.
Now this could end in multiple interesting ways: Imogen could be driven away from Laudna, who is slowly consumed by Delilah; Laudna could choose to sacrifice herself to end Delilah for good and Imogen is forced to move on; Imogen and Laudna could Thelma and Louise their way off a cliff; or maybe someone just points out how unhealthy this all is and they start to be more honest and less codependent and their relationship improves after a lot of hard work. But something has to happen. 
Laura and Marisha have, multiple times now, been asked questions about Imogen and Laudna’s relationship that they have answered with varying degrees of “we never really talked about it”, sometimes referring to in-game conversations and sometimes not, and that is both unsurprising and a bad sign of things to come. I don’t know exactly how much out-of-game conversation happened between previous canon relationships that Laura and Marisha have played, but this one desperately needs it—because for three straight campaigns, all we’ve seen is every indication that these are two players who are uniquely ill-suited to play a romance the way either of them would want to.
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writerslittlelibrary · 3 months
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Wasn't she sixteen...?
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masterlist
summary: when you are on a mission with your uncle Steve, you accidentally become part of a large, secret Hydra experiment, and suddenly, you return to the compound as a toddler…
pairing: Winterwidow x adopted daughter teen/toddler reader
warnings: none I think
genre: fluff
words: 3333
a/n: I remember reading something with the reader turning into a toddler a long time ago, and the idea always stuck with me. I figured it would be really cute to do it with an adopted reader, because it means that Natasha and Bucky have never taken care of a toddler
You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work
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A simple mission. That is what Fury said. A simple data collection. In and out. 
“Simple,” Steve scoffed as her carried a sleeping 2 year old in his arms. As it turns out, the mission was not as simple as Fury had initially stated. The Hydra base was in fact, not empty, and you, were in fact, not ready. 
Fury had assured Natasha and Bucky you would be fine. You had been with the Avengers since you were 11. You had been fighting your entire life before that, and now you were with the Avengers and all you wanted was to follow in the footsteps of your adoptive parents. 
Natasha and Bucky couldn’t be more proud, yet they also couldn’t be more worried. 
You had never been on a mission before. Natasha and Bucky deemed them to dangerous, and you were only 16. They didn’t want you on missions until you were at least a legal adult.
You were upset of course when they told you, but it didn’t take you long before you understood. Missions were dangerous, and despite your upbringing, you were simply not ready yet. 
However, when Fury came to Natasha and Bucky with a file, which contained an easy mission, they decided you were allowed to go.
It would be a quick in and out mission. There wouldn’t be any danger and your uncle Steve would be with you. Everything would be fine, except it wasn’t.
The mission appeared to be more complicated than Fury had originally thought, and the Hydra base seemed to be anything but abandoned. The scouts Fury had sent out prior to the mission had been deceived. It was a trap, for you.
You had Steve had gone inside the base, finding the control room and copying the data.
However, when you were copying the data Steve heard strange noises coming from the hallway. He told you to stay put and finish the data transfer while he went to check.
You did as he said, continuing to transfer all the data from the computer. 
However, once the screen displayed 100 percent, all electricity in the room fell away. The door fell shut, and a red light was all that lit up the room. 
You pulled the usb out of the computer in a haste, trying to see if you could get the door open. You were unsuccessful, and despite your training, you were starting to panic. You could hear grunts and blows landing not far from your location and so you figured Steve was fighting off multiple Hydra agents. 
After you unsuccessfully tried to open the door, you took a step back, taking a deep breath and emptying your mind. You tried to remember what you father told you.
“Don’t dwell on situations gone wrong. Accept the unexpected. Don’t stand around whining. Try to find another way.” 
You could hear your father’s voice in your head, repeating the things he had taught you. Don’t dwell on the situation, you repeated in your head as you turned around, scanning the room to try and find something else that could help you. 
It didn’t take long before you spotted the end of a vent in the ceiling, and after pushing the large computer from the desk, you moved it over to the wall. 
You climbed to stand on top of the desk as you inspected the vent, figuring you could fit through if you managed to get it open. 
The metal was screwed into the wall rather tightly, and the vent wouldn’t budge as you tried your best to pull it open. While focusing on the vent, you failed to notice Steve trying to talk to you through the door.
Once you heard him yell your name, you turned around, jumping off the desk and making your way to the door. 
“It’s a trap! They’re gonna do something to you!” you heard Steve yell as he tried to get the door open. He too failed to open the door, despite his super soldier serum. 
You ran back to the desk, climbing on it once more and trying to open the vent with much more force than before. This was supposed to be an easy mission. You wanted to make your parents proud. You’ll be damned if you get trapped back with Hydra because of it. 
However, after you tried your absolute best to get the vent open, you still failed, and the red lights in the room started to flicker as an alarm could be heard. 
Smoke started to fill the room and you tried to hold your breath for as long as you could.
It didn’t take long before you had to breath again, and as soon as you did you felt the smoke work its was inside, infecting your brain and your senses. You lost your balance and fell off the desk, unable to break your fall as the smoke fogged up your brain, confusion taking over. 
You tried to stand. To get to the door. To get to uncle Steve, but it was worthless. 
You laid on the floor until you lost consciousness. 
After the smoke had taken effect on you, the alarm stopped. The smoke disappeared from the room and the red light returned to normal. The door sprung open and Steve rushed inside. 
However, what he found was not exactly what he was expecting. 
There you were, sitting on the ground with a pile of suit around you. You were no longer sixteen, you were a toddler. You looked to be around two, and because only your body had shrunken, the suit you were once wearing was way to big, and so it piled up around you.
Once you saw your uncle Steve your recognised him immediately, even in this from, and you giggled and smiled as you reached your little arms up. 
Steve picked you up quickly, rushing back to the Quinjet and discarding of your suit, wrapping you in a warm blanket instead. You had a few cuts and bruises on your little body but they didn’t seem to bother you in the slightest as you giggled and laughed while playing with Steve’s beard. 
He sighed as set the coordinates for the Quinjet back to the Avengers tower, contemplating on how the hell he was going to explain this to Natasha and Bucky.
------------------------------------------------------------- 
Once Bucky and Natasha heard that the Quinjet was landing, they rushed to meet you, wanting to hold you in their arms and assure themselves you were safe. 
However, when Steve walked off the Quinjet, a confused and guilty look on his face while carrying a little child, they could only think the worse. Natasha and Bucky rushed over to Steve, asking what had happened to their child. They needed to know you were safe.
Steve chuckled dryly as he held your tiny form up, and the moment you saw Natasha and Bucky you started smiling, reaching for Natasha, wanting your mama to hold you.
Natasha took you from Steve confused, before she took a good look at the toddlers face and realised that it was indeed, you. 
“Y/n?!” Natasha exclaimed confused. 
“Mommy!” you giggled happily as you buried your face into her shoulder, exhausted from the journey. 
“Wasn’t she sixteen when we sent her with you…?” Bucky asked confused, a dangerous tone hidden underneath his playful one.
“Well, you see, she got hit with some kind of strange gas and now… well… she turned into a toddler…” Steve explained, scratching the back of his head while avoiding to make eye contact.
“What…?” Natasha asked even more confused, rubbing your back gently as you fussed before you settled down again. 
“I don’t know what happened. The Hydra base we were at was not abandoned, but they didn’t try to hurt us. I left her alone for just a minute while I went to fight other Hydra agents off, and when I came back, well…” he finished, motioning to your sleeping form.
“I’m really sorry…” Steve added apologetically as he looked down. 
Bucky took a deep breath before laying his hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 
“We’ll go and see Bruce. Hopefully he can help us reverse it,” Bucky stated. Steve looked up at him confused, before he noticed Natasha’s massive smile while she interacted with your younger self. Maybe this wasn’t all bad. 
------------------------------------------------------------- 
After speaking with Bruce and Tony, Natasha and Bucky found out that your little form was reversible, but that it would simply take time. They stated that eventually the effects of the gas would wear off, and then you’d be back to your normal, teenager form again. 
Natasha and Bucky thanked them as they made their way to the living room, you still happily in Natasha’s arms. 
Bucky had already started planning an entire mental list of all the things they would have to get for you. I mean, you were two years old and the only thing that adorned your little body was the fuzzy blanket from the Quinjet. 
There weren’t any clothes for you. There wasn’t anything in the Avengers tower for a two year old.
On top of that, Natasha and Bucky had never taken care of a toddler before. You were eleven when the Avengers saved you, and you were eleven when you were adopted by Natasha and Bucky. They didn’t know the first thing about taking care of a young child.
While Bucky rummaged in the kitchen, trying to find something appropriate for you to eat, Natasha sat on the couch with you in her lap, playing peek a boo while you giggled and tried to copy her movements. 
Bucky eventually settled on grabbing you an apple, coming back from the kitchen and handing it to you. 
Natasha gave him an unimpressed look when you took the apple from Bucky’s hand, studying it for a second before holding it back up to Bucky. Bucky looked confused, sending Natasha a glance for help.
“She’s two, James,” Natasha simply stated as Bucky hesitantly took the apple back.
“Daddy cut,” you stated as you pointed at the apple, and Bucky immediately realised how stupid he had been. 
He went back into the kitchen, hearing you giggle as Natasha stated, ‘stupid daddy,’ in a playful tone. Once he returned with the apple, cut this time, he sat beside Natasha, holding the little bowl while you reached for a piece. 
You happily munched on your apple slice while you laid down on Natasha’s chest. 
Perhaps they should lay you down for a nap soon. 
------------------------------------------------------------- 
Clint had heard about what had happened to you. He had immediately started digging around in the old clothes from Lila and Nathaniel. The clothes they had kept from Lila were all baby clothes, and so he settled on just grabbing some of Nathaniel’s clothes. 
He arrived at the compound quickly, finding you still sitting on the couch, finishing your last apple slice. 
Natasha held you close as she softly rocked you back and forth, a happy and content smile on her face. She loved you more than anything in the world. She loved your shopping trips, your determination when you insisted on certain songs during car rides. Your ability to make Bucky say yes to whatever you asked. But she could not deny how much she had longed to hold you in your younger years.
Holding you, in your two year old form, was everything she had ever wanted. 
You were so small. So fragile. So young. Natasha was more than grateful that she gets to experience you being so small as well. 
Clint smiled at the sight, walking into the living area and sitting on a chair close to Natasha and Bucky. 
“She’s adorable,” he stated as he got a good look at you.
Your little head perked up at the sound of his voice. “Uhncle Clint!” You stated happily, tripping over your words as they came out as a mushed up mess. 
“Hello there tiny,” Clint responded as he smiled at you.
“I got you some of Nathaniel’s old clothes. I couldn’t find anything from Lila’s but I figured this will do for now,” Clint explained to Natasha and Bucky as he handed Bucky the clothes. 
You little arm immediately reached towards the pile of clothes, sitting up straight in Natasha’s lap as you pulled the clothing items out of the perfect pile, wanting to see all of them. Eventually, you reached for a shirt with little planets on it. You held it up to Natasha. 
“On mama,” you stated firmly, to which Natasha laughed while she helped you into the shirt. 
Eventually, you were happily dressed in a miss matching set of pajamas, leaning into Natasha again as your eyes started to fall close. 
“I think it’s time for a nap,” Natasha stated as she stood up, holding you tightly to her chest as she made her way towards hers and Bucky’s bedroom. Bucky followed her as they went into the bedroom, Natasha laying you on the bed. 
“Do two year olds wear diapers…?” Bucky asked, deep in thought while he contemplated putting a diaper on you or not.
Natasha let out a huff of amusement before handing a diaper to Bucky.
“Yes they do,” she stated as she sat down on the bed, making sure you kept laying down as Bucky gave her a confused look.
“Well go on dad, put a diaper on your kid,” Natasha stated playfully, listening to your giggles as Bucky’s face heated up. 
“I don’t know how…” Bucky stated, a little embarrassed. 
“Come on super soldier, I’ll talk you through it. It’s not that hard,” Natasha explained as she motioned for Bucky to get to work. 
------------------------------------------------------------- 
After Bucky’s diaper adventure you were asleep pretty quickly, all the excitement from the day catching up to you as you slept peacefully on the big bed. Natasha had laid pillows all around you, building some kind of wall to ensure you wouldn’t roll out of the bed while you slept. 
After you were down and content, Natasha had offered to go to the mall to pick out a few necessities for you. Bucky had reluctantly agreed, even though he was terrified to take care of you. You were only a little baby, and he was terrified to hurt you. 
Natasha had assured him that he would do great, and Clint had offered to stay nearby incase Bucky would need anything.
And so, Natasha happily went to the mall, shopping in all the baby stores as she put way to many objects in her basket. She had never had such an experience before. Sure, she occasionally picked up a thing or two for Clint’s kids, but getting to pick out stuff for her own little girl felt entirely different.
She had already received a dozen texts while she was gone, all from Bucky as he slightly panicked with every sound or movement you made. 
Natasha chuckled to herself as she read through the texts, assuring Bucky you were fine and that you were just sleeping like any normal toddler would. 
“Are you looking for anything specific?” 
The question pulled Natasha away from her phone, turning to look at the woman beside her. She had a kind smile on her face as she scanned the objects in Natasha’s basket. 
“Oh, uhm, I’m not sure,” Natasha stated, giving the woman a smile back.
“Your first child?” the woman asked, and Natasha nodded with a bright smile on her face. 
“It was unexpected, to say the least,” she chuckled at her own joke, watching the woman’s face as she smiled kindly. 
“How old is she?” the woman asked, judging by the basket contents that you were a girl.
“Two,” Natasha stated as she picked up another set of pajamas, the pattern a collection of different cartoon drawings of your favourite animal.
“It’s a great age. I loved it when my kids were that age,” the woman told Natasha.
“Children that age often want comfort items. Does she have anything like a stuffed animal, or maybe a special blanket?” the woman suggested, and Natasha thought for a moment before shaking her head. 
“No, I suppose she doesn’t. I should probably pick one up for her,” she stated as she gave the woman another smile, moving to walk over to the stuffed animal section. 
The woman trailed behind her and guided her towards a collection of adorable bears, all dressed in various pajama sets that were sold around the store. 
“You could get one with the same pajamas as your daughter,” the woman explained excitedly, picking up a bear dressed in the same pajamas that Natasha had picked out earlier.
Natasha took the bear, thanking the woman before making her way to check out. 
------------------------------------------------------------- 
Once Natasha arrived back at the Avengers tower the first thing she noticed was how the common area was a chaos. Clint and Wanda were looking around while Bucky just paced around panicking. 
Natasha walked over to Bucky, a determination to calm her boyfriend down before he would have a mental breakdown.
“Y/n’s gone,” Bucky stated as he say Natasha come into view.
Clint immediately turned around upon hearing Bucky’s words, letting out a chuckle and walking over to Natasha as well. 
“For the record, y/n is not gone, she is simply playing hide and seek,” Clint started, looking around. “And she’s damn good at it…”
Natasha laughed as she set her bags on the couch.
“Y/n? Sweetie, it’s mommy. I have some things for you,” Natasha stated in a sing songy voice, her ears immediately perking up when she heard your excited giggles coming from her right. 
There you were, running as fast as your little legs could take you, straight for Natasha’s lap.
You jumped up on the couch, climbing onto Natasha as you hugged her tightly. 
“Mommy!” you exclaimed happily, giggling as Natasha attacked your face with kisses.
“Was my little princess hiding from daddy?” Natasha asked as you nodded, still giggling as you pointed over to Bucky.
“Daddy not finding me!” you exclaimed, stretching out to give Natasha a kiss on her cheek. 
Bucky sighed with relief as he moved to sit down beside you two, his large hand stroking your back, it almost being as big as your entire back. You giggled and pushed yourself away from Natasha, using her shoulders to push yourself up so you could give Bucky a kiss as well.
“I best at hid and seeking,” you stated proudly, and Bucky chuckled as he nodded, giving you a kiss on your forehead.
“Look what I have for you my little malyshka,” Natasha said as she reached into the bag, pulling the stuffed animal from the bag and handing it over to you.
You smiled brightly, immediately hugging the bear tightly to your chest when you got it into your hands. 
“Matching pajamas…” Bucky stated with amusement as he pulled the pajama set from the bag, holding it up for you and Natasha to see. 
You gasped in excitement as reached over to it.
“On mommy, on,” you stated as you managed to get the pajamas in your hands.
Natasha chuckled and helped you out of Nathaniel’s old clothes, ripping open the packaging of the new pajamas and helping you put them on. 
“I look like bear!” you exclaimed happily as you looked at yourself, holding up your bear for Natasha and Bucky to see.
“Yes you do doll,” Bucky stated as he pulled you into his lap, showering your face with kisses.
Both Natasha and Bucky would never say it out loud, but they hoped you would stay a two year old for a little while longer, loving the new domestic feeling it gave them to raise a little kid. Of course, they loved you and they would be more than happy when you were to turn back into your teenage self, but they couldn’t deny the fact that they wanted to enjoy holding your little form for as long as possible. 
Permanent tags: @marvelnatasha12346 @lesbionion @nova-kyle @darkstar225 @saraaahsstuff @marvelwomenarehot0 @screechcat @iheartjohansson @simp-erformarvelwomen @swaqcenix @karmasgxrl @marvel-lous3000 @mxximoffswifey @lorsstar1st
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alessiasfreckles · 4 months
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Lonely
Lucy Bronze & reader (platonic)
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after moving to barcelona, everything is hard; the language, your anxiety, the loneliness. after a particularly rough day, lucy finds you crying in the changing room and is determined to help.
A/N: based off of this ask! i tried to make it different enough to Fitting In but still along the same vein, i hope you like it ✨
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The sun was shining, it was a beautiful (albeit a bit cold) day in Barcelona, you were playing for one of the best women’s football teams in the world, and everything was perfect.
Well, it should have been. You knew that. Really, there was no reason for you to be anything but happy. When friends and family back home asked you how you were getting on, you told them about the gorgeous scenery, the weather, and how much fun you were having. It wasn’t all a lie, the scenery really was incredible, and the weather was nicer than it was in England, at the very least. 
But, if you were being honest? Things were really fucking hard. 
You were trying to learn Spanish, really, you were, but languages had never been your thing. Everyone had told you before you left that “it’ll be easy, once you’re surrounded by it!”. Bullshit. You went through the day understanding single words and phrases here and there, but for the most part, it was like your brain just shut off when people started talking. 
The language issue, of course, didn’t exactly help your social situation. You’d always found it hard to make friends, even in your native language. Trying to do it in a whole other language felt like an impossible task. The team tried to be welcoming, of course, but most of the time your brain was too exhausted from trying to keep up with the language for you to socialise. The other international players helped a little and would translate things for you sometimes, but you were the newest recruit and everyone else’s Spanish was miles better than yours. You could tell that the other players were making an effort to speak Spanish, some even learning Catalan, and you didn’t want to be the stereotypical English speaking person who couldn’t be bothered to speak the language of the country they were in. So, when everyone would burst out laughing at something Aitana said, you laughed along, hoping no one would catch on to the fact that you hadn’t understood it. 
You had hoped to become friends with Lucy and Keira, thinking that it would be nice to have at least a couple other English players to talk to, but they seemed so settled in their lives here that you felt like you were intruding. Lucy spent a lot of time with the Spanish girls and seemed to talk Spanish, or at least a mix of Spanish and English, most of the time, and Keira did the same. Even when you had the opportunity to talk to them, your social anxiety would flare up, and you’d find yourself overthinking and debating what to say for so long that by the time you’d decided, the moment had passed. 
So, you kept to yourself, mostly. You spent a lot of time observing your teammates, their interactions with one another. Trying to figure out how you could interact with them, then losing the courage to do so. 
Your teammates felt bad, they could tell that you hadn’t settled in and that you were the outsider of the group, but with so much training and all of the games the team had, it was all too easy to forget about everything outside of football.
That’s how, on that beautiful day in Barcelona, after a particularly tough training session, you found yourself crying in an empty changing room. You’d waited until everyone went home, stalling and saying you wanted to run a few more laps. Once the changing room was empty, you collapsed on a bench, staring into space, not even aware of the tears beginning to stream down your face. You were so tired of having to try so hard all the time, and if you were honest, you were really lonely. 
The door to the changing room bangs open, making you jump, and you look up to see Lucy standing there carrying a box of towels. The look of surprise on her face quickly changes to one of concern when she realises you’re crying, as you quickly try to wipe away your tears, white-hot embarrassment flooding your body.
“Woah, y/n, are you okay? What’s wrong, do you need me to get someone?” Lucy asks, putting the box on the bench closest to her. She stays by the door, looking like she’s not sure whether to come closer and comfort you or to leave to get help.
“Um, no, it’s okay, I’m okay,” you say, sniffing a little and laughing awkwardly. “I’m fine, seriously. Don’t worry about it.”
The brunette raises an eyebrow as she comes closer and lets the door swing shut. “Yeah, right, pull the other one. Clearly something’s not okay, or else you wouldn’t be sat here, crying, alone.”
“Yeah, I guess you got me there,” you smile weakly. “But really, it’s okay. It’s nothing.”
“If it’s upsetting you, it’s not nothing,” she says firmly, sitting down next to you. “What’s going on?”
You shrug, not wanting to burden her with your problems and not sure where to start. “It’s just a lot, sometimes, y’know?”
She nods sympathetically. “The language?”
“Yeah,” you sigh. “I’m trying, I really am, but it’s just so hard, and I don’t know, maybe I’m not trying hard enough, but I am trying, really-”
“Hey,” she interrupts you, placing a hand on your back. “It’s okay. It is hard. Everyone can see that you’re trying.”
“Really?” you say, doubt clouding your mind. “Because I feel like I understand way less than everyone thinks I do. Most of the time I’m just copying other people’s reactions, or nodding along.”
She laughs. “Yeah, I did that at first, too. It gets easier after a while, I promise.”
“I’m not sure it will. I don’t-”, you start, breaking off as you struggle to figure out what you wanted to say. “I don’t know how to do a lot of social stuff. Talking to people. I can’t even handle it in English most of the time, to be honest. I feel like even without the language problem, there’s the me problem.”
She lets out a laugh at that, but it’s not a mean one. “What do you mean, a you problem?”
“The me problem,” you explain. “I feel like I’m like, an alien or something. I don’t know how to behave, how to be a real human like the rest of you.” 
At that, she puts a hand on your shoulder, turning you to be facing her. “Y/n,” she says, a serious look on her face. “You’re a real human.”
“No, I know that I’m a real human,” you roll your eyes, letting out a small giggle. Lucy smiles, glad to have made you laugh. “I just don’t feel like it sometimes. I don’t know how to interact with people. Like, what do people talk about? What do people do when they’re hanging out? It was fine with my friends back home, because we’ve known each other forever, they know what I’m like and I know what they’re like. But here, it’s all so… different.”
Lucy stands, holding out a hand to you. When you take it she pulls you up, a determined look on her face. “Right, well, it sounds like we have to get you feeling more comfortable here. So, you’re going to come back to my place, we’re going to play something on the Playstation or watch something on TV, and tonight a couple of the girls are coming over. But only a couple, and I’ll tell them that we’re having an English night, no speaking Spanish allowed, alright?”
“Oh, no, it’s okay, I don’t want to be a bother-” you start, but she quickly cuts you off.
“Nonsense!” she says, swinging an arm around your shoulder. “We look out for each other on this team. You’re a part of the team, y/n. So we’ll look out for you too. Got it?”
You nod, feeling nervous but excited, even hopeful. 
And she was right. It ended up being one of the best evenings you’d had in a long time, and it wasn’t long before you started to feel like you really were not just a part of the team, but a part of the family. “English” nights even became a regular thing, the Spanish and other international players eager for a chance to practise their English even more (not that they had to, it seemed like they were all basically fluent). Lucy and Keira tried to help you with the language, giving you their tips. Honestly? Their tips weren’t much help, and it was still pretty hard. But as difficult as it was, you had to admit that, slowly but surely, it was all getting easier, especially with friends by your side.
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cookinguptales · 8 months
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As someone who grew up in a bilingual household where we spoke English but also signed, the part of Mabel and Theo's relationship that fascinates me the most is the communication, or lack thereof.
I'm mostly hearing (...sort of...) but grew up around a lot of d/Deaf people, CODAs, interpreters, etc. so while I can't give any input on the experience of profound deafness, I can at least tell apart different styles of signing. It's a little hard to tell sometimes how much of this is characterization vs. the skill level of the actors, but it is interesting.
Teddy Dimas does not sign fluidly. It's immediately obvious. It's not that he's terrible or that he can't be understood... it's just that there are a lot of tells that he does not sign as a primary language. The terseness of the signs, the deliberateness. You can tell that there's a second of thought before each sign, a jerky sort of compactness to them, that's common with people who learn to sign later in life. (Or who don't get a ton of practice with it.)
Signing, when you do it right, requires the use of your whole body. That can be hard for hearing people, who are generally used to more restrained movements. Teddy Dimas has never quite lost that restraint. He still can't go all in, not with his signing or his parenting.
I always thought this was really interesting, because it means that Teddy most likely learned to sign for his son (tragically uncommon with hearing parents of Deaf children) but that he still can't quite translate his thoughts properly into sign language. He can't quite get his emotions through to his son. There's a barrier there between them, and it seems to be largely one that Teddy's erected -- until Theo starts snapping back.
What I'm getting at is that Teddy has always forcibly drawn his son into his world instead of immersing himself in Theo's, and it shows. And it has really harmed their relationship, in more ways than one.
Zoe... we don't see a ton of her signing, but there does seem to be something somewhat performative about it. It's more fluid, like perhaps she's done it her whole life, but there's also something sort of... idk, false about it? And I wonder if that's just Zoe. It felt like she was always covering up her true feelings of loneliness and emptiness with a flamboyant personality, and the little flourishes to her signing seem to convey that as well. Her signing feels almost theatrical to me.
Theo and Mabel, though... I've always loved that episode where they go to Coney Island together. I get the criticism that Theo said at the beginning that he couldn't understand much of what she said when he was reading lips -- and then she proceeded to just talk at him for the rest of the episode anyway. But to me, at least, that always seemed like it was kind of the point. They couldn't understand each other, not fully, and that was something soothing to them.
There's something healing, I think, about shouting into the void. Letting out all of your most personal, complicated feelings without fear of repercussion or judgement. Talking into the wind because you know it won't talk back. You need to feel that echo but also know that it won't be heard.
I think there was some of that there in their initial relationship. Both of them desperately needed to talk, to get everything off their chests, but both of them also have trouble opening up to others due to trauma. So I think speaking to someone who couldn't understand them was, in some ways, ideal. They could make a human connection while keeping it fairly impersonal. They could unload without fear of judgement -- or worse, understanding.
Oddly, I think their mutual need to communicate without being understood was the one thing they understood best about each other. They could sense each other's loneliness and wariness and inability to trust that they could tell someone something important without it being used against them -- because their love and their trust have always been used against them.
So maybe in a way, their inability to talk to each other was actually what helped them communicate on a deeper level...?
Still, though. Still. I was so pleased to see that Mabel is learning more sign language so she can talk to Theo. She's got a long way to go, but no one learns to sign overnight. She's making progress, and you can tell that Theo appreciates it. There are still times where he gets too excited and signs too fast and she doesn't catch all of it, and there are times when she gets so wrapped up in her own soliloquies that she forgets that you have to face Deaf people while talking to them, but there's a familiarity to it now. When he signs too fast, she smiles and teases him. When she talks too quickly or forgets to sign or turns away from him, he just smiles and sighs and shakes his head. Then waits for her to come back.
Theo finds it irritating, obviously, but also understands that it's just... Mabel. She spends so much time in her own head that she has trouble communicating even with people who speak her language, as evidenced with Tobert. And maybe Theo does understand her in ways that others can't. Maybe it's the very fact that he accepts that he can't always understand her that makes her feel comfortable with him.
I also have to wonder, y'know... Has anyone ever learned to sign for him before, other than his father, who clearly saw it as a burden? Has anyone ever seen him as worth the effort of learning, not out of an obligation to speak to him but a desire to? No wonder he's being patient with her. I wonder if anyone has ever put in as much effort for him as she already has. It makes me so sad to think about, because what she's doing now is so... bare minimum. Theo has been so desperately alone, and so much of that is because his father isolated him. It's because no one else ever reached out. :(
idk, it just makes me happy that these two people who originally bonded over their inability to communicate are now comfortable enough with each other to try actually talking. There's something so shy and so joyful about it. I love that for them, especially Theo.
I don't want him to be alone anymore!! I want him to have someone he can talk to, whom he trusts enough to talk to, who thinks he's worth learning to talk to back!
Their odd brand of bilingual communication (or lack thereof) is just fascinating to me. ;;
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katareyoudrilling · 25 days
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The Sweepstakes: Javi Gutierrez (Porn Star AU)
Series: The Sweepstakes
Pairing: Porn star Javi Gutierrez x Female Reader
Summary: It seemed like a great idea at the time, but now you’re not sure you’re brave enough to claim your sweepstakes prize.
Word count: ~3.2k
Rating: Explicit (18+ only. NO MINORS)
Content Warnings: reader is a full-figured gal, vague body descriptions, body insecurity, some ass smacks, ass worship, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected PiV (there is paperwork)
A/N: Huge thank you to @burntheedges for all her help with this!�� Javi is a new character for me as is some of the subject matter I’m writing about.  I hope I’ve done both justice!  Spanish translations are at the end, but everything should be able to be understood in line with context.  I hope you enjoy!
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Taglist – link in bio or ask me to add you!
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“There’s a kitchen to the left and a bathroom here,” Erin opens a door to show you a spacious full bath.  “The production room is at the end of this hall, which is where I will be if you need anything.”
You nod along and follow her down the hall.
“And of course, here is the room where you’ll be doing your scene!” She opens the double doors with a flourish.
It’s so… bright in there.  Is it always that bright?
You look around the large bedroom.  A bedroom you are very familiar with, as it is where your favorite porn production company films many of their videos.
You wrap your arms around your torso, feeling exposed even though you’re still fully clothed.
Maybe this was a bad idea.
You entered a sweepstakes you never expected to win.  You saw the ad after a particularly satisfying session with your vibrator.  It said, “Enter to win a night with your favorite performer!”
Your favorite performer had just given you a fantastic orgasm.  In your dopamine haze it seemed like the best idea you’d ever had.  You’ve never had an orgasm with a partner, but he gets you there every time.  Could he do it in person?
The “he” in question was none other than Javi Gutierrez.  The friendliest porn star there ever was.  Sunshine incarnate. You wondered and then you clicked submit.
Now, seeing the room in person, faced with the reality of the large bed and sunlight filtering through the curtains… your brilliant idea doesn’t seem so brilliant anymore.
Erin leads you into the room and continues, “Since you’ve opted not to be filmed, we have removed all the cameras except one.”  She gestures towards a tripod in the corner.  “The lens cap is on though, it’s just for sound.  We will be monitoring the feed just to be sure everyone is safe.”
“I… I don’t know… if I can do this,” you choke out, your breaths coming faster and faster as panic builds in your chest.
“Hey, it’s ok.”  Erin places her hands on your shoulders and captures your darting gaze.  “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  If you just want to meet Javi and call it a night, that is completely fine.  He really is the sweetest.” She smiles at you, and you let out a long exhale, allowing your shoulders to relax slightly.
“He won’t be upset?”
“Upset? No. Our performers are all very aware of how intimidating this is and would never judge anyone for backing out, Javi especially.  I know he is excited to meet you, though.”
“Me? Why?”  That’s just ridiculous.  One of the most beautiful men in existence is excited to meet jiggly, squishy you?
“He’s excited to meet everyone, all the time, but we did show him your photo and tell him a little about you from your paperwork.  I believe his exact word was deliciosa.”  She winks.
Delicious? What? Javi is always so complimentary to his scene partners, telling them how beautiful they are and how good they feel, but none of his scene partners look like you.
“What do you think? Want to meet him?” Erin asks you gently.
You nod.  “Yeah, I guess.”  If Javi is who you think he is, then he will at least be friendly and kind.
“I’ll send him in in a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable and remember, we are here for you, however you want this evening to go.”  She leaves the room, closing the doors behind her.
You face the bed, the space you’ve traveled to in your mind so many times now real in front of you.  You’ll just meet him, and it will be fine.  So what if you’ll never know what it’s really like to be with him.  So what if this once in a lifetime opportunity passes you by.
You hear the doors open behind you and quickly turn around only to be blinded by the gorgeousness that is Javi Gutierrez.
He’s wearing a white tank top that shows off his broad, muscular shoulders, lightly freckled from the sun, and loose linen pants that hang low on his hips, revealing a thin slice of tummy and happy trail.  His skin positively glows in the setting sun.  His hair falls softly in ringlets of brown and gold around his handsome face.
“Hello, I am Javi.” He introduces himself with a wide smile and open arms.  You allow him to gather you into his broad chest, too stunned that this is happening to even introduce yourself properly.  You mumble your name against him.
His scent fills your nostrils—citrus and the ocean breeze—and you breathe it in greedily.  Too soon he lets you go and steps back.  A look of deep concern fills his chocolate brown eyes as he considers you carefully.
“Erin said maybe you want to leave.” His deep voice is so gentle and soothing. “It is ok if you do, but I hope not.”
“You don’t have to say that.”
His brow furrows in confusion. “Say what? That I would be sad not to get to fuck you?”
“You don’t… really want to do… that with me. It’s ok.”  Your cheeks heat as you stutter your answer.
“Of course I want to, why would I not want to? You are so beautiful. Bonita.”
“No I’m not, you don’t want this,” you gesture towards yourself, your tummy, your ass.
“I do want this.  What is wrong with this?”  He looks genuinely confused.  “May I touch you, bonita?”
“I… I guess.”
He takes your hand and brings it to his lips then trails kisses up your arm.  You shiver as his mustache brushes against your sensitive skin.
“¡Que linda!  So beautiful and soft,” he murmurs as he gets to your shoulder, dropping your arm and placing his hands on your waist.  “Why would I not want more of you to fill up my hands?” He slides his hands around to your ass, bringing your fronts together.  You can feel his length hardening between you and your mouth falls open in surprise.  He squeezes your ass, “This. You. Are beautiful.  And I do want to fuck you.  Te deseo, bonita.”
He closes the distance between you to press a kiss on your mouth, currently open in shock.  He teases your lips and chin as his hands knead your ass, pulling you against him.  One hand travels up to palm your breast. He finds the hard point of your nipple and you gasp as he pinches it.
“Do you not want the cameras because you do not think you are beautiful, bonita?” he whispers against your skin as he drags his angular nose along your jawline.
You nod as you whimper.  The idea of watching yourself like that… it makes your insides churn.  You just knew when you saw the question in the paperwork that you would never want to watch it, so why record it?
He pulls back and holds your gaze intently.  “It is your choice, por supuesto.  But I hope I can make you feel beautiful tonight.  With me. Will you stay?”
His smoldering gaze is hypnotic and you find yourself replying, “Yes, I’ll stay.”
“Bueno, this makes me very happy.”  The smile that lights up his face confirms his words.
You find yourself smiling back, your insecurities taking a backseat to the fizzy excitement now bubbling through your veins.  His joyful presence is contagious.
Javi returns to your mouth, no longer in teasing nips, but with intent as he draws you into a deep kiss.  His tongue slides against yours with languid, knee-weakening strokes.  He leads you backwards until you feel the bed against the backs of your legs and directs you to sit.  With your head tilted back, he continues to explore your mouth, standing between your legs, his large hands cradling your face.
He steps back and pulls his tank top over his head.  He moves to return to your kiss, but you stop him with your hands on his chest.  You have to see him, touch him, this beautiful man you’ve fantasized about so many times.
“You’re gorgeous, Javi,” you whisper reverently as you drag your palms down his golden chest, delighting when his nipples pebble under your fingers.
“Gracias, bonita,” he chuckles softly.  His fingers trace your jaw and the shell of your ear as you explore his body.  “Undo the tie,” he murmurs as your fingers trace the edge of his trousers.  You can already see the shape of him through the thin material, straining to be released.
You bite your lip and Javi groans, “Fuck. Those lips, ay, son deliciosos.”
Carefully, you tug at the drawstring knot, it gives way, and his pants slide down his beautiful legs, revealing the full glory of his nakedness to you.  His cock bobs in front of you and your mouth waters at the site.  You shift, squeezing your legs together at the ache building at your center.
His glorious length, hard… for you.  It boggles your mind.
“It’s so sexy, you looking at me like that,” Javi growls.  “I can’t wait to fuck you with this cock.”  He strokes himself in front of you.  He’s so thick it sends shivers up your spine.
You look up at him and lick your lips.  “Can I taste you, Javi?” The boldness of the request surprises you even as the words escape your mouth.  You’ve become brave so quickly in the presence of Javi’s obvious desire.
“Absolutamente.  Whatever you want.  I am here for you.”  He smiles down at you as he stands in front of you next to the bed.
You take him in your hand and stroke lightly from root to tip, then bend over to retrace your path with your tongue.  Javi’s approval rumbles in his chest as you lick and taste your way along him, ending with a swirl of your tongue over the head of his gorgeous cock.  Grasping him firmly in one hand you draw him between your lips.
Javi caresses your neck and cheek as you pump him into your mouth.  You close your eyes and focus on remembering the salty taste of his skin on your tongue.  You never want to forget.
You lose yourself in the rhythmic action, stroking him with your hand in time with your mouth until your jaw aches.  You pull back to catch your breath only to have his mouth on yours again.
“Your turn, bonita,” he practically growls into your mouth.  “I need to taste you. Por favor. Lo necesito.”
You remove your clothes with his help. You want to look down, away from his face, so you don’t see his reaction to you, but you force yourself to meet his gaze.  What you see looking back at you is pure lust and desire.
Goosebumps rise over your skin at the intensity of it, your nipples pebble and your pussy throbs.
“So soft,” he whispers reverently, cupping your breasts.  He squeezes and moans before taking your nipple in his mouth.  He presses you back, so you’re laying on the bed.  Out of habit, your arms move to cover your body, to somehow make yourself smaller.
“Don’t hide from me, bonita.”  Javi gently takes your wrists and pins your hands out to the side.  “Let me see you. You are so beautiful. Quiero verte.”
Sincerity shines from his kind eyes.  You take deep breaths and relax.  You want to trust him.
He kisses your lips then travels down your neck, sucking at your pulse point and making you gasp.  He gathers your breasts in his large hands and nuzzles into them before taking each peak in his mouth.  He travels across your belly, licking and nibbling at your roundness, before grasping your thighs in his hands and licking a broad swipe up your slit.
You moan as his warm mouth envelopes your cunt and his tongue nudges at your sensitive bud.  “Delicioso,” he groans between licks.  He slips a finger inside you, and you instinctively roll your hips into him.
Him stroking you inside and out is divine, and you try to sink into the sensations and just enjoy, but a thought keeps worming its way back in.  Your mind won’t let it go, so you clear your throat, “Um Javi? I need to tell you something.”
“What is it, sweetheart? Are you ok?  Do you not like it?” he kisses the inside of your thigh, looking worried.
“No no, it feels so good, don’t stop.  I just…  I… fuck…” you lose focus, distracted as he resumes dragging his fingers in and out of your pussy, circling your clit with his thumb.
“I have read your papers, have you changed your mind about something?”
“No, it’s not that.  It’s just… I’ve never… come with a partner.”
“Hmm,” he murmurs into your skin, continuing to stroke you, “Do you come when you watch me?”
“Every time,” you moan as his fingers find a spot deep inside that makes your arch off the bed.
“Then we will see.  It is ok if you do not.”
“I want to.  With you.”  You do, so so badly.
It’s something you’ve thought about a lot.  It could be a matter of skill, but you can get yourself off alone just never with a partner.  You have a suspicion that how you feel about your body might be the reason.  None of your partners have ever said anything to make you feel badly, but you haven’t exactly let them appreciate you either, assuming that they wouldn’t.
You cover yourself, turn off the lights, only partially undress, in the hopes that a partner won’t notice what you look like.  As if they haven’t been looking at you in all the moments leading to the bedroom.
But Javi didn’t let you do that.  In this bright room, you bared yourself to him and he said you were deliciosa.  
“You have my word, I will try very hard,” he places his free hand over his heart, sealing his promise with a nod, making you giggle. “And we have things to help, if you need them.  It is ok. I will take care of you.”
“Thank you, Javi, oh…” you cut yourself off with a moan as Javi dives back into your cunt, sucking your clit into his mouth and making your hips jerk.
You decide to believe him and work to clear your mind.  Your eyes drift close as you focus on the pleasure he is pulling out of you.  His warm tongue strokes wide and firm, circling your clit in determined strokes.  You let your body respond how it wants.  Your hips rock into him with each stroke of his tongue, seeking that perfect pressure.  It feels amazing.
But you don’t come.
Before you can get frustrated, Javi kisses his way back up to your tits and gathers them in his palms.  “Look at you in my hands,” he moans, mouthing at your soft flesh, swirling his tongue around each nipple.  You take the opportunity to run your fingers through his silky hair, twirling one curl and then another.
He groans in appreciation when you tug slightly.  The sound goes straight to your core.
He looks up at you with a wicked grin. “Roll over, bonita.”
He rolls you on to your stomach, kneeling across your outstretched legs.  He gently smacks your ass cheek, sending ripples through your body. You gasp and your pussy clenches around nothing. 
“Yesssss,” he hisses and he smacks you again.  “Look how you bounce for me.”
He takes handfuls of your ass cheeks and kneads and squeezes them together.  Suddenly you feel his cock slide through the cleft of your ass.  You try to twist to see him but can only get glimpses of him staring down at you, slack jawed and wrecked.
Your body is making him look like that.  It makes you feel powerful, and you wish you could watch him enjoy you.  For the first time, you regret not allowing the cameras.  
“Fuuuck,” Javi growls, sliding his cock between your ass cheeks.  You whimper and whine pinned underneath him.  “I could come like this, bonita, you feel so good.”  He lets your ass cheeks fall apart and smacks them again before gathering you back up around his cock.  “So juicy and plump.  Fucking amazing.”
You’re drenched with arousal and unable to relieve any of the pressure.
“Fuck me, Javi, please,” you beg.
“Sí, bonita, I will fuck you,” he growls.
Javi scoots back and rolls you over then wedges himself between your legs.
Taking his cock in hand he glides himself through your slippery folds, nudging at your clit with each stroke.  You whimper as he teases you until he notches himself at your entrance.
He eases himself into your channel.  He’s a lot to take and works his way in gently, watching your face for signs of discomfort.
You let out a guttural moan as he bottoms out in your cunt. “So good Javi, you’re so big.  Fuck, I’m so full.”  The stretch of him is glorious.
He pistons his hips slowly at first as you both savor the drag of him through your walls.  Gradually he speeds up until he’s slamming his hips into you.
Every thrust reverberates through your body.  Your breasts and tummy wobble, but you don’t try to stop them.
“Look how you bounce when I fuck you,” Javi groans, continuing his relentless pace, “ it’s so sexy.”  His fingers dig into your thighs as he presses you open.
“Yes Javi, more… yes… please.” You beg nonsensically as your orgasm begins to sparkle at the edges of your awareness.
“You need to be filled up, don’t you bonita?  You need to be stretched around this cock.  That’s it.  Fuck. You feel so good.”  He moves a hand in between your bodies to circle your clit and you cry out.
“I think I’m close, Javi,” you whine.  He circles your clit faster continuing to drag his thick cock in and out of you.
“Let go, bonita.  Let me see it.”
You tip over the edge, an edge you have never found with a partner before, but you’ve never felt so desired with a partner before and so free in your body.  Javi’s skill with his cock and mouth and fingers is unparalleled for sure, but what does it is the look in his eyes and his filthy words when he fucks you.
He has made it so clear that his arousal is not despite your body, but because of it.  And he made you believe it too.
“Bonita?”
“Mmmm?” you mumble as you come back into your body, the aftershocks of your orgasm spacing farther and farther apart.
Javi is next to you, holding the back of your hand up to his lips as he peppers it with kisses.
“I have a question.”
“What is it?” you crack one eye open.
“Can I go get Erin to set up some cameras? For the next one?” he asks, eyes wide and hopeful.
You bite your lip as a shy smile spreads across your face.  “Yeah, ok.”
“Deliciosa.” He smiles in return before bounding out of the bed towards the door, leaving you giggling on the bed.
You stretch out while you wait for him to return, feeling more at home in your body than you have in a long time. You wiggle your fingers and toes and smile to yourself. The next one is going to be fun.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Translations: Deliciosa/o/son deliciosos – delicious, they are delicious Bonita – beautiful Que linda – how beautiful/pretty Te deseo – I desire you Por supuesto – of course Bueno – good Gracias – thank you Absolutamente – absolutely Lo necesito – I need it Quero verta – I want to see you
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Taglist – in reblog
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magiccath · 3 months
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Secrets big and small
tenth doctor x GN!reader
Summary: in which you are forced to admit your feelings for the Doctor, even if you think he will leave you for it
A/N: For the absolute love of my life and favorite beta, thanks for dealing with me talking about this more than I wrote it
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The Doctor poked his head out of the TARDIS, his nose twitching as he sniffed the air. After a few good inhales, he popped back inside the ship, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 
You waited by the ship's console, your hands planted firmly on your hips. The Doctor had promised you a beach vacation, and judging by his face, this wasn’t a beach. Sometimes you wondered how much control the Doctor actually had over the ship, considering it only landed in the places he intended about 25% of the time. 
“We’re not at a beach are we?” 
The Doctor ignored your question and moved over to the console, grabbing one of the many oddly shaped screens attached to the control panel. He pulled his glasses out of his suit pocket, perching the spectacles on the bridge of his nose. 
“Interesting…” He hummed, more to himself than you. 
“Where did we end up this time?” You asked, opening the door to peek outside. You knew better than to walk off without the Doctor, but a little look had never hurt you. 
The minute you opened the door you were met with the bustling noise of a street. All kinds of aliens walked by you, each one unique in their own way. 
“It would appear we landed on the planet Phact, but I’m not sure why.” 
You continued to stare out of the TARDIS wide-eyed, taking in all of the strange creatures before you. Your eyes followed an individual who walked by, a series of tentacles hanging out of his mouth.
“Is it safe?” you asked as an afterthought.
“As far as I know,” the Doctor shrugged, putting his glasses back in his pocket. He moved away from the console to stand at your side by the door. 
You looked over at him, debating if you should tell him that wasn’t exactly a reassuring thought. 
“Since we’re here…” he smiled cheekily, inclining his head toward the door. You laughed and rolled your eyes. The Doctor never could resist a good adventure. 
You followed him out the door, waiting momentarily as he locked the TARDIS up. 
“Remember that time you forgot to tell me it was rude to wear less than three layers on Titan 4?” you ask, watching him slip the key back into his endless coat pockets.
The Doctor shrugs, pushing his hands into his pockets and leaning toward you. “Yeah, what about it?”
“Is there anything I should know about this planet?” you raise your eyebrows questioningly.
The Doctor’s brow wrinkled as he thought about it, trying to remember his limited knowledge about Phact.
“I don’t think so,” he shrugged again, smiling softly. 
You scrunched your nose slightly, not sure you believed him. Still, you followed him.
The Doctor talked excitedly as the two of you walked through the city streets. Most of the time, you only understood half of the words he was saying. Frankly, you just enjoyed listening to him talk.
As you walked your eyes took in everything around you. It didn’t matter how long you traveled with the Doctor, it always seemed like there was more for you to learn and discover. 
The Doctor continued talking, waving his hands about in the air. Abruptly, he stopped to look at a nearby poster. You followed him, trying to peek over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. The Doctor shifted to the side so you could read the sign too, the TARDIS translation circuit making the writing legible to you.
“The 998th Olympic games?” you read aloud, your eyebrows furrowed. 
“That would explain all of the species here!” he smiled brightly, looking at the diverse crowd around you. 
You nodded in agreement, following his gaze. There really did appear to be all kinds of species from around the galaxy. 
“Want to go?” He whispered to you, raising his eyebrows mischievously. 
“We don’t have tickets. Or money.” 
The Doctor wiggled his eyebrows again, pulling the psychic paper out of his pocket. He shook it at you with a mischievous grin.
A smile took over your own face as you nodded, “alright then,” you said excitedly. You’d never been to the Olympics, let alone the space Olympics. 
The Doctor guided you through the crowd towards the giant area, holding your hand tightly so as not to lose you. You tried not to focus too much on the feeling of his hand wrapped around yours. He just didn’t want you to wander off, there wasn’t much else to it, right?
“Y’know I carried the Olympic torch once,” he smirked back at you, still guiding you through the crowds. 
“Why am I not surprised?” 
“What?” the Doctor asked, not catching your comment over the chatter of the crowd. You smiled softly and shook your head, deciding it was best not to repeat yourself.
The Doctor led you to the ticket line, waiting patiently for the guards to check your tickets and let you in. He bounced slightly on his feet, unable to stand still for too long.
“Are you sure this is going to work?” you asked anxiously, eyeing the copious amounts of security surrounding the arena.
“Of course!” the Doctor smiled brightly, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. The movement made both of you realize he was still holding your hand, even if he didn’t need to. With a small, hardly discernible blush, the Doctor slid his hand from yours. 
The line moved forward and the guard asked for your tickets. The Doctor winked at you before handing the psychic paper over with a confident smile. 
“Are you serious, mate?” The guard laughed dryly, looking between you and the Doctor. 
“Most of the time,” the Doctor’s confident smile didn’t waver. 
The guard sighed and leaned into his walkie-talkie, chattering softly to someone on the other end. You looked up at the Doctor with wide eyes, urging him to explain.
“Probably getting us a special escort or something,” he shrugged, turning the paper around to see what your fake tickets said. When his eyes landed on the paper his face instantly turned ghostly white.
“Doctor…” you growled softly. 
“W-we should probably run now,” he whispered back. Before you could react, the security guard pulled the two of you firmly to the side. 
“Doctor, what is going on?” You whispered as the guard led the two of you to a police car. At least, you assumed it was a police car. Unless flashing red and blue lights meant something else on other planets, it was definitely a police car. 
“I’m sorry,” the Doctor winced softly as the security guard guided the two of you to an officer. The cop looked you up and down before guiding you inside of the car.
“I would feel a lot better if you told me why.” 
You weren’t necessarily mad about the police car, it wasn’t the first time you had gotten arrested on the Doctor’s behalf. Usually, he was able to get you out of it. You were more frustrated that he wasn’t telling you what was happening. 
“Remember Titan 4?” he winced. 
“Doctor!” you snapped angrily, “I specifically asked you if I needed to know anything about this planet!” 
“Right, I know I’m sorry, I forgot,” he whispered, shaking his head softly. 
“How bad is it?” you sighed, looking down at your lap. 
“They’re not gonna kill us,” he shrugged with a sad smile. 
“What did we even do?”
“You can’t lie on Phact.” 
“Like, physically?” 
The Doctor grimaced, thinking the question through, “not exactly,” he offered. You waited for him to further explain. 
“They can tell telepathically if you lie and that ability extends to psychic paper.” 
“I gathered as such,” you sighed, “but that still doesn't explain why we’re in a cop car” 
“It’s illegal to lie.” 
“Seriously?” you gaped, “any kind of lie?” 
The Doctor nodded.
“Even if you tell your friend she looks fine when she really looks a mess 'cause you want to spare her feelings?”
The Doctor frowned but nodded again, more tentatively this time.
“That’s a horrible idea.” 
“Don’t tell them that.”
You sighed softly in agreement.
“I really am sorry,” he looked at you with those big, sad brown eyes of his. It was very, very hard to stay mad at him when he looked at you like that. It was your weakness.
“It’s fine,” you shook your head. “What are they going to do?” 
Before the Doctor could answer, the car stopped and a cop came around to help you out of the car. The officer led you inside a very space-looking police station to a very Earth-looking interrogation room. You sat next to the Doctor in metal fold-out chairs, a table separating you and the officer. At least they didn’t cuff you.
“Names,” the officer groaned, clicking his pen and hovering it over a yellow legal pad. He had the kind of face and demeanor that told you he would rather be anywhere else.
“The Doctor.” 
“Really funny, what’s your actual name?” the officer frowned. 
“That’s my name,” the Doctor pouted, offended that someone would think it wasn’t. You smiled softly to yourself, finding the Doctor’s disappointed frown adorable.
“Fine,” the officer groaned, scribbling it down on his paper. “Age?”
“904,” he said without blinking. You hid your widening smile with your hand. You were starting to feel a little bad for the police officer. 
“You’re how old?”
“904.”
“Species?”
“Gallifreyan.” 
“Never heard of them,” the officer shook his head, writing it down on his paper. “You lot must age differently,” he grumbled, more towards his paper than the two of you.
“Right, and you?” the officer asked, tilting his head in your direction. 
The Doctor nodded softly at you, urging you to comply with the officer’s wishes. You sighed and answered the same questions. The officer just seemed relieved to write down something less ridiculous. 
“Alright,” he slid the paper pad away from him before leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed “You have been charged with a first-class felony of deception. You will not be fined or executed. To be released from custody you must provide your biggest secret”
“That’s it?” you asked, it seemed a little too simple. The officer nodded, clearly fed up with you and the Doctor.
“Look, folks, let’s just make this easier for all of us and get on with it?”
The Doctor nodded his agreement, casting a nervous look over at you. You nodded back, trying to think of something you could say. You knew easily what your biggest secret was, but you knew you couldn’t say it out loud. Especially not in front of the Doctor. 
“I’m terrified of hospitals,” the Doctor said with a small frown. 
“That’s ironic,” you chuckled, assuming he was making a joke. The officer stared at him for a few minutes, probably thinking the same thing. 
“Checks out,” the officer sighed, writing “scared of hospitals” next to his other notes on the Doctor. “Weird secret, mate,” he added before turning his attention to you.
You fiddled anxiously before leaning back in your seat, your eyes trained on your hands. 
“Does he have to be here for it?” you asked softly. The Doctor looked at you confused, wondering what was so bad you didn’t want him to know. 
“I just admitted I'm terrified of hospitals as a doctor, it can't get worse than that,” he laughed.
“Does he?” you asked the officer, ignoring the Doctor. The cop looked between the two of you; the Doctor staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at you, and you trying to act like he wasn’t there.
“Yes,” the officer challenged, leaning back in his seat again. You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering if he only said that to see how things would play out. 
“So, what’s your secret?” he smirked, confirming your suspicions. “I’ll know if you’re lying” 
You sighed, trying to steady your racing heart. You wanted to scream, maybe even cry. You wanted to blame the Doctor, even if it wasn’t really his fault. Even more, you wanted to wipe that stupid, smug smile off of the officer’s face.
You took one last look at the Doctor, smiling sadly at him. He looked back at you with confusion, unsure why you were looking at him as if it was the last time you’d ever see him. To you, it felt like it would be. He could never look at you the same, not after this.
“I’m in love with this idiot,” you sighed, cocking your head towards the Doctor. The silence that followed was deafening. While the Doctor’s brain struggled to process your words the officer sized you up, searching for any falsities in your statement. 
“What a strange pair,” the officer shook his head, leaning forward to write on his pad again. “In love with the other one”
You looked at those words scribbled on the thin, crappy paper and felt your heart clench. It was out there now, the Doctor knew. At the moment, you couldn’t think of anything worse. You would rather spend your entire life in prison than have had to admit that.
“You’re free to go,” the officer waved you off, more preoccupied with writing more things on his paper pad. It seemed so simple, yet one little secret had turned your world upside down.
You nodded solemnly and stood up, heading out the door. The Doctor wasn’t far behind you. 
The walk back to the TARDIS was really quiet, a stark contrast from a few short hours ago. You tried not to sulk too much as you walked through the busy streets back to the ship.
The Doctor unlocked the doors without a word, holding them open for you. You walked inside the ship for what you assumed was the last time. The Doctor followed, heading over to the console to mess with a few buttons. 
“I’ll pack my things,” you whispered, more to the floor than the Doctor. You moved towards the hallway that led to your room but the Doctor cut you off. 
“What?” 
“I’ll pack up,” your eyes remained trained on the floor, not wanting to look into his. You knew the Doctor wasn’t going to keep you around after this. It was glaringly clear that he didn’t have those feelings for you, that he couldn’t.
“Why would you do that?” he frowned, moving away from the console. 
“You’re kicking me out.” 
“I think I would know if I was.” He moved so he was standing in front of you, tilting his head down in an attempt to catch your eye. 
“It’s ok,” you shook your head, your eyes trained on your shoes, “I know you don’t want me around anymore.” 
“Is this about the whole secret thing?” the Doctor asked gently.
“I know you don’t feel the same, I never expected you to,” you shook your head, averting your gaze again. “I’d understand if you just wanted to drop me back at home.” 
“Is that what you want?” 
You shook your head, clearing your throat, “It’s not exactly about what I want is it?” 
The Doctor remained silent, his mind working for the right thing to say. He didn’t fully comprehend what was happening. 
“You’re under the assumption that I’m going to drop you because you love me?” He said softly, still trying to catch your eye. 
“Is that not what’s happening right now?” You frowned, confused. 
The Doctor laughed softly, moving away from you with one long stride. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the spiky strands. You continued to frown at him, confused by his demeanor. 
“I can establish a psychic block,” he explained, waving his hands about as he talked. You frowned, confused as to why he was talking about this now. “I told the officer a secret, but I didn’t tell him my greatest secret.”
He had the kind of look on his face he got when he was trying, and failing, to figure something out. It was a look you knew well at this point, you had just never been the cause of it. 
“There’s so much of you in my head,” he groaned, waving his hands by the sides of his face, “which is saying a lot 'cause I have more in my head than you will ever experience in your entire life.” 
You gaped at him, unsure what you were supposed to say in this scenario. Was this his secret?
“You take up so much space,” he emphasized exasperatedly, repeatedly running his hands through his hair. “Even when you’re not here I’m constantly thinking about you!” He leaned his hands against the console, hanging his head as he continued rambling.
You stared at him like he had grown a second head. No, three extra heads. And a tail. 
“I’m sorry, what?” you asked.
The Doctor moved back over to you, reaching out to cradle your face in his hands. He cupped your cheeks gently and bent his head forward so your foreheads connected. 
“You take up so much space,” he whispered, his breath fanning across your face. “And the fact that you can’t see that kills me, it really kills me.”
“Doctor-” you whispered in shock. In your mind, there was only ever one way that the Doctor could react to your feelings, and this certainly wasn’t it. “Are you saying what I think you are?” 
The Doctor laughed sharply, shaking his head against yours, “You’re clueless, y’know that?”
“You’re not much better,” you frowned back. “But that doesn’t answer my question.” Your heart thudded against your chest, threatening to beat right out of your body. The mere implication that the Doctor could have even a shred of feelings for you was sending your senses into overdrive.
“Yes, I am,” he whispered. That was all you needed. You knew it was hard for him to say things like this. He wasn’t exactly the “I love you” type. The fact that he had said this much already was a wonder. 
You didn’t really think about it, you just kissed him. His lips fit against yours perfectly and the kiss was over much sooner than either of you had wanted.
Your face was still cradled in his hands as the Doctor bent down to press another, quicker kiss against your lips, returning the act of affection. You smiled happily as he pulled back, looking up at him with pure adoration.
“Are you really afraid of hospitals though?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowed. 
“Terrified,” he shook his head.
350 notes · View notes
honestly-mad-person · 2 months
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PUNISHMENT
(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) WARNINGS: jealous, kissing, fondling, oral sex, moaning, sex, orgasm, swearing.
(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) Characters: Zayne/ fem!reader
(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) Annotation: This is my first fanfic in a long time. I hope you enjoy reading it. It's a translation from the original language, so I apologize for any mistakes I made.
(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) Synopsis: You escape from the hospital in the middle of the night because you are afraid of hospitals, but you are caught.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Once again, you disobeyed your doctor's orders and decided to sneak out of the hospital at night. Everything was going great until you were blinded by headlights and the soft sound of an engine as you left the hospital in the darkness of night. Frightened as a deer, you froze when you heard the door open and the sound of footsteps coming your way.
— I knew you'd run away, – Zayne's cold voice said as he walked toward you.
Suddenly, shivers ran down your spine. You clenched your hands and prepared to feel the wrath of your hospital.
— I just went out to get some fresh air! – You sounded uncertain when you met Zayne's eyes.
— It's already 1:00 AM, you know? – his eyes reflected his disbelief at your pathetic excuse.
— Yes... – you whimpered, looking down.
The cold night air caressed your neck, causing another wave of shivering. You see him approach you, taking confident steps toward you. His fingers were on your chin, and with a sharp movement, he forced you to raise your head to meet his gaze.
The expression on his face made you shrink even more, biting the inside of your cheek.
His eyebrows, furrowed, came together on the bridge of his nose, and his gaze, directed directly into your soul, caused new waves of goosebumps to spread through your body.
— You're not a good liar, – Zayne said calmly, but with a hint of irritation, examining your face for a few seconds, his eyes wandering from your eyes to your lips. – You could have refused hospitalization right away, like I said.
Thinking back to the time you snuck into the hospital after catching a cold from the draft, avoiding Zayne, you still failed. As you sat in Dr. Grayson's office, you caught a glimpse of a familiar figure in the doorway.
— I hope he doesn't see me, – you thought, trying to hide your face.
Seeing this reaction, Dr. Grayson smiled gently.
— You don't have to worry about Zayne's anger... As a doctor, he rarely cares as much about his patients as you do. In any case, he'll just grumble, that's all.
— I-I know, Dr. Grayson, – your voice was quiet for fear of being seen.
Looking down at your hands in your lap, you intertwined your fingers, imagining Zayne's face if he found out you were sick. He has enough to worry about at work, so you didn't want to worry him with such trivialities.
— Still, I'd recommend that you stay in the hospital for additional observation, – Dr. Grayson shook his head and looked at the tests again, – for your safety.
You understood what the doctor meant. Touching your chest, you tried to feel your own heartbeat.
— I can't stay here, doctor… – your eyes went up to the doctor, begging him to think of something else.
Grayson's eyebrows rose up in surprise for a few seconds, and after clearing his throat, he looked down at the sheet of paper in his hands, which was directed over your shoulder.
— And yet, I insist on hospitalization, – he replied, exhaling.
— But I...
— Yeah, we can't force you to stay here, – Zayne's voice sounded cold as ice behind you.
Twitching, you turned your head to meet his gaze. As always, he was serious and demanding.
Your eyes widened and your heart skipped a few beats.
— It's not as serious as you think, Dr. Zayne, – you defended yourself, feeling your heart beat faster under his gaze.
— Of course I believe you, – he replied, walking over to the table and taking your test results, "which we doctors can understand.
His words made your chest pang.
— I didn't mean that...
Your gaze was still riveted on his face. Even from the side, you could feel his strength, watching his jaw clench and his muscles stand out slightly. Eyes down, you waited meekly for him to speak.
— Dr. Grayson is right about you being hospitalized, – Zayne said sharply, handing the sheet back to Grayson.
His voice sounded a little different than usual. As if he was irritated, but you weren't sure what the reason was. Or maybe you were imagining it.
Without another word, he turned around and walked out of the office without looking at you.
Your heart went cold in your chest as you watched him disappear around the corner, and with a sigh, you turned your gaze to Dr. Grayson.
— I've never seen him so serious… – he said, shaking his head.
For a moment, you saw the corner of his lips turn up, but it was only a moment.
— O-okay... If that's really necessary… – your voice sounded hoarse and you immediately coughed, covering your mouth with your hand.
— I'm glad to hear that, – Dr. Grayson smiled warmly, nodding his head. – A nurse will escort you to the hospital.
Standing up from the chair, you looked at the doctor one last time, while your mind raced with thoughts of running away from this place tonight.
— It's... my health, – you answered him and left the office.
And now, trying to leave the hospital unnoticed in the middle of the night, you were caught by someone who caused waves of different emotions in your body.
— Well… – you muttered almost audibly, trying to look at anything but Zayne's piercing gaze.
Letting go of your chin, he actually ordered you:
— Get in the car, it's the doctor's order, – he turned and walked to the car without looking at you.
Running away from him now would have been very stupid, because sooner or later they would have met in his office. He was your doctor, and because of your job, you had to undergo medical examinations that were approved by his signature. Lowering your head as if before an execution, you followed him in, and when Zayne opened the door for you to sit down, your gaze lingered on his face for a second. Tense and serious.
The car was warm, the smell of his cologne was pleasant, and you shivered as the cold of the night released you from his arms. Your hands, which had managed to freeze, slowly warmed up as you followed the tall figure in front of you as he stepped into the headlights. The door opened and Zayne was behind the wheel. His hand was on the steering wheel, the other on the gear knob, and with a sharp movement, he got the car moving.
The atmosphere in the cabin was very heavy. The soft light from the dashboard illuminated your faces. You sat there, hardly breathing, feeling Zayne's strange aura. You didn't even try to ask where he was taking you.
Your eyes fell to his hands, which were skillfully steering the car. Large, strong, and well-shaped, they mesmerized you, allowing you to relax for a while. You watched the tendons in his arms move, the veins standing out, casting a faint shadow. You realized that he was holding the steering wheel too tightly.
Tilting your head, you turned your gaze to his face. In the dim light, you could still make out his expression. He was even more gloomy than he had been during the day, and it was obvious.
The muscles in his jaw moved again as he let out:
— Why are you looking at me like that?
Shuddering, you looked at the road, biting your lip and pressing your back against the seat, wanting to dissolve.
— Nothing, just like that...
Without answering, Zayne continued to watch the road. T felt a jolt forward and looked at the speedometer and frowned. It was moving up to 130 kilometers per hour rather quickly.
— Zayne? – you said his name softly and looked at him. – That's fast...
— Don't worry, the road is clear now, – he replied shortly, his voice calm and cool.
— Where are you going in such a hurry?
He didn't say anything, and you saw the muscles in his jaw play again and his Adam's apple turn.
You drove in silence all the way to your final destination, and when you saw your house in front of you, your heart fluttered.
— We're here, – Zayne stated dryly, turning off the engine and getting out of the car.
He opened the door, letting you out into the chill of the night, which made you shiver. Another chill ran down your neck and you coughed. As soon as you did, Zayne's cold gaze bore into you.
— It's just a cough, nothing to worry about...
— Yeah, – his hand grabbed your wrist and Zayne pulled you toward the entrance, – don't stand here and get yourself into more trouble.
You followed him, feeling his firm grip on your arm. His fingers were loosely wrapped around it, squeezing it tightly enough that you couldn't escape if you thought about it.
— Zayne? – you asked, standing in front of the door of the house.
— Open the door, – he said in his low, raspy voice.
You wondered what he was up to as you put the key in the lock and turned it to open the door. Soon enough, you found yourself standing together at the door of your quarters. Zayne nodded silently toward the door, not taking his eyes off you.
Strangely, this made a faint ripple in your stomach.
Crossing the threshold of the apartment, Zayne closed the door, still looking at you like a hungry man looking at a piece of bread.
He took two steps closer to you and furrowed his brow, looking into your eyes. Your body began to shake slightly under his gaze. Licking your dry lips, you wait for what will happen next.
— Tell me why I found you in Grayson's office today, – his voice sounded lower than usual with the same hint of irritation.
— I didn't want to bother you with my cold… – you look away from him, feeling guilty for being sick. – I heard you had a couple of emergency surgeries that day, so...
Suddenly, you felt his arms wrap around your waist and pull you close. You were literally pressed together so tightly that you could feel his heartbeat with your palms, which instinctively came between the two of you.
Zayne leaned in and the hot air of his breath on your ear made you shiver.
— How could you think that, huh? – he wheezed, his lips barely touching your ear. – No matter how many surgeries I've performed, I'll always have time for you.
Your eyes widened at his words and a blush appeared on your face. Zayne's voice echoed in your mind, and after realizing the reason for his behavior, your heart beat faster.
— Were you upset today because I was in the hospital for a cold or because I was with a different doctor than you? – you said quietly, looking down at your hands still resting on Zayne's broad chest.
— Both, – he answered shortly, holding your body tighter to his.
For a second, you stopped breathing, feeling a tickle inside your stomach. Still feeling his warm breath on your skin, you silently spread your fingers, stroking his chest. At this small gesture, you felt Zayne twitch slightly, and his arms tightened around your waist.
You were afraid that if this went on, it was very likely that your own doctor would break you in half.
— Z-zayne, not so hard… – you muttered, and gently pressed your hands against his chest, trying to push him away.
He tightened his arms even more, not answering. Breathing became difficult and panicked, you turned to him again.
— Zayne, please! – you squeaked, feeling his arms begin to loosen.
Exhaling a sigh of relief, you closed your eyes for a second, feeling him lift his head from your shoulder and meeting his eyes. Slowly, you did the same. When your eyes met his, you held your breath for a moment. You saw a glint of something strange in his pupils that you hadn't noticed before. What was it?
Your hands went up to his neck and touched his cool skin, gently pulling him to you, closing the distance between you. You could literally feel his breath on your lips, see him looking at you through half-closed eyelashes and his fingers roaming over your back, gently caressing it.
— Zayne… – your voice was soft and quiet. – You always take care of me, even when you're exhausted...
Your eyes closed and your lips touched his, merging in a gentle kiss. You could hear his deep and muffled moan coming from his throat. The feeling of warmth on your lips spread throughout your body. You felt his tongue brush over them, and without further ado, your lips opened, letting him in. Your tongues danced, intertwining and making wet sounds.
Zayne's arms tightened around your waist, causing a new wave of goosebumps to form on your skin and then you felt warmth spreading down your stomach.
When you broke the kiss, you looked into his eyes. They were no longer cold and prickly. They were now sparkling with desire. Looking down, you glanced at his lips, which were slightly parted.
Zayne exhaled loudly and pulled your lips into a kiss again. This time, more greedy and lustful. Now, he brazenly took possession of your mouth, exploring every inch of it, moving his tongue inexorably.
This made you breathless, your legs went soft, and sensing this, he picked you up, holding you by the waist. Instinctively, you clung to him with your arms and legs.
His lips left you alone only when your back was against the couch. Opening your eyes, you saw Zayne hovering overhead and slowly let go of him, running your fingers around his neck. Smiling, you kept your gaze on his eyes.
— I'm going to see Dr. Zayne more often and only him, – you said, getting comfortable.
You felt him between your legs, felt him trying not to press against you. Again, his muscles played on his face as he nodded silently in response to your words. You pulled him close again. Your lips merged once more in a kiss and you moaned softly as you felt his fingers slide under your shirt, touching your skin. His fingers trailed down his torso, noting how tense he was now.
Suddenly, Zayne pulls away from you and looks into your eyes, trying to breathe steadily.
— We should stop this now.
— But why? – without thinking, this question comes out of your mouth.
— You... You might regret it if we continue… – Zayne's voice was hoarse and quiet, enough to send a wave of shivers down your spine.
— No… – you whispered, your hips rising so that you could barely press against him.
Even so, you could feel the fabric of his pants stretching, not to mention how wet your own panties were.
Looking down at his neck, your face turned red.
— I won't regret it, because it's you... – seemingly ordinary words, but now they were the trigger for both of them.
— Are you sure? – Zayne asked, burning your neck with his hot breath.
— Yes, – you squeaked out, tilting your head to give him more room to move.
Zayne's lips softly touched your neck, and soon you felt his teeth close around it. You squeak and arch up, your fingers tightening around his shoulders.
— Zayne... please… – your eyes closed for a moment as you whimpered.
He immediately pulled away and his tongue ran over the bite, causing a new wave of trembling. Resting one hand on the couch, he reached under your shirt again with the other. His fingers confidently found their way up to your breasts and when they found what they were looking for, they forced your body to arch to meet them. His hand came over your tit and slowly squeezed it, teasingly.
The warmth in your lower abdomen became even more palpable and, shuddering once again, you felt your own juice flowing out of you. This made your face flush even more with shame.
Soon after, hearing Zayne's guttural moan, you feel him pull away from you. You open your eyes, which are clouded with desire, and watch as he deftly undoes the buttons on your shirt. His gaze is still serious and it makes you smile at the corner of your lips. Every time his fingers touched your skin, you arched your back.
You could see his reaction when his hands twitched slightly and the muscles in his face moved.
— Zayne… – you whispered, putting your hand on top of his and meeting his eyes, – I'm so happy you didn't let me run away.
His eyes widened for a moment, but after a second they narrowed again, boring into you with a hungry gaze.
— I'm also... very glad I didn't let you do that, – he undid the last button and, with your help, took off your shirt and threw it to the floor, ran his fingers down your neck, between your breasts, touching your bra and shaking his head, looked up at you.
Soon, your breathing became ragged again, and moans escaped your lips. Zayne removed your bra and sent it to the floor with your shirt, and then he pressed his lips to your neck again, going lower.
Sinking your fingers into his hair, your body arched as his fingers squeezed your nipple, which was already quite swollen, as he covered your skin with kisses, inch by inch.
When his fingers replaced his mouth, you tilted your head back, biting your lip and gripping his hair tighter.
— Too sensitive around here, aren't you? – Zayne's voice teased.
Your thoughts were already jumbled and you barely understood what he was saying. Your heart was pounding in your throat, and your body was shaking.
— Zayne, please... Ah, more… – you whispered, your body arching to meet him.
He didn't need to be told twice, so he eagerly sucked on your nipple, caressing it with the tip of his tongue. Feeling his hot lips, the way his saliva covered your swollen skin, you couldn't hold back your moans mixed with whimpers. Your hips moved unsuccessfully, trying to find the point of connection with Zayne.
— You need to wait a little longer, – he said, turning his attention to the other nipple. – Consider this your punishment for your behavior today.
With a pitiful groan, you looked at Zayne, at the way he was absorbing every inch of your sensitive area, the way his fingers caressed your saliva-soaked nipple, and the way he deliberately kept away from your pelvis, ignoring your efforts to rub against it.
— Ah, Zayne, I said I was sorry… – you groaned, your vision blurring and your body trembling with an overwhelming desire that ate you up from the inside out.
— You always apologize and then you disobey your doctor's orders again, – he replied, moving away from your nipple and kissing your skin, moving down to your stomach.
— Zayne. I swear, I will follow your every order! Honestly! – you felt his kisses on your skin and arched your back to meet him.
— I don't believe it, – he replied briefly, and then sat down and unzipped your pants, pulling them down along with your panties, watching the thin thread of your arousal stretching across the fabric, soon breaking.
— Are you already so wet from just kissing me? – Zayne said, watching as you squeezed your legs together, shielding your pussy from his gaze.
Zayne's hands went to your knees and in one motion, he forced you to spread your legs, making you squeal and feel dizzy.
— Are you so ashamed that you're trying to fight your desires? – his fingers moved between her lips, collecting the juices with their tips and brushing against her swollen clit, Zayne brought them to his lips, licking up your secretions.
Feeling his fingers down there, where you needed him, your eyes rolled back at that brief pleasure, causing you to moan. Breathing heavily, you watched as he licked his fingers steadily, tasting you.
— Zayne, please... Please have mercy on me, please… – you whimpered, raising your hips, looking at his face and then at his hands.
Watching your actions, Zayne parted his lips and moaned gutturally. His gaze, which had been eating you whole, now stopped between your legs. A vein appeared in his neck from how much you needed him, and swallowing hard, he looked up at you.
It made your body shudder. There was something strange about his gaze, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it because your thoughts were jumbled with growing desire.
Zayne's hands went around your waist and with one jerk, he pulled your body closer to him, making you squeak again.
With trembling hands, you touched his hands that were squeezing you and whispered again:
— Zayne... Please... Please do something to me... I need you so bad... Please…
Zayne didn't let you finish, leaning in for a greedy kiss before his free hand slipped between your bodies and rested on your sensitive nub. While his powerful tongue dominated your mouth, his fingers wandered between your lips, rubbing your secretions. When the fingertips came across your clit, your body arched and the moans that escaped your chest disappeared into a deep kiss.
Your breathing was getting harder and your head was spinning, but your arms were wrapped tightly around Zayne's neck, not wanting to let go. When he broke the kiss, the thoughts in your head finally turned to mush. The only thing you understood and wanted at that moment was Zayne. You needed him.
— Tell me what you want me to do to you, – his voice sounded hoarse above your ear, causing goosebumps, but you didn't hear him.
All your attention was focused on his fingers moving around your clit, deliberately avoiding the entrance. Zayne's light bite on your shoulder brought you to your senses and you looked up at him with a blurry gaze and moaned.
— Zayne...
— I want to hear your voice, speak, – his eyes looked at you as if you were a tasty morsel he was about to eat.
— You… – you wheezed, your berdas already rubbing against his fingers, wanting him to enter your hot womb.
— One more time, – he ordered, kissing your shoulder, letting out a strangled moan.
It was obvious that he was finding it increasingly difficult to control his erection, but it was not impossible. He wanted to make sure that his beloved patient would realize her mistakes and not disobey his orders anymore, and then he would give them both what they needed right now.
— Speak! – Zayne growled, clamping his teeth down on your nipple.
It made you cry out loud, arching and trembling.
— I want you! I want you so bad! So bad! I'll do anything you say, just please... Let me feel you inside me, please… – you begged, barely holding back tears at how Zayne was torturing you so heartlessly now.
— Should I believe your words? – Zayne asked as he slowly moved down your body, kissing your skin.
— Yes! I will! I promise! – the cry of need burst from your chest and with every kiss Zayne gave you, you flowed even more.
Your body moved to meet his lips. Removing his fingers, which had been slowly moving around your clit until then, Zayne looked up at you, crazy with desire.
— Don't forget this, princess, – with these words he plunged between your legs and his tongue confidently passed between your folds, licking your juices. As it rose to the top, the tip touched your clit, causing lightning to flash through your body. Your fingers sank back into his black hair, pressing against him.
— Fuck... Zayne, ahh... – you moaned as his lips gently wrapped around your clit, sucking on it.
The tip of his tongue caressed your pearl sensuously and tenderly, causing your legs to tremble. You could feel how eagerly he was pressing against you, how he was making eights.
The pleasure of his movements tightened in your lower abdomen. Zayne reached down and touched your clit with the tip of his nose and entered you with his tongue, feeling your heat inside. In an instant, he threw your legs over his shoulders and squeezed your hips tightly, penetrating you deeper and deeper each time.
In a symphony of your moans mixed with incoherent mumbling and ragged breathing, you gripped his hair tighter, leaning against him.
He shifted his position again, returning his lips to your clit and freeing one hand, his finger penetrated your womb, causing you to shiver again.
Immediately after he penetrated you, he added another finger, forcing you to arch up. Feeling his movements inside you, stretching you, his tongue diligently caressing your clit, you felt on the edge.
— Zayne! I.... I'm cuming soon! Mhh! – arching under his actions, feeling him accelerate inside, your eyes rolled with pleasure and you were almost cumming when he abruptly pulled away from you, pulling his fingers out.
Whimpering loudly, you wriggled against him, letting go of his hair.
— Zayne... Please, I want to cum! – you cried out, looking up at him, your eyes lustful and dark with desire.
— This is your punishment for disobedience, take it for granted, – he replied, and stood up from the couch while his hands began to quickly and impatiently pull off his clothes.
All you could do was watch as Zayne exposed his torso, then pulled down his pants and boxers. For a split second, as you focused your gaze, you noticed a wet spot on the fabric. Your breathing became faster as your gaze settled on his erect dick, with a swollen vein visible on the shaft.
Its size seemed to be too much for you, and you looked into his eyes with desire and fear at the same time.
Catching your gaze, Zayne closed his eyes and returned to the couch, nestled between your legs, giving you a kiss on the forehead.
— Don't worry, princess... I'll try to make the discomfort go away quickly… – as a doctor, he knew pain was inevitable, so he didn't lie to her face.
Your eyelashes fluttered as Zayne touched your forehead and a soft moan escaped your lips as you felt a hot cock touch your thigh.
— M–may I? – you asked hoarsely, looking up at him as his hand slipped between your bodies.
— I'd be happy to.. – Zayne whispered in your ear, leaning his elbows on the couch, feeling your fingers wrap around his cock and guide it into your womb.
He was doing his best not to enter you himself, patiently waiting for you to do so. Lowering yourself a little, you wrapped your legs around his waist and when the head touched your hole, you joined in sync. Feeling Zayne slowly push himself inside, plunging his head in, you both moaned.
— You're so tight, my God… – he moaned in your ear and after a few seconds of standing still, he continued to penetrate you.
— Ah! It's too big! – you screamed, your nails digging into his back, leaving new, red stripes among the many tightened scars.
— Bear with me, princess… – his brow furrowed at the pain he had caused you, but he was doing his best to make you get used to him as quickly as possible.
Feeling how tight it was inside of you and how you were shivering and sobbing while he was inside of you, Zayne lifted his head and looked into your eyes, filled with tears that were about to spill down your cheeks, his lips touched yours, giving you a gentle kiss.
Soon, Zayne started moving and the pain turned into pleasure with every friction of his cock against your walls.
— Do you feel better? – he asked as he penetrated you so deeply that his head hit your cervix, causing you to moan and arch your back.
— Y-yes... Zayne, please... Please... Move, please! – you wrapped your arms around him, wanting to press against him even harder, to absorb him inside you, to disintegrate with pleasure.
Listening to your whimpers, he groaned gutturally and you felt his full weight on you as he pinned you to the couch and pounded into you faster and faster each time. With each thrust, Zayne knocked the air out of your lungs, causing your eyes to roll back and forth with the pleasure he was giving you. The bodies, so tightly intertwined together, became sticky with sweat from their proximity.
The room was filled with moans, wet sounds of their bodies hitting each other, and incomprehensible mumbling.
— Zayne, Zayne, Zayne!!! – whispering in his ear, you felt that you were on the verge of pleasure and afraid that he would stop again before she came, her arms became tighter, which made it a little difficult for him to move, but it only made him more excited.
— You're ready to cum, aren't you? – Zayne whispered hotly into your ear and leaned one arm on the couch, his fingers in your hair and clenching the strands tightly in his fist, his tongue tracing your neck, where a vein stood out from the tension. – Cum for me, princess, I want to feel you squeeze me inside, as you cum, do it.
You could barely hear his words, absorbed in the sensations. His movements became stronger, rougher, and faster. The rhythm made your body arch, your muscles clench, and your eyes roll with orgasm.
— Fuck... Yeah, good girl, good girl… – Zayne cursed under his breath, keeping himself from coming from how hard you were squeezing his cock inside you. – But I don't want to stop there.
Without giving you a chance to catch your breath, he grabs your waist, keeping up his pace and sitting on the couch, sitting on top of you.
Your body is shaking too much. You don't know if it's from pleasure or from the coldness you feel from Zayne, because the ability to hold you left you a few minutes ago.
You fell onto his chest, hugging his neck as he squeezed your buttocks tightly, moving your hips with ease. From a new angle, the head of his cock was hitting your sensitive spot, and the way you were arching and pressing against him, you were rubbing your clit against him.
— Fuck, princess... I can't think straight when I'm fucking you like this… – Zayne growled as he lowered himself and began to move his hips, pinning you to him, moving his arm around your waist until his free hand grabbed your hair and yanked it back, forcing you to tilt your head back.
His lips found yours and covered them ruthlessly, as if he were trying to eat you all at once. His tongue moved brazenly in your mouth as you moaned in pleasure, trembling more and more each time. At some point, your body shook violently again and your muscles clenched, forcing Zayne to break the kiss and tilt his head back, clench his teeth, and continue at the same pace.
— Ah, yes, my good girl, good girl… – moaned Zayne, feeling you cumming on his cock again. – One more time, princess... I want you to cum again...
— Ugh… – a hoarse moan escaped your lips as his lips touched your sweaty shoulder.
Speechless, you couldn't say anything and only wrapped your arms around his neck again with trembling, weakened hands.
— You're still so damn tight, princess, – Zayn groaned softly, gripping your waist tighter, moving inside you even more actively than before.
With each stroke, each time, his head seemed to pierce your insides deeper and deeper. A bolt of pleasure suddenly shot through your body, and as you dug your nails into Zayne's shoulders, tears spilled from your eyes.
— Fuck, fuck, fuck! – Zayne moaned in your ear, holding your soft body against him, driving into you so fast that you didn't have the chance to take even the slightest breath. – I love you! More than anything! I love you! Fuck!
His voice mingled with your frantic heartbeat in your ears, with the squelching sounds, the sounds of impacts, and your own hoarse scream when you were able to breathe again. Your head fell back on his shoulder, your heart pounded frantically in your throat, and your body was so sensitive to orgasms that every slight movement Zayne made made your whole body shake.
You were both breathing heavily, clinging to each other. The hot semen that had spurted into your womb was slowly trickling down the shaft of your cock.
Being on the verge of consciousness, you pushed the tip of your nose into his neck with the last of your strength as everything in your eyes went dark.
Feeling you go limp in his arms, Zayne gently stroked your hair as he regained his own breath.
— Oh, princess... Why do you stir my heart so much? – he asked in the silence, closing his eyes for a moment and kissing your forehead.
Looking at your heated but calm face, at the way your eyelashes fluttered, the way you breathed, Zayne closed his eyes.
— I'll always be there for you, – Zayne said, wrapping his fingers around a strand of hair behind your ear that had fallen onto your face, and gently picking you up, letting his cock slip out of you.
— And I'll always take care of you, – he kissed your forehead again and carried you to the bathroom to fulfill his promise to you.
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