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amphibeans · 9 months

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September 17 - small steps

Hi and welcome from the studio, glad you'd made it again to this silly website I'm constantly curating (or the readers from Tumblr!). I had many different talks with some of my kind and awesome friends about this project and I'm so glad to say that they're inspired to do the same kind of thing that I'm doing at the moment ! One thing I love about us as human beings is that we love using inspiration from each other. Sure, some of us take all the inspiration and therefore turns into plagiarism, but the ones with a way to learn new things have a good knack of taking the right amounts of inspiration to make something new and refreshing. It's not easy coming up with new ideas, because probably every single idea ever created probably exists today, but I feel that my friends who are inspired to do something similar to what I'm doing have their unique spin. And I support them all the way for it ! Now let's get into the thought machine, shall we?

The week

To be frank, this week was very uneventful. Mainly because it was mostly school that was starting up for real this time and that I had to put a lot of my hobbies on the side again. I still luckily have time to work on that stuff without worrying too much about school, but not as much as the week before. And I feel like this gap might shrink more and more as I get more tests and tasks I need to finish.But let's not get ahead of ourselves, looking into a future is never a good idea because you can't predict what will happen in it. One of my good friends told me this and I've been thinking about it ever since. Anyways, one thing I was really excited to start doing more full-time again every day is music lessons. I have it two hours on Monday normally but for a limited amount of time one of the lessons is replaced with a lesson about planning, I'll tell more about that later. At the moment of writing I was also tasked to read two books: one in Dutch (my mother tongue) and one in English for their respective subjects. The book I'm reading for Dutch is a biography on the life of Steve Jobs and for English it's Frankenstein.

The dream, being able to do this full-time

However, I still help a lot of the first-years here learning a new instrument and starting to create music together. It's a nice experience, albeit a loud one sometimes because if you give someone tools that really are fun to use they are gonna use it to death. But in most cases I find a peace within the music room where I can just play my heart out without being laughed at. I hope that I can later bring this more outside a music room and into a venue.Most of the week was fine, nothing really special to talk about. I had a chat with my friends and that's all that matters.

I wake up biking to get to school to these views every morning, they remind me of nostalgia

Whilst I was waiting on the train, I leant back and saw this cloud formation behind me, it reminded me of GLOW ON by Turnstile and I had to take a picture of it

Trying new things

This week I tried something that I usually don't do when school is finished and had thought that it would not work in hindsight. Every day after school is done I try to get home as soon as possible, to just get away from the stress I have of performing well in school. It however didn't work in the way I wanted it to work. When I went home I still was stressed and working on homework went very slow and was very tiring to say the least. But that changed after I had a talk with my planning teacher that I talked about earlier. He gave me the advice to study not at home but try to study at school for a bit. I followed this advice, and sure enough I felt much better going home. The only downside to this system is that I'm an hour later at home and far more hungrier. But my main problem that was pestering me a few years back now doesn't seem that big anymore. I learned this way that it's not bad to try new stuff. It might seem scary and perhaps have the opposite effect on what you're trying to strife, but in every occasion and perspective you look at it from you gain new and thoughtful information. Once you take this astronomical step, you're heading in a new direction and perhaps even an interesting one. To get there, repetition is key here. Say it out loud multiple times ! So don't be afraid to try new things that might change your systems for the better. I know it's hard to do so, nothing in this world is ever easy. Start easy and let it grow until you've fully committed. I send you all my encouragement.

A park I come across frequently whilst going on my morning commute, taken on the first day I felt calm after studying at school

Procrastinating

Many of us come across procrastinating in our lives. Sometimes we don't even notice it until it's specifically mentioned to us by someone else or the thinking machine sitting confidently in our head. Writing this blog is constantly a battle with procrastinating. I need to confess that writing it takes a very long time, and it's very grueling and time-consuming. But the reason I don't stop is because it lets me have talks like this where I learn new stuff about myself on the way. But yes, procrastination is seen as a bad thing to most people; because you're actively trying to not work on something urgent. And for a long time I have been sitting with that same mindset. My school expects me to study almost every day, even on weekends. I major in math and science and therefore this sentiment reigns even more supreme; I have atleast 4 tests a week on average. So actively avoiding work like this might seem like I'm digging my grave and I'm going to fail the school year. But that is not true in the slightest. Last year was one of the worst years I ever had growing up mentally. Mainly because a ton of teachers told me that "the second-to-last year before graduation is the worst year" and I take things literally on face value a lot of the time. Studying for me went like a drag and I expected to honestly do the year over again. Consider me shocked when I got my results back and went on to the next year. I procrastinated a lot a year ago, and to see me make it out (albeit barely but that's a story for another time) made me question how. For me now, procrastination is not really the bad thing that it is now. After really evaluating why I do it it's more of a coping mechanism. In reality, procrastinating is a way to prepare yourself mentally with the task at hand, but unfortunately a ton of that mental energy is wasted in worrying. Trying to get out of that worry-spiral is not gonna happen immediately, but telling yourself "I'm gonna be fine, this is good for my mental health" can be a good step into beating these blues. Life lesson therefore is to not worry, and let yourself rest when it needs to. Don't worry about people being mad about something else if you do, your mental health is more important.

Before signing off, I'm gonna introduce a new rubric to my blogs, and that is "Song of the Week" ! It's inspired by two things: The constant new songs I'm getting from my Discover Weekly on Spotify and one of my friends who does their "Song of the Day", which I find absolutely amazing. This week's song of the week is Thunderbird by Dessert and Still by black midi. Both beautifully orchestrated, the former having gorgeous vocal layers and the latter a climactic buildup with constantly something new to offer. Check those singles out in my playlist here. Thank you once again for reading, I'm sorry if this might be a bit more messy than the previous week, writing can be very hard sometimes. Hope you don't mind and catch you next time ! - Acacian

#blog #student life #lifestyle #music blog #musician #photography #outdoors #books and reading

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archangelmacaron · 2 years

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NTMF College AU Chapter 27

oh boy let's see if I can format this right on mobile... Nope gotta redo all formatting by hand again. Oof.

CW again for violence and general warning for my inability to write action scenes 😅

It... hurts.

Noel couldn't think of anything else as consciousness unfortunately returned to her. She wanted to black out again. The pain was agonizing.

“Are you awake again, Noelly? That noise you made when he popped your eye out was hilarious! ‘Uwagghh!’” Spica imitated her scream, giggling.

Blinking through the haze of tears in her remaining eye, she could see Ribellio was still holding her down, his own eyes vacant. Blood was splashed on his face, and she felt even more nauseated as she realized it was hers. She forced herself to look over to Spica.

Her roommate was sitting on Caron's back, legs crossed casually as she twirled the cattle prod in her hand. “And your boyfriend, my god, I actually thought he might have gotten up at that! That urge to protect you is so cute. I cooked him pretty well, though. You can probably smell it, right? It's making me weirdly hungry for fried chicken... heh, look at that twitch, he really hates being called a bird, doesn't he?”

Noel let a frustrated moan, angry she couldn't stop it from becoming a sob. Caron looked to be unconscious. Spica laughed again.

“Oh, don't worry, he's still alive. I'm not gonna kill him while you're sleeping, silly.”

She tried to take in a deep breath without sobbing in pain and frustration again.

It's pointless to say anything to her... it's pointless to fight... what am I supposed to do?

Spica clapped her hands together in delight again. “Okay, so you're awake enough, let's play something else. Hmm... What other fun things can I make Ribby do to you?”

She heard Caron groan. She looked over. His eyes were fluttering open. His expression, as he saw her, was agonized. She tried again to smile reassuringly, although it was pointless to pretend that she was fine with a hole in her face. She couldn't reach him anymore, even though his arm was still outstretched. Spica must have kicked them further apart.

Maybe if I die quickly... he won't have to watch anymore...

Spica was still talking to herself. “Hmm... let's save that for later, but that'll definitely be fun... Okay, Ribby! I decided. Pull off her arm now!”

Caron tried to move again. Spica stomped on him, smiling brightly. Noel closed her remaining eye tightly shut. This is really, really going to hurt—

“...no... no...”

Eh?

She blinked, looking up. Ribellio had his own eyes clenched shut. His hands were gripping her shoulders painfully tight. She could feel him shaking.

“Excuse me?” Spica stood up. “Ribellio. What did you just fucking say to me?”

“No... I'm not... I'm not gonna do this anymore!” His eyes shot open, and she recognized her classmate in them. He was breathing heavily, and she could see sweat dripping down his face. “Cerquetti, I’m sorry… I can’t…”

He's—he's breaking her mind control? Ribellio, keep fighting! Please!

Spica kicked his side, seeming to hit a particularly sensitive spot as he let out a horrible sound. It pushed him off of Noel, and she stepped on him, thrusting the weapon in his face. “You little shit—you wanna play that game? Are you forgetting about all your little friends back home? If you don't fucking shape up right now, this is the least I'll make you do to them! I'll fucking feed them to you in little pieces I'll make you tear them into! I gave you a fucking order, you stupid dog!”

Noel felt something heavy on top of her, distracting her from the conversation. Caron had dragged himself over to her, and was covering her protectively. "Ca… ron…"

His hand gently touched the uninjured side of her face. “S...sorry... I can't... get us... out of here...”

I’m so glad… I got to touch you again…

She threw her working arm around him, holding him as tightly as she could with it. “I know, it's okay, I know, I love you.”

He pressed his face into her neck, underneath all her pain, she could feel the little pinch of the earlier bite mark as he nuzzled against her. “I am... very glad I met you… It was so fast, I didn't expect it… but you mean everything to me now."

She nodded, smiling despite all of the pain, and gently kissed his neck. "Even though it was so short, my time with you has been the happiest in my entire life. I'm really glad… I at least got to say it…"

The moment was interrupted by Spica's cursing growing louder. “You fucking shit—“

Both of them cringed as purple electricity cracked from Spica's prod. She was using it on Ribellio, and it was even more clear now that it wasn't normal sparks. Noel had no idea what power she was drawing on, it felt like lightning was striking in the room. “Do what I fucking say!”

The man's body was still for a long moment when she pulled the prod back. Noel feared Spica might have accidentally killed him when suddenly he sat up again. His eyes were empty once more.

No...

Spica let out an angry huff. Her chest was heaving with exertion. “Can't even... call you a good boy, after that little outburst... fucker... Now get over there and—“

It wasn't lightning that flashed this time.

It was fire, a fireball that hit Spica in the center of her chest. She went flying. Ribellio spun around towards the doorway and mindlessly charged at the latest threat—Fugo.

“Ribellio—?! Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell's going on? Dude, I just saved your ass!” he managed to yell as he dodged, throwing some warning flames at the man. “Noel, why's your classmate suddenly fuckin nuts?”

She coughed as she tried to answer. “Fugo, it’s not him, it's... Spica... she's forcing him to—“

“Okay, cool, but I took her out and he's still comin' at me so what the hell am I supposed to do?! Fuck!”

"Try to knock him out! He isn't doing this of his own will, please don't kill him!"

"Can you tell him not to kill me? Shit!" Fugo's next fireball missed and shot through a window, breaking it and bringing the rain and howling wind inside. “You two get the fuck outta here!”

Us... two?

She heard Caron let out another groan of exertion, making it up to his knees and pulling her up with him. He let out another grunt as he ducked to the side, covering her with his body again as he dodged Ribellio. Fugo slid over beside them, hurling another flame to push the other man further back.

“Caron, if you get Noel the fuck out of here safely I swear I won't set you on fire again, got it? And if you get Jillian out, too, fuck, I'll make a damn speech at your wedding." He finally noticed her injury and turned pale. "Noel—fuck, Noel, your face—just go, okay? Both of you!”

“Fugo, we can't lea—” she began, but Fugo cut her off with a head shake.

“Get real, Noel, you can't do shit right now! Oscar's on his way, get Jillian and get out—ah, fuck, now she's up again!”

Noel looked over to see a very angry Spica marching towards them, the prod again crackling with unnatural violet electricity. She held one hand to her forehead. It was bleeding profusely. “Fuck Becker, fuck Burrows, I'm killing you all right the fuck now—ow, what the fuck is it this time—?”

Something had hit Spica in the head, right where she was bleeding from—it seemed to be a mobile phone. “Get away from them now, you stupid... shitty roommate!”

“Jillian—” Noel's eye widened. She'd never heard Jillian swear before, but it was certainly a valid situation.

"Hey, great shot, Littner! Oh--Ribellio, for fucks' sakes--chill, okay?"

“Seriously? Now this bitch shows up?” Spica pointed at Noel. “You're late, Littner! Look at your girlfriend's face, Jilly, I mutilated her and you were too late to stop it! Gonna cry? Gonna panic?”

Jillian's hands were clenched into fists as she yelled back, running towards Noel and Caron. “I... won't! I won't let you hurt her again!”

“Oh, you will, you—ow, fucking hell—you set my damn hair on fire, you little bastard!” She turned to Fugo, pointing her prod at him as she batted at the flames with her other hand. “I was growing it out, you fuck!”

“Fire's a great look for you!” Fugo seemed entirely lost in the spirit of combat now, hurling fire at both her and Ribellio--fire that was coming far too close to the rest of them. His entire body seemed to be lit up. “Let me light up the rest of you, too! You're gonna burn beautifully!”

Jillian finally reached Noel. She grabbed for Noel's arm to lift over her shoulder, startled when Noel let out an unintentional scream at the touch. “Ah, I'm so sorry—“

“That one's broken,” Caron wheezed. “Here—“ He slid Noel's unbroken arm over Jillian's shoulders, grabbing her by the waist to support her instead. “Let's go—“

Noel screamed as Ribellio bounded in front of them. He looked completely feral now as well as slightly singed. “Ribellio—please don't, you need to wake—“

There was a loud clunk, and the man unexpectedly fell over, revealing Oscar behind him, holding up a sword hilt. “Sorry to interrupt, but I think it's probably better if he doesn't wake up for a bit.”

“Oscar!” Jillian cried out in relief. “Fugo is—“

“I know. I can handle him.” Oscar brandished his sword. “First, we need to get rid of her. You three get out of here.”

“Where can we go? They'll definitely look for us at your place or ours and I don't have my cel phone anymore and um, I just broke Fugo's—“ Jillian was beginning to stumble over words. Noel hoped she wasn't panicking, although she didn't seem to be hyperventilating yet.

Oscar thought for a minute. “The hotel. It's off-season, so it should be mostly open rooms without much staff. Break into a room on the top floor and I'll find you. Go. Take the security cart. Careful with the weather, wind's died down but it's intermittently hailing now.”

“Thank you,” Noel managed to gasp out, feeling Caron nod, and they began to stumble away.

Behind her, she could hear a shhng as Oscar unsheathed his second sword. "Spica, I'll only say this once. Get away from my brother, and surrender, and we'll take it easy on you."

"Get fucked, pig!"

There was another explosive crackle as they made it through the side door, and Noel prayed the brothers were strong enough to handle it.

#fanfic

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jetsonisvarygay · 24 days

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TW⚠️ negative paranoid thoughts and stuff-

I'm looking for a place to share more of my complex thoughts, I like the format of Tumblr so I'm thinking about doing it here. My problem is that people might think I'm negative and avoid me- or think I'm annoying but I have no control over that. I just think it'd be fun- I've been writing a lot about how I feel lately too, but I can't share any of it- cus it's too personal.

A thought I had yesterday that I don't fully remember was "building a relationship on the guides of being helpful to someone [don't remember what] what happens once you're not helpful anymore? They'll just throw you away" as in- I'd feel they don't need me anymore if I can't be helpful- or funny- or interesting, or this or that.

A thought I had today was that I might have Avoidant personality disorder, but that was just a thought because for the past few days I've been trying to figure out what's going on in my head- i told a buddy of mine that I might have BPD, OCD, Autism, ADHD, PPD, dyslexia- but- I have no way to know.

I've also been thinking a lot about plutonic relationships with other people, not like- getting into one- just how to deal with one and parts of one- I'm not a very social person- I just got surprised when I called myself a person- but I am one. Anyway, I tend to warm up to people I'm close with but I get intimidated easily- a lot of people are like "why would people think I'm intimidating, lol?" But I just get anxious with new people- or people I don't know much about...

Wow this is a lot- let's move on to something else-

So- I er uh- actually

Another thought

I had

Was that people would think I'm a Parasocial

But based on the Definition- I'm not- but what if they all think I am? I mean I might be- I don't know. My brain worries a lot about how I come off to other people- that's not special or anything- everyone does that- it's embarrassment, it's shame, it's Anxiety.

I have some type of paranoia thing- I keep getting scared of things that aren't real- like- I'm good at visualizing things in detail- I'm not flexing I'm being serious- and my brain can see me- doing what I'm doing right now- and then it adds a horrible twist- and then I get scared.

I'm making brownies today- with chocolate and stuff in them- idk why I'm telling you any of this but

I don't now.

I'm gonna post this- hope people I like see it- get scared later and then delete it.

Oh wait-

Not paranoia

I forgot the word

#my thoughts

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bullshit-bulltrue · 9 months

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so science lab was fucking insane today bc we had a substitute .

i had to be mean to someone, almost got hit with a chancla, found out a guy i liked in elementary has a crush on me, and i ended up falling asleep in the midst of it all

and bc i wanna type the rest in a weird format, here u go:

me: *leaves at the end of class* *goes to locker bc holy shit i just found out a guy likes me* *gets pissed bc shit don't be adding up* *contemplates why he would like me* lowkey gets mad 💀* *screeches + punches my locker and leaves a small dent* (...oopsie) *closes my locker and takes a deep breath*

ben: *pops up outta nowhere* (awoop jumpscare) (but in a good way) hey! *does a lil wave*

me: hi!

ben: yo your class was REALLY loud. we could hear you guys all the way from our room.

me: yeah it was ten times louder inside.

ben: damn

*pauses for a minute bc we kept bumping into each other since everyone else is fucking bumping into us*

me: hey did Mr e. play the gummy bear song for you guys and make you all dance?

ben: yeah *kinda embarrassed*

me: i figured, i heard it playing from the hallways lol

ben: well you guys were way louder lol

me: yeah its bc we had a sub

ben: ohhh that makes sense

me: everyone went crazy i swear. people running everywhere, almost got hit with a chancla

ben: wait what?!

me: yeah someone took aaron's slipper and threw it over my head. that was fun.

ben: oh wow

me: surprised i got out of class in time

ben: why's that?

me: oh i fell asleep and barely woke up before the bell

ben: you can fall asleep in there??? it was fucking loud

me: yeah, i can fall asleep if im tired enough

ben: wow

*we walk out the building doors and head toward the front of the school*

ben: hey did you finish the english essay?

me: i haven't even started it

ben: oh i finished it already

ben: ah..

me: yeah its due tonight so i'm just gonna scrape smth together

me: that was a joke. um, a bad one. it's not that hard, so i'll finish it up in no time. besides, we only have to write like 2 paragraphs minimum

ben: uhh yeah i *might* have written a more than two paragraphs..

me: what, like four?

ben: um.. more

me: seven? six?

ben: one less

me: five? omg, good job

ben: and i'm thinking of coloring in the drawing too. aiming for that extra credit 😎 but idk yet (he was joking. our school doesn't allow extra credit)

me: thats good! and hey as long as you have some pretty solid writing, i wouldn't worry too much about the drawing.

ben: yeah. oh and uhm i'll show you my writing tomorrow (we have english Okay!

me: okay! *about to leave*

ben: wait a minute! i actually have a picture of it saved, because i sent it to [insert persons name i dont remember]. *shows me the picture of the writing and drawing* me: wow, that's really good!

ben: yeah i actually don't know how many paragraphs that is lol (he didn't use indentations) and i still don't know about coloring it in

me: i'd say that's about 4-5. and, as i said, don't worry too much about coloring it in. you have a good amount written, so you should get a solid grade on that. and the diagram for your drawing looks good. if anything, maybe highlight the main parts. so it's bold you know?

ben: okay, thanks!

me: yeah, anytime! ever need help, just ask.

ben: okay!

me: see ya later!

ben: yeah, bye!

so yeah <3

also i figured out what was different abt him

so yk that part where ur hairline ends? yeah he got it. it was bugging me all day bc I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was different lol

#☆ hawk talk #☆ ben

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strangebiology · 2 years

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Why I don't Worry about Being a Gross Vulture Person

One of the agents I was talking to about my book proposal for "Carcass: On the Afterlives of Animal Bodies" was asking me if I had a more personal take, rather than "here's what happens to dead animals."

How does my personal journey work into it? It's a science book... I really couldn't think of anything, until later when I'm a bit boozed up and going on about my Tragic Backstory (ok it's not that serious, let's call it...Things That Informed my Behavior and Personality.)

When I was younger I believed in sort of a narrow definition of success, as was generally defined by my family and school: get good grades, go to good college, get good job. There's sort of a uniform, linear path that we all follow and some get higher on the ladder than others. If I do well at these pre-specified things, I'll get accolades and attention and happiness. Beyond that, only very lucky people can have very good lives, and I'm not lucky.

This turned out to be pretty wrong.

I joined track and field and I LOVED it. And I was very good at it. I set the all-time school record for the 100M hurdles. Track was very important to the formation of my beliefs and values, which is weird because it's just running in circles.

Here's where it went wrong (or...right?): my parents absolutely hated track. I started coming home with a medal or four every weekend or so, and they wanted me to quit. They successfully sabotaged two invitationals and called the school to make them pull me out (now they say they were just faking the phone call, and they didn't pull out their star hurdler/jumper, so IDK.)

I thought "How come I'm not getting appreciated for doing something objectively well?"

Years later, I was running at one of the beautiful spots the track team had shown me. I went into a ravine. I found cow bones.

I started finding more bones of other animals. Sometimes a little fleshy. I learned more online about cleaning. Posted about them here. I processed a few fresh carcasses.

Of course my parents thought it was gross and weird and wanted me to stop. I can't blame them, being disturbed by dead animals is a very culturally normal opinion. And you know, if I had been in a different timeline, I might have said "you're right, this is objectively gross and weird, and because I respect your opinion, I will stop."

But that's not how it went. I just said "Oh, please, you hate everything I do. Regardless of how normal it is."

They could have stopped me, but they wasted their judgement on something completely innocuous, and it's worthless now. I only got more invested in dead animals as the years passed.

The lovely thing is, and I can't speak for anyone else, but I really don't have social trouble because of my interest in dead animals. It's only been good for my career, it brought me this blog, it got me 171,000 followers on TikTok, I write about bones professionally a lot, and I'll probably write a book about it soon. People I meet are generally either fascinated or they just go "oh that's not for me." I've been told one(1) time "oh this will eliminate you from large portions of the dating pool" but I literally have no interest in dating someone who is gonna be that put off by a weirdo. I'm a weirdo at heart even without the bones. I'm so happy that I don't have to fake normalness, and everyone I care about, and most of the people who follow me online, are either neutral or they love it.

I do want to express my gratitude to everyone who has either supported me, said anything nice, bought bone merch, or followed. And I also want to thank the people who do hate dead animals, understand that their personal ick factors don't dictate morality, and proceed block or scroll on by.

#dead animals #personal #vulture culture

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os-hyoideum · 3 years

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the wh*res are fighting 19 (one-shot)

Part 19: THE DATE

Previous - here - Next

masterlist

(this, perhaps, can be read seperately, so if you you wanna check it out, but nit the SMAU, then go on 😉)

a/n: Ok, it took me a long time, but I had a lot of uni work and it's also almost 5k words 🙃 Like, I can pull the standard SMAU texts out of my ass in an hour sometimes, but this? Nah-ah, I like writing, but I'm mostly slow. (but I will write out the ending too) Since the format is different, I'm putting content warnings on this (outside of the ones on the matserlist). Again, it's an AU so I will write Touya as bitchy or soft as I please, and I take no criticism for it 💅 (now watch me destroy them after some nice time - if you see this no you don't)

THE SHOT IS UNDER THE CAT

WORDCOUNT: 4878

CONTENT: hero!AU (Dabi/Touya is a hero), OOC, Y/N is awkward at feelings (cringe), lack of safety equipment (sledgehammers), romantic arson (just a bit), cursing, tatted up/pierced Touya, Touya rides motorcycle

I really hope you gonna enjoy it, cause I enjoyed writing it and I think it's alright!

You looked up from your phone to see the place where you were to meet Touya. As a first part of his date plan, he invited you to a small café that looked almost like a bookshop from outside. On the windows hung colorful fairy lights (although turned off, due to it being bright outside) and some handmade paper decorations. It truly was a nice place, but quite an unusual choice, considering it was Touya who chose it; a bit too wholesome perhaps, but who were you to judge.

After making sure that the address you arrived at was the correct one, you stopped under a tree to get some shade from the warm sun rays. You started to look around, seeing people, some of them in a rush, some enjoying the nice weather, while leisurely walking to their mysterious destinations. Unfortunately, one face was oddly familiar. Standing on the opposite side of the road was an ordinary looking man in dark clothing. Looking straight into your eyes, he moved towards the crosswalk and, in a very relaxed manner, directed his steps towards you.

You tensed up, ready for anything. It wasn't a good omen to see him right there, right now. He was sent there as a warning and it was apparent in his intense gaze and every little calculated move. Also, because you knew how the gods' machine works.

After barely a few seconds, the unnamed man stopped right in front of you, leaving precisely one and a half meter of space between your bodies. Perfectly straight back, relaxed face features, hands in sight. It didn't seem as though he was there to attack or cause trouble (any bigger than his presence alone already was), but you knew better than to let your guard down. Staring him down, you waited patiently for his words.

“Hello, number Four,” he said with a slight underline of contempt in his voice.

“What do you want?” You looked around to check if any unwanted attention was on you two. It wasn’t really necessary considering both of you looked like ordinary civilians, but, at the end of the day, it’s better to be aware of one’s surroundings.

The man shifted his weight slightly, taking half a step closer.

“You know your little paradise won’t last long.” He exclaimed and smiled cynically. “Or have you, perhaps, forgotten?”

“Fuck off.” With a cold voice and a cold gaze, you ended the short exchange. The man did not move, however. He stood, still with an annoyingly straight back, in front of you and looked both harmless and ready to leap at you, had he deemed it necessary.

The stare off was short lived. A few seconds later you felt a presence coming from behind you and the man was pushed away by Touya, who came just in time to hear the end of your conversation. He looked a bit concerned, but stared at the mysterious person with a hard gaze and little bit of blue flame coming from the corners of his mouth.

“She told you to fuck off, so go and scurry away.”

Unbothered, the man didn’t pay any attention to this sudden event. He seemed even amused by it to some extent.

“I see you got yourself-” he glanced quickly towards Touya, who stood right next to you “a dog.”

Already annoyed before by the sheer presence of this man, now you felt your blood boil. WIthout thinking much, you leapt towards him and harshly grabbed the collar of his shirt. You heard someone close-by whisper with a scared voice, but you paid no mind to it.

“Fuck. Off.” You started, accentuating the words and putting as much venom into them, as you could muster. “Go and crawl at their feet like the pathetic nobody that you are.”

You saw a change in his eyes. No longer emotionless, he seemed irritated, which filled you with a bit of sadistic pride. He forcefully pulled your hands away and shoved you back. Then brushed his shirt like nothing happened and, just before turning around and going away said:

“You are the same. Everyone who touches the Olymp is.”

Finally alone with your still-just-a-friend, you turned around to face him. Having brushed off the encounter, you smiled at Touya, first a little fake, but seeing him made you happy enough to be genuine after just barely a second. On the other hand though, he still seemed rather concerned with the strange turn of events.

“Who was that?”

“He’s a colleague... from work.” Your answer didn’t lessen Touya’s worry. His brows furrowed, while he decided to press a bit more.

“From work? He’s… a hero?”

You stood right in front of him and lifted your arm, putting the thumb between his brows, watching him relax slightly, as you caressed the crease in his skin.

“From before.” It was a diplomatic answer, both a lie and a truth. You knew Touya wasn’t stupid and would get to the truth sooner or later, but for now he seemed to let it go, so you changed the topic. “So, I must ask. Why… a cafe? I would be more inclined to think you’d take me to a boxing ring or something.”

Touya smiled at your teasing tone, but did not answer. He just turned around and started walking towards the entrance of the place. He stopped and held the door for you, still standing next to the tree, a few meters away.

“You coming?”

You looked at him unamused by his lack of answer, but went inside. It was pretty and cozy, which didn’t match with his more edgy vibe, but you just brushed it off and sat down on a plush armchair in the corner. You put your elbows on the table and propped your head on your palms, looking as Touya took his jacket off and threw it on the back of his chair. You started to closely admire the tattoos adorning both of his arms, from the hands to his shoulders (and even further, as you already knew).

“Both your tattoo and hand kink are showing, baby.”

He sat down and looked at you with a teasing glint in his beautiful eyes. You leaned back, crossed one of your legs over the other and put your arms up, in a gesture of surrender, but then looked at him accusingly.

“That’s not my fault that you’re a harlot. You’re basically putting yourself on display for me, so really, it’s on you. You whore.”

“You got me, but it’s only for you.”

Touya laughed then and stood up to buy you both a coffee. You sat still, waiting and looking around. When your eyes landed on the discarded jacked, you stood up to take it. A simple black jean jacket, quite thin to be suitable for the warm weather. Holding it by the collar, you brought it closer to your face and inhaled the smell of the perfume lingering on the fabric. You couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it wasn’t too strong and you had to admit it was one of the best smells you knew, especially with the mix of natural scent of Touya’s body.

The owner of the jacket came back with the drinks a few minutes later and saw you with the piece of clothing.

“A little thief today, are we?”

You took one last whiff of the jacket and put it down.

“It smells nice. Maybe I should buy this perfume for myself.”

Touya looked up from his coffee.

“You want my perfume?”

“As I said - it’s nice.” You shrugged and saw him smirk.

“I can give you mine if you want to smell like me so badly.”

“Hmm…” You hummed and leaned forward a bit, “Well, I wouldn’t mind smelling like you.”

You took your cup and started to slowly drink, while looking into Touya’s eyes. Something in them made you feel strange, perhaps it was the softness with which he took you in.

When sunshine fell on him from between the window decorations, he reminded you of some kind of angel, eyes almost glowing, silver piercings glistening; the sun accentuated every little shadow on his face, but, at the same time, made him look really delicate.

Touya’s gaze went down and your thought moved to the back of your mind. He adjusted his position on the chair before speaking.

“I guess I can tell you why the cafe, which you found, oh so surprising, I don’t know why.” He paused for a second to narrow his eyes at you. “I’ve heard you wanted a “normal” date, whatever the hell that means.”

“Wha-,” your eyes widened with mock surprise, “Did Shiggy snitch on me?”

“Please, he didn’t have to. It’s not like you asked all your friends for advice. So I decided to take you somewhere… classic, if you will.”

You crossed your arms on your chest and rolled your arms, then pointed an accusatory finger at your companion.

“Now you’re just mocking me.”

“Me? Never.” Obvious sarcasm on his part. “But I have one more place that I want to take you later. Perhaps more to your standards.”

Now you felt a bit guilty that he might have thought you didn’t like it. He didn’t seem so, but you preferred to explain either way.

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate it… it’s just…” You shrugged. “I didn’t expect something so… usual? Common? Normal, heh.”

“I know you’re just awkward, but let’s relax and enjoy ourselves.”

And so you did, talking about many different things for a few hours.

***

You put your index finger on your lips, pondering on something for a moment.

“Isn’t it going to be, you know… the anniversary soon? Of your mom’s divorce, I mean.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Touya nodded.

“Damn, happy birthday then.” You brought your cup to your lips like you didn’t just say… that. But Touya lifted his eyebrows and stared at you unsure.

“What?” You just shrugged and he sighed, “Nevermind then. Happy birthday to mom.”

A few seconds of a comfortable silence fell over the two of you. The hushed voices of the people around filled your ears; they mixed together, providing a nice background noise.

“So… how’s you dad?” You quirked an eyebrow at Touya’s surprised expression.

“You want to talk about my… dad? Of all things?”

“Well… I’m just asking! And you know… since he “sucks ass” does he also eat it?” You smiled stupidly, but he just stared with a deadpan. “Okay, stupid, I admit.”

“We have family therapy, so it’s not that bad. Though, the old mad does deserve the bullying.”

You agreed and made a toast with your drink to Touya’s words.

***

“Excuse me!?” Touya exclaimed loudly, “You did what!?”

You put an index finger to your lips trying to shush him, while a few other people looked in your direction, some with curiosity, others with disapproval.

“It wasn’t that bad…” You looked apologetically at some of the patrons. “It’s not like I died.”

Touya stared at you in shock for a good few seconds, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He was almost at a loss of words.

“What- not like she died! Fuckin-” He groaned and dramatically clutched his shirt on his chest. “You’re killing me! You’re killing your father!”

You snorted at his statement. Well, a flair for the dramatics was in his repertoire, after all.

“Don’t you mean ‘Daddy’?” You said with an amused smile and added with a tinge of irony: “Or do you prefer ‘father’ now?”

Touya did not find it funny (or at least, he didn’t let it show on the outside, if he did). He cupped his mouth with one hand, looking to the side, as to ponder on something.

“You know what?” He directed his gaze at you. “I might have to rethink the idea that dating you would be so nice. Like, you… fucking dumbass.”

Ah, concerned Touya, pretty sweet, you had to admit, but there really wasn’t a reason for him to worry.

“Keigo was with me then.” You stated matter of factly.

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded, “I am going to talk with that bastard too… no heroing with Keigo for you!”

You seriously didn’t think that he would be so concerned about the whole ordeal. After all, it was in the past, nothing really happened and if it would have happened, then well… you wouldn’t be here to discuss it.

You smiled softly.

“I don’t think you have any say in this.”

You chuckled, when Touya very aggressively took a sip.

“Jumping off the building… Who fucking does that!?” Oh no, the stare of disapproval.

“Keigo.”

“Because he has WINGS!”

“Yeah, and he caught me because of them!” You paused for a moment and thought for a moment about it. “Though I actually wasn’t sure he would, I mean… you know. He IS quite strong though.”

Touya actually looked like he was ready to end it all right then and there.

“You… didn’t know if he would catch you?” He articulated very slowly, slightly squinting his eyes at you. “And you still jumped?”

“Yup! You know, the adrenaline, fight or flight… I chose flight obviously.” You immediately saw that your cheerful carelessness and (an amazing) joke were nor appreciated, as he looked at you with a blank face, complete deadpan.

“I think, sooner or later, I’m gonna have a heart attack because of you.”

To that, you just cackled and reassured him that you would try not to die in a near future.

***

“Sooo… My sweet Touya, my favorite Todoroki.” He braced himself for whatever you wanted to throw at him, while you shot him a suggestive look. “When are you going to do a new tattoo?”

Oh, he already knew where this was going.

“I don’t know. Why are you asking?”

“You know…” You acted as if mulling on your idea and tilted your head to the side. “If you need some company…”

Touya sighed and just decided to get to the point.

“Do you wanna go with me?”

“Oh my god, can I?” You grinned and flicked your wrist. “You don’t have to!”

“Ok, then I’ll go alone.” He checked his phone, feigning disinterest, and took a quick look at you to see the hand still in the air and a very surprised expression on your face, that turned almost offended a second later.

“You can’t take it away from me! I’ll have you know, I have my rights.”

“I’m not taking anything away, since I never before said that you could go with me. You just always do.”

“Oh.” You looked down at your knees and did a fake sniff, knowing fully well he didn’t mind your presence… anywhere, really. “You don’t want me there?”

“Well, that-” he smirked slightly, “I never said.”

“So you’re just making a fool out of me then, I see how it is.” You crossed your arms over your chest and glared at him. He just laughed

“You already do it yourself pretty well.”

You gasped loudly with a hand on your chest.

“The audacity! You… how dare you! If you’re gonna be bitchy, I’ll fuck your sister, I will. Don’t try me.”

Touya rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Will you though?” He seemed unconvinced, you wondered why. “Honestly, I thought you did it already. You were going out with her for what? Two months? That’s long… for your standard.”

“Nooo, I didn’t… really, I did not.” Then a different thought popped up in your head. “Won’t it be weird that IF we… become a couple, potentially, and I would, hypothetically, meet your family somewhere, you know, by chance and all. That I am Fuyumi’s ex, I mean.”

He furrowed his brows to digest your question.

“You think about that?” He smiled, seeing your awkward expression. “That’s cute of you.”

“BABY STEPS, PLEASE.” You loudly exclaimed, avoiding Touya’s eyes, to which he chuckled.

“Okay, just teasing you, baby.” His gaze softened. “But do you really care about that? What others think?”

“Uh…” you sighed, “I don’t know. Not really? But kind of.”

“It’s okay, baby steps, like you said.”

He leaned forward over the table, took your hand into his and soothingly caressed it with his thumb. Your heartbeat quickened a bit and, surprised at that, you just stared at Touya’s slowly moving finger. Feeling were never easy nor were they particularly good, but it felt so nice.

***

Suddenly you saw a flicker of colorful lights next to you, seeing that the decorations on the window were turned on. Looking out the window, you noticed how dark it became. The street neon lights were illuminated everywhere, people moving in all directions to unwind after hard days of work during the week. You were almost shocked at how fast the time went by.

“It’s pretty late, isn’t it?”

Touya hummed in agreement and, without saying anything, stood up to pay the bill. Earlier, you almost fought him to split it, but you came to an agreement that another time (“Oh, you already want to go out with me again?”, he teased) you would be the one paying. A moment later he came back, put his jacket on and you both exited the lovely cafe.

“So… where are we going?” You asked after following him in a completely opposite direction, to which you came from earlier that day.

“You’ll see.”

Ah, so much for getting information out of Mr Todoroki.

With a sigh, you just decided to follow him in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, like it usually tends to be, for which you were grateful. He wasn’t pushy, let you do things at your own pace, so you felt… comfortable.

A moment later you felt him grab your hand and let him intertwine your fingers together. Again, the annoying feeling in your chest reappeared. You would need to get a grip on yourself, if this was to continue. The evening was getting quite chilly so Touya used his quirk to make his palm warmer, but you almost took your hand away. You knew that it was bad for him, especially without his support items, even though he was able to control it, almost to perfection. Before you were able to get away, his skin quickly went back to its natural cooler state with a light squeeze to your hand.

Going through the busy street, you were able to observe people differently than usual. On patrols, you were mostly checking out dark alleyways, some abandoned or suspicious buildings, sometimes sites on the outskirts of the city; being able to, sometimes, take in the lively energy of the crowd was enjoyable.

Touya stopped after turning into some calmer sideroad. He took his hand from yours to grab a helmet and then helped you put it on.

“We taking your baby for a spin?”

“Of course.”

“Hmm, nice.”

After putting on his own helmet he sat down on the motorcycle, waiting for you to do the same. You noticed a new paint job on the matte black surface of the machine. On the sides were done shining blue flames, very on brand for him. You liked it.

You sat down behind Touya taking a hold of his waist, when he revved the engine and slowly drove away from the busy part of the city. Expertly maneuvering the streets, soon enough you were driving on the outskirts, where barely anyone was out. You looked at the changing scenery over his shoulder, noting the road you were taking seemed familiar. The trees surrounding you from both sides made the night look a bit unnerving, but it wasn’t anything you weren’t used to. The city was far behind already.

You squeezed him just a tiny bit stronger and put your head on his shoulder, careful not to knock the helmets on each other. Loud howling of the wind and the noise of the engine were a surprisingly calming combination, which you have discovered long ago, the first time Touya took you for a drive.

Finally, the motorcycle slowed down. You passed the old busted metal gate and entered a site surrounded by a tall chain link fence, made from wire much thicker than usual to make it more sturdy. The place was situated on a flat field, a bit away from the trees. You could barely see the outline of the big city from where you were.

The space where he parked was relatively empty, save for an occasional piece of metal or glass laying here and there. The only building was a huge square block, bare walls outside “decorated” only by identical windows with perfectly measured spaces in between them. The inside should be relatively empty. What ought to be there are only some vacated rooms and stairs leading from the ground, through three stories, to the roof.

You got off the motorcycle and took the helmet off, hanging it on the handlebar. Taking a closer look around, you notice a pair of sledgehammers and a can of gasoline next to the gate of the building.

“An abandoned Commission site, huh?” You asked rhetorically, but Touya looked surprised at that.

“How do you know what this place is?”

You decided to ignore him and just pointed to the items you noticed.

“You planning to kill me here or something?” You said with a smile, looking at him. He quirked an eyebrow and moved to pick up the sledgehammers and offered you one.

“Birdbrain said we can trash this place.” You took the tool weighing it in your hand with ease.

“Of course he did.” You glanced at the gasoline. “Did he also say we can play with fire?”

Touya smirked, lifted his hand towards his face and lighted his pinky finger with blue fire. He then moved the hand more towards you, letting you blow it out.

“With me, it’s always playing with fire.”

“I knew you were an arsonist at heart, Touya.” You chuckled lightly, but your voice quickly died down when you looked at him.

He looked at you with an intensity that instantly hypnotized you to focus only on his eyes, which seemed to glow slightly. The only source of light was the moon and the stars in the sky so you were surrounded by harsh shadows and an occasional speck of moonlight.

The gaze with which he stared at you almost made you uncomfortable, because it seemed like he was able to read every little dirty secret you held deep within. A quick thought, that maybe he actually could read you like that, crossed your mind.

He moved a step towards you and brought his hand to grip your chin. Not hard enough to hurt you, but enough to feel that he could, if he wanted to. Exciting.

He pulled your face a little, so that his lips were right next to your ear. You felt his hot breath on your skin, when he asked:

“Aren’t you?”

You felt him move his mouth across your skin, from your ear right to your lips. The grip on your chin lessened as he moved his hand to hold the back of your neck instead. It wasn’t anything new to kiss him, but it felt a lot more intimate this time. No force behind it, no rush, nothing inherently sexual; just softness, an interesting contrast to his intense eyes and touches.

He moved away, just enough to speak up, your noses still touching.

“Come on.” He let go completely and moved to grab the gasoline, before entering the building.

You stood in place a moment longer, rendered speechless and motionless by the emotions you felt. The loud hammering in your chest was almost deafening. Not good, get a fucking grip. Without a word, you followed Touya inside.

After a few moments (when the blood pump finally decided to calm down), you glanced around. As you thought, a big empty space, at least on the ground floor. Since the electricity had been shut off a long time ago, the only light was coming from the moon and your phone flashlight. You went after him towards the stairs to the first floor, where a space was filled a little bit more by the rooms dividing the place.

Touya stopped next to a wall to one of the former offices and put his things down, before taking your phone to light your blank canvas, ready for destruction.

“Swing.” And so you did.

You braced yourself against the floor for stabilization and took a wide swing, from behind your back. The hammer made an impact with the wall and with ease penetrated it to the other side. Forcefully, you teared it out, making the hole two times wider.

Oh, it was so liberating. The destruction and chaos of this place would bring you much pleasure.

With a laugh, you took a next swing, and then another, and another. Both of you went on a rampage, destroying what you could in this deserted place. All of the windows broken (some of them with your fist covered in a rug found somewhere on the ground), the inside walls full of holes, doors ripped out of its hinges. The place filled only with dust, debris, and the laughter and screams of both of you.

After you had enough, you ended up lying on the roof. Touya’s head right next to yours, although upside down, as he laid in the opposite direction.

You stared at the clear night sky, admiring millions of stars visible that night. It was always an otherworldly experience to be able to see them. It made everything seem so insignificant in the comparison to the vastness and beauty of space.

Touya, however, was not looking at the sky. His eyes were focused solely on you. He liked the peace and calm visible on your face. You felt his gaze on the side of your face and turned your head to the side, to also look at him.

You moved your hand to push his hair back. It was always really soft to the touch.

“Your roots are showing.” You said quietly, looking at the white part of his hair. He just hummed with eyes closed, marveling at the soft touch on his head.

Before he could fall asleep here, you took your hand and sat up cross-legged. You turned around to look at him, still lying down and still looking at you.

“Didn’t you want to commit arson?”

He perked up at that and got up, but stopped you, when you moved to do the same.

“Wait a second and don’t move.”

You stayed seated and just observed as Touya took the can and started to pour the gasoline on the roof, away from the stairs, in some kind of pattern. When he finished, he motioned you with his hand to come to him.

Ah, so the gasoline heart then. You weren’t really surprised by it, but still laughed, although more at the weirdly proud expression Touya had on his face.

“It’s really cheesy,” you paused for dramatic effect, “I love it.”

You kissed him lightly on the cheek, to which he froze for a second. Oh, could it be that this time you were the one to render him speechless? After the initial shock, he beamed at you with his stupidly wide grin that sometimes appeared on his face. Though, after a moment it faltered and he grabbed your upper arm. You could pull away, if you wanted, but you just let him hold you.

“Who was that man today?” This again. He seemed worried, more than anything, which you didn’t like that much, cause he could drill it out of you, if he truly wanted. So you decided to avoid his eye, looking in the other direction.

“I told you already… it’s a colleague from work.”

“You know I don’t buy it.”

“I know, but… it’s the truth.” You looked him straight in the eyes, so he would know that it was not a lie.

“I hope you know you can tell me anything.” You wished you could.

“Give me the matches.” He knew that for that moment that would be it, so he let go of your arm with a sigh and took out a small box out of his pocket.

You took it and moved to the other side of the gasoline heart.

You wiped your teeth with your hand, to which Touya raised his eyebrows, but when you took one match out of the box and lit it directly on your teeth, he did look impressed by your trick.

Touya lit his blue flame and both of you set ablaze the gasoline. The fire traveled from both sides, to meet in the middle and create more green-like color. From behind the flames, you were able to see just his silhouette. A beautiful, although terrifying (to some) imagery.

When the fire started spreading, you quickly moved to leave this place behind.

Again on the motorcycle, tightly embracing Touya’s torso, you looked back to stare at the rising flames. Colors mixed with each other, creating a picture any painter would be proud of.

Playing with fire was always thrilling, you just hoped none of you would get burned.

TAGLIST

@the-fandoms-georgie, @fanworrior, @gingerunicorn13, @theunicornnamedearl, @dabi-sunflower, @anniebromberg, @bakugouswh0r3, @ddsweetie

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mageofseven · 4 years

Text

Thank you both for requesting! I was originally gonna split this up into two posts, one for a good ending and one for a bad ending, but I think I found a way to keep both within this post with how I decided to format it. However, while I was writing Satan's section, I hit the word limit for a post. I didn't even realize that was a thing 😳

Basically, that's why this ask is still gonna be separated into multiple parts, likely 3 but we'll see. I honestly didn't think I'd write this much, but this ask got me so inspired, it's crazy.

So everyone! This is gonna continue off from the pregnancy discovered in this post. If you haven't seen it yet, it's worth a read.

Below is Lucifer, Mammon, and Levi's sections.

Part 2 | Part 3

Lucifer:

The man thought he was prepared. He thought.

Lucifer expected all different kinds of physical ailments that he would have to help MC cope through; he didn't expect the ailments to be mental.

He noticed it start around her fourth month. Before that point, the demon was surprised at how calm things were. His Love went through the usual struggles of human pregnancy, like the morning sickness in the first trimester, but that was all. Nothing odd had happened and though he was grateful, Lucifer was also suspicious.

The start was subtle. His Love's spirits had been seeming down, despite keeping a cheerful outlook for all the weeks before this. She was happy for this child and it was infectious, easing the Avatar of Pride's worry about fatherhood and making him look forward to this child as well.

That was shattered when the low spirit had suddenly progressed into a heavy depression. MC couldn't even leave their bed most days and getting her to eat had become a challenge for the first brother.

He simply couldn't understand the sudden nose dive in mood and any questioning came up empty. MC didn't know why she felt what she felt and that scared her.

It was the end of that month when the fear really set in though.

Lucifer had a meeting with Diavolo at the castle. He had laid in bed and cuddled his girlfriend close beforehand, giving her a kiss and promising he'd be back in a couple hours.

He had only been gone for 10 minutes when he got a call from Mammon, who was freaking out. The older brother couldn't fully make out what the second brother was saying, but he heard his Love's name in jumble that was his brother's words so he hung up and rushed back home.

Discovered all six of his brothers in his room, trying to calm a panicked MC, who was screaming and crying on the floor.

The demon rushed to her side, trying to calm her down and figure out just what was happening. His Love clung to him and he could feel the her heart beating as if it meant to break free from her chest and the man felt powerless.

Luckily, it only took about a minute of being in his arms for the woman to stop screaming. She cried in his arms for a while and slowly, her heart beat settled.

Lucifer was so confused. What happened and why? The man shooed his brothers out of the room before carrying his Love back to the bed.

Discovers that after he left, an uneasiness set in that quickly turned into blind panic. The woman didn't even notice the brothers or hear any of their attempts to calm her.

To say that the demon was concerned would be an understatement. He had to convene with Diavolo at once for a new reason.

The man laid with his girlfriend till she fell asleep, exhausted from her previous panic.

Lucifer called his friend and apologized for his absence before explaining the situation. Lord Diavolo, now concerned as well, decided to come to House of Lamentation instead.

The two discussed the issue in his study. The lord listened to his friend's predicament before explaining that this was likely a side affect of MC's angel heritage.

Right now, their baby was trying to form its soul along with its body and the demon child needs dark energies to do so. The woman's body is trying to absorb this dark energy for the child, but her repressed angel spirit is trying to repel it all, causing her own body and soul to fight. Her brain is the battle ground.

The reason it triggered in his absence is likely a psychological thing. Lucifer himself, as all demons do, radiate the very dark spiritual energy his child needs so, despite her soul's rejection, her great trust in her boyfriend gives her feelings of safety and has her mind lend support to her body to absorb the energy the baby needs.

To sum it up, his presence is the only thing keeping his girlfriend and child alive right now.

At this news, the man changes up everything about his schedule to stay near MC. He does all his paperwork at the desk in his room instead of in his study, he stops attending RAD the few days a week he still was at that time, made his meetings with Diavolo limited to only the most important work issues and always take place within his study at House of Lamentation. Sometimes he did have to leave her side, like for said meeting or simply because he had to grab food or use the restroom.

During those times, he'd call one of his brothers in to watch her. The demon had discovered that though her trust in them was not as great as it was in him, that trust still provided somewhat of a psychological cushion for her.

However, though their presence prevented full blown panic, it wasn't enough stop her from crying incessantly.

Most of his brothers could not handle her tears so it was usually Beel or Satan that accompanied her during these times.

It was hard for all of the men to watch, Lucifer included. He couldn't help blaming himself, knowing his carelessness had gotten her into this situation. Still, he had to keep it together for her sake.

The months went by and her belly grew. Lucifer missed that excitement he felt in the beginning of all of it when MC glowed with positivity. Now, unlike the times he was smiling and rubbing her belly as the two cuddled and discussed baby names, the emotionally exhausted demon saw it nothing more than a visual timer, reminding him that this will all be over soon.

Good Ending:

After a long nine months of his Love's mental and emotional suffering, the time finally came. It was late at night, around 3am when his Love awoke with labor pains. Lucifer was already awake and at his desk doing paperwork. He immediately called the doctor that Lord Diavolo had recommended for them before approaching his love and trying to calm her. This was it. It will all be over soon and his human will finally be happy once again.

Five and half hours later, the couple was greeted by a beautiful baby girl. The small baby had her mother's hair, her father's red eyes, and a bit surprisingly, her father's black wings. MC cried as she stared down at her daughter; her tears were accompanied by a smile though. A smile. That was enough for Lucifer, who started to tear up at the scene.

"You did so well, Love." He leaned down and kissed his girlfriend's head, staring down at the baby, now drinking from her mama's chest. "I'm so proud of you."

All the days before this were tortuous for the couple, as well as the rest of the House of Lamentation, but finally some happiness was lighting up the household.

The two end up naming their daughter Ksenia.

Bad End:

The demon sighed. He was at his desk, going through paperwork while his Love slept in bed behind him. It was 1am and though that never used to be such a late time for him, these last few months had him exhausted him. His worry and care for his girlfriend took up most of his energy these past few months. MC was already entering her eighth month of pregnancy. The two were just so close to putting this all behind them and being happy. So close.

Lucifer gave a huff and laid his pen down on the desk. His concentration was waning regardless of how much he fought it. He glanced over his shoulder at MC, watching her sleep peacefully. That's the only way she finds peace anymore, by shutting off her mind and losing consciousness. Every waking moment for her is a heavy one and moments she even perceives that she might be alone causes her heart to race in her chest... all she's knows anymore is that pain and sadness yet she pushes on for the sake of their child.

Lucifer stood up and approached the bed, staring down at his Love with a guilty heart. He leaned down and kissed her forehead as he laid his hand on her round belly. There were so many moments during all of this that... he cursed his child for doing this to her. Never aloud, just within the confines of his heart. It was always followed by a reminder that the fault is his own though, not his child's. Their child didn't make any decision nor was it actively trying to hurt their mother. No, this child exists because of him and MC, because of his choices and carelessness. None of the blame truly falls on his child; it falls on himself.

He gave her belly a gentle stroke, a silent apology to the child he felt that he had wronged. Already, he felt that he was making his previous words ring true; he's a terrible father to his child. The night that MC told him she was pregnant, he confessed this fear to her.

"I should have been better. Now what's stopping me from making the same mistakes with our child?"

"Me." She answered, without missing a beat. "Lucifer, you're not alone anymore. This... we can do this together."

He still remembers those words and they roll through his head every time the fear of fatherhood decides to rear its ugly head within his mind. No matter how scared he is on the inside, no matter what happens now, he cannot let himself be engulfed by it all. No. MC needs him now and he refuses to break for her sake.

The demon steps away from the bed and heads towards the door. He shouldn't leave her, he knew that, but sometimes he just had to. It was maddening, confining himself to his room for months on end. Occasionally, and only when his Love is asleep, he allows himself to step away from the room and head downstairs to his office.

Here he sat at his desk, pulling a bottle of demonus from his drawer. It would probably look bad to anyone finding him drinking alone in his office at a time like this, but the man was stressed and he only gave himself the luxury of doing so every two weeks or so.

The man lost track of time while he was down there and before he knew it, the sun was rising. Lucifer sighed before hiding the bottle back in his desk and went back upstairs to join his girlfriend in bed.

Instead, he found her lying on the wooden floor. He raced up, calling her name and pulling her into his arms to better check her.... she was cold. The demon's eyes widened as he checked for a pulse. None... no pulse, no breath...his Love was gone.

Later, he finds out what happened from Barbatos, who checked into the past for him. His Love awoke in a panic after a nightmare to find herself all alone. The usual panic from that compounded with the fear from the nightmare and it was too much for her heart, causing her to have a heart attack. No one heard her because her last moments were filled with her desperately trying to mute herself because she didn't want him or his brothers to hear and burden them with herself once more.

Lucifer was completely torn about this. In the space of a couple hours, he lost both his girlfriend and his daughter (Barbatos told him) because he left his room at the worst opportunity and because he didn't know she felt that way. The emotionally exhausted man never knew she saw herself as a burden. It never occurred to him that she could actually have believed such a ridiculous thing. But he should have. He should have spoke out more. As many times as he told he loved her, as many times as he told her everything would be okay, he never told her specifically that it was okay to lean on him because he didn't know that she needed to hear that.

And now they're gone. And now Lucifer has to live with feeling like he was both a bad father and a bad boyfriend.

Mammon:

It all started off pretty simple in theory: morning sickness

MC's morning sickness was strong and unfortunately, didn't just happen in the mornings.

The two had to skip a lot of school days at RAD. Lucifer allowed this, but had a hell of a time negotiating with their teachers, especially Mammon's, so they aren't penalized too much for this.

MC really couldn't eat breakfast. Or lunch for that matter. If she tried, she'd end up puking it up before even finishing the meal.

She could eat dinner, but it had to be something pretty light for her stomach.

It became so much more complicated as the pregnancy progressed.

Morning sickness usually ended during the first trimester, but it never actually stopped for MC. In fact, the farther she got into her pregnancy, the less her body could keep down.

This freaked Mammon out and he kept running to Lucifer, asking if there's something, anything he can do to help this.

For a while, all he could do was comfort his weakened human... but it was hard.

During her sixth month, it was hard to even look at MC some days because, despite being pregnant and her belly sticking out, the woman had actually lost weight since becoming pregnant; other than her growing belly, she was all skin and bones. Her legs, arms, even her face, all boney and sunken. She started to look as if the life was being sucked out her.

Somehow, the human stayed cheerful. Honestly, her boyfriend didn't understand it; their baby was practically starving her, but she still smiled.

The only time she showed any fear was when she'd tell Mammon how worried she was for their baby; she hadn't felt it kick yet and she was worried it was too weak to do it.

Everytime she spoke this worry, Mammon would hold her close and start rubbing her belly.

"Now, don't go talking like that." He leaned in and laid a kiss to her temple. "Baby is gonna fine."

"But they--"

"But nothin', babe. You know it's a bit on the early side for that anyhow."

"It's early for others to feel something, but I should have felt something before this, a flutter or something but they--"

Tears poured down her cheeks, breaking her man's heart. Mammon froze for a moment before leaning in with a kiss.

"A-Are you sure they'll be okay?" She sniffled, looking up into his eyes.

"Of course, you think I'd lie to you?" He asked before giving her belly a gentle rub. "Look how our kid has grown already! If something went wrong, they wouldn't still be growing, now would they?"

"I... I guess."

Despite everything he said, the Avatar of Greed was scared shitless. What if she was right and something already went wrong? What if he already failed her and his kid? Those thoughts were too much for him though so he did whatever he could to push them aside.

It was during her seventh month when Lucifer discovered a potion she could try, one that could help with the nausea and help her keep more food down.

Mammon had to give it to her every morning, but it helped her keep most of her meals down and regain her strength.

The first few days, they kept her on light meals just in case, but afterwards, she had free reign to eat whatever she craved.

This was when the late night food runs started happening. In all honesty, Mammon never thought he'd be so grateful to be woken up at 2am to get weird food combos like ice cream and beef jerky (MC seemed to have a thing for sweet 'n salty food combos).

Things were finally starting to seem okay; MC was eating, regaining her weight, and just seemed so happy. Not forced positivity, but some real happiness.

Then, around half way done with her 7th month, it happened. MC was sitting in the living room with Mammon and a couple of his brothers she suddenly gasped.

"M-Mammon!"

The man jumped up and rushed to her side. All of the brothers were now standing too, alarmed.

"Shit! What's wrong??"

She grabbed his hand his hand and laid it on her belly. He gave her a confused look for a moment till it happened. A kick! Their baby actually kicked!

MC cried, but also smiled as she saw his face light up.

"Holy-- see! I told you our kid was alright!" He grinned. "Just goes to show that you need to be trusting The Great Mammon more!"

The other brothers settled back down in their seats. Beel actually smiled at the happy couple, grateful that things seem to be turning around for them.

Good Ending:

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly, thanks to the potion. The couple's worries seemed to disappear for the most part. MC was eating again and healthier; their baby was kicking and seemed pretty lively. There were even nights where the kid kept their mother up (and in turn, their father) with all their kicks and movements, but they were glad to trade sleepless nights for the confirmation that their child was healthy too.

It was her 39 week, just barely missing the nine month mark, when MC went into labor. Mammon panicked in the beginning, causing MC to have to calm him down through her labor pains. The demon eventually got a grip on himself and started helping his girlfriend. After six hours of labor, the couple was greeted with a baby girl, who had her daddy's white hair, her mama's eyes, and surprisingly, two little nubs on her head, which will likely grow into horns just like her dad's. The couple cried along side their bundle of joy. Mammon leaned down and kissed his Human.

"You did so good, Babe. Just look at our girl there."

Most of the pregnancy... it definitely wasn't easy, but when the couple stared down at their little girl, they knew it was all worth it.

The couple ended up naming their daughter Cassia.

Bad End:

It was during the beginning of MC's eighth month when she went into labor. Mammon still remembers her panicked tears as she kept saying over and over that it was too soon. The second born had Lucifer call the doctor as he just held her close and tried to calm her. He gave his all to stay calm himself, but his Human's fear and pain really broke him down inside to the point where he'd have to quickly wipe a tear of his own away before she saw it.

In the end, MC's body was just too weak. Even though she recently had been able to regain some of her strength, it didn't erase the months before that of her body being near starved. The doctor was barely able to save his daughter. Mammon can still remember the look on his girlfriend's face when their girl entered the world, a weak smile of relief. She went to say something, but suddenly exhaled her last breath, leaving her body permanently stilled.

And just like that, he lost the only person who he felt gave a damn about him. He remembers collapsing in on himself while his brothers only saw him stare far away into space. He remembered when his younger brothers started throwing insults and blame his way, saying his stupidity killed her. And he remembered throwing himself against the brother closest to him, later noticing it to be Belphie, just punching him and crying. This shocked them to the point that no one, not even Beel stepped up to stop him for the longest moment. This wasn't Mammon. Mammon never laid a hand on his brothers.

Lucifer was the one who snapped out of it first and pulled the second born off of Belphie. The room was silent as he cried, practically in unison with his daughter in the other room. That was the moment where each of his brothers started to realize just how much Mammon loved MC. All of the brothers cared about her and were hurting from her death, but this was first moment where they really took the Avatar of Greed seriously with his own feelings.

The Brother's were a lot softer with Mammon from then on. No matter what he stole from them, no matter how much debt he racked up, they kept a certain tenderness in their heart for the brother who lost it all with MC's death.

As a dad... Mammon tried his best. No one doubted that, even when the other brothers had to jump in to feed the girl or quiet her cries while her father either cried in bed or searched for some sort of distraction to calm his mind. Looking at Cassia... it was hard for the dad. He'd look down into her eyes, the same eyes she got from her mother, and could only think about how MC should be there with him now... but how she's not.

As a baby and toddler, Cassia was mostly raised by Asmo and Beel. As a child, she had gotten closer with her Uncle Lucifer. Mammon was a loving, but distant dad who constantly tore himself down even when his brothers no longer did.

Leviathan:

Levi and MC got a good five months before facing any major difficulties.

Outside of the morning sickness in the beginning, everything was pretty calm with the pregnancy till then

And what happened at this point in time... honestly, no one could have predicted this.

The two were sitting in his room, each reading their own chosen manga.

When the woman had risen from his side, the otaku didn't really give it any thought, just assumed that she needed to go pee or grab another pillow.

It wasn't till heard a splash to his left that he looked up from his book and saw his pregnant girlfriend at the bottom of his giant fish tank.

Panicking, the demon dropped his book his and rushed up to the top of fish tank. He didn't even notice that he transformed into his demon form before jumping in and swimming down to the human

He quickly swam up with her and carried her back out and onto his floor.

"Shit shit!" The man stared down at the unconscious human, brain being uncooperative as he realised they were not breathing. Then it clicked and Levi put both hands on his Human's chest and repeatedly pressed down, starting CPR.

When his girlfriend eventually coughed up the water in her lungs and came to, he nearly fainted in relief.

He scooped her into his arms and started crying.

"W-What were you thinking???"

The demon didn't understand what just happened. His Henry almost drowned. And she was the one threw herself in! Was she trying to kill herself? Was the whole pregnancy and parenthood stuff getting too scary for her? Was he not taking care of her good enough? Oh devil... what if she thinks he's gonna be a bad dad and just wants to end it all now??

As the Avatar of Envy always did, he thought of the worse outcomes that he could blame himself for.

"I... Levi, what happened?"

??!!

"What do you mean, what happened? You tried to drown yourself!"

The woman's eyes went wide and she frantically shook her head.

"I... no! I would never do that to our baby!"

Even now, she wasn't even thinking of her own life. Just their child's. Levi was scared for their kid's life too, but got so panicked over her's that he didn't mention it before.

As he looked down into her horrified expression, the demon knew she was telling the truth. Or, at least she believed she was.

For a second, the man doubted what he just saw, just experienced. Her drenched hair and clothes were the only things that cemented him in the knowledge that he was right.

But then why did she sincerely believe differently?

Levi texted Lucifer that there was an emergency and needed him in his room now before he helped MC get changed out of her wet clothes.

By the time Lucifer came to the room, MC was in Levi's pj pants and one of his tshirts with a blanket wrapped around her to keep her warm.

Lucifer could sense something different with MC the moment he entered the room. As a demon skilled with magic and curses, he could sense the energy shift within her

And once his younger brother explained what had happened, it had all clicked into place for the first brother. Granted, it was just a theory at this stage, but all signs still pointed to it.

The situation seemed to be a side affect of her pregnancy and a magical one at that. Her baby needed something that they weren't getting so they took the reigns and made their mother give it to them.

That something? Water. The baby seems to have inherited they're father's affinity for water.

Levi was frozen where he and MC sat on the couch.

Basically what the third brother was hearing was that this was his fault, that he almost lost his girlfriend and baby because he has a connection to water.

The demon was ready with a slew insults to express his self blame, but was stopped by MC's quick kiss.

"Hey... none of that." She said softly. "It's okay, it's not your fault. Besides, you saved me."

She knew her boyfriend well enough to know when he was gonna tear himself down but this... she couldn't let him blame himself for something this big.

As per Lucifer's advice, MC started lounging in the bath a couple times a day to see if that would curb her baby's need to be surrounded by water. And surprisingly, it worked.

But as her pregnancy progressed and her belly grew, so did her need to be in water. She'd be fine for a few weeks then suddenly there would be another fish tank incident (though luckily, Levi would stop her before she would even get her feet wet) and her boyfriend would rush her to the bathtub. Each time this happened, the amount of sessions and length of said sessions in the bath increased.

In all honesty, it probably wasn't good for her skin to lay in water so much, but considering this was a life or death situation for her and the baby, it was worth dealing with pruney skin.

It got to the point where it felt like most of her day was spent in the tub and the woman hated it.

Actually ended up convincing Levi to join her for some sessions and loved snuggling up to her boyfriend in the tub.

Honestly, it was something the human wanted to continue between them even after her pregnancy.

Levi had to keep a close eye on her for the remaining months, which was stressful for the otaku, who couldn't really indulge in his usual hobbies, knowing he'd get too absorbed and possibly miss it the moment she needs him.

Still, the demon took care of his Henry well.

Good End:

The woman so ready to birth this baby. MC was so tired of spending her days in the bath tub and being sore and pruney so when the day came, she was nervous, but relieved. She was about a week overdue when her water broke and she went into labor. Levi was a nervous wreck for a most of it, but MC was very patient with him, despite her pain.

After six and half hours of labor, MC held their baby boy in her arms. Levi just stared in wonder at his son. His son. Who would of thought this would ever happen? If you would have told him before he met MC that he'd be a dad someday, he would of said something was wrong with you. If you would of said it after they started dating, he would of told you there was no way MC would wanna give him such a gift.

But there he was, staring down at the son that MC spent hours pushing out and even almost drowned once, just to bring him into this world. This... MC really was amazing.

"Do you wanna hold him?" She smiled at her boyfriend, breaking his thoughts.

The man tensed up, but gave a shy nod.

His girlfriend explained how to hold the baby before setting their son in his arms and telling him to make small adjustments. Levi stared down at his child, who had his hair and MC's eyes. Heck, the little boy even had a tail just like his. The man started tearing up and the human laughed.

"Don't... I'm not crying, I swear..."

After reviewing some of the baby names they talked about, the couple decided on the name Kai.

Bad End:

MC was halfway through her seventh month when it happened. They had recently had another incident of the woman finding her way to the fish tank and had to adjust her bathing schedule again. Bad news: MC had to spend another two hours in the tub each day. Good news? The woman should be incident-free for another couple weeks.

This was why Levi felt it was okay to leave the house, something he rarely felt like doing. He used to never mind spending most of his time in his room. Before this pregnancy, it was his safe haven, where he retreated into in order to avoid all of his troubles and the judgement that he felt he got from the world. Since MC has been pregnant though, that has been the room she spent all her time in, especially since things got... complicated.

His room was no longer a safe place; on the contrary, it was where all of his stress and fears lied. He still powered through it most days for MC's sake, but on transition days where the pattern showed her to be safe, he'd leave the house to go to the comic book store (which also sold manga). He made sure his brothers would keep checking up on her while he was gone.

But they didn't. For a variety of reasons, none of this brothers checked in on her until it was too late. Lucifer was busy working in his study. Mammon left for his modeling gig. Satan was out plotting things with Mephisto. Asmo was in his room, talking on the phone with someone while he did his nails. Beel was in the kitchen, trying to cook dinner and fighting the urge to just eat the ingredients. Belphie was asleep.

Eventually, Beel made his way to Levi's room to check on MC and found her floating face-down in the fish tank. Levi didn't come home until an hour after she was found. He started heading to his room when Lucifer stopped him and called him into the living room. His heart sank when he entered and saw all his brothers sitting around the room. Asmo was crying. Mammon was pretending not to be. The rest of his brothers simply look depressed.

Apparently, MC skipped a bath time while he was gone. She was just so on edge and didn't want to force herself into the water yet. The baby did though. And now they are both gone.

And just like that, the third brother was alone again. Levi locked himself in his room for months after her death, not leaving for school or to even eat. His brothers brought his meals to his room, but he often needed encouragement to eat. The man just wanted to cave into himself and hide away from it all, but the one place he could hide was the same room the human he loved died in... because he wasn't there to comfort her and have her take her bath.

He was so utterly alone. No Henry. No baby. And he felt that he had no one to blame but himself.

Part 2 | Part 3

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me mc #obey me pregnant mc #obey me next gen

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dealmeout · 2 years

Text

how to make an episode of m*a*s*h with HD video, but no laugh track: an advanced guide

(under a readmore, because it's extremely long and technical)

(you've been warned. also i wish i could put a pic up at the top here but i can't upload any more images 😔)

welcome one and all to my silly guide. i feel kind of goofy because im sure someone's done this already, like... it's m*a*s*h... but at this point i feel like i've got the process working well for my own personal use, so i might as well detail it. let's jump right in!

you'll need:

two (2) copies of your chosen episode -- one 16:9 HD copy w/ laugh track, and one 4:3 SD copy without. any file format should be fine, MKV and MP4 are what i personally work with

audacity (+ffmpeg) - https://www.audacityteam.org/download/

mkvtoolnix gui - https://mkvtoolnix.download/downloads.html

disclaimer -- i'm not responsible for you nuking your m*a*s*h episodes/computer/etc. as a result of this guide. (it's pretty safe and we're not going to be saving over any existing files tho)

also i tried to write everything like i was doing it for the first time, but if stuff is glaringly wrong or you run into issues, please shoot me a DM/ask and i can help

lastly, this is definitely like... kind of a technical process, and i'm probably bad at explaining it. again, nothing is really at risk here, but if you don't feel comfortable doing it you might want to stick to your single SD/HD copy. and hey, i'll take requests -- if there's a scene you really want to see, just let me know!

still here? cool. there are two parts of this process:

create a properly timed audio track

add this audio track to our existing HD video track

part 1 - create the audio track in audacity

(first time only) audacity + ffmpeg setup:

install audacity

go to this page and follow the steps under recommended installer -> https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_ffmpeg_for_windows.html

now we can import our episode's video files into audacity 👍

90% of the work is in this part. we're gonna be doing s04e08 (the kids) cause i wanna watch it later. let's start:

open audacity

drag and drop both of your video files in there. i recommend doing HD first, then SD

when it's done, you should see something like this:

okay SO

we're looking at a visual, spectrogram view (aka a spectral) of the audio track of the entire episode. when you see "hotter" colors like white-yellow-orange, that's basically like... the stuff that you and i can hear, so dialogue, music, all that. the height of the spikes correspond to the frequency of the audio. this is all getting kind of technical but you can read more about spectrals here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrogram

i also made this picture and i think it's cool so im including it. imagine hawkeye explaining spectrals to you... wow he's so smart :)

ok back to what we're actually looking at. i've annotated it a bit below to show roughly how a typical ep is split up -- you can see we have our theme song, our 2 main parts, our end scene, and the ending theme.

the red highlighted areas are where we'll be working. if you zoom in on either pic, you can see that our sections are split up by black vertical lines -- in the world of spectrals, black = silence. these silent sections are where commercials/ads would be added in, and it's also where our 2 audio tracks fall out of sync.

most importantly, this is where we'll be deleting or generating parts of the audio track -- only inside these silent portions (which will be much bigger when we zoom in.) we don't want to touch any portions with actual audio data, cause that might make things sound weird.

important note/technical explanation: there are 4 spectral lines total because each audio track is stereo and has 2 channels -- left and right. when i say "top track" or "bottom track", i'm referring to the 2 L+R channels as one track. don't worry too much about left vs right channels individually, they're gonna be the same.

the process starts at the very beginning, with the opening theme:

move your mouse over to the very start of the spectral portion

a yellow line should pop up. (it doesn't matter which track you're on.)

click once

at the top of the main audacity window, find the "zoom in" icon (it's the magnifying glass with the plus sign) and click 8 or 9 times

you can also hold the ctrl key and scroll with your mouse wheel. the scrollbar at the bottom will let you move around horizontally

your view should look like this now -- we want to be seeing around 3 to 6 seconds at once.

check out the specs. the 4 main "points" of yellow/orange/pink literally correspond to the 4 guitar notes of the opening song... i think that's kinda cool. doo doo doo doo...

see how the top track is a little bit misaligned from the bottom track though? we need them to line up exactly, so...

find a common point or peak that you can recognize on both the bottom and top tracks

on the bottom track, click at the start of this peak

drag your mouse until the guideline hits the start of this peak on the top track. do your best to line it up, it might take a few tries at first

i’ve created a cute little gif so you can see how i do it:

now that we have our selection, we have to find out the exact difference in timing. look down at the bottom left, where it says "start and length of selection" -- we need the second small number there. this time it's 74ms, which honestly isn't a very big time difference at all (it's usually between .5 and 3 seconds)

but regardless, we need to remove these 74ms from the bottom track to make it sync with the top. but we don't want to remove any actual audio data. so:

in the bottom track, click and drag your mouse and create a selection with that magic number, but only in the area of silence, as shown below:

hit the delete key

the audio tracks should be in sync now, and the peaks should (more or less) match up

one way we can check is to click at the beginning, then hit space to playback. you should hopefully hear the theme song (it might be a little louder than normal since we're playing it twice)

if it doesn't sound right, or if your peaks didn't end up matching, hit ctrl-z to undo and try again

let's do the next part, which is after the theme song ends -- about 50 seconds in. zoom out (use the buttons, or ctrl + scroll your mouse) to find it, then zoom back in until you get a comfortable window where you can see the peaks

we can see that it's not matching up again, so follow the same procedure:

click and drag on the bottom track to make a selection

match your peaks

get the timing

remove that length of time from the bottom track

check that it matches the top

now i'm gonna talk about adding time to the bottom track, as opposed to the deleting that we've been doing so far.

so here we are about halfway in, between parts 1 and 2 -- we can see the tracks are waaaaay off, and this time our bottom track is ahead.

this time, click and drag from the top track. this is so we get our handy guiding line to come up on the bottom track. here's another gif:

our time difference is 2.766 seconds, so pretty substantial! to add time to the bottom track, just do this:

on the bottom track, click anywhere in the silent portion

select Generate -> Silence from the top toolbar

key in your duration (the time difference)

click OK and you should be all matched up!

and that's kind of it. you'll need to zoom out again and look for another section of silence, then realign the audio tracks. generally this needs to happen 5-6 times per episode, but it goes quicker once you learn your way around audacity

other tips and tricks:

if your finished SD audio ends up being a teensy bit longer than the HD, just clip it at the end to match the HD track (we want to match the HD audio track's length cuz we're using its video track.) select what's there and hit delete (audacity should "snap" to the end with a yellow line)

(i've only seen this in SD s1/s2 so far) you might have tracks with near-continuous audio, so no black portions at all. just do your best with silence generation/deletion, and always play it back so that you can tell by ear

if you notice an extremely substantial time difference (± 30 seconds) between files, or your black lines aren't matching up at all, this method probably won't work :( (this is actually what made me realize my copy of SD s4 was sped up)

i've only done this for seasons 1-4. i don't think 5-11 would be that much different, but you never know

will not work out of the box on s04e01 welcome to korea if your SD version is the whole thing but your HD version is the one they split for syndication. (i might try to cobble something together though)

probably won't work with gfa if it's split the same way? i dont want to think about gfa right now guys, i just got here

once you're done and it all sounds good, here's what you need to do to export your audio:

close out your HD (top) track by clicking the X next to the file name

click File -> Export -> Export Audio

save it wherever

for file type, pick FLAC file

level = 8, bit depth = 16-bit

click Save

click Clear, then OK

ok NOW we're done with part 1. you're a hero if you've made it this far, and your toil will be worth it. think about all the gay little jokes you'll be able to watch in sexy modern 1080p!

part 2 - combine audio + video in mkvtoolnix

(first time only) mkvtoolnix setup:

install it

all right all right this is super duper easy

open up mkvtoolnix GUI, you should see a big screen. drag and drop your original, HD video file in there

it should populate a little list of the elements that make up your video file -- so subtitles, video track, and audio track. uncheck the audio box to exclude the HD audio cuz we don't want her

go and find the audio track you made in audacity, drag and drop that in there too (if it says something about a new source file, just make sure the top bubble is selected and click ok)

here's what it should look like, more or less:

hit "start multiplexing" at the bottom

that's it!

watch your episode and have fun :) if it doesn't sound or look right to your eyes, you can always go back and mess with it again

...so yeah there you have it. i don't do this for every episode i watch because you are missing out on stuff visually with a 16:9 crop, but idk, it's kinda fun to do and zen-like once you get quick at it. i'm insane btw

some final notes/thoughts:

i know the spectral stuff is the biggest learning curve, but imo, doing it this way is probably least harmful to the source video/audio, since we're only cutting or generating audio in silent portions. the video track isn't changed at all

as you probably noticed by now, this was all done on windows, but audacity/ffmpeg/mkvtoolnix GUI is available for macOS/linux, so you could probably do this on those platforms too

if you have the DVDs a fresh rip would probably be the best source possible for the SD audio. i'm trying to get my hands on them now bc the audio in my SD copy definitely doesn't sound as good as the HD 😔

i know this whole guide is on how to remove it, but i swear i don't even hate the laugh track THAT much, like it's fine. i just like doing weird stuff on the computer

you don't need to remove the HD audio track in mkvtoolnix. if you want both audio tracks, you can just toggle between them

(only audio nerds will care about this) i really REALLY hate doing lossy -> lossless (FLAC) for the audacity export because it's just inflating the file size for no reason, but i'm not sure if there's a better alternative? like... personally, i would rather have a lossless copy of the lossy audio rather than risking an additional lossy transcode on it. but if that doesn't worry you you could probably export as higher-quality AAC and it would be fine, yolo

sooooo that's all for now! if you end up actually cutting an episode this way and the guide worked PLEASE tell me i would love to know... or if you have suggestions/comments/DMCA takedowns....... ok bye 🍸☮

#i cant reread this anymore so im just posting it. also omg that tiny pensive emoji #mash #m*a*s*h

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levinneheart · 4 years

Note

Hi bby!!! I'm here with a request for your lovely writing BECAUSE IT'S WONDERFUL!! AND NEEDS RECOGNITION!! *ahem* So~ 25. “Sh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream, you’re okay.” and 16. “Can I hold your hand? Just for a little bit.” (from prompt list one) with gn!reader x sakusa?? I just thought it was a good combination for him 🥺

❝ …fluff imagine/scenario because soft sakusa is best sakusa ❞

I 💯% agree with this statement. I also changed the format to a drabble cuz it didn’t get to 1k words, I hope that’s alright and hope you like this scenerio, darling~ 😌💗 I’m sorry this took so long 🥺 Love from Levinne

Take my hand

requested on: 15th of August 2020

finished on: 4th of September 2020 (7:05 pm)

➳ Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x GN!Reader

➳ Genre: fluff, comfort, soft!sakusa | drabble

➳ Prompt: 25 ‘Sh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream, you’re okay’ + 16 ‘Can I hold your hand? Just for a little bit’ from prompt 1

Sakusa and y/n were classmates that became friends through his cousin, Komori. Sakusa was cold and seemed irritated by them but soon warmed up when he saw how considerate they are when it comes to others, especially towards him.

Sakusa noticed the subtle things about them that he didn’t; like how they wore gloves when they passed him his papers, how they brought their handkerchief to their face whenever they’d sneeze or coughed, how they didn’t get any closer to others than a few inches, and so on.

Sakusa was aware of all of it and he appreciates the tiny gestures that might seem ridiculous to others. As y/n and Sakusa’s friendship grew, Sakusa became concerned of the ever so deepening of the dark bags under their eyes.

“Do you even get enough sleep?” He asked, sounding both harsh and concerned.

“Yes. One to three hours, at least. Why?”

“Because you look like a panda.”

They chuckled. “Thanks.” Sakusa raised a brow at them before they continue, “But if you’re so worried about me, just ask.” They teased.

“Shut up.”

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅⊱◈⊰⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

One day, Sakusa’s cousin has been aware of the not so subtle changes and decided to confirm his suspicion. “What’s with you two being buddy-buddy all of the sudden?” Komori asked as he both regarded y/n and his cousin.

“No. She’s just a leech, I can’t seem to remove or kill.” Sakusa replied, obviously grossed put that he sprayed alcohol onto his hands while y/n’s body shook from disgust.

“Him and I? Buddy-buddy? Yeah, right.” They remarked sarcastically. “His company is pleasant though.”

“I concur.”

“Are you both admitting that you two are dating?” Komori teased.

They both looked at each other before looking back at him. “Sure.” They both answered at the same time.

That’s when it all started: being Sakusa’s significant other. To be honest, nothing much has changed but they did notice how he has become more soft towards them.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅⊱◈⊰⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Two figures sat across from each other, nothing but books fluttering, pens scribbling, and the ticking of the time resonated around the living room before the raven-haired male cleared his throat, breaking the peaceful silence.

“Let’s take a break.” his voice was slightly muffled by his mask but y/n understood perfectly. They began arranging their belongings neatly on the coffee table before plopping down on the couch and turning on her switch to play ACNH.

Sakusa joined them not long after while bask in their peaceful silence as the occasional yawns of y/n and the music from the ACNH theme song softly played in the background before the sounds of rain droplets started pouring down onto the glass panes.

He noticed how they immediately relaxed and scooted even deeper into the couch as they play their game. “Do you still have trouble sleeping?” Sakusa asked while they hummed in response that sounded as if they were thinking.

“So-so. Why do you ask?”

“Your bags. I’ve been seeing them getting deeper.”

“And?”

“Nothing.”

After a few minutes of silence, y/n paused their game and gave Sakusa their whole attention. “Do you plan on going home in this weather?” He shook his head in response. “Do you want to sleep here? I doubt it’s gonna end soon.”

Sakusa considered the pros and cons before nodding. “It’s better than getting drenched with filthy water.”

“Betta be.” They scoffed, almost playfully. “Follow me to my room, then.” When y/n said that he gave them a look which made them rolled their eyes. “Quit giving me that look. I may be your significant other but that doesn’t mean you’ll get to sleep with me in my bed.”

Sakusa seemed satisfied with that answer as he followed them to their room which was a simple and modern styled room which had their bed, a couch, and other furniture. They began rampaging through their cabinets and pulled out a new pillow and a comforter then placing it neatly on the couch for him to use later.

They laid on the bed, scrolling through their phone while Sakusa sat on the couch, doing the same thing. Soon, he falls asleep due to exhaustion before waking up to sniffling coming from the bed.

Confused and slightly irritated from being woken up, he shook y/n’s form on the bed and immediately sat up, panting and trembling. Sakusa’s expression quickly shifted from irrited to concerned. “Are you—”

“I—” They sobbed.

He sat next to them, offering them tissues until they calmed down. “Sh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream, you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” They said in a hushed tone, their voice slightly shaking after breaking down.

“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“That’s a lie and we both know that.” They both chuckled.

“It doesn’t matter, go back to bed.”

“Okay, then you can go back to sleep on the couch.”

“Don’t be silly. I want to stay up with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Just know that I’m always here for you.” Sakusa replied as he settled on their bed while they got ready to go back to sleep.

“Can I hold your hand? Just for a little bit.”

“Take my hand.” They wordlessly held his hand as they both tried to get back to sleep.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅⊱◈⊰⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Next morning

Sakusa: Why are you up so early?

Yn: I wanted to make you breakfast as thanks last night. Plus, your bed hair is really cute.

Sakusa: Shut up...

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jimalim · 3 years

Note

Had feelings for years (pre island crush)

Over heard have feelings (Leah over heard fatin and dot)

Drunk confession (Leah picking up fatin from a party post island)

Scream leatin !!!

Hello!! First thank you so much for the pormpts! I chose to write the second one (Overheard feelings) but I really love the others too so hopefully one day I’ll make it back around to them! Second, I was a bit experimental with the formatting of this, I'm hoping it makes sense when you read it all, but I'll leave an end note to explain just in case. I loved this prompt! But I think my crazy idea may have made it harder to write lol so I just hope it pays off lol

Putting it under the cut since it’s a bit longer.

It’s not long before Leah inevitably passes out, the drugs in her system working properly. Fatin’s not entirely sure what exactly she gave Leah to get her to calm down after running off into the ocean, but she trusts Dot. She knows Leah will be ok, at least physically. She’s not sure how Leah will fare mentally when she wakes up.

They manage to carry her back to camp, limp arms slung over Fatin and Dot’s shoulders. Fatin can’t help but shake how much Leah’s dead weight makes her think about how similar the scenario could have been had Leah been successful. That is if she wasn’t taken by the tide altogether. Thank fuck for Rachel.

After they get Leah settled by the fire, so she can dry off faster while she sleeps, Dot dismisses herself to check on Rachel, who was still lying on the beach recovering, Nora by her side. Fatin, needing to feel something to keep her grounded, moves closer to where Leah was resting and threads her calf through Leah’s ankles. It’s not much, but from where she sits above on the log, it’s all she can do without making Leah uncomfortable, if she could even feel it right now anyway.

She watches Leah. Really straining to see the rise and fall of her chest to signal she’s still breathing. She breathes with her, as if mirroring the action will somehow control Leah’s body to keep on. In. Out. In. Out.

Dot returns a while later expelling a heavy sigh as she takes a seat next to Fatin.

“You got that right.” Fatin tries to joke, but her voice falls flat. Her eyes still focused on Leah’s ribcage, not even bothering to look Dot’s direction.

“Any idea what may have pushed her over the edge?” This time, Dot thinks, but doesn’t dare speak. Leah’s had a number of crazy outbursts since they first arrived on the beach, but this time was different, and she knew it.

“More suspicion about the island I guess.” Fatin’s low monotone quietly rasps, her eyes still not moving.

Dot just humms in response. After Leah’s outburst on Shelby, everyone knew she was drowning in suspicion about what the island meant, some bigger conspiracy no one else allowed themselves to entertain. None of them thought that would lead to an attempt at a literal drowning.

She bumps Fatin’s shoulder with her own, “How’re you holding up?”

“Hmm?” Still laser focused on Leah’s breathing.

Dot looks over to the sleeping figure for a moment before glancing back at Fatin’s dead eyes. “I know everyone’s worried about Leah, and rightfully so, but I’m worried about you.”

This gets Fatin to finally return her gaze. “Why?”

Dot just tilts her head to the side. She can deny it all she wants, but Dot knows. It’s written all over Fatin’s face.

“I’m fine.” Fatin deadpans, turning her attention back to Leah.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. I know you pretty damn well by now, and I know how much she means to you.” She doesn’t elaborate, just waits for Fatin to respond.

There’s a long silent pause, a whisper, “is she gonna be ok?” Fatin’s voice trembles, ignoring the implications of what Dot just said. She makes eye contact again, this time her eyes silently begging for the answer to be yes.

“Truthfully? I don’t know.” Dot clenches her jaw tight, “But I’ll be damned before I let anyone else here die. Not again.”

Fatin breaks, tears falling profusely, her voice cracking, “I can’t lose her.”

Dot wraps her into her chest and let’s Fatin sob…

Leah’s out for a long time. The drugs still in her system. Maybe it’s a good thing, Fatin thinks, some much needed rest should do her good right? It’s dark, and the other have all gone to sleep, except for her and Dot. They sit on the log near Leah. Fatin still checking on Leah’s breathing occasionally, sighing with relief every time. They make random small talk, but it’s mostly just silence between them. Fatin refusing to sleep so she can watch over Leah, and Dot doing the same so she can watch over Fatin. It’s an unspoken agreement, but Fatin knows the truth and she’s grateful for Dot’s presence.

“You know, Leah and I barely knew each other before coming here.”

Dot scoffs amusedly, “I figured that much.”

“But we did have a class together.” Fatin recounts, “fourth period English, right after lunch. She sat two rows over, three seats up.”

“Your memory is insane.” Dot laughs at the minute details.

“She didn’t speak much, at least not on her own accord. Leah was obviously the teacher’s favorite, so she’d often get called on as a last resort when no one else volunteered.”

Dot stayed silent, letting Fatin speak uninterrupted. It seemed she had something she wanted to say, or to work out aloud, Dot being a sympathetic audience member.

“The only thing I knew about her then was she excelled at English.” Fatin glances at Leah’s still figure, a small smile on her face. “Now, what, 20 some days later in this place, forced to be around each other 24/7 and that’s still pretty much all I know.” Her smile quickly becomes a frown.

“And yet, I feel so damn much for her. I don’t understand it.”

“You guys talk though? Like all the time. Ever since the waterfall you’ve been like a pair.” Dot’s confusion at Fatin’s insistence that she doesn’t know Leah well enough high.

“I talk. She mostly just listens. Speaking when called on like the fucking teacher’s pet.” Fatin’s anger is evident in her tone, bitter words cutting through the darkness around them.

“I don’t deserve her.” It’s a quiet admission. Barely above a whisper. “But I think I love her.”

Dot places a comforting hand on Fatin’s shoulder. She hesitates before speaking, waiting to see if Fatin has more to say. When it’s clear she doesn’t Dot calmly assures her, “You do know her, better than anyone here. Maybe not the traditional favorite color, future dreams trival shit, but you know how to make her smile. How to calm her down. When she’s upset, and when she’s spiraling. If you ask me, that’s what’s important to know. The rest of it is just fluff.”

Fatin shakes her head in disagreement, “But I didn’t know, not what she was gonna do today.”

“No one, not even you could have known that. In case you forgot we’re all starving.” Dot motions to the girls sleeping around them. “No one here is in the right headspace to figure that shit out.”

“I should have though.”

Dot groans playfully in effort to get Fatin to lighten up, she’s being too hard on herself. “We can go back and forth on this all night, so just shut up and accept you’re wrong and save us the time.”

Fatin smiles softly, turmoil still weighing on her features.

It’s not much, but Dot still takes it as a good sign, “But about those feelings. You should let yourself, well, feel them. You deserve that much for sure. Plus, you and Leah would look good together.” She throws on for good measure.

This causes Fatin to crack a real smile, and a quiet laugh escapes her lips.

“But Dorothy, what about us?” Fatin jokes, feeling like herself for the first time in hours.

“It was never about us,” Dot teases, she motions with her head toward Leah, “she’s always had your heart.”

……

Leah’s groggy. Her head’s pounding and her body is incredibly sore. Every muscle stiff. Her senses slowly come back to her one at a time. Pain evident that touch is first. Smell, the fire near. Her mind reeling, thoughts failing to connect.

Words. Random. Hearing slowly coming to her as she drifts in and out of consciousness. Until words became sentences fragmented. Dialogue between people. Fatin? And-and-Dot.

She’s waiting. Wanting to speak, her voice lost to the screams in the ocean. And then the dialogue becomes tangible. Words attaching themselves to meanings in her foggy brain. A conversation she’s not a part of, but can hear. Her name! Good together. A conversation about her. It all slowly clicks into place, the words, the fragments. It was never about us, she’s always had your heart. Leah’s still groggy, but that much is clear.

And all she can do in that moment is hope it’s all true.

A/N: So I was going for a visual formatting thing that would parallel the Leah pov at the end. Basically the words in bold are the words Leah hears as she slips in and out of consciousness as her body readjusts. So knowing this if you go back and read it again, you'll know what Leah was going through at that time we see Dot/Fatin's pov. Idk if it worked, but it was worth a shot lol let me know what you think in the comments!

#leatin #leah rilke #fatin jadmani #dot campbell #the wilds #ask

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