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ipegchangbin · 1 month

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Imagine this: Changbin hiding the fact he tried to masturbate thinking his lover was out for too long..forgot to take out the vibrator in him and he tries to lie while holding back the noises..the whole night it's in him moving around and he keeps holding back..but when they are about to sleep his lover asks him if he's hiding anything..this has been in my head and it turns me on

anon. oh my god.

🏷️ sub!changbin. dom!gn!reader. established relationship. sex toys.

it’s so good. way too good to stop. changbin keeps the vibrator inside him while he fists his cock for what seems like forever.

he wishes that the vibrator was being controlled by you, so he recreates your cruelty — and sweetness — by hiding the remote under his pillow while he uses yours between his legs.

but before he could hump the pillow, hell seeps through the crack between the door frame once changbin realizes you’re at the door.

knock, knock, knock.

“binnie, i’m back,” you yawn, stretching your arm as you swing the door open.

oh fucking shit.

changbin isn’t quick enough despite your slow movements. he pulls up his shorts but forgets to turn the vibrator off, so he simply clamps his legs shut with your pillow instead. he looks all sorts of weird, face fully flushed and sweaty, his body covering more than half the bed, curly hair tousled although he hasn’t slept, face shocked as if he didn’t expect you home — though he should have, it’s just that he didn’t check the time.

so much for jerking off. rather, so much for thinking about you.

“how’ve you been?” you tilt your head, curious at your suspiciously flushed boyfriend.

thank god that the vibrator that you got for changbin is silent, but why did it have to be so strong? changbin

“i just…worked out a bit,” he huffs, “uhh, did some cooling down exercises here.”

“didn’t you just come from the gym?”

“i did! and…i was bored, so i did jumping jacks…” changbin cuts you off a little too excitedly.

there’s a star in changbin’s eye when he winks at you as a distraction from the fact that the little toy is fucking him on the highest setting. he struggles not to whine, so he coughs a bit after shooting you a reassuring smile.

you’re not really buying it though, but nothing shows on your face. he mistakes it for the coast being clear. he kind of hopes you’d briefly get out of the room, though.

“oh well. i also have some unfinished work.” you sit down on the edge of the bed beside his legs, reaching for your laptop from your bag. “mind if i just finish this?”

he minds. a lot.

firstly, you look way too hot. you’re just in everyday semiformal, but that’s the exact type of clothing changbin imagined you in while he was abusing his cock earlier. secondly, you’re right there and way too close. it makes the butterflies pool in his stomach, but the butterflies fly in tornadoes until they burst into flames. he figures it’s from both from the close proximity and from the sickeningly unforgiving vibrator.

and thirdly, the said vibrator found its way through changbin’s sweet spot, giving him a full body shiver. you could feel him quivering through the comforters.

“is my binnie okay?”

“i’m f-fine. just tired.”

you silently question whether muscle spasms can cause vibrations as big as that. they could, but not like that. in fact, he shakes eerily similar to the time you tried that vibrator for the first time.

he was a screaming mess. his ass was moving on its own, in the air and quivering from the sensations inside him. he kept begging for you, unclear with what he desired specifically, but you knew that he just wanted you. all of you. he wanted more of what you were doing, whining your name with no aim of a demand, drooling onto the bedsheets while his fists grabbed helplessly onto the pillows as you put the vibrator into the highest setting for seconds on end, making him cum.

it’s too bad he can’t do any of that now.

so he stares. he stares at you and what you’re working on while awkwardly trying to shift positions on the bed. he tries helplessly to stop the vibrator from hitting the spot that gets him cumming the hardest, but it only goes further in. his walls clench and tighten around the toy while he watches your fingers. he catches your reflection in the laptop screen.

he’s so fucked, literally and figuratively.

you look back at your pitiful boyfriend.

the poor pillow between changbin’s thighs and the vibrator is suspiciously wrinkled, but you think nothing of it as your boyfriend shifts his position slightly again. you think he’s just acting naturally cute like this, thighs squeezed against the fabric while the curvature of his ass peeks from behind his hips.

it looks delicious. so plump that not even the facade of his body can cover it. it looks especially full, and you know this even if you’re unaware that it’s literally filled.

you can’t help the urge, and so you slap changbin’s ass.

what a fucking mistake.

the boy’s eyes widen as he successfully bites back a supposedly loud whine. that’s what he thinks, as a little whimper betrays his lips in the process.

but you try to think nothing of it, smirking at him instead.

“so cute,” you coo.

if only he could run to the bathroom without cumming in his shorts. everything affects him to such a high degree that he’s red, warm to the touch, and sweating buckets. he merely digs his head into his pillow and clenches his ass instinctively, hopelessly looped back into the never-ending cycle of suffering that he got himself into.

then you get up from your spot. you slam the laptop down and stretch, putting the device lazily on the bedside table without a second thought. you toss your accessories off and simply stretch your back until it hits the bed, lying down beside changbin.

shit, shit, shit.

“i had a long day,” you start. “can we cuddle?”

“ah, uhm, sure, b-but i’m…a little sweaty and sore, yeah.” changbin fails to keep his cool.

“but we always hug even if you’re sweaty and sore.” you pout and squeeze his bicep. “we even fuck like that.”

god, if you don’t stop talking to him like this.

changbin lets out a small whine, attempting to hide his face in the pillow again. that’s when your suspicion ticks. you could feel a strong vibration against the bed and you’re not sure if it’s your boyfriend or your overheating laptop by the bedside table.

“are you sick?”

“no…”

“then what’s up?”

he looks away and that’s when you notice how watery his eyes are. his face is fully flushed, his ears are red. sweat gets his bangs sticking to his forehead. he looks like he’s quite literally heated up.

and he is. the vibrations of the machine inside his ass heats him up, which doesn’t help his already warming walls. his plush ass keeps it in and the more he involuntarily clenches, the more that he feels it whirring and hitting his insides. it almost hurts but it’s so good, and you’ve been at this for so long but he can’t blame you.

he wants to just admit it.

“are you hiding something?”

but he can’t.

“n-no…”

“binnie, you’re stuttering. you don’t look okay. is anything bothering you?”

he could cry. from the pain, from the pleasure, from the fact that you care so much about him that his heart swells as much as his sweet spot is swelling at this point. he can’t help this insane amount of love but fuck, if he could just turn it off.

but a part of him doesn’t want to.

and when you find out, you don’t either.

you yank your pillow out of changbin’s thighs and the vibrator slips out from the force.

you’ve been thinking about it since earlier: your pillow was sitting between his legs for seemingly no reason. though, you know him better than he does, and you know that’s a sign that he’s horny. he always masturbates with your pillow between his legs. you could only guess why, but your intuition serves you right as changbin stares in horror at the vibrator whirring outside of him.

for some reason, the emptiness of his ass hurts, but your reassuring smile cuts through it as he stares at your face.

“if you wanted me to help, you should’ve asked, binnie.”

#sub!skz #skz smut #sub!changbin #changbin smut #dom!reader #💌 ipeginbox #<3 a lovely anon #💬 z is writimg

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cinnamoneve · 7 months

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𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐧.

eonian \ əʊnɪən \ (adj.) - continuing forever or indefinitely; lasting for an immeasurable amount of time

❆ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: gojo satoru x gn!reader ❆ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: food always tastes better when it's shared with someone you love. even if you're too tired to appreciate it ❆ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: reader doesn't like red bean paste lol (this is self indulgent because i do not like red bean paste. im sorry.) ❆ 𝐰𝐜: 2k ❆ 𝐚/𝐧: i love domesticity i love boring things about being in love!!! in my mind gojo isn't sealed and nothing bad ever happens to him, he's eating taiyaki on the floor and happy ♡ please enjoy

satoru said he’d be home hours ago.

tracking him down when he was out on a mission was near impossible. you both agreed that if there was any kind of emergency, he’d definitely find a way to get to you. but if not, no news was good news with satoru’s work.

unfortunately, this made any type of planning difficult for the two of you, so you had to soak up all the time together you could.

by the time you had finished dinner, your appetite was gone, and you’d realized that the last thing you wanted to do was eat by yourself in the quiet apartment. you covered the food, as if a thin layer of plastic would help to preserve the presentation and flavor. satoru would eat when he’s home, and you’d join him, you thought.

mealtimes always made satoru a little bashful. he refused to eat without you, and would pout if you didn’t uphold your end of it as well. satoru firmly believes that food always tastes better when you share it with someone you love. whether or not it’s true, or whether or not you believe it yourself, satoru has an almost parasitic way of infecting you with every inch of him; so throughout your entire relationship, you can count all the meals you’ve eaten alone on one hand.

hidden beneath the five languages of love, there has to be a secret, sixth one that satoru has surrounding food. what better way to tell you he loves you than to cut your apples the way you like? or remember your takeout order? not to mention the sampling of any dessert place within a certain radius of his mission, just for him to steal a bite. or two. or three.

sharing a meal with satoru felt deeply intimate. with every bite from his plate, it felt like his love was devouring you at the same time. whole, or piece by piece, even. he had always wondered if you’d caught on that his sweet tooth developed after he kissed you for the first time. he’s just hoping to find something sweet enough to hold himself over until the next time he gets to fall in love with you again, and again.

collapsing on the couch, you drifted off thinking about what dessert he’d bring you this time. some type of pastry? a sweet bread, doughnut, or maybe a cake sampling? you wondered if he’d smear icing on your nose so he could kiss it off again, or how many kisses he’d steal between bites. or even, the gentle way he held his hand underneath your chin to catch any stray crumbs.

your daydreaming got the best of you, however, and you hadn't realized the time when you heard the all-too familiar sound of a key jingling in the door handle.

you sit up a bit and make yourself look like you weren’t fantasizing about a man who is already and desperately yours. you didn’t want satoru to feel guilty–he wouldn’t want you to stay up too late for him.

it’s around 3am when the door opens.

he looks wiped. your poor, pouty boyfriend melted in your arms when you met him at the door.

“i missed you, love,” was all he managed to croak out before exhaustion hit him, nearly leaning on all of you with his weight to keep himself stable.

“i saved you something to eat, satoru,”

“oh, thank you. i love you,”

he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead after mumbling the confession, and shuffled his way into the kitchen. not even halfway in, his legs called it quits and he resorted to sitting down on the cold floor.

“i don’t think i’m moving from this spot”

“i’ll join you, honey,” you spoke softly, almost nervous that your words would shatter him.

you leaned down and helped him take off his blindfold. he ran his fingers through his hair, eager to loosen it up and relieve the tension building.

you notice a white box wrapped in delicate twine.

“can i take that from you? where can i put this?”

satoru rubs the day out of his eyes. “anywhere’s fine. this shop near me today is known for its taiyaki. i couldn’t remember which filling you liked, so i got them all. we don’t have to eat them now”

satoru had watched you order taiyaki before, on numerous occasions. for a man who can remember every detail of orders from restaurants you like, there’s no way in hell he could ever forget which filling you preferred. chalk it up to exhaustion, maybe, or his own selfish intention of eating the ones you don’t like.

you grabbed the box and put it on the counter, silently.

satoru watched your every step as you carefully reheated the dinner you made. although, a puzzled expression crossed his pretty face when he saw you reheating two plates instead of one.

“you didn’t eat?” he asked, almost whispering.

“hm?” you almost didn’t hear him. “oh, no, satoru, how could i? i wanted to wait for you”

he rests his head on the cabinets behind him, gently pouting away from you.

“it’s late, love, you could’ve eaten without me.”

his voice was sincere, but you knew his words weren’t. eating alone would’ve been the straw that broke the camel's back, he realized, and he regretted his bold-faced lie the second the words left his mouth.

all you did was continue to heat up your plates, a soft smile adorning your tired features. satoru looked at you like you were made of an ornate and delicate glass, something precious to admire but never touch. you were almost a heavenly treasure, tonight especially, and he couldn’t help but watch in silence.

you grabbed your plates and sat with him on the floor, just enough to be close but not in his personal space. extending out your legs to get comfortable, satoru gently laced his long, spindly legs with yours. anything to be in your space.

“eat up, it’s hot,” was all you said.

satoru did as he was told, grabbing the plate from your hands gently so as to not burn himself.

“thank you for the food,”

you sat in silence for a bit, just enjoying the meal you made and each other’s presence. usually, satoru is buzzing to tell you about work missions; the kind of curse, how his students did, if he had to dramatically save them (and how cool he looked doing it too). tonight was different. you’re not sure if something happened or if he was just too tired to even bring it up, but you still wanted to ask.

“do you wanna talk about your mission today, satoru?”

“mmm, there’s nothing to talk about, babe,” he added between bites, “it was super lame and long. i missed you the whole time, though”

“thinking about me with an ugly curse in front of you, how romantic”

“ah, hush, you know what i mean,” he rolls his eyes and shakes his leg against yours. “how about you, how was your day?”

you finish your meal and set your clean plate on the kitchen floor with a big sigh.

“booooring,” you shifted closer to satoru as he finished up as well, “i had no work to do, so i just hung out here all day.”

“mmm, sounds fun though. a day to do nothing, i mean” satoru put his hand on your leg as he looked off at the floor.

he wondered how he’d spend a day off. his first thought was to spend it with you, and the next, would be to take his students out. maybe to an expensive shop nobara wanted to see so he could spoil her a bit, or take yuuji to some movie he’s begged someone, anyone, to see with him. or actually, the day could be spent finding megumi a quiet bookstore in a quaint and cozy town so he can truly soak up some alone time.

naturally, his thoughts go back to you, and how you could spend the time together. god, the possibilities were just endless. a day trip? a movie marathon? a romantic day together filled with any type of date you’ve ever wanted? he didn’t care. a day in bed with you would be a day fulfilling and well-spent.

not once did he consider spending it alone. he was selfless like that, but also selfish like that.

you grabbed his plate and stood up to put it in the sink, grabbing the pastry box on your way back to joining him on the floor.

“doing nothing is fun, i guess, until it really isn't. it’s lame being alone,” you say. you sit a little bit closer to him than before, throwing out your regard for satoru’s personal space. if anything, his hand on your thigh was an indication, a blinding one, really, that you should be closer to him.

satoru’s leg finds yours as his hands reach for the box.

“what, you miss me or something?”

his ridiculous question forms a reluctant smile on your lips. you look at him as he gently holds one of the taiyaki between his teeth, passing you the box and avoiding eye contact.

“hmm, maybe a little,” you answer, grabbing the box from his lap.

satoru takes a bite and looks at you, exaggeratedly offended.

his mouth is full.

“only a little?”

“yeah. just, like, a teensy bit”

satoru sighs dramatically after he swallows his first bite.

“and to think i brought home your favorite filling too, from a famous taiyaki shop”

you meticulously pick out one of the crispy fish from the box, hoping you guessed the filling correctly.

“i thought you didn’t remember my favorite,”

satoru stops chewing for a second to mull it over.

“c’mon. did you really believe that?”

“hehe, no,” you giggle, “you’re not good at lying to me, you know”

“whatever,” he groans, finishing off his last bite.

biting into yours, you realize you picked wrong, and the taste of anko fills your mouth. you stop chewing immediately.

“blegh, i got a red bean paste filled one,” you moan.

“i’ll eat it, baby,” satoru grabs the fish and the box from your hands. he picks out another. “this one is chocolate filled, and this one is custard. i wasn’t sure if you liked matcha, but i got a couple of those too,”

you grab your favorite from the ones he pointed out, and scoot up to kiss him on the jaw.

“thank you, satoru, this is sweet.”

“i don’t even know how you function without liking anko,” satoru replies, “even if it’s a red flag, you’re so welcome,”

you both continue to eat your treats together, commenting on how the shop lives up to its reputation. satoru helps you to your feet as you begin putting the leftovers away for the night.

as you turn to the bedroom for your long overdue sleep, satoru doesn’t follow.

“coming to bed, honey?” you ask.

“i’m gonna clean up a little. you don’t have to wait for me,”

“leave it for the night, satoru, it’s been a hell of a day,”

if one person cooks, the other cleans. it was an unwritten rule in the household. satoru liked keeping a clean house to maintain a clear mind, but he was relieved to hear tonight was the exception.

he turns off the lights and finds you on his way to the bedroom.

“thank you for waiting for me tonight, my love”

“i only did so the food would taste better, you know,” you laugh back.

“i’d say it was worth it then.”

if only food could taste this good forever, could be this sweet, you would wait a million years just to sit with satoru on the kitchen floor.

all content © cinnamoneve 2023. do not repost, modify, steal, or copy without permission.

#gojo satoru x reader #★ jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #jjk #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru fluff #jjk satoru #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk gojo #he's like my wife #but a grown man #jujutsu kaisen #♡ satoru

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inorganicone2230 · 3 months

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Like Hoarded Gold (Part 1) Yandere!Gojo/Geto x Fem!Reader

Part 2

Summary: Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo are complete strangers to you, but when they unexpectedly learn of the tragic news that has irrevocably shattered your life to pieces, the two of them become determined to help you and make you happy again, whether you want them to or not.

Warnings: Not many for this chapter, just the guys being nosy creeps for now.

Side Note: I do NOT and never will condone the actions committed in this or any future chapters, please be mindful and respectful of the fact that all of this is purely fiction.

“Come on, babe.”

Satoru Gojo moaned shamelessly into the kiss he shared with his lifelong friend and romantic partner, Suguru Geto, as he pressed the dark haired man down into the gym mat of the darkened storeroom they had snuck into.

“You're so fucking needy.”

Suguru playfully taunted him, even as he groaned and pawed at the other young man just as desperately, his hands finally finding purchase on Satoru’s hips so he could grind their still clothed and aching erections together.

They’d had a break between lectures and when Satoru had teasingly suggested that the two of them find a quiet spot for a quicky, he had been more than happy to agree, which was how they now found themselves in their current situation; namely, the two of them laid out on an old mat in the storeroom of the college gym, desperately dry-humping one another.

“You're not gonna sound so cocky once I’m balls-deep in your tight fucking ass.” Satoru shot back, nipping his neck hard enough that it was surely going to leave a very noticeable bruise, one he knew Suguru would wear with immense pride and satisfaction.

Suguru’s chuckle was deep and sensual as he reached between them to begin unbuckling his boyfriend's belt and pants, desperate to get his large hands wrapped around Satoru’s fat cock.

“Wanna bet on-”

The door to the storeroom suddenly creaked open and both men instantly froze as dim light from the previously empty gym briefly flooded the space before closing and going dark again.

“Shit!” Satoru whispered harshly into his ear, just loud enough so only he would hear it. “Did a professor or someone else follow us?”

It's not like the two of them had ever tried to hide their relationship from the public, such a thing would have been an impossible endeavor anyway, what with how affectionate and touchy Satoru could be most of the time. But even with their relationship being public knowledge, it still hadn't stopped the occasional creeper or fame-chaser from trying to catch them in compromising situations, usually to try and extort the white haired young man for a cut of his rather impressively large fortune and inheritance.

With the unexpected death of his parents only four years prior, and Satoru being their only child, he had been the sole beneficiary to the Gojo family's vast wealth and assets, and while he still had to graduate college first before he could receive the entirety of his inheritance in full, the monthly stipend he received every month to fund their lifestyle until then was certainly nothing to sneeze at.

But it also had the unfortunate drawback of painting a big red bullseye on his back, and subsequently Suguru’s as well, one that led some people to think that they would be an easy target for some quick cash if a compromising photo could be taken and dangled over their heads.

“Just stay quiet for now.” Suguru replied, then tenderly kissed Satoru's cheek with the kind of affection he knew would leave the Gojo heir blushing. “If they try anything, I'll be the one to handle it.”

And he meant it to, he had already beat the shit out of a few creeps for trying this kind of shit, and would be more than willing to do so again if it came down to it.

Satoru was his, and he would always have his back, just like he knew Satoru would always have his.

The two of them, thankfully, were tucked away in a corner of the storeroom behind some stacked boxes of equipment, so they would see anyone that came around the corner, but when no one came, the two of them slowly rose to their feet to take a peek around, wondering if maybe the individual actually hadn't stuck around and left when the door shut.

But there, leaning against the wall next to the door was a young girl, one who both men briefly recognized as a first year, more specifically, she was a foreign exchange student who they just so happened to share one or two classes with this semester.

You had your phone drawn up to your ear and seemed to be calling the same number repeatedly as your expression grew more and more frantic every time the person(s) on the other end failed to pick up.

“The fuck?” Satoru silently mouthed as they looked at one another, confusion written all over each other's faces, but Suguru was just as lost as his partner and only shook his head at him.

He now suspected that you had no idea you weren't alone in here, which meant that you weren't a threat, so his posture had relaxed once more, but now he was also fairly curious as to what had brought you here, and who you were so desperately trying to get ahold of.

And based on the noticeable gleam in Satoru's bright blue eyes, Suguru knew he was also just as curious.

And then, as if their nosiness had triggered something on the other end of your phone, they suddenly heard your voice speak, your tone sounding both relieved and panicked as words, in what they were able to tell was English, began tumbling out of your mouth in fast succession.

The only problem however, was that neither of them knew enough of the language to be able to piece full sentences together.

“Oh come on!” Satoru quietly groaned in exasperation.

He knew enough to be able to pick out a few words here and there; words like ‘no’ and ‘please’ and ‘wait’, which you seemed to be repeating quite often as your voice grew more and more panicked, but eventually, whoever was on the other end must have abruptly ended the call, because you stopped talking as the phone slowly slid from your slackened grip and fell to the floor with a loud enough crash that he knew without even seeing it that the damn things screen was likely shattered to bits from the impact with the concrete flooring.

You looked so sad and heartbroken in that moment, and before either man knew what was happening, you dropped to your knees with a sickening thud that left both of them wincing. Your knees were most definitely going to be in a world of hurt once you finally managed to pull yourself out of whatever dark hole that conversation had thrown you into.

And then came the wailing…

The sounds that came pouring out of you were absolutely gut wrenching, and despite not knowing anything about you, not even your name, it took everything Satoru and Suguru had to stop themselves from going to you and demanding what it was that had caused this.

You had your arms wrapped so tightly around yourself, like you would fall to pieces if you weren't holding yourself together in that lonely embrace, and you were sobbing so hard that they both feared you might actually make yourself sick if you didn't get your breathing under control.

“What do you think we should do?” Suguru whispered.

Satoru didn't once take his eyes off you as he shook his head in uncertainty.

“I honestly don't know.” He answered. “We would probably just make things worse if we suddenly pop out and she learns we've been here this whole time.”

Suguru had to agree, and as much as it killed him to stand back and let your trauma unfold like this, he knew that Satoru was right.

Neither of them completely understood why they had this unexplainable urge to go to you, someone who was a complete and total stranger, but it was a matter they were going to have to ponder together and discuss at great length before making any solid decisions on.

But for now, they simply had to let the situation run its natural course and hope for the best, even if waiting and patience was never either of their strong suits.

And so they did.

They waited for almost thirty minutes, watching and listening to the sound of your very soul shattering as you cried yourself into exhaustion before you eventually managed to pick yourself back up off the floor and slowly and silently exit the storage space. Neither of them failed to notice the dead expression on your face or how utterly lifeless your eyes appeared to be, and both men knew it had little to do with the poor lighting from the few small windows sprinkled along the walls near the ceiling.

And only once they were certain they were alone again did both Satoru and Suguru finally release the breath neither of them realized they were simultaneously holding.

“Fucking hell…” Satoru groaned and slumped down to the floor to sit on his haunches. “What was that all about?” He asked, looking up at Suguru through feather soft lashes.

Suguru leaned back against the wall across from him and let out his own sigh of frustration.

He didn't understand what this feeling was or where it was coming from, but it was taking all his restraint not to go chasing after you, to make certain you didn't do anything foolish.

Perhaps it had something to do with seeing you in such a vulnerable state when you thought you were completely alone…

He had seen plenty of his friends in bad moods or had been a shoulder for them to cry on when they were stressed and upset, but he had never seen anyone in real life break apart so uncontrollably the way you had just now; not even Satoru after the death of his parents, if one could even call those two absent shit-stains by the title of parent.

“I don't know.” He whispered. “Maybe she has a significant other back home and they got into a fight or something?”

He saw the darkened look that flashed across Satoru's face and knew immediately that the thought of that prospect didn't settle with him any better than it did with Suguru himself.

“Or someone she knows could have gotten hurt, or even died.” Satoru casually stated, and wondered what it must have said about him that he hoped it was that and not Suguru's option.

This was not what either of them had expected to deal with today, not that anyone could have predicted it, but now that they had witnessed what you obviously must have thought was a moment of extreme vulnerability, their interest was thoroughly piqued and he knew that neither he nor Suguru would be able to walk away and just forget about it so easily.

At the very least, he wanted to know the details of the situation, even if they couldn't do anything about it to help you in the end, because if he didn't, then those mournful cries of yours would follow him for a long time, possibly forever, and he wasn't entirely sure he could stay sane if the burning question of it wasn't answered.

“Come on, let's go home for the rest of the day and figure out what we want to do.” Suguru said, and held his hand out to help his boyfriend rise to his feet. “There's no point in attending any more of our classes today if neither of us will be able to properly concentrate.”

It wasn't until they were almost to the door that something caught Satoru's attention and he had to pause for a moment to thank the heavens for his good fortune, because there was your shattered phone, still laying on the ground where it had originally dropped.

“It must be our lucky day, babe.” He said with a grin, bending down to pick up the device.

“I'm not too surprised, the poor thing was practically catatonic when she left, and a broken phone was probably the last thing on her mind.” Suguru wrapped his arms around Satoru's middle and rested his chin in the crook of his neck to look over his shoulder and watch him gingerly tap at the screen. “Maybe we could use returning it as an excuse to talk to her?” He suggested, but dismissed the idea just as quickly when he realized that would mean needing to explain how they found it and how they knew it was yours.

Satoru nodded his head absentmindedly, already knowing that he and Suguru had likely reached the same conclusion on that option, but he had one that might prove to be a bit more useful to them in the long run, especially as the lock screen lit up and showed both men that it was only the protective cover over the screen that was shattered. The sturdy case and screen protector had spared it from any true damage, and as he stared at the picture you had set of you and what appeared to be your parents at your high school graduation ceremony, he couldn't help but feel that fate was too good a word to describe this opportunity, and it had to mean something so much more.

“Let's stop by a cell-phone store on the way home.” He suggested, before pocketing the device and turning to give his boyfriend a conspiratorial wink and smile. “I have an idea of my own that I think you'll like a whole lot more.”

----------

Later on that night, Satoru and Suguru found themselves snuggled up together on the couch that faced the large wall of windows in their penthouse apartment that overlooked the Tokyo city skyline.

When the two of them had first graduated high school together nearly four years earlier and started apartment hunting together, they had immediately been sold on this particular property, located in Minato, based solely on the views it provided of the city at night, and naturally, with Satoru being who he was, they ended up with the absolute best the building had to offer, right at the very top on the 45th floor.

It had already come fully furnished at the time they had first moved in, but over the course of their almost four year residency, they had slowly replaced everything with pieces that were more suited to their own tastes and preferences.

That was one thing that he loved so much about Satoru, despite the apartment being in his name and the money from his monthly stipends paying for everything they had, his boyfriend never made him feel less than for not being able to contribute more than his ability to cook and help clean. Satoru always told him that the money was just as much his, and had even gone so far as to get Suguru's name put on the account and debit/credit cards of his very own so he never had to ask for money.

Satoru, for all his childish tendencies and spoiled entitlement, saw the two of them as equal partners in their relationship, and did everything he possibly could to show him that at every opportunity.

But the greatest gift of all, besides just being in his life, had been in the form of his college expenses.

Satoru had always been destined to attend his parents alma mater, the University of Tokyo, but for Suguru, with his poorer background and lack of financial resources, despite his excellent grades and a long list of extracurriculars that had earned him a full scholarship to the elite high school they had both attended, the prestigious university had always felt more like a far off and unattainable dream as he'd sent in his application for it, and half a dozen other more affordable and realistic schools.

Schools that were far enough away that it would have seen him and Satoru separated and likely to break up.

So when, mere days after his parents' funeral, Satoru had expressed a keen desire to pay for his tuition entirely from his own pocket, just to help him achieve his dreams and keep them from being separated, Suguru had known then and there that the white haired young man was the one for him.

It wasn't about the money though, Suguru had never given a single thought to asking his, admittedly very wealthy boyfriend, for financial assistance. It was Satoru's genuine desire to help him and not lose each other that had cemented it in his mind that they were it for one another; that, come hell or high water, he would fight tooth and nail to keep what they had, and Satoru had been more that eager to share the sentiment.

And now, here they were, making what might be one of the biggest decisions of their life together as they scrolled through your now deactivated phone, and seething with rage at what they were learning.

“You're reading the same thing as me, right? I’m not misinterpreting this?” Satoru asked through clenched teeth.

Suguru's mood wasn't much better as he took the phone from his boyfriend's tightening grip to read the translated email more closely.

“No, you're not.”

After leaving campus for the day, the first thing they had done was drive to a small electronics store on the outskirts of the city to have your phone deactivated. And thankfully, with the help of a very hefty bribe, the creep working the shady storefront had been more than happy to ignore the questionable ethics of forcefully disconnecting and resetting the password on a phone that clearly didn't belong to either of the men asking for it to be done, and in less than thirty minutes, the two had been on their merry way back home.

It had been Suguru's idea to run everything on your phone through a translator app so they could try and figure out what was going on with you, and while they both felt a mild sense of guilt over snooping so deeply into your private life, they told themselves it was for your own good, that they were only trying to help.

The translations were by no means perfect, but both men were smart enough to read between the lines and mentally fix whatever errors there were in the process, and while your text messages had been a bust, with most of them being fairly quick and concise, your emails proved to be much more fruitful.

And rage inducing…

Satoru had been right in assuming that whatever had brought on your traumatic breakdown had to do with your family, but if what they were reading had any kind of truth to it, which neither of them were truly doubting, then it was so much worse than just someone you knew and loved dying on you.

The email in question was from your mother and read as followed;

(Y/N), I know this will come as a tremendous shock to you whenever you read this, and I need you to understand that me and your father are not making this decision to be cruel to you, but you are no longer a child, you are a grown woman on her own at college, in another country no less, and I feel like I should be allowed to be honest with you about the changes both our lives are about to take.

I think you are well aware by now that having you was not a choice neither I nor your father made willingly, you were a genuine accident, and while we care about you and want you to succeed more than anything, you are grown now and fully capable of no longer needing us. Me and your father put our dreams and desires on hold and raised you for nineteen years, and now it is time for us to be allowed to live our lives how we see fit. We have already sold the house and all but its most important items, all of your belongings have been packed up and moved to a storage unit that I have provided the number for down below. It has been paid off for the next six months while you decide how and what to do with it, but this is the final assistance we will give you, as we need all the money we can spare to begin our new lives elsewhere.

I know this is going to be very hard for you to understand, but your father and I were free spirits before we had you, travel and adventure was our life, and while we did our due diligence upon having you, I won't lie and say that you were our greatest joy. Having to be tied down to one place for so long in order to give you the stability you required, it killed us a little inside with each year that passed, and now that we are finally free, we feel it is best we no longer keep in contact with you going forward. It will only serve to remind us of a time we no longer want to think about, and it will only give you false hope in the end that things could go back to your perceived version of normal, and that is not fair to any of us.

We will be replacing our phones and numbers at the end of the week, so feel free to call us anytime between now and then if you have anything to say or add.

And please, take care of yourself and live your life to the fullest.

That was where the email ended.

It had been sent less than 24 hours ago, and a quick check of your call log showed them that your parents were indeed the last people you had tried calling, your mother having been the one to finally pick up and respond to your, now understandably, very frantic calls earlier in the storage room.

“What kind of sorry excuse for a mother would do this to their own child?” Satoru asked, his voice as cold and icy as his eyes and hair. “My parents were shit at being parents, and even they would have never done something as cruel and heartless as this.”

Suguru nodded in complete agreement as he reread the words on the screen again for a third time, and had to fight down every urge he had to punch this awful woman's number into his own phone and give her a piece of his mind.

“The only kind of people who could do this with as little remorse as she seems to have, are the kind that should have never been allowed to conceive in the first place.” The dark haired man responded, and draped an arm over his loves shoulders for comfort.

The two sat in silence for a long while after that, slowly processing everything they had learned, and in that time, Satoru had opened up your photo gallery for them to look through, idly scrolling through picture after picture, wanting to understand you further and gain insight into who you were. They started from the oldest ones at the very top, which seemed to date back three years, and while you seemed more interested in taking pictures of other people and the things and places around you, when a photo of yourself did eventually pop up every now and then, it always blindsided then how joyful and happy you seemed, especially in contrast with how they had seen you earlier, so sad and broken.

“So, what do we do now, Suguru?”

Suguru sighed, having known they would eventually have to discuss this.

“I know we were mostly just curious to find out what was the cause of her breakdown earlier, but now that we know the whole story, I don't think I can just leave this situation alone.” He said, and felt Satoru relax beside him, that was enough to tell him that his partner felt the same as him.

“Normally, I'd say that destiny and fate can suck my fat cock, but I don't feel like it was just mere coincidence that led to us being in that storage room with her today, it was definitely something more.” Satoru said, his confidence returning in full force as he stared down at a picture of your bright and smiling face, wishing more than anything that they could see it in person. “So who better to help a poor damsel in distress than the two best equipped guys in the city; we have the money, the means, and the time to show her were on her side.”

“I couldn't have said it better myself.” Suguru chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Now the only question is how do we proceed and make it happen?”

Satoru flashed him that signature too confident grin as he leaned back into his arms and pulled out his own phone.

“Don't worry, I got us covered on that front.” He said, scrolling through his minimal contacts to find the one he needed. “She might not figure it out right away, but our girl isn't going to know what to do with herself once she realizes she's got two knights in shining armor looking out for her.”

I've recently gotten really into JJK and since I'm not really feeling the motivation to write for any of my other fics at the moment, here is the newest idea that is rotting my brain from the inside out.

Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

And as always, I want to give a BIG thank you to my amazing friend @talpup for all the brainstorming and encouragement on these stories! I’m sure I would have given up on this blog a while ago if it wasn’t for all of their help. I highly encourage anyone who takes the time to read this to go over to their page or their AO3 account under the same name and check out their works, especially Chaos and Erase The Shadow. They are two of my favorite BNHA fics of ALL TIME! And who has also started their own Yandere!Overhaul fic called Crossroads and is set in a 1920′s prohibition style era, it’s amazing and you need to check it out!

#18+ONLY #MINORS DNI #Like Hoarded Gold #yandere!suguru/satoru #fem!reader #yandere!suguru/satoru x fem!reader #geto suguru #gojo satoru #original female character #no curses au #college setting #light stalking #light smut #typical yandere behavior #yandere jjk

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iliveiloveiwrite · 9 months

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By My Side // A.B.

Request: Could I have something fluffy? I’m think maybe the reader is from a lower class and is married to Anthony and she’s worried about not being a good enough viscountess. They’re getting ready for their engagement ball and Anthony gives her a pep talk? You’re the best!! - @whovianwholikesgirls

A/N: I’m sorry it’s taken so long to get to it, my love! But here it is, I’m sorry it isn’t longer - I hope you like it!!

Warnings: feelings of insecurity, worries, anxieties, lots of fluff and comfort, kissing, established relationship,

Word Count: less than 1k

Your hands couldn’t stop shaking. The nerves that had risen steadily all day were finally making themselves known in the tremor affecting your hands.

Exhaling shakily, you do your best to fasten the clasp of your necklace. A gorgeous piece, given to you by Anthony’s mother. The emeralds are only further accentuated by the champagne of your gown.

A further sigh of frustration leaves you as you fail once more in fastening the necklace.

“Let me,” A gentle voice cuts in, taking the necklace from your hands before you launch it across the room in despair. You meet the kind and caring gaze of your soon to be mother in law; her smile is comforting as she fiddles with the piece of jewellery.

“I thought I could do it,” You murmur, “But I can’t get my hands to stop shaking.”

“Nerves,” Violet says, smiling wider as she clasps the necklace and smooths her hands over your shoulders.

“I think it’s more than that,” You whisper, feeling the familiar burn of tears clog your throat. “I don’t think I can go out there and face all those people, whispering about Anthony’s choice in bride.”

Violet frowns. “My dear, whatever has brought this on?”

You blink against the rush of tears. “The closer we get to the wedding, the more it becomes clear just how lacking I am in class politics, gossip and graces. I don’t want Anthony to regret his choice in bride.”

Violet nods, taking the words to heart. “My dear, I shall not be a moment. Stay here and try to calm yourself whilst I make it all better.”

A watery but grateful smile crosses your face as you watch the beloved matriarch leave the room, the door clicking gently shut behind her. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, doing your best to calm yourself by trying not to think of the gathering crowd in the ballroom downstairs. Each one of them waiting to catch a glimpse of you - to make their judgement; to be judge, jury and executioner all in one.

You aren’t alone with your thoughts for long. The door opens once more, however it isn’t Violet that walks through the door.

It’s Anthony.

“Darling,” He greets, his voice concerned as he crosses the room to you.

“Anthony.”

“Mother told me. Darling, how could you think those things?”

Tears cling to your lashes as you face your beloved fiancé. Anthony kneels before you; his hands gripping your knees, his face the perfect picture of worry.

You sniffle. “It’s all I’ve heard since we announced our engagement. In the modiste, in the tearooms, when we promenade… It is so tiring. I love you beyond all reason, but I cannot help but worry whether this is a decision you’ll come to regret.”

The words leave you in a torrent; rushing out of you so quickly you barely have time to take a breath. The words get stuck in your throaty as you catch the devastation that passes over Anthony’s face.

“My love,” He whispers, “Had I known the full extent, I never would have organised tonight.”

“No,” You argue. “I’m glad you have, I love any moment I get to spend with your family but I worry for the impact on you.”

Anthony’s hands leave your knees to grasp your face. His eyes fix onto yours. “I don’t give a damn about the impact on me.” He all but spits. “That out there? It’s all pomp and fake, but what we have… the love we share and the adoration, that’s what’s matters.”

“I love you.”

“I know you do,” Anthony breathes. “I love you too… endlessly. You are who I want; I want my future to be utterly entwined with yours. I want the mornings and the evenings and the nights. Your class status means nothing to me. You will be a perfect wife and an incredible viscountess. I don’t care about the ton, I only care about you and how you feel and what you think.”

The man you love so entirely pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly. His lips seek out yours, kissing you thoroughly, pouring all of his emotions into the kiss. There was no denying his love and adoration for you now; there was no denying how well you fit, how perfect you moulded to the other. There would be no-one else for him as there would be no-one else for you.

Anthony pulls away, leaving you breathless as he places kiss after kiss to your cheek.

“Thank you,” You whisper, “Thank you for loving me.”

“Thank you for loving me,” He responds in earnest. Anthony kisses you again; a short, sweet kiss that has a smile crossing your face. His thumb brushes your cheek, relieved to see a genuine smile on your face.

“Do you feel ready to face the crowd waiting downstairs?” He asks quietly; lips brushing your hair.

“With you by my side, I can face anything.”

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony x reader #anthony bridgerton fanfiction #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton imagines #fluff #anthony bridgerton fluff #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton imagine

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wandasgf · 3 months

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II. DARK LEGION. mdni. 18+. series masterlist

pairings: wanda maximoff + mutant!reader

summary: you and wanda talk... kind of

warnings: slight violence

wc: 1.8k~

< previous chapter | next chapter >

It’s a stupid question, Wanda knows that. Of course you know about the prophecy, why else would you be here? There is no way that you just happened to show up out of nowhere without knowing. You nod, and you’re happy your hands are occupied in your pockets to stop them from twitching or fidgeting, you haven’t had this many eyes on you in, well, a while. “Agatha spoke to me about it briefly,” you pause for a second, “but I’m not entirely familiar with what it seems to be talking about.”

You hope Wanda understands what you mean when you say that without having to say it explicitly. You’re familiar with who Chthon is, but what you don’t know is what exactly the Darkhold means by Wanda being ‘born from Chthon’ and simply because of the nature of the God, you’re not sure she would be willing to discuss it so openly and in front of everyone. You’d been thinking about it for a combined few hours now, trying to figure out what exactly is meant by the word ‘born’. You were actually largely confused by the fact that this prophecy was in the Darkhold at all. That, however, was something you could think about later.

Agatha cuts in before Wanda can speak and effectively seals both of your fates, “Wanda, dear, why don’t you take our Hunter to the library? You two can discuss the prophecy while the rest of us come up with a plan. Maybe some of Tony’s gadgets can help track down Lilith.” She smiles after she’s done and you both know you can’t say no because it wasn’t really a question. You should just leave, really, go back to that middle of nowhere town and forget all of this even happened, but you still can’t shake that nagging feeling in the back of your head. The one that tells you this is something you have to do whether you want to or not.

It’s quiet as the two of you walk to the library, the only sound being your footsteps on the floor and the occasional bird chirping outside when you walk past an open window. It’s not an entirely awkward silence, it’s just that neither of you are particularly willing to start a conversation. You’re focused too much on trying to remember exactly where the library is just in case it becomes useful in the future, and Wanda’s trying not to focus on the way her heart speeds up when you're near.

In order to ignore the way your own heart seems to be beating out of your chest, something that hasn’t happened in a long long time, you attempt to make small talk. “What,” you pause for just a second, trying to figure out which question you want to ask, “did Tony mean when he said ‘new’ loverboy? And what’s so funny about me not being a boy?” It comes out a little awkwardly, not used to talking with people lately. And, admittedly, you realize you sound a little childish asking this particular question and something tugs at the nerves in your forearms when you do. It gives you a feeling you’d rather not think about.

Wanda merely glances at you, “I don’t believe that has anything to do with the prophecy, does it?”

You inwardly wince. Wrong question to ask, then. Your people skills clearly need work, but Wanda is also clearly guarded and doesn’t seem to want you around. She’d sounded unhappy, but cordial at best when she greeted you merely ten minutes ago. You can’t blame her, though, you’re not that happy to be here either. However, you can be cordial, too. There’s no need to act familiar with her, because even if it feels like you are, you’re not. “Of course, my apologies. That was rude of me to ask.. I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped.”

It really is none of your business what Wanda’s past relationships were or if she had any at all, you’re not sure why that was one of the first questions you asked, it wouldn’t usually be. What you do know is that the pulling in your nerves has shifted to a pulling at your veins that spreads through your body and you’re certain that it has nothing to do with Wanda now. You try not to let it show, but something outside of the compound is beckoning you towards it, calling for every essence of your being.

Your head snaps to the side and quicker than Wanda can even open her mouth to ask why you’ve stopped walking, your dagger is unsheathed and lodged into the chest of some… thing, pinning it against the wall and watching as the holes where its eyes would be glow green before they go dim and the creature turns to ash with a shrill screech. You’re not sure what it is and neither is Wanda, but the pulling in your veins has stopped and you feel the tension leave your body.

“What was that?” Wanda’s eyes have widened slightly as she looks between you and the pile of ash on the ground. “I…” you’re hesitant to say it, not wanting to face the facts, “believe it was sent by my mother.” You re-sheath the knife when you’re sure that was the only one. Wanda hadn’t even noticed you had it, otherwise she might have been more hesitant than she already was to go to the library alone with you. Even though she has no reason to suspect you’ll hurt her. In fact, part of her knows that you would never.

“What a—” Wanda thinks of what to say, not wanting to say anything to offend you, but knowing a thing or two about bad ‘parents,’ “nice welcome present.” She settles with, and you actually laugh a little. It’s quiet and it’s mixed with a bit of disbelief, but it’s a laugh and Wanda almost doesn’t hate the way it makes her feel warm inside. “Yeah, it almost makes up for the missed birthdays.”

The rest of the walk to the library is quiet and uneventful. Since there was only the one creature in the hallway and you couldn’t sense any more, the two of you decided you’d just tell Agatha after she was done whatever it was she was doing and perhaps she could tell you what it was. It wasn’t quite so tense with you and Wanda now, a little joke goes a long way, but neither of you attempted to make any small talk afterwards. You don’t feel the apprehension radiating off of Wanda anymore and she doesn’t feel the need to run away radiating off of you.

The library is nice if not a little dusty, as if the Avengers don’t make use of it nearly as much as they should. If you had a library like this you would be in it all the time. The bookshelves are a deep brown color and you run your fingertip across the length of one of the smaller shelves. Real wood. The room itself is huge and the walls are lined with bookshelves. There’s space in the center of the room with a large wooden table and a few chairs, but the rest of the space is filled with rows of bookshelves. You wonder just how many topics are covered in all of these books and if any of them have anything to do with what’s going on right now.

Your fingertips graze the spines of a couple of books as you make your way to the table, stopping to peer around the room. Wanda doesn’t speak, just observes as you take in the compound’s library. She had been enamored with it when she first moved into the compound and it seems to have the same effect on you. She’s noticed that the older books are the ones that catch your eye and for reasons she’s largely ignoring, files that detail away for later.

You reach into your back pocket and grab the envelope, taking it out and setting it on the table without really looking. It slides a little when it hits the wood before stopping. You don’t speak at first and neither does Wanda, waiting for you to figure out what you want to do, watching the wheels turn in your head as you look up at the ceiling. You take a breath before you look at the witch. There’s not exactly any point in keeping secrets, you decide.

“You know, I wasn’t going to come. When Agatha sent me that letter,” you gesture to the wrinkled envelope on the table, “I was fully prepared to ignore it. After all, it’s not exactly custom to agree to help someone you haven’t seen or spoken to in fifteen years, but there was something nagging me in the back of my mind, telling me I had to at least figure out what it was she wanted. But now that I’m here… I don’t think that’s what it was at all.”

Wanda’s breath catches because she knows what you’re going to say next and she doesn’t know if she wants you to or not. She feels it, too, the pull in her chest, and it’s like she can almost see the energy that connects you to her and her to you. She doesn’t entirely hate your presence anymore and it’s scary. It’s scary because it’s only been about 30 minutes and she can’t tell if these are her own feelings or if she just thinks she’s feeling this way because she’s supposed to. It’s scary because no one had ever made her feel anything more than indifference in less than a week. Up until she’d met you, hell, up until ten minutes ago, she had sworn to herself that she wouldn’t want anything to do with you, but now that you’re here she doesn’t know if she can ignore that pull. It’s almost infuriating. It was something she was going to ignore until you brought it up, but now that you have—

“I still don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing here, but,” your voice pulls Wanda back to the present and she knows she has to stop you before you continue. “Don’t… please,” it’s a plea because she knows once you say those words there’s no taking them back, once the universe knows, there’s no taking it back, “I know, but it hasn’t even been a day and I,” her next words make bile rise up in her throat, “I have Vision.”

#alice's series !#alice's fics !#wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #scarlet witch x you #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch imagine

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verycharismaticdragon · 8 months

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@mandlien: Op where is the essay 👀 @latitudeoctopus: An essay I would like to see 🙏

Glad u asked! <-guy who was totally angling for someone to ask

OG post this continues from, for those just tuning in now:

actually SQQ's first encounter with LQG perfectly illustrates which of SY's idiosyncrasies perfectly converged to make him absolutely obsessed with Binghe, in this essay i will

So, to start with, the explanation for why I think this scene in particular is more illuminating than all of SQQ's interactions with actual LBH.

That's because there's not a single scene in the novel where his interactions with LBH-the-person are not colored by pre-existing bias of already being obsessed with LBH-the-character. Like, consider the scene where he appraises Shen Qingqiu's looks, and finishes it off with:

He still couldn’t compare to Luo Binghe. (vol.1, ch.1)

despite not having seen Luo Binghe in person yet. But no, he's already convinced his beloved blorbo is of course The Handsomest Ever!

Simply speaking, we never encounter Shen Yuan pre-Binghe Syndrome (when instead of brain there's binghe). So it's difficult to tell whether any particular way he thinks or feels in Binghe’s presence is the standard for him, or owed to the fact that he already likes Binghe in at least one way.

But the same can not be said of Liu Qingge: while SY did have some interest in his character, he didn’t really think of him before encountering him in Lingxi Caves. Plus, unlike Binghe who seems to have fully aligned with SQQ’s expectations of him, LQG had given him a little shock — which prompted some re-evaluation of his prev thoughts on SQQ's part.

(cont. under cut)

Now is a good time to mention that I arrived at thinking about this scene while considering Shen Yuan's relationship with toxic masculinity — and remembering I jotted down 'Shen Yuan's fascination with masculinity' in my reread notes for this scene.

[Bai Zhan Peak] was the most warlike of Cang Qiong Mountain's branches, as well as the branch with the greatest martial ability. Every single generation's Bai Zhan Peak Lord was a world-class swordmaster, a victor of countless battles, an undefeated legend. How hot-blooded—how dashing! Male readers always fervently admired strong characters. Even though Liu Qingge never officially debuted on page, he hadn't lacked for fans, and Shen Yuan had been especially fascinated with him. In his headcanon, Liu Qingge had been a sharp and manly man, powerful and magnificent. A war god, right?! (vol.1, ch.2)

So, Shen Yuan’s fascination with Liu Qingge’s character — or rather his headcanon version of it — is about Liu Qingge being someone who (in SY’s mind) embodies masculine qualities. And what qualities are those? From this section, being “strong” (has to be physically powerful) and “undefeated” (can’t be a loser) — yeah, pretty standard toxic masc starting kit.

And something of interest here: though SQQ describes it mostly as his own feelings, even in this excerpt, he slips in a “male readers always [...] admired” — which, when considering everything else we know about his relationship to masculinity, kind of gives off an insecurity vibe. He seems to be either trying to justify his own feelings (i.e., ‘other men feel the same way, i’m in-group not out-group, i’m not failing at being a man by feeling this way [admiring another man]’), or else emulating other male fans and trying to convince himself he relates to the story the same way they do (i.e., ‘male readers admire strong characters and im a man therefore i definitely also admire the same things’).

Speaking of emulating other male fans, there’s another quality that SY seems to associate with masculinity, this one not very related to Liu Qingge — though SQQ does make a mental detour into it in the same scene, when talking about other Peaks.

Yeah, when he mentions Xian Shu, and the fact that the popularity of self-insert erotic/lewd fics about Xian Shu "compared to that of the original work” in PIDW fandom, or possibly even in general on ‘Zhongdian’ (since afaik you can publish fanfiction on Chinese webnovel sites alongside original works, you just have to tag it as such). In other words, among male fans.

But we know SY doesn’t like sex scenes, right? Hell, his favorite wife is Liu Mingyan at least in part because she doesn’t have sex scenes:

There was one more appeal factor. Liu Mingyan was the only female character for whom Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write detailed sex scenes. (vol.1, ch.2)

Of course… that’s what SQQ says in his head where nobody can hear him. We actually have evidence of him singing a different tune when among other fans:

Most of the female protagonists are stupid sexy lamps, and the male lead doesn't even bed Liu Mingyan, the only breath of fresh air? He doesn't bed the rightful empress? Are you fucking kidding me? (vol.4, ch.26, part 1)

(speaking of, this is why ‘peerless cucumber is SY’s true self’ takes baffle me. his toxicmascsona is his true self, really?)

So SY has another qualifier for ‘manly man’ in his head: being sexual (of course, in a straight way). Which is not something that comes naturally to him, as evidenced by him cringing away from any actual action even when he tries to emulate the thought pattern, e.g.:

Qi Qingqi? She was indeed slightly junior to him, and their first meeting...he'd long forgotten how it went. "Often together" wasn't quite right, though. Perhaps he at times dared to think about going to Xian Shu Peak so they could be "often together," but while he had the wicked intentions, he lacked the courage required to follow through—and he could never commit an act as depraved as stalking. (vol.4, ch.23)

Riiiight, SQQ, you totally have those 'wicked intentions' that you merely can't follow through on because you just invented reasons not to.

But that does give us an image of SY’s ideal of masculinity. Extremely powerful, undefeatable, and hypersexual… yeah no points for guessing who. I’m pretty sure SQQ even directly equates Bing-ge with masculinity somewhere, I just can’t remember the exact spot. And he also believes that any man should definitely want to be in Bing-ge’s place, like for example here:

Every man dreamed of being caught between an angel and a devil. To watch them jealously vie with each other over him one moment, then risk life and limb for his sake in the next—that was the highest, most sacred, perverted fantasy of every male organism. (vol.1, ch.2)

…though I must note, once again, “every man”, “every male organism” — but does SQQ actually feel the same way? I think that the answer is he thinks that he should, and is trying to convince himself that he does.

Which must be difficult considering he finds men more attractive than women, returning back to that scene with Liu Qingge.

In any other state, Shen Qingqiu might have declared, "What a beautiful man!" (vol.1, ch.2)

Really bestie? You would've declared it? Because I don't see you show the same enthusiasm about women. In fact, you usually jump right into how they were described in the novel, as if you don't have your own opinion.

Now, I must note that I personally don’t think finding someone attractive equals actually being attracted to them. But this does imply which way SQQ's tastes veer. In fact, we can even see that he has a type. First, he describes LQG's face as "as beautiful as a fine woman's"; then adds:

This was clearly the face of a charming young master who arranged flowers and plucked farewell willow branches! (vol.1, ch.2)

Of course, if we are talking about charming young masters with feminine looks, their bearing that of a classic Chinese gentleman (warrior-scholar ideal who’d ‘pluck farewell willow branches’)...

That firm yet humble countenance, demonstrating his noble and unyielding spirit. That pencil-straight back and stance, evincing a proud core that would rather break than bend! (vol.1, ch.1)

[SQQ] saw a glimpse of the future Luo Binghe's unique grace, that of "eyes like cold stars, a soft and radiant smile, with muted words and quiet laughter." (vol.1, ch.1)

In truth, deep down, Bing-ge's fair and clean pretty-boy type didn't really suit the tastes of "Great Master" Airplane Flying Towards the Sky. He had only assigned this sort of configuration to the protagonist to meet his stallion hardware specifications. The art of growing stallions was grounded in science, and the research was clear: women preferred men who looked cultured, pretty, and even a bit soft and feminine. (vol.4, ch.26, part 2)

…there’s no question who is superlative in SQQ’s heart. To boot, he doesn’t even realize that he’s biased about LBH’s attractiveness, as we can see from Airplane-bro’s musings above. So that’s Cucumber-bro’s type: cultured, pretty, a bit feminine.

See, a fun little discrepancy here: what SQQ sees as a masculine ideal and therefore can admire plainly — again, powerful, undefeatable, and hypersexual, — and what he finds attractive in a man, under all those layers of denial, are two pretty different things.

Liu Qingge, despite his appearance unveiling a side of both to us, doesn’t actually fully embody either type: on the masculinity side, he is missing the hypersexuality, on the attractiveness side, his looks fit but his bearing doesn’t match.

But you know who hits all of SY’s qualifications on both counts?.. yeah, once again no points for guessing, it stars with "Bing" and ends with "ge".

So: the source of Shen Yuan’s obsession with LBH-the-character is the intersection of those two factors. Like you know that old wlw joke “I can’t tell if I wanna be her or date her”? Thats Shen Yuan with Luo Binghe, but, yknow, unconsciously. He admires LBH as an epitome of masculinity, an image of a Perfect Male to strive for; he also very much finds him attractive in a gay way.

In fact, I would even say that an important component of Binghe brainrot is that he is an acceptable target for admiration. How can SY be accused of being gay over liking a horny stallion novel? So it’s totally normal that he thinks of Binghe a lot, obviously that’s just because he looks up to him! Because Binghe is such a perfect iteration of a male stallion protagonist! Who wouldn’t want to be in his place, thinks Shen Yuan, never ever having imagined being in Binghe’s place even once. Ofc that’s only because Binghe got insane game though! Shen Yuan couldn’t hope to compare. LBH is just so admirable and sexy,, for the wives of course, the wives find him sexy, not Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan is just stating facts— etcetcetc.

Point is, LBH is a man that Shen Yuan can like without shame, because he has a whole bag of above-the-board reasons to prove that he's not liking him the wrong way. A perfect target of convergence for Shen Yuan’s conscious and unconscious thoughts (and desires).

And this is how SY ended up with the years-long hyperfix we see in the beginning of the novel.

#shen qingqiu #shen yuan #bingqiu #svsss #svsss meta #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain's self-saving system #mxtx #danmei novels

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nalyra-dreaming · 3 months

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I enjoy your blog and I’m not trying to be argumentative; just some friendly debate, but I notice you and Virginia both frequently reduce the entire Antoinette ordeal to Louis’ feeding habits and Lestat’s need for attention and adoration. Don’t you think Lestat had to have at least a little love for Antoinette? He had to love her on some level not to kill her right off the bat. This is apparent in the scene before Louis is playing cards before Doris tells him Jonah is there, Lestat is standing up close to the stage, completely entranced watching Antoinette perform like there is no one else in the room. Louis isn’t even present to make jealous. He slept with her and didn't kill her before Loustat was having serious problems like lack of intimacy. He stayed with her just as long as he stayed with Louis. I’m sorry, but I don’t think that man ever had any intention of being in a monogamous relationship.

Hey nonny!

(All good, you can be argumentative, as long as you're kind it's all fine, I just won't accept hate or insults anymore^^, hope that makes sense! Also, I really don't see that as argumentative^^)

I think @virginiaisforvampires and I just ... shorten the Antoinette discussion at times (by now) because it's been... a theme.

Like, the fandom latched onto the jealousy angle so massively, the asks wrt her were so numerous, the human cheating AUs on Ao3 so prevalent... the vampiric aspect seems to be often overlooked.

I think you're referring to my ask with the open relationship?

Because of course Antoinette was more.

(this is long, so the rest under the cut:)

She became more when he did not kill her as a feeding fling. (And I still stand by the fact that they must have had a lot of feeding flings, for example Louis is not really taken aback by soldiers in their bedroom - the same bedroom he gets so sharp about with Antoinette, which is another detail.)

So yes, Lestat apparently slept with her and didn't kill her. We don't get to see it, but it is insinuated.

But there is a lot more to Antoinette, and that is why some think she might show up again later. I am not sure if you're familiar with "the musician" from IWTV, "Antoine" from the later books?

Let me recap:

In IWTV we have the unnamed "musician". Louis never bothers to find out his name, even though it is clear that Lestat turns him. That unnamed musician then gets into the crossfire of Claudia's attempt on Lestat's life, and Louis... forgets about him. But he did know about him from the beginning:

"Lestat had a musician friend in the Rue Dumaine. We had seen him at a recital in the home of a Madame LeClair, who lived there also, which was at that time an extremely fashionable street; and this Madame LeClair, with whom Lestat was also occasionally amusing himself, had found the musician a room in another mansion nearby, where Lestat visited him often. I told you he played with his victims, made friends with them, seduced them into trusting and liking him, even loving him, before he killed. So he apparently played with this young boy, though it had gone on longer than any other such friendship I had ever observed." [..] "I could not tell whether he had actually become fond of a mortal in spite of himself or was simply moving towards a particularly grand betrayal and cruelty. Several times he’d indicated to Claudia and me that he was headed out to kill the boy directly, but he had not. And, of course, I never asked him what he felt because it wasn’t worth the great uproar my question would have produced. Lestat entranced with a mortal! He probably would have destroyed the parlor furniture in a rage."

(Interesting tidbit about the rage, which they picked up for the show!)

Louis even encounters Antoine, has a bit of a discussion with him after the initial attack on Lestat:

‘What is it?’ I asked him. ‘What did you need from him? I’m sure he would want me to...’ “ ‘He was my friend!’ He turned on me suddenly, his voice dropping with repressed outrage.

This last bit is important, for the later books, most importantly for "Prince Lestat", which we know Rolin takes from. Because in that book, in chapter 7, we find out what happened to "the musician", Antoine, after that fateful night, when Rue Royale burned (in the book).

Because Antoine did not burn to death (in the show, likely: Louis and Claudia did not know to scatter the ashes), and he survives, hideously burned, needing decades to heal. Lestat reunites with him before he chases after Louis and Claudia (to Europe).

When Antoine later tells of his own story, he says this:

“He was my friend, Lestat,” Antoine confessed. “He told me about his lover, Nicolas, who had been a violinist. He said he couldn’t speak his heart to his little family, to Louis or Claudia, that they would laugh at him. So he spoke his heart only to me.”

There is a LOT in that little paragraph. A lot that fits with what we know from the show, too.

Louis (in the show) tells of Lestat saying that "Antoinette fortifies him against them". Antoinette became more than a passing interest, a passing feeding fling, true, because Lestat can confide in her, can be himself with her, especially later, when things between him and Louis take on a strain. But he never leaves Louis, and I think that is often overlooked - (s)he was never a real threat to Louis, nor Claudia. Lestat left Antoine behind when he goes after them, to try to save them.

Louis on the show makes it seem as if Antoinette was that major threat. And the show (of course^^), sharpened that threat by making Antoine a woman, a white woman, whose very presence represented what Louis could not be in their relationship at the time, namely an official partner.

Louis uses the focus on Antoinette and what she represents to overshadow other things that coincide with the affair. He does the same later, when they are threatened, to shift the focus to Lestat's paranoia. It's clever, because it's built on truth, a "look at my right hand, not at my left" approach. But the real story is much more difficult than that.

And I think that goes for Antoine(tte) as well.

Since Rolin is specifically taking from "Prince Lestat" as well there is no way in hell he has somehow missed reading chapter 7, or has missed Antoine in the later books/chapters.

I for one wouldn't be surprised if she shows up at the trial - or in Dubai. Maybe she's that interior designer, who knows that Louis is missing the natural world....

I don't know. We'll see. But I doubt that the jealousy angle is all there is to it. There are too many discrepancies, even down to the make-up they used for her (which is its own meta). Lestat may have very well loved her, albeit differently than he loves Louis.

As for the monogamous relationship(s)...

Nonny, forgive me, but these are not humans. They are vampires.

They hunt, and kill humans, for food and pleasure. They play with their food, like other predators in our world do, too. They are also inherently hedonistic, looking for pleasure. (Maybe) Especially Lestat is trying to drown himself in the pleasurable things at times, for reasons that the show will still get to. Since the show explicitly added sex to the mix that desire is of course expressed in the hunt for pleasure, too.

But totally apart from "food", and sex... these vampires are a mess, relationship-wise.

When Lestat and Louis are "married" in the later books as Jacob calls it (I bet they'll make that literal in the show^^), that doesn't mean that they don't still love others. Have loved others. Will love others. They are beyond the need to narrow down their love though. And they are "official partners" then.

But it's... a knot of relationships and history.

Some of these people are truly immortal. Like, can not be killed anymore.

Imagine living with that fact (it maybe most famously sends Lestat reeling in "The tale of the Body Thief", for example).

Imagine loving with that fact. Imagine having the time.

#Anonymous #asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #antoinette brown #book quotes #prince lestat #antoine

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oneeyedgrimes · 6 days

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Beat This World.

Summary: you were inlove with Daryl. you had been for a while but you hid it telling yourself you’d tell him one day, one day too late.

Tw: major character death, angst, pinning, all that good stuff.

ELLO TUMBLR This is my first time writing here I just needed to write for my husband because if I didn’t I would COMBUST. this DEFINITELY isn’t proof read as I started this at 2 and it’s 4 now so if there’s any errors don’t be afraid to let me know, constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated, enjoy loves!

You had always noticed Daryl. Since the day you stumbled upon the quarry, you’d been by yourself for who knows how long and when you finally found the group, he was the first person you laid your eyes on, pointing his bow ready to shoot and end your life at anytime and the only thing you could think was how pretty his eyes were in the sunlight.

From then on you found yourself trying to get to know him more, sitting next to him when the group would cook the squirrels he found, trying to get him to teach you how to hunt. The two of you even found yourselves up late unable to sleep and you would find eachother and just sit and look at the stars and that was all the both of you needed, you’d barely speak on nights like that you’d just soaked up each others presence.

By the time the group found Alexandria you and Daryl’s relationship was better than ever, though with the recent loss of Beth after just finding out she had been alive, watching her die infront of him Daryl had been more closed off, but you understood, ofcourse you did, so you gave him space, made yourself busy working on things around Alexandria.

But soon distance became barely seeing each other, and that only made your heart ache for him even more, you so desperately wanted your bestfriend back even if that was all it would be, even if you wanted him to yourself, even if you did want to feel the feeling of his lips on yours, you would take what you could get.

You’d finally found Daryl sitting on carol’s porch sharpening his knife, you stopped just before you came into his view and just looked at him, seeing him up close after not seeing him for so long, it felt like you’d fallen inlove with him again right there and it hurt.

“ Daryl can we talk please? I get it if you’re too busy but I really just wanted to talk to yo-“ Daryl looked up at her the slightest bit of a smirk sitting on his lips before he cut off your rambling “ hey, I ain’t ever ta’ busy for ya’ wha’s up” Daryl’s attention was fully on you and now you were nervous.

“ I miss you. I’ve barely seen you since we got here at this place and everything’s so weird and these people look at me like I’m some kind of alien and I know you’re working and doing things to keep people safe and this may be selfish of me but I miss you and I want you to be around more” Tears prickled at your eyes, whether it was from frustration or genuine sadness you didn’t know. Daryl looked up at you and and sat the knife down and brought his finger up motioning you to come towards him

“ c’mere,” You looked at him and slowly walked over to the porch sitting next to him blinking away the tears now feeling embarrassed you let your emotions get the best of you. “ why ain’t ya’ tell me ya been feelin’ like tha’ i woulda’ done som’ ‘bout it” Daryl guided your head to his shoulder, his voice a soft tune he only ever used with you. “ because i.. you were busy and I didn’t wanna bother you and I just..”

You trailed off going silent realizing you’d almost said something you’d probably regret, and Daryl just pulled you in closer wrapping his arm around you “ I’m sorry I ain’t been checkin’ on ya, I’m gon’ try an’ be around more, can’t promise nuthin’ but I’m gon’ try”. You got your friend back, and that was more than enough for you, even if your heart screamed to tell him what you really want.

It was a few weeks later, and Daryl did what he said he would, he was around a lot more and he kept you company whenever he could, and you were the happiest you could be. You were both sitting on Carol’s porch eating whatever cookies she made that day when Rick walked up to the both of you asking if you guys were up for a run with a few others from the group, you agreed and went to get ready.

As you walked inside your house you told yourself you’d tell Daryl how you felt when the two of you were back from the run, you thought of how you were going to do it as you finished putting on your boots and grabbing your bag putting a few water bottles in your bag. Daryl came and got you walking with you to the gate helping you into the car and you laughed looking at him thru the window “ thank you mister strong man” He looked at you with a straight face though you could see the tiniest smirk on his face “ stop.” He told you as he got into the car nodding to Rick as he pulled out of the gate.

Everything was going fine, they found a few cans of food and some bottles of body wash in a nearby store, you turned your back for just two seconds, you saw a toy you thought Judith would like and you smiled and reached on your tippy toes to grab it, at the same time a walker turned the corner from behind the shelf and fell onto you knocking you down to the floor, you reached for your knife but couldn’t reach it, atleast not before the walker sunk its teeth into the side of your hip causing you to let out a scream as you finally got your knife out of the holster plunging it into the back of the walkers head pushing it off of you as Daryl came running to you.

“ wha’ tha’ hell happened “ Daryl kneeled infront of you he saw the walked beside you and looked back at you all the confusion on his face gone “ you ain’t bit are ya’?” He looked up at you waiting for your answer, his face falling a bit when he saw the tears building in your eyes, his face now filled with worry as he looked down seeing your hand covering your side, he gently moved your hand lifting your shirt revealing the bite “ no, no you can’t fuckin’- this ain’t fair! You can’t leave me y/n you can’t” Daryl’s voice became wobbly and his lip quivered, something you had only ever seen a few times “ I’m sorry d, it all happened so fast I couldn’t get my knife out fast enough” You looked at him squeezing your waist tighter, your own lip started to wobble. “ you know what’s funny? I was gonna tell you that I’m inlove with you after we got back from this run, was gonna take you to my house and take you up to my room, and I would let you lay in my lap and run my fingers thru my hair and tell you how I’ve been inlove with you since you held that big crossbow at me” you laughed regretting it after as you started to cough harshly, Daryl just stared at you his eyes wide in shock “ I’ve loved ya for a while y/n a good long while too. Wasted all dis’ time when we coulda’ been ta’gether”You smiled finally letting the tears fall

“ we would’ve been a match made in hell dixon, will you be okay?” You ask him holding his face in your hand that wasn’t covered in blood “ Hell no, I don’ know how i’ma go on without’ ya. “ “ you’re strong I know you are, you’re gonna live for me and you’re gonna be okay I know you will I love you Daryl.” “ I love ya’ too girl.” “ then beat this world for me Dixon”

You smiled at him with the last bit of energy you had before your eyes shut and your movements stop completely, daryl sits there almost as still as your own lifeless body before he pulls out his knife stabbing you in the back of the head and sits with you for a few more seconds before he stands up picking up your body laying you in the back of the car as he calls the rest of the group, and they all see it on his face, so they don’t ask. They have a makeshift funeral and Daryl dressed up in his best button down he has, and when he goes to his room and it’s late at night and it’s quiet and you’re not there to fill the room, he doesn’t cry but he whispers into the air

“I’m gonna beat this goddamn world for you .”

#daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl dixon #daryl x female reader #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixion imagine #x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl x y/n #daryl x you #the walking dead #daryl imagines #Spotify

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agaypanic · 9 months

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The Fella Part 9 (James Maguire X Quinn!Reader)

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Summary: The girls have been waiting for months to see Take That in Belfast. When a polar bear is on the loose and Mary forbids them from going, they have to take matters into their own hands.

A/N: only took a million years but i finally wrote a new part lol BIG thanks to @crumpets-are-better-with-jam for writing out the episode’s script for me, without them I probably would’ve never found the time to be able to write this. Also the word g*psy is censored and used as little as possible because it’s considered a slur but some say that if you say it with the right context it’s ok, but i don’t wanna take any chances, you know?

***

The weekends were always the best part of the week for Y/n. No school or work, no obligations except for church on Sunday, and being able to sleep in late. Y/n wished to be an adult, so her life could be like this every day.

But this was going to be the weekend of all weekends. Months ago, the girls and James scrimped and saved every coin and bill and were able to buy concert tickets to see Take That in Belfast. And today was the day of the concert. The girls sat all squished together on the couch, watching said band on the TV, with James perched on the arm of the sofa, subtly clinging to Y/n. Their relationship was still a secret somehow, today marking their third month together. They were honestly surprised nobody noticed how their affection was more than friendly.

“God Almighty.” Grandpa Joe spoke in horror, glaring at the screen. “I don’t know what the world is coming to. Bloody perverts.”

“You’re overreacting, Da,” Mary said from the kitchen. Joe scoffed in disbelief.

“Overreacting? That lad’s got no trousers on, for Christ’s sake.” Michelle grinned at the detail that had been pointed out.

“He’s wearing too much still, if I’ve anything to say about it.” She muttered to the girls, who giggled apart from James and Clare.

“Why do they keep touching themselves?” Grandpa Joe asked the telly, as if it would provide any answers.

“‘Cause they’re artists, Granda,” Erin said, but he just grumbled.

“Dirty English bastards is what they are.” He turned to look at James. “No offense, son.” Although he didn’t really sound like he cared whether or not he had offended the boy. Y/n patted James’ thigh in comfort as the scene on the TV changed from the girls’ beloved boy band to a news anchor.

“Come on, girls. Time to hit the road here.” Gerry announced as he came in. He gestured at James. “Have they roped you into going as well, son?” Y/n laughed, leaning against James to look at her father.

“Hardly. He’s practically riding Gary Barlow. Aren’t ya, Jamie?” He rolled his eyes at the statement, as if they had had this kind of conversation a hundred times.

“I’m not! I just respect him as a songwriter, that’s all.” Michelle rolled her eyes at him, as if she had also had this kind of conversation a hundred times.

“Aye, dead on, James, so you do.”

“Will we need our passports, Gerry?” Orla asked, giving her lungs a break from blowing on her mother’s spray tan.

“For Belfast? I don’t think so, Love.”

“Belfast?” Joe asked, but was ignored.

“Are we not a bit early, Daddy?” Erin asked, checking the time on the wall.

“It’s a two-hour drive with traffic, love.”

“This thing’s in Belfast?” Sick of not being acknowledged, Grandpa Joe stood from his favorite chair to stand with the girls and Gerry.

“Da, it’s eight hours till the doors open,” Y/n said, almost laughing at her father’s sense of urgency.

“I know. We’re cutting it fine.” He seemed completely serious about the matter, which just made Y/n want to laugh more.

“Belfast?” Joe said again, now effectively catching the room’s attention. “Sure, why didn’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it?”

“Gerry will be with them, Da.” Mary tried to reason, but that just seemed to set him off even more.

“Well, that’s worse. Sure, they hate his kind there.”

“My kind?” Gerry asked, not knowing what Joe could possibly be talking about.

“Pricks.” Y/n laughed, shrinking in her seat when Gerry whipped around to look at his daughter in offense. “Sorry, Daddy.”

“That is enough!” Mary finalized, still working in the kitchen. “They’re going to the concert, Da, and that’s the end of the matter.”

The news switched to another topic again. Something about how a polar bear escaped from Belfast Zoo. Hearing the name, Y/n started to worry.

“Now, will you see sense?” Grandpa Joe asked his daughter, pointing at the TV. Erin snorted.

“Aye, Granda, ‘cause an escaped polar bear’s gonna track us down and kill us. As if Mammy’s bothered by that.” There was a beat of silence, and suddenly, all the girls were panicked.

“Wise up, Mammy!” Y/n squealed frantically, shooting up from her seat on the couch to get a good look at her mother. “As if a polar bear’s gonna rock up a Take That concert!”

“He wouldn’t get a ticket for a start,” Orla added. “They sold out months ago.”

“You’d be surprised, girls,” Mary said.

“The concert’s nowhere near the zoo.” Gerry tried to reason. As usual, Joe countered him.

“But he’s not in the zoo anymore, is he, Simple Simon? He’s sauntering about Belfast without a care in the world!”

“Aye, keep up, Gerry,” Sarah said, blowing on the wet tan that coated her fingers.

“What I’m saying is that it would be quite a lot of ground for him to cover.”

“They’re quick on their feet when they wanna be, love,” Mary said. Y/n sped to her father, grabbing him by the shoulders to make him face her.

“Daddy, please, don’t listen to her.” She pleaded. “We should go now so we’re not late. Please, Da!” Gerry put his hands on his daughter’s wrists, rubbing his thumbs over the joints while giving her a sympathetic look.

“Oh, love, I’m sorry, but I’d rather keep my head.”

“Come on, Mary.” Michelle pleaded with the girl’s mother. “If you don’t let Y/n and Erin go, then our ma’s won’t let us go.”

“Well, neither they should, and I’ll be ringing them to say as much.” The teens looked at Mary in despair as she went to the phone, likely to ring everyone’s mothers. While dialing, Mary looked back to the living room. “Look, girls, I know how much you were looking forward to seeing This and That.”

“Take That.” Erin corrected.

“But there’ll be other concerts.” Y/n laughed humorlessly, resting her head on her father’s shoulder momentarily before letting go of him completely.

“No, there won’t.” She felt hysterical. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Months of looking forward to this concert just to be banned by her mother because of a polar bear. Only something like this would happen to her. “The fact that this one’s happening is a miracle ‘cause no one good comes here ‘cause we all keep killing each other!” James shifted on the arm of the couch to make room for Y/n to sit next to him. He rubbed her back as she leaned against him for support, devastated.

“And now we’re overrun with polar bears.” Sarah sighed, pulling out a cig.

Frustrated, Y/n stormed up to her room, the girls and James close behind. They had found her face down on her bed, screaming into a pillow. James sat beside her, pulling the pillow out of her grasp before she could suffocate herself. While everyone settled in Y/n’s room, she rested her head on James’ thigh. Her anger and sadness were slowly washing away from James rubbing her back.

“This is so fucking unfair.” She muttered.

“I know,” James responded, brushing hair out of her face.

“Well, I dunno about you lot, but I’m not letting that fat furry fuck ruin the biggest day of my life,” Michelle announced harshly, pacing the floor.

“What can we do?” Erin asked, lying across her sister’s legs.

“Right, listen, girls.” Michelle drew their attention. They hoped that she had come up with a plan to save the day, but were quickly let down. “I’ve never told anyone this before, but… sometimes, when Robbie’s being interviewed, it’s like he’s sending me messages through the TV. You know, like telepathically or whatever, It’s like he’s saying…” She sighed, clearly in a dreamy daze. “We’re meant to be together.”

Everyone stared at her.

“Aye, maybe don’t tell that to anyone again, Michelle,” Erin said. “Ever.”

“I think she might be more cracked than Orla,” Y/n muttered to James, who snorted.

“What?” Orla looked at Y/n after hearing her name.

“Nothing, love.”

“Look, this is too important,” Michelle said. “I’m going to that concert. I’m not afraid of a fucking polar bear!” Everyone enthusiastically agreed. They shouldn’t pay mind to a random bear or what their parents have to say about anything. Nothing would stop the girls and James from seeing Take That.

“I’ll kill it with me own two hands, if I have to.” Orla declared.

“Bring it on!” Erin egged on.

“Okay. We seem to have gone down a weird road here, people. I think we just got a bit confused.” Ever the realist and anxiety-riddled girl, Clare tried stopping her friends from the odd discussion. “We don’t actually have to fight a polar bear, and if we did, I wouldn’t fancy our chances because, well, they’re massive.” Orla looked around, confused.

“But there’s six of us.”

“Aye, I think we’d have a real chance,” Y/n said, albeit slightly sarcastically.

“The point is, the polar bear’s not the one stopping us from going to the concert. It’s our mothers, and we’ll never get them to change their minds.” Y/n gasped, sitting up suddenly, seeming to have an idea.

“So we fight Mammy.”

“No, definitely not.” James shot down the idea immediately and welcomed his once again pouty girlfriend to rest in his lap. Michelle leaned toward the group like she was gonna tell them a secret.

“We’re not gonna try and change their minds.” She smirked, and everyone became slightly fearful because Michelle always had less than bright ideas that she’d have them execute. “We’re gonna do something else.”

“What?” James asked.

***

“I’m still trying to figure out whether or not this is a good idea,” Y/n muttered to James, who she clung to while sitting on his lap. Michelle had somehow convinced everyone to sneak away and get on a bus to Belfast. The group sat in the back of the bus to avoid anyone who may be suspicious of six teenagers traveling by themselves. There wasn’t enough seating for all six of them to sit together, so everyone squished together, and Y/n sat on James’ lap. No one said anything about it besides the comment from Michelle about how James must be giddy to be so close to a girl. He told her to fuck off.

“Same here.” He sighed, hands gripping her closer as the bus crossed a few bumps on the road.

“We’re gonna get caught; I just know it,” Clare said anxiously to the group.

“We’re not gonna get caught, Clare, because as far as our ma’s are concerned, me, you, and James are ’round Erin’s, and Erin, Y/n, and Orla are ’round mine,” Michelle explained, trying to calm Clare down.

“But we’re not ’round yours, Michelle,” Orla responded, confused. “We’re on the bus to Belfast.”

“Christ.” Y/n rolled her eyes, having heard her cousin say this multiple times since they left the house.

“I cannot explain it to her again. I’m gonna scream.” Michelle looked away from Orla, probably because she would strangle her if she had to deal with the confusion for another second.

“What’s in the suitcase, Michelle?” James asked, staring at the case his cousin had set on the remaining seat near the group. Y/n could’ve sat there, but Michelle wanted a close eye on whatever was in the suitcase without holding it in case they got caught. Everyone stared, curiously waiting for an answer. There was a beat of silence.

“Vodka.” You brought an entire suitcase full of vodka?” Erin asked incredulously.

“Jesus, Michelle, you’ve got a problem,” Y/n added.

“No. There’s mixers as well. I’m not a savage.” Michelle took a second to think, looking down at the case. “You can mix vodka with cider, right?”

“God, I am boiling.” Clare sighed, fanning her face.

“Gee, I wonder why, Clare.” Y/n laughed, looking at her friend who was completely bundled in jackets and scarves.

“What are you wearing?” Erin asked.

“Yeah, you look like a fucking Provo.”

“I don’t want anyone recognizing me, okay?” The bus paused its venture, opening the doors for people to come in and out.

“No one’s gonna recognize you, Clare.” Michelle chastised.

“Clare Devlin, is that you?” Panic ran through everyone. The voice sounded very familiar and fear-inducing. The girls looked towards the front. Sister Michael was moving past the seats and right for them.

“Jesus Christ.” Clare squeaked, trying to hide in her mountain of clothes. Erin leaned into her.

“Relax, Clare.” She said. “She has no authority over us at the weekend. She has no right to question us, and if she tries to, I’ll tell her as much.”

“Aye, I’d like to see you try, Erin.” Y/n hissed to her sister before Sister Michael reached the group.

“Morning, girls.” She said.

“Morning, Sister Michael.” Everyone said in unison.

“What takes you to Belfast?” There was a heavy pause. The girls were silently trying to decide who would speak and what they would say. Erin volunteered herself, speaking quietly from nervousness.

“I’m not really sure that’s-”

“Speak up.” Sister Michael interrupted her. Erin gulped.

“I’m not really sure that that’s any of your business…” Sister Michael stared blankly at her. Everyone waited for her to jump and murder Erin for saying such a thing. Soon, she found words.

“I’m going to assume that was an ill-judged attempt at humor, Miss Quinn.”

“Yes,” Erin whispered, sinking into her seat. Y/n silently prayed that the bus would start moving so Sister Michael would be forced to leave and find a seat somewhere. But God never seemed too kind to the girls.

“Now, answer the question.”

“... We’re going to the museum.” Erin devised a good lie; the girls just hoped they could keep up with the inevitable follow-up questions.

“Which museum?”

“Ulster Museum,” Clare answered.

“What for?”

“A project,” James responded.

“A history project.” Y/n amended. Sister Michael looked at the two. It seemed like she was about to ask why Y/n was in James’ lap, but she decided against it, not wanting to go through the trouble.

“What about?”

“Ulster,” Erin answered once again. Sister Michael gave an unconvinced hum and turned around to find a place to sit. Everyone sighed in relief as the bus started to move again.

“A history project,” Clare said in disbelief. “This web of lies we’re spinning is getting out of control now, girls.” Y/n put a hand on her friend’s shoulder to take her attention.

“If it makes you feel any better, Clare, I actually have a history project due soon.”

“I thought we finished that,” James said quietly to her. She turned to him.

“Yeah, but now I’ve gotta put it all together.”

“It’s grand, Clare,” Michelle said, rolling her eyes at Clare’s constant anxiousness. “I think she bought it.”

“Of course, she didn’t buy it. She’s onto us, I’m telling you. Oh God, I’m sweltering here.”

“Then take it off,” Erin said.

“I can’t take it off; I’ve nothing underneath it.” Everyone paused, looking at her confused.

“What, not even a bra?” Erin asked.

“Jesus, Clare, you’ve no bra on?” Michelle asked incredulously.

“I haven’t got a bra on,” Orla commented.

“Aye, me neither,” Y/n said.

“What?” James practically choked. Suddenly aware of his girlfriend’s body and this new information, he moved his hands down to sit at her hips. Y/n shrugged.

“They dig.”

“What’s she doing now?” Clare asked, and everyone looked at Sister Michael, who sat a few rows ahead of them. She was reading a book, laughing every now and then.

“Reading her book,” James answered, as if they all couldn’t see it. She suddenly turned to the woman in the seat next to her. She had a look of disgust while the woman ate a sandwich. “Now she’s looking at the woman beside her.” Sister Michael stood from her seat. “Now she’s getting up.” She moved towards the back of the bus, closing in on the girls. “Now she’s coming this way.” Soon enough, Sister Michael stood before the group, staring at them. “Now she’s standing right in front of us.”

“What’s he doing?” Sister Michael asked, looking weirdly at James.

“Now she’s-” James’ words were halted by Y/n putting a finger to his lips.

“Stop narrating, Jamie.”

“I want to sit here.” Sister Michael said with finality, pointing to where Michelle’s suitcase sat. Michelle started to panic.

“What? Why?”

“Well, you’re just such wonderful company, girls, what with your stimulating conversation and razor-sharp wit.” Everyone knew she was being sarcastic. Except for Erin.

“Really?” She asked, seemingly flattered. Sister Michael rolled her eyes.

“No, not really. The woman next to me is eating an egg and onion sandwich, and the smell is enough to turn an Orange March.” The girls cringed at the description. Sister Michael grabbed the suitcase, trying to move it. But she was evidently struggling. “Christ, but this is heavy.”

“Sister, no, let me,” Michelle said, leaning over to grab the case.

“What do you have in here, girls?”

“It’s not ours!” Clare quickly responded with a shriek. Everyone glared at her lie.

“Not yours?”

“We have never seen it before in our lives, have we, girls?” It was better to just agree, so that’s what the girls did. They nodded, giving different mutters of confirmation.

Sister Michael turned to look at everyone else on the bus.

“Excuse me, everyone. Can I have your attention, please?” She raised her voice to get everyone to listen. Confused, the passengers looked at her while she pointed to Michelle’s suitcase. “Does anyone own this red suitcase?” No one claimed it. “Now, let me be clear. No one can claim this bag, is that correct?” Everyone confirmed her question. She looked down at the suitcase. “I think we have a Code Red on our hands. Driver, pull over!”

***

The girls were definitely fucked. Everyone had to evacuate the bus while they waited for the military to come and extract the suitcase. Now, a crowd watched as a military robot examined the case.

“Jesus Christ!” Clare squeaked in a panic.

“Aye, this isn’t great,” Erin said, watching the commotion. Michelle shrugged.

“It’s not that big a deal.”

“They’re about to blow up an entire suitcase of vodka, Michelle.”

As Michelle and Erin quietly argued, Y/n leaned into James’ ear.

“And here I thought Clare’s paranoia would be our biggest problem.” James rested his head on Y/n’s, eyeing the situation in front of him in disbelief.

“Why is this place so mental?” He asked. Michelle scoffed.

“That’s enough, James. You have serious fucking anger management issues. Do you know that?” Before anyone could give a rebuttal, there was an explosion. The robot had successfully eliminated the threat in the red suitcase, which was the girls’ ticket to a good time.

There were lots of talks among the soldiers over the radio. The girls silently celebrated when one said they could pack everything up. Soon enough, they’d be back on the way to Belfast.

“Powerful smell of vodka down here, over.” The girls froze in their places as they heard the soldier over the radio. God really did seem to have it out for the teens.

“Vodka, did he say?” Sister Michael asked, slowly turning to her students. “Interesting.” The girls gave her nervous smiles. Suddenly, Y/n pointed over Sister Michael’s shoulder.

“Oh my God, Sister! What’s over there?!” Sister Michael whipped around, and Y/n made a break for it. All of her friends followed after her.

They ran like hell, not knowing where they were going. After a while of wandering around, they slowed to a walk down a dirt road, all trying to catch their breath. The girls debated whether or not they could reach Belfast on foot, especially with that polar bear on the loose. But the conversation dwindled as some men came into view on the side of the road.

“Is it just me, or is that g*psy an absolute ride?”

“As usual, I think it’s just you, Michelle,” Y/n said, groaning at her sore legs.

“Michelle, you cannot say that.” Erin scolded.

“What?”

“They’re called ‘travelers now. Y’can’t say ‘g*psy’ anymore. It’s insulting.”

“Okay, but you just said it, Erin.” Y/n pointed out. Michelle and Erin continued arguing over the correct word to use for the men. It continued for a while, and only stopped when they had gotten closer to the men.

“Howya, girls.” One of them said, with a bit of a slurred speech. The girls politely greeted him and continued walking. They got a few feet past them when the one who greeted them started calling after them. “Hey, hold on.”

“What does he want?” Clare asked in a panic.

“I don’t know,” Erin replied, just as nervous.

“I’m talking to you!” The man shouted. The girls ignored him, but he kept walking after them. “Hey, are you deaf or what?”

“Just keep going.” Y/n urged her friends, grabbing James’ hand to yank him along while she pushed her tired body to go faster. The teens started walking more quickly, and soon enough, the shouting man and his friends were all tailing after them.

“Get back here!”

“Faster. Walk faster.”

“Am I gonna have to come after you, am I?”

“Jesus Christ, he’s following us,” James muttered, now being the one to pull Y/n further.

“Run!” Y/n yelped, breaking into a sprint and out of James’ grip because the sudden change in pace had caught him off guard. Everyone ran after her, the teens to catch up with Y/n and the travelers to catch up with the teens. The girls were terrified, except for Orla, of course, who could always find the fun in a fucked up situation.

“Piss off!” Erin went to the edge of the dirt road and came back to the strange men waving a giant stick around. They backed up in alarm, and the girls stopped to stand behind Erin.

Except for Y/n, who was still running like hell. James yelled for her, but she couldn’t hear him over the thumping of her feet and heart. She didn’t even notice that her friends had all been left in the dust behind her.

“Jesus fuck!” Y/n screeched when she was grabbed suddenly by the shoulders and yanked back into someone’s chest. The person who caught her breathed heavily, slightly using her as a crutch. Y/n immediately recognized the whines and groans of exhaustion and smacked the man in the arm. “Scared the fuck out of me, James.”

“I know, ‘m sorry.” James brought her closer to him, back pressed against his chest as he rubbed her arms up and down to comfort her. “Can’t run off like that, love. Could’ve lost you.”

“Sorry.” She apologized sheepishly, and James kissed her head to show she shouldn’t be. When the couple regained strength, they turned around and started walking back to the group that was currently arguing with the strange couple of men when they abruptly ran to the side of the dirt road. A van sped past them as if they weren’t even there, honking the horn and stopping in front of the stand-off of travelers and teenage girls. Y/n and James hesitantly watched, not knowing what was happening.

Soon, Erin stuck her head out from behind the van so her sister was in her view. She waved her over frantically.

“Y/n, come on!” Erin then disappeared, likely into the strange van. Knowing everyone else was probably in there, and not wanting to be left stranded, Y/n broke out into another sprint, leaving James in the dust once again.

“Not again.” He mumbled.

***

When Y/n had snuck away from her family and hopped on a bus to Belfast with her friends, she obviously didn’t expect the bus plan to go to shit, and she and her buddies would be riding around in someone’s van. Yet here she was, jostling around in the back, surrounded by half-assed Take That shirts. Erin was trying to converse with the driver; Rita was apparently her name. Meanwhile, Michelle hogged a cardboard cut-out of Robbie Williams, and Clare and Orla were sifting through all the different merchandise.

“Robie?” Clare said to herself as she held up one of the shirts to look at before frantically digging through the rest of the boxes. In the driver’s seat, Rita seemed to have some type of drunken meltdown. Clare turned to Y/n, panicked like always. “Y/n, what are we gonna do?”

“Pray.”

“She’s spelt ‘Robbie’ wrong on every single t-shirt.”

“Huh?”

“How are we gonna break it to her?” Y/n snorted. That was not what she expected her dear friend to be worried about.

“Clare, we’re being driven around by some crazy tipsy woman, and I bet she doesn’t even know which direction Belfast is in. And yet you’re worried about a spelling mistake?”

“I find it disturbing.”

“I find your priorities disturbing.” Rita continued talking in her drunken, weepy state, leading to another discussion between Erin and Michelle about the correct label to use for the intimidating men they had run into.

But everything was cut short by the van ramming into something, causing everyone to jerk forward. There was a moment of silence as everyone tried to figure out what had just happened.

“Jesus Christ.” Michelle groaned, rubbing her head as she sat up.

“What was that?” Erin asked no one in particular.

“Did we hit something?”

Orla opened the sliding door of the van and stuck her head out. Everyone heard a gasp of both surprise and delight.

“Oh my God, it’s the polar bear!” The sentence made everyone, excluding Rita, who smoked her cigarette in the driver’s seat, jump out of the van and surround the body.

“Orla, this is not a bloody polar bear.” Y/n sneered, looking down at the dead sheep that lay before her feet. Everyone slowly looked over at her.

“You’re soundin’ like James,” Michelle said in slight disgust.

“Shut up.”

“Get it shifted, girls!” Rita commanded from the van, taking another drag. Reluctantly, the girls grabbed the sheep carcass and tried carrying it to the side of the road to clear their path. There was a lot more struggling than they intended.

“Why’s it so heavy?” Erin said with a strained voice. “Aren’t they meant to be ninety percent wool?”

“Just put your back into it. The sooner this is done, the sooner we’re back in the van and on our way to see Robbie.”

“Shut it about Robbie, Michelle!” Y/n groaned, trying to pull the sheep. There was much more arguing, and after a very short while, the girls decided they were officially over this task.

“Fuck this!” Michelle shouted. “Let’s just make James do it, the lazy bastard!” Everyone dropped the sheep on the ground and waited for James to do all the work.

But he never did. It was just the girls on an empty road with a dead sheep and a crazy woman.

“Wh… Where is James?” Clare asked, looking around, hoping he’d suddenly pop out of a bush or something.

Y/n thought long and hard. She might have been the last one to be with James. Backtracking to her last known moments with James, Y/n gasped and raised a hand to her mouth. The girls looked at her expectantly, waiting to find out where he was. Her response was an embarrassed and horrified whisper.

“I left him with the travelers.”

***

It took much persuasion, mainly for Michelle, but the girls had gotten Rita to go back for James. It was primarily the revelation that James was the one who had the concert tickets. After a long drive, the van skidded to a stop in front of the traveler’s stands of vegetables and fruits. James was among the men, helping them. Y/n yanked the van door open, relieved that her boyfriend hadn’t been mugged or stranded or something else of the sort.

“James!” She yelled in delight, immediately catching his attention. He grinned but stayed stuck in his place.

“What are you playing at? Get in the van, fucko.” Michelle commanded, less thrilled to see James than Y/n was. The man who first chased the girls put a hand on James’ shoulder.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, James.”

“With all due respect, this has nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah!” Y/n added, desperately waiting for her boyfriend to get into the van.

“The way you treat this fella, it’s disgraceful.” The traveler reprimanded.

“Fucking excuse me?” Y/n felt beyond insulted.

“What’s going on, James?” Michelle asked.

“Jonjo and the lads…” James looked at said lads with a smile. “They just get me. And it turns out, I’m a really good salesman.”

“He’s a natural,” Jonjo said.

“So, what, you’re a g*psy now?” Michelle asked, clearly thinking this was an unfunny prank.

“Traveler.” Erin and Y/n corrected in unison, Erin louder than her sister.

“Actually, g*psy’s fine,” Jonjo said. Michelle smirked, finally being able to prove to Erin that she was right. Rita yelled at everyone to hurry up, and Michelle nodded.

“Right, get in the van, come on. And do not test me ’cause we’ve already missed PJ and Duncan.”

“Is that who was supporting them?” Clare asked. When confirmed, she pouted. “Oh, I really like them!”

“I’m not leaving, Michelle,” James said with finality.

Y/n sighed, stepping out of the van. The tense gaze James had for his cousin softened when his girlfriend walked up to him.

“Not even for Gary Barlow, Jamie?” Y/n knew she made the right move because now James looked unsure of himself.

“I don’t really rate him as a, as a songwriter, y’know?” Jonjo said. The horrified look James suddenly had painted on his face made Y/n smile, both because she knew that the girls would now be leaving with him and because he looked so adorable.

James took off his fanny pack and handed it to Jonjo in disappointment, refusing to make eye contact.

“I’m sorry, Jonjo, but you’ve just crossed the line there.”

Y/n wrapped an arm around James’ back and guided his sad self to the van, where the door was just behind them. She brought him to the back of the van so he could mope a bit in peace. The girls all talked excitedly amongst themselves about the concert.

“I’m sorry I stranded you,” Y/n said quietly, moving her hand down James’ back to squeeze his hand. He squeezed it back and smiled softly down at her.

“I’m just glad you came back.”

“Of course, I came back. You have the concert tickets.” James shoved Y/n away and couldn’t hide the growing grin from hearing her laugh. “Kidding, kidding.”

After a long drive, long lines, and a big fight to get to the barricade, the Derry girls were finally able to enjoy Take That in all its glory. They screamed the lyrics, jumped to the beat, and danced all together in excitement. They didn’t care about the consequences when they would get home to their parents, who were probably worried sick. They didn’t worry about how they’d get home that night. All that mattered was that they were currently in the presence of one of their favorite bands of all time.

Somewhere in the middle of the set, the excitement winded down a bit as a piano intro played. Y/n squealed, tugging on James’ sleeve, as she recognized what was dubbed as her and James’ song, A Million Love Songs. James grinned at her excitement.

“Oh my God! I have something for you!” Y/n exclaimed over the music, digging around in her pockets. James looked down curiously as she brought out a folded piece of paper. “If it’s bad, you’re not allowed to make fun of me.”

“What is it?” James leaned down so he was closer to eye level with Y/n, making her blush. She pinched the edge of the paper, creasing it a bit.

“Do you remember when Erin became magazine editor, and we were going through those essays and… and Michelle found mine?” James nodded, remembering the day clearly because he was devastated when he heard the title of her little essay. “Well, I figured, since it’s our third month together and all… I wanted to give it to you.” He was gentle when taking the paper from her, so incredibly curious about what she had written. “Especially since my fancy isn’t so one-sided as I thought.”

All Y/n could focus on was the beautiful song in the background and the beautiful boy in front of her, reading words that had come straight from her heart when she thought her love for James was just a hopeless crush. She didn’t know if it was a good sign, seeing him become more flustered and blushy as he read on. When he was finished, he slowly and carefully folded the paper back up while Take That started to play a more energetic song.

“Again, you can’t make fun of me if it’s bad!” Y/n shouted over the noise. “I know Erin’s the writer or whatever, but- oof!” She was interrupted by James pulling her to his chest, arms wrapped tight around her and face buried in the crook of her neck. She immediately returned the affections.

“It’s amazing.” He said in her ear. “Amazing, and lovely, and perfect. Just like the girl who wrote it.” Unable to help herself, Y/n brought James’ face to hers and kissed him with such passion, a passion he reciprocated instantly. It was as if it was only them existing at that moment.

Of course, it wasn’t. Clare would later tease and squeal at the two and interrogate them about when they had finally gotten together and why they didn’t tell her. Too enamored with the men just feet away from them, the rest of the girls didn’t even notice the couple.

And somewhere in Derry, while the rest of her family was fighting, Y/n’s father Gerry smiled fondly at his television where he saw his daughter having the time of her life at a Take That concert with her best friends and boyfriend. A boyfriend he’d absolutely be asking her about in private when he had the chance.

~~~

TAG LIST: @mistahjsfunnygirl @etherealdisneyvillainness @crystalsoobin-m @raggedyoldwitch @rosetintworld @regretthatsme @neenieweenie @allexiiisss @drmeghanjones @eli-com @anything-for-our-moony-toast @ilovespideyyy @eddisaurus @imagines--galore @imastabu @emma-is-a-nerd @sir1usblacksgf @kaz-2y567 @ventingtostrangersontheinterwebs @spidercrush3 @humanoid-freak14 @the-lonely-raisin @miilkshakess @underthebatcape @dear-jamespotter @brithedemonspawn @crumpets-are-better-with-jam

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#james maguire x reader #james maguire #derry girls x reader #derry girls #agaypanic

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nekropsii · 4 months

Note

I’m curious which M/M alpha troll ships you’d put in the case study tier - who is in the Petri dish?

These aren’t ships to me, just dynamics I think are interesting for narrative reasons, but… Putting this under the cut since it's a little long. I got into some detail.

Content Warning: Long, Discussions of Abuse.

These are the top three things that come to mind on the subject. They're in no particular order, though!!

Cronus and Kankri’s… I can’t earnestly call this a friendship, that implies some kind of mutual genuine attachment, trust, and respect. This is more of an… Alliance, if anything. Their relationship is solely grounded in Kankri’s bootlicking, hemoloyalist pick-me horseshit, and Cronus gravitating to anything that can give his pathetic, sad, over-inflated ego a boost, whether it be through him tearing them down for no reason or, in Kankri’s case, enabling him for no reason. It’s worth pointing out that Kankri was outright against Cronus taking any steps towards any self improvement, so Kankri is absolutely partially at fault for Cronus being as brazen about his abuse and manipulation of others as he is. Kankri is at fault for Cronus’s manipulation tactic of adopting random minority identities, and faking suicide for pity points. We literally see Kankri backing Cronus up about these things. They are in the worst cahoots I’ve ever seen. Hitting people who “ship” them with a rock because none of them have ever read anything in their lives and it’s honest to god one of the most consistently, disgustingly out of character things I’ve ever seen. Zero understanding of the source material. Kankri’s always made into a Catholic Whore, Cronus is always wildly defanged and woobified. Completely unrecognizable. Jail.

Rufioh and Horuss’s… Already failed relationship. This thing started as a tryst while Rufioh was dating Damara before the game even fucking happened, so this thing has been going on FOREVER. Rufioh had been cheating on that poor girl for YEARS before she finally snapped, and Rufioh has the fucking audacity to call her crazy and paranoid?! I’m sending him to The Hague. Anyway, Horuss has that Zahhakian quirk of being very violently stuck in his ways as far as the caste system goes, and it’s interesting watching how smitten he is with Rufioh despite this (and, I’d argue, because of this, to an extent,) and how not into it Rufioh is. It’s interesting watching how Horuss clearly knows what Rufioh is getting at, he knows that Rufioh is trying to break up with him, he’s just incapable of letting go. And Rufioh is incapable of growing a fucking spine and communicating with people normally, instead of just immediately giving up and then turning around and talking major shit about people he presumably cares about behind their backs. As if that’s a normal thing to do. Asshole.

Cronus and Mituna’s… This isn’t a friendship, this isn’t a relationship, for the love of fucking god this is NOT a Kismesissitude, this is just undeniable extreme abuse we see on screen, constantly. Above everything else, if you ship this, I’m going to kill you with hammers and then shoot you with a gun. The thing is, though, you cannot separate these characters from each other’s writing. You cannot write a Mituna that has never been abused by Cronus and a Cronus that has never abused Mituna, because that dynamic there is so important to both setting up and understanding these characters as both characters and as people that they’d be completely unrecognizable without that element. You need to understand that you can make this shit become symbolic. Mituna is Cassandra. Cronus is both Apollo and Ajax the Lesser. Please understand the vision. It’s right there. It’s so easy.

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #dancestors #rufioh nitram #mituna captor #kankri vantas #horuss zahhak #cronus ampora #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

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vivalarevolution · 1 year

Text

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽-𝓢𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓮𝓭 𝓢𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼

Neteyam x Human Reader x Lo’ak

A/N: A little idea I came up with last night while falling asleep. Missing summer, I couldn't resist writing this. I hope you like it , it’s short and sweet. Please remember that english is not my native language, mistakes may occur.

Also, don't be surprised if the reader can kiss etc. without any problem. I think during the time break they had to come up with an alternative to the masks that were worn in the first part.

Sand beneath her feet was pleasantly warm, and the water around her was refreshing. It almost felt like her little heaven, away from any problems and worries. Especially when she had Lo'ak by her side, who faithfully followed her, serving as a porter for all the shells she had decided to start collecting a while ago.

Her small hands from time to time found a place in his large ones, and lips involuntarily met for a fleeting moment, stealing a sweet kisses between the two.

-How many seashells do you need? - the boy asked after a long moment, looking at the girl and how she bent down to search for them.

-Hmm...I honestly have no idea - she confessed, giggling a second later - Guess I just fell into a vortex of searching - she stated, examining her new find, debating whether or not she wanted to keep it.

-As long as I get these kisses, I'll be fine - replied the teenager, crouching down beside her, his tail gliding along her bare leg.

-You'd get them anyway - she pointed out aptly, connecting their foreheads together.

-Then why am I helping you? - he asked playfully, looking at her with adoration in his eyes.

-I'm willing to say it's because you love me - the girl stated, stealing a quick kiss from him - And I can always ask Neteyam. I know he'll be more than happy to help - she added teasingly.

-You wouldn't dare - he replied - These little escapades are only ours.

Y/n couldn't help herself. Laughing loudly, she leaned against the na'vi's torso, her hand clasping his arm for safety. It was always funny to her how Lo'ak was jealous of his own brother who, like him, was also her mate. At first it was hard to come to terms with this kind of relationship but she thought they were over it, apparently she was wrong.

The boy looks at her as if upset, sitting down to make it more comfortable for him to hold the girl in his arms, still, surprisingly, having shells in his palm.

-My sweet Lo'ak, I love you both very much - she whispered into his neck - Please don't be so jealous. I'm not going anywhere.

-I'm not jealous - he muttered like an offended child.

-Oh but you are - she announced - But I like it that way - she added, marking his face with tender kisses that made him close his eyes sighing, giving himself up to a pleasant feeling.

His hands involuntarily slid to her hips, thumbs rubbing her firm skin, trying to pull her as close as possible. He was so addicted to her it was almost sick, but he couldn't help it, loving her attention.

Y/n herself settled her much smaller hands on the nape of his neck, squeezing the blue skin between her fingers again and again, lazily moving to his black hair, which she began to massage, eliciting a soft moan from his mouth.

The moment was sweet, intimate, but it was cut short far too soon.

-What do we have here? - asked an unknown voice, thus interrupting the two.

Lo'ak frowned, and his tail involuntarily tightened on the thigh of the teenager, who moved her mouth away from his skin to look up at the unwanted intruder who was standing above them.

-What do you want? - Y/n asked, much calmer than the boy below her.

-I wanted to know what you two freaks were doing - he said, looking at them with contempt.

-None of your business Ao’nung - girl replied quickly as a draft, getting up from the sand on which she was kneeling.

The boy did not like this answer, it was too ignorant, harsh. He wanted to see anger, frustration.

Touching his fingers to where her tailbone was, he wanted to make her react but seeing this, Lo'ak stood up as if he was burned. Pushing the chief's son hard, hiding Y/n behind him with his free hand, hissing in a warning.

-Don't you dare touch her - he said, holding the girl's body close to him, pointing his finger at Metkayina's member - You'll try again...- he threatened, but a small hand stopped him from further movement.

The teenager stood in front of him, taking the outstretched hand in hers, holding it close to her soft mouth, kissing his knuckles.

-He's not worth it - she announced, not wanting him to get involved in another fight - Let's go, we'll find another place for us - she said, looking firmly at Ao'nung after a while - And you better leave - she added returning to collect seashells that fell from her mate's hand.

Boy covered her again when Ronal's son got too close in his opinion. Staring defiantly at him, almost waiting for an opportunity to knock him out again.

-Your little demon better not touch anything on this beach. We don't want everything to turn to ashes like your home did - he said quietly, only for Lo'ak to hear.

However, despite everything, the girl heard it anyway and closed her eyes. She didn't know what had possessed her, but taking sand into her hand, it was too late to back out.

-You're right - Y/n replied, standing in front of Ao'nung - I'm one of the demons from sky- she confirmed, looking at him hatefully - We are known for many tricks. There's one here. We call it dirty play - she announced before suddenly throwing sand in the na'vi's eyes.

Lo'ak stared contentedly at the view in front of him before the girl tugged at him. Run was the only word he heard before they started to sprint as far as they could while growls and grunts of displeasure could be heard behind them.

The dark haired boy finally caught her around the waist running with her on his shoulder instead of beside her. They were stopped only by Neteyam, who finally returned from the talk with his father, looking for them for several minutes.

-Here you are, I was looking for you two - he informed, and seeing their condition he looked at them more closely, sighing seconds later - What have you done?

Before either of them could answer his question, the chief's son appeared beside them, and this time he was not alone.

-You will pay for this - he growled at the beginning, trying to get to Y/n, which was covered in a split second by the Sully brothers.

Neteyam didn't know what happened in his absence, but nothing justifies anyone to hurt his mate, so without thinking he pushed the boy's shoulder, trying to tower over him, even though they were the same height.

-Back off - he growled in a low tone, just like his brother before, sticking out his finger as if it would stop him.

-Or what? - he asked arrogantly, stepping closer so that they almost bumped their heads.

-Or I do not vouch for myself - he replied in a low tone of voice, and the girl shivered because of that.

Ao'nung and him stared at each other for a moment before the boy raised his hands up, in a silent act showing that he was giving up. But before he left, he looked one last time at Y/n who was tucked under Lo'ak's arm, clinging to him as a last resort, in fact making sure he didn't break free from her grip.

-You can't stay out of trouble, can you? - the eldest sibling asked when they were finally alone.

- It doesn't matter anymore - the teenager replied, letting go of the na'vi's body next to her - Come on I want to look for more shells - she said, not waiting for their reactions and walking ahead.

The boys looked at each other, but neither spoke, obediently following Y/n, who was walking in front of them, now soaking her feet in the water instead of searching as she wanted before.

Only after a few minutes, she stopped, as if noticing something valuable. Bending down, she fingered her little treasure, smiling slightly, then sat on the sand below her, soaking her toes in the crystal clear sea.

-Will you join me? - she asked gently, and in response they sat on her sides, covering her body from the outside world.

-What's up, pretty girl? - Nete asked, stroking her cheekbone.

-Nothing - she said, kissing his cheek and then his lips, missing the feel of his mouth against hers.

Teenager in response pulled her closer, unable to resist her pink lips, sweet scent and the feeling of soft skin under his fingers. Lo'ak quickly clung to her left side as well and began kissing her, trailing down her bare shoulders and neck, causing her to chuckle softly.

Neteyam pulled away from her, happy as her laughter reached his ears and his eyes saw the wide smile that was caused by his younger brother.

Y/n looked at him, her gaze softening involuntarily. Her small hand drew the one that belonged to him kissing his wrist tenderly, and he grabbed hers in response, repeating the act she had done, biting her skin with one of his fangs from time to time.

-I have something for you - she whispered unexpectedly, and the boys stopped doing anything, looking at her expectantly.

She placed her free hand in the handmade pouch in which she had previously hidden the shells she had collected with Lo'ak. Both Jake's sons watched her actions, not noticing how they were getting closer and closer with each passing moment, almost hovering over Y/n.

-What's that? - Neteyam asked, pushing her hair behind her ear to get a better view.

-We were collecting seashells today - his brother explained to him without taking his eyes off the girl.

-These are special seashells... no matter how strange it sounds - she said, carefully rummaging through them for this particular one - Luckily, I found more than one - she added, sticking her hand out in front of her - There would be three but the last one probably stayed where Ao'nung accosted us.

In her hand were two small heart-shaped shells. Both were colored white, in some places decorated with gray or blue aspects.

-Is this what we've been looking for half a day? - Lo'ak asked quietly.

-When I found one, I had to find another - she explained, feeling their structure with her fingertips - I thought I'd give them to you as proof of my love, because even far from our home, our feelings are strong and the sea sees it.

Y/n stared at them with a warm smile, not even noticing as both na'vi's tails started to move, hitting the ground from time to time in excitement. Only when they wrapped around her like ivy did she shift her gaze to them, looking at them with a silent question in her eyes.

-You're too good for us, you know it - Neteyam said adoringly, kissing her forehead.

-Showing love towards someone should not be a duty but something pleasant. And putting smiles on your lips is something that pleases me - she announced, leaning against his chest while Lo'ak rested his head on her thighs.

-We should find this third shell - said the younger of the brothers, grabbing Y/n's hand on which small gifts rested - Then it will be perfect.

-In a minute - the teenager muttered closing her eyes, feeling how Nete's big hand found its place on her stomach and how sun kissed her skin- It's too nice here to go already.

Brothers grunted in approval, focused on Y/n rather than the landscape in front of them.

For a moment it felt like they were the only ones there, and that was the absolute best feeling. Away from problems and troubles or quarrels. At that moment, there were only three of them, just three of them against the world.

#avatar #avatar 2009 #avatar x reader #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x fem!reader #fanfiction #avatar fanfiction #lo'ak #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak x fem!reader #neteyam x reader x lo'ak #pandora #na'vi #na'vi x reader #teen romance #avatar the way of water x reader

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jvnluvr · 1 year

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in the rain; scara ♡

school au, scara x f!reader

author’s note: the amount of time i take in between posts is horrifying, i deeply apologize. i’m here to make content based off my own soft thoughts, i hope you guys enjoy them. <3 as always, please enjoy this late night fluff.

- school; 7:45am -

“scara! wait up! for- for someone so short, you walk really fast.” you say, panting as you finally caught up to him at the end of the hallway. he turns around, looking at you with that very demeaning aura.

“and you’ve got a lot of nerve for saying that, when you’re shorter than me, love.” your eyes widen slightly as you look up at him, but the only thing visible on scare’s face is a wide smirk. clearly you are taken aback by his remark, so you quickly turn around and walk back to your locker down the hall- well, at least that’s what you try to do as he grabs your wrist to turn you back.

“what’s wrong? cat got your tongue? you just love to speak to me with such an attitude right? then how come you get so cut-.. flustered when i say something back? hm?” all you can feel is your ears turning red as he interrogates as you look down, only to realize that his hand is still on yours.

“huh.. his hand is so warm.. i kind of want to stay like this…” you think to yourself until you feel scara lifting your chin up with his finger.

“uh..! you can’t just call me those nicknames you know! i tease you like any normal person, but when you call me that it feels like my heart is gonna explode! it’s not the same!” your eyes widen again as he stares at you. coming to terms with what you said, you quickly tug your hand back and run. you keep thinking about what you said and your face feels hot. there’s no choice though, whether you like it or not, you still have to go through school.

on the other hand, scara is still stuck in the same spot you left him. “..hah, she’s so cute sometimes. what did she say? her heart will explode? hm.. if only she realized what she does to me everyday. oh well, it’s hopeless.” he sighs a bit and walks off to class too.

- lunch; 11:56am -

“i can’t believe i said that to him! what does he think of me now?” all of your friends chuckle as they hear you whining and complaining about your encounter with scara in the morning. your head is on the table, you fear that if you look up you’ll either be tomato red or scara will show up around you.

“i think you’re just overreacting [name], i mean, even if he theoretically found out you had feelings for him, i think he would say he likes you back.” one of your friends say, laughing as another one chimes in.

“yeah, [name]! i really don’t understand why you’re so worried. have you even seen the way he looks at you? you look up at the comment that your other friend just made. you saw everyone agreeing, while you sat there in confusion.

“what..? saw the way… he looked at me..?”

you and scara have known each other since school started. you both had a love hate relationship with each other. at least that was the best way to describe it. he would keep bullies away from you while also doing things that your bullies did. you always found him.. so confusing yet so fascinating. something about him grew on you. was it his eyes, his face, his hair, his hands, his warmth..? he treated you like you were special, like you were worth something. you just had to hide your feelings though, there’s no way scara would like someone like you.. he was.. you didn’t think he would like someone at all.

“oi. why are you staring into space? [name]?” you finally snap out of it when you see scara staring at you again. you quickly turn away in embarrassment.

“scara?! what are you doing here?” you yelp and you could have sworn you heard a soft chuckle from him.

“i’m taking you somewhere stupid. sure know your friends wouldn’t mind me stealing you for a little, ain’t it right?” all your friends giggle as they comply to sacra’s statement. you try and refuse but one of your friends is already pushing you into scara’s arms.

“we’ll see you afterschool, [name]! have funnn~” you can’t even form coherent words as scara grabs your wrist once again and dragging you out of the cafeteria.

-library- 12:07pm-

“why are we even-” the only time you’re able to form words is when scara has you pinned against a wall.

“you’re acting weird today.” he states. you look up at him and he has that same blank expression as he usually does. sometimes, you wish you could even try to comprehend his thoughts.

“i could literally say the same for you. why have you dragged me here, scara?” you gulp a little after saying that. your stomach is starting to fill with butterflies, you feel nervous. what if it’s bad news? what if he-

“can you relax, pretty? i’m not gonna hit you or anything.” your body tenses up again. why does he keep calling you these nicknames? it’s just making you more nervous. not to mention your bodies are barely centimetres apart.

“w-why do you keep doing that? can you just tell me what you want already?” it sounds a bit harsh coming from you, but you’re honestly dying to hear what he has to say.

“i like you, stupid. god. for someone so smart in school, you tend to utterly fail when it comes to human behaviour.” you can only giggle a little when he says that.

“i think this is the part where i say i’ve liked you for as long as i can remember.” he smiles softly after seeing your wide smile. scara loves seeing you happy, it’s so adorable.

“now i think this is the part where i kiss you.” he says leaning down. you wrap your arms around him as the distance closes between you two. the air is heavy but it just feels so right. like you have waited for this day. it was the one thing you were yearning for.

“you- hah- can no longer stay more than 5 centimetres away from me.” scara says while kissing your cheek.

“protective much? i much rather just be hugging you all day and everyday.” you retort and you can feel his smile against your shoulder.

“that would be been better.”

“shouldn’t we head to class now?”

“yeah, but meet me outside the side entrance right after class ends okay?” he says and you’re a bit confused by the specifics.

“alright then..? i’ll see you later.” you stand on your toes to give him another kiss. you hold hands until you depart to your separate classes, while your heart yearns to stay by his side.

-after school; 3:06pm-

you carry your bag as you open the door to the side entrance. you see scara sitting on the stair railway. then you notice that the sky is gloomy and the rain is pouring down. you wondered why he was sitting in the rain so normally.

“scara? why are you sitting in the rain?” his eyes immediately dart up as he sees you standing there, starting to take your umbrella out.

“leave the umbrella, come sit with me.” he says, grabbing your hand as he leads you to sit next to him.

“today has been.. amazing. i’m really glad things turned out the way they did. i know me acting like this isn’t normal, but get used to it. i cant wait to treat you the way you have been deserving of it, princess.” he says while turning to you.

you are more than glad that is raining right now, cause the tears falling down your face are easily concealed by the rain. not for scara though.

“why are you crying, love? was it something i said?-”

“i love you. i love you so much.”

“i love you more.”

some people feel the rain- others just feel wet.

but with you,

as long as rains, my love for you will only increase.

- in the rain.

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momentsbeforemass · 8 days

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I don’t feel God any more

“I don’t feel God any more…”

It may not start like this. But this is at the heart of countless conversations I’ve had with people about God. And their relationship with God.

I’m humbled by their trust. And I’m impressed by the courage that it takes to talk about it with somebody in a clergy collar.

For most of us, a moment like this comes from two places – kind of at the same time. Something traumatic. Whether it happened to us or we did it doesn’t make much difference. Plus our feelings about it.

Fueled by our memories of whatever it was, if we’re not careful (and sometimes even if we are) our feelings can grow until they come between us and others. Blocking our connections with others. Making us feel cut off from even our closest relationships. Including God.

When this happens to us, we need two things. Help dealing with whatever is at the source of our feelings that are cutting us off. And assurance that no permanent damage has been done. That someone is still there for us.

Which is why today’s Gospel is so important. No one who comes to God can be separated from God. Even by the worst things in life. Whether it happened to us. Or we did it ourselves.

As Jesus puts it, “No one can take them out of my hand.”

And that includes us. We can’t do it either. Which means that our relationship with God doesn’t depend on how we feel.

God loves us too much to let the worst things in life – or our feelings about them – get in the way.

If you think about it, this shouldn’t surprise us. Because the best relationships in our lives are like that.

As with real friends, healthy marriages, there’s more there than just feelings.

Why would it be any different with God? I mean, where do you think we got it from?

If this is where you find yourself (and we all do at one point or another, if we’re honest), don’t try to go it alone. And don’t beat yourself up.

Get the help you need. And know that God will always be there for you.

No matter how you feel.

Today’s Readings

#I Can't Feel God #Feelings #God will never give up on you #God is always with you #God #Jesus #Catholic #Christian #Church #Catholicism #Moments Before Mass

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tojiscumdumpster · 11 days

Text

chapter two - READER

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

I shouldn’t be nervous. Why am I nervous? I’ve been alone with my best friend plenty of times before. There was a time where we would hang out all the time before he got into a relationship. Now that he’s been single for the past six months, that gave us more time to be together.

Though, what’s different now is that I am in love with my best friend. And my he just so happened to be Nanami Kento, who’s standing outside in the living room while I frantically pick out what lounge set to wear.

Falling in love with Kento was never the plan. It just… happened. I’ve known him (along with Satoru and Suguru) since college, and between everyone, him and I became the closest. Probably because we’re the quiet ones of the group, so we found comfort in each other.

When Ken started dating Aleena, I was truly happy for him. I thought they paired well together. He’s more reserved and she’s bubbly, which is the energy he needed romantically.

Whenever he needed someone to talk to about Aleena, whether it was for advice or just to fawn over her, I was the person he came to. And I was okay with that at first. However, it wasn’t until last year these romantic feelings I had for Kento started developing.

Aside from what I knew about Kento (which is almost everything), I began seeing him in a different light. He’s a gentleman, extremely kind, caring, patient, reassuring… I could go on about him for days. Maybe months or years and I still wouldn’t get tired about saying why I love him.

I saw all the things he did for Aleena when they were together and I couldn’t help but wonder, what if that was me?

Don’t get me wrong, I adore Aleena. She’s an amazing woman, and we were somewhat friends when she and Ken were dating. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t envy her at times seeing she was loved on by him.

And I can admit that although Kento had his wrongdoings in their relationship, which I always told him, just to hear him confess his love and touch you with such delicacy would be an opportunity I would take at any given moment.

Will I ever tell him that? Absolutely not.

Yes, it hurts being in love with your best friend who’s still in love with his ex, knowing he’ll never return your feelings. But it would hurt even more if I told Kento how I felt, have him reject me, and possibly tarnish our friendship because of my one sided love.

So, I think I’m okay with keeping this secret to myself—Satoru and Suguru.

Suguru only knows because he actually tried hitting on me last year, but I politely declined and he figured I was in love with Kento. And Satoru? Well, he’s just nosey, but at least he somewhat knows how to keep a secret.

“Y/N, I’m… I’m a bit tired. I’m going to head home now.” I hear Kento say from afar while waiting in my living room.

Oh, no. I had him waiting too long. After the day I had at work and that freaking creep harassing me at the bar, all I wanted was to take a shower and freshen up a bit, but I probably should’ve waited after Ken went home.

I’ve already moisturized, so I quickly put on my yellow silk, pajama shorts set and hurry to the living room before he walks out the door. Though, from the looks of it, when I entered the space, he was still sitting down and waiting for me.

“Oh… I thought you were already gone,” I assumed.

“No. Not yet. I didn’t want to leave without seeing you. And so you could lock the door.”

I nod, tucking my coils behind my ear. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting for so long. But I know you said you were tired.”

“Yes, but I also don’t want to invade your space. You had a busy day—”

“No!” I shouted, cutting him off. I didn’t realize how frantic I sounded because of him leaving, but I quickly gathered myself together. “Sorry… I mean, no. I’m not… You’re not invading my space, Kento. I don’t mind if you stay. Well, I want you to.”

He looks at me with a dumbstruck expression and I’m only to blame due my sudden outburst when that’s not the norm for me. But after a few seconds, his face softens and acquiesces to my request.

“Okay,” he responds.

I give him a small smile. “We have a lot of catching up to do. Did you want a drink? I have your favorite whiskey.”

He lets out an airy chuckle that pricks goosebumps along my skin. Hearing Ken’s laugh before I fell in love with him was just a normal sound to me. Now, it deepens my affection for him because seeing him smile is one of my favorite sights.

“You know me so well, Y/N.”

“I do,” I say, pride rushing through my chest. “Did you want to finish talking about your brunch with Aleena?”

“There isn’t much to say from what I told you back at the bar. I just remember the conversation being left at why I should have sex to help me move on. According to Satoru.”

“‘Toru worrying about sex is the exact reason why he lost Camryn,” I teased. “So I don’t think getting relationship advice from me would be ideal.”

“And you?”

“And me, what?” I ask, handing him the glass of whiskey.

“Do you suggest having sex with others to alleviate a heartbreak?”

“Oh… uhm—”

“My apologies. I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I shake my head and quickly reassure him. “No, I’m not uncomfortable. It’s just… I’ve done that before… a few times.”

Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on, or I guess you should say dick to cry on about Kento, I’d always find my way in someone else’s bed to mend the pain. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but it was better than being alone at night.

So, to some extent, I could understand why Satoru suggested that.

It wouldn’t work, though. Seeing how head over heels Kento is about Aleena, I doubt it.

He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, sitting up. “Who was stupid enough to break your heart?” You, but you don’t know that.

“Just past relationships,” I lied. “Anyways, it’s not a bad suggestion, but I don’t see you doing that, Kento. You’re more of an intimate partner, and an emotional connection is needed with you.”

“I’m glad someone understands me. According to Satoru, that shouldn’t matter.”

“Of course it doesn’t to him.”

He hums. “Would like to know what else he suggested?”

I feign a laugh. “What?”

“That I should have sex with you.”

My eyes nearly left my socket when I looked at Kento in pure disbelief.

One, I’m going to flip out on Satoru the next time I see him because I know he does this on purpose in hopes this will further my chances with Ken. Even earlier when he kept putting the spotlight on me at the bar.

And two, the embarrassment that I feel of hearing Kento repeat our big mouthed friend’s words has my mind and center going into a frenzy. I would be lying if I said I’m not sexually attracted to Ken. I masturbate to the thought of him, and I dream of having him between my legs.

But that’s as far as it will go. He’ll never see me that way or be attracted to me, so those dreams will remain in my head.

“Oh, wow… Did he?” I finally responded, nervously. “And what did you say?”

He sighs, taking a sip of his whiskey. “I told him that I value you as a friend.”

I don’t know why I expected otherwise.

“That was half the truth,” he admits.

“I’m not… following?” A shocked expression fell upon his face after realizing what said could possibly leave my mind with unanswered questions, causing him to let out a strained laugh.

“My apologies. I shouldn’t have said that.” He breaks eye contact and runs his hand through his blond locs–a habit Ken does when he shies away.

“Uh, no… it’s okay, but… I wouldn’t mind hearing the other side of the truth.”

Kento looks at me and opens his mouth to speak, but leaves me with nothing. Silence fills between us while we hold eye contact, and the thought of him possibly seeing me as more than just a friend takes over my mind. I mean, how else should I take what he said?

He only told Satoru half of the truth? So there’s a chance he sees me as more than a friend? Is it a romantic attraction or just physical? I’m not left to think any further before Ken closes space between us by finding my lips with his own.

For a moment, I think to myself, am I dreaming? Could I have had too many drinks tonight to where my fantasies start feeling like the real thing?

But no. How Kento slips his tongue into my mouth is very real, and his hand at my bare thigh to squeeze feels just as real. I truly cannot believe this is happening right now, to the point I didn’t take the moment to relish how soft his lips are. Way softer than I ever imagined.

However, me not kissing him back (because I’m still in shock) and my eyes remaining wide open causes him to stop and return our previous distance.

“Y/N, shit… I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” he says. And because I am still in shock, I stare at him.

Ken kissed me.

I wasn’t dreaming. It was very real, but… what does this mean? Does he actually like me or is it liquor courage? Is it pathetic of me to not care whatever the case maybe? Probably, however, I’ll think about that at a later time.

Now? All I want to do is for once, do the unthinkable, which entrails me straddling Kento’s lap and returning the kiss.

This moment can easily be blamed on the amount of drinks we’ve both had, but how my heart is rapidly beating in my chest wouldn’t allow me to lie.

Kissing Ken is exactly what I’ve fantasized about every day—a form of tranquility. Kissing him feels like a stroll on the beach with only you and your lover occupying it, basking in the feel of the sand beneath your feet and the calmness of the ocean singing.

And I’m not one to take initiative when it comes to kissing or having sex, but tasting his lips is enough motivation. Though, I’m still tentative due to not knowing if he’s wanting this as much as I am, but my insecurity is quickly put to rest when he pulls my hands into his locs and his hands grip my hips.

The reserved Kento that I know is tucked away and he becomes greedy when massaging my lips. I gasp at how feral he becomes, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth to deepen our kiss.

I love him. I love him so much that it hurts, and whatever happens tonight… I know I’ll probably never get over him.

“Y/N,” he breathes. “We… we shouldn’t be doing this.” He says this but how his mouth stays on mine, firm grips on my hips to roll into his erection says otherwise.

“Why?”

He places his face in the crook of my neck to deeply inhale my scent and skim his nose along my flesh. “Can I… do what I want with you?”

Yes. Yes. Yes.

“What would you do?” I ask.

“Are you wet?”

“Come find out.” My consent for Kento to have his way with me unlocked a side of him I’ve always wanted to see.

He quickly flips us over, where he’s above me and I lay beneath him, giving us a perfect view of each other. His hair that is usually slicked back is disheveled, and a crimson color spreads across his cheeks.

But what really caught my attention was his dick that’s straining against the front of his pants, nearly begging for some attention.

“Can I fuck you, Y/N?” His question pulls me from my musings and leaves me speechless.

So I answer with a nod.

My shorts are off a few seconds later along with my top, and I am left bare underneath Kento. My instincts kick in and I cover myself up with my arms, however, Ken pulls them off to place soft, wet kisses along my skin.

“Fuck… no, Y/N. You’re… so fucking perfect.” Kento is not one to curse, but swearing to emphasize his attraction to me has my pussy throbbing. “Just this one time… And we don’t have to ever discuss it again.”

Should I be surprised? No. Ken made it very clear that he only sees me as a friend, and despite me knowing this, a weight feels like it fell on my chest from the sudden pain that I’m feeling.

But I don’t care. I want to experience him. I want to know the type of lover Kento is so I can dream about it forever because this is my only chance.

So I’ll put my emotions on hold. I’ll fight back my tears. Whatever is necessary to have him the man I’m in love with inside of me.

“Okay… Just this once.”

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