#If I got anything wrong- I couldn't get the image on good quality :(

[triple-pupil]

Attempted to draw the suit the Devil used in a concept art.

And ngl, he looks kinda.... 👀

Edit

I got the good quality pic.

#cuphead #cuphead devil #cuphead anniversary update #my shit #white backround #If I got anything wrong- I couldn't get the image on good quality :( #I tried my best #Ngl the first one looks a bit like a victorian portrait #Sudden headcanon: He has self-portraits from every era in human history stored somewhere #Except early middle ages- #Ig only the nerds know why #tw smoking #edit: oops- wrong pic hehe

[comicaurora]

Heyo, it's the fool who wants to make a comic with zero experience in drawing or finishing stories again. A lot of people, including you, I think, mentioned that "Your first work will be bad". Any tips how…not to do that? I don't expect it to be a magnum opus or smth, but I at least want to make something people would genuinely unironically enjoy, and "first story is always not good" notion everywhere is very discouraging

It's not like I never tried anything creative ever, but this is my first attempt of putting it down on paper with intention of completing it, instead of having vague ideas of "I know what would be so cool when I make it a thing" in my head for months without acting upon any of these ideas

It's definitely a disheartening adage, even if it's supposed to take the pressure off young creators.

Unfortunately, no matter how good your starting point gets - and you can get it very good, don't get me wrong - you are still going to find it unbearably bad when you look back on it with experienced eyes. You might eventually circle back around to finding it impressive, considering it was your absolute first starting point and you had no experience, but you still won't be able to see its merit the way your audience will.

The thing is, your first project is going to teach you a lot of things you couldn't have known you needed to learn beforehand. This means everything you make after learning those things is going to be smoother in process and better in result. There's also just the fact that the more you do this sort of thing the more practiced you'll get at the mechanical side of it, making it faster and easier for you and leaving you with more energy to punch things up. Compare the Big Fight Scene from chapter 3 with the one from chapter 17 in terms of visual complexity:

Particle effects, ambient glow, soft lighting, atmospheric depth, metallic effects, light and shadow. The seeds of these ideas are present in the earlier shot, but executed in a much clumsier way. Fourteen chapters of gradually increasing complexity and just raw practice got me to the point where drawing that second panel was fun rather than exhausting. If I'd tried that in the first chapter I would've probably been so worn out just trying to finish the lineart that the quality of the rest of the image would've suffered from sheer exhaustion.

And even before that, those first chapters only flowed as well as they did because I'd been drawing hundreds and hundreds of video frames for years at this point, which had gotten my lineart muscle memory polished enough that I wasn't agonizing over every single stroke.

I was absolutely determined to start this comic off at the best level of quality I could, and that determination kept me kicking the can down the road for a decade. I think this was a good thing; if I'd started it any earlier I think I would've been a slow enough learner that the quality increase over those first few chapters wouldn't have been as steep as it was. And that first chapter was as good as I could've made it at the time; I didn't take any shortcuts or laze around, and I used every skill I'd learned over the previous decade of physical and digital art. Of course, if I knew then what I knew now there's loads of stuff I'd have changed about the way I handled the intro. In fact, I'm going to break my One Rule about "never going back or redoing things" and I'm going to walk you all through chapter 1 and what I would change/fix if I was drawing it now.

Remove the outline on the background mountains, add color variance to the further mountains so they appear farther in the background, un-muddy the color of the sky and make those clouds a little more impressive; this could've looked like a full glorious noonday sun. The forest was drawn with an experimental brush I'd created for foliage that I ended up deciding didn't produce the effect I wanted; I'd probably go through and use the technique I developed for Gleicann's forest to cel shade blocks of foliage.

Add at least the bare hint of buildings behind the sword pedestal - just gradient outlines would be fine, similar to the extended backgrounds in Zuurith. Also slap some blue cinder-y particle effects coming up off the sword. Clean up the shading layer so there aren't as many holes. Add metallic shine to the blade and marbling/stone texture to the pedestal.

Un-muddy the colors on this background; they match The Collector's color palette but that matters less than looking nice. The background needs something - speed lines, the implication of foliage - etc. The poses could also be more dynamic and drawn with more confidence. To show the power behind the blows, re-choreographs the fight to show more of the damage it does to the environment - the sword carving through rocks, ploughing furrows into the ground, starting to spark with starfire, etc.

Same problem with the foliage; the special brush adds too much detail, drawing the eye away from the important parts of the scene, and the colors are muddy to cover that up. Brighter greens and cel-shaded layers would produce the effect I actually wanted and be faster than hand-drawing every treetrunk and then shading them so they're indistinguishable anyway. Also, more intense shading on the foreground figure - a neutral tan shadow layer is functional, but it could look a lot more dramatic, and he's shaded much more lightly than the extremely muddied background is.

Of course, "if I knew then what I know now" is a meaningless turn of phrase. I needed to draw these pages this way in order to learn what I know now. If I had jumped straight into the shortcuts I've painstakingly developed without having had that intervening practice, the end result would've been just as bad - if not worse, because it would've been executed shakily, without the confidence that accompanies muscle memory. The techniques I used in this first chapter had served me well up til that point. The techniques I use now were built on these foundations. Lamenting that I could've done it better if I'd started now is like saying the pyramids would be so much taller if they'd laid the foundations at the top part instead.

There's a degree to which this work is sisyphusian. You do your best, you push yourself, and then your "best" gets better. At some point you have to accept that what was your best is still okay, even if you can't see it that way.

When I was working on this comic in the pre-actually-drawing-it years, I came to a realization that helped me get unstuck: "good enough" is a mask that "perfect" wears. Striving for perfection is a pointless task, and this is pretty well known, but it seems a lot more reasonable to just try to get "good enough" at art to guarantee that your work will be good enough. But if you unpack that concept, you likely find that your definition of "good enough" is basically "without flaws." Which is "perfect." Which is, as mentioned, unattainable. Those pages are as good as I could've possibly made them at the time, and they aren't perfect, and I never thought they were perfect, because I knew if I waited for them to be perfect in my eyes I'd never make them. I just had to grit my teeth, make them public and hope that people got something out of them that I couldn't.

There is a baseline level of artistic skill and preparation that I do recommend cultivating - figure and life drawing, anatomy studies, landscapes, reading Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" cover to cover - but there is no hardline starting point at which you are guaranteed to be good enough to make the story and art good. This is because "good" is subjective, and as long as you are improving as an artist, your own perspective on your old work will never be that it is "good." You have to trust that the audience that likes your story likes it for their own valid reasons.

The thing is, I know this is a bummer. This whole thing is a bummer perspective. Artists want to make good art and the nature of artistic creation is being unable to see your own art as good for long. If you believe that your art must be a certain baseline level of Good to be worthy of existing, this truth seems to be a condemnation to an eternal and pointless purgatorial struggle.

The most valuable skill an artist can develop at this stage is strangling that insecurity with their bare hands.

Trust your audience! Trust that they enjoy what they enjoy, and trust that they see something in your art, even if all you can see are the critiques you'd use to polish it! "Perfect" and "good enough" will tell you that your creation will always be hideously unlovable and must be hidden from scrutiny until it's "ready", but like all insecurities, underpinning this is the axiom that anyone who likes you or your work is lying. Strangle this falsehood, trust freely and openly that your audience is being honest with you, and while you work to improve on the creation side of things, trust that in the eyes of the people who like your work, it is Good Enough.

#asks #art stuff #writing stuff

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

I cannot even describe how much I hate my school.

I hate their policies, their staff- I hate the institution as a whole.

Rant below:

It's a for profit (read: expensive) school that does not deliver anything that is up to par with the price.

The ultrasound lab is tiny, with only 6 ultrasound machines. Two machines are pretty good, one is fine, and the rest are fucking abysmal. They are what is referred to as "non diagnostic", meaning that you'd never use them to scan a patient. The image quality is so low it's like staring at TV static. But I was forced to take my competency (scanning test) on the worst machine in the lab. It was so awful that by the end, I felt like I couldn't see anything because I'd basically been staring at TV static for 45 minutes straight. My teacher even said that the machine sucks and that when you turn the gain (the brightness) up, it only makes the image more fuzzy. But yeah, I was forced to use it on my competency. And I was the only one who had to use that machine! I haven't gotten my grade back yet but I know it will be awful. And if I fail, I will have to do remediation with my teacher where we go over my images and he tells me what's wrong with them. I can already tell you what's wrong with them- the machine is a piece of shit. Also if I fail, I will have to retake it, but I am only allowed a grade of 75. I'm not the type of person to blame my short comings or failures on things outside of myself, but come on...

And when I spoke to my teacher about it after class (privately) he brushed me off. He told me he wouldn’t penalize me for the fuzzy, subpar, low quality images- but that was only half the point. I was trying to communicate to him that the issue was the machine quality + my eyes being completely fried by the tv static appearance + the horrible quality nearly threw me into a panic attack + I was the only one who had to use that machine. But he didn’t listen. And I know that he won’t take what I said (what little I was able to say before he interrupted) into account.

And the rules... oh my god. Your attendance and professionalism are rolled into one grade that is referred to as your "professionalism grade". You can get points deducted for missing class, being late, not having your textbooks, etc. And I have to laugh. Like, I went to an actual university before attending this two year program, and The fucking University of Texas as Austin did not deduct points if a student doesn't have a textbook one day. It's like we're in middle school.

Plus, this whole attendance / professionalism thing is bullshit. They said at the start of the program that if you have to miss class because of an extenuating circumstance, they will understand. But they do not understand. There is zero understanding. My classmate's brother was just murdered. Brutally murdered. She missed class yesterday to attend his memorial, and they gave her a zero for her professionalism. You're telling me that the murder of her brother isn't an extenuating circumstance?

The school as a whole has no empathy or understanding for their students.

One of my teachers also constantly eavesdrops and polices our conversations. Even when we're talking quietly in a small group during break time, she butts in. She makes judgmental comments and has to lecture us at least once a week about how we don't have it that bad. She's one of those "if it was bad for me, it should be bad for you" kind of teachers. She's always like "well when I was in school I was a full time student and working full time and doing clinical full time and I was a full time wife and a full time mother" and I just simply DO. NOT. CARE. She just wants to invalidate us and what we're going through. And she does it at every turn. She's actually done the whole "oh, let me play a song for you on the worlds tiniest violin" bit and she thinks it's sOoOoOo funny. She told a classmate of mine that he "isn't allowed" to say that he's tired when he only got 5 hours of sleep, because she "only ever gets about 2 hours of sleep"- and she says it like it's a flex. Maam, you're gonna be dead and buried at 50 if you dont sleep. Thats not something to brag about. And not sleeping is not going to help us succeed with our academics. This teacher has told us to not sleep and to skip meals in order to study- but doing those things will only make retaining the information harder.

Plus, the teachers know how fucking stressed we are and they don't care. They know the program is really hard in regard to subject matter, but they make it even worse because they are horrible when it comes to scheduling and communication. First semester, we were told we would never have a test the week before finals because it's not fair. But second and third semester, my teacher has casually added another test the week before finals as though it's not a big deal. They're constantly adding and changing test/ quiz dates- and it's never in out favor. Plus, our two teachers always make it so that we have tests / quizzes back to back. We have class Monday through Thursday, but they always choose to put their tests /quizzes on Monday and Tuesday.

Generally speaking, it feels like sabotage after sabotage after sabotage. It feels like they are setting us up to fail. I'm dreading my competency grade. I'm dreading the next two semesters. I'm so miserable.

#chcp

[thedreadvampy]

not to be a dick but if you've been through actual university level art school and you still think that it's unreasonable bullying to be asked to push yourself or experiment with different art styles or to have aspects of your artwork criticised by people you asked for an opinion. what was the point of art school for you exactly?

when people say shit like 'my art school tutors told me my art was bad bc it was too anime and cartoonish ☹️' that may be true but I'm not gonna lie what I suspect happen is they told you 'you should work on developing a solid foundation for any art style you choose by pushing yourself to try more representational art Anne getting comfortable with ways of seeing and understanding images' and what you heard is 'NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO DRAW CARTOONS EVER AND YOUR WORK IS WORTHLESS'

and furthermore I suspect that you were really annoying in crits and took any even slightly negative comment or suggestion as a personal attack even though literally the point of art school is to learn to take and grow from constructive advice from your peers.

shout out to the girl on my undergrad who burst into tears literally every crit for three years even though about the nastiest thing anyone said to her was 'it might look cleaner if you rubbed out any of your pencil lines after inking and also used a clean rubber while sketching.' and guess whose art didn't improve at all over three years and whose technique actively got sloppier while other people were moving forward in leaps and bounds? yeah.

there were people who started uni as the best in the class and ended as some of the worst bc they just weren't prepared to listen to criticism or change how they did anything. and there were people who started out very mediocre and went on to produce incredible professional work to a high standard bc they listened and were open to change. and that's got nothing to do with who was more painterly and who was more cartoony or whatever it's just. when you ask advice and get something you don't want to hear do you chew on it and try it out or do you dig your heels in and do more of the same?

and like I'm not saying there's anything wrong with sticking to your guns and doing art the way you want to do art and the way that brings you joy. I'm just saying if you don't want feedback, teaching or advice on how to improve I'm really not sure what the benefit of art school is that you couldn't get several thousand pounds cheaper by staying home and drawing there.

(and I'm also saying if you come out of art school like BOOHOO NOBODY LIKES MY STYLE AND MY ART IS WORTHLESS you might. need to pull yourself together and say either I'm committed to this style regardless of whether people like it and I'm going to keep building on this style and make it amazing, or I want to make art that's more like the work people like and I value, what could I change to get more where I want to go? but if you lie down and say waaaaaah it's so unfair that my art is bad and everyone else is just more talented than me then bullshit. by the time you've graduated art school talent is not the deciding factor in the quality of your work. it's a question of your willingness and capacity to put the work in, take criticism, understand what you want to achieve, and slog through trying and failing to get a certain effect until it improves. professional level art is not an innate talent it's a trained skill, and some people might start further along the path than others bc of their talent, eye or training, but the distance between someone who's talented but unpractised and someone who's less talented but puts a lot of thought and work in closes extremely rapidly. it can be disheartening but if you want to do this professionally rather than for yourself you gotta feel your frustration, have a good scream and cry about it, then get back in to figuring out what you need to build on. bc we're all guilty of sometimes going HOWEVER HARD I WORK I'LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS MY PEERS but no offence if you just lie down and give up where does that get you? if you just start going 'actually you should all feel bad for not liking my work more' instead of making your work more appealing or finding the right audience for it, that's on you not on anyone else. what was the point of art school????)

#needless bitching time #i just. i don't understand why you'd pay thousands of pounds a year to get constructive feedback #and then spend the year treating any feedback as a personal attack #save your money my guy of you want to do it on your own and you don't think other people have anything to tell you #then don't pay 6 grand a year to not listen to other people's advice #saw three consecutive art posts on here of ppl being like MY TUTORS TOLD ME NOT TO DO ANIME ART BC THEY JUST DON'T GET ME #WHY ARE ALL MY PEERS DOING BETTER THAN ME DESPITE US ALL GRADUATING AT THE SAME TIME #friends it's not bc you do anime art it's bc they tried new things and learnt new skills and you dug your heels in bc anime is What You Do #but like. successful cartoonists and anime artists are ppl who've at least had a crack at life drawing and realism #to know what they're stylising and how #I'm sure there's some teachers going NO ANIME EVER but I'm p sure most of your tutors were actually saying #don't just do anime bc it's what you know how to do. try other styles bc even if you're bad at them you'll learn something #it's not just anime like. ppl who come in only doing photorealism are pushed to stylise more. #you should be pushed out of your comfort zone. different styles. different media. that's not where you're being asked to END UP. #it's a LEARNING PROCESS #like a lot of my direct tutelage was like. pushing me to do looser more gestural blockier art #use an a6 piece of paper and a fat marker pen for life drawing #or no lines only blocks of shadow #or use a 3 colour palette with no midtones #or draw 30 thumbnails in a minute #and the art i made like that SUUUUUUUUUCKED. and it's meant to. it's not meant to be how you work from now on. #it's meant to help you identify what you're missing and where your blind spots are #and what you can incorporate into your work moving forward #red said

[plscallmeeren]

C I T I Z E N S O F W E S T V I E W P T 2

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Request: yep

Summary: part 2 lol (btw I added some things to the request hope you don't mind)

Warnings: absolutely none

Word Count: 1.6K+

Wanda peered through the heavy oak door leading to your apartment, gaze flicking tiredly from one unusual carpet to another Eastern lamp. And yet, as she observed every object and decoration in the place, she realised there really wasn't that much around - less, at least, than in an average home.

"You don't have very much," she said simply, the Sokovian accent she harboured thickening as an urge for sleep faded the edges of her vision. Any energy she usually held for advanced English had already laid down beside her end of the conversation.

"It's all good quality. You'll never believe where I got this light," you replied proudly, gesturing at an orange paper hanging lamp.

"I suppose I wouldn't," she murmured, running smooth hands over the even smoother wood of an old armchair.

Her sight lingered on a rack to her left, standing out with shining blades against the cream of the wall. The longest in the stack of three emanated the unmistakeable atmosphere of magic.

"It's overwhelming, isn't it?" you said softly, sensing her thoughts. "Look, we'll talk more in the morning, I promise, but you're obviously exhausted and I can't say I'm feeling too chirpy myself. It's late. Get some rest first. We'll worry about magic swords in the morning. I promise."

Wanda hesitated, glancing at the sharpened and likely deadly weapons on your wall, but was overcome with a wave of drowsiness so strong she wondered if maybe you were toying with her mind. If so, you had done a mighty good job; making her feel safe, luring her into your home, into vulnerability. But she doubted it - and even if she was wrong, she was sure she could take you.

Then the stroke of genius occurred to her - why not just read your mind? It might tickle, but otherwise people didn't tend to notice if she didn't want them to.

She attempted, slithering past some initial mental barriers every brain requires for sanity's sake, diving deeper-

"I'd be impressed if you could see anything against my will," your voice filled her head, and although your back was turned, she could feel the grin on your face. "You're welcome to try."

"And you think you could get past me?" she challenged, vanity seeping through her as a last resort.

"Yes."

"Try."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Try your hardest."

A flash of images and pasts and thoughts and nightmares flashed beneath Wanda's lids, an array of concepts that made up Plato's idea of her. She had had no idea how powerful the feeling was if a mind-reader allowed their victim to see what they were doing. Nevertheless, although proving how old and deeper knowledge you could dig up, she noticed how it was never anything vulnerable, anything that could hurt. She still couldn't stop you.

You were avoiding them for her sake, even though she had provoked you.

You stopped. You had made your point and that was enough. She stared, but didn't say anything. You had half-expected the unjustified upset and anger of doing what she had said you should, but it never came. She seemed lost for words.

"That was incredible," she projected the thought into your mind, making you smile.

"Come on, I have a spare room."

You led her around the corner of the kitchen and up some stairs, holding the painted door open chivalrously. She curtsied in good humour, passing through.

You handed her a towel silently, refusing her help in making the bed, letting her watch from the desk chair instead. When she thought you weren't looking, you noticed - or maybe you sensed - how much she appreciated someone doing something as simple as making a bed for her.

"Good night," you murmured once she returned from washing up, already folded up underneath the copious covers. You would have offered her clothes, but her breathing had already evened.

It would have been so easy to intrude just a little, just enough to see why she was feeling so unwell. She would never know. But you didn't ever seriously consider it. You couldn't imagine the guilt of breaching her privacy that way.

You closed the door behind you, leaving the small reddened lamp on in case she didn't like the dark.

•••

Wanda awoke with a start.

She had slept peacefully until the nightmares had crept in along the edges, stains of blood and madness dismissing her simple dreams of life as she knew it or other cleansing of the mind. She forgot it all the moment her eyes opened, only Vision's mangled body still imprinted on the inside of her lids when she attempted rest.

She sat up. At the edge of the bed, two folded piles of clothes awaited her. One of them consisted of a red shirt and blue pants (she ignored her thoughts when they wondered which woman you had them from) and the other of a comfy flannelette shirt, sweatpants and woollen socks. She opted for the second.

A part of her was disturbed by the concept of someone being in the room while she was asleep and her not noticing, but still that nonsensical trust and arrogance overruled all else.

The scent of coffee invaded her senses as she grew more aware of her surroundings. It smelled delicious and perfect in that moment.

She wandered downstairs tentatively, stepping lightly in some childish attempt to sneak up on you.

By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was sure she had the element of surprise under control.

"Morning, darling," you greeted smugly, smirking as you briskly turned around, presenting her with a cup of coffee. "Sugar? Milk?"

"Oh, yes, um, both," she muttered, feeling slightly insulted at how she had been noticed.

You nodded, placing the cup on the counter and pulling out all she required. You stepped back so that she could add as much as she wanted herself.

Wanda looked you once up and down, taking note of your black shirt and black sweatpants, the way the melted together at every languid motion you made. You looked like you were dancing as you crossed the kitchen, back and forth, mixing together the batter for pancakes.

"Pancakes? How did you know-" She interrupted herself upon realisation. "You remembered what you saw last night, didn't you? Me eating with my family?" She thought she might cry at the memory of them all, but other than the salty taste of saliva it just felt like a problem of the past.

She couldn't believe how good she felt all things considered. Neither could you.

"Wait- Did you read my mind again before? Is that how you knew I was there?"

"No, love. I don't need telepathy to sense your presence," you humoured, winking at her playfully. She scoffed, but the smile on her face was undeniable.

"And... here," you said after a few minutes of comfortable silence, throwing the last pancake onto the plate and flicking the stove off. "Let's sit down, shall we?"

Wanda nodded, taking a seat across from you and snatching two pancakes at once. She could think of at least a hundred questions to ask you, but none of them felt like good opening lines.

Finally, she decided. "Are the decorations Japanese? They look sort of... well, not Western. And you. You look... I'm not sure how you look, but judging by your home, I'm wondering whether you're Japanese also?"

"Yeah. My mother's Japanese, and she raised me, so I'm more used to eastern places and behaviour. By the way, you don't have to hide your accent. I love hearing it."

You had picked up on how her accent had lessened by a mile that morning, feeling a little sad to see it go. She smiled.

"Okay." You could immediately hear the difference.

"Thanks. Anyway, yeah, it's a bit hard implementing paper walls, but otherwise..." She giggled, surprising both of you.

"Do you speak Japanese?"

"Yeah. Kesa wa kireidesu ne / 今朝は綺麗ですね." (You look beautiful this morning.)

"And what does that mean?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes exaggeratedly.

"あなたには決して分からないかもしれません," you replied smoothly, taking a bite off your pancake. (You may never know.)

"Звучи лепо, згодно, али волео бих да знам шта говориш," she countered in her own Native tongue, sipping at her coffee, grinning. You looked back at her, impressed. (It sounds nice, handsome one, but I'd love to know what you're saying.)

"それはあなたから魔法のように聞こえます。" (That sounds magical coming from you.)

You both smirked, tucking into your breakfast instead of talking for a moment, occasionally making a comment on the food in your own languages. You both loved the sound of the other talking, no matter what they were saying.

Eventually, you decided on successful communication, and in English, Wanda asked at least half the questions she wanted answers to. You replied to every one. Neither of you held back in your accents and only at three in the afternoon did you realise how long ago you had finished eating.

——————-

So much fluff

Fun fact I've actually learned a bit of Japanese over the years and about one and a half of those sentences was my own....... I know, I know, I'm incredible, right? Anyways looking at foreign typography always makes me happy tbh

I'm snowed into my friends' house and can't keep reading my exciting book at home how's your day? It's kinda a vibe tho I've never been snowed in before

Have a great day lovelies

#fanfic #fanfiction #new chapter #romance #marvel #mcu fanfiction #wanda x y/n #wanda fanfic #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda x you #wanda x reader #x male reader #male reader

[radigalde]

Okay, so, I started BG3. But this post is not about spoilers. It's about how it looks.

You see, I preordered it when it first became available, and participated in Early Access for most of its duration (except for two last patches). As you may know, during the development Larian abruptly changed the system requirements. And while my laptop with old GTX1050 was sitting comfortably enough in the middle of the old requirements, it's barely able to crawl under the minimum of the new version.

So, while the game was running smoothly with the medium graphic settings at the start of EA, by druids patch I couldn't even get to the first settlement because of the freezes, textures lagging in and out of their blurry existence, T-posing, etc. It was pretty bad.

Reportedly, the final game should have been optimized a bit better, so I decided to give it a shot and see how it looks like on the same laptop almost 3 years since the first download.

Yeah, I know that the cloud gaming exist. It costs money and needs a speedy internet connection.

And the game greeted me with this.

(Changed everything from medium to low except for the texture quality - it's still on medium. Had to say goodbye to the distance blur as well)

Compare it to this from 2020 (screen from another person with approximately same old settings, my screenshots of the old character creation room didn't survive):

Or this (mine 2020 screenshot outside of the character creation):

Same laptop, same graphic card, 3 years of development in-between.

Which is especially gutting, because the hair quality was really good during the first EA patches even on the lower graphic settings and older machines. But at some point the developers decided to change it, turning it into greasy looking pixelated something.

Larian, why :(

Some hairstyles managed to lag through into something decent.

Others did not.

The hair's reaction to lightning in this room/location is atrocious btw.

Even when the textures are fully uploaded.

It's a LED wig, I got it.

Comparison of the first model appearance vs after the textures loaded in is quite funny, though.

It jumped to the left version each time I moved the camera in/out even a tiny bit, loading the textures from the right anew. Each. Time. The same happened during the last patches of EA, except that back then the loading could take a few minutes. Now it's either ~15 sec or not loading at all here.

Tbh, after seeing all of that in the dressing room, I dreaded of what would I see during the main game.

But it's surprisingly better. Almost no jarring rounded pixelation, and no jumping between abyssmal low and normal version of textures.

The reaction to light still sucks sometimes. The hair pick too much from the light sources that are barely visible otherwise and don't light up anything else to the same degree.

As for the optimization: yes, it indeed became better. Still not the first EA release quality for me, sadly, but by far better than the latest EA patches. Textures are way more steady now: they still take a few seconds to load in during the big cutscenes, but it's like nothing compared to the previous mess. During the regular exploration gameplay character (and most of environmental) textures are always steady. I even managed to watch the full crashing cutscene as a, well, cutscene instead of three half-loaded frames that took 20 min to render. And I was running freely on the beach despite the falling ash and everything that almost killed my frames back then.

Also, it still doesn't heat up my laptop all that much, which is a pleasant surprise.

Well, stay tuned for more cursed images, I guess.

Isekai-d into a mobile game.

Oh, and Lae'zel is a fiery redhead on her character portrait for some reason, and other characters' hair is displayed like brighness/contrast +100. I think, something is deeply wrong with the dressing room specifically after all.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #min graphic playthrough

[snowflake-of-destruction]

“Surfs up. Hail Satan.”

It really wasn't as bad as Fat Gum seemed to think. The wild, joyous yell could hardly be heard over the rushing whoosh of the tidal wave sweeping through the city street--which, on second thought was probably what Gum was truly distressed about, not the wiry teenager riding the wave balanced on an uprooted street sign against all odds, crying at the sky, "Surf's up! Hail Satan!" 

Then again, the teenager in question was Eijiro's intern, which could kind of make him responsible.

Hail Satan. 

Live on the news.

Plus the property damage.

And the villain had gotten away.

So, alright, maybe it was bad.

"I already had a talk with him," Eijiro assured his former mentor. "Explained why that behavior wasn't manly." 

He hadn't known about "Hail Satan" being broadcast at the time of that talk, but words had been had.  Proper procedure and lessons on teamwork had been (re)explained. That had to count for something. 

Fat Gum rewound and played the news clip for the third time. Hail Satan. Not the most heroic image.

Eijiro should have just let Hang Ten be recruited to Shoto's agency.  He had gotten blinded when the kid had talked about what a Red Riot fan he was when he was highlighted during the Sports Festival.

"He told me you talked to him at the beginning of patrol too." Fat Gum spoke too carefully and still oozed enough disapproval that Eijiro was left wracking his brain to think of what he had done wrong.

"I usually do? Make small talk that is. Check in on the interns' lives."  He couldn't remember anything remarkable about the conversation at the beginning of the shift. 

"You were complaining about your friend's latest interview? How a soundbite was making the rounds out of context?"

Ah. Eijiro remembered that. Though it wasn't the out of context part that was really infuriating.  The Bakubro had technically told the man giving the interview to open his stomach, take out his small intestine, jump rope with it, and DIE --which really was more like friendly banter when you listened to the exchanges that surrounded it.

That was a normal Saturday. Suck on some car exhaust and die. Dance off the roof of a tall building and die. Dynamight was known to be a little hostile toward the press, and the reputation was deserved. What really got to Eijiro though was that the part of the interview where Katsuki had declared himself "gayer than Best Jeanist's acid washed retro age costume" was what was getting more attention--and not in the way where everyone was as proud of his bravery as Eijiro or lining up to throw their sons and brothers at him. 

"I might have mentioned something," Eijiro admitted cautiously. Had Hang Ten complained?  He guessed it wasn't very cool to vent to the interns about personal stuff, but if the kid had a problem hearing the opinion that Dynamight should be getting more support for coming out, well, Eijiro was going to try to not think too hard about any upsetting implication before he knew more. Jumping to conclusions wasn't very manly.

"He seemed to think it was his duty to get the media attention off of Dynamight."

"Oh." Fat Gum still looked serious, but now Eijiro was having trouble not smiling.

"It's not funny."

Hail Satan. That was a little funny.

"No, but it's hero behavior, being a protector," Eijiro decided the best way to deal with his smiling problem was to stop trying to hold back. He knew how to pick them. Loyal. Altruistic. The kid was going to make good. Well, once he got a little more fine control over his tidal wave. 

There was a moment of silent consideration, then  Fat Gum smiled too. "The agency has a history of attracting quality interns. Has done so for years."

Crisis maybe not technically averted, but all seemed well enough, understanding reached and the promise of a good resolution. 

That was until Hang Ten passed by the outside of the window, body surfing.

The third story window. 

Then he crashed through the lobby.

Eijiro prayed for the power and the patience to get the little deliquent in line.

Hail Satan.

No way was Eijiro that much trouble when he was younger.

#ficlets #ask meme answers #blah blah other tags #eijiro kirishima #kirishima eijiro

[lowhangingfruit123]

The 100 March Season Unforgiving I

Aight lets cut to the chase, im here to vent my frustations, leave it open to any random that may or may not skip past me a completely random person as well and their rants about something that ticked them off that day

Lets start off with this one person who decided to open their mouth and spewed some stuff that ticked me off especially in the moment the day where I have yet to have strong feelings for anything.

Like you come to this niche discord server complain about the highlights channel having low quality "this is my first time drawing" art and be such a shekel smear merchant while advertising about your own server and how OH SO GOOD IT IS AND DEFINITELY BETTER.

again lemme preface with that the niche discord server is a small place where entry-level artists (and forgive me for using such sterile and clean language because they've already got berated by some twat goat-boating on hastag-general)

Like OK artisque connosequr would you like a side of well oiled up muscular gay men with your plate of stick figures with guns or edgy mainstream content? does that fit your criteria of good art? "Oh but what about yo shi-" what about it huh? I got an art put on the highlights channel and that art was something I did on a whim, not the other arts that I have put my heart, soul, and blood from the amount of frustrated tongue biting I do, I really really couldn't give a damn about how you think my art is bad when even I myself wouldn't think its worthy of being part of highlights with my own two eyes before I even let that piece get off from my drawing board. Now its not the ego game that should be the center focus of this problem they tossed up about, its about the other guys who were just starting out and probs got stars in their eyes when their niche discord puts them on highlights (like an animation was put on that day I highly praise the effort that goes to making a difficult thing to make such type of content and no it wasn't just the funny haha two frames, it was a short little animation 2 characters some facial expressions, abit of more effort put per se.) So I think about that and I think about how it must suck to be in their shoes being "wow my niche art discord server put my work on highlights!" only for it to be called trash by an living compost pit I don't care if he draws like picasso or davinci that pretensious statement about highlights being full of bad art rubbed the hard wrong way (and compared to some artist i've seen in the highlights channel hes DEFINITELY not part of the higher ups, more like above average)

In-fact this is my 2nd time I've seen this person open their stinkhole orifice they call a mouth and I decided "you know what you're not gonna get to say that uncontested this time" I infrequently visit said niche discord server and I can only imagine how many times they come online on that niche server to berate ppl's beginner art and be an absolute smear merchant and shilling your own stupid fangirling server about a mainstream game a lot of people love. "How are they not kicked out for-" their horrid existence and ability to construct sentences without thinking for themselves or others? Its simple really, we just wanna be polite and not start up a HUGE drama about it cuz u know its a bad image and alllll uwu~~~

besides the server has a history of both terrible mods and terrible people (and I am not comfortable sharing such a history at all. I will share one particular experience though in the next post.)

In-fact after telling them for their compost pit manure of a behavior they get chummy with the server people, like? Oh so you guys have been definitely letting this garbage heap given two legs one mouth no morality or braincells what-so-ever give you this treatment and you're ok with because they preface it as "hehe its just a funny joke bruv chill tf out slayyyy yas queen~~"

You absolute bogus of a medical practitioner "laughter is the best medicine" I would have sued you on the spot for such blatant malpractice.

anyways that's about it see ya.

#vent post

[absolutebl]

With the new images coming out from the Cherry Magic film (I guess spoilers for anyone not wanting to know anything about the film and hopefully not you, otherwise feel free to skip), we were wondering with a friend if any (and if so, how many) BL dramas/related films have had an actual depiction of a wedding ceremony on screen? (Obviously most are not official ceremonies, but it doesn't have to be recognised by the state to be a real wedding even if it is better and hopefully will become the norm *fingers crossed*)

Gay Marriage Depicted in BL 

Ooof, where there was that recent one for Japan that I couldn't get ahold of that is all about a gay wedding (half the family turns up not knowing it's gay) because... Japan, and... comedy. 

Sorry I can’t remember the name and I’m bad at tracking things I haven’t been able to watch. 

I'm pretty sure, in BL, that 2020's Craving You is the first on screen gay wedding, depicted (in this case legal and everything). From Taiwan of course. (The BL itself isn't very good.) 

History 4: Close to You (2021) depicted the couple who got engaged in HIStory 3 (2019) getting married. 

History 2: Right or Wrong (2017) is the first marriage equality flex I know of in BL. At the time the Taiwanese courts had just put into effect that same sex marriages would be legal in two years, so the main characters plan to marry in two years. Then there is a flash forward scene of the two of them wearing wedding rings. 

This is the first example of two gay characters being legally married in an Asian BL drama that I know of. 

All of these can be seen on Viki. 

This year, 2022, Vietnam (Mr Cinderella), Thailand (Physical Therapy, Cutie Pie), and Korea (Cherry Blossoms After Winter - a FIRST in Kdramas) all reference gay marriage (legal or not) with engagements and ring exchanges being depicted, but no weddings so far. 

My money is on Cutie Pie.*

* comment reminded me Tharntype 2 has a wedding. 

I blocked it out. 

I blocked that whole series out. 

but yeah, whole last few eps are wedding 

All about Taiwan and marriage quality in BL here. 

#gay marraige #gay bl #queer bl #marraige equality on film #marriage equality #taiwanese bl #vietnamese bl

[rangerslayer-97]

Things That Will Never Be Said

I got hit with more inspiration and curse my brain that I can’t write anything that isn’t angst. For the time being.

Time is set where my Knight Guardian main Violcrik is the Outlander and Commander of the Alliance. Set post-Echoes of Oblivion, during the Knight only Alliance Alert "The Padawan Returns". Mentions of previous game choices during Shadow of Revan, Knights of the Fallen Empire, Eternal Throne and Onslaught.

~~~~~

WARNINGS: Angst, Hurt, Unrequited love, One-sided attraction, Minor emotional manipulation (I could be wrong, but I'm covering borders)

~~~~

Summary: Lana comes to terms that she does have buried feelings for Commander Violcrik, but learns someone else won the. Commander’s heart.

~~~~~

Dark Advisor and Alliance Second-in-Command Sith Lord Lana Beniko, the former Minister of Sith Intelligence walked the War Room as she sifts though data on her data pad from various individuals and her contacts. The Commander, former Jedi Knight and Battle Master of the Jedi Order, Violcrik Baliss was taking a much deserved break after the battle of the Meridian Shipyard Complex on Corellia. Lana worries Violcrik hasn’t given enough time to herself to relax. The Commander has always been on her feet, sometimes pulling all-nighters, drinking a lot of caff or taking a concerning amount of stims. Lana felt after Corellia, Violcrik deserves the downtime after running between Ossus, Onderon and Mek-Sha. It was one battle after another. Unbeknownst to the Republic, the Knight’s home faction, Violcrik has chosen to align with the Sith Empire. It came as a surprise to Lana, but a welcome one, even Empress Acina has been made aware of the Commander’s choice. She is pleased that the Empire now has a spy in the Republic ranks. Lana did send a subtle warning to not overstep their bounds with the Commander and that the Alliance is still an independent third-party. Empress Acina respected the warning loud and clear.

The Sith Lord understands the Commander’s reasonings. A lot of them stem from what occurred during the war against the Eternal Empire. Violcrik often confided with her about her gradually crumbling fate with the Republic. These words were normally spoken when Theron Shan, former Republic SIS Agent, was out of earshot. They knew Theron would try to remind the Jedi that the Republic is still good. Violcrik told her she felt her faction had all but abandoned her, the Jedi Order had forsaken her, though she always felt like an outcast in the Order. Lana listened when the Commander revealed the crimes she committed for the ‘good of the Republic’, two of which were definite counts of war crimes. The Sith knew Violcrik wasn’t like the other Jedi, she was emotional, passionate, will do what needs to be done. As a Dark Sider, Lana did find that as an attractive quality. These qualities often put her at odd's end with the High Jedi Council. The Commander admitted she locked horns with the Council members more than she cared to count.

It is enough to say that Lana became Violcrik's go-to for private talks, personal. The Sith advisor is good at reading people and she knows the Commander has a lot on her mind that she hasn't been able to get off her chest. Lana did suggest therapy at one point, but Violcrik laughed it off, claiming she didn't need to see a therapist; and seeing one would ruin her image and reputation. It was never brought up again. The former Jedi did open up to her about her past, it was one Lana would never wish on anyone. Alderaan is a planet for the rich, snobbery and being born out of wedlock can lead to a family name being ruined. Violcrik and her sisters were all but wiped off the family tree, none entitled to an inheritance by their father. From the way Violcrik spoke about her father, there was malice, there was anger and there was hatred. Such intense emotions almost made Lana dizzy.

During the war against the Eternal Empire, even up to now, Lana had taken time out of her schedule to teach Violcrik how to control her darkness. She won't deny there is a danger of having a rogue Dark Jedi running around the galaxy. The Sith Lord herself has witnessed several times, the Commander giving into her darkness; and many times, seeing her eyes change from deep blue to deep orange that nearly glowed. Lana won't lie there are some days she is afraid of what Violcrik is capable of if she lost control. Violcrik did prove as her short stint as Empress, that she will resort to using fear and terror. The last time she got concerned was over the Commander's reliance on Valkorion's powers when he resided inside her mind. Of course, they did get at odds with each other when Violcrik lied to her about Valkorion sharing her mind. It took some days to get one another's trust back. Yet… then she remembers the Commander went her way to save her twice and refused to leave her side during the breakout with… that's beside the point. Violcrik saved her twice and when the Alliance was set up, the Commander intended to speak to either her or Theron (long before he got banished after defeating the Order of Zildrog). Lana had a feeling Violcrik wanted to speak to her alone, but when Koth soured the mood; the Battle Master told them to forget about it and walked away.

The Dark Advisor knows things were left unsaid between them. Lana needed to know what it was. When they made love on Yavin IV after they defeated Revan, there was something between them. It wasn't just a physical attraction. While to some it may have appeared as a one-night stand or a fling, but it must not have been, otherwise Violcrik wouldn't have flirted with her during the disaster on Ziost. Though the timing was quite poor on Violcrik's end, the spark between them was there, fresh, a crackle of electricity that was about to spark into a flame. While the Commander hadn't approached to talk about her feelings, Lana respected that. She wasn't going to impose. Lana can't hold it in now after six years of waiting, she is in with love with Commander Violcrik Baliss. She tried to deny the feelings when Violcrik didn't come to her, so she held the emotions in. Now, they can't be held in any longer. Maybe the Commander was scared to come forward and admit her feelings. It is scary territory, to open yourself up and give your heart to someone. Perhaps... maybe the Commander was waiting.

Lana had tried to deny her feelings, but now… she no longer can't. Dark Advisor Lana Beniko is in love with Commander Violcrik Baliss. She's going to confess her feelings now. No more waiting. The Sith Lord turned to Teeseven, asking where the Commander is now. The astromech told her he had last seen her head to the Force Enclave, which means she's nearby. Lana thanked Teeseven, shut off her datapad and headed for the Force Enclave. She followed the Force signature she felt, small amounts of Light being drowned under the heavy blanket of Darkness.

Her heart was beating fast, Lana ran through several different ways to confess her feelings and not sound like an idiot. There was an unusual skip in the Sith Lord's step, both Republic and Imperial troops dare didn't question what made the stoic advisor so happy. Lana made it to the entrance of the Enclave. Sana-Rae was off somewhere. The advisor was about to call out to the Commander, only to see… it was Knight Carsen. She and the former Emperor's Wrath, Lord Scourge joined the Alliance after finally be ridding Valkorion and his previous incarnations, Vitiate and Tenebrae. It appears the Commander and Carsen are talking, Lana couldn't hear what, but judging by her body language; something was said to make the Commander's former Padawan disgustingly giggly like a young Jedi Initiate.

Then the two stepped into each other's personal space. Lana's heart dropped like a heavy weight. She watched as the two embraced each and… they kissed. The Commander and Carsen… kissed. So is this why Violcrik never let her feelings be known to her? Had they always belonged… to her? Then what were they? Friends? Friends with benefits? A fling? Is the Commander stupid!? Getting with Carsen, who is undoubtedly loyal to the Republic? Who is quite clearly oblivious to the Commander's true loyalty!? The Commander who is happily turning against her own faction! Who severely weakened the Republic fleet en route to Corellia and destroyed their newly built shipyard that could have tipped the war in an ongoing resource crisis!?

Fair enough, let Carsen be the one broken when the Commander's betrayal come to light. Violcrik will end up running back to her. No, she has to stop these thoughts. Lana is angry, that the Commander made her feel she was nothing more than a fling. At the same time, after the Commander went through her dark period in life after being awoken from carbonite, she can't do anything but respect the choice. Lana won't resort to pettiness, she will respect Violcrik and her choices, who she gives her heart to. It appears now, she must step back. After six years, the Commander deserves this. This… this happiness.

No, not deserve. Deserve is a crutch for the weak. Lana will take happiness where she can find it. She will not blame the Commander for finding hers.

The Dark Advisor silently slips away from the entrance of the Force Enclave, her head bowed down and a single tear slipping down her cheek.

#star wars #swtor #swtor fanfiction #swtor oc #jedi knight #swtor outlander #swtor commander #violcrik #lana beniko #kira carsen #sorry for the angst #if you're a lana simp you are warned #violcrik played lana's feelings #my knight is a player #no i did not break up with lana

[fandom-gt]

I wanted to do a continuation of the protective Five one because the image of Five holding tiny Klaus protectively against his chest and hissing like a feral cat at anyone who tries to so much as look at him wouldn't leave my mind.

Klaus isn't the only one who is traumatized in their relationship, after all. Even though Five's trauma is harder to see because it manifests in hyper vigilance and the need to be competent, he's still got issues. Among these issues is the anxiety of anything bad happening to Klaus- ever. He still beats himself up that he couldn't protect Klaus from Reginald and that he abandoned Klaus for over a decade.

So, when Five finds out about the night Luther got drunk, strangled Klaus, threw him across the room, and then left him dead at a rave that Klaus tried to prevent him going to, Five is livid. Luther has always been dismissive of Klaus, but this proves he can't be trusted. Luther officially loses his Klaus privileges. The only reason he's even still alive is because he's family, plus killing him would make Klaus sad.

One by one the siblings lose their rights to interact with Klaus, at least while unsupervised. This is before Klaus stays with Five full time. None of the siblings appreciate how hard Klaus is working to stay sober. Diego makes some disparaging comments about Klaus being a drug addict and a hooker, so he's out. Allison hurts Klaus's feelings when she's reluctant to let him meet Claire, so she's out too. Vanya is still unstable and dangerous with her new powers, but she also tells Klaus he was lucky that he got to have training for his powers and he got to be a celebrity, and he's at fault for just throwing those opportunities away; she wouldn't have wasted them like he did. As for Ben, the scene where he lays into Klaus for being a mess while he was bound and gagged in a closet after being tortured gives you a good idea of how he talks to Klaus. Five isn't having it.

The siblings all know that Five has Klaus somewhere on him, but they're not allowed to see him unless Klaus initiates. If they try, Five will practically bite their heads off.

At first, Klaus was uncomfortable with how vehemently Five defends him. Klaus knows he's a disappointment and a mess, none of them are wrong about that. But the things Five says about him, how Five lauds his good qualities (Klaus didn't know he had any of those!) and reassures Klaus that his mental disorders and coping mechanisms aren't his fault and they don't make him a bad person or broken, well. Needless to say, Klaus has needed to hear that for a long time.

They set up little places for Klaus around the house so he can be next to Five anywhere he needs to be. He has a little art and entertainment station on Five's desk, his own tiny dining table on the normal sized dining table, a cozy nook in the library, etc. But Klaus's favorite place to be is in Five's pocket, hidden away from the world.

His favorite thing to do is get himself off while Five is in public, but no one can see him. He likes to rub himself on Five so he knows, he can feel how much fun Klaus is having. Five likes to indulge him and will sometimes put his hand in his pocket to lend his assistance.

Also, Klaus has a masochistic streak (see again the torture scene), so he likes getting treated a little rough in the bedroom. Five is very careful not to hurt him, but Klaus's penchant for pain gives Five more wiggle room for pleasing himself as well. They both always end satisfied, and they both love the aftercare that follows.

-Eek

another for you TUA fans

#eek #tua #klive

[repo-net]

It's been over a century since I last shared an OC of mine properly here, so here's another one of em, lmfao. This little fella has slowly become one of my more favorite ones mainly because he's kind of a representation of what I was like (well, aside from his backstory) before I grew into the more social and outgoing person that I turned into mid high school, so I have a special place in my heart for him. Anyways.

• Name: Aoyama Nakazke

• Gender: Male

• Height: 161cm (5'3")

• Weight: 53kg (118lbs)

• Likes: Having his hair stroked, bottles of cola, cats

• Dislikes: The smell of garbage, belts, and being ignored

• Talent: Street Baller

• Birthday: May 28

Link to the picrew used to make the above picture:

Full body images: (left is his regular outfit, right is his gym/jersey outfit, but it's more or less just him without the jacket, lol)

Personality: Aoyama is a humble and caring boy, one that shows a lot of will to prove that he's harmless and won't pull anything suspicious. He has a genuinely kind heart, one willing to reach out to others when he has a chance to do so. Despite this though, Aoyama isn't all that he seems.

He has his own insecurities due to a lack of social interaction growing up and a lack of attention and affection ever being given to him, and thus isn't exactly the best when talking to people. His thoughts and his words, while self-deprecating at times, may contrast with occasionally selfish actions to try and survive, and thus leads to Aoyama's fear of being seen as self-centered by others.

Despite this though, Aoyama truly does try to make himself look as trustable as possible and tends to act on the good side, but his desire to survive can overcome this, and while getting close to him isn't a particularly hard task, it takes a while for him to actually open up to his problems, being rather timid. Gaining his full trust can make him very attached to you though, as he values someone who he thinks won't just abandon and hurt him as incredibly saintlike, and goes out of their way to defend them, even if said person truly is in the wrong. That can be a good or bad thing depending on who he ends up giving his full devotion to.

(Backstory coming up is kind of long and has some content warning for abuse, so I'll just point that out. It's nothing too complicated, you can summarize it in 2-4 sentences if you wanted to, but I thought I'd make his backstory more detailed.)

Backstory: Aoyama lived in an abusive and poor household growing up, his parents taking out their frustration over their situation on him, claiming that their lives wouldn't be as miserable if he weren't born.

They would constantly shelter him and refuse to ever let him out of the house despite constantly seeing other kids enjoying and living their life, and being someone who got the bare minimum in education via homeschool, he was incredibly inexperienced with talking to people, and to some extent, stil is. As a matter of fact, to this day, Aoyama hasn't even graduated middle school.

His parents would berate and get on his case whenever he made even the slightest mistake; and when he makes a larger scale one, his parents would beat him with a belt to discipline him, and this only grew his hate, for them and his want to go out even further.

One night, Aoyama simply couldn't take it any more and snuck a bag with clothes, what little money he had along with a generous amount of what his parents' wallet had and a basketball along with himself outside of the house at night and never returned ever again.

Once he left the house and had no one but himself to look out for himself, he had to turn to playing basketball on the streets to keep himself entertained and sane. But it was clear to him that he wasn't going to survive since he'd just run out of money sooner than later. So, he decided that the only way to really live is to play with other people at basketball, and gamble his money to get paid.

However, due to his small size and dirty clothes/look, he'd get picked on by bigger kids and he'd get pushed around and hurt a lot, his life became a constant competition where he had to constantly come out on top in the harsher, more physical street basketball environment he had to grow up in to pay for the food and drinks he needed just to live. But his talent for basketball from his speed, stamina, and technique would always help him defy odds and come out of matches richer.

Every day was a battle with other kids and every day he had to spend his money wisely and make sure no one would try to steal it from him; he was constantly paranoid of people staring at him like an outcast and he'd only trusted those he played with on the courts. His life for more than half a decade was just physical and bruising streetball that had him have to put his body on the line just to sustain himself in the streets. His only company during those times were stray cats, and the occasional teammates after ball games that he'd share a cola with.

One day while he was looking for a new street to stay in though, Aoyama participated in a larger scale street ball tournament outside of his home town, and he came out of nowhere as an underdog to win, defeating a mountain of larger names in the street ball genre and gaining recognition around the area. He was recruited into a major street ball team and after they learned that Aoyama literally had no place to stay in, he was allowed to sleep in the team bus + the team's dugouts/dorms.

Ever since then, his life has significantly improved, at least by his standards, he's travelled across the country with his teammates, he's gotten just the tiniest bit better at talking to people, though he's still a rather introverted and timid mess when outside of the playing court. His current goal is to win a bigger tournament with his team and use the winnings to come back to his parents and apologize for stealing the money he took from them when he left the house, despite all the abuse that he took from them, he wants to hope that they've changed when he comes back. That's what his wish and hope is.

Extra/s: His preferred position on the court is shooting guard, although due to his height, he ends up getting pushed into the point guard position more than he likes to admit.

He bought his jacket after he got recruited by his current team. Before that, all he wore were white shirts and shorts that he'd buy from low quality stores and toss out after a week because they got dirty.

His body is actually pretty muscly since he had to work on it to not get pushed around and hurt as much when playing street ball, but there are still some present scars on his torso, some caused by his parents' abuse.

Quote/s: "I don't really get how it all works, if I'm being honest. But if this sorta thing makes you happy, then I'll do it. Even if it's gonna embarrass me..."

"Hey, you leave them alone! You're just trying to twist the narrative on them with your made up story, aren't you? A person like them... they'd never do wrong! If you wanna come at them, then you'll be coming at me too!"

"S-Stop that! I don't know what the hell you see in me, but I don't agree with it if you're acting this way around me! I don't understand feelings like this, and trying to think about stuff I don't understand just hurts..."

Anddd that's more or less Aoyama Nakazke. Sorry that this was long as hell, it's probably not anything special but I like how he came out. Please give feedback if you have any, it'd be really appreciated! Thanks for reading!

#danganronpa #my oc character #aoyama nakazke

[funesgoal]

Undercover | Will Halstead (part 2)

Pairing: Will Halstead x Ruzek!reader

Word count: 1,777

Summary: Y/N is Adam Ruzek's sister but she is also very good at being undercover. Her aptitudes are very good for a cop, except she isn't one. One night she chooses the erroneous target and everything starts to go wrong.

Warnings: none.

Part 1

The Chicago police intelligence unit used to catch every criminal that it set out to catch. The other officers thought it was easy, but they never saw the work before the arrest. Searching for information, gathering facts, talking to informants. None of the superiors took into consideration their hard work, which was not done alone. Each and every one of the detectives in charge of Sergeant Voight put in their greatest effort to make the teamwork pay off.

But on this particular day, Detective Jay Halstead could not concentrate. His phone kept vibrating in his pants pocket, and that was something everyone had noticed.

"Halstead, are you with us?" Voight's gaze settled on him.

"Of course, sergeant."

"Well, tell that to your cell phone."

The boy's face turned red instantly because of the embarrassment he felt about being exposed by the boss, in front of all his buddies. He took out his smartphone and hid it under his desk, ready to kill the one who kept calling.

He was surprised to see that it was his brother Will.

«Stop bothering» He wrote the text as fast as he could and sent it. He immediately got a response.

«We need to talk. NOW. »

Millions of ideas crossed his mind about what might be happening and none of them was good. It could be his father. Will wouldn't bother him if it wasn't something important. He knew very well that he was at his workplace.

His thoughts must have been transferred to his face because when he raised his head, everyone, in the room was looking at him.

"Jay, do you need to go outside?" This time Voight wasn't being ironic, he was being supportive. The ex-soldier nodded to go somewhere away from the rest. "Thank you, sergeant" he said.

Once alone, he started calling.

"Will" his voice came out like a sigh as soon as his brother answered the call, "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I don't know" he answered. Jay didn't know how to interpret his tone of voice. "I'm so angry, how could I be so stupid!"

"Wait, wait" he tried to calm him down. "What are you talking about?"

The man on the other end of the line kept yelling things the detective couldn't understand. He asked him to calm down, one more time. "I have to tell you everything."

"It's all right."

"I've been robbed" there was a deep silence on the call. "Not on the street, not in the hospital. In my house. By a girl I met in a club."

Jay rolled his eyes. "I really can't believe you called me to talk about this. Report the lost property and get over it. It'll give you experience."

"You don't get it. It wasn't just a robbery. It was all planned, Jay. She injected me with some kind of substance to put me to sleep. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. She's turned the whole department upside down."

The detective didn't even let him finish. "It's okay. We're working on a case now but when you finish your shift at the hospital come down to the station so we can try to reconstruct his face and get an arrest warrant. Are you happy with that?"

"I don't know" Will finished the call and of course he wasn't happy with his brother's response. Meanwhile, he went back to Voight and the rest of the team.

Erin Lindsey was standing in front of the board. The images that were on it had been taped there a few minutes ago. "Julio Mamani. He belongs to the Latin Gods. We've seen him and his people before, but they had always gone unnoticed. They've cooperated with the police a few times." She said, pointing to the man in the first photo.

She stepped forward and pointed to the next photo. "Andrés Rivera. He has worked with the Latin Gods, but he separated from them in 2016. Our informants say Mamani and Rivera had fought and Mamani forced him out of Chicago. But one of Antonio's informants claims she's seen him come back."

"Do you trust her, Antonio?" Hank asked the dark-haired detective.

He nodded. "She's never lied to me. Her information has always been true."

"The question is, why is Rivera back right now?" continued Erin, trying to develop the information as clearly as possible. "If he left almost without a fight before, what's so important that he came back to face Mamani?"

Adam Ruzek stepped forward so that he could ask. "And why do we think Rivera came back for Mamani? I mean, maybe he forgot something the last time he was in Chicago."

"We know from this" She pointed to a picture with very low quality. The first thing you saw at first glance was the pixels. You could see that it was a cargo truck. The second thing you could see was the kilos of cocaine that the members of Latin Gods were taking out of the truck. "This image was obtained by Mouse from the security camera of a nearby pharmacy. All this cocaine, we could count at least 20 kilos, belonged to Rivera. He's been smuggling it into Chicago's Mamani areas for at least three years."

"We think Rivera's back to take down Mamani" Antonio stood up and joined Erin. "We're not sure, as I said, it's a theory."

Olinsky, from his hidden desk, made an important point. "And if Rivera ends up with Mamani, a gang fight will break out."

"Exactly" Erin finished. "And we can't let that happen."

Hank Voight nodded. He stood up, ready to give the orders.

"Halstead and Lindsay, find out everything you can about Rivera. I want to know every step he's taken in the last four years" the sergeant pointed them out. Then he turned to Ruzek and Atwater. "You two concentrate on Mamani. Find out about the places he usually hangs out. If Rivera goes looking for him, he'll probably do the same. Al, come with me."

Sergeant Platt appeared in the room accompanied by a red-haired man. He was wearing medical clothing and his face was unsettled.

"Halstead, your brother is here," said the woman, then she turned and walked out.

"Yes, thank you, sergeant."

Will Halstead joined his brother. He welcomed him with a smile, mocking him. "So... How are you?"

"Stop mocking me, Jay. I'm telling you, I'm serious. "

They weren't alone in the room. Erin Lindsey and Kevin Atwater were with the brothers. They both said hello, curious to know what was going on. It was the woman who asked first. Jay went ahead and answered.

"My brother had a problem with a girl."

"It wasn't my problem!"

"Atwater, how many girls you meet in bars do you take home?"

He didn't want to answer, but he didn't have time because Will beat him to it.

"I met this girl at a club, we had a couple of drinks and went to my apartment. I woke up today with the whole place a mess and no credit cards. I took a blood test" he pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket. "She injected me with midazolam."

"That's what you get for wanting to take every woman you see to the bed" he went back to bother him. "Kevin, could you help us make a portrait of her?"

Atwater nodded and got on with it. Erin took her notebook. "Tell us everything you remember about her."

"She was blonde, long hair, brown eyes. She must have been in her twenties, twenty-two. She was British. She said she arrived in Chicago just yesterday."

The woman was writing while the man was drawing on the tablet. Jay looked at him to ask him a question. "Did she tell you her name? Anything about where she was staying?"

Will snorted. He put his hands to his head, slowly denying. "She told me to call her «Agatha Christie» "

Then Jay and Kevin broke up in a fit of laughter. So much that Atwater had to put the tablet down to keep it from slipping out of his hands. Lindsey didn't copy them, though. "Come on, Erin. Don't pretend you're not amused."

"I am not really," she said, rereading her notes over and over again. "She just got to Chicago and the first thing she does is go to a club and make out with a guy?"

"That may not be your type, Erin, but hers is."

The woman bit her lower lip. She shook her head. "No, all of this is odd to me."

Atwater got in the way. "What do you think? Looked like her?" He showed him what the picture looked like. Will pointed out a couple of details and after the corrections, the man was sure of the picture.

"Yes, it looks like her" he suddenly seemed to remember something. He put his hand in one pocket and tried to find something, but without success, and then he went back to the other one.

Ruzek entered the room. He had a folder full of papers and looked ecstatic. "Hey, you won't believe what Mouse and I... Oh, hi, Will!" He walked over to the others and handed out different papers to the three detectives. "Well, what Mouse and I discovered. Every Friday night Mamani and a good number of the Latin Gods go to the West Meigs Casino. Apparently, they frequent certain prostitutes, one of whom is an informant for Antonio, which would serve as a starting point for us to go undercover."

"Great job, Ruzek" Kevin congratulated him.

"Wait, I haven't said the hard part yet. Mamani will be in a special room at the casino. The police could ask for a warrant, but, obviously, the Latin Gods wouldn't go if we did that. So, Mouse is trying to get away in and-What... How...Where did you get that, Will?"

Ruzek pointed to his right hand. The surgeon raised it in the air, showing what was in it.

"The girl left it at my house. She probably dropped it while she was putting away the money she stole from me."

"What are you talking about?" He said, but then he left his question behind. "You know what, never mind. That's a ticket to Room 11! Where Mamani will be!" the excitement was in the man's voice. "I have no idea how you got it, but now we just have to make enough copies. I'll go tell Mouse to do it. You're a genius, Will!"

Erin took one look at Jay. "You still think she had nothing to do with it?"

#chicago fanfic #chicago pd #chicago med #chicago fire #chicago #one chicago #adam ruzek x sister #adam ruzek #will halstead x you #will halstead imagine #will halstead x ruzek! reader #will halstead x reader #will halstead #jay halstead #reader #you #ruzek!reader #ruzek #halstead brothers

[milasartblog]

Gift for him

Disclaimer: The drawings that were used in this story were done long time ago, so i apologise for their quality ^^" (It was due to the reason of a too soon hype on them being a couple, plus a New Year theme ^^" damntheylookcringyabiti'msosorry><"). Still hope you will enjoy the story^^"

------------------

Usually days pass by without any calm and peace, but today seemed like the world wanted to stay in harmony for a moment. It was not that big surprise for divine creatures, but who would not be happy to have such days to spend for themselves. Michael and Lucifer were not an exception. After their duties, they decided to spend the rest of it together.

Lucifer: Really? Are you sure it was Gabriel?

Michael: Yeah, I was surprised myself. Maybe that situation with Gardener affected him a lot.

Lucifer: Or he just thought about how Cereza and Tom are close to each other. I'm sure that he is still not fully for us demons.

Michael: Just give him some time. Everything will be good.

They were walking along the street as they were chatting. The afternoon has already dressed up into the evening clothes and the street lights began to shine. It was pretty cool outside, but it didn't disturb angel and demon as what cold wind could do to them. While they were walking, Michael stopped for a moment and looked at the sky. Lucifer stopped too, looking at Michael.

Lucifer: What is it, Mike?

Michael: The sky is so beautiful tonight.

Lucifer looked up to see that the stars began to appear. While he was looking, Michael walked closer to railing. Lucifer soon joined him to admire the beauty of the sky closer. However, Lucifer payed attention mostly on Michael.

Michael: I remember how we used to guess what zodiac sign was on the sky. And every time Gabriel was winning, as he was smarter than we. Or just had a good luck. And every time there was a shooting star, we made a wish.

Lucifer: Yeah, it was something.

He said with smile as looked at Michael, who kept looking at stars. He was so charming and dreamy at that moment. Lucifer's mind was stuck with one thought: how he is so pretty. Suddenly he remembered that he was having something for Michael. Lucifer hesitated at first to do it, as for divine creatures giving gifts to each other is not something common and practical. After all, they could get anything by themselves, with their powers. And yet, there were unpleasant moments that happened in their life, so why not to color it with a little gift? He felt a bit embarrassed to do it, but the decision was made.

Lucifer: Michael....

Michael looked at Lucifer, only to see that he was giving something while not looking. He got surprised for a moment.

Michael: What is it, Luci?

Lucifer: It's a...little gift. For you.

Michael: For me? But you didn't have to-

Lucifer: I know, Mike. But I still wanted to do it. Those days were...not pleasant for all of us. Especially for you, and....i thought that this little gift can cheer you up a bit. Plus, just wanted to make something nice for you.

Michael looked puzzled and curious at the same time. He didn't expect Lucifer being like this. It made him worry about his state a bit. And yet he took a gift carefully.

Lucifer: Just don't get me wrong when you open it~

After such words, Michael began to guess what is inside. He couldn't understand what he meant under it, and yet he would not be surprised if the gift was something demon related.

But when he opened it....his eyes got wide. He was not expecting such turn of event. Well, the gift itself was not a surprise, but who would expect that he will give this as a gift. The gift was.....the necklace. A silver winged one, covered with blue gems.

Michael then looked at Lucifer, being stunned by such move.

Michael: But....why? I-I can't acce-

Lucifer: You can, Mike. It's all for you. I know you didn't expect it from me, as i usually don't do such things often even to a closest demon women to me. But it's true. When i looked at this necklace, i thought about you. Thought about how charming you are, kind, sweet, honest, in short words how incredible you are. And how i'm so happy to have such angel like you. Sure, not all demons and angels can agree with it (and honestly they can put their opinion somewhere deep down) yet. Still, i wanted to prove my feelings again like this, even tho it's simple way.

Michael looked at Lucifer amazed and stunned by such words. He knew that Lucifer was always sweet like this to everyone with whom he meets, but like this. It was unusual to him. In a bad way? Hell no. Nobody has ever told him such things, except cheering up words from his brothers. Especially like this. He smiled as tried to hold his emotions that were about to jump out of the heart.

Michael: It's so sweet of you, Luci. I honestly didn't expect it. I mean, in such way. You really didn't have to. No need to prove me anything, love. But....thank you.

He dried his little tears as Lucifer smiled and put his hand on his shoulder.

Lucifer: Nah, no need such teary moment, i still wanted to do it. Plus, if gifts like this make you happy, i'm more than glad to do it more. Like i said before, all for you.

Michael: Yeah, you're right. Sorry for my reaction.

Lucifer: No need to, all is okay~ Now, let me help you to put it on.

Michael nodded as carefully took the necklace out of the box and gave to Lucifer.

It took only couple of seconds to put it on, so it wasn't that hard. When he finished, Michael looked at him as Lucifer looked back too, keeping his hands on Michael's shoulders. Seemed like Lucifer was even more charmed than before.

Michael: How does it look?

Lucifer didn't say anything for a moment as caressed Michael's cheek.

Lucifer: Incredible, love. So incredible.

He said almost whispering as Michael blushed a bit. He felt a bit shy hearing it about him, and yet he smiled.

Michael: So as you, love.

Now it was demon's turn to blush a bit as he chuckled.

Michael: What's funny?

Lucifer: Nothing, it's just a bit unusual when angel compliments demon like this. Guess i will get used to it one day~

Michael: No, we will get used to it. Together~

Lucifer: Hehe, you're right~

They smiled as kept looking into each other's eyes for a moment and then, after couple of seconds, Lucifer kissed Michael.

A sweet, long, passion kiss that can make a person not to pay attention to surrounding. And it was really like this as while they were having a sweet moment, fireworks sounded in the background. Unexpected, but so great moment, just in time. Seemed like some humans either had a party or tested new fireworks. As a minute passed, Michael and Lucifer stopped kissing, looking at each other, being speechless for a moment. Then Michael looked at the watch.

Michael: Oh, it's getting pretty late here, we should get back.

Lucifer: Awww, that soon?

Michael: You know how it is with us, sorry.

Lucifer: C'mon, love, we still have some time~ We can spend it somewhere together~

Michael: And let me guess, under somewhere you mean either your room or mine.

Lucifer: You know me so well, Mike~ So, what do you say?~

Michael thought for a moment, then sighed.

Michael: Only in exchange that you wake me up in time.

Lucifer: Of course~

He smooched his cheek as Michael blushed a bit, but smiled and together they went back to their world, spending the rest of the evening together.

---------------------

And that's another story for our universe^^ Phew, that was long to write ><" I apologise for it, as i wanted to use all of the images here^^" I hope you will like the story^^

Lucifer and Michael belong to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane

#my art #oc #oc character #lucifer #demon #michael #archangel #gift #necklace #winged necklace #date #kiss #couple #fireworks #okaria et feria

[ixeliema]

Okay this is going to be pretty personal and potentially triggering so I'm leaving that here at the top. I'm going to be discussing depression and self harm here and I will tag accordingly. I will not be specific or speak of it in detail because a lot of people read posts like these at their lowest points and it does nothing but hurt already very troubled people to read.

These bubbles are covering an injury I inflicted upon myself at work today after my manager called me in to a meeting with him to speak about the amount of missed days of work I'd taken in the last two-three weeks.

How it happened doesn't matter. The only context you need for it is that I missed four days due to a contagious illness and one day due to a stomach bug that had me physically unable to leave the bathroom. I work long hours and in my store's home department. I work hard and never do things 80% or lower at work and it's exhausting at times.

Well...yesterday I had a panic attack that lasted for almost four hours and knew I couldn't work in this state. I had been curling into a ball, screaming, sobbing, (tw) pulling my hair.

I called in and my manager told me we'd need to talk about my missed days. Fine. I accept that. Today I dreaded the inevitable call back and when it happened he told me that two of my customers had filed complaints on me within two days last week.

One I will admit is justified. He was talking about gun issues and complaining that retail stores should sell guns, meanwhile I am from a college that was shot up and I am fucking terrified of guns. I don't mind not selling them. Especially in light of El Paso recently.

The other was a lady who noticed I was sweaty and tired after having to manually enter her discounts for about 25 apparel items because her digital coupon wasn't ringing right and it was a system issue. I had an injury between my fingers at the time and all the typing to fix the prices was pulling apart my scab and I had begun to bleed through my bandage. At the end of the transaction, she made eye contact with me and asked "I'm sorry...are you IRRITATED with me?" I don't remember exactly what I said but I said something like "no ma'am I'm bleeding". Well apparently 'no' means I'm still a bitch who needed reported to her manager.

The first...fine. I was out of line there. I shouldn't have let him goad me on. But the second pisses me off. Not happy because three strikes on my record is cause for termination due to disregard for customer satisfaction. This sucks a lot. But then my manager talks about my missed days and why they happened. I mentioned my sicknesses and cited a literal rule (if you are contagious or having issues with bodily fluids don't come in" at him. Yesterday I told him my situation. I was unable to breathe. See. Anything. I cited my mental illness and told him it was very bad yesterday. He kind of brushed me off. (Which in itself fucking infuriates me bc mental health isn't a goddamn joke!)

Then he told me to evaluate myself and whether or not this job is right for me. I also have a physical injury and I require a brace. Even with it sometimes I have sore days and pain that I can't control due to walking about four to five miles a day at work. It sucks but with the brace I can survive. I need this job to live after all, and I don't mind the coworkers or the job itself. It just sucks when I'm working 48 hours in a row with a lot of mental and physical barriers to my success.

He told me to my face that if I didn't feel I was capable of doing the job to quit. And then he told me he needed someone "more reliable" for the position because of the business' needs.

I kind of broke at that point. And I blacked out into a relapse of my self harm after the meeting was through. I pride myself on two things: my sense of humor even in dark times (comes with the territory of mental illness), and the fact that I strive to be reliable. My manager telling me to my face that I wasn't reliable broke me.

See I would be more understanding if he hadn't just told me that five of my six missed days were perfectly acceptable. But after he learned of the last one amd why he kind of shifted gears. And I hated it very much.

He's worked for x corporation nearly 20 years and no one will question his authority. He works hard and is pretty good with his workers. Honestly he's a little sexist and clearly doesn't think mental illnesses are a big deal, but he's good at what he does. So hearing an authority figure (the type of person I've learned to fear because I'm never good enough) tells me I'm not one of the qualities I fucking FIGHT for...I broke.

But this story isn't why I wanted to post it. Yeah I could rant about the rude manager and the customers and that dumb "customer is always right" mentality (which they could prove wrong if they just looked up the security footage for the rude lady!)

No I'm here because when I got home from working 2-11...bordering tears and panic all day and sweatier than anyone living in Arizona right now...I hopped in the bath for a soak and to give myself time to heal from the long arduous day.

My mind has been full of intrusive thoughts about my worth and how I broke my streak of being clean from self harm and how that makes me a coward. That kind of joyous stuff.

I sat up to get my phone to text my friend and saw that my knee (where my injury is) was covered in bubbles.

I don't know why...but that means a lot to me right now. Like...I'm taking care of myself after probably the worst day I've had since my dad died. I'm taking time to heal. I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my soul after a long and painful day. And it felt like for a moment, the universe understood that looking at my wound hurt me as much as the wound itself hurt. It wanted me to not dwell on it.

Obviously this isn't a magic "I'm no longer depressed" moment but for me, seeing the bubbles...a sign (at least to me) of trying to take care of myself masking the pain of my depression and anxiety.

Today has been a very tough day for me with a lot of manic episodes and a lot of depressive ones, and though I can wear the face that I'm okay...it cracked a lot today and I let my ugly side seep out. And seeing the bubbles covering my wound I deadass cried about it, y'all.

This tells me that even on your worst days, taking care of yourself and trying to find time to recover can help you to heal. And I wanted to post this because I think this story might help someone. Even just one person. Maybe even just myself someday when out of the blue I check my (very small) tag for original posts.

The TLDR of this is that this occurence kind of showed me that taking care of yourself...even in tiny, seemingly insignificant ways, can really help you to not dwell on pain as much.

And before someone hijacks this and says this won't apply to everyone...I know. But I hope someone sees this image of bubbles on a goddamn kneecap and thinks to themselves that they ought to take better care of themselves after a bad day. After a relapse. After feeling so defeated you considered suicide. Consider healing. Consider trying to help yourself, even just in one small way.

That's about all I have to say other than "fuck I work the next three days and I'm not stoked to go fake a smile as a cashier for 27 more hours even if I'm being paid"

#no I'm not going to fall into that mindset #suicide tw #self harm tw #depression tw #tw depression #tw self harm #tw suicide #you will be okay #i believe in you #depression #anxiety #adhd #bpd #bipolar #bipolar personality disorder #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #attention defecit #please do not read this as bragging #do not read this as a cry for attention #do not read this as me trying to condone people glorifying mental illness on this site #I'm posting this because I want someone to come across this in a tag and think #self harm #gentle reminder you are beautiful #don't lose hope #don't hurt yourself #ixey speaks #ixey posts #please take care of yourself #take care #stay safe

[officialinuyasha]

Official Art is free use as long as it is not used for monetary gain, and I will never ask anyone for money for my pictures, and I was told I am the only person that actually credits the official animators and artists. Each image of the anime is directly ripped RAW Japanese versions, that are ages old by the way. There are probably better ones out there now. Because had these when the English dub hadn’t came out on my Windows XP. About that, they should be in 1080, but since they were used into WMM I had to recolor all of them and increase their quality myself. I don’t like taking screenshots from YouTube like most people do. Not only do I increase the quality but there are assets I enjoy changing them from the anime. Most people can’t even tell it’s changed because it’s “that good” they say. The only thing I ask if you are sharing my edits, just credit me for taking to time to increasing the resolution, ripping, and alters. I do a lot of screen-stitching also. There’s a lot of them and some I haven’t even posted. But here are some of my favorites -

Besides that, I also like posting basic screen caps with my watermark on it. Because I did it. I don’t have to explain myself on that. Because it originated from my RAW rips, I have every right to credit the official animators and myself for doing the work. I see a lot of people post their watermarks on official images, even when it comes to illegal manga scan sites. I don’t see anyone complaining about that.

If you see my watermark on it, like Max’s it’s because I have his permission to slightly alter it as a Profile Picture! - and I usually have their credit or their watermark on it also whether in the image or in the description! Since Max intentionally made art for me also, it’s kinda a given.

I always see @redrobelover talk about bullying and certain fandoms. I can tell you what I see.

Here is what I see most of -

People “bully” others if someone is asking where a certain fan art came from - With absolutely no intent to steal it. They know they didn’t make the art.

But as soon as someone constantly credits each individual animator, they don’t care and the official animators are swept under the rug. These people are paid, just like fan artists. But they are way less known. I hardly ever see anyone talking about the animators of InuYasha. When they do, it makes me very happy and excited.

They also think it’s okay for someone to share Fan Art from a person that intentionally left because of drama like this. Basically, “this person left, probably because their art was being stolen and sold on Chinese merchandise. But I’m going to share it anyway.” And to them, that’s completely fine.

Can you see where all this hypocrisy is?

-

I’ll tell you all a story. Our friend was from Tumblr since 2009. I won’t give out her identity, but a lot of these people know. And she recognizes a lot of this toxicity and drama. She used to write a lot of fan-fictions and became really well-known. She was a very popular role-player.

She knows and can name people, can predict how people are -exactly- on here.

Well she actually left because people wouldn’t stop fighting, making fake accounts to go and attack everyone. This stuff is stupid. I just don’t get what’s so fun in that.

-

A story about me.

I had a friend on here I knew for years. She used to take a lot of my edits and I wouldn’t say anything because she was my friend. Even if it bugged me, I felt like she wasn’t doing any harm in that. All I asked of her was to at least tell me or credit me. Which I don’t think she ever did. It was always odd to find out from another person that she was doing this, or stumbling upon it myself.

The sad part was, I saw her as a really close friend of mine. And when my life began ta change dramatically I went and told her everything. I wrote a whole novel for her. In hopes that she was going to be supportive of my life changes and choices I was making during my transition and the person I am meant ta be with. Like most of my friend are supportive of it and asked me a whole buncha questions about it. They were happy.

Unfortunately I never got the ecstatic answer from her. Instead she ghosted on me and I think blocked me. I never understood why. But I was told it was probably because we have the same mind set in a lot of things. So I will never hate on her ever. I don’t have a reason to. I just wished things like that was better.

-

We are all a family. We all like InuYasha. InuYasha is supposta be a safe space.

-

Something I wrote in August 20th, 2018

My name is InuYasha, yes legally. Yes I'm the only person on record with that name in the US atleast. I am a transman. I've been on hormones for two years now! 💪💉 Damn those "emojis" look hella weird... August 2016 was when I started my hormones. Anyway. I'm in a relationship with @officialkagome , her name is Kagome she's a transwoman! I really came around on YouTube 2007 as TheHanyouInuYasha, now displayed as "OfficialInuYasha". I also run the FaceBook group "Official InuYasha Group" which is increasingly popular and extremely active with almost 5,000 members now! My sister really helped push me to go for the doctor's appointment for my transgender diagnosis in order for me to start my hormones. The series InuYasha really helped me get in touch with my true self, as InuYasha I see myself as one with. Being an outcast and having to make my own world was very, very difficult. I went through a lot of depression and anger during certain times and was told I could not be "InuYasha" because they told me I was a "girl". Just like in the series how the ignorant people also pestered InuYasha being half demon, that it was "unnatural" to them. I continued on, struggling as InuYasha. I started cosplaying InuYasha around 2005. I remember going to my neighbors house to watch it pre-recorded in Japanese dub! I was only about 10 years old. My grandma helped me make my first outfit. We made the top from a Wizard robe and Dancer pants patterns. I have gone through four different outfits, now 7 wigs, and 6 different Tetsusaigas. My current wig was made by Alichii from deviantART since 2004 based on Katie Bairs method, made from 3 different wigs. A historical wig. My current outfit is the Officially licensed VIZ Media outfit! It's my treasure. Kagome in the series really helped me alot to learn and to love. I have had many issues with haters, stalkers and copycats. Keh! But that won't stop me!

- The response @officialkagome wrote after me -

My name is Kagome, yes; it really is. InuYasha inspired me to share my own story. I am a transwoman, and have known I was a female my entire conscious life. I was told I couldn't be Kagome because I wasn't a girl. I was punished a great deal and abused for being trans. I was told I was wrong, and sick for 'thinking' I was a girl, I was invisible to everyone around me. I grew into an aloof teenager that thought I knew the evils of the world, until when 14 years old; I was sexually assaulted by three men while at a house party without my parents knowledge. My world fell to pieces, and who I was died. I spiralled, I lost all respect for myself. I never was dated, I gave myself to bad guys. I made horrible choices and I still carry the shame of what those men turned me into.  I watched InuYasha a lot then, and I found similarity in myself and Kagome. She was everything I always dreamed of being. Kind, brave, beautiful and pure. My first Impression of InuYasha was that he was a jerk; but I got to learn more about how he felt different in his world, and didn't belong. Before I knew it, I fell deeply in love with him. He saved my life and made me feel like that strong woman I knew I was. I spent the next 13+ years submitting to the fact that I would never really be able to see InuYasha, I begged for dreams, If I could only see him.. Meanwhile, InuYasha was going through the same exact thing. We crossed paths on so many occasions, even unknowingly, we grew up in the same cities, our whole lives lead up to us finding one another and life blessed me, and brought InuYasha to me in the most ironically fated way. We are BOTH trans! He gets me, And he waited for me just as long as I waited for him. There is so much coincidence in our meeting. It's haunting. He looks at me, a pile of my trauma; and he loves my broken pieces back together. InuYasha has ALWAYS come for me, and I may have lost faith; but I am glad I didn't. InuYasha found me in the darkness; and now together we move towards tomorrow. We have always been the same since the very beginning. We ARE InuKag~

-

Thank you for all the asks.

I will respond to each one. All will be animated, which I know they are piled up.

So send all Asks. Let’s see how fun we can make this -

-

- Inu-Yasha -

#inuyasha #kagome #犬夜叉 #officialinuyasha #officialkagome #rant #fanart #fandom #redrobelover #maxintoshi #personal #hurt #bullying #lgbt #trans #transgender #lgbtq #officialinuyashagroup