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pennyellee · 9 months

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CHAPTER III - ambience

LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU

pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au

summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.

Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.

chapter warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of God, sharp objects, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, mentions of death, overwhelming, violence, threats, drowning, gunshots

beta read by @chaoticpuff17

word count: 6,9K

disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.

m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II GAME OF GO CHAPTER IV

Ambience (n.) the strong urge to avoid someone or something

Her father was an intimidating man, or at least he wanted to be perceived as one. As a triad leader, he had a reputation to uphold. He needed to be feared. Despite being his firstborn, she was still a mere woman in his eyes.

There was a time when Y/N believed her father saw her to be more than just a woman. He had softened when her younger brother was born after she turned fifteen. Her brother’s name was Wang Bó Chéng, a name that carried the promise of great success. How poetic.

According to the original plan, she would marry Yamamoto’s son, and her brother would inherit their father’s empire once he retired or passed away. However, the young kingpin had other plans. Yoongi would patiently wait for her father to make a mistake.

If you were to ask Y/N if she was loyal to her father, she would answer yes. If you were to ask her if she loved her father, she would say she loved him like she loved God — an entity she believed in but couldn’t see. At other times, this would be a devoted proclamation, but in her current situation, it was heartbreaking.

The young leader believed God had led her down this path to him, and she strongly opposed His decision. Her faith was slowly fading, and all she could hear were the echoing cries in her head, tears of sorrow like a Lacrimosa.

“Tomorrow morning, we leave for Chosen. We’ll meet your father there,�� said Yoongi when he returned to the garden. She had heard about the famous Chosen Hotel; there was no need for further explanation. The luxurious hotel served as a cover for his less legal activities.

“Can’t he come here?” She hugged herself, seeking more comfort. Yoongi approached her but didn’t take his previous seat.

“I don’t trust him enough to invite him to our home, sweetling,” he honestly admitted. This was his home, not headquarters. He had brought her to his home as his future wife, not a prisoner.

“What did he say?” she asked softly. She knew her father must be fuming, despite Yoongi’s attempts to fool him.

“He wants to see you. He wasn’t pleased that I proposed without his presence. He wanted to marry you off elsewhere—” he scoffed.

“—I had to persuade him that an alliance with our clan would be a better decision,” he spoke so openly. However, she remained guarded, not letting him deceive her.

“Apart from that, I’m hún dàn for halting his plans for you.” She couldn’t help but laugh. Her father could be quite amusing when he wasn’t behaving aggressively towards them. He had lighter sides and moments when she even smiled for him. All this was enough for her to cloud all the bad memories. ’Always remember the good ones’ her mother used to say, ’it will keep you sane’.

“I have work to do. Can I trust you enough to leave you in the garden?” he asked, his voice filled with seriousness. Can he? Let’s see. She simply nodded, and he stepped closer to her once again. He bowed down and planted a kiss on her hair, an endearing act of affection perhaps.

“Be good for me,” he said softly to her hair before leaving her alone in the garden. She wasn’t foolish enough to run immediately, even though the desire to do so burned within her.

An hour. That’s how long she waited, strolling the garden until she spotted a back door. Carefully, she requested a warmer blanket from a naive girl who had no inkling of her plans. She slipped the ring off her finger and dashed to the back door, slamming it open. She couldn’t risk running through the house to the front; that would be far too reckless.

As she stepped outside, she was surprised to find herself on a street. A few meters away stood a smaller hanok, next to it another, and another, forming what seemed to be a small village.

There was no turning back now. Guided by her heart rather than her brain, she chose to go left, as anyone would when faced with indecision, unknowingly altering her destiny once again.

The familiar sensation of fear and adrenaline flooded her veins as she desperately tried to find a way out of the maze. She dared not look back as she frantically searched for an escape route. So far, Y/N didn’t see anyone, and the sky was setting down. The sky was growing darker and darker every second, and there was no source of light anywhere apart from the homes she was surrounded by. Panic set in as she realized she was running out of time. Finally, she noticed a small opening in the wall and quickly squeezed through it, just as she heard someone call out her name. He knew. She knew she had to act swiftly.

She ran as fast as she could, her heart pounding in her chest. It was eerily quiet, too quiet even, only the sound of her heartbeat echoing in her ears. Y/N needed to find a place to hide and gather her thoughts.

Once again, she instinctively chose to go left, down the dark street. Doubts plagued her mind. Was this escape merely a trap? Did he already anticipate that she would try to flee? Her dress clung to her skin, just as it had when she crossed the borders a few days ago.

She stopped in some kind of courtyard, a little park perhaps, to catch her breath. Suddenly, she can hear footsteps and echoing laughter. Confused, she hesitated, unsure whether to stay or run.

The first one to spot her, from the couple walking in her direction, was the young girl that hitched and stammered, “Seokjin?” Her plea was barely audible. The doctor looked at his companion in confusion before following her gaze, locking eyes with Y/N. The Chinese girl’s heart sank as Seokjin sighed.

“I’ll be civil and will give you a minute before I have someone report your location,” he said, his tone deadly serious. Without hesitation, she ran as fast as she could.

“Aish—she is only going to end up broken to the core…” She heard his words like she would be still standing there, but she resolved in her mind that it wouldn’t happen today.

Another crack in the wall assured her that she might have a slight chance to flee unharmed. She skimmed through it, seeing no other hanoks, a smile and laughter of happiness escaping her lips.

The gunshot that landed just less than a meter away from her petite form put her joy on hold immediately. It couldn’t be. She had come so far in that vast maze of hanoks. The forest in front of her seemed inviting, but she knew that taking another step would provoke another bullet.

Y/N didn’t know how long it took her to get away nor how long it was till he got to know she vanished. It felt like minutes, but it might have been way more — the village was too large. He had brought her here because it was more difficult to escape. Now, she finally understood.

Y/N has to decide now. Would she run for her life, or surrender and avoid the fatal bullets that could strike her from behind? “God, I want to live, I promise—” whispered she. Another gunshot echoed, this one landing even closer. She screamed.

“Be careful, goddamn!” she heard someone yell in Korean. Was this her chance to escape? There was no time to decide. Her legs are already moving.

“Someone get her before she will get the bullets in!” Another yell. This one sounded frustrated, tired even.

“I can make it.” She declared, manifesting her freedom one more time. “I can.” Determined to succeed, blinded by the darkness, she didn’t hear or see another man approaching her running figure, until he tackled her to the ground.

“You’re one stubborn woman.” A voice she had heard before but couldn’t quite place.

“No!” she screamed, desperately kicking and punching the man that was now dragging her back to her limbo.

“Behave nicely, and just maybe he won’t slaughter anyone,” he warned her. ’Will he go on a killing spree?’ She wondered. ‘Will lives be lost because of her selfish desire for freedom?’ Only God knows if she will get her answers.

“Very kind of you to join me for dinner, Jagiya,” said the devil, his voice dripping with cruel and cold undertones of aggressive sarcasm. Y/N was forcefully thrown into a chair in the open room, overlooking the garden she had been occupying when she attempted to escape.

There was an opening in a wall to enter the koi pond on which this room was atop. The lights were dim, but she could see his well-drawn face. The scar makes him beyond intimidating.

She noticed a young maid kneeling next to the opening in the wall, her hands tied behind her back and tears streaming down her face, her mouth gagged with fabric. A pinch of anxiety and sadness stung her like a poisonous bee. This was not what she wanted. She whipped her head back to address the leader who never let his eyes leave her. Never again.

“Let her go,” Y/N venomously demanded. The leader smirked. “It wasn’t her fault—” she began.

“Oh, so she did not leave you alone, allowing you to fly away, my little dove,” he sang, his aura intensifying, causing her breathing to quicken and her heart to race.

“Deal with me,” said she. “Leave her out of this.” In her mind, she imagined grabbing the chopsticks laid out on the table for dinner and using them to wipe the grin off his face. But she could never bring herself to harm another person again. Even when it comes to him. A vulnerability within her.

“That’s not what I want to hear from you, pretty,” he replied. The young Kkangpae motioned his hand in command to the man standing next to the terrified girl. The man grabbed her and forced her into the koi pond. Y/N’s eyes reflected pure panic once she realized what is going to happen.

“Stop!” Y/N yelled as she tried to stand and rush towards them, but she was forcefully pushed back down into the chair.

“I’m waiting,” he taunted, clapping his hands together, instructing the man to submerge the poor girl in the water. The sound of raspy, wet gurgling sent chills down Y/N’s spine.

“Please stop!” she begged him. The girl struggled, kicking, and splashing, desperately fighting for her life. But the leader maintained an indifferent gaze, caring little for the girl’s fate. She let his fiancée escape.

“I don’t know what you want to hear!” she cried out. Y/N’s eyes welled up with tears. “Please let her go!” But he remained unmoved, patiently waiting for her to realise. She had to think quickly, or the young girl would die.

“Say it,” he urged, trying to coax the words out of her. Her eyes darted across his face, searching for a solution. And then it hit her. Há dún.

“I’m sorry…” she choked out, her voice trembling. Having his hands clasped together, pressed against his mouth, he smiled. He extended his hand, and the man pulled the girl out of the water just in the nick of time. Not a minute, seconds and she would have drowned. Y/N watched as the girl coughed and whispered her apologies.

“Thank God.” She prayed. What if she had her killed? The thought of that breach in her path terrified her.

“Next time, think twice—” For the first time, she felt enormous fear looking into his eyes. “—I won’t be so merciful.”

“You’re so lucky we’re not married, yet. Otherwise, I would have to discipline you more severely,” he spat at her sobbing figure. Y/N didn’t want other innocent people to be pulled into her mess. She hugged herself, shivering from the cold wind blowing through the open room and the water nearby.

The young leader sighed and pulled out a pack of Golden Bat cigarettes from his pocket alongside the velvet box that was hiding a ring she abandoned. Setting it in front of her with a loud thud that made her flinch. He gestured for her to take it as he lit his cigarette.

“If you take it off —” said he exhaling a cloud of smoke into the night air, “I’ll make sure you won’t be able to do so ever again.” His tone was cold, his gaze determined, piercing into her soul. He desperately wished to win her heart differently, but his methods had brought them to this point.

“So, where did you want to go exactly? To see your Sire? The cousin who betrayed you? Or are you still dreaming of sailing to the new world?” He mockingly mused aloud. She remained silent, allowing her tears to dry on her face.

“Your father is on his way to Seoul to negotiate with me. Now, I won’t let you go, and, as a matter of fact, I don’t mind putting a bullet right in between your daddy’s eyes.” Yoongi declared and Y/N stared at him with terror in her eyes. She knew very well what would happen to her family if her father was deceased. Slaves to whatever clan they would fall under. Her father has too many enemies around the whole of Asia.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Y/N won’t believe his words easily, desperately hoping he was bluffing, trying to get her to cooperate.

“Oh, I would. So, I suggest you’ll behave,” he said through gritted teeth. “That’s the only rule you must follow Y/N. Obey or face the consequences, or next time it could be your little sister in the pond.” He took a drag from his cigarette, attempting to calm himself down. Y/N swallowed hard and shook her head, signaling her disagreement.

“Now, be a good girl and put the ring back on.”

Morning came sooner than she wished for. Her ears were concentrating on the sounds outside of the room that was providing her momentary salvation. He isn’t to be seen, at least not yet. Y/N slowly sat in the bed, pushing the thick blanket away. The room feels cold, the fire has gone out sometime in the middle of the night.

“Good morning, Buin.” Said new voice. Y/N fixated her eyes on a maid she had never seen before. ‘Has he killed the girl after all?’ She was worried. Who wouldn’t be. This maid seemed to be older, more mature.

“Is the girl alright?” Y/N didn’t think twice to ask. The maid ignored her questions, opening the window on her left side.

“Sajangnim is requesting you to have breakfast with him.” Said the maid, with a monotonous voice.

“Is the girl alright?” she asked again, slowly and more carefully. The maid stopped whatever she was doing.

“Yes, Min Buin,” said the maid. It got Y/N to see straight again. However, she couldn’t pardon her entitlement.

“I’m not Min as of yet.” She said, more intimidatingly than she wanted. The Chinese woman wants nothing else but other people to not fear her. She ain’t her father, or Yoongi. Such a soft name for such a cold calculating man.

“Sajangnim ordered us to call you either Missus Min or Buin—”

“There is no need to call me either, Y/N it is or if you insist, I’m still Wang.” Y/N responded to their statement that her abductor ridiculously requested. She made a mental note to make herself clear to him about such matters.

“I understand, Buin.” No, she doesn’t, thought Y/N. She will continue to blindly listen to that calculating bastard that is probably sipping coffee right now, soaping his hands for her.

“Today is very cold outside, I suggest you pick more warm clothing, Buin.” The maid addressed her again. The end of October is too close. If she will be lucky, Y/N shall be a free woman by next year. She just needs to whip a plan, without hurting anyone. There is still a very little, tiny hope inside her.

Y/N spends a minute recalling his words about this place. That it is his home, she knew. But that the whole hanok maze she ran through yesterday is in fact home for the closest and highest members of his clan, she didn’t realise. Y/N’s family lived far away from other members of the clan. Her father wished so. In case of treason or attack, they would be safe, as no one, not a single soul knew where exactly Wang’s family home is. Y/N doesn’t presume that Min thinks only of himself and his greater good. He might be selfish himself but aren’t we all. Wang Zimò was the most selfish man she ever knew. Unfortunately for her, she inherited this selfishness and couldn’t stop thinking whether she should attempt to run so soon.

“Please don’t try to escape Buin—” The maid was interrupted by another one entering the room.

“Buin, Sajangnim sent me for you.” The elder woman said. Y/N dusted her now clothed form and took a deep breath.

“Very well.” Said Y/N and took a first step outside the room.

It was still very early in the morning and all she wanted to do was hide under blankets and never leave. That wasn’t an option for her, not anymore. She needs to breathe this anxiety out before she sits by the table with him again.

It must be really cold that they won’t eat outside, nor in the open outside room on the koi pond. She was glad for the change of surroundings as seeing the place where the girl almost died because of her, could only benefit him in breaking her fighting spirit.

“Well, well, look who decided to join us!” She heard Seokjin’s cheery voice, and she was not even in the room yet. Y/N swayed her hips, walking to the low chair that was left for her to sit in. Her long black qipao dress with golden details is caressing the contours of her form.

“Sweetling, you gave my lady quite a scare yesterday.” Said the doctor, sipping on his cup of coffee. Y/N never tasted coffee. Her father was strongly opposed to the foreign beverage and strongly preferred tea. ‘We’re Chinese’ he was beating his chest, proudly. And now she is with the Korean enemy that has been fighting Japan's Yakuza rule for years now. Perhaps, her little being will bring peace to the clans after all.

“You angered this fella really good.” He continued.

“Send my apologies to your lady, it wasn’t my intention to startle anyone.” She said softly while sitting down diagonally from her so-called husband to be.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked her, voice low, filled with a hint of concern.

“Did you?” her tone capturing her sass. She refused to let him off the hook easily, Y/N has a full right to be angry at him for dragging the poor girl into this mess. Y/N will take it with the pain if she has to, but no one should suffer at her cost.

“I would sleep better if you were next to me.” Backfire, his words catching her off guard. Y/N did not expect him to be so open in the company of another person.

“I’m not your wife,” her voice steady but laced with a hint of defiance.

“But you will be,” he said firmly.

Her brow furrowing as if deep in thought. “Will I—?” She mused, drawing out the uncertainty. “It comes to my knowledge that it ends with ‘I do—’”

“If I have to hold everyone at gunpoint for you to say those words, I will.”

Y/N’s gaze pierced through him, a mix of frustration. “So romantic,” she finally uttered, her words dripping with sarcasm.

“Well, aren’t you a lovely couple, you two.” Seokjin chimed in, sarcastically.

Y/N rolled her eyes, drinking her tea. “We have to depart very soon, so eat, dove.” Yoongi said, making her roll her eyes yet again. However, as she could practically hear her stomach, after skipping dinner — having no appetite — she was indeed happy to eat.

Y/N felt tears welling up inside as she sat down in the Cadillac next to him. A scarf tied tightly around her eyes prevented her from seeing the world outside his secluded little kingdom.

“I’ll take it off in a minute, don’t worry,” he reassured her. But what use was it to take it off for only a minute? Wouldn’t she be able to see the rest of the journey? Y/N tried to make sense of his intentions, and her understanding came when he removed the scarf.

Darkness surrounded her as the car engine roared and echoed loudly through the underground tunnels. She couldn’t see much, but she knew they had already made at least three turns, left and right, navigating yet another maze. Her mind raced, trying to comprehend the nature of the place he called home. As if reading her mind, he provided answers to her unspoken questions.

“We cannot live right under the enemy’s noses. Nobody knows how to get here or where this place is,” he explained. She understood why it is so, her own family home was well hidden – but not unreachable.

“I was in a forest once I got out of the village…I thought we were—” she said, deliberating out loud.

“You’re a smart woman, my love, but that’s not quite true, —” said he and even in the dark, she could see him smirk. “—least, partially,” he added.

“There are several mountains around Seoul — under one of which we are now, but I won’t disclose the exact location,” he revealed. Y/N’s thoughts began to piece together, desperately trying to determine their whereabouts. And then it hit her.

“No…” she uttered, quietly, realizing that if her deduction was correct, she would never be able to escape unless she climbed high walls or discovered the secret underground exit. Yoongi laughed, fully aware of her epiphany.

“Yes,” he confirmed simply.

They were in a hidden valley, nestled within the mountains, providing sanctuary for him and his family. “I hope this puts a halt to the master escape plan you were for sure cooking up,” he remarked with a touch of sarcasm.

‘Motherfucker’ she thought to herself. Even if she had decided to run to the forest that day, she would have only ended up at a dead end instead of finding freedom. A tear escaped her eye right when the car emerged from the tunnel reaching its surface, the light outside shining through the front glass. Y/N had no idea how far they were from Seoul or Incheon. For the first time in forever, she wished she wouldn’t run from Shenyang.

“Is there anything I should know about your father before we arrive?” Yoongi spoke after a minute of tense silence.

“I don’t think there is something you don’t already know,” she replied.

“I know what others may know but is there something specific you know as his daughter?” he rephrased his question, seeking a more coherent answer from her.

“Don’t be fooled,” said Y/N simply, only seconds before the buildings of the city came into view. The young leader furrowed his brows at her statement but quickly understood its significance.

This ornate architecture stood as a symbol of luxury and sophistication in a changing world. The intricately carved pillars and balconies, the glistening windows reflecting the golden rays of the last of autumn sun. Y/N marveled at the grandeur of the scene before her.

“I want to speak to him alone first. I shall call for you once we’re done,” the young leader was keeping his hand on the small of her back once they arrived at the reception of the Chosen Hotel that previously belonged to the Japanese Yakuza. It was only later after the First War that the ownership shifted to Mins.

The polished marble floors, the grand chandeliers illuminating the lobby, and the sound of footsteps echoing through the vast space. Y/N heard about this famous hotel and its westernised luxurious style that combined several cultures around the world. It wasn’t so different from the hanok he resided in, but his house felt more like a home than this. She could hate him all she wants; this she can’t deny. Despite her hatred for him, she couldn’t deny the enchantment his home evoked, especially with the surrounding nature.

Y/N nodded in response to his words. There was no point in starting another fight. He led her to another part of the hotel to wait. Just as she thought she would have a chance to explore and search for a breach in his security, her plotting came to an end when she saw a familiar figure sitting in what appeared to be a sunroom.

“Mā…” Y/N said softly, tears welling in her eyes once her vision settled on her.

“Be good,” Yoongi whispered in her ear and left them alone. She did not take another second standing there and eagerly ran to hug her mother.

“Oh mā,” she cried in her embrace, listening to her comforting heartbeat.

“What were you thinking, my child?” Y/N’s mother said softly, lovingly caressing her hair.

“Mā, I didn’t know it would end up this way, I promise. I thought… I thought—” she stammered.

“I know my child. I know,” her mother reassured, understanding her feelings all too well. “You have to stand even stronger now.” After they sat down, her mother wiped away her tears.

“You are not marrying the prince any more. You’re marrying the king.” Any remaining hope Y/N had that her father might not agree to Yoongi’s proposition and refuse the marriage dissipated. She knew her fate was sealed, and she wondered if death was her only means of redemption and freedom.

“He is intimidating but so charming at the same time,” her mother remarked after a moment, giving Y/N time to process the harsh truth while she was touching the white smooth pearl necklace that hung around her neck.

“He could be a good husband,” she continued with the words Y/N never wanted to hear from her.

“Mā, he abducted me—” Y/N tried to argue. She couldn’t believe her mother’s approval.

“Weren’t you running away anyway, my dear?” the older female interjected.

“Is Father going to punish Chan-yeol and Daiyu, Mā?” she pleaded for answers. All of this was spinning in Y/N’s mind heavily. She couldn’t understand why they would betray her father and give her away to the enemy.

“He can’t —” her mother began, “Chan-yeol was never loyal to our triad, to begin with.” Her mother confirmed her fears, making her realise that seeking solace with them was a mistake that had unintended consequences.

“What about the deal with Tokyo? Won’t you be in danger, Mā?” She wasn’t curious, Y/N’s worry for her family was genuine.

“I don’t know much, darling, you know your father,” her mother replied, gently caressing her cheek.

“But as it comes to my understanding, leader Min has an offering for your father that may solve this issue.” Her mother picked up a cup of freshly brewed coffee, taking a careful sip.

“Ugh, this tastes even more disgusting than I remember,” she exclaimed, prompting genuine laughter from Y/N.

“I’m happy to see you laugh,” said a voice coming from the entrance to the sunroom. “Sir?” Said Y/N standing up, not sure how to address the man speaking to her.

“Park Jimin—” The man introduced himself to her and her mother politely. “I believe we have already met when we arrived, Mr Park.” Her mother said, smiling softly.

“Yes, indeed,” he replied, returning her smile. It seems that Jimin runs this hotel, as she discovered in their small talk before, he said words Y/N wished he wouldn’t.

“I shall escort you to our leader,” he said, smiling softly at her with a tinge of pity. Y/N wasn’t ready to see her father yet nor Yoongi. She could feel a knot forming in her stomach. Reluctantly, she hugged her mother tightly, not wanting to let her go.

“He is different, my child. You are no longer a princess-to-be; he shall make you his queen.” She whispered in her ear to eliminate the chance that Jimin would hear her. The older woman gazed into her daughter’s eyes one more time and said quietly.

“Be a queen.”

Polished hardwood floors gleamed under the soft glow of the sun, casting a warm and inviting ambience. The air was filled with a faint aroma of cigarettes and hard liquor. A traditional screen, painted with scenes from nature, stood proudly against one wall. Soft rays of sunlight filtered through traditional hanji paper windows, casting gentle patterns on the room’s surfaces deep within the hotel. Y/N didn’t know how long they had been in the hotel, but it must have been right before lunchtime. The inhabitants of this living room were not a company she would voluntarily choose to be in.

Her father was seated with his back facing her, and on the other low cushion sofa, the young leader who just outsmarted the enemy. She could smell the cigarettes more intensively as she stepped closer. Yoongi smiled at her for a second, and once he saw Wang’s attention turn back to him again, he smirked.

“Y/N,” he said softly, encouraging her to sit with him. She needed a nudge from Jimin to make the steps toward him, sitting right next to him and facing her father. She stared directly into his eyes as the older male tried to read her and assess her demeanour.

“Who helped you?” her father broke into the silence. Y/N shook her head, smiling softly out of despair.

“Is this what you seek to know?” she replied with a tone he couldn’t recognise. Of course, she was the most rebellious child he had fathered, but he couldn’t overlook the change in her.

“Oh, I apologise. Are you alright my dear child?” he said mockingly, touching his heart. He did care about her, however he had never shown her the kind of love, to make her stronger. Or at least, that was Wang Zimò’s narrative of his truth.

The young leader carefully watched their interaction, sipping on his drink. “How long did you know?” her father asked her yet another ridiculous and ambiguous question.

“Know what exactly? I have no idea what you have in your mind,” she replied stoically, falling into her habit of speaking to her father this way. There was no use to argue with him.

“Are you playing stupid to protect someone?” said her father, smashing his drink to the conference table that divided them.

“She did not know, sir,” said a third party in the room, standing diagonally from her father. Kai. Her cousin. She did not expect him to be here.

“So, your mother did not reveal this wicked plan to her,” He spat out. ’Auntie?’ she thought in her head.

“What are you talking about?!” she raised her voice, an octave higher, drawing attention to her question. Her father laughed and scoffed in disbelief.

“My dear sister seemed to plot behind my back to marry you off to this bastard.” Yoongi only rolled his eyes at the insult thrown his way. In any other scenario, he would have his head. The young leader couldn’t do so. At least, not yet.

“I’m confused,” Y/N said, looking at all of them, searching for an explanation.

“She made a deal with him, and in exchange, you’re the peace offering to Min’s clan. She turned her back to Yamamoto’s without my knowledge,” her father explained angrily.

She would never marry that Tokyo boy. Her head started to spin. “Why wouldn’t she tell me…” she whispered, about to break down.

“If I knew she would abuse my love for her, I would never allow you to study and marry you off right away,” her father scoffed.

“You two were far too close to each other. Tell me the truth daughter, did you know?” he raised his voice at her, only forcing Y/N to shake her head yet again.

She’s not here anymore to explain it to her from point A to Z. Y/N was only instructed to run once her aunt rested her eyes for this lifetime. She only knew that with her aunt being gone, the arranged marriage to Yamamoto’s son would follow right away.

‘Don’t be fooled,’ echoed in her head, and she hoped that Yoongi remembered her words.

“Well—” her father clapped his hands, standing up “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s said and done.” He moved closer to the fireplace, ready to approach his daughter.

‘Don’t be fooled,’ the voice in her head echoed again. “Are you alright, love?” Yoongi whispered to her. She shook her head in denial, trying to breathe but suddenly feeling suffocated.

“We’ll be on our way. The wedding ceremony will be held at our premises,” said her father, closing the distance between them and approaching her daughter.

“We’re leaving Y/N.” If she wasn’t confused enough, she was even more so now. Her mind was screaming inside.

‘Do not return to China’ her aunt’s words urged in her head. She knew it was a trap, if Yoongi would let her leave with her father, they would likely send soldiers the very next moment they would be out of the enemy’s territory. She warned her that her father wouldn’t give in without a fight. Perhaps, this is a trait she inherited too.

‘Don’t be fooled,’ she never prayed harder for him to realise what his father was doing. Damn the freedom, it could wait. By returning to China, she wouldn’t have a chance to escape again.

“We have not agreed on that. My fiancé will be staying with us,” the younger leader said coldly. Y/N looked at Kai with pleading eyes. Now or never. She stood up and ran towards Kai who expected her to pull such a stunt. Y/N never took it lying down.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get far, sadly. Her father grabbed her by her long hair in a tight grip, causing her to fall to her knees with a painful cry.

Y/N could hear the sound of guns being drawn too loudly. Panic overtook her body as everyone started screaming and aiming for each other’s heads. She was shredding inside. Y/N’s father didn’t release the grip on her hair, no matter how much she cried. The young leader wanted to murder him and paint the walls with his blood for touching her.

“Let her go, uncle,” she heard her cousin’s voice, which made her thoughts stop. Y/N could feel how her father tensed up when his kin put a gun to his head. She looked at Yoongi in confusion, tears in her eyes making her vision a little blurry.

“It was you! You fucking traitorous dog! You helped her!” her father screamed fanatically, his eyes wide and face red.

“You wretched little ungrateful rats!” her father screamed, tugging her closer to him. “I’m taking my daughter home, and once you come to your senses, we shall deal with the wedding.”

The leader didn’t lower his gun. “And I said, she is staying with me,” he stated, more determined than ever to keep his word. She could hear the music in her ears again as tears of sorrow streamed down her cheeks. Mourning herself.

‘Be a queen’ her mother’s words echoed in her head. She has to decide now.

‘God help me. I shall follow your testament if you help me one more time,’ she prayed. The shining silver blade lying on a stack of papers on the conference table caught her eye. The metal gleamed, reflecting the surrounding light. The blade, slim and graceful, tapered to a refined point.

‘Don’t be fooled.’

‘Be a queen.’

Voices screamed in her mind. She acted quickly, grabbing the sharp letter opener, and cutting her hair off right where her father’s hand was wrapped, holding them punishingly tightly, making contact with his knuckles.

Y/N felt her head freed from his grasp, and stood up quickly, stumbling into Yoongi’s awaiting form. A silence fell upon them all. Everyone stared with astonishment at the young mistress.

Wang Zimò was surprised too. Shocked even. He gazed at the black, soft hair that was still in his fist and slowly raised his eyes to his daughter and his enemy.

His daughter and his enemy.

“Is this your decision? You want to be a traitor?!” he said with venom in his words.

“I’m no traitor when my loyalty doesn’t lie with you anymore.” Y/N proclaimed, even though she knew it would only draw the young leader closer to her. He was indeed very proud of her at this moment — holding her with his free hand and covering her shaking body partially. Hearing her words, made him push her to his back even closer.

“Very well,” Wang Zimò seethed. He hated to lose, but he knew better than to start another fight right now. “I shall see you at the wedding, daughter,” he said coldly, letting her cut hair fall to the ground, and took the first steps towards the door.

“Kai let’s go. I shall deal with you at home.” He spat, not even looking back.

“You do not command me no more, uncle,” said Kai, standing his ground.

“What did you say?!” The elder Wang turned back to him.

“Mother’s dying wish was for me to stand with Y/N and Mins,” he said, not even looking into his eyes. Y/N’s breath hitched again. Now she understood Kai’s betrayal of her father. Firstly, when he helped her escape and now when he pointed his gun at his head for hurting her.

Her father was furious, but he couldn’t do anything about it. The dying wish was to be honoured by the family, no matter what. His sister had known exactly what she was doing in her lifetime and beyond.

He clenched his fist, his anger reverberating through the room as his knuckles collided with the nearby wall. The force of the impact made Y/N flinch within the firm grip of the young leader.

“I’m proud of you, daughter,” he unexpectedly said, his words hanging in the air, surprising everyone. Her father never uttered such words. Her eyes widened in disbelief. But his next words shattered any hope of genuine warmth.

“You escaped me and outsmarted me. I’m truly mesmerised by how you’ve finally grown to a person who can stand up to me,” his tone devoid of any affection.

“Shame you were born female,” he sneered, his words dripping with misogyny. Disgust flashed in her eyes as she stared at him.

“Will you outsmart and escape him?”

A question she doesn’t have an answer to.

A battle she had yet to fully think through.

I N T E R L O G U E

“You are a thorn in my side, Mr Min,” said the older man to the scarred leader of this territory. Yoongi stood by the window, a glass in his hand, his arm stretched out to touch the wall next to it. He was looking over at the Wongudan, the Temple of Heaven, which stood proudly just meters away from the hotel. A place he couldn’t wait to stand at the altar, tying the knot with his beloved.

“And I won’t be for much longer if you agree to my terms,” he positioned himself to face the Chinese triad leader.

“My own kin betrayed me. My sister,” the older male said in disbelief, as if he were talking more to himself than to Yoongi.

“Your sister was a very wise woman. She knew that this was the better option.”

“You slaughtered my men—”

“And you slaughtered mine. My father within them, may I add,” Yoongi interjected, growing angrier with each passing moment. He felt the pain in his chest, remembering the day his father passed away.

“I have every reason to kill you and your clan—”

“Y/N is part of our clan too, boy,” he retorted, attempting to ridicule him. Wang Zemo could not oversee the young leader’s affections towards his daughter. From the way he spoke about her to the visible tense of his body once her name was uttered.

“That would change sooner or later,” said Yoongi, his determination shining through yet again.

“She is hard to manage. Are you sure you want a wife who will constantly challenge you?” He pushed his round eyeglasses up.

“I have my ways to humble her,” he replied, knowing well that he would have to assert his authority to make her a fine wife. A loving one, perhaps, in time. She had been allowed to spread her wings too far for his liking, encouraging her to disobey any authority, not just him.

“You must have been in my sister’s favour when she gave you Y/N, knowing that she was betraying her clan.”

“Or saving you, Mr Wang. Her ulterior motive was to save your clan—”

“That could have been ensured in the treaty with Yamamotos.”

“Do you really think that would work out? They’re Japanese, too proud to be the ruling country.”

“—not for much longer. Least according to your master plan, you made with my beloved sister.” he said, mocking the entire situation.

The young leader remembered and strongly believed the words of the older female that loved his bride so dearly. She would never do anything that would hurt her, and he wished Y/N will understand that and come along once she will get the know the truth.

“If a single thing goes wrong in your little plan, Mr Min, you’re as good as dead.”

“The same goes for you, Mr Wang,” Yoongi replied, his voice filled with unwavering resolve.

to be continued

author’s note: uf, I hope you had some time to process the two previous chapters in and I promise I'll let you breathe out before I'll throw chapter four at ya ♥

Thank you so much for any comment, reblog or simply showing love to this fic. It means the world to me ♥ Let's join a hate train for Y/N's father together, he makes Yoongi look like the good guy here, whatcha think?

Also I tried to add everyone who asked to the tag list, and if you want to be in too or you ain't tagged properly, comment or dm ♥ For some undisclosed reason, I cannot tagg few accounts, if someone knows why, pls hit me up.

Sending a big shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta reading this chapter!

Love you!!!!

Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥

keep in mind - I'm not expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.

let's be friends chummers ♥

lots of love,

𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊

taglist: @beautifulcloudfestival @chaoticpuff17 @honsoolgloss @jingerbreadoutofstock @moscow778 @januara26 @dinosolecito @yoongislatinagff @xyahrinx @hi12345567 @nochuel @deltamoon666 @bbkissme99 @darkuni63 @nansasa @sazsazsaz @missmin @strxwbloody @royallyjjk @jaiuneamesolitaiire @shadowyjellyfishfest @bbgniecyy @elayne321 @seojunandsoju @bun-27 @whipwhoops @wobblewobble822 @haneyyy @whofan88

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ataraxiaspainting · 5 months

Text

Hier Encore IV.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

[Hier Encore III.]

Synopsis: Yorknew Police Department Headquarters, 1995, April 10th. You are a director of public safety. The Phantom Troupe attacks the headquarters and takes you under the guise of a hostage situation. Even when the ransom is paid, you are never returned and assumed to be dead. After thirteen months of captivity, in 1996, on May 9th, you escape and try to learn how to live again somewhere far away from your captor. The payment of freedom comes with a steep cost, one that stains your hands so much that even if you drown them in bleach, the stain will remain there for the rest of your life.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, the reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns respectively, not SFW implications, misogynistic undertones (not from Chrollo), unhealthy relationships, manipulation o’clock, body transformation (not on the reader), references to religion, violence/gore, minor character death, and stalking.

Word Count: 5.9k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

4:00 A.M. by Taeko Onuki

My Girlfriend Is a Witch by October Country

Michelle by Sir Chloe

Sonne by Rammstein

Enemy by Imagine Dragons

Venus Fly Trap by MARINA

Maneater by Nelly Furtado

cult leader by KiNG MALA

Teacher’s Pet by Melanie Martinez

“She looked like a vixen, and that’s what she was; she had all the instincts of a female fox. She was the proverbial predatory female. She had what she wanted, now, and she was content. There was just the getting completely away with it that counted.” – Gil Brewer, Sin for Me

iv. “I must be cruel, only to be kind.”

“Greetings.”

One emotion comes after another on Sebastian's face: confusion, fear, distrust, and many more.

“Hello.” His voice is tight. “Do you need something?” He asks, putting his hands on the doorframe as a precaution.

“I have just come to ask you a few questions.” Chrollo answers, his voice as calm and collected as always. He isn’t even looking at Sebaste, his focus is placed on the inside of the cottage. He knows that you are here.

“Like what?” Sebaste asks, his body tensing up.

“My dear, come out.” He calls out to you, his voice as soft as it usually is.

“I’m sorry?” Sebaste questions, his shoulders strained upwards. “I’m right here.”

Chrollo pays him no mind, instead still looking over Sebastian's shoulder. He hums, looking at one object in the living room at a time. The black sofa by the television was old with the bottom left corner of it torn, white stuffing no longer being covered there in that spot. The carpet below Sebastian’s feet, the colors fading because of age. The creaky poplar floorboards. The pots of plants where the kitchen’s checkered tiles and the living room’s wooden planks meet, where you are hiding. Your eyes meet and his eyes are as empty as ever, perhaps even emptier, like black holes in the ground that aim to swallow you whole.

“Come out, my love.” He repeats himself, his tone sickeningly sweet to the point of mockery.

“Excuse me?” Sebaste asks, his voice slightly cracking.

“Dearest.” His gaze is still on you. It is intense and you feel a pressure on your neck like you are being strangled by him. You can’t breathe.

“I’m here.” Sebaste moves his hands downwards on the doorframe. “I’m right here.” His eyebrows furrow. “I’m right here. Don’t ignore me.” He’s upset.

“Hmm.” He leans in slightly. “She hasn’t told you anything, has she?”

You can see Sebastian's feet through the leaves of the tall plants take a step or two back at Chrollo’s question. “What?”

He still is not making eye contact with Sebaste. “Honestly, I expected that you would have left her by now, or at the very least be on your knees begging for mercy from me. Little liar.” Once more, a gentle hum escapes his lips as he leans in, drawing himself nearer. “But that is alright.”

Sebastian's feet move backward yet again. “What?” He knows. “Hello? What are you talking about?”

Remaining composed, Chrollo gradually advances towards Sebaste. “My dear, aren’t you going to greet me? I missed you.”

As an innate response to his words, your muscles contract, causing your entire body to become rigid.

“Come on out,” Chrollo continues, his smile getting wider. “We haven’t seen each other for more than a year. It feels like a millennia since I saw you last. My heart still beats for you, though, and always will.”

“Leave,” You finally say, your voice almost as shaky as you are. “Go away.”

Sebaste and Chrollo are now both looking at you, but their gazes are different. Chrollo looks at you like a hunter looks at a slain doe or rabbit they are about to eat, while Sebaste looks at you with confusion and fear, for he knows what you are; a liar. “Come closer. Let me see you.”

You shake your head from side to side until your neck cramps and you feel slightly dizzy. “Leave, go away.” You repeat, your voice still shuddering.

“I would take you more seriously if your voice was not quivering, beloved.” You can perceive the mocking tone in his voice. “I want to see your beautiful face not covered by the foliage of a dying plant.” His smile is getting bigger and bigger by the second, you swear to yourself. “Come on now.”

Once more, you vigorously shake your head, refusing to comply. “Leave.”

Sebaste continues to call out, desperately trying to catch his attention, but he remains unfazed, humming to himself. Fear is evident in his expression and the urgency of his voice. Concern grips you, for both Sebaste and yourself.

“Come closer, please. Come greet me.”

You squirm behind the tall plant. “No, go away, leave.”

“I won’t.” His smile fades as he looks down at Sebastian's arms still holding onto the doorframe like it was their lifeline. It is actually, you realize.

Sebastian's face contorts into a frown, while he straightens his posture even further, assuming a defensive stance. “If all you are going to do is bother my girlfriend and not talk to me, you have to leave.”

“No.” Sebaste is finally acknowledged by him, but this time his voice lacks warmth, sounding firm and icy. “Step aside.”

The urge to run engulfs you. You want to run into the forest. You want to run until your feet bleed and your ankles are twisted and bruised.

“Why would I do that?” Sebaste hisses angrily. “Leave. All you are doing is being a creep to my girlfriend. Leave or I’ll call the police. Now.”

Chrollo simply leans in closer to Sebastian's ear. “Step aside. Please.”

Sebaste scowls. “Leave. Now.”

Run, run, run. Despite your determination to hold your ground, you start to relent under Chrollo's unrelenting gaze, eventually taking a step forward as instructed. “Ah, that’s better. Good.” As Chrollo's stare intensifies, you find yourself averting your gaze towards the ground, towards your bare feet. “Look at you, my poor thing. You have nothing more to say, don’t you?” He coos like a parent watching their baby take their first steps.

“I’m calling the police.”

Sebaste delves into the depths of his hoodie pocket, where his phone resides, leaving a portion of the doorway unguarded by his arm. The urge to plead with Sebaste, to convey the futility of it all, arises within you. However, you find yourself incapable of doing so.

In one swift motion, Chrollo grabs the cell phone away from Sebastian’s hand and throws it on the ground, a loud smashing sound reaching your ears. It’s only more pronounced by a boot stomping and crushing it like it was some sort of bug.

“Come closer, dearest.” He says, and your feet move, your mind compliant. You move closer and closer, until you are a few feet behind Sebaste, who looks both fearful and confused.

“Call the police,” Sebaste tells you, the stress in his voice is more than obvious.

You just stare, emptily. There is no point in running over to the kitchen to grab your phone, because Chrollo is quick and thus would run quicker, quicker than you ever could. You, poor you, would fall in vain in the Spider’s hunt for the fly that made it out of the web alive.

“Call the police. [First], call the police.” You would love to appear as a saint, but bright crimson stains your hands and eats at your very being. The floorboards creak and crack beneath you as you walk closer and you hope that the planks will simply break and let you fall into an infinite void where you will never be sentenced for your crimes.

“My lady of sorrows, as beautiful as ever.”

You should have hidden your tracks better.

“Call the police, [First].” You should have watched out for any targets on your back.

You should have watched out more for the eyes looking at you in the night because you only caught one pair. “Your love is like a warm summer’s day, and it will always be mine, all mine.”

You wanted a normal human life. You wanted a normal human death.

But you are caught in the Spider’s web and encased in silk yet again, so you can’t have either of those things. Now, all that you can have that you want is to cry.

“Call the police.” Sebastian's trembling voice echoes once more, filled with fear. Desperate to find solace, he reaches out for your hand, only to be met with the unexpected rejection of a slap.

You’re so stupid. So, so stupid. Your brain feels numb like it is rotting away inside of you, slowly but surely.

“Call the police. [First]. Go get your phone and call the police.”

“All I want is to hold you in my arms and know that you are mine.” You hold everything Chrollo has ever said to you inside of you where your heart used to be. It weighs you down more than a broken heart ever would.

“[First]. Call the police. What’s wrong?”

The world is now monochrome once more. You feel the place where warmth used to be within you. But now all there is is ashes. There is nothing but ashes. Your lungs hurt from all the filth.

“Stop it.” Disgusting, you are disgusting, Chrollo is disgusting.

You wanted to see the whole world. But you are now back to being trapped in the spider’s web and you cannot do any of those things now. A butterfly with a hole in its wing caught in its web.

“What’s wrong? Call the police. Go. Now.” Disgusting. “[First]?” Disgusting. “[First], why aren’t you doing anything?”

“Stop it.” Your voice cracks like how you wanted the floorboards to. “Just stop it.”

“Go get your phone.” Sebaste continues, deaf to what you are trying to tell him. “Go. Now. Go.”

Your head hurts. Your stomach hurts. You want your pajamas on. You want to sleep. You wish you never ran away because now hell will be unleashed on Sebaste and you as punishment. You wish you would have just made a pit stop in this town and continued being on the move. You wish you were more tactical. You wish you had never been born at all. Disgusting. You’re so disgusting and stupid and tired.

You find yourself uttering every part of it, stammering through the words, pausing to catch your breath, pleading for Sebastian's survival, hoping to just return to whatever luxurious penthouse or hotel room Chrollo is currently staying at, imploring to have a private conversation with Chrollo about this matter in his car, away from Sebaste.

As soon as you finish begging for Sebastian's life and open your eyes, you see the book in Chrollo’s hand. With the realization of what is about to happen, tears finally fall from your eyes onto your bare feet.

The cry that escapes your lips is a unique one, unlike any other. It is choked, desperate, animalistic, raw, and undeniably genuine.

“Don’t! Please! Wait! Chrollo!”

Chrollo looks at you and you immediately shut up.

“What are you doing?” Sebaste asks, stepping away, his entire body shaking. “Answer me. What are you doing?”

Chrollo's gaze turns towards him, bearing a facial expression that ranks among the most dreadful you've ever witnessed.

He doesn’t respond with anything more than a hum and a quick turn of the pages.

You’re too afraid to speak.

You look at the floor and close your eyes again as you continue to cry.

You hate the book. He has never used it on you, but you know what it can do. Perhaps if Chrollo is in a good mood at the moment, Sebaste will merely have a curse placed upon him and he will go out the door with poor, wailing you, his grip on your wrist strong enough to almost break it.

A foolish thought, you remind yourself.

Chrollo wasn’t known for his mercy, after all.

Sebaste is as good as dead.

Perhaps he is even worse than dead.

He could be tortured. Starved, eaten alive, poisoned, or has all of his bones broken bit by bit.

You are scared to open your eyes. But you are also scared to have them remain closed.

As you look at what is in front of you and ignore the noises around you, you deprive yourself of any mercy.

It is what you deserve.

“[First]?”

“Don’t.”

“[First], what is happening?” Sebaste points to Chrollo with a look of pure fear, his eyes looking like they are about to burst from their sockets. “What is he talking about?”

“I said don’t. Just stop.”

Sebaste stops in his place, his body shaking so much it looks like he is about to fall. “What?”

“I’m sorry.” It is a genuine apology. “But speaking will only make the pain worse for both of us.”

Chrollo hums again and nods at you, still flipping through the pages. Engaging in acts of rebellion will only exacerbate the situation.

The book stops turning and Chrollo points to a page. “I found it.”

His words are barely audible, drowned out by the piercing cries of anguish. Flashing lights; magenta, red, teal, and black.

Sable scales are sprouting from Sebastian's alabaster skin, each one covered in blood and pierced flesh.

His scleras are a shade of light coral. His eyelids are getting smaller and smaller by the second.

His irises get darker, almost to the hue of ink, matching the scales that are all over his body covered in little bits of torn skin. His knees collapse on themselves as you stand still, looking with both disgust and fear. His elbows fold as his arms lessen in length, his hands bonding with his clavicles.

He is still screaming.

You want to tell him to stop, that there was no point. It’s already too late for either of you.

But you can’t.

You refuse to look at Chrollo, who is no doubt smiling at the horrifying tragedy unfolding in front of you two.

You just look at Sebaste with pitying, guilty eyes.

He does not look at you.

You deserve it, and he deserves to at least have that choice in the matter.

Whatever Chrollo is doing to him, there is no doubt in your mind that you deserve at least twice as bad of a fate.

But you don’t fear death. Not anymore. You know Chrollo does not plan to kill you, that death is not in the cards he is holding. He would never let go of his favorite toy. So, you fear the unknown. You fear whatever harrowing methods Chrollo is going to use on you. There is no doubt that they will be far more psychological than physical.

You sit and stay, like a good dog does, even though every fiber of your being is telling you to run out the back door and into the forest. So, you wait. You wait until he is done. You won’t speak or move unless you are told to. You give up all control and pretend to want to be dragged by a leash instead. You hide your true feelings behind a mask and not overplay your hand. That is how you become a dog.

Good girl.

Chrollo takes out a few Polaroid photographs from his suit pocket and lays them out on the table. One of them is the gore-stained walls of James’ apartment, his lower half the only part that is still whole. The second is Victor’s collapsed, untouched body on the wooden floorboards. The third is of your stalker’s rotting corpse in your abandoned shed, his head lowered and his partially gouged eyes swinging in the cool breeze. You can’t pretend to be better anymore. You can’t hide what you have done anymore. He knows.

You reach for the photos, grabbing them off the table then crumble them into balls, tearing them apart into shreds and watching them fall onto the ground.

Chrollo doesn’t stop you. He simply stares at the torn pieces that lay at your bare feet. He hums. It’s the most horrific sound you have ever heard. It is a mix of hilarity and hunger. When he smiles, his teeth look like a shark's. They are razorlike and look sharp enough to cut flesh, though they appear the same as yours. Although his appearance may deceive others into perceiving him as angelic, you are aware that he is anything but, just like yourself.

He knows. He knows.

Chrollo takes a step forward toward you but stops abruptly. He hums again. He looks upward towards your face and you make eye contact. Your brain starts screaming signals to run.

He knows of the lies that are the foundation of the makeup used to cover your hideous, real face. He knows of your sticky, sticky red hands, stained with crimson sin. He knows of the devil that lurks within the deepest confines of your heart. He knows that no exorcism or priest would be able to get rid of it. He knows that it will stay inside you until your last breath. He knows of the hidden transgressions within your soul, the deeds you committed to survive. The actions you took to elevate yourself above all others and everything else in this world.

He knows everything. He knows what you have done.

The stars twinkle no more. The moon has lost its luster. The night sky has broken apart. You cannot hide your wrongdoings from the scorching beams of the sun. Your skin burns. Everything hurts.

He knows.

He looks down at you like he is a king. Arrogant. Tenacious. He is not even a star to you. He is less than the small pieces of meteorites floating in the vast Milky Way, fading away more and more by the second. This life was too good to be true. You have failed and as a result, you have lost everything.

You cover your head with your arms and run, tackling Chrollo to the ground. He falls onto the kitchen floor with a hard thump. You punch him, but your knuckle hurts as you do so, Chrollo’s face like an iron wall. You yelp in pain and withdraw your fist, using your other hand to pull out the knife from your sweatpants. You haven’t even made a dent into him, did he even feel anything?

Chrollo's laughter resonates as if he finds your actions incredibly amusing. He proceeds to articulate the harsh reality, a truth that is both unpleasant and acrid. “So, you were the one that committed those murders. As expected.”

No. No. No. No.

As you falter, Chrollo’s hands firmly grab the upper parts of your arms and push you off, the amount of power used being nearly enough to throw you against the glass cupboards of dishware and decorations. Instead, the back of your head collides with the wall next to the wooden back door, the paring knife flying out of your hand and landing a few inches away. A pained cry escapes your lips as your vision blurs for a second. He’s on top of you in an instant, his eyes dark and predatory, and your positions suddenly reversed.

The blade, you have to get it back.

As you try to reach out for it, Chrollo grabs your wrist with an abnormal amount of strength. “I wouldn’t pick that up if I were you. It would only prove a point for me.”

Run. Run. Run. You have to run, like a small child running up the stairs when the lights are off, fearing what could be lurking in the dark.

Life. Death. Free. Cage. Run.

No, this can’t be happening, this is just a bad dream.

“Struggle all you like, we both know how this will end.”

“Shut up. I’m not going anywhere–”

“You are. You will stay wherever I place you because I am not falling for your tricks a second time, my little witch.”

No. This is just a bad dream. You close your eyes and try to wake up, shaking your head and begging for Chrollo to be just a figment of your imagination. You try and try, but you can still feel the crushing feeling of Chrollo’s grip on your bruised wrist and the weight of his body on top of yours. This is real, and this is happening.

Your mind goes blank as you open your eyes, your body being directed by raw, pure fear. Your forehead crashes into Chrollo’s, making him back up a few centimeters and let go of your wrist. Your torso crawls toward the blade like an animal whose legs are caught under a boulder or a bear trap. Your elbows bend and you try to move forward. You are just about to grab the knife when there is a yanking of your hair backward. You holler out as your spine is twisted peculiarly, your upper body facing downwards towards the knife while your lower body is facing upwards towards Chrollo.

“Let go!”

“You certainly are stubborn.”

Your fist smacks him square in the jaw and he lets go. Your hand grips the knife, and you start swinging it around, blinded by emotion. You manage to cut into his right cheek as he spits out some blood from your punch. You try to gouge out one of his eyes, but his dexterity causes his head to duck just in time. Your body shakes with a mix of alarm and hate. You try to aim for the space between his eyes, but he grabs your wrist with one hand and your tricep with the other and starts twisting them in two different directions, making you wail. There is a sudden snap that is louder than your cries. You scream as you drop the knife and caress your broken arm. Chrollo grabs the blade and throws it far across the room.

Chrollo’s body seems to relax a little, so you kick him in the face and try to clamber away from him. His nose bleeds, but it does not look broken. You are as desperate as a doe trying to escape the bullets of a hunter’s shotgun.

Run. Run. Run.

“You’re not being good. You’re not being good at all.”

Run. Run.

With the last bits of strength you have, you withstand the agonizing pain in your arm and kick Chrollo in the stomach with both of your legs, so hard that even you wince. He backs up as he chokes on his saliva. Some of the blood from his nose jumps onto your face and you can taste the flavor of metal. He falls backward and hugs his abdomen. He is off of you at long last. For the quick moment he is in pain, you stand up quickly, clutching your unusable limb. You run as fast as you can towards the paring knife. You bend down and grab it in a rush of panic.

Run, rabbit. Run.

Chrollo pushes you down onto your stomach, your back facing him. He grabs your broken arm and pulls it, his foot on your spine to keep you there. It bends like rubber or bubblegum. You start to flail around like a fish out of water. You gasp for air as you cry out in pain. His other hand grabs the back of your head, raising it slightly before pushing it down hard onto the wooden planks. The life you have built for yourself, everything you have worked towards, the colorful, sweet world you have made, all shatters into splinters before your very eyes.

Picking pumpkins and apples to make decorations and cook into pies, harvesting sunflowers to put into glass vases around your cottage, going into the farmer’s market and smelling freshly roasted corn and baked goods, cookies, fried mushrooms, glazed yams, eggplant parmesan, learning to love someone for the first time.

It was all for nothing. It was all for nothing because Chrollo found you. Chrollo found you and enacted his revenge. You wail a strangled, desperate breath. A raw and real breath.

You stop struggling at long last, like a toy that has run out of power from its battery. All that fighting and you have hardly made him use his true strength.

You are weak. You cannot go anywhere. You are a rabbit with nowhere to run. Murder. Death. Theft. Crime. Manipulation. Love. Chrollo’s blood is still in your mouth and it’s bitter and dry, like you had just eaten sand in a desert or oceanless beach. It chokes you, both physically and mentally.

No.

The fish that used to be Sebaste looks up at the ceiling, lying on its side. An unblinking, wide eye. Dull. Cloudy. Empty. Unforgiving. Confused. Weak. Its corpse lays before you two and starts to stink like the back of a butcher’s shop.

I hate you.

That is what its eye tells you.

Traitor. Fool. Devil. Maneater. Tainted. Killer. Freak.

This is all your fault. Why did I have to die? Why are you still alive? You lied to me. You said you loved me. Liar.

Liar. Liar. Liar.

Pathetic.

Your feet are still cold.

If only you could have died too. If only you could have died beside him. You don’t want to die in whatever hotel room or penthouse Chrollo will shove you in, within four suffocating walls and soft sheets that cost more than your monthly rent. You don’t want to die there, you want to die anywhere else. You are not ready to die. Tunnel vision overtakes you, with only one objective in mind.

Just stay alive.

That is your one wish to the stars above.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

You are being burned alive by your desire to both live and die.

...

You don’t think before you do it.

You don’t try to stop yourself before, without any hesitation, your legs propel you forward, forcefully thrusting the backdoor open with your functioning arm. Anguish, fury, remorse, and sorrow engage in a fierce battle for dominance over your every move. As you dart deeper into the dark and densely packed forest behind your cottage, the only sounds you could hear are your own ragged breaths and pounding heart. It was as if the forest was trying to swallow you up, closing in with every passing step. No moonlight or stars pierced the thick layers of leaves and branches overhead.

The darkness is like a thick fog, blurring your sight and limiting your visibility. You could not see Chrollo behind you, but your instincts told you that he was. There was no hint of a breeze to take some of the edge off, with even the birds and chipmunks being completely silent.

The pain was excruciating. With every jostling step, your broken arm jolted around like a wooden toy, threatening to send you down to the ground any second as it kept getting caught in vines and hitting tree trunks. You could not afford to stop running.

You don’t see anyone following you.

Your feet are starting to bleed and leave a few red drops of blood with every rushed step you take. You don’t care about it because instinct has taken over your mind.

You trip over a large root on the ground and fall sideways right on your broken arm, making you scream from the intense pain shooting up. As you try to get up and caress your broken arm, you stumble downhill into a pile of dead leaves.

Your mouth is full of them, making you hardly able to breathe as you spit them out.

If it were any other time, you would have considered it funny.

But not now.

As you rise from the ground, your hand instinctively shields your mouth, preventing any inadvertent sound that may invite unwanted attention. The pursuit of Chrollo, if not already initiated, has undoubtedly commenced.

He’s after you. You know this. He came back into your newly rebuilt life and destroyed it right in front of your very eyes.

You know he can hear you, but you cannot hear him. You never know of his presence until he is too close, that is how it always has been. That is how it is now. Chrollo has forever possessed superior speed, strength, intelligence, attractiveness, and wealth, making it impossible for anyone to ever match his prowess, even if they desired to do so.

You hate him.

You hate him, and he’s here for you again.

No.

How did he even find you?

Hisoka promised.

He promised you that your location would be undiscovered.

He lied to you, didn’t he?

Maybe lying isn’t the exact word.

Maybe he technically did keep his promise, because the Troupe didn’t show up in a matter of a few hours.

Chrollo showed up in a matter of nearly twenty four.

Your gasps for air and silenced cries are paired with a call of your name.

“Oh, you poor thing. Scared half to death.”

His words are as soft as they are cruel.

“Mater Dolorosa.”

You force yourself onto your feet again to run, sensing the voice behind you up the hill getting louder and louder. But when you move to run, you wince in pain and look down at your swollen red ankle.

It is so dark that you can’t see anything aside from yourself, the world around you being painted monochrome by the black night sky’s palette.

There is nowhere to run, is there?

You have used up all of your luck getting this far, and have to pay the price.

You are out of time. You cannot dream of sweet escape anymore.

“Do you remember my touch? I touched you so sweetly. My darling girl.”

You would turn if you could, but the pain shooting out from your ankle prevents you doing so and almost makes you fall into the leaves again instead. “You took me away.”

Moving in a circular motion, Chrollo gradually positions himself in your line of sight, his imposing figure standing tall before you. “It is a thief’s nature. I could not resist the temptation to steal you.”

Chrollo is a prime illustration of the extreme measures some individuals are willing to take in order to have you in their embrace.

Your beauty has captivated every person you have encountered, evoking reverence from all. It is both a blessing and a curse, a double edged sword, both the thing that worships you and tortures you.

Your sweatpants are covered in dirt stains and pieces of dried grass and leaves, your hoodie in a similarly horrible condition. Your hair had come undone, cascading in delicate wisps that obscured your vision, reminiscent of a spider's delicate web. There is nowhere to hide.

“Oh, how I love you.” Chrollo smiles and the way it reaches his eyes makes you squirm more. “Shall I enumerate the reasons why?”

…

The car ride was silent for a while. You would have preferred it if it stayed that way. But Chrollo could never stay quiet for long, even if you asked nicely, so he turned the dial of the radio and began humming along. In all the months you were with him, the only constant presence in your otherwise bleak, depressing life.

The song he chose felt like yet another kick to the stomach. ABBA’s Lay All Your Love On Me. Of course he would play that.

As much as you hate doing so, you focus on the way your heart beats with each turn and bump along the road. He was calm, still so calm, even after this two year long escape. You are certain that this is the calm before the storm, and it was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down on you. More than what already had fallen.

To claim that you were on edge would be an understatement.

“Do you know what will happen now?”

With your heart pounding and mind consumed, you can't help but startle at his words, despite your readiness.

“...No.”

He lets out a small laugh, reducing the music's volume to a slightly muffled level.

It only makes you feel like you are about to go into cardiac arrest.

“You do, don’t you? You have always been a smart one.”

Your broken arm aches under the slight pressure of the seatbelt pressing against it, your ankle being only slightly cushioned by the insulated carpet beneath.

Chrollo has never hurt you before, aside from restraining you in the early days of your capture. Though, you know if you had blamed your ankle on him and told him, he would tell you it was your fault for running barefoot in the dark.

He hopefully will give you a brace or pillow for it when you both arrive back to wherever your temporary location is.

“My freedoms will be taken away.”

As he nods, a smile plays at the corners of his mouth, revealing a slightly sinister undertone that would easily deceive any unfamiliar observer.

“That is a start. But,” Pausing momentarily, he directs his gaze towards you, only to swiftly return his attention to the path that lies ahead. “What particularly? Give me an example, please.”

He is definitely planning something. Maybe you'll inquire about the source of his inquiry, or perhaps you'll force a trembling grin and pretend his question is nonsensical, aware that he's already aware of the freedoms you've gained during your time in confinement. Yet, he would persist then, and repeat his query. You could respond by acknowledging his authority to strip away any privilege he deems appropriate, a fact that both of you know to be true, but deep down, you understand that he desires a real, logical answer.

Whether this is a genuine question or something that will be used to mock you in a moment or two, you have no idea.

“A freedom like…” Your answer will probably be spawned into existence, making you wary of how to respond to his question, but you know you have to because you have no choice in this hell. “Like being able to move freely around.”

He only taps his fingers on the steering wheel in a melody unlike the one playing from the car’s speakers. “How so?” Welcome once again to the realm of eternal damnation.

You contemplate turning away from him and looking out the window instead. But that would cause you more physical pain from your arm moving against the car seat and more mental pain from you knowing you will not be able to go outside again for at least a while. That is, if you are ever allowed to go outside again. If you can ever escape again. He wants another answer. He is not satisfied. But, then again, when is he ever?

You don’t dare look away from him as he stares at you, not at the road, at you. You practically feel like your stomach is dropping out of your body and onto the insulated carpet, staining parts of it crimson red from the blood and a discolored version of its once licorice color from the stomach acid.

“Go on,” You could imagine the feeling of his fingers and yours intertwining and starting to squeeze your throat.

Thum, thum, thum. Bum, bum, bum. Dun, dun, dun.

“...Restraints.” You wish you could just dissolve like seafoam in the sea. “I’m not sure which ones you want to use. The metal ones or silk ones most likely.” The sensation of suffocation creeps in, as if the air itself has turned putrid and malevolent, weighing heavily on your chest. Your vocal cords are raspy, resembling the aftermath of regurgitating and subjecting them to the corrosive effects of gastric acid. “Maybe gag me or tie my legs together too. Or both, it depends on if you are in a good mood right now or not, right?”

He nods slowly, never taking his eyes off of you. His gaze feels unsettling, for there is no trace of anger in his eyes, yet you can sense his fury.

“That is one, yes. What else do you think will happen when we get back, my dear?”

The road is empty. There are no deer or geese or ducks crossing, only you and Chrollo. Animals have always had better judgment of human character, after all.

You hope that the place you are going to at least has a nice view.

“Tell me.”

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r-aindr0p · 4 months

Note

oh my gosh that corset rollo had me m e l t i n g!!

i wanted to ask if you had any songs you like to associate with him? especially if there's any in french, since my french music knowledge is extremely lacking...

two of my favourites for him are notre dame by paris paloma and salvation by christabelle marbun! v v recommend them if you're at all in the mood for Rollocore Songs :3c

Ahh I can do that yes ! some songs that I think about are linked to his unhinged and fiery side, and others the grieving and solitary side of Rollo. Also the songs you recommended are neat I didn't know them, added to my playlist heehee Little idk fake album cover to go with the recommendations, no title because I had no title idea. Now for the songs I'd recommend : Lacrimosa - Kalafina Faster than the flame - Powerwolf Ricordando il passato - Akiko Shikata Iron Lotus (key ingredient version) - Mili The final battle - Tsukasa Saitoh (Elden ring ost, theme of the final boss that is in two parts, intense at first then the theme shifts to a much calmer and "holier" tone, I think it fits Rollo in a way) Songs in french : L'Assasymphonie - Mozart l'opéra rock Le bien qui fait mal - Mozart l'opéra rock C'est bientôt la fin - Mozart l'opéra rock Le temps des cathédrales - Notre-Dame de Paris Belle - Notre-Dame de Paris (sung by Quasimodo, Frollo and Phébus in the musical) Les cloches de Notre-Dame - The hunchback of Notre-dame (cheating a bit with this one since it's simply the bells of notre dame from the disney but in french) I'm not very acquainted with more recent french songs to be honest so there's now a bit old songs from two musicals. Honestly Mozart l'Opéra Rock songs are fitting for so many characters, and the bell sounds in "c'est bientôt la fin" while they sing about attending a ball and assist to the end of a world is so Rollo ringing the bell in hopes for that world without magic, for the end of mages.

#twst rollo #rollo flamme #playlist post sort of #hdfksj i'm always a bit nervous when I share music I listen to aaaaaah #these are songs for cannon rollo more or less #As for corset and less holy outfits Rollo welp #Madonna's “like a virgin” does the trick for the general mood #with also “in the heat of the night” and “i'll never be maria magdalena” by Sandra #and uhh idk when I feel like imagining my own cringey rolloyuu stuff almost any song from modern talking does it for me #Bizarre love triangle or brother louie if you are in the mood for idk love triangle scenarios with rollo yuu and malleus or anyone really #hjdffdsfjs I hope the songs I put are nice

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helplesslypurple77 · 5 months

Text

~my spirits sleeping somewhere cold~

Summary: The day after the incident you wake with an itch in your throat. And as you stare at the white ceilings of your familiar bedroom, you get a feeling of foreboding.

The dressing process is subdued, the soft feel of clothes on your skin not enough to dull the insistant pain, the large gaping hole in your chest that will never be filled. You choke up lily petals in the bathroom."

Warnings: Hanahaki, angst, major character death, religious symbolism, i'm not religious, flower language.

Notes: this is something, i guess. I've been in really bad shape emotionally lately, and money’s been really tight so all the stress is just welling up i guess. That's part of the reason I topped my other au week thin, I'm just not in the mood to craft plots and write smut. I don't know.

Title from ‘Jar of Hearts’ by Christina Perry

...

The day after the incident you wake with an itch in your throat. And as you stare at the white ceilings of your familiar bedroom, you get a feeling of foreboding.

There's a yawning ache in your chest, a cavity that will never be filled. You don't want to get up. You don't want to suffer. You wish god would take you instead of him. But God is not a merciful creature, that you have come to know all too well.

The dressing process is subdued, the soft feel of clothes on your skin not enough to dull the insistant pain, the large gaping hole in your chest that will never be filled.

You choke up lily petals in the bathroom.

𓇢𓆸

Your cross sits heavily against your breast, under your shirt. You don't typically wear one, the responsibility of God's eyes is too much for you to bear.

But today you wear it in repentance.

There's a tickle in your lungs, underwhelming compared to the aching gap in your chest. He’s stolen your heart, taken it with him in death. You turn your eyes to the sky, so as not to ruin your makeup with tears.

You hate yourself for your pathetic lovesick nature. Yellow petals are choking up your throat, daffodils and chrysanthemums. You spit them into the grass before you enter the detective agency.

You don't need to burden them with your plight. At least not yet.

𓇢𓆸

You look up the meanings of the flowers when you're in the office, your fingers trembling as you read the words.

Lilys, purity. Daffodils, rejection. Chrysanthemums, slighted love. You choke down the tickle in your throat, closing the tabs with shaky fingers.

“The meaning of flowers?” It's Ranpo, pearing curiously over your shoulder. You force a smile, perfect in your broken heart.

“My friend wants a bouquet.” You tell him, shooing him away too his work.

And as he meanders off, you congratulate yourself. At least until the petals choke up your throat and you slope away discreetly to the bathroom.

You throw up petals into the toilet.

𓇢𓆸

A week after the incident you choke up an entire flower. It hurts, the thorny stems of a small rose, its petals a dark unnatural black. You crumple the delicate petals in your hand, muffling your tears into a towel before quickly reapplying your makeup. Covering your dark circles. You haven't been sleeping.

Death's heavy hand is hovering over your head, weighing you down with the weight of your sin. The sin of eternal love. The sin of pure devotion.

He stands behind you, death. With his hand on your shoulder, taunting you. He laughs at your misery, at your pain. He plays his melodies of death, his requiem, his Lacrimosa, truly a lady of sorrow. You shed enough tears and pain to be allowed the title, although you have yet to birth the son of god. You don't think you will. You know your death is around the corner. It will come when the bells toll, when the stems growing in your lungs eat at your insides. The pain drives you mad. You choke up as many flowers as you can before you leave for work.

𓇢𓆸

“Name?” Atsushi says, his hands clutching the papers in his hands. He's a kind boy, cute and sweet. You spare him a small smile, biting back the petals in your throat. The boy shuffles his feet nervously.

“Are you doing ok?” Atsushi asks, the question almost too much for your delicate sensibilities. You almost cry, try8ing your best to give him a smile.

“Im doing well.” You reply, the weight of the lie hanging heavy on your chest, the cold metal of the cross judging you.

The boy leaves, called away but he still eyes you, worried.

You wish you fell for Atsushi instead, for his kindness, for his selflessness.

𓇢𓆸

They're getting suspicious. This you know. But you smile and keep your mouth shut and muffle your choking as much as you can. You don't need to burden them any more than you already have. You must die without a fuss.

You had long ago learned how to fool Ranpo, how to get around his almost all knowing intellect. For the key was withholding the crucial fact. Because he could not come to a conclusion without it, and you were sick in your misery. You could never burden them. Never bear to see their eyes of disappointment, their eyes of confusion.

‘How could you love him?’ you were sure they would say.

You couldn't explain, you didn't know yourself.

And then you couldn't stop the flowers that ripped out of your throat, spilling onto the office floor. The white petals of the lilies were stained red with blood.

You didn't see much as you fainted.

𓇢𓆸

You wake in the infirmary, a worried circle of your coworkers surrounding you. The worry on their faces almost makes you sob. You bite back the lilies as Yosano waves them away.

They file out single files, varying looks of confusion on their faces. The door slams.

“How long do you have left?” It's Yosano, arms crossed, eyes disapproving.

“About two weeks.” your voice is rough, choked. A petal falls from your lips.

“Is there no solution?” Yosano asks you, her voice choked with emotion. The sigh that escapes your lips is more than a thousand words.

“The dead cannot return the love of the living.”

Yosano wipes her tears before you see them.

“Rest.” She says, closing the door behind her.

𓇢𓆸

The meeting is solem, confused eyes meeting red rimmed eyes. All the eyes turn to Yosano as she enters the room, her own eyes red. Fukuzawa is the first one who dares the speak, from his place at the head of the table.

“What is going on.”

Yosano sinks into a chair, hand scrubbing at her eyes. The words she speaks are damning.

“Hanahaki.”

The room sinks into a tense silence, a broken silence, a confused silence. The emotions are a whirl in the room, the atmosphere choking, cloying, unpleasant. Someone muffles a sob into their clothes, Kenji or Atsushi or Naomi, it doesn't matter. Yosano composes herself, dropping plain information on the people in the room.

“She's choking on Lilies and Daffodils, and she won't last much longer.” She says, the words plain and almost cruel. Kenji curls up into himself, his head resting on his knees. Kunikida, sitting beside him, pats his back.

“Who is it?” It's Atsushi, his voice choked up, his eyes shining with unshed tears. The room is suddenly silent, waiting with bated breaths for the escape, the hope that this could end. Yosano hates to break their fragile hope, but she repeated the words you had said to her.

“The dead cannot return the love of the living.”

𓇢𓆸

The green bottle sitting in your hand is your escape. Arsenic is a simple plan, easy to execute, to end your suffering. The lilies are choking your throat. You want to escape.

There are letters on your bed, piled around you, addressed to the ones you love. You don't want to leave them, but you don't want to suffer,

The bottle is your escape.

With a pop of finality, with a last look at the world around you, you drink the poison. It's tasteless, coloreless, odorless.

It lulls you into your final sleep. You can see him, your doomed love. Fyodor, standing on the other side. You slip into death with open arms, broken hearted but peaceful.

𓇢𓆸

Something is wrong. Atsushi feels it, the weight on his chest, the knowledge that you, a trusted coworker and beloved friend are going to die. And theres nothing to be done about it. The meeting is silent, as the words sink in, and then, it is exposed.

People are talking, arguing, yelling over each other, words and questions and angry accusations. Atsushi covers his ear, tears welling in his eyes.

And then, that feeling, that horrible dawning feeling that something is wrong. Almost silent, he stands, slipping out of the infirmary door, Ranpo and Yosano on his heels. He can see the dread painted on their faces, the same dread that wells in his stomach, which eats him out from the inside. The hallway is short, the infirmary door at the very end, but it feels like forever, like the hallway will never end and you’ll die out of reach.

But finally, they reach the door.

It's quiet in the infirmary, the bed that you lay in still, letters scattered neatly around your body. You're too still. Atsushi flies forward, the other on his heels.

Your face is serene in death, the lilies and chrysanthemums scattered around you, a makeshift memorial. There's a bottle beside your hand, empty. The label is a death sentence.

“Arsenic.” its Ranpo, choked up and angry, his fists by his sides. Atsushi chokes on a sob.

The infirmary door opens with a crack, the others joining them. The entire room hangs in a state of disbelief, of despair. And then the accusations fly.

It's loud. Atsushi covers his ears, eyes dripping small tears onto the floor of the infirmary. He feels weak when he cries, but he’s sure the orphanage director will spare him this much.

𓇢𓆸

You left them letters. Personal letters addressed to each of them, and even some for the port mafia members. They read them in the meeting room, solemn and silent.

But there's one letter that sticks out, an unaddressed, blank envelope. They know they shouldn't open it. But they do, and it confirmed their fears and biases.

For there are only a few words on the paper, a few damning words.

“From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—

Nameless here for evermore.”

𓇢𓆸

They bury you with Lilies, Carnations, and tears. The finality of death painted on your face.

...

Endnotes: I don't know, this exists now. The Raven is a favorite of mine, ever since i read it in middle school. Edgar Allan Poe(the real one) was one fucked up dude

also i know its a little cringy to bend on a poem but i honestly don't care

(also i wholeheartedly believe Fyodor is not dead, but im still crying over it. pathetic i know)

#bungou stray dogs #mariannacrxss #bsd x reader #fyodor x reader #hanahaki disease #angst #angst without a happy ending #major character death

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kuni-is-daddy · 1 year

Note

imagine scaramouche being ghostface, him killing each and one of your friends and family untill it's just the two of you alone. After you found out that he's been the one killing your friends and family, you could never forgive him or love him again. Until one night after he was done killing someone he comes through your window, covered in blood and everything, you being scared that he's gonna kill you next but he doesn't instead he's like "I did all this for you my love." And it goes to smut, your body and clothes being covered in blood from whenever he would touch you with his bloody hands. (I got the idea from what I'm writing of ghostface scaramouche but I haven't really been writing it much😭 and sorry if it doesn't make sense)

NO KAMI, THE PRODIGAL: "LACRIMOSA"

Yandere/Killer Scaramouche X GN READER

TW: k!lling

SCARA'S KILLIN BUDDY IS CHILDE/TARTAGLIA.

PURE ANGST. 1.2k WORDS

Scara masterlist!

--MINORS DNI---

Yandere scaramouche who gives you a necklace before he leaves for sumeru that you should NEVER take off, that was made by his friend sandrone. Whenever you'd open the pendant, it was a picture of the two of you on your first date and would play a little tune of the song he made for you. "Na..zou...Na....Gah...Sah....lehh...Vall...Esss."

Yandere scaramouche who gave that To SPY on you through the mini recorder inside of it that would work as long as the necklace was tied around your neck, Once untied it would have to be re-tied to activate and connect to his phone during missions in sumeru. The necklace was waterproof- fireproof. Just so many 'proofs' that hearing him babble on about it made you sick You reassured him you'd never take it off.

Yandere scaramouche who would Listen in on his phone as your friends tried to convince you to dump him "No offense y/n but this "scaramooke" you corrected them "scaramouche." "yeah. He sounds like a bozo. Your too pretty to be waiting for like what now? a year for some man that never came back for you." The others joined in "yeah look at his goofy ass hair and how short he is. Like a midget. Bet his dick Small af" "Honestly if he really loved you, he would've kept his word and stayed with you, here in inazuma." How about when he comes back. We say something happened to you, that everyone he loved died to make him regret it all." "He's probably more concerned with his mom being on his ass 24/7 instead of staying for you.

Yandere scaramouche who's heart breaks realizing their is no connection to the necklace, symbolizing you took it off. Hesitantly you did and gave it to your best friend, but you felt worried. You made a promise to never take it off, but its been so long. surely he wouldn't mind if you did once? You handed it to your friend with a sigh of relief. "See y/n you need to live a little. Relax... Say, how about we have a party at your house next monday! It'll relax your nerves from this scaradook guy, I know your parents are always worried but they wont mind!" This time, you laughed at the nickname they gave him.

Yandere scaramouche who would spend his time killing hundreds in the abyss with tartaglia as further motivation to kill your friends. Picturing, Envisioning and fetishizing their lifeless bodys. "Next monday, next monday" He repeated over and over in his head

Since he put on a show for tartaglia, Tartaglia willingly offered to pair up for missions in exchange for him to go to inazuma in time for the party.

"Hey scara.." "What do you want?" "Are you going to hurt y/n?" 'Why the fuck would you even assume that? Actually, why is it even your buisness?" "Because ive seen you kill scara. I know how you are even if you dont admit it. You do stupid things when your in the moment, I know that more then anybody in battle. Watch yourself."

Yandere scaramouche who spys on you from a distance, watching you decorate your house for the party. Missing how you'd undress yourself infront of him. How he could rip those clothes off when he was desperate to fuck you after 'his work'

Yandere scaramouche hesitating for the right time to make the move, realizing your not in the house. When suddenly the app he used to stalk you was working 'was y/n wearing the necklace again?' he checked. "AwW buT guYS. I loVeEe ScAwAmouChe. He'LL coME bacCW soON. I dont nEeD A neW boyFriEND" Your best friend said while wearing the necklace. "FUCK you sCARA YOU SUCK. How about wE FIND HER A BOYFRIEND THEN SEND YOU A PIC OF HER GIVING HIM A KISS. HE'S MUCH BETTER THAN Y-

Yandere scaramouche who busts open and closes the door. Going on a rampage killing all your friends. Bashing heads against the wall. Stabbing and punching. Your best friend reaches for their phone to call 9/11 but gets stabbed in the leg and trembles to the ground.

Yandere scaramouche who is in a high from the mass killing he just did. watching the blood drip all over his body. He hears the doorbell ring and the lock on the door starting to turn. He rushes to the door and stabs the first people he see's...which ends up being your parents. He didnt even mean to kill your parents but he's too far gone now and stacks up the bodys in your bathroom. He picks up your best friends body, Looks at the necklace then repeats what they said. "if he really loved you, he would've kept his word and stayed with you." "I am here now..For my love."

Yandere scaramouche who'd hide behind the door waiting for you to come, Pushing you down to the floor after you shut the door to see your EX-S/o Covered in blood and your best friend dead on the ground, crying and kicking at scaramouche to let you go and that its over while muttering nonsense. "Over? Y/n I did this for you my love. Did you hear how they talked about us?" "B-BUT IT WAS TRUE SCARA. Y-YOU DIDNT EVEN OFFER TO COME BACK FOR ME." "Y/n.." He sighed "I tried telling you. It was complicated. You said you loved me forever baby. what was 1 little year away from you going to change? I still love you as you can see." "Scara your delusional..Let me go.." "You have alot of nerve talking to me like this y/n. After all ive done for you. But look at you baby, Like a fine painting covered in your best friends blood. Give me a kiss."

Yandere scaramouche who pulls you into a kiss but you elbow him in his face then kick him off of you, Stumbling over blood and clothes on the floor while running out of the door. You tried to run but he was ultimately faster than you. "Y/N, LOVE, PLEASE DONT DO THIS, I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO HURT YOU BABY. COME FUCKING BACK TO ME. Y/N!! I swear..YOU FUCKING HUMANS ARE ALL THE SAME. Y/N!!!!!" it was terrifying. You kept running until you bumped into a tall ginger haired man, thinking he was an inazuman local you ranted off. "P-PLEASE YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. MY S/O- I-I MEAN SCARAMOUCHE YOU KNOW HIM RIGHT? SHORT MAN, HE- HE KILLED MY FRIENDS AND-" Little did you know it was childe you bumped into.

Who's last words you heard we're "sorry" before everything turned black.

#genshin headcanons #genshin angst #scaramouche angst #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin au #yandere genshin impact #yandere scaramouche #yandere genshin x you #yandere genshin imagines

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camille-lachenille · 5 months

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The Silmarillion ultimate playlist

It’s the time of Spotify wrap-ups and whatnot and this gave me an idea: let’s make a giant, collaborative playlist for the Silmarillion!

Drop the songs that make you think of a specific character, your OCs, relationship, event, place, or just gives you major Silm Vibes in the reblogs and tags. Put links to them, write essays about these songs if you want, or just reblog to share further, but the goal is to have fun and discover as many songs as possible.

You can share any song or musical piece you want, no matter the genre or language, the only rule is that it can’t be a song by Tolkien nor a track from the LotR movies or musical, nor the Hobbit or any musical adaptation of Tolkien’s works (I see you Finrod Rock Opera. I will listen to you one day).

Anyways, here are my songs, and the link to the collaborative playlist:

Eärendil, Starwing: Sailboat of Mine - Eurielle & Mario Grigorov

Eöl, Nan Elmoth: Hotel California - Eagles

Aredhel: Touch the Sky - Brave; I want to Break Free - Queen;

Nerdanel, Anairë and Eärwen: Friends will be Friends - Queen

Findis: Ave Maria - Franz Schubert (specifically sung by Maria Callas)

Morgoth: Back on the Throne - Firewind

Lúthien: Savage Daughter - Sarah Hester Ross; Queen of King - Alessandra

Maglor’s Gap: I wanna be in the Cavalry - Colm R. McGuinness (both the original and the reprise)

Maglor: Requiem, Lacrimosa - W.A. Mozart

Fingon/Maedhros: Princes of the Universe - Queen

Túrin Turambar: Live and Die by the Sword - Firewind

Fëanor (from the moment he swears the Oath to his death, but specifically Alqualondë and Losgar): Wars of Age - Firewind

Amarië: I will survive - Gloria Gaynor

Eluréd and Elurín: Erlkönjg - Franz Schubert; Come Little Children - Hocus Pocus (cover by Erutan)

Finwë: Sin - Lia Marie Johnson

Helcaraxë: Rise from the Ashes - Firewind

Nirnaeth Arnoediad: Bloodstained Ground - Eluvetie

Sons of Fëanor: Threefold Death - Eluvetie

Edain/ end of the War of Wrath vibes: Prologue - Eluvetie

Fingolfin: Last of the Lords - Battlelore

Tuor/Idril: Song of the Sea - Nolwen Leroy

Maglor, Elrond and Elros: The Magic Lullaby - Eurielle

Thingol/Melian: Cat People (Putting out Fire) - David Bowie

Nolofinwëans: Hey Brother - Avicii

Celegorm and Curufin in Nargothrond: (Do)minion - Eluvetie

As you can see, this playlist is completely random, jumping from lullaby to death metal to 80’s pop without rhyme nor reason. It’s just a giant melting pot of Vibes

And now, it’s your turn to play!

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rose-tea-and-strawberries · 5 months

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𝕷𝖆𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖔𝖘𝖆

Lacrimosa dies illa Qua resurget ex favilla Judicandus homo reus Lacrimosa dies illa Qua resurget ex favilla Judicandus homo reus - Lacrimosa, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

You’re no stranger to the feeling of numbness.

Even if you never had the chance of being acquainted with it back in your home world, you had plenty of opportunities to familiarise its cold, detached hopelessness from your time in this plane. Of course, your first memories of this were the blind panic that seized you when you first arrived or the lightheadedness that washed over you after you succumbed to the injuries Housewarden Rosehearts had inflicted on you or when you became more and more aware of Crowley’s manipulations.

You compared it to the crisp tingling that engulfed you when Azul and his twin cronies who lusted for terror as much as they did blood and agony had sent you to the frigid depths of the sea and the submerged Mostro Lounge. Who knew that mental numbness and physical numbness were completely different flavours of the same bitter meal. You didn’t before you do now.

You’re falling, drowning, thrashing and flailing in meaningless desperation against the despair around you.

Trouble may come in threes but only company that misery is crowing to desire is you it seems, as it pulls you along for its twisted dance macabre - it’s cold, sadistic fingers gripping your figure, harsh and unforgiving, as it manhandled you to a rhythm you’ve never heard of, living deep, dark imprints in it’s unyielding wake. It crushed you against it, leaving no room for air or words to enter your lungs, and you looked helplessly towards the shadowed corners of your vision, towards the unseeing gazes of grinning onlookers, your tender feet burning and blistering with every new step, with every new unpredictable move, as they took deranged pleasure in your plight. And with a scorching spotlight above you, all you could do was relent.

You wanted off. You wanted to leave this chessboard that everyone but you could see. You wanted to tear off the blood-soaked puppet strings that were digging and searing into your wrists. But you couldn’t. In this world, your life was not your own but merely a toy. A pawn. Some form of entertainment that gave them a means to an end. The black spiderwebs of your scars that clung and coiled around your skin, the onyx discolouration of your magic-induced gashes and obsidian veins were proof that your nightmares were real, that you are stuck in this hopeless existence.

Kindness was your hamartia, you realised. The love that you swore by, that you held dear to your heart, one of the only fragments of you that hadn’t been ripped away from you, was the very reason you were left chained in this prison. If your peace were your wings then your kindness was the sadistically scorching inferno that melted the wax between them, sending you plummeting to your tragedy.

Love ruined you so it simply had to leave. After all, your broken spirit was already a price you paid for your hopelessly optimistic naivety, the reason you were unaware of the consequences of no good deed going unpunished.

Your thoughts sang a final requiem to the person you used to be, a soft symphony of saudade that got fainter and fainter as you felt the writhing of something within you. Whispered voices that embraced you with their comfortably icy caresses, the wispy tendrils of your soul softening with every alluring cajole and when you let yourself sink into their assuaging depths, you were reborn.

It was strange how still the air inside Ramshackle had become. The ricocheting echoes of your heels along the tar covered floor were the only signs that something was within it. Even the darkness enshrouded depths of the Ramshackle Wood were silent. Not even the barest breath of life could be somewhat acknowledged.

Was that odd?

You can’t remember what it was like to feel, to be more than this cold, hollow vessel of numbness. You could faintly recollect words like ‘happiness’, ‘comfort’, ‘joy’, ‘love’ these so-called ‘emotions’ that used to mean something to you, if only you could recall what they meant. Not that you cared. You were incapable of caring about anything now. The nothingness within you being the only sense you could grasp.

What was it like, to feel? It sounds awfully draining. Such a vulnerability that’s exposed to the world is very easy to exploit. You must’ve been in so much pain, being so unprotected. But you’re different now.

You look at the shattered mirror in front of you. A lifeless doll drenched in running obsidian stares back.

Distantly, you hear ink dripping onto the floor

Huic ergo parce Deus Pie Jesu, Jesu Domine Dona eis requiem Dona eis requiem Amen

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuu #fem yuu #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #fem reader

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fromthepinnacle2thepit · 23 days

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cervi e consumo

hannibal lecter x reader

chapter 2: il sentiero

well you made it though your first session with Dr. Lecter! how will the second go?

a/n: song inspiration for this chapter: lacrimosa by mozart

hello!! i just wanna say thank you so much for reading. just a warning: this chapter contains descriptions of a panic attack and brief descriptions of a car accident with an animal. if this is something that might bother you i recommend doing what’s best for you mentally. enjoy!!

tags: @flow33didontsmoke

chapter 2: il sentiero

Your first session with Dr. Lecter had gone well. You were still a bit apprehensive as to what you might show the man so far, but he had given you lots to think on.

He truly impressed you so far. From what you could gather, he not only was incredibly intellectual, but also a man of philosophy. You could admire that. Hell, you already admired him. He seemed good at his profession. Already, he’d referenced the work of Dante.

“The path to paradise begins in hell, as Dante put once. Just as you right now are in low conditions in your mind, I have to imagine that we always have brighter places to work towards.” he had said, his deep voice rang clearly across the room.

You had thought about it, and he had been right. You’ve got to start somewhere, even if it’s hell. Though you felt dramatic for calling your current situation “hell”. You appreciated how well-read he was though. It had inspired you.

An hour later you were sitting with a copy of Dante’s Divine Comedy in your lap, weighing down on your legs. The cover had a painting behind the title and other writings on the cover. You scanned the faces that were shown, and in interest, made out two figures, staring at legs coming out of the ground. For such a classic renowned book, it sure did have a strange cover. But the wisdom in your psychiatrists words had inflicted a curiosity upon you that was deeper than any unsettled emotion.

The evening after your session wore on, and in time, you had fallen into a deep sleep.

Days passed slowly, and the pages of the book turned with your continuing progress. It took patience to get through. Both the days and the book. Your job flooded you with responsibilities and when you came home and opened the heavy book, you were faced with words that did take some effort to decipher, but soon you found comfort in the word-laden pages. You tried listening to his advice about how the path to paradise begins in hell. What could paradise have in store for you? How long would this path take? Why couldn’t you have just started halfway? What if this wasn’t hell, and your journey hadn’t begun, and things would only get worse? Anxious questions seemed to constantly flood your mind, attacking any means of traveling on said “path.” Throughout the next few days, when the questions occasionally became too much, you would think back to Dr. Lecter’s rich voice, the distinguished air of his room, his analytic chestnut eyes. And the thought that soon you’d be there again. All hope wasn’t lost for you. You had Dante, Dr. Lecter, and this so-called path to paradise. You’d been through a lot to even make it here. You would try this. You had to.

Before you knew it, you were once again in the refined waiting room. Music once again played softly and the receptionist seemed to be in the exact same nervous state she was in yesterday. This time as you sat you allowed yourself to study your surroundings a bit more. Your eyes focused more clearly on the paintings that adorned the walls, you allowed yourself to breathe in, the air smelling of books and something you couldn’t quite name. You allowed yourself to gain a less tense position than last time, though your hands fidgeted slightly in your lap and you couldn’t help but notice the pattern of your breathing and your heart. You were nervous. You usually were before sessions, it wasn’t something you were unaccustomed to. You knew though that as time went on, you would relax into things more, just as you had already.

“He’s ready to see you now,” the receptionist spoke suddenly. A pleasant smile was plastered on her face. You nodded at her and stood, crossing the waiting room to stand in front of the wooden door, just as you had the week before. You looked back at the receptionist. Her face was now turned back to her work but her eyes still held the smile from the moment before. The nervous energy that had encompassed her not too long ago suddenly seemed a lot less nervous. Maybe it was simply energy. Maybe she was simply passionate about her work. She didn’t seem unhappy. This made a smile begin to grow on your face too. You made a mental note to talk to her more next time.

Sounds from the other side of the door interrupted your thoughts. It sounded like footsteps against the wooden floor, heading towards you. And as if on cue, the door in front of you opened to leave you smiling at the face of your psychiatrist.

He looked about the same as the last time you’d seen him. The same well-styled earthy hair, paired with the earthy eyes, the charming smile. The one different thing about him was his suit. The one he wore today was a brown plaid one.

“Good evening,” he spoke and a part of you relaxed at hearing his soothing voice, “How do you do? Please, come in,”

You smiled and stepped past him, walking into the large tranquil office. It felt reassuring, in a strange way, to be back here. The quote about the path flashed through your mind.

“Good evening to you as well, Doctor,” you replied to the man and turned to give him a smile as he followed you through the doorway, “I’ve been quite well. And you?”

“I happen to have been the exact same,” he replied. Just as last time, he gestured to the two chairs in the middle of the room and you both made your way over to have a seat. Once again, your thoughts danced around how intimate the setting was. You appreciated it. His eyes studied you, and it now felt like a common thing to get the feeling he wanted you to speak. This time, you took the opportunity.

“I’ve begun reading The Divine Comedy, as you quoted it in our last session,” you said. For a moment, you wondered if you shouldn’t have said it. You weren’t sure why. It just felt personal, deep. You knew it was meant to though. You also couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment you were feeling or if it was the strange feeling of being open. Your eyes suddenly focused again on Dr. Lecter and for a brief instant you thought you might’ve seen interest flash across his features before he spoke.

“What a keen memory you have,” he replied. The way your last name formally slipped from his lips at the end of his praise made your lips quirk up in a slight smile, “You must tell me your thoughts on it,”

“It’s fascinating. I love finding the meaning in such complex words. It all gives me so much to think about. While I have not read too much of it yet, I do intend to continue,” you remarked.

“I must admit, I quite agree with you. The meanings and knowledge woven into such works are intellectual delicacies. It does one much good to take a bite,” he responded.

As the session carried on, you did your best to comprehend his thought-provoking words. It only made you want to read the book more. Your mind wandered back to it, even as the conversation had steadily drifted away from that topic a while ago. In between the continuing banter, the appealing idea of curling up with the book when you got home became a thought that was growing in prominence. You might light some candles, settle into bed, maybe get something to eat or drink. You pictured the how the world would look from your window. The way buildings would be soaked in shadows of the navy night, the way wind would trickle through leaves in quiet susurrus. The night would be pretty to drive home in. Stillness protruding from the trees around the roads that led to your home. The idea of such a pleasant evening was incipient in your head.

Your attention was about to return to Dr. Lecter, when a sudden memory flashed through your thoughts. Headlights on a dark road, the shining eyes of the deer, the sudden franticness, a sickening jolt of the moving vehicle, a gut-wrenching scream. The recollection instantly made your stomach drop in the most dreadful way. You felt as if you were back in that moment. Your heart began to race, an execrable gut-churning feeling of pure terror took place in your abdomen and stomach. Unbeknownst to you, your hands had begun to fidget in your lap. Your eyes fixed on one spot on the floor. The emotion of panic felt like it had taken over your entire being. The moment just kept replaying in your mind. You saw it, even worse, you felt it, over and over in your mind. You silently screamed for a way out, feeling desperate. Your breaths became short as you felt increasing horror in your chest, laboring your breathing with pressure. You just wanted to make it stop. You were scared. You wanted a way out. Stop. Stop. Stop. Please get me away from this.

Abruptly, something began to intrude on your distraught and terrified state. A voice began to make its way through your racing thoughts. It was a deep and rich voice, dusted with an accent. Taking a moment to hurriedly try to identify the voice, it was Dr. Lecter’s. He was saying your last name in that formal way he had a habit of saying it in. Your eyes darted to him, seeing that he was now crouched next to your chair. That calm demeanor was still on. He felt so far away, the memory playing over again in your mind. You felt your mind begin to delve back into the state it was in before. You faintly heard your name off his lips again.

“Look at me,” he firmly instructed. You felt like you couldn’t, as if you were frozen in your memories. Your name left his lips once more. “I must ask you to try and listen.”

You wrenched your eyes away from the spot on the floor, turning to him. Though your eyes were on him, you felt as if your mind was a million miles away. For an instant, with the help of his voice, you felt more stable. You tried your best to keep your eyes on him.

“You are safe, you are in my office. No harm will come to you here. No doubt you feel overwhelmed right now. Try to focus on your breathing, in and out,” with his words, you began to break through the wall of panic that had settled in your mind, “I assure you, your mind cannot immure you.”

The world around you slowly became present to you again as he spoke. He continued, and you listened, fighting away the emotion. Occasionally your eyes would squeeze shut and your abdomen would tense in fear, but Dr. Lecter’s voice would always pull you back to where you were. You focused on him, the comforting words that continued to leave his mouth, the way he pointed out things in his office to distract you. He spoke softly about some of the paintings, your eyes caught occasionally on the strokes of the paintbrush that had created images with swirling emotion. Like the state of your mind.

Eventually, your focus was more on him than it was the memory that had resurfaced. Parts of your face were still tinged with worry, and you didn’t feel all that comfortable with your posture, but it was better than you had felt minutes before. You didn’t notice the doctor had been silent until he spoke, your name leaving his lips in that formal way before he finished his question.

“I take it that what just occurred was quite an intense panic attack. Might I ask if you know what triggered it?”

“A memory,” you spoke, you watched as he gently rose and stepped back to his chair where he took a seat, “It’s not important now.”

You wished so badly to be able to tell the man about the memory, but felt if you got into it, you might get stuck in that well of emotion and never come out.

“What has the ability to bother us to that extent is of great importance.” Dr. Lecter replied smoothly. You noticed the way his eyes silently searched you, as if deciphering you like an ancient language. The man was perceptive. You wondered what exactly he was searching. Your body language, your mind, signs of another panic attack. At this thought, you took special notice of his own body language. His legs were crossed as they usually were and his chin was tilted upwards ever so slightly. His hands were folded neatly in his lap. Even after witnessing such a paroxysm of emotion as yours, he managed to stay calm and unalarmed. You couldn’t deny that it was impressive.

“Could I talk to you about it at our next session, Dr. Lecter? Extreme emotions like that seem like too much to handle at the moment,” you felt bad saying that, and worried it came across as rude. But at least it gave you something to plan for leading up to the next session.

“If that is what you feel will benefit you the most,” he said with the slightest nod of his head, “Though, never be afraid to feel. It is much more than a mortal burden. Emotions allow us to have such a scope of remarkable experiences. Those of us filled with vehemence are bestowed with one of the best human gifts and burdens. Do not be afraid of it.”

The formal concluding niceties occurred as you were left ruminating on his words. He had a point. Of course he did, he knew this stuff.

Eventually, you had both risen from your respective seats in the middle of the room and were beginning your walk to the door you would be exiting from. He opened the door for you, but you paused. Looking back a him and giving him a soft look you spoke.

“Thank you.” you said, you saw a spark of both pride and slight confusion glow in his eye, accompanied by a slight turn of his head.

“I’m your psychiatrist,” he said, your last name leaving his lips in that formal way you’d grown used to, “It’s my pleasure.”

You stepped out of his office and before you knew it, you were back in the chilly air of the night. You looked at the building you had just exited, seeing warm light glow from the rooms inside, a contrast from the dark sky overhead. Part of you wished to be back in his office. Bach playing softly in the background, surrounded by art and literature from times far passed, the doctor’s sophisticated and accented voice ringing clearly through the room.

You could get used to this.

And now, you had Dante waiting for you to read when you got home.

Your journey on the path had begun.

#hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal x reader #hannibal lecter #pin’s fics #cervi e consumo fic #hannibal #nbc hannibal x reader

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buzzheadchick · 3 months

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Okay time I do my Walten Files posting. I’ve noticed some confusion regarding timelines and what’s happening when, so I want to try to write down what happens and when. Now someone this stuff not make much sense, and some may possibly be retconned, but this is what we are given.

The crash happened the night of May 2nd. Multiple times in the series we are told this. Jack calls Felix that night, Felix does not pick up. Jack goes to Felix’s house (12:23 AM according to CC), Felix does not answer. Jack says “I know you can hear me” and “I know you’re in there,” but we are to presume this is wishful thinking on his end, because Felix is not actually home. Felix was out until early hours of the morning the next day (May 3rd) digging the graves (still sitting in one as of 8:56 AM according to CC), throwing the bag into the river, and then going to the police station. Even earlier in the morning, presumably after Jack went to Felix’s house (which was past midnight and thus morning), Jack had already gone to the police. We learn this in the description under Lacrimosa.

"Report 90892 May 4th, 1974 - Brighton City Police Department

Wrr: Frank Davis

Felix Archer Kranken reportedly arrived at the station in the morning on May 3rd, He had a broken pair of glasses, dirty blue pants and a yellow dress shirt covered in dirt and blood. When I got the call He was already taken into custody, we sat him down for a few hours and he revealed valuable information about a case we were previously told about earlier that same day by Mr. Jack Walten. Walten's 2 youngest kids, Edd and Molly Walten, had disappeared with Kranken the night prior. Felix's alibi stated he was unconscious or about 20 minutes, when he woke up the kid had ran off."

In TFW4, we get a sort of update from Felix from “3 days after the accident.” He said he “finally told them what happened” in his office, which I think we are to believe he told them the truth, as opposed to the lie he told the police. However, he still lies about the Rocket doll. In the description under Guilty, we see this:

"In memorial of Edward Walten - Molly Walten:

- Ed (12) and Molly (9) died Thursday, May 2nd, 1974 in a fatal car accident, they were leaving a party made by their school to celebrate Spring. Jack Walten (father, husband) couldn't take the kids to the celebration because of work. A friend of Mr. Walten would take the kids instead. On the way back home, Jack's friend would be driving in questionable conditions, thus crashing his car near the road next to Saint Juana's forest. Instantly taking both Edward and Molly's lives. You will be remembered, our little angels, our little red children."

The video Guilty is from three years ago, so this may be retconned, but it is the current understanding that by the time of the funeral for Ed and Molly, they knew the truth of what happened. This points to the idea that during the meeting in Felix’s office, he told the truth. However, it is unclear if this truth went out to the police. There are a few reasons why The Waltens may not go forward with the information Felix told them, but I don’t cover them here as they aren’t explicitly stated.

It is unclear when the funeral is, but based off of the memorial, it is after Felix came clean. In TWF4, on “05/13” (May 13th) Susan and Charles only find out “weeks” later about the funeral, but it physically couldn’t have been more than ten days, implying the funeral was held quickly after the accident, possibly as soon as they Waltens found out the truth. With it also being clear it was “family only,” it seems in addition to not telling the police, the family hadn’t told ANYONE. It is unclear if Susan and Charles know the full truth, or only the truth given to the police, only that he was “drunk while driving the car.” By that time, Susan says she hasn’t heard from Jack “in a long while.” Both of them think there’s something off with Felix’s story, implying that they maybe don’t know the full truth, but they could just be doubting what we the audience have been shown (which still may not be the full story). Charles asks if the kids are “gone,” which is ambiguous wording. I think it may be intentional that we don’t know what they know. Some point prior to that, Felix hid Rocket at Bon’s Burgers, and told Susan not to tell Rosemary or Jack. Jack disappears almost a month later, on June 11th. Susan dies even later, on June 30th.

So that’s the timeline of the events we see surrounding the new video. I can’t tell you if maybe there’s more than Felix even knows happened that night, or who knows what, or why the Waltens haven’t gotten Felix arrested. But that’s the timeline.

#The Walten Files #the walten files spoilers #TWF #twf spoilers #twf 4

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clementine-writes-things · 26 days

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Can you write a oneshot of what you think a first date with riddler would be like? (And maybe possibly somehow if I may suggest go a little smut)

Ooo! (That just autcorrected to poo wtf) This idea sounds so cute! :) I don't usually like having y/n and the fanfic character having sex on the first date, but I'll give them some background and stuff so it's not like meaningless sex yk? You'll see <3 Hope you like this! sorry if it's short or fast paced, juggling a bunch of things in life rnnnn! I hope I made it how you wanted it to be :( <3 xoxo

Summary: The Riddler (Edward Nygma) takes y/n out on a date after working up the confidence to ask them. He taps into his romantic side and makes it a sweet little date. But uh, things get a little hot and heavy when y/n calls him 'The Riddler'. Y/n doesn't want Ed to hesitate, they want him to show them who he really is.

Content Warning: Explicit language, smut, dom!Riddler, egotistical!Riddler, sub!Reader, HEAVY dirty talk, ed likes being called riddler, unprotected sex, oral reader!receiving, praising, aftercare, degrading, power/criminal kink?(y/n and riddler both think it's hot that he's a criminal and they're dating him)

Word count(not including summary and stuff): 2,768 (shorter than what I usually write I'm sorry! <3)

Songs for Inspo:

Moonlight - Kali Uchis

MONTAGEM PR FUNK - S3BZS (run the first 4 lines thru google translate to see just how SEXUAL this song is...hehe..)

LET ME SEE YA MOVE - Lumi Athena

THIRST FOR ME! - Lumi Athena

Lacrimosa - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Ride - Sir-Mix-A-Lot

(bro said ":P")

'I'll leave your ass burning...'

Read below cut

Y/n and Edward had been friends for over a decade. The two of them went to the same school together as kids. Back then, they were inseparable, and that applied to how they were in the present as well. After Edward went into his life of crime, y/n knew they shouldn't stay friends with him. But, they couldn't stay away from him. Over the years, they suddenly realized that they weren't just friends. They loved each other. Edward, wanting to act on this, decided to ask y/n out on a date. And, much to his delight, they said yes.

Edward heard a knock at the door of his Riddle Factory.

"Edward? It's me, y/n." They said.

Quickly, he went to the door and opened it up. Letting them in, he closed the door behind them. He smiled, taking in their appearance. They wore (self insert). They looked amazing in the green light of his factory.

"Oh, Edward! It's beautiful!" Y/n said.

A table was set up, a white table cloth draped over it. Food, that looked like it was just prepared, sat on plates. A few candles were lit, illuminating the scenery, allowing y/n to see more of the area. Edward pulled out a chair, gesturing for them to sit down. Once they did, he pushed their chair in, sitting down as well.

"Well, I'll settle for nothing less than perfect for you, y/n." He replied.

"Edward Nygma, you're quite the charmer for a criminal mastermind." They giggled.

"I'm a man of many talents, what can I say?"

"And so humble!" They added sarcastically.

"Oh shush. Go ahead, eat. The food will get cold."

The two of them started to eat, the candle light creating a soothing atmosphere. Y/n took a bite of their salad, a blush covering their face when they looked up and saw Edward looked at them. Y/n jokingly covered their face with their hands, shielding them from his gaze. He chuckled, leaning forward and pushing them aside gently.

"There are plenty of things to look at in here, Ed." They smiled, taking a bite of their food again.

"Yes, but none as beautiful as you."

Y/n's eyes widened, taking a sip of water. They felt their face get hot quickly. Edward's gaze remained on them, breaking eye contact occasionally to take a bite of his food.

"This is really good, Ed. Thank you."

"Of course, y/n. I'm glad you like it. I figured making you dinner for a first date would be a good idea." He said.

"Mmm, that and if you go out in public you might get caught..?"

"That too. But, mainly the first point." He smiled a toothy grin.

The two of them continued to eat their dinner, smiling at each other every now and then. Eventually, the two of them finished up, Edward taking their plates and cleaning up everything. Y/n had insisted on helping, but he wouldn't let them. While they waited, they looked around, taking in the layout of the place.

"Where do you sleep? I don't see a bed anywhere." Y/n commented.

"Hm? Oh, it's upstairs." He replied as he finished cleaning.

"Why? You wanna see it?" He asked suggestively.

"Hm, maybe. That depends, what's gonna happen if I do?" They asked, grabbing his tie.

"Well, you are in my Riddle Factory. Maybe I'll ask you a few riddles?"

"Oh, exciting! My favorite type of foreplay! I love teasing my brains g-spot." They joked, laughing.

"Oh, haha. You're very funny. You're in my house. You expect me not to ask riddles?"

"Mmm, I guess that's true...Riddler..." They whispered in his ear.

Edward's eyes widened.

"Oh, y/n. You're starting something that you won't be able to finish until I let you..."

"And what if that's what I want, Riddler?"

Edward grabbed their shoulders, pushing them against the wall behind them. Instantly, he slammed his lips against theirs. He felt y/n's hands slither behind his neck, tugging gently at his hair. He groaned into the kiss, grabbing their hips and lifting his knee in between their legs. Y/n moaned, feeling his leg brush against the place they wanted him most.

"God, I've wanted to hear you moan forever." He gasped.

"Likewise..."

Without saying anything, Edward picked y/n up and brought them up the stairs, albeit with a little struggle since he wasn't exactly buff. Once they were up the stairs, Edward dropped y/n down on the bed and removed his jacket, tossing it on the ground. Y/n wasted no time, discarding all of their clothing until they were left in only their panties. Edward groaned, removing the rest of his clothes as well. Grabbing his hat, he went to toss it to the side, but was stopped by y/n.

"Leave it on..."

"Oh? And why is that?" He asked, placing it back on and crawling on top of them.

"Because, it reminds me of who you are..."

"And what is that, y/n?"

"A criminal..."

Edward smirked, trailing his hand down, grabbing their breast in his gloved hand. Y/n moaned, eyes gazing up into his. He chuckled, leaning down close to their ear.

"And you find it hot? Does knowing what I do make you wet?" He whispered.

"Oh, fuck...yes..."

"Hmm, and here I was thinking you were going to be vanilla. Now, you're underneath me, wanting me, The Riddler, to fuck you. Is that right?" He grinned.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want. You're my best friend, Edward. I love you so much. But, I know you aren't just Edward Nygma anymore. And I don't care. I love you regardless. I want you to show me who you've become." Y/n said, hand holding his cheek.

"I love you too, y/n. I always have. But, are you sure you want this?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Edward nodded, taking a deep breath. Letting it out, he balanced himself on his knees as he ran a hand through his hair. Y/n watched him, smiling to themself. After fixing the position of his hat, he adjusted his green-tinted glasses. His dark, almost black, gloves hid the veins that were subtly popping out of his hands.

"Who am I?" He asked, looking down on them with his dark eyes.

Y/n smiled, sitting up straight. Slowly, they brought a hand up to his bare chest, running a finger down it. Their finger trailed all the way down to his v-line, tugging at the waistband of his boxers.

"The Riddler..."

The Riddler groaned, pushing them back against the bed. He leaned over them, planting kisses all over their skin. Wherever he could place his lips, he did. Y/n moaned after every kiss due to him biting at their skin every time. He trailed the kisses down to their waist, just above their panties. As he looked up at them through his tinted glasses, a small smirk tugged at his lips. He grabbed them and ripped them off, the fabric tearing as he did so.

"Hey wh-!"

"Shut up, I'll buy you more. I'm the fucking Riddler. I've got more money than you know."

"Oh? So you're gonna spoil me?" They smiled.

"I guess you could say that..." He grinned.

Diving between their legs, The Riddler wrapped his mouth around their center. Y/n moaned, grabbing at his shoulders. He groaned, sucking and licking as he held their thighs down with his gloved hands.

"Oh fuck, Riddler!"

He groaned, biting down firmly on their clit before pulling away. Y/n groaned, upset at the loss of contact. That groan turned into a whine as Riddler blew gently against them, causing them to buck their hips up. He grinned, leaning down to look at them. Using his thumb, he wiped up their arousal off around his mouth, licking it off as he did so. Y/n moaned at the sight.

"How'd that feel, huh?"

"So f-"

"That was rhetorical question, I know how it felt. They way you tried to fuck my face was all the proof I needed." He grinned.

He leaned into their neck, biting at it harshly. Y/n whined, legs wrapping around his lower back. Their hands reached up, one grabbing at the back of his neck and the gripping onto his shoulder. Riddler continued to bite, suck, and lick at their neck. Every time he stopped, it was to check how the hickeys looked. If he thought it wasn't dark enough, he'd get back to work. Y/n's skin got too sensitive, trying to instinctively pull away. He noticed this and wrapped his hand around their throat, keeping them in place. He groaned against their skin.

"You aren't moving until I finish putting my mark on you." He ordered.

"Oh fuck, it's too much!"

"I'm almost done. Stop squirming."

With one more harsh bit, Riddler pulled away tugging their skin. Y/n whimpered, putting a hand against their neck. He leaned down, moving the hand and kissing over the hickeys he made. Each kiss was gentle and caring.

"People need to know you're mine. I'm the Riddler. If I want something, I take it. And I want you. And I know damn well you want me too, don't you?" He spat, grabbing their jaw.

"Y-Yes, Riddler! I d-do!"

"You look pathetic under me. You're so desperate for me to fuck you, right? Tell me. I wanna hear you beg for The Riddler to fuck you. Beg for me to dick you down in my own bed." He demanded, pinching their nipple.

"Oh fuck! Yes, I do! I want you to fuck me so bad Riddler. Please, I can't take it anymore!" They whined, trying to pull him closer to them.

Pieces of hair hung in his face, falling out from under his hat. His chest was heaving heavily, sweat glistening from the heat their bodies were radiating. His eyes were full of desire and love behind the glasses he wore. Even though he was the Riddler, he still had love in his heart. And, he intended to show that.

"Fucking....fuck. Fuck! I could listen to you beg all day. Especially when you look so ready underneath me." He groaned.

Y/n watched as he slowly removed his boxers. Their eyes widened as his dick popped out. Grabbing his boxers, he threw them across the room, not caring where they went. He bent back down, grabbing y/n's legs and propping them over his shoulders. Y/n watched in awe as he looked down on them, a seductive smirk on his face. Without a warning, he shoved the entirety of his dick inside of them with a quick and rough thrust. Y/n, caught off-guard and overwhelmed by the sensation let out a harsh moan, slowly evolving into a scream. Riddler gripped their hips, using it to stabilize himself as he continued to plow into them.

"Shit, look at you. Letting a damn criminal fuck you like this?" He moaned, mouth slightly agape.

"N-Not just any criminal. The Rid-Riddler..." Y/n moaned, head thrown back.

"Oh, you fucking...shit...that's fucking right. The Riddler is dicking you down right now, you should feel fucking privileged!" He groaned, glasses sliding off his nose.

"I do!"

"And how does he feel? How's he feel deep inside you?" He asked, pushing his glasses up quickly.

"S-So.."

Riddler picked up his pace, wrapping his arms around y/n and picking them up. He sat down on the bed, setting them on his lap, dick inside them the whole time. Grabbing their hips, he slammed them down on him, thrusting up into them as well. Y/n started choking on their words, indecipherable words coming out in whines and moans. The Riddler watched them as they bounced up and down on top of him.

"What's the matter? Can't get a fu-fucking thought out when my cock is inside you?" He spat.

"F-Feels so go-good..." They managed to choke out.

"Tell me something I don't kno- fucking shit - know." He stuttered in between thrusts.

"I'm g-gonna..."

The Riddler picked them up, standing up with their legs wrapped around his waist. His dick was still inside them as he placed them against the table near his bed. He flipped them over, bending them over the table. He grabbed the front of their neck, pulling them towards him as he railed into them from behind.

"Not until I say so you aren't!" He demanded.

"Fuck! More!" They moaned.

"God, you want more? Fu-Fucking slut...fine..."

Grabbing them once again, he pulled them off his dick. Y/n whined before he dropped them on the bed. As if they knew what to do, they got on their hands and knees, ass stuck up in the air. Riddler groaned, shoving their head down completely into the mattress as he fucked into them, making sure to go down at an angle. Y/n was moaning into the mattress, deafening just how loud they really were.

"You wanted more. So take it. You're gonna take everything The Riddler gives you!" He moaned, bending over and kissing their back.

"I w-wanna cum!" Y/n pleading, trying to back their ass up into him.

"Oh f-fuck, alright. Yo-You've earned it..."

He pulled out, grabbing y/n's hips and gesturing for them to sit on his face. Once they did, he put his hands on their ass, moving them back and forth against their mouth. His eyes were closed, focusing on using his tongue to get them to their orgasm. Y/n leaned over, grabbing the headboard of the bed for stability as they let out a long and erotic moan, slowly turning into a whine as they orgasmed. The Riddler groaned, sucking up every drop he could. Once he finished, he pushed them off. His chin glistened with their release, his tongue flicking out and gathering up the excess. Reaching forward, he grabbed y/n's head and put them directly over his dick.

"Suck. I want to cum in that pretty little mouth of yours, y/n."

Without hesitation, y/n opened their mouth and started bobbing up and down. The Riddler moaned, leaning back and gripping the headboard just like y/n had done. He watched, eyes heavy and lustful as his dick disappeared inside their mouth over and over again.

"Fuck, you're gonna sw-swallow every bit, understand?"

Y/n nodded, sucking at his tip. He moaned, grabbing a fistful of their hair and slammed them down fully. His face contorted, mouth opening and eyes squinting as he felt his orgasm approach. He muttered over and over to himself as he released inside their mouth.

"I'm The Riddler. I'm The fucking Riddler..."

Y/n pulled off of his dick, swallowing the contents in their mouth. He grinned, grabbing their jaw and yanking them towards him. Using his thumb he pried open their mouth. They stuck out their tongue. He saw that they had swallowed every drop like he ordered.

"Oh my, good job angel..."

Gently, he grabbed their shoulders, pulling them down to lay flat against his chest. His chest heaved, causing y/n to move up and down. The two of lied there for a while, catching their breath from the intimate exchange that just took place. The Riddler sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before rolling y/n off of him gently.

"Can I call you Ed now, hm?" They teased.

He nodded, removing his hat, placing it on the nightstand next to him. Y/n giggled, grabbing Edward's glasses and wearing them. He rolled his eyes, snatching them back.

"I can't see without those, thank you very much. Do you need me to fuck you again?"

"You're too tired to fuck me again."

"Of course I'm tired. I just fucked you into another dimension." He sighed, wiping sweat off his forehead.

"You're definitely right about that. Holy shit..." Y/n sighed, chest still heaving.

Edward got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom, turning around he gestured for y/n to follow him. They glared at him, flipping him off. Ed furrowed his eyebrows, confused, but then chuckled.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to break your legs. Let's go take a bath together, angel."

He walked over to them and picked them up. Carrying them in his arms, he walked into the bathroom. Y/n tapped his shoulder, causing him to stop. They pointed at the mirror.

"I want to see the hickey!" They smiled.

Edward's eyes widened.

"Uh, well I may have gone a bit overboard..." He trailed.

Y/n tilted their neck to the side, their mouth agape. On their neck, though spotty and a little distorted, was the shape of a question mark. Edward leaned down, kissing them on the head. Y/n looked up at him, a blush scattered on their cheeks.

"I wanted everyone to know who loves you..."

#fanfic writer #writers of tumblr #writers #fanfic #edward nygma #the riddler #dc universe #gotham #riddler smut #edward nygma smut

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daemon-in-my-head · 2 months

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We all know that Gortash would've had a fun time if he had been dragged to a Bhaalist ritual or service, Just the local tyrant surrounded by murder hobo gremlins while also staring in awe at the beautiful Bhaalspawn covered in blood, head to toe. Truly the most twisted of experiences.

But what would've happened if he had dragged the Bhaalspawn to a banite service? Dress them up and sneak them into a hidden dark corner, making Bhaals favourite little princess a banite for just a day?

I wrote about it. It's explicit and horny and bloody and as sacrilegious as it gets. And kinda subby Gortash because apparently this whole bit started way before I realised it.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 gortash #enver gortash #durgetash #bg3 durge #lord gortash #gortash x durge #durge #dark urge #daemons writing

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lafemmemacabre · 1 month

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Do I look like a Nightwish Listener. I mean, I do listen to like, 3 songs by Nightwish once in a while. But I mean, someone whose music taste is like, describable as Nightwish Listener?

(Not pictured, bottom half of my body is covered in leggings as pants and military surplus boots.)

'Cause I feel like I look like a 90s Lacrimosa Listener. Someone who picked up either Inferno or Stille and never looked back (which is accurate re: Inferno). Mayhaps an Umbra et Imago Listener. An Athamay Listener for those more acquainted with more underground artists.

Point is... Why did I go down to the warehouse at my job only for one of the girls to start playing Nemo by Nightwish the moment I stood near her. 💀

#I'm sure she didn't mean anything mean by it BUT THIS ISN'T THE LOOK OF A NIGHTWISH FAN!!!#Also that's one of the many Bad Nightwish songs #lafemmemacabre #undescribed

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ataraxiaspainting · 6 months

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Hier Encore I.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Warnings: Yandere themes, kidnapping, the reader is described as AFAB and uses she/her pronouns respectively, not SFW implications, misogynistic undertones (not from Chrollo), manipulation, references to religion, violence/gore, minor character death, and past stalking.

Word Count: 18k.

Ten Songs Like This Piece:

Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

4:00 A.M. by Taeko Onuki

My Girlfriend Is a Witch by October Country

Michelle by Sir Chloe

Sonne by Rammstein

Enemy by Imagine Dragons

Venus Fly Trap by MARINA

Maneater by Nelly Furtado

cult leader by KiNG MALA

Teacher’s Pet by Melanie Martinez

"She looked like a vixen, and that’s what she was; she had all the instincts of a female fox. She was the proverbial predatory female. She had what she wanted, now, and she was content. There was just the getting completely away with it that counted.” – Gil Brewer, Sin for Me

i. “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow."

The sitting rooms in these types of hotels have always been your favorite place to sit because of the scenery. There is almost always a large window overlooking whatever city you are temporarily placed in with your captor, making everything below you seem insignificant. You see nothing other than your faded reflection in the window and blinking city lights that are so small they seem like a city of stars. At the same time, you can only touch the framed glass panes or the couch you are sitting on. You can only hear Chrollo’s pleased hums and the occasional page-turning of his current novel. You cannot feel or hear the world outside, no matter how much you try to imagine such.

When you were working, you would use your phone to notify others of what you were doing at work or when you would arrive home, but now you can't feel your pants pocket where the phone was usually kept. It would vibrate or chime loudly as its duty as your alarm and messenger. The phone, once opened, would relay your family members’ voices, or your boss’, or your assistants’. Even if some voices were secretly irritating to you before, you feel compelled to admit that they are better than hearing nothing other than the squeaky wheels of a room service cart or the air conditioner. You cannot feel the rest of your work uniform, a classic white dress shirt and black tie. You cannot hear your co-workers’ drunken laughs as they cheer with large glasses of beer in their hands. A small thud catches your attention, making you turn your head in that direction. Chrollo is putting his book down on the coffee table in front of you two. It is closed, with the cover facing upward, and the title in a foreign language. His cup is empty except for a few drops, having been previously filled with black coffee. Yours simply has room-temperature water, still filled to the brim. You make eye contact for a second or two, his eyes calm and composed. Chrollo breaks it as his arm reaches out towards his coffee cup. He picks it up with grace, sipping quietly before setting it back down on its porcelain saucer. A small smile forms on his pale lips as he looks at you.

"You seem rather bored, my dear. Would you mind conversing with me?”

“No, I would not mind.” You say, your lips moving to mimic his own with precision.

“Marvelous. Would you like to talk about anything in particular?” Chrollo asks, his left arm moving to rest on the couch.

“Anything you would like to discuss.”

“If you insist.” He places one of his legs over the other; his posture is relaxed but his stare is suddenly intense. “There is something I would like to ask of you. Tell me, do you enjoy being here with me?”

“I do. I needed some time to adjust, but I like it here. I have fewer responsibilities than what I used to have.”

“Wonderful.” Chrollo’s smile widens.

You know that he would not be pleased if you told him the truth; that you feel nothing for him aside from disdain. His softness would fade and give way to his true colors rapidly. An eye-catching crimson red specifically. It is the color of blood, danger, fire, some species of spiders and snakes… It is the color of danger and anger. Perhaps he would threaten to murder a dear friend of yours. Perhaps he would hit you. Perhaps he would isolate you even further by not returning for days at a time. Perhaps he will tie you to the bed. …Perhaps he will kill you. It would be easy, you know it from the bits of strength he has shown you. All it would take is a simple wave of his hand and–

“I enjoy having you here, beside me. Your presence is very comforting.” His eyes glimmer for what seems like less than a fifth of a second, a light that you learned only shows when he is curious about something.

“Did you want to ask me something?”

“I am glad you noticed.” His head tilts slightly to the side. “I do have something I want to ask you.”

“Well, what is your question?”

“Do you plan to try to run away from me?” His cold tone and facial expression are unlike the one he had a few moments ago.

“No. I do not.” You shake your head and take his hand gently. “What better place is there to be other than having you by my side?”

Chrollo’s eyes seem to soften at your answer. His posture returns to one of no worries. His shoulders are not as tense. His breathing is a bit steadier. He looks at your hand with a slight smile. He leans a bit towards you. He squeezes your hand lightly. You put your head on his shoulder to further convince him to believe the lie. Your captor hums with a pleased voice.

He is cold to the touch. It is like your hand is in a blizzard, a small warm flame surrounded by snow. There is a slight stinging sensation. It is colder than literal ice on your skin. Chrollo’s grip is tender yet strong, making it clear that he does not want to let go of your soft hand.

You feel his nose go into your hair and dare not do anything to stop it.

Your kidnapper inhales sharply and sighs fondly. His breath smells like mint; sharp, fresh, and cool. To distract yourself from the unpleasant truth, you look around the hotel room. There is a rose bouquet in front of you two, still fresh since you both arrived this morning. They are a deep burgundy color, similar to that of the city lights outside. The glass they were placed in is intricate with flower markings. The coffee table is rosewood by the looks of it, most likely polished right before you two came. The curtains on the sides of the large window are a fawn brown, obviously to match the roses. The carpet is a beige with chocolate brown swirl patterns on it. You try to follow one with your eyes but get lost in it after a few seconds. The couch you two are sitting on is beige as well. Perhaps the reason why this room is so dull is because of how colorful the city outside of it is. Designs like this are probably why this city has so many tourists. Either that or Chrollo chose its blandness specifically because he still wanted an aura of superiority, both literally with how high the hotel room is above and in spirit with the colors. It is ironic, but Chrollo’s white dress shirt is the brightest thing inside this room. You wonder if his clothing choice was on purpose too.

You know yours was. A black dress that stops just before your knees, with gold earrings and anklet. It is a part of your plan to lower his guard. You just washed your hair a few hours ago and put on a bit too much perfume. You walk with confidence yet not too much of it. It is similar to how you used to dress when you went to parties hosted by members of high society, tasked to butter them up a little to the higher-ups’ requests for funding public safety projects. Those people were pompous for certain, but still childish and easily fooled. Chrollo, on the other hand, is pompous but intelligent and a manipulator himself, hence why you have done this dance for the past thirteen months for him to lower his guard. You think it is working, but it is not time to escape just yet.

There are still matters that must be attended to. Like a possible escape route. You know that if you try to escape Chrollo in this hotel he will catch you quite quickly since this room is so small and he will for sure notice if the only hotel key is missing. Also, you note that you cannot know for sure whether or not Chrollo fully trusts you at this point. You plan to ask him to take you on a date tomorrow and then run away once you see an area with much fewer people. You will hide a change of clothes in your purse and change your appearance. You will use a false name from then on. You will try to notify your loved ones about your whereabouts and tell them to move within a few days to be safe just in case the Troupe knows where they live. Then you will try to go north then east using the money you have secretly been stealing from him. If he says no or still has a tight grip on you throughout the day, you will not try to escape that day and try within a few more months. You will repeat this process until you have escaped successfully. You must make sure that you have loosened Chrollo’s grip on you enough, otherwise, he will catch you quickly. Who knows what will happen after that? Who knows if you will ever get this chance again? The answer is most likely never.

“Your scent… it’s nice.” Chrollo whispers.

You bat your eyelashes at him as a response.

Chrollo’s eyes appear to be full of adoration. Your makeup is fully done, a style that you know your captor likes. Winged black eyeliner. Black eyeshadow. Dark red lipstick. Your hair is in a braid with your bangs just slightly covering your eyes. Your nails are painted a color to match your eyes.

Deep down, you worry if this is enough, too much, or too little. If it is too much, he will catch on fast, and you will pay dearly for the consequences. If it is too little, he shall not be impressed and not take you outside tomorrow. It has to be just right. Chrollo leans in closer, still making eye contact as you bat your lashes. His hand is still grabbing onto yours, but it seems to have gotten a little warmer because of the heat of your own. Either that, or you had gotten used to it.

“You truly are a sight… My girl…” Chrollo’s other hand makes its way to your cheek. There is a strong scent of flowers coming off of you. He leans in more until his face and yours are just inches apart. “You smell lovely… Let me taste you.”

You hide your disgust and nod your head.

Chrollo’s lips touch yours. The cold hand that was holding yours also makes it upward toward your other cheek and squeezes lightly. His fingers are thicker than yours. His fingernails are in pristine condition as usual. His wrists are bony. His skin looks callused, but in actuality, it is quite soft. There aren’t any scars or injuries on them, which is remarkable considering what he does for a living. You wonder if those he killed had touched his soft skin and thought they were being strangled by silk instead of actual human hands. His lips are soft too. Chrollo’s kisses always were elegant and gentle, but you think that is because you have tried your hardest to not disobey him. You wonder if the people Chrollo extorted information out of knew the touch of his lips. At least some of them knew, you think. Chrollo is attractive to many people, both rich and poor. He had told you a few stories such as when he had a sexual relationship with an older woman who had a high-paying role in government and one day he ran off with all of the riches in her safe. She died soon after. Chrollo says she died of a broken heart. You don’t know whether he meant she was mentally heartbroken and was joking with you or she had her heart mangled by Chrollo during her last few minutes alive. You don’t think you want to know the answer either.

Chrollo’s tongue starts to trace your lower lip with greed. You feel your heart nearly skip a beat. Let me out, you want to say. Let me out. It feels like you are black and blue all over from all the tall hurdles you had to jump through to make it this far. A voice in the back of your mind says that the outside will never heal your wounds, but giving in would. It is better to just give up, it speaks in the back of your mind with a forked tongue and unsettlingly calm tone. It would be better to just accept it. Perhaps Stockholm Syndrome is settling in, or it is just your hope for the future withering away.

Your kidnapper bites slightly on your lower lip and looks deeply into your eyes. His pupils are dilated.

You look down at his lips and notice the hue of your dark red lipstick.

Chrollo doesn’t seem to care as he pulls your face towards his own again. Either that or he did not notice it, but it is unlikely considering how perceptive he is. His cold hands hold your warm face in place as you feel his hot breath tickle your nostrils. His elbows go underneath your armpits and stab into the couch. You hear nothing except for his breathing because you look at the clock on the wall to distract yourself yet again. It is nearly midnight.

Your perfume smells like dahlias and roses, which Chrollo has mentioned liking on you before.

His right hand pushes your right cheek into the arm of the couch and he starts to suck and bite your neck.

Your skin is soft as usual, looking like porcelain.

Chrollo has complimented it before. He has complimented your scent before. He has complimented your makeup before. He has complimented your hair before. You look beautiful, there is always a genuineness in his tone that would make you feel slightly sick like you were going to throw up whatever expensive fruit or chocolate you had eaten. You would never voice it though, because that would mean all the progress you have made to lower his guard would be for nothing. It would only make him test your sufferance further by doing unspeakable acts against you or your loved ones. The only weapons he has not taken away from you are your tactical mind and honeyed words. If you play them correctly, you will eventually escape and live a somewhat peaceful life.

Chrollo moves upward toward your ear and nibbles at your lobe softly. “You are so beautiful, my precious.” He whispers. “So beautiful…” His perfume smells like sandalwood and musk. “Like a doll. Truly, you’re quite the sight to see…” Chrollo purrs.

His fingers trace the top of your hair.

“Like silk. So soft and gentle…” His fingers dance downward on your braid, twisting back and forth. “The shampoo I chose for you was a good choice.”

You smile.

“White jasmine…” A sweet and soft scent. Swirls of saccharine and fruit. A slight tart smell of citrus. Universally ambrosial paired with the bitter words that leave your syrup-covered lips; making a charming palette of a flavor similar to that of biting into a square of dark chocolate mixed with orange zest. The texture is not ever strange because of how well-crafted the chocolate is. It is not difficult to swallow but doesn’t melt in the mouth too fast either. The delicacy’s flavor stays in the mouth even after it is fully dissolved, coating each tooth in a substance that has a lovely bittersweet taste like honey mixed with black tea. “It suits you.”

*~*~*~*

1995, April 10th. The Phantom Troupe targeted the Yorknew Police Department Headquarters, one of the largest public safety headquarters in the world, killing 1,891 people.

A lot of them were on the lower floors, scampering away to locked exits like stray, captured cats, clawing and screaming at the metal doors to open. You sometimes envy them, for their time with the Troupe was short. They knew how their fate was going to end; swift and twisted. A quick punch. A sudden stab. A loud blast of a firearm. They knew how they were going to die. They comforted each other as they were ripped limb from limb.

You don’t know how you are going to die, or when you are going to die. You could die in a few seconds, a few months, or a few years. You could die by being shot, being poisoned, or being strangled. No one came to comfort you, and no one comforts you now. No one listened to your struggles and cries for help as you were pushed in a black car, gagged and restrained. No one helped you in one of your most desperate moments.

You are tired of doing everything with the person that made your life a living hell. You want to go back to eating dinner at a restaurant and not feel an unwanted hand on your thigh. You want to go back to sleep with a loose arm around you and not a strangling one. You want to go back to talking to someone you like about a topic you like and not think your every move toward freedom is a gamble.

1995, April 10th. The Phantom Troupe targeted the Yorknew Police Department Headquarters, one of the largest public safety headquarters in the world, killing 1,891 people, leaving very few people to tell others of the tale. Perhaps you count, but you are presumed dead by the outside world so it wouldn’t matter anyhow. You are all alone and stuck in a situation akin to limbo.

*~*~*~*

Chrollo keeps batting his eyelashes at you across the dining table.

His hair is well-kept, he is wearing a fancy suit, and his nearly black eyes are wider and brighter than when you saw him last. It is well past sunset, the sky outside the window a murky, livid color. He is humming now, staring at you rather than the uncut steak in front of him. You are about to stop playing with your food when–

“Black is a good color on you.”

Your head jerks up. His eyes are even more vivid, and focused, while yours are uncertain. Your hand stops moving your fork to your mouth and falls back to the table lifelessly.

“Your dress,” he smiles.

“I…” You look down and close your eyes. You have to force your shoulders not to shake by thinking of happier times in your life. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” You refuse to look at him for it will show what you are feeling. Your heart beats so fast that you feel like you are about to go into cardiac arrest. “I have something for you, after dinner.”

He has just come back from another successful heist in this city. It makes sense.

“I’m not very hungry, Chrollo.”

He hums. “You are going to go hungry.” You hear him place his cup of wine back onto the table. “At least eat the radish soup. You need to eat your vegetables.”

As if brought to existence by his words, you smell the bowl of vegetable soup beside the uneaten steak. You mostly smell the tartness of the tomato slices, big and bright. Mint comes second, fresh yet light compared to the tomato smell. You don’t smell the radish, though, despite the chunks of them being large enough to hardly fit in your spoon.

You open your eyes and lift your hand to pick up the spoon in the bowl. You take a piece of radish in your mouth, quickly chewing the peppery vegetable.

You still refuse to look at your captor. You just try to focus on eating the soup so you can at least temporarily avoid his gaze. You are never this nervous when you are about to try to manipulate someone into doing what you say, but Chrollo’s eye for tactics is about the same as yours. When you are almost done with your soup, you suddenly hear Chrollo’s chair move, followed by footsteps.

“You’re nervous.”

You shake your head and take the last bite of your soup. “I am not. I am just thinking about something, dear.”

He grabs the hand that was holding your spoon. His thumb makes circles around your own.

You take some of the quietest and quickest deep breaths and look at Chrollo, the corners of your mouth turning upwards into another deceitful smile. “You don’t need to worry about me. You already work hard enough as it is.”

Chrollo hoists you up and hugs you.

The window gives way to the starless night sky as dark as obsidian–the moon a slight crescent, and a snow white. It floats atop the carefully cut trees onto their tips and stays there, like a strung puppet in a finished puppet show, unmoving until called upon again by its master.

“What is my beautiful [First] worried about?” He murmurs.

“I was examining something.” Your fingertips graze against his palm. You plan to recreate the classic dance of Black Swan Pas de Deux, with you taking on the role of Odile. “Something most peculiar.” Your hand clasps onto his. “I am like a train. I can only run anywhere my rails take me. I suppose you are a new track I have yet to explore, and the only option is to move wherever it is you take me.” His hand feels warm, but not warm enough to comfort others. “It has been an unexpected journey with many stops, but it is my purpose to keep moving forward until the end. The end’s length feels far and I feel that only through death would the tracks cusp.” You stand up straighter than before and your breath echoes in his ear. “People focus more on the train’s condition than the tracks but the tracks are the most important part of the journey. Without tracks, trains would not exist. So, Chrollo…” You feel comfortably numb and not as timid as you were a few minutes ago. “How do you feel?”

You look into your captor’s eyes, and all you see is hell. The very gates of hell in the eyes of a human being. When judgment passes, all of your sins shall be weighed. The only way for your sins to disappear before that day is to lie.

The Devil himself is waiting for the moment when your mask shatters and gives way to a horrid monstrosity. Only then can he punish you for your misdeeds.

“...How I feel, huh?” Long, silent fingers move like a spider’s legs up and down your back. He is now reciprocating your dance by playing the role of Prince Siegfried. The gramophone plays Beethoven’s Für Elise. “I think you're a fascinating woman, darling.” His tone is gentle, contrasting with the usual coldness and detachment he carries so often. He moves his other hand to the side of your face and gently caresses your cheeks. “You're smart, creative, and strong. You have a unique charm that sets you apart from everyone else.”

Like a rose, Chrollo’s thorns and stunningly beautiful features cut deep into both your psyche and the world around you. He has spent what feels like years trying to pluck your petals off one by one in a game of effeuiller la marguerite, the logic behind it being a bizarre combination of many things. His stalk, the axis that connects all his reasons, would be simple curiosity. He was curious to find out where your traits stemmed from, what and who made you the way you are today if you were hiding something nefarious behind that bright smile and kind voice of yours, and thus began his hunt for more knowledge. His calyx, a shield made of his in the form of sepals, represents how protective he is of his deepest, darkest secrets. He has buried them all beneath a temple of fake phlegmatism and honesty. The petals of his biggest and most colorful flower lead his admirers astray so they could never uncover the real Chrollo, which you think is a mercy in itself. Most of those who have seen his true self are buried along with it soon enough.

You want to take a lighter and light him ablaze so that he shall never reroot in the soil around him. The only way you can do such a thing is to play a game of effeuiller la marguerite as well. This is the path you must take to get your freedom back.

The key is to follow the hidden rules.

That means doing things you find repulsive but he finds lovely.

That means kissing him when he comes back. That means letting him do what he wants with your body. That means lying straight to his face when saying you are attracted to him. It will all be worth it in the end, you tell yourself.

You hum, acting like those words that leave his mouth are the things you want to hear the most.

“Those eyes, so grounded yet divine, are the only ones worthy of reverence.” His pale lips twirl upward like a ballet dancer’s arms. “I shall be honored if you choose me to be your apostle.”

“Do you see yourself when you gaze into my eyes, my beloved?”

“I do.” His voice seems breathless, almost drunk, his mind above the clouds and fantasizing about the future. Your eyes are similar to that of a small, round mirror that can reflect light just like the surface of a pond does.

“I see myself when I look at yours as well,” You sigh with a pseudo impression of an amorous tone. “I suppose we are meant to be together.” Like an elegant ballerina, you relevé. “So, Chrollo…” Your lips are so close to his. Your voice is hushed, calm, and teasing. “I have a favor to ask.”

His eyes light up with adoration, similar to how Romeo first saw Juliet at the Capulet ball.

“Ask me for anything you wish for and I shall see to it that it is done.” The hand that is on your back clenches it a bit more.

“I would like to go somewhere tomorrow.”

“Hm? Where would you like to go?” Chrollo’s tone is now a mix of curiosity and hopefulness.

“The planetarium.” Your thumb circles his. “That is if you’d like to oblige my request.”

“Of course.” His fingers curl into yours. He smiles as he speaks, his tone soft and sweet. “I’d like to go to the planetarium with you, especially since you have such a desire to go.” There is a twinkle in his eyes.

“Perhaps afterward we can go to a cafe and sit in the park?”

“That sounds like an excellent plan.” He casts you an unfamiliar glance before your lips meet. You start to back away as he lets go of you, and you pick up your glass of water. You take a few sips before setting it back down on the table.

The absence of sound doesn't please you, as the music from the gramophone has ceased and Chrollo seems lost in thought. However, you're not bothered enough to not enjoy the silence. You are envisioning a future of peace, where your captor never finds you again.

Donned in velvet attire and sipping on tea, you frequent the sandy shores, observing the ebb and flow of the ocean. Undisturbed, you create music with your violin for an audience of one; yourself. A life of uttermost pleasure.

“I shall prepare for tomorrow, then.”

Chrollo nods with a satisfied hum.

“Very well.”

You slink off into the bedroom, grab your purse, and pack the money you had stolen from Chrollo’s jackets and pants. It is not much, but it should be enough to cover travel fees. You also pack more comfortable clothes and shoes to run in. They are clothes you have never worn, so they are the clothes most likely to not be recognized by him. You lay out a fancier outfit over your purse to hide it.

Now all there is to do now is wait.

*~*~*~*

“Get in.”

Your mouth is gagged with a tied scarf and your hands are restrained with handcuffs. There is no warmth in the monster of a man’s tone. There is only an open car door and a forceful push. Later, a slamming sound.

You are covered in blood, your supervisor’s blood–he tried to use you as a shield against the intruders but was met with a bullet to the head–so much blood. Your dress shirt is as red as a traffic light or a ladybug, though you would prefer the traffic light because you signal to those still dying not to scream anymore, that there was no point in trying to delay the inevitable. There are small pieces of his flesh inside your mouth, you are certain of it considering that you can taste something metallic and flabby. Multiple small, flabby things. Your colleagues’ screams still ring in your ears; they hurt so much.

You can still hear the crunching of their smashed skulls and bones, the alarms, the emergency protocol announcement, the gunshots, the loud severing and ripping of muscle and fat, and–

“Greetings.” A voice, calm and placid. A man sitting beside you, visibly comfortable with one of his legs over the other. He moves his left arm and clicks your seatbelt into place, then does the same with his own.

A blaring statement outside the car. “Two billion Jenny and she’ll be set free,” one of the thieves said, probably the one that pushed you into the car, “if we aren’t paid by next week she dies.”

“Do not worry.” The man beside you speaks in a lulling tone. “It is simply a ploy. We won’t kill you, I will make sure of it.”

You look down at your legs and shoes, considering what to do or say if the gag is ever taken off.

A firm grip on your shoulder and a say of your name makes you look at him again. His eyes are filled with nothing but obsession and make your heart stop beating for a split second. “If I take this gag off of you, do you promise not to scream?”

You nod, because what choice do you have other than being compliant?

There is a pleased hum and a praise you cannot exactly remember, then the scarf is off and on the floor of the car.

“I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I?” A warm chuckle. “My name is Chrollo, and… for now, just let me say that we are going to get to know each other quite a bit.”

*~*~*~*

“Stars are such wonders, aren’t they, dearest?”

You give an impressed hum as you look around and sit in your seat beside Chrollo. The room soon goes dark as the public speaker starts talking.

There is a single spotlight on her that is a bright white which contrasts with the pitch-black room. She bows as some of the audience claps, you included. You don’t think Chrollo clapped, though.

“It's been estimated by astronomers that there could be as many as one septillion stars in the universe.”

“Yet there is only one of you,” Chrollo whispers in your ear.

The announcer speaks with a proud yet modest tone, not being too outward yet not being too quiet to not draw any attention to herself. “The Milky Way galaxy is home to over 100 billion stars, with the Sun being the most well-known.”

You are not the moon above, you aren’t even a star. You are simply a piece of an asteroid, soon to fade to dust in the cold, cruel darkness of space.

You look at him and smile. He smiles back at you.

“The creation of this universe brings me joy, for it has led me to cross paths with you.” The spherical walls light up and turn a dark blue and fill with holographic stars and meteors. “I’m glad.”

“These fiery balls are composed primarily of hydrogen, with traces of helium and other elements.” The speaker continues. “Each star has a unique lifespan, which can vary from millions to trillions of years, and their characteristics shift as they age.”

“The Sun is needed to sustain life in this galaxy, just like how I need you and you need me.”

You hum again and grab his hand gently. “You do not need to hang a legion of stars around yourself to show you are not Neptune, for I already know you are my Sun.”

“Should the sun disappear, the Earth would be devoid of light, warmth, and life.” It is like Chrollo had a vision of the future. “Initially, the planets would follow their orbits for a short while before eventually exiting the solar system. Although the sun's rays would continue to reach us for a brief eight-and-a-half minutes after its disappearance, the world would be plunged into darkness.”

“Within a week, temperatures would plummet to zero degrees Celsius, causing the demise of most flora and fauna.” Chrollo resumes. “As time passes, the atmosphere would also gradually disappear. The Sun is very important if you cannot tell.”

“I concur, beloved.”

“It’s a miracle the Sun’s warmth exists in the first place, or that this planet’s orbit was placed in the perfect environment.” Chrollo sighs peacefully, but you aren’t sure if he is in awe at the planetarium or you. “We wouldn’t have existed if this planet was made in a different area of the universe.”

“It is quite beautiful, isn’t it? Thanks to the Sun, now we have a bright future ahead of us all.”

His hand clasps onto yours. “I make a vow to you that our bond will never break, and we will remain inseparable for eternity.” His mouth is so close you feel like he is about to kiss your ear. “Do not worry about the details, for I shall take care of everything.”

*~*~*~*

There is one mirror. There are two hanging jackets. There are three lights above you. There are four paintings on the wall facing the entrance. Five vases contain your favorite flowers, two on the floor and three on the table. There are six rows of stone bricks, then carpet at the start of the stairs. Seven glass panes make up the decoration above the entryway. There are eight engravings on the locked wooden door, each of a flower or deer. Nine smells are coming from upstairs; garlic, cheese, tomato, onion, poultry, olive oil, butter, pasta, and basil. Let me out.

It’s dark outside, but the chandelier above provides enough light for you to see that the door is still locked. As much as you want to mask your real feelings from your captor, you have to acknowledge the fact that you cannot breathe. There is a call from upstairs. You put your book down on the sole chair. There are ten steps leading to the second floor.

There is one staircase leading to the third floor. There are two rooms: the living room and the kitchen. Three footsteps are approaching you. Four words leave Chrollo’s mouth, but you cannot remember them.

You cannot cry. You cannot do anything but smile and hug back. His embrace feels like it is burning your skin. He says something about your beauty. He grabs your hand gently. There are ten steps you take as he guides you to the stove.

There is one pot full of food. There are two plates. Three instruments are playing on the gramophone; violin, piano, and cello. There are four chairs near the kitchen table. There are five books, with one of them being an open cookbook. There are six candles on the table with the lights turned off. There are seven wrapped gifts on the table. There are eight seconds of Chrollo hugging you.

You unwrap the gifts. Matching necklaces with engraved names on them. A gold ring with rubies. A decorated photo of you taken from a Polaroid. A large box of your favorite chocolate. A butterfly pin. A velvet coat with a spider embroidered on the back. Chrollo’s smile almost makes you shudder.

There is one chair you sit in. There are two utensils before you; a fork and a knife. There are thoughts in your mind for three seconds; fantasizing about you stabbing him. There are four seconds of temptation before you ignore it. There are five seconds of silence before you say you love Chrollo. Gifts are celebrating six months of you being held captive. There are seven roses in the vase in the middle of the candles. There are eight bites you take of your food, and then force yourself to eat the rest through your nauseousness.

Let me out.

*~*~*~*

The nutty smell of coffee brings you a feeling of slight warmth and relaxation. The chalkboard above the barista reads Carte Du Jour with white words, listing off the assortment of pastries, coffees, teas, and fruit-flavored drinks. Chrollo is ordering for you two, spending what feels like an unnecessary amount of Jenny on pumpkin muffins, chocolate croissants, and two espressos. The barista audibly gasped when he gave her a tip that can best be described as more than what she would make in a week.

The two of you soon make your way to this city’s largest park and sit on a bench away from most people. There is a musician loudly playing clarinet nearby, but he is not close enough for you two to see him, and he is too invested in playing his instrument to notice anyone. The sun is well above the pond, making the ducks swimming in it almost glow. Chrollo is still holding the paper bag full of the pastries and his espresso, but you are holding yours in your hand.

He is still, visibly calm, and enjoying the sight.

You feel an invisible pressure on your neck. It’s just a knot in my throat, you think to yourself, closing your eyes. The sight of his stillness gifts you a veil of comfort so thin that if anyone were to touch it it would tear. I’m not going to die. But you can’t breathe.

Your heart tells you otherwise. You can feel, no, hear blood pulse to the very tips of your fingers. Your feet tell you otherwise. They are cold. They hurt. They are adhered to the ground. Your arms and legs tell you otherwise. There is nothing but pins and needles all over. This is your chance, the little voice in your head says with blind reassurance. Who knows when you will ever get this chance again? Do it now, and be quick about it. But you can’t breathe. You can’t breathe, and you have to try your hardest to stop the hand holding your espresso from shaking and falling on you.

“Thank you for taking me here,” You smile the best you can, as usual. You try to not focus on your memories of Chrollo’s observation skills. “You made my day. This is one of the best experiences I have had in a while.”

There is sweat going down your forehead. Chrollo nods his head and smiles. You’re afraid, and you never are afraid. His head leans forward until your noses are barely touching.

He is so close you can smell the mint in his mouth.

“Of course, my dear. It is an honor to have you in my life, after all.”

“I… would say the same.”

He lifts his head slightly. “Spending time with you is always a pleasure. I would commit the gravest sins if it meant having moments like this forever.” You know that he is being literal. That is the reason you nearly shudder.

He is leaning in closer. You want to run. You have to run.

He backs away after kissing you, and that is when you strike.

You throw your espresso on him, its lid on the bench. You don’t focus on his reaction, because you are running as fast as you can with your purse.

You toss your heels to the side of an unknown road when your feet start to bleed.

You change clothes in a rat-infested public restroom. You throw everything aside from your stolen money into a nearby lake in fear of a tracking device being on something. You cover the wounds on your feet with toilet paper and then put on sneakers.

You put your hair up in a bun and cover it with a hood.

You wash your makeup off using lake water.

You soon get on a bus. Then another.

You then eventually take a train. For nearly three days you stay, hardly eating out of fear of vomiting due to nervousness. You walk the rest on foot until you have reached somewhere far, far away from that city.

You steal money from those around you when needed. You threaten those around you when needed, threatening them to stay silent or their fate will end at your hands. You make use of a few kind-hearted people who let you into their homes when they see you, dirty and injured on the side of the road. They clean up your wounds, give you warm food, and you repay them with a simple, untrusting, and cold goodbye and leave without a trace.

You move from place to place every few hours.

Then you move from place to place every few days.

Eventually, you move from place to place every few months. You ultimately settle into a town by the seashore, under a fake alias. You move into a cabin by the beach with no warmth other than a few candles and no entertainment other than books or writing. You eat the cheapest food the local saloon sells that day.

The day you escaped was 1996, May 9th.

It is now 1997, August 3rd.

*~*~*~*

The speakers blare a sound akin to ambulance sirens. A man’s voice soon after, panicky and horrified.

He spoke of evacuating as soon as possible through the emergency exits. An infamous terrorist group is in the building, he said. Then the sound of a gunshot, cries for mercy, then another voice.

“Run, rabbits.” Whoever was speaking had confidence and arrogance.

Your supervisor stands up from his desk and his guards pull out their guns. You look around for a way out. Screams from outside the office. Flesh being ripped apart. The evacuation door was locked, as much as you and the guards pushed and pulled.

The main door was kicked open by a man taller than any you have seen, ripped apart by its hinges, and fell on the floor. The guards shot at him, but they reflected off of him like he was made of iron. He was fast, fast enough to smash their brains in with his mere fists. He laughed loudly, amused. Your supervisor grabbed you by your hair and put you in a chokehold.

A gun was put to your head.

He threatened to shoot you. The threat was met with a gunshot behind his head, his body falling on top of you as he cried out for mercy, and his blood covering you from head to toe as someone dressed in black slashed his body again and again.

You put your hands up and close your eyes, expecting the same fate as you hear his corpse falling off of you with a loud thud.

…

Instead, your wrists were grabbed and put in handcuffs. A hand on your shoulder and a pat.

“We can’t have damaged goods. You have been chosen to live… at least for now. Congrats.”

A push that blurred between light and strong. A walk out the office doors and to the elevator. A thumb pressing the down button. The elevator doors opened with an automated voice saying going down. Another button is being pressed, the doors closing, and jazz is playing.

One of them, the swordsman, asked how people working (or worked, really) could wait for an elevator every day to go to the top floor, saying how boring that would be if it was him. You cannot tell if he was joking with you or was genuinely curious. The elevator slowly goes down, the light at the top of the button selection decreasing from seventy to one. The doors open. Another push.

A walk out to the lobby.

“Oh, do you guys think that the pocket change from that dude will be enough to buy some snacks from the vending machines? I’m pretty hungry right now. Do you guys think so?”

A woman with magenta hair rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You are such a child, Uvo. You want to get snacks, now?”

Another scoff in response. “Hunger is part of the everyday human experience. Don’t think you are so above it, Machi.”

“Fine.” The swordsman speaks, clearly annoyed. He looks at you with a neutral expression. “Take her to the car and Feitan and I will get you snacks, my treat.”

The man wearing all black rolls his eyes.

“I never agreed to that.” He shakes his half-masked head. “I am also not hungry. We can also get food elsewhere. Vending machine food is expensive. Waste of money.”

Machi rolls her eyes in turn.

“Everyone is dead already.”

You are closing your eyes and imagining being somewhere else, anywhere else than here. A cafe. A ballet. Anywhere but here.

“I’m hungry.”

The swordsman punches him in the arm.

“Ow, Nobu!”

…

A man crawls on his arms towards you all, his legs ripped off. He cries out and curses as he coughs up blood. Curses for their family. Curses for eternal damnation. They are quickly snuffed out by Uvo’s punch and brain matter splatters all over the lobby floor.

Then silence.

The man called Nobu sighs, visibly exhausted. He looks at Uvo like he is two years old. He asks Uvo what snacks he wants. He responds with something meaty or cheesy, like jerky or something. An alright leaves Nobu’s thin lips and he asks you where the vending machines are.

You feel like you are about to soil yourself. Why the hell are they acting so normal after killing an entire building full of people? But with a shaky voice, you tell him that it should be on the 61st floor because that is where all the workers go to eat lunch.

A damn it leaves his mouth then, and another roll of his eyes. But he thanks you, and he and Feitan go back to the elevators.

Uvo and Machi stare at you.

“Listen,” Machi finally talks to you. She tries to smile, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort. If anything, you feel like you are about to cry more at the sight. She puts her hand on your shoulder. “We don’t want to hurt you. Far from it, if that helps.”

It doesn’t. You just look down at your feet.

A sigh. Another push.

“You could have tried to be more gentle, Uvo. Now she’s scared of all of us. What’s the boss gonna think?”

You stare at them. They glare at each other.

“Machi, she’s supposed to be our hostage, at least to the public eye.” He looks at the receptionist's desk, where the receptionist’s corpse lays, her neck bent to an acute angle. You look around for any possible escape route. You see one. The main entrance.

You run fast. Until you are outside. Uvo’s arm wraps around your waist and pulls you back.

“Listen. We do not want to hurt you. But we have to at least seem like we are rough handling you.” His hands go on your shoulders and make you walk towards a foreign black car. “Sorry. But it’s for the best. I promise.”

“Just put this on.” She wraps a scarf around your mouth, gagging you.

“Hey, you’ll have a good life from now on. Trust us with that, at least. You’ll be happier now.”

Uvo pushes you, hard, when he sees police cars approaching. He opens the car door. A malicious smile appears on his face, like a mask he has just put on.

“Get in.”

You hope that whatever is in store for you isn’t as bad as what your colleagues suffered.

*~*~*~*

There is a man around your age who goes out around the same time as you to smoke by the beach.

He has dark hair with a slight purple tint, making you assume that it is dyed. It looks long and it is swept to the side, except for a quarter of it which is shaved. He has near-black eyes, but they don’t look as intimidating as Chrollo’s. If anything, they look slightly sorrowful.

You go on the fishing dock as usual with a box of cigarettes and a lighter in your sweater pocket. The man is there, searching his own pockets and visibly frustrated.

“Do you want one of mine?”

He looks up at you. His eyes wander from your face downward towards your extended hand which holds an unlit cigarette. He doesn’t answer and just stares at it.

“I noticed you are looking in your pockets for one.” You smile, but as you usually do with fake kindness, not caring enough about him to get too close.

“I…” His eyes squint, slightly suspicious. Perhaps it takes a moment or two for him to realize you are talking to him. “Yes, thanks.”

“Hmm. You’re welcome.” You hand him the cigarette and you take another one out for you. You put it in your mouth as you pull out your lighter from your sweatpant pocket. “So, what is your name?”

He doesn’t answer, because he is looking in his hoodie pocket again.

“Damn it.”

You extend your lighter out to him. “Do you need a lighter?” He takes it. “You sure are forgetful tonight, huh?”

He presses the ignition button and orange flames arise. The end of his cigarette turns a yam orange. He hands your lighter back to you.

You do the same with yours. You then put the lighter back in your sweatpants pocket.

You inhale the puff of smoke that enters your mouth, an ash gray. You take the cigarette out of your mouth with two fingers and exhale. You then look back at the man, who just did the same thing.

“Thanks for the help.”

You smile.

“Of course.”

“I don’t think I have seen you before so you must be the one that just moved in, right?”

You nod. “Yes.”

“Cool. Out of all the places you could have gone, you chose this town.” He raises an eyebrow, visibly curious. “May I ask why?”

You fix your eyes on him, taking a few moments to process the unexpected nature of his question. He inhales his cigarette again and breathes out the smoke.

“This town seems quaint.” You finally answer. “The locals are nice, the expenses aren’t that much, and the scenery is alluring.”

You use your cigarette again and use your other sweatpants pocket to fish out your portable cassette player along with your headphones. You then realize that you had forgotten your music tape at your house. You sigh and then put it back into your pocket. Footsteps get your attention and you see the stranger approaching the shoreline. He bends down and picks up a small rock. He throws it to the sea and it bounces; one, two, three, four.

It then sinks beneath the waves, and the man mutters something under his breath. “Should have been more.”

You take a few steps towards him.

“What is your name?”

“Sebaste.” His tone isn’t warm, but it’s not cold either.

You stare at each other for a few moments in awkward silence. Your tone is just as strange as his as you say, “My name is [First]. A pleasure to meet you.” You place your lit cigarette on the pier and stomp on it until it goes out. “Have you lived here your whole life?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Do you live with a family member?” You’re not sure where this question came from, but you are for sure more interested in him than you realize. He turns his back to you.

“Yeah.”

You look out into the deep and dark sea.

“I don’t have any family here.”

“Mmhmm.”

His voice is slightly dismissive, but you don’t think he means to be.

“It must be nice, having people you can rely on.”

He looks at you again, but you cannot tell what he feels.

You don’t look at each other after that. You look down at the items that line the beach instead. Even though they are indeed damaged, they feel more like treasures than whatever expensive gifts Chrollo gave you.

There are mostly large shells that are still vibrant despite it being nighttime as well as being covered in sand. They look like fragments of a broken rainbow when the moon’s light reflects in just the right areas. You have contemplated bringing one home and stringing it into a necklace.

Sebaste takes his cigarette out of his mouth and points out to the ocean. There is no sound aside from the waves and occasional seagull calls. His two fingers trace the stars beyond the horizon.

He says there is a constellation called the Hydra. According to Sebaste, during summer, the season of rebirth and peace, the Hydra constellation appears as a reminder of assured death to those below it, whatever arrogance mortals may have had disappearing in an instant. Their fates loom over them like the blade of a guillotine, knowing their hearts shall stop working eventually, the color of crimson fading like flowers in autumn. Memento mori, you suppose.

“You sure know a lot about nature.” You say.

“It’s interesting, but it’s not what I mainly like learning about.” He throws another stone into the sea. One, two, three, four, five. He throws his cigarette out into the ocean and watches the flame die out. “I’m mostly just coding on my desktop. That,” He lightly chuckles. “And playing games. Video games and board games, as well as comics. They are fun.”

You don’t know anything about those either, even more so than nature. “That’s nice. I… don’t know anything about those. They seem cool, though.”

He chuckles at that. You do too.

He turns to you and takes a few steps forward.

He says that that seemed sort of obvious considering how upright your posture is, and how polite you speak. He offers to play games with you sometime and lend you comics. He walks you to your house and says a warm goodbye.

Although the certainness of seeing each other again is unknown, this fleeting encounter holds a remarkable significance, because you don’t feel as alone as you usually do.

You don’t feel alone. It is a strange feeling.

*~*~*~*

You wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty.

“Beautiful.”

Chrollo wanted to watch The Nutcracker.

“Just beautiful.”

The dancers’ feet move with grace and precision as the orchestra plays. Green, yellow, and pink dancers. You let Chrollo have his way with which performance tickets to buy because you didn’t want to fight and lose all of your progress.

“Don’t you think so, dearest?”

You look from your compact mirror to him, your lipstick still in hand.

“Yes.”

Chrollo seems to be smiling, but you cannot tell because of how dark the theater is. It’s a miracle you can see your lips in your compact mirror.

“I spot something even more beautiful, however.”

You almost want to shudder as his hand reaches the one carrying your mirror. He closes the reflector gently. You are thankful for how dark the theater is now because it hides whatever lovesick expression he is wearing. He is the one paying attention to the ballet, while you daydream of being anywhere else.

There is a light chuckle. A light squeeze. A light whisper of a compliment you pretend to listen to.

“So beautiful.”

…

“Thank you for taking me.”

It’s Christmas Eve. A fur coat covers you and keeps you warm. It is snowing, and the sight makes you slightly less nervous.

You and Chrollo are walking out of the theater. Hand in hand. As much as you want to break away. Your captor soon opens the car door, and you sit down.

He goes to the driver’s side and sits down too.

The car soon drives away onto the salted road.

“I had fun.” You try your best to smile. “I did.” You look out the window to the snow-covered, dead trees, as well as the reflection of your red dress and white coat.

Chrollo grins as he turns the steering wheel left. After a few moments, the car stops. “Wait here for a moment. I will be back in a few minutes.”

With that, he steps out of the car and leaves the key with you to make sure the alarm does not go off.

He makes sure you lock the doors before walking away.

You don’t dare go sit on the driver’s side. You don’t dare touch the steering wheel or press on the gas.

You just sit with your thoughts until he eventually returns, and you unlock the car.

“I have something for you,” His voice is almost cooing, but is laced with honey. There is a large box in his hands.

He extends his arms out and you take it. He sits back down and closes the car door.

“Open it,” He croons. You pull on the tied ribbon until the knot is undone. You take off the box’s lid. Macarons. Colorful macarons, all spread apart within the box just enough for people to see their fillings. Green, yellow, pink. But there are also a few white ones in the center with red filling.

You thank him and he tells you the flavors. The green ones are pistachio, symbolizing good fortune in the years ahead. The yellow ones are champagne, symbolizing joy and celebration. The pink ones are flavored strawberry, symbolizing life.

There is a nefarious twinkle in his eyes as he points to the white ones. The cookies are vanilla with a cherry filling.

They symbolize renewal and love.

He says that the macarons illustrate your relationship well.

You agree, because what else is there to say?

*~*~*~*

Sebaste invited you to a summer night on the shoreline. He said there was something special going on tonight.

Most of the townspeople are by the fisherman’s shop, overlooking the pier. They bring lanterns and are huddled together in their sweaters. Knowing Sebaste, he has probably gone somewhere more remote on the beach.

You are right. He is sitting on a picnic blanket with a few takeout boxes of food. He welcomes you with a grin as you sit down with him. There is sashimi, cheese-covered cauliflower, and fried calamari.

There is something behind him. But you don’t ask about it.

Sebaste is a rebellious loner, from what you have come to know from both the townspeople and himself.

He hardly has anyone over because of how judgmental his stepfather can be. He often fights with his stepfather and half-sister, and as a result, was forced to live in the basement as per his mother’s wishes to not cause any more problems. He loves his mother, he does, you can tell. She seems to love him too.

His room is often full of takeout boxes and used cigarettes, as well as video and board games and his desktop. The couch in his room always has comics and food stains on it. But you sit on it anyway to wait for him to finish his work before talking to you about whatever interest he currently is fixated on.

You sit on the picnic blanket and face the shoreline, your dirndl moving slightly with the wind. Your boots are covered in sand, but they are the only ones you have that will keep you warm while keeping the sand out of the inside of them. It’s just you, Sebaste, and the ocean.

Sebaste isn’t smoking for once, and neither are you.

You both agreed to focus on the ocean instead.

Sebaste gets a bit closer by scooting over. He is smiling gently, a smile you know hardly anyone else has seen. He takes a rock and throws it into the water, making it skip. One, two, three, four, five, six. He cheers quietly at his accomplishment, and you do too.

He looks at you.

He looks at your left hand that rests beside his right one. He moves just a hair closer. He clears his throat when you make eye contact. His pale cheeks are a slight pink.

“I…” he starts as his face turns away from you. His voice is a bit jittery. “I think I like you. Romantically.”

Does he mean it? His body language is slightly tense and his shoulders are uptight. His left hand comes out from hiding behind his back as he shows you a bouquet. There are blue thistles, purple sweet peas, and orange poppies.

He waits for a response as he turns to you again, visibly nervous.

*~*~*~*

You continue to try to pull away, but your efforts are unsuccessful.

Chrollo seems somewhat amused at your struggles, though he still doesn't force you to stop moving against his grasp.

"You're acting in a very ungrateful manner, my dear. I've given you this beautiful home and life that you couldn't even dream of on your own. You should be happy and thankful for what you've been given, not trying to escape from it. This is what love is. You are too young and immature to understand that, it seems."

"Love? Do you call this love? You're insane! Let me go!" Your eyes fill with tears as you try to pull away, and your voice breaks as you speak. "You're insane! You're insane and sick and disgusting! You're... you're..."

Chrollo still doesn't force you to stop trying to escape, and he doesn't raise his voice or grow angrier at your words. He just waits patiently.

"Monster... Disgusting... Sick freak... Monster..." Your voice is shaky as you continue to speak, and your eyes are filled with tears. "How can you justify this? What was wrong with my life before you? Why did you have to destroy everything? Why do you enjoy hurting me?" You yell and cry out, still trying to pull away, even though you don't seem to be hurting him.

Chrollo, once again, doesn't seem to be bothered by your words. As the alarm goes off, signaling your time out of restraints, he turns it off and drags you to the bedroom once again. Something tells you that you won’t be sleeping much tonight, less so than usual.

*~*~*~*

“Ah. I… like you too.”

“Really?”

You give him a genuine smile as you nod. “Yes.”

He smiles at that as his posture becomes more relaxed. You take the bouquet from him and set it beside your small backpack. Sebaste seems unsure for a second, most likely thinking that you have misunderstood his question. He thinks for a second or two as his face becomes laced with slight worry. You smile again as you take his hand gently. His face becomes bright red and you chuckle at the sight. He does too, but quieter.

His fingers then intertwine with yours.

He doesn’t smell of cigarettes like he normally does. You assume he put on cologne. Refreshing, sweet, and crisp. Pine cologne, with a hint of citrus.

He bashfully giggles a bit more. He puts his free hand on the back of his neck.

“Does… this mean we are… dating now? Or is this just a fling or…”

Your grip on his hand tightens slightly. You both seem giddy. This is the first time either of you has felt this way. You seem to have sparked something in each other.

“If you want to, we can start dating.”

“Oh? You… actually like me?”

He seems confused or doubtful as to why you feel the way you do for him.

“Yes, I do. I like you. Would you like me to enumerate the reasons why?”

He looks unsure of it all like you will stab him in his back at any moment.

“You’re kind to those who are kind back. You’re willing to do anything for those you trust. When you trust, you trust wholeheartedly. You have interesting hobbies.”

Sebaste chuckles again. “So, beating you within six turns of Go Fish and collecting frogs covered in mud is interesting to you, huh?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as unique as you. I mean that most positively and genuinely. Well, what do you like about me then? I’m curious.”

“Everything about you. The way you walk and talk, your hobbies, the way you present yourself. Everything about you is just so alluring and admirable. You are everything I am not.”

“I suppose we always love what we cannot have ourselves. Opposites attract, after all.”

He nods.

The ocean starts to glow a bright blue. You look at it confused, with one of your eyebrows raised.

Sebaste giggles once more at your lack of knowledge of what is happening. “Every year, right before summer ends, jellyfish rise to the surface of the shore and glimmer.”

You’re too awed at the sight to put it into words. “Thank you for inviting me, I didn’t know about it. It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah. Beautiful.” He looks at you instead of the ocean.

*~*~*~*

You take a deep breath. You’ve come to pay what’s owed.

You knock on the door and wait for a response. After a moment, you hear footsteps approaching the door.

It opens and James is standing there. When he recognizes you, his face turns into one of triumph.

“Hmm, so you have come. Just like you promised,” he says to you in a voice a mix of arrogance and gratefulness.

“Yes. The… night you wanted.”

James’ expression changes to a wide grin. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down,” He says to you with a chuckle, stepping aside to let you into his apartment. “Come in, come in.”

He steps aside and motions for you to enter, closing the door behind you. It is for the greater good, you tell yourself. To get information out of James, you need to make him believe that you are interested in him.

James is very happy that you kept your word. He’s smiling widely.

“Come in, I told you that I would host a special evening for you,” He says to you, sounding sincere and eager to please. He takes your hand and leads you inside the apartment. “I have a surprise for you,” He says to you, leading you deeper into the apartment.

You have to play the part of the seductress to the best of your ability.

“What is it?”

The usual city apartment, it looks like. Messy and full of mildew from the floor to the ceiling. By the only non-musty window there is a plastic up on the ground with drops of water coming down into it from the ceiling. Drip, drip, drip. You can only hear the drips of water and you and James’ footsteps. You cannot feel your true emotions, because you have a job to do.

James brings you to the only lit room in the apartment; the dining area. The circular table seems to be made of poplar and has a dark stain in the center of it. There is a vase of dark red roses on the top, clearly just bought. The chair you sit in is squeaky and is also made of poplar. James is staring at you. You can only hear the dripping of water, the squeakiness of the chair, the broken air conditioner, and James’ chuckles. Drip, drip, drip. James is still smiling, and staring like you are a piece of meat. You suppose you are, at least to him and at least at the moment. You smell cigarette smoke and spoiled food. You lean down to smell the roses, but you cannot smell them because the foul stink of the rest of the apartment is so much stronger. You pretend to anyway, a pleased hum leaving your painted lips. His eyes are wide and unblinking. Another chuckle, and another drip, drip, drip. His smile widens even more as he looks at you.

“Close your eyes,” He says to you in a soft, commanding tone. “I have a surprise for you,” He adds. “I want it to be a surprise. Keep your eyes closed.” He pauses for a moment, waiting for you to close your eyes.

You cover your eyes with your hands.

“That’s good, that’s good,” James’ smug voice says. “Just wait one minute.”

You hear his footsteps on the creaky floorboards quieting, making you assume he has gone elsewhere. You hear a cupboard opening and closing along with glasses clinking.

“Now, remove your hands from your eyes,” James says.

You do as you’re told and remove your hands from your eyes. James smiles at you, revealing the surprise that he had promised. On the table in front of you are two wine glasses and a bottle of expensive red wine. Cabernet. "This is my special surprise for you," He says to you, still sounding sincere and excited. James pours both of you a glass of wine and places one of them in front of you. He then raises his glass and holds it up in your direction. He smiles at you charmingly and says, "To you, [First]. And to your beauty."

You smile at James and cheer with him, raising your glass and taking a sip of the expensive red wine that he's poured for you.

James smiles at you, still looking charming and sincere. "Tell me," He says to you, "What do you think of the wine?" He takes a sip himself, smiling as he savors the taste. "I always buy the best when I entertain a guest as lovely as yourself," He says to you with a wink.

“It’s good. But… I feel like it won’t compare to you.” You wink back at him.

James smiles and takes another sip of the expensive red wine that he's poured for you. He seems to like your subtle flirtation, as if it's having the desired effect. "Oh, don't worry," He says to you with a charming smile. "I've been looking forward to this night all night. You're just as wonderful and beautiful as I remember," He adds. "I can hardly wait to spend some time alone with you."

James takes another sip of the wine and continues to stare at you, still smiling.

“Am I as beautiful as you say?” You blink your long lashes at James, your eyes gazing into his with a gentle but seductive expression. Your hair is loose, gently framing your face, and you look ravishing.

"Of course," James says to you with a smile as he gazes back at you. He reaches out a hand and gently strokes a streak of your hair, letting it fall back into place after it has been gently moved by the gesture. "You're the most lovely woman I've ever seen," He says to you confidently.

“What do you like about me?”

"Every inch of you," James replies, still stroking your hair with a smile on his face. "From your eyes to your long lashes, your hair, your skin..." James pauses, looking into your eyes for a moment. "To your soft lips, your small, delicate hands," He adds, still stroking your hair lightly. He looks at you with a charming and passionate gaze, as if he can't get enough of your beauty.

“...Would you like me to kiss you? It would be our first.”

James looks delighted by your proposition and nods slowly, in response. He finishes stroking your hair with one last, gentle touch and gazes at you once more. "Of course," He murmurs, his voice softer and more passionate than before. He pauses for a moment before taking the initiative and leaning forward to kiss you slowly and softly. His lips press gently against yours, and he holds you close as he pulls you into a gentle, intimate kiss.

Drip, drip, drip.

It’s for the greater good, right?

You kiss back and return James' affection, feeling the heat of passion slowly build as the two of you kiss. You hold him close and slowly pull him towards you. The kiss is soft and tender, and although it is a rather chaste kiss, it leaves you breathless and feeling dizzy. After a few moments, you both come up for air to breathe, and James looks at you with a warm and sincere smile.

"You're a wonderful kisser," He says to you softly. "I've always imagined it would be like this..."

At any cost, the greater good must come first.

“Should we take this to the bedroom?”

"Yes," James replies with a nod. "Let's go to the bedroom," He adds. "I can't wait to be alone with you." He takes your hand in his and leads you out of the dining area and into a small bedroom. You enter the bedroom and see a large, comfortable bed in the center of the room, with the moon shining through the window. James closes the door behind you and leads you closer to the bed.

You sit on the bed and open your arms. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

James smiles at you and steps towards you slowly. He takes off his jacket and throws it on a chair next to the door. He then comes closer to you and smiles, leaning forward to kiss you passionately. His arms are wrapped around you, and his body is pressed against yours. He begins to kiss you deeply and passionately, his lips lingering on yours for long moments.

James continues to kiss you, and as he does so, his hands begin to explore your body. He lets his fingers run down your arms, leaving soft, tender trails of affection on your skin. As his lips move to your neck, he begins to bite it softly. He starts to explore and taste every inch of your skin, leaving small marks of affection. You feel a jolt of passion and desire course through your body as you feel James' lips pressed against your neck and his teeth lightly biting you. As he continues to kiss and nibble your neck, he begins to breathe more heavily.

You pretend to groan and moan as James continues to kiss and nibble your neck. You lean your head back and close your eyes, trying to appear lost in pleasure. You feel his lips move down your neck, leaving little, soft bruises of passion. You let out another soft moan as he continued to kiss your neck, nibbling your skin and letting his teeth leave marks of affection.

"Do you like that?" He whispers to you, his voice deep and passionate. "More?" He asks, sounding breathless and eager.

Drip, drip, drip.

“More.”

James chuckles softly before moving his lips back down towards your neck once again. He bites your neck and kisses it again, this time leaving more marks of affection. You pretend to moan in pleasure once again, feeling James' breath against your neck.

"How does that feel, dear?" His voice is low and seductive. "More?" He asks gently, biting your neck once again.

“I want you to touch me all over.”

James pauses for a moment, his green eyes looking at you with a charming and seductive expression. He smiles at you, and you notice his eyes are filled with desire. "I want to touch you also," He says to you softly. His hand gently touches your cheek and strokes your hair. "Please, let me explore you," He whispers seductively. He moves towards you and gently pulls you towards him, kissing you softly before moving his hands towards your body.

As you feel James' hands start to take off your clothes, you begin to feel some of the passion and desire that James had shown before fade away. But as James continues to take off your clothes, you start to feel the heat of passion and excitement come back.

James seems intent on savoring and enjoying every moment of this moment with you, every moment of intimacy and passion. He slowly undresses you, taking off each piece of your clothing, as if you were the most precious and beautiful thing in the world. His touch is gentle, and his eyes are filled with desire.

Drip, drip, drip.

“Touch me, touch me everywhere, for your lips worship me.”

James pauses as he hears you speaking. He gazes at you for a moment, his face filled with a mix of passion and desire, as your words have left a deep impression on him.

"Oh, my love," He says to you softly. "My lips worship you," He adds, leaning forward to kiss you again.

His hands begin to run over your body, caressing you in all the right places. His fingers trace soft arcs over your skin, leaving trails of affection and passion wherever they go.

…

You find yourself standing in the middle of a large and eerie graveyard. The sky above you is dark and cloudy, with little sunlight filtering through the clouds. You take out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, lighting up a cigarette and taking a few puffs. As you lean against a gravestone, you see a figure standing in the corner of the graveyard, just watching you. You can't quite make out who it is, the figure looks like a shadowy silhouette, but you can see the orange glow of a cigarette in their hand as well.

It’s James.

As you take another puff from your cigarette, you see James stepping closer to you, his figure now becoming slightly more visible in the dim light.

"Hello, [First]," He says quietly, the tone of his voice hinting at a slight twinge of concern for you. He takes a drag from his cigarette, his expression still difficult to make out in the shadowy light. "How are you feeling?" He asks, looking at you with a sense of curiosity in his voice.

“I see you kept your word.”

"Of course," James says, taking a soft puff from his cigarette. "I promised you, didn't I? I'm not one to go back on my word."

You notice James looking at your cigarette, seemingly a bit tempted by it.

"Can I have a puff?" He asks, looking at you with a tiny hint of a hopeful expression on his face. "I've been craving another cigarette for a while now."

James quickly steps forward, seemingly going in for a kiss, but you quickly duck out of the way and move away from him. He stops in his tracks, not wanting to make any sudden movements or startle you. However, he still looks at you with a tinge of frustration and disappointment on his face.

"You don't want to do anything with me, do you?" He asks as the light from his cigarette illuminates his expression for a moment. "Am I just not good enough for you, is that it?" He adds.

You keep your attention on your cigarette, ignoring James' frustrated expression and question as you take another puff. After a few moments of complete silence, James finally breaks the silence once again.

"I knew you were like this," He says, his voice filled with resentment and anger. "I've always known you were like this," He adds, moving closer to you once again. "And yet, I still fell for you like an idiot." He pauses for a moment and takes a drag from his cigarette. "You're just... so damn tempting," He adds.

“...Hmm. It’s my specialty.”

"Yeah, yeah, I know," James says, seeming slightly irritated. He takes another puff from his cigarette, the orange glow on it making his eyes seem brighter than usual in the dark. "You know, that was the reason I was attracted to you in the first place." He adds, his tone becoming a bit quieter. "Your specialty of seducing men... and women." This time, there was a subtle twinge of sadness in his voice. "You're just too damn gorgeous to resist, I guess." He adds.

“...It has its benefits. I don’t hate you, just so you know.”

It seems like James still hasn't given up in his attempts to kiss you, despite your repeated refusal earlier. He moves in towards you once again and leans in close to your face, his expression becoming a bit more excited and hopeful. That's when you see his gaze locked in on your lips, and you realize his next move before he even makes it. You quickly duck away from him, moving out of the way just in time to avoid his lips.

"I told you, stop." You say firmly, not wanting to give him another chance to kiss you. “It was a one-night stand. That’s all it was, and… it was for my matters.”

"Yeah, yeah, I know," James sighs, his tone becoming somewhat frustrated once again. He takes another drag from his cigarette, the light from it illuminating his face for a moment as he looks straight at you. "It was just a one-night stand," He echoes, seemingly to himself. "But... for some reason." He pauses for a moment and looks at you with slight confusion. "I still have feelings for you," He finally says. "Even though I know it's stupid to feel this way..." He adds quietly.

“It was just something I had to do.”

James seems to pause for a moment as your words sink in.

"What?" He asks, seeming slightly confused. "Do you mean... you had to sleep with me as part of an investigation or something?" He asks. "Or were you not attracted to me?" He adds. "You felt like you had to sleep with me, even though you didn't want to?" He stops for a moment to take a few more puffs from his cigarette, the light from it glowing orange in the dark. "Is that... what are you saying?" He asks.

You take a soft puff from your cigarette as James continues to look at you with a slightly frustrated expression on his face.

"I want the truth, [First]." He says, sounding more serious this time. "I want to know why you slept with me..." He takes a final puff from his cigarette before looking at you once again. "Was it because you were attracted to me? Or was it because you felt like you needed to sleep with me for some other reason?" He asks, his tone becoming a bit quieter again.

“...I suspected you of something.”

"A suspect, huh?" James says, sounding only slightly confused. "So this was all part of some elaborate plan to figure out who I was?" He pauses for a moment as he thinks about your words, taking another drag from his cigarette before speaking up again. "Was... Was I really that suspicious, [First]?" He asks. He seems slightly hurt by your words but still manages to hold on to his composure as he looks at you with a bit of apprehension.

“...You were. You drove me five hours to that seaside town without a second thought, even though your guard shift at that hotel had just ended. I had to know if you had other motives… aside from sleeping with me.”

"I guess that makes sense," James says quietly. "So, that's why you decided to sleep with me..." He adds, taking another drag from his cigarette before speaking once again. "Is that it?" He says, his tone sounding slightly less annoyed now. "You just wanted to gather information on me, and nothing else?" He asks. "Did you like, not enjoy your time with me in the slightest?" He adds with a tiny hint of disappointment.

You take a deep puff from your cigarette, the smoke rising upwards into the air before mixing with the gloomy clouds floating above. You can see James looking at you with a bit of disappointment on his face, but you just keep silent.

After a few moments of quiet contemplation, James finally speaks again.

"So, that's it, huh?" He says quietly, his tone becoming somewhat resigned. "You just... slept with me for information and nothing else." He takes another drag from his cigarette, the orange glow from the tip illuminating his face in the darkness.

“...That’s correct.”

"So... you don't like me?" He asks, turning to you with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "It was just... part of the job?" He adds. He takes another puff from his cigarette, his eyes moving back to looking at the clouds above. "Is there nothing else you like about me?" He asks softly, turning to you once again. "Not even a little bit?" You can see James' expression change, his heart is affected by your words. "Please don't be silent again," He adds quietly.

“…You aren’t useful to me anymore, so from this point forward you will not see me again.”

"Not useful to you, huh?" He says softly, sounding a bit hurt by your words. "So... now that you got what you needed, you're just gonna toss me out like a piece of trash?" He asks with a tinge of bitterness in his voice. "What happened to the [First] I thought I knew?" He says, sounding slightly frustrated. "Don't you feel at least a little bit bad?" He adds. "Even a tiny bit?" He takes another small puff from his cigarette before looking at you again with mild concern.

You start to lean away from him before he suddenly grabs you and pulls you towards him, the two of you now face to face. James then places his hand behind the back of your head and leans forward, trying to kiss you once again. Before you can get out of his grasp, he kisses you forcefully, pressing his lips against yours for a few moments as he tries to make you kiss back. Once James is done, he lets go of you, his expression still filled with passion and determination.

"Well?" He asks, sounding a little annoyed. "Where's your response?"

“...You know,” You throw your cigarette to the ground and step on it roughly, making a loud footfall noise as you squish it against the cobblestone. “I was going to let you go on with your life as I found no ties to the Spider.” Your hands go into your trench coat pocket. “But now you have forced my hand. Most unfortunate.”

James takes a moment to process what you had just said. “W… What?” He looks confused and panicked. “What do you mean by that?”

You display a smile, yet it lacks any semblance of kindness.

“The Phantom Troupe? You’re… a part of the Phantom Troupe?” The man takes a few steps back in fear, a stark contrast to how he was just a few moments ago.

“No.” You say firmly. You hear James sigh in relief.

“Thank God.”

“But,” You add, taking a few steps closer and still having that grin. “I promise you that soon, you will realize what I mean. Very soon, indeed.”

James laughs loudly and arrogantly like a crow’s caw. “You’re going to kill me?” He takes a few steps closer as well and crosses his arms, smirking. “Sweetheart, I don’t think you can even touch me.”

“Never say never.” With a smile on your face, you glance back while making your way towards the graveyard's exit.

James angrily yells at you to come back, but you don’t listen and soon you are gone.

He better prepare himself for death while he still can.

…

You broke into James’ neighbor’s apartment.

Victor, you found out later, was his name. Not that it mattered much. He was reading a book, Crime and Punishment, on his couch and facing away from the entrance. He didn’t have any instinctual gut feelings that someone was in his home, standing above him with a blindfold, ropes, and a scarf. He had good taste in books, at least.

“Greetings,” You bend down to the slumped man, weeping with his hands and legs tied, his tears wetting the white blindfold. “I have a favor to ask of you. Then I shall let you go, alright?”

Your voice is soft, and gentle, like a mother speaking to her crying toddler. Like a Venus fly trap, your jaws will soon lower onto your unsuspecting prey. Tender fingers snake around the back of the stranger’s head and untie the gag. A shushing sound leaves your lips as a finger lays on them for a second or two. You roll on your ankles backward and stand up. You tell him that if everything goes well, he can leave. He simply nods, giving up right away.

Your hands go into your trench coat pockets for a second, worshiping the fur that lines them along with your forged ID card, portable cassette player, and flip phone. It is just to make sure they are there in your jacket and not left out as evidence of the performance about to happen. The guests of honor are James and Victor, and they will never know it.

Drip, drip, drip. Through the thin walls, you can hear the usual drops of water coming from James’ ceiling to the container he probably has there. Drip, drip, drip.

“I just need you to say a few words.”

Your demand is sturdy, not taking no for an answer.

You open up a window and a gentle breeze flows in, making your braid sway from side to side. After a few moments of silence, Victor says that he will do anything if it means he can leave afterward. The floorboards are creaky and splintered and damaged from all of the feet, wheels, and canes that move on and off them.

“Repeat after me.”

You look down on him like a God. He is nothing more than a dog.

James deserves this. That’s what you tell yourself. James deserves this. James deserves this for being scum and only seeing you as a possession. He deserves this. He deserves what you are about to do.

The sun is rising behind you. You bear resemblance to a masterpiece crafted with the utmost precision and the most vibrant pigments. Your arrival is akin to that of a deity. Drip, drip, drip.

You take your hands out of your pockets.

“Say the name James Ericsson. Please.”

Your stare is vivid, and even with the blindfold on you know that Victor has sensed its intensity because he says. “James Ericsson.”

You smile and your hands dance with one another in a sort of waltz.

There are cries of pain and the sound of bones bending like plastic straws coming from next door.

Victor falls to the ground, not breathing. It is done.

…

The photos were shown on the news, late at night to prevent younger children from seeing them.

There was nothing left of James' upper half.

There was a huge gaping hole in his skull where the brain burst out. The face was completely gone, caving in on itself. As his body was crushed by the invisible pressure, his chest and arms were ripped apart, the muscles and organs ripping out and sticking to the walls, and the larger pieces of meat slipped down with copious amounts of blood, accumulating on the poplar table adorned with dead roses and a shattered glass vase that had been broken. The rest of his stomach spilled out onto the floor beneath the table he had been standing next to.

Victor was found dead at his apartment. There were no signs of a break and is presumed to have died of a heart attack or stroke. You were careful to attach and remove the blindfold, gag, and restraints so that no bruises or marks formed.

It is somewhat regrettable, but there was no other way. You know that. It was for the greater good.

Right?

There was no other way, right?

You know that there was no other way, right?

Because there was no other way, right?

They had to die for the greater good, right?

Right?

…Right?

You ride one bus after another back to town with something inside you telling you that this is wrong. James’ screams, his snapping bones, the way his muscle and fat separated like he was a slain cow being cut into pieces by a butcher. Victor’s begging to be set free, and the way that he trusted that you would let him go after he did what you wanted. All of this is wrong, a little voice in the back of your mind says to you.

This isn’t a crime. It isn’t.

The rest of your brain tells you that.

It was a necessary evil. James deserved it, he deserved every ounce of pain you had inflicted on him through the thin apartment walls. You can imagine hearing the dripping of blood from the formerly white now red ceiling.

Drip, drip, drip.

…

You eat at your poplar dining table, alone, in a squeaky old poplar chair. You have only managed to take a bite or two of your food before feeling the urge to vomit. You drank half of your cup of water though, at least. You would have preferred bleach or soap, though. Something basic.

That way your insides would be scrubbed clean by the mix of enzymes, organs, bacteria, and a strong base. Your skin, eyes, and hair would be cleansed with the sweat and tears produced afterward. You pick up your spaghetti with your plastic fork.

Your stomach churns and it feels like it is eating itself. You run to the bathroom, overcome by nausea. An acidic smell and taste. They are both sour and nasty.

You gag like you are being choked by a ghost or your guilty conscience. You are loudly gasping for air through your vomit-covered lips.

Drip, drip, drip.

Plop, plop, plop.

Bile piles up in the toilet water, making it bright yellow. You hold onto the toilet seat like it is your lifeline. After a few more moments of heaving, you adjust your posture to be more straight.

You walk back to the kitchen and put the dinner food in your refrigerator. It hums as if it is pleased with how you are feeling.

Drip, drip, drip.

There is some water leaking from the faucet. You put a cup under it and try to ignore what it reminds you of. You hope it goes away soon. You do. More than anything.

You want it to go away, and you would do anything to make it stop. But you’re not a plumber, and the only nearest one is in a neighboring town a few hundred kilometers away and his fees are worth a few thousand Jenny. Even if he was nearer, you wouldn’t be able to afford his services. Most unfortunate for you.

You still feel like you are being strangled.

Your neck’s muscles tighten and the tendons are sticking out. You aren’t going to die, but it feels like it. Everything hurts. Everything hurts and you are disgusted with yourself. But you have to keep going, for eternal freedom.

Your skin is covered in goosebumps.

You want to vomit your organs out.

You want to scream until your vocal cords swell so much they cannot work.

You want to swallow and cover yourself in bleach and soap and scrub yourself until your skin is rubbed raw and bleeding.

But you can’t, because you are living in a town now, one where the neighbors are so friendly and everyone knows each other. But you can’t, because someone will come to you, worried sick about you. But you can’t, because you are too appalled in yourself right now to lie to them and pretend you are better than them.

You cannot pretend you are cordial and graceful, because if anything you are sick. Sick and twisted. Your secrets mirror your repulsiveness. You want to lean away from yourself and run from yourself.

But you can vomit your organs out.

But you can scream until your vocal cords swell so much they cannot work.

But you can swallow and cover yourself in bleach and soap and scrub yourself until your skin is rubbed raw and bleeding.

That’s because this house is nearly impossible to find for most. Only the porch light is currently on, with the rest of the place in complete darkness. There are overgrown weeds and grass, trees, and fallen branches everywhere. You have tripped many times and almost broken something in the past. You are getting better, though.

This property can be the place where you bury whatever sins you have committed. No one comes here, and no one will come for you if you scream. No one will hear you because this property is cramped and large.

But you are still living in a town full of people who all know each other.

What if someone hears you?

It is best not to think about it, you tell yourself.

It is best to just let it all out, you tell yourself.

It is best to ignore and lie to those who ask you about it, you tell yourself.

So you vomit again.

You scream so loudly you lose your voice.

You scrub your hands so hard under the sink with soap until they bleed and have scratches all over them.

No one comes for you.

Good.

*~*~*~*

You have always been someone who never takes the time to appreciate the beauty around you.

Your thoughts are constantly besieged by a multitude of voices. Unloving, taking pleasure in others' misfortune, outrage, fear, happiness, delicateness, peacefulness, besiege, schadenfreude, wherewithal. In due time, emotions will reach their boiling point, unveiling the authentic hues of your being; crimson red.

You can make people prefer you over the largest of diamonds with just a few words. Your words can be either their exposition or their denouement.

But you can’t bring yourself to use Sebaste. This feeling is odd to you, but you don’t complain about it. If anything, you feel warmer than you ever have been.

Your emotions find themselves trapped in a state of indecision, teetering between self-centeredness and pure joy. Something has gone off course. You.

You, who was born with an innate desire to only help those who would help you in exchange. You, who never ventured out to explore the depths of your being, to discover the essence of empathy. You, who have always used others in an attempt to better humanity as a whole, to be in control of others. It is what you do best; being in control.

So, why does Sebaste, an impoverished man, interest you so much? Why would you be willing to give everything you have away just to make sure he has a good life? Why can’t you just leech off of him like you do with everyone else?

It cannot be denied that he holds the position of your greatest vulnerability.

But you cannot bear to discard him.

Even if you wanted to. Even if he wanted you to.

You cannot leave him. He holds your heart in his gentle hands, and you will never get it back. There it will stay far past when his body is deep underground and lost to time.

You would jump into the largest crimson tides if it meant he was waiting for you beneath the waves. In the end, the amalgamation of your emotions will birth a monstrous force, unleashing nothing but devastation.

A colossus.

The devil that lurks within the deepest confines of your heart.

No exorcism or priest would be able to get rid of it. It will stay inside you until your last breath. Sebaste will eventually uncover the hidden transgressions within your soul, the deeds you committed to survive. The actions you took to elevate yourself above all others and everything else in this world.

In the future, when the stars twinkle no more, the moon loses its luster, and the night sky breaks apart, you will need to seek a new refuge to conceal your wrongdoings from the scorching beams of the sun.

If Sebaste ever were to discover the lies that are the foundation of the makeup used to cover your hideous, real face, or your sticky, sticky, crimson hands, what would be done to stop you? What would you do to stop him from leaving you?

You simply confine the devil into the smallest crevice of your heart, pushing it inside as far as it can go and locking the door. That way, if Sebaste ever were to delve into the labyrinth that is your soul, he wouldn’t find it no matter how much he looks. There the devil will stay even far after it starts rotting, and you promise yourself to keep it that way.

*~*~*~*

The flowers are in bloom. You don’t know what species they are though. The night sky is above you, cold, injured, and bleeding you. Your only physical weapon is your nails, your dull and split nails.

It starts raining. You don’t have a home of your own, so you decide that a bus stop will suffice for now.

Every inch of you is shivering. Every drop of blood that you bleed hurts. The forest is deep and dark and cruel. If any animals were unaware of your presence, they surely are now considering how you howled in pain as your leg toppled into a bear trap, and howled even louder as you clawed it off with your bare hands, making them all scratched up. The cicadas are crying, even louder than you are. They only respond to your pain with shrill, grating noises and the flaps of their wings. You have nowhere to go that is nearby. Not with your injured leg that has large, deep, painful markings of the trap’s teeth on it. Aside from this bus stop that is in the middle of nowhere. You’re not sure if any bus at all is even on this route anymore, considering how rusty and broken down this stop is.

You attempt to light one of the few matches you have left. It’s pitch black outside, and the match is your only source of light and warmth from the rain and the night. Your jacket is still caught in that tree, far away from where you currently are. Well, it wasn’t yours per se, but it was your only protection from the elements with its hood and heat.

Your cries are wasted on your injuries. You know no one will come for you, aside from predators if you bleed out and are near death.

You cannot see anything, even the path of blood drops you most likely made as you gripped your injured leg and began moving once more to the poorly taken care of bus stop, ignoring the pain that shot up with every step. It’s too dark.

You aren’t going to die, but it feels like it.

Even if Chrollo knew where you were and was on the way, it wouldn’t matter. This forest is too big and you may die of blood loss before he even catches sight of you or hears your pained cries.

There are most likely predators here. Wolves, bears, hawks. Something is out there, watching you, you are sure of it. You know it.

Eventually, the rain stops sometime after your match goes out and you close your eyes after refusing to rest for far too long. You catch a glimpse of the flowers, soaked with morning dewdrops and reflecting the sun’s rays.

Ah.

Columbines.

The usual white ones are called doves for a reason. They look like five doves nestled together from afar. The white columbines represent many things. Love. Innocence. Calmness. Peace. Foolishness. Winning. Ironic enough, you cannot relate to any of them.

You’re not in love with anyone. Your innocence was stolen from you long ago, far before you even met Chrollo. You aren’t calm, you are weeping. You aren’t at peace, you are internally fighting yourself as to whether to go back to your captor’s gilded cage. Perhaps you are a fool for running away from the warm blankets and fresh, expensive food. You aren’t winning anything aside from both regrets and desperate want for stability.

Maybe that is why these columbines before you are red. An eye-catching crimson red, as red as your wounds and the trail of blood left from it as you walked to the bus stop. They look like dead doves. They only represent three things. Passion. Terror. Trembling. You find a resemblance of yourself in them, as odd as it would sound to anyone who doesn’t know of or believe your current situation.

The trap didn’t have rust on it, right?

*~*~*~*

Chrollo and Sebaste are both difficult to understand for you. However, they also could not be more different. This dynamic is similar to a newborn witnessing dawn’s sunrise blossom from the night sky. Both confuse you, for both are very similar yet very contrasting.

Chrollo and Sebaste both know what they want and they would do anything to achieve it, as long as the people they love aren’t in any danger at the reward of attaining their desires. They only trust a handful of people fully while they ignore other people’s presence. They both have that dark brown hue in their eyes. They both wear darker colors. But Chrollo holds the past in high regard and loves history, meanwhile, Sebaste thinks of the future and modern times more so than the past and as a result keeps up with new technology and media. Chrollo looks at you like a hunter looks at a doe or rabbit, while Sebaste looks at you with purpose, for he knows who you are; an equal.

You look at them differently, too.

You look at Chrollo with a facade in your eyes, as you pretend to accept your role in his theater by dancing the waltz and singing praises.

You look at Sebaste with veracity, for he is the only one to have ever earned your genuine admiration.

If either were to see the cracks within the mask you wear if either of them saw what was underneath… it would all be over, wouldn’t it? Chrollo would know more about you than you ever did about yourself and use it against you. Sebaste would leave you all alone to rot away.

That is why you will play the role of a doting queen who hangs onto every word her lover tells her because it is the only choice you have.

It is the only choice you have, and all you ever can be.

It is all you ever will be, you say to yourself.

#yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo x reader #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere hxh x reader #yandere x reader #yandere #hxh #chrollo lucilfer #hxh chrollo #chrollo hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe #chrollo lucilfer x reader #hier encore.#ultraviolet.#author aya

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