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part 1
Simon Riley knew he wasn’t a good guy.
From a young age, he was aware that deep within him, in a place he couldn’t yet reach, was an abundance of sinister desires, impure urges, and even more morally questionable thoughts; all of his inner demons were slowly emerging, creeping to the surface, just waiting to be unleashed.
There were multiple times when he deliberately silenced the voice of reason in his mind, surrendering to the pervasive darkness that took hold of him. He was too weak to resist the temptation or the allure of the sinister impulses that were seeping out of him, cooing him to succumb — he revelled in the sheer exhilaration that indulging in his most sinister desires brought him.
And a couple of other times, he knew he shouldn’t have ignored the muted voice in the back of his head, pleading for him to stop, but he just wanted to feel adrenaline rush through his veins, as he yet again did things that could have easily earned him a death sentence if someone had caught him with dirty hands.
He was careful enough to avoid exposing himself.
Simon was extremely astute and intelligent. His every action was carefully calculated, and he meticulously planned everything he did. He was not a big fan of surprises, which ensured he has never been caught off guard. Consequently, regardless of the situation he was in, he was well-prepared for any outcome. No matter how desperate things may appear to others, he always remained composed and knew exactly what actions to take to get out of sticky scenarios.
However, as he continued on his path, pushing himself to the extremes, he soon hit his limit. His lifestyle began to weigh him down, clouding his judgement — he was no longer thinking clearly. His diabolical side had emerged and taken full control. Simon was well aware of the consequences that awaited him if he continued living the way he did. If he didn’t change, eventually he would find himself trapped, ensnared in a mess of his own making, with no way to escape and get out scot-free.
That’s when he made the life-altering decision to join the military. Immersed in the rigorous training and discipline of military life, he underwent a transformation that not only honed his physical abilities, but also taught him how to merge his gut instincts with rational decision-making. Additionally, he acquired an array of new useful skills, which he believed might come in handy if his darkness resurfaced. Although he made a solemn promise to himself to never use those skills in real life. From that point forward, he was in charge of his own mind — he won’t lose control ever again.
But Simon had a bad habit of breaking promises.
In the real world, where he was known as Simon rather than Lieutenant Riley, he was cautious of never revealing his true colours. He constantly suppressed the darkest parts of himself, always striving to maintain a facade of normalcy, pretending like his sick and twisted nature doesn’t constantly test his limits and push all his buttons, urging him to loosen the screws in his head.
But in the military, he allowed himself to let go a bit. In this environment, he felt liberated from the fear of judgment and dared to embrace some part of his true character. The military recognised and celebrated his unique way of thinking, as well as his unwavering determination to pursue his desires and reach his goals.
He was the perfect soldier, a killing machine, who always accomplished all assigned tasks with remarkable precision and success. And, while his methods were unconventional and the way he chose to do certain things was controversial, everyone turned a blind eye and looked the other way, since he proved himself by doing all of his duties efficiently and with excellent results.
However, Simon’s inability to control his anger and violent tendencies became a serious issue, and he was forced to take a mandatory break when his most recent outburst nearly resulted in the tragic death of one recruit, who infuriated Simon to the point that he believed he had no other choice but to crack the guy’s skull in order to force him to stop acting out and being an annoying prick.
So now, he had three long months to do whatever he wanted, yet he had no idea how he was going to spend all this time. Accustomed to a structured lifestyle with rigorous schedules, assigned tasks, and clear directions, he felt lost. After spending almost a week cooped up in his house, he decided he needed to shake things up and break free from this monotonous routine. Being trapped indoors started suffocating him, causing his thoughts to spiral and wander back to unwanted fantasies, impulses that he had been trying very hard to suppress.
He started going to the gym three times a day, experimenting with new workout routines and testing weird exercise machines, which he usually tended to avoid. On top of that, he began going out more, each night eating dinner at a different restaurant. When that got boring, he even attempted to make a homemade meal, but failed. In an effort to inject even more variety into his days, he introduced daily walks to his to-do list. These walks in the fresh air not only gave him a chance to stretch his legs, but also provided an opportunity to let his eyes wander.
Whenever he saw a pretty woman walk by, his imagination would often run wild. He would attempt to figure out what her name could be, what her profession was, what she was like in the bed, and whether she would smile at him if he approached her or make an excuse to get away from him as quickly as possible.
Simon wasn’t a romantic, or so he told himself. Regardless of who he dated or how much effort he put in, the women always ended up leaving him, claiming he was too controlling, too demanding, and too pushy. They felt suffocated by his constant questioning, overwhelmed by his constant presence, and frustrated by his constant need to know everything and his tendency to treat them as if they were incapable of taking care of themselves.
So, he rarely dated nowadays.
However, as he walked home one late fall evening, his gaze was drawn to you.
You were hastily making your way down the bustling street, gripping your skirt to keep it from flying up in the strong breeze. Your hair, which you had straightened just before leaving the house, was now a chaotic mess of tangles and knots. With each step, you kept tripping over your heels, scolding yourself for even thinking that wearing them was a great idea.
You appeared to be having a terrible day, and no one else would have given you a second glance. In weather like this, everyone was focused on themselves, eager to get home as quickly as possible. However, Simon saw you and was immediately captivated, unable to tear his dark eyes away.
Without even realising what he was doing, he let his feet carry him, while his mind continued to whirl. As if drawn by an invisible force, he followed the sound of your heels clicking against the cold concrete, staying far away from you, so you wouldn’t notice his presence, yet close enough to observe you from afar.
He took careful note of every little detail about you. He examined your short skirt, staring at the flimsy fabric, curious to see if the wind would lift it and reveal the type of panties you had on, or perhaps the fact that you weren’t wearing any — that was an exciting thought. Afterwards, he couldn’t resist allowing his gaze to glide down your curves, captivated by the motion of your hips, watching as they swayed from side to side.
Eventually, you rushed into the coffee shop, filled with people seeking shelter from the awful dreadful and hoping to warm up with a hot cup of coffee. Simon followed you in, the bell chirping as he opened the glass door and entered. You were already at the back of the line, your eyes skimming the menu on the wall to check whether they had your favourite drink here. Without hesitation, he pushed through the crowd, weaving between the tables, and finally stopped behind you.
His gaze travelled down your back, immediately noting the height difference between you two. He imagined how well you would fit in his embrace, with his arms wrapped around your shoulders and his chin resting on the top of your head.
Simon inhaled deeply when you threw your hair over your shoulder. He wasn’t an avid fan of fragrances since they tended to be either excessively sweet or had an overpowering scent, making him want to sneeze and itch his nose. However, the perfume you had sprayed on overwhelmed him. The sweet smell wonderfully complimented you, magnifying his growing obsession with you just a bit more.
The queue, which had seemed never-ending, became increasingly shorter. When you got to the cashier and placed your order, you realised you didn’t have enough cash to pay. You began frantically digging through your purse, hoping to locate some loose change, but after looking through your purse and pockets several times, you had to give up.
Your cheeks were flushed, and you tried your best to maintain your composure and not stumble over your words as apologies poured from you; you despised being in the centre of attention. Your embarrassment intensified once you realised you were holding the line and causing others to wait. It felt like all the eyes were glued to you. Low murmurs and hushed laughter could be heard. Perhaps they weren’t directed at you, but in the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but assume you were the main topic of everyone’s current conversations.
“Let me,” Simon said, swooping in. His shoulder brushed against yours as he handed his credit card to the cashier.
“You don’t need to—”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” he replied, smiling, giving you a brief glance before adding another cup of black coffee with three sugars to his order.
“Names?” The cashier inquired.
“Simon,” he said, turning to look at you. “And...?”
“Y/N.” You replied, your lips curling into a smile as you looked away, unable to maintain eye contact.
While you were quietly, in your mind, expressing gratitude to the handsome stranger for saving you and paying for your coffee, Simon was already letting his mind wander. Although it was his first time speaking with you and you hardly exchanged any words, he felt an immediate connection with you. It was as if you had known each other for a long time. He couldn’t help but notice the subtle similarities between the two of you. One of those being your shared love for over-sweetened black coffee.
And your name...
Simon thought the name suited you perfectly. It was neither too long nor too short. It flowed smoothly when he said it, and he couldn’t help but repeat it in his mind over and over again.
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