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hailsatanacab · 5 months

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Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #batpham #hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes #look. this has been in my mind for so long guys so long - and idk if its canon that the batfam have codes for time travel situations or what #but i feel like ive seen it before and if its not canon it should be #so here - how i think that would be funny to go down #i have so many thoughts about TUE and its place in a dpxdc crossover like holy shit there's so many ways it can go!!#i have another wip in the works thats kinda similar to this but with superman and i cannot wait to work on it again #there are so many ways i wanted this to go but i just couldnt get there - i wanted to keep it on the shorter side but like #perhaps ill have to expand #i just love the idea that like. theres a stranger at your table who knows you and knows you well. who knows the secret that youd die to keep #there's a stranger at your table and he says something and you know he's family. you know you're strangers but now...#now you have to be something more #oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM #i want to write this whole plot again and make it angstier #(me with everything)#anyway! sorry love you all hope you enjoy it!!

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prettyboybun · 9 months

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I am genuinely always thinking about being one of a pair of subs. I'm the obedient bunny, he's the bratty puppy.

Our dom has us kneel for him in the living room after having teased us all day. "Alright, listen, sweet things. I know you're all riled up for me, but I need to go to the store. When I get back, I'll use you both properly, okay?"

We nod, my pup partner squirming already, wiggling his hips. Our dom continues, "You are NOT to touch yourselves until I get back. Got it?"

I nod sweetly, and get my hair ruffled affectionately in return. My sub partner, on the other hand, bites his lip with a glint in his eye, nodding slowly. You could almost hear the cogs turning. Our dom partner gives him a look, but inevitably ruffles his hair as well. "Okay. I'll be back soon, I promise."

We sit still and kneel in the living room until the front door closes and we hear him driving away. Suddenly, my partner pounces on top of me. He's already rutting against my thigh and pressing kisses all over my face and neck.

"B-But," I gasp, "Sir, he said to- He wants us to-"

"I know, baby boy, but I need you so bad right now, he's not gonna have to know," He says, against my neck, "You like this, don't you?"

I groan, "Yes, of course I do, I want you so bad... but I wanna be good for sir..."

"Just don't touch yourself, sweetheart. That's what he said, right? Don't touch yourselves? I'm sure that means I can touch you."

I ponder it for a little bit. Eventually, I nod, biting my lip. I'm still unsure if this is going against sir's wishes, but feeling my puppy boyfriend rutting against me, lips on my neck... It just feels too good after a whole morning of teasing and denial.

Puppy leans up and whispers in my ear, "Good boy." I shiver, hairs standing on end.

I let him manhandle me roughly into the position he wants, which turns out to be frotting our tdicks together. I'm laying on the floor, pinned, whimpering, feeling a little guilty at technically disobeying, but mostly lost in the pleasure.

My puppy looks down at me and says, "Don't cum, either, bunny. You have to wait til sir gets back for that one, definitely."

I nod, breathless. Then I open my eyes and look at him questioningly, "What about you?"

He smirks and rakes his claws down the center of my chest, leaving four pretty red scratches. I moan, and he says, "I can take whatever he's gonna dish. Don't you worry your pretty little head- After all, who's making the rules right now?"

I whimper, "Y-You, sir."

"Good boy."

We stay like that, him roughly grinding into me as I whine and moan beneath him. Eventually, though, the door opens, and I gasp and try to squirm out of my puppy's grip. We weren't supposed to still be playing when he got back. But puppy isn't relenting, he's still rocking his hips sharply against me.

"What do we have here?" Our dom says, a little amused. He surely would have guessed this would happen.

Puppy grunts as he continues grinding on me, "Welcome back, sir." I look at him and he's looking him dead in the eyes, smirking.

"Oh, puppy. Just couldn't wait, could you?" Sir sets down the grocery bags on a table, and walks over and picks pup off me with ease.

I start scrambling to sit up, but my dom presses his boot to my chest and gently lays me back down. "Still, bun, stay here. Let me deal with our boy and then I'll be back for you, okay?" I nod, looking up at him with soft eyes. "There's a good boy."

For a little while, behind me, I hear struggling, teasing, and soft moans. Then, my dom comes back over to me and lifts me up into his arms, walking us over to his armchair. This is when I see that our puppy is tied up spread open on the couch, gagged, but noticeably drippy and empty. Sir sits me down in his chair on his lap, facing puppy.

"Spread your legs, bunny," He murmurs into my ear. I do as he asks immediately, earning a quiet, "Good boy..." In response.

I turn my head to look at him and start saying, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to disobey, I-"

He shushes me, petting my hair, "Oh, bunny, that's not your fault. I know you need touched, puppy just decided that it was his responsibility to do so. Isn't that right, pup?"

Puppy says something in snarky defiance, surely, muffled against his gag. "Exactly. I know you're my good boy, bun. That's why I'm gonna overstimulate you on my lap right now while your pup watches and can't do anything about it." My eyes widen, starry. I see that sir is smirking at puppy. Our pup squirms and growls against his bonds.

I lean back against our dom's chest, also looking at puppy as I begin to have my tdick touched, softly at first. Then, he applies pressure, making me moan quietly. Teasingly, he uses his fingers to spread my bunnycunt open on display at pup.

"Doesn't he look so pretty like this, puppy?" At this point, our pup is ravenously trying to get out of his bonds, but he's tied up too tightly. Sir adopts a fake pity tone as he says, "Aw, I know, puppy. You just wanna use him so bad, don't you?"

Sir plunges a finger inside me and curls it, making me gasp and moan loudly, "That's it, good bunny. Let every sound out, I want him to hear how good I make you feel."

I do as he asks, making obscene sounds as his fingers fuck in and out of me, thumb circling my tdick. He growls gently in my ear, "You need to tell me when you're close, okay, bunny?"

"I- um- I'm close sir, so close for you, sir," I babble, already feeling so overwhelmed with sensation.

"Cum for us, bunny. Cum all over my fingers." I clench down and shudder, crying out and cumming all over his hand. He doesnt take his fingers out, but he gives me a little bit of time to breathe before he starts fucking me again.

Eventually, I cum the same way again. Then a third, and a fourth time, stacking them back to back against each other. After I've cum five times, I'm absolutely spent. He takes his fingers out, cleans them off, and pets my hair and shoulders, letting me slump against him bonelessly.

Our puppy has given up on getting out of his restraints, but he's whining softly, looking at us with big eyes. Sir motions for me to kneel down on the floor, and I do so, a little slumped.

He walks over to puppy and plays with his dripping hole as he says, "Good boy, good puppy. You took that so well, I know that was difficult. Are you ready for your reward?" Puppy nods, frantically. "Come here, bunny, kneel in front of him."

I happily crawl over, kneeling in front of my pup, smiling softly at him. Sir takes his gag out and says, "Tell him what you want, pup. Nicely, if you would, our boy is a little overwhelmed as you might imagine."

"Pl... Please suck my tdick, bunny."

I oblige, glad to have him down my throat. He throws his head back and moans as I start to flick my tongue. Sir teases his nipples for a while, watching me service him. "Such good boys, both of you. You're both so good for me, I'm so proud of you, so proud to be your owner."

Eventually, sir takes my head and starts fucking my mouth on puppy's dick. Puppy moans louder than ever, babbling about how good it feels, thanking us both. Sir fucks my throat on it harder, growling, "That's it. Take it, take it, both of you."

I moan into his tdick, sending loud vibrations straight through him. Puppy jerks his hips up in time with my mouth bobbing on him, crying out, "Sir, I'm gonna cum!"

"Cum for me, puppy, cum down his throat," I can hear sir whisper in his ear. Pup cums explosively down my throat, covering my face in it.

Sir gently pulls my head off, as I stare off in a subspace daze. Puppy is panting, as our dom makes quick work of untying him, "Good boys. You're both so good for me, took that all so well."

He lies puppy back on the couch against him, and motions for me to lay on him as well. I jump up, eager to get snuggled after all that intense play, and he chuckles sweetly at me. Sir pets my hair when I get nestled into his embrace, "Good boy, there you go. Much better, love having both my sweet boys in my arms."

Puppy leans up to kiss me gently on the forehead. They both keep praising me and each other, and I deliver slurred praise back where I can, eventually drifting off peacefully in their safe embrace.

#☀️overstim #☀️bunny #dom thoughts in this post brought to you by 💡- subby stuff is me rhfnbdmsbdkjd #☀️pubby #☀️mine #☀️bound #☀️displayed #☀️group #sorry for how fuckimg LONG this got holy shit #anyways this has been my number 1 fantasy for SO LONG.... it's insane how long this has been in my brain #(and um. likewise how often the system plays with this concept for ourselves. esp with me ⚡️ & 💡)

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calicos-stimboards · 2 months

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what is that..... its the unknown!

🎭 🕷️ 🕷️ / 🪞 ❓ 🪞 / 🕷️ 🕷️ 🎭

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canon-gabriel-quotes · 2 months

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Transcript -

Gabriel : *heavy breathing and grunting* Bastard.

Useless bucket of bolts. Yeah, you better run!

Load back to your- Ah shit, that was hard. Load back to your little checkpoint.

Yeah, go ahead. Go P rank the other levels.

Oh… I’m sorry. Can-can-can I? Excuse me, can I help you?

Columbo : Oh, uh, hi there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Uh, I’m looking for somebody.

Uh, Gabriel is it? Is that you? Is that who I’m lookin for?

Listen, I just gotta say, you did an amazing job uh… Fighting off that uh.

What’d ya-what’d ya call it?

Uh, you called it a…

Gabriel : A mere object?

Columbo : That’s right. A mere object.

Phenomenal work.

I gotta tell ya. Robots, I don’t trust em myself.

Ya know, I had-I had this one episode where uh, there was this robot named Rob and uh-

Gabriel : Uh, yes.

That’s very fascinating, but could you perhaps get on with your introduction?

Columbo : Uh, certainly. So I’m, uh, I’m lieutenant Columbo. Uh, I’m with the LAPD. Uh, I'm in the homicide department.

Gabriel : Homicide? You can’t kill a machine.

Columbo : No no no! Of course not. But um… Well… Ya can certainly love one.

Gabriel : D-d-d-detective I- I don’t- I don’t know what you’re implying there with that statement!

As you can tell I… Despise machines and wouldn’t think about doing so- Loving them, I mean.

Columbo : Yes, of course uh. Absolutely, it’s completely unthinkable.

Except, well. While I was- while I was over here and I opened this door and uh fourteen- fourteen V1 body pillows fell out. Along with a buncha the plushies.

Uh, and I just can’t imagine how ya- how ya happened upon something like that by accident.

It’s a little ridiculous! Uh, frankly.

Gabriel : Uh, no no no, listen.

Detective. I can explain, okay?

Those belong to- uh! That guy over there!

*Filth-like scream*

Gabriel : Yeah! A real freak!

Some kinda pervert. I don’t know why we keep him around.

But uh, I-I have nothing to do with it.

Columbo : Well, ya see, I would believe- I would believe that, but uh.

It’s just that- Well we had the boys at the lab run these pillows and we found your cum- We found your DNA all over em, uh.

You’re-You’re under arrest, I’m killing you.

Gabriel : K-hah. Kill me? *laughs*

Oh detective.

Columbo : Oh. Aw fuck.

Gabriel : I’m afraid you’ve made a grave mistake.

Because, in fact… What is going to happen instead…

Is actually what I’m gonna- AHHHG MOTHERFUCKER

I’LL FUCKIN KILL YOU

SON OF A BITCH

AHHG YOU BASTARD

I’LL RIP YOU APART

PIECE OF SHIT

YOU FUCK

ASSHOLE

BITCH

*Grunting*

Oh Shit.

Oh. What have I done?

V1 : Bro, tell me you didn’t just kill a fucking cop.

Gabriel : The law will be here any second now…

Machine, flush the drugs.

V1 : No way, bro. Let’s smoke that.

Gabriel : All of it?!?

Hm… One last ride…

Well, alright.

*coughing his lungs out*

V1 : No Gabriel, holding it in doesn’t do anything!

*Gabriel continues to cough his lungs out*

End of transcription

Audio source part 1

Audio source part 2

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #alt title was: columbo interrupted their RP session #gabes reaction to someone getting in between him and v1 (or at least pillows of it) is to rip them to shreds. yeah i mean that checks out!!#the way he says 'Some kinda pervert' is so funny to me i cant stop replaying it #this took me. so long. oh my god. no post tomorrow. im not strong enough.#sanest bit of 2024 #and probably the longest bit ever. holy shit.#also he used the wrong filter for columbo here but here is my totally Canon Explanation #If they are in hell he had to become a husk.. duh.

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bixels · 2 months

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Splatoon 3: Side Order is good, but not great. I still highly recommend it, but if you care about the story, you're going to be disappointed. Quick review: spoilers ahead.

Side Order was the devs experimenting with Splatoon's gameplay loop. The campaign is a rogue-like, and it works amazingly well. Super fun, super challenging, building my deck and fighting through challenges with the stakes of resetting really scratched an itch in my brain. They did a great job with it.

Unfortunately, I feel like priority went to game design rather than story. Much of the mysterious artwork we saw in the first teaser trailer was completely unused; turns out, all of that was just concept art that never made it into the final product. Side Order failed to make me care about what was happening. I don't know why the protagonist had to be Agent 8; it could've been anyone else and the story would've worked the same.

Octo Expansion was the absolute peak of meshing story and gameplay. The campaign's hook is insanely strong; we immediately empathize with Agent 8 because we know from previous lore that octolings like her have been trapped underground for all their lives. We care about her fight to the surface because it's a fundamentally ideological fight for freedom. The plot stuff about Tartar and the Thangs is just nice set dressing; 8's fight for freedom is the real story.

There's none of that in Side Order. I don't particularly care about Marina's metaverse, even if it's tied to Octo Expansion's story. I don't know why Acht is there other than backstory stuff. It really feels like 8 is just told to do something and she does it because she's the protagonist; she has zero personal stakes or motivations in the conflict. This is a story blunder the devs did in Splatoon 3's default campaign––forgetting to give the protagonist a personal reason to fight––that I hoped would be fixed here, but alas.

What makes it worse is that the gameplay and story progression are completely out of sync. I beat the entire game on my third run in 4 hours. With each run, you get up to two keys to potentially unlock bits of story. That means you'll get about one piece of the story every two runs. There are twelve pieces of the story; I got the first and then beat the whole damn game. Now I have to go back and grind to see the remaining story when I've already beaten the final boss and resolved the conflict. I missed the entire story because I never had to reset because I blazed through the gameplay! It's just a real shame that I experienced everything without knowing... why it's happening. The final boss had me asking myself what the hell is going on because I don't know the backstory at all.

Again, I still really recommend. The devs did a great job, but Side Order remains in the shadow of Octo Expansion's incredible success. Like the default singleplayer campaign, there's just a lot of lost story potential here that, while not necessary, would have really elevated this DLC into something amazing.

#long #personal #rant #splatoon #side order #it's a shame too because I got SO FUCKING HYPED at the title drop #when I realized that the entire first 30 minutes of the game was JUST THE OPENING TUTORIAL and they hit you with the music #and the “nintendo presents” and the title drop to a slow mo explosion. I thought “holy shit this is gonna be huge”#alas it wasn't because it turns out i'm better at roguelikes than the devs anticipated so i beat it in 3 hours lol #octo expansion was a cultural reset. it did something to my brain. the entire rising action part of the story; the reveals the twists the #boss fights the upward climb. it was so incredibly hype and just upped the stakes over and over. nothing's come close

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cowardlylittlebranchman · 2 months

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obligatory hanged man Brian art

#click for better quality #id in alt #holy shit this took me so long dude #im glad i could finally get it done #drumbot brian #the mechs #the mechanisms #high noon over camelot #hnoc #galahad hnoc #gawain hnoc #arthur hnoc #my art

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glassphinix · 1 year

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nemonas character arc

#pokemon #pkmn scarvi #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scvi #pkmn nemona #i kinda love how over the top and vaguely stalkerish nemona is bngfigdfubgawdsfrg #yknow how leon was like if a player beat the game and then put it down for so long their character turned into an npc final boss #nemona is like if a seasoned player breezed through the entire game and then a new npc came along who actually tried #and the seasoned player was like HOLY SHIT FINALLY A CHALLENGE #does this make sense. does anyone get where im coming from. idk man its nearly 1 am #internal monologue

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chemiicalbride · 4 months

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toby kissing a statue

#nat broke up with him #creepypasta #art #creepypasta fandom #my art #creepypasta art #ticci toby #toby rogers #holy shit it’s been so long since i’ve drawn toby

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themostfuniveverhad · 7 months

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danandphilgames is back

#daniel howell #amazingphil #dan and phil #danandphilgames #mine #holy shit using these tags again #welcome to gabriela hasn't made gifs in so long she doesn't really know how to do it anymore #WE'RE BACK

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boltlightning · 1 year

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the blade is folded steel. that’s gold filigree laid into the handle. if i may — perfectly balanced. the tang is nearly the full width of the blade.

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sanjisboyfie · 6 months

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-> started more like a crackfic headcanon, but then it got rlly serious at the end??? mb igggg

gojo's definitely the type to slap your ass in public. not even in a nasty way, genuinely (or more like 50% of the time it's not in a sexual way). he just likes slapping your ass??? you've tried asking him why he does it so often, but he just grins and shrugs his shoulders in response. it's always a flirty response, like, "i can't appreciate my beautiful boy's ass?" or, "y'know i can't keep my hands off of you, handsome,"

he's such a fucking annoying boyfriend. like genuinely. could you imagine having a 6'4, lanky man latched to you - literally trying to melt into your skin? no, because you don't have to imagine it, it's your everyday life. you wake up? his arms and legs are tangled with yours that you have no choice but to wake him up. you're cooking? he's hovering behind you with his back hunched and head resting on your neck as he is still working on completely waking up. you need to go to catch your train for your job? oh...but can't you just spend the day in with him? he'll do whatever you want >:) just skip work and stay with him!

he's so needy and clingy. it's actually insane how much a grown man can WHINE. oh my god, you think about doing anything without him - ANYTHING - and he's already complaining overdramatically that you don't love him. he goes from 0-to-100 really quick, meaning you guys could be cuddling and he's nearly knocked out, you gently move him off of you to get up to PEE, and he's suddenly reciting all of the heartbreaking lines shakespeare wrote, claiming, "you!! you heartless man, have driven a stake right through my heart and i shall never recover from such a pain you've brought onto me!!!" as if you're not going to be back in like thirty seconds ??? max.

he's the strongest sorcerer, but if you're around, he's nothing but a man in love with his boyfriend (and hopefully more. he fantasizes a lot of what a married life with you would look like...).

he actually could care less about other people when you're there - you have to verbally remind him of his duties as a jujutsu sorcerer or else he will very easily ignore them in exchange of spending time with you.

another thing that comes with dating this man is that he will do everything, above and beyond, in his power to keep you out of harm's way. let's say you weren't a jujutsu sorcerer, he'll let you in his lifestyle in full confidence nothing will harm you. he's already talked to the higher ups, if they try pulling some bullshit out of their ass in putting you in danger, he's gonna actually slaughter all of them. it was a meeting he had with them when you two just made it official and, comically enough, he was snapped out of his gruesome, detailed rant on what he would do to them by a call from you ringing through his phone.

you have him completely wrapped around your finger and he's not one to shy away from showing that. he thinks public acts of devotion are the best ways to show his loyalty and love for you to other people. it's so hilarious how he will literally fall to his knees begging on a random street, just for you to look at him. just because you're looking at what a vendor's stall is selling doesn't mean you have to look away from him???? hello ??? please be more considerate of his feelings, his heart cannot take this much.

and despite how carefree he always seems with you in public, if you are still in a public area, his senses are actually hightened to their peak. there's absolutely no way he's taking a chance with you getting harmed if he's there, he'll ensure you're safety above anything else. he protects you with his life and will happily exchange his life for your own - if it ever came down to that.

and he's proclaimed that to you several times which has earned him worried scoldings everytime he said anything along the lines of, "i'll risk my life to protect you," but he always pushes your scoldings aside. because then he comforts you saying that: he's the strongest for a reason and he will use all of his strength in protecting the future the two of you will have together. he can't live without you, so obviously you're staying safe. and he'd actually rather step on a thousand legos than imagine you living your life without him. selfishly, he wants to be the center of your universe, like you are for him (alright, eren jaeger headass...)

neither of you have to worry about that though! he is still the strongest ever, there's nothing that could pull him away from you (there was one time his students genuinely tried doing this and it was impossible. physically trying to pull gojo off of your body was impossible). and he wants to spend every waking moment with you. so not only are you being protected 25/8, but you're being affectionately doted on, loved, and cared for for each of those passing seconds.

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qcomicsy · 8 months

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Nicola Yoon The Sun is Also a Star / Batman #650 / Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) dir. Brandon Vietti / And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will by Amatullah Bourdon / Vulnerability - A.j. / Batman #650

#this took so fucking long holy shit #but I'm satisfied with the result #Jason Todd #Batman #Red Hood #Batman: Under the Red Hood #web weaving #webweaving #poems #quotes #q goes insane in the notes #🦇🦇🐦🐦

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ladylightning · 8 months

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supernatural s2 is SO GOOD because every decision has more weight because the after life is still unknown to us. we know there is something after death but we don't know quite what that is. the season starts with tessa the reaper begging dean to come with her. to where? she cannot say. when john dies it’s devastating to the brothers that he’s no longer here but elsewhere. but it’s even more devastating as they come to the slow realization that elsewhere is probably hell, whatever that looks like. sam and dean don't know anything more than the audience does about hell.

there is an effort to exorcise the possessed and save them instead of letting them die because there is no promise of heaven to be made. the ghost in roadkill wants to know what happens when she crosses over and sam and dean just don’t know. where do the monsters go when they die? are there angels? is there a god? sam and dean don’t know. sam more than anything wants to believe. and secretly dean does too. but they just don’t know.

when sam dies where does he go? dean doesn’t know. we never get to see it. and more than that. does dean truly believe that he would be sent to the same hereafter as his brother after everything he has done? all dean knows is that there is a way to damn your eternal soul to hell and there is a way to bring his brother back from the unknown and he will choose that path without hesitation over and over and over again.

the second the angels are introduced we lose that sense of unknown. while the stakes are higher in seasons 4-5 the second we can see behind the curtain it’s over. yes you can damn the world and start the apocalypse but at least you KNOW. you know there is an afterlife. a heaven. a hell. a hereafter. and all the people who die will end up will end up where they belong so how guilty can you feel using a demon knife to kill an innocent? how wrong is it to drain the host for blood? they’ll end up in heaven after all. no more pain. and that is how only the winchester family drama becomes important to the brothers, because they KNOW the end is not the end. there’s more than just ghosts and demons and reapers. there is a heaven. and if there is a heaven every wrong bad thing in the narrative can be brushed away by the characters or the audience as “well at least they are at peace in heaven now.” they do this to jimmy novak and ash and pamela and lord knows who else.

season 2 sam and dean don’t have this opt out. every choice they make is so much heavier because they just. don’t. know.

#long post sorry #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #spn season 2 #supernatural season 2 #for the record I LOVE Castiel and the angels add a lot to plot #but undeniably it forever changes the show on a molecular level #sometimes good sometimes bad #but season 2 is one of my all time favorites #so many back to back banger episodes #great dean moments dealing with john dying and sams psychic stuff #GREAT sam moment holy shit an amazing sam season so many gems #also a ton of stupid little dean outfits this season

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forevermore-quoth-the-kitten · 2 years

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Exhausted MC Who Just Wants to Sleep

After finals, MC is stupid exhausted since little of the material they've learned is stuff you go over in the human realm and cramming was the only way they'd get a decent grade on their finals. But it's over now and they need sleep! MC just KNOWS someone's going to end up in their room at some point and wake them up, so whose bed do they flop into instead?

Lucifer

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm giong to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you turn towards Lucifer's bedroom, no one ever bothers him or causes a scene in his room, garunteeing you silence for easy sleep.

Lucifer wants to tell you off, but the threat is real. even if you didn't look so dead tired he could tell by your tone you very well meant it.

Lucifer wonders for a moment if he should get you to eat and drink something, but he's seen your progressively worsening dark circles and hes positive that you won't stay awake long enough to get much down, so he resolves to bring you a treat and set it in your room later for you to awaken to.

its a few hours later when all of his own work is done. finals are over and with the last bit of work done, break had started.

Lucifer walks into his room to put the work down and out of the way for the time being, but freezes in his doorway.

you're laid on his bed, face down, one shoe off, the other half off, your bag dropped on the floor a few feet from his bed, and soft muffled snoring reaches his ear.

once Lucifer gets over his surprise, he smirks, but gently closes the door and keeps his eyes on you as he puts his work down before moving closer to you.

you're not even all the way on his bed, your legs are hanging off the side and your school uniform doesn't seem to be undone at all.

well aware that won't be comfortable, Lucifer carefully untucks and opens the other side of his blankets and sheet before tapping your forehead, placing a sleeping spell on you to keep you from waking so he can take your overcoat and sheos off, at the least, before placing you in his bed and tucking you in.

its takes you 12 hours to wake up, and he watches from a chair as you stumble to the bathroom, pausing at the sight of him for a moment with bleary eyes, before you drop back into his bed and are back asleep right away.

the next time you wake up Lucifer isn't there, but he's left you some danishes and a bottle of water. your'e still in his bed when he returns and by then its night again, so he crawls into bed with you and pulls you close as you both sleep.

Mammon

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with what's left of your brain power, you keep going and head to Mammon's room. no one ever goes to Mammon's room, so it's probably the place you'll get the best sleep.

Mammon is terrified at the threat and goes stiff, watching as you stumble away. for once he thinks about it before opening your door when he gets annoyed about something and wants to spend time with you. and after thinking about it, his hand on your door handle, he decides to just not and stalks off to his own room, pouting the whole way.

when he gets to his room he walks right past his bed to the couch, flops on it, and the remote is in his hand before he registers the body in his bed.

he jolts up and looks over the couch at you, curled up in his bed and fast asleep, soft snoring coming from you.

cue Mammon going bright red, and just staring at you for a minute before he scrambles up and goes over to look at you as closely as he dares. you're on your side across his bed, looking so peaceful and it's just too damn cute! his heart can't take it!

Mammon wants to actually get you in his bed, but he's scared to move you and wake you up (he absolutely does NOT want to have to eat Solomon's cooking, no thank you), so instead he snags a few blankets and covers you with two of them before settling down on his couch to play on his phone and keep an eye on you. maybe he should order some food for you to eat when you wake up?

when do you inevitably wake up, Mammon shoots up from his couch and watches you, staying oddly quiet and silently offering you a half melted smoothie and a burrito. you stop and snag both from him, sitting on the couch with him and watching tv but not paying attention to it. once your food is gone you flop over onto his shoulder, asleep within a minute again after it.

Mammon's gone completely stiff and has no idea what to do, but he wraps one arm around you and eventually texts Asmo for help once his face is no longer related to a tomato. his brother helps him move you both so you're laying down with your head on Mammon's chest. Asmo takes so many pictures that go on his Devilgram and the cuteness of post finals snuggles goes viral.

Leviathan

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm going to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, I will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you double back and easily slip into Leviathan's room, dropping into his bathtub bed. It's dark, quiet, his fish tank is just really soothing, and Levi never lets his brothers in his room, he has protection on his door to keep them out for that reason. It's perfect.

Levi gulps at your dead zombie expression and absolutely terrifying threat if you're woken up and mentally swears he won't even go near your room until you come out to make sure he doesn't get caught up in the doling of the punishment if something happens. and obviously the best way to avoid you is to go to his room.

that turns out to be a FUCKING BUST because he walks in to find your foot hooked over the side of his bed and he Cant Avoid You if youre IN HIS BED!!

oh shit oh shit he's seen this in his anime and manga but what the hell is he supposed to do when it's real life?! Levi's panicking but he hears his brother's voices and before he can think it through, quickly closes his door to avoid them seeing him or seeing you in his room. he should- yeah, you're trying to sleep and if you'd come to his room, that means you think his room is the best place to sleep, so he needs to make sure it stays that way!

Levi's a man on a mission until he stops to realize what this means and once again panics, bright red, until he decides he needs to just focus and move around. it takes him half an hour to carefully edge close enough to remove your shoes and then he tries to grab your leg to tuck it into his bed, but you move when he's barely touched you.

Levi jolts back, heat beating fast and absolutely not moving or even breathing until you've curled into his bed and he's positive you're asleep again. thank fucking diavolo, that was clsoe! (it wasn't, you were dead to the world, but Levi was positive you'd been awake for a minute when he touched you).

with that over Levi lays a blanket over you and wonders what to do, he cna tgame becuase he gets heated and yells and he can't watch most of his anime's becuase he gets emotional and yells.

in the end he decides to open Mononoke Land on his handheld system since its a chill game and he won't have to worry about waking you up playing it.

when you wake up he goes as still a stone, waking up from where he's sleeping in his bean bag when you walk past him, until you stumble back out of his bathroom and flop bakc into his bed, gasping for breath when he hears you're asleep again. after that Levi deicded to have food and water out for you when you wake up. but his stuuf he hoards in his room you probably shouldn't eat yet, you should have something better for you?

He ends up texting Beel and then Lcuifer, questioning what he should have for you. Beel's suggestion is to have a lot of options for you to choose from, but Levi knows when he finally gets sleep after not getting much at all that he really doesn't want to have to pick from a bunch of stuff. thankfully Lucifer knows the answer better so he gets some cheese fries and sticks them in his mini fridge with some elextrolyte water to give you when you get up again.

when you do he reheats it and stumbles over his words, but you take the food and settle down next to him to watch anime. Levi is not paying attention to it, you're sitting too close for that. but then you're done eating and you've had your full of water and hhoooOOOLLYY SSHHIITTT you're asleep on his shoulder!!

Panic! doesn't move and just blankly stares at his tv for the next few hours, not daring to do anything that might wake you up.

Satan

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you turn away from your room and you barely have the energy to avoid Satan's books on the floor, but thankfully his bed is empty. the avatar of wrath is considerate and while normally you'd worry he'd cause a scene in a fit of anger, Satan would never with you and his brothers don't often venture towards his room if they're mad becuase it makes him mad, so it's pretty chill there.

Satan is amused at your threat, knowing he won't be the one to wake you up, but is concerned at how you look. he's seen how much you've been studying and hes proud all your study sessions seem to have gone well, but Satan decides he should do some research to see what else he can do to help you out when you wake up from the ordeal.

he doesn't expect to see you in his room, much less with your bag dropped among his books without care, all of your clothes still in place, not even your shoes off.

when he, relatively quickly, recovers from the surprise, Satan carefully closes his door, bright red. the fact that you're sleeping in his bed shoes that you both trust him not to wake you up but also that you feel his room is going to be the best place to sleep.

hes beyond flattered and is thankful that around you it's much easier to control his temper. Satan sets your bag aside once he's stopped smiling like a love-sick dumbass like Mammon before taking your shoes off and carefully moving you up. he shushes you when you grumble at being moved around, but he gets you down to your underwear, figuring that's how you'll sleep most comfortably, before tucking you into his perpetually unmade bed.

when you wake up teh first time its the middle of the night and SAtan's asleep too, book on his lap and slumped in his chair. you smile at him but youre quick to go back to sleep. (at this point if you're male, nothing changes. but if you're female, you take your bra off because who would wear that to bed? when Satan sees your bra on the floor when he wakes up, he bluescreens and stares at it for a good five minutes, brihgt red, until he regains his composure and sets it with the rest of your clothes.

when you wake up again you're quickly faced with a blushing Satan thrusting a long t-shirt in your face before huffing about food and water waiting for you. if you don't beat his ass for being a dick right when you've just woken up, you laugh about it and slip the shirt on before moving over so you can both sit on his bed and eat.

you fall asleep on his lap after the food and Satan takes a minute to relax after that, but once he does he find himself running his fingers through or over your hair, smiling at you happily for a bit before laying back to doze off for a bit himself.

Asmodeus

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with what's left of your brain power, you walk past it towards Asmo's room. he might be known for sneaking people into his room, but the demon is the Self Care King and if you need sleep, his bed is going to be the best option for great sleep. and even besides that, Asmo was never going to wake you up, so you're pretty sure you're safe from any annoying shenaniganery.

Asmo is horrified you would ever use Solomon's cooking as a punishment, but he has to admit that, based on his own and his brothers reactions to it, it's a very effective threat.

Asmo is very happy though, he's seen your complexion get worse and your eye bags get bigger since you've been forgoing sleep for studying and he hated it! but you ignored him every time he said otherwise, so no you're finally going to sleep, and once you wake up he's going to make sure you get the best spa day of your life!

with that though, Asmo jumps up and heads to his room to plan out what you'd do when you woke up-

oh my diavolo you're sleeping in his bed and it's so cute!!

Asmo's first reation is to snap picture after picture of you and post it to his devilgram, gushing about how you just came in to sleep after finals and he found you like this!

then, despite how much he wants to show more of you, he sets his phone aside on silent and finds himself just adiring your sleeping face for a few minutes. you've flopped face first onto his bed, face buried in his pillows, bag in the middle of his room and one shoe hanging onto your heel by a thread, the other half under his bed.

Asmo, once he's gotten his fill of watching you (for the time being), lights a candle with a sleeping potion in it and lets you breathe it in a bit to make sure you wont wake up as he strips you of your RAD uniform, slips you into some of your favorite pj's, and gets you into his bed properly for some rest.

Asmo leaves his room for a while after that, leaving to go shopping for some special things to use for your spa day when you wake up, deciding to also grab you some yummy treats and a drink on his way back. he convinces Levi to let him borrow his minifridge for your stuff and snuggles up to you that night for cuddles. he knows when you get up and uses his bathroom but opens the blankets again when you come back to let you crawl back into bed.

the next time you get up Asmo leads you to his chaise and gives you the warmed up pastries and drink, chatting quietly and gently with you, asking if you're still tired after that. you are so he gets you back to bed and chills until you're ready to be awake and take care of yourself with him.

Beelzebub

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you head farther down the hall and slip into the twins room, dropping onto Beel's bed, knowing their room is quiet and that Beel isn't going to bother you or be bothered by you sleeping on his bed. you've done it before so it's the most logical conclusion.

Beel's hurt and horrified you would ever make them eat Solomon's cooking, none of Luifer's punishments have ever been that cruel!

later, when he's gotten some food from the kitchen for a snack before dinner, he makes sure he tiptoes when he walks by your room. Beel's very proud of himself for making it past your room silently, pushing his door open and barely stopping it from slamming into the wall when it does, seeing you on his bed just in time.

why are you on his bed? is something wrong with your room and no one knows yet? Beel's very confused as he sets his food down as quietly as he can before closing the door. he doesn't want to wake you up, but Lucifer will yell at him if he eats his food outside of his bedroom. Beel eats slower than normal, taking care to be quiet, watching you the whole time until Belphie walks in and also freezes at the sight of you.

unlike Beel, Belphie grins. Beel wonders what belphie picked up on that he didn't, he knows he can be oblivious sometimes but doesn't quite understand yet why you're here instead of your room. you've slept in his bed before, obviously, but-

that's why. Belphie laughs softly at him. they've slept in your bed and know that it's quiet here, our brothers are going to bother them if they're sleeping here instead of their own room.

Beel lights up at the knowledge that you trust them, but more importantly, him. you find his bed safe and comfortable and even though Belphie's bed is right there and the avatar of sloth is the perfect person to snuggle and sleep with to get a good rest, you're in his bed.

he blushes at it and grins to himself, happy, finishing his food before he moves and carefully tugs your shoes off of you and nabs your coat so you can sleep better before heading down to dinner. Lucifer chews him out for eating the contents of the fridge right before dinner but Beel's not too bothered by it, your presence in his room sticking to the back of his mind through the meal.

when he gets back he tries to wait, since both you and belphie are asleep now, but he knows he wants to sleep in his bed, so he carefully nudges you over and crawls in behind you, pulling you into his arms so you won't roll out during the night and falls asleep, happpy at having your warmth.

and when you're awake, Beel wakes up the moment you move. its fine if you come right bakc to sleep, but if he can sense your hunger, you better believe this man is picking you up and carrying you to the kitchen, making you drink water (mostly on that half awake autopilot eveyone has) as he gets you both some food. No matter what time it is, Beel's set and ready to get the best food in the fridge he can find in you before you fall asleep again on his shoulder. it makes eating his own food hard, but Beel will manage just fine if it means you get the sleep you need.

Belphegor

As you stumble towards your room you realize that you literally have no privacy in your own and room and with whats left of your brain power, you head farther down the hall and slip into the twins room. after a moment of deliberation, you fall into Belphie's bed. not only does no one ever come into the twins room, when they do they're quiet about it. and if you're in Belphie's bed, it's pretty much guaranteed you'll have the best sleep of your life.

belphie was already asleep after being awake all day for finals, but he woke up to the sound of your voice. he only cauhgt part of it, but the message was loud and clear and a very good threat, if Lucifer doesn't use that against them he should get Satan to help him use it on Lucifer.

Belphie is back asleep once you've stopped talking, full well knowing he's not going to be the one to wake you up. that's fucking funny, the constantly sleeping avatar of sloth waking you up? its preposterous. annoying to avoid your room so it doesn't happen, but not impossible.

Belphie has his nap out in the living room until dinner, where he decides he's full when he almost falls asleep in his food and goes off to his bedroom.

only to find you in his bed.

. . . what, did you think that was going to stop him?

Belphie just smirks, knowing you knew exactly what you were doing, wanting, and asking for by doing that, before crawling into bed with you. he breathes a sleeping spell over you so he can strip those pesky clothes off of you without worrying about you stirring.

similar to Asmo, he slips some pj's on you after stripping you down to your underwear. not your favorite pair, the pair he stole from you to keep in his room for times like this, because it was bound to happen (and he was right).

when you wake up he lets you go, knowing you're barely awake and will come right back to bed. he can feel it when your body starts stirring, needing food and water, so its easy to shoot Beel a text asking him to bring you some. Beel of course brings enough for an army, aka, the three of you, and Belphie keeps you in his bed while you eat, making you drink plenty of water beofre he lets you drop back to sleep like he knew you would.

when when youre rested enough that you actually want to get up? good luck, hes got a tight grip when hes asleep and Belphie's hard to wake up, he wont want to let go awake either, so you're gonna be stuck for a while.

Bonus Round

you walk into the doorway of the living room where everyone is gathered, looking exhausted, announce "i'm going to sleep. if anyone even thinks about waking me up or doing anything that would wake me up, i will make them eat Solomon's cooking." before stalking off down the hall.

you don't go to your room, thats going to quickly backfire since demons dont understand that you like any sort of privacy and just barge in and SOMEONE is going to forget your threat and walk in or fight outside your door. so where do you go? the quietest place in the whole house.

the attic.

its two hours before anyone tries to check on you and realize your not in your room. the demons then look in their rooms and all over the house, but you're seemingly nowhere to be found.

it ends up being Belphie, who's worried but exhausted, sneaking up to the attic to take a nap that finds you there.

you think he's going to tell the others about the spot and out both your sleeping place and his favorite napping spot? lol, that's funny. Belphie just smirks, happy he knows where you are and thus you're safe, so he curls around you to sleep too.

Lucifer finds you both 30 minutes later after Belphie disappears along with you, deadpanning and annoyed to find you two asleep in the attic. but at least you were ok, and Belphie should have at least texted everyone he found you, but he can punish his brother later, when you're not snorting in his arms.

then he'll either move you to his room or leave you here with a barrier up to keep his brothers from bothering you. it'll depend on how he feels once he drags Belphie out of the attic.

Hard Round

after your announcement, you don't even stay in the house of lamentation, belatedly realizing this house is nothing but chaos and you'll never get any sleep here without getting woken up.

bitch you're not even there, so when the brothers realize you're not in your room and then can't find you, they fucking panic.

Option 1 = Lucifer calls diavolo like 'we lost mc' and explains and Diavolo is just trying not to laugh because a few hours ago you walked into his bedroom as he was finishing getting dressed, completely ignored him, and faceplanted on his bed, falling asleep right away.

(diavolo is a busy man but he has more servants and attendatns than just barbatos, so when you finally wake up instead of getting to drop back to sleep, a pair of maids or butlers (depending on your gender) is already waiting and they brush your hair and get your dressed before nudging you along to Diavolo's ffice, where you stand inside the door blinking blearily, NOT ready to be awake yet and pissed about it. he realizes the mistake and within 5 minutes youre on his couch, head on a large pillow and a blanket draped over you.)

option 2 = Asmo panic calls Barbatos for help, almost in tears because they LOST MC! hes waiting for the demon to calm down to inform him that you were fine. you'd shown up at his door looking like you were about to pass out, groaned a greeting at him, and did in fact pass out on his bed.

(even though he's generally not supposed to, Barbaots peeks into the future a bit more than usual so he knows when you'll be awake and can have fresh food and water there when you do. if you let him he'll help you dress and feed you once you're a bit more awake, but if you want to sleep more after that he'll be ready and have chores doled out so he can lay down with you for a while.)

Stupid Easy Round

after your announcement, you don't even stay in the house of lamentation, blatedly realizing this house is nothing but chaos and you'll never get any sleep here without getting woken up.

bitch you're not even there, so when the brothers realize you're not in your room and then can't find you, they fucking panic.

if you pass out in Simeon's bed his snitch ass is going to call Lucifer before he even realises you're not in the HoL to let him know you're snoring away on his bed after walking in, dropping your bag, and zonking out the second your head hit his pillow after muttering something about not waking you up.

(Simeon keeps an eye on you, but he still has things to do. he has luke bring you food and when Luke doesn't come back, he finds Luke weakling struggling in your grip to get out. Simeon's not going to take him away from you though, so despite Luke's whispered protests, Simeon only grabs the dishes and leaves him there. when he comes back Luke is cuddling you right back and is very much fast asleep. it's just too cute and he sends the picture to the group chat with everyone. its becomes Diavolo's favorite pictures (Barbatos too, he loves you and his adoptive angel son. but both of you together? perfect. Simeon feels the same way).

Hilarious as Shit Impossible Round

youre not dumb enough to leave the HoL in your condition!

but you also know actually getting sleep would be a whole ass miracle in this house

it take those idiots an hour to realize youre not in your bed and three more to look fucking everywhere for you and get a search party going.

lucifer goes down to get cerberus to try and track you, everyone thinking you somehow got kiddnapped

only to find you passed out on his dog who was happily guarding you while you slept, being more quiet and than Luccifer thought he was capable of.

many pictures are taken as Lucifer laments how embarrassing this is. It's literally his basement and despite how utterly ridiculous it is, none of them even checked it.

Several pictures are posted online. you go viral and within a day you also become a viral meme. the sheer audacity and 'dont give a fuck' energy it takes to take a nap on cerberus makes you more famous than being an exchange student ever could

and of course all of this happens before you wake up, so imagine your surprise to waking up internet famous.

well at least the memes are great, and the picture is pretty cute as well as being badass.

(the next time you go viral its also because you didnt sleep and there was an actual search party this time and Solomon is the dumbass genius bastard who thinks to check the palace catacombs and sure enough finds you asleep on Henry I)

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