#Though he does get pulled from the Team for his mental health | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

callofdudes · 8 months

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Been a while since I requested something, I shall grace this page with a request of being best friends with gaz headcanon please bestie 😊😊😊

Welcome back bestie 😊😊 I promise I'm working on all your other requests but mental health be doing backflips and I kinda feel like shit. I got some Gaz for you though.

Being best friends with Kyle "Gaz" Garrick.

Gaz is incredibly smart. If you look at his records his fighting reflex and knowledge is top chart stuff. But Gaz keeps it all very quiet. He doesn't boast about it like Soap would so when he does end up flipping heads on the enemy it's like "woah where did that guy come from-!"

Gaz uses this same skill to protect you. When you came to 141 Gaz was already settling. He had Ghost as a mentor and almost an older brother, and Soap as... Well he wasn't sure who he was supposed to be. But he had his team, and you seemed to easily click with Soap and Ghost.

Gaz wouldn't force you to be friends with him. Of course he introduced himself and you both talked occasionally but he didn't know if it was a friendship per say. And that was ok. He'd still protect you with his life any day of the week.

However you really did have intense feelings of friendship for Gaz. But you thought because of his quiet nature that he was closed off like Simon. Which in fact wasn't the case when you got him talking. He was just shyer than the others.

The first time you and Gaz really, properly hung out was on a quiet night at base, Gaz had finished his tasks and had nothing really to do. He enjoyed his time playing Dungeons and Dragons, (headcannon from @itsscromp) unfortunately he couldn't ever get the others to play. Ghost was too busy, Price wasn't fully interested, and Johnny just cared to cause chaos.

And then he noticed you were also done your work. "Well Kyle, there's no harm." And he went to ask you. And it went well. Turns out you wanted to play DND, and after playing for almost four hours together it solidified that.

And Gaz was really glad to have you as one of his few friends.

And now that you were friends you really did learn a lot more about him. Gaz would go down in a fire for you, no questions asked. Seems stupid but he specializes in VIP protection. You think he wouldn't protect you?? Think again. You're VIP to him. You all are.

Loves you a lot but is too shy to say it and think you'll get the wrong idea.

And look, you don't have skin that clear on the battlefield without having some kind of routine. This man looks after his skin like the temple his body is. (when he's not eating junk food.)

Yeah, your skin isn't cutting it for him. Sorry babes, get in the bathtub we are rinsing your hair and slapping some hydration on that forehead because Gaz knows you are gone need it to be crawling around the musty dusty desert with him.

Now, Knight is openly queer, so you know Gaz is a little spice of life as well. He keeps it under wraps and isn't as open about it in his career because he doesn't think you guys need to know and or he's met people in past expanses that didn't take so kindly to him being open about it.

He's the gay best friend, it's not overbearing. You know how most gay men are just different in a fun way. That's Gaz but he has it toned down so at first you couldn't tell and then it just clicked and you were like "woah". But you can kinda tell there just, there a something there you thinks.

You gotta keep him out of trouble to. You have to be his discernment. He's got relationship smarts but if he's even remotely cute and no good, time for bestie to step in. Sorry Gaz, not today. Your bestie is not letting you get yourself into that mess.

His gun does most of the talking and he carries a side arm so if anyone gives you smoke their gonna get got.

He's smart but also the silent, immediately jumps to using his gun conclusion guy. So if someone bullies you in the grocery store he pulls out his gun and you've gotta be like "Woah woah, not necessary mate, nooot necessary 😅😅"

Hates trash reality TV but watches it anyway. Drags you into the torture as well.

He spills the tea. He spills it always. He sometimes just walks around quietly not taking up too much air and hearing conversations and by the end of it he's got so much to tell you.

Not quite sure what I think Gaz's childhood looked like but I assume he didn't have too many friends. I could see him as the shy kid who focused more on academics and played in the trees of his backyard alone over having a boat load of friends.

So when you do things like buy him stuff or give him cuddles and affection he has this epiphany. Like this is what I've been missing!

Your comfort and affection is something he truly loves so much, but the house and traditions he grew up with weren't the most overly affectionate, and in his career there wasn't much cuddling with the homies in his unit either.

Yeah you give him cuddles he's like a leach, he'll leave when he wants to leave and only when. And he likes to sometimes cling on by surprise. When he becomes so comfortable around you he'll often waltz into your office and wrap his arms around your neck from behind, watching what you're doing.

"You done yet??"

"I'll tell you when I'm done ok?"

"Ok...... Y/n??"

"Not all of us are as fast as you at paperwork y'know"

"Sorry."

You take Gaz and Soap on adventures together and you still can't wrap your head around hos they're friends. Completely chaotic, loud and chipper faced with slightly annoyed at the loudness, just as chaotic on the inside and together you get one big Gaz Soap salad. Sticking them in a car for five hours together was a mistake for your sake.

Gaz doesn't open up about his feelings a lot, but look at you 😄 look at you helping him to open up and ask for help. To ask for the care that he needs when things get tough for him.

He was alone before that terrorist attack where he met Price and that was s very scary time for him. Looking back on it from his place in 141 Gaz was much more scared on the field then than he is now. Probably because he's got a team he knows he'll always be able to trust and confide in.

That's the best part of having you as a friend. He can confide in you with anything. And knowing him, you can also confide in him. Whatever secrets you tell him are lock and key baby. He won't tell a single soul.

Gaz tried to do all the things you've done for him, for you. When you need someone to give you a hug or some cuddles Gaz will do his best to comfort you and show you that same infectious love and care.

Whenever you have a nightmare he's right there for you. Wrapping his arms around you to keep you steady, holding you up when you can't.

He'll always try.

Celebrates your accomplishments as well. When you get promoted or a medal, hell when you do everything he's on your sideline cheering. And it's like his shyness is gone when he sees his friends receiving praise for something. He'll cheer louder than everyone in the room for you all.

But the one thing your friendship isn't above is England. If you diss on England, or their football, prepare to get got. Tickle attacks or hitting you with a pillow as punishment.

At the end of the day three of your friends are British and one of them is Scottish which starts petty squabbles between Gaz and Soap sometimes. It's all playful but sometimes Soap wants to start some shit and you end up having to try and separate them before they wrestle each other to death.

And there is probably so much more I'm missing, but remember. Whenever you need someone to watch your six, Gaz is already there. Whenever you need someone you can spend some quiet time with when things get overwhelming, you know where to find Gaz. And when life gives you bullshit. Gaz has a Glock.

#call of duty #call of duty headcanons #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #platonic x reader #kyle gaz garrick headcanons #kyle garrick #gaz cod #gaz mw2 #x reader

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toorusluvr · 4 months

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❥ ҉ CHAPTER SIX - WHAT ABOUT US?

❥ ҉ NOTE FROM NIS: hello hello! an update after more than a year geez i'm so sorry. life got in the way! anyway, i decided to finish this fic before this year ends (time is ticking for me lol at least it's an accomplishment!!) this chapter carries mental health issues and toxic relationships. wow semi is being a dickhead in this chapter (spoiler alert) he reminds me so much of my ex LOL anyway i hope you enjoy reading this update! as usual, reblogs, likes, and comments are very very much appreciated!!

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The cafe used to be your dating place with Semi felt empty even though there were customers inside. You were waiting for Semi, and surprisingly, Semi was 30 minutes late than the promised time. But, it was not surprising given the condition both of you were living in. You glanced over your watch countless times, breathing out a soft groan as you kept on looking over your phone as time passed by.

Another 20 minutes passed when he finally showed up. He made you wait for an hour! If that isn’t infuriating enough other than the fact that he also cheated behind your back. What a douchebag. But fuck is it easy to let him go. It’s not as easy as it may appear to others. Hands to God, you have tried. But each try ends in failure.

The man, Semi, was seen wearing his backpack over his shoulder, still neatly dressed in his school uniform though his tie was loose. The guy kept both of his hands inside of his pockets and he appeared relaxed while you were looking like you could explode any sooner. Sucker. He spotted you nearby the glass window with a frown look. His steps felt heavy with each drag, but he needed to see you one last time. He promised, this is the last time he'll hurt you.

Semi recognised that look you had on your face. You were upset with him, extremely disappointed was all over your face. And, you had every right to be upset with him. He loathes himself too, sometimes.

“We need to talk, Semi”, you mumbled softly, not wanting to start a fight with your boyfriend. You do not want to act like a crazy girlfriend, but yesterday’s incident was too much as it never happened before. Your eyes trailed his movements when he pulled out the chair in front of you. Semi took his seat and rested both of his hands on the table.

When things got worse between you and Semi, neither of you had ever cheated on one another.

“What is it?” Semi asked half-heartedly. His tone showed concern for your question.

You let out a soft sigh, not knowing where to begin. “Who were you with yesterday?” you asked with a slightly stern voice. His answer is what you needed the most. There's no way he would lie to you, right? He would convince you that it is not him, right? Right?

Fuck. How you wished that wasn’t him but it was as clear as day. Your stupid heart wouldn’t want to accept any other answer.

The last word came across as pleading in your mind. Heaven knew how pathetic you sounded at the moment when the truth was as clear as day.

Please, he would not lie to me... you prayed.

His action yesterday resulted in you overthinking last night if this relationship was worth risking yourself and your sanity, which was on the edge to begin with. Getting back together with him has always been a mistake. Who else could you blame other than yourself? You’re the one who puts yourself in this position.

“I was with my team, as usual. Why?” Semi replied, with no remorse. A liar, he calls himself. How many times does he have to keep lying to you? No. The real question is, what is holding him back from letting you go? Is it the fact that he can't stand seeing you with another person, or he just wanted to keep you for himself even though he has fallen out of love?

You scoffed, “You lied, Semi. Some girl sent me a snap of you guys being together. I don’t even know what you guys were doing, but why were you guys shirtless? I swear to God, Semi, if you slept with the girl, I don’t even know what I’ll do.”

Semi’s eyes widened at the statement. So you knew the truth already. Fuck that. He was just playing dumb. He knew you already knew. The girl showed the snap she sent to you with a proud smile all over her face and Semi couldn’t stop her.

He didn’t hesitate to stop her so he just let it be. Anything to prevent him from saying he wanted to break up with you.

“She’s just a friend, you know?” Semi paused before he spoke again. A friend? That's what pathetic liars tell their significant other every single time they are caught cheating.

“So it’s true that you did something that friends wouldn’t do?” you emphasised the term 'friend' he clearly misused. You felt your blood boiling when you spotted the lies hidden in his eyes.

He looked away from your face, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I guess.”

“Why in the hell would you do that with her? You have a fucking girlfriend, Eita. What am I to you? For fucks sake, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked. Your voice was slightly trembling as you could feel your tears threatening to fall on your face any moment from now on.

The rage you've bottled up for years threatened to be freed from your body. Torture. This is like a living hell if it's living in agony.

“You aren’t there with me every day, and I got… bored. I was lonely, Y/N! I need someone to be there with me physically!” Semi sighed. He stopped and stared straight into your eyes. The girl he has loved for about three years. The sweet look you have always had on your face is now gone, replaced with anger and betrayal.

It felt like he was painting you to be the bad guy in this case. Playing the victim card, huh?

You scoffed in disbelief, “What am I to you exactly, Semi? Was the reason you got back with me the other day so you could fuck me and then leave?” you snapped, trying to keep your voice low so the other customers won’t be interrupted.

Semi brought both of his hands to his face. He let out a deep sigh, “Would it hurt less if I said yes?”

“Hell yes, Semi! Oh god, I can’t fucking believe this. What has gotten into you, Semi? What drove you crazy? Fuck, I can't even believe I love you no matter what happens!” At this point, you don’t even know if you are strong enough to accept this. A part of you just wanted to storm out of the cafe, but a part of you also needed closure.

“You’re always there when I need you. That’s why I keep on coming back to you because you’re there. You’re special to me, Y/N,” Semi told. His eyes failed to convince you that he wanted you to be with him forever.

You let out a scoff, “You know too damn well that I’ll come back running to you whenever you need me. You used me, Semi. What happened to the old you? I can’t believe this. You know that I can never let you go, that’s why you used me, isn’t it? Semi, I’m not naive. It’s just that I loved you so much that I can never let you go and… and, you took it for granted!”

Your tears were beginning to fall on your cheeks. You were sobbing so hard that even a box of tissue is not enough to help you wipe your tears away. Shit, breakup hurts like hell.

Semi felt terrible, really he is. He couldn't deny that he takes you for granted. “I’m sorry.”

“Is that all you could say, Semi?” you asked with a gruff voice. You were hoping for a lot more. Maybe an 'I love you’ or ‘You’re my entire world’ would be sufficient.

“I’m so sorry," he apologised once again. You let out an unbelievable sigh as you wiped your tears. “That’s it. Once again, we’re breaking up. Maybe we’re just not meant to be. I hate the fact that I will always love you no matter how bad you treat me, Eita.”

“I’m sorry. I’m never good enough for you. I guess I will never be good enough for anyone. I hope she’s good enough for you, Semi,” you said your final words as you left the cafe without saying goodbye.

Strangers on the street looked at you with a weird look on their faces. Seeing a random teenager on the street bawling her eyes out concerned them most slightly.

Returning home, you cried yourself to sleep. Your thoughts kept you up at night, wondering if you are ever enough for someone. You wondered if someone is willing to love you unconditionally. Does love even exist in this cruel world?

You skipped school for two days because you were down in the slumps, all alone in your room. You never cheated with anyone behind Semi’s back when you guys were together. Hell, you even ditched Iwaizumi as your friend with benefits when you got back together with Semi.

You sobbed again, not knowing what to do with your life anymore. You just wanted your pain to be over. Why does everyone have it easier? Why can't you be happy just like they do?

The sound of keys jingling from outside startled you. You saw the figure of your mother standing at the door frame with a stoic face. “Y/N,” she called your name seriously. You wiped your tears and looked at her, nodding your head to answer her call.

“Why the hell did you skip school?” your mother asked, taking another step towards you. She was infuriated when your homeroom teacher gave her a call this morning and told her about you being absent for the past 2 days.

She even left her work to come home to ask you about this matter. Ever since your dad passed away, your mother barely cares or makes time about your personal life that much. All she knows is that her daughter is supposed to go to school, and she wants her to graduate high school and become a doctor.

Your mother sets a high expectation on you, and it kills you inside.

“I’m sick, can’t you see?” you replied with a sad voice. You caught a cold after meeting with Semi the other day. You sniffled back your tears, not wanting to cry in front of your raging mad mother.

“I didn’t raise you to become a liar, Y/N! Why the hell did you skip school? Tell me now!” your mother yelled. You flinched at her words, and you knew you couldn’t lie any longer. But you weren’t lying! You were sick! Anyone who sees you in this state could tell. But why the person who gave birth to you couldn't see it?

“I skipped school because I was sick, mom! Can’t you see? I was telling you the truth!” you slightly raised your voice back at her while wailing out loud.

Your mother didn’t take your wailing seriously, apparently. “Just return to school tomorrow. I don’t want any excuses.”

“Because of you, I want to fucking die,” you snapped. “You tortured me throughout my life, mom! You should have let me die back then!”

The woman who birthed and raised you had a fuming mad expression written all over her face. Her fists tightened on her sides, eyebrows scrunched together. Your mother’s back is now turned to face you. “I raised you to become a successful person. I don’t want to raise a pathetic loser. Get your shit together!” your mother raised her voice one last time as she slammed the door to your bedroom.

You threw your pillows on the floor while wailing out loud, though it will never be heard. You weren’t sure what went wrong in your life, but everything seems to become a failure every fucking minute.

The following day, you decided to return to school. With visible dark circles under your eyes, you lazily walked to your desk where Oikawa was already waiting for your presence.

“Hey, are you okay? You didn’t come to school for two days. What happened?” Oikawa's gentle voice greeted you the first thing in the morning. He sounded worried. You shrugged your shoulders, ignoring his questions for the time being.

You were quiet, not even bothering to pick a fight with Oikawa like you guys always do. Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi, asking him if he knew what’s going on with you. It turned out Iwaizumi didn't know about it either.

Iwaizumi inhaled a deep breath, lowkey suspecting that you were going through something. Probably had something to do with your boyfriend. But, he knew better than to intervene. If you ever come to him, then he’ll keep you company.

Every second passing by felt like an eternity. You kept on going to the bathroom only to break down in the cubicle. If this goes on any longer, you’d collapse for sure.

“Y/N! Let’s go to lunch!” Oikawa cheerfully said as he closed his textbook and kept it under his desk. You looked at him, “Okay.” Your short answer freaked him out a bit. That was the first thing you said to him on that day.

Oikawa didn’t realize you were walking slowly until he realized you had collapsed on the floor. The other students gasped in shock as they gathered around you to check on your condition.

The brunette gasped as he yelled for Iwaizumi’s name to ask for his help. Both of them ran to get you, who just collapsed on the floor.

“Can someone call the teacher?” Iwaizumi asked one of the students there to go and get help. Iwaizumi checked on your pulse, making sure it’s still beating. Fuck. His mind was about to explode from all the possibilities.

Oikawa rested your head in his lap. Not long after, the teacher came and brought you to the hospital as soon as possible. Iwaizumi was with you the entire ride to the hospital. He couldn’t keep himself patient. A million thoughts were running in his mind.

You heard people whispering around you the moment you opened your eyes. You looked around you and found your mother, your teacher and... Iwaizumi? It’s him, right? You weren’t mistaken. His sharp jawline and raven hair. No one else looks as gorgeous as him.

Wait. That’s not right to be thinking of it this time.

Iwaizumi glanced over at you and noticed you’re already awake. “Doctor, she’s awake!” he immediately told the doctor in front of him.

The doctor rushed to get to you and checked on your condition. “She’s awake, professor”, the doctor informed your mother. Your mother let out a relieved sigh before she approached you on the hospital bed.

“Your friend told you that you collapsed at school today. What happened?” your mother asked. Not even an ounce of worry flowed in her tone. But she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t worried when she got a call from the teacher informing her that you collapsed in school.

“I was sick. I guess,” you sarcastically replied. You kept your head hung low, not wanting to look at everyone in the eyes. Embarrassing, you thought. How weak and pathetic.

She went silent for a moment. It was entirely her fault for neglecting you yesterday. The truth is, she just didn’t know how to comfort you the way your late father had always comforted you. And she was fine with you blaming her because she’s at fault.

The silence was deafening and Iwaizumi felt awkward being in the middle of this hospital room. He glanced over at you who returned an awkward glance.

Your mother didn’t say anything but ensured that you're okay before telling you that she had a minor surgery to perform on a patient. "I have surgery in 10 minutes. I have to go now. Take care, darling. I’ll come back to you when I’m done,” your mother said as she patted your head.

Before she left, she stopped in her tracks to look at your teacher and the man beside you, Iwaizumi.

"Thank you for coming here with her. I owe you a lot," your mother thanked Iwaizumi and your teacher. Your teacher then left to take care of school matters, leaving you under Iwaizumi's supervision.

He stood there and watched you with a stoic expression. Well, it’s not like you could read him anyway. Both of you exchanged stares as silence surrounded the hospital room.

“What are you doing here? You have practice, idiot!” you blurted out in half-murmurs. It’s not like you didn’t know about this man and his volleyball practices. He can easily get scouted as a professional volleyball player with his routine. Obviously you didn’t want him to waste his time keeping you company at the hospital.

You heard a scoff from the man that had you looking at him with a furrowed eyebrow. Iwaizumi locked eyes with you.

“Even when you’re sick, you’re still acting like a brat?” Iwaizumi shot you a look with an indecipherable expression.

His words silenced you. “I’m sorry. You have practice. You should get back to school, or else you’ll miss practice. I am being a considerate person, Iwa. I know how practices are important to you.”

Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders, “Oikawa said it’s fine. He wants to visit you this evening. After he arrives, I’ll leave with him.”

You didn’t know how to respond other than asking them to not mind you. So, you gave him a slow nod, avoiding his gaze at all costs.

“Do you need anything to eat? I’ll go and buy it for you,” Iwaizumi offered. He still remembered how he reacted when the doctor said you collapsed because of dehydration and lacked nutrients. In reality, you starved yourself for the past two days and hid alone in your bed.

“Never mind. It’s useless asking you, anyway. I’ll just go buy whatever that will make you full,” Iwaizumi decided. He walked out of the door and went to the convenience store in the hospital. You didn’t get to say a word so you watched him leave.

Iwaizumi came back with food and even fruits in his hands. “I just bought whatever is left. So, eat this for now. I think the nurse will come back with a meal later. Have this for now.”

The plastic bag was then shoved into your hands but Iwaizumi took it back and placed it on the table instead. He took out the food one by one so you could take a look and choose what you wanted to eat first.

You felt like he was scolding you instead of asking you to eat. Feeling dazed, you only stared at the food in front of you.

“I know for a fact that you would hate someone to feed you, or are you actually waiting for that?” Iwaizumi clicked his tongue as he sat on the chair beside your bed.

You scoffed, “I can eat by myself, Iwa.” You proceeded to take the microwaved rice with curry and fed yourself a spoonful of rice. You chew the tasteless food, only to pour it all out not long after.

You ran to the toilet in your room and poured everything you’ve eaten just now. Iwaizumi gasped. He ran after you to ensure you’re fine. He held your hair for you while you were puking in the toilet bowl. You sat beside the toilet bowl lifelessly. Your head was aching like crazy to the point you felt like the whole world was spinning at a rapid speed.

Iwaizumi could only stare at you. “What happened to you exactly?” Iwaizumi asked with a laid-back voice. He was concerned. He was just trying to look out for a friend. Well, he definitely knew something was wrong with you the moment you skipped school after yelling at him the other day.

You chuckled tiredly. Your energy was drained, leaving you with nothing. “I guess you can predict what happened to me, right?”

Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows. What did you mean? Though his suspicions might be right. He is rarely wrong. Instead, he gave you a reply of “I am not a mind reader. Spit it out.”

You tried to get back up, but your legs gave up on you. Iwaizumi helped you to get up and brought you back to your bed. He’s still waiting for your answer.

“I broke up with Semi, and it turned out he was cheating with your ex-girlfriend. What a funny world,” you chuckled. You looked outside the high rise window next to your bed with the view of skyscrapers.

“That’s all?” Iwaizumi questioned. You nodded weakly, expecting him to lecture you.

“Look, I know you loved him, but you have to take care of yourself too, you know. He doesn’t do you any good. It’s time for you to let that toxic relationship go to waste, Y/N,” Iwaizumi lectured you, but clearly you weren’t listening to what he said.

Iwaizumi tilted your face gently with his fingers. You weren’t even looking at him in the eyes as tears dropped on your face. “I’m sorry if I ever did anything wrong to you, Iwa”, you apologized.

“Why are you crying? Oh my goodness,” Iwaizumi panicked. He genuinely did not know what to do in this situation. Slowly, he brought your head to his warm body. “It’s unlike you to cry, tough girl”, his voice softened while patting your head gently.

You chuckled, your vision glistening with tears. Iwaizumi’s touch made you feel comfortable, something that you need at the moment.

“My mom didn’t even care about me. Sh-she just left..” you mumbled softly under your breath. Your tears weren't stopping spilling out from your tears duct.

“She's busy, right? You know that more than anyone,” Iwaizumi hummed. His voice was soothing that it made you smiled, but you made sure you kept it hidden from Iwaizumi himself. He’d tease you endlessly if he ever sees you smile because of what he said.

“Dumbass, you need to eat. Are you trying to get sick again? Come on, eat this,” Iwaizumi said as he pointed to the rice he bought for you just now. You let out a deep sigh as you stared at the rice with a blank expression. You had lost your appetite, to be frankly speaking.

You took another bite, making sure your stomach fully digest it. Iwaizumi on your side waited for you to eat your meal properly. You felt like you had hired a personal bodyguard with him staring down on you the entire time.

“Iwa, you don’t have to look at me like that”, you scoffed lightly at him while feeding yourself another bite of the rice.

“I was making sure you’re eating properly”, Iwaizumi exclaimed. He dragged the chair closer to you. You gave a side glance at him, “Stop!” you yelled with a giggle.

“Oh, is that a laugh I hear?” Iwaizumi teased you. You shook your head continuously, trying to deny it even though the hard smile on your face was evident.

“I was sure I heard you laughed”, he wiggled his eyebrows at you. You just let out an annoyed sigh with rolled eyes at him. Both of you then looked at each other with a smile.

“Oikawa's gonna be here after school, by the way. He’s bringing Matsukawa and Makki along,” he informed you as he just got a message from Oikawa saying he’d drop by after school ends.

“Oh. You guys, you know... don’t have to visit me. You guys have practices after all,” you mumbled awkwardly while fidgeting with your fingers on top of the hospital's thin blanket.

Iwaizumi frowned at your sentence, “Our friend is sick, of course, we have to pay a visit. Don’t you think you would do the same thing too?" He crossed his arms while staring at you with an unreadable look. Whatever you said just now made him questioned if you really look at the four of them as friends.

You chuckled rigidly, “I’ve never had a real friend other than Yuuji, you know. That's why I was surprised seeing you guys here."

“Oh- Terushima, you meant? I’m sorry if my words offended you,” he apologized, realizing what he said earlier might come across as rude.

“Yeah, Yuuji is my only friend. He knows everything. Even if I’m stubborn, he still sticks with me. I owe him a lot,” you chattered, another tear dropped on your face. It’s just that you have gone through a lot, and it sickened you that nothing in your life ever worked out anymore.

“Do you want me to give him a call that you got admitted? I can do that for you,” Iwaizumi asked. He knew how important Yuuji is to you.

“I’ll tell him myself soon,” you smiled bitterly.

“How soon were you talking about?” Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows. It’s not like he doesn’t know how you are, generally.

You let out a soft sigh, “Truthfully, he’d nag if he knew I got admitted again.”

“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi asked. His expression showed that he didn’t get what you meant.

A nervous chuckle escaped your mouth. You were clueless about how to break it to him. “I’ve been admitted to hospital several times, to be honest. So, you know, he’ll nag the shit out of me if he knows this.”

You clearly saw his confused expression. Iwaizumi cleared his throat, “Of course he’d nag you, dumbass. Who wants to see their friend falls sick?”

“I know. I know that Iwa. It's just that... Nevermind. But, thank you so much for helping me today,” you thanked him again with a genuine smile this time.

Not long after, Oikawa, along with Makki and Matsukawa, arrived at your door with a bag of food. You smiled at them weakly, trying to give them a warm welcome.

“What happened, Y/N? I was shocked when the ambulance rushed you to the hospital,” Makki asked as he took a seat on the couch provided. You let out a soft sigh, “I was just stressed, and then I passed out. It happened before, so no worries.”

“That doesn’t convince me. Iwa-chan, what happened?” Oikawa appealed. He crossed his arms and looked at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi glanced over at you, “Y/N starved herself. She said she forgot to eat.”

Matsukawa looked at you with a mischievous smile, “Y/N, you’re really something. How could you forget to eat unintentionally? What’s wrong?” His tone was hinting that he couldn’t believe such mistake could happen.

Ah, there you were, caught red-handed. You bit your lip, “I-um, I suffered a loss of a loved one, okay? So.. yeah.”

“Oh my, what happened?” Oikawa asked this time. He was genuinely concerned and he also thought you had lost someone you truly loved.

“Y/N broke up with her boyfriend”, Iwaizumi blurted at last. Oikawa looked at you in disbelief, “What? I thought someone passed away or something. That douchebag? God, Y/N, you deserve so much better!”

You scoffed at Oikawa's words, “I know. My best friend has been telling me that every time. Thank you for the gentle reminder, Oikawa. I appreciate it. Thanks for dropping by too. I truly appreciate all of you coming here today.”

"Stop with that nonsense, please. We are your friends. That's what friends should do the very least," Oikawa scoffed dramatically. His brown eyes landed on your weak figure. He knew how painful your breakup was. Oikawa was in your place once upon a time. "You have to let go of that relationship, Y/N. Trust me," Oikawa said.

Yeah, the same old thing. You know it but you just couldn’t do it. Being cheated on is the final straw and you have to let this relationship for your own good too. Moving on takes time but everything starts from zero. You are not sure how you are going to do it, but you know it definitely will take you somewhere.

“Your words of wisdom might convince me someday but I’ll try. Thanks,” you gave him a bitter smile and Oikawa gave you the boyish grin that has all of his fan girls falling on their knees. Hopefully they will not come after you.

Iwaizumi gave his friends a once over, “She’s back.”

All of them burst into laughter after Iwaizumi said that, insinuating your sarcasm was the indicator of you coming back. You swatted him on the arm and he ruffled your hair messily.

“You’ll pay for that, Iwa,” you threatened him with a glare.

“Gladly looking forward to it,” he said with a glint of mischievous in his eyes, along with the stupid grin you wanted to wipe from his face.

Funny enough, your stupid heart decided to flutter at his remarks. Well, looks like you have another trouble to look out for.

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!! smut #hq smut #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime smut #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #[💭]. ain’t my fault

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wangxianficrecs · 1 year

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The Wild Geese's Tomb by The Feels Whale (miscellea)

The Wild Geese's Tomb

by The Feels Whale (miscellea)

T, 66k, wangxian

Summary: Lan Zhan dies two years before canon and promptly wakes up in the library at Cloud Recesses right across from Wei Wuxian, napping facedown in a pile of copywork. He has a lot of questions. Is this the afterlife? If it's not, then is he alone with his memories? And most importantly, what does he need to do to keep his soulmate alive this time? Wei Ying did not stir as he knelt down by the desk. It had been so long since Lan Zhan had seen those beloved features and even longer since he’d been allowed to either get or stay this close to Wei Ying. He looked so different from Lan Zhan’s memories; apple cheeked, clean, and relaxed. Lan Zhan clamped both hands over his own mouth to stop the pained noise that threatened to escape him. Hot tears spilled down his face as he watched the young, safe, and whole boy sleep. His stomach cramped with the effort of holding the sound in, but he’d sooner die than wake Wei Ying up.

Mojo's comments: I was interrupted so many times while reading this that it took 3 days and I cannot do it justice. I did tags, though! Anyway, it's a delightful time travel fix it, wherein lwj dies and opens his eyes to his student days. Slowly, he determines that a handful of other people came back, too, all of whom died before him. He and wwx team up, try to tweak events, get together (lwj died during the 13 years, so there was no established relationship). Meanwhile, there's a mastermind somewhere, pulling strings, putting everyone in their places (meng yao shows up as a student and gets a new arc, focused on lxc of course). Great thoughts on musical cultivation, yin iron and resentful energy. (Also, Madam Yu and Meng Yao get to do a bitch-off, which is very satisfying.)

xiyao, time travel, fix-it, temporary character death, all women live, pov lan wangji, cloud recesses study arc, introspection, depression, waterborne abyss, pining, getting together, protective siblings, first kiss, chronic illness, mental health, marriage, good lan qiren, good meng yao, happy ending, cultivation theory, genius wei wuxian, powerful wei wuxian, sect politics, @thefeelswhale

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

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futureacesquad · 8 months

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Captain Squad Headcanons

Warning: LONG post.

They all hang out on Skype the most because y'know...different prefectures lol.

The Miyagi captains see each other a lot tho!

The current second-year captains especially exchange advice a lot since they're newest to it.

Shibuya (Tokonami Captain; I'm just guessing here): Guys I think I accidentally started a disagreement between the first-years and I feel really bad about it, what do I do?

Futakuchi (Date Tech Captain): Look, I start 90% of the fights on my team so...

Towada (Ougiminami Captain): Our team just settles it in a death match.

Terushima (Johzenji Captain): We don't really fight per say, the gym just accidentally gets set on fire on occasion.

Komaki (Kakugawa Captain): Why do I feel like I'm the only one who actually has it semi-together?

Fr tho all the captains envy Komaki so much because his team is literally the only decently-sane one among them.

Like the biggest problem he has to deal with other than teens being teens is Asamushi getting too fired up sometimes and Hyakuzawa accidentally hitting his head on doorways.

As for dynamics among them...

There is a mutual agreement to keep Kuroo and Daishou separated at all times because the power of petty exes is too much for them (Iizuna is in charge of making sure they're at least 6 feet apart when possible).

The ONLY time those two have ever agreed on something was when some asshole started insulting their first-years.

The guy still gets nightmares about it.

Oikawa and Ushijima are also kept apart most times, though Oikawa's getting better at understanding him while Ushijima is starting to get why Oikawa feels the way he does.

They like to bitch about their fellow year-mates too.

Daichi complains about Suga's chaoticness and Asahi's timidness.

Kuroo complains about Yaku at any opportunity (though rarely Kai).

Oikawa loudly whines about the "disrespect" he endures from all the third-years (barring Yuda, the one who was crying with pride for all of them).

Daishou is fed up with how unhelpful his third-years are when it comes to any life advice (he doesn't have it together, but nobody else does either, sooo).

Bokuto likes to join Oikawa in his protest against "cruelty against captains"; the one he complains most about is Konoha, but the rest of them are still talked about very frequently.

Nakashima always follows up his complaints with something positive about them. Daichi is both jealous and in awe of this (little does he know it's a technique developed to stop Takeru from decking his siblings sometimes).

Ushijima doesn't like to complain about his teammates much bc he doesn't really see the point when you could just tell them they're being annoying dicks.

Iizuna's complaints usually aren't too bad and far between, but on days when Itachiyama loses practice matches due to the team's attitude...whoo boy.

Suwa is like...so calm? And his complaints are always so minor? And always with a completely patient expression? And the captains are so confused in the beginning because their only prior personal experience with Kamomedai is the few Hoshiumi interviews people manage to get and that kid sure as hell isn't this calm.

And then one day Nozawa is making provocations worthy of Futakuchi and he comes in complaining and everyone's just like there it is.

Echigo's pretty chill too, since Tsubakihara isn't a particularly rambunctious team, but some days Teradomari gets completely slandered for the dumbass moves he pulls during practice on occasion (he's trying to show off to the underclassmen; spoilers, it's not working, but Himekawa politely claps for him at least).

Kiryuu always feels really bad about venting even when it's clear he needs to (he was the one who put in the "no insulting the second or first years" rule since he felt it was unfair to the underclassmen), but he's getting better.

Him and Oikawa trade mental health tips sometimes.

The previous captains like to drop in sometimes.

It's canonical that the Date Tech third-years can't leave their underclassmen alone, so they show up most often.

The two Komakis confuse everyone to no end.

Ikejiri and Komaki H (Tokonami's old captain) show up the most for their team.

Ikejiri is delighted to catch up with Daichi (they start having monthly catch-up sessions with Yui too at one point).

Okudake and Akimiya drop by sometimes to make sure their second-years haven't convinced anyone to commit major arson or join a gang.

Moniwa, Okudake and Akimiya are highly respected by everyone for dealing with the hazardous sassy disasters known as the Date Tech, Johzenji and Ougiminami second-years.

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bigfan-fanfic · 2 years

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Barry the Big Brother (Male!Reader x Barry Allen) PLATONIC

Requested by @redheadjustin for Um can I get for barry allen taking a young hero who can control time and age under his wing?

Barry frowns as he slips into some kind of field where time moves more slowly.

Basically he's stuck at normal pace while everyone is slowed down.

And that's when he sees you.

There are some rapidly aging muggers surrounding you, and Barry quickly (or... slowly) runs in to get your attention. In an instant, everything returns to normal speed, and there are three geriatric men collapsed on the ground around you.

Barry hugs you, seeing how distraught you are. "Hey... hey, it's okay, buddy. I'm not gonna let anything hurt you. Do you... do you think you can get them back to normal?"

You shake your head, terrified, and Barry makes a split-second decision.

And that's how you first came to STAR Labs.

Cisco and Caitlin figure out that your power involves control over a thought-to-be-hypothetical particle known as tachyons, which operate at FTL (faster than light) speeds, allowing you to physically age and de-age matter, and have a minor control, through relativity, over the way organic matter experiences the flow of time.

It appears that without your influence, physics eventually trumps quantum physics, and those affected by your power will return to normal if they haven't expired as a result of your effect on them.

Barry looks at you. "Y/N, you're still a kid. You've got a lot of life ahead of you - but if you want, this is a place where people like you and me use our powers to help people."

You nod. "I... I'm still kinda scared... but if I can, I want to help."

Barry becomes basically like a brother you always wanted. He takes care of you, gets you a place to stay and makes sure you're enrolled in school - there's no one else out there to take care of you, and Barry feels responsible for you. For a while, you stay at STAR Labs, but then Iris, Barry's wife, asks if maybe you'd like to stay with them in their spare room.

You're not much a fan of Killer Frost (though you do like Caitlin a lot) so you agree, and Iris becomes like your big sister.

You don't do much physical crime fighting, learning that a lot of what Team Flash does is more about the science, about understanding people and what makes them tick, both emotionally and physically. Cisco sometimes uses his power to jump you out into the field so you can help Barry, eroding metal and concrete to help him break through walls, speeding him up by hastening the flow of time around him and slowing his enemies, and generally playing crowd control.

But Barry makes sure you're not burned out as well. Some of the stuff Team Flash deals with is way too much for a kid, and Barry does shield you from it. He knows you do a lot, and he does trust you, but he explains it as just another professional courtesy - even professional law enforcement has to rotate their personnel on disturbing cases for mental health. And just in the same way that they won't endanger a kid in the field, they can't endanger your mental health either.

Barry always makes time to take you out on a brother outing every week - you two do spend a lot of time together otherwise, but this is just you two, and nothing powers or hero work allowed. Sometimes you two just hang out at Jitters, sometimes he drives (or speeds) you out somewhere fun, like a beach, or that one two-story Big Belly Burger over in National City.

Eventually Barry starts to refer to you as his little brother, and you realize you like it a lot. Cecile Horton is able to pull some strings to grant Barry and Iris legal guardianship of you, and finally there's some paperwork giving you a place to stay, with Barry and Iris who really care about you.

And soon, the city names you.

Flashback, due to your time power. Which, yeah, isn't the greatest, but it sticks, and you feel a sense of belonging as you truly join Team Flash.

#barry allen x male reader #barry allen x reader #the flash x reader #the flash headcanons #dc headcanons #headcanons

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drabk-the-sharak-of-okbra · 3 months

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i finally established enough of the story to write a synopsis, so:

My Planiverse x Gravity Falls crossover, All Seeing All Knowing Eyes (under the cut):

Yendred leaves on his journey to discover knowledge of the Beyond, having been in contact with the humans from the 'space beyond space' for a few days now. It is then that he is contacted by Bill. One of the ways Bill can enter into a person's Mindscape is if they continuously and deeply think about a higher being (like calling one for help, or philosophical thought on the existence of one.) This is how Yendred became of such interest to Bill-- his constant thoughts about 'space beyond space' and higher dimensions were basically a beacon of opportunity for Bill to take advantage of. Bill intends to use the Planiverse as a stepping stone to gain access to the 3rd dimension. Yendred is nothing but an expendable (and naive) pawn.

Bill promises him to provide him with infinite knowledge and experience about everything he's ever wanted to know. Bill uses his powers to prove that he's just as powerful as he claims to be, phasing in and out of his dimension, and tells Yendred all he must do in return in a little favor: building a portal to the 3D world so that Yendred may physically experience the higher dimensionality that could never be understood in just words. He accepts.

Bill starts out kind and reassuring, making sure his favorite puppet's morale is kept up. Because storing large amounts of information is almost impossible in their 2D world, apart from highly experimental and difficult to get computers, and complex structures are difficult to build, especially in secret, it takes much longer than Bill would like. It's also taking a toll on Yendred: he must continue his journey, and it's going to be impossible to hide his activities from the humans.

Bill has been unaware that Yendred has had contact with humans this entire time. When he finds out, he's furious that, one, they're going to impede his plans, and two, he's been sharing his precious pawn with some grubby meatsacks. He finds a way to infiltrate the computer that they're using to contact Yendred in order to shut it down and isolate them from Yendred. When he does so, one human in particular is extremely worried for Yendred: Alice.

She logs on day after day, attempting to contact Yendred even after their connection has been severed. In his pettiness, Bill starts to mess with this human who is trying her best to ruin his plan. He contacts her through ominous messages and symbols that do nothing but throw her for loops. He sabatoges all of her attempts to record any of their conversations, knowing that she can't tell anyone because she would be considered insane. She's slowly becomes more and more paranoid throughout her daily life, trying to find any trace of Bill's existence in the human world.

Meanwhile, Yendred is becoming uneasy about the plan. Though Bill tells him contact with the humans had to be cut off because they would have held him back from reaching three dimensions because of their sentimentality, he misses them every day, especially Alice, and his mental health is deteriorating. When he has spent many isolated years researching for and building the portal, he has a nightmare. The entire world has caught on fire, and he and Bill are floating above it all. Bill watches with a grin, and tells him how great of a team they made. It's the final breaking point for Yendred.

When he wakes, he tells Bill that he won't complete the portal if he won't let him speak to the humans. Bill is done treating him kindly-- he knows Yendred relies on him now too much to fight back in any way-- and flies into a rage. Yendred's world is a 2D plane which exists in a 3D void; Bill pulls him into it, showing him that it is completely empty and barren of all life. Yendred will never be able to see a true 3D world without the construction of the portal, which is only possible with Bill's instructions. This is all that awaits him if he shuns Bill. Yendred is terrified, and finishes the portal out of fear of both punishment from Bill and the prospect of that 'nothingness beyond nothingness.'

In these months, Alice has dug deep enough to find traces of Bill's interactions with the human world, obscure symbols and myths that all relate to him. She finds another person who believes in Bill's existence, a deeply passionate magician who wants to help Alice rid Yendred's world of Bill. They preform a 'binding spell' on a USB stick, telling her to use it the next time she tries to speak with Bill. She plans to transfer Bill into the USB stick, believing that part of him is tied to the computer because of his interactions with her on it. She is at her last resort of logic.

When Alice turns on the computer to contact Yendred, Bill allows her to, so that she can watch what Yendred's efforts have done. The portal has been turned on, and the entrance of the henchmaniacs has brought along with it fire. It spreads quickly in his dimension, burning and slowly killing him as he can't escape from the room. Alice puts the USB stick in the computer: Bill's guard is down, and the force of the spell binds him to the 2D world, preventing him from escaping from it. He is transferred into the USB stick. Yendred is as well.

Fire is deadly in Yendred's world, and such a steady supply of destruction quickly burns his dimension to the ground, leaving nothing but a wasteland that is falling apart at the seams and will eventually rot away. Alice doesn't watch to see the end of it. She can't bring herself to destroy the USB stick knowing Yendred is in there too. Instead, she opts to hide it somewhere. There is an obscure town in Oregon called Gravity Falls, one that nobody would know of unless they readily looked for it, and it has a cave that has a reputation for being haunted and nobody coming out alive. She buries the USB stick far underneath the ground in front of the cave, hoping that nobody will find it.

Yendred is stuck in his own mindscape, and the USB stick becomes its own little pocket dimension. Bill is stuck in a separate part from him, and has become static; the small spark of conciousness left in him isn't enough to bring him back to any sort of awareness, and he can only be awakened by somebody activating the USB stick and transfering him out. It will be a while before Ford Pines finds him.

#the planiverse #sorry this is so long!! but i have no idea if I’ll ever actually write the fic and i want to get all the ideas in one place

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alluraaaa · 9 months

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46. For everyone

46. the person they most admire

this question is so fucking hard, but i mean that in the best possible way. this team clearly has so much affection for one another, but admiration is a specific word and hard to work with, in a way. no lie, my process was staring at my phone, typing something out without thinking, and then realizing what the answer is

shiro: hunk. as team leader, he makes it his responsibility to look after the team’s mental health and let them use him like a therapist. once he makes that known, hunk is very open about how anxious and scared he is, how he’s kinda always been like that. hunk wasn’t studying to be a pilot, doesn’t have anyone in his family who are pilots. he’s young, and he has no idea what he’s doing! he wants to go home!! but he keeps going, not because there’s no other choice, but because he wants to help people more than he wants to see earth. for shiro, who only survived the pits because it was either kill or die, hunk is endlessly inspiring.

keith: shiro. not a lot of explanation is needed here, it’s the obvious answer. while the garrison trio also look up to shiro as a teacher and pilot, keith looks up to shiro for everything. without shiro, keith would be in some juvy on earth instead of getting to save the world. keith owes everything to his brother, who won’t give up on him, no matter how many times it takes.

pidge: lance. she spent the first months knowing him trying desperately to push him away, because it hurt to look at him. he’s just like matt, and she doesn’t wanna just replace him even if it is nice to have someone who shares his jacket and ruffles her hair and cleans her glasses without her asking. but when she spat vitriol at him, he retorted with something just as piercing, not letting her get away with it. and he stayed. despite the war, despite her, he’s still here, blowing raspberries at her and wading through fountains to collect change. so when their barbs got more and more affectionate, she wanted to be mad at how he wormed his way into her heart. but she’s not replacing her big brother, she’s gaining another.

lance: keith. the infamous rivalry was born from admiration, after all, even if he didn’t know it. he was hoping one day he’d be the better pilot, the better paladin, but once he actually was keith’s equal, he found he actually liked it. them butting heads worked in a way nothing else did. it wasn’t hunk’s hugs or pidge’s snark or coran’s stories, it was difficult. there’s pushing and shoving and hair pulling and wet willies and it’s so fun. in a nearly empty castle with only six others, you get bored. having someone who doesn’t look down on you as a person while wrestling over the remote is really nice. not to mention, keith isn’t nearly as perfect and lance thought. to learn that someone he put on a pedestal has flaws and weaknesses that lance compliments? kind of life changing, to say the least.

hunk: pidge. she’s so little and he’s so big but she keeps up with him easily, and sometimes he’s the one who has to keep up. absolutely nothing stops her once she puts her mind to it, and has a way of thinking through things that just eliminates any possibility of anxiety. if there’s a pidge, there’s a way. there are also times, though, when she’s sad or scared or small, but trusts him to not hurt her, despite him being big. she knows he won’t judge her for not understanding a formula, or needing help with a line of code, or crying on his shoulder when she misses her family. he realizes, one quiet night, that she trusts him not despite his size but because of it. she finds comfort in big brothers.

allura: coran. she turns to him for anything and everything, gives orders and trusts he’ll follow them, and he’s the only parent she has left. she knows that he’s suffering just as much as her, but he doesn’t let it stop him the way it stops her sometimes. when it stops her, he’s the only one who can get her going again. she doesn’t know how he does it. and she offers to help, she’s not stupid, she knows he’s keeping the hard parts to himself while also helping her, and she says it’s not fair. she wants to help him too, what can she do to help? but he just brushes the hair away from her face, kisses her forehead, and tells her all he wants is for her to get a full night’s rest. and… she can’t say no to that. when they’re in her bed and he’s serenely narrating his way through a story of his past, she can curl up to his side, close her eyes, and know that no matter what, he’s the constant in her life.

coran: allura. she used to be so happy, and she’s so young, and so hurt, and so tired. but despite it all, or maybe because of it all, she works so hard to fight a man who betrayed them so harshly. if anyone deserves to shirk the responsibility of voltron and live out their days on a peaceful remote planet, it’s the two of them. but she refuses to give up, so neither does he. he does all he can, despite the weariness in his bones, to help her. he’ll polish her helmet visor, braid her hair, wipe away her tears. he’ll polish the ship’s controls, groom his mustache, wipe away his own tears. he’ll do it all, so she doesn’t have to. and when they find out that they weren’t the only alteans left, when they found a new altea, she doesn’t want anyone else officiating her coronation, and he doesn’t want anyone else as queen. they both cry during the ceremony, and he hugs his daughter, holding her close.

(send a character + a number)

#this was so fun omg omg omg #tysm holly <333333 #ask #tarantula hawk wasp #long post #team #hunk&shiro #keith&shiro #lance&pidge #keith&lance #hunk&pidge #allura&coran #give me ANY pair between these seven and i could tell you how much they love each other and why. IM SO NORMAL

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time-is-restored · 11 months

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ted lasso 3x11

got through the latest episode tonight, below are unassorted ramblings abt a kansas ending (which i, despite being almost certain is where the show is heading, am still ardently rooting against):

so i was talking a little with my family abt the extremely likely kansas ending*, and was mentioning how much i really don't vibe with it. i said smth like 'i mean, what's even there for him in kansas?' to which they said (fairly, and rightfully!) 'his son!'. like, that's a pretty bulletproof argument, so i guess im just writing this to figure out why i feel like even that isn't. idk. enough?

[*though if that is the ending, what's the point of the cliffhanger? it's the most obvious + expected outcome, how would it be a 'reveal'? idk, some part of me is still praying for one of those classic Twists™ ig]

like. we've known that ted has a kid since day one. we've known that he loves + misses that kid since day one. according to the text, the number one reason ted left kansas was as a last ditch effort to save his marriage, by giving michelle as much space as humanly possible. they were divorced by the middle of the season, and ted chose to stay at the end.

so like. idk. am i missing something? did he just stay bc he felt an obligation to the team? and now that they're doing well (absurdly, breaking the bounds of belief well), he feels okay moving on? like many ppl have already pointed out, that's a pretty standard plot line in these kind of stories: the mary poppin's style exit stage right. but, say ted goes home (potentially even without beard???? agh??). what's happened to him, these past few seasons? what's different now?

like, it kind of feels like im only gonna be hurt by reading in between the lines here, but kansas doesn't seem to hold a lot of good associations for ted w/o the bedrock of his + michelle's marriage. he's reduced to a morose, spaced out mess within 5 minutes of talking with his mother, he very nearly goes through the Extremely fucked up move of paying someone to spy on michelle after seeing her + jake together for an afternoon, and ofc if anything even remotely reminds him of his dad he gets triggered really badly.

and of course, maybe the idea is 'well, he's started to cope with that all now, and he's starting to talk openly with his mum + grieve his dad, so he has the tools to return' but like. does he???? his support system are EXTREMELY london based. setting aside sharon since he could always telehealth w her, all of the positive progress he's made in his 'home' life seem to exclusively come after he talks w his support group at richmond.

he ended up admitting he was mad at michelle after speaking with the diamond dogs, he was pulled out of his obsessive spiral by rebecca, and he was able to put words to his feelings abt his mum by talking w jamie. to be clear, those are all massively positive things for ted to have done, and i think they at least make a good case for ted progressive positively w his mental health (even if its all gotten a bit tell don't show in this last season). but like. what happens when all that's on the other side of an ocean?

to be clear, from the perspective of real life, it absolutely makes sense that ted would want to return to his son. but on a narrative level, im just. i feel like im being expected to take certain things about ted + henry's relationship for granted, when the text itself hasn't even tried to make those things apparent.

is henry miserable or even generally upset when he has to leave his dad/go back to his mum? not that we ever see! im pretty sure the only time we've seen henry explicitly upset is when ted was ignoring him while he was like five feet away which, yeah, mood! and last we saw, henry even sees more enthused abt richmond winning the whole thing than ted is, so its not like he thinks his dad is just going away to do absolutely nothing of import.

do ted and henry not spend a lot of time together/talk very often? technically we don't see enough of ted's daily routine to know for sure, but the casual mention of playing roblox seems to imply they spend a lot of time together! and ofc none of their phone calls ever have the vibe of 'i haven't spoken to you in ages, here's ALL THE THINGS you've missed!'. they're almost all abt stuff that happened that day.

is ted struggling with being away from henry? well... yes, duh, but i don't even think this season's done particularly well establishing THAT (incredibly obvious and free) piece of ted characterisation.

is ted capable of feeling anything other than vague nostalgia (ie: all of his annecdotes being set there) or extreme distress wrt kansas? apparently not! like, seriously, what is there for him? does he have any friends? a job? family that isn't his mother? where's he gonna live? does he miss the weather? his neighbours? like i am literally on my hands and knees give me ONE (1) concrete opinion ted has about the fucking place that isn't about its FOOD (<- ESPECIALLY coming off the back of an episode where ted was able to experience texan food So Authentic™ that it inspired a literal career-changing epiphany?? like HOW are we supposed to take that as anything other than 'ted is at his best when he acknowledges BOTH of his lives rather than cutting one out in favour of the other'???).

idk. i guess my real problem this late in the game is i can see so many POTENTIAL versions of this show, but what ive been given doesn't feel like it matches up with any of them.

i can imagine a story in which ted's avoidance + variations upon running-away tactics for dealing w conflict get thoroughly deconstructed and challenged while in london, so at the end of the show he's finally emotionally prepared to return to his life in kansas even though it's never going to be a fairytale picturesque no-problems-ever ending again.

i can imagine a story in which going back to kansas isn't good for ted, and will be a major sacrifice, but it's a sacrifice he will be making with the support of his new friends + family, and something that he is determined to make in order to be there w his son, all meaningfully juxtaposed w how he feels his dad 'quit' on him.

i can imagine a story where ultimately, the life that ted's made alongside richmond is just as important to him as his life in kansas, and so he + michelle work out a more equal and long-term custody arangement* with henry (it definitely seems like the 'you get him for the whole year and i get him on school break' was something haphazardly worked out while they were both still under the assumption he'd be in richmond for less than a year), and they alternate who goes to whose home for holidays and shit.

[*side note, why hasn't that come up at all? i'd personally think somewhere around the six month mark of working overseas i'd want to have a talk w my expartner + kid about a schedule that isn't so much of a 80/20 split? like, it's fine if henry moving isn't on the table at all for one reason or another, but at least take the time to actually SAY that??? like, what does michelle do for a living? why is SHE so happy to stay there? give me Literally Anything here gang!!!]

...but ultimately what ive actually seen on screen feels like it fits into none of those categories. eleven hours (in as many episodes!! HOUR! long! episodes!!!!!!) in and i feel like i know infinitely less about ted + his mental state than i did in s1. like, from episode to episode, the writer's aren't sure if he's stuck, or progressing, or going through that classic recovery 'one step forwards, two steps back' dance, or just completely and utterly depressed. there's no continuity. nothing that happens to him in one episode seems to have literally any bearing at all on the ted in the next episode. if u scrubbed all of the notable Ted Scenes™ of any overarching plot references, and shuffled them all up, i genuinely think you would end up w a plateau of scenes totally indistinguishable from each other!*

[*of course, this is my main critique of s3 for like. literally everyone, but it's paticularly damning when im left feeling this lost about the main fucking guy.]

i don't know. i guess after the past few weeks of being really genuinely hurt + angry + upset abt the choices made this season, the feeling im left with near the end of it all is. underwhelmed. and im really not sure what 3x12 could possibly do to change that feeling... even if i am still regrettably, but sincerely rooting for a last minute switcheroo.

#mine #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso meta #ted lasso critical #ughghghghhhh. breaking up w a show is emotionally exhausitng one hasn't hit me this bad since s10 -> 12 of d*ctor wh*.#the potential :( the blorbos :( all doomed to languish in a fucking. lifeless enclosure. w no prospects or hope or vision for fucking #anything interesting to happen to them literally ever. bluuuuuuuh.#the only thing keeping me sane through all this is unironically the fact that the WGA are striking rn. i hope they all get $600 million #dollars and lifelong permission to rock up to execs + ceo's office with a Fucking Bat.#:(

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paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 · 6 months

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I got some more questions lol you don’t have to respond today, you can take a break for your mental health I can wait a day or two. But if you have the time:

1: even though they are a duo, are they part of a team like the teen titans?

2: I read your earlier posts saying they pulled a prank on kon-El, what kinda pranks do they do?

3: you know how in Dragonball piccolo would jump in front of a deadly blast to defend gohan and died, would Chris and Jake do that to defend each other?

4: would they taunt the bad guys, like sticking their tongue out, doing that pulling down the eyelid like in anime, mooning, flipping the bird, saying nanny nanny boo boo etc?

5: not really a question but I think you can create a manga/comic about the starburst duo on WEBTOON without illegal interference from DC if you have the time and want to, I’ll definitely would subscribe and give stories

1. They actually do have a team to call their own, composed of other kids of the Titans. All together, the group is dubbed Team StarKnights, a ‘brother’ group to Mar’i’s Titans of Tomorrow team

2. Rather simple enough small pranks involving his shampoo bottles or soap bars usually the wrong ones for him, also swapping his snacks for different ones he won’t recognize until it’s too late. Then there’s one time they put toy snakes inside of the fridge when he was getting a snack during a lazy day

3. Oh for sure, definitely Chris since unlike Piccolo he can take about almost blast and not die as a result. Though there have been moments when Jake does the same for his friend, with a lot more devastating consequences. While he thankfully hasn’t died yet in turn, it’s safe to say Jake is rendered unable to fight the rest of the battle in those cases. How fortunate for our heroes then that those time cause Chris to tap into the Nightwing entity to utterly destroy the villain responsible.

4. Probably especially when our heroes are playfully fighting against Cinderblock but it’ll mainly be Jake who at most would flip the bird. As for mooning and tongue sticking, they’re a bit more polite than that and focus on their job. The most common taunting of anything are puns that wouldn’t be out of place in a Silver Age comic

5. Well, it had been a while since I actually posted any fanfics online that I feel are top quality not to mention I usually don’t draw anything to complex. Still thanks so much for the compliments and story suggestions are greatly appreciated @gothicghost2000 :-D

Thanks for the asks my friend

#chris kent #jake grayson #starburst duo #sfw

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nikoisanidiot · 2 years

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Explaining my AU||Background Info and The Creeps

The Creeps are a group of killers outcast from society that lurk in the woods of Denver, Colorado. In my au, some creeps live together in cabins, while others live completely alone, secluded basically(for good reason). The Creeps don't exactly have a boss. Slenderman/Operator is a sentient being the creeps are trying to find more out about because boy oh boy does that being cause chaos. The main 3 proxies are Tim, Brian and Toby. These are the three usually leading hunts for the Operator or giving out commands for solo missions. The creeps don't kill at random, but that being said, the more unhinged, otherworldly do kill at random. The unhinged include EJ, LJ, Candypop, and Kagekao. Though rare they do, it's only random people that wander a little too close to the cabins they inhabit. Onto the creeps!(I will be doing more details for each individual in the future, but this is just a general look into the character.)

Eyeless Jack- 26 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Died by sacrifice. Jack prefers to go by just Jack but when there's two Jacks in the group, it's hard to refer to him as just "Jack", as LJ and EJ would get mixed up a lot. Jack is a medic, and does a lot of the repairs for the team. He likes to be alone, and often the others stay away from him, mainly cause they are scared of the man. EJ does have a separate room in his cabin(he lives alone) where he does all his operations, like fixing up Jeff for the millionth time that week. He also does all his organ harvesting in there. Jeff Woods- 22 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Jeff(or better known a Jeff The Killer) is a 22 year old Hispanic man. He was acquired by the team when he was found lurking alone in the woods after killing his own family(all except is brother, Liu Woods). Jack is the "strongman" of the team, carrying a lot of brute strength and weird patterns of behaviour. Jeff lives in a cabin with one of the other creeps he gets along with. He live's with BEN. BEN- 19 yrs old||Goes by he/they/it||Died by sacrifice. BEN is a nerd, I'm throwing that on the table right away. He's a computer nerd and does most of the tech stuff the creeps need to have done. BEN is probably the least social guy you will ever fucking meet, he often stays in his room and doesn't come out for hours at a time, busy on his devices or doing something for the team. Toby Rogers- 20 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Toby is one of the three men that leads the team on hunts/missions for the operator. He isn't immature but also isn't mature either. When it comes to living with people, he live's alone. He's not fond of newcomers, and certain creeps. He doesn't like Jeff all that much, or Tim. Mainly cause Tim and Toby just butt heads a lot. Toby has CIPA, tourettes, and PTSD. All three of these illnesses are dangerous to his mental health and physical health, but he's coping. Toby is an alcoholic in my AU.

Sally Williams- 14 yrs old||Goes by she/they||Died by murder. Sally is a spunky girl, she's very sweet and love's to pull pranks on the creeps. Many of them love her, as she grew up with them. Sally carries around a stuffed animal bear. While she's not fond of killing and rarely ever does, she does like to scare adults, play with kids and learn what being a teen is all about.

Jane Richardson- 24 yrs old||Goes by she/her||Isn't dead. Jane Richardson isn't a creep, getting that off my chest right now. She is a lone assassin killer looking for Jeffery Woods after he killed her family, alongside his own. Jane is a lesbian and her favourite thing on a woman are their hands. Hands tell a story, and she love's stories. She can be cold towards those around her but is mostly sweet to them. Jane is a romantic-goth!

Tim Wright- 29 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Tim is kind of an asshat sometimes and is also really sweet at the same time. He's the head of the creeps, self titled with Brian. He is a leader, has that personality. This man does have DID and Schizophrenia. Tim is the only one who has come close to the operator and has severe night terrors over the haunting image that was the operator. Cigarette addict(Trying to still keep this a little accurate). But overall? Nice guy who is just tryna survive.

Brian Thompson- 28 yrs old||Goes by he/him||Isn't dead. Brian is a bit of a secluded guy who only really interacts with Tim, sometimes EJ if he's felling up to the task. But more often then not, he's alone in his room. He and Tim share a cabin. Brian likes guns, he prefers them. They are easier to handle. Note about Tim, Toby and Brian. Tim, Toby and Brian all look the most human, so typically, these three are the ones who go into town to get supplies for the others. Like food, water, clothing, shoes, new weapons, ect. Toby usually wears a mask over his mouth to hide his scar, he looks human, other than that.

These are just a few pasta's for now!

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softforloki · 2 years

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I was wondering if you could do one where reader is always taking care of other people. That she has had barely any time for herself. She is getting worn down and no one seems to notice besides Loki.

Loki and reader have been together for a long while and he notices it and she refuses any help when he offers it.

Few days go past and she is growing tired and reader has been falling asleep and not eating and Loki decided he needs to do something

So the next day he lets her sleep in and tells everyone to get out. They all nod in understanding and he makes u food. Makes you laugh, there’s taking a relaxing bath together and massage and then after you braid their hair when he goes into his female form (genderfluid Loki) you even cuddle and you rest your head on her chest and they laugh about it as you fall asleep once again.

YES. Yes. I love everything about this.

Summery: Loki watches as you run yourself into the ground, then is there to pick you back up.

Word Count: 1,924

Warnings: Slight mentions of nudity, nothing overly explicit tho

Masterlist

Rest and Relaxation

As the on-site clinical psychologist of the Avengers meant that you were never not doing you job.

Each and every person on the team had a seemingly never ending list of personal problems. The day you’d asked Tony to list a few of his stressors, and he’d replied “I’m going to need two bottles of whiskey and fifty feet of paper to even begin.” would forever be known as a day that would live in infamy.

Interestingly, it was also the day you started drinking.

Loki knew you had to take care of people- it was literally your job- but when that caused you to fail to prioritize your own wellbeing, that was when he started to have an issue.

“Darling, are you well?” Loki stood behind where you sat at your desk, placing both hands on your shoulders comfortingly.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” You barely looked up at him, your fingers never ceasing their clicking across your computer’s keyboard.

“Because you missed dinner. Have you been here the whole time?”

“It’s fine, I had a snack earlier.” You dismissed.

“What are you even doing?”

“Compiling a list of books and texts on the study of alcoholism as a coping mechanism. Both Tony and Thor tend to turn to booze when they’re trying to get through something emotionally- which I’ve told them multiple times is unbelievably unhealthy, but don’t listen to the licensed mental health counselor, I guess- so I’m trying to find them some actually concrete evidence so they don’t just have to take my word for it.”

Loki normally found it adorable and endearing when you spoke of your occupation and what you learned. This was different, though. You weren’t talking excitedly about something you were passionate about, your words were tense, manic, even. You stumbled over them in an effort to get them all out.

“Dearest,” Loki began, gently pulling your swivel chair away from your desk. “I think you need a break.”

“I’m fine, I have to-”

“It’s not your job to micromanage everyone’s behavior.”

You scowled, pointing indignantly to your framed college degree hanging on the wall of your office. Loki couldn’t help but let a chuckle slip at the look on your face.

“I was under the impression that your job involved you giving your expert opinion to your clients on how they can better handle themselves. Whether or not they improve is entirely up to them.” He pointed out. “I believe you told me once, “I get paid regardless of whether they get better or not”, does that not still hold true?”

“That’s different,” You insisted. “With regular clients, yes. But I act more as a consultent with you guys. My job is more to monitor everyone and step in if I see someone going off the deep end. Besides, I’m genuinely worried about Tony and Thor.”

Loki narrowed his eyes at you. “If I let you continue here, do you promise that you’ll go take a break when you’ve finished with this?”

“Yeah, I’m almost done, anyway.” You smiled weakly. “I’ll go get a snack, or something.”

Loki sighed and acquiesced, letting you roll your chair back to the computer. He leaned down to kiss your cheek. “Your work here is admirable, love, but please don’t run yourself into the ground for our sakes.”

“Hmm,” You leaned into his touch, gazing at him so lovingly that it made his knees go a little weak.

It had not escaped Loki’s noticed that you hadn’t agreed not to keep tiring yourself out.

. . .

He couldn’t blame you, Loki realized. He certainly wouldn’t want to be put in charge of the mental and emotional wellbeing of the Avengers, a group of people who had long histories of trauma and other personal problems.

You were working as hard as ever, gluing yourself to your computer for hours at a time, or sitting and talking with a member of the team, trying to convince them to either get their own therapist or take better car of themself for stretches of time that seemed to go on forever.

To their credit, a few of them started to take your advice (mostly after Loki haggled them to do so), but it still didn’t stop you from crashing and burning.

Loki had only started showing up to group meals with the team at your behest, but you starting showing up less and less. He stopped seeing you around the tower at all, having to seek you out in your office.

He knocked on the door one evening after the table had been cleared at dinner. “Darling, you missed dinner.” He held the plate of food carefully in one hand, knocking again with the other when you didn’t immediately respond. “Darling?”

Still no reply. Loki cracked open the door, peaking inside. You were slumped over at your desk, head cushioned by your folded arms. He silently approached you, gently setting your dinner on the desk, and leaning over you. You were fast asleep.

He sighed, smiling fondly at you. He carefully eased you out of your chair and into his arms. He magically transported you to your apartment, setting about putting you to bed. He made a mental note to later take care of the food he’d brought to your office as he carefully changed you into sleepwear.

“Sleep well, my sweet.” Loki whispered, pressing a delicate kiss to your forehead as he tucked you into bed. Before he left, he made sure your alarm was turned off.

. . .

You woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking. You looked around your bedroom, confused, not remembering coming back home. You were even more confused when you saw that you’d slept in.

You got up, feeling more well-rested than you had in days, and went to investigate the kitchen.

Loki stood at the counter, pouring coffee into two mugs. He turned at the sound of your foot steps. “Good morning, my darling love,” He greeted with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, actually. How did I get here?” You rubbed your eyes, squinting at him.

“You feel asleep in your office last night. I brought you here. You’re taking a day off.”

“Lokes, I can’t-”

“You most certainly can. I’ve already told everyone that you’re not to be disturbed. They were all quite understanding- it seems I wasn’t the only one to notice your lack of self care.”

You sighed, knowing there was no arguing with him. “I’m sorry you have to do all this. I’ve just been so busy lately I haven’t had time for much else.”

“You needn’t apologize, love, it’s alright.” Loki pulled you into his arms, his hold on you tight but secure. “I’m always happy to take care of you.”

He kissed you, and you finally let yourself relax. You realized just how much you’d missed this. You’d been so busy trying to solve everyone’s problems you’d left yourself no time for Loki. Your hand creeped up to tug lightly on his beautiful hair as he deepened the kiss, humming in contentment.

When you parted, you reached around him to grab one of the coffee mugs. He laughed as you attempted to maneuver yourself so you could drink, but still be held by him.

. . .

You were drawn into the bathroom by the sound of running water that was too loud to be the sink, but was definitely not the shower.

You peeked inside to see Loki crouching at the bathtub, carefully monitoring the gradually increasing water lever. You watched, smiling in realization that the hand which turned the hot and cold water knobs was smaller, daintier, and more prettily manicured than before.

“Hey there, pretty lady.” You joined Loki by the tub as she looked up at you, a flirtatious smile on her lips.

“Hello, darling. Care for a bath?”

“I can’t remember the last time I relaxed and took a bath,” You admitted. “Join me?”

Loki pressed her lips to yours in a chaste kiss. “As you wish.”

You undressed as she finished adjusting the water. She let out a low whistle as you exposed more of your skin, to which you responded by throwing your shirt at her face.

You slipped into the hot bath as Loki followed your lead and began stripping. She’d gotten it perfect, because of course she had. The water was perfectly warm without being scorching. She tucked herself behind you, pulling you close so you were practically resting in her lap.

Her hands crept up your arms and over your shoulders, gently squeezing as she went. You groaned appreciatively as she carefully kneaded the tense muscles, her lips trailing kisses in the wake of her hands.

“Loki,” You practically whimpered as she mouthed at your neck.

“Feel good, love?”

“Feels perfect. You’re perfect.”

She chuckled, wrapping her arms around your waist and leaning forward to rest her head on your shoulder. “And you are divine, and deserve the best things I and this universe can offer you. I’d pluck the stars from the sky if you asked me to.”

“I think I’ll pass on the giant balls of heat.”

Loki laughed at that, pinching your side. “You make it sound utterly unromantic when you put it like that,” She complained.

“I’m just saying; it’s a cute idea in theory, but a disaster in practice.” You protested, squirming away from her fingers.

When you were dried and dressed, Loki pulled you into your bedroom. She collapsed with you in tow, landing in a tangle of arms and legs.

You laughed, grabbing a lock of her hair. She always let it hang longer when she presented femininely, so tonight it cascaded down her back instead of pooling at the shoulders. Either way, it was gorgeous. “Can I braid your hair?” You asked.

“Oh, please do. You always make it look so pretty.” She quickly sat up and turned around so her back faced you.

You followed suit, leaning over to your bedside table to grab a hair brush. You ran it gently through her perfect inky curls, marveling at how it seemed to flow like water through your hands. Loki always liked when you did her hair, so you’d taught yourself to do every type of braid you could think of. You decided on a relaxed fishtail tonight, so you could have tendrils loose in front to frame her face.

You were silent as your worked, savoring Loki’s quiet hums and low groans of pleasure as your fingers brushed her scalp. She leaned into your touch, eyes slipping closed as you deftly wove strands of hair together.

“Done,” You announced, tying off the end.

Loki brought the braid over her shoulder to see. “I love it.” She declared, shifting so you could see her face.

You smiled, taking her hand in yours. “I love you,” You told her.

“I love you, too.” She pulled your gently down so you were lying on the bed again. You adjusted so you could lay your head on her shoulder.

“Thank you for taking care of me today.”

“It was my pleasure. I look forward to doing it more.”

You laughed, snuggling further into you. “Hopefully I’ll learn how to do it myself so you don’t need to.”

“Don’t think I won’t still pamper you.”

“I wouldn’t think that for a moment.” You kissed her gently, feeling her smile into it. “I know you too well.”

She laughed quietly, holding you tightly as you drifted off to sleep.

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki friggason #loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #loki odinson x reader #loki friggason x reader #marvel loki #loki marvel #marvel loki x reader

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strangestcase · 2 years

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i saw someone claim that tgs handled jekyll and hyde better because and i quote “Mattel is a corporation while tgs was made by a small team of people” and it’s like?? no?

Monster High handled Jekyll and Hyde better because they weren’t trying to be accurate or anything they just wanted to make funny characters out of it and they accidentally wrote the best system rep in children’s media you will ever get.

There isn’t a pretense of honoring or adapting the book because they weren’t adapting the book in the first place- Jackson and Holt are adaptations-with-a-fun-spin of a specific CONCEPT, and that concept is the popular culture reading of Jekyll and Hyde, being used as a metaphor for mixed heritage that children can understand.

You could argue that TGS is more authentic since it’s the creation of a Jekyll and Hyde fan, and not made with the purpose of selling fashion dolls and TV movies, but if we’re talking about “handling” alone, there’s this veneer of artificiality surrounding it. TGS portrays Jekyll and Hyde, like Mattel, as something that wasn’t present in the book, as something that resembles more a pop culture reading of the story- as a reinterpretation. The main three differences are:

Monster High goes a tad more wild with this “reinterpretation” angle (as it did with all other classic monsters!) and it feels less like an attempt at an adaptation than an attempt at remixing the story into something tweens would enjoy; in that sense, it takes better advantage of the medium

Jackson and Holt are better system rep than TGS Jekyll and Hyde for a number or reasons, one of them being that their creator, Garrett Sander, didn’t shy away from that angle. He saw Jackson and Holt as a [DID system] (he used an outdated term, but you get the idea) and deliberately wrote them as, ultimately, two parts of a whole that depend on each other to get by, even if they hate each other, or don’t collaborate. And there is supplementary material in which they learn to collaborate- it’s not an easy task, but at the end of the day they’re brothers, and they are stuck together. I didn’t get that bittersweet-realistic feeling with TGS. At all. It felt way more like what a singlet thinks a persecutor alter must be like, with the author claiming they aren’t writing Jekyll as a system even though it is evident they are.

Holt genuinely feels like what a benevolent -but still destructive and selfish- Mr. Hyde would be. This is in part because he is a teenager- of course he is, despite his flaws, trying to be a good person. TGS Hyde however feels like he’s enough of a bad person to be annoying and grating to talk to; but not enough of a bad person to be morally ambiguous in a way that feels satisfactory. TGS Hyde (aka Neko-chan) is supposed to be read as a “misunderstood monster” take on Mr. Hyde, which can be pulled off if you’re willing to settle on HOW and WHY he is misunderstood. This guy is not evil, just a jerk that never gets comeuppance for shit, and when he does, he’s in the right. I suppose that’s what the character would have wanted since that’s the point of being Hyde- but that fades away once you make Hyde his own person, and therefore, not Jekyll’s Free Of Consequence Meat Suit. Holt is a more satisfactory take on a good Mr. Hyde (with a Hyde-as-his-own-guy angle) because he generally isn’t a jerk. He IS a jerk sometimes but he is working on it! He is aware he has flaws and mental health issues that make that hard, and doesn’t want to make people he cares about upset. That’s basically his main character motivation… catch me reading too much into an underused fashion doll like character. Lol.

#doc talks #long post #rant #jekyll and hyde #monster high

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riathedreamer · 10 months

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So. “Birds of a Feather”. Been 1.5 year and I don’t think I will be returning. Even if I did, it’d probably just be for a chapter or a few, and that would still leave it mostly unfinished. I mean, never say never, but well.

For those who wants to know what you were gonna get, feel free to read the post below:

First of all: content warning for mentions of self-harm.

I guess the quick story is this: I am disabled and I have a history of self-harm, and both of these elements played a big role when planning this fic. A lot of the reason why it felt good writing it, it was somewhat of a journey for me myself.

What’s going on with Simmons’ wings? I mean, that’s where I left the fic. Basically, Simmons has been overgrooming himself out of anxiety. Basically, and this is sorta mentioned in the fic already, he comes from a family who cares too much about the presentation of their wings, and as the fandom has decided, his dad is a dick. So there’s always been a pressure to keep them *perfect* but with Simmons’ anxious tendencies, that spiraled. It’s been a problem for a while, but when Grif got mites, it triggered the bad habit to the point where Simmons is just. Pulling out feathers. Too many.

What Grif walked in on was basically the somewhat mangled wings. Simmons has managed to keep it hidden since his wings are slim and he has kept them closed when in their presence. It’s reached a point where Simmons has big problems flying – that’s why he’s denied the races with Grif (before their friendship went to shit).

From here, there was going to be an arc of Grif being in that weird “we-don’t-like-each-other-but-I-want-to-help”-phase they are all suffering from in Blood Gulch, and Simmons gets a bit better, though healing, mentally and physically here, takes a lot of time.

Then comes the tank accident.

Sticking to canon, Grif gets Simmons’ parts. Simmons has a hard time explaining why, and he would not present all of these arguments to Grif, but here we go. First of all – organs, no trouble, Grif needs them to survive, Simmons will turn cyborg for that, canon explanation. The wings – well, one, singularis. Grif has one fucked up, cannot be saved wing, and one that’s fine. No one feels comfortable removing his healthy wing while Grif is unconscious. You don’t take someone’s wing when they can’t agree. It’s a weird, unspoken thing, but it’s part of the why the solution is not to take the healthy wing and turn fully cyborg.

So, instead, Simmons takes the cyborg card. A, because canon feels. B, his wings are still very fucked up, and he wants to fly again, and he does not have the patience for the healing process (yep, that’s gonna turn into a metaphor for the mental health), and c) he’s reached a point where he wants to cut of his ties to his family, and, well, the cut goes to the wings here. Becoming a cyborg is to him, and improvement. And that means getting rid of his shitty wings – then why not use the one change to give Grif one of his shitty wings. Maybe it won’t work, maybe it will. But Grif is more fucked with only one wing.

Sarge is Sarge. No trying to reason with that.

So we have Simmons getting to fly again, though it takes a while to learn to fly with metal wings. Grif … tries? But the wing he received from Simmons is a problem. A, because it still has to heal from the damage Simmons did (Simmons likes to tell himself that Grif is more patient than him, that it will heal with him), but also because it’s simply a mismatch. It’s too tall, so he ends up dragging it across the ground a lot, and it’s not as large as his own wing. Basically, Red Team is down two flying soldiers while they try to figure their shit out.

Donut and Grif sorta bond when the soldier helps him deal with the mangled feathers. Simmons has a whole arc where he is scared of testing his metal wings because his brain keeps haunting him with the idea that the metal wings won’t carry him and that means he made the most stupid choice in the world and he’ll never fly again.

And s8 would wrap that arc up with Simmons truly flying for the first time to save Grif as Sidewinder, and Grif’s healing process coming to bad halt when Meta grabbed and pulled his wing in a bad way when they went over the edge.

Simmons gets better. Grif doesn’t really. He heals, yeah, but the wing still doesn’t suit him. And he looks weird as hell too. But so does the rest of his body, and Grif tells everyone he doesn’t care. Does he miss flying like he could before? Yeah. A lot. But that’s not something he can blame on Simmons’ stupid wing (he keeps stroking Simmons’ feathers, taking care of them more than his own wings, for stupid reasons he won’t admit).

So that is the key event for everything that comes after which is mainly to follow the main plot but with *wings* and these issues.

It would have a lot of scenes with Grif bonding with soldiers on Chorus who got their wings fucked up in the war.

And, you know, plenty of angst scenes. Which would include Felix messing with Simmons’ wings, and a scene of Grif falling but Simmons catching him just in time because that would need to happen am I right.

Anyway, this all sounds so melodramatic and sweet and angst, and it sure is, just remember the ton and ton of snark and funny banter and weirdness that can only belong in RvB.

#my rvb fic #birds of a feather

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unmitigatedsuperiority · 2 years

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drinks in the dark at the end of my road

Summary: Spencer Reid has always been defined by his mind. So, what is he supposed to do when he finds that he can't always trust it? Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid Word count: 2.0k Category: Angst Rating: T Warnings: Schizophrenia, Mental illness, Internalized ableism, Mention of Reid's sobriety Read it on AO3

This fic was written for @reidsbookclub's 1 year celebration. The prompt was "What am I supposed to do when I don’t even trust my own mind?"

Spencer Reid is losing his mind.

Not metaphorically. Not exaggeratedly. But genuinely, actually, losing his mind.

It started out small at first. Moments where Spencer would turn around in his chair, facing out into the bullpen, and ask, Did someone just call me? And no, no one called his name. He was just hearing things in the way that plenty of average people do. A very common and normal occurrence. Until, of course, it became more and more frequent.

Luke was the first one on the team to notice something was up. Spencer should’ve known the man would be astute. Since pointing out his clear PTSD after getting out of prison, it was undeniable that there was something between the two of them. Some kind of understanding. A bond of sorts. A gentle, unspoken thing. What Spencer didn’t count on, however, was just how observational Luke would continue to be. Even when Spencer wanted nothing more than to blend into the background. Because quietly whispering Shut up when the voices get a bit too loud or annoying doesn’t exactly constitute the picture of perfect mental health. Because suffering is even worse when it is witnessed.

Eventually, the voices became a sort of background noise to Spencer. He can’t even pinpoint the exact moment when they went from occasional weird nothings to something akin to a tiny radio always on and just out of earshot, but that’s exactly what happened. The voices their own kind of unsettling white noise. He thought with an eidetic memory he’d be able to remember exactly when the switch flipped. But he couldn’t. Not really.

What he does remember is the annoyance. The fear. The anger. The despair. The creeping, gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was wrong, but only he could see it. No one else understood. No one wanted to understand. They were all watching him, laughing at him behind his back. Spencer would get to work only to feel this deep unyielding sense of unease. Hairs prickling on the back of his neck. As though someone, or something, was watching him. Studying him. Waiting. And it only got better when he was alone in his apartment, but not by much.

See, not even his own apartment could offer the solace he was searching for. He would sit at his bed, stare at the artwork across the room for hours on end until it got to be unbearable. That painting of the forest hills in his bedroom that once soothed him had grown foreboding. Sentient, even. The only way he could steal a few precious hours of sleep at night was when the mirage of greens and yellows and browns were on the floor face down. A lot of the time, Spencer couldn’t sleep at all. But that wasn’t new. He always had trouble sleeping. Either way, he would put the painting back up in the mornings before work, for reasons he can’t quite recall. And the voices would ramp back up the second he’d leave. They always came back. Never a moment of peace, a moment of quiet. He can’t really hear the quiet at this point, anyway.

He vaguely recalls Luke reaching out once or twice. A hand on the shoulder, a concerned look, an are you good? But he didn’t trust it. Why would Luke be doing this? It didn’t make any sense. That pull he felt towards him? That was just a ruse, a trap. It’d be Alexa Lisbon all over again. Like he’d find himself naked in the football field if he made any wrong moves. It was too distracting. Spencer needed to focus on the tasks at hand—his job and whatever it was that’s been watching him.

Fear plagued him during these times. It was all-consuming. It still is. The fear of those around him, fear of whatever was watching him and why wouldn’t it just leave him alone please go away. The subconscious fear that he was turning into his mother. A brilliant mind derailed by petulant delusions. Perhaps whatever part of his mind he could still rely on is trying to protect him, shield him from his greatest fear coming true. Maybe that’s why he was losing so much time. But that didn’t stop the symptoms from happening. That didn’t stop the incident from occurring.

Spencer had been a lot more itchy-fingered on the job. Much more likely to result to aggressive tactics and paranoid thinking. But he could still do his job. He had to do his job. It was his lifeline in a sea of deceptive manipulators and invisible voices. He couldn’t understand why he was suddenly the subject of such intense surveillance and hatred. But the BAU? His work? That he understood perfectly. Maybe that’s why the team let it go on for so long…the structure was good for him. Or maybe they just didn’t want to accept it, either.

“We didn’t.”

Spencer starts, his heartrate picking up and echoing through his eardrums. He looks up at the shadowy figure, for once praying it’s real.

“Luke?”

A familiar face steps out of the dark corner and into view before pulling up a chair next to Spencer at the bar. The faint light from the overhead just barely illuminates his face, all greens and yellows and browns. But this time, Spencer doesn’t feel that same panic. That’s something at least. Luke glances at the bartender, raising a finger to ask for another drink. It’s then that Spencer notices the empty glass to his left.

“You’ve been here this whole time,” he notes, dejectedly.

“And you talk a lot more when there’s nobody to talk to, huh?” Luke asks, a sympathetic grin on his face. Something beneath Spencer’s ribs twists.

“I’m showing the symptoms, right?” Spencer lifts his club soda to his lips, relishing in the fizzy feeling on his tongue. Conversations and muted music and the smell of cheap beer assault his senses, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as much as he should right now. Why doesn’t he care?

Luke nods, solemn. “Yeah, buddy. You are.” He mumbles a quick thanks to the bartender as his drink gets replaced with a fresh glass of something. Scotch. Spencer so badly wishes he could drink right now. Drown it all out. But there’s no evidence that it would make anything better. And if there’s anything he can hold onto, it’s the NA chip that burns a hole in his wallet whenever he finds himself at the dive bar by his apartment. Where he finds himself now.

“How obvious is it?” Spencer asks, not quite wanting to hear the answer. Luke sighs.

“I mean, I could tell right away something was up. You kept looking over your shoulder, isolating yourself from the group, mumbling to yourself. Plus, I haven’t seen a genuine Spencer Reid smile in weeks.” Spencer makes a note and frowns, almost numb to the news. He takes another swig of his drink before looking Luke in the eyes and confessing to what he feels everyone already knows.

“I think I’m being followed.” Luke nods, calm in a way that makes Spencer want to punch him in the face and hug him at the same time. He settles for doing nothing. Nothing works. Nothing doesn’t hurt.

“You think?” Luke questions, shifting in his seat to face the other man. Spencer furrows his brow, running through the last few months in his head.

“I know,” Spencer affirms. Then, he shakes his head. “Maybe. I don’t know.” Luke hums noncommittally at this response. Spencer continues, his fingers clutching his glass. “It’s so…loud. Nothing drowns it out.”

“The voices?” Spencer nods. The two each take a sip of their respective drinks. Someone across the bar cheers as they land a bullseye in darts. Spencer can’t help but feel like the cheering is just another clever ruse. He can’t help but feel like they know.

“Do you remember what happened earlier? At the round table?” He prods. Spencer shivers, the memory rapidly fading from his mind. Some eidetic memory, he thinks. He scratches at the rundown wooden bar, desperately clinging to something tangible.

“Just that I was being threatened. That they knew. They all knew.” He looks up at Luke. “Including you.” Luke thins his lips, finger rubbing the rim of his glass as he stares into the copper abyss of liquid in it. He considers Spencer’s answer before speaking.

“You lashed out at your teammates. Implied they had been watching you all this time, observing you. Working for a secret part of the government they didn’t want you to know about.”

Spencer barks a wet laugh. “I sound just like my mother.” He takes another gulp before laughing again, a sob lodged in his throat, threatening to claw its way free. “Part of me believes it. That you—all of you—are out to get me.”

“I mean, I could tell you we aren’t, but I don’t think that’s what you need to hear,” Luke starts, hesitant. Spencer shakes his head in confirmation. “Now, I’m not going to tell you what to do from here. This is your life,” he treads lightly. “But this can’t be ignored any longer. I think you could really benefit by getting some help.” Spencer’s face screws up.

“Why, so they can drug me up and keep me quiet?” He spits, malicious, before blinking once. Twice. Heavily sighing at the ease in which he gave into what had to be delusions. It terrifies him that he can’t always differentiate between a delusion and reality. That he hasn’t been able to confidently tell the difference in a long time. It terrifies him even more that sometimes…he can’t even bring himself to care. “Sorry,” Spencer grumbles. The crowd of people behind him sound ominous. Knowing. Luke releases his glass to lean against the countertop, drumming his fingers along the edge.

“It’s okay. There’s a lot going on right now,” he comforts him. Spencer licks his lips, tense.

“What am I supposed to do when I don’t even trust my own mind?” Spencer whispers. Luke remains silent. It’s deafening. How does anyone go on knowing their mind, what makes them, them, is working against them? Spencer feels a split second of kinship with his mother. Shakes it off. “I think I need help,” he continues. “I don’t like feeling like this. But I just want everyone to stop looking at me.” The glass feels too hot in his hand, everything feels hot. His shirt itches, the sweat is all-consuming. Spencer looks up into the mirror behind the bar, studies his face, his eyes. His dead eyes. His dying eyes. This was all a trap, he’s dying, he’s—

“Spencer?” Luke calls, grabbing his attention. Spencer turns to face him. He pointedly attempts to ignore the venom brewing in the pit of his stomach at the sight of him and focuses instead on the gentle feeling, the familiar feeling. He’s not sure which emotion is winning out, though.

“Yeah?” Spencer cringes internally at how small his voice sounds. At how small he feels.

“I’m here for you,” Luke places a hand on his back, tentative. Spencer leans into the touch, determined to ignore everything screaming at him not to. Luke rubs small circles and Spencer sighs before speaking, determined.

“I know,” Spencer says. “Even when I don’t know. I know.”

“We’ll figure it out. You and me.”

“I hope so,” he replies, quiet. Spencer finishes the last of his club soda before motioning to Luke. The two men rise from their seats, Luke tossing some cash onto the counter as they leave. The voices, the delusions…they’re still there. Spencer can’t change that. But he can admit he needs help. He can lean on his friends. Get the help he needs while he’s in the right mind to consent to it. It’ll take time, but maybe, just maybe, he could be okay again someday. And Luke will be there right by his side every step of the way. That small part of him he struggles to listen to knows this to be true.

Luke takes his hand as they leave. Spencer grips it tightly. Desperate to hold onto this, whatever it is. Whatever it could be. Because Spencer Reid may be losing his mind, but that doesn’t mean he’s lost everything.

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