#ahh i'm scared out of my shit to post here

[bahja-blix]

😐💀 A Dumbass Appeared (Ask Edition) A post regarding Viv Stans (Part 2)

Before we begin I want to say that I will absolutely not be censoring the person in this for valid reasons. I'll however censor the people who are just regular visitors.

What brilliance unfolds in my ask box? They put themselves out there on purpose "because reason"... I guess?

Reminder This is the Internet, you put yourself out there, your out there forever and if you do something stupid or say something stupid, your idiocy might go viral enough where you get called out so don't expect people to cover you up when YOU did this To Yourself

When I changed my bio to say "Bored ASF, Ask a Goth" I didn't mean be a god damn loser and make up shit on purpose for Bait reasons.

Yes this is real and Yes these were sent by a Viv Stan and it's OBVIOUSLY Bait but I still wanted to review it just for fun because I was literally laughing my ass off and I ain't even high!! 🤣 that And the actual person was Serious about deleting their profile along with taking the time to remove one by one every like and post from their profile which is hilarious. I didn't even make a post at the time and they disappear Anyway 😂. So I had absolutely no option to respond regardless. Lol you didn't think I'd see that but I did LMAO. You took the time to send me this but couldn't take a couple seconds to block me right after so I don't see your profile disappear but I guess you're just that stupid. What stopped you from just deleting your account without going through lengths to type this shit up?

We start with Kona, a boot lickin Viv stan living in denial over the fact that their obviously a Viv Stan. I said I wasn't going to answer this but this is HORRIBLE 😂 How could I Not share!

I love how you literally sat here and took the time to go ""Anonymous"" on the first ask you sent me showing your name and profile only to turn around and send me Another ask and Then another begging to me down on your knees basically telling me to forget I saw your ass 🤣🤣🤣

Omfgfgfggg🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely applaud how you "went out of your way to ALL these critics" like your some kinda Big Dawg white knighting for Viv telling us to "Listen up" because God Damnit "This town ain't Big Enough for the two of us" only to completely disappear off the face of the earth because you knew I saw your ass and you got scared.

I'm assuming you saw my last post where I said "Stick it" when referring to someone else that didn't agree with the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community...so you took it to heart and used it in the ask!? Did my post offend you 🥺🥺🥺? Omg I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a boot licking Viv Stan... I truly am (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

So... you attack Showtoonz for no reason other than *Double Checks Notes* ahh here we go "Having valid opinions" fresh off the table *chef kiss excuse* lol

LMAO they really said "Ass takes" omg no wayyy 😂

I also applaud how you basically said that the entirety of the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community an "embarrassment to our democracy" lol where that come from? and that the best argument you can come up with is that "*ughhh* your all "cOnSeRvAtIvEs" like did you travel across time and space through the Internet, see my page, and pretend to get triggered over the fact that I'm p***tically balanced in every direction?? Open minded if you will!? What does critiquing a show have to do with what's going on outside in the world? You do realize a lot of these people critiquing Viv Are in fact Democrats (me included in that spectrum) that Were fans of Viv and don't agree with Viv because she messes shit up on purpose 😂

Love how your one of those people that's obviously too far on the edge who are an actual embarrassment to society because this is the shit you put out there along with the

"YoUr NoT oNe Of Us" argument because what else would you pull out of your ass like legit your literally the type of person that likes to sniff your own fucking farts... Geez

I can't stop laughing 🤣

"One of Us! One of Us! Gooble gobble, Gooble gobble, One of Us! One of Us!" Like I can't. We Dems ain't gonna bow down to you and kiss your ass like your some kind of King so you might as well get over it buttercup

Regarding the last one for Bait reasons you decided to bring janky brained Joe into this... What a legend! You really showed us Dems the middle finger and went "Fuck ALL of You" 😂 Hey pal I'm NGL, but all I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so into your own p***tical fart clouds so much because all that methane n shit will clog up your thinking.

"OMG I've been exposed by my own "Brilliance" in taking down these critics, please don't expose me"

W H E E Z E !!!

this last bits my favorite part

"*Clears throat* "If you disagree with me I'm going to "delete my account"

(Welp I guess I disagree with you :D, have a nice day ^^ Adios!! 🤣) Wait? You were actually Serious??? 🤣🤣🤣

"run to Twitter" with all my problems (because of course your one of those losers) and "bitch" to my two followers that "Will raise all hell" down onto those "Antis" who are so Mean and Negative where my post is sure to go viral enough to take down the entire critical community and reap their rights away from them"

Without any proof, but instead your tail tucked between your legs as you run and hide.

PA THETIC

Managed to get this on the way out. A Viv Stan in denial who's also a hypocrite. Oh but we "anti Viv Stan critics" have "ass takes" and "no valid criticism" You blindly support woomy... The same person who attacked multiple people in our communities for having valid opinions!

Fucking Cringe dude

#vivziepop #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivienne medrano #anti vivziepop #helluva boss #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #helluvaboss #hazbin #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel fandom #toxic fandom #toxic people #toxic fans #idc #dumbass shit #goth #asks #anon ask #anonymous #ask

[by-ego]

Call me evil but everyone talks about Asher in away where he doesn’t seem confrontational at all and that (from posts I’ve seen) isn’t protective of Baabe at all and that Baabe is more protective even though he’s a werewolf and they aren’t! So sweet soft werewolf boy flips a switch and turns scary deadly.

Also I really do feel like people sleep on Baabe!

AHH I love this request!! And I agree, Asher doesn't really seem protective of them in peoples posts, but in several of his adios, he actually is. For example the date-night-in where he chooses to stay in becuase of Quinn so Babe isn't put in any sort of danger. I littrely love him so much. So in my mind he is protective, just not possesive or jelous. And you're so right, people do sleep on Babe so much, like they are so underrated.

This is the first time I really write something like this, and english is not my first languge so excuse any mistakes.

I hope you enjoy!!

TW for this one; stalking, fighting, violance, blood, SA (very vauge) and it's kinda long

<3

It started with that guy just standing outside of their work when they ended and walked to their car. And then, he was there in the morning when Babe came in for work. Babe was telling Asher that they were a bit creeped out by it, but for all they knew, he could have been waiting for someone, but even Ash thought that was a bit far-fetched.

Then it escalated, he started following them through the parking lot. Then, he got in his own car, parked oddly close to theirs, and followed them. When they got closer to their apartment complex, the car still following them, they realised how odd it was. A gut feeling told them he was up to no good, so they called Ash. 

"Hey babe, what's up?" His cheery voice called through the phone. He was at David's place, planning some stuff for a pack meeting. They could hear the sound of glass against wood and an immediate curse following from the Alpha from the other side of the line, showing that David was there. Babe took a deep breath, one hand on the wheel, one hand holding the phone to their ear. "By the way, you're on speaker, just so you know" Asher adds before they could tell him the situation. But it didn’t matter, Babe trusted David a lot. "I think I'm being followed, you know the creepy guy I told you about from work, I think he is following me. I don't really know what to do. I don't want to drive home", their voice was shaky, scared due to the situation. "Drive to us," they could hear David's deeper voice, followed by "yeah, we'll wait for you here and you and we'll drive home later together” Asher's voice sent a feeling of relief through their body, and they turned their car around. 

Asher wasn’t as big or gloomy as David, but he was sure as hell not small. His attitude made him seem cheery and welcoming, but when he was standing on David's poarch, waiting to get his mate, his demeanour had changed drastically. Babe barely recognized their mate. On the other hand, he did work security, they just hadn’t seen him like this. Sure they had seen him punch some guy in the jaw once when he was drunk for slapping Babes ass, but he was drunk and still didn’t give off that overly protective aura. They knew he was protective, but Babe was a careful person, and for as long as they had been with Asher, they had successfully managed to stay out of danger or trouble of pretty much any sort. So by them never really needing to be protected, he didn’t really have to protect them. And he definitely wasn’t the jealous type, if someone flirted with his mate that was not his problem. Babe was smart, and witty, and always shut down the person with sassy comments. Unless they made Babe uncomfortable, then, he was more than willing to beat the shit out of them. 

Now that Babe was pulling up in the driveway of David and Angels house, Asher's usual inviting and comforting vibe was washed away. As soon as their car had stopped moving he walked up to the car and opened the door, offering them his hand, pulling them out of the car and close to his body. A harsh kiss crashed onto Babe's lips. The car that had followed them all the way here, crept along the street, but sped off when David started walking towards it. Babe let out a deep sigh of relief and rested their head against Asher's chest. His significantly bigger size used to piss them off since he would tease them about it by holding stuff over their head making them unable to reach it or easily picking them up when they were doing something and Asher wanted to cuddle. But now, right here, with his strong arms around them, it just felt safe. They looked up, and Asher smiled warmly. There the sweetness they knew him for was. They smiled tiredly, back at him, and then turned to thank David, and Asher. “You’re part of my pack, my family. We protected each other” David stated, offering them a comforting smile. “Look at me Babe” Asher said, and they looked up at him, “you are my mate. I would do anything for you, this was the least I could do. In reality I wanted to shift and rip that guy out of his car and give him a good beating. But my main priority is keeping you safe”. The statement shocked Babe  a little bit, but in all honesty, they even found it a bit attractive.   

Little did Babe know, this would just be the start.

For Babes and Asher's anniversary a year or so back, Ash had given Babe a pocket knife. He knew that Babe had a pocket knife that their grandpa had given them in their home country, but when they had moved to the US they had gotten it confiscated, and Asher knew that they always wanted a new one. So for their anniversary he had gotten them a new one. Asher had asked David, who also carries one, to help him pick one for them. After the incident with the man following them, they started carrying it daily. Plus, when they turned on their location, Asher got a notification. Just in case, they said, hoping that it wouldn’t be needed. It would.  

Maybe a week after, the incident was still lingering in the far back of their mind, but they didn’t really pay it much mind. The man hadn’t been seen since they had driven to Davids. No creeping around corners or anything, but Babe still felt a bit uneasy. Work flowed on like normal though, and life with Asher was nothing but great. He had very quickly gone back to being his cheery and easy self. They had mentioned it to a coworker, but they had never noticed the man, now or before. That gave Babe some comfort and soon their guard was back down, or at least not on high alert. Big mistake. 

Babes' phone vibrated, and they saw Asher's name on the display. Babe picked up and put the phone on speaker, alone in their office, no one would hear anything. Not that it mattered much, Asher had just called to ask when they would be coming home and what kind of take out they wanted. As they looked out of the mountains of paperwork on their desk, they informed him that they would be home late and to just order anything that was kosher and could be reheated later for when they came home. He huffed, but didn’t argue with them. As much as they wanted to just go home to their fiance and cuddle and eat something, they had to finish this. Ash knew that, and he was proud of his mate and how hardworking they are, even though he was also worried for them and scared that they would burn themself out. Little did Asher nor Babe know, that was not the reason Ash would have to worry for his mate today. 

When they, much later, and exhausted, start getting ready to go home, it was already dark outside. A gut feeling hit them, something felt incredibly wrong. Babes hand went down to their pocket, to the knife and their phone. Their hand wrapped around the handle of the knife. Babe tried taking deep breaths, hoping to not get themself worked up over a gut feeling. But they stepped out of their office boulding and onto the parking lot with a tight grip of the pocket knife, the blade ready to be pushed out if needed. Thoughts and anxiety were racing in their mind, faster than they could process. They wished Asher was here with them, they hated being alone late like this. Babe used to like the dark, they really did, but right now it was just adding to the fear and anxiety factor. But, they took a deep breath and started the walk to the other side of the parking lot where they had parked their car. “Why did I park my car so far away?” Babe thought, mentally scolding themself. They knew that was not going to help their situation one bit, but that was not going to stop their overactive mind. Then they heard footsteps behind them, following them. They whipped around, body burning with fear at who they saw.  

*Ping* Asher's eyes turned from the screen where Star trek was playing, and when he saw the notification his heart dropped. Babe had turned on their location. He knew they used it as a safety measure, but he wanted to make sure his mate was safe. Quicker than ever before he dialled their number, his fingers knowing the pattern even if he had it saved and could just call them through his contact list. One dial, two, three. “Ash, help” his fiance whimpered out his name, breath catching in their throat. He let out a growl, he knew what was happening. “Coming” he breathed out. The wolf inside him wanted out, wanted to protect his mate, he ran. Out of the apartment complex and right before his wolf ripped out he looked at Babes location. Still in the parking lot. He shifted, rage dripping in his blood and the need to protect his mate spurring him to run faster. Hate of anyone who dared to hurt his mate poisoned his bones. He had forgotten to lock their apartment, but that was currently the last thing on his mind. The only coherent thought in his brain was protecting his mate. 

The blade pushed out of the knife in Babe's hand. They know how to use it, a perk of growing up with older brothers. But even with the knowledge that Asher was on his way, and with the knife in their hand, they were scared and they knew the man could see that. He was more than double their size, the light of a streetlight behind him illuminating him with a ghostly light, cold eyes, calloused and rough hands and a sinister smile playing on his lips. After what felt like an eternity they turned around and ran, they dropped their bag on the grass, hoping to dampen the fall for their computer and valuables. Then they reprimanded themself for even caring about something like that in this situation. Their life was in danger, getting chased by some crazy stalker and they care about their bag. Babe wanted to laugh at themself. It was ridiculous. But, it kept their mind from collapsing into the lingering panic attack. They felt the atmosphere heat up, seemingly without a reason, it confused Babe considering the cool summer night. 

A howl, Asher. The sound ringed their ears. Relief spread through their body and in combination with the unexplainable heat, they slowed down, which turned out to be a mistake. The man had of course not paid much mind to the sound and grabbed them from behind, gripping their wrist preventing them from stabbing him with the knife. Babe struggles and in their struggle, they manage to graze the man with their knife causing him to rage at them. He grabbed the knife and threw it over the parking lot, ripping their blouse from their body, leaving them exposed. His hand clasped around Babes throat, cutting off their air flow. As they gasped for air, clawing with their nails on the man's wrist, he laughed. Now, that was his mistake. The sound of sadistic laughter and the chipping of air filled Asher's ears. His mate. Their scent, filled with fear and panic guided him to them. Lunging at the man, ripping him away from Babe, who landed on the hard concrete gasping for air. 

The man wasn’t small, but when he was pinned down by Ash's wolf he was no match. A deep, animalistic, guttural, terrifying growl escaped the shifter's mouth. He was decimeters away from sinking his teeth into this man's skull and ripping it from his body, but a tang of morality overrode his protective anger. Just as he was gonna shift back and punch the guys face in instead, fire erupted around them. “A fire elemental” he thought. Asher growled again and snapped his jaws close to the man's face, hoping to intimidate him, but when the fires got bigger he could hear his mate scream in pain as the flames grazed them and they scrambled away from the fires. The man took the moment and tried to flee, but the wolf's claws ripped the mans back bloody. The fire elemental screamed and fell, but not before setting Asher's fur on fire. The man, writhing in pain, was unable to control the fires that couldn't burn on concrete alone without the man, started dying down. Asher let out another howl, this one in pain and anger. But he shifted back to human form, ripping his burning sweatshirt from his body. Ash slowly stepped closer to the man, who had gotten up to his knees. Both of the empowered men stared at each other, rage in their eyes. The man tried getting up, but was immediately kicked to the ground by Asher's boot. “Don’t you fucking dare” he hissed between gritted teeth. His fist met with the man's face, over and over again. His jeans ripped as Ash's knees made contact with the concrete as he sat over the man, landing blow after blow to the man, knocking him out. The man had gotten in a few blows at first, trying to fight back, but the fire elemental had nothing on the raged shifter. 

“ASHER” his mate screeched. They ran up to him, trying to rip him from their attacker. “You’re gonna kill him” they cried, and he wanted to, God knows Asher wanted to kill the man. Right before Asher had gotten to the man he had seen how he ripped his mate's blouse off and how he had lifted them off the ground by their neck. How his Babe had gasped for air, scared, exposed and alone. But his hands rested at his side, taking a deep breath before he got up. And when he got a good look at Babe he wanted to take the knife they had picked up again, he wanted to rip it from their hands and carve the man's heart out. Their hair was a mess, bruises on their throat and almost fully bare upper body, burn marks on their legs and arms, their back, shoulder and cheek scraped up from landing on the concrete. Their eyes were glossy, and some tears had already left salty traces on their face. Babes chest was taking fast and shallow breaths, still clearly scared and now also worried for their mate. Asher quickly pulled his t-shirt off and put it on his fiance, letting them have a little bit of dignity back even though no one was there. Then the water works came, sulking and crying into his chest as he wrapped his arms around them. They winched in pain and closed their fists even harder. “Shhh, baby it’s okay, I’ve got you. No one will hurt you as long as I am here” he whispered. He patted over their tailored trousers to find that their phone was miraculously still there and he called Tank from their phone. A sigh of relief came from him when they told him Sam and they were home. “See you soon,” Asher said without further explanation and hung up. He picked his mate up, letting their head rest on his shoulder. Babe whimpered his name. “We’re gonna get you healed okay? You’re gonna be okay” he comforted. “It’s you I’m worried about” they mumbled into his neck. His heart sank, even in this state, they were worried about him. “I’ll be okay, I promise” he sighed. He was in pain sure, he had gotten some bad burnes and some punches, but nowhere near in how bad of a state they were. “Where are your car keys?” he asked, hoping he would not have to carry them to Sams, even though he definitely would if it came to that. “Bag, on the grass close to my car.” He just nodded and followed their scent trail. And sure enough, there Babe’s stuff was, safe and sound. He admired his mate's cleverness. He threw the bag over his shoulder and unlocked the car. Placing them in the passenger seat without hurting them was tricky, considering basically their whole body was scraped, some worse than others, but eventually he managed decently. Sitting down in the driver's seat he breathed out a deep sigh. He tried to stretch out his legs, but failed, considering he was bigger than babe and they had been the one driving the car before him. He let out a small laugh. “What?” babe asked as Asher chuckled. “After a fight like this, something so mundane as having to push back the seat so my legs fit can feel weird, I guess” Babe laughed too.  He loved hearing them laugh. His entire chest filled with warmth and he leaned over to place a gentle kiss on their lips, basically the only part that wasn’t hurt on them. Other than their beautiful eyes.        

Babe woke up in Asher's hoodie, the one with the Shaw security logo. In their own bed, with Asher's arms around them. Babe didn’t remember much after they fell asleep in the car, exhausted and finally feeling safe. Fragments of Sam's magic flowing through their body, body stitching itself back up. Moments of Tanks worried voice basically interrogating Asher about what happened. 

“You awake?” Asher's soft voice gently led them back to reality. “Mhm” they let out. His strong arms brought them closer to him. “I love you so fucking much Babe, I’m so damn sorry I didn’t get to you faster. I’m sorry this happened” his voice was steady, strong. Strong for them. But his eyes showed worry. And fear. Fear that they were scared of him, after what he did. But they just balled their fists up in his shirt and whispered, “I love you, you saved me.” Babe's voice showed true gratitude and their eyes glittered with love. He smiled. “Anything for my mate” “I was so scared” they said it like they just realised it. Asher nodded, his eyes sad, “and I was scared that man was going to hurt you” they continued. Asher's hand rested on their cheek, thumb moving over their lips. “You’re safe now, I’m never letting anyone hurt you again” he didn’t want to show how angry he still was. He pressed a gentle kiss to their lips. Babes' arms moved around his neck and deepened the kiss, desperate to feel him. His other hand found their hip and rested it there. He rested his forehead on theirs, eyes locked. Their lower lip trembled, like they wanted to cry again. “Let it out, cry if you want to,” he comforted, but they shook their head no. “I’m just happy we’re okay,” they mumbled. 

#protective Asher #redacted asher #redacted babe #redacted asmr #jewish babe #jewish reader #redacted david #redacted darlin #redacted sam #redacted angel #redacted shaw pack #redacted Sam #redacted tank

[21stcenturyschizoidfag]

OK SO. HERE IS.. avery 21stcenturyschizoidfags very silly impromptu mewtuals hunger games simulator thingulator post. this thing was fucking long i didnt realise maybe i'm just crazy and beautiful. will post the next bit after

AS A REMINDER HERE IS THE ROSTER.. i didnt really have any specific metric for who i added i just added who i thought would find this funny to be totally honest. and the caroline polacheks mole v azealia banks spoon thing is a reference to this i just find it really funny because i dont personally like caroline polacheks music also i ahve a facial mole like hers too. OK LETS BEGIN. BTW click on the images to see them better :)

da bloodbath

shaan being so scary like halloween time... ANA FUCKING DOWN LIKE STRAIGHT AWAY due to famed non-binary lesbian ally nicolas cage dracula in the movie renfield 2023... papa pavel and baby emilio working together ahh so cutes.. ram said im NOT starving in here. dee plans to FIGHT. everyone else gets the hell out of there

I FUCKING STRANGLED ISA TO DEATH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ann doing everyone a favor and scaring that mole out of here.. aviv and cassis working together awww so friendlys. Someone gave proxy bombs which is very scary dont trust him with those his icon is the joker for a reason

day one and fallen tributes

dee and pavel each get stuff from one of numerous stans worldwide. mia sneaks up on mr. flow3 while hes busy writing dracula flow 4.. mr cage dracula and my friend olive feeling adventurous. mariam gets craftyyy and ellie wellie is homesick for equestria.. scott is a feminist as expected and scare-ah lives to see another day

cassis doing some tom and jerry stuff to accy OKAYY.. carolines mole uses its connections to caroline polachek proper (its attached to her face -_-) to get UNFAIR support from a stan. Nobody is surprised. BIGENDER TEAMUP from me and shaan.. I dont know how xe can bear to be around me after i STRANGLED ISA. TO DEATH. The oomfs are going hunting.. and then proxy takes my son hunting. I SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON. & we mourn the loss of two souls. gone too soon.. gone too soon

night one

this broke my heart the fact that emilio is having trouble sleeping like EMILIOOO ): I LOVE YOU.. max doing everyone a favor by killing carolines mole BUT with the INCREDIBLY tragic loss of ELLIEEE.. mia and proxy chilling.. vi being an incredible chef and resourceful at that. is anyone surprised (smiles beautifully). the INSANE triple combo death of two incredible gay men and a beautiful and insane bigender. TRAGIC TRAGIC SHIT? Pavel spares the life of mr. flow3. Cassis has a little nap in a tree.. mariam having a mariam moment and ram REFUSING to allow it. mariam LIVES. ann like vi is very skilled in the kitchen and everyone claps and smiles. Me and that FUCKING spoon seem to have hit it off

day two and fallen tributes

emilio, accy & cassis are feeling adventurous asf.. me + olive + ram + sarah decide its time for food innit. AVIV PAVEL DEE AND MIA DIE. JUST LIKE THAT? THEY JUST DIE. THEY JSUT DIED? LIKE THAT. THEYRE DEAD NOW. LIKE BYE EVERYONE THEYRE JUST DEAD? i will mourn them. mariam and max are IN. THE TRENCHES. watch out please.. proxy and mr. flow3 are getting their battle tactics in

Rest in peace to these fucking legends. We lost so many in ONE FUCKING ROUND. so many incredible individuals just gone like that. Greyed out pavel kitten and slay sister callie is making me scream laughing. Scoot and paddington greyed out is like who are these two little scamps. Good lord. GOOD LORD.

night two

Ram is sick what the hell when did that happen. IM IN TEARS OVER MARIAM BEGGING ANOTHER PERSON TO KILL HER. LIKE GIRL I KNOW ITS THE HUNGER GAMES BUT IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW CAN YOU STOP? & LIKE ASKING MY SON TOO?? trenches. cassis sabotages THE SAD FROWNER scare-ah (maybe its for the best..) A spoon climbs a tree. i would love to see that. mr flow3 and ann also climb trees.. Olive is so focking cold. Dogboy bonding.. theyre giving proxy more fucking explosives i swear to g-d. OK accy looking at the night sky did make me a bit emotional because like he IS an alien.. is he homesick too? im so sorry. they took your ufo away from you to put you in these sick and twisted games..

TO BE CONTINUED..

#averyposting #sillies

[whomadewaffles]

Some pjhazel incorrect quotes I've been saving for awhile...I feel like with how starved for content shippers of these two are right now, keeping these to myself would be a crime. I'm SO sorry for not citing sources. I wasn’t originally planning to post these, and finding them retroactively is like.. impossible.

Pjhazel is the focus, but others are included as side characters. So if you don't ship them, then just scroll on by and go about your day, please!

Also, for a heads up that will apply to all 3 parts: expect bad language and sex references cos obviously.

Oh, and this is part 1 of 3, even if it is the longest part

Long post under the cut!

_______

Josie: You slept with Hazel? OUR Hazel? Callahan??

Pj: I didn't know what else to do! She had those big, sad eyes. I couldn't help it.

Josie: ...sure, sounds like you had no other choice.

--------

Pj: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or sarcastic and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

--------

Hazel, jumping out of pj's closet: BOO!

Pj:

Hazel:

Pj:

Hazel: *makes the patented Hazel callahan sad face*

Pj: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!

------

Hazel: TERRIBLE NEWS!

Pj: Did you disarm the bomb?

Hazel: If I disarmed it, would I come running in here and shout, TERRIBLE NEWS!?

------

Pj: hazel, you are such a nerdy little dork, you can't pull any girl.

Hazel * has been crushing on her since they met*: okay. that's fine.

*2 years later*

Hazel: so what did you say? Repeat that again.

Pj: 🤡

--------

Pj: It has come to my attention, that I have some unresolved feelings or resentment toward my father.

Therapist: a little late, but I’m happy you’ve taken this first step. Now you can start looking to overcome that.

Pj: Already done. I’ve found a full proof solution…I’m going to ignore it. Completely and utterly.

Pj: just like my dad did me.

--------

Pj: the secret to being impulsive successfully is being faster than the consequences of your actions. you can't let them catch you or its all over

Annie: is that why everytime Hazel even looks at you since you kissed her you run away like a little bitch?

-------

Pj *trying everything she can to kiss hazel again without just admitting she likes her like a normal healthy person*: Hey, are you aware that kissing reduces stress?

Hazel: Okay.

Pj:

Hazel:

Pj: Hey, you look stressed. Like, really stressed. Just wanted to let you know.

--------

Hazel: It’s not that I don’t trust pj, I just... don’t trust her impulse control

-------

Hazel: None of you might remember this, but there was a time when PJ considered herself out of my league.

Hazel: Oh, how the mighty have fallen (into my arms)

------

Hazel *trying to teach her girlfriend how to take better notes in class*: to make it easier, you should always highlight the important things

*later*

Annie: Hazel, why are you covered in different colored highlighter?

Hazel: don't ask

Pj: she's important! okay!?

-------

Hazel: I'm freaking out, How do I make our first date really romantic?

Stella-Rebecca: Be mysterious.

Hazel: Okay!

*later, while on a date with pj* 

Pj: So where are we going?

Hazel: None of your fucking business.

Pj *is shocked and a little turned on* 😳

-------

Pj: Yeah, I lost the ability to give a shit at a very young age. It was a very tragic accident. Never recovered

------

Pj: *on the phone with josie* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.

Josie: You’re pulling Oreos apart and shaving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you?

Pj: Maybe.

-----

Pj: I love you.

Hazel: I thought I annoyed you?

Pj: You do annoy me. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating moment with you.

--------

Pj: Im tired

Hazel: You should come to the gym with me! We could make it a date and exercising gives you energy!

Pj: Yeah, the same energy you need to go to the gym

Pj: Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

------

Pj *texting*: I'm showering

Hazel *texting back*: oh nice, send a pic of you're hair in a giant spike lmao!

--------

Pj: rest assured, rational me and impulsive me are having a fucking smackdown 24/7 100% of the time

-----

Hazel: Please, this is the 4th time its happened, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Pj: I'm sorry is this OUR broken nose? Stay out of it.

------

Pj: I asked Hazel out.

Britney: Oh, I’m sorry.

Pj: Why?

Brittney: Well, I assume she said no.

Pj: No, she said yes.

Brittney: Really? Then I’m sorry for her.

-------

Pj: Shout out to my girlfriend who just randomly decided to eat my chapstick.

Hazel: WHY WOULD THEY MAKE IT COTTON-CANDY FLAVORED IF IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE EATEN?!

--------

Pj: You're annoying.

Hazel *in her head*: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

------

Pj: I win

Hazel: I am literally pinning you down

Pj: I know

-----

Hazel: So sorry for making you fall in love with me because of my autistic swag and kissable lips.

--------

Pj: *Drinking a bottle of water*

Josie: Since when do you carry water? I've known you my whole life and you never do that.

Pj: Hazel freaked out ‘cause I told her I never drink water

Pj: Now she’s making me drink 8 glasses a day

Pj: It’s like, there’s water in soda, coffee, the little pools of water on pizza…

Isabel: …That’s grease

Pj: Well it’s wet isn’t it!

-------

Hazel: You're in love with me?

Pj: Unless you're not in love with me. Then I take it back, because, you know... I'm cool.

-------

Pj: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Hazel *singing*: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Pj *happy sigh*: Yeah, you're my dork.

--------

Pj: I'm a very good liar.

Josie: Yesterday, I asked if you were missing  hazel while she was gone, and you said "no" right before bursting into tears.

--------

#pjhazel #bottoms 2023 #pj bottoms #hazel callahan #incorrect quotes #hope you enjoy and hope this feels in-character for them! #us pjhazel shippers are starving so gotta help how I can! #part 2 will be posted tomorrow in the afternoon hopefully

[fatuismooches]

SLIDES SHADES ON, KICKS DOOR DOWN AND FALL ONTO YOUR FLOOR, GUESS WHOS BACKKK!;!!;

🌕💗!!!!

BUT AHHHHHFHDH LATIN DOTTORE STILL MAKJNG ME LOSE MY SHIT

and so many of the other posts that i was binginf just now too oh em GEEEEEEE, specifically fragile/coma reader comjng back to sumeru and all that AHHFHEHHHH

ANF ALSO I CANT BELIEVE U REMEMBERED ABT MT EXAMS AND STUFF 😭💗 i got my results recently!! A* EEEKFK back on the grind tho unfortunately

also rlly rlly thinking bout dottore randomly giving fragile reader academic/research-y things to do cus he knows they crave and miss the days where they could get on wit their stuff YKKK??

also omg sometimes i’m scared to like send any kind of brainrot in cus what if someone else has said a similar thing AND AHHDHH

but yea also thinkjng bout tutor zandik + akademiya reader MNNNFFNF

ALSO ZANDIK X POET READER i feel like zandik from like the akademiya days wojld be all poetry’s stupid 🫤 but like one day findinf readers lil poetry notebook whilst tryna find his own research in their dorm and flipping through and finding it littered with references to cerulean blue locks and vermillion irises..and maybe just maybe, poetry isn’t so bad after all

smooches i’ve missed bombarding ur inbox

SMOOCHESSSS :( <33333

🌕 ANONNNN AHHH IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm so glad you've been doing well, congrats on your exams!! I'm glad your hard work paid off, such a scholar 😍 But you better not overwork yourself that hard again! ALSO. DON'T BE AFRAID TO SEND ANYTHING IN!! I LOVE!! hearing what you have to say okay?? Ily 🌕 anon!! PLEASE BOMBARD MY INBOX. I LOVE IT.

HAHAHA it seems like a ton of Dottore brainrot has been infiltrating your brain huh 😅 Dottie speaking Latin really revolutionized ours brains hngg bUT WAIT I LOVE YOUR IDEA. THAT'S SO CUTE. Oh my gosh newdndow how do I phrase this. He knows you still have a love of knowledge and other things you used to be so into :( But nowadays it's died down since you don't think you're cut out for that stuff anymore, even though you miss it. Dottore being the one who respects and acknowledges your intelligence the most would not let you think that way! He'll let you indulge in as much knowledge as you want to. It's far better here anyway, with no restrictions. He'll even let you sit on his lap while you flip through his notes and try to analyze them. Okay and bear with me, this sounds strange but he would make up fake scenarios/brain teasers for you, and these would be PAGES long and you'd have to figure out the answer and report back to him 😭

Also made me think of this angsty af scenario of the day you officially got kicked out from the Akademiya... The sages and profs were so unsympathetic with your condition despite multiple proofs and notes of it being real... no matter how much you begged and sobbed, they refused to accommodate you and revoked your position in the school. Yes, it could be absolutely freaking brutal in there with the workload of assignments and all, on top of your illness too, but you still had dreams. Dreams that you were working so, so hard to pursue... you were trying your best, why couldn't they work with you? You go back to your room to try and pack since they want you out but your stuff just ends up strewn on the floor while you cry. When Zandik comes back you don't even bother hiding your tears or the reason behind them. You can see he's absolutely furious and about to let pure foulness leave his mouth but you interrupt him with a few simple words - "Zandik, just hold me, please." You don't want to hear any words at this moment, because you know nothing will be alright, but at least his touch grounds whatever is left of you to this world.

Okay moving on... Nah I need tutor Zandik. If he saw my dumb ahh while doing math... gone 😭 HEHE I love this trope... i can imagine initially being very serious about trying to learn. But then their tutor is this cutie? Welp, all of that going down the drain. Though, I think it would be pretty sweet if reader ends up learning anyway. Because the professor's way of teaching is so outdated or simply doesn't work for you but somehow when Zandik explains it you're like ?? oh! That's so much simpler! Another possibility - reader purposely flunking so they can get assigned to Zandik for tutoring 🤭 Bro would be flabbergasted that you're wasting both his and your time... because you thought he was... c-cute? Disgusting.

YEAAAA I ADORE DOT AND POET READER I THINK IT'S SOOO ROMANTIC 😭❤️ lmao yea that man would think poetry/non-academic writing is sooo boring like why would you even waste your time on that 😒 You gave up LONG ago trying to convince him why you love it so much but all of a sudden he becomes a teensy more receptive to it... i wonder why? Totally not because he freaking read every single one of your poems, from the serious to silly ones, most definitely not because he found one named after him with a bunch of sweet references... he doesn't care but they were not that bad... he guesses.

#smooches talks #🌕 anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #in my head i call you “moonie anon” 😭😭❤️ #AHHHHWDEDE U INSPIRED SO MUCH BRAINROT ILYYYY #ur dottore brainrots r always so good i love them

[sunnydayroleplay]

Ahh could we get a coulrophobic sunshine x Jack scenario? I hate clowns but Jack is such a comfort character for me 😭😭💕💕💕

Sorry I got to this so late! Drawing them stripper boys is a lot of work! Will post those on my art account! @feralhalfnhalfcreamer

Thanks for such the cute idea, I didn't really like clowns before Jack, but Jack is just a huge comfort to me now. That said, let's write it! Contents Inside: Coulrophobic Sunshine, Some mentions of scream/panic, otherwise very wholesome and sfw.

Just because this is SFW Content, does not mean minors should interact with this post, and this game as it is an 18+ community only. For SFW/Non-18+ Related content/artwork, go follow my non-roleplay account(s) mentioned above. ___________________________________________________________

Jack goes through that T.V screen of yours was absolutely horrifying, no doubt about it.

But seeing that he was a tall blue hair ghost clown as well?

Even more horrifying.

Poor thing, you were just in the corner screaming for dear life while Jack kept trying to calm you down.

Which only made you scream more.

After countless days of 'off and on' sleep, you tried your best to rationalize.

He hasn't hurt you the entire time he's been here.

All Jack ever has done was try to calm you down when you went on one of your tangent panics.

He's cleaned up your house, and wonderfully at that.

He's even made you breakfast!

Who doesn't love a good homemade pancake with delicious fruits and sticky syrup?

Jack's been trying his best to take his time with you.

You can tell from the way he approaches you slowly and refrains from sudden movement, like if you were approaching the neighborhood stray to pet it.

Slowly but surely, you decide to reach out to him for the first time.

As he's cooking your breakfast one morning per usual, you stand next to him and watch the magic happen.

Jack takes notice and side eyes you.

A small smile crept from his lips for a quick second before he put his attention on not burning the cake.

When he finishes, he hands you the plate of flap-jacks.

You tell him to sit next to you, and he obliges.

He slowly pulls up a chair and scoots in beside you, hands on the table and with a soft gaze.

You couldn't help but smile back, he was so sweet.

You felt bad, but he could understand.

I mean he came out of nowhere, and how was he supposed to know you were afraid of clowns?

No hard feelings at all!

You look at him and manage to mutter a good morning to him.

"Morning! H-How are you? Are you alright?"

His tone was energetic and excited.

This would be the first time you ever talked together normally.

He slowed himself down because he didn't wanna scare you off as he just began to make progress.

"I'm alright, thank you..how are you?"

And with that, the two of you began to make conversation. It was rather nice.

You got to learn about Jack a bit more, other than the fact he was a mysterious clown that can come out of screens.

Jack got to get to know you better, and he got you to trust him just a bit more.

That's all he ever wanted, for his sunshine to not be afraid of him.

You appreciated that he took his time with you, and that he worked alongside instead of pushing.

Ever since Ian, it was really needed.

It was perfectly timed almost.

Probably a coincidence though, right?

As a few months passed by, your relationship grew with Jack in the best way possible.

You guys would talk about the most random shit together.

You'd bake goods together, cook something up for dinner.

You let him sleep beside you instead of the couch.

And soon enough, it got more personal.

Sentimental cuddle hours..

Bubbly bubble baths..

And some even more personal things in bed~

And when it came to the question in mind:

"Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"

You couldn't be happier.

You lunged into his arms and he picked you off your feet.

He showered your beautiful face with as much love as possible. The two of you couldn't be in anymore joy than this.

Jack finally earned your trust, and earned the love and devotion you wanted, deserved.

You finally earned someone who loves you and wouldn't hurt you for the world.

#jacktor #sdj jack #sdj jacktor #sdj joseph #sunny day jack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #swwsdj #sunny day jack roleplay #sunny day jack joseph #sunnydayjack #sdj

[idk-kyro]

jjba oneshots

minors dni.

these are all of my oneshots posted originally in ao3 under the name @.slashyer (without the period, of course.)

Yoshikage Kira/Reader (Male Reader, minors DO NOT read.)

You stared at the wall. Your dick was honestly just bugging you right now, you were horny. Very horny. So, you decided to lean back in your work chair and play with yourself. It's not like nobody else at work didn't do it. Heck, the person next to you was doing it right now. You sighed and undid your work pants, sliding them down slightly and pulling your dick out. You lightly drag your thumb over to the slit, which was already leaking some pre-cum. You groaned as you slid your foreskin down and back up, you massaged your dick until it started to twitch. Then, the unfortunate happened and you got tapped on the shoulder. Your heart raced rapidly and you looked back, hoping it was anybody BUT your boss. He'd fire you for sure.

But... it was Kira? Oh, shit... Your face heaved into a deep red, during the time that Kira had started working there, you'd have fantasies of him.. A lot. Most of them were erotic, he raised an eyebrow and looked down at your dick. He cleared his throat. "I was told that you weren't busy but.. I suppose you are. I needed some help getting some documents from the boss but..." He cleared his throat again and leaned over your shoulder, whispering in your ear. "There are some things that are more important than work, at the moment..." He eyed your hands and licked his lips. He kneeled down and cleared his throat. He licked his lips and stuck his tongue out, licking your hot, red tip.

"Hnng... what are you...? What are you doin- ahh.." He wrapped his lips around your length and started sucking softly, giving tiny kitten licks and nipping you here and there. He started pumping you rapidly, you were going to admit, you did enjoy it. But why so suddenly? You gripped Kira's hair with one hand and pushed him closer with the other. "Sh-Shit..." You threw your head back and closed your eyes, you were sweating and your cheeks were a flushed red. Yoshikage started bobbing his head up and down, eliciting a moan from you. "Ah..! Are you- sure we should- ah... be doing this in public...?" You started to slowly thrust your hips forwards, you didn't care anymore. The guy of your dreams was giving you a blowjob and you were going to make the most of it. "It doesn't matter, really. I don't care, either." He held your hand and put two fingers in his mouth, sucking them. His other hand was busy pumping you, so the only thing you could do was hold his hand and help him pump you.

You felt your cock twitch slightly, then again, then it started twitching a huge amount. "Hnnng... ah..." You groaned, trying to get him to pump faster, as you were close to your release. He shoved his mouth on you, and started sucking you off again. You pulled his hair and he moaned, the vibrations from it caused your cock to twitch again, you were so close... "Ah... K-ira... I'm so close... keep sucking..." He bobbed his head up and down faster, you started thrusting your hips forwards, you couldn't take it anymore. "Ah...." You released directly into Kira's mouth, he swallowed the cum and he started to massage your hands. "Your hands are beautiful... I think they could be put to more use..." He stood up and pat your head, walking away back into the Boss' office. You sighed and grabbed some tissues, wiping off the excess cum on his legs. You shoved your cock back into your pants, and you got back to working.

Jotaro Kujo/Reader (Female Reader)

---

You threw yourself back into your shared bed, Jotaro was reading his typical book. You turned the TV on but turned the volume down so that Jotaro could enjoy his book. You were tired. You had barely gotten any sleep because Jolyne was scared and you needed to stay in her room, but you were happy because you were here, with Jotaro, laying down. He reached down for your hand and interlocked his fingers. "You're upset." You pursed your lips and sighed. "I'm sorry.. I haven't been feeling very good lately." He sighed and put his book down, taking his reading glasses off. "What's wrong." That sounded more of a "Tell me what the hell's bothering you and I'll take care of it" than a normal "What's wrong?" But you didn't care. "Well.. I got little to no sleep last night and I've just had little no motivation..." You sighed and sat up.

Jotaro groaned and sat himself next to you, pulling him up on his lap, his arms were wrapped around you. "I'll make you feel better, don't worry. Okay?" You blushed at the sudden interaction and nodded. He turned the the TV off and laid himself down, you were on top of him. He took his hat off and placed it on the nightstand. He started to pat your back and caress it. He nodded a small tune to keep you distracted, and you could feel yourself start to fall asleep. "I love you." He whispered into your ear. He snuggled himself deep into your neck and his breath was hot. "I'll always love you, no matter what, okay?" Your hands interlocked again and you stared into his eyes, giving him a small peck. "I'll always love you too, Jojo.." He blushed and looked away, pulling his non-existent hat down. "Yeah, yeah..." He grunted. He pulled you in closer and kissed your cheek. You drifted off to sleep soon after.

Caesar Zeppeli/Reader (Female Reader)

---

You dropped down on the grass. "Fuck..." You groaned and covered your face. You were TIRED. You look up at the stars and play with the grass next to you. Suddenly, a form sits down next to you. "What do you want, Caesar?" You cover your face again in pain. Your arms and hands were sore, and Hamon training just tired you out today. "Hey, hey. Are you okay, bellisima?" You were just so sick of his voice... his hot voice... his- no, stop. You took your hands off of your face and stared up into the stars.

"No. No, I'm not. I fucking hate this fucking training and I'm just so over it. I'm exhausted." He nods in understanding then sighs, pulling you in for a hug. He plays with your hair and sighs again. "I know, it is frustrating to have to be tired every day because of a deal Jojo made... but I will be there for you, okay?" You blush at the touch, and hug him back, playing with his hair.

Soft. His hair is extremely soft and fragrant. You move the hair out of his eyes and smile. "Okay.." He smiles back and gives you a soft kiss on the lips. He sighs and places you on his chest. "I never learnt any constellations." He spoke up, you could smell his minty breath. "Really? Well, I'm a big fan of constellations. I'll teach you them. How does that sound?" His eyes glistened and he nodded shortly after. He held onto your back and caressed your face. "Do you see those stars right there?" You pointed to an array of stars. "Do you see how bright they are? That's Orion. They are one of the brightest stars." He hummed and pressed his face against your neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, Caesar." You kissed his lips softly and laied your head on his chest for the rest of the night.

Jotaro Kujo/Reader (Female Reader, minors DO NOT read.)

---

Jotaro was cuddling with you. His arms were wrapped around you and it felt like heaven... you nuzzled closer into his neck and he embraced you closer. Suddenly, you feel something poking your ass. You look behind you and see... Jotaro's clothed dick. You push yourself against it as he shudders. "We can't... Jolyne's home..." He pulls you back up and look at him with disappointment. "Then just... I don't know... call Josuke to come pick her up." He sighs and gets up, heading for the phone. He dials Josuke's home phone number.   

"HEY NEPHEWWWW!!!!! WHADYA NEED??"   

You chuckle, Josuke is so loud and it makes you like him as a family member more.   

"Come pick Jolyne up, now."   

"W-WHA??"   

Jotaro hangs up and there's already a knock at the door. Josuke was already here? He let Jolyne go and he hurriedly ran in the room and locked the door, dimming the lights. His erection was still noticeable. "You ready, Jojo?" His nickname made him blush in embarrassment. "Hm." He hummed and laid next to you, bringing you in for a hard kiss. Your teeth awkwardly clinked together and he re positioned himself. He brought you back in a hard, long, kiss. When he separated, a long string of saliva connected you both. He ran his hand up your shirt and fondled with your breasts underneath your bra. He opened your bra and took your shirt off. He took one breast in his hand and fondled it, grabbing the other in his mouth. He licked them and nibbled them, causing you to elicit a moan. "Ah..."

You grabbed his hat and threw it to the side, as he did with your own clothing. You pulled his shirt off, admiring his muscles. You peppered his neck in kisses and bite marks, making him groan on your breast. When he was done with one, he went to another. His erection pressed between your thighs, you wanted him, and he wanted you.    He saw your growing arousal, and he bit your neck. He then pulled on the waistband of your pants and pulled them down. He licked his lips and stared at you in awe. "Damn... you're already so wet..." He put a finger on your clit and massaged it, your face burned red. He slowly inserted a finger inside of you and curled it. "Ah! J-otaro!" He pulled you into another deep kiss, tongues intertwining with each other. He pulls away and inserts another finger. "Aah.."

You feel your clit tighten on his finger. He pulls his fingers out and straddles you, pulling his pants halfway down. He aligns himself with your clit, teasing you by rubbing his tip with your pre-cum. He slowly inserts himself inside of you, and his pace got faster, the only thing that could be heard were the slapping of skin and the moans of the both of you. "Hnnng~ Ah- ah ah...!" He stopped for a second and leaned into your neck, biting it and sucking on it. He started to pound into you harder, occasionally stopping to catch his breath. His cock finally started to twitch, he leaned into you and groaned. "Please... cum for me..." You whimpered and came with him, his hot liquid spilling out of you. You moan at the sensation as he falls down beside you.

"I love you so much..."

Jolyne Cujoh and Reader (Female Reader, reader is Jolyne's mom.)

---

Jolyne sobbed into her pillow. She was done with her father not being there for her, for not telling her mother about his stand, and his encounter with Pucchi. There was a knock at the door. She wiped her tears away and sighed deeply. "Come in!" She spoke up, pretending to scroll on her phone. "Is everything okay, Jojo? I heard some noises and I decided to check in." You close the door and walk over to Jolyne's bed. "Your father is-"

"He's not my fucking father and he doesn't deserve to be called that!" You stop talking. "He lied to us! He said he loved you, yet he divorced you! Just for his stupid fish! That bastard doesn't deserve to come back here!" You clear your throat and place a hand on Jolyne's shoulder. "I know. But I still love him." Jolyne's eyes widened and she looked annoyed and angry. "How the hell could you love that bastard after he lied to you?!" You sighed and sat on her bed. "Jojo, love is strange. It has many variations as a violin concerto. Your papa is brilliant and fascinating, he can charm the birds off a tree. I didn't think not telling me was a lie- I thought it was fear, protecting me from harm. Protecting us from harm. He was afraid... afraid of what tomorrow may bring. Maybe because he saw how his mother suffered long ago. I don't know. When you get older, you get more frightened." Jolyne sighed and closed her eyes, throwing herself back on her bed.

"Thanks, Ma. You helped. A lot." You smiled and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. "Remember Jolyne, your Papa loves you a lot. Okay?" She smiled and nodded, "Okay. Thanks a lot, still."

---

Joseph Joestar/Reader (Female Reader, minors do not read. CW: slight bondage? this one is extra long.)

Joseph laid himself next to you. Your training today was rough, and you were heavily exhausted. "You doin' okay?" Joseph's loud voice boomed throughout the room. "Yeah, nothing too serious, just feeling really tired is all." You turned to face him. "How are you doing? Are you anxious about the Piller men?" Joseph shrugged. "Nah, not really. I could beat those guys jut by looking at them now." You smiled. Joseph adjusted himself, turning over to look at you. "I love you." You smiled widely. "I love you more, Jojo."

He was on you in an instant. "WH-WHA?!" You gasped loudly. Your eyes glanced over at the door's lock, of course, it was locked. He was planning this. And really, you didn't mind. "What? You said you loved me, didn't you? I want you to fucking prove it." He grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head, opening the drawer and pulling some rope out of it.

He was quick to tie the rope around your wrist, he's definitely been practicing this for a good while. "Before we continue, I want to make sure if you're alright with this. Are you?" You nodded swiftly which he smiled to. He leaned in for a soft, but intense kiss. You gasped, giving his tongue a free invitation to explore your mouth. "Mm.." Your tongues engaged in a fierce battle, neither of them wanting to give up. Joseph seperated you both to take a breath.

He played with the hem of your shirt, starting to pull it up over your head. He encountered a problem. How was he supposed to take your shirt off through the rope? He sighed in idiocy as he simply ripped the shirt. "Sorry, Darling. I'll buy you another one later." He stuffed two fingers in your mouth to keep you occupied while he removed your bra and pants. His erection throbbed through his own pants, and he began to unbuckle his belt, pulling his pants halfway down. He took his fingers out of your mouth and started to tease your now wet clit. "Good girl, already so wet for me."

You tried to let yourself free from the rope, only to leave yourself in humilation. He rutted his erected cock against your pussy, making you tremble. He pulled his cock out ready to fuck you intensely. "I see how badly you want my cock... and I'm going to need you to beg for it." He smirked. "...Jojo... please." Your cheeks went dark red. "Please what, hm? I can't do whatever you want me to do if you don't tell me what you want." You looked away from him, then to him. His cock twitched beneath you, you just couldn't take it anymore. "Please, Jojo! I want you to fuck me until I can't walk! Fill me up, please!"

He smirked and aligned himself with your entrance, pushing inside you slowly. You whimpered and tried lowering yourself down. He deepened inside you, starting to thrust rapidly. The room started to echo with your loud groans and slaps of your skin. Your nails dug into the rope as your thighs started shaking. You were so close, and you could tell that Joseph was too. You bit your lips as you let yourself cum on his cock, his release not long after yours. You panted heavily as he fell to the side of you. "We should do this more often."

Josuke Higashikata/Reader (CW: house burning down? female reader.)

---

How did it even begin?

Josuke, your boyfriend of 4 months decided that he should cook with no prior experience, thus leading to half of the kitchen burning down. It went something like this:

"Josuke, are you sure you should be touching the stove without any... you know.. actual adults around?" Your boyfriend scoffed at this so very hurtful insult.

"Very funny.. you do realize I HAVE cooked before, right? It was a masterpiece! Trust me, babe, I got this."

You softly sighed, not even caring much anymore. "Just.. don't burn your mom's house down.. I'll be in the living room if you so DESPERATELY need me." You walked over to the living room, looking at the huge mess scattered on the floor.

You decided it was your responsibility to clean it all up while your boyfriend was in the kitchen doing God knows what. You started with the laundry, folding it neatly on the couch. 

You then occupied yourself with cleaning up the junk food wrappers on the floor. But you heard a loud "oh no" from the kitchen. You almost immediately ran to the kitchen, just to see...

"Oh my fucking..." 

The stove? Caught on fire. The curtains in the kitchen? Caught on fire. The new pair of kitchen utensils you bought for Tomoko? ON FIRE.

"Josuke! What are you doing, just standing there!? Have you called the fire department yet!?" Josuke nodded frantically. "Y-Yes, I have!" You dug your nails into your scalp and groaned. Running over to the sink, you grabbed a glass of water and poured on the fire, only making it grow. "Fuck, Josuke! I told you not to cook!"

"I know," He sniffed. Was he crying? "I know... I'm sorry, (Y/N)." You cleared your throat, trying to show some signs of empathy. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Josuke. I'll make it up to you later, but right now I need you to tell me when the firefighters will arrive." 

"As soon as possible, they said." You nodded. A knocking came from the door, you dashed to open it and firefighters rushed inside to put the fire out. Now that it was over, you now had to figure out who would pay for the damages.

#jojos #jotaro smut #jotaro x y/n #part 4 jotaro #jotaro x reader #jotaro imagine #josuke higashikata #diu #jjba part 4 #jojo #jjba josuke #jolyne cujoh #jolyne kujo #jjba jolyne #jojo jolyne #smut #reqs open #long reads #ao3 writer #minors dni

[g-xix]

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW, TOO SV5 NONNIE!!!!! Lmk how you've been too bc just the other day asw i was thinking it's been so long since i last talked to you :(

HIHI GRACIE <3

i got logged out of my account for a while so i haven’t actually been able to chat w u, even tho i wanted to :’(

i’ve travelled back to my school unfortunately, and even though my exams are up, my history and law teachers decided to just give us more tests. i’m currently studying for those, but last week i’m telling u some demon must’ve possessed me or some shit bc omd it felt like i had the worst sickness known to man. i’m somewhat better now though, but i’m behind on a lot of my school work, so i won’t be very active these next days/weeks unfortunately 😓 i’ll still check up on u tho !!

also a little f1 rant while i’m already here, it’s only 17 more days till it starts again !! i’m soosososo excited !! did u see the news about lewis going to ferrari? he’s my fav on the current grid, so I’m not really sure how i feel about it. i mean, mercedes hasn’t been treating him as well recently, and they’ve also dropped on their production and car developing. but at the same time, ferrari? nando and seb could both tell u what a horrible idea that is, lewis. i really want him to get his 8th before he retires, but i’m scared he won’t 🙁

anywho !!! what about u ?? how have you been ?? i’ve missed chatting w u, even though i read all of your posts 😁 anything interesting at school or any upcoming projects for us readers u can tell us abt? 👀

Awhhwhwhhh why'd u log out? To cheat on me w an alt or j to recentre your life? respectfully hoping it's the latter

And no litr, everyone ik is really quite sick atm so I'm hoping you get back to good health very very soon because from what I've seen this cold-covid-RAT looks absolutely awful to have. Take care of yo goofy ahh sv5 nonnie, eat your vitamins n minerals and keep healthy

And what's "it"? Like, THE f1? And is F1 like football, like yk, are there European races or is it just worldwide? And are there qualifiers + how do they decide which countries race?

Wait nvm im a fucking idiot i j realised the teams that race are car brands/teams not countries 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Dear God I'm sorry for wasting anyone's time by making u read that, that is honestly embarrassing behaviour on my behalf.

But yeah! My mum said smth ab Hamilton being a driver for Ferarri atm (kinda flew over my head bc i dont rmbr who he drove for initially). And oh, mercedes have been neglecting him? That's good that Lewis is out and into a team that'll treat him better and help him win too.

And 8th what? 8th like, win? If so i hope that too. Well, i don't really know what I hope. All I know is that Stroll is hot and apparently looks as though he's been "freshly fucked into a mattress" (idk i posted a pic ab him and the reblogs still haunt me to this day), Seb's got a nice family and bread baking hobby, fans want to fuck Oscar, Lando and Max, and the rest are a little bit foreign to me

Isn't there a movie coming out (maybe out now tbf) about a racer that was a video game neek but got recruited by Ferrari or another big racing group? Do lmk the name + whether you've seen it + whether it's out + who it's acc based on bc it looks super super super interesting imo

And YAYAYAY nice to see you've still been watching (even if silently)

I'm doing well ty, I've decided it's time to get outta seasonal depression n kickstart loving life again.

I've got a scholar's exam coming up which is gna be hard to get so everyone manifest or pray for me pls, either works...

And in terms of projects, currently I'm doing s'more HC's (AMP eating out and another genre), ATV fluff, ATV threesome oneshot, and a Kinktober-core smut for ChrisMD!!!

Stay in touch SV5 nonnie, it's always acc bare cute talking to u

PEACE N LOVE!!!!

#WAFFLE!! #long rant myb broskis #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #lewis hamilton #ferrari #seb vettel #sebastian vettel #alonso #fernando alonso #stroll #lance stroll #lando norris #lando #oscar piastri #max verstappen

[thatjadedhotmess]

my letters about you.

pairings/characters: childe x gn!reader

warnings⚠️: mentions of food (this while fic is based around food) and fluff !

synopsis: childe brings you back to his home in snezhnaya for christmas dinner and you guys celebrate it together with his family. (unedited and not beta-ed !!)

wc: 1.5k ++

note: helloo helloo ahh it's been awhile sorry I've been gone for so long but I'm back and very alive hehe (currently travelling with my family so i apologise if theres any delays in posting this and the next few posts I'll be making) anyways I hope you guys enjoy this and happy early Christmas ! <3 oo and always likes and reblogs are always appreciated:)

access the rest of my christmas event here !

taglist: @cxlrosii @astrxealis

“Look mama ! big brother Tartaglia is back !” Teucer shouted out, jumping excitedly at the doorstep when he saw his older brother walking towards them.

“Hey Teucer, how’ve you been? Have you, Anthon and Tonia been taking care of mama?” childe quizzed, a big smile on his face as he bent down to hug Teucer, lifting him off the ground in his embrace before pinching his cheeks with his free hand.

“Uhuh ! just as you asked ! She's making pirozhki and meat dumplings with us but I ran out because I saw you from the window.” a sheepish look came onto his face, a rosy blush dusting his cheeks as he scratched his head.

“Is that y/n?” a familiar feminine voice came. Turning your head away from Childe and his younger brother, you directed your attention to the older woman standing by the doorway… with a wooden spoon in her hand?

“Ah, my dearest y/n ! Has ajax been treating you well sweetie? Have you been treating y/n well ajax?” her honey-sweetened voice changed when she turned her attention towards your boyfriend. Now sounding a little more… threatening, the playful kind.

“Of course mama, look at y/n and tell me they aren't getting treated well? Right y/n, tell mama you’re getting treated well,” he whispered the last part into your ear, making you giggle and he started to move behind you as if he was scared to get whacked by his mother.

“Of course mama, ajax is treating me very well,” you assured with a bright smile, taking childe’s free hand in yours. “Shall we go in? It's getting kind of cold out here.”

~~~

Holy shit, you thought. The smell of the Christmas-themed food was amazing. The savoury aroma of the meat dumplings cooking, the distinct scent of cinnamon wafting through the air overpowering almost everything alongside the undertones of burnt sugar, no doubt coming from some dessert baking in the oven. It was mouth-watering.

You couldn't help but admire the cosy little abode his family resided in. a fire burning in the front of the living room, lighting up the interior of the house and giving it a warm glow. A little Christmas tree that was lit up with Christmas ornaments was stationed nearer to the corridor leading towards the bedrooms of the house.

“Settle down by the table darlings the food is almost ready !” his mother spoke gleefully, going back into the kitchen to finish up some last-minute preparations.

After taking off your coats and hanging them by the door, you took Childe’s hand in your own, slowly making your way towards the Christmas tree, a bag in hand containing the Christmas gifts you and Childe had bought for the rest of his family from the capital of the city. He took extra care this year to make sure that all of his siblings got something that they wanted.

After placing the gifts down, you saw Childe looking down at you, a gleeful smile adorned on his face and a look of admiration in his eyes. He looked at you like you were his entire world.

“Come on, shall we head towards the table-” he asked softly while pulling you into his embrace, only to get cut off by the voice of teucer.

“Big brother? Is this the y/n you talk about in all of your letters?” Teucer quizzed, his older siblings Anthon and Tonia giggling as they stood behind him at the doorway of the kitchen.

You turned towards Childe for answers, only to be met with his eyes diverging away from you, his cheeks a little pinker than before. Quickly, he made a comment about how it was just from the fire being too hot, ushering the two of you away, you being in front of him while he pushed your shoulders. This seemed to make the three little ones laugh even more before you saw Tonia running towards the bedrooms, presumably hers.

She came back out five minutes later, a small, nicely decorated box in hand, the top read, “big brother’s letters” with little heart-shaped stickers surrounding it.

“Ya know ms y/n, big brother always writes about you in his letters.” Anthon giggled, walking towards a chair before pulling it out while Tonia headed towards the dining table.

She sat the box down, pulling out a chair to sit beside Anthon before she opened it up, revealing a thick stack of papers, a little fatui emblem sealing the letter.

“Oh gosh,” he mumbled, burying a face in his hand as you curiously walked over to the pair, taking a seat in front of them. You took a letter off the top of the box, ever so gently peeling the emblem that sealed the note.

Oh gosh, you thought, cheeks turning a rosy colour as you started to read the letter.

Right off the bat, the very first sentence was already about you. So was every other sentence after the first. All of it was about a little outing that Childe had brought you on when you two were in the lands of Inazuma, a little picnic that you guys had by the beach. He had gotten a rare off day and decided to take you on a little date in an effort to spend more time with you. There was also a small picture of the two of you attached to the letter.

“They're so cute” you awed, childe getting caught off guard by your response. He expected you to be at least a little mad at him. You had not known that he had written this particular letter, but to be honest you couldn't bring yourself to be mad at him for doing so. How could you be after seeing all the sweet things he wrote about you to his family?

“You're not mad at me?” he asked cautiously while slowly walking towards you, a little afraid of what you had to say.

“No dear, I'm not. But id appreciated it if you let me know if you’re sending pictures for us to your family.” you smiled, sealing the letter back up before you, handing it back to Tonia, who just handed you a thick stack of even more letters. Childe took his seat beside you as he took a letter from the box.

“These are some of the other letters that big brother mentioned you a lot in.” she chuckled, thanking you as she took the letter you had just finished reading, making you blush even harder than before.

You and childe just continued reading and reminiscing the letter he wrote about you and your little adventures and outings together with his siblings.

“Dinner’s ready my darlings ! ahh, I see Tonia and the others have shown you the box of letters from ajax,” she teased, setting down a hot casserole of meat dumplings. “Ajax talks about you all the time. y/n this y/n that, it's so nice to see that you and him are so in love dear.”

You smiled at the comment, meekly thanking his mother before offering to go help take the food out.

“Let me go instead. You, just sit here and look pretty.” Childe quickly spoke after you offered, pushing you down into your seat but not before pressing a kiss to your forehead, making Teucer, Anthon and Tonia squeal loudly at the affection. This just made your face turn red again at the sudden affection.

This was definitely going to be one interesting Christmas celebration.

What happened behind the scenes in the kitchen;

“Are you sure you're treating y/n well ajax? Because I swear to god if there's even a scratch on-”

“Yes mama, for the last time I am treating y/n well and yes you can slap me if there's even one scratch on y/n.” childe groaned, carrying a heavy pot filled with soup while his mother checked on a dish in the oven.

“Good good. Cherish y/n ok? You'll never come across another soul like y/n’s. And i swear to got if you make y/n sad ajax, the belt is coming out and itll be tonia, anthon and teucer smacking you.” she mumbled, saying something else afterwards that Childe didn't really catch.

“Of course mama.” he said with a smile on his face, knowing that’ll never be the case.

He's so glad his mama likes you, he dared say she loved you just as much as she loved her own children, thank his lucky stars and bless her majesty the tsaritsa for making his Christmas dreams come true.

#childe #childe x reader #childe x you #childe x y/n #tartaglia #tartaglia x you #tartaglia x y/n #tartaglia x reader #ajax #ajax x reader #genshin impact #childe genshin #genshin childe #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact x reader #sage🍂 scribbles

[fuzzydreamin]

What The Companions Say About... Deathclaws!

I'm posting these just because I find the companions in-game reactions to things rather interesting. You might be surprised by what some of them have to say about certain things.

These are just their dialogues for during combat and after combat or walking through areas inhabited by this enemy type. It does not include anything from specific areas, quests, or other dialogue.

⌨ Ada

⌨: How could the perfect killing machine rise from the chaos of an irradiated world? ⌨: It takes an astonishing amount of firepower to kill a Deathclaw. ⌨: Fair warning… my self-preservation subroutine is on high alert. ⌨: Aggressive, territorial and carnivorous… the very definition of a predatory species. ⌨: Ma'am, we shouldn't remain here much longer. I fear for your safety.

☘ Cait

☘: Holy shite! Deathclaw! ☘: I'm gonna rip those claws off with me bare hands!

☘: Watch it. These beasts mean business. ☘: I've seen deathclaws chew through raiders like paper. Not a pretty sight. ☘: I'd love to mount a deathclaw head on my wall. If I had a wall. ☘: You want to take some deathclaws down? I'm game. ☘: I've tangled with these things before. Earned a few scars, but walked away with a fortune in claws.

⚙ Codsworth

⚙: {calling out a cautionary warning} Deathclaw! ⚙: {trying not to sound nervous} Hoy boy. A deathclaw.

⚙: {Worried} Perhaps we best hoof it, mum? Lest we run into more Deathclaws. ⚙: {covering fear with intellectual musings} Mirelurks and Radscorpions sure… But what fathered the Deathclaw? Iguanas? ⚙: {extremely nervous / Nervous} Mum, I'm not sure we're safe here. ⚙: {(extremely nervous) a half hearted attempt at half a joke / Nervous} Do be careful, mum. Deathclaws aren't known for their docile nature. ⚙: {"deathclaws scare me" / Nervous} I don't mind saying it, mum, Deathclaws give me a bad case of collywobbles.

⚕ Curie

⚕: I find no records of these Deathclaws. They are new to this world, yes? ⚕: In this biosphere, I believe humans are not the apex predator. The Deathclaw, I believe he sits at the top. ⚕: I would prefer we avoid Deathclaws. If I am destroyed, there is no more science that can be done. ⚕: Are Deathclaws always violent? Perhaps play some music for them? Or poetry? ⚕: We should maintain vital statistics of the people. For causes of death, I think Deathclaw related injuries must be high on that list.

♞ Danse

♞: Deathclaw! Condition red! ♞: Fire! Don't let it get close!

♞: {These things are tough, even for a soldier like you.} Don't underestimate the deathclaw. I've seen one tear open Power Armour like it was a tin can. ♞: {These things are tough, even for a soldier like you.} Aim for the deathclaw's legs to slow them down. It might give you a chance to survive. ♞: Did you know Elder Maxson took a deathclaw out with nothing but a combat knife? And he has the scar to prove it. ♞: We shouldn't stick around here too long. No telling how many deathclaws call this their home. ♞: {These things are tough, even for a soldier like you.} My advice for hunting a deathclaw? Return to base and forget about it. You'll live longer.

🕶 Deacon

🕶: Ahh. Deathclaw. 🕶: Don't let it get close. Pop a Stealth Boy if you got one.

🕶: Brr… Deathclaws. 🕶: I do not like 'Claws. Those fast, car flipping, ahh… They just get to me. 🕶: If we're hunting Deathclaws, care to tag in Glory? Please? 🕶: Another Deathclaw down, and another of my 9 lives burned. Yay. 🕶: Deathclaws, love them or leave them, they'll still tear your face off.

☠ Gage

☠: Oh shit… Deathclaw… ☠: Deathclaw! Time for the big guns!

☠: Okay… We may have a problem here… ☠: I'm all for a good fight, but Deathclaws?…

☣ Hancock

☣: {Concerned} Shit. Here comes trouble. ☣: {Stern} If you were saving any explosives, now'd be the time.

☣: {Question} So, what do you think it'd take to train these things to just eat Super Mutants? ☣: {Neutral} No matter how many of these I take down, they still give me the chills. ☣: {Neutral} Always found goin' after a Deathclaw's legs made 'em easier to take out… or at least outrun. ☣: {Amused} You ever had Deathclaw steak? Nothing tastier than a meal that tries to eat you first. ☣: {Neutral} Deathclaw broke into Goodneighbor once. Thought I'd wandered into a butcher shop.

☸ Longfellow

(All of these have the {Deathclaws are huge, terrifying monsters. You have a healthy respect for them but aren't afraid.} note) ☸: Hunted deathclaws a time or two. One thing's for sure, it's never boring. ☸: Best way to take down a Deathclaw is to aim for the head. From a long way away, of course. ☸: Everythin' you need to know 'bout a Deathclaw is right there in its name. ☸: Not all Deathclaws are the same. They're all nasty, but some of 'em are real devils. ☸: Deathclaws are twice as nasty when they're guardin' a nest. You see one doin' that, it's best to leave it be.

⨁ MacCready

⨁: Kill it like you mean it! ⨁: Gonna rip those claws off you with my bare hands!

⨁: Nothing turns your shorts brown faster than a deathclaw charging at you. ⨁: We need to get he hell out of here as soon as possible. ⨁: If deathclaws are mutated Jackson's Chameleons, how the heck did they get so big? ⨁: We're doing a bit of big game hunting now, huh? ⨁: Seen bullets glance right of a deathclaw's hide before. Better load up with the heavy stuff.

♥ Nick

♥: {Neutral} That's one ticked-off dino. ♥: {Stern} Shouldn't you be extinct?

♥: {Neutral} Ten feet of muscle and rage. Deathclaws make everything else look like children's toys. ♥: {Implying that those guys are now extremely dead. / Stern} I knew a couple of guys who thought they could make caps looting a Deathclaw nest. Emphasis on "knew." ♥: {Neutral} These things are mutated lizards, right? Just our luck they didn't stay vegetarians. ♥: {Neutral} As long as these things are out here, folks'll never be safe outside the settlements… or in them for that matter… ♥: {Neutral} Bunch of bad-tempered museum exhibits.

✉ Piper

✉: {Nervous} No, no, no. Here it comes! ✉: {With a "you're nuts" tone / Neutral} We picking "fight" over "flight?" Okay…

✉: {Neutral} Don't usually get to see Deathclaws this close. Wouldn't mind this being the last time, either. ✉: {Irritated} Not to go all "writer," but seriously? Deathclaws? What, was "Pointy Lizard" taken? ✉: {Realises Roger is dead at the end. / Neutral} Knew a trader who dealt solely in Deathclaw goods. Clothes, weapons, jewellery. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Roger in a whi… oh. ✉: {Neutral} Makes you wonder how people ever made it past day one with these things running amok out here. ✉: {Neutral} It'd probably take the Brotherhood, Institute, and divine intervention to clear these things from the Commonwealth.

☀ Preston

☀: Deathclaw! Unload with everything you got! ☀: Aim for the legs! We've got to slow that thing down! ☀: Blast that thing! Now!

☀: Holy hell. I can't believe we got out of there alive. ☀: I'm just glad we're both still standing. ☀: I don't mind admitting, I'm still a little shaky. ☀: I'd be okay if that was the last deathclaw I ever saw.

☢ Strong

☢: Deathclaws. Worthy foes. ☢: Need many brothers to hunt Deathclaws. ☢: Deathclaws fast. Deathclaws strong. Deathclaws hard. ☢: Only great warriors can kill Deathclaws. ☢: Must keep moving to kill Deathclaw. Circle and circle and circle.

☾ X6-88

☾: {Urgency} You'll want to stay clear of those claws, ma'am. ☾: {Urgent concern} Deathclaw… shit. This is a class-A threat. ☾: {Urgent concern} Hope you're ready for a fight, because a Deathclaw always is. ☾: Best way to fight a Deathclaw is to flank it. Sometimes they get confused. ☾: {Concern} Deathclaw armour's thick… gotta have something strong to punch through it.

-----

My Notes:

So Cait is a hobbyist Deathclaw hunter... As an Aussie I'm proud -Jump on it's back! Tie up her snout! I will 100% mount a Deathclaw head in her room in Sanctuary. Even our toughest companions (Danse, X6, and Strong) don't look forward to going head-to-head with a Deathclaw, but she's ready to rumble.

I think it would be hilarious to see someone trying to play a lulluby for a Deathclaw. Cute if it works, funny if not. I'll get the popcorn ready.

Danse can you not suck Maxson's dick for one second.

Cait and Mac have the same battle cry about ripping the claws off.

Mac knowing they were mutated from Jackson's Chameleon -that'd likely be from lingering Enclave influence/information in the Capital.

Before Concord, Preston had never seen a Deathclaw up close (he admits so after the fight). Suffice to say he's fond of keeping things that way.

Everyone but Longfellow seems to agree that the best way to take on a Deathclaw, other than y'know, not doing that, is to flank it's side and go for the legs with the heaviest hits you've got. Longfellow's aiming up those headshots from afar. Probably works best if you've got enough people and weaponry to do both.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fallout 4 companions #fallout 4 dialogue #deathclaw #fuzzy.post #fallout.animal

[supercriminalbean]

So apparently I never posted my thoughts on the final the fuck. Okay so here it is.

Things that made me insane during criminal minds evolution:

Written while I watched so enjoy my bumbling mess. Spoiler alert of course.

Episode 10.

Episode 10:

I have no energy and I'm sick so let's go.

Preview. Rossi Tyler sounds like he just adopt another child.

Flash back...ahh

I love Krystal tho.

I still wish JJ was unit chief but Krystal being the support wife ìs the best thing ever.

Dave please leave the BAU after this case please.

I love in charge Emily Prentiss no one fucks with her family.

And yes Rebecca coming into help. Fuck I hope her and Tara try again.

Rebecca better not get in trouble.

Aww poor Holly.

Dave staring into the camera.

Emily gasp aww.

Emily degrading Bailey is great hehe. The girl is scared her father is in danger.

Bailey is doing his best can Emily just breath please

Gold star...ooh tgoes reaction.

Luke's hand on Penelopes back while Will watches JJ concerned. The boys know how close thier girls are with Rossi.

JJ tapping Penelope should just melts me.

WHAT IS GOLD STAR.

My first though and my hope is that its the thing that Reid is on...I know it won't be and I won't see him but a bitch can hope right..

NO DONT KILL ROSSI YA FUCKERS

Garcia phone call...

Tyler in surgery..

D did she just call him David...why did they cut deep...

Luke is the pole support we all need. He's pure strong he's always looking after him come onnnnn.

Ellias wife is stupid his kids are smart.

She found a kill kittttt.

Rossi is a fucking legend yes bitch.

Aww Garcia smile is the cutesttt.

Rossi profiling is hot fuck yesssss.

Yesss bitch Yesss.

Yeah I need therapy but man I love David Rossi.

Fuck I'm proud of him.

Let's gooo.

It worked...kinda...

Ugh fuck off Rebecca and Bailey I dislike you two.

Emily is highly pissed off.

Did Bailey just swear

Okay Emily knows something up with deputy douchbag

Luke and Tara profiling together yes.

Go Rossi go.

KRYSTAL!!

NOOOOOOO you don't get to quit David Rossi fuck you.

(Was anyone else hoping that Krystal was going to turn into Aaron like unreasonable I know but still)

I like the flower in Garcia hair.

Fucking hell deputy dick ugh.

Did he just lose his shittt. Yesssss.yess yesss.

No no no. If that's JJ.

I FUCKING SWEAR TO HELL IF SOMETHING HAPPENES TO WILL OR JJ ILL KILL A BITCH.

Will like this bitch.

So can Bailey please get shot.

What is gold starrrrrr.

Maybe Bailey is his undercover man.

Will...be careful.

JJ concern for Dave...

JJ..don't get death or Luke be careful.

Will and JJ working together...

Omg Bailey dead..haha shit.

WILL.

JJ concern is love. I love them.

Luke....Luke...Holy fuck you got him.

Is Elias crying?...

Rebecca...TELL HER RIGHT NOW.

JJ & WILL is love.

JJ talking to Sydney is ahh so sweet.

Sydney is girl boss.

Hold on Rossi they coming.

Aww Krystal

Time to live!

Luke fuck yeahh.

Ewwww fuck no.

Garcia never see him again please.

Wait is she finially breaking it over with him... Yay.

Goodbye kiss. Now a hello kiss with Luke right...right..?

DAVE!!!

Dave and Emily hug. The hey you...

A whole group hug cos they got the son of a bitch.

Dave kissing penelopes cheek 🥺 my daddy issues.

Bailey funeral...

Aww the team..

I hope Will is around alot more.

LUKE AND PENELOPE MOMENTS.

Okay I need to stop getting my hopes up for thoes two.

JJ admiting how scared she was when he was out.

Will saying they make a good teammm.

JJ is babbbbyyyyyy. I love these two so much.

Why do I think Dave knows what it is.

What are thoes men doing...

Oh no

WHO?!

#criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds season 16 final #jj #Jennifer jareau #will lamontagne #david rossi #emily prentiss #luke alvez #tara lewis #penelope garcia #galvez #criminal minds death

[2lim3rz]

Hey, I have a small confession to make. So, before I jump into it, I’ve begun shifting to different realities just so I can check out the world, like wildlife, nature, architecture, and food, so keep that in mind. Ahh, recently I decided to look at the lore for Warhammer just because I like to make shit posts about it, as one does, and somehow I fell asleep, and I happen to wake up on a backwater planet that was not Earth. Anywhose, I awoke in a Back Alley during a parade/speech that the Emperor of Mankind was having to rally the people. Of course, I had no idea he was doing this and decided to search to see where I was and how I came about on this planet. I stumbled into the crowd of people, disoriented and disgruntled because the architecture was magnificent but odd, too large and Imposing, and I was scrambling for straws because this was not Earth, and these buildings were something that I was used to. It was as if a cathedral had sex with technology and had a child. My only goal was to get home but to do so, I had to know where I was, so I followed the people to what appeared to be the city square, and there he was. Huge, clad in gold and ever-shifting shape, was the fucking Emperor. Mind you, no one really paid attention to me because he held the rapt focus of the people, but apparently, I was not very discreet about my disorientation, and probably because I was decked out in jeans, hoodie, and hair tied up with a claw clip (she/they). You know, weird clothes that the human population no longer wears!!!! And a person leaned by and began asking questions in what appeared to be English, but was not our English, like it was old English speaking that was very rudimentary. I tried answering and tried asking my questions, but it was difficult. Mind you, I have not yet caught the attention of the custodes that were surrounding the Emps, or the Emps' attention, but I could see that they were searching for something in the crowd. I began to tune out the gentlemen because I never really thought that I would see the Emperor up close and personal, but here I was, and it was fucking terrifying. I was practically gawking at him because HOLY FUCK was he massive, and fucking bright to look at. I had no clue what I was staring at, but he appeared to be 14ft to 15ft, because based on my height (5ft,5in), I came about knee to mid-thigh on him, and he appeared to be as bright as the sun when I tried to at least look at his face. All I know was that he was a fucking beast, and I wanted to get the fuck out of there. The gentleman who was asking me questions was spewing off some gibberish, and all I had to go for me was this internal Dialogue. "If 2+2=4, and 4+4=8, what type of monstrosity was before me, claiming to be human? No human should be that fucking tall, covered in a shit load amount of gold, with a face I can't see because the force of a thousand suns was STARING AT ME. Wait....no... Staring at me." When I was in my little world, the fucking Emperor was able to spot me and had zoned in on my location; I was in the back of the fucking line, so a mortal man could not spot me as well as he did. I have begun to sweat bullets and shake because holy hell, I do not want to be here, and in front of this thing that parades around in Human Flesh. I try to turn around and fuck off, but I can't; it feels like I'm anchored to the spot, and then, I felt an intense headache coming on like someone is bludgeoning a hammer into my skull, and then I feel it, him, or whatever the fuck he was trying to play at. It felt like he was trying to force himself into my mind because it felt surrounded by a miasma of him. Me being me, I'm like "I think the fuck not, you disgraceful shit", and suddenly, I woke up. As of now, my head still hurts, and I am scared to go back to sleep. He probably heard all of my internal dialogue, and that was probably why he was able to locate me. You can believe me or not, but I am fucking terrified, and I honestly do not want to imagine him as a fucking mummy because I will die. I apologize if my grammar is way off.

Not to be That Guy but just like, go back to sleep man. You had a whacked out dream. I've had them before where I swore I saw the warp

Dreams are whack. Consciousness is whack. Neato

Hope you calm down and have better dreams

#2lim3rz chats to anonymous #sorry if I sound like an ass I just #i just personally don't agree with shifting nonsense

[athousandbyeol]

this is a athousandbyeol appreciation post.

you make me feel emotions that I've deep down locked up and buried your writings brings out the raw and pure ethereal even human emotions in me and for someone who has gone numb for years now I feel so completed and (I am not so good with words I donot how to express shit beautifully) you know like I've been given a second chance at life after giving up

Weeks back when I discovered your work i read all your works in a day (FB realted) I even read them inbetween while rewatching abaab to give me a much more heavier side of the series in words and not in thoughts

Every paragraph is just soo beautifully constructed that I shed my demons with every line I read it holds so many emotions and feelings and rawness and pureness and love and heartbreak and happiness and literally every little and big human feelings

You know like how gold doesn't dissolve in anything but aqua regia you are one of my aqua regia your writings melt me and make me feel emotions that I thought I'd lost forever all these years

I am so in love with your writings and I am also proud of you and I hope you have all the best things in the world and hope you keep and grow your writing thank you thank you for all of it

#my rambling doesn't do justice to what I want to appreciate about you

#I woke up and chose feeling things today

#hope you have a lovely day week month year

#hi its me again that one rambling cute op

#susu na

it's almost 4 am here and i'm fighting back the smile and tears.

i'm sorry for every experience you went through in life that hindered your ability to feel. reading this, i'm grateful my words helped you experience the wonders of feeling again. maybe not much. maybe not that profoundly. but i'm glad it could help. i'm always insecure about my writing style. i've received some comments saying it's too much. doesn't make sense most of the time. overwhelming. yet, i'm thankful that my stories work differently on you. i'm happy to know you could feel.

oh, my... why did you read my stories ahh :( and going as far as to read everything forcebook-related works i published? i'm digging a hole as i speak. i'll sink into that dungeon for life. i get nervous whenever people read my stories because i'm not a native english speaker and i write in lapslock (which can be discomforting to many). so... i'm overwhelmed i'm happy. and undeserving. to know this. to know someone like you read my works and enjoy them. to receive kind words and a very long comment which i don't get often. it feels weird. almost.

You know like how gold doesn't dissolve in anything but aqua regia you are one of my aqua regia your writings melt me and make me feel emotions that I thought I'd lost forever all these years

i'm shedding tears... i don't know what else to say. i'm happy. i'm thankful. i'm elated. every good feeling there is out there for you.

oh. please, don't be too in love with my stories though because, at one point, i'll disappoint you :( it happens all the time and i'm just scared to feel attached to your praises. but for now, i'll embrace your love for my stories by trying to write with sincerity and (lots of incoherent) feelings.

this is one of the best things i've ever heard as a writer;

I am also proud of you and I hope you have all the best things in the world and hope you keep and grow your writing thank you thank you for all of it.

thank you. this means more than the world to me.

i'm proud of you too. thank you for being you. <3

#op... i hope one day i can formally show my gratitude to you #i'm thankful to receive such kind words from someone like you #thank you for everything #i hope my stories can be beneficial to you in one way or another #have a lovely day week month year too <3 #god bless. #su su! #thanks for the ask ^^ #personal #na answers

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Mewtwo: welcome to The Mystery Box! Where we guess what's inside this little box, whoever wins gets a prize!

Mewtwo: the first CLOOOOOOOO is something green.

Adam: weed.

Mewtwo: IT'S NOT FUCKING WEED YOU PIECE OF SHIT S T O N E R - .

(here we go!)

✨Random Quotes From The Fam✨

MEMORY: Steve, you have a call!

Black-eyes guy: hm? *He picks up* yes, who is it?

Black-eyes guy:

Black-eyes guy: i thought i told you to never call this number again.

MEMORY: OHHHHHHH-

(source: L Void, Deltarune Memes, Youtube)

.

*silence*

Mewtwo: *gunshot to the ceiling*

Adam: *spookt* THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU!

Mewtwo: pfffjfjgkgj-

.

Mewtwo, playing PHASMOPHOBIA: all of my friends are dead and i got paid 50 dollars...

Mewtwo: ✨sick✨

(source: Corpse, Youtube)

.

Adam, making another video: unfortunately, mewtwo is not gonna be here today, he's pretty busy right now so-

Mewtwo: AHH!

Adam:

A

Adam: HIJO DE SU PUTA MADRE YOU SCARED ME-

(source: special edd, World's Scariest Tiktoks, Youtube)

.

(thank you @mikeshirona1319 for the quote!)

Mew: rejected names for popsicles, go!

Adam: chilldos.

Mewtwo: snrk- *cracks up* chilldos- that's fuckin' great!

Mew: that's great!

Mewtwo: i don't think you'd be able to top that.

.

Mewtwo: do you know... The Muffin Man™?

Celeste: The Muffin Man™? *Confused*

Mew: THE MUFFIN MAN ™!!!

Mewtwo and Celeste: WHEEZE-

.

Mew: hey! Wanna see my impression of an angel?

Mary: *thinkin' it'll be cute* oh my god cute! Yeah!

Mew: *STRAIGHT UP BIBLICALLY ACCURATE*

Mary: ಠ∀ಠ

Mew: be not afraid-

Mary: AAAAAAA-

Mew: i said be not afraid-

.

[Aliza and Mewtwo are playing house]

Mewtwo: *his character comes into the scene :D* how ya doin'?

Aliza: dada... Say it in your Girl Voice™, why do i have to keep asking you this-

Mewtwo: ... Okay Adam you need to turn around- how ya doin'?

Adam: wheezeee- HEEHEHEHEHRDHAHAAHAHHAA- *fuckin' dying lmao*

Mewtwo: .-_.-

Aliza: .-^.-

Adam: HE SAID- "hOw yA doIN'????"

Mewtwo: hey shut up- *yeets random pillow nearby*

Adam: *hit-* A-

.

(@martysgachaworld wHEEZE-)

Celeste's older bro: 🎶we're all gonna be safe, and we're all gonna have a great time!🎶

Lost black-eyes:

Celeste's older bro: 🎶WHAT IN THE ARCEUS POKE-GOD WAS THAT-🎶

.

(thank you @say-sike for this)

MEMORY: that's why yo shoes raggedy!

Adam: that's why yo mama dead.

*vine boom*

Adam: dead as hell.

MEMORY: Q∆Q

Adam: what shoes she got on her casket? *Vine boom*

Adam: that's why yo granny got no knees-

Adam: she didn't pray to Arceus, bitch.

.

(@tabeekat for this one, fuckin' treasure XD)

Teen Aliza: this is impossible, Adam can't be good at everything!

*silence...*

Teen Aliza: aha! *Table slam* he's a bad kisser!

Mewtwo: no, he's good at that too.

Teen Aliza: what.

Mewtwo: what.

.

Adam: honestly, Two... You're an asshole.

Mewtwo: hey, you are what you eat, Adam.

Adam: wHEEZE- WHAT THE- WHAT THE HELL- *loses it*

(source: Snapcube Dub of a Sonic game, Youtube)

.

THIS ONE IS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE GOD IT'S... WOW.

(here we go!)

MEMORY: i'm going to make an announcement, The Wishpeople are a buncha bitchass motherfuckers, they killed my fucking girlfriend.

MEMORY: that's right, they took out their black fucking full-auto rifles out and they KILLED MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.

MEMORY: and then they said "it's a secret", and i said "that's disgusting", so i'm making a call-out post on my Twitter dot com:

MEMORY: The Wishpeople, you all got small dicks, they're the sizes of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what, here's what my dong looks like- *straight up pulls out A HUMONGOUS SPOON*

MEMORY: that's right baby, all round, no flaws, no issues, look at that it looks like it could absolutely demolish.

MEMORY: they killed my girlfriend so guess what i'm gonna kill the staff, that's right this is what you get-

MEMORY: MY SUPER LASER PISS!

(wheeze- i'm havsing a fuckign field day wirh this one jdhsggaga-)

MEMORY: except i'm not gonna piss on the staff, i'm gonna go higher, i'm pissing on the WORLD!

MEMORY: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE WORLD YOU I D I O T !

MEMORY: you have 23 hours before the piss- DRRROP-PUH-LETS- hit the fucking core! Now get out of my fucking sight before i piss on you too!

#pokemon #mewtwo #memory #adam #aliza #celeste #mary #Martin #THAT'S THE NAME OF CELESTE'S OLDER BRO ENJOY THE LEAK LOL LMAO -SketchTwo #teen aliza #mew #[memory strikes back] #incorrect quotes #MY GOD I HAD A FIELD DAY WITH THAT ONE XD

[cheollipop]

Aww I'm glad you like my random check ins!!

I hope uni is being nice to you, and it's good that you're taking things slow and finding solace in writing. Your fics have been absolutely beautiful lately (like they would be any different lol, that's funny) so I'm excited to see what you've got in store :)

I've been good! It's summer holidays for me atm so it's been nice relaxing. I've also been toying with the idea of turning my blog into an ateez one and maybe perhaps posting some fics?👀 I'm still thinking about it though so we'll see where that leads

Also, are you excited for the comeback?? These concept photos have quite literally had me on the floor ngl

I love themm!! 💗

uni's been a little shit I'm ngl hahahaha, but that's nothing new. I'm not too stressed atm ^^ ahh thank you so much!! I'm really happy with how they've been turning out for the most part,, I have a few things I'd like to write soon, and then I'm considering maybe officially opening requests for the first time? that kind of scares me though because I don't want to disappoint, plus I'm not sure if anyone's gonna send any in ;;

ahh that's lovely!!! and omg you shoulddd! we can be writer moots hehe~ I think the holidays are prime time for experimenting ^^ and feel free to dm me if you need any help brainstorming a fic idea~ or anything else really. you could always write something for yourself at first, and if you enjoy that, then you could start posting them.

don't even get me started omg. everyone looks SO GOOD- pink mingi has been wrecking me so hard dskdjdkd I no longer regret spending a fortune on the albums because I need all the pcs I can get 😵‍💫 also the little song teasers??? NO SKIPS- ain't nobody mess with django, yk?

thank you for checking in!! I'm here if you need me~ have a lovely day/night! mwahh ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ💕

#ask #lavanya 💓

[sapphirefox1995]

I had a nightmare a while back and I'm going to write it here because it scared me so bad I cried.

So a YouTuber was playing a new horror game and he's popular (I think it was Jacksepticeye but I cant remember) so this is going out to millions of viewers.

In the game you play as a women, and in the next room over there is this creature that is standing outside your window. It's insanely fleshy to the point its borderline disgusting, and its face looks kinda like that tapeworm under a microscope but a bit more relaxed.

Its unblinking and unmoving. Its eerie.

But you dont think much, do your daily chores, and go to bed. Now, when you sleep, there's a part of your body that hurts in so much pain you cant sleep and you just scream all night long. Like, chilling screams of torture and agony. And when you wake up, that part that hurt all night is wounded.

But not bruised or cut, fucking body horror shit. I saw close ups and they made my skin crawl. It fucked me up so bad.

So you go to the room again and the creature is still there, just closer. By the window, but in your house. You cant do anything to it, its just there. You go to bed, you hurt, you wake up to a disfigured limb.

And this continues everyday until the creature is right beside your bed when you wake. When you go to bed after that, you die. And the creature is gone.

So Jack goes "ahh creepy game. Anyway, see ya later" and posts the vid, hence why I was watching it.

But later on the news it said that he was found dead in his bed, disfigured. Not only that, people who watched the video noted the same things were happening to them that was happening to the women. Some tried to intimidate or kill the creature, those people died more violently.

And it came to me. Same thing as the game was happening, and I was crying, i didn't know what to do, and i was driven to the point of hysteria from the torture and lack of sleep.

I saw the creature, staring down at me when I woke, his eyes blank of expression. But it was real. It looked real, I swore I could touch him.

And then I woke up from this nightmare actually crying I hated it so much. It hasn't left my brain since. My nightmares tend to be psychological horror, but I havent been this affected by one in a while.

#long post #dream #nightmare #nightmares #horror