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hanniejji · 1 year

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silence

[ wanderer!scaramouche x okami!reader ]

summary: completely lost after his defeat in becoming a god, he searches not only for a new purpose but also for a certain someone who brought him comfort greater than his own kin would.

notes: aka scara is a baby and comes crying to you because he's a sore loser /jk | m.list

words: 2933 | warnings: it's scaramouche /jk there's nothing bad here just comfort and shit, also the pacing is kinda shitty cause i wrote this at work lmao

you have always loved the silence.

the eerie silence that enveloped a battlefield after a fight, where one side mourns for the dead and the other celebrates their victory far away. the tranquil noises of nature in the forest, your abode—if you focus enough, you can hear the white noise of the wind rushing above the sky, the flight of birds, the footsteps of every animal within your vicinity, and the gushing waterfall hitting the surface below. the muted thoughts of people, all with voices to scream yet defiance against authority means death, so they choose to silence their cries for help. the stillness of the night, where you can faintly hear the howls of your kin from afar, reminding you of past battles won and lost.

but somewhere in the distant memory of your past, you miss the complaints of a certain boy whose voice never seemed to shut the hell up.

your words, not mine.

he used to be so loud, crying even whilst he slept. whining and complaining about how you imprisoned him in this otherworldly forest of yours, yet he shuts his mouth after being reminded of his reality of being a casualty to those he comes across.

a puppet gone mad, out of its master's control, strings tangled.

"you're not here to be tamed, brat."

"then why are you keeping me here?" kunikuzushi glares at you from the other side of the stone table, a hand gripping the knife you casually gave him so he could practice on his own.

you always seemed to be his dummy target though. not that he could hurt you in the slightest, the gap between your capabilities is that of the height you need to reach celestia. it's quite an exaggeration, but far from a lie.

"so you don't go around accidentally causing more unintentional problems. learn how to use your brain or something, you have one for a reason," was always your answer to his repeated question, laughing at the way his face contorted to apprehension. "i don't have the patience to shape you into whatever humane person or puppet your creator wants you to be. so i'm doing you a favor by letting you be whatever the fuck you want to be. kill whoever you want, destroy whatever you want, go pour your anger as much as you want. it matters little to me."

"doesn't that contradict your past obligation as inazuma's former defender?"

"exactly what the title says," you shrug your shoulders, throwing your hands up without energy, "that is in the past. inazuma's concerns do not matter to me now that my god is gone."

placing your chin on your palm, you send him a knowing smirk, a sight he realizes that he does not like, "you can destroy this nation all you want and i wouldn't mind one bit. it would be interesting to see you as a god and not just a little brat."

he would always grow silent after the nth time you had this conversation, pondering, imagining the imagery of what you just said. it's almost as if he's in a trance.

the silence of someone having an inner conflict in more ways than one, is something that you would say is better than the silence when someone is mourning.

because this kind of silence is always followed by chaos.

"oh? where do you think you're going, little doll?"

"stop calling me that," he hissed, turning his head to glare at you.

for some reason, the change in his personality these past few months was refreshing, so unlike the whiny little brat who used to cower away from you. the same brat who's always frustrated at himself.

but at the same time, it's such a shame that he didn't change his ways. still reckless and careless.

this recklessness will kill him someday, you thought.

"well, answer the question."

he falters, taking a few steps away from you when you tilt your head, urging—demanding for his answer. he still couldn't look you straight in the eyes when you become like this—when your voice goes a little deep, eyes staring him down and the authority in the way you poised yourself.

"to the fatui. i'm not going to let myself rot in here."

"you're a puppet, you're not supposed to rot."

he scoffs at the comment, vile irritation building up his throat at the way you remained unbothered, almost uncaring, indifferent and as if this means little to you. you act more like a puppet than he does, he realizes.

he hates that about you.

it's ironic. he's the same way, more venomous through his words—but with you, it's like talking to a stone cold wall.

"i'm leaving to snezhnaya."

"hm," you turn your head to the vast forest, shrouded with tall trees and thick fog—wait, when did the fog get so thick? kunikuzushi was so sure he could still see far and beyond the first few layers of those trees, why did the forest suddenly seem so eerie and… predatory.

"you can leave."

"huh?" he stares at you in disbelief, with a hint of sadness.

are you… really going to let him go that easily?

for some reason, despite the freedom given to him, he wanted you to stop him.

"find the exit yourself," your trademark grin appeared on your face, challenging and daring him to do so. it's infuriating, makes him feel like you're looking down at him and his capabilities. "if you successfully get out of this forest, then i trust that you can handle the world outside and beyond this nation."

i take back my words, he scoffs, i don't need their permission to leave. they can't stop me.

"i don't need another petty test of yours, i can take care of my own," he sharply turns away and into the direction he swore was the exit just a moment ago.

"oh, trust me, doll," your giggles echoed through the forest, ringing in his ears for the last time, way too close than from where you just stood a moment ago.

"the forest is a cruel place to get lost in."

and since then, your abode returned to the way it was.

placid, motionless, and isolated. just like how it should be.

yet you look forward to the day that he comes back crying—you stifle a laugh at how pitiful he would look—scrunched nose and furrowed eyebrows, grumbling curses to the world as he slumps down on the ground, hissing at you as you tease him for being a baby before he falls asleep on the sprawled blanket you have in the living room of your cabin. your spirit watches over his sleep, dispersing his nightmares before it can even take root in his mind and blanketing him with your tail despite his inability to feel the change in the temperature.

no, he's too deep in his sleep to ever catch you doing such things.

some days, you'd sense a feeling of fear crawling inside the back of your head. it takes a form of visions and voices. it would whisper using the boy's voice, show images using his face, speak in a way he does. it's times like this that you take pride in your strength. you know better than to crumble against fear and its illusions. such emotions are not strong enough to push through the height of your defenses that were built from piles upon piles of lost loved ones.

yet your heart clenches at the thought of this boy, robbed of the opportunity to grow properly, succumbing to the demons of this world.

it's a shame that even you can't be the person to guide him, for you are the same as he.

you can only hope that he finds himself in his journey.

"ah, it seems like it's that time of the year once again."

you stretch your limbs with a pur-like groan, your tail swinging in anticipation behind you. now that the weariness from sleep had faded, your sharp eyes admire the red and orange colors blending within the forest, the sound of leaves crunching beneath your feet every step you take music to your ears and the cold breeze wafting in the air.

the season of fall always brings out the playful side of your soul.

your attentiveness is sharper than usual, eyes turning to every little bit of movement in your surroundings despite knowing that no threat can occur in your abode. you carved its landscape with your very own hand, grew each and every tree rooted on the ground, wrote protective spells into every tree bark to form your very own barrier, opened ponds and breathed life into its very ground through the leylines. it's your safe haven, nothing can disturb your peace and it is a part of you to an extent.

that's way, when a familiar presence stepped inside your abode with no struggles whatsoever, your ears perked up and tail sways in anticipation.

fall is indeed a season for farewells and reunions.

"you're back quite earlier than expected, did the world outside the forest scare you?" you needn't look to know that he's standing right at the entrance of your favorite clearing, your figure sat near the pond with your feet dipped into the clear water.

"you're exaggerating," he grumbles, footsteps getting louder and closer until he's close enough, stopping just next to you.

"most certainly not," you hummed softly, tilting your head up to look at him after a few hundred years of not seeing him. your ears twitched.

instantly, you know something is different about him.

"you've changed."

"hmp, perhaps," he scoffs loudly, taking a seat beside you in a criss-cross position, slouching a little bit. he's barely looking at you, but that's not something new.

the way you imagined he would years ago.

"you're still grumpy though, might want to change that."

"you're still insufferable. i shouldn't have come back."

"yet you're here. i'm surprised you were able to enter without a problem. i was hoping the forest devoured you when you left. turns out you were able to get out, a shame," you sigh, "i should check on my barriers soon."

"you—" he hisses—the same way you adored, like an angry kitten—turning his head to glare at you, forehead scrunched in irritation, "so you don't even know if anyone gets caught in your shithole? did you assume i just up and died right before i got out?"

he can feel something warm in his chest at the way you laughed freely.

he hasn't heard that sound for a long time.

"you're alive though," he groaned at the familiar sly smile on your face. "besides, i wouldn't have let you go if i didn't know that you'd make it out alive."

"you would in a heartbeat."

"hm, if it were someone else, perhaps. but not you," you turn your head back to the pond, a contented smile on your face, voice unintentionally turning soft, "not my brat."

those words were the key to kunikuzushi's vulnerable state.

the silence that followed after your words was… unnerving, for some reason.

yet you felt as if you should give him the time he needs to gather himself, to give him a choice to talk or to keep things to himself. it stayed like that for a while, tuning into the sound of birds above and humming to make him more comfortable—or was it for your own comfort that you tried to fill in the silence? the feeling of being unsure is so… uneasy.

why am i doing so much for his comfort?

just when you're about to speak to change the topic, he opens his mouth—and he speaks.

piles and piles of words upon words, like a scroll being unravel down the flight of stairs to the narukami shrine. his voice, clumsy and blurry words as it may be, sings to you tragedies in a kabuki performance. he opens his doors to you and only you, almost breaking down on the spot if it wasn't for his ridiculous pride—you surmise that you may have influenced him in that case. it plays a theatrical scene that takes eternity to finish dialogues upon dialogues.

he's a puppet whose strings are cut short, but he picks himself up, tangling the fragile strings in the process.

and you are his only audience.

you're his standing ovation when no one bothers to stop and see him for what he is.

perhaps, you are more suited to be sat beside him, joining in his play instead of just a witness—because you are more than just some random bystander who happens to pass by a puppet show.

it took him a while to finish his story. just like any kabuki, time is crucial in the production, and kunikuzushi is a person who barely had the time to see the world in its purest form. yet time is also what brought him his demise.

the gods did not give him enough time to feel and learn.

when he finishes, the sun has already hid itself behind the ocean of trees and the sky is blanketed by a starry void.

a false sky, he said in one of his stories.

somehow, kunikuzushi's head ended up on your lap—he dares not to bring attention to this fact, he already feels embarrassed as it is.

"how did it felt?"

he stares at you with a grain of salt.

"to what? to almost die? quite the experience, i didn't enjoy falling head first though. would you like to try?"

"no, dumbass," he hisses when your finger flicks against his forehead. before he could even cover the assaulted area, you swat his hand away to replace it with yours. an uncharacteristic gentle touch on his skin, a caress. he resists the urge to melt towards your hand. "how did it feel like to almost have something within your reach but realize it won't do you any better? to learn how to decide for yourself, for the better, after experiencing bitter defeat?"

he purses his lips, turning away from your direction to stare at the pond reflecting the dark sky.

your hand slips across his forehead to his hair, gently caressing the familiar stresses—familiar stresses that reminded you so much of a former dear friend that you lost long ago. you didn't expect him to answer your question yet, to push forward for an answer would be adding salt to an open wound.

and the last thing you want to do is give him a reason to pull away.

"you know, if i was ei, i would have chosen you to rule with me."

"stop saying things to make me feel better, that's not like you," he scoffs—unbeknownst to the way his cheeks turn a little warmer.

such a human feature to have.

"i would love to see you be the god you wanted to be," you continued to mutter with a soft smile, brushing your fingers through his hair.

"stop it."

"i would watch you build yourself higher and have greater goals as a god."

"what is wrong with you!?" he quickly pushes himself off of you, whipping his head to look at you with a bewildered face. "are you out of your mind!?" he glares at the way your smile turns sly.

"i would have chosen you, someone with no human heart yet able to feel what it's like to be human," your hand pats his head playfully, snickering when he swats it away roughly.

"you," growling, he turns away from your direction.

"but alas, i'm not patient enough to baby you or anyone else," you shake your head shamefully, shrugging your shoulders. "go do whatever the fuck you want yourself, learn shit for yourself. but that does not mean you can do it alone, dumbass."

"why are you talking like this?" he mumbles, but you can see the way his shoulder trembled in the slightest, no doubt nibbling on his bottom lip to stop himself from something as 'pitiful' as crying. "shut up, i came here to rest, not to listen to your nonsense musings. i had enough of that already."

"well then," you reach out to his shoulder, gently directing him back on your lap. he faces you this time, eyes clenched tight to avoid looking at you, his only pillar in this world. he feels too light headed, whether if it's from your words or the feeling of finally resting after so many years of suffering, he's not too sure. he'd deny the former with everything he has though. but he cannot deny that he feels safe in your haven, here in the comfort of your arms.

"rest, you can think of the next step after you get some shuteye, don't make me knock you out myself."

he clicked his tongue, before it became quiet again.

this time, it's a comfortable silence. nothing like the tension from the first time you met him, nothing like the few times he spent quietly sobbing on your shoulder every time he awakes from a nightmare—nothing like the eerie quietude in the middle of the eye of the storm, waiting for the real disaster to come surging. soon, the boy falls asleep to the warm and loving touch on his head.

in the silence, you whisper words that you could not tell him.

"i would've gone through celestia and the abyss to give you a heart."

you, despite claiming that you will not baby him, held him in a way a parent would towards their child. with gentle hands and feathery touches, and a heart that you would give him if you could.

taglist: crossed out names mens i can't tag you oof

@thedianaclark @blockswon @thenyxsky @crazypriestess @someone-with-wild-imagination @koi-chairowo @shizunxie @smirpsmirp @brookeisqweer @mariataliya @saoiirsee @atsuki-mitsuri @camzpetite @fandangotales @genshinfinatic @chimsblogg @nette-yang @vienettacream @notyuki @shiragi2 @atsukawolfcat @frzenhans @kkazuyass @tartarsaucechi1de @nunontherun @a-simp-with-daddyissues @thetruepair

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pathetichimbos · 6 months

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childhood best friends AU but every out of towner sees the reader and Thomas and assumes that Thomas is the one they should be scared of when in reality almost everyone in town has gotten their ass beat by the reader for being mean to him aka Thomas has scary dog privileges

>>>tw: canon typical insults; aka use of r-slur - also not a tw but f!reader ok thank ily bye<<<

---

It's secret to no one. It's no surprise, no new revelation.

It's common knowledge, something no one even bothers to mention, like how the Browns got their money from a hospital scandal, or the Miller's daughter is on drugs. Just another unspoken rule, like how you shouldn't go to the desolate dirt road just outside of town after 9 o'clock, or into the woods around the farm land when the thing no one sees starts screaming into the night.

Or at least, it's common knowledge in town. So, it really couldn't be his fault, could it?

He was new, just some common Joe that had transferred over from a couple towns over to work at the slaughterhouse when demands got high.

He managed to make friendly with the older generation still running the factory and got along with almost all of the younger men that had joined straight out of high school.

He caught on quick to the unspoken social hierarchy around town, already having a similar one in his own hometown.

He knew who to stick with, and he knew who to avoid, but the one thing he didn't know, the one unspoken rule he didn't catch onto, is that no one bullies Thomas Hewitt.

He had never met him, not formally. He heard his name in passing, and it only took one look at the towering masked man to figure out who he was, and even less time to realize that he didn't want to meet him.

No one spoke to him, and he didn't speak to anyone. He was avoided, and feared. It was easy to see why.

Not only did Thomas look like he could snap a grown man in half with his bare hands, but he was quiet, and weird, nobody seemed to like him. And what better way to get on everyone's good side than by targeting the person no one liked?

So, he starts talking about Thomas behind his back. It's easy, and most people will join in after checking the corners and making sure he's no where in sight.

Damn, He thinks, People must really be afraid of him.

And that leads to another thought. Another very stupid, soon to be regretted, thought.

Let's see how tough this guy really is.

So, one day, in the late afternoon of the scorching Texas Summer, while everyone from the first shift is heading out, back to their respective houses, he sees an opportunity.

There sits Thomas, all alone, on a bench in front of the factory. He seems to be lost in thought, staring at the ground while he apparently waits. For what, the man doesn't care enough to think about.

He stops in his tracks, tapping the arm of one of his buddies, and gestures to Thomas, who either hasn't noticed them, or simply hasn't acknowledged the group.

"Look at this guy," He smirks, his voice well loud enough for Thomas to hear, "He waitin' on his Mommy to come pick him up or some shit?"

The other guy doesn't really react, seemingly uncomfortable with his joke.

"Don't tell me that retard done gave whatever the hell he has." He comments on the man's silence, failing to read the room completely.

Thomas shifts in his seat, letting out a discouraged sigh as he continues looking at the ground, this time looking farther away from the group, his fists clenching in his lap, flexing in frustration.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" He shoves his friend in the arm a bit, looking between him and Thomas, "Or you afraid that freak's gonna get a hold of it?"

"Drop it, man..." He waves him off.

"Why should I? He ain't gonna do shit--"

"Tommy!" He hears you before he sees you, looking over just in time to catch glimpse of you happily jogging over to Thomas, "You waited for me!"

Thomas seems to relax at your presence, nodding as he stands to his full height.

"How was your day?" You ask, standing on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck.

He meets you halfway, leaning down and wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face in your neck and letting out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Tommy you stink." There's a playfulness in your voice as you scrunch your face, hit with the stench of the slaughterhouse that will most definitely linger on your clothes.

He lets out a small chuckle as the two of you pull away, looking down at you.

The man is stunned, completely caught off guard by the sight of someone like you even associating with a man like Thomas.

"Holy shit," He looks back to his buddies, "Who the hell is that?"

"That's Thomas'." His friend simply replies, already knowing what's going through the man's head. He doesn't seem to catch the underlying warning that came with those words.

"What is someone like her doing with something like him?"

"I'm tellin' you man, drop it. She ain't worth the trouble."

"Oh, yea? What's that big freak gonna do? Stop me?"

Finally having enough with his antics, the other men dismiss him, heading back to their own vehicles to head home after a hard day's work.

He, however, takes it upon himself to saunter his way over to your side.

"Well, hey there, Missy..." He starts, clearly ignoring the way Thomas' hands are currently resting on your hips, and yours on his chest, "What's got you so far out this way?"

You blink for a few seconds, looking at the guy is disbelief. Was he really asking why you're here?

"...To walk home with my husband." You deadpan, not missing the way Thomas' grip tightens on you, or the small growl that escapes him.

"Husband?" He raises an eyebrow, looking between the two of you, "Come on, girl, you don't really expect me to believe you actually married a thing like him." He paints his last word with disgust.

It's your turn to raise your eyebrows, tilting your head as you look at him, "A 'thing'?"

"Well, yea..." He seems caught off guard by your reaction, "Don't tell me you actually like him?"

You let out a sigh, your hand tapping Thomas' chest once as you look back up at him, "Thomas, baby, can you go inside and call Charlie? I think I'd like to get a ride today instead of walking."

He gives you a knowing look, shaking his head a bit.

"No, no, it'll be fine, I promise. Just go call him for me please?"

Thomas looks between you and the man, and pulls away with a sigh, walking back into the slaughterhouse.

Now even more confused, the man watches Thomas walk away, completely bewildered by what just happened. Was he missing something, or did he just get really, really lucky?

"Let me ask you something," You catch his attention, your hand coming up to brush over his hair briefly, "...Did your Mama ever teach you manners?"

Thomas isn't even surprised when he comes back outside to find the man sprawled on the ground, crying out as you stand bent over him, his ear caught between your fingers.

"Don't you know it's rude to call people names?" You ask him sternly, "Do you want me to call you names? Is that what you want? Do you want me to start calling you names too?"

"Let me go, you stupid bitch!" He yells, gripping at your wrist, each move he makes only twisting his ear harder in your grip.

You push down a little more, rubbing his face in the dirt, "That's not what I asked."

"No, no, I don't want you to call me names--!"

"Exactly! So what made you think it was okay to start calling him names? Did you think it was funny?"

"Y-Yes, I thought it was funny--!

"Do you think this is funny?"

"No!"

"Say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just let me go--!"

"Like you mean it."

"I'm sorry--!"

A hand on your shoulder catches your attention as you look up, seeing Thomas giving you a deadpan look.

"Okay..." You sigh, letting the man's ear go and standing up straight.

"Oh, you fucking bitch..." He clings to his burning ear, pushing himself up.

"Did you call Charlie?" You ignore him, turning back to Thomas.

He nods, looking back to the man still seething on the ground.

"Ok, let's walk up the road til we see him." You take his hand, pulling his attention back to you.

He nods again, giving your hand a squeeze as you start walking away, continuing on with your day as if nothing had happened.

After all, it's common knowledge, right?

#BAM assault charge #just a silly little drabble #in a silly little mood #*almost rips mans ear off*#*giggles*#youre so silly teehee #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt x you #thomas hewitt x y/n #thomas hewitt x s/o #slashers #slasher fandom #slasher x reader #slasher x you

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sleepysnk · 8 months

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a/n: hi guys!! i finally decided to get out of my slump and make some content for you guys. i hope you all enjoy <33!!

characters: kunigami rensuke, oliver aiku, michael kaiser

warnings: nsfw, breeding kink, creampie, multiple orgasms, choking (kaiser), some rough sex, use of pet names (baby, princess, sweet girl), praising, mentions of pregnancy.

BREEDING HEADCANONS.

kunigami rensuke:

you already know he has an insane breeding kink. kunigami had mentioned it several times before that he would be so down to fill you with his cum. all you had to do was say the word and he would do it. it’s always been a thought on his mind, so who was he to deny you of that wish?

you two were both having a heated moment. you had been going at it with him for hours now and your cunt was so tired from the amount of times he had made you cum. kunigami’s fat dick was splitting you open, making you gasp with every thrust of his hips. he was making you feel so good and there was this voice inside your head telling you to let go for him and let him fill your pretty pussy with his seed. when those words “cum inside me!” slipped from your lips, kunigami almost lost it right then and there. his cock twitched inside you and his eyes grew wide. something had snapped inside of him and his pace was animalistic on your pussy. you were so lost in bliss you didn’t even realize he came inside you. his thick, warm cum leaked into your walls, covering them with white. he couldn’t believe he had done that, but it was one of the hottest things he had ever done.

“fuck.. take my cum, baby. you want more, hm?”

oliver aiku:

he has always made it known that he’s had a breeding kink throughout your relationship. oliver has fantasized for a long time about pushing his thick cum into your womb, getting you pregnant. he’s just always held back because he wanted to make sure you were okay with it first.

oliver had just returned home from a long soccer match. he missed you so fucking much and all he wanted to do was bury his cock into your tight pussy. after all, he had scored the winning goal to lead his team to victory. he wanted to celebrate with his favorite girl, aka you. he could hardly stop himself when he entered you and making you feel good was all he wanted to do. you were the prettiest woman he had ever seen, and the idea of you being swollen with his child in your belly made him want to stay inside. you knew oliver was getting close based off his body language. he was dirty talking in your ear, driving you insane. all you craved was him and you decided to cave and tell him to fill you up. you didn’t care if you got pregnant or not, and when oliver heard that, he completely went in for it. he snapped his hips and began fucking you at such a brutal pace it almost knocked the wind out of you. when he came, he had a rough grip on your thigh it almost left bruises on your skin. he felt so fulfilled seeing his thick cum leaking from your pretty hole.

“fuck.. you’re so good for me, baby. my cum will for sure get you pregnant..”

michael kaiser:

kaiser doesn’t have the biggest breeding kink compared to kunigami or oliver, but it’s definitely there. he’s mentioned before that it would be super hot if he would be able to cum inside your pretty cunt. he knew at some point he wanted to do it, but he was just waiting on it.

you and kaiser had been fucking for quite a long time. he was somewhat pissed because he had unfortunately lost a match against a rival opponent, so he was taking that frustration on your exhausted pussy that had been screaming for some type of relief. his tattooed hand was wrapped nicely around the base of your throat, occasionally squeezing to see what pretty reaction he might get out of you. he was so close to reaching his orgasm. his balls felt heavy and his cock was twitching inside of you. there was a voice inside of his head telling him that this was the moment to finally let go into you. he announced to you that he was gonna cum and when he said he would do it inside, your pussy fluttered around him. he thought you were so fucking sexy getting turned on by the idea of him cumming inside you. he almost lost his composure when finally hit his orgasm, covering your pretty walls with his seed.

“how about we try that again, sweet girl? you think you can take another load?”

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moonbunscafe · 6 months

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Since the members of the circus don't have normal bodies and can't have something as simple as body heat, would Pomni cry at night? Uncomfortable in her body, non-existent coldness running all over her, numb to a temperature that doesn't exist in a fake plastic body. It would probably haunt her, making her scream and cry her frustrations all out in her pillows. But then, as if her prayers being called, Caine passes by. He hears her sobs, coming closer into her space until he reaches her face to face. Her colorful eyes filled with tears and despair, begging for her needs to be met. As the ringmaster of the group and diligent Ai for the humans, how can he ever say no to her? Especially to his favorite jester.

"Warmth, please.. I just want to feel what it's like again." And he obliges.

His digital body creating heat, sending waves of it towards Pomni's direction. Her body, starved from such humanely sensations, immediately jumps over and hugs him, pulling him down into her bed and clutching into him like her life depended on it. She hugs him tightly, refusing the idea of letting go. Wheezing sobs out, her face smushing into his chest with the rest of her body pressed onto his. Sucking up every single warmth created for her greedily. Thanking Caine quietly, she continues her forced cuddle with the teeth man until she falls asleep. The first time she ever properly does so ever since she arrived in this place.

Caine wants to let go after he sees the girl has fallen alseep, but something pulls in him- refusing to let her go. Something about her vulnerability, her digital pearl-like tears dripping from her closed eyes, her embrace- a human gesture so deep and profound to the Ai that he's never experienced before.. How can he ever let that go? Pass up this golden opportunity to indulge in such tempting sensations of Life itself?

Aka Caine making himself warm, Pomni using him as her pillow heater resulting in them cuddling each other every night for 'satisfactory reasons' bc HOW can he let a member of his show not rest well?! That just won't do!! No no!! (he won't ever do this with anyone other than pomni).

#the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #digital circus #tadc pomni #caine x pomni #pomni x caine #showtime #pomni #caine #drabble #rambles #tadc

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sourcherryandsprinkles · 4 months

Note

ethan landry request: y/n and ethan are about to hook up at a halloween party but she goes to get a condom and when she comes back ethan is gone. A little angst since he disappeared on her?

New year is coming very fast, let’s empty the requests!! (aka: blurbs time)

Warnings: 18+, making out, nudity (?)

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

You never understood how people casually sneaking to bedrooms at parties to fuck on a stranger’s bed. Not only was it not very hygienic, but how disgusting must it be for the owner of the bed to come in and see someone else’s body fluids on their sheets.

Yet, here you were, making out on a stranger’s bed and rubbing your body against this cute boy you met an hour ago. His hands were all over your body, eager to grab and explore…in a respectful way. Having enough of his sweetness, you guided his hands to your ass yourself.

Ethan moaned into the kiss, pulling your body closer until you were pressed up against him, in certain areas more than others. He wasn’t experienced. You could tell by the speed his erection was growing under his jeans. It was okay, though. Everyone has a first time.

Your hand traveled under the thin fabric of his navy henley, surprised to find slightly defined muscles. A smile curled on your lips. Nerdy appearances can be misleading. You continued your exploration, then swung a leg over his hips and began to rock your hips against his, making Ethan groan and tighten his grip on your body.

Breaking from him shortly, you giggled at his reaction and unclasped the small hooks of your corset top, making the boy below you groan when he found out you weren’t wearing a bra underneath your costume, the thick material enough to hold the girls. Ethan looked at you for a moment, completely flustered.

You gave him a minute to admire and play with them, then went back to kissing, pressing the ache in your core to his thigh as you rutted against Ethan's thigh, feeling your arousal sticking to your panties. Reaching down his body, you started to unbuckle his belt, but he stopped you.

‘’Before we get too far, I need to tell you something,’’ Ethan confessed, breathless between your kisses. ‘’I…I don't have a condom with me.’’

Typical men.

You looked down at him, his face covered with embarrassment and frustration. You wanted to go on a rant about how he was the one who had to wrap it, therefore he should have one on him at all times, but you kept your mouth shut. Ethan didn’t seem like the kind of guy who was very lucky with the ladies.

Sighing, you climbed down his body. ‘’I’m gonna go ask a friend. I’ll be right back,’’ you said with a sweet smile, quickly slipping back into your corset top and ignoring the smear of lip gloss from all the kissing.

Running down the stairs, you searched for your friends, praying someone had a condom.

After ten minutes, you finally got your hands on one. You went back to the bedroom you had left Ethan in, apologizing for taking so long, but when your eyes fell on the bed, it was empty.

‘’Ethan?’’ you called into the room.

Nothing.

—

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#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry imagine #scream #scream imagine #scream 6

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sassycheesecake · 2 months

Text

A/N: As requested by my followers, here’s my bday special yakuza!Suna smut! (It sounds like a dish lmao, also happy bday to 25 year old me yay) The characters are like in their mid-twenties! P.S. I had way too many ideas for writing this, so I am gonna divide it into two parts :'D

Warnings: non-explicit sexual content, cursing, enemies to lovers trope, mentions of sex

You absolutely despise him.

He’s an infuriating, stupidly attractive, arrogant jerk.

Even his name leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Rintarō Suna.

Henchman of ruthless yakuza boss Shinsuke Kita, he is a highly intelligent strategist with rather unfortunate good looks that could make any girl swoon as soon as he looked their way.

Too bad for all the females that Suna doesn’t do relationships, only fucking with no strings attached.

He’s the only one in the group who brings company back to his room, claiming he has 'needs' and it’s a good stress relief.

You couldn’t care less, it’s not like you have a thing for Suna.

He uses women and throws them away like paper, his body count is probably higher than the Spanish flu.

You’re walking down the dimly-lit hallway, passing by an expensive painting towards his room.

When you get closer, you hear the sound of a moaning woman, along with the constant creaking of a bed.

Immediately, your stomach twists in a weird way and you take deep breaths before hammering your fist against his door.

You hear a startled yelp of the woman and thankfully the creaking stops.

"What?!" Suna snaps loudly from inside his room.

"Suna, get your ass out of there. Kita called for a meeting 20 minutes ago. Send your visitor home and get a move on!" You yell back in frustration.

You wait for about seven minutes before the door opens, and a bright red-headed woman emerges from the room, hair all tousled up with cheeks colored almost as red as her hair.

She is unmistakably beautiful, you unfortunately have to admit.

She looks a little bit guilty when she looks at you, not saying a word as she brushes past you in a hurry to leave.

When you look back inside Suna’s room, the air smells heavy with sex and frustration from Suna's side, not exactly happy that you interrupted his hook-up session.

"You know, you’re such a manwhore." You say, with a voice full of anger and jealousy, after the woman has left.

"And proud of it sweetheart." Suna begins to pull up his discarded boxers and black jeans again, turning away from you, so his broad muscled back faces you.

Along with lots of scars of fights he has been in, his massive tattoo always amazes you.

It’s two giant vipers entangled with each other, mouths open so fangs are on display. At the bottom of the vipers, a red demon skull with a nasty snarl is staring right into the viewers face. Along on top of the skull are two horns, looking like they grew out of the skull. Two arrows go through the vipers, not hurting them but so the reptiles curl around them. It represents deceptive authority.

"Enjoying the view?" Suna's teasing tone rips you out of your daydream.

"You wish. Kita has called us into a meeting and you weren’t picking up your phone when Aran has tried to call you multiple times." You cross your arms in front of your chest as you watch him getting dressed.

Pulling his discarded maroon hoodie over his upper body, he faces you again with his usual bored expression. Aka what you call his resting-bitch-face.

"Let’s go fuckboy. Kita is waiting for us and with every damn second I spend waiting for you, he grows more agitated. Ever since his girl has left him, he’s been more moody, impatient and impulsive than usual." In the last part of your sentence, you drop the volume of your voice.

Suna finally finishes putting on his sneakers and steps out of his room to lock the door and follow you to the conference room.

"I can’t understand how you can have sex with someone who screams so loud, I’d probably get my eardrums busted if my partner screamed so loud." You start the conversation.

"Think you sound better?" Suna grins at you with those beautiful dark emerald eyes of his, while still walking beside you to the conference room.

"I KNOW I sound better! At least I don’t scream like a cat in heat when I orgasm." You huff and fast the pace in your steps.

"I don’t care how loud they are, as long as I can fuck them and they leave, I could give less a shit." The brunette fastens his steps, so he is walking next to you again, making your shoulder brush with his side occasionally.

Silence from your side for a few seconds before Suna starts talking again.

"By the way. Why are you so uptight? Haven’t had a good fuck in a while?" He taunts you as he leans closer to your face.

You ignore his comment, finally arriving at the conference room.

When you open the door, you see Kita leaning his head against his propped up fist on his table and at the sound of the door opening, his brown eyes snap towards you.

His eyes are very cold and it gives you shivers every time you look at him.

Suna shortly follows after you and without any acknowledgment to his boss, he sits in the seat next to Osamu.

"Finally." Kita sighs and leans back in his chair. Finally all of the Inarizaki members have arrived, sitting at the long white-gray marble table, with Kita sitting at the head of the table.

The last unoccupied chair was next to Riseki, who gives you a small smile as you sit down next to him.

Kita stands up and walks around a little bit, starting to talk.

"The reason why I called you all in here is because Inarizaki will soon expand its territory. With Shiratorizawa and Nohebi gone, all that is left is Karasuno and Itachiyama." Some of the members listen intently to him, others like Suna pulling out his phone, typing on it with a bored expression.

"So what are we going to do about them?" Aran asks from Riseki's left side.

"I had a talk with Iizuna last night. We have come to a mutual agreement of joining forces together." Kita answers, stopping at the window to look outside.

"What? Ya serious?! Those snobby bastards only care for their own fuckin' profit!" Atsumu sneers madly.

Kita looks at Atsumu through his peripheral vision briefly before returning his gaze back outside.

"I know that some of you may have a problem with that, but Karasuno has gotten too much power in the last two years. Sawamura is stealing most of our customers away and by joining forces together with Itachiyama, we will be able to take over half of Japan, soon maybe the whole of Japan. Eliminate them one by one, pray you do not disappoint me.”

“What about their newest product ‘Spikedopamine’? I heard that’s the newest shit in town. Is that why our sales have dropped so much?” Akagi states, who sits on your right.

Ginjima and Atsumu who sit across from you, start laughing hysterically at the name that they chose for the newest drug they produced. The name-founder Kageyama used to play volleyball back in high school, where most of the crows have met and formed their group.

“That’s the stupidest name I ever heard!” Atsumu manages to say while getting tears in his eyes.

Ginjima and Atsumu keep on laughing until Omimi shoots them a sharp glare, while Kita looks at them with an undefined expression.

Ginjima immediately stops, while Atsumu’s laugh turns into a nervous chuckle, stopping after a while as well.

It’s quiet for a while before Kita starts to speak again.

“I will divide you into teams and you will all work together with Itachiyama. Iizuna and I already made the teams.”

Kita walks back to his chair to sit down and reaches for the few folders that Aran has slid over to his boss.

“Team 1, the Surveillance Team. Osamu, you will go with Akagi, Kosaku, Omimi and Komori from Itachiyama. He’s a black-hat hacker, he can help you hack into their security system and download important files, steal information and hack into their bank accounts.”

The names of the men that were called begin to stand up, since Osamu sits on Kita’s left side at the head of the table, he grabs the folder that Kita has provided him.

“And Team 2, which will be the Assault Team, will consist of Atsumu, (Y/N), Suna and Sakusa from Itachiyama. He's a weapons specialist, expert interrogator and master strategist.” Kita slides the folder to you, since Suna is still on his phone, showing it to Atsumu, who grins mischievously at the screen.

“Aran, Riseki and Ginjima, you stay here at headquarters, in case someone gets injured, you can take over. That will be all.” Kita, Aran, Riseki and Ginjima begin to get up to return to their rooms while you and your assigned team remain seated.

Well this is fucking great.

You’re stuck with a psycho, a manwhore and an arrogant jackass for God knows how long, until you all bring the downfall for Karasuno.

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jenna-ortega · 5 months

Text

history of man

pairing - joelmiller x femalereader ratings - 18+ word count - 4k warnings - arranged marriage AU, dubious con(the whole arranged marriage against readers will thing), angst, brat!reader, softdom!joel, kidnapping, jumpscare!david, salt lake but a very different salt lake than the games (aka no cannibalism) , panic attack authors note - thank you for waiting for this! i really hope you enjoy it, no smut in the first chapter :( (ik boooo) but there will be smut to come. cause you know joel miller is nothing if not a seducer of woman. comment, and let me know what you think! lets have a discourse.

SUMMARY - You thought coming to silver lake would be better than your previous QZ living situation. Come to find out, you had more than freedom waiting for you on the other side of the wall. You had Joel Miller, whether you wanted him or not.

series masterlist

Fuck this. Fuck him. They hold you hostage then offer you food and water? This shit doesn’t feel right. Your whole body turns away from him. Pushing the glass further from you as you pout. “Drink.” “No.” “Now. The growl in his voice startles you. For someone who swears they aren’t going to hurt you, it feels a hell of a lot like he is. Your eyes find his, now dark with a scowl on his face. “I’m not gonna tell ya again, girl.” You scoff. “What…you’re gonna force me?”

Nothing you’ve been through thus far could have prepared you for this.

It’s dark. So, so dark.

“Get off me!” you screamed while trashing your body in the man's arms. Earning you an elbow to the side that made you groan at the harsh hit. Your body trembling, wishing you could see through the pitch black area ahead.

You arrived at Silver lake only a short time ago, not realizing how much of a mistake this stop in your long journey would be. You only made it a few hours into nightfall trying to observe the town from the far woods when a bunch of men caught you from behind. Now dragging you across the snowy town and making a scene of it.

“I will KILL you!” Your empty threats made the man dragging your left arm along laugh, causing you to turn your head and give him a nasty look.

“Hear that, ted?” the mystery man nodded his head to the man on your right, “we caught a feisty one. Know just who’d like this one…” the men disregarded your attempts at kicking, laughing as they went back and forth as if this was just another day.

You made it to what looked like some sort of run down restaurant, your brain working over time to think of every possible scenario that could happen here. Worst is you’re dead. Best is they feed you, cloth you, and tell you this was all a prank. But you doubt it’s the latter.

You huff out a small ouch as you’re being thrown into a makeshift jail cell at the back of the place you surveyed earlier, hitting the grown so hard dust particles float in the bright white light casting above you.

“Don’t move.” the taller man shouts down at you,

Your eyes roll at the request, “Nowhere to go in here, jackass.” you cross your arms and death glare at him from below.

“Fucking bitch,” his hand grabs your hair from in between the bars and drags you to it. Your whole body moved to follow his hand, trying to shield yourself from the pinching pain,

“HEY!, get off her, man. You know they’ve gotta be in one piece.” the other man warns, thankfully giving your scalp a break from the pull.

“Whatever.” he scoffs, turning to walk out with his buddy. Both of their backs towards you. You slap the cell bars and scream in frustration. Quickly realizing you needed to figure out your next move. You need to stay alive, you need to get the fuck out of here. Your body pushes itself against the wall, head falling back as you begin to silently cry. Nobody here but you and your thoughts for the foreseeable future. Your head falls against the wall, and your eyes close. Forcing yourself into slumber.

—

Drool begins to dry on your face before you are suddenly awakened by the loud slam of a door. You gasp, waking up and forgetting this is now where you have been staying. A cold, dirty cell floor. You look up quickly and your eyes find a taller man, one you haven't seen before; walking slowly towards you. You instinctively crawl to the further edge of the cell.

“Stay back.” you warned, as if you had any upper hand in this situation.

“m’sorry to scare you” the strangers hands raise in defense as he stopped walking towards you. “Just wanted to check on you.” He stands with his arms to his side now. Waiting on your next move.

“Check on me?” you begin, voice dripping with malice. “I was just kidnapped and thrown into this fucking cell.” his eyes follow your body as you kneel to stand up. Wiping down your pants to get the dust off. Fully standing, now closer to his height.

His face is flat and stern as he begins to observe how you are acting. Deeply in his own thoughts as he looks down at the ground, only to be brought back by your incessant nagging,

“HELLO! Can you even hear me?”

“I want to help you”

You’re confused by his bold statement, but accept his help by nodding slowly as you walk towards him in your cell.

“You’re not leaving this cell until they think you’re calm enough…and you’re not leaving this town. At least not alive, I’m sorry.”

“What does that even mean? What do you guys even want from me?”

“It’s not the right time.” the man turns on his heels and begins walking out, leaving you more pissed than you originally were.

“Please, please don’t leave yet!” you whined,

He turns his head over his shoulder slightly to acknowledge your plea, his back still to you.There is a comfortable silence until he breaks it, “What’s your name?”

You go back and forth with yourself for a little while, wondering if you should be honest. You have to get out of here, and maybe he is your best bet. If you play nice with him, maybe you can bring his guard down enough to get released and escape. You’ll play this role for now, and you tell him your name in a silent whisper.

He nods in acknowledgement, and you throw his question back to him. Another silence looming before he breaks it,

“Joel.”

—

It’s been hours.

The metallic clang echoed through the dimly lit room as a new man fumbled with rusty keys. You squinted at the sudden sound as he swung the creaking cell door open. His average figure standing at the opening of your cell, beckoning you to come with him.

“About time," you muttered, rubbing your eyes and standing up.

The man flashed a wry smile, his reddish beard framing weathered features. "Apologies for the delay. We don't get many visitors here in Silver Lake, and security is tight."

You stay silent as you give him a shy smile. Following him out of the room, and close on his trail as you walk an appropriate distance away from him as he brings you outside. It’s an oddly calm vibe, and you begin to overthink. Is this your chance to run, he’s giving you so much freedom…would he be able to even catch you? He does look kind of older, skinner than the other men you’ve had the pleasure of interacting with. As if he reads your mind, he breaks your thought pattern,

“Sorry about my guards. They can be protective of this place.” he eyes your bruises,

“What is this place?”

The man gestured for you to follow again as he led you through town. "Silver Lake is more than just a town. It's a haven for those who survived the apocalypse, a place where people from different walks of life came together to rebuild what was lost."

As you walked, you noticed families huddled in makeshift homes, the sounds of children playing echoing through the air. The aroma of cooking wafted from a communal kitchen, and people greeted you with nods as you both passed.

"It's been a tough journey, but we've managed to create something special here," the man continued. "We have families, we have friends, we’re a community"

“A community that throws people into dark dungeons and leaves them there for days?” you bite back, causing him to stop in his tracks, turning to you.

“I am very sorry about that. Let’s start over.” he holds his hand out for you to shake, “I’m David. And who might you be?”

You give him a funny look, face scrunching in disgust, not wanting to do whatever this is. But you remember what Joel had told you. Remember your plan to play along.

You shook his hand and told him your name, earning a smile from him, “It’s very nice to meet you.”

The air was thick with a sense of uncertainty the rest of the walk. You both ended up at a rather small house, the look of it just like every single other one. As you approached the house, the wooden boards creaked beneath your feet. The windows, covered with tattered curtains, revealed only glimpses of the dim interior. A sturdy figure with a graying beard stood on the porch, his eyes scrutinizing the surroundings.

"David," Joel called out, a tight smile breaking through the gruff exterior. "Wasn’t expectin’ you so soon."

“Thought I’d bring her here, have her rest up by you. Get acclimated to the community.”

You’re confused by David’s words. Was Joel one of his guards? Like the other two men who had caught you? You have so many questions you wanted to ask, but you were insecure. Didn’t know if these were people you could really trust or not, and you just wanted to make it out of here. You had to push through, had to endure whatever the hell this was. Just until you were able to make it out.

David begins to introduce you both, but Joel raises his hand stopping David’s words– “We’ve met.”

David looks at Joel in a peculiar way, a way you couldn’t quite decipher yet. Then back at you, grinning widely, “Glad you’re taking this so well, Joel.” he walks back off down the stairs, turning back just once to shout, “You’re in good hands!”

You sway back and forth slowly, hands crossing over the other as your gaze is glued to the ground. You don’t know what to think, what to do, what to say…

“You can come in.”

—

You’ve been sitting in silence for the past 30 minutes while Joel is simmering something on the stove. His kitchen table is small, and placed in the corner of his modest sized kitchen. It all looks so..normal. So much like how it was before. You watch Joel as he stirs the big pot, banging the spoon handle on the side to watch the sauce drip back down into the pot. He brings the spoon back down onto the counter, turning towards you to sit. You rip your gaze away from him, pretending you haven’t been observing his every move.

“You’re nervous?” His voice is soft. He is still standing at this point, noticing you flinch as he goes to sit. You get the feeling he isn’t bad…but at this point, you don’t know what to think. You look up at him, biting your lip as you stay silent.

“m’not gonna hurt you.” he reminds you. Joel grabs a cup from his counter, turning on the faucet and pouring you water. Water. You haven’t seen a stable source of water in…oh god it’s been long.

Joel takes note of the glint in your eyes as he pours you a cup, taking a deep breath in relief. Seeing you nervous only makes the seed of guilt in his stomach grow. The soft look of fear you’ve had plastered on your face since he’s seen you makes him angry. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t have to do this.

“Here.” He sets the water down in front of you, sitting in the seat next to you.

Fuck this. Fuck him. They hold you hostage then offer you food and water? This shit doesn’t feel right. Your whole body turns away from him. Pushing the glass further from you as you pout.

“Drink.”

“No.”

“Now.

The growl in his voice startles you. For someone who swears they aren’t going to hurt you, it feels a hell of a lot like he is. Your eyes find his, now dark with a scowl on his face.

“I’m not gonna tell ya again, girl.”

You scoff.

“What…you’re gonna force me?”

“f’i have to.”

“Then go ahead.”

You hear him grumble to himself, words that resemble “fucking stubborn.” as he pushes out his chair, pushing it back in roughly. He slams a bowl down on the counter, causing you to gasp. You watch as he scoops a few spoonfuls of food into the bowl, turning abruptly to slam it down in front of you. Rushing off after he does. Leaving you to ponder your own thoughts. You’re looking down at the steamy bowl of what looks like a stew as you hear the front door slam open and closed. He’s left you. Has he gone to tell David about your interaction? Shit. You should have listened to him, you wanted to play this smart. Now for all you know this will be the last bowl of food you’ll have in a while. Will they bring you back down to the cell? Your thoughts frighten you into eating scoops of the food, taking huge gulps of water. Your belly burns from the nutrients you’ve been neglecting yourself for weeks. You sip the last remnants of liquid from the bowl and get up to set it down into the sink. With Joel gone, you were free to roam the house. But you just felt like a scared little mouse, too afraid to disturb anything not familiar.

You’ve decided against your better judgment to take a look at the place. Just until someone eventually comes back to take you away.

You look around the living room first, a small brown couch, enough to fit three bodies comfortably sits directly across from a fireplace. A mantle with nothing but dust lays atop of the fireplace, not homey at all. You inspect the room, finding nothing that tells you about the man who left you here. You decide to move on.

There are 4 stairs that lead up into what looks like a small wing of the house, the last square footage you have left to survey. To your left, a small bathroom. A large tub, one that reminds you of yours from home. Bubble baths and candle lit nights fog your memory. You surprise yourself as you feel water run down your eyes. Tears. Shit. This is all too much.

Just a few feet down, there’s an empty room with nothing but the sunlight of the open window shining through. Directly across, there’s another room. You break through that doorway and find a bed, a nightstand, and what looks to be a 6 drawer dresser filling the room. So empty, yet you wonder how he lives. You walk towards the drawers, opening up the top left one to find a few pairs of flannels. Of course. You open the top right and find it empty. He must travel light.

You get bored and begin walking to the bed, sitting atop of it to feel how soft the sheets are. You haven’t sat down on a bed in forever. So comfortable. The sheets stretched over the bed softer than you remember sheets being. The pillows are fluffier than you ever felt. The blanket is so warm…so…inviting. Your body does it before your brain thinks of it. Crawls under the covers. Your head hits the soft pillow, and you feel your eyes closing and your brain settling down. Your shoulders relax into the mattress, and your breathing evens out. You’re gone before you know it.

…You feel a thump on the bed that startles you awake, darkness engrosses the room and you thrash in bed to find your bearings.

“Joel?” you rub your eyes and see him standing in front of the bed, you look down to see fresh clothes lying next to you.

“Take a shower. We got somewhere to be.”

—

You are trying to catch up to Joel as he’s walking ahead of you, “Slow down!” you shouted to him, stumbling over your feet as you grabbed his arm to stay up.

“We’re already late,”

“For what?”

He huffs, but begins walking slower for you. Both of you now silently walk into the same restaurant you were kept at just a day ago. Your body goes rigid as you think of all the things that will happen. You fucked up. You did this to yourself, you didn’t follow the—your thoughts pause as you see the place crawling with people. Like a huge get together, chatter and laughs bounce off the walls. It’s so…alive.

The crowd of people part, and all eyes are now on you and Joel. David at the forefront of the room. “Welcome, Welcome! We’ve been waiting for you two.” he laughs as he walks past the sea of people to you both, grabbing onto Joel’s shoulder and smiling widely, “Hopefully you were late for a fun reason,” he winks at you two and you shudder, what the fuck was this guy assuming? You rip your hand off Joel’s arm, patting down your dress and making note of all the faces in the room. Your eyes catch the two men from your capture, hand and hand with ladies. How the hell did they land those girls? They were absolute dicks to you. But as you rip those men apart in your head, you notice everyone is coupled up. Kids in the mix as well. Maybe the community wasn’t terrible…seems family oriented at least.

You follow Joel to the front of the room, wanting to stick by him and not venture off too far. He seemed to be a rigid asshole sometimes, but he was an asshole that didn’t hurt you yet. You stand close to him, arms bumping as you look up at him. He looks down at you, smiling with his eyes turned down, a worried look etched on his face. Maybe he was as anxious at public events as you were.

“Please, everyone welcome our newcomer into silver lake!” David introduced you by name to the room, the whole room saying hello directly towards you in a cult like manner.

“Uh–Hi everyone?” you stuttered, heart beating so fast the pounding began to overtake your hearing.

David’s speech began again, mentioning new updates and new hunts their men had succeeded at. You zoned out again, only brought back to the present by Joel nudging you gently, your head batting to look towards David who had beckoned you to stand on the other side of Joel, sandwiched between the two men. You smiled and nodded, doing as you were told for this one instance. Put on the spot as you got comfortable in your new position, David called upon you,

“She has been a wonder, ladies and gentlemen. An absolute prize. That’s why I think we should all welcome her with open arms.”

You stood by David's side, feeling the curious eyes of the community upon you. Joel, a stern figure with a rugged exterior, stood nearby. The unease in the room was palpable as David continued his introduction.

"And this, my friends, is a crucial time for us. Unity is our strength, and it's my pleasure to announce that we have a new bond to forge. In the days to come, our friend here will be joining hands with Joel."

Your heart skipped a beat, panic creeping into every fiber of your being. You exchanged a wary glance with Joel, whose expression remained stoic. David's words echoed in your ears like an impending storm.

"Joel," David continued, "our only hermetic guard, will stand as a pillar of strength for our newcomer. Together, they will contribute to the resilience of Silver Lake and ensure the prosperity of our community."

A lump in your throat formed, the weight of the announcement settling in. Arranged marriage—a relic of a bygone era—now thrust upon you in the midst of survival. Your eyes darted between David and Joel, the gravity of the situation sinking in.

"Survival often demands sacrifices," David said, his tone filled with conviction. "And in this new chapter, we come together to build a stronger, more resilient future."

The room buzzed with whispers, but you could only hear the thudding of your own heart. Joel's gaze met yours, and you saw a glimmer of understanding in his eyes, as if he, too, had been thrust into this against his will.

As the community welcomed you both with a mix of cheers and polite applause, you felt the walls closing in. The air grew heavier, and your breaths quickened. This was worse than the cell. This was worse than your impending death. This was something you could have never seen coming.

As David's words lingered in the air, a suffocating tension settled over the room. The weight of the announcement hung over you like a dark cloud, and you couldn't bear the collective gaze of the community any longer. Without a word, you turned on your heels and bolted from the room, breaths coming in erratic gasps.

The cold night air hit you as you stumbled into the open, the dim glow of lanterns casting long shadows over the uneven ground. Panic gripped you like a vise, and you ran blindly through the narrow pathways, seeking solace in the darkness.

"Wait!" Joel's voice echoed behind, his footsteps closing in. You refused to stop, the desperation to escape overwhelming reason. But he caught up, his hand gently gripping your shoulder. "Stop."

You whirled around, chest heaving, eyes wide with fear. "I can't do this, Joel."

He stepped closer, his gaze softening. "None of us asked for this. But we're survivors, and sometimes survival means making tough choices."

You shook your head, the panic escalating. "I won't be someone's pawn. I won't let them control my life."

Joel's expression softened, and he pulled you into a hesitant embrace. "Shh, babygirl, calm down. Running won't change anything."

The unexpected term of endearment caught you off guard, but the gentleness in his voice began to chip away at the walls of panic. You trembled against him, the tension in your body slowly dissipating.

"We can figure this out," he murmured, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "You're not alone here. We'll find a way out. Told ya I wouldn’t hurt ya."

You took a shaky breath, the warmth of his embrace offering a strange comfort in the midst of chaos. The reality of your shared predicament began to sink in, and you reluctantly nodded. "I don't want this, Joel.."

He pulled back slightly, locking eyes with you. "I know. You gotta smarten up if you want to survive. No more being stubborn."

You wipe your tears from your cheeks, sniffling as you nod at him. “Okay.”

“If we want to get out of this together. There are some rules ya gotta follow.” Joel began, surprising you with how fast the gentleness in his tone shifted into something more stern…

“This is not a fairy tale. It's about survival. Our survival."

You nodded, a bitter taste settling in your mouth. The harsh truth of your situation echoed in Joel's words.

"First rule," he continued, his eyes piercing through the darkness. "We stick together. There's safety in numbers, and in this world, trust is a luxury we can't afford. You stay close, and you follow my lead."

You swallowed hard, the gravity of the arrangement sinking in. "Fine," you mumbled, my defiance momentarily subdued.

"Second rule," Joel continued, unfazed. "We present a united front. Whether you like it or not, we're bound by this arrangement. Any sign of discord, and it puts both of us at risk. We can't afford internal conflicts."

You bristled at the demand, frustration bubbling to the surface. "I didn't sign up for this, Joel. I won't be some indentured servant."

He narrowed his eyes, his patience wearing thin. "You're not the only one dealing with shit. I won’t touch you, I won’t make you any kind of servant. You follow my rules, and you don’t fuck with our chance at getting out. Understand me?"

Reluctantly, you nodded, conceding to the harsh reality that enveloped you.

“I said, do you understand me?” he repeats, expecting an answer from you.

“I understand,” you whispered to him, lips curving down as you felt tears swell in your eyes.

You met his gaze, defiance flickering. "I won't play house just to appease the crowd."

He sighed, the weariness in his eyes suggesting a history of battles fought and lost. "You don't have to like it, but you have to do it. It's the only way we make it out of this mess alive."

As Joel's rules echoed in the silence that followed, you couldn't shake the feeling that your autonomy had been sacrificed on the altar of survival.

taglist - @joeldjarin @love-affair-with-fandoms @punkshort @movievillainess721 @fragilefable

#joel miller x you #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #arranged marriage #arrangedmarriage!joel

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borzoilover69 · 1 year

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Something that gets me everytime I think about the harlenglishes is how incredibly harsh they are on themselves, incredibly self critical. The simple fact that the majority of the fandom writes them off as silly little guys does a number on me. I want you to take a look at these two pieces of text. Both of them are from where Jade and Jake are having a moment, and using proxies to voice their thoughts. Notice how they react to themself being upset. ( Jade is herself, Dirk is Jakes apparition of Dirk, aka BGD )

Jade and Jake put others over themselves and think they’re seeing the bigger picture when they’re not. They’re incredibly isolated kids trying to appear relatively normal. They’re incredibly judgmental, and therefore feel judged, and put up massive barriers and walls to hide it all from their friends and subsequently first time readers because they never directly mention or call attention to it! They break down incredibly messily because they bottle it all up to deal with in private later!

Jake is so incredibly hard on himself, and so is Jade. They grit their teeth and smile because they feel incredibly selfish for having messy feeling moments. And the thing is, they can be incredibly selfish! They are looking out constantly for what’s best for everyone, and sometimes it’s not what the others think! That’s what’s so tragic, is because when they do break down so messily, they beat themselves up for it. Look here:

These are both screenshots of them telling, no, demanding that they toughen up and do what “needs to be done”. But finding themself unable to because they’re so overcome with emotion. It’s especially interesting in Jakes case because he uses his best friend as a proxy to do a mental fucking cartwheel and hype himself up but also to cut through his bullcrap with the one friend that he believes saw him truly, that he believed understood himself, which is why in part BGD is so uncomfy for him! Because it’s just the uncomfortable truths or thoughts he wouldn’t admit to himself in his own skin! Jake is a master of deception, and this is just one of his outlets!

I’m never getting over how terrible BGD was to Jake while he was breaking down, or how Jade yelled and screamed at herself when she was reincarnated as a sprite. A lot of people use BGD as a merit to point out that DirkJake is abusive, since he’s one of the splinters we see Jake actively talk to, but what they don’t get is that BGD is just Jake thinking to himself “What would Dirk think? What would Dirk say?” and believing it so truly that it can on instance become realities! Dirk isn’t really like this, he may be a bit clingy, but Jake acknowledges that in conversation with Roxy, and is moreso concerned rather than upset about it. In the prison cell with BGD, it’s just Jake berating himself under the guise of what his best friend on what he SHOULD do, versus what he wants to do. Because Jake questions himself constantly.

Jake very much relies on social awareness even though he can be pretty bad at it. So if he believes his friends have an image of him, he will be daunted by how to live up to it, and if he believes his friends hate him, his thoughts and BGD will reflect that. Hes essentially created a remote echo chamber to amplify his own thoughts, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

The harlenglishes just can’t cope with knowing. They minimise their messy and not proper emotions to try and be the bigger person and do what’s right, even if it’s incredibly unhealthy, and it just ends up in a big knot of feeling incredibly overcome by emotions, and also incredibly frustrated they can’t live up to their own expectations and thus looping to fueling hte emotions. Jake is incredibly self aware and immensely critical for just being a kid. Jade is incredibly self aware and is hard on herself ever since her grandfather died and I think Jake was too in a way.

#homestuck #hom3stuck #homestuck meta #jake english #jade harley #jade hs #jake hs #everyday i wake up #sobs and punches wall #borzoi talks #borzoi meta

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starry-eyes-love · 5 months

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Chapter 6- You're Forever Mine

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summary | Things finally boil to a steaming head between you and Joel. After much discussion Joel decides to spend the night sleeping next to you to help calm you. He reads you a steamy bedtime story and then holds you after you wake up from a horrible nightmare (please read warnings about nightmare below before reading). You get a major dark glimpse into the reader's past and how she met Joel (he's the savior in her story).

Important Note: This chapter has a lot of very graphic scenes that are mentioned that happen to the f!reader during a dreamstate nightmare flashback. If you don’t want to read about these types of details, then skip the flashback scene at the Boston QZ five years prior in the story. You can still understand the story without reading the flashback scene. See warnings below.

Words: 12.0 K (I’m not sorry)

“Baby, if you can’t see why, then I’ve really screwed up. If ya can't see why I want you darlin’, then I don’t deserve you in my life. I’m not Dave honey, I never have been, nor ever will be. If you can’t see that then please honey, just let me go and see my daughter. I don’t want to be in a world where you think I’m a monster. Please.”

Warnings | 18+, Minors DNI for whole story

Flashback: Dark content during flashback with David (aka Dave): language, vio!ence, abu$e mentions several types, name calling, degrading references, death, b!ood and gore (please see note above, you have been warned this is very dark content).

Rest of story: Smut, language, Joel begging (it deserves it’s own warning), heavy knife references, references to abuse, tension (a lot scattered about), Joel referencing death and death of his daughter, angst, f fingering, m handjob, a lot of smutty parts (you have been warned), use of the word ‘love’, Joel and the reader being an ass (hey it’s relationship dynamics), Joel reading smut out loud to F!Reader (yeah, we’re doing it), fluffy parts sprinkled in, breast feeding kink via smutty book read from Joel, size kink, daddy kink, age gap (not disclosed), body reference (without being too specific), g spot reference, name calling (baby, honey, little girl, etc.)…and I think that is it. Finally the heat is turning up with these two. Enjoy :)

Story

Joel was wound up tight, stressed, and not in a good way. This thing between the two of you was starting to boil to a head and he didn't like it. He hated this back and forth that was going on. He hated that he didn't know from one day to the next if he was going to scream at you for fucking up his life, even in the best possible way. Or if he was going to give in and fuck you, just to get out all of his pent up frustration. God, he needed to relieve himself. It had been way too long, and this constant edging between the two of you was giving him the worst case of blue balls that he could ever imagine. He wanted to bury himself so badly inside of you, throw caution out of the window and give in to his body's needs to have you. That was what it was now, a deep rooted need to release all of his anxiety, anger, and pent up frustration of trying to be the good guy for you.

Joel wasn't a good man, he knew it. Sure, at one time he could be gentle, tender, and loving. He suspected that those emotions were still buried deep inside of him. But ever since the world went to shit, Joel had to survive. He had to kill people in order to survive, and he'll do it again if he must. But you, you were different. You were kind, soft, gentle, but also a fierce woman. There was no one on this Earth that Joel feared more than you, especially when you were pissed off at him.

Joel saw first hand how you handled frustration. You'd bottle it up inside and then explode later. He'd seen how you’d kill people with your knife, how you'd keep stabbing them long after they were dead to release that anger that you had. An anger that he was just starting to understand. People wronged you in life, took your innocence far before they should have. This fact made Joel want to scream and see red whenever he thought about it. People had prayed upon you, took advantage of you at your weakest, and he wasn't ever going to let that happen again.

Joel also hated seeing you feel weak. It didn't bother him that you couldn't do everything, hell Joel couldn't grow plants, and yet here you were making it work slowly in the house. You had your strengths; the ability to find things hidden, anticipate things, and even take a mothering role with Ellie. But one of your best abilities, Joel thought, was your ability to get underneath his goddamn skin and drive him crazy. This fact alone pissed him off, but also excited him because he loved your fire, attitude, and passion in life. The worst part, you knew you had this effect on him.

Joel was lost in thought, thinking about you when you were showing Ellie how to string together a bow and how to sharpen a knife. God, it turned him on to hear you direct her on how to stab and kill people. He knew that you could survive in this world, even if he wasn’t around. Most men wouldn’t like this type of independence or fierceness, but for Joel, this was the biggest turn on. The only thing that he wished for was for your nightmares to quit haunting you.

"And you turn it like this to secure it" you said to Ellie, showing Ellie how to finish attaching the string for a bow.

"That's so fucking cool y/n. Joel, you did a great job showing her this," Ellie said looking at the bow amazed.

"Not my doing Ellie, that's something she knew all on her own." Joel said, taking a slow sip of the whiskey that he was holding, a small find he got from the cellar outside.

"Seriously? You knew something Joel didn't?" Ellie asked, looking at you shocked.

"Who do you think taught him how to thread it?" you said with a smirk.

Ellie glanced over at Joel, who started to blush and rub the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Don't make fun of me darlin’" he said, shaking his head and laughing at how shocked Ellie looked that you had actually taught him how to do something.

"But Joel, I thought you like knew everything," Ellie said, pushing his buttons on purpose.

"I don't know everything, never have kid. And you,” he said shaking a finger at you, “Stop that damn smiling and laughing over there." You were quietly sitting on the floor next to Ellie, softly laughing to yourself at Ellie's statement, watching her push Joel’s buttons. The amusement of this entire situation was just as much for your enjoyment as it was hers.

"Didn't say anything" you said, trying to keep a straight face, but failing miserably.

"Look here smartass, I may not know how to make what you're doing" he said waving his hand, jestering towards the bow. "But you better believe I know how to shoot that darn thing." And with that you stopped laughing and got up. Shooting a bow was always a touchy subject, one that Joel knew you had.

You walked to the kitchen and started washing your hands, not that you needed to, but it was something to do to get your hands to calm down at the memory. Joel could sense your unease as Ellie continued teasing him. Joel was only half listening to her, the person he was paying attention to was you. He saw the way your breathing spiked and became labored, he also saw how your hands were shaking when you went past him. At the sink he saw you vigorously rub your hands underneath the water, acting like you were trying to wash off the signs of blood, which he knew was yours that you were seeing and remembering. Damn it, he thought, she’s having another fucking flashback.

As Ellie continued talking, Joel stood up and approached you slowly in the kitchen. When he approached you and saw that you were still rubbing your hands fast together, scrubbing hard and not acknowledging him, he slowly wrapped his arms around you. He placed his hands on top of yours under the water and said "leave it baby. He's not here. Come on.” Joel then shut off the water, took your hands that were still trembling, and turned you into his chest. As he slowly caged you in his arms he began to slowly rub his hand up and down your back, humming that little tune to you that he did all of those years before.

What you didn't realize was that you were shaking so bad in Joel’s arms that Ellie had noticed. Ellie approached the pair of you and said "Joel is she ok? She's shaking really bad and she looks like she's-"

"She's fine Ellie, don't worry” you heard Joel say. When you glanced up at him you felt a single tear leave your eye, and a horrible tremor went through your body at the memory of the last time you attempted to shoot a bow. “You're ok, shh I got you" Joel said, while tucking you gently back into his chest, and wrapping you up in his arms. “Just listen to my voice baby, just me” and then he began slowly humming that song to you again.

As he continued to comfort you, you felt him gently sway you back and forth, rubbing your back, and planting kisses to the top of your head. Your mind was so far in the past that you didn’t hear Joel tell Ellie to give you guys a few minutes alone. The only thing that you could hear was the ringing in your ears at a memory that you wanted to forget. ‘Stupid bitch. *Smack* I'll teach you a fucking lesson. *Smack, Smack.*’ Even after all these years, you still could feel the sting on your skin from the abuse Dave did. As soon as you involuntarily flinched at the memory of a hard hand to your face, you felt Joel tighten his grip around you while saying "it's gone. He's gone. You're safe with me baby, shhh. It's ok," and then he went back to humming that song that you loved until the memory of Dave left you once again.

You didn't know how long you stood there embraced in Joel’s arms before you heard him say "do ya want me to sleep next to you tonight baby?" When you didn’t answer he pulled away and then gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. "Might make the bad nightmares stay away if I sleep next to you honey," he continued in a soothing voice. You had to admit, not sleeping next to Joel has made the nightmares come back with a vengeance. You haven't hardly slept in weeks, which meant you were more susceptible to bad dreams and horrible flashbacks.

"I don't want to be a burden on you," you said.

"Ain't a burden love, never have been."

"Joel I-" you began to say before Joel interrupted you.

"Come on, let's get you tucked into bed darlin,' you look exhausted." Joel then took your hand and led you into your bedroom, holding your hand the entire way. Once inside of your bedroom he quickly got you situated sitting on the bed. “Hang on a sec,” he said and then disappeared back down the hall. After a few moments Joel reappeared with a worn out old flannel. He handed it to you and said "here, put this on. It’s mine and I know you like the way I smell."

Slightly embarrassed and turning a shade of red you took his flannel and said “thanks.” You did like how Joel smelled, but you didn’t think he knew it. “We both are getting comfortable tonight love” he said as he chucked a set of comfy pajamas for himself on the bed.

"Wow, aren't we both domestic" you said, shaking your head at seeing Joel change into an old T-shirt and fuzzy pajama pants.

“Yeah, well, I need it. And by the looks of ya, so do you darlin.’” Joel smirked as he unbuckled his pants and slowly took them off while looking at you. You knew you needed to turn away, but when you noticed Joel removing his boxers, you couldn't help but stare. God he was big. You could see that even in his softened state that his cock hung heavy between his legs. You didn't realize that you were staring with a slightly open mouth until you heard his Southern drawl.

“Baby, nothin’ good comes outta you looking at me like that. Come on, eyes up here darlin.’” Joel said teasing you.

You immediately felt embarrassed at what you were doing, starring at a grown man’s crotch. Yes he was your boyfriend, but you didn’t have that type of relationship with him at the moment. “Oh God Joel, I’m so sorry” you said, burying your head in your hands and turning 20 shades of red.

Joel chuckled and said “Baby, I love you looking. But I don't think it's the proper answer right now to our problems of lack of sleep between the both of us. So come on, let's get you changed and tucked into bed honey.” When you didn’t move Joel walked up to you and gently grabbed your hands and said “Come on, arms up for me.” When you slowly raised your arms above your head, Joel lifted your shirt up as you kept your eyes closed.

“Angel, open your eyes and look at me” he gently whispered. When you did, you found that he met you with dark intense eyes, like a wolf who just found his prey. As you looked at him you noticed that he lightly licked his lips while he eye fucked you. You noticed that he slowly looked down your chest, tracing the curve of your breasts with his eyes. When you unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor, Joel just about fainted.

“Fuuck” Joel growled, looking at you standing before him with nothing covering your chest. If he was a better man he'd turn around and give you privacy, but he wasn't. It had been too long since he had a beautiful woman standing before him half naked. When you slowly bent down and pulled off your pants and panties, Joel almost came right there on the spot.

As you stood in front of Joel completely naked, you found yourself slowly tracing your hands along your curves. You cupped your breasts and said “do you want to touch them?” as you slowly twisted your nipple while letting out a soft moan.

“Baby, you- you can’t do this. Fuck woman, I’m-I’m not gonna be able to-” Joel said, slowly reaching out to touch you, but stopping midway before he did. He wanted to put his hands overtop yours, to feel the softness of your plump breasts underneath his callused hands. But Joel knew he couldn't, while shaking his head he said in a low voice “look at me scolding ya about starring, and I’m doing no different. Finish getting dressed, and let's go to bed baby.”

With a satisfied smirk you turned your back to place on his flannel, and then buttoned it up. You decided to forgo putting your bra back on. You grabbed a pair of clean black lace panties, a rare find but something that you were glad you found in storage. As you turned around you saw Joel staring at you wide eyed. “Baby, I- that’s not” he said, glancing between your chest and ass. He was trying to figure out how he was supposed to sleep next to you tonight, knowing you were practically naked next to him.

“Look here cowboy,” you said in a sarcastic tone. “I ain’t sleeping fully clothed so you can just fuck right off now if ya think I should.” When you approached your side of the bed, you froze. Chewing on your lip for a moment you finally asked, “is it safe for us to be dressed like this and all relaxed Joel?” You stared down at yourself, picking at the edges of your clothes, thinking that how you were dressed was both silly and stupid.

When Joel glanced over at you, he noticed your meek expression, lack of confidence, and the fact that you were chewing on your lip in a worried state. Sleeping fully relaxed in this world wasn’t something anyone could afford to do anymore, but he knew it was something that you both desperately needed tonight. "I put up new defenses around here. I also installed two deadbolt locks to the door. I think for one night we can let our guard down a bit. I don't know about you baby, but I need one night where I'm not on the fucking edge. I'm so wound up honey that I-”. That's when Joel saw it, fear mixed with longing behind your eyes, and that was a dangerous combination. With clearing his throat he added, “ya darlin’, it’s safe for tonight.”

Joel wasn't kidding about needing to be comfortable. He had reading glasses, a book, and a lamp that was turned on, giving the room a soft glow. When he sat down, he sat with his back against the wall. His rifle and his knife were set next to the bed, just in case. After he was situated, he looked over at you and said "come on baby, come to bed" while patting your side of the bed.

Shaking your head and giggling slightly you said, "I never would have thought in a million years that Mr. Joel Miller would actually say 'come on baby, come to bed.’ Kind of a special occasion, if ya ask me."

Joel glared at you and then quipped, "ok smartass, just lay down and don’t give me any more of your sass."

Smiling to yourself at his little quip, you laid down next to him, facing him. After you got situated, Joel tucked the blankets over you, bent down, and kissed the top of your head saying "now go to sleep baby." He then put his reading glasses on as he sat there and silently started reading to himself.

As you laid there you listened to Joel slowly breathe. You focused on trying to match your breaths with his, and in time you felt yourself finally starting to relax. The longer Joel read, the more you saw his muscles unclench, and his brows unfurrow. You laid there curled up in his flannel, holding the sleeve up by your nose, while slowly inhaling his scent. Joel was right, you did love the way he smelled. He smelled of pine, cinnamon, wood, and Joel. An intoxicating scent that left your head spinning, but also something that you could describe as home. You were somewhat in a daze, thinking about stuff that has recently happened when all of a sudden you heard Joel say, "Ya need to stop thinking so hard."

"What?" You said, slightly shaking your head in an attempt to focus.

"You're thinking too hard darlin’," he said, still reading his book.

"How am I thinking too hard?"

"Baby, you're breathing hard, shifting your legs, and sighing to yourself."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize that I was doing any of that" you replied in a meek voice.

"S'alright darlin'. What were ya thinking about anyways?" When you didn’t respond, Joel stopped and looked over at you.

"Just wondering where you found those glasses" was all that you said.

Joel cocked his head saying "that’s bullshit darlin'. That's not what's got ya all twisted up. But to answer your question, I found these in the cellar outside. They're regular reading glasses, and just so happens they’re the type of ones I need.” Joel then returned to reading his book.

You laid there quietly, chewing on your lip and thinking about some things that were bugging you a lot recently. Somehow Joel must have seen you out of his peripheral vision as he said with a sigh, “So what are you really thinking 'bout?"

“Just wondering what you’re reading?” you said, pressing your thighs together, not wanting to voice your actual true concerns. Laying this close to Joel wasn’t helping your sex drive. You haven’t been able to get yourself off recently due to how stressed out you were. But tonight your mind kept wandering to what Joel looked like when he changed in front of you, and you wondered how he'd feel again inside of you. You couldn't believe how delicious his cock looked, all hanging heavy between his legs. You could practically feel the rush of arousal out of you when you saw him earlier. You didn’t think that telling Joel, nor asking for his help, would be appropriate tonight. You remembered how he dealt with your starring earlier. He told you that you two shouldn't do anything, and for you to stop.

Joel looked over at you as you kept shifting under the covers. He knew that you really didn't want to know what he was reading. But Joel wasn’t in the mood to argue with you tonight. Replying with a bit more sarcasm than he intended Joel said, “a book darlin.’ I’m reading a damn book.”

“No shit sherlock, I know you’re reading a book Joel” you said with a sarcastic eye roll. After a moment of shifting around uncomfortably again you added, “can you, um, maybe read it to me out loud?”

Joel froze and looked over at you. “Darlin’, this ain’t one of those types of books.”

“I know what type of book it is Joel, Jesus. I know the author. She likes little Westerns that have two people- um. You know they- uh. They-

“Fuck.” Joel said, finally looking down at you with one eyebrow raised.

“W-what?” you said, looking back up at him with innocent eyes.

“She has them fuck darlin’, is that what you’re trying so hard not to say? You're fumbling with your words and acting worse than a toddler trying to talk.” he said, while closing the book and looking at you.

“Jesus Joel, an asshole much?” you snapped, completely turning red at his reference. Tonight was just not your night, so you turned away from Joel and laid there facing the other direction. You mumbled under your breath “you know, you can just fuck off. You don’t even understand what it feels like to not have someone want to fuck you, or to not be able to get yourself off.”

If Joel had to describe your mood tonight it would be moody, emotional, and down right irritating. Of course he understood what it was like to want to be with someone. Jesus, you were wearing his flannel with black panties on with no bra. He hadn’t had sex with anyone, specifically you, in months. He's attempted to get himself off, but again hasn't been able to. He also understood what it felt like to be frustrated, and God damnit, he wanted to smack some sense into your ass at that statement you just said. God help me, this woman is trying my fucking patience tonight, he thought.

For the next several minutes you heard Joel silently turning the pages of his book. Usually the silence wouldn't bother you, but tonight your nerves were on fire. All you wanted was for your so-called boyfriend to kiss you, make out with you, do something to take away these weird feelings that you had. You were hopeful that laying in bed next to him was going to lead to maybe some other things. Hell, that’s why you agreed to lay next to him in the first place. But apparently Joel wasn’t interested. Truth be told, he never really was interested in you anymore. So with another big sigh, you realized that you were just going to be sexually frustrated for a while. Yeah, great, fucking perfect.

Joel was attempting to unwind by reading the book he held. God, he was wired. He was so turned on and sexually frustrated by watching you earlier that he wanted nothing more than to bury his aching cock deep within your warm walls. He could practically smell your arousal tonight, the honey sweet aroma that he knew and grew to love. He thought reading a simple Western would help him calm his nerves. What he didn’t realize was that the author wrote a lot of graphic sex scenes in the book. And those graphic sex scenes weren't helping his frustration nor the hard on he had for you.

After a moment of contemplating, and hearing you sigh once again, he decided to say fuck it, and read out loud to you. What’s the worst that could happen, he thought, if anything maybe tonight I’ll finally get fucking laid. So with a big inhale, and deep exhale, Joel started reading to you out loud.

“After a night of blissful romance, by morning’s first light he was gone again. She could tell by the way the growing baby in her belly was kicking, that it missed their Papa as much as she missed her strong man. She tried convincing herself that he’d be back before winter, but she knew deep in her heart that was not the case. Winter turned into spring, and with it, came the birth of her son, Joshua. Giving birth was hard, especially when her man wasn’t by her side. But the neighbor lady, a woman who had 5 children, helped her with the process. Then one day when Joshua was 3 months old, a familiar Southern drawl came from across the room “fuck darlin’, ain’t you beautiful.”

As Joel read out loud, you turned back around to face him. You glanced up and saw how his natural curls slowly swayed at the turn of each page. How he’d use his tongue to gently lick his finger right before he’d turn the page. You also saw how Joel would periodically lick his lower lip, as a way to moisten it as he slowly read out loud to you.

“He watched her from across the room as she fed his son. After not being around a woman for many months, he found the soft suckling noises, and the light bounce of her breast, as his son fed to be something exotic. He slowly felt himself become hard at watching her nurse him. There was something so incredibly sexy about a woman feeding his child, and he was desperate for proper release. He found a chair in the corner of the room and slowly took a seat. He quietly palmed his cock in his jeans at the sight of you.”

“When he watched you switch sides, he nearly exploded in his pants. You left your other breast hanging out of your bra. It swung heavy, gentle side to side motions as you rocked your son. He studied it, the curve and slope of your engorged tits. He saw a little bit of milk drip out from where his son had just finished feeding from you. God, he wanted to walk over there and pick up your heavy breasts and massage them. He knew they hurt you, being twice the size from what they normally were, he could see how much they made you ache. He also wanted to taste you, to lick the little drop of milk off from them, and then finish milking you dry with his mouth. He wanted to taste the warm, wet rush of milk in his mouth as he suckled from you, nipped you, and got you to moan for him. He knew your breasts were always so sensitive, but right now he knew he could get you to cum just by nursing from you himself. Feeling himself strain hard against his pants, he slowly unzipped himself and took out his aching member.”

Joel stopped and took a deep breath to steady himself before reading on. God his cock was fully erect right now, leaking precum and throbbing against the sheet. He wanted you to put your mouth on it, to touch it, something to help relieve the desperate need and ache that he felt. In an attempt to get this situation under control, before he made a fool of himself, he said in a breathy pant, “maybe uh, maybe we shouldn’t finish this darlin’, It ah, shit, it kinda gets really vulgar in a second.”

“Finish reading the fucking chapter Joel, please,” you said with a rush to your voice. When he glanced at you he could tell that you were just as worked up. You were sweating, your eyes were closed and your legs were closed tight. You slowly rocked back and forth, trying to find a little bit of relief for the tension that was building fast in your core. God you two needed to blow off some steam together and soon.

“Look here little girl” Joel said with a bite to his voice. “Don’t go and snap at me cause you’re fucking frustrated. I won’t keep readin’ if ya can’t be nice.” Joel then noticed you shuffle underneath the sheets, putting your hand in-between your legs, and pressing your legs together again while whispering “sorry, it’s just hard.”

As Joel sat there he watched how hard you were pressing your thighs together, gently rocking yourself into your hand. Fuck, you looked hot and bothered, and he was hard as hell. He wanted to see how far you’d go to relieving yourself, so he continued reading out loud.

“Up and down he stroked his cock, working himself up. He noticed a good amount of precum drip from his slit at the sight of the woman nursing. When she looked over at him he growled low saying, ‘when you’re done with him, you’re gonna come on over here and bounce on this dick properly darlin’.”

“After she was done nursing, and had put the babe down to bed, she slowly sauntered over to the man in the room. She had no intention of riding him, but she couldn’t help with how worked up she’d been, and how long it had been since she had a man between her legs. She found herself straddling him and very slowly lowering herself down on his cock. When she was fully sheathed she started moving back and forth, up and down, and then back and forth. She worked him hard, giving him everything that she could with her hips, fucking him like she’d never see him again. The more she worked him, the more she felt that familiar coil tighten deep within her belly as her tits swayed and bounced in his face.”

“‘I feel it darlin’, keep fucking going’ he said as he started helping her rock faster into him and attaching his mouth to her nipple. When he bit down she yelped, saying ‘fuck yes, harder.’ He smiled as he continued to lick, nip, and suck her gorgeous swollen tits. He started meeting her thrust for thrust, jack hammering up into her, chasing his own high. ‘Why did I stop fucking this’ he said, moaning into her as he felt her walls flutter around him.

“‘Mama, I know you're close. Come on, give it to me’ he growled, grinding her hard on him. One, two, three hard thrusts in and she felt her coil snap hard in her stomach. She felt a gush of fluid rush his cock and then he tipped over the edge growling in her ear. He continued thrusting as he worked them both through their highs, grunting each other’s names in the process. As soon as they were done, he picked her up and took her to bed where he showed her what being home truly meant. They both tipped over the edge multiple times into eternal bliss, needing each other for forever more.”

When Joel finished reading the chapter he closed the book and heard himself panting hard. He looked over at you and saw that you had your eyes closed and was slowly rocking back and forth with your hand in-between your legs again panting hard. Fuck you looked hot. As soon as you noticed Joel had stopped reading your eyes snapped open and you glared at him with blown out pupils.

“Maybe uh-maybe we should uh-”

“Goodnight Joel” you whispered while you rolled over and laid there in silence. Joel just looked at you puzzled, about to ask if you wanted to maybe do something when you said “please turn out the light, I’m kinda tired and wanna go to bed.”

“Yeah sure” he said, turning out the light and slipping down into the bed. Joel laid there staring at the ceiling, thinking when he said “do you wanna-”

“No, goodnight Joel.”

“Yeah, ok. Goodnight darlin.’” Joel laid there confused, not understanding what had happened. He didn’t know if you were embarrassed at him seeing you worked up or if he somehow hurt your feelings. After laying in silence for a bit he was going to ask if you were ok. But before he did, he heard you say “before you asked what I was thinking, I was just thinking what we're gonna do once we find Tommy. Like where do I go? Do I live with you or am I supposed to be on my own or what?”

Joel didn’t answer right away, as he didn't know the answer. This was something that the two of you hadn’t discussed. He wanted you to stay with him, but he didn’t want to force you to stay either. Apparently his lack of communication right now upset you. “Just forget I asked,” you said. “I'll just figure it out myself." And with that you fell into a deep sleep. But as you started to dream, your mind decided to recall a memory that you truly wanted to never remember again…

Dreamstate- Flashback to Boston, QZ- 5 years prior

(graphic content)...if you want to skip this section go to “flashback end” in bold below to pick up the regular story again. Please read warnings before proceeding reading flashback, this is very dark content.

“You’re so fucking stupid, how can you not be able to do this. Like every dumb idiot can shoot a bow, well everyone except for you.” Dave snarled at you when you couldn’t even pull back the bow.

“Well I don’t know Dave, maybe teach me how to do it instead of ridiculing me. Like what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you acting like this? You’re supposed to be my boyfriend” you said, snapping at him.

“Boyfriend? Nope, I’m not your boyfriend” he said with venom, as he downed the last of the amber liquid in the glass bottle. “Boyfriends are people you care about, and you honestly don’t give a fuck about me. So why should I care about you in return? You’re just a stupid liability that I have to deal with, and one that I can’t seem to get rid of.”

You watched Dave drink, knowing what was in store for you tonight. When Dave drank, he usually became violent with you. It was a standard routine that the two of you had, and one you were honestly sick of. You wanted out, that was for certain. You wanted to get as far away from this piece of shit guy as you could.

In order to cope and deal with the fact that you hated your life, and that you wanted out and away from Dave, you took another job. You were smuggling goods secretly on the black market of the QZ and Joel Miller was the man that you were working with. Tess, Joel’s partner, had approached you after she had seen bruises on your arms during your normal QZ job. Dave usually never gave you any bruises that people could visually see. But something recently happened, and he no longer cared. So you walked around with bruises, where the world could see who you belonged to. When Tess saw this, it angered the hell out of her. So much so that she introduced you to Joel, in an attempt to help you earn enough money to get out and away from Dave.

“If you wanna get out of there, you come talk to me or Joel, and we’ll get you out, understand?” Tess said while working a shift with you. All you did was nod your head, but you didn't take her up on her offer until Dave broke your collarbone. That's the night you went to see Tess at home. She helped clean you up and then let you stay over.

When Joel got home he said “what’s she doing here?” while pointing at you.

“She's spending the night Joel, she got roughed up a bit and needed care.”

Joel approached you and lightly grabbed your chin, examining the bruise that was forming on the side of your lip. “Better get some ice on that darlin’ before it swells.” That night Joel slept on the couch and insisted that Tess and you took the bed.

You started doing odd jobs on the side for Tess and Joel. Joel never questioned you of why you wanted the side jobs. Just like he never questioned you of why you had bruises on your arms or hickies on your neck. The time you showed up with a swollen black eye though he said, “darlin’ it ain’t right what he’s doing, no guy is worth that.”

As Dave's anger increased, so did the extra jobs. Tess and Joel threw every side job they had at you in an attempt to help you get enough money to leave. Finally after months of pulling double shifts, you had enough money to leave. This made you happy as you no longer had to feel afraid of Dave anymore, but you were so wrong.

“You know what Dave, fine” you yelled snapping back at him. “I can’t keep doing this with you. I’ll just pack up my shit and-”

“Don’t flatter yourself Y/N, you know you ain’t leaving, where would you even go?” he said, baiting you.

“Anyplace other than with you Dave, so just fuck o-”

“Where you just about to tell me to fuck off?” Dave said, sneering at you. “Bad move honey. I may not be a genius, but I ain’t stupid. I found your extra stash of money, real sweet hiding it in a sock” Dave said while holding up the sock.

Dave reached in and grabbed the wad of money that you had earned. When he started the money on fire with a lighter you yelled “what the fuck are you doing Dave? My god, don’t burn that.” You lunged at the sock to try to put out the fire.

Dave kept pushing you back until all the money was burnt to ash. You fell to your knees defeated and angry that he'd take this last bit from you. You heard him laugh behind you saying, “think again sweetheart, you ain’t goin’ nowhere. Now get the fuck up.”

When you stood up you felt anger and bile rise up from the pit of your stomach. That was almost a year's worth of pay down the drain. You had pulled extra shifts, did side jobs, sometimes almost died, trying to save up enough money to leave. You put up with Dave’s shit, allowing him to mark you with his mouth when you hated the very sight of him, just so you could get up and do another job for cash. Now the asshole burned it up like ash, just so he could watch you seethe in anger. He didn’t care if he had extra money, money meant nothing to Dave. Power is what Dave craved. If money that you earned was going to take his power away from him, he'd burn it up just to make sure you'd lose all control.

When you turned around you didn’t care about playing nice anymore. When you first got to know Dave, you thought that he was someone who cared. You quickly found out that was a lie. “You’re an asshole” you yelled, smacking him hard across the face. As soon as you smacked him you watched his eyes glaze over, and then the other side of him came out.

“Ok, fine bitch. You wanna play like that, then let’s fucking play like that.” Your vision blurred as Dave hit you across the face. You then felt him hit you again, and again, and again, and again. When his one hand got tired, he then switched to the other but this time with a closed fist. You tried to fight back, but the more you struggled, the more he pinned you down on the ground. With both of his knees on either side of your arms, you couldn’t move. You eventually tried to relax, knowing that the more you fought the worse it was going to be. But this didn't stop him.

“You know,” Dave said, “I think I’m just gonna just take what I need this time from you. You seem to always run your fucking mouth off, saying you want to be my girlfriend, so why not take what's mine, right?” You then felt the rip of your jeans beneath you. You tried to fight him off, realizing what he was after, and what he was going to do. Dave and you had never had sex, and that was something that he always hated.

“Dave you can’t, please, don’t. I’ll stay. Just don’t do that, don’t take that from me” you yelled as tears streamed down your face as you tried to fight him off. You fought for your life, because honestly it felt like this was it. But the more you fought the angrier he got until you felt the snap of your ankle, and then the searing pain that went with it. He broke your ankle so you couldn’t run away. You then felt him take his knife and cut you deep on your thigh, right up by your mound as he said “gonna make sure this is deep enough, so you have a scar here forever to remember who the fuck you belong to.”

You tried to fight him, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t get him off of you. And then finally you felt it, the searing pain in your groin as Dave forced himself all the way into you. He took the last bit of innocence that you had, you were now truly broken.

You laid there crying, sobbing, wishing that death would take you. You must have been making too much noise because you felt Dave's hand on your mouth with a knife at your throat, yelling “shut the fuck up.” You thought ‘please, just cut me and let me die here’ as you heard Dave moan above you. He continued to take what he thought belonged to him.

“Fuck, why have you denied this to me for so long, huh?” he said. You knew it wasn’t a question that he wanted answered, it was just something he was saying. “Gonna do this every fucking day now with you, Jesus. Fuck, will you at least stop fucking crying and pretend to at least enjoy this” he said, as you felt another smack across your face. You turned your face away from him so only your bad eye was upright, the one he beat hard with a fist. You didn’t want to look at him with the side of your face that you could still see out of.

You laid there and tried to will the tears to stop, but they never did. You felt him tighten his hand around your throat as he squeezed the life out of it. “Fucking look at me, I know little lady you can still see out of one eye, not that fucking stupid. You look at who owns you, you hear me” he yelled, as he yanked your face towards him. When you looked up at Dave, you saw the monster that he truly was. Somehow in the last few years a man who was kind and gentle to you turned into someone who was this. You thought that maybe this was him all along. You tried to convince yourself of that as a way of coping.

As he continued you suddenly felt your head get dizzy from the lack of oxygen. You knew that you were done. That this was the day you were going to die. There was no more compassion in Dave’s face anymore, only a monster that was going to kill. You’ve seen this look in his eyes when he's killed other people before, so you knew you were next.

As you laid there accepting your fate you heard a deep voice yell “what the fuck are you doing, get the fuck off from her.” You saw Dave get yanked off from you by someone, but you didn't know who.

“Mind your own fucking business, old man” you heard Dave yell back in return. You then heard a struggle followed by three soft bangs of a gun. It was a gun that had a silencer on it, you knew this because it was sold on the blackmarket of the QZ, and Dave usually carried a gun with a silencer on it.

As you laid still you heard the person who shot the gun approach. At first you thought it was Dave, that he was coming back over to finish what he started. But when you heard the Texan drawl of “darlin’ are you ok?” the flood gates opened up and you fell apart. You knew that voice anywhere, the voice of Joel Miller.

Joel kneeled down by you as he gently sat you up. “Are you ok?” he said, looking you over to see what was all wrong. When he noticed the blood that was coming from in-between your legs, he shrugged off his flannel shirt, wrapped it around you and said, “ok, come on. Let’s get you outta here, and get ya cleaned up.” He then picked you up and carried you back to his house.

Once you were cleaned up Joel got you situated and laid you down on his bed. Tess wasn't home, she was out working according to Joel. In an effort to try to get you to sleep, Joel laid you on your side and tucked you tight into his chest. One leg went in-between your legs, and he slowly stroked soothing circles on your back saying “it’s okay honey, I got ya and nothing bad is ever gonna happen, just breathe.” He started humming that little tune that you’d come to know and love so well…Flashback end

Back to Regular Story

“y/n. Y/n. Y/N” you heard Joel yell, but it sounded muffled to your ears. The only thing that you could hear was the pounding of your heartbeat and the labored breathing that you were doing. “I can’t do this, he hates me, he wants to hurt me, I’m all alone" was all that you said out loud, still stuck someplace inside of your nightmare. You were drowning in anxiety, breaking out in a cold sweat, and not realizing that you were still in fact dreaming.

“Baby, wake up” Joel yelled, shaking you as he tried to get you out of the nightmare. You haven’t had this kind of a nightmare for a long time, and this fact burned hot in Joel’s chest. He didn’t want you remembering the past, remembering the night that he killed Dave. He knew that’s the nightmare you were having because you always said words like “please don't take that Dave, don't cut me. I'll be good, I promise” and finally you'd yell “please just kill me, I wanna go home,” like you were doing right now. If that son of a bitch was still alive, I’d kill that motherfucker yet again, Joe thought to himself.

Joel was rubbing your arms and trying to wake you up as you started to thrash in the sheets. “Baby come on, come on honey it’s me, you gotta wake up” he said, feeling his heart ache at you trying to run away in your dream with your eyes still closed. All of a sudden you sat up in bed and let out a blood curdling scream, clothes drenched slick with sweat, and body shaking all over. As soon as your eyes flew open you saw Joel was sitting upright, right in front of you. He grabbed you and held you saying “baby I’m here, I'm here. You’re safe. No one’s hurting you. It all was just a bad dream honey, all of it. It was just a bad dream.”

“Joel” you said, shaking, touching his face, not believing that it was really him and that he was there. “Dave, he, he-”

“Shhh baby, c’mere, I gotcha honey, I gotcha” Joel said while wrapping his arms around you and tightly holding you against his chest. “He’s gone baby, he’s gone. Shhh.” Joel felt the tremors and aftershocks go through your entire body, up your spine, as you came down from your nightmare. Joel slowly rocked you back and forth, and side to side, humming to you and reassuring you that you were alright.

"Baby, can you look at me." Joel said with the gentlest voice, after humming to you and rocking you for a while. When you opened your eyes you saw him look at you with the softest eyes. Your lip quivered hard as your tears kept falling. Why are men cruel, why do they always hurt me, and why can't anyone love me? you thought to yourself. What you didn't realize was that you voiced your thoughts out loud, and Joel heard them. You tried to calm yourself down, but your throat burned. After taking a few breaths to steady yourself you felt the world start to spin on its axis. Your heart raced and you felt the sob that you were trying to hold back escape your mouth.

"Oh baby, c’mere." Joel said as he grabbed your head and tucked you into the crook of his neck. He started humming to you that song again that you knew so well, the one he hummed that first night to you.

"It-it’s so beau-beautiful. Wh-what song is that?" you asked as you slowly finished crying yourself out.

"I used to hum it to Sarah when she was little. It's a song I wrote before she was born." Joel said as he wrapped his arms tighter around you, holding you firmer to his chest to protect you.

"It truly is beautiful, Joel."

"Yeah she is beautiful. She's right here in my arms, and she's all mine." Joel said while he rubbed your back.

"Joel I-"

Joel pulled back and cupped your face in his large callused hands while slowly swiping your tears away. "Y/n, let me get this out first baby, okay? I care so much about you baby, truly I do. It destroys me to see you like this. That fucker, Dave, he’s gone. Ya hear me? You gotta stop letting him in like this. No more baby, ok? Now c’mere.”

Joel then laid you down on the bed and tucked you into him, the same way he did that first night. “I'm not him mama, I never have been.” Joel continued to brush your tears away while whispering in your ear "stop cryin' baby. You forever have a home with me, for as long as you want it, Ellie too.”

“But for how long” you say muffled into his chest. Joel pulled you away and looked at you to continue, not understanding what you meant.

“How long do I have a home Joel? Am I gonna be the roommate that gets to watch you bring women back to your house and fuck them in your bed? Is your bed ever going to be our bed, or am I just the person you're forced to be with? Am I just a fucking doormat that you hurt over and over again Joel, someone you fucking forget because you're too afraid of feeling something. ‘She's too young, he's too old, you can't be together, it's wrong.’ It'll be worse than David. You're gonna hur-hurt me w-worse than he did. Why can't you just love me?" There it was, in the broken silence of the room, that you told Joel your biggest fear.

Joel couldn't believe it, that you didn't understand his feelings for you. You weren't a doormat, and he sure as hell wasn't that good for nothing David. "Baby, you ain't ever gonna be a doormat, ok. I honestly don't give a fuck what people think if we're together. They can all just fuck off if they don't like it, including my brother Tommy. You and Ellie, you're my whole life, and nothing is ever gonna change that" Joel said, holding you tight to his chest.

After holding you tight for a few minutes he then pulled back and said “I'm committed to being yours, ya hear me? Fuck mama, you feel that" he said while slowly grinding his hard bulge into your pelvis. You both let out a low moan at the sensation. The two of you were both so worked up from this back and forth edging that has been happening that any little friction sent you both over the edge into wanting to fuck the other person bad.

While looking at you, Joel adjusted the angle of his pelvis and ground down a little more into you. You could feel his entire outline of his cock right now, and God he felt good, and was rock hard. "You do this to me mama, just you. No one else. So quit your fussin' about it. Ya hear me? It's only you that I want in my fucking bed and no one else" he said with another delicious grind of his hips.

“It's you that I want.” *hip grind* “It's you that makes me happy.” *hip grind* “It's you that I wanna spend my life with.” *hip grind* “And it's you that I wanna fuck.” And with that admittance Joel crashed his lips into yours and kissed you with a deep hunger that he felt for you. As he skimmed your bottom lip, you opened your mouth to grant him easy access.

You both were so worked up that you couldn't stand it anymore. “Baby please” you panted. “Please, Joel, please.”

Hearing you say his name all wanton and needy like that unlocked something deep within his body. He had a primal urge now to have you. Joel quickly grabbed your shirt and ripped it open, which sent the buttons flying everywhere. He didn't care though, he desperately needed you.

Joel quickly started to devour your chest. Grabbing, sucking, and biting your nipples in a heated frenzy. He grabbed one of your legs and hitched it higher up on his hip to open you up. In a heated mess, Joel grabbed your thigh by the permanent scar that David had left. He dug his fingers into it while whispering in your ear “I'm gonna fucking mark you as mine properly, baby.” And that's when he felt it, you froze and started breathing erratically.

Joel slowly pulled back, realizing what he just did. He looked at you and saw a mixture of want and fear across your face. He just realized that you weren't fully out of your nightmare in your head. “Baby, I- I didn't mean it the way that came out.”

“I know” was all you said, taking a slow shaky breath.

“Fuck” Joel groaned as he sat up, dragging a hand down his face at his fuck up that he just did. “You know, I'd love a fucking smoke right about now” he said out loud, more to himself than you.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Joel asked.

“Why do you wanna have a cigarette now? Don't people usually smoke after sex, not when this shit happens” you say, jestering in-between the two of you.

“I don't know, maybe cause I'm embarrassed and now nervous.”

“Wh-”

“Are we now playing 20 fucking questions, y/n. Jesus.” Joel said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No Joel we're not” you snap. “I'm just trying to understand and salvage this fucking night. So why did you stop?”

“I think that's pretty obvious by the look you're still giving me.”

“What look?”

“Jesus, we are playing 20 questions. Y/n, just-”

“So help me God Joel, if you fucking tell me to leave it or drop it I swear to God, that the knife that is on your side of the bed will be stuck in your damn heart. So unless you wanna truly die tonight, I suggest you fucking start talking.” you said, snapping hard at Joel.

Joel looked down at you with a smirk on his face. There was that attitude that he knew and loved from you. Your anger and frustration was like an amazing fire, one that if Joel wasn't careful, would burn him to death. But the longer he sat there tonight, looking at you, the more he truly didn't care. He'd welcome the chance to get burned by your flames tonight. At least it’d make him feel alive, and that's something that he hasn't truly felt for a long time.

“I'd like to see you try it” Joel said, bending down to whisper close to you. “I don't think you have the fucking guts to do it.” As the stare down between Joel and you continued, you noticed that Joel widened his smirk. “Just as I thought,” he said, “you don't have the guts. You're all talk, and no fucking do y/n. And I'm not surprised. I honestly thought that you'd have the guts to do what you needed to do to survive. Apparently I was wrong.”

Joel knew he was playing a deadly game with you. But he didn't care, he wanted to snap you out of this problem you kept having thinking that you weren't good enough for him. So if he had to bite hard and yank hard on the Lion's tail to get a reaction, then that's what he was going to do. After a brief moment of hesitation, Joel saw something snap inside of you. In a blink of an eye he watched your calm exterior morph into something like an intense rage. You flung yourself on him and grabbed his knife. The two of you wrestled for a moment until Joel was finally on his back, his hands up in surrender as you held the knife to his throat.

Joel laid there with blown out pupils watching you. This form of anger turned him on, and made his dick twitch in his pants. Apparently you did have the balls to take him on. As Joel laid there he watched your outer exterior falter, and watched you start to second guess yourself. “Do it,” Joel said. “Y/n if you're gonna do it, don't think about it, just do it” he growled.

“I-I” you said, shaking your head.

“Come on baby, just do it” he said, looking at you with concern in his eyes as yours welled up with tears. “Baby, if you think that all men are like Dave, then fucking slice my throat. Let me go see my daughter, let me have my baby girl back. Just do it.” To emphasize his point Joel grabbed your wrist and pushed the knife into his neck more, but not where it was cutting him yet.

“Why?” you sobbed holding tight to the knife, but not letting go. “Why beg me, why not just do it yourself if you don't want to be here? Why do you need me?”

When Joel looked into your soft eyes it was then that he knew you couldn’t see it. That you couldn’t see that he loved you. He didn’t want to open his heart and say those three little words yet, but he felt it. He loved you. But he, himself, was also drowning in emotion at this fact, just like you were.

“Baby, if you can’t see why, then I’ve really fucked up. If ya can't see why I want you darlin’, then I don’t deserve you in my life. I’m not Dave honey, I never have been, nor ever will be. If you can’t see that then please honey, just let me go and see my daughter. I don’t want to be in a world where you think I’m a fucking monster. Please.”

Joel could see the war that was going on in your head, the struggle of wanting to say that every guy was like Dave and then not. You knew that Joel was nothing like Dave, but still you couldn't be sure. Joel was moody, quiet, and sometimes cold. But even in the coldest of moments Joel still found compassion for you. He looked out for you and even protected you by killing Dave, when Dave attempted to take everything from you. Truth is, you were scared to death. You were scared to death to give yourself completely to someone else for fear that he'd do exactly what Dave did. That he'd lie and then destroy you.

As you sat there straddling Joel, holding the knife to his throat, you felt a horrible burn collect in the back of your throat. Eventually you couldn't hold it in any longer and a horrible sob escaped your mouth. Your mind was fighting hard to break free from the abuse that had happened from Dave.

Joel could see you struggle with these emotions, as you wore them plain as day on your skin, unable to hide them. When Joel felt your grip on the knife falter he gently grabbed you and flipped you on your back. “I don’t want to be in a world where you hate me darlin’” Joel said, while putting the knife down and grabbing your hip to hitch it higher to open you up. He slowly moved his one hand down to trace the outline of your slit through your panties, his other hand held your hands above your head.

“You're denched, baby” Joel whispered as he rested his forehead against yours while slowly circling your clit on the outside of your panties. “I don’t want to live in a fucking world where someone else gets to touch this mama.” Joel slowly moved from your clit down to the center of your weeping hole and then back up to your clit.

“Fuck baby, I need you” Joel said, panting at how turned on he felt. “Something tells me that you need me too” and with that Joel yanked your panties to the side as he crashed his lips onto yours. He quickly made fast work on your clit, alternating between feather light tickles to heavy circles.

“We're going to stop working each other up darlin’” Joel said, making fast work of your clit. “I can’t do it anymore baby. I fucking need you.” And with that admittance Joel deepened his kiss. You two sat like that. Joel overtop of you holding your wrists above your head, while he slowly licked into your mouth with his tongue. Meanwhile his other hand kept circling your clit, trying to give you release.

“Joel, please I need to-”

“I know baby, I know. Let it happen, honey. Trust me, I got you. Let go.” And with that Joel felt your clit swell then spasm hard as your back arched off the bed. You sobbed and bucked your hips up hard against his hand, chasing your high, moaning Joel's name. When overstimulation started Joel released your hands and started to just rock back and forth into you. Grinding his hard bulge into your drenched heat. Joel had removed his hand from your clit, and placed it on your head, to caress your head. He also continued to deepen his kiss in your mouth. The two of you sat there for several minutes, exploring each other's mouth while Joel slowly rocked his hips into you.

Joel kept rocking into you, showing you how much he cared, how much he loved you. He couldn't say the words yet to you, soon, I'll tell her soon, he thought. The longer he made out with you, the more you both started to pant. You moved your hand down and slid Joel's pants off his hips as you started rubbing his swollen member. “Aw darlin', fuck” Joel said when you wrapped your hand around his head and gently squeezed. “Please baby, don't tease. I can't, I can't, fuck mama, don't tease me,” Joel panted and begged you to continue.

“Baby, shhh” you said as you stilled your movements. You immediately heard Joel groan in frustration, with his eyes closed, and his forehead touching yours. “Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna take real good care of you.” With looking down at Joel you noticed that he was throbbing hard against your hand. “Jesus Joel, does that hurt baby?” you asked running your thumb gently over the swollen reddened tip. As you did you heard Joel let out a hiss at the sensation. “I’m gonna take care of this baby, I’ll make it feel better” you cooed, slowly stroking him again.

“God please” Joel begged, breathless, panting hard when he looked into your eyes.

“What? What do you need Joel, tell me honey and I’ll do it.”

After a few more slow twists of your hand at the reddened tip of his cock you heard Joel let out a strangled groan followed by a breathy “Don't. Fa-fucking. St-Stop.”

“I won't, baby, if you promise to use your fingers. Joel fingers- ah- f-fuck me with your fingers. I want them deep baby. I promise though, I won’t stop touching you” you said panting.

Joel quickly shifted and yanked your panties all the way down. He also quickly removed his shirt, and finished taking off his pants the rest of the way. He wanted to feel skin on skin contact with you. When he looked at you he saw that you had blown wide pupils. “Come here and let me fuck you with my hand, Joel” you said in a sultery voice.

“Fuck woman, if ya talk like that you’re gonna kill me” Joel said, panting and quickly getting situated back between your legs.

Joel and you quickly found a rhythm. You stroked him while he fingered you. Joel also explored you with his mouth, kissing you passionately. The longer it went, the more the two of you were panting heavily and rutting hard against each other.

“God Joel, baby I need-”

“What do you need darlin’, come on tell me- fuck” he said moaning as you stroked him faster.

“I need to come Joel, I need it so bad” you whined.

“You’re gonna cum for me darlin’, gonna give me another one?”

“Joel fuck, baby” you said as Joel pulled your leg up to widen you out for him. He reached deep within you at the spongy part inside and your eyes rolled back in your head with a long moan.

“Yeah mama, daddy knows where that fucking G-spot is. Come on baby, soak daddy’s fingers with that beautiful pussy. Pretend it’s my cock darlin’. Come on, soak ‘em” Joel said growling in your ear as he picked up the pace fucking you hard and fast in your drenched tight hole. He added a second finger and your eyes rolled back in your head, hand stumbling trying to stroke his cock fast through it.

“Joel I can’t” you said as you attempted to relax with pleasure, plus try to get him off.

“Let me do it mama, just hold your hand on my cock and I’ll do the rest. I’ll fuck your hand as I fuck this pussy full with my fingers. Pretend I’m inside of you baby, now come on, let daddy fuck ya good.”

Joel picked up the pace, rutting hard into your hand chasing his own high. “Fuck baby, god you feel so damn good, mama. I haven’t- fuck- I haven’t fucked myself since I came in that pretty little pussy last time” Joel admitted out loud.

“Oh baby, fuck. Right there. Joel, honey, you need to come. Damn it. Come on Joel, you need to come with me, I'm almost there. God, Joel. Blow your load on me, let me see it.”

“Filthy fucking woman” Joel growled, snapping his hand and hips hard into you. “Filthy fucking mouth, I’m gonna fuck that beautiful mouth real soon. Make you take my cock all the way back like you’re meant to. Fuck y/n, I’m close, you’re gonna need to come soon darlin’, I can’t wait much longer.” You felt Joel’s thrusts become sloppy in your hands, so you added a bit of pressure and started moving your wrist faster to get him there sooner.

“Fuck- babe. Shit, I’m gonna, fuck I’m gonna-” Joel said while putting his forehead against yours as he came with a loud groan.

“Come Joel, come for me baby” you said while you felt him swell and then release his cum all over your hand and stomach. You followed him over the edge with your own release, coating his fingers as he kept pumping them in and out of you.

When Joel finally found release he felt his vision go white as his balls drained of all his pent up anger, frustration, and energy that he had from not being able to come since the last time you two had sex. As he came he heard himself swearing while gently rocking back and forth into your hand as white rope after white rope of his seed came out of him. When his cock was finally spent, and he started to soften, he opened his eyes.

“Hey you” you said as you both came back down to Earth. “You ok, did I do that ok? Was I too-”

“Baby, stop. That was- fuck woman. That was amazing.” Joel said as he continued to slowly pant, trying to get his breathing under control.

“Good,” you said while kissing his forehead, “I’m glad you liked it.”

“How about you?” Joel said while picking his head up and slowly removing his fingers from your soaked cunt. “Did that-”

“Fuck Joel, that felt amazing” you said while laughing and blushing.

“Good baby, so glad to hear.” he said, giving you a slow kiss to your mouth. When he was done he rolled onto his back and slowly calmed his breathing.

“We’re a mess Joel” you said laughing at how soaked you and him were with both sweat and both of your releases.

“Give me a minute for the blood to go back to my brain honey, and then I’ll get up and get us a towel to clean up with.”

“Has it really been that long for you? That you haven’t come since we had sex in the woods a few months back?” you asked while you gently nudged him.

“I said that out loud? Fuck” Joel said with a groan. “Yeah baby, it is, or was,” he said while sitting up and slowly standing up. Joel exited the room and went to the bathroom to clean up. After he was done cleaning himself up he came in with a wet washcloth and a dry towel and slowly cleaned you up. When he was finished he placed them in the dirty clothes pile, making a mental note to make sure he washed them in the sink with soap and water later.

He laid down next to you in bed, still panting as he slowly came down from his high. He only had his pajama pants on, and not his t-shirt. You had already grabbed his t-shirt and had put it on. “C’mere” he said while pulling you close to him and tucking you on your side, against his chest.

As you laid there and listened to him breathing, you heard that it was starting to slow and even out. “Did you mean what you said?” you gently whispered into the night.

“About what?” Joel said, with sleep lacing his voice.

“That I’m not a doormat, that you want me to stay with you, and that you only want me in your bed?” After Joel didn't respond you said “just forget that I-”

With a sigh Joel said, “Baby.” When you didn’t acknowledge him, he gripped you tighter saying “y/n.” Finally when you looked up at his face you saw that he was looking down at you seriously. “I meant every fucking word that I said. You're not a doormat and you belong in this bed with me, and only me. Now go to sleep.” Joel then tucked you into him once again.

After a moment you said in the darkness “I love you Joel” and with that, you fell asleep. When Joel knew that you were sleeping he also said out loud “I love you too sweetheart, always have and always will.” Joel knew that he had to tell you soon that he loved you. But this admission in the dark, when you were softly sleeping in his arms, was good enough for now. As sleep finally took Joel he thought to himself I love you and you’re forever mine.

That was the first night the both of you had a decent night's sleep since this whole thing started. You both were wrapped up tight in each other's arms, not letting go, locking the world out for just one night. If you could describe the feeling you both felt, that feeling would be home. You felt like you were at home, safe in each other's arms. And that was something worth fighting for.

-End chapter-

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3laze @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

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silvervioletvalentine · 9 months

Text

🎱🖤!The boyfriend experience!🖤🎱

Pairing : Quinn Hughes x Cherrie!

Word count : 10k

Summary: in which he’s bad with words so Trevor comes up with plan ‘the boyfriend experience’ . Aka- show her what’s it’s like to have a man that’s in love with her In hopes that she sees what was right there waiting for her all along.

Warnings: fluff. Tiny bit of angst? Dickhead ex’s and Cherrie and Q snap like little angtsy bitches at each other like once or twice. That’s it? I think. Idek. I’m not sure I like this one but have it anyways! Xoxo

Quinn felt like their weekends were repeating itself as they heard the slamming of their front door, high heels being thrown angrily to the floor before she let out a strangled scream of heartbreak , frustration and hurt .

Not looking in either of their directions as she stomped through the apartment with tears in her eyes , pretty dress all rumpled and lips trembling again .

Quinn shared a familiar look with Trevor as they both watched their friend sniffle and cry over yet another guy that wasn't worth a single tear of hers , feeling his own heart squeeze painfully in his chest for her, the same way he did every time this happened.

He oftened wondered why such a beautiful and golden hearted woman like Cherrie kept letting these stupid , heartless assholes break her down like this.

De ja vu became the same old song , the same tune, the same lyrics but with a different man each time. All of them causing her nothing but heartbreak and pain, yet she never stopped or gave in.

Trevor told him it was because she had watched her mother do the same thing , going through guy after guy her whole life. Screaming , crying and going through the same endless cycle of toxicity and drama until she finally found the one.

Like Mother , like daughter . All she wanted was to find her one, her person ..her best friend. So she looked and she searched , she laughed prettily at date nights , she let them touch her skin and kiss her blue but each time she came back home alone. Each time yet another attempt at love needed , Quinn could see the light slowly fading from her pretty eyes , could see the strain in her sweet smile . Could see the toll the heartbreak was taking on her body as she grew more tense , more on edge and more argumentative .

Refusing to listen to any of them, refusing to believe that her friends advice was right . That love would find her when she was ready , that she needed to stop looking for love in dirty bars and sleezy clubs, that she wasn't going to meet the one past midnight.

But Cherrie was stubborn , and she was a hopeless romantic . A hot mess. So she went on every date , accepted every touch and every empty kiss in hopes that it would make her feel something .

Longing to feel that spark , to feel her heart come alive again , to just feel something other than pain, other than disappointment and guilt when yet another attempt at love blew up in her face.

Trying to push down the tears as the disgust and self doubt set in, wondering why they didn't want her like she wanted them too. Wondering why she wasn't enough to keep them loyal, wondering why every man she tried to love always turned out to be the same .

Liars with pretty faces and the charm of a two faced snake .

Another notch added to her pain as she saw her boyfriend leave a party with someone that wasn't her. Watched him smile like he had never smiled at her , kissing this beautiful girl like she was the star in his sky.

Her boyfriend found the one. And it wasn't her. It never was. She was always the stepping stone for them to find someone better. Every ex boyfriend had found the one after ruining her , after ripping her apart and tearing her heart to pieces .

They got their happily ever after . They got their happy story. They got their one. Their northern star.

Cherrie got Empty apology's , the 'it's not you it's me.' She got the slammed doors and pitying looks from her friends as yet another man didn't want her.

She could feel the hollowness spreading across her chest as she sniffled and roughly wiped at her eyes, glaring over at a grimacing Trevor , who was shaking his head quietly at her. Looking like he was going to say something

So she snapped "I don't want to fucking hear it right now alright? I know. I fucking know!" Daring them to say a single word about it.

She didn't give them a chance to reply, didn't even spare them a second glance before she was stomping off to her bedroom , the door slamming shut loudly behind her as she threw her tired body down onto her bed . Burying her burning face into her pillow as she screamed into it, cursing out his name.

Just like with everything else . She never learned.

It was tensely silent between then for a while before Trevor finally scoffed and muttered sadly "I wish she would stop doing this to herself." Hating seeing his friend in so much pain. Hated that she couldn't just see what was right in front of her.

Every day he had watched them dance around each other , his friends hurting each other without even realising it.

For so long now , He had watched Quinn quietly watch her from afar as she laughed at another mans jokes, watched Quinn swallow painfully and force himself to look away each time she cried to them about yet another love gone bad.

He had watched Quinn silently love her for the past three years while Cherrie wondered why no one could ever do so, oblivious to the longing glances and heartache that she was causing the quiet hockey player who wasn't brave enough to say a thing.

So they both hurt , and they both wished for it to be different.

Trevor was so fucking sick of it.

He said so , looking at a frowning Quinn on the couch opposite him , still staring silently at the space where she had been stood.

"You're losing out ya know? Wasting time because Some day she won't come home crying because she's got her heart broken again." He told him straight up , fed up with the both of them acting like this.

Quinn didn't answer. He never did.

Simply rolled his eyes and crossed his arms defensively over his chest , refusing to look up from his feet. Heart sinking deeper in his stomach as he heard her cry from her room, inhaling a little shakily as he told himself that she wouldn't want him anyway . She just didn't look at him as someone that could make her happy in a way that ‘just friends’ didn’t.

Not that he blamed her. He hasn't actively tried to either. Had never done or said a single thing that could make her aware to his feelings . Had never so much as touched her softly like he wanted to , they only ever bickered and shoved at each other as friends. No matter how much he wished it was different , he didn’t have to guts to put his heart on the line like that .

So instead He held her hair when she was throwing up after drinking with her friends.

He silently passed her tissues when she cried quietly during a sad movie. He pulled her away from fights that started just because she was drunk and bored, hauling her home before she could cause anymore trouble.

He was the one that she played video games with. The one she bickered with over what they would eat each night . He was the one who drove her to her dates, the one that had her location on his phone to make sure that she was safe. The one to pick her up the following morning , same dress and walk of shame.

They never spoke about it, he just brought her back home and they ignored the quiver to her voice and the tightness of his fists around the wheel as he drove them home at sunrise .

He was never an option for her. He knew that but it didn't mean that it hurt any less to watch her get her heart broken all over again. To watch her be used and thrown away like she wasn't something special , as though her very being didn't make him feel complete . As though the simple Brush of her fingers never sparked his fuse.

But he never said a thing. He was too damn scared of what could happen if he did.

"You should try man. What have you got to lose?" Trevor said.

Hearing enough, Quinn shoved to his feet and shook his head at him in annoyance.

“Shut up." He muttered underneath his breath , not sparing him another glance before he made his way down the hallway.

Taking a deep breath as he hovered outside of her bedroom door for a moment , hesitating , before finally knocking softly and stepping inside her room.

Cherrie, now wrapped in a oversized hoodie , eyes rimmed red and scowl plastered to her pretty face. Glared at him tiredly "come to tell me 'I told you so?'" She muttered , angry with herself for letting this happen again. Ashamed that she was so weak for each and every lie they gave her.

She just wanted somebody to love her. Just her. Was that so much to ask for?

Quinn felt a pinch in his chest at how she thought he would throw her pain straight in her face , shaking his head at her. Feelings Hurt .

But he didn't let his feeling show. He never did.

Instead he simply sighed and shrugged his shoulders casually before asking "no. Wanna make some cookies? I want something sugary." Picking it out from the top of his head.

He just wanted her to stop looking so fucking sad over some asshole that didn't even deserve to breathe the same air as she did.

Cherries lips parted a little as she frowned, looking over at him in disbelief . She watched him shuffle on his feet, not meeting her eyes. Instead he fiddled with the soft dressing gown on the back of her door and she found her glare softening immediately .

Sniffling quietly , she shuffled off the bed and pulled her sweater further down her thighs . Shoving her feet into the fluffy cow face slippers , she missed the way Quinn looked down at the ridiculous googley eyed slippers with a small quirk of his lips. Fondness covering his face.

So She sighed "chocolate?" She muttered. Peering up at him through wet lashes , sniffling again as she wiped at her face tiredly. Just wanting this awful day to be over.

Quinn hummed a little as he opened her door, nudging her through it first gently first before he followed her out.

"Obviously." He replied quietly , ignoring the raised eyebrow Trevor shot them from the couch as he played video games.

He wasn't doing anything, wasn't going to try anything . No matter what Trevor thought he knew.

He just wanted her to stop fucking crying all alone In her bedroom like a saddo. That's all. and cookies always made her feel better before. He had once watched her eat an entire plate full after watching the notebook.

Cookies were always the best option to go with.

Cherrie pulled her herself up on the countertop next to him , watching quietly as he pulled out all the ingredients and got to work. She held the mixing bowl while he measured out the sugar. Silence lasting between them for a while, neither knowing just what to say.

Legs swinging , she placed her foot on his hip as he leaned over to pour the dry ingredients into the bowl. Cherrie stirring it as she neaded her toes into his hip absentmindedly .

Quinn's lips quirked at her actions but he didn't move away, he just pinched her ankle and muttered casually "the moron kind of remembered me of megamind with that big ass forhead of his."

The casualness of his comment made her snort , both amused and startled.

Then She laughed . Hollowly. Taking her foot back as she placed the bowl onto the counter and reached beside her to grab a glass of much needed wine.

Quinn watched from the corner of his eye as she poured the red wine until the glass was almost full, sighing quietly to himself as she gulped it down without any hesitation . Knowing what was going to happen. They had this routine pinned down by now.

"Only megamind turned out to be a good guy in the end. This one turned out to be a fucking liar and a cheat." She grumbled upset .

Exhaling loudly as she shook her head in disbelief at herself , wondering when her luck in love would change. Or if it ever even would.

Quinn didn't know what to say. So it went quiet between them again, Cherrie sipping on her wine while he put the cookies on the tray with a icecream scoop.

Eyes down to the tray, he muttered "but he was also blue so.."

Cherrie grumbled "maybe I like them blue. Matches my fucking mood eh?" She laughed amusedly , eyes down to her glass missing the way Quinn frowned sadly at her.

Stupidly , she added without thinking "I'm gonna have to redownload tinder again. That'll be fun."

Quinn slammed the oven door shut a little too hard, making her look over at him, startled by the sound.

She found his eyes already on her, face hard and lips pursed as he struggled to push down the rush of anger and sadness he felt . Shaking his head at her in disbelief .

"Isn't that what started this mess in the first place?" He remarked , unimpressed by how she was already planning on her next heartbreak when it had only been hours since her last one.

She was a fucking glutine for punishment. He wished it didn't hurt to know why she did it. Wish it didn't hurt so much to see her to find love in every single guy that wasn't him. In all the wrong places and wrong people.

He wasn't even an option in her mind , and it stung.

"Why not take a break from it?" He added hopefully. It would lessen both of their heartbreak, at least for a little while.

Cherrie, tipsy and pissed off with the whole male species in general. Scoffed cruelly "and be forever single like you are? I don't think so. I actually want somebody to come home to." She muttered coldly.

Quinn paused.

Gripping the towel tightly in his hand, felt the blow of her words. Then Turned them straight back at her like an arrow because arguing was familiar .

Feelings just hurt.

It was easier to be angry than to be sad.

"Better to be single then getting constantly cheated on by guys that don't even see you as a fucking human being. You're just a stepping stone for them to use until they find the next best thing." He snapped back.

Wincing as soon as the cruel words had left his mouth , knowing that he had gone too far. That she was still too vulnerable, her heart still too sore with heartache to hear it.

Wounded , she jumped down from the counter and glared over at him angrily.

Slamming her empty glass down onto counter, she felt her lip quiver , another arrow to her chest .

She looked into Quinn's hardened face, then saw his eyes shift uneasily , saw the remorse come a little too late.

"Fuck you!" She shouted at him hatefully .

Head spinning and heart hurting like a bitch because she knew that he was right. And that's what hurt the most.

“At least I can get someone! You're single because no one fucking wants you! Not even for night! At least I have someone to cry over! What do you have? Hockey! That's it!" She was hurting him and she knew it but she couldn't shut her mouth. She never could. They never could.

Months of hurting and months of men invalidating her feelings, and treating her like shit.

She was enough for men to fuck but that was it and it fucking hurt so bad. It hurt to see her friends roll their eyes when it happened to her again and again and again. Like she wanted it to happen. Like she asked to be used and thrown away like a dirty rag when they were done with her.

It hurt to see Quinn not a say a thing when it did. To have him so close , yet he didn't hold ber. Didn't wipe away her tears. He always stayed away.

He didn't look at her when she got ready for her dates, didn't say a word when she brought them back home. But she saw the judgment all over his face when they would still be there in the morning , saw the way he would scoff beneath his breath and leave as soon as he saw her in their T-shirt , not returning until they were gone again.

It was like he didn't give a single shit and it fucking stung because that was all she wanted him to do. But he never did. He treat her like a friend he barely tolerated.

He would make her food but he would never sit down to eat with her. He would hand her a drink on a night out but leave as soon as she got up to dance. He never stayed around to hear her reply, never stayed long enough for her to ask him to dance with her . Never looked at her long enough for her to catch his eye and smile his way.

And it hurt and it made her angry that it did because she didn't understand why she felt that way. Why she wanted Quinn to look at her , why she wanted him to listen to her stupid jokes and go crazy Golfing with her. Why she saw something at some stupid store and immediately wondered what he would think about it. Why she always looked for him in each crowded room even when she knew he wouldn't be there , preferring to stay home and out of the way.

She didn't get it. Because Quinn wasn't her type. She usually went for tall, tanned , six packed guys with more ego than brains . The kind that looked so good that it made her brain halt all together , the guys so hot that she forgot what assholes they were as soon as they took off their shirts and flashed their white grins at her. That was what she usually went for and it always ended up in tears, for her at least.

Quinn was ...Quinn wasn't them. At all. And maybe ..maybe that was why it stung so much to hear the words come out from his mouth.

When all she wanted to do was talk to him and tell him that she was sorry , that she didn't mean it. That any girl would be lucky to have him.

Because he was, he was a good guy. Beneath the grumbles and the mumbles, he was good.

She felt like a evil cunt stood next to him. Both of them glaring at each other, too tired and too worked up. Both should have known better than to do this then.

"Fuck you!" Quinn shouted back at her, so hurt and so fucking angry.

Trevor , quickly hauled his ass up off the couch as soon as he heard them screaming at each other nastily . Running into the kitchen , wide eyes darting between the two of them in shock.

"What the hell is going on?!" He exclaimed while pulling a seething Cherrie away from Quinn before she could hit him. Or do something just as stupid.

She choked on a sob "he's a fucking dick! He Can dish out the truth but can't handle it himself!" She snapped out .

Quinn scoffed coldly at her in return "truth? The truth is that you're so fucking desperate for attention that you get with these stupid assjole and then-" he ignored Trevor rapidly shaking his head in warning to him, Quinn only seeing red after being bathed in green jealously for so long .

“-Then You expect us to be all sympathetic when it ends in you getting fucked over again! You cause your own bullshit Cherrie !" He shouted at her furiously .

Trevor winced in shock "shit- man- come on-"

Cherrie snatched her arm from his grip before laughing humourlessly "fine! If that's how you feel then I won't fucking tell you anything anymore! I'll deal with my bullshit on my own! Since I'm such a fucking attention seeking bitch-!" She shoved past the both of them in a rage . Just wanting to go to sleep and forget that she even existed.

Quinn groaned loudly , hands rubbing over his face in frustration . Because that wasn't what he wanted to say or what he meant at all. But he had never been very good at words. Just like she wasn't with her own either.

"I didn't say that-I didn't call you a bitch-"

"You might as well have! But trust me, I don't think of you very highly right now either!" She screamed while pushing open her bedroom door "so fuck you and your cookies you asshole!" She screamed over her shoulder , then the door slammed shut behind her.

Leaving both Trevor and Quinn in a tense silence in the kitchen . Trevor looking at him in disbelief as he ran his hand through his hair stressfully.

Disappointment quickly filled his gaze as he looked at Quinn. "dude-what was that? Screaming at her isn't going to get her to-"

Quinn scoffed angrily , cutting him off. "god just shut up! I don't care alright? She's just acting like she always does. Blames everybody but herself!" He snapped. Pulling the cookies out of the oven before they burned.

The anger making him practically throw them down onto the plate, the hotness of them not even registering with him. Too busy with his head full of her tearful eyes and razor blade tongue.

Trevor rolled his eyes at them behind his back. "just like you then. You like to blame her and the guys but I don't see you stepping up and doing what you want to." He said blandly. Sick of them both .

Quinn swallowed, eyes still down to his hands putting away the cookies. "you don't know what I want to do. I don't know why I even fucking bother." He muttered upset. Grabbing a smaller plate and placing two of the bigger cookies on it.

Trevor smiled a little in amusement as he watched his actions.

"cause you love her." He simply responded.

Quinn shook his head in denial but his down turned eyes were glossy as he grabbed a glass and filled it with cold water .

“I don't. She just-" he inhaled sharply in frustration "she's so fucking stubborn. She doesn’t listen. She looks right through me-"

Trevor groaned again in annoyance. "man. She's not psychic . And shes obviously not smart with love. She's not gonna know if you don't tell her. You haven't even tried!" He wanted to shake him until he realised that she was right there.

All he had to do was reach out for her and never let her go.

Quinn scoffed lowly at him "she doesn't feel that way about me. The new guy every week tells me that. I can't tell her-" the thought made him want to be sick.

What would he even say? He always fucked it up when it came to speaking . Just now proved it to him.

Trevor just shrugged and said "so show her then. Show her what a good boyfriend you could be. Show her how a man in love is supposed to treat his girl. Show her what it feels like when you're the one." He felt like a love guru . Maybe reading all those trashy magazines in airports about love had finally payed off.

He couldn't wait to rub it in all of their friends faces that he was right , that he was their Cupid’s Angel . He just needed it to work.

Both so he could be brag to everyone about him being right ,but mostly so his friends would stop pouting and just be happy together . It seemed so simple in his mind.

Quinn paused and frowned a little at him "show her? How?" His curiosity was peaked because he didn't know how much longer he could go on seeing her with everyone but him.

It hurt too much now.

Trevor grinned smugly at him "give her the boyfriend experience. You can't tell her how you feel? Show her then . Do what you want to. Do everything that you stop yourself from doing because you're too scared she won't feel the same way. Then see how she reacts." He told him confident that his plan would work.

And Quinn, well, Quinn felt like he had everything and yet nothing left to lose.

All he wanted was Cherrie but he needed to show her just how much he cared and shouting at her wasn't the way to go about it.

The next morning Cherrie slugged herself into the kitchen to find a plate already set in front of her usual seat, brows furrowing as she watched Quinn scrape scrambled eggs , bacon and scraps onto the plate . Even greeting her with a small smile as he placed a glass of orange juice beside her plate too.

She slowly took her seat, warily glancing over to Trevor to see if he was finding this as weird as she was.

Having expected Quinn to still be pissed off after their fight last night , he usually stayed on the couch with his bowl of cereal. Refusing to talk to anyone until it was past twelve.

But it was half nine in the morning and he was cooking her breakfast and smiling at her, Cherrie felt on edge . Carefully poking at the food on her plate , eyeing it suspiciously.

"Have you put laxatives in this?" She blurted out, still half asleep and wondering if she was dreaming . Because in what world did Quinn smile and make her breakfast for no reason?

Quinn looked over at her with a offended frown, ignoring Trevor snickering at the look on her face.

When he glanced at him, he just gave him a encouraging thumbs up. The plan to treat her like he was her boyfriend, without actually being it , already set in motion.

He felt awkward as he tried to explain "you usually forgot to eat in the mornings and well...that's stupid and I don't want you to be hungry until lunch so.." he shrugged it off, making his own bowl of cereal. Taking the seat opposite her at the table instead of heading off to the couch like he usually did.

Cherrie was looking at him like he was going to shoot her right there and then.

"Quinn..." she didn't know what to say. But hunger got the better of her, so she shovelled the food into her mouth and decided to shut up and not complain. Humming happily at the taste.

"Thanks." She muttered around her fork , digging in. Missing the way his eyes lit up as he watched her enjoy the food he had made her. The first three attempts burnt and chucked at the bottom of the trash can.

But attempt four was a success.

He hid his grin behind his spoon , swallowing his mouthful as he eyed her then, in a large shirt , sleep in her eyes and hair a wild mess. Curls going off in every direction . He loved seeing her like this, to him , this was when she was most beautiful. Just being herself.

Remembering the way Trevor had told him to compliment her and tell her just what he thought , he tried to give it a go.

Tried to.

Clearing his throat a little he gathered his courage then "I like your hair." He blurted out. Grimacing a little at how strange he sounded , as though he too couldn't believe what he was saying.

Cherrie carefully eyed him over her plate , self consciously running a hand through her hair in attempts to get it to stick down.

“It's a mess. I haven't even brushed it yet." She said, wondering if he was messing with her.

Quinn let out a awkward laugh , shaking his head slowly as he motioned towards her hair like an idiot .

"no. I mean it always is-" seeing the offended look on her face he quickly added "I mean. I like it how it always is. Even when it is messy!" He wanted to die.

Trevor was face palming , eyes closing in disbelief as he watched Quinn fuck up something as simple as complimenting her . But to his defence , they had spent the last few years only ever insulting each other and every honest compliment came wrapped up in sarcasm and jokes.

So he was...new to this.

Cherrie frowned "geez thanks Quinn. I know it's a mess , you don't have to rub it in!" She snapped, still tired and still upset from last night.

She quickly finished off her breakfast and stood up, Downing the orange juice all the while glaring at him.

Quinn spluttered while trying to fix his mistake , hands waving about in front of him "I'm not! I don't mean it badly! I love your hair!" He tried to assure her.

She clearly didn’t believe him , scoffing "you've just called is messy!" She exclaimed.

He huffed in frustration wondering why he was so bad at this. "It is! But that's because you've just woken up! And it still looks good! That's all I'm trying to say." He almost shouted , annoyed that he couldn't even compliment her right.

Unfortunately Cherrie thought that he was annoyed at her .

So she glared, looked at his own messy hair and scoffed again "well. Whatever Quinn! When was the last time you even washed yours?!" She threw at him before stomping off to her room again.

Leaving Quinn to Gape at where she had just been stood in disbelief . Trevor sighing long and hard at him, patting his shoulder in pity.

"Not your best effort. Could use a little more work on that." He winced . Having forgotten that quinn lacked any charm at all. He had the grace of a drunk elephant .

It was going to be long time until their plan worked.

It got even stranger after that and Cherrie felt like she was living in a alternate world where Quinn Hughes actually put in effort to being around her, always making up some excuses to help her and just be there by her side.

Like now, after hearing her tell Trevor that she was heading out to get some drinks with her friends, Quinn hadn’t hesitated before offering to drive her there , despite the fact that he has been in the middle of playing video games with his own friends.

He had hauled his ass off the couch, grabbed his car Keys and practically ran to catch up with her speedy steps.

Eyeing him warily as he Unlocked his car , then held open her door and stepped back, waving his hand at her to get inside.

"You don't have to . I could have gotten the bus." She muttered utterly confused to why he was suddenly offering his services like this.

He didn't like driving anyone anywhere and she knew it. That's why she had never asked for a ride.

Quinn got into the drivers seat, started the car before simply shrugging his shoulders casually as though his cheeks weren’t a bright pink.

"it's not big deal. I wasn't doing anything anyways ." He lied.

Cherrie played with the ends of her hair , side eyeing him as she watched him place his hand at the back of her head rest , looking between their seats as he backed out of the car park.

Making her Inhale a little too sharply as she eyed his tense bicep and focused face, sinking further down on her seat. Wondering how he could look so good in a matching sweatshirt and sweatpants , scruff and all.

She wondered if she was having some sort of crisis because now all she could think about was how hot Quinn really was. A thought that she had desperately tried to never remind herself of.

But it was hard to do when he was suddenly being so nice to her , cooking her food and driving her places just because he wanted to.

She felt her heart soften. And hated it. Because what the actual fuck?

"You were playing games with your friends ." She tried to argue . Feeling a little bad that he had jumped up after her, not even giving any excuses to them. Something he would no doubt be getting rinsed about later.

Quinn looked over at her briefly , admiring the glitter around her eyes , before looking back at the road with a heavy exhale .

“Yeah well. That can wait. I like your dress." He suddenly told her. Changing the subject abruptly.

She glanced down at her little black dress and smiled a little , feeling her cheeks flush . Not used to Quinn complimenting her like this.

It felt nice. The giddy feeling in her stomach Letting know that she wasn't as immune to Quinn as she likes to make herself believe.

"Thanks. I'm er-I'll try to be quieter coming in tonight. I probably won't get back till after midnight." She told him quietly.

Recalling how pissed off he had been the last time that she had woken him up after one of her nights out , drunkenly crashing into the coat stand and managing to knock everything over in the process.

This time, Quinn just shook his head with a soft hum.

Hesitating for a moment before mumbling "I can pick you up too. I don't want you taking the bus home while drunk." As he pulled up outside the bar that she always went to with her friends.

Warily eyeing a group of young guys laughing outside of it, hoping that none of them caught her eye. His heart couldn’t take much more.

Unbuckling herself , she shook her head quickly "oh no. I'll just get an Uber-"

Rolling his eyes at her stubbornness to accept his help , he sighed loudly . Looking at her with a raised brow "Cherrie. Please just let me pick you up? I won't sleep knowing you’re out anyways." He said Honestly .

He never did. His body only ever relaxed when he knew she was safe and at home with him.

Surprised , she slowly nodded her head in acceptance . Smiling a little unsurely at him "okay. If you're sure.."

He smiled back at her gently , exhaling a light laugh at how out of place she looked then. Looking at him like she had never even met him before. He winced to himself and wondered guilty just how much of a jackass he had accidentally been to her lately out of his own jealousy. Realising that in an effort to not let her know just what she meant to him, he had pushed her away. Something he had never wanted to do.

But he was trying now. This was him trying. He was going to make up for it all. He swore.

"I am. Text me when you're ready to come home alright?" He said lowly . Reaching over to fix the strap of her dress back into place gently before moving back again before she could even blink .

Cherrie exhaled shakily , nodded her head and pulled open the door. Slowly getting out "alright." She agreed . Still in shock by how nice he was being towards her now.

All she could think was as she walked to the bar door, glancing ober her shoulder to see Quinn still waiting to see her though the door, only pulling off when she was safe inside. Was.

She could get used to this.

It was nearly two in the morning by the time he picked her back up from the bar, chuckling a little to himself at how drunk she was . Practically throwing herself into her seat, heels quickly disregarded as she grinned over at him happily.

Quinn laughing quietly as she suddenly reached over to squeeze his cheeks between her hand, squishing his lips together as she giggled at him. Pinching his pink cheeks gently .

“I was thinking about you." She blurted out , leaning forward to slap a kiss to the end of his nose before pulling away.

Casually leaning back into her seat like she hadn't just flipped his heart around, Quinn flushing red as he buckled her in. Laughing a little shyly , skin tingly from her fingertips. Shocked by the sudden touch.

"Yeah?" He turned on the car , then reached back with one hand to hand her his sweatshirt, a bottle of water and then a McDonald box. Grinning at the look on her pretty face.

Cherrie gasped loudly , beaming at him as she threw on his sweatshirt without a single complaint. Digging straight into the fries , looking over at him with wide eyes. Glossy and dazed. Like he was her saviour.

"Dude..." she breathed out in amazement "I can't believe you got me McDonalds. That's so nice." She spoke around a mouthful of fries. Never taking her eyes off him.

“And you look so pretty. Why?" She spoke her mind. Drunk and not having a filter at all.

Quinn laughed bashfully , stomach fluttering from her sweet words. He scratched at his jaw awkwardly "I knew you'd be hungry. And I don't.. look pretty." He mumbled shyly .

Heart pounding in his chest as he briefly glanced over at her at the stop light, taken by the sight of her drunk, in his sweatshirt and smiling at him like he had made her whole night.

She had made his. He smiled to himself , chewing on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from giggling like a lovesick idiot at how soft she made him feel.

She giggled and offered him a fry, holding it in front of his mouth as he quickly leaned forward and took it from her fingers with his teeth. Muttering a small thanks as he did so.

"You do." She insisted , leaning over to feed him another one.

Tapping her finger up against his pouty lip after she did , eyes locked on his mouth as he swallowed. Nervously side eyeing her , his cheeks a pretty red.

"Do you remember what you told me the first time that frat bro broke my heart?" She suddenly asked him, finally pulling her hand away.

Crossing her legs beneath her, Quinn reached over and gently tugged down her dress as soon as he caught sight of a peek of lace. Letting out a light laugh as he tapped her thigh for a moment, squinting his eyes as he thought that far back.

"That was three years ago Cherrie. You've had like a gazillion other douchbag boyfriends since then." He commented teasingly , fingers clenching around the wheel as he forced himself to keep his hands to himself .

No matter how adorable he y she looked in his sweatshirt , dress peeking out the bottom, hair a mess and mascara smudged beneath her eyes as she gobbled down her burger like a little gremlin.

Mouth full of burger , she grumbled "not that many." Swallowing her bite, she looked at the raised judgmental brow her gave her and sighed loudly "fine that many. But the first time I cried in front of you.."

Quinn groaned at the bittersweet memory , heart clenching as he remembered the way her big eyes had filled with tears as she sobbed into his chest after finding her boyfriend fucking another girl at a party .

Quinn remembered her crying , reminded talking her to sleep. He also remembered hauling his ass over to the party to beat the guys face in. His knuckles had aches for a week after that.

Not that she knew about it. That was something he swore his brother and friends to keep hush about .

"I told you that he wasn't worth your tears and that you deserved someone that made you happy." He remembered then, softly repeating the words that still stood true now.

Cherrie hummed quietly .

Nodding her head as she glanced over at him, yawning as she finished her burger. Gaze lingering on the healing scab on his nose from his last injury , she sighed quietly.

"This has made me happy." She told him softly , tugging her hands into the sleeve of his sweatshirt , watching the colour bloom across his face at her words.

He chuckled a little , heart beating a little faster as he spared her a quick glance. "Yeah? Which part? McDonald's or the sweatshirt that I'm never getting back now?" He teased lightly. Pride filling him that he had put that smile on her face.

Just Him. Nobody else. It felt nice.

Cherrie just shrugged lightly as they pulled back up to their apartment block "all of it. Thanks Q."

Not even ten minutes later , a drunk and confused Cherrie was bursting into Trevors bedroom , startling him awake with a scared gasp. Eyes going wide as he gaped up at her, watching her pace in front of his bed with a strange look on her face.

"What the fuck? Are you on drugs?!" He exclaimed quietly , mindful of the fact that it was three o'clock in the fucking morning .

He sent her a tired glare. Hand over his racing heart as he cursed her out.

She just sighed dramatically and placed her hands on her flaming cheeks , concerned with how she suddenly felt .

“Somethings wrong." She said worriedly "Quinn is being nice to me all the time. Why is he being so nice?" She demanded to know.

Trevor just snorted a little in amusement , before yawning.

“He's always been a little extra nice to you." He replied. Cause it was true.

Cherrie wasn't having it. Shaking her head with a deep frown on her face "not like this!" She denied quickly .

"he's-hes like doing everything for me and-he keeps making me breakfast and driving me everywhere. And he keeps smiling at me and complimenting me and-"

Trevor cut her off with a small smirk , smugness filling him as he realised that his plan was actually working. She was noticing Quinn's efforts.

Plan 'boyfriend' was a total success.

He knew it. Call him love guru now.

"Why do you think he is?" He asked her , trying to work reverse psychology on her. But he forgot who he was dealing with here.

Haunted by a long list of asshole ex boyfriends , she grimaced worriedly "is he mad at me or something?" She wondered out loud "like is he trying to lure me into a false sense of security before he gets his revenge?"

Trevor was horrified, gaping up at his poor friend in disbelief. Genuinely concerned .

“Jesus Cherrie! You need to stop dating these psychos! Holy shit!" He exclaimed shocked , rubbing at his face stressfully.

“So what if he's being nice? You like it right?" He said.

Cherrie slowly nodded her head, looking off to the side as a grin slowly pulled at her lips without her even realising it.

"yeah I mean-" she trailed off with a little sigh, picturing the way he had whispered goodnight to her as he dropped her off to her room. Kissing her cheek and promising to get her a really greasy breakfast for her hangover in the morning.

What a turn on.

"He's got a nice smile hasn't he?" She mumbled , fiddling with the ends of her hair as she pictured it. Crooked and uneven .

So cute. She sighed dreamily without even realising it.

Trevor smirked to himself and tried not to fist bump the air in front of him. Fighting back a smug giggle.

I'm a fucking Cupid’s angel . He thought proudly . Quinn better make me best man at their wedding . Cause otherwise he would still be pining from afar while she got her heartbroken every other month.

It became a pattern after that. Cherrie arriving home after work to find a new vase of flowers on her bedside table every Friday , alongside some candy or some of her favourite food whenever he knew she needed the extra kick me up.

She started going to more of his games, wearing his jersey and cheering him on. Waiting for him by his car, getting dinner together each time they won. Or just lazying out on the couch playing some rather violent video games if they didn't. But Quinn still wanted to be by her side.

He texted her in the mornings. He checked in on her during the day, making sure that she was okay. Sending her stupid jokes and memes that he knew she would like, sending her cat videos that he found (spent hours collecting for times like these) . FaceTiming her when he was at away games and missing her. Which was always.

Then he started travelling home with her, then met her father and started going golfing with him while her mother fussed over him and kept giving her daughter knowing looks .

Cherrie just looking amusedly confused as she watched him easily fit into her crazy family , so much so that he went out to guys night with her brothers who had hated every other guy that she had brought home.

But they loved Quinn. They all did and she was filled with a strange , overwhelming feeling in her chest when she came into the front room one morning to see Quinn laughing over the phone with her dad, both of them talking shit about some Golfing enemies they had thrashed that weekend .

Her father had once hit an ex boyfriend of hers with a golf club. Ran over another one with the wheel of a golf buggy. So this was rather shocking sight for her to see him being so friendly with Quinn.

But it was different this time she guessed. Because Quinn wasn't her boyfriend. But sometimes it felt like he was. And recognising the butterflies making house in her stomach , she recognised the racing of her heart whenever he nudged her shoulder and whispered some lame joke in her ear just to see her smile.

She finally saw the signs.

She noticed the way Quinn always looked for her first in every room, the way he would keep looking over at her when they held party's to make sure that she was still okay.

She noticed the way he smiled when she did, the way he went out of his way to be near her. Even coming along to the dentist with her, claiming that he was 'bored'. But she knew that he just wanted to take care of her .

It was the way he automatically reached for her hand when they went to cross a road , the way he refused to let anyone else buy her drinks at the bar. guarding her drink with his life when she went to dance or to the toilet. Glaring down any guy that even so much as looked at it or her wrongly.

She saw it now and she felt it right through. And she felt so fucking stupid that it had taken her this long to see what was right in front of her the whole damn time.

So when they sat in their favourite bar, watching a game on the tv while they waited for their friends to arrive .

And then when a cute guy, usually her type, walked over and asked her if she wanted to join him and if he could buy her a drink or get her number . For the first time in her life she turned the guy down politely , and didn't feel any regret.

Glancing over at Quinn to see his eyes down to the wooden bar top, his brows furrowed as he fiddled with the label on his beer , no longer focused on her. No longer smiling.

She walked away from the guy and sat down beside him again, nudging Quinn arm gently when he still didn't look up.

“You okay?" She asked him softly , concerned by the sudden change in his demeanour .

Quinn just mumbled something she couldn't hear, making her frown. "Huh?" She leant her head down , trying to catch his gaze.

He gave her it for a split second , catching her eye before looking away just as quick.

“I'm fine." He mumbled , "I just -you haven't been on a date in a while. I think this might have been the longest you've been single." He muttered .

Refusing to look at her. Heart squeezing in his chest as he glanced across the bar to see the guy she had been talking to occasionally glancing over at her, exactly the type of guy she went for.

Everything he wasn't.

Cherrie laughed a little, swallowing thickly as she realised that he was right . Knowing exactly why she hadn't even thought of moving on to another guy too.

"yeah. I mean-" she inhaled trying to find the right words to say and failing "I don't want to go through any of that shit again anyway. No more wasting time with the wrong guy." She looked at him , hoping he'd understand.

Quinn slowly turned his hand , brows furrowing in confusion .

“You didn't-" he glanced back over at the guy before looking back at her "you didn't give him your number?" He breathed out, shoulders tense with fear.

Cherrie shook her head and watched the way he exhaled , his shoulders relaxing again. Finally looking her in the eye, relief flowing from his body.

He wasn't exactly subtle. She wondered how she had missed the signs for so long.

But she had never been very smart when it came to love. A little stupid, a little naive. But she got it now.

And hopefully it wasn't too late.

"I didn't." She said and watched him smile a little to himself "no more tears for you to wipe away ." She joked lamely .

Quinn just laughed in relief "yeah. Yeah. I never did like to see you cry."

And that was how Cherrie found herself , the following night , standing in front of Quinn's room with flowers in her hand , knocking on his door gently . Taking in a deep breath to gather her courage , telling herself that she could do this.

When Quinn opened his door, he froze.

Eyes darting down to the flowers in her hand , then back up to her, taking in her pretty dress and perfect makeup. Her red lips and hopeful eyes.

He didn't dare to breath , hope was a dangerous thing after all.

"What-" he hesitated for a moment too long , shocked at the sight in front of him. He swallowed thickly .

"are you going on a date?" He fucking hoped not. He would cry.

If she had come to his door to show off her flowers and let him see how beautiful she looked for another man, Quinn didn't think his heart could take it. Not anymore.

Cherrie gently shook her head , laughing a little

Nervously as she shuffled awkwardly on feet. "

“Can I come in?" She asked him quietly , knowing for a fact that Trevor was somewhere listening in. He had been smirking at her since the moment she came home with flowers and found her nervously mutttering to herself around the apartment.

He knew. She knew. Quinn was the only one that didn't. But he was about to.

He pulled open his door and let her in, gently closing it behind her as he warily watched her stand in front of his bed , his eyes widening in disbelief when she suddenly thrust out the flowers to him, laughing nervously. Flushed.

"There for you." She told him quietly , watching him carefully take the flowers from her hands.

Looking down at them with parted lips, his breath hitching as he dared to peer back over at her. Chewing on his bottom lip. Heart racing in his chest.

"Cherrie-is this-" he looked at her hopefully "what's going on?" He wanted to know. Didn't want to get his hopes up. But he didn't have to worry about his heart breaking because she was about to make it all better .

Finally.

Taking a deep breath , she spoke calmly "Quinn?"

He exhaled just as nervously , gently setting aside the flowers on his bed as he slowly moved closer to her. "Yeah?"

"Can I date you?" She bluntly asked him. Deciding not to beat around the bush. She just wanted him

Now. Sick of wasting so much time. Three, nearly four fucking years of hurt, of pining , of disappointment and pain. And it had finally come down to this.

And all Cherrie could realise then was as she looked a blushing , wide eyed Quinn hesitantly standing in front of , sweet and kind and so fucking pretty , was that it should have been him all along.

It had been really . She was just so fucking stupid for chasing fake love in strangers when she had the real thing right here in front of her all along.

Quinn felt his ears ring , heartbeat in his mouth as he gaped at her in disbelief .

“What?" He choked out a nervous laugh. Swallowing thickly . "are you serious or are you fucking with me?" He Honeslty felt a little like he could faint then. Breaking out in a anxious sweat as he gaped down at her.

Cherrie just giggled and placed her hand on his bicep , squeezing gently as she moved closer to him, peering up at him through her lashes deliberately .

"I'm not fucking with you, I want to fuck you but thats different." She slyly muttered. Taking the chance now that she finally knew she had it.

Quinn gently placed his hands on her hips , inhaling deeply through his nose as he tried to push away his shock to speak clearly .

Cheeks on fire as he mumbled "you can. Do that." Hardly able to meet her eye. Feeling like he was dreaming.

Cherrie beamed up at him , cupping his cheeks in her hands firmly . Giving them a little loving squeeze as she tried not to squeal in excitement .

"you'll be my boyfriend ? Seriously?" She double checked .

Biting down on her bottom lip to try and contain her happiness. But it shone through. It was unstoppable . Just like his love for her.

Quinn laughed sheepishly , gently nudging her nose with his own as he admitted to her shyly "I've er-kind of been acting like your boyfriend all along Cherrie. I was trying to get you to notice.. giving you the boyfriend experience I guess..”

Cherrie eyes widened , both embarrassed that she was so fucking oblivious and just overwhelmed with love that she felt for him.

Because he had never given up on her. Not once.

He had waited. And she had never felt happier than she did in that moment . And she knew that this was it.

So she kissed him.

Hands cupping his jaw as she tugged him close , free hand tangling in his hair as she gently tugged at the strands until he was moaning lowly against her mouth. Kissing her back just as firmly , just as relieved as he tasted the taste of her mouth on his tongue .

Titling his head to deepen the kiss, his nose nudging against her own, he laughed breathlessly against her mouth.

Pulling away just enough to let her know "I love you." Before Kissing the sides of her mouth too, then her chin. And then all across her beautiful face , grinning widely against her cheekbone as she giggled and embraced him, arms sliding sound his neck to hold him there.

"Fuck me. I love you." She said it like it was something she had always said. And maybe it should have been. Because Quinn had always been right there. Waiting for her to notice him.

And she did now. She noticed the way his cheeks flushed red as he traced soft circles into her cheekbone with his thumbs , gazing down at her like she was his god.

She noticed the way his kiss lingered on her lips , the way he sighed so softly and sagged against her in relief , letting her hold him. Trusting her with himself . Letting her pull him close and whisper how much she needed him, how she was never going to look away from him ever again.

And Quinn. Wrapped up in her love , lips swollen from her kisses. Realised that for the first time ever , Trevor was actually right.

His plan had worked.

He got the girl.

God. He thought with a dazed grin against her neck as she pulled him down to the bed , losing his breath as he looked down at her beneath him. Still in disbelief that this was real. That this was actually happening.

Trevor was never going to let this go. He was going to be even more insufferable than he already was when he found out .

But it was totally worth it, he thought with a dazed grin as she roughly tugged his shirt off , tearing it off impatiently when it didn’t come off quick enough. kissing every inch of his skin that she could reach with her mouth , sucking and biting her name into his skin until he was a panting mess beneath her .

Until they are both naked and both together , till she was taking control and pinning his hands above his head as she slipped her tongue into his mouth confidently . Riding him like she was his cowboy , his head thrown back in bliss as he moaned so loudly , so shamelessly as she fucked him like she was in love. Like she knew she had all of him. Like she knew that this was the rest of their lives.

And between the pants, the moans and the shrill screams of pleasure. Quinn just knew that there would be no keeping their love a secret. Because Trevor and their poor neighbours definitely heard him scream her name as she made him see heaven.

It was never subtle at all. Never had been and never would be. But he didn’t have it in him to care at all because he had wanted this for so long .

All it took was for him to give her a bit of the boyfriend experience for her to realise that he was the one. That he had been there waiting for her all along.

And if this , he is he’s breathlessly up at the ceiling in a daze as she buried her face into his neck with a low moan, biting underneath his jaw until he was groaning her neck , his cock buried deep inside her as she rocked his world. If this was the just the beginning of her girlfriend experience, then he couldn’t wait for the rest of his life with her. Excitement , desire and love filling him , mind , body and pure fucking soul.

And It only took forever. But That wasn't long at all.

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