Tumgik
#all of that suffering only for him to die with no light in his life whatsoever
ivanttakethis · 1 month
Text
Ivan died believing that no one cared about him or loved him or understood him.
Ivan died believing that his emotions were so shallow and insignificant they weren’t worthy of acknowledgment.
Ivan died believing he was completely alone.
105 notes · View notes
stsgooo · 7 months
Text
Haunted.
Tumblr media
✩࿐ summary: geto had suffered enough, why should he let you go too?
warning(s): suicidal thoughts/idealizations, death, poor coping mechanisms, gn!reader, depression, isolation, description of violence, angst no comfort, curse!reader, cult leader geto things, character study vibes, not proofread (sorry). wc; 15.7k
pairing(s): geto suguru/reader, geto suguru/gojo satoru/reader (briefly), geto suguru/gojo satoru
a/n: hii, been a while since i’ve written an x reader fic so hope this abides by everyone’s standards :) as i finished this, i realized that this probably should've been multiple parts because of how long it is, but it was too far gone at that point. anyway, i hope you enjoy and if you don't i would rather not hear about it!
available to read on ao3. | divider 1
Tumblr media
I. 2005
SUGURU WAS SURE YOU HAD A DEATH WISH.
Out of everyone, it seemed as if you had some crazy switch in you that just flipped during a battle. It was as if you got tunnel vision and your every move was erratic, death the only option. It did not matter to you whether you lived or died. Saving others was your main and only goal. That scared him to death.
You were powerful. Powerful enough where you didn’t need to go all out on every curse that even hinted at having some type of power over you or others. Yet you always found yourself in Shoko’s room, sporting one cut too many, and a bright grin as if you weren’t pushing the limit. You would wave away any and all concern with that smile.
I’m just fine, you would roll your eyes at their worry. Really, you guys, stop fussing so much.
Suguru had argued with you about it before. Both of you had been sent on a mission to some elementary school, few kids had gone missing. You found the curse, and the kids, and a fight ensued. It was nothing crazy. Not until you practically served yourself on a platter for the curse and told Suguru to run away with the kids. Of course, he didn’t leave. What kind of friend would he be if he just let you die? What kind of sorcerer would he be if he just ran away while you were torn limb by limb? He’d be a failure of a sorcerer and a failure of a friend.
It bothered him. It enraged him how easily you threw your life away for others. A hint of danger and you were willing to get yourself killed over it. The complete disregard for your life in the first year that you all knew each other irked his very soul. Your behavior was worrisome. It confused him.
The buildup to his fight with you was a lot to unpack in itself.
The car ride from the hospital the kids were at was silent. Filled with a tension that unsettled his heart and he was sure unsettled your mind. You made no attempt at small talk or passing a good job, it was just silent. He silently thanked you for it. Because he was sure if you spoke then, he would’ve blown up. He would’ve said horrible things. So he silently thanked you for your silence, your silent allowance to let him think. You even fell asleep and Suguru couldn’t help but ask himself how you could sleep so soundly after such a close brush with death.
Three days later, he could tell Satoru and Shoko noticed the tension.
He knew they noticed it the moment you two returned. Your clothes soiled, face covered in mud and blood, hands all too shaky. Maybe it was the way you walked away from his side to great them. Or it was probably the way he glared at the wavering smile on your lips as you told them everything went fine. It was most definitely that.
Shoko was weary of it. At lunch, she’d sit between him and you. Her words were light as she teased and prodded, but never dared to ask the serious questions. She kept the air free of the awkwardness or the anger brewing. Shoko was kind like that. She was optimistic.
Satoru, however, wasn’t.
Although he seemed to abide by the silent rule not to ask you questions, he was practically grilling Suguru any given moment. He asked what happened. Why was Suguru so angry? Why were you acting so standoff-ish? Had something finally happened between you? Did Suguru get rejected and was he throwing himself a pity party? There were so many things that he threw out into the open like it was silly. As if Satoru derived some entertainment from the tension.
Do you ever notice they’re ready to get themselves killed for others? Suguru had thrown out to Satoru a week after the mission.
Satoru’s eyes lost the amusement and his smile dimmed. He pushed his glasses further up his nose. Of course I have. His voice was ridiculously serious and slow, extremely distant. As if recalling something he pushed to the back of his mind often. His attention had cut back to Suguru and shook his head. Man, it’s best to leave this alone. Trust me. Sensei will say something soon enough.
Suguru couldn’t help but worry that their first year teacher’s talk wouldn’t come soon enough.
Things just didn’t make sense to him. He just didn’t understand why you would be so willing to throw yourself into death like it was a blanket on a cold night. Sure, they’re meant to save people, but it didn’t mean death. Not everything had to be final. He feared that you just didn’t know it.
All of it came to a head when all four of you were placed on a mission three weeks after.
At this point, it was apparent that you both were avoiding each other. Different topics that neither of you wanted to address made headway into your dynamic. Distanced you both from one another like it was a bubble. A shield protecting you both from uncomfortable and frankly angry conversations.
But you did it again.
Sure, this time the curse was too much. Things weren’t looking too great for them. But the moment Suguru noticed you were missing from his and Satoru’s side, he felt panicked. He knew what was coming and knew what you’d say.
You caught the curse off guard as you jumped from the top banister, your large hammer at the ready. You shouted something along the lines that they should get out of there. But Suguru nor Satoru dared to run away. He watched, in horror, as you vanished into the curse’s mouth. As he was ready to summon his small arsenal of cursed spirits, the thing was cut from the stomach. Then you got its head.
There was silence as you stood amongst the carnage. Covered in the things purple goopy blood. Then you turned to them with that smile and Suguru lost it.
“What’s wrong with you?” He yelled, his voice echoing off the walls and converging on you. You looked shocked, eyebrows raised and faltering away from the pride to the confusion. He took in a shaky breath as he felt the built up anger from the past three weeks finally come up. “Do you have to throw yourself into danger like that?”
You frowned at him, then pathetically gestured at the curse. “It’s dead, isn’t it?”
Suguru pressed his hands against his face, letting out a deeply annoyed groan. “That’s not the point! The point is you threw yourself into its mouth! Like it was nothing!” He pushed himself forward to at least close the distance a little. Despite hearing Satoru’s soft protest, he needed to look you in the eye.
Your irritation was apparent as you furrowed your brow. “It doesn’t matter! Seriously, what’s your issue lately? You’ve been a complete asshole since that mission we went on. I thought you were just feeling bad for those kids, but you’ve acted completely different towards me!” Suguru could only clench his jaw at your obliviousness. There’s no way, right? There was absolutely no way you didn’t see what you were doing to them. To him. But when you said your next words, that thought was out the window. “Okay, so I threw myself into the middle of things, but so what?”
So what? So what. So fucking what?
Suguru felt something deep within him snap. As if there was a car underwater and the glass that was keeping the passengers safe suddenly cracked. His emotions, his clear mind, were the victims of the drowning. Buried deep under your ignorance.
“So what?” He snapped, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides as he regarded you with unsettled rage. “So what? Are you serious? Like, are you dumb or are you just playing with me because I seriously can’t tell right now!”
You flinched at his tone and he could hear the shift of rubble behind him. “Suguru, hey—“ Satoru tried to de-escalate the situation but he was ignored.
“Excuse me?” You uttered, glaring up at him.
“Whenever we go on missions, you’re the first one throwing yourself at the thing like it isn’t serious. As if there’s not a high possibility that you’ll die! Every single time.” Suguru had a finger against your chest now. He wasn’t even sure when he had reached out, but he could feel the curse’s blood on his fingertip. It was cold and thick. Uncomfortable. But you were covered in it like it was nothing. Everything was nothing to you. “So, I’m asking you: are you dumb or just acting like you are?”
Your eyes were narrowed as you regarded him. “I know it’s dangerous, but sometimes that’s the only option.” Was all you had to say in response.
“You shouldn’t be the first one to die every time!” Suguru was desperate for his point to get across. For you to understand that it wasn’t the matter that it was dangerous— it was the fact that you were so willing and ready to have everyone live without you.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” You frowned.
Just understand I care. That if you were to die right in front of my eyes, I’d lose it. I’ve only known you for ten months, but I can’t imagine a world where you’re dead. You’re one of my best friends— the first friend I ever made, please don’t make me live longer than you. Were all the selfish things that Suguru wanted to say. That he should’ve said.
Instead, he asked, “Do you just want to die?”
There was a very long silence that kept them all from moving.
The question was posed and he could see it in your eyes. Could hear it in the words you didn’t speak. You looked away from him, shame settled on your face. Suddenly, you looked small compared to your usual large and boisterous self. Have you always been this small? Or was this something he was just realizing now?
It settled in his mind, suddenly, that he was right. His assumptions, rash and brazen, were right.
It made him queasy, lightheaded, as he stared at you.
“Y/N…” He uttered with a pale face. He desperately wanted to reach out, to grasp your shoulder— make some type of contact. But his limbs wouldn’t move. He wasn’t even sure if he was breathing or blinking. His mind just repeated the one fact he knew over and over.
You wanted to die. You didn’t care if you died out there, alone, because it was all the same to you. You were waiting for death as it was waiting for you. Like an old friend. You wanted to die.
Suguru felt the overwhelming urge to cry as it all settled. “You want to die?” He couldn’t help the whisper as he stared at you in horror.
Your cheeks were a deep crimson red, tears pooling in your eyes as you took a step back from him. “It-It’s not like that.”
Suguru slowly shook his head. “Y-Yo—“ You shouldn’t feel like that. Is what he wanted to say. But what good would that do? You knew that. You probably prayed you didn’t every day.
“I just— you guys are so important to the school and-and to me! If you guys died, they’d be scrambling and a lot of people would probably suffer. But if I died, then who would even care—?”
“I would!” Suguru couldn’t help the tears that collected in his eyes. Here he was, almost 16, crying in front of you. But he needed you to know he cared. That life wouldn’t be the same without you gracing it. He reached forward, grabbing your hands in a vice like grip. “I would care! If you died I would be miserable and I would miss you like crazy. Don’t say no one would care because, if it doesn’t matter that I care, then everyone would. You’re important to everyone. You matter.”
Your eyes were on him now, wide and unsteady as you regarded him with confusion and disbelief. “Suguru—“
“We would all care. Satoru would be so annoying without your stupid quips. Shoko would be miserable if there wasn’t anyone to get her cigarettes when she forgets. And I…I would lose it if you were dead. I would. I would lose my mind, I’d do something crazy like… like leave everything behind.” It felt wrong to say. To put such weight on you, but he needed to know the role you played. How important you are. He clenched his jaw in determination, eye contact unwavering as he squeezed your hands. “I’ll prove it to you. I swear on it. I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you.”
“Better than anything I could say.” He heard Satoru utter behind them, then the tell tale yelp that came after Shoko slapped him upside the head.
You didn’t let that distract you as you fell forward into his arms. Clutching at his uniform as you let out a small cry. He held you up and listened as you dumped years worth of pain into his chest. Suguru couldn’t ever recall seeing you like this before. He never really wanted to see it again. You didn’t say anything in response to his rather embarrassing ramble to you. No, not to that.
Instead, all you said in return was, “thank you.”
Tumblr media
II. 2006
Suguru was in love with you and Satoru.
He realized it the afternoon in Okinawa, all of you walking through the aquarium as Riko pointed out various fish that she knew too much information about. Of course, he wasn’t listening. He was much too focused on you and Satoru. The both of you had snuck away to a gift shop— proclaiming that you needed mementoes and souvenirs for your friends back home. You adorned an octopus hat while Satoru had various fish stickers pressed to his cheeks. You both more resembled children on a field trip than highly esteemed sorcerers.
Suguru loved it. He loved you both.
It was a sudden and rather scary realization.
It came over him as you placed another sticker on Satoru's face. The both of you releasing absurd laughs that had no business sounding so lovely. He could feel the small smile blossom on his own lips as Satoru argued that he'd have the "gooey stuff" all of his face later, which made you promise to help him clean it off with a rag. Then you placed a delicate kiss against his cheek. It was so nonchalant, something they should all be used to, but it was always so jarring. Satoru stared at you with wide eyes behind his glasses, then he grinned. Wide and devious.
Suguru's heart soared.
He wanted nothing more than to reach out, to grab both of you and kiss you like there was no tomorrow. To promise his heart and his life to you both. It would be easy. It would be mere second nature to him. Suguru may just be realizing how deeply he loved you and Satoru, but he was almost sure that he'd felt this way since month five of your first year.
Surely, it shouldn't be a surprise. You three had been getting bold lately. Shoko was even commenting on it. The late nights in your room, the both of them curled up at your side. The domesticity of one of you returning to your dorm and being greeted by the other two. You all had a routine. A promise to come back through the door and have another fight of arguing over what's for dinner. Or something obscure that he wouldn't put up with with anyone else.
He just wanted to tell you and Satoru that he finally feels normal in the world. With you both by his side. That when he has your skin pressed against his, he feels like he could take on the world. That Satoru makes him feel childish and free like he couldn't be when he was a kid. That his kisses were sweet and soft. He just wanted to tell you that he loved you.
But Suguru saw your eyes stray away from Satoru's and the smile faded away. "We have to give her a choice." You said suddenly.
Both Satoru and Suguru moved their attention to Riko. The girl was standing in front of a expansive tank, watching in amazement as the fish zoomed by. The girl unaware of their watchful eyes as she turned to Kuroi and asked her to enjoy the fish too.
Suguru and Satoru had acknowledged that you were probably the last person who should be on this mission almost immediately. It wasn't that you weren't well fit for it, or that you would be too detached, or not want to get involved— it was that you had warmed up to Riko immediately. The girl had become your shadow. She asked about your technique and how "two idiots" like them were able to be in your presence. She amused you and you amused her. Then she asked you what you thought about her merger and you told her you thought it was something you shouldn't get involved in.
But Suguru and Satoru saw it in your eyes. They knew what you thought the moment Yaga had said the word "erase".
You wanted to save her.
"I knew you'd say that." Satoru snorted, leaning back against the tank they stood before. His eyes rolled upwards to look at the dolphin swim pass across from them. "You're always meddling."
You glared at him. "I don't meddle!"
"You do." Satoru said fondly. "What did I say, Suguru? They'd meet the girl and meddle, right?"
You snapped your eyes to Suguru who shyly stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "You did say that." I did not. Suguru used kinder words— like you cared about Riko and you'd probably not want to see her throw away her barely lived life for Tengen-sama.
You pouted, picking at the railing next to Satoru. "Am I that predictable?"
"Only because we know you so well." Satoru teased with a small smile. Then his eyes cut back to Riko who was gradually making her way further down the area. As much as Satoru would deny it, Suguru could tell that he'd come to grow fond of the girl as well. "What do you propose we do, exactly?"
Now Suguru was looking back to you. He could see the shock in your eyes as they snapped up to Satoru— as if you couldn't believe he was playing into whatever ideas you were tossing around. There was a spark of hope in your eyes and Suguru had to look away to prevent the smile that wanted to spread across his face. Instead, he'd let his heart do that weird skip it usually did whenever you and Satoru were particularly adorable.
"All I want is for her to have a choice," Your voice was compassionate as you started. The look in your eyes distant as you turned your attention towards the small tank in front of you three. The portioned tank that had different beta fishes separated. Together they're deadly. Apart, they find peace. Riko had explained. "The way she's talked about everything... the merger with Tengen-sama— that's what she was born for. She's proud of it. But given the choice, she wanted to spend her last day with her friends. She wanted to go to school and hang out with them because she knew she'd never see them again. Instead of really wanting to do this, she's just doing it because she feels like she has to. Where's the freedom in that?"
Suguru smiled softly at you. "So we give her a choice." He agreed with a small nod, finding satisfaction with the brightness in your eyes.
"We'll have to fight Tengen, you know that?" Satoru kept his eyes steady on Riko as he questioned the two of you. Both of you blink, obviously not having considered that detail. "They'll put up a fight— probably other sorcerers too. Freeing Riko might mean we leave Jujutsu High."
Suguru let his mind wander. Would he really mind if the three of you left? Not really. If the three of you have to fight Tengen-sama, then he'd gladly fight them by your side. If you both wanted, he'd destroy the world. Then gladly live his final moments with you both at his side. That was a fact that he knew to be true in his soul.
"I'll gladly do so." You answered without hesitation. Of course you would, you self sacrificial fool. A bitter part of Suguru said. There was no question that you'd put your life on the line for Riko. "If her choice is to live life, then I'll fight Tengen."
"And you'll win?" Satoru asked.
You raised an eyebrow. "We're the strongest, aren't we? Us three?"
Something about your words made Suguru 100% sure that he wouldn't allow you both to walk alone in the world. Together, there wasn't anything you three couldn't take on.
Satoru finally turned from Riko to stare at you with a self assured smirk.
Oh, Suguru thought with a stutter in his heart. He'd already made up his mind before you did.
"Well, well! I thought you were above all that we're the strongest crap!" Satoru teased, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you rolled your eyes. "Don't be so entitled, Satoru. You're making Haibara and Nanami feel less than, Satoru. You sound ignorant, Satoru. Look who's high and mighty now!"
"Oh, stop!" You pushed his arm away, but your smile was fond. You turned back to the beta fish. "Sure, it's a little entitled, but right now, I'm being nice."
"Thank you, thank you, my beloved royalty." Satoru dramatically bowed before you. You uttered something about him being dramatic, which went ignored. The white haired sorcerer reached over and slapped Suguru's arm, peeking at him fondly from behind his glasses. "Suguru, bow for your deity!"
Suguru was about to decline, until you spoke up. "You're ridiculous, you know that? Don't do that." Suddenly, he felt inclined to follow suit.
Both of them were now bowed behind you, uttering their dramatic praises as you blushed, attempting to ignore them as people walked pass and stared. Suguru peeked up at you as you watched the beta fish swim around. In that moment, he prayed that nothing changed.
Tumblr media
Things weren't right.
Things weren't right but you were so calm.
Silently, Suguru could only shoot a thankful glance in your direction as the elevator creaked under the strain of four people. He could tell you were worried but your expression was determined to stay pieced together. Satoru was above ground, fighting against that man— Suguru couldn't think about it. It was too much in the mess of things.
The elevator came to a screeching halt and there was no hesitation on your part to push the doors open. You seemed quicker, your movements a little stilted as you exited the elevator and, instead of looking at the three behind you, you kept your gaze on the various entrances. He could tell you were irritated. He could tell you were worried. Or nervous.
No, you were scared.
His attention turned towards Riko and Kuroi who were exchanging a heartfelt, tearful goodbye. They clutched onto each other— Kuroi told her to be brave and Riko promised she would. Then they separated and Suguru promised that he'd come back once everything was done to escort Kuroi to safety.
The trek to the Star Corridor was long and quite.
There wasn't much Suguru could say to comfort you because there wasn't much he could reassure himself with. His worries for Satoru were overbearing in his mind and he couldn't try and fool himself into trying to bear the weight of your anxiety as well. Both of you knew this, so you didn't dare try to comfort one another.
There's nothing wrong. Everything's going to be okay. We're the strongest. Satoru will join us once this is over. Were the things Suguru soothed himself with.
"Is this...?" Riko uttered as they finally broke through to the outskirts of where Tengen homes themself.
"Yes," Suguru confirmed as he came to a stop beside the younger girl. "We're just outside of where Master Tengen resides. This is the country's base for primary barriers. The main hall of the tombs of the Star Corridor."
"Basically, it's their home." You said flatly, coming to Riko's other side, your eyes moving over the vast area. It was quiet, dark, and looked isolated. Nothing that brought any welcomeness for the eternity to come.
Suguru tried not to let his gaze linger on the woeful look painting your face now. He cleared his throat and pointed. "Go down the stairs and pass the gate. Then head toward the base of that huge tree. It's protected by a different barrier than the one around Jujutsu High. Only those invited may enter. You'll be protected by Master Tengen until the merger."
Riko's expression turned sorrowful as she followed the path Suguru paved with her eyes. This was the end. Her fun and the little life she lived was at its finish. She clenched her hands at her sides and made a move to continue forward, without them.
"Or we can turn back and go home to Kuroi."
Riko's eyes snapped to you. Your eyes were compassionate and a small smile graced your features that was more reassuring than any words that could be spoken. She looked a little pale, but the glow of hope suddenly appeared.
"What?" The girl uttered.
You turned to her fully, keep your expression soft. "When our taecher assigned us this mission, he used the word 'erase'. It's like, deep down, he knew something was wrong with this and, for a muscle guy, he doesn't usually beat around the bush." You looked like you wanted to chuckle at your own jab at Yaga, but didn't have the energy. Instead, you sighed. "I talked to Suguru and Satoru and we all came to the decision that if the kid who is the Star Plasma Vessel should refuse the merger then we call it off."
Riko's eyes widened even further and tears were on the cusp of falling as she stared at the both of you.
"We're the strongest," Suguru offered gently, offering a closed eyed smile to the girl. "No matter what you choose, we promise to protect your future."
Riko's lips quivered as her eyes bounced between you two and the vast nothingness of Tengen's home. She took in a shaky breath. "Ever since I was born, I've been told I'm special and different. Being special was normal for me. I've survived till now by staying away from danger... My parents died in a car crash. I don't remember it. I'm not say or lonely anymore." She started to fiddle with her hands as her words grew more unsteady. You moved to press against her side, hands rested against her shoulders. "That's why... with the merger, I thought I'd be okay... leaving everyone. No matter how painful it became, I believed that, some day, the sadness and loneliness would disappear."
"You just need the right person." You uttered to her, her eyes snapping up at you as tears silently streamed down her face. "You need that one person to prove that there's beautiful things out there— that there's kindness and love. I know. I understand, Riko."
The girl bursts into tears, a trail of snot ran from her nose as she shook with her cries. "I want to stay with everyone a bit longer!" Her voice seemed to echo around the two of you. "I want to go to more places and see more things with everyone! More!"
Both you and Suguru smiled softly. His hand reached out while you squeezed her shoulders. "Riko, let's go home." He beckoned her forward.
"Yeah!"
Suguru registered the shot last second, but it was too late for him to truly do anything.
He's never quite seen anything like it.
You were smiling, you looked free from your worries for one second.
Then you were falling. Your face slack and eyes blank. You fell against the ground with a deafening thud. Blood pooled around your head, chunks of your brain scattered across the ground. Your eyes.
They're so blank.
Suguru barely registered Riko's scream. His eyes couldn't leave you even as the girl screamed and screamed, hands clutching at her head as she stared at your body beside her.
You were just speaking a moment ago. You were smiling. How could this happen?
Your eyes are so blank.
"Y-Y/N...." Suguru uttered, eyes wide and face pale.
He felt sick. He didn't feel right. This wasn't right. Why were you on the ground? Why were you bleeding? Why can't he move? Why can't he breathe? Are you going to get up? Please get up.
Riko continued to scream. She just wouldn't stop. Her once hopeful eyes were now reduced to horror and terror as she smeared the blood covering the side of her face. None of it hers.
It's yours.
Your eyes are blank.
What are you doing? Get up. Get up. Smile. Just breathe. Get up. Please, I'll do anything. I'll listen to you ramble about those books you love so much. I'll buy you those disgusting snacks you crave. I'll do anything for you.
Please don't die.
Your eyes are blank.
"Oh," groaned a voice that rattled Suguru's soul. "I missed."
Suguru slowly turned his head to stare at the man. The one that had stabbed Satoru through the chest and had talked to him like an old friend. The one that was now standing, clutching a gun in his hand, pouting as if he was amused by his miscalculation.
As if your death was something he hadn't accounted for.
"How..." Suguru's voice doesn't feel like his own. It feels like he's out of body. As if something else is controlling him. He felt something warm on his cheek, but he couldn't reach for it. His limbs felt heavy, his hands cold. What was happening? Why did everything feel so muddled? "How'd you get here?"
Still, Riko screamed.
Still, your eyes were blank.
The man frowned. "How...?" Suddenly, he chuckled and pressed the side of the gun to his temple. "I see. I killed Gojo Satoru."
Suguru was swarmed with an unfamiliar feeling of rage. You and Satoru had once praised him for his ability to remain calm and level headed when things seemed to crumbled around all of you. He was the voice of reason— your moral compass. The map that lightened your way.
Suddenly, he felt like he was reduced to nothing but rage and this empty feeling in his chest.
Your eyes are blank.
Gojo Satoru is dead.
"I see..." Suguru growled, his eyes unmoved from the man across from him. "Then die!"
Tumblr media
III. 2007
Suguru didn't feel right.
Although, he hadn't felt right for 11 months. 47 weeks, and five days. 8,016 hours. 480,960 minutes. 28,857,600 seconds.
He hadn't been right since the moment you dropped dead.
Your eyes were blank.
He wasn't enough to fight against Fushiguro Toji. The man had ruthlessly downed him then killed Riko. It was like it was nothing. He came, he killed, then he left.
Suguru had laid amongst the rubble of Toji's doing and stared into your blank eyes. He still wasn't sure how long it was. He couldn't move and he could barely breathe as the blood from his chest trickled to the stone and concrete under him. Your eyes stared lifelessly into his own. Endlessly. A never-ending staring contest that he pleaded to end.
The entire time he laid on the floor of Tengen's barrier. His mind only repeated one thing.
Please get up. Please be alive. Please get up. Please get up.
Your brains had scattered across the floor and your eyes were unmoving but he spent so much time just pleading with you to snap out of it. He thought he was enough. He apologized for not being enough.
Please get up. I promised to prove it to you.
There was a point he passed out. He could remember thinking, thankfully, that he was going to die. And he swore he heard your gurgled call for him.
Then, he woke up.
Shoko had looked distraught. He could still remember the way she eyed him wearily through red rimmed eyes. Cautious as she told him that you were dead. As she told him Satoru was gone.
Gone. But not dead.
Suguru had, very briefly, rejoiced in Satoru's survival.
Shoko said she cleaned your blood off his cheek.
Suguru hated her for a while after that.
He didn't stay at the infirmary for long. Despite Shoko telling him that Yaga wanted to see him and that he shouldn't move around yet, he dragged himself away. He dragged himself to the cult. He dragged himself along the side walk with his mind flashing with images of your blank eyes.
Was that all death was? Nothingness? Did it comfort you? Did it welcome you? Was it everything you imagined?
His mind wouldn't rest.
He could remember as he entered the building. As he heard the resounding and endless applause. He mindlessly entered and was meant with a never-ending crowd, parting as they just clapped, and clapped, and clapped. It rumbled through his ears, bouncing around his brain.
Your eyes were blank.
When the crowd parted, he remembered the clench of his heart as Satoru, bloodied and blank, appeared. He carried Riko's body in his arms. Lifelessly moving forward. His eyes stared right through Suguru.
"You're late," Satoru had teased blankly. His voice distant and flat. It missed its usual punch. "No.... I guess your're early."
Suguru remembered the confusion that washed over him as he stared at the one he loved. "Satoru... is that you...?"
What happened to you?
"It looks like you saw Shoko." Satoru had sounded like he wasn't entirely aware of his surroundings. Or he didn't care. "Is Y/N there right now?"
Suguru didn't have the heart then. He could remember silently apologizing to you, but he hadn't thought Satoru could handle the news of your death amongst this room.
"Shoko fixed me up fine." His eyes had moved to Riko's limp hand and he felt sick. Her screams were still in his mind. He almost threw up. "I'm sorry."
"I'm the one who messed up. Don't worry about it." Satoru had easily deflected.
Suguru couldn't handle the clapping. They just didn't stop. They clapped, and clapped, and clapped.
Your eyes were blank.
"Suguru," Satoru's voice had stopped him in his tracks. His voice was so detached and so odd. Suguru couldn't handle much change then. He couldn't handle hearing Satoru so different. Not then. "Do you want to kill them all?"
Suguru could remember the shock that shook his body. Could remember the bitterness that immediately followed. The realization that he would love nothing more than to unleash the worst on these people and sum their deaths up as their lives— useless.
"Suguru," He had sworn he heard your voice, distorted and all too sweet. His back stiffened and his eyes widened. "Do you hate them, Suguru?"
He did. He hated them. He wanted them all to burn. He wanted them to suffer. Suguru would've loved nothing more than to have heard all of them plead for their lives. To have the same terror that Riko had when she realized her life was coming to an end. To have that same blank look in their eyes as you had.
Your eyes were blank.
"It's pointless." Suguru had shot down emotionless. He still wasn't sure if he was answering that tiny voice in his head or Satoru, maybe it was both. Who really cared?
"Pointless, huh?" Satoru walked past Suguru and started to make his way outside. "Does there need to be a reason?"
"Of course, it's important." Suguru had easily answered. "Especially as Jujutsu Sorcerers."
11 months. 47 weeks, and five days. 8,016 hours. 480,960 minutes. 28,857,600 seconds later, he believed that was all bullshit.
It surprised him how much and how little could change in a year.
The way everyone seemingly returned to normal and he was left in the past.
Suguru felt like his life was now segregated into two sections: Before the Star Plasma Vessel assignment and after the Star Plasma Vessel assignment. Before and after you.
He realized, quickly and bitterly, that the after you was worse than the before.
Before he knew of your existence, he was happy to be alone. He embraced the fact that kids at school thought him odd, unapproachable. That they would whisper about his habits behind his back. He was happy to know that no one wanted to be around him. It meant they didn't see what he saw. He didn't know anything else.
But the after you was considerably worse.
You had given him that breath of fresh air. That love that he had unknowingly reached out for his entire life. The way you and Satoru had touched him, he didn't even know his heart ached for that type of love. He didn't know he was depraved until you showed him.
He hated it. For a moment, he hated you.
In the first weeks after your death, he felt angry. He was bitter. Even as Satoru rubbed his back in bed. Even as he told Suguru it wasn't his fault. Even as everyone told him that you would hate to see him like that. He felt a hatred. A regret.
For months, he hated you.
He'd ignore topics centered around you. He ignored the day that Shoko and Satoru cleaned out your dorm for a new first year. He was stagnant and blank at the funeral your family held. When everyone walked up to recall memories about you, he didn't. He just listened and he thought that none of them truly captured you. They said you were kind, that you were funny, that you went our of your way to help whoever needed it.
If it was Suguru up there, he would've said you were selfish. That you always put your life on the line when it wasn't needed. That you were arrogant. That you could really make him worry.
But he loved you.
That's what he hated most. Isn't that the worst?
He hated that he loved the way he missed your hugs, your reassurances. He hated that he missed worrying about you. That he wouldn't ever see you again. That he wouldn't join you on a mission and be forced to listen to Yaga or fellow students worry about your sanity. He missed that sometimes you would play into Satoru's words, like saying the three of you were strongest together.
"Hey," Satoru called from across the training yard. Suguru barely looked up. "Have you lost some weight? Are you okay?"
Satoru became "The Strongest". His abilities were starting to blossom and it allowed him to work by himself. The higher-ups sent them alone. And Suguru hadn't felt more confined in his life.
"I'm just a little tired from the summer heat." Suguru easily explained it away, his hands buried deep within his pockets. "It's not a problem."
"Maybe you had too much somen noodles?" Satoru asked, niavely.
"No," Suguru wanted to snap at him. "It's the fact I can't eat without feeling sick. I can't taste anything except the fucking vomit of the curses. I hate it. I hate it. I'm always sick. I'm so hungry. But I can't eat."
Instead, he sighed. "Maybe."
The curse population was springing up like maggots. Everywhere and all consuming. The summer had been busy and Suguru truly was tired. In his heart, he started to blame the mess of last year for the increase of curses. It was easier to blame that than nothing. It was better to put a face to his suffering rather than blame himself.
The repetitiveness of his life was becoming crushing.
An endless cycle of exorcism and consumption.
Exorcise. Consume.
You had once asked him what curses tasted like. Under a beautiful tree and a beautiful night sky. You stared at him from your place on the ground. "Suguru, what does it taste like?"
"It's a taste nobody knows." He had explained. "Like ingesting a rag used to wipe up vomit."
Exorcise. Consume.
"Oh," You had uttered, a heavy frown on your lips as you pondered on it. "I'm sorry."
Exorcise. Consume.
He didn't need your pity then. But it had been nice. It felt nice for someone to pretend they understand the disgust, the bitter tang. He pretended that it helped.
"Thanks."
Then, you asked, "Would it help if you had mints?"
No. "Yes."
That first Christmas you all spent together, you got him mints. And, despite it doing nothing, he still popped one in his mouth every time. False hope that something could push down the disgust he had for his technique, for what he was considered special for. What lengths he went to save people.
For what?
Every since that day, the day you and Riko died, it's been running through Suguru's head. That everything he saw, Toji, your blood, your brains, the never-ending applause of the cult members— it was a hideous evil known to everyone. What he saw wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Still, knowing that, he protects them as a Jujutsu sorcerer.
"We can't lose our way." You had reassured one day when the curse you and him were fighting was particularly ruthless. It had killed so many people that the both of you hadn't been the same for weeks. "Don't lose your way. We just have to follow through with our duty as sorcerers."
The thunderous applause took over that of his heart.
"Monkeys." Suguru uttered in the shower. The first time he whispered it. His eyes unmoving from the wall as the water trickled down, down, and down.
Your eyes were blank.
"Do you hate them, Suguru?"
His hand clenched above him. "Fucking monkeys."
He snapped the water off and robotically dried himself off.
Suguru felt like he was merely living through the motions. That he was being guided other peoples words and the wind itself. He was merely a leaf being blown away. There wasn't anything he could do to stop it. Nothing he could do to ground himself and force himself to take the wheel. To be in control. He could only watch on.
He found himself hunched over on the bench near the vending machines. He barely acknowledged the rain that poured outside. It was one of those days. Those days where the weather matched his mood and made it considerably worse. Maybe he could get away with hiding inside his dorm. Being curled on the bed and not appearing until the rain was well gone— when Satoru couldn't ask him if he's ate.
He closed his eyes in defeat. How could loneliness possibly feel worse now than it did then? He'd been alone for years before. Why was it worse now?
"Hi! Mister Geto!"
Suguru's eyes snapped open and dragged upwards. "Haibara..."
You liked Haibara. You said so on his first day. When he enthusiastically introduced himself to everyone— gave his blood type and his family history. You had laughed for twenty minuets. You said that Haibara was like a breath of fresh air. He had no idea what he was getting into and he was happy. Suguru said you were looking into it too much. You didn't agree. Then you invited both him and Nanami to join you all on a trip to Shinjuku.
You liked Haibara. He was sweet.
You liked Haibara. So did Suguru.
"Hope all is well!" Haibara continued, seemingly ignorant to the war raging on in Suguru's mind.
You liked Haibara. You trained him. He was sweet.
So did Suguru. "What can I get you to drink?" Suguru asked, pulling some change from his pockets.
"I couldn't possibly—" Haibara's eyes glanced at the vending machine then his eyes brightened. "I'll take a coke!"
Suguru couldn't help the little laugh that broke through his lips. Amusement in his eyes for the first time in a while as he gently dropped the change into the junior's cupped palm. Haibara pratically skipped over to the vending machine, dropping the coins in, and retrieved his coke.
Fully expecting him to carry on with a thanks, Suguru was a little surprised that he sat down beside him and smiled big.
"My mission tomorrow is pretty far away." The boy started, wiggling with excitement.
Suguru smiled softly. "That so? I'll be expecting a souvenir then."
"You got it! Something sweet or savory?"
"Satoru will probably have some too, so maybe something sweet."
This was the normal. It felt refreshing for everything to be so normal. A silent agreement amongst the second and third years to get everyone who asked a souvenir from their respective mission areas. It made for interesting foods or items. Silly things that he could place on his shelf or for him to take a bite and Satoru to steal the rest. Usually complaining about how no one ever gets him anything. Just like Okinawa when you picked that hat—
Your eyes were empty.
Suguru's smile faded away.
"Haibara..." He spoke, not entirely aware if his junior was speaking before he was. But Haibara's eyes moved to him with curiosity. He bowed his head once again. "Are you okay with being a Jujutsu sorcerer? Doesn't it bother you?"
Immediately, the junior took the question seriously. His chin rested between his finger and thumb, eyes narrowed in thought. "Hm... good question..." He uttered, a vague pout on his lips. "I'm not really the type to think too hard about things..."
"I don't think we should underestimate Haibara or Nanami." You had defended the two new boys against Satoru's beratement one day. Your eyes cut to where they were practicing against Yaga's cursed dolls. "We all started somewhere. I'm sure they'll surprise us one day."
"Giving my all toward something I know I can help with is a great feeling!" Haibara finally answered, snapping his fingers and looking at Suguru head on.
Suguru couldn't help the way his eyes widened. For whatever reason, his answered shocked him. It was a pure answer. Further proof that Suguru was different from everyone else. Proved that he was slowly losing a part of himself. Haibara hadn't been graced with the same tragedy he had. He didn't know the cruelty of people and was still hopeful.
"I see..." Suguru uttered, looking away once again.
"You're right." Spoke another voice that neither of them know. Both of the boys looked over to the woman that stood a few feet from them. She was tall, long blonde hair and she wore a smile on her face. "Are you Geto? What kind of girls are you into?"
Your eyes were blank.
He only stared in return.
"I like girls with healthy appetites!" Haibara answered happily.
Suguru frowned. "Haibara."
"It's fine!" He turned to Surguru with a bright light in his eyes. "She's not a bad person. I'm a pretty good judge of character!"
Suguru felt something in his chest shift.
"Do you hate them, Suguru?"
"You say that while sitting next to me?" He uttered, sparing the junior a sidelong glance.
"Of course!" Haibara didn't hesitate.
The woman laughed, resting a hand on her hip. "He was being sarcastic, kid!"
No, I'm not. Suguru almost felt compelled to say. But he didn't have the energy. There wasn't any point in arguing with this stranger either. She didn't know him and he didn't know her. Something he would happily continue to stay true.
Embarrassed, Haibara excused himself with the woman quickly taking his spot. In an instant, Suguru drew back and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Is he your junior? Such an honest and cute kid."
Suguru couldn't help the distasteful glare he sent from the side. "As a jujutsu, he shouldn't be so trusting." He said bitterly.
The woman looked a little discouraged by his little jab, but continued on. "And you, Geto? Are you going to answer my question?"
"Answer mine first— who are you?"
The woman raised her chin, a small smirk on her lips. "Special grade sorcerer Yuki Tsukumo. Ring a bell?"
"You're the...?"
Yes. Yes, it did. Suguru thought bitterly.
He could distinctly recall you rambling on about Tsukumo. On how you wished you could be like her. Someone highly recognized and didn't care what the higher-ups said— just lived her life. To Suguru, it sounded like Tsukumo was kind of a failure. But to you, it was as if she was a symbol of something amazing. Proof that something that was suddenly attainable to you.
Suguru had been convinced you just had a crush on her.
"Nice! The what?"
Suguru clenched his jaw at her interruption of his thoughts. "The no-good special grade who doesn't take on any missions and just bums around overseas." He informed her flatly.
The woman's smile slipped away and she pouted heavily. "I hate Jujutsu High!" She fell back, her elbows rested on the back of the bench. She sulking. "Just kidding. But I'm not lying when I say we don't see eye-to-eye. What they do here is treat symptoms. What I want is to get at the root cause."
Suguru couldn't help perking up with interest. "The root cause?" He asked slowly.
"I don't want to exorcise curses after they appear. I want a world where curses don't even exist."
He stared at her in shock. A world without curses? He felt like he could almost rejoice. His heart gave a little skip and he almost felt like things were normal.
"How about a little lesson? Tell me, what are curses anyway?"
He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "Curses are created when cursed energy leaks from humans. It then gathers like sediment and takes form." He answered easily. It was something taught in their first year, something everyone knows.
"Excellent," Tsukumo encouraged, nodding. "If that's the case, there are two ways to create a world where curses no longer exist: one, eradicate cursed energy from all humanity. Two, teach humans how to control their cursed energy. The first one's not a bad idea. There was a model case for it after all."
"A model case?"
"Someone you're familiar with: Zen'in Toji."
Almost instantly, Suguru felt an anger rush over him. Toji. That was someone else that he tried to avoid thinking about. Usually, it only led to thoughts darker than when he thought about you. He thought about the various things he would've done to Fushiguro if given the chance. The slow and torturous death he would've given to him if he had the chance. He doubted it would eat away the hatred in his heart, but Suguru would take anything to have him suffer as you did. As he did.
"There have been several cases where heavenly restriction has reduced a person's cursed energy to normal levels. But to eradicate one's cursed energy completely... I've searched all over the world, and he's the only one who's ever done it. But that's not the only thing that's interesting about him. Despite not having cursed energy, Zen'in Toji was able to sense curses using his five sense. By eliminating all cursed energy, his body became sharpened to the point where he developed a resistance to curses."
A part of Suguru really wanted to tell Tsukumo that he didn't care. That monster died and he was glad to hear it. Even if he was the only way to get rid of curses, he was overjoyed that the man was dead now.
"Don't feel bad about losing him." Suguru scoffed, face blank. "I wanted to research him but he blew me off. It's too bad he died."
You smiled at Riko. You held her shoulders. You were going to take her home.
Your eyes were blank.
I killed Gojo Satoru.
"Cases of heavenly restriction are few and far between. So my focus is on two." Tsukumo seemed completely unaware of Suguru's mind raging on while she spoke. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Did you know, jujutsu sorcerers don't give birth to curses?"
That snapped Suguru out of his thoughts. He slowly dragged his eyes to stare at the side of the woman's head as she carried on.
"Of course, that's excluding cases where sorcerers become curses after death—" Do you hate them, Suguru? "—The amount of cursed energy that leaks from sorcerers, compared to from non-sorcerers, is extremely low. There is a difference in how much we consume and use cursed energy because of our profession. But the real reason lies in how it flows through us. For sorcerers, it flows heavily within us. If we're talking general terms— if every single human became a jujutsu sorcerer, no curse would ever be born again."
Suguru's world as he knew it, paused.
The thunderous applause returned. The cheers as Satoru carried Riko's body through the crowd.
The deafening thud of your body as you fell lifelessly to the ground. Riko's scream as your blood painted half of her face. The way his heart echoed against his head as he stared.
You eyes were blank.
Those people. Humans. Non-sorcerers. They created the world that killed you. They created a world where he was alone.
Do you hate them, Suguru?
"Then why not just kill every non-sorcerer?" He asked softly, not daring to lift his head or eyes from between his feet.
There was a silence between the two of them that made him tense up. He said something wrong. But why didn't it feel wrong? Why didn't the suggestion disgust him or make him sweat? Why did it feel like an idea that was meant to be said?
"Geto," Tsukumo finally spoke, voice slow and calculated. "That is an option."
What?
"In fact, that might be the easiest route!"
Suguru slowly lifted his eyes from the floor and stared at the woman next to him with wide eyes. Now, he felt it. He felt the sweat on his brow. It's an option. "What?" He uttered, tilting his head to try and meet her eye as she stared into the distance. "Um..."
"Weed out non-sorcerers and make them adapt to a jujutsu sorcerer based society. In other words, forced evolution. Kinda like how birds grew wings. Using dear and danger as a catalyst."
It's an option. Suguru couldn't shake his stare. He was holding his breath and just staring at her.
"But," There it is. "I aint' that crazy."
She looked amused, but she didn't know him. She didn't know his feelings and the fact that he hated—
"Do you hate non-sorcerers, Geto?" She asked it sincerely.
Do you hate them, Suguru?
His eyes went back the floor, ashamed. "I don't know." He started with a whisper. "I used to think jujutsu sorcerers existed to protect non-sorcerers. But recently, I've been doubting whether non-sorcerers are worth fighting for. The preciousness of the weak. The ugliness of the weak. I can no longer tell the difference. The part of me that looks down on non-sorcerers.... the part of me that tries to resist that feeling...."
The thunderous applause returned. The cheers as Satoru carried Riko's body through the crowd.
The deafening thud of your body as you fell lifelessly to the ground. Riko's scream as your blood painted half of her face. The way his heart echoed against his head as he stared.
You eyes were blank.
"If being a jujutsu sorcerer is like running a marathon, then the finish line is too unclear." Suguru placed a hand against his forehead, hairs tangled between his fingers. "I don't know what I really feel."
"It's understandable, you know?" Suguru glanced at her with a frown as she eyed him contemplatively. "You watched your friend die, right? It's never easy. Messes you up. I'm sure I don't have to tell you."
You don't.
"Death and mourning something can really conjuring some nasty things in your mind. Like killing non-sorcerers— you want to take that anger out on someone. The anger for your friend's life being taken away." She explained it like it was so easy, as if she knew his next steps when he did not. "But looking down on non-sorcerers... resisting that feeling... those are just possibilities you've thought of. Whatever your true feeling is, you still have to decide."
The conversation didn't lead to anywhere else and Suguru was feeling himself grow more tired the more he stayed away from his dorm. He was about to excuse himself when Tsukumo asked for him to follow her out. She didn't say much on the way out and Suguru was grateful for it.
The woman got on her bike and waved at him. "I'll see ya! I was hoping to say hi to Gojo as well. Bad timing, I guess." She slid her goggles on. "As fellow special grade sorcerers, let's all three of us get along, okay?"
Suguru gave her his best smile, which wasn't much. "I'll send you regards to Gojo."
Tsukumo smiled, starting up her bike. She was about to ride off when she looked back at him. "One last thing. Don't worry about what happened with the Star Plasma Vessel. Whether there was another vessel or another vessel was born— whatever happened, Tengen is stabilized."
He didn't think it possible, but his hatred grew. Tengen is stabilized.
The thunderous applause returned. The cheers as Satoru carried Riko's body through the crowd.
The deafening thud of your body as you fell lifelessly to the ground. Riko's scream as your blood painted half of her face. The way his heart echoed against his head as he stared.
You eyes were blank.
Tengen is stabilized.
Suguru bowed his head as she drove off. "I figured."
What the fuck had you died for, anyway?
Tumblr media
Haibara was dead and he'd seen the body. The entire time Suguru thought of you.
As Nanami attempted to hold back tears, as he explained that they were caught off guard by a special grade, Suguru saw you in Haibara's place.
Both of you victims of a system created to protect people who weren't grateful. Who didn't even know you exist. People who had spared both of you not a single glance despite being so caring, so selfless. Who were they to put this unbearable burden on everyone's shoulders then act like you were different?
Haibara was sweet. You liked him. So did Suguru.
Haibara was dead. So were you. Suguru felt hatred build in him.
As he stared at Haibara's bloodied face, he had thought one thing: who would suffer for this death?
Gojo completed the mission. Gojo exorcised the curse. Gojo. Gojo. Gojo. Gojo.
Gojo.
Why should Gojo be the one wrecking havoc? When it was Suguru that was filled with rage? When he was the one that wanted nothing more than to harm the ones that caused this all?
Do you hate them, Suguru?
"What is this?" Suguru asked slowly, staring at the sight before him.
Two girls seemingly coward away from him. Their faces bloodied and bruised. The cage that contained them offered no comfort. Just the cold hard ground and the darkness. They shook under his gaze and he couldn't find it in himself to look away. He couldn't turn around and question the people behind him. He did not know what he'd do if he looked them in the eyes as they explained themselves.
"What do you mean? These two are responsible for the incident, right?" Asked one man.
Suguru clenched his jaw. "No, they are not."
"These two possess strange powers and often attack the villagers."
This was of your own creation.
"I already dealt with the cause for the incident."
"My grandchild nearly died because of these two!" Protested the elderly woman as if she realized that Suguru wasn't going to believe these two were responsible.
The blonde child leaned forward. "That was because they—"
"Shut up you monsters!"
"Your parents were the same! I knew we should've killed you when you were born!"
As the two adults berated the children, Suguru came to a decision. His heart was no longer torn in two. As he stared at the girl's, his resolution was made.
He lifted his finger and a shadowed curse sprouted. "It-It'll be okay..." The girls stared at him with wide eyes, almost relieved. If he were a different man. If he in a different mindset then, he would've cried over the relief that washed over them. "Do...Don't worry... it'll be o-okay."
He ignored how familiar the voice was, how familiar the words were. He'd grown used to finding something that wasn't there in the curses he had collected. The fact that the ones he barely manifested were the ones that sounded like you the most.
Suguru turned around to the villagers and smiled. One that he hadn't managed to conjure up in some time.
"Let's step outside for a moment, shall we?"
The two followed him out and Suguru wasn't sure what words he said, what movement he made, but he could see the horror in their eyes. As he manifested his beloved curses, the one people like them had created, he felt an anger bubble up. Emotions that he had desperately pushed aside in an attempt to continue his life were now running their way to the forefront of his mind.
The grief of losing you. The anger of the complete disregard of you life by the society as a whole. The fact that there was nothing left of you now. Nothing—
"Suguru, do you hate them?"
His body stiffened. His wide eyes dragged from the horrified, begging people before him, to over his shoulder. The shadow that loomed over him now.
He'd read about this before. It was some obscure book he found while researching previous curse manipulators. It talked about various things that he used to prove to Yaga that he was learning something. One section had piqued his interest, but it was never information that he'd use in random day-to-day. Vengeful spirits. Usually, this only happened after sorcerers die without jujutsu being used against them. Their very soul and spirit is corrupted and transformed into something horrible. Something darker than who they truly were in life.
As Suguru stared at the spirit before him now, he knew what he had inadvertently done to you. The way your large body curled around him, wisps of what should be hair floating above you, your body clad in an open and flowing kimono. What caught his eyes the most, were your own eyes. Despite being almost invisible, he was relived. They were not blank. Instead, they looked like they burned with the rage he had held back for years.
It was as if you were the extension of his very soul.
"It should be noted that if you find yourself attached to a vengeful spirit: You must establish a clear master/servant bond. As the spirit is attached to your own soul, they musn't be allowed to overcome you. If exorcism is not an option, then create a clear set of rules. Summon them only when necessary. Vengeful spirits are not to be taken lightly."
"Suguru, do you hate them?" Your eyes did not leave his.
This time, he didn't hesitate nor lie. "Yes."
He heard them whimper in fear.
You moved unnaturally, but he didn't care. "Do you want them to die, Suguru?"
His eyes narrowed. "Yes."
Your hand rested on his shoulder and he didnt even care if your talon like nails dug into his flesh. He watched, awestruck, as you turned your feral gaze onto the cowering villagers. "Can I hurt them for you, Suguru?"
Despite your state, despite what it meant for him, he couldn't help but feel the warmth blossom through his chest. He basked in the feeling of your brushed against his shoulder.
"Yes."
An unnatural smile creeped over your face and your shot forward, now clutching your katana.
All Suguru could think was: you're back.
Tumblr media
"Suguru....what have you done?"
Geto adjusted his gojogesa with a emotionless mask over his face. The bags that had adorned his eyes for the past year were mostly gone. He was finally able to eat. His mind wasn't constantly ringing with that thunderous applause or the thud of your body. Instead, he was free. There was silence.
Except whenever you spoke.
"Where did you get that energy? Suguru, answer me!"
He had seen Gojo a week ago. He had said his goodbyes, vaguely masked as threat. Geto knew what they were now. Enemies by default. He knew it couldn't be long before the higher-ups found out about the village— known exactly what he'd become that night. He was a curse user.
God, was that a great feeling.
Geto was giddy that night. He couldn't help the giddiness he felt with his freedom. The happiness he felt as he held Nanako and Mimiko in his arms, trekking through the woods to the main street where he dragged them to his parent's house. That whole situation had been something in itself. Their anger, their confusion, the heartbreak for not understanding their son anymore.
Geto had simply taken what he needed for the twins, then left you to take care of his parents.
"You feel it, don't you, Gojo? You see them."
There was an assortment of things that Geto found himself doing after he defected. He suddenly found himself in the place of taking care of two twin girls that clung to his clothes and followed his every word like he was the Buddha guiding them towards enlightenment. There big eyes screamed the thank you's that he did not need or would accept. Still, he could tell that they were trying to prove that they were useful to him. Whatever that meant coming from a pair of 6 year olds.
The second thing he'd started was taking over the Star Plasma Religious Group. Although he heard they had disbanded a year prior, it appeared that they were just absorbed by another money hungry fool scamming them for every last cent they had. Not that he was about to go bad mouthing other people's methods for something he was about to do himself. It was surprisingly easy to take over a religious group when you had a vengeful spirit hanging off of you. The men, although easy to get on his side, he still killed. There was no point to their existence now. Not when he had his own plans outside from worshipping the likes of Tengen.
The last thing he was taking care of was you.
"....What did you do?"
"Nothing. I did nothing. They're was always with me."
Geto's adventure back into the books covering vengeful spirits was actually welcomed this time around. As a younger student, he hadn't really cared to think about what would happen to him if he happened to die in a terribly normal way. But now it was something he regarded with the utmost fascination. The different descriptions of vengeful spirits made him ponder exactly what you were.
Violent and seeking revenge. Sad and lost. Unaware they're dead and seeking guidance. Plague that spreads death, leeching off certain hosts. Clingy, they seek approval from the attached for their actions. These spirits had a connection with the host in their life and feel something unfinished in their death.
He could remember the look in Gojo's eyes as his eyes strained to look over Geto's shoulder. The fear and the realization that washed over him. The anger in his eyes as he seemed to grieve over not only Suguru, but you as well. The waver in his voice as he asked Geto what he had done. It almost made Geto feel bad.
Almost.
Gojo had his life laid out for himself. The higher-ups knew what they could do with him. He was practically bred and born for his role amongst everything. He'd live and die the jujutsu society. Something that always unsettled Suguru, but something Geto accepted. He came second. Last compared to jujutsu.
At least he had you. It was you and him first. Then Gojo. He could make this work again. He wouldn't let anything happen to you again.
Geto shifted his attention elsewhere as he flattened his robes.
God, he really did look the part now, didn't he? Except, maybe, the hair. But he wasn't doing anything about it.
"This place is still a religious group to the public, are you okay with that?" Asked one of the nameless faces that Geto would encounter in his life.
He over looked the stage before him with a flat expression. "As long as I can collect curses and money, that's all right." He reassured.
The man frowned, looking at Geto with some vague confusion. "Are you really going out there like that?"
He let a grin spread across his lips. "Why not? Bluffing and looking the part is important."
"Master Geto..."
He spared the twins a soft glance, a reassuring smile gracing his features. He reached down and ruffled their hair gently. "Be sure to watch closely." He whispered to them, watching with a warmth in his heart as they smiled and giggled at one another. "Have they gathered?"
"Directors, representatives. The chairman. And a lot more money waiting."
Geto grinned, taking the microphone from the man, and making his way out onto the stage.
The last time he'd been in the building they were giving a thunderous applause for Riko's death and, by extension, yours. He had been waiting a year to see them all again. To look them in the eyes and find a proper way to make them suffer. To make them feel the same fear or suffering that you and Riko had in your last moments.
"Can everyone hear me? Thank you for waiting, I'll keep this short." He announced as he came to a stop before them all. Nameless faces, judgmental side eyes, questionable whispers to one another. They did not remember Suguru. But he would make sure they remembered Geto. "As of this moment, this group is mine. We'll have a new name as well. You all will obey me."
Instantly, there was a scattered rise of opposition in the crowd.
Geto's grin faltered as he listened to the various questions of exactly who was he made their way to him. He could hear the anger and the confusion. His frustration heightened.
"Well, isn't that a shame." He dragged a hand over his face, eyes grazing the crowd before he grinned one more. He tried to look as inviting as he could, waving a hand at one man in particular. "Mister Sonoda! Could you please come up to the stage? Yes, that's right, you!"
As the older man stood from his seat and hobbled his way up, Geto narrowed his eyes. Despite his smile, his eyes couldn't hide the contempt and the hatred he had for the man before him. He could see that he noticed in the way he faltered on the steps. But pushed through and stood by Geto's eyes.
He made eye contact with Sonoda, then— "Y/N."
He found it easy to summon you. To watch you tear away at the man who had so brazenly ordered Riko's death. To listen to the garbled expressions of hatred you exclaimed as you tore his enemies limb-by-limb. It felt like it was some form a justice. To finally see the horror in their eyes, the blankness of it all. Bittersweet for him to watch.
However, he couldn't stand there and watch you in awe forever. He had people to take under his control.
Geto turned his attention back to the crowd. Satisfaction grew in his chest as he saw the horror and shock fall over their faces. Easily, Geto threw the microphone away.
"Now then, let's try this again." He scowled at the crowd, feeling you loom over his shoulder once again. He used his thumb to brush away some of the blood. "Obey me, monkeys."
Tumblr media
III. 2015
"Are you mad at me, Suguru?"
Things had been going smoothly for Geto in the past eight years.
The cult, because that's what he considered it, was running finely. Those who owed money, gave it to him, or else. Those who followed, followed with loyalty, or else. Those who served no purpose, were dealt with. He had created a normal amongst the congregation. A standard that he himself had wanted to watch them scramble to keep. A constant state of panic or devotion for them that fed into his, honestly, growing ego.
Things like his family kept him rather humble.
The girls had grown accustomed to their lives with Geto. They seemed to thrive and love under his care. All of them had grown to a routine that they cherished with one another. They even seemed accustomed to you. The fear and confusion of others wasn't found in their eyes or hearts. Geto never properly explained what happened after death if certain things didn't take place, but they understood anyone. They knew you were important to him— by extension making you important to them.
The other members of the family— Laure, Miguel, Manami, Toshihisa— had a vague understanding of exactly what a vengeful spirit entailed. Although, they weren't jumping at the opportunity to really talk about it. Laure had attempted once, but the conversation died out quickly due to the look on Geto's face. The man was quick to drop the topic once he saw the expression painting the leader's face. Allegedly, he looked ready to kill.
Earlier that day, though, Miguel was braver. And Geto was in a far clearer mood.
"How did it happen?" The man's deep voice asked gently from where he sat across from Geto. Once the confusion set in of his sudden question, he raised an eyebrow at the apparent shadow rested behind his chair. "How did they get cursed?"
Geto himself had thought about it for years. He wondered what point you had been damned blessed to be attached to his soul even after death. It took him a long time. In the mix of things, death and decay, the sharp turn of his ideals— he had barely any time to really think about what made you this spirit clinging onto his life.
Some books said that it could be the connection shared by the host and spirit before death. Others said that hosts had the ability to curse the spirit themselves. That their desperation and their inability to let go was the true reason that sorcerers would live on as something horrible. Something completely opposite as to who they were in life.
He had pushed the thoughts away before they could ever really come to fruition. The possibility that he had been the one to create you into this. The thought alone was enough to twist his stomach. So instead he ignored it. He lived in blissful ignorance.
"Just happens sometimes after death." Geto answered flatly, turning his attention back to his book. He knew there was curiosity amongst his family to know things about you. Afterall, you were considered a part of the family, but there was simply no room to have conversation with you. You either grew hostile or confused and sought Geto out for answers. "Sorcerers whenever they're killed by a non-curse way or something another.
"Hm," Miguel's hum had remained unconvinced as his eyes trailed back to you. As your fingers hovered over the corner of the seat, but you didn't peek out. "There was a couple in my village back home. They were considered the ideal relationship at the time— I was a kid and thought so too. They were kind people. I always enjoyed getting special treatment from the wife, she was like a mother. She was one of the only other people I ever met in my home country that could see curses. Everything was good. But then her husband went and died from sickness. There was something different from the moment she died. She went a little crazy and one day she went and got real angry. Then— boom, there's her husband. But he was different. He was like yours."
Geto hadn't really known what to make of that rather non-sensical story at the time. He had just stared at Miguel before nodding slowly in return. "That's tragic." He wasn't interested in the possibilities.
"Nanako told me it was hard on you when they died." Miguel carried on as if he hadn't very visibly paused for Geto to speak his heart out. "Said that you said it was the reason you're the way you are now."
There was moments where Geto felt frustration with the twins. Their willingness to be so open with the family. Their ability to talk about their emotions so easily. The fact that they couldn't keep a secret for their lives.
The conversation about you had come up when the house was particularly restless and they were morbidly curious. They asked what you were like alive. What he was like as a kid. What the both of you were like in high school. How did you die.
He had looked off distantly and recalled the details— although he left out the gorey, unlikeable parts. He left in the parts where he was sad, that he had a hard time. He explained it in a way that kids like them could understand and use later to make sure they didn't end up the same way. Isolated and full of hatred.
Then, he made the mistake of mentioning Gojo. Their questions fell on deaf ears as he wished them goodnight and tried to drown out the memories of his youth.
"Don't get on her case about it. She's was just curious what certain things meant." Miguel must've taken his silence as anger because he stared at Geto with pleasantly narrowed eyes. "Have you ever considered exactly what happened to them?"
The question wasn't hostile or had any nefarious undertones.
He might as well had threatened Geto though.
Your eyes were blank.
"Please get up."
Geto had quickly excused himself, claiming that he needed to head to bed. He didn't miss the disappointment in Miguel's eyes or the fact that he had tensed up as you drew closer. He didn't want to think about it. What had taken place before, during, and after your death. He didn't need the questions—
"Please get up."
Tonight he couldn't escape it.
Eight years worth of questions and mystery filled his mind. The things he didn't dare address or ponder upon.
Sitting against his headboard, staring blankly into the darkness, he knew exactly how things ended up like this.
Him, a pathetic boy, staring into your lifeless eyes— he had begged for you to be alive. He had laid there with tears in his eyes, a pain in his chest, and a wavering plead breaking from his lips. Before he had fallen unconscious, he reached out his hand.
He reached out his hand.
Your eyes were blank.
Geto knew that he had cursed you. That his pleads and desperately attempt at touching you one last time had somehow damned you. He didn't need to know how it worked. He just knew that it was his fault.
The disgust in Gojo's eyes, the heartbreak, the shock. It was all things Geto deserved. For he had robbed you of the eternal rest you deserved.
The tears collected in his eyes and, for the first time in eight years, he felt a heavy bought of regret press against his chest.
He's known you longer dead than you were alive. Two years of his life had ruled onto the next eight. He had let his grief blind him. He was desperate to not let you go. To keep up some illusion in his head that he would be able to keep you there. To not let you fade away.
Selfish. He'd never been selfish before your death.
"Suguru?"
Your voice, distorted and garbled, was not something that he wanted to hear in that moment. Whatever reason, you were beside the bed now, head rested against your arms. He barely spared you a glance as the tears spilled over.
Selfish. Here you were now. Some weird sense in you to come out and comfort him. He had done this to you. An eternity to comfort him.
Selfish.
"Suguru, are you angry?" You sounded concerned, an odd sound that it didn't seem to fit you now.
Geto clenched his jaw, flexing his fingers. "Only at myself." He uttered.
You inched forward on the bed, a heavy frown spread across your face. "Why are you angry at yourself?"
He finally dragged his eyes to you, lids heavy and face almost as lifeless as your own. "I cursed you." He said it quietly but it felt extremely loud in his empty room. He looked for any realization in your eyes, any type of anger directed at him, but there was nothing. You just stared in return. You should be enraged. "I cursed you. Don't you understand what that means?"
Still, you didn't look angry.
"You saved me—"
"No, no, I didn't." Geto interrupted, closing his eyes in mild irritation. "I didn't... save you. I cursed you. I-I cursed you to stay by my side as I kill. As I kill in your name, you should be angry, Y/N."
“But… they’ve hurt you.” You say it with such confusion and sincerity that it makes him sick.
It’s then that he realizes what this all meant.
If you were alive now, you would look at him with all the rage in the world. You would damn him. You would be disgusted. If you were alive you would probably try to get him to see it all differently. You would tell him that staying with Gojo would’ve been better than this isolation, than this constant feeling in his chest. You would’ve known better than him.
It was then that he realized that he still blamed you for a lot. He wasn’t sure if things would be the same if just Riko died. Or maybe if you all had lived. Would he still be drawn to the same fate only later? Sometimes he was hopeful that he would be the same. Other times he wished he didn’t. All of it led to one thing: his anger for you.
There were some nights he would stay up and think about what you would do in his position. You would forgive them, try to use death as a chance to grow. You were much kinder than him. Or maybe you would be driven insane. None of you had quite tasted death until that mission. You probably would’ve handled things much differently than him if you had seen where Haibara ended up.
Bitterly, Geto thought, you probably would’ve given up.
Your sadness was always prone to taking you down. To whisper those forbidden and nasty things to you until you just wanted to bleed. You admitted to him and Gojo once that you didn’t even think you would make it to high school once. It scared them both, but you always got back up.
Yeah, you wouldn’t handle the sadness.
With a clenched jaw, Geto reached out and held your face. “I made you into this. You only kill and feel that way because that’s how I feel. Doesn’t that make you angry? Don’t you hate me?” He so desperately wanted you to see it from his point of view. He wanted the logic of it all to hit your brain and for you to finally finish what Toji and Gojo couldn’t— properly kill him.
However, just as you were in life, you would never take his life.
“I don’t care about those things.” You uttered in that distorted voice, those eyes of yours filled with emotions that he couldn’t hand pick. “Have I done something to upset you, Suguru?”
"No." Geto answered without hesitation. He pinched his eyes closed and took a deep breath. "I just want you to understand what this is."
He could feel your nail ghost over his thigh. "I understand."
Geto didn't believe you did, but he didn't have the energy to fight you. Not anymore. A part of him would always long to have a good long argument with you. But now it felt different. It felt as if it were all fabricated.
You were too agreeable now.
Please don't die. Please don't leave me.
But he supposed this was his punishment now. For being so desperate.
He rested his hand on top of your head. "Thanks for listening, I guess."
He can deal with the guilt later.
Tumblr media
IV. 2017
Geto Suguru knew this would happen.
At least, a part of him was aware that death with a very high likely once he looked Gojo Satoru in the eye and declared war. Maybe even before that as he overlooked the mess of blood and limbs Rika had left behind at the elementary.
Either way, Geto Suguru knew this would happen.
"Hey," You had spoke one day as the three of them lounge in the courtyard. You had your uniform jacket open and your hair loose from the headband you wore to keep it out of your face. A good memory if it weren't for your next question. "Is it good to live a dishonorable life and have a honorable death, or a honorable life with a dishonorable death?"
"Huh? Why would you ask that now?" Satoru had pouted.
You had shrugged. "I mean, Yaga-sensei says that to be a sorcerer we'll have to live with our regrets, but he never talks about honor."
Satoru, in true fashion, rolled his eyes at you before taking a large bite out of his sandwich. "Because it's a bunch of self righteous mumbo-jumbo." He had said through a mouth full.
"Whatever." Your eyes dragged to Suguru. Your face had blossomed into a soft smile. "What do you think, Suguru?"
Suguru had frowned, biting on his lower lip as he thought. "I think what we all consider honorable varies. At the end of the day, you'll have to look back on your life yourself and decide whether you lived it worth wild." As you and Satoru stared at him with raised eyebrows, he shyly shrugged. "Don't worry about how honorable or dishonorable you'll be to others— just live a life that'll make you happy."
While you stared at him with someone akin to awe, Satoru stared blankly at him before bowing. "Truly inspirational, Suguru-sama, please invoke more of your wisdom on us!"
You had defended Suguru fervently as Satoru crowed against your assault. Then, he had been unwavering in his beliefs.
Now, Geto Suguru, stumbling down the ally with a missing arm, knew that all was bullshit.
There was nothing honorable or dishonorable about death. It was all a matter how people viewed you at the time. No one would be truly satisfied with their death because there would be a long list of things they wished they had done or hadn't done in their life.
As Yaga had said, they would all die with regrets.
His plans to obtain Rika had been rooted from a place of pure selfishness. His need to find alternative needs that didn't include using you in the most indescribable and unforgiveable way. He knew, deep down, that if he had used you the way that he planed to use Rika's powers— he would never forgive himself.
He hadn't even wanted to use you against Okkotsu Yuta. But that kid was something else. Most definitely a protege of Gojo Satoru. He could recall the caught off guard look on Okkotsu's face once you appeared. The confusion and the shock that overtook him as you wrapped yourself around Geto Suguru. He had uttered something that made the man falter.
"You're like me?"
There were so many things something that could mean.
You're like me: you're cursed with a love by your side, permanently protecting you against things that you didn't think were dangerous.
You're like me: someone had died so close to you that couldn't quite detach themselves from your soul.
You're like me: you cursed another because you couldn't accept that death was final?
Yes, Geto Suguru bitterly thought as his drive to kill Okkotsu grew. I did.
Now, Geto Suguru couldn't even feel you brewing with his soul. He didn't even think there'd be a difference if you ever left him. But there was this odd sense of loneliness deep within him that made him sick (definitely had nothing to do with the intense blood loss). His stomach churned as his mind silently cried out for you.
Was this true death? Nothing left to hold onto, just the memories and emptiness?
You're like me: you can't live without them.
Geto Suguru fell against the wall of the alley with a bitter scoff. Of course he couldn't. No matter how much he tried to convince himself, he spent the last 10 years attach his very life and soul around you. Tried to act like a big boy whenever he was asked what he would do if he was freed from this curse.
He didn't even get to say goodbye.
Your eyes were blank.
"You finally made it," Geto Suguru snorted as he shifted his eyes over to the looming figure feet from him. "Satoru."
There was something so jarring seeing him now.
Compared to when he arrived a month prior, Gojo Satoru lacked those bandages around his eyes. Those blinding and once comforting pair of sky blues were staring into his very soul blankly. Did he realize that he wasn't coming to say goodbye to you? To free you from a monster like Geto Suguru? That he had actually used you in a last ditch effort to obtain Rika?
He was sure he was aware now.
"You'll be the one to take me down, huh?" He kept a hold on his shoulder as he dragged his eyes away from Gojo Satoru to avoid the unbearable guilt that overcame him. Years of regret and what if's overtaking his mind. "How's my family?"
As long as Nanako and Mimiko were safe, he could die without regret.
"They all got away. Kyoto was your doing too, wasn't it?" Gojo Satoru's voice was as telling as it was 10 years ago. As saddened and angered as the day he had walked away from it all.
"Yeah, unlike you, I'm a kind person. You sent those two here knowing I'd defeat them.... just so you could trigger Okkotsu's growth." He had been thinking about it since the moment Okkotsu's eyes had darkened. The unbearable grief that took over the boy as he eyed his unmoving and bloody friends.
Your eyes were blank.
"It's called trust. People with beliefs like yours wouldn't kill a young sorcerer without reason."
Geto Suguru laughed. "Trust, huh?" He couldn't help the amusement flow through him. After all these years... "I didn't realize you still felt any connection with me."
His counterpart responded with a scoff. "Suguru." It was said with the weight of a thousand lonely days— as if Satoru had thought the same. As if nothing had changed. The man clenched his jaw, ducking his eyes from view as he spoke once again: "Any last words?"
Geto Suguru drew in a heavy breath, things were really getting hazy now— almost feather light. "No matter what, I'll always hate those monkeys." His words were said with the disdain and hatred of the past ten years. Then he thought about where he was 10 years ago. The grief and the isolation that overtook him. He grew quiet. "But it's not like I hate everyone at Jujutsu High. It's just that in this world... I couldn't wear a heartfelt smile."
Satoru stood there in silence. Seeming to take in the words carefully.
"Anything else?" He uttered.
Suguru frowned, ducking his head. There was one thing he had been thinking about for the past two years that grappled him in the most unnerving ways. "Do you think they'll forgive me?" His question was soft and barely there— he was barely there himself anyway.
Satoru scoffed, except it sounded more fond than before. "They were always too forgiving of us. If you're worried about your purgatory being apologizing to them for eternity, then you're fine— it'd be too easy anyway." He joked softly, except his blank expression didn't quite add to the comfort or joke of it all.
I'd spend the rest of time apologizing. Suguru fought the urge to say.
"I figured."
"Suguru," Satoru took attentive steps forward, crouching down to his level. Their eyes met and there was something almost tangiable in that gaze of his. "I love you. I forgive you."
Suguru couldn't help the shock that flushed over his body. As the pain seemed to leave him completely, he used the last bits of his strength to show Satoru a true smile. The only one he could really conjure.
"You could at least curse me at the end."
As Satoru stared at him, as Yuta Okkotsu celebrated with his friends the victory and their safety, and as Suguru took his last breaths, his eyes trailed over Satoru's shoulder.
You stared back with a kind smile. Looking more alive than you had in the past ten years, you wore the clothes you had the day you died, your normal boring uniform. Suguru hated to admit he missed seeing those terrible uniforms.
"Suguru."
1K notes · View notes
itschlorosis · 1 year
Text
their own little world - neteyam
Tumblr media
𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘮 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘺𝘢!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 : 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩, 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘦
𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 : 2.2𝘬
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 : 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 19, 𝘯𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘮
keep in mind that english is not my first language :))
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Neteyam couldn’t remember a day where she wasn’t in his life. From his young age, to his adulthood, she always held a special place in his heart. Her parents were great warriors, admired by all, including the Olo’eyktan, Jake Sully, his father. Given their closeness, Neytiri asked Mo'at to train the young girl as Tsahik.  A mother knows all, Neytiri knew Neteyam and y/n were chosen by the Great Mother, for a greater purpose. It was easy for the Sully to like the girl, she was sweet, gentle and she knew when to be fierce and strong. The perfect balance. 
Just like Spider, she spent her childhood with Jake’s kids. Unlike Spider, however, Neytiri appreciated the girl. She was Na’vi, good for her oldest son. She could sometimes see Jake and herself through them, it made her smile.
As the oldest son of the Olo’eyktan, Neteyam suffered the pressure of his position. Always had to be perfect, always had to protect his siblings, always had to put others before himself. Reaching his teenage years was hard on him, he had to let go of all his innocence, of all his childish happiness. The only moments he could be himself were sacred and, sadly, rare moments he spent with y/n. Sometimes, he let himself go with Lo’ak, the instant always cut short by the looming figure of their father. Don’t get him wrong, Neteyam loved his family, he would die for them, but on rare occasions, he would wish he wasn’t the son of Jake Sully, the next Olo’eyktan. He just wanted to be 19 and free. This very thought, was the reason he followed his stupid brother into the battlefield. He wanted to feel free, even if it was just for a few minutes. Watching over Lo’ak was his job, when he got in trouble, Neteyam stated it was his fault. However, on this very day, as he laid on the ground after an explosion, he wanted to be anyone else, very far away from this place.
Back in the camps, and after his father’s scolding, the oldest brother found himself seated before his grandmother, dressing his wounds. His sisters Kiri and Tuk were also here, one helping Mo’at, the other making sure her brother was okay. He longed for y/n to be the one tending to his bruises, but he heard she was occupied with the other lightly wounded. He would have given anything to feel her gentle hands on his back, her sweet words in his ears. Y/N heard about Neteyam’s injuries, it worried her, but Lo’ak came by, telling her he was okay. She wished time would go by faster, to be relieved of her functions to sneak out to the cave Neteyam and her would go to be away from the world, just for a few hours. She feared he was in too much pain to make the journey, but she also feared he’d be sad not to see her. Now in the cave, surrounded by fluorescent lights and the eclipse shining through the hole on the top of the cave, y/n found herself silly, thinking she didn’t want to come tonight. The scenery was breathtaking. The cave was filled with small lives, all shining in the dark, giving it a very intimate feeling. The hot spring gave the place a sweet heat, relaxing her tired muscles. 
After the long day she had, the young girl dreamt of nothing more than to relax in the waters. After waiting for almost 2 hours, y/n was convinced Neteyam would not show up tonight. Removing her clothes, she entered the lake, sighing at the feeling of the knots in her back disappearing. Swimming for a bit, she ended up sitting next to the shore, her body completely submerged. Looking up, the girl watched the stars, imagining Neteyam by her side, telling her Jake’s stories about Earth, about his time before his kids. She heard those stories many times, Jake’s children were really proud of their father. Neteyam told her about his mother as well, how she almost killed Jake the first time she saw him. If it wasn’t for Eywa’s seed, none of the children would be here today. Every time y/n was told that particular story, she thanked the Great Mother for her signs. Thinking about the Great Mother, she prayed that, when the day comes, Neteyam will choose her as his mate. He is the next Olo’eyktan, he needed a Tsahik. When Mo’at offered to start training her, she was exited, hoping the young boy would ask her to be his future Tsahik. That was 4 years ago, he had yet to ask. Over the years, she lost hope he ever would. Sometimes, she would see his eyes wandering over other young girls, all prettier than her. They could dance, and sing, whereas she was good at healing. She could hunt, of course, however, when the humans came back, she was assigned as a healer. She was disappointed at first, then understood it was an important role, just like a soldier. Little did she know, it was Neteyam's begging that convinced Jake not to assign her as a spotter, like his sons. 
Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. Neteyam knew she would often get lost in her own little world, so he made sure to be as loud as possible, not wanting to startle her. For the last hours, he was trapped in his home, his mother refusing to let him leave her sight. He understood she was been scared of losing him, but he needed his freedom. Just for a few hours of normality, of tranquillity in their little cave. Neteyam was sure that the young girl would already be there, what he wasn’t expected was to fall on her naked in the hot spring. Of course, it was normal for them to go in the water, the heat of it helping them relax, getting them into a sleepy haze. However, they were always dressed, she must have thought he wouldn’t come tonight. How could she think that ? Neteyam was a boy of habits, of course, he was meeting her tonight.
It was a beautiful night, moons shining more than usual and the stars, Great Mother, the stars were a sight to see. The young boy found himself thinking it was a sign of Eywa for him to finally express his feeling. Everything was perfect, and he almost died today. That put things in perspective, he wouldn’t leave this world without her knowing how much she meant to him. 
‘’Hi.’’ Was all Neteyam said. Feeling embarrassed for the lake of words, he continued. ‘’It’s a really beautiful night, I can see you are enjoying it.’’ Of course, ever the gentleman, Neteyam turned his back to her, in case he scared her enough for her to turn around. 
In deed, hearing his voice, y/n jumped from fright, turning around quickly. Remembering she was naked, she stepped back until she was standing, water up to her chin. 
‘’Neteyam ! I thought you were not coming tonight. How are you ? How are your wounds ? Are you not tired ? ‘’ she asked, in a hurry to have her answers. Neteyam laughed gently, naturally, his sweet girl would be worried about him, it made his heart accelerate. 
‘’I am fine, don’t worry. Of course I was coming tonight, I missed you. I would have come sooner but, my mother was worried, so she didn’t let me leave. Had to wait until she fell asleep.’’ Thinking about his plan, Neteyam knew Tuk would get up in the night to go to Neytiri and Jake and his parents would definitely see he was not in his bed. He was in trouble, but it was worth it. ‘’Is the water warm ? I would kill for a bath.’’ 
He couldn’t possibly be thinking of joining her ? She was naked in the water, surely he had seen that. They were close, but not that close, although she wished they were. Before she could answer, she heard clothes hitting the floor. Too scared to look up, she turned around, swimming deeper in the water. 
‘’Neteyam ! What are you doing ?’’ The poor girl was shocked, he never acted so boldly, always shying away when she, lamentably, tried to flirt a little. 
‘’I’m just trying to relax in these nice and warm waters, just like you are. What is so wrong with that ?’’ Y/N could hear the smirk on his face. Approaching the young girl, Neteyam splashed her with water, to make her look at him. Knowing her like the back of his end, his little plan worked. Finally seeing her tonight, he gave her a genuine smile, which she returned of course. He wanted to hug her, but he wouldn’t test his luck. He could clearly see the girl was a bit uncomfortable, and if he was being honest, he was a bit too. He was never that bold, but tonight felt like the perfect time to be. So he continued.
‘’You know, I have been thinking about my coming ceremony, you know, when I’ll become Olo’eyktan. My mother had been going on about how I shall choose a mate, to be my Tsahik. She told me it was important I have a deep connection with this person, a strong Olo’eyktan and Tsahik mean a strong clan.’’ Y/N didn’t like the direction this conversation was taking, it felt like her heart was breaking, slowly, with each word leaving his mouth. He was going to tell her they couldn’t be seen together, that they couldn’t be friends any more. Her heart started accelerating, the panic she felt was giving her a hard time breathing. ‘’ The events of today made me realize that anything can happen at anytime, so I better make this decision quickly. I don’t want to die without a mate.’’
Before he could continue, y/n turned around, she didn’t want him to see the tears gathering in her eyes. He didn’t want the girl of the clan imagining she was anything else than a friend, they had to take distances for him to mate with another. After focusing enough to form thoughts, the young girl starting talking. 
‘’I get it, Neteyam. You must do what is best for the people. I heard that Tsu’la was the best dancer, and Noulat is the best hunter. They would make strong mates.’’ At those words, Neteyam became strongly confused. What was she on about? She couldn’t be thinking he would want another than her right ? After all those years together, all those moments he spent vulnerable, taking about his doubts and fears. Oh, Great Mother, she might have been the most intelligent girl he knew, but she was really dense at this very moment. 
‘’Dear Eywa, why must you be so blind ?’’ Neteyam asked, although he was amused at her clear sign of spite and jealousy when she said the other girls’ name. ‘’I don’t care about Tsu’la or Noulat, the girl I care about is the best healer I know. She is the most beautiful and the most intelligent girl of the clan. She can talk for hours about the plants and creatures of the forest. Not only that, but she is never bored with me when I tell her the same stories over and over again. Most importantly, she allows me to be myself, to be vulnerable and free when I’m with her. She has never seen me as anything else than Neteyam, not Jake Sully’s son, not the next Olo’eyktan, not the perfect oldest brother, just plain boring Neteyam.’’
The moment she understood he was describing her, she turned around, tears still in her eyes, but for a totally different reason. All this time, he felt the same thing ? Both felt stupid for not realizing that they could have been together a long time ago. When he was finished, y/n jumped to hug him, not caring that they were naked any more. She wanted to feel him, to feel his arms surrounding her. He felt like home.
‘’You are not plain nor are you boring Neteyam.’’ It was all she could whisper in his ear, still coming to terms with the fact that he had finally said something. He wanted her, not anyone else, her. Neteyam laughed quietly at her words, hugging her close to his body. Moving her head from his shoulder to press her forehead against his, the look in their eyes was full of vulnerability, respect and love. The outside world didn’t exist right now, it was just Neteyam and y/n, like it has always been. 
‘’I see you’’ was heard in the cave. And here, on this beautiful night, two souls became one. In their own little world, nothing could have torn them apart. 
5K notes · View notes
hannaxjo · 5 months
Text
Alan Rickman, David Thewlis, Gary Oldman and all those are iconic in their roles in Harry Potter, but I’ll always be a bit sad about that casting, because having that ‘Marauders era’ cast be age appropriate would’ve just been so much better for the story.
Sirius wasn’t this old man who spent 12 years in Azkaban, no he got locked up at 21. He spent almost third of his life in a cell. He wasn’t this wise father figure to Harry, he was a reckless thirty-something who never really got the chance to mature past 21.
Remus was an exhausted, bone deep tired man carrying both physical and mental scars from the suffering he went through. Because he’s a werewolf, because of the war, because he lost all of his friends. And he’s only 33 when first introduced.
And Snape. Snape wasn’t an old bitter man who just hated everyone and enjoyed being antagonistic. He was 31 in Harry’s first year. He began to work for Voldemort as a teen, and as a double agent at 20. He’s a thirty-something bitter man, who never got to really live or make real connections. From Harry’s perspective he’s scary and intimidating, but really he’s just kinda…sad and pathetic. And then especially that scene where Snape is begging Dumbledore to help save Lily, and promising anything in return. (Because apparently Dumbledore needs something in return…for saving people.) He’s twenty. Barely out of his teens. Rickman was good in that scene, but having someone who actually looks twenty, would better show how scared, young, guilty and just desperate he was. That might not put Dumbledore in such a good light, though.
And then, the characters I think would’ve been the most important to cast age appropriately. And most people probably already agree and know who I’m talking about. James and Lily. They were 21 when they died. When Harry sees them in the mirror of Erised, they’re 10 years older than him. That’s the age difference Ron has with Bill. In that scene I might understand somewhat them being in their thirties, because that’s what Harry wants. He wants his life with his parents, he wants to have been raised by them. Though, I don’t know if the mirror could know what they might’ve looked like in their thirties, since they didn’t live that long. But then, in the cemetery when Voldemort’s wand spits the last spells cast, we see Lily and James as they were. 21. They’re telling their son to hold on just a moment longer. And they are 7 years older than him. In Deathly Hallows, Harry sees Voldemort kill them. They’re not this happy couple who’s got to love each other for a long time, only to have that happiness torn from them, no they started at Hogwarts ten years ago. They’re 21, and they’ve barely tasted that happiness. At the end of the book Harry talks to his parents. They comfort him and promise to stay with him, as he goes to die. Harry’s seventeen. James and Lily are four years older than him.
It wouldn’t have felt as nice. Harry being comforted by someone who looks almost his age. But it wasn’t nice. It was pretty tragic. Casting people who look 21, would’ve really made it land on the audience. It was a tragedy. They were barely adults.
1K notes · View notes
wingedblooms · 2 months
Text
IS THIS ANOTHER HINT FOR ELAIN?!?! ELRIEL? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tumblr media
[Verse 1]
Drownin' in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
I dream of crackin' locks
Throwin' my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashin' into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions
Am I bad or mad or wise?
[Chorus]
What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trips
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
[Verse 2]
I keep these longings locked
In lowеrcase inside a vault
Someonе told me, "There's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk"
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath takin' all of me
We've already done it in my head, if it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?
[Chorus]
What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bed sheets are ablaze
I've screamed his name
Buildin' up like waves crashin' over my grave
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
[Bridge]
What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously
[Chorus]
What if he's written "Mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
I'm slippin', fallin' back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trips
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
[Outro]
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry?
369 notes · View notes
vidavalor · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
This is the face of an angel who just realized that his oppressors are afraid of him and his friends because, together, they are a force that threatens the regime.
This is the face of an angel that just realized all of this Metatron nonsense is to separate them and keep him-- the best strategist-- from starting a revolution. If they are split up, The Second Coming goes off without a hitch... but if Aziraphale unites them, then Heaven will fall. Crowley & Aziraphale alone are enough trouble together to stop Armageddon. Crowley & Aziraphale with the eons-long leaders and commanders of Heaven and Hell in Gabriel and Beezelbub, though? That is a coup.
How little would it take to overthrow it all at this point? How long until it's Crowley & Aziraphale & Gabriel & Beez... & Muriel & Eric & Furfur? How til they get Michael and Dagon on their side? How long until it's actually most of the demons and a sizable portion of the angels teaming up against what's left of Heaven?
Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. Aziraphale took the coffee. The Metatron thinks it means subservience. He thinks it means he's tricked Aziraphale and that he's won and he was almost right, so is the level of trauma these beings have suffered. He didn't know, though, that coffee is already coded as liberty. He handed Aziraphale a cup of symbolic freedom and didn't realize how so very true that was going to be. Just like a certain empire once did when they gave some of their people the option to form some colonies, thinking that the empire would always remain in control, and now we call those colonies not part of Great Britain but The United States of America.
"Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks leap out"-- the Job quote on the matchbox. The matchbox containing the fly, containing Gabriel via Beez. Out of Gabriel's mouth goes burning lamps-- Gabriel lights the way. He's the path forward. He is first shots fired in the rebellion...
...and sparks leap out.
Some Boston Tea Party stuff afoot, you guys.
That is the face of an angel that just realized that he and Crowley were both wrong: the solution isn't running away but it's also not taking over a broken system that doesn't want to be fixed... it's fanning the spark that Gabriel lit into a flame and then into an inferno and burning this entire mother to the ground.
Aziraphale is no longer headed to Heaven to run it.
He's headed to Heaven to *overthrow* it.
He's headed to Heaven to *liberate* it.
No idea how much of a chance he will get to succeed alone but this is Aziraphale. He will give them hell if it's the last thing he ever does-- for Muriel and all the angels like them. For all the persecuted demons. For the humans Heaven wants to destroy. For Gabriel.
Most of all, for what they did to Crowley and the 6,000 years of fear and pain they've put them through.
That is the face of an angel who just realized that he had almost been drawn back into Heaven's web of darkness again, only to hear that Heaven wants him to oversee the destruction of 8 billion people and the Earth he calls home and the stars the love of his life built and he has reached his absolute last remaining straw.
They've taken his home and hurt his friends and they took *Crowley* and at this point, Aziraphale no longer gives one flying fuck what it might be that God wants because God can go fuck herself if this it is. The elevator scene is Aziraphale saying Crowley was right:
Tumblr media
That angel is *untethered* with barely controlled rage. They nearly played him for a sucker. He might die doing this and they fooled him and he broke Crowley's heart and they've taken too. Fucking. Much. It's just utter destruction. There will be no system of Heaven and Hell done when Aziraphale is through with it.
Aziraphale is about to go from not sure if he should stop Armageddon in S1 to being the angel that destroys the system of Heaven and Hell in S3.
Tumblr media
Yes, you can save everyone, Aziraphale, but not alone. You need Crowley's imagination and Gabriel's leadership and Beez's intelligence. That's what they're afraid of. You finally got it in that elevator, so get up there now, get your gang back together, and make some trouble.
Tumblr media
638 notes · View notes
ailithnight · 1 year
Text
Aheem... prompt from @regonold
16 Hours
Danny remembers the first time something shorted out his powers. Vlad with his stupid Plasmius Maximus thing. Well, 'remembers'. Mostly he remembers the aftermath.
Apparently Vlad hadn't known at the time exactly how Danny ended up half ghost. He thought it had been a slower progression like his own development. It hadn't occurred to him that Danny's original death had been much quicker.
Danny remembers a short, light shock. Really, the spector deflector was worse. But this shock... suddenly his muscles were seizing, his heart stuttering, his Lichtenbergs burning. And then, nothing. A blank space in Danny's head that apparently spanned 3 hours.
Next thing he knows, they're in some kind of vehicle. There are sirens outside (a police escort, Danny would later learn). His mom is driving like her life depends on it. And Vlad is giving him chest compressions, looking grieved and panic striken. He's crying. They both are.
"Please tell me you didn't have to kiss me." His voice comes out pained and raspy. Mom almost crashes the vehicle.
"No, Little Badger. Thankfully, you kept breathing. Just your heart that was struggling." Vlad chuckled, guilty yet relieved.
It was another hour before they made it to the nearest hospital from the stupid hunting cabin. 6 more for all the stupid medical tests. "An accident," Vlad told them. "Small shock, but with an already weak heart..."
Any other time, Danny might have argued. Tried to make Vlad admit more guilt. But the whole ordeal had exhausted him to much to care then.
The second time was marginally better. At least with the Fenton Crammer, it was a steady loss. And Danny managed to fix it before his healing factor fully failed. It still hadn't been pleasant, fighting Skulker and dealing with Dash while phantom echoes of his death arced across his body. But he'd managed.
This. This is so much worse. Danny thought it would be like the Crammer again. A steady decline. But it isn't.
And it isn't like the Maximus either, a one then done, pain then nothing, dying then dead, moment.
No. This is more like the blood blossoms. This is torture. This is hell.
The suppression cuffs let just enough of his power bleed through, just enough healing factor, to keep him alive. Alive and in agony for... hours? Days? Weeks? Minutes? Danny couldn't really tell. His thoughts had long since turned to nothing but static and pain. All he knew was that time was passing around him while he was here, suffering on the absolute brink of death yet unable to embrace it.
Oh god he wanted to die. Please just let him die already! It's too much. A death that should only last a few seconds drug out into an eternity. His muscles ached with the strain of being locked up. His insides were broiling from the electric heat. His heart stuttered and stopped and started and stuttered. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts!
He might have been screaming. He might have been Wailing. Or he might he been choking on weak uneven breaths. Danny didn't know. Didn't care to know. Didn't care if he ever found out the details of his time in chains. He just wanted, no needed, it to end. But it just dragged on and on and on. And Danny was lost in it.
Too far gone to even realize when it ended.
.
Batman hadn't been there when the new meta appeared, quite literally materializing from nowhere in the conference room mid-meeting. He had been dealing with a mass Arkham breakout at the time. So he wasn't there. An unfortunate fact which will haunt him for the rest of his life and possibly beyond.
He should have been there. If he had only been there...
He didn't blame his team mates. They didn't know. Who would have guessed that simple power suppression cuffs could ever be an instrument of torture. He'd never considered it possible.
He didn't blame his team mates. How could he blame them? Batman wasn't even the one to connect the dots. Red Robin figured it out. He always was good at stringing together thoughts know one else would think to connect.
Red Robin asked the right questions. He figured out in 5 minutes what the rest of the league and the best doctors -not technically- on earth had been agonizing over for 16 hours.
16 hours too long.
He should have been here. Should have come sooner.
"Don't know, B!" Flash had met him at the Zetas, already rambling at top speed before he could reorient himself after teleportation. Everyone else had gone home, unable to help and needing to tend to their own cities and responsibilities.
"He just- He appeared out of nowhere while we were in meeting. Didn't trip any alarms or nothing. Just popped up. We figured it had to be teleportation, but he'd have to know where the Watchtower was to do that.
So we figured, you know, random kid teleporting into the Watchtower during a Justice League meeting. Not good. Big threat. Bats would tell us to detain. So we did.
But before we could get him to a holding cell, there was this flash of light and he changed or something. He had white hair and green eyes and some sort of jumpsuit on when he appeared.
But after the light he had black hair and a t-shirt and jeans and I actually didn't see his eyes cause he just collapsed on the spot.
Started convulsing or seizing or something. And screaming. God, B, the screaming... So we took him to medbay and...
He's dying B. He has to be. He's got a fever that keeps spiking and dropping, his muscles keep spasming, and his heart keeps giving out...
He looks 14. He looks like..."
Flash had trailed off there, as they reached medbay. Bruce understood his reluctance to complete that sentence as soon as he saw the boy.
He looks like a Robin.
Like all 4 of his sons combined.
Like someone mixed Dick's and Jason's faces and put it on Tim's body at Damian's age.
It can't even be a trick. The suppression cuffs are nullifying his abilities. This is what he truly looks like.
His sons.
In pain.
In agony for 16 hours because Batman prioritized Gotham over an emergency on the Watchtower.
"When exactly did you say he collapsed."
"When we were moving him to a holding cell after we caught him. He was a trick to catch too. He-"
Red Robin cut him off. "Yeah, sure. But when exactly did this start. What happened immediately before?"
Flash was less then pleased about being interrupted, but acquiesced after a look from Batman. Tim had an idea. Tim was on to something. "Like I said, just after we caught him and got the cuffs on so he'd stop slipping away again."
Bruce couldn't keep the growl out of his voice one he realized what Tim was suggesting. Of course he knows it wasn't their fault. He's told all of them as much since. But in the moment...
"Take them off!"
"What?"
"It's the cuffs! Take the damn cuffs off! They're killing him!"
Flash wasted no more time, bolting out of the room to fetch the disabler. Tim didn't bother waiting for the fastest man alive. He had the cuffs disabled before Flash would have been able to swipe his access card into the detainment center storage room. Bruce practically threw the cuffs out of the room in his haste to get them away.
The change had been... not nearly as quick as Bruce would have liked. The heartrate settled out almost instantly, although into something a bit too slow for comfort. But it was steady and Bruce knew nothing about this kid's normal physiology so he counted it a win.
The screaming, of course, had long since choked off. According to Flash's report, his vocal cords failed after about an hour. But his facial expressions still indicated consciousness, though not awareness.
The muscles stopped spasming and unlocked slowly over the course of several minutes. Flash was back by then, looking a bit put out to have lost a race against Red Robin. Batman could not give a single flying fuck about Flash's ego right then.
Shortly after his muscles unlocking was when he finally passed out. Once more, Batman thought about 16 hours. 16 hours and he hadn't even been able to slip into unconsciousness for relief. He should have been here.
The fever was the slowest to break. In that it still hadn't broken almost 2 hours later. Batman had sent Tim and Flash home after Red Robin finished squeezing all the details he could out of Barry. Tim had given him a look before leaving, some mixture of worry and mischief. "Should I tell Agent A to prepare a room?" Bruce just rolled his eyes and shooed him off. Hopefully to bed. Knowing his son, probably not. Tim was most likely still up doing research. Bruce wanted to call Alfred to wrangle Tim to sleep.
But calling Alfred would mean leaving the room so the still potentially a threat meta couldn't hear if he woke up. And Bruce couldn't leave him. Not until the fever broke. Not until he woke up. Not until he knew the boy that looked like his sons would be okay.
Not until he could apologize for being late.
16 hours.
16 hours too late.
2K notes · View notes
r0semaryt3a · 16 days
Note
Loved your dating hc's!!! They all felt really convincing and in character 💕💕 How do you think the pt (preferably chrollo, uvo, phinks and feitan if thats too many) sleep next to u?? are they cuddlers, kickers, white noise users, midnight bathroom breakers, snorers or whatever else?
Ahhh glad to hear it!! I’ve only really wrote a lot about Chrollo so I was worried the others were OOC-
I’ve only really been thinking of writing for Chrollo, Feitan, Phinks, Shalnark, Machi and Paku but given as you asked for Uvo I’ll add another onto that list! (Small spoiler warning: I love the troupe, but they’re all messy sleepers and I won’t be convinced otherwise!)
Chrollo
He definitely has a night mask, incense and all that to help him doze off. Chrollo is a chronic suffer of predormitional insomnia: his mind runs a million a minute, man is NOT used to sleeping a healthy 8hrs.
You can guarantee if Chrollo falls asleep before you (a very rare event) you’ll find him stiff as a log. He falls asleep in whatever position he’s in and will stay there until he wakes up. Honestly, it’s a wonder he isn’t ridden with all sorts of issues (get him a chiropractor one day.)
On the other 364 days a year when he falls asleep after you, well aren’t you just the perfect little teddy bear! His arms are always wrapped around you tightly.
If you happen to be a light sleeper? You’ll definitely wake up in the middle of the night to his face buried into the crook of your neck; fingers tapping away at your abdomen as his breathing settles, the smell of lavender drowning out any other senses. So definitely a cuddler. (I will die on this hill)
Sometimes he might even pepper your neck with kisses if he notices you’re awake.
If you’re a heavier sleeper? You better get used to waking up in the morning under a vice like grip, a mat of black hair brushing against your cheek and -whether he’s awake or not- you’re not getting out of it
Big spooner, you could be twice the height of him and he’d still demand it.
Not much of a snorer, maybe the few light hitches here and there but overall he’s sound asleep.
Most nights when Chrollo can’t sleep, he’ll sit up with a book in one hand and his other arm wrapped around your sleeping form. Sometimes he’ll doze off and sometimes he’ll only be brought away from his book by your stirring.
On particularly bad nights, where his insomnia truly flairs up, you’ll have to listen to a plethora of podcasts or “soothing sounds” for him to actually sleep. And yes, you’ll have to listen to them. There’s something innately intimate about having you indulge him in his interests: makes it far easier to sleep.
Feitan
You cannot tell if this man is awake or asleep 9/10.
“You sleep. I watch.” Kind of deal, he has many things to preoccupy himself with: like watching you! (In a: ‘someone takes even one step in this general direction, you’ll have a lullaby of screaming to doze off to’ kind of way)
It’s not that he can’t sleep, it’s that he doesn’t want to. Feitan sees sleep as a waste of time, it bleeds days into days and he could be spending that time well, instead of sleeping.
Everytime he wakes up he mentally kicks himself for having made such a waste of time
That’s where you come in! Hope you’re willing to have a human sized cat latched onto you every single night! Big spoon, little spoon, doesn’t matter to him: you’ll wind up with him clinging onto you for dear life regardless.
Despite this fact however, you’ll never know the plethora of times he wakes up in the middle of the night, painstakingly, detaches himself from you and paces around the room feverishly. Muttering about who knows what, head flicking to every angle at even the minutest of sounds. Feitan doesn’t like not being alert: loathes it, so this is his way to regulate the nerves that rest often brings.
Feitan is a very light sleeper, any slight movement may set him off and cause him to completely switch back on (sleep maintenance insomnia hits him hard).
He doesn’t strike me as a snorer but definitely isn’t quiet, sounds like a Guinea pig sometimes. A total teeth chatterer. Seriously, you’ll wake up and hear a light ‘Tch Tch Tch’ from wherever the hell he’s grabbing onto you tonight.
Will not ever wake up in the same position he falls asleep in (not that you’ll ever know that fact, he’s always looking over you long before you’re awake.)
Trust me: you’ll know if Feitan has a bad dream. His claws (yes claws) will be digging into you, his hold on you tightening with a particularly sharp ‘hiss’ of his teeth.
Likelihood is: his sleeping patterns will leave more marks on you than any other activities ever will. But, don’t worry! It shows he cares (I think?).
Phinks
Kicker, oh he is a real kicker.
You’ll wind up waking up off the bed more times than you will on it.
On and off cuddler, there’s very few times that you’ll fall asleep cuddling but by god is it a wild guess as to whether you’ll wake up doing so.
Phinks will fall asleep with his back towards you, teetering off the edge of the bed. And, In the matter of minutes can have one leg half way across the bed, the other swung over the edge, left hand across his face, right on his chest, mouth slack and whole body at a 45* angle.
Other times, you’ll find a knee digging into your back as he’s (very awkwardly) cuddling you from behind.
Surprising the masses (not): he snores. Has a whole box of nose strips to stop this.
Despite all of these, interesting, idiosyncrasies. The few times you fall asleep cuddling: he’s an entirely different sleeper. It’s like he takes a page out of Chrollo’s book and doesn’t move an inch (aside from rolling, he’s a total roller).
The snoring won’t stop though.
Doesn’t need anything to help him sleep, his head hits the pillow and he’s out like a light. Real heavy sleeper as well, you could roll him off the bed with an almighty thud and he’d still be sound sleep. It’s actually fairly endearing.
Will sleep for 6 hours, wake up for 1, roll around for a bit, settle down and then sleep for another 2.
Best pray you’re a heavy sleeper: that’s all the advice I can give you.
Honestly? It’s like sleeping next to a bear, vaguely adorable as much as it has you fearing for you life (and place on the bed).
Uvogin
If Phinks is like sleeping next to a bear, Uvo is a bear hug.
You’ll find your place settled neatly against his chest, as if he’s one of those comically large backpacks (like Johnny’s from Hotel Transylvania). Don’t worry about anything, truly, you’ll be snug as a bug in a hug.
Surprisingly, not a snorer (when sober at least). Often needs noises to fall asleep to though. If there’s not calamity afoot then Uvo tends to get angsty; you may have to deal with the occasional outburst.
So, you often have loud games or shows blaring in the background as he rests his chin on your head. Uvo doesn’t fall asleep easily, meaning there’s very few times that you can turn the noise off before you head to sleep yourself. You best get used to sleeping to the volume of a rock concert! (with his constant screeching he blew his own ear drums)
Invest in earbuds of some kind, it’ll help the both of you.
The LOUDEST snorer when drunk. I mean LOUDEST. Cotton buds line your bathroom cupboards for whenever he drinks, you’ll have to pick out bits of cotton on particularly bad nights.
Absolute hoarder. Whether it be you, a pillow, the duvet, he’ll have it and he isn’t letting it go. It’s honestly quite comforting, his presence isn’t exactly small, so with this hoarding comes a sense of security.
He’s surprisingly gentle as well, it doesn’t feel infantilising, more like you’re something from a heist that he doesn’t want to break.
Can fall asleep anywhere there’s noise. It’s a skill, you’ll find him contorted in a corner just so long as the TV’s humming in the background. Don’t think of moving him, you won’t.
Probably takes a good few trips to the loo during the night. Which, unfortunately for you, given your nightly position: leads to you being woken up every time he does.
Shalnark
Not a fan of cuddles, like at all. Shalnark is quite the squisher when you’re both up and about or even just lounging on the covers, but when it comes to sleeping? He’ll do it, sure, but he won’t be too thrilled most nights. There’s the odd time that he’ll be uncharacteristically for the idea, pulling you close and running off a mile a minute! He doesn’t tend to actually sleep those nights, more ramble on like you’re at some two person sleepover; the sentiment’s there nonetheless.
Despite this fact, he’s very specific with having at least something pressed up against his back -little spooner- and will get agitated if this requirement isn’t met.
Podcasts, lots of podcasts. Shalnark has about ten to twenty playlists that he’ll be sat scrolling through: trying to find the one he wants to sleep to. You’ll never be privy to these of course, he tends to keep a pair of headphones shoved in some drawer.
Oftentimes, before even attempting to sleep, he’ll be scrolling through some forum or busy doing: something. Though, for some reason you don’t remember any of his chronic scrolling…
Bathroom breaker, it’s nothing annoying but you’ll never not notice the shift in weight, as he swings his legs off the bed and heads to the bathroom. He’s always careful not to make too much noise, which winds up causing more in the process.
Has a small assortment of glasses of water that will accumulate through the week, all filled to different volumes. He swears he’ll drink them! He never does. It just ticks that little box of ‘just incase’ and he can’t sleep without it. Same with most other amenities.
Late sleeper, this man will never be up before you. That may be attributed to the fact he never falls asleep before you, but who’s to say!
Machi
The fact you don’t have single beds is both a gift to thank her for and a curse. Machi is a sleep tosser; she tosses a lot.
You tend to sleep on opposite ends of the bed. This is both in part to her overall distaste of sleeping together and the kicking. Oh boy, the kicking.
You know how the immune system can sometimes misinterpret things as threats, causing autoimmune reactions? That Machi when asleep. It’s like a subconscious instinct, a defence mechanism is you will; it’s certainly a good one! It’s just, not always needed. Especially not when you wake up at 4:34am after a particularly sharp jab at your side.
Though, some nights she’s stiff as a board! Not one movement or peep. As if death herself had stole Machi away.
She’s not a particularly picky sleeper, Machi can rest to almost anything. However, there is one thing that seems to expedite the process. Fire - whether the simple crackling singing off in the distance, or the chocking scent of smoke pervading the air. It seems to calm Machi, there’s no foreseeable reason for it. She just, likes fire.
L i g h t sleeper, you can’t count the amount of times she’s jolted awake, swearing she heard something. Windows, doors and anything else that might throw the room into disarray or stir up noise are a must close.
Sleep mutterer. It’s a rare occurrence, but Machi will sometimes have whole conversations with the air. You’re usually both asleep when these conversations take place (there was once that you overheard one to its completion. You’ll never tell her of course).
Pakunoda
Incense galore.
Seriously it’s everywhere.
Pakunoda needs some form of soft scent to lull her to sleep. This often comes in the form of floral scents, but can branch off into other soothing smells. Her particular favourites include cedar and amber.
You wouldn’t describe what you and Pakunoda do as cuddling, per se. She treats you more like a support pillow than anything else. Arms wrapped around you tightly and chin resting upon your head.
Neither of you will be able to move an inch throughout the night. Pakunoda has a very specific pre sleep schedule that she’ll run through every night (including final bathroom breaks, cleaning and small talk) and after that, it’s lights out. It doesn’t matter if you wake up and need something: she’s out cold. You might be able to escape, if you can pry yourself out. But just know: getting back in the same position will prove twice as difficult.
Not a snorer, hell, you can hardly hear her breathing most nights. If it weren’t for the subtle rise and fall of her chest against your back, you’d question if she even was.
Up long before you are, usually has one half of the bed already made (haphazardly as not to disturb you.)
I had a lot of fun doing this one; might return to it for further Troupe members at a later date, so cheers for the ask Anon! (Little irrelevant thing I just want to mention for future reference: if any PT ask includes Hisoka or Illumi please specify as such.)
315 notes · View notes
restinslices · 4 months
Text
Everything
PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)
Word count: 2459
Summary: Ares supposedly hates kids, so it’s really strange that he comes when you call. (Do not let the summary fool you, this is not fluff. Based on a dream I had a couple days ago. Warning for possible ooc Ares and brief mentions of abuse. Blink and you’ll miss it type shit)
Tumblr media
“I don't wanna say”, Grover fingers fidgeted with each other as he purposefully avoided eye contact with you. 
“We're friends, right?”
“Of course!”
“Then you have to tell me! You spoke to my father, I gotta know what he said! What was he like? I bet he was really cool! Man, I wish I could've been there and talked to him”, you looked down at your shoes and added more misery to your face than was necessary. It was extremely childish and petty but Grover kept refusing to tell you what your father Ares was like. You had to know though. You doubted he brought you up, but you still wanted to know what he said and what he was like when he was just out and about. Grover had the opportunity to have a long talk with him and that was something you'd kill and suffer for. 
“I doubt you'd wanna do that” he mumbled, but you heard him. 
“Why'd you say that?” You asked. 
Grover refused to expound on what he meant… at first. 
Everyone knew Grover couldn't hold water so it didn't take too much prodding before he spilled his guts. 
The memory replayed in your head more than you'd like to admit, and if it were up to you, you'd no longer be a half blood. 
It made you feel pathetic. Tons of gods- no. All the gods were shitty parents. After all, they had children with mortals and left the children on Earth, knowing they'd be hunted down. Plenty of half bloods died in a gruesome painful way and at a young age. Plenty of gods never claimed their children, even if they made it to Camp Half Blood. But Ares did claim you, so you assumed that that meant he cared for you in some way. He even gifted you with a double sided sword. Surely, he must've loved you. 
You were foolish and you hated how foolish you were. You should've known he didn't care. He left you here with mortals and watched as your home life got worse and worse which was due to multiple factors including a piss poor mother and step family, the aura children of Ares give off that makes people around them experience rage and of course the random monster attacks that your family blamed you for. It was as if they thought you begged Ares to be his child. As if you'd ever do something as stupid as that. 
The rain soaked through your hood, making your hair all wet and gross. You were an idiot. You tried coming home for the school year, thinking maybe your family changed. They said they did. They tended to lie a lot though. You got into a huge fight and stormed out and you were in such a hurry that you completely forgot to grab your pouch full of drachmas and you didn't wanna step another foot in that house. So now here you were, outside with freezing cold hands that couldn't be warmed because your hoodie was soaking and you couldn't call Chiron. Perfect.
You checked your pockets once again, hoping to find something other than the lighter and fruit roll up that was there but alas, nothing magically appeared. You held the two objects in your hand and an idea formed in your mind. 
You could always set the fruit roll up on fire as an offering. You could pray to your father and hope he hears you and sends you something to help. 
No. That's incredibly stupid. Could you even light a fruit roll up on fire? It didn't matter. Not only was that the stupidest offering ever but you refused to pray to him. You'd rather sleep out in the rain then sneak inside when your family was gone to get your shit. 
You put the two objects in your pocket and let your head rest on your knees, exhaustion hitting. It wasn't even physical exhaustion. It was all mental and emotional. Like a leech was sucking on you constantly. Or a vampire. You'd prefer that. At least you'd die quicker. 
The hum of a motorcycle filled your ears, getting closer and closer. Best case scenario, it was a neighbor. Worst case scenario, it was a murderer. Honestly, you'd welcome both. 
The hum stopped and a familiar voice made you look up, “rough night”. 
It was him. Ares. God of war. Father to who knew how many. It was someone you definitely did not want to see… or so you thought. Part of you absolutely despised him now and everything to do with him and wanted to rip him apart. The other part of you though still felt an immense amount of joy when you saw him and you wanted to cling to him like a child clings to its favorite toy. If you were alone, you would've screamed. 
Then a thought crossed your mind. You didn't burn anything. You didn't make an offering. 
“You were going to” he said, seeming to read your mind. 
“Why are you here?” you managed to get out after some time of just staring at him. 
“Why do you think I'm here?” he asked and you could tell by his tone he meant it sarcastically. Like “the reason is so obvious. Stop being stupid”. 
Something about that sarcastic and irritated tone made you think back to what Grover told you. 
“Why don't you like me?” You asked and you hadn't meant to. It was supposed to stay in your head. 
He squinted his eyes at you and looked you up and down, “what?”. 
You could've let it go. You could've said nevermind, thanked him and let him help. You couldn't though. You didn't know when you'd have this chance again (the camp visited them but damn, there was a lot of you) and if you did something to make him not like you, you wanted to fix it. But that wasn't your job, right? Parents are supposed to care for their kids. 
You did that a lot. Your mind juggled opposite thoughts and it drove you insane. This was just the latest bit of juggling you'd been doing. 
“Grover said he spoke to you-”
“Who is Grover?”
“Percy's friend. The satyr”. A look of anger flashed in his eyes. You knew he remembered Percy. You didn't give him time to start yelling about the 12 year old that beat him in a fight. “Grover said that he spoke to you. I asked what it was like and he said that you said that you hate kids. Even your own. And when we visit, it's the worst day of the year. So, I was just wondering why you don't like me. Is it something I've done?”. 
Ares just rolled his eyes and sighed, “you're taking that personal?”. 
“It's kinda hard not to”. 
“I came to take you back to camp, not talk about whatever crisis you're having right now”. 
You didn't know if you were angry because of what he said, or because of his effect on others. Either way, blood started rushing to your head. “I'm not asking for a lot. I'm asking for an answer. A simple answer. Why don't you like me?”
“I don't like any of my kids”
“And that makes it better?” You asked in disbelief. Ares just stared at you, emotion void on his face. 
“Why do you do this? You keep having kids even though you hate them. Why?”. 
“It's not that simple and I don't have to explain anything to you”. You wished he'd show emotion. Any sliver of it. He was too calm, too numb. You'd prefer him yelling at you but nothing seemed to phase him. He was talking to you the same way you'd talk to a toddler. 
“It is incredibly simple. Just stop having sex with mortals. You already have Aphrodite -who is a married woman but whatever-” you rushed the last part. You didn't particularly care for the affairs between the gods. “How could your eyes possibly wander?”. 
Seeing him show a sliver of anger when you mentioned Aphrodite only filled you with more rage. That’s what angered him? That’s what got emotion out of him? “Really? That's what gets you? What about me being drenched?”
“You chose to come out here” he said through gritted teeth. If you knew Aphrodite was the key to him showing any piece of human emotion, you would've brought her up earlier. 
“I didn't choose this!” Your voice rose, “I didn't choose to be abandoned by my father and be stuck with a dysfunctional family for the rest of my life. You should be angry at that, not me mentioning Aphrodite. You should be enraged at the thought of anyone putting their hands on me and your hands should be covered in their blood! That is how it should be”. 
“Believe it or not the gods aren't too keen on the idea of killing mortals”
“But turning them into various objects and ruining their lives when it's a boring Tuesday is ok?”. His face went back to being blank and emotionless and your plan to stop talking was scrapped. You weren't even sure what you wanted. You wanted him to show something besides anger. Sadness? Regret maybe? Just something to show that maybe, just maybe, he cared deep down and regretted leaving you. 
“None of us asked for this. You all just decide to create and leave us. And you hating the people you created is… I don't know. And it's so stupid that I've spent years of my life trying to get you to be proud of me, only for it to be impossible!”. 
“I claimed you didn't I?” he defended himself, but you scoffed. 
“That's the bare minimum dad! That's like saying your kids should be grateful because you feed them!” You were full on screaming by now and you wouldn't have been surprised if a neighbor came out to see what the fuss was about. “I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you. You probably hate being called 'dad’ and you don't care. You're never gonna get it”
“I try everyday to make you see me and you do everything in your power to not see me. To not see any of us. I would work myself to death for you. I would betray anyone close to me for you. If you asked me to burn down the world for you, I would. If you asked me to extinguish the sun, I'd find a way to because to me… to me you were everything. You are everything”. 
You couldn't tell if your face was wet from the rain, or from tears of sorrow and anger. It could've been both. Your eyes certainly stung and you hated it. You knew you had every right to be frustrated, but you hated how weak it made you feel. The children of Ares weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to be headstrong and fight their enemies. They were supposed to be fierce warriors capable of bringing armies down to their knees. They were meant to shed blood, not tears. 
You thought for a second you saw an emotion cross his face. You couldn't pinpoint it though. It happened too fast and there was a good chance you were imagining things. 
“You can go. I'd rather sleep in the rain. I wouldn't wanna be even more of a burden” you spat with such venom you didn't know it was possible. Sure, you could have a bit of a temper but this felt different. It wasn't just anger or annoyance. There was a mix of grieving. 
It went silent for awhile, and the adrenaline you felt slowly went down. Reality started to sink in. You just yelled at a god. People who were known to cause destruction for something as small as “I think my shoes are better than yours”. 
“Are you gonna curse me? Or, I don't know, strangle me with my own shoe laces?”. Ares reached into his pocket and you looked away and closed your eyes. You expected to feel a burning sensation. That's what you assumed being cursed was like. A burning sensation and then you'd lose a limb or something. 
All you felt was something land on your lap. You looked down and saw a red pouch with gold string keeping it closed. You looked up at him, but he didn't say anything. You untied the string and opened the pouch and inside laid a pile of drachmas. 
Now he spoke, “call Chiron or whoever else works at that camp. Don't die out here”. 
“You're leaving?” You asked. You didn't know why you were disappointed. You should've been happy. After all, you just went off on him about how shit he was. 
“I have a busy schedule”. You wanted to ask if he'd be seeing the married woman he slept with or another unfortunate mortal, but you figured you pushed your luck enough today. 
“Thanks uhh…” you debated on calling him dad but instead you called him by his name. “Ares”. Then you remembered some gods could be particularly upset when you used their name. “God of war and all those other honorifics”. 
“Yeah” was all he said before he sped off, leaving you alone once again. You didn't know what he was saying “yeah” to but you didn't have enough time to ask and he probably wouldn't even answer. 
You called Chiron and asked to be brought back to camp but you didn't tell him about the conversation you had with Ares. 
You couldn't get the conversation out of your head, even after you showered and laid down to finally get some rest. 
Of course you kept thinking about the conversation and how lucky you were Ares didn't throw you into the street and run you over. 
Another thing stayed on your mind though. 
You didn't give an offering. You were told the gods would listen if you burned something that mattered, like the thickest piece of meat on your plate. You weren't sure they were actually listening and honestly you thought it was a real asshole condition. 
All you had was some stupid candy and you didn't even burn that and the minute you thought about it, he appeared like he was already watching. 
But you doubted he was watching. You doubted he listened to your prayers at all. 
You were one of his children which was something he hated. He'd claim you, possibly send a gift then be done with you. He didn't listen to you anymore. He didn't watch over you anymore. 
It was a coincidence. That's all it was. 
You were sure of it. 
At least, you tried to be. 
This is definitely ooc Ares but YA’LL KNOW I’M A LITTLE FUCKING SLOW! BE PATIENT WITH ME GOTDAMMIT😭 If you saw any errors, no you did not. I already proofread it once and I don’t feel like doing it again like I typically do. It’s 1am. I should be asleep.
360 notes · View notes
vaamins · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
part one.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 : hope you liked this part two. think I could’ve done better 🥹 it was originally meant to be a happy ending but I thought how would hanahaki ever have a good ending? not proofread.
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 : @creative1writings @rmanji @megumisthirdog @jiupark @rjt017 @slvt4erenx @mistymuii @legbouk @asunalinphea !!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐖𝐎𝐊𝐄 to pristine white, and a flashing light blinding your vision. You peeled your eyes open, finally registering the horrible ache in your throat that sent stabbing pain down into your chest every time you swallowed.
You only knew of blurred moments and the stark red of your blood. The only memories you could recollect of the night before. The night you had coughed up the whitest flower you’d seen in all your life, and it had come from your very stomach.
For some odd reason, the thought didn’t scare you as much as it should have. It was tantalising beautiful in a way that moved the flesh beating within your ribs.
It was a reminder of the love you would never get. The love you were dying for.
You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, finally taking notice of the room you were in. A hospital room. It’s wall’s so white they were hurting your eyes. You lay hooked to an IV ans countless other machines you didn’t know, and didn’t care for.
How had you lived? The seeding pain that had been in your throat and stomach and chest felt as if you had swallowed fire and were burning from within. You were sure you were going to die, you knew you were going to die. So how had you lived—?
The door creaked open, revealing white hair and blue eyes and a face you knew everything about, but suddenly had become so foreign to you. You had memorised the slope of his nose and the sharp outline of his cheekbones, even the light scar that lay above his right eyebrow one could only see in the dark of night.
‘‘…how are you feeling…?’’ He whispered out, taking a seat beside your bed on the sole chair there. You fiddled with your fingers, twisting the pulse oximeter that lay on your index.
‘‘i’m okay… how are you?’’ Because you had to ask. Because even in your state, you still saw the bags under his eyes and worried for him like a mother fretting over her sick child. Not that you would know much of that either.
Satoru stares at you, then the tubes attached to you and back. His eyes are wallowed in a feeling of sadness you have known all too well. ‘‘…why didn’t you tell us? Shoko? Suguru? Me?..’’
It is ironic to say the least because you know he knows the answer to his own question but he asks anyway. He wants to hear it from your lips, none else, but the regretful look in your eye is too much for him to bare.
‘‘…you know why, satoru. You know why. Don’t… make me say it.’’ You murmur, eyes glued on the view outside the window, watching as the clouds move lazily across the blue sky. It is a beautiful day, you think. One you shouldn’t be suffering on, but when had you ever been able to control the order of things?
Your response is all Satoru needs before he places his white head in his hands, his black shades falling to ground with a clank. The sound reverberates throughout the quiet room in the wake of your answer. You feel sorry. You didn’t want him to grow through such pain and regret.
‘‘…don’t blame yourself Satoru.’’
‘‘…how can I not? When I am the reason you are here? I am the reason you are dying!’’ He croaks out, tears now falling down his cheeks like crystals in the light of the sun shining through the open window. The humming of the machines beside your bed fills your head but still, your eyes are trained on his.
You smile, small and bittersweet. ‘‘It is not your fault Satoru.’’ You grab the hand that covers his eyes, slowly pulling the fingers that dig into his flawless skin away.
‘‘You could not have stopped it. Don’t feel guilty for not loving me back, that isn’t your fault. Now go and enjoy the sun, it’s a beautiful day today.’’
You urge him to leave, not that you want him to leave, no, you would’ve wanted him to stay by your side for eternity but you would never admit that. You wanted him to go and enjoy the day and not be by your doomed side.
He hesitates at the threshold of the door, turning his head back to look at you but you already turned away, your face gazing at the sun, and he wants to say you look magnificent, beautiful as the light falls on your face in just the right places but he decides against it. It would only cause more harm to an open wound. But he count help but feel as he closed the door that there was a certain sense of finality he couldn’t Brian off the situation..
You hear the door click closed, and you feel a pang in your chest. Selfishly, you didn’t want him to go. You wanted him by your side. To kiss you. To show you he loved you like how you loved him but you knew that was a fleeting dream you would never hold onto.
It was sand in your palm and it fell through the cracks between your finger and away, never to be caught again. Satoru was all the colours blended into one at full brightness to you. He was brighter than the sun to you. It was no shocker the room looked so dull after he left.
Later that day, after your friends each individually visited you, wishing you well and health. You sneaked out of your hospital room. The IV and tubes having long been taken off your arms, you walked freely for the first time in hours.
You found yourself on the roof of the hospital, a light breeze passing through the empty place. The night was beautiful, the stars twinkling ever brighter than you’d ever seen them. It was truly a sight to see.
Your eyes were glued on the dark sky, looking and searching for what? You didn’t know but you still kept looking. Maybe it was the hope you had at the beginning of all of this, that maybe you’d get better and somehow be saved, or was it the pain you’d felt from the unfairness of it all.
Suddenly, out of the blue, a cough racked your body, causing you to double over to catch your breath. You hands flew to your throat, as if to ease the coughs you knew would never stop hurting. The pain was horrible, debilitating and you couldn’t breathe.
The sharp ache in your chest intensified as you coughed up something after what felt like an eternity of coughing. Your hand came away from your mouth, stained in deep scarlet.
Lying on the floor was not a flower like how you thought it would’ve been, but two single petals. Even in the darkness, the white of one of the petals was not easily missed. Even from the patches of blood soaking it’s thin material, you could see the colour of snow on the ground. The other petal however, was the darkest black you’d ever seen.
It blended into the darkness and if the white petal had not been lying on-top of it, seemingly glued together by blood, you would’ve never noticed it.
The ache in your limbs intensified even more. The now ringing in your ears was becoming too hard to ignore and the world faded in and out in colours of grey, blue and white. You were so terribly tired.
In more ways than others, you thought as you sat down on the ground. Taking a sharp inhale that only caused you to cause more pain shooting down your chest.
You were so irrevocably tired. Tired of everything. It was no wonder when you lay on the cold surface of the rooftop, your head leaning into its coldness, finding its comfort that when you peered up st the stars, finding comfort in the millions of dots of all colours in the sky, that when you closed your eyes forever, that you closed them eternally.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
© VAAMINS 24 do not copy, repost or plagiarise my work.
212 notes · View notes
luminecent-sky · 6 days
Text
Divinely ordained
A/n: yes this is for my birthday, i mean it's also sagau sooo
I did not finish neuvi's part, feel free to request more
Tumblr media
Diluc
Did… did he just hear you right? He's your favorite?
His heart soars, he feels warm and giddy, like a hearth giving warmth to a home, it's almost too much, to hear the words again falling from your lips, reaffirming your earlier statement, before he jolted, wilting like a flower deprived of sunlight. Hadn't you once abhorred him? Ignored him for some petty reason after he had caught that glimmering golden star in his hand.
To gaze upon your flustered visage as you admit how petty and immature it had been to be angry at him for such a trivial thing… he thinks it was all worth it. Every bit of suffering and pain, the scars that marr his form, all for your gaze, your attention.
Keep looking at him like that, with that flustered gaze and those apologetic words,
Keep looking at him.
He puts a hand to block his face, hoping that the blush on his cheeks isn't that obvious —it clearly isn't working, his whole face is almost as red as his hair— that he isn't looking like a fool in front of his deity.
Both of you are just staring, tension building as the silence goes on for longer than either of you would like,
You break first, a nervous chuckle bubbling from your throat as you approach, holding his face gently, repeating yourself.
"I- i guess i can stop hating you for that… you are my favorite after all."
Ayaka
She may just die here, held in your embrace as the sun bears down on you both.
A light blush creeps its way onto her pale skin, obscured by her fan while she tries to wade through the thoughts flooding her mind.
She always knew of your favor towards her, evident in the blessings and artifacts she was bestowed with. All she is, and will ever become is for her deity. And this blatant admittance is something she will treasure forever, like the first and last falling petals of the sakura trees.
So please, if it isn't much of a bother… Please keep telling her that, keep speaking in that lovely voice, those utterly captivating words that even the Archons would beg and grovel for.
If only time could stop at this very moment.
Keep talking, keep those words of praise flowing from your divine mouth, and allow her to bask in it.
It's all she needs, all she's ever craved. What else was there in life to achieve now that she holds your favour?
You move to repeat your words, letting them wash over her like the cool stream water.
Her worries seem so far away now, all her duties pushed to the side for something that has now become a routine.
The people of inazuma can wait just this once, she has given her all to her duty, her family and the nation.
Rest has never been more alluring than now.
“...i think we can rest for just a little longer, no?”
Alhaitham
He must be dreaming, he muses, relishing in the way your breath fans his face.
After all, how else could he justify your sleepy murmurs, the serene declaration of the obvious favouritism he had witnessed directed only at him.
His day had been too good to be true, he thinks.
Kaveh had not woken him up with the usual clamour, in fact, the blonde was asleep, not in a hangover way, but honest to god asleep.
His work was also light, even if he barely did much anyways. It seemed like the universe itself decided to smile upon him and give him this.
And then he was summoned, aparently you had decided that perusing through the house of daena and looking through old tomes and various stories was the retinue for the day.
He never imagined that you would be quite interested in the old books, but as the scribe and only available person that day — never mind the fact that you had asked for him, he would never know — he supposed that his work was light enough that he could help you.
But here the both of you were, in a private room, with bookes piled up to your noses and your sweet whispers gracing his ears.
The library's curfew could be broken, just for once, just for you, he hummed,
After all who would question the creator on why they were here so late anyway?
Hours would pass and he would just sit there, admiring your face.
“I- uhh i didn't say anything embarrassing while i slept right?”
Tumblr media
138 notes · View notes
xo-cod · 9 months
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/xo-cod/729110250731520000/you-know-what-i-think-would-be-cute-if-one-of-the?source=share
will u expand on this pls?? esp w simon i love it it's SO CUTE🥰
thank you so much babe :") <33 i just did simon but i can def do the others if you'd like 🤍
continuation from here
cw: abusive past + fluff
Tumblr media
"look daddy! that's like you and mum!" her soft laugh of happiness fills his ears and for a minute he just watches her, the shock plastered on his face and then he takes a glance at the tv again. the toys he was placing away in its rightful place was forgotten as he straightened his back, watching the disney characters. they seemed so happy, so in love.
he stood still for a minute, wondering if she was being genuine as he looks back to the little girl who was giggling at him. he didn't have a healthy childhood at home and even as he entered his adult life, nothing but blood, guns and wars surrounded him.
it took him by surprised that lieutenant ghost, the man who knew little to nothing about love and happiness and peace now had a wife and a baby who was growing up in the homes he always wished he could live in as a child.
the only romantic love he could see around him was the abuse his father put his mother through, watching the light dim from her eyes everyday was a sight simon didn't think he could ever forget.
there were some scars that were seared so deep, even after time had run its course the pain was still fresh as ever. he didn't think he would ever heal from the shackles that wrapped themselves so deeply around him, burdens that he had to carry day in and day out in his life all the time. even though being with you had significantly lessened them, there were still moments that made him question everything he ever knew.
so being a father was scary but so exciting. the nerves were bundled up deep inside him, utterly worried that he wouldn't be able to love the child like they deserved. he remembered the night he paced your hospital floor while you were sleeping, full of the medications they were giving. all he could do was helplessly look at you, his heart pounding at the bundle of joy soon to be arriving. could he love them? or did the trauma from his father run incredibly deep that he'd cower away and hide? they were irrational fears, he knew that much. but it didn't help either way, he wanted to be the possible father ever. but how could he do that when he was do broken from his own?
and then his baby was born and he almost gave out, trembling when he held her tiny tiny body in one arm as the hand of the other ever so gently caressed her head. he looked at you with shock, his big brown eyes tearing as he chuckles softly. that was a sight you'd never forget. a sight he could never either
"me an' mama huh?" he spoke softly, his gaze going from the tv to back to his daughter who nods eagerly at him. she's so happy, its enough to make him emotional. because of him, she was safe and loved. because of him, a man who thought he was too damaged beyond repair, had a child who completely adored him and was living happily
she would never know a life full of abuse and suffering, he would make sure of that
he would kill for her, die for her and everything in between yet even so the small niggling voice of doubt filled his head every damn day wondering if he was cut out to be a father. would he change tomorrow, become the abusive intoxicated asshole like the man raised him was? he grew up in a world full of pain and torture and guns, happy things were far and few between.
"you little munchkin, c'mere" he teased softly, holding her in his massive arms as they both cuddle close together. she shrieks in delight when he blows soft raspberries on her cheeks and kissing her forehead. and he only looks at his baby with a look of pure unconditional love, his smile widening at every happy sound she made. even if he never got the love he deserved as a child, the love he received from you and the baby you both created was enough for him.
it was times like this, moments that he cherished so close to his heart <33
589 notes · View notes
bvidzsoo · 3 months
Text
Fine Line Of Our Worlds
Tumblr media
Author: bvidzsoo
Warnings: cursing, suggestive
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
Word count: 40,3k
Summary: Song Mingi didn't choose to become a Pirate, but after getting saved by the crew, he decided to stay. Nobody at home would miss him, they didn't like him much. However, he would miss his riches dearly, teeth always aching for gold and money. He was a little kleptomaniac, it's mostly why he was punished so often back at home. But here, with Ateez, he was free to do whatever and he loved the idea. You were also rich, very rich. You had ties to the royal family, but never said much about it since it was due to your mother's bloodline, who died giving birth to you. You were daddy's little girl, always getting whatever you wanted, never reprimanded for anything. But your life was boring, you were closed inside your mansion's walls all day long and the only people you could torment to have fun were your maids, who grew tired of your antics. Let's not forget the fact that you also loved stealing. It started out as a little talent of yours when you were just a child, but growing up you realized it became a very unconscious habit. And one night, Mingi seemed to come into your life just at the right moment, sweeping your off your feet, quite literally, and taking you onto a Pirate ship, your fates interlacing forever. (Reader is called Yoon Areum in the following oneshots.)
A/N: Oh, my God, my lovelies!!! I swear to GOD this was NEVER supposed to be this long I can't believe I wrote something THIS long, like I'm CRYING TEARS OF JOY. This is the longest and biggest oneshot I've EVER written and oh my God, idk what to do with myself anymore. I am so so curious what you all will think of it, so please, let me know your thoughts about this monster of a fic lol! I am really sorry for the super long wait for this part, but I believe nothing is accidental, and the timing is perfect for this fic as I'm sure months ago this story wouldn't have turned out like this, because I wasn't so feral for Song Mingi back then, LOL. Check out the previous parts if you haven't already, as they are tightly woven together! I hope you enjoy, and happy reading now!
Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329 @icarusignite @cooljuni @sharksandminhos @mountiiny
Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part
Tumblr media
            The light padding of feet echoed around in the quiet room as I pressed my head further against the pillow, irritated by the sudden disturbance. Then, the ring of a small bell and the sound of curtains being drawn apart, and a blinding light, which flooded my grandeur room. I groaned loudly and pulled the thick covers over my shivering form, eyebrows furrowing when that damned ringing wouldn’t stop. Who would dare interrupt my beauty sleep? Who would dare wake me up from a dream where a charming prince was just about to confess his everlasting love for me?!
“Miss Yoon, it’s almost noon,” A soft voice called out, the ringing of the bell finally gone, “Your father inquired about your whereabouts.”
I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut tighter, burying my head into the pillow even more. I didn’t want to get out of bed. It was so warm and comfortable. I wanted to sleep all day long and dream about a prince, which would finally whisk me away from this place and treat me like the royalty I am. Well…the royalty I would have been if my mother didn’t die and cause a rift between our family and hers. Certainly her being third cousin with the Queen would’ve granted us a spot in the palace. I would’ve very much liked that. To be pampered all day long with expensive things, living a lavished life without having to worry about anything. What a life that would’ve been. Instead, I was stuck in a golden decorated mansion where I suffered of bored all day long, and top of that, my two maids were incompetent too. If only father would sometimes listen to me…we wouldn’t be here still.
“Miss Yoon,” Another quiet voice said, “your father’s friends will be arriving soon, he doesn’t want you to miss greeting them.”
“I couldn’t care less about my father’s friends!” I hissed, sitting up abruptly, glaring at my two maids. They were shorter than me, and skinnier, their clothes clinging to their bodies in an uncomfortable way. I have offered some of my dresses to them, but them being ungrateful, refused to take them. If a warm-hearted woman like myself offered me a dress made of silk and littered with gems, I wouldn’t even think about refusing it. Not everyone was as generous as myself, the thought made me roll my eyes.
“Miss Yoon,” The blonde maid, Soyeon, said, “Sir Yoon asked me to let you know that the friends would be here in an hour.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that I wouldn’t get out of bed, but the black-haired maid, Soojin, cut me off before I could make a sound, “Your bath will get cold, Miss Yoon.”
I scoffed and leaned back into my pillows, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “I’m not getting out of bed today, get lost, you two.”
The maids said nothing as they fidgeted around, glancing at each other. I closed my eyes and hummed contently as my muscles grew soft once again, allowing the bed’s warmth to wrap me in a cocoon of comfort and serenity, which of course, didn’t last for long as one of the maid’s cleared their throat very quietly.
“Your breakfast will also get cold, Miss Yoon—”
“Fine!” I exclaimed and sat up with a glare, huffing as I threw the covers off myself, “Are you happy now?”
Before they could say anything, I got out of bed, almost tripping in the sheet as it had fallen to the floor, making the maids gasp as I quickly stood up straight, narrowing my eyes at them. They quickly looked away and I tsked, pulling the hair out of my eyes as I stepped into my fluffy slippers, and stormed past the two pathetic women, headed for my spacious bathroom. The walls and floor were a dark green marble, my favorite color, and the big window was opened to allow fresh air inside. The breeze was warm as I let my silky nightgown slip down my body, and I quickly got inside the bathtub which was decorated with golden accents, my father had made it specifically for me. I heard my maids hurrying inside the bathroom as I lowered myself further down in the warm water, wetting my hair and washing my eyes as I got above the surface, Soojin with the soap and sponge in her hands as she approached me. She didn’t look in my eyes as she started washing my body, and I rolled my eyes as Soyeon finally showed up with my breakfast.
I was starving.
Pancakes with maple syrup and blackberries were my favorite breakfast, our personal chef certainly knows me well. It’s like he read my mind that I was craving something sweet, but healthy, today.
“Are you going to wait until the night comes upon us?” I deadpanned as I looked at Soyeon, leaning forward when Soojin tried to wash my back without saying anything. Stupid girl, she couldn’t even use her mouth for a simple request.
“Apologies, Miss Yoon.” Soyeon slightly bowed her head and came near, getting on her knees to be at a more comfortable angle. I smiled at her widely as she raised the fork up towards my lips, pancake and blueberry on it. She certainly knew how I liked eating my favorite breakfast. I hummed as I closed my eyes and chewed the food, my mood instantly getting better. These two girls could perform their duties really well, they just needed little scolding and motivation from time to time. I sighed in contentment as Soyeon continued feeding me while Soojin thoroughly washed my body, not an ounce of grime on my skin. I hated being dirty, on rather hot days I would even bathe twice a day. The opened window allowed the warm breeze to waft inside, the crashing of the waves distant, but strong enough to be heard as our mansion was rather close to the beach. Once I was done with my breakfast, Soyeon handed me my cup filled with tea and I took a few sips, washing down the food, and enjoying the minty taste of it.
“Miss Yoon,” Soojin spoke up hesitantly as she washed my hair, voice quiet, “I overheard your father talking about a ball this morning—”
“A ball?!” I exclaimed, eyes shooting open as I sat up straight in the bathtub. A little water splashed over, Soyeon’s eyes stuck to it as she sighed quietly.
“It’s nothing certain, Miss Yoon, I don’t even know when it’ll be.” Soojin quickly explained, regret in her voice. If my father didn’t want me to know about it, then he had bad luck, because my loyal maids always told me everything that happened outside of my room’s doors.
“Soyeon, pick out my prettiest dress and prepare it for the ball!” I demanded, hissing when Soojin pulled on my scalp harshly with the towel. She quickly apologized and I rolled my eyes, Soyeon seeming lost as she looked at me before looking at Soojin.
“We don’t know when the ball will take place—”
“I said, prepare my dress for the ball.” I raised my eyebrows at her, daring her to disobey me. Soyeon quickly nodded as Soojin wrapped my hair in the towel, stepping aside to search for the one for my body. It was next to Soyeon, and she was quick to help out her fellow maid as she handed the towel to Soojin. I grinned with distaste, unimpressed by how eager they always were to help each other out. Yet, they would never helped me out, unless I demanded it. Two faced little demons is what they were, “Help me out.”
My voice was sweet as I raised my hand, halting Soojin’s movements. Soyeon’s eyes fell on me and I let a slow smile stretch onto my lips, eyebrows raised. She hesitated as she glanced at Soojin briefly, before taking a reluctant step towards me. I delicately raised my left arm too, barely placing my hand on Soyeon’s open palm. I didn’t necessarily like holding dirty things with my hands. I stood up and allowed Soyeon to guide me to my feet, eyes staying on my face as I stood naked in front of the two girls. I felt Soojin step closer from behind and wrap the towel around myself, my fingers tightening around Soyeon’s hand, a smirk forming on my lips. She looked down uncomfortably and that just allowed my next move to be easier than I thought it would be. I forcefully tugged on Soyeon’s hand, and suddenly, she was falling towards me with a loud cry. I released her hand as she fell in the bathtub, splashing water all over the floor and on the towel around my body. My amused expression dropped as I looked down at the girl with disgust, hand still in the air. She was gasping for air as she tried to get her hair out of her face, Soojin standing to the side with a shocked expression. When I glanced at her, she pressed her hands against her mouth and I rolled my eyes, stepping out of the bathtub. They certainly looked pathetic right now.
“Perhaps that taught you not to question when I say something, Soyeon.” My voice was cold as I turned around and took off towards the door, halting in the doorway, “Go get changed quickly, do you think Soojin is capable of braiding my hair the way I like it?”
“Yes, Miss Yoon, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Soyeon’s voice quivered as she hauled herself out of the bathtub, Soojin rushing to her side to help her out. I rolled my eyes and walked back inside my room, sitting at my vanity table as I looked out the window, a peculiar ship appearing on the horizon as it seemed to sail. Whether if it was coming towards our Kingdom or departing from it, I couldn’t tell, and I wondered what type of people were on it. Sailors, perhaps? But they were too far away from the shore, it couldn’t have been them. Or perhaps it was a merchant ship. Or maybe the Navy’s fleet. Oh, how handsome those soldiers were. Especially Lieutenant Kim. Pity he wasn’t rich or from an influential family, I would’ve long married him if that were the case, and of course, if my father wasn’t so overprotective of his little daughter. He barely let me out of his sight, even at my fragile age of nineteen. He was scared his little girl would get whisked away by some handsome man, and oh, how I wished for that to happen. But with my father always breathing down my neck and monitoring each step of mine, none of that was happening anytime soon. He had always thought his little friends were better, more mature, more respectful. But when he wasn’t looking our way, those old grimy men would send me flirty looks and whisper sweet nothings about a life lived in posh if I were to accept their proposals. But that’s not what I needed, nor wanted.
I wanted someone good looking. Someone, who was tall with sharp features and demanding eyes that made my heart race wildly. Someone, who made me forget my own name. Someone, who fell so madly in love with me that he’d worship the ground I walked on. That’s what I needed, and tons of money, of course, not some sticky fingers and fat old men who only wanted to taint my innocence. They thought they were sleek, but I was even sleeker. My eyes fell on the expensive watch placed on display on my vanity, making me chuckle to myself as I reached for it, tracing the leather with a finger. Lord Lee was still looking for it, pity he’d never ever again find it. I smirked as I reached over and opened my little chest filled with all the shiny goods I stole, although I prefer calling them borrowed, from my father’s business partners and friends. The floorboard creaking from behind made me look up, and through the mirror I saw Soojin walking inside my room, holding a pale blue dress. My eyebrows furrowed and I turned in my seat, tsking.
“Is that what you want me to wear to the ball?” My tone was snappy and skeptical as it made Soojin pause, eyes averted as she remained silent, “You can burn that old rag, I won’t wear it ever again.”
“Yes, Miss Yoon.” Soojin’s voice was small and as I continued looking at her, I could see the yearning in her eyes as her grip tightened around the fabric. I scoffed and faced my mirror again, Soyeon finally walking back inside, her clothes dry and hair disheveled as her eyes were red. God, this stupid girl had been crying again. These two maids were so sensitive, it was embarrassing at this point, “God, you two are so pathetic. I wonder why my father keeps you around still. I should just get a competent maid like the Queen has at her Palace.”
There was silence as Soyeon walked over, grabbing an oily lotion and putting it on her hands before she massaged it into my smooth hair, making me sigh in content as I closed my eyes. The floorboard creaked again and I figured Soojin was on her way to pick out a new dress, “You want to keep that old rag?”
Soyeon paused for a second before I felt her grabbing the brush from my vanity, making me open my eyes and hiss when the brush got tangled in the knots in my hair. I gave her a glare through the mirror as she bit her lower lip, embarrassed. If she cries another time I’d rather just jump out the window right now and save myself of this clownery.
“I cannot accept anything that was once Miss Yoon’s—”
“Oh, Lord,” I muttered with a groan, glaring at Soojin through the mirror, “Just keep that wrenched dress, nobody will have your head for it! I’m letting you wear it. Do you need anyone else to give you permission to do so?”
Soojin shook her head as she averted her eyes, and I hummed, settling back in my seat as Soyeon finally started braiding my hair, “Good, then stop whining and asking for attention and keep it.”
“Miss Yoon, your generosity is unlimited.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes at Soojin’s obvious flattery.
“Of course, it is.” I muttered and watched Soyeon through the mirror as my other maid disappeared back inside my huge closet filled with pretty dresses to the brim. Soyeon kept sniffing and avoiding eye contact as my stare turned insistent, but her hands worked diligently as she braided my hair the way I liked it. My curly hair was long as it reached the middle of my back and dense, making it hard for everyone but Soyeon to maneuver it any way she wanted to. Two curly front pieces were left alone to frame my face as the braided the rest from the sides, creating the impression of a small crown in my hair. She usually put gemstones in it and left the rest hang freely against my shoulders after she ruffled it up to make it fluffier looking. When she was done with my hair, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and threw her a glare, watching as her body visibly tensed.
“Did I mess up, Miss Yoon? Do you not like your hair?” Her voice was squeaky and I huffed.
“At least look me in the eyes when you speak to me, brat.” I snapped and Soyeon quickly looked up, her eyes filled with tears. I groaned loudly at her theatrics and leaned forward, opening my chest of stollen, borrowed, goods. The first pearl necklace that my eyes fell on belonged to a maiden from a charity event, and I grinned as I grabbed it, raising it up to my eyes to inspect it from up closer. Soyeon watched me through the mirror and I stood, turning around. I was almost two heads taller than her, “Take it and stop being a cry-baby. But don’t let my father know or he’ll have your hands for stealing it.”
“Is this—not yours, Miss Yoon?” Soyeon asked reluctantly as Soojin walked back inside the room, holding a gorgeous sage green dress that once belonged to my mother. I grinned as she raised the dress up, my eyes drinking in the lace and small flower designs on it. It would be perfect for the ball; I couldn’t wait to wear it now.
“Of course, it’s not mine, Soyeon. Do I wear such cheap jewelry such as this?” I chuckled and pressed the pearl necklace forcefully into my maid’s hands. These two knew about my little hobby of stealing from others, but I made them swear to never tell my father as he’d certainly punish me for doing such lowly things, and forbid me from going to balls and tea parties with the ladies from the neighboring houses. I couldn’t let that happen, I was already bored and dying every day in this boring mansion surrounded by servants and my father. I needed something which would bring life in me, excite me and show me what the world consisted of.
“I cannot accept this—”
“I said, take it, and stop crying so much.” I huffed and walked away, watching as the maid struggled not to drop the pearl necklace, “Get lost, now, I will change on my own.”
And it didn’t take long for the two maids to scramble out of my room, leaving me alone as I sighed loudly and walked inside my dressing room. The curtains were drawn but I opened them as I stared out the window again, longingly watching the ship in the distance as I grabbed my stockings to wear over my undergarments. What would a life on the sea feel like?
            After wearing a soft pink dress and making sure I looked presentable, I made my way to the gardens to greet my father first before we walked to the little fountain where his friends were gathered around, laughing about something inaudible to us. I plastered on my sweetest smile as my father gripped my arm slightly tighter, signaling that I should stand up even straighter. I chuckled, but cursed him in my head as the corset I was wearing was already constricting enough. If I stood any straighter it would dig into my flesh and make it bleed by the evening, but I obliged to my father’s wish as Mr. Lee noticed us and grinned like a Chesire cat. I hated that ugly man. He was always eating something, his fingertips greasy because of it, and he was greedy. All he saw were the assets he placed into something and how even the smallest business could bring more money to him. My father was blind to his schemes of trying to rob us, but thankfully, his smart little daughter was always there to convince him against doing business with Mr. Lee, and thus saving our legacy.
“Mr. Yoon!” Sir Oh exclaimed, an obnoxious and quite annoying man, waving happily towards us, “Lovely sunshine, we thought you’d never make it here today.”
The man around him laughed and I chuckled, although I wished to spit at them and press their heads under the water of the fountain. I hated it when they called me any names, and certainly Sir Oh was my least favorite as he found a stupid new nickname to call me by for each time he came to visit us.
“Friends, it’s been a while, hasn’t it been?” My father asked with a chuckle as he patted my hand, then released me, finally. It’s been exactly two weeks since these idiots have seen each other, yet they were being more dramatic about it than me and my tea party ladies would ever be.
“It certainly has been.” Mr. Yu, perhaps the man I hated most as he was quite unashamed with his advances towards me, and he was hitting the age of fifty. Who wanted a scrawny old man good for nothing but reading his newspaper and crying about the weather? Certainly not me, “Miss Yoon, just as beautiful as always.”
I chuckled as I masked my disgust, plastering on a fake smile, “You flatter me, Mr. Yu.”
My father chuckled and beckoned everyone over to the round table, asking us to sit down. I certainly did not want to be here and entertaining these fools, but I had no choice but to appease my father as he promised to buy me a ruby sometime next week, if I behaved well today. My little gemstone collection hadn’t been updated in long, it certainly was about time I got something new and shiny. A diamond would’ve been better, but my father said he couldn’t find one in our region just yet—how tragic. Before my father could sit, he seemed to remember something and he quickly excused himself, hurrying back towards the house. He left me alone with the wolves, and I remained collected as I watched his friends eyes taking me in closely. I chuckled and leaned back in my chair, folding my arms over my chest. It didn’t help that the corset was already pushing up my breasts, sitting uncomfortable due to the metal digging into my waist.
“Lovely weather today, isn’t it, Mr. Yu?” I spoke up disinterested, but the men didn’t seem to notice as he went off about how the weather was lovely, the breeze just perfect, and the waves not too harsh if anyone wanted to go for a swim. And of course, the sun was just perfectly hot today, not strong enough to burn your skin, but enough to leave a nice tan. Good thing I didn’t expose much of myself, then.
“Any charming men on the horizon, Miss?” Sir Oh inquired with a small laugh, but it was easy to see the curiosity on his face as he leaned forward in his seat, eyes twinkling. Of course, to men like him it didn’t matter that a wife and three children were waiting for him to return home. All he cared about was young flesh for a night, something to satiate his needs and reassure him that he’s still got in him, that he was still capable of charming ladies left and right. It was sad how Sir Oh failed to notice that it was just his money drawing in clueless ladies, ready to extort him of it. It was rather hilarious, yet disgusting at the same time.
“Tell me, Sir Oh, what can you see on the horizon?” I raised my eyebrows as all three men across me turned their heads towards the sea, which was perfectly visible from our veranda overlooking it. I didn’t have to look to know that the ship was still there. I smirked as they remained silent, telling that they didn’t know more than I did.
“You must have surely heard of pirates before, Miss Yoon.” Mr. Lee said mystically, head turning to look me in the eyes, “There’s rumor that Ateez had sailed close to our shores—”
“Ah, nonsense!” Mr. Yu exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed, “There’s no such thing as those dirty criminals nearing our shores. The Navy fleet will take them out in no second!”
“I wouldn’t bet too much on that, Mr. Yu.” Mr. Lee chuckled, his eyes traveling back onto the sea. Intrigued, I also looked towards the sea, eyes finding the ship in the distance. Pirates, they say? Doesn’t that sound exciting? I grinned as I imagined what they must look like and what they might want from our humble town. Surely if they were looking for our Queen, then they were in the wrong spot. Our Queen was miles away from us, unfortunately.
“Are these so-called pirates dangerous?” I asked with feigned ignorance, and Mr. Lee snorted as if I had asked a hilarious question. I refrained from glaring at him as I turned my head to face the men again.
“Dangerous?! Pray they never find a young woman like yourself and ravage you.” My glare was instant as I didn’t even try to hide it, jaw clenching at Mr. Lee’s blatant offensive remark. He had no shame, it was disgusting.
“Mr. Lee!” Sir Oh exclaimed, looking alarmed, “Apologize to Miss Yoon, right now!”
Mr. Yu looked just as appalled, acting as if he hadn’t tried sleeping with me not even one week ago. It still made my skin crawl as I bit back a snarl, raising my eyebrows at Mr. Lee.
“My apologies, Miss Yoon, that was harsh—”
“It merely mirrors your own thoughts, Mr. Lee.” I cut him off with a spiteful glare and the men looked shocked for a second as my face morphed into pure hatred, “You all act like saints in front of my father, and then you try to have your way with me behind his back. Pathetic, especially if your wives were to know.”
The men remained gaping as I stood up, plastering on a wide smile when I heard the clanking of cups against a tray coming from behind. My father must’ve gone back to ask the servants to bring tea and cookies. The three men in front of me struggled to gathered themselves and fix their expressions, but when my father appeared next to me, they quickly did so. I gave them a look before turning to face my father.
“Papa, all this sitting in the sun is making me feel lightheaded,” I made my voice sound soft and weak as I pouted, grabbing my father’s hand, “Would you mind if I were to excuse myself?”
“My dear, not at all!” He exclaimed and pressed a palm against my forehead alarmed, “You’re burning up, head inside quickly!”
“Thank you, papa.” I pressed a kiss against my father’s cheek and he squeezed my hand reassuringly before turning to face a servant, Shindong.
“Please, walk my daughter back to her room.” My father instructed softly, “Make sure she has enough water and ask the cook to prepare soup for her. Let her maids know about her early return too, Shindong. Thank you.”
The servant bowed his head and extended a hand towards me, prompting me to hold his gloved hand as he helped me away from the chair and around the table. I knocked my leg into the foot of Mr. Yu’s chair as I passed behind him, acting as if I stumbled a bit. I leaned down and grabbed a silver spoon from the ground, which obviously wasn’t there but I had grabbed it off the tray before Shindong could realize, and pretended to pick it up.
“Mr. Yu, when did you drop this?” I asked with confusion as I held the spoon in my hand, eyebrows furrowed. Minhyuk, the servant who was setting the table looked alarmed for a second, counting the spoons on the table and the ones still on his tray, looking lost as he looked at the one I was holding. I tried to bite down my smirk, amused by their confusion as to how the spoon landed on the ground when one hadn’t even been served to Mr. Yu yet.
“Oh, thank you, dear.” Our fingers touched and I suppressed the shiver threatening to shake my body, Shindong gingerly holding my hand as I bowed my head lightly, swiftly pulling my hand back from Mr. Yu’s. My father shooed Shindong and I away, and I happily obliged as the servant walked us back towards the house, my fist hidden behind my back as the weight of a silver ring laid heavily in my hand. Away from everyone, I allowed the smirk to finally plaster on my face as I yanked my hand out of Shindong’s, raising the silver ring up Mr. Yu had on his finger a few seconds ago. Shindong gave me a small glance, but remained silent as he lead the way back to my room, telling me that Soojin and Soyeon would be soon here if I needed anything. I entered my room without saying anything, inspecting the huge ruby molded into the silver. I didn’t have to wait another week to get my hands on a ruby, after all. Maybe Mr. Yu was good for something.
            The day seemed to drag on after I returned to my room, jumping on my fluffy bed face down and groaning loudly as the waves crashing against the rocks echoed inside my room through the opened window. It was indeed a lovely day and I found myself craving to go on a walk, but with my father’s friends here, I couldn’t go, because my father never allowed me to leave the mansion without him by my side. I could’ve gone with one of the servants, or even guards, but he never trusted them enough to let me out with them. Or maybe Shindong had snitched on me after the few rare occasions I was allowed to go outside with the guards as I have disappeared for a few hours. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, so I didn’t understand their distress and my father’s anger and concern when he came storming inside my room and yelling at me that I was to stay in my room for the next week. It was horrible, but with the help of my maids, I did manage to sneak out to the gardens every night, laying in the soft grass and gazing at the bright stars, daydreaming about a life where a rich prince whisked me away on his white horse. The reason why I even disappeared for a few hours was simple, and many would’ve laughed at it, not punished their child for it. I just wanted to buy some pastries and roam the cobblestone covered roads of our buzzing town, later headed to the beach to take a quick swim. But my father couldn’t look past his worry and anger to realize that I was merely craving some fun and freedom from his close watch.
But I knew how to use my father’s friends being here to my advantage, and after changing into a dress lighter than the one I wore in the morning, I tied my hair in a low bun and sneaked out of my room. There were few times when I was allowed to read whatever that wasn’t essential to my education, and so I skipped my way towards the library, hiding from the servants who’d roam the halls as they were headed to their duties. I knew if Shindong saw me he’d snitch to my father, that loyal bastard. He was very good at his job, but perhaps too good as he was my father’s second eyes, never failing to notice any missteps I had taken. At least he was smart enough to keep it to himself when he caught me borrowing goods from others. I knew my maids were looking for me, Soyeon’s desperate calls quiet as they carried down the empty hallways, prompting me on to do better and hide so that they wouldn’t find me. And my plan of reading in the library from the forbidden section, which were actually my mother’s most favorite romance novels, turned into me playing hide and seek with my very desperate sounding maids as they ran mindlessly up and down the hallways, searching every room as I stood hidden behind curtains, trying to contain my giggles. However, my fun was short lived when Minhyuk easily found me, his lips pulled into an amused smile. He was barely twenty-five and we were never allowed to be in the same chambers on our own, but my father was apparently looking for me, and Minhyuk was the first one to find me. I stuck my tongue out at him as he lead the way towards my father’s study room, ushering me inside with a chuckle when I threw him a glare.
“You had called for me, papa?” I asked with a sweet smile, voice soft as it carried around in the quiet room. My father hummed as his eyes raised from the map he was inspecting, suddenly looking tired. His foolish friends must’ve tired him out with their stupid stories.
“Did you happen to see a silver ruby ring, by chance, my dear?” My eyebrows furrowed as I jutted my lower lips out innocently, and shook my head no, “I understand, thank you, my dear. Mr. Yu swears he lost his ring here somewhere, but we both know that man is just simply forgetful.”
“And old and ugly.” I muttered under my breath with a sneer, which was quickly gone when my father looked at me with raised eyebrows. I fixed my expression and smiled sweetly at him.
“Oh, papa, don’t you wish to go on a walk with your dear daughter?” I asked as I walked closer to him, letting my hand rest on his as I leaned against his sturdy desk, “We’ve still got a few hours before sunset, it would be lovely to take a walk on the beach. You look tired, the fresh and warm breeze will do you good, papa.”
My father smiled and hummed, turning his hand around to grab mine in his, squeezing our hands together, “You are just as bewitching as your mother once was, my dear. But I must refuse your proposal, I’m afraid.”
“But papa—” My whiney voice got cut off by my father’s chuckle, shaking his head as he released my hand and pushed his chair back.
“You didn’t let me finish, my dear.” He grinned as a mischievous look appeared on his face, making my eyebrows raise in curiosity, “We’ve been invited to Mrs. Boo’s ball, you might want to get ready for that—”
I squealed loudly as I leaped at my father and pressed a kiss against his cheek, twirling around in his spacious study as my heartbeat quickened. So my stupid maids were right, after all! And I didn’t even have to wait much more until we’d get to attend the ball, this was like a blessing, “Papa! I must get ready then! It’s been too long since we’ve been to a ball—and oh, the balls organized by Mrs. Boo are always so—majestic.”
My father chuckled as he listened to me ranting, just nodding his head as I hurried towards his door, “See you before sunset, father. I shall be ready by then!”
“You better or else you’ll be staying here.” His threat was empty, but I still pretended to be scared as I clumsily saluted him, making my father laugh as I left his study in a hurry, running down the hallways to reach my room as fast as I could.
“Soojin! Soyeon!” I shouted as I passed by the kitchens, where these two seemed to spend most of their time if they weren’t with me, “I’m going to a ball tonight!”
            And the preparations for the ball took time, because everything had to be perfect. Even the curls in my hair had to sit perfectly, enhanced by Soyeon as we decided to let my hair fall freely tonight, barely braiding a few strands at the sides, which she clipped back so that the front pieces would frame my face nicely, enhancing my sharp cheekbones. Soojin helped by adding blush to my cheeks, which looked absolutely lovely as it complimented by sun kissed complexion and the lip tint was a dark cherry color, making my lips pop with color. A little bit of glitter had been added to my eyelids and I stood proudly in my dressing room, twirling around in front of the big mirror, admiring the way the sage green dress complemented my frame and skin complexion. The skirt was big and made me feel like a princess, the corset underneath tightly pulled together to keep my posture straight at all times. It got restricting after a while, lungs feeling like they were compressed, but I sucked it up and plastered on a smile despite the growing discomfort if I had to sit rather than stand. The top of the dress was off-shoulders and had long, loose sleeves, and the fabric around my breasts was held together by strings, similar to my corset as lace decorated the surface of it. With sunset nearing, and feeling pleased by my appearance, I headed to the front gates of the mansion, and got inside our little carriage as my father was already there and waiting for me. His eyes widened when I sat across from him and they filled with tears, making me confused as my first thought was that I didn’t look sufficiently good enough for tonight’s ball. I adjusted the golden necklace around my neck uncomfortably, waiting for my father to speak up first.
“You look stunning, my dear.” He whispered before sniffing loudly, looking out the window of the carriage, “Your mother wore this dress the day we met—I didn’t even know you had it.”
I cleared my throat and shrugged, looking down at my hands, “I had visited her chambers not too long ago. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not, my dear.” My father quickly reassured me as he reached out for my hand, “She would absolutely love seeing you wearing it, and I am happy as well. You truly did inherit all of her beauty.”
I chuckled as I became shy, lightly bowing my head in gratitude, “In that case, I can’t wait to meet my own rich husband, soon, hopefully.”
My father’s face became grim and he hummed, looking all of a sudden disinterested in the conversation. Of course he did, he always did this when I brought up the subject of husband or even just a simple suitor, “Focus on your studies for now, my dear. Men come and go, but your virtue stays.”
“You always say that, papa.” I mumbled with a sigh and my father tsked.
“A lady does not mumble; she speaks well and clearly. And I always say that because I know what men are like, and until the day you find a man who’s worthy of you, I shall continue deterring the bad wolves away from my little princess. Understand, my dear?”
I hummed with a pout and looked at my father with slight irritation, unable to slump against the plush seat of the carriage due to the corset I was wearing, “Yes, I do, papa. I hear this at least twice a week.”
“Very well,” My father looked amused as he retreated his hand from mine and sat back with a pleased expression, “It means you’ll never forget it.”
And I had remained silent as the carriage finally took off, and for the rest of the ride as well. I couldn’t say that I was mad at my father, but I could still resent him a little bit for keeping me away from every man that I showed even the slightest interest in me. It seemed like nobody was worthy enough. And even when they were, my father somehow managed to find some dirt about them and scare them away, consoling me that he was only showing me the dark side, the secrets these suitors were trying to hide from me. But perhaps, if my father allowed them enough time to stick around for longer, they would’ve told me themselves of these missteps they have taken along the way. Nobody was perfect, despite my desires to believe so, and as long as they had enough money, I could overlook some of their flaws.
The carriage ride didn’t take too long as Mrs. Boo and her family lived quite close to us. I could hear the music from outside the gates already as we have finally stopped moving, and got out of the carriage. My father helped me down and then crossed his arm with mine, keeping me close to himself so that I wouldn’t slip away. I knew it would take only a few glasses of champagne for me to be able to do so anyways, perhaps even faster if the people he knew came over to talk to my father. Most of the times they talked about things that were none of my concerns, and therefore I was allowed to roam around the place as long as my father could see me. And I did just that as we entered the marble covered vast chamber of Mrs. Boo’s family, her ballroom. It was spectacular, like every time, decorated in burgundy and golden accents. It screamed prestige and money, and I was pleased to see that I was the best dressed out of all the young ladies attending the ball tonight. It always brought pleasure and pride to me when I was the prettiest at these events, and it was only proven right when I noticed the jealousy in the other ladies eyes as my father and I walked by them. I grinned at them and mockingly waved, curling my fingers before ignoring them completely. We were barely inside, yet my father already had a glass of champagne in his hands as we were headed towards Mrs. Boo to greet her and thank her for inviting us. I put on my best smile as we arrived in front of her, her puffy cheeks disturbingly pink. Her makeup choices had always been questionable.
“Oh, Mr. and Miss Yoon.” She said delighted as she clapped her hands once, “Lovely seeing you made it.”
“My daughter would have had my head if I dared skipping tonight’s ball.” My father said cordially and I refrained from rolling my eyes.
“The decoration is marvelous, Mrs. Boo, you never fail to amaze me.” I complimented the woman, knowing how much she liked hearing such words. Besides, I knew it meant I would get invited to her next tea party and that was exactly what I was hoping for.
“Thank you, lovely.” She chuckled as she looked past us, her eyes narrowing slightly before she composed her expression quickly. It didn’t take long to realize it was because her son was coming over, face a constant mask of judgement. The two of us had nothing against each other, Seungkwan could be a pleasant companion if he put in a little effort, but otherwise the man was too nagging and posh for my taste. He couldn’t even pull the chair out for himself, let alone for his lover.
“Ah, Junior.” My father chuckled as Seungkwan came to a stop next to his mother, and he released my arm to shake Seungkwan’s hand. I smiled as Seungkwan kissed my hand next, curtsying to him in return.
“It’s been a while, Miss Yoon.”  He said cordially and I hummed, smile fixed on my face.
“Indeed, I see you’re just as healthy as always.” I noted, and Seungkwan’s mother laughed as she patted her son’s shoulder.
“Of course, he is. There isn’t a day my boy doesn’t eat his vegetables.” I nodded in understanding, but didn’t miss the way Seungkwan almost rolled his eyes, “Mr. Yoon, should we leave the young ones alone? I’m not sure you have met Sir Bae yet, father of the Navy fleet’s commandant?”
My father’s eyes widened and he threw me one small glance before he was agreeing to walk with Mrs. Boo, interested in expanding his friend and business list. I scoffed and stepped next to Seungkwan, facing the crowd as we both looked at the dancing people in front of us.
“He’s still breathing down your neck?” Seungkwan asked, finally dropping that irritatingly sweet tone of his. I chuckled and crossed my arms in front of my chest, stealing a grape first from the tray next to me on the table.
“Obviously, I should buy your mother something generous for always seemingly stealing him away at balls like these.” Seungkwan threw me an amused glance before stealing a grape from my hand. I threw him a glare and quickly ate the rest.
“Of course she does. She keeps saying you’ll never find a man if he keeps breathing down your neck.” I chuckled and turned to face Seungkwan.
“And how right she is,” I pinched his cheek teasingly, making him snap my hand away, “Did she play matchmaker again? Where’s your lady for the night?”
“Don’t say it like that,” Seungkwan looked uncomfortable as I chuckled and smirked at him, “She thankfully didn’t have the time to find anyone for the ball, so I’m on my own tonight.”
“Poor you.” I teased and Seungkwan threw me a swift glare as suddenly a man was headed our way. My heart skipped a beat as I straightened my stance, and plastered on a sweet smile on my lips, eyes falling on the tall body of Lieutenant Kim. His body was adorned in his uniform, form lean and strong as the well-worked muscles bulged through the fabric just slightly. His short black hair was swept back, leaving his forehead on display, and I tried to hide my blush at the dashing smile he sent our way. His canines poked through and his cherry-red lips looked soft, complimenting his gorgeous tan skin. Kim Mingyu was a dreamy man, hardworking, and dedicated. He was respectful and extremely smart, and quick on his feet. Every man envied him. He could have anyone he wanted, yet he chose to dedicate his life to the Navy—after I turned him down. Many had called me crazy, but my father was glad. He said Mingyu wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be, and even if that were true, that wasn’t the reason I didn’t want to marry him. Despite his looks and personality, he never actually managed to sweep me off my feet. He never stole my breath away, and he never made me yearn for him. And if love wasn’t like that, I didn’t want it. And I wouldn’t stop until I found this type of love, ethereal, everlasting.
“Good evening,” Kim Mingyu bowed his head, making Seungkwan chuckle, “Mr. Boo. Miss Yoon.��
I giggled quietly when he grabbed my hand with his big one, pressing a lasting kiss against my knuckles as he held eye contact, making Seungkwan scoff next to us.
“The girl rejected you once, Mingyu, what are you doing?” Seungkwan teased his best friend lightly and I chuckled embarrassed, subtly elbowing the man in the ribs. Mingyu had a similar blush on his cheeks to mine as he cleared his throat and threw a warning glare at his friend.
“I’m merely greeting her the way a man is supposed to, Seungkwan, jealous?” The banter between the two was natural, their love language full of teasing and nagging each other.
“You wish I were.” Seungkwan chuckled and whisked away three glasses of champagne from a tray as a servant passed by with it. I made sure my father wasn’t looking as I accepted one, clanking my glass against the other two men’s.
“How are you feeling tonight, Miss Yoon?” Mingyu looked at me and I hummed, looking over the dancing crowd, an idea occurring in my mind. I looked back at the tall man with a grin and pressed my glass of champagne into Seungkwan’s chest.
“I would be doing a lot better if a handsome man cared to ask me to dance.” The cheeky smile kicked Mingyu into action as he pressed his own glass into Seungkwan’s chest, making him groan. Mingyu took my hand tenderly and gestured towards the dance floor.
“May I, then?” He asked dashingly, his smile leaving me a blushing mess once again. I chuckled, out of embarrassment, and then nodded as he lead us towards the dancing crowd.
“Of course, leave me all by myself, you two!” Seungkwan called after us, but didn’t seem too sad as he got to drink not only his champagne, but ours too. Mingyu lead us towards the end of the room, where the crowd wasn’t so dense, and where my father couldn’t see us well, and I chuckled. Mingyu knew about my father’s rules as I have told him once, and he always enjoyed breaking them, angering my father a little each time. Perhaps that was the reason why he didn’t like Mingyu. Mingyu’s calloused hand took a firm hold of my waist as his other held my hand gingerly, and I allowed my hand to rest against his firm shoulder, the fabric soft under my tender touch.
“You look gorgeous, Miss Yoon.” Mingyu said, sounding almost breathless as he looked down at me. I chuckled and bowed my head slightly as I followed Mingyu’s lead, the orchestra playing a slow and lovely song.
“Thank you, Lieutenant Kim, you have been certainly turning heads as well tonight.” Mingyu laughed as he nodded, looking over the crowd. He was taller than most people in here, even in my heels, the top of my head barely reached above his eyes.
“I have noticed,” He said as his eyes fell back on me, and I raised an eyebrow teasingly, “But my eyes were only on you the whole time, Miss Yoon.”
I didn’t mean to blush as hard as I did, and Mingyu chuckled, squeezing my waist for a second as I cleared my throat, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. Averting my eyes to avoid blushing even more, I looked at the beautiful necklace hidden beneath Mingyu’s uniform’s collar, and I found my fingers absentmindedly toying with the gold. Mingyu didn’t seem to mind as he hummed along to the music, swaying us expertly to it. I looked around and noticed my father glaring in our direction furiously before Mrs. Boo noticed as well and whisked him away, pulling him towards a smaller crowd of both men and women, who seemed to be deep in discussion. Mrs. Boo and I made eye contact and she winked sneakily, making me grin as I looked back at Mingyu. He was already looking down at me and I cleared my throat.
“How were your days lately? Is the job demanding?” I made conversation, genuinely curious of Mingyu’s wellbeing. Mingyu’s lower lip jutted out as he hummed and maneuvered us around a couple almost strategically, so that we wouldn’t crash into them. They apologized before continuing on dancing.
“I’m afraid my job will be always demanding,” Mingyu started with a little smile, “but I enjoy it, so I can’t whine about it too much. It’s been quiet, the waters, I mean…until these past few days.”
“What happened?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowing. The orchestra changed the pace and I followed Mingyu as his long legs moved faster, steps still careful so that he wouldn’t step on my heeled toes.
“An unidentified ship has been seen on the horizon,” Mingyu explained, and my eyebrows raised as I suddenly remembered what Mr. Yu had said earlier today, “We can’t really do much if they don’t trespass the border, but we’ve been keeping an eye on them—”
“Do you think they could be pirates?” I didn’t mean to cut the Lieutenant off, but in my excitement I forgot I wasn’t supposed to be this eager when speaking about pirates, so, I quickly fixed my expression as Mingyu looked at me perplexed for a second.
“We know they are pirates, but, Miss Yoon…how would you know that?” Mingyu looked slightly alarmed as he lowered his voice and I just shrugged, looking off to the side.
“Word travels fast around here, you shouldn’t be so surprised, Lieutenant.” I gave him a teasing wink and Mingyu chuckled, opening his mouth to say something, when a loud crashing sound disturbed the ambivalence of the room, people gasping and turning their heads to look at where the sound came from. Curios myself, I quickly turned my head around, only to be met with an unfortunate scene. A servant lay on the floor with a tray full of dessert scattered around him, delicious looking sweets now ruined and uneatable. However, what caught my attention was the peculiar actions of the man crouched down next to the servant, who was scrambling around to put everything back on the tray. I could see the profile of the unknown man as he grinned at the servant, mumbling something to him before stealing a cherry off the tray, making the few ladies still watching gasp as he ate it. My eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched up at the action, but the man seemed not to care that the cherry had been on the dirty floor just seconds ago. As he stood up, I was taken aback by his height. Perhaps he lacked a few centimeters compared to Mingyu, but he was still toweringly tall. He cleared his throat and fixed the collar of his long, black, velvet coat, sweeping his hands through his long, blonde hair. My eyes followed the action and remained fixed on the stranger’s ringer clad fingers, the jewelry huge, shiny, and expensive looking. His whole outfit looked expensive, but I didn’t get the chance to have a better look at it as he patted the servant on the back and waltzed off like nothing had happened, his shoulders broad as he had a looming figure.
“Miss Yoon?” My head snapped back around, looking wide eyed at Mingyu as his eyebrows were furrowed.
“Excuse me, I got distracted.” I admitted and quickly cleared my throat, suddenly not in the mood to dance with the Lieutenant anymore. Who was this stranger? I knew everyone who frequented Mrs. Boo’s balls, so who was this mysterious man? My heart skipped a beat at the thought of a new person having moved into town, young and rich. If he was handsome too, I might have just hit the jackpot.
“I was just asking if you got startled.” Mingyu said, bringing me out of my thoughts once again. I plastered on a fake smile and brushed him off.
“Of course, I got startled,” I chuckled and lightly pushed myself away from Mingyu, “Excuse me, but I must hydrate myself now, it’s becoming too warm in here.”
Mingyu looked disappointed as he was forced to let go of me, bowing his head slightly before he led us out of the crowd, saying something, but I wasn’t paying attention to him anymore as I was looking around, eyes searching for the blonde, tall man.
            And my night went on just like that, searching the crowd relentlessly for the stranger, yet never quite finding him. I was only able to catch glimpses of him, he moved as if he was a ghost, gliding through the crowd as if he was trying to evade the people. It was becoming frustrating, and it got even worse when my father found me and demanded I remain by his side as he was unimpressed by me dancing with Mingyu. I said nothing and did as was told, sneakily drinking some more champagne when my father found himself in heated debates about things I wasn’t interested in. But my curiosity sparked even more as I heard a raspy, deep voice laughing not too far from us, the deep baritone carried over even the music. I tried not to be too obvious as I craned my neck and looked around for the voice, eyes widening when they fell on the stranger. He was merely a few feet away, talking to some ladies. He was leaning against a tall table, his fingers circling the rim of his champagne glass as he played with it, red lips pulled into a charming smile. I gulped as my eyes took in every curve of his face, his tall nose and his sharp eyes, his defined cheekbones and a jawline that was very sharp. His eyebrows were thick, but they complimented his features nicely, and his skin looked slightly burnt, like he had been out in the sun excessively. His blonde hair was long and brushed back behind his ears, the roots barely showing. I could see the way the ladies he was talking to were trying to push their chests our even more than their corsets already did for them, and it was hard to miss their blatant flirting as they tried to touch his hand at any given chance. My eyes narrowed as I watched the interaction, every nerve in my body begging me to walk over and introduce myself to the stranger, to earn his undivided attention. My eyes soaked him in, taking in his black outfit, the velvet clinging to his toned body, and I was startled to find he wore nothing underneath his black vest, a vest that didn’t even reach the waistband of his velvet pants. It was a scandalous outfit, too daring, and it was obviously gaining more and more attention as men glared at the stranger and ladies tried to approach him. Perhaps that was the point, to draw attention to himself, and it was working.
I gulped as I watched his lips move, pulled into a smirk as he reached out and fixed the hair of one of the young girl’s, and it made me scoff as I was aware of what he was doing. What I didn’t expect was the way his eyes snapped to me, as if he knew where he had to look, who he had to look at. My eyes widened slightly, but I didn’t avert my gaze as his remained fixed on me, raising an eyebrow just slightly. I misjudged the distance between us as he very well heard my scoff, and now he was taking me in, a challenging glint in his eyes. My fingers tightened around the glass I was holding and I smirked as I brough the glass up to my lips, taking a sip as the man smirked back, subtly tilting his glass in my direction. Our little exchange caught the attention of the ladies he was with and as they looked at me, they scowled and sent glares my way. I didn’t care, nothing mattered as I was enticed by the handsome stranger, features unique, quickly engraved into my brain.
But our little moment was broken the second a very drunken Sir Oh loudly called out, weaving towards me with his wife on his side, “Little sunshine!”
I tried not to grit my teeth as I was forced to look away from the stranger, but thankfully my father didn’t see the exchange between the two of us as he suddenly started ignoring the man trying to convince him that investing into diamonds was smart as he went to hug Sir Oh, as if they haven’t seen each other just hours ago. I sneaked a subtle glance towards the stranger, but he was gone, and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed as I sighed loudly, suddenly wishing to go home…or just leave this party.
             And leave the party I did, of course, after making sure my father was drunk enough to not notice his little princess slipping away. There was nothing enjoyable about the ball anymore. All the men were boring and they only wanted one thing…to get into my good graces, because I come from a well-off family. But they were boring and quite ugly, most of them on poorer side too. I had no interest in listening to their fake stories about all the things they haven’t actually done, but were saying just to try and impress me. I’ve been looking out for the handsome stranger all night long, but I never caught a glimpse of him again. It’s like he suddenly vanished, gone as quickly as he had come. It was disheartening, and I found myself pouting at a boy not even my age, who was boasting about visiting the royal castle and seeing the Queen.
“She is majestic, just like in the stories. Her eyes sparkle, and her crown is filled with diamonds—” I couldn’t listen to him anymore as I scoffed.
“And does Her Majesty drink her tea at five o’clock like everyone else does? Are her dresses of the latest trends made of silk and wool? Please, I am directly linked to the Queen, do you think I haven’t met her already? Talked to her, and spent my days with her?” My tone was snappy, the continuous glasses of champagne I kept sipping on made my world hazy, I couldn’t filter my words like I would usually do so, “Save yourself the grace and get lost, little boy.”
The man standing across me gasped, looking appalled before he turned around, pushing his nose high up in the air. I scoffed and reached forward with a smirk on my face, fingers delicately latching onto the golden chain hanging out of his pocket carelessly. Perhaps this boy should be more careful with his belongings.
And after that, I just slipped through the crowd, making sure I didn’t linger long enough for anyone to notice who I was and where I was headed to. I took a final glance towards my father before I quickly hurried through the wide doors of the ballroom, barely avoiding running into Seungkwan. But it seemed like he didn’t notice me slipping away, and so, with a smile on my face, I was quickly headed towards the outside with one goal in mind. Leave the Boo estate and go find something fun to do for the remaining of the night. I couldn’t tell what time it was exactly, not that it mattered judged by the slight hammering of my head and the haze surrounding my thoughts, and the dizziness clouding my vision. People threw curious glances at me as they noticed me walking without my father, but I just ignored them and smiled widely once I had reached the front gates. The two guardians looked at me with confusion written all over their faces as they shared a glance.
“Miss Yoon, everything alright?” One of them asked, and I smiled sweetly as I nodded wordlessly.
“Leaving without your father?” The other one inquired, crocking an eyebrow. I chuckled and subtly pushed my chest out, not missing the way their gazes fixated on the exposed skin of my collarbones.
“He’ll be here in a moment,” I spoke up, voice sickly sweet as I smiled charmingly at them, “I will go ahead and find our carriage.”
“But Miss Yoon—”
“Ah, ah, ah.” I tsked and shook my finger at the two bewildered men, “I am very capable of being on my own, gentlemen, don’t you think so?”
They said nothing as they shared a look, but ultimately allowed me to walk past as they sighed in unison, shrugging. I flashed them another wide smile and took off, giggling as my feet carried me towards the unknown, enjoying the warm salty breeze of the night, the waves crashing against the huge rocks loud as I was closer to the cliffs here. I took a glance behind myself, making sure nobody was following me, before I stopped to take a deep breath, closing my eyes. Freedom has never felt so good before, and I couldn’t help but raise my arms in the air and twirl around while chuckling, watching the way the skirt of the dress swirled around with me. But perhaps twirling around wasn’t a smart idea when your world was already spinning, and I came to an abrupt stop as nausea suddenly washed over me, making my eyebrows furrow as bile raised in my throat. There was absolutely no chance that a lady, a princess, like myself would throw up, therefore I took three deep breaths and anchored myself. No sudden actions should make this fine. I nodded to myself and took off again, headed to the town square, where I knew some pubs would be still open at this hour. Perhaps going to a pub alone, a beautiful woman like myself, wasn’t the brightest idea, but I wanted to see what it was like. I’ve never been to one, I only heard stories from the ladies I spent the tea parties with. I wanted to experience the same fun they had each time when going to a pub, I wanted to meet new people and perhaps…find a suitor. That was all I needed to remember the handsome stranger, and I couldn’t help but blush as I remembered his sharp eyes holding eye contact with me, his plush lips curling up into a dashing smirk, glint playful in his eyes. Everything about him screamed confidence, and I couldn’t help but giggle as I envisioned him sweeping me off my feet, carrying me effortlessly in his strong arms.
My journey came to a quick stop as Mrs. Boo didn’t leave too far from the square, and my attention was easily taken by the loud pub from the corner of the street. The lights were on inside and music poured out through the open door, very different from the soft music the orchestra had played at Mrs. Boo’s ball. The music was livelier here, heavier and louder, I found myself liking it as I approached the pub, taking in the exterior of it. The bricks were white and the windows sparkling, the dim lighting of the place pouring outside. A man stumbled through the doors clumsily, clutching his hat to his chest as he mumbled incoherent things to himself. His eyes fell on me as he looked up, and his face looked funny. It was oddly red and his eyes looked crisscrossed as he tipped his head in my direction, making me frown at him. The stench coming off him was disgusting and I quickly walked past him, marching inside the pub. The music got louder now that I was inside, but it wasn’t unbearable, you could still overhear the conversations people had…maybe because almost everyone was shouting. There was a weird smell in the air, and I covered my nose as I walked further inside, looking for a free table. Most were occupied by men and women, gathered around in large groups. The dim lightning and the weird smell made my head spin more, but I was proud of myself that I managed to walk in a straight line, eyes set on the free table towards the back of the pub. In my tipsy state, I missed the curious or hungry gazes sent my way, men watching me like haws, women scowling at me, acting as if I was here to steal their men.
When I finally reached the table, I gripped the chair and pulled it back, surprised by its heaviness as it dragged loudly against the wooden floorboards, but thankfully the music was loud enough to mask the atrocious sound. Despite being—probably—tipsy, I managed to sit down graciously, adjusting the skirt of my dress so that nobody would step on it and that I wouldn’t pull a string loose. The dress was dear to me, after all, it once belonged to my deceased mother. And it is also a very pretty, and pricey, dress. The corset seemed to get tighter for a second as I found myself gasping for air, eyebrows furrowing as I straightened my back to the point my back muscles were numb. I couldn’t dwell on the sudden ache for much longer as someone approached the table, looking rather perplexed by my presence here.
“Miss,” It was a young boy, perhaps fifteen, “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” I fired back, raising my eyebrows unimpressed.
“I work here.” He answered, looking away for a second, “And if you sit down then you must order something as well.”
“Fine,” I huffed, looking around the place. I had definitely seen worse places before, they certainly must have something that is worth my money here, “Bring me your finest wine, then.”
“Can you afford it?” I was appalled by the blatant mockery in the young boy’s tone, eyebrows raised and expression demanding as I snorted loudly, digging my hand down the front of my dress, between my breasts. The boy’s eyes widened and he quickly averted his eyes, cheeks flushing. I rolled my eyes before pulling my hand out of my dress, bringing it above the table and opening my palm. The sudden loud clanking caught the young boy’s attention as he turned his head, eyes widening as he looked at all the goods I had disregarded on the wooden table. I smirked at him, leaning my arms on the table as I leaned towards him.
“Do you think I can afford it?” I asked arrogantly, cocking an eyebrow. The boy just gulped and averted his eyes quickly.
“I’ll be by with our best wine, Miss.” I smiled and shushed him away quickly, looking back down at the little treasures I had borrowed throughout the night. A hairpin filled with tiny emeralds, a golden chain attached to an old looking golden pocket watch, three engagement rings with diamonds, a simple golden chain with a cross medal, and Mingyu’s necklace with a trident pendant. I placed my hands over them and pulled them towards myself, making sure nobody could steal them away from me. I debated whether or not in giving Mingyu’s necklace away as well, but in the end settled on slipping it back inside my corset, patting my chest down to make sure it was secured between my breasts. I didn’t have it in myself to part with this item, after all, Mingyu wasn’t a bad man nor ever had any bad intentions towards me. But as we danced tonight, I just couldn’t help myself. By the time I noticed what I had done, the thin golden necklace was clutched tightly in my palm, the trident pendant digging into the skin of my palm, a reminder that what I had once started doing as a joke, had now turned into a serious issue. I never truly meant to steal people’s things, but after realizing that I was so swift they wouldn’t even notice me taking their things away, it became a game to me. A curiosity to see how far I could get before somebody finally caught me. I knew my father would be devastated that his little daughter was a thief, or a kleptomaniac, and I would also probably go to prison since I was too wealthy to have my hand cut off. The constable would never do such horrendous thing to a girl like me.
My attention was suddenly caught by the man shuffling next to my right, head slightly bowed as he gripped a pint of beer in his clammy looking hand. His hair was already greying and his face was wrinkly. To be fair, he looked quite disgusting as he raised his head and flashed a yellow toothed smile my way, making me cringe. I covered away when he stepped even closer, mouth pulled into a grimace as the man tried to smirk, but he could barely stand on his feet as he had to lean into the table for support.
“Youn’ girl like yerself shouldn’t be in her’.” His words were slurred, but he seemed too determined to speak to me to realize that, “It’s dangerous.”
“I can see that,” I eyed the beer he held in his hand, dangerously close to my dress, “I would like it if you kept your cheap beer away from my dress.”
“Yer a spoiled one, eh?” He snickered, raising his beer up to his lips as he took a huge swing of it. I cringed at the action and looked around, trying to find the boy working here. He must surely tell this weird man to leave me alone. He would do that for me, right?
“And you’re disgusting, old, and poor.” I snapped back, glaring viciously at the man as he suddenly cackled as if I said something funny.
“The feisty ones are good in bed.” My jaw would’ve probably hit the floor if it could, eyes widening at his disgusting words. I huffed loudly, blood boiling at his blatant audacity. My hands clenched into fists and my jaw tightened as I glared furiously at this disgusting pig, a few seconds away from kicking the pint of beer out of his hand and smashing the glass on his head. But just as I pushed my chair back to scream at the man and chase him away, a tall figure inserted himself between the man and myself, black velvet coat way too familiar. It took a few seconds for my hazy brain to catch on that it was the stranger from Mrs. Boo’s ball. My eyes widened as I stared at the back of his head awestruck, wondering whether this was real or if my alcohol infused brain was playing tricks on me now.
“What did you just say?” The man’s voice was very deep, sharp, and it made me shiver as I continued staring at his blonde hair. His shoulders were incredibly broad from up-close, and I suddenly caught a whiff of something very sweet, almost vanilla like. It hadn’t been there before the stranger’s arrival, and it made me bite my lower lip as I felt even more drawn to the stranger.
“How dare you talk to a lady like that, you disgusting pig?!” The stranger’s voice was gravely and I watched taken aback as he took another step towards the old man, towering over him almost dangerously, “You’re lucky there’s too many people watching—otherwise I would’ve cracked your skull open, asshat.”
The old man seemed speechless as he stared up at the handsome stranger with shaking eyes, seemingly at a loss of words, “What—yer asking for it, son! Uneducated prick. How dare you talk to a lord like that? I will call the constable on you—”
“And I will tell the constable that you had been harassing my betrothed.” My heart skipped a beat as my eyebrows rose, staring at the stranger’s profile as I cocked my head to the right. Very subtly, he turned his head towards me and we made eye contact for a second. His lips twitched and I was sure he was trying not to smirk. My alcohol infused brain found the situation hilarious but also interesting, and I found myself playing along as I stepped up next to the handsome stranger, latching onto his right arm.
“Can you make this pig go away, love?” I asked with a pout, throwing a side glance at the old man. His face had turned red and he was glaring dagger at us, it almost made me chuckle. As I looked up in the stranger’s small, but sharp, eyes, the wind was knocked out of my lungs. He was so handsome, breathtaking from up-close. His features were sharp and nothing like I had seen before, a stray strand of blonde hair falling in his eyes. His dark eyes were warm and inviting, even playful as he chuckled, nodding his head at me.
“Will you turn away if I have to punch him?” His deep voice caught a lighter tone and I gulped, trying to ignore the rapid beating of my heart. I was sure my cheeks were warm, tinged red due to this handsome stranger. My body was reacting in a way it never had towards a man before.
“You shouldn’t bloody your pretty hands because of an incompetent leech.” I found myself saying, my left hand slipping down his arm and intertwining with his fingers. I could hear my own heartbeat, it was very loud and it was in my throat, thumping fast and strongly as the stranger tightened his hold against mine, his cold rings digging into my skin. His palm was calloused and big, almost engulfing mine wholly in his. They were warm and it made my skin feel even hotter than it already was before. Suddenly, he turned his head and his jaw locked, eyes narrowing at the old man.
“Get lost.” His words were punctuated and I watched as a dark look crossed his features, for a second making me question whether he was dangerous or safe to be around. But as he faced me again, his features relaxed and he flashed a wide smile at me, his teeth impeccably white, the front ones protruding a little, giving him a boyish look. His tall nose scrunched and his small eyes became even smaller, and I found myself completely enticed by him. I didn’t realize I let out a small sigh, having forgotten about the old prick as he had finally walked away, muttering profanities under his breath. I couldn’t care anymore as I kept staring into the handsome stranger’s eyes, seeing galaxies in them, dark brown chocolate swirling around his irises. I had completely forgotten that we were holding hands, too taken by his face, and suddenly, he detached himself from me. My body instantly felt cold as he took a small step away from me, a smirk adorning his lips. My eyebrows lightly furrowed as the dim lights swirled around me, but it was clear that he was about to walk away. And I couldn’t let that happen.
“Wait,” I reached out, griping his hand once again, stopping the handsome stranger from leaving, “If you leave right now, that old man will come back to bother me more. Since you lied, we better stick to it.”
The stranger’s eyebrows lightly furrowed as his eyes slowly fell onto our joint hands, and I swiftly let his hand go, feeling my cheeks flush in embarrassment. He looked at my face again, but I couldn’t hold eye contact with him just yet.
“You’re right, darling.” My eyes snapped up at the nickname, skin tingling and my stomach doing a weird flip at the hear of it. The stranger smiled at me dashingly, pointing for me to sit as he pulled out a chair for himself. I gulped, not quite considering what I was getting myself into as I took my seat at the table. It was silent between us as the stranger settled down too, our eyes meeting again despite me shying away quickly, all of my confidence suddenly out the window. The handsome stranger opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the young boy working here appeared with a glass of wine and two tall glasses in his hands. My eyes snapped to him as he placed everything down on the table, looking at me expectantly once he poured wine for us. I chuckled and gathered the jewelry I had borrowed and placed it in his open palm. However, the boy didn’t leave right away, he picked at the golden pieces with a frown on his face, looking back at me with narrowed eyes.
“Wasn’t there another necklace?” He asked, his voice judgmental. I chuckled as I grabbed my glass of wine and raised it to my mouth, smelling it. It seemed sweet, but not very fresh. It probably wasn’t from around here. I looked at the boy as I took a small sip of the wine, the taste not quite like I was expecting it to be. Ah, perhaps this is the best this pub could offer.
“Will you serve me actual good wine if there was another one?” I raised an eyebrow, smirking in victory when the boy rolled his eyes, storming away while mumbling, ‘spoiled princess’ under his breath. I chuckled, having forgotten for a second that the handsome stranger was sitting at the table with me. His snort alerted me and I quickly looked at him, but he just stook a large sip of his wine, eyebrows scrunching almost in distaste.
“Oh, well, that’s damn sweet.” My eyebrows raised at his choice of words; his voice gruff as he grimaced. He looked like a gentleman through and through, it was quite rare to hear them cursing, let alone around ladies. This stranger was quite interesting. I took another sip of my drink, checking for the taste again, but I didn’t find it as repulsive as the stranger made it seem to be. I chuckled, quirking an eyebrow in his direction.
“Do you not like it?” I asked lightly, motioning around us, “Would you like a pint of beer like all the other disgusting pricks from inside this pub?”
The man chuckled like I had said something funny, when my question was meant to be very serious. I wanted to know who I was dealing with.
“No, darling, I prefer rum.” He said with a smile, winking as he gulped down the rest of his wine in one go. My eyes widened at that and I glanced back down at my glass, finding that I had barely drunken anything from it. I had to catch up with him, I supposed. This was stupid, deep down I knew it was. What was I doing in a scruffy pub drinking wine with an insanely attractive stranger? This was so dangerous, I could get in so much trouble…yet my mind was focused on different things at the moment due to the alcohol intoxicating it, like the huge ruby ring this man wore on his left middle finger. His hands were placed on the table as he was playing with the glass, passing it between his large hands, his lower lip sucked between his teeth as I didn’t miss the way his eyes ran over my body, checking me out, “What are you doing here all alone, princess?”
I chuckled at the nickname, my stomach doing another weird flip as I took a bigger sip of my wine, suddenly getting bolder under the watchful gaze of the stranger, “What makes you think I’m alone and not with my guardians?”
“I had to step in to help you, didn’t I?” The stranger chuckled, “I doubt your guardians would’ve let that old asshat harass you like that.”
I couldn’t help but giggle when he said ‘asshat’, finding the word new in my vocabulary. I have never heard anyone saying it before, “You’re cursing quite boldly around a lady, love, don’t you fear your gruffness might drive me away?”
“Is it driving you away?” The stranger asked lowly as he suddenly leaned over the table, getting incredibly close to my face. I gulped as I felt at a loss of words, suddenly very aware of the painful thumping of my head. Would drinking more wine help in making that go away?
“No.” I found myself whispering, mesmerized by the glint in his eyes as the stranger hummed, settling back in his seat. My eyes were drawn back to his hands as he started playing with a particularly big ring, a letter carved on it. I couldn’t quite make it out, but it suspiciously looked like the letter A.
“You wear a lot of jewelry, it’s attractive.” I found myself mumbling absentmindedly, eyes widening when I realized the handsome stranger had heard me. He was in the middle of pouring himself another glass of wine, his eyebrows slightly raising as he looked confused for one little second, complacency quickly overtaking his features. His eyes narrowed slightly as he flexed his fingers, wriggling them even, before continuing to pour some more wine for himself. I cleared my throat and straightened my stance, holding my head high, “I haven’t seen you around before. Have you moved here recently?”
The stranger seemed to ponder for a second before he hummed, looking me in the eyes as he took a sip of his wine, “My name is Song Mingi.”
“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Song.” I smiled brightly at him, finally associating a name to the handsome face, “My name is Yoon Y/N.”
Suddenly, he reached over the table and grabbed my hand, pulling my arm towards himself rather forcefully. I watched with interest as he raised my knuckles up to his plush lips and pressed a lasting kiss against it, his nose pressing into my skin, his breath hot as it hit my skin. Suddenly, everything felt hot around me as I watched him, feeling his soft lips and hot breath against the sensitive skin of my hand, it felt overwhelming as goosebumps covered my skin. I knew my face was flushed, but perhaps it wasn’t from the alcohol anymore. As he finally pulled my hand away from his face, I felt like I could breathe again and at the look in his eyes, I felt forced to take another large sip of my wine, curious as to where things were leading with this mysterious Song Mingi.
“I’m not quite from here,” He explained, still not having released my hand, “But I am from the Sun Rise Kingdom.”
I hummed, hand getting clammy in his grip, so I gently pulled it back, flexing my fingers as I gripped my glass of wine with both hands, “And what are you doing in this quiet town?”
Mingi chuckled, a playful expression on his face, “Hmm, I’d say I’m a traveler.”
“We don’t have many of those here.” I mumbled as I took another sip, coming to the realization that I had finished my wine. My head spun and body felt hot, the air sticky inside the pub, but I couldn’t find it in myself to move just yet. My father was probably losing his mind by now if he noticed his little daughter was gone.
“Have you traveled outside of your little town, Y/N?” Hearing him say my name felt strange, it sent a shiver down my spine. The way his baritone shook with the pronunciation of my name made my mouth go dry all of a sudden, and to my surprise, Mingi was pouring me another glass of wine. It had completely gone over my head that he was being rather informal with me despite having just met each other. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“Of course I have, Mingi.” I paused for a second, watching his reaction to saying his name so casually, but it didn’t seem to bother him, he looked used to it, which was strange, “I’ve visited the Queen’s castle quite a few times already.”
“Oh,” Mingi suddenly seemed quite interested as he leaned forward, one hand reached out on the table, close to mine, “How come?”
I chuckled and shrugged, taking another sip of my wine as Mingi seemed to be patiently waiting for me to continue, “Well, we’re acquittanced, you know?”
His eyes widened for a second, but then he quickly fixed his expression and an overly friendly smile appeared on his lips, “Really? I would have never thought so.”
“Is that so?” I chuckled, licking my smooth lips. It seemed like Mingi thought he might’ve offended me, because his extended hand was suddenly placed over mine, his warm palm pressing against my smaller hand.
“My apologies, darling,” He batted his eyelashes at me, a quite comical look coming from a man, “I did not mean to assume anything. You look quite exactly like a Queen would look like.”
I didn’t mean to laugh so loudly, it was un-ladylike and against everything my governess had taught me, but for some reason I found Mingi’s flattering hilarious. And it was a compliment I hadn’t quite heard before.
“Oh, my, seems like you have met plenty of Queens in your lifetime, then.” I teased him with a cheeky smile. Mingi chuckled, looking down for a second before his gaze connected with mine again.
“I have, and none were as beautiful as you, Y/N.” The obvious and generic compliment shouldn’t have made me blush so deeply, but I opted to blame it on the wine I was consuming currently. I didn’t miss the way Mingi’s lips twitched into a small smirk before he tried to look friendly instead of smug again.
“Don’t you have a way with words, Mr. Song?” I mumbled before taking a small sip of my wine.
“Mingi is just fine.” He corrected and I felt his long finger grazing against my knuckles, caressing them. My heart skipped a beat. I had never been so taken by a man before. Everything about Mingi seemed to draw me in. His looks were the main reason I even paid attention to him in the first place, but his personality was mysterious yet exciting, it kept me wanting to talk to him.
“Mingi, then.” I said with a smile, flipping my hand upside down, Mingi slotted his fingers next to mine instantly, “You must be quite wealthy if you attended Mrs. Boo’s ball tonight.”
Mingi’s smirk returned, but it was cheeky this time, “What if I told you that I sneaked in? Will you continue talking to me? Or will you leave me alone, here at this table, princess?”
I hummed in thought for a second, considering his words. He certainly didn’t look like someone who would sneak into a ball like that, but his behavior was indeed weird. I allowed my eyes to run over his physique, and instantly regretted it as I was presented with his bare chest, the singular vest he had on doing a horrible job at covering the man up. The single silver chain dangling around his neck had my eyes fixated on it, and I had to force my hazy brain to focus on anything else but the way it sat against his collarbones.
“Since you’re being so vague I will continue talking to you, love.” Mingi chuckled, nodding his head, looking quite pleased with my answer, “I only asked because only the richest attend her balls.”
“Oh, really?” Mingi raised an eyebrow and took another sip of his wine, fingers flexing against mine.
“Really.” I said, mirroring him and taking another sip of my wine.
“So, that means you’re filthy rich?” He asked without any hesitation and I laughed again, grinning at him, enjoying how upfront he was.
“Yes, and I would be even richer if my mother hadn’t died.” I might’ve sounded like a spoiled, ungrateful, brat, but I was merely stating the truth. Mingi’s face lit up, an expression unfamiliar overtaking his face. He almost looked hungry…greedy, perhaps. I gulped and watched him, wondering whether saying that was smart or not.
“How come?” He asked nonchalantly, yet the glint in his eyes said otherwise.
“My mother was related to the Queen of the Sun Rise Kingdom, therefore I’m also a descended of the royal family.” If Mingi’s grip on my hand hadn’t been firm, now it turned almost painful, but my heart was racing and I didn’t want him to let go, his skin warm against mine.
“Oh, really?” Mingi grinned like a mad hatter, “So, you’re a princess then?”
I chuckled, shaking my head slowly, “Sadly, I am not. Even though I should be—look at me!”
“Oh, I am looking.” Mingi bit his lower lip as he said that, his intense eyes raking over my body again and suddenly I felt hot all over again, mouth going dry at the sudden shift of his tone and expression, something like hunger appearing in his eyes again, but I couldn’t decipher what it was this time. And I didn’t want to know as my skin tingled once Mingi’s fingers trailed up to my wrist, caressing my soft skin with his lip between his teeth still, “I think you’ve had enough drinks for tonight, princess.”
“Do I?” I challenged as I downed half of my glass in one go, regretting it as it burned my throat slightly. Mingi laughed for the first time, loud and wheezy, head thrown back slightly as he gripped my wrist firmly, fingers hooking around my delicate bracelet. I felt the action and found myself gripping his wrist unconsciously too, linking our hands so nobody would separate us. The silver chain on his wrist dug into my skin, and I found myself gripping it subconsciously, fingers softly feeling around for a clasp. But Mingi suddenly stood, taking my attention off the bracelet my fingers itched to slip off his wrist.
“Darling, let me walk you home,” He carefully pulled me up to my feet, making me aware of how badly my world was spinning around me at this point, “I would hate it if any gentleman took advantage of you.”
“I would hate that as well.” I said as I looked up in his eyes, his body suddenly too close to mine, my eyes landing on his exposed collarbones. Mingi’s hand slipped back down and he intertwined his fingers with mine as suddenly there was a finger underneath my chin, tilting my head up.
“Should I lead the way?” He asked almost breathless, staring down in my eyes deeply. I licked my lips as I watched his lips form the words, lips which looked soft and plush. I wondered what they tasted like.
“Yes, please, lead the way.” I whispered, daring to look back in his eyes once again.
“Good, princess.” And then he maneuvered us out of the pub, the air now chilly as we walked down the dark streets of the town. My world was spinning with me nauseatingly, and the dark made it harder to see anything. I knew which way I had to walk to reach the Yoon Manor, and surprisingly Mingi did too as he lead the way confidently. For someone who wasn’t from here, he knew the roads extremely well. Or maybe I was simply too drunk to realize that Mingi wasn’t leading me back to the safety of my manor, but towards the beach which my room overlooked. The breeze was pleasant despite the chill in the air, and I realized I was struggling to walk in my high heels, ankles aching with each step as Mingi had to steady me, allowing me to lean into his side as he threw one arm around my shoulders, while interlocking his fingers with mine with his other hand. Nothing much was said between the two of us as we continued on walking, huffs and puffs leaving my lips way too often, my eyes threatening to drop every second.
“Mingi,” I whispered, body completely worn out, “I don’t think I can walk anymore.”
We stopped walking, and I felt a hand cupping my cheek as I closed my eyes and nuzzled into the warm palm. Suddenly, the familiar sweet scent of vanilla engulfed my senses and I was a second too late to realize that I wasn’t standing on my feet anymore, “Let me carry you, princess.”
I hummed as I allowed my eyes to fall closed shut, arms around Mingi’s neck as he carried me, holding me securely in his strong arms. The vanilla was even stronger, now and I couldn’t help but notice the added scent of salt and…gunpowder? I inhaled deeply as my nose pressed against Mingi’s collarbone, and I heard him gasp quietly.
“Are you sure you know the way towards the Yoon Manor?” I mumbled into his skin, my lips pressing against his warm flesh. Mingi’s hold seemed to tighten as he cleared his throat, voice sounding raspier than before.
“Of course, princess. You can go to sleep now.” And because I was drunk and foolish, I followed his command, closing my eyes and falling asleep to the steady beats of his heart, failing to notice that we were way too far from the Yoon manor…and we’d only get even more far away from it.
Tumblr media
            A loud crash resounding around me made me suddenly stir. My body felt cold and stiff as I lay unmoving, eyes squeezed tight shut, suddenly aware of the soft rocking of the bed. It made me wonder where that could be coming from or was it…the alcohol’s fault? Almost as if thinking about it sent some sensors off in my brain, my head started pulsing harshly, making me whine as I raised a hand to press against my forehead, softly rubbing my sweaty skin. My nose scrunched up as I tapped my forehead, then face, realizing the air was quite damp around me as my dress stuck to my skin. With a grimace expanding on my lips, I became aware of the weird stench surrounding me. It smelled like the sea and…fish. And I hated fish, it almost made me gag.
“Soyeon, Soojin.” I croaked out, almost inaudibly, surprised by how dry my throat felt. I gulped a few times, clearing my throat in an attempt of trying to get my voice to work as I called out again, slightly louder, “Soyeon. Soojin.”
I waited a few seconds, listening to the thudding of feet against the marble floors, the opening of my door, but there was nothing. My maids were nowhere to be found…or heard. I huffed and turned onto my side, nuzzling my nose against the silky sheet of the pillow, a little off-thrown by the vanilla scent of it. That’s certainly not what my pillowcases smell like, but perhaps the servants scented it differently this time and failed to let me know about it. That was something they would be reprimanded for as I didn’t like it when they did something without asking me first. I quite enjoy the fruity scent of my pillowcases.
“Soyeon.” I snapped, voice harsher, “Soojin.”
Eyebrows furrowing, I waited for my maids to finally spring into action, but there was nothing still, “Soyeon! Soojin!”
Eyes snapping open furiously, I was about to huff and puff loudly, but my whole blood froze in me. My eyes widened and anger vanished instantly as I realized I was in a foreign room. Eyes turning to the pillow I had my head on, I realized it wasn’t mine, and I instantly sprung up into a sitting position.
What was this?
Where was I?
With a gaping mouth, I took in the room, appalled by its simplicity and—by how mucked up it was. The large closet right next to the bed seemed eaten up by wood-beetles, the door quite off its hinges. Suddenly, I was thrown back into the bed and I groaned, eyebrows furrowing as I couldn’t quite fathom what was happening. There was a rather loud groan coming from somewhere outside this beaten down room, and I sat back up, continuing to take in the room. There was a desk underneath the small round window, and it was littered with books. My interest would’ve been peeked if I wasn’t in an unknown room, which, by the way, made my skin crawl due to its state. There were three large chests on the wall opposite of the bed, all closed, and apparently locked with an iron locket. My heart was beating fast and I felt myself sweating even more as I realized I could’ve been kidnaped, that some disgusting, crazed, man decided to take me captive and only God knows what will happen to me now—Mingi. Wasn’t…didn’t I leave with a man last night? A very handsome stranger, no, Song Mingi. That was his name. But he said he’d take me home, so why was I here right now?
I gasped, pressing my hands against my mouth as the thought occurred that perhaps something happened to Mingi. That would be such a shame, the man was too handsome for his own good. My skin tingled just at the thought of him, and I couldn’t help but blush as hazy memories of being in his arms, nose pressed against his bare skin, resurfaced in my mind. But reality quickly washed over me as there was another tumble to this strange place I found myself in, making me panic once again as I realized I had to get out of here somehow. I needed my father; he would know what to do. Even my maids would know! My lips quivered as I realized I was left alone and defenseless, this crazed man who kidnapped me could do anything to me right now, and I wouldn’t be able to protect myself. I blinked away the tears in my eyes as I reluctantly threw my legs over the edge of the bed, deciding that I needed to do something for myself right now. My father and maids weren’t around to guide me, I had to use all my knowledge while I remained calm and level-headed. But I couldn’t help trying once again, hopeful that this was just a bad dream that I haven’t woken up from just yet.
“Papa!” I screamed loudly, gripping the bedsheets tightly in my hands, “Soojin! Soyeon!”
And suddenly, there was another loud crash coming from outside of the room and I jumped, muscles tensing as my eyes snapped to the door. There was a loud deep groan, and then this weird place rocked violently again, sending something crashing into the door from the outside. I could hear a muffled voice cursing loudly as the door was suddenly flung open, making my eyes widen as I sprung up to my feet in fright. I didn’t know what was about to happen right now, but I was ready to put up a fight if this monster of a man, who dared to kidnap me, tried doing anything to me. But the scream I was ready to let out got stuck in my throat as I was met with a rather familiar face.
In the daylight, he looked completely different. His long blonde hair was in a manbun, a few shorter strands falling out of it as it framed his face. His skin looked to be glowing as sweat sheen on his exposed chest, the skin tan, and smooth looking. Mingi looked even taller in the rather small room we were in, his white shirt unbuttoned down to his chest, three different length silver chains adorning his neck, falling against his tan skin. Leather black pants clung to his muscular thighs, and I was slightly taken aback by his narrow waist, the thick leather belt hugging it tightly, his shirt tucked in. I knew a few ladies who would’ve killed to have his waist.
“Hey, quit screaming.” Mingi hissed, his thick eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me with his sharp eyes, “Not everyone is up yet, princess.”
I gulped, trying to gather my thoughts. Why did his voice sound even deeper compared to last night?
“What am I doing here?” I managed to ask, blinking my eyes fast when I caught myself staring at his rather firm chest. Mingi remained silent for a second, staring at me with amusement washing over his face.
“Well, princess,” He started, walking further inside the room, making me step back as the back of my knees crashed into the bed behind me, I felt caged in, “You needed a helping hand last night as you were a tad bit too drunk.”
Mingi chuckled as he watched confusion written all over my face as I tried to place the missing pieces together. Well yes, he wasn’t wrong, I might’ve had too much to drink last night, but that still didn’t explain why I wasn’t currently in my room, with my maids there to take care of me, and with my father screaming at me for running off last night. I could only assume this was Mingi’s place, and it was disgusting. Wasn’t he rich? And if he was, why did his place look like this? Certainly there must be nicer Inns in this little town, why did he willingly choose to stay in the dirties and most beaten down one?
“Well, I—” I cleared my throat as it still felt dry, I found it a little bit hard to speak, “I certainly had a little bit more than a lady like myself is supposed to have.”
I tried to look confident, ignore the light flush of my cheeks as I remembered more of what has happened last night, the way Mingi’s fingers curled against mine, his rings digging into my skin. Almost as if on cue, my eyes travelled down towards his hands, and I wasn’t surprised to find them decorated by big and thick rings, the red ruby on his middle finger almost glinting in the sunlight coming through the small round window of this wretched room. Mingi hummed, making me look back up at his face as I tried to ignore the knowing smirk on his lips. But he didn’t say anything, and it made me nervous as I sniffed, fidgeting on the bed for a second before I stood once again, glancing around the room. Since I wasn’t kidnaped by a scruffy man, but Mingi…did it mean I was here because…something that I failed to recall has happened between the two of us last night?
And as if Mingi could read my mind, a chuckle left his lips, “You move around a lot in your sleep, princess, I certainly got an elbow to my ribs once or twice during the night—”
“During the night?!” I didn’t mean to exclaim as my eyes widened, mouth going even drier, “We—we slept in the same bed?!”
Mingi raised his eyebrows nonchalantly and took another step towards me, making me clutch onto the skirt of my dress, “Of course, we did, princess. Did you think I would offer up my precious bed to you and sleep on the hard wooden floor myself?”
“Well, I—yes.” I said as I threw him a small glare, “That’s what a gentleman is supposed to do.”
Mingi chuckled, giving me a cheeky smile, “But I’m not a gentleman, darling. God forbid I treat you like the princess you are.”
I wasn’t an actual princess, but I didn’t feel like correcting him, “But if we slept in the same bed—oh, no.”
I let out a harsh breath, eyes widening as I glanced behind myself at the bed, heart suddenly thumping wildly. My ears started ringing and I bit my lower lip, eyebrows furrowing as I wracked my brain to remember anything…inappropriate that’s happened between myself and Mingi. But I was coming up blank, and it only unsettled me more as Mingi remained unphased, an amused smirk on his lips when I looked back up at him.
“Oh, no, what, darling?” He closed the gap between our bodies and suddenly reached out, twirling a curly strand of my hair between his fingers, “Do you not remember? Didn’t think you’d forget based on the way you were screaming my name last night.”
“Wha—what?!” I stammered mortified. Mingi had the audacity to pout as I swiftly slapped his hand playing with my hair away, skin burning, and face beat red. For a second, I couldn’t breathe as Mingi remained silent, obviously enjoying my distress as he chuckled loudly, leaning slightly down to be eye level with me. My eyebrows furrowed and I leaned back, hands fisting the skirt of my dress so tightly that my grip was becoming painful.
“Your face is precious right now, darling.” Mingi chuckled, and I felt on the verge of passing out from embarrassment and anger, “But as much as I love the look on your face, I have to admit that it was just a bloody joke, Y/N. I like my partners conscious and sober when we have sex, darling, and you were passed out and far from sobriety. And even I, myself, certainly wasn’t in the right state last night to even think of doing anything to you.”
I needed a moment to truly understand Mingi’s words, soak them in and analyze them, to finally realize that we hadn’t actually done anything. Like he had said, I passed out from drinking too much, and based on his words, he was also too drunk to attempt doing anything. Knowing this settled the frantic beat of my heart, but I still didn’t feel at ease. I was a respectable and an exemplary lady, even just sharing a bed for a night with a man would ruin my reputation and pure image. My father would certainly lose his mind if he were to ever know.
“Good,” I snapped, bunching up my skirt around my ankles, glaring daggers at Mingi, “and you’re not funny, Mingi, your sense of humor is quite lacking if you enjoy watching a lady in distress due to such sensitive topic. And if we’re done here now, then I’m leaving.”
I went to push past Mingi as I huffed loudly, but his hand shot forward all of a sudden, and he gripped my upper arm, “You’re not going anywhere, Y/N.”
“Yes, I am.” I snapped with a tsk, yanking on my arm, but he didn’t want to release it. Mingi just rolled his eyes and tightened his grip, leaning closer in as his own eyes narrowed at me.
“No, you’re not.” He emphasized his words, voice imitating mine, slightly deeper as he was glaring back at me now, looking rather intimidating. A blonde strand fell into his eye and I was rather flabbergasted when I found myself wanting to tuck it behind his ear.
“Oh, really?” I smirked, stepping so close to him that the toes of our shoes pressed against each other painfully, our faces barely inches away as I raised my head, “And who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do, Mingi?”
“Well, for starters, I’m Mingi.” The stupid smile that showed his adorable front teeth was irritating, and my jaw clenched as Mingi’s fingers teasingly glided down my arm, fingers intertwining with mine, yanking on my hand so that I fell against his chest. I gasped, craning my neck to look up at him, heart beating fast as our exposed collarbones lightly brushed against each other, “And I’m a pirate, sweetheart. And I’ve taken you hostage, so until daddy dearest pays up, you’re staying here with me.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I studied his face for any signs of amusement, but Mingi was serious. Too serious all of a sudden, and I found myself panicking once again as I lightly shook my head no, “Right, and you expect me to believe you, because—”
“Because the whole town is looking for you right now as we speak, and unless daddy dearest decided to sleep in—which I highly doubt—then he’s found a letter with my pretty handwriting on the desk in his study room, and is writing back to us just this second, probably desperate enough to pay us the requested money, if that means he gets his little gemstone back.” Did Mingi consider that I was like a gemstone, then? I subtly shook my head, getting rid of such silly thoughts in such serious situation. This couldn’t be real, I must be still asleep, having a nightmare. There’s no possibility that I was kidnapped by a pirate, who’s now asking my father to pay him copious amount of money if he wants me back. It felt like my stomach dropped all of a sudden, and I felt nauseous just like last night as my eyebrows furrowed.
“I—I—” I took a deep breath and gripped Mingi’s fingers tightly, gritting my teeth as I refused to allow this stupid pirate to play around with me, “I refuse to be your hostage.”
My words sent Mingi into a fit of giggles and my glare just deepened as he seemed to gloss over my words, throwing his head back as his giggles turned into loud laughter. Wasn’t I supposed to stay silent because other’s were still sleeping? Did that not apply to Mingi as well? But his momentarily lack of attention served me just right as I remembered he never bothered to close the door of the room, or lock it for that matter, and it was my chance for an escape. It was too easy, too perfect, and I took advantage of that to the fullest. Just as Mingi opened his mouth, seemingly having calmed down, my right leg rose as I aimed for his neither region, kneeling him hard in the balls. Mingi’s lips parted in a loud cry and I chuckled as I was able to push him back, send him tumbling into the desk as he doubled over, face scrunched up in pain as he started moaning in pain. I didn’t waste any more time as I took off towards the door, sprinting out of the room, a little disheartened when I noticed the long hallway littered with doors on both sides. But I noticed light pouring down from one direction and I took off towards it, the skirt of my dress raised above my knees as I felt thankful for being a fast runner, my feet carrying me to the stairs in no time, able to hear the waves crashing against the shore and the salty air as I ran up the stairs, momentarily blinded by the strong sunlight. I have reached my freedom, Mingi had no chance of catching me, and I would return home to my father unscathed, saving him from having to give out God knows how much money to this stupid pirate.
But I wasn’t prepared for the scene unfolding in front of me as I reached the top of the stairs. A man held a big sword in his hands as he seemed to be sparring with a red-haired woman, their swords loud as they clashed against each other. There was a man climbed up high and looking over the water. There were a few men walking around, pulling barrels or just sharpening their knives, but perhaps, what was the most shocking was how far away the shore seemed to be. It sent my heart into a frenzy as I stepped further outside, realizing that water was the only thing that surrounded us, making it harder to breathe as I spun around in one place, taking everything in. The stench in the room, the sea and the fish, the constant rocking and loud waves—we were out on the open sea on a large ship. I gasped as I pressed a hand against my mouth, trying to catch my breath as my heart was pumping wildly, making me dizzy as the loud clanking of swords came to an abrupt stop, becoming eerily silent around me as I looked up. All eyes were on me, and I gulped nervously, unsettled by the weird looks the older men were giving me. Or perhaps I should calling them pirates. I wasn’t so curious to find out anything more about them, I just wanted to go home to my father. There were some rapid thuds behind me, until I became aware of the footsteps headed heavily towards me, catching me off guard when a harsh grip was settled around my bicep. It didn’t feel like Mingi’s grip, however, and I found myself struggling against it instantly, uncaring of the people watching. I had to free myself, I needed to get away sooner than later while I was still up on deck. Perhaps I could swim back to the shore.
“Let me go you filthy—” My eyes widened as I whipped my head around, yanking against the grip, only to be taken off guard at the extremely gorgeous man back staring at me, unbudging despite my attempts to free myself, “oh, you look quite pristine for a pirate.”
An amused chuckle left the black-haired man’s lips, and his hair was in a manbun similar to Mingi’s, however his hair was a lot longer. His eyes were big and his lips plump, his skin tan. His outfit was put together and looked to be in perfect state, a dark corset around his torso as a long coat hung off his shoulders, I’ve never seen a man wear a corset before. He was tall, but not as tall as Mingi.
“That’s a compliment I hadn’t gotten before,” His voice was deeper, yet his chuckle high pitched. He talked smoothly and elegantly, confusing me the longer I took him in, “But I must ask who you are, love.”
“You first, love.” I snapped, eyes narrowing at the stupidly gorgeous man. He chuckled, lips curling into a rather unsettling smile as his round eyes lost their friendliness.
“Park Seonghwa, Quartermaster of Ateez, pleased, love?” His tone was mocking and rather cold, unappreciative of my demanding nature. I gulped and nodded, but refused to speak up. I wasn’t about to give away my identity, it meant not everyone knew who I was. Maybe it was just Mingi who knew, and I intended on keeping it that way.
“And just who brought this yapping brat on my ship?” There was another voice calling out, higher pitched and snappy, and I gasped offended as my eyes snapped up towards the voice. There was a cat-like eyed man leaning over the railing, features sharp and well defined as his aura was demanding and intimidating, glaring daggers at me.
Before I could say anything, there was another unknown voice speaking up, “Probably Mingi, you know he has an affinity for shiny new things—”
A groan cut his words off as I looked his way, surprised to find the red-haired woman glaring at the tall man, he seemed to be around Mingi’s height. The man chuckled sheepishly, looking away from the woman with a shrug, “What? You know it’s true.”
“Yunho.” The woman reprimanded as my eyes remained on them, noticing the quick yet obvious loving look in the man’s eyes as he smiled at the woman, his hand finding hers, fingers intertwining. It made me think of Mingi as he often did that, and I found myself blushing stupidly as I huffed out loud. It caught the attention of the man holding me and I quickly yanked my arm free, stumbling as I had thought he wouldn’t release me so easily. I caught my footing quickly, however, and quickly patted down my dress, pulling my shoulders back and holding my chin high. The man holding me previously and the other one leaning against the railing chuckled almost simultaneously and I scowled, giving them both a glare that would’ve shut up any servant back at the manor, but these two idiots seemed even more amused as they started snickering while they shared a glance.
“Hey!” There was suddenly a commotion downstairs, until loud thuds hit the wooden stairs as my head snapped towards the sound, “Y/N! Come back here! I will—”
Mingi froze as he got on deck, now all eyes on him as his chest was heaving, eyes widening when he looked up towards the railing, “Captain!”
“Good morning, Mingi.” The man smirked, placing his chin in his open palm, “Care to explain yourself?”
“This isn’t like last time, I swear!” Mingi was quick to exclaim, and gone was the cocky and confident man as his eyes widened, and he scrambled to explain himself to the, apparently, Captain of the ship, “She’s like—super rich. She’s a princess, Hongjoong! We’re gonna get so much money this time, that we won’t have to trade for a whole month!”
“Is that so, Mingi?” The Captain looked intrigued as he quirked an eyebrow, looking in my direction. I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at the man, “But Wooyoung and Haneul are taking care of that issue currently.”
“Sure, but we’ve still got some weeks until we meet up with them, surely the plus income comes in handy, right, Seonghwa?” Mingi raised his eyebrows as he looked towards the other man with a manbun, who’s lips were pursed as he hummed.
“I’m always up for more money, but it depends what our Captain wants—”
“I’m not a princess.” I suddenly stated loudly, all eyes snapping onto me. Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked confused for a second before his eyes narrowed.
“Too late, princess, you’ve already told me last night—”
“And I lied.” I smirked, looking at Mingi challengingly as his eyebrows furrowed even more as he took some steps towards me.
“No, you didn’t—”
“I am related to the Queen, but I am not a princess, although I should be one.” There were a few snickers but I didn’t look to see from whom as I watched Mingi’s expression fall, and face contort into anger. It felt nice to have the upper hand for once, having tricked him into believing I was royalty. I chuckled, grinning as he came to a stop in front of me.
“In that case, throw her overboard.” My eyes widened at the Captain’s nonchalant sentence, attention already elsewhere as he went back to the wheel, looking out onto the sea.
“Hongjoong—” The red-haired woman started, but I cut her off as my heartbeat picked up again.
“I’m rich!” I exclaimed, looking between Mingi and the Captain, “My father can surely pay however much you ask of him. We are…filthy rich!”
Mingi chuckled, looking at me smugly, and it made me want to grab onto his manbun and yank on it.
“Is that so?” The Captain called, but looked rather uninterested as Seonghwa also seemed to turn his attention elsewhere, looking like he started patrolling, talking to the other pirates on deck. Yunho and the red-haired girl also went back to sparing, and I just now noticed that the man high up in the sky was watching everything unfold beneath him.
“I’ll take care of her, don’t worry, Hongjoong.” Mingi mockingly saluted towards the Captain before he gripped me by the nape and turned me around, forcing me to walk towards the stairs. I hissed and tried to get out of his grip, but Mingi just grunted in warning and made me walk down the stairs, leading me back to that God-awful room, probably.
            As the minutes went by, I started to realize that this man was just as stupid as any other one, not one complete or smart thought in his head as he stood glaring in my direction, seemingly having ran out of patience. I scoffed as I glared back at him, just as fed up with him as he was with me. As Mingi opened his mouth to speak, I quickly spoke up with a loud and clear voice.
“For the last time, Song Mingi, you are not chaining me to your goddamn bed!” My voice cracked at the end as I was turning borderline hysterical, body starting to shake. There was no way in hell that this man was chaining me to his dirty bed!
“And for the last time, Yoon Y/N, I am chaining you to my goddamn bed!” Mingi snapped back, his deep voice a few octaves higher as the huff he let out was loud, eyes ablaze. My jaw tensed and I crossed my arms in front of my chest, staring him down challengingly.
“If you touch me, I will break your fingers and then Lieutenant Kim will have your head for it—”
“Is that the man you were dancing with at that ridiculous ball?” Mingi cut me off, jaw tense like mine as his grip tightened around the chains he was holding in both hands. They looked heavy, and I refused to have those rusty things touching my skin.
“Why?” I smirked, uncrossing my arms, “Are you jealous?”
Mingi scoffed, rolling his eyes theatrically, “As if…you wish, darling.”
“As much as I love a little drama,” I smiled sweetly, raising my hand to look at my nails nonchalantly, rather unpleased to see the nail polish already peeling off. Soojin had always been quite incompetent when it came to applying nail polish, “I’d rather not have a stupid and incompetent pirate and a gorgeous but poor Lieutenant fighting over me—”
“How arrogant to think that’d we’d ever want to fight over you.” Mingi cut me off, snappy as he stormed up to me, glaring down at me. My lips curled into a mocking smirk as I grabbed his hands and squeezed them harder over the chain he was holding, making him hiss.
“Surely you didn’t take me hostage just because I’m rich,” I chuckled, trailing my forefinger from his wrist right up to his elbow, watching as Mingi gulped nervously, “If I wasn’t as beautiful as I am, you wouldn’t have even as much as glanced my way, pirate.”
Mingi seemed to fidget for a second, but he cleared his throat and looked at me intently, eyes narrowing, “You seem to think rather highly of yourself, princess, so let me set some things straight. In fact, I did not give two flying fucks about your or any other lady’s looks from that ball when I was looking for my next prey. I’m not here looking for a partner, I’m here looking for money. And whoever has the bigger wealth, is whoever I pick. Maybe this will humble you a little, darling, but you were the easiest prey last night as you had stupidly exposed yourself to everyone by leaving that God-awful ball…and you just made my job so much easier, thank you for that, peasant.”
I gasped at the last word, slapping Mingi’s exposed chest before pushing him backwards, glaring at him furiously as a wide smirk stretched onto his lips, watching me smugly and pleased of himself, while I tried to control my rage. How dare he disrespect me like that?! Who was he to say such things to me, a noble and higher up on the social anarchy?! He was the peasant here, not me.
“And a peasant must be put on chains, unless we want them causing any more problems—”
“A peasant,” I took a deep breath, trying to control the tremor in my voice, “doesn’t have to beg for others to give them money, to blackmail a poor father after kidnaping his daughter, nor does he have to think about how to fend for himself day after day—oh, wait! That is what a peasant does, pirate, sounds like you two have a lot more in common than I, a noble, and a peasant does. So who exactly are you calling a peasant here, idiot?”
Mingi’s jaw locked as he bit his lower lip, nodding his head wordlessly, staring down at the wooden floor, chains rattling in his grip as he shook his hands. I continued to hold my head high as Mingi slowly looked up, eyes ablaze and face turned into a scowl as a venomous expression spread over his face, “Excuse me, your highness, that not all of us are raised in puff and lavish. That not all of us have thirty servants fending for our mansions and castles, maids who wipe our asses because we don’t know how to do that ourselves, or chests filled with gold to the brim, awaiting to be spent on useless items, such as the newest dress the Queen thinks is fashionable. And now—shut up, Y/N, I’ve had enough of hearing your stupid voice and ignorant words! I’ll chain you up, and you will shut up, unless you want me to gag you as well.”
And then he suddenly marched up to me, the backs of my knees already pressing into the bed, leaving no space for me to run away. My eyebrows furrowed and I whined as he took hold of my left wrist forcefully, trying to push me down on the bed, but I held myself strong, glaring daggers in his face as we made eye contact. Mingi was visibly furious, a constant sneer on his face as he hissed, a silent warning in his eyes for me to stop. But I wouldn’t stop, did he think he could scare me with empty words? If he treated me like this, I would be his worst nightmare. And just as he went to grip my other hand to push me down on the bed, I moved faster, right hand going above his head and fingers tangling tightly in his manbun. Mingi’s eyes found mine, and for a second, he looked confused, but then he gasped as I yanked on his hair hard, tilting his head back as I made sure all of my fingers were tightly tangled into his blonde locks, nails pushing against his scalp.
“What the hell, Y/N!” He screamed, voice high pitched as the chains suddenly hitting the floor made a loud noise, making me cringe and whine in pain as they hit my bare toes. That would certainly bruise, and so, with a glare, I looked back at Mingi, who was grabbing my wrist with both hands now, trying to pull my hand away, only failing and making me yank more on his locks, “Hey, stop it!”
I scoffed and pulled his head lower, making Mingi’s back bend backwards as I stepped around him, pulling him forcefully after myself. Mingi was fighting back, but having to crouch down and walk at the same time didn’t allow him much choice, he couldn’t push me off himself. I didn’t know where I was headed, but walking him around the room like this perhaps taught him a lesson, so, I started walking us aimlessly, pulling harder and harder on his hair, Mingi’s whines turning into loud groans and hisses.
“Oh, you’re asking for it, Y/N, when I get my hands on you—”
“What, will you chain me to the bed?” I asked sweetly, abruptly stopping, Mingi crashing into my side. I leaned close to his face, grinning wickedly as I yanked on his hair again, which was surprisingly soft, making him grit his teeth at me, “Will you gag me and taunt me more? Poor little Mingi, his fragile ego hurt by a woman merely stating the truth—”
“You are a bitch.” I gasped and yanked him forward, sinking my other hand into his hair too, our bodies pressed against each other as Mingi struggled to keep up.
“Maybe I am a bitch, but when I get back to my papa, I will continue on living my life like nothing happened, while you’ll have a target on your head that will make you and your crew perish,” I grinned evilly, Mingi’s face twisting with another wave of anger, “I wouldn’t say you got much out of this whole ordeal, Mingi.”
To my surprise, he stopped struggling against me, his grip loose against my wrists, making my eyebrows furrow. I thought I had finally knocked some sense into him, but suddenly his hands moved, and I felt his large palm against the back of my head, long fingers tangled into my hair, silver rings digging into my scalp. My eyes widened when I realized what he was about to do, and a loud gasp left my lips as Mingi finally yanked on my hair, tilting my head back. I yelped loudly, tears springing into my eyes as he used more force than I did on him, the fragile strands pulling my scalp harshly, making it burn.
“How does it feel to get your own treatment, princess?” Mingi’s tone was mocking, but he still hissed when my fingers flexed, “I bet your maids hate your fucking guts, Y/N. You’re horrible—”
“Say something new if you want to actually insult me—” I yelped again as Mingi yanked harder, the corset still tight around my body, not allowing me to bend my back anymore backwards, “Stop it!”
“If you let me go first—”
“Never.” I hissed, making Mingi groan.
“You’re so fucking stubborn—I won’t chain you to the bed, for fuck’s sake, just let me go!” Mingi screamed, voice raw and annoyed, aggressively puffing his chest out into mine.
“You first!” I screamed back, adamant on not letting go first. It would give him the upper hand, I wasn’t stupid! Mingi groaned loudly and suddenly the burn was gone from my scalp, his fingers untangled from my locks, hand gone from my head. As he opened his mouth, I did the same and Mingi hissed, standing up to his full height, glaring daggers at me. My heart seemed to jump into my throat as we stood pressed chest to chest, our breathing rather ragged, jaw gritted and glare sharp, the tall man looming over me.
“You vex me.” Mingi hissed, fisting his palms at his side.
“And you irk me.” I hissed back, looking him in the eyes with a defying look. He just shook his head and stepped back, leaving me rather confused as he walked to his closet, not before kicking the chains to the side, and opened the door. It almost came off and he had to steady it with both hands to stop it from falling down, but suddenly he dug inside and when he pulled his hand back, he turned his head to throw me a glance. And then, clothes were thrown in my face and my eyebrows furrowed as I scrambled to catch the items before they fell, giving Mingi a confused look.
“Change out of your clothes, you stink.” I rolled my eyes before looking down at the foreign clothing items. Were those pants? I’ve never worn such thing before, they were for men…but then again, that red-headed woman up on the deck wore pants as well. Was this the latest trend? Couldn’t be, I never heard the Queen saying anything about it.
“I don’t stink,” I gave Mingi a look as I placed the clothes on the desk, placing my hands on my hips, “However, you do.”
Mingi scoffed, mirroring my stance, “Oh, really? My apologies, princess, but we’ve run out of milk and roses a week ago. I will make sure to pick these items up the next time we dock down, cannot go around smelling like dead fish and sweat, now, can I?”
“At least you’re aware.” I muttered with a smirk, making Mingi close his eyes for a second as he inhaled and exhaled, suddenly looking tired as he opened his eyes.
“I don’t stink.” He snapped and I chuckled, grabbing the white shirt to inspect it. I brought it up to my nose, and was rather taken aback to find it smelling like vanilla. My eyes found Mingi’s and his eyebrows were raised as he stared at me, but I refused to voice my thoughts. How could a pirate smell like vanilla?
“Well,” I snapped, placing the shirt down again, “Will you turn around? I have to change.”
Mingi made to pretend he was thinking, pressing his forefinger into his plump lower lip, his eyebrows furrowing cutely, “Hmm, let me think—no!”
The smirk on his lips made my skin crawl as he shamelessly racked his eyes over my body, making me feel suddenly naked under his darkening gaze despite being fully clothed. I gulped, aware of my cheeks suddenly flushing, but not out of embarrassment. I was flustered and…before I could dwell more on it, I grabbed a book from the table and flung it at Mingi, making him grunt as the book’s spine crashed into his exposed chest.
“Heavens, you’re so infuriating.” He muttered as he rolled his eyes, finally turning his back to me. I smiled in triumph and then quickly went to undo the buttons of the dress at the front, careful with my actions as the dress was valuable and had sentimental value to me. The fabric was soft and fragile and once the last button was undone, I carefully slid the sleeves off my hands, skin covered in goosebumps as the temperature was rather low in Mingi’s atrocious room. I was careful as I finally stepped out of the green dress, folding it in two and placing it onto the back of the chair. I tensed when I heard movement coming from Mingi’s direction, but when I looked, he was still facing me with his back and he seemed to have opened the book as he hummed, probably flipping through the pages. It’s rather peculiar that a pirate is interested in literature. The books on his desk were almost identical to the one’s in my father’s library from the forbidden section, my favorite ones. I quickly unclasped the item that Soojin and Soyeon called the ‘upside-down basket’, the one that made the skirts of my dresses big, princess like. I raised it overhead and placed it onto the ground next to me before pushing my stockings down my legs, glad that my skin would finally stop being itchy. My undergarment was covered by a silk gown that reached mid-thigh and the last thing I had to get rid off before I could wear Mingi’s clothes was the corset. I reached around myself, feeling up my back to find the strings, and then pulled. But nothing happened. I sighed quietly, pulling again and hoping I could untangle it, but nothing happened. The corset was still as tight as ever, my hands couldn’t reach far back, I couldn’t do this on my own. My eyes ventured towards Mingi, but I quickly shook my head at the ridiculous idea. I’d rather die than have Mingi help me…but then again, if I had to wear this corset for much longer, I might just die. My torso felt numb, and it ached as the corset dug into my skin uncomfortably, my breasts also aching from being pushed up for such long time. I sighed again and looked in Mingi’s direction, biting my lower lip. He surely wouldn’t do anything inappropriate if I were to ask him to help, right?
I cleared my throat and shuffled uncomfortably, “Mingi…”
There was no response at all, it seemed like he hadn’t heard me, “Mingi.”
“What?” His tone was snappy, and I licked my lips, looking at the floor.
“I, uh—can you undo my corset?” I asked quietly and glanced up, watching Mingi’s body tense as silence followed for a brief moment.
“Can I what?” He asked bewildered.
“Unlace my corset, Mingi.” I snapped, impatient, “I can’t do it myself; my hands don’t reach that far behind.”
“Oh.” Mingi muttered and he took a deep breath before wordlessly nodding his head. I wasn’t exactly prepared as he turned around, cheeks slightly red as he seemed to be looking at my face only, biting his lower lip nervously as he slowly approached me. I averted my eyes and cleared my throat awkwardly, swirling around as I grabbed my own arms, rubbing at my cold skin, trying to offer myself comfort as I heard Mingi come to a stop behind me. There was a soft thud and I glanced back to see the book placed on the table.
“Alright, I’ll unlace your corset.” His raspy voice was low as it was quiet, and my body tensed when I felt his fingers brush against the exposed skin of my back. I had to remind myself to breathe as I was too hyper focused on every move of Mingi’s, the softness his fingers worked with as he started undoing the knots, gently pulling the strings apart. I licked my lips as his finger brushed against my heated skin, untangling the top two knots, already bringing even the littlest relief to my body as I exhaled harshly.
“Did I hurt you?” Mingi asked quietly, stopping. I quickly shook my head as my fingers dug into the skin of my arms, trying to find a steady breath as my heart was beating faster and faster. My face felt hot and I knew it was probably red.
“No, I’m fine.” I whispered, and Mingi grunted once before I felt his fingers move again, slightly yanking my body backwards as he probably couldn’t untangle a knot that easily. Soyeon and Soojin always tied my corsets tightly and expertly, otherwise I would’ve fired them long ago. I cleared my throat as Mingi started humming quietly, suddenly aware that his body was close to mine as his warmth engulfed mine, luring me in with his vanilla scent, mixed with the sea and gunpowder, which was more prominent now than it was last night. My cheeks flushed even more when I remembered the way my nose had pressed against his exposed collarbone, breathing in deep his scent, finding comfort in it and the way Mingi’s larger body seemed to hold me so securely, making me feel the safest I ever have. I gulped, rather loudly, and felt even more knots come loose as suddenly the pressure was taken off my ribs, allowing me to breathe freely, my lungs finally able to fill with air to the fullest. I gasped quietly, palms balling up into fists as Mingi’s fingers brushed against my clothed back, and it arched subconsciously as my skin erupted in goosebumps. I heard a loud gulp from behind and tried to ignore the way I could hear Mingi breathing, making me shudder involuntarily. He suddenly sniffed loudly as he undid more knots, lower ribs freed too, and I closed my eyes as I exhaled quietly in relief, body no longer straining and aching from the restriction the garment offered. I smiled in content, body relaxing and unaware that I leaned back against Mingi, arms hanging limply next to my body as I relished in the feeling that taking off the corset meant after so many hours of wearing it. However, I flinched when I felt Mingi’s large hands wrap around my waist, firmly gripping me. I froze, unblinking and unbreathing as I waited for his next move, which to my surprise, was to yank the corset apart, strings coming undone, slipping from their bindings. My eyes widened a little and I quickly stood up straight again, confused as to why I was disappointed that Mingi no longer held onto me. I felt Mingi slipping the corset upwards and I raised my arms, accustomed to this due to my maid always helping me, and allowed Mingi to take the corset off. I whirled around, about to thank him and act like nothing had happened, but the look on Mingi’s face was startling for a second. His own cheeks seemed to be flushed and he was biting his lower lip, eyebrows slightly furrowed and eyes darker than their usual color, pupils blown wide. I gulped as I looked at him, pondering my next move as I reached for the corset, muttering a quiet ‘thank you’ as Mingi released the fabric. He didn’t say anything and I felt myself mesmerized, unable to move quite yet as Mingi reached forward, fingers lightly tangling at my sides into the silk fabric of the short gown. The thin strap had slipped off my left shoulder, and as Mingi’s eyes racked over all the skin exposed to him, I finally realized I was standing almost as good as naked in front of him. My eyes widened and I took a big step back, averting my eyes as Mingi coughed, rubbing his nose before his fingers tangled into his hair, undoing his manbun. His hair was messy, but he looked off to the side as he quickly retied the messy bun, caused by me, and cleared his throat.
“Uh, finish up quickly.” He sounded almost breathless as he swiftly turned, offering me privacy once again. I hummed and nodded even if he didn’t see me, settling into motion quickly. I threw the corset onto the bed and grabbed his white shirt, pulling it over my shoulders and almost chuckled at how big it was on me. But I quickly started buttoning it up, making sure that my chest was covered well as I stopped at the last button underneath my chin. The shirt was as long as my gown, they both reached mid-thigh. I grabbed the pants and gave them a distasteful look before slipping my legs into each pant leg, the feeling foreign as my exposed legs were instantly wrapped up in warmth, the feeling not as repulsive as I had imagined it to be. I tucked in the shirt and glared at the end of the pants, pooling around my feet. Despite not being short myself, Mingi was too tall for me to comfortably wear his clothes, but I did appreciate it…even if he probably thought I didn’t. I watched the front of the pants in confusion, wondering if the lace was to lace them up like a corset.
“Uh, how do I lace this up?” I asked in confusion, making Mingi turn around, looking just as confused. His face flashed with amusement as he caught onto what I meant, and he walked close again, a small amused smile on his lips.
“Yeah, like this.” My skin tingled when our fingers brushed against each other and my cheeks instantly flushed, I was glad Mingi was focused on the lace and not my face. He pulled tightly, and I gasped as I was yanked towards him, having to steady myself on his broad shoulders, making Mingi chuckle as he cast me a quick glance. Lacing up these pants was a lot easier and quicker as I watched Mingi demonstrate it, something I would be able to do on my own too from now on. When he was done he patted my waist twice, and I tried to keep my eyes off his face as my heart lurched at the action again, stepping back and crouching down to fix the problem at my feet as I rolled the pants up. Mingi watched me with amusement written all over his face.
“You’re a dwarf.” I heard him say with a short laugh, making me roll my eyes.
“No, you’re a giant.” I said as I stood up straight, hands on my hips, “So, do I look okay? I assume you don’t have a mirror here, so you’ll have to tell me yourself.”
Mingi’s eyes ran up and down my body, taking me in, and I found myself blushing again, but his words were quick to chase away the fluster I felt, “Nah, you’re hideous. Don’t worry, at least the sirens won’t want you.”
“Sirens?” I asked with a pout, eyebrows furrowing, “I thought only mermaids existed.”
“Oh, Jongho will be elated to talk to someone about all of that, come.” And before I could even put up a fight that I didn’t want this Jongho guy talking to me, Mingi was pulling me after himself, fingers intertwining with mine once again.
Tumblr media
            Three days have passed since I was taken hostage, and my papa still hadn’t paid up. Did he not love me anymore because I misbehaved and left the ball without his permission? Did he not love his little daughter enough to bring her back to the safety of his mansion? Was Mingi asking for too much? No, that couldn’t have been the case, we are rich. My father could pay however much Mingi asked in exchange for me, so that couldn’t have been it. But if that was true, why was I still here? It made me huff desperately as I twirled the golden coin between my fingers, looking at it intently. These past three days had been quite horrible. There was nothing I could do on this ship, everyone was rude, dirty, and quite smelly. They did the same things every single day, and refused to let me join them, throwing insults such like, ‘I was a spoiled brat who never shut up’ or that ‘I was rude and had no manners’. Those words were bold as they were coming from some nasty old pirates. The only acceptable man on this wrenched ship seemed to be that Jongho guy, who happened to be fascinated with folklore, and seemed rather eager to tell me everything he knew about it. I wasn’t quite interested per se of what he had to say most of times, but it took my mind off the pressing issues at hand. That being that I was bored out of my mind, and that I hadn’t had a normal milk bath in four days, and that the salty air had cracked my skin, drying it out. Every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in the sad of an excuse of a bathroom they had on this ship, I jumped, and once even almost cried, barely believing that my beautiful skin was now burnt around my nose due to the harsh sun I got exposed to daily when I was up on deck. I wasn’t doing well; my thoughts were turning grim as well. I just wanted to be back at my mansion, surrounded by the cool air, the spacious rooms, my books, the nice perfumes wafting through the rooms, the beautiful garden, and my father. I couldn’t live like this anymore. I was supposed to be pampered, not mocked, insulted, and ignored.
And Mingi was making the whole experience even worse, annoying me at any given chance, playing with me, and taunting me. Yesterday, he refused to let me have lunch, stating that ‘I had misbehaved that morning, and now I was being punished for it’. If it weren’t for Taeri, the red-haired girl, then Mingi would’ve locked me in his room, leaving me banging on the door and screaming after him. Despite not liking most of the pirates on this pathetic excuse of a ship, Taeri seemed to be quite enjoyable. She was soft spoken and very nurturing, and she checked in on me every morning, making sure that Mingi didn’t make me uncomfortable. I found that rather generous of her, and quickly begged her to let me be her roommate for as long as I had to stay on this ship, but she nicely let me down, telling me that she was, unfortunately, already sharing a room with Yunho. I found that rather peculiar, but after close observation of the two, I came to the realization that they were in love. I have never felt that emotion, but based on all the books I have read, their romance looked exactly the same like in those beautiful stories. Their eyes were filled with warmth, and Yunho would never stop smiling when Taeri was next to him, and I didn’t fail to notice how protective he was of her as well. Perhaps I was jealous that Taeri managed to find her lover, meanwhile me, a very desirable woman was still waiting for her prince. It was rather sad, but I decided not to dwell more on it while I was on this pirate ship, I would find my prince surely once I get back to my old life.
Currently, Mingi and I were crammed up in his small and ugly room, a floorboard near his bed cracked in, which I have discovered two days ago with disdain as my foot went through the hole, ankle almost getting stuck as I screeched for Mingi to get it out, fearful of all the insects and rats that would touch my skin. But Mingi, like the asshat he was, just stood laughing and making fun of me, walking closer, and mocking me until I broke down in tears, making his eyes widen as he finally crouched down and gingerly pulled my leg out of the hole, muttering something about me being overly dramatic before he left the room, offering me time to change into day wear clothes. I was lucky with Taeri being here, her clothes were almost a perfect fit as she was nice enough to borrow me one of her leather pants and two shirts. However, Mingi refused to let me wear Taeri’s shirts, and hid them on top of his closet, where I couldn’t reach them. He was a menace and he loved tormenting me, so deciding to turn this against him, ignoring every particle in my body screaming at me to act like the lady I was, I went ahead and unbuttoned the top buttons of Mingi’s shirt each morning, leaving my cleavage exposed, the silky gown the only clothing item that covered my breasts. The first time Mingi saw me, he turned red like a tomato, and spluttered on about me being inappropriate as he marched up to me and quickly buttoned the shirt up, giving me a warning look to keep it that way while we were up on deck. But, of course, I didn’t listen to him, and to my utmost disgust, I had a slimy pirate grabbing after me, spluttering disgusting things in my face about my body and what he was going to do to me, until I raised my fist up high and connected it against his wrinkly nose, hearing a loud crack. Mingi was by our side in a moment, reprimanding me for my actions, up until I told him why I had done what I had done, shocked to find Mingi throwing another punch at the old pirate, blood flowing down his face after the second blow to his nose. The Captain had rudely called for us to stop and scramble off, calling for a man named Yeosang, apparently the crew’s doctor. And if I thought today I would have a normal day while Mingi dragged me up on deck in the morning after the both of us got changed, I was extremely wrong. I had pulled my hair in a low bun and was watching Yunho and Taeri spare, eyes following their moves curiously, wondering what it felt like holding a sword. Mingi had abandoned me, apparently having to help Yeosang in carrying some heavy barrels from some chamber under deck, up on deck, both of them sweaty by the time they got up. I was sitting on a barrel, playing with a golden coin I had borrowed from Jongho last night at dinner while he was too busy showing me the drawings of this one supposed Siren that he had met. It was rather hard to believe, I had thought the man was simply crazy, but Seonghwa was there to confirm, that they indeed have captured a Siren not too long ago, but due to some issues with another pirate crew, the Siren escaped.
I had sighed loudly, the wind carrying it away, as my eyes fixated longingly on the shore, which seemed to be even more far away than it was when I had arrived on this ship. Jongho had said that the Navy’s fleet had been scouting the waters, having a hunch that perhaps I had been kidnaped by the pirates, so we had to sail out a little bit further, where they wouldn’t find us. The thought was disheartening, knowing that Lieutenant Kim wouldn’t be able to save me. I had quite quickly grown bored of watching Yunho and Taeri spare, so I jumped off the barrel, and walked towards an opened chest, finding it filled with different sized weapons, some big shotguns in it as well. I leaned over and brushed my fingers against the sharp blade, gripping the handle of the dagger curiously, dropping it in exchange to hold onto the end of a shotgun. I had seen weapons before, my father would hunt every now and then, but I was never allowed to hold one. As my curiosity got the better of me, and nobody was actually paying attention to me, I took the shotgun in my hands and straightened up, surprised by its actual weight. I pursed my lips as I raised it up, narrowing my eyes as I continued to inspect the shotgun, noticing that it was covered in gunpowder. I suddenly realized that Mingi smelled the same, and it made me wonder why that was. Could he be the one who wielded these shotguns? But before I could dwell more on that thought, firm arms suddenly wrapped around my middle, pulling me into a sturdy body, and I gasped loudly as I almost dropped the shotgun.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Mingi’s deep voice whispered into my ear, his lips brushing against the skin just barely, “Might have to up the sum for daddy dearest.”
My heart was beating like crazy, hands slightly shaking from the fright he had given me, but also from the sudden proximity, and body pressing into mine. Mingi didn’t seem to be too bothered by the lack of space between us, and I cleared my throat, hands tightening around the shotgun.
“Maybe I should try and see how this weapon works,” I smirked, turning my head to look up at Mingi, “I choose you to be my target.”
Mingi chuckled, lips pulling into a dashing smile, and for a second I forgot how to breathe. His once long blonde hair was now extremely short and spikey, sticking up in all directions. Two days ago, it came quite as a shock seeing him before dinner as he had walked inside our shared room, muttering about how he didn’t want to risk getting his hair pulled like I had done, therefore, he got rid of his long locks. At first I had thought he was crazy for cutting his beautiful, soft, long hair, but one day later, I realized maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. His already sharp features were even more highlighted now, eyes appearing sharper, his cheekbones high and well-defined, certainly attention grabbing, and his jawline chiseled. It also made his tall nose stand out more, the little mole underneath his eye and close to his jawline only adding to his charm.
“Hmm, I thought you were my target, princess.” Mingi muttered, eyebrows raising as he snapped me out of my thoughts, suddenly aware of how badly my face was burning. And it wasn’t from the sun.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “I’m hardly a target, love, I could fight you anytime. I thought you had seen how I punched that old fool.”
“Yeah,” Mingi smirked, raising an eyebrow as his arms tightened around my middle, making my breath hitch, “But that’s an old man, not a young one full with strength and life. Just because I let you have your way around, doesn’t mean I’m weaker than you—or that you can overpower me, darling. It’s quite the opposite, actually.”
As I opened my mouth to retort back, I was suddenly very forcefully pushed forward as Mingi veered me slightly to the side so the chest wouldn’t be in the way, and suddenly, I was caged in between the railing and Mingi’s body. My hips dug into the sturdy wood harshly, making me groan as one of Mingi’s hands slowly slipped up my torso, grabbing my jaw harshly. I hissed and tried to yank my head free, but I couldn’t as Mingi wasn’t budging. My heart beat frantically as my grip on the shotgun tightened, trying to focus on what was happening. On what Minig’s real intention was by doing this, trying to find a way out.
“Cat got your tongue now, Y/N?” Mingi whispered, voice low and close to my ear, rather sinister. I gulped, but remained silent, refusing to back down, “I could overthrow you without even lifting a finger, precious, and you wouldn’t even be able to scream for help.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I opened my mouth to do just that, knowing that Taeri was still on deck, but suddenly the hand holding my jaw tightly slipped to my neck and Mingi’s fingers covered by rings suddenly curled around my throat, squeezing just enough to make my body tense as my air was cut off. I started to panic as Mingi just chuckled and watched me struggle against him, his eyes glued to the side of my face. I gripped his left arm with my hand and dug my nails into his skin, hopeful that it would make him release me, but he just chuckled and applied more pressure to my throat, making my eyes widen as I realized I was slowly starting to choke. Caged in, unable to push him off or even move away, I realized I had to find another way to break free. But my brain was losing air and my body had started shaking, I didn’t know what to do. I could only hope someone would notice and finally stop him, but it seemed like nobody cared. Not even Taeri, so, I had to save myself again. And so, as a last-minute desperate thought, I raised my left leg high and brought it down hard on Mingi’s foot, hopefully cracking his toes. He let out a loud howl, instantly releasing me and stepping back, making me double over as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, heartbeat fast and skin burning. I threw the shotgun on the floor and gripped the railing hard, feeling tears spring to my eyes. The audacity this stupid pirate had, made me beyond furious.
“You might be stronger,” I hissed as I turned to glare at Mingi, “But I’m smarter, you asshat!”
And with that, I had stormed off, tears rolling down my cheeks as I tried to calm my breathing and reassure myself that nothing actually has happened to me, that Mingi was being an idiot and was only trying to piss me off, which he had succeeded in doing. So, hours later, he was paying for it. I hadn’t spoken to him since that incident this morning, and after he finished whatever stupid duties he had on this stupid ship, he had come down to his room. He had paused in the doorway when he saw me sitting at his desk, feet up as I sat low in his chair, playing with the borrowed coin from Jongho. Mingi said nothing, but his eyes slightly narrowed as he walked further inside, coming closer. Despite my heartbeat picking up again, I ignored him, slightly surprised that he left me alone for once. He grabbed a book and very loudly jumped towards his bed, groaning as his large body got tangled in the sheets smelling like vanilla. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, and found him leaned against the wall, feet dangling off his bed as he had opened the book, lips sucked in as his eyebrows furrowed. He wore a black tank top today, his muscular biceps on display, a shiny golden forearm bracelet hugging his left bicep tightly. It was a sight that threw me off guard, only to realize that I quite liked the visual it offered. Mingi’s narrow waist was once again highlighted by the thick leather belt tied around it, the black tank top tucked inside his matching leather pants. He had a pearl necklace at the base of his neck, hugging the skin tightly, and another longer one that reached between his pecks with a moonstone as a pendant.
I smirked, an ingenious thought forming in my mind, serving as revenge for what he had done to me this morning. I pushed the chair a little bit further back, making it screech deliciously against the wooden floorboard, quickly averting my eyes when Mingi glanced my way over his book. I crossed my legs over one another as I relocated them towards the edge of the desk, sighing loudly as I slipped down lower in the chair. I flipped the golden coin between my fingers, tapping my nails against it occasionally. I checked to see Mingi’s reaction, but he seemed unbothered so far, so I smirked, and let out another sigh, louder this time. I licked my lips and groaned as I threw my head back, pouting in the process, staring out the small round window. I felt eyes on me for a second, but I ignored Mingi as I continued with another loud sigh. Then, I paused, making sure he was reading again before I started tapping the desk with the heel of my right leg, hitting the edge of it just the way I had wanted. I chose a steady rhythm for it, sighing every so often, putting the next step of my plan into action.
“What is my papa up to right now…” I muttered with a pout, “I wonder why he hadn’t paid up yet…”
I sighed loudly again, hitting the desk rather harshly, the sound louder. There was the flip of the page, Mingi didn’t react—yet, “Is there possibly something wrong?”
I hit my heel against the desk again, “Did something happen to my papa as well? I wouldn’t be surprised if these ugly and stupid pirates somehow got to him too…”
I heard Mingi shuffling on the bed before he cleared his throat, but I just continued acting oblivious as I was pouting, still staring out the window, “Or what if he never got the letter…oh, no…I’m stuck here forever!”
I started sniffing, making quiet crying sounds as Mingi cleared his throat again, eyes set on me with a glare. But it didn’t faze me as I quickly shook my head, taking a deep breath, my heel coming down against the desk rather harshly, “What if…what if he doesn’t love me enough to save me?!”
I sniffed loudly, tapping my leg against the desk louder and more frequently, stare boring into the coin in my hand as Mingi huffed loudly, but didn’t speak up just yet. Fine, then I would try this in a different way, “God, I’ll never see Lieutenant Kim ever again! How I wish I never turned him down! Then I wouldn’t be in this God-awful place, rotting away, my beauty hidden from the world…”
There was a scoff but as my eyes snapped to Mingi, he was looking at his book, his mouth pulled into a sneer. I smirked, tapping the desk lighter now, eyes boring into Mingi’s handsome face, “Oh, the luxuries he had promised me. I should have said yes, he is the perfect match for me. He cares for me so deeply! He would’ve done anything for me—I wouldn’t even be here now with this—irritating, smelly, ugly, and dumb pirate, who’s room is falling apart and smells like rotten fish.”
Mingi’s jaw locked as he licked his lips, eyes narrowing as they quickly snapped up, making me avert mine as I sighed dreamily, eyebrows in a frown. The boat was rocking rather softly today, the waves not as harsh as yesterday, “Oh, and this terrible ship is so awful! Every day I get more and more homesick. I wish that my papa would just—ow!”
I yelped loudly as something hard hit my head, making me bolt up from the chair, eyes wide as I whipped my head around to look at Mingi. He was glaring at me as he had his arms crossed in front of his chest, biceps bulging.
“Just shut up, Y/N, heavens, I can’t listen to your annoying voice for any longer!” He hissed; voice irritated as he glared daggers at me. My disdain turned into amusement as I leaned my hip against his desk, smirking at him.
“Oh, poor little Mingi, bothered by a fragile woman who can’t even defend herself.” I mocked him, pushing my lower lip out in a fake pout, “God forbid he can’t read his stupid fairytale book, or else he’ll turn into a whiney toddler—”
“I’m one fucking second away of gagging you, Y/N.” Mingi hissed, pushing himself off the wall. I rolled my eyes with a snort.
“Your threats had been all empty so far, love.” I smirked, flipping through his book lazily, “You’ll have to do more if you want to scare me into silence.”
“Oh, yeah?” Mingi’s voice dropped and my eyes snapped to him when I heard the bed creaking, slightly widening at the annoyance clear on his face. As he went to stand up, I panicked and did the first thing that came to mind, threw his book at his face. Mingi barely dodged it, eyes widening as he looked offended.
“Hey! Stop throwing my books at me!” He exclaimed, glaring at me as I stormed up to him, towering over his sitting form.
“You started it now!” I hissed and reached around him, grabbing the book off the bed to hit him over the head. Mingi gasped and tried to shield his head at my continuous attacks, making me smirk when he couldn’t swat at my hand to make me stop. It was rather amusing, watching the tall ‘scary’ pirate trying to get away from a smaller woman, but unable to do so. I started laughing as Mingi whined loudly, leaning backwards and moving his torso in funny ways to escape me.
“Stop it!” But I didn’t care to listen to him as I continued laughing, finding the situation amusing, until I felt something soft hitting my side forcefully. I gasped, eyes going wide as I froze, staring down at Mingi. I had placed one knee up on the bed to be able to reach his retreating form, and now it was Mingi smirking at me as he held his pillow in his hands, raising it overhead to hit me with it. The impact left me huffing loudly as I dropped the book on the floor and dived for the only other pillow before Mingi could get his hands on it too and leave me defenseless, twisting my body so that I could hit him with it. It made contact with his face and Mingi groaned as I started giggling, hitting him some more as I got on the bed on both of my knees, amused that Mingi couldn’t hit back as he had to recoil from my constant pillow attacks. But then, he was suddenly straightening up and throwing a menacing glare at me, which made me laugh harder, as he started hitting my side again. My stomach started hurting from laughing too much, but I couldn’t stop as Mingi continued to whine and ask me to stop while I continued hitting his back with the pillow. He wasn’t even getting hurt, so I didn’t understand why he was so whiney about it. It was fun.
He released the pillow with one hand and tried to grab at my waist, but I kept hitting his arm with my pillow, making him huff and puff in irritation. Then suddenly, he threw his pillow to the ground, and as I smirked in victory and raised my arms to hit him over the head with my own, he lunged forward, making me yelp as his body crashed into mine. I dropped the pillow and wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt us falling backwards on his bed, my back hitting the soft sheets soon enough. My chest was raising and falling rapidly, and so was Mingi’s, as his breath hit the side of my neck, sending me into another set of giggles as I stared up at the ceiling amused. Mingi’s hands gripped my waist firmly, his weight crushing me as his lean body melted into mine. My legs fell open on both sides of his hips, and as my giggles finally stopped, I could hear Mingi snickering as well, his warmth engulfing mine, and making my cheeks burn once I realized the position we were in. I had never had a man all over myself, certainly not while lying in bed, with him nestled between my legs and almost laughing into my ear. The scent of vanilla mixed with gunpowder was strong, and I sniffed quietly, unconsciously taking a deeper whiff of Mingi’s familiar scent. I gulped loudly, arms tightening around Mingi’s neck for a second before I slowly withdrew my arms, hands dragging against the skin of his neck. I felt the silver clasp of his pearl choker before my hands continued on tracing his shoulders, until the fell on both sides of my head. Mingi slowly pushed himself up, resting on his elbows as his eyes ran over my face. I gulped again, my stomach flipping weirdly as Mingi shuffled a little, his lower half pressing into mine, making me gasp quietly as Mingi’s eyes bore into mine. I licked my lips, watching as Mingi’s eyes dropped onto them, his own mouth slightly opening as his breathing got heavier. My eyebrows furrowed as he bit his lower lip, head very slowly lowering as he glanced back up in my eyes, my heart beating so fast I could feel it in my neck. But as his hot breath hit my face, I realized that whatever we were doing was unethical and would ruin my purity surely, so I acted on impulse. My left hand raised and I opened my fist, dangling Mingi’s pearl choker between our faces. He suddenly froze, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at the choker bewildered before looking back down at me, a questioning look on his face.
“What?” He muttered quietly, touching his neck with his left hand lightly, as if to make sure that I did indeed take his pearl necklace without him noticing. I chuckled as I smiled at him cheekily, just shrugging as I played with the necklace, admiring it for a second. But my amusement was quickly gone as Mingi gave me a long stare, a smirk slowly blooming on his face as he raised his left hand, a golden hairpin clear as day in his hand. My mouth dropped open as I stared at it, raising my hand to touch my, now nonexistent, bun. When did he pull it out of my hair? And how? Nobody could get it out of my hair without pulling on the strands painfully, not even Soojin or Soyeon.
“How?” I whispered impressed, making Mingi shrug as he smirked proudly.
“I have my ways.” He winked, and then suddenly pushed himself off me, dropping the hairpin on my stomach. He cleared his throat as he got to his feet, ruffling his spikey blonde hair before patting his clothes down, extending his hand out towards me. I placed the necklace in his hand and watched as he quickly clasped it back around his neck.
“I’ll go help Yunho now, don’t wander around, San isn’t in a good mood today.” Mingi instructed as I sat up, twirling the hairpin in my hands.
“Who’s San?” I asked confused, and Mingi paused in the doorway.
“He’s…not someone you want to meet, so, please, stay here.” His tone was the most serious I had heard him use, and I nodded in understanding, “I’ll send Taeri to entertain you.”
“Thank you.” I flashed him a small smile, and he was out the door, leaving me with a frantic beating heart, and a hotness all over my body that I had never felt before. What was Song Mingi doing to me?
            It would seem like today wasn’t out day. Arguments would ensue too often throughout the day, and I could only blame Mingi for it as he always found something to bother me with. If the pathetic scare he tried giving me this morning wasn’t enough, he had went off on a rant right before dinner that I was taking up all of his space, and barely offered him any privacy. He also accused me of stealing a few of his precious jewelry, which I had not done as I had zero wishes to steal anything that belonged to this dumb pirate. And despite seeing said jewelry around Yunho’s wrist and neck during dinner, Mingi made no effort to apologize to me for the accusations he’s made earlier. And if that wasn’t enough to put me in a bad mood, certainly him telling this other girl on the ship, Jung Hana, that I was a nuisance and stuck-up brat, so she shouldn’t even bother talking to me, set me off as I had slammed the silver folk down on the table, whipping my head around as I flashed Mingi a deep glare.
“Would you stop trying to veer everyone away from me?!” I had snapped, voice high pitched, “Maybe I’m not the problem here, Mingi, but you.”
Mingi had snorted, spoon in his mouth as he had taken a bite of his dinner, “Sure, there’s no possible way that a spoiled princess is the problem instead of a humble pirate, who’s trying to simply live his life—”
“A rather pathetic excuse of a life.” I cut him off, unaware of the eyes on the two of us, “And you’re far from being humble, Song Mingi. You always try to bring me down, but you fail to realize that you’re just as horrible, arrogant, and annoying as I am, you asshat. Telling Yeosang yesterday that despite being a doctor for so many years he was quite shit at stitching people up, berating Jongho for having his head in the clouds instead of taking his duties more seriously, laughing at Taeri when she failed to lift that horribly heavy chest filled with weapons, and even telling your own Captain that his decision making had been questionable lately, are certainly out of good intention, right, Mingi? And not because you’re just an arrogant man who thinks highly of himself, certainly not looking down on the people around him?”
Mingi’s jaw had clenched as he gripped the spoon tighter in his hand, knuckles whitening, “You know nothing about me, and I advise you shut up if you don’t want to become shark dinner.”
“Oh, spare me, Mingi.” I hissed, nose flaring, “Unless you mean what you say, stop wasting everyone’s air.”
“Get up!” Mingi’s voice was suddenly deep as it boomed around us, making a few pirates flinch as they weren’t bothered enough to watch the exchange between the two of us, “Get the fuck up, right now!”
“You will not tell me what to do, you filthy—” I gasped as Mingi grabbed my bicep and yanked me up to my feet harshly, making my eyes widen. I pulled on my arm, but his grip tightened as he tried to make me step over the bench we had been sitting on, but I wouldn’t budge as I held onto the table. Somebody cleared their throat, but my eyes were set on Mingi only, my face red from anger as my heart started racing. His eyes had significantly darkened, and his breathing was heavy, eyes narrow slits. Gone was the playful and arrogant Mingi, instead a frightening man stood in his place, probably finally ready to throw me overboard as he had reached his limit.
“And you will learn your lesson tonight, princess.” Mingi hissed, making me tumble almost to the floor as he pulled on my arm harshly, forcing me to step over the bench.
“Song Mingi.” It was clear who’s voice it was, Yunho sounded slightly concerned, “Stop.”
But neither Mingi nor I were paying attention to anyone but the other, “Do you think I don’t hate this as much as you do, Mingi? You ripped me away from my life and forced me to live on this—ship filled with pirates, who would love to do bad things to me—and you expect me to just listen to you and respect you?”
“Have I given you any reasons not to?!” Mingi’s voice raised as he closed the gap between our bodies, his hot breath fanning against my face, “Have I treated you like any of those pirates? Haven’t I been looking out for you?! Haven’t I been keeping you safe?”
“You kidnapped me!” I screamed and tried to push him away, but he didn’t even flinch.
“For your money!” Mingi screamed back, “I demanded nothing else of you when I could’ve! I could’ve done horrible things to you, and I didn’t.”
“And do you want me to bow down, and thank you for that?” I scoffed, sneering at him, “You want me to thank you for acting like a human being with me?”
“Yes, you could fix your attitude starting there.” Mingi snapped, and I bit my lip in frustration, uncomfortable now that I realized everyone was watching us, gaping at us. I didn’t want to do this anymore; I don’t even understand why we had to snap at each other every single time a little inconvenience happened.
“Excuse me if my papa failed to teach me how to apologize, because I will be not apologizing to you when you only insult me all the time.” I tried to yank my arm free again, but Mingi still wasn’t budging. His eyebrows furrowed and he leaned down, looking me in the eyes.
“When have I insulted you?” He chuckled, and I released a deep breath to try and stay level headed.
“Just right now?” I asked with a disbelieving laugh, “You think that I’m stupid and good for nothing, that I don’t respect people, and only use them when I need something from them. You keep saying I’m stuck up and look down on anyone who’s bellow my status—when have I treated you like that?”
“Don’t tell me when you saw me at that stupid ball you didn’t only want to approach me because you thought I was rich?” Mingi scoffed, rolling his eyes as I bit my lower lip, heart hammering in my chest.
“I didn’t—it was one of the factors, but not the main one—” My thoughts were running a mile per hour. Mingi was right, in some way, but he also didn’t know everything. He couldn’t possibly have realized that I stopped caring whether he was rich or not.
“What’s the main one then, huh?” Mingi snapped, cutting me off as I averted my eyes to the floor, cheeks flushing. I didn’t want to say it, not in front of everyone. I was embarrassed, but Mingi’s fingers only tightened around my bicep, and I sighed, swallowing my pride for the first time in my life.
“The same reason for why I trusted you since the moment you made that creepy man go away at the pub. Because you made me feel safe, because despite not knowing me, you looked out for me. Because you never once tried to approach me at the ball, unlike every other desperate man there, and you didn’t even want to stick around at the pub. I know—I know it was probably part of your stupid scheme, but if you wouldn’t have been gentle and nice to me, I would’ve never allowed you to hold me like that while I was drunk and out of it.” I took a deep breath as I felt Mingi’s grip loosen significantly, “The same reason as to why I didn’t throw a tantrum when you wouldn’t sleep on the floor, when you refused to put pillows between us while sleeping. For the same bloody reason, Mingi, why I asked for your help with my corset when I could’ve easily asked Taeri.”
I let out a shuddered breath, feeling Mingi’s hand slowly slip down my arm, covering my skin in goosebumps in its wake, lips slightly trembling from the embarrassment I felt admitting all of that without an ounce of privacy, “I can’t help it that I was raised like this. I can’t help but look at my maids and feel little compassion for them because serving me is their job. And I know I’m mean and vile to them, but I care for them. I always did. They’ve been there for me when nobody else was. I never had friends because my father wouldn’t allow me, but Soyeon and Soojin were there, they played with me and cheered me up. I know I’m horrible, but I always showered them with gifts, and anything that I didn’t need anymore.
“I can’t help the fact that when I look at you I see a simple man, hard-working, but just barely making it through each day, when my father raised me to be able to pinpoint the differences between a poor and a rich man. It’s not my fault that the first thing I look at are your clothing, shoes, and jewelry, to determine your wealth. It’s not my fault that my governess taught me etiquette, and that I was reprimanded every time I would slouch, laugh loudly, or even as little as mumble my words. I never had a mother, she died while giving birth to me. I can’t help the fact that I cling onto whoever gives me even a little bit of affection and care. I was never allowed to do what I wanted; I was never allowed to explore. I’m locked up in my mansion all day, listening to my father and his disgusting old friends, wondering when a prince would finally find me and whisk me away. I’m sorry if you think I’ve been a…bitch to you, but I do not know how to act when I’m around people like you. I only see hierarchy. and the filth that surrounds me here.”
I fell silent for a second, taking a deep breath as Mingi watched me stunned, gripping my wrist almost as if afraid that I would disappear. The silence that stretched on was awkward, even when Seonghwa softly whispered my name from the table, “But it doesn’t mean I’m not open to learning. To forgetting all the prejudice I was raised with. To letting go of society’s norms, to find myself and learn who I really am underneath all the lavish and puff, the huge dresses, and fake tea parties. I was willing to learn, Mingi, but you never gave me a chance. You just…assumed I’m a stupid, stuck-up bitch, and went with it, never failing to remind me of it. You never saw how curiously I watched you each time you were working, discussing the guns with Seonghwa and your Captain. You never paid enough attention to notice the longing stares I would give Yunho and Taeri whenever they were sparring, wanting to learn as well. And you never looked long enough to see the smile on my face each time I would spot my favorite book on your desk, fingers tracing the title, fondly remembering the time I had snuck the book out of my father’s library to read it overnight, getting punished for it the next day because I had taken something from the forbidden section.”
“Y/N…” Mingi sounded breathless as I stepped back, suddenly aware that tears were rolling down my cheeks, even more embarrassed when I glanced towards the table. Hana was cuddled up into Yeosang, who looked sorry, Seonghwa and Taeri mirroring his expression. Hongjoong was eating, looking rather irritated by the commotion, but I didn’t miss the exasperated glare he sent at Mingi. Yunho was glaring at his best friend, arms crossed in front of his chest as he shook his head, and Jongho looked mad as he was glaring at Mingi. I cleared my throat and tried to ignore the rest of the pirates I didn’t know as most seemed amused as I quickly wiped my tears and looked at Seonghwa.
“I’m sorry, my appetite is gone.” I muttered, stepping back from Mingi, and giving him a look when he tried to grab me again, “But dinner was delicious, even better than the one’s at home usually are.”
Seonghwa smiled warmly, nodding his head once, “Wooyoung is our original cook, but he’s still got some weeks until he returns to us. It’s a pity you won’t get to meet him.”
“Yeah, a pity.” I sighed, not knowing whether I was happy or not about it, “I wish you all a good evening, I hope I hadn’t ruined your evening.”
“Y/N!” Mingi called out as I turned and stormed off, almost running into a man out in the hallway as he was about to step inside the kitchen. His already sharp eyes narrowed and I furrowed my eyebrows, my skin covered in chills due to the dangerous smirk on his lips. His eyes traveled over my body and he chuckled, raising an eyebrow.
“Aren’t you a treat, princess?” His voice was smooth and as he attempted to step towards me, I held a hand out.
“You must be San, then.” I recalled Mingi advising me to stay away from him, something about him being really dangerous.
“Oh,” He chuckled, making me tense up as he licked his red lips, “and who are you?”
“None of your business,” I snapped, glaring at him when he tried to step closer again, “I’m here with Mingi, either way.”
A defeated look crossed his face for a second, before he hummed, “What a pity, you would’ve made us a lot of money.”
My eyebrows furrowed as I took a step back, unsettled by his words just as much as I was confused, “Of course Mingi would pick you, a noble just like him, but even richer. I bet his mother would be elated if he returned home with you, all of his sins forgotten.”
“Good night.” I snapped, feeling uncomfortable as I didn’t want to find out about who Mingi was by someone else. I wanted him to tell me about himself, but after the argument, I was sure he’d ignore me until my father finally pays up. I stormed off towards Mingi’s room, not waiting for San to say anything else, weirded out by his whole aura and the hunger in his eyes as he watched me.
And the evening passed by fast after that, I had changed into my night gown, borrowed from Hana, and laid in bed, contemplating over everything that’s happened to me so far. I really wanted to go home and forget everything that’s happened, ready to close this chapter and leave it behind me. Perhaps there was a moment when I had considered Mingi to be the prince I have been longing for, but after tonight, I have concluded that the two of us didn’t belong together. We are too different, too prideful and stubborn to ever admit to our faults, to even try to fix our damaged…friendship? I didn’t know what to consider ourselves, but Mingi was the closest thing to a friend I could ever have, with Taeri, and perhaps, Jongho as well. I had been laying in the dark, on my back, when the door opened and Mingi’s tall frame walked further inside the room, closing the door carefully. The floorboards were old and creaky, yet I could hear him being careful as he shuffled towards his closet, taking a peek at me. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep, to which Mingi moved even more carefully as he opened his old closet door, gasping when it almost moved off its hinges again. I carefully opened an eye, taking a peek in Mingi’s direction. He had his back to me and both of my eyes snapped open as pulled his black tank top off his body, his broad back exposed to my eyes. My face flushed as I watched him change, until I realized he might want me to offer him some privacy, prompting myself to squeeze my eyes shut. I stopped breathing when I heard him moving around again, only to feel the bed dip next to my body. Mingi’s room was small, and so, his bed wasn’t very spacious for two people, but we somehow made it work to stay far away from each other when sleeping. The blanket shifted for a second and I felt Mingi slip in underneath, softly releasing the breath I had been holding as I shifted, turning my back to him. Mingi sniffed once and didn’t bother to speak up, so I forced myself to keep my eyes shut and just fall asleep. The quicker the next day comes, the better.
But it was easier said than done when my mind was reeling with thoughts, forbidding me from sleeping. I bit my lower lip as I shifted for the nth time, facing Mingi, but never opening my eyes to see him. I could feel his gaze on me, but I didn’t want to actively acknowledge it. I was embarrassed by the scene we had caused in the kitchen, and especially for saying those things to him in front of everyone. That wasn’t how I wanted to pour my heart out to him, to admit that I had started feeling something for him. I couldn’t define what it was, but it was something. And it made me hope that I would be able to leave this place soon, scared that I would fall for the pirate. Nobody’s ever treated me as humanly as him before, teaching me that I wasn’t as special as I once had believed. Perhaps I was privileged, and I had failed to notice that. With a quiet sigh, I turned back onto my back, the old mattress shifting with my movements as a low groan came from Mingi. I almost opened my eyes, but instead decided that now I would fall asleep—except that suddenly there was movement next to me, and suddenly a weight was pressing me down into the bed, making my eyes snap open as Mingi grabbed my arms and pressed them on each side of my head, grip firm. I gaped up at him as he sat on my hips, eyebrows deeply furrowed. It was dark in the room, but the moonlight shone through the little round window, falling on Mingi. The shadows falling on his face made him even more intimidating, and I came to the startling realization, that Mingi’s shirt was completely undone, his torso exposed. Before I could stop myself, my eyes glazed over his well-defined body, toned chest and firm stomach, cheeks flushing as I looked back up in his eyes, throat dry all of a sudden.
“Stop moving so much, I can’t sleep.” Mingi snapped quietly, eyebrows furrowing.
“I can’t sleep.” I muttered, frowning back at him, “Is it necessary to pin me down, Mingi?”
“Well—” He seemed to realize what he had done, cheeks turning darker instantly, but he made no effort to move, “Will you stop, then?”
“Once I fall asleep—”
“I’ll kick you out.” Mingi quickly cut me off, making me roll my eyes. My heartbeat was steadily quickening, a warm feeling overtaking my whole body once again the longer Mingi sat on top of me.
“Kick me out, then, I’ll go sleep in Seonghwa’s room or something.” I scoffed, adding quietly, “Maybe even Jongho’s.”
“No.” Mingi’s tone was serious and his hands slightly tightened around my arms, making me raise an eyebrow at him, “I mean, no, you don’t have to do that when you can sleep here…with me.”
“Not if you kick me out.” I muttered, body softening under Mingi. He gulped and paused for a second, sitting back on his heels as he slowly released my arms, my fingers brushing against his with a small smile. My face was burning, but so was his, so I didn’t pay it much attention. He must feel flustered as well, then.
“I won’t kick you out.” Mingi whispered, looking off to the side. My smile widened as my fingers firmly grasped the sturdy object in my hand now, feeling around the silver ring. It was warm, due to Mingi wearing it all day long, and it was almost a little crooked, as if Mingi had been wearing it for a long time now. I raised my hand and looked at it, but held it in a way Mingi couldn’t see it. My movement caught his attention and he looked back at me, eyebrows slightly furrowing as he pouted, turning his head to try and see what was in my hand.
“Did you know I really liked rubies?” I asked nonchalantly, swiftly slipping the ringer on my ring finger. Of course, it was rather large for me, but I could still play around with it.
“No, you never told me.” Mingi whispered, closely watching me.
“You never asked, about anything for that matter,” I looked up at Mingi, licking my lips, “You never bothered to get to know me, you know?”
As Mingi opened his mouth to say something, I turned my left hand around, watching as it took a few seconds for Mingi to realize what he was staring at. His eyes widened and he went to quickly check his own hand, his ruby ring indeed missing.
“How did you do that?” He asked, sounding slightly disturbed, as he caught my hand in his, “I didn’t even feel it.”
I smiled cheekily, allowing him to slip the ring off my finger to place it back on his middle one, “I’m quite good, aren’t I?”
Mingi chuckled and nodded once, slightly leaning back down, my muscles tensing at the shift of his weight on top of my body, “I think I should be given some credit too; don’t you think?”
My eyes widened as he casually dangled my favorite bracelet in my face, which had been on my right wrist before Mingi had gotten on top of me, “How did you do that?”
“Just like you did.” Mingi chuckled and motioned for me to extend my arm towards him, so I did. He carefully placed the thin bracelet around my wrist and clasped it shut, fingers softly grazing against my skin. I gulped as I looked up in his eyes, an intense look crossing Mingi’s face. My heart started racing again, and I found myself yearning to feel him closer to me, just as close as he had been earlier today after the pillow fight. The thought was alarming, but I couldn’t help but want it more. But to my surprise, Mingi moved off of me, laying back down next to me, his hand brushing mine after he settled underneath the blanket again.
“I owe you an apology, Y/N.” He muttered and as I glanced at him, I found his head turned towards me as he was looking at me with a solemn look on his face, “You were right at dinner, I made no effort to get to know you, to look past your attitude and actually try to see who you truly are. I’ve insulted you countless times and even tried to turn the others against you, I’m sorry.”
I hummed as I turned my head to be able to look at Mingi easier, biting my lower lip for a second, “I’m sorry too, I was horrible with you. I know I’m difficult, but I was scared, and just wanted to go back home. I’ve never been away from the manor like this and everything is just…new. I didn’t know what type of man you were, so I thought remaining cold would push you away, and you’d just leave me alone and return me to my father sooner.”
Mingi chuckled and lightly shook his head, “Nothing you do could veer me away from money.”
I chuckled and nodded; however I felt a little bitter knowing that Mingi only needed me for my money. That perhaps he wasn’t even in the slightest interested in me, just my money. And it was possible that that was the case, “Are you just…really not interested in me?”
It was weird hearing myself sound so small and almost insecure, wanting to understand Mingi’s thought process.
“That’s not it,” Mingi sighed, turning his head to look up at the ceiling, “I see myself in you, you know? That’s why I never bothered to treat you better, because I knew that once I got what I initially wanted, you’d be gone. You’d be back to living your perfect posh life, marrying some rich guy and never once having to worry about anything. And I found myself jealous of you.”
“Jealous?” I asked surprised, turning onto my side to face Mingi, my undivided attention on him.
“Yes,” Mingi whispered as he gulped, taking a deep breath, “I was born and raised in the Sun Rise Kingdom as well, just like you. And it would surprise you, Y/N, but I’m from a rich family. Not as rich as yours, we could never afford ourselves a mansion, but we did bathe in milk thrice a week. And my parents were affluential people in my town, had some ties with the Queen as well, but I was never too invested in the family business to learn more about that.”
My eyes had widened as I looked at Mingi, who’s eyes found mine as he turned his head, a small smile on his lips, “I was raised by a harsh governess, who lectured me too often about my behavior. I was never good enough or smart enough compared to my older brothers, and I was never talented enough. My parents neglected me quite often, my middle brother turned into my main caretaker, basically.”
Unconsciously, my hand moved under the blanket until it found Mingi’s hand, and our fingers intertwined as I squeezed his in reassurance, “Things only started getting worse when they found out I stole from people. Anything I could get my hands on, would end up in my grasp by the end of the night. I knew it was bad, but I couldn’t stop myself. It’s like I wasn’t in control when I was doing these things, it was very humiliating. Especially when the constable caught me and locked me up for a whole week. My parents were very disappointed, and after that, they never treated me the same.”
“Mingi.” I whispered and he smiled sadly, eyes glistening in the moonlight.
“They rarely allowed me to leave the house, but I would sneak out to play with the neighbor’s kids. They didn’t like me much, but I was desperate to do anything to play with someone, and so they would often chase me towards the cliffs, where they would tell me to leave them alone unless I wanted to get in trouble.” Mingi chuckled, but a somber look crossed his features, “My luck ran out one day. I stood too close to the edge and slipped. I don’t remember much from there, just the sharp rocks and the cold water, my lungs burning and eyes stinging.”
“That is horrible.” I whispered as my eyebrows furrowed, and without thinking first, my right hand went and cupped Mingi’s cheek, his skin soft and warm underneath my palm. Mingi’s eyes fluttered closed for a second, before he took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, smiling softly.
“I woke up a week later, on this ship.” He chuckled, amusement written all over his face as he lightly pressed his face more into my palm, nose brushing against my wrist, “I was terrified, everyone looked so scary. I was raised by posh people, surrounded by aristocracy and cleanness all my life. The stench on the ship was horrible and I threw up way too often until I finally got used to it. At first, I begged Captain Kim, Hongjoong’s father, to take me home, but the closer we got towards the shore of the Sun Rise Kingdom, the harder I started realizing that this was the most freedom I had ever felt my whole life. Nobody treated me bad here for not being smart, nobody lectured me for misbehaving, and Captain Kim even seemed concerned over my well-being as he had raised two sons of his own. He was gentle with children. And some of the boys were already here, Yunho took me under his wing almost immediately. It was a foreign feeling having a boy close to my age so friendly and nice to me. He genuinely wanted to be my friend, and I finally had stopped feeling alone. I had realized I didn’t want to return home anymore.”
I chuckled, fingers lightly grazing against Mingi’s cheekbone, “So you stayed and became a pirate? How did you manage, Song Mingi? The once rich boy, now poor and smelly.”
I giggled as Mingi rolled his eyes, “I’m not smelly. But yes, it was hard at the beginning. I had to work to earn my money, and I wasn’t good at anything. Until Captain Kim showed me how to deal with guns, training me to become their best gunner. And I found a family within the crew, although some of them are questionable people, I still consider them my family.”
I smiled as I nodded, a warm feeling settling in my chest. So much made sense now, his gentleness and understanding. He was respectful, and carried himself with grace. He looked nothing like a pirate once out of his silly clothes, and it all made sense now as to why, “But why are you jealous of me?”
Mingi chuckled, and I was startled as he pressed a small kiss into my wrist, looking down as his cheeks suddenly flushed red, “Your father cares about you. He loves you and would do anything to have you back. I never had parents like him. I’ve always felt lonely and weird when I was around my family. Despite my middle brother taking care of me, I knew he wasn’t too fond of me and was only doing it because he felt pity towards me.”
“Just because my father loves me, doesn’t mean I don’t feel lonely.” I whispered, suddenly overcome with emotion. I’ve never opened up to anyone before, “I—I don’t have any friends. I’m alone in the mansion, unless my father is at home. I can’t talk to most servants as they are around my age and my father forbid them from doing so. I only have my two maids, who hate me. And my governess always preached on about me having to remain pretty so that a man would want to marry me. She taught me manners that would appeal to a rich man to take me as his wife. I learned everything else I know on my own, browsing through my mother’s books, which are in the forbidden section of the library. I never got to know her, and yet I miss her every day. I wonder what she would have been like, if she would have treated me like my father or not. If she would’ve locked me up in the mansion like my father does, or would’ve let me discover the world on my own. You taking me here is the most fun I’ve had my whole life, Mingi. I don’t hate it as much as I say I do. Although, the stench does get horrible at times.”
Mingi chuckled as his eyes found mine, and I grinned, “You deal better with it than I did.”
“Because I’m better than you.” I teased and Mingi rolled his eyes, suddenly shifting closer as he turned onto his side too, our bodies facing each other as our knees touched underneath the blanket, our fingers intertwined, “Did you know people who have this urge to take things, to collect them, are called kleptomaniacs?”
Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed and he slowly shook his head no, “Well, I think you might be one.”
“Really?” Mingi asked quietly and I nodded.
“Yes, because I think I am one too.” I grinned as I started playing with Mingi’s ruby ring, his eyes falling on the item, “Because I also take things from people. It started out as a prank at first, back at the mansion. I would take things without people noticing and wait for the servants or my father to start searching for them, wanting to see how long until they realized they weren’t there. But I always got away with it, so I became bold. I started stealing from other people, and I was never caught. I’ve been stealing jewelry and smaller items since I’m ten, Mingi.”
“What?!” Mingi looked alarmed, and I giggled, nodding my head.
“It’s bad, I know.” I shrugged, “But what started out as a joke became a serious issue as I couldn’t stop anymore. I do it without noticing now. I just see something pretty that I would like to have, and the next second I find it in my hands. If my father were to find out, he’d certainly be horrified by his little daughter not being perfect anymore.”
“I think you’re perfect.” My cheeks flushed as Mingi whispered, eyes racking over my face, almost as if searching for something.
“Your compliments feel a lot more sincere than the ones I’ve been getting back home from all the other men.” I muttered, finding myself thinking out loud. Mingi’s fingers tightened against mine, and I looked away embarrassed.
“Because they are sincere.” Mingi’s tone was firm, his voice deep, “I wouldn’t say something I don’t mean.”
I chuckled, raising an eyebrow, “So, I really am a bitch?”
“At times.” My eyes widened at his sincerity, but before I could pull away, Mingi chuckled, “But you’re also quite cool. I never expected a lady like you to punch a man, let alone break his nose.”
“I was mad.” I tried to defend myself as Mingi hummed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I realized I had my hand on his face still, so I quickly pulled it away and noted how calm I felt, wrapped in the vanilla and gunpowder scent.
“I think we’ll get a letter from your father soon.” My eyebrows furrowed at Mingi’s words, something in my stomach suddenly dropping. Why did the thought not feel so inviting anymore? Why did I find myself wanting to spend a little more time with Mingi?
“Oh.” I whispered barely, eyebrows furrowing, “Will you tell me stories of your childhood?”
“Do you want me to?” Mingi asked surprised, and I nodded with a smile, “Alright, so…”
And I closed my eyes to listen more attentively, his eyes too distracting to be looking at Mingi’s face, but I found his deep voice soothing as it lulled me to sleep.
Tumblr media
            Waking up in the mornings had always been difficult back home, in my comfortable Queen-sized bed, but here on the ship it seemed to get even more difficult. Perhaps it was the even rocking of the ship, or the warmth, which enveloped my whole body, making me feel content as I would nuzzle further into the silky pillow, Mingi’s vanilla scent strong as I could hear him snoring lightly or groaning in his sleep. But today, the vanilla and gunpowder scent seemed more prominent, the warmth emanating from next to me almost making me feel hot, and instead of the silky pillow, my head was pressed against something harder, firmer, and certainly warmer. I had started to stir upon hearing some loud voices down the hallway, outside the safety of Mingi’s room. I couldn’t understand their words, but a woman and a man were certainly arguing. Yeosang and Hana never seemed like the type to argue, and meanwhile Taeri and Yunho could get riled up by each other, I’ve never actually heard them argue in front of everyone all these days I’ve been here on this ship. A door down the hallway was slammed shut loudly, and I sighed loudly, licking my dry lips as I pressed my cheek a little harder against my pillow. It took a few more minutes to become aware of the weight around my waist, or the way my bare calf was brushing against another clothed leg. Growing suddenly stiff, my eyes snapped open, only for my jaw to fall slack as I was presented with an alarming image.
I was laying all over Mingi, right leg thrown over his hips as it was comfortably slotted between his legs, my right hand intertwined with his left one as Mingi’s fingers would absentmindedly flex around mine. I gasped as I looked down, the blanket hanging low around our hips, the skirt of my nightgown ridden up to my thighs, making my cheeks flush. My heart was hammering against my ribcage, and I couldn’t help but not only feel embarrassed, but…I was suddenly overcome with a fiery need as my fingers tightened against Mingi’s, holding his hand a little firmer. My breathing progressively got harder, and I allowed my eyes to rake over his tan chest, muscles now soft but toned, Mingi’s chest rising and falling evenly as he was still asleep. I couldn’t help but gulp as I found the sight of Mingi completely ravishing, a foreign need in my body urging me on to press a kiss against Mingi’s right pectoral. Mingi sighed softly, and I raised my head slightly to watch as his eyebrows furrowed before he settled back down, seemingly still asleep. I bit my lower lip, eyes fixated on his perfect face as the sunlight poured in through the little window, perfectly falling on his handsome face. Mingi mumbled something, and I froze, eyes widening in fright that I was caught. But his eyes were still closed and he sighed again, his tongue peeking slightly out as he licked his lower lip, gulping before another sigh left his lips. My eyes had been fixated on his plush lips, and I found my heart beating faster as I envisioned what they would’ve felt like pressed against mine, soft and warm, no doubt devouring mine in a feverish kiss. I gulped as shivers ran down my body, stomach clenching, and I realized that I had to get away from Mingi, that I needed fresh air to clear my thoughts. To sort out these weird yearnings of my body towards this pirate, decide whether they were happening because I’ve been spending too much time with him or because, indeed, I had started falling for him.
So, I very slowly tried to peel myself off Mingi, but when I went to move my right leg off his body, suddenly his hand holding mine released my hand and went to my naked knee, grabbing it and holding it flush against his hips. I froze as I bit my lower lip, realizing that this would be harder than I thought initially. I sighed quietly and tried again, but his other arm only tightened around my waist and I was suddenly yanked back into his body, making me fall back against his chest with a loud gasp.
“Stop moving.” Mingi croaked out, his morning voice gravely deep as he groaned. My cheeks flushed instantly as I found my body shivering, something coiling in my lower stomach. I have never felt like this before, having never been this close to a man, never so desperately having to hold myself back from doing something I might regret later.
“Mingi,” I whispered, trying to collect myself, “we have to get up.”
“No, we don’t.” Mingi groaned, and I stiffened when I felt his calloused palm caressing the back of my thigh, reaching just a bit higher, underneath my nightgown. My heart was racing in my chest, right fingers fisting the bedsheet next to Mingi’s torso. Mingi’s breathy voice and closed eyes were a clear enough sign that he hadn’t fully woken up yet, and I tried to ignore the way his fingers dug into my skin around my waist, “It’s too early.”
“I don’t think it is,” I mumbled, turning my head to look towards the window, “The sun is high up in the sky.”
Mingi scoffed, and I felt him shrugging, “So what?”
“Don’t you have duties you have to attend?” I whispered, looking up at him, and I had to stop myself from pressing a kiss against his jaw.
“Nothing too urgent,” Mingi sniffed and then groaned as his fingers flexed against my naked skin, “they can wait a little longer.”
I’ve never in my life before had the urge to straddle someone, and my jaw clenched as I raised my head off Mingi’s chest, staring down at his face intently, “Mingi, I need fresh air. Right now.”
He tsked and only grabbed me harder, hitching my leg higher up on his body, and I gasped as Mingi pulled me on top of himself, large palm pressing against my lower back as he gingerly started massaging me through the light fabric of the nightgown, “What are you doing?”
Perhaps the strain in my voice finally snapped him wide awake, or the fact that our lower bodies were pressed against each other, something pressing against my thigh as I gulped, afraid to move. Mingi’s eyes snapped wide open and he raised his head, looking down at me. He froze as he took me in, no doubt my whole face flushed, and lips red from how much I had been biting them. Mingi’s face reddened instantly, and he averted his eyes, which had started slipping down my neck and chest, the nightgown having slipped a little lower across my chest. It didn’t help that Mingi went to sleep with his own shirt unbuttoned, firm torso on full display as I suddenly pressed my hands against his bare chest, sitting slightly up.
“Fuck.” Mingi hissed as he threw his head back, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he gripped my waist, stabilizing me. I had thought the same thing, but I couldn’t say it out loud as I was a lady, but his hardness was suddenly pressing against me in a rather sensitive spot, making me gasp. Mingi’s fingers tightened around my waist as I shifted subconsciously, the friction foreign but not unpleasant at all, “You have to get off.”
“I’ve been trying to,” I was breathless as Mingi looked at me, his chest rising and falling rapidly, “But you wouldn’t let me.”
He gulped and nodded once, eyebrows furrowing, seemingly in deep thought for a second, “Because I want you.”
My eyes widened at his words, lips parting as I gaped at him, never having heard those words from a man before. I knew what it implied, I had read a romance book once where things took an unexpected turn, but nobody has ever said those things to me up until now. It made my skin tingle, my cheeks flush a darker color as Mingi’s intense eyes stared up into mine, eyebrows slightly furrowing.
“But I’m going home soon,” I whispered, completely at a loss because I found myself wanting him as well, “And I…we can’t.”
“I know.” Mingi gulped, trying to mask his disappointment, but I could hear it still tinge his tone, “Of course I do. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be.” I cut him off, almost desperately, “I—I think I also—”
The door suddenly slammed open and I jumped as Mingi instinctively pulled me down against himself, bringing the blanket over my body as he hugged me into his body around my middle. I watched with wide eyes and a racing heart as the Captain walked a little further inside the room, arms crossed in front of his chest, giving us a scrutinizing gaze. He looked unimpressed and almost exasperated as he sighed loudly, rolling his eyes for a second, “Your father wrote us a letter. He wants you home today, the money is prepared. The exchange happens at noon, so get up.”
Something dropped in my stomach when I heard those words, and I found my fingers curling into Mingi’s shirt, as if I didn’t want to leave, to let go of him. But wasn’t that what I’ve wanted all this time? To go home? To forget about Mingi and everyone else, and just continue living my life the way I was supposed to? To find a rich husband, marry into a rich family, and raise children of my own? Wasn’t that the plan all along?
“Aye, Captain.” Mingi’s tone lacked any cheeriness or playfulness, and I found myself reluctant to look at him. It sounded like he wasn’t ready to return me to my father just yet. But the Captain grunted once before he stormed out, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Mingi and I moved at the same time, his arms freeing me as I scrambled off him, suddenly aware of what I almost allowed to happen if the Captain wouldn’t have walked in. I was ready to give myself to Mingi, and I didn’t know what to do with that revelation as I stumbled for a second, hissing as I had almost stepped into that wretched hole in the floorboards. This is why I needed to go home. I didn’t belong here; I didn’t belong with Mingi. I was an aristocrat, Mingi was a lowlife. We would never work out our differences. We weren’t right for each other.
I stiffened as I grabbed my clothes, realizing that they weren’t even mine in the first place, and would have to wear the dress I had arrived in. But I didn’t have it in me to put it on myself, not when I haven’t had a milk bath in almost a week. I couldn’t dirty my mother’s dress like that, it had already been damaged, much to my dismay.
“I’ll go change, be back in ten.” Mingi’s voice was small as he got off the bed as well, headed towards his closet.
“Just change in here,” I found myself muttering, turning my back to him as I slipped the nightgown off myself. I knew I just exposed myself to him completely, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care anymore. Everything felt bitter, my mind a mess as I suddenly didn’t know what I wanted anymore, of where I belonged, of who I was. Mingi remained silent and I heard him shuffling around, probably changing too. I quickly wore my short silky gown, and pulled on the low V-neck black t-shirt Mingi had borrowed me yesterday over it, saying that it would be cooler today. I tucked the material inside the leather pants belonging to Taeri, and then quickly put on Mingi’s white shirt, only buttoning it up to my chest as it was covered by a different material underneath. I gazed at my corset longingly, remembering seeing Taeri wear it once like that, over her shirt. So, I grasped at it and sighed, placing it around my torso. It brought little sense of familiarity, of something that I once wore daily not even a week ago. But now it felt weird, still undone yet already constricting, a reminder of who I was, of what I was walking back to.
“Mingi?” I cleared my throat, finding it rather dry all of a sudden. When he hummed, I spoke up quietly, “Could you lace up my corset?”
His intake of breath was sharp, perhaps a reminder that not even six days ago he was the one undoing it, welcoming me inside his life, now about to send me away from it. He hummed without saying a word, and I heard him as he walked closer, taking the lace from my hands as he softly started pulling on them, securing them.
“How tight?” He asked, his voice raspy and low as my jaw clenched.
“Tight.” Was the only thing I said, and gasped lightly when he pulled on the strings harshly, forcing me to brace myself against the chair in front of his desk. My fingers curled around the sturdy wood with each constricting knot, biting my lower lip as my lungs were once again struggling to fill to the brim with air. This is what I was used to, a little reminder of what my life was like before Mingi whisked me away from my monotonous days. Before he made my days more enjoyable, and showed me that there was a life worth living, a life you could enjoy to the fullest.
“Are you alright?” His voice sounded small, and tight, and I hummed as he laced it up fully, tightening the top and doing the last knots to it. I took a deep breath and sighed loudly, palms turning into fists as Mingi gently tapped my waist as a signal that he was done, that I was ready. But I didn’t feel ready, I was far from being ready. I bit my lower lip as my heartbeat picked up again, conflicting thoughts racing in my head as I heard Mingi inhale sharply, prompting me to whirl around.
Our eyes locked, and before I could list all the reasons why this would be wrong, I lurched forward just as Mingi grabbed my cheeks, our lips smashing together. My eyebrows furrowed as I finally felt his plush and soft skin against mine, lips exactly the same way I had imagined them. I’ve never kissed a man before in my life, but it felt right to have Mingi be the first one to do so. My arms quickly wrapped around his neck as I pushed up on my tip toes, leaning my body against Mingi’s as he pulled back for a second, before pressing his lips against mine again, slotting his upper lip between mine as he lightly sucked on my lower lip. Everything felt new, but exhilarating as my cheeks burned, lips pressing against Mingi’s desperately, trying to allow him to lead, to guide me as the feeling was foreign, but oh so good. His warm hands left my cheeks in exchange to grip my waist and the back of my head as his ring clad fingers tangled into my long locks of curly hair, his nose pressing into the warm skin of my cheek as I found myself desperate to feel more. I became aware that I had quickened the once experimental pace Mingi’s lips had set, and was now pressing my lips harder against his, ravaging his mouth as Mingi whined when my fingers subconsciously tangled in his short hair, delicately yanking on the strands. His grip on my waist tightened, and I felt him walking me backwards hurriedly, his lips pressing bruisingly against mine as I was suddenly overwhelmed by the strong scent of vanilla as I tried to inhale through my nose, lungs long burning due to the corset, but due to Mingi stealing my breath away as wll. My left hand slowly slipped down to his jaw to hold onto him as our teeth suddenly clanked together, slightly startling me, but only urging me to chase after Mingi’s lips when he attempted to pull back. My teeth latched onto his lower lip as the back of my legs hit the desk behind me, and I sucked on Mingi’s lower lip as he pushed me down onto the desk, groaning against my mouth as I found myself licking at his lips, wanting even more of him. I didn’t recognize myself for a second, but this is what I’ve wanted, and I was done repressing my wants and needs because they were wrong or not lady like. I wanted Mingi, and I would get what I wanted from now on. Nobody could control me anymore. I was my own person.
I gasped as I felt Mingi’s big hand slip down from my waist towards my thigh, and his calloused hand firmly gripped it as he yanked me lower on his deck, back arching when I felt his lean body pressing against mine, stepping between my legs. My hand let go of his jaw as Mingi instead of holding the back of my head proceeded to tilt my chin up with the steady grip he had on it, and softly, but surely coerced my lips open, mouth parting for him. I sneaked my hand around his narrow waist covered with his leather belt, moaning into his mouth when I felt his tongue just lightly, teasingly, slip past my lips, licking inside my mouth. My body felt alive, skin tingling, and senses heightened as Mingi’s whole being enraptured mine, the only thing being him on my mind as he explored my mouth, liking at my tongue as my legs wrapped around his hips, caging him against myself, and Mingi groaned, his kiss turning feverish. Our tongues danced together, and I normally would’ve been embarrassed by the soft keens leaving my mouth, but this was Mingi, and I knew he wanted me, and I wanted him back just as badly. I didn’t want to ever let go of him; afraid we’d never find our way back to each other. My lungs had started burning as dark spots started appearing behind my closed eyes, and as much as I never wanted to part from his addictive lips, I needed air. So, I softly pulled back, gasping loudly as my chest was rising and falling rapidly, lips parted as I intake small gasps of air. Mingi leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine, his breathing just as ragged as mine as our breaths tangled together, our pants loud in the quiet room. There was the occasional wave hitting the side of the ship harsher as we tried to regain ourselves, but I found myself clinging tighter and tighter against Mingi, both legs wrapped around his hips and pulling him into myself as my fingers dug into his black silky shirt, silver chains dangling around his neck and chest as he was slightly leaning forward.
“I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time now.” Mingi whispered, voice raspy as he sounded breathless. My eyes slowly fluttered open, and I watched as his eyes were still closed as he looked at ease, almost content as his lips were swollen, even plumper than they usually were.
“I’ve never been kissed before.” I found myself admitting as Mingi slowly opened his eyes, a small smile slipping onto his lips as he cupped my cheek with one hand, pressing a lasting kiss on my forehead first. My heart was hammering in my chest violently, and I flushed even more as he kissed my temple, then my eyes, my cheeks, nose, and the proceeded to plant a lasting kiss against my lips, making me clutch onto the collar of his shirt, refusing to allow him to pull back just yet. Our lips slowly started moving against each other again, and Mingi shuddered when I bit his lower lip again, yearning to remain close to him, wrapped up in his warmth and comforting vanilla scent mixed with gunpowder.
“I couldn’t let you go just like that.” Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed once we pulled just slightly away, our noses brushing against each other. His eyes were casted downwards, and I felt my stomach clenching as I realized what he was implying. Suddenly, there was a desperate need clawing up my chest to never let him go, afraid of what that implied. We barely spent a week together, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him anymore. Even if we fought and teased each other, getting on each other’s nerves, leaving him behind felt…wrong. What if we could work on our differences? What if Mingi could teach me, and guide me towards being a better person? What if I just…left my old life behind to live with this silly pirate? Would my father understand? Would my mother be proud of me up in the Heavens?
“I don’t want to go,” I found myself confessing, Mingi’s eyes snapping open as he stared at me in disbelief. I gulped as I took a deep breath, body slightly trembling, but conviction in my eyes. I have made up my mind, and as I leaned forward, lips brushing against Mingi’s, I felt his body soften into mine, hands cupping my cheeks as I whispered against his lips, “I want you, Mingi.”
            The wind was harsh and cold as it rocked the small boat, the two pirates struggling to row against the big waves. Salt water sloshed inside the wooden boat, and I tried to keep my feet away from the water, but instead, a stronger wave managed to hit the side of the boat, big droplets of water splashing my side, making me gasp loudly as it soaked my attire. Mingi had an amused look on his face as he sat facing me, the sleeves of his black shirt rolled up almost to his biceps, straining as he was rowing as well, sweat shinning on his forehead in the beaming sunlight. Mingi had been right, the weather today was colder compared to the other days, and I was grateful that he borrowed me thicker clothes. As I looked over Mingi’s shoulder, my fingers clenched against each other as they were resting in my lap, intertwined, as I had noticed my father pacing up and down the shore. He seemed to be alone, nobody else in sight, and I could only assume that the deal would only proceed if he didn’t bring anyone with himself. My body was tense, and my stomach coiled the closer we got to the shore, eyes traveling to the high hill, falling on the window that I knew was my room. I was so close to returning home, barely minutes away from being in my father’s arms. But as my eyes fell on Mingi, who had turned around and instructed the other three pirates with us to stop rowing, I realized my life would never be the same. I didn’t want to go back to how it once was. Mingi turned in his seat, sharp eyes finding mine.
“Are you ready?” He asked, and I nodded once, making myself smaller as I caught another glimpse of my father, who had stopped pacing, and was now looking our way. My heart was hammering in my chest.
“Proceed with the plan.” Mingi’s firm voice instructed the other three pirates, and I gulped as two got off instantly, their feet barely reaching the sandy ground of the sea. I watched as the third person wearing my mother’s beautiful dress reached his hand out, almost comically elegantly, the two other pirates hauling him out of the boat. To my father, that man looked like it was me, a white veil covering his head to make him unrecognizable. I watched as the three pirates went closer to the shore, the one looking like me staying behind, making almost desperate sounding noises as he seemed to be slightly struggling to swim forward. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I watched his caricature performance, but wondered if that’s how these pirates had been viewing me all this time. As if sensing my doubts, Mingi’s hand reached forward, and he grasped mine tightly, leaning down to look me in the eyes, but still making he was covering me with his broad form from my father’s eyes.
“Are you sure, princess?” His voice was firm, “You can still change your mind, I won’t hold you back.”
“Mingi,” I sighed, intertwining our fingers tightly, “I have made up my mind. I want this. I want you.”
A beaming smile appeared on his face, and I don’t think Mingi had been ever handsomer than he was right now in the sunlight, his adorable front teeth slightly more forward than the rest, his sharp eyes disappearing, and nose scrunching. My stomach clenched and heart stuttered, and I found myself wondering if it was just a matter of time until I realized that I had fallen in love with him the second I had laid my eyes on him. At Mrs. Boo’s ball, when he had knocked that servant with all the delicacies over, leaving nonchalantly as if nothing happened, eating that cherry that had landed on the floor like it didn’t even happen. He was a genuine man, different from all those trying to court me just because I had money. Those men never tried to look past my wealth and beauty, they never actually cared about my thoughts and feelings. Not even Lieutenant Kim. But Mingi saw me,and wasn’t afraid to correct my mistakes, to enlighten me. He listened to me, he was curious about me, and he wanted me just the way I was. I couldn’t help but smile back at him, blinking away the tears that formed in my eyes, blaming it on the harsh sunlight. But my attention was quickly back on the pirates in the water as I heard my father’s desperate cries.
“My little daughter!” The third pirate was still far from reaching my father, but he was still waddling towards him without much struggle, “Oh, my precious Y/N! Are you alright?”
There was no answer, and I could see the worry on my father’s face as he grabbed the smaller chest he had by his leg, eyebrows furrowed. He looked like he had grown older these past days, and suddenly I felt sorry for him.
“Give us what we came here for, old man!” A pirate holding a sword demanded of my father as he finally reached closer to the shore, and I watched as he pushed the chest clumsily towards the pirate, before recoiling as the sword was now pointed at him, “Nobody knows about this, yes?”
“No, no!” My father quickly exclaimed, sounding desperate, making me pout as Mingi chuckled, “I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone—I just want my daughter back!”
“Good.” The pirate chuckled, and started pulling the heavy looking chest further inside the water as the other pirate, who had been paddling just behind, reached him, helping him out with the chest. They both started returning to the boat, moving a lot slower due to the added weight. The third pirate looking like me was still not close enough, but my father could certainly see him better now.
“Oh, dear Lord, thank you for returning my daughter!” I heard him call out as he took a step towards the water, grimacing as his boots got soaked, “Come, Y/N, come, papa is here.”
“Your father is a hilarious man.” Mingi muttered as he watched my father with a snicker, making me throw a glare at him.
“Don’t make fun of him, he’s been very concerned, probably hadn’t slept in days.” I scrutinized him, making Mingi’s smile turn sheepish, “I feel bad for what I’m doing to him, but it’s time I take control of my own life.”
“You can still go back—”
“Mingi,” I snapped, eyes narrowing at the handsome pirate, “I’m starting to think you don’t want me anymore—”
“I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, Y/N.” Mingi’s words were rushed as his fingers tightened against mine, eyebrows furrowing.
“Good,” I smirked and yanked on our linked hands, making Mingi fall forward as the boat swayed dangerously with his movement, “Because you will never get rid of me now, love.”
“That was the plan, darling.” We chuckled at the same time before Mingi’s lips pressed firmly against mine, salty from the wind, but soft and warm. My eyes fluttered closed as I grabbed his nape, breathing him in, impatient to get back to the ship and learn of everything he had to offer me. But just as Mingi would’ve deepened the kiss, there was a startled shout coming from the shore, and we broke apart, turning to look towards my father. He looked shocked as the pirate had ripped the veil off his head and was laughing loudly, sticking his tongue out at my father before he turned around, and started swimming quickly back towards the boat. The other two pirates had reached us, and Mingi stood to help them place the chest inside the boat, watching as they got in the boat as well, waiting for their mate.
“What is the meaning of this?!” My father screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran inside the cold sea water, waggling his finger towards us, “Where is my daughter you filthy pirates?!”
“You really are his daughter.” Mingi chuckled as he cheered on the third pirate, motioning for him to swim faster, but the dress seemed to be rather constricting.
“Stop it.” I huffed as Mingi just flashed me a cheeky smile, completely amused as he watched my father trying to desperately move closer, but he was afraid of the water. He couldn’t swim, he’d never be able to reach the boat here. That’s the reason why we had stopped here, because I had told Mingi to stop here.
“Where’s my daughter?!” My father screamed again, slapping his hands angrily against the water, “When the Navy fleet finds you, you dirty pirates, you’ll be finished! Finished! You will all perish; you’ll be punished for what you’ve done to my daughter! I will watch your execution with my own eyes, you filthy pirates!”
“He’s not very creative with his words, I must note.” I slapped Mingi’s ass hard, making him yelp and jump, almost tipping the boat over as the other pirates yelped, holding onto the sides of the wooden construction.
“Stop being an asshat!” I snapped, standing up as the third pirate finally reached us, whining about how heavy the dress felt, and that he wanted it off himself. The other two helped him in, and Mingi sat down, the three pirates now starting to row, taking us back to the large ship, to the notorious pirate crew, called Ateez.
“Papa!” I screamed, heart breaking a little upon seeing the shocked and desperate look on my father’s face, “I am completely fine! Papa, they didn’t hurt me!”
“Y/N?!” I heard my father scream back desperately, looking lost.
“Papa, I want this! I want to stay with Mingi!” I screamed back, waving at him happily, “Papa, I’m finally happy! Mingi is going to take me on so many adventures! I promise I will write you letters, papa!”
“Come back here right now, Yoon Y/N!” I heard my father scream at the top of his lungs, now looking furious as the pirates rowed against the currents, taking me further away from my father. I just giggled, and waved some more.
“I promise to return sometime! Look forward to my letters!” I blew a big kiss, beaming towards my father, “Farewell, papa!”
And all he could do was watch me helplessly as I became smaller and smaller the closer we got to the big ship. From this point on, I dictated my own life. I did whatever I wanted to, I behaved however I wanted to, I lived however I wanted to, and loved whoever I wanted to. My eyes fell on Mingi, and he was looking up at me with a proud and warm glint in his eyes, smile dashing and beaming as I finally felt free.
I chuckled, and sat back down, cupping his cheeks as I pressed a kiss against his lips in gratitude as he nuzzled his nose against mine.
“Your adventure, Yoon Y/N, starts right now.”
Tumblr media
A/N: I want to thank all of you who stuck through the stories with me, it means so much to me, you wouldn't even understand. Writing is a great passion of mine and I dedicate a huge part of my time to it, they are always little pieces of me as I love what I'm doing. I know this part is extremely long, and I feel slightly bad for it, but if you've reached the end and you're reading this, I just really want to thank you all for your continuous support and love shown through all of my stories, you have no idea how happy you all make me! Tbh, this story is one of my absolute favorite ones from the Black Ocean series, and I know our beloved Y/N here isn't the best at the beginning, but I promise she learns next to Mingi and becomes better in the future. I have planned a spin-off for San's part, no promises when I'll finally commit to it as I have to write my thesis as of now, but I say stay tuned for it if you enjoyed his part, I have zero intentions of romanticizing anything too much as his story is quite heavy.
I want to thank you all again for following through on this journey with me, I will always cherish it, their stories dear to me. I hope you enjoyed everyone's part and that my writing is enough for an enjoyable story, I know I still have a lot to learn to become even better. I'm just blabbering on right now LOL because I don't want this to end *CRIES* but every story comes to an end, and so here I shall close this chapter. I appreciate all and every one of you, thank you again for everything, and check out my masterlist if you'd like to read more of my stories! *kisses*
Masterlist
368 notes · View notes
purple-writer8 · 2 months
Text
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - ACOTAR
Eris x Rhysand’s Sister (Reader)
“I cry a lot but I am so productive. It’s an art.”
Tumblr media
warnings: toxic man implied, abused eris, emotionally unavailable eris, depressed reader, broken up mates, angst
968 words
Masterlist :)
Tumblr media
"Yes, I went to Day and reported the findings to Helion. Then to Thesan." You reported to your High Lord and Lady. Rhysand looked more than pleased, and Feyre could only gape at you in awe. 
"You did all that in a day?" She asked in shock, admiration gleaming in her eyes for you. You nodded, a tired smile adorning your face, "and the ball is all set for tonight." 
Feyre gaped along with her mate, they could hardly believe it. "You are a blessing, a real fucking blessing. Thank you, so much... you will get more than a hefty bonus in your next payment." Rhysand grinned, dark talons caressing your mind in a soothing way. 
You rolled your eyes at your brother, then asked, "why do you two always act like I'm some kind of miracle fae?" 
They glanced at each other, then back at you, and then pity overtook both their stares. You know why. You were supposed to be heartbroken, as you had just ended your betrothal to Eris Vanserra. The two of you were mates, but the abuse he had suffered from his father and the toxic familiar dynamics he had grown up in, made him less than emotionally unavailable. 
He was unable to communicate what he felt, all he could do was share his feelings through your bond. But that was not enough, not when he had commitment issues and acted like an ass to your family. The bond was strong, but your self-respect was stronger.  Especially when you knew what you were worth, being the Night Court's High Lord's sister and Princess of Velaris. 
"What happened with Eris... at the last ball... it was bad..." Feyre trailed, not wanting to exactly mention what had happened. It was fucking painful for you, you had broken your engagement in front of everyone. "And I saw you crying last night... and this morning before your mission..." she added. 
"I cry a lot, but I am still very productive. I can do my work with a broken heart." You replied with a simple shrug, much to Rhysand's dismay. You had always been like that, had always hidden your feelings and done your work even when you were breaking down.
“You’re a real tough kid.” He said softly, violet eyes eyeing you closely, “you complete all your missions seamlessly. You are an example to follow.” 
You chuckled dryly, “yeah, yeah, I am the best. Can I go get ready for tonight? I got the most beautiful dress and I want to try it on.” With that, the couple simply nodded and excused you. 
They were right to be impressed. You wanted to die, and yet— you were ready to shine that night, like every other night. 
Ready to show everyone lies. 
-
The ball in the House of Wind went off without a problem, and like every other night-- you were the center of attention. The gown you wore was magnificent, the light reflected off you in a majestic manner, almost as if you wore liquid starlight in your frame. You stood at the side of the bar with Azriel, watching as everyone arrived, sipping on a tall glass of champagne. You knew Eris was coming, you needed to drink before seeing him. 
"You look pretty," the shadowsinger said in a stoic manner, hazel eyes traveling up and down your frame swiftly. You smirked into your glass, "as do you." 
"Have you spoken to him?" He asked, and you knew he referred to Eris. Azriel cared, and he showed it, having known you since the moment you had been born-- he was protective of you. Especially because he loathed Eris with all his being. 
"Please, he avoids me like I am faebane," you snorted, the alcohol working its magic on you already. And you were grateful for it, because you almost choked when your eyes met the red - haired male that had once promised he would love you for his whole life. What a short life. 
You felt Azriel's eyes on you, his shadows coiling around your ankles in support as you watched Eris strut into the ball as if he owned it. He commanded the room, but that was normal. He was a magnetic force of a male. You looked at Azriel, seeking shelter in his hazel eyes-- the mating bond was tugging you to Eris, his presence was like a fire roaring inside your heart. 
You were about to break down, so you hit the dance floor. Dragging your sister-in-law from her seat next to your brother, you danced and danced. Feyre and you were always a force to be reckoned with when you partied together, and that night was no exception. You both were grinning as you danced, twirling about the Hall as if you were made of starlight. 
The crowd of fae chanted and cheered for you, and you could feel the pieces of your heart shattering on the floor. It was always like that. You were miserable, and no one even knew. You laughed as you danced with Feyre, as if you couldn't feel your mate's heartbreak from across the room. "Eris looks like he wants to die," Feyre whispered as if she could read your mind. 
"Yeah, but if I try to talk to him, he avoids me like I have fae plague," you snickered, your eyes finding the heir of Autumn. As soon as your eyes found his, they were looking away from you, as if he hadn't been watching you dance. You wanted to die, but instead you twirled and grinned as if you were having the time of your life. 
"Then let me talk to him," the High Lady offered, and you stopped your dancing, giving her a stern look. 
"I can handle my shit, Feyre." 
-
Author’s note:
This will probably have a part two because i love eris and i want him to be happy. Also ttpd has me in my feels soooooo probs a lot of angst coming ehfuhihoiqhioghhrueiuifio3iij4rijj
Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @sheblogs
187 notes · View notes
bestworstcase · 6 months
Text
in light of the v9 lore confirming the unreliable nature of jinn’s narration (light was not the “elder” brother), together with the glaring falsehood in the narration implying that salem lied when she truthfully “blamed the end of the world on the gods”
i’m not hedging anymore. we cannot trust jinn’s account of what salem told people during her rebellion, full stop.
“If she were to turn humanity against Light and Darkness, she could rid herself of their curse—or at the very least, she could make them suffer. Salem traveled from one kingdom to another, telling tales of how she stole immortality from the gods, inviting any swordsman to cut her down, and demonstrated her powers. With the kings and queens in awe, she pulled them deeper into her scheme; she painted them pictures of a time when they would no longer have to watch their loved ones wither and die, when they could claim the powers of their creators for themselves, and in turn, perfect their own design. All they needed to do was destroy their old masters.”
jinn describes this campaign as if salem deceived everyone, maliciously tricked them into serving as pawns in her hatred of the gods—but
when she’s beaten, salem stands up and vows to “tell the world of this massacre”—she’s enraged and horrified on behalf of the slain. she’s horrified when the god of darkness tells her he killed everyone. her reactions do not support the implication that these people meant nothing to her.
there is a strong ideological continuity between “overthrow our old masters, claim the powers of our creators for ourselves, and perfect our own design” and “we could be the gods of this world […] create the paradise the old gods could not.” this continuity suggests that salem actually believes in this cause, enough to hold onto it for millions of years.
so, did salem really claim to have ‘stolen’ immortality from the gods… or did she tell her allies that she became immortal through submersion in the fountain of life? that the gods can bring people back from the dead, and simply choose not to because they care only about enforcing their will? did she “pull them deeper into her scheme” or did she talk openly of what she had learned about the cruelty and fallibility of the gods? did she deceptively trick people into following her with fantasies of immortality or did she just pull back the curtain to reveal that the permanent ending of death only existed by arbitrary divine fiat that self-evidently can be changed?
just as jinn’s narration framed salem implicitly vowing to revere darkness above light if he helped her as salem deceiving and manipulating him by “making no mention of his elder” (<- why would she? this bargain was between her and darkness), this account of what salem did to foment rebellion against the gods aligns closely enough with the truth (salem did gain divine power, eternal death is an arbitrary rule, and the gods are fallible) that what it really comes down to is whether we trust jinn’s description of salem’s intentions.
did salem lie, or did she tell the truth in defiance of how the god of light thinks the world should be? did she deceive people, or did she reveal the brothers’ deceptions?
the god of light—and therefore ozpin and therefore jinn—see salem as a puppet-master making the whole world dance to her tune. “who has led you down this path?” he asks. she’s his scapegoat. but salem knelt before thrones and invited people to slit her throat to prove that she was telling the truth, and she isn’t the one who leads the army into light’s domain; she walks among them, not in front. in a story told with such robust symbolic language, that kind of storytelling choice matters.
she may have started the rebellion, but it became bigger than her; i don’t think salem even saw herself as their leader, necessarily. otherwise why not lead the way?
jinn’s narration—ozpin’s side of the story—devotes so much effort toward creating the impression that salem is a duplicitous, manipulative liar (like ozma), and then… salem hates being lied to. salem yells and throws tables when people lie to her. the cruelest thing salem can think of to say to oscar when she decides to hurt him is “the lies come out of you so easily; likeminded souls, indeed.” the opening lines of the show amount to salem saying that ozpin’s legends and fairytales aren’t true, that he’s obscured the “forgotten past.” both of her songs rage against ozma’s deceit—maidens and kingdoms wrapped up in a lie, and these children you mislead, and the more you try the more you’ll just breed hate and lies/truth will rise revealed by mirrored eyes. salem as a character is consistently associated with the truth and her hatred of deception is one of her most pronounced traits.
the lost fable is unreliably narrated—we now know this for a fact, because jinn describes the god of light as the elder brother and that is not true. there are many noticeable discrepancies between the narration and what’s actually shown. “stories aren’t reality” and “truth is hard to come by” are overtly-stated themes. and the lost fable answers the question “what is ozpin hiding from us?” and is thus presented strictly through his eyes.
in the fairytale anthology, ozpin helpfully informs the reader that stories like ‘the girl in the tower’ and ‘the infinite man’ are propaganda, not the truth.
so…
do we really believe this repeated claim that every word out of salem’s mouth is a manipulative lie? words we’re not even allowed to hear for ourselves? when the characters telling us that salem lied are ozpin and a bound spirit recounting ozpin’s side of the story? in the unreliable narrators show?
is the word gullible written on the ceiling?
321 notes · View notes
kairiscorner · 11 months
Text
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
imagine being forced to marry miggy because it's your canon event and like you both are now
bound by fake vows — miguel o'hara x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: do you take him to be your lawfully wedded husband? well, your real choice doesn't matter. choices aren't given to people, they're predetermined by the multiverse. you and miguel were resigned to married life after he discovered it was a canon event for the two of you to be married for... the multiverse only knows how long. not wanting to ruin innocent lives and destroy a whole universe, you accepted your fate and got married to him, but it didn't mean you had to pretend you were happy about it, about being with him. word count: 1,477
Tumblr media
"do you take miguel o'hara to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the wedding officiant's voice rang in your head, the bright lights from the windows as the sunlight poured into the room as the witnesses to your marriage to this man looked on, not expecting you to say no because... because there was no way to say no. to them, miguel looked like he was extremely eager to marry you out of love, out of affection for you, like how any ordinary person would want to marry someone dear to them for. but he was only eager to marry you because the multiverse dictated it, you were to be his spouse, you were to make him your husband, and you'd be stuck with him until the multiverse decides it's had its share of fun from your suffering already.
this doesn't feel real. you must be dreaming, right?
it was like you drifted off to sleep and never woke up, like you were living out a dream while being fully conscious, fully awake and living. you were in your new home, and it didn't feel real, you were in a world that you recognized, but at the same time, would never recognize as one you belonged in. you felt like you were in a world that was completely foreign to you, a home that shouldn't be yours but just is now; the sheets and mattress underneath you didn't feel familiar, it felt soft yet rigid all at the same time. it was definitely not your bed, yet you didn't freak out, you knew exactly whose bed this was.
you thought you knew where you were, but you had the feeling your mind was purposefully repressing your recollection of what this place was to you from coming back up and surfacing to the front of your mind, to prevent you from reminding yourself who you were now. you sighed as you threw yourself back onto the bed, feeling the other side of the bed was still warm and thoroughly wrinkled up from tossing and turning the previous night. that warmth, you could tell, wasn't yours. that warmth belonged to the man who now made your life his, but certainly had no intention of making his life yours.
you tried to close your eyes to sleep, to shake off this nightmare of imprisonment, of you agreeing to lose the freedom you deserved and looked forward to your whole life. you gave up your freedom in hopes of saving your dimension from it collapsing in on itself, and you tried not to hate him for keeping you shackled with him for the rest of your days, when all you wanted to do was live your life and see where fate would take you. you had a whole life ahead of yourself, a whole future you wanted to build by yourself; you had to fight your way out of everything that ever hindered you from living out your life the way you wanted it to go, but of course, miguel had to ramble to you that you had to let go of it all to make sure nobody else gets hurt.
why was he telling you all this, why did it have to be you? could the multiverse not have picked anyone else, does the multiverse expect you two to agree and get married so nobody else has to die senselessly from your refusal? what happened to having a choice?
of course. the multiverse hated seeing you happy.
"if it makes you feel any better, i'll take care of everything for you from now on." he muttered to you as he escorted you in his car after the 'ceremony', and though you would've appreciated this small sliver of concern from him, you scorned it due to how dismissive your new husband seemed. he didn't even look at you a single moment in that who process of tying the knot, the knot that kept tied up and bound to him. you didn't feel the least bit embarrassed or guilty for barely giving an audible "i do," to the wedding officiator when you were asked if you'd take miguel as your husband.
all that ran in your mind was: why?
why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?
why me? why him?
you promised yourself you wouldn't cry, you wouldn't choke on any tears, you wouldn't shed any tears as you let go of your autonomy that you fought hard for when you ran away from home, got yourself through college all by yourself, and scrounged enough money for yourself to leave your old life behind and swear never to let anyone, anyone, order you around and dictate how your life would be lived ever again.
but here you were, a new shiny ring on your right hand, one that matched the one on his left--the one he didn't care to wear after the ceremony and placed in his breast pocket because he complained it was 'too small'.
'he dares complain it's too small when he bought these both himself. what a clown.' you thought to yourself as you scowled at him, feeling a hot rumble of upcoming tears well up in your eyes, and a feeling of cold helplessness envelope around you; these conflicting emotions you were experiencing right now were enough to make you go insane. yes, you agreed to marry him, but why lie to yourself and say you were happy to marry him, that you loved him like no other man who entered your life and wanted to spend the rest of your days with him?
why marry the man who stole your freedom from you?
a silence fell upon you two as the tears came falling down upon your new dress, which wasn't at all anything like the dresses your friends donned on their happiest days. you dreamed of your happiest day being probably 5 or 10 years into the future, and yes, you weren't getting any younger, but what kind of life was this? was this even worth living, being reduced to the spouse of a man you merely consider as a colleague at best, a stranger at worst?
he looked over at you from the corner of his eye, his stoic expression unchanging as he darted his eyes from you to the road ahead of him. "...i didn't want this, either." he murmured as you began to sniffle. he didn't offer you any words or touch of comfort, he didn't feel qualified to give you any of that. who was he to you if not a captor, right? he roped you into this, and now, you were both paying the price. "but you let it dictate what would become of us." you whispered with a shiver in your voice as you sobbed.
miguel didn't quiver, he didn't evidently show you he felt guilty for his decision, for your decision to agree with him. he didn't speak to you for the duration of the car ride until he brought you to his home, where you will spend the rest of your life with... until the multiverse says otherwise.
you two were to share a room, unfortunately. though he promises you that he has zero intentions of touching you, he'd sleep on the couch if you wanted, but you couldn't bear to hear it. you headed up to the new room you were sleep in for the remainder of your life and slammed the door on him, with miguel sighing as he clicks his tongue, asking lyla to chill his beer for him as he sat back on the couch and leaned his head back before the AI alerted him his beer was now cold.
as miguel went to get his beer, he stared at his reflection from the glass. who was this sullen, melancholic man staring back at himself? a genius geneticist? an unknowing murderer of a whole universe he never belonged to? a revered and feared leader of a supreme society of spider folk? an overworked man who finds himself sleeping at his desk and waking up at the crack of dawn to back pains and a backlog of work? a husband?
whatever, it didn't matter, not anymore. as he opened his beer and took three gulps of it, he sighed as he looked up at the door of the room that used to be just his. he really hates what he has to do sometimes, but he's the only one who can do it. he knows you care, you don't want innocent lives and a whole universe to be destroyed because of you.
miguel just hates how you had to be dragged in to all of this, all of this chaos he never wanted anyone else to suffer with him.
a/n: might make a part 2 or smth, if tumblr makes this flop, part 2 is out the fucking window 😡
tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck @fiannee @fictarian @yuridopted0 @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok
655 notes · View notes