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monstrousmuse · 2 months

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Some of my favourite excerpts from the second part of the interview:

“We know psychologically that Ford is not travelling this path alone. He’s travelling it with his Muse, who he has a very complex and fucked up relationship with. And even in Ford’s private thoughts, he would not say ‘I’m alone’, he would say ‘oh, I have very important relationship in my life with Bill, but I don’t have a friend. (…) Ford is not alone in his mind, even though he is extraordinarily alone.”

…

“The things that Ford said as McGucket left weren't "I value you and I'm sorry we have a difference of opinion," it was "get the hell out of here you hillbilly, you don't understand science!" (…) He was really cruel to McGucket. He was cold to him, and they did not talk for thirty more years after that.(…) But we knew that if McGucket created the memory gun after their break up, there could be no explanation of it in the journal. (…) And he so wants to please Ford. (…) McGucket doesn't really know what's going on, but he's internalizing and thinking, "I just need to be a better partner.’”

…

“To me, the greatest compliment that I can receive as a creator is somebody saying "this resonated with me." Our goal is to make characters that have a human truth in them (…) My feeling is that the customer is always right. Like, if the character is gay to you, they're gay. (…) That's sort of the magic of fiction.. (…) That's the hope. My feeling is that if we do our job, people feel a truth and they connect to it.”

…

“Ford was a very challenging character to conceive. (…) We knew his job narratively was to give Stan the biggest chip on his shoulder that we could think of. (…) He has to be smarter than Stan. He has to be fitter, and better at fighting than Stan too. He's not gonna be some little shrinking nerd. It would be a pretty fair fight between him and Stan (…) Ford has the formal training, and Stan just has the madness.”

“You know the damage someone's family has done to them by all of their weird tics and behaviors. (….) Who is the character who would result in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad and also longing?”

“We came up with this guy who kinda seemed too perfect. He's aloof, and distant, and he's too perfect. And it's like, "oh, I think he's also aloof and distant from himself." (…) I think he is deeply, deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn't have friendships, he doesn't have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged.”

“Ford shows none of that. He has sublimated himself romantically so, so deeply. (…) I really thought of Ford kind of like Tesla in that realm.”

-Alex Hirsch, 2023

…

part one

#gravity falls #alex hirsch #bill cipher #stanford pines #ford pines #stanley pines #stan pines #billford #fiddauthor #the implications and connotations here are just…#‘ford pines is gay confirmed’#this is some truly profound stuff. hirsch…

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imasimpforshanks · 1 year

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the moment they knew you were the one

ft. luffy, zoro, ace, sanji, shanks, law, sabo

a/n: Some more fluff n love because I’m a hopeless romantic

luffy realizes you’re the one for him when he finds himself saving some of his food just to share with you. sure he may be pouting at the fact that less food will be filling his stomach, but, the second your eyes sparkle and your body does that little happy dance as you take a bite of his food, luffy decides that he’d share anything with you if it meant you’d be that happy.

zoro knew you were the one when he would look for you even when you weren’t around. even if he knew you were away, zoro would always turn to the side expecting you to be there. it felt weird, unnatural - wrong, even - for you to not be by his side. it was then that he realized he couldn’t imagine his life without you.

ace realized you were the one for him during your first fight. he looked like an absolute madman smiling while you were yelling at him about god knows what. “why the hell are you smiling now, of all times, you ass!?” you remarked. ace could only stare at you fondly, smile widening as he responded “because i’d rather argue with you than laugh with anyone else.” and it was true. ace wanted to experience everything with you; the good and the bad.

sanji had always heard people say “when you know, you know.” and god, they were right. because the second sanji laid eyes on you, he knew. he knew with his entire heart and soul that you were the one for him.

shanks knew you were the one when he was caught humming love songs randomly throughout the day. he didn’t even notice he was doing it until benn pointed it out, “boss, you’re doing it again.” shanks would look at him confused, “doing what?” he’d grin from ear-to-ear at the new revelation, deciding to sing the next love song at the top of his lungs. you were the one for him and he wanted everyone to know.

for law it wasn’t any one moment. there were many little moments along the way which culminated in his realization. the cup of hot coffee you left on his desk before you went to bed because you knew he’d be up late, the pout on your lips when he would say “no, we can’t take home another stray cat”, the way you would stick your tongue out when concentrating. everyday with you only made law more certain that you were the one.

sabo knew you were the one the second he opened your gift. it was something he only mentioned to you briefly once as the both of you passed by a store months ago. he looked at you, smiling at the way you bit your lip - a nervous tic of yours. his features softened as he realized ‘no one has ever paid attention to me like this.’ his attention was brought back by his name falling from your lips, “sabo? do you like it?”, scooping you up in his arms and spinning you around, he replied “like it? i love it!”

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ninzied · 2 months

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where ground meets light

alex and henry go on a double date. modern au. based on the prompt: a kiss to distract, for @caressthosecheekbones. ~1.2k.

They’ve only been dating a few weeks when he suggests it.

“Sorry.” Henry has to take this all in for a moment. Surely he must have misheard. “You want to go on a double date? With Alex?”

“Is that weird?” Gregory asks, in the manner of one who’s merely being rhetorical. “He’s your best friend. I want to get to know him better.”

“Well. Sure,” Henry says, because he cannot think of a single reasonable objection that a normal person would make. A normal person who’s not been harboring an ill-advised torch for his best friend for years. “Though,” he hedges, as if the thought’s just occurring to him, “I’m not sure he’s dating anyone at the moment.”

Henry would know if he is. In fact, according to Pez, the whole world would be hard-pressed not to notice because of the moods Henry gets in when it happens.

But it’s been well over a month now since his latest “little London fog,” as Pez calls it, so Henry mentions the idea to Alex as an afterthought, thinking there’s no real danger of him saying yes.

“Great!” says Alex brightly. “I’ll bring Yvette.”

He’ll bring fucking whom?

Yvette is a bloody knockout, of course.

Henry expects nothing less. Alex is only the most beautiful man who’s ever walked the planet, so it stands to reason that his date should look as she does.

The more unfortunate thing is that Yvette is also supremely likable. She’s warm, and funny, and seems to share Alex’s knack for livening up the conversation as though they’ve all been friends for years.

By all counts, the date should be a success. Henry laughs more than he thought he would and drinks far less than he thought he would need to. Alex is impressed by the food, which makes Henry feel absurdly pleased to have chosen this particular restaurant.

And, perhaps most importantly: because they’re seated at a round table with Alex angled off to his left, Henry hasn’t caught himself staring at him even once.

Perhaps he’s not so at risk of giving himself away as he’d thought.

The trouble, turns out, starts elsewhere.

The trouble is that Henry doesn’t have to be looking at Alex to be attuned to his every feeling and movement.

The way Alex’s knee keeps jittering under the table. The tic in his finger as he taps, then stills. Taps, then stills. The fact that he’s hardly stopped for a breath since they sat down.

He’s antsy, and miserable, but he’s trying so hard and his smile’s so vibrant that not a single person can tell. Not a one but Henry, and he needs to do something, needs Alex to know that he’s seen.

“Darling,” says Henry, without even thinking, and puts his hand on Alex’s wrist. Christ. Fuck. What did he say? What is he doing? But none of that seems to matter right now. “Are you all right?”

He feels Alex relax as though instantly calmed by that one simple touch, and Henry knows that if Alex hadn’t been all right before, he is more so now, somehow.

“Another round of drinks?” Henry asks the table, not even waiting, not even looking, before pulling Alex to his feet. “We’ll be right back.”

This is the difference between them. They both have their moods, but Henry wears his on his sleeve and has to shut himself away until it’s passed.

Alex, meanwhile, hides his in plain sight from most people, but Henry likes to think he’s not most people, and as soon as they’re at the bar out of earshot he looks Alex in the eye and says, “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Was it that obvious? Fuck.” Alex shakes his head. “It’s nothing, Hen, just—want to make a good first impression, you know?”

Henry’s brow furrows. He tells that jealous little twinge in his chest that now is not the time. “Is this your first date with Yvette or something?” No wonder he’s not heard of her earlier. “Christ, Alex, why didn’t you say so sooner? You didn’t have to come if you didn’t—”

Alex laughs under his breath for some reason. “We’re not dating.”

“You’re—what?”

“She’s a friend,” says Alex. “She’s helping me out. And if the lov—I mean, if my best friend’s boyfriend wants to meet me, I’m going to need all the help I can get.”

Henry’s chest is positively aching now. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he says, firmly despite how breathless he feels. “It’s not that dire, trust me. We’ve only been on, like, three dates before this one.”

“Oh.” Alex seems to process this. His expression looks lighter for just a split second before it gets all heavy again. “Well, if you’re wanting there to be a fifth, you should probably talk to him before it’s too late. Looks like he’s about to leave.”

Henry glances over his shoulder, and sighs. “I should probably talk to him, yeah.”

Gregory is putting his coat on as Henry walks over. They both muster up a small smile, Henry’s more rueful, Gregory’s resigned.

“I’m really sorry,” Henry says, and means it.

“It’s okay. I’m not going to make it into a thing,” Gregory says. “Unless you’re about to tell me to stay. That would be pushing it.”

“I’m not,” Henry admits. “What I did want to say is that—well, I haven’t been entirely honest with myself about what I want. Which means I haven’t been honest with you, and that’s not fair to you at all.”

Gregory nods. “I do like you, Henry. You deserve to be happy. And I deserve to not be the guy that you use as an excuse to keep standing in your own way.” He glances at Alex back at the bar. Yvette is there now too, flirting up a storm with the bartender.

“I wanted to get to know your best friend,” Gregory continues. “And now that I have, I can say that he’s a really lucky guy.” He gives Henry a meaningful look. “Even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

Alex straightens as Henry approaches the bar, an untouched whiskey in one hand. “What are you doing? I thought you were going to go talk to him.”

“I did.” Henry shrugs, and helps himself to Alex’s drink.

Alex is looking as though he’ll never again know happiness in this world. “I fucked things up for you, didn’t I. Fuck.”

“What? No,” says Henry, but Alex doesn’t seem to be listening. “Alex. Alex.”

“Do you want me to go talk to him? I can explain.” Alex runs a hand through his hair, sending his curls all breathtakingly askew.

He doesn’t even know, Henry marvels. He doesn’t even know.

“I mean, it’s not your fault that I—” Alex breaks off with a frustrated sigh before starting back up again. “I’ll tell him that you don’t feel the same way, and that I’m really fucking sorry I ruined your night with my—you know—feelings, and—”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Henry says.

Then he leans in and kisses him, because Alex is an unstoppable force, and this is the one place where Henry has not been brave enough to meet him, until now.

Alex goes quiet at last, save for the sigh he lets out as their lips part and his hands find Henry’s waist and pull in.

“Whoa,” he breathes after a moment. “Yeah, we gotta do that again.”

“Shh,” Henry murmurs, “we were doing so well.” He puts his hand on Alex’s nape, drawing him back in.

Alex kisses him back like it’s the only thing that centers him, the only thing that keeps him grounded, and Henry—well.

Henry can’t help but think that it feels a bit like flying, too.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrbsource #rwrb fic #firstprince #firstprince fic #rwrb fanfic #firstprince fanfic #iuserzoe #userveronika #chrissiewatts #usersteen #usernuria

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scary-lasagna · 8 months

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I LOVED THE VAMPIRE POST SMM. So like would Liu, EJ, BEN and Jeff let their vampire s/o bite them and drink their blood?

Homicidal Liu

Liu is squeamish when it comes to blood due to his past trauma of obvious reasons.

And even with a high pain tolerance, he wouldn't voluntarily allow himself to be bitten.

Many risks come with the first bite; An artery could be sliced, blood infection, too much blood loss, you hate the way his blood tastes so therefore you will hate him forever.

That last one was just Liu's imgaination running wild, but all together it's pretty risky.

He might offer a test bite, not a full chomp, but a little nibble on his arm to see how it feels. A pinprick was all he could describe it as.

But he quickly backed out once he caught wind of the blood trickling down his arm.

He might allow a second attempt, but not anytime soon.

Sully, however, is a different story. He would let you drink this body dry, and force Liu forward in the middle of it just to be a sadistic asshole.

Either way, they're both willing to try at least once.

Eyeless Jack

Jack doesn't think that you would enjoy his blood very much.

Much like the liquid that seeps from his eye sockets, his blood has a tar-like consistency.

It wouldn't go down easy, and if your body rejects it since it's not truly 'blood', it won't come back up easy either.

Ultimately, Jack says no due to your safety. It just too big of a risk for Jack to feel comfortable letting you take a bite out of him.

Jelly donuts are better, anyway. Especially at 3am while everyone else is asleep.

BEN

BEN will act tough and dominant up until it's actually time for you to bite him.

He'll get squirmy and find excuses to delay the inevitable now that he's talked the big talk and agreed to do it.

You'll of course call him out on it, and will nervously sit down and away from his stack of DS games that he wanted to organize alphabetically.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" You ask him, with a comforting hand on his knee.

"Yeah.." Ben sighs and rubs the back of his neck with a nervous tic. " I'm just afraid it'll hurt or I make a weird noise or something." He chuckles lightly.

"We can start, and if you want to stop we can and I won't judge you for it." You reassure. "Or we can do blood lettings which doesn't involve biting."

"It's that like plague doctor shit, though?"

"Well yeah but it doesn't invol-"

"Just take a bite, babe."

He trusts you with all of his heart. And he lets you take a bite.

And yes, he does make a weird sound.

Jeff

Oh hell yeah, fucking go for it.

No questions asked.

Jeff thinks it's hardcore, and frankly, he's not experienced enough to know the dangers of blood letting or blood biting. He just thinks your hot and that you wanna bite him.

And honestly? Go for it. He's probably got a few diseases lurking in there but you're immortal so it doesn't affect you.

He would urge you to keep going even after he feels light headed, just ot see how long he can stay awake.

Jeff can be an extremely convincing individual, but do not trust him.

He can and will pass out and then you will have to call Eyeless Jack and explain everything to him.

He will not be happy.

Jeff will try to kiss him thinking that he's you.

And then Jeff will get swatted away and start crying out of rejection

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d0g0r0t · 7 months

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can I pls have yandere Toby??? pretty please

Yandera Toby

TW:GROSS SHIT!!! Obsession, stalking, violence, sh

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!

He's low-key so pathetic

Seeing how pretty and kind you are he couldn't help but fall... well become obsessed

Your his!.... who the fuck are they? Why aren't you with him your supposed to be with him not them!

Yea no. He's all over the place when it comes to you

He'll sneak into your house, stealing things that smell like you or remind him of you

Stealing your perfume and using that shit like Febreze. He can barely breath in his own room anymore cause he used the whole bottle, reeking the room with your smell

He steals your deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, bodywash. Just to feel a little closer to you

He takes your underwear every now and then. Over time you'll find it on your door step all... sticky and.. what the fuck is that smell?

It's gross.

He takes your worn out shirts ALOT. You always looking threw your closet trying to find that one band tee the just suddenly disappeared

He'll give them back once he has you <3

Leaving you with little hickeys and red bruises on your neck when you sleep

He loves seeing you wake up in the morning confused on why you have these marks on your throat knowing damn well you didn't go out that night

He really does like you. He sees his obsession as a simple crush when it really isnt

He's never had someone he can see romantically so it was weird when he found out he DID love you

He gets emotional. Seeing you with someone else or not by his side

It feels like your betraying him even tho you don't know he exists

He talks about you SO.MUCH

It's like that stupid "hey masky" thing but instead it's "y/n" over and over again

Tim AND Brian have both rocked his shit because he wouldn't shut up

He has so many pictures of you on his walls. Some of you sleep, some of you eating, working, brushing your teeth, bathing. It's insane how many his got of you

He stalks your socials with his victims phones, getting BEN to figure your locations and you WHOLE life story

He knows a little to much about you

"Oh! Y/n order pizza last night at 7:46pm!"

"How... how the fuck do you know that?.."

He knows all of your accounts on and social. He wants to like your stuff but he doesn't want you to know him just yet

He screenshots your stuff and favoring all your videos to the phone

His wallpaper his your face and his password his you name or birthday

His tics slowly started to form around you as well. Him randomly stuttering out your name or something about you

The moment he actually kidnaps you is when he killed everyone you know and love

He's the only one you should love and think about. Just like him!

He holds you in his bed, ropes around you wrists and ankles

He would never put you in some nasty basement your to pretty for something like that

He stares at you for hours. Watching you struggle and squirm as desperate tears stream down your face. His head and arms rested up on the bed as he just watches you

He only keeps you tied you to his bed for a little while

He may be crazy but he's not abusive and wants you to be comfortable... kinda

He never hurts you, or tries not to

The only time he'll hurt you is if you try to leave him

But let's just hope you don't do that

He keeps you locked in his room for God who knows how long

He brings you your favorite goods and drinks and overall treats you well

He knows you won't love him right away but he doesn't want you to hate him

He asks if he can touch you or do certain things

If you say yes he's praising you and thanking you. But if you say no he begs for a bit but understand after a moment

He doesn't want to hurt you, he really doesn't

The idea of you being in pain from his hands reminds him of his father and the way Lyra looked after every beating broke him

He doesn't want to see you like that

He literally BEGS you if he can kiss you. On his hands and knees "PLEASEEEEEEE"

When you do he's shaky and doesn't know where to put his hands. He gets so needy for your lips and becomes a bit aggressive

Biting your lips, shoving his tounge in your mouth. It's wild

He bites at his fingers so much just thinking about you to where he starts bleeding.

Or scratching at his skin at the thought of you with someone else

Sad

NSFW

GROSS SHIT!!!_______________________________________

Jerks off to your pictures every night no questions asked

Uses your underwear as a cum rag hints why it's so gross and sticky

He's moaning your name softly as he cums, whimpering and gripping at the sheets just thinking about how gorgeous you are

CAN NOT control himself around you

He has so little sex life he's like a 14 boy who just hit puberty and can't look at a girl in the eyes

He's tenting so bad it looks actually painful

When you catch him staring at your body he turns in a mess apologizing that he was looking at the he didn't mean it like that. And covering his boner...

The thought of YOU and HIM was like a dream that he knew would never happen.

Feeling your soft gummy walls around him is all he thought about

When ever he touches you he gets needy and wanting to touch you even more

If you two are ACTUALLY involved don't be surprised when randomly you get groped aggressively

He loves seeing you squirming and trembling under him. Soft tears streaming down your pink face as he bucks himself balls deep. Heavenly

SORRY ONCE AGAIN SHIT IS TAKING SO LONGGG

Also ik u didn't ask for NSFW I just had to 💀

#creepypasta #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby #slenderman #toby rogers #x reader #crp #creepypasta x reader

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magiccath · 1 month

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Weirdly specific headcanons Pt. 2 (Tenth Doctor x Reader)

a/n: finals fried my brain again, have some headcanons (new fics coming soon, I promise)

Says stuff like “2+2=5” with such confidence that you almost believe him

Secretly likes it when you and Donna call him “spaceman”

His favorite Earth snack is Goldfish (especially the colored ones)

Insufferable to watch movies with because he corrects everything

Traces words in circular Gallifreyan on your skin, usually on the back of your hand

Things like “I love you” and various nicknames he has for you

Often times when he fixes the TARDIS it doesn’t really need it, he just likes having something to do

Similarly, the TARDIS creates issues so he has to fix them

His love language is quality time, he just wants to be with you

Having you sit in the room while he fixes the TARDIS, showing you every single part of the universe, laying in bed on lazy days, etc

Needs constant reassurance and love

Cuddles too

Might not remember things like your birthday without reminders from the TARDIS

However, he knows exactly how you like your tea, your favorite color, and every single nervous tic you have

900+-year-old toddler

Requires constant supervision or he will cause harm to himself and/or others

Is absolute rubbish at cooking. Something always ends up burnt

Makes a mean cuppa though

He loves all kinds of cuddles but he really likes it when the two of you fall asleep spooning

Big fan of wrapping his entire body around you and tangling his limbs with yours

Also goes crazy for a good hug

Maybe his love language is also touch

He likes sitting on the floor for some reason, especially the TARDIS floor

Sits in chairs really weird too. Practically drapes himself across them with his long limbs sticking out and over the chair.

Has boundless amounts of energy. Is it a Time Lord thing or ADHD? We’ll never know (It’s both)

Knows enough random stuff to win Jepordy, but he would epically fail at it

Would correct every single answer and argue that he was right, not the answer sheet.

“Mount Rainier isn’t a volcano, fire aliens were just living under it.”

Loves ABBA and Queen. Can be often caught singing their songs to himself, especially when getting ready

Has a little troll doll collection in his room, among other strange 90s toys and random objects he likes

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etirabys · 22 days

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Apologies if this is personal and you don't want to answer (or you don't want to answer for any other reason!); if that is the case no worries. But anyway by virtue of the fact that I am (sort of) a linguist I often get curious about people's language situation. You speak English obviously but spent your childhood in Korea, and often went to the English language book store while there? What is like, your personal linguistic history? Like, what language(s) did you grow up speaking, which ones did you learn later and when, etc? How fluent do you consider yourself in both English and Korean? If you don't mind my asking.

Haha, this is a dream scenario for me (someone asking about a situation I find fascinating about myself because I've never met anyone else with that background, but is probably boring to most people). Here's a longer story than you probably want:

My parents emigrated to the US before I was born, stayed for a decade, and moved back to Korea right after I was born. They're conversational in English, and my sister (12 years my elder) is fluent. Speaking English is valuable in Korea, so they raised me to be bilingual. They taught me the alphabet, bought me English language children's books, and sent me to an English language school run by Christian missionaries for preschool, kindergarten, and part of first grade.

My sister left the country when I was three to go to a boarding school in the US, but she came back every year for holidays, spoke exclusively in English to me, and refused to let the conversation move on if I mispronounced a word.

When I was six, my parents moved further away from the missionaries' school and switched me to a neighborhood public elementary school. At this point I was mildly more fluent in English than in Korean. Reading (English books) was a self-sustaining reaction I spent every free hour on. There were fewer interesting Korean books for children. Korea had industrialized ~30 years prior, and the hangeul writing system had only been in full use ~50 years at that point. As far as I knew, there was no CS Lewis of Korea, no Tolkien, no Diana Wynne Jones. In Korean bookstores, many of the prominent books on display were translated – The Little Prince was popular for children, and there was a children's fiction fad around another French author (who afaik never made a splash in the States) whose name I forget.

So I'm reading like 10 hours a day, at the dinner table, on the escalator when my mom takes me while she's shopping, sometimes under the desk at school flipping the pages with my toes, because the teachers don't care. (This is a huge W as far as I'm concerned for Korea – public school teaching is a somewhat competitive and standardized government job, it attracts people who lack great passion for either teaching or controlling children.) Meanwhile my peers don't like me much because my vibes are rancid: I have a compulsive laugh tic I haven't gotten under control, and I don't seem to understand their preferences very well or actively seek to understand them. Fair enough. I have one friend at any given time and she's usually on the fence about me.

When I'm old enough to take the train on my own, some weekends my mom gives me 5000 won for the train ticket + lunch, and I go into Seoul to visit one bookstore that has a 10-shelf English section. I pick a book, spend the day finishing it, and go home. Instead of my English language skills lapsing and being overtaken by the language I'm immersed in, I'm going deeper into English. Which increased the disconnect between me and my peers. I remember overhearing a conversation about an anime (The Black Cat) and eagerly asking if they'd also read the Edgar Allen Poe short story. I wanted to much to talk about shared interests, but it didn't occur to me to "invite myself into their interests" by picking up the manga they talked about.

...this all made my childhood weird in ways that have shaped me hugely but are difficult to describe. I was isolated and not, happy and not, stimulated and not, developing unevenly...

At eleven I discover fanfiction.net, probably one of the most impactful events of my life. I'm running out of physical books, I've read everything five or ten times, but then the computer! has made a deal with me! It contains INFINITE LITERATURE, although sometimes people seemed to misspell things on purpose and I didn't know why. (I had, approximately, never encountered misspellings in written material before.) In return the internet would take MY SOUL FOREVER although I didn't realize this at the time. I post a 100K Harry Potter epic over the next year where Harry is trained by a special assassin cult that lives under a mountain.

My parents have no idea what is on the internet. They're on a new temporal continent with no clue there's a parasite that can turn your daughter into a fujoshi. They do know that they have a worrying child. But! Her grades are really good, especially when she's testing in English. Good enough that although they originally intended not to send me to the US (my sister got depressed and burned out, and they attributed it to sending her to a different country for school), it made much more sense for me to go. I was on track to get a full ride at an Ivy, a carrot they were Not Immune to, and I obviously despised Korea and wanted to leave.

When I arrived in the States, I was terrified of speaking English to real native speakers. My language experience was "reading/writing: 95% English, speaking/listening: 90% Korean". I could perfectly pronounce any English sentence when I tried, but I'd occasionally and bizarrely mix up R and L, or the vowel sounds "ih" and "eeh" if I weren't paying attention. This went away after a year but I felt extra shy and didn't talk much. I'd guess 80% of my social cachet in freshman year came from writing funny Facebook posts.

I remember my time in Korea without feeling bothered by any single aspect, but overall I still have a big sense of "wow I didn't like that", have avoided non-Americanized Korean people since getting here (ten years ago), and now speak Korean haltingly. I'll try to teach it to my children so that they have the option of that cultural connection, but I don't think I can do a good job. It's feels 90% true thinking/speaking Korean is just a normal skill, a thing I do sometimes on the phone – and 10% true that the happier and more whole I become in the US, the more unsettling it feels to speak Korean at all.

#dashreplies #max1461 #oof this is long. i'm like a slowly spinning pipe and if you whistle down me on the right day i'll just blare all this stuff out.#mixed feelings of wanting ppl to Get It (gestures at above) vs not wanting to overnarrativize – it's too easy to emphasize the wrong things #the way i explain this is often unsatisfying – which is why the above got so long – I'm trying not to condense in ways that feel wrong

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meowticta · 4 months

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recently saw post that goes like

''if you are young and going out in public with a mobility aid there probably will be an ''able-bodied'' kid watching you and feeling less alone. and just maybe they might try taking their aid outside, someday.''

(i copied it some parts)

dont wanna derail a post from physically disabled, (even tho i am one i think)

and god i wanna be that, i wanna be that person, that young person who tics and stims in public, who uses disability aids (if thats the correct word!) in public, such as earplugs (god bless that woman i saw in bus that also had the same earplugs that me!), noise cancellation headphones, stim toys, chewelry, etc etc, be ''weird'' in public.

i wanna be that teen that lets other kids know that its okay to be like that, we are different, but everyone is different somehow you know? i wanna let little kids who are also like me, kids who may be different for society that its fucking okay!! for god's sake you dont have to adapt to some perfectionist idea for people, and i understand not being able to.

bc of ableist parents, friends, family, etc, bc of own internalized ableism... but i know someday you will be free, you will tic and stim, and be weird, and be a ''freak''! reclaim the word! and you will shout to the top of the world, to all the people, that you Are Free.! and no one will take that away from you. no one can if you dont let them

i wanna be that teen, i wanna be that kid that is an inspiration for others, not in a ''inspiration porn'' for abled and neurotypical people, but for people like me.. for people who are similar to me, who just know understand how shitty and lovely the world can be, who are learning but dont forget that you will never be alone,

i spent most of the 10 years with my tourettes feeling that i was Alone in this world.

but i am not.

people can be so kind to eachother, people can love so much, and there will be people who will not have the same condition as you, but will support you no matter what, doesnt matter if its online. You have people who care!!!

#actually tourettic #tourette's syndrome #tics #tourette #tourettes #tourette syndrome #autism #crippunk #crip punk #cpunk #cripplepunk #cripple punk #disability #physically disabled #neuropunk #neurodivergent #ticpunk #tic punk

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be-good-to-bugs · 1 year

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OᴗO

#the bin #yay! im gonna get to see my lottle sister soon! its been 6 months since i last saw her #and i guess my other family members too but i dont really care about that. i wanna see my 1 little brother too. he is sweet #idk. i only feel any sort of connection with 2 of my family members and i live with one of them. the rest are just. there. i suppose.#NOT excited to see my extended family. or my other younger sibling cause hes a jerk. hopefully i wont have to see much family #i know theyre having a family gathering to make it easier for everyone to see us but i think ill get to sit it out. i hope.#i havent seen all but my aunt and grandparents since my tourettes diagnosis and i dont wanna deal with that awkwardness #they already think im weird bc of my crippling social anxiety i dont need them seeing me bark for 2 minutes straight :/#got. that would be awful. i already feel like they look at me weird and now my whole wardrobe is v alt and my tics are worse. scary #guess itll be good to see my grandparents. theyre very chill. stressful but not that bad. everyone else makes me wanna die every second

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emelinstriker · 6 months

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Shockwave ♤ Kiss The Spark

Might be my last TFP X Reader one-shot I'm dropping for now. I've got several other one-shots and even a full book that was in the works, but whenever I'll finish any, I have no idea.

[TL;DR] You really do be worrying your beloved cyclops scientist with the risks you take. And he finds it illogical.

♤ ~ Comfort ~ ♤

It was a lazy day for the two of you. Megatron was busy leading the Decepticon cause, as usual, and left Shockwave to his tools. Said mech was trying to work on basically recreating a predacon while you were watching him. It did make him a little uncomfortable with how you were basically staring at him, but he would never out right say it.

You were just supposed to be a random human he could study and experiment on after you were kidnapped by Knockout months ago. But now you were the lover of the warship's scientist. Basically his Conjunx Endura, and he did show some affection towards you while feeling some sort of emotion despite having undergone shadowplay. At first it felt like you were treated like a pet, which you technically were in the Decepticon's optic, but it was obvious he was lying to himself over time as you began to worm your way into his spark.

Despite the months of love and care, he slowly started neglecting you due to the cause being his main priority. Sure, he did give you food and your own box corner that felt like a small apartment, but his affection towards you decreased and you were missing it. You were missing the freetime you had and spent simply roaming around the Nevada desert whenever you landed. You wanted to relive that.

"Hey, Shocky?" He didn't bother turning around to face you as he continued working, not answering. But you knew he was listening. "When do you have time to hang out again?" You asked with a hopeful gaze at the back of his helm.

He ceased his movements for a moment, turned his optic toward you and said, "Most likely when I am finished with this project. I do not know how long it will take. It would be most logical of you to simply wait."

You frowned at his response and started to make your way towards the door. "Oh, okay... I'll leave you to it then..." The giant metal doors slid opened for you and closed once you passed the threshold. Shockwave knew you left but didn't bother stopping you as the project took priority. However, that doesn't mean he didn't feel more empty when you were out of the room.

And it finally seemed too much after two agonizing hours of not having you around him. He told himself he would do a quick check-up on you to ensure you were all fine. So, he left the project on his table before making his way to the bridge where he knew Soundwave would possibly still be with you.

Unsurprisingly, he was right. Well, half right. Soundwave was at the bridge, but you were nowhere to be found. Of course there had to be a reason for it, and who would know better than the slender mech himself. "Soundwave," the cyclops started as he approached the other working Decepticon, "where is (Y/N)?"

The TIC ceased his movements before typing away again, revealing groundbridge coordinates on the screen. The coordinates seemed to lead into town, close to a few stores but far away enough for a small groundbridge to go undetected. Soundwave turned his helm towards the mech behind him as he slightly lifted a servo at the screen to point at it. Shockwave gave him a puzzled look- Or at least as puzzled as one could look with a single optic for a faceplate. "Why did you send them there?"

Instead of answering with more movements, Soundwave decided to simply play a voice clip he recorded of you in your own words. "Hey, Sounders, could I maybe go to town? I need to see if I can buy some material for [...]. I know it sounds weird, but hear me out-" The audio abruptly cut of before you could explain any further. And there was information missing, most likely to keep whatever you were planning a secret from the scientist. It seemed illogical for you to be plotting something behind his back however. Thus he didn't question the TIC any further about the audio.

"When will they return?" Soundwave played another clip in response, "I'll call you when I got everything, alright? Shouldn't take more than two hours max."

And as if on cue, a sudden personalized ringtone rang out on the bridge with an image of you on the screen. Their optics glanced at the screen before Soundwave answered the call. You sounded like you were out of breath. And Shockwave was able to feel your anxiety through your bond.

"H-Heya, Sounders!" You dramatically exhaled a large portion of air before continuing in a rather quick way. "Please don't tell Shocky, but I kinda ran into some trouble and am being chased by a gang with weapons. I managed to escape unscathed, but I sadly didn't get some other things." You took another deep breath. "And as much as I wanna grab some extras, I don't think I'd be alive on my way back if I did that. At least I got enough for one."

As both mechs became concerned, Shockwave decided to speak up. "(Y/N), are you in a safe location? Do you require a groundbridge immediately?"

The voice caught you by surprise, but you were also a little relieved to hear him. "I-I'm not far enough from people yet. I'm across the street from the gang right now and they seem to have lost me. But there's an alleyway here." You then proceeded to walk down the dark alley. "I don't think there's a second gang in here so I should be-" You cut yourself off as you looked behind you with wide eyes. The fear you gave off reached the scientist instantly.

"(Y/N)? Are you alright? What happened?" Your sudden silence made them even more worried. The silence wasn't there for long though as harsh winds clashed with your phone, indicating that you were running.

"They found me! I-I can't run any longer! My bags are- are slowing me down! And they want my bags and my money! But I need them! And whAT THE FUCK- WHY?!"

Turns out the alley had a deadend.

The two mechs could faintly hear one guy say something, but it was inaudible. But they could hear one who was closer. "You're right. Why should we just take their belongings if we could have some fun with them as extra?"

While the cyclops was able to feel your hopeless anxiety already, the call managed to catch the sounds of your sniffles. You hiccuped as you whispered into your phone, "I need you, Shockwave." You usually weren't scared of most things- Hell, you made a giant alien robot fall in love with you and managed to befriend others on the warship, deeming them as family! And they wanted to cyberform the earth! But being in this situation, alone, far away from your family, with just some useless things you bought... It scared you.

And this was something that truly angered Shockwave for once. The fact that you used his actual name instead of a nickname told him how trapped you truly felt.

It sent him over the edge.

"Soundwave. Groundbridge to their coordinates. Now", he commanded firmly.

The masked mech, despite being kind of surprised by the taller mech's sudden show of emotions, did as he was told. The scientist didn't waste time in running towards the now open swirly green portal. He didn't even bother transforming and using his holoform.

These humans deserved to suffer.

By his true form's servos.

You were backed up into the deadend when you noticed a familiar green light pop up behind you. Out of instinct you moved aside as the gang stared at it, not knowing if this were special effects to scare them off. That's when you saw Shockwave step out of the portal. He took a moment to take in his surroundings before spotting you next to his pedes, shivering from shock, but still smiling up at him with teary eyes. "H-Hi, hun..."

"Go home, sweetspark. I'll meet you there."

He said. Then he watched as you somewhat clumsily sprinted through the groundbridge, two bags in hand, before he turned back towards the group of humans.

"It would be illogical of me not to dispose of lifeforms that pose a threat to my sparkmate."

What was mercy? In that moment, he couldn't recall.

While waiting, you were next to Soundwave, being comforted by his tendrils as you held onto one like a big teddy bear. Your bags were sitting behind you. Shockwave finally returned a few minutes later, groundbridge closing behind him. His servo and pedes were completely bloody. You also spotted a bit of blood on the rest of his frame- even a tiny bit on the side of his helm. He walked up to your still slightly shaken form. "Did they harm them in any way?" He asked the other mech, who previously ran a scan on you as safety precaution.

Soundwave responded with a simple "Negative" audio as he retracted his tendrils from you, now that your biggest comfort was here. You reluctantly let go of the tendril when a servo gently wrapped itself around you instead, picking you up. The purple mech didn't say another word to the shorter mech and simply walked off, all the while placing you on his shoulder pad. Sure, you were now a little bloody too, but you could just wash your clothes. While Shockwave felt the comforting relief through your bond, he still was upset about your reckless logic.

"You left the ship without my authorization or knowledge." Most would view his monotone yet commanding voice as a sign of pure anger, but you knew that he was actually worried sick.

"B-But I-" "You could have been hurt and I would not have been able to protect you. From now on, you are to stay on the warship if I'm.not accompanying you", he stated firmly, placing you on the table and coldly turning away towards his project.

Now that you were finally back in the lab, he wouldn't need to worry about you being hurt anymore, despite his spark not wanting to shut up about the slight bit of worry. However, due to you still being upset about the previous situation, you couldn't help but tear up again. You honestly didn't mean to make him mad and worried. He could feel it.

"I-I'm so s-sorry", you whispered as you hiccuped. "I-I just w-wanted to make y-you a gift..."

This caught the scientist's attention as his ear fins moved. A gift... for him? You went through the lengths of sneaking out(, despite Soundwave's knowledge of course), going to town alone, and running away from a street gang... just to make him a gift? So, naturally he demanded for an explanation for this stunt you tried to do.

You pulled your bags closer to your body as you sniffled, rummaging through one of them. "I-I bought materials f-for a self-made gift..." You then pulled out some purple fabric from the bag. Almost the same shade of purple as his frame. "I-It was supposed to be a plush toy version... of you..." A small, sheepish smile made its way onto your lips. The tears may have stopped flowing, but you still didn't feel quite comfortable in what you were presenting him. It wasn't even finished, after all. And you weren't even sure if he would like it.

"Giving me a toy version of myself is illogical." For a second, a frown replaced your smile. Thinking he didn't like the idea, you slowly starting lowering your arm in disappointment, wanting to put the fabric away again so he wouldn't have to see it.

"O-Oh, sorry... I thought-" "But, I appreciate the sentiment", Shockwave quickly added as he approached you with his servo. One digit gently trailed up and down your arm in a comforting manner. "You may still continue creating it. I am not stopping you." Him using a gentler, lower tone made you smile again. You wrapped your arms around his digit and lightly cuddled into it, saying a small "Thanks" in return.

You swore your Conjunx's optic was glowing brighter than usual.

You managed to craft a rather big plush version of Shockwave. You were able to wrap both of your arms around it and cuddle with it like a big stuffed animal. It was still severely small in the scientist's optic, but he refused to handle it any less gentle than you when picking it up. It was so much softer than you, which amazed him.

A few days after you finished up the plushie, Shockwave asked you to wait for him in his habsuite.

Turns out he wanted you to touch his spark again. It's been a long time since you've last done so, which was when you became Conjunx Endura just a couple of months ago. And due to the bond mostly being a one-sided receiving one, he wanted to show you how much he appreciated you in his life. And touching his spark was the only way for you to receive his side of the bond.

You're the only one he's ever shown his spark to in such an intimate light. And you could feel how much he adored having you be this close to him, touching the very culmination of his being ever so gently. You even gave his spark some light kisses, making him ex-vent.

Content with your moment together, he gently positioned his servo against your small back, pulling you a little closer down onto his chassis.

He wouldn't trade you for anything, not even his loyalty to Megatron and the Decepticon cause.

[ Masterlist ]

#transformers prime #tfp x reader #shockwave x reader #cybertronian x human #transformers x reader #transformers x human #tfp shockwave #tfp shockwave x reader #comfort

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literaryavenger · 6 months

Text

Broken - part 2

Summary: You reach your breaking point and confront the team.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Hints to eating disorder. Language. Tony being an insensitive ass. Reader being very dramatic. A lot of yelling. Talk about Bucky's past and Tony's parent's murder. Innocent and broken Bucky. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.6K

Part 1

A/N: reader is absolutely dramatic in this and I love it. I can't say enough that this is my first work (second chapter, but still), I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm trying. Also English is not my first language so pardon me for mistakes, I'm really trying not to be too repetitive in my writing and expand my vocabulary and just generally do better. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

After a morning of hanging out with Cassie and Scott, Cassie’s mom, Maggie, came to pick her up.

You chatted for a few minutes while Scott and Cassie gathered her stuff and, after you said your goodbye, they took off.

"Thanks for inviting me to hang out with you guys, Cassie’s such an amazing kid." you say to Scott with a smile while you get in the elevator to the communal floor for lunch with the whole team.

"No need to thank me. Cassie loves you so much, you’re always welcome to join us." He says back as the elevator dings and you get off.

You smile at him and look around to see most of the team already at the table wrapped up in their own conversations.

You don’t have “assigned” seats, but Tony sits at the head of the table on the only side that has only one seat, while the other side has two.

It’s very important for Tony to have this seat as he thinks of himself as the head of your family, even if he doesn’t want to be the team leader.

The rest of you gather around him, usually next to the same people that you enjoy having conversations with.

Today Vision was sitting on Tony’s left side with Wanda next to him, then Pietro, whose other side was empty so Scott sat there.

On Tony’s right was Peter, then Nat and Clint, you sat on the far end leaving a seat empty between you and Clint on your left, and the two seats on the head of the table on your right, also empty, with Scott in front of you.

There are gonna be a few empty seats because Thor, Loki and Bruce were currently in New Asgard.

After a few minutes of conversation with Scott, which mostly consists on trying to come up with your next prank, Sam, Steve and Bucky join you, Sam sitting between you and Clint, Steve on your right at the head of the table with Bucky between Steve and Scott.

You notice Bucky briefly looking at Tony on the other end of the table before bowing his head and staring at the table without saying anything, while Tony stares daggers at Bucky, stopping as soon as he sees you looking.

You think it's weird, but then again you know Tony and Bucky had problems so you let it go.

"Hi, baby." Sam says to you when he sits down, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Sammy." you say chuckling "how you doing?"

"Very good now." he says, putting his arm around you and making you laugh again. "Where have you been all day, I’ve missed you baby."

"I’ve been staying as far away from you as I could, baby." you say jokingly, to which he makes a pretend hurt face with a big gasp that makes both you and Steve laugh. "I was hanging out with my girls."

"But Nat was training and Wanda was hanging out with Vision." Steve points out, a little confused.

"Yeah, she means Tic tac and his daughter." Sam explains while you, him and Scott laugh.

Steve then join in on your laughter and you keep joking until Wanda uses her powers to put the plates full of food on the table, with some help from Vision.

As the lunch went on you all kind of talk to everybody, joking about stupid things mostly you and Scott have done lately.

You notice Bucky is quietly eating, not joining in in any conversations and keeping his eyes on his food.

Nobody is trying to talk to him either and you're about to when you feel Steve nudging you on the arm with his elbow.

you look at him and see him look from you to your plate a couple times.

You give him a small smile and a nod and you eat a couple of bites of your food before he lets himself concentrate on the conversation once more, but not before exchanging a bit of a worried and knowing look with Wanda, which you chose to ignore because you don't want to have that conversation right now.

You bring your attention back to Bucky "So, Bucky, what did you and Cap do after I left this morning?"

As soon as you ask the question the whole table goes quiet. You look around the room and everyone is looking weirdly from you to Steve to Bucky, which confuses you a lot.

You looked back at Bucky, who is about to answer but, after giving Tony a quick glance, he shuts his mouth, deciding against it.

You look at Tony who is giving Bucky a look that if it could kill, it definitely would.

At this point you're pretty fed up with this unspoken tension and, since nobody is saying anything, you decide to address the issue yourself.

"Okay, enough is enough." you say, getting everybody’s attention on you but keeping yours on Tony and Bucky "Will somebody explain to me what the fuck is going on?"

"Language!"

"Stick a sock in it, Rogers. I’m sick of this. I’ve been patient for three fucking months. I’m done with this. You have been treating me with child gloves and it ends now. First you all just disappear for a mission leaving only me behind, then half of you come back and nobody tells me anything about everyone else and when the rest of the team came back, all of you started acting like nothing even happened, barely acknowledging Steve’s absence unless I asked, and even then you just danced around my questions. Now he’s back with someone new and not only are you all still acting like nothing happened, but all of you are being extremely rude and deliberately ignoring the poor guy!"

You point at Bucky, who turns red at the attention and looks uncomfortable, but you go on. "AND Tony hasn’t stopped looking at him like he wants to murder him where he stands! Now, somebody tell me what the fuck happened then and what has been happening for the last three months."

you look at Tony who looks like he was about to explode, but doesn't say anything.

Bucky looks uncomfortable and like he's trying very hard not to look at you.

Steve looks at you with an apologetic face and you know he's not about to tell you anything.

You look around at everyone else and they all look either shocked at your little outburst or guilty because they know you're right.

Most of them avoid your gaze and the ones that are looking at you are silently asking you to let it go.

After a few minutes of no one saying anything, you lose the last chill you had.

"FINE!" you yell, getting up and slamming your hand on the table, startling almost everybody after the uncomfortable silence you’d been sitting in.

"If you’re gonna insist on treating me like a fucking child, keeping me out of these serious business, trusting a literal child more than me," you said pointing at Peter "then maybe I should start behaving like one. Or no, you know what, better yet, since none of you trust me anyway, I should just quit this fucking team and move out!"

Without giving anyone the chance to answer you storm off towards the stairs, going straight to the smallest training room to try and calm down a little, since it’s the one no one ever uses and no one’s gonna think of looking for you there.

You get on the treadmill and started running, not stopping until you see the light from outside dim and the gym lights turn on.

You turn the machine off and as soon as you stop you feel so dizzy that you almost fall over and have to hold on to the handles of the treadmill just to keep your balance.

After a few minutes you catch your breath, then stumble towards the punching bag and start throwing punches as hard as you can, still so angry that you don't even think about wrapping your hands.

After about half an hour of angry punching your knuckles are bleeding, but you only stop when your head starts spinning and you slip on the floor out of breath while you start seeing black spots.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and when you look up you see Bucky with a very worried look on his face.

He's saying something to you but his voice is so distant you could barely hear him. You look at him confused for a second before feeling yourself slipping away and then everything goes black.

You wake up to confused yelling and your head pounding, and it takes you a second to even realize where you are. You try to sit up but have an IV on your arm that stops you.

You look around the room confused, finding the source of all the noise: Tony is very intently yelling at Bucky who's just looking at his feet, his face covered by his long hair, while Steve is trying very hard to keep Tony away from Bucky while also yelling at him to calm down.

"Let go of me Rogers, it’s HIS fault she’s here!" Tony yells "and it’s your fault he’s here in the first place!"

"Tony, you don’t know what happened, you can’t just accuse Bucky everytime something happens!" Steve yells back, struggling to keep him away from Bucky.

"LOOK AT THEM! THEY’RE BOTH COVERED IN BLOOD AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SEE HER ALL AFTERNOON, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?!" At this point you're sick of the screaming and especially of the random accusations against Bucky.

"Can you stop yelling for fuck’s sakes?" you say, even if it comes out lower and weaker than you’d like.

The three men all look at you, a little surprised and worried sick.

"Y/N! Are you ok? What did he do to you?" Tony says, getting angrier with every word, while you're just confused by his accusations.

"What are you talking about, Tony? Nobody did anything to me, I just passed out."

"You don’t have to cover for that murderer, just tell me what really happened!" murderer? What is he talking about?

You can tell he was trying not to yell too much at you since you're not the object of his anger, but his insults and his insinuating that you're lying are making you angry, a feeling that just grows when you see all the guilt and hurt in Bucky’s face at his words, which just breaks your heart.

"You want to know what happened, Stark?" you're the one yelling now "You, the whole team, pissed me off so much that I spent several hours running and hitting a punching bag so hard that I bled and then passed out from exhaustion and probably dehydration. And stop yelling at Bucky, if it wasn’t for him finding me and bringing me here I could’ve died in that gym, so you should be fucking thanking him!" you yell the last part so loudly that you think that's gonna be the end of that, but Tony has more to say.

"THANK HIM?!" he yells, his eyes open wide, almost in shock. "YOU THINK I SHOULD THANK THE MAN THAT MURDERED MY PARENTS?!" He yells so loudly that you're surprised he still had a voice to keep going.

But he did, a little quieter after seeing the shocked look on your face. "You have no idea who he is! Who he truly is… I know you love hearing stories about Steve and him in the 40s, but that’s not who he is now. It’s not who he’s been for the last 70 years!"

You're hanging on his every word, looking at Bucky’s general direction every now and then, scared to meet his eyes and have everything Tony was saying confirmed.

But that wasn’t a problem, since Bucky's back at looking at his feet, like a kid being yelled at by a parent for doing something wrong.

"He’s been under Hydra’s control all this time! He’s been taught how to be invisible, how to disappear and most importantly how to kill, in every way possible. He’s been killing people for decades, living as a ghost story, unstoppable and unbeatable. Three months ago Steve found him and set out to help him, and when half of us didn’t agree with him, we battled against each other. The half of the team that came back later had to spend some time on the Raft while we worked on their release. For Barnes it took longer, and Steve refused to leave his side. They were lucky enough to get them to release this monster, and if it was for me it never would’ve happened. So do not tell me to thank a murderer, a monster that broke my family in 1991 and almost broke it again a few months ago!"

You're shocked.

Not just because of Bucky’s past, but because of what happened three months ago.

Because of what everybody kept from you.

You feel absolutely betrayed by everybody. Everybody except Bucky, funnily enough. You're barely listening to what is being said.

You hear Steve’s "He was being mind controlled" and Tony’s "That’s all an excuse" but your attention is elsewhere.

You're looking at Bucky who is visibly trembling and, when he looks up at Steve for a few seconds because of something he says in his defense, you see his face clearly and it's wet with tears.

It absolutely breaks your heart and you make eye contact for a second before he quickly bows his head again and slowly backs away from the room, almost scared.

The two yelling men don’t even seem to notice the loss of a fourth person in the room and keep on yelling until they just keep repeating the same things, and you're done.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" you yell at the top of your lungs, leaving them instantly silent.

"I don’t care who you think he is. The man you seem to hate so much is absolutely nothing like the man that walked into the tower this morning. The man that’s been so scared to even just talk, that he keeps his head down and doesn’t make a sound unless spoken to. The man that saved my life today. The man that ran out of here is absolutely broken, and it’s 100% your fault!" you end, looking straight into Tony’s eyes.

"Y/N, Bucky’s-" Tony started, but you cut him off.

"Bucky is the only one in this tower to not have lied to me. All of you kept me in the dark on this." You're now looking at Steve. "You’re no better, Rogers. Half of the team, half of my family was in, not just any prison, but the fucking Raft, and none of you told me. Why? Why just me?" you almost whisper the question you’ve been wanting to ask for the last three months, tears flooding your eyes.

"We didn’t want to put that on you..." Steve says.

"We knew how hard it would’ve been for you to choose a side…" Tony adds.

"BULLSHIT!" you yell, startling them. "Do not give me this 'we did this for you' bullshit. You did this for yourselves, because neither of you wanted to see me choose the other one. But you know what? I don’t want to choose either of you. Now you both lost me. So I hope you’re happy, because you brought this on yourselves for lying to me for so long. I’m done!"

You get up, tears streaming down my cheeks, take the IV out of your arm and walk right out of the room while the two men watch you leave, too stunned to say anything.

Part 3

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x you #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #avengers x reader #avengers x platonic reader #avengers x platonic!reader #tony stark #steve rogers

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barleyo · 11 months

Text

Hey there, tiger.

Recom! Miles Quaritch X Fem! Reader (smut)

A/N: Hope you enjoy this (RUSHED) little drabble, there’s plenty more where it came from. My inbox is ALWAYS open, so don’t be shy to share any ideas or make and requests! Enjoy!

Wordcount: 1.6K

Tags: p in v, oral (m receiving), SLIGHT dacryphilia, reader taking sneaky pictures of the Colonel, stalker behavior, one sided pining, degrading, public sex, humiliation, workplace sex, reader being a creep (she's just like me tho)

It wasn’t supposed to be weird or creepy in the least bit. At first, it was completely professional, practically part of (Y/N)’s job description, and she did not do it often in the beginning. Once, maybe twice a week.

It was so innocent: quietly following the colonel around base, not too close, a few feet to divide themselves. Scribbling down observations she made about him, about how oddly cat-like he was, how all Na’vi were. Naturally, she had to get closer and observe more often to get all the details. If she did not do that, how would she have found out about the colonel’s feline tic of gliding his tongue over his teeth when he was angry? Or how his kitten-like nose crinkled in disgust at his team’s frequent immaturity, or how his tail thumped the ground when he was waiting for something?

Or how far down his deep, azure stripes went down on his body? Well, she did not know that one yet.

(Y/N) tried to convince herself that it was her job, no, her obligation as a biologist on Pandora to study all life: plants, animals, the natives.

The Recombinants.

Colonel Miles Quaritch.

Besides, the research was helpful to her team, surely it must have been okay if the ends had justified the means. Reading Na’vi body language was crucial to communication with the natives, and the recoms could provide just that with their newly acquired bodies and movements.

So what if she peeked around corners to catch a glimpse of his toned back as he walked away, or if she ‘accidently’ bumped into him in the hallway to feel his hand on her own as he helped her to her feet?

“Watch it now,” he had said, hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder to settle himself, “be more careful, a tiny thing like you might get crushed next time.”

She was just doing her job. Hell, she could sell it as Na’vi-human social studies to herself, anything to rationalize her hobby. Anything to be near him.

Noting these interactions and conclusions was well and fine, but a thought had occurred to her when she reached the halfway mark in her journal that focused on all things Miles Quaritch. A girl can only describe so much with words, and some pictures to accompany her entries would do nicely.

There he was, long legs spread as he sat on a bench in the gym, thick, blue arm flexing as he lifted a weight. The gym was completely empty, just Quaritch, (Y/N), and her polaroid camera that was ready to snap a few pictures and leave with her.

She silently opened the door and tucked her journal under her arm, ready to glue the pictures in as soon as her camera spit them out. She sat on her knees: being low to the ground made it easier for her to get a clear picture. Peering her head through the cracked entrance, she held her camera up, focused it, and clicked.

She could have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for the colonel’s impeccable hearing capabilities. The second the shutter of her camera clicked, his guard rose. (Y/N) had not registered that he caught her until the screen of her camera showed a pair of black, heavy boots, tightly laced and dusty.

“Can I ask what the fuck you think your doin’, miss?” Quaritch snatched the camera from her hands, pulling out the small polaroid that it dispensed.

“No– sir, I promise, this isn’t what it looks like,” she said, scrambling to back out into the hallway. “I wasn’t–”

“You weren’t snapping pictures of me?” He shook the picture, exposing the image of himself it had burned onto the film. He grabbed the camera from her hands too, placing it on a nearby bench.

“Ah–”

“What’s this then?” He shoved the picture into her chest, hand gripping her shoulder to keep her from running. His face looked all but impressed, but his tone was teasing.

Her face grew immensely hot, she tried to turn her head away from him to hide it, but his finger fell under her chin and forced it up.

“Look at me when I talk to you,” he said, tongue running over his sharp teeth. That was the first time she had seen it up close, seen him up close. It scared her, but the excitement he caused her far surpassed that feeling. “Answer me, won’t ask you again.”

“It’s a picture of you. I’m so sorry,” she blinked away tears forming at her lash line.

“No, ‘m not sure you are sorry.” He pulled her into the gym and pushed her back against the frosted window. “Matter of fact, I’ll bet I’ll catch you doing this again if I don’t teach you any better. I’ll bet this isn’t your first time sneaking pictures of me either, sweetness.”

“No, it’s my first. This is the only time I’ve tried.” (Y/N)’s eyes glossed over, looking too soft and sad for Quaritch to resist any longer.

“Really? Guess I should go easy on you then, huh?” A dark smirk covered his face.

Unzipping his pants, he pulled his cock out and gave it a few lazy strokes before forcing her to her knees and rubbing it over her face. Clear globs of precum got smeared over her face. Quaritch laughed as she tried to catch his cock with her tongue, letting it dart out of her mouth when it swiped past her lips.

(Y/N) felt a whine constrict in her throat when he finally pushed past her lips and into her mouth. His big hands held the back of her head and held her still while he moved his hips. She moved her tongue over the underside of his dick, licking it as much as she could while he thrusted slowly in and out of her wet mouth.

She pushed her hands into her pants and rubbed her clit messily while Quaritch used her mouth. Her moans vibrated on his length, his control slowly slipped away with each noise. He let his pace loosen and let himself explore further into her mouth.

“I know you wanted me to catch you. You wanted me to catch you n’ punish you for creeping around,” he said through gritted teeth as he pushed further down her throat. Her throat clenched around his cock every time she gagged or choked, sending sharp pleasure through his body.

“Fuck,” he sighed. He pulled out and a string of spit connected (Y/N) to the tip of his cock. Miles took her camera and clicked.

(Y/N)’s voice was croaky as she spoke, “What’re you doing?”

“Just leveling the playing field,” he said, smearing her spit all over her face. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up, flipping her body around on the glass. “Gotta have a pic of my own, baby, that’s just fair.”

Pulling her pants and panties down to her ankles, Miles teased his tip at her entrance, slipping it in with shallow thrusts.

“Please, I need the whole thing…”

He grunted and pushed the rest in, stretching out her walls. She bit down a whine when she felt his girth split her open, leaning against the window for stability. He was ruthless with his pace now, he was far too close to his own release to take it slowly, instead choosing to pull her hips back and slam into them harshly. Slick squelches and skin slapping echoes in the empty room.

“Wanna know something?” he purred into (Y/N)’s ear, deepening his thrusts when he paralleled his back to hers to lean to her ear.

She didn’t respond, too lost in the feeling of him burrowing balls deep into her heat, too dizzy with ecstasy to focus on his words.

“I knew what you were doing.”

“Wha– what d’you mean?” she moaned.

“Don’t act dumb now, you think I didn’t hear you followin’ me around like a lost dog?”

“I–”

“You think I couldn’t smell you? I could, the whole time. Took everythin’ in me to not bend you over like this earlier.”

(Y/N)’s walls fluttered and clamped at his words, feeling them rush straight to her cunt like they were injected into her veins. “You knew?”

“Sure did,” his rhythm became messy and rougher, abusing every spot in her. “Smelled how wet you were for me in the hallways, mess hall, everywhere. Dirty little thing, always wantin’ me.”

She threw her head back and let a string of profanities fall from her mouth. Her cunt gushed hot, clear cum, dripping down her lips and thighs and coating Quaritch’s dick.

“Christ…”

He pulled out and pumped his length, giving rough tugs until he came thick ropes on (Y/N)’s slick pussy. He stuffed his fingers into her after scooping some of his cum up with them, and snapped a final picture.

“You’re so fuckin’ soaked, it’s crazy,” he laughed, tucking himself back into his pants and adjusting (Y/N) as well.

She was silent for a second before opening her mouth.

“You aren’t mad at me, are you? For following you around?”

“Oh, ‘course not,” he wrapped an arm around her waist. “You aren’t the only one who’s been busy. I’ve done a little hunting of my own too.” Using his other hand, he pulled out a stack of pictures from his back pocket.

Her eyes widened at one.

The picture showed her with her hands in her pants. She was sitting on her bunk, and the picture was dark. It must have been taken at night.

“Where did you get this?”

“Like I said,” his grip on her waist tightened, “you aren’t the only one who’s been busy.”

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