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phoenixyfriend · 4 years

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The Naruto/Frozen Crossover

So I was planning on just doing an image ID thing for this post, but apparently the formatting on desktop is such a mess that it’s easier to just make a new post that’s text only. I can also like. Bulletpoint it so that it can be a little neater. All ideas were made with @firebirdeternal‘s help, because they are the most efficient enabler I have.

Also I added some bits at the end.

Under a cut, because it’s Long As Heck.

I originally had two options: either Mid-teens Elsa and Anna being transported to ninja land sometime pre-canon and running into Haku and Zabuza... or just like. Born as a Daimyou's daughters.

Spoiler alert, we’ve got nukenin and I’m a sucker for an intrusive crossover, so transported to ninja land it is.

Suggestion from Birdie:

Mechanism for crossover: Elsa ices over a Wishing Well by accident after having Wished for someone else who understood her, Anna and her fall in and get Ice Mirror Portaled to Ninjaland, falling out of an iced over pond near a shrine that Haku recently prayed at for similar lonely child reasons?

Which I like! They don’t end up there soon enough to run into Haku, because I want a dramatic chase first, but I like it.

Obviously, Anna is forced to learn about Elsa's powers because it's the only thing keeping them safe

Or at least alive

(Elsa will do ANYTHING to keep Anna safe, and if that means she has to get her hands dirty...)

...neither of them knows Japanese, so, you know. There’s that.

I'm thinking that they end up in/near Kiri at first

And they aren't FAST ENOUGH to get away so Elsa panic-enchants a giant reindeer made of snow to run away across the suddenly-frozen ocean.

She and Anna have to ride and Elsa is probably crying the whole time.

Oh shit this is like. RIGHT after their parents die, I forgot. So that’s a thing! They are in mourning and all that fun stuff.

Point is, they use the powers for a Self Defense thing and BBY Haku is just !!! "Master can we rescue them for Ice Cousin reasons?" Zabuza: Yes, and only for those practical reasons and not because I collect endangered children like people collect pokemon cards.

I imagine that maybe they track rumors of a Yuki-onna down, or the Giant Snow Reindeer rides by and Haku’s just like Wat

The girls just tag along with Zabuza because. Like.

Do they like him? No. Do they trust him? No. Do they enjoy the fact that he considers them pathetic civilians? No.

However, Haku is Baby.

Zabuza is REALLY annoyed at them being Useless Civilian Royals “but Haku likes them so I guess they can stay.”

Age at meeting, three years pre-canon:

Zabuza - 23

Elsa - 18

Anna - 15

Haku - 12

Elsa is 90% anxiety/depression master combo BUT if Zabzua protects her then she's WILDLY dangerous so like. Whatever

Elsa's bingo book nickname options, uninspired:

Winter Witch

Winter Queen

Ice Queen

Snow Queen

Something about a Yuki-Onna maybe

She's Very Stately and kinda breakable but Winter is her Bitch

I mean like, the fact that, if protected, she can shut down the agriculture of a fucking country? That's an S-rank even if she's not that useful in a fight.

She's like. Jinchuuriki-level destruction. Generally speaking she wouldn’t. But she could.

Elsa: What the fuck is a chakra? Elsa: my snow monsters are self-sustaining. Elsa: I'm gonna build us a house.

Zabuza has NO idea how her powers work and it is INCREDIBLY frustrating but “there’s no chakra cost to keep these things going and we have shelters on demand” is too convenient to question after a while.

Haku: Delicate, deadly, incredibly fast ninja work. Elsa: I can't dodge a kunai but watch me wreck your entire country's ecosystem in under a day.

Elsa is a siege weapon.

Meanwhile, Anna is really, really into the physicality of ninja practice.

She's clumsy and she's not very good at ninja stuff, but she sure is determined!

Anna also gets on Zabuza's nerves because she keeps insisting that Haku get to be a kid.

Anna: Let's make flower crowns! Zabuza: No, he needs to train, not- Anna: FLOWER CROWNS

Consider: Haku saying Elsa-nee-sama and Anna-hime.

Or just calling Elsa “onee-sama.”

Anna is also younger than Elsa and way more Fun so she probably gets adjusted to Anna-chan or Nee-chan.

If Zabuza calls Elsa “Hime-chan” or “Elsa-hime” or, Sage forbid, “Elsa-sama/dono” then he’s VERY MUCH making fun of her and he’s probably getting his soup frozen that night.

At one point, Elsa... tries to like. Convince herself to have a crush on Zabuza or Kakashi or something until Zabuza just puts a hand on her shoulder and asks "do you even like men?" "...that's an OPTION?"

Zabuza urging her to try and ask out a Cute Kunoichi and Elsa's like.... I can't decide if she's bright red and a useless lesbian or uncomfortable and ace.

I am SO invested in the siege weapon thing.

SHE IS THE SQUISHIEST WIZARD.

It's not her fault that every single other combatant on the continent is Massively Dangerous in melee! She took a very traditional back-line build!

Enemy: Doesn't it GRATE to protect someone so pathetic, Zabuza? Zabuza: She literally froze an entire castle of enemies to death because they harmed her sister, so. No.

Most Ninjas: Sharp Knife. S-Rank Mega Ninjas: Gun. Elsa: High Yield Explosive Rocket Launcher. Literally loses fights to the Knife People, because she can't bring her power to bear on that scale. But if you can give her Time and Prep? No contest.

Long distance AoE

Like you know how Nagato is literally dying of starvation due to illness and can't walk, but he's also capable of leveling powerful villages more or less on his own?

Elsa is the same Vibe.

It’s like sealing a bijuu in a civilian.

She's honestly both more and less powerful? Like it'd be hard for her to kill everyone in Konoha in the snap of a finger? But also, she could starve out the Country of Fire in a summer.

She WOULDN'T, but she could.

I always read Elsa as gay or ace but my brain keeps trying to ship her with dude ninjas and I have to yank it back on a child leash.

People insinuate that Zabuza is interested in Elsa and he's just "What? Ew she's like five."

"I'm eighteen."

"Five."

BUT

Elsa! Might mistake trust and companionship for a crush!

I can see THAT happening despite gay/ace.

Also like. I don’t think Zabuza is straight.

So mlm/wlw solidarity?

And Haku is probs genderqueer.

So Anna is THE TOKEN STRAIGHT.

Anna is like, the Straight Friend who will go to the mat for her queer friends. Like vicious. In-your-face barking like a mean dog at people who were being bigots.

You know how Elsa in the second movie uses her powers to make toys for kids out of ice?

Okay, so her practicing by making things with Haku.

But yeah, Elsa can't really do "throws ice senbon," but she can do Delicate Geometry Things since she apparently, canonically studies math for fun and loves fractals.

Haku: I can trap you in a prison of ice mirrors, and you are at my mercy. Elsa: LOOK AT THIS CASTLE I MADE???

Haku wants to do Pretty Things like Elsa

OH.

Elsa makes... snow bunnies..

For the ninja distraction reasons but also because it's a Soft Thing that makes her feel better about, uh, everything. And Haku likes bunnies.

Zabuza still takes The Dirty Missions but Elsa gets upset when he does something that hurts innocents and Nobody wants Elsa upset. Even Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset.

When Elsa gets upset, overnight accommodations are suddenly Very Uncomfortable for everyone except her and Haku.

And then Anna gets upset, which makes Elsa even MORE upset.

And then things just keep getting colder.

Zabuza doesn't want Elsa upset for many reasons, not limited to: "Is actually capable of killing me from outside of Sword Range if she's mad enough, even if it’s not that easy" and "the Small Children would be unbearably sad if she died and honestly so might I."

She's more of a friend than a ward and he's not entirely sure he's okay with that.

Zabuza: "Ew, friendship."

He has absolutely no idea how to have a social interaction with people he isn't Bullying, Raising, or Threatening to Kill.

Elsa and Anna have no trouble convincing people they're related, at least. Different coloration with almost identical bone structure.

A tendency to burst into song when they feel emotions.

Identical weird accent that nobody can place.

FOOD

The girls are royalty, they don't know how to COOK.

But they also want food from HOME.

It's a lot of trial and error.

More error than not, since they have both no knowledge and also a language barrier to overcome. It probably takes YEARS before they can describe things like Unfamiliar Flavors well enough for people to say "OH that sounds like spearmint."

When they run into something they know that’s familiar, it’s life-changing.

Chocolate is more common in the elemental nations than in Arandelle and Anna may or may not cry about it.

Anna is loudly bossy, even at Zabuza.

Zabuza is gruffly commanding, to everyone.

Elsa doesn't actually like being in charge, but when she talks, people LISTEN.

(Haku is just happy to be here.)

Elsa radiates two things: Anxiety, and Natural Command, and she basically just fluctuates between those.

"I don't want to be in charge but also I'm vetoing this."

So, obviously, the main reasons that Zabuza keeps the girls around is that Elsa is a living siege weapon and he thinks she could be convinced to help him run a revolution in Kiri, and also that the Ice Queen schtick is like. Really good for Haku and Zabuza can’t really say no to the kid.

HOWEVER, Anna is clumsy and messy and all that, so Zabuza starts training her in Ninja stuff. Elsa joins in on the “I need to know how to Run Fast to get away from fights I don’t want to have in the first place,” but Anna’s the one that’s like “TEACH ME HOW TO SWORD.”

It’s honestly not that hard to teach her, she’s just really, really, REALLY enthusiastic.

Once or twice someone asks why she’s so bad at this yet running around with an A-rank nukenin and Zabuza’s just like “I’ve only had her for a year and a half, shut up!” because it’s not that he’s a bad teacher, it’s that she was a very pampered civilian until like a week before he met her.

He should get a MEDAL for even getting her to low Chuunin.

Zabuza: I'm taking a job from Gato Elsa, who has Training in economics and politics and bureaucracy: I have a better idea.

This is actually not entirely what I’d do but I wanted to make the joke first ANYWAY here’s an actual plot or something.

Oh, also by this point everyone is Canon Ages so Elsa’s 21 and Anna’s 18 and Zabuza’s 26 and Haku’s 15.

Elsa is getting paid to keep the water from interfering with construction, by way of....

ICE COFFERDAM

Elsa with Haku as her Guard while Zabuza is off running his own mission? Which Anna begged to go on because Cool.

Elsa also kind of keeps her involvement on the ice front semi-secret by claiming she’s there as an engineering consultant.

LISTEN canon made her like geometry, I can ENTIRELY believe she’d be excited about the bridge-building.

Gato has hired someone else on the danger level of Zabuza, who is Threatening to Team 7 + Haku? But then when things look bleak Anna and Zabuza arrive and then Scary Sword Man is on our side and oh dear that's a lot of blood.

Which, you know, fun!

Birdie suggested Raiga which I’m not feeling but I do feel the need to bring up as an option.

It’s also not Kisame BUT

Kisame: [giant lake dome filled with sharks]

Elsa: uhhhhhhhhhhh...

Giant lake dome: [is now a giant ice dome]

Anyway

Gato: I'm hiring an army. Elsa: [giant ice wall around his compound] Gato: ... these guys can walk up walls! Elsa: [adds snowman guards] Elsa: ... Elsa: [adds a ceiling]

Just puts Gato's entire mob in a fucking snow globe.

Zabuza shows up twenty minutes late with (Throwing) Star(buck)s just like "Oh, they dead? No? Want 'em to be? Okay cool I'm gonna go pick up Haku, I'll be back in like an hour."

Anna would... LOVE Naruto

ENERGETIC FRIENDLY GOOFBALL

"I found us a baby brother!" "No, we already have Haku." "BUT LOOK AT HIM."

Anna is only a year or two older than Itachi.

OH RIGHT

I wanted to make a joke about how Naruto also vibes with her because he's less judgmental that she can't really... talk properly.

Sasuke is Judgy and Kakashi is Paranoid and Sakura is Uncomfortable.

Meanwhile Naruto is just like "And I Shall Scream."

Anna, who learned Japanese from Zabuza (rude) and Haku (uber polite): WELL FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR Naruto: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO, LADY Elsa, overly formal: I am... so very sorry.

Anyway, generic missing nin fights and all that.

Elsa gets injured in the process and after a variety of arguments, Naruto manages to convince them to take her to Konoha for medical attention.

Elsa is... usually the one getting injured.

Zabuza and Haku are FAST and Anna is at least learning (even if she’s only been doing it for three years), but Elsa is The Squishy Wizard.

If someone throws a kunai... she can’t... really dodge...

So yeah, gut wound.

Normally they find a nukenin medic to patch them up but Konoha is reasonably close and has some of the more skilled medics on the continent and they DID technically help the Konoha nin so like. Gah.

That’s Zabuza’s final thought. Gah.

Just “Fuck it, let’s save the ice queen.”

Elsa ends up in a half-literal-ice stasis state on the way there and it’s happened before (it is not the first time she’s been stabbed), but it’s always terrifying.

Especially to the Konoha genin who are just like WHAT THE HECK IS THAT.

So they get to Konoha, there’s a whole bunch of stuff about extradition treaties and “you are bringing a literal WMD of a woman into our town” and “we can’t just let MOMOCHI ZABUZA in.”

Anyway, it ends up being that Zabuza has to wait outside the village while Elsa is treated inside, and one of the Teenagers goes in. Obviously, it’s Anna, because Zabuza is INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE with letting Haku enter a village that’s known for having lots of bloodlines, and anyway, Anna’s the sister.

Bunch of stuff, she’s healing, etc, and then one day Anna comes in and is told “your sister had a bad reaction to the anesthetic, we couldn’t save her, I’m sorry, she’s gone.”

She flips out, gets shown the corpse, flips out MORE, gets escorted out to the village walls where Zabuza and Haku are waiting.

Horrified reactions

Zabuza doesn’t want to admit that it’s EMOTIONS because this is his FRIEND, he is clearly just upset about losing the living siege weapon.

Haku is just super confused and goes “But she’s not dead.”

“What.”

“She’s not dead, I can feel her, I can always feel her, it’s like sensing but just her, because we’re both ice. She’s alive, somewhere over... there?”

And points right in the direction of the Hokage Mountain, which for the purposes of this fic and also Drama is where ROOT headquarters is.

YEP we absolutely have that plot point.

Is Danzo overused as a plot device? Probably. Am I going to diabolus ex machina him anyway? Ye.

They kick up enough of a fuss that the Hokage gets called down.

He wouldn’t, normally, he’d leave it to a couple of skilled jounin and call it a day, except Naruto got involved so like. You can’t. Ignore that.

There’s lots of shouting.

Just like. A lot.

And then part of the mountain explodes!

AS ONE DOES

Elsa comes flying backwards out of the hole, catches herself on a spontaneous ice slide, gets to her feet.

Girl is swaying like MAD.

There are absolutely ANBU (both fake and real) coming after her.

At least one of them gets speared through by an ice spike.

Anna runs up to her, tries to hug her, gets batted away.

Elsa’s staring at her in sheer TERROR and starts muttering something about how Anna died years ago, this isn’t real, etc.

Nobody except Anna understands most of it, but Haku picks up enough to translate when Anna’s freaking out.

Elsa starts doing her Ice Castle thing in the middle of Konoha as a coping mechanism, mostly so she can get Up and Away and Shielded By Ice.

This is not a good look.

Especially because she’s singing, which Zabuza always thinks is a bad omen because it means shit is getting real and one or both of the girls are about to get a powerup or be beaten even harder than otherwise. When they start singing, things get More Dramatic And Extreme).

(Zabuza does not like Disney Musical Rules)

Danzo shows up.

There’s a bunch of arguing.

All the medics insist that nothing she was given at the hospital should have caused amnesia, psychosis, hallucinations, delusions, etc.

It’s. Not hard for Hiruzen to guess what happened.

Namely that Danzo, upon finding out that chakra dampeners didn’t do shit since none of Elsa’s powers come from chakra, decided to keep her drugged up and start using genjutsu to make her more malleable.

Because like. An injured WMD just showed up in your village. What are you supposed to do, not try to kidnap her and turn her to your side? Like, come on. What was he supposed to do?

Not that, Danzo. Literally Not That.

IDK how it gets resolved, probably Anna getting to her with the power of love, because Elsa is ultimately Super Disney.

I also don’t really know where to go from there other than “Maybe Jiraiya can get you home, but also I’m pretty sure Zabuza wants you all to get the hell out of here and take over Kiri” but who knows.

Also

IMAGINE ELSA MEETING GAI.

Imagine Ino getting a puppy crush on Elsa.

IDK that’s it for now.

#Frozen #Naruto #Momochi Zabuza #Yuki Haku #Zabuza #Haku #mini fic #Phoenix Babbles #Crossovers #Phoenix Posts

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pluviophile-imagines · 3 years

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Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

#ask.🌧#anon #pattering on the roof #char.🌧 multi #again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb #thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit #it does impact the way i write these chars #obviously #bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol

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ichayalovesyou · 3 years

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Why Does God Need A Starship? (Live Reaction):

I always thought Sybok was cool and interesting and NOW I’m sure! You know it’s times like these that I’m grateful I kinda came back into the Star Trek fandom on my own, because I don’t have to deal with Opinions of older/louder Trekkies. This one kinda has a lukewarm reputation but I’m getting the vibe that I’ll genuinely enjoy it.

Yet again Bones is serving up some LOOKS damn! Look at these elder gays! Spock has rocket boots, amazing. “Because it’s there” and then falling off the goddamn mountain is such a James Tiberius Kirk thing to do 😂 “HI BONES!” These guys omfg. OH MY GOD SO WE DO SEE CAITIANS OUTSIDE THE CARTOONS?? Hell yeah! Also pole dancing to no music, is... weird. Lmao. Also okay I’m sorry Sybok is cool! Sybok is cool and interesting and I really like him! (Not morally obviously dude is shady as all fuck, but a cool dude nontheless!) Always fascinated by Cult Leader type villains, especially when they point out valid criticisms about the society from which they came (important distinction is that the CAUSE is not vilified, but the person and their means, something M****l has largely forgotten)

Awww I may ship Hikura, but Uhura & Scotty are also cute as hell!! Awwwwwww!!!! Old married couples can be so freaking cute. Chekov & Sulu are LOST ohhhh my god this is hilarious, these two idiots. Also can we talk about how Koenig’s eyebrows are slowly gaining sentience and Takei aged like fine wine? Lol. THE HOLY TRINITY OF ELDER GAYS ARE CAMPINGGGG! I’m- oh my god they’re so cute. “Marshmelon” this is cute as hell oh my god. They’re indulging and messing with Spock at the same time I’m dead! They’re singing ohh my god this gonna give me cavities with how sweet it is!!!

This Klingon dude is frickin ROCKING the eyeliner! Bruhhhh was the frickin spotlight necessary! Leave the gays alone SHHHH they’re SLEEPING!! Lmao. Yo I’ll be real this movie starts incredibly slowly but I seriously do not mind, it’s relaxing to not have to worry about missing important details if you look away for a second, it’s nice. WAIT? Does Jim’s shirt say GOT MILK?!!? Oh no, it says go climb a rock, oh thank god [“fatty milkers” flashbacks]

Seriously McCoy is just radiating so much old southern lady/gay energy in this movie and I love it so freaking much “if you ask me (and you haven’t) this is a horrible idea” he sounds like my North Carolina living Meemaw. Wow you can see Spock low-key taking psychic damage from seeing Sybok 😲 V’tosh Ka’tur of the highest order huh? Still disturbing that his government literally cast him out, that’s a red flag 😬. What happened with Sybok is probably a lot of why Spock was pressured to be as Vulcan as he was, I’m sure Sybok was a massive scandal/shame for Sarek, and knowing him, he’d end up making that his kids’ problem not his 🙄

Oh neat!! Chekov is in the in the captain’s chair. Oh this is the song they replaced Nichols’s voice for 😤 but also GIRL THAT WAS BADASS AND THAT SONG WAS A BOP! Quick question, wow these “alien” horses are somehow even worse than the unicorn dog (also it’s a desert planet, wouldn’t it be better to have, like, alien camels or something?) This dude’s Klingon is freakin impeccable btw! He’s really got the vibe down! Jim did you forget how fuckin bananas strong Vulcans are??? Sybok went like 😡☹️ when Spock pointed that laser rifle at him 😂😂😂 again even tho I know Scotty and Uhura are married but it’s scenes like getting held hostage right there where they radiate such POWER COUPLE energy GAWD! 🤩

Stay out of this Bones we’re having a lover’s quarrel! Jim is taking fucking psychic damage from this entire conversation lol. Okayyyy whatever Sybok is doing is definitely some kind of mind control type thing, that shit is creepy af no thank youuuuuu (spores anyone?). Oh my god Spock & Jim are so married lmao, that “I’m sorry” Vulcan kiss in the brig man Aw. (Oh man Magic’s of mega-tsu got devani mixed by that comment lame!) SCOTTYYYYYY!! YAS!

Yay rocket boot glomp! Lmfao! Sybok needs to brush up on his earth history Columbus did NOT figure out the world is round 🙄 Ah Scotty being like “listen, you’re not okay rn so I’m not really down for whatever you think you wanna do right now it can wait until you’re right in the head again” and they could’ve not done that and it would’ve been creepy (especially by today’s standards) but they didn’t! And that was awesome!

Bones being skeptical and has every right to be! He’s faced down would be gods and would-be messiahs before! Also I’ve seen people judge Bones for being the first to cave but Sybok totally did that shit to him without consent! He didn’t go back on his beliefs, Sybok forced him to! BONES PROTECTION SQUAD IS HERE AND ITS ME! Oh Bones, man, poor babeyyyy (fuck Sybok!) 😭😭😭 OH MY GOD BONESSSSSS Sybok leave him alone! Goddamnit! Leave him alone!

I think Jim can see Spock’s Sybok induced vision cuz they’re ✨Bonded✨ (it didn’t seem like they could see Bones’s, other than what Bones was doing). JIM KNOWS SO MUCH BETTER! ITS HOW HE BEAT THE SPORES ITS HIS CORE! I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE HIM FOR IT!!! Spock 😍😍😍 he’s like, you’re bullshit happiness pill doesn’t work on me cuz I am whole for the first time in my life, and I love my husband, and I already learned my lesson decades ago 💚🖖🏻💚 (who knew how important the character development from This Side of Paradise AND Return To Tommorow would be??? Hell yeah!)

I love Scotty so much 🥰 hardcore badass Hufflepuff from beginning to end! Also I hope Sybok appears in SNW that could be really really interesting if they do it right! ITS GOD (derogatory) REVERE HIM! Oh here comes that legendary question!! “What dies God need with a starship?” Red flag don’t call Jim a creature! Oh shit god has laxer eyes oh no lmao! Bones snaps out of whatever Sybok did to him when “God” hurts his friends and we LOVE HIM FOR ITTTT! Awww Spock & Sybok and be saaaaad, oh shit! Into the lightning to fight a mirror of yourself like Lazarus in that one episode!

OH SHIT THE KLINGONS ARE HERE! Oh damn Spock just swore a cuss the right way, at a Klingon General no less! General dude just went “caotain tell Kirk you are sorry!” LMAO! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS 😂😂😂😍 KISS DAMNIT!! God this whole after scene is so good, maybe the god is the friends we made along the way. “I lost a brother once” you also lost SAM dummy, I know you were just telling Spock you love him but still. SHUT UP SPOCK IS PLAYING ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT ON HIS LYRE??

Okay, seriously, I unironically love this movie, it might be my favorite out of the ones I’ve seen so far actually. TMP felt like the movies getting their sea legs, but it was slow and messy, it wasn’t as thought provoking as it wanted to be (aside from Spock’s wonderful arc in that film). WoK & TSFS are amazing for drama and angst and Spirk content, but they weren’t really asking the big questions Star Trek is wonderful for. Then The Voyage Home is just plain silly and fun and wholesome. But this, this movie had depth! The whole premise is “what is god and is there is one?” I LOVE that as someone who has a very complicated relationship with spirituality. I also already loved the TOS episodes This Side of Paradise, Return To Tomorrow, The Omega Glory and The Way To Eden, and this movie had the best of those concepts! Sybok was such a fascinating antagonist/anti-hero and I hope we get to see him explored more on screen one day, even if it’s just through Discovery/SNW flashbacks. It may have started off slow and it’s not without its flaws but this felt like the Star Trekkiest TOS Star Trek movie so far!

#star trek #star trek v: the final frontier #the final frontier #why does god need a starship #star trek tos #tos liveblog #liveblogging #Sybok

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hobiscloset · 3 years

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youtube

N - You guys haven't seen this yet. Let's discuss. E - this song is giving me Filter vibes. and A described those vibes as Cheeta Girls 2. so this just sounds like the Cheeta Girls to me N - that would be the Spanish influence.

Taehyung E - spiritual auntie in every sitcom A - about to convince my niece and brother in law that crystals will fix all of their problems. E - White woman who is into Native American art A - precisely, still thinks smudging is an okay thing for her to do E - has like three whole tarot decks

Jungkook A - an immortal who wants to drink their life away about to be dragged into the plot E - why cant he be left in peace with his paintings in his mansion? A - hoards jewelry and has been wearing this top for forty years E - im also getting "fucked oscar wilde " A - 100%. literally no question

Jimin E - coming in with a soft femme lesbian A - will offer you cut fruit at a picnic E - smells like flowers year round and has never owned perfume A - you have never seen them in a colour darker than dove grey

Namjoon A - while I am aware that this is a fully grown man, it's also a 12 year old boy wearing a hoodie under his school vest for the talent quest. he's probably doing a rap version of tribute E - he heard jack black made an earth quake in austrailia and wants to get his middle school to do it too E - i was gonna say you know in like movies when they try to do like a "the characters are dressing up in an old west theme but in their reality they dont have funds so this is what we got". actually just the episodes of community that were Westerns and about paint ball A - this is also correct

Jin A - I have nothing witty to say about this, he just came to set in his pjs and they put the shiny button up on him to try and throw us off E - the fabolus gay uncle in a telenovela who doesnt show up often but when he does everyone is just happy he's there

Hoseok A - I call this look "the belt doesn't have to match aka you will see his waist god damn it" E - He’s fucking proud of his waist line. He is going to show it off

Jhope part 2 A - dunno who decided suspenders with drawstring pants was the move but it certainly was a bold one. especially when the drawstring is UNDONE E - Choices were made. Wrong ones A - you know when people say "wrong answers only" thats what is happening here

Yoongi A - I wont lie the tasseled breast plate + bolo tie + barely visible forehead ribbon makes me uncomfy. Like its a good look but I do not know if this is the right person to be wearing it. Because these are definitely pieces from major designers and not indigenous artisans, you know E - It makes me do this face [grimmace emoji]

E - We are missing someone... A - we totally are... Narrator - they weren't but the costume changes and editing had them confused for a very long time.

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 3 years

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Godzilla vs. Kong

From the first rumble in the seats in the Dolby theater, I was so glad I chose to see this movie on the big screen. At times it felt like I was on one of those “4-D” roller coasters where the seats rumble and they spray water on your or pipe smells into the audience. That’s how close I was to the action! As at least a casual fan of the previous entries in the Monsterverse, I was looking forward to Godzilla vs Kong and my goodness, those medium expectations sure were met. How medium was it? Well...

I would like the science in this movie to win Best Comedy or Musical in next year’s Golden Globes. This is probably the hardest I’ve laughed in a theater in over a year (obviously there are other reasons for that, but the sentiment still stands). This movie was nonsensical, loud, shiny, dumb fun and I had a great fucking time watching it. Oh, you probably want a plot summary - I’m just gonna refer you to the title of the film. That about covers all you need to know.

Some thoughts:

“Somewhere on Skull Island” - whaaaaat is with this title card? It’s a tiny island. How many possible locations could there possibly be for a giant fuck-off ape to be taking his nap?

I know we’re not here for any semblance of plot but boy, they really sprained something trying to lift these clunky paragraphs of exposition into anything resembling what actual humans would say.

These opening credits are one of the funniest sequences I’ve seen in ages.

My main man Brian Tyree Henry! I had no idea he was in this (frankly I knew virtually nothing about this movie because what do you even need to know about a movie with the title Godzilla vs. Kong). He’s playing a completely different vibe than I’ve ever seen him play - the comedic relief and a mile-a-minute vaguely conspiracy theorist podcast host who is obsessed with Sir Zilla and the other Titans. I really enjoyed seeing this other side of him!

Absolutely terrible waste of Kyle Chandler, who was probably paid more than my yearly salary for 60 seconds of Protective and Frazzled Dad perfection.

One of the highlights of the film is the performance of young actress Kaylee Hottle as Jia. Jia is Deaf, and so is Kaylee in real life, and I’m always here for more Deaf representation onscreen! And her friendship with Kong is one of the few things in the movie that elicits any genuine emotion of any kind. When he booped her I literally said “Aw!” out loud.

The visuals of the hollow Earth are very cool and remind me of those space age desktop backgrounds that most of the guys I know who built their own PCs and spent a lot of time on Tor.com would have had.

Even the most ridiculous films like this one will sometimes include little bits of worldbuilding that are thoughtful and have fascinating implications. For example, the “Titan Shelters” in Hong Kong - who pays for those? The government? Do rich people have reinforced private Titan Shelters while poor folks have to rely on the public ones, which are likely overcrowded and possibly don’t have enough resources? (I think we all know the answer to that).

I am very much enjoying all the neon in the Hong Kong fight, and how much more visually interesting it makes two giant blobs slamming their blob bodies against each other while causing a staggering amount of property damage.

Finally a realistic “I can crack the password!” scene!

Did I Cry? Ok, a teeny tiny bit, about Kong and Jia’s friendship.

Times I laughed LOUDLY in the theater: when Mr. Zilla, who can literally shoot lightning out of his damn mouth just straight up punches Kong in the face. When Kong gets attacked by all those lizard things in the hollow Earth and just uses one motherfucker to slap another motherfucker. When they use an anti-gravity machine (whatever that actually means) as a defibrillator for an ape that is sometimes as big as a skyscraper and other times as big as a mountain.

And now a series of questions:

Why is this high school class just watching the news in the middle of the day? The G-Z has attacked cities at least 3 other times in this universe that we know of. Like, this isn’t their 9/11, this is a thing that just regularly happens.

You decided it was a good idea to transport Kong over the ocean...where Big Daddy G hangs out all the time? Like...that’s where he lives, you guys. You’re basically trying to sneak Kong over the roof of Godzilla’s house and hoping he doesn’t notice.

OH and you had a Kong-sized net and a team of Kong transport helicopters ready the WHOLE TIME? But you still chose “sneaking over Godzilla’s house” as your first plan of action????

How long can Kong hold his breath? He goes underwater for some long ass periods.

In fact, what are the details of Kong’s physiology in general? How tall is he? Because at one point in his fight with The GZA, he’s standing on the floor of the Tasman Sea, no big deal - except the Tasman Sea has a depth of roughly 18,000 feet. And Kong’s just chilling out in the water at waist level? But he’s also shorter than the skyscrapers in Hong Kong? I choose to believe he can grow and shrink at will because that makes more sense than the sloppy joe approach to his biology the screenwriters are using.

I like Millie Bobby Brown as much as the next guy, but does it bother anyone else that she always sounds congested? Is that a consequence of her doing her American accent? It’s incredibly distracting.

Oh, this entire scene is set in Antarctica but no one is wearing hats or gloves? Sure sure sure.

And no one is having any problems breathing the air in the middle of the fucking earth? No one thought to check that the atmosphere was breathable before everyone takes off their helmets? No noxious fumes to worry about in the center of a planet that produces magma and shit?

You’re taking your child to the literal center of the earth? Is this not the ONE TIME you think you might need a babysitter?

The ship that can *checks notes* withstand the forces present during an entire reversal of gravity is crushed by Kong’s fist like it’s a tube of toothpaste?

Even though the Earth is hollow, I’m assuming the distance to reach the core is still about the same, so Godzilla’s lighting can 1) act as a drill to - I cannot reiterate this strongly enough - the CENTER OF THE FUCKING EARTH and 2) Godzilla and Kong can yell at each other for 3,958 miles (give or take) and still hear each other? Do they have superhearing? Is this something we’re studying or are we content to just have them Hulk smash all of that incredibly important evolutionary biology to bits while everyone stands around?

Because this is a “vs” movie, of course there is no clear-cut “winner” at the end. Instead the two parties leave each other with a grudging respect formed, an uneasy truce in place. But I’m obsessed with the way this final scene plays out, as though Godzilla is a bitter ex walking away from Kong after their doomed relationship has run its course. The lighting, the soft music, the absolute melodrama of this giant lizard slinking slowly back into the sea. Godzilla is giving the gays everything they want in 2k21 and I am here for it. Here’s hoping the next entry in the franchise has Kong hooking up with Rodan to make G jealous and they all have a messy public fight over brunch, Real Housewives style.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #godzilla vs kong #godzilla vs kong review #millie bobby brown #brian tyree henry #kyle chandler #rebecca hall #Alexander Skarsgard #kaylee hottle #godzilla #king kong #movie reviews #film reviews

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residentlesbrarian · 3 years

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The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!

Dreadnought by April Daniels

So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist.

I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.

Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.

So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.

Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great!

I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!

Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything.

Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on. They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations.

Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!

Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold. She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”

Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.

So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.

Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.

Links:

Goodreads

Dominc Noble’s Review

Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all.

Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many.

So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

#Dreadnought #april daniels #nemesis book 1 #resident lesbrarian #4 unicorns #mtf transgender lesbian #ya novel #ya science fiction #go to you local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe guys gals and nonbinary pals

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atlasxspeaks · 4 years

Text

✨My train of thought while watching Netflix’s The Old Guard @ 2 AM✨

Everytime I see Charlize Theron is the first time I see Charlize Theron

Why does everyone think immortality is cool?

I’ve lived a measly 19 years and I’m already tired..........

Classic Mad scientist boy wanting to cure all human maladies and get rich and famous while doing it

Planning the logistics to capture 4 IMMORTAL MERCENTARIES is not a job I want

My girl Natacha Karam from 9-1-1: Lone Star getting the Netflix check!!!!

Why is everyone in Nile’s unit upset that she’s ialive?!? Like did y’all want her dead?! - trash the lot of you

They got that Frank Ocean plug for the depressed gen z watchers

If they can heal from gunshots and stab wounds, can they also can heal from dehydration and exposure to elements? If so, why didn’t Nile just walk off into the desert??you’ll hit a village at some point girl and you can’t die. You don’t have to go with Andy.

I’m questioning the logistics of how fate/God/destiny makes some people immortal and some aren’t (3 AM mark)

If I were immortal, I too would get blindingly drunk @ Booker

Techno funk fight scene on a drug smuggling plane is a very specific mood

Being immortal and gay is ✨powerful✨

Joe and Nicky are the older siblings who have their lives together while Booker is the former youngest now middle child who’s depressed

I’m gonna say Andy was a Viking until proven incorrect

THEY CAN DIE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!,!?!?!?

They have all perfected the ‘depressed and/or drunk” sit

Quynh is 😍

Oh they iron coffined her oops

Did I need to see a man’s intestines heal themselves movie? I don’t think I did

Andy is 🥵

Nile is 😘

Calling a heavily armed military man a child is also ✨powerful✨

Joe and Nicky said, “we’re gay and immortal, we have nothing to worry about.”

What is a Rodin? —> I’m not an art hoe

Andy’s not healing????? Peculiar

Booker and Nicky are 🥺

Very nice convient store lady gives Andy some wisdom about charity

“You know I was thinking about Malta.” 🤔

“What time in Malta?” 🧐

“Ohhh that time in Malta.” 😏

Why did Andy taking Nile’s phone have mad teacher vibes

I take back what I said about Booker! these white men always get me with them blue eyes but I should have known!!

Booker’s motivations are slightly troubling. like, my guy?? I know he’s not good but hoping a mad scientist can experiment on you in hopes of getting rid of your immortality is a whole level of not good.

So this whole thing is basically the butterfly affect with semi-immortals???

Joe is ME (yelling at Booker for being a dimbass and being soft for Nicky)

I’m slowly realizing my Viking hypothesis may have been incorrect

None of them have showered in a while. I know they stank

“Youshot Nicky. You shouldn’t have done that.” - I couldn’t agree more ☺️

When was this movie filmed to have “Silence” by Marshmello and Khalid on its soundtrack - I mean it fits but I’m just curious

QUYNH 😱

Overall Thoughts: Um on an arbitrary scale I give it an 7/10 would watch again. Maybe it’s because I’m tired but I don’t think they explained the whole immortality thing well enough for my STEM major standards. But I loved the fight scenes and all the violence so I’ll let it pass. Also we love the LGBTQ+ reprenstation (one couple wasn’t explicitly said to be together but we know 😎).

I knew once they teased there being another immortal trapped underwater somewhere, quynh would show back up, but I honestly thought they would find her, not her show up outta the blue. So if there’s a sequel she’s gonna be evil because it would set up more conflict for Andy to have to face the consequences of her greatest failure.

#my late night movie reviews #the old guard #stream of consciousness #quynh

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jazajas · 4 years

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okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

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loudsuitlover · 4 years

Text

Doctor Harry VI. Cerca del suelo

A/N: DISCLAIMER THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY, I just want to write this here so I can read it when I get writer’s block again. I had forgotten how much I like writing. I guess I can say writer’s block is a really long, torturous and terrible thing but I’m starting to think it happened to me when my writing started getting attention because then I started writing for others and I don’t enjoy that half as much as I enjoy writing to myself. So this writing and this story is for me; but I’m gonna share it with you. That being said, happy reading!

Before: I, II, III, IV, V

**Contains filthy sinful smut and explicit language.

Ollie frowns before she bites her bottom lip and twirls her drink on her hand and I too watch the ice cubes dancing around on her glass. Jason laughs at something he’s told Marie on her ear and by the way her eyes widen and her cheeks turn pink I don’t want to know what he’s said.

“Indie.” Jason calls me. “Are you going to tell us or not?”

“Yeah, what happened?” Marie gives me a little smile.

She’s drunk already. I watch her tiny figure on her black top and her jeans and am afraid she keeps drinking because she’ll end up throwing up like I did last Friday. She gave me such a hard time this morning when I told them about my night with Harry even though Jason cut me short in order to keep the hype for this very same moment. Drinks after dinner and gossip. His favourite Friday night plan.

“Penis size.” Jason demands.

I roll my eyes before I smile at him mischievously as he joins his hands before his face as if he were going to pray and then slowly moves them away and away. Obviously I don’t say anything and his eyes widen.

“What?!” His hands keep separating from one another. “Okay, this is impossible. I’m starting over.”

Ollie throws her head back and laugh and I just shake my head. Marie tries to stop his hands and he gives up.

“It was big.” He shrugs. “The smile you got this morning confirmed it.”

We all laugh.

“I still can’t believe you actually slept with him.” Marie condemns. “He’s your tutor for God’s sake. He has to supervise your freaking essay! Have you thought about how you’re going to go on about that?”

“Okay, Marie, you need to calm down. It’s just an essay. It’s not like they have to perform an open-heart surgery together.”

“Harry told me if I wanted he could ask professor Gibbins to supervise my essay for me.” I shrug.

“But you’re not gonna do that, right?” Olivia asked.

I shrug again.

“See? That would clearly means it affects you academically.” Marie adds.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jason intervenes. “How is he coming on about it?” I fix my eyes on his with a questioning look. “I mean what has he said?”

“Well let her finish!” Olivia complains. “All we know is they had sex. We don’t know any details.”

“Well I’m not planning on giving you any details.”

“See? You killed the vibe guys!”

I roll my eyes.

“He didn’t say anything.” I tell them. “Because I left before he woke up.” I flinch.

Marie’s jaw falls, Olivia starts choking with her drink and Jason, being the dramatic queen he is, just spits his.

“You did what?” He yells.

“I panicked!” I defend myself. “I just… It all happened pretty fast I wasn’t even expecting to have sex with him at all and then we did and I fell asleep accidentally and I woke up at like 5 am and left because… Well because what was I doing there?”

“When you mean you fell asleep accidentally, you mean he tired you out so bad you literally just fell asleep?” Jason’s eyes provoke me with his usual spark I’ve missed so much lately.

I’m glad my drama is at least bringing playful Jason back. I haven’t heard him teasing any of us like that in weeks so I roll my eyes and sit back on my chair.

“And he hasn’t called you or text you or something?” Marie asks.

I shake my head and she places her hand on top of mine. This is what I love about Marie. I know she doesn’t approve of what I did but the way she cares about me overcomes her disagreement. She might not want me to get involved with Harry, but she’ll feel sorry for me if I don’t get what I want anyway.

“How is he going to call her if she’s the one who left?” Jason says. “You should call him!”

“But he’s the guy…” Marie shrugs. “Usually is the guy who calls.”

“Maybe that’s why I wasn’t good with girls.” Jason shrugs.

“You weren’t good with girls because you’re gay.” Olivia smiles.

“I’m bisexual.”

“You’re not.”

Jason smiles at her.

“The fact that I was never attracted to you does not make me gay, Ollie.”

She shrugs and pouts raising her eyebrows and if the concept whatever had a face, I’m sure it would be that one. They both laugh because they’re the same person in two different bodies. That’s the reason why JJ was never attracted to Ollie but they’re not ready to talk about that.

“So on Monday you’re just gonna go to his office with your essay and wait for him to give you corrections after not even calling him after you disappeared on him.”

I don’t know whether that was a question, an accusation or opcion C. I shrug. Olivia rolls her eyes and grabs my phone.

“Let me see.”

“No, Ollie! No, give it back!”

Jason defends her standing in the middle of us two as she unblocks my phone. I call for Marie’s help and she tries to grab the phone away from her but Olivia’s taller so my little ally has little to do.

“Where to begin?” She thinks out loud. “How should I start J?”

“Just call him.” Jason lets out.

“Do not. Do not call him.”

“Guys don’t be cruel.”

Marie tries to grab my phone back as the nerves eat my stomach up. I feel like puking.

“I’ll text him!” I offer and I spot Olivia’s head popping up from behind Jason’s back. She’s got a single eyebrow up and JJ and her exchange a look.

“I wouldn’t trust her but she’s about to cry. Give her the phone.” He shrugs.

Ollie hands me the phone and I check she didn’t text Harry anything with my heart pounding against my rib cage.

“What do you think I should do, Marie?”

Her eyes widen while Olivia and Jason complain about why I’d ask her and ignore them. I think Marie’s going to tell me she doesn’t know, that she doesn’t have much experience with guys, because ever since her ex cheated on her she hasn’t gone out with anyone but deep down I know I just want for someone to tell me I don’t have to call him and I think Marie is going to say that. Instead she shrugs and wraps her little arm around my shoulders.

“I think we should have another drink.”

Oh, Marie, you’re drunk and not helping much. I see Ollie and Jason arguing as we lean at the bar and wait for the waiter to take our order. He eyes my friend once as Marie looks to her nails. He eyes her again and smiles to himself.

“Marie, the waiter’s got the hots for you.”

Marie looks at him as he takes an order and then back at me with a questioning look. Damn it, she’s so unlucky. If this was a movie she would have caught him staring but this is not and that’s why Harry hasn’t called me either because this is not a movie, this is real life and in real life girls like me don’t go out with guys like Harry.

“I think you should text him.”

My eyes bulge as I look at Marie.

“What can I offer the prettiest girl at the bar?”

I hear her giggles from behind me. Good job, waiter. If he had said that to me I would have rolled my eyes and told him to get himself some glasses but this is Marie we’re talking about. She probably is the prettiest girl at the bar anyway and she’s also a firm romcom believer so that pick-up line was perfect for her.

“I’ll have Bacardi and coke and Bulldog and tonic, please.”

He winks at her before he disappears to get our drinks ready.

“What did you say?” I ask her as soon as she turns around.

“You didn’t want Bulldog? I can probably ask him to change it, sorry!”

She’s about to call the waiter when I stop her.

“No!” I tell her. “I mean, did you say you think I should call Harry?”

“I said text.” She points. “And yes, I did because I think you should. I just didn’t say anything in front of Jason and Ollie for them not to think they were right. Lord knows they don’t need me to feed their ego.”

Before I can argue, Marie’s waiter comes back with our two drinks and a bowl with gummy bears we didn’t ask for. He winks at Marie and doesn’t tell her how much she ought to pay. I smile. He’s good. Marie hands him her credit card anyway.

“It’s on the house.”

“No, it’s not.” She smiles.

“I insist.”

“If you want to offer me a drink, I’d rather you have it with me.”

My eyes widen behind my friend and I see the waiter blushing and laughing. Well done, Marie! He then accepts her credit card and asks for her phone number and my friend gives it to him and turns around as if that happened to her on a daily basis. We walk away like divas until we are at a safe distance and then we laugh out loud.

“What was that? Did Olivia’s spirit posses you?”

“I don’t know!” She laughs. “I mean we talked last night while you were on your date with Harry and you know how she is, she tried to convince me about the benefits of sporadic sex and I don’t know, it got me thinking.” She giggles. “He was handsome, right?”

“He was!” I laugh. “Guys, the waiter just asked for Marie’s number!”

“What? Which waiter?”

Jason’s eyes widen as he looks at her and Marie tells him the story and I don’t fail to notice the way Olivia’s eyes fall on her and she smiles knowingly. Oh, Ollie. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and hug her to my side even though she just tried to ruin my life by calling Harry treacherously because I know she means well.

I remember when she would tell Jason about how different things were when you actually took the time to get to know the person you were attracted to and everything about love and trust and forever and ever and Jason would go out with a different person every weekend.

It’s surprising how a heartbreak can change a person, just how love can change them back I guess for after Jack hurt Olivia she turned into Jason and ever since Jason met David he turned into a romantic soul defending and justifying a toxic relationship.

I wonder if there’s ever a healthy point. I think there might be if one of them or maybe both are psychotherapists but otherwise I think love is bound to make people crazy and then they start doing weird shit until the situation turns impossible and then one of them decides to end it or they both settle into being less happy than they could be.

“Yeah, right, and then he pays for dinner and thinks for that he has the right to fuck you and then he never calls you again.”

Marie’s words resound on my head like a mantra. And then he never calls you again… That would make everything easier and anyway part of me knew everything he wanted was a shag and then he’d get over it and act as if nothing ever happened but then why does it matter to me that he hasn’t called me?

“Sorry.”

When I look up I catch on the look Jason gave Marie for her to apologize. I don’t think they were talking about me but even if they were, I wouldn’t mind. They’re right. I feel like a prostitute.

“Anyway, Indie” Ollie has a sip from her drink and wiggles her eyebrows “did you like it?”

“What? The sex?”

She nods and shrugs raising her eyebrows as if saying what else?

“Well, Harry we all know you like.” She laughs.

What can I say?

“It was incredible.” I confess.

I don’t want to say what follows. I don’t even want to think about it. It can’t be true anyway. There’s no way it’s true. I don’t love Harry. But precisely because I don’t love him I could admit it was the best sex without love of my life. Yeah, that could be it. It doesn’t make me feel less guilty though.

“Well, at least it was worth the trouble.”

“What trouble?” Ollie asks.

“Well, I mean it’s not the smartest thing to do if she wants him to respect her.” Marie raises her eyebrows.

“What?” I will not stand that. “So just because I have sex I don’t deserve respect?”

“No, Indie, you know what I mean. I just mean if the rest of doctors hear about it, what do you think they would think?”

“Why would I care what they think?” I am getting mad. “I can’t believe you’re saying that, Marie. It’s precisely for comments like that that we can’t move past it. Do you realize how sexist you’re sounding right now? You don’t think that same thing of him, do you? Just because he’s a man!”

“I am the sexist? You were the one who let her professor fuck her! Who knows how many students has he fucked?”

I can’t believe my ears.

“Let him fuck me?” I’m disgusted at her choice of words. “There were two people on that bed, you know? I did what I wanted to do. I didn’t let him fuck me. I fucked him too!” I only realize I’m screaming when I notice the eyes of those around us on me. “I know how to say no, you know?”

“Well you said you didn’t want to sleep with him and look at you.” She whispers. “Are you sure you didn’t leave in the morning because you regretted it? Maybe you were even embarrassed?”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me.”

I leave Marie gasping like a fish out of water and walk outside to the terrace. It’s the end of October already and it’s rather chilly today so I’m not surprised when I realize the only people around me are smoking.

I bring the collar of my denim jacket to my chin and hug my frame as I look ahead at the lights on the bars on the other side of the street. I can’t believe Marie had said all that to me. One minute she’s saying she thinks I should text him and the other she’s throwing all that shit at me. I know she’s overly protective but she can be such a bitch sometimes too.

And I quite frankly don’t get the concept she has of sex. She almost made it sound as if Harry had somehow raped me and for the love of God even thinking about it makes me hate her words. What happened with Harry was… Perfect.

And that’s why I left.

I feel tears blurring my vision. Fuck. I wasn’t expecting these thoughts to be clouding my mind now. I feel my phone vibrating and take it out the pocket of my jacket. Rio said he would text me when he was going home and check if I needed a ride but it’s too soon for him to want to go home already. Maybe he’s having a shitty night just like I am.

Harry: What are you doing?

I hold the phone on my hand and can barely believe my eyes as I read his text again and again. I hadn’t even thought about one of the many terrible things Marie just said. How many students has he fucked? I don’t know if I care. I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t care about how many women he’s fucked in the past or even how many women he’s fucking now. I can’t walk around pretending I’m the most liberated woman and then question how many women my partner has fucked. If he’s fucked a lot of students well, good for them.

He clearly has experience. One isn’t a master in sex by studying about it. The way he touched me and the way he hit every spot he needed to clearly indicated practice. But it’s not about the practice or even the sex. I don’t care about that, that I know. It’s about fucking students.

I entertain the thought that Marie might be right. What if he did take advantage of me? What if he always does this? Make his student wet and then get in her panties and if I’ve seen you, I don’t remember. This is the kind of behaviour I would condemn if I heard about it. I would be one of those people who would think he was a jerk for taking advantage of a student like that. I guess that’s just another way of being sexist though.

“Hey.” Olivia places her hand on the spot between my shoulder blades.

“Hey.” I give her a little smile.

“Marie’s really sorry.” She mediates. “She wanted to come talk to you but I told her it was better if she gave you some space.”

“Do you think she’s right?”

Olivia shakes her head.

“Do you?”

It’s hard for me to know that kind of things now. It’s a fear I can’t get rid off. After Javier, I mean after getting out of an abusive relationship like that, I keep wondering if I would ever jump right back into another. Whether I’m that profile of girl and I’m bound to have my partner abusing of me whether I realize it or not.

I’m seeing that with Jason too and I realize how scary and how hard it is. He doesn’t see it, he’s completely blind and you start wondering how is it possible that not only he doesn’t realize but he also justifies it. It’s very frustrating to talk to someone that not only allows someone else to hurt them but actually understands them. It’s scary what someone can do to somebody’s mind.

“Can I tell you what I think?” Olivia lights up the cigarette between her lips and I shrug. “I think you like him.”

I look ahead. That doesn’t matter. I still have my phone on my hand and we both look down when the screen lights up and another text pops up.

Harry: Are you home?

“And he likes you too.” Olivia smiles. “Answer him. I’m gonna get us another drink.”

Indie: It’s Friday night. Of course I’m not.

Harry: What? You go out every single Friday night?

Indie: Don’t you?

Harry: Sometimes I forget you’re 21.

Harry: Can we talk?

Indie: We’re talking.

Harry: I mean can I see you?

Indie: It’s Golden Girls’ night.

Harry: Can I call you then?

Indie: What’s the problem with texting?

Harry: Sometimes you forget I’m 27.

I chuckle and call him. He answers on the first beep.

“Why did you leave?”

Oh, boy.

“I had to go. You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You had to go? In the middle of the night?”

“It was morning…”

“Indie.”

“I wanted to go home before uni so I left early. I didn’t realize I had to give you any explanations.”

“Fuck, Indie. Are you always so blunt?”

“I did warn you. You said I got to be blunt.” I shrug even though he can’t see me.

“You didn’t even let me say goodbye.”

“Well, it’s not like you saying goodbye would have made a difference, is it?”

“I would have kissed you” he argues “and that would have made a difference.”

My knees go weak.

“Are you with Olivia?”

“Yes?”

Please tell me he’s not about to ask me for her phone number. I would tear his head off.

“Okay. I’ll see you.”

I feel tickles on my belly as I make my way inside the bar. Jason gives me an innocent smile as Marie looks at me as if I was the one deciding whether she should go to prison or not. I offer her my hand across the table and she holds it as her bottom lip tremble. I know she’s sorry and God knows sometimes I say things I don’t mean too. It would be very hypocritical of me not to let it go now.

I see Olivia smiling on the phone and give my friends a questioningly look but they shake their head. Jason stands up from the table and tells us he’s leaving. I’ve already fought with Marie tonight and quite frankly I don’t feel like fighting him about the same thing again but silently we all know he’s going because David doesn’t like it when we party until morning. I give him a hug though as he says goodbye.

“Whaaaat?” Ollie pouts. “You’re leaving? What’s this? Where are the party animals I used to know and love? Mario’s on his way!”

I spit my drink. Marie’s eyes set on mine. We’re both horrified.

As soon as Jason leaves Marie comes back with two more drinks, a peace offer she says, but I know she just wanted to see her waiter again. I appreciate the drink though. I had enough thinking tonight and I want to let it all go. Getting drunk doesn’t solve anything. Alcohol would make her shut up too.

“When did this happen?” I interrogate Olivia.

She’s been making all these questions to me and she hadn’t told us this bomb!

“He’s my tutor…” She shrugs. “So the other day we had a cup of coffee while we went on about my clinical case and…” She smiles. “He’s funny.”

“And?”

“And… We started talking.”

“And how does he have your phone number?”

“I gave it to him.”

I raise my brows. If she’s gonna make us ask every little piece of information… We will.

“Why?”

“Because I have to catch up on the practices I missed when I went to France to visit my mamie.”

Marie and I look at each other with mouths agape before we both look at her.

“And you’re going to catch up on that now?” Marie asks.

Olivia rolls her eyes and grins as she waves at someone at the door. Marie and I turn our heads and my breath catches on my throat when my eyes meet the green.

Harry’s grinning as he walks towards us. Marie’s foot keeps kicking me under the high table but my eyes don’t leave his. I don’t think I could look away if I tried. Memories of last night play in my mind like a movie and I wonder if they play on his too. I woke up on his bed this morning for crying out loud.

“Hi.” He greets us.

“Hi.” Marie offers him her little hand and he shakes it amused.

“Hi.” I smile and his green eyes set on my lips.

If I had any doubts… He’s definitely thinking about last night too.

“Hi, Mario.” I give him another smile and he smiles back.

“Hi, Indie. How are you?”

He’s grinning like a kid in Christmas and he looks so much younger than he normally does at the hospital. I almost want to aww at him but I won’t. Oh, Ollie, please don’t hurt him. He looks like a teddy bear.

“This is my cousin Tommy.”

Mario introduces the third guy that came with them and he sits down next to Marie. The perfect sync tells me they’ve talked before they got here. Marie laughs at something Tommy says and I roll my eyes. She really needs a shag like Ollie says.

Ollie and Mario disappear to order drinks for all of them and Harry simply stands next to me with a big smile. I don’t know how I feel about him not being even a little annoyed that I left without waking him even though I didn’t do it to annoy him but… It still bothers me a little.

“Let me guess” I tell him “A glass of water for you.”

He throws his head and laughs.

“I actually drink Sprite when I go out.”

“Sprite?” I chuckle. “I’ve never met anyone who drinks just Sprite. I mean anyone over six years old.”

He chuckles.

“Well, I’m Harry. Nice to meet you.” He offers me his hand and I shake it. “I drink just Sprite when I go out and I normally say goodbye to people I fuck before I leave.”

Ouch. I narrow my eyes at him but don’t say anything and as if on cue, Olivia and Mario appear with his Sprite and Mario’s and Tommy’s drink. I look away from him and pay attention to Tommy as he tells Marie about his life but the entire time I can feel Harry’s eyes on me.

I notice women look at him too but he doesn’t seem to care. Instead he looks at me. He knows he’s annoying me. I wonder if he’s so used to women staring and trying to get with him that his brain doesn’t even see it anymore like it does with our noses.

“Is there something on my face?”

He shakes his head and that stupid smile stays.

“But it’s hard for me not to see you naked on my mind.”

My face heats up immediately and horrified I look at both my friends but they’re both busy chatting up the Italian cousins. He leans closer to my body so he can whisper in my ear.

“And remember how you taste” my breathing trembles “and how you smell” he inhales my parfum and hums in appreciation and I feel my fingers tightening around my drink “and how you feel, so tight and wet and warm” his fingers wrap around a strand of my hair and he glides them down until the tip before he rests it on my back.

“Why me?”

As I turn my neck to face him, I hear him suck in a breath at our proximity. I play it cool but my mouth goes dry too, especially when I see I have that effect on him too.

“Why you what?”

“Why do you insist on me?”

“So pretty with your lips red.”

I sigh and look away from him. If he’s not going to answer my questions then I won’t give him the time of the day.

“I don’t know.” He confesses next to me.

I turn my neck again and stare into his green eyes searching for any sign of lying but all I find is sincerity and confusion? Is he as confused as I am?

“Don’t lie.”

I hear him puffing through his nose and watch him. His jaw clenches.

“I told you I don’t lie.” He reminds me. “I really don’t know, Indie. I don’t know why I can’t get you out of my head but I can’t and I want to fuck you all the time.” He shrugs.

I remember what he said about always saying what’s going through his mind and after that, I believe him. I feel my mouth going dry and I want him to fuck me too. I’m afraid this man can read my mind because I don’t know why but I know he knows that too. Maybe I can read his mind too or maybe I’m as obvious as he is.

“Come home with me.”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I still have some questions to ask him and I want to stop thinking again. I think last night was the first time I stopped torturing myself in three years and I want to feel like that again.

I guess it’s strange that it doesn’t feel weird to me to walk next to him towards his car or that we said our goodbye to my friends as if it was normal that we left together and it’s also strange that I like the way people look at us down the street. He doesn’t walk too close to me or touches me at all and I reckon he might be as scared that someone from the hospital would see us together as I am. My phone vibrates and Rio’s name appears on the screen.

“Hi, Blue.” My brother’s deep voice greets me.

Everyone in my family has always called me by my middle name. I only started being Indie when I met Dylan.

“Hi there. Going home already?”

“Yeah, the guys wanted to go clubbing but since we have mum’s meeting tomorrow morning I thought it smarter to go home.” He chuckles.

“Yeah.” I chuckle too.

“Are you coming?”

“No, not yet.”

“Are you with Jason and the girls?”

“Yeah.” I lie.

“Cool. Don’t come home alone. Call me if you need me to pick you up.”

“Sure, Rio. Thank you.”

“That’s okay. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Who’s Rio?” Harry asks as soon as I hang up the phone.

If he wants to know about my family I’ll answer his questions. I don’t mind talking about my family. Other things... Well, that’s another story.

“Rio’s my brother.”

He nods. I’m surprised when he doesn’t ask anything further but he seems awfully quiet. Just ten minutes ago he was teasing me and he seemed to be ready to fuck me against that very same table and now he seems to be deep in thought. I don’t know why but I don’t like seeing him like this. I like the carefree, smiley Harry who doesn’t seem to have a worry in the world.

“Is everything alright?”

It’s the first time he looks at me like that. His green eyes seem dull and I feel like I just touched something that I shouldn’t. His gaze makes me shiver. He sighs and looks ahead and simply shakes his head.

Once again his sincerity surprises me. I’m gonna have to start believing that he does not lie. Out of nowhere, because I don’t like seeing him like that, I reach for his hand and hold it in mine and he eyes our intertwined hands together before he removes his as if mine burnt. What burns then are my cheeks. Why did I do that?

I am beyond embarrassed and I’m glad he isn’t making any comments because the last thing I want right now is to talk about it. If he were to say something, I’d thank him for removing his hand from mine. It still stings.

Lustful imagines fill my mind as we make our way inside his apartment and my eyes fix on the same wall he had me pressed against less than 24 hours ago. My mouth goes dry just by thinking about it and all I want is for him to take me like he did the night before. I turn to look at him and my eyes must speak for me because without wasting another minute he kisses me against the door.

He still has his keys on his hand, the one that’s resting on my waist, until he lets them fall and I hear the jingling sound against the floor and then his hand snakes under my denim jacket and he places his palm on my back pulling me to him and pressing my chest against his.

His lips are soft and tender and he tastes sweet and minty. I enjoy the way he knows how to use his mouth, his kisses having a direct line with my belly, that flips and roars and sends electricity to the rest of my body; and my fingers find a home on his hair as I gently tug at his soft strands. His tongue licks my lips before he rolls it over mine and we start a wet battle I don’t mind losing.

Holding my body close to his with one hand on my back, he takes my jacket off with the other, letting it fall to the ground. On the silence of his apartment, I hear the fabric when it hits the floor and forms a blue denim mound, and I hear our mouths and our breaths mixing together.

Without saying a word or stopping our kiss, he walks along the grey hall and guides me backwards towards the bathroom inside his bedroom and only once inside he breaks the kiss and turns my body around, pressing my back against his chest.

The walls are pearl grey but this time it’s a grey tile with horizontal stripes that remind me of the blunt tips of those mountain rocks where you can see the layers that build the mountain. The sink is part of a white marble top that stands below a big mirror where I can see his hands caressing the skin of my bare arms before one hand presses against my belly through my dress and up to my chest where he cups one of my breasts and squeezes the flesh. I moan and rest the back of my head on his shoulder and he takes the opportunity to kiss, suck and nibble on the skin of my neck. I watch on the mirror his right hand grabbing the hem of my dress over my right thigh and lifting it up until he exposes my hip.

Delicately his large hands grab the hem of my dress and carefully lifts it up until he takes it off me and then his wandering hands caress the skin of my front and massage my breasts. His hot breath on my shoulder raises goosebumps and ignites my desire for him.

“You’re so soft.” He whispers on my ear before he presses a single kiss against my pulse. “And so warm.”

He stops touching me and it’s like he leaves me naked all over again. I tilt my neck so I can see him and he captures my lips with his and dives his tongue inside my mouth. I moan and press my bum against his groin and I can’t control my arousal when I feel his excitement against my hot skin. I feel his fingers moving against my back as he unbuttons his shirt and I focus on the noises. His breathing on my ear, the soft fabric falling down his arms, his zipper going down…

He stops my hands when I try to unclasp my bra and I still see him through the mirror unclasping it himself and placing all my garments together on the marble top. I am not even aware of my own reflection since Harry’s steals all my attention and doesn’t let me see anything else. His body is athletic and tall and his skin is pale and inked and I want to run my tongue across all of him and kiss every corner of his body. Leaving my undies on, his large hands caress my legs as he kneels down and playfully bites the flesh of my ass as he takes off my shoes.

I think my mouth is so dry I couldn’t speak if I wanted to but there’s nothing to say anyway. There’s something about this silence between us as if we were accustomed to each other that keeps me quiet. Finally he snakes both his hands under the hem of my panties on either side of my hips and caresses down my legs taking my underwear down with his hands. When we are both fully naked, he gently pushes me so I walk inside the shower and he closes the screen behind us.

There’s no sign of the playful Harry, neither of the filthy Harry I got to know last night. Instead he looks at me as if I was the most precious thing on the world and I feel my legs turning into jelly under his worshipping stare. Despite his calm, his length rests against his belly stiff, tight and shinny and my mouth waters. I wonder if he’d let me wrap my mouth around him if I asked but I’m afraid of doing so. He doesn’t seem to mind my curious staring as he approaches me and corners me against the wall. His hand snakes behind me and he turns on the water that falls on top of us and get us soaked in seconds.

My eyes are closed when his hot mouth gapes against mine before he fully kisses me and his hands fall to my ass, grabbing my flesh as he presses me against his hard on. I thank God he’s holding me for otherwise I think my legs would have brought me down already.

Stamping wet kisses everywhere his lips land, he turns my body slowly so that my back is pressed against his front once again and I moan out loud when I feel his fingertips tickling the insides of my thighs. My mouth parts at the touch of his two middle fingers intruding ever so delicately and his worked up breathing against my cheek sends my chest into a frenzy.

My left hand caresses the skin on his arm as his wrist moves back and forth and his fingers curl deliciously inside me and my other hand searches for his hair and caress his scalp.

“You’re so beautiful, Indie” He presses a kiss against my shoulder “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” My voice is all but a whisper but he doesn’t press it.

His fingers make me lightheaded but have me dying for more so I press my hips against his and moan when I feel his hot, stiff length against the low of my back. He grunts and his fingers fasten making me lose my mind completely.

“Harry” I moan, swallowing the water that falls on my mouth from the shower in an attempt to hydrate my throat. “I want you.”

“I’m right here.” He whispers.

“I want you inside.”

I bend my neck so my eyes look into his because I’ve found he’s very good at reading them and I want him to see them beg, in case he didn’t have enough with the desperation of my voice.

“Fuck, Indie. I don’t… I don’t have a condom.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I turn my body around and bring his mouth to mine with my hands on his neck. Our lips meet and battle and Harry’s merciless mouth attacks mine before his tongue soothes every red blood patch. I feel my lungs closing on me at the anticipation of having him bare and having him release white hot cum inside my cunt so that it drops out and stains my inner thighs but then his words resound on my head and I pull back.

“Are you-” On a sane moment, I stop the question before I ask.

Of course he’s having sex with other people.

“I always wear a condom.” He cups my face and presses a sweet kiss against my lips. “But I can make you cum with my fingers and have you afterwards.”

I nod my head and with that he takes me back to the place where I’m nothing but what he touches.

I still have trouble breathing when we come out of the shower. He doesn’t stop amazing me, the way he treats me and touches me as if I was made out of glass. I wonder if he touches every woman like that and I ignore the feeling on my throat. He’s staring at me. Please, don’t, don’t look at me like that. I feel very exposed, standing completely naked in his shower as his eyes investigate every part of my body.

He grabs a fresh towel from the cupboard underneath the sink and my lips part when instead of giving it to me or using it to dry himself, he hides his two hands underneath the towel and presses them against my skin in a calming, almost hypnotic ritual. He’s quiet and his expression is serious but calm. I think the troubled Harry is gone. I indulge in the way he softly presses the towel instead of rubbing it as if he was going to hurt my skin if he didn’t act so delicately. He’s kneeling in front of me as he dries my thighs and my belly and watching him I forget my exposure to him. He presses a kiss on my hipbone and then stands up and kisses my lips and being fully dried, I’ve never felt wetter.

I grab the towel from his hands and do the exact same thing he did to me but to his body and I feel lucky he lets me. My hair is wet against my back contrasting my dry mouth and I moisten my lips with every inch of his skin I carefully dry. His skin is tight and soft but thick and firm as it covers his lean muscles. Sometimes I let my fingers rest against his warm skin. I guess it’s my own timid version of the kisses he pressed against mine. When I look up at him, his green eyes look at me, seemingly confused.

I hate that he does that. He allows himself to do all these things with me, like staring at me as if he’s never seen a woman before or kiss me as if he meant it but he never lets me reciprocates. He takes his hand away when I hold it and now looks at me like that. I stand tall and leave the towel next to my clothes on the sink and when I’m about to walk away his long fingers wrap around my wrist and turn me around.

I watch him intertwined our fingers with the hand he has taken away before on his sudden mutism and he just stares at our intertwined hands as his thumb caresses my skin before he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. I don’t know why, but I take it as a silent apology and taking his hand to my lips, I kiss it on silent forgiveness. He's still rock hard and I don’t know how he can stand there so seemingly impassive when all his blood is on that one precious part of his body. In one of his mood changes, he shifts from calm, soft Harry to the passionate, wild one and he pins me against the wall before his mouth devours mine. His teeth nibble on my bottom lip and make me moan. I’m so ready for him I’m scared of it.

Suddenly he removes his body from mine and I feel the cold his void left as he kneels in front of the sink and opens the cupboard. His absence lets me see my reflection on the mirror. I almost don’t recognize myself. My hair is humid and disheveled. Some strands frame my rosy cheeks and my chest is flushed as it moves up and down on a laborious breathing. As if I wanted to make sure that woman is me, I bring my mouth to my lips and watch her do the same. They feel warm against my mouth and they’re red blood.

When Harry stands tall, he turns his neck and looks at the mirror too and his eyes darken when he realizes I was watching myself.

“You look ravishing.”

“Then ravish me.”

I hear myself whisper and wait for him against the wall. I’ve never seen anyone putting on a condom faster and then I am levitating, mentally and physically, for Harry holds my waist and lifts me up so my feet aren’t touching the ground. As if I have done this before, my legs wrap around his waist as if my body knows what to do even when my head doesn’t. Just like last night and like I did in the shower, I let myself go and I feel that invisible deadweight I always carry on my chest lift and leave me. I feel light as a feather during those seconds before he plunges into my depths breaching every barrier of my intimacy but I welcome his intrusion as we both sigh at the feeling.

I feel like I’m dancing upon that fine line between pain and pleasure for I feel so full and the pressure takes every thought I’ve ever had away and his hips are unforgiving as he pushes in and out of me. I try to sustain my body weight, hands pushing off his shoulders and I want to ask him if I’m too heavy or if he’s okay but a whisper of his name is all I can muster among whimpers and soft pants.

We’re not even five feet away from his bed, a big, soft, comfortable bed where we could have a banquet of one another like we had the night before but it’s precisely the urgency, the animalistic, desperate need that’s sending me to the edge faster than it ever has. His ruthless hips lift my body against the tile every time he thrusts and my bare back slides down the wall every time he removes my hold rolling out of me but when my nails cling onto his shoulders and I’m afraid I’m gonna fall, he pushes in again and the whole ritual begins. The adrenaline runs through my veins at the feeling of free falling but his hands and thighs sooth me with the security of his hold. He’s taking me high but he won’t let me fall.

His grunts and groans hunt me like a heavenly song and I try to keep my ears opened so I can record his sounds and replay them when I’m not with him but it’s hard to pay attention to anything different from that desirable spot only he’s reached as he hits it again and again and again and again. I miss him every time he pulls out but it’s only for a second before he’s pushing in again.

His hands move from my hips to the back of my thighs and in an instant of panic, thinking he’s about to put me down, I clench my thighs around him tighter and he curses under his breath. I watch him as his thrusts become faster and he can’t barely get his length out but his vulnerable grunts and the way he looks, flushed and out of his mind, are enough for me. His forehead falls on mine and his hot breath hits my cheeks while he grins.

“Sorry.” He pecks my cheek. “I would have lasted longer if you hadn’t done that.” He’s smiling.

“I thought you were going to put me down.” I pout.

My hands snake from his shoulders to his hair and he chuckles before he kisses my neck.

“I was going to. I was going to take you to bed and give myself a second so I could make you cum first but when you tightened your thighs around me…” He tilts his head. “Fuck.”

“Sorry.” I smirk naughtily and he chuckles.

“You should be.” He kisses me as he rolls out and finally puts me down leaving a sad feeling of emptiness between my legs. “You should be illegal.” He spanks my ass playfully and walks out of the bathroom.

I grin like a fool and take this minute of solitude to take in the way I feel and relish on it. I bring my hand to my lower lips and blush when I notice how wet I am. I close the door of the bathroom to pee and clean myself. When I open the door, I don’t find Harry on his bed but I see a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt and even a pair of boxers folded on the mattress. His voice calls my name from outside his room.

“Are you hungry?” He must be in the kitchen.

I’m not really hungry but if he has something to eat, I might nibble on it. I doubt but when I’m about to expose myself to a new possible embarrassment he saves me. He’s leaning against the doorframe of his room in a pair of olive-green sweatpants. How can someone look so good in sweatpants?

“Those are for you.” He smiles. “But you can grab anything else from my wardrobe too.”

“No, these are fine. Thank you.”

Seeing him half dressed suddenly makes me uncomfortably aware of my own nudity so I put on his t-shirt without even looking at it.

“I was going to say you could also walk around naked” he grins smugly as I walk towards him “but that was before I knew you looked so sexy on my clothes.”

I rest the low of my back on his kitchen island and let my eyes wander across the white cupboards. The counter is white marble too and so is the island where my hips rest. The distribution seems weird to me, the sink is on the counter in front of me and behind that it’s his room and on the kitchen island he’s got the stove and under it the oven and some more cupboards. I guess it’s not so much of a kitchen island as it is an open kitchen.

I tilt my neck and see the living room and the views outside the glass windows. I imagine him cooking and looking through the window. He’s got a nice view of the city from there. He’s been watching me the entire time with a smile on his face.

“What’s on your mind?”

“You want the explicit version?”

He washes his hands on the sink but tils his neck so he can see me.

“Please.”

“I was thinking about sitting you up on that counter and making you cum on my mouth.”

My eyes widen and my face and neck heats up. This man is going to be the death of me. He’s insatiable.

“So what do you feel like having? I have fruit and bread and-” he opens the cabinets and makes a list of the food he has as if he had not just said that and for a second I think I have imagined it.

“So you’re not going to?”

I think I did say that out loud because he turns his head and looks at me with raised eyebrows.

“You want me to?”

“No,” Yes “it’s just that you said you were thinking about it and then offer me fruit?”

I must be hilarious to him because he throws his head back and laughs out loud.

“If I fucked you every time I think about it, you couldn’t walk.”

I lick my lips. He makes my mouth dry all the time. What is he doing to me? I’m gonna end up like a sex addict like him. I enter his game. If he can say these things and then act as if nothing happened so can I.

“Can I have a glass of milk?”

“You want milk?”

I roll my eyes when I see the way he’s grinning and I swat his chest playfully. He laughs and apologizes before he pours a glass of milk and hands it to me and then he grabs a clementine and peels it as his eyes fix on me.

“When you asked me why I didn’t drink” He says “what did you originally want to ask me?”

I frown. Seriously how does he know what I think all the time? How can he know I wanted to ask him something else? Am I that obvious?

“I already got my answer.” I shrug. “I wanted to ask you why you had chosen to supervise my essay.”

He nods. I drink my milk. That makes me think about what Marie said. I’m afraid of what he’ll answer if I ask him with how many students he’s been. I don’t want him to ruin what just happened by telling me this is something he’s done before and making me feel like just another one of his conquests even though that’s what I am.

“Why do you think I chose you?” His green eyes are narrowed as he studies my expression.

I don’t know how to answer that without degrading myself to the floor. Why did he even ask me? Why would he want to humiliate me like that? I think he can sense my discomfort.

“Indie?” He presses.

“Well it’s clear, isn’t it?”

“I chose you because you’re intelligent and you pay attention and you always ask interesting questions. It’s clear that you like what you do and I thought your essay would be interesting to read.”

My lips seal. I wasn’t expecting that. I feel stupid for thinking otherwise and I feel bad and sexist for having thought that way about myself. Sometimes we don’t need anyone to put ourselves down.

“You thought I had chosen you for your pretty face?”

“I didn’t think you had chosen me for my pretty face.”

I know there are lots of girls prettier than me in my class alone. I thought he had chosen me because he had this smug obsession of wanting the only thing he couldn’t have or something like that but I don’t think I’m pretty enough for him out of all people to choose me for my pretty face.

I yawn. I must look terrible because I’m not wearing any make up since our shower. Dear Lord I’m not wearing any make up since our shower! I must have looked like a panda bear under the water. That ruins the whole imagine. He wasn’t standing there with a beautiful girl under the shower but with a moaning wet panda.

“Well good” peacemaker Harry walks towards me with a beautiful smile and takes the now empty glass from my hand and leaves it on the counter next to me before he pecks my lips “because, despite your pretty face, I chose you for what’s in here” his fingertip delicately knocks on my temple and I smile. “You’re pretty tired, aren’t you?”

I yawn again and he chuckles. My hands cling onto his shoulders when I feel his arm under my knees and he lifts me up and carries me bridal style towards his room. I chuckle and hold onto his chest.

“I can walk, you know?”

“I know.” He grins.

We both chuckle as he walks towards his room and then he carefully places me on his bed. My eyes set on the picture on his bedside table again as he gets in bed next to me.

“Who are they?” I ask and yawn.

“Tired but still nosy.” He jokes.

He lifts his head so he can have a look at the photo even if he doesn’t need to because it’s his picture. He should know what he has next to his bed.

“They’re my mum and my sister.”

I hum. My eyes are already closed when I feel his kiss on my temple.

“Harry”

“Yeah?”

“Did I look like a raccoon on the shower?”

I smile with my eyes closed as he laughs out loud. I wish I could see him because I’ve never heard him laughing that hard but Morpheus is very distracting. What I hear next I don’t know if he said or I dreamt it because as he answers my question it’s like he’s speaking my own thoughts.

“It’s because you stop my mind.” He whispers.

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wrsworlddomination · 3 years

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eurovision 2015 top

1-7 i love, 8-25 i enjoy, 26-34 i wouldn't skip if they came on and the rest i greatly dislike

Georgia - this is my bad bitch song

Belgium - if a generic pop song (affectionate) had to win this year, why couldn't it be this one???

Italy - ok now i understand my mom's obsession with Pavarotti and Bocelli

Romania - just so u know, this is one of only four good Voltaj songs

Armenia - damn this druid(?) polycule can SING

Estonia - this is very charming. i also appreciate the heist movie staging

Slovenia - why does she sound like two different people at the same time

Belarus - i haven't been jealous of a violin until now...

Switzerland - damn this was unexpected

Portugal - Natasha Lyonne???

Ireland - this would have 100% won in the 80s

Sweden - too repetitive but that staging is still legendary

Montenegro - the fun uncle who gets shitfaced at balkan weddings

Spain - oh shit it's the avatar y'all

Latvia - love the vibe but her voice is... something

Germany - this would have totally been on the radio nonstop

Serbia - oh shit that tempo change

Finland - absolute legends

Moldova - this straight guy version of mr saxobeat is really funky actually

Cyprus - sweet and simple <3

Australia - surprisingly good

Denmark - he looks constipated is he ok

Azerbaijan - he really showed up in that outfit and thought he did something

Poland - if only i wasn't emotionally constipated

Austria - BURNING PIANOOO!!! Also the song is good too

Russia - Tusse did it better

Macedonia - imagine if this was sung only by the three guys in the back

Netherlands - kinda hoped the whole performance would have been that close up on her eyes

Czechia - i thought she was gonna throw her heels in his face

Norway - wish it had stayed slow paced

UK - ignoring the questionable lyrics this is a genuinely funky song

France - moving but that's it

Malta - apologize to Georgia right now.

Israel - he's never been told no and it shows

Albania - and i am asleep

Iceland - its cute but that's all there is to it

Lithuania - not even the gays can redeem this

Greece - normal piano and she's not even the one playing it? boring.

San Marino - this sounds like what they sing at church choir or something idk im not catholic

Hungary - i can accept a ballad about peace but not from them.

#eurovision #eurovision 2015 #esc #esc 2015 #personal rankings #my stuff

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kiribaku-recs · 4 years

Text

People suck, but not all of them

Chapter 1, Part 2.

When they are far away so that we can’t hear them bakugou turns to me with a smirk on his face “ you must be Kirishima Eijiro” I nod my head to nervous to do any gestures with my hands he nods his head in approval before bitting his lip looking me up and down. “Your really cute ya know” and my god it I ever thought I would die it’s right now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I can’t move, my body is hot all over, I can’t move or blink, but, I can breathe. I know I probably blush like a mad man right now, but I can help it a cute- no HOT guy just called me cute I think I’m gonna die. And the best part is I don’t even now how can he just say something like that! He’s so confident! He’s so manly! So cool! I wish I could be more like him!

Oh hell. Oh damn it. Oh shit. Oh fucking shit. That’s when I realize, my....my....pants have gotten a little tighter. Why did I wear skinny jeans? Why? Of all the times I can get a-...a-....ya know THAT it has to be right now? Why me of all people? And my mom and my teacher are here! And why did I get one? Because a extremely hot guy with nice arm, strong legs, probably a nice toned chest- FUCKING HELL EIJIRO GET YOURSELF!

I can’t even move my legs because I did it would just grow bigger, UGH I hate him. And thank GOD he hasn’t noticed, I would literally die. I move my hands in front of my..umm...problem, and I ball the into fists to try and cover my..um..problem.

He just stands their watching my mom and the teacher talk. It’s a little windy out so his spikey blond hair flows in the wind. I can’t help but look at it. I want to touch it. It looks spike and sharp. But also soft and fluffy? I wonder what it feels like? Is it natural? Does he dye it? Bleach it? What does it smell like? Sweet like a summer day, when it sunny out with clouds, a day that makes you want you to lay out in a Feild of grass away from people, away from the world away from all your problems. Where it’s just you and the flower? You and the clouds? You and the slight smell of rain in the air? Just you and the sun?

I didn’t even notice my mom and the teacher walking towards us, I was to focused on my day dream about bakugous hair, when I hear my mom calling me my name I snap out of my day dream and turn my head to look at her so quick I like I might have gotten wiplash. I blink a couple of time to get my head together, when I can finally focus I can see my mom’s worried face, bakugous proud smirk, and the teachers confused look.

“Are you alright dear?” I nod my head, lying once again because if she knew what happened I think I would have killed bakugou and myself. “Are you sure? You look awfully red” I nod my head frantically, trying to tell her that I’m fine and to drop the subject. A look of doubt lands on her face “You can always start school next week honey if you don’t feel up to it”

I can’t believe this is happening. My mom. My own Mother is BABYING me in front of BAKUGOU, I wish my mom would learn social cues, it would make my life so much easier, so, so, so much easier. ‘No mother I am perfectly fine’ I sign with a very annoyed look on face as I cross my arms and look at the ground.

My mom chuckled and whispered in my ear “sorry honey did mean to embarrass you” and my face heats up so much you could probably cook and egg on it. She just chuckles again. Sorry to tell you mom but it’s a little to late now. I just shake my head and my arms tightened over my chest, trying to make myself look small. Because all I want to do right now is have the earth swallow me whole.

The teacher clears his throat getting everyone’s attention. When everyone is looking at him she says “Bakugou may you take Kirishima and show him to everyone” bakugou nods his head than looks to me “are you ready to go?” I nod my head and begin to walk forward when I feel something tugging be backwards into a hug “ugh I’m going to miss you ya know that? Your my favorite child, I would send the twins here if I could.” She huffs a laugh, than she squeezed me very, VERY tight.

I just silently chuckle turning around so I can hug my mom properly. I’ll miss this. As much as I want to get away from my siblings and embarrassing mom, I’ll miss her, her sense of humor, her voice, the way she always makes sure I remember everything, the way we would all just sit down together and watch a movie all snuggled together under a blanket, they was she would sing to me when I was sad, they way she always made me feel safe and wanted and loved.

I quietly cry into her shoulder “I know honey, I’ll miss you too, if you need anything, and I mean anything I will help you. It doesn’t matter what time it is” I pull away nodding my head and wiping my eyes. “Ok sweetie, I love you and I’ll see you in a week ok?” I nod my head again still a little shaken up. I’m going to be going to UA with a hot blond, and that I won’t be able to see my mom everyday.

My mom looks over to bakugou “Take care of him please” bakugou looks at my mother and then to me with a soft smile “I will ma’am” I blush at that. My mom nods her head and looks at me one last time “ok you better get going before I can my mind about this” I smile and wave as I walk away.

Come one Eijiro you got this to can do this I say to myself as I’m trying hype myself up. I turn to bakugou who looking at me. I give him a big grin, not a big tooth girn that’s I used to give people. A lot of people are scared of my teeth. They are sharp and pointy, like a shark. People used to make fun of me for it. That’s why I usual don’t open my month of smile big tooth smile, I don’t want to be known as the freak.

When we are almost their I glance over to bakugou, who have an unreadable exasperation on his face. His eye brows are scrunched together likes he’s deep in thought. I wonder what he’s thinking about. Is he thinking out me? Is he thinking that I’m weird? I’m a baby who cry’s when his mommy leaves him- all of the sudden bakugou turns to look and me. He now has a face of determination, “I’m sorry” is all he says.

I stop in my track confused on why he’s sorry. He didn’t do anything? Did I make him feel that way? Did I do something that made him uncomfortable? Did I look at him weird? What the hell am I saying I probably did all of those things, I can’t do anything right. Hahha. ‘Hi I’m Eijiro Kirishima and I can do anything right’ that’s how I should start addressing people. The boy who can’t even try and save himself, the boy everyone hates, the boy who always messes up. That sounds like a good way to start addressing people. At least they’ll know the truth.

When bakugou notice I stopped, he stops and turns around and walks towards me. His shoulders are slumped and he giving off the vibe ‘look and me I dare you to’ and it’s really intimidating.

He walks up to me and stops right in front of my feet. He shifts from one foot to another, he looks down at his feet, “I just wanted to apologize” he mumbled barely loud enough for me to here.

I raise my hand to tap him one the shoulder to look at me, after a couple of seconds he looks up from his shoes and down at me ‘why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything’ he huffs a laugh “ I’m sorry if I make you uncomfortable when I called you cute. Don’t get me wrong you are still very cute and really attractive and I would love to get to know you more- fuck-...umm shit I...ummm.uhh.. yea....”

I just silently chuckled ‘I would like to get to o wo you to’ And yes, I am aware that, ME Kirishima Eijiro with anxiety, and no social life, the kid who can’t go to the bathroom in public because it scares him, yes THAT Kirishima Eijiro just basically told a guy that I liked him. And I have no fucking idea how the hell I got so much confidence.

But I don’t really care. Because as soon as I signed it, he got the brightest smile on his face. It looked like it could kill someone. The way his crystal blue eye shimmer, the little dimple he has got on his right cheek but not his left one. The way his eyebrows are smooth. Not pinned together in the center of his head. And the weird thing is? I think I’m falling in love with a guy I didn’t even know. But all I can do is smile back.

“Are you gay? Or something else” I can’t help but freeze, I’ve never been asked that question. I don’t know how to respond. I shakily bring my sweaty hand up and respond with a ‘why?’ He looks confused but doesn’t question. “ so I know who my composition is” he says with a sly smile. I take a deep breath, he wasn’t making fun of you, he’s not going to hurt you. ‘I’m gay’

He looks at me, paused like he wasn’t expecting that , and the with a smirk he breaths “I’m gay to, so don’t get all that scared” I smile and nod. And then we get back on our way to the dorms.

When we get closer to the dorms every step gets heavier, every breath gets harder, like someone adds a new weight to my body every step. When we get to the stairs it doubles, and my mind gets fuzzier every step, I close my eyes and take deep breaths.

Before I was ready I was walking through the doors. When I took a couple steps in I was 18 pairs of eyes on me. I try and take steady breaths, but they come out shakey.

1. In. Out

2. In. Out.

3. In. Out.

4. In. Out-

“KIRI” is all I hear before someone launches them self one me. And now I can’t breathe. I can’t see. I can’t think. I can’t move.

My mind flowed with memories of that day. And what the did to me. How they stomped on my arm until it was shattered, how I screamed for my life. How they all just laughed. How they beat me and almost left me for dead. But the names. They things they said, they repeat I’m my head like someone turned on a speaker and blasted it on high.

Disgusting.

Ungrateful.

Unwanted.

Unworthy.

Trash.

Coward.

Bitch.

Fag-

I can’t feel strong arm’s rapped around me. “Shhh it’s ok, I got you it’s ok, your safe, no ones going to hurt you, shhh”

Bakugou.

Then I remember it’s bakugou. I’m on the dorms. They aren’t here. Bakugou. I start to gain control of my breathing. And that’s when I realized that I was sobbing. “Shh, I know, I know, it’s ok, just breath, just breath, shhh”

Why did I freak out? Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t people touch without me freaking out? Why am I a freak?

“Shhh your not a freak, it’s ok. Being normal wouldn’t make you, you it’s ok.’ Did I speak? That would be the first time in 5 months, right? I can’t really remember. And I couldn’t really bring myself to care.

When I stop crying, I pull away slightly to rub my eyes. While still being in bakugous arms, I can’t bring my self to pull away, I feel so safe in his arms, the only other person that makes me feel this way is my mom, and she’s not here.“I’m going to take you to your room and the make you lunch ok?”

I nod my head, and pull away, he put an arm around my shoulders as if he’s protecting me from them. I hang me head low to embarrasses and scared to look at the class. They probably think I’m weird, or a freak, they probably hate me- “I can hear you thinking. Stop it. They won’t hate you. Your fine. Wanna to know what I did on the first day?” I nod my head, because if bakugou embarrassed him self on the first day of school I’ll loose it!

He huffs a laugh “I walked through the door late as usual, and I got scowled for being late and then I tripped over my own feet in front of everyone and they all just laughed.” I can’t help but laugh out loud doubled over clutching my stomach laughing. It’s the first time I’ve heard my own voice in so long. I miss it. But it’s probably the last time I’ll hear it.

“Yah I know his funny, but you get it? That’s no one’s perfect. But that’s ok” I nod my head and we making my way to my room. There was a comfortable silence between the two of us as if nothing happened. My eyes start to droop, that’s when I realized just how tired I am. I lean more in to bakugou finding his warmth comfortable. The walk to my room was a bit of a blurr. But when I get to my room I flopped on my bed and started dreaming or blond hair and blue eyes. God did I have it bad.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Part one

#kirishima eijiro fluff #kiribaku #bakugou katsuki #bakusquad #bakushima #kirishima eijirou #my hero academia aizawa #mr aizawa #bakugou x kirishima #my hero academy fanfiction #fanfic #my fic

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