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#and he didn’t! and now she’s given up even trying to be understood by anyone!
bestworstcase · 23 days
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…ozma uses fairytales to make sense of himself and the world around him. as beacon’s headmaster he published a collection of fairytales, every one of them about himself or salem, somehow or another. “what is ozpin hiding from us”—the answer is told as a tragic fairytale. ozma heeded light’s warning for years, but everywhere he went, “he heard the same frightened whispers that spoke of a terrifying sorceress who commanded dark powers in the wilds among the beasts and monsters.” it was these stories that led him to her, because he “needed to see what she had become,” and because of these stories he could never bring himself to trust her.
this is how he thinks. how he understands himself and the world. through stories.
We have many questions, and never all the answers we would like. But we do have stories. Whether they’re true stories passed down through the ages or myths defying time itself, our stories help explain who we are and why we’re here. They give us solace when we need it, advice if we seek it, and connections that bind us together as one people. If you don’t believe in stories, if you can’t accept their truths, then you will always seek and never find.
salem knows this. it’s the first thing she says to and about him: legends. stories scattered through time… mankind has grown quite fond of recounting the exploits of heroes and villains, forgetting so easily that we are remnants, byproducts of a forgotten past.
she does not, herself, seem to care particularly for fairytales. certainly she considers ozma’s use of them to be deceitful: “legends and fairytales/scattered in time/maidens and kingdoms/wrapped up in a lie/these children you mislead/you’ll watch them all bleed/strength will not bring victory” & “show them gods and deities/blind and keep the people on their knees/pierce the sky, escape your fate/the more you try, the more you’ll just breed hate/and lies.”
but.
when he told her the truth about what the god of light sent him to remnant to do, she quoted from a faunus myth to articulate her refusal: “and the descendants of our god’s great gift have always carried envy in their hearts. to this day, they resent us for reminding them of what they are not and what they never can be.” -> “don’t you see? none of that matters anymore! why spend our lives trying to redeem these humans when we could replace them with what they could never be?”
and she means that the god of light is resentful and envious and undeserving, that remnant is better off as it is now, that there is nothing to redeem and nothing the god of light told him matters at all—but like.
she expresses this idea by quoting a legend.
one he must have been familiar with, at least in passing, because thousands of years later when he published an anthology of fairytales he went out of his way to include that story (and suggests in his commentary that it is important, that it deserves to be remembered, that it contains deep truths).
salem—who is not, in general, a skillful communicator—upon hearing his explanation of the divine mandate, upon being asked to join him in serving a god she hates after learning that her marriage was built on lies, tried her level best to communicate her objection in his language. by quoting a story.
that isn’t something we’ve seen her do in any other context—in her v1 soliloquy and songs she speaks disdainfully of his legends and fairytales but, in contrast to ozpin and his circle’s habitual use of fairytales to introduce people to the truth, salem never refers to stories to explain herself other than this one time in the lost fable when she asked ozma to reject the mandate light gave him.
i’m upset
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t4tschmidt · 6 months
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hi!! hope you’re having a good day:)
i was wondering if you can write a smut where mike is a nerd in college and the popular girl needs to bring her grade up so he tutors her. she would always flirt with him and make him get all nervous. she repays him by giving him a blowjob and you can add anything else to the story if you want!! thank youu
ooooo i havent written anything like this, thank you for a new idea :D ty for the kind words too i hope everyone reading this day is a good one too <3 (god this is way longer then i meant for it to be)
cws; sub!mike, slight dom!reader, virginity taking, blowjob, gender neutral reader, a little messy
“Have you ever had sex with a girl before?”
The question you ask Mike is completely genuine but he stops writing in his tracks, his face visibly flushing red.
The two of you are studying for midterms (actually, more like Mike guiding you through the subjects) together in his dorm, books and papers strewn everywhere at his table.
“I—what?” He really wasn’t expecting you to ask that and he looks almost nervous.
“Have you?” you ask it like it’s the most casual question in the world, flipping your pencil around in your hand.
“Uh….no,” he looks very embarrassed, it’s cute on him. “I haven’t gotten close to anyone like that before, and no one was particularly interested in the guy hiding behind his engineering book.”
You were quite surprised to learn this, in your opinion he was quite the attractive guy.
“Would you be up for an offer then?” His eyes widened, and he let his pencil slide out of his grip completely.
“What kind of offer….?” He said it, but the implication after the topic of conversation was understood between the two of you, but he clearly didn’t believe it.
“Well I’d really like to do something nice for you in return for tutoring me, we’ve already talked about this but I really wish I could pay you but everything’s going to food and tuition right now and I couldn’t ever ask my parents so I was wondering if you’d let me make you feel good instead?” You said.
His entire face was visibly red now with blush, and his gaze dropped and avoided yours as he processed what you were saying. He seemed in total disbelief, his hands tapping the table which you knew was a nervous habit of his.
“I-um, but I-I’ve never done that with anyone? I wouldn’t wanna, um, somehow do it wrong.” He was incredibly sincere and it was quite endearing.
You leaned back in your seat, trying to catch his nervous eyes.
“I’m cool with that, I could even teach you if that would make you feel less nervous? Think of it as…….a tutoring session. Only if you want too though.” His hands found themselves, wringing and thumbing his palm. He was clearly deep in thought and given permission you wanted to wipe that stress from his face. It would be an honour to teach him, after all the exams and quizzes he’d helped you pass.
“Alright…I think I’d, uh, like that. When?” You smiled at his confirmation of consent, excitement and arousal already beginning to build up inside you. You stood up, walking around the desk and sitting on one of his thighs.
“We’ve been studying for a while now, I think this would be a good opportunity to take a break and learn something new.” You put your hands on his chest, your voice dropping in a suggestive way that earned a shiver out of him.
“O-Okay,” he gulped, finally gathering the courage to look at you in front of him. “What’s the first step?”
You leaned in to kiss his neck and he gasped loudly. “First the ground rules. One, if you decide it’s too much we can always stop, alright? Two, tell me if you’re going to cum. Three, listen to your body, Mikey, tell me what feels good.” You purred into his ear, trying to take things slow so he could adjust to them. He quickly nodded, and you starting leaving light kisses down his chest.
As much as you wanted to grind down on his thigh you had an objective: make him cum. You moved off his lap and he watched you the entire time with a mix of nervousness and curiosity in his eyes. You slid to the floor in between his legs as he was seated at his desk.
Your first step was massaging his thighs, getting closer and closer to his dick. Your hand settled over the fly of his jeans, palming the denim and smirking when you felt the bulge it held.
You began unzipping it, speaking as you worked. “First step is to relax, this parts all about you baby boy.” He felt the urge to whimper and aggressively bit it back.
Just the tiny amounts of friction and sultry words you provided had began to work him up. You pulled down his boxers enough for his cock to be freed, hardening at every touch.
He was fairly big, your fingertips just barely met around it when you gave it a couple experimental jerks. He made a little noise at this, and you smiled.
You spit in your hand, spreading the wetness across his length to make it easier. It was clear he was unuse to his own boner, his mouth agape and his hips beginning to shift in the chair.
You started by giving the tip a tiny kiss, followed by short little licks to the head. You flattened your tongue and swirled it all around the head, running your tongue over his sensitive slit.
This gained an immediate reaction, another little noise escaping his mouth followed by his hands gripping his own thighs. You were barely touching him and he was already panting at the sweet sensation.
You took it a little further, pumping the base and farther into your mouth. You were licking the underside of his dick, dragging hot wet stripes further and further down each time. You were halfway down his length, finally taking it all into your mouth and pushing it in until your lips reached your loose fist.
His pants were evolving into full blown moans, his hand white-knuckles gripping his desk. He spread his legs further, hoping to give you more access. Every moan is music to your ears, coming out in little “hnngs…” and “mmmfng…..”
The tip almost reached the back of your throat and there was spit dripping down your chin, mixing with whatever slick he was leaking. You moved forward and back, your tongue sliding wetly and stimulating him. You repeated this, grinding into the floor for any ounce of your own friction.
His cock was a wet mess, and the sounds coming from your mouth became more and more vulgar. Slick-filled wet slaps of skin on skin as your fist pumped faster and faster and your tongue swirled around his girth.
He was getting closer and you could tell because he was absolutely loosing control of himself. He’d been reduced to drawn-out moans and whimpering at how fast you were going; his hips had also started bucking forward, pushing more and more of it into your mouth until you were almost completely swallowing him.
Your own desperation made it even more wet and messy, you drew back and a long string of precum dripped from his tip to your tongue thinly connected. Your gaze was driving him crazy, the combination of your eyes locked on his and the slurping wet kiss you licked up his shaft again.
When your mouth dove back on it you could tell he was getting incredibly close to finishing. His thrusts were becoming sloppy and so pathetic that it was hitting the walls of your cheek and the very back of your throat.
It was ultimately your groan that sent him over the edge, the vibrations sent through your mouth felt all over his cock and it felt so good, so wet, so overwhelming that he barely had time to whimper “fuck, I-I’m going too—!”
His cock throbbed and pulsed as you licked his slit once more, taking it out of your mouth absolutely cockdrunk. It barely took a single pump for him to explode, thick white ropes bursting from his tip and all over your chest.
His head was thrown back and he was panting hard, his cock head was flushed a pretty pink like his blush and it kept twitching, smaller streams erupting until it came to a slow stop.
Your face was a mess of his hot cum and your underwear absolutely soaked through. His eyes were closed and he was still gasping, sighing as he slowly loosened his grip on the desk as he rode out the end of his orgasm.
“Fuck, holy shit, thank you.” He mumbled, still coming down from the adrenaline of finishing. When he did look down he swore he could’ve came a second time, the way your face was lit up by a smile and absolutely drenched in his sticky white seed.
“Of course, if I wanted to teach you about sex I had to make sure you’d at least get to cum before you made someone else do it,” You stood up, standing close to him and running your hand through his pretty brown hair.
“Tomorrow after we finish calculus, I’ll show you how to eat someone out~”
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title: just a hug?
author: sciencebecameouraddiction
fandom: hazbin hotel
rating: G
genre: Could be read as platonic or romantic. Angst with fluff
pairing: Alastor x reader
summary: You were warned on the first night at the hotel, Alastor has a bubble. A space bubble and it was best you respect that. What happens when Alastor wants you to invade his space?
this is a request from lovely anon:
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When you arrived to the hotel, on the very first night, Charlie warned you that while everyone was friendly, Alastor definitely respected his space and wanted others to do the same. Vaggie had added on that Alastor doesn’t respect others space though and warned you. You understood though and promised them both that you would respect his boundary, as you really didn’t mind physical touch, really. It was just a bit jarring, nothing you couldn’t deal with!
The whole hotel came to realize that you were extremely touch starved, so even casual touches ended with you flinching or freezing, almost like you had no idea how to react to a kind gentle touch at first. The first time Angel came up to you and put his arm around you, you physically jumped off your seat and ended up on the floor. Angel had apologized and you explained it just shocked you. You weren’t used to those casual touches, but you liked them, they were fine. As you got to know the patrons and considered them friends you weren’t as touch adverse.
Finally after a few months, Charlie would run up and hug you in greeting, you squeezing her back so tightly. Angel and you often sat next to each other, his legs draped on your lap or vice versa. Or for movie night, one of you was cuddled into the other, laughing at the funny moments or you hiding in Angel’s chest if it was a scary movie. You even would hug Vaggie, and she would awkwardly pat your back. Even Husk had gotten used to your casual touches, like when you would thank him by patting his arm, or when the loan sharks showed up for Mimzy and you grabbed on to his bicep in fear. Just casual little touches that no one noticed or thought about, except Alastor. Alastor noticed it all.
He saw how you interacted with each of the patrons but how when he was around and would even just go to pat your head, you reacted as if you had been burned. It angered him to no end. He thought it was funny at first, how you were seemingly scared of him. Jumping and avoiding him. But now seeing how you were around everyone else? What had he done?
Was this on purpose? Did you hate him? More importantly, why did he care? Alastor realized sitting in his radio tower that was why he was so affected by this. He cared. He growled at the realization, disgusted. He cared that you, a sinner, wasn’t giving him… a hug? He was disappointed in himself. Ridiculous. Bury it. Bury it. Bury it.
———————————————
This lasted for two days. And Alastor’s final breaking point was when the whole group had been told they had to participate in a trust fall exercise. While you were up there, he prepared himself. He would be the one to catch you. Couldn’t escape then, not like he cared of course. And he did, catch you. You landed straight in his arms securely and he looked down at you with a softer smile than he had given anyone in Hell.
And then you yiped like a dog and some how jumped out of his arms. He was too shocked to even react. Angel caught you and Alastor watched as you stayed in Angel’s arms for a bit and then casually got down, going up to him and murmuring that you were ‘so so sorry’.
“It’s… fine, my dear.” He said as he walked away seething. Charlie called after him saying they weren’t done but Alastor ignored them all as he rounded the corner and disappeared. You looked after him concerned and quickly excused yourself, trying to follow him.
“Where could he have gone?” You ask yourself, going toward the only logical place which was his room and radio room. You knocked on his room door and waited. He opened it and looked down, a foul expression casting over his face as he saw you, the smile never leaving though.
“Yes?” He asks, no pleasantries added. He wanted-needed you gone.
“I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you were okay. And apologize again. I swear I wasn’t aiming for you when we did the trust falls.” You explained, sincerely thinking he was upset because you had broken the one rule you were told about your first night.
“Check on me? I’m fine.” He ground out and turned around going deeper into his room. You took this as an invitation, following him and he shut the door behind you, thinking you were gone.
“Are you sure because you don’t look fine?” You asked and he spun around.
“Who let you in?” He asked, his voice low and dangerous.
“Um, you walked away, which I thought was inviting me in so we could hash this out?” You said, a bit confused.
“Hash this out?” He narrowed his eyes at you.
“Yeah, like work this out?” You said.
“There’s nothing to work out.” Alastor shot back. “You may go.”
“No, you’re upset. And I know it’s because of me and I want to help fix it.” You said adamantly.
“You don’t even want to be near me. Why do you care?” He snarled, getting into your face. You jump a bit back shocked at the sudden movement.
“What? Alastor, you’re the one who doesn’t want to be touched. I was told that the first night I came here. It’s why I’ve kept my distance so that you weren’t uncomfortable. I tend to be a bit clingy.” You explained, a bit angry at how he was reacting. And then suddenly, everything clicked into place. How he was more frequently trying to create those casual touches. Even today, you knew he was at the far back of the group for trust falls and he still had caught you. Meaning he made his way to the front to specifically catch you. And each time he tried to do that you freaked out, shied away, ran away… when you were so affectionate with the others. “Oh.” You said quietly and Alastor just looked at you. Anger still in his eyes but there was something else.
“Do you want a hug?” You ask.
“What?” Alastor said, bewildered.
“A hug. I would like to hug you. Can I hug you?” You ask crossing over to him and opening your arms slightly.
“If that’s what you want.” He said still trying to save his reputation. You smile and wrap your arms around his middle drawing him to you, your head resting on his lower chest. He blinked slowly and wrapped his arms around you. Leaning down and resting his head on top of yours. You both stayed there like that for a bit, you hugging until Alastor pulled away. His cheeks were red and his ears were back and you couldn’t help but smile. Your hand going up to his cheek and bringing him down closer to you so you could gently kiss his other cheek.
“I apologize, I didn’t realize that you wouldn’t have a conniption if I touched you. Just let me know next time, hmmm?” You ask as he blinks at you. You smile and then head to the door. “I’m going back down stairs, but thank you for letting me know how you feel Alastor. I’ll be sure to be as clingy with you as I am with everyone else.” You joke a bit and he smiles.
“Thank you, darling.” He murmurs quietly.
“Of course!” You say immediately and shut his door behind you. You walk down the hall a bit and stop off at room and wash your face with some cold water trying to get the blush that you had been fighting off your cheeks.
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withahappyrefrain · 7 months
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Gin & Tonics (and Parking Spots)
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Summary: In which Venus finally meets the infamous Dagger Squad. The fourth installment of the Parking Spots universe
Warnings: Language, Venus being Venus, Jake being lovesick, suggestive language, Venus has an actual name but it's only used twice
A sea of khaki that reeked of testosterone everywhere one turned. 
It was Venus' worst nightmare. 
She made her way past the crowd of people, avoiding the stares. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know she stuck out like a sore thumb. A "civilian" is what Jake called it. 
Apparently "not a soldier" was too simple for the military. And "wasn't coerced by a recruiter to sell my soul to the US government" was too long. 
"If you get there before me or Javy, just sit by Penny. She's the owner. You'll like her a lot." 
Venus rolled her eyes at her fiancé, "I like anyone who can make a good drink, Jake." 
Jake smiled before pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, “Y’know what I mean. She’ll look out for you.”
“What can I get you my dear?” Venus looked up to find an older woman behind the bar. 
Her green eyes looked kind. She suddenly understood what Jake meant. 
“I’ll just take a gin and tonic,” She shrugged her shoulders, trying her best to appear indifferent, undeterred by the borderline lewd stares. When getting ready, she thought the yellow dress would be a great choice for meeting Jake’s friends. Not too formal, not too informal. It was flattering, but not too revealing. She even put thought into her hair, opting to style it in waves rather than the natural curls that Jake adored. 
“You wore that on our first date,” Jake said softly, a smile gracing his face. 
She lowered the hanger in surprise, “You remember that?”
“Of course,” he reached a hand out to cup one side of her sweet face, “How could I forget?”
She didn’t account for the fact she would be alone for a bit. No, she was far too busy freaking out about meeting her fiance’s friends for the first time. 
Fuck. 
“They’re gonna love you V.”
Perhaps if she had some experience of being in a serious relationship and meeting their friends, anxiety wouldn’t be coursing through her body. She had met a few friends of the person she was dating before, but it was usually at a party where after introductions, she was left alone to her own devices. 
The idea that someone would want to introduce her to other parts of their life, to become a part of them, was new. That they thought she was important enough to do so. Family? Sure. That was a given. But friends? The people you willingly chose to spend time with?
 A whole different ballpark. Though in this case, perhaps turmac was more fitting. 
“Since you’re new, I’m going to need to see your ID hun,” The woman, presumably Penny, said, pulling her out of her thoughts. 
"Of course," She held her head high as pulled her driver's license from her wallet, ignoring the stares, trying to play off her hands shaking. 
If they wanted her to move, they could fucking ask. 
The bartender, who had to be Penny, looked at the ID, a soft smile forming, “Well Danica, I can see why Jake calls you Venus.”
“You…. know who I am?” Great, there was already a preconceived idea of who she was. Before she even had a chance, her fate was sealed. 
What was she known as? The girl who yelled at Jake in a parking lot? The girl who threw bread rolls at him? 
Penny continued to smile, “Of course! Jake is always excited to show me the latest picture he’s taken of you. The flowers you two got from the farmer’s market are beautiful by the way.”
Heat rushed to her face while recalling last weekend’s adventures. Jake insisted on taking her picture by the flower stand. It was strange at first-still was-how his Instagram that had once been only thirst traps workout pictures were now full of her and their adventures together. 
As much fun as it was going through the older posts and giving him hell about it, she loved looking at the newer photos, the ones that showed their journey together. 
“He’s a good photographer, I’ll give him that,” A small smile began to form on Venus' face, her shoulders visibly relaxing. 
“Don’t give him too much. He needs to be kept on his toes,” Penny laughed in agreement, “I’m Penny by the way. So where is the man of the hour?"
Penny handed her a gin and tonic as she explained, "Had a last minute meeting with Simpson. He should be coming soon, as is the rest of the squad from my understanding." 
Penny raised an eyebrow, "So you finally get to meet them! They have been dying to meet you. Been asking Jake about it for months." 
The grip on her drink tightened. 
Jake had a reputation. And with that reputation, came preconceived notions of what kind of girl he would date. 
Venus was not what people thought of when it came to Jake's ideal type. While his family adored her, they all admitted they were surprised when Jake first called to tell them about the woman he met in a parking lot. Hell, even her family was surprised when she described him. They still adored him, loved him, and insisted on serving a traditionally prepared lechon at the engagement party.
But friends were a whole different breed. One willingly chose to spend time with them. Friends were honest, and more often than not, their opinion was highly valued. 
She had learned that the hard way. 
"I mean, she's nice but do you see it going anywhere? I don't." 
"She's really not your type, man." 
"She's kind of a bitch." 
A soft hand gently laid on top of hers, breaking Venus out of her thoughts. Was it motherly instinct or was her anxiety that plainly written across her face? 
She found Penny smiling, "They're so excited to meet you. They already adore you and ask about you constantly." 
They were looking forward to meeting you, she repeated in her head. That means they want to meet you. Adore is such a specific word, Penny wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true. 
She clung onto Penny's words. They were nuggets of truth, a shield against the negative thoughts that clouded her brain. The evidence that those shitty experiences were in the past, that the situation she was in now was entirely different, was better. 
Her therapist would be so proud. 
A more relaxed, genuine smile appeared on Venus’ face, the first one she could recall occurring since pulling into the parking lot of the Hard Deck. 
“I look forward to meeting everyone. I’ll take another gin and tonic when you get a chance!” 
“I got it covered Penny,” a smooth voice said. She turned around, half expecting (moreso hoping) to see Jake, despite the lack of Texan drawl. 
When she turned around, there was no tall blonde with sparkling emerald green eyes and a smile so white, she could see it from outer space. 
Instead, a Hawaiin shirt so ugly that no Dad at a BBQ would go near greeted her. 
Her lips formed a tight line, her eyes narrowing. It was the same look she wore when dealing with annoying patients or annoying men. 
“Welcome to the Hard Deck,” The man said with a wink. His eyes were nice, but the caterpillar that occupied the space between his nose and upper lip was what she noticed first. 
She recognized him immediately. Jake had given her plenty of information so she could recognize members of the dagger squad. 
Bold of him to assume she would just go up to them. But maybe she could have some fun with this. 
Penny gave her a look, one that silently asked Should I tell him? Venus just shook her head, turning back to face the infamous Bradley Bradshaw. 
“How do you know it’s my first time?” She asked coyly with a raised eyebrow before bringing the drink back to her lips. 
“With a face like that? I wouldn't be able to forget ya." Did he also get his pickup lines from the eighties, in addition to his shirts?
Bradlet leaned against the railing of the bar, bending slightly so they were at eye level, “So what brings you here? Besides fate.” 
Her eyes could not roll any harder. How many more lines would it take before he started singing Jerry Lewis? 
“Well, after hearing about it so much, I just had to see the mustache in person,” She responded, moving her drink to her left hand. 
If there had to be a sound that best represented Bradley’s face, it was a record scratch. The best he could respond with was a very confused “Excuse me?”
“I’ll give you credit, you pull off the look pretty well, despite it consisting of a pornstache and clothes from the part of the eighties that even Stranger Things won’t touch.”
“It’s not….it’s not a pornstache.”
A darked haired woman clad in a khaki uniform nearby snorted. 
Venus grinned, “It is absolutely a pornstache. But some people are into that. I don’t get it, but good for you Rooster.”
Bradley's eyes knitted together in confusion,“Do I…..do I know you?”
"I would hope you know of me. According to Javy, Jake talks about me a lot. Anyways, we should become best friends. Jake’s reaction will be hilarious.”
It was then Bradley finally looked down, seeing the huge emerald ring on her left hand.
And that's when it hit Bradley Bradshaw like a fucking train. 
"You're Venus?!" 
It was much louder than she would have liked, the statement causing several people to look at her with curious stares. 
Just play it cool, they all work for the military, you actually do important shit, she told herself over and over again. 
“In the flesh!" She flashed a smile before taking a huge sip of her drink, trying to ignore the fact that another pilot was now approaching her. 
She was going to need another drink to get through this. 
"You're Hangman's girl? The one who told him to fuck off when you first met him?"The dark haired woman asked, practically shoving Bradley out of the way. 
The infamous Venus shrugged, "I didn't exactly tell him to fuck off. I told him it made no sense why he could fly million-dollar jets but was a shit driver. Phoenix?" 
Natasha nodded, “Glad he’s no longer hiding you. I’ve been telling him to bring you around ever since he arrived late to a debriefing with hearts in his eyes as he talked about a woman who referred to him as Hangnail.” 
The comment brough relief. At least one person liked her, at least one person wanted to get to know her. 
Natasha grabbed her arm, “Come on. The rest of the gang is going to lose their minds when they learn you’re finally here.”
Through the throngs of pilots, Natasha led her to a table filled with other men who all looked vaguely familiar. The tight lipped smile remained on her face as she straightened her shoulders, ready to face the (multiple) men of the hour. 
“Hey guys, guess who I met?”
“V! You made it!” Before she could say anything, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist, picking her up. 
“Javy, I swear to God if you don’t put me down-” She couldn’t help but laugh. Just like with Jake, Javy had become the older brother Venus never knew she wanted. 
Knowing Javy would be there was what made her feel comfortable enough to arrive without Jake. Winning over your fiancé's best friend was quite the confidence boost.
Maybe it was the fact he actually made an effort to get to know her. Maybe it was the fact he took all her digs about the Saints in stride. But with Jake, the three of them had become a trio and she didn't mind at all. 
"Hey guys! This is Danica! Aka Venus, aka the one who got Jake to settle down!"
"You really know how to build suspense Coyote," Nat deadpanned before taking a seat next to Bob. Javy lowered her down, her feet returning to the ground. 
"You're Venus? The one he proposed to after eight months of dating?" A man with shining brown eyes and energy that could best be described as a golden retriever asked. 
Her features softened as she looked down at her emerald ring,  "When you know, you know. I also take it you're Mickey?"
"Wow, I guess Hangman talks about us more than we thought," Mickey joked, earning the chuckles from others. 
She looked back up, that signature smirk having returned, "We're also having a long engagement, that was my compromise." 
"That's not what he said," Phoenix scoffed, recalling the different potential venues Jake had already shown her. 
She continued fidgeting with her engagement ring. It wasn’t a matter of Venus being unfamiliar to having all eyes on her. But with Jake's friends, it was different. Another layer of being official that she wasn’t used to. 
"Well, you deserve all the drinks for being able to put up with Bagman,” Mickey commented, as if he sensed her nerves.  
“Bagman?” she asked, a mischievous glint forming in her big eyes. 
"It's what we call him when we feel he hasn't earned being called his proper name, which I'm sure as you know, is most of the time," A man with glasses and a thin lopsided smile that was sweeter than sugar explained. 
Her eyes light up, "Oh, I am definitely using that. Also, are you Bob?" 
Without waiting for an answer, she walked over to the bespectacled WSO, “You’re so cute! I’m adopting you.” For added effect, she placed a hand on each of Bob’s cheeks. 
“Does that mean Bagman is my dad?" Bob asked with an almost grimace. 
"Yeah, but I'll make sure he chills out," She reassured him with a soft smile. 
“Wait, she’s actually nice?” Reuben whispered to Natasha and Bradley, “The way Jake describes her-”
“Look, if she can find redeemable qualities in Bagman of all people, she must have a lot going for her,” Natasha interjected. 
As time passed, Venus found herself more and more at ease with the group. Despite having heard so much, they still took the time to ask questions, to get to know her. They wouldn’t only talk about Jake (not that she wanted them to), and they actually tried to include her in the conversation, despite her lack of knowledge about their field. 
It was different. It was nice. 
Once drinks got low, Venus offered to go get the next round. Bradley followed her, still apologizing for the flirting earlier. 
She chuckled, “It’s totally fine. In fact, I think it’s hilarious that you and Bagman have a similar type,” Her eyes narrowed, “Which by the way, I know plenty of cute, spitfire nurses who are single.”
Bradley’s face turned bright red, “I’m uh-I don’t need any help with-”
“Look, I already plan to find Bob's future wife, might as well find yours while I’m at it. There are people out there who are into what you call a mustache,” She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t get it, but I’m willing to find them for you.” 
It was the way she mixed sweetness with snark that confused Bradley, as well as everyone else. 
“Can I ask you something?” Bradley finally asked. 
“I’m not going to tell you his dick size,” A devious smirk adorned her face, causing her to resemble the image the squad had conjured in their minds when Jake first told them how the ‘future Mrs. Seresin’ referred to him as a knockoff Ken doll. 
“That’s not what-”
“But I will say-”
“Please don’t.”
“You could have named him Hungman and it still would have been accurate.”
“I really, really don’t need to hear this.” Bradley’s face was now bright red, whereas the woman next to him casually ordered the next round of beers and a lemon seltzer for Bob with a grin on her face. 
“You’re telling me the men in the navy don’t talk about their dick sizes? Least of all, the person whose call sign means cock?”
“It’s a bird-”
“That also means cock.”
Bradley stared at her, quite frankly afraid that if he said another word, he'd have to hear about Hangman’s dick. 
She stared right back, able to hold off the impromptu staring contest for a few moments before erupting into a fit of giggles.
When Jake first rambled on about the beautiful woman he had met at a coffee shop, who he insisted was his future wife, Bradley (and everyone else) thought the blonde pilot had lost his damn mind. 
But after seeing her truly smile, Bradley could understand why Jake became so smitten. 
“How….do you two work?” It was an honest question. Javy asked the same thing the first time he went out with you and Jake. She even wondered about it herself when they first got together. 
She shrugged, fingers fiddling with Jake’s class ring that was on a silver chain around her neck, “We just….do. He calms me down. I remind him sometimes it’s better to be quiet and just listen. We both make each other smile and laugh. It’s nice. More than nice. It’s wonderful.” 
Bradley noticed what she was fiddling with, "So that’s where it went.”
“He has a ring of mine that he wears with his dog tags. We traded before he went on deployment.” She shrugged again, as if to suggest it wasn’t a big deal. 
The soft smile on her face suggested the exact opposite. 
Bradley grinned, “Do you know he also wears one of your hair ties around his wrist?”
Her smile only continued to grow, "He says the more pieces he has of me on him, the luckier he is in the sky."  
Truthfully, Venus wasn't sure what to expect when she began dating Jake. Certainly not him being such a romantic. It was strange at first. Why would someone go through so much effort to bring flowers, to make dinner reservations, to plan dates when they already had you?
When Jake scoffed at the very idea of not needing to impress it was the first time she truly reflected on previous relationships and just how shitty they were. 
"Baby, they were awful," Jake pressed a chaste kiss to her shoulder, "You deserve so much more than what you've gotten." 
A hand on your shoulder broke you out of your thoughts. 
"I think I just saw that Jeep Wrangler you love so much just pulled up," Natasha teased. 
She rolled your eyes, despite a small smile remaining as you shook your head, "I hate that fucking car." 
"I'm glad someone else agr-"
"Bradshaw, don't get me started on your car choices." Her eyes narrowed as she shot him a look. 
Only she got to insult that hideous car. 
Bradley promptly closed his mouth, not wanting to face her infamous wrath. 
He was still reeling from the Pornstache comment. 
So instead, he simply helped her carry the round of drinks back to the rest of the squad. 
"So Venus, what does the woman who made Jake Seresin lovesick do?" Payback asked. 
"I'm a level three neonatal nurse at the local hospital," she explained, "Which is partly why it's been so hard to meet y'all. My schedule can be pretty irregular." 
The table was quiet as they processed this new piece of information. When they first heard about her, they couldn't help but imagine a cutthroat business woman, a manager, a consultant. 
Not a nurse. Particularly one who dealt with children. 
"So you um, you-" 
She set her glass down with force, "I do not play with babies and change diapers all day. My job is to keep premature babies alive and ensure they're able to go home with their family and live as healthy of a life as possible." 
Her voice was tense, no doubt due to past dismissive comments regarding her job. 
Bob shifted closer to her, "I think that's amazing. One of my sister's kids was born at 28 weeks and she still swears to this day that if it weren't for y'all, she would not have been able to keep it together." 
Her shoulders visibly relaxed as a smile formed on her face, "I like you Bob. I'm going to keep you." 
Mickey spoke up, "Hey, wait a second. My girlfriend Cielo and I have already put in a request to adopt Bob." 
She put an arm around Bob's shoulder, shaking her head, "Nah, I call dibs." 
"We knew him first!" If one didn’t see the gleam of playfulness that laced Mickey’s amber eyes, his tone would sound completely defensive. 
Bob finally spoke up, "Just a friendly reminder that I'm thirty one years old." 
She turned to the soft spoken WSO, "Which is why I am determined to find you your Missus." 
"Get in line, Cielo and I have been working on that." 
Natasha snorted, "We've all been working on that." 
Bob signed, putting a palm to his face. 
"Hey V, I think your man just walked in." Maybe it was fate, maybe the universe took pity on Bob. 
But when Venus looked up upon hearing Reuben's words, her heart skipped a beat. 
There he was. 
Jake was over at the bar, waiting for Penny to take notice of him. No doubt ordering gin and tonic, along with a basket of fries for Venus. He always made sure she had something to snack on. 
"Wanna see something?" She asked the gang. 
Without waiting, she put two fingers to her mouth, a loud whistle coming out. The noise caught the attention of several people, including a blonde man with eyes greener than the emerald that adorned her engagement ring. 
When Jake's eyes met hers, her heart skipped a beat. His eyes lit up, a smile overtaking his face. 
"Hi loverboy," she called out with a wave. Oh she tried to smirk, try to play it off as if she was indifferent to the sight of her fiancé. 
But Danica's eyes told a different story. 
"Venus!" Jake called out, getting even more attention. Not that he noticed. He was too busy practically shoving folks out of the way to get to the table. 
Maybe she picked up her pace to meet Jake. Maybe Jake knocked a drink over as his hands placed themselves underneath her thighs, allowing him to pick her up in one swoop. 
It’s not like either of them were paying attention. 
—-----------------------------------------
To say Jake Seresin was annoyed was an understatement.
His day had started out so well. He got to wake up not on base in a small, old twin bed, but instead in the arms of his fiancé. 
Then he had to go to work. 
Jake loved his job. He was damn good at it- one of the best, in fact. He enjoyed being at work, which was something many couldn't say. 
But not when his job caused him to be late, unable to be with the woman he loved, especially on a night where she needed him the most. 
Normally, she would have already met his friends before Jake proposed to her. But thanks to the nature of his job, which involved spur-of-the-moment missions, he had done things a bit backwards. 
If it weren't for the nature of his job, Venus could have met the squad back when she only had the title of girlfriend. 
Sure, she still would have put pressure on herself, as was in her nature. But decidedly less pressure. 
Jake wanted to be there for her, to reassure her that she was in fact, the most incredible person he had ever met and that his friends would see that immediately. To put a hand on her shoulder whenever he saw that smile begin to fade, self doubt creeping into her mind. 
Which was why he was all but running into the Hard Deck. His meeting with Cyclone lasted much longer than intended. Normally Jake wasn’t super concerned about showing up late to the Hard Deck, but today was the worst day it could happen. 
Deep in his heart, he knew she would be just fine. At worst, she wouldn’t approach the squad until Javy arrived and would stick by Penny. 
Jake just wanted her to feel comfortable, to feel at ease. He wanted to support her, like any decent husband would. 
So yeah, maybe he was taking advantage of his status, knowing that no one would say anything if he pushed past them without a single excuse me. Jake knew his great grandmother was rolling in her grave, but he hoped Mimi would understand all in due time. 
“Hey Penny, have you happened to see an absolute goddess with an affinity for gin and tonics?” Jake asked once he arrived at the front of the bar, ignoring the glares. 
Penny simply smiled, "I think your friends found her. She was also pretty low on her beverage last time I saw her." 
"Well, we can't have that. I'll take a Miller Light, along with a Gin and tonic with a basket of fries." Jake recalled that she had texted him around two that she was on her lunch break. He doubted she had much time, if any, to eat when she got home from work. 
Order fries first, then find the love of his life. 
If only the bar wasn't slammed. 
He was trying his best not to be impatient. It wasn't Penny's fault, the Hard Deck was always like this when a new class arrived to base. 
But damn was it frustrating. The minutes seemed to tick away. Jake looked around, unable to spot his fiancé amidst the sea of khaki. 
Until he heard that whistle. 
He looked around, Bradshaw finally moving his bigass head to reveal the person that made his heart soar. 
She was sitting with the rest of the gang, smiling. She looked at ease, as if she had always been a part of this crew. 
Jake knew this was possible, that she had it in herself to open up and connect, rather than sit at the bar and wait for him to come. 
But sometimes she forgets that she can. 
So when Jake doesn't need to remind her, he can't help but beam. 
"Hi loverboy!" His heart fluttered when she sent him a wink, along with her smirk that he fell in love with the first time he saw (it also made him hard but that's neither here nor there). 
So yes, he did gently push some people out of the way to get to the table. And he did knock a drink over when he went to pick her up. But in Jake's defense, he hadn't seen her since seven-thirty in the morning and it was only Bradley's drink. 
"Hi baby," He said as he pressed his lips to her cheek. 
She rolled her eyes, though the smile still remained on her face, "You act like you haven't seen me in forever."
"Because I haven't," Jake murmured against her skin, "It's been ten hours." 
"Ten hours?" She repeated, her tone teasing, "You're incorrigible." 
"I don't know what that means, but thanks V," He said before pressing his lips against hers.  
Before Jake, she wasn't used to PDA. It wasn't a matter of not desiring it, she did. But none of her past relationships were into it, so it wasn't something she pursued. 
And then she met Jake. Jake, who would just grab her hand without saying anything. Jake, whose natural inclination was to wrap his arms around her. Jake, who would make the effort to kiss her, even if he was just passing by to get a drink or to unload the dishwasher. 
She liked it. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face as his lips moved to her nose, then forehead. 
"Can you put me down? You're looking a little desperate GI Joe," She teased, quickly placing a chaste kiss on his jawline. 
"You like it," He whispered in her ear, gently setting her back down. 
"Debatable," She rolled her eyes, trying to fight back a smile as Jake pressed another kiss against her cheek. 
"Debatable?" He questioned, "The ring on your left hand says otherwise sweetheart." 
Venus looked down at the ring, "I guess." 
"You guess?" Jake hummed, his arms now wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on top of her head. 
The noise and chatter of the Hard Deck slipped away when she looked up, meeting his emerald eyes. She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back a lovesick smile. 
It was no use, as it came out anyway. 
"Oh my God they're adorable," Bradley whispered to Natasha, stunned. 
"What the hell is happening?" Natasha whispered back, equally as stunned. 
"I think they're…in love?" Mickey didn't sound too sure of himself, if at all. 
"Of course they are, is it not obvious?" Bob practically scoffed. 
"Careful," Natasha teased, elbowing Bob playfully, "Think she still wants to adopt you. Remember who your dad would be." 
—------
The rest of the night wasn't anything unusual, save for Natasha, Bradley, Mickey, and Bob asking Venus questions while Jake, Javy, and Reuben played a round of pool. 
"So he listens when you tell him to shut up? Like deadass?" Mickey asked. 
She raised an eyebrow, "He listens to me regardless of what I say." 
"I don't believe it," Bradley started, "We can barely get him to listen to us and-" 
"Hey Jake?" Venus called out, remaining in her seat. 
Jake looked up from the angling his pool cue, his eyes lightening up when they met hers, "What's up darling?" 
"Do you think Sammy and Jess deserved to win Love Island?" Bradley couldn't help but scoff at Venus' question, there was no way- 
"Jess did, because she had the best personality of that season and was actually likable. She would have won regardless of who she coupled up with," Jake explained as he briefly looked back to his aim, "Unfortunately she was stuck on Sammy, who did not deserve to win, dude's a fuckboy if I've ever seen one. Is your drink empty?" 
The squad wasn't sure what was more shocking, the fact Jake had been able to make a perfect shot without looking again, or how focused he was on another person's needs. 
Venus, oblivious to this confusion, raised her empty drink, "I am! Can you get me another gin and tonic please?" 
Jake immediately set his pool stick down, ignoring the confused cries of Javy and Reuben as he went to Venus to give her a kiss on the cheek and pick up her glass. 
"What did you just do?" Mickey asked as soon as Jake headed over to the bar. 
Venus shrugged, "I asked him for another drink. I got his last drink, it's only fair." 
"But he was in a middle of a game-" 
"The less you think about it, the less confused you'll be," Javy explained, cutting off Reuben. 
Javy had long since learned that Jake's focus was now all things Venus. He was pretty sure once Venus became pregnant, she would be able to pry Jake away from a Texas football game. 
"How do you get him to listen to you?" Bradley asked, stunned. 
"I love her," Jake scoffed because wasn't it obvious? The only people who didn't seem confused by all this were Javy and Bob. 
Jake now understood why Venus wanted to adopt the bespectacled WSO. 
"So what are we? Chopped liver?" Natasha remarked, a teasing glint in her eyes.
"He just loves y'all a little less," Venus teased, taking her drink from Jake's hands. 
Bradley scoffed, "Dude, I was your bunkmate." 
"Yeah but did you give him blowjobs frequently?" Venus asked, unaffected by the number of aviators who nearly choked on their drinks. Jake could feel the tops of cheek heat up. 
"Well, depended on-" Bradley started, much to the delightful shrieks of Natasha, Javy, and Reuben. 
"Alright, it's time for us to go pick a new song," Jake stated loudly, practically pushing his fiancé to the jukebox. 
"You're finishing that story later!" Venus called out, pointing to Bradley. 
"Only if you convince him not to play Free Rider!" Bradley called back.
Jake dragged away his fiancé, who was now laughing at the antics of his coworkers. 
He couldn't help but smile at the sight. She was beautiful like this; eyes squinting, cheeks round as she smiled, skin glowing,  not having a care in the world. 
Jake would do anything to keep that smile on her face. 
"I get to pick," She said, taking the quarter out of Jake's hand. 
"Why do you get to pick?" Jake teased before placing a kiss against her temple. 
"Because it's my first time here," she started, because wasn't it obvious? "Plus, I want Bradshaw to finish the story."
"You're really about to give Bradshaw what he wants?" Jake put his hand over his heart, "V, that's the most offensive thing you've said to me." 
Venus simply raised an eyebrow as she scoffed, "That's the most offensive thing I've said to you? Compared to all the other stuff? Compared to what I said when we first met?" 
"I thought it was charming," Jake was completely sincere, which Venus didn't know if she should find that cute or concerning. 
"I think you liked being called a Ken doll," she muttered, looking through the list of songs. 
Jake wrapped his arms around her waist, nestling his head on her shoulder, "I liked the woman who called me a Ken doll. So much so, I plan to marry her." 
Her teeth tugged her bottom lip, a tall-tale sign that she was flustered. She didn't blush, but Jake had learned the signs; she would bite her lip, her lashes would flutter. Her hand that wasn't pressing buttons on the jukebox drummed against the machine, looking for something to do. 
"I love you," he whispered. The declaration made her head turn, allowing Jake to steal a kiss. 
"Could have just asked."
"Where's the fun in that?" He pressed his lips against a heated cheek, leaving tiny kisses. 
Her eyes softened upon looking up at Jake, "How did the meeting go?" 
He squeezed the soft flesh of her hip, "Cyclone thinks I have a decent shot at the instructor position. And that I would be a good fit." 
The statement caused her eyes to light up. Jake could see that she was trying to hold herself back, trying not to get her hopes up. 
"So he'll write you a letter of recommendation?" 
He grinned, showing off his pristinely (and blindingly) white teeth, "Him and Mav." 
"We stan a short king." She said it half in jest, purely to see Jake's brows knit together in confusion, the five year age difference showing. 
"Is that a Tik Tok reference?" 
She stifled a giggle as she shook her head, "No. But you're getting there!" 
"You make me feel so old," Jake sighed. He thought he was doing so well, until Venus informed him that Instagram reels were just Tik Tok videos shown two weeks later. 
She pressed a kiss to his cheek, "So you think you have a shot at it? The position?" 
Before meeting her, Jake would have scoffed at the suggestion he wouldn't get something. He knows who he is, what he's capable of. 
But he doesn't want to let her down. To disappoint her. They both know what this position would entail; permanence. Not having to be deployed on missions. Not having to be away from her for months at a time. The ability to settle down with her. 
"I think so. Cyclone says I have the track record to prove I know the material and I now have the temperance to show I can teach it well." 
She grinned, "that's the most polite way to say you're no longer a cocky asshole." 
Jake wiggled his eyebrows, eliciting another soft giggle from her. 
"Are you sure you're okay with this? If you get the position?" She asked, biting her bottom lip in an attempt to hide her nerves. 
When Jake first brought up the idea of applying to the instructor position, she thought he was joking. Why would someone give up the chance to travel around the world, playing the role of a real life superhero? 
But then he kept bringing it up, announcing he was going to apply. When questioned, Jake said it was simple.
"Getting that job means I get to stay here, with you." 
That's what he said then and it's what he said now. 
"Besides," he added, "the chances of me becoming an ace are low. I'm more than happy to be the only one with two confirmed kills in my generation." 
Venus' eyes narrowed at him and without breaking eye contact, she pressed a button on the Jukebox. 
The notes of Queen's I Want to Break Free filled the Hard Deck, which was followed by the sounds of the squad clapping and thanking Venus. 
"Babe!" Jake nearly whined, putting his hand on his heart, "Really?!" 
"Oh please, you absolutely deserve that." Venus stated before walking towards the bar. 
Jake all but ran after her, grabbing her closest hand. 
"So is now a bad time to tell you that today I parked within the lines?" 
Venus stopped, her eyes slowly turning towards her fiancé, "Both lines?" 
Jake nodded, a proud, albeit cocky smirk adorning his face. 
She took a step forward, her face now inches apart from Jake's. 
"You know," her voice was low, "If you want me to fuck you, you can just ask." 
Jake visibly gulped, the smirk fading as heat rushed to his face, "I mean I, uh, I always want you to-" 
"Did you take a picture of it? Your parking job?" She rested her chin on Jake's head, wrapping her arms around his waist. To others, the gesture was very sweet. 
But Jake could see the desire in her eyes and it was making his knees weak. 
"It's um, how I parked outside of here-" 
"I want to see it. And then I want to go home and fuck you," with that, she was walking towards the door, her fingers hooking themselves around one of Jake's belt loops to ensure he followed. 
Not that he needed encouragement, he was already trailing right behind her. 
514 notes · View notes
ellievickstar · 8 months
Text
Deserving
Summary: You are left empty and alone by your mate, are you really so undeserving of love? Or is it that you have waited for the same person for too long?
Request: N/A
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: Self-harm, mentions of alcoholism, so much angst.
~*~*~*~*~
It had been days since you last saw Azriel.
Days of waking up late and going to bed later. Your correspondence between the inner circle were limited and you slipped into a period of complete and total isolation. Maybe it was all too much, maybe it wasn’t enough. But you curled into a ball on your bed everyday, the same scene ringing in your head, over and over and over again, as if it were on a loop.
When was the last time you had actually spoken to anyone else?
That thought was quickly relinquished as a soft but firm knock was against the door. You knew that knock. Groaning you approached the door of your apartment, one that you barely lived in but owned anyways in cases like these. Only four people knew about this place. Azriel, Rhysand, Cassian and…..
“Mor, I wasn’t expecting you,” You masked the numbness from the past few days with a smile. “Cut the bullshit Y/N, you know better than to try and pretend with me,” Your friend deadpanned as she swept past you into your living space. Rolling your eyes, you closed the door behind her as you slid to the floor, drearily groaning.
“How do you know?” You asked carefully, making sure that your voice didn’t crack as you felt the waterworks rise up again. You were more that surprised that your eyes hadn’t dried out by now, considering the fact that you had cried non stop during the first day of your pity party. Mor softened slightly, she had set to picking up the various pieces of trash scattered around the apartment, and she paused, her back facing towards you as if she could. not bear to relieve the news.
“They announced it just now, during dinner. Azriel and Elain are officially together,” Smirking, you shook your head, but tears rolled down your cheeks as you choked out another sob. “I take it Lucien didn’t take it well,” Mor snorted at that
You hadn’t drank, not a sip. You had already gone three years sober after you had turned to alcohol because of what you had gone through under the mountain, how you had followed Amarantha’s orders to be used by the males as she pleased. Shuddering at the memory, you lay down on your side on the floor next to the door.
“I’m proud of you, for not…going back to it,” Mor offered. However, you just closed your eyes. It wouldn’t have mattered if you had gone back to alcoholism and self harm again, you knew you could resist the pull for now, but if you had given into the pain a part of you was more terrified you would not be able to get out of the habit once you spiraled.
Eventually, Mor helped you up, she asked you if you wanted to go to the House of Wind so she could monitor you better and Rhys could help with coping with the ache, but you declined. You could not let Azriel see you like this, especially when he would feel so guilty for….choosing Elain. Memories flooded back as you recalled what had happened.
You had finally found the courage to tell Azriel, your best friend, that he was your mate. And when you did he had looked at you in the eyes and said that he could not handle a mating bond at that moment. You understood, of course, that he may need space, but it was not until later that you caught him. You had caught him kissing Elain.
And yet, you had not rejected the bond yet.
Feeling down to that part of your soul, you grasped that line of the bond that felt like there had been a veil placed over it. It was as if the bond had sensed that you were slowly giving up. Perhaps it was a blessing that Mor came to confirm the news, perhaps it was a blessing that the bond had seemed to dull in the past few days.
But even as Mor asked if there was anything you’d like to tell her, you could not bring yourself to tell your friend of the ache on your abdomen, the scars that you had inflicted on yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to show her the slashes and marks you had sliced across your skin in various areas, as if punishment for being so unworthy that your own mate would prefer another female over you.
~*~*~*~*~
Another five days passed before you finally dragged yourself to a family dinner. You made sure to a loose blouse that was long sleeved paired with a long flown skirt that you could twirl in to dance should Mor decide it was a good time to take you outside dancing.
Silence seemed to settle over the table as you entered, you smiled as you approached Cassian, he smiled at you as he motioned for you to sit on his left while Nesta sat on his right. Thankfully, Mor sat on your other side while Azriel sat diagonally across the table, out of your view if you tried hard enough. Sweet Elain was beside him as she whispered and he smiled. You wanted to physically gag seeing your mate like that with another, but you shut down the feeling immediately, ensuring to make a shield tailored around the bond so that he would not be able to feel a single thing from you this evening.
You smiled at Feyre as you caught up about any recent books you both had read, Nesta joining into the conversation occasionally, once you kicked Cassian when he laughed about how it was not romance books but just two people screwing each other and breaking up and screwing each other again. Nesta also kicked him, hard.
Rhysand cleared his throat as he spoke to you, grabbing your attention. “So, Y/N how has it been? You’ve been gone for a while, and when was the last time i saw you in long sleeves?” A flicker of understanding suddenly shone in his eyes as he realised. Cassian seemed to pause as he shot a look at you. Indeed, the outfit you wore was far more conservative than anything you had worn in the last year. The only time you had worn such modest clothing was…..
“Y/N, show me your arms,” Cassian said softly. You stopped as you looked up at him, looked around at the table as all of them watched your expectantly. Mor looked like she was in near tears and Elain and Nesta seemed to be unsure what was going on. Feyre looked like she was being filled in on what was happening as she glanced between Rhysand and you. Shaking your head you stood up, ready to walk away.
“As your High Lord, I order you to stop. As your friend, I’m telling you to trust us,” Rhys’s voice rang out and you cursed as your feet planted to the ground. Slowly, you inched up your sleeve to your elbow, and there it was.
Elain gasped and Mor had a tear running down her cheek. Amren soberly looked at you, understanding showing in her eyes. Rhys seemed to recoil and Feyre looked away. Even Cassian looked like he had nothing to say.
There on your forearm was cuts, over and over and over again each other. They were red and barely healed, all fresh. They were supposed to be healing, but you used a vial of Faebane and to slow the process down. You needed to savour the pain.
It was Azriel who asked, “Why?” You eyes fluttered to him, your voice turning cold. “You know why.” And with that you turned to leave. Maybe it wasn’t fair to him. Maybe It was selfish. But you just couldn’t bear it anymore.
You stormed down the steps of the House of Wind. You didn’t have the strength to summon your wings anymore. You didn’t have the strength to do anything. You didn’t care that the guards were watching as you choked out sobs as you stumbled down the stairs, eventually sitting down and facing the sky, praying to the cauldron to released of this horrible pain.
Your head fell in your hands and darkness engulfed your figure as you winnowed home.
~*~*~*~*~
Azriel’s POV
Azriel just sat there, shadows danced around his fingers as they tried to stretch away from him towards her. Not the female that he had convince myself to love, but the female who had run outside, the female who he could hear stumbling down the stairs of the House of Wind.
He wanted to go to her, wanted to comfort her ad tell her everything was fine, that it would be both of them against everything, just as it always used to be.
But how could he do that when he was the very person who had caused her sorrow?
Feeling Cassian’s eyes on Azriel, he demanded an explanation. Azriel should have known this would come, that he would have to face the reality of what he’d done, that he would have to face the regret and guilt that he had been trying to avoid, figuring out how he could possibly fix this on his own. Rhys himself was circling around Azriel’s mental shields, letting me know that if he didn’t want to say anything he could let Rhys in and Rhys would explain for Azriel’s thoughts to the others.
He didn’t deserve their kindness.
“Y/N…is my mate,” Azriel said softly. Cassian swore as he looked towards Elain, then glanced towards the door of the House of Wind where his friend had stumbled outside. Azriel winced, Cass might kill me, he and Y/N had grown up together and had known each other way before me and Rhys, they were almost siblings, and Cass was fiercely protective of Y/N.
Mor was quiet, Azriel would bet a good amount of Rhys’s coin that Mor already knew. It surprised him that Cass didn’t know, but knowing Y/N she likely didn’t tell him because she didn’t want Cass to worry, unluckily for her, Cass would have gone knocking at her door if she had missed just one more family event. After all, it was not like her to miss anything, it never was.
He looked to Elain, and she looked at Azriel with complete utter…he couldn’t place his finger on it. But as she stood up I could barely hear her words over the roaring of my ears.
“I have seen so much, and so little. But now I think it’s time I finally confessed. I knew this would come. I saw that eventually Azriel will come to face the reality that his mate was another, so I will break off my relationship with him. I bear no ill will towards him, I just wish I hadn’t basked in his attention, when I knew another was suffering,” “Suffering!?” Cassian exclaimed, he shot Azriel an accusatory look, “When the hell did you find out she was your mate?” Azriel grew quiet.
“Three days before I announced my relationship with Elain,” Azriel admitted. Rhys shook his head and Amren held a look of distaste. Cassian looked like he wanted to punch him square in the face but as he shot Nesta a look, she nodded and he was out the balcony immediately. He was probably on his way to her apartment, to do what Azriel should be doing, being by her side when it should be Azriel. A sense of possessiveness seemed to rise in him but Rhys slammed against his mental shields.
“You will not act like a territorial brute, what you have done to her is unforgiveable, and now all you can do is give her space. I know it can be hard given her situation, but I promise the rest of us will take care of her, it seems like you need to take care of yourself first and ask yourself why you would do something so stupid as to choose another female over your own mate.”
~*~*~*~*~
You were in your kitchen cured up, you dagger lay a few feet away from you as you pressed your palm against your mouth, muffling your sobs. You heard someone enter but you did not care. If they were an intruder they could kill you, end your misery, perhaps your prayers would have been answered. That was when Illyrian wings came into your view, causing you to hold your breath until Cassian’s face came to view.
You were about to get up, smile and maybe play broken but healing friend — when really it was just broken — until he left, but a flash of brilliant red hair came into view.
Lucien.
Glancing at Cass, he shrugged, I thought you might want someone who could understand what you are going through.
Smiling, you greeted Lucien, he only smiled softly, clearly trying not to look the blood tainted dagger at his feet, trying to avoid glancing at you arms, now on full display as you had changed to more comfortable shirt and shorts.
“I’ll be fine, you didn’t have to come,” You said softly. Softening, Cassian pulled you into a huge bear hug as you grunted. Holding you there for a few seconds he then shit over you onto the couch, where Lucien sat next to you.
After an array of smashing and clashing in your kitchen, Cassian came out with cookies and….coffee. “Gosh you know me so well,” You groaned as you sipped on the coffee that probably had too much sugar but you didn’t care, you took a cookie and ate as you curled up and continued to snack. Lucien smiled slightly and Cassian plopped onto an armchair in the room.
Everything was spinning, and you groaned as you curled up further into the couch, silently wishing you could disappear.
“Does it ever go away…this emptiness?” He stayed quiet at my question. Sighing, I knew I already had my answer. Though Elain never directly rejected the bond, Lucien had always suspected that she would never warm to the idea of the mating bond, he had seen for himself how Elain had looked at the spymaster with far more adoration than she had held for him.
“I just- it feels hollow. And I feel like I’m drowning and empty at the same time,” You choked, shaking silently, “It hurts so much and I can’t, i just can’t do any of this. I’m trying so hard to think that maybe this will all go away, that I will push through this and I will be okay, then I sit down for a second alone and these thought come back to just fuel me again and it overwhelms me. And I spiral again.” Tears continued to flow and you were surprised as Lucien wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. Holding you there, you cried into Lucien’s chest.
"I don't understand, why would he, hurt me like this. I watched him unconditionally love and fight for Mor, I was so naive to think he'd fight for me too. And now that I see him with Elain I can't help but wonder if I am really so undeserving of my own mate's affection."
Lucien listened and his presence brought you comfort. It made you feel….less alone. And as both of them said goodbye that night you felt reassured.
Maybe it would be okay.
~*~*~*~*~
Months passed and you managed to learn how to avoid Azriel at all cost. You showed up to family outings but never spoke to him and kept close to Lucien as he promised to accompany you. And once a month, you and Lucien would go out and you would drink your sorrows away mournfully. Well, he drank while you sipped a cup of water and tried not to recoil at the stench of alcohol that you had grown to despise.
You had done so well avoiding your problems until Rhys ordered you to do research, with Azriel.
“Can’t I do it with someone else?” “I’m sorry, I know the situation isn’t ideal but there are no records of anything like this existing, if you are ever going to find anything on these creatures, you’ll have to use Azriel’s shadows to scan the bookshelves quicker.” Gritting your teeth, you realised there was no way out of this situation.
Later that day you met Azriel at the library in the House of Wind. Once you acknowledged him, you walked swiftly throughout the library as you read through titles after titles of many books, occasionally passing one or two to Azriel to hold on to so you both could look at them at greater detail later on.
“Y/N I-” “I’d appreciate if we only spoke when necessary, I know you wish to discuss what occurred between us but I believe that there is no need. You made your feelings clear, I have nothing to say anymore, and I have no reason to blame you for following what you thought was right at the time,” You cut him off. You didn’t need the next few hours to become awkward, and he seemed to get the message.
Or so you thought.
The first hour passed with no luck. And you groaned inwardly as you realised the both of you would be here for a while.
The second hour passed and Azriel and you had set into a steady pace where Azriel would go around collecting books he could find while you studied them, you felt like your eyes would fall out from how much boring information you were reading.
The third hour you were ready to call it a day and leave the rest for tomorrow.
And when the fourth hour struck, you found it. Everything Rhys would need to know all in one book. It had been tucked away, hidden from view in between the bookshelves. No one had ever found it because the library wasn’t cleaned in those parts since the books were so ancient, the priestesses were afraid the books would fall apart from the slightest touch.
Cheering, you jumped up and laughed as you stretched your whole body. You needed food, desperately. It wasn’t until you heard that same chuckle did you finally reign yourself in. Smiling politely, you picked up the book and tried to rush out the library, but not before Azriel’s voice once again reached your ears.
“Why can’t you give me another chance?”
Pausing, you sighed as you spoke, your back still facing him as you couldn’t bear to face him, to face the reality of what happened between the two of you.
“Because even now, after all that’s happened. I can’t do it. I can’t help but love you even if I try my hardest not to. Because even now, after all that’s happened, I can’t help but think that you would still choose her. Because I know that you wouldn’t have left her, if she hadn’t left you. And it breaks my heart that even though I am bound to you for the rest of eternity, because maybe if I could choose too, it wouldn’t be you anymore.”
“Why?” Azriel asked, you could hear the desperation in his voice, but you could not let him in again. You watched him love Mor, loved him enough to wait until he was over her, watched as he broke your heart and left you, knowing that the both of you are mates.
“Because, Azriel, I deserve to be loved too.” Nodding, as if trying to convince yourself of this as well, “I deserve to be loved too.”
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: oof. So, I'm gonna let your imagination take the wheel. If enough people want part two i guess? But I'm probably not gonna :D
taglist: @positivewitch
Part 2 out here!
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weasleykisses · 4 months
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You’re So Pretty III (Remus x Reader)
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A/n: Remus wants more than anything to kiss you, but he just cant. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but avoiding you is even worse. (Also, note that reader in this is shorter than Remus since he’s like 6’2 canonically. Im really sorry if you’re taller than him)
Word count: 6.2k
_______
Sirius had snatched her up from the couch and spun her around in so many circles she felt dizzy. The skirt to her dress swung back and forth. Music from the old, muggle record player rang out in the common room. Y/N couldn’t stop laughing. She moved so gleefully, barefooted on the carpet to keep her from falling over some clunky shoes.
James was dancing with Lily, and Y/N felt her chest inflate with a bit of pride. For James getting the girl he’s always been dreaming of, and for Lily finally facing her biggest fear of loving that mischievous boy.
She felt light as air. The spiked hot chocolate running through her veins, the smell of peppermint and pine needles in the air, and the flickering light from the fireplace behind her. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard, nor could she remember a time she felt this alive.
Remus sat on the couch, not a drop of liquor running through him. He preferred to stay sober anyway, just to make sure everyone made it out unharmed. He couldn’t help but stare at her though, Y/N L/N, with the most beautiful smile he’d ever laid eyes on. She was dancing with Sirius, as her friend twirled her around and dipped her backwards a bit, causing a squeal to leave her lips.
The two of them looked so incredibly happy to be with each other. Remus felt like he was intruding on their privacy just sitting there taking a peek. The way she smiled so brightly at Sirius, her cheeks flushed and her corners of her eyes crinkled from smiling so much. He could hear her laughter and the way she yelped and clung to him when he dipped her a bit too far back.
Remus was convinced that those two belonged together. They had such a strong friendship. It ruined his mood whenever he saw them so close with each other, not having come to terms with his eventual heartbreak no matter how hard he tried.
When Sirius let go so he could go pour himself another drink, Peter was quick to jump in his place, taking Y/N by the hands and dancing back and forth to the upbeat song. Peter was always quite shy around girls, but Y/N made him feel comfortable. She was just so soft and sweet, kind to a fault. Remus Lupin understood why everyone was so endeared by the girl.
Y/N didn’t mind his furry little problem. Despite all his fears and his doubts, she promised him time and time again that she didn’t mind that he was a werewolf. She would sit in the infirmary for hours just holding his hand and telling him jokes, trying to cheer him up the best she could given the circumstances.
Every time he looked at her, he felt a pang in his chest. Something so strong he thought he might be having a heart attack at times. She would gaze at him with that dreamy look in her eyes, and he would positively melt under her glance, under her smile. She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.
She was too good for him. Y/N was pure and innocent, never one to get in trouble or hurt anyone else. He was a monster, that much was clear enough. He could harm her if she ever found a way to interfere with his transformation. She might be okay with things now, but if they got any closer, there was a good chance he might chase her away. Still, it was tempting to stand up and wrap his arms around her to dance just like his friends did.
Yet, he wasn’t them. He wasn’t a harmless flirt like Sirius Black, nor was he a quidditch star and hopeless romantic like James Potter, he wasn’t even friendly like Peter Pettigrew. He was just himself, the guy who turned into a beast every full moon and injured himself horribly every time. He was the guy who had scars all over his body, certainly too ugly in comparison with her smooth, soft skin.
So he buried his nose further into the novel he was reading and tried not to think about her. He tried to tune out her contagious laughter, and the beat of the songs. Godric, he tried.
She clutched at Peter’s hands and swung her hips to the music. Even through her slightly tipsy haze, she could feel tension running off Remus into the common room. His hesitation was palpable. Quietly, she excused herself from her dance with the short blond boy, saying she was just gonna get another shot before returning.
She made her way to the coffee table in front of Remus’ seat on the couch. She poured a bit of hot cocoa into her mug and just enough fire whisky for a kick.
“Remus,” she hummed, taking a seat beside him. He shivered at the touch of her thigh flush against his. She was so warm. Her fingers tapped at the edge of his novel, urging for him to shut it.
“Y/N,” he replied, watching as she took a sip of her drink and sighed, feeling that familiar burn in her throat. “Taking a break for a minute?”
“I suppose, but I came over to see you. You don’t seem like you’re having a good time,” the girl told him softly, “Don’t you want to dance with us? Or at least with me?”
His heart skipped a beat at her question. Yes, he would very much want to dance with the girl of his dreams, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was just so afraid of messing up.
“I’m just people watching.”
“Oh, come on now. I promise I won’t laugh if you step on my feet,” she giggled, poking him gently in the side. “I’d love to get at least one dance in with each one of you. I’ve already danced with Sirius, Peter, and Jamie. You’re the final piece of the puzzle.”
“Sweetheart, try as you might, I’m not getting up to dance around, even if it is with you.” She felt her heart skip a beat at the nickname. Sure, everyone had names for her, but coming from the dirty blond felt so much more enchanting. She loved when he called her sweetheart, darling, or love. Maybe he used the same terms with other girls, she didn’t know, but she still felt special regardless.
She grabbed the book from out of his hands and stuck the bookmark in between the pages to save his spot. Quickly she took another sip from her mug before extending a hand to him. “Please. For me, Remus,” she asked.
His heart couldn’t say no, even if his brain was begging him to. He took her hand in his, which normally he wouldn’t think so much about, only now he felt like his skin was burning up.
He just liked her so much. He was completely, madly in love with her.
Marlene stood by the record player, looking through Lily’s collection of vinyls, finally deciding on one. Her eyes found their way up to Y/N, where she winked with a little smirk on her lips. The expression confused her for a moment until the record started playing a much slower song than the previous one.
That snake. The betrayal she felt from her friend was too real.
She turned to peer up at Remus, giving him an awkward grin. “We can wait until the next song if you like. This one is more up James and Lily’s alley,” she said nervously, trying not to make it weirder than it already was. Her hand had slipped from his to fiddle with her other hand, picking at her chipping nail polish.
He knew she was right. Maybe they should wait until the next peppy song. Only, he really didn’t want to. He wanted to pull her close to his chest, hold her hands, and twirl her around. Remus shook his head, taking her hand back in his.
Her heart was racing. He wanted to dance with her. Even if it was awfully romantic, he still wanted to. For a moment, she felt hope building up in her chest that this crush she had on him wasn’t unrequited after all. She still smothered down the thought however, considering it more of a fever dream than the truth.
She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, while his gentle hands sat on her waist. Everything around her was so overwhelming, the touch against her waist, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, the feeling of Marlene and Dorcas staring from their place at the record player. Her eyes couldn’t meet his, instead peering down at her feet.
He took that opportunity to gaze at her; how bashful she was, the way her cheeks were flushed and her nervous smile, her gaze focused down on the floor no doubt because she was embarrassed.
How could she be so comfortable around Sirius for dozens of songs, yet so nervous when it came to a single dance with him? Did she not want to dance with him? Was he too close? He didn’t know what was going through her mind, but naturally his brain went to the worst case scenarios before the positive ones.
“Did you have a fun time tonight?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah. It’s been great. Wish you’d joined the festivities a little earlier though,” she commented, “I know you’re not shy.”
“I just liked seeing everyone happy together. That’s more than enough.”
She nodded, agreeing with him. He was also so observant, watching everyone while they fooled around. He never instigated pranks, but you could bet he was there watching from the side. He was always there trying to make things better for everyone. There were so many things to appreciate about him, like how he offered her chocolate when she was hurt, or when he would sit in the Astronomy tower with her when she was crying.
“I want to see you happy, too,” she told him. “You’re always looking out for everyone else, but what about you?”
“Just being with you is enough,” he confessed, but quickly corrected himself, feeling a bit too awkward with that answer, “With all of you guys, of course.”
If only he’d have kept the first statement, she thought. Of course she wasn’t special like that. She didn’t brighten his day, not like the others did. She was the least beautiful of all the girls, not the smartest either. Remus liked smart girls. Ones that would sit and read with him, study together, talk about random things for hours. She wasn’t that smart, not like the Ravenclaw girls.
Lily was still dancing with James as she peered behind Remus, and Sirius was trying to get Marlene to slow dance despite her opposition to the idea. Peter sat at the table drinking another cup of hot cocoa, but his eyes would trail up every now and then to his group of friends, noticing things about everyone. No doubt the boy noticed the way Remus was staring down at her with puppy love in his eyes, or the way she was now stumbling a bit on her feet as the nerves got to her.
It was wonderful, she thought, as his hands held onto her waist a little tighter, as if she was going to blow away in the wind. Everything was so perfect. The twinkling of the lights around the room, the wreaths with mistletoe hanging from them, the big Christmas tree towards the center of the room lit up with enchanted candles. The windows were frosted over from the snow that day, and she could see the individual snowflakes sparkling when the light hit them just right. It was beautiful.
Y/N was beautiful.
He wanted to kiss her. He never wanted to kiss anyone more than he did right then as the girl pressed her body closer to his so they were rocking back and forth. His heart beat against her ear that rested on his chest, and he prayed it wasn’t racing.
He reached down, tilting her chin up with one hand, the other still wrapped tightly around her. Finally, she had to gaze up at him instead of wandering the room.
It felt like he was going to kiss her. She couldn’t think of anything else. By Godric, she wanted to be kissed by him. It would complete what she already thought was a perfect night. To finally get a kiss from the boy she’d come to fancy far more than she should.
“Rem, what is it?” She whispered. He felt himself leaning closer, but paused before he could go any further.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything really. Yet, no words came out. He just stared at her e/c eyes for a moment before a wave of guilt washed over him.
He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be holding her so close. He shouldn’t be falling in love with her. He didn’t deserve to. A monster, that’s all he was. A disgusting and dangerous beast. Even if she disagreed, it wasn’t fair to her. He hated that his friends helped him with his problem, and he hated even more the thought of Y/N getting swept up into it as well.
He dropped both his hands from her body and took a step back, his eyes now glued to the floor. “I don’t know what came over me, Y/N. I should go.”
As if she could keep him from leaving, the girl grabbed his hand. It broke her heart when he tore his hand from her grip, walking over to the table and grabbing his book for the night.
“Remus, I’m sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I’ll fix it. You don’t have to leave,” she tried to reason with him, practically begging for him not to go. She felt like she’d fucked everything up somehow, made him uncomfortable. She knew it was a wrong idea to dance to this song with him. To try and make something that was just friendly into something romantic.
He just sighed, shaking his head. “You didn’t do anything.”
She watched as he walked up the stairs to the dorm rooms, listening to the door shut and the handle click into place. Her shoulders slumped and she caught the eyes of Marlene and Dorcas by the record player, seeing their sympathetic expressions.
It was okay if Remus didn’t like her back. She wouldn’t have a problem with that. It just hurt to know he didn’t want to do something as simple as dance with her. It hurt to know that he grimaced when he looked down at her. That the sight of her made him want to run away.
She suddenly felt sick. With a thud, she plopped down on the couch beside Sirius and Peter, picking up her mug to take a long sip. “Mind pouring me another, Siri?” Y/N asked, holding out her cup to him.
“Y/N, Moony really didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just confused,” Sirius tried to reassure her, but she only shook her glass, waiting for her drink. At least she could get so drunk she forgot about everything that happened. The raven haired boy poured her another shot.
“It’s okay. I don’t even know why I’m disappointed. We’re only friends.”
Peter looked at Sirius knowingly. Everyone knew except for her and perhaps Remus, but he was good at picking up on things. She didn’t want to be friends, but she couldn’t just ask him out. It was too intimidating.
“Listen, you’re a great girl. Any guy would be lucky to have you, you know that, right?” Sirius asked her, and Peter was quick to nod in agreement.
“I don’t like Remus.” That was a blatant lie.
“Well, if you did, don’t give up on him. He’s rough around the edges, but he really is a good guy.”
She knew he was a good guy. That’s why she fell for him in the first place. He was so kind and charming. Remus was so smart too, leaving her swoon whenever he tutored her in something she struggled with.
She tried to hide her expression, looking off to the floor away from the boys. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, and she bit her lip to hide her quickened breaths. It was always hard accepting the fact that Remus didn’t like her, not in the way she liked him.
“Oh no, angel, please don’t cry,” Sirius pleaded, noticing the way her eyes had begun glistening with fresh tears. He raised his hand, one lifting her head softly while the other ran a thumb across her cheeks, brushing away the droplets that fell. “I promise, it’s going to be okay.”
“Then why does he do that?” She asked, quite pathetically. She appreciated Sirius for talking to her about this, and chose to keep her secret safe and sound. “He leads me on and then runs away. Does he not realize what he’s doing?” She wiped the tears from her eyes but they were quick to gather again. Remus had to make everything so difficult sometimes.
She was so confused in how she felt. On one hand, she absolutely, without a doubt, loved Remus Lupin with all her heart. On the other hand, she felt like giving up. Time and time again he made her feel special, made her feel loved and cared for, only for him to correct himself. He would leave her standing there, crestfallen and thinking she had done something wrong.
A sob escaped her lips, and she was quick to latch onto Sirius. Her hands clutched at the back of his shirt while she pressed her face into his collar. She just cried while he brushed down her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. She could count on the Black to be there whenever something happened between her and his best mate.
“Y/N, you’re a catch if I’ve ever seen one. Don’t let ol’ Moony bring you down,” Peter tried to soothe her, reaching up to place a hand on her knee.
“He doesn’t deserve you, angel,” Sirius muttered against her head.
Despite his soothing, she kept crying until she’d run out of tears for the night. She bid Sirius a goodnight before heading into her dorm. She curled tightly into a ball once in the comfort of her own bed. In her hands was Remus’ sweater, which she hugged to her chest. She was such a dumbass for getting attached to an emotionally unavailable boy.
The worst part is, no matter what he did, she still loved him.
____
“You absolute prat! You’ve got to stop fucking with her feelings,” Sirius scolded after entering their dorm room and shutting the door so anyone left lingering in the halls or the common room couldn’t eavesdrop. He glared at his friend who laid in his bed with a pillow covering his head.
“Leave me alone, Pads,” the boy groaned, refusing to move the pillow from his head, instead hugging it tighter to his face. A part of him wished he could smother himself and make all of this end.
Sirius rolled his eyes, walking over to his own bed and sitting back against the headboard while his feet stretched toward the end of the bed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t have to make her cry.”
“She cried?”
“Yeah, not that you stuck around to see it. She thinks you hate her. That you’re disgusted by her,” Sirius told him with a scowl. He was awfully protective of the girl, finding her shyness adorable and her excitement for the little things in life to be admirable. It sucked seeing her chasing after someone and having her heart broken time and time again.
He’d never tell Remus that Y/N had a crush on him. That wasn’t his place. However, he wouldn’t let Remus get away with treating her like shit while they were “just friends”.
Remus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, finally tearing the pillow off his face and letting it drop to the floor. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Maybe bloody kiss her when you’re clearly thinking about it. Ever thought of that?”
“And if she doesn’t like me? Then what?”
Remus was still convinced Y/N had a thing for Sirius. She was always smiling when she was with him. She let him flirt with her all he wanted and he noticed the way her face flushed when he was particularly bold. He noticed them hanging out when no one else was around. He noticed all of it, and it hung over him like a storm cloud. Genuinely, it made him feel so isolated. His best mate and the only girl he’d ever really cared for like this, together doing Godric knows what.
“Then you go back to being friends. Does she seem like the judgemental type?”
“No, but it would be awkward.”
“Only if you make it awkward.”
Remus sighed deeply, rolling over on his side to face his friend, his head propped up in his palm. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t be with her.”
Sirius already knew all about what Remus was talking about. He had droned on about it before, how he was so afraid of him being a werewolf and being in a relationship with anyone, much less Y/N. “Don’t start with the self-deprecating shit, mate. You know she doesn’t care if you’re a werewolf or not.” It was a pretty lousy excuse if you asked him. “She loves you, Moony.”
“She does not love me,” Remus argued back, confident in his reply, more confident than he was in most anything in the world. She loves you, he wanted to say. The thought was headache inducing, making him sick to the stomach.
And that was the end of it. No matter what Sirius said, it all went right through Remus. He was determined to keep this girl at arms’ length, even if it tore him up inside to do so. She was just so lovely. She plagued his every waking thought when she was in the room, or even when someone simply mentioned her. Yet, she didn’t care for him that way. They just happened to be friends.
Not to mention the boy was far from blind when it came to love, like the ones he read about in his novels. The looks and touches he’d seen between Y/N and his friend were remarkably full of love and care, something she didn’t have with him. If only Sirius could see that, maybe then he could be the one to make her happy. Instead, he was here lecturing him on how to make Y/N happy. Perhaps if he wasn’t such a flirt, none of this would even be a problem.
He just groaned into his pillow and shut himself out from the world around him, no longer responding to what Sirius had to say to him. He was done. He was done with all this nonsense. All this romance bullshit, no matter how much it made his heart race or the gears turn in his mind. He was done.
______
Only, that was harder said than done when seeing her in person after that night.
She continued to be lovely, friendly, normal - only now he could sense the waves of sadness and discomfort that poured off her person when the group hung out together.
Her heart ached since Remus ran away from her. He had done similar before, but she always forgave him. He was complicated. He was secretive with his emotions. That was one of many things she’d come to respect about him after knowing him for so many years.
She cried that night, and when the other girls came to bed, they comforted her. She didn’t have to tell them what happened. They already knew. It seemed like everyone around her knew about her crush on him.
But life goes on, and she woke up the next morning to the rest of the girls getting ready for class. She pinched her cheeks to bring some life into them, and watched as her smile turned up in the mirror, making sure it was as genuine as it usually was. She was a strong girl, and one incredibly handsome and charming boy was not going to bring her crumbling down. She’d done enough crying.
Sitting next to Remus at the table was far from comfortable, but she was able to do it. She just leaned a little bit further into Sirius’ side than she normally would, something that made Remus feel more defeated than anything. He had given up on pursuing her, almost entirely, only the remnants of his heart still yearning for her. As he watched the way she cuddled up on him, it wasn’t hard to see she found comfort in the raven haired boy.
He could only sigh to himself, dipping his spoon into his porridge for another depressing bite.
She also talked a bit more with James than she ever would in one sitting, with the two of them having so little in common. She took the time to compliment all the girls on their hair and makeup that morning. She talked to Lily about their Potions class that afternoon, and the book she had propped up in front of her. Anything to keep herself from having to discuss with Remus what happened that night before. Anything to avoid talking to him in general, actually.
Breakfast went by slowly, as did their Transfiguration class where Y/N sat in her normal seat beside her friend, who she desperately wanted to be more-than-a-friend. She tried to think of a way she could find herself escaping this terribly unfortunate situation involving unrequited love. She could confess to the boy on the off chance he actually did reciprocate, but that seemed highly unlikely.
She could try and find someone else to fancy for the rest of their seventh year, but she doubted that would happen. He was just so perfect, no one else would compare. No one looked like him, nor did they sound like him or smell the same. There was no one as intelligent as him besides sweet Lily, and she certainly wasn’t going to fancy the red headed girl.
The only option seemed to be just living with her crush until it naturally went away. As miserable as that suggestion seemed, it was the most sound of all her ideas.
She found herself so distracted that she didn’t even notice when McGonagall called on her, “Miss L/N, please do answer the question.”
The seconds passed like minutes and she found her mouth growing dry from embarrassment. How could she be so careless? She almost never zoned out during class, much less found herself being challenged by a professor. She wasn’t lovestruck like James, was she?
Just as she was about to admit defeat, Remus tapped the edge of his notebook. Written down was the word, “avifors spell” which she quickly found herself repeating aloud.
“Thank you. Please pay attention, everyone.”
An exhale of relief left her lips, and she peered over at Remus with grateful eyes. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ and he just nodded with a small smile.
She tried to ignore how he made her feel the rest of their day together. When they studied in the library because it was a Thursday and they weren’t going to break their schedule, she tried smothering the butterflies that fluttered. She felt his soft gaze trained on her as she stared down at her homework. She tried her hardest to swallow her gasp when he leaned over her shoulder, his face dangerously close to hers, pointing out her mistakes on the worksheet. She desperately wished she could ignore the smell of parchment and chocolate wafting off his body as he spoke to her.
“Y/N? Are you alright?” he asked, breaking her from her daze. She nodded, quickly marking the paper where he had questioned one of her answers. “We can stop for the day, if you want-”
“You’re probably right. I feel like my brain is totally fried from all this studying,” she replied quickly, shutting her textbook and setting her quill on the table beside her worksheets. She was dying to finish up this study session so she could crawl back into her bed and pretend that she didn’t spend the first half of the day with her massive crush who definitely didn’t like her back.
He furrowed a brow, having thought the day’s session had gone by quite fast. He didn’t like it. Usually she sat with him for a good hour or two just discussing the day, talking about books and gossip and whatever else she had on her mind. Instead, it seemed she was running away from him. He should have expected that though, knowing what he had done the night before.
Regardless, he packed up his belongings right alongside her, making sure the last of his inkwells was thoughtfully tucked away before motioning for her to follow him out into the hallways. With a ducked head, she followed him, not wanting to seem weird going her own way when they normally would walk back to the common room together. She tried to ignore the shivers that went down her spine when their fingers skimmed against each other walking side by side.
If she were brave, or maybe stupid, she would have reached out to hold his hand. She itched to touch him. To feel him pressed against her again like the night before when they danced together. God, she just wanted to hold his hand. It wasn’t crude or vulgar at all, but she felt so inappropriate - so wrong for wanting him when he clearly wasn’t interested in her.
Perhaps he could sense her trepidation, or maybe she was just very obvious in how uncomfortable she felt, but he cautiously approached the topic, “Darling?” he asked quietly, with all the sincerity and care he normally displayed.
She couldn’t deny the skip of her heart at the sweet nickname, one of many that he used for her. Whether she was his dove, love, or darling, it made her heart jump. “Yes, Remus?” she replied, stopping and turning to look back at him, craning her neck up to meet his eyes, his gorgeous eyes that caught the sunlight coming in from the windows, honey brown and golden.
“I can tell something is wrong,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck and fluffing up his hair nervously.
“Really, it’s okay-”
“No, it’s really not,” he said firmly, Sirius’ lecture from the night before running through his mind. He thought of her crying when he ran off to his dormitory, feeling like shit after being abandoned like that. He thought of her that morning at breakfast doing her best to ignore him, biting her lip to keep the frown from reaching her lips. He continued, “I’m so stupid. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel unwanted.”
Unexpectedly, Remus reached out, taking one of her delicate hands in his own, running a thumb along her knuckles. She stood there as calmly as she could, but her heart was beating a mile a minute and she prayed to Godric that he couldn’t tell from her expression. He was too busy worrying about his own racing heart and sudden dry mouth to notice anyway. “I was scared.”
She asked, so quiet it was a wonder he even heard her, “Scared of what?”
He took a deep breath before explaining himself, drawing her towards the corner of the corridor, away from prying eyes. She felt herself grow even more flushed, knowing they were tucked in this secluded little corner while he held her hand so carefully in his own. She had that familiar feeling creep up and sink its fangs into her, daring her to act on thoughts she shouldn’t be having. Thoughts that entailed reaching up on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Thoughts of grabbing his cheeks in her hands and pulling him down to meet her halfway.
The heavy grandfather clock at the end of the hall ticked as time slowly passed, and she waited with baited breath for him to reply.
“Scared of how much you mean to me. You’re my best friend, Y/N. I know you’re a smart girl, and you’re incredibly brave, but you know I have my problems…” he tried to say.
“Remus! Shush. You know that means nothing to me. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”
“Which is exactly why you’re blind to the reality that I am dangerous, and I don’t want you getting into harm’s way,” he argued back as she stared at him, her eyes glazed over with something he didn’t quite recognize. “I’m worried about you. I care about you so fucking much, Y/N.”
“But-”
“But, the more time you spend with me, the closer you get to seeing the worst parts of me. That’s what I’m scared of.” He paused, his chest lifting heavily and falling back down. “I need you to understand that. I-I need you, and I can’t keep you if I scare you away.” His words shook, and she felt his hands begin to shake as they held onto her own. She clutched him a bit tighter, trying to calm him down.
She swore her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest at his words, those desperate words that fell from his lips. It was almost like he was telling her he loved her. Almost.
But they were only best friends. He’d made that clear.
“I care about you, too, Remus. I’ll do whatever is best for you. That’s what I want.”
“What’s best for me is that you’re happy and safe.”
She flushed at his words, finding herself growing hot in the face and lowering her head to hide her flustered expression. He had such a way with words, one that made her positively swoon. How did he not notice? He was awfully charming and romantic for someone who seemingly refused to even try and date.
The words hung off his lips, waiting to fall out in the open after all this time. I love you, he wanted to say. I love you so fucking much it hurts, he wanted to cry. Yet, he couldn’t do it.
He peered over her shoulder at the walkway, catching sight of James and Sirius walking down the corridor towards them. He motioned in their direction, and quickly he dropped her hand, taking a modest step away from her. With confusion and hurt in her eyes, she looked back to him as the blood drained from her cheeks. Was he embarrassed to be close to her around his guy friends? Was holding her hand that serious of a crime that it warranted such abruptness?
Much to her displeasure, she was caught off guard when Remus seemingly bumped her in Sirius’ direction, actually causing her to stumble into the dark-haired boy and latch onto his arms to steady herself.
She turned back to peer at him, questioning what he was doing, only to find his eyes glued elsewhere. He stared at the broom that James held in his hands, the one he was excitedly talking about. His eyes were clearly just there so he could avoid her gaze, one that flashed with heartache. That boy sure had a way with breaking hearts, she thought, feeling herself beginning to fall limp against her other friend.
“Why hello, angel,” Sirius laughed, helping her regain her footing. The laughter from his mouth, however, was awkward, and his eyes flashed nervously between Remus and Y/N as they had come to do so often recently. He sensed the tension, and he noticed the sadness that plagued Y/N like a rain cloud perpetually above her head. “Not interrupting, are we?” he asked cautiously.
“No, we were just talking.” But he knew that was a lie. James seemed to be the only one oblivious to the situation at hand. She frowned, her eyes leaving Remus and lifting to find those of her concerned friend. “Hey, Sirius, James.”
“Hey, guys. We were just heading to the dining hall for lunch. You coming with?”
“Sure,” Y/N said, but Remus had other plans.
“Actually, I have somewhere I’ve got to be. I’ll see you at dinner though,” Remus said, waving to his friends as he took a few steps backward. The three of them watched him go, and when he finally turned the corner, Y/N let her shoulders drop heavily, a sigh leaving her lips. So much for the little moment they were having before.
He certainly had a habit of running away when she needed him there the most, didn’t he?
Part Four is out. (Honestly, as I write this I’m finding myself rooting for Sirius a bit ngl. Should I do two endings, one for Sirius and one for Remus perhaps?)
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rookiesbookies · 5 months
Note
Hi, I really love the greek gods au for the boys, could I request some more hcs for them?
I was lowkey so excited to have an ask! Welcome Anon! I appreciate you! You have braved my inbox and im super excited to have you!
I saw you ask and wrote this as fast as I could with some of the other ideas for them that swim around my brain.
Let me know what you think!
Masterlist is pinned on my account as always, and my inbox is open!
Price
He had Hephaestus forge him a special razor so he could always keep his mustache in check after an incident where he tried to use a human razor and broke it.
He wears human clothes, he does have his godly robes but he prefers to wear something that may be comforting for whatever sacrificial woman he has at a given moment.
Has debated no longer accepting the women as sacrifices
for a long string of time the women were just the horniest ones or the village prostitutes. While they were nice for a week or two he did end up finding them homes elsewhere
Gaz says he fosters women like cats.
Price isnt looking at fostering anymore though. This most recent accidental sacrifice has by far been his favorite. She’s so warm, causes no problem, and isn’t like the last one he got who owned 8 cats.
Price likes cats, just not 8 of them.
He also worries Zeus will try to take his woman
Which is why the woman is hidden and protected by Price’s powerful shield from anyone who tries to creep on her. He doesn’t want his woman threatened by Hera.
Hera already knows he has decided to marry this one, as the goddess of marriage and is probably the most proud of him compared to Zeus’ other bastard children.
Soap
He most often wears his godly armor instead of his robes or human clothes.
The human clothes are really only to go see Price, the robes are really only for relaxing in his house, but the armor is for working.
He has to really just follow around his dad, Ares
He doesn’t know his goddess mom, and Ares wont tell him. Honestly he questions if he’s even Ares because the relationship isnt very father-son, they’re more just like Coworkers
He says his mom is probably Aphrodite but who knows
He spends most of his time with Simon.
Simon is relaxed and comes to work with him sometimes. Usually accidentally causing a cold breeze with his presence.
Soap linda digs the dark robes, he hates how shiny his white ones are.
Definitely hides amongst humans when he gets pent up or frustrated from work.
Gods are so demanding in bed, he’d rather have a human.
With Price looking like he’s going to settle down with his newest sacrifice, Soap thinks about finding his own woman. Price’s helps him cook and clean and look like she’d take it with no problems. Soap kinda wants that now
Ghost
He’s a very antisocial god.
Price has tried to get him to loosen up.
Price has offered him the best of some of the sacrifices that he didn’t get along with.
Simon just hasn’t shifted.
He buddies around with Soap, says its because their work is the most similar.
In reality Soap is the one person he favors the most. Keegan is also up there, but he’s no Johnny.
He never understood why Price took the sacrifices of women. He doesnt bother with the mountain god who gets on his nerves. He loves Gaz but his social battery just dies.
He doesnt see anyone loving that.
Not to mention, he’s the god of Winter. His fingers are cold, his robes are a dark black instead of a beautiful white because he’s from the underworld, and he spends a lot of time down there as well.
He refuses to kidnap a woman how Hades had. Says he had standards and is too attractive for that. Tells people he’ll get a woman when he wants one.
Persephone worries about him. Persephone wants a daughter-in-law who can bring her cold son out of this.
Even Demeter worries, and she loves when he visits. She has no more work when he comes into town, she just wish he didn’t reek of death from the underworld.
Konig
You think Konig was tall at somewhere between 6’7” and 6’10”? Now he’s like 8 feet tall.
He’s probably the loneliest of all of gods, he lives at the top of his mountain (which is kinda like the one of Olympus where it was kinda just a glorified hill) and doesn’t get much company, unlike the 141 group.
He does wear a veil because of his anxiety, being a lonely god makes you self conscious, what if all the other gods are much more handsome?
He wears robes, unlike the 141 group, he doesnt try to blend in with humans so he only has his godly robes.
He doesnt often get sacrifices either, since his altar is at the top of the mountain. Its why he doesnt intervene when the war people come often.
If only there was a way to sacrifice someone to keep him company, he’d never need much more again.
Especially with Atlas holding up the world.
Zeus told him he was born from a single drop of Atlas’ sweat hitting the ground.
Konig has never met Atlas. So he wouldn’t doubt he maybe is secretly a Zeus child? However he doesn’t mind not being a Zeus child. Hera doesn’t give him problems and he likes it that way.
He cooks, he cleans. He’d do anything for someone to spend a bit of time with. He might start scoping out the local village and town again. Last time he was disappointed by all the interesting ones being taken, so he stayed at a distance. But maybe he’d try again.
Keegan
Work is always calling Keegan.
As Thanatos says, “humans wont stop dying, birthing, fucking, or breathing”
Keegan doesn’t disagree.
He has black robes, similar to Ghost’s as they’re both from the underworld. He has spent a great deal of time with Simon as he has to deal with people suffering from hypothermia in the harsh winters.
Simon doesn’t cold shoulder him like most others. Compared to the gods from the underworld, Keegan is quite friendly. He just knows people dont live forever.
Or he hasn’t learned Price can protect humans and living things from death yet.
He has a solid relationship with Thanatos. He cant complain especially next to Soap’s and Price’s situations
He hasn’t ever really spent time with the 141 group because he’s worried he’ll have to get up and leave randomly due to his job.
He also doesn’t have human clothes like they do. He often wonders where they came from.
His home is in the underworld, so he worries about a human living there if he ever were to take on a bride.
Maybe he’d find a nice goddess like Hades did. But Price makes humans seem so nice.
He just worries he wouldnt be home enough to care for his human or he’d have to take his human to work to make sure she got enough vitamin D… i mean he can always gives you vitamin D but it’s a different vitamin.
He’s also worried about touching a human because what if he accidentally kills them or something ridiculous like that?
Too many risks. Maybe. Unless someone is brave enough to prove them wrong.
Gaz
He saves a lot of dropped babies from serious damage. He never shows himself, always stays invisible to the human eye, but he saves a lot of babies.
Also saves a lot of kids. Toddlers and young children fall quite a bit.
He has the whitest and cleanest and shiniest robes btw
But yeah he loves saving kids. Especially when he can show his form because adults don’t believe kids anyway.
Especially if they say they were saved by a god.
He also saves quite a bit of animals. Like bird eggs.
He just prefers saving kids.
He thinks they’re really darn cute.
Wouldn’t mind a few of his own
Doesnt help Hermes keeps teasing him though.
Hermes never misses a chance to remind him he came from him jerking it on a cloud and letting it fall to the earth.
Hermes thinks its really funny.
Gaz wouldn’t hate a partner. Nymph, Human, or Goddess.
He’s taken a couple of them to bed and has to say Human is his favorite.
Did he mention he saves a lot of kids?
Would you, maybe, like to save his, perhaps, for like 9 months?
Krueger
Sebastian makes Konig’s world a bit less lonely? However isn’t the most wonderful company.
Definitely defiles the virgins of random towns near by.
Has fun telling them he’s a god and was sent by their towns patron to defile them
Lowkey Hera had to ask if he was one of Zeus
He was actually carved from clay and given gifts from gods
Artemis made him a skilled hunter, Hades made him a quick thinker, Athena gave him tactical knowledge, Ares gave him strength, Apollo gave him impermeable skin, Zeus gave him a big dick, Eris gave him wild anger
The usual
His job is not terribly demanding and has quite a bit of free time to spend with Konig
He has big dark armor and a giant axe. Definitely has a lot of fun with it
his dream is to get a temple of his own and his own priestesses who would do his bidding and pray to him their city doesnt go on a hit list for the gods
He also dreams to get a virgin sacrificed to him.
He isnt greedy like Price when it comes to women, he just wants one. One is all he would need.
He’d never need to go around defiling random virgins anymore, he’d just get to have his virgin at home.
He’d love to have his own servant. He’d treat her well he promises. He’d love an embarrassed virgin for himself.
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
Note
hi! i love your works so much and i have a request ^^ i wanted to ask if you could do a jealous and/or possessive eddie? maybe where steve and eddie are super close to finally admitting they like each other and just need one more push or something, or they're just newly dating. they're both at a gay bar, and steve's been receiving lots of stares and heated gazes from some of the ppl there? maybe a person was brave enough to try but eddie's right beside him watching the entire interaction.
i've come across a fair share amount of jealous/possessive steve in steddie stories and i wanted to see it being eddie for a change. tysm in advance and i can't wait to read the other requests with your amazing writing <3
I LOVE possessive Eddie!!! I really only see it in Kas!Eddie or vampire Eddie situations and I wish it was written more for just regular old human Eddie who just has entirely too much love for Steve to contain his emotions when someone else tries to make a move. I hope you like this little thing (2500 words!) I came up with and the other requests I've been putting out so far! - Mickala ❤️
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Robin convinced them she needed support.
Support Steve’s ass.
She was doing just fine from the moment they stepped in the door of this place.
So fine, in fact, she’d abandoned him and Eddie before they even got their first round of drinks brought to them.
Steve sat at the table with Eddie, awkwardly watching as people kept dancing and drinking and making out in dark corners of the bar.
He tried not to look too much, though. He didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t comfortable here.
Quite the opposite, actually.
He’d been here a couple of times with just Robin: once before he figured out he was into men, once before he figured out he was into Eddie, and once more before this where he tried very hard to be into Eddie and failed.
But Eddie had insisted on coming when he overheard them talking about it, saying he hadn’t been here since high school and could use a night in a place where he could just be himself.
As if he wasn’t always obnoxiously (and beautifully) himself.
Robin had given Eddie a Look, but nodded in agreement, saying it would be awesome to have both her favorite guys there.
Which rubbed Steve a little wrong because he was her only favorite guy.
But he got over it because now Eddie was his only company, probably for the entire night going off of the way the girl with Robin was staring at her.
Ogling her.
Steve sighed. Eddie sighed.
They looked at each other and laughed.
“She do this to you every time?”
“No, usually we stick together. Must feel brave since you’re here with me.”
“Awww, she trusts me.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but there was probably more truth to that than he cared to admit.
Robin was often afraid to leave him alone, but she never hesitated if Eddie was with him.
He felt people staring at him, but he ignored it. He wasn’t here to find anyone and it would be silly to even try knowing that Eddie was right there.
But he’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel good to have people checking him out. He used to thrive on it in high school, feeling seen by anyone was better than being seen by no one.
Then, he hated it. He wanted to be invisible and he wanted everyone to focus on anyone and anything else in the room. He got his wish most of the time.
Until Eddie.
Eddie always included him in everything, pointing out when he was being quiet or moody, asking him questions to involve him in conversations, making sure he understood what Dustin was saying which was a challenge often.
He would touch his arm when he passed by him on the way to grab a drink from the kitchen or let their thighs touch on the couch on movie nights.
He let him come over after work on the nights he was too riled up, needing to let out some of his energy with a walk, but being too scared to do it alone.
So Eddie saw him, and made others see him, and he didn’t always love it, but he accepted it.
Tonight felt different, though.
All these eyes on him meant that people found him attractive, maybe wanted to dance with him or bring him home. If Eddie weren’t here, he’d maybe give it a shot with someone, try to find a way out of this hole he dug himself into with the first guy he’d admitted to himself he had feelings for.
But he also felt Eddie’s eyes on him, practically burning a hole through the side of his face every time he looked out at the crowd.
He felt heat crawling up his neck, to his cheeks.
Having all of Eddie’s attention was a lot for anyone, but especially Steve, who frequently thought about what it would be like to have Eddie’s attention on him in bed, or in the shower, or on the couch, or the pool, or-
“Did you want another drink?”
Steve looked down at the drink in his hand. He’d barely finished half of it, so he didn’t really know why Eddie was asking unless he just needed an excuse to get up.
“Um. No thanks. Probably should just have one anyway.”
“Sure.”
Eddie got up with his empty glass and started walking towards the bar.
Almost as soon as Eddie was gone, a taller man in a suit was taking his place at the table.
“Well, hi there, honey. Never seen you here before. First time?”
The guy was older, mid-thirties at least, and probably not the type of guy Steve would want to experiment with. But he was flirting, and he was kind of cute.
Steve could let himself enjoy a little casual flirting, right? It wouldn’t have to lead to anything.
“No, but I don’t come often.”
Steve rested his arms on the table, head in his hand. He grinned at the man, that Harrington charm practically beaming off of him.
“You could come tonight if you wanted to join me in the back.”
That was smooth. Sleazy, but smooth.
Steve didn’t drop his grin, but he shook his head.
“I don’t think I’m interested in just hooking up in the bathroom. Maybe you could buy me a drink?”
He had no intention of drinking another drink, but he figured this guy would lose interest if he showed he was more needy.
He was wrong.
The guy practically tripped over his feet to stand up from the booth.
“What would you like?”
“Oh. Uh.”
“He’s good, man. How about you go buy a drink for someone interested?”
Eddie came out of nowhere. Seriously, Steve had just seen him at the bar a few seconds before he spoke.
“Is this your boyfriend or something?”
Steve cleared his throat awkwardly as Eddie stood taller, more intimidating.
“Does it matter? I’m asking you nicely to go.”
“I don’t think it’s up to you. I asked him.”
Eddie looked like he wanted to punch the guy, and Steve could admit to himself silently that he wanted to see it.
But he didn’t quite understand why Eddie was reacting like this; He’d assumed Eddie would want to try to hook up with someone while he was here and wouldn’t want to spend all his time with Steve.
“Steve? Do you wanna get a drink with this guy?”
No, he didn’t. He hadn’t even before Eddie came back. But a part of him had to wonder if maybe Eddie’s reaction was just to protect Steve from an older guy.
“I actually have to drive us back home so I probably shouldn’t have another drink. Thanks though.”
The guy mumbled something before turning and leaving, shaking his head as he walked to the bar.
Eddie slid into the booth next to him instead of across from him, letting most of their sides touch.
Steve couldn’t help the way his body naturally curled into Eddie’s, the comfort and safety of his body drawing Steve in without effort.
It should have ended there. Steve should have just let himself stay rested against Eddie’s side until Robin was done.
He did for a minute, but then his brain decided it needed explanations.
“What was wrong with that guy buying me a drink?”
Eddie was quiet for a moment, his body tense against Steve’s.
“I just don’t think he was the right kind of person to be buying you a drink. You deserve better than that.”
Steve’s brows furrowed.
Eddie didn’t know the guy, he could’ve been really nice. Other than the propositioning as his first line, he seemed like he was willing to do whatever Steve wanted to get more time with him.
“Who is the right kind of person then?”
“Someone younger. Maybe someone who doesn’t wear a damn suit to a gay bar. This is a casual place, there’s no need to flaunt your super important job. Plus, he could see your drink was still half full, he should’ve known you didn’t want one.”
“You offered me a drink before you got up.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“Because I’m not trying to get you drunk to sleep with me.”
Yeah, and wasn’t that a shame?
Steve dropped it. It wasn’t worth arguing with Eddie and he didn’t want to ruin any of the fun they could have.
“Should we dance?”
Eddie pulled away and looked at him like he’d grown a second head.
“You want to dance with me?”
“Why not? We’ve been abandoned by Robin and the music isn’t bad.”
The music wasn’t bad to Steve. Eddie, however, was suffering through it as it was, and that was without having to dance to it.
“Pleeeeease?” Steve pouted at Eddie, eyes wide.
“You can’t make that face. It’s not fair.”
Steve kept making the face because being fair wasn’t something he cared about.
Eddie stood up, holding his hand out towards Steve to help him stand from the table.
Steve took it, ignoring the way he wanted to collapse against Eddie the second he stood up.
They made it to the dance floor, where a surprising amount of people were dancing in pairs and small groups, enjoying the fact that they could safely here.
Just when Steve turned to Eddie, the music changed to Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears.
Steve tried not to take it as a sign.
Eddie suddenly looked even more nervous, like he’d planned on maybe getting away with just jumping around to the music and now he couldn’t.
Just when Steve was going to give him an out, another guy, this one younger, but not as nice looking, wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder.
“How ‘bout we dance, sugar?”
The guy was drunk.
Steve wasn’t interested in ruining his favorite song by dancing with this drunk guy.
“He’s busy,” Eddie said firmly.
The guy backed up a bit, but still had his hand against Steve’s arm, resting there with enough of a grip to keep him upright.
“Sorry, you got somethin’ against me dancin’ with him?”
“Yeah, that’s why I just said he’s busy.”
Eddie pushed the guy’s hand off of Steve’s arm and put his own around Steve’s waist, pulling him against his side with no room for air or argument.
Steve tried to catch his breath, his heart skipping a beat and his lungs exhaling instead of inhaling.
“Maybe you should let him say if he’s busy or not.”
Steve was missing his favorite song to argue with a guy he wasn’t interested in when he could be dancing with Eddie.
Unacceptable.
“I’m dancing with him. Find someone else.”
The guy rolled his eyes and walked away.
Eddie turned and adjusted his arms so they rested on Steve’s hips.
Steve didn’t know what to do.
“Have you never slow danced before, King Steve?”
“Uh. Just once.”
“Oh? Let me help you then.”
Eddie took his hands in his own and gently placed them around his neck, pulling himself closer to Steve when his hands found his hips again.
“This okay?”
“Yeah.”
Steve wasn’t sure how this was happening, how this was real.
He just knew he didn’t want it to end.
He rested his head against Eddie’s shoulder, letting himself enjoy what would probably be his only chance at dancing with Eddie for the rest of his life.
“Why do you keep sending people away?”
Why was Steve determined to ruin tonight with his stupid fucking questions?
“What do you mean?”
“It just seems like you don’t wanna share.”
Eddie didn’t respond.
Steve looked up at him, but his face was hard to read in the darkness of the bar.
“Eds?”
“I don’t.” Eddie cleared his throat. “I don’t wanna share you. I like having you all to myself. Sorry if I’ve ruined your night.”
He started to pull away and Steve panicked. He couldn’t say that and then leave.
“What do you mean? You haven’t ruined anything. I wanted to spend it with you, anyways.”
Eddie was searching his eyes, looking for any sign of a lie.
“Steve, I-” The song changed, but it was another slow song. They kept slowly rocking and staring at each other. “I have to tell you something. You’re probably gonna hate me and wanna leave me here in Indy.”
Steve gulped. Could he possibly have feelings for Steve?
“I uh. I sent them away because I was jealous.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I love you so fucking much I don’t know what to do with it all the time! Sometimes I hide in the bathroom during movie nights so I can scream into the towels. Do you know how ridiculous that is? I’ve even been caught by Max before and she promised not to say anything if I gave her $20.”
“Oh.”
Oh? What the hell Steve, say something else.
“So, I get it if you hate me. I mean, I don’t know how this happened and I have no right to send potential dates away because I want to keep you to myself.”
Steve leaned up and placed a kiss on Eddie’s cheek.
“I’m glad you got jealous.”
Eddie was blushing now.
“What?”
“If you hadn’t been jealous, you probably wouldn’t have told me all this, would you?”
“No, I guess not.”
“You know what helps with jealousy?”
Eddie looked down at him, more confused than ever.
Steve didn’t wait for him to respond.
“Making out in the bathroom of a gay bar.”
Eddie’s eyes practically bugged out of his head as he registered what Steve was saying.
“You wanna do that? With me?”
“Well, I certainly don’t wanna do it with anyone else. And you won’t let me do it with anyone else. So maybe we should do it together.”
Eddie grabbed his wrist and wordlessly led them to the bathroom in the back of the bar.
It wasn’t empty, but the single stall was available and Eddie made it pretty clear what their intentions were when he dragged Steve right into it, closing and locking the door only a second before his hot lips were on Steve’s.
It was better than what Steve could have possibly imagined, but still not enough.
Now that he knew Eddie wanted him, he wanted everything Eddie could give him.
And Eddie seemed to want to give it all to him.
His lips were almost too much, but Steve couldn’t get enough.
They weren’t even in a bathroom anymore, floating high above the clouds with happiness and contentment.
Until a knock on the stall door nearly made Steve give himself another concussion.
“Dingus One and Dingus Two! Super happy for you both, but it’s time to go.”
“Shit.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s nearly one in the morning and we agreed to leave by midnight. I got distracted by boobies.”
“Don’t we all,” Steve said, as Eddie let out a loud laugh.
They opened the stall door and Robin sighed.
“Fix your hair. I’ll be at the car.”
Steve looked in the mirror as she left the bathroom, smirking at Eddie’s reflection behind him in a similar state of disarray.
“Okay?”
“So okay.”
“You owe me a dance.”
“What? Why? We danced!”
“But it got interrupted. And I wanna dance with you.”
Eddie sighed, but smiled fondly at Steve.
“I’ll dance with you whenever you want, sweetheart.”
558 notes · View notes
yunhofications · 1 year
Text
rock with you - j.yh
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pairings: dom!yunho x switch!fem reader
chapters: 1/2
synopsis: yunho’s a rockstar and doesn’t care about anyone but himself, at all. he loves the attention he recieves, but the only attention that really matters to him is from the girl who can’t seem to stand him at all. well, thats what she tells herself anyway.
warnings/tags: yunho’s kind of a dick, but not really, size kink, dumbification, choking, man handling, biting/marking, praise. hes quite a mean n rough dom, fingering, cheating implied (not by yunho), pet names, drinking. no actual sex in this part
word count: 3.7k
authors note: hi! this is my first ever suggestive fic, i originally was only going to do one part but im going to do two now, if this chapter does well :] i hope you all like it, im new at writing these things!
it was a Sunday night, 9:54 pm to be exact. The bar wasn’t crazy busy considering most people had work the next day and normal individuals wouldn’t spend their free night before work drinking their sorrows away in a lousy run down bar. Not that it phased you in the slightest, you brushed off the judgmental stares and glares from the bartender since you were probably on your 20th shot and you had the tiniest little body. Who the fuck is fitting in that much alcohol without getting drunk? Well, you were pretty tipsy and your eyes were slowly giving out, as well as your entire body, about to hit your head against the wooden bar counter before a hand slips in and stops you from getting a concussion.
You don’t give it much thought, perhaps it was just the bartender, or some random stranger who was afraid you’d die or something from slamming your head down. But it wasn’t. Oh how you wished you were dreaming, and that your mind was playing a little trick on you from all the emotions and all the god damn alcohol that was running through your veins. Then the voice spoke. It felt like nails on a chalkboard, you hated it. “Y/N.” You could hear how smug the voice was, you could hear the smirk on their lips. Fuck.
“Go to hell Yunho.” Your words being just a big fat mumble, moving his hand away and allowing your head to rest against the hard wood counter. Yunho, Jeong Yunho. Many people adored the man, which you never understood why. He was a dick with a terrible attitude and didn’t give a shit about anyone but himself, the nerve of him even coming near you made you wanna snap. Though, you had no energy to do that. You could still feel him next to you, his perfume was strong, and you’d only ever recognised that scent on him, no one else.
“Are you ever gonna stop being a little bitch Y/N? I just saved you from getting a concussion. You should be thanking me.” A scoff left his mouth. It was true though, Yunho didn’t care about anyone else but himself, he adored the attention from others, women. It was all he got, he was a rockstar afterall, who wouldn’t love the attention? Afterall, thousands of women screaming his name as his fingers played away at his guitar, what a life to live. However, as much as he adored all those women, one woman in particular was all he truly desired, to hear her scream his name, only for him to hear, for her to be a mess on his cock, a mixture of his and her cum dripping from her bare cunt. That woman was Y/N, and she couldn’t stand the sight of him.
“I didn’t ask you to, now go away. I don’t need you ro add to my problems right now.” You managed to lift your head and turn to face the dark haired man sitting beside you. It bothered you that he was attractive and that perhaps in another life you’d given him a chance, and maybe if he didn’t have a stick up his own ass and acted like the world revolved around him.
“Problems? Like what? Your only problem is you being an annoying little dog.” Okay, to an extent Yunho could see why you didn’t like him at all, considering all he did was rip into you and just make matters worse rather than at least try and be there for you. All your hatred and dislike for Yunho began just as he started to gain attention, because from the slightest attention his ego grew massive and it bothered you. The two of you had a little history, meeting one another through acquaintances and he was actually really cute, and you were attracted to him in more than one way. That was no longer the case. Now five years have passed and his attitude and ego was unbearable.
“Do you ever fucking shut up? Fuck off, Yunho. Seriously.”
“No.”
“Why’s that?”
“I don’t want to.”
All you could do was give him the biggest eye roll, you barely had any energy left to argue with this idiot in front of you, whining at how frustrated you were with him. “My boyfriend— ex, boyfriend. Cheated on me, so I beg you to leave me alone and let me drink in peace.” You had no intention on telling him that, but you prayed that he’d leave you alone and go home or fuck a girl or do whatever it is that he did. Instead he remained right there, pulling something out of his pocket. A ticket, a ticket to his upcoming show. He was absolutely unbelievable.
“You’re kidding me, right? Do you just carry those with you everywhere? I'm not going, I don’t like your music.” Which was a lie. You listened to his songs whilst getting ready, in the car, when laying in bed.
“Just come will you? And fuck your ex, hes a fucking idiot to let someone like you go, the prettiest woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” Yunho meant his words, and he definitely wanted you to attend his show, simply because you’ve never been to one before, and he desperately wanted to show himself off to you in another light. He had to hide the little smile which appeared on his face when you mentioned your ex cheated, he was out of the picture now which meant Yunho had a chance to win you over, and he was determined to.
You’d be lying to yourself if you said your heart didn’t flutter a little when Yunho complimented you. It didn’t mean anything to you, well, you thought it didn’t. You chewed your bottom lip as you snatched the ticket and shoved it in your purse, perhaps it would be good to go, what else were you doing? Moping around that you got cheated on? Ridiculous.
“Whatever.. I’m going now.” Oh but getting up by yourself was a terrible idea, you slid off the barstool and stumbled as soon as you hit the ground, squinting as if it were to make a difference to your vision, but it didn’t. Suddenly you feel some long arms wrap around you tightly to hold you in place, you knew exactly who it belonged to as two large hands gripped the side of your arms. You were in no position to argue or say no, since you were pretty sure you’d black out soon enough, which you did.
The next thing you knew, it was the next morning, your head was ringing and you were in bed, at home.
Huh.
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A week had passed since your drunken incident, you barely remembered it and still couldn’t put your finger on how you ended up at home in bed, surrounded by your pastel walls. Well, no point dwelling on it now. You were currently sitting upon your white little wooden vanity, gripping onto a curling iron and letting your hair fall as you let go. It was the day of Yunho’s show and you decided to go, why? Who knows. You didn’t even remember how you got around to getting the ticket, and why it happened to be in your purse. it was such a blur to you. A white lace dress with little pink bows at the shoulders was upon your body, the same dress you wore the night you two met for the first time. It wasn’t intentional, not by any means and that memory had slipped your mind. You thought it looked rejected sitting in the back of your closet, so why not wear it? You’d never wear anything to purposefully grab his attention anyway.
“Shit.” It was 5:30, which meant you were running a little later than originally planned— why does it matter though? He probably won’t even notice that you're there.
Dashing around your apartment you grabbed your ink coloured clutch bag which contained the ticket and a few other essentials of yours before grabbing your keys and checking yourself in the mirror by your door before going out to your car. Your phone automatically connected to the bluetooth system in your car and at that moment your phone began to ring, it was Wooyoung. The two of you had been friends since you were in diapers, literally. It was because of Wooyoung, that you met Yunho, unfortunately. What an idiot.Foot on the gas pedal and you were off, pressing the answer button upon the steering wheel.
“Hey Woo, I'm driving right now. What's up?”
“Where are you going? I wanna go out for food, meet me?”
“Ah.. about that, I’m actually going to Yunho’s show..” You’d wondered if he even heard you, because it went silent and you spoke quietly when saying that sentence. But he did hear you, loud and clear.
“YUNHO? I thought you hated him! Why are you going?! Tell me!” The male's voice was extremely loud, almost bursting your eardrums. You hated cutting him off— not true. But right now you didn’t have time to explain, you were practically speeding your way to the venue.
“I’ll tell you later, okay? I promise you. I gotta go.” Just like that, the line disconnected with the click of a button.
Arriving at the venue, you were faced with the largest queue you'd seen by far, sprawling out into the parking lot. The sight was a complete eyesore, however you were certain Yunho absolutely loved the sight.
Lucky for you, Yunho was kind enough to give you priority access tickets, so you could skip the queue. A good thing of course, being around all those fan girl’s would possibly lead you to have an aneurysm. And thankfully, they were seated tickets as you hated standing up and being surrounded by sweaty people, especially sweaty teenage girls and possibly grown women who’d just be screaming for Yunho. Your seat happened to be a balcony seat, and you were the only one there.
Yunho knew what he was doing, he would be able to see you perfectly from there, that's if you actually decided to come. He was nervous, so nervous in fact to go on stage and then be faced with the disappointment of you not being there. The man was infatuated by you and sometimes he really hated it, why you? Why did it have to be you? Either way, time was ticking and it was time to head to the stage. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Ever since he took you home last week, you were the only thing in his mind, day and night you flooded his brain, thoughts of you being fucked, the thoughts of you simply belonging to him. It was driving him insane.
The lights dimmed within the venue, and colors of red and white flashed on the stage, indicating that he was about to come out. For some reason that caused you to feel sick, a pit in your stomach. Why am I even here? I don’t even like him. Yet here you were, in a seat assigned especially for you. Not that you knew that, you had no idea how this ticket got into your possession in the first place.
A loud bang made the floor shake beneath you, startling you for sure. White and red confetti filled the room as Yunho was now on stage, seems as though he was standing on a lifting stage. You began to chew on your bottom lip anxiously, the crowd went wild as began with his first song. Whatever, he’s still an asshole.
Yunho’s ego was always boosted immensely as soon as he appeared on stage, hundreds of people screaming his name, posters and banners just for him. Absolutely perfect. But what was even more incredible, was the girl who appeared to hate him so much, was standing in the balcony he left just for you. The smirk which was painted on his lips was very evident as he pretty much groped the mic whilst his gaze met yours, he didn’t maintain it for long, but long enough to irritate her for sure. Honestly he didn’t expect you to come, especially because you were pretty drunk the night he gave you that ticket. Nevertheless, he was absolutely smitten. He’d watch how you’d rip your eyes from him every time your eyes met, he was absolutely loving this.
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The cold breeze brushed against your face as you exited the venue, you were surprised with how you were able to stay the entire time, though there were many instances you wanted to storm out everytime you noticed the smug look on his face. You seriously couldn’t stand the man, but why was your heart fluttering if you hated him? Maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you thought you did.
You watched as fans walked out of the venue, some with tears running down their faces and sobbing about how much they loved Yunho, which could only get an eye roll and scoff out of you, how ridiculous. You took some time before deciding to walk back to your car, enjoying the breeze and feeling of the night. You happened to park quite far, and the area was deserted pretty much. You were about to enter your car, when you froze.
“Y/n.” A voice called out to you, the same voice you had been hearing for the last three hours. Jeong Yunho. Did he follow you?
“Hi jackass.” You turned around to face him, his body a lot closer to yours than you expected it to be. Crossing your arms across your chest, you tilted your head at him.
“Thanks for coming, didn’t expect you to.” The man was going to attempt to have a decent and human conversation with you, however In that moment, Yunho realized what you were wearing, the expression upon his face was different from his usual smug look. It was desire, absolute filthy desire. Yunho became enamored by you that day you two met, and here you were, wearing the cute little dress which made him obsessed with you forever. Did you know? You did this on purpose, surely.
“Are you trying to just make me fucking crazy? you know what you're doing don’t you?” His body was inching closer to yours, making you press your back against your car door.
“What on earth are you talking about?” You were clueless, but you could feel your cheeks heat up as he got closer, gripping onto the bottom of your dress tightly. If you hated him so much, why the fuck were your panties getting soaked?
“That dress.. fuck y/n are you really that fucking dumb?”
“What d— oh crap.” How didn’t you realize? You were dumb, so fucking dumb. “So what? It doesn’t mean anything.” Your heart was fucking racing, it definitely did mean something. How did you forget? He didn’t. He never forgot anything.
“It does to me, ever since I saw you in this dress that showed just enough for me to imagine you under me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Did you know that? You didn’t, because you’re a dumb little bitch.” Yunho didn’t intend on insulting you, but he knew she wasn’t bothered by that, a smirk painted his lips as he noticed your change in demeanor, your cheeks flushed pink, legs squeezing together.
“Yunho fuck y—“ But before you could continue, his large hand came to cup your jaw from underneath, whimpering under his touch. Who knew this asshole could turn you into a dumb slut just like that? Leaning into your ear, his hot breath made your body shudder.
“Shut up, shut the fuck up.” A growl from him before his lips crashed against yours ever so harshly, his tongue swiping your bottom lip, muffling the moans which threatened to escape your lips. Usually your first instinct would be to push him away but this time you couldn’t. His hands moved to grip onto your hips tightly as he pressed himself against you. You could feel how hard he already was just against you, making you soak your panties within just a couple minutes. You were out in the open, no one was around but the rush of knowing anyone could see you any second only made you more heated, your arms finally deciding to move and wrap around Yunho’s neck.
Yunho pulled away, dragging your bottom lip with him, biting on it as one of his hands slipped, letting it slide to your white lace panties, your cheeks turning scarlet red as you realized how soaked they really were, whimpering as he pushed them to the side. Fuck, a little touch was enough to send you to the sky.
“You always act like you hate me yet look at you, wet as shit like a dumb slut. My little baby.” He hissed, his tone a little mocking as two of his slender fingers entered your wet, sloppy, cunt. causing you to throw your head back against your car. He hadn’t even started yet. His fingers sliding in easily due to your arousal, pumping them in and out of you, abusing your tiny little cunt just as he always wanted. Your core was practically burning from the sensation of his fingers, they were pistoning inside you.
“Y-Yun..” You moaned out stupidly, he was only fucking you with his fingers and you could barely talk coherently. How pathetic? Yunho loved it though, he was waiting for this day for so long, to have your head so cloudy to the point you could only mumble his name, to be a mess on his fingers. A dream. Oh how beautiful you looked, your eyes rolling back, pressed against your car under the moonlight. Yunho’s brow cocked, tilting his head slightly and sinking his lips onto your neck, sucking and nibbling against your delicate porcelain skin, painting your skin purple, his tongue swiping his artwork once he was finished.
Yunho decided to insert another finger, watching you squirm was a delight to his eyes. The tent in his pants threatened to push past the fabric, perhaps even some precum already at the tip. He was desperate to fuck you, but he wanted to do it properly, and prep you of course before he took you home and absolutely destroyed you. Besides, the thrill of someone spotting him finger you senseless in the parking lot was a rush, especially to his hardening cock.
The sloppy and wet sounds coming from his fingers in your cunt was beautiful, filling the air. However as soon as he felt you tighten around his fingers he pulled them out, stuffing his fingers in his mouth to suck them clean, taking in your sweet taste. “You taste incredible whore. Though.. you think I'm gonna let you cum? The only time you get to do that is on my cock.” Once again, his mocking tone irritated you and you were beyond pissed that you were denied your orgasm. The man was edging you and you hated it, squeezing your thighs together.
“Fuck you Yunho.” You spat, huffing and crossing your arms across your chest. Yunho simply laughed in amusement at your reaction. “So are you gonna fuck me or what?” The sheer annoyance in your voice only made his cock twitch, he absolutely was infatuated by you, he loved your bitchyness.
“Im not done with you just yet, get in the backseat.” Happily you obliged, thinking he was going to slide his cock into you, you hobbled around into the back and laid down, he came in after you, closing the door and pressing himself down. Yunho teasingly grinded his hips against you so you could feel him, and fuck was he hard, you whined under him, groaning when he moved to slide your dress up and slide down your panties completely, shoving them in his pocket. Gotta keep a souvenir right? “Let me get another taste of you.”
You couldn't help but grumble, he was having so much fun and all you wanted was to be fucked into next week. But of course with Yunho that wasn't possible whatsoever. The man shuffled back and sunk his head down to meet your cunt, the sweet smell of your arousal allowed a soft moan to escape his lips before his tongue swept along your soaked folds, his hands gripping onto her skin, as his lips wrapped around her clit and sucked away, looking up to see her face scrunched up, her back ever so slightly arched. Yunho couldn’t get enough of her taste.
Your fingers ran through his hair, tugging on it as he sucked your clit softly, the moans parting from your mouth getting increasingly louder as he continued to swipe his tongue. You were well aware he’d deny another orgasam of yours, it wasn’t fair. The sensation was so different to what you'd experienced before from other partners. Yunho was definitely skilled. It only made you more eager to see how well he’d fuck you. The situation was quite bizarre. A week ago, you wouldnt of thought that you’d be lying in the backseat of your car having Yunho eat out your pussy.
Just like you predicted though, Yunho stopped as soon as you were close once again, being denied your second orgasm. “I fucking hate you.” You groaned, kicking his chest with your foot slightly as he scoffed.
“If you hated me so much, I wouldn’t be tasting you.”
“Fuck you.”
“You will sweetheart, just patience. Now, lets go home okay? I'm sure youre dying to cum.”
Yunho laughed as he left the back of the car and entered the front, he was in the drivers seat.
“Well? Come on. You can give me head as we drive.”
All you could do was roll your eyes as you shifted to the front seat, climbing your way forward and glared at him. “Im not doing it.”
“That's alright, my cock will be filling you up soon anyway.”
To be continued.
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Text
Exile
Rafe Cameron x pogue!reader, JJ Maybank x reader
Summary: Rafe and you have always had a toxic and rocky relationship, so it wasn’t a shock when you two separated. But you two just can’t seem to live without thinking of eachother
Cw: toxic relationships, quickly moving on, fighting, accusations, lots of angst
Note:  based on exile by Taylor Swift obviously, fun fact I love Taylor shes so pookie
You stand on the HMS pogue, JJ’s arms wrapped tightly around you from behind. His head resting on your shoulder. You two stare out over the water, just enjoying each other's company. In perfect timing, you spy the Druthers approaching. Your heart stops, knowing that boat better than anyone else. As it passes, you make eye contact with Rafe. JJ is rambling, not making the connection, and not realizing you’re not truly paying attention. You half-heartedly laugh at a little joke he made, mostly to put on a show for Rafe.
Rafe frowns and sips on the glass of alcohol in his hand. He glares daggers at JJ, but when you make eye contact with him, his expression noticeably softens. His eyes fall back on JJ and you know that look anywhere. It’s the look he gives people when he wants to beat the fuck out of you. With time, the boat passes and the Druthers is gone, along with Rafe.
You and Rafe had broken up a week prior to this incident. You and Rafe had been together since freshman year of high school, up until the fall after graduation. You two always walked a very thin line, your relationship filled with many disagreements. But you two understood each other and made a home in each other. He loved you and you loved him, “no superficial bullshit” as Rafe always said. But you had given Rafe more chances than you can count to improve himself and although he was noticeably better around you, it was exhausting and after one particularly bad fight, you cut him off.
“You’re being ridiculous!” You yelled at Rafe, both of you still tipsy after a big party, “We did not do anything!”
“He was eyefucking you!” Rafe argued back, referring to you and JJ talking at the party earlier that night, “You’re just too damn stupid to notice!”
“Oh yeah, tell me how you really feel!”
“You’re a naive little bitch and I don’t know why the fuck I’m even here anymore! You’re probably fucking that Maybank bitch anyway!” Rafe shot back, backing you into a wall. and you froze.
Tears stung your eyes as you made your next move. You didn’t intend to but your hand raises and Rafe received a slap across his smug face.
“Did- did you just hit me?” He said, disbelief apparent in his voice. His eyes darken, obviously more pissed as he processes it. 
“Fuck you, Rafe Cameron. I hate you. Don’t talk to me ever again and I mean that.”
“Y/n wait-” But you’re gone.
Your next encounter with Rafe occurs at the Boneyard during a party. You sit, tucked into JJ’s side on a log. You turn to him, kissing his cheek and ask, sweetly, “Do you want another drink, love?”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks babe.”
You smile in return and stand, going to get two more drinks. As you do so, a man takes notice of you. You start to get drinks for you and JJ as he speaks to you.
“Hey pretty lady, what’s your name?” He asks, and you internally sigh.
“Not interested,” you reply.
“Oh come on, you don’t even know-”
“She said she’s not interested.” A gruff voice comes from behind the man. The voice doesn’t belong to your boyfriend though, it belongs to none other than your protector, Rafe Cameron. 
No longer than a minute later, the man is on the ground and Rafe is approaching you.
“You gotta be more careful, I-”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.” You speak up, getting pissed, remembering your prior fight.
“I was trying to help,” Rafe replies, his eyes darkening, “Don’t be a bitch.”
“I’m not your problem anymore!” You snap, “So who am I offending now?” Emotions run wild throughout the both of you, the intensity of the situation getting to you.
“You stepped out the side door! You didn’t even hear me out! You never gave a warning sign!” Rafe yells, your conversation getting a bit of attention from the people on the beach.
“I gave so many signs! I saw my opportunity to leave and took it, don’t give me metaphorical bullshit!”
You had given many signs, subtly pulling away from Rafe over the years, trusting him less and less.
“I can’t read your mind, I never learned to read your mind!” Rafe yells back, “I love you so much! You know that!”
“We’ve done this so many times, Rafe..” You mutter, your voice tired, “We’ve had this same fight a million times over in different words. I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending.”
“Please..just one more chance. Y/n please..I’m begging you. There is no amount of crying that I can do for you.”
“I love you, but you’re in exile, Rafe. Maybe in the future.” You simply reply and move past him, going to look for JJ.
You gave so many signs.
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thelaughtercafe · 2 months
Text
Abandoned
Tea Type: Milk Tea
Potential Triggers: Struggling with eating in an anorexic manner as well as intentional sleep deprivation and self care in general.
Pairing: Daryl/F! Reader (Can be read platonic)
Length: 2.4k+
Summary: Daryl leaves, and by the time he comes home you've completely stopped taking care of yourself, much to his upset. He comforts and helps you get back on the right track.
A/N: Me? Writing more self-indulgent comfort about struggling with eating, sleep and self care? It’s more likely than you think! Also maybe I’ve binged nearly 3 whole seasons of The Walking Dead and fell in love with Daryl again. That probably didn’t help. This is just pure fluff and hurt/comfort!
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When Rick and the others returned, your eyes scanned them all instinctively for injuries and when you didn’t see him, you swallowed hard.
“…Where is he?”
Your voice cracked as you looked to Carol and she gave you a watery smile of her own.
“He left. Found Merle and made his choice.”
Her voice was gentle and understanding but all you felt was abandoned and cold and angry. A rare emotion for you to feel at your family. When she went to move forward and put a hand on your shoulder you cringed and hugged yourself instead.
Your heart-broken gaze moved to Rick.
“No. You-you just let him leave?! How could you?”
“We didn’t have a choice. He was gonna bring Merle back-”
“So you just abandoned him?! Let him leave? After everything we’ve been through? Everything he’s done for us?!”
Tears streamed freely down both cheeks and you moved to storm out of the metal gates when Glenn stopped you with a hand on your upper arm.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
You roughly pulled away and leveled a glare his way.
“Get off me! You all might be fine with abandoning him to die with his brother, just the two of them out there, but I’m not. I’d rather take my chances with someone I know will be loyal.”
You whirled to look at the whole group, angrily wiping away your tears.
“Y'know what? Merle was a dick. He was rude, and crass and didn’t care about anyone but his brother. He could be monstrous and I’m not negating that. But don’t forget that Daryl was different too in the beginning, before we gave him the chance to change. And even if Merle didn’t- even if he was still a jerk who put himself before others- I trust Daryl enough to adapt and be loyal to us both. To try and help his brother change. I thought you all would too.”
When you moved to the gate you frowned as Carol blocked the way glare weakening to upset.
“…Please, move Carol. I have to do this.”
“Do what? Get yourself killed? Starve to death as you search for them like needles in a haystack? I may have lost him but I am not losing you too. And he’d never want you to go out there and put yourself at risk. He’d never forgive any of us if we let you leave. Deep down, I think you know that.”
You stared one another down before giving a bitter, watery laugh.
“Guess we’ll never know what he would think now, would we? Whatever. I’ll be in my cell if anyone needs me.”
—–
The following days were beyond painful. You found yourself constantly looking for him on instinct, used to his grounding presence just a ways in front or back of you, the way he’d mumble quips under his breath that made you smile, blush or laugh. You missed your late night talks. Remember as you’d warmed up to him. Told him “Ohana means family. Family means no-one gets left behind.” You recalled the way he’d smirked a little and nudged you with a mumbled. “What are you, 5?” You’d gone on to defend Lilo and Stitch and nudged him back with a playful smile. It had been cold that night and he’d wrapped his arms around you, made you feel safe.
And now, you’d never felt more vulnerable and isolated. You understood what he felt like at the start. Everyone looked at you like you were a wild animal, something to be pitied that could lash out at any time.
Luckily Beth and Glenn had finally given up, but Carol was persistent. You walked around the prison on patrol, her right at your back.
“Please, eat something at least, if you won’t sleep. It’s been days. Daryl wouldn’t want you to-”
“Would you stop saying that? I already told you. I’ll eat and sleep when he’s back, not a second sooner.”
“You’re acting like a child!”
Your eyes flared as you turned to her, though your expression remained cool.
“Well maybe I finally got tired being the mature one all the time. I’m still doing my part, helping everyone else. Just stop caring. Clearly it’s easy enough for everyone else to.”
Aaron joined you both as you were turning to leave when suddenly gunfire rang out, making you drop and pull Carol down with you instinctively. Aaron fell suddenly and you gasped as you saw he’d been shot in the head. Carol’s face grew steely as she positioned the body in front of you both, holding you to her tightly. Thankfully your tiny frame was easily covered.
“You stay still and you don’t move alright?”
Carol’s voice was shaky as you heard shouts ring out all around you. Are you being attacked? You hated that even now you still shook from adrenaline and fear. You heard Maggie cry out as she provided cover fire.
“Carol, take her and go!!”
You both jumped up and rushed over to where you could see Beth and Carl, grabbing guns.
A car could be heard speeding and you took the time to catch your breath as you watched in anxious horror as walkers came out of the back, hordes of them. Your mind raced, trying to figure out where everyone else was. You could all be together and deal with the threat.
You did not want to lose anyone else.
In the distance you saw Glenn and Michonne helping what looked like Hershel thank God and when they pulled up you hugged them all, quickly thinking of who else was left. Rick. Where the Hell was Rick?
You asked Hershel as much and he reassured you.
“Calm down. I saw him, he’s gonna be alright.”
He looked towards the others.
“…He’s not alone. Daryl and his brother are back. Look.”
He raised his chin behind you and you sighed in immeasurable relief at the sight. Thank God. Your core family was still together.
You all gathered and some slept while others spoke quietly in the night. You couldn’t even look at Daryl. Not yet. You didn’t want to break; not when the situation was so precarious.
Once morning came discussions began in earnest on what to do. Some wanted to leave, others wanting to stay. Rick went to leave again and Hershel finally snapped, understandably so.
When Rick returned he began allocating and you sighed as Glenn spoke up, mind racing as you tried to think of the best course of action.
“There’s barely any food or ammo.”
Daryl mumbled back.
“Been there before. We’ll be alright.”
“That was when it was just us. Before there was a snake in the nest.”
You frowned.
“Man we gonna go through this again? Look, Merle’s staying here. He’s with us now. Get used to it. All y'all.”
He stormed off as Rick tried to stop him, heading to the second floor.
You watched the group debate.
You understood both perspectives, you really did. But with a final glance around at the others, you knew where you stood, deciding to voice it when Glenn asked a dangerous question.
“Deliver Merle to the governor. Bargaining chip. Give him his traitor, maybe declare a truce.”
You moved to glare up at him, knowing he was hurting and trying to temper your instinct; protectiveness and annoyance.
“No-one’s saying you have to like the guy or forgive him, Glenn. But think about Daryl. For once. He’s done so much for us without asking for anything in return. The least we can do is offer his family a place here.”
You scoffed as you moved to go to your cell.
“At the very least, he certainly deserves better than you talking about killing his brother in cold blood behind his back."
"Like he wouldn’t throw you to the Walkers to get away the first chance he got.”
You paused at Glenn’s hiss, before looking behind your shoulder at him, ignoring the dizziness that was making you lightheaded.
“You’re probably right. But I also know Daryl would put his life on the line to protect me from that same Walker. That’s the difference. I know why you feel the way you do, and I am truly sorry for what you and Maggie both went through. But Daryl? He’s worth more to me than revenge you think will make you feel better. And deep down I think you feel that way too.”
You walked away before he could say anything more and headed up to see Daryl. You were safe for now, and you couldn’t wait any longer.
He was waiting on his bed, fiddling with his arrows. You took a shaky breath to try and steel yourself but when you opened your mouth his eyes abruptly cut to you.
“When was the last time you ate or slept?”
You winced and looked away, mouth closing as you’d gone quiet. You swallowed nervously.
“…haven’t since you left.”
“‘Scuse me?!”
You looked back at him when his voice rose and saw the anger in his eyes.
“The Hell you mean you ain’t ate or slept since I left? It’s been 4 days now.”
“It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it now okay so just-”
You turned to leave, cheeks burning in humiliation at your secret being out but looked back as rough calloused fingers curled around your arm.
“Like Hell it don’t matter! Look at me!”
You met his eyes and your tears finally fell as you did so. The aggressive tone was a bit triggering, but you and him both knew you wouldn’t have broken down like you needed to otherwise.
“I’m sorry okay!? I didn’t want you to know, I thought-I just…”
You used your free hand to cover your mouth as you sobbed.
“I didn’t want to live in a world you weren’t here with me! They wouldn’t let me go find you so I just- I just shut down. It was good anyway, Carl’s a growing kid and I’d rather my portion be used to help the others than go to waste. It was a good thing!”
Your voice cracked and you looked away to try and gather yourself when Daryl gently guided your face back to look him in the eye.
“You sacrificin’ yourself while spiraling ain't a good thing. I promise I won’t leave like that again. An’ if I ever did, I’d come back for ya. But that means ya gotta take care of yourself. Not worry the others. Beth told me, soon as I got in. Told me you was bein’ a damn fool and to get some sustenance and sleep in ya.”
You gave a watery laugh at that and moved to hug him, hiding your face in his neck and taking comfort in the warmth and solidness of him.
“Should’ve known she’d tell you. Between her and Carol it was getting pretty difficult. Pretty sure Carol was just gonna start force-feeding me soon.”
His husky chuckle made you melt further into him but he sighed and pulled back, raising his chin toward the 1rst floor.
“She must’ve got her stubborn streak from watchin’ you. Now, get some food first before you doze off, you can eat it here with me and then you’re going the Hell to bed. Y'know I’ll wake you soon as anything happens.”
You blushed at the embarrassing question you wanted to ask but he beat you to it, fingers running through your hair in the familiar way he did when you’d have a nightmare or insomnia before he left.
“Obviously I’ll be right by your side. You ain’t the only one who was strugglin’. Kept looking over my shoulder to make sure you were alright. I want you in my sight. 'Specially knowing what stupid shit you’ll do if separated from me again.”
You smiled at the fondness in his tone and pulled away to go get food. The dizziness was getting worse so you grabbed an apple and called it good as you trucked up the stairs again to his room.
He frowned a bit at the small portion but sighed in defeat after a moment from where he was back on the bottom bunk.
“Apple for now is fine, it’s probably best you get your stomach used to food again anyhow.”
You forced the apple down despite your lack of hunger since Daryl was back. That was what you’d promised Carol. You didn’t want anyone to worry about you anymore. You’d been selfish enough. Clearly you weren’t as slick as you thought if both Beth and Carol had caught on.
When you finished it down to the core he moved over to make a small space for you to cuddle into, eyes still locked on his arrow. You couldn’t stifle your smile and moved to make yourself comfortable. Wall at your back and Daryl at your right it felt like you could breathe again and you couldn’t help your yawn at the familiar position.
“Here. I doubt you’ll need if since you’re so tired but it never hurts.”
His voice was gruff but you saw the intimacy of the action as he tossed his familiar leather jacket over you, knowing you slept infinitely better with a blanket.
“You can use me as a pillow too, if ya need. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
You relaxed completely and let yourself feel safe and contented as you snuggled into his shoulder and neck. The warmth emanating from him was already making you drift off and the dizziness was fading.
“Thanks for not leaving me. Sorry for being stupid and selfish and… like a child.”
He chuckled at that and moved one of his arms to circle you and pull you closer, ruffling your hair before continuing to play with it.
“S'fine. Everyone’s warranted a temper tantrum now and then. Just don’ make a habit of it or I’ll have to smack ya upside the head good.”
“Yeah, right. A big…softie like you?”
You stifled another yawn.
“Doubt it.”
He smiled and you blissfully passed into unconsciousness. He looked up as Carol leaned against the doorway, a wry smile on her face.
“Haven’t had a chance to say. I’m glad you came back.”
He scoffed a little.
“To what? All this?”
Carol came to sit down, voice quiet but clear.
“This is our home.”
He met her eyes meaningfully.
“This is a tomb.”
“That’s what T-Dog called it. Thought he was right…till you found me.”
Her voice was somber but gentle.
“He’s your brother, but he’s not good for you. Don’t let him bring you down. After all, look how far you’ve come.”
Her eyes moved to you sleeping soundly against him in meaning and he looked away a moment before looking back as they shared a chuckle.
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auspicioustidings · 2 months
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Ae Fond Kiss - Part 2
Love in the Guise of Friendship
Summary: 6 months pass and you learn to deal with your grief with help from an unexpected source. Words: 3.2k TWs: allusions to suicidal thoughts
Parts: 1 2 3
13 days after the world ended
“Please take him.”
You were a terrible mother. You couldn’t even hold your own son. You hoped as Joseph cried and Kyle took him and tried to soothe him that someone would come and take the baby away from you. You didn’t deserve to have something so precious when every time you held him you wanted to throw up. A few times you had, putting him down quickly and diving for the toilet. Head leant on the toilet seat, sweaty hair sticking to it and looking at the little thing on the hard tiled floor whose eyes belonged to a spectre, you sometimes wished you would do the right thing and just die already so someone better could take him. 
Kyle had stayed in your flat since the world ended. Johnny’s mother had wanted to and it was a small mercy that she hadn’t pushed. The idea of her being there made you want to lay down and let the earth swallow you up. You hadn’t seen Price although the groceries that arrived every few days had his name next to the order. Nothing at all from Ghost. You wondered if he found you disgusting. Sometimes it felt like he could see right to the heart of you. Sometimes it felt like he had seen the ugliness when your baby had died, and then he had seen it when your husband had died, and now he knew that you were wretched and unfit for love. You half expected him to show up in the night to take Joseph away.
“Come on little man, can’t be giving your mum such a hard time. If this is what you’re like now you’ll drive her right mental when you start teething.”
Fuck. The sob that came out of you was a broken and pathetic thing. It was just that Johnny had said something similar when you had first taken Joseph home. As it did at least five times a day, the grief smothered you so entirely that Kyle had to steer you into the nest of blankets and pillows you had built yourself on the couch. He was staying in the bedroom with Joseph right now. You couldn’t go in there yet. You didn’t know when you would be able to. 
“It’s ok, we’ll try again tomorrow yeah?”
You managed a limp nod as you burrowed into the bedding that had stopped smelling like cosiness among a winter pine forest a week ago. You would try again tomorrow.
23 days after the world ended
“She can’t be on her own.”
Simon had hoped that you’d be at least a little better by now. You’d never be ok, he more than anyone understood that, but you would learn to live again. You hadn’t seen him since that horrible night. The 141 never officially attended the family funeral, they had taken a portion of the ashes and held their own memorial for their fallen brother. But Ghost had seen you, had been there in the shadows keeping watch.
He had near threatened to quit if Gaz wasn’t given leave to stay with you. He had asked him to, although he suspected he might have done it anyway. You needed someone and after seeing how you had paled speaking with Johnny’s family he had made arrangements. Mrs MacTavish hadn’t been happy to stay away, but he was blunt when he told her that despite her best intentions, being around Johnny’s family would break you right now. He was steadfast in his belief that there was still enough of you left to break.
“Garrick…”
“Don’t Garrick me Lieutenant. You… you’re better at this kind of thing than I am. Stop being a prat and get over here, she needs you right now.”
“We don’t even like each other.”
“You don’t have to. You understand each other, that’s enough.”
He knew that Gaz was right. If anyone understood this sort of all encompassing grief, it was going to be him. He had already pulled you back from it once before. But it was different this time. This time his own grief was choking him and if he added it to yours he was scared it would kill you both. 
It was selfishness that had kept him away this long. Gaz was grieving too and he had been left with the responsibility of keeping your head above the water in the sea you had made of your sorrow. He had stayed by your side even when his own support system was waiting for him in his London flat. He had met Gaz’s partner a few times, he knew they would be there to soothe him like he needed. But because Ghost was a fucking coward, instead his Seargent (the one he hadn’t let fucking die in his arms) was with you. Only now the cracks were starting to show and Gaz needed to be home before he splintered entirely under the weight of it all. 
“Ghost?”
“Ok. I’ll be round tomorrow.”
30 days after the world ended
“You have got to be kidding.”
There was no way that the big scary man in the balaclava, that you still hadn’t seen him without despite your best efforts, was this hopeless at cooking. 
“S’too fucking long! Or your pot isn’t big enough!”
Oh God he sounded so unlike himself right then. Gone was the gruff, smug bastard and in his place was, dare you say, someone embarrassed. And he damn well should be in honesty. What grown man couldn’t even make spaghetti? All the pasta noodles had a section of scorching from where they had been left laying against the edge of the pot. There was a startling sound in the air, one you had forgotten existed. His eyes were wide as it carried through the room. It took you a moment to parse the sound. It was coming from you. You were laughing. 
His wide eyed surprise quickly giving way to a glare over the fact that you would dare laugh at his expense only made you laugh harder, clutching at your stomach with one arm and wiping frantically at your watering eyes with the other. 
“Big scary skull man defeated by Italian food!” you wheezed, your entire body clinging to the feeling of giddy lightness at this moment. “Is that why you wear it? Hiding the mortification from being outdone by” you paused to read the packet and the ridiculousness of it only made you laugh hard enough to be snorting like a pig, “Fedelini number 10!”
Ghost nearly ripped off his balaclava right there and then to prove he was not in fact mortified which would have been a disaster considering his logical brain was certain his cheeks and ears were burning red, but little Joseph rescued him from the further humiliation when he gave a happy gurgle from his high chair that had you scooping him up. You were laughing and cooing at him as you showed him the burnt pasta, telling him about the big scary skull man who was hiding his face for fear of reprisal from every Italian on the planet.
It was the first time you had held him without those storm clouds in your eyes and that awful rigidity from all the tension swimming through you. He was struck terrified for a moment that he would fuck up and this fragile happiness would shatter, but when you turned to him, making fun of him through the baby, his mouth was moving before he could overthink it. 
“Your ma’s a brat Joe. She forgets that I saw her attempt at a birthday cake.”
“It was avant garde! And it was still delicious!” you said with a gasp of outrage that he would dare to bring up the great birthday cake disaster of 2021. 
“You know he only told you that to spare your feelings, right princess?”
You pressed Joseph to your chest with a hand to his ear, feigning blocking him from hearing such slander. 
“This is why the universe messed up your hearing J, to protect you from all these lies coming from casper over here.”
The pasta was thrown out and you ordered in (Italian of course). Now that you could hold Joseph without your gut roiling you found you didn’t want to stop, but you still paused at the bedroom door and passed him off to Ghost instead. He didn’t push it, not tonight, not after you had laughed and held Joe and not drowned at the mention of something Johnny had said. Soon though. He was getting you back into a proper bed soon.
2 months after the world ended
Price was staying out of it although taking great amusement in watching it happen (even if his heart felt like it was in a woodchipper watching the biggest two casualties of his war). Joseph in his arms was happy to tug at his beard and not too concerned about the fight happening. 
You were like a fucking feral cat is what Ghost thought as you kicked your legs and battered your fists against his back. He didn’t really think about it when he laid a spank on your ass causing an indignant squawk from you. Maybe if either of you were willing to see one another as anything but enemies it might have caused an entirely different reaction.
“You put me down you fucking animal!”
“Language princess, little ears listening.”
Oh he thought he was hilarious clearly since you both knew Price had turned off Joe’s hearing aid the minute this started kicking off. You thought otherwise. Stupid bonehead didn’t have a funny bone in his body. Prick.
“I’m not bloody sleeping there!”
“Yes you bloody are!”
He had coaxed you into the bedroom over the last few weeks, but despite his efforts you still wouldn’t sleep in the bed and he had completely run out of patience. Compassion had been fully overruled by annoyance. You were an absolute pain in his arse and it was driving him crazy that you would be so stubborn about this. 
Plus he was starting to get antsy about sleeping on the bedroom floor. Since you were on the couch he couldn’t take that, and even though the bed smelled faintly of Gaz which would have been fine, the first time he had laid down in it the bottom pillow still held a whisper of whiskey in front of a fireplace, frosted pine trees perfuming through a window. So he had slept on the floor and not told you. Then he had just sort of kept doing it. 
“Jesus fuck woman!” he hissed when your nails dragged up his back as he crossed the threshold to the bedroom. 
“Should’ve wore your fucking kevlar if you were intending on getting into a fight with me. I’m going to rip you apart casper.”
He laughed as he grabbed your hips and up ended you over his shoulder and onto the bed, an offt coming from you as you bounced. You hadn’t been on this bed since the world ended. The thought of it would floor you. It had taken a monumental effort to even be in the room. Ghost had only convinced you with the fact that Joe slept better with the crib in the bedroom and needed his mum to put him down for naps and sleeps.
Only now all the panic you usually felt in this room, all the horror of the idea of being in this bed, was crushed under the weight of your fury at this idiot’s smug eyes looking down at you. Not on your life would you let him win a fight. Just because he was a lumbering giant with bad taste in masks did not mean he could take you on. So instead of hyperventilating and crawling off the bed to curl up on the floor and cry, you lunged to throttle him. 
When the growling and yelling stopped a minute or so later Price peeked into the room to make sure you hadn’t actually killed one another to find both of you in the bed, your back to Simon’s chest with his legs pinning yours and his arms holding you lightly in a sleeper hold. Not enough to significantly cut off your oxygen, but enough to immobilise you and have you silently simmering with rage at being caught. 
There were red lines down Simon’s arms, claw marks. Your hair was a mess, mussed and wrecked from what must have been a savage wrestling match. Was that…? Price laughed as he bounced Joseph.
“Better hope she isn’t rabid Simon.”
“He started it” you grumbled, maybe a little chagrined now faced with the reality of Captain John Price seeing teeth marks on his soldier’s forearm. 
Joseph perked up and chubby little hands flailed as he reached toward you. Price sat down on the edge of the bed to hand the little bundle of trouble over into your arms, Ghost’s hold loosening as his legs released yours and his arms dropped, hands finding a comfortable position lightly resting on your hips.
Neither of you put any conscious thought into the position, you sat between his legs, almost leant back on his chest with the baby cooing happily in your arms as Ghost waggled his eyebrows over your shoulder. You were both content to just lay all your attention on the most perfect baby to have ever existed and his beautiful eyes. 
The woodchipper whirred violently.
4 months after the world ended
You didn’t know what was more startling about the fact that Ghost had just burst into the bathroom with Joseph in his arms, the fact that you were naked in the bath or the fact that you could see Simon Riley. 
He sort of lived with you now, neither of you willing to be the first to voice that you were doing a lot better these days and probably didn’t need someone living in to make sure you didn’t go off the deep end. You thought Kyle was going to say something about it last time he visited, but he seemed to think better of it and kept quiet. 
But in all that time you had never seen him without his mask. You had caught glimpses of a strong jawline when he ate, seen clear eyes when he stopped putting eye black on them a few weeks back. Strangely after wanting to trick him into letting you see him, you had ignored the chance of it a week ago. He had been leaning over the crib and you caught a glimpse of skin that told you he had his balaclava off. Only you didn’t walk in. You don’t know why you didn’t. Instead you quietly left the room again and stood by the wall outside, covering your mouth to smother an unexpected sob when you heard the soft sound of a lullaby being sung.
He was a wild and twisted sort of handsome (not that he hadn’t told you several times he was good looking, for such a large and intimidating man he was actually a bit of an arrogant, smug tosser once you got to know him). The scars didn’t really make you flinch, you were married to Johnny after all and while his face wasn’t too badly marked up outside of a few knicks and small lines he had plenty of gnarled scar tissue around his body. You had been married to him. His face hadn’t been too badly marked.
“Ok, hang on, let’s do it again for mum Joe.”
Simon looked almost crazed as he stuck his tongue out at your son, seemingly not bothered in the slightest that you were still very much completely naked in the bath. You would have screamed at him to get out, only as he started screwing up his nose and crossing his eyes J laughed and any concern about your state of dress or his rude interruption died in your throat. 
“Oh… oh my God! Fuck wait where’s my phone! Can you do it again J? Is Simon’s face funny?” you cooed, nearly sliding and cracking your head open as you rushed to your feet and lunged out of the tub to get your phone from the counter so you could make sure you had video evidence of this moment forever. 
Both an unmasked Simon and a dripping wet and naked you cooed and made silly faces and laughed along for the next 10 minutes before Joseph decided he was well and truly tuckered out from practising his new talent and conked out on Simon’s shoulder. 
Only without the excitement of baby’s first laugh did you both realise the situation and blink in shock at one another. Simon’s eyes flickered briefly over you, and absolutely ass that he was he bit his lip to stifle a laugh.
“Nice piercing.”
Your face blazed red. Simon Riley had no business knowing that you had a barbell through the hood of your clit.
“Cute scars.”
Simon found the tips of his ears warming. You had no business knowing that he had a variety of scars on his face.
As if the spell keeping you both frozen in place broke, you snatched a towel and turned to wrap yourself in it while he turned his back so you couldn’t see his face. Both stood in the bathroom, backs to one another, there was an awkward beat of hesitation with neither of you knowing how to diffuse this situation. 
“I’ll… put him down. I’ll put him down.”
“Yes. Yeah. I’ll just… get dressed.”
“Right.”
You were both very careful to not bring it up again, even when Simon never wore the balaclava around the house after that.
6 months after the world ended
It was love in the guise of friendship. Neither of you were stupid enough to acknowledge it. 
2 hours after the fuck up of the century
“Permission to speak freely Captain.”
“Granted.”
“I fucking told ye so. Simmons has always been a shitebag, and now he’s fucked us.”
“...I won’t make you stay.”
“Aye, but we both know if I pull out of this now the world gets dirty.”
The despair settled into Price’s bones. John MacTavish should be on his way to exfil right now, but instead was on the other end of a burner phone as Price sat in the helo that wouldn’t be taking his Sergeant home as planned. 
He hated this. He hated holding little Joseph MacTavish knowing that Soap was missing it. He hated looking at you and seeing the way your eyes sometimes glazed, mind drifting to your apparently dead husband. He hated looking at Simon and seeing a man slowly falling in love and drowning in guilt about it.
But he had to get dirty to keep the world clean. 
So they changed the plan. Simmons had well and truly fucked it and now they needed to be in it for the long haul. John MacTavish would stay a dead man. Vladimir Makarov would be given no reason to suspect that his double agent was a triple agent, which meant a comms blackout until Soap was certain beyond doubt that it was time to pull the trigger. Nobody but him, Price and Laswell would ever know.
There was one thing asked of Price and he swore to it. He would do anything in his power to make sure you and Joseph were happy and looked after. He didn’t dare comment when after a moment, Soap added Simon Riley to that small list.
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canyouiimagine · 5 months
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Showed Me | CS55 x Black! Reader
PART 1
Masterlist
✧ Paring: Carlos Sainz jr x Heiress black!reader
✧ Warning: Mean reader, cursing, mentions of cheating.
✧ Summary: In which reader is a bad person but a good friend.
✧ A/N: I obviously don't know Carlos Sainz, this is just for entertainment. <3 Also, English is not my first language so 👉🏾👈🏾.
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You and Anna had always been polar opposites. She was nice, you weren't. She was sociable, you weren't. She was passionate, you weren't. But there is one thing you guys had in common, you both hated losing.
Your best friend was currently curled up in your bed. The same bed she hadn't left since she came knocking at your door 2 days ago, bawling her eyes out. For a man. Carlos Sainz - the man she was crying about - was handsome, you'll give her that. But the man was a fluorescent red flag, you could see he was trouble from a mile away. You told her to be careful, but she didn't listen. 
Anna was an optimistic person, you weren't.
Anna and Carlos met almost two years ago at a private party in Ibiza. She had just graduated Valedictorian and wanted to celebrate with a weekend on the island.  It was love at first sight she said.  She was minding her business, dancing to the beat when suddenly she felt someone rubbing up on her and trying to grope her. She turned around to give the person a piece of her mind, but he got mad and raised his hand to hit her. Anna braced herself but nothing came. Instead, she heard – in her words - "a deep sexy voice speaking sexily in Spanish" and saw a tan hand holding the arm of her harasser. 
They started dating shortly after and Anna was over the moon.  To her, Carlos was sweet and caring. He flew her out places, bought her expensive gifts, and gave her his time whenever he could. She was rich, she didn’t need trips and gifts, but she appreciated the thought. To you, he was a prick who had convinced your friend that it would be better to keep their relationship a secret so he could feed her crumbs and use it as an excuse. Carlos was a Formula 1 driver, so they were apart a lot. Sure, she would sometimes attend races, but they couldn’t interact in public. Apparently, the media and fans had bullied his ex-girlfriend into breaking up with him and ever since he had opted to keep his love life private. 
A few months in their relationship he had given her the keys to his mansion in Madrid. “For whenever you miss me” he had said. “It’s our home” he had insisted. Anna went there as often as she could. So often in fact that she knew every corner of it. And the one this Instagram influencer was posing in was no exception. At first, she thought “it has to his cousin or something” but after clicking on her profile and scrolling through her feed she accepted the hard truth, he was cheating on her.  There were pictures upon pictures of her at the same places she had flown to meet up with Carlos. Pictures upon pictures of the same hotels and homes they stayed at together. But the worst part was the timeline of it all. All the posts were made a few days before or after she had been there. Carlos had been cheating on her, perhaps the entire length of their relationship.  Coming to that realization had her spiralling. She didn’t even know who was the side chick, was it her or the other girl? Had he met the both of them at the same time? Were there other girls? She tried asking his housekeepers for answers but all they did was give her looks of pity and sad smiles. She called and tried to confront him but as soon as he understood what was happening he hung up and blocked her.  Carlos was an asshole, and you couldn’t resist the urge to say -
“I told you so.” “Y/N!!” She cried out to you. “But I did, didn’t I?” This might seem harsh but you knew Anna more than anyone and you knew what she needed right now was a slap back to reality. You had let her cry and wallow in her pity for a few days but now she had to get herself together and be the bad bitch she knew herself to be.  “You’re supposed to be supportive! I gave him two years of my life. Two years!” You had been supportive. You had listened to her talk again and again about that man when you didn't even like him! Instead of replying you let out a sigh and caressed what you presumed was her head under the blanket.  
After a few minutes she finally let her head out to look at you, mischief written all over her face.
“Y/NNNN?” She said, smiling. “No.” You replied, giving her a pointed look.
You already knew where this was going. You tried to get up but she grabbed your wrist.
“We can’t let him get away with this, Y/N!” She whined, letting go of your wrist to put your hand in between hers. “We?” You looked at her incredulously. You didn't remember this being a "we" problem. “Who’s we?”
“We need to make him pay Y/N/N.” She said, frowning.
The minute she used your nickname she knew she had won.
Anna Lang was emotional, you weren’t. But Anna was your best friend and there was little you wouldn’t do for her.  She wanted revenge and she knew revenge was what you did best.
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Hope you enjoyed it 🥹💖
Here's my ko-fi in case any of you want to support me by giving donations 🥰: https://ko-fi.com/canyouiimagine
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transfemarmin · 8 months
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(≧◡≦) ♡ HELLO KITTY
PAIRING: M. MORALES X AMANI
SUMMARY: SHE’S HIS FIRST LOVE.
AMANI: @cyb3rspyd3r
___________________________________________________
“ YEAH..I’LL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!”
the smile that amani had given miles, made his body warm up, the two had gone on a date.. he took her to the aquarium, and even got her a small fish stuffed animal from the gift shop. he figured with how well it went, he should ask her to be his girlfriend properly, he honestly hadn’t expected her to say yeah, most girls he knew only sexualized him because he looked good. which ruined the little chance they had of ever even talking to him as soon as he heard it, and the girls he did like usually didn’t like him back or it was just him trying to distract himself from boredom.
but amani was tolerable and he liked her, she wasn’t talkative. if he didn’t respond back to things she said, she caught the hint and stayed quiet. he liked girls with common sense, because why the hell are you still speaking if he’s not?
“ okay..” the boy nodded his head, and looked down at amani; the shorter girl had a wide smile on her face.. it was contagious and before he knew it.. miles was smiling too.. ear to ear.
“ I’ll.. text you…” miles spoke softly as he began to back up from the front door and turned to go back down the flight of stairs the two had walked, only not taking an elevator in order to spend more time together, “ stay safe.. call me when you get home, okay? I might be in the shower.. and if that’s the case I’ll call you when I get out.” her eyes were full of worry, as it was late.. and brooklyn streets at night were anything but safe
“ I will, ma.. I can take care of myself. thank you though.” he gave her a sheepish smile, he wasn’t used to people being worried about him, he wasn’t used to anyone besides his mother.. uncle, and his father.. when he was alive, caring about him.
it felt nice.
it felt nice to be cared about
a smile made its way to his face as he blew her a kiss, before heading down the stairs.. when he did get home, he closed and locked his door, carefully took off his jordans.. and threw himself on the bed.. giggles leaving his mouth as he hid his face in the pillow, kicking his legs. while he wasn’t used to being cared about.. and the first second of it felt a tad bit uncomfortable.. he couldn’t help but feel good..
about being cared for
about being with someone
about being with her.
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“ you didn’t call me.” was the first thing amani said, pulling back from the hug that miles had embraced her in as soon as he got in front of her, “ sorry, ma.. i.. i got busy.. I had to cook for my mami… she was still working when I got home, she’s usually off so I made her dinner.. completely forgot.” that part was true, but he made sure to leave out the part where he was kicking his legs and giggling after he came home.
“ aw.. im sorry.” she frowned, the feeling of guilt for being upset he didn’t call her started to weigh in now. “ no..no it’s good, still.. I should’ve called. brooklyn not that safe at night.. i can acknowledge that.” he wasn’t one to communicate.. this was known, miles didn’t even know why he was telling her about this. he usually just let some slick remark hit, but the fact that she wasn’t being petty about it.. and just said something, and understood as soon as he explained why the thought slipped away from him. he was genuinely so thankful for this..
it was a breath of fresh air for once.
“ it’s okay.. it’s okay ma, don’t worry about it. you ain’t know.” he stuffed his hands in his pockets, his eyes on her, looking her up and down.. biting his bottom lip, she might’ve just been wearing the school uniform, but she looked so good in it. he shifted his body weight, to look back up at her, when his eyes caught hers.. amani let out a giggle.
“ whatchu looking at me for?” she covered her mouth as a wide grin appeared on her face, taking a single step back away from him..
a chuckle left miles’ mouth as he quickly took his hands out of his pockets and reached out, grabbing her causing a playful scream to leave amani’s lips. “ whatchu screaming f’ it’s not like I’m gon hurt you.” his arms were around her waist, his chin resting on top of her head. “ stop..shut up it just surprised me, you looked like a bear for a second..”
the two shared a laugh..
miles’ thumb rubbing circles on her lower back.. amani felt like home.. he never felt this way before about any girl.
he liked her.
he liked her, a lot
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“ i miss my girlfriend..” miles groaned, his head laying on the desk, he was in fourth period class.. him and his girl had been together for about a month at this point.
ganke turned to miles, an eyebrow cocked; miles usually had girlfriends.. a lot, not because he was a player but because he didn’t know how to say no, he never wanted to be the reason a woman was crying, or was hurt.. mad.. whatever, so when ganke heard miles had a new girlfriend he wasn’t surprised.
he was surprised this was a girlfriend that miles actually wanted to see, “ seriously?” both of ganke’s eyebrows were raised as he spoke, “ dude.. I’ve never heard you mention missing a girlfriend since katie.” katie was the last girlfriend that miles had actually liked back, but he didn’t love her. it was a pure relationship, but the crush wore off about two months in and he very hesitantly broke up with her after realizing, and that was last year.. “ seriously? I could’ve sworn I said that once or twice when I was with barbara..” he ran a hand down his face as he spoke, his eyebrows raising, he couldn’t keep track of the relationships he had anymore, but he turned to ganke with a smile, “ I do miss her though..” and then the two boys bursted out into a fit of laughs, it was at this moment he was able to ask himself the question..
did he love this girl?
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miles sat down on his bed, his arms around amani’s waist and her body in his lap, he couldn’t stop staring at her.. the way she shifted a few times, because she didn’t know how to keep still, would normally irritate him, but whenever he felt her move, all he did was look up at her, trying to see if he could do anything for her.. anything would work, anything.. he’d do anything for the woman he cared about… well, women if you counted his mother and female relatives..
but, he meant his girlfriend.. the girl who was able to show him that it was okay to love someone all the way… that it was okay to care.. that-
wait..
miles thought about what he had just spoke to himself about, did he… actually.. love her? loving someone who wasn’t ganke.. or someone who wasn’t in his family was foreign concept, ever since his father had passed he thought he’d never be able to feel.. to love.. to even have a passion anymore.. but she brought that feeling out in him..
“ hey amani ..” his voice was soft as he spoke, his grip around her waist tightening, and amani turned to face him, she was just on her phone, “ yes?” her eyebrow was raised as she looked at him, in the eyes.
“ i think I love you.”
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miles blinked, his hand on his thigh as his phone was pressed against his ear, he was on the phone with his girlfriend, she was chewing into him about how he had behaved earlier that day; he wasn’t gonna lie and say he didn’t deserve it.. because he did, he had been insanely disrespectful to her earlier, he knew his momma had raised him better than that..
“ i love you though.. I just need space for a minute.. clear my head.” she spoke, as she let out a sigh on her end. miles’ eyes nearly bulged out of his head as she said that, but he nodded his head. “ yeah.. i…I love you too.. don’t worry, I’ll give you all the space that you need.” he couldn’t fight back the smile, and it was obvious in his tone.. and he was begging the lord above that she didn’t take that the wrong way.
amani giggled, she had heard the smile in his voice.. it made her forget why she was mad, but that didn’t mean the emotions and feelings were forgotten, “ I’ll call you in the morning..” she spoke softly, before hanging up.
miles could acknowledge that he made his girlfriend upset, that it was his fault that she felt a certain kinda way; but he couldn’t help but hyper focus on her ‘ I love you’ he placed his phone his nightstand, falling back into his bed, a wide smile on his face and a feeling of warmth washing over him
“ she loves me..” he turned to the side, kicking his legs before turning on his stomach, his face in the pillow and held his legs up in the air before kicking them down. “ she really does love me… “ yes.. amani was mad.. but she still made sure he knew she loved him..
“ she really does love me..” he couldn’t stop giggling.. couldn’t stop smiling..
“ and I love her..”
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chloe-skywalker · 1 year
Text
Different - Draco Malfoy
Draco x Fem!reader Weasley
Warnings: none
Word count: 1,118
Summary: Y/n is a Weasley but she’s very different from her family. Her hair’s not red, she’s a Slytherin, and now? She’s dating Draco Malfoy. Will Ginny and Hermoine be able to help keep her brothers in the dark? Or will they find out no matter how hard they try?
Masterlist
Harry Potter Masterlist
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“I think Ron’s catching on.” Y/n rested her head on her arms, which more currently folded on the table in the liberty. Y/n was stressed hiding something when you have so many siblings around all the time was not easy.
“No trust me he’s not.” Hermione shook her head, trying to comfort her friend.
“Out of all our family Y/n/n, Ron would be the last to figure it out.” Ginny laughed. Ron was oblivious, Hermione knew that as much as anyone and started laughing as well. Although both noticed their friend still looked stressed about the situation.
“Don’t worry, Y/n.” Hermione gave Y/n a smile trying to ease her friend's mind.
“They're all gonna hate me when they find out.” Y/n referred to her family. Ginny was the only one who knew, her and Hermione. No one else on her part. Besides her parents.
“Mom and dad don’t hate you and they know. I know and I don’t hate you.” Ginny nudged her older sister arm to arm also trying to ease the tension.
“I don’t either and I don’t get along with Draco at all.” Hermione reached across the table to hold her hand. Y/n was originally nervous to tell Hermione, given her and Draco’s history. Their history also having played a part in why Y/n turned Draco down for so long. Till Hermione convinced her to say yes.
“It’s just… I’m already so different from my family- our family it’s-” Y/n started but got cut off. Often at times, Y/n didn’t do things because she didn't want to be even more different than her family. She didn’t have the Weasley's hair, she wasn’t a Griffindor, and now she’s dating a Malfoy?
“An that’s ok. We still love you.” Ginny smiled.
“Y/n/n, Draco has said unforgivable things to me but I support your relationship with him because you make eachother happy. And let’s face it, you make him a better person.” Hermione added, and it was true. Draco has been an ass to Hermione for years, but she cared about her friend's happiness.
“You do.” Ginny agreed with Hermione. Draco has been a different person since Y/n finally agreed to a relationship with him.
“That’s why we’re helping you.” Hermione squeed Y/n’s hand, giving her smile. “You're my friend, you're like a sister to me. So until your ready for your brothers to know, I’ll help you keep it a secret.”
Ginny placed her arm around her older sister's shoulder in a half hug. “And if they don’t like it you really think mom won’t rip them a new one?”
The three laughed at Ginny’s statement, the 3 girls knowing very well how true her words were. After the laughing calmed down they decided to have a girls night in the common room for Gryffindor.
^ ^ ^
“I don’t care about what your brothers will think, you know that right?” Draco asked, he knew she was scared of what they’d think, and he completely understood where she was coming from.
“I know. I’m grateful for that. I’m just worried for their reactions.” Y/n smiled up at him through her lashes, since she was resting her head on his shoulder. “Weren’t you nervous about your parent's reaction? They weren’t to thrilled if I recall correctly.”
Y/n shrugged his arm off looking down, sometimes it felt like everyone in their world didn’t want them together. Draco turned a bit in his seat adjusting himself so he could face her. Lifting her chin up to look him in the eyes. “On this matter. I only care about what I think. Besides my mother loves you, and between my two parents the opinion on you would only matter from her.”
“I don’t care what they think of you, of us. I just don’t want them to hate me. For not telling them, for keeping a secret, or just because- hell I could think of a bunch of things.” She told him letting out a shaky laugh out of nerves.
“They won’t.” Draco reassured, hoping to ease her nerves. “AN if they do. That’s their loss. But you’d still have your parents, Ginny, Hermione, my mom, and you have me.”
“That’s all I really need.” Y/n smiled reaching up to pull him into a kiss.
“Woah.” Fred and George said at the same time. Both twins were just as shocked as the couple sitting in front of them. Draco and Y/n didn’t even bother to move away from eachother, they were caught making out anyway so no use.
“Ummmm- hey?” Y/n said awkwardly looking at her older brothers.
The twins looked at eachother having a silent connection before looking at the couple. “We have one question.”
“What is it?” Draco asked.
“How long?” Fred asked curiously.
“8 months.” Y/n answered confidently.
The twins looked at eachother again before turning back to face the young couple. “One more question.”
Y/n laughed at her brother's antics. “Yes?”
“Not for you.” Fred said smiling at his little sister.
“Oh” Y/n gulped nervously
“You.” The twins spoke at the same time, pointing to Draco.
“Me?” Draco asked worried slightly.
“Yes.” They answered trying not to laugh.
“What is it?” Draco gulped but was ready to answer anything they ask.
“Do you love her?” George asked with an unreadable look. Which un-nerved Draco and Y/n a little bit.
“Yes. I do.” Draco answered after a short moment of thought before looking at Y/n.
“I love you too.” Y/n smiled looking at him, shocked since they were taking things really slow and they hadn’t said ‘I love you’s’ yet.
“Then we’re good.” The twins stated smiling widely.
“Really?” Y/n asked hopeful that she might have at least two of her brothers on her side and ok with her relationship.
“Yeah.” He smiled at her, nodding.
“Thank you, guys! Don’t tell Ron!” Y/n called after them as they left the abandoned tower.
“We won’t!” They called back.
“That was better than you thought it’d be.” Draco commented letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Yeah. I’m glad.” Y/n nodded letting out her own sigh of relief.
“I do think Ron will be a very different story though.” Draco admitted, truthfully he does not think Ron will accept it at all. Maybe not ever, if anything he might just become social with Draco but the young Malfoy doesn’t believe Ron will ever truly accept him. “We’ll deal with him when it comes to it.” Y/n said hoping that the day Ron finds out is very far in the future.
Tag: @gruffle1 @padawancat97
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mychoombatheroomba · 1 month
Text
Don't Let Go
Between the Bones (Leon x GN! Reader) - Chapter 36
You get some unexpected support, and you and Leon come to an understanding that neither of you likes.
(Cross-posted from Ao3)
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They had the day off, but the first thing that everyone wanted was answers.
To his credit, Krauser took the time to answer them all as best he could. 
“Why didn’t you warn us?” 
“I didn’t know.”
“Do they have the authority to even do that?” 
“. . . Yes.” 
“What are they so afraid of us blabbing about?” 
“You’ll be learning that in the coming weeks.” 
“Are those assholes really going to be staying?” 
“Yes.”
Leon stood in the back as the rest of the squad learned what he already knew: what they’d suffered for. What some of them were being sent home for. No one was happy with the answers given, but most understood. Leon understood. The reasoning, at least. Not the practice. Not the torture. He would never understand that. 
Nor would he understand the answer to the question Valeria hissed out, one that had been eating away at Leon, too. The one thing he wasn’t reasonably sure of, on Krauser’s end regarding the whole experience. 
“They had our letters,” she said, her foot tapping against the floor beneath where she sat on her bunk. “From months back.” 
Leon watched shadow overtake Krauser’s eyes, that crease between his brows deepening. 
“Hadn’t heard from my mom. Is it because they held those letters from us?” 
Krauser nodded once, his gaze unwavering even if it was full of regret. “Yes.” 
“And you knew?” Valeria pressed, hurt evident in her features. 
Another pause, before Krauser nodded. “Yes. STRATCOM procedure. No communication with the world outside during training.” 
“So any letters we sent home . . .” 
“. . . Were never sent.”
Top-secret shit, even before the bioweapons were brought into play. 
Not that it made the pill any easier to swallow. 
Still, the Major didn’t try to shift the blame off of himself, even as Valeria fixed him in a scalding glare. If looks could kill, Jack Krauser would be a pile of ash on the ground. “That’s bullshit,” Valeria snapped. “Sir.” 
“Watch that tone, Soto,” Krauser met her, steel for steel. Leon had seen the man make soldiers give him fifty push-ups for mouthing off . . . but he’d also seen him allow Leon to speak his mind. He’d seen the Major listen to Leon’s own concerns, even if the Major seemed to like quite literally everyone else better than him. So, even if he barked at Valeria now, Leon wasn’t surprised when a moment later, the Major just gave her an apologetic look. There were a lot of those that he gave that morning, until there were no more questions. 
None that anyone was brave enough to ask, anyway. 
Their personal effects were passed back out to them - the ones that had been abandoned in the Humvees when Reed and Hellman had taken the squad. Three days ago. Three days and a lifetime, it felt like. 
Just like how Raccoon City felt like a lifetime in one night. 
Pain had a way of doing that, didn’t it? Warping the world. A day became forever, forever became attached to the idea of something terrible. A cage with no bars. He wondered how long he and the rest would be stuck in that cage? How long the bruises would take to heal, how often, like last night, someone would hear movement in the barracks and jolt awake, expecting a blow for having fallen asleep . . .
Everyone was still so quiet as they unloaded their freshly returned packs. Hard not to be when Andersen and the other three who had failed were there, not bothering to join in the unpacking. What was the point if they were going to be gone by tomorrow anyway?
As for the rest, the day was theirs to do with as they pleased, and no one had any idea how to spend that free time. 
Not until heavy footfalls against the floor made Leon and those around him - Alenko, Williams and Valeria - look up, and they found the Major standing there, his hands behind his back. He looked at each of them, gaze sweeping from right to left before landing on Leon and hardening. Sharpening. Leon was sure then that he was about to hear a speech about his failure. About how he’d broken and the only reason that he and Valeria were being allowed to stay were because of Krauser’s own intervention. Or maybe that this entire thing was because of a request that Leon made. He could think of no other reason for the loathing in that stare. 
Instead, the Major looked back at the group as a whole. “Heard you had some trouble back at Fort Benning,” he said, and Leon’s brow furrowed. So the conversation wasn’t going to be about the beatings taken in those cells, but rather the one that he and the others had taken in defense of one another. “Got a call from Commander Cortez a few days back. Said you got into a fight. That you put twelve of his men in the hospital. That true?” 
That, too, seemed like a lifetime ago. Alenko was the one to nod and answer Krauser’s question. “Yes, sir.” He frowned as he spoke, the expression tugging at the splotches of blue and purple on his face. 
Krauser nodded once, his face set in stone. 
“Good,” he finally said, and Leon recognized veiled pride in his eyes. “Make sure you don’t end up in the hospital too, next time.” 
It was one of the few orders that Major Krauser had given in his time here that Leon agreed with. 
Of course, when the Major unclasped his hands and tossed what he’d been holding onto the bunk nearest him, Leon felt an entirely different wave of emotion sweep through him. The little radio rolled onto its back as it landed amidst the scratchy blankets, leaving a flash of recognition to cross Williams’ and Alenko’s faces as they saw it. The same radio that had been in Cortez’s office. The same one you’d somehow stolen for them, that you’d all been listening to on the ride home before everything went wrong. 
Krauser was giving it back to them. 
“And don’t make a habit of stealing from your Commanding Officers.” 
Leon might have laughed, under different circumstances. 
Instead, he found himself even more surprised as Krauser went on, this time looking towards Valeria. “Your letters,” he began, “they were from your mother?” Hellman must have told him, then. Or maybe Krauser had read the letters himself, after the fact. Leon hoped that wasn’t the case. He hoped he hadn’t read through Sherry’s letters before Leon even had the chance to. Still, he knew enough about the contents to ask.
Valeria’s mouth twitched down, and she nodded once in response, stiff and all too plainly upset. 
Krauser nodded too, and again Leon saw conflict in the Major’s face. Whatever combat his thoughts were doing, though, it was over quickly. “I’ll do what I can to get you clearance to write home. All of you.” 
That was all Krauser said . . . but just before he turned away, his eyes found Leon again. Fixed on him like crosshairs. The words spoken were all that were said, but Leon could see that Krauser had more to say. Something lurking just beneath the surface, unformed but sharp. Leon only glimpsed it for a moment, but it was there all the same. Leon almost didn’t care if the Major was angry, now though. Because even if he didn’t have a home to write to, really, he could write to Sherry. 
He might be able to tell her he was sorry for not answering her letters. To tell her he was okay, to make sure that she was alright too. 
So, whatever was behind the sharp look that he received now, Leon just met that sharpness with gratitude. He didn’t get much but a moment of that gaze losing its edge. Just a second or two, and then the moment was gone, and so was Major Krauser, moving down the rows of bunks. He hesitated as he neared Andersen, the older soldier sitting on the edge of his bunk, looking shell-shocked. 
Krauser looked down at him, his jaw tensing as he reached out a hand, patting the other man on the shoulder. 
Then, lifting his chin, he left the barracks. 
More silence followed, until at last, Williams spoke up. “Looks like Sarge was right about him being proud,” she muttered, watching as he stepped through the door. 
There was no doubt in Leon’s mind. Jack Krauser was an asshole. He had a sadistic streak. He liked to push people and he would never apologize for doing it. All of that was still true. 
But maybe you’d been right about more than just Krauser being proud of you all. 
“Do you buy it?” Alenko asked, looking over at Leon. “That he didn’t know about Reed and Hellman?” He didn’t sound overly skeptical. Just like he wanted to be sure. That he needed that one last opinion that reinforced his own. 
You had faith in the Major. Leon had criticized you for that, once. 
Now he understood it better. 
“He’s telling the truth,” Leon nodded, and he could have sworn he felt hell freeze over because he was defending Krauser of all people. “You saw how he reacted to . . .” to your injury. Leon had seen it up close and personal. The shock that mutated into rage. Rage enough to make Krauser nearly do something stupid. 
“Yeah,” Alenko conceded, knowing well enough what Leon was referring to. They’d all seen the concern the Major had for you. The regret he’d hidden poorly as he answered the questions today. He had not meant you all to come to harm. Not like that. 
Didn’t change the fact that you were still going to be hospitalized for who-knew-how-long. 
“Never seen him worried like that,” Williams nodded, shaking her head. 
“Never seen Sarge hurting like that either,” Alenko said, and tensed when he felt Valeria’s gaze turn on him. She was still feeling guilty, Leon could see it. Alenko could too, shutting his mouth when he realized he’d just reminded Valeria of what she’d inadvertently caused. 
Because Reed and Hellman had asked about the two of you specifically. That’s what Valeria had said last night, and those words had Leon on edge. That’s what made him worry even now that there was danger, even now that they were all free of those cells. 
You’d told him last night that you couldn’t risk him being there, and you hadn’t known how right you’d been. 
The two of you had been obvious with your care for one another. So, even if she’d given up information about you two being close, Leon didn’t blame Valeria for what happened. Even if it was clear that she blamed herself. 
Maybe that was why, after a moment, she reached for the radio that Krauser had left on the cot in front of her, and stood. “Come on then,” she said to the group, and her voice had more resolve in it than Leon had heard in a long while. 
“Where are you-”
“We weren’t the ones that stole the radio, right? And Sarge is gonna get a lot more use out of it than we are.” 
It was a day for looking past old angers, Leon found. He hadn’t liked Valeria much before the trip to Fort Benning. That had changed steadily while there. Now, though, as she marched off in an effort to try and alleviate your loneliness, whether to lessen her guilt or because she genuinely cared for you, Leon didn’t care. What mattered was the effort. It mattered that someone besides him cared enough to think of that before he could even voice it. 
And Leon, for the first time in the last few days, smiled. He didn’t hesitate as he stood alongside her, following her as she moved towards the door. It didn’t take long before Williams and Alenko were following along, too. 
⧫⧫⧫
As soon as you heard the knock on the door, you steeled yourself. 
You weren’t sure how you were going to tell Leon. Distancing yourself had been the first instinct. You were good at that. It would be easy. Well, not easy, but doable. You’d done it once before, after all. 
It had left you feeling like shit, and it hadn’t solved anything. 
You’d both promised to talk about what you were feeling. It was a promise you regretted now that it made things more difficult, but you wanted to honor it. You owed him that much. So, you’d torn your mind apart all morning trying to put together the right words. 
Krauser knows-
Reed and Hellman will be watching-
We can’t-
All of them seemed like bullshit, even if the concerns Krauser had raised were valid. Real. Just as the happiness that Leon Kennedy brought you was real, too. The most real thing you’d felt in months, besides that old and aching pain that you could never be rid of. Pain that was dulled and, sometimes, forgotten around the man you’d come to care for so much. The man you’d watched grow into a stronger person, inside and out. The man you would take a thousand hits for. 
You couldn’t just let that go. 
So when you heard that knock, you weren’t sure what the hell you were supposed to do because Leon wouldn’t want to end this. Not now. And neither did you. 
The door opened and you found yourself speaking on instinct alone. “You shouldn’t be in here,” you repeated the words from the night before, not looking up from that spot on the floor you’d chosen as yours. 
And then you regretted not looking up as soon as you heard a smoky but strained voice reply. “Nice to see you too.” 
Your head snapped up and you pushed yourself up from bed, thanking the pain meds in your system for allowing the movement. Valeria didn’t wait to be invited in. Neither did any of the three people following her. Alenko and Williams gave you gentle, apologetic smiles as they followed the shorter woman in, and you felt your heart splinter because you’d thought to spend this day alone, like the last time. You thought you’d have to push Leon away the moment he stepped through the door, just for the sake of keeping up appearances. 
Instead, you found yourself looking at your squad mates with wide eyes. 
And when Leon did walk through the door, you felt that splintered heart break apart when he smiled at you. 
“Hey,” he greeted, and you knew this conversation was going to hurt. Both of you. 
But what conversation was it going to shape up to become? 
You didn’t know, and, as you looked at the four visitors in front of you, you decided that maybe you didn’t want to know, either. 
“Hey,” you said. “What are you all-”
“We got the day off,” Valeria answered. “Figured you could use the company.” 
“If you wanted it,” Leon added, giving you an understanding look. 
You’d been alone during your recovery from Finland. Krauser had checked in on you when he could, but he had a life and duties to attend to. The nurses that pitied you had made for shitty companions. Not that you’d wanted anyone, anyway. Solitude. That had been your companion and your shield. You’d thought just Leon had the ability to break down that barricade around you. 
You’d been wrong. 
It wasn’t quite a smile that you gave the group as you nodded, but it was close enough. “Okay.” 
That surprise and that slight smile only grew as Valeria held out her arm and presented you with none other than the little radio you’d stolen from Cortez’s office. “Think you’re missing this, too.” 
You weren’t sure what to think as you took the radio from her. Valeria seldom did anything without cause. What was her reasoning for this? For being, well, downright kind to you? You didn’t know, and, honestly? In that moment, when you had been so sure you’d been condemned to isolation in every possible way, you decided that you didn’t care, either. 
So, you settled the radio between your hands, fighting back the new kind of pain in your chest. One not born of your cracked ribs or the fear that Krauser’s words had instilled in you. 
This pain was sweeter. One you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 
“Thank you,” you murmured, looking from Valeria, to Leon, and then the rest. 
Valeria just shrugged. “You’re no fun when you’re miserable. So pick a station and let’s fucking relax for once.” 
You couldn’t really argue with that, so you flipped switches and dials until you heard a synth beat and vocals you hadn’t heard in so long. A song from another life. 
“. . . there’s no turning back.”
“Even while we sleep . . .”
“Shit,” Alenko smiled wide as he took a seat a ways away from the bed you sat in. “I love this song!”
Williams just nodded, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall. “Least it’s not the Spice Girls,” she mumbled over her split lip before she looked over at the rest of you who, back in the Humvee, had made her sit through one of their songs. It seemed her opinion of them hadn’t improved. “Respectfully, they’re shit.” The near-apology was delivered with a near-smile to match. 
“Well, Williams,” you found yourself saying, even if your words were muted by the ordeal you’d just been through. Still, there was something familiar there. Something you’d rediscovered at Fort Benning, and were glad to find at your fingertips now; humor. That was what ever-so-slightly colored your words as you told Williams, “ respectfully, go fuck yourself.” 
An Army brat like you, Williams just smirked right back. 
“Help me make the-”
“Most of freedom and of pleasure-”
“Nothing ever lasts forever . . .” 
It made it easier, having them there. There weren’t many words, but there didn’t need to be. You all just listened to the song as it played, finding a comfortable state of quiet between each other. Valeria moved to lean against the wall by Williams’ side. Leon . . . you could tell he wanted to move closer to you. You wanted that too. You wanted it to be just the two of you, like in the hospital in Fort Benning, but Krauser’s warning hung over your head. 
“There’s a room where the light won’t find you-”
“Holding hands as the walls come tumbling down-”
“When they do, I’ll be right behind you . . .”
Being alone with him was dangerous, more so now than it ever had been. That didn’t change simply because you wanted his presence or company. Your desire for him wouldn’t be pitied in a court martial. Not if Reed and Hellman were already looking at you like an infected limb that needed to be cut away.
You needed to heal, and Leon needed to finish this training. You both did. You’d just never thought it would be apart. 
“So glad we almost made it . . .”
So . . . you would be alone with him one more time. At least for a while. 
“So sad they had to fade it . . .”
You hoped he would understand that this was for the best, for now. 
The song eventually finished and you looked up to meet his eyes. You’d learned to speak without words to each other, now. So many stolen glances and nights spent side by side, in training or with him pressed up against the wall of the mess hall, you had a language all your own. Insight into each other’s thoughts. And as you looked into those ocean blues, you saw your own thoughts reflected back at you. 
There was a talk to be had, and both of you knew it. 
⧫⧫⧫
The day went on and eventually the others left. Alenko was first, saying he was going to go in search of food. Had to be desperate, to want what the mess hall served, but Leon didn’t begrudge him. The hunger of those three days had left them all empty just as much as the rest of the experience had. 
Williams went next, saying she needed to move, to make up for those days spent in captivity. Valeria didn’t take much convincing when asked to join her.
Leon almost told them to be careful. To not let the agents see them. 
To not end up in the predicament that the two of you were in. 
A situation that became clear and present, once the two of you were left alone, the radio playing on. 
“How are you feeling?” He knew what the answer would be, but he asked anyway.
“They gave me pain meds,” you shrugged as best you could, “so not that bad right now.” 
At least there was that. Even if you shouldn’t have had to be in the infirmary in the first place. “Have they told you how long you’ll be on bed rest?” Leon asked, because he didn’t want to have the other conversation. Not yet. 
The mirth that had been present on your face, however muted, faded. “It was a six week recovery last time. For the bones.” 
“Six?” The number sounded so much worse than what Leon had imagined. He remembered his own long recovery from the gunshot wound he’d suffered in Raccoon City. It had seemed long then, but he hadn’t been kept from anything. It hadn’t stopped him from living his life. Not that he’d done much living after that night anyway. Still, he couldn’t imagine what this was like to you, because it would be six weeks without physical training. Six weeks without sparring, without being able to clear your head in the way Leon knew you would need. Six weeks of what would be hell to you. 
And if you couldn’t train for combat like the rest of them . . . would you be able to graduate with the rest? With him? 
“You need to keep practicing,” you told him, and by the stiffness of your words, Leon could tell that you were thinking of exactly what he was thinking of. It sounded like you were telling him to go on without you. “Train with the others, but ask Krauser to spar too. He’s the best. He’ll kick your ass, but he’ll make you better.”
“You say that like you’re not gonna-”
“I’m not gonna be able to spar with you, Leon. Not for a while. I’m not gonna be there. You can’t let yourself fall behind with me.” 
The words, while well intentioned, were painful to hear aloud. True, but painful because after months of training with you, he couldn’t imagine not being by your side. He didn’t want to have to train for hell on earth and not know that you would be there to face it with him. 
But you were right. 
As unfair as it was, as completely and utterly shitty, you were right. 
“Okay,” he nodded. “But then when you’re better, we’ll catch you back up.” Because he knew you would need it. He knew you’d want it, too. That after so long letting your body heal, you would want nothing more than to throw yourself back into the swing of things. 
The trouble was-
“Leon . . .” you shook your head, and he knew that the conversation he’d dreaded was here. “Krauser knows.” 
Just like that, the color drained from his face. You’d never been one to beat around the bush, but those words were like being doused in ice water.
“About . . .”
“Us.” 
He felt a pit open up in his stomach that threatened to turn him inside-out, and all he could do was sit on the bed beside you. The jaws were closing in. Had that been the cause of that look from Krauser earlier? Had the Major been looking at him with such disdain because of that?
“. . . Fuck.” It was really all he could say. Why even warn you about Reed and Hellman if the game was already over . . .
“He’s not going to report it.” 
. . . or maybe not as over as Leon had thought. 
“What?” he blinked, turning to look at you without bothering to hide his confusion. Major Krauser hadn’t exactly been by the books, as far as Leon knew, but he’d been so adamant about respecting the order of things. This whole mess had happened because he’d not wanted to step outside the bounds of red tape. Why the hell hadn’t he reported fraternization? 
“Said he doesn’t care. But he also said that Reed and Hellman will.” 
Leon nodded, trying to reconcile all the mismatched thoughts and solutions buzzing around his mind. 
“So he’s saying he won’t stop us but if we get found out we’re fucked.” 
You just nodded, the air growing heavier and heavier with each moment. Because Leon knew where this was going, just as much as you did. 
Leon pursed his lips, looking down. “They asked about us during the interrogations,” he finally said. “Reed and Hellman. Valeria told me they were asking.” 
It was your turn to frown, he could see it out of the corner of his eyes. He wouldn’t rat Valeria out, but you deserved to know that the agents were onto you, even if Krauser wouldn’t be the one to confirm it.
Why wouldn’t he confirm it?
“Then they’ll be watching.” 
Leon nodded once, feeling emptiness beginning to set in. “So what do you want to do?” he asked, dreading the answer because he’d heard the distance in your voice last night, and he could hear it even then. He’d heard it once before, after you’d kissed him that first night and tried to convince yourself and him that it was a mistake. 
The difference was that, then, he’d seen that emptiness in your eyes, too. He’d seen you retreating into yourself. 
He knew you well enough now to know that the look that he saw in your eyes didn’t match the attempt at distance in your voice. Because, as you turned your gaze up towards him, Leon could see only conflict. Only you, a casualty of the crossfire between what your mind had to be telling you and what your heart wanted. When you answered, that conflict was all the more apparent. “You know what I want. But we have to be smart about this. Because if Krauser knows - and has for months now - then Reed and Hellman will pick up on it too, and they’re already gunning to cut me for this shit,” you gestured down to your ribs, and Leon swore he heard your voice waver.  
“They wanted me out, too,” Leon admitted, and he watched some fear seep into your expression. “Krauser convinced them to let me stay.” 
And again, Leon found himself wondering why?
“They wanted . . . why?” you asked. Why they’d wanted Leon gone - that’s what you were asking about. 
“Because I broke,” he admitted, his voice hushed. Not ashamed, but overwhelmed by other emotions. “When they were hurting you, I had to get them to stop. So I was going to tell them what they wanted to know. Right before Krauser got there.” 
You looked at him then, silent, your eyes piercing his own. Searching and seeing straight through him, just as you always had. 
You had suffered on account of him. It was the last thing he ever wanted for you, but you’d endured it. You’d taken pain for him, in fights and behind bars, and you’d been taking pain from him for far longer. With your company, with your touch. You’d helped each other learn to walk again. It was what had made him fall in love with you, even if it had been something that happened to him at the end of your knife. 
He loved you. So, he made a decision. 
“Look,” he went on, turning to face you more, feeling something in him building. A resolve or a desperate hope, he wasn’t sure. “I’ll focus on training. I’ll work with Krauser, I’ll . . . I’ll only visit you with the others, if you think it’ll be less suspicious. But I’m not leaving you here by yourself. I’m not letting go of this. I can’t do that. Not if you don’t want to let go, either.” 
He watched you, feeling emotion overtaking him. Bearing down on him, nearly making him shake because it had all been too much. Raccoon City. STRATCOM. All the hurts he’d suffered - that you’d suffered - and the best thing to come from it all had been this. You. 
So, his throat constricting, he hoped that you felt the same way. 
For a moment, he worried, because you were staring at him like he was something you could never have. He saw the regret in your eyes, the tension in your body, like you were bracing for some great pain. It all faded, though, and the corners of your mouth turned up just a bit. The dark of night graying as the sun tried to appear once more. 
It was all the warning he had before your lips were on his, and Leon felt the resolve he’d built up for months, the guard he’d put around himself in that prison, crumble. Emotion and relief flooded him, and his hand shook a bit as he lifted it to your face. It was different from the kisses the two of you had stolen in the shadows. Different than the sweet one he’d given you in the hospital at Fort Benning. This was all longing. Wordless in its declaration. He held you gently, no longer needing to memorize the feel of you but trying to hold on to every detail anyway. 
Because he didn’t know when he’d next get the chance to kiss you. Or hold you. Or be with you the way he wanted. 
But he wasn’t letting go. 
“I don’t want to let go, either,” you told him, your lips against his. “I don’t know when we’ll be able to-”
“Neither do I,” Leon admitted, as the words tore at him. “But . . . we’ll find a way.” 
He had to believe that. 
He had to believe that this wedge being driven between the two of you wouldn’t change what he felt. And to that end, he would watch. He would find moments of safety for the two of you, he would learn to play the spy game if it meant he could steal a few heartbeats with you. He’d wait for those moments, and he’d wait for you. 
However long it took. 
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