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cutelittlestar · 4 years

Text

Unconditional Love || Peter Parker x Reader

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While on a mission, you get exposed to an unknown substance, causing you to fall in love with the infamous soldier, Bucky Barnes. Peter, on the other hand, gets extremely jealous and angry, wishing that he was the one you fell in love with.

Word Count: 5.9k

Warning(s): swearing, angst, fluff mentions of blood and pain, fem!reader, avengers!reader, physical fighting, sad petey :(

A/N: I was hella bored, so I wrote this imagine for you guys. Hope you enjoy this story!

*gif is not mine

“Where are they?” Peter asked in a panic tone as he paced around the room, biting his fingernails. You and Bucky were sent on a mission a few hours ago, but both of you should’ve been back by now. As the sun was slowly disappearing, horrible scenarios started to develop in Peter’s mind, and he feared that something terrible happened to you or Bucky. What if you were hurt? What if you or Bucky couldn’t escape? What if you were captured? Peter thought to himself. For a short moment, Peter feared that you were killed, but he quickly got rid of the thought, not wanting to think of the dreadful possibility. Peter couldn’t lose you, not like this. Peter pulled his hair in frustration, hating that he couldn’t do anything but wait. You and Peter were friends since high school, and you were the best thing that happened to him; he didn’t want to live in a world without you, and his heart burned, hating that he couldn’t confess his deepest secret to you before you left.

“You need to relax, Peter,” Steve stated, attempting to ease him; Peter was pacing around the room for what seemed like hours, but Steve couldn’t blame him, he had every right to be worried. However, Steve had to remain strong for the sake of his team.

Peter quickly turned around, irritated that Steve and the others were sitting down and not expressing the same fear he had. “How can you remain calm?” Peter said in disbelief, growing hot by the second. Tony, Nat, Steve and the other briefly looked at one another, not knowing how to respond. While all of the Avengers feared that you and Bucky were in serious danger, both of you were well aware of the risks. Bucky and you knew that one day, you might not return, but it seemed as if Peter was ignoring that horrible scenario.

“I’m scared too, Peter,” Steve continued, standing up and walking towards him. Steve grabbed Peter by the shoulder and reassuringly squeezed it, “-but we have to wait.”

“I can’t lose her,” Peter heartedly confessed, his voice cracking. “I need her. I can’t live without her because-,” Peter closed his mouth as he realized he almost confessed his true feelings towards you. Although the strong emotion was slowly destroying him from the inside, Peter remained quiet.

However, Peter didn’t have to say anything else. “I know,” Steve softly whispered, knowing the exact reason Peter was so agitated; it was clear that Peter was deeply in love with you, and the mere thought of losing you was causing Peter to completely break down.

Suddenly, the bright red alarm started to quickly flash in the room, disrupting Steve and Peter’s heartfelt conversation. Friday announced that you and Bucky had returned, but judging by the loud alarm and the distressed tone of Friday, it alerted the group that something was wrong. Within seconds, they all ran down the hallway and towards the door. Looking through the glass windows, Peter watched the quinjet shakily land and he immediately felt relieved, knowing that you were back. Unfortunately, that emotion rapidly disappeared as Peter watched a bloody and frail Bucky walk out of the quinjet with you in his arms, your body unresponsive. There were cuts and bruises scattered around Bucky’s face, his clothes were torn, and it looked as if he took a beating. Yet, Bucky’s main concern was you, and he continued to limp towards the group, hoping they could do more than he could. Bucky was on the brink of collapsing him and Peter wasted no time, running towards you as fast as he could.

“What happened?!” Peter hastily asked, feeling his heart drop as he examined your body. You had the same, if not, worse injuries than Bucky, but Peter’s eyes immediately focused on the large gash across your stomach.

“Am-ambush,” Bucky weakly answered. He attempted to explain more, but no words came out of his mouth; Bucky’s body shook with such intensity, but before he fell on the floor, Steve stepped in and held him by the shoulders.

“Quickly, Peter,” Steve rushed out, “take Y/N to the emergency room.” Peter hastily took you away from Bucky’s arms and sped down the hallway, with Tony and Bruce right behind him. Kicking the door open, Peter laid you on the medical bed, stepping aside as Bruce began to work. Sweat was dripping down Peter’s face, and he tightly held onto your hand, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Please, Y/N.. please wake up,” Peter choked out, pushing your hair away from your face. Your eyes were closed but you softly let out a whimper once you heard Peter’s voice; your minor movement indicated to Peter, Bruce, and Tony that you were still alive. Peter let out a sigh of relief, placing a tender kiss on your forehead, but his heart continued to rapidly beat in his chest, unsure of what was to come next. Bruce grabbed the scissors and began to cut off your suit to further inspect the gash on your stomach. Once the fabric was removed, Bruce stopped moving, his eyes widening in the process as he stared at your stomach. Peter took note of Bruce’s sudden change of behavior, and Peter’s eyes landed on your wound once again, only this time, he felt his panic grow stronger.

“What the hell is that?” Peter exasperated in shock and horror, unable to believe what he was seeing. Your stomach was covered in a layer of sweat, blood, and dirt, but instead of the injury gushing out blood, a thick concentration of pink substance was seeping out. Bruce and Tony glanced at each other but immediately continued to clean your injury. Peter closed his eyes and turned his head away as Bruce attempted to close your wound, and Peter held onto your hand tighter, rubbing his thumb across your delicate hand.

You groaned in pain as you felt a needle prick your skin, but you patiently laid on the bed until Bruce was done bandaging your wounds. You felt someone tap your shoulder, and you slowly opened your eyes as you were met to face Bruce, Tony, and Peter. Your breathing becoming erratic as you were unable to find Bucky but Peter instantly grabbed your cheek, forcing you to look into his eyes. “It’s okay, Y/N, I’m right here. You’re going to be okay.” Tears were spilling down Peter’s cheeks, and your first instinct would’ve been to wipe his tears, but instead, you moved your face away from Peter’s touch and began to look around the room.

“Wh-Where’s Bucky?” you inquired in a worried tone. Peter felt a lump form in his throat as you slipped away from his touch, but he disregarded his pain, knowing you were anxious for Bucky’s condition.

Peter cleared his throat, “he’s with Steve right now.” Your breathing was becoming heavier by the second as you hated the idea of being away from him.

“I need him here, please!” you shouted in pain and sadness, tears quickly forming in your eyes and sliding down your face as Bucky was no longer by your side. Peter watched as you screamed Bucky’s name, and within a second, Bucky came barging into the room. Bucky’s eyes hastily darted around the room until he met yours, and he sped towards you, placing his hand above your head; Peter felt his heart break as he watched you gravitate towards Bucky, and he felt an unsettling emotion grow in the pit of his stomach as he watched your hands land on Bucky’s chest.

“I’m here, don’t worry,” Bucky reassured you, rubbing your head with one hand and holding your small hands with the other. Peter’s face fell as he continued to watch the intimate interaction, but nothing could’ve prepared him for your next words.

“I love you, Bucky,” you admitted, causing everyone’s eyes to widen. Peter’s mouth opened in shock and tears began to fall; his heart utterly shattered into a million pieces as he watched your loving eyes stare into Bucky’s, but he failed to realize how Bucky didn’t reciprocate those emotions. Instead, Bucky froze, unable to believe your words. That couldn’t true, Bucky thought to himself. You once told him about your feelings towards Peter, there was no way in hell that you were in love with Bucky.

“Uhh,” Bucky breathed out, attempting to step back, but you tightly held onto his fabric, refraining him from doing so.

“It’s true,” you professed, “I can’t help it, Bucky. I’ve always loved you, and I want you to be mine forever.” Bucky felt his face turn red from embarrassment as he continued to stare into your eyes, but as you finished your sentence, he noticed something unfamiliar and unsettling. Your eyes weren’t your usual color; instead, Bucky noticed a faint hint of pink cloud around your pupil until it expanded and covered your irises, the color becoming brighter and impossible to not notice.

While Bucky was examining your eyes, your hands sneakily snuck around Bucky’s neck; in a swift movement, you pulled him closer towards your body and placed a long, loving kiss onto his rough lips. Bucky eye’s widened in pure panic and shock as your lips collided with his, and he tightly grabbed you by the shoulders, disconnecting your lips and forcing you to lean back onto the pillow. You let out a giggle as you wrapped your hands around his waist and pulled him closer, placing your head against his chest. You turned your head, noticing how all eyes were on you and Bucky, but you didn’t seem to mind; Peter and the rest of the team felt as if the room was swirling and all of their mouths dropped to the floor, unable to believe what they saw. Despite everyone seeing you passionately kiss Bucky, they were more worried about how your eyes were a different shade of color and your flamboyant behavior with the soldier. Bruce quickly connected the dots, figuring out that the wound on your stomach, which oozed a strange pink substance, could explain why your eyes were a different color.

Peter felt his blood boil but also extreme sadness engulf him. He wanted nothing more than to land a hard blow on Bucky’s cheek, but he knew it would be wrong of him to unleash his anger onto Bucky for something he couldn’t prevent. However, something was very off, and it deeply displeased the team, especially Peter. Peter turned around to face Bruce and Tony, hoping they could explain what he had to witness.

“What the hell just happened?”

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

While you were resting in the emergency room, the rest of the team were patiently sitting in the conference room, thinking of possible explanations to your odd behavior. Peter angrily leaned against the chair, burning holes at Bucky.

“Tell us what happened on the mission,” Steve said, glancing at Bucky, hoping that they could find the solution to their problem if they went over every detail of the mission. Bucky sat on the chair as Bruce bandaged the cuts around Bucky’s face and body; Bucky let out a sigh as he rubbed his forehead, feeling horrible for not being able to protect you nor having a proper explanation. He ignored Peter’s glare as he attempted to think of any specific information that could be relevant.

“Everything was fine in the beginning,” Bucky affirmed, “but then as we were about to leave the compound, we got ambushed by Hydra soldiers. Y/N and I were fighting the men until one of the bastards cut her with a dagger.” Tony nodded his head, listening to the words of the winter soldier.

“Was there anything on the blade? A weird substance?” Tony asked.

Bucky shook his head, not recalling anything on the blade. “I didn’t see anything on it, but the minute they hurt her, they retreated back to their base. I carried her back to the jet and she immediately passed out when we left.”

Natasha directed her attention away from Bucky to Thor, hoping the Asgardian God of Thunder could provide more about this strange topic. “Thor, is there anything that you know about magic that could explain Y/N’s weird fixation on Bucky?” Thor leaned against his chair, taking a second to think of any possible supernatural explanations.

“Actually,” Thor announced, gaining the attention of the team, “there is.” Peter felt an intense flood of relief wash over him, glad that there was a reason that you fell in love with Bucky. It’s not real, Peter reassured to himself, you’re not really in love with Bucky.

“It seems as if Y/N was put under a love spell. Judging by the pink substance that was coming out of her wound and her eyes turning into a bright pink color, the person behind this has to be doing supernatural or witchery activity. Bucky is the first person she saw, which explains why she’s deeply in love with him.”

“A love spell. There has to be a cure, right?” Nat further asked, hoping they could quickly resolve the issue. She knew how much this was hurting Peter the most; although the affection you were showing to Bucky was not real love, Nat saw how much it broke Peter’s heart. She was willing to do anything to get you back to normal.

“There is. But, we don’t know the spell, so there’s no way we can reverse it. In order to get her back to normal, we need to find whoever put this spell on her,” Thor disclosed.

“Then the viable solution is to head back to the compound and find the person,” Peter suggested to the team, his eyes desperately pleading. The team was silent as they stared at Peter, but before Peter could say his idea, Bucky interrupted him.

“I doubt the Hydra soldiers are still there. They’re long gone by now.”

“Then what the hell do you suggest!?” Peter angrily countered, slamming his hands on the table in frustration. Peter closed his eyes and tried to think of something positive, but the image of you kissing Bucky fueled his anger. Peter let out a sigh, removing his hands off the table, softly apologizing for his sudden outburst.

“We’ll find them,” Steve remarked, assuring Peter that they’ll bring you back to your usual self, “in the meantime-” the sound of the doorknob wiggling caught Steve’s attention, and he stopped talking as he watched you enter the room. Peter quickly stood up, wondering why you were walking despite your conditions.

“What are you doing Y/N? You need to be resting,” Peter stated in a worried tone, walking towards you; your eyes were still a bright pink color, and all Peter wanted was for you to get a proper night’s rest.

“What do you mean? I’m fine, see?” you lifted the shirt, revealing to Peter and the team that you weren’t hurt nor in extreme pain. The gash was gone, but Peter was still anxious, not knowing the effects of the love spell. As Peter tried to force you out of the room, you stepped away from him. You ignored his protests and began to scan around the room until you found the person you were looking for. You brightly beamed as your eyes landed on Bucky, and you pranced towards him, pushing Bruce to the side and sitting on Bucky’s lap. You began to place kisses on Bucky’s cheek, despite Bucky trying his hardest to push you away without hurting you.

“There you are,” you said in between kisses, wrapping your arms around Bucky’s neck. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, sweetie. Did you know I love you? because I do,” you continued to ramble on, playing with the hair strands that fell onto his face.

“Please stop,” Bucky groaned, hating every second of your affection, but you pretended to not hear his comment. All eyes were on Peter as he stood by the door, his fist clenched by his sides. He absolutely hated every second of it, but there was nothing he could do. Until they found the person who cast the spell, Peter would have to deal with your hectic yet romantic remarks and actions. He hated Bucky so much as this moment, but at the same time, he was envious, wishing that he could take Bucky’s spot. Once again, Peter felt his eyes water, but he wiped his tears and cleared his throat. A melancholic expression was embedded on his face, but before Tony could comfort him, Peter turned around.

“Let me know when you reverse the spell. I’ll be in my room,” Peter sadly confessed, walking out of the room and slamming the door shut.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

As days went by, Peter’s attempts to stay in his room until you were back to normal was futile due to the fact that Bruce and Tony desperately needed him. The rest of the team went on various missions in attempts to find the culprit, but they always showed up empty-handed. Therefore, as they continued searching, Bruce and Tony decided to stay in the lab to see if they can create a reversible cure, and Peter was another great mind that can help them during the process. However, Peter was not fond of it. This meant that he would be out of his room, and there would be a higher probability of seeing you with Bucky. Although it already hurt Peter enough since he constantly thought about the various types of affections you were giving to Bucky, his room was like a shield, and it protected him from reality. On the other hand. Peter was glad that he was working with two great scientists; hopefully, their chances of finding the cure would be far greater.

One day, after hours of trying to find a solution and failing miserably, Tony thought it was best to take a break. “Hey, kiddo, how about you relax and eat something in the kitchen? I’ll be there to join you soon.” Although Peter wanted nothing more than to go back to his room, he didn’t want to say no to Tony, so he begrudgingly nodded his head and headed towards the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t bump into you nor Bucky. As usual, he was wrong. Once he entered the kitchen, he saw you digging through the cabinets, observing as you took out the cake mix and a tray.

“Oh, hey Pete,” you greeted, setting down the objects on the table. You gave him a smile, to which Peter softly returned, but Peter looked around, baffled that Bucky wasn’t there with you.

“Where’s Bucky?” Peter wondered, but his voice was seeping with rage and jealously. He knew it was childish of him to speak like that, but he couldn’t control his anger.

You ignored Peter’s rude tone, “in his room. Do you want to bake a cake with me?” Peter weirdly eyed you, confused as to why you weren’t chasing after Bucky, but he decided to disregard it. If this meant that he could spend any time with you without Bucky getting in the way, then Peter would happily accept. Peter felt his stomach twist with happiness, and he gleefully nodded his head.

“Of course.”

And for a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal. Despite your eyes being a different color, you were acting like your usual self. You were playfully joking around with Peter, you were jamming to your favorite songs, and you were dancing around the kitchen, with Peter following your movements. It was the little things like these that made Peter realize why he was so in love with you. The energy you brought to the room instantly made Peter’s day better, despite the adversity he faced. While a part of him regrets not having the courage to confess his real feelings sooner, being here with you eased the pain. After you carefully covered the strawberry cake with frosting, you leaned back, a satisfactory grin plastered on your face. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Peter admiringly stared at your face but turned his attention away from you to the cake. “It really is.”

“Wait!” you gasped, turning around to face him. You roughly grabbed him by the shoulders, bringing him closer until he was inches away from your face. Peter felt his face get redder by the minute as you proudly smiled at him. “We forgot something!” Peter opened his mouth but you already began digging through the drawers, searching for something. “Aha!” you exclaimed in delight, holding up a red decorating pen. You quickly took off the cap and began to carefully write on the cake, and Peter felt his heart warm as he watched you bite your lip in concentration. As Peter moved to the side to get a better view of what you were writing, his smile immediately dropped as he read the phrase over and over again in his head.

I love you, Bucky

You placed the cap back onto the pen, setting it to the side and turning to look at Peter. Within an instance, you engulfed him in a tight hug, squeezing him as hard as you can, but Peter stood still, unable to speak nor move. You broke away from the hug, grinning at Peter. “Thanks for helping me make this cake for Bucky! I’ll make sure to tell him you helped me.”

No matter how many times Peter tried to convince himself that you didn’t mean those words, it felt impossible. Watching you be in love with Bucky shattered Peter’s hopes and dream, but he forced himself to smile, not wanting to ruin your gleeful attitude. “Of course, Y/N. Happy to help.” You gave him another smile before turning your attention to the cake, prudently picking it up, planning on delivering it to Bucky’s room.

“I’ll make sure to save you a slice,” you promised Peter before saying goodbye and walking out of the kitchen. Peter stood in the middle of the room, his smile quickly disappearing once you were far away. A lump formed in his throat, and although Peter tried his hardest to swallow it, the lump remained lodged, stubbornly rooting itself in his mouth. Just as Tony finally appeared in the kitchen, Peter stormed out, hastily walking towards his room with a distressed expression on his face.

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the last interaction he had with you or Bucky. Instead, Peter had to endure various incidences, and every time, he had to swallow his anger and pretend nothing was wrong. He would try to focus on anything that could distract him, but it wouldn’t keep him engaged for long. Every now and then, his eyes would land on you, and it felt like someone was digging a knife in his chest. Whenever Bucky was in the living room sitting on the couch, you would be pressed up against him, your head laying on his chest. Whenever Bucky was in the kitchen or the dining room, you would always sit next to him and hold his hand. You followed Bucky around like a lost puppy, and it was torture for Peter. All of the things you used to do with Peter were no longer happening anymore, and it made things worse for him. Now, he was utterly alone, and although the rest of the team would try to include Peter in their activities, Peter would always decline. Moreover, Peter hated how bright and beautiful your smile was because he wasn’t the reason for it. Peter hated how you looked untroubled and delighted whenever Bucky was by your side. Most of all, Peter absolutely loathed how much Bucky looks unbothered by your undying love for him; Peter noticed the way Bucky would return those smiles, or how he would hug you tighter whenever you laid on his chest, or how he didn’t seem to mind your touches; it absolutely enraged him because Bucky didn’t love you the way Peter did, nor will he ever.

Days turned into weeks, and Peter finally lost his patience. After numerous times of either walking out of the room or remaining quiet, Peter couldn’t take it any longer. Now, Peter stood in front of Bucky’s room and was harshly knocking on his door, ready to confess his true emotions to let Bucky know how much this was destroying him.

“Open up, Bucky! We need to talk,” Peter roughly shouted, growing angrier by the second as Bucky didn’t answer the door. “I know you’re in there!” There was another moment of silence, but Peter could clearly hear Bucky shuffling inside the room. Without any hesitation, Peter grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, swinging the door open. As he entered the room, Peter stopped moving, his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach and his body shaking from immense rage at the sight in front of him. Bucky was dressed in nothing but his boxers, and Peter’s eyes flickered towards you, watching how you failed to cover your body with a towel. Peter’s breathing became erratic as he glared at Bucky.

“Peter,” Bucky panted, putting on a shirt and trying his best to distance himself from you, “I promise you, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Not what it looks like?!” Peter shouted in rage and betrayal. “It’s exactly what it looks like!” Tears started to pour down Peter’s face as he assumed the worst, but he quickly wiped the tears away. Pure hatred started to course throughout his body, taking complete control, and without a second thought, Peter charged at Bucky, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him against the wall. You let out a scream as you watched Bucky’s face turn red, but his attempts to push Peter away were useless.

“You fucking asshole!” Peter roared at Bucky, tightening the grip he had on Bucky’s neck. “You think you can just manipulate Y/N like that? I’ll fucking kill you!” Within a second, Peter lifted Bucky up and tossed him across the room, his body hitting the wall; the amount of strength Peter used caused a huge crack to form on the wall, and Bucky doubled over, the impact catching him off guard. Bucky groaned in pain, but he, too, felt his anger become stronger as Peter attacked him without giving him a chance to speak. As Bucky attempted to stand back up, Peter fully charged at him, colliding with so much strength that they both managed to break the wall entirely. Due to his spider abilities, Peter was the first to stand up, and he roughly grabbed onto Bucky’s shirt. Peter curled his hand into a fist and aimed it at the bridge of Bucky’s nose. Blood splattered all over Bucky’s face and onto the floor, but Peter continued, landing punch after punch, despite your screams and sobs. Within moments, the team shows up to separate Peter and Bucky, and as Tony and Bruce grab Peter by the shoulder and successfully drag him away, Bucky manages to stand back up with the help of Sam and Tony. However, Bucky shakes off their grip and counters with an upward cut to Peter’s jaw, causing him to stagger backward and fall down. Peter angrily spits out blood, but before he could charge at Bucky again, Peter lays on the floor as he watches you gingerly hold onto Bucky’s face, delicately rubbing his jawline in attempts to calm him down. The mere sight of seeing you pick Bucky over Peter caused him to immediately break down; Peter’s lips trembled and a gut-wrenching sob tore through his chest once he realized what he’s done.

“What the hell is wrong with the both of you?!” Steve furiously shouted. Peter looked away due to embarrassment and regret, and he slowly stood up, wiping the blood running down his mouth. Everyone’s eyes prudently observed Peter as they expected him to fight, but Peter’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Bucky felt immensely guilty for what happened, but he didn’t say a word either.

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered out, wiping his eyes to the point that they were red and swollen. “I’m so sorry,” Peter repeated before turning around and running down the hallway.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A day after the incident between Peter and Bucky, the team finally managed to find the person who cast a spell on you, and within a few hours, the love spell was finally broken. However, Peter decided upon himself that what he did was unforgivable, and he didn’t deserve to see you. Peter let his rage and jealously take control of him, and he unleashed his pent up emotions onto Bucky. Peter didn’t deserve any love nor forgiveness; no matter how much it broke him because he couldn’t be near you, he also knew that it was a worthy punishment. He feared that you and the rest of the team couldn’t look at him the way you did before, and it absolutely terrified him. Peter pricked at the skin around his nails, completely unfazed as a long layer of skin was ripped from his ring finger, causing a small ounce of blood to seep out; Peter felt completely numb. This was his breaking point. Although the team tried numerous times to speak to Peter, he would either ignore their remarks or scream at them, telling them to leave him alone.

However, you yearned to see Peter, despite what happened a day ago. You knew he was feeling extremely guilty, but all you wanted to do was be by his side and console him. Therefore, this was the reason you were standing in front of his door; you hesitantly knocked, listening to him slightly move but no response came out of him. You knocked again, putting a bit more force, causing Peter to rise from his bed; he didn’t want to yell at the person standing in front of the room, but he was already growing tired of explicitly telling the team that he wanted to be left alone.

“I told you to leave me alone,” Peter spat as he came closer to the door and began to unlock it; Peter intentionally made sure every word reeked of frustration so the person got the gist that he wasn’t fooling around. As Peter grabbed the doorknob and slightly opened the door to personally confront the person, he felt his heart drop once he realized it was you who was standing in front of his door.

“Y/N?” Peter said in disbelief, completely taken aback; he thought you would want to be as far away from him, but yet, here you were. You sorrowfully stared at Peter, noticing how there were tear stains on his face; his eyes were completely red and swollen and you wanted to engulf him in a hug, but you were afraid that he would push you away. You gave him a soft smile, and you pulled your hair behind your ear. “Can I come in?” you gingerly asked him. Peter opened his mouth, but no words came out; instead, he nodded his head, opening his door and allowing you to come into his room.

Your eyes wandered around the room as you were unsure of how to start the conversation, but you looked into his eyes and gave him a half-hearted smile. Peter returned the simper before it quickly disappeared; his face distorted into one with fear and guilt. “How’s Bucky?” Peter managed to say.

“A broken nose, but he’ll be alright,” you said, noticing how Peter flinched once you told him the truth. You gave him a reassuring smile, but you knew that what you were about to say next was going to make him feel horrible. You let out a sigh, hoping he wouldn’t beat himself up. “I know you think that Bucky was trying to take advantage of me, but that’s not what happened. It was the love spell’s fault, not Bucky’s; I snuck into his room while he was taking a shower, and I tried to seduce him, but he quickly turned me down, saying that it wasn’t the real me, just some chemical in my body that made me believe I was in love with him.”

Peter opened his mouth but no words escaped. He heavily groaned as he walked towards the bed and sat down. You followed his movements, but you left an immense gap between you and him; you were still unsure of what he wanted, and you wanted to respect his boundaries. “Fuck, I look like a fucking idiot now.” There was a thick silence that engulfed the room, but you waited for Peter to continue, hoping that he would tell you more about how he felt. After a minute or so, Peter spoke out. “I didn’t mean to get so angry,” Peter confessed, a solemn look embedded in his facial features. The image of you on Bucky’s bed caused Peter to shake with rage, but then it quickly died down. “But, when I saw you in that bed... I just lashed out. I’m so sorry, for everything; I understand if you or the others don’t forgive me.” You sorrowfully watched Peter’s slouched body, and you took it as a cue to move closer towards Peter. You slowly grabbed his hands, causing him to flinch, but then he instantly relaxed. Although his reaction was capricious and terrifying to witness, you also believed that Peter knew what he did was unjustifiable.

“It’s okay, Peter,” you conveyed, giving him a tight squeeze, “everyone knows you feel guilty, but you shouldn’t carry that guilt until the day you die. As long as you know that what you did wasn’t right, then the others will forgive you. We miss you, Peter. I miss you. A lot, actually.” Peter turned his head as he listened to your words, his heart warming as you tried to make him feel better.

“I missed you too,” Peter revealed, earning a smile from you.

“Can I tell you something?” you whispered, afraid that if you said it loud enough, you would regret opening your mouth. Peter nodded his head, leaning further into your touch.

“Anything.”

“I love you, Peter Parker. More than anything in this world, and I’m sorry that I waited so long to tell you this, but after everything that’s happened, I couldn’t hold it in,” you unveiled, feeling your face turn red as you watched Peter stare into your eyes. The silence that followed after caused your heart to beat faster, and you instantly regretted saying those three words to him. Just as you were about to stand up and take back your confession, Peter slowly reached his hands out and gingerly placed them onto your face.

“I love you too, Y/N, and my love is unconditional,” Peter revealed before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. Time stopped when your lips met his, and the feelings you had for Peter only intensified. Your heart pounded in your chest and you felt your body shake; the raw emotions in the way his fingers cradled your face only confirmed that his love was real. At that moment, every breath he took smelled like you, a coconut scent, and he adored every single millisecond. The warm feeling was inviting, and it caused you to pull him closer.

You broke away from the kiss after a while and opened your eyes; it felt as if his lips were still on yours. Peter’s eyes brightened, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you, unable to believe the intimate moment you just shared.

Finally, you stood up from the bed and grabbed Peter’s hand in the process, pulling him up. You gingerly held onto Peter’s face, placing a soft kiss onto his lips as his hands rested on your waist. You smiled into the kiss before breaking away, tugging Peter out of the room. “C’mon. Let’s make Bucky a ‘sorry I broke your nose’ cake.”

294 notes · View notes

blueboltkatana · 3 years

Note

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

#warning long post #long post #i am sorry #after intense study of this species i diagnose her with #gay homosexual gay #thank you everyone

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adrrianraines · 5 years

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shackles

genre: romance book: bloodbound pairings: adrian raines x reader insert song inspiration: kings and queens and vagabonds—ellem

disclaimer: my very first fic for the fandom! hella

EXHAUSTION WAS ONE of the strongest emotions you felt as you slumped over the couch inside Adrian’s office. Hell, it might as well be an understatement. It had been a long day—a long week even. When was the last time that you’ve had peace? You barely even remember. You slouched on the couch, hair strands sticking everywhere as you stared at your shaking palms, the rush of adrenaline slowly leaving your body.

You stared at your hands, flashbacks of the events just hours ago invading your mind with arrogance. You shut your eyes tightly, trying to forget the horror of what happened and what you did.

Murderer.

A voice echoed deep within your consciousness.

You’re no different from them.

”Are you alright?” A soft yet stern voice asked as you felt the space beside you sink, jerking you out of an emotional disarray that is currently your thoughts.

You turned towards the owner of the voice, a small and weary smile plastered upon your lips as you whispered her name in acknowledgement. “Kamilah. What’s up?”

”I can sense the dread a feet away.” She bemused, the expression on her face a bit bland. Though you caught on the flash of worry in her eyes.

”You’re one to talk.” You chuckled, though mirth was no where found on your tone. “I’m okay,”

The brunette studied your physiognomy for a few moments, possibly weighing out her options of whether to wait for you to talk or leave you be. It seemed that the latter won because she let out a sigh.

Kamilah was not the one who would push someone to spill their gut—quite figuratively—if one had no desire to open up. She’s not being pushy about it either.

”I’ll leave you be.” The words rolled out of her mouth as quickly as she rose. Her footsteps slowly fading away in the distance, silence now reigning in the area.

The room is quite heavy, per se. Each person inside the room had their spots wherein they were lounging about. You had a talk with Lily a bit earlier before she eagerly got up and looked for something to sooth her thirst.

Oh how you sincerely wished you had her enthusiasm at the moment.

You talked to them — Jax, Kamilah, Lily and then Kamilah again — each and everyone of them except one.

Adrian.

For some reason, guilt crept your system as you swept your gaze around his office. Heck, you couldn’t even lay your eyes on him for more than a few seconds. A morbid voice kept ringing inside your head of accusations you can never deny.

Murderer.

“What the hell...” Clenching your fists, you shut your eyes tightly, trying to forget how her dead body looked like. How you mercilessly pulled the trigger. How the arrow went through her skull. How she fell limply on the muddy terrain, a whole in her head and a look so ghastly it might as well be forever embedded on your brain.

You killed Nicole.

All moral capabilities left your side the instant this thought sank. Your hands were bloodied. You took one life away and now it’s starting to weigh you down. Slowly, painfully until it was sure it will drown you down to the pits of despair.

It was for self-defense! The woman was evil! She was gonna kill me!

Several voices fought inside your head, all unwilling to back down. The clatter in your brain was severely heightened by the emotional guilt and the moral err you have committed.

You clutched your head, in hopes that the voice would shut up. The internal turmoil was making your head hurt so bad you’re feeling a bit light headed. Fatigue was slowly catching up. The ache on your legs was more evident than earlier. But what was running rampant was the voice inside your head.

Was it your conscience? You were human, after all. The woman was awful, yes, but was it really you who had to decide her judgement? Did you have the right to execute?

It was the right thing to do...! For self-defense...!

No matter how many times you tried to make these claims sound morally plausible, it wouldn’t. It shouldn’t have been you. You shouldn’t have stained your hands with her filthy blood...

The decadent room didn’t help your guilt ease a bit. Your mind played images of Nicole, alive, working and minding her own business before you came. How she could have lived her life as she wanted it if you never stepped foot in Raines Corporation. If you remained ignorant of the real world. Of their world. The image of her dead face haunted your mind like a broken record, whispering menacingly, murderer... Murderer... Murderer...

If you hadn’t come back at Raines Corp office that night, then all of this wouldn’t have happened. For sure, that mandrake extract could have waited? Those split second decisions turned everything around, your fate could have turned a different way. No lives would’ve been traded. Lily wouldn’t have been attacked—she could’ve stayed as a human if you hadn’t stuck your nose to where it didn’t belong.

Maybe... Just maybe... the debriefing would’ve been the better choice..?

She was going to kill you — she was out for your blood... It was the right thing to do.

No...

It’s what should be done.

I could’ve talked to her—

There was no other way.

That’s not—

MURDERER.

You gasped for air as if you were drowning, the dilation of your pupils returning back to normal as you readjusted your vision, specks of tiny stars slowly coming in to view.

”Are you alright?” Your head jerked towards the figure kneeling in front of you, granite eyes scrunched with worry. His thick brows were furrowed as he gently caressed your cheeks, wiping a lone tear that rolled down.

”Adrian...?” Your voice croaked, throat dry as you swallowed the lump that was threatening to get out. “I... What...”

“I was so worried...” You felt yourself being enveloped in a tight embrace, the coldness of your flesh being chased away by his warmth.

Kamilah, Lily and Jax were now hunched towards you—Lily sitting at the empty space beside you while rubbing your back—Kamilah looking both curious and worried behind Adrian.

“You alright there?” Jax queried, the look on his face seemingly disturbed and hella bothered by your sudden episode.

”You were groaning in so much pain, clutching your head with your hands...” Adrian breathed, fingertips brushing the side of your face to tuck away a stray hair. He whispered gently, as if he was trying to ease the pain, his voice a soothing lullaby. “Tell me, where else does it hurt? I’ll make it feel better.”

The look on his face was so broken it almost made you choke. Your eyes softened at the man before you, taking in all the cuts in his features that were starting to heal. His suit was a mess, his tie loosened and the several bruises around his neck that were starting to heal brought back the slaughter you witnessed earlier.

But damn it all. Adrian Raines was the perfect mixture of heaven and hell combined. The morality he shows outweighs the complexity of decisions his path has taken him as one of the immortal life forms that ever walked the earth. This complex man lay his emotions bare. He openly showed you a weakness that you can see up close.

And for some reason, you were alarmed by it all.

“Adrian...” You began, barely choking your words out. “I’m sorry... I killed-” You couldn’t even dare to continue the sentence. It was all too much.

He looked confused for a moment before realization hit him like hail. When you stared in his eyes, the room faded in the background, everyone else didn’t matter and now it’s just you and him.

”Don’t be. It was the right thing to... do.” Adrian bit his lower lip at the last word. Even he had a hard time finishing his sentence. Anger flashed by his countenance as he recounted the fight and it disappeared as quickly as it came. “It was bound to happen.”

”No, I didn’t wish for it to happen, I swear—” In a swift motion, you felt him cup your face as he gently brushed his lips over your own. He nipped at your bottom lip as you gasped, granting him access inside your mouth. His tongue swirled inside as you let out a soft moan, fully taking him in. All of him. He had a cut on his lip that was healing, causing you to taste him in your mouth. A mixture of metal and salt danced in your taste buds. His agony and regret washed over you, as you tasted the blood in your mouth.

The two of you broke free when you heard a couple of snickers and one intentional clearing of throat. You felt yourself flush at the thought that you made out with Adrian in front of everyone without reservations. In which, for the record, the two of you have never done before.

”Weeeeeellll... we’ll be around!” Lily snickered suggestively. “Don’t hold back, ‘kay?” The slight teasing on her tone only intensified the shame that you felt for being vulgar with your affections. The deep shade of crimson engulfed your cheeks in flames as your gaze darted from Adrian and then towards your friends, and back at Adrian again. He only managed a small smile as he lightly shook his head in amusement.

”We have to party! I mean, come on, we have a reason to celebrate!” Lily exclaimed excitedly only to earn an exhausted groan from Kamilah. You watched Lily link her arms with her, dragging her away, the older vampire grumbling in her wake as an answer.

”Uh— I’ll be by the, er, bookshelves.” Jax, clearly not having any idea as to why he was still idling around, immediately walked away without even looking back.

“Feeling better?” You can almost hear the smirk in his voice as he moved to sit beside you, arms wrapping around your shoulders. And when you tilted your head to look at him, you saw how he was gazing at you so softly, metallic hues searching your own.

You nodded as you leaned against his solid frame, forcing yourself to drown out the unfamiliar voice inside your head who kept repeating the same words over and over again.

Murderer.

You closed your eyes, trying to resonate with whatever it was that lied beneath the surface. These words kept reverberating in your consciousness, unable to put two and two together. You could almost pinpoint it, the existence was there, but it’s way farther from your grasp. You couldn’t have been more thankful with Adrian who tried to disentangle you from your train of thoughts.

“Now that I have the chance.... I wanted to thank you... for everything that you’ve done. For saving my life and having my back.” A small, warm smile spread evenly on Adrian’s lips as he moved to kiss you once more, a kiss that lingered with a promise. “I owe you. I lost count of how many times however... I promise to always keep you safe from here on. I... care for you.”

Adrian’s words were like a promise. A promise of a better tomorrow. A promise of a peaceful companionship.

Perhaps, even, a promise of something more.

You let yourself be enchanted by his voice, hoping that it can drown away the demons that lurked beneath the shadows. But, at the back of your mind, you knew that everything was far from over. The voice inside your head let out a sinister laugh as it said, slowly but surely, almost a taunting promise, the words,

Humans are indeed fragile little things.

And what scared you the most was how you found yourself agreeing to it.

#playchoices #playchoices fanfiction #adrian raines #adrian x mc #kamilah sayeed #lily spencer #jax matsuo #writings

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scorbleeo · 4 years

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The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4) | Book Review

by Rick Riordan

Synopsis

Hazel stands at a crossroads. She and the remaining crew of the Argo II could return home with the Athena Parthenos statue and try to stop Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter from going to war. Or they could continue their quest to find the House of Hades, where they might be able to open the Doors of Death, rescue their friends Percy and Annabeth from Tartarus, and prevent monsters from being reincarnated in the mortal world. Whichever road they decide to take, they have to hurry, because time is running out. Gaea, the bloodthirsty Earth Mother, has set the date of August 1 for her rise to power. Annabeth and Percy are overwhelmed. How will the two of them make it through Tartarus? Starving, thirsty, and in pain, they are barely able to stumble on in the dark and poisonous landscape that holds new horrors at every turn. They have no way of locating the Doors of Death. Even if they did, a legion of Gaea's strongest monsters guards the Doors on the Tartarus side. Annabeth and Percy can't exactly launch a frontal assault. Despite the terrible odds, Hazel, Annabeth, Percy, and the other demigods of the prophecy know that there is only one choice: to attempt the impossible. Not just for themselves, but for everyone they love. Even though love can be the riskiest choice of all.

Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12127810-the-house-of-hades

Thoughts

For some odd reason, I always find myself in a state of surprise at how much I love Rick Riordan’s books. Here’s why. I usually read one of his books once in a while because I do not want to reach a day where I have to wait for his next book. Sarcastically, the horror indeed. And because I do that, I usually only vaguely recall loving Riordan’s works but never fully understanding just why or how much. Hence, the surprise. Which is why I’m here to conclude, Uncle Rick’s books are magic.

If it’s not obvious enough, yes, I thoroughly enjoyed and loved The House of Hades. I have been wary about The Heroes of Olympus series every time I pick a book – from the series – up. This is due to the fact that I absolutely love the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, and in addition, I love the characters in that series, especially Percy Jackson. Why do I get wary with The Heroes of Olympus then? Because it does not always focus on Percy and the amount of major characters doubled. Yes, it is still taking me a while to accept the “new” characters.

Plot (storyline, writing style, and flow of story etc.)

I must say, so far, The House of Hades has my favourite storyline in the series. I enjoyed the Argo II crew, mainly because I love Nico and Leo, and Hazel is finally starting to grow on me. What I really enjoyed, was Percy and Annabeth’s journey through Tartarus. That was something else and every part in Tartarus kept me captivated the entire time I was reading it.

Honestly, if this book had only focused on the Argo II crew’s journey, I would probably be bored out of my mind. Sure, I liked that part where Leo was stranded on Calypso’s island, and the part where Nico and Jason met up with Cupid. But other than that, the flow was boringly stagnant. The progress was slow and so when the Tartarus parts came up, I sprung into speed-read mode.

I hope you understand where I’m coming from. Like come on, when we are at the Tartarus bits, there’s Bob and Small Bob. Even the challenges or monsters Percy and Annabeth encountered were so much more interesting than Argo II gang. So, once again, Percy Jackson along with his wonderful girlfriend, Annabeth Chase, saved this book for me.

Characters

Is it obvious I really love the OG characters? I mean, I smiled widely when Rachel and Grover appeared for that tiny part. If you’ve reached this part of my review, you probably can tell I absolutely adore Percy and Annabeth. And I will never forget to mention my cinnamon roll, Nico di Angelo. These characters will always be my beloved.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the “new” characters. I used “” only because we are on book four already, so they aren’t really considered new anymore, semantics-wise. On the bright side, Leo has definitely grown on me, and I would like to thank his sarcasm and sense of humour for that.

Additionally, I found myself liking Hazel a lot in The House of Hades too. I honestly cannot remember what I specifically thought about her in the other books, but she matured a lot from what I can recall. Apart from Annabeth, Thalia, Clarisse and (now) Reyna, Hazel is another one of those kickass female demigods.

As for Jason and Piper, I do not dislike them but I do not find myself loving them too. Like what Hazel said, Jason’s too perfect. And Piper...in her own my-mother-is-Aphrodite-so-I’m-hella-charming way, she’s sometimes considered too perfect as well. Perfect characters are usually not fun to read about.

I guess, this finally brings me to Frank Zhang... I appreciate his growth and new-found maturity. But nope, there’s still nothing about him that I like. He is probably the only character I dislike, or at least he’s the only one I remember disliking and the feeling does not change in The House of Hades.

Conclusion

How does one tell if a book is a good book? How does one confirm an author writes beautifully?

When the author is able get his reader (in this case, me) to mourn for a Titan and a Giant. Sure, I am exaggerating here now but Bob and Damasen’s inclusion in The House of Hades was meant to shatter me via an overload of emotions, the good kind.

I noticed tears were forming when I reached the last few sentences of this book. They were the simplest words one can use and they brought out tears from me. THAT is what I call beautiful writing for a magnificent book.

Rating: 5/5

PS: Bob says hello.

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abramowitzm · 4 years

Text

axel auriant, cis-male, he/him. → look out, there’s NIELS O'HERRING. you know, the 22 year old BROTHER of GAMMA PHI EPSILON. you know, i overheard someone say that they were FLIPPANT, FOUL-MOUTHED, WAGGISH and QUICK-WITTED. but that’s just rumours. TURTLENECKS WITH T-SHIRTS, MEANINGLESS TATTOOS, MASKING YOUR EMOTIONS WITH AGGRESSIVE SARCASM come to mind when i think of them. what about you?

“tell me something. did you really put her liver in the mailbox? because i heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.”

he’s, like, one-third scandinavian, but born in belfast. raised in the uk, his family moved from ireland to essex when he was six.

his mom’s a huge business lady, dad was an interior designer. his parents divorced when he was thirteen, and two years later he lost his dad in a house fire.

and everything kinda just went downhill from there? niels’ life became a series of unfortunate events, changes that he could do nothing to prevent and this constant feeling of emptiness. niels was a huge daddy’s boy. they bonded a bunch, shared love for film. the loss of his favorite relative was devastating, and living with his mom and her new lover only made things worse.

a year later, when niels is sixteen, his mother marries the new dude and they decide to fuck off to america. of course, homeboy is dragged along, very much against his own will.

they start an illusion of a big, happy family. his mom, this rich prick thomas, his two shit children and then niels. they buy a gigantic house somewhere in seattle and.. that’s just their life from now on.

the two years of high school suck ass and that’s the truth. in between eating lunch in the bathroom stall and attending way-too-wild-for-his-liking parties, niels also finds himself thinking there really, really must be something up with him. now while all of his lads are getting laid somewhere, he gets high on the living room couch, hoping maybe that will help him find all these girls at least slightly… arousing?

has had like two girlfriends, but it was all very forced and way more friendly than romantic. for a while he kinda just assumed he was either asexual or fucked up, but then he developed a lil crush on one of his mates and that was like ??? red flags ??? hello , what !?

had a hard time accepting his sexuality bc.. being gay wasn’t really an option in his household?

was teased by his step siblings and didn’t get along with his step-dad, at all. the mood around the dinner table was always tense. at some point, he stopped coming home until v late, when everyone was asleep.

graduated high school and moved right the fuck out. applied for college in fuckin’ arizona bc he rly jst wanted to get away?? majors in film!!

became a full on sardonic asshole at the age of 20. that’s when boy decided that nothing rly matters and he can just do things… his way??

personality:

he’s a bitter lil dude, however doesn’t take himself too seriously. sarcastic, blunt, always got this real displeased look on his face? looks like he’s ready for death, but that’s just his resting face, tbh. tad pretentious, but that’s legit all of my muses ever, doesn’t trust easily, bit of an outsider but way more outspoken than he appears.

constantly high. catch him 420 blazing it all round the town, buddies!

got a stupid sense of humor, lots of dumb jokes that don’t rly make sense and sentences that are basically just random words thrown together?? ridiculous, but at least he’s aware of it.

doesn’t like to take stuff seriously and covers up all emotions with uncalled for sarcasm and one-liners that feel absolutely off the bat.

sometimes feels sad but it’s ok cuz he got pills for that. has been on anti-depressants since he was seventeen. sometimes he takes a bit extra and gets bit.. weirder??

majority of the things he does, he does out of spite. likes to think that in the end?? nothing really matters.

love and romance?? never heard of him. basically, has a hard time processing feelings, would rather chop off his fingers than admit to someone that he loves them.

doesn’t stop him from occasional hook-ups, but he really likes to think of those as meaningless.

additional info no one asked for but you’re getting it anyway cause i got high and now i’m fucking babbling. enjoy:

huge horror movie nerd!! he grew up watching friday the 13th and halloween and now he has a bunch of little stick and poke horror movie tattoos. did some of them himself bc guess what? turns out boi can also kinda sorta draw a bit. got a bunch of stupid, drunk tattoos as well lol.

his basic outfit consists of some striped turtleneck and an oversized t-shirt with some mom jeans, mismatched socks and these shoes, i’ve decided.

some of his fav bands are the killers, gorillaz and the ramones.

used to deal drugs for the lols but then got kinda bored of it? still, he knows where to get shit so if u need anything … hit him up. he knows ppl.

i imagine he’s pals with a lot of band kids and lowkey.. would love to be in a band himself but? he can’t play any instruments and singing is a huge no-go. instead he just shoots music videos for the lads!

likes to paint his nails sometimes. usually it’s just two on each hand or smth tho.

looks like the kinda guy who’d think of himself as hella edgy but ?? he rly doesn’t. like, at all.

insomniac.

got this weird british/irish/american accent bc living in different places and talking to bunch of different ppl has messed him up a bit ok.

wcs: pls gimmie some pals, maybe a trouble squad that’s got this kinda like skins/derry girls vibe?? lolol some ex flings, current flings, ppl he gets stoned with, ppl he gets drunk with, ppl he can have a laugh with on the roof at 3 am when neither of them can sleep, film buddies, something angsty, something sad, pls i’m here for it all!

#clovers.intro #tw: death #tw: fire #tw: drugs #tw: slight mention of homophobia??#tw: depression #tw: me using scream quotes instead of writing an actual ooc intro

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noccalula-writes · 4 years

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What are your favorite games and franchises? Top 5?

OH BOY have I got feelings on this subject.

Please keep in mind - I’m a storyteller and a writer. I fucking /love/ a good story. I DM a DnD game and my biggest weakness is that I don’t often include enough combat because I am so much more interested in telling a story. So for me, there’s got to be an emotional investment for a game to really land. I also hyperfixate like a motherfucker so I often refuse to pick up new things purely because there’s not enough space in my head for them at the time, so I’m slow getting to things as they come out.

So, I’m first and foremost a survival horror bitch. I cut my teeth on Parasite Eve before I played any others - my mother scrimped and saved and fought her way through Wal-mart back in like 1998 to get me the original Playstation gaming console and Tekken 2 (which was my first PS game, I played it in an arcade near her barber shop as a child - Tomb Raider 2 was my second). The old Playstation discs at that time came with demos for different games, including Metal Gear Solid, which I replayed until I could have done it in my sleep because poverty meant I wasn’t likely to get another game anytime soon. I mention this because the Parasite Eve trailer used to give me nightmares but I was super, super hooked.

I am a huge Silent Hill fan. Huge. That is a tragedy I could write a whole ‘nother post about, because as excited as I am to finally get my hands on Death Stranding (again, poverty, so it’ll be another minute before we can get a PS4), we’ll never get another SH game again unless some major reconciliation happens with Kojima and Konami, which is unlikely (and also hard to hope for - I’m happy Kojima now has the creative freedom to go as balls to the wall as he wants).

I am an equally huge Resident Evil fan. I’ve always maintained that my first fandom was The X Files, but my wife pointed out a few nights ago that my RE love started around the same time in the late 90′s, so now it’s a chicken and egg kind of thing. Point being, it’s either The or One Of my longest lasting fandoms/interests. RE and Silent Hill get compared to one another a lot - RE7 did nothing to help that - but they really are apples and oranges to me. Fruit, sure, but two totally different tones and experiences.

I’ve been a huge Tomb Raider fan for forever - my first high school boyfriend was loaded and bought me Angel of Darkness to come play at his house and while it was def critically panned, I do recall enjoying it - so that’s been fun to get those games remade with updated graphics. I’ve only played the one but the others are def on The List.

So now that I’ve talked for an hour, my Top 5 fave games ever -

#1 - Resident Evil 3 I am beyond jazzed for this remake, and a lot of people in the 90′s complained about RE3′s lack of clear cut boss battles, but I don’t know what they’re talking about. The entire fucking game is a boss battle - Jill vs. Raccoon City, and of course, Nemesis, who used to give my mother nightmares and caused me to sleep with a leaf-stabber by my bed for years. Jill is far and away my favorite protagonist in RE; she’s got a resilience of the spirit that somehow isn’t conflated with naivety, which is uncommon in ‘nice’ female protags. She’s savvy but she’s still kind, and she’s committed as fuck to survival - not to mention, as zealotous a Chris and Jill shipper as I am, she and Carlos had hella chemistry and I’m excited to see where that goes (JD Pardo would have made a fuck of a Carlos Oliviera, btw). It was An Experience and it’s forever at my #1.

#2 - The Last of Us

There is no comparison for emotional weight in video games, as far as I’m concerned. SPOILERS if you don’t already know the ending (this game came out in what, 2014?) but to me one of the biggest thing in the game’s favor is that the protagonist made the wrong choice. He had an option to potentially eradicate the cordyceps fungus and maybe save the world, turn the tides back for humanity, and with the weight of the world in the balance, he chose to save Ellie instead. It was, on a global scale, the wrong choice - but it was the human choice. It was the thing that a dad who never properly grieved his dead daughter would do for the surrogate daughter he inherited by accident. As for Ellie, there is no other character quite like her in games, and she’s fucking quality LGBT representation, especially considering how little we see queer children in media. I still cry every time, we play this game twice a year like clockwork and every single time, I still cry.

#3 - Silent Hill 3

All of SH’s games will have a special place in my heart - and if you wanna talk shit about Downpour, I’ll meet you in the Denny’s parking lot at 11, you better square the fuck up because I will defend Murphy with fists - but 3 is the best, hands down. I felt like it did the best job of streamlining the series’ ... uhm... somewhat complicated lore into something more understandable. SPOILERS: The villains are horrific - the Missionaries strike fear into my heart every time I play, and Claudia eating a miscarried god fetus to become god herself? Fucked up on a level you rarely see. I suppose if you didn’t catch it in the last sentence - your protag Heather vomits up a fetal god late in the game. Yes, you read that right. The best thing about this game though? Heather. I could climb up my feminist soapbox and talk about Heather as a subversion to video game tropes all fucking day - she’s a nonsexualized teenage girl whose father is killed for her character development. She’s self-sufficient, tough but still vulnerable, and hard as nails in a fight. As I might have mentioned a time or six, she also voluntarily aborts a god because Fuck Your Plans, She’s Got Her Own.

#4 - Final Fantasy X

Listen. I don’t know how much of this is because of actually enjoying playing the game and how much of it is emotional attachment. As most of you who follow me know, my mother died when I was sixteen. When I was about fourteen, I dated a rich kid who used to bring his PS2 to our very not-rich house and play games for us to watch - the sort of neophyte version of Watching Guys Play Videogames, if you will, which is another rant for another time. He got a Gamecube specifically so I could play RE Zero and Hunter The Reckoning. He was a neckbeard but he was also desperate to keep me from ditching so he did the smart thing and plied my very poor ass with money and food. The #1 game in the watching roster, though, was FFX - and if you know anything about the game, you know how heavily spirituality features into the story. My mother, very caught up in a very Eastern Philosphy Meets Quantum Physics internal seeking about the nature of things, was hooked from the word Go. She used to sit and watch Trey play for hours - we all did, but having her join us and love it that much? Wonderful. Half my memories of this game are both of us crying - crying when Yuna dances to send the souls, crying when Yuna reveals she’s on a suicide mission, crying when she and Tidus fall in love anyway, crying when she sends her Aeons to die in the final fight, crying over ‘the fayts are waking up’, crying when the big reveal about Auron comes up, crying crying crying. My wife bought it in 2011 and I watched her play through it again and while it suffers from the same issue as all FF games - too much filler and weird battle scenarios - it was cathartic. I miss my mom.

#5 - Resident Evil 6

Eat my entire ass. You already knew this was coming. I will defend this game to my grave for the fact that we have complex, interesting narratives surrounding female characters who have actual personalities. Was it perfect? No. Did it take RE out of horror territory and move it more into action? Woefully, yes. Is this series deeply problematic for where it chooses to set down your mostly-white protags and have them kill their way through? Big time. Don’t gloss those facts. But it’s got emotional punch in spades and a few weird character breaks that ended up being kind of brilliant - Chris has been so resiliently relentless in his fight against bioterrorism that a major PTSD break was inevitable. Leon would of course risk life and limb to help Helena, even though she implicated herself in something terrible. The icing on the cake to me was a grown up Sherry Birkin, wide eyed and believing like hell in the fight she thought she was on the right side of and getting knocked down only to get back up. Ada’s entire side campaign was brilliant. I hate some of the control choices they made in this game - the running from the Haos scenes near the end of Chris and Piers’ campaign makes me want to eat my own fist - but so it goes with most RE games (until RE4, moving your protag was like driving a tank). Jake and Sherry are My Unsinkable Ship. There are at least six scenes across this game that never get easier to watch - when the bomb hits the city and the cut scene of the mass infections begin, I still get sick to my stomach - and that, to me, is the mark that this game struck a hell of a chord in terms of storytelling.

This was long.

#noccalula answers #this was fucking long #ask and ye shall receive #vidja games

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modestmuses-a · 5 years

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5, 6, 11, 18, 21, 23, 26, 30, 34, 35, 43, 50 - ekko

//CAS I ALREADY DON’T SHUT UP ABOUT THIS BOY AS IT IS. WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE ME AND SUBJECT MY FOLLOWERS TO THIS?? i’m gonna have to fuckin readmore this for length because Christ…

Unusual Headcanons | accepting

5. How many blankets / pillows do they like to have on their bed?

One of each. When it’s exceptionally warm out, you can nix the blanket. Although, “blanket” is kind of a strong word for it. It’s really more of a threadbare rag at this point. When it gets cold out, he does think, “Hm, I better replace this,” but then he immediately forgets about it upon waking up and getting on with his day.

6. What do they normally dream about? Nightmares or nonsense?

Thanks to time travel fucking with his circadian rhythm, it’s very rare for Ekko to get any more than three or four hours of sleep at a time. More on that here.

But his terrible non-existent sleeping patterns, coupled with a whole host of repressed negative emotions that he hasn’t properly worked through because he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems, mean his nightmares are frequent and severe. Usually of the ridiculously gory variety. His nightmares typically end with him dying in some over-the-top, Final-Destination-esque way.

(Speaking of, my favorite death from those movies is from the third one, where the girl stumbles backwards into a nail gun and takes several nails through the back of her skull right out the front of her face.)

If you were to watch them, like, as a horror movie, some of them might be laughable. (If you’re into that sort of thing.) And indeed, he does try to laugh some of them off, although whether it’s genuine laughter or him trying to put on a brave face and again refusing to acknowledge that he’s got Issues is up for debate.

11. Bar soap or liquid? Do they like loofahs?

Bar soap. No loofahs.

18. Do they prefer cats or dogs? Or neither?

Ekko doesn’t really have a preference! He’ll drop scraps down to stray animals when he has the scraps to spare, and he’s made a number of furry friends of both species this way. Sometimes, you’ll just see random animals tailing him as he walks through the city, ‘cause they’re hoping to get more food out of him. He feels guilty when he doesn’t have anything to give them.

21. Did they have any fears growing up that they’ve since conquered?

Ekko used to be afraid of trees when he was younger and would always hold his breath when he walked by the cultivair. This is because he heard a story about a man who accidentally inhaled a tree seed and ended up growing a tree in his lung. He now knows that it’s ridiculous to be afraid of trees for that reason since the odds of it happening to him are infinitesimally small, but he’ll still tell people the story of Ol’ Tree Lung whenever they pass the cultivair, regardless of how many times his present company has heard it before. Most of his friends are sick to death of Ol’ Tree Lung by now.

23. How do they show fear? Sweating, shaking, blankness, anger, etc?

Ekko shakes something fierce when he gets scared. He also starts stammering and messing up sentences on account of his brain working much faster than his mouth. He’ll start a sentence and not finish it. Tries to restart the sentence slightly different this time and doesn’t finish that one either. Starts a sentence, cuts it off, starts a different sentence about a completely different thought, loses track of that one, too.

desperately tries not to cry

26. What are they most passionate about? What could they debate about for hours?

Ekko is passionate about… eating the rich. When are we bringing back the guillotine again?? kfhdgkdf

No, but seriously, Ekko is pretty adamant about “Capitalism sucks” and believes that the best use of wealth is providing for those less fortunate than you. He doesn’t have a lot, but he’s always using what he does have to help the Lost Children and his parents first and himself second. He sees people living these lives of luxury, and it makes him sick ‘cause he’s just like… *gestures @ starving orphans* “Y’all wanna like… maybe do something about this sometime?”

He believes that no one should have that much money for any reason because they should be putting it towards making society a better place instead of just… sitting on it. There is a reason I associate Billy Talent with him (and why “Man Alive!” is his main verse tag) and it’s because they have a lot of songs that just absolutely shit all over capitalism. I made a playlist for Ekko, and the first four songs on it are Billy Talent criticizing capitalism for the flawed, soul-sucking system that it is. (Three of the four are from the Dead Silence album.)

Anyway, Billy Talent tangent aside since I can’t control myself…

On April Fool’s, there were a couple IC posts of rich characters saying, “Rich people don’t have rights!” but then claiming to be exceptions to the rule. Like, one of them said, “I have rights ‘cause I didn’t choose to be rich. I was just born into a rich family.”

And let me tell you, I had to physically restrain Ekko ‘cause he was p i s s e d. He was in time-out that day, haha! “Oh, I’m so sorry, it must be so hard for you to have been born into a life of privilege,” he fumes to himself in the little corner I’ve trapped him in. “NONE OF YOU ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE! NONE OF YOU HAVE RIGHTS! AND WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES, YOU’RE GOING TO THE GUILLOTINE WITH THE REST OF ‘EM!”

Me, desperately trying to calm him down like, “No, no, shh, look at the date! It’s probably just a joke!”

He’s like, “IT FUCKING BETTER BE.”

Tl;dr: Nothing gets Ekko riled quite like rich people being shitty and annoying.

I was also going to mention that Ekko’s passionate about maintaining hope and will argue the importance of not giving up and not letting bad situations turn you into a bad person, but this answer is already hella long, so here’s a brief passing mention of it lmao

30. Is there something about their personality they want to change?

Ekko is… angry deep down. Or maybe not even so deep down. Maybe right there, just under his skin. And he wishes he wasn’t.

He often questions his own goodness, wondering if he’s not just Fake Nice to conceal the wretched thing he actually is. If you skim the top layer of sweetness off of him, you’re left with this horrid, bitter, hateful little beast. Or that’s what he thinks sometimes, anyway.

Whether it’s justified or it isn’t, anger is such an ugly emotion, and he’s worried it’s going to cause him to hurt someone he cares about someday.

I often worry about my portrayal of Ekko and how damn inconsistent it is sometimes ‘cause in one thread, he’s this sweet helpful angel who wants to do his best, and in another thread, he’s more bitter than the blackest coffee, but like. This be why. He’s a good person. Just deep down, he’s angry about A Lot, but even deeper down, he’s an even better person. He feels like his anger is the thing standing between him and being the best person he can be, and he wishes he could get rid of it, but alas, it seems to be stuck to him.

I mean, maybe it wouldn’t be if he ever bothered to resolve any of his Issues, but y’know. Helping others comes first, so :’) He’ll worry about helping himself when he’s dead.

34. Are they the jealous type? What are they most likely to be jealous of?

Hmm, I wouldn’t say Ekko is much of the jealous type, no. Like, his anger towards rich folks isn’t because he’s jealous of their lifestyle or wants what they have. It’s because he wants them to be decent fucking people for once. It doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, but he’s content stomping around in the gutters. He does wish things were easier on his parents, but he can’t complain about the life of freedom he’s been allowed to lead up to this point.

He doesn’t really get jealous of other people’s relationships either. Like, I mentioned in a reply to Draven that in the Academy verse, Ekko has a crush on Ahri. (But only in the Academy verse.) But like, he doesn’t really get jealous when she dates other guys. In fact, he expects it. He hasn’t said anything about his crush on Ahri (although it’s probably a bit obvious), and he’s never going to because he doesn’t expect anything to come of it. He lowkey doesn’t want anything to come of it because he feels like it’ll just make the dynamics in their friend group weird. So, really, he’s got no problem with her dating whoever she wants.

35. Are they possessive over their things? Or over other people? Both?

The only thing Ekko is especially possessive of is the Zero Drive, for obvious reasons. It’d be just… the worst to have that fall into the wrong hands. Time travel is a huge responsibility, Ekko says as he abuses the shit out of it to skip class and get infinite Halloween candy. Can you imagine what would happen if any of the shadier characters in LoL had the ability to time travel??

He isn’t particularly possessive over the rest of his things, though, and he’ll frequently give stuff up to people he feels could use it more.

As for people… I wouldn’t call him possessive, so much as protective. He might seem a bit possessive of his friends at times, but it’s only because he’s trying to keep them out of trouble. Whenever he tells people, “I don’t want you hanging out with so-and-so,” it’s not because he’s being possessive, it’s because so-and-so has Bad Vibes written all over them.

In the modern/K/DA verse, he’s friends with Akali before she gets famous. She ran away from the dojo and lived on the streets for a while, and it was there that she met Ekko, and honestly, he probably did a lot more than he realizes to keep her out of trouble. Who knows what kind of bullshit her dumb ass would have gotten into if she hadn’t been trying to set as good of an example for Ekko as she could?

Anyway, modern verse Ekko despises modern verse Shen. Akali gets back in touch with Shen, and Ekko is extremely vocal about how terrible he finds this whole idea.

And it’s not that he’s possessive of Akali. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When she needed to leave him to join K/DA, he let her go ‘cause he understood that was her big dream and it wouldn’t have been fair to keep her there. She was destined for better things, and he wanted to see her get off the streets.

But it’s just that… he’s heard stories about the way she was treated at the dojo, so when she tells him she got back in touch with Shen, he gets pissed and tells her that she can’t expect him to support her ripping open old wounds. He’s just scared that Shen’s going to hurt her again, so when she tries to introduce the two of them to each other, Ekko’s cold towards Shen at best and openly hostile towards him at worst. He might be inclined to strangle the guy if Akali didn’t have herself situated between them in a somewhat fruitless effort to ease the tension.

43. Do they like living alone or with another person / other people?

Ahaha, Ekko is a huge people-person, actually! I think he’d just die if he had to live alone. A big reason he spends so much time away from home and out on the streets is because his parents are never home, and the house feels too empty without them. He’ll roll back home in the evening, when his parents are getting off work, to enjoy their company for a bit before they both pass out, but unless somebody else is there, he doesn’t want to be either.

If he had to live alone, there wouldn’t be any point in him having a house or anything ‘cause he’d literally never stay there. He’d always be out chasing adventure and other people’s company.

50. Where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years?

God, this is hard because the thing is that Ekko is terrible at making plans for the future, especially long-term plans. Thinking about the future causes him major stress, especially when he thinks of possibilities that might involve him relinquishing some of his freedom, which is a lot. Like, he has no desire to go to school or join the workforce - at least not in any sort of traditional way - or any of that, and the fact that he’s not going to be 16 forever is just something that he prefers not to think about!

Anyway, let’s take a crack at it, nonetheless…

In two years, Ekko hopes to have worked up the courage to tell his parents he doesn’t want to go to the academy in Piltover. Listen… he’s working on it. But like, he thinks at least part of the reason they work so hard is because they’re trying to put money back to send him to school, and… he’s really torn about it. He’d feel guilty if they kept working to send him to school without knowing he doesn’t want to go, but he’d also feel guilty if he told them he doesn’t want to go and crushed all their hopes and dreams. So, really, it is a lose-lose.

But hey, two years is plenty of time to work up the courage, right?

In five years, Ekko’s unsure of whether he’ll still be living with his parents or not. He knows that he wants to get them into a nicer house, and as such, he’ll likely have to find some way to make money other than thievery. So, he might consider commercializing an invention or two.

He knows his parents are fond of Piltover for whatever reason, and he would reluctantly let them go there, if they wanted. That’s why he isn’t sure if he’ll still be living with them or not because if they do choose to go to Piltover, he’s absolutely staying behind in Zaun. He wants them to be happy, but he’s not going to abandon Zaun like that. Plus, he can still come visit sometimes, so it’s like… whatever.

He would also like to make a little more progress on the Z-Drive by this point, maybe getting it to the point where he can go back days instead of only minutes. Just in case. You never know when that thing you did three days ago is gonna come back around to bite you in the ass.

In ten years, he’ll be 26 and probably (sadly) a bit old to be running around doing dumb teenager things. Still, he can’t see himself abandoning the Lost Children. They’ll still need someone, you know? A large part of his mission with the Lost Children has become keeping them out of trouble, more or less. The bad kind of trouble, anyway. Keeping them away from chem-punks and out of the factories and away from drugs and potentially dangerous augmentations, so on and so forth.

He’d like to keep doing that, keep helping kids stay out of bad situations. Maybe start some sort of home for them, where they can come get a bed and a warm meal. Or something like a school, but where they’re allowed to study what they want and hone the skills they think will be most useful to them, instead of some arbitrary curriculum they’re not even interested in. Maybe a bit ambitious for only ten years, but… he hopes to at least be on his way to that sort of thing by then.

He wants to see Zaun be a better place, and children are the future, and he doesn’t want to see any of them fall through the cracks. If there’s any hope for Zaun to get better - and he believes there is - it starts with its children being happy and safe.

So, his plans are currently:

Tell his parents he doesn’t want to go to the academy.

Get his parents somewhere nicer ‘cause they deserve it.

Improve time travel maybe.

Find a way to get as many children out of harm’s way as humanly possible.

And that’s basically it.

#hc: ekko #hc: akali #shensheng aoman #building nothing out of something [answered]#//i'd apologize for this taking so long but like #//you asked for it #//also i have to tag this as an akali headcanon too #//it's difficult for me to talk about modern verse ekko WITHOUT mentioning his friendship with akali #//bc it's very important to me!!#//anyway enjoy your essay #//*casually writes an 8-page thesis about ekko*#//seriously if you format this like a school essay #//with 1-inch margins 12-point times new roman double-spaced #//it's 8 pages long #gore tw #//i guess i should also include that tag #//for my inability to resist mentioning the nail gun scene from final destination 3

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thelittlestspider · 5 years

Note

💜👻

@mvcreates

💜- top 3 favorite lines

hmmmm. okay forewarning: this is gonna be long. also spoilery.

1. sage “kills” owen.

[warning(s): car accident, violence, torture, blood, guns, gunshots, and crying.]

sageis driving when the tires are shot out, causing them to spin out andflip over a bridge. Sage is hella pissed. Like burn the world downpissed. She drags violet and carter out of the vehicle, laying themdown safely out of sight, and then goes to hunt down the fucker thatdared to try and kill them.

Shegoes up to the bridge to see a boy and a girl who she thinks might besiblings, holding guns in their hands. Sage holds up her hands tomake them feel safe.

“whoare you” asks sage, slowly edging closer to them.

Theboy smirks. There’s a look in his eyes sage dislikes immediately,something evil. “hm, nobody you need to worry about.”

sage’smouth quirks. “i doubt that.” she glances at the girl, then atthe gun aimed at her. They are fools, the both of them. She wouldhave thought they were trained better than this.

Sagegrabs the gun out of the girl’s hand, punching her hard enough todaze her. She spins lightning fast to hit the boy with the butt ofthe gun, then slams her hand against his chest with enough force tobreak ribs, dropping him to the ground. When he holds the gun up,wheezing for breath, sage wrenches it from his grasp. He glares ather with a hatred that would be frightening if he wasn’t so pathetic.

“thiswas your idea, wasn’t it?” she asks, voice low, soft. “i hopeyou’re satisfied with what happens to you now.” his sister screamsat the first gunshot, tears streaking her face, her handoutstretched. Sage glances at her. “get out of here while you stillcan. I might not feel so charitable once i’m done with your brother.”

theboy gurgles as blood fills his lungs. His sister cries. Sage watchesthe scene, unmoved by their pain.

“what’syour name?” the girl looks up at her with frightened eyes, lipsquivering against her sobs.

“w-what?”

“yourname.”

thegirl opens her mouth and closes it again, struggling to draw breathinto her lungs. “bella. My name is bella.”

“thankyou. I just wanted to know who i’m dealing with.” sage walks aroundthe boy’s legs to stand next to his side. He gives her that glareagain. She narrows her eyes at him, places her foot on his gunshotwound, and presses down. “Now i’m going to offer you a way out ofthis. You leave him here, I spare your life, you live the life you’vealways wanted free of this cancer.” he screams as she presses downharder, grinding her heel into his wound. “he made you do this,didn’t he? He’s always making you do things you hate.”

“yes,”whispers bella. More tears fall down her face. Bella’s guilt ispalpable.

“go.”

bellastands on shaky legs and walks away. She doesn’t look back.

i mean. it’s gonna have to be rewritten but like sage is so fucking raw in this scene i had to put it here.

2. nina tells carter about her abusive ex kyle. i really like bc it was one of the scenes i wrote that solidified the bromance between them.

[warning(s): talk of emotional abuse and gaslighting.]

the party has been going approximately an hour, when they realize nina is nowhere to be found. Violet sends carter to make sure nina hasn’t been kidnapped or eaten, or boarded herself up in the bedroom to avoid an awkward conversation.

Eventually carter finds her sitting in one of the lawn chairs in the backyard, gazing up at the night sky. She looks so serious sitting there, knees pulled up to her chest. Carter wonders if the void would give him the answers to life’s mysteries if he asked, or if it would stare back at him with its vast coldness, as unknowable and everchanging as time itself.

He plops himself into the chair next to nina, deciding nina’s troubles are more important than the void.

“are you alright?” asks carter, copying nina’s sitting position.

“yeah, i’m fine. I get overwhelmed when it’s a big crowd of people. So sometimes I have to go hide away somewhere when it gets too much.”

“um, ever since I was a kid, i’ve always liked going out at night and talking to the moon. I’d tell her about my day, or about the books I was reading.” nina smiles jewel bright in the faint moonlight. “kyle always told me I was weird for doing that.”

“was kyle nice to you?”

“most of the time. I guess.” nina looks down at her hands, fiddling with a thread on the sleeve of her cardigan.

Carter waits for her to speak.

“kyle could be really mean sometimes. He would tell me I was weird and that’s why I had to have the moon as my friend, because I couldn’t get anyone to be friends with me.” nina’s eyes become shiny as she talks, reliving an open wound. “and when i’d cry because it hurt so bad, he told me he was sorry. Then he would um,” nina sniffles, wiping tears away with her sleeve. “he would buy me gifts, take me out to dinner; that kind of thing. He was so sweet that I forgave him, and I’d start to wonder if I had overreacted, like maybe I just blew it out of proportion.”

“but I wasn’t carter, I wasn’t.” nina’s face scrunches up. “he didn’t care about me at all. When the ghosts hurt me, he didn’t believe me. He said I was just making it up for attention.” carter wraps his arms around nina, rubbing her back as she cries. “tiffany was the only person who believed me.”

“i’m going to set him on fire,” says carter, deadly calm. “and then i’m going to use him to light my cigarette.”

“please don’t do that,” nina hugs carter tight, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “but thank you.”

some of this is gonna be rewritten bc of plot related stuff, but i still really like the lines in this.

3. carter confides in nina about a one night stand gone wrong and about his past. nina is heartbroken.

warning(s): mentioned slutshaming, implied domestic violence and sexual assault. it’s not graphic or anything like that, but still heed the warnings just in case.

nina hears carter take gasping breaths behind the door as he cries, and holds her clasped hands to her chest, a terrible ache in her gut. She recognizes that kind of crying; the kind of sound you make when you try so hard to stop, but you can’t because it’s pouring out of you. All of the hurt comes out in these kinds of moments. Nina closes her eyes, bracing herself for the fallout.

She raps her knuckles on the door. “carter, can I come in?”

“come in.”

carter’s sitting on the toilet seat, lips pressed together against another sob. His face and eyes are red and his nose is dripping. He grabs a handful of toilet paper and wipes his face, trying to look brave for Nina and utterly failing in the attempt. Nina looks back at him, thinking Who did this. Nina sits on the floor next to him, back resting against the cabinet, arms draped around her knees. She waits there looking down at her nails to stop herself from looking directly at carter’s downturned face. The trick to getting carter to open up is to let him talk first. She tried to force it once and saw that naked look in his eyes, before he flew away like a startled bird. Out of the corner of her eye, carter sniffs wetly, tears clinging to his lashes.

“i’m sorry,” rasps carter. “i didn’t want anyone to see me like this.”

nina chances a look at him. “what happened?” carter opens his mouth, then closes it. More tears fall.

“some guy I went out with, we– we were having fun. And um, he asked if i’d go back to his place. So I said, “okay.” but once we got there…” carter blinks, eyes distant. “he started getting mean. He called me a, a slut, and he sounded so much like him, I just couldn’t–” he puts a hand against his mouth, lips trembling. “i left.”

I’m so sorry, Nina thinks, blinking back the warm pinpricks behind her eyes. She clenches her hands into fists, feeling her palms itch with the urge to hurt whoever gave carter these wounds.

“if I ever find him, he’s a goner,” says nina, jaw set.

“bella beat you to it,” replies carter with a watery smile.

i can’t spoil what’s gonna happen, but nina sort of plays a part in owen’s eventual downfall.

👻- 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet

tiffanysees carter grinning down at his phone during break and it takeseverything in her not to lean over his shoulder to find out who he’stexting. The curiousity is killing her.

“so…”she settles onto the stool next to carter, trying to be cool andfailing miserably. “okay you know I can’t be chill about anything.Who are you texting?”

“there’sthis girl. Her name is nina. She likes ballet and horror andantiques. She’s really cool.”

“likebuddy cool or girlfriend cool?” carter looks at her with such blankconfusion – like the thought of nina being anything more than afriend had never occurred to him – tiffany almost laughs out ofreflex. Luckily she doesn’t. She’d hate to put that red tinged,shamed look on his face he wears when he feels he’s done somethingwrong, only he doesn’t know what and he’s being laughed at for it.It’s a look she’s seen him wear too often.

“well,i’m glad you made a friend. I know how hard it is for you.” tiffanyprobably knows better than anyone how hard it is to find a friend.Especially when everyone knows you’re different.

It’sone of the loneliest things in the world.

#mvcreates #paper heart tag

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cecesf06 · 7 years

Text

Inconsolable (Part 1)

Anon: hi, can I get 68 and 74 with Liam and can it be angsty as anything, thank you!

A/N: No, thank you for requesting! This one is very long, I got kind of carried away., So I split it into two parts. P.S. angst is a specialty of mine.. If you don’t like it or wanted something else feel free to tell me!

(Oops, I deleted this prompt list, and have had all of the requests just sitting there, so I’m so sorry everyone, but I already this one done, so yolo.)

(NOT MY GIF!)

68. “I don’t need help! I just want the pain to stop!”

74. “I can’t take the loneliness anymore.”

Warnings: mentions and brief descriptions of blood and death, major character death, minuscule blink and you’ll miss it depression.

Word count: hella long- 20k both parts oml.

____________________________________________________

She wasn’t like them.

Y/N has seen them cope with the loss of a significant other; Scott, Isaac, Lydia- all in the same day, they lost the person who mattered most to them. They felt that primal terrible grief that swallowed them whole, and the shredded agony in their hearts where something had been savagely ripped out, leaving a void that wouldn’t- couldn’t- be filled. They survived the crushing despair, the same despair you were living through now, and the one you will always feel, because according to them, as time passes it’ll be easier to cope with.

But she wasn’t like them.

She can’t live without him.

It became painfully obvious only two months after he di- left- that moving on wasn’t an option, at least not for Y/N. The rest of the pack had grieved, and mourned, but they ultimately accepted it, although they were used to it- they were used to people they love leaving, but not her, she wasn’t at all, she wasn’t part of the pack until he was bitten, and everything about it was too surreal, but the denial was over but she can’t do it, she can’t-

The funny thing about being in Y/N’s family was that although sheltered to its cruelty, she wasn’t oblivious to the supernatural world. The Y/L/N family- convent- was well-known, prestigious, and a force to be reckoned with. Feared and respected, her family had raised generations upon generations of mages, and witches, men and women alike, Y/N being one of them.

Before her freshman year of high school, Y/N was home schooled, and trained until she gained full control over her powers. All children did this in her family, it usually took about five or so years, and therefore only elementary schooling, but her power was stronger than the rest, and control was a concept to her as compatible as gasoline to a flame. But she was not only strong, she was determined and gifted, and sooner, or in her case later, she began her freshman year, and first year of public schooling, at Beacon Hills High.

It was there she met her soon to be pack, and after an incident involving duct tape and orange peels, along with a few accidental spells, she met him.

He was the water to her flames, the baby blue eyed werewolf bitten by a true alpha. Control for him was as difficult for him as it was for her- power was something they shared along with a similar liking to dark chocolate, and his strength was his biggest foe. A foe that Y/N easily defeated.

Of course there were issues, threats from both enemies and eventually her family, but after much consideration, she was able to discharge from the convent, where she was nothing more than a burden and loose thread to them with her ever increasing strength, to a place to call her own among the True alpha’s mismatch pack, and with him- until she lost him.

Burying the memories, Y/N hitched her bag higher to settle on her shoulders, picking up her pace. Leaves crunched under her shoes, and trees shuddered in the wind, the full moon occasionally peeking through the clouds. Y/N shivered in the wind, regretting not bringing a coat, or even his sweatshirt- the one she never left home without.

She couldn’t have brought it tonight, though, not if she wanted her spell at the McCall’s, where she has been living, to work.

Scott was going to notice she was missing, though.

Scott has always been there for her in more ways than one- the whole pack has. Going behind their backs like this dropped a heavy weight in her stomach, and a lump in her throat.

But the feeling of his still body in her arms,and the image of his lifeless blue eyes she adored so much trumped the guilt, steeling her resolve.

Y/N could feel the buzzing, the sick yet powerful hum of the Nemeton. Y/N had a love/hate relationship with the tree stump, but if all went according to plan tonight, she’d be indebted to it forever.

The stump was her alter, her table, her desk, and Y/N unpacked her bag on it, ignoring the shift from the tree. Of course it objected, it recognized the herbs, the ones only used for one spell. They weren’t easy to procure, but they were easier to get than the rest of the ritual required.

The knife was a kitchen knife from the McCall’s house, and the runes were from ancient Latin Americans for renewal and rebirth during the vast wasteland after Noah’s arc, and the flood that destroyed the earth. Carving them into the thick decaying wood of the Nemeton was an arduous task, but well worth the reprimanding nosebleed she received in return.

The herbs, the runes carved in the stump, his blood, and then her blood. The Latin spell, long and complicated, and rehearsed for days before tonight, and even more effective on a full moon, only to be cast no longer than two months after passing. It was tonight or never; he’s been gone for two months today.

“Y/N!!”

She paused mid sentence, fear clutching her abdomen. They knew. They were going to stop her, and if they did, there’d be no going back, because after tonight, she’d never have another chance, and she’d have to face it.

The idea occurred days after he left. Several days brought the spell and ritual in fine print off a library computer. A few weeks after, she began gathering the supplies, and by three weeks, Y/N had everything she needed. And by one month, she’d make the trip, set up the supplies, carve the runes, and sit in silence, alone, pondering exactly what would happen if she went through with it. Him back and whole, in her arms again where he belongs, and not gone.

Not gone because of her. Because they got in her head, and eliminated the one thing- person- who could keep her in check. Of course that backfired when she burned them to the ground and their children and their grandchildren.

But he was gone by her hand, Y/N’s hand.

She remembers that day. It haunts her every night. Waking up that morning, her sixteenth birthday, nonetheless tragic, getting sick, and passing out in the bathroom at the McCall’s. The next thing she’s conscious of is the dark, and cold warehouse, empty albeit one small thing- his lifeless body.

They made him suffer, all while she was out and helpless while they manipulated her like a puppet, and he meant the world to her. He is the world to her- Y/N can’t be in it without him, she can’t cope like they do, and they don’t understand. They don’t understand the confusion that swept her when she was back to herself. They don’t understand the panic she felt when she saw him crumpled on the cement. They don’t understand the sorrow and pain, and fear, and horror, and absolute agony when she realized he was gone. They don’t understand how long she stayed there, crying on her knees with him in her arms, screaming and sobbing to the heavens to bring him back. To wake up.

And she was awake. And she’s going to bring him back, even if it’s the last thing she does.

Dead or alive, she’ll be with him again tonight.

“Y/N!”

Y/N ignored their pleas, chanting the words, feeling blood trickle down her face from her nose, and mouth, like it did when a witch pushed their limits.

This spell was one to be cast by a whole convent. The power needed was ungodly, and she had to believe that the rumors about her unnatural power were true, and that she was strong enough to do it.

Y/N couldn’t go another day without him, and if she didn’t succeed tonight, he was officially gone.

“Y/N!!!”

The voices of the pack were closer but she didn’t care. Her ears were ringing, her head fuzzy, and the buzzing power she was drawing from the Nemeton was coursing through her veins. The last words were pronounced. There was no going back.

It must’ve been a sight to see, Y/N on her knees by the Nemeton, the strongest source of power in Beacon Hills, blood covering the bottom half of her face, her eyes flashing from her usual stunning Y/e/c to a deep dark maleficent purple, darker since he left.

It certainly scared Scott, Lydia, Malia, Kira and Stiles when they finally found her.

Scott was the first to react. “Y/N, stop!” The panic is his voice caught her attention, freezing her in the act as she prepared to let the blood drop from her sliced palm, the last step before the spell was complete.

“It’s too late.” Her voice was trance like, almost monotone, like it’d been since he left. “It’s already been done.”

The wind had picked up considerably, leaves swirling and surrounding her like a tornado. Y/N’s gaze lifted to the moon again, the power gathering, and grinding her to her very core, draining as much as it could, from her, the Nemeton, the full moon.

There wasn’t a more powerful force. If this didn’t work, nothing would.

“Y/N,” Lydia was trembling, and Stiles put a comforting hand on her shoulder, brows creased. Lydia’s voice was weak and quivering, horrified. “What have you done?”

Y/N’s eyes were unblinking at the banshee, and she knew Lydia could feel the disruption in the balance between the living and the dead. “What I had to.”

Scott bit his lip to hold back tears, and not for the first time, sharing her thoughts and emotions. “Y/N, we could’ve helped you, we know how you feel, we lost him too-”

“I don’t need help!” Her voice was a roar, deeper than usual, the wind swirling quicker, her fist clenched, stopping the blood that’s ready to be spilled, that will bring him back. Her voice dropped to a moan. “I just want the pain to stop..”

“It will be alright.” Scott replied somberly, struck with grief anew for both the boy they just lost, and his first love long ago. “It may not feel like it now, but it will get easier- and we’re here for you, we understand how you feel-”

Her eyes were alighted with fury. “No! None of you understand how I feel!”

“We do, Y/N,” It’s Mason’s voice now, the human completely over looked in her wrath. The boy shamelessly had tears running down his face. “We loved him, too.”

Y/N was still at his words, the rage and currents slowing a bit, her fist lowering from where it has been poised above the herbs. The pack was beginning to feel as though they were getting through.

They weren’t. His words only poured alcohol into her gasoline fueled fire, no water to quench the flames.

“NO! Not like I did.” Her voice dropped a few octaves, which was progress in Stiles’s book. “I killed him. I killed the only person I truly loved.”

Scott had taken a step toward her, only to recede when a current lashed out a warning. “That wasn’t you. That was them.”

Y/N shook her head, disbelieving. “No, no, I killed him.”

Stiles had a pained expression, reaching a hand toward the younger, a pang throbbing in his chest where it never fully healed after Allison. “ No, they were controlling you, Y/N!”

She shook her head, blood beginning to pour from her ears as the wind picked up profusely. She didn’t believe them. She’d never believe them.

“I can’t take the loneliness anymore…”

Alarmed, Malia began to take a step toward her, but Scott held her back. “Don’t.”

The six were forced to watch helpless as she let the blood fall, his name on her lips, helpless as the power was extracted from the three sources, helpless to watch Y/N scream, Lydia screaming with her. Once the roaring of wind, and ear piercing screams died out, everything became painfully still.

Lydia was shaking as she recovered in Stiles’s arms, a look of horror on her face. Y/N was unmoving, flat on the stump, and silent.

Malia and Scott reached Y/N first, panicky as they inspected her, almost collapsing with relief as they found her breathing. Mason and Kira were by their side next, the kitsune sinking next to her boyfriend, a hand over her mouth in shock. Corey appeared out of nowhere, where he was probably skulking and watching as usual.

Stiles helped a shaky Lydia approach, the banshee trembling and mumbling his name.

“Is Y/N okay?” Stiles’s voice broke, fearful they lost yet another part of their family, the girl who is like a sister to him.

“Yeah, she’s breathing, just unconscious. We should take her Deaton’s though.” Scott supplied, lifting Y/N into his arms with ease while Malia frowned at her limp figure with concern, using her sleeve to wipe some of the blood that covered her face. Stiles nodded, relieved.

Scott furrowed his brows at Lydia, who was staring off in a daze, almost comatose, now mumbling a sporadic mix of Y/N’s and his name. “ We should bring her to him, too.”

Stiles nodded, a flicker of fear at the thought that Lydia could be comatose again, as Malia takes her other side, and they follow Scott to the clinic. Mason trails behind, but not after snapping pictures of the runes and blood and herbs still strewn across the Nemeton.

Deaton better have answers.

Well this was nerve wracking to post let me know if you want part 2!

#liam dunbar imagine #liam dunbar x reader #reader x pack #liam dunbar imagines #liam dunbar #scott mccall #mccall pack #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #lydia martin #malia tate #mason hewitt #scalia #stydia #long imagine #two part post #part one

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kaffeeliebhaberin · 4 years

Text

Wings of the Night

Warning: Mentioning of bullying, depression, suicide and homophobia. If you don't feel comfortable with any of these topics, please don't read the short story. Also, English is only my second language. So there might be some mistakes. Words: ~ 1.400 Caption: Tim spent the day with his best friend Steven playing computer games. But today Tim didn't perform well, and Steve noticed. The reason behind it was the secret Tim had kept from Steve for a long time, now finally being ready to tell him about it. However, the teenage boy reacted differently from what Tim had hoped for.

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I sat there, my best friend right next to me, and I was hella nervous. "Headshot!", he shouted and I jumped because of the exclaim. I didn't intend to and it was unusual for me to act this way. Normally I wouldn't mind the most terrifying horror movies, but today was different. The reason I wanted to meet him was different. I never wanted to have a joyful time with him today, it had to be more honest, more serious. More straight. But I needed an opener, so what could I have chosen other than our favourite hobby? "Damn it, Tim! You're gonna get us killed! If you're not feelin' it, we can play this game another time.", Steven suggested. But again, I was caught up in my own mind. I wasn't focused. And he noticed. I wanted to seem normal so badly, but the thing I wanted to tell him about could change everything. The secret I kept from him for years could end our entire friendship, and that was one of the last things I wanted to happen. I could feel the stare of the slightly older boy, could see it from the corner of my blue eye. I felt so horribly uneasy, and I knew that he knew how I felt. He could read me like a book, that's how close we were. I mean, we've known each other for five God damn years. How could I be such a bad friend and not trust him? Because I didn't know how he would react. "What's up, buddy? Just spit it out!" He almost forced me to feel bad about myself with that sentence. And it worked perfectly fine. I felt miserable. It was hard to look him in the eye, but I needed to do so. I forced myself to build up the courage. And then, without me realising it, my mouth started to move. My lips and my tongue, even my vocal cords worked together, formed a unit. But my conscious mind was left out. Only when I heard my own words, I understood what I was saying. "I'm gay, Steve." He looked at me with a blank expression at first. Was that good or bad? Then the look on his face became dead serious. "You're kiddin', are ya?", he spat out, and I heard the disgust in his voice. It was so thick and real, it almost fell like a drop of oil on the ground of my bedroom. Tinted it in jet black. I didn't know how to react. I have played through every single scenario, but this one I have left out. I was simply too afraid to imagine that he would find my sexuality nasty, but I should have known better. "You really are not joking.", he said, sounding almost disappointed. He punctuated every single word of his, gave it more depth, more seriousness. "I'd rather not waste my time with you anymore.", he said. Then he stood up, took his jacket and left the room. He never looked at me once, and I hoped he would never do it again. The way he reacted made it more than clear that there wasn't any interest in spending any more time with me. I let myself fall onto my bed, the mattress bouncing a bit under this sudden movement. Was I really that wrong? That disgusting? That unacceptable? God, he didn't even see me as human anymore. How could I be so stupid? How could I trust him so much? I regretted telling him. It was most likely the biggest mistake I've made in my whole, seventeen-year-long life. Or... maybe there was one single thing I regretted more. Being the way I was: gay. Not normal.

The next day I almost called in sick. Technically, I really felt sick. But that would have not been accepted by my highschool. I was sick of seeing humans. I had to force myself to get out of bed and the rest of the morning wasn't easier for me either. It was as if I already knew what I had to face this day. Steven had removed me from the class chat, and I knew that by eight o'clock in the morning the whole school knew my secret. My stomach was upset by the terror and my heart was beating so fast, I felt as if I almost had a heart attack. I could barely feel my trembling hands, as I reached for the doorknob, which would ultimately lead me to the floor of the very conservative school. My knees were weak, but I wouldn't let myself have a full-on panic attack while laying on the icy stairs to my school. I pressed my lips into a straight line, as I pushed the door open. Only a couple students were standing in the hallway since the first period had almost begun. As I walked to my locker I felt every single pair of eyes that looked - glared - at me. They talked behind their hands as I walked past them, some even pointed their finger at me. I hurried to take out my books, wanting this moment to get over with. I took a deep breath, before closing the locker once again and turning around. The eyes stared at me with disapproval and they wanted me to see it. I tried to ignore them, heading to my classroom. As soon as I saw his self-assured expression, I wanted to turn around and flee back to my bed, my safe place, my home. But I didn't want to give him that accomplishment. He didn't deserve it. "Hey, queen!", he shouted through the whole room and if anyone hadn't been staring at me before, I would now for sure have all the attention. I looked at my feet, suddenly unable to walk or speak. I didn't have any confidence, any strengths, left. I wasn't ready to face such treatment. The brown-haired teenager pushed me back. My back hid the wall behind me, a sharp pain rushed through my spine. I begged the Lord silently, even though I've never been religious. I wasn't strong, my skinny arms barely held any muscle, so I could never ever fight back. I couldn't voice myself. I could only hope that Mr Jensen would get to class on time. The next thing I knew was that I hid the floor.

And now here I'm sitting. Reminiscing my past year of troublesome life in school. That was the first day the bullying started, and now I swore to me to never let that happen again. I wasn't strong enough to endure it again. The agony, the loneliness still overwhelmed me every single night I'd cry myself to sleep. Even the darkness of the night was never comforting, today being an exception. I was calm, relaxed, and in some weird way happy. My legs hung down the roof of the gigantic car park, the cold air brushing trough my thin, blond hair. The wind made a mess out of them, but I didn't mind. I looked down at all the people rushing on the street, kinda feeling sorry for them. They hustled, already taking out their umbrellas as the dark grey clouds started to growl and rumble. I didn't mind. Normally I would have been terrified by the height, worried I might fall down. But again, I was completely calm. I felt like a small baby being held tightly inside their mothers loving embrace. The icy raindrop hit my hairline and run down my forehead, and finally passing my cheek. It got mixed up with the hot tear running down my face. I got chills as more and more drops cooled down my body, dampened my shirt and jeans. I didn't mind. I peeked over the edge again, seeing that less and fewer people were running down the pedestrian walk. An odd smile spread across my face. It was wide and I wasn't used to the feeling anymore. It felt asymmetrical and in a weird way desperate. Almost frantic. I felt lucky about the small number of people on the streets, about the fewer persons who could see my dehumanised body after it would hit the ground. I didn't mind. I didn't felt anxiety. I only felt positive emotions: happiness, fulfilment, joy, calm, inner peace. They send a warm cosy feeling trough my stomach and chest. I was confident about my decision, so I didn't risk another peek. I jumped. I fell. Then everything went black.

#homophobia #short story #oneshot #bullying #suicide

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