Tumgik
#and maybe it’s sad or weird or pitiful but this blog and all of you have literally improved my mental health so much
frnkiebby · 15 days
Text
oh my fucking god you guys.
it’s time for another FellowWhore Appreciation Day.
Frnkiebby is now officially at 400 followers.
i know i say this every time this blog hits a milestone but i genuinely mean it every single time.
you guys seriously blow my mind and i think it’s so fucking awesome that i have such a cool group of FellowWhores who actually, like, interact with/talk to me and shit. i seriously just have so much fucking fun with you guys and this blog.
i scream into the void about Frank fucking Iero and the void screams back and it’s my most favorite fucking thing in the world.
FellowWhore Appreciation Day will be either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. It’s gonna be fun (for me at least) and i’m gonna start preparing it tonight!! i hope you guys like it!!~🎃
(have some extra frimages as thanks [aka more gifs])
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
28 notes · View notes
nipuni · 18 days
Text
Time for an old school blog post, Hello!
Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊
Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.
Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!
Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!
On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.
Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!
We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.
Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂
OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!
Tumblr media
Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!
Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!
88 notes · View notes
showtoonzfan · 1 year
Text
My thoughts for what I think the new Helluva episode is ganna be like:
- Probably more Moxxie’s a wimp jokes/crude pegging jokes regarding Millie and how his wife takes charge in the relationship
- Crimson is either just going to be a jerk or actually evil with an evil plan that kicks off the fight scene later.
- More Blitz being a dick yet slightly supportive of Moxxie so they can show that he also “cares”.
- Maybe another “Moxxie’s fat” joke since the writers are obsessed with that joke for some reason.
- Millie does nothing throughout the entire episode besides stand there, yell and be aggressive at Chaz and only then moves once the epic shark mafia fight scene happens, which will probably take up the majority of the last few minutes of the episode.
- Bonus points if Crimson and Blitz end up having this weird sexual tension like Blitz and Striker did.
- More Moxxie going through the same damn arc of learning he’s enough the way he is but his bad boi daddy berates him. I’m expecting a “bad ass” moment of Moxxie standing up for himself and pointing the gun at his father to one up him.
- Definitely more mlm fetishization and a hyper sexual Chaz with many dick jokes and gay jokes because we already know he’s going to sing a song about how much he wants to bone Moxxie.
- The episode will probably be about 22 minutes like the previous one and yet I have the feeling most of it will be the characters just sitting around until the fight scene happens, aka I feel like most of this is ganna be pointless filler.
- Either Crimson is ganna stay evil by the end or they’ll pull another abusive ass lesson of “I was just tryna toughen you up” at an attempt for an emotional heartfelt scene.
- Stolas will probably not be in this episode but he might be mentioned once so the fans can get their daily Stolitz fanservice, unless the episode is ganna act like the previous one never happened and portray Blitz as sad again. Bonus points if they actually DO cram Stolas in here since I know Viv can’t go one second without shoving him into every episode.
- This episode will probably be better animation wise but fast paced.
- Blitz honestly seems like he doesn’t need to be in this episode at all unless they’re doing the same thing they did in episode 5 where they PAINT it as another character’s episode but then turn it into a Blitz episode.
- I’m expecting another “Uwu pity Blitz” scene, maybe Crimson tries to manipulate him or just spew cliche hurtful things but either way I feel like they’ll find a way to have Blitz be the main star for the episode.
- The episode will probably get revolved and end in another rushed half assed way.
And that’s all I got. Again I’m not watching the episode but I can’t wait to see what other critic blogs think, and once I read the events of what happened, I’ll just go off from that.
96 notes · View notes
pink-booty-butts · 1 year
Text
THIS IS A PSA TO ALL FANFIC READERS:
if you don't reblog our fics or leave comments, we DON’T know you like them.
As far as I'm concerned there's only 1 person that likes my fics because that's the only reblog/comment I get whenever I put something out.
this is a small fandom. I don't expect hundreds of reblogs or comments and I knew that when I started writing for it. but I see the same people day after day like my fics, but they never comment or reblog or send nice anons(unless i mention i’m sad/insecure, like last night). it's hard not to see that as "oh this person was just scrolling and they saw I posted something so they just liked it and didn’t read it" when you don't interact in any way besides that.
I don't know why you guys are so hesitant to show appreciation to fic writers, but I'll tell you right now that whatever the reason it can be overcome. 
If you're embarrassed: trust me the fic writer is going feral that you said anything at all and you being weird or cringe is the furthest thing from their mind. you're literally the exact opposite of cringe in that moment and that fic writer wants to be your best friend, bake your favorite cookies and dedicate their life's work to you.
if you don’t want to ruin your blog/aesthetic: make a new one. that way you’ll have all your favorite fics in one place, you can organize them by character, etc. It’s a win-win. 
if you think they won’t care: THEY WILL. They will love and remember you forever even if you just said something like “this is great!”
In our heads we fear expressing appreciation and love because we think that people already know how amazing they are. I mean why wouldn't they? they're doing this and doing that and because they're so amazing there's no need for me to tell them. surely they already know?
they don't. 
think of all the insecurities, worries etc that you have on a daily basis. your favorite fic writer has those too. i'm not a great writer and i doubt i’m anyone’s favorite, but every time i post a fic all i can think is: “wow this sucks” “my last fic was better” “x writer is so much better than me” “maybe i should stop writing” “should i even bother posting this” “does anyone even care if i post anything”
i’m not saying that to ask for pity or to get people to validate my insecurities, but rather to illustrate that this is what might be going through your favorite fic writer’s head. As amazing as you think their fics are while you’re reading them, unless you TELL THEM THAT they probably think it’s horrible. 
and if that’s not enough motivation, then maybe this will be:
Like I said, this is a small fandom. if the few people that read them don't tell us they like them/share them, why would we continue writing for it? what would be the point? we could continue to have our little daydreams and our private conversations without spending hours and hours writing fics, and the only person who'd be missing out on that would be YOU.
and BTW if you send anon hate, you’re literally making that person more likely to stop writing. and if you ask me that seems counterintuitive to the reason you’re sending anon hate in the first place(aka, to complain that your fic writer isn’t putting out the content you want to see). if you want your favorite writer to write more, JUST TELL THEM. “can you write more for *insert character here*?” “can you write this scenario?” 
so, if you want to continue enjoying the free content these writers provide and ensure they come out with new stuff: reblog. comment.
let them know you care and appreciate their contributions, or they will go somewhere else where they will be appreciated.
27 notes · View notes
flesh-of-a-hare · 2 years
Text
Welcome to the flesh pit!
Tumblr media
Hello! You’ve, unfortunately, stumbled upon my angst blog! If you recognize my art, hello friend and/or fellow simp! Please don’t tell anyone how I live
This is just a side blog for all the angry, anxious, upset art-vomit that I occasionally need to purge out of my system. Most of it will be of my sona/self insert, sometimes featuring ocs, sometimes featuring canon characters from weird fandoms bc I’m just cringy like that!
CONTENT WARNINGS FOR:
Implications of mental illness, including, but not limited to: anxiety, depression, mood disorders, PTSD, guilt complex, self hatred, anger management issues, and self image issues
Violence, blood, and self mutilation
Death and dead bodies, of people and animals
Art and/or writing meant to be cathartic
If you identify with ANY OF THE ART/WRITINGS PRESENTED, please talk to someone you know and trust and seek psychiatric help. The things you feel, while valid, should never become a part of who you are and there are things that can be done to help you. These feelings and patterns of thought cannot and never will help you. You can be happy. You are allowed to be happy. You are allowed to heal. You are loved, and you are worth loving. I am not kidding. I am not just saying that. I love you and I want you to be happy.
Other things to know:
Yes, I do have a doctor, and yes, I am getting help. This is my equivalent of screaming into a pillow or burning letters. It helps me process my feelings and get them out of my system. If you’re bothered by this or annoyed by the never ending pity party being thrown here, that’s fair, I get you completely
You can call me Rot, Rabbit, or Bones. Most of the time, the characters presented in my art will refer to my sona as ‘rabbit.’
Why a rabbit? I don’t know, really. I like rabbits, and I used to own rabbits, and my family and friends have associated me with rabbits for a long time. Plus they’re fun to draw
Who are those characters? The one with the head of a hare is Vanilla. He isn’t meant to represent anyone in particular, but always presents the unfortunate truth. The one with spiral eyes and jagged teeth is Mischief, an old comfort character. (Will add to this list as characters become relevant)
Why make a blog for this? I don’t know, honestly. Maybe because I’m fucked up or seeking validation or struggling to connect with people or maybe I’m just so starved for attention and acknowledgement of my (honestly obnoxious and tedious) pains and woes, BUT I also hate to post this on my main and annoy or worry my friends and followers so this was a close to a compromise as I could get.
Shouldn’t you not do this? It can’t be helping you/It’s super cringe and I’m getting secondhand embarrassment. Sorry fam lmao if it helps at all I hate this shit more than you do
You’re obnoxious. You bet your ass I am. And for that I apologize skdgdjd
ANYWAY all that being said, have a good day and take care of yourself or I’ll be sad!
3 notes · View notes
wtfuggg · 8 months
Text
1st?
Writing this for myself. I think. I don't really know what I'm doing starting this; probably the same reason that I've bought 6 journals from Whitcoulls and not once have I made it past 4 entries. I think I love the idea of having my thoughts in one place so I can reflect back and see what I thought at a specific time. Such a shame my memory stretches back to max last weekend.
Like, my memory now is horrifically bad. I don't even recall what I had for lunch yesterday, let along what I did at work today. My grandma had Alzheimers, so maybe it's started making its way down to me. Finger's crossed it isn't but honestly, I wouldn't be surprised, I feel like my dad's side of the genetics (aka my fucked up hairline) is predominent in my make up. Sad right?
Anyways, I wish I could just reflect back on my life and instantly recall what I felt. I wish I could look back in time and remember what I thought when I was in the closet? Or what I felt when my mum passed away? Or when I was in love with my best friend's American flatmate? God I wish I had written down my thoughts more often, time is flying by incredibly fucking fast. And it's scary. And it's daunting. And its all the synonyms of "frightening" you can think of.
Here goes my first entry. Digital this time, so maybe I wont be as ceebs when it comes to this in comparison to when I grab a pen and paper and I feel like I'm in an indie little film x
Bur for real, I wanna start this little blog off with how I'm, feeling right now. Right now is Friday the 15th of September 2023. A week prior to my one year anniversary at work. A year and a month since I've moved to Auckland. 2 years since I graduated uni. 2 years since my mum died. 3 years since covid. God, isn't it weird how you think of time through milestones? Like why can't everyday just be a milestone. I guess its self explanatory - and I guess I'm only frustrated that I can't remember my life.
I'm already ceebs writing this not gonna lie hahahaha, but I'm gonna push through but maybe I break this down into more bit sized chunks. Next one I'll do a piece on how I push people away, maybe sprinkle a little bit of self pity and self loathing into that one xox
Right now, I feel like I'm going through it - but not in the same way that I've gone through it in the past. I think it's some sort of growth, but I couldn't be certain. I really have no idea what I'm feeling. I wish I could say. I mean a few nights ago, I was ranting to my flatmate how I'd wanna go back to Christianity, then the following day I was sending Gavin Caselegno messages asking him for dick pics? Like I cant seem to make my mind up. God it must be so exhausting to be around me. I pity myself. I pity anyone around me to be honest. Don't think anyone should be around me. Why? Cause I'm fucking up and down man, every single day. I could be happy one moment and be depressed as fuck the next. It's a constant cycle of being inconsistent. If it's tiring for me, I can't even begin to imagine what it'd be like for anyone in close proximity to me. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this too much. No one actually cares. Genuinely no one. So maybe I just live my life how I wanna live it lol.
I think it's all catching up to me - being indecisive that is. I feel my entire life has been a mask - I don't really know myself and thats why I cant control my emotions. In fact, for a little while i thought everyone was faking their emotions cause i didnt feel any. Probably up until 2021, I genuinely thought that there was something wrong with me cause I never felt any 'real' emotion. Or If i did, I didn't think they were real, or I didn't have the emotional capacity to rationalise them. I mean, don't get me wrong, I feel all the emotions, but empathy is something I dont think I have.
That's another thing too. I'm so fucking selfish its insane hahahaha, Like I feel like I'm only ever concerned about myself. But so be it, am i right? No one's ever been there for me. Friends drift away, relationships drift away, even family, who i thought would be forever.. also drift away.. how fucking sad hey. Mateeeee honestly now that I'm starting to unpack this I feel like this will take way longer than anticipated lol. maybe this can be my little therapy book x
Kinda tired writing - so maybe i give this up and save it for another time. My flatmates are also watching a fucking show and I can't sleep and its grinding my gears damn. Anyways, okay signing off. Gonna check back in soon x
1 note · View note
aplace2ponder · 2 years
Text
All at university, all the same age, with the same humour, hobbies, dislikes and likes.
I have always been the one to create numerous friends but kept those extremely close to me as my best of friends (obviously, as you do). But this has been the second occurrence where I can't keep those friends, well now that I think about it, this is probably the fourth time. I feel that maybe I am the problem, maybe there is something wrong with me, the way I present myself, the why I act. Maybe I'm just forever that filler friend in other's live's while I make no significant friends in mine. Or maybe that I was just destined to be lonely from the get-go.
I found out a few nights ago that what I thought were my ride or dies from Uni actually go on trips, and hang out together more than I do with them. They have integrated each other as a significant piece in each other's lives and have not included me at all. Which I sometimes find funny because I was the one who introduced both of them and now I'm the one who's left out.
I understand if they have more things to bond with, they have lives to live, but I have this underlying feeling that they are happy without me (which show on their social media) they don't respond to any of my messages or even try to text me unless they want something from me. It's so weird, even though I have experienced this so many times, I should be null to it, but my happiness, memories, and time were fun it seems like such a waste.
I am not hateful to them at all, just feel like I've been used and discarded once they got what they wanted. But, that's okay right? It happens. I feel like maybe because I went on with the adult life a couple months earlier then them that they grew closer. I got a full-time job and have gone to other studies and they graduated at the same time, they are currently on the same page of life now. Fresh graduates and being in relationships. Maybe because I have chosen a different route that this is why it's happening.
Just finding out that I'm that friend they bring along or even think about because they pity me makes me kind of sad. They only want to talk to me if they want me to help them, get a job at where I work or only want me to drive them to their places.
I am known as the energetic, friendly one by my other friends and colleagues. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't know. Anyways, I blocked them on all social media so I don't need to see their updates of how much fun they are having without me. This realisation is why I started this blog, because maybe there is a view of me that I am not seeing, maybe I just picked the wrong friends or maybe I am the one in the wrong. But the more I live everyday, I want to be a better version of my self mentally. Physically,,, that can wait XD
0 notes
tiramisu-su · 2 years
Text
New beginnings
Likely no one will ever come across this Tumblr and that's okay. I'm starting a new journey for myself, and If I'm ever ready to share it- well, hopefully someone will be interested! This will just be a blog/diary for my day-to-day thoughts, feelings, and happenings. By me. For me. I am quitting social media. Well, in a sense. I will not be active on Instagram, and have deleted the app. I have Facebook messenger to talk to my family. Lastly, I have VSCO where I just post my photography. I am really not going to be using social media at all. I have this blog to post my thoughts without judgment from anyone I know, and I won't be mindlessly scrolling, comparing, being sad etc. I don't want to interact with or be exposed to what social media has to offer. I need a break. I need a cleanse. Social media is what everyone wants you to believe of their life. None of it is true. I am sick of mindlessly scrolling through photos, and posting my own at that. I want to be more present. I want to heal from the things I've been hiding from, a lot of that being my past, and some things are from my present as well.
I will say, I know social media has its perks, positives, and what not, however, to say that it can't be addicting, toxic and negative is a lie.
Negatives I have experienced: 1. Lowered self esteem 2. Wasting time that could be spent bettering myself 3. Comparing myself to false "realities" and people. Why is it so important to be pretty anyways? Truly its what's inside that matters, and if anyone treats you differently because of that, they don't deserve your time. Everyone fabricates a perfect life because that's how they want to be seen. You have every right to show what you want to on social media, be transparent or don't. There's pros and cons to both I guess? I just know that I shouldn't believe that someones grass is greener just because they are showing an immaculate 1x1 patch of their lawn. What about the rest of your lawn? It's fucked and patchy in spots, just like everyone else's. 4. Becoming bitter to the world and thinking it's mostly bad and full of mostly mean, ill-intentioned people. This is NOT true and I realized this when I went outside again recently. (The joys of nature and its effects on people) I was generalizing people to all be unkind and self centred. I was losing hope in humanity seeing how cruel some people could be. 5. Silencing myself to avoid backlash for having ANY type of opinion on ANYTHING 6. To echo #5, not being able to be my weird authentic self (not trying to be quirky I really do have a fucked sense of humour)- plus why would I want that on the internet anyways? 7. Seeking validation from others (yikes) 8. Self-pity and feeling victimized (I am not a victim. I am a human with lots of growth to do!) 9. TOXIC. People can say and do whatever they want on the internet and be able to hide. Sometimes the toxic behaviour is more subtle. All I know is, bullying and other awful things are always happening in plain view and behind the scenes. Some people just really love drama. 10. Being watched. Whatever you put out there, people are seeing it, they are judging and criticizing it, they are sharing it with their friends, you could have stalkers, or people that keep tabs on you, the list goes on and on. I don't want people to have that kind of ammunition against me. I know I have the power not to share, to be quiet, to engage silently, however, I just don't want any part of it anymore! I don't want to see or be seen. Positives: 1. A sense of community and belonging 2. Communicating with old friends and really nice and supportive people Maybe I'll add to this list if I think of anything else but that's literally all I have right now.
I officially quit June 12th, 2022. I hope to use this blog to chronicle my days, as well as my baking and birding journeys.
1 note · View note
infernalrevenge · 3 years
Note
Hey! I just came across your blog and I absolutely love the way you write about a disability, so I figured I’d ask if you could write mine. Could you please do a gender neutral reader with moderate-ish Tourette’s Syndrome and how the lords react with it? Thank you so much for writing these things well :))
Thank you as well! I was just happy to do the prompt, it's cool to see that people liked it and thought I did well :D I hope this one delivers on it too.
Like before, I've had to do research since I don't have experience with Tourette's syndrome. If anyone would like to provide some constructive criticism on how I've done this -- especially you, friendly anon -- or point something out that may be wrong, then feel free to do so.
(CW for misunderstandings and misconceptions about Tourette's syndrome made by the lords, but some of them eventually learn.)
Alcina Dimitrescu
Alcina has met all sorts of people during her lifetime, so she may have known some who have or had these kinds of uncontrollable tics before. When you meet her and she becomes aware of them, you can give her the name for it and she'd say "Oh, so that's what it's called."
Also, if you were ever worried about coming off as weird for it? Don't be. Not only does she not consider things or people to be "weird" anymore (who's normal these days anyway? What is normal?), remember that she's a nine foot tall vampiric woman who has been alive for more than century. Nothing is normal.
Your tics don't really bother her, even in a public setting where you might worry about being embarrassing. If they do, she doesn't make it obvious. You may have to explain to her beforehand what causes them though, so she has a better understanding of why they happen. Nonetheless, she's quite patient.
If your tics cause you to have a hard time sleeping, she'll be right there to soothe you and get you back in bed. She understands that these things just happen but you both need your rest -- mind and body. Hopefully, some cuddling with your big lady love can help you wind down.
It goes without saying that anyone who gives you a hard time about your condition will be on the Lady's bad side from then on. It will start with an icy glare and a few choice words, and could possibly end with a trip to the wine cellar. It all depends on her mood, and your willingness to forgive.
Donna Beneviento
Donna thought she understood what it was like to be around someone who had no filter (*ehem Angie ehem Karl*) but she didn't realize how different it was with someone who genuinely couldn't control those things.
She may have heard of Tourette's before, maybe in a book she read or something mentioned offhandedly. Nonetheless, her curiosity lets her not just try to do her own research, but also ask you more about it. Who better to learn from than someone with experience?
She is very observant, so she'll keep in mind what could trigger your tics. Are you doing it because you're stressed? Are you sad or angry? Perhaps you're excited about something? When she finds out, she'll act accordingly, either to provide comfort, or be happy with you!
She would never stop you from acting on your tics, knowing that it would be hard for you to do so and would bring more relief to just let you do it. She might be too forgiving though, even if the tics can be intrusive or offensive (still beyond your control) so you have to assure her that she can tell you if they end up bothering her.
Anyone who tries to mock you is automatically getting attacked by Angie, no exceptions. Little doll's feral too, so even if the bully apologizes incessantly, she won't stop until she's satisfied. Might as well sit back and enjoy the impromptu show.
Salvatore Moreau
Salvatore was implied to be a former doctor before his Cadou transformation, so he may be familiar with Tourette's and what that entails. He'll have to do more reading, since he didn't frequently encounter neurological disorders like this.
He's rather slow though, especially in his current condition, so you'll have to be patient with him when he can't understand what or why you're doing something sometimes. It'll take a lot of repetition for him to not just get used to it, but also remember it.
Very understanding and patient, especially when you tell him more about your triggers. He'll try to minimize your exposure to stressors, not only for your tics, but also because he would hate to see you upset or frustrated.
Like with Alcina, he won't see or treat you any differently than before he found out about it -- he'll just have learned more about you, and that's great!
He knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of both scrutiny and pity, and he would hate to see you go through that too. So not only is he going to be protective, but also tell people off if they were treating you too differently from anyone else. You're still a person, so what if you're a little different?
Karl Heisenberg
At first, he may not fully understand why you're doing these things. It's not that your tics were annoying to him specifically, but if they were to you, then can't you just... stop? (He gets told to stop doing things he wants to do all the time.)
But when you explain why you can't stop, and that it's not something that easy to control, he starts to get it a little more. When you give him a name for your condition, he tries to research more about it.
Both of you need to give each other time to get used to the other -- Karl may not be as patient as the other lords, especially in the beginning, but he will get used to it eventually. He has to accept that this is part of you, and if he really cares about you (believe me, he does) then he would have to be more forgiving.
He's the type to laugh along about some of the situations you get yourself into because of your tics. You got a motor tic that got you in trouble, but you've got a humor about it? That's quite endearing to him.
If anyone bullies you for your tics and he finds out, they're getting thrown down with Sturm. Maybe add a couple lycans to the mix for entertainment value. Karl loves a good show, after all.
138 notes · View notes
bakugohoex · 3 years
Note
looove your blog keep up the amazing work 😙✌🏽 anywho fic where people in UA still think shinsou's quirk is scary and they avoid him as much as possible bc they're scared he might activate it + that makes him sad but reader isn't scared of him at all !! and she always talks to him/hangs with him etc.. and he like low-key falls in love w her
”why aren’t you scared of me?”
Tumblr media
pairing: hitoshi shinso x female reader
cw: language, slight angst, fluff, kissing
word count: 4000+
a/n: umm this is weird and i got rid of the joint traning arc and mina and momo are being bitches and it’s just me waffling at 00:30 so yeah have fun to the people awake reading this also thank you so much for the support
summary: in which shinso joins class 1a and whilst everybody seems to be scared of him out of fear he’ll use his quirk, you try to befriend the boy and he develops feelings as soon as you talk to him.
↞ back to my hero academia masterlist
Tumblr media
His arrival into the class was shocking to say the least, the small whispers between your classmates and the fear that flushed through their eyes. Except you, you were intrigued by the boy, having seen his quirk at the sports festival you had seen how he used it against Midoriya. His soft violet hair looked a mess but a cute mess to say the least, his dull eyes and grey marks underneath his eyes melted your insides.
“You can sit behind Y/n.” You smiled to signify you were Y/n and he looked down walking past your classmates.
The whispers all in ear shot, you could see his eyes fall but didn’t say anything about it. Him, swiftly taking the seat right behind you, Aizawa had let the class talk among themselves and the fact nobody had come to talk to the boy. Hurt you a lot more than you wished, “y/n, we’re having that movie night next Sunday.”
“I can’t wait.” You turned around to meet the boy, “you’re invited as well.”
He gazed up catching your eyes, your knuckles were white due to the grip on the chair, and you stared with utter confidence. Mina having been the one to ask, she gave a side eye at what you had just said but didn’t bother making a remark.
Shinso answered with a, “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“No, it’s fine, I want you to come.” You had never been this confident but at how he had been ignored by the rest of the class it jolted something inside of you, “we can have lunch together as well.”
“Okay.” It was blunt and Momo this time had come up to you.
She stood in front of you, ignoring the boy, you could see how tense she was at the close proximity between them. She gestured for you to get up, but you ignored her action, “I’ll talk to you later.” You spoke continuing to ignore her pleas, was she really scared of him?
Were they all really that scared of him?
“You can go to your friends; you don’t need to be some sort of pity party.” Shinso muttered, stretching back and leaning against his chair.
Wide eyed, you tilted your head to be placed on the back of your hands, “I’m not a pity party, I want to be friends.”
“Friends, your class hates me.” He looked up and down, your skirt had ridden up and he could see a scar that you had probably gotten from someone’s quirk.
You roll you eyes giving the boy a smirk, “they don’t hate you.” .
“Really?” He gushes out knowing it’s the truth.
“Yes, stop worrying.” It was concerning how easy you two could converse, and your friends were ever so afraid. His gaze watching every one of your features, they assumed he was thinking of how to taint you, but all the saw was a tenderness comfort from you.
You noticed Ectoplasm come through the door ready to teach the hated maths lesson, “be warned if you get a question wrong, he will glare at you.” You gestured to the man and Shinso’s lip twitched upwards.
“Maybe it’s just because you get the questions wrong.” Shinso remarked back, urning a small slap on the arm to him.
His could feel the tip of his ears redden at how your hand had touched his arm, even though the fabric, your hand had lingered before hearing the sound of the lesson starting. You turned back around trying to look and concentrate on the board but all you could really think about was the boy. He was sweet, he understood your humour and he was nice, and you had no idea where there seemed to be an air of terror around the room.
Lunch had finally arrived just as you were getting your stuff, “Y/n, let’s go to next lunch.” This time it was Midoriya who had spoken, he had fought Shinso and knew everything about him. Seeing you be so friendly to someone who had a quirk like him, it made the green haired boy anxious.
“I’m having lunch with Shinso actually” You took your bag, standing up and allowing Shinso to have a full view of your frame, the loose tie around the white shirt, the thigh highs encasing your legs and making your thighs suffocate between the fabric.
He saw the way the class was looking at the scene and he became angry, maybe even upset. Did they really fear him this much, think he’d become some sort of villain and he’d taint you.
You started walking before waiting, “come on then.” It felt like being beckoned but he followed nevertheless, meeting your gaze and walking past the class with you.
“She’s too nice for her own good.” Mina spoke walking out with Momo.
Momo nodded watching how you stood close to the boy, “he might hurt her, we need to keep an eye on them.”
“What if he’s already in her mind?” Mina spoke callously, it was unknown for the two of them to act like this. But they had seen the festival, and they has seen the look on Midoriya’s eyes when he was being brainwashed. You were too nice, everybody knew that, but you had always been infatuated with his quirk from the first time you saw him use it. You hadn’t fought against him during the sports festival but had made it to the same stage he had.
He wouldn’t have paid attention to you, wouldn’t have looked and watched your fight, you weren’t anybody important. “I bet you’re happy you got moved into our class.” Both of you were rounding a corner and you had been telling him about the classmates, but all he could think about was the hate and disgust he had seen in their eyes.
“Yeah, too bad you’ll probably be my only friend.” He shrugs pulling at this tie to loosen due to feeling constricted.
“So we are friends?” He heard the sign of your chuckle and took a heavy breathe, it was soft and warm, filled with a tender kindness he had never experienced before.
He didn’t meet your gaze, “shut up.” He could almost feel your smile on him, turning to meet your gaze, he was going to be friends with you. He knew that, but was still fearful you’d leave him, leave and be afraid of his quirk.
“I shouldn’t have made you have lunch with me, you probably have your own friends from general studies.” You scratched the back of your head looking forward towards the main hall, you both walked towards the food a hunger taking over you.
He captures your eyes beginning to speak, “not really, I used them a lot in the festival and I guess they got pissed.”
He followed you to the empty seat, sitting opposite you as you picked at your food, “well what did you expect, dumbass.” He gave a low chuckle watching how your hair bounced in place and how you licked your lips after taking a bite of the rice.
“I remember seeing your fight, it was good, too bad you lost.” He taunted back; you rolled your eyes gently kicking his leg from underneath the table. Another flush had erupted from his face feeling your leg graze his own.
“It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t touch her to use my quirk, she kept hitting me.” You whined, he smiled at the action, it was cute, but he was never going to admit that.
Instead raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms whilst leaning back he watched you, “okay then, what is this quirk of yours, I better be impressed.”
“Give me your hand.” He gave a wary look, “I’m not going to break your hand.”
He scoffed, putting his hand out, the rest of the class had arrived a couple minutes prior and had seen the two of you. “I don’t understand why you lot are scared of brainwashing kid, you’re all just pussy’s.” Bakugo stormed walking to another table with Kirishima, Sero and Denki.
All four had to admit his quirk was good, even Bakugo who would say it was shitty. They didn’t really care, and Denki could see him as the popular kid who’d he want to be friends with. The four hadn’t gone up to him due to seeing the glares that you had gotten and the glare of Mina’s that felt ice cold.
Most of them believed fear had caught up but how could they live in fear of the boy when he was in their class permanently. What could they do but see him try to integrate more into the class, Kirishima had even felt happy that you had invited him even after Mina and Momo’s look of horror.
Mina had gone to sit with the girls who seemed a lot more hatred to the boy, you understood Izuku’s anxiousness, but he’d get over it when he got more comfortable. You knew the class would be fine, after these months with them all, they’d be fine hopefully. The girls had watched him put his hand out and your fingers grazing his palms, they had no reason but fear that filled them, one of their close friends getting close with a boy with a quirk like his. It was a recipe for disaster.
“What is she doing?” Jirio asked, she didn’t have the same hatred as Momo, and Mina did. But that was only due to you being closer with the latter.
“Showing her quirk.” Hagakure spoke being able to see a lot more than the others by being the closest to the two of you.
Mina’s eyes widened, “why would she do that?”
The lack of response made it seem more like there was more fear from her than anybody else. Of course she would feel like this, she had seen you grow and been there for you and she didn’t want some stupid brainwashing boy to make you a villain. She hadn’t realised her thoughts, how inconsiderate she had been, he wasn’t a villain but why did she believe it so much. Having seen him control Midoriya it was frightening and now here you were sitting in front of him without acknowledging the fear.
“Basically if I touch any matter really, I can control it, so I touched your hand now…” You had stopped speaking letting your mind go blank as you thought for him to wave at you, “see.”
His eyes widened it was like his, it was something similar not exactly the same. But he felt his chest go heavy, he had fallen for you, from the way you spoke to having seen your fight and see you defeated. He had to admit he thought you were an arrogant weakling but now after you had so effortlessly become friends with him, he felt something a lot more for you.
“Shinso.” The sound of your voice saying his name, drove him wild and he couldn’t move, frozen at how you had spoke so smoothly, how his name on your lips was so effortless and seductive. He might sometimes be coy, but he was blunt but at this moment he couldn’t speak out of fear of losing something potential.
“Sorry.” It was a mutter and you shrugged it off taking him to where training would be.
Having changed into your hero costume you saw Shinso with the detachable mask around his mouth. He walked closer to you, but saw how your friends had come over quickly, he didn’t take a step forward standing still. Until Denki had seen him, “hey, I’m Kaminari.”
“Shinso.” The violet haired boy spoke.
Denki began gleefully talking to no end, “…I think your quirk is cool and you look one of those popular boys in Shojo manga.”
“You read Shojo manga.” Shinso spoke visibly confused but intrigued at the boy.
Denki began to save himself by acting cooler than usual, “what you don’t?”
“Nope.” It was another blunt statement; he had easily been able to not been blunt with you, but he was getting anxious at the motives of Denki’s.
“Come to my room tonight, I’ll show you so many.” Denki had easily said, Shinso nodded, he felt relieved that this mornings antics had all be swept away, even seeing Kirishima and Sero coming along dragging Bakugo beside him. They began to converse and Shinso felt relieved but occasionally looked at you, he found your hero costume beautiful, he understood for the lack of clothes due to it being easy to touch stuff with your any part of your body.
He zoned out looking at how your legs were exposed, the white leotard that encased your body and the long white cape that fell from around your neck, it looked moveable and he could see the material to be controllable for you to grab stuff. You looked like an ethereal angel and he if this really was a Shojo manga his nose would be bleeding right about now.
“We’re doing doubles, get into pairs and then join up with another pair.” Shinso noticed how he probably wouldn’t end up with you or one of the boys as they’d partner up together, but Denki had stayed close to him already an acknowledgement that the two were pairs and Sero had gone to pair up with Sato.
You had seen Denki go up to the boy and you knew your assumptions were right, being partnered with Mina would be hard at how she gave fearful remarks of not getting too close to the boy. You were against Momo and Ururaka, it was an ease using and controlling whatever Momo made but you weren’t fully in the fighting spirt. Your gaze on the fight between Kirishima and Bakugo against Shinso and Denki.
“Y/n, pay attention.” Mina chastised, you nodded continuing to stop Ururaka’s aim, it was easy to get close to them and with ease and Mina’s acid you were able to touch them and control them to stop.
It went on like this for a while, you were glad that with timing you didn’t have to go against Midoriya and Todoroki or Bakugo and Kirishima. They’re power was a lot and you really didn’t want to break any bones today, but fate still ended up hating you and the last fight was against Shinso and Denki.
You could almost feel the smirk through the mask, the capturing weapon surrounding his pretty little neck. “Ready to lose Y/n.” You didn’t speak, knowing exactly what he was going to do.
Denki had come full force at the two of you, you quickly with ease touched him as he swung for Mina who slyly escaped using her acid. You brought the boy up, whispering in his ears a few fatal words, before he stormed at Shinso with his quirk. “Using my teammate against me, so callous of you.”
You still hadn’t spoken, Mina hated how he toyed with you but still remained further away that you did.
“Shinso.” Denki shouted but that was Shinso’s cue to use his own quirk, it went on back and forth using Denki before he overexerted himself and stayed on the ground. Knowing you’d have to make this quick, you ran up to the boy ready to touch him.
But you felt the cool alloy wrap around your bones, Aizawa had seen the progress Shinso had made using them and he was impressed. He was still rough and needed a lot more practice, but he was able to hold onto you with confidence. You tried to get out, but he had made your cape wrap around your skin making his scarf able to not be controlled by you, you were all wrapped up for him in a pretty little present.
“Say the magic words.” He mocked out.
You huffed taking a sign before speaking, “let me out…please.”
He let you go and had begun controlling you, bringing you this time closer to his body. “You did good.” He stopped brainwashing you and you came out of your daze.
“Being under you brainwashing is creepily good, it’s like an out of body experience.” You spoke highly praising the boy before hearing Aizawa dismiss you all.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He laughs walking with you to the changing rooms.
You wanted to ask about his new friendships as it seemed to have been him become a lot more comfortable than you had expected, “you made friends with Denki and them lot.”
“Yeah, they seem okay, even that Bakugo he makes some good points, he’s still arrogant though.” You laughed cocking your head back at the remark.
“That describes him to the T.” You partnered ways getting changed and meeting each other outside to walk to the dorms
He spoke about Denki inviting him to read some Shojo manga, and you couldn’t wait to hear that story. He was even your neighbour which you were happy about, knowing that there was only a thin wall between the two of you.
The days continued on as usual, you spending more and more time with Shinso, the class becoming more comfortable with him, even Midoriya was friendly saying Hi’s in the mornings which Shinso would reply with. It seemed like everybody was growing on him, everybody except Mina and Momo, there was a sense of air that you were still infatuated with him.
They remember your exact words from the sports festival, “his quirk looks kind of scary, I’d rather die then fight him.” You had said it jokingly, but they took it literally and couldn’t understand why you were as scared as they were. They saw the look of evil in his eyes, but the class had moved past, and they seemed to be the only ones left. They were your friends, of course they were but the way they had been acting had made you distance yourself just for them to cool off.
Another fast long week had approached, and it was finally time for the movie night that was occurring, Shinso had walked down with you, the purple hoodie encased his frame with the grey joggers. He had been in awe when you came out of your room in shorts and a zip up hoodie seeing the peak of a tank top underneath. You really did look perfect in anything; it was the moment he knew that he had begun falling for you deeper.
“Denki showed me this Shojo manga, he said you’d read it.” You began to think of the manga’s you had read which happened to be a long list. “Kiss him, not me.”
“Oh yeah, it’s sappy, I love it though, we should watch the anime.” You hadn’t realised what you said but it was obviously an invitation into one another’s rooms to watch a romance anime.
Shinso tried to surpress his cheeks from flushing but continued on speaking, “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Of course.” You laughed meeting the class who had set up in front of the TV, you grabbed the hoodie sleeve of Shinso’s pushing him onto the end of the sofa as you sat beside him. “Now if I fall asleep, I won’t be embarrassed.”
The thought of you falling asleep on him, made his heart beat. He felt butterflies at how you were already partially leaning against him, he watched Mina and Momo glare from the other side, ignoring it though. The movie had started something Bakugo had chosen after winning rock paper scissors, it was disturbing to say the least and you knew you’d end up falling asleep through the second part of it.
Iida had paused the film for breaks being the efficient man he was, Shinso stayed put as you went to get a glass of water. Mina following, “Y/n, why have you been so distant with me?” She was worried for the friendship, had Shinso made you like this?
“Oh, have I, I didn’t realise.” You speak taking a long sip of the water.
“Yeah, you have, did Shinso do this to you? Are you like under his control?” It was unexpected and you choked on your water in shock.
You were trying to keep a lid on your anger, but you had given up, “Mina stop being a fucking bitch to the boy, he hasn’t done anything to me, everybody has warmed up to him except you and Momo and it’s driving me crazy to have to step on egg shells around you. He isn’t a villain okay.”
Her mouth was wide and at your shouting the class had gathered, even Shinso who had heard the last part. Denki put a reassuring arm on his friends shoulder before waiting for Mina’s reply, who hadn’t realised the presence of others.
“He’s probably controlling everybody Y/n, you told me and Momo you would never want to fight him, why would you say that and befriend him?” You thought back to those words you had said months ago.
“I can say I wouldn’t want to fight him because I’m glad he’s on our side.” You muttered, “he’s not controlling all of, stop acting like this.”
Mina tried to move closer to you, but you put your arm out to stop her, “can’t you see we’re all scared of him; he’s going to end up a villain.”
Shinso broke at those words, he coughed making Mina realise what she had said, the faces of 19 angry faces glaring at her. Shinso began to speak and Mina was scared shitless, “I’m going to head up early.”
“Shin…” He moved past everybody walking away, he wasn’t in the mood for confrontation and now all he could think about was you, why weren’t you scared of him, why were you so kind to him?
You barged past the girl, “don’t fucking talk to me until you apologise to him.” You ran to follow the boy who had already taken the elevator, you thought over the scene and he needed someone.
Walking towards his door, you knocked waiting for him to open it, he looked sad, upset even. You didn’t know what to say seeing his glum face, “she shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s the truth though, isn’t it, I’ll always be seen as a villain.” You went to reach for him, but he took a step backwards, “that’s the thing, I don’t understand though.”
“What, Shinso?” You questioned closing the door and leaning against it.
“Why aren’t you scared of me?” Your eyes widened.
“Why would I ever be scared of you?”
He came close to your smaller frame, his arms crossed above your head leaning down to meet your eyes. “My quirk its not very hero type now is it.”
“Shinso, I never cared about your quirk, yeah its cool but I saw you, for you not your quirk.” You rested your hands on his chest, hoping to bring comfort.
One of his hands, moved to your cheek, caressing it softly and slowly. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“No, it’s fine, I want you to know that I like you for you.” You hadn’t meant for a confession of your crush to come out, but you stopped caring, you liked him, you really did, and you didn’t care if Mina and Momo didn’t. They would have to acknowledge it one way or another.
His other hand moved your hair away from your face, “you’re lucky then.” He moved his face closer to yours, you could smell the caramel popcorn fresh from his breathe.
“Why?” You tilted your head waiting for the gap to close.
Just as his lips skimmed yours, he spoke softly, “that I like you for you t…” He never finished his sentence, instead kissing you softly, your soft lips engulphed within his own. Your hands in his hair as he brought his hands to grip your waist. He felt every inch of you in that one kiss, hearing a soft moan which allowed his tongue to take the lead and make you own submit. It felt intoxicating and heavy, with teeth on teeth and his grip tightening against your waist. He wanted to feel you on him, he didn’t care what the two girls thought of him anymore because he had you and that was all he ever needed.
Tumblr media
i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x
if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx
@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @ukaisgratefulwhore @answer-the-sirens
541 notes · View notes
prettyboykatsuki · 3 years
Text
»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — «« 
sfw alphabet | k. tetsuro
➳ tags ;; fluff, angst, alcohol + sex mention but nothing explicit
➳ a/n ;; reupload from my old blog that an anon asked for <3 
»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — «« 
 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
➳ Kuroo is a genuinely affectionate person towards his loved ones. Naturally, he does like to mess with you just a bit by withholding kisses or hugs - but truthfully he can’t push it too much because he really likes showing you attention.
➳ Also despite himself and his love for teasing you, Kuroo isn’t a big fan of PDA! He likes having a hand resting on your back, rubbing circles into your hand and squeezing, or a very quick kiss to the temple when no ones looking but he prefers to show his soft side when it’s the two of you alone. He can go from making fun of you to wrapping his strong arms around you and whispering sweet nothings to you in a matter of seconds 
➳ Kuroos affection isn’t limited to touch, or is it even really dictated by touch. His love language is acts of service and quality time - so he more often than not shows his affection through gestures. Warm towels if you’re at his place, taking your car to get filled with gas, putting ice on your snowy sidewalk so you make it home safe. Kuroo’s nonchalance towards everything is genuinely funny contrast to how truly and utterly considerate he is towards you and your well-being. 
➳ Maybe not conventionally affectionate but affectionate all the same. 
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
➳ Kuroo is the kind of best friend that you have for like..10+ years. If you two feel truly platonically towards one another - he’s the kind of best friend that makes other people in your life insecure because you simply know each other so well and love each other so much in the sense that you’re platonic soulmates. 
➳ There’s probably no one in the world who knows you quite as well as Kuroo does and it goes the same for you. Neither of you can ever stop being friends because you two know too damn much about the other. Kuroo knows about the weird moles and pimples on your body and you know about his weird boner stories from when you two were in middle and highschool. You really can’t afford to stop being friends, so good luck trying to escape him. 
So. Many. Inside Jokes. Y’all are terrible sometimes. I don’t think either of you ever realize how many you’ve got and you end up referring to them so normally sometimes people don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about and everyone just kinda sighs and lets you two talk on your own. AND yall wonder why no one wants to talk to you two… like you aren’t busy just talking to each other. Kenma is probably the only person who can decipher any of the shit you say, and let’s out a few breaths through his nose but that’s about it. 
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
➳ Kuroo doesn’t love full on cuddling, tbh. He’s more of a fan of like.. laying on top of each other or other smaller forms of affection. He also is pretty keen on liking hugs (loves backhugs.. giving and receiving. when he feels your body pressed against his back he literally melts) but he’s not big into spooning. He doesn’t mind it if you wanna do it though - if he knows you like cuddling, he’s down for you to do it but it’s not where he defaults. 
➳ Kuroos cuddles are more like you laying your legs in his lap and him massaging your calves. You falling asleep holding his arms. You playing with his hair when he’s tucked under you. He likes casual cuddling as opposed to cuddling sessions. 
➳ When he’s really exhausted though - he’ll give you a real worn out smile and pull you deadass on top of him. Like just your body weight on top of him (and no, he doesn’t care that you might be heavy. He knows that) and just stares up at your face. Bonus points if your hands come up and play with his face (LOVES THAT) 
➳ “long day, tetsu?,” as you cradle his face in your palms. He’ll pin your wrist with his hand and kiss the inside of it before rubbing his face against it like a cat. 
➳ “long day baby,” 
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
➳ Kind of sad, but Kuroo knows how to take care of himself really well because of his parents divorce when he was a kid. He did a lot of cooking and cleaning really young because his older sister was out of the house but he was still young enough to be living there. She would do everything she could for Kuroo in other ways (i.e. helping pay for volleyball and shit like that) but Kuroo was a really independent kid and practically raised himself. Kenma’s mom took care of him too - but Kuroo was like 7 or 8 learning how to fold laundry. By the time he was in highschool, he pretty much did everything for himself. 
➳ In terms of domesticity, at a certain point - Kuroo genuinely just accepts you as The One and from then on, you two are a pretty serious couple. You live together early on, and are the kind of relationship in which both of you are just very assured that the other person is the one. Kuroo gets his first nice apartment with you on the lease, and eventually you two buy a condo together in the long run. He enjoys being with you a lot. Home is wherever you are you know. 
➳ Surprisingly, one of Kuroos favorite things to do with you is clean with you. You two have a playlist of music that you bump on your speakers as you do your spring/weekly cleaning. You take turns cleaning the bathroom each week. You’ll fold laundry while Kuroo fixes the bedsheets. It’s a team effort and genuinely one of his most beloved ways of spending time with you. When you both get tuckered out, you sit on the floor of your fresh apartment, and drink wine and watch sitcoms. Domestic bliss. 
➳ On another note, Kuroo can’t cook for shit baby - but he helps. He can cut kinda efficiently but he’s a hovering boyfriend in the kitchen so normally you just kick him out. Always does the dishes afterwards though! 
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
➳ Straightforward about it. Kuroo isn’t gonna beat around the bush when it comes down to a break-up, because the decision to break-up probably took him a long time to get too. Kuroo has a soft heart, and he’s a hopeless romantic. Similar to how his childhood influenced him in one way, Kuroo can’t help but want to fix and repair every relationship he’s in. Even at the cost of his sanity, if it helps keep him and his s/o together, he’ll do it in a heartbeat. Afterall, why would he want to start over with another person? Kuroo chases love, but when he finds it for the first time, he cannot think about loving anyone but you. If you’re breaking up, it’s not over something petty. It’s after hours of contemplating whether this is the right thing to do for the both of you. Hours and hours of holding back tears and wishing things would be different. I can’t see him doing it first to be honest, but if has too - he’s to the point.
➳ To your face it might not seem like he cares. He just says it, those dreaded words. He gives you closure, about how it just wasn’t working anymore and all of that and then he just.. leaves. He seems fine. 
➳ As soon as he gets to the car, his head drops down onto the steering with a thud and his soft hiccuping cries turning into full blown sobs. His face is in his hands and he’s cursing under his breath. He feels like a part of him has been torn from his body and everything fucking hurts. It’s a pitiful sight. 
➳ He really misses you, you know? 
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
➳ Hesitant about marriage, naturally. I don’t think I need to repeat myself on why. He’s still incredibly loyal to you. You two are the kind of couple that date for years. Like.. at least 8+ years of dating but tbh, neither of you mind that much. I think to be with Kuroo, you need to be willing and open-minded about the structure of a relationship. Kuroo values independence and marriage as an institution puts a lot of pressure on a relationship in Kuroo’s mind. He would rather you two continue to love and cherish one another without the extra force of needing to get married. 
➳ He does want too though, don’t get me wrong. Not at the cost of your emotional responsibilities being increased though, but as a way to show his loyalty. He’ll propose when the time is right for both of you - no pressure. 
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
➳ Kuroo isn’t particularly gentle in either way to be honest! It’s not bad though. 
➳ Physically, he can be gentle when it’s appropriate. Mostly during the day, or when he’s comforting you and it calls for more gentle touches. However, Kuroo’s emotions around you aren’t very delicate and he expresses himself through physical touch. So his hugs are passionate, generally. All of his affection is an expression of his strong feelings towards you - the correlation is strong so Kuroo isn’t really all that gentle. His love and his touch are full of feeling and strong. A little overwhelming in a good way. 
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
➳ Hugs are his favorite forms of affection. Hugs that last super long, like longer than they need too where you melt into his tight embrace and he can bury his face in your shoulder or in your hair and take a deep breath. You smell like you and that’s so much more comforting than you know. Kuroo hugs long and just right - arms around your waist with just enough pressure, his hands on your lower back. 
➳ He gives you hugs constantly. At home it’s back hugs, chin resting on your shoulder to peep at whatever you’re doing on your phone. In public, quick ones where he’s kissing your forehead before enveloping you in an over dramatic way to where you’re laughing. After a long day at the office, it’s a long, silent hug. Just gentle sighs and breaths, soft beating hearts. More like an embrace, you know. 
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
➳ Slow. If you’re hoping to verbally hear Kuroo say the words “I love you,” you’re in for a shit show and you’re gonna be waiting for a while. It’s not that Kuroo doesn’t want to say it, or even that he doesn’t know. He’s known for so long, probably way earlier than you did. The first time he almost said it, you two had been dating for only 3 weeks. It flustered him so much - he literally short circuited, stuttering trying to cover it up. The memory haunts him. 
➳ He says it after you two have sex for the firs time or after your first really serious fight - depends tbh. It just happens when he’s heavy in his feelings, like so overwhelmed by something. For him - admitting to it is genuinely some kind of end all be all. He loves you - openly and saying that is hard. It’s vulnerable for him. Kuroo got used to dodging his feelings. 
He shows you all the time how he feels. Saying it is just nerve-wracking and he needs a bit of push to do so. 
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
➳ Not super jealous! Sorry if that’s disappointing, but Kuroo is a really secure partner and he tries to dodge petty feelings of jealousy and rarely experiences them. Like.. if you just have close guy friends Kuroo really isn’t gonna throw a fit. However.. 
➳ Kuroo can always, always tells when someone is interested in you. It’s like a 6th, spidey sense he has. You, on the other hand, do not know when someone is interested in you. You just happen to think your co-worker of the opposite sex who always eats lunch with you and calls you his work-wife is being friendly and open with you but Kuroo can just sense it. Again, he isn’t a jealous boyfriend. Not at all. But seeing all the light drain from that guys eyes when you give him a kiss as he picks you up from work? 
➳ That felt pretty good, he has to be honest. 
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?
➳ Forehead kisses! So many forehead kisses! When he was little, Kenmas mom would smother him in affection and always pulled back his super messy hair to kiss his forehead. Kuroo picked up on the habit plus he’s pretty tall so it’s easier to reach you that way. Also a fan of just kissing the top of your head if he can. 
➳ He likes kissing your knuckles too, he’s traditional that way. His favorite is kissing your lips in little bursts. Kuroo likes the way your chapstick tastes so much, it’s actually kinda sweet. 
➳ His kisses are so full of yearning. It feels like you’re melting together, it’s fluid and tends to be passionate. When he’s feeling playful, he kisses you then pulls back and brushes his lips against yours before kissing you again and again again until you’re giggling. 
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
➳ So good with kids, holy shit. You wouldn’t expect it but he’s just a natural at it. He always picks up the fake phone, drinks the imaginary tea with the most sincere review. Makes it look super easy and kids gravitate towards him because he’s just so friendly. He’s not afraid to look stupid and he’s confident and handsome so they like him. 
➳ He loves talking to kids, too. Half the time they’re saying nothing and Kuroo is like fuck yeah you tell em, and he MEANS IT. 
➳ Kid magnet at parties, ends up spending more time with them than with the adults but he doesn’t mind tbh. He jokes about playing mom and dad like you aren’t busy picturing it the whole time, smh. 
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
➳ Tend to be pretty face paced! You two normally wake up at different times, with Kuroos crazy work hours - your schedules are pretty mis-matched. Kuroo shows he’s thinking of you by making sure the shower has enough hot water, that the towels are folded and fresh, and that the water is on for when you inevitably go downstairs for coffee or tea. Those are the three things he pretty much always makes sure to do as a way to say love. If he has time to write a note, he will - but if not, he sends you a text when he gets to work and you do the same for work/uni. 
➳ On Sundays, it’s a lot of sleeping in and making breakfast together and doing a shit-ton of nothing all day. Kuroo will pull you into him if you try to get up before him, cuddling into your back and whispering later in a gravelly morning voice. Sometimes you two shower together in an sfw way - Kuroo scrubs your back and you wash his hair. It’s fun and playful, but soft and intimate too. Kuroo always forgets to shave so sometimes you mess with the scruff on his chins. 
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
➳ You two always go to sleep together, at the same time if you can help it. If not, the other will stay up as long as they can or they sleep in the presence of each other. Neither of you are allowed to bring any work to bed, which is why there’s a desk in the corner of your bedroom. Work is work, sleep is sleep. Kuroo think’s it’s important to separate the two out, but sometimes if you two miss each other too much - you’ll just kinda hang around and sleep. 
➳ Like Kuroo will let you just curl up on his lap and sleep on his chest while he works without a word of complain, soft smile on his face and eventually telling himself it can wait till tomorrow.
➳ Other than that, you two sort of talk yourselves to sleep? You do your small, independent routines and then come together and just sort of chat quietly until one of you falls asleep, normally you. Kuroo will kiss your forehead when you do, whisper night, and turn over to fall asleep himself. You two always end up tangled in each other though. 
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
➳ You and Kuroo have a lot of deep conversations before you ever start dating. It just kinda.. happens? Like many things in your relationship but you two talk A Lot. You never really run out of things to say to each other, because Kuroo genuinely values your insights and vice versa. It’s a core of your relationship and the both of you genuinely like discussion - though Kuroo can get kind of into debate territory when he has a strong opinion on something. 
➳ When it comes to personal conversations, the words just.. come out of him. It’s slow for sure, but he can’t keep track of how much you know about him in the end. You always mention small details about himself and grin when you watch his face light up with a delighted surprise. It’s a gradual thing
➳ Kuroo has a lot of walls, so it takes a lot of time for him to really lay himself out in the open for you but he tells you eventually. In a way, he’s testing how long you can endure and be patient with his pacing for love. 
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
➳ Kuroo is rarely genuinely angry. He gets agitated over small things a lot but the moment is so fleeting, he forgets about the shit in like an hour. Really little things like getting cut off while driving or people who are rude to fast food workers. He gets a lil tick in his jaw and sighs, but gets over it really fast. Other than that, Kuroo is rarely ever mad. He doesn’t care enough about most things to be angry over it. 
➳ The only times he’s mad, is when something is really outright wrong or stupid. Like if a close friend is making an openly poor decision, Kuroo will get pissed. It’s the same with you - he wants what’s best for you and if you do something he knows is bad for you, it upsets him. Even so, he wouldn’t get angry with you. He tries to cool down as best he can to avoid as much 
➳ You do argue though sometimes, and damn they are nasty arguments. Neither of you goes unscathed but Kuroo isn’t too stubborn on apologizing and working things out. Too empathetic to your feelings to let it go on for a long time. 
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
➳ It’s more like what he doesn’t know about you. Kuroo remembers everything. He has a note in his phone of the way you like your food. He knows where you grew up, and about your childhood pets, and the way you used to play pretend. He knows how you do your hair, knows all your favorite things and things you hate and just the easiest way to get on your nerves and what makes your skin get hot. Kuroo keeps parts of you in his heart like memorabilia and finds it hard to forget things even if he wants too, attaching certain things to you in a way he hasn’t anyone else. 
Sometimes though, he forgets really random things. Like small things you don’t talk any offense too that more just confuse you. He knows the name of your parents, but forgets whether you’re left or right handed. 
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
➳ Tough to pick just one but it sticks out as the first time Kuroo was really having a shit day. Normally he tries to swallow down his feelings in moments like that -  forget,  when he’s around you and show you the parts of him you like. He already knows he’s on thin ice with his general demeanor, kind of mean and assholey. He has this constant worry you’re gonna get tired of all of it someday, tire of having to read between the lines about his feelings. He tries really hard to be pleasant around you. 
➳ But it wasn’t working that day, and he could just feel himself being unable to mask his feelings. You confront him about it, and he tells you - wholly expecting you to be.. well..annoyed with him maybe. He isn’t sure. But the way you handle it.. and handle him really sticks out in his mind. He tells you and instead of saying anything about it, you make him lean his head on your shoulder. Your cheek resting ontop of his hand, him holding your hand - you say “I’m sorry about your day. lets rest here and go get food,” and then just.. sit with him like that. 
➳ It was like you read his mind, there was just something so stand out about the way you handled his feelings. Empathetic, and giving him an easy out for how to deal with them. He’s used to being relied on, not relying on others. It honestly made him want to cry. 
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
➳ So, so protective of you. He shields you from a lot, probably a lot more than you have any idea about. It’s really second nature to him.He doesn’t even know why all the way, it’s just that he wants you to be away from things that could harm you. Mentally or physically, he would do anything to keep you content and away from bad things. Still, you insist on sharing burdens with him and even though he understands why it has to be that way, if he could take everything on for himself - he would. 
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
➳ You two don’t get a lot of time to spend time together during the week, so Kuroo puts a lot of effort into things like date night and anniversaries where you can take the time to celebrate each other. Kuroo prefers going out for date night, and likes spoiling you to very expensive dinners and shit like that. He doesn’t mind domestic dates if that’s what you like, but he loves to show you off (a bad habit of his tbh) so anywhere you can get nice and dolled up and Kuroo gets to have you on his arm is ideal. Posting you on all his socials, gassing you up all night with a hand on your waist. 
➳ In the everyday, it’s very little things he always does to make sure you know he’s thinking about you. Texting you, calling you on his breaks, sometimes he’ll have coffee and shit delivered to your apartment/office when he has some time. Small gestures and acts of love like that. 
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
➳ When he has a strong opinion, he gets really fucking arguementative. He is a BITCH to argue with because he really doesn’t like admitting he’s wrong, plus he’s petty with a sharp tongue. Don’t date him unless you’re at least a little tough because even if you’re getting hurt by his words, Kuroo finds it hard to snap out of his anger sometimes and can just be a real pain to talk too sometimes. Just very… debate? Sometimes feels like he just argues to argue.
➳ Other bad habits are small, but is forgetful about picking up after himself - mostly with clothes. If he’s tired from work especially, socks on the floor, pants in the hall-way like a trail. It slips his mind if he’s tired enough. 
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
➳ Not very! Kuroo is really hygienic but in terms of like.. making himself look good or better, eh. He still works-out because he finds the routine is good for him mentally, but he has this very natural good-looking aura to him and it’s genuinely effortless. If he put even a hair more effort into his looks, it’d be wild. That’s why he cleans up so good but he’s got this lived in kind of sexy look to him, a little scruffy, messy-ish hair but still really cleaned up. His looks just suit him so well. 
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
➳ Nah, but Kuroo doesn’t feel like he’s really himself with anyone but with you. He’d be devastated if something ever happened between the two of you, but in a way - Kuroo would feel like all good things come to an end just like you two did, so he’d move on. But there’s this lingering sense that he’s not himself anymore, like he doesn’t know who he really is unless you can pull out the authenticity from him. He always had his guard down around you so once you’re gone, they go right back up. He loses himself it almost feels like, like he doesn’t know exactly who he is anymore. 
➳ He struggles with impostor syndrome all the time, so it just worsens when you leave. It’s almost dehumanizing. 
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
➳ Kuroo has a soothing singing voice. It’s just nice, kind of low and soft. It’s gravelly too, but still so soothing. When you’re tired and ask him to sing to you, he will. He sings very gold Japanese love songs that his mom would dance to him with in the house when he was little. But his favorite thing to sing is fly me to the moon, he knows the words by heart. He has a hand on the small of your back with you curled into your chest, smiling as he feels your breathing go even. 
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
➳ He hates anyone who isn’t open-minded! That’s one of the things he absolutely cannot put up with. Ignorance is incredibly unattractive to Kuroo, and that goes beyond obvious things like bigotry but generally, judgement of other people because of how they live instead of their character. Kuroo is incredibly respectful of people different from him, because he thinks it’s more important to understand someone's character than get caught up in other things. If he feels that vibe off of someone, he will generally steer away from there. 
➳ He thinks if someone is overly concerned with how other people live, they’re bitter - that vibe turns Kuroo off. 
➳ Also Kuroo understands if his partner is insecure or has self-esteem issues, but doesn’t like people who bait for his attention. He prefers you just be authentic with stuff like that so acting out in a negative way for his attention can be a turn off.  
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
➳ Snoring! Very soft snoring, but he most definitely snores. Sometimes, depending on what position he sleeps, it’s not so.. gentle? and he wakes himself and you up. He apologies everytime and ends up sleeping on his back so he isn’t too loud. He also likes cuddling in his sleep but he doesn’t realize it most of the time so you’ll be half-way awake with this 6’4 man curled around you like a cat, not realizing it.
»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — «« 
191 notes · View notes
Note
Hi I am enjoying your blog and the your version of Moreau. I have three questions for you. (1) What kind of relationship did your version of pre and post cadou Moreau have with the four Lords and Duke? (2) If your Moreau was able to recover and heal from what happened to him and was take in by BSAA what would he do after besides recover and heal from what happened to him? (3) What dose your version of pre- cadou Moreau's home look like?
Aw thank you so much!! I’m so glad you like em!!
Oo these will be fun to answer!!
Long text post so!! Continue under the cut
1. Salvatore has seen and met Alcina before, as she moves to and fro from the village and elsewhere (America). Likely, she has seen him for her skin condition at least once? But I’d imagine she’s a bit… difficult to work with and demand more doctors to give her a diagnosis on her Porphyria. Though their interactions were limited, again, he was just doing his job and if she didn’t like the results hey don’t blame him. Post-mutation however, Alcina barely recognizes him but when the realization hits her, she tries not to remind herself of that connection. Moreau doesn’t remember either, but he’s definitely intimidated by her. Alcina probably sees him as a walking study of “at least I didn’t have it as bad as this guy”, you know? And generally talks down to and about him for being slow and gross (Moreau has definitely barfed on her dress at least once by accident it’s,, it’s sad). Though she does pity him to an extent, but she won’t show that.
Pre-mutation, Moreau has seen Donna and the Beneviento family before as they moved in from Italy (their ancestry goes back to the village, but the family moved away for generations before coming back to live at the mansion just because I guess). He had more to talk about with the family than with Donna, since she was a baby at that time. He likes being with the Benevientos since they’re more low key? And the father’s project to make a doll for the baby a,ways seemed sweet to him (though the design was… unnerving). (Also they both have Italian heritages lmao ). Donna barely remembers Moreau at all, but neither does Moreau post-mutation. She probably treats him with the most kindness (though Angie can be quite blunt and crude about his appearance, which hurts his feelings of course). She pities him, but does genuinely find him to be nicer company than the other two lords. They have tea, watch movies, and even make small trinkets for each other! (Donna making a small toy for Moreau, and Moreau in turn making her a little accessory).
Pre-mutation Moreau has never met Karl (I imagined he was from outside of the village entirely and barely has any ancestry relating to the Lords, but Miranda offered him a home in the village and under her wing since he was a runaway kid with barely anything). But if he did, I’d imagine he’d be a better father figure to Karl than Miranda a mother to him. Post mutation however, Moreau is more or less reduced to Karl’s emotional punching bag. Moreau’s honestly intimidated and scared of Karl (and his environment of the factory is a sensory hellscape and he carries that energy around everywhere he goes so yeah). But as a newcomer to the village, Karl probably talked to the other villagers and the new doctor who tried to fill in Moreau’s role, and heard about him that way. And how he hated Miranda but in the end became amiable and studied under her, and eventually just disappeared entirely (rumored to study abroad in other countries). As Karl grows to become more resentful of Miranda for manipulating him as a child, he starts to feel alone and resentful of Moreau as a result too, since he puts two and two together that this Moreau was the very same one who would stand up to Miranda all that while before. Maybe he taunts and aggravates Moreau in order to encourage some “fight” back in him? But ultimately all that is left of Moreau is basically a husk and he’s helpless under Mother Miranda’s bidding. Moreau doesn’t remember or know any of Karl’s side of the story though, so he’s just left with the impression that he’s just being mean to him because a. He deserves it and b. Karl is just Like That. But Karl does still take pity on Moreau occasionally and help him fix his tv or get some movies for him on occasion- but the few instances of kindness probably just confuses Moreau more. He doesn’t like not being able to predict what Karl would do or feel.
Moreau was aware and has met the Duke before his mutation, and sensed some eerie things about him. Never heard of him anywhere, doesn’t know where he’s from, just… there hanging around the village at convenient times ?? But salvatore isn’t complaining, considering how generous the man is when it comes to providing some food and shelter when he needs it. He also just so happens to have some peculiar samples of preserved sea life that he said were just “brought from a friend”. Moreau loves to marvel at those in particular, and has bought a sample for himself just to gaze at in the comfort of his own home. But the Duke also has a great selection of movies and books too- Moreau eats that stuff up. But even with all the offered goods, he still feels wary around him. The Duke kinda has a weird Eldritch effect on people that makes you feel confused and unsettled even though there are no perceived threats, and Moreau gets paranoid easily, so he prefers to keep their times together more limited, even if they are pleasant. But post mutation, the Duke is one of Moreau’s only friends and confidantes. He frequently drags himself to him to purchase books or movies, but still feels ashamed for it (and feeling like a burden). And yeah Moreau frequently visits the Duke to also vent and cry about how he feels neglected by Miranda and how hideous he feels. The Duke naturally pities him, but is more so saddened to see how his acquaintance has gotten to such a state. Poor Moreau… he wishes there was a way he could intervene and keep this from happening to him. But there’s no use, seeing as Moreau has lost his memory of who or what his life once was. The best he could do is keep him company, offer him some new pieces of entertainment, and listen to him cry his woes whenever he needs to.
2. After everything, and assuming he is able to regain his memories, he wants to still help people definitely. Being a doctor is the first thing he’d try to return to doing, but he knows his appearance is unsettling, so it’ll take a while for that shell to break through. But outside of that, he wants to return to a more simple life. And of course- fishing. He’d probably like to go back to fishing, since he’s already used to doing that in his mutated form as well. It has always brought him some peace of mind, and if anyone else is willing, he’d make some food for them from his catch of that day. He also wouldn’t mind making and selling homemade crafts- it’d help with the guilt of his experiments and making bad things for mother Miranda- maybe this time, he can make good things for everyone else and maybe potential friends? But definitely most importantly for him, he wants to rejoin society. Even if his appearance wouldn’t allow for total normalcy, it would be amazing just to watch a movie on the big screen, or go to a movie club to just talk about film, and just walk around in the open. Buying things, meeting people (even if he isn’t socialized very well), sharing what he knows and loves… just being human. That’s probably what he wants to feel and return to, whether he retains his pre-mutation memory or not. And maybe even try his hand at writing his own scripts just for fun.
3. Humble home! Wooded shack by the reservoir- he likes to keep the place clean too. He has fishing gear around the place, and a table for crafting little trinkets like lures and bracelets. He has lots of books, mostly science, medicine and biology stuff, but also self help books like Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and some film books and classic literature (thrillers and romances are his favorites). His medicine and general doctoring gear, notes, etc etc is in a separate room (he likes to keep things easy to find. Everything has its place and every place has its designated things). And of course, he has an old monochrome TV and a radio in his kitchen/dining area. He likes to work with music or white noise from the TV while he cooks for himself. He probably likes this home a lot too due to its vicinity to the fishing area- just a short walk away, and he can go have fun fishing.
Sorry this took so long, but I hope you like it!
48 notes · View notes
dammitjameskirk · 2 years
Text
tw suicide, tw death mention, tw suicidal ideation
hi guys!! today is my birthday!!
i have a long post here full of some stuff i felt was important enough to share. don't worry, it's not anything actually bad or scary, but it IS talking about the concepts and how much today means to me.
(if this posts 2 times, tumblr is a fcking dumpster fire and i wrote this out once already but it didn't schedule properly that i can see so i'm posting it a little early bc i have to go to bed now)
it's been a while! like a long while. we've all been around here for years at this point. i'm writing this bc my birthday is today, and it was pretty important to me in my whole tumblr time bc….at some point, i started making a 'death queue' for when i killed myself. not 'if', but 'when'. like it was unquestionable and matter-of-fact, not having to think about life past the age of, specifically, 26.
well today is my 26th birthday. and guess what? i'm still here! i'm still kicking! i'm going to keep on doing that!
this isn't meant to be inspirational; it's actually meant to be a little bit sad in the way that i have to admit to it at all. i made a death queue, and i had to remove a bunch of posts before midnight tonight so i could make sure to tell anyone who's still out there that i am not, in fact, dead. (i'm also much cooler than i was when i was making these posts! it's fun to see the old tags.) i have a queue tag of 'since queue been gone' because of this. honestly i'm not getting rid of most of the posts, since i still like them AND i think they deserve to be scattered on my blog. but i did do a fair amount of them just…..randomly scheduled throughout the next couple of years.
here's the post that was meant to kickstart everything; i'm sharing it here because for quite a while it was…comforting? in a way? to think of it as a little capsule. the beginning of the queue, something to both dread and look forward to. it's not easy or something i would ever want to make someone look at. but at the same time, i need to share it, because of how much it meant.
Tumblr media
it was so morbid. making a death queue? hello? but it helped me, when i was having really rough nights. i wanted….a little wave? to anyone who still followed a defunct blog? or if my friends ever wanted to check on my old profiles. i don't know what kind of therapy that would've needed but yknow. here we are. i just wanted to be able to say 'hi, i'm still thinking of you, and i still want to share what's in my brain with you'. it was…nice, in a way, to think about the future like that. it's very scary to think about the future like this instead. can you believe i now have to make myself be in the future? i hate this. this is the Bad Place. but at the same time, i'm still here, i made it this far. i will keep on making it, for now.
anyway, if you see a post crop up on my blog with weird tags or something that doesn't make sense with my current content (although most of it is still pretty in line with me lol i have not changed that much)… well. at least there's this half of an explanation. i'm still here. life is hard and scary and now i can no longer tell myself 'dont worry, you wont have to deal with this once you turn 26'. jokes on me, because now i've turned 26 and i very much have to deal with 'this'. i'll figure it out though! things will turn out better. i will make them.
thanks for reading! this wasn't intended for any pity parties or anyone really talking to me about it. maybe one day i'll be able to afford a therapist to actually break things down. but for now, there's this. love you all!
8 notes · View notes
gangrenados · 4 years
Note
Could you do a Headcannon with a affectionate s/o? With Dick and Jason.
Here it is! hope you like it  💖
Jason Todd
Tumblr media
°Having a lot of affection in his life is quite new for Jason, he's used to the harsh touch of violence and dread, not the tender warmth of a hug. He has to battle with himself to not pull away whenever you hug him by surprise or try to put your legs or arms around him when you're cuddling.
°Your love and affection is pretty soothing to him, there's nothing better in the world than having you between his arms, but it's hard to switch to a soft behavior after spending a lot of time fighting against ruthless crminals.
°It's a process for Jason to calm down and low his guard, but when he finally does then he'll become a cuddle addicted. Jason will start off shyly, like he's not trying to sneak in between your arms and get you to caress his scalp, so he will approach slowly but surely, maybe pretending he's sleepy would do the job.
°After a while the only thing he has to do is ask or maybe if he's feeling bold then he will drag you to the nearest soft place and lay there with you.
°Don't expect him to be open about being all cheesy and touchy all the time, Jason has his bad days where things are to hard to deal with and the least thing he want is having someone touching him.
°Days where he remembers the day of his death would result in Jason isolating himself from any kind of touch, he prefers having you away from him since there's times that the rage and sadness could blind him and he could end up doing something he might regret.
°But in a most kind light, Jason blushed the first time you did anything remotly cute by surprise.
°It could have been the first time you held hands while walking down town, you didn't even said a thing when you laced your fingers togheter and approached lightly to where he was.  He was amused, surprised even but he didn't dare to say a thing since he didn't want to ruin the moment.
°Or when you wre so happy that you jumped on Jason and kissed him in the most passioned and yet sweet way possible. Jason had only heart eyes for you when you pulled away.
°And your sleepy "I love you's" have a melting effect on his heart and sooner than expect a shy but proud smile forms on his face, e can't belive you truly love him, but he's grateful you do so.
Dick Grayson
Tumblr media
°Dick is a kind man, he likes to be there for others in need and bring a hand whenever he can. He's not a stranger when it comes to love, but he tends to forget how it feels to be the one being loved.
°But he needs it and when low days come it's hard for him to ask for it, however, Dick is always glad you're there to bring him some some. It doesn't matter if it's just a simple caress on his cheek, that gesture can make his mood change a bit.
°But sometimes Dick feels overwhelmed with all of his problems and liabilties, he tends to close himself to the world and focus on nothing more than work and finish the job.
°Without wanting to, he might forget  about those little things like going to bed togheter o goodbye/goodmorning kisses; it's seens like his mind is filled with nothing but job, putting your affection aside.
°It's the same thing when he's feeling down, Dick feels worthless of receiving love and tenderness. He needs to feel punished for himself to rethink about what's happening, so  he decides to isolate himself for almost everyone if he can and just stay there .
°It's pitiful the state Dick can get when he goes through those rough times, but if you get to reach to him, then Dick would break in front of you: crying so hard his eyes turn slightly red, he feels ashamed you're seeing him so he tries to repress it, but some sorryful sobs escape from time to time. He hold you closer to him and hide his face on the crook of your neck, another way to evade your face.
°It's amusing the way he's so surprised when you hug or him unexpectedly, he has to take some seconds to process everything before acting.
°Dick can be a touchy boyfriend pretty easily, it's not weird for him to sneak behind you and engulf you into a hug or when kisses you so sweeetly but rushing because you were just passing by. He's an overly affective boyfriend and both of you love it.
°In early mornings when you both are just waking up, he'll snuggle closer to you. His soft hair would be tickling your exposed skin lightly as Dick makes himself comfortable on top of you, the grip he holds on you is unescapable, but your not planning to go anytime soon when your pretty boyfriend is pouting for you to stay.
°Dick's heart skips a beat whenever you call him by a silly yet lovely nickname, he loves it so much. There's something about it that makes him feel special, but when you call him by it in front of the team? He would blush, his cheeks turning in a light pink shade as do his best to ignore the teasing comments of your friends.
Tag list @bathroom-sand @aterriblelangblr @simpery @strangerthings14 @jyarumu0619 @kellieriddle96 @adarksoul098 @rosethegothamhistorynerd @duckmylife18 @panic-attheplace @malfoys-demigod @darkraven197 @magicisabluewish @hamdehlesmis @lucy-roo @lovelyartemisa @missmaskedwriter @c0-77 @ginevraxrogers @imagines-fluff-yandere-smut @shadygoateeprincess @nervousfandom @ghost-bitch @silverw19 @thegirlwholovesbooksblog @astroherogirl @hecatemacbeth7 @unknowntoanyone @mistalli @screechingghostbananafarm @psych0crybaby @barnowl48 @waroncheer @lady-stirling @mayempress@abbychuela @ghostly-ginger @greeknerd007 @honeydolly @caswinchester2000 @sara5208 @la-femme-lupita @jasonsballsack @violettessuniverse @wondergal21 @disnerd626 @pree-2003-blog
288 notes · View notes
bitter-sweet-coffee · 2 years
Text
while i'm in a typing mood (but not typey enough to answer some analysis asks or write my promised fic chapters OR ANY OF MY WORK THAT WAS DUE THIS WEEK OH GOD) i just wanna say:
thank u! thank you lovely followers and mutuals and friends and bastards (you know who you are) you're all besties and my pms are always open (asks too! and anon is fixed if you wanna talk to me that way bc i sometimes seem scary, idk it happene)
you're all very lovely and sometimes i feel like i take the sonic fandom for granted sometimes or brush it off because it's a small circle on here for a pretty dead fandom, and infinite/espio/wave lovers are hard to come by (can't say the same for shadow but him interacting with these characters is quite uncommon).
sometimes i underestimate how much people care about all my random blabbery posts because there are only like 4 infinite blogs, maybe 2 infinadow/shadfinite shippers that were not poisoned or convinced by me, and like. a HANDFUL of insane espio enthusiasts who i love dearly
idk. i remember an ancient tumblr post about followers and it's like "oh, 100 followers online seems small but imagine 100 people in your house" and that's how i see this! i don't care about follower numbers because i honestly post and create content for myself and share it in case anyone else happens to give a crap, but the fact that there are over 100 people who actually want to see what i post and enjoy what i make is like, still mind blowing to me!!!
you all chose to be here (except @bluemarine but that's your fault for getting me back on this hellsite) and idk it means a lot?
and i feel like i don't acknowledge how much i appreciate everyone, so even if i don't follow back or interact directly or message you (i feel weird messaging y'all idk it feels unwarranted) i still appreciate every single one of you. i do!!!
obligatory sad paragraph that you can skip:
i spent most of my life thus far in isolation. i essentially didn't have friends until i started university, people at school did not want to talk to me growing up and i got bullied for it, my parents were never around, and i don't have siblings. my soul-partner is my lovely dog, who honestly saved my life because i could be home for hours or days without talking or seeing anyone and i'd at least have him, but it got lonely! and it made me feel a little unwanted, which i'm working on not feeling. i did some bad stuff for myself, and then i had to fix myself too because no one else was around or cared or even noticed. didn't help that i only recently got diagnosed with adhd and autism too (which has eased a LOT of guilt about being so bad at making friends and being wanted around) but i had to do that for myself because: no one else noticed or cared! i was being told to shut up, got talked and walked over, and then refused to open up in fear of making people hate me. some people broke that barrier down, i trusted them with this, and then when this meant i wasn't stroking their egos for once i got called selfish and was dropped! this has happened at least 12 times and it makes it REALLY hard to tell if i'm not giving enough, or giving too much at first so when i burn out, they drift since i set their expectations too high. so... i would spend my time just talk to myself or my dog because it's all i had.
(sad paragraph is over!)
idk i don't want pity for this, i just want to explain WHY i care so much about people liking my headcanons and analysis and rants and doodles, because i still think i'm annoying or talking about stuff no one likes. BUT CLEARLY SOME PEOPLE ENOY IT, AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! so i love u all ty for being here with me :") 💕
7 notes · View notes
the-horsemen-ride · 3 years
Note
any general thoughts/opinions on the kids trapped down there? (sorry if this has been asked before)
((Probably redundant Mun’s note: this is about my own headcanons for the kids and not anyone else’s. This blog runs on weird interdimensional tomfoolery or whatever so these guys can all coexist with everything else going on. Also this took a while bc I had to brainstorm a bit, hope it’s worth the wait!!!)
Isaac
Famine: Isaac’s pretty nice. He can get pretty sad and scared, I kinda feel bad for him. He also knows a LOT of things he shouldn’t know. He’s kinda funny, too, but he doesn’t realize.
Death: Honestly, it is a little sad, but hey, a job’s a job. And his trials are his own to go through, this is a prison of his own design and he has to fight for his freedom, even if these circumstances are unfair. He’s alright to be around, he has quite a vivid imagination.
War: “Kinda” funny? Kid’s a fuckin’ comedian. He doesn’t really mean to be half the time, but damn. Uh, he can be annoyin’ but whatever. That an’ we need to take ‘im down, so... it’s nothin’ personal, jus’ business, an’ there’s no harm in havin’ fun with what you do.
Pestilence: He’s a little skittish, and uh, emotional. Not a lotta con- uhm, confidence. Isaac is... I uh - I think he’s sick of us, honestly.
Conquest: Isaac has lost his way. He has to turn away from all the sinful influences in his life if he wants to get out of here in one piece.
Maggie
Famine: She’s the friendliest of the bunch. It’s almost a little concerning. Like, we’re literally trying to kill these kids and vice versa but she’s always just been super nice to us. I don’t think she’s even scared of us. Except for Conquest, for good reason.
Conquest: She’s annoying, but she’s young and instead of just roping her in her Mom is trying to kill her. It’s a damn shame... and what the hell are you trying to imply?
Famine: Dude, you’re scary. 
War: And I’m not?
Famine: Well, not to me, you aren’t.
Death: Magdalene is very sweet. The younger kids look up to her, and she thinks all the older kids are brilliant. She’s gotten upset over a lot of the things that go down in the basement, she’s still squeamish and not at all used to the violence. Some people just can’t adjust... 
War: She’s too sweet for her own good. I don’t think she realizes half the bastards down here want her dead. Which includes me an’ maybe you guys too, but hey.
Cain
War: This lil’ fucker has so much energy. An’ sticky fingers, too. He’ll nab anythin’ that’s not glued down.
Famine: He’s either really amusing or really annoying. And he’s brave, stupidly so. 
Death: Cain sure is energetic.
Conquest: And annoying.
Death: And resourceful. He’s gotten himself out of a few predicaments with quick wit and... just, whatever he has around him. You’d never think so because of how young he is, but he’s not one to be underestimated.
Pestilence: Maybe he’s just lucky. Sure seems like every- everything uh, works out for him, awfully convenient. 
Death: Doesn’t seem like that’s all there is too it, though.
Judas
War: Stuck-up prick. He’s like Death but an edgy teen - tween? Whatever.
Famine: I don’t really like him either. He’s just super nasty. Certainly never heard of looking on the bright side, either
Conquest: God, he’s unbearable. Judas is vain, rude, pretentious, prideful, smug-
Famine: Don’t those all mean sort of the same thing?
Conquest: Doesn’t matter, because that’s all that comes to mind. He’s fucking insufferable. 
Pestilence: Not even Judas likes Judas...
Eve
Death: I pity her struggles, and she has such potential that she doesn’t realize... Eve is intelligent and creative, but she spends more time destroying herself than doing something with her skills.
Famine: Yeah, and I guess we’re not making it any better.
...
War: She whines too much. But yeah, uh, shame that she’s so sad. Aren’t we supposed to be tormenting the kids? We represent atrocities an’ you’re worried about one edgelord?
Famine: That’s… a bit harsh. I mean, yeah, we don’t have to worry about being nice-
War: Eve’s pretty damn mean anyways.
Famine: But we still have basic decency, right?
War: You eat bugs off the floor, you’re below decency. Y’know, when we first got started down here, you were hellbent on makin’ these kiss’s lives a living - well, hell. What happened?
Famine: I dunno, it’s just not the same anymore. It’s all gone on for too long, it just isn’t funny or anything anymore.
Pestilence: It wouldn’t hurt if she was nicer, but it’s- it’s uh, impossible not to feel bad for her. Or uh, or any of the kids for that matter.
Samson
Famine: Sometimes he... acts before he thinks and uh- he’s a bit... intense?
Pestilence: Typical uh, “dumb” strong guy. But he’s... he’s uh... the other kids rely on him and he’s pretty clever. I guess I’m okay with him.
War: If I had to choose a least-hated, it’d be this guy. Samson’s fuckin’ brutal when he wants to be. It’s actually pretty damn fun to see the extent of it.
Conquest: He should tone it down a little.
Death: Samson is sturdy and courageous, but he is prone to overdoing it. He’s rather temperamental, too.
Lazarus
Pestilence: As I said before, he hates my guts. He’s absolutely terrified of me. And- uh- just, just germs and sickness in general.
Famine: Yeah, he really needs to calm down, he’s probably died of a few heart attacks or aneurisms from stress alone.
Death: Five heart attacks, three aneurisms, numerous other panic-related deaths. 
Pestilence: ... what’s that mean?
Death: Usually just running into harm’s way while freaking out. 
???
War: Annoying and kinda creepy. 
Famine: And that’s all, really.
The Lost
War: He’s fuckin’ pathetic, it’d be sad if it wasn’t so funny.
Death: He’s surprisingly civil for someone who undergoes torment just for existing.
Famine: Not as bad as Goth-Beth’s Lost. Just as sad, just not weirdly clingy.
Pestilence: Isn’t Lost technically Isaac?
Famine: Yeah or uh, something like that.
Conquest: There’s not much to say about him. He’s level-headed at best and a pushover at worse. No self worth, self sabotaging to an extent.
Eden
Conquest: One of the few that I can stand. They’re very well spoken for a child… Eden is a child, right?
Death: Most likely? Eden is pleasant to be around, they’re smart and polite.
War: They’re a goody-two-shoes, that’s what they are. But as least they’re not totally pathetic or an absolute jackass.
Famine: Yeah, Eden can get a bit smug sometimes, and their standards are pretty damn high. But they’re pretty damn young, so hey. They’re very calm, too. And they have a nice sense of style.
Pestilence: They almost always have a new hairstyle… sometimes they even act a bit different.
Azazel
Conquest: Fucking hate that kid.
Death: Azazel takes a bit too much enjoyment in his trickery. Maybe if his dad payed some attention to him he wouldn’t be this way.
War: He’s annoyin’, but sometimes it’s a bit fun to see how he fucks shit up for people.
Famine: Sometimes he takes his jokes a bit too far. Otherwise, he’s... he’s like any other 12-13-14 year old, you know how they get... Could be worse, though. 
Pestilence: I don’t like dealing with brimstone... or Azazel in general. But you get used to it all pretty quick.
Lilith
Conquest: Lilith nice for a demon, but she’s still very- ... well, I fear she’ll go down the wrong path. I’d say her father’s ought to raise her better, but with Dark One’s influence she’d fare even worse.
Death: At least Adversary is there to look after her. She is kindhearted and looks after the other kids, but she puts her own wellbeing aside sometimes. That, and she’s got a few risky behaviors.
Famine: I... think I’m seeing a pattern here. So many shitty parents...
War: She’s... cool I guess. I don’t like any of the kids that much but she’s one of the most tolerable, an’ I’m not jus’ sayin’ that ‘cause we’re related. Her famiilars, though...they get pretty damn annoying.
And… sometimes the way she acts is… concerning.
Pestilence: Uh, ditto. I... don’t have a lot to say.
The Keeper
War: This guy. This fucking guy. God I hate him. All he does is pickpocket an’ scam people outta their hard earned money. Even worse when Cain gets involved in his schemes.
Famine: Very charismatic, but I don’t like the competition.
Pestilence: You’re still trying to sell stuff?
Famine: Uh, how else do I get money? I think Bossman’s cutting our pay.
Apollyon
Pestilence: Apollyon’s pretty quiet.
Famine: I don’t think they’ve ever spoken to anyone at all. They’re kinda creepy.
Death: That void of theirs seems useful.
Conquest: It’s frightening. But nothing we can’t handle.
War: You of all people? Afraid of Apollyon?
Death: Well, they could be a formidable enemy in the right circumstances. Some of the combinations the kids come up with sure are something…
The Forgotten (and The Soul)
Famine: There’s a lot of dead Isaacs here and I dunno what to think about that. Uh, the Soul is pretty nice.
Death: It’s definitely interesting to see someone who prefers melee to the typical long ranged attacks... Their teamwork is commendable as well.
Pestilence: The skelly dude’s kind of a, erm, blank slate.
Famine: Eh, he’s got a bit of an attitude.
War: The whole. Thing they’ve got goin’ on is cool but the ghost is just weird.
Conquest: How many more Isaacs are there?
Bethany
Death: She’s very studious… and judgmental. Thirteen year olds are the worst, honestly.
Conquest: She thinks she knows it all. But she’s one of the few trying to stay on the path of virtue, so at least that’s commendable.
Famine: And at least Goth-Beth’s kinda funny. Ours has no sense of humor...
War: Pretty ballsy of her to jump down here. But yeah, she’s prissy an’ fussy an’... ugh.
Jacob and Esau
Conquest: I... don’t know what curse has afflicted Esau with... whatever is going on with him but... he’s... alright, despite it all. He keeps to himself, Jacob speaks for both of them, usually. Somehow, they’re less annoying than the others even though they’re a two for one deal.
Famine: Jacob’s nice! But he’s a very... basic guy. There’s just, like, nothing to say about him. Esau? He’s... shy. Wouldn’t hurt if he was a bit more confident.
War: Okay, I’m going to be honest, I don’t pay attention to these fuckers. I don’t give a shit about them. Uh, Esau an’ Punchin’ Bag are alright.
Pestilence: Don’t you mean Jacob and Punching Bag?
War: Nah.
Death: They’re fairly new, same goes for Bethany. I have not seen them around as much, but they’re tolerable and... down to earth, I suppose, at least when compared to the other kids.
8 notes · View notes