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bestworstcase · 2 months

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re: talk of Burn, do you have any idea why Yang's aura clearly broke when Neo struck her in V8 (right after activating Burn)? my theory is that perhaps activating her semblance does something like Tock's where it makes her aura manifest more solidly on her body (which is how it can make her hair light on fire) and therefore also, like Tock, means that her aura is more vulnerable. to me this would also explain why Yang would use it as a finisher at first; using it when she's already going to run out of aura makes it, in a sense, less dangerous because she's already gotten most of the other uses out of her aura that she can get.

would love to know if you think this is accurate, or what you actually think is going on with yang's semblance on a mechanical level (if you're interested in that anyway)

first, a general point about aura and aura breaking. the characters’ use of meters has led to a sort of popular fanon that aura works like hit points in a video game, where you have this many and taking damage reduces your HP by a certain number until you hit zero and then your aura breaks; (dark souls splash screen voice) YOU DIED.

i do not think it works that way.

from world of remnant:

aura is a manifestation of the soul, a life force that runs through every living creature on remnant—whether they are a meager shopkeep or a renowned knight. however, what sets true warriors apart from all others is their ability to amplify and control their aura.

aura is the power of one’s soul. it’s guided by emotion, self-knowledge, and spirituality. in its purest form, it becomes a semblance.

defensive aura is not a passive effect. we know this for a fact. in V5, oscar finds it physically exhausting to engage his aura in this way and ren tells him that’s normal—it requires intense concentration at first, then becomes second nature with practice. in V7, jaune’s aura-training demonstrates that recovery, regaining aura once it has been depleted, is a conscious action that can be improved through practice. this is because the “aura level” tracked by those meters is not a measurement of how much aura you have in the tank, as it were, but something like the density of the aura-field you’re pushing outward, or speed of flow, or something along those lines.

(the way i’m handling it in TDT is there’s a hard upper bound to how much aura you can hold in your skin, like a sponge not being able to absorb more water, and what auraleric gauges attempt to measure is % of maximum saturation because everyone’s aura will break around 5-10% saturation even though the amount of aura you have at 100% varies. anything you push out above that threshold is projected as transient bursts of energy and that’s where you start getting into offensive techniques.)

hazel’s phenomenal endurance is noted to derive from his rapid recovery, not the basal amount of aura he has. (he even just shrugs off being impaled.) i believe his semblance gives him an edge here, because it requires concentration to amplify one’s aura and hazel can’t be distracted by physical pain.

which brings me to aura-breaking. it doesn’t happen when the proverbial tank is empty. auras break when you can’t sustain the mental effort of generating enough aura; this might happen because the well you’re drawing from really has run dry (<- think this is what happened to nora with the high voltage door), but it might also be because you’re too tired, or you took a really painful or unexpected hit that shattered your focus, because you’re panicking or furious.

i think tock’s semblance is in the same ‘family’ as hazel’s and ironwood’s in that it puts her into a state of intense focus by blocking out anything that might shake her—with hers being far, far more potent than theirs but so potent she can’t maintain it for longer than sixty seconds, and possibly needs the ticking clock to ‘anchor’ her focus.

(fic stuff again, because tock’s alive in TDT for butterfly wing flaps reasons: sixty seconds is not a hard limit of her semblance; she can and on one occasion did go for much longer. to project an aura field you draw aura out of your reserve, which is the aura that naturally ‘pools’ around your soul; if that runs dry and you’re desperate enough, pushing hard enough, you can wring more aura out of your soul. blood from a stone. it hurts a lot, it will mess you up, and it can do permanent damage similar to what the aura transfer machines do to pietro. sixty seconds is how long it takes for tock’s semblance to drain her aura reserve, rounded down to allow for a margin of error.)

so. yang.

i think, mechanically, when the average person with aura training gets hit, their aura burns up to disperse most of that energy. (<- when they’re swatting gunfire away, the bullets bounce; the energy is reflected.)

but yang’s semblance absorbs energy—which is to say, if you had a ball throwing machine shoot a tennis ball at yang and someone else with equivalent training from the same distance, it would hit yang harder because her aura is less reflective; more of the ball’s kinetic energy flows into her body. then, like a battery, her aura converts that energy into some other form that can be stored.

sort of like dust, in fact. dust has a lot of potential energy, which is released when the material reacts with aura. given the literally explosive firepower yang gains from burn, i think that she’s storing this absorbed energy in the same form as occurs naturally in dust, which would put burn in the same ‘family’ as coco’s hype or arrastra’s equilibrium…

…and would also mean that this statement:

some prefer to use dust in its raw form: elegant, yet destructive. those who choose to wield dust in this state must possess a certain level of discipline to ensure that their resulting powers do not break free of their control.

is true of burn, too. and that tracks with who yang is and how she uses her semblance—even in V1-3, yang takes a more head-on approach to fights and tends to soak up more damage before exploding bigger vs her increasingly nimble and even acrobatic style post-beacon, but her control over those massive volcanic eruptions is immaculate.

the way burn works in general requires that yang be very, very in control of her aura at all times because she needs to balance between absorbing energy to charge up her semblance while reflecting enough to prevent injury, and this is one reason why i think yang is probably the best out of the cast when it comes to using aura. ren might have her beat on the more spiritual, extra-sensory perception side of things, but yang has to keep her focus while getting hit harder than anyone else Because Physics.

and that brings us to neo one-shotting yang’s aura. here is what happens: cinder is gloating from atop a pillar of fire while people scream and run in a panic all around them, and out of the corner of her eye, yang sees a glint of steel and realizes that neo is about to stab her unsuspecting baby sister in the back, she’s too far away, she can’t get there fast enough—burn is, in that moment, a reflex. instinct. she panics and hurls herself in between neo and ruby without even thinking about it because the only thing in her mind is GET TO RUBY NOW.

and that’s why her aura just shatters. it requires concentration—you practice until it becomes instinctive, until you don’t need to think about it, muscle memory. but it still takes focus. intention. yang has incredible self-control and thus incredible control of her aura, but everyone has limits, and hers are “holy fuck that guy stabbed blake” and “neo is going to kill ruby go go go.”

her semblance in itself doesn’t make her defense any weaker—but when she’s terrified enough for burn to activate reflexively like this, her aura will break if she gets hit because she’s freaking out.

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adorastarot · 8 months

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Can you do please 😇... jimin path towards his fs? Thank you

Hi sweetheart! How are you? Thank you so much for sending this ask! As soon as I saw it, I just HAD to do it! I am hoping to do one for all the members - what do we think?

♡ This reading will have a follow-up reading for Ko-fi monthly members [view here] - More details on Jimin's Path towards his fs

Jimin’s Path to his fs

Strength, ace of cups, the moon

Jimin is also on the right path to his fs, the strength card is a beautiful card to have here because I do genuinely associate Jimin with this card. Jimin needs to continue to work on mastering his inner and raw emotions. Figuring out how he feels deep down about different situations and figuring out if that’s the right way to go about life or if he needs to adjust his thinking and understanding. There is a note of self-mastery here and the thing that Jimin needs to master is really himself which he has been doing over the past few years. This journey started a very long time ago. I feel like Jimin needs to continue to explore creative paths and listen to his intuition. If there was a piece of advice I would give Jimin is to be more open to new opportunities and to not put some much pressure on the outcome of these opportunities - if he wants to do something he should just go for it and give it a go. The whole path may not be illuminated but it doesn’t need to be. This will be important because when Jimin finally meets his fs, there may be a lot of uncertainty but he will need to just take the chance. He should continue to be grateful for the things that he has as he always has and also work on his spiritual energy a bit more. There; 's still a long road to go for Jimin though. The moon is not a quick card, and there may be some illusions, and confusion before arriving at the destination.

Fs’ path to Jimin

Chariot in reverse, 8 of cups, 4 of swords

There is a lot of struggle in the fs’ path towards Jimin. There is an absence of direction within this person’s energy but also a need to run away and get out there. They want to go somewhere but they don’t know how to get to where they want to go. This person is being called to focus on self-discipline right now. They are spending too much energy on things that don’t matter in the long term and they are getting distracted because they are uncomfortable. Jimin’s fs is being called to get out of their comfort zone. They need to let go and walk away from things that don’t serve them right now, this could be a relationship (if they’re dating), a job, or even a friendship that is holding them back. They don’t know if they should keep trying and risk losing themselves or call it quits and give up. The cards are saying that right now they should take some to themselves before making a decision whilst frustrated. It’s time for this person to recharge - by themselves! The best thing that this person can do right now is pause, take a breath and just accept the present, feel the present.

Energy of the path towards the connection?

8 of pentacles, 6 of wands, 4 of swords

The message here is again, very clear. This connection still needs to be worked on, these two people still need to do a lot of work before they can be together. They will be successful though if they start this work separately. It could even be that the universe/God/whatever you believe in, will put people in their paths so that they can both do the inner work required for this connection to succeed. But just because the people show up to help, does not mean that Jimin and the fs don’t need to do anything - they still need to allow this help in otherwise it’ll be futile. Take it slow, learn to understand yourself let your lights shine. Your connection is here and it’s fine - it will take as long as you both need it to take until you can meet up. Do the work!

All the love

#bts tarot #kpop tarot #bts tarot readings #bts fs #bts ask #bangtan tarot #Jimin tarot #jimin fs #BTS FS #tarotreading

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cypressmoons · 1 year

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afterthought (genshin men)

trying something different with this one :> not assigning the mmc to any character, so feel free to imagine whoever you want! let me know what you think of this format :)

word count: 1k

masterlist ♡ inbox

you’re so attracted to him it physically hurts.

there are definitely better things to do with your time, with your energy, and you know it. yet every moment you’re awake and every thought after you fall asleep, your head is filled with nothing but him.

it’s funny, really, how much he consumed your entire being.

you feel so stupid, letting the presence of a man (or a lack thereof) dictate your emotions for the day. leaving your apartment feels even more of an insurmountable task now that you know the chances of you running into him is low, but never zero. after two straight days of practically summoning him out of thin air in places you least expected to see him at, you have made it your life’s mission to look your best whenever you go outside, even if it requires sacrificing 40 minutes of sleep to perfect your eyeliner.

sometimes you question your sanity and how close you are to losing your mind completely.

surely it’s not normal for your heart rate to spike every time you see a little green dot indicating his online presence in the messages app, right? or to consciously look for him every time you walk through the campus, to pin his little box during zoom calls, or check his instagram profile so much that the algorithm has started to put his name on the forefront of your list whenever he posts a story? you honestly think you might have an illness. on some days it physically makes you sick, the emotions too strong and overwhelming for your body to take.

as time passes, your infatuation with him slowly turns into resentment. don’t get it wrong – you’re still more attracted to him than you’ve ever been with any other man, but the utter impossibility of it all is making it extremely frustrating for you. it’s not even just the fact that you’re too scared to ask him out. it’s everything he does, he says, the way he probably knows the effect he has on you and is enjoying it immensely.

men are simple creatures, and you haven’t exactly done a fantastic job at hiding your subtle reactions to his every move.

and nothing gets on your nerves more than knowing you’ve given him exactly what he wants.

of course, all this resentment can probably just be dismissed as your brain working overtime yet again to put more meaning into the most meaningless scenarios. you wish you could think this hard and critically about all the academic articles you’re supposed to read. men are simple creatures, yes, and he probably doesn’t even mean to do any of this to you, all his supposed teasing behaviour a mere reflection of his already inflated ego.

you’re tired. and no matter what you do, you cannot accept anything less than perfect from your grades this semester, if you want a chance at going to grad school at all. which is exactly why you’re landed in this all-too-small gap between a rock and a hard place. you’re sure you would’ve gotten down on your knees to beg your brain to stop, had it been physically possible to do so. you’ve tried everything: packing your schedule to the brim, overworking yourself to the point of near exhaustion, trying to think of things that give you the ick about him, or even downing more drinks than usual, alone and sad in your little box of an apartment.

you want to laugh at yourself. come on, you’re not the main character of a romcom, no laugh track is going to play and no audience is going to sympathize with you. when your professor called the great depression a “self-induced downward spiral”, you felt like that term is a more accurate depiction of your life than a massive economic crisis.

and it’s funny, because you don’t even know what you want out of this endless pining. whereas in past crushes you were always successful in imaging you and him, happy in a relationship and doing all sorts of corny couple shit in your nightly scenario factory before you fall asleep, you can’t seem to picture you with him. sure, you wanted to touch him and feel him and probably get railed by him sometimes, all you feel is cringe when you try to picture the same fluffy domestic activities you’re all too familiar with.

you don’t even know if you want to date him, really. perhaps it comes from your own place of insecurity, from having never been the object of someone else’s desires and always an afterthought in others’ minds. you see the tiktoks of girls crying about being a “late bloomer”, and the swarm of comments from people feeling the same or empty words of comfort. something along the lines of “you just haven’t met the right person yet!” or “honestly good for you men are trash anyway”.

sure, the statements might have an ounce of truth in them, but don’t they know just how much it hurts to never be at the forefront of someone’s thoughts? for your name to only be uttered in sentences like “…oh and there’s Y/N”, only as a sudden reminder that you existed when everyone else has already had their share of fun and entertainment. you’ve retreated, hidden yourself from the judgmental eyes of others, a learned response to protect yourself. but now it seems you’ve just dug a hole for yourself to crawl into.

maybe that’s why you can’t imagine yourself with him. he’s so cool, so smart, and so goddamn good looking that you know it’s only a matter of time before someone better comes along and he, like everyone before him, will fall for them instead.

but oh, how much you longed to be the one for someone.

even as you’re saying to yourself, “i’m breaking up with him”, in the mirror like you’ve actually been in a relationship with him, you can’t help but feel a little empty inside. like having to donate your favourite childhood toy. you frantically open up a blank document and your fingers work fast across the keyboard, trying to capture as many details from your “relationship” as you possibly could before they all fade from your memory. what are you doing this for? you do not know. all you know is that you’ve invested so much energy and so many brain cells on him, you can’t let everything go down the drain so easily. is it just a pathetic way to console yourself and continue being in denial? probably. but, what else is there for you to do?

it's not like you can just go up to him and ask him out. what a hilarious thought.

because look, as much as you’ve imagined better and cheesier scenarios, the fact remains you’re nothing but an afterthought to him.

#moon's writings 🔖#genshin impact #genshin x reader #al haitham #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #kaeya #kaeya x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #kamisato ayato #kamisato ayato x reader #genshin men #genshin men x reader

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orchidrene · 2 years

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Who is thinking about you + why?

Giveaway + self promotion: First of all, I wish to thank the ones who bought readings from me and also the others who are leaving feedback to support me and keep me motivated. Please check out my paid services as they're really cheap :) dm me for custom paid readings (it doesn't have to be in the list) or if you wish to leave me a tip (helps your girl stay motivated.) Two people who buy packages will be randomly chosen to get a single topic free reading of your choice :) PayPal isn't functioning right now for me :')

How to enter the giveaway?

1. Purchase one of the packages from my paid services. 2. Reblog this post. 3. Wait until the results are announced :)

Giveaway results will be announced on the 1st of June.

You can enter the giveaway until 31st May.

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Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile 3 Pile 4

Pile 1

"Only" by Lee Hi started playing as soon as I shuffled for y'all :') "Be my only one, I don't have to hide my feelings anymore, the words I sincerely wanted to say, I say, 'I love you,' ooh-ooh, on tiring nights and busy days, please make room in your heart for me to rest (Oh, oh-oh), I'll do better when you share your love with me." Damn, romantic feelings for sure. Let's look at who the person is. A person who might have some authority, someone who's fairly judgemental and makes fair decisions and doesn't partake in favoritism. Might be a leader of some sort. "Dandelions" by Ruth B is playing. I feel like you don't really think about dating this person or anything. They might be a very daddy (might be a non creepy sugar daddy too.) A fatherly, teacher like person for sure. A mentor of some sort. They're mentally very strong. They might be the type to lead by example rather than force. A very good leader for real. I'm getting two specific scenarios here, so for scenario number one, they might have been in a bad emotional state or everyone might have been blaming them for stuff/might have turned their backs against them but you made them feel like you believed in them and stuck for them and for scenario number two you might have/might be a bit underestimated and your talent/effort isn't recognized enough but they can see how great you are at whatever you're doing/how much effort you're putting in (or you might have been the one getting blamed for something) which makes them appreciate you because you seem to be trying hard despite any useless criticism. Daydreaming about you gives them hope which assists them through their hard times. It's like you're their star, bright and pretty. You might motivate them to pursue their ambitions and dream more, you might be the type to be like "anything can happen, he hopeful." Kind of person which helps them be more driven too. You make them feel like a pure kind of love, major first love energy here. I feel like you bring a sense of emotional security and hope to them because of your abundant hope, you might be the type to hype your loved ones. "Paper hearts" by Tori Kelly is playing right now, damn feelings do be running deep. You might encourage them to take time to themselves when needed. I'm hearing someone saying "you can use this time to work on yourself and take better care of your mental health." You're probably someone who comes off self sufficient in some sense. "Just because the sun is covered by the clouds doesn't mean that it isn't there." You might have made them see a light within themselves and made them realize that they don't always need to stand out/ you might have made them realize that just because they can't feel/see results or healing doesn't mean that they aren't there. I'm getting cardinal energy (cancer, libra, aries, capricorn) from you, you might be the type to never give up and might be a bit impulsive too. You're a very charismatic person according to them. They're definitely a very fair person. The reason they are thinking about you is because you're very attractive and they like you ofcourse. They might be a very self critical person, it might be you as well though. They might be the type to not go beyond their comfort zone so you're helping them open up to things and ideas. I'm not sure but I'm sensing them being left heartbroken in the end. You might be someone who's dealt with heartbreak before which gives you a certain kind of depth, which just makes you more attractive.

Pile 2

"Eight letters" by Why don't we played when I shuffled for you. Probably a person from the past who broke your heart or lead you on just to ghost you. This person is someone with a lot of internal as well as external control. A very determined person. This person is definitely someone people tend to double take, they seem to be very charming in an unreachable manner too but they seem to be seen as someone humble even though they're a bit unreachable. This is someone who feels like things with you aren't moving forward with you, they seem to have learnt some lessons through you though you seem to be the one left behind. They're probably someone who made you feel really special and loved, they're the type to treat the people they like differently. They're probably going through a transformation and have already changed a lot. Doesn't seem to be a very recent situation actually, they might have hurt you years ago. They are putting aside their ego to fix what they've sabotaged with you. It seems like before they didn't even try to be honest with their emotions for you. They might have blind faith that you'll text them first asking to take you back after years of them doing you wrong even though they're at fault. They might be in really in their head about you. They might be really holding back from texting you first in case you've moved on and they'll just be ruining your life again. They feel like they don't deserve such a pure form of love. I can feel the mixed emotions that they feel regarding you. They're probably just trying to keep their emotions to themselves but they do really miss you. 12th house or 8th house synastry might be very significant here. You might have very "the one that got away" kind of feelings towards each other, especially you since this probably ended very abruptly and without a proper closure. You might have Neptune in each others' houses (I'm getting specifically 4th house.) They might have started dating someone else as soon as they broke up with you, might have been an ex which made you be like "did they just date me to get over their ex?" A lot of miscommunication, things left unsaid and illusions here. Right now, I feel like you've glown up a lot physically, emotionally and mentally. You might be seen as someone very attractive not just romantically but even as a person which makes them regret things harder than they already do. I'm getting you being very unstable and immature but pure and naive back then, now you seem to be more stable and mature but also less naive and more practical but they think that you still haven't lost how pure your intentions towards others are which has them shook and really intrigued. They see you as 'the high priestess' you're mysterious, extremely loving, balanced and intuitive. They can sense how much you love yourself now and how hard you've worked on yourself. They feel like they let outside forces affect and end your relationship which leaves them feeling really regretful. You seem to have gotten stronger and see that you have changed a lot, you don't let others' opinions hurt you or affect your relationship with yourself or change your decisions anymore. You were the only person who actually loved them even though they hurt you a lot which keeps them crying at night, you're not together and it's because of them. "If the world was ending" energy :'). It seems to be a long period and they aren't exactly sure if it's okay to enter your life now, not only because of their ego or pride but also because of how they might end up negatively affecting your life because you seem to have finally healed. Why do I feel like you literally begged this person to stay b with you at some point? 💀 You might have an unhealthy attachment with them. "Before you go" by Lewis Capaldi might have messages for you from them.

Pile 3

They might be a virgo, they seem to have really contemplated stuff with you. They're a perfectionist for real. A pretty hard worker. Someone with strong willpower. You might have cancer placements. You taught them about how to control ego. I'm getting an ex friend for some of you. They might actually be jealous of you 💀. You might have left your ex friends and chose loneliness over toxicity because you felt left out and even bullied, they might have accused you of stuff that you never did but after letting go of them, you look better, you look happier, you seem to have more money and overall better in some way. You might've attracted something that they wanted, might be someone too actually. If this friend situation doesn't relate with you, it's someone you expressed your affection for (probably still are), they're starting to like you. They might smile while thinking about how much you care about them, they feel really loved and appreciated by you. A very soft person, they seem to be trying to avoid falling in love with anyone at all though. "Dream-like person, can't you see how much you mean to me?" That's exactly how they feel towards you. Back to the ex friend scenario, they are reminiscing over you guys' friendship, they're feeling very nostalgic. If it is the person you're expressing affection to, they are probably just feeling really soft and loved by you. They're feeling very child-like. You are definitely coming off as 'the empress' to both your ex friend/affection person, very in-tune with everything. There is a great desire and need for action (by affection person) but they are a bit guarded which causes them to not take any action or give you mixed signals. I feel like you should give them some time though, they'll probably melt and choose to be open to love. The affection person can see your efforts and hard work in whatever you try to do and also in trying to make them feel loved. The ex friend person feels really burdened by the memories and also how unaffected you seem by whatever happened between the both of you. "Still into you" - Paramore might have messages (affection person.) I feel like the affection person might be trying to deny their feelings for whatever reason and distract themselves from you. They might be trying to desperately pick out flaws in you because they can feel themselves losing control over their emotions because of you. I feel like you might be treating them really well and they're just there like "ahahaha such a great prank." 💀 You might literally be giving away "I'll love you unconditionally" energy to this person.

Pile 4

This person thinking about you seems to be more of a solo person. They might be the type to either do everything or not do anything at all when involved in a group project. They might be contemplating and healing right now. I felt the urge to listen to 'enchanted' by Taylor Swift. I feel like this person doesn't know where they stand with you causing them to plan their future moves towards you based on assumptions. They're someone decisive and wise. They might have friends or family that do not show enough support or even any feelings at all 💀. They might be a Capricorn moon. I feel like they're the kind of person who's willing to give away their happiness just to be useful to their loved ones. You both are probably not communicating right now. "Are we flirting or fighting right now? Cause I'm getting mixed signals." That's how they felt in the past before you guys had a separation. They are really doubting everything like what if you have already moved on and they are just interfering in your life? This person surely does know how to channel their negative emotions into work. You both seemed to not know what to say when someone asks you why you fell apart because both of you don't understand what happened either. "I want it, I got it." I feel like you are in this energy right now or atleast come off that way. This person probably really wants to receive and provide you with a closure. They intuitively know that you are kind of done with them. This person sees you as their muse, if they're a musician/even just listen to music a lot, they fantasize about writing songs about you in the future and stuff. Right now I feel like their emotions are making their thoughts really unclear. I feel like it's karma, this person might have hurt you a lot and you were in the energy of 'so many emotions, I've gone numb now, I can't even comprehend what it is that I feel,' they're just feeling the same way too right now. I feel like it might've been quite a lot of time, they took a lot of time to process their emotions while you couldn't even process them properly but you managed to heal and grow through them. They're slowly losing their senses because they miss you. They're uselessly worried about you when things from your side definitely seem to be over even though you might miss them. They're reminiscing a lot. This person might show symptoms of imposter syndrome but you made them feel like they were actually being themselves with you which makes things harder for them because they aren't being to able to move on. I feel like you guys might have a connection in which once you start moving on they show up in your dream and vice versa or you see something that reminds you of them and vice versa. They might be spending too much time with themselves. They don't even feel worthy enough of themselves right now, they don't take care of themselves very well because they regret past decisions, I'm not going to tap into what happened but well... It seems heavy. You might've grown a lot and changed to a whole different level, you might come off really confident and seem to be doing really well which makes them happy but sad at the same time. This person might wear beanies, leather jackets, jewellery or oversized white t-shirts.

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nokingsonlyfooles · 1 year

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Be Panda, Do Soft-Style

You know this guy?

I love this guy. Eh catches cannon balls and doesn't afraid of anything (it's an older meme, sir, but it checks out), except PTSD and low self-esteem. That's my Panda.

OK. So let's talk about negative emotions, pain, and crippling anxiety.

No! Ha-ha, well, okay, maybe a little.

Some of us like movies and TV because their sameness is comforting, they teach us valuable lessons, and they don't judge us if we have to go back and watch something again because we didn't understand - or just 'cos we like seeing it again, and we're having a parasocial relationship with everyone in it. And some of us need movies and TV for those same reasons. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less, but real-life people aren't going to be patient enough to help us learn the hard stuff, and we know that, so we stick with movies and TV. Society tends to label people like that, people like me, as autistic. Not always, but it's getting better at catching and labelling the behaviour.

So when I need help with a big concept, something super hard, I go running to movies, TV, and stories or metaphors of all kinds. That's the easiest way for me to learn and understand, but most of us like learning that way. At least a little.

So, let's talk about my Panda pal's kung fu.

Po fights dragon style, which is a soft style. Soft styles are more about seeing where the energy is coming from and redirecting it. Tigress, who is hard-style to her core, will punch a brick wall until she busts right through it. Po will just go, "Hey, there's a door! You guys? Door over here!" walk through, and maybe poke his head back out and ask, "You need anything while I'm in here? Okay. Cool." Soft style requires you to slow down enough, and be smart and patient enough, to find that door.

All kung fu is valid!

(I love you, Tigress! You can punch me anytime!)

But not all kung fu is appropriate for every situation. You punch through a cannonball, it explodes, and you get very badly injured or die.

I see a lot of stuff on Tumblr about people trying to punch through their pain, anxiety, and negative feelings. I don't like you, anxiety. I don't like you, depression. I don't need you. You're not real. You're a little bitch. I will defeat you. I will get better and better at defeating you, and you will go away FOREVER! DIEEEE!

It's my first instinct too! I don't want these things, they are hurting me, I want them to go away. If I were strong, I could just break through. Normal people break through these things like they're nothing (*bing!* I've just added another layer of wall, "I'm broken, I'm weak," to what I've already been failing to punch through). If I just keep pushing (adding more layers to the wall every time my punch fails to defeat it) I will get stronger, and better, and I will feel nothing!

"Is that what you want?" Oogway might say to Shifu, his student who insists on learning (and teaching) everything the hard way. "To feel nothing? That sounds rather sad to me."

"No! I want to get rid of these bad feelings so I can make good ones! I want to feel happy, and loved, and secure! I want self-confidence!"

"My poor friend is still holding a peach," the turtle might say, "and trying to force it to become an apple. And then, when he has done the impossible, he thinks he may deserve self-confidence."

"I can throw this peach at the wall, and destroy it, and go find an apple!"

The turtle laughs. "Then you will have made quite a mess! And when you return with your apple, you may find the peach pit you have abandoned has grown into another tree, with many more peaches for you to throw. But perhaps there is a better way." And he would pick a peach, and eat it, like turtles do, slowly, but without mercy, until it's all gone, even the pit, and walk away. "It was not bad, a little bitter. I think next, I will eat a dumpling."

My boi can catch a cannonball because he doesn't go after it hard-style. He takes it head-on, holds it in his furry little arms, and redirects it. He's not super great at getting it where he wants it to go, not at first, and it does set him on fire, but he's still alive!

"You know, this doesn't feel great, but dealing with your trauma and post-traumatic stress is a process! My fist hungers... for self-care! Ow!"

He does, eventually, get better at it (quickly, because we only have about 90 minutes to tell this story) and not every hit lands, but when one does, he holds it for a second, aims, and lets go. He does not punch, he does not try to stop that sucker cold, he holds it, deals with it, and lets it go. And once he figures out what he's doing, it doesn't hurt so bad anymore. He has fun. Po's not the Fun Police, if he's having fun, he accepts that too. Yep, okay, this could kill me, but it looks so cool! Let's have fun while it lasts! Ladies, gentlemen and others, I present: soft style.

Even if your brain behaves itself perfectly, in your life, you are gonna hit walls. Some of 'em won't slow you down. But when one does, the first thing you gotta do is acknowledge the fact that there is a WALL here. I know you don't want the wall, but there it is. It doesn't matter whether it belongs there, you don't have to justify it. Insulting it and interrogating it won't make it not be there. That irritating AOL voice yelling "You've got wall!" will not go away until you acknowledge receipt of your wall. Okay. I've got wall. I don't have to like it, but here it is. It is here.

(This is what they mean when they say "your emotions are valid," they're just insecure and trying to sound professional.)

Now what?

(OK, but assuming we don't have a flame-proof cartoon butt and a destiny.)

First: Don't punch the wall. Ah-ah-ah! Back up! How hard could it be to not do something? you think. This'll be easy! It's incredibly hard to comply with a negative. Don't read this. Yeah. Now don't think of a solid white zebra. ... ... ... Yeah. Ka-POW! Ouch! Why does that hurt? I'd better punch it again and figure it out!

Stop. Redirect. Since we're using a wall metaphor here, you gotta go sideways. (Indeed, given enough time, all things shall become crab.) If there were a door right in front of your face, you'd see it. Forwards is not an option right now. Be a good little crustacean and pick a new direction. This is also how one extricates one's self from a riptide - people die because it's counterintuitive. You want to be back on the beach, why would you swim towards more ocean? Attacking the obstacle at its strongest point will not get you where you wanna go any faster than looking for a way around. In fact, sometimes, it won't get you there at all.

Are you still, intermittently, thinking of a solid white zebra? Like, what would that even look like? How would I know it's not just a white horse? Well, if you weren't before you are now. OK. So every time that zebra comes back, think of a solid white peacock with a tragic backstory.

(I know he's not solid white, I'm just being silly. Forgive me.)

If you take a step towards the sexy (but still extremely evil and genocidal) peacock, you are moving sideways. If you keep it up, you'll get a little distance, a little perspective, and when you have enough room to stop banging your head like a stubborn moth, maybe you'll be able to see a door in the wall... Or some convenient fireworks, who knows? Maybe you do have a destiny. Then, you'll be able to go through.

...Though it may be a squeeze, and you might not end up exactly where you thought you wanted to go.

(Oh, no, stairs!)

Or maybe you'll end up someplace even better and more surprising.

"You just wanted to see the tournament? Well, now you're the Dragon Warrior. Have fun with that."

But, again, this is a skill that takes practice. Every time you manage to stop or head sideways instead of banging into the wall is a victory. Eventually, you will get better at it.

I mean, you know, I've heard.

(This is me. I wanna be Po, but it's just my nature to fight hard and make everything harder. Maybe one of these days I'll accept that, and stop fighting my nature and making it harder, but I wouldn't bet on it.)

Doctors and mental health professionals will tell you, most pain is anxiety. Part of that is the simple physical fact that when you tense up and struggle, it hurts more. Some things can be fought hard style, and some things can't. Slow down, take your time, feel the flow - and then you can decide whether to go with it, go against it, or go around.

For example, I was having serious anxiety because, right when I got up, a lot of things were going wrong, and needed attention, and I couldn't fix them all, or even one. So I let someone I trust give me a little help, and I wrote a little mental health article with my friend, the Panda. Maybe I'll find a way to go forward in a little while, or maybe not yet, but I already feel a little better.

(Even this guy smiles once in a blue moon.)

Thanks to the Kung Fu Panda Wiki for hosting most of the images I needed. And if you "like" this content, reblog it 'cos I'm trying to get known around here. That goes for just about everyone else, too.

#mental health #kung fu panda #po #shifu #oogway #tigress #soft style #emotions #your emotions are valid #and now you know why autistic people relate better to media than real life #i didn't catch that could you play it again?

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babybearcookie · 2 years

Text

Stray Kids Age Regression/Caregiver HC

this was requested

this is an age regression headcanon; if you don't like that, don't read it. age regression is a sfw coping mechanism, so i will be blocking anyone who might sexualize it

Chan

as a caregiver

first of all,,

chan is probably one of the most patient caregivers you'd ever have

if not THE MOST patient

he never wants to hurry you or push you further than what you need and are comfortable with

he'll help you of course

but with things like figuring out your emotions

or maybe smaller things like wanting to pick a snack to have

or building or colouring something

those things he'd never hurry along

time is precious in his eyes, and so is giving you space to figure things out on your own

and THEN if you ask for help, he'll come and help

or if you're in a situation that he can feel you wanting to step away from

then he's there too, showing that you can always rely on him when you want to

he's also the type take pics of you on his phone every time you do something cute

you're playing with a kitchen set he bought you?

*click*

you're into something playing on the tv?

*click*

you're pouting while sleeping?

*click*

and if you're okay with it, he'll want to show his friends the pictures

boasting about "look how cute my baby is"

the two of you also take walks in the park

he loves the times where you'd find a little bug or creature or just nature that you're intrigued by

he'll sit down on the ground, pull you into his lap and tell you about the thing, rly dad-like

maybe even pick it up if you're hesitant to, showing you that there's nothing to be scared of

when regressed

when regressed, chan has a lot of trouble articulating

which is why his words comes out slurred when he's speaking

he'll most likely mix english words into his korean sentences

unless he can talk only in english

and then there might be korean words mixed into his sentences there as well

he's most likely to regress when he's sleepy, head already fuzzy

he's mostly pretty quiet when he's small

unless he has a lot of energy heheh

he likes sitting back and look at people being silly

always with a biiiig smile and clapping while laughing

but even though he's a calm soul, he loveslovesloves play fighting!!!

when he has to climb over someone to get something or try to grab it from their hand as they're keeping it from him

idk,, he loves doing that, he finds it so much fun!!

if it goes on for long enough and he starts to get frustrated he might,,,

stomp his tiny foot and cross his arms, exaggerated pout on his lips :(((

he also just likes playing pretend

sometimes he's someone from a movie (most likely a superhero)

but sometimes he'll just be anything that he can think of

a dog, a bull, maybe even a dragon

he's been a bull a few times, loving the reactions he gets when he runs head-first into someone's legs hehh

also,, if he's going somewhere with someone

holding hands is a requirement!!

he will not go if one of his hands aren't being held

if you want a happy cutie chan, feed him

he'll most likely show you his adorable lil happy dance

wiggling his body

beware though, because he has a habit of playing with his food

so,, either contain him to an area where he can't do much damage or,,, be ready to clean up after him

Minho

as a caregiver

i already wrote how i think he'd be like as a cg here

but i'll expand a bit more on some ideas ^^

being homeschooled by cg minho>>>>>>

tiny words of encouragement

you're working on a korean language book for kids

tracing over the characters in the book

spelling out some animals and simple words

like 안녕하세요 and 감사합니다

he sits behind you and runs his hand over your hair while he watches as you fill out the pages

so! much!! praise!!!

he'd probably smile and fluff your hair when you look to him to see if an answer you wrote down was correct

maybe even kiss your temple when you are working

just because you look SO CUTE while being concentrated

after you're finished and he has checked your worksheet for mistakes he says that it's time to go to the playground

as soon as he says the word 'playground' you're up and running after your jacket and shoes

you're always so excited to go to the playground

there's mostly empty when you go

minho somehow always knowing when there'll be no kids

so you get to go on the swings and the slide without having to wait, and there's no parents looking at you weird

you even get to play in the sandbox with minho :D

when regressed

he absolutely LOVES being called baby

his favourite thing to be called ever!!

better if it's in korean

"minho aegi~~"

gone is minho, melted away

right under 'being called baby' on his list of what he loves most in the world is being cuddled

every chance he gets, he WILL cuddle someone

he will pull you to him and lock around you, koala style

he loooves when he's the one being the little spoon

held so dearly

warmth all around him

then he really feels cared for

like nothing in this world can hurt him

small and soft and just tiny

he comes with small sound effects

barely audible but they're there

he mostly doesn't mean to let out the small sounds, it's just something he does when he's doing something while small

loves when you play with his hair,,

like make tiny ponytails or pigtails

he looks adorable and he knows it!!

will poke you at random

he just loves the weird look he gets when he pokes you and doesn't say anything

will be like :o or laugh at most things

very curious baby

will giggle randomly after saying something

you have no idea why he does this, but it's pretty cute hearing it

Changbin

as a caregiver

i think he's not very outspoken about the care he shows as a caregiver

he'd rather be silent about any good deeds

like he'd do something for you without you realizing it and he'll just sit back and watch everything go smoothly with a smile

but with other caregivers he might share his concerns

he always thinks he can be a better caregiver, even if he's trying his best

he'd be the type to carry you in from the car if you've fallen asleep instead of waking you up

that's the best way to describe it

suddenly you wake up in your bed, last thing you remember is sitting in the car with binnie

and he won't acknowledge it if you don't do it first

he'd gladly lend his body to you if it makes you comfortable

you need a lap to sleep in? he's sitting down for you to use his immediately

you feel a bit cold? he's hugging you tight from behind to share his body heat

you're in need of something to hug? well, his arm is free and there for you to use for all your hugging needs

the second you're left alone for some reason, he'd have an itch to constantly check up on you to make sure you're alright

other caregivers might look at him and think that he's a bad caregiver because he doesn't coddle you and interact with you all the time

but the more they see him in action, the more they see that he always puts his baby's needs first, before anything else

he'd let you use his body as a tree to climb if you got too much energy

he'd also never get mad at you

if he can feel himself get irritated, he takes a breather bc he knows he can look really scary when he's mad and he never wants you to be scared, especially when you're regressed

when regressed

okay but little binnie is a jokester

he likes pulling his hyungs or caregiver(s) along with his little shenanigans without telling them anything

he's also LOUD

like very very loud

and hyper, but mostly loud

like, you'll never doubt that he's feeling small, just bc of the sheer volume this boy has

he likes hugs and skinship but gets easily flustered when that happens in front of other people he may consider his friends in headspace or people he looks up to

but he's also a little silly about it

like, as soon as someone cuddles him in any way, he'd run off, acting like it's the most outrageous thing ever

but when he turns around and sees he isn't being followed with the "threat" of more cuddles, he seeks the person who tried to cuddle him again, looking for more, secretly loving the closeness

but if he's sad or hurt you better give him hugs and cuddles STAT

he needs the tight hugs and the patting on his back with small shushes, or else he will NEVER feel good again (that's how he feels anyway)

his voice is DEFINITELY lighter when he feels small

like, he sounds so cute, no matter if he baby talks or not, just bc his voice is so light and he giggles loads :(((

he's also talking about himself in third person a lot

"can binnie have-" "changbinnie baby"

also, cute noises galore

those cute noises are mostly "da"

and he'll say them randomly and sometimes when he doesn't wanna say actual words

then it's his caregiver(s)' job to find out what the meaning behind "da!" is this time

and he's a v v scared baby, so remember to choose cartoons and movies and such carefully bc you might end up with a crying binnie or a binnie with nightmares

also, please give this boy a fidget toy

Hyunjin

as a caregiver

hyunjin,,, he's the type to baby you so much that you become very much dependent on him

changbin was the type to only fix problems when they presented themselves too much of a challenge for you?

well, hyunjin is the complete opposite

how dare there be anything in your way?

he'll fix all of your problems and then coo at you like you'd just experienced something bad

hyunjin with 1000% babytalk to you

i don't care that you may not regress young, he will babytalk you regardless

like,, the cringe way that you see those overly attached parents do to their spawn

he's also the type to have his entire focus on you

the building he's in could be burning and he wouldn't care bc you're there

...that's an exaggeration bc he'd save you from said burning building

bottom line is that he's not ever taking his eyes off you by his own free will

and if he can get away with it, he's definitely carrying you everywhere

he's also the first/only one i see being cool with being a caregiver for multiple littles

and he'll still try to give each one the same amount of attention, but he figures out at some point that it's just not possible

he'll still try though

he's the type to yell

but in fake/silly anger

"Yah!! why is my baby so adorable when asking for ice cream for dinner?! how can i say no to that when they're so cute??!! aaaahhh!!!"

he just loves his baby a lot (maybe too much) and he's not afraid to show and/or yell it to the world

when regressed

i don't know what it is about small hyunjin or why he's like this, but a big thing for him when he's little is saying small things in english

maybe it's the praise that goes along with it when he does it

maybe it's bc it's a language he's not the best at, so he feels smaller

but sometimes he'd just say some small english sentence, looking around at the people around him when he's done

he loves oversized clothing when he's small

he wants to be able to pitch his sweatshirts like a tent, that's how big he wants them

sometimes he wants them so much that if there aren't any oversized clothes for him to wear, he threatens you with not wearing clothes at all until he gets to wear a huge hoodie or something like that

he's a brat and loves teasing people but as soon as there's a chance of there being some sort of consequence for his actions, he's apologizing profusely and backtracking

either that or he's doubling down

it can be either in any given situation, you can never predict how he'll react

he's cute and he knows it, but if anybody else calls him cute he finds somewhere to hide

mostly under blankets but sometimes you'll also find him under the couch

completely flustered

he's almost always giggling

hiiiiigh giggles

cute n light

and he keeps jumping around, like a little bunny, mostly when he doesn't know what to do with himself

i feel like someone who'd be well equipped to handle him when he's small, would be minho

whether he's hyunjin's caregiver or just an uncle type, he's the one who can read hyunjin the best and deals with his antics effortlessly

Jisung

as a caregiver

physically reassuring !!!!!!

as a caregiver, he loves making sure his baby is okay by holding their hand,, placing a hand on their shoulder or back, or maybe even just hugging them

it's all to get their attention and feel him there

he does so much for his baby's sake, even if he doesn't really care for it

like, if you like a particular tv show but he doesn't, he'll go out of his way to watch it with you, just because he knows you enjoy it

he's also really good at giving praise

if he wants you to know that you did something that made him happy he'll say that ofc, but also the small things, like putting one of your toys away

"good job, baby!"

but if he's praised as a caregiver, make sure to keep an eye out for red ears, bc he's so easily flustered when the praise is for him

he may act like he's receiving it well and he's most likely like "of course, i'm the greatest caregiver of all time!" but his ears don't lie

he's silly but not in a very obvious way when he's in caregiver mode

he likes to make little jokes, inside jokes mainly, things he knows will get a laugh, to get his baby to giggle a bit and then he goes back for more cuddles

he tries to be so brave for his baby when it comes to animals, but when you're not looking, he lets out his scared expressions

he complains a bit if his baby wants to look at or touch creepy crawlers, but he will never limit your curiosity

he will usually just keep a good distance, himself

he may forget the small details sometimes

like, if you don't like peas or if you prefer your drink a special way

but he always knows things like how to make you happy, how to comfort you when you're sad

and when you know stuff like that, the little things don't matter all that much

when regressed

clumsy clumsy baby

like, if you go out with him, parks are probably the best bc then he has something soft to fall on when he stumbles

flappy hands when he's excited

now, because of his social anxiety, jisung needs extra special care when he's regressed

he needs personal grounding methods, an emergency plan for panic attacks and a list of comfort items

he also does better if he has one primary caregiver

then he knows who to go to and they'd know how to handle bad moments

a grounding method of his is probably the 54321 method

yk, list 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can touch around you, 3 things you hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste

though, he does need to be guided through that, which is why a caregiver for him is a little essential

at least a babysitter

his caregiver/babysitter also has to make sure he has mobile games available or a hand console for video games

while he may not regress very young, he still needs a lot of care, equivalent to the care someone regressed younger would need

i imagine him being non-verbal if he's not somewhere he's comfortable and with people he trusts completely

so, a lot of tugging on clothes when he needs attention or tapping his cg's shoulder

very very easy to tears

bc when he's regressed, he doesn't hold anything back

it's his safe space to do so

also, pls pls pls bring his stuffie wherever you go

one he can hug when he's overwhelmed or feeling the need to self-soothe

overall happy baby unless he's in an uncomfortable environment with people he doesn't know

Felix

as a caregiver

felix is such a sensitive person

like, we all know he's a big sunshine but he's also blames himself a lot and feels guilty easily

so, he might need to be reassured a lot that he's doing a good job

otherwise he might start thinking that he's a bad caregiver and isolate himself

he'd have some idea of what to do when caring for someone younger, as he does have a little sister, but he's also the middle child, so he would probably need a bit of help

i'm thinking that, yes, he'd take care of things like making you snacks, helping you with clothes, and all the other essential things, but as more of an older brother type of caregiver than as a parental figure

his go-to thing to do with you is cuddle

cuddle while watching tv, cuddle while reading books, cuddle while getting you to sleep/waking you up, it's just his favourite way to do anything

he's also rly possessive over you, so it just works out rly well if you're constantly in his arms

if his members were to talk to you when you're regressed or baby you, even if you weren't regressed, he'd quickly bring is arms around you, pouting that you're his

one of his other fave things to do with you is 'beauty salon'

you get all kinds of creative freedom with putting nail polish and makeup on him

when you're done, sitting in anticipation, waiting for him to pick up the mirror and tell you what he thinks, he always makes sure to be 'pleasantly surprised'

he knows, of course, that it wouldn't be anywhere near the professional looks he gets in comebacks and such, but he always loves what you do

(and even if it looks absolutely terrible, he always finds at least one thing to praise)

when regressed

so, have we all seen him patting himself to self-soothe? bc i have

anxious little bean

he just wants to be comforted more than anything

he will cling onto his caregiver at any given chance, but sometimes doubt gets the best of him and he thinks that people around him hate that he's this clingy

and then he tries his best to self-soothe with touch he remembers being comforting

like wrapping his arms around himself

or, in situations where he's trying to be lowkey or feels a bit worse about himself, he pats or strokes his hair

be on the lookout for these !!!!!! bc that means that he needs a prescription of ALL THE HUGS!!!!

cuddle piles are the best

he might also try to lighten his voice bc it doesn't sound right in his ears to have such a deep voice when being 4 or so years old

just making sure that he knows he doesn't have to do it and that's he's a tiny kid regardless should do the trick

oh yeah, and remember those animal onesies that were rly popular some years ago? the rly soft and snuggly ones? (ahem i have 3 ahem)

he will practically live in one if he had the chance

even better if the one he got is of a kangaroo

bc he miss home and then he got extra pockets heheh

he's the kind to silently tuck himself into his caregiver's side

like, under the cg's arm and head tucked into a crevice, most likely the chest or neck

and, for some reason, that mostly happens in the kitchen, when the cg is cooking something

speaking of kitchen!! he loooves baking cake with his cg

it's a time where he can have a dance party while baking and maybe even have a flour fight and then end up with delicious baked goodness

and if his cg tells him he can't have cake as a snack all the time, that's okay!!

he likes fruit too when he's regressed, so give him the job of rinsing the fruit while an 'adult' cuts it, and he'll be very content with that

also, be patient with him when he's just woken up bc he's pretty dazed

Seungmin

as a caregiver

very very soft-spoken

could look like he's just a pushover bc he lets his baby get away with a lot of things

but he does have a limit

people just aren't quick to notice bc he's very soft about it

when he says "no more" he says it quietly

he doesn't need it to be broadcasted to anybody who isn't the one he's saying it to

and that's partly why his baby listens to him so well

he doesn't make a big scene about when his boundaries have been met, nor does he put you on the spot

he handles things privately and quietly

doesn't mean he isn't filled with sass that is ready to be unleashed at any moment

i don't think he'd sass his baby too much, but he'd sass his members a bit extra when you're around bc you always giggle and clap your hands at it

and maybe once in a while you'd also sass his members

the reaction from him is a bit of pride but most of all he thinks it's funny, when you haven't crossed a line

the other members can't believe how much his sassy nature has rubbed off on you though

the look at you and him in shock, mouths wide open while seungmin just smiles and shrugs

always has his camera ready for shooting some pictures of his baby

probably has a whole photo album just of his baby when they're regressed

his favourite thing is to take you to the aquarium or to the zoo

just somewhere you don't normally go

and then he gets to take pics of you being fascinated by all the things around you

when regressed

i feel like seungmin is the most independent when regressed

most times he's just in his own little world

he doesn't need a whole lot

of course, it'd be nice to not have to do things like cook for yourself, but when snacks exist and when you can buy entire meals, finished

he's old enough to work a microwave when he's regressed

so really, he doesn't need a cg

wouldn't complain if one fell into his lap though

that doesn't mean he doesn't thoroughly enjoy it when there are people around him

he loves being a little menace to his hyungs

so so so giggly!!

like, he giggles almost all the time when he's small

when he's watching tv, when he's eating, when he's running around, etc.

he doesn't treat stuffed animals all that nicely...

maybe it's because he's a little older than most of the group when they're regressed

he might, once in a while, like to cuddle with a soft stuffed animal when he's going to sleep but other than that, nah

he just pokes them in their eyes, pulls on their ears, just doing something that would make other littles gasp in horror

he's the only one where i'm pretty certain he also pet regresses

or at least likes to pretend that he's a puppy when he's regressed, i don't know but he's a tiny puppy sometimes

which means being even rougher with the stuffed animals, because if he can fit even an arm or ear of the plushie into his mouth, it's getting chewed on and roughed up

you know the way that dogs swing a toy around when they're playing?

yeah....

Jeongin

as a caregiver

if you don't care about if your stuff gets dropped or maybe ruined, go ahead and give them to jeongin

but um,, don't give him stuff that breaks easily

he's broken a few of his baby's figurines and it's rly a wonder that it happens sometimes

there's a shortage of bowls that aren't made out of plastic

so, he may be the caregiver, but you really look out for each other, since he needs a hand too

he loves singing songs to have his baby dance to them

(it's mostly gonna be trot songs, and if you complain enough; trot versions of skz's songs)

as he's not in a position to take care of anybody usually, yk with being the youngest in the group, he's not too sure in a caregiving role

he'd probably be more at ease being called a baby sitter, instead of a caregiver, as he usually just feels like he's making sure no fatal accidents happen on his watch

and that the house is relatively clean in the process

you'd think he may not be one for a lot of hugs and cuddles, but i'd say almost the opposite

idk, there's just something about being the one to take care of another person instead of being the youngest that makes him wanna cuddle his baby

not a lot but enough

like, for movies or when you ask for cuddles on nights you can't sleep

and ofc he'll hug you if you asked for it (of if you're too adorable for him to stop himself but shhh)

i think one part of being a caregiver that he rly excels at is brushing teeth

he'll be so careful when brushing his baby's teeth

he knows how to angle the toothbrush to get all the crevices from years of figuring out how to effectively brush his teeth with braces

and he knows how it can hurt if people are not careful when dealing with teeth and gums so he's super gentle

when regressed

now, not to be harsh

but he's a little shit

and he knows he's safe when he's regressed bc no one would dare hurt him when he's small

so he won't even get the usual shoulder punch he'd get when he isn't regressed

and he's about to make that fact everyone's problem

and when he knows he's on the verge of a punishment, he runs to hyunjin to save him

and he does. every. single. time

baby jeongin eats a lot and he does it quickly

you've made him a snack and turn around for a second to get some for yourself?

he's already finished and asking for more

you fear that one day he'll get an upset stomach bc of the speed of which he's eating but that day never comes

fortunately for you

if you want a little baby innie who's just cute and sweet and adorable, then you have to be there when he's just woken up

he's just soft and fuzzy there, just a tiny baby

when it's time for bed, he's also a bit quieter and lowkey

you tend to be that way after a whole day of annoying everyone around you

it's draining

but it's one of his cg's favourite time of the day

he's still a silly little boy, but he's more prone to doing what's asked of him

like, he'll be all silly, making jokes and talking back but when you ask him to raise his arms to get him in pajamas, he'll do it

the same with going to sleep

he's not a difficult one to get to go to sleep

he just needs a night light and sweet words beforehand and then he's good to go to dreamland

A/N: this took me sooo long to finish, i'm so so sorry for the wait. i love doing headcanons bc i put a lot of thought and research into it, but it's also a lot of work, especially when it's an entire group and for both the caregiving and age regressing side PHEW i hope you enjoy it though!!

also, pls don't come for me, these were just some small thoughts on how i think they might be. i'd say i don't know them well enough to come to these conclusions easily, so yeah

feedback would be awesome if you could spare a second <3

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punch-love · 8 months

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conflict anon here again and im SO GLAD you agree man. i think what really gets me about it is that i was specifically searching for conflict-packed fic and that's why i was so let down. i also feel like authors are entitled to write whatever they want forever but it just FEELS to me when im reading their fics like they would be happier writing something more domestic, and i want to find something where they're more feral.

i want the ID reveal and the relationship-confirming to cause MORE problems, hell i want them to get together and blow out into a massive argument and breakup then have breakup sex and get back together and then realize the sex didn't actually fix anything and then break up again but they can't stop being obnoxiously in each others space either way

but it feels like fic im trying to find like this fights the very concept of conflict so hard and wants one singular plot point to fix everything as quickly as possible without even walking me through the characters' insight as to HOW that fixed anything other than "problem over, let's be together forever now!" let alone the level of conflict that'd be so engaging like that with a million curveballs

im so aware its a personal taste thing its just been frustrating reading fic after fic after fic and finding so little of it. its no ones fault i can't find fic perfectly tailored to my tastes specifically, i just tend to ramble about my frustration. you and oprime and sci and a couple other authors are my favorite for writing it the way you do, she's not gonna die today will always be one of my favorite fics of all time because it gave me that ever persisting conflict driven by their obsessive need to stick together even when they're fighting every step of the way. i just always get into a longwinded ramble when this comes up and i was hoping youd like to share your thoughts so thank you for answering 🙏

I think this pairing kind of presents a unique challenge to writers (at least it did for me) that action and conflict is such a huge, borderline essential part of their canonical dynamic. If you're not used to writing/utilizing both physical and emotional conflict, your stories can often fall so, so flat for these two, specifically because that's the fuel that makes the engine run. The first true action scene I ever wrote was chapter two of love-punch, and I like, now I'm an action writer for life now (editing an action sequence as we speak) but I had to get out of my comfort zone because I realized that type of stories I wanted to write about them required them to beat the shit out of each other to work.

These two are definitely not problem solvers so much as shit starters. I feel like for them, the problems they actually have to solve are the ways they perceive each other (because both of them heavily project onto the other) and what that means long-term for their relationship - every other form of conflict, to me, is up for grabs forever when it comes to their relationship. The shit talking, ass kicking, and fire starting is what makes them, them.

I've said this before, but a lot of people write fanfiction as an exploration of their own ideal relationships. (which is absolutely fine) I think spideypool is a difficult sell though, for that specific fantasy, because their relationship operates on instability and violence primarily. I think most people aren't looking for a relationship where your communication consists of name-calling, beat downs, and moral differences so severe it makes you almost kill each other a lot. That, does not make a good, a good or healthy real world relationship but SUCH a fun fictional one. People are going to write their fantasies out, though, and that fantasy is that one kiss/one fuck/one confession creates relationship fueled bliss forever because many people, hate conflict - both experiencing and reading it. It sucks, if you're a reader who likes problems. I also always say this, but I encourage you to channel that energy into writing your own work. It's what I did, and it paid off so great for me because now I have 12 works specifically catered to my own personal needs exclusively. Fandom is always going to suck, but you can be the change! (and if you don't want to write, that's cool too, sometimes it's good just to get your qualms out into the world and find people who agree)

tagging @primewritessmut again so she can read your praise straight from the source.

It's a tough fandom if you really like their canonical dynamic more than their fanon one, I feel you man. I am always holding a prayer circle that more writers who like problems more than they like easy resolutions joins in and starts writing some real fucked up shit.

#mailbox #peter parker confession booth #there's for sure an audience but you have to like. really enjoy writing about conflict and difficult solutions to said conflict #and that's a tragically small pool of people (lol) in this fandom #it means a lot of filtering. a lot of scrolling the top page #and for me. a lot of writing my own shit when I am unhappy #I again #feel you so hard on this one #conflict rules

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lunarsilkscreen · 8 months

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About Nothing

A famous philosopher; Jerry Seinfeld, when writing his then upcoming sitcom stated confidentially to his would-be employer "It's a show about nothing!"

His intent was to explain that the premise of this show was about the "situations in-between." What're you doing when you have nothing important going on? What do you do when you're "doing nothing".

It is said, that nowadays, everybody has a lot of something going on and not enough nothing. They have never watched Seinfeld. Because there were a whole lot of somethings in a show about nothing.

Today, when you talk about "doing nothing" we talk about how we're going to go home and literally "do nothing" because we're too burned out to do nothing.

I think about Markiplier talking about how he'd login to World of Warcraft just to mash the space bar because his ADHD won't let him do anything else. And as a fellow spacebar enthusiast, (MMO players can communicate solely through how they press the spacebar, it's something we joke about, but in truth, it is VERY true.)

I too have done that. But it was never about how he talks about ADHD. It was always about just, your spirit leaving you and feeling too shitty to do anything. But now you've logged into the game, and after all the effort, I'll be damned if I'm gonna close it. So spacebar or /dance it is.

Which eventually turns into MMO parkour, and then devs went and took it too far with their jump puzzles.

And then you become attached to the other names you see running around the screen and how they express themselves.

And you know, just doing nothing together until somebody asks to form a party and do the actual game thing, and then you have to think about how much energy it's gonna take you to do the exact game thing they're asking you to do, and whether or not you want to exert that effort at 3 in the morning, and then you think eh "why the f* not?" So you go do that game thing.

But if it's a difficult game thing, then you also have to take into account the other player's skill level, because for some reason, even if you've never played with somebody before you know their skill level from how they use the spacebar and their /emotes. Note, not that they have rare emotes you can only get through special events or from the cash shop. I mean *how* they use them.

For example: syncing up emotes with other players (before that was a thing that you can just do) or making a lot of noise with friends.

There's a lot that can be communicated about skill in a game through the things they do that require little skill.

Anyway, I miss the other nothing's doing nothing.

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psychelis-new · 1 year

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Hii I hope you don’t mind me asking for some advice. So whenever I go in a crowded place and stay for a while I always end up crying whenever I come back home. I’m guessing its bc I absorb other peoples energy? I’ve tried visualising a shield but I feel it’s not strong enough. If you have any advice for this in general I would really be grateful.

Hey, sure it's fine. Yes it could be cause you pick up a whole bunch of energies all at once or just that... being around people, especially crowds, makes you feel unsafe. It's a normal reaction, you don't have to worry: not everyone likes being around people, and in particular when there are too many of them and you cannot control what they do or where they go. It can feel overwhelming (and it can be a sign of a deeper wound though -ofc I'm not a doctor, so take as resonates).

In particular when we're already stressed for other reasons, being around lot of people (and strong noises, lights and smells), can indeed add to our fears/stress and make it all too much to bear with. But it's good that you cry: crying helps you remove what hurts, physically and emotionally. It could simply be your way to free yourself from that accumulation of random energies or from the general experience. Ofc I am sorry you cry, but it's good. Some people cannot cry easily for things that happens to them, and they accumulate so much before they can free themselves (yeah, hi!)... Anyway, crying doesn't have to be a bad thing, no matter what you've grown up believing (generally: crying = something is wrong = bad). Crying is good, it helps you get better (even if you're in pain).

Now, back to us: to not feel is almost impossible, especially for those who are empaths and pretty sensible (this is also how we may have grown up, needing to pay attention to our surroundings in order to "save ourselves"). But you can work on trying to isolate from what's outside, to put up boundaries (emotional ones. Kinda like shields, but you don't need to visualize anything and lose energy that way -losing energy makes you more vulnerable to the outside one, try to preserve it within you). To put up this boundaries requires lot of work/practice and patience, of confidence and kindness in yourself (it won't work perfectly since day 1) and working on grounding yourself and feeling stable. This is the only real shield you can truly create, whether it's energies or just emotions: working from your inside out.

Generally psychologists suggests to get away from any overwhelming situation (when possible ofc): but crowds are hard to be avoided sometimes. So, try to move away mentally by focusing on something else. - Maybe put music on (just pls remember to pay attention when you cross roads and even walk, look where you go -I personally don't like that cause it makes me lose focus on my surroundings and I don't like to be not able to hear what's around me, but we're all different) - sing a song or a random lullaby in your head, or repeat a lesson or plan your day/try to imagine a dialogue with a friend or anyone (maybe in another language if you know, just to practice it too -it will totally make you focus on another problem which is remembering words); - count to a number (just to see if everyday you count to the same number); - maybe count your steps, but try to not run; - focus on a color/word or an advertisment you can see around, and try to imagine a story about any of them or where you can find them (like color yellow: lemons, bananas, minions...). - hold a notebook or something near your stomach, it may help you feel protected (even a plushie, there's nothing bad in that). - imagine someone holding your hand if you want, and shielding you. Your angels are likely to do it anyway, just be aware of their presence around you. Just take it slow and breathe. Focus on your breathing and calm your body (especially neck/shoulders area and lower back/belly), remind yourself it's okay/safe to walk there and nothing will happen. And nobody's energy can enter you if you don't let them, so don't be scared, don't let fear take over: stay focused on you and grounded. If you walk around in fear of others and look at how many people are around you thinking "omg they're too many I cannot afford them all", you will easily start getting overwhelmed. Don't let this happen: you don't have to afford anyone, you just need to walk your path to home. Again, breathe and focus on you. Do/Think anything that can keep you focused on something else, and that can be comforting for you in that moment, until the crowd is only a memory.

Take care, okay?

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lostitude · 2 years

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Sims 4 Rainbow Siblings Challenge

Sims 4 Rainbow Siblings Challenge Rules

This isn't a rule, but it can be really fun to incorporate your sim's color into both their appearance, clothes and house/room!

Money cheats are not allowed, although you can use the "freerealestate on" for building.

No other cheats are allowed except exclusively building related ones (bb.moveobjects on).

Your sims must all live together in one house, they can only move out when they complete all their goals (or get married).

You may not use mods to exceed the 8 sim max (remember to leave room for a pet since it is required to complete yellow's aspiration).

Lifespan can be set to anything (short, normal, long, etc).

Use the #sims4rainbowsiblings to show off your challenge!

SIBLING 1 - RED

The color red describes burning emotions such as anger, passion, ambition, desire, and more. Growing up, your anger and impulsiveness got you in trouble, constantly ending up in the principals office or being scolded by your parents. When your siblings and you moved out, you began to work out and prank other, wanting nothing more than to hurt others as they hurt you. Despite your initial beliefs, something led you to a change of heart in which you joined the military and became a General, using your anger to help rather than hurt others.

Traits: Hot-Headed, Romantic, Ambitious

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Career: Military - Officer

Goals

Must max fitness, mischief, and charisma skills

Reach level 10 of Military Officer Career

Must complete aspiration.

After completing the aspiration, your sim must marry a colleague met at work.

Sim (or their significant other) gets pregnant and quits their job to focus on family.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

SIBLING 2: ORANGE

Orange represents energy, charisma, and laughter, all these traits are present in you. You love making new friends and the feeling you get when you make others laugh, therefore you do everything you can to do it. When you realize you could earn money from making people laugh, you immediately jump on the bandwagon. After marrying a famous celebrity, your popularity only rose further and you became a well known comedian.

Traits: Goofball, Clumsy, Outgoing

Aspiration: Joke Star

Career: Entertainer - Comedian

Goals

Must max comedy, charisma, and acting skills.

Reach level 10 of Comedian career.

Must complete aspiration.

Marry a 3 star celebrity.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

SIBLING 3: YELLOW

Yellow is a color reminiscent of happiness, warmth and sunshine, and you do not fall short of embodying these traits. From a young age you loved animals, dogs, cats, hamsters, everything! All you wanted to do growing up was to become a vet and spend every day of your life caring for animals, and so you did. Aside from running a 5 Star Vet and playing with your pet, you love donating to charity and volunteering.

Traits: Good, Cat Lover, Dog Lover

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals

Career: Veterinarian

Goals

Must max pet training, veterinarian, and charisma skills.

Complete aspiration.

Own a 5 star vet

Marry a customer within 3 days of meeting them (they must have a pet)

Divorce this customer and keep the pet.

Adopt 2 more pets.

Move in with blue sibling.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

SIBLING 4: GREEN

You love everything green in nature, from plants to bustling forests you feel at home in the wilderness. You take frequent trips to granite falls to assess the local plants and flowers. You love spending your free time caring for your garden and making bouquets out of the flowers you grow. You desire to one day move to a house inside a forest, maybe even a tree house, but who knows if that will come true...

Traits: Loves outdoors, Green fiend, Freegan

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Career: Gardner - Botanist

Goals

Must max gardening, flower arranging, and herbalism skills.

Must complete aspiration.

Reach level 10 of Botanist career.

Visit Granite Falls every day off.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

SIBLING 5: BLUE

The color blue represents your calming and responsible nature. Some may describe you as depressed or "down", but you try your best to get work done despite that. You deal with your sadness by writing, ever since you were a kid you wrote books about everything from your daily life to stories of long lost dragons. Now that you're grown up, you desire to become a bestselling author who can inspire other kids to write their feelings away.

Traits: Gloomy, Bookworm, Loner

Aspiration: Bestselling Author

Career: Writer - Author

Goals

Must max writing, logic, and photography skills.

Reach level 10 of Author career.

Complete aspiration.

Write an award winning book.

Move in with yellow sibling.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

SIBLING 6: PURPLE

Luxury, wealth and success are all words to describe both the color purple and you. Second place was never an option for you, especially if you wanted to life a life of luxury. Despite your never-ending riches and successful career, you find an absence in your life. You try to fill it with romance, but quickly realize people only want you for your money. Instead, your try giving back to the world by adopting 2 kids, in doing so you begin to reconnect with a childhood friend, one who knows nothing of your wealth but talks to you anyways...

Traits: Materialistic, Snob, High Matinence

Aspiration: Fabulously wealthy

Career: Doctor

Goals

Must max logic, handiness, and violin.

Reach level 10 of Doctor career.

Complete aspiration.

Marry a gold digger but then divorce them.

Adopt 2 kids.

Get married to your childhood friend.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

SIBLING 7: PINK

Romance, kindness, love, these traits are all associated with the color pink, luckily everything about you is also pink. You love to be the center of attention, but you don't actively try to be, rather, your cheerful nature draws other to you. You never felt like any career suited you, but after your friend told you that you should be a YouTuber you decided to try it. You immediately fell in love with content creation and started making daily vlogs and dancing videos, gaining fame quickly. But after finding out the person you were dating was cheating on you, fans from both sides lashed out at the two of you. You had always had a crush on their best friend, but can you manage to keep a good reputation while also following your love instincts?

Traits: Childish, Cheerful, Romantic

Aspiration: Soulmate

Career: Style Influencer - Trend Setter

Goals

Must max charisma, media production, and dancing skills.

Reach level 10 of Trend Setter Career.

Complete aspiration.

Become a 3 star celebrity.

Date a famous e-sports gamer but break up with them.

Date your ex’s rival and get married.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

#sims #sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims challenge #ts4 legacy #sims 4 legacy #simblr

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alyjojo · 1 year

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February 🐉 2023 Monthly - Capricorn

Whole of your energy: King of Pentacles

Work, career & money all of that looks really good for you overall. There’s a situation with a particular person, either in your family or a close relationship. If anything is hurting you, it seems to be some toxic way of communicating, or not, and that’s toxic. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and saying nothing? Sounds like Capricorn 💯 Or that’s who you’re dealing with.

What’s going on in February:

2 Swords:

You’re indecisive about speaking up, or staying silent. Being Cap, you’re probably much more reserved in communication normally, and when it comes to translating your emotions or current reality/struggles into words, it’s not something that comes easily to you. Especially if you have Cap Mercury. This may not even be recent, you could have gone through difficult times that required a lot of Strength from you, and just suffered silently, kept it all to yourself and handled it like the silent warrior you often are.

King of Wands rev:

This seems to be someone in your family, if a person at all. Someone bossy, domineering, authoritative and demanding, selfish, full of ego & all about themselves and what they want. 10 Cups clarifies, either this is someone you’re staying silent with because they’re this way, or they may be reacting this way once you open up, which is really what this whole month is all about. It could also be you being this way towards a family member because of something that’s being told to you, new information coming out. This could also be a particular person at work that you feel is in your way from you having the life of your dreams, they could be an arrogant s.o.b.

The Moon rev:

Complete clarity where you were confused, 7 Swords rev shows up later on to show the same message. You’ve not been open and honest about what you’ve gone through, how you feel, where you feel stuck and trapped, things that have your hands tied financially, etc. Clarifiers are all finance cards, you’ve been working hard to probably pay off some debts and invest in yourself a bit, for some time with 5 Pentacles rev. And have been successful at it, for the 5 to be reversed. If you’ve not been open with a family member, they’re probably disappointed they had no idea, or you didn’t even give them the chance to help. Because you never spoke up in the first place. Same for anything going on at work, you could be next in line to receive some very positive attention, a position, whatever, but you’re so closed off and silent, people that aren’t like that may question your motives, like what is it Capricorn wants? They’re a great worker, but they’re miserable? Opening up is necessary, people can’t read minds, they can only guess, and y’all tend to favor pessimistic behaviors and attitudes even when you are happy.

8 Pentacles:

Opening up and being completely honest & transparent about where you’ve been, where you are, and what you want is going to get you exactly what you want, success follows. You’ve put in the time and work and deserve all of the success from that, but it’s like you don’t think you do? Or you don’t speak up to be counted. That’s all you have to do according to this.

10 Pentacles:

Commitment, stability, the peak of career or any relationships all follows complete transparency and opening up. If you’ve given something everything you’ve got, say so! The Devil in your reading feels self inflicted, probably due to confidence issues, and a major lack of communication & clarity, and idk why. You’ve got great energy and everything is going well for you. 10 Pentacles & Cups, The King that’s best suited to run those 10 Pentacles. Why have you held back? 💚

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Leo, Virgo, Pisces & Cancer

Oracles: ✨

13 Abundance 💰

Abundance takes on many forms: material possessions, friendships, excellent health, emotional stability, unique experiences…

When you lock yourself into a narrow view on what defines abundance, you lose out on the whole picture of what it *could* mean. Open yourself up to as many forms of wealth and abundance that are possible and watch your blessings multiply. Always remember that focusing on what you do not have is a sure-fire way to feed the energy and make that your truth. Every day watch for signs of abundance from the universe - acknowledge and be thankful, thus encouraging the continued flow of energy. Remember the universe will always provide you with what you need.

We enter into February as:

Pistachio 🎩

“I’ve got all I could ever need, right here.”

Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. They can begin to snowball. Pistachio wants you to live the life that he can’t seem to participate in. He is saying “Stop waiting for the right time to live your life!” This isn’t the dress rehearsal, it’s the real thing. You could be on the verge of something big, and if you don’t participate, you’re going to watch it pass you by. Don’t let anything prevent you from taking a chance. It is important to do what you love to do, but are you letting new experiences in? Or are you in a comfort zone that’s leading nowhere? Doing the same thing and expecting something different is not likely. The time is now to take a risk, talk to people, show up for life! Live now! Don’t wait another day.

What is to be learned in February: you’ve pulled two

Gold Coins 💰

“I only seek to give you what you ask for.”

Gold Coins gently asks you to look at your relationship with money. Money doesn’t care where it goes. It naturally goes toward appreciation and gratitude. What we do with our own abundance makes the difference. Are you blaming something on money? Are you running from it? Be wary of using your financial situation as an excuse to avoid doing something you love to do. Are you questioning a relationship or career that is hitting a rocky time? It may be time to look for the good in it. Remember there are two sides to every coin. What you desire may currently be manifesting. Great riches are waiting for you to use them. You can ask the universe for riches or poverty, the universe doesn’t care, only you can change your inner experience. “Things” only hold value when we think they do. If there were no money, it didn’t exist, what else would you do? What else would you focus on?

Sage 🧙🏼‍♂️

“Wisdom...is knowing the difference between risk, and stupidity.”

It is time to listen to what others are telling you. Is there some wise counsel that you have sought, only to ignore it? Are you trying to do things all by yourself? A solution to your problems may come from those more experienced than yourself. Trust that whomever you think to ask will be the right person. Sage can also indicate a time of surrendering what you have no control over. Wisdom only comes from experience, and we all have challenges because we need the lessons they provide. Remember to stay in today, no jumping ahead. This is an opportunity to start over and clean out the old, it’s the perfect time to do it. Rejoice! You are walking a path of Great Spirits 🍃

Green & Gold may be lucky colors 💚💛

#capricorn tarot reading #monthly reading #february 2023 #Capricorn #tarot #monthly #astro notes #astro observations #astroblr #tarotblr

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arabellaflynn · 2 years

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The SOJD is on hiatus. The Celtics dance team has gone mixed-gender this year, and he is one of the first men they signed. If any of you are the sort who watch sportsball and actually pay attention to the non-sportsball segments of the broadcast, have fun trying to guess which one of the guys did his best to teach me hip hop.

He says it is temporary. He swears that teaching is "necessary for [his] mental health", and that he's going to figure out how to run single-session pop-ups whenever he can. In theory, he'll go back to twice-weekly classes in April if our team sucks, June if we don't.

I don't like not having that class. It was useful in a technical training sense, but a lot of classes are; I picked up two others that will teach me equally useful things. They're fine. My schedule is fine. Everything's fine, and I hate it. I've spent the past two weeks trying to come up with a reasonable career-based argument for why I'm at such a loss right now, and I can't, because there isn't one.

I miss that class because I felt wanted. And it's taken me this long to articulate that because it feels like a petty thought to have. There are a million other people who have been perfectly lovely to me, and extended a welcome as soon as I asked for one. It shouldn't matter that someone walked up and started talking to me first for once, but it does. I feel ungrateful and childish for caring.

It took me forever to figure out what he was up to, because normally people are only that persistent about talking to me when they want something. He didn't seem to want special treatment from the desk and he was way too gay to be angling for a date, so I didn't know what the fuck. The other thing people normally want out of me is emotional work, because when you're known to be generally unflappable it makes you look like a great repository for everyone's trauma-thoughts, but it actually took me months to convince him that when I asked "how are you?" that was an actual question and not a social noise, so.

He didn't want me to do anything for him. I eventually wound up doing a lot of things for him, but I hadn't done any of them yet, and neither of us had any idea I was going to. He didn't have to talk to me at all. Most of the friends I have now are people who could not avoid making my acquaintance. We worked together or volunteered together or did a show together, or something. We're friends now because we like each other, but we only figured that out because we were required to interact at some point whether we wanted to or not. The SOJD could have just waved and walked past me. But he just wanted to chat, so he did.

How pathetic am I being that this actually matters?

I also felt very seen in that class, which is a whole 'nother can of worms. I have a love/hate relationship with attracting attention in classes, especially from the instructor. On the one hand, I understand it's supposed to be flattering, but on the other hand, I learn far better if I'm just fed a whole bunch of information and then left alone to sort through it, and I know from experience that attention is eventually going to end in me being deputized. I've picked up two other classes to fill in some hours, and both of them have already either started using me as an example. It irks me, but not enough to say anything; explaining why I have so much baggage around it is pretty much never worth the trouble. I just accept that if I want to take classes I'm going to have to put up with being the demonstration model in much the same way I accept that if I want to leave my house I'm going to have to put on real pants. It's just one of life's many annoyances.

Like life's other annoyances, you don't realize how much energy you put into dealing with it until you don't have to. The SOJD likes to pull people who are doing well up to the front row, because watching them succeed makes him happy. He tried it with me exactly once. I asked him, "Why am I up here?" he said, "Do you not like being up front?" I said "NO I DO NOT," he said, "Okay, you can go back where you were." Fin. I eventually drifted closer to the front of my own accord, once the mirror was more help than distraction, but he never brought it up again. I've never felt like I could have that conversation with an instructor, much less that it would solve more problems than it caused.

A lot of things have panned out like that. Fundamentally, I was just grateful to finally be in a room run by someone who Gets It, for certain very specific values of It that confound most other people. A lot of it has to do with understanding that yes, I am always in some amount of pain, and no, that doesn't always mean it would be better if I stopped doing whatever I'm doing. I can choose to do things that hurt, if doing them is more important to me than not being in pain, but that means I forfeit the right to have my pain acknowledged, because mentioning it just makes other people concerned to the point where they interfere. But I might decide that I just can't that day, and that decision isn't always going to be consistent, because it depends on a million bizarre and esoteric factors that I could not even begin to unpack.

I've only had to bail on class a couple of times. The last time I did it, I told him "love y'all, but if I keep going I'm gonna throw up on someone's shoes." He laughed at me -- which was the correct response, because I was being flippant -- but also let me go without kicking up a fuss about whether I was okay enough to get myself home. I've seen him do the normal-person thing when other people have mishaps in class, so I know he knows what most people expect. Having my own self-assessment respected by default is not something I expect, because it happens so rarely.

A part of me is sorry that he Gets It, because this is stuff you can't understand unless you live it for yourself. But I'm not responsible for other people having bad experiences decades before I met them, and now that they are where they are in life, I'm glad when I run into them.

I hate not having that space. I hate not having a class where I don't have to make sure I look 'okay' so I can fly under the radar. I do warn most dance teachers that I'm very bendy and will probably make a lot of mechanically-puzzling choices, but that's not the same as being able to say, "Wow, that really fucking hurts. Hang on a minute and I'll do it again," and not have to deal with all the fallout.

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smartrelationshiptips · 5 months

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5 Reasons Why Do Guys Go Cold After Breakup?

Why Do Guys Go Cold After Breakup? In the Past, we always heard that guys are more likely to go cold after a breakup. It’s because they’re too proud to reach out and show their feelings. But recent studies show that girls are just as likely, in some cases. Even more so than guys to go cold after a breakup.

We all have different ways of coping with loss and Rejection during tough times, but most people don’t want it to make things worse for themselves by keeping in contact with the person who hurt them.

Relationships are not always easy. They require time, effort, and energy to be invested. As a result, breakups can be devastating, and it takes time to recover from them.

However, the question of why guys go cold after a breakup pops up all the time. Why does love stop? What is going on with these men?

Why Do Guys Go Cold After Breakup – Why are Men Like this?

Here are 5 reasons Why Do Guys Go Cold After Breakup:

1. Fear of Rejection.

Men might stop calling after being dumped simply because they do not want to be rejected again. It is important for guys to feel respected and appreciated to have a positive view of the world and themselves.

The fear of being rejected is so strong that it drives some men to run away before they are vulnerable enough for the relationship to end.

2. Finding Someone Else.

It can be hard to get over a breakup, especially if you were the one who was dumped. As a result, some guys might start looking for new relationships to stop feeling hurt and replaced. Of course, this is the worst way to deal with things because it does not solve anything long term.

3. Starting a Fight.

A difficult breakup can cause men to act out in different ways. For example, some guys might get mad or start an argument for no reason so that they have something to fight about. Such fighting can be draining and cause a lot of stress which is why it is advisable to stay away from it.

4. Getting Angry at the Person Who Dumped You.

While anger might seem like a strong emotion, you need to realize that it just makes things difficult for you in the long term.

If you are angry because your ex broke up with you, you have to accept the reality and learn from it. The time for anger is over, and now you need to focus on moving forward.

5. Not Wanting a Relationship.

Some men do not want relationships, so they go cold after being burned by the breakup. They prefer casual dating and are not looking for a serious commitment.

Why Do Guys Go Cold After Breakup – What to do?

The question of why guys go cold after a breakup pops up all the time. Why does love stop? What is going on with these men?

Many different factors can cause this phenomenon. It is important to address each of them individually to know what you need to do to get over the relationship.

Here are 5 reasons Why Do Guys Go Cold After Breakup:

1. Get Active.

When you feel sad and angry simultaneously, it is hard to see things from different angles. However, getting active helps you realize that what happened was just another part of life, which means there are other opportunities for you. Exercise, meet new people, and find a hobby that puts your mind to good use.

2. Focus on You.

It would be best to focus on yourself and the things that make you happy in life to move on from the breakup faster. Remember that each relationship is a learning experience – no matter how difficult it might be.

3. Forget about the Past.

You can never go back to how things were before the breakup happened. You need to embrace the new situation and learn from your mistakes to make yourself a better person overall.

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Also, moving forward is not bad – it just means that you are ready for something new and different, which is just as exciting.

4. Talk about Your Feelings.

Talking to a friend or even a therapist about the breakup can help you get it all out there and understand that what happened was not your fault.

It was just something that had to be done for one reason or another, but now there is an opportunity for you to live a better life.

5. Do Not Make the Same Mistakes.

It would help if you did not try to go back to your ex or even do something out of revenge because it will never work in your favor. You should move on and focus on making yourself a better man when it comes to dating and relationships.