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samble-moved · 9 months

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Sayaka is Biyaka (or, a Lesbian Tries to Disprove the "Sayaka is a Lesbian With Comphet" Bi Erasure Theory)

For some reason, there's a loooot of belief in the PMMM fandom (this was especially bad in the mid 2010s) that Sayaka isn't bi (despite her canon, on screen romantic interested in both Kyosuke, a guy, and Kyoko, a girl), she's "just" a lesbian struggling with compulsive heterosexuality.

While many lesbians do struggle with comphet, erasing Sayaka's status as bi/pan/omni/mspec to claim she's a lesbian is...not great!

Usual signs of comphet include, but are not limited to:

Only attraction to guys involves ones who are entirely unobtainable (ex. a celebrity, fictional, etc)

Any man you fantasize about is faceless/nameless

Interest in men in theory, but not practice

"Choosing" a man to have a crush on to seem "normal", or because it's expected

Attraction based on logic, not actual emotion (ex. because your parents would approve)

Liking a guy until they return the interest

Being attracted to certain guys just because of something like a talent

(...and more examples here!)

However, Sayaka's attraction to Kyosuke doesn't seem based on any of these, but seems more to be genuine attraction/interest.

For one, Sayaka has been close to Kyosuke ever since she was a child. They're described and shown as childhood friends, and he isn't a guy Sayaka "just met" and "chose" to be into.

Sayaka also just isn't into Kyosuke at a surface level. If she held no true attraction towards him, why would she willingly trade her relatively safe, happy life for his happiness? Her wish was to heal his hand. While this was the stated wish, it's outright shown that Sayaka didn't just want that. It's outright shown canonically that, while not fully said, Sayaka wants Kyosuke's appreciation and recognition for this. She wants him to know the miracle was her doing, and wants him to love her for doing it.

The various interpretions of this won't be majorly touched here, as whether or not Sayaka's thinking there is "selfish" isn't important. What is important is that Sayaka shows a true level of attraction to Kyosuke, and wishes it was reciprocated.

It's not that she "just" likes him for his skills (she still visits him in the hospital, even during a time where it's implied that he won't be able to play his violin again). It's not that he's a guy out of reach — he's a childhood friend. She's not being pressured into liking guys. She literally jokes about Madoka being her wife in front of Hitomi, publicly.

Her feelings are obvious and genuine enough that Hitomi tells Sayaka that, if she wants, she will give Sayaka a day to confess to Kyosuke before Hitomi does.

A bisexual person who ends up later liking someone of the same gender later on isn't "actually gay" instead. A bisexual person with a preference isn't "choosing a side". Erasing a canon bisexual character's identity to claim "ummm, akshully, 🤓 they're Really X sexuality instead" is biphobic!

I'm probably not the best person to make this post, as I am a lesbian, not bisexual. However, people erasing a bi character's sexuality to call them a lesbian instead is not okay, and it wouldn't be okay the other way around either. It's not "progressive" to insist a bi character can't possibly be bi, they have to be gay. Sayaka shows no sign of comphet, no sign of "just" likely Kyosuke because she feels it's "right". She shows actual, real interest in him and Kyoko, and that doesn't make her "actually a lesbian". She's bisexual. A character being bi isn't some stepping stone to them being "really" gay later on, and it isn't a dirty word to call them bi! It's an identity like any other.

Most fans ignore Kyosuke. This isn't something I think is a major issue, as Sayaka seems to lose interest in him after Rebellion (saying Hitomi deserves better). He's probably not the best guy. But that's not an excuse to erase Sayaka's identity, because she liked a not-so-great dude. A lesbian with a shitty ex isn't suddenly not a lesbian, and a bisexual person with a less than stellar former crush isn't suddenly not bisexual due to it.

Tl;dr:

#pmmm #madoka magica #sayaka miki #sayaka #biphobia tw #bi erasure tw #meta #long post

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oh-my-im-ply · 2 months

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This is another post which isn't completely ply focused, but I want to take a second to point out the overlap between people who are transmisic and people who exclude/invalidate mspec lesbians.

Last week, I made a post where I mentioned being a polysexual lesbian, and I made a few mspec lesbian pride flags. Yesterday, someone asked if I was polysexual or a lesbian.

On this blog, we have rules for interaction, as well as rules for mods to follow. At the very top, we have a rule against exclusion and invalidation towards good faith identities, and a rule against bigotry and dogwhistles. However, we will answer questions when they may have been asked in good faith.

So, I answered with this:

Both. I'm attracted to many genders, but not binary men, so I find that polysexual and lesbian both describe my orientation well. Other people may identify as a polysexual lesbian for other reasons.

After I answered, the mask came off, and they started being transmisogynistic and nonbinary-exclusionary, and weaponized the existence of bimisia against me. I deleted their comments and blocked them last night, so I can't copy what they said word for word, but I will repeat their key notes under the cut.

CW: bi erasure, exorsexism/nonbinary-erasure, transmisogyny, mentions of genitalia

"This is what people mean when they talk about bi erasure. You're erasing bi people."

This is a complete misunderstanding of what bi erasure even means. Bi erasure is when you ignore (the existence of) bi people, or outright deny their existence. These are some examples of bi erasure:

Erasing or ignoring bi history.

Saying that bi people need to just "pick a side."

Saying that bi people are secretly straight/secretly gay.

Saying that bi is just "a transitional orientation" or "a phase."

Redefining the broad definition of bisexuality without the consent of the bi community, especially with the intent of telling people that they "aren't really bisexual" or replacing the bi label.

Saying that "everyone is a little bit bisexual," especially with the intent of erasing bisexuality as a distinct category. This can also be a form of erasure against people who aren't bisexual.

Note that "identifying as something other than bi" is not a form of bi erasure, even if you might "technically" fit the definition... Because that is a matter of personal identity.

But do you know what is a form of bi erasure? Erasing bi history. Mspec lesbians (particularly bi lesbians), have existed for decades. It is not a new identity, and bi women and enbies have a right to identify their attractions to women as lesbian attraction if they wish to. The exclusion of bi people from the lesbian label began as a form of bi erasure. It happened because of separatism and political lesbianism, and an idea that attraction to men "tainted" people, or was a "betrayal" to feminism. It happened because of bimisia.

The word "lesbian" has served as an umbrella term synonymous to "sapphic" for over half a century. You want sources? Here you go.

Miller, Trish. Lavender Woman, Vol. 2, No. 5. Lavender Woman Magazine, 1973. "What is a lesbian? To me, a lesbian is a woman-oriented woman; bisexuals can be lesbians. A lesbian does not have to be exclusively woman-oriented, she does not have to prove herself in bed, she does not have to hate men, she does not have to be sexually active at all times, she does not have to be a radical feminist." Ferguson, Ann. Patriarchy, Sexual Identity, and the Sexual Revolution. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society, 1981. "Lesbian is a woman who has sexual and erotic-emotional ties primarily with women or who sees herself as centrally involved with a community of self-identified lesbians whose sexual and erotic-emotional ties are primarily with women; and who is herself a self-identified lesbian."....."[My definition] defines both bisexual and celibate women as lesbians as long as they identify themselves as such and have their primary emotional identification with a community of self-defined lesbians." Kafele, Dajenya Shoshanna (1991). Bisexual Lesbian. Archived from the original on July 25, 2022. Queen, Carol A.. Strangers at Home: Bisexuals in the queer movement,. 1992. "A great many bisexual women, particularly those who are feminist and lesbian-identified, have felt both personally and politically rejected and judged by the separatist sisters." Kafele, Dajenya Shoshanna. "Which Part of Me Deserves to Be Free?". Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, & Visions. New York : Haworth Press, 1995. ISBN 9781560249504. "Personally, I am unable to separate out the various ways that I am oppressed (as a woman, as an African American, as a bisexual lesbian, as an impoverished single mother) and say that one oppression is worse than the other, or that I desire one form of liberation more than another." Wyeth, Amy. "Don't Assume Anything". Bi Women: The Newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women's Network. Vol. 5, No. 2, 1995. "Unfortunately, many of my experiences as a lesbian-identified bisexual woman have said to me that having an appearance or demeanor that diverges from the expected means I will not be accepted as truly belonging in the lesbian community. Despite my attendance at gay pride parades, dollars spent at gay resorts and in support of gay causes, and numerous attempts to participate in gay and/or lesbian groups and volunteer events, I have often felt unaccepted by this community." Holleb, Morgan Lev Edward. The A-Z of Gender and Sexuality. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2019. ISBN 9781784506636. "LESBIAN — A woman who is sexually or romantically attracted to women. Lesbian can mean women who are attracted exclusively to other women, but it is also a broader term for women and femmes who are attracted to other women and femmes. This includes bisexual and pansexual women, asexual women who are romantically attracted to women, and non-binary people who identify with womanhood." Lesbian. The Trans Language Primer. Archived from the original on October 22, 2021.

Does this mean bi people have to identify as lesbians, or "aren't actually" bi, or can't just identify as bi? Obviously not, and I never said that was the case. That would be bi erasure, because that's policing bi people's identities and forcing them under labels that they may not want to be included under. But in the circumstance that a bi person also identifies as a lesbian, they have every right to do so. Bi-inclusive definitions of lesbianism have existed for at least 51 years, and still exist today.

"Attraction to men, binary or not, means you're not a lesbian."

See above for why the lesbian identity is not always dependent on a lack of attraction to men, binary or not. But lets focus on the nonbinary part specifically:

Nonbinary people can people included in lesbianism and lesbian attraction if they want to be. Yes, that includes all nonbinary genders. Even if attraction to men inherently disqualified a person from lesbianism, nonbinary genders cannot be confined to binary gender rules (even when they're aligned with binary genders) because they're nonbinary. Treating nonbinary genders like they're "functionally the same as binary genders" is a form of nonbinary erasure, regardless of gender alignment.

Whether nonbinary people are included in lesbianism or not is entirely up to each individual nonbinary person regarding their own identity. It is not dependent on the gender label used; it is dependent on how each nonbinary person feels about it on an individual level.

The implication that manhood inherently dominates and erases the rest of a person's identity is also troubling. If you accept that nonbinary people can be included in lesbianism, you must also accept that nonbinary men can be included in lesbianism. A nonbinary man is still nonbinary; their manhood doesn't erase that.

As a pangender lesbian, I've had to deal with the experience of people not only erasing my enbyhood, but my womanhood as well, because they think my manhood is the only relevant aspect of my identity. This is misogynistic and exorsexist, plain and simple, and people use this misogyny/exorsexism to tell me that I'm not a lesbian.

With all of that said, nonbinary people (of any gender alignment) are not always comfortable being included in lesbianism. This is why I describe myself as both polysexual and a lesbian; the polysexual part of my orientation acknowledges that my attraction to enbies can't always be described with my more binary-aligned labels.

And funnily enough, while some people tell me that I can't be a lesbian and can only be polysexual, other people tell me the opposite. So clearly, there isn't a consensus on which label is "correct" for me.

"If it has a dick, you can't be a lesbian."

This is just blatant mask off transmisogyny, and it's the main reason I blocked them. Do I even need to explain what's wrong with this? Even under a strictly monosexual definition of lesbianism, this statement is just false. Being attracted to people with penises does not equal being attracted to men. If a lesbian is exclusively attracted to women, including women with penises, that lesbian is attracted to only one gender and is not bisexual or mspec.

Any gender can have a dick. Lesbians can have dicks. Women can have dicks. The presence of a penis or lack thereof is not a defining trait of lesbianism, nor monosexuality. And for fuck's sake, maybe don't call your hypothetical trans woman "it"??

"Mspec lesbian" does not mean "lesbian who is attracted to vaginas and penises," and if you think that's what it means, you need to educate yourself. Yes, this includes any people who might identify as an mspec lesbian because of that transmisogynistic definition.

This blog is an inclusive space. If you come in here to spew bigoted or exclusionary nonsense, expect to be blocked. Think before you speak, and please read our rules.

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willalove75 · 2 months

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stop simping over women and pay attention to your husband. You clearly made your choice to be with a man and have his child rather than choose a woman. You bisexual women don’t get to exist in lesbian spaces when you lean towards men. Unless your husband lets to you step out on your marriage or lets you have delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man. You bisexual women who lean more towards men or are with men have no right to be in sapphic or lesbian spaces. And lady d is a lesbian so as if she would be with someone who let a man touch them let alone knock them up.

Oh, I'm sorry, did my husband tell you that I'm not giving him enough attention? Didn't think so.

Yes, I made a choice to be with him, because I fell in love with him. Because he's my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything I do (yes, he even supports my writing and fics and he tells me often how proud he is of me). I did not chose him because he's a man. Truthfully, his gender had absolutely nothing to do with why I married him. I just happened to fall in love with and marry a man, but that does NOT make me any less of a bisexual woman.

"You bisexual women..." and people question whether or not bi-erasure is a thing, meanwhile, this entire ask is such a great example of just that😒

"delusional thoughts that any lesbian would want a woman knocked up by a man." is truly offensive to not only every bi woman who has been with a man, but any woman who has. What about the lesbians that got pregnant by men?? Because this may come as a shock to you, but it does happen. It may not happen a lot or often, but it does. Does that mean that those women are "tainted" or "ruined" also??? No it fucking doesn't, you idiot.

It really makes me laugh when people try and use a fictional character to make a real life argument. You want to know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT FUCKING REAL!!! So honestly, you have absolutely no idea if that's true or not because she's a fake fucking character from a video game. Are you also this upset at the fic writers who make her trans??? Or what about fic writers that make Alcina's partner trans??? Or are you just that much of biphobic person and this is the hill you're choosing to die on?? Either way, you're an actual bigot.

This post just SCREAMS biphobia and bi-erasure and it's fucking gross. You are so very obviously projecting your own issues and insecurities in this and honestly I would be embarrassed if I were you. Because not a single thing you said is true AT ALL or holds any merit.

Bisexual women who lean towards men or who are with men ABSOLUTELY do belong in those spaces. Just because a bisexual woman is married/with a man or leans towards men does not discredit or change their sexuality. No bi person automatically becomes straight if they date/marry the opposite gender or become gay/lesbian if they date/marry the same gender. It's called BIsexual. More than one gender. You do not get to invalidate every bi person with this shitty (and inherently wrong) opinion.

I know you wrote this trying to get a rise out of me, and congratulations because you succeeded. But I also know that people like you leave messages like this because they feel so broken and hurt and shitty that they want others to feel like that too. Unfortunately for you, I grew up in the era that birthed anonymous hate messages so you'll have to try harder next time. Not only that, but I am proud and confident in who I am and no pathetic anonymous (especially anonymous, you pussy) message is going to shake me.

I am a proud bisexual woman. I am proud to be married to my husband. I am proud that I will soon be the mother of a little boy who I will raise to be a much better person than you'll ever be. I am proud of what I've written and no, I will not stop.

#willalove75 #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #bi erasure is real #tw #biphobia #bi erasure #fuck outta here with these shitty and wrong opinions #you picked the wrong bitch my guy

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meggie-moo · 10 months

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one of my biggest fic pet peeves is when they make a canon bi character gay, like?? there’s no need, they are already attracted to the same gender? literally what is the point of erasing their bisexuality, when it literally does not change the possibility of your ship happening? 😭 idk, it just does not sit well with me, lol

#tw biphobia #meg’s incoherent thoughts #bisexuality #like i just find it odd because there’s no reason to do it #unless it’s to erasure a character being bisexual #most times i think it’s used to like insinuate that the ship won’t break up because they won’t “miss the other gender”#which is a horrible biphobic stereotype #fandom be normal about bisexuality challenge #also i’m not talking about like a popular hc and then someone going against that i’m talking about characters who have stated they are bi #in the media they are in and it being completely erased in fics #sorry this was a rant lol

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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months

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For context,they're talking to my 16 year old brother on his anti Zutara post.Yes,the ship from the Nickelodeon cartoon.No,their blog isn't literally anything but Z/K and Kataang hate.Yes,they're one of those people i talked about who only accept Jetara as a side dish to Zutara

@lphoenixspiritl Since tumblr refuses to let me talk back to your overgrown ass🙄

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gnometa233 · 6 months

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It's so interesting when people say "mspec lesbians have a long and complicated history" and then you actually research said long and complicated history and it's all just biphobia. That's it. It's just people thinking person dating opposite gender = straight and person dating same gender = gay. It's the most straightforward bi erasure I've ever seen and I REMEMBER even in the early days of tumblr bisexuals fought against people reducing their sexuality down to just gay and straight. And now while people are clamoring to be bi lesbians, I see no one vying to reclaim "bihet", which is just the same thing in another direction. Really makes you think

#same goes for trans man lesbian and trans women gay men btw #its all trans erasure #tw lesbophobia #tw biphobia #anti bi lesbian #queer discourse

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bucksangel · 6 months

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this was in the bio of someone’s tinder account that i just swiped left on. please tell me biphobia doesn’t exist.

#also just bc i’m not bi anymore doesn’t mean i’ll stop fighting to end the erasure #like it’s not ‘playing for both teams’#it’s more like ‘i’m benched on both teams’#the erasure is STRONG #lgbtq+#lgbtq+ pride #bi pride #tw biphobia #𓆩♡𓆪 angel's thoughts 𓆩♡𓆪

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hayleyclaire-taylorsversion · 4 months

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After I posted my last post, one of my best friends that lives in my building gave me this shirt. She happened to be out shopping and she saw it. Coincidence? Nah. No coincidences. My friend who bought the shirt was there when I was subjected to the shit from last night I was talking about in my last post, so the fact that this happened is even more special. I will always stick up for the existence of LGBTQ Christians. They exist.

EDIT: have beliefs derived from Buddhism, Christianity, and even LaVeyan Satanism, all jumbled together. So I personally don't identify as a Christian, but last night I had to hear psychobabble hate speech erasing the existence of LGBTQ Christians, and I won't tolerate it.

EDIT 2: had to do the heart hands to throw some Swiftie shit in there too 🫶🏼

EDIT 3: yes, I realize I went overboard with the tags. I even reached character limit. I have no shame. And one last thing, yes, I do understand that I am talking to myself and my ONE(1) follower due to being a Nobody on this site, however I am 1000% going to continue rambling and that's that.

EDIT 4: okay for real one last thing, I ran a 3k follower, highly active D-R-U-G blog in 2019-2021 (maybe it was only 2019-2020 IDK my brain is permafried from all the D-R-U-G-S) so yeah, just know that I was important at one point in this lifetime 😬🙃

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hoolay-boobs · 5 months

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“Glimmer is a lesbian” “Mermista is a lesbian” “Glimmer only liked Bow as a friend” “Entrapta is a lesbian” “Mermista doesn’t like Sea Hawk; she’s always annoyed with him” “Entrapdak isn’t canon” “Nate ‘confirmed’ Perfuma is a lesbian via liking a Twitter post” stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it sto-

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lesbianclaryfray · 4 days

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“actually ivy is CANON BISEXUAL in main continuity” and the “source” is 2 completely different continuities, a screenrant article citing a source that does not exist, and her “relationship” with her groomer

#bivy truthers i love u and i love bivy this isn’t about u 💗💗💗#annoying asses who call it bi erasure & harass lesbians & try to start infighting…start running #abuse mention tw #discourse for ts #'she's shown interest in men' and the interest in question is just her being objectified as the sexy femme fatale archetype #and manipulating and killing men #and i'm not saying that stuff CAN'T be proof or that a bi character can't have done and experienced the exact same things as her #but it's not proof enough to make it unmistakably canon #esp not to the point where u have to bother a lesbian about it #vice versa as well obv #also bc i'm paranoid about being misunderstood the fake sources references in this post are #1: interviews about thorns (graphic novel) and the hqtas (ivy's bi in both) (and we love that for her)#2: the claim that connor and palmiotti established her as bi when they confirmed harlivy (they did not lol)#and 3: woodrue taking advantage of her (the ickiness of which varies depending on the continuity) (but he's often depicted as her abuser)

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littletissueghosts · 2 months

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"Chidi and Eleanor are my favorite straight ship."

"Eleanor and Chidi go in the heterosexual hall of fame."

"omg this is the only straight dynamic I like: Eleanor x Chidi."

I don't know what version of The Good Place y'all watched with a straight Eleanor, but it definitely wasn't the one I saw. 😭

#tw biphobia #bi erasure #mspec erasure #<- I know she's not explicitly confirmed to use bi as opposed to pan or omni but I don't know any other terms to describe what this is #because this... uh definitely feels like erasure to me :/

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uglyduchessrantsandcomments · 2 years

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It is 2022 and I still have to listen to rancid takes about how bi people in relationships with a different gender don't belong in queer spaces. What's the logic? Are they no longer queer? Are they no longer allowed to discuss their experience with other people who've been through the same things? Who see the world through similar lenses?

Do people really feel threatened by them? Are we going to check everyone's sexual and romantic history before they even think of stepping into a queer space? Are straight transgender people not allowed in either? Is the point of these spaces just to find partners with the same gender as yours? Isn't that an extremely narrow definition of queerness?

I'm bi, and I've only recently realised that I'm nonbinary, but I still look like a woman. Is my relationship with my partner, a bisexual man, considered straight?

My point being: isn't this kind of gatekeeping exactly what we hate about straight culture? We've lived through so much just because we don't fit into these narrow definitions of what relationships and sexuality should be. And for what? To create more tiny boxes to force people into?

If you're so quick to push people out of these spaces, out of what you think queerness is, I ask you to seriously question why you're so ready to exclude other people who're just slightly different from you. To ask yourself why your ideal of purity is more important than the acceptance of others. Because if that's the way you view the world, I'm sorry to tell you that you're not any cleverer than the bigots from whom we're trying to protect ourselves.

#bisexuality #biphobia #tw: biphobia #bi erasure #lgbt #gatekeeping #purity culture #queer spaces #rant #sorry for the long post #and sorry for the angry rant

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floofysmallbob · 2 months

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I’m too lazy to write fic but mineta sucks ass and I think all fic that doesn’t involve beating him up, having him be a major antagonist, or forcing him into redemption shouldn’t include him at all so here are some mineta replacement ideas because I’m tired of seeing Shinsou replace him, Shinsou being in gen ed is important to his character.

add an oc

add a background character

kick someone out of class b so there are only 19 students per class

yoarashi inasa(preferably put him in class b and put a b student in class a so the whole “fuck endeavor you’re just like him” “no fuck you he sucks ass” arc is still delayed a bit)

toga himiko(I’m a sucker for a villain rehab or just a crazy bitch who still does good)(also preferably put her in class b bc Vlad would be a better teacher with her quirk)

legit just replace him with someone with the exact same quirk that doesn’t harass people for entertainment

swap him with a class b student and give him zero screen time(this is the worst option bc he still exists)

swap him with a class b student and add someone else to class b

swap him with a student from a different school(yes I know all of them minus Yoarashi are second years but shush)

have Aizawa expel him the second he walks in

add a character from canon content that isn’t the main manga/anime

add a character from a different fandom that you like or a character based on them

replace him with a character that only got in via loopholes (ex. Hatsume passed the exam by figuring out how to manually shut off the robots)

replace him with an aged down/up character

kill him off the second he walks in

hopefully these suffice

#fuck mineta #why does the canon bi character have to be him #I hate bi erasure with all my heart but just this once I’ll condone it #mineta replacements #kill mineta #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #please dont include mineta in fics #tw: mineta #replace mineta #I will legitimately replace him with anyone just to get him out #mineta is the real villain of mha #he doesn’t even have a tragic backstory or reasoning like the league members #or actual evil or corrupt ideals #he’s an idolized harasser #he’s an asshole just because #and not in a good way

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