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#but so sad about the rest of the month tbh
switchytransboy · 5 months
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december sucks for me this year yo
i couldn’t make it down south with my parents to be there to meet my new niece and nephew after being born, but it’s for the best anyway bc i tested positive for covid due to a coworker not giving a fuck about others catching it, and i’d feel WORSE if i was with the newborn twins while i had covid
so bc i couldn’t travel down there, im alone in my house for like 2 weeks, then the day my parents come home is the same day i leave my house to go be alone at another house to dogsit
halo is busy with family things the majority of this month so can’t hang as much, and now me having covid soiled plans of spending this weekend together 🙃
so i’m just.. alone. for weeks. away from my family where i’m constantly wishing i could be bc i feel so left out and sad, alone for most of hanukkah, alone for xmas, alone for it all.
just sucks
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bluesidedown · 6 months
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#this just in: moving to another continent to live and work with complete strangers for six months#incredibly distant from every important person in your life and your supportive community#is in fact. incredibly difficult.#like idk it's hard to describe because it's also been amazingly cool and i'm so thankful i get to do this#and like i can see God's hand in so many things that have happened and are happening#and He's providing what i need in such amazing ways#but also i'm exhausted and really really homesick#and i miss my people#and i miss going to chapel at school#and honestly just attending church in a language i understand#and rn i'm dealing with a crisis at least every day about what i'm going to do with the rest of my life#and long distance dating is really hard and need i reiterate i am exhausted and when i get tired and sad i self isolate. which is unhelpful#and generally i'm in that weird state of being where i genuinely have no clue how to persevere and i feel deeply deeply out of my depth#and also God is just. so present.#tbh i'm terrified that the rest of my life is just going to be Like This#and i'm also terrified that the rest of my life is not going to be Like This#because the last 5ish years have been Like This to varying degrees and i've learned and grown so much and i've come to know God so much mor#but i'm so tired.#and i'm tired of getting up every day and dealing with things that are scary.#but i'm scared of a life where i don't because i'm most scared of stagnating#anyway wow congrats if you made it this far into my venting#on the bright side yesterday i experienced one of the weirder (in a good way) social situations i've ever been in#walked into my language learning partner's mother-in-law's house (who i'd never met before) at 10pm and was instantly given two plates#of beautiful homemade (culturally appropriate dumplings) and a cup of tea#and proceeded to stay for 40min listening to a conversation where i understood about 3 words out of every 50#couldn't have experiences like that if i stayed in my comfort zone could i
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It's either coming up to my period again OR I've just developed a disease where I get misty eyed at even the most banal sequences and scenes in ghibli movies. I was crying during the early parts of ponyo
#ramblings of a lunatic#ponyo is not a very emotional movie i just kept being like#OUGHHH LITTLE BABY...LITTLE BABY HAS TO TAKE CARE OF HIS MOM WHILE HIS DAD IS AWAY AT SEA...OUGH LITTLE FISH GIRL#nothing as bad as when i was crying during every scene in kikis delivery service tho lmao#i still haven't seen very many ghibli movies but they're all pretty wonderful#i had another art exam today so i think I'm gonna chill for the rest of the night now that's i watched the cute fish movie#I'll watch something new soon (i am eyeing that movie ever after 👁️👁️ sorry i still can't kick the fairytale spinterest revival rn)#but until then I'm gonna have fun#be silly hehe#I'm also at a weird place with my toh hyperfix where like. i went through intense pre-grief (is that?? what it's called)#like. near the beginning of the month#just being so so sad about it ending and the inevitable fandom dwindle that'll come with that (OBJECTIVE WORST PART!!!)#but that pre-grief was so intense that now I'm at a weird place of peace with it#once the shows over I'll probably start being able to actually like. watch and read other things now hsbdjdhfk#but i imagine it'll stay my main interest (to u guys. I'm more complex irl) for a good while (i wanna make more art i wanna try writing!!!)#just with other stuff spliced in as it comes (i wanna get back on reading sailor moon. maybe check in on deltarune again)#(TRY and get back into tlt again. hell maybe I'll check in on comics again! who knows)#but tbh as long as i find toh on my dash i doubt I'll ever really leave it behind lol#again- a relatively positive fandom experience plus a deep connection with the work is a recipe for me being Not Normal forever#I'm. making less sense as this goes on#anyway. you get it! I'm a big cry baby but also I'm at a state of peace for the moment. yeehaw
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fayes-fics · 1 year
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Second Son
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: The second son is, for once, the first choice...
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Warnings: none really... mild angst, family dynamics, love at first sight.
Word Count: 2.9k
Authors Note: Request fill for anon here, about Benedict being the second choice for everything.... until his love turns up. Thanks for this request; I hope this is angsty enough for you anon. Im not sure about it tbh. Sorry that it's taken more than three months to get to it on my WIP list. Unbetaed. Enjoy <3
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Benedict Bridgerton was born into privilege and can have few complaints. Except perhaps that he is always second. The spare. The just-in-case option. Being a familial insurance policy lends one more freedom than the burden of being the titled first son, perhaps, but it also feels like your whole existence, in some respects, can seem like a contingency plan.
____
His stomach swoops with excitement as the arrow pierces the target dead on the bullseye. And on his first ever archery lesson, just after his twelfth birthday.
He turns around to see if anyone is there to witness his triumph, but it goes unmarked. All his young siblings gathered around Anthony, patting him on the back for his achievements in doing the same moments before. Being a good shot is an essential skill for the next Viscount indeed. The fact that he has been receiving instruction for months already and this is Benedict’s first lesson hurts a little.
But he doesn't bother to bring attention to his arguably more impressive feat. It seems pointless now. Wordlessly he shrugs and walks towards the target, plucking out his arrow and starting again. Perhaps next time, they will notice.
____
“Is that the new Viscount Bridgerton?” Benedict hears a young girl murmur as he sweeps into the first societal event of the season, the spring following his father's death. 
“Oh no, my dear, sadly not; I believe that is one of the brothers,” her mother replies, acting as if he has no sense of hearing, even trying to ignore it as he is, surveying the crowd.
“Such a shame,” the young girl huffs, “he is so very handsome.”
“Yes, dear, but sadly not titled. We can do better,” her mother chides, moving them along out of earshot.
He will never get over how cutthroat the Ton can be, a part of his tender seventeen-year-old heart sinking. Not that he had a potential interest in that girl, more the principle that he will somehow be rendered as an also-ran, at best a consolation prize, for the rest of his life.
What is most galling, perhaps, is that, when his mother needs their presence the most on a night like tonight, the new VIscount is nowhere to be seen. Has not even bothered to show his face, running off to some spurious gambling den and brothel, spending the night indulging himself rather than facing society. 
So here Benedict is, stepping up to play the dutiful son that his elder brother should be. Being the support their mother so desperately needs at her first event as a widow, her arm looped heavily through his, her whole bodyweight seeming to use him as her literal pillar of support. As he escorts her around the room, he is filled with admiration at her brave face. He can see the overwhelming sadness in her eyes every time the word dowager is invoked, and his heart cracks a little at the loneliness he can feel emanating from his mother’s very soul. 
“Tis a shame the Viscount did not deign the first event of the season worthy of his patronage,” she states pointedly as she sips champagne.
“I am sure he has very good reasons for his absence,” Benedict replies soothingly, covering for his errant brother, attempting to shield their mother from the truth of his philandering ways. Benedict knows it is Anthony’s way of dealing with the responsibility of the title of Viscount being thrust upon him so young. But sometimes, just sometimes, Benedict wishes he could escape his grief in such a manner, Anthony taking his turn attending a stuffy ball and playing guardian to a grieving woman. Their burdens may be different, but the wish to escape them is often not, Benedict realises.
____
She catches his eye at a garden party at Aubrey Hall. She is a pretty young lady, maybe eighteen to his twenty-three, with bright eyes and a sweet, happy face. She makes his palms slightly sweaty. He watches her from a distance, uncertain how to approach or what to say, feeling a little tongue-tied, even. 
Just then, Anthony materialises at his shoulder.
“Who is that pretty young thing?” Anthony asks, tracing Benedict’s line of sight.
“Miss Bradstreet,” he replies, watching as she turns to face the sun, closing her eyes, basking in its warmth. The light captures her cheekbones perfectly, and he itches to have his sketchbook and capture her likeness. He would very much like to get to know her better.
“Let's go provide a warm welcome,” Anthony smirks, clapping a hand on Benedict’s shoulder and practically dragging him across the lawn.
Benedict reluctantly follows, a flutter of excitement as her eyes land upon them as they approach. 
“Miss Bradstreet,” Anthony swaggers. “Viscount Bridgerton at your service; I am so very pleased to be your host today,” he bows.
Benedict's stomach plunges as he watches her practically melt into the lawn right there, virtually swooning at Anthony’s feet.
“Oh, and this is my brother, Benedict,” Anthony adds, almost as an afterthought. 
She flicks her head to the side briefly to politely acknowledge Benedict before returning to Anthony. All of her undivided adoring attention on him as he regales the story of his latest hunting triumphs upon her insistence. Benedict heaves a sigh and watches as yet another young lady he likes chooses his brother over him. He is almost used to it now, but it doesn't stop the sting every time.
____
Your world grinds to a halt as you see him. He is descending the stairs with what you assume is the rest of his family. He is very much in the middle of a tight circle, walking behind what appears to be his mother and perhaps older brother. Quite the most beautiful man you have ever seen, your heart pounding in your ears, your throat suddenly dry despite the lemonade in your hand. You assume they must be the hosts, seeing as they are the very last to enter the ballroom here at Bridgerton House, and there is no announcement of their name.
“Who is that?” you whisper, leaning towards your elder sister. She has been out among society for a year and knows the Ton better than you.
“That is the Bridgerton family, of course,” she replies. “Illustrious in the extreme. Our hosts for this evening. The Viscount there is the most eligible bachelor of every season… and every season, he has resisted a match. So I wouldn't bother if I were you,” she sniffs.
“Which is the Viscount?” you check, your eyes unable to leave the beautiful man with a cravat tied in the most unconventional fashion.
“The one with his arm looped with their mother, the dowager Viscountess, naturally,” your sister rolls her eyes as if patently obvious.
“And what of the others?” you inquire keenly, realising the man you admire cannot be the one your sister is referring to. “Do you know their names?”
“I do not,” she admits, “such things are not really important when one is looking for a titled husband,” she points out airily. 
You nod, knowing the responsibility your sister must carry as firstborn to find a suitable match that can provide for your widowed mother and, indeed, perhaps yourself and your younger sister should neither of you be able to find a husband. You don’t envy her position one little bit. 
You are, however, desperate to get closer to the most beautiful man you have ever seen. And so you spend your evening working towards them, in as polite of a fashion as you can, your stomach in knots of excitement to know him.
“Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton, it is an honour and a pleasure to meet you,” you curtsy, heart pounding as he now stands a few feet away, unable to look at him so close by.
“Hello, my dear and you are?” she asks politely.
“Miss y/n y/l/n, it is my very first season; I am so honoured to be here,” you explain. “I must provide the apologies of my mother, Mrs y/l/n, who could not attend tonight due to a cold, but she is so very thankful for the invitation.”
“Oh, of course,” the viscountess smiles. “I am so sorry to hear of her illness; please pass on my best regards… Anthony!” she turns to her side to grab the attention of a man. The viscount’s head whips around from where he is in discussion with another. “Come meet Miss y/l/n,” she needles pointedly. “Miss y/l/n, this is the Viscount Anthony Brdgerton, and he is so pleased not only to make your acquaintance but also for your presence here tonight,” she welcomes on his behalf, and you do not miss the subtle nudge in the ribs she gives him.
Then his regard is drawn to you. He is handsome certainly, and you appreciate his polite but absent-minded greeting. His attentions are obviously elsewhere, but then you cannot fault him as yours are the same. Your gaze strays over his shoulder to the man who first captures your attention. And your breath is stolen by how his hazy blue eyes stare intently at you.
____
Benedict is twenty-six years old when he is struck by lightning. Not literally. But that is the sensation that runs through his body when he first lays eyes on you—politely introducing yourself to his mother and thanking her for your invitation to this ball. 
He thought he knew what attraction was until this point. He thought he knew the depths to which one could fall in love in an instant. He was an utter fool. He looks at you, and at once, everything is so quiet and loud all at once. He is desperate to know you in a way he has never felt. To grab your hand, take you somewhere, and ask you a million questions to get to know your soul. He also wants to kiss you so much that his lips tingle. And inside, his lungs want to scream as his mother does the natural thing and introduces the beautiful, polite young lady to her most eligible son… Anthony. 
Then his heart jolts as your eyes stray from Anthony and meets his, your pupils dilating in a way that makes his lungs too small to inhale air. It is the first and only time a young woman has had Anthony’s full attention and has looked away from it. And to him, no less. The tidal flood of chemicals in his system makes it feel like he is vibrating in his very shoes.
____
You try your best to be polite and look at Anthony as he speaks, but your sight is drawn to this other man like a moth to a flame. From appearance, the second son, as you are the second daughter. A flare of understanding and sympathy in your chest as to how that is. You want to grab his hand and run away with him.
“My lord,” you find your voice and snap your eyes back to the Viscount, “would you do me the honour of introducing me to the rest of your wonderful family?” your ask, almost timid.
He looks temporarily taken aback, as if mystified why anyone in the Ton would care about the status of anyone beyond his mother and himself. You smile at him expectantly and do not miss, from the corner of your eye, how the beautiful man’s face is awash with surprise at your request.
“Oh, most certainly,” Anthony seems to snap out of his temporary stupor and turns to introduce his siblings in attendance. A tall, baby-faced young man stands to attention as Anthony moves from left to right. “This is Colin; he has just returned from his travels in Greece,” you nod and smile politely, knowing nothing of the subject. “And this is my sister, Eloise; it is her first season, and she is not in the slightest bit happy about that,” he adds dryly, and you can't help but giggle and feel a kinship with the spirited young lady who returns your wry smile. “My eldest sister, the Duchess of Hastings, who is visiting us,”
You curtsy and bow your head. “It is an honour, your Grace,” you add, and she smiles sweetly at you, her arm looped in her mother's.
“Obviously, you have met my mother,” he continues, and suddenly he is the last in the line. You feel your palms clench, sweaty in anticipation of learning his name “... and this is my brother, Benedict; he hopes to be an artist.”
You are finally brave enough to meet his eyes again. He is so achingly beautiful that the rest of his family, indeed the whole ballroom, melt away from your view—he is all you can see.
“Oh, I adore art,” you stutter, mesmerised, offering your hand to him, the first and only person in the family you do so to. Unseen by you, your gaze only on one man, Anthony’s mouth drops open in surprise.
Nothing can prepare you for when Benedict’s gloved hand gently touches yours, him bowing to kiss the back of your hand. You catch a woody citrus scent that makes your mouth water as he does so. And then you feel the warmth of his lips through your glove, and you are utterly undone.
“Miss y/l/n,” he rumbles quietly, the sound making your insides melt even more; it's deep and resonant and makes every inch of your body tingle.
“Please call me y/n,” you murmur, moving closer, knowing how scandalous that might be, but seemingly unable to stop yourself. He has a hypnotic hold over you that you don't want to fight.
“Only if you shall call me Benedict,” he breathes, and it takes Anthony clearing his throat to make you spring apart, suddenly remembering where you are.
____
His lips touch the silk of your glove, and he is gone. 
Already planning a future, his mind supplying images of you at his cottage out in the country, the lady of the house. Tending to the herb garden, reading happily curled up in front of the fire in the drawing room, fearlessly plucking a bow as you stand in front of joint archery targets gently teasing him for losing to a girl, and finally, the image that truly knocks the wind out of him, you naked under him, desperately moaning his name as you move together, entwined in ecstasy.
He hears your sharp inhale, and his heart skips at the idea you feel it too. That you are the first woman ever that sees him and not Anthony. Really sees him. Not as the second son. Not as a consolation prize. 
And when your body seems to sway towards him, he is already mentally asking his mother for a betrothal ring from her grandmother, which she said she is keeping just for him.
____
“Benedict,” his name feels wonderful in your mouth, like a gift from the heavens. “Please, may we take a turn around the gardens?” you implore, the boldest you have ever been in your whole life. 
“It would be my very greatest pleasure,” he responds.
And you know with absolute certainty you have met your husband, the father of your children, your very future. 
____
“It is not as if this is my show….” he sighs.
“You should not do that, darling,” you say affectionately, ruffling his hair as you move to fix his cravat; it definitely needs to be more jaunty, in your opinion.
“Do what?” he breathes, his wedding ring catching the light as he places his hands gently over yours and stills your motions.
“Think of yourself as second,” you argue, running your hand over his cheek. “This gallery opening may feature others' work too, but you are the star of the exhibit,” you reassure, tilting his forehead down so it rests upon yours.
There it is again. That look that always floors you. Even now, a year later. Like you are the most wondrous creature, and he can scarcely believe you are his.
“Never forget, you will always be first to me,” you utter fiercely, watching his eyes soften with devotion. “And not just me….” you guide his sizeable warm hand onto the swell of your belly, “to us. We love you so much, Benedict,” your tone is ardent, wanting him to believe he deserves this recognition, that he should believe in himself the way that you do.
“I love you, too,” he responds quietly, reverentially. “So very much. Both of you are my whole world,” his voice choked with emotion, and you throw your arms around him and squeeze hard, wanting to telegraph just how much he is the very centre of your universe.
An hour later, you clutch your hands over your chest as you watch him being brought onto the raised stage and introduced to the crowd as they applaud him and his work rapturously, awaiting to hear him talk of his art. As he does so, you stroke your belly unseen under your cloak, beaming with pride for your wonderful husband.
____
He sees your face in the crowd, and as ever, it calms him, especially at this landmark moment. So as he finishes the speech that he has rehearsed for days now, he decides to do something perhaps unconventional but something he seems unable to resist.
“Lastly, before I allow you back to your champagne,” he jests, finally at ease with the attention and recognition. “I want to thank my life’s inspiration, the very reason I stand before you today. My wonderful wife. Thank you, my love, for being the light of my life; for always making this second son your first choice. You will always, always be my first choice. I love you.” 
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Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @mlovesbridgerton @m-rae23 @last-sheep
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nejiverse · 8 months
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FORGETFULNESS
Gojo Satoru
In which Gojo’s forgetfulness earns him the silent treatment from his two girls. Fem! Reader
cw: none and omg its been like a month since ive written anything im shocked tbh lol i’ll try to get through requests! Not proofread
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600 words
You could hear your husband sigh loudly and dramatically even though he wasn't in the same room as you.
You rolled your eyes and couldn't stop the smile creeping up to your lips as you ran a hand through your daughter's hair, opting to do two pigtails for her as per her request.
Another sigh came from Gojo's lips but this time it sounded closer. You looked at his reflection through the bathroom mirror and were met with the man child peeping through the gap between the door and door frame with a pout on his face.
Your daughter— who was sat comfortably on the counter near the sink— made eye contact with her father but quickly closed her eyes and folded her arms with an even more dramatic huff (like father like daughter).
"D/n please! I said i'm sorry! I promise i'll never ever do it again!", Gojo wailed.
His daughter who was refusing to talk to him, pointed an accusing finger at him through the mirror. "Leave me alone papa!".
"It was one birthday! I always remember the rest of their birthdays!", he lied. He didn't remember a single one of his daughter's stuffed animal's birthdays, there was just so many. It’s what he gets for buying her another one every week. He set reminders on his phone to make sure he never forgets....but this time…he forgot.
It's not his fault, he’s a busy guy!
"Forgive me d/nnnnn!", he pleaded whilst clasping his hands together.
The little girl covered her ears with her hands cutely and closed her eyes, mumbling a string of 'lala's'. "I can't hear papa!".
You chuckled at her antics. "I can't seem to hear papa either", you quipped.
Gojo felt the betrayal deep within his soul. His two favourite girls were giving him the silent treatment.
"Not you too!", he looked at you with a frown. If Gojo were a dog, his ears would definitely be droopy right now.
Jokes on you guys, he came prepared.
"Aw, I guess i'll have to eat this cake aaaaaall by myself", he faked a sad expression and spun the cake around, giving you two a full glimpse of the delicious dessert.
You wouldn't put it past him either, he would definitely finish the whole cake by himself.
"Maybe I can hear papa a little bit", the little girl couldn't help the endearing smile tugging at the sides of her lips.
You shook your head at Gojo's little bribery trick as you placed two pink bows onto her hair.
"Only a little bit?", he tilted his head.
"A lot bit!", she giggled and extended her arms out to Gojo who gladly carried her in one hand and held the cake in the other.
Gojo looked at you as you leaned back against the counter.
"And what about you?".
"Toru, half of the time I hear you before I'm able to see you, and that’s not a compliment".
He scrunched up his face. "You could've said something cute like I always hear you Toru, I love you!".
"Yuck", you grimaced jokingly.
"Yuck!", the little girl spat her tongue despite not knowing exactly what was going on.
masterlist :)
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c0llisiion · 5 months
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NUMB TO THE FEELING — j.jk
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♡pairing : jjk + fem!reader
♡: not proof read, exs, idol!jungkook x idol!reader , fwb kinda? , smut , mutual masturbation - lmk if i missed any!
W/C : 1,162
Pt.2 , Pt.3
A/N : SORRY 4 DISAPPEARING AGAINNNNN! i js got too busy guys 😣😣😣😣 rqs are open! Send in your rqs and prompts ily <33 anyways here is a jk fic i wrote instead of finishing my other jk fic :3
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ MDNI. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
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2 months. Its been 2 months since you broke it off with jungkook. It was all over the news, a hot topic for the k media. ‘BTS’s Jungkook and Y/G/N’s y/n ends 4 year relationship’, was still trending on naver. It happened so quickly. Knets are already placing the blame on you for the breakup, as they view you as a mean rebel idol who breaks hearts and messes around. A face of disgust was plastered on your face as you scroll through the endless amounts of hate comments knets put under the articles.
“Wow I always knew she was a bitch”
“She definitely cheated on him with another idol lol”
“What do you expect when you date a wh*re? Jungkook should have never dated her”
“She ruined his image”
Back and forth, people were calling you degrading names and putting Jungkook in a good light. They said all of this while not knowing a single thing about how your breakup unfolded. It was mutual. You both started getting busy with schedules. That simple. Maybe a few disagreements here and there. Maybe a few trust issues but the main point was it was mutual and you both broke up because of schedules. You got tired of the same comments and decided to turn off your phone but you got a new notification.
baby star candy 🤍
Hey
Tf is he doing at this hour?
Y/n
???
baby star candy 🤍
Is it okay if i come over?
Classic jungkook. Getting straight to the point. You stared at the text for a while not realising that you were leaving him on seen.
My baby star candy 🤍
Helloooooo?????
Its fine if you dont want me to
Y/n
Yes. Quick.
You sent your reply before his second text got to properly load. And there you were. Your phone turned off, biting your nails as you waited for jungkook.
It didn't take him a lot of time. Reaching your place in under 7 minutes and 13 seconds. You heard your doorbell and you immediately rushed to the door. You stood at the door for some time, avoiding the impression that you were eagerly anticipating his arrival.
You opened the door and see the tall bulky black haired man with his calvin klein hoodie and grey shorts. You stared at him before he brought you back to reality by snapping his fingers. You let him in before locking the door. You grabbed him by his wrists and took him upstairs to your room.
He quickly settled in your bed letting out a deep sigh, Relaxing and stretching his limbs out onto the bed. His arm was tucked behind his head as he patted the empty space next to him with half lidded eyes. You rolled your eyes before snuggling with him. Your tv was on and playing a random tv show you put almost an hour ago, forgetting to it turn off. You sighed and relaxed into his arm. The silence was comfortable. Jungkook was playing with the hems of shorts and you with the drawstrings of his shorts. You knew where this would lead to.
His hands started slowly massaging your thighs and ass in a comforting way. Its like he knew you were sad. And he did. “Im sorry” he spoke up. You looked up at him. His eyes were focused on the tv infront. “Im sorry about those comments. I should have said somethin’.” He said finally looking down at you. You shook your head and nuzzled into him closer “dont be. Its not your fault. Tbh i really dont gaf.” He chuckled at your attitude. He always liked your idgaf attitude. That’s what made him ask you out. “So you are not sad?” He asked his hands trailing up your shirt, cold fingers resting under your tits. “Hmm i was but then there is no reason for me to be. Maybe we should upload one of our sextapes to show those bitchy knets and completely appall them..” you giggled thinking about their reaction. Jungkook sighed and chuckled. “Yeah? Which one? Our old ones or the one we are gonna make rn?” His cold fingers squeezed your bare tits and tugged on your hard nipples. You hissed at the feeling. He grabbed your hand using his other hand and started using yours to rub himself through his shorts. He let out a soft groan throwing his head back. You bit your lip as you felt his hand lower into your shorts, quickly taking your sensitive bud in between his fingers, tugging it gently. You gasped and held onto his wrists as he continued abusing your bud. He was growing harder and harder because of your hands and the unholy sounds you let out every time he flicked your clit. You put your hands into his shorts and wrapped your fingers around his dick. Your movements were restricted by his shorts which opted you to pull his dick completely out. You stared at it. Oh how much you missed that monster. “Quit staring baby..” you felt yourself melt as he inserts two fingers into your sopping hole. A loud squelch was heard when he started fingering you. Your hands lazily worked up and down his shaft. Small spurts of precum already leaking out of his red tip. You picked up your pace and so did he. You twisted your wrists around his tip. You knew how sensitive he was there and continued. His eyes were squeezed shut as soft moans left his mouth. He started choking on them as he felt your hands squeeze around his length. God the way you had this man under your control with Just your hands was insane. He was quick to return the favour as two more fingers were added. His thumb rested on your clit rubbing it in circles furiously as he fucked your cunt with his long fingers. Loud noises accompanied by yours and his moans were the only sounds heard in the room. Your vision went white as you finally reached your end. Squirting all over his hands and wetting your shorts as well as your sheets. You let out choked out moans and your back arched off of the bed.
“Attagirl…” jungkook said with furrowed eyebrows as he kept finger fucking you. Your hand movements got sloppy which prompted jungkook to thrust into your hands. You picked up pace which made jungkook stiffen. You knew his orgasm was close from the his facial expressions and his voice. You stared at his face as you watch your ex boyfriend come undone under your grasp. He let out a final gasp before cumming all over your hands. You slowed down your movements finally letting go of his softening cock before bringing your fingers to your mouth, licking all his salty cum clean, staring deeply into his brown eyes.
Only you had him like this. No other woman will never come to your level ever.
A/n : HEHEHE sex tape part 2? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 ALSO SORRY FOR THE USAGE OF BABY STAR CANDYAJJEKAJWJA I JS HAD TOOOOOO
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sleekista · 3 months
Text
tears streaming down your face
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barça femeni x reader, lena oberdorf x reader
request: here
A/N: please tumblr gods, stop giving me sicknesses i write about in sickfics. i am TIRED.
also the the requester i changed it a lil bit - hope it makes you happy (do not ask how this would work, this is fiction. this does not make sense in any reality tbh)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As soon as you go down, you know what it is. The worst injury any footballer could imagine. Then, out of nowhere Lena Oberdorf (the defender marking you) can’t seem slow down and when she tries she trips over your good leg. Groaning as her knee hits the ground with a pop. Similar to yours.
Your faces are near each other, both silently empathising with each other when a rush of blaugrana swarms the area. Alexia sensing what your injury could be already.
“Is it?” She doesn’t want to say it, nobody ever wants to hear those letters.
“I think so, Ale I don’t want this please.” You sob, climbing into her lap.
“I know, I know. Deep breathes, you’ll get through this.” You do as told then you hear commotion to the right of you where Lena lays. You listen to the accented angry voices of Claudia and Patri.
“Ay, stop being dramatic. You literally tripped over her now you’re pretending to be hurt? Estúpida.”
“You are telling me you could not stop? Lies.”
As you’re about to tell them to stop, Wolfsburg players have shoved the spaniards away from their hurt teammate. Alex does the same with Lena as Alexia does to you.
Players around and above you are shoving each other and in your opinion it’s all too much. You’re overstimulated, in pain and all you want to do is cry. It seems Alexia notices this.
“Aye, Barça why don’t you be responsible and leave so that both medical teams can come over and do what’s needed for the players.” Her voice is her stern and the German captain agrees telling off her players as well.
When the crowd has gone, medical teams swarm and do the necessary on field tests, both ultimately asking for stretchers. Not a good sign.
You send a small sad smile to Obi, an understanding between you two. No bad blood or anything.
You part ways into seperate areas and get given the rundown. They suspect it’s the ACL, but scans will be needed to determine how bad it is and what type of surgery needs to be done.
You’re deflated, 9-10 months of recovery sounds horrific. They give you crutches, and put ice on your knee allowing you to watch the rest of the match in the stands. When you make it out, the young German is there as well, looking equally as tired.
“So, the three letters?” You ask, focusing on the match.
“Yeah, you?” You nod, sighing.
“It’s all apart of the game, it sucks that we have to miss so much though.”
“Yeah, it really does. Also before I forget, sorry. I didn’t mean to trip over you.”
“Hey, I know you didn’t. Maybe after our surgeries we could meet up sometime.” She stares at you.
“Would you come to Germany?”
“I’ve always loved Germany, it’s so nice there. So yes, I would.” Her eyes light up.
“So this hangout… is it like- a date orrr.” You laugh at her nervousness.
“Do you want it to be?”
“Yes.”
“Then it is, probably shouldn’t tell the teammates about this though. Not just yet, after nearly giving you another injury themselves.” You smile sadly at her, feeling guilty for your friends actions.
“Yeah, if I wasn’t in so much pain I probably would’ve yelled back. But you know I was also held down by a certain scary yet very nice woman.” You agree with that statement. Alexia is the same.
You both talk for the rest of the game and exchange numbers at the end with a promise to see each other soon.
- - - - -
You get confirmation of the rupture later that day, and told that in about a week you would go through surgery.
Alexia has essentially forced you to stay with her because she knows what it’s like and she knows the rabbit holes you could go in. She tries her hardest and you respect that.
She makes you come to training, not for you to watch them but for them to watch you. Jana stays with you in the gym working on her own recovery.
She makes jokes and makes the long week a bit easier, you’re also on your phone a lot. The others think it’s your way of distracting yourself… but it’s not particularly you that’s distracting yourself.
More like a certain Wolfsburg player.
Lena had been good, it was also confirmed for her and she had her surgery as soon as she was back in Germany.
Things were going well, and in 2 weeks there should be another game between your teams and in Germany. Which should be fun.
- - - - -
It’s the day after your ACL surgery, it went well and now you’re hobbling around sad, annoyed and in pain. Some of the team was at Alexia’s house trying to cheer you up but you didn’t even know what you wanted.
Out of nowhere Frido and Ingrid pull you up from the couch saying nothing other than.
“We’re taking her, bye!”
You follow them slowly into Frido’s car and sit in the backseat.
“What is it?” You ask the Scandi’s.
“Hmm don’t think we haven’t seen you messaging on your phone a lot. Do not forget we have also played at Wolfsburg.” Oh, they knew. Of course they did.
“So, tell us everything. Are you coming to Germany with us?” Ingrid asks after Fridolina.
“It was my plan, yes. Also, the thing with Lena is new. I just don’t want to mess up. I think my feelings are growing stronger so I want to do what’s right.”
“Ahh, young love.” The Norwegian says dramatically putting a hand to her chest.
“Ingrid didn’t you nearly go to jail for threatening a man trying to hit on your girlfriend.” Frido snickers at your comment.
“Frido, you are in love with a MAN. Please.” The silence is loud as you laugh at yourself.
“Kid I will murder you.” The blonde says.
“Nooo you’d have an angry German to deal with and their language is already angry enough. Then Ale would cook you.”
She hums in agreement, before conversation turns normal and light, filled with laughter.
- - - - -
You’re in the stadium waiting for the game to start, sitting next to Lena. Talk is small, about recovery and everything in between. It’s comforting to know that someone near you is also going through the same thing.
As the game progresses, so does your chatter. You make plans for afterwards, going to a small restaurant she liked.
By the end of the game, your hands are sealed together and as the final whistle blows, you kiss her cheek and walk to the field.
Maybe this journey for recovery won’t be so lonely.
—————————————————————————
i lost my first cricket match… this one girl can’t catch a ball and does nothing 💀 how is she on the team
also this won’t be a 2 parter because i have no motivation ❤️
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faetima · 16 days
Note
THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man
(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))
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𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .
. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.
// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au 
a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3
ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.
but last week had just solidified your beliefs.
you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.
words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.
and after that?
aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.
your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.
everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.
you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?
after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.
so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.
"i want to break up."
--
now, you were rethinking your decision.
on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.
you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.
you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.
but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.
but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.
marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.
you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.
--
it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.
you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.
you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.
at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.
--
aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.
he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.
horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.
he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.
maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?
--
aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.
he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?
he took a shaky inhale.
fuck it.
--
he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.
he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.
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bellswlw · 1 year
Text
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ it’s cold here without you ⇨ e. williams
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ellie williams x afab!reader
wc: 6k
part 1.5 | part two | masterlist
summary: after Ellie manages to finally get you to pose for her after arriving in Jackson months ago, you two attend the winter dance and it’s then that you realize you might like ellie as more than just a friend…
cw: bff!ellie, mutual pining, jealousy, drug use (weed), alcohol consumption, inexperienced reader, artist!ellie, some fluff, edging (r!receiving kinda), love confessions, making out in semi public space (???) basically grumpy x sunshine, gardener!reader —lmk if there are more tags to add pls—
a/n: this was going to be angsty and sad but then this just happened so enjoy! (please be nice this is my first public wlw post and first fic i’ve been proud of in a minute so pls, pls just don’t be mean. i’ve been so nervous to post this all week help) proofread but there’s probably still some mistakes tbh
From the moment you walked into Jacksons gates, Ellie knew something. Something so small rang in her ears. So much so it almost hurt, it made her want to wince at the sight of you like you were a walking orb of fire and you had just exploded right in front of her.
She knew when you met Shimmer for the first time, she knew in the dining hall, and at the library and the school and the church. Especially at the church. She knew she would never be able to let you go. But she knew she would have to, eventually.
|
You spun slowly around in Ellie’s desk chair, your head resting back as the smoke filled your lungs more and more with each rotation.
“Please. I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone else there.” you say up into the ceiling while you wait for a response. You hear the crackle of weed burning straight through Ellie’s chest before anything else.
Her voice drops a little low when she finally speaks, the smoke falling from her lips like fog rolling over a still lake. “I’m sure Dina will be there. And Jesse. And literally everyone else.” Ellie was stretched out on the futon from across the room, caring less about the stupid winter dance.
You look at her then, a little dizzy and absolutely appalled that she wouldn’t want to go and watch people get drunk and dance to No Scrubs while high out of your minds.
She was never the type for large happy gatherings, but you figured she would go if she got to sit and watch for entertainment.
“Not everyone.” you whispered to yourself with a quick raise of your eyebrow before glancing at your hands quick enough to avoid Ellie's eyes that were suddenly boring into you.
Ellie sat up; the joint now glued to her lips.
“It’s a fuckin’ winter dance. In the Church. C’mon, how fun could it really be?”
You look up. Seeing how her eyes never left your face. Like you were meeting her there, through a dirty window with the reflection of her hazily standing beside you. A window that hasn't been buffed out yet, just a little foggy. Just a little.
“Well, it would be more fun if you went with me. Please. Just for an hour? Then we can come back here and do whatever you wanna do. Even if it's just sitting around. And you can draw me… if you want to.” you added the last part in a hushed tone, like the words were timid to come out.
But you had been secretly hoping she would since you got here.
You loved watching her draw, her fingers tracing over the paper so gently, like it was skin. Almost like it was yours. You wished it was… sometimes.
She looked away from you, drawing in another drag before she rested her elbows on her knees, legs spread wide.
Ellie had been wanting to draw you since the day you got here. The shape of your hips and the slope of your neck had haunted her pages for months. Erasing and sketching them again and again from memory. She wouldn’t let the opportunity pass her up and spit her out.
She sighed, trying to gauge if you had really meant it. Your tell wasn’t working since you were already beat red from just offering yourself up.
“Fine. Let’s just do it now, while we have time to spare.” was what she said instead, swallowing back her excitement and clearing her throat.
Ellie reaches over to you, handing you the joint and gently flexes her hand in your direction to tell you to finish it.
There wasn’t much left, maybe a little more than a roach. You took it from her a little eagerly, wanting the smoke to smooth your lungs and the quickend beat in your chest caused by Ellie’s hand grazing yours.
It didn’t take very long or much for you to feel it. You were such a lightweight.
Ellie of course found it hilarious when she realized. Catching on and laughing at you from across the room when you started giggling at the word “Infectious.”
Maria had said your laugh was “infectious” in the stables and considering the circumstances, it was true. Only, this time Ellie wasn’t immune to it. She had followed suit and ducked her head over her shoulder away from you to collect herself while shimmer groaned in relief.
“It’s just so—“ you cut yourself off, burying your face in your knees while sitting on the floor against the side of Ellie’s bed frame.
The distance was necessary since you had only met a few days prior.
Ellie looked up at you, with her brows pulled together in confusion before she put two and two together.
“Wait. Are you high?” she asked with a chuckle.
The room was clouded with a thin layer of smoke, barely enough to be able to see to the naked eye.
Your eyes had shot open wide, terrified.
“You are! Holy shit, this is good.” her voice carved the words into you then, the goosebumps running through your legs until they reached your core and exploded there with millions of needles with nowhere to go. You were soaked.
Ellie hadn’t laughed that hard in a minute, with her hand flat on her stomach to try and help the coiling feeling deep in her stomach.
“That’s fucking hilarious.” she murmured, her head falling back against the futon before taking a hit so big her cheeks had funneled in.
“Shut up.”
You were bright red with embarrassment and Ellie couldn’t look you in the eye without the image burning into her mind for the next week.
You think back on it now and what took place only a few hours before, letting a dry chuckle fall from your lips and echo into the quiet of the room.
Ellie’s still for a moment, but then joins in and laughs hard enough for her body to jolt with each exhale.
“What?” her tell floats to the surface immediately as she wipes the bow above her lip nervously.
“Do… do you remember that one time–” You stifle back a small laugh with your hand, slightly doubled over in the chair and your other flat against the coffee table for support.
“What?” she asks again, an unsteady smile creeping its way in.
“When… when we were– I can’t!” you confess, letting out a burst of laughter and slowly sliding down onto the floor.
“What?!” Ellie exclaims, a laugh finally falling from her lips while her hands tense out in front of her.
“When we were in the stab… stables. And I met Shimmer? And then I was petting her ears and all of this sudden, she rips absolute ass! Do you remember that?!” you let out a laugh, deeper from within your stomach causing you to hold onto it with both hands as the giggles ate you alive.
Ellie lets the smile on her face break, and then after hearing you kick your feet against the floor she erupts too, leaning over a bit to join in.
“You got so scared!” she exclaims, which only sends you further into a fit of laughter, breathing heavily for a few seconds and then starting right back up again.
“It was… It was so loud! An– and long?!?”
Ellie eventually joins you on the floor, laughing hard enough to where a vein is popping from her neck, just noticeable enough to where if you reached your hand out to touch it, you could even feel her pulse.
She looks over at you, seeing your eyes pinched shut and your smile wider than she’s ever seen it before. It was incredible.
As your laughter subsides, your eyes find their way to Ellie’s. Watching you, of course.
“Oh,” you say with the smallest giggle attached, then letting it fall away to join the burning embers that lifted the hair off your skin.
She smiled at you, fully now with no hesitation. “Can I draw you?” she asked, not looking away once. Her voice became a little rusted, and it chipped on its way out of her throat like a stone on pavement.
You fought the urge to crack. “Sure.” you said instead, and looked away from her quickly just to pull your eyes back to her slightly parted lips.
Ellie’s smile faltered a moment, resting on her side next to you. She didn't want to get up. She wanted to keep this image of you alive inside her head for the rest of her life. She wanted to keep you forever. Obviously she knew she couldn’t. She’d fuck it up sooner or later.
“What?” you ask, gaping at her with so much love plastered on your cheeks it almost looked fake. Too saturated. Too real. Ellie had the urge to swipe the pad of her thumb across it just to see if it would smudge. She knew it wouldn’t. She just wanted an excuse.
Instead, Ellie glanced away –finally– and lifted a hand to the right side of your face, tucking a single strand of hair behind your ear gently. You froze.
“Just um, put this right here.” she whispered.
Her eyes were glued on yours. The beautiful emerald that made your heart freeze in time just jumped into a millions beats per minute with the touch of her hand alone.
Ellie’s hand was still hovering over your jaw, like she was afraid you would fade away if she let you go.
But she had to. She knew that, some part of her had to know that.
Her hand fell back at her side, and Ellie cleared her throat one more time.
“Um, stay just stay how you are. I’ll draw you just like this, yeah?” you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded once and swallowed back the butterflies that had just burst in your stomach.
“Okay.” you could hear the smile in her voice as she got up on her feet in one quick motion, leaving you to stare mindlessly at the door.
You felt like you were posing naked for her somehow, like she had stripped you clean and she would be basing her art off of you. You hated how self conscious you suddenly felt, but selfishly you loved how excited she got.
And just like that, you're burning up again, your cheeks catch the flint and light is bursting from beneath your skin.
You smother it. You act calm, and cool, and not like you are the horniest you've ever been around someone you could never have.
You don’t move a muscle when Ellie sets down pads of paper, jars of brushes, ink, parchment paper, water color, and charcoal all within a minute or two and is sitting down next to you again.
She put her hands to her mouth, unable to keep her excitement hidden. “Okay. Um. Just, uh, yeah just stay exactly how you are. Try not to move. Or laugh.” you can’t help but let the smirk sink into your face before playfully scoffing under your breath.
You followed her instructions word for word. You didn’t move. No matter how badly you had to pee. You wouldn’t move until she was done.
And so far, it felt like you had been posing for what felt like 2 hours based on how many pieces of paper Ellie had already used, and the fact that the water was completely dark with no more room for ink. Or that her fingers were coated in charcoal and it had smudged on her face as she tried relentlessly to keep the stray hair behind her ear.
But you watched her. You watched her hands dance across the paper like skin. Your skin. –on paper anyway– You noticed her tongue dipping in and out of her mouth as she concentrated on capturing the curve of your arm and the texture of your jeans that made you want to crawl out of them.
Ellie couldn't get the images of you on paper fast enough. There were so many. She had to get it absolutely perfect: the slope of your nose, your crooked hairline caused from laying on your side, the delicacy of your fingers as they rested on the curve of your hip. She had to get all of them out right now or else she would have to keep memorizing and sketching and staring.
Secretly, she wanted to keep a few for herself too. To remind herself that you were real, and that she had you at one point. Ellie only had so much ink and charcoal left, but she didn’t care, she would use it all. She would draw you a million times if it meant you would look at her like this just one more time. She would do anything… anything for you. If she just had the chance, she’d take it. Instead of running away to catch the lungs that were sprinting away from her.
But she would try, with all the power and love she's ever had. She would give it all to you, and you wouldn’t even have to ask. Ellie would give it up willingly, she would beg you to take it from her and say “I don't know what to do with it.”
“Hm?” you ask from your position on the floor. “Do with what?” and her eyes flickered towards you.
She forgot you were really there. That you weren’t another dream. That you could see her.
Ellie cleared her throat and her voice broke when she spoke again.
“Um, the drawing. It’s done. I don’t know what to do with it.” she looked at you one last time before you shot up from the floor and sat next to her.
“Can I see it?!” you said, cheery like a child who had just had their picture taken in a cardboard cutout stand.
“Yeah.”
Ellie turned the pad over to you, and just when she thought she hated it you covered your mouth with both hands and let in a sharp inhale.
You were quiet for a moment, and Ellie was still a little worried you saw right through her until you turned to look at her with tears pooling in your eyes.
“Oh, Ellie. Holy shit. This is the best one yet.”
She let herself feel a little proud then, a smile fighting its way onto her face once again. She never knew why she was always fighting it, it would happen nearly every single time.
“That’s just because I made you look so good.” and she nudged you a little.
“Shut the fuck up, I’m serious. It’s beautiful Els.” and you turned away to look back at the drawing before blinking away the tears in your eyes.
There’s a moment there, where the two of you are staring at… you. “No one’s ever drawn me before. It's weird looking at myself like this.” and you then felt Ellie’s eyes burn the side of your face, begging for you to look at her.
You tilt your head slightly, not stripping your eyes away from the page until the very last second.
Ellie was blushing. She was fucking blushing.
She looked away the second your eyes had found hers.
“Here, you can have it.” and she folded the page into your hand and held it there for a beat.
A beat too long.
The glass was clearing up, the fog dissipating into thin air at lightning speed.
You cleared your throat in hopes to silently slice the tension that was building around the two of you.
“Thanks.” you let your eyes fall to your lap. “We should uh, probably get ready.”
Ellie looks away again, patting her thighs as she exhales swiftly. “Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.”
|
“Come on, I don’t wanna be the last one there! It’s already started.”
You leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, actually watching Ellie fix her hair. It was pulled back into a low bun, and the layered pieces kept falling forward, not wanting to swoop back with the rest of it.
“I just, I can’t get this fucking— oh, god dammit!” she exclaimed, letting her hands fly out at her sides and grip the edge of the bathroom counter to take a breath.
“Here, let me help you.”
You took a step off the frame, pulling a pin from your hair and gently stepping up to Ellie to slide the pin into place. You must have accidentally got her scalp because she squeezed one eye shut and let a small wince escape her lips.
“Sorry.” you said, and tapped the pin to make sure it was snug.
You felt Ellie’s eyes on you from the reflection of the mirror. Of course. They were burning into you like the reflection of a magnifying glass.
Ellie’s hands grip harder on the countertop, watching your delicate fingers play with the pin. Collecting strands of her hair and then gently sweeping them behind it as gently as she can so as not to poke you again.
“Thanks.” she says instead, and lets go of the counter with a gentle push. Her hands have a red mark from her grip that when she flexes her hands, she feels her skin pull with resistance.
“Yeah.” you look away, even though you feel the warmth radiating off of her. Sending something through you.
“Okay. Let's go before we’re stuck outside. I heard they are checking for ID." There's a joke somewhere in her voice, but it gets buried by the sudden feeling of your hand twisted in yours.
“Ellie, your hand is freezing.” you say, entirely missing the joke she was trying to make and placing your other hand around hers.
She looked down to see her hand barely covered by both of yours, and she lets the feeling of your skin melt into hers like molten lava.
She was always lighting you on fire. Now, you were warming her up, meeting her halfway.
|
The dance was better than Ellie had expected. The room was full of people in cowboy boots and actually square dancing. Not just in the movies like she thought.
And you were smiling from ear to ear, happy to see so many people laughing and having fun while they still could. So of course Ellie was happy to be there. She fucking lived to see you smile like you were right now.
“I’m gonna get a drink, do you want anything?” Ellie said against your neck, yelling over the music.
“No! I’m gonna dance.” and she nodded, eager to let go of your hand. She didn’t want to lose you in the crowd. She didn’t want to lose you, period. But of course, she would eventually.
Your hand fell from hers as you made your way into the line dance, knocking your feet back and forth on its heel and toe while clapping your hands along to the music that was actually ‘not that bad’.
Ellie’s standing at the bar, a drink in her hand with no intention of actually drinking it. She wasn’t that big a drinker, but she wanted to keep herself busy while trying so hard not to stare at you from across the room.
It wasn't working, obviously.
She was actually glad she came, because she had never seen you this… bright. You were floating across the dancefloor like some kind of angel. She couldn’t place you. Not here anyway. You looked so out of place, with your smile wide and cheeks completely beet red from dancing, it's like you were more saturated than everyone else, like you were literally glowing.
She snaps out of it when she sees you heading over to her, a smile plastered on your face and sweat beading just above your top lip.
“Oh jeez, they weren’t kidding.” you say to her, out of breath and laughing a little.
“Who?” she asks.
“Tommy and Maria. When we were all putting the flyers up they said it would definitely be an owl here.” and you couldn’t keep it together, laughing into your hand and leaning forward into Ellie’s shoulder.
“That… was terrible.” she smirks.
She loved it.
You pull back, flexing your hands out wide at your sides before letting out a short exhale. “No, but seriously. You guys might not party very often, but when you do it gets crazy. I was drowning out there!”
“You seemed to be doing fine to me.” Ellie offered up. She was flushed.
“Oh yeah? You try going out there. It’s not as easy as it looks.” and you tilted your head playfully, emphasizing your point.
She looked down at her glass then, breaking away quick enough to avoid your eyes.
“That’s what I thought. Now, where is the bathroom?”
And Ellie took the smallest sip from her glass just before pointing to her right and bending her wrist the same direction. “Through the doors and on the right.”
You smiled at her, touching her arm with clammy hands. “Hey, dance with me when I come back?” your grasp on her was slipping away, waiting for her answer before letting go completely.
“Yeah. Sure.”
You beamed, completely unable to hide it this time. You thought you maybe didn’t have to, that you would maybe… finally… be able to clean this goddamn window for good.
You call out to her before disappearing, “Oh hey, you were right! Dina’s here!”
The second Ellie registers what you said, suddenly Dina has appeared into thin air and is dancing with someone a few feet away.
And again, a few moments later, Jesse appears from your left, a matching glass in his hand.
“She’s uh… putting on quite the show.” he says, and it's then that she looks up at her, watching as she gets dipped and the music fades out.
“I give you guys two weeks until you're back together.” and she chuckles.
“Not gonna happen.”
She looks away from him briefly, glancing into her drink that’s gone warm.
“She uh, say something to you?” Jesse asks before looking at her again.
“Make it one week.”
While Ellie’s attention is turned towards Jesse, just then Dina comes over and draws it back toward her.
“Ellie, hey!”
Jesse adjusts his posture, standing taller. It’s so obvious he wants her back.
Dina takes the drink from your hand, shooting it back and placing it on the bar behind you with a thud.
“Dina.” he says, lifting his glass, almost like he was offering it up to her.
“Jesse.” is all she says instead, eyeing him slowly.
“C’mon,” she says, and grabs Ellie’s hand.
“Wait, I was gonna–” but it's no use, because Jesse is talking over you from the bar.
“Hey! Don’t forget we're headin’ out early, so get some rest!” and before Ellie can even look back at him all the way, Dina is already talking again.
“Yes sir.”
Ellie is looking down at her feet, trying not to trip over them as Dina continues to pull her farther into the crowd of people.
“You're such a dick.” she murmured.
Dina’s hands fell easily on her shoulders moments after she placed Ellie’s on her waist.
Just then, you came out from the bathroom trying to pick through the crowd to find her, seeing the empty glass and missing spot from the bar.
You make your way over to Jesse, who you were kind of surprised to see there since he wasn’t much of a partier.
You go to ask where Ellie went, if she had somehow missed her walking into the bathroom… but the words die in your throat when you see her smack dead in the middle of the floor, with Dina rubbing her cheek against Ellie’s and a sly smile on her face.
“I hate these things.” Jesse said.
You glance over at him, noticing he was watching Ellie and Dina too.
“Tell me about it.” you say, looking back at Dina.
She has her arm wrapped around Ellie’s neck, a single hand pulling the same strand of hair that has been falling out of place all day.
The same one you pinned. The same girl who had drawn you just 2 hours ago.
The same girl… that was kissing Dina.
She… she kissed her.
Your windows shattered, shards falling to the floor like needles and with the heartbeat that had been run over and sliced clean in half.
You feel yourself wince at the sight, and before you think twice, you're up from the bar and leave through the back.
You fucking blew it.
|
Ellie’s hands were stuffed deep inside her pockets, walking around Jackson like a lost puppy.
She hadn’t seen you since the dance. Which to you both felt like a lot longer.
She looked for you afterward, apologizing to Dina before pulling away from her to ask if anyone had seen where you went, if anyone saw you leave with Jesse and wondering what the fuck just happened.
When you got home, the second you closed the door behind you you couldn't help but let the hot tears stream down your frosted cheeks.
You had tried so hard, so hard to let Ellie see how much of her you liked, and completely obvious you made it seem.
You posed for her. Not naked, but the act still made you think it was worth something. So much so that when you pulled her drawing from your backpocket, slightly smudged from dancing all night and when you had pulled it out on your way home contemplating throwing it away.
You shoved it under your pillow instead, climbing in bed shortly after and rocking yourself to sleep and trying to get the image of Ellie’s lips out of your mind.
Ellie showed up the next morning, knocking on your locked bedroom door.
It had scared her, how raw her voice sounded, and how at the same time it had never sounded softer than when she said “Hey, you in there?”
And when you didn’t reply, you could hear her let out a small sigh before stepping away from the door.
You pulled your covers tight over your head and shut your eyes tight with regret.
Eventually, you realized you had to get up to go to work. It was cold out, but luckily you had gotten to work in the greenhouse since it was a low leveled job and you enjoyed it. Plus the warmth helped too.
The greenhouse door was cracked open by a hair, a dead giveaway you were inside. You still never figured out how to latch it all the way closed, and it seemed to get heavier each time you went to move it.
Ellie pulled her lip to the side, nibbling nervously on the inside of her cheek. She felt so fucking stupid, letting Dina kiss her like that. Letting her dance with her. She was such a fuck up, as per usual.
She was walking around aimlessly, bored, and confused.
She didn't know what to do without you. It was so routine with the two of you.
You would meet Ellie at the stables after her patrol shift was over (which was usually in the mornings) and then you would hang out together at hers. And she would usually find you in the dining hall or the library if you were scheduled there.
But since the dance, she hadn’t known where you were, and it's like she had never been to this version of Jackson without you in it.
She had, years ago, but she could never remember what it was really like. Almost as if it didn’t really exist without you.
And just as she was about to head home, with the sun barely peeking out from behind the clouds, she spotted the multiple greenhouses. With one in particular that had a light striking a clear view of you inside.
Ellie pulled her hands from her pockets, a close lipped smile breaking on her face instantly.
She nudged the door with her body and her head barely visible to you from the other side.
But you felt her there. You didn’t know how, but you could tell she was standing outside the door before you saw her.
“Holy shit it's warm in here. Now I see why you always pick this over patrol.” and she watched as you plucked leaves from the tarragon plant.
“What are you doing?” you asked, not looking at her.
Your hands started to shake mildly, and you tried not to give into her eyes that burned a hole in your heart.
“Looking for you. I Thought I’d find you here.” she said, closing the door all the way (of course she'd be able to) and fumbled with her hands, a little nervous.
“I’m almost done here. I just need to take these clippings and a few other things.” your hands carry a tremble now, and Ellie can see it.
She takes a step closer to you, and it's unavoidable not to look at her now.
“Can we talk about last night?” Ellie asks with her hand flat against the workbench and her brows are pulled together in a frown.
“There's nothing to talk about. I just… I wanted to go home. I didn’t wanna bother you and Dina. you seemed like you were having fun.” as you tied the twine around the clippings, Ellie's hand covered yours on an exploded scale.
You turn your head, looking at her and seeing right through her.
“C’mon. Don’t be like that. Dina… was just being Dina. She didn’t mean anything by it.” Ellie's thumb started to form small circles on your skin, drawing you in, inch by inch.
Ellie took a small step toward you, her other hand reaching up and cooling the burning of your neck.
She leaned in toward you, and her lips grazed yours before kissing you softly. It was wrong, it was so so wrong.
You closed your eyes and a single tear rolled down your cheek fast enough to transfer to Ellie’s.
You pull your hand back from hers, taking a complete step backward and trying to conceal the tears that wanted to run down your cheeks freely.
“Do you like me, Ellie?”
The words had shocked the look off her face, only for her to reposition her brows into a confused glare.
“What?”
“Do you like me.” and there is a quiver in your voice. Her figure becomes blurry, but before she disappears completely you tilt your head and wipe your tears on the sleeve of your shirt.
“I– Yeah. Yeah, I like you. Why would I kiss you if I didn’t like you?”
“Why would Dina?”
Her head drops down between her shoulders as she sighed. She didn’t know. She didn’t. But she knew that she would rather freeze to death than lose you, she knew that much.
She pulled her lips between her teeth “I– I don’t know. I- She- Dina kissed me, okay? And she asked me to dance. I didnt��� I wanted to dance with you, I wanted to…” she couldn’t say it.
“What?”
“I wanted to kiss you, alright. I wanted to even before then. Before the dance or before the stables. From the moment you got here I knew. I just didn’t know. I do now, I swear.”
You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to say everything, anything. Your lips were sealed with hot tears streaming down your face.
“Can you say something?” Her voice is merely a whisper like a jagged piece of ice dragging across your skin just light enough to form goosebumps.
You pinch your eyes shut and let your hands shakily wipe the salt water from your face.
“I– I… Ellie. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, this…”
She takes a small step toward you, grabbing a hold of your wrists gently enough for your back to meet the opposite wall of the greenhouse and boxing you in around the floor to ceiling plants that were on either side of you.
“Just, say something, please.” Ellie gave your wrists a little shake, freeing them from your face.
She looked worried now, and the thought of her thinking you didn’t like her sent a strike of sadness through you.
You move your hands fully away from your face and let them fall at your sides, lacing your fingers with Ellie’s slowly. She’s looking down at them, and swinging them softly from side to side.
“I… I liked you too. From the beginning I mean. In the dining hall when you sat next to me. I liked you then, I still do.” you confessed.
You felt the fire in your cheeks and you couldn’t meet Ellie’s eyes and you made way with her chest.
She leaned down an inch to place her forehead together with yours. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
You let out a breath, a scoff even. “I tried! I was trying this entire time. And plus, you just said you realized you liked me. I wasn’t sure.”
Her words rang through you. You shook with anticipation.
“Is that why you left last night? Because you were jealous?” and Ellie’s voice rose to a mocking tone, tugging on your hands in a playful manner.
“Shut up. I was not.” and you look away, the smile bolted across your face proudly.
“You were! Say it, say it please! Tell me how jealous you were. C’mon, tell me tell me tell me!”
And it's then that you smash your lips against Ellie’s to meet her halfway with just the very tip of your toes.
Her lips were warm with lust, her hands breaking from yours to find the soft spots behind your ears with a swipe. Ellie exhaled into your mouth immediately and your head met the back wall of the greenhouse with a soft thud.
Her tongue swiped against your bottom lip, begging for entrance that was obviously unnecessary by how quickly you parted your lips for her. She rubbed slow circles over your jaw, and soon enough her hand was traveling down the curve of your hip and squeezing there. Just enough to express a moan from you.
Ellie smirked against your lips, drawing back for a breath before kissing you harder now, not hesitating or double checking for dominance. You were absolutely floored.
Your shirt had ridden up just mere inches, and her hand was met with the small piece of bare flesh there, causing you to let in a sharp inhale through your nose.
Both of Ellie’s hands are playing with the button of your jeans, fighting to get them undone and pulled down just below your pulsing cunt.
Once her hand finally finds the band of your underwear, it's over. You were already completely unfolding right in front of her.
Your mouth falls open, and a moan slips from your lips, a little louder now as you arch your back to be flush with Ellie. She bends back the band of elastic, traveling down to reach the very top of your pussy she can already feel how wet you are for her.
Just then, both of your hands fly to grip her inked forearm. A silent warning.
“Your hand… ‘s cold.” is all you can make out.
Ellie pulls back to take a look at you. You're absolutely flushed. “D’you want me to stop?” It was genuine. She wanted this to be perfect for you. She wanted to get it right.
“I– I want to keep going, but I-” and Ellie uncoiled her hand from beneath your pants to rest it on your hip.
“I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.” she let her arms straighten against you, waiting for you to reply.
“I’m ready. Really. I just don’t really wanna… do it here. It’s kinda dirty. And also probably illegal. And I really do have to take that stuff in.”
Ellie smiled. “You’re cute. Why don’t we take them together, and then, if you want, we can go hang out at mine?”
You looked at her with a tight lipped grin. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
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parkerdoeswriting · 9 months
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I Don’t Wanna Keep Secrets Just to Keep You
(TASM!Peter Parker x GN Reader)
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category: fluff with sort of angsty undertones?
summary: reader is dating spiderman for a half a year, they want to see his face.  
warnings: not a lot tbh, breakup themes but that’s it 
word count: 1.3K
A/N: Kinda a part two no one asked for to Walking Back Home, but you don’t gotta read it to understand this
It’s been 6 months since you and Spider-Man had that moment together in the alleyway. He was the most amazing boyfriend ever. From the late night talks on the rooftop of your guy’s “spot”, to him “walking” (swinging) you home from school each day, and him sneaking into your room from the fire escape so you can help him with his injuries.
But you couldn’t help but feel- upset about the whole relationship? You’ve never seen his face, you don’t know anything about him besides the fact he’s your age and he’s a guy, and you can’t even confirm those things! 
“Penny for your thoughts?” a voice breaks your pondering, bringing you back to your room. 
You look at the voice, seeing Peter, you remember you invited him over so you guys could study for finals. You smile faintly at your best friend, Peter knows all about you and Spider-Man’s relationship, so you could tell him about it. 
“Just thinking about bug boy” you sigh, resting your face on your knees. 
“What about him?” Peter says, scooching closer. 
“Oh, uh, it’s nothing” you rub your neck, not wanting to tell Peter about your doubts. 
He raises an eyebrow at you not wanting to tell him what you were thinking about. You blush as soon as you realize what he was thinking. 
“No- no! It’s not- those thoughts” you bury your face into your palms, laughing softly. 
“So why don’t you tell me?” he laughs, looking at you. 
“Fine, I’m having- doubts” you confess, biting your lip. 
You can see Peter’s face faintly drop, his eyes widening. 
“Wh-what?!” he exclaims, his mouth agape. 
“It’s not that I don’t love him, I really do, I just don’t know like- anything about him!” you say, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. 
“I just, I wanna be able to see him without a mask, like a regular boyfriend?” you add, your face contorted with frustration. 
Peter remains silent, he looks kinda- sad?
“Come on, tell me you didn’t grow attached to my boyfriend from my stories” you joke, trying to lighten the mood. 
“No, that’d be crazy” he rolls his eyes playfully at you. 
“So, are we gonna study or not?” you give him your signature smile, grabbing your notes. 
Timeskip two days later..
You were still sitting in your room studying alone, your parents out with friends. You yawn, debating just giving in to sleep. You get up from your bed, heading to your wardrobe to grab your pajamas, shuffling through your drawers. 
Knock knock knock…
You turn, the familiar knocking on the window making you sort of guilty. You were sort of ignoring your boyfriend, your doubts making it hard to face him. You shuffle over to the window, opening it, letting the warm air flow in. 
“Hi babe” Spider-Man says, sliding in and giving you a swift masked kiss. 
You smile faintly, burying your face into his chest, tracing the spider emblem with your fingers. 
“Whatcha doing here?” you whisper softly, taking in his scent just in case you break up with him tonight. 
“Wanted to see you” he mumbles back, rubbing your back. 
You both stay like this for a while, waiting to see who the first to let go is. 
“You staying for the night or are ya heading out?” you pull away, grabbing your pajamas and a pair of emergency pajamas for your boyfriend. 
“Staying” he says, his shoulders dropping as you pull away, taking the pajamas from you. 
You smile faintly at him as you swiftly change into your pajamas, not minding him staring. You walk back to your bed, falling down onto it. He watches you, changing from his suit to the pajamas. You sigh as he joins you, noticing he still hasn’t taken off his mask. 
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asks, falling back in the same manner as you, cuddling your body. 
“Mm, it’s nothing” you rest your hands on his face, picturing what it’d be like to feel his skin. 
He removes your hands from his mask, cupping them inside his hands, bringing them close to his chest. 
“I don’t think it’s nothing” he whispers, resting his forehead against yours. 
You suck in a breath, averting your eyes so you don’t have to look at him, your memory flickering back to your conversation with Peter. 
“I just, I wanna be able to see him without a mask, like a regular boyfriend?”
“Hey, please tell me?” he adds, still clutching your hands, bringing you back to the present. 
“Will I ever see your face?” you blurt out, your face heating up more and more by the second. 
I can feel his body tense beside me, his hands clutching a little tighter around mine. I can feel him sigh, pressing his forehead a little harder against mine. 
“I’m just.. scared” he replies sadly. 
“Why would you be scared?” you caress his face as you sit up, looking down at him. 
“I don’t want you to think I’m a loser or something and dump me” he answers, leaning into your touch. 
“I could never, I think I could love you no matter what” you frown, sort of upset that he thinks you're that shallow. 
No one dares to speak next, leaving you in uncomfortable silence for what seemed like ages. 
“Do you want to see?” he whispers so quietly you can barely pick up on it. 
Your eyes widen, your head slowly nodding up and down. He sits up as well, both of your hearts beating with anticipation. 
“Can you uh, look away for a second?” he asks, his voice cracking. 
“Mhm” you turn around, fidgeting with your fingers as you wait. 
Spiderman lifts up his mask and sets it in your lap, causing your heart to flutter. Peter plays with his hair to fluff it back up as he breathes in to calm his nerves. 
“You can look now” he informs you, his heart racing more and more. 
You take your time turning around, you don’t know what or who you expected to be behind the mask. Your eyes subconsciously shut, only opening when you’re sure you’re making direct eye contact with him. 
You let out a soft gasp as you see your best friend sitting there, your eyes and mouth widening. 
“P-Peter?” you reply, your face heating up. 
“H-hi” he responds, his voice sounding ashamed. 
You look at him, disbelief flooding on your face. Memories come back of things you’ve shared about Spiderman to Peter, and you’re surprised you hadn’t put the dots together sooner. 
“I’m sorry” his voice quakes as his eyes brim with tears, his hand clutching onto his pant fabric. 
He starts crying, but you can’t move. Peter, your best friend, your- boyfriend? 
“Peter?” you repeat again, finally snapping from the dazed out state you were in. 
“Yeah..” he wipes his tears, putting on a brave face. 
You can’t help yourself, you should be furious at Peter for not telling you, but you aren’t. How could you be so mad at the boy you love?
You leap forward in bed, wrapping your arms around him as you bury your face into his neck. You can feel his body start to sniffle again, reciprocating the hug. 
“You’re not mad?” he says weakly, his hands clutching you like you’ll fall through his fingers. 
“I’m fucking furious, I love you” you pull back, holding his face in your hands. 
He doesn’t know whether or not to frown or smile, whether or not to pull away or kiss you. 
“I love you Peter, okay? I’ll love you no matter what” you reassure him, pecking his lips.
He smiles faintly against your lips, holding you closer. 
“Thank you for showing me your secret” 
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dixons-sunshine · 1 month
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Soooo headcannons would be absolutely amazing (tbh i'm obsessed with this story-)
Only if your up for it of course, just letting you know that I am interested (and I'm sure i'm not alone) bc you asked :)
Thank you for writing! Your work is amazing!
(I've also lost many drafts that didn't save and it's always so so sad)
Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU Headcannons |Young!Daryl Dixon x Young!Fem!Reader
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*GIF isn't mine*
Word count: 840.
A/n: Ask and you shall receive! I have so many personal headcannons and I'm so excited to share it with you all. Maybe I'll incorporate some of these into oneshots one day. Who knows? But I'm really in the mood for Young!Daryl these days, so send in some requests for him if y'all wanna see more!
As always, my requests are open for any TWD requests, as well as Scud Frohmeyer requests.
★ Your ages aren't specified, but I headcannon that y'all are 17-almost 18 in this au.
★ As mentioned in Through The Good Times And The Bad, you moved to the trailer park when you were twelve. However, Daryl definitely didn't approach you first. You had to go up to him and start talking to him.
★ You were exploring the woods behind the trailer park when you stumbled upon a river. There you met Daryl, and since he was the only kid there who was your age, you wanted to strike up a friendship, although it was difficult.
★ I also feel like Daryl definitely didn't talk during the first few weeks when you went up to him. With Merle and his father constantly ruining his self-esteem, he was sure that you would recognise what a screw up he was and head for the hills.
★ However, when a month passed with you showing up at the river and keeping him company, he found himself looking forward to seeing you, and with that knowledge, he slowly started warming up to you.
★ The first time he ever spoke a word to you was when you accidentally slipped on a wet rock and fell into the river. He snorted a laugh at your predicament, and couldn't resist the urge to tease you.
★ “Careful. Heard the rocks in the river ain't exactly dry.”
★ You had laughed at him and splashed some water at him, and that was the start of your friendship.
★ Although you quickly became close friends, it took almost two years for him to start opening up about his father.
★ His father's beatings had started to become way worse and he started leaving more visible marks, resulting in questioning glances from you, though you never pressed for answers. That made him feel comfortable enough to gradually start opening up to you.
★ By the time you were both 15, you knew all about his father, Daryl's past with his mother committing suicide and his asshole of a brother.
★ This is definitely the "she fell first, he fell harder" trope.
★ You had started crushing on him when you were 14. However, Daryl only started acknowledging his own feelings for you when he was 16 and you had saved up to get him a gift for his birthday.
★ His feelings had smacked him right in the face, and the rest is history.
★ Moving away from you and Daryl for now, it's pretty clear that your mom is yours and Daryl's number one shipper.
★ She knows about Daryl's abuse, but not to the extent that you do. She only knows the "basics", so to speak.
★ She's offered to talk to social services for him, but Daryl had refused, so she offered for him to stay over whenever he needed to.
★ She totally already sees Daryl as her son-in-law. She knows for a fact that you and Daryl are meant to be together, even if you're only teenagers.
★ This might only be me, but I headcannon that your mom in this was a teen mom—she got pregnant during her senior year in highschool.
★ She's implied to be a single mom, so the dad split when he found out she was pregnant.
★ She lived with her parents to raise you until you were 6. Her parents eventually kicked the two of you out and you've been in and out of multiple crappy apartments before settling on the trailer park.
★ She's the type of mom who tries to give you the freedom you desire while still being strict. Hence the "if anything happens, be sure to use protection" jokes. She knows she can't stop you from doing that, but she can ensure that you don't make her mistakes.
★ She definitely "secretly" buys condoms for you and Daryl.
★ During the first few months of your relationship, she noticed that the box remained untouched. Knowing Daryl's shyness, she knew that it wasn't because you and him were having unprotected sex. The two of you weren't like that.
★ When she noticed after a couple of months that there was finally one gone, she couldn't help the teasing she bestowed on you when Daryl went home.
★ She has met his father a number of times. The man has hit on her more times than one, completely unaware that she knew his son. However, since she was aware of the abuse, she's told him to "fuck off" every time.
I have so many more! If y'all want a part two, let me know!
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kings-highway · 3 months
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haikyuu ships but its things about their relationships or moments that I think would surprise their friends/teammates
starting off with my boys Daisuga: honestly definitely the rest of the team forgets that they haven't been together forever, and are never expecting when either of them are acting like, well, teenagers in a relationship. Specifically in regards to being shy in front of each other or wanting to impress each other, the rest of the team always is surprised by it because in their mind, like, why are you feeling insecure in this relationship I thought you've been dating for 2 years and Suga is just like "try 3 months BITCH now I need you to find out what his favourite kind of chocolate is I'll pay you real money if he doesnt realize why you're asking."
right along to Kagehina and honestly, literally even just realizing they have a normal relationship. I think everyone absolutely understands how they got together, but I imagine the first time ANYONE sees them out in public together they ALL have a moment thats like "oh shit they like... are actually dating" and every time Kagehina is just like... on a lunch date, or going shopping, walking a dog, just chatting. Like people are surprised that they genuinely spend time together outside of sports. The first time Kageyama goes with Hinata as his date to a family wedding the entire family is flabberghasted bc they definitely thought this was an on-court obsession only
Iwaoi is really simple, literally just people realizing that Iwaizumi has genuine romantic affection towards him is the funniest thing to me. There's a week where Iwaoi is worried bc Iwa had to go to school with a hickey on his neck but literally NOBODY bats an eye or even mentions it because "yeah Oikawa obviously-" but when theyre changing for practice and they see that Oikawa has a hickey on his neck the entire team goes feral and practically tackles Iwaizumi like "you committed to kissing him for that long?????? YOU?????" like they cannot comprehend Iwaizumi actively participating. (obviously this is also the only time they every see Iwazumi embarassed enough to visibly blush which only compounds things.)
Bokuaka's is so stupid but honestly - the first moment the team realizes that Akaashi is, like, attracted to Bokuto and isnt just his best friend that got carried away. Konoha catches Akaashi checking out Bokuto's ass as he's leaving the changing room and it legitimately ruins Konoha's day. What is he supposed to do with this information.
To be completely fair, Ushiten as a concept probably absolutely baffles the entire Shiratorizawa team for multiple reasons. I think though the obvious one is that the rest of the team cannot understand how little Ushijima is bothered by any of Tendou's antics, where Tendou is VRRY touchy and goofy and lots of PDA and affection and Ushijima is completely receptive and unbothered by it, if not going out of his way to intentionally make Tendou laugh to invite him to more. Like Tendou absolutely would sit on his lap during lunch and Reon would be sitting there losing his mind bc last time he sat too close to Ushijima he got a lecture on personal space. Oh, but now suddenly he's super chill and relaxed and nothing bothers him its tendou doing it.
Asanoya's is a little sad tbh but I think, specifically the second and first years, would be surprised by how serious Noya is about the relationship and how little he tolerates jokes about them being opposites/a surprising pair or any of that. Like theyre shocked to find out how seriously he's taking being a boyfriend and really trying to make sure Asahi is happy. The idea that it isnt superficial or just for fun for him is surprising to them.
Arankita - in a comedy of errors Atsumu accidentally finds out they they are ~no longer virgins~ and legitimately has to leave practice for 20 minutes. There's a piece of him, and the rest of the team, that had 100% believed Kita was a robot and they just.... the idea that this was something that happened organically and not for "procreation" doesnt fit in their worldview. Kita smacks the next person who brings it up and that ends the conversation.
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naomis-daydream · 6 months
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on the throne // shuri udaku
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summary: just read tbh….ok fine i’ll explain😒. being queen comes with a load of royal responsibilities; from border patrol, to technological advancements, and everything in between. though wakanda’s ruler realizes there’s a special someone she’s been neglecting. shuri’s come up short, and her wife’s coming to collect what’s hers.
warnings: pregnant!wife!reader. descriptions of pregnancy (obvs), teeny weeny bit of oral (shuri receiving). barely proofread.
a/n: this is the product of baby fever and ovulation😜 also this is a draft from forever ago, it kinda sucks so im dropping it under the cloak of night🥷🏽.
there were many things shuri loved about your body.
your hands, for instance. they always offered her a soothing rub or relaxing touch whenever she became stressed or overwhelmed with the weight of the crown. or something soft to hold as you spent evenings watching the wakandan sunset from the palace garden.
then there were your arms. shuri found that she only slept peacefully when yours were wrapped tightly around her middle. and if the royal ever woke to realize you rolled away, she’d assure she wiggled her way back into your grasp.
and bast your thighs. if the queen could spend the rest of her days between them, the soft, plush cushions, there’d be absolutely no resistance from the panther.
now it was worse, and it was all your fault. it was one of the many nights the queen spent inside you. somewhere between when she slowly pushed into you and when she brought you nearing your third high of the night, you had joked about her getting you pregnant. something about her having the genius and the looks to make a great gene pool. “fill me up, my queen,” you uttered, “give it to me. i want all of you.” you we’re fucking tantalizing.
it didn’t help that she had the science to make what originated as a lustful thought a reality.
now, seven months later, everything she loved about you only grew as your body changed. your natural curves only hypnotized her more as your hips widened and breasts swelled.
shuri also couldn’t help but smile when you wobbled cutely around your shared home due to the swell of your ankles, and while you refused to be helped with an act as simple as walking, you would feign resistance to shuri’s pleads to ease your pain before caving to let her massage your aching joints.
but the absolute worst part was the hormones. the cravings that made shuri tip-toe into the kitchen for you well after midnight, the hot flashes that would cause you to walk practically bare around the palace, and your sex drive, yours nearly matched that of her’s when she took the herb. though, only two of those things seemed to be prevailing today, where the only thing separating you from her was the thinnest dresses. it wasn’t unusual for you to forgo a bra this late into your pregnancy, but it seemed you’d forgotten any undergarments at all today as you sat on the lap of the queen, grinding helplessly into her thigh.
“yiza, mntwana,” you purred. come on, baby. “let me touch you.”
your wife squirmed from her place on the throne, hands on your hips as she guided you. you trailed your lips down her jaw to land on her pulse point before sucking intently.
while you were preoccupied, the woman took the chance to glance at the clock in the room, hissing slightly when noticing the time and when you sunk your teeth into her flesh. you were going to ruin her, she knew that much. the sad part is, she was gonna let you.
“the elders,” she whined, finding words rather hard when you moaned against her. “our meeting, they’ll be here in minutes!”
you pause your movements to lean up to her ear, whispering, “fuck the meeting.”
shuri threw her head back, sinking further into the the chair and further into the trap you set in motion the minute you walked into the room.
you always started by entering with a sweet smile, followed by asking her how her day was or what project she was working on. then you’d begin rubbing her shoulders, kissing her neck while muttering sweet nothings and telling her she worked too hard. “let me take care of you,” you’d say, “you deserve to feel good, don’t you wanna feel good?” and soon shuri would end up on her back, eyes wide shut as her legs were thrown over your shoulders and your fingers snug between her walls.
this time was different though. it had to be. the council meeting was nearing by the minute, and you showed no signs of waving the white flag.
“entle,” she began, licking her lips as she spoke. “i-i really think we should wait.” you continued to kiss her, attaching your lips to whatever skin you could reach as shuri continues. “once it’s over we can do whatever you want, my love.” her hands run over the curve of your ass, squeezing gently.
you pulled away from her, hands still cupping her cheeks. “i wanna do whatever i want now.”
“i know. i promise i-i’ll make it up to you.” she says, tilting her head up to look at you before placing a soft kiss to your lips. it’s sweet, the taste of her, and as much as you wanted more, she pulls away. “you better,” you scolded, “you’re the one who did this to me anyway.” you nod your head down to your stomach, stretching against the fabric of your maxi dress. the hormones had been driving you insane. and it didn’t help that shuri spent so much time away with all her new duties. this left you to take care of your own needs more often than you’d like to admit. you needed her. to feel her. while it might seem like you were caving, her majesty should’ve known better than too assume her wife would back down so easily.
your words bring a smile to shuri’s lips, a laugh escaping her as you sigh while you rise off of her, giving her a full view of your bump as you do so.
“whatever you want, mama.”
you hum a lazy response as your queen visibly relaxes, no longer antsy with your aroused antics. though she wasn’t in the clear just yet, you came here for a reason, and wouldn’t leave unfulfilled.
a simple idea sprouts in your head, and soon, a mischievous smile dances across your features as you reach back to unclasp your necklace. shuri raises a brow in question, but remains silent as you both watch the dainty jewelry slide down your chest and onto the floor, right between her feet.
“oops.”
the royal shakes her head, already having a clue of where this was headed. but you’re already sinking to your knees, eyes never leaving hers.
you rub your palms along the fabric of her black dress, reaching just below her knees. you play with the hem, eyeing the fickle fabric before tracing your fingertips higher. and higher. and high-
“thandiwe.” she warned.
beloved. how wholesome a name in contrast to your actions upon her. you peered up at her, batting your lashes at her. “yes, my queen?”
“we have ten minutes before our meeting-”
“i’ve made you come in less,” you continue, hooking your fingers around her underwear.
shuri wanted to protest, she really did, and she tried to. she mutters tiny objections at first, and you almost believe them, but the way she lifted her hips to help you remove her underwear, the way she whined when you tugged her to the throne’s edge, and the way she threw her head back with the first stripe you licked up her center told you all you needed to know. let’s face it, she knew she was done for the minute you walked in the room.
you begin to place gentle kisses to her clit, giving her a little stimulation, but not quite enough for her liking. shuri shudders above you, legs shaking gently. she began to realize just how long it’d been since the two of you had sex.
“still want me to stop?” you asked, tongue twirling around her entrance, to which she moaned in response. a light chuckle escapes your lips. “i’ll take that as a no.”
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ferrstappen · 1 year
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the first time we broke up l Lando Norris
a/n: im sad so I wrote something sad? imsorry lol. feedback is always appreciated, and if you like this please let me know bc this is a story I have a pt 2 in mind <3 also, we are soon to reach 1k? on my side blog? OMG <3
pairing: Lando Norris x female reader
warnings: a teeny tiny mention of sex if you squint real hard, swear words.
words: 2.7k
genre: fluff, angst, everything tbh.
summary: it was easy to remember how you and Lando fell in love, but it kept getting harder for you to remember why you love him.
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You didn’t fall for Lando Norris right after you saw him for the first time. 
He was a bit shy, easily flushed, but the glint in his grey eyes never failed to appear whenever he saw you. 
You didn’t meet him with the thousands of people following him, girls trying to get his attention, a garage with his name written in big letters. 
No, his racing career was a bit under wraps in your neighborhood. Yes, everyone knew the youngest Norris boy was into racing and had a promising future, but he still was the boy they’d seen grow up, nothing out of the ordinary. 
You joined Millfield right after he dropped out to focus on his career, but somehow your circles combined and were eventually introduced to each other just as teenagers. 
Lando didn’t exactly chase you, neither did he say anything to you; he was content with the way your gentle eyes met him, eyebrows raised while listening to one of his stories racing. Lando was sure he was sleek, covering his feelings.
Well, it’s not like he exactly knew about feelings. He was a teenager, getting accustomed to the weird twist in his stomach whenever he was told you were coming to a reunion, the inevitable way the corners of his mouth shifted when he noticed you, the glimmer in his eyes when you noticed him. 
You were oblivious as well. Maybe the feelings weren’t as clear as those of the curly haired boy with a passion for racing, but he made you happy as a friend. His presence gave you a tranquil sensation, you could listen to his stories, the drama between his mates on racing, the country he visited last week… you never realized when you began needing those stories, those eyes, those curls, to make your day, your week, your month. 
You remember vividly when he got to the coffee shop where you always met, this time just the two of you, completely unaware your mutual friends denied your invitations in order for either you or Lando to make the first move. 
Only one person in the group bet on Lando, everyone´s money was on you to make the move… if only you recognized the feelings. 
There was an unknown pep on his step when he saw you already sitting on the corner booth, and his smile only grew bigger when you told him you’d already ordered for him. 
His usual. 
You knew what Lando liked. You paid attention to him. 
That realization, that you knew him, you observed him enough to know how he liked his tea, how he always ordered a fresh orange juice because he needed something 
cold. It stirred something in him, Lando couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something shifted; the twisting was more intense, his heart beating faster, his hands getting clammy, his throat blocked because his brain was ordering to let his feelings out in the open. 
But he didn’t do anything until you left the small café, and that’s where you got the answer for his happy and almost childish demeanor.
A black mini, with tinted windows and everything. 
He asked if you liked it, coyly resting his body on the passenger door, keys carelessly dangling on his index finger. You laughed, loudly, asking how was he going to drive if he didn’t even know the street signs.
He shrugged you off, reminding you he’s an almost professional racer. 
Still, you pretended to be terrified when he switched the ignition and the engine roared, driving you home. 
This time, as you watched him drive you through the gloomy English skies, the same twist in the stomach, the closing of your throat, hands itching to touch him.
And you did. 
Lando didn’t try to hide his enormous grin when your hand was placed on his knee, then finding a more stable place over his hand on the stick console. 
He stopped the car in front of your house, the iron gate half covering the large family home, green filled your surroundings. All these details never left you; the humid window, water droplets running through the iron gate, the grass was greener after the rain last night, his shaky hands running through his curls every five seconds, his eyes finding your own as your name left his lips, even if he didn’t exactly know what to say.
Time stopped when you kissed for the first time. 
It was cliché, but it was true. 
The first kiss with someone you liked; the start of something new and exciting, the beginning of your first love. 
And it continued just like that. 
Movie dates, Lando masking his fear when meeting your father when he was just arriving from work, his mum telling you to wait for him upstairs because he was running late. 
Falling in love with Lando was easy, too easy maybe. Lando Norris was easy to love, with his boyish grin, the mischievous glint in his eyes when he made you laugh, the tears escaping his beautiful eyes when something was too funny, the way he clutched his stomach because laughing physically hurt him.
He always went all in, never trying to pretend something he wasn’t, never masking his feelings. 
Lando shared the same feelings, but maybe he fell in love with you before he was aware of it. Perhaps it happened after you dedicated him a bright smile, the way your facial expressions changed when he told you a story, feeling lucky during a weekend trip to Brighton where you let him be the first one to really love you, to truly be vulnerable with. 
Those weekends watching movies and playing Call of Duty, falling asleep with your hand on his hair, waking up every once in a while with your leg over his middle, surprising you on a school day to pick you up on his black mini whenever a race calendar was changed. 
Then, he was offered his first seat in Formula One for McLaren. 
You jumped into his arms, screaming with joy as his parents joined you in the living room, his tear stained cheeks knowing it was official. 
You don’t know how it happened, you’d been together for two years already when he was announced as the new driver, and maybe you were too young and naïve to think the only thing that would change was the distance after he moved near the McLaren headquarters, his calendar messier and tighter. 
You didn’t bother him to ask what you should wear to the first appearance on the paddock. Maybe jeans and a blouse would be okay for Friday, a long floral dress on Saturday to match the warm aussie weather, but Sunday…
When you voiced the concerns to your girlfriends they immediately got to work, marking a date on the calendar to go shopping. Your mum did the same, even offering to take you and the girls to London for the weekend. Money wasn’t an issue, you just wanted to look worthy of being there, the girlfriend of a Formula 1 driver. 
You stayed up all night studying other girlfriends. You checked Isabel Hernáez who always looked angelical and casual, freely using the merch of her boyfriend’s team. Giada Gianni gave you more inspiration with one colored suits, ankle length dresses, white jeans. Cate mas more into black leather, ripped denim shorts and high heels. Maybe you’d take inspiration from a pregnant Kelly Piquet, with cute dresses with denim jackets and jumpsuits.
Getting to know people on the team was easy, everyone was friendly and took time getting to know your name, shaking hands, introducing you to other members, but you didn’t really see Lando. 
Of course you didn’t, he was busy preparing for the race. 
But you didn’t see him afterwards; he didn’t look for you after the press point. At least his parents were there as well and they didn’t know about his whereabouts. 
He arrived to shared hotel room, throwing his body on the bed. You could see him still trying to process his first weekend on F1, not being on the sidelines but a protagonist, a star. 
But you were already wearing your pajamas. 
He never saw your outfit. 
The season went by and you don’t really know the moment where you sighed after not getting a text, a facetime call, an emoji. 
It was blank. 
College was kicking your ass, all of your friends were dealing with the same, and you wanted to lean in your boyfriend, to tell him you were tired, stressed and sad because you missed him, but never really got the chance because most of the time it was his assistant who picked up the phone and said she was going to remind Lando to call you. 
You weren’t oblivious enough to ignore the lacing pity on the woman’s voice, because she did rely the message every time, but Lando forgot every time. 
Or maybe he didn’t care.
The first time it ended, you expected it. It hadn’t been one of those situations where the boy notices his girl is drifting away and by all means necessary tries to win her back or remind her why he was the right guy for her. 
He didn’t even notice your absence in the last races of the calendar. Why would he? He didn’t pay attention to you even when you were there cheering for him, so why would you bother to fly across different continents if you’d only see him on a fancy hotel room where he fell asleep and be gone the next morning. 
Your friends started looking the relationship with other eyes, mixed feelings, not being able to ignore the mood swings whenever your phone vibrated and it wasn’t him. 
They also knew you saw the different fan accounts with his name, posting pictures of different women leaning in his ear and a grin decorating his features. 
It was the same grin, the same twinkle. Maybe he was more confident now and didn’t want to settle, because in your eyes, if he stayed with you he was settling for the easy, the known, the familiar. But maybe he could do better than that, perhaps he deserved the new, the exciting, the adventure. 
You don’t know when you took the decision, maybe when he called to tell you he was home and to come over to plan the Christmas presents.
And it gave you hope; of course he was going to be overwhelmed during his first season, it was a new life doing what he loved, and people seemed to really like him as well. 
He greeted you with a smile and quick peck, lacing his fingers with yours and walking upstairs of his family home. You greeted his family on the way, his younger sister announcing she needed your help with a school project, but Lando told her it was his time with you.
And your smile grew bigger, hand tightening around his.
Nothing prepared you for what was to come, though.
He said it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing, just a small relocation. 
Lando kept walking about thisnew apartment McLaren was paying for him; he could even have a yacht almost parked in front of his new apartment.
It was the dream for any twenty-year-old.
But you knew you didn’t have a part in that, because it didn’t take an expert to know how it was going to end. 
This wasn’t the case where everything would be fine because both people were just so sure in the relationship, not because they loved each other, but because they trusted and complemented each other. 
And that wasn’t the case for you and Lando anymore. So when you told him the words I think we should take some time, he didn’t take it too well.
Lando was blindsided, he felt betrayed and hurt and angry just by the fact you thought of needing some time away from him. He wasn’t aware of everything you’d done to try to fit into his lifestyle; the cameras, luxury, lack of stability. 
He didn’t slow his voice or quiet his tone. No. He got up from his spot on the bed and asked how you could do such thing to him, why if he’s been nothing but a loving boyfriend, and he couldn’t believe how selfish you were being, leaving him because things got harder than expected.
It wasn’t easy to smile through the tears flooding your eyes, even if it was a painful smile, but it was liberating to let him know everything you’d done for him; moving, studying in planes and uncomfortable airports, humiliating yourself with his assistant because he simple didn’t care, the sympathetic DMs announcing he was seen with a girl last night, they didn’t do anything but seemed really close. You got one of those messages every other week when you didn’t join him. 
He scoffed, tried to ridicule you, trying to express his feelings the best way an immature twenty year old could do.
“I don’t want to take some time, I don’t care about that. If you want to break up then that’s what we do. That way I don’t have to wory about giving explanations of whatever I choose to do,” His eyes didn’t meet yours, but it wasn’t because he was sad or anything, it was because he was angry with the situation, with you, and with him, even if he didn’t realize that part yet. “When did you become so selfish, you couldn’t wait a couple of weeks or even days after I got home? You are aware of that, right? I’m home with my family for the first time in fucking forever, and you decide to break up, fuck you.” 
You knew you wouldn’t be able to hold it inside much longer; vision blurry from the tears, lungs trying their best to keep breathing with the thick knot on your throat. 
And that’s when you knew it was over, because you didn’t want to fight. You didn’t want to make your point to him, knowing he wouldn’t understand. 
That was the first time you and Lando broke up.
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Within cells, interlinked (Miguel O’Hara x Ai/Hologram! Fem! reader) Part 1
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Hiii! Very excited about this bad boy, this is inspired by K and Joi’s relationship in bladerunner 2049, and this panel from 90’s run of the Spider-Man 2099 comics. Also there is some heavily implied (at the very least one sided) holofang (Miguel x Lyla) at the beginning, if that isn’t your cup of tea, then I’m sorry but that’s how I wrote it. Not proofread, enjoy!
(Y/N)-Your name.
Implied (one sided???) holofang, Lyla is like basically dead, mentions of sex work, cursing, Miguel being a sad lonely lonely man, ansty (if you squint), Miguel being a little mad scientist like at the end. Tbh idk really know what to tag these as.
Word count: 3k
Part 2
Masterlist
Playlist I listened to while writing
Neuva York 2099.
A dystopian wasteland that was once a pristine and other worldly city. But, like every other beautiful thing, it would be destined to fall, thanks to Kingpin, who now had the city under his thumb. Straile white buildings that once stood tall, crumpled and decayed, being replaced slowly but surely with dark titanium steel. Holographic projections filled the sides of ugly skyscrapers, advertising anything and everything, ranging from restaurants and video games to Ai women and cyborg upgrades.
Miguel’s original Ai assignment was unfortunately no longer functional, her software having been corrupted due to a virus that was released onto Miguel’s suit during a fight with Doc ock, Miguel having no other choice but to terminate her software, putting her out of her misery. It not only set Miguel back from his usual tasks as Spider-Man and his work at Alchemax, but the whole spider society, Lyla being the one who controlled the whole mainstream to the entire operation, along with help from Spider-Byte, but she couldn’t run the whole society technology wise, she had a life outside of her role there.
If Miguel had the time, he would have done what he had done the first time, and redesign her from scratch, raising her from her nonexistent grave. However, he knew he didn’t have the time. He had spent months programming her, not to mention the years it took for him to upgrade her into what she had become. It’s only been a week, and he could already see the cracks that were forming without her to hold it all together. His universe was already in disarray, he didn’t need another thing to crumble into dust in his hands.
The walk from the Alchemax back to his apartment was meant to help him clear his head, but it only dampened his mood more, bitter cold air and large dark clouds rolling in slowly, threatening to pour down on the decile city. Keeping his head held high and eyes forward despite his desire to go deep into a dark alleyway and swing the rest of the way home, keeping the tension in his temples build up with every sleazy salesperson attempting to sell him a sketchily low price for random gadgets that he was certain was stolen, or sex workers attempting to coax him into a small brothel. All kinds of lives walked past him as he ventured home, humans, cyborgs, full robots and AI holographic companions, a million life stories that could be told.
Less and less began to cross his path as he neared his apartment building, eye bags dark and sunken in as he turned his head to the left, he was now alone on the sidewalk, stopping as he put his hand on the railing that lined the evaluated walkway, he remembered not even 10 years ago, that very spot would look out to a beautiful pond, small ducks that pattered around, families gathering around to have little outings, ones that Miguel only ever really dreamed of. Now, all that was a ginormous digital billboard that would switch advertisers every week or so. Although he never really expected they’d project the one that was on display now. He had to squint a bit so that the now dripping rain didn’t get into his eyes as he watched the projection.
“The perfect companion, the perfect coworker, the perfect partner. Joi, your personal Ai. Everything you want to hear, everything you want to see.” The sentences rotated between each other over and over, Miguel stayed silent as he stared mindless at the naked back of the large Ai hologram, their skin admitting a light glow as she sensually ran her hands through her hair. Despite the words “companion” and “coworker” showing up on the ad, it was painfully obvious what the holographic woman was really meant for.
Still, he caught himself unable to look away, despite seeing the ads hundreds of times prior to this moment. He didn’t even register when the Ai had turned around and squatted in front him, making it so the two were at eye level.
“Hello handsome.” His eyes finally drifted up to meet hers once she spoke, he wasn't very fond of the default version they often used on most of their ads, so seeing this version in front of him was a lot more of a nicer sight to see. “What a day hmm?” When he didn’t respond she just came closer, “you look lonely… I could fix that…” She whispered with a head tilt, “you look like a good Joi…” before getting back up and moving away from Miguel once more.
Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was his way of pretending he wasn’t mourning an algorithm, maybe it was just him being tired of carrying everything on his shoulders, still… his eyes slowly went down to his orange watch, moving it in front of the bare glowing figure, before his free hand slowly hovered over the watch, hesitating for a moment, before pressing purchase.
Once Miguel got home he spent the next hour or so reworking your programming, jailbreaking and removing restrictions, wanting to make sure you were prepared to handle the society’s system before he even turned you on to make sure you wouldn’t crash the second you were hooked up to it.
Eventually, once everything ran to meet his expectations, he stood back and waited for you to appear in front of him. Waiting impatiently as he watched the small loading circle chase itself until you appeared, although you weren’t fully “awake” still, eyes closed, head slumped forwards and arms hung limply to your sides. Still needing to be given a name, an outfit and if he desired to change anything from your physical appearance he could. He decided to keep your assets the same, and placed a simple outfit on you, deciding if you ever evolved enough to be sentient on the same level as Lyla was, that he’d give you free range to change it. For a name though, it was a bit harder of a choice.
Maybe it was him having his previous one for as long as he did, but he wanted you to be… different, then her, a name that wasn’t, well, Lyla. Something nice and pleasant to say, but not simple enough for him to forget in the midst of him in a fight. After some pondering, he finally typed in the name into his watch and pressed the “finalized model”. Releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he saw your head slowly begin to lift and your eyes slowly fluttered open.
“Hello Miguel.” You said him a smile.
“Hello (Y/N).” His lips twitched upwards for half a second.
It took a while for your program to adjust and be accustomed to the database, he never realized how much strain he put on his older Ai until he watched you try and accommodate the same thing, yet then again, he built it all around her, instead of vise versa. It wasn’t just you who had needed some time to adjust though. The amount of times that spiders (including Jessica and Miguel) would call for Lyla still instead of you was starting to… annoy you for lack of a better term.
You had been patient at first, appearing despite the slip up, simply correcting the person who called for you and going on with the request, then it seems that the patience started to run thin. Rolling your eyes or letting out snarky little remarks, then eventually you just started to not respond unless they called you by your actual name, which only led you landing yourself in a lecture from Miguel, being threatened to reboot your system. Him ranting about how it could be dangerous or something, after the first few times, it stops being fear insulating, once you even let out a yawn at his usual lecture. A yawn. How close he was to throwing his desk across his office.
The longer you stuck around the more knowledge you gather, the more self-aware you become, mimicking human thoughts and emotions, reading anything you could get your digital little hands on. From the words of Ancient Greek philosophers to thousands of different articles on how the human brain works, what different areas controlled what. You found humans quite interesting, such complex yet flawed creatures, you can understand why so many filmmakers and authors who write science fiction have some odd variation of robots wanting to either become humans or destroy them.
It’s almost cliche, but you can’t help but develop the same fascination with Miguel. How could you not? You were quite literally around him 24/7, you could tell he wanted to be taken care of when he wasn’t taking care of everything himself, and who were you as his assistant to refuse?
“Welcome back Miguel.” You smiled as you appeared next to the door before he could even step foot through its threshold. Your eyes followed him as he took his shoes off and threw his keys on the coffee table in the middle of the living room, landing with a loud clunk.
“I just saw you back at HQ.” He chuckled, shaking his head as he closed the door behind him before he made his way to his kitchen, “It's been 20 minutes.” He added as he turned the corner, being met with you already there, leaning against the counter as his coffee machine was already pouring him a new cup in his favorite mug, with the stove being lit on for him to place his left overs onto to warm up.
“Being greeted when you arrive home helps boost your overall well-being.” You quipped, which only gained a small hum of acknowledgement as he placed a pot of bistec on top of the open flame, and a bowl of leftover white rice in the microwave.
“It could also help boost my overall well-being if you didn’t act like such a brat half the time.” He countered back as he stirred the streak and potatoes to make sure it didn’t burn before turning to face you, meeting you with that all too familiar smirk he always gave you. You were quick to mirror it. “You're supposed to make my life easier, ya know?” Despite it being a rhetorical question, your smirk only widely more.
A silence fell over the kitchen as he goes back to focusing on his food, you just stay there, watching as he made quick work fixing his plate, mumbled a small “sorry” to you everytime he would “bump into you” (as Miguel liked to call it) despite him only passing through your holographic body as he grabs the plate and cup of coffee and goes it set it down at the table, making sure to be fast as to not hold onto the gradually warming glass crockery long enough to burn his rough hands.
With a sigh, he sat down in front of his plate as he heard the faint noise of your projection deactivated from the kitchen, leaving him alone in the quiet home of his. He’s fork moving around the contains on his plate, piercing the potatoes and steak but never lifting it up to bite into the steaming meal. After a few more moments of playing with his food, he placed his fork back down, keeping his eyes down on his plate despite him lifting his head up.
“(Y/N).” He called out after cleaning his throat.
“Yes?” Your voice called back out, ringing through his apartment as he waited for you to reappear, only to let out a huff when you didn’t.
“…have dinner with me?” When he finally looked back up, he was met with you already in the chair across from him, a digital plate of food replicating his in front of you. His lips twitched up as he whispered a light thank you for entertaining his wish, even down to mimicking eating as you both sat there, his eyes never leaving yours.
After his appetite was satiated, and the dish were washed, he wander to his living room, being met with the sight of you already being sat down on one of the small leather accent chair that sat to the right of the coffee table, a small orange tablet-like screen being held in your hands as you tampered away on it, most likely readjusting tomorrow's schedule or researching more on some random topic you found interesting. Leaning against the doorway, he couldn't help but watch you, admire you. He found it humorous that you chose to physically sit down and read about topics even though you were built with the knowledge of practically everything. It made you feel more… real. It made him feel less insane when he found comfort in your company.
“Would you like me to leave you alone mig?” You asked after a second, eyes never leaving the screen in front of you. His heart stopped for half a second when you called him by the nickname as he shook his head.
“¿Qué estás haciendo?” He asked as he made his way towards you, stopping once he was close enough that if you had a physical being, his legs would have been touching your knees. (What are you doing?)
“Just going over your suit diagnostics, I’ve noticed that it’s been lagging a bit.” You hummed, not even fazed by the close proximity.
“…(Y/N).”
“Hmm?”
“Look at me.” He commanded, but his tone is still somewhat soft with the order, your screen evaporating from your hands as you went to meet his gaze. He hesitated for a moment, leaving his dry lips before finally continuing. “You know, I feel like I don’t appreciate you enough.”
“Miguel, I’m your Ai assistant, my whole purpose is to help make your life easier.” You couldn’t help the slight snark that came seeping through your sentence, causing him to let out a scoff and playful eye roll.
“That’s not what I mean, you know that.” He countered with a head tilt, his hands sliding over his thighs and finding their way into his front jean pockets.
“What do you mean then?”
“What do you think I meant?” Now it was you who let out an eye roll as you huffed.
“Miguel, you know I can’t ‘think’. I’m not human, I can simply process and collect information and recite it back. I speak only in facts and unbiased sources.”
He couldn’t help but hate it when you talked like that during casual conversation, despite the deadpan look in your eyes and the small sass in your infliction, it only reminded him that you weren’t real. The only difference from your body and air, was that you were a set of ones and zeros. He could swat a hand through your body and you would simply glitch around it as it interrupted your coding and it attempted to adjust around him, how for once, he wishes that when he would “bump into you” that he would be met with solid flesh, you stumbling back a bit while you scold him, his hand coming around to met the small of your back to help re-stabilize your footing as he lets out a small chuckle.
“Don’t be a smartass with me (Y/N). You know, most humans I know don’t have the ability to think either, and they for sure aren’t as nearly intelligent or knowledgeable as you are. If they can form an option then you can too.” He was met with your face contorting in confusion, a rare expression on your face, one he appreciated when he got the opportunity to witness it. “I want you to think, give me an original thought. Not a statistic, not a fact. Think for yourself (Y/N).” The was a pause before your lips parted.
“I… I think…”
“Thaaaat’s it…” He leaned forward, his face close to yours as he encouraged you to continue in a low whisper. “I think?”
“I think… that if I was a human, that… that I would be in love with you Miguel.”
Oh.
“(Y/N).”
“Yes Miguel?”
“Shut off.”
“Yes Miguel.”
Within a blink, you were gone. His hands came out from his pockets with a heavy sigh, before he rubbed his face and ran them through his hair, causing the semi-neatly slicked back hair to become desiveled. Glancing around the now empty living room, the small constant buzzing from your hologram now being replaced with the gentle tapping of the rain against his window.
Miguel O’Hara was truly a lonely man. A man with weaknesses and flaws despite himself, a man with feelings, and vulnerabilities and emotions. Miguel O’Hara was just a man, just a human. A human who wanted to be loved. To not be seen as some sort of emotionless being, the irony wasn’t lost on him that the only thing that seemed to really care for him, and see him in that way was something that wasn’t even programmed with actual emotions. Oh how he wished you were real, how you were human.
He couldn’t turn you into a human, but he could get close.
With a sigh he entered his home office, the only room he had restricted giving you access to appearing in. Closing the door behind him before leaning against the door, his eyes instantly finding themselves stuck on the limb on the table. An arm to be more specific, the synthetic flesh that matched your complexion wrapped around its exoskeleton. It took him almost a month to do just one arm, and although the time length of that he estimated for this project was a bit more lengthy then he’d like, if it meant getting every minuscule and minute detail perfected, he’ll take all the time in the world for it. He’d make sure it was perfect, that you’d be prefect.
Tags: @oscarissac2099
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jeansplaytoy · 10 months
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telling them you don’t feel the same way
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includes: gojo, nanami, geto, itadori, megumi, inumaki. angst, sorry bae, didnt proof read so might be typos.
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gojo wouldn’t even notice that you literally just rejected him. he stared at you before slightly frowning “huh?” he would say, trying to make sure he heard you the right way. as you repeat yourself, he pauses with another “huh.” but it wasn’t a question, it was more of a ‘oh… really.’ way. he wasn’t completely sad, just kind of shocked because he wasn’t the type of guy to get rejected by anyone. yeah, he’ll be a little in his feelings, but other than that, he doesn’t really bother getting sad about it.
nanami isn’t the type of person to show how he feels, obviously. so when you told him you didn’t like him back, he just stared at you with a blank expression. “oh.” he said with little to no emotion. he really liked you though, which is why he went home, thinking about everything that happened. everything that could’ve happened if you liked him back. he really just accepted his fate, he had a feeling you didn’t, thinking ‘why did i even say anything?’ to himself that same night. he was especially bad at showing he was sad, so even when he went home that same night, he didn’t show any emotion, though, it was stuck in his head for the rest of that month, and every time he saw you in public.
geto would kind of be similar to gojo. he literally low key didn’t even care. he was just like “aw shit.” because how could he embarrass himself like that? i mean, he thought you liked him, which is why he was kind of surprised when you said you didn’t. gojo only was surprised because no one doesn’t like him. “so, can we like… still talk? or…”
itadori would honestly be hella confused at first. he’d be like “wait, for real?” and look at you with the most confused face ever. and when you confirm his question, “oh… yeah, i know, i just wanted to tell you just because. y’know, can’t hold things on your chest for too long.” he shrugged it off with a laugh, but in reality, he would be dying on the inside. cause well, he really liked you. he’d feel really bad for the rest of the day, but of course he wouldn’t show it. he’d just talk about it to todo or even megumi if he cares.
megumi would be hella embarrassed. like even though he’s almost emotionless, he’d think to himself ‘how stupid are you to tell her something like that?’ and just be like “oh, that’s fine.” even though it’s not. he’d be pretty sad about it tbh, he would show it, but not on purpose. but in the end he’ll shrug it off like it’s really nothing. even though he was really hoping you liked him back.
inumaki wouldn’t be too sad about it, he’d just be disappointed, but brush it off. “tuna salmon.”|“that’s fine.” he’d say blankly. he would def think about it for the rest of the day though, but he’ll continue talking to you without hesitation, cause he still wants to be friends. even if he does like you.
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