#can we try to video chat for a couple hours sometime within a week and I’ll need some hours or a day advance notice to mentally prepare lol

[storiesforallfandoms]

permanently ~ corpse husband

word count: 1456

request?: yes!

“Corpse husband x female reader. The reader is corpse wife but they keep there really private only a few people know that corpse is married, one day people start asking corpse if he is seeing someone and corpse doesn’t know if he wants to reveal he’s married because he worried she will get hate so he talks to the reader about it and his worries and the reader comforts him about his worries. Later corpse reveals in a video that hes married and everyone really happy and supportive of his marriage.”

description: in which he reveals a surprising secret to his fans after months of questions about his love life

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

It started when his fans heard her speak during a stream.

Corpse had been careful to keep his love life a secret for so long. He loved his fans, but he knew that if he even gave the slightest indication that he was seeing someone, the more extreme of his fanbase would go looking for her. He didn’t want any hate messages sent her way, she didn’t deserve any of that.

They had been so careful. (Y/N) would stay away from Corpse’s streaming room while he was streaming, or she’d sit next to him and make zero noise. Luckily, (Y/N) wasn’t famous, so they were able to share pictures and videos on her private social media accounts.

She had slightly pushed open the door to his streaming room one night, trying her best to make as little noise as possible in case his mic was on. Corpse noticed her from the corner of his eyes and turned to look at her.

“Mic off?” she whispered. Corpse chuckled and nodded. “I sent you a text but you didn’t respond. I’m gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything picked up?”

“I’m good for now, thank you.”

(Y/N) smiled and crossed the room to give him a kiss before leaving again.

For the half hour she was gone, (Y/N) lived in ignorant bliss, unaware of the chaos happening online.

When she got home, she found her husband pacing the kitchen. Concern was written all over his face, and it deepened when (Y/N) walked through the front door.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“The mic wasn’t off,” he said.

(Y/N) knew what he meant immediately, but she still couldn’t help but ask, “What?”

“When you came in during my stream, I thought I had shut my mic off, but I didn’t. My viewers heard us talking, and they heard us kiss. The chat went wild and it’s trending on Twitter already; #corpsesmysterywoman.”

(Y/N) grabbed her phone and went into Twitter. It was the top trend and it was flooded with tweets that ran from shocked to supportive and happy to, of course, hateful.

“On the plus side,” she started, “they’ll never be able to identify me just by my voice.”

“Doesn’t mean they won’t try.”

(Y/N) sighed as she watched Corpse start to bite his fingers, something he did whenever his anxiety ran high. She felt bad for him. He shouldn’t have to worry about his fans having a negative reaction about their marriage, and he definitely shouldn’t feel like he was to blame if his fans found her, which she knew he would.

(Y/N) touched Corpse’s shoulder, causing him to stop and look up at her. She took his hands in hers, wiping away the blood he had drawn.

“It’s okay,” she assured him. “We’ll get through this. Besides, I’m a big girl. I can handle this if anything happens.”

Corpse nodded. “I know, I just didn’t want you to be brought into this.”

“It was bound to happen eventually. Could’ve been worse.”

Corpse wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She hugged him back, dreading the next time he’d have to go online.

~~~~~~

A week passed and the buzz around Corpse’s “mystery woman” did not die down. The hashtag trended for two days, and his fans were still speculating on Twitter. Corpse took some time off social media in hopes it would all blow over, but it became evident very soon that it would not. Everyone was still tweeting him about it, and it even began to escalate to people would ask Corpse’s friends during their streams.

Enough was enough, and Corpse decided it was time to address the issue.

He announced he would be doing a Q&A stream on his Twitter. Within seconds, the stream was trending.

(Y/N) sat on the floor next to Corpse’s chair as he set his stream up. She could see he was shaking with anxiety over the situation. She put a hand on his leg, bringing his attention to her.

“It’ll be okay,” she assured him. “I promise.”

Corpse gave her the best smile he could muster. He laced his fingers through hers, trying to calm himself down. Before he could back out of it, he started the stream.

The chat flooded with questions immediately, most of which were asking about her. Corpse was able to avoid these questions for as long as he could, until someone donated a super chat question specifically asking about Corpse’s relationship status.

“Are you taken?” he read. “Well, I guess I can’t get around it now. The answer is yes, I am taken, and I am taken permanently.”

The chat went wild at this. Corpse’s hands began to shake again and (Y/N) squeezed the one she was holding, trying to look up at him sympathetically. His attention was focused on the screen in front of him, trying to get the words out the best he could.

“The truth is, I was seeing someone for a long time. She isn’t a content creator or famous in any way, so I wanted to keep our relationship to ourselves. We’ve made it public with her friends and family, but as far as my YouTube life goes, I wanted to keep it a secret. At first it was because I didn’t want to announce the relationship and have it go south and we break up, but the longer we kept it a secret the more I knew I wanted it that way because it was just another aspect of my life I thought would be better to keep to myself. I didn’t want to bring her into a spotlight that she didn’t want, and honestly, I didn’t want any of my fans to know who she was.

“And marriage...well, it wasn’t something I ever expected to happen to me. We weren’t even dating all that long when we both got drunk one night and I just...I asked her. We both laughed it off at the time, but the next morning when we sobered up I realized I still wanted to marry her. So I asked her again, promised her I’d get her a ring when I could, and she said yes. Flash forward about a year and...I’m a married man.”

(Y/N) leaned her head against Corpse’s leg and smiled up at him. Through his nervousness and anxiety, she could see him reminiscing on the history of their relationship, the way she liked to do sometimes. Especially on the hilarious story of their engagement.

“I won’t be giving any more details besides that,” he said. “I will not stream with her if she does not feel comfortable, I will not be publicly stating her real name, I certainly won’t be posting her face on any of my social media. Especially without her permission as she has already said she doesn’t really want a life in the public eye. I am sorry I kept this from you all for so long, but I hope you can understand my reasoning, and I hope you will all treat my wife with respect. That’s all I really want.”

He continued with the Q&A. After enough time had passed for that information to sink in, you decided to check Twitter to see what the reaction had been. The top trend, within a matter of minutes, was #wearehappyforcorpse. The hashtag was flooded with kind messages congratulating Corpse on getting married and on finding the one. A few people were sharing Corpse’s wishes and warning the extreme fans not to go looking for whoever Corpse’s wife was until one of them made her identity public. There was very little negativity and, although (Y/N) had told Corpse this would likely be the case, she was relieved to know that it actually was.

When the stream ended, (Y/N) could almost physically see the weight that had been lifted off Corpse’s shoulders. She stood from the floor to sit on his lap. He took her in his arms and buried his head in her shoulder, letting out a long sigh of relief.

“That went well,” she said. “Almost like I said it would.”

“Don’t say I told you so,” Corpse said, lifting his head to smile at her. “Although, I also knew it would go fine.”

“Even if it went different, we would’ve dealt with it together. That’s what married couples do.”

Corpse leaned forward and kissed her gently. (Y/N) smiled as she broke away and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I’m so lucky to have you,” he said.

“You are.”

Corpse chuckled and playfully squeezed her as he kissed over her neck and face.

#corpse husband #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[its-me-im-coraline]

Lucky Charm // Ethan Torchio

words // 1215

warning // / maybe some would find it a bit angsty but it is generally fluff

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader

author's note // ok so I decided to do 3rd person point of view this time, let me know if you enjoy it or if you prefer the 1st person point of view like my other maneskin fics. It is a little different than what I suppose the person requesting thought but I still hope you enjoy this 💕 Also, I am starting to write longer fics which I am excited about lol, i hope you reading it are enjoying longer fics as well

request // yes, here, by @paiges0926

summary // Ethan is feeling a little off before a show with the band. He has been away from reader for a while and the distance is killing him. Here are their face time calls before the show.

It had been a rough while, every one could tell. Although the relationship has been going on for a couple years now, there had never been this long when the couple were apart. Usually, it was short periods of times, maybe a few weeks; sometimes it was just days, since they would decide tagging along the band was a good idea. This time though, it was around two months that Ethan and his lover had not being close, if anything to just hold each other to sleep when bad thoughts striked - and it was difficult to bare.

Ethan, even while not being the biggest fun of always touching someone, felt a certain comfort in the arms of his partner. Late at night, when anxious thoughts could potentially keep him awake, there was the love of his life, asleep, peaceful and lovely as ever, soft snores, maybe even a bit of drooling from time to time, put him in a state of euphoria; just by looking at them. He missed how the hugs felt, the kisses, all the jokes and giggles while being with each other… Some times his partner would be awake as well, catching him in deep thought or concentration on a book - he was not actually reading- understanding the situation within a second before jumping into comforting action.

As of right now, he didn’t want to worry his love but he was in dire need of some sense of comfort. The time was... late, and he knew that, he knew the up and coming concern he would create but he was in need of seeing Y/N's face and hearing their voice.

“Hey, dolce amore, che cosa è?” Y/N was clearly troubled. The clock read 02.54 am, beside the bed as they tried to turn on the lamp, and Ethan was also supposed to be asleep. (hey, sweet love, what is it?)

“I am sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to wake you, but-”

“But you are anxious,” Y/N interrupted, quickly catching onto the reason he was calling at such a time.

“Yeah.” His voice was soft and low, shame laced in the breathy exclamation as he looked everywhere but his lover’s face.

“It is ok, baby. What is troubling you at this hour?” They harbored a soft look on their face. It was not -just- because of the time, but they always held this expression when Ethan was troubled. A soft almost smile, eyes looking at him with so much love. Usually that was enough to put his worries to rest.

“I miss you. A lot. And we have this show tomorrow, we are performing Lividi sui Gomiti and I am afraid I haven’t rehearsed it enough, and this show is really important and I can not afford to fa-”

“Ethan, breath!” The sudden interjection slightly startled the man that, while rambling about his worries, had forgotten the most fundamental of actions; to breath.

“I am just worried about the show, that is all.” That was not all, and while not yet, Y/N would realize soon enough.

“It is ok, baby. Remember that you are doing this for you, forget other people for a second. You love to play your drums and you love the music you and the others make, right?” A slight hum from his line was the only response.

“Well, then remember that, and breath. Everything will be alright, I am sure of that. Yeah?”

“I am trying, amore, I really am, but man, it is hard right now.” His voice sounded almost like it was breaking, eyes slightly watery, still avoiding the camera of his phone.

“Is there something else going on, too?” Y/N could really read Ethan like an open book, even if it took a moment, they always understood what the drummer was trying to hide.

“I miss you, Y/N. A lot.” Although both knew the truth of his words, it was the first time he had admitted to it. “I just wish you were here touring with us.”

“I know, love, me too. But school/work is all over the place in the moment an-”

“I know, I know. I just miss you a lot...” The sorrowful look in his eyes broke Y/N’s heart whenever it was there. They thought that this man shall never feel anything negative; unfortunately that exceeded their control.

“I miss you too, Ethan. The house is empty when you are not here… Is there something I could do right now?”

“Can you teleport?”

With a breathy laugh and a sweet smile on their face, Y/N replied, “I wish I could, Ethan. I wish I could.”

“It’s late. You should go to sleep. You have that thing for school/work tomorrow. Oh my, I forgot! I am so sorry!” Oh, sweet, sweet, Ethan, even when struggling he is considering his person’s possible struggle - truly what has kept him from saying he misses them for so long.

“It is alright, love. Are you feeling any better now?”

“Yes. Lots.”

“Good, good. Now, why don’t both of us go to sleep now and we can talk again tomorrow.”

Just a simple face time call is all Ethan needed to calm his last minute nerves keeping him awake, going to sleep being far easier now, after the short conversation. The restful sleep did not last long and the morning arrived. Both of them were extremely busy for the am hours, the one with concert preparations and the other with different responsibilities they couldn’t ignore. But as they could not forget the responsibilities they could not fail to remember the little tradition they had with Ethan.

Although the Italian man is not full on superstition, believing in his and the band’s hard work far more than any “luck”, he found he performed better after chatting with his lover before a show. Thus they “lucky call” tradition was created - surely being turned into a “lucky kiss” if they were with each other.

Ethan could hear his phone ringing in his pocket during the chaos that is pre-performance. He was tempted to ignore it at first, not knowing who it is, but soon enough he changed his mind, seeing “mi amore” with the bold lettering of his phone, and responded to the video call.

“Hey, cucciolo, what’s up?” After a good night’s sleep and the swift encouragement of his lover, Ethan felt in high spirits, voice light like he’s floating. (apparently it means puppy which I think is so cute)

“Someone’s in a good mood!”

“Well someone spoke to a little birdy that told them they’ll do good today,” he smiled, the softest, most loving expression adorning his face.

“I am glad to be of service, good sir,” they joked,” but I wanted to reminded you of what I said last night. You will do great, good luck!”

“Why, thank you, dearie. I greatly appreciate it. How did work/school go?”

“It was alright, but, come on, this is your moment. I take it rehearsals went well?”

“Absolutamente, si! I was worrying about nothing!” His excitement was unbelievable. He called almost ready to cry the night before and now you wouldn’t be able to slap the smile of his face if you tried.

“Good to hear, love.”

“Well, you are my lucky charm, so I am not surprised at all.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #ethan torchio imagine #ethan torchio #måneskin #måneskin imagine #måneskin fanfic

[whocalledhimannux]

@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*

ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.

first, our competitors:

Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.

Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.

Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring

Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination

Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)

Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals

Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.

Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.

Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.

Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)

Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)

Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)

more details below the cut

I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.

Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.

Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).

Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.

My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.

I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.

None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.

I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).

[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]

[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.

[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]

am I obsessed? I might be obsessed

#queen's thief #attolia irene #kamet #costis ormentiedes #sophos #eugenides #teleus #eddis helen #laela #oh dear I bet her tag is virtually unsearchable #sorry laela

[willddheartt]

30 Days | Wilbur Soot

30 days to fall in love with someone? Sounds easy right?

It would be if that person wasn’t so unbelievably annoying in almost every sense. 

You’re not sure how you found yourself in this situation, but you were positive there was no backing out now…

Series Warnings: Mostly fluff and angst, and a very poorly constructed enemies to lovers plot. 

Word Count: 1892

Masterlist Series Masterlist 30 Days The beginning

You sighed, staring at the black screen of your PC waiting for it to light up. After last night, you didn’t even want to log on, but you knew if you avoided it now, it would just cause more hassle in the long run.

The monitors light up with your bright coloured backgrounds and the PC itself emitted many colours of the rainbow.  Opening Discord, you started a message with Wilbur.

Did you hear? You type, clicking through a few channels as you awaited his response. 

Yeah, how’d this come about? his message read 

Your head shook as you typed and you ran a hand through your hair, pushing it back and out of your face, I don’t know. Hop in a VC and we can discuss better? 

You pulled on your headset, waiting for the call to come through, what you weren’t expecting was for Wilbur to video call you. You had just got out of bed before logging on and didn’t even have any makeup on and you were still in your cropped top and sleep bottoms. Quickly pulling the fuzzy blanket you kept on the back of your chair around your shoulders you answered the call. 

“Hey,” You answered with a sigh, setting your head in your hand.  “Hi,” He said, monotone.  “What’s he got on you?” You asked  “My home address and credit card information, stuff like that. And you?”  You sighed, knowing if you told the truth he might think even lower of you than he already did. “Same thing and like some stupid stuff I did in high school,”  Wilburs expression changed from annoyed to something you couldn’t read, “What did you do?”  “Relax,” You sighed, “It’s nothing like terrible, terrible.” “Do you not want to tell me?” He sat back in his chair  “I’d rather not,” You mumbled, “I don’t need you thinking lower of me than you already do.”  “Fine,” Wilbur sighed, “Do you want to talk about how we’re going to do this or not?” You nodded 

“What do you think the best approach would be?” You asked, sitting up and pulling your leg up.  “Well obviously, I think we should outline what the rules are.”  “Okay,” You nodded pulling up a note, “So we’re supposed to be dating right?” You asked, Wilbur, nodded. “So we should act like a couple,” You said as you typed out  “What about how we act on and off camera?” Wil asked  “What about it?” You asked, “On camera, we act so madly in love the fans won’t even question it, off-camera we can not speak or whatever we do now.”  Wil shook his head, “I think to get the best performance we’d have to truly play into this and act on and off camera.”  You threw your head back, “Really?” You asked  “Do you truly hate me that much, Y/N?” 

“Well no, it’s just I’d rather not.”  “Too bad, it’s already written.”  You sighed, “Fine.”  “Do you think we should tell our friends about the whole situation or just leave it as we’re a couple?” You asked  “Leave them out of the blackmail part, they could slip up.” You nod agreeing. 

After twenty minutes of back and forth, you devised a list of rules doe the month. 

They were as follows:

Must act like a couple on and off camera 

Must act like a couple at all times 

Every week doing things that couples would do (i.e. dates, movie nights, going out to dinner) 

Must post announcing you’re together, on Twitter Instagram or in a stream. 

Can only tell friends about you being together 

And you must see each other regularly. 

If either of you failed to do one of these things you immediately owe the other person $50

Wilbur was still on call with you after the list was created, you ended up talking about how you think the blackmailer got your information. Both of you were in the dark. 

Your roommate came in, interrupting your conversation, “Hey, Y/N, Wanna come with me to pick up food?” She asked stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Wilbur on your monitor.  You nodded, “Just give me a second here,” She waved as she exited the room.  “Sorry about that, Wil,” You said turning back to the camera. “Seems I’ve got to go, but we can talk more about this when I get back if you’d like.”  Wilbur nodded, “It was nice talking to you, love.” 

The pet name caught you off guard, you looked at Wilbur, who had the most shit-eating grin on his face you’d ever seen. “What?” He asked, tilting his head, “We have to start somewhere, thought now would be a good time.”  You sighed, “ill talk to you later Wilbur.” 

You ended the call and let your head fall into your hands. 

Man, this was going to be a long month. 

“Sorry about earlier.” Your roommate said once you walked out of your room  You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it, it was only Wilbur,”  “Wilbur?” She asked, “Don’t you, like, hate him?” “Hate is a strong word,” You sighed. “I think I’ve had a change of heart about him.” 

-

You got home to messages from Wilbur asking if you wanted to stream with him tonight to make your announcement, you grabbed a drink and something to eat and got ready to stream. This time you were able to get ready to be on camera. You did your makeup, simple winged eyeliner nothing too extravagant, and you put on a cute top, but kept on your pyjama bottoms. 

Are you setting up stream? You messaged Wilbur 

Yeah, are you ready? He replied within seconds

Ready as I’ll ever be. 

This time you called Wilbur, he picked up within seconds.  “I know this is only fake but im nervous,” You blurted out.  Wilbur nodded, “Me too,”  “How do you think the fans will react?” You asked  “Honestly?” You nodded, “I think the overall reaction will be good.”  “What about the ones that aren’t?” You were picking at your fingers, a nervous habit, “I don’t want to get death threats and that kind of thing,” You frowned.  “I’ll take care of it,” Wil said, his words brought you a sense of peace, and you waited for him to start streaming. 

As he welcomed everyone to the stream, you weren’t on screen yet. You had a few moments to take in his appearance. He was wearing a nice white button-down, and it looked like he tried to do something with his hard but failed and just let it slump in its natural half curly-half wavy state on his forehead. You smiled at him as he kept trying to shake the hair out of his eyes but it refused to move. 

“Well, chat,” He started, “There is someone very important to me that I’d like to introduce you to.” As he spoke you could feel the knots in your stomach, nervous for him to finally show your face cam on stream. “Now, you probably already know them but,” He paused, working things out to be able to show your cam on stream, “Y/N and I would like to tell you something,” He said, and your face popped up on his stream, you waved to the chat.  “Y/N, would you like to do the honours?” He asked with a smirk “I guess so,” You put on the biggest smile you could muster before it looked fake and forced, “Chat,” You said. “Wil and I are dating!” You announced and he cheered.  The chat exploded with hearts and Pogs, of course, there were the normal hate comments, but those were almost drowned out by all the emotes. 

“Okay now, I don’t want to see anybody hating on Y/N, Okay?” Wilbur said in a stern voice, looking directly at the camera, “Mods if you can, keep it out of the chat. And chat, keep it off the social media, Okay?” He waited for responses in the chat to roll through before continuing, “If you haven't got anything nice to say, let’s not say it alright?”  You nodded along with him, secretly admiring how adamant he was about keeping the hate away, you knew Wilbur was the type of gut to do that but you didn't think he'd do it for you, especially where the two of you weren't even truly together.

“Okay, so Y/N and I here, didn’t really talk about what we were going to do on here, we just wanted to announce the news, but I guess we’ll stick around and answer a few questions for about an hour, hows that sound?”  You nodded, “That sounds good to me. Chat if you have any questions to ask us, about our relationship or just personally send them in the chat or whatever you’d like to do. 

You and Wilbur sat on stream for close to an hour talking to the chat and receiving many donations asking questions and answering the chat, they seemed to love that the two of you were ‘together’. You read a few things saying “Enemies to lovers? POG” in the chat that made you laugh to yourself, telling Wil you’d tell him later when he asked what was so funny. 

Truthfully, you didn’t hate Wilbur as much as you’ve convinced yourself you have. Sometimes the acting and just messing around on the SMP got blurry in your mind, a lot of the things you found revolting about him were things his character had done for the sake of plot development. 

Wilbur finally ended the stream, you both said bye to chat and he went off.  “That went well, don't you think?” He asked, sighing as soon as the stream was over. “I think it was good, their reaction seemed to be positive.” You sat back in your chair.  “What did you find so funny in the chat?” He asked, throwing an arm behind his head as he leaned back in his chair. You giggled as you thought about it again, “I saw some people saying ‘enemies to lovers? Pog’ in the chat and I thought it was really funny.” “I mean, they're technically not wrong.” You rolled your eyes, looking down at the time in the corner of your monitor. 

It was late. Almost three am. 

“Hey, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Wil, alright? I should go to bed soon.”  Wil nodded, “Talk to you tomorrow, Y/N, sleep well.” He smiled as he hit the end call button. 

You sat in your dimly lit room in complete silence, other than the noise of the fans in your PC. You couldn’t believe you had to do this for a month. You truly wondered how you could do this, it was only day one and you wanted to crawl out of your skin and wash off the feeling that he gave you. In your act you could see how you might be able to fall for him, but once the call ended and you were snapped back to reality, you wished to take the hottest and longest shower in the word and wash the feeling of him away, watch the dirt slide down the drain and out of your mind. 

“You can do this. It's only a month,” You whispered to yourself.

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #fundy #fundy imagine #quackity imagine #quackity #sapnap #sapnap imagine #karl jacobs #karl jacobs imagine #dreamwastaken #dreamwastaken imagine #tommyinnit #tommyinnit imagine #tubbo imagine #tubbo #technoblade #technoblade imagine #philza minecraft #ranboo #ranboo imagine

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Rumor Has It {11}

Chris Evans x Famous Reader Uriah “Riah” Tyler-Evans

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Angst, Slight embellishment of actual real-world media

Word Count: 3.2K

Summary: You and Chris have been married for four years after a whirlwind romance. You are both happy and trying to navigate marriage in the public eye while balancing your successful careers. In the entertainment industry, not everything is as it seems, the flash of a camera lens impairs vision. As scandal and flashing lights put a strain on your once fairytale marriage is it possible your Hollywood marriage can stand the test of the rumor mill?

**Inspired by a video seen of Chris and his co-star Ana De Armas on their press tour for Knives Out at TIFF where she kept touching his chest and face standing about five inches apart.

**NOTE: A WORK OF FICTION. NOT CREATED TO GARNER HATE OF ANY SORT.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

**Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤❤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You were reeling. You didn’t know if you were more furious or hurt. After everything, after the last few weeks, therapy, the revelations, the openness between you, your tears, and struggle this was where you were. Lost. Confused.

 After sitting in your office or almost an hour after the end of your FaceTime call with Chris examining the screen record of Chris’ background and the one from Ana’s picture you’d gone through every single scenario. You’d even branched out to scenarios of those scenarios and at the end of it all you’d settled on was something wasn’t right. Everything pointed to your husband being a liar, your husband playing both angles when in fact he as a low-down dirty asshole. You were reluctant to believe it especially with all you’d been through together in therapy. The emotions he’d expressed couldn’t have been faked. Only an actual sociopathic psychopath could have faked it. that possibility had you wondering if your husband was a sociopathic psychopath.

 This new light on the situation didn’t help you keep focus for the day. Concentration was pointless, working was pointless. Every couple of minutes you were thinking about it again. wondering where they were right now if they were together if they were laughing together about how easy it all had been. Needless to say, you were now looking at “platonic” actions in a whole new light. You now looked at the video of them together at TIFF differently, you looked at the interviews they did together and the body language differently. You even looked at the times they’d been together when you called him while he was filming. Your insecurities were at an all-time high.

 Those insecurities are what had you on a private jet bound for San Diego, two days before your scheduled trip to LA that was supposed to have you meet up with Chris. You’d followed your gut, insecurities, and fears here because you had a feeling something was up, and you refused to sit around and ignore it any longer. You’d played the dutiful wife, the wife who played the trust card. You’d played the faithful and devoted wife who did everything in her power to save and strengthen her marriage. It was time to play a different card, the stealth wife. You were going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.

“Hello?”

 “I hope you’re not just going to roll over on this one.” Your mother’s voice resonated and you sighed out in the backseat of the chauffeured truck.

 “Mama, for goodness sake,” you began before she cut you off.

 “What would be for goodness’s sake is you putting both of them in their place, especially her. A man can be as faithful as Jesus but there will always be snakes and Jezebels slithering through the garden of Eden.”

 You rolled your eyes. You didn’t have the time or patience to listen to her scripture riddles. “Mama, I don’t have time for this.”

 “Do you have time for a divorce?” You almost fell out. She had the uncanny ability to take it from zero to two hundred in two seconds. This was not different. Still, she had a point.

 “I will take care of it. I’m in San Diego now and I’m going to confront Chris.”

 “Take a beat, I say confront her first.”

 “What?”

 “Yes, both parties are equally complicit but sit with her, get a feel for her. You’ll be able to tell her intentions within the first two minutes. I’m not saying go and beat her ass off the bat. It’s what I would do, but there are ways to be tactful in a situation like this,” she suggested.

 You had thought to go to her and rip out her hair then give her a nice souvenir in the form of a face scar to be used as a reminder to stay away from your husband. You’d also thought to play devil’s advocate and go behind enemy lines and assess the situation from her side. You’d left both options open and decided to go to the horse first. Hearing your mother’s thoughts, you decided to go with her plan. You’d go see the snake, Jezebel, first.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Almost an hour later, you were sitting in a hotel room in front of a set table with an assortment of foods before you.  Your mind was racing but you felt strangely calm as if you were slowly gliding through the air in zero gravity. It would have been peaceful, but your heart felt heavy.

 “Uriah?” Her accent was very clear. You also heard her shock and confusion. When you turned to her she had a smile on her face. She was a pretty woman. There was no lying about it. You could see why men would fall for her and her big hazel eyes, striking bone structure, plump bottom lip, and exotic accent. Thinking about that you saw what would draw him in.

 You smiled widely and stood. “Ana. How are you?” She returned your smile and stepped to you with her arms out. Once before you, she threw her arms around you hugging you. It was unexpected and your first red flag.

 “I’m so good. How are you? Oh my goodness I love this outfit you look amazing.” She was being overly friendly. This was a sign she was overcompensating for something. You played her game and carried in with small talk.

 After a few minutes, the two of you sat down across from each other. “Chris didn’t mention you were here.”

 “I know. He doesn’t know. I wanted it to be a surprise. So please don’t tell him.”

 “Oh, that’s so sweet—so romantic.” Her smile slipped for a moment. You didn’t miss it. She smiled again and straightened her back coming back to being the picture of friendliness.

 “I wanted to have a bit of lunch together just us girls. It’s been such a long time since we chatted. I just wanted to catch up.” You knew it was believable. You were not an amateur actress.

 “That sounds nice.”

 “I remember a few things Chris mentioned that you liked. Cucumber sandwiches, dragon rolls, and that salsa from your country that you said you couldn’t live without. I hope it’s the right brand.”

 Ana’s eyes roamed over the food on the table with a huge smile on her face. “Wow, he told you about all this?”

 You nodded and sipped your tea, “He did. He talks about you a lot. I can see he likes you.” Ana looked at you and studied you as if she were searching for something. You suspected what she was searching for. You kept your cool.

 “Yeah, we’re good friends. He’s a great man. You married a keeper.” You slowly nodded and took up one of the California Rolls before you. It was one of the two sushi products you would touch. From your example, Ana did the same and made a plate with a little of everything.

 The two of you ate in silence for a few minutes. After some quiet, you chatted about the business, upcoming projects, silly stories floating around Hollywood, fashion, makeup, and travel. It all seemed normal. If you didn’t have the fact in the back of your mind that she was fucking your husband then it was possible to become friends. In another life, the two of you may have become friends. You may have been good friends.

 As you spoke about trivial things, you formulated the right path to go. You couldn’t be too direct, and you couldn’t be too passive. You had to find a way to ride the line between the two.

 “I hope everything is okay with your family. I heard the break Chris took was because of a family emergency,” Ana led a little over an hour into brunch.

 “Yes, it was. We went through some things that had the power to break us. It was important we took the time. I wasn’t sure we still felt the same way about each other anymore.” It was true. Sometimes you had to reveal something personal to open the gates. Ana’s hand reached out for yours and rested on top in a reassuring way.

 “I’m sorry. I had no idea. Do you want to talk about it?”

 “No, no need. I want to distract myself. How are things with you? Anyone in your life that makes this crazy life of fame better?”

 She remained quiet for a little while then toyed with the straw in her Fiji water bottle. Her eyes didn’t go back to yours though. “Things are okay. They could definitely be better. I never realized how much fame could be so lonely. You have millions of people watching you all the time. Tens of them around you but still you can feel--.”

 “Alone?”

 Ana looked to you and nodded with a melancholic smile. “Yeah. I don’t expect you to understand. You have Chris.”

 “He’s been pulling away for some time. It may just be our workload and our maybe we’re not the same people anymore. We might have outgrown each other. I understand.” It was a stretch but in the light of new details maybe it wasn’t. Ana watched you and you tapped into your actress side and played up everything you felt a little over two months ago.

 “Oh Uriah, I’m sorry. Do you think--.” Ana paused looked down timidly then bit her bottom lip before she spoke again. “Do you think he’s having an affair?”

 Bingo, you thought. Nothing you’d said since this brunch began had any path to eluding about an affair. The fact that she brought it up was suspicious. “Do you think he is? You’re with him a lot more than I am these days.”

Ana looked at you. you felt the air in the room change, her eyes got slightly darker. “How would I know that?”

 You shrugged and took up a beignet. You loved that the powdered sugar just melted in your mouth.

 “Wait, are you insinuating I’m having an affair with Chris?”

 “I never said that Ana. Why would I even say that?”

 Ana straightened her sitting position and held her head higher. You knew what was coming and you loathed it. Either you’d slipped somewhere, or she was seriously on edge about the topic.

 “Oh, I see. You asked me here under false pretenses to play nice and sugar me up hoping to get me to spill something. You told me some sad story about your marriage hoping it would give you the optic of the sad victim so I could feel sorry for you. Wow. These questions weren’t you being a friend or a decent person. You were trying to find out of I’m having an affair with Chris. I can’t believe this!” She sprang to her feet and walked away from the table.

 “You’re overreacting, Ana. I never accused you of anything. All I wanted to do was catch up with you.”

 “Bullshit!” She rolled her eyes, turned her back to you then looked at you again.

 “By you coming to me like this it shows how scared you are. Do you feel threatened by me, Uriah? Worried that Chris likes me more than you? Scared that our connection is better than yours?” She was trying to get to you, you could tell. You refused to play this game.

 “Look, Ana, I’m not here to play games with you.”

 “No, you’re here to see how much of a threat I am for your marriage. What you should be thinking about is do you actually have a marriage still?” She didn’t give you a chance to reply before she walked out the door slamming it behind her.

 “This bitch!” She just moved her next chess piece—the knight.

 ~~~~~~~~

When you got to Chris’ room that evening you were even angrier than you were at brunch with Ana. You should have thrown her out the fucking window instead of playing nice with her. Yes, a tactical approach was the best but a show of dominance and violence was always a good move. You hadn’t made one misstep. You didn’t take the con too far, you weren’t too passive or direct. She had always been on edge. She probably was suspicious from the moment she walked in. You knew better than anyone a guilty conscience would always see a threat even where there was none. You were a threat though. You knew now she wasn’t as innocent as she pretended to be. That made you wonder just what the fuck was going on.

 According to Chris’ assistant, he was busy doing some last-minute interviews and events for Knives Out. You took advantage of the quiet and time alone by thoroughly scanning his room, especially where the backgrounds of his facetime call and her image looked identical. There was no mistaking it in person. They were the same. After you roamed around the room wondering just what the walls would say if they could talk. Would they tell you all their sorted secrets about your husband and a particularly hazel-eyed co-star? Would they speak of his fidelity and boringness or would they speak about his betrayal?

 When you’d thought yourself weary, you moved on to ways to relax which included taking a long bath and feasting on room service. It was a good distraction but that was all it was—a distraction. One that you knew would end as soon as Chris got back. You would have to address the literal elephant in the room the picture.

 You were so distracted by the view from the living room window and your tumultuous thoughts and feelings that you almost didn’t hear when the door opened, and Chris walked in.

 “Uriah.” You looked to see him standing there dressed in perfect business casual wear with his hair perfectly tousled. You would never think he was unattractive. For a few moments, his eyes left your face and roamed over your robe-clad body and down your exposed leg. As he scanned you, he walked more into the room.

 “Hi.”

“You’re not supposed to be here in San Diego. I thought we were meeting in LA.

 “I know, I just—wanted to be here.”

 Chris sighed and sat in a seat across from you. you found it a little strange that he hadn’t seen you in a week and he hadn’t come over to greet you or initiate contact. As you were going to bring it up, Chris began speaking again.

 “Checking up on me?” His words rubbed you the wrong way. Turning around to face him you crossed your legs not caring that they were fully exposed.

 “Should I be checking on you? I wasn’t aware you needed checking up on.”

 He kept eye contact with you. You could see the tight clench in his jaw and the straight line of his lips. He was annoyed.

 “Did you lure Ana to lunch and accuse her of having an affair with me?”

 Closing your eyes, you sighed and cracked your neck. You’d just jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. The bitch had tattled and moved her second chess piece at the same time.

 “Don’t lie to me Uriah,” Chris warned through tightly clenched jaws.

 “I did not accuse her of anything.”

 “So, you did lure her to lunch and treated her like a homewrecker and threatened my career and name in the industry?”

 “Are you kidding me, Chris?”

 “Are you kidding me, Uriah?!” He sprang to his feet like a firework shell shooting into the air. You could feel the anger coming off of him.

 “I cannot believe you would do this! Why would you do this?”

 “Me? Why would I do this? Why would you do this?”

 “What are you talking about? What have I done Uriah?” You got off the couch and made your way to your purse for your phone. If he wanted to play the fool you would enlighten him. once you found the picture you shoved it in his face.

 “What the fuck is that?” You watched him as he scanned the post then rolled his eyes.

 “It’s a post.”

 “No shit it’s a post. Did you send her that sweater?”

 “So what? I wasn’t going to wear it, she liked it so I gave it away.”

 “And this?” You pointed to the background of the picture and then went to the still of his facetime call.

 “What about this? Why does your background which is here, identically match hers?”

 Chris looked at you like you were bat shit crazy as if he had no idea who you were.

 “Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. What the fuck is this?”

 He didn’t speak, he just stared at you.

 “I’ve suppressed the urge to ask the question because of everything we’ve been through these last months but come on Chris. I can only be so complacent.”

 “Ask the question, Uriah. I dare you.” It was another warning. You flared your nose and hesitated. You knew if you asked it you’d be right back where you were before therapy. The hurt on his face was evident. He looked as if he were holding back tears.

 “Ask it!”

 “Why do your backgrounds match?”

 “They are hotel rooms, I’m sure they are all identical.”

 “Bullshit!” You walked away from him and to the window.

“Did you come here to confront her--to confront me?” You clenched your jaw and fought back your tears.

 “I wanted to see where your head was and the opportunity arose to see where hers was too,” you explained.

 “Satisfied? Was her denial enough?”

 “She didn’t deny anything. She threw her cockiness around instead. Did she tell you that when she came running to you to get sympathy and create an even bigger wedge between us?”

 “This isn’t about her Uriah. This is about you. I thought you trusted me. I thought we’d moved past this and had turned a page and were moving forward. I thought we were stronger.”

 “I thought so too. I really tried not to come here with this. I debated it but Chris how can I look past this? If you were me, what would you have done?”

 “I wouldn’t come here accusing you or your costar or fucking!”

 “For the first half of our marriage you accused me of fucking Christiano! I just need you to explain this to me.”

 “I have nothing to explain. This wasn’t my room. She wasn’t here.”

 “So, she wasn’t in here dressed like that with you? You weren’t fucking her before this was taken?”

 He didn’t speak right away. He looked disappointed. He sighed and walked away facing his back to you.

 “I don’t think we’ll ever get past this.  The last two months were a waste of time. I thought we could move forward and be stronger because of the pain and the struggle but I don’t think we can.” He turned back to you in time for you to see a tear roll down his cheek.

 “I never lied to you. I’m not playing you either. That picture was not taken here. She’s never been in here.” He dropped his head and wiped his tears away. “I don’t think I should be here either.”

 He didn’t give you enough time to speak, he just walked out the door leaving you alone. You didn’t know what to think or believe at this point. You knew you weren’t crazy. You also knew that this bitch had shown her full hand. 

~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!! ❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~

TagList: 

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#rumor has it fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans smut #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

[hollyxqx]

playing with fire  //  yoongi  //  04

↪ PARING: Min Yoongi x Reader ↪ GENRE: angst » smut » idol!au » enemies to lovers ↪ SUMMARY: Yoongi hates you. Or at least he thinks he does. (AKA the one where you work for BigHit and Yoongi is bad at feelings). ↪ WORD COUNT: 6.7k ↪ WARNINGS: heavy angst | sex | secret relationships | jealousy | mild possessive behaviour

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE

Over the next few months Yoongi and you began to text back and forth. He couldn't help but feel a little thrill every time his phone pinged and your name popped up on the notification. You were just as busy - if not busier - than he was, so often the replies could be sporadic and at odd times in the day but he appreciated each one.

Yoongi had found out from Namjoon that your birthday was approaching and he had an idea. He was actually going to show you a genuine sign of affection. It made him feel anxious and weird but with Namjoon's encouragement he was going to commit and do it.

"Do you know where she's staying?" Namjoon asked discreetly as the two boys made themselves comfortable in their plane seats. They were flying to America and had 14 hours to kill.

"Yeah." Yoongi nodded, unravelling his headphone wire. Namjoon was fishing through his backpack, no doubt looking for a book. "She's in the States too. Chicago."

"It makes it sound like she's close but America is massive."

"I know." He muttered. "I don't even remember when she was last in Korea."

"So what's your plan for the birthday then?" Namjoon asked, pulling out not one but three books. Yoongi fought the urge to roll his eyes at the overkill. Classic Joon.

"Tell me if this is lame, and don't lie," Yoongi began, feeling a little shy at the prospect of what he was about to say. "I'm going to send flowers and champagne to her hotel room. I also got her a gift."

"What's the gift?" Namjoon asked, eyebrows arching in surprise. Yoongi shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"It's a limited edition signed copy of an album she loves. It's vinyl that's out of print." He said quickly, hoping it would make his confession seem less pathetic is he said them faster. "We also saw them live...together."

"Awwww, hyung!" Namjoon exclaimed, punching Yoongi affectionately in the arm. "Who knew you could be so cute?!"

"Shut up." Yoongi grumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Cutie. Cutie pie Yoongi."

"I won't hesitate to murder you on this plane Joonie." Yoongi warned. Namjoon just grinned wider. He slipped an arm around Yoongi's shoulder and squeezed, practically squealing with glee.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day of Min Yoongi being an adorable sweetheart, all for a girl." Namjoon said as he dodged Yoongi's incoming smack to chest. "It's nice hyung. I think she'll really like it."

"I hope so."

They settled in for the international flight, Yoongi with his music on and Namjoon with his face buried in a book. Somewhere a few rows behind them he could already hear Taehyung snoring and Jimin complaining. It was going to be a long journey.

***

Yoongi watched the rookie boy group you managed on YouTube on the ride to the hotel, ignoring the rest of his bandmates. They were bundled into a minivan rather quickly after landing to avoid the crowds at the airport. He'd just spent 14 hours with his group, he could do with some quiet time alone. Taehyung had alcohol on the plane and was too giddy for his liking, talking too fast and giggling.

The group were called TXT. They looked young, but Yoongi was never great at guessing someone's age. He was watching a backstage vlog that one of the boys filmed. He would never admit it but he was looking for you in the background. It didn't take long for him to spot you, laughing and joking with the main rapper. An ugly feeling roared in him. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

You wore the same leather jacket he's seen you in a thousand times, the one adorned with cute metal pins. Your hair was longer and lighter than he remembered. You looked like you. The same, but slightly different.

He watched the video in its entirety, keeping a careful eye out for you in the background, occasionally catching a glimpse. It made him feel slightly voyeuristic, but it was the only way he could see you. Your instagram that he sometimes lurked had been made private (much to his dismay) and he wanted to know what your were up to.

"What's that?" Jin asked, nudging Yoongi with his elbow, gesturing to the phone screen.

"Nothing," Yoongi replied quickly, locking the screen so it went black. Jin eyed him suspiciously.

"That looked like TXT."

"How do you know that?!" Yoongi asked, incredulously.

"I recognised Soobin. I've spoken to him a couple times before they debuted." Jin explained.

"Oh."

"Nice kid. Didn't think he was your type though." Jin teased, a hint of amusement in his voice since Yoongi was obviously straight. "Unless...you're keeping tabs on y/n."

He felt his face flush with embarrassment getting caught in the act of snooping. It was intended to be a private thing he'd never admit to. "I was just checking out our competition hyung. These kids are the next generation." It wasn't the most convincing lie he's ever told but it was all he could come up with on the spot. Jin bit back a smirk.

"If you say so."

***

The sound of a ringing cellphone stirred Yoongi out of the sleep he'd accidentally fallen in to. After being in America for several days the jet lag was taking its toll and what was supposed to be a short rest on the sofa backstage turned in to a full on nap. Bleary eyed and still half asleep he fished through his pocket to find the device. When your name popped up on the screen he was instantly wide awake.

"Hello?" He answered, somewhat cautiously.

"Min Yoongi you are terrible."

Perhaps it was the fact that he'd just woken up but he was instantly confused. "Huh? What?"

"My gift!" You exclaimed and it suddenly clicked in his mind that yesterday was your birthday and you received the present he sent. For a horrible moment his heart sank, thinking you didn't like it. "I can't believe you did that."

"Did what?" He played dumb.

"Got me one of the most thoughtful birthday presents ever." He swore you were smiling as you spoke. "I was so shocked when the delivery guy knocked on my hotel door."

"I wanted to surprise you." He laughed a little. "It's not a surprise if you know it's happening."

"Well, you certainly did. I'm still in shock." You joked. "I just called to say thank you. It's perfect."

"You're welcome."

"I'm saving the champagne though."

"Why?" He asked. He had wanted you to enjoy it.

"For when we see each other next. We can share it." You explained. Yoongi bit back the huge smile that was tugging at his lips. "You know, we will be at the LA KCON at the same time right?"

He didn't actually know that. Yoongi wasn't the most organised person in the world, relying on the team around him to tell him where to be and when. He was aware KCON was approaching but that was it.

"This is news to me." He said and you laughed, knowing from experience just how he was with his schedule. "We probably won't have time to see each other though."

"Let's make time then." You sounded so confident and assured it took him aback. A part of him didn't expect you to want to see him, that you were comfortable with being just acquaintances and nothing more. It made him happy that you were insistent.

"There's the eager y/n I know." At the mention of your name Namjoon's head whipped round and his eyes locked with Yoongi's, a keen look on his face. No doubt Yoongi would get a million questions once the phone call ended. He looked away, trying to ignore the eyes on him.

"So wanting to see my friend is eager?" You played along. Although he couldn't deny the friend comment stung a bit. He fought the urge to make a dirty innuendo knowing Namjoon was within earshot.

"It is when you have more important things to do."

"Shut up. I know you want to see me too."

"I'm just coming for the champagne." He teased. He imagined the eye roll you were no doubt giving him right now. "Did you have a nice birthday?"

"Well," You sighed. "I worked twelve hours and had one of my boys injure himself then spent three hours in an emergency room."

"That sounds like a nightmare."

"It was. Your gift made my day worth it though."

Yoongi felt his chest swell with pride. That was exactly the reaction he had hoped for and he was glad he took the risk in the first place. The two of you chatted for a little longer before you had to go, duty calling you. When you hung up the phone he caught himself smiling a little too much and it was only when Namjoon laughed and threw a packet of snacks at him did he snap out of his daze.

"You look lovesick." Namjoon grinned, ducking when Yoongi threw the snacks back. "It's soooooo cute!"

"I'm not!"

Jimin walked over and flopped down on the sofa next to him, leaning his head on the older male's shoulder. "Were you talking to y/n?" He asked, yawning sleepily. Yoongi wasn't the only one suffering with the time difference.

"Uh, yeah." He replied, shifting so he was comfortable as well.

"Yoongi hyung is in love." Namjoon announced making Jimin snicker.

"I know, I saw him smiling from over there." Jimin replied. "It's the most I've ever seen you smile, hyung."

"So now I can't smile without everyone getting on my case?" Yoongi muttered with a frown but his bandmates just laughed. They continued to tease him throughout the day but he took it on the chin. It didn't matter, because he'd get to see you soon and that in itself was worth the mocking. Just.

***

Two weeks passed in a flash, and before he knew it Yoongi was checking into an L.A hotel room the night before KCON. Fortunately he was sharing with Namjoon which guaranteed a good nights rest. Together they dumped their stuff in the room and settled in for the night.

"Yoongi-hyung," Namjoon yawned, stretching on the opposite twin bed. "Shall we order room service?" He fumbled with the hotel menu.

Yoongi mumbled something in agreement as he checked his phone for the umpteenth time, to see if you had texted. You hadn't. He tossed his phone to the side, mentally cursing himself for being so affected by the lack of attention.

"Oh, Jin-hyung is joining us." Namjoon said, momentarily distracting Yoongi from his thoughts. "He met up with the TXT guys and he's on his way back, said he'd stop by."

Yoongi felt his stomach flip. "TXT?"

"Yeah they're staying at this hotel also." That meant you were staying at this hotel too. Combined with the fact that you hadn't got in contact only made him feel worse. His insides churned.

Jin joined them some time later after their food had arrived. He sat on Namjoon's bed as Yoongi and Namjoon tucked in to their food, face buried in his phone. "Those rookie kids are a mess." He told no one in particular. "They're so nervous for their interview tomorrow."

"Really?" Namjoon laughed, sipping some water. "Is it because they don't speak english?"

"Yeah." Jin replied. "I told them they'd be fine, Yoongi sucks at English and he manages."

"Your English is terrible too." Yoongi protested with a glare, both Jin and Namjoon laughed.

"I ran into y/n, too." Jin said, startling Yoongi a little. "She says hello."

That's it? That's the entire message? Yoongi frowned. He had expected something a little more, at least. Pushing the thought from his mind he attempted to distract himself with his meal. Once he was finished and still thoroughly focused on the sting of mild rejection he excused himself from Jin and Namjoon with the excuse of needing some fresh air. He decided a late night walk might clear his head.

Sejin would not be best pleased that Yoongi was walking around late at night, unaccompanied. What the manager didn't know couldn't hurt him, Yoongi thought as he made his way down to the swimming pool area. It was void of any other hotel guests given the lateness of the hour. It was peaceful.

The pool had lights underneath the water, giving it a relaxing glow. Combined with a cool breeze in the warm night air it was enjoyable. Yoongi sat on the edge of one of the sun loungers, leaning on his knees. It felt almost surreal to be literally in the same building as you but unable to see you.

He was unsure how much time had passed as he sat there, overthinking. "Namjoon told me you went for a walk, I figured you'd be here."

Yoongi looked up to see you standing there, a sweet smile on your face. It had been so long since he'd seen you in the flesh for a moment he thought he was dreaming. "How'd you know?" He smirked.

"I know you." You said simply. "You wouldn't go too far because you wouldn't want to piss off Sejin, you like quiet places so the hotel is a no and you like looking at the sky. So, hence the pool."

"Am I that predictable?"

"I wish you were." You teased. "Still, it's nice to see you."

"You too." He replied quietly. "Sit with me."

You did as he asked, mimicking his position on the sun lounger opposite. He swivelled round so he was facing you rather than the pool. Your knees brushed up against each other as he moved. "How are you? It's been a while..."

"Same old Yoongi, you know me." He couldn't help but study your entire face as he talked, like it was the first time seeing you again. "What about you, Miss Manager?"

"I'm so busy I think I've aged 5 years in the last 5 months." You sighed. "Right now is the first moment of the day I've had to myself." The thought that you came looking for him the second you could made up for the lack of communication from you earlier.

"Thanks for stalking me when you could, I guess." He taunted. You rolled your eyes but with a smile on your face, nudging him playfully with your knee. He noticed you shivered slightly. You were only in a shirt. "Are you cold?"

"I'm fine." You insisted. As if on cue you shivered again. Yoongi didn't need to think twice, he was slipping out of his oversized bomber jacket and leaning across the gap between you, slipping it around your shoulders. "No, Yoongi. Now you'll be cold." You tried to shrug the jacket off but he held it shut at the front of your chest.

"Don't worry about me." He held your gaze for a moment, enjoying just being in close proximity to you. He could smell your perfume this close. It was familiar, images of you underneath him in various locations flashed through his mind.  

"Thank you." You almost whispered. Yoongi didn't let go of the jacket.

"Y/N?" He wasn't sure what he was asking. You looked from his eyes to his lips and then back again. He knew you were thinking exactly what he was. It was as if you were both magnets, being pulled in towards each other when your lips met. Delicate at first, tentative, almost nervous. Like a first kiss. His hand slipped from your front to slide up the side of your neck, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

Unwillingly he pulled away, some rational part of his brain kicking into gear telling him how reckless it was to kiss you in a public space, even if it was deserted. It was always possible someone might be watching.

"Wow," You said breathlessly and he smirked. "It's been...a while since we've done that."

The two of you shared a small, slightly embarrassed laugh.

"I couldn't help it. Sorry."

"I liked it."

"I like you." Yoongi said without thinking, caught up in the moment. Your cheeks tinged pink at his declaration.

"Still?" You asked, avoiding his gaze shyly. "I thought you would have found some other staff member to fool around with by now."

"Nah, Sejin's not my type." He joked. "You are."

"I like it when you're like this Yoongi."

"Like what?"

"Nice." You squeezed his knee affectionately. He placed his hand on top of yours.

"Are you sharing a room tonight?" He asked. "I believe I was promised some champagne."

You grinned. "No, I'm alone tonight. Shall we go up?" He nodded and followed you inside.

***

Your hotel room was smaller than Yoongi's, given that it only had one double bed instead of two singles. Not that he cared. The second the door clicked shut he caged you in against the wood, palms pressed either side of your face. He wasn't going to wait a second longer. He couldn't wait a second longer.

His lips attached themselves to yours greedily, pressing his body into you as he kisses you. Yoongi can't help it, months of pent up want and frustration clouding his mind. You seemed just as desperate also, hands already sliding up the sides of his shirt to touch the bare skin underneath.

"You have no - " He kissed the side of your mouth. " - idea - " His lips moved to your jaw. "- how fucking badly - " Mouth on your neck he sucked the skin between his teeth, nipping at the flesh ever so slightly. "- I've wanted this."

You moaned in response, squeezing his sides. "Me too."

Briefly, he pulled away stripping his jacket and your t-shirt off of you practically growling at the sight of your tits. His memory of them was good but nothing compared to the real thing. He kissed them as he unclasped your bra, hands instinctively cupping them once they were free.

He dropped to his knees, pulling down your leggings and panties, giving you a moment to step out of them leaving you completely bare. Yoongi stayed in this position but hooked one of your thighs up and over his shoulder before diving straight to your leaking core and slipping his tongue between the folds. He felt you almost lose your balance, overcome with the sensation.

"Your pussy is perfect." He said, pushing a finger into you. "I've been fucking dreaming about it."

Your laugh turned into a long moan when he resumed licking your clit, pumping his finger in time with his mouth. Hands tangled in his hair, encouraging him as your hips rocked against his face. After he added a second finger it didn't take long for you to cum hard against his tongue. Yoongi groaned feeling you clench around him. He looked up at you, smirking.

"Jesus christ, Yoongi." You sighed, chest and cheeks both flushed from your orgasm.

"Good?"

"Better than good. Perfect. Amazing." You laughed making him chuckle. He removed his fingers from you and stood, kissing you sweetly on the lips. "Can you get naked now?" You whined. He nodded but didn't move right away, embedding the memory of you naked and pressed up against the door into his brain.

He shed his jeans and t-shirt quickly and you couldn't resist palming his cock over his boxers. Yoongi placed his hand over yours, kissing you deeply as you worked him. His cock was rock hard and any bit of relief felt amazing. "Where do you want it?" He hummed against your lips.

"Anywhere. Just want you."

He walked you backwards to the bed, pushing you on to the soft mattress and ridding himself of his last remaining piece of clothing. His knee went between your thighs spreading them open as he settled between them. Suddenly he remembered that it had been months since he'd last slept with you. It's possible you had had a partner or worse, partners since him.

"Do I need a condom?" He asked in a low voice. You bit your lip and shook your head no.

"Not if you don't want to. You're the only one I've been with in ages."

A wild possessive part of him roared to life, pleased that no one else had got to have you like this. His cock teased at your entrance and you moaned loudly when he dipped the tip of it inside you teasingly. "You want me huh?" He smirked. "Want me to fuck you like old times?"

"Don't care. I need you Yoongi." You whined with a buck of your hips, trying to encourage him as you clung to his shoulders desperately.

He pushed his entire length in agonisingly slowly causing you to practically whimper as you adjusted to his size. Stilling for a moment buried to the hilt he paused, savouring the moment as you made eye contact. "You're so beautiful y/n." He said quietly. Before you could reply he rocked his hips, delighted at the way your eyes closed in pleasure.

He pressed his face into the crook of your neck as he glided in and out of you, going much slower than usual. Yoongi didn't want the moment to end. His orgasm was already bubbling under the surface and he was fighting not to come too early. "How does it feel baby?" He hadn't meant to use the pet name but it just slipped out. In this moment it felt like you were his.

"So good, Yoongi." You moaned. "I want more. Harder, fuck me harder."

Yoongi gave in immediately moving just as you had begged him to. He found the spot in you that made your eyes roll and he drove into it relentlessly, determined to make you fall apart again. "Feels so good. Pussy so tight and wet for me." He grunted.

"For you." You repeated with a gasp. "I'm always so wet for you Yoongi."

"Fuck yeah you are." His pace quickened and when he felt you lock your legs around his waist he knew you were about to come. Angling his hips so that his body was pressed against your clit you cried out his name as you orgasmed. "I'm cumming too, fuck." He groaned, loudly into your neck as he spilled cum into you, eventually slowing his motions to a stop.

Once both of you had regained your breath he rolled off of you, laying on the bed beside you. He didn't know what possessed him but he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together, wanting some kind of closeness still.

To his surprise you nuzzled in to him, placing a small kiss on his jaw. "That was amazing. I can barely think straight."

"I missed that." He mused. You gave him another kiss before rolling of the bed and heading to the bathroom to clean up. Yoongi lay on the bed, body and mind not entirely back to normal yet. He was still in the same position when you returned a few minutes later. "Come here." He said lowly, opening his arms to you.

You crawled into them, placing a head on his chest. Yoongi pulled the comforter over your naked bodies. "Don't you have to go?" You asked.

"Yeah. At some point. Not yet though." He replied, pulling you close. This was unfamiliar to him, you'd never really cuddled together after sex before. This time it was different and he knew it. Things had changed. He'd allowed himself to be more open to you and in return you'd let him in again.

"You're so much nicer to be around when you're not pretending to hate me." You teased, a gleeful tint in your eye. You went to poke his chest but he grabbed your hand before you got the chance to.

"It doesn't give you licence to be the mean one."

You just smiled at him and went quiet for a few moments. "Is everything you said before still true? About liking me?"

Yoongi gulped, suddenly feeling very nervous and vulnerable again. "Yes."

"You know I like you too, right?"

"In that conversation you literally said you hated me." He laughed.

"I was angry at you!"

"Still."

"Over the past few months you've just been different. I like this side of you. You're sweet. You just have this icy exterior sometimes and I don't know why." You said softly. Yoongi was half embarrassed, half secretly pleased at your compliment. "The first time I met you I thought you were so intimidating." You chuckled.

"Seriously?" He scoffed. "Why?"

"You didn't smile once the entire meeting. And you're hot."

Yoongi recalled that day in his mind, being dragged to lunch, annoyed with himself at how attractive he found you. "I remember being annoyed at how pretty you are." He smiled.

"Annoyed?! Why?"

"Because I wanted you and I couldn't deal with it." He laughed at himself. "Idiot, huh?"

"Yeah, kinda." You joined in his laughter. "It makes sense now."

"What does?"

"Your weird hot and cold behaviour. You didn't want to like me. Technically you're not allowed to like me. I get it now. You were just conflicted."

"So you're not mad anymore?" He smirked.

"No." You smiled.

"When can I see you again?" He asked before he could stop himself.

"Maybe we can find some time tomorrow?" You offered. Yoongi nodded.

"Tomorrow."

*** Yoongi regretfully tiptoed out of your room some time after you'd fallen asleep, holding back a silent smile at the untouched bottle of champagne sitting in the mini fridge. You'd both known it was only an excuse to be together anyway. He gave your sleeping form one last glance on the way out, a wave of affection surging through his chest.

Namjoon stirred when Yoongi re-entered their shared suite. The room was in darkness and the younger male sleepily flicked his bedside light on. "Whoosere?" He mumbled, half sitting up in bed. Yoongi tried not to laugh at the irony of asking that question with your eyes closed.

"It's me, Namjoon." Yoongi whispered, quietly crossing over to him.

"What time is it?"

"Late. Go back to sleep." He leaned over Namjoon to flick his light back off but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Were you with y/n?" Namjoon asked, voice still husky with sleep. He yawned and Yoongi nodded, opting to sit on the side of his friends bed. "How was it?" Namjoon smirked.

"Fine." Yoongi tried to bite back yet another smile.

"Fine?" Namjoon smirked harder.

"I'm back in the good books, if that's what you mean."

"And it's all thanks to Kim Namjoon: part time idol, part time therapist." Namjoon teased with a small laugh. It was no secret to Yoongi how much help and advice his younger (but wise beyond his years) bandmate had offered him. Not that he was about to give him all the credit.

"Yeah, yeah." He said, pretending to roll his eyes. "You're a genius."

"Why does it feel like you're being sarcastic?" Namjoon joked.  He sat up straighter in bed, feeling a little more awake. "What happens with you and her now? Are you dating?"

"I don't know." Yoongi answered truthfully. "It's not like either of us have much time for it. After tomorrow I don't know when I will even see her again." He sighed.

"You could always do the long distance thing." Namjoon offered, ever the optimist. Yoongi knew that with his lifestyle and career that is almost always the only option he has when it comes to dating. The risks of getting caught get substantially higher however. At least one night stands and flings are easier to keep from the public. Although he can't remember the last time he had one of those before you.

"Yeah, maybe." He said quietly.

"Hyung, you don't see it but you're totally different when you talk to her. All of us have noticed it. She makes you happy. Someone like that might be worth struggling for."

Yoongi sat silently, letting the weight of Namjoon's words sink in. He certainly had a point. "Yeah." Is all he can manage to get out, suddenly feeling a little emotional.

Namjoon finally looked at the alarm clock and swore loudly as he registered the time. "We have to be up in two hours, sorry Yoongi but therapy hours are over."

Yoongi laughed a little before wishing him goodnight and climbing into his own bed, trying not to overthink things as usual.

*** He knew he was being ridiculous. Logically, he understood why he was feeling that way. But it didn't help quell the bitter, ugly emotion rising like bile in his throat at the sight of you being affectionate with a man that wasn't him. Yoongi was jealous.

The unidentified male was a member of staff and foreign, like you. Yoongi guessed he was a sound engineer by the headphones and clipboard he had. You were laughing together, his arm loosely slung around your waist. It made Yoongi feel insecure - another ugly emotion he hated admitting to - maybe you liked this man more than him. Surely it would be easier for you to be with someone who spoke your native tongue.

Surely you'd want to be with someone who can openly put his arm around you like that.

He turned away and frowned, unwilling to watch anymore. His chest felt hot and tight. Jimin was talking as they waited in the backstage corridor and he tried desperately to focus on him but his brain was screaming at him to peek back at you again. He caved.

The guy held you in an embrace now that looked a little too intimate for Yoongi's liking. Before he could stop himself he was walking, headed in your direction, ignoring Jimin call his name.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but can I please talk to y/n?" He found himself asking you and the stranger. You looked completely startled.

"Uh, s-sure Yoongi." You said cautiously. "Andy, excuse me for a minute. I'll come find you later?" You told your friend. Even that sentence annoyed Yoongi. 'Andy' just smiled and nodded, stepping away to give you and Yoongi some privacy.

"Follow me." Yoongi told you, and although you still looked incredibly confused you did as he asked. He walked briskly, taking a turn down the hallway he remembered BangTan's dressing room was down. He stopped at the door opposite, looked left and right to ensure the hallway was empty and roughly dragged you inside.

"Yoongi what's going on?" You exclaimed. "This is a bathroom." You pointed out as you took in your surroundings. Yoongi shut and locked the door behind him. "Why - "

Yoongi couldn't help himself, before you could even finish your sentence, he grabbed you and roughly pushed you up against the door, his lips going straight to yours. Instinctively you kissed him back, so familiar with having your lips on his. His hands held your wrists up against the cool metal of the door.

"Who was he?" He asked gruffly, pressing his entire body in to yours, chest to chest, dark eyes boring into you.

"Who?"

"Andy." He frowned. "I thought you hadn't been with anyone but me."

"He's my friend." You say quietly. "What's the issue?"

"He didn't look like a friend." Yoongi scoffed. His head dipped down to capture your lips again in a heated kiss. He let go of the vice grip on your hands and gripped your hips, pulling you into him. "You let all your friends touch you like that?" He murmured as he pulled away, opting to kiss his way to your neck.

"Like what Yoongi?" You replied breathlessly. "I didn't do anything."

"He was all over you." Yoongi said into your neck. He started to slowly suck on the tender flesh there, taking it gently between his teeth. He felt your breathing begin to labour as he popped open the button on your jeans.

"You can't leave a mark." You told him, almost in a moan. He just hummed in acknowledgement, already suspecting that it's too late for warnings considering the pace he was going.

"Do you want him to touch you here too?" He asked huskily as his hand slipped in front of your underwear, cupping your entire core. "Is he next, after me?" Yoongi asked, pulling away to look at you for an answer.

"It's not like t-that." You stuttered when he started to rub you over your panties. "Don't be jealous."

"Hmm," He said, pushing your underwear to the side so he was able to touch your bare skin, fingers going to your clit instantly. You hissed at the contact. "How can I not be huh?"

You were silent as Yoongi started to rotate his fingers, keeping a languid pace. His head fell to your neck and he resumed his work on red mark that was starting to form, deliberately ignoring your earlier warning. He was going to mark you. If he couldn't have you publicly this was the next best thing.

"Yoongi," You whined, trying to wiggle away from him but he only held you tighter.

"This is so Andy can see he can't touch you like that." He growled, fingers beginning to go ever so slightly faster. Once he was happy that he'd sucked a dark enough bruise into you he pulled back, returning to your lips. "I want you." He breathed. "You have no idea how badly I want you. The way you look is so unfair."

You were too turned on to be mad at him. "I have an idea of how much." You smirked, rolling your hips into his very prominent erection.

"Do you have time to do this here?" He asked lowly.

"No," You murmured, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure - his hand hadn't stopped its ministrations. "But I want it. I want you too."

In one quick motion Yoongi withdrew his hand and flipped you around so that your chest was flush with the door. Your jeans were soon pushed down to your knees before he nudged apart your feet with one swift push of his thigh. "Put your hands on the door and don't move them."

He was quick to pull his cock out and push in to you. There was no time for teasing and foreplay, Yoongi was sure it wouldn't be long before people started looking for both of you. He set a brutal pace and you were gasping beneath him, hands balling into fists against the door.

"No one fucks you like this, do they?" He panted, squeezing your hips for emphasis.

"Fuck - fuck, no." You choked out. "They don't - ugh - it's just you."

"Good girl." He's close now, hips relentlessly smacking against your ass. "I want you to cum, show me you're not lying. Show me I don't have a reason to be jealous again."

"Yoongi." You moaned loudly. He hoped there was no one on the other side of the door because you definitely would have been heard. "You don't have a reason to be jealous."

"Give it to me." He groaned. "Fucking give it to me, cum for me."

He drove in to you with such a force you stumbled a little, catching yourself on the door. You didn't have time to tell him you were cumming but he could feel it, pussy clenching tightly around him. Yoongi barely let you ride out your orgasm before he was cumming himself, as deep inside you as ever.

His head fell against your back as you both panted, spent. "Didn't take you to be the jealous type." You breathed with a laugh. He carefully pulled out of and went to grab some nearby tissue.

"I didn't like people touching you like that." He grumbled, unwilling to meet your eye as he handed you something to wipe down with. He felt stupid for letting his emotions get the better of him.

"You've got nothing to worry about." You said as you cleaned yourself. "There's no one else. I'm not sleeping with anyone else, that wasn't a lie."

"That might change though." Yoongi said, more so to himself as if he just realised it for the first time.

"If it does, you'll be the first to know." You pulled your jeans upwards as you walked to the mirror to fix your hair. "Jesus christ, my neck Yoongi!" You exclaimed, straining to see the darkening red mark. He peered at it behind you. That would definitely bruise, he thought hiding his grin.

"You can hide it with your hair." He shrugged.

As soon as the two of you were back to being presentable, Yoongi peeked out the door first to ensure a discreet getaway for you both. The coast appeared clear and he slipped out, you close behind. Before you went your separate ways you grabbed his hand. "Steal some of my time later?" You ask.

"Of course." He said and you smiled. As he started to walk away you shouted something that made him feel half embarrassed, half relieved.

"By the way, that guy I was with? He's gay!"

***

After the performance there were several press junkets the BangTan had to attend. Yoongi always found them marginally draining, especially in foreign countries. His English wasn't fantastic (although it had improved vastly since debut days) and it took a lot of mental strength to remain focused. Since they were the main act of KCON they had the most interviews. He was glad when they were over.

It was evening time when they arrived back at the hotel. He'd made plans with Namjoon and Jungkook to do some writing with a few ideas Jungkook had. Yoongi felt like a proud older brother whenever Jungkook took an interest in this side of making music. They holed up in him and Namjoon's room to work.

Yoongi was trying his best to text you discretely, keeping his phone turned away from his bandmates as best he could. He was making an attempt to meet you later, given that the next day would be the last of yours in LA. However it didn't work, Jungkook caught him rather easily.

"Yoongi hyung we're supposed to be working." Jungkook reprimanded from behind his macbook as he sat cross legged on the bed.

"Two guesses as to who he's texting." Namjoon smirked, exchanging knowing looks with Jungkook.

"Shut up." Mumbled Yoongi. "I can do two things at once."

"Like waiting to perform and fucking a bathroom?" Namjoon snickered, already laughing at Yoongi's wide eyed stare. "You idiot."

"What?!" Jungkook exclaimed, a shocked expression appearing on his face.

"I sincerely regret sharing that with you Namjoon, you dick." Yoongi swore at him.

"You are crazy, hyung." Jungkook replied with a shake of his head. "What if you'd got caught?!"

Yoongi just shrugged, trying to act like he didn't care. Obviously he would be mortified if he'd got caught but the truth was he didn't. "It was worth it. You'll know if you ever lose your virginity one day Kook." He grinned.

"I'm not a virgin!" Jungkook whined, making both the older boys laugh. He wasn't and hadn't been for a while but they still liked to tease him as he was the youngest. "I hate you guys."

"I won't judge you, it's okay." Yoongi teased.

"You should be careful though hyung, this girl is making you reckless." Namjoon warned, his tone a lot more serious now. "All jokes aside you shouldn’t pull a stunt like that again."

"God, ok. I won't. I won't even have the opportunity. She's leaving tomorrow."

"I know you like her, but don't let her make you stupid. Stop thinking with your dick."

"I think it's too late for that." Jungkook mumbled under his breath.

"Watch it, kid." Yoongi grumbled. He felt foolish knowing he let his bandmates, his leader down like that. Namjoon was right he shouldn't be so reckless. "Look, it won't happen again."

"You were lucky this time, Yoongi hyung. You might not be next time."

Yoongi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling anxiety constrict on his insides. He needed to be smarter about this before he risked his career any further.

chapter 03 ↩           ↪  chapter 05  

masterlist

#bts fanfic #bts ff #bts fanfiction #bts smut #yoongi fanfic #yoongi ff #yoongi fanfiction #yoongi smut #yoongi angst

[staylovehearts]

Enough?

Lee Felix x Reader

Word Count ~3.9 k

Summary: You never wanted Felix to find out that the fans he loves so much can be so cruel.

Tags: angst, hate comments, self-doubts, Felix is an idol in this one, and you’re like his not so secret girlfriend, the company is chill but the fans aren’t, mentions of other stray kids members

It's a simple routine. As you unlock your phone you immediately swipe away about twenty different notifications from different social media accounts without even looking at them. You are not even sure why you even still bother with an Instagram and all of that. Maybe you should just go private again. Or delete everything. But that would feel like defeat. Like giving up. So instead you just try to not look at the mean words people are spouting at you on the daily. When it first started you still tried to report every single comment. Blocked every person who insulted you. But once the comments became too many to count you gave up on that as well.

But it's fine. Ignore them all. Swipe it away. Don't look at it. Focus on the nice comments. The people that spammed flame emojis under your recent Instagram selfie. The ones leaving nice comments and replies. Or at least those, that seem neutral. The ones that like to joke around or post memes. Damn, even the people that drop Loona fancams under your tweets are bearable.

But you can ignore them all for the sake of the one message that you actually want to read.

cuddly coala boy: are you going to be watching me later tonight?? i hope you're not mad that i had to cancel our skype date because of this :((

The text came at exactly 4:35 in the morning. Well, 4:35 in the morning in your timezone. That means for him it must have been... wait, what's the time difference again? Where even is he right now? You are too lazy to actually look up timezones right now to properly calculate the difference, but you decide to assume that it was a reasonable time. Well, at least you hope it was fairly reasonable. With the way his schedule works it's not unusual for him to send you messy texts full of typos past midnight when he is exhausted from a day of dance practice and vocal training and he just fell into bed after a quick shower and decided to send you a short text, already half asleep. It's also not rare for him to text you early in the morning. When he is on his way to his first schedule of the day. Early in the morning, but already buzzing with energy and excitement. Sometimes he'd send pictures of his breakfast and gush about the organic canteen. In summer he sent you a picture of the sunrise almost every morning. Because in summer the sun rises so early, that most people sleep through this daily spectacle of nature. But those that are woken up at five in the morning – even earlier on some days – never miss out on a sunrise. And you get to see those pictures of the sunrise in a different country, mostly after you've already missed the sunrise in your own location. Most of the pictures weren't even that special, some of them even too blurry to make out more than washed-out colours and the rough outlines of buildings. On some mornings the sky was too cloudy to show more than a lighter stripe of colour beneath a layer of grey and blue. But even on those days, Felix made it a point to show you the sunrise. And you have all of those pictures saved. Because you are just so goddamn whipped for this sunshine of a boy who sends you pictures of the actual sun every morning alongside a happy good morning text.

I'm not mad at all!! I know that work comes first, I'm sure we'll be able to make up for that skype date, have fun later, I might join when I have the time, but you know how the vlive times sometimes don't work with the timezones :/

It takes you a good fifteen minutes or so until you have finally typed up a reply that you are actually confident sending. You don't want to show that you are actually upset. You don't want to make him feel bad for having to cancel your plans. But it's probably obvious that you feel a little bitter about this. You were understanding the first few times this happened. And of course, you are still understanding. You knew that things would probably be like this. But it's becoming harder to hide your disappointment with every skype call that has to be moved to a different date. Every delayed reply. Every day that passes with just a few short messages being sent back and forth during water breaks.

But you know what you signed up for when you not only agreed on trying this long distance relationship, but trying it with an idol on top of the insane timezone difference.

Seeing the friendly kid you used to go to school with on television was already a weird experience. But finding out that he had become a K-Pop star felt like some kind of fever dream. To be completely honest you didn't even know what K-Pop was until you heard Felix – and his bandmate Chan – talk about it on national television. Your mother had called you downstairs in a frenzy to make you watch the special report. When you got there she was pointing at the screen excitedly, asking you over and over look, look, isn't this a boy you used to go to school with? Did you know that he's famous in Korea now? Isn't this crazy? You could certainly agree with her on that last question. To make a long story short, you spent pretty much the rest of that day – and most of the following week – researching every available bit of information about this K-Pop thing and the group your school friend was now part of. You listened to and downloaded their entire discography within one day. Watched every music video and memorised the member's faces within hours. And in the following days, you went through every vlive video and any other content you could find. Saying you were hooked would have been an understatement.

The thought of reaching out to Felix hadn't crossed your mind until maybe two weeks into your newly discovered obsession. It was a suggestion by a friend who you had a couple of courses together with. She had brought the idea up completely nonchalantly as if just hitting up a celebrity is a thing you do every other day. When you expressed that sentiment she just shrugged as if to say dunno, but weren't you friends with him?

Well, she wasn't really wrong about that. But she also wasn't really right. Sure, Felix and you went to school together. You had classes together for three years and you saw him pretty much every other day. But you were never super close to him. Felix was just that kind of person that everyone was on good terms with. He'd sit down at a different table at lunch every day, nerds and jocks were equally welcoming of him. Everyone likes having Felix around, but he wasn't insanely popular either. If someone would have asked about Felix the most common answer would have been something along the lines ah yeah, that guy, he's really nice, we don't really hang out outside of school though. That was just the kind of relationship almost everyone had with him, the kid you'd do group projects or share a lunch table with but not necessarily your first pick when you wanted to put together a group for karaoke that weekend. So Felix and you weren't really friends. You remember being in a group project with him once and for maybe a month or so he even was your lab partner until the seats were switched but that's pretty much it. Maybe you had a bit of a fleeting crush on him back then. Most girls had. The freckles dusting his cheeks and the big brown eyes gave him something adorable and his sunny personality matched that all too well. But back then as well you never considered acting on those feelings and years later you had almost completely forgotten about them altogether.

Tracking him down was hard, but easier than you thought it would be. Of course, the old phone number you managed to find in some inactive group chat didn't work anymore. And any social media you ever knew he had was deactivated. But somehow – through a friend of a friend of an acquaintance – you managed to get in contact with him again. And you immediately remembered what you had liked about Felix back then. Talking to him was as easy as ever. Somehow texting him didn't feel like talking to a celebrity, but just casually catching up with an old friend from school. Texting every once in a while turned into chatting almost daily. Then the phone calls started. Late-night rambling, one of you always tired from the time zone difference. The first face time call was an accident – at least that's what Felix told you – but the second wasn't. And neither was the twentieth. You've lost count at this point.

The status of your relationship with Felix has been a mystery to you for the longest time. It was clear to you that that little fleeting crush you used to have had come back at ten times the intensity and you were pretty sure that Felix must at least enjoy talking to you enough to stay up way past the time where he should go to sleep at. But even with mutual feelings, there were more than enough stones in your way. Him being a celebrity and the several hour time difference plus living in different countries are probably some of the most obvious trials.

Let's just say it worked... somehow. Is still working. Even if it's tough sometimes. You've seen Felix a total of three times since making it official and all of these were just for a couple of days at most. There's always schedules he has to attend, filming to be done. Your schedules don't match up at all, he has so little free time that you have no other choice than to arrange yourself around it. Make amends. Compromise.

That's not really the problem here. The official part of the whole making it official is actually the root of all evil. Surprisingly enough Felix's company actually allowed him to make an official statement regarding his relationship status and confirming that he was indeed seeing someone. Of course, you were never mentioned by name. But someone somewhere must have taken a picture of you and him meeting up that one time. And someone else must have somehow identified you on that picture and shared your Instagram. And twitter. And pretty much any other public social media you had at that point. All of that within an hour of the announcement being made. You never openly confirmed or denied any "rumours" - or maybe accusations is the more fitting term here – about you and Felix dating. But you didn't have to. They knew enough to hate you for "stealing" him away from them. Of course, not all of them hate you. Some are actually supportive of the relationship. Though that's definitely only because they support Felix and want to see him happy, not because anyone really cares about your hurt feelings here. Then there's also a couple of fans that just ignore the whole thing entirely. According to them, it's all just rumours and there is no way that Felix is actually seeing someone. Don't you know he's a sweet gay baby, uwu? He's actually dating [insert whoever they ship him with here]. At least these comments can be kind of entertaining to read. Sometimes. You've scrolled past entire think pieces and page-long analysis of the smallest interactions turned into super definite proof that there is more going on between those two band members behind the scenes. They are delusional, but at least they are mostly harmless.

And then there are people who just straight-up hate you. And maybe that group is not actually as big as it seems but they are loud. So goddamn loud. And they are mean. You have switched accounts, gone private, deleted and remade. Everything in a desperate attempt to hide from the comments. But they always find you somehow. There is no escape.

A new notification pops up on your phone, you try not to look at it as you delete it but you catch enough of a glimpse to get the gist of it.

You're not good enough... you don't deserve to be with him... you should just do him a favour and break up, he's probably just to nice to do it himself.

It's always the same, you've read it hundreds of times, in every possible phrasing and variation. The bad thing though, you're starting to believe that they might actually be right.

The vlive is happening around noon in your time, which is at least kind of reasonable compared to other times that you have set an alarm to watch some kind of stream or award show or anything similar. You actually don't really want to watch, at least not for your own entertainment. Watching these things for yourself has kind of stopped working after... well yeah, after all that's going on. But you know that Felix would be happy, knowing that you are watching him. So maybe you'll tune in for a bit during your lunch break. Just long enough to take a screenshot and send it to him alongside a short text telling him that you are watching the live and that you really aren't mad. You aren't mad. Just scared.

You click the notification as soon as it appears on your phone. One of the few notifications you are actually happy to receive. The app takes a moment to load and by the time the stream is actually playing it's already flooded with viewers. But the picture is not moving. Or at least the three boys in the frame aren't moving. But you notice something in the background, maybe some kind of curtain, being moved by a breeze. Still, the trio keeps up their game for another few seconds until they all break out into wide grins and start talking. Felix is sitting in the middle, wedged in between Jisung and Hyunjin. The three of them are sitting behind a table that has various playthings scattered on the polished hardwood surface. You spot a box filled with Jenga pieces, next to a card game and a rubik’s cube. You take a couple of screenshots and tap out to send one of them to Felix, of course he won't see it right now but you want to prove that you were actually watching live. When you open the stream again they are already building up the Jenga tower while joking around with each other. Even though you didn't plan to stick around you watch them play games and talk for a while. It's nice. You can almost imagine yourself sitting in a room with them, laughing, cracking jokes and enjoying yourself. You can almost imagine being this close to Felix. Both physically close enough to be in a room with him as well as close enough for him to introduce you to his friends and be allowed to hang out with the group. It's almost in your reach. Almost perfect. Almost.

Felix is messing with the rubik’s cube, trying to solve it after he has insisted for minutes that he knows how it's done, Hyunjin is stopping the time on his phone while Jisung is going through the comments. You yourself haven't dared to take a look at them yet. Even here you aren't save. Most of the time they are flying by so fast that you can't even finish reading one before the next one jumps into vision.

Where is-

can you say hi to-

omg i-

notice me ple-

Most of it is short comments like this, some are just emojis (mostly every different kind of heart there is), wild key smashing and a plethora of "i love you"s in different languages. But some stick out. Some are different. The username is the first thing you notice about that one specific comment.

felix's_girlfriend

When you first made your account you thought about claiming that name for yourself. Just as a joke. But it was already taken. And so was felix's_wife, ilovefelix, freckleslover or any other possibility you could think of. Even when you started adding numbers to the names you couldn't get them. There are at least fifteen people using some variation on Felix's girlfriend as their username. You stopped trying after that.

Jisung probably spots the comment about at the same time as you did.

"Yo, someone with the username felix's_girlfriend just asked when you will finally do a dance cover of the latest Twice song", he says. Or at least something along the lines. You practised Korean to be able to at least get the gist of what's going on when they are talking, but you can't always understand everything. But you sure do understand the way Felix's head just whips up. Like that of a puppy delighted to see its owner coming back home.

"She's watching?", he asks. This time you understand clearly. Jisung looks back at him for a moment, a mixture of shock and surprise on his face. Felix isn't supposed to talk about you. Not here.

"It's just that person's username", he answers, after a moment of silence. Felix's bright smile drops for a moment, but then he nods his head and laughs as if someone just made an amazing joke. The boys continue talking about the Twice comeback and other promotions that are currently going on as if nothing happened. Hyunjin rambles about Got7 while Jisung jokes about how Seungmin is probably really excited about Day6. But the people in the comments are not willing to let go of what happened quite as easily.

I hope that bitch just disappears someone writes. Felix should break up with her, she's not good enough. You can't pretend to not notice it any longer. And maybe the boys noticed too, at least they don't read out any other comments after that one. But you don't really stick around for that long after. You are clearly not welcome here.

The thing is, that you never wanted to drag Felix into this mess. Of course, he is already a part of it, but you didn't want to let him see all of the ugly things that they are saying about you two. Well, in the end it's mostly you they are mad at. Some fans have commented that they are mad or disappointed that Felix would date someone, but they don't say the same things about him that they say about you. And you're glad. You wouldn't wish this on anyone. Especially not Felix, who is always so bright and full of love for his fans. You know that he loves that. He's said it numerous times. And even when he doesn't say it with words, it's obvious. He says it with the way he always smiles and waves at the camera, with all that he pours into performances, with the energy and passion he gives. He loves them.

Felix has never said the l-word to you.

Your phone rings about three hours later. You are hesitant to pick up when you see his name light up on the screen, but you don't want to lead him to believe that you are mad at him or anything.

"Hey there, why are you calling? Isn't it the middle of the night where you are?" You try to make your voice sound cheerful. Like you are a little surprised that he is calling you at that time but all in all happy that he is calling you. Confused, but a pleasant kind of surprise. You're probably not all that convincing, but maybe it's enough since this is just a phone call. Not even video this time.

"Ah, I just wanted to check in on you", Felix replies. His voice sounds a little bit drowsy. A soft kind of deep rumble. Bedroom voice, but not the sexy kind. The soft I'm about to curl up and fall asleep voice. You've heard that before, fell asleep to that soft voice talking to you over the phone. For a moment you almost crack. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you blink them away quickly.

"Oh, I'm fine, just got back home a while ago, going to make myself some food soon. How was your day, did that live go well?"

"Hmm, did you watch it?"

"Oh, just for a bit. I was... busy." Somehow you feel guilty saying it like that. Sure, you did only watch maybe about half of it. You told him in advance that you probably wouldn't watch the whole thing. But you have a feeling that there is a reason he is asking. And you are purposely avoiding it. Felix stays silent for a moment, maybe hesitant to bring it up himself. And for a moment you hope that he just won't. That you can both pretend that everything is alright and just joke around like usual. When he finally does speak his voice sounds so sad.

"There were some... not so nice comments about you. Did you see them?"

You consider lying but you don't see the point in it. He probably knows that you have seen them.

"Yeah."

"Do they often say things like that to you?"

"... yeah."

"That's... awful. I'm so sorry."

You take a deep breath. You really never wanted him to find out about how cruel the fans he loves so much can really get. Of course he knew that not everyone approved of him having a relationship and of course he's seen some of the gossip articles that the tabloids write about you. But what the fans say behind the protection of anonymity is so much worse than that.

"It's not your fault", you mutter finally. You can hear Felix take a deep breath as well.

"You don't- you don't believe what they say, do you? You know that I would never break up with you just like that. You are enough. More than I could ever ask for."

You aggressively blink your eyes a couple of times and tilt back your head. You don't want to cry. It always becomes obvious in your voice when you start crying and you really don't want to worry him any more.

"I know, but it's nice to hear. Thank you."

There's noises in the background. Some loud clatter, like dishes falling over and then several voices talking over each other. You haven't thought about it yet but Felix must be calling you from the dorm. There is the sound of a door being opened, a little noise of surprise and then it's being shut close again. Probably someone looking for Felix.

"You should probably hang up soon", you mumble. Not because you want him to, but because you know that the longer this goes on the harder it will be for you to not burst into tears.

"I guess. I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, I'd like that very much."

"Great then... good night."

"Goodnight."

"Hey, (y/n), I love you."

"I love you too, Felix."

#stray kids #stray kids writing #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #lee felix #felix #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #lee felix fluff #lee felix fanfic #lee felix imagine #lee felix scenario #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

[our-kendrick]

'Painful at times': Anna Kendrick on delving into her 'love life' in new series

© Jenny Cooney

Read here, or below.

Anna Kendrick is facing a conundrum. And it’s one that has left the 34-year-old actor uncharacteristically tongue-tied as she sits in her LA home in isolation, talking over Zoom about Love Life, her first television series.

Looking much the same way she describes herself to her 7.3 million Twitter followers – “pale, awkward and very, very small��� – she is no stranger to self-deprecating humour, as a recent tweet suggests: “I guess I’ll never be able to lie to myself again about all the shit I would do if I just had the time.”

But the petite, Oscar-nominated star of Up in the Air and the Pitch Perfect franchise is also notoriously protective of her personal life and has never confirmed she’s even dating cinematographer Ben Richardson, whom she reportedly met while making the 2013 indie film Drinking Buddies.

Which brings us to the question that’s just brought the conversation to a halt: how can she talk about her romantic-comedy series without talking about her own love life? “Well, as far as keeping it private, it isn’t easy, as you are proving right now,” she responds. “But that’s just always how it’s been for me.”

With that awkward moment over, Anna returns to her chatty self as we talk about her other Love Life, the Stan anthology series. Anna’s character, Darby, a museum tour guide, is the subject of the first 10-episode season as we follow her relationships from first love to lasting love via everything in between.

“The real arc that we wanted was to show how we learn from each relationship,” she says. “Even though our relationships end, it doesn’t mean they are complete failures. People come into your life and you grow and they change you and what you learn from them might be really positive or it might be negative.”

The series shares DNA with Sex and the City and Girls as we watch a group of friends clumsily navigating the messy reality of pairing up. “It was painful at times and I cringed at the way that I, and so many women that I know, dated guys in our early 20s – the way we were so awkward and needy and clingy,” Anna says.

“Looking back now, it’s like, ‘Oh god, I acted like such a jerk in that relationship.’ Or all the times I didn’t feel strong enough to say, ‘You can’t speak to me that way.’ I’m just so happy that I’m clearer now about what I will accept from people in my life.”

As Anna grows more relaxed, we circle back to the dating themes of the show and how they resonated in her life. “When I was maybe 14 or 15, somebody gave me this specific example, that if you’re ever in a car with a guy, and he’s driving, and as a joke he lets go of the wheel and makes you grab it, that is not a guy you want to be with,” she recalls.

“He might say, ‘Hey, I’m just joking, why are you being so sensitive?’ But really, he’s testing your boundaries and what you’re willing to put up with and trying to make you uncomfortable."

“It sounds silly, but I dated a guy when I was 19 who tickled me all the time and I don’t like being tickled, because it makes me claustrophobic. So I kept saying, ‘This is a problem for me. Please don’t do it.’ "

“But he kept doing it and I thought, ‘He’s the guy with the steering wheel!’ So, I broke up with him and he told everyone it was because he tickled me. I was like, ‘No, dude, I broke up with you because you didn’t respect me!’ ”

Anna Kendrick grew up in the sleepy US East Coast town of Portland, Maine, the daughter of a history teacher and an accountant. At age six she scored the lead role in a community-theatre production of Annie. By 10, she was insisting her parents make the five-hour drive into New York City for stage auditions. And at 12 she scored a Tony nomination in the Broadway musical High Society.

Eventually, the fresh-faced brunette with big blue eyes transitioned into films, including the four Twilight Saga movies (2009-12). She has also put her theatrical roots to good use in musical films, including Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods (2014) and the 2016 animated film Trolls, including eight songs on the soundtrack.

Love Life also implies sex life, although Anna says she really hadn’t thought that through when she first signed on. “When we started filming, it dawned on me that in every single episode I was going to be doing a kissing scene or a sex scene with someone brand new,” she says, rolling her eyes. “It was definitely weird to know that we were going to meet and within a week we were going to be in bed pretending to have sex!”

That doesn’t mean, however, she’ll be going the full Kim Cattrall or Lena Dunham on the show. “My personal feelings on nudity – that I’m not really interested in nudity for me – stayed the same. I’ve never had a problem with simulated sex scenes – that feels like it’s about the character, whereas I only get one body, so nudity is more about me.”

Anna’s on a roll with this new screen persona, recently playing a woman who falls for a talking sex doll in the quirky, bite-sized series Dummy, available on the Quibi streaming platform.

“That gave me a new appreciation for people who are owners of sex dolls because it turns out that a sex doll is really heavy lifting, so there’s a certain level of commitment,” she says in typically deadpan manner.

“I have no judgment and I seriously tip my cap to those people,” she adds, grinning. “But the creator and director of Dummy, Tricia Brock, also directed an episode of Love Life where Darby uses a sex toy and I said, ‘Tricia, do you just like to have me doing something gross every time we work together?’ ”

As video chats become more the norm, stars are often sharing intimate glimpses into their homes. Not Anna, who is sitting in front of a blank white wall looking surprisingly glammed up thanks to a good blow-dry, immaculate make-up and a pretty floral dress.

“I could say I’ve been exercising every day and cooking,” she says, “but there’s definitely been days where I feel helpless because there’s something really terrible happening out there and I’m powerless to change it.”

For now, she’s happy to use Zoom to keep her loved ones close. “Twice a week I do family movie nights – my parents are in Maine and my brother is in New York – and we pick a movie like Robert Redford’s The Natural or The Princess Bride and all press play at the same time. We’re all texting each other during the movie, which normally would be a no-no, but under these circumstances it’s really sweet.”

That also applies to many of her co-stars. “In the last couple of weeks, I was on a Zoom call with some of the girls from Pitch Perfect [including Rebel Wilson and Anna Camp] and we were talking about when you get in fights with friends, how it’s the worst.

“I said, ‘If you just text me first to warn me you’re mad before you call, that would be great.’ And those girls were like, ‘What? We’re not going to get into a fight!’ I met them when we were around 25 and now we’re talking about being friends until we’re 80.”

It’s not surprising then, that Anna embraced the episode of Love Life devoted to a potential breakup with Darby’s best friend, Sara (Zoe Chao), instead of a beau. “Sometimes your girlfriends are the great loves of your life and they affect you so much,” she says. “I’m just grateful to have those kinds of relationships, too.”

#anna kendrick #interview #love life #2020

[jj-lynn21]

Thank you, Mommy: Bill Skarsgard (AU) & X-reader/Princess

Warnings/Notes: Smut and fluff. Happy Mother’s Day to all kinds of Mommy’s taking care of their loved ones

 Bill reads over a new script he got in the mail. As he reads the script for the third time, he tries out different vernaculars and facial expressions for the character. The writer and director want him to send in a video test screen. This is the new normal for his audition process.

With not much to get in the way of the creative process since everyone is still on lockdown in Los Angeles, screen writers are turning out loads of projects. Meetings with studios and directs are all on video conferencing. The Corona-19 virus may have brought filming to a halt, but it could not stop future projects from starting. Bill gets a load of scripts in the mail daily. He reads over the synopsis before deciding if he wants to dive into the whole thing.

While he is working in his office you spend your time cleaning, reading, and watching either television or a movie. He only locks himself away for four to six hours a day. Sometimes a few hours more or a few less. You think this is definitely better than when he was gone for months at a time. Having Bill with you every day is a good dream you do not want to wake from.

On the other hand, Bill did not know when he would be working again. He has always saved for a rainy day. The two of you were never that extravagant on purchases but since the CDC and WHO suggested the virus could quarantine some people for up to eighteen months, he wanted to make sure money would last. No more random shopping online. He assured you, you had enough cloths. He would stop ripping your under garments off in the throes of passion so you did not have to replace them. He stopped the house keeping service not wanting anyone in and out of your home, so that saved money.  

Bill did not think you needed to worry about money with as much as he saved for a rainy day, but it was best to cut back on just a few things. He still had residual checks being deposited from merchandise sales for movies and memorabilia people were still buying. Right now, movie sales and rentals were up since everyone stayed home more so he still had a steady income. He was glad he opted in for a part of sales over a bigger paycheck.

 You laid on the couch. Feet flung up on the arm. A few pillows under your head in the center. You were reading The Institute by Steven King. Getting the chills, you decided to put the book down to watch something with some comedy in it. You flip on the television to Hulu. The first thing listed is Villains. You giggle that your man’s movie is the number one suggestion, as it should be.

Bill never watches his own movies unless he was forced to do it at a premiere. He fidgets the whole time. Picks out things he thinks he did wrong. Talks to you for hours after about how he could have done things different or better. You tell him how much you loved the acting choices he made. And remind him of the crowd’s reaction. He still insists he could have done better.

Since he should be in his office for three more hours you decide to watch. You were not able to make the film festival premiere, so you never got to watch this film yet. You prop your pillow against the arm rest so you can comfortably snuggle in to watch Villains.

You giggle a few times. Smirk as THAT ACTRESS gropes your man. Of course, you are not jealous. You know it is all part of the job. Plus, you watched him bang a chick up against a wall and do other things much more gratuitous than this. Then you bit your lip when Mickey was handcuffed to the bed letting out a slight, “Oh,”.

When Mickey says, “I know I was a bad boy. But I promise you I’ll be a good boy if you just give me one more chance, Mommy.” Your eyes are wide.

“Fuck,” you murmur as you continue to watch.

You go through the gambit of emotions while watching the rest of the movie. By the end your knees are curled into your chest as you ball your eyes out. Blanket wrapped around you. You use it to bury your head down as you continue to sop.

Bill sits next to you. He takes the controller and turns the television off. Then he pulls you into his arms. “Its just a movie Princess. I’m right here. I’m fine.’

“But Mickey’s not fine, Bill.” You look up at him tears still streaming down your face.

Bill’s lip twitches as he does his best not to laugh, “It wasn’t all sad. I heard you laughing. And um other sounds come out of your mouth while you were watching.” He pauses a few seconds, “Mommy.”

You stare at him frozen for a minute, “How long were you watching?”

“I was watching your reaction for long enough,” Bill grinned.

You blushed, “how was work today? Any great scripts come your way?” You change the subject.

“Some possibilities,” Bill leaned in to give you a lingering kiss. The blanket you held in front of you slid to the floor. “I want to wait until dusk to record a video outside of me as one of the characters that intrigued me.” He kisses you deeper as you slide under him. One of his hands reached to slide off your shorts and panties. “You will always be the best part of my life.”

Bill stood to strip his dress cloths off. He still dressed as if going to an important meeting daily, incase he had to video chat with industry people. You pulled off your shirt and sports bra as you looked up at his perfect body. He leaned down to swoop you up. You held on to his neck kissing along his jaw as he carries you upstairs to the bedroom.

He puts you down in the bed slowly as he hovered a moment with a sweet smile on his face. He grabs a condom from the draw putting it on quickly. Then pushed some phantom hair from your forehead. Repeated himself in a huskier tone that gave you chills, “you will always be the best part of my life.” Bill linked his hands with yours as he slid inside with low groan.

You whine as he filled you. He moved slower than his usual pace. It was almost torcher as your passion built up.

“Are you alright?” he murmured as he looked down at you so innocently.

“Yes,” you murmured looking in his eyes as you figured out why he seemed different.

He picked up speed with his thrusts. You mewed as you dug your fingernails into his back. You rolled your hips harder into his every thrust. He sucks in his breath. Then lets out a whine. He changed potions slight to go into it to hit your g-spot. You moan out as your orgasm hit your body. Head back as your mouth forms the perfect O. Bill breaths heavily as his balls tighten. He groans three times before he finishes. Forehead to yours as he slows.

He kisses you softly before pulls out to lay beside you., “Nothing will ever feel like this again.” Bill tosses the condom in the bedside trashcan. he  pulls you to him holding you closes quietly for while before speaking, “I hope you didn’t mind helping me getting ready, Princess. It wasn’t the same, but it was still good, right?”

You turned to look at him your hand stroked his cheek, “whatever I can do to help. You need me to be your camera person tonight?”

“Can you tape me without giving any emotional response until I am done runny through it a few times?” Bill said seriously.

“I could try,” You murmured.

“How about you make us some dinner while I work.” He kisses your lips before getting up. “I don’t want to ruin anything for you in case I get it.”

“You are so secretive about your projects,” you giggle. “I love it. I’ll make us some bison burgers and poutine. You go do your thing. Break a leg.”

Bill puts on the loosest fitting jeans he has that he uses for auditions. And a dark blue t-shirt. His cloths need to be within the character description but not take away from the dialogue.  He heads out by the pool where the twinkling hanging lights illuminate his face perfectly as he sits in a straight back chair. Two tables are setup in front of him. One for him to rest his hands on fingers laced together, forehead down touching them to start. The other table is where his phone sits on a tripod. He let the camera start filming as he positioned himself. He looks up at the camera. Eyes red as if he had not slept or has been crying. He starts his monologue.

“As I said, we had our first date night. She invited me inside. While we watched a movie, I leaned in to give her a lingering kiss. She turned off the television. I slide her panties off. She took her shirt and bra off as I took my cloths off. I kissed her again and picked her up to take her upstairs. She told me where to go. I laid her down softly. Slowly penetrated her. I know it sounds strange for a first date, but I told her how she would always be,” his voice hitched as tears streamed. “the best part of my life. She was. We had been video chatting for six months before this first date. I thought the sex was good for our first time. I took her slow and easy. I would never hurt her.” He pounded on the table. Paused a few moments reacting as if someone else was speaking. “I’m sorry. After I went outside for a smoke,” He voice crescendos, “I do not fucking know what happened.”

Bill performed this monologue for the camera on his phone a dozen more times different ways before calling it a night. As soon as he slid the glass door open the aroma of what you made him made him smile. He practically floated into the kitchen. You were setting the dining room table when you saw him. His eyes still red.

“No picking at the poutine Bill,” You knew he was going to if you didn’t stop him. “I poured the wine. Come sit. I hope your eyes aren’t red because you didn’t like how your video turned out.”

He walked over wrapping his arms around you, “I still have to edit which performance I want to send but I did the best I could. Had to make myself look upset so that is why my eyes are still all red.” He kisses you on the cheek and sits down.

“If your character cries, I’m going to cry,” you pout.

“Sometimes that’s the point, Princess,” he grins.

The next couple of weeks you notice he is growing some facial hair. Getting a bit sexy scruffy. You love the feel of it when he goes down on you. The more his mustache and slight hair under his chin come in the better you like it. Of course, you love him clean shaven. But something different is great to. It must be for some role he needs to send a tape in for, you think.

You lay in bed snuggling. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.

“We have to make sure we video chat our Mother’s tomorrow.” You remind him.

His lips resting on the back of your neck as he dozes off, he murmurs, “ok.”

When you wake, you sit up and stretch before seeing Bill at the door holding a tray with your breakfast. “Oh, breakfast in bed.” You smile.

Bill puts the tray on your lap. He nuzzles his nose through your crazy morning hair to whisper low and airy, “I wanted to do something special for you today,” he pauses for effect, “Mommy.”

Your body stiffens. You hold your breath a moment. Did you hear him correctly?

“I’ll try to be a good baby boy today, Mommy.” He murmured. “If I’m not you can punish me, Mommy.” He got up and went to the toy chest. Tossed the handcuffs on the end of the bed. “I’ll try to be good, honest.” He snuggles back by your side kissing on your neck.

“Um let Mommy eat baby boy.” You manage. “Be a uh good boy.”

He looks at you pouting, “I need to touch you.”

“After I eat sweet boy or Mommy will have to punish you.” You try not to laugh but you are also very turned on by this little game Bill has devised.

As soon as you drink your coffee and have eaten a few bites of breakfast he starts nuzzling against you again. Kissing the back of your ear. Sucking on your neck. You love it but you also told him to wait until you were finished.

“Stop,” you ordered. “Mommy told you not to do that until she was finished. “

“But Mommy,” Bill whines. “I don’t want to stop.”

“Take the tray to the kitchen,” you took your last bite.

He got up reluctantly, grabbed the tray and gave you a big pouty face at the door before turning away.

“Come right back here when you are done young man,” you commanded. You giggled when he left.

He heard you and grinned. It all felt a little strange for Bill to not really be the dominate personality you usually craved him to be, but he also noticed you were enjoying this game so would keep it up just for you.

You attached the cuffs to the headboard how he always did. When he came back you were standing the end of the bed with a sweet smile on your face, “You’ve been a bad boy.” You smacked him lightly across the face. Then bit your lip hoping you didn’t go too far.

Bill looked shocked for a moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you eat your breakfast in peace Mommy.” His bottom lip stuck out.

“You know you have to be punished for being a bad boy.” You grinned. “Go on, go on. Get in bed. No touching Mommy now since you did it when I said no.”

“Yes, Mommy,” Bill whispered.

He got into bed. Your hips grinding against him as you put his wrists in the cuffs. You leaned back up on your knees looking at him in this position.

“Mommy?” he whispered as you did nothing for a for moments. “You alright?”

You leaned back to kiss up his neck. Lips brush over his as you murmur, “Such a good boy.”

You get up to take your panties off. You go to the bed and slide your hand up his leg. “Big boy needs to come out and play?”

Bill’s cock twitches, “Yes, Mommy.” He sucks in his breath. Then lets it out slowly.

You pull his boxers off. Kiss his tip making his cock rise completely. You straddle him not easing down until you kiss his lip. His eyes wide watching you as you take him in with a small whimper. He pulls at the restraints. He loves putting his hand on your tits running them down to your hips as you ride. He seethes pulling at the restraints more as you roll your hips getting into a good rhythm.

“Mommy, please let me touch you,” Bill begs as he pushes up into you powerfully.

“Patience,” you breath heavily.

You undo the cuff whimpering as he slides out a little. Bill sits up. Looking right in your eyes as he positions you over his lap better. Your knees up around his body. You both gasp for breath as his thrusts hit your core. Panting he keeps eye contact.

“Fuck, I love you.” He manages between breaths. “I should, I should pull out. No condom.”

“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” you moan. “almost there. Don’t stop.”

He holds your back. Your arm wrapped around him. Fingers holding on to his shoulder blades. Moving together in perfect sync. Your back arches as you come. Bill can’t help himself as your walls squeeze his phallus, he paints them with his seed. Your foreheads find there way to one another as he slows inside you. He lays back pulling you with him. You stay there a few moments catching your breath. Then lays beside him.

“I love you to,” she sighed exhausted.

“Happy, Mommy’s Day.” Bill pulls you in to spoon as he drifts off to sleep.

You giggle holding his hand close to your heart ready to rest.

#happy mother's day #fanfic #bill skarsgard #bill and princess #fluff #smut

[neshabeingchildish]

Poly, Wanna? 11

Much more toned down, this one.

@adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @up-the-tube

Power of 3

Charlotte had taken the bubbly for three days and was now awaiting the acupuncturist. Jasper and Henry had went for their gym visit and would be having brunch afterwards. She didn’t want to insert herself into their ritual just because of the recent turn of events… Being that they spent 3 nights together, watched 3 sunrises, 3 dinners, went to the same bed 3 times, woke up tied around each other, and she couldn’t stop thinking about the power of 3… That anything done in threes is more satisfying, more powerful, more memorable…

Maybe it was the Biblical implications programmed into most of the Western world - the Holy Trinity, a three days rest until resurrection, etc. But, even in Pagan belief systems, 3 held power. Many witches believed that whatever energy you put out in the world, you get it back three times. Three had been significant for her as a child, with having Henry and Jasper. The three, in her mind were a three. There was no coupling. There weren’t separate pairs. She honestly couldn’t imagine them separating when they got older… But, then there was that talk with her mom and life in general and now… she was looking back at her life and looking forward to her future. Henry had called them a triad.

HENRY had said that they weren’t going to do anything without her. Henry had taken a huge step in making these claims. She said claims, because who knew what could happen while the men were alone? They were both very sexually magnetic for each other and emotionally attached, forever. Jasper had once told her that they had the nastiest, naughtiest, most daring sexual relationship that he had ever been involved in. Sometimes, they didn’t make it to privacy before they commenced. Sometimes, they were in an alleyway, a public bathroom, the vehicle, an elevator… He said it like he was condemning himself for the risky behavior, but his eyes said something else. 

Charlotte wasn’t into those types of risks. She liked the roughness that he mentioned (sometimes), and really thought it would be fun and interesting for Jasper to use her the way that he’d been allowed to use Henry whenever they were doing it. But, he said that was mostly because Henry liked it so much. To be called dirty names and degraded and manhandled… He couldn’t imagine himself doing that with Charlotte, even if she begged him. She was just so tiny and soft. He sometimes worried that he might hurt her whenever he got too excited! 

She loved whenever Jasper got rough. She could tell it was closer to his element, and even though he held back a lot, she felt that she could tolerate more. It was hot to feel and see him in his sexual nature. Him holding back usually made her insecure. If he felt like he had to hold back with her, 1. WTH was he doing in the first place? Donkey punching folks? 2. Could she keep him satisfied? She thought about talking to Henry about it, because he was a professional, but he also probably couldn’t be objective. So, she would have to find some other method or tough it out. 

After her acupuncture, she grabbed some sleeping supplies, because Henry had recommended the Bang Bang for three days, an acupuncture appointment, and a long sleep. Jasper had cleaned up the clutter that she made in her bedroom, because she needed clear space to sleep well, but she hated cleaning up and Jasper knew that and probably that she might not feel like it anyway, with the healing in progress. Sweet soul, Jasper. She lit her deep sleep candles, turned on the music loop of the siren song from Siren, shut the drapes to blot out the sunlight, set out her choice of crystals on the headboard, sprayed her bed with a sleeping mist blend, rubbed her feet with lavender, and laid her naked body down under the fuzzy blanket, with the weighted blanket on top. She was sleeping within moments. She stayed sleep for hours. 

.

Jasper and Henry peeked in on her whenever they got in. Henry wondered, “What in the world is she listening to?”

“It’s from some show, I think. We have to let it play, because even if you adjust the volume, she will wake up immediately.” Henry laughed. “Some things don’t change. You know what it used to be? This weird remix of FKA Twigs Two Weeks with like…”

“With meditation music? I made that for her.” Jasper said.

“You did what, now?” Henry laughed.

“I made that remix for her! You know, I can make music. I was in a band, and I did beatboxing and yodeling competitions… Not together… except for that one time that I got it in my mind that could work!” He threw Henry a glare and Henry laughed. “That was terribly embarrassing for me, despite the fact that I handled it with grace.”

“You absolutely did not,” Henry reminded him, thinking about how much of a train wreck that was.

“We remember it differently,” Jasper said and quietly shut the door to Charlotte’s room back. “I think I might need to go get her some more clothes and stuff. She didn’t say whether or not she was ready to come home, and let’s be honest - that bed is a lot more comfortable than mine. She’ll probably want to crash here instead, since you’re good now.”

“Since we’re good?” Henry laughed. “That’s what we’re calling what this is?”

“What… should we call it?”

“I’m in love with two people that I very much want to build a life with. Whatever is mine is theirs. We aren’t just “good,” I love you two, and I want to take care of you, in any way that I can.” Henry said.

Jasper nodded, “Well… You can talk to her about that. I’m gonna run home and get some clothes and stuff… and also beer, since your fridge refuses to have any. I’ve gotta go to work tonight. Should probably get some sleep today.”

Henry sighed and his nostrils slightly flared at Jasper brushing off everything that he said, but he realized that the burden of proving self was on him and he couldn’t be mad that Jasper wasn’t taking him seriously or that he was guarding his heart, whichever. “Well, I have work appointments this afternoon, so I’ll be in the office most of the time. Make yourselves comfortable, but be mindful that the living room is also a segway to my office.”

“Noted. See you later,” Jasper said and headed out. 

“It’s been a few months since I began speaking on a regular basis with Jasper and Charlotte and, at this point, all I want to do is be able to be honest with both of them and build together. Most of the secrets are out. Jasper knows that I want something real with both of them. Charlotte knows what happened between Jasper and I, after her. I know that both of them have some type of feelings for me, as well. What I don’t know is if either of them want to explore those and what I don’t want is for them to take any time away from each other to figure that out. I want the three of us to reach an understanding and an agreement, or I don’t want anything. Nothing else, as far as relationships are concerned, in my current state of mind - nothing but the three of us in a committed and dedicated relationship will appease me.” *Sighs and holds up a stack of letters, tied together. “Then… There’s these…” 

.

Henry was exhausted. He and Ray had been tracking this villain for days and when they did find him, he was stuck in the lair and it took them hours to get free. Charlotte had been searching for them, using Henry’s phone to try to figure out where they were. She had been losing sleep for days and was working for four - because Jasper wasn’t very much help, worrying about Henry and Ray, but having no real helpful skills for the situation. Piper was in the loop by then, but also way more famous and not in town. Captain Man and Kid Danger were missing. Ray’s phone was dead. Henry’s had some life, but she had to sync it with the Man Cave computer to try to lock in on the location before it died too. The computer automatically pulled up an on screen menu, which were previews of various apps and photos. She was focused really hard on working, so she didn’t pay any attention to any of it, but did, in the back of her head note - Henry sure has a lot of porn on his phone. Jeesh. 

She was able to lock in on their location and Schwoz and Jasper went to try to bring aid. By the time they all came back, and she was relieved, and settled, she’d also realized something… some of this “porn” wasn’t porn. It was private messaging. 

She had never in her life thought to go through Henry’s phone or spy on him. All she had to do was tap the preview on the screen to see that was a video of Bianca. She folded her arms and said, “Huh,” pensievely, then backed up his phone to a clone and went on a journey.

The journey began with a group chat - Chloe, Biana, and Henry, which seemed to be a place to shit on Charlotte, but that wouldn’t even have bothered her nearly as much if she hadn’t eventually gotten to the photos, then the videos, then the invitations. All of the offers of blowjobs and threesomes, and the playful way Henry would entertain it was troubling… but, then Henry began to talk too. About what he could just imagine. About how he would think about this or that whenever he was alone, to get himself excited. Accepting an invtitation to record their sex tape (which got “leaked” later on and was a huge scandal - 2 Girls from the Woods, Playing in Each Other’s Bushes!) And… the last one that he’d sent… “Know that threesome you’re always on about?” and a series of emoji’s that she wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by them, but it was safe to presume that he was down. 

She left the Man Cave and went home, started packing her things, and didn’t even get adequate rest. 

“Hey, where’d Char go?” he asked Jasper? 

“I think she left,” he said.

“Without me?” Henry wondered. That was weird, because they lived together, and they had been apart for days, while he was on this incredibly dangerous mission and had almost died several times. “Did something happen?”

“I don’t know,” Jasper said. “I got back whenever you did. I saw her looking through somebody’s phone when she got on the elevator.”

“What phone?” Henry was still confused.

“Probably one of the clones,” Schwoz said. “Looks like we’re missing one.”

“The clones?”

“Yes. You take someone’s mobile cellular phone and you clone all of the information into this phone. It is a phone clone, on which you can access all of the information from the original device.”

“Oh, maybe she cloned your phone for some reason. She was using the computer to try to locate you two through it,” Jasper said, casually. He was ready to head home himself. Now that Henry and Ray were safe, he could use some shut eye. “Goodnight, Hen! Glad that we could help.” He got onto the elevator and Henry went to the tubes. 

He came in while Charlotte was packing. She had hooked up the phone/computer to the TV and let the messages just scroll for him. He took a deep breath. “Shit,” he said. He found her packing and immediately began talking in a pleading voice, “I promise, I didn’t mean it. We were only joking around. It was innocent fun.”

“Innocent? Thinking about other girls while you’re with me is innocent? And, I’M not having fun.”She began to slam things into her bag. 

“Okay. I said a lot of things in those messages that I shouldn’t have, but I swear that I never would’ve acted on any of that!”

“So, you didn’t record their sex tape for them? You didn’t agree to a threesome with them?”

“I… recorded their sex tape VERY objectively and I was only joking about the threesome.”

“Nobody jokes that frequently. But, you know what. I won’t let my poor dicksucking skills or uppity requirements deter you any further from your passions. Have all the big tittied white girls that you can get your hands on.” She then muttered, “Chloe’s aren’t even real, but I’M Charlotte Flat as a Page.”

“I told her not to call you that!”

“Yep, with an LOL, so she knew you meant it,” she said, trying not to cry. “I don’t care if you complain about my ‘bee stings.’ These are the breasts that my body grew and they’re the ones that I’m satisfied with.”

“I wasn’t complaining.”

“Titty fucking is really awkward with itty bitty titties sounds like a complaint, but even if it’s simply an observation, I don’t remember requesting a titty fuck. I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU it’d be awkward, as I am aware of my cup size. I don’t care about you talking about how seldom I go down on you - which YOU KNOW is because I want to make sure that everything is clean and good first and I won’t apologize for that. Do you know what kinds of things I see at the clinic? I have standards. You can meet them, or I won’t consent. Tell the world, if you wanna. And the fact that when I DO go down on you, it’s clear that I have no idea what I’m doing? I do have an idea, but I’m not a professional, because you haven’t met my requirements enough for me to get proper practice. What did you think I’d do? Practice on toys and tools? Bananas? Lollipops? Popsicles? Fine. Tell whoever you need to in order to feel better about your lazy hygiene and the consequence of not receiving pleasure. But, when you tell another woman that you’ll think of her, that’s crossing a line that I don’t have to accept. When you’re talking to other women every night about what you would do to them if I wasn’t in the picture, that’s basically you confirming that you wish that you could do things to them. I know where this road leads to and I can’t believe that I let you waste my time before I realized what fucking road I’m on.” 

“Okay… Okay… Look… You don’t have to accept it. I was so fucking wrong for all of that, but Baby, I SWEAR to you, I’ve never touched another woman since you.”

“Maybe you oughtta. You wouldn’t be so unsatisfied!”

“I don’t want to be with anybody else!”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAID A GAJILLION TIMES IN THOSE MESSAGES!” She pointed towards the TV in the other room, screaming louder than she even thought that she knew how to, but he was pissing her off and he STILL hadn’t just fucking apologized. “I was so fucking wrong for that” is not remorse! You made me look fucking stupid in front of AT LEAST two other women and you can’t even tell me that you’re sorry for that. You’re just trying to tell me how it isn’t as bad as I think it is, but I can fucking tell from this conversation that you don’t even know why I’m really mad. You don’t even KNOW what you did that was so wrong!”

“I mentally cheated?” He said, trying to guess.

“You cheated. I don’t put qualifiers on that… but you…” Now, she was crying, “You knew that was the ONE thing that I wouldn’t be okay with. You knew how upset I was whenever my dad finally stopped pretending with my mom and ran around this fucking town most of our relationship with different women while my mom looked like a fool and you did that to me?”

“I wasn’t… I never intended for… I’m sorry.” He started crying. “I am so sorry. That’s not what I was trying to do. You don’t look stupid. I do. I have the most perfect woman in the world and I fucked up, and I don’t deserve anything from you. But… Please… Please, let me at least…”

“Let me stop you. There is nothing you can say or do that would make me even want to see your face again, Henry. That is a true statement and I am a stubborn person. Thank you for apologizing. I believe you. Now, get the fuck out of my face and stay out of it.”

He covered his face and sat on the bed. “I can’t. We’ve been friends almost our whole lives.”

“That didn’t stop you for betraying me in the way that you of all people should have known was irreparable.”

“It didn’t stop me from being stupid and reckless, no. But, I didn’t think of this as too bad. Your dad was actually fucking other women. I’m not completely convinced, by their interactions that your dad and my mom didn’t screw.”

“They definitely did. Why else are our parents never around each other?”

“But, in my brain, because it was just some talk and some photos… that’s nothing to me. It meant nothing to me. If I was as disgruntled about scarcely given blow jobs that aren’t that good when I get them, I would have gone out and gotten better ones…” She glared at him. He wasn’t helping. “I just mean that I never did that, because even though I was venting, I knew that I actually HAD the best part of all of this. Good blow jobs, I could give up. Frequent blow jobs, I could live without. Baby, whenever Ray and I were held captive, all I thought about was getting home to you. Seeing your face and holding you close to me and looking into your eyes again.” He sobbed. “Whenever I face danger, you’re the constant on my mind that I want to get back to. You’re my beacon…”

“Weird. Because, when you’re out there, I can’t think about anything else either. But, unlike you, when you’re safe and sound, I STILL DON’T FUCKING WANT ANYBODY ELSE!And if I did - if I EVER did, I’d respect you enough to let you know where you stand. Or… I would have, before tonight. Honestly, Henry, at this point, you could’ve died tonight, I’d be relieved right now.”

He held his chest. “How can you say that?” He shook his head, “You don’t mean that. I hurt you really bad and you’re angry. You don’t mean that.” 

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her bags. “Fuck you, Henry.” She headed towards the door and Henry got up and chased after her. That was not going to be how they ended things. That would not be the last thing that she said to him, especially following the previous thing… He grabbed her arm, harder than he intended and more angrily than he realized that he was feeling, and for a split second he almost questioned himself - how did he feel like he had a right to be angry? Why was he grabbing her? He should probably give her space? But, he didn’t really get to process all of that because whenever he grabbed her, she dropped her bags and by the time he’d looked at his hand clutching her arm aggressively and wondering how that was his hand… Her fist connected with his jaw. He felt it and heard it and the sound was kind of terrifying, but the pain shot through his entire head and he let go of her hand and stumbled back. “DON’T YOU EVER PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS ON ME!!!” She screamed at him, but her hand was done for. She could hardly move it. 

She didn’t know what came over her in that moment, but she grabbed her bags and left and slammed the door. When she got into her car, she just sat there and cried. She cried for hours before she was able to even think about starting the car. She didn’t know what Henry was doing in there, but whenever she finally started her car and winced every time she moved her hand, she whimpered, “Call Piper.”

“Hey! Jasper told me that you found Henry and Ray!” She said, cheerfully. “I was almost back in town, too!”

“Are… you en route?” Charlotte asked, trying to use a clear and casual voice. 

“Hey… Why do you sound terrible?”

“Henry and I just got into a really bad fight. I don’t know where to go. If I go to my mom’s like this, she’ll call my dad for an excuse to see him and I’m a little banged up. They’d never believe that it didn’t get physical.”

“Why are you banged up?” Piper asked, suspiciously. 

“Henry grabbed my arm and I just… I punched him… I think I sprained my wrist or something when I did. I didn’t expect to be physically in pain, too…”

“What… Happened?”

“I found out that Henry’s been talking to other girls about sex with them. I can’t forgive him.”

“Okay. Meet me at my parents in like… 20 minutes?”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call his sister, but I didn’t know who else would still actually care about me..”

“I’m glad that you know it’s me, if nobody else. On my way.”

Henry was staring out of the window. He had ice on his face and knew he should probably get to Schwoz right away, but he could see Charlotte in the car crying and he was helpless at the sight of it. He did that to her. Why the fuck had he done that to her? 

His phone was charging and he’d snatched everything from the TV and posted himself by the window until she pulled away. She didn’t even look at the apartment. He heard his phone buzz and he saw it was Piper. 

Normally, he’d let it go, with something this huge happening, but he was fresh off of a several day mission and needed to at least touch base with her. “Yeah,” he answered.

“What did you do, you freaking idiot?”

“What do you mean?”

“Charlotte hurt her wrist punching you in the face for no good reason? Charlotte Page?”

“I…”

“Did you cheat on her, Henry?”

“I never would have touched them. I swear to God. It was just talk. It was just to blow off steam. I promise. She… She says that she never wants to look at me again. Can… Can you fix it?”

Piper sighed. Henry was always super soft when it came to Charlotte and she was often a good go between, but the way that Charlotte sounded? “I don’t know. Expect things to be over. She sounded really bad. I’ll make sure that she’s okay. No matter what happens between the two of you.” 

Tears were falling from his eyes. “Thank you, Piper.”

Henry angrily demolished a shitload of his things before realizing that he was 1. Destroying his things and 2. He would have to clean this up, eventually. He just needed to rest, probably. He needed to sleep off the mission and the fight and probably after that, he could collect his thoughts well enough to beg her to listen and to spend the rest of his life, if he had to, making this up to her and proving himself to her. 

He grabbed his phone and recorded himself speaking, “Charlotte… I am so sorry. I should have led with that. I should have said that I’m sorry and I’m an idiot for what I did and for not realizing how bad it was. I’ll never do anything like that again, I promise. I’ll never give you any reason not to trust me again, so long as I live. You’re the only one that I want and wanna be with. I don’t think that I could ever make it without you.” He went to sleep after that. He was drained.

Whenever he got up, he checked his phone. Ray, Schwoz, Jasper and Piper had all called him. Chloe had texted. Mom and Piper had messaged him on social media. Nothing from Charlotte, though. He tried to call her, to leave her a voicemail message, basically, saying everything that he had said on his voice note the previous night. The phone number claimed to be disconnected. He tossed his phone aside and began to clean up the wreckage from his tantrum. He was eventually disturbed when a loud banging knock sounded on the door, followed by Jasper’s voice, “HENRY! CHARLOTTE! Are you guys okay??? I’m gonna break the door down if nobody answers me! 1, 2, …” Henry opened the door and Jasper let out first, a sigh of relief, then - a gasp of horror. “What happened to your face?”

Henry had sort of forgotten that he’d gotten hit. He was so distracted by the depression, physical pain ceased to exist for a bit. “What do you want?” He asked.  Jasper looked confused by his tone and this whole situation, in particular. “WHAT IS IT?” Henry demanded, annoyed by just the flicker of waiting for Jasper to answer him.

“We couldn’t get in touch with you. We were worried that maybe goons were sent in retaliation. You almost died less than 24 hours ago… were missing for several hours before that… You have responsibilities and haven’t been answering any calls. What is happening, right now? Where is Charlotte?” Jasper tried to come into the apartment, but Henry placed a hand up to stop him. “Henry. What is it? Oh my God! Is she dead? Did someone attack here? HENRY, ANSWER ME, WHAT THE FUCK???” 

“She left me,” Henry said, in a low voice. He blinked away some tears. “It was my fault. She’s gone, and I don’t want to talk about it…” He sniffled, nodded his head, and repeated, “It was my fault.” He started crying a little harder and Jasper took him into a hug. He tried to shift away from it. He didn’t feel like he deserved to be comforted, but Jasper was a strong mothefucker and bigger than him. He wasn’t letting him go. He was gonna take this solace.

Henry spent hours trying to write Charlotte a letter. By that time, the others had tried to find her, too, but her parents and Piper told them to just give her some space. She’d left her Man Cave duties, but emailed Ray after she saw the doctor about her hand. She’d fractured it and would need to wear a cast over the hand, wrist and pinky for 6 weeks and resigned immediately to accept an opportunity for an integrated and applied sciences doctorate program across the country. She thanked him and apologized for the sudden departure, and sent a video message to Schwoz, thanking him for all of his time and energy spent helping to make her a better scientist and being a good boss and good friend. She met up with Jasper and asked him to collect the rest of her things for her, then treated him to a buffet, but wouldn’t talk about what happened between her and Henry. She told him that if he promised not to give it to him, she’d let him have her new number and maybe when she was ready to start talking about it, he’d be one of the few people whose number she kept.

Henry had no access, so he wrote to her. He had to get his orange overlays, record the message from voice to text and then try to copy it with his handwriting. It took him a long time to write each letter, but he was committed to it. He thought, maybe if she saw that he did this, she would change her mind and forgive him. Maybe if she read his words, in his handwriting, and deduced what he had to go through to write this much… she’d believe him. But, she never saw him or them. She never knew. They didn’t talk. She didn’t visit. Jasper, Piper and Schwoz had some access to her, but were told that if that was shared with Henry, they’d lose it. So, he settled for hearing new things - she got a teaching position at an organization, she was in a serious relationship, she was out of the serious relationship, she was moving overseas, she was back in the US… But… he had a feeling that even they weren’t getting the good details. Maybe Piper, but Piper wasn’t easily moved by his plight. This was his fault, after all. Still… he continued to write her a letter, every day…

“467 days 1.2794 Years = 1 Year, 3 Months, 1 Week, 3 Days, 16 Hours, 19 Minutes and 59 Seconds... That was how long I spent writing Charlotte every single day since she left me. I only stopped whenever it was my first “anniversary” with Jasper and I realized that I, maybe, had been involved with Jasper for a year, but also that I had been nurturing an obsession over someone who I’d hurt and lost. For some reason, up until then, somewhere inside of me, I thought that it wasn’t over. That she was just still upset, like I was still upset about making the mistake. For everybody else, a year had passed, more than a year. But, for me… It was almost like it had just occurred to me that she actually broke up with me and that we were done. It had just occurred to me that I had been in a new relationship for a full year.” *Shakes his head, “Sometimes, I feel like this shit had to have happened to someone else. Like, who WAS I? Whoever he was, I’m glad he’s dead.”

.

Jasper came back and went to bed in Charlotte’s room. She was still sleeping and he knew that he needed to get some sleep before it was time for him to go to work. He hadn’t been in a few nights and was a bit worried about having to leave Charlotte alone to go in, but also… They were all three in a similar place. He woke up a couple of hours before he’d have to be to work (because he needed to shower, get dressed, eat, all that jazz. Charlotte was still asleep. He checked to make sure that she was alive. She was… 

He went into his own room to get ready. He didn’t want to wake her up, and whenever he came out, Henry was in the dining room, staring at a stack of letters, tied together. “Hey. What’s that?”

“Remember when we were first dating, how I used to write those letters everyday?”

“The apology letters to Charlotte?” Jasper said. “How could I forget. I always felt ‘othered’ in the beginning, and those letters were a huge part of that… Is… Is that what those are? Because… it’s been a really long time and I don’t think that’s normal, to hold on to.”

“It’s not normal. But, also… everything that she’s currently curious about and everything that she feels like she has the right to know is in these, and they’re in their truest form. I could dress up all this information with my 20/20 hindsight, but… She deserved to know then and she deserves to know now. I just… wanted to talk to you about it. If you don’t want her to have them, I will burn them tonight.”

“I don’t think that it’s fair of you to put this on me. If I say no, I run the risk of getting in the way of something that might bring Charlotte closure. If I say yes, it’s read like I agree that you should give them to her! And to be honest, these letters were stressful for me, the first time around, so to even bring them to me is at least disrespectful!”

“I’m not trying to come between you two. I want to bring the three of us together. I thought maybe that you would want to know what emotions were blocking your love from my view back then, too.” He picked up the stack of letters and came over to Jasper, “These are as much for you as they are for her.” He pushed them forward and Jasper accepted them and shook his head. “It’s… the last thing that might get in the way… of… us…” Henry said, desperately. 

“Yeah, okay.” Jasper sighed and put them into his messenger bag. “I want to talk to her about it before anything else and she’s still asleep.”

“Okay.” Henry nodded his head. “Well, I’ve got stuff to make sushi, caviar and champagne, if you want me to make you dinner before you go.”

“Ummm… Yeah.. I was gonna just grab a burger or something.”

“Oh, NO! I just got this shipment in and have been ACHING to try out some new recipes and arrangements on someone! Burger. The only burgers that you’ll ever need to eat are the ones that I cook. Oh! I can cook you a burger, if you want?” “I don’t think that’s…”

“I’ve got thawed ground beef… Yeah. I’ll make you one of the best burgers that you’ve ever had in your life! But… also… I do have sushi supplies and caviar… I’m… gonna make a caviar burger recipe that I think I’ve only made once, a while back…”

Jasper bit his lip and set his bag on the floor. Henry was actually trying and it would be so crushing for him to tell him that he was doing too much. He was, but Jasper was content to try to appreciate it and would tell him some time after the fact, maybe when he wasn’t as emotionally high strung that he didn;t have to be this accommodating.

Charlotte smelled food. That was a surefire way to get her to get up, which Jasper should have realized, but wasn’t really thinking about. “There she is!” Henry cheered. She made a confused face and kissed Jasper on the top of the head, and played in his hair.

“He’s in the zone,” Jasper whispered.

“Char, I’ve got caviar burgers, sushi, and champagne. Glad you could join us before Jasper heads off to work,” Henry said, still moving around in the kitchen. Charlotte gave Jasper a thumbs up, then approached Henry. He yelped at her closeness, out of nowhere and then smiled, “Just, have a seat.”

“Why, has Daddy got it taken care of?” She asked, teasing him for his calling himself that a few days ago.

He played along. “Daddy does.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. She began to grab stuff and try stuff. “Umm… Char… Daddy’s not done.” She made moaning sounds and continued. “Charlotte…”

“These are good!” She said, reaching for more. 

“Char!” Henry snapped.

“Henry… Please chill out, okay? You’re acting all fancy and I’m literally in an oversized shirt, barefooted, eating your caviar with my fingers. Jasper can’t even tell you the difference between these fish, much less the caviar. We are impressed. You can calm down.” She took another portion of sushi and stuffed it into her mouth. “I’ve been asleep all day. Hungry. Shoot.” Henry furrowed his eyebrows and prepared plates. Charlotte scratched his belly and he looked down at her hand, then up at her face. She wasn’t looking at him, so this was an unconscious act. She was looking at the plates and asked, “You gonna put more on mine?”

He narrowed his eyes and pushed a plate in her direction. “Fix your own,” he said. She cackled. Don’t mind if I do. 

Whenever she got to the table, Jasper was shyly eating and Henry was still setting up stuff to make his experience optimal. She grabbed three flutes and set the down. “Where’s the champagne? I wanna make a toast,” she said. Henry smiled and rushed to get it for her and popped the bottle open. When they each had there’s, she lifted hers into the air and they followed. “To, the power of three.” she said. 

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

Ephemera Chapter Nineteen (END)

Ephemera: In art, transitory written and printed matter (receipts, notes, tickets, clippings, etc.) not originally intended to be kept or preserved.

Alternatively, things that exist or are used for only a short time.

Description: Nobody knows who Vante really is. Everything about the popular artist is shrouded in secrecy: from his face to his name to everything in between. After years of working for his art gallery, Y/N feels she may just be the closest thing he has to a friend. Between her success at work and her relationship with campus hot-shot Jeon Jungkook, Y/N’s life has never been better. But is Jungkook truly who he says he is? And who will Y/N protect now that she knows Vante’s livelihood may be on the line?

Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook x (f) Reader x Taehyung

Word Count: 7.0k

Tags: Non-Idol!Au, Gang!Au, Art History Student!Reader, Film Student!Jungkook, Art Student!Taehyung

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: GUYS THE ALBUM!! THE MV!! JAMAIS VU, MAKE IT RIGHT, DIONYSUS!! TRULY THE BOPS OF ALL BOPS I CANNOT BELIEVE THE LEVEL OF ARTISTRY! EVERY TIME I THINK THEY’VE GOTTEN AS GOOD AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, THE DO SOMETHING BETTER!! God, I loved it. Anyway, this chapter! Haha we’ve finally reached the end of our journey! I can’t believe it, really. Anyway, please don’t be shy and send feedback, critique, questions, theories, and comments my way. I’ll be sure to respond to all asks I receive within a day of receiving them! Links will be added later, so for now check my masterlist to find previous chapters!

And again, if you want to follow my Twitter, my username is @/plzpunchmebts. I’m super active over there and hopefully in the future I’ll do some livestreams/chats with you all! And concert videos!!

ALSO BIG UPDATE: I’ll be taking a couple weeks off from writing series’ until after the BTS concert on May 4. I don’t want to get into a posting routine only to have to throw it off for that weekend. That said, I’ll be working on finishing REALLY OLD requests that I haven’t gotten to yet, so I’ll be posting! Just not series. (Although, I do have my next series planned and started. If you guys want spoilers for that, plz send me an ask hehe)

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Masterlist

Weekly updates: Sunday, 1PM (PST)

My daughter,

I’m sure this letter comes as a bit of a shock to you. It’s a bit of a shock to me as well. I don’t know exactly where to start.

Leaving you was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But now that you’re older, I hope you can understand me. Even just a little. You were the biggest hope in my life, but I didn’t feel worthy of you. I didn’t want to raise a daughter whose only mother was dependent on someone else to support her. I didn’t have any options in the countryside, but I thought if I went to Seoul and came home successful…maybe you’d grow to respect me.

It sounds selfish writing it down. It was selfish. I am selfish.

To be honest, I didn’t intend on reaching out to you. As it stands, I’m working for a small company as a web designer. Not exactly the lofty dream I had when I left. I didn’t want to face you until I’d made something of myself, so you’d understand why I had to leave. But…well, things change over time I suppose.

I keep a close eye on the tabloids in Seoul because of my job, and when the news about Vante dropped I was intrigued. Truthfully, I’d been trying to get in with him for years. Ever since he showed up in the art scene. I wanted to help him market himself online.

I was perplexed, however, considering the fact that he seems quite reclusive and yet had a female companion with him in almost every photo. For a while, I was trying to figure out who that girl was so I could reach out to her. And as it turns out…you know the rest.

I don’t want you to think I’m exploiting you. I’d never want to do something like that. I’m really glad you were the girl, and not just for career aspects. I was shocked when I found out, and I immediately called a PI to find your address. It wasn’t cheap. But being able to speak with you after so long is a blessing.

I’d love to meet with you in person. Catch up. Talk about what you’ve been up to all these years. You’ve grown into such a beautiful young lady, and you’re doing so many exciting things. I’d love to hear all about them.

Please meet me at the address below on Sunday at 1 PM if you can. It’s a little coffee shop I like. I think it might be a nice place to reunite.

And I apologize for not writing a return address. I’m not sure how you’ll receive this, and I don’t want any legal trouble should you decide this letter is worth litigation.

Hoping to see you there.

Sincerely,

Mom

I’d read and reread the letter enough times to burn the script into my mind forever. If I shut my eyes, her words still floated around on the blacks of my lids. I’d never expected to hear from her again, and was content living my life independently from hers. Perhaps some deep, dark part of me was hoping to rub my success in her nose somehow, but…not like this. The nerve of her. To reach out to me after all these years…

Just because I knew Taehyung.

Something about that stung me in a place that was too tender to look at closely. I didn’t know why the pain was so visceral, but it felt deeper than just a blow to the ego.

I stared at the letter sitting on my coffee table, wrinkled and worn from my chronic folding and unfolding. It had only been a day, and my mind was still swimming in the letter. What right did she have to disrupt my life this way? Who was she to me anyway to be able to affect my waking hours? To consume my thoughts?

I sighed and flipped it over so I only saw my address. What a joke. She thought I might hand over the letter to the police or something? Everything about the letter disgusted me.

So why was that address now burned in the back of my mind?

I touched my pointer finger to my necklace, the ruby one Taehyung had given me so long ago, as I waited in the Sanyo Industries reception room. Yoongi sat beside me, playing with his hands. As decided during our meeting, Yoongi and I were dressed sharp: him in a nice pair of slacks and a pressed button-down, and me in my work skirt and a blouse I had to steam to get the wrinkles out. The reception area was vast, a wide room with wide windows and lots of empty space. The employee behind the desk eyed us now and then, and it was clear by the way she’d received us that she knew exactly who Yoongi was. She’d practically stuttered out her greeting as we entered the modern-looking office.

“Why should the son of a CEO have to wait in the reception office?” I mumbled under my breath with a sigh.

I hadn’t bothered asking Yoongi if he’d gone to meet Nara like I suggested, mostly for his own sake. Emanating from Yoongi’s very core was a jittery sense of anticipation. His eyes flashed wildly around the room, toward the elevators, toward the front doors, toward the marble floor. I’d never seen him so visibly nervous. He was always like Troy, impregnable. But it seemed his father was his own Trojan Horse, his undoing. I eyed him, awaiting a reaction, but none came. Almost like he didn’t hear me at all.

I gave his arm a poke and raised my brows as he jumped and looked at me with wide eyes. “Huh?” he asked, swallowing hard.

I sighed and crossed my arms. “Yoongi, you don’t look so good,” I said, tone softening as I watched him with furrowed brow.

He inhaled sharply and held his breath for a few seconds before letting it out in a puff that startled the receptionist. “Sorry,” he said quietly.

I smiled, attempting a gentle pat, but he was so jumpy that the touch of my palm on his shoulder almost made him shout. “If this is too much, you can go. Honestly, we mostly needed you to get me inside,” I said, then rolled my eyes and glanced out onto the street where Namjoon stood, smoking a cigarette. “Well, me and that idiot.”

Yoongi shook his head and braced himself on his knees, knuckles white as he held on to the tops of his knees. “No,” he said, shutting his eyes with a steadying breath. “I’m not here just to help you guys.”

I nodded. “Listen…you wanting to take responsibility — for yourself and for Nara — it’s really noble. I respect it. But…well, if you don’t mind me being a little nosy, you seem super rattled. I don’t know if this is the best move for your sake,” I said, watching him for any reaction.

He only opened his eyes and nodded, somber. “It’s probably stupid,” he said with a humorless laugh. “But…after spending so long with my head in the sand, I guess the guilt of it is catching up with me.”

“Guilt?”

He shrugged. “How many innocent people have had their lives ruined by my dad’s business? How many people like Nara have I just…left behind? Because it was too much responsibility?”

I raised my brows. “This is the first time I’ve heard you talking about reformation. You seemed a bit ambivalent,” I said, then shrugged. “Like Seokjin.”

“Neither of us are ambivalent, Y/N,” he said seriously, finally meeting my eyes head-on. “We both grew up seeing all the corruption and didn’t see any ways of making it better. Rather than ambivalent…we became cynical.”

I smoothed down my skirt, thinking. “I bet you’re not the only ones to become disillusioned,” I said, recalling that letter on my coffee table with a scowl. “Sometimes all we can do is accept that things are messed up and try to do the right thing on our own.”

He shook his head. “But what if I can’t accept that anymore?” he asked, brows knit as he implored me with his tender gaze. “What if I’ve been accepting it to avoid doing the right thing? Because the right thing is hard?”

I blinked at him, disarmed by the vulnerability in his eyes. “Yoongi…”

“I don’t deserve a free pass,” he said, serious as he scanned me. “Not when people are getting hurt.”

“What do you plan on doing?” I asked, raising my brows.

He settled back against his seat and his jitters slowed, knees stopping their anxious bounce. He anchored his gaze on something far away, perhaps something not physically here at all. “I’m gonna fix it.”

“Fix it?”

“The company,” he said with a steady nod. “From the inside. I’m gonna make it so that people don’t get hurt anymore. Like Ori.”

I watched him for a long moment, watched the way his jaw went staunch against his neck, and couldn’t help but admire his determination. Righteous outrage and a little bit of guilt. I exhaled in a puff and smirked, eyeing him sidelong. “Min Yoongi,” I said, and he glanced at me. There was an innocence in the rounds of his eyes, in the expectation in his parted lips. “You’ll do great,” I finished with a smile. I gave his shoulder a pat and nodded once.

He met my eyes and, slowly, a halfway there smile touched his features and he returned my nod. “Thanks,” he said, chuckling once, sharp.

“Excuse me?” called the receptionist, sounding uncertain. She had risen to her feet and was staring at us with her hands clasped in front of her stomach. She gave a smile I recognized from wearing it myself at work. “Mr. Min is ready to see you.”

I nodded and gave her a bow before catching Namjoon’s eye outside and jerking my head toward the elevator. He quickly stomped out his cigarette and rushed inside, smelling strongly of nicotine. I gave him a grimace and he responded with a smile, resting his hand on the small of my back and leading me down the hallway toward the elevator.

“Ah! Do you need help finding the office?” the receptionist called, craning her neck to peer after us.

Yoongi chuckled and shook his head, waving at her as he called for the elevator. “I think we’ll be okay. Thank you,” he said with a smile her way.

She blinked a few times before adjusting her hair and bowing, her head disappearing back around the corner. And, in silence, the three of us entered the elevator.

The CEO of Sanyo Industries was not the imposing man I was expecting. Perhaps I’d built him up as some sort of malevolent deity, but looking at him sitting in a chair that looked several inches too big for him, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, it was hard to see Mr. Min as the ruthless businessman I knew he was.

The office was spacious, like the reception area, and decorated with classic mahogany browns and deep reds. It looked like the sort of office you’d see in a rich man’s mansion. But Mr. Min himself didn’t quite match it. Mousy in the face with sallow skin and salt-and-pepper hair, he looked like someone’s quiet uncle, the one you only see at family get-togethers who you have trouble even making small talk with.

He cleared his throat and stared up at Yoongi and I, raising his brows. “Son,” he began, then chuckled, rubbing his nose bridge and shutting his eyes. “Is this some sort of marriage announcement?”

Yoongi sighed. “You’d know about any marriage before I would, Dad,” he said, eyes going dull.

“Well then, what brings you two here?” he asked, eyeing me. “And furthermore, who are you if not a fiancé?”

I glanced at Yoongi, waiting for him to speak. But he simply kept his eyes ahead, perhaps trying to tether himself to reality somehow. It wasn’t a part of the plan for me to be too vocal. And besides, I wasn’t so sure it was safe to speak much. If what yoongi said about his father was anything to go by, I’d be smart not to oppose him.

Namjoon had planned everything pretty meticulously. For the first time since arriving, I felt concerned that I’d mess up my role. And with Namjoon himself waiting outside the office so as not to spook Mr. Min right off the bat, I felt ill at ease with all of his attention squarely on me.

I played with the pendant on my necklace. “Uh,” I began, meeting the CEO’s eyes once more. “I’m, uh…I…work with Yoongi.”

He cocked a brow and smirked. “Ah, another criminal?” he asked, scoffing. “Really, Yoongi, when are you going to come to your senses and get serious?” His tone had taken a shift. Gone were the fleeting moments of jest and teasing. In its place was nothing short of frightful intensity, his gaze on Yoongi, boring into him through thin-rimmed glasses.

“Today,” said Yoongi, facing his father. “If things go well.”

Mr. Min leaned back and coughed a little, one of those innocuous old-man sounds that once again threw me for a loop. Was he any suburban dad you might see at the Han River or was he a cutthroat criminal?

“That’s…very good news,” he said, then eyed me with a scowl. “Although if you’re looking to get your friend a job, I can confidently say not a chance.”

I was nearly hurt by his comment before remembering just what sort of company he ran. I took my bruised pride and, clearing my throat, crossed my arms. “I’m not looking for work,” I said.

He hummed. “Well, Yoongi, I can’t say I’m unhappy to hear about your change of heart,” he said, giving Yoongi the ghost of a smile.

Yoongi cleared his throat and rubbed his palms together. “There’s a condition.”

“Condition?” asked Mr. Min, his expression darkening.

“Call off your hit on Ori.”

He chuckled. “You think having you under my wing is worth letting my biggest competitor go?” he asked, raising his brows. “That’s shockingly confident. Even for you.”

Yoongi shook his head. “No,” he said, locking eyes with his father. “I know that’s not enough.”

“Then what’s the rest of your bid?” he asked with a smirk. “You know you can’t prove I’ve got a hit on Ori.”

I cleared my throat and took a step forward, rifling through my bag to grab my phone. “That’s,” I began, but had to pause since my phone was hidden beneath my wallet. I chuckled to myself, nervous, and continued once I had my cell phone in my hand. “That’s where I come in.”

Mr. Min stared at me, but his teasing once again halted. Quietly, I pressed play on my cell phone. The recording played and I took the moment of respite to lean back, inelegant and unceremonious, to knock on the door twice, alerting Namjoon to his cue.

Mr. Min’s gaze went hard like obsidian and it locked on me. “That’s Kim Seokjin?”

Yoongi stepped forward, crossing his arms. “Take action against Jin and we’ll release the recording and tell the press. You might not be aware, but Y/N has become pretty intimately familiar with news outlets these days, being Vante’s secret woman and everything.”

Mr. Min’s face flushed and his eyes skittered between us like a cornered animal. “You’re her…,” he said with a nod. He rubbed his temples and an almost childish smile touched his face. Shutting his eyes, he nodded again as the door opened and Namjoon stepped inside. “You’ve outplayed me, haven’t you?”

Yoongi adjusted his cuffs and cleared his throat. “Sorry, Dad,” he said, sighing. “But I can’t sit back and watch you ruin people’s lives anymore.”

His father opened his eyes and they were sharp, angry, but there was a margin of respect in them. “So this is your offer? You come on under me and you don’t air Sanyo’s dirty laundry?”

Yoongi nodded once sharply. “Yes.”

He smirked and glanced at Namjoon who had taken the spot at my other side. “I suppose you’re here to discuss the logistics,” he said, chuckling. “You two can leave. This is a discussion between businessmen.”

Namjoon grinned and pulled out the plush chair in front of Mr. Min’s desk before settling in. “It is,” he said, turning around to smile at Yoongi and me. “I’ll meet you two downstairs when we’re done here,” he continued. Yoongi and I each turned halfway toward the door, and as my fingers clasped around the doorknob, Namjoon called, “Oh and Y/N?”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Yes?” I asked, eager to leave the intimidating place.

He smirked. “Have your friend send her resume to my secretary. She’ll schedule her for an interview with my hiring department.”

A small smile spread across my face as I opened the door. I nodded and he returned it, grinning. “I will,” I said, leading Yoongi out into the hallway once more.

I awoke to pounding at my front door. Groaning, I rubbed my eyes and pushed myself upright on the couch. I must have fallen asleep shortly after returning home from Sanyo. Namjoon had emerged two hours later with a big grin and a new contract with Yoongi’s father stating neither company would attack the other moving forward. And although Namjoon hadn’t been the one to strike first, his strategic prowess had proven extremely useful as by the end Mr. Min was offering a collaborative project. Namjoon wouldn’t tell me whether he’d accepted the project or not, but I suspected I knew his principles well enough to know exactly where he’d told Mr. Min to shove that offer.

Yoongi had stayed behind to hash things out with his dad, and he told me not to worry about him. Of course, I worried anyway, because as his back retreated back toward the elevator, he looked so small. Too small for this big corporate world.

But my worries were quickly assuaged as he turned slightly before entering the elevator and shot me a playful smirk and a wink. As I moved to respond, he quickly hopped into the elevator and that was the last I saw of him.

Once I’d gotten home, I’d practically fallen into a puddle on the couch, turning on the TV and letting whatever cable show was on play as my mind wandered away from me. I wasn’t sure when I’d fallen asleep or how long I’d been out, but the knocking was incessant and demanding.

Groggy, I wandered toward the door and opened it without checking the peephole, rubbing the back of my head with a groan. “Hello?”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

I pried my eyes open and saw Taehyung fuming in the doorway. I furrowed my brow and blinked at him. “What time is it?”

He sighed. “It’s midnight. Why are you still dressed up?” he asked, finally scanning me before shaking his head and waving his hands. “No, that’s not important! Why did you keep this whole plan from me? Don’t I have the right to know?”

My senses had returned to me and, gently, I took his forearm and led him inside the apartment. He followed, albeit unwillingly, and pouted down at me. He was dressed in leisure wear, likely having run here from his apartment once Namjoon told him what happened without so much as grabbing a jacket.

I sat him down on the couch and smiled. “I’m sorry,” I said.

He opened his mouth to say something but shut it quickly with a sigh, gripping his nose bridge. “Shit,” he mumbled. “I can’t scold you if you apologize first.”

I laughed and nodded. “I know,” I said, then shook my head. “I really am sorry, for what it’s worth.”

He eyed me from between his fingers and cocked a brow. “Why didn’t you tell me, though? Really?”

I rubbed his arm with a smile. “I didn’t want you to take this on too,” I said. “With everything that happened with the gala…I figured you’d do something unnecessary again. You’d handle things on your own and demand I stay out of it,” I began, pausing to rub my hands together. “I know it’s annoying, but I thought that there had to be a way to fix things without someone sacrificing themselves.”

“What about your friend? That Yoongi kid? Didn’t he sacrifice himself?” he asked.

I chuckled, remembering that mischievous wink, that boy with his head in his computer, that guy who saved a stray dog and bought expensive food for it. “No,” I said, smiling. “He’s found something new to be passionate about.”

Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I hate that I can see your point,” he said, shaking his head. “I wish I could’ve helped you more.”

Gently, I touched the pendant on my collarbone and smiled at him. “You did help, Taehyung,” I said, and his eyes flashed toward me. “More than you can possibly know. You showed me that I’m stronger when I speak out. That I have what it takes to advocate for myself.”

His shoulders slumped with a sigh and he glanced toward the coffee table where Mom’s letter still sat, wrinkled. “You would’ve figured it out on your own eventually,” said Taehyung with a pout.

I smiled. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t think I would have.” I sighed and watched the letter as if it might change the longer I looked at it. “It took you to shake it out of me.”

“Well…that’s one contribution at least,” he said with a sigh.

“It bothers me.”

He sat upright and stared at me wide-eyed. “Huh?”

I shook my head. “Not that you’ve been helping me, but that it took someone else pushing me for me to finally get myself together,” I said, brow furrowed as I leaned back against the couch cushions. I crossed my arms and stewed over it, still staring at the letter. “I feel like everything I’ve done has been because of either you or Jungkook.”

Taehyung stiffened. “Wait, what?”

I sat up and frowned. “Yeah. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get,” I said, thinking about that stupid letter. If not for Taehyung, I probably would never have heard from my mom again.

“Y/N, you just got home from blackmailing a billionaire CEO,” he said, raising his brows. “I don’t think any of that had to do with me or Jungkook.”

I shook my head. “I dunno,” I said, trying to name the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Taehyung sighed and leaned into the couch, glancing up toward the TV. “What’re you watching?”

“I’m not sure,” I said, reclining beside him albeit uneasily as my thoughts kept swirling.

We both watched the screen for a moment and I felt the call of sleep beckoning again. Why with Taehyung did I always fall asleep? Perhaps he was a comfortable person. Our relationship had after all began when he left me trinkets while I slept at work.

“My agent wants me to start thinking about doing a documentary,” he said, like the thought couldn’t remain in his head.

I hummed. “Weird,” I said with a nod. “About you?”

“Yeah. Since public interest is so high right now, she thinks it might be a good time to start working on something,” he said, then shook his head. “But I don’t wanna be followed by a big film crew that I don’t know and everyone she’s suggested has been awkward.”

“Hm,” I said, resting my head against the back of the couch, eyes fluttering shut.

“I just want a small company, you know? If I’m going to do it, that is,” he continued, but his voice was growing more and more distant.

And before I knew it, I was asleep.

“Hey-wait, what the fuck?”

“Oh…sorry.”

“I…you…what are you even doing here?”

“I fell asleep.”

“Why were you here late?”

“Because I-…ah, forget it.”

I groaned and rolled over, tumbling off the couch and onto the rug. I stared up at the front door, the source of the noise, and saw Jungkook in the doorway. Smiling, I gave him a wave and pushed up to my bottom.

“Morning,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

Jungkook gave me a pout. “Don’t give me that cute face,” he said, jerking a thumb at Taehyung who, by that point, I’d only just begun to register as being in my apartment at all. “What’s he doing here?”

“He came over last night to scold me,” I said, standing to my feet with the help of the coffee table. My fingers brushed Mom’s letter and I recoiled like I’d touched a hot stove.

“Scold you?” asked Jungkook, eyes round. He tuned to Taehyung and frowned. “Why were you scolding her? And why didn’t you do it during business hours?”

“Jungkook,” I said, laughing as I approached. I gave his shoulder a pat before breezing past him into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I’d slept in my work skirt and blouse, so both were horribly wrinkled now. Great, and I still had to get to work in a few hours. “What are you doing here, Kook?” I called out into the hallway.

But to my surprise, both boys had followed me in to the bathroom and were beginning to cram themselves into the small space with me. I shouted as Jungkook shoved my pelvis into the countertop with his hip so he could perch on the toilet seat. Taehyung left a more reasonable distance between us and lingered in the doorway.

“I heard about what happened with Yoongi. Jin told me Yoongi’s leaving Bangtan and gave me an out too,” he said, then gave Taehyung a cautious look. “Can I talk about this with him?”

I chuckled and nodded, swishing my mouth with water. “Mhm,” I said.

Taehyung hummed. “So you’re leaving the shady business?”

Jungkook, his defenses lowering, nodded and returned his eyes to me. “Yeah. I want to do what I love instead.”

“What do you love?” asked Taehyung.

“I wanna make movies,” said Jungkook with a soft smile. “I bet you’d get it, being an artist and everything.”

Taehyung smiled and nodded. “Boy do I,” he said with a sigh. “Deciding to leave home and go it alone was really tough, but once I did it I never regretted it. Not even for a second.”

Jungkook grinned. “That’s comforting to hear, at least.”

I glanced between them a few times as the beginnings of a scheme began working in my brain. “You two are actually really similar, now that I think about it,” I said with a nod.

Jungkook scoffed. “No way,” he said with a snort.

I shot a warning glance at him and he quieted down. “I mean it,” I said. “You both see beauty in the ordinary and want to capture that.”

Taehyung raised his brows. “Is that something you’re interested in, Jungkook?”

He pouted and shrugged, watching the floor. “Yeah, I guess.”

Taehyung chuckled. “Man, I wish I would’ve known sooner! I take photos, so if you ever want to go and get some material, I’m free.”

Jungkook glanced up with wide eyes. “Huh?” he asked.

Taehyung nodded. “Yeah. Video is really dynamic, but I don’t have an eye for it. I’d love to see your process.”

Jungkook smiled, just a little, and sat up straighter. “Wait, you mean it?”

“Yeah, of course,” said Taehyung with a laugh. “Give me your number and we can plan something.”

I smiled knowingly and leaned back against the wall so the two could exchange contact information. “You know,” I began, rubbing Jungkook’s shoulder. “Jungkook’s working for a film company now.”

Jungkook stiffened. “N-Not yet! I just sent off my video, but-,”

“But you’re in. I saw that video, Kook. And, as an art curator, I’m telling you it’s good,” I said.

Taehyung’s eyes went wide. “For real?” he asked.

Jungkook shrugged, his knees spread wide as he sat slumped slightly. “Yeah. Probably, anyway.”

Taehyung scoffed. “Well…I might have a really big project for you guys if you’re interested.”

Jungkook stiffened. “What?”

“Let’s chat about it today. Y/N, do you mind if I steal him for a while?” asked Taehyung.

I smiled and gestured toward Jungkook with both hands. “He’s all yours.”

Jungkook glanced up at me, wide-eyed. “Wait, what’s happening?”

I chuckled. “Meet me after work, okay?” I asked with a smile, patting his shoulder as I slid past both of them to get ready for my shift.

As I was getting ready to leave work, I noticed a few text messages on my phone from while I was working. Smiling, I unlocked it and read over the text.

Nararawr: I’ve got an interview with Ori.

Nararawr: The receptionist said I had to interview properly if I wanted the job, no handouts.

Nararawr: IDK you did, but…thank you. I’ll be sure to do my best!

Nararawr: Yoongi came by my class on Monday. I assume that’s also your doing :P

Nararawr: He said he had some things to explain to me, so we’re meeting up on Friday to talk about everything. Methinks it’s a…*gasp*…DATE?!

Nararawr: At any rate, thank you. I won’t waste this opportunity. Thank you for letting me get this myself. I appreciate you more than I say.

I ran a finger along my screen and chuckled. Of course he’d gone. I knew he would. Gently, I typed out a response.

Y/N: Hey, I didn’t do much. I’m just glad everything worked out. Let’s meet up on Saturday to chat! I’ve also got some things to explain to you. And besides I wanna hear about you…*gasp*…DATE?!

I smiled and slid my phone into my purse, removing my ascot and stuffing it inside along with it. The shift was quick, quicker than usual as I’d been scheduled during a busier time of day. The midday rush had died down by the end, and Areum gave me a four-fingered wave goodbye as I made my way back toward the exit from the break room. But as I stepped into the hall, Mr. Kwon jogged up behind me and grabbed my shoulder. I jumped a little and spun around to face him.

“Y/N! Thank God I caught you,” he said with a breathless laugh.

I smiled and gave him a bow. “Is there anything I can help you with, Sir?” I asked.

“If you have time, I’d love you to join me for a meeting right now,” he said.

“With who?” I asked.

“It’s-,” he began, but paused with a chuckle.

He grinned and glanced over my shoulder as the elevator dinged and out walked a few familiar faces. No way. Two of the Japanese philanthropists I’d sold paintings to all those weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime. I bowed deeply at each of them.

“Hello,” I said once I stood upright once more.

“Ah! Are you going to be in the meeting as well?” asked one man with a smile.

I took a peek at Mr. Kwon who gave me an encouraging nod and a smile, and turned back to the philanthropists. “Um…yes,” I said with a smile.

“Wonderful!” he said. “I was telling Mr. Kwon that we’d love to have you.”

“Have me…?” I began, but Mr. Kwon simply laughed and shuffled me back into the gallery, leading all of us to his office.

I stared at the letter on my coffee table, now dressed in my favorite turtleneck and the same skirt I’d worn to meet Jungkook for our study date, months and months ago. Any minute, he’d show up in his car, awaiting my arrival so we could go somewhere. Anywhere.

And still, here I was. Staring at that stupid letter. What did I think would happen if I kept looking at it? Would it suddenly sprout wings and fly away? Would it burn up in flames?

My phone buzzed and I knew he was here. I leapt to my feet and, without thinking, swiped the letter and pocketed it before rushing out the front door to meet Jungkook downstairs.

Jungkook and I sat beneath the dome stars, resting on a blanket in the grass at a park by my apartment. One I hadn’t been to in a long time. Neither of us was saying much, not after the initial flood of information exchange. How he was going to be in touch with Taehyung regarding that documentary, how the two are actually pretty compatible, how everything had gone with Yoongi at Sanyo.

Now there was just silence. The comfortable kind.

I knew I had to tell him about what had happened in the meeting today. If anyone needed to know, it was him.

But I let myself indulge in the silence for a moment longer. “My mom wrote to me,” I said, resting on my palms as I stared up at the fresh, cloudless autumn night sky. Stars splayed out like paint splatters.

Jungkook glanced at me, eyes wide. “She did?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. She wants to meet me.”

“She…she does?”

“Yeah,” I said with a chuckle. “I thought…I thought I might feel really vindicated when this moment finally came, but I kinda just feel…empty.”

“Empty…,” repeated Jungkook softly.

I nodded. “Because she wants to meet with me to get to Taehyung,” I said with a nod. “Isn’t it a little pathetic? Reaching out to your estranged daughter once she can benefit you?” I chuckled. “And what’s more pathetic is that I’m actually considering going.”

“Y/N,” said Jungkook softly, chiding. “I’ll support whatever choice you make,” he said, eyes boring into me intently.

I smiled and leaned toward him, giving him a chaste peck, and nodded. “Thank you,” I said with a sigh. “You know, it’s been bothering me for a while now,” I said, touching the ruby necklace where it met my skin. “I wonder what I’d be on my own. Who I’d be. Without you or Taehyung or Dad or Nara or anyone supporting me.”

“That’s a sad thought,” said Jungkook softly.

I shook my head. “It’s not,” I said. “I wanna know, Jungkook. All my life…I’ve been holding on to people so tight that I forgot I’m also a person worth holding on to. I forgot that I’m a person at all.”

Jungkook reached out and laced our fingers gently, inching closer. “I understand.”

“And I appreciate you for that,” I said, chuckling. “But…I wanna know what I’m made of when I’m on my own. Up until now, the only thing making me move forward has been circumstance. I haven’t done anything by myself. I haven't grown because I actively wanted to become better, but because I’ve been forced to through my relationships with you. With Taehyung. With Namjoon. With…everyone.”

Jungkook nodded. “You wanna stand on your own two feet.”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna see what you’re capable of,” he said, smiling.

I smiled too. “Which is why I’m gonna take a job offer in Japan.”

Jungkook coughed a little, sputtering, before staring down at me with wide eyes. “Wait, what? Where the hell did that come from?”

I laughed. “Today, my boss at the gallery offered me a year-long position at a new gallery they’re opening in Tokyo. He’s been having these talks with a bunch of philanthropists who I sold paintings to. I guess they really wanted to have me on the team at least for the first year to train new employees. I’ll be done with my degree in a few months anyway and I’ll be a manager,” I said, watching his expression change from shock to something like respect, mingling with a tinge of sadness.

“I…Y/N, that’s incredible,” Jungkook said, laughing as he swept me up in his arms. “I mean, I’ll miss you like hell but this is an amazing opportunity. You’d be crazy not to take it.”

I smiled and held on to him tightly, inhaling the sweet, gentle scent of his cologne, feeling the firm expanse of his chest. He rubbed my side, tender, and pulled back to press his palm against my cheek, smiling. “Let’s call it…our test period,” I said with a grin. He raised his brows. “After everything that happened, I can’t say I trust you one-hundred percent.”

He nodded. “I get it.”

“So…this year abroad,” I began, resting my hand atop his as he smoothed his fingers against my cheek. “If we still feel the same way about each other when I get home, then we can start again. For real this time.”

He swallowed hard and smiled, his thumb rubbing circles into my warm skin. “A test period,” he repeated with a nod. “I know I’ll pass.”

I laughed and gave his stomach a poke. “Don’t get cocky. I also have to pass,” I said with a smile.

“I’ll make sure you pass,” he said with a wink.

I shoved him away and stuck out my tongue, miming gagging. “We’ll see,” I teased.

He smiled. “I’m really proud of you,” he said.

I raised my brows. “You are?”

He nodded. “A few months ago, you wouldn’t be able to take this opportunity. You would have held yourself back and let it go to someone else.”

I blinked at my lap as I thought. “I…I guess so, huh?”

“The you from before…I don’t think the you today would like her much,” he said with a chuckle. “Do you?”

The letter suddenly felt heavy in my pocket, like it was burning a hole. Without another word, I pulled it out and stared at it, off-white, worn at the corners. And I took it in both hands before yanking each corner, tearing it clean in half. And again. And again. And again and again until the pieces were small as confetti. Then I opened my palm and let the gentle, chilly breeze carry the scraps away, gone forever into the streets of Seoul.

“That was brave,” said Jungkook from beside me, rubbing my back.

I smiled, a sense of ease washing over me, and turned to him. “I’m about to do something braver,” I said, meeting his curious eyes with a smirk.

I reached out and clamped both hands on his cheeks. He gasped a little as I yanked his face down to meet mine. I tried to convey with a kiss exactly what I needed him to understand. That he wasn’t a bad person, just lost for a while. That he deserved to be happy. That he was strong and smart and talented and so full of potential. That what I felt for him wasn’t something transient, like receipts, like a memo. That it was forever.

He leaned into the kiss, deepening it slightly with a tilt of his head. His lips were sweet with chapstick and soft, never pushy, gentle always. And as I slowly let my fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck, I felt him growing flushed, the heat from his face reaching mine through the small fraction of space between us.

Slowly, I pulled away and met his eyes, smiling. “I love you, too,” I said finally.

His eyes glittered with growing moisture and he smiled slightly, scoffing. “Jeez, baby,” he said, wiping his eyes. “You surprised me,” he mumbled.

I chuckled and reached around to the clasp on my necklace, removing it and holding it in my fingers. Slowly, I took his hand and flipped it palm up. I dropped the necklace and smiled at him.

“What’s this about?” he asked, eyeing me.

I closed his fingers around the necklace and patted his fist. “Hold on to that for me,” I said. “And don’t give it back to me until I come back from Japan.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll only take it back when I’ve proven that I can stand on my own two feet,” I said with a nod.

He furrowed his brow before meeting my gaze once more. “You want me to keep this for a year?”

I smirked. “It’ll also keep other girls from getting too cozy if they see that in your room.”

He gaped. “Y/N!” he shouted. “You really think I’m gonna be seeing other people while you’re gone?!”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Wait…are you gonna see other people?!” he shouted, pointing an accusing finger my way.

“I dunno,” I repeated, giggling.

He frowned and leaned down to press a pouty kiss to my lips. “You’d better not or I’ll fly over there give you an earful.”

I laughed, ruffling his hair. “One year…are you sure you like me enough to hold out that long?”

His expression softened and he took my hand in his, pressing a kiss to my palm. “That much and more,” he said gently. “I’ll wait as long as I have to.”

And with that, I smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. I didn’t know where life would lead us, or what might change in a year. I wasn’t sure how I’d tell Dad, how I’d tell Nara. But I knew enough. I knew that the people in my life were good, that they deserved to be beside me. I knew that the ones who walked away from me weren’t meant to stay, and that they weren’t meant to come back either. I knew that the person I was becoming was someone I could finally believe in. And I knew that I could trust the people I loved to be there, always.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts ot7 au #bts series #bts fluff #bts angst #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts reader insert

[sevenfactorial]

On the topic of math REUs

So I’m finally getting around to writing about this (also using it as a a draft for when I talk about REUs at math club next semester lol). This is based off my singular experience so of course it’ll vary quite a bit. Also yeah, it got really long.

First, some context. I went to an 8 week program several hours away from home at a mid-sized public university. It’s math department isn’t tiny, but mine is bigger I think (it has a math grad program while the REU school doesn’t for one) and definitely does more research (I go to a R1 school, the REU school is not). My REU was also in a mid-sized town compared to the small city I’m used to. There was two math projects going on, with 4 people on each plus a student from the university working with my project on a different grant and two professors mentoring each group. In addition, they support a much larger chemistry REU who we were housed with.

The Research

I worked on algebraic graph theory (the pure math project, while the other group did applied math). Specifically we looked at the abelian sandpile model, also known as chip firing and some other names.

We weren’t given a specific question and were more encouraged to find our own questions within the topic. We found the freedom really nice and interesting, but also felt like we would have gotten more done if we were given a narrower window of things to look at. Many REUs are given a specific question/project (the other group did) so it varies. Coming up with research questions is often considered harder than making discoveries themselves so it was frustrating in a way but I'm also glad I got to deal with it.

With 5 people working on the topic, we split up and formed groups multiple times through the summer. All of us ended up working on one question(looking at a group defined by sandpiles on strongly regular graphs; I’m not going to get into detail about the material itself but message/send an ask if you want to know more. You can also probably find our final write up online once our mentor posts it) but also had personal/two or three person mini-projects going on. My main one was not particularly successful since I eventually realized I was trying to do something similar to a conjecture that has been open since the 90s (abelian sandpiles was started in the 80s, possibly 70s?) which was sort of disappointing but still interesting.

We worked more computationally than I’m used to since graphs are just... kinda weird and the algebra was sort of borderline what we were capable of learning and doing in a short time. Note that you don’t have to have a strong background in the topic to work on an REU. You don’t have to have any background often times; the mentors will likely do a crash course on it during the first week or two which is intense but works just fine. I happened to have a little and one of my labmates had done algebraic graph theory research before, but the mentors didn't assume much prior knowledge (the application should be clear about if they do expect you to have certain background but typically, they just assume you’ve taken several math classes and have experience with proof writing. maybe a linear alg or programming class).

At the end of the summer, we did a presentation for the other group and anyone else in the department who wanted to attend and wrote up a final report together. Some programs expect something publishable, though I get the impression most are more aiming for “something that can be published with heavy refinement.” We’re encouraged to present at our home institution or at conferences if we can/want to and have a decent chance of getting funding from their department to do so if necessary.

The Work Day

Working at the REU is definitely the closest thing I’ve had to a standard job. The first weekish, we met at 9:30 and 1:00 each day for the background crash course lecture, with a break in between to work without the mentors and get lunch. The students would then work without the mentors until 5. After the first week or two, we only had a meeting with the mentors once every day or two but continued to work roughly from 9:30 to 5, with a lunch break from 12 to 1. This was really mostly our choice to do so. We all did some work outside the work day, but nothing like the amount of homework we're used to as math students. A lot of us found it baffling how much free time we had.

We were given several options for places to work in the math building and everyone typically worked in the same room but it wasn’t forced either. Sometimes I spent the afternoon in the library if I decided I couldn’t take social interaction and did work at a coffee shop downtown a couple mornings. We were also able to visit the mentors in their offices outside of meeting times.

They also did tea once a week where a different faculty talked about their experience/path to their current career and gave advice for grad school and the like.

Outside of Work

The mentors and organizers did a couple events. We were close to DC so they took us one Saturday (I went back on my own to visit counter-example another weekend which is when the squirrel encounters happened), one mentor hosted a memorial day bbq at his house and another did a game day at hers. Another mentor is an amateur astronomer so he took us up to a mountain top to stargaze one night which was fantastic. All the math students (from both projects plus those who were students there and were around for research or whatever) were invited to all the events and chem REU students were also invited to some of them. Likewise, we were invited to some events hosted by the chem REU though I went to less of those.

Mostly though, we were left to our own devices outside of work hours. We were put in a dorm which was effectively a 2 bed 2 bath apartment for 4 people which included a kitchen (we were able to buy meal swipes on a faculty plan and I bought some but mostly cooked). I didn’t bring a car so I often went grocery shopping with one of my labmates or roommate since the nearest grocery store was a bit over a mile away.

Downtown was a lot closer though, so I often walked there on my own to a restaurant or coffee shop. They had a nice downtown area with a lot of food options so that was really fun.

We were nestled between several forests so me and some of my labmates went hiking on Saturday and me and some of my roommates attempted camping once as well (story and some pictures here: https://sevenfactorial.tumblr.com/post/186095927170/yesterday-me-and-my-roommates-went-camping-except).

I was also able to keep up with various friends at home. A few of us read a linear alg book together for the first month or so of the summer and I continued playing d&d with a few of my friends on a bi-weekly basis via video chat (we usually do it over video chat in the first place actually), though we intentionally skipped during the last two-ish weeks of my REU.

This is obviously very dependent on where your REU is but kinda gets the gist of what a lot of programs do in terms of activities. Activities tended to be announced/planned pretty last minute though, so it’s a bit of a guessing game.

My Take Away

I liked going to my REU. For me, the most valuable things was definitely getting to meet math people from other places and having different experiences from what I’m used to.

I really love my department at home but comparing experiences was fascinating. Whether that’s what subjects are offered or how things are structured or how we interacted with our department, it varied a lot. Having that knowledge is useful in my opinion.

Life experiences are also really different. Two of my labmates are from small liberal arts schools in the NE and one is from an engineering college on the west coast. There aren’t fireflies on the west coast, for example, and not many in new england either, so everyone else was fascinated by how many there were (there were slightly more there than I’m used to since I live in a larger city, but not enough for me to find it unusual).

I also grew up in the same city I go to undergrad in too so spending two months somewhere else was really valuable for me. I had never been away from my parents for that long (I tend to not spend a lot of time at home but I visit for short amounts of time frequently) but I will be going out of state for grad school since there aren’t any grad programs in my state that I’m interested in. My parents were encouraging but pretty freaked out about me being gone for two months (we all survived).

TL;DR My REU was a bit like an intense but flexible job where I was able to work on an interesting project and meet a lot of people with similar yet very different experiences from my own. I recommend applying!

#reu stories #seven stories #math reu #math major life #long post

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Introducing...

Lindsay Munroe.

Lindsay Munroe comes out swinging with her debut single ‘Mirror’ from her upcoming EP Our Heaviness. A bold debut from the Manchester based alt-indie artist with an accompanying video which you can view below.

Munroe is a captivating, unflinchingly honest new artist who evokes acts like Sharon Van Etten, Marika Hackman and PJ Harvey. At once assured and startlingly vulnerable, her music invites you into her world, but on her terms. ‘Mirror’- produced by Chris Hamilton (LUMP, Torres) and featuring Fern Ford (The Big Moon) - is an indie-rock romp with sharp, poignant lyrics tackling self-identity and the unrealistic standards set for women.

We had a chat with Lindsay about her influences, ‘Mirror’, her songwriting process and what she has coming up next. Read the Q&A below.

What was it that led you to make music?

"I’ve dabbled in music since I was very young. I’ve always been singing, then learned guitar as a teenager (i.e. at the point where everyone thinks it’s a skill that might make them cool) and wrote on and off during that time. It took years of messing around, playing open mics and  changing genres pretty drastically.

"I’ve always made music, but it’s only in the past couple of years that I’ve done that very intentionally and have been clear in what I’m creating. Music has always been a way of expressing myself, but has changed from being a type of emotional overflow to something more purposeful. It comes from a more grounded and confident space now."

How would you describe your sound? Who/what are your influences?

"I fit quite comfortably within the Alt-Indie bracket, I think. My instruments have always been guitar and vocals, so the songs all start in that form. But I’m fascinated by synths and distorted guitar sounds and weird noises. I love taking the basic form of a song and transforming it into another beast entirely. There’s one tune on the upcoming EP that ostensibly started as a country song and ended up being, to me, the most sonically interesting track on the record.

"A lot of my influences in recent years have been female or female fronted bands. I started out playing folk music because it was the only genre accessible to me where women were clearly at the forefront of the ‘scene’. Lots of those musicians then changed and developed, which opened my eyes to a whole new world of musical possibility. So Marika Hackman, Sharon Van Etten, Laura Marling. Our Girl and The Japanese House are both incredible. But I’m also big into pop music and Maggie Rogers, King Princess and Harry Styles are adding a lot of joy to my life at the moment."

What's the story behind ‘Mirror’ and it’s music video?

"The track is about being pissed off by my own insecurity, basically. It came from gaining some confidence, looking back on the ways I used to try and shrink myself to fit unrealistic ideals and expectations and feeling absolute rage at the fact I ever felt I had to do that. It’s also a celebration of how other people can help us gain a clearer image of ourselves. I’ve been so self critical and warped in my perception of myself at times, but having friends or lovers who have looked at me with total affection and adoration has helped me see myself that way too.

"The video came from the lyric “I used to wish that I was made of clay, to be moved and molded every day”. There’s clearly a lot of anger in the song, but on the other side of that is the joy of not feeling that way anymore. That’s something we wanted to capture in the video, that freedom. So we came up with this idea of a class, a harsh teacher and a food-fight style sequence with clay flying around the place. It was an absolute joy to film."

What's your songwriting process?

"I don’t really have one specific process. Sometimes a song just falls out in a couple of hours fully formed, other times its a lyric or a riff floating around for months. 3 out of 5 of the tracks on the upcoming EP were written over a week where I went away specifically to write intensively, and that was a really productive but maddening way to work. I think I’ll probably stick with that tactic, it drove me mental but in a sort of fun way."

Finally, what next for you? We hear you have a EP coming soon. What can you tell us about that?

"I have an EP coming out on May 8 called Our Heaviness that I’ve been working on with Chris Hamilton (LUMP, Torres). There will be another single coming out before that, towards the end of March. I’ve got a bunch of shows over the next few months around the UK that will culminate in two headline release shows at The Soup Kitchen, Manchester (May 9) and The Grace, London (May 15)."

Photo credit: Billy Holmes

#lindsay munroe #mirror #introducing