#ctpsd

[hel7l7]

I want the nightmares to end

#vent art #venting #mixed media #ptsd #ctpsd

[angrytraumavoid]

Me as a teenager: I really relate to victims of child abuse. Weird, given my parents are amazing.

Me now: oh.

#parental abuse #emotional abuse #emotional neglect #child abuse #toxic family #family abuse #emotional wounds #dysfunctional family #ctpsd #trauma

[bebsi-cola]

ASPD is part of the ND movement. people with ASPD are not the sole exception to being allowed in trauma spaces, cptsd resources, or care or compassion. people with ASPD need to stop being the line where other disabled people go full ableist and yell how they're inherently different than us or deserve to be locked up, or evil, or criminals by nature. people with ASPD are vulnerable as a direct result of their condition and face higher rates of premature death, homeless, substances abuse, and unemployment. if you cannot stand for a stigmatized mental illness you are making disability spaces actively hostile or other disabled and mentally ill people

#bebsi posting #disability #mental illness #trauma #ctpsd #aspd

[honeypleasejustkillme]

my self portrait ,:) (aka: both)

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd #bpd vent #mommy issues #daddy issues #ctpsd #childhood trauma #traumatic childhood #i’ve got both issues.. but i got rizz #don’t believe me? come find out <3 #bpd meme #childhood ptsd

[dailycupoftrauma]

It's wedding season y'all

#gonna tag this with all the specific niches so don't mind me #south asian #desi wedding #pakistani wedding #pakistan #mehndi #henna #muslim #ctpsd #weddings #family trauma #emotional neglect #eh good enough #weddings are one big giant red trigger button #and not because “oh no im single” #but because it's just one giant reminder of the gaping hole that family trauma left me with #to have the hypothetical wedding i want id have to break so many barriers #fight so many fights #i am not in the place where i have enough boundaries to be able to fight for myself if that happened #only when i feel secure enough in my ability to stand up for myself will i even consider a wedding

[iamthehelperdog]

Gloria, ch 1 pt 1

I’ve been planning this comic forever and had it finished for months, but I keep putting off uploading it. Probably because it deals with a lot of negative emotions for me. But I hope some other folks who can relate find this cathartic. Next pages coming soon

#religious #religious trauma #catholic #catholicism #ex catholic #horror #horror comics #trans #non bianry #trans rights #non-binary rights #childhood trauma #ctpsd

[maidofmetal]

took 28 years but i told my dad he has to be nice to me because i’m mentally ill

#metal speaks #bpd #ctpsd #actually mentally ill #it went well i think 🫡🖤 #i didn’t say it like that #but i did tell him he has to be more accommodating n to ask me how i’m doing more often

[cooperrob3rts]

I was stunned: Tom’s loyalty to the dead was keeping him from living his own life, just as his father’s devotion to his friends had kept him from living. Both father’s and son’s experiences on the battlefield had rendered the rest of their lives irrelevant. How had that happened, and what could we do about it? That morning I realized I would probably spend the rest of my professional life trying to unravel the mysteries of trauma. How do horrific experiences cause people to become hopelessly stuck in the past? What happens in people’s minds and brains that keeps them frozen, trapped in a place they desperately wish to escape?

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - Bessel van der Kolk

#bessel van der kolk #CTPSD #PTSD #ptsd recovery #the body keeps the score #personal

[sour-apple-juice]

People don't understand how deep the urge is to fall into bad habits amongst a world of good things happening to you because it feels normal. You know what to expect

#actuallyptsd #actuallytraumatized #ventcore #bpd #i'm dying #traumatized #trauma #actually traumatized #im still traumatized #complex ptsd #ptsdawareness #cptsdsurvivor #ctpsd #mental health #depression #sh #s3lfharmm #addiction

[hel7l7]

I can't explain how it feels. I just want to get out of myself. I totally forget how to be kind to myself. It feels too dangerous to be soft.

#self harm cw #ptsd #ctpsd #vent art #venting #mixed media

[angrytraumavoid]

actually fucking insane I have to beg for basic human things like attention and communication from my family. these people are insane

#parental abuse #emotional abuse #emotional neglect #child abuse #toxic family #family abuse #emotional wounds #dysfunctional family #ctpsd #trauma

[toshiirou]

the way people, especially other trauma survivors treat ppl with ASPD and other cluster b disorders is so gross tbh. like imagine going "i know you have trauma but the long lasting consequences of that trauma isn't something i like so now i'm going to call you an abuser"

#txt #ctpsd #trauma mention

[disabledopossum]

Me; when remembering my Mother:

#bpd #ctpsd #narcissistic mother #narcissistic abuse

[beatsboy]

7.25 pt 2

the second thing i was taught from a young age was that emotions and, further, vulnerability are a weakness. my mom was constantly degraded for "oversharing" and being "too much" while my dad was the "normal one" who kept to himself and kept personal matters private. before children become fully capable of communicating, and have full use of language, they'll become frustrated when they can't communicate a message to an adult. when a toddler is experiencing an issue and doesn't have the words to communicate it, like they're uncomfortable in some way but can't explain it, and their caretaker isn't responding/listening/understanding, they'll throw a tantrum. because the most frustrating part of being human is being misunderstood. teenagers do this too, except this time, they have the words, their parents just aren't listening. and whenever i tried to talk to my dad, he wouldn't listen, even in the most crucial moments when it mattered the most. anytime i tried to argue with him, i'd get steamrolled by logical fallacies, if i had one wrong statistic in my argument, get gaslit into thinking i was the one who fucked up, or end up feeling stupid for even trying. if even one tear started to well up in my eye, he'd stare at me and tell me that he couldn't talk to me when i was "emotional." then, in the hospital, i was tuaght a coping mechanism: to leave. they told us that, sometimes, we're not in the right headspace to have a conversation or be in a situation, and if you feel like you're starting to get too anxious/have a panic attack, then sometimes it's better to just ask for a minute to calm down and return. so, when these conversations would get heated, and i started to get emotional, i started to ask to leave. but he wouldn't let me leave, either. if i stayed, i cried, because i was a frustrated toddler that didn't have the right words to convince my father to listen. and i never would. and of course, after all the energy i put into talking to him, the only thing that ever got to him was my silence. and that's the only thing that has gotten me any peace from the constant saga that was having my dad as a father. anyway, he wouldn't let me leave, he wouldn't let me cry, so i created a third option for myself: dissociate. and it worked the same way blacking out does; the more you drink and more often you black out, the less alcohol it takes for you to black out each following time. it started with arguments getting to a really bad place and turning my brain off, already envisioning me hurting myself, shutting off all my emotions, and going into autopilot. i'd pick a spot to focus on, then unfocus my eyes, and simply nod and say "yes" or "i understand" as he spoke in the background. eventually, i'd start dissociating as soon as he started to berate me. i knew how this ended. it just became easier to not fight back and go somewhere else in my head until he was satisfied. for a long time, i thought that the first time i dissociated was when i cut my thighs with my dad's kitchen knife. in retrospect, now, i know that was just the first extended episode. i had been practicing the whole year leading up to that, in every conversation i had with my dad pretty much. and i've realized, just how much i don't fully remember about that time in my life.

#deardiary #transmasc #confessions #parent trauma #ctpsd #childhood trauma #5150 #dissociation #trauma tw

[thisisadecisionimayregret]

Just finished reading What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo and wow. I. I needed to read that. It really resonated with me and helped me put pieces of my life together I hadn't realized connected to one another, and there's a lot of things about myself and my past and my present that make more sense to me now than they ever have before. It's also intimidating, a little bit scary, to have read it and to now know just how much therapy and work I have ahead of me in order to heal. But it's a starting point. There is a path.

Anyway, I definitely recommend this book, particularly if you've experienced abuse in your life.

#what my bones know #samantha talks #ctpsd

[squishyandferocious]

Sometimes i find myself looking outside, from the protective layer behind the window or screen that i'm peering through.. and as much as parts of me want to be out there in the world, feeling the water on my skin, the freshness of the air, the sounds and buzzing of people living their lives, the nature that is always there ready to welcome me and co regulate with me..

i notice that i feel undeserving, like i don't get to be happy like that. i don't get to feel alive and vibrant and connected like that..

sometimes i feel the hatred of my mother towards me reflected in the way i relate to the greater Mother herself.. and i tell myself that i don't deserve to swim in her water, to drink from her love.

I was only realising/been able to put this in to words recently..

i know that it's not true.. but gosh it feels so much deeper than my mental beliefs..

i often wonder.. who's pain is this? who's deep unworthiness did i somewhere agree to carry for them? and where did i tell myself that was what loving ment? to carry someones pain for them, even if it kills me?

oh yeah.. my mumma.

#CTPSD #trauma #soul #reflections #mother #healing #family constellations #shadow #family #happy #sad #tw self destruction #love