#do other people define close friend as someone you can talk about feelings and personal problems with

[leah-lover]

First time. Alessia russo x reader.

Smut 18+

Alessia's first time.

You loved England camp. You didn’t get to see a lot of your friends because you played abroad. So you get to make up for lost time. Since the beginning of your career Alessia lotte you have climbed every ladder together. Then at the beginning of your international career you added Ella to the mix. The 4 of you were inseparable.

You spent a few years at Man United and your relationship with Ella and Alessia got even stronger. You seem to understand each other just by eye contact.

After a few years at United you got picked to go to france. This move affected your relationship greatly because you didn't have timùe to hang out, or talk at all. This drives a little wedge in your relationship.

The only time you guys hung out was in camp.

This time was no different, after training and the team dinner, you lotte, ella and alessia went to your and alessia’s roomù to hang out.

The conversation flew by as you caught up with their lives.

“ So are you seeing anyone?” asked lotte who was sitting next to me in bed, ella and alessia were in the opposite bed.

“ define seeing.” you replied.

“ dating.” she clarified.

“ Well that's not it, but I have been with people, yes.” you answer with all honesty. “ What about you lessi.” you ask.

“ You see less face blush and she turns red quickly. '' I still haven't found the one, '' she replied.

“ It's not about the one lessi bear, it's about basic human needs.” you add.

“ Well no not for me. I want to feel safe and comfortable and I still haven't found the person yet.” she says now turning completely flushed.

“ Well I think you are less beautiful and that person would be lucky.” you say

“ stop it you lot flirt with each other when we are not here.” said Ella jokingly.

“ I think that's our que toone . I am tired, let's go.”

“But i'm having a blast” she complained which earned her a smack on the arm. They quickly got up and left.

You were left with your roomie and you both went separately to do your nighttime routine. After a while you were both comfy in your separate beds but neither one of you could sleep.

“Do you think I am wrong for waiting?” She asked out of the blue.

“ I don't think you are wrong but I think you are missing out.” You responded with your eyes closed. The only light source in the room was a small lamp in the far corner so you couldn't read Alessia’s face but you heard her shift to her side facing you.

“ I think I waited too long . I am just embarrassed.” She says

“ No, the point you made about needing someone you trust is valid.” You responded. You feel her progressing blue eyes staring at you but you don't look back afraid of what you will see.

“Look at me.” she ordered.

You slowly shift to face her only seeing her shape because the room was dark.

“Less, don't mess with me.”

“ I trust you. I… you know.”

“ I don't actually.”

“Please come here.”

You obey her order, go next to her and slip under her covers.

“ Use your words start girl “

“Please kiss me.’

You do as she says, and give her the sweetest, most lovely kids in the world.

“ We can stop if you want to.” You insist

“No, I want this. I want you. I want to feel you.” She says before groping your face and kissing you sensually.

You stay like that for a while before you move to her neck and kids it softly. Then get coalker bone Al while you hands are roaming her body and hers are feeling yours.

Alessia was patient, she didn't rush to ask for anything, she was the most perfect girl.

“ You are such a good girl baby.” You say when you take off her shirt and bra to test if she would like it. You only got a sweet little moan in response.

“You are so beautiful.” You praise her as you move to her breasts.

You give each one a good amount of kissing and attention wanting to use other things so as not to overwhelm her.

You then slide your hands in her panties discovering the wet patch

“Somebody is excited.” You whisper in her ear only to see that her eyes were glued shut

“You are the most beautiful, perfect girl in the world. You are doing exactly what you should do, which is to enjoy yourself.” you whisper again in her ear soothing her.

She relaxed before she jumped again when your finger touched her swollen clit.

“It's okay baby girl.” You whisper again soothing her

You start rubbing little circles on her clit. You find a place that you think satisfied her as she becomes a moaning mess

“ Less I am gonna slip my finger inside you stop me when you feel uncomfortable.” You say to which she nodded.

“ No less your words please.”

“Okay I will.” She says while panting.

The first finger you slid in was painful as you watched her mix up a moan with a hiss. But when you loosened her up and slid the second one she got comfortable.

After a while of fucking her she says.

“Please I.. am… go…” she stutters.

“ It's okay, star girl, come for me baby. Come on my fingers.” You say as she releases the filthiest moans and comes on your fingers.

“That is a baby Ride it out.” You say kidding her again

‘ that was fucking amazing.”;She says.

“I am supposed to return the favor right?” she asks nervously.

“ Not today you need to rest.” You respond.

“Can you sleep next to me tonight?” She asks .

“Okay.” You say kissing her again.

#alessia russo #alessia russo × reader #alessia russo imagine #alessia russo smut #woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso community #woso request #woso smut #woso x reader

[flodeshe]

Astro Notes 4 💖🌟

I am not a professional astrologer.Keep in mind hese are just observations based on my experience and may not apply to everyone so only take what resonates. Thank you!

- First, I noticed Venus conjunct Moon people tend to be kind to everyone. They can't help it.They  have a big heart.They can be very generous. It can be hard for them to say no. Some people might want to take avantage of them. Also, they can be people pleaser because of their desire to be liked among their peers, especially if it is in Libra ♎or Taurus ♉.I know someone with this placement, and even during an argument she tends to make herself very little,she almost tries to disappear from the situation.They want to avoid conflicts. They might have deceitful tendencies.

- I have a lot of trines and sextiles in synastry with a friend and I know that these are aspects usually considered as the "easy" ones within synastry. So, I have to say that we have a good time together and I think she's really nice but I find our relationship a bit boring sometimes, like there is not much excitment you know? And of course harsh aspects like square and opposition can add tension and difficulty to a relationship. I personally think that when I share some hard aspects whith someone, I tend to learn a lot from the relationship. And I usually build a strong bond with them, it brings more chemistry.But of course, it also brings conflit sometimes that I think are essential in order to grow. But of course, I repeat it : IT DEPENDS ON THE ONES INVOLVED IN THE RELATIONSHIP, some may prefer a lot of easy aspects. I have quite a lot of hard aspects within my natal chart so let's say that I'm used to internal conflicts lol

- I noticed Capricorn ♑ Venuses men tend to be attracted to people who are well put together. People who tend to be elegant and classy.

- We often talk about how Scorpio ♏ascendant/Pluto conjunct Ascendant or in 1st house are usually very magnetic to others. But what about Libra ♎/ Sagittarius ♐ Ascendant and Jupiter in the 1st house individuals ? They tend to attract a lot of attention and have amazing smiles !

- Aquarius♒ placements can give off independant vibes. Kind of like I don't care I'm good on my own type of thing. Also, A LOT OF THEM wear HEADPHONES!!

-I noticed that Capricorn ♑placements always have prominent or well defined teeth/ nose/cheekbones or jawline! It's crazy!

On the left ,Kate Moss (Capricorn ♑ Sun) and Naomi Campbell (Capricorn ♑ Rising)

Natalia Dyer ( Capricorn ♑Uranus, Neptune and Sun)

- Many singers who uses love as an inspiration for their art have Venus conjunct Chiron : 

Taurus ♉Venus conjunct Taurus Chiron : French singer Jacques Brel, who wrote many beautiful love songs : Ne me quitte pas, Quand on a que l’amour, La chanson des vieux amants

Capricorn ♑Venus conjunct Capricorn Chiron : Olivia Rodrigo who wrote : drivers license (of course ! lol), traitor...

Gemini♊ Venus conjunct Gemini Chiron : Adele, who is super known for her love songs : Someone Like you, Hello...

Unfortunately sometimes this aspect in a birth chart can indicate someone whose love life get a lot of attention : Selena Gomez ( Leo ♌Venus conjunct Leo Chiron), Hailey Bieber (Libra ♎Venus conjunct Libra Chiron), Marilyn Monroe ( 28°45' Aries ♈Venus conjunct  0°24' Taurus ♉Chiron)...

- Water Moons ( Cancer♋ /Scorpio ♏/Pisces♓) might feel relaxed and at peace when close to the water. It might be very healing for them to go to the beach/river/lake..

- Fire Moons ( Aries ♈/Leo♌/Sagittarius♐) can be very adventurous. They are usually not afraid to be ridiculous. They can be quite loud too. They are the risk-takers lol

- Earth Moons (Taurus ♉/Virgo ♍/Capricorn ♑) usually love biking 🚴!

- Air Moons (Gemini ♊/ Libra ♎/ Aquarius  ♒) tend to be very active people. They usually don’t sit still and need to do something that stimulates them.

(the pictures were found on Pinterest)

Thank you so much for reading this post!! I hope you are doing well and enjoying your life as much as possible! Sending love 💕and joy !

#astrology #astro notes #astro community #astro observations #moon signs #synastry #venus conjunct chiron #venus conjunct moon #capricorn #aquarius #gemini #virgo #pisces #libra #taurus #aries #leo #scorpio #cancer #sagittarius

[tarotwithlove]

PICK A CARD ⋆ the relationship with your fictional other

a fictional other is defined as: f/o usually stands for fictional other, which is a term often used by self-shippers, mainly on tumblr. you can have romantic, familial and platonic f/os.

· what would they think about you?

· what would your relationship be like?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!

the 18+ version of this PAC is on patreon!

GROUP ONE

cards · ace of swords, two of swords, the hanged man, page of pentacles, king of cups (reversed), ten of swords. 

channelled songs · i don’t care by 2ne1. blessed with a curse by bring me the horizon. far by sza. nobody by miraa may. 

my dear group one ♡ your fictional other would have an immediate attachment to you. they feel like they're surrounded by people who are somewhat inferior to them, unable to hold a proper conversation with them or talk to them as an equal would. they're someone who may thrive on intellectual conversation, which may be at odds with how people perceive them. 

i’m thinking of a character like asmodeus from obey me, so your fictional other may be seen as somewhat airheaded, unintelligent, and self-absorbed. people may not make an effort to connect with them or get to know them beyond the superficial or surface level. yet, right from the start, you treat them differently. you don’t treat them as stupid. you speak to them as an equal - enthusiastically conversing about a shared interest with ease or without putting on any airs. 

you may be one of the only people who your fictional other feels comfortable around. more than anything, as a friend. they always feel like people want something from them or are only getting close to them because of how much they desire them. but because of how you treat them from the beginning, they have a lot of respect for you and feel at home around you. 

this also brings us to what your relationship with your f/o would be like. 

your fictional other may see you as a close friend. actually, as their closest friend. even though this is not just friendship for you and you also have romantic feelings for them. 

you two will spend a lot of time together, with the people around you joking about how attached at the hip you are. and about how funny it is that your f/o has just adopted you as theirs. 

you will likely keep your romantic feelings a secret for the longest time because you don’t want to ruin the friendship. however, you will finally admit your feelings and end up pushing them away. far, far away. they will feel betrayed - as if they lost the only person they could really trust and be themselves with. this confession will also make them overthink your entire relationship and wonder how much of what you were doing was only because you had romantic feelings for them. 

GROUP TWO

cards · queen of pentacles, ace of pentacles, wheel of fortune, seven of cups, strength, the fool. 

channelled songs · lettera a mio padre by ermal meta. candy drip by lucky daye. whoa by rakiyah. heat lightning by mitski. 

my dear group two ♡ there may be an age gap between you and your fictional other - for some, i’m getting that this is thousands of years. i’m not all too familiar with baldur’s gate, but some of you may be reading this pac with astarion in mind (who, if google is to be trusted, is about 200 years old). 

your fictional other thinks of you as an incredibly grounded and mature person. they see you as a person with a good head on their shoulders, who can be relied upon, and who makes a good addition to any team. 

this idea of the team seems so important, as if your fictional other doesn’t really keep people around unless they can provide them with something useful. a skill or resource, or anything else that uplifts and serves a purpose in their life, and in the grander scheme of things. if they saw you as deadweight - no matter how much they’ve come to like you - they would probably leave you behind or go out of their way to teach you something useful. this, too, would depend on how much they actually like you and the potential they see in you. 

but that’s not something you have to worry about, because your fictional other already sees you as a major asset. they already see you as someone they not only want by their side but trust to have by their side.

the relationship between you and your fictional other is honestly so sexually charged, with your f/o seeing you as not only an attractive person but a highly sensual one. i won’t be going into detail about this, but if you’re interested in the sexual relationship between you and your fictional other, there is an 18+ extended version of this pac now up on my patreon!

but! anyway! your relationship with your fictional other may be complicated for some time. there may be this overwhelming sexual and romantic tension for some time - from the time you first meet - but the dynamic of the relationship or your fictional other’s own emotional invulnerability may be keeping them from progressing the relationship beyond this. 

your fictional other will, in many ways, favour you. keeping space for you, buying you things, cooking things just for you - all of these things that can be seen as just something you do for a friend but is inextricably tinged with unspoken desire and love when they are done for you by your fictional other.

GROUP THREE

cards · the fool, three of swords, queen of swords, three of cups, the world, two of swords. 

channelled songs · shrike by hozier. two hearts and no brain by kane strang. drumming song by florence + the machine. high highs to low lows by lolo zouai. 

my dear group three  ♡ your fictional other may be inexperienced where love is concerned, though they are quite cocky, flirtatious, and love the idea of love. someone like sanji from one piece actually comes to mind. this is someone who feels mentally and emotionally challenged by you - in particular, you challenge their idea and past approaches to love and relationship, as well as the ways in which they view themselves. 

honestly, i’m getting a lot of overwhelmingly sad energy for this group, with your fictional other often wondering if they are good enough for you. even just good enough to be around you. 

they see you as someone who is as free-spirited as you are disciplined. they see you as someone who is intelligent, talented and fiercely independent, and they fear that if you see them for who they are instead of who they pretend to be you will immediately dislike them and not want to be around them any longer. so your f/o may walk on eggshells around you, putting on a show as they always put on a show - because, then, you will want to stick around for longer. 

your fictional other may put you on a bit of a pedestal, though to an extent it may be that they have such a low view of themselves. 

for what this relationship itself will be like, it will be a lot of fun. but it will also be lacking in a lot of emotional connection - something which seems to be a purposeful decision on your fictional other’s part. they think that as long as you are always having fun and keeping busy you can have a good relationship without having to get too close. or, more specifically, without you having to get to know them too well. without you ever having to see the real them. 

they will likely keep you laughing, always telling jokes and doing things to keep you entertained. 

travel and adventure is so important to your relationship with your fictional other, with you hardly ever just having a normal day. with you hardly ever just having a day to do nothing or relax around doing nothing. you will both like it this way, though, in many ways chasing after this excitement - not just together but likely with a group of friends or close companions. 

GROUP FOUR

cards · six of wands, four of pentacles, ten of wands, king of pentacles, two of pentacles, death. 

channelled songs · skip skip by purple kiss. not friendly by flo milli. every other freckle by alt-j. budget by megan thee stallion & latto. 

my dear group four ♡ in the nicest way possible, your fictional other comes across as quite pathetic. they may be someone who throws money around in an attempt to buy affection or someone who uses money to make up for their perceived flaws. though, in the same vein, i don't see your f/o as someone who focuses too much on their flaws - in fact, they may think that they're perfect - they've just always been taught that money has more power than anything else. and, if they want something, they can just throw money at it and get it. 

but this does not work with you. no matter how much money they throw at you, you can't be bought or swayed, which, in and of itself makes them cling to you. 

they see you as someone who is overconfident. you may be similar in this regard, though they do not see themselves like this at all. to them, you are someone who could benefit from more money (or jewels or gifts) so they don’t understand why you won’t just accept the things they are giving you. 

it’s kind of funny, because it’s probably the first time your fictional other has even thought this much about another person in their whole life. thus, they feel kind of overwhelmed by it. they wonder if you’ve gone through some kind of childhood trauma that’s made you like this. you pique their interest and they want to know everything about you. 

saiko metori from the disastrous life of saiki k comes to mind, so that may be who some of you are reading this group for. 

your relationship with your fictional other may be… complicated. they may obsessively pursue you - half because they’re genuinely intrigued by you and want to be with you and half because they feel a desire to own you. this desire to own you is driven by their upbringing and values; these values that tell him if they like something that means they have to own it. 

you may be attracted to this fictional other or like them enough to be friends with them, but as you get to actually know them you may for a time try to put distance between you two. even if only to sort out your thoughts about this person, this relationship, and where you want this connection to go. 

this relationship may change drastically after you put this distance between you, as this sends the message to your f/o that you are not ashamed to set boundaries and stand on them. after this, they may try their best to listen to you and communicate with you as two equals instead of a rich kid and the person they’re trying to woo. though at times they are doing this in a more obviously begrudging manner just because they don’t want to put distance between you again. 

#** #tarot #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #fictional other #f/o #f/o community #tarotblr #tarotonline #tarotcommunity #spirituality #spiritualism #channelled message #channeled message #self shipping #self ship #self shipping community #witchblr

[drdemonprince]

Have you ever found it worth floating the possibility to probably autistic people and maskers (close friends, family, etc) that they might be autistic?

I have tried it a couple times and it seems to just make people get really defensive and upset with me (which I can handle), but then also people start to hold me at arms length. My intention is to bring us closer together by talking about our shared struggles and how to improve our lives (which was totally fine in the past talking about our shared traits without the autism label), but attaching the possibility of autism to it has the opposite effect. The people I’m around are VERY adhd-affirming, and I see how having that connection over the mutual struggle brings my adhder loved-ones together, and I really crave that type of connection with the people I already love and have so much in common with.

You shouldn't tell someone what you think their identity ought to be, no matter your intentions.

For one, many people who are masking or undiagosed harbor deeply stigmatized views about what Autism even is, and so they will not take the statement as a positive declaration of belonging, but rather an accusation that they have failed to conceal what is most frightening or vulnerable about themselves. Exposing their most hidden side will make them feel very unsafe and judged, even if your intention is the opposite.

Telling someone that you think they might be neurodivergent also suggests that you know them better than they know themselves, which is untrue, and may feel invasive and unwelcome to hear.

Your friend could be the most obviously Autistic to ever Autistic from your point of view, but the choice of how to self-define still falls solely on them. There are many different ways for a person to interpret their experience, and they might arrive at some other word or concept that better does their experience justice from their perspective.

our identities exist to help us make sense of our lives and express who we are to people, on our terms. Most neurodivergent people are absolutely sick of always getting defined from an external point of view. We don't need member of our own community doing that to us further.

If you have benefitted from coming to understand yourself as Autistic, you can and should speak about that openly and positively. That will be enough incentive for anyone else in your life who is neurodivergent to explore the possibility for themselves. If you vibe easily with someone because you share traits in common or seem to naturally understand one another, let that be enough. Tell the person you feel comfortable around them and that spending time with them helps you to accept yourself. That is a much greater compliment than telling someone who they must be.

[cosmoss-express]

Astro Observations (part 6)

!DO NOT COPY, CHANGE, REPOST without permission, otherwise I'll show up as your sleep paralysis demon!

🌑 Sun square ASC are overly confident and cocky. These natives usually have been through difficult moments in terms of who they are as a person. Accepting themselves for who they are was the best way to deal with this placement

Women with this placement might be treated with hostility by men a lot

📞 Natives with 2 or more T-Square formations in their chart tend to accumulate a lot of tension in their body than those with more harmonious formations

🌑 Mercury square Saturn in synastry speak in patronising ways to each other. This is a "student becomes better than his master" aspect

📞 Libra Moons are usually well liked wherever they go, even if they're not so good when it comes to socialising (they could be extremely awkward and people would still find that endearing, like it's part of their charm)

🌑 Aquarius Moons are either the most compassionate and selfless people you've ever met, or they're straight up the most calculated masterminds. No in-between

📞 Mars square ASC tend to have sculpted faces, defined jawlines, prominent or hollow cheekbones, usually model-like features (especially is Mars placed in an earth sign)

🌑 Pluto in the 10th folks are HOT AF 🥵🥵. They're so SO freaking mesmerising, these natives could hypnotise you easily and their gaze is super intimidating 

📞 10th house lord in the 1st house indicates that your career choice has to be in alignment with your personality. You will work much better in a place that allows you to be yourself and that lets you put your ambitious to good use

🌑 Virgo Risings have such gorgeous hair 😍😍 Their hair always looks fluffy and it usually looks better in lighter colours

📞 Virgo MC in earth degrees are much harder on themselves and can have the tendency to never be satisfied with their work. These natives also tend to base their worth on how close to perfection they can get because they tend to feel the dread of failure very strongly

🌑 Cancer Risings have been conditioned to grow up much faster than their peers in order to be taken seriously. That's why they always feel the need to be the bigger, calmer, more serious person, aka the Capricorn DSC they project in connection to others

📞 Aries placements always pour their heart out no matter what they do; they approach things with such innocence and enthusiasm, it's almost endearing :'((

🌑 Cancer MC (or at 4°, 16°, 28°) can make people empathise with their agenda and their whole persona as a whole no matter what they do (these natives tend to thrive when doing things that make others feel welcomed and accepted) . The general public tends to feel intense attachment towards these individuals

📞 I've seen people talk about it and I'll confirm it:

3rd house synastry is so underrated but it's so important. Sun, Mercury or Venus in someone's 3rd house makes you think the same and have the same sense of humour. You guys will mirror each other and will stimulate eachother to be curious and mentally active (which is definitely needed in any type of connection)

🌑 Leo men always get slandered on TikTok and I'll give my two cents on this topic. Half of the Leo men I've met are undeveloped and don't even realise it (the other half have been really sweet and caring). Because their toxic traits are what they get praised for by other men. Other men wish to be what Leo men project out into the world, because that's what The Patriarchy ™️ expects of men

📞 Having Sun conjunct Ceres can soften the typical masculine traits of the Sun and give you this comforting and warm presence

🌑 Having prominent 5th house can indicate that you crush on people often and these people can still be friends with you once the infatuation fades. Whereas having a prominent 7th house means that you'll eventually come to hate the people you had a crush on and wonder why you liked them in the first place

📞 You might enter in contact with many people who have their North Node in the sign that's most prominent in your chart. You might even change the destiny of these people

Like, think about it, you can literally BE the turning point for someone with this type of NN, and that's so wild to me

🌑 Uranus in 7th house individuals always have someone that believes in them and supports their vision. These people also might trigger an Aquarius MC effect, where they can gather support from the crowd like it happens with Aquarius MC natives

📞 Libra Risings with Mars in the 1st house could always worry about the "imperfections" on their face a lot (like asymmetry, scars, pimples, moles etc). Because Mars rules asymmetry, scars, battle wounds, inflammations

🌑 Taurus not only rules the throat/neck but also the chin. Taurus risings tend to have defined chins resulting in a diamond-shaped face

📞 People with dominant Air element in their chart tend to be early birds while Water dominants tend to be night owls or sleep a lot

🌑 5th house Pluto can be incredibly suspicious during the talking stage with someone

📞 2nd house Venus might enter enemies-to-lovers relationships and have a push and pull dynamic with their first partners unless there's an interception in their chart

🌑 Scorpio men 🤝 bullying their crush to get their attention

📞 Wherever Sagittarius is placed in your chart, it's likely you'll be doing too much of it until you burn out (1st house - exercising too much; 2nd house - overindulging, 6th house overworking, etc)

🌑 Fights between Fixed dominants are BRUTAL (I'm Leo dominant, my parents are Aquarius and Scorpio dominant, and two of my colleagues were Taurus dominant, and let 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 tell 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 we're DRAMATIC AF)

📞 Jupiter aspecting the 8th house lord could have extensive knowledge on the occult or illegal stuff no one knows about. These natives tend to have a more mysterious and distant aura to them

🌑 8th house South Node natives: knowing about taboo and "forbidden" subjects is already second nature to them and they might even think it's normal until people tell them that it's actually not common for people to be interested in those topics

These natives might go on a tangent about a study on sexual kinks or what is the perfect method to rob a bank and someone could ask them "umm how do you know that? 😅"

©️ Cosmoss-express (2022)

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #mercury square saturn #libra moon #aquarius moon #mars square ascendant #pluto in 10th house #10th house ruler #virgo rising #virgo mc #cancer rising #aries #sun square ascendant #cancer mc #cancer degrees #3rd house synastry #leo #sun conjunct ceres #5th house #7th house #north node #uranus in 7th house #libra rising #taurus #pluto in the 5th #scorpio #south node

[ghostphobic]

╼ you’re in love

abby anderson x reader

cw - fluff , mutual pining , angst if you squint , slight infidelity 

a/n - goddddd it’s been ages since i’ve written any fic, but i was up at like 2 am last night listening to music on spotify and got hit with inspiration. it’s short and sweet, but it’s the first thing i’ve written in, im not even sure how long, that i dont absolutely hate. so enjoy !

Abby Anderson was your sure thing in a world where nothing was ever certain. She was something solid and steady; an anchor in the middle of a violent ocean. You were the same thing to her. You were her best friend and she was yours, and you were sure without her you'd be lost. 

Which is why you had decided to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when you see her. It's why you had decided to ignore the tightness in your chest when you see her with Owen. You wouldn't ruin your friendship with her over feelings you weren't even sure you understood. You wouldn't ruin her relationship with Owen either, because at the end of the day Owen made her happy. Her happiness always came before yours, you made sure of that. 

But you were grateful for the little moments when it was just the two of you. Rare nights when neither of you had anywhere to be, and the two of you could just enjoy each other's company before you went to sleep.

Tonight is one of those nights. 

Abby sits on the floor in front of your bed, a book in her lap, while you gently brush through the wet strands of her hair. She hasn't turned the pages in a few minutes and you're sure her eyes are probably closed. 

"Abs?" You say softly. "Come on let's get some sleep." 

She responds with a hum, closing her book and sitting it on the ground beside her so she can crawl into the bed beside you. There's a long, comfortable, stretch of silence once she settles in. Then, "Have you ever been in love?" 

Your heart speeds up at her question, not knowing how to answer. You clear your throat before you speak, knowing that it would crack otherwise. "Where did that come from?" 

She shrugs, "I'm just curious I guess." 

It's not just curiosity. She'd seen you earlier when you were in line grabbing dinner for the two of you, laughing at something the man behind you had said. It was clear he was flirting, and to her it seemed like you enjoyed it. The sight making her so sick she had to turn away. The same way she had felt sick and looked away any time you showed romantic interest to any person in the several long years you'd known her. She chalked it up to friendly jealousy. You were just important to her, and she didn't want to share you. That's all it was. Right? It didn't matter that Owen talking to girls had never made her feel that way. You were just... different. 

You look away from her, deciding that the loose thread on your blanket is much more interesting than her face. "I don't think so. I don't know. I guess I don't really know what loving someone like that would feel like." 

It's a lie. You know it's a lie. You're pretty sure the way you feel about Abby is love. Sure, you love her as your best friend. But it goes beyond friendly love. The way you feel about her is something you're not even sure you could put into words. You just feel it. You just know, as much as you wish you didn't. 

"What do you think it feels like?" 

You shrug, "I think it depends. If you're talking about being in love, I guess I believe everyone would define it differently. To me I think it's... a warm feeling. It feels like sunlight. It feels like butterflies in your stomach. It claws at your chest. It's euphoric but terrifying. It's terrifying because one singular person holds your heart in their hands. I think it's a feeling that people would kill for. A feeling people would die for." 

There's a another stretch of silence until you will yourself to look up at her. The expression on her face is unreadable, and you think you've made her uncomfortable. 

You haven't. Not in the slightest. You don't notice the way her breathing has sped up, or the way her face is flushed. You aren't aware that what you just said has terrified her. Terrified her because she doesn't feel that way about Owen. 

She feels that way about you.

"Abby?" You say, your voice just a whisper.

Her brows furrow and you think she's mad, but then she places a hand on your cheek and leans down to press her lips to yours. 

It shocks you at first, but then you're kissing her back. It's gentle and slow and it makes your heart pound against your chest in a way that you're sure can't be healthy. In this moment you've never been more sure that you're in love with her. She's never been more sure that she's in love with you. 

She pulls back just enough to press her forehead to yours. "That's exactly what it feels like." 

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson / reader #abby tlou #abby anderson ff #abby anderson tlou #tlou 2 #the last of us #the last of us 2 #abby the last of us #abby tlou2

[prince-liest]

Hi! About your staticradio series (which is PHENOMENAL omg😍) - I know you said Vox is kinda falling in love while Al will remain aro. Which is awesome, we love to see rep! But I'm wondering if they will end up as QPPs (who fuck, lol)? Or it'll strictly be FWBs? Gah it's diffifult to describe it bc labels are so subjective and often too limiting, but I guess what I'm asking is whether they'll have an emotional relationship too, however it might look with their orientations? Will Al in particular have any soft feels for Vox & be fond of their unique bond? Even if Vox is in love with him when Al himself isn't? (I worry that would scare Al away😭) An intimate emotional closeness regardless of the specifics?

Thank you so much!! I've been enjoying writing it enormously so it always brings me a lot of joy that other folks are, too. >:D Just a heads up, this post has turned a little long because it got me talking about Alastor and the way he handles his feelings vs his ego in general.

First: I think the answer to this depends fully on how you personally define a queerplatonic partnership! I don't think Alastor would ever go for, like, a committed relationship with Vox in any form, but I also don't think that this would necessarily be a sad state of affairs for Vox, who I obviously write as poly as fuck with his toxic yaoi husband. Maybe it's because I'm aro af, but I feel like from Vox's end, "Yeah, I get to fuck around with the guy I'm obsessed with and he's not, like, nice, but I think I Stockholmed him into giving a shit about me!" is not actually a state of affairs he'd dislike! Especially since it's got that shiny "I'm special!" vibe in the sense that Nobody Else Gets To Get This Far With Alastor.

As for Alastor's side of things...

I think that so much of their dynamic dynamic isn't just set by Alastor being aroace, it's also set by him being a fucking sadist and a narcissist, HAHA. Like, he is very much in the middle of developing feelings about Vox, which (if my favorite interpretation of his little breakdown in the finale is correct) is also where his character arc is heading with regards to the hotel crew in canon, too, but his friendship-and-trust arc is slowburn as all hell and not entirely linear.

Part of the fun in writing Alastor is the process of qualifying all of his feelings with his sense of superiority in a way that is protective of his ego. He is freely and openly fond of people when that fondness doesn't expose any kind of emotional vulnerability in him. For example: He feels a condescending but genuine fondness for Niffty and Mimzy, whom he protects, and that's safe! He's quirky friends with Rosy, who is a benevolent semi-equal who uplifts his ego, and that's safe! He... may or may not have started caring enough about the hotel crew to have put himself at risk for them, and that is not only dangerous to his physical well-being but also massively humiliating, which is arguably worse to someone like Alastor.

He has SO many ego-prioritizing defense mechanisms and it's fun for me to pay attention to because I, too, am someone whose cardinal sin is probably pride. Anything is permissible only as long as it can be framed in a way that doesn't insult his ego.

Anyway, the point is: I don't think "soft feels and fondness for their unique bond" is on the list of ways that Alastor is able to find himself feeling about someone like Vox. The whole reason their whole situation in 666: Live on Air! started is thanks to Alastor's awareness and amusement at how obsessed Vox is with him. He sees himself as above Vox, and knowing that Vox is more emotionally invested than he is is part of the appeal. It's just gone from (derogatory) to (fond). (Which is, guess what? Safe!)

(It also means realizing that Vox is falling madly in love or whatever just nets a reaction somewhere in the region of, "Wait, is that significantly different from what you were already doing?", lol, because the only thing that's changed is the flavor of feeling, not the level of exposed emotional underbelly that he thinks Vox is showing him.)

TL;DR: He likes Vox like a cat likes a favorite mouse.

#ask #personal #Anonymous #my writing #radiostatic #staticradio #long post #meta #alastor #hazbin hotel #this is one of those things that I have trouble putting to words in meta-essay format rather than #“look just. here's a fic. it's like this. you get it??” format #so I'm not sure I did my thoughts justice but hopefully I got close #at any rate. THERE ARE INDEED FICS. IT'S LIKE THAT. >:))) #666 live on air

[bloggingboutburgers]

Reading your blog, I'm starting to see my relationship with my bf differently (we've been together for over a decade). Like, I've been questioning my romantic orientation for some time, suspecting I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. But I realise I don't really have a clear image of what romance actually is and if it's something I have in my relationship. Like, he's my best friend. But what makes it different that a very close friendship? Apart, you know, the fact we live together and see each other every day. I'm also asexual so we don't really have sex, but for the very rare time I feel like doing something for him, but it's not really something we do, though I know sex and romance are to different things, straight people tend to say that the difference between friendship and dating is sex. I've heard allos saying "if I don't have sex with my s/o, what are we? Friends?" Anyway, I'm just more and more confused by what those criterias are for defining what is and what is not a romantic relationship. Love? I mean, love can have so many forms, how am I to regognise which one I feel? I just care about my bf. I like spending time together. We help each other on a daily basis. And when one of us need alone time we give as much time as the other needs. We do our things each in our corners and meet in the middle when we want company. We're happy this way. And that's great! I just can't comprehend what this all means. Sometimes I'm confused about the feelings I get for other people. Am I attracted to them or do I just want to smother them with my intense friendship? Which is hard. I sometimes feel like I love my friend to hard and I shy away during our interactions for fear to overwhelm them with my love. What's the difference between the two? Between my relationship with my bf and the friendship with those people I have to keep away sometime for fear to be "too much"? I'm sorry for these ramblings. You probably don't have the answers to this, but I needed to tell all this to someone that might understand at least some of it. I love your blog btw.

Sorry I'm replying so late – but thank you so much for all of this input, it's actually so interesting to hear your take on your own experience.

You're right, I don't have the answers, because every experience is very personal and I don't wanna project onto others, but there's a lot of points I actually relate to very much – like, I don't have a clear idea of what romance even is either, I just feel in my gut that it's not what I have with my queerplatonic partner. I guess in my own case I've also always had a bit of trouble with the idea of a "best friend" (like, I HAVE entertained the idea that this or that person might be my "best friend" at some points in my life, but I always end up coming back to the thought that I don't feel OK putting one person above others in my head – I work more in tiers made out of several people at once).

I might also be overthinking things but I often hear in the long-term-relationship discourse that romantic partnerships often wind up turning into friendship over time and that's OK – no idea how that works but it's interesting to think about, and I wonder if there's any truth to that on an aromantic spectrum basis? Like maybe... If both of us are on the aromantic spectrum, then maybe we just didn't get the "romantic high" part because we don't feel romantic attraction or feel it less than most people, and we're straight to that "friendship" part people talk about? ...Either way, what you describe with your bf sounds like a vibe, a healthy vibe to me. Sounds like you guys have it figured out and I wish you the best, honestly.

Also lol it really IS a useful and sobering reminder that to most allo people, the "sex = romance" idea is probably very prevalent still... Makes it even harder to figure ourselves out

Either way sorry for rambling and thank you SO MUCH for sharing your self-reflection, honestly, whatever conclusion you come to I hope life is good for you^^

#mx loar tev #aromantic spectrum #aromantic awareness week #aro #aromantic

[joannechocolat]

On media storms, and transphobes, and free speech, and the establishment.

(Dated 22nd August, 2022.)

Unless you were asleep last week, you’ll have noticed I made the news. I made the news a lot. The Daily Mail (twice); the Times (twice); the Telegraph; the Observer, plus radio and any number of online and international outlets, including UnHerd, where stories go to die.

The story has taken many forms. That J.K. Rowling feels “betrayed” by my “lack of support” for her: that my views on trans rights makes me ineligible for any public role; that people are calling for my removal from the Board of the SOA; that I’m a monster because I replied to a post from a satirical Twitter account with - shock, horror - a smiley.

I haven’t talked to anyone in the Press, in spite of many journalists asking, so this “story”, was taken from Twitter, where stories evolve at such a rapid rate that by the time they make the broadsheets, no-one really knows what shape the story started out at all.

But this is what it has become. I’ve been repeatedly (and wrongly) accused of a number of things, which when you unpick them, boil down to one thing. That as Chair of the Society of Authors (the authors’ trade union), I’ve abused my position to discriminate against people who don’t agree with my support of the trans community.

Full disclosure: this isn’t new. Ever since I was elected Chair in 2019, I’ve been getting increasing amounts of abuse, pressure and demands for “debate” from people with gender-critical views. Some of them are colleagues; some women I once considered friends. Some of these women now have become single-agenda tweeters, railing night and day online about what defines a woman, and spreading misinformation and fear about the trans community. Many of these women claim to be afraid, and to have suffered cancellation for their views. Some of them feel that as Chair of the SOA, I should have taken their side in Twitter debates, signed petitions, joined hashtags to validate their beliefs.

But here’s the thing. The SOA represents everyone. It has over 12,000 members. It needs to stay neutral to represent all its members equally. And it has a strict policy of non-intervention in Twitter debates between members, even when they get nasty, because Twitter can be a nasty place, and the SOA can’t be everywhere. That’s why I tweet in my personal capacity unless I specify otherwise. 

The gender critical lobby has had real difficulty understanding this. Over the past two years, I’ve been under increasing pressure to “speak out” about individual cases (I can’t); ally myself with transphobes (I won’t) and “denounce” death threats to J.K. Rowling (which I do, but apparently not often enough.) Over the past two years I’ve received countless abusive tweets, urging me to kill myself, or resign from the SOA, or hoping that I would die of cancer, all from the gender-critical lobby.

The latest eruption began last week, with the stabbing of Salman Rushdie, a man whose life has been under threat since most of us can remember. Last Friday, an Islamist fanatic managed to get close enough to stab him, leaving him with terrible injuries. The literary world was shaken. Friends of Rushdie’s spoke out in horror. But those of us who only knew him for his books were also deeply shaken and upset. Because this wasn’t just a violent attack on an author, horrific though that may be. It was an attack on free speech, a principle all creators hold dear.

Free speech is a term that has been misused a lot recently, especially by people wanting their say, but denying it to others. In fact, free speech is like oxygen: you can’t remove it from someone else without also losing it yourself, which means that, if you believe in free speech, you can’t then go around deciding who deserves it and who doesn’t. Rushdie is a great writer. But even if the victim of the stabbing had been a minor writer, a bad writer, or a writer with problematic opinions, the same attack on free speech would have happened, threatening writers everywhere. The principle of free speech matters. And it matters to all of us.

I wrote about this a bit on Twitter, where many authors were still upset, struggling how best to respond to the horrific attack. Twitter being Twitter, there were also a number of angry Islamist accounts, crowing about the Rushdie attack and targeting anyone who expressed sympathy. Some were abusive, some even threatening. Several people I follow were sent messages on the lines of: Shut up or we’ll come for you next. I got one myself. So did J.K. Rowling. But on Twitter, size matters. What J.K. Rowling, with her 14 million followers, says is instant news. So when J.K. Rowling announced that she’d had a death threat from an Islamist account saying: You’re next, her name trended for two days, and Rushdie’s all-too-real attack was overshadowed by a Twitter threat.

Now, it isn’t up to me to decide whether the death threat was credible, or whether J.K. Rowling should be afraid. I don’t know how many threats she’s received, or how many she thinks are credible. Having had them myself, I know they can be upsetting and frightening. But a threat on Twitter is not the same as being stabbed in the eye, and I didn’t see the need to comment.

 Instead I put up a poll, asking fellow-authors if they’d ever received a death threat. I wanted to use it as a way of talking about author safety. As it happened, Chuck Wendig had been posting about his latest death threat the day before Salman Rushdie was stabbed (a weirdly specific death threat, in which his correspondent expressed the hope that Chuck would be, er - raped to death by a dolphin), and the tone of my first poll reflected the jokey nature of our interchange. In the light of the Rushdie stabbing, though, I realized that wasn’t appropriate. I deleted the poll almost at once and started again with a more neutral wording, but the folk on Twitter who watch me for any ammunition they can use had already screencapped it and passed it around. It made the papers, variously as: Harris  Mocks Rushdie or Harris Mocks Rowling, but I was doing neither.  Death threats – to anyone, including J.K. Rowling – are absolutely wrong. They’re also a crime. Crimes are for the police to sort out. Free speech, however, is a legitimate principle for a union to uphold.

But free speech isn’t always the speech that you agree with. Free speech can be confrontational. It can be unfair. It can even be upsetting. I’ve upset a lot of gender-critical people with my own use of free speech; my refusal to join their hashtags, sign their petitions, enter their debates. That doesn’t mean to say I don’t believe in theirs, or that I wouldn’t fight for their rights as fiercely as for anyone else. But that has never been enough for the people who want me gone.  

Since last week, the wave of people demanding my resignation – or just my removal – from the SOA has grown. Many of those who have joined the “debate” are not members. Many are not even authors. Nearly all are transphobes, though. Because that’s what all this is about. Not all gender critical people may be transphobes, but all transphobes are gender critical. Graham Linehan has been posting about me since 2020, calling for me to be dismissed. He doesn’t know what the SOA does. He doesn’t care. He’s just one of many prominent transphobes who believe that someone who believes in the rights of trans folk doesn’t deserve a voice of their own.

I have a trans son. He came out very recently, and I haven’t discussed it online. Last week, I discovered that some of my principal detractors had found out about this. After talking to my son, and with his permission, I went public. I love my son more than words can say, and I didn’t want anyone to think that I was ashamed of him. Kathleen Stock, among others, gloated that this was proof of my bias. She (rather chillingly) denounced me for having “undeclared trans-identified offspring,” and claimed that this was the “real” reason for my support of trans folk. Kathleen Stock finds it hard to believe that someone might uphold a principle without having a personal interest. Actually, I’ve been a supporter of trans rights for much longer than this. Like I said, I believe in supporting the rights of all marginalized groups.

So, just what are they saying now? That I’m jealous of JKR? I’m not. I love my life, and I love my son, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. That because of my pro-trans beliefs, I should be cancelled or lose my job? That would be ironic, wouldn’t it, coming from people who are claiming to have been cancelled for their gender-critical beliefs. And full disclosure; it isn’t a job. It’s an elected position, as part of a Board of twelve people. It’s voluntary, time-consuming, often thankless, and unpaid, and I do it because I care about authors’ rights. All authors’ rights; whether they’re famous of not; whether I agree with their politics or not.

But this assault isn’t going to stop. Given how many people pretend to be “fearful of speaking out”, they’re certainly doing a hell of a lot of it. I’ve had open attacks this week from a certain sector of the author community – all London-based, all cis, all white, all influential people (many of them men) with lots of friends in the right-wing media – saying that they are coming for me. One person compared it to the March of the Ents, going after Saruman. The literary establishment, is seems is desperately afraid of progress.

Here’s the thing, though. I’m stubborn. I’ve never fitted into the London literary scene, so the fact that it now feels the need to mobilize against me means very little to me. This week, I’ve had death threats, attacks in the media, and countless abusive messages. I don’t care. I’m not afraid. I was elected to this role to help protect authors’ rights. That means yours, whoever you are, and those of all other authors. If you’re a member of the SOA, then we have elections yearly. You too can stand for the Board, and be elected, and add your views to the diversity of views already expressed there. Till then, I’ll do what I’ve always done. Raise awareness of authors’ rights. 

They grow us tough in Yorkshire.

[codywanweek]

How to write aro/ace codywan for the non-aspec

Want to write something for the aro/ace codywan prompt but you're not sure how or you're afraid you'll offend someone? Here's a hopefully useful post to help you out.

Disclaimer:

I, Yellow, am only one aromantic* person and opinions may differ. This post is to be taken as suggestions for possible configurations of codywan being aro- and/or ace-spec. At the end I'll mention some pitfalls to avoid. *formerly used the label ace for 1+ year, so is fairly familiar with pitfalls for acespec characters as well, but again ymmv.

These suggestions are focused on aro/ace people in relationships. The reason for this is that this is still a ship week, but obviously there are also aro/ace people that are not interested in partnering at all.

Suggestions and pitfalls under the cut! If you, an aro/ace-spec person, have suggestions as well, feel free to reblog them on this post, or to DM/send an ask and I'll add them!

Suggestions:

Note: a QPR = queerplatonic relationship is a relationship type that "queers the platonic". There is no defined list of things that need to or shouldn't occur for a relationship to be queerplatonic. In general you could think of it as being platonic lifepartners, but it's not strange for a QPR to be sexual or even romantic as well.

These suggestions are formatted as: Codywan's specific identities and then a (fluffy) idea for their relationship. There are infinitely many options for how relationships work, and you can definitely mix and match between these "flavors". Angst is a bit more difficult to write, but you could look at the pitfalls and use those to go for a self-doubt/acceptance route.

Flavor: Any. You're more than welcome to write a platonic relationship as well!

Flavor: Codywan are both aromantic and asexual and have no interest in romance or sex: QPR Idea: They have such a close bond as commander and general that they feel like they are integral parts of each others lives and continue on like this after the war.

Flavor: They are not aromantic and one or both of them are asexual: romantic relationship/QPR Idea 1; they don't have sex: "basically" write a romantic relationship without sex. Maybe you can write the conversation they have about their expectations in the relationship. Idea 2; they do have sex: ace people can have sex if they want to, maybe they like the closeness of it or that it feels good, but they may not feel a need for having sex.

Flavor: They are not asexual and one or both of them are aromantic: sexual relationship/QPR Option 1; no romance: Maybe they are friends with benefits and do not consider themselves in a committed relationship. Or maybe they are in a QPR and also enjoy having sex together. Option 2; romance: Maybe they are in a romantic relationship and the aro character enjoys the "romantic" aspects just because they are pleasant to do/experience, but they may not feel a need to do these things with their partner. Here are some ideas from another aro person!

Flavor: One or both of them are demiro and/or demi-ace: anything Demi = you only feel romantic or sexual attraction to people you are already close to (does not mean you feel the attraction to everyone you're close to). Idea: Maybe codywan reaches a certain point in the war where they fully trust each other and have gotten close on a personal level and they get an "oh" moment where they suddenly realize they're attracted to the other.

Flavor: One or both of them are grayro and/or gray-ace: anything Gray- = you only feel romantic or sexual attraction very rarely or weakly (below the "average" for allo people to the point that you relate to aro/ace identities) Here you can have the fun "wait this is what you people have been talking about??" when someone has their first crush ever, but in general you can assume suddenly feeling attraction like that is very unexpected and maybe they find it very impractical to be happening right then.

Flavor: Anything! I am not a spokesperson for the whole aspec community and you're more than welcome to do your own research about identities and relationships.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pitfalls:

CW for implied ace/arophobia.

Note that these things can be explored when dealing with self-doubt and self-acceptance, but please do not present the things stated below as facts.

When writing aro/ace codywan getting together: do not imply that something has been "fixed" about them.

Do not imply that being a virgin is bad.

When questioned about being aro-/ace-spec, do not make statements such as "but I can still love!!" as this throws people that don't love/are distanced from love under the bus. [see Lovelessness. Originally from the aro community, but valid to use when you're not aro as well]

In that same vein: "love is what makes us human" (or sentient in star wars I suppose) is a no.

Another in that same vein: "But I can still X" statements in general get icky very quickly, as it feels like you need to make up for a lack of something.

Don't portray an ace character as "innocent" or "childish" due to their aceness. Don't portray them as not knowing anything about sex by default unless you have good (relevant) in-story reasons for it. (e.g. Cody doesn't know anything about sex because the clones had no sex-ed and he wasn't interested in learning anyway, or Cody/Obi-Wan knows the anatomical basics but nothing further because they were Not interested.)

Addition by @data-plays-viola: Don't portray ace characters as sex negative by default, unless you have good (relevant) in-story reasons for it. Sex negative asexual people exist but the two are not connected (though some may use their asexuality as an excuse, unfortunately.)

If you write an ace character that has sex, do not imply that this is a redeeming quality. Same for an aromantic character that does romantic things.

Note that not all ace people are sex repulsed and not all aro people are romance repulsed, they may also be indifferent or favourable to the idea. (X repulsed is usually being repulsed by the idea of participating in X, though for some it means being repulsed by X in general.) Do not imply that being sex/romance repulsed is the standard for aspec people.

Note 2: some aspec people see a clear event in their past that had an effect on their sexual and romantic orientations (such as trauma), but for most people being aspec is just as random as e.g. being gay or being trans. Do not attach a reason to a character being aro and/or ace without doing your research into people that feel like that.

#codywanweek #codywan week 2024 #aro/ace codywan #writing aro characters #writing ace characters #writing aspec characters

[viviennevermillion]

With an asexual s/o

notes: just some self-indulgent headcanons. i don't think this is going to get a lot of notes but the ace community deserves more content.

contains: character x gn!reader, qpr in alhaithams part, the plot twist here is that the characters in question are also on the ace-spectrum

characters included: alhaitham, diluc, pantalone

warnings: mentions of sex in the context of being asexual, hints at harassment and a bit of violence in pantalone's part (not towards the reader)

aphobes, dc creators and consumers dni

Alhaitham

Let's be real here, Alhaitham as a kid took one look at romance and sexual relations and decided that he'd have a better time with a good book and a research trip to the desert. "You'll change your mind when you get older", they said to him. And then he didn't. And everytime someone brings that up he's kinda smug about it, in a told you so kinda way. Alhaitham always knew what he wanted and didn't want and people thinking they knew better was a hassle for him he'd rather not bother with.

Alhaitham is aware of the term asexual and that he falls under it by definition but he doesn't really care for putting labels on himself as he sees no necessity to find ways to explain and define himself to people. The only time he actively labels himself as asexual is when you come out to him to make things easier for you.

Alhaitham would be considered quoiromantic; he's not sure if what he feels is romantic attraction but the concept of romantic attraction also doesn't have much significance to him.

You don't get together with Alhaitham by asking him out and going on dates with him. Your bond just kinda happens. You spend a significant amount of time in each other's presence and Alhaitham finds that he quite enjoys your company. As you become closer, he notices he looks forward to talking to you everyday; to even engage in some playful banter with you. He can talk to you about all sorts of topics and your relationship just has this feel of mutual comfort to it. You can just idly sit next to each other and exchange a couple of words and somehow people can always tell you two are close. He's clearly looking out for you and you're very considerate of his habits and preferences. You're always each other's first choice for anything, whether it's spending your freetime together, seeking advice or working on something together. Alhaitham seems more at peace and happier when he's with you and so do you.

Several people had asked you whether you two were dating or just friends and feeling unsure of where you stood with him, you decided to talk to him about it. "And why would we need to put a label on it, hmm?", he asks and wraps an arm around you affectionately, "so people can put us into categories to ease their own confusion because they struggle to clearly define our bond?"

Alhaitham thought you might have romantic feelings for him and he was half-prepared for holding you a lecture on alterous attraction and how he doesn't experience attraction and relationships the same way most people do. When you come out to him as asexual he's like "god you're making this so much easier for me."

Alhaitham reassures you that he cares deeply about you and he'd like to keep you close to him as you already were. From that moment on, Alhaitham calls you his partner and you call him that too. What that entails? No one's business.

Alhaitham doesn't often initiate physical affection but he does a lot of idle motions like putting an arm around you when you sit down next to him or leaning his head against your shoulder when he's laying next to you and reading his book. He doesn't mind if you want to kiss or cuddle though.

It's clear as day to anyone who knows you that you two love each other even if they can't exactly define what you have as either friendship or romance.

Diluc

Lisa was the one person who started off teasing Diluc a little about having so many admirers and asking him "aren't you interested in any of them?" but she also was the first to notice Diluc was probably ace before Diluc himself even noticed he worked differently than most people around him.

But oh Diluc noticed, even if he didn't have a label to put on it before he met you. He always felt a little uneasy when the topic came up because he just knew it'd result in people asking questions and him not having an answer nor particularly wanting to answer them.

By the time he met you Diluc had become quite the expert in turning people down but the more time he spent with you, the more he noticed that he didn't want to turn you down. And that this time would probably result in you turning him down. Oh how wrong he was.

He could tell you liked him as time went on but he was hesitant about taking the next step because he feared you might, by convention, expect things from him he couldn't give you. And you felt the same way. So the two of you grew gradually closer, even flirting with each other on rare occasion, all while actively dancing around the confrontation because neither of you had an idea how to address the subject

You're the one who eventually tells him how you feel and comes out to him. Diluc asks a couple of questions and listens attentively as you explain asexuality to him. Then goes: "Oh, so there is a word for it.."

You felt really relieved to hear that Diluc felt the same as you did and that you helped him make sense of his experiences. He confessed to you that for a while he was worried that there might just be something wrong with him and that he's happy that's not the case and that he gets to be with you, someone who understands him and can relate.

He has a long conversation with you about your shared experiences because this is the first time he could talk with someone else about this without being at least partially dismissed. He also talks about your boundaries with you and his as well to make sure neither of you makes the other uncomfortable with something.

After the talk Diluc feels a little exhausted because even though it was relieving and enlightening, it was also stressful and made him feel a little anxious, given that you were talking about something he mostly kept to himself up to this point.

He asks if he can kiss you and if you say yes, he leans over and kisses you softly, letting you bury your fingers in his hair. His kiss is hesitant at first but he gets more passionate with time, smiling into the kiss when he notices this is actually happening. That you accept him the way he is and love him and are kissing him.

He lets you stay with him for the night, holding you protectively against his chest.

Pantalone

Painfully aware of the fact that he's on the ace-spectrum because the rich people he scams for his plans tend to get really good at oversharing about their sexual preferences after enough wine at the banquets. The alcohol is a double-edged sword because it sometimes works in his favor since he can find out people's weak points but it's also an easy spiral into "too much information, didn't need to know this"

Several of his business partners have tried to pressure him to join them in their endeavors because they "know a club in some fairly unknown alley" or have encouraged him to "hit someone up", which he always refused. Which is what bred the joke in those circles that the only thing that man is attracted to is cold hard cash.

He had many people who tried to make advances towards him, some because they were after his money and some because he was conventionally attractive. Quite a few entitled nobles had a tendency to mistake his mischievous and suave demeanor as him being flirty when really he was just scheming how to bleed them dry of all the money they have 💀

Some of them just wouldn't take "no thank you I'm not interested" as an answer, insisting they could change that. Most of them he just shooed away. Two or three ended up with some broken bones because they took it a step too far.

Pantalone has seen some shit and been through a lot and he hasn't been given physical affection in over a literal decade so he's actually fairly hesitant and receiving affection from you and he needs to warm up a bit to the idea of being kissed and held.

When you tell him you're asexual he's like "oh thank god, me too."

He always asks before he initiates any new physical contact or kisses you in a place he hasn't before to make sure to not overstep any of your boundaries. After all, he's receiving the patience from you he craved but most people wouldn't have given him.

He's pretty sex-repulsed because he spent too much time around the worst kind of people for the sake of harbinger business.

He's clingy and extremely gentle with you in private and will love you with all his heart but if anyone dares to give you shit over your asexuality or bothers you they'll receive the iciest death glare that banker is capable of. The one more step and you're a dead man kinda expression.

He'll smile and go "My, my, it sounds like you had quite the exciting day, my friend" at some rich, slightly intoxicated merchant making small talk with him at a gathering and telling Pantalone about all his pursuits of women and his affairs in detail but the second that person is out of sight, Pantalone's face falls and he looks at you with an "I'm done" expression. "I don't want to be here", he says dryly and you suggest to get another mousse au chocolat from the buffet and share it with him. "Yeah, let's", he takes your hand and glances at the guy who talked to him just now, "once I have his cash I'll buy you something nice from it." "Not this again, Pantalone." He gently kisses your lips. "See it as compensation for the emotional damage this conversation gave us."

Over the course of your relationship Pantalone finds out he's actually demisexual but that doesn't change anything between the two of you either. He adapts to you with ease, no matter what your boundaries are.

author's note: tagging @k-zu because he wanted to be tagged! ✨

#alhaitham x reader #pantalone x reader #diluc x reader #al haitham x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin impact #pantalone headcanons #pantalone x you #diluc x you #alhaitham x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons

[sevenrs]

been seeing interest crop up for a plural interpretation of grey wind/chasing wind, or making plural iterator ocs. this is great! as a system myself, i would like to offer some guiding questions and tips to non-systems to help out in their endeavors. please remember that i am one system and plurality varies VERY HEAVILY among people. other systems are free to comment and add their own tips. just dont turn this post into syscourse

i will use gw/cw as the most prevalent examples but this applies to any oc as well!

- alters are their own people in a lot of cases, not just "personalities". ask yourself, how does gw differ from cw? when presented with the same situation, how do each of them react? do they agree with each other or not? either way, what are their reasons?

- systems are rarely comprised of just two alters. it is not impossible, but very rare. most people notice plural symptoms at around 3 alters and people will on average have between 8-15 alters (but more is very much not unheard of!). think about how many alters gw/cw would have on top of each other

- alters may have different pronouns, sexuality, and ways they want to present themselves from each other. how do gw/cw and other alters differ from each other in this way, if at all?

- if gw/cw's physical body changes to represent who is fronting, was this an ability they had before realizing their plurality? in our world, we cannot change how we look outside of clothes and makeup. if gw/cw do not possess the ability to change physically, do either of them or any other alter feel uncomfortable or even dysphoric looking at their physical body?

- alters' relationships may vary heavily on the same person. how do gw/cw feel about a specific person? how are they the same or different? is one alter in a whole different kind of relationship with someone than another?

- how comfortable is gw/cw with telling others about their plurality? do only they know? their close friends? local group? anyone they come across? plurality is often personal, and is not a singular decision for any one alter in a system to make to tell others. it can be difficult for non-systems to understand what plurality is like (and in our world, cause mockery) so they may think it is easier to stay quiet about it

- plurality happens because of several different conditions. there is did, but there are also ospd-1a and 1b. i would highly recommend doing your own research on these different types of plurality. they each have different effects on memories, emotional state, even how defined the alters themselves. again, look into it

- if gw/cw have memory problems, do they have a way to get around it? private broadcasts? pearls? scratching on the walls? how do they talk to alters not co-concious with them?

- some systems may use role labels to identify themselves as having particular jobs to help/protect the system. these are roles such as host, caretaker, guardian, traumaholder, etc. do your research on this one. do any of these roles apply? or do gw/cw forgo these labels? (personally, we only use the term "host")

- headspace is a place in the mind where alters "live" (it's not a real residence, but it feels that way) headspace may be small, only representing co-conciousness, or very large, giving every alter a more "tangible" place to stay if not fronting. or headspace might not exist at all! (this is most common in systems who just found out about their plurality). what does headspace look like to them? keep in mind, headspace can really look like anything. for me at least, it looks mostly consistent. a few things may change about it or it may expand, but it's not like imagination where anything happens if you think about it

as a disclaimer i am not going to go in depth about trauma or sources in this post. it can get very personal very quickly. a general way i can put it is think of a long term source of stress and/or abuse that may be present in your iterator's life. handle the subject with care.

the best way to learn about the experiences of plurality is to ask people who are systems. as long as you are given consent, come in with genuine curiosity, and be as reasonable as you can, most systems will be okay with questions! it is like any other identity

a side: other ways to make plural iterators?

iterators do not share human anatomy or physiology. they will never perfectly be able to represent plurality like we have it in our world

but the unique characteristics of iterators can lend way into creative ideas that are similar to plurality! (but never, i want to stress, NEVER the same)

notably, several puppets in one can. if you remember that the body of the iterator is the structure, and the puppets are like the face, then you have several faces, personalities, people, in one body. my immunerators play around with this idea and i am sure there are other ways to get creative!

#rain world #broadcast.txt #gw #headcanon #my askbox is also open for questions #only if it relates to gw/cw or any other iterator oc you want help with plurality for #and not to pry into my personal life #i am a rain world blog. not a system blog #i wanted to offer some help to this part of the community #i will block anyone who gets weird about me or this post

[venbetta]

JFlare is not homophobic, he is not transphobic, he is not a groomer nor is he a pedophile. By your logic, a lot of people, including parents, are pedophiles or groomers because we send our kids to school, participate in sports, or attend the Catholic church or other religious institutions where dangerous people are present. It's your prerogative to dislike JFare, it's your prerogative to even hate him. However, to defame his character on YouTube, you moved from your personal feelings to slander and libel, which are illegal. You and your cohorts are now also bullying and harassing him and I feel that I have no other recourse but to start legal proceedings. According to the attorney, this constitutes both libel and slander. According to YouTube's policies and procedures, as per the beginning of the litigation process, I have to formally request that you take the video down and cease and desist all harassment and bullying toward JFlare. I would also like to suggest that you and your cohorts retract any false statements you've made about his character.

Okay, the first half of what you said is nonsense.

None of what you said didn't make sense because one thing has nothing to do with the other. Let me define grooming for you;

the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them or inducing them to commit an illegal act such as selling drugs or joining a terrorist organization.

How does sending your child to school or church equate to grooming?

I mean, yeah, a kid can get groomed by teachers, mentors, priests... since you wanna bring in the Catholic church.

Hell, even parents themselves can abuse their own kids... but a parent being a parent and sending their kid to do extracurriculars doesn't come close to sexual grooming.

What we're talking about is sexual grooming.

There are multiple screenshots of Flare acting inappropriately with minors and not doing anything to separate himself from those discussions. He's encouraged someone to wait until they're 18 to receive a gift that was nsfw related.

My video was intended to inform the community about his actions and to spread awareness. His community was not a safe environment for his younger audience. So what if his server and streams were switched to 18+?

The damages were already done by allowing people who were groomers and pedos in and allowing them access to kids. Nothing was slanderous if they were true. Don't try to scare me with your legal terminology, because not only could I search those up myself but I have friends who are lawyers as well.

Also, you just solidified the point that some of Flare's fan base go out and harass people who oppose him. Which there was evidence of.

And the fact that you're threatening legal action on a whack ass site like Tumblr, under an anonymous submission, and not even providing any information about yourself?

You don't even know me.

I don't even know if you're in the same country as me. Honestly, this was quite funny to read. If you are affiliated with Flare, I hope you enjoy licking his ass clean. Thank you for the intimidating message, I hope you have a good day.

If anyone's confused by this whole ordeal, please look into the attached links here & here for more information.

#be so fucking for real #jflare

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 PAVIA - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis on Pavia as a character and other related things.

the post about Pavia's love languages and how he shows his affection got a lot of love, so I'm doing a lil more thinking into his character to rlly flesh out how I see and write him before getting to write the second part of that post <3

just a heads up, its preeeetty fucking long. but all of my posts tend to be lmfao

On the subject of Pavia, loneliness and trauma.

In this post talked about the concept of showing affection (not exclusively romantic but just in general) and the relationship Pavia has with his reputation, both as a lone wolf and a skilled mercenary, which affect the way he interacts with those he might deem close for better and for worse. So it's only fair that I do that again in a more general context.

Let's get this out of the way. One cannot talk about Pavia without mentioning or alluding to his solitary lifestyle in some way or another, we've all read his 02 Story, but to only read him as someone who fakes this aura of confidence and who feels deeply insecure and lonely 24/7 is an obvious disservice to his character.

Pavia is defined by a strong sense of self which, yes, originates from isolation and neglect. And you may read this as an active choice for survival, a coping and defense mechanism or the natural progress of someone who has had no one to rely on but themself - all of these readings are valid and can easily coexist! But I would like to insist that Pavia as we know him is confident and comfortable in his own skin, happy to live as an outlier to conventional norms and behaviour.

And that's because he's weaponized loneliness into a strength and a shield. He's outgrown that small, neglected child in the basement.

Hell, in his interview with Pandora Wilson, he mentions the fun of "causing pain" onto others, in the context of his presence being used as a "punishment" for others. He's surrounded by people he considers stupid, and he has fun at their expense when they try to bring him into their shenanigans. Pavia is a confident asshole, it is not a façade for a sad boy.

One quote in particular comes to mind when discussing this aspect of Pavia.

Go back to Rome, where the wolves were born. Said my former boss. He knew I was born in Rome, but didn't know I was raised in Piemonte. He was such a fool, even tried to kill me. So I only kept his tie clip. I didn't tell him that as long as the night will come, everywhere I live is Piemonte.

This line in particular, from my reading on it, speaks volumes about how Pavia has reclaimed the night - alluding to the one place he was forced to live in for his entire childhood, a dark and isolated basement, the concept of loneliness itself - as something that defines him and should inspire fear into others. His wolves are made out of darkness, his Ultimate in-game shows him manifesting out of a dark fog on the ground. And the context of that quote is hostile, it's Pavia's former boss telling him to go back to Rome, and Pavia mentioning that no matter where he goes, as long as the night comes, he's home.

One could argue that the quote is meant to be read differently - instead of Pavia reclaiming something that hurt him to now empower him, he's haunted by it. No matter where he goes, he'll always be in Piemonte, in that dark and isolated basement, with no one to pull him out. And that's fair! To each their own, both are banger readings on that dialogue. I just personally think the former fits better with the character as a whole.

The former reading is also supported by his 02 Story, where he describes the wolves that his Arcanum abilities manifested as "friends he found in the darkness and would never leave him".

One wolf hid behind another, and the pack surrounded him in the darkness of the night. They held each other's heads and tails and coiled together like snakes, bringing with them warmth and restful sleep. These were the friends he found in the darkness, ones who would never abandon or leave him, and who would forever watch over him.

In his Cover profile, his Afflatus is also "Mourning of the Feral Pack [Beast] Night View".

And when you check Pavia's small description in the Role Garment menu, his main garment and the one unlocked at Insight II form the following phrase:

He's always alone, both in the basement and on the street. It doesn't matter now, though. He will never be "alone" from now on.

His Afflatus, his Arcanum abilities, every small detail - everything points towards Pavia owning the night and the darkness that used to hurt him so much as a child. Because it cannot hurt him now that he's made friends with it, in the form of shadow wolves who will never leave him. He's not stuck here with you, you're stuck him with him. (that Insight II quote will be relevant again later when I talk about the lack of? Humanity? so to speak? in Pavia's character)

But anyway! This doesn't mean that the discussion on Pavia and loneliness/isolation should stop there.

After all, his Afflatus also says "Mourning of the Feral Pack" - mourn what exactly? A lost childhood? The family he could've had if his mother hadn't been admitted to an asylum? The young and innocent child that died in that basement so that the current Pavia could exist?

Who knows! Talk about it, it's fun and I love to read other people's takes! <3

On the subject of trauma specifically, I do see Pavia as someone who lives in the present and doesn't think much about the past - he only mentions his parents once in a seemingly disinterested manner, stating that he never visited (and most likely will never visit) his mother. Piemonte is where his abusive aunt raised him, but he shows a certain pride in his city anyway.

It's not that he's overcome and healed from his trauma, it's that he doesn't even register the things that happened to him as traumatic experiences due to the distance and recontextualization of everything.

The fandom portrayal of Pavia as a deeply lonely person often comes hand in hand with him being touchstarved and the experience of feeling any semblance of genuine human connection for the very first time - but I would like to offer an alternative, explained in the next bullet point.

On the subject of Pavia, conventional society and his pack of wolves.

Pavia's official description, as seen in this tweet made by the official global account of the game, is the following:

An independent mercenary lacking in collaborative skills. Employers are content with his excellent abilities, but can't stand his work ethic of ignoring his coworkers.

This, along with his other quotes and the interview with UTTU, point towards how the world sees Pavia as a nuisance of sorts - a punishment, we know this - but it also points towards Pavia's rejection of conventional society.

The way Pavia behaves, the way he insists on maintaining the barrier between himself and conventional society, the pleasure he takes in making others suffer just by BEING THERE NEXT TO THEM, the stress he puts into being alone - it leads me to think that THIS is the result of his trauma.

It's not a deep seated loneliness, it's not yearning and secretly wishing for genuine connections, it's not a fear of the dark or enclosed spaces - it's an absolute and total rejection of the world that failed him.

Pavia cannot feel or grasp loneliness on the same level as other characters might because there is not a single person in this world he would rather spend his time with other than himself. The details of how he got out of the basement and began a life of crime haven't been revealed yet, so I won't theorize about it, but I like to think that everything that Pavia is and represents is one big "fuck you" to a world that left him to rot in that basement.

It all loops back to the previous point - by rejecting mankind and society as a whole, Pavia becomes the opposite: a beast who acts on his own accord rather than the rules that make up polite society. And in doing so, grows closer to himself and his pack. In doing so, he allows his humanity to slowly slip away.

The Insight II quote I mentioned before is a great example of this - the change in his sprites shows Pavia's eyes changing, now with black sclera and sharper teeth, darkness (and two of his wolves) surrounding him. He will never be "alone" from now on because he is now ONE of the pack, because this is where he belongs.

The medium for his Arcanum (not the "wand" used to cast spells and magic, those are different things from what I understand) is "Beast Teeth". Compare this with other characters: Zima's medium are poems, Dikke's medium is the law, Sonetto's medium is curiosity. An arcanist's medium seems to be a concept or object that represents who they are and what they believe in, something that is essential to their life and dear to their core. Pavia's is beast teeth. He's a beast Arcanist.

I like to think that Pavia based his behaviour, knowingly or not, on his pack of wolves. After all, he's the one who conjured them, it makes sense to me that he would subconsciously latch onto them. This would explain his more animalistic traits that show just how disconnected Pavia is from what a regular human being should be.

You guys freak me out when you sleep. What kind of people needs such a long sleep like that? Fall in a coma like a crispy critter, and wake up 8 hours later. …Only god knows how you can do that.

This dialogue implies that Pavia cannot wrap his head around a normal sleeping schedule - which is extremely ironic, considering that wolves sleep a LOT. But I'd attribute this more to the dissonance between him and conventional society than Pavia trying to larp as a wolf. We have to understand that he spent most of his days sleeping away the hunger, that he went on to reject the company of other people - it makes sense to me that he wasn't taught or didn't get to see how a normal person should behave in theory.

Despite this rejection, we can clearly see that Pavia enjoys a very hedonistic life - going on clubs, having a sweet tooth, wearing fancy clothes, shopping, films and whatnot (He's literally wearing Louboutins, guys. The soles of his shoes are RED). He plays the role of mercenary quite well, too. But it doesn't strike me as a writing inconsistency or hypocrisy from his part, Pavia is known for doing whatever he wants, one of his hand tattoos spells "LIBERTA" or freedom in italian, so this tracks. It's hard to be a hypocrite when your moral compass is all about being a wildcard.

I mentioned this in my first Pavia post, but the items attributed to him are all said to be cheap, fake or crudely hand-made.

His glasses are a copy of an actual Italian brand that no one would ever think of mistaking for the real thing, his bracelets and rings are dented and damaged, Pandora Wilson even goes as far as calling it junk. They even describe his earrings as rough workmanship. And yet, Pavia brags about his clothes and enjoys shopping. There's that small dissonance again - he enjoys bragging but does not know (or care) about the actual value or authenticity of his material possessions. (Pavia wears fake Louboutins, this is my headcanon, thanks for coming)

He plays the role of mercenary quite well, too. I'd also argue that the more violent aspects of his personality have to do with his line of work. This tweet confirms the majority of Pavia's tattoos and what they say - the one on his arm is "La Cosa Nuova", the sicilian mafia for those who didn't know. I won't go in-depth about the real life actions of such group, but it's clear that Pavia is or has been part of it within the world of Reverse: 1999.

Entering headcanon territory.

The two bullet points from before were mostly just analysis on how I read Pavia based on all evidence in-game, but now I get to talk about personal headcanons I have about him <3

I've explained pretty much everything I wanted to say about Pavia for now, so these are just gonna be rapid fire headcanons.

First of all, Pavia is a light sleeper.

The lightest sleeper you'll ever meet, even a soft whisper could wake him up - but this isn't because of some hidden fear of waking up back in his aunt's basement. Because he had nothing to focus on but the sounds within that basement, he greatly developed his hearing and his Insight II development further heightened his senses. Pavia is used to dark, silent spaces, so any unknown noise will put him on edge and wake him up. Sometimes, he pretends to sleep to get out of doing work.

Contrary to popular belief, he doesn't move at ALL when sleeping and tends to stay in the same position throughout the night.

This is something he learned, rather than something that comes naturally, because he tends to sleep with the pack and there's little space to move without accidentally kicking Andrea or Leon in the face.

Next. Pavia doesn't know that he resembles his mother a lot.

As for his mother, there are two possibilities: One, she's truly dead and he doesn't know, based on his 02 Story where his aunt confirms that Pavia's mother died a few years later, as well as Pavia's dialogue in which he talks about his mother as if she were alive. Two, she was alive the whole time and Pavia found out years later that she was committed to an asylum and his dialogue about his parents is correct.

Regardless, I like to think that he never saw her again once he was taken into his aunt's care, and that she never told him that the reason she put him in that basement was because he looks so similar to her "deceased" sister. Since they weren't there to raise him and he didn't hear anything about them from his aunt, Pavia holds no resentment and no love towards his parents, because they're total strangers to him.

Next. His wolves' names are interchangeable.

Pavia cares for his pack, and the wolves care for him in return - they were created for that very reason after all. Their dynamic and relationship is a mystery to everyone and it's much too complex to even put into words, but because they're still magical constructs he creates, their behaviour and individuality relies heavily on Pavia's skills as an Arcanist.

There are days in which it's very easy to confuse them, and there are days when it's very obvious how to tell them apart. He's had years to perfect them, to "raise" them if you will.

While the pack might not be around 24/7, they're always in the back of his mind. He can also communicate with them because of it. They don't mind if Pavia confuses them, but if someone else does it? Prepare to get bitten to death, I guess!

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #r1999 #r1999 headcanons #reverse 1999 pavia #pavia #its me yes i love him yes #i lied i didnt talk about everything i think of pavia #i specifically wanna ramble about the loss of humanity but i have no idea how to implement it here in a way i like #but im pretty content with this post!

[aroace-ventplace]

I don't know how to put this right. I really hate qprs, I hate how they're just pushed as "relationship for aspecs" not just in fandom but real life. I hate just the emphasis on lifelong friendships and alternative deep relationships. It drives me up a wall, this seeking out for relationships "equivelant" in depth and closeness to romantic partners without the romance or sex. Maybe this isn't me being aroace? Maybe I really am aplatonic also? But I can't stand the thought of suffering a relationship that suffocatingly close, that's how I knew I was aromantic and I feel like I'm going crazy every time I see other aros and aces lamenting and mourning never getting to have such a deep relationship. Familial relationshipd are the best, because they have a limit to their passive degredation. My cousin doesn't mind it's been 2 years since we talked she still invites me over to her house to see her and talk! Friends are already exhausting what on earth could possibly ever make someone want to deal with something even more than that! What's so appealing about it? What is it everyone even other aros see in these relationships that make them lament lacking them? I can't see anything but cons. It feels like when people get upset about a friendship ending, I'll never understand that drive. I've never felt expected to have a romance or sex life, but I've always felt expected to want an equivelant, to "not be alone" and I can't tell how much of it is subtler forms of amatonormativity and how much of it is just spectrum.... I don't even know what I'm ranting about anymore...

i definitely relate to a lot of what you’re saying. the a-spectrum is so wide that constructs that are really important to one part of the community (like qprs) can make other people (non-partnering aros like myself) feel alienated all over again. this is a bit of a messy subject to tackle, but personally, the idea of being in a qpr fills me with the same kind of revulsion i feel towards being in a more “traditional” relationship. i’m genuinely happy for the aspecs who feel comfortable in qprs—it’s just not something that’ll ever fit me, and that boundary can sometimes feel a bit isolating in general aspec spaces.

i… can’t really discuss aplatonicism/friendships without bringing up the fact that i’m autistic (as are many aspec people). to me, autism feels like being an alien that’s forced to pretend to be human. i don’t understand other people, and most of them don’t understand me, and trying to keep up with them is exhausting; it’s easier for me to just keep my distance. i do have people i consider friends, but what i define as a “friendship” looks very different from what society expects it to be. as an autistic person, most of my relationships are less… “intense,” i guess. prolonged social interaction just isn’t something i’m suited for, and that’s how my brain works, and it’s fine—just like it’s fine how i don’t experience “romance” in the societally expected way.

sorry for the rambling; if nothing else, i hope it at least helped you feel like there’s someone else out there who’s experiencing the same things as you. best of luck!!

#ask #anonymous #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #autism #<- 6-hit ‘a’ combo… nice

[deusexmachinawitch]

hi, how do u personally manifest? what are your steps? thanks !

Lately I've not been my best when it comes to follow my own routine due to work (which is ironic because I manifested this line of work).

Still, what I used to do that gave me the most effective results where:

-Inner work + Shadow Work: I mention this mostly to help with self concept but above all, to help me find what can be blocking my manifestations.

For example, manifesting my ex-SP. I realized I really didn't want him back. Could I have manifested him back? Sure. But I realized that there was a lot of hurt attached to him and I just didn't want someone who was borderline narcissistic back. Can I have change that? Of course, I am God. Did I want to put on the work? No, especially because I found out that I was so special as a God in this reality that I wanted something even much better. That's how I figured out I wanted a dream SP instead and manifested that in less than 2 weeks without any resistance. So this thing should be mostly to make up your damn mind, find your worth and from there WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT.

-Subliminals: I use slade's subliminals and for some reason they work wonderfully for me. With this, is mostly finding subliminals that resonate with you and even have fun with them like challenging yourself and affirm that the subliminals will make manifestation work even faster. Subliminals are fine but your belief in them is much worthy since you're the one defining your own rules in the reality you have created as the God in it.

-Robotic affirmations: Same as subliminals but they are a reminder of what you have chose in this reality. You just affirm the existence of these things like a God summoning things into reality. It makes you feel more powerful.

-Act like the main character while knowing you're God: I feel like the center of my own reality and the lives of the people I've manifested but with a sense of responsibility. I say this because when you manifest a new reality, that may include people you manifested out of thin air or changed people you know. I say this from experience. In my new reality, half of the people I currently know and are close to me are people that I manifested out of thin air and half are people that I changed into better versions. When this happens, people act the way you expect and that gives you a sense of responsibility. In my case, everyone adores me and constantly check on me and pamper me. So to enjoy things better, I act like I don't expect my manifestations to enjoy my manifestation better plus not being attached to the results. With this, I mean that I act like I didn't expect things to happen even if I manifested them to enjoy them better.

As an example, I'll talk about a success story that happened to me this weekend. A friend of mine whom I manifested out of thin air and practically adores me and trusts my judgement, traveled with me for work and paid for all my expenses to make sure I was comfortable and suddenly realized they overspent on me and didn't blame me for it but felt sad. I did expect they would spoil me but felt bad about the money they spent on me. So I affirmed things would be alright and that they would have so much money soon that we could even go on a trip for leisure along with other people. So, 3 days after that happened, payments that should have gone to them suddenly were cancelled because of "billing mistakes on the other part" so they didn't have to pay for a lot of things this month and then they got a large sum from a family member. They were so shocked and they actually told me we are going on a trip on May to a city I wanted to go, my expenses paid.

During this time, I did show concern for my friend and comforted them but at the same time I was affirming that they were getting that money they spent on me back but doubled and it happened. I knew it was going to happen so I wasn't worried but at the same time I did what I had to do to make my friend feel better while knowing the outcome. So I was the main character but also God.

-Above all, incorporate manifestation to your daily routines so it feels natural: If it feels unnatural and forced, trust me that while you can try and manifest during any circumstance as long as you believe in the end... It's better when it feels natural because it becomes effortless. Affirm while you're in the shower, listen to subliminals while cleaning, etc... And don't feel bad incorporating watching LoAss vids or consuming content. Just use them as a reminder of how to manifest and also, do some manifesting challenges for fun! Just make it natural and even fun so you feel connected to your power and so manifestation doesn't feel like a chore.

You can also try new techniques to try new things or even make your life even better with revision or scripting with a special notebook or app. Make it fun, you're the main character even if you're God!

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