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shelbgrey · 1 year

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Hi! alright? could you do a fanfic where the reader (or y/n) is Emmett and Rosalie's adopted daughter and they just LOVE the fact that she's a redhead? they love her freckles all over her cheeks and fiery red hair, not only them, but the entire Cullen family, they love it!! And maybe one imagines where someone at school admires her for her fiery hair and vampires don't like it! Idk ❤️.

Forever now(Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale)

Paring: Daughter!Reader X Emmett Cullen x Rosalie Hale.

Summary: normally when a child in need crosses the path of the Cullens carlisle is always willing to find a spot in his family for them but when a small red-head crosses their path its Rosalie's turn to start the family she's always wanted.

A/n: I love this request so much. I love purness in it and I'm excited to write my first Twilight request.

A/n #2: request are currently closed so I can work on my Emmett Cullen series.

MasterList

The little girl with firey hair story starts a little while back. The little girl was no less than two when she we welcomed into the Cullen family. The little girl's mother had died while giving birth to her and her father was unfit to take care of her.

The soul residents of small town in Alaska became concerned for the red-head child which led her in the hands of the chief of police. This was Beyond the cop's knowledge, so of course he called Carlisle Cullen who was head of the hospital he worked at the time. He had brought the small red-head girl to the hospital and Carlisle was in aw as the small girl stared at him with big doe eyes, almost too shy for her own good.

Carlisle knelt down to her hight and offered his hand. He smiled softly as the little girl approached him carefully. She was clueless to the situation but she knew she could trust the blonde doctor with gold eyes.

Alice had a vision of the red-head girl with freckles but the version she saw, Carlisle and Esme adopted her. Alice's visions had never been so wrong...

Not even the 300 year old vampire could explain what happened that day. As the little girl wondered around the bright house she curiously walked up to Emmett. He was setting in the living room playing video games when the small girl poked his knee a mumbled a small word...

“giant”

It was the first time they heard her talk and they were not disappointed. Emmett chuckled at the smell girl as she hugged on his giant leg. She didn't shy away from him. She did the same with Rosalie.

The family have never seen her this happy. She had gotten home from late from a shopping trip that same night and she was in love as soon as she saw the little girl's fuzzy red hair and beautiful freckles setting on Emmett's lap.

“who's this?” she smiled. The little girl waved at Rosalie and had a big cheesey smile. Rose loved every part of the little girl. In her eyes she's was perfect, from her red hair to her freckles.

The little girl stayed for about a week before the family made the decision of what would the future would be. As that week passed Rosalie grew more and More attached. She would always make sure she ate well and would do her hair everyday. Just like a mother would.

As for Emmett he was slightly afraid to be around the small human. With his bone crushing strength and everything else that came with being a vampire he would never forgive himself if he hurt her.

Of course that didn't stop the little girl. She would giggle and follow him around where ever he went. If he was working on his jeep she would laugh and crawl under it with him. If he was playing video games she would crawl into his lap begging him to read her a story.

All that two year old understood was, this was her home and the people around her was family. She was so young her brain told her Emmett and Rosalie was Mommy and Daddy. Which led Rosalie to life aultering decision after that one single word that fell out of Little red's mouth.

'mama'

Edward nor Jasper could even put into words how happy she was. When she heard that she was glowing with happiness as she held the little girl.

“mama loves you darling” she mumbled. After that the family knew she had a home there and they also knew Rosalie would fight tooth and nail for that little girl.

That night Rosalie layed on the couch as the little girl slept soundly in her arms. Emmett quietly joined her with a huge grien. “okay” he simply replied.

“okay?” she chuckled not really catching on.

“she's ours Rose” his smile only got bigger as he watched his mate hold the little girl with nothing but pure happiness.

“your mommy and daddy love you so much little y/n” Rosalie said kissing her sleeping head.

And that's how the little girl with red hair and freckles became y/n Hale-Cullen. The little girl brought so much joy into the family and each family member ment so much too her.

Emmett and Rosalie of course were #1 in her eyes but as she made herself comfortable in the family she also made meaningful relationships.

She was a listener and an observer so she quickly caught on that carlisle and Esme were her parents 'parents'. She would often call carlisle, Car or pops. When she was little she couldn't properly say his name which lead to Car and pops. Carlisle became close with the small child as well, he loved her personality and loved it when she'd ask about being a doctor. Then Esme. Y/n grew close with Esme immediately, if she wasn't with rose then she was with Esme.

Her Aunts and Uncles were the same. She'd never say it out loud but Jasper was her favorite uncle. Jasper would say y/n was the only thing pure in his life, but that was true for all of them.

Then there's the who vampire thing. Y/n wasn't stupid and of course she wanted to know why mom and dad never ate gold fish crackers like she did and she wanted to know why when ever she had a bad dreams mom and dad weren't in bed asleep when she ran in for comfort.

She was about six years old when she found out. She knew she had to keep it a secret and she was very good at it. This also led to Rosalie's fear of her becoming a vampire. Of course she wanted her daughter to be around Forever, but her heart broke eveytime she thought about the opportunities that would be tooken away from her. Which is why she's now 16 and looked the same age as her uncle Edward.

Y/n would never say it out loud but she was sick of it. She wanted to be like her family and it was hard for her grow up while everyone else in her family remained the same ages. She wanted her mom's gold eyes and her father's strength... She just wanted to feel normal in what she felt was a normal family but here she was, now 16 going to High school with her parents and her Aunts and Uncles.

Just livin' the dream...

--------( ....... )--------

So far Forks was y/n favorite palce to live. She's been just about everywhere, that came with being a Cullen. But something about this town was special to her. But the down fall was all the curious eyes. She didn't like the attention her family received. She hated how people would watch them... She hated how people watched her and that made her have second thoughts about the thing everyone loved about her.

She's was going through a 'phase' at least Emmett and Rosalie hoped it was. Her phase was she didn't like how her hair looked, no matter how many times Rosalie or Esme would tell her how beautiful she was. But no matter what she did with it everyone still seemed to be in aw about it.

Especially the boys at Forks High...

As I said before she hated how people watched her. Her beautiful hair is the reason why people watched her. She started to resent it no matter how many different ways Rosalie or Alice styled it or how many times Carlisle would say how beautiful it was. She just hated the attention. She hated the attention the high school boys gave her.

“Hey, y/n” Mike Newton said one day as she was leaving her English class.

Y/n wasn't a socializing type, hell she was shy. She would just mumbled a small hello with a smile. Mike continued to walk with her and eye her up and down.

“your hair is pretty today” Mike smiled. It was a nice thing to say, yes but as he said it y/n passed her uncle Jasper.

“Hey I was wondering if-”

Jasper slammed his locker shut in anger as he felt impure feelings the teen felt for his niece. In Mike's defense he truly liked her but he would never be her type. Jasper took on the role of the big brother he played at school and walked up to the two.

“hi y/n” he said glaring at Mike. Y/n rolled her eyes as milk gulped.

Jasper continued to walk down the hallway with the two as he intimidated Mike. Y/n sighed and looked down in embarrassment but at the same time thankfull it wasn't her father. Emmett would have made it ten times worse.

“Hey Mike, weren't you gonna say something?” y/n asked softly as they walked to their next class with Jasper.

He shrugged. “I honestly don't remember” he said staying silent in fear of what Jasper would do. They then walked passed Alice and Rosalie in the hallway he recoiled even further as he felt Rosalie's percing eyes. Rose didn't say anything though, she knew her daughter was safe with Jasper. She also knew Emmett would have a cow if he found out.

Despite the angry eyes of the Cullen family, Mike couldn't stop looking at her beautiful red hair. He loved the way the curls perfectly framed her face and bounced as she moved gracefully. But you just don't look at y/n Cullen like that. No matter if you have good intentions or not.

So Mike failed and so did a handful of others at school. Jasper of course kept it a secret like y/n asked but his mind would wonder and if it wondered to that one faithful day Edward would find out. And Edward refused to lie to Emmett or Rosalie when it came y/n.

This would lead to Emmett putting the fear of God in Mike dispite his daughter's pleas. Yes she found him annoying but the kindness Esme and Carlisle had tougher made her fear for Mike.

Tyler was the only one who was close to even getting a date with her. She actually liked him at one point but then he moved away. But after that y/n stopped showing interest in the boys of her school. She stopped even if they still loved her and her red hair.

Those human boys never mattered to her. There was no possible future due to her life style and family. They especially stopped mattering after she found her mate Benjamin...

The first thing Benjamin noticed about her was her freckled covered cheeks as she smile. He couldn't help but smile with her. He was in love with her firey red hair and couldn't stop staring at how it perfectly layed on her shoulders or how it reminded him of the sunsets at his home.

All the things she grew tired of because of the boys at Forks High, she grew to love because of Benjamin's genuine compliments and love he had for the things that made her stand out.

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littlespace-imagines · 18 days

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Hiii! I love you blog so much!! Could you by chance do a Carlisle Cullen where he’s the reader’s caregiver? Lots of snuggles and some comforting reassurance for mental health struggles? Thank you🥺💞

Cg!Carlisle Cullen x little!human!reader

Headcannons

Contains: established relationship, CG/l dynamics, littlespace, Carlisle being the best, fluff

Carlisle would be the best caregiver for a chronically ill little honestly.

He’d use his position as a doctor to get you actually diagnosed and get you the accommodations you need.

He also just…. Loves to spoil his loved ones.

I could absolutely see him “prescribing” his little one regression time just because he can tell they’re overwhelmed and not doing great.

Is the best ever sippy-cup refiller. Keeps you hydrated even if you won’t do it yourself.

Very supportive of your clinginess. Literally will get a comfy pull-out couch for you in his work office for when you need him extra bad that day.

Gives those good, firm hugs where he rubs your back a little bit.

Fully supports you sitting on his lap for cuddles if you need it.

Keeps you fed on a schedule

This man buys you things just because he forgets you can buy things yourself

I think Carlisle would rather be called Papa than daddy imho

Carlisle is the type of caregiver to zip your coat for you if he thinks it’s cold

Also always holds your hand when going places

He really enjoys slow, comfy days in with you

Enjoys playing with you! Loves buying you play pretend toys so you can both play together

Loves seeing your imagination work

#x little!reader #littlespace fanfiction #little!reader #xlittle!reader #twilight agere #twilight x you #carlisle cullen headcannons #carlisle cullen x reader

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owen-writes · 5 months

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Owen Writes

Male Reader Or Gender Neutral Or FTM Reader Only

Fem aligned people may interact and read but do not fetishize. No Fem Reader requests.

Masterposts:

Main Masterpost

Doctor Who Masterpost

Nameless Series Masterpost (needs a name)

ATM, I write for:

The Doctor (9,10,11,12,14,15) - Doctor Who

Rory Williams - Doctor Who

Captain Jack Harkness - Doctor Who

Alec Hardy - Broadchurch

Cale Erendreich - Bad Samaritan

Campbell Bain - Takin' Over The Asylum

Crowley - Good Omens (Will Do Poly Ineffable Husbands)

Saul Silva (Platonic) - Fate, The Winx Saga

Cullen Family (Platonic) - Twilight

Sierra Six - The Grey Man

Jonah Simms - Super Store

James Marriott

Lucifer Morningstar - Netflix Lucifer

Rules:

No smut! I may write smut if I want to but will not write requests that are smut. (Basically if I get horny and want to indulge, I will.)

All smut I do write is for 18+ only. You're reading my work at your own discretion and I am not responsible for what you read on the Internet.

Gore wise - no explicit descriptions but cannon typical stuff I'm okay with.

I can delete any request if it makes me uncomfortable

I'm not really a fan of AUs or anything that strays too far from cannon.

Can be a platonic or romantic relationship. Aka dad or husband? (Basically I have some deep daddy issues)

I like to have dialogue prompts to start off. But it's okay if not. (I lack the creative fuse to make up a story but can sure as hell write em.)

#doctor who x reader #the doctor x reader #10th doctor x reader #12th doctor x reader #9th doctor x reader #11th doctor x reader #saul silva x reader #alec hardy x male reader #alec hardy x reader #campbell bain x reader #cale erendreich x reader #crowley x reader #ineffable Husband x reader #sierra six x reader #rory williams x reader #captian jack harkness x reader #cullen family x reader #james marriott x reader #jonah simms x reader

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ronweasleysslut · 2 years

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Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

Its here bitches. It’s been a year since i started posing on this hell site and i’m super excited for y’all to read these fics <3

(Days 1, 2, & 3 will be posted on October 4th. some things came up, hope y’all aren’t too mad at me but i will have them to you soon :)

btw here’s last years masterlist to tide you over

October 1

- Ron Weasley~ Size kink, Switch!ron & Switch!reader

October 2

- Spencer Reid~ Sensory deprivation

October 3

- Draco Malfoy~ Temperature play

October 5

- Charlie Swan~ Daddy kink

October 7

- James Potter~ Mommy kink

October 8

- Steve Harrington~ Make-up sex

October 9

- Theodore Nott~ Public sex

October 10

- Edward Cullen~ Marking kink

October 12

- Remus Lupin~ CNC

October 14

- Peter Parker~ Cockwarming/sub

October 15

- Mattheo Riddle~ Breath play

October 16

- Fezco~ Angry!sex

October 17

- Cedric Diggory~ Overstimulation

October 19

- Aaron Hotchner~ Healing/comfort sex

October 21

-Sirius Black~ Oral fixation, exhabitionism

October 22

- Jacob Black~ Dumbification

October 23

- Harry Potter~ Cunnilingus

October 24

- Steve Rodgers~ Breeding Kink

October 26

- Tom Riddle~ Knife Kink

October 28

- Carlisle Cullen~ Doctor x patient/cheating kink

October 29

- Blaise Zabini~ Sadist!Blaise, Dacryphilia, Edging

October 30

- Loki Laufeyson~ Bondage

October 31

- The Weasley Twins~ Hate sex

(Tagging moots 💕🫶🏻)

@dr4cking @papillon-mechant @weasleytwinscumslut @spicypisceshit @dlmmdl @malfoysgem @bukoffski @enviedear @horrorxweasley @sunshinemunchkin @carnationbasement @weaselbrownie @thecastlewitch @phuckinphia @multiqts @shespeaksinsongs @littlemissnoname13 @mellifluousart @banquetwriter @weasleyapologist @saintlike78 @drayslove @draconisxcaput @nevsluvr @dylwrites @ronweasleysratt @siriusblackloml l @fairydxll @sereinegemini (If you know we are moots and I missed you please let me know but I think I got all of you <3)

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welcometololaland · 4 months

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Here it is...LOL-ing at the choice of characters. Jacob shirtless. DYING. And like, fuck the rest of the cullens who actually live there. But here's Doctor Daddy Cullen. Dead. https://nerdist.com/article/lego-announces-twilight-cullen-house-set-edward-bella-jacob-minifigures/

Michelle 😂😂😂😂😂 I'm screaming!!!!! this needs no comment you have really said it all

cc vampire enthusiasts: @strandnreyes @lightningboltreader @rmd-writes

#twilight #heartstringsduet

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youareonlyastory · 1 year

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No but seriously Twilight but Carlisle Cullen with PFach personality 👀

AGSHFHSJAKS,

Twilight with PFach energy would could be the gaggle of girls following Daddy Cullen as he splashed out the cash.

'Dad, I got an A,'

'Carlisle I hand -crafted my own Car!'

'I released my own fashion label-'

'I threw Jasper outta the window!'

And every single sentence would just get him blowing bubble gum bubbles, giving a half-hearted thumbs up till Esme comes round the corner with a horny:

'That's one fine ass, Doctor Cullen.'

And then he'd check himself out in the reflection of his car, grin and just reply:

'Mm, I recognise it.'

#twilight #carlisle cullen #kinkyy #Stregoni Benefici #BEST QUESTION EVER #Shout out to #Spanish Influenza #for wooing the man with pictures of himself #now lets re-write twilight?#this is a Reader post #Carlisle Cullen x Reader #hahahahahahahahah stop me Bitch #thank you do much for such a clever question

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justafairytailofinnocence · 2 years

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Hi! Can I request one shot with mom reader x Carlisle wholesome moment with Rosalie. Rose would definitely be my fav child and not Edward 🙄. She’s so feisty and Carlisle nickname kitten for her just fit her so much lol.

Also Because I have daddy issue hahahaha

Hello dear💖, thanks for your request.

Carlisle Cullen x mom reader 👧🧛‍♂️ Vampires and Kittens👧

Y/n was a vampire, she had recently been founded by the Cullen’s and since then she had met her mate Carlisle. Y/n and Carlisle met through the hospital; she was a nurse who had feelings for the doctor. Y/n changed when Carlisle proposed to her, she made the choice, she wanted to live a life of eternity with her dear beloved mate.

Changing into a vampire at first was quite difficult, it felt like you were suffocating and then you no longer breathed. All the sights, scents, sounds became clearer, y/n could hear a human’s blood flowing from a mile away. Animal blood wasn’t exactly like human blood, it was enough to satisfy you, but human blood fulfilled you. Y/n’s speed was unnatural, her strength was supernatural, and her beauty was phenomenal.

Y/n was sitting down in the lounge, she picked up a book and started to read it. Y/n’s eyes scanned through every part of the text, word by word she tried to picture the scene in her head that was until a door swung open. “Come on Rosalie, it’s not that bad, Bella’s quite cool” Emmett was trying to reason with Rosalie “She shouldn’t be here, why does she even want to throw her life away”. Y/n closed the book to see what the two were even arguing about. “Well, she’s not a vampire yet, who knows she might change her mind” Emmett smiled, Rosalie rolled her eyes “Bella’s made her choice, she’s prepared to give up something everyone would want”.

Y/n felt bad, she was closer to Rosalie then out of anyone from the Cullen’s, they share a mother-daughter bond.

“Emmett, do you mind giving Rosie some space” y/n held Emmett’s shoulder, she knew when Rosalie wanted space. “Fine, whatever” Emmett sped off annoyed, Rosalie didn’t like Bella, she thought the whole thing of her becoming a vampire was idiotic. “Rosalie, do you mind if we can talk” y/n smiled “I guess, whatever it won’t change anything” Rosalie sighed. “Why are you and Emmett arguing” Y/n knew how close they were, Emmett was Rosalie’s mate, they were soulmates. “Nothing its just-, I can’t believe ever since Bella joined, she would give her life away when she has a choice”.

Y/n placed a hand over Rosalie’s shoulder, Bella had chosen to be apart of the family and Edward had found someone that made him happy. Rosalie in truth was jealous Bella had the freedom to do as she pleases, to have a family, have people care for her, enjoy life. Rosalie could never understand why Bella would throw all of that away, her life as a human.

“To give up something so precious to become something monstrous” Rosalie’s eyes slightly glared “Rosalie, I know you want that life back but you’re with someone that loves you truly” y/n smiled.

Rosalie smiled to herself, she leaned into y/n’s grasp “you will always be my daughter, me and Carlisle couldn’t ask for anyone else”.

Speaking of timing, y/n heard someone knock lightly on the door “hey y/n, I finished work early”. Carlisle’s eyes gazed on y/n and Rosalie’s as they seem to be having a moment “hey kitten, everything all right?”. Carlisle sat in between, he wrapped his arms around y/n and his Rosalie.

Rosalie didn’t say anything, she leaned into her loving parents arms, they might’ve not been her real mum or dad, but they were there for her. “Don’t worry kitten, we will do our best to care for you” Carlisle smiled.

For the rest of the night, y/n and Carlisle spent time with Rosalie, the one thing she was grateful for when she was turned. She was loved by people who care about her, her tragic past seems like a figment when y/n and Carlisle came into her life.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta✨

Oneshot requests: open

#Twilight x reader #Twilight #Carlisle cullen #Carlisle cullen oneshot #twilight saga #carlisle x reader

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sethsclearwater · 1 year

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And the last one 💖 Can you do Carlisle (again, no Esmo existing) with his female!human!s/o that's on her period and is having horrible pain? Like she feels she's gonna pass out and is just laying in bed in pain? How would daddy Cullen (xD) help his mate? 💖

once again i am so sorry for not seeing this for literally two years🤦🏻‍♀️ can’t believe i just now figured out how to access my requests😭

...

period pain was nothing new to you. though, every month you seemed to forget just how bad the pain was and consistently found yourself baffled by how miserable you were.

this month seemed to be particularly bad seeing as you were quite literally curled up in your fiance's bed, light-headed and nauseous from the seemingly never-ending cramps that left you near tears.

"still hurting?" carlisle murmured, gently brushing your hair out of your face so he could get a better look at you.

"i literally feel like i'm dying," you whined, tightening your grip around your abdomen and rolling over so you could rest your head in his lap, desperate for any kind of comfort.

"i'll get you some more midol. i really think you should consider birth control so you don't have to keep doing this every month." he cooed, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

you groaned, shaking your head and burying your face in his lap as you mumbled, "don't wanna. too many side effects."

he sighed at this, stroking his fingers through your hair, "you know i'm a doctor, right?" if you didn't know him any better you'd think he was teasing you. "i wouldn't suggest it if i didn't think it would help," he cooed, gently massaging your scalp. although it didn't do much for the pain in your uterus, it did provide a small bit of comfort.

"i know." you reluctantly mumbled, rolling over so you could look up at him, now teary-eyed from the pain.

he frowned, "no tears my love," he cooed, "why don't we go downstairs and put something on the tv? and i'll get you some more midol and something to help with the nausea." he suggested thoughtfully, and you nodded, allowing him to bundle you up into his arms and carry you downstairs.

#carlise cullen #carlisle cullen blurb #twilight imagine #twilight blurb #maddiewrites

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redheadjustin · 2 years

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Not sure how todo these but could you maybe make a part 2 of edwards basterd where y/n meets Bella if you haven’t already? You don’t half to just wanted to ask.

So, I always planned on doing a part two for this. But given the amount of requests I had and the fact I was working on The ginger Cullen chapter four meant I had a lot to write. But, since this technically counts as a request I can justify writing it so I hope you enjoy it. I also know not everyone reading this is austisic but I wanted to use this as an opportunity to show what some autisic kids go through be it from their peers or their “caretakers' ' as I know how it feels with both. So I hope you receive this well and this is a chance to treat those with autism better.

Your short time with the Cullen family and Embry had been nice. Esme loved to cook your favorite meals and always made enough for Embry to have some witch the wolf greatly appreciated, as he loved to spend any time he could being with you. Carlisle was your personal doctor and a good one at that. He knew how to get you to open up about an injury faster than anyone, even Edward had issues doing that. Alice of course loved to use you as a dress up doll. Since Reneeseme grows so fast she has more time to get clothes for you as while you are half vampire you age at a normal rate. So, you are the only four year old in forks to wear Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Versace. Embry laughs at the look on your face whenever It’s time for another outfit fitting. Jasper does TRY to raine in his mate but well, It doesn’t work but he does try. Rosalie loves to teach you about cars which is easy considering your gift of seeing people's memories just by looking into someone’s eyes. She also gets you model cars and loves to help build them. Emmett is the one to teach you sports and you love football, basketball and kickball. You look at Emmett as your older brother as he’s such a child at heart. Emmett is also the one to stay with you during thunderstorms while the others play baseball.

Your sister, Renesme, loves you but doesn't spend a lot of time with you as you’d like. Jacob always tries to include you and Embry with the two of them but your older sister just isn’t that interested in you. It’s nothing personal but unfortunately Renesme takes after her mother as much as her father.

Embry is a big brother to you but everyone knows that as you get older his feelings will change and no one cares. Edward knows embry would never hurt you and is the perfect match for you. Embry loves spending every waking moment he can with you and makes sure you’re never alone. While Embry can’t take you on patrol with him he does leave you with Emily and you LOVE to help Emily cook for the pack. Embry moved into the pack house a bit after he imprinted on you as he couldn’t stand his mother’s questions and accusations. Embry desperately wishes you could meet his mother but until Sam and the counsel knew for sure who Embry’s father is, they wouldn’t approve telling Tiffaney Call about the pack and intern about Embry’s Imprint. Embry also had a room at the Cullens as It was immensely painful to be away from you for more than forty five minutes. Rose raises objections to how close Embry is to you but they fall on deaf ears as Embry has Edward’s trust, speaking of Edward.

Edward is the best daddy you could EVER ask for. He always gets you up in the morning and gives you a morning bath and as many hugs as you ask for no matter how wet you are. Edward loves to look at your green eyes and it’s trippy for Edward to see that used to be his all those years ago. You were quiet and reserved around your daddy. It wasn’t that you didn’t like or trust him but you were always shy. The only people who understand are Embry and your daddy. Your daddy understood because he could hear your thoughts and that gave you a close bond with him. One Edward never shared with Renesmee as his little girl grew up too fast literally. Embry understood because he was that kid. Embry didn’t know his father and was always teased because of that. Embry was shy, reserved and cautious, only speaking when he had to. So if anyone understood you without hearing your thoughts it’d be Embry.

Edward was protective of you, and you didn’t mind a bit. It was a welcomed change from your mom who would leave you with your grandma and go partying. You listened to your daddy and Family as you understood it was for your protection. Sometimes you have difficulty reading and getting distracted and social cues are hard as well. Not to mention that you get overwhelmed by a lot of people and you could be overstimulated by anything and had preferences on what textures were okay for you. Carlisle was able to diagnose you with being on the autism spectrum within two weeks of being with the Cullens. This only endeared you to the wolfpack even more. They viewed you as a pup that needed a bit more help than other pups. It was the same with the Cullens. They made accommodations and helped you adjust and made sure you weren’t uncomfortable. And so far it was going great! But now you had to meet Bella or your stepmother.

Ever since you came to live with your daddy Bella stayed away. Whether it be in Alaska with the other vegetarian coven or managing to visit her mother, she made it known she didn’t like you. Not to your face of course but it was clear to everyone that she didn’t like you. But, for some reason she insisted on coming back to meet you after she was told of your autism.

You were sitting on the back patio with Embry in his wolf from on your left side. You absentmindedly ran your hand through his fur. You LOVED Embry’s fur, it was safe texture number one and you loved anytime Embry would let you pet his fur. You had a nervous posture and it didn’t take a genus to determine why you were on edge. You wanted to meet your stepmom but you had this feeling in your gut. You felt like you knew Bella because of the people’s memories you’ve seen her in but you also knew you were the reason she’s been away from forks and that made you apprehensive.

You giggle as Embry licks your cheek. While Embry’s wolf tongue isn’t exactly a safe texture you don’t stop him as you know it’s the only way for Embry to show affection in wolf form. Embry nudges your shoulder with his snout causing your giggiels to turn into laughter. Embry’s ears perked up as he heard the door to Bella’s car open and close. “She’s here?” You asked in a weak voice. The wolf’s nod told you all you needed to know. You were nervous and could feel a meltdown coming. You wish you’d already met Bella when you first arrived at the Cullens. You know of Bella’s animosity but you just hoped the time away softened her views. You could hear your daddy telling Bella about the ins and outs of your autism. Your nerves were skyrocketing and Embry felt it through the bond. You see, because of your autism and how sometimes you could go non verbal the imprint created a way for you two to communicate and it was a way for Embry to know how to help. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you knew who it was instantly. “Hey daddy.” You said it so quietly that if your daddy wasn’t a vampire he wouldn’t have heard. “What’s wrong buddy?” Edward asked softly to demonstrate in front of Bella how to deal with your autism. Edward knew what was wrong but he wanted you to use your words so you could get used to telling people how you felt or what you wanted when Embry or himself weren’t around. “Nervous about meeting Bella.” The smile on Edward’s was sweet and understanding and you couldn’t have felt more at peace. “Oh buddy, It’ll be okay you’ll see. How about I go make a snake for you and you get to know Bella, huh?” You were hesitant but the look on your daddy’s face told you that you were safe and you had nothing to fear. You nodded shyly as you liked the idea that your daddy guaranteed that Bella was nice. The mind reader nodded back with a smile at his son and went to the kitchen. As soon as Edward was in the house Bella walked to you and Embry was on alert as he knew Edward told Bella not to approach without warning.

“So, you’re the retard bastard, huh?” Embry gave a warning growl but if Bella heard she didn’t show it. You flinched at the haterade in her voice and your anxiety went through the roof. You did what your daddy told you and stood up and tried to walk into the house but Bella pushed you back down. Embry stood up, still in his wolf form and edged closer to you and her. “Shut up mutt! What’s wrong? Too dumb to defend yourself? Need daddy and a mutt to do it for you?” The amount of disgust in her voice was making you uncomfortable and you wanted to leave. Embry stepped closer as you could hear The other Cullen family members rushing outside. But, Bella went to slap you. Embry lept at Bella and you bolted into the forest much to your daddy’s and Embry’s dismay. You kept running farther and farther away from the Cullen house. You stop running as you see a black wolf step out of the bushies and you recognize it as Sam. You wanted to run more but Then Paul came out of the bushes. Then Jacob, then Jared, Then Quil, Then Leah and then finally, Seth stepped out in his human form.

“Easy Y/N, we’re not here to hurt you. We just wanna make sure you don’t get hurt. Embry called, they’re dealing with Bella right now but your dad couldn’t come get you right now. So, he called us to help and we’d do anything to help you, pup.” For some reason your breathing calmed down. You were deathly afraid of making your daddy mad at you. Your mom never noticed your autism and was a bit harsh, punishing you for the smallest infraction. Edward had only really had one rule for you. Don’t go into the forest unsupervised. And technickley you did just that and you were afraid of your daddy’s reaction. You knew he wouldn’t hit you like your mommy used to but you were afraid that your daddy would keep you away from Embry and at this point that would feel as bad as any beating would. So, you felt immense relief hearing your daddy wasn’t mad at you.

“So, until your daddy or Embry can get you how bout you come back with us to uncle Sam and auntie Emily’s house?” That sounded good to you. You LOVED to be around uncle Sam. You knew Sam was Embry’s half brother making him your uncle for the time being. Sam adored you and LOVED whenever he could babysit you. He’s probably the one who understands your autism the most after your daddy and Embry.

Sam lowered himself, in wolf form to the ground on his belly and let you ride on his back. You were holding back tears as the events between you and Bella finally set in. You had your neck nuzzled into Sam’s fur like it was a lifeline. You just wanted hugs and to be told it would all be okay. You don’t know how long it took but eventually Sam had Seth pick you up so Sam could shift back into a human. The rest went to go to the Cullens house to help as Seth carried you into the house where Emily was already waiting with your favorite kind of cookie.

It seemed like hours to you as you sat in uncle Sam’s lap just drinking milk and calming down. Seth eventually had to join the patrols but you were left in very capable hands with uncle Sam and aunt Emily. You mentioned how you were afraid of being in trouble with your daddy and Embry. Sam had this look on his face and it told you something was wrong but he wouldn’t tell you what was going on but you were used to that. You knew the phrase “Pups don’t need to be worried about big wolf business”. It was around eight at night, after dinner, Embry and your daddy walked through the door and you lept from uncle Sama’s arms just happy that your daddy and Embry came back for you. This joy was short-lived as you saw yours and Embry’s suitcases.

“D-Daddy? W-what's wrong?” You heard the shaking in your voice and you hated how you sounded. “Buddy, Me, you and Embry are going up to Alaska for a bit. It’ll be a bit of a vacation and when we come back you won’t have to worry about Bella anymore, okay bud?” you felt saddened at the fact that you had forced your daddy away from Bella. You keep forgetting about your daddy’s gift. “Bud, listen to me. We’re going away to give Bella to either find a new place to live as she’s no longer welcomed in Forks or for her to reconsider her actions. You’re not forcing me away from her. This is so you don’t have to be afraid of being harmed, my prince. You did nothing wrong. You’re my top priority. So, don’t feel bad. Now, how bout we go see Auntie Tanya. Does that sound good?”

So that’s how you found yourself in the backseat of Edward’s Volvo with your head on Embry’s shoulder. Your head was spinning and you wanted to just forget all the stuff that had happened that day. Embry was texting his pack making sure that If Bella didn’t reform and she didn’t go willingly then Embry got first dibs. Edward kept glancing at you through the rear view mirror. His smile was huge but you were too tired to notice. “Sleep well, pup. You're safe, we got you.” And the heaviness got too much for you to fight. You drifted off to sleep and you could have sworn that you felt Embry’s wolf tongue lick you cheek to let you know you were safe. That you would ALWAYS be safe.

#twilight #x male reader #male reader #male reader insert #male!reader #x male! reader #twilight x male reader #twilight x male! reader #twilight x male oc #male child reader #autism #autistic male reader

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year

Note

Hi, just read your ‘Edward come back and Rosalie is turned’ and I just gotta ask, does Edward have any morals? outside of his ‘what would Carlisle do?’ bracelet? Any sort of aspiration or goal that isn’t super tied to the mindless consumption of the Cullen lifestyle? Like, what does he want to be and what identity (if any) does he have that is solely tied to him alone and not the Cult Daddy Doctor and clan?

The post anon's referring to.

Edward's Actually Very Moral, He Just Doesn't Know What Morality Is

Edward has an incredibly strong strength of will and adherence to his internal beliefs. Moreover, he wants to be a good person desperately and knows/has a sneaking suspicion that he's... not.

The reason why we get Edward clinging to the Carlisle way and Carlisle's principles is that Edward did reject them and go off on his own and...

He ate a lot of people.

Somewhere in that time he realized that his hunting down murderers and rapists (and initially alcoholics) was not doing some noble feat in the world but just his own justification for murder so he'd find it palatable.

Edward knows that without that WWCD bracelet...

He's eating Volterra Square, Bella, the entire Biology classroom, those guys who followed Bella in Port Angeles, smashing Mike Newton's head into a wall, etc.

And that terrifies him.

But Who Does He Want to Be?

You answered it yourself.

Edward wants to be Carlisle.

He aspires to be him in all aspects. He even bemoans that he doesn't look like Carlisle and desperately tries to see some of Carlisle's face in his own (and is horrified at the prospect that he'd look nothing like Carlisle if he were to go on a murder spree, eat Biology, and eat Bella Swan).

Edward despises Edward Cullen in his entirety, to Edward, it's obvious that of course he doesn't want to be him. No one wants Edward Cullen.

Edward has an identity that's not the Cullens (it's called the Edward who spent four years on his own as Batman) but he doesn't like that Edward. So he grips to the Cullen identity with everything he has so he will never, ever, be anything else.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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dinoalexander · 4 months

Text

Your Moment of Zen: The World Famous Semi-Quotable 2023 Quotedown Quotetacular (NSFL)

The following is created from encounters from many friends and loved ones over the past year. And it is my honor to say... READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. === Y'all know what this is... We've done this 21 times before... Here comes #22.... ... as we proceed... ... to give you what you need... ... 2023 QUOTE WALL, LET'S GO! === “Happy 2023! Everything has been perfectly fine the first 2 minutes. Don't screw it up for the rest of us over the next 364 days, 23 hours, and 58 minutes.” -Klaussie

“We won the game. You get a prize, honey. And here is mine!” -The Fifteenth Doctor

“You did the first good thing of 2023. Now you have 364 days to fuck it up.” -Jay “And you know I will…” -C “Multiple times over.” -Jay

“Looks the same, but all the racehorses are one year older.” -Joe T.

“I think Will’s favorite line is “it feels good to be a gangsta” … every time he helps a perp walk.” -Bing

“On New Year's Eve, everyone says that they support you when you fall. On January 2nd, the only thing that's going to support you when you fall is the floor.” -G.

“ I can smell your throat and want to murder you every moment of the day… Romance.” -Shannon

Gordon: BAD BAD PLANT! Jason: I have to report it to PPS Gordon: PPS? Jason: Plant Protective Services Gordon: He's so bad

“The things I miss when I go to bed at the crack of 10.” -C

“Printer + Edge of Table = Always Trouble.” -Hollywood

“So I've been downgraded from hated to just disliked. That's progress.” -G. “Listen… if you don’t go out and get your Monday… somebody else will.” -Miss Sarah

Gordon: You want to see Scream 5? Carlos: I live in your apartment. I think that movie is not gonna scare me

“All hail the Mighty Pop-Tart!” -Hirsh

Gordon: My plant pooped a $100 Money egg. Chico: Hope you wiped afterward. Gordon: Always

“He showed talent, which disappointed me.” -Jay

“You know these are people you want to work with when we are not just talking about The Joker's Wild, but The BILL CULLEN version of The Joker's Wild.” -G., geeking out. “You’re working with keepers.” -Chico “"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" That's cute and all but have you ever had street tacos while drunk at 2am sold by a nice old Hispanic lady saying "¡Qué lindo! ¡Estás demasiado flaco! ¡Come más!"?” -Kim

“Covid Rica.” -G.

“And now here is your deep thought for a Friday. The first person who ever saw a parrot talk was probably not OK for quite some time afterwards. Think about it.” -Brian

Keep the masks on! -G. I was in the bathroom -Bowler You don't pee through your nose -G.

Get me a ferret or I will cut your balls off - Carlos

I'm pretty sure I didn't intentionally create a User Access Denied page to block me from working -G. ...Or did you? -Boss “FAA had to unplug it and then plug it back in again.” -Heather

“Nothing left to do but throw it out into the universe in the hopes that NMRK course-corrects.” -C

“Listening to country music and sitting on a bed of nails must be similar experiences.” -Sarah

“I’d rather roll in honey butt naked and sprinkle sugar all over myself before jumping on an ant nest the size of a Walmart before ever wanting my baby daddy back. I barely wanted him the first time!” -Jenn

“YouGov paid for my last pair of AirPods, and I’m sure they’ll pay for my next pair as soon as I lose these.” -John Lang, Audit the Audit

“Don't forget the rings. You know what finger they go on, right?” -Carlos “Yes, they are right next to the F*ck You Finger.” -G. “YES! Ha ha ha ha ha ha” -Carlos “Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox Mailbox” -Carlos

“On a side note, I got the lewdle quicker than the wordle, which should surprise no one.” -G.

“O Canada, je suis la jeune fille.” -Statboy “He spoke French, but he’s not French. He’s American!” -Brian

“If you can eat it and like it, I'll be moving towards getting the sponsorship. If it kills you, then I won't.” -G.

“And now the 49ers are in a dire situation at QB… and wait, something’s happening in the stadium tunnel.. good God that’s Colin Kaepernick’s music!” -Mark Ellis

“No one likes Butt-Ass Naked Lanes.” -Panther

“My plant has the munchies.” -G.

“That hairstyle was a choice.” -Brian

“Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff.” -George W.

“We may have a bigger bunch of haterade next week.” -G. “I'll bring the Church Key.” -C

“Can’t play Lingo without my lucky balls.” -RuPaul, host of Lingo

“Come. Let us play night.” -C

“When you’re in the toilet in Scotland, the smell of cow shit and horse shit overpowers the smell that any human can produce.” -Q

“I'm a stay at home pro bowler.” -Charles K. “You're a stay at home cabbage.” -Justin K.

(Watching Meta taking a Dive) JD Witherspoon somewhere is laughing sipping some tea. -G.

“Herb Abrams! HE FAT!” -C “Next time you're about to complain about cancel culture just remember that a man who is currently under investigation for attempting to overthrow the United States government just got cast as like the Happy Li'l Slice o' Cake on The Masked Singer.” -Dave Holmes

“Can a Game Show stop a Civil War?” -Dave Statman

“Nestor Cortes is on the 15-day DL.” -Greg “Oh, that gives him 15 days to go molest somebody.” -Klaussie

“We’ll get started once we figure out what all these wires do!” -Cory

“What the hell is this nonsense?” -Jordan, on a Dook sweater in the Dean Dome

“Not this game show shit again.” -Carlos.

“Let’s take their Chinese balloon money.” -Jay

“Shut the front door!” -Q “The door is firmly shut. And bolted.” -cruise director Lee

“Kath & Kim… and the Power Rangers Razzle Dazzle Show!” -Klaussie

“A mountain is only unclimbable until it’s climbed.” -Q

“It’s only a Champagne Ranger if it comes from the Champagne region of the Morphin Grid.” -somebody re: Russell Curry’s Cosmic Fury costume

“There is no saving throw for bullshit.” -someone at Jay’s D&D.

“If you are showing any foul play, you will be sent to your dressing room. And if it is really dirty, you’ll be sent to mine.” -The Governess

“No spoilers! I don’t want to know how it ends! Oh wait…” -Paul, re: the HQ Trivia doc

“He couldn’t have been more open if he was wearing a neon sign that said ‘Throw it to me, you idiot!’” -Brian

“Tomorrow's going to be a real banner day for Rich People Who Like Wearing Fancy Hats to Things.” -Kit, on May 6

“Applebee’s food is piss. Even the Hooters we have is slightly better.” -Carl “That’s because Hooters piss is $2.50.” -Kim

“Student: "What's that (you're eating)?" Me: "Prosciutto wrapped around mozzarella cheese." Student: "What's prosciutto?" Me: "A kinda-salty, kinda-fatty ham, just like me." Student is dead.” -Klaussie

“That was uncomfortable. I enjoyed it.” -Jay

“I’m not ashamed. I’m a gentleman. There’s a difference.” -C

“This car is on firrrrrrrrreeeeee!” -G

“What is it with animals and me and shit?” -Q

Jay; “yeah that means…” C: “I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS JASON!” -subject; Bad Bunny’s “Titi Me Preguntó”

“Dad humor numbs the pain.” -Swoop

“Who shot Lee Harvey Oswald?” -Quizmaster “THE CIA!” -… somebody.

“K-LOVE… Imagine what would happen if Great American Family was a radio station.” -C

“TL;DR: Arte Moreno is a cheap, money-grubbing piece of shit.” -JVG

“I’m In Denver for a few while I make my connecting flight to Atlanta. And I’m not gonna lie to you the thin air at this altitude is starting to get to me… for starters, I’m beginning to think this unicorn named Sylvia that I’ve been talking to for the last 30 minutes isn’t real.” -Brian

“Ahh Facebook, still can't tell a joke from your own assholes, can you?” -Justin

“The Giants can have a hot chick as a quarterback and still fail to score.” -G

“My brain is not braining right now…” -everyone.

“You can tell the writers are on strike because you’d never put a hurricane and an earthquake in the same episode.” -Buzzy

“Because Pete Davidson is a man-whore, that’s why.” -Tom

“If I have to ride my autodrafted fantasy team’s ass with a known sexual deviant to the finish, so be it!” -Jay

“New York is the greatest city in the world. Toronto isn’t even the greatest city in Canada.” -The Professor

“Swifties could find Emily Miscavage.” -Emily

“WLTI has been brought to you by Outside your Bubble Burst. Watch JD Witherspoon and others notate on the demise of Facebook and Spotify. Very. Very. Slowly.” -G.

“It's a cross between a Jackson Pollack painting and a Quentin Tarantino movie.” -Evil Travis

“They look like rabbits who have been through some shit.” -Caitlin

“Whoever dances to Beauty and the Beast gets an unfair advantage. All they have to do is recreate the ballroom scene. And they get votes! Dance to the Gaston song. Everyone hates Gaston. Turn that into a dance that gets you votes.” -Q

“Have you ever considered using your gifts for good?” -me after Q pretty much nails how to use “Beauty and the Beast” as an advantage on Disney+ Night of Dancing With the Stars.

“Dangerous fluids everywhere.” -Jay, on Megan’s house

“If you work hard as a kid, you will play hard as an adult. If you play hard as a kid, you’ll end up working hard as an adult.” -Q

“Boy Zaxbys just out here saying to hell with all y’all.” -Big Rick

“My plant is bloated.” -Gordon “It needs an enema.” -J Block

“If I wanted a slide, I would have written in a slide!” -Heather

“You cheerin’ like you gon’ git some of this Whammy money. Girl, bye.” -Q getting WAY TOO INTO a Press Your Luck rerun.

“Now I do NOT recommend you do this but…” -Ken “That’s a green light if ever I saw one!” -C

“Look for the Technicolor yeti.” -Erskine

“(In my best Craig Ferguson voice) Did you guys hear the news, apparently, Tom Brady has decided that he’s going to become a minority owner of the Las Vegas Raiders! I know! And the two are very different of course. One of them is a football institution whose fans are some of the most annoying, sycophantic and overbearing in the world of professional sports, who has been hyped up to hell by people despite success eluding them in recent years, and many people are annoyed by how they skate by on previous success despite many recent failures. And the other are the Las Vegas Raiders.” -Brian

“Nobody wants a WEBP file. I repeat: NOBODY wants a WEBP file. WEBP's own mother doesn't want a WEBP file. If WEBP was an ice cream flavor it would be Moist Gym Socks. If they ever make a movie about WEBP it'll star Dane Cook, Amber Heard and a 3D hologram of Richard Nixon. Go away forever, WEBP format.” -Justin

“Bryce Young is ass.” -Daniel

“Viva Mark Mothersbaugh.” -Tommy

“Sometimes it's a W. Sometimes it looks like a W but it's only 2 crooked L's” -Chris 'Strike Tyson' Schenck

“The mystery is… How does Gritty take a piss?” -Klauss “Sam has done something no one has ever done before! They ate at Cook-Out… sober!” -Cody Dove

“Roosevelt won us the war, but Marshall won us the peace.” -Q

“He still has a whole ass empty hand, quit whining sir.” -Rooks

“BTW - this game is going to be as painful as putting your own junk in a vice grip.” -Jay

“Even though this has been a real pain in the…” -Susan “… TUCHUS.” -C

“Everyone in McKinney is dead. It is hot in McKinney.” -Pete Delkus, on a heat index of “101,105”.

“…stank.” -Brian

“‘Yesterday’s price is NOT today’s price.’ -Fat Joe” -Zenith Ranger & dead ringer for Obama Russell Curry

“Hello trouble!” -Sav “Hello trouble!” -Julia

“Duck Mycinko.” -Ben Potter “Brian Bumblepiss.” -Peter Austin “Hot Fresh Science Fox.” -Ben Potter “Ashton Catthews”. -Peter Austin “And… Billy Ray Walrus.” -Both -TripleJump’s Worst Games Ever

“Life’s too short, so don’t waste time on nothing but the good stuff.” -C

“All this talk about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie but no one ever fights about whether The Hunt for Red October is a Halloween movie.” -Cara

“Stairs. They’re the tweaker’s natural enemy.” -C

“Those edibles ain’t shit!” -Christian

"i like a good, firm banana" - @BenHigginsSD

“I am Allstate and you are in good hands!” -Q, with a snap and a head bobble

“I’m going to the loo.” -Zoombelina “Make sure you use the toilet!” -The Boss

“… you guys have any Anacin?” -C “What is this, Bill Cullen’s The Price Is Right?” -Jay

“WHO IS HEATH LEDGER?!” -TJ

“If you've lived in New York, being an a-hole is a requirement.” -G.

“Spam is just pantry wagyu.” -Alvin “Heck of a Hill to Die on But Whatever” Zhou

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” -Danielle “But I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.” -Jordan “But I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” -Danielle “Will someone go to the bathroom?” -C

“I have a shameful confession to make. I get Alan Tudyk and Paul Bettany confused. I'm not proud.” -Jonathan

“Can someone tell me what channel the Taylor Swift game is on?” -Cindy

“Laughing for “Our Lady of Perpetual Tournaments” and because my parents are going to be REJOICING.” -Jenny & Chelsea re: J!

“But Chico…. Chaos is good!” -Q

“I’ve Got a Secret. Hosted by Kanye West. The game no one wants to play.” -G.

“My family now refers to me as Chaos Auntie.” -Wingo

“Day 1 down and no one wants to kill each other. Yet.” -G.

“To be the only carrot in a room full of hungry rabbits.” -Q

“So I went from leaving last night to 3 meetings and a great adventure trip. I completely expect to hear from tbs today and if you've seen everything everywhere all at once I expect my fingers to turn into hot dogs.” -G “So a typical morning then.” -C “Yup.” -G

“What happened in Florida, Whitman?” -Greg

“Third down and Roger Goodell’s penis.” -Jay

“McKeever, McIver, MacGruber, MacGyver. Whatever.” -C, trying to pronounce the name of the actress who plays Sam on “Ghosts”.

“You: “Bowls are meaningless now!” Bowls: “It is now time to sacrifice the mascot so that the victors may enjoy their spoils.”” -Joe Ovies

“We're going back home because the Uber Driver is the worst.” -Carlos (Gordon changes the station) “Who changed my music?” -Carlos “The Worst Uber Driver in the World.” -G.

“That was his throwing ankle!” -Brian

“If you have sex with Godzilla, you'll need more than a pill to protect you...and your city.” -Nikki

“Gonzaga is Gonzarbage.” -Daniel

“Elon is proof that nobody can ever have everything. No matter how rich, powerful, or smart he is, he'll never actually be the one thing he wants to be: funny.” -Chelsea

“Show the buzzer kindness, and the buzzer will respond in kind.” -Ben Ben

“Politics is just show business for ugly people. -some guy idk” -Jonathan “J Aubrey” Aubrey

“… why they always gotta have their shirts off?” -Pierogi “Sampson County smells like Darth Vader’s farts.” -Q

“Carbs oh how I missed you.” -Jay

“$5000 says Cat Stevens gets the chair.” -“Pete Rose”, 2004

“All the trivia nights we’ve been to, and you remember the one where Quisla brought up Pokémon-inspired sex positions.” -C

“I’m just gonna bleep the bitches because it’s funnier.” -Greg

“My sensors are detecting a vibe.” -Alpha 9 (Richard Horvitz)

“Brain Return on Lane 41.” -G.

“The people who watch The Bachelor for drama watch NASCAR for the wrecks.” -Jay

“An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Botswanan, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Puerto Rican, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a Sammarinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar… The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai." You're welcome.” -Blish

“Meetings, meetings, meetings.” -Carlos “Welcome to America, the land of meetings.” -G.

“This April, you will know his name. You may not be able to spell it, but you will know it.” -C re: Brian

“You're full of Moo Poo.” -G.

“The cheek! The nerve! The audacity! The gall! The gumption! The Aggro-Crag-sized global guts on you!” -C

“I'll take dumb people who should be strapped to a nuclear warhead for $1,200, Mayim.” -G.

(Watching Jeopardy) “I hate this shitty program.” -Carlos (Ed: get out)

So playing Jeopardy: Fish or Foul for $200. The Answer: Where Foul Go to stay for the night. The Question: What is Chicken Inn? -G. That’s 🥚-zactly the spirit! -Dave S.

(Quisla eats a basket of French fries while waiting to pay for them…. Then looks at Chico’s basket of fries… which also haven’t been paid for.) Q: “You gonna eat those?” C: “MINE!”

“BEHOLD… THE DECABOX!” -VRM

“And that Travis is getting too much TS lovin’.” -J, re Travis Kelce

“I’m in Dunkin getting a coffee and this lady is trying to start a Christmas Carol singalong. Girl, if you don’t sit your Disney movie ass down somewhere!” -Bruce

“I just saw an ad on NBA TV for a podcast with Ernie Johnson and Charles Barkley. Paraphrasing... Barkley: I want to get an M tattooed on each butt cheek. Johnson: Why? Barkley: If I'm standing up, it says MOM but if I'm standing on my head, it says WOW.” -NBA on TNT

““Callahan! That 34 Oz. Hickory bat you’re swinging is against regulation! In this clubhouse, we do things by the BOOK!”l -Brian, on Willie Stargell looking like every cinematic police chief.

“I’d like to recommend reading the Up With People Wikipedia page as a lesson the subtle art of criticism.” -Muffy

“Can’t spell Dallas without two straight Ls.” -BFG

“Can we stop saying the word ‘buttcheeks’?” -Eli Manning

“Give this man a Sharpie.” -C to Brandy re: new hire, channeling his inner Black Panther.

“‘You sure you don’t want me back?’ I will write it in blood if you need me to.” -Q, re: Jenn’s baby daddy quote

“So apparently I found out that our new son tried to burn down the apartment, which at least would stop you from complaining about how messy it is.” -G.

“Watching this Mar a Lago speech is worse than drinking unflavored Trilyte colonoscopy prep & when you finish the gallon they bring a beer bong w/6 more gallons for you to consume while listening to your uncle w/dementia & halitosis muse about the raging dysentery he had in Korea.” -Mattie Timmer

“$50,000 for a helicopter ride? For $50,000 it better transform into a Gundam.” -C

“Isaiah Pacheco does his shimmy. It drives the women in Kansas City crazy!” -Brian

“What were you doing on your birthday?” -C “Working.” -Q “What was I doing on my birthday?” -C “Working.” -Q “So what are we doing here on vacation?” -C “Talking about working.” -Teddy

“Enjoy Drake Maye stinking it up in Arizona.” -Greg

“Fortune favors the bold. And the chickens who maintain the inn.” -G.

“Muffy Marracco: Helps You Get Drunker By The Hour.” -Muffy

(Planning Bowling matches) “We're matchmakers now as well lol.” -Rudy F. “Which one of us is Tevye?” -G.

(Wearing a brown wig) “It's not TV, It's Wiggyvision.” -Douglas H.

“What oil pattern is this?” -Joe P. “This is the famous Oil of Olay pattern.” -G.

“Let’s rush’em! They can’t stop all of us!” -Q

(After getting Jasser a sandwich instead of what he wanted) I ask for Chetos. You get me a sandwich - Jasser Chetos in Spanish means Cheetos. It does not mean Sandwich -G. Si -Jasser (scowling) “The Word of the Day is Banhammer.” -Nick G.

So you want a little of everything -G. Yes. I want a smorgasbourg. I want a Smorg. -Lauren R.

“I have no idea what is going on, and I am here for it anyways!” -Carl K.

“Man, I REALLY hate those Pfizer ads…” -Ian

“I got nothing, but hey, I’ve got a lot of it!” -Jill

“Hi Ted, Ron here. Listen, I know how tempting it is to appeal to the real lowest form of humanity here in the United States, the bottom feeders, people who pride themselves on hatred and un-education and inability to read and inability to understand the difference between true patriotism and the bulls*** you’re selling. I know how tempting it is to play to those people, because at least you have a base, but Jesus Christ Ted, for somebody with a really, really small d***, you get to be a bigger p***k every f****** day. Go f*** yourself.” -Ron Perlman to Ted Cruz.

“Is Austin Reaves the best undrafted player of all time?” -somebody on Twitter. “Ben Wallace won Defensive Player of the Year four times and is the reason Kobe & Shaq didn’t win four. This app needs an age limit.” -Somebody else on Twitter

“Do I want to sleep to Special Forces or do I want to sleep to Baltimore/Cincinnati?” -G

“Wanna try street hockey?” -Jordan “I gotta pee first.” -C

“Somebody hit somebody!” -Brian

“I am about ready to trade Drew Lock for a reconstituted and reanimated Sean Lock. It could scarcely be any worse.” -Evil Travis

“Debate: Does Yoda sound more like Grover or Miss Piggy?” -Dane

“NFL uses CONFUSION! It’s super effective!” -Tom

“This is how riots begin.” -Robin

“Hey! Tom Brady… We don’t believe you.” -Jay

“That man is gonna move to the Triangle and bring every convo you have with him back to the fact he’s from New York and that you can’t find any good takeout around here.” -Joe Ovies, re: Tommy DeVito

“Programming note… the CFP show will air upon the conclusion of the basketball game featuring Fuck U and Tossoff State.” -C

The most frustrating part of hoping to get a phone call from a number you don't know: You have to answer EVERY call and suffer through every robocall and solicitation. -Sonic Whammy I'm sending you every single Car Insurance Warrantee call that comes my way, just to let you know 😃 -G. Gordon Pepper I'm touched -Sonic Whammy

“Latte - $5.00. Bottle of Water: $40.” -Richard Barone

“Quisla, stop turning off the television!” -C

“No… also no.” -Victoria “The Queen” Groce

Give these steps a go for me please -Worker Doing that now...I'm getting a picture of an apple and no loading bar -G. If you’re still holding the keys you can let go and see if the loading bar appears after -Worker Nope. Still the apple menacing me lol. Thoughts? -G. You mind sending me your Mac serial number? You should see it in very very tiny print on the back -Worker If you tell me that It's a demon MAC possessed by goblins and I need to leave the house immediately. I could believe that -G. At this point I think that’s the only logical conclusion -Worker

“Predetermined Bullshit. The latest fragrance from Calvin Klein.” -C

“The first steel coaster was opened in 18-rickety-dickety-doo.” -Chris aka Airtime Thrills

“I don't follow enough sports to properly complete this joke but "[INSERT FOOTBALL TEAM HERE] is looking as useless as a back button on Facebook today".” -Terry

“This song has an instruction to "Think Dolly" and feels the need to explain who Dolly Parton was. HOW DARE YOU. I blame the young people.” -Heather

I need Chicken -Jasser

“Lydia’s animated. Quisla’s animated. Get’em together, it’s the Cartoon Network.” -C

Ezra Miller, who was a contestant on Jack Black's 'Jablinski Games', is playing a new game called 'Why am I in your Bedroom?' -G.

“Great effin’ job, Al, on that call with all the enthusiasm as watching a janitor mop the floor at McDonald’s at 3 in the morning.” -Greg

“So I just had a rep from SiriusXM call me to sell me radio. I bought a new car recently. Of course it comes with a 3-month trial, and I love it. I try to explain to her that I work in REAL radio, terrestrial radio, local radio, actual RADIO radio. She’s trying to tell me how streaming is so much better… THAN WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING! ….bitchgetoffmyphone!”- Miss Sarah

“Fancy hotel shower.” -Q

“I’m a benevolent quiz overlord… not like those bastards at Jeopardy!” -Buzzy

“i look forward to everyone in my hometown reacting to this in a completely civil manner, with no anger whatsoever!” -Jordan

“Barnacles.” -Paul

“I don't like strikes. They are bad for you.” -G. “Just make your spares, Gordon.” -DouglasVision

“Gordon bowls? I've never seen Gordon bowl.” -Brandon B.

“I take one whiff downwind of the cafeteria and I thank every god in the multiverse that I have brought my lunch today.” -C

“We’re putting a helmet on RJ.” -Jordan

“I can't make strikes!” -G. “We know you can't make strikes. There's something wrong with Gordon.” -Douglasvision

“You broke him, Kimberly.” -C “Sucks to suck.” -Kim

“In addition to a quote wall, I think a wall of AI images is needed. The world needs 7-finger McLean Stevenson.” -Klaussie

(Carlos walks in) Gordon: I'm teaching Jasser English. Carlos: eh? Gordon: Agua Jasser: Water Gordon: Leche Jasser: Milk Carlos: My turn. Gordon: Ok Carlos: Fuck me in the Bathroom Gordon: (Faceplant) Carlos: Fuck me in the kitchen Gordon: Jasser, no digate nada Carlos: Pierro is a Cum Whore Jasser: Pierro is a Cum whore Gordon: (Faceplant) Jasser: Que? Carlos: Pierro gusta luche para mi chorizo a se boca Jasser: Ah Pierro: Jasser, repita por favor: Carlos is a nasty bitch Jasser: Carlos is a nasty bitch Gordon: Dios mio.

“Plot twist: the cat is the actual "Person of the Year". So all the haters can quit their seething now, kthnxbye...” -Dane

“The real Daily Doubles are the friends we made along the way.” -Emily

“Friday is Leg Day, as in put those legs to work by getting 3 dozen donuts.” -Klaussie

“I'm mad Gordon cashed in the tournament. (Bleep)” -Douglasvision

“I regret emotional investment.” -everyone experiencing disappointment and having seen Strange Planet.

“You needed to be here to ride coasters with Danielle because that's a hell no from me.” -Jordan

“Bobby Hill is a Disney Princess confirmed.” -Chelsea

“(The Shark Tank Sharks’) ‘success rate' at funding successful companies is at best comparable to the batting average of below-average baseball players. They get lucky and confuse it with acumen.” -David B.

“Riverside, motherfucker!” -Carl

“I’m sorry, but even inside a store… With the factory seal still on… I refuse to believe there’s cookies in this tin. And my therapist wonders why I have trust issues.” -Brian, on Royal Dansk cookies

“Ending of UNC vs. UVA providing drama on @thecw I haven't seen since Gossip Girl went off the air.” -Joe O.

“Nick Adams, YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK!” -Tom

“The Titans wearing throwback Oilers uniforms against Houston feels so wrong.” -Jay O’Brien “Peak petty.” -LaKedra

“I’m on pins and needles to see if you bought this!” -Jess, re: Brian’s Danish cookies

“I would’ve been better if the person I was bowling was a righty like myself. But noooooo Gordon Pepper was on a better side. The left side. The not so used side. Good job Pepper. Hope you take home the cheddar as in Moola.” -Elijah B.

“The internet was doing so well with the submarine memes, and then I saw that.” -Klaussie, re: Dunkaccino

“I don’t know but whatever it is, it’s covered in cheese.” -C, on breakfast casseroles

“Makumba!” -Carlos

“"Well, it's-- Ah, you wouldn't be interested. It's too lowbrow." "No...I'm QUITE lowbrow."” -Brian

“This is a pretty blue car...” -Car Insurance Agent. “Well it was a pretty blue car. Now it's a pretty blue accordion.” -G.

“If Bob Iger were to purchase the WWE, it would make it officially a Mickey Mouse organization.” -Klauss

“Fook.” -G.

“I am officially "ooh, who knew LL Bean had such nice things" years old.” -Wingo

Why are the lanes so dry? Who oiled them? -Bradley E. It was supposed to be the Tin Man from Oz, but he needed the oil more -G. That explains everything -Bradley E.

“Interesado -Mike D.

“I try not to take too much stock on what people say on social media because Twitter is the mark of the Beast and I refuse to go to Hell for my job.” -C

“I apologize for being over-the-top obnoxious. I only wanted to be semi-obnoxious but I got carried away.” -G.

“No money, no honey.” -Jasser

From the creators of 'Why am I in your bedroom?' comes the new game show called 'Why am I hitting you with a chair?' -G.

May we all strive to be 😎 better than Ezra. - Doug M.

“My commencement speech: if you're a gorgeous 20-something... get you some ugly friends. B/c their reality is your future. You need to prepare for a time when you're not getting all the world's favors. Now I'm not saying these friends need to be butt ugly. But they need to be avg enough that they've had to a) develop layered personality b) have some shrewd sense of how to operate in the world c) been mistreated enough that they have thicker skin d) have perseverance and know how to bounce back from the world judging them by their book cover. We all get less attractive as time goes on, but do you have a beauty retirement plan? As I get older I'm meeting more and more former playboys and faded hotties who are bitter, confused, and totally unprepared for not getting the free drink from the bartender and the extra guac on their taco. They didn't have a beauty retirement plan, and it's rough out there. Bikini cute is just a short minute. But the future always belongs to the plain-looking, middle child wearing boxers and New Balance sneakers. Look at Silicon Valley, look at DC, look at who runs the world. It isn't Fabio.” -Aurin S.

“We need to go to Fright Fest so I can feed you to the zombies.” -G.

"In 2020, Madison Cawthorn became the youngest Republican elected to Congress in American history. In 2022, he became the youngest Republican to lose re-election to Congress in American history," -Ben Collins

“Stop acting like a psychotic Oompa Loompa.” -G.

“I’m doling out truth bombs! Who wants to get blown?!” -C

“FAT FUCK MAGIC!” -Jay re: the Detroit Lions

“Chatting on Facebook - is that part of the work you do?” -Carlos “Why yes. Yes it is”. -G.

“Quisla Quisla Quisla Quisla… the vacation… begins in your mind… before you EVAH leave the house.” -C

“Guess who blew me off for Valentine's Day.” -Lisa D “I'd rather he blew you.” -G.

“Put your pants on, Chico. We’re getting a car.” -Quisla

Carlos: I made like 500 usd for 10 years of service Gordon: You'd make more in New York for 10 hours of service.

“Holy Hannah!” -Klauss

(Points to the Special K Box) - Now this is a real cereal -Carlos You're only saying that because there's a giant cock on the box -G. (Carlos stares at the box. Gives the finger)

There was a United Nations summit in Central Park -G. How many delegates -Ben T. Enough for 6 continents. And stenographers -G.

“Better send those refunds.” -Joe Burrow

(Walks into Carlos watching the X-Men in Spanish) OOh! Is this the X-Men? -G. Noooooo, It's Porn -Carlos (Points to Nightcrawler) It's not just his tail that's long and pointy -G.

“Waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure.” -Jay

“I’m leaving this in as punishment to myself.” -C

“If it was Tom Brady or anyone on the Cowboys, Skip would want the season cancelled.” -best. Comment. Ever.

“Fragile ego. Fragile body. Weak mind. Weak spirit.” -Jon Moxley

“I don’t miss.” -Jessica

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then... you're doing things you've never done before and more importantly, you're Doing Something.” -NEIL GAIMAN

“In hindsight, I preferred it when Will Smith’s love interests just vanished with no explanation or sense of closure.” -Adam

“Aren’t you supposed to call a doctor if your election lasts this long?” -Daniel

“Every time I hear a government official describe Russia's invasion of Ukraine as "an imperialist land grab" I'm like "oh, so you do know what that means..."” -Wingo

“I vow to be a cleaner MK in 2023. And when that's busted at 12:10 AM on 1/1/23, I'll be back to my usual raunchy, ribald self.” -Klaussie

“I’m not that good! I’m just the best at… fucking.. TRYING! I’m the best at fucking trying.” -C

“When you eat a poop sandwich, but the bread is terrific. Then you go to the restaurant and get the same sandwich with different bread.” -G

“Take the last two off the year sign and shove it up the ass of an elephant. Someone gimme that 3.” -Carl

“Yes, we all know MTV used to play music. It’s time to let it go.” -Josh

“Why don’t you force an answer out of yourself for a change?” -C

“When I said, “South Carolina is so pretty—we should spend more time here,” I didn’t mean driving the entire state at 35 MPH.” -Clay

“I finally get Taskmaster.” -C

“A clown’s average yearly salary is $40,000-$50,000. And here you are being one for free.” -Anneke

“And remember.. you can’t spell ‘similar to but legally distinct from’ without TEMU.” -C

“Hi good morning it’s Monday it’s foggy but it’s warm enough to sit outside I already took an everything shower and scrubbed off every skin cell that was present in 2022 and moisturized from head to toe so I’m a newborn baby glazed donut girlie with clear hair love you ok bye.” -Shannon

“PUT THAT… IN YOUR COMIC BOOK… AND SMOKE IT!” -Joe O

“It’s better than buying the new Blad Bhabie single. And for the Americans who do not understand that reference…. Ignorance is bliss, my friends. Ignorance is bliss.” -The Right Opinion

“GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!” -C whenever Jay says something remotely profane. Which happens once every…day. === And goodnight everybody...everybody. Come together, just think of tomorrow. :)

2 notes · View notes

chezzywezzy · 2 years

Text

Writing Schedule (all requests) ;

The following is the list (IN ORDER OF WHEN THEY'LL BE PUBLISHED), including some that I just want to write for myself and I know y'all will enjoy. The rules are you CAN VOTE IN THE COMMENTS TO MOVE IT UP THE LIST. Every ONE VOTE moves it up ONE SPOT.

This list can be found LINKED IN MY MASTERLIST whenever.

Enjoy!

The Invitation UwU

Jerry fright night

Fezco (bywie)

Forty (my bestie uwu)

Harley Quinn (animefan bestie)

Labyrinth

Jace Wayland (jamie version) (for funsies!)

Nacho (365 days 2 & 3 LOL IM SORRY)

Mummy

Michael Meyers

DBD Danny (emeraldborealis)

Deadpool

Eddie Gluskin (sweetp)

Noes Quentin (wheatybread)

Spiderman (Andrew Garfield cuz he’s hot ig?)

Edward Cullen (greenxtea0)

Brahms “pt 2”

Scarecrow (who tf is this)

Ironman

Optimus Prime

Imhotep (mummy)

Superman x r x Batman

Peter Maximoff (who tf is this)

RE8 Chris

Hellboy (horrorfan-666-anoynmous)

Jason Vorheese

Pyramid Head “pt 2”

Joe Goldberg pt 2

Wolverine x r x Scout (xmen I think?)

Erik Lensher (also xmen I think?)

Superman

Batman x r x Terry (who tf is this)

Raul de León x r x Javier Williams (control z)

Platon Bat/Catfam x r x platonic Joker

Ninja turtles (axolotl mutant sister) (platonic? I guess? Idk)

Other Mother

Batman (poison ivy r)

Edward Scissorhands

Stephen Strange (is that doctor strange? probably?)

DBD Trickster

Redhood x r x Batman (who tf is this)

Derek (teen wolf)

Winter Soldier x r x Captain America (who are either of these hoes?)

Bigby Wolf (wolf amogus)

Platonic Cullens (werewolf r)

Ghost Rider lmao (megamindsushyygushywap)

RE8 Big Booba lady x r x Ethan (wife)

Andy (little shop of horrors)

Candyman

Goliath (gargoyles)

Predator

Bubba Sawyer

Alien x r x Predator

Leprechaun

Hannibal

Loki x r x Thor (who tf are these hoes)

Hellsing x r x Dracula

Gerald (witcher)

Them supernatural hoes, dean or some shit

Silco x r x platonic jynx

Chucky x r x Tiffany

DBD Huntress

Anakin Skywalker

Jacob Black

Anabella

Jurassic Park (wife-of-yandere-dc)

Mandelorian x r x platonic bb Yoda

Big Daddy pt 2

Otto (spiderman) (honey-beeuwu) (who tf is this)

ON HOLD : Arthur (moon knight) (cat bby)

ON HOLD : Khonshu

ON HOLD : Cedric Diggory (cool Hufflepuff r)

ON HOLD : Calux (truth or dare)

ON HOLD : Klaus (umbrella academy)

ON HOLD : Tommy Shelby (peaky blinders)

ON HOLD : Miles Fairchild (youngstarfish friend)

77 notes · View notes

cullen-by-choice · 2 years

Text

First Impressions

‘Healing Supersitions’ Fic Masterlist

Carlisle Cullen X Fem!OC

1/?

Warnings and Tags: Some Language, Aesthetic Appreciation, Forks is Small, Injury and Healing

Notes for this universe: This is also partially a Fix It Au. The Cullens aren’t gonna be pretending to be high school students, and while Carlisle is sort of the head of the clan, he isn’t portrayed as anyones father. (Though he may be Daddy.) Carlisle is also not with Esme here and are portrayed as siblings.

She didn’t care what anyone said. Carlisle Cullen was not only a recently graduated medical student.

Something was off. Fishy. Elise Dumont took a drag of her cigarette, staring up at the cloudy sky. The town of Forks was under a damn near constant drizzle, and if not, then covered in clouds. People there always rubbed shoulders, tangling each others noses into drama. The smallest affair was a scandal. Bored eyes tended to create stories.

Elise Dumont wondered if she was one of them, this time.

The new doctor entering residency had alerted their sleepy eyed community. A new family- all graceful and alarming. Nothing like the overzealous performative warmth that these people here had.

She for sure knew she was intrigued. She glanced down at her finger, rubbing over the raised skin there.

Ten days prior, Elise had made a mistake with harvesting her herbs. Her garden sheers were far too dull to be used. She knew it. Still did it anyway.

Suppose that was why blood was spilling all over her shirt as she had rushed herself to the Forks’ doctor office. No matter what she used to heal herself, it wouldn’t make the wound close. She had to get stitches.

Oh, how she loathed not being able to do it all.

She had simpered into the building. The receptionist, Jessica Stanley, was immediately on her feet, “Oh my Gosh, Elise. What did you do to yourself this time?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” she waved her uninjured hand. The stinging, almost nauseating pain from the other clouded her mind. Yeah. She couldn’t even heal herself right now if she tried.

“Well, Jesus, let’s get you back there. You’re lucky we’re slow right now.”

Elise answered with a nod- yeah, yeah, it’s not like this place was ever busy anyway.

The walk back to the observation tables was alarming. The whole place covered in a stale, pale pastel colors made her calm down a tad. Nothing too interesting to see, after all. A few people in here like her- hurting themselves on accident. She had been back here a time or two. It almost felt natural.

She sat down upon her assigned table, legs hanging over the bench.

“Well, stay put and try not to embarass yourself, yeah? I got to get back to work,” the receptionist rolled her eyes.

“I love your confidence in me,” Elise said to her retreating back.

The slight beeping was the only thing in the room heard.

Jessica then paused, turning around, “You got the new doctor, by the way.”

“New doctor?”

The young woman’s eyes widened, walking towards her, “You’re telling me you haven’t seen any of the new people in town?” When Elise shook her head no, Jessica scoffed, “You are in for a treat. They’re all siblings- and gorgeous.” The last word came out in a hushed tone.

Elise sighed. Jess was dating Mike Newton- the man was great and all, but he tended to look a bit plain for her own tastes. She doubted this doctor was anything different.

“They moved into their grandparent’s estate in the woods, this big beautiful-“

Jessica’s eyes flickered over the injured woman’s shoulder. Her posture immediately straightened. Elise looked back as well.

Well… holy shit. Jessica had taste this time.

This man was beautiful. This marble skin glistened under boring fluorescents. Haunted eyes.Not a face you would find in a magazine at all, despite everything. His hawklike gaze cut into them as he approached, giving a smile that Scott F. Fitzgerald would’ve praised.

This was the type of man you wouldn’t find in the magazines, but in some romantic, invigorating piece of art.

Elise had to remind herself that she always was a sucker for aesthetic, and to get it together.

Her mouth finally shut as the doctor approached.

“Hello, Miss…?”

His voice was liquid amber.

“This is Elise Dumont,” Jessica chirped in, all too helpful.

His gentle gaze swept over to Jessica, who reddened a tad in response. He then went back to his patient at hand, his smile containing that same, breathtaking charm.

“I’m Dr. Cullen, Miss Dumont. It looks like you got yourself pretty good there. Mind if I look?”

Elise could do nothing but nod. Jess dismissed herself with a secret wink.

He worked deftly- a sort of precision she hadn’t felt from a traditional medical doctor. It had more heart to it- the calm and steady movements, the concern in his touch. He checked in on her time to time. His hands were icy, but when weren’t doctors ice cold?

“You seem to be handling this well,” he had said, keeping his eyes on her wound as he made his stitches.

“It’s a regular day for me,” she said, deciding against shrugging at that moment. For obvious reasons.

He nodded, finishing off another knot, “You seem like you know how to find trouble fine, then.”

Her cheeks went hot. Those words were playful. Playful... She cleared her throat, “My family has always said so.”

“Strange. Mine seems to share the same sentiment, time to time.”

She watched as he started on the next. His movements went smooth, the fine structure of his knuckles distracting her.

He had said something. Don’t make this awkward.

“You’re new in town, yeah?”

He paused, then nodded, “Guess you could say so. I haven’t been back here since I was much younger.”

“Same, actually. I moved back about two years ago.”

“Back, huh?”

She found herself talking. It was odd- all those days of tight lipped small talk had seemed to mean nothing at this moment. “My mom grew up here. When she passed, Dad couldn’t stand the sight of this place anymore.”

“Does he still feel that way?”

“It’d be pretty hard for him to feel anything.”

He paused. As he looked up, she felt the slight shame cross his eyes, “I’m… I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware-“

“No one is. No harm done.”

He nodded, clearing his throat, “Well I’m glad.” His golden brown eyes shone in the lights around them. Man. It was out of this world how dreamy his gaze was.

She kept her composure the best she could through the rest of the session.

In the present, Elise put out her cigarette, gazing over her finger once more. She had to get the stitches out in a few days- she dreaded the interaction.

He had been so striking. Something had to give.

What was there under the surface?

She chalked the hunger to know up to mere curiosity. It wasn’t a complete lie.

In the parking lot of the local bookstore was empty- she went there on her breaks. Or when it was slow. Which is was, and quite often. It’s not like she couldn’t afford it.

The rain trickled down. The constant buzz of the water kept her brain calm.

That and the nicotine.

Elise blew out a plume of smoke, watching the street across the way.

The door to the boutique opened across the way, revealing the source of her newest obsession.

Two of the Cullens walked out of the shop. They moved with grace, as if the choreography ebbed with each member.

A smaller woman approached first. She was striking. Her pixie cut was sharp enough to pierce a passerby. Her angular face surveyed the land before he— like she had seen it all before, and knew the steps by heart. Alice Cullen- the most unnerving of the whole family. Elise had made that distinction after passing her by the other day.

Her boyfriend, Jasper Hale, followed close. He always seemed to be on the edge of some sort of pain. Over the two times Elise had seen him, he had this sort of twist to his lip. One that reeked with disgust, that he would rather be doing anything else. Despite that soft, golden messy hair and sharp features, he looked offputting. His gaze was softer with his love, of course. Even then, as he gazed down at the much shorter woman, he looked like he would take a knee with no complaint. Elise tore her eyes away from the intimate moment.

She took another drag of her cigarette.

Elise knew only a handful of things about the illustrious family. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmet and Edward were the core siblings. Their family used to live in this town years and years ago- fifty years. No Cullen had stepped foot in this part of Washington for eons. Until they came back. The Hales- Jasper and Rosalie- were the partners to Alice and Emmet.

Carlisle had graduated from medical school, and was serving a residency here. It was odd his whole family joined- but Elise had no family to draw comparison to. Some families liked to be around each-other, and she had forgotten that long ago…

“I don’t know whether to reprimand you about the smoking, or ask about your hand.”

Elise straightened her shoulders, looking back. Carlisle stood, smiling. The soft blue material of his shirt draped across his shoulders, the planes of his muscles hinted. Man…

Holy shit, Elise, stop ogling the guy. Talk. Anything!

”The smoking is a habit I plan to break, Doctor. Pinky promise.”

”Hell of a promise to put on an injured finger,” he joked, his smile subtle and soft.

Right. She glanced back down at her hand. It was healing nice- if not a bit itchy here and there. “Hey, it’s better now,” she protested.

He hummed, moving around the bench she sat on.

”May I?” he asked, holding out his hand. His fingers were even more elegant out of the latex gloves.

She nodded without a word, giving her palm to him.

His fingers were still cold. She noticed they had been as chilled as before. The feel of his skin was immaculate- like pressing your cheek to a window on a winter day. He turned her wrist this way and that, observing his work. He gave a different kind of grin, one that reached his eyes. She had a hard time looking away.

He met her eyes. The honey in his gaze made her breath hitch. That type of look- one that felt some intimate and real. One she had the urge to squirm away from… and to.

Elise had to know. Anything. Something that could explain why she knew he was more than ordinary.

“You seem to be healing well. Nice to know someone follows a doctor’s advice.”

”I do my best, Dr. Cullen,” was her only response. If there was something that Elise knew, it was that she took the healing process serious.

His smile spread wider, going to speak-

Elise couldn’t even process when the new presence when it got there- only that it was there.

Ah. The gloomiest face of the Cullens was standing next to them, gaze solemn. Did the guy know how to smile? Edward Cullen seemed content to scowl, or look miserable. She had seen him around town scarcely- only once before now.

His eyes focused on her for a moment, then Carlisle, “I hate to interrupt.”

No he didn’t. She could feel it— something in the air was tense.

Carlisle sighed, giving his brother a look,. The doctor gesture to Elise, “I was just speaking with-“

The other man didn’t seem to much care that there was another person in the vicinity, “We need to be getting home soon.”

The blonde man clenched his jaw.

Edward kept a plain, bored expression, “We have to get back home for our camping trip.”

Elise blinked. Suppose the weather was supposed to turn this afternoon…. It might’ve been a good time to camp. But in all that mud… and with it almost getting to be bear season…

She could sense a lie. Something was off.

She felt Ed flex next to her.

Carlisle sighed, nodding down to Elise, “I’m sorry to cut off our conversation so shortly, Miss Dumont.”

“Call me Elise. Don’t worry about it,” she gave her own sort of smile.

She watched the pair of men walking away. Blonde and red headed- both tall. Both graceful. They glided over to the Jeep. It was kept in immaculate condition, and as were the people were slipping inside.

Something was off about the Cullens.

Elise wasn’t just gonna let it become speculation. She had to know.

~~~

#fanfiction #twilight #twilight Stephanie myer #Carlisle Cullen #x oc #Cullen #at this point I’m just effervescent #new moon #eclipse #breaking Dawn

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visionsofmagic · 2 years

Text

⎯ stories with song lyrics [requests are open/a request post]

Explanation: I was thinking about writing stories with some song lyrics I am in love with. Below, you can see these lyrics [some will be added as well from time to time] and characters/people’s name that I like and can write stories about them. So, you can message or ask me with a lyric [or more than one] and a specific character/person [it can be two character at one time a well]. Then, I will write it. ^^ Feel free to add your own imagination as well. Also, you don’t have to use lyrics to ask a requests.

Stories can be one-shorts, series, headcanons.

important notes: i really want to write about jk, tae [from bts], peter parker, wanda maximoff, and bucky barnes [from marvel], bats [from dc]. so, this ones will come sooner because i already have some ideas about them with some of these lyrics. so, you can request it as well or you can wait me for to write this without any request. ^^

྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾ ྾

↬ for example: “I want to read a story about Jungkook with 1st song lyric.”

[or] “I want to read a story about steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes with 41st song lyric.”

[or] “I want to read a story about peter parker with 9th and 45th song lyrics.”

Warnings for requests: please identify what gender you want it to be; female reader or male reader and please describe what you want to read, so, I can really understand your wishes. ^^ [also, it can be an original character as you wish, will created by me of course.]

◆ Characters/People

⌑ dc ⌑

Bruce Wayne/Batman [every version of him, especially robert p.], Clark Kent/Superman, John Constantine [movie version]

⌑ marvel ⌑

Steve Rogers/Captain America, Peter Parker/Spiderman [tom h. and andrew g. versions], Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier, Loki, Thor, Wanda Maximoff/The Scarlett Witch, Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Stephen Strange/Doctor Strange

⌑ tv series ⌑

The Boys (2019-) Billy Butcher, Homelander, Soldier Boy, Queen Maeve

The Sandman (2022-) Morpheus/Dream/The Sandman, Corinthian/Nightmare

⌑ movies, movie series ⌑

Star Wars (not specific movie) Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, Obi Wan Kenobi [tv series’ version as well]

Uncharted (2022) Nathan Drake - also game version too.

Twilight (all of them) Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen

In time (2011) Raymond Leon

American Psycho (2001) Patrick Bateman

John Wick (whole series) John Wick

The Prestige (2006) Alfred Borden

⌑ idols, actors, actresses ⌑

bts [especially jk & tae], chris evans, elizabeth olsen, sebastian stan, tom hiddlestion, tom holland, chris evans, robert pattinson

◆ Lyrics

1. A little bit older. A black leather jacket. A bad reputation. Insatiable habits. He was onto me, one look and I couldn't breathe. Yeah, I said, “If you kiss me, I might let it happen.” ▸my oh my, camila cabello [m]

2. Our secret moments in your crowded room. They've got no idea about me and you. & Say my name and everything just stops. I don't want you like a best friend. Only bought this dress so you could take it off▸dress, taylor swift [m]

3. I'm not here for games. I told you what it is, you chose to stay, oh. Baby, you chose the pain. 'Cause you don't know me, you just know my name, oh ▸renegade, aaryan shah [dark theme]

4. You don't know what you did, did to me. Your body lightweight speaks to me▸under the influence, chris brown

5. Please understand that I'm trying my hardest. My head's a mess but I'm trying regardless. Anxiety is one hell of a problem▸consume, chase atlantic [angst]

6. Bend it over slow 'cause daddy I know how you like it. Backseat of the 'Rari pullin' over just to ride it. Make you get down on your knees. Can't always havе what you please. This bitch ain't comin' for free & you know I carry a knife. You should be scared for your life. 'Cause you know I don't play nice▸oh mami, chase atlantic ft. maggie lindemann [m]

7. Don't worry, my hands. They're only warm for you. If I'm ruining you right now. Please forgive me. Because I can't live without you▸pied piper, bts

8. Someone told me stay away from things that aren't yours. But was he yours, if he wanted me so bad? Pacify her. She's getting on my nerves. You don't love her. Stop lying with those words.▸pacify her, melanie martinez

9. And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me". I can't help this awful energy. God damn right, you should be scared of me. Who is in control? ▸control, halsey [villain vibe]

10. There's parts of me I cannot hide. I've tried and tried a million times. Cross my heart and hope to die. Welcome to my darkside▸darkside, neoni [villain vibe]

11. And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight. But my hands been broken one too many times. So I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude. Words they always win, but I know I'll lose▸another love, tom odell [angst]

12. Terribly like terrible, she's the villain. One as sweet as caramel, she's my saint. Think I'm getting butterflies, but it's really. Something telling me to run away▸inferno, bella poarch & sub urban

13. I could be a better boyfriend than him. I could do the shit that he never did. Up all night, I won't quit. Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him. I could be such a gentleman. Plus all my clothes would fit▸boyfriend, dove cameron [from this lyrics, I am getting a big vibe of wanda x f!reader, so, you know what I mean]

14. I keep forgetting I should let you go. But when you look at me. The only memory is us kissing in the moonlight▸can’t remember to forget you, shakira & rihanna

15. Yeah, we danced on tabletops, and we took too many shots. Think we kissed, but I forgot last Friday night▸last friday night, katy perry

16. Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right. Lord, save me, my drug is my baby. I'll be usin' for the rest of my life ▸don’t blame me, taylor swift

17. Call me in the morning to apologize. Every little lie gives me butterflies. Something in the way you're looking through my eyes. Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive▸teeth, 5sos

18. Six feet tall and super strong. We'd always get along. Alright, alright. Ooh, he'd pick me up at eight. And not a minute late. 'Cause I don't like to wait, no. Kind and ain't afraid to cry. Or treat his mama right. That's right, that's what I like▸guy.exe, superfruit [fluff]

19. I'm in love with a fairytale. Even though it hurts. 'Cause I don't care if I lose my mind. I'm already cursed▸bad blood, taylor swift [note for this one; I added these part but I will write with whole lyrics because this song’s every lyric is amazing for an au, or a love story]

20. And you're startin' to bore me, baby. Why'd you only call me when you're high?▸why’d you only call me when you’re high?, arctic monkeys [protective or possessive vibe]

21. But you didn't have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened. And that we were nothing. And I don't even need your love. But you treat me like a stranger. And that feels so rough▸somebody that i used to know, gotye

22. Right now, I'm shameless. Screamin' my lungs out for ya. Not afraid to face it. I need you more than I want to▸shameless, camila cabello

23. We laugh together, we cry together. These simple feelings were everything I had. When will it be?. If I see you again. I will look into your eyes. And say, "I missed you"▸still with you, jungkook

24. She said, "Fuck me like I'm famous", I said, "Okay"▸slow down, chase atlantic [m]

25. You're too late. Had your girlfriend at my house for two days. Should be obvious, the reason she stayed with me▸too late, chase atlantic [m]

26. Where have you been? Do you know when you're coming back? 'Cause since you've been gone. I've got along but I've been sad▸reflections, the neighbourhood [angst]

27. And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime. And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine.▸dandelions, ruth b. [fluff]

28. You'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you. You'll never know the murderer sitting next to you. You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?" But after all I've said, please don't forget ▸heathens, twenty one pilots [dark theme, like mafia au]

29. But mama I'm in love with a criminal. And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical.▸criminal, britney spears [this one is like mafia au too]

30. Oh, dear diary, I met a boy. He made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart. Welcome to the life of Electra Heart.▸ bubblegum bitch, marina

31. Come on, don't be silly. I beg of you, stop. I'm sure that he doesn't reflect. What he really is▸ainsi bas la vida, indila [dark theme]

32. I can't be your Superman. Can't be your Superman & Don't get me wrong, I love these hoes. It's no secret everybody knows. Yeah, we fucked, bitch, so what? That's about as far as your buddy goes & I never loved you enough to trust you. We just met and I just fucked you▸superman, eminem [so much homelander vibe]

33. You think I'm crazy, you think I'm gone. So what if I'm crazy? All the best people are. And I think you're crazy too, I know you're gone. That's probably the reason that we get along▸mad hatter, melanie martinez [dark theme]

34. I'm tired of being home alone. Used to have a girl a day. But I want you to stay. ▸ lost in the fire, the weekend [playboy vibe]

35. We found each other. I helped you out of a broken place. You gave me comfort. But falling for you was my mistake.▸ call out my name, the weekend

36. Give it to me daddy, that's what she keeps screamin'. Give it to me daddy, She love the way I beat it.& Lights down low, time to get naughty. ▸lights down low, maejor ft. waka flocka flame [m]

37. You can say what you like, don't say I wouldn't die for you. I, I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God. Be my help, be a savior who can.▸ train wreck, james arthur [angst, mainly]

39. We used to be close, but people can go. From people you know to people you don't. And what hurts the most is people can go. From people you know to people you don't ▸ people you know, selena gomez

38. One: Don't pick up the phone. You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone

Two: Don't let him in, you'll have to kick him out again

Three: Don't be his friend. You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the mornin'

And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him.▸new rules, dua lipa

40. Saw you there and I thought. "Oh, my God, look at that face. You look like my next mistake. Love's a game, wanna play?" ▸blank space, taylor swift

41. I know I can treat you better than he can. And any girl like you deserves a gentleman. Tell me, why are we wasting time. On all your wasted crying. When you should be with me instead? ▸ treat you better, shawn mendes [love triangle vibe]

42. Only love can hurt like this. Must have been a deadly kiss & But every time you're there I'm begging you to stay. When you come close I just tremble. And every time, every time you go. It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul▸only love can hurt like this, paloma faith

43. I heard from a friend of a friend. That that dick was a ten out of ten ▸ need to know, doja cat [m]

44. Evil, I've come to tell you that she's evil, most definitely. Evil, ornery, scandalous and evil, most definitely ▸ doin’ time, lana del rey

45. Baby, I'm a sociopath. Sweet serial killer. On the warpath. 'Cause I love you just a little too much ▸ serial killer, lana del rey [dark theme, dark!nat and wanda vibes or dark!mc/reader with a pretty boy like peter p.]

46. Guys my age don't know how to treat me. Don't know how to treat me. Don't know how to treat me. Guys my age don't know how to touch me. Don't know how to love me good ▸ guys my age, hey violet [mature, sugar!daddy/mommy theme]

love, rose <3

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perseprose/profile you can request in ao3 too. i will publish this in there too.

[masterlist]

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