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lemonsrosesandlavender · 1 month

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WIP WHENEVER

bitches I am BACK from my fandom break having restrained myself to writing… oh, only a few thousand words about Rolan. LMAO. There will be no chapter/fic this weekend, as planned, but next weekend there definitely will be. And with that in mind, thanks for the WIP tag @graysparrowao3! If you like Rolan angst… they’ve got an absolute gut punch for you. Still recovering, tbh. and passing the tag onto @commander-krios and @cactusmisslittle if you fancy it <3

I’m currently working on both Combat Training (Rolan x Tav smut) and Planar Tears. Here’s an excerpt from the latter, a couple of chapters ahead… so consider yourself warned for major spoilers!

As she wraps them in her hands, gesturing to his wounded ankle, he remembers what she said earlier, about icing it. Though the pain now throbbing through him makes concentrating difficult, he pulls himself together enough to call Prestidigitation’s name.

Surprise registers on Catrin’s face. She looks into his eyes, and Rolan feels warmth flood him, despite the cold aftertaste of the spell. Her cool, capable fingers take a careful hold on his ankle, and she props his foot in her lap, winding the chilled fabric around the joint.

‘Er. Rolan,’ Cal starts. ‘What is she doing?’

‘What does it look like she’s doing?’ Rolan says irritably, and then lies back under Catrin’s firmly-pointed direction. ‘She’s a healer. A non-magical one.’

‘And you’re letting her heal you without protest?’ Lia snorts. ‘Well, it’s nice to know you’ll let a total stranger help you and not us.’

‘She’s not a stranger,’ Rolan retorts, and looks up at Catrin, imperviously winding still. It feels rude to argue about her when she is right there. Her dark hair falls into her face, and she nudges it back with her shoulder, catching his eye briefly.

‘You still haven’t explained how she got here,’ Cal points out helpfully.

Oh, Gods. He grits his teeth and launches into the shortest explanation possible, one that provokes countless questions and curses.

‘Bloody Hells!’

‘Wait, but how have you spoken to her?’

‘You asked Gale?’

‘How come Aradin - ’

‘What about Ethel - ?’

‘Zurgan!’

Catrin finishes the job and slumps against the wall. His ankle still aches, but it’s duller with rest. She only nods in reply to their curious glances.

‘Is she alright?’

‘No,’ Rolan says shortly, and then softens his tone. ‘Catrin?’

She stirs, pulling herself together with obvious effort, and then gestures to his siblings. Aradin. Waterfall.

Oh no.

Rolan thinks about telling her to stop, but he has no better ideas. Leaving Aradin’s body to fester in these caves will only attract rats and gods know what else. He starts to sit up, to offer a Thunderwave, only for Catrin to turn her sharp gestures on him. No. Your ankle. Stay put. It’s true that he’d more or less have to crawl at this point to get close enough.

‘Cal,’ he says reluctantly. ‘Maybe you could try to get me a healing potion - ’

‘There aren’t any,’ Lia says with a shake of her head, dropping Aradin’s feet to catch her breath. Catrin persists in dragging him, the determination grim on her forehead.

‘What do you mean? Help her!’

‘I’m not your bloody servant Rolan.’

‘It’s not like I can do it!’

Cal shies away from the sight of the body. ‘Gods,’ he murmurs, his face crumpling. ‘Stop, I think I’m going to be sick.’

‘I know there were healing potions left when I had one!’

‘So that’s what Cerys meant.’

‘To the Hells with Cerys!’

‘You would know they’d all been stolen if you’d actually been around!’

‘Oh great, so they only guard them from us.’ Rolan spits back. ‘I bet it was that wretched elf.’

‘What does it matter?’ Lia snaps back. ‘If you’d told us, you might not have a bloody broken leg right now -’

‘Sprained,’ Rolan corrects her peevishly, as if he really knows distinctly what that means.

Lia’s voice raises. ‘You are bloody -’

There’s a short, sharp, frustrated sound from Catrin, and an absolutely foul one from Cal, who steps over Aradin’s body just in time to vomit over the edge of the waterfall.

#planar tears #cabbage writes #fanfic #WIP #rolan #I’M BACK BABY #I just needed to remove myself from the dopamine drip lol #and also a little bit from the pressure of publishing weekly #as much as I love it #I have a lot of real life stuff to do too #but whatever I have SO MANY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS NOW!#also this needs significant editing but whatever #I’m excited

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kuromori4 · 1 month

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One of the problems with following the dopamine as an artist/writer/etc is that sometimes it means working on 5 or 6 (or more) projects simultaneously in small chunks. Which is great to keep boredom from stifling your work, but can be frustrating when you're working your butt off on multiple projects, but none to the point of completion. so your Tumblr/AO3/DeviantArt/whatever gets neglected for ages even though you've done so much work!

#a03 fanfic #fanart #writers on tumblr #a03 writer #fanfic #fanfiction #artists on tumblr #adhd #dopamine #writers block #art block #too many wips

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sparkles-oflight · 7 months

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Hello, to the 6 people reading my fanfic (I'm sorry, I literally get so excited when I get kudos or any kind of interaction in my story hehe):

Chapters 6-8 won't have much Jan, Jure and Nace content....I was considering writing an extra chapter through Jan's POV. What do ya think?

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poppiesforthirteen · 2 years

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so doctor who is a special interest now!

#it all matches up #the loss of my previous spin #the 5 month mark of my hyperfixation starting having been recently #the weirdly touchy and fragile feelings surrounding any new information about it #my obsession settling into a sort of background calm that still gives me dopamine shots when i think about it for too long #would say the fanfic but that happened pretty early this go around #good to know!#🥀

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gunpowder-gemini · 2 months

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ok. okokokokok. so. gonna replay thieves in time to get back in the headspace to keep writing Old Fashioned bc it's been like, a year since I posted chapter 1 and I really really do want to actually try to write this thing to completion.

#Might take a while bc my health has been steadily declining #but also I have a lot of free time right now #and I'd like to spend it more productively than just mindlessly scrolling through tumblr and watching youtube #gotta invest in the harder to earn dopamine bc it's better for me #luckily the sly cooper hyperfixation is never far under the surface #and I'm pretty confident that just playing one of the games will drag me back under 😂#Kid will show up and he'll be all that's on my brain bc the brainrot is strong #cowboy raccoon has a vice grip on my heart #I'll probably end up playing the original trilogy too bc it has my boys but well written #but kid's in 4 and so is my whole fanfic so *sigh*#gotta sift through the shit to find the skeleton of canon my fic is built on 😂

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jyoongim · 16 days

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Hey, so I LOVED your Alastor x doe reader with synced heat/rut fanfic! I was just wondering if maybe we could get some aftercare? Like say, Al is all smitten now that he's calmed down and just cooes over her plush body, yknow, just regular malewife material :)

THANK YOUUUUUUU X <3

Read this one first!!

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You woke up with a groan.

Your body was sore all over.

You blinked, trying to gauge your surroundings.

You were in your room.

You no longer had that burning need to be fucked and filled.

Your heat had been sated.

You stretched and winced, feeling the stickiness of cum between your legs. You rolled over in your nest, finding the space occupied.

A surprised squeak left your lips when large hands pulled you into a warm mass.

”Good morning my doe” a raspy voice said, sharp teeth nipping at your shoulder.

Alastor!

You purred as the demon pressed soft kisses along your neck and shoulder, snuggling into him. You blushed remembering the night event before

“O-oh good morning” you said softly looking up at the deer.

You and Alastor had mated.

He mated with you…

Satan!

He nestled his head in the crook of your neck, chest rumbling in a purr “How are you feeling?”

Sore. Thats how you were feeling but you felt happy and filled with dopamine.

”better. T-thank you for…for last night” you averted your gaze to his chest flush, fingers twirling.

He hummed “it was my pleasure dear. You were such a good girl”

You realized you were naked and went to cover yourself, but Alastor stopped you “Theres no need to hide yourself. I am your mate, there’s no need for modesty in the nest”

Your ears perked as you blinked at him “You dont mind being mated to me?” Your heart was fluttering.

He let out a chuckle “Of course not! You have no idea how long I’ve waited to bed you. I admit i would have preferred courting methods but here we are all the same”

His eyes looked over your body, marred with marks and bruises from your rutting.

Your belly grumbled and you blushed. He smirked “hungry?” You nodded and watched as he heaved himself up and walked to your closet.

Towels. He snapped his fingers and a tub of water appeared.

He gathered you in his arms, settling you in his lap as he washed you. Rinsing you of dried cum and blood. You saw his eyes light up seeing your cunt drip with his cum.

Once you were clean, clean pajamas were on your body and a hot plate of food appeared.

Fruits and water.

You happily grabbed the fruits and munched as Alastor massaged the knots out your body.

You pierced a berry with your claw and held it to his lips.

”You need to eat too” you said sweetly, making the overlord smile and wrap his lips around the fruit and your finger.

Once the plate was empty he snapped his fingers and it disappeared and his normal attire manifested on his person.

He set you on your bed and you watched as he cleaned up your room, discarding your ruined bedding and cleaning your nest.

You giggled when his shadow wrapped around you, cooing at you.

”Why dont you rest for the remainder of the day my dear? You took a lot last night” Alastor scratched your head as he tucked you into bed. You pouted, usually you opted for fresh air, but you were still very tired.

You nodded “Won’t you stay?” Your big doe eyes looked at him. Alastor smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to your pouty lips “Ill be back doe. Dont worry your pretty head. Just rest until I come back”

Your eyes grew heavy and you snuggled in your bed. Alastor’s shadow stayed behind, eerily chirping and cooing quietly as it watched over you.

————————————————————————————-

Alastor smiled softly as you snored.

His eyes raked over you.

You were beautiful.

His beautiful doe.

His beautiful mate.

Your fur had adapted some of his colorings, streaks of red blending in your natural coloring.

He never thought he would mate with another demon, but he was happy to be bonded to you.

He had moved all your things to his room and had prepared a nice warm bubble bath for you.

Unlike him, does typically needed more care after a rough heat. So he took it upon himself to make sure you were pampered and rested.

After all…

You were stuck with him forever…might as well get comfortable with with spoiling you at any given chance.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x reader #jyoongim #alastor the radio demon #alastor x y/n #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor smut

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pastellieria · 2 months

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I'm seeing way too many posts lately that are basically trying to shame people into commenting on their fanfics. Yes, AO3 writers aren't a faceless content machine but AO3 readers also aren't a faceless dopamine machine where you put in a fic and you get free validation and self-esteem. I write fic, I understand how the people who make these posts feel, but everyone involved here is just a human being and getting in your head about how many comments you "should" be getting is a one-way ticket to burnout.

Also, a "fandom community" that tells readers that you think of them as evil, greedy, and entitled by default but you'll totally change your mind if they praise you is... not the sort of community I would like to participate in.

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statusexile · 6 months

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Got Milk?

Summary: You have some of the wildest sexual fantasies all your life, but only Ghost and Konig could make it all come true.

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader x Konig

Warnings: afab reader, sub!Ghost and Konig, polyamorous relationship, age play, age gap (reader in their 20s, Ghost and Konig in their early 40s), lactophilia, mutual masturbation, fingering, squirting, exhibitionist, golden shower, reader is highkey a nymphomaniac lmao, overall nasty nasty stuffs.

Word count: 2,010 words

NSFW. MDNI!

a/n: Please don’t take any medication without consulting a doctor first! Also this is my first ever fanfic so any suggestion and feedback is welcome 😊

You are a depraved person. Or at least, that’s who you think you are.

You are, however, not always like this. Not in the beginning, anyway. When you hit the ripe age of puberty, you started to feel something changes from the inside of your body. You start bleeding every month, there’s hair starting to grow in some parts of your body, the shape of your breasts start changing. It’s fine, you knew all about it, it’s all written in the science book from your school.

There’s something inside you that’s brewing. Something that you couldn’t explain and it’s not on the science book that you’ve been reading. So, you look for answers on the internet. Your parents have been so busy all your life so you basically have access to the internet, unsupervised, during your entire teenage hood. Until one day you accidentally saw someone on social media sharing a picture of their cock. It awakens something in you. That day, you finally find the answer that you’ve been looking for.

You finally find out that there such things as porn site, the place where people took off their clothes and have sex with each other. You also know what sex is, that’s what people do when they want to have children. But you don’t know it was going to be this hot. You could feel something between your legs, some kind of thing that wants to be released. So, you started touching that damp part between your legs, flicking this bud inside them, rubbing them continuously with your own fingers. God, it feels so good, so you keep rubbing them over and over again until something inside you started building and it exploded as you keep going.

You reached your first orgasm, and it was probably one of the best feelings that you ever felt. And now, you want more.

As you grew older, there’s not a single day where you didn’t spend at least half an hour watching porn every day. You need your daily dose of dopamine hit every day. It made you feel good, you loved the feeling every time you reach your climax, it does something to your body that you could never get enough. But as time passed, the type of porn that you usually watch couldn’t please you as much as they used when you first started watching them. It becomes monotone, just another people thrusting each other, making each other moans and grunts, yada-yada-yada, they hit their climax and done. You want more. God, you always want more, nothing is ever enough for you, you’re thinking that you’re practically insatiable at this point.

Until you find that there’s types of porn videos that… intrigues you. At first, you find it by coincidence, after clicking so many next pages when you tried to find something that could make you come like it used to. It was in a very low quality and have very few viewers, the title is also in some foreign language you couldn’t understand, and the actors are also speaking in foreign language, too. But goodness gracious, it was so fucking hot. Something that so sick to you at the time, where you see the girl is being peed on by so many men, basically showering in them. Made you feel so sick, it was so fucking disgusting, but at the same time it turns you on so fucking much. You want to be that girl so fucking much it hurts. After that you find so many videos of sexual fetishes and kinks you didn’t know about. Many people find it as sexual deviant, but not to you. It was practically the most perfect thing that any human being could do.

You came so much your body started trembling after watching that video, it was so good, just like the first time you have an orgasm. But now, you want more. And you want a real thing this time.

You have boyfriends in the past, you never been a hypersexual girl to other people because you always keep your image like a normal girl, you have sex with your boyfriends but none of them seems to please you like you want to. You can’t even come properly because they finished too soon, let alone fulfilling all your crazy sexual dreams. They only prioritize their own pleasure on top of yours. Reminds you of that one song where the singer sings about boys their own age doesn’t know how to treat and touch them right.

It all changes in one single night. That night, you struck an absolute gold.

You went clubbing with your friends. Club has never been your scene, you prefer to stay at home if you could but you don’t want to disappoint them, so you tag along. You could see your friends absolutely having a blast on the dance floor, moving their body to the beat, while you sat at the bar, drinking your cola instead of alcohol since you always find the taste of them disgusting and wondering why people like them so much. But soon you feel two pairs of eyes piercing into you, the gaze of two tall men, standing before you with hulking forms that strained their clothing. Both of them wearing mask, only leaving their eyes exposed. You could feel their stare boring into you. It was the hottest feeling in the entire world.

Soon, the two men approached you, asking to buy you a drink. You said no, but ask them to stick around. After some times talking, you found out that both men are in the military and they’re currently on a break from touring. You could feel the sexual tension in the air when you’re speaking with them, but one thing led another, and the next thing you know you’re sandwiched between them in the back of the club, both of them absolutely ravaging you like starving animals. They asked you to come home with them, and you said yes. The next thing you know you woke up in Ghost’s house, feeling absolutely worn because both men absolutely drained your energy from hours of sex and you came five times last night you seriously think that you’re gonna pass out from dehydration from non-stop squirting they made you do.

You can’t get enough of them, so you asked them to be with you, to make it an exclusive relationship between three of you. They said yes, but you didn’t know that your life will change forever.

At first the three of you are just having regular sex, it was always hot, they got stamina as fucking beast and you’re trying not to pass out every time you had sex with them. It lasted for hours most of the time, and it was everything you could ever dream off in your entire life. After few months, you decide to tell them that you have some ‘ideas’ to spice your relationship. It all started with having sex in a mall parking lot, fitting rooms now you’re fucking them out in the beach on the weekend where it was absolutely crowded with people, and they might catch three of you fucking in public place soon. But fuck it, right? The thrill of getting caught made three of you getting even more turned on.

One fucked up thing led to another, now you’re basically the girl from the porn video that you watched, the one that absolutely get golden showered by a lot of men. One time, you let Ghost and Konig showering you with their urine. You could feel the warm liquid drenching you from your head to toe, as you sit on the floor, feeling like you’re in heaven. Fuck, maybe you’re already dead and this is heaven. At first, you thought that they will be disgusted by you at this point, but you surprised that they actually into them as well. They also told that girls your age made them excited about life again, and they down to do anything that you want.

Bing-fucking-go.

At this point, there’s nothing you haven’t had with them and nothing they haven’t done to you. Everyday is an adventure with them, it’s exciting, and three of you are like animals when it come to sex. So, you’re always trying to find something new to bring to the table. The sky is the limit at this point. Soon you find out that there’s such thing as induced lactation as this usually done by adoptive parents who want to breastfeed their children. But of course, considering how insatiable you are, you also want this too. The thought of breastfeeding your men turns you on so much, so you look on the internet how can you induce lactation on yourself. Soon you find out that there’s medication for that and there are techniques that you can do such as massaging and pumping your own breasts. You do what the internet told you to do, and of course you do every single things that you read. Now you only need to find the right timing to do the act itself.

It was a quiet Sunday morning, as the three of you just wake up from your slumber. Sitting in dining room with the men, drinking their coffee, until Konig suddenly asked what should they have for breakfast, and you suddenly blurted out, “How about me for breakfast?”

The men, of course, pick up the cue right after you told them, both of them dragging you back to bedroom, stripping you naked then pushed you to the bed. You told them to strip their clothes as well and lay next to you.

You could feel Ghost fingers starting to caress your already damp cunt, as Konig fondling your breast and peppering your neck with kisses and nibbling them. You moan from the intense pleasure they’re giving you, but then you want them to start sucking your tits. “Your wish is our command, princess”, they said as the latch their mouth on your tits, sucking them like a starving baby. Ghost still pumping his fingers inside of your cunt as you stroke both of their strobing cocks at the same time.

In no time you started lactating your milk, thanks to your effort prepping them beforehand. The men are surprised in the beginning but tasting your breastmilk in their mouth and it made them so fucking hard. “Suck my tits, let me breastfeed you like a baby”, you said as you still pumping your hands on their cocks. The men sucked on your tits like their lives depend on it. Lapping all your milk that feels like coming out nonstop.

“I love it when you treat us like babies, mommy”, Konig said while he’s flicking your nipples and sucking on them, make sure he doesn’t let out a single drop from his mouth. On the other hand, you could hear Ghost muttering “You’re a fucking disgusting little cunt” under his breath as he keeps doing the same thing as Konig while pumping his fingers inside you mercilessly.

It doesn’t take a very long before you could feel your orgasm approaching, the overstimulation from the men milking your tits dry and Ghost’s thick fingers inside you make it unbearable. You could feel the men’s cocks started twitching in your hands as well.

Three of you came at the same time, you jerk your head back as you could feel the intense feeling of orgasm they gave you, Ghost keeps pumping his fingers inside of you, make sure to let it all out as you squirted so hard, drenching the bedsheet. The men shoot out their thick white liquid in your hands as you keep pumping them, hitting their orgasm as well as they still latching to your tits.

You finally came down from the high, as you kiss both men on the lips, telling how good they are for you today, whispering sweet nothings in their ears, as they cuddle to you, holding you tight.

This is perfect, and it doesn’t get any better than this, you muttered to yourself.

---

Reblog and likes is always appreciated. Thank you for reading!

#ghost x reader x konig #ghost x reader x konig smut #simon ghost riley x reader x konig smut #ghost x reader smut #ghost x reader #konig x reader #konig x reader smut #call of duty smut #konig cod #ghost cod #cod mw2 #cod x reader #könig x reader #könig x reader smut #ghost x fem reader #könig x fem reader #modern warfare smut #shaf writes

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syndromealice-blog · 3 days

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Sometimes someone says I am dumb because I love fictional characters.

I am smiling to that.

Because I want to live on the fictional world. Because I don’t like the reality I am living in. It’s traumatic and full of crap.

I like reading and drawing but I don’t always have any strength because I am tired.

Literally in the fictional universe is the same thing almost every time: wars, cheating, murders, betrayal…

But it’s different because it’s more interesting. I like to think about my comfort characters. Snape, Thorin, Thranduil…

I can control them in my mind. They won’t cheat, abuse, betray, rape me. Unlike my parents or my ex.

They won’t say anything bad. Because I am the filter. I can read fanfics or write them.

It’s sad because all my brain needs to survive is take dopamine from fictional characters and universe.

It’s sad that I am somehow always ending alone. It’s sad that I am in the middle of the war and when I was a child reading history books I didn’t think it’s possible anymore.

I am tired adult. I am working every day, driving car, fixing car, doing home stuff and even building shit in my house. I don’t have anyone to help me. Only my grandmother but she can’t help me with everything. I am tired. I am almost 22 years old and I took too much on my shoulders. Weight is too much. But do I really have a choice?

I want to read and I want to control those things in my life. They aren’t real and if we all think about it, it’s becoming sadder all the time. Nobody ever loved me as much as fictional characters in my head. Nobody ever treated me this good and kind.

#severus snape #pro snape #snape defense #snape fandom #harry potter #pro severus #hp #lord of the rings #the hobbit #thranduil #thorin oakenshield

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breannasfluff · 10 months

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Quick question, how do you write so much? I fight the words for an hour and have maybe 2 paragraphs of garbage but you pump out really nice work almost every day??? I have so many ideas but I can’t write them for love nor money

I write almost every day, or I take a break and switch it out for drawing. I generally can write a chapter in one go, so usually stock up some backlog to cover days I’m busy. Having multiple stories now means I don’t have that backlog of some, so updates are a bit slower.

As for writing tips:

1. Remove distractions. Shut discord, exit out of tumblr, mute your phone. When you are stuck, don’t go scroll social media. When writing, the only thing I touch the internet for is if I need to check a story item, like a character name, item history, etc. I cannot overstate how important this is. If you are talking to your friends, you won’t have a writing flow.

2. Do not edit as you write. Writing and editing are two different tasks. You switch between creative and critical thinking and it breaks flow. This is a scientific process and you can read more about it here.

Research electroencephalogram (EEG) suggests both heightened electrical brain wave activity and elevated dopamine levels during flow. In other words, your brain experiences both electrical and chemical changes when you’re “in the zone.”

But once you switch to self-editing mode, you move to the critical thinking side of your brain. You halt all of freewriting’s creative electrical impulses and pleasure-sensing dopamine levels. Your mind flips off one switch and turns on another.

3. Set a time, then be done. Give yourself 20 minutes and write as much as you can. Doesn’t matter if it’s garbage. You can edit garbage into something useful or you can chuck it in a bin. Just try to write, then take a break. Staring at a blank document for two hours isn’t going to make words appear and it just stressed out your brain.

4. Have an outline. Sometimes a magical idea just flows when you sit down to write, but generally not. Have an outline of what you want to have happen in your story or chapter. It doesn’t need to be in depth; for most of my oneshots I literally have a sentence or two at the top of the page. The story needs to have a goal. For example: Wild tries to teach Hyrule cooking. It doesn’t go well. Bouncing ideas off friends can be a big help! It’s why you’ve probably seen me post about prompts and suggestions, and sometimes stories are gifted to people. Talking through plot ideas can help you get a better outline or idea of action.

Misc notes:

Hate to say, but some of it is just practice. I’ve been actively writing for a little over a year with some breaks on and off. Making it a habit is a big thing for making it easy. It’s harder to restart after a break.

When I first started writing I tried to pick one aspect to improve for each story. Filter words, pacing, varying sentence starters, story arcs, etc. Fixing multiple things at once was too much work, but one item at a time was doable.

Filter words make such a huge difference in writing; I encourage you to look them up. It’s a PAIN to remove them in post, but it also taught me to cut them out. Now it’s unconscious and while some still show up, I tend to write them out automatically.

You can learn to write quickly, but if you don’t also work on quality you’ll just…write a lot. That said, it’s fanfic. Sometimes it’s just for fun and quality doesn’t matter. I’ve got plenty of stories that will never be posted because they are just for fun.

Some of it could be writing speed, too? I use a bot a lot of times for timing and tracking and generally average 30-35 words/min. Harder story topics are slower to write, like angst and emotional scenes.

I’m actually writing less this year than last, but I don’t put as much time into it. It also keeps it sustainable as a hobby, although I definitely hit periods of frustration. It can get overwhelming.

If you search my blog for the tag #writing advice or #writing tips, you should fine some other things as well.

This was rather frank, but hopefully helpful! Feel free to drop further questions and I’ll do my best to answer 💜

#asks #writing advice #writing tips #writing #creative writing #fanfic writing

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joheunsaram · 2 years

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Discord Discourse (knj)

summary- Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server... dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?

word count- 2.8k

pairing- idol!Namjoon x fanfic writer!Reader

rating- PG15

genre- internet relationships, s2(maybe)lovers, angst, fluff, slightly smutty

warnings- pretty angsty, a little sexting but not actual sexting, superficial conversations portrayed as deep (lol im sorry I didn’t want to make this too long), infatuation, open ending, talks of a daddy kink

a.n.- this was not supposed to Joon’s bday drabble but it somehow ended up so lol. this is for all my fic writers out there. please don’t hate me for what the reader did... there may or may not be another part in the works oops lol

Thanks to the beautiful @raplinesmoon for helping me brainstorm, beta and fix the ending!!

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

- Kim Namjoon had a bad habit.

It wasn’t like watching too much porn, although it was somewhat like that. It wasn’t googling himself to read comments on his videos, although it was somewhat like that. It wasn’t talking to his fans incognito, although it was exactly like that.

Sitting in his room, in his boxers, he had all the lights off. His eyes were fixated on his screen, two fingers hovering over the touchpad of his laptop as he scrolled periodically. He pushed his glasses back, his face luminated by the blue light of his screen and swallowed, ignoring the way his stomach knotted and his face heated.

Kim Namjoon had a bad habit. And it all started when he joined a random discord server named after his studio. Of course he never revealed himself. To the unsuspecting largely female members, he was John, an autocorrect happenstance that granted him his anonymity. Not that anyone would believe he was him anyway. Not in these circles.

He thought it would be cute to interact with his fans when his new solo song came out, a way to practice his English. He wanted to know their reactions and their criticisms without the love. Little did he know that all he would get was affection and that affection would not only feed his dwindling ego but give him a dopamine rush that had become so addictive it had his heart racing every time a notification popped on his phone.

monolover: omgggggg did you see joon in the new mv???? I’m fucking dying! moonchild: yes I want to lick his whole body! GODDAMN HES PERFECT!!! joonsbicycle: honestly if he’s not getting every inch of his body worshipped rn whats even the point of life? moonlover: I volunteer as tribute! God the things I would let that man do to me!!!

He chuckled at the thread, lower lip caught between his teeth and looked around his dark room. The silence in the air was deafening. He liked his home. He was proud of his collection, making it look like an art museum, beautiful and untouchable. The wooden accents and the plush furniture was comforting but they felt cold.

There was no one there to worship his body. There was no one even there to kiss him. Which is why this was a bad habit. He shouldn’t be getting happy sucked into this small world of eight women who had somehow unlocked more kinks in him than should be possible. And he really shouldn’t be holding his breath when your name showed that you were typing.

It was unhealthy to be almost in love with someone who he didn’t even know. Yet when your message popped up, his heart skipped a beat and his boxers got tighter.

yn: if namjoons sitting alone rn it’s a crime!!! I would be on my knees in front of him marking those thighs fuckkk. yn: speaking of! new super smutty fic is out reblog for good skin lol I really hope he never finds my blog he would be traumatized.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Namjoon whispered as he stared into the dark abyss in front of him, imagining you crawling towards him, your lips travelling up his legs, your teeth leaving indentations between the muscles.

When he first joined the server, he had been immediately drawn to you. Perhaps it was because he had joined right after he posted about his plans for opening a gallery and the first thing he saw was your in depth analysis on an artist you admired but he had never heard of. It made him eager to post about art too and gave him the push to step away from his nerves and talk. He expected to be told that he was boring and that nobody cared. He was used to that. But the server was inviting, asking questions and letting him soliloquize about paint strokes and abstractions. They welcomed him with open arms without knowing who he was, especially you.

You asked him probing questions that made him think, re-evaluate his stances, and then you turned out to be something out of his wet dreams. The more time he spent on the server, he realized it wasn’t just a place to discuss his and his team’s music and accomplishments. It was a place where they also discussed how attractive he was. In full uncensored detail.

After only a month, he had read every single work of fiction you had created, all of them featuring him. The other members of the server were writers too, but somehow he only found your works alluring. The first thing he read was a whopping ninety thousand word story about heartbreak and love and perseverance. It had him tearing up with his character, a broken man who worked a dead end job.

He had praised it and the moment you told him it was supposed to be an anti capitalist piece, he read it all over again. This time he caught the nuances and critiques of a system he hated and was a part of — just like the Namjoon in the story. You had never met him, yet his fictional self made all the decisions he would make, felt the things he would feel, and after a really long time, he felt like he was seen. His fictional self wasn’t an idol, he wasn’t famous or beloved. He was just himself and it made his longing for a normal life seem… well, normal.

With time, he used your stories to teleport himself into worlds he wouldn’t experience, into situations he would never be in, and he felt alive. Seeing himself from your eyes made him feel incredible, invincible, even if you were practically a stranger.

So without any further ado, he clicked the link you sent and lost himself in a new world. A world where he was apparently a sex god that could make you cum six times in a row. He was hard by the time he finished the short story, and then he read it again, wanting to memorize the moves you so desired. He knew he would never meet you in real life. He had been lucky but he would never get that lucky. Yet he did it, stroking himself as he imagined how you would sound. Your female characters always whimpered when teased and moaned his name breathily. Would he ever get to hear you whimper?

As if reading his mind, you sent him a message.

yn: don’t get too turned on reading the new story. I want you to figure out the hidden meaning 🤪 john: what hidden message is in jisoo calling Namjoon daddy? yn: john we all know you love when I call Namjoon daddy in my fics lol but look deeper 👀 john: it’s only cause it seems like your characters love saying daddy. Anything you wanna confess babe? yn: ughhhhh I hate that you all know my kinks because of this!!! tell me when you see it

Namjoon read the piece again, ignoring how turned on he was to find nuances, and then he read the description of the room, a description he had skimmed over to get to the good parts. How did he miss that?

john: theyre fucking in prison?! john: WHY IS NAMJOON IN PRISON?! john: I thought you said he would be a good guy! He’s always a good guy in your fics!!! yn: don’t get all emo on me. He could be falsely imprisoned lol yn: but nah I put him in prison as an allegory. Like how life can feel like you’re caged in but you forget about that feeling if you have someone you love by your side. yn: ugh I hate explaining stuff makes me feel like a belong on r/verydeep HAHAHHA john: that’s actually fucking profound. Who knew porn could be art? 😝 yn: sex with me is always art thank you very much john: yeah I bet it is, baby. I wouldn’t mind you calling me daddy anytime.

Namjoon blinked as soon as he registered what he had sent, his heart pounding in panic. He had always had these thoughts about you. He never thought he would tell you any of them. What was fucking wrong with him?! Did he really think a few flirting comments from you gave him free reign to sext! God he was like the terrible men on Tinder, just a testosterone filled Neanderthal focused on sex. Fuck!

yn: as hot as I find out intellectual discourse I really wouldn’t sext with a stranger. you could be like twelve for all I know

Namjoon perked up at the message. You technically didn’t say you didn’t want to, just that you wouldn’t. Perhaps he stood a semblance of a chance when it came to you. Perhaps all the texting and subtle flirting made you like him too.

john: as a matter of fact I turned 28 today. so I’m definitely not twelve yn: ha you’ve been reading too many of my fics your bday really the same as Joons?

Oh… he hadn’t thought through about this piece of information. Of course you knew when your favourite celebrity’s birthday was! But hey a lot of people have birthdays at the same time.

john: virgins unite baby john: VIRGOS! I MEANT VIRGOS! yn: lmfao not helping your case john: how do I prove I’m of age yn: honestly idk yn: guess no sexting for us. rip. john: well… what if we do a voice chat? john: not that I just want to sext you! john: it’ll just be nice to hear your voice and get to know you better yn: ha I’m not going to sext you daddy 🤣 yn: but sure I like talking to you (yn calling)

Namjoon’s eyes widened at the screen, his throat dry. He hasn’t expected this easy acquiescence. He thought you would just blow him off, but after months of daily chats he should’ve anticipated that you’d be comfortable enough to chat with him. Taking a deep breath, he clicked the little green phone to pick up.

“Hello.”

“Hey! Wow, your voice is really deep. Somehow even though your name is John I expected a girl,” you giggled and it was a rush of endorphins tapped right into his veins. Your voice was nothing like he imagined. Where he thought of you to have a high pitched, slightly princess-ey tone, your real voice was lower, an alto with a rasp that made him weak. He wanted to listen to it everyday.

“So does this prove I’m not a twelve year old?” he teased, hiding his nerves with a confident bravado you preferred in the fictional Namjoon.

“Nah. But I really want to talk about this book I’m reading because it’s so funny and dumb in the best way and I could care less how old you were,” you replied. He chuckled as you launched into a rant about this romance series you were reading about a group of men who read romance to solve their romantic problems. Namjoon lost himself a little in the similarities between himself and the plot. Wasn’t he also reading romance to mold himself into a perfect man, albeit he was trying to woo the author herself, but still. However as you continued, he thought about how exceptionally stupid it was for him to even attempt to seek out something other than friendship with you.

It wasn’t as if he could just ask you out and take you on a date. He couldn’t hold your hand or kiss you under the lamplight of a rain soaked street. He only knew your first name and if your accent was any indication, you most likely didn’t live anywhere near him. Should he really try to start something if he knew for a fact that he couldn’t give you the romance that he knew you wished for?

Decision made, his nerves eased and he listened to your rants, discussing the novel he had never read. He couldn’t let his heart get involved. If you love someone, set them free, isn’t that what they said? Well he would set you free to meet the guy of your dreams. You didn’t actually like him, you had mentioned to him time and time again that the Namjoon in your stories wasn’t based of off the real one, and other than light teasing, you had made no indication that you thought his alter ego ‘John’ was up to your standards either. No matter which persona he was, he didn’t fit you, so for the sake of the only freeing friendship he had, he decided it was better not to complicate things.

At least until you said your next words.

“Want to hear about my next story? I think I’m going to write my first idol fic. Something about the loneliness of fame, of how isolating it seems,” you pondered out loud, and Namjoon hated how much he already related to the story.

“Tell me about it. Fame fucking sucks,” he commented, momentarily forgetting his disguise.

“Are you famous, John?” you asked, a teasing grin visible over the line, making Namjoon contemplate whether to come clean. At 3am, his impulsivity was at an all time high so without any forethought of consequences, he hit the camera icon.

The screen split into two, the left side showing his dark room before he clicked on his bedside lamp. The bright light blinded him momentarily, his hand automatically rubbing his eye before he sheepishly looked at the camera. He heard nothing from you but could see your icon showing you were still on the call.

“Hi… umm I guess I’m kinda famous,” he said, laughing uncomfortably. The longer the silence went on, the more his nerves clawed at him, making him flush so deeply, he wished he could turn back time.

“What… the… fuck?”

He heard you whisper before the call disconnected. Staring at the chat, he tried to overcome the sudden wave of dejection at your rejection. It was a logical response. You had said multiple times you wished he never read your works, of course you were taken aback to learn about him, about who he really was. He should give you some time to catch up.

But patience was never Namjoon’s strong suit, so he messaged almost immediately.

john: please say something

You didn’t reply for an hour even when your icon had a tiny green circle next to it, indicating that you were still there.

yn: I am really really sorry about all the fics and the rude comments. I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable and I apologize if these conversations were creepy or disturbing. Just know that you are a great source of inspiration for me and I hope you keep making amazing music for me and other fans. Thank you so much for your hard work. I will delete my blog if you like and I won’t bother you again, john. yn: I mean Namjoon. yn: really sorry again. yn: also happy birthday!

Namjoon stared at his screen cursing at himself for ruining almost a year long friendship for a moment of loneliness. You had said you made him uncomfortable but he was sure that if anyone was uncomfortable it was you. Bracing himself, he decided to answer the only way he knew how. Honestly.

john: Please don’t apologize. You have never made me uncomfortable Y/N. Please believe me. I really do enjoy your stories and talking to you. I would consider us friends if you’d have me.

As soon as he pressed enter he got a response. Only it wasn’t one he was expecting.

Your message could not be delivered. This is usually because you don't share a server with the recipient or the recipient is only accepting direct messages from friends. You can see the full list of reasons here: https://support.discord.com/hc/en-us/articles/360060145013

His hands shook as he wrote another message only to get the same message in return. After a year of friendship it seemed that he should’ve just hid his true self after all. Shutting his laptop, fell onto his back on the bed, lying to himself that he was okay and that it didn’t hurt.

Opening your blog on his phone, he was relieved to see it still up. Heart pounding in a last ditch effort, he raced to send you a message. Copy pasting his earlier words from discord, he hoped that this time they reached you.

He was ecstatic when the script under his text changed from delivered to seen, his heart soaring in the effervescence of hope. You never replied back, at least not till his eyes were scratchy from staring at the screen and his lids were heavy from sleep.

Kim Namjoon had a bad habit. But if he could salvage his friendship with you, he had no intentions of breaking it.

taglist - @awhnamjoon @alpacaseoks @raplinesmoon @codeinebelle @aislinnstanaka@miscelunaaa @moonchild1 @shydestinyyouth @itsjaneeet @piecesofapril11@yoontaethings @jeonyreads @pb-n-juju @everythingaboutfangirling @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997

Thank you for reading this fic! If you liked it, please tell me your thoughts. I appreciate your feedback!

Please reblog and check out more stories on my masterlist <3

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cawdra · 3 months

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Good question, @avvielalame-blog

GATHER 'ROUND, FOR I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT MY WEIRD HOSPITAL OPIOID TRIP THAT MADE ME HALLUCINATE NEW GOOD OMENS EPISODES:

Last year I went to the hospital. It was some cyst (idk the medical lingo), and it was painful af. They gave me some sort of strong opioid (again, no idea what the medical lingo is, but I think it was Buprensomethingsomething). Mind you, I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but I hadn't taken them for almost a week, cuz I couldn't get out of my bed the whole time (before I eventually went to the hospital). I told them I was off that medication, and because the prescription is pretty old, they gave me the painkillers. TURNS OUT THE FUCKING MEDS WERE NOT OUT OF MY SYSTEM YET!!! So uhhh... yeah.

(If you don't know, mixing these two things can be very dangerous because they can raise dopamine levels too high or something, which is INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS!!! I'm a pretty large person, so this didn't hit me that hard (and also I was off the meds for longer than 24 hours), but if I was slightly less of a fatass and more of a responsible medicine taker, I might have actually been comatosed.)

Anyway, I was riding high that night. I didn't have anything else to do, so after seeing a good omens edit, my first thought was, "That seems gay. I'm in." So I turned on Prime and watched it all in one night. It's not like I was going to sleep in a ward full of screaming people anyway, so might as well make the most of it. The nurses told me to sleep, but I told them I wasn't sleepy, so they just gave me my antibiotics and, whatever else, took my temp and walked out. Did they care about the gay shit I was watching on my phone? No, they've seen worse.

Anyway, I watched the show, ugly cried for like an hour (harder than I did from the cyst that was torturing me for about a week), and then went to sleep at around 2 pm. When I woke up, I, as a responsible queer, decided to rant about it to my friends. After telling them all those things, one of my friends (who actually watched the show with his sister) said, "Are you sure the anesthesia didn't scramble your brain, cuz none of that happened lol."

When I tell you I was DEVISTATED!!! Literally a "You... you serious?" moment. Cried almost as much as I did at the ending.

Also, if you want to know: I had a dream about how the Ineffable Husbands teamed up with some nun (who was as much of a nun as she was a saint - only on a technicality) and they made her carry the Second Coming, which eventually got her kicked off the nunnery of whatever cuz 'These days, if you get pregnant as a nun, you won't be called ‘The Virgin Sarah’ or ‘The Virgin Linda’. You will be called ‘a common whore’. So much for being a virgin.' (Quote from my fanfic (and the weird opioid trip).

I don't know what the rest of the dream was because Mr. Party Pooper (aka my friend JK Juno ily (^з^)-☆) cut me off because I was talking nonsense.

Long story short, the painkillers got out of my system, I took my meds, renewed the prescription, and went on my still-on-going recovery journey.

Did I suffer two heartbreaks in less than 12 hours? Yes. Were they worth it? Eh. I mean, it inspired my fanfic, but wasn't THAT worth it. Did I enjoy my trip? No, I threw up, had diarrhea, and then constipation for two weeks.

I still get an awful surprise when I rewatch Good Omens for a specific scene, only to find out AGAIN that I was just hallucinating.

Moral of the story - don't do drugs and be honest with your doctors and nurses cuz you might actually die.

Anyways, TOODLES!!1!!111!!!

~ CAwdra

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #good omens season 2 #ineffable divorce #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman

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ecoamerica · 25 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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tavyliasin · 3 months

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The Highs and Lows of Fandom Creation

Hello darlings~ It has been a little while and this one has been on my list to get to for a while, and with the Baldur's Date Valentine's Fanworks event soon to draw to a close it seems appropriate to start preparing ourselves for the cycle of what happens when we release our works into the wild. So without further ado, our latest essay~

The RollerCoaster of Emotion That Comes With Being A Creative In Fan Spaces (FanArt, FanFiction, Cosplay, Photography, Music, and So Much More) ((Another CallOut Essay Prepare To Be SEEN)) (((Also I Have Some Coping Techniques Here Too!)))

As usual with my essay pieces I will be making plenty of use of the headers to divide topics, and I fully welcome any thoughts and feelings in the comments. Whilst I am really only in the FanFic side, and a focus on Baldur's Gate 3, I do intend to make this essay inclusive of the trials and tribulations that we all tend to face in making and sharing fanworks of all kinds and through all fandoms. The more people I speak to, the more it seems to be a universal experience, so hold on to your hats it's a bumpy ride! The first part will talk about the Rollercoaster itself, the how and why behind it all, and the second will be around how to cope with it. For readers and appreciators of fan content, I urge you to have a little look too, and at the end I will add in some ways you can help support your favourites too~

Creatives Are Emotional Beings

Starting off with the obvious callout - most of us are. We feel things deeply, and that emotion can often be an incredible driving force behind our works. Whether we're creating around things we've experience, being inspired and influenced by our current emotions, or drawing on our well of imagination to work out what characters might feel (and often more importantly how/why they feel that way), emotion is a strong part of the process.

This can be an incredible strength! Tapping in to the deeper parts of ourselves, our experiences, and the emotions at our cores, can bring out the very best in our works across all creative formats. It also tends to help our audiences engage too, as they recognise their own emotions mirrored in the works.

The Downside to Strong Emotion - The Rollercoaster Effect

This chart was initially drawn up based on writing, but truly after speaking with a few beloved Discord friends it was quick to see that this easily applies to art as well, so I'm going to go over this slightly differently to the initial plan.

The Start Of Every Ride

We begin usually around a neutral baseline, or maybe a little below if we haven't created in a while, perhaps we might start higher than baseline with the rush of an exciting new idea. Either way, the first part of the project tends to go up in mood very quickly when we share those early unfinished parts.

For writers this might be a beta reader or sharing a sample of the work as they're still writing as a teaser, artists might see this as their initial sketch or linework stage if they're sharing progress and teasers too. Cosplayers could be the first part of a build, musicians sharing a few bars of the melody - whatever it is, that first little positive boost that says Keep Going is a powerful one.

But what happens next? Well, you still have more work to do! That initial boost and confidence can drop down to a slump, especially if it's taking longer to complete than you thought it would, and double that if something goes wrong that needs to be changed or fixed.

You may, hopefully, find it begins to rise as things start to come together again and that finish line in sight, but then...

I Finished Making The Thing, Now What?

Well, first you're going to feel that massive surge of satisfaction from completing the thing. Sometimes a dopamine rush in the brain, and all that excitement of "Finally I get to share the thing I worked so hard on! It's done!" So, off you go, you post it. You share the links, maybe drop them in some Discord servers, other social media...and then, often very quickly, it hits you.

Post Publishing Drop

Those of you in the convention and event scene might also know this feeling as "Con Drop", which can take a little longer to manifest. Post Publishing Drop hits quite quickly. Sometimes it might take a few hours, but other times it starts almost within minutes of posting as all that rush of energy finishing and publishing is just...gone.

If you're lucky, you might get some quick and early feedback, especially if you're a well known or popular creator, but I imagine even those of you who tend to get very high engagement can feel a lot of this too so I don't mean to exclude any of you in any way at all~ So what is it? What's happening? WHY?!

Well darlings all that adrenaline is wearing off and realistically you're not likely to get that creative feedback and validation instantly. So that wonderfully powerful emotional heart of yours is going to crack a little. It won't last, it won't stay this low, but good gods that lack of engagement and positive reinforcement can be devastating.

The first engagements you get - kudos, likes, reaction emotes on a Discord post - they may be enough to boost you right back up to your baseline or even a little above, until the worry creeps back in again. And I know that it does, clawing and slithering in the back of your beautifully creative mind whispering those horrible lies:

Why isn't this getting the reaction I hoped for yet? Is this work not as good as before? Have people stopped liking me? Is the website/platform hiding my work? Have I upset people somehow in ways I can't even see?

Then Back Up We Go, And What Goes Up...

Hopefully those voices don't get a chance to be too loud for too long before you see more of that engagement. Maybe it's a heartfelt comment from someone, or a share from someone you respect, or just a little surge of interaction in general. You're back on top, darling, your creative heart is soaring, finally your work is being seen in a way that reminds you why you put in all that time in the first place!

And each time, the high wears off again, with a drop, though the extremities of each is likely less and less as time goes on. Unless, of course, we make one little mistake and the gradual confidence build comes crashing back down...

The Perils Of Comparing

Sometimes this might be looking at someone else's work, seeing a similar style or similar topic get far more engagement than your own. It can be really hard not to feel discouraged by this, and falling into that trap of questioning where you're "going wrong" can lead to absolute agony - I urge you to do your best to move away from this as soon as you notice the feeling. I'll cover some proper techniques later though, I promise!

The other trap with comparison can be looking at your own past works, and over-analysing why some pieces never got the same love and appreciation as others. Picking it apart to find what you can do better is not as wise a plan as it seems for one simple reason:

Over half of this is down to pure chance!

It might be the time of day it was posted, or just one or two people seeing it and deciding to share it on that gives a work a massive boost to interaction and engagement. Maybe a work was lucky enough to get shared in a prominent community by one of the members, or even had someone with a huge following give it a boost.

At the end of the day, there seem to be very few ways to predict this. Of course there are some characters, topics, art styles, writing tropes, etc that will have a tendency to get more love from their respective fanbases - that's how popularity works - but there is no guarantee that, for example, two portraits of the same character in similar styles by different artists will have the same levels of engagement and "success". The main person you should be aiming to please with your own work is yourself~ After all, when working on it you will be the one going over it again and again, knowing every detail in and out, if you don't love the subject of those details your less likely to even reach that finish line~

And It All Begins Again

At the end of the cycle there's often one last spike up. Maybe it's a comment or interaction from someone who truly felt the depth of meaning in your work as you hoped it would, or you realise that it has done better overall in the numbers, or most often you get that creative surge of a shiny new idea that calls to you with that familiar siren song, promising the high of satisfaction and sweeping the memory of that Post Publishing Drop under the rug all over again so you won't see it coming when you trip on it.

How Do We Get Off This Ride? Where's The Safety Bar?

Darlings, be honest, you didn't want to stop. You still don't. That's why you're still right here, reading this with me. Your cycle might take a day, a week, a month, or you may go through the whole thing in a matter of hours.

Riding The Waves

The first way to begin coping is to prepare. Know yourself and how you're likely to feel, and plan ahead for it. If you know the drop is coming, you can try to avoid it, or deploy distress tolerance when it feels too much.

On a very simple level, this can be reminding yourself that the lows do not last, and those highs will still be there. You might even be tempted to try to regulate the highs as much as the lows, to bring everything a little closer in to the baseline throughout the cycle.

Distress Tolerance techniques can be important to practice when you're feeling close to your baseline and calm so that they're easier to turn to when you're feeling that low hit. There are lots of things that work for different people, so it might be trial and error - largely you're looking at relaxation techniques, distraction from the source of the distress, and/or community support.

You Can Rely On The Community!

It is ok to ask for help! You can ask people for reassurance, directly ask for feedback, or even just talk over how you feel with other creators and find out how they're handling things. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone and that your feelings are real, valid, and matter can be a real boon - that's why I'm here, spending a couple of hours putting all of this into words as best as I can for you all. I've felt this cycle too many times, but the more I talk about it with other fic writers the more I feel we are connected and that I'm not just losing my marbles over nothing~

We are human, we have emotions - strong ones, remember? - and there's nothing wrong with that at all!

There is nothing wrong with having emotions and experiencing them!

Knowing When To Step Away

If you know you're more likely to have a swift drop from lack of quick feedback, it's a great idea to plan to step away from socials as soon as you're done. Have an activity planned, or do it all write before bed so you can switch off and go to sleep. Turn off those notifications so you aren't fussing over each one of them as they come in and don't go back for a while.

Allow a realistic amount of time to pass for people to see and engage with your work before you worry it is invisible!

The Next Shiny Idea

Conversely, if you're feeling too much of a creative itch, then as soon as you're done sharing move right on to starting the next project. Let the initial surge of energy from completing and sharing something be the driving force to kickstart the next great adventure! That way you're thinking more about the new work, the sparkling allure of a fresh idea, rather than fixating on the success of the last.

Cashing in on that adrenaline rush to make a good head-start can boost you right to that early feedback stage too, then if you're really lucky when you hit the first drop-off you'll have the positive engagement from the last work to boost you back up, so in some ways you're overlaying your graphs to balance them out with each other.

Naturally this only works if you have the time and energy to do so. It's also important to know when to take breaks to avoid burning out.

General Mood Boosting Ideas

These might not work for everyone, but here are some things to try when you're in one of those lows. A lot of this may be trial and error and knowing yourself best, so treat this as a few things that may or may not be effective rather than Lia's Super Snake Oil Cure For Everything (you have to buy that from me separately, it's super expensive but it is delightfully cherry and cinnamon flavoured~)

Check in on your basic needs. Drink, food, meds (if applicable), sleep/nap, caffeine (if you usually have it), shower/bath/hygiene needs (even if just a quick freshen up it's better than nothing), fresh air/outside time (if possible), exercise/physical movement (if you're able to), social needs (can be in person or online, any social interaction/support)

Music can be a powerful mood tool. Sometimes it's cathartic to listen to music that matches your current mood, but other times it is better to listen to music with the mood you want to feel.

Media from the fandom, like the book/film/game/etc that you're making fanworks for - return to the thing that inspired you to create and remember all the things that you loved about it in the first place.

Look at other fanworks but be very cautious! Do this for inspiration, to look at things you do and don't like in other pieces, but do not do this if it will be likely to cause a mood drop for you.

Do something different and change up your routine. Something entirely new or something you haven't done for a while.

Try something small, not connected to a large piece. A few sketches, doodles, make a meme, write a few short lines of dialogue or a brief scene. Share something with far lower stakes for a little boost.

Talk to others in the creative community and have a bit of fun, maybe try some games together, whatever you like!

I'm Not A Creative, How Can I Help?

This also counts for creatives who want to support each other, too! Of course I will put the caveat that I do understand that not everyone is comfortable visibly interacting with spice and that's fine~

Drop a like or kudos if you enjoyed the piece, it takes a second and means the world~

Leaving a comment, even a couple of silly words of "I loved it" is great!

Leaving a longer comment, picking out your favourite parts? That is the kind of boost that lasts weeks darlings it really does.

Sharing the work is also a big boost, whether publicly or privately to friend/fan groups, but especially when sharing art/images please share the link with it not just the image or a screenshot~ let people find and appreciate the artist.

Follow or Subscribe or Turn on notifications if you really want to see more of their work, then you can interact sooner and give that much needed boost~

Try to be patient, especially with longer or higher effort works. Expressing excitement is a boost, but just be careful you're not putting too much pressure on the creator. We do have things going on behind the screen that can delay our plans at times.

Consider dropping an interaction on something else, or check in on how they're doing in general - a little kindness outside of just the works being produced can be a boost too!

The Grand Finale of the Rollercoaster

Thank you for staying with me to the end darlings, I know this was likely a bit of an emotional ride, but please do drop in some comments or reblogs with the other things you experience and how you handle the emotional whirlwind of being a fan creator. Always remember, you are valued for more than just what you can produce, your works are adored but the person behind them is worth so much more and always will be. Look after yourselves, I love you dearly~

#fanfic #fanart #fan creations #support for creatives #fanfic writing #ao3 writer

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imagionationstation · 3 months

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HI i’m shy but i found your page yesterday and i think your fanfiction and analysis’ are so cool and intriguing!! I mean i read your fanfiction before but i didn’t know you were active here too 🥹 I have 2 questions!!

What are your thoughts on the Creeping Doom episode? Personally I love the episode for the concept and fun moments they gave us but I wish there was more to it somehow? Or that it was more consistent.. I’m not good with words but I’m curious to hear what you think!

I also noticed on one of your posts you said Raph only calls Donnie/Mikey little brother. I never heard him call Donnie that though :( I was wondering if you remember the clip or episode that happened in? That’d make my heart so happy to see hehehe

Thank you for your time bro 🫶🫶🫶

Thank you!! My fanfics and my analysis are my pride and joy so that really means a lot to hear!

I try to drop reminders that I exist in other places whenever I can but (just like with answering asks) I’m really bad at it. Love when people can make connections between my accounts. I do my best to boost 2012tmnt content with every click of a key and get a rush of dopamine when someone can access everything I have to offer!

What are my thoughts on the Creeping Doom ep? Do you have time for an essay or two? Cauuussseee-

Alright. Alright. I’ll keep this… relatively short.

I’m an episode skipper for shows I have little interest in. I don’t normally care about watching them from first season to final season. I just like tasting the random content and putting puzzle pieces of plot together. It makes it more interesting.

So, I know I watched a couple of episodes of 2012TMNT before I watched The Creeping Doom, but it was the first episode that really stood out to me. It essentially made me go, “Omgee, he’s such a sweet, bright little guy- I must learn everything about him.”

Everything about this episode is a wonderful mix of painfully cringe, strangely adorable, and very thought provoking. YEAH. You heard me. It makes me feel things AND have wise thoughts.

It’s the little things that get me. This episode spoke volumes and still does after my many, many rewatches.

FOR EXAMPLE: The brothers always immediately supporting him/assisting him/leading him around like a lost puppy?

(Mikey throwing him is the highlight of his part in this episode, ngl.)

Even BEFORE they know that something is definitely wrong with his brain, they’re supporting him through his off behavior/headache.

Also him pausing to catch Leo and then keeping his unsteady brother upright later on is some prime brotherly content <3<3

AND HE’S JUST SUCH A HAPPY BOY

You can FEEL how tense he is at the beginning of this ep. He’s been carrying this tension- this weight- all season. So much is on his shoulders and he knows he’s running out of time. When he snaps at Mikey, he offers unheeded in vocal hints of I’m busy plz stop being distracting by adding in comment like, “Don’t mess with that! I’m trying to figure out how to reverse engineer this brain worm.”

He’s not even telling him to get out! He’s slightly open to conversation. He’s just trying to communicate that he’s really distracting, but the message isn’t getting across. (And it’s so relatable. He’s not TRYING to be a jerk. He’s trying to stay cool. And I don’t know how many of the show’s audience have little siblings, but when you’re struggling and they’re loud, that only makes things worse. You love them but can’t they let you think?!)

He STRESSED. And rightfully so.

The second that the memory loss kicks in and he forgets everything scary/daunting/concerning happening around him- he’s such a happy and carefree teen. Zero problems. Zero concerns.

NOTHING that he’s doing comes off as weird or abnormal to him. He finds joy in fire and french fries and tinkling vials and ‘squirrels’ and naming things and rediscovering his brothers. He loves doing random things to get his older brother’s attention, anything from shoving metal objects in his mouth to stealing their masks. This is probably the most joy we see for a LONG time and it’s all so PURE.

And he GENUINELY does NOT understand why his brothers are calling him out for being odd. He’s just vibing all ep.

He can’t remember why they left him behind, so, OBVIOUSLY, he needs to go find them- and that random spotlight in the alleyway was NEAT and he found REAL above-ground fires and squirrels. Didn’t they want the ShellRaiser to stop anyway?

He was helping! What’s the big deal? Silly brothers.

And on the same card, there’s a subtle sort of angst. Watching Donnie slowly descends into a dependent child without truly understanding what’s happening to him. Every time that he remembers that he forgot something, a confused fear entered his tone. He knows it’s wrong but he can’t understand why.

His head hurts and his hand itches and he thinks he might be spacey but how is any of that connected and since when did Creep get free and what are they all doing on the surface anyway, and, wait, are they fighting- is that the Creep how did he get free?!

And that fact that he keeps asking the same questions gets me every time. He’s so oblivious and that’s terrifying. He’s used to knowing everything but every thought is slipping through his fingers.

Then we reach the point where he can’t even muster the curiosity to wonder if his brother repeatedly saying something’s wrong with him is weird. He’s just going with it. Any chance they may have had to figure this out is now long gone.

And the multiple references to the fact that they can’t do much without Donnie make me wish this realization would have gone somewhere. The potential of Donnie giggling and playing while his brothers watch their world crash down would have been PERFECT.

It would be SUCH A CONTRAST to Good Genes! Instead of losing him to an angry, vengeful beast that is nothing like him, they’re essentially losing Donnie to himself. This is their brother, no question about it, and they have to watch him deteriorate before their eyes.

Holy Chalupa, I can TASTE that angst. It’s drilling at my soul.

But, sadly, I’ll just have to take what I can get. This type of scenario will simply live rent free in my brain. Along with other ones like this definitely canon scene that’s definitely scripted definitely.

Uh. There was another thing.

OH YEAH-

I don’t know what episode it’s from. I went looking for the quote in my favorites but didn’t find it. Don’t really have enough hours to scan every season. Of course, I would have sworn that Mikey has never said “Don” in the 2012 series a few months ago, and he totally surprised me by saying it in Newtralized. So.

I could be wrong. I can hear his voice saying it clearly in my head like many quotes, but I’m a writer, so that could just be my brain playing tricks on me.

I believe that I am right, but if proven otherwise, I will concede to my incorrect assumptions. Silly trickster brain O’mine.

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hypervoxel · 2 months

Text

Enough discourse, I wanna post about headcanons

The Vees are a polycule to me, but in a way that I can't even explain without an entire slowburn fanfic (stay tuned. I'm a slow writer). But I will try.

Velvette:

I do adhere to the lesbian Velvette headcanon. She's dating Vox and still occasionally joins Valentino for a threesome with him. When she first joined the Vees, Velvette used to identify as bisexual (and still loves the bi flag colors the most) and all three of them used to date, before Velvette realized that she's a lesbian.

She and Vox are still dating, and they have an open relationship.

Vox:

Vox's response to Velvette coming out was, "So you're breaking up with Val?" Yes, his pronouns are he/him. No, he's not a man. He'd long shed the fleshy confines of humanity and gender along with it.

Vox is aspec, agender, autistic. To me. He's sex favorable of the 'I want to do it for my partner's enjoyment' flavor. Watching from cameras brings him just as much enjoyment, and he watches everything and everyone, living vicariously, a voyer through the screen. As a result of that, he's so so touched starved, but his sense of feeling is muted (the consequences of betraying flesh in favor of the machine). Soft touches to his synthetic skin don't really register, his sense of feeling restricted to mostly pressure and pain, so he's become a bit of a masochist in response because that's something physical.

Valentino:

He just likes sex. He chases pleasure in any form he can find, dopamine rushes from numerous drugs, orgasmic release, the rush of power from crushing someone underfoot. Anything and everything, he'll try it all. And none of it is really enough, so he'll never stop chasing more.

Valentino doesn't consider his relationship with Vox romantic, even if Vox totally does. They're friends, sure, business partners, absolutely, and fuckbuddies wherever Val is in the mood for it. But romance isn't Val's thing. That's hard work, and Val saves romancing for potential new hires he wants to sign a contract with. What Vox and he have is also written down on a contract, joining their businesses together too closely to be parted without blood, but it's not the same. Not to Val. So, he wouldn't call Vox his boyfriend, but he also wouldn't correct anyone who said they were. Vox is someone he can let his guard down with, one of the few people who would never want to get out of the contract their names are signed on. They work well together. That's better than any romance you can get in Hell, Val thinks.

Val and Velvette are catty besties. Pan/Lesbian solidarity and hostility all in one.

#the vees #hazbin hotel vees #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #okay i hate typing official tag. we're done here #not done with rambling in the tags tho #ace Vox vs Alastor having wildly different experiences with their sexuality so that even tho they are the same sexuality‚#that only drives them further apart. is something that can be so meaningful #to me!!#also human Vox in my own little headcanon world had So Many body issues that becoming a TV was an improvement to him #but it's hell so he's still disconnected from his own body by the fact that his skin isn't flesh and doesn't feel #the nerves he came to hate have burned away and the fibre optics glowing inside of him are cold‚ unfeeling light #and now he would rather feel pain than feel nothing #he's rewired his sensors so that pain becomes pleasure - or as close to such that he can feel #velvette is the newest vee of course and she was dropped right in to Vox and Val's situationship #and she quickly found out that Vox doesn't just like watching - he also likes being watched. it was not shocking discovery #he likes her watching Val and him fuck‚ he likes Val watching her fuck him.#and he loves cuddling at the end. she loves it too. they can be so soft. i can make them be soft >:3 #so import to me that their relationships are so fucking toxic tho. they're soft and they're horrible <3 #Ace Vox

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goldenbloodytears · 1 month

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Do u think Danny would be okay with having his SO be his partner in crime. I feel like it really depends but I think he would be open to it as long as like he was still the one calling the shots you get me? Been thinking about this one all day 😭

An ask in my ask box! Oh boy! Thanks Anon :) So this is actually a concept I've been toying with for a while in relation to the magnum opus fanfic I've had brewing in my head for five years. Gonna put a read more since this got long thanks to my rambling; warning for brief mention of partner murder.

Edit: changed some wording for clarity.

I don't think he would react well to an SO knowing his secret in a regular situation unless he was dead certain this person isn't going to betray him. So, obviously, becoming his partner in crime is going to involve blackmail. If his SO accidentally or purposefully kills somebody? Does some other crime or horrible thing they don't want revealed? That's going to be used. I think there's also just the inherent threat of personal harm... But I don't see him doing that unless pushed into the situation--I think if something did result in the death of the SO he would be sad about it... like very angry sad. Look what you made me do kinda. Like somebody just took a toy away from him. I don't really subscribe to yandere style headcanons for him personally, but I definitely think he is possessive.

Anyways back to my point... I think Danny would enjoy having somebody know. I think it must be lonely and a little isolating the way he lives... and humans are social creatures.

I think when it comes to his SO acting as a partner in crime, doing murders... my personal headcanon on the matter is he's... rather into it? I don't think he would go out of his way to influence somebody into murder/violence (what is he? his old man? lol) but I think there's a kind of... appreciation for a display of strength like that. Even if it was an accident. He's gonna clean the blood of them and it's the most sensual experience he's ever had--his head is gonna SPIN! I actually think he would be completely caught by surprise, like discovering a kink you didn't know you had (I mean that's exactly what it is, let's be real) He's been formed into this person to be okay with violence and it's not something he really gets to share/experience with people. He's not a veteran so he can't share "war stories" of his experiences, the closest he would get to this kind of thing for the average person is maybe hunting... but there's a keen difference in hunting a human than, say, a deer? I think having an SO as a partner in crime would be... like toxic good for him... I'm assuming the SO is a willing partner in crime. I can see him really enjoying somebody gassing up his ego (totally tempted to make a Harley/Joker comparison here). HOWEVER, I do think he would be an absolute pain in the ass about his works, his stories... I don't see him sharing Ghost Face with somebody, so it would be convincing him to either change gears to something else, or putting up with that.

One change I could see happening is having the SO, if they have writing chops or come from a journalism background, taking over the paper-writing/reporting aspect. The original background in-game (not the tome) mentions that some of the articles he's kept were not written by him, so as much as I feel like this is still an imperative part of his modus operandi, it's clear he still takes a nice fat dopamine hit for the sake of his ego from other people writing about him too... and therefore I could see him being flexible with it, because if the SO is his partner in crime, he can still influence what they write--he just doesn't have to work double shifts anymore LOL

Is it too cracked up to make a joke about Danny and his partner-in-crime SO getting a house in some random town and posing as a totally normal man and his spouse by day but then murdering people by night? IDK you decide. I'm kinda just picturing that one song by the Mountain Goats.

#danny johnson #dbd ghostface #dead by daylight #ghostface #danny jed olsen johnson #headcanons #ghostface x reader #ghostface x oc #ghostface x you #partners in crime AU

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