#fives is always cheating
arrothededushka · 4 months ago
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untilthelightsgodown · a month ago
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So, fun legends arceus fact. When you press A summon braviary while falling, when he flies up he doesn't fly up as far as a From the ground summon. BUT. Say, if youre riding Wyrdeer and you leap off of a cliff and toggle over to Braviary w the control pad, He flies up the normal amount. Farther than the A button press. Although it takes abt. Second and a half for a toggle summon instead of being instant. I've been falling to my death a lot lately.
#Wes art moment#TheDandy#volo from my games <3#'Wes did you make a whole comic because you kept falling to your death ' Yes. But also because the save mechanic#And also many other mechanics of the game being. A game. Implemented into a story/lore bit. Is my bread and butter#also I save every other fucking minute. I've never lost a bag when I die in legends arceus because I turn the game offBFJDJCN#dont TRY to tell me its cheating. soft resetting has been a game feature from the beginning. There used to even be buttons denoted to it#sighs. the L+R+select days...... I remember them fondly#But anyways Yeah i do not waste my legends supplies because that's annoying and I have better things to do. I save before I use my aguavs#And if theres nothing cool at the outbreak??? the games goes off babey! I'm keeping those five berries!#Volo hangs out with Dandy more and seeing as it happens when hes in its presence. He notices the resets happen very often#Volo: ... did you just reset because you dropped your hot pocket on the ground#Dandy:#Dandy: Why are you even asking??? I dropped my HOT POCKET on the FLOOR.#also i had to cut the first picture because. Tumblr only let me upload 10. The first pic just had Volo w Dandy yelling VOLOOOO offscreen#also. inaccurate bc I always leap off w wyrdeer. but i did not want to draw the deer falling to their death.#I'll beat the absolute shit out of dandy in my art but hurting a pokemon??? 0/10 Hate it Makes me feel bad#I feel bad falling while on wyrdeer in game I see the red pain box and im like //grits teeth// shit aaough dammit#added the clip to show toggle delay but also#fucking ursaluna floating is so funny. is that fucking ursaluna??? ABXBSBFN
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wakeful-watcher · a year ago
I’ve said it before but the absolute AUDACITY of naming the DreamSMP fandom “mcyt” like y’all realize there are other??? people???? who make youtube videos?????? about minecraft???????????
“We are the Movie Fandom, we’re all big fans of movies. Which movies? Thor Ragnarok. Yeah, just that one. What do you mean, other movies?”
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rohirric-hunter · 24 days ago
I walk into the hobnanigans fields. I identify a field that is missing some sticks. I start to cheat the field both to get tokens for myself and to reset it for anyone wanting to actually play a game. Three people come and stand in the field and go AFK?????
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problematicprocrastinator · 7 months ago
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goodbyetommyyy · 6 months ago
hiiiii againnnnn <3
(headspin happiness bastille)
I'm gonna get you in my head, in my head, in my head
Every little part of me
I've lived a lot of different lives
Tried to keep you close to me
When I was a kid, the things I did were hidden under the grid
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lecliss · a year ago
Alvin, what the fuck does "a man needs space to sow his wild oats" mean??? What does it mean??? What does it MEAN!?!?!? ALVIN?????
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a-crack-kinda-girl · 11 months ago
A look to each of their family dynamics as Lalo and Nacho start becoming their own person. [So I wrote a tini tiny character exploration thingy…]
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lafemmedezemo · 10 months ago
ahh thanks so much for tagging me @lindir and happy early birthday!! 🖤🖤🖤
get to know your mutuals!! when you get this, it means i want to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing.
i’m currently 21 and in college (not literally my semester starts next month:) and i’m studying art and english.
i trained to be a professional ballerina for over 10 years, and i will forever joke that it is eerily like the red room.
i’m obsessed with fashion and i have a soft spot for fashion history. this has led to absolutely none of my family and friends ever wanting to watch historical movies with me ever again.
i really want to be a polyglot. i speak spanish, am currently studying french, but i also know a little german and catalan.
i’m really bad at deciding on favorite anythings so i always pick two. for example, my two favorite books are pride and prejudice and frankenstein and my two favorite marvel movies are captain america: winter soldier and guardians of the galaxy vol. 2
no pressure tags (if you’ve been tagged before or don’t feel like doing it pretend i’m tagging you in a hug:) @spookyspiderboiii @rosemaremembrance @bruehl @bigtiddythanos @scuttle-buttle and anyone who wants an excuse to overshare with their followers!
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fourtccn · 8 months ago
the first “sims” game i ever played was this one that was on like a sidekick phone and i have no clue how or where i got it but i remember staying up very late when i was like nine just kissing all the same gender people in the game and sleeping with everyone and i got an achievement for being the town slut but the problem was when i later got the sims 3 on ds you couldn’t like sleep with people or kiss people of the same gender. you couldn’t even have children or age at all. and you could only create one character at a time. so what i would do is break up a shitton of couples and make men leave their wives for my characters (always women) and then i would directly cheat in front of them and get in a physical fight with them and when you got a divorce it played a little divorce animation. let’s be clear here and say that i only played the first game for like a few hours and the second one i played for years and years and both of them stick with me to this day even though i don’t remember a LOT of my childhood
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unwillingadventurer · 2 years ago
We’ve been pigeon watching and every day two pigeons sit together and nuzzle each other so we’ve named them Raffles and Bunny naturally. Bunny has a really distinctive pattern so we know he’s there every day but now he’s sitting alone cooing and Raffles has disappeared. Let’s hope he’s just on a rest cure and not the other alternative. 
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roughentumble · a year ago
im realizing that that kind of gives sitcom couple vibes, and oh i hate that, sitcom hisband and wife couples are the WORST they are just mean to each other in the worst way
i want more like. elaborate prank wars, maybe..... possibly kismeses-lite.
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therukurals · a year ago
tag meme: list 3-5 snippets of literature/media that live in your head rent-free to the point where you have them memorised; write them down from memory, no cheating allowed! 
Tagged by @gimme-a-chocolate and tag anyone who wants to do this 
it is our duty to fight for our freedom. it is our duty to win. we must love each other and support each other. we have nothing to lose but our chains - Assata Shakur
Free your mind and your ass will follow  - Parliament Funkadelic
கற்க கசடறக் கற்பவை கற்றபின் நிற்க அதற்குத் தக - Thiruvalluvar// learn thoroughly apply what you have learned and live by the principles of what you have learned 
அறம் செய விரும்பு // seek to do good - Avvaiyar 
You can jail a revolutionary but you can’t jail a revolution. - Fred Hampton
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eatureyesout · 3 years ago
honestly a wlw couple is the only valid choice on the sims cause making boys is fucking boring yo
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blahblahblahcollapse · 7 months ago
wait wait wait y’all are really gonna tell me that Choi Jongho has been a member of At--z all this time and i just never knew about him cause the only members i ever see people yelling about are Yeosang and Wooyoung?
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heavysoldat · 4 days ago
neighbor!bucky barnes x housewife!reader
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devastated by the spreading talk of your husband’s affair, you’re desperate to find a way to get back at him— and who to do it with.
warnings: smut (cunnilingus, unprotected sex, dirty talk, manhandling, praise & light degradation, creampie, breeding) mutual cheating, insecurities, hints to abusive relationships
(highly inspired by this song)
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“How is it?”
The incessant whirring of the washing machine is tunneling in your head, adding to the stress induced migraine you’ve already received. But the man in front of you is more than chipper, smiling as he takes in more of the pie you’ve prepared.
“Amazing.” James compliments, mouth full of cherries and crust.
You give him a smile; weak, barely breaching your smile lines- but if he notices, he doesn’t say anything.
“You just seemed hungry.” You muse. “Working outside all morning has gotta make you starved.”
“Well, I won’t turn down a fresh pie, that’s for sure.” He says, washing his mouth down with the lemonade you generously whipped up.
“Your husbands gonna be one happy man, comin’ home to this.” James wipes his face down with a patterned napkin, leaning back into the oakwood dining chair.
You stare ahead blankly, trying to push away the anxiety that’s eating into your stomach like termites— but nothing goes. You can’t explain what you’re feeling, what you’ve been hearing. The secret your husband has been keeping of his affair had no longer been kept, revealed to you by your best friend in town.
She told you about how she saw him, heard him with one of his female colleagues, noticed how much time they spend together daily. How often they both seem to be working late.
The pain you had felt had eaten at you rabidly. You spent days festering, barely able to clean the house without breaking down in sobs, thankful that your husband worked a nine to five and didn’t see the way he made you ache.
You couldn’t give him that. You wouldn’t.
“He’s working late today.” You say, smile deteriorating. “Probably won’t be home until I’m asleep. He’s not that big of a fan of my cooking, anyway.”
James’ eyebrows furrow, “Does he not have tastebuds? You’re a genius in the kitchen, I swear.”
That makes your cheeks heat up, adding to the warmth of the summer weather. “Well, thank you, James.”
“Friends call me Bucky.” He winks, crossing his arms against his chest.
“Bucky it is.” You say.
Bucky is a well-dressed, hard working man from across the street, always tending to his yard or making the exterior of his house fresh. You had always found him attractive. From the day he moved in a few months back he had been in the back of your mind, swirling.
You kept pushing it back, determined to be a faithful doting wife— but it seems that ideal was one-sided.
That gave you an excuse, and excuse to make your vaulted desires come forward. You won’t let your husband see you suffer, but you will let him see you thrive.
You even put on your nicest dress.
“You don’t work?” Bucky asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“Oh, no.” You say, “I’m a homemaker.”
“You should be a chef.” He jokes, picking at his plate with a fork.
You giggle, “I don’t have the time.”
“Eh, well,” He says, cleaning off the rest of his dish, “Guess I’ll have to be your pie test subject, then.”
That makes you smile, but more genuine- a spread of butterflies flowing inside your stomach.
You stand up to grab his plate, picking it up and carrying it to the sink to wash.
“Oh, I would’ve gotten that.” Bucky says, sitting up.
“No, no, it’s fine!” You say. “You’ve been working. I got it.”
You bend down to get dish soap, making a show of letting your dress skirt ride up to air your white, lace panties. You linger for just a second too long, before coming back up and actually washing his plate.
As you head back, you wipe off your skirt, dusting off anything that had gotten on it. You don’t miss the way he stares at your thighs, nor the way his eyes drift to your chest as you lean forward.
“I should probably go. Gotta lot to work on.”
As he stands, you grasp his arm, stopping him. “So soon? I could make you some more lemonade.”
You watch as he eyes your hand on his arm, thumbing his flannel with rubbed circles, then gazing back at you.
“As much as I’d love that, I’m pretty behind. I’ll definitely be back, sweets.”
You smile, reaching to paw at his other arm. “I like your company. It gets lonely here, without my husband… having you around is nice.”
“I’m glad.” Bucky says, staring down at you. “I like your company, too, doll.”
You bite down on your lip, playing at the strings of his flannel. “Then why don’t you stay? Just for a little while longer?”
Bucky’s eyes narrow, taking a long, considerate pause.
“If I didn’t know any better-“ He notes, speaking slowly, “I’d say you had ulterior motives for invitin’ me over.”
You give him your best doe-eyed look, letting him sit in the silence.
Of course you did. You got up early, dawned on your nicest matching lingerie set and prettiest dress- just to bake a pie and lemonade for him. It’s pathetic, it’s desperate, but you haven’t felt this giddy since you first started dating your husband.
Bucky’s eyes widen just enough to expose the whites of it. He doesn’t know what to say, really, eyes flickering from to every point he can, debating every option that’s being presented to him on fucking porcelain.
“Your husband…” He trails.
“He’s not here.” You note. “He won’t be for a while. I told you he’s working late.”
“What are you playin’ at here, exactly?”
You contemplate what to say, how to say it. You’re unsure if it’s even a good idea, if you’re more motivated by revenge or desire— but both are clouding your head.
“I want you to fuck me like he never could.”
Bucky can’t help the way his mouth opens. He can feel his cock throb in his jeans, already half hard since he saw you in that godforsaken dress. You’re like the devil.
“I don’t wanna be the guy who ruins a marriage.” He objects, despite his own desires.
“Trust me,” Your hand rises up to grip his face, “It’s already been ruined.”
Bucky’s hands move almost against his will. Sliding down your back, hovering over your ass under your dress, his breathing shaky.
“He doesn’t fuck you right? That it?”
“He doesn’t fuck me at all, cause he’s too busy fucking another woman.”
That settles it for him.
His mouth practically swallows yours, hands grabbing your ass with force while his tongue invades your mouth. You can do nothing but moan, whining into his throat as you hold onto him.
He turns, picking you up and placing you on the kitchen table. You clatter against silverware, but he pushes them off before they stab into your skin- letting them clammer onto the tiled floor.
He moves to press open mouth kisses on your neck, already pulling the cups of your dress down, followed by your bra to reveal your breasts. He wraps a hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking as he massages the other one, reveling in the way you moan above him.
Bucky’s pushing up your skirt, pressing kisses down your stomach and your legs. He mouths around your inner thighs, teasing to where you need him most.
“Please,” You pant, pinching at your own nipples.
Bucky sliiiiides your panties down your legs, letting them fall to the ground beneath you. He lets out a grunt at the sight of your pussy, glistening and wet. Just for him.
“Your husband make you this wet?”
“Mm-mm,” You hum, “Never.”
That makes him grin. A shit-eating, cocky, son-of-a-bitch grin, but god, is it sexy.
He presses kisses to your mound, before licking a broad stripe up your folds. That has you moaning, legs squirming- but he’s quick to hold you back down.
You’re gasping while he sucks around your clit, fingers catching in your wet hole and sliding in and out. He’s moaning at your taste, sending vibrations against your clit that have you reeling.
He’s practically buried himself inside your cunt, devouring you like cherry pie. His mouth moves to suck down, before his tongue slides into your hole, his fingers replacing his tongues previous placement at your clit.
“I’m- I’m close,” You whine, pulling at his dark hair.
You feel his movements get faster, urging you to teeter off that edge. The high he’s building is unlike one you’ve felt— it’s cold, lighting inside your legs and stomach, building up so tight you can feel it about to snap.
And when it finally does, Bucky has to hold you still. He’s moaning with you, letting you ride out your orgasm by using his face.
When you come down, you’re panting, watching as he comes back up with a glistening mouth. He wipes off the sides, sucking around his fingers to get the last of your taste.
You reach out for him, which he gladly accepts. He brings you in for another kiss, reaching down to unbuckle his belt and pull down his jeans.
“You want me to fuck you?”
“Mhm,” You moan, legs still tingling with a post-orgasmic haze.
“Say it, honey.” Bucky grunts, pulling down his boxers and stroking at his cock. You whimper at the sight— it’s thick, bigger than your husband’s, tip practically weeping.
“I need you to fuck me, please, I want it so fucking bad.” You beg, watching as he slides the head of his cock around your folds. “Please.”
Bucky’s cock catches in your hole, sliding into your wet heat with ease. You both whine at the feeling of him bottoming out, pressing kisses around every piece of skin on the other you can reach.
“Fuck,” He moans. “So fuckin’ tight, honey— he really doesn’t fuck ya, does he? This was all you needed, a good fuck, someone to make you cum hard, treat ya like the little slut you are. Well I’m here, honey, and I’m fuckin’- shit, I’m not leaving.”
He starts to fuck into you, balls slapping against your ass with the furious pace he’s already set. He’s grunting, groaning at the feeling of your warm cunt, head thrown back in pleasure.
“Yeah,” You moan, whining at the feeling of him using your pussy, “Fuck, just like that, please!”
“Yeah? You like that?” He moans, “Like me fuckin’ using your pussy?”
You can’t reply- too fucked out. You just moan, mumbling incoherently, pussy clenching around his moving length.
Bucky slaps at one of your tits; making you yelp, but then he sucks the nipple into his mouth with a groan. You tug at his hair, reveling in how it makes him borderline whimper.
You rub circles around your clit, desperate to get off, despite already coming so recently. He grunts at the sight, pulling off your nipple with a pop—
“Fuck, you gonna cum again?” Bucky groans, grabbing your hips to fuck into you harder, “It feels that good? Fuck, Wanna see you cream on my cock, be a good girl. C’mon.”
Another orgasm washes over you. It’s not as intense as the first one, but still leg twitching, making you curl into yourself.
“Oh god, that’s fuckin’ it,” Bucky groans, gasping, “Feels so good, baby, you have no idea.”
You whine in overstimulation as he keeps fucking you, whimpering when he reaches down to start rubbing your clit again.
“Need you to give me one more.”
“I can’t,” You whine.
“You can.” He rasps, “You fuckin’ will. Be a good girl, doll, gimme one more. Fuck, I need it.”
You’re clawing at his back, wetness practically drenching his cock. You know you’re leaving scratch marks, probably even drawing blood- but he doesn’t seem to care. If anything, it spurs him on.
“I’m coming,” You whine, “Oh god, I can’t-“
Your third orgasm rips through you sharper than the others, leaving you trembling under his hold. All you can hear his harsh groans and grunts, praising you for how good you did for him.
“Shit,” Bucky grunts, sweat dripping down his face, “I’m so fuckin’ close.”
You wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him in closer and locking him inside.
“Fuck, honey-“ He stutters, “I gotta pull out, I can’t- you gotta let go, I can’t pull out.”
You shake your head, whining, “Cum in me, please.”
That makes him whine. “You want me to come in you? Fill up that slutty pussy?”
You nod rapidly, clenching your legs around him tighter. You can tell he’s close by how his thrusts stutter, cock throbbing inside your cunt.
“Your husbands gonna come home today, not knowing his pretty little wife has a pussy full of another man’s cum,” Bucky taunts, “But you love that, don’t you?”
“Yeah- yes, I love it.” You moan, grabbing onto him.
“Oh god- beg me for it.”
“Please cum inside me.”
“Fuck, you can do better than that,”
“Please!” You shout, “Cum inside me, I want it- I want it so fucking bad. I need you to fill up my pussy, please, Bucky.”
With one last, loud, bellowing groan, he stills above you, pumping you full of every last drop he has. He almost fully collapses, both of you left panting and spent.
After a moment, he stands up, wiping the sweat off his forehead before helping you correct your clothing malfunctions.
“Hey, uh,” Bucky says, pushing your hair back out of your face. “You ever make another pie that needs testing, you know where to find me.”
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leejihoonownsmyheart · 13 days ago
New Rules
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Title: New Rules
Genre: basketballplayer!mingyu, collegestudent!reader, fakedating!au, fluff, angst, s2l, smut
Tags/Warnings: Cheating, heartbreak, gender neutral reader, slow burn, smut, creampie, unprotected :/, general arguments between the reader and some characters, alcohol drinking, hurt and comfort, 26k words
This is a part of a sports collaboration being hosted by @gyukult​ . Thank you so much for the opportunity to write this I seriously never would have come up with this idea and written this had it not been for this collab!
Kim Mingyu is the star basketball player of your schools' team, and one of the most popular boys in your entire University. You’re just a college student with the best boyfriend in the world.
You stared at the lake in front of you, your eyebrows furrowing in concentration. You felt the breeze blow through the trees, and you shivered a little despite the warm fall sun beating down on you.
You weren’t cold for long, after only a moment warm arms wrapped around your body, tugging you close. You smiled, a giggle leaving your lips.
“Come on, I’m trying to enjoy the view while it lasts.”
“I’m not distracting you.”
A fleeting kiss was pressed to your cheek, which you tried to laugh off. You wiggled against him, trying to get out of his grasp but ended up being unsuccessful. You struggled a little more in his arms only to be spun towards him, pulled into a deep kiss.
You smiled against his lips.
“You’re stupid,” you mumbled.
“Shhh I’m trying to kiss you.”
You wished that days like this never ended. You wanted to stay like this until the end of time. You wanted to feel the sun on your skin and hold onto the love of your life. But you knew that you two couldn’t stay like this forever. You pulled away from him and looked at your boyfriend of five years.
“I never want this day to end.”
Donghyun looked at you like you were everything he had ever wanted in life.
“Me neither.”
You two stared at one another for a few moments before Donghyun finally sighed, pulling you close against his chest.
“But, unfortunately, we have to finish this hike and get home before it gets too dark out.”
A pout crossed your lips, but you knew he was right. You pulled away again and reached up to mess with his hair. He had dyed it blonde recently, at first you hadn’t thought it would look very good on him, but upon having it dyed for a while you had grown to like it. His hair was kind of long too, falling past his ears.
You reached over and tucked a few strands behind his ear. When you finally thought that his appearance was appeasing again you slid your hand into his and began to drag him forward.
“Are you ready to get back to school?” He asked. “I bet you miss Jaeyun and Rei.”
You smiled at the mention of your friends, but you decided to play it off coyly.
“Hm, I bet they miss me more,” you mumbled. A laughed erupted from Donghyun’s chest and you two’s hands swung between each other. “It’ll be nice to be back on a schedule. I miss going to classes and working.”
Again a laugh came from Donghyun.
“That’s what I love about you,” he said in awe. “You actually miss working. I would rather be here on vacation forever.”
He swung you around in front of him causing you to giggle and leaned in close to you, pressing a kiss to your lips.
“As long as you were here with me that is.”
You rolled your eyes.
Donghyun was a romantic. He had been for as long as you had known him, even if he wouldn’t admit it. While you tended to get lost in your studies and hardly messaged him, he was always planning extravagant evenings and telling you just how much he loved and needed you in his life.
Five years ago, relationships hadn’t been your thing. Now, you were happier than you had ever imagined you could be.
“You’re dumb Donghyun.”
He hummed, nodding in agreement.
“Maybe,” he mumbled. “I’m going to a party the day after we get back.”
“Quite the way to start the semester,” you teased. He rolled his eyes.
“You’re just jealous that’s all.”
“I’d rather be studying then stuffed between a bunch of stuffy college students who smell like weed and alcohol,” you said. Donghyun laughed again.
“You and your books,” he said affectionately. He took another look at the lake in front of you two and shook his head.
“I guess everything has to end at some point.”
“There you are,” Jaeyun said, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. “Gone for a weekend and you still think you’re too good for us huh?”
“Not a single message or picture,” Rei agreed joining him by his side. A teasing pout crossed your lips.
“Aw did you guys miss me?” You whined teasingly. “How domestic.”
You laughed as they both rushed up to you, lightly hitting you with their fists.
“Okay! I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I missed you guys too, but you know how I am.”
Both Rei and Jaeyun pulled away from you, their fake expressions of anger gone from their faces.
“I don’t suppose you are going to come to the party tonight as a formal apology?” Rei asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, that’s plausible.”
Jaeyun groaned.
“You are no fun, Donghyun is going, and I bet he would love to have you there.”
You highly doubted that was true. Whenever you had been dragged to parties by Rei and Jaeyun they had all abandoned you, and Donghyun had just near pretended that you weren’t there. It was fine, he liked his time with his friends, and you didn’t blame him for that. You liked to have time away from him too and that was something that he respected you for.
“You guys will be fine without me,” you said with a roll of your eyes.
Rei didn’t look to happy about that response, but Jaeyun was already done with the topic.
Jaeyun and Rei were your two best friends in the entire world. While Jaeyun was a tall boy who was constantly dying his hair different colors, Rei was a level-headed skater girl with shoulder length hair that was currently the same shade of purple as Jaeyun’s.
The two had tried to convince you to dye your hair too but in no universe were you willing to dye your hair purple.
Your schedule was pretty much the same every day. You went to classes, studied between, ate lunch with your friends and then went to work for the day. Your schedule was strict, but it made you feel like you had more control in your life. You didn’t like it when things happened that were out of your control.
Luckily for you, pretty much everyone in your life knew that and they were careful to make sure you stayed comfortable in your own skin.
When you got home from work and your phone went off you weren’t very amused. You had told your friends a million times that you didn’t want any part of their party, but when you saw the message from Jaeyun it was a little different then you were expecting.
Your boyfriend is wasted, you should come pick him up
You sighed; you didn’t often have to pick up Donghyun from parties. He was a pretty responsible drinker. So, you didn’t mind having to every once in a while.
You threw on some normal clothes and grabbed your keys, heading straight to the party.
There were too many people at the party for you to be able to find Rei or Jaeyun, much less Donghyun. You weaved through people for about ten minutes before finally you just started asking people if they had seen him.
“Donghyun? Is that him over there with Jennie?”
You could almost swear that time stopped when you turned around.
You had never had your heart broken before. You had the perfect life. The perfect grades, the perfect friends, the perfect boyfriend.
You had never really imagined what it would be like if Donghyun betrayed your trust because no part of you had imagined he was capable of it. He loved you. That was something that you believed undoubtedly. He gave you his time, his energy, he remembered the things about you that no one else remembered.
He hadn’t been bad to you. He never raised his voice or got angry with you. Everyone you had met had always been so jealous and Donghyun’s eyes had never even strayed from yours.
“How long do you think we are going to be together?” You whispered, burying your face in Donghyun’s chest. You couldn’t see his face, but you could feel his heart beating, and feel as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer.
You didn’t even realize that you were still looking at him until someone bumped into you. Then it was like the sight of what was before you finally set in. Donghyun had his arms wrapped around Jennie, his face hidden beneath hers.
The guy beside you laughed and nudged you in the side roughly.
“Yo, just wait until the person dating Donghyun sees this!”
He looked over at you, his smile faltering.
“Wait, aren’t you...?”
That was what snapped Donghyun into the present. You watched as he pulled away from Jennie, pulling her tighter against his body as their hips swayed together. He laughed victoriously to his friends, as if he had done something spectacular and no one around could really believe it.
And then his eyes met yours.
You stood in front of the mirror, frowning as you ran your hand down your shirt.
“Do you like this?” You asked. “I don’t kn-”
You interrupted yourself with a sigh. Who were you kidding? You hated how you looked in this outfit. It hardly flattered your figure and you felt like it made you look bigger than you really were-
“You look beautiful,” Donghyun said, coming up behind you and spinning you away from the mirror. He whistled and shook his head as he got a better look at you. “How on Earth did I get someone as beautiful as you?”
Your face flushed red, and you dropped your eyes from Donghyun’s.
Before you could finish what you said, Donghyun had his fingers gripping your chin, turning your gaze back to his.
“Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as beautiful as you.”
You didn’t think you had ever seen Donghyun move faster. He scrambled to get himself unraveled from Jennie, his hands flying to his hair as if that would change the fact that her hands had been in it moments before.
“Shit babe, it’s not what it looks like.”
You didn’t move, you couldn’t think. You felt something salty seep between your lips. You sniffled and raised your hands to your face, wiping the tears over your cheeks.
You turned from Donghyun- You couldn’t look at him anymore. You felt yourself beginning to move through the crowd of people, moving faster as you heard him growing closer.
“Come on, don’t-” He bumped into someone. “Stop- Let me just explain-”
You didn’t respond, you just started running faster. You pushed past people, tears running down your cheeks so rapidly you couldn’t see. You had to be close to the door now, then all you had to do was get out of here and go home and-
You slammed into someone’s hard chest. You would have fallen but the person caught your wrist steadying you with a hearty laugh.
“Woah there, careful where you’re-”
You looked up and he stopped talking. It was a little hard to figure out who was standing there in front of you with all the tears in your eyes. All you could see was that he was tall, and his hair was dark, and his grip on you was tight.
“Are you...?”
Before he could finish Donghyun let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank god, look it’s not what it looked like-” You felt his hand touch your shoulder and it forced a sob from out of your lips. You pressed your lips together firmly and pushed yourself further into the guy that had caught you as you choked out the first words that you could muster:
“Leave me alone.”
Donghyun didn’t try to touch you again but you could hear his breathing nonetheless. He was close to you. He was too close to you.
“Come on, please let me just talk to you,” Donghyun pleaded. “I can explain everything.”
You didn’t respond. You didn’t trust your own voice. Honestly, you didn’t even trust your own mind. Had your eyes really seen Donghyun kissing Jennie? Surely not. They were just friends, and he had never given you any reason to suspect that he thought of her as anything else. You had trusted him. But maybe that was the problem right there. You trusted him. Why weren’t you trusting him right now? Maybe he could explain it.
You sniffled and peeked from out of the strangers chest, risking a look at Donghyun. His eyes were red. He looked desperate for you to give him a chance. You could visibly see him breath in relief at having seen you.
“You were kissing Jennie,” you whispered, your voice broken. He nodded and held his hand out to you.
“Let me explain, let me explain,” he mumbled. “I love you more than anyone, you know that?”
Of course, you knew that Donghyun loved you. He had been with you the longest of anyone. He was your biggest supporter, always by your side. You loved him too. Without him you were nothing. You sniffled and nodded.
“You can explain?” You asked.
“I can explain,” he repeated. You started to pull yourself away from the person that you had run into but before you could make it very far, the grip on your forearm tightened.
“I know I should stay out of it but I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” You looked up at the person. He looked so familiar, but your vision was still blurry.
“What the fuck dude, back off.”
That was odd. You looked over at Donghyun your eyes wide. You had never heard him address someone so angrily before. His eyes flitted towards you and it was like he could hear your thoughts. His expression softened.
“Babe, who are you going to listen to? Him?” He gestured towards the person that was holding you still. “Or me?”
He spread his arms out in such an inviting way. All you wanted right now was to hug him. Maybe if you did you would be able to pretend like this hadn’t happened. You could close your eyes and go back to the you that hadn’t seen him kissing Jennie.
“Hey.” You looked up at the boy who was holding you. He leaned in close to you so that you could feel his breath on your ear. “Cheaters never change.”
Your eyes flickered to Donghyun who was watching you two with large eyes.
“You can let him manipulate you into going back to him, and you can get your heartbroken or-” His other hand rose slowly to your waist. He was careful touching you, and to be completely honest it felt weird to have someone’s hand there with Donghyun standing so close to you. “You can kiss me, and let Donghyun get a little taste of his own medicine.”
You looked up at the man in front of you. God you really couldn’t shake how come he looked so familiar. You pursed your lips in concentration, trying to search his eyes for any indication of how you knew him. Instead, you found something else there.
You got to the tips of your toes and nodded.
And before you could think about it you pressed your lips to his.
His lips tasted like beer, and he didn’t kiss anything like how Donghyun did. Having kissed Donghyun for so many years his lips were the only ones you knew so you weren’t really sure what you were doing with this guy. You felt like you were sloppy, and your eyebrows were scrunched in concentration.
Before you could think about it too much the person pulled away from you. He let you turn and look over at Donghyun who to your surprise didn’t look hurt. He looked angry.
“Cute,” he spat. His eyes looked to you. “Let’s go before you do something else stupid.”
You had never seen Donghyun look at you like that. You pressed your lips together uncertainly, and began to pull away from the boy you had just kissed. You cleared your throat, but before you could pull away you felt the guy beneath you tug you lightly. You looked back up at him.
“Date me.”
Your eyes widened.
“What?” You said at the same time as Donghyun said it. The confusion must have been extremely clear as the boy spun you so that his back was to Donghyun’s. He winked. Trust me, he mouthed.
You had never been able to imagine a life without Donghyun. Not since he had entered into yours. You two had planned each other’s futures together. Trusting Donghyun had gotten you here. Crying at a party because he had been kissing another girl. Trusting the person that made sense had gotten your heart broken.
It was time to do something dumb for a change.
“Donghyun,” you said, tearing your eyes away from the person in front of you. “We’re over.”
A laugh erupted from the stranger who... You supposed you needed to get to know now as he turned to Donghyun.
“Now I have an excuse to do this...” He tilted his head from side to side and stretched out his arms, cracking his hands. He shuffled you behind him, and as he took a step towards Donghyun a large number of boys around him rushed forward.
“It’s not worth it-”
Their protests didn’t matter. He pulled his fist back and it collided with Donghyun’s face.
“Aren’t you worried that I’ll hurt you?”
The question caught you a little off guard. You rolled over in the bed to look at Donghyun. Despite the odd question you couldn’t see anything suspicious in his eyes.
“No,” you replied pointedly. He laughed his eyebrows scrunching slightly in thought.
“Why do you trust me that much?”
“Because you’re Donghyun, and you love me,” you replied confidently. Donghyun hummed in agreement.
“It’s true. You know me so well.”
After the party you didn’t see much of your new “boyfriend”. Everyone rushed to the two boys’ sides. Most of the people ran up to the person who had punched Donghyun. You didn’t stay around to see how it played out.
You didn’t really know how to feel. From Donghyun kissing Jennie, to a guy punching Donghyun for cheating on you... It had been too much.
You went home and you cried yourself to sleep.
The next day when you woke up you had almost forgotten about everything. You woke up and you got ready and you smiled at yourself and you looked to your phone to message Donghyun and...
You didn’t even want to leave.
But regardless you knew you had to.
You dragged yourself out of bed and to school.
Rei and Jaeyun rushed over to you as soon as they saw you, concerned riddled across their faces.
“What are you doing at school? You should have stayed home today,” Jaeyun said. Rei nodded in agreement, brushing some of her hair out of her face.
“Seriously, your grades would be fine if you missed one day.”
You shrugged.
“I have a quiz today,” you mumbled. “Besides, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.”
That was a lie, it was a huge deal. You and Donghyun had spent five years of your life together. He was your first and only boyfriend. You had spent the better part of your life dedicated to him and him only.
How were you supposed to heal after having lost the one thing in your life that had stayed the same over five years.
A pang of hurt ran through your chest and you cleared your throat, feeling warm tears pricking at your eyes.
“Better now anyways. More time to study.”
“Stop pretending it’s not a big deal,” Jaeyun insisted. “It’s okay to be upset.”
“I’m not upset,” you said. “It’s better this way.”
Both Rei and Jaeyun stared at you snd you hated that look in their eyes. It was just pity. You loathed pity. Yeah you were a mess, yes you wanted no more than to curl up in a ball and cry and miss Donghyun but that didn’t mean you needed someone’s pity.
You were fully intent on telling them just that when suddenly, you were all interrupted.
“There they are; my beautiful partner.”
Your eyes widened as you were enveloped in the arms of a large man. He kissed your cheek cheerily and then placed his head over yours.
You were a little too surprise to react at first, and such a reaction must have been transparent as he leaned in close to your ear.
“You’re not really selling this fake relationship.”
You swallowed. You couldn’t believe that this was actually real. The party felt like it had been years ago at this point. You couldn’t believe that everything there had actually happened.
A flash of the night shot through your brain, but for once it wasn’t the memory of Donghyun kissing Jennie, it was of you kissing a stranger.
“I haven’t seen you since the party.”
You thought you sounded a little robotic but your friends eyes widened.
“Oh my god, you’re dating Mingyu?”
Your heart stopped.
“I’m dating...?”
You whipped around and your mouth literally dropped open.
The man standing behind you was none other than Kim Mingyu. You weren’t sure what to do or say, you just stared at him dumbly. He didn’t seem to be too bothered by your reaction, in fact he looked a little amused by it.
Kim Mingyu was one of the most popular boys at your University. He was a star player on the basketball team. Even people across the country knew his name. People from your high school would have paid thousands of dollars to be simply in the same room with him. Girls in other countries dreamed of being able to even brush shoulders with him.
You had only ever seen him before at a distance. That must have been why he seemed so familiar the night before. How had you not recognized Kim Mingyu?
A gasp left your mouth and you smacked your hand over it.
Oh my god, had you kissed Kim Mingyu?
You swallowed hard and tried to gain composure of yourself, hoping that your extremely obvious rapid change of emotions wasn’t too obvious.
“Yeah, Mingyu and I are dating,” you agreed. You figured that after that, frankly, embarrassing display you had to be really convincing to really sell it at this point. You turned back towards Mingyu and after hesitating for a good second you leaned up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
Part of you expected Mingyu to get mad at you at that. Maybe to make fun of you and say that you were an idiot for thinking that he would ever fake date you. But he didn’t say that. As you pulled away he leaned forward, his lips ghosting your ear.
“You’re not really selling it.”
You swallowed hard and turned to your friends.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?”
Rei and Jaeyun stared at you like they were seeing a completely different side of you.
“You’ve moved on already?” Rei blurted. You stared back at Rei and Jaeyun not really sure what to say to sell this. They knew you the best of anyone in the world. They knew better than anyone that there was no way you were over Donghyun and they knew that you would never date someone again so fast.
But they also knew that you didn’t lie and they probably thought that pretending to be in a relationship had no benefits to you.
And you had to use that to your advantage.
“It’s hard… To not be with Donghyun but Mingyu is really nice,” you glanced at him. He was looking at you with a curious look on his face. “I think that he’ll take care of me and be there for me while I heal.”
It was utter bullshit, but judging by the way that Rei and Jaeyun’s shoulders relaxed in relief you figured your lie was good enough.
“Well then Mingyu,” Jaeyun said, standing up to shake his hand. “If you break our friend’s heart… We’ll get some other basketball player to punch you in the face.”
Mingyu laughed, his whole body shaking with it.
“How about this: I’ll punch myself if that happens.”
“Okay, okay.”
You placed a hand against the door that you had just closed, breathing like you had just run a marathon.
“Oh my god.”
You looked up at him.
“You’re Kim Mingyu,” you said, your eyes wide. “You are the Kim Mingyu.”
He didn’t even look embarrassed. He just smiled, crossing his arms.
A squeak left your mouth.
“You kissed me,” you blurted. A near scream left your lips. “You punched Donghyun.”
“Is that his name?” He wrinkled his nose. “If I could I would have punched him again.”
Your eyes widened.
He rolled his eyes.
“You sound like my friends...” He trailed off. “And my coach.”
You scoffed and looked at him.
“Why do you want me to fake date you?” You asked suddenly. That actually caught him off guard.
“Do I have to have a reason?” He asked. Everything he did made no sense to you. When a random person runs into you at a party you don’t get involved in their business. You don’t worry about their relationship drama or offer to kiss them for revenge or punch their ex.
He did need to have a reason. Everything you did had reasons. Everything that Donghyun had ever done had a reason.
Your heart stopped as you saw him again. At that party, Jennie’s brown hair brushing against his shoulder, their lips pressed together. Your eyes dropped to the ground.
“I guess not,” you mumbled.
MIngyu seemed to sense the sudden mood drop and he cleared his throat.
“I mean... It’ll be good for my image,” he said. “I’m sort of known as a wild child. Party all night, kiss random people, punch dudes at parties.”
You snorted.
“Sounds exactly like you.”
Mingyu grunted.
“That’s the point. I’m more likely to get scouted by the pros if I clean up my reputation,” he said. “And you seem...”
His eyebrows scrunched as he looked at you.
“You seem good.”
You pressed your lips together firmly.
“I still don’t even know if this is a good idea for me,” you said. “I don’t want to make Donghyun jealous.”
Mingyu snorted.
“It’s really none of my business but he kissed some girl at a party, he’s an asshole,” Mingyu snapped. “And you seem nice, and you almost went back to him. After he cheated on you? This is for your own good.”
You looked at him.
“If you are fake dating me you can’t go back to him. If he tries to talk to you, you bring in me, you need time to heal, and you can’t go back to that relationship.”
You knew Mingyu was right, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting.
You had been in love with Donghyun... You still loved Donghyun. He meant everything to you. You didn’t really know who you were without him. You wanted to go to him so badly. Hear him out, listen to his excuses. You wanted him back.
You looked up at Mingyu.
“You deserve better.”
You looked away from him.
“We need rules,” you said. A sound of surprise left his mouth.
“Yeah, like...” You trailed off. “I don’t like pda.”
A snort left Mingyu’s mouth, but when you looked at him, he sobered up.
“You’re serious?”
“It’s no ones’ business who I’m kissing,” you mumbled. “I never used to kiss Donghyun in front of people.”
“I kiss people left and right,” Mingyu said. “We need some common ground because no one will believe we are dating if we don’t kiss each other.”
Your nose scrunched.
“I’ve only ever kissed Donghyun,” you mumbled looking at Mingyu, a mischievous smile crossed his lips.
“Oh it does not show.”
Color spread to your cheeks, and you looked away from Mingyu.
“Okay, one kiss a day.”
Mingyu grunted.
“Four kisses a day.”
“What? No.”
“Fine, three kisses a day.”
“Two kisses, one at anytime, one good bye every single time we see each other, even if it’s multiple times a day.”
You chewed on your bottom lip nervously in thought.
“Fine, but not where too many people can see.”
“You have to kiss me at my first game.”
You didn’t think that Mingyu was very good at this negotiating thing.
“But there will be-”
“No one will believe we are dating! We kiss one game a month, and it trumps how many kisses we have that week. One kiss at a game equals no kisses that week other than the game kiss.” You scrunched your nose.
“Okay, fine.”
“What about other signs of PDA? Hand holding, hugging?” Mingyu asked. You thought about it for a second.
“If we keep the kissing down I guess it’s fine in front of people,” you decided. “But don’t go crazy with it. I don’t really like being touched.”
Mingyu hummed and nodded.
“And how often do I get to see you?” He asked.
“We can schedule dates that need to be public. I don’t really see any need to hang out outside of that,” you said. Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed.
“You have to come to my games.”
Your eyebrows furrowed.
“You’re fake dating a basketball player,” Mingyu said like it was obvious. “What kind of significant other doesn’t come to their boyfriends basketball games?”
You supposed he had a point but you didn’t like it. You were starting to think that the relationship you had with Donghyun was to be treasured more than you realized. You hadn’t had to do things with Donghyun. You didn’t need to see him on certain days or kiss him in public. He wasn’t really touchy unless you two were... Say on vacation.
You sighed. It felt like years ago that you had been on vacation with Donghyun. Taking long hikes and waiting for him to write his poetry every time he saw something beautiful. Finding out that most of the time that poetry was about you.
You wished you could go back in time.
“Where are we going to go on vacation next?” Donghyun asked you as you two sat in the hot tub, your shoulders brushing against one another. You hummed.
“I don’t know, the Netherlands?”
“I think we should go to Paris. The most romantic city in the world,” he said dreamily. You rolled your eyes.
“Paris is actually not that beautiful. There’s supposedly trash everywhere and french people are mean to-”
Before you could finish what you were saying Donghyun interrupted you with a deep kiss. When he pulled away your brows furrowed.
“You’re so pragmatic,” he stated. “I love you.”
“Okay I’ll go to your games, but I know nothing about basketball.”
Mingyu shrugged.
“When I get a ball in the basket you cheer. It’s not too hard,” he said. “Any other rules?”
“No surprises,” you said immediately. “I hate surprises.”
Donghyun lifted his hand to Jennie’s hair as he deepened the kiss, holding her close like he used to hold you.
“Done,” Mingyu agreed. “PDA only when necessary and you come to my games but I never surprise you.”
You nodded.
“Yeah, okay that’s okay.”
Mingyu seemed happy with your agreements.
“Phone number?”
You watched as Mingyu put his phone number into your phone, making a cute face as he took a picture of himself for a contact picture. He stared at your phone for a few seconds.
“You have to change your screensaver,” he said after a moment. Your eyebrows furrowed.
He turned your phone to you as a response and your heart sank.
How had you forgotten that your screensaver was a picture of you and Donghyun?
“We should take one. Come here.”
He gestured for you to join him, and you didn’t feel like arguing.
“I’m just going to touch you for a second, okay?”
You nodded and he wrapped his arms around you. You both smiled at the camera as he took a picture. He started talking again as he let go of you and started to mess with your phone some more. You weren’t listening at all. Despite Mingyu’s explanation this still didn’t make sense to you.
This was Kim Mingyu after all. He was handsome and popular, he could date literally any boy or girl in the school that he wanted to. So why you? You were nothing spectacular. Sure you were attractive, but not attractive enough for someone like Kim Mingyu. You cared more about grades then parties. You barely spent your free time with people. It just didn’t make any sense.
“Are you sure about this?”
You must have interrupted him because Mingyu looked surprised by the sudden outburst. His nose scrunched ever so slightly.
“Sure about what?”
“Me,” you replied. “I’m just some random person, I’m nothing spectacular. Why me?”
Mingyu stared at you for a few seconds, his mind clearly racing. He sighed and walked over to you, handing you his phone.
“How long did you date Donghyun?” He asked you. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, but you decided to humor Mingyu.
“Five years.”
Mingyu nodded.
“Let’s get coffee tomorrow,” Mingyu said, instead of explaining his thought process or answering your question. “If we are going to be fake dating, we have to know a little bit about each other.”
You nodded numbly. He smiled.
“I’ll text you.”
And then he was gone.
“There you are.”
You looked up from your book furrowing your eyebrows when you saw Donghyun was standing in front of you with two cups of coffee.
“Hey babe,” you greeted. Your eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I would surprise you with some coffee!” He replied.
“I don’t like surprises,” was all you said. Donghyun laughed.
“I know I’m sorry. I won’t do it again okay?”
He set the cup of coffee down in front of you.
“I just missed you.”
“What kind of coffee do you like?”
You looked up at Mingyu and shrugged.
“Anything really,” you said. “Iced lattes.”
Mingyu nodded and wandered away to order two drinks for you two. You noticed that as he walked up a number of people in the coffee shop started whispering to each other, watching him with wide excited eyes.
You thought it was weird that so many people knew him from basketball. Even if you were into sports, you didn’t think you would ever be able to keep straight the players in the game and that being said you hardly believed you would recognize them when they were out.
You only knew who Mingyu was at all because Rei was obsessed with sports and as weird as you thought it was Kim Mingyu was a household name.
When Mingyu wandered back he handed you your drink and tilted his cup towards you. He smiled.
“I got the same thing,” he said, sounding like a child trying to impress their parent. You pressed your lips into a smile and took your drink taking a sip. He sat down across from you and leaned forward.
“So… Tell me about yourself.”
There wasn’t really much to know about you, but you told him everything you thought was important. You started off by telling him about Rei and Jaeyun. You told him about your relationship with Donghyun. You told him about your family and what you did for work.
The whole time Mingyu just watched you, nodding accordingly, his attention never straying. You could hardly believe he was taking this so seriously.
“And what else?”
You shrugged, toying with your straw.
“I don’t there is much else to talk about.”
“What about your favorite color?” Mingyu prodded. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“What? Why do you need to know that?” You asked. Mingyu scoffed.
“You’re telling me you didn’t know Dong-douches favorite color?”
You rolled your eyes.
“Why would I need to know Donghyun’s favorite color?”
“It’s important! That way I can figure out what color notebook to buy you next year when you send me shopping for a notebook for one of your lectures.”
“Mingyu this is a fake relationship.”
Mingyu exhaled in frustration.
“You know what I mean.”
You didn’t really know what he meant, but considering he was so passionate about it you decided to just give in and tell him your favorite color.
“What is your favorite color?” You asked him. He hummed.
“Red,” he said without missing a beat. “What’s your favorite food?”
“This is stupid,” you insisted. “I didn’t know that about Donghyun.”
Mingyu didn’t really seem to care what you thought.
“I’m going to be a better fake boyfriend then Donghyun ever was a real one,” he said insistently.
“Donghyun wasn’t that-”
“Babe?” Your head shot up and you looked at Donghyun who had just walked into the room. He was staring at you with such wide eyes. It felt like you hadn’t seen him in such a long time.
“Donghyun,” you exclaimed. You looked at Mingyu and then Donghyun and scrambled to your feet. “It’s not-” “You’re actually dating this guy?” Donghyun blurted. He stepped closer to you two and looked at Mingyu. “Seriously, he punched me. He would rather make someone feel small then have a conversation with them. Hardly your type.”
As Donghyun spoke he gestured towards his eye, which was admittedly different shades of blue and purple and horribly swollen. He turned to Mingyu.
“You’re lucky I don’t sue you for punching me.”
Mingyu just rolled his eyes.
“Stop playing these games,” Donghyun said, turning his attention back to you. “Haven’t we been fighting long enough? I love you. I made a mistake. I just want you back.”
You stared at Donghyun, feeling tears welling in your eyes.
“Donghyun, I-” love you too. I miss you so much, I don’t want to fight either I just want you back too.
Your mind raced with all of the things that you wanted to say to Donghyun. You felt tears running down your cheeks and you took a step towards Donghyun. That was when Mingyu got involved. He stood up, placing himself between you and Donghyun.
“Yeah, I don’t think so,” he said. “I think you’ve forgotten that your ex is dating me now and I’m not going to break their heart.”
Mingyu looked back at you. He looked so angry, and you could tell that he was holding himself back. You didn’t really know what he was so mad for. It wasn’t really any of his business what happened between you and Donghyun. You still couldn’t understand why he had gotten involved with you in the first place.
Mingyu very carefully reached forward, his hands rubbing the tears from your cheeks.
“Let’s go.”
His tone was stiff. You nodded.
He grabbed you by your wrist and began to practically drag you out of the coffee shop. You couldn’t keep your eyes away from Donghyun.
“What was that?” Mingyu blurted once the two of you were alone. You winced a little.
“Your grip is too tight,” you muttered. Mingyu immediately withdrew his hand from your wrist.
“Sorry I just...” He grunted in frustration. “He cheated on you.”
“It was just one kiss,” you insisted. “Besides he said he could explain-”
“It wasn’t just one kiss,” Mingyu blurted. Your heart skipped a beat and your eyebrows furrowed.
“Wh-what?” “Every time he goes to a party he goes alone in a room with Jennie,” Mingyu explained. “I-I didn’t know he was dating anyone... Before you ask, I don’t think your friends knew.”
You stumbled and your nose scrunched.
“You need rules,” Mingyu said, instead of responding. “Whenever you see Donghyun you’re like two words away from marrying him. You can’t go back to that dick.”
You didn’t respond. You felt numb.
Every party? Had Donghyun really cheated on you that much? Surely it wasn’t true.
“Delete his phone number and his texts, and block him,” Mingyu started. “Block him on everything you don’t need any reminder of him to make you want him back.”
You nodded and searched for your phone, beginning to do what he had asked.
“You can’t be his friend anymore. You can’t even talk to him,” Mingyu continued. “You’ll just want him back more.”
You hated that. You wanted nothing more than to have Donghyun stay in your life. You missed spending time with him. You missed confiding in him. You missed him.
“I know it hurts,” Mingyu said, his voice going soft for the first time since he had gotten you away from Donghyun. “Get rid of things that remind you of him. Gifts he may have given you, anything.”
“No buts! If you go back to him he will hurt you again, that’s a fact,” Mingyu said. You fell silent. “Don’t give him that power.”
“What would you do if we ever broke up?”
You rolled your eyes at the question. Donghyun was always asking you such dumb speculative questions.
“I highly doubt that will happen,” you said. “Why are you even asking me that?” Donghyun shrugged.
“Just wondering if you would ever leave me.”
You turned to face him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.
“I would never leave you Lee Donghyun.”
You felt sick to your stomach, but you still nodded slowly.
“That’s... That’s fair.”
You felt tears running down your cheeks again.
“Mingyu have you ever loved anyone before?”
Mingyu was quiet for a few seconds, so you finally looked up at him. He shook his head slowly.
“Not like you loved Donghyun.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone again,” you mumbled.
You had never actually been to one of your University’s basketball games. Mostly because they were so confusing to you. It was hard to get tickets and you knew that the games were all just loud and crowded and honestly a waste of time. But even so, there wasn’t much that you could do if you wanted to help Mingyu out with his end of the fake relationship pact.
You still weren’t really sure why he felt the need to get into it with you. He was probably so much better asking one of the many other people in the school to be his significant other for this façade, but he had chosen you. And you knew he was right. Being in this fake situation with him would certainly make Donghyun back off of trying to win you back.
Mingyu was... Much stronger than Donghyun, and even though he had threatened to sue you knew he wouldn’t. He was scared of Mingyu. That was good for you.
Mingyu was right, and you knew that your friends would agree with him if they knew that you would take back Donghyun in a heartbeat. You shouldn’t go back to a cheater. If they cheated once they would cheat again. People don’t change.
But you trusted in Donghyun. You had trusted in him for five years. It was hard to just turn your back on him.
So that’s why you needed to do these things.
These things that Donghyun would never make you do.
And Rei was ecstatic.
“I have been dreaming of the day that you would come to a basketball game with us,” she gushed. “This is going to be so fun.”
It didn’t feel as exciting to you as it did her, but to be fair that made sense, she actually liked basketball. She knew the in’s and out’s. She led you to the student section and made sure that you all got there early enough that Mingyu would be able to see where you were sitting and she even showed you where the bathrooms were.
Mingyu’s game plan was simple. At the end of the game when they won (he was confident that they would win) he would run up into the student section, pick you up and kiss you in excitement.
It was all a bit extravagant to you but Mingyu had insisted that would be the most realistic way for him to react if he was actually dating someone and you figured that one huge kiss being made a spectacle wouldn’t exactly kill you.
And yet still you were feeling nervous. There was a reason you didn’t bother at parties, and mostly kept to yourself. Crowds made you anxious. As the basketball game started you were stuck between hundreds of sweaty college students, painted in your school colors, and screaming at the top of their lungs. You could hardly think or move or even hear as Rei tried to point out who was who on the court.
Mingyu was pretty easy to keep track of. He was tallest of everyone on his team and his coach Seungcheol was always on his feet, running up and down the court as the team did so he was easy to pick out too. Then there was Jihoon also easy to pick out due to his height. Everyone else may as well have been the same person because you couldn’t figure out for the life of you who was Jun and who was Soonyoung when they were both running side by side down the court and were so far away that you could barely make out their faces.
So amongst trying to remember the names that Rei told you as the team members switched on and off the bench and start running up and down the court you had to try to pair those names with faces.
For goodness sakes you knew nothing about basketball and none of this was helping you figure it out.
As the first half of the game came to an end you were left feeling like you were being crushed by the room around you, and like you knew less about basketball than you had known going in and that was making it harder to breath in itself.
“Donghyun? Hey Donghyun.”
You tugged at Donghyun’s sleeve and he glanced back at you over his shoulder.
“I want to go,” you murmured, your eyes flitting to the ground. “I’m...”
You didn’t want Donghyun to know that you were stressed. Even after five years of dating you never wanted him to know how stressed you were.
“If you want to go we can go,” Donghyun agreed. His brows furrowed slightly in confusion at your behavior, but he turned to say good bye to his friends anyways.
You were knocked out of your racing thoughts by Rei elbowing you lightly. You looked over at her and she gestured down to the court. You were confused as to why at first and then you noticed that Mingyu was standing at the bottom of the student section. There was a half-heartedly placed barrier there that Mingyu was leaning on as he talked to a handful of girls down in the crowd.
Your first thought was that he must have decided he didn’t need your fake relationship anymore and was going to do something with someone else but then his eyes flickered up to you. When you two made eye contact he tilted his head to the side.
“I think he wants you to go down there, he’s been staring at you,” Rei explained. You nodded numbly and began to push your way through the crowd.
When you got down to him your heart was beating so loudly in your chest that you could have sworn everyone in the room could hear it. When you got down to Mingyu he waved away the people he was talking to and wandered over to you.
“Hey,” he greeted. “You look stressed.”
Your heart skipped a beat in your chest and for just a second you really did forget how to breath. How did he know that? Were you really that transparent? Could Rei and Jaeyun tell too?
“We don’t have to do this,” Mingyu continued before you could respond. Your eyes widened slightly at the suggestion.
“What do you mean? If we don’t do this no one will know that we are dating and there would be no point in us fake dating at all.”
Mingyu shrugged it off.
“You’re stressed, this seems like it is really far out of your comfort zone. I don’t want to stress you out,” Mingyu explained. “We can talk about it later. We don’t need to do this today.”
You couldn’t believe he was saying this, but mostly because you were probably one of the most stubborn people that you knew. You hated that people could change their minds so easily, because it meant you never knew what someone wanted from you.
You had thought you understood what Mingyu wanted from you but now he was going back on what he said before and you were as confused as ever.
“No, we still have to-” You didn’t get the opportunity to finish what you were saying as Seungcheol walked over to Mingyu. He glanced at you, barely paying any attention to you at all. He probably thought you were just a random fan of Mingyu’s. He said something to Mingyu too quiet for you to hear, and Mingyu glanced at you and began to walk away.
“Wait, Mingyu fuck-” He wasn’t listening to you at all as he followed Seungcheol back over to the bench. You knew that you had to do something to stop him from not announcing your relationship at this game. You were here after all, he was doing you a huge favor and you wanted to do him a favor too. All you had to do was convince him to kiss you but you knew that it wasn’t going to work unless-
You hopped over the barrier, alerting that of the staff around you. Luckily when they said something to you, rather loudly, Mingyu turned around. You didn’t waste a second. You rushed over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
You felt like the whole world was looking at you.
But before you could stress too much about it you slammed your eyes shut and pressed your lips to Mingyu’s.
Kissing him was nothing like it was like kissing Donghyun. You still weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. You felt like you didn’t know what to do, like at any second you would be harassed for doing something wrong or being a subpar kisser.
Instead of that, you were interrupted from your rampaging thoughts by Mingyu laughing against your lips. You pulled away, your face dark in color.
“Okay, I get it now,” he mumbled. “Once you’ve made your mind up on something you’ve made your mind up on it.”
That didn’t help to cull your embarrassment. You took a deep breath and looked away from him.
“What am I supposed to do now? Donghyun and I never did things like this,” you murmured. He laughed.
“Tell me not to lose.”
“Kim Mingyu.”
You felt like you were going to pull your hair out of your head if you heard Mingyu’s full name being said to you again in astonishment. You glanced back at your coworker with a mostly unamused look and he shrugged innocently.
“I just can’t believe it,” Sehun replied. “You went from dating Donghyun-”
Sehun looked disgusted for a few moments.
“To dating the basketball star handsome model prodigy himself.”
Sehun sighed dreamily.
“A man could only dream.”
“He’s just another guy,” you said. “I mean...” You kept forgetting that you were supposed to be pretending that you liked Mingyu. “He’s great, I just am tired of people making a huge deal about it.”
“It is a big deal,” Sehun exclaimed. “I thought that when you broke up with Donghyun you would be broken hearted forever but instead you went on to date a fucking 100.”
You shot Sehun another glare and he sighed.
“Okay fine,” he stated. “I’ll shut up, but you have to tell me about Mingyu at least a little!”
You knew that Sehun wouldn’t leave you alone until you had told him some things, so you decided to rack your brain for something to tell him about.
“There’s not much to say. He’s nice,” you said softly. “Pays attention to me. His favorite color is red.”
You thought the last statement would be enough to make Sehun call you out on the fact that you were the worst person at pretending you were in a relationship, but he did nothing of the sort. Instead, a smile crossed his lips.
“Oooh you know his favorite color?” He teased. “Someone has been having late night pillow talk conversations.”
You had no clue what Sehun was trying to insinuate with that, and you did not want to know. You laughed nervously and looked at your computer.
“Focus on your work Sehun.”
Sehun rolled his eyes and scooted his chair closer to you.
“You’re no fun,” he insisted. “You just going to keep all that juicy information about Mingyu to yourself? How’d you wrangle him up?”
You thought maybe if you ignored Sehun he would let the conversation topic drop, but instead he popped his blonde head around you to shut your laptop.
“You went from Donghyun to Mingyu in a heartbeat...” He trailed off. “Did you know Mingyu before you broke up with Donghyun?”
The exclamation was absolutely ridiculous, but regardless you decided to play into his hands.
“We were friends. Never knew he liked me until he asked me out at that party.”
Sehun laughed in disbelief.
“I didn’t know you had it in you,” he insisted. “How many other famous basketball players are you hiding from me?”
Considering you didn’t even know who the other basketball players were you didn’t think that this conversation was going well for you.
“Sehun how are things with your boyfriend?” You asked, trying to redirect the conversation. Sehun groaned.
“Annoying,” Sehun admitted. “We’re fighting right now because he missed our date night.”
He shrugged.
“But that’s just how relationships are right?”
You nodded. You had fought with Donghyun a fair number of times. All things that looked pale in comparison now that you two were broken up. He had always figured out some way to sweet talk you into forgiving him. Now you were wondering if you should’ve stayed angrier at him for the ways that he messed up.
Or maybe forgiving him was just another reason why you two had worked for so long. What was love without squabbles and resolutions?
You wanted to tell Sehun that you missed Donghyun but you knew that you couldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t tell anyone that. If everyone was going to believe that you were actually in this fake relationship you couldn’t be missing Donghyun.
And you didn’t think there was much sympathy for someone who missed a cheater, even if Sehun didn’t know that part.
“Mina did you hear about our coworker's newest flame?” Sehun baited. Mina stopped walking, pressing her clipboard against her chest. To your dismay she wasn’t the only one standing there. Next to her were Sowon, Eunbi, and Wendy. They all stopped to give Sehun their attention.
“You’re not dating Donghyun anymore? He seemed nice,” Mina said, her eyes widening.
“Nope, our innocent little child here is dating Kim Mingyu.”
All of the girls gasped.
“Are you serious?” Eunbi whispered. Color rose to your cheeks, and you dropped your eyes to the ground.
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
And you only wished that were true.
“So how are things going with Mingyu?”
You wanted to shove your face into a wall.
“Why’s everyone always asking me about Mingyu? Hardly anyone asked me about Donghyun,” you mumbled in annoyance. If Rei and Jaeyun noticed your frustration, they didn’t comment on it.
“It’s because Donghyun was mid,” Jaeyun replied. “And Mingyu is Mingyu.”
Rei elbowed Jaeyun in the side.
“And you sort of just hopped into a relationship after getting out of a long one. How are you feeling?” You felt empty.
Donghyun had been a piece of you. You had always thought that he was the person that you hadn’t known you needed in life. The person you hadn’t even thought you wanted at first. How were you supposed to go on everyday without him?
“You know I thought I would be sad,” You admitted. “Donghyun and I were together for so long. But being with Mingyu is a dream. I can’t imagine being with anyone else right now.”
A smile slowly spread across Rei’s face. For once neither of them were teasing you or freaking out about the fact that you were dating Kim Mingyu. They seemed scarily serious.
“I’m happy for you,” Rei said softly.
Jaeyun nodded.
“Me too,” he said. “He seems really attentive of you.”
You shrugged off the statement and it seemed like Jaeyun and Rei were finally satisfied with changing the topic. A new movie was coming out this weekend that they wanted to see so they started talking about it. Just as you had finally relaxed and stopped thinking about Mingyu, your phone vibrated.
Mingyu: Hey we haven’t made any appearances together since the game, my friends are starting to think we made this thing up
A frown riddled across your face.
We did make it up
Mingyu: I want you to meet my friends, is that okay?
You bit down on your lip nervously.
Mingyu: This Friday. Is that okay?
I guess
There was a few moments were you didn’t receive any message from him, and then your phone vibrated again.
Hey are you okay?
You decided not to respond to him.
When you left your last class of the day you immediately knew that something was wrong, and that was because when you left the room half of the class was huddled into a circle together. Normally you didn’t bother with seeing what was going on when things like that happened but this time... You couldn’t just keep to yourself.
You wandered over to the group of people and couldn’t help but roll your eyes when you saw that it was Mingyu that they were all talking to. You were thinking about just walking away and pretending like you hadn’t seen him at all, but before you could do that he spotted you.
A pang of hurt ran through you at being called that, but you did your best not to let it show. You smiled at Mingyu as he rushed to you.
“Hey,” you greeted softly. He smiled.
“Now I know you don’t like surprises, but I thought that I could walk you home.”
The group of people around you all awed and an irritated expression crossed over Mingyu’s face. He took you by your hand and quickly began to lead you away from all of the people. Once you were alone an apologetic expression crossed over his face.
“Practice got out early and I just thought it would be fun to hang out with you outside of being public for my games and stuff.”
He let go of your hand and raised his hand to the back of his neck.
“I didn’t mean to cause a scene.”
You still didn’t quite get Mingyu but you figured there was no point in being mad at him. After all, he was acting very genuine to you and so far he had been very respectful of your boundaries.
“It’s okay,” you replied. Silence fell between you two and you wondered again why Mingyu was here. He seemed to read your thoughts.
“Look it’s just... Jun pointed out something to me,” he said. “You were cheated on by your boyfriend of five years and then immediately got pushed into a fake relationship you don’t really seem like you want any part of. Are you okay?”
The question surprised you.
“Of course, I’m okay,” you lied. “It’s just different.”
“You don’t have to lie to me,” Mingyu said with a sigh. “Look I know we don’t know each other but even Rei and Jaeyun don’t know this is fake-”
“You remember Rei and Jaeyun?”
“Of course, they are your best friends,” he said dismissively. “You have to have someone to support you but you don’t have anyone. Have you even really given yourself a chance to feel sad?”
You had nothing to say, so Mingyu sighed.
“What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?” Mingyu asked you. Your eyebrows furrowed thinking this was another one of his stupid ice breaker questions.
“What’s it matter?”
“We’re going to buy you some ice cream and we are going to go to go over to my apartment or yours and we are going to watch movies and you are going to cry and it’s going to be a lot of fun,” Mingyu explained. You just stared at him.
“Why would we do that?” You asked. He shrugged.
“So you can give yourself some time to actually feel your emotions,” Mingyu explained. He stopped walking and turned to you, giving you a serious look.
“Someone who was sobbing when they found out their boyfriend if five years was cheating and then almost went back to him needs to heal,” Mingyu said, his voice soft but firm. “It’s okay to be upset. You’re allowed to miss him, to want him back. You’ll never stop missing him if you don’t get the opportunity to feel sad that he’s gone.”
You thought that what he was saying was stupid, and you felt like that was obvious from the look on your face, but to your dismay you felt something salty meet your lips.
“Shit,” you mumbled turning your face away from Mingyu. You weren’t going to cry, you didn’t want to cry, you just-
And before you could try fighting it anymore you felt Mingyu’s hand touch your shoulder.
“My favorite’s mint chocolate chip,” he said softly. You turned your face into Mingyu’s chest trying to muffle your sobs. At first he seemed surprised but he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight.
“I thought you didn’t like to be touched,” he said with a soft laugh. You wrapped your arms around him tighter.
“Everyone likes to be held every once in a while.”
Another laugh vibrated through Mingyu’s body.
“I’ll remember you said that.”
You felt a bit calmer from the feeling of Mingyu laughing against you. You pulled away from him, your eyes falling to the ground.
“So… Ice cream?”
You couldn’t begin to grapple with what motivated Mingyu to do the things he did. When he dragged you to the store he didn’t just get two huge pints of ice cream- you decided to try his favorite ice cream instead of getting your own- he bought a bunch of sweet and salty snacks for you two to munch on as well.
“Mingyu I’m going to gain like ten pounds if I eat all of this.”
“It’s a part of the healing process.”
You decided to let Mingyu come to your apartment. Mostly because you thought you would be happier on your own coach then someone else’s.
Mingyu didn’t really care either way. He was happy to fall you into your apartment, kicking off his shoes and asking you to make sure that you grabbed a lot of pillows and blankets for the night.
When you came back in the room he already had a movie queued up. You groaned.
“That movie is supposed to be sad Mingyu,” you mumbled. He nodded.
“That’s exactly the point. If you start crying about something else maybe you’ll finally let yourself cry about Donghyun.”
And he was right. You started sobbing about the movie (albeit Mingyu did too) but even as the credits started rolling you realized that you couldn’t stop crying.
One of the things you hated most was crying in front of people. Mostly because you hated how weak and emotional it made you look. You tried your hardest not to ever let anyone see you crying, or emotional or weak and for some reason Mingyu brought out the worst in you.
“... Do you want to talk about it?” Mingyu murmured. You stared down at the slowly melting ice cream in your hands.
“Not really.”
“You should really try talking about your feelings,” Mingyu suggested. You turned and glared at him.
“I feel like you are really fucking annoying,” you said bluntly. Mingyu didn’t even crack a smile, he just nodded seriously.
You sighed.
“I don’t know, I just miss him,” you said softly. “What more can I say? I feel like a piece of me is missing without him. He was a part of my life for five years.”
“He went through the biggest transition of your life with you.”
You nodded, tears running down your cheeks even faster at the reminder.
“We planned together where we would go to college. We applied to the same places...”
You groaned and buried your face in your hands.
“I would never do that for someone but I thought-” A sob wracked through your body. “Mingyu I was going to marry him.”
You were enveloped in Mingyu’s warmth again and you didn’t even bother to complain about it. When you hugged people you generally cut it off pretty quick. Unless you and Donghyun were cuddling you didn’t really hug for that long.
You weren’t sure what it was about Mingyu holding you but despite the fact that you hardly knew him you felt so safe there in his arms.
You honestly wanted Mingyu to hold you forever.
“I know it’s hard right now, but you’ll wake up one day and you won’t miss him,” Mingyu whispered into your hair. You wrapped your arms tighter around him.
“Shut up.”
You hoped he was right.
A few hours later you two had turned on a movie that was less sad. A silence had fallen between the two of you. You took a scoop of your ice cream, looking down at the counter that was only a quarter full. You sighed.
“I hate that this ice cream is actually good,” you murmured. Mingyu’s eyes gleamed with excitement.
“Isn’t it the best?” He asked. You threw a hand in the air.
“Not the best,” you denied. “But still pretty good.”
Mingyu seemed to take that as a personal victory. He sat up and began to rummage through his bag.
“Now, let’s see, what do you do for fun?” He asked. You shrugged, taking another large scoop of ice cream.
“I don’t know, watch movies, play games, what everyone does,” you replied. Mingyu scooted closer to you, brandishing a switch with a large smile on his face.
“Mario Kart?”
There was something to be said about hanging out with Mingyu. He sure knew how to bring a smile to your face. He was stupid, and he thought it was funny when he knocked you off the course on Rainbow Road but you couldn’t help but find yourself laughing when you lapped him regardless.
When you first met Mingyu you hadn’t really imagined that you two would get along all that well. After all he was a sports guy, and you... Well, you didn’t know the first thing about sports. But despite it all when you woke up the next day, tangled between blankets with two empty cartoons of ice cream on the floor you couldn’t help but smile.
You reached out to try and hit Mingyu but when you only met your couch cushions, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You sat up and looked around your living room but he wasn’t there. You heard a clatter in your kitchen and your confusion only grew. You got to your feet, fixing your shirt that was definitely not supposed to be worn to sleep and peeked into your kitchen.
Mingyu was standing at your stove, your milk and flour on the counter and all of your cabinet doors opened. He was humming softly to himself, bobbing his head as he cooked.
“Hey,” you said, still feeling surprised by your find. He looked back at you over his shoulder.
“Good morning sleepy head,” Mingyu greeted giving you a toothy smile. “I made pancakes!”
You laughed at his bright attitude.
“Why?” You asked. He shrugged.
“Long night thought you would like some sustenance,” he replied. He turned his back to you and took some of his pancakes, putting them on a plate and handing them to you. “Luckily you had all the ingredients.”
You took the plate of pancakes from him and hopped up on your counter.
“Give me syrup,” you said, making grabby hands towards your syrup. Mingyu rolled his eyes with a smile on his face and handed you the syrup.
“So, tell me Kim Mingyu,” you started. “You are scary in touch with people’s emotions, kind, always looking out for others, can cook-”
“What are you getting at?” Mingyu interrupted, looking fairly amused by your words.
“Why do you need a fake relationship?” You asked. “You hardly seem like you aren’t ready to settle down, and it’s not like you don’t have options.”
Mingyu fell silent for a few moments, the only sound between the two of you the sound of the pancake batter sizzling on the pan. You were about to call off the question completely, you were starting to feel bad after all. He had been nothing but nice to you and he had been pretty respectful of your boundaries. Maybe you had gone too far.
“I want to find the right person,” Mingyu finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah I could date anyone but I feel like everyone just wants me because I’m Kim Mingyu the basketball star.”
Minyu sighed and turned back around, running his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t really have any friends, did ya know that?” He asked. “All of my friends are from the team.”
He shrugged.
“It’s hard to get close to people when everyone thinks I am this god among men,” he admitted.
You weren’t really sure what to say to him about that, and it didn’t seem like he was looking for an answer.
“But you’re different.”
“Yeah?” You murmured. He nodded.
As you stood in front of Mingyu’s apartment door you ran through Mingyu’s friends again, desperate to remember all of their names.
Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon, Minghao, Seokmin, Seungkwan, Hansol, Chan.
You tried to picture their faces with their names but after staring at the pictures for so long you weren’t really sure if you had been able to get them all straight or if you had confused them all more. Before coming you had also run through some news article things that you had found about Mingyu, trying to find out the stupid little things that he thought were so important.
Sure you knew a few things that he had told you but certainly not enough. You had to pretend you were a good significant other. He liked to clean, he played the bass in high school, he preferred pig feet to pork belly, he really wanted to visit Latin America, his favorite number-
The front door to Mingyu’s apartment swung open, startling you out of your thoughts. Standing before you... Your brain went blank for a scary second as you scrambled to put a name to the face.
“... Joshua?”
The boy before you smiled, his head falling to the side ever so slightly.
“You know my name?” He asked. A huge sigh of relief left your lips.
“Of course,” you replied. “Mingyu tells me so much about you guys how could I not put a name to the face?”
Mingyu popped up behing him at that. He beamed when he saw you.
“Hey, babe!” He exclaimed. He pushed past Joshua and grabbed your hand, pulling you into the room. You forced a smile onto your face as Mingyu dragged you through the group of people, trying to introduce you to all of them. Luckily for you, your studying had paid off. You were able to beat Mingyu at everyone’s name, and the further that you got into the group the more confident you were on who was who.
When you had finally gotten through everyone, Mingyu and you had stopped to talk to Jihoon. The conversation quickly turned to basketball and... You really wanted a moment to yourself.
“Hey... Babe?” You felt like you said it a little weird, but neither of them showed that on their faces. “I’m going to get something to drink okay?”
Mingyu smiled and patted you on the head.
“Yeah, don’t worry about sticking by me all night. You can do what you want,” he said. You nodded and got onto your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his in a brief kiss. You gave Jihoon a smile in farewell and then wandered to the kitchen.
You got to feel the joy of being away from Mingyu for exactly... Two seconds. You were just grabbing a cup from the cabinet when someone cleared their throat behind you. When you turned around... Jun was standing there.
“Hi,” you said. “Sorry, were you trying to-”
“Are you in love with Mingyu?” Jun interrupted. Your eyes widened. You and Mingyu hadn’t talked about this, you had no clue what to say. Were you supposed to be in love with Mingyu?
“I mean, it’s too early to say for sure,” you said with a nervous laugh.
“Right,” Jun said. His eyes narrowed towards you. “Look, you may have everyone else convinced but you don’t have me convinced.”
Jun wandered closer to you, leaning close to your ear.
“You aren’t really dating Mingyu.”
A laugh was ripped from your chest, and you backed away from Jun.
“Why would I not actually be dating Mingyu?” You blurted. You were worried for a second that you had been too loud, but to your relief nobody around you seemed to have heard. “Seriously what kind of accusation is that?”
“It’s not an accusation, it’s a fact,” Jun said bluntly. “You’re just using him as a rebound.”
Now that accusation was interesting. You stared at Jun blankly.
“I heard all about your thing with Donghyun,” Jun said. “Now, this can go one of two ways. Either you tell Mingyu that you don’t actually like him or I do.”
You weren’t even sure what to say to him and apparently silence was the wrong way to go about it.
You leaped forward, throwing yourself on Jun. You both tumbled to the floor and Jun looked up at you with a surprised look on his face.
“You can’t say anything it’s a fake relationship,” you hissed. Jun’s face lit up.
“I knew-”
“We are both faking it. Mingyu knows because it was his idea.”
This time Jun fell silent. He stared at you motionlessly for a few moments and then he nodded slowly.
“I sense that I have made a mistake,” he said slowly. You nodded. “You can get off of me now.”
“Oh, sorry.”
You scrambled away from him but you didn’t stand back up. Jun’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He sat up on his elbows.
“It was his idea?”
You nodded.
Jun stared at you a little longer.
So you told him everything.
You told him about Donghyun, and about Jennie. You told him about running into Mingyu and him coming up with this rouse to help you stay out of a relationship with Donghyun. The whole time Jun nodded slowly, finally coming to sit right beside you on the floor in the kitchen.
You decided to leave out the ice cream night. You didn’t think he needed to know about that.
“I can’t believe that he just forced you into a relationship like that,” Jun mumbled. “You got away from a cheater just to be stuck with Mingyu.”
You laughed.
“No, it was good that this happened,” you said. “Mingyu is right, I would have gone right back to Donghyun.”
“And he was right about his reputation,” Jun mumbled. “Even the others are taking him more seriously now that he has you.”
He stared at you.
“So how long are you two going to keep the charade going. Aren’t you going to want to try and fall in love again?”
A pang echoed through your heart at the question.
Could you ever fall in love again? You had been feeling a little better about the breakup since you had talked to Mingyu the other night, but even so the fact that you had been in love with Donghyun still remained. You missed him less. You had more fun with Mingyu then you had ever had with Donghyun in one night then with him in five years but regardless... There was still that part of you that wondered if you should still be with him.
“However long Mingyu wants to.”
Jun glanced at you.
“You’re going to be good to my friend, aren’t you?” He asked. You looked across the room at Mingyu who was currently making Jihoon look like he hated his life.
“Yeah, I’ll be good to him.”
You and Rei slowly began to stand up as Mingyu took the ball from the opposing team. Your eyes widened and you straightened up, throwing your hands in the air.
“Yes, yes, yes-”
The ball was stolen from Mingyu and the entire team started to run the other way. Minghao knocked the ball out of one of the players hands, and tossed it to Jihoon, who dribbled it a few feet and tossed it to Mingyu. Mingyu took off down the court again, growing closer to the net.
There were only a few seconds left in the game. You felt your mouth hanging open in anticipation. One of the other players came up right behind Mingyu, about to knock the ball out of his hand.
He jumped and tossed the ball and it went-
A scream ripped itself from your throat as you rushed down the bleachers to the edge of the fence. The timer went off through the court.
They had won.
You hopped over the fence, and this time security didn’t even bother to stop you. You rushed up to the team that was cheering among themselves in a circle. Soonyoung nudged you in the side, a huge smile spread across his face and you ignored him so that you could press yourself up against Mingyu, giving him a long dramatic kiss.
When you pulled away, Mingyu had the biggest, dumb smile on his face.
“Did I do good?” He asked teasingly. You rolled your eyes.
“You did the best.”
“So... Since I did the best, does that mean you are going to buy me as many scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream as I want?” Mingyu said teasingly as you two walked down the street. You rolled your eyes.
“You are really pushing your luck with that Mingyu.”
After you two had said goodbye to Mingyu’s team you had decided to go out for ice cream. For some reason Mingyu was obsessed with mint chocolate chip and practically begged you for any reason to get ice cream.
“Please it was a really hard game I deserve it!”
“Seungcheol wouldn’t be very happy.”
“Seungcheol doesn’t have to know.”
Secretly you liked that he was always making you get Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. The more you got it with him the more that you started to like it and honestly you were happy to get him the ice cream. Usually Mingyu was on a diet, and he actually tried to stick with it pretty carefully.
So any excuse to make him break the stupid diet was a pro in your book.
“Have you heard from any recruiters yet?”
“Not yet,” Mingyu replied between licks of his ice cream cone. “But Seungcheol said the media is looking at me completely differently now so it’s looking pretty good.”
“Good,” you said warmly. “That’s really good.”
Your favorite thing about hanging out with Mingyu was that he loved to talk. Donghyun was more introverted then he was. He tended to keep to himself and you two settled for just spending quality time together in silence. You had always thought that you liked it best that way, but you loved how Mingyu talked about his friends.
You loved listening to him gush about the latest song that Jihoon had written, and the painting that Minghao had done. He always apologized for talking about meaningless stuff, but you didn’t mind at all. You loved that he talked about meaningless things. You were starting to understand why he was so insistent on knowing your favorite color and your favorite food.
A part of his love language was the little things.
And you were so happy to be his friend.
“And then he-”
Jaeyun interrupted you with a laugh, a smile spread across his face.
“What did Mingyu do next?”
A pout crossed your face.
“Why are you making fun of me?”
Rei laughed too.
“Probably because we have been hanging out for two hours and you have brought up Mingyu practically every minute since we started.”
You rolled your eyes.
“That’s so-”
“And then Jihoon stole his video game and he came crying to me-”
“And he made pancakes again he is so good at making pancakes-”
“And he picked me up after class and we got his favorite ice cream-”
“Mint chocolate chip,” they both cooed together.
Your face flooded with warmth.
“Okay, okay, I guess I have been talking about him a little bit more than normal,” you admitted.
“Honestly, it’s cute,” Jaeyun said with a shrug. “It’s nice to see you so excited about someone. You were never like this with Donghyun.”
“What do you-”
“We only ever knew that you were hanging out with Donghyun when we ran into you two hanging out ourselves,” Rei explained.
Jaeyun nodded.
“It was like we only knew that you two were dating because, everyone knew that you two were dating.”
“I talked about Donghyun,” you argued. Rei shrugged.
“It’s not a bad thing. Mingyu and Donghyun are really different people,” Rei said. You leaned back.
“Who would you chose?” You asked. “I mean if Donghyun had never cheated on me, who do you think is better?”
“No question, Mingyu,” Rei replied. “Donghyun cared about you and he treated you well but... Mingyu treats you like you are the most important person in his life.”
“Donghyun treated me like-”
“Like you were important but not essential,” Jaeyun disagreed. “You need someone who would do anything just to make you smile, and Mingyu is that person.”
It wasn’t often that you asked Mingyu to do something for you. So he was pretty excited when you invited him to go to a party with you. Personally you didn’t think it would be fun and you didn’t want to go but when you were complaining about having been invited to it, Rei brought up a good point.
“Look if the problem is that Donghyun is going to be there just invite Mingyu,” she stated. You frowned.
“Why would I do that?” You asked. “It’s not like I want to make him jealous.”
“No but you should still live your life, it’s Taeyeon’s birthday and she wants you to be there. If Mingyu is there Donghyun won’t bother you, and who knows maybe you’ll have fun.”
So Mingyu had been ecstatic and you had been nervous. You didn’t tell Mingyu that Donghyun was going to be there. You didn’t want to cause a scene, but you also didn’t want to just not go because Donghyun was going to be there.
You were trying to be more social with Mingyu.
While you still had a lot of social anxiety, having Mingyu there culled your stress level a lot, with him at your side you thought that tonight had the chance to be bearable.
“Who’s birthday is it again?” Mingyu asked, his nose scrunching in thought. You rolled your eyes.
“It’s Taeyeon’s birthday.”
He nodded slowly.
“... Family friend... Loves to party, nice but you only see her every once in a while,” he mumbled. You nodded in agreement.
“I don’t know why you are always trying to one up me,” you murmured. “My memory for people sucks.”
“You remember all thirteen of my friends,” Mingyu argued. You rolled your eyes.
“Yeah just their names, you remember how I met my friends, all of their favorite foods and the last time the girls had their periods.”
Mingyu laughed.
“Shut up,” he said lightly. “We’re here.”
Mingyu led you into a crowded room, people dancing on every side of you. The music in the room was loud, too loud for you to really think. You found yourself reaching for Mingyu’s hand as you two moved through the crowd. You let Mingyu take the lead. You figured he knew parties a bit better then you, and along with that, you figured he was probably taking you to Taeyon, and even if he wasn’t... You would find her at some point.
Mingyu was popular. You supposed you had forgotten just how popular. You two had to stop at pretty much every person you ran by. Most of them greeted Mingyu very familiarly, probably from other parties. Others just got excited to be in the same place as the Kim Mingyu.
Mingyu avoided introducing you to people. He mostly just made an off-handed comment that he was there with you, and then proceeded to make no move to let them meet you. You weren’t sure if that was because he was being respectful of your social anxiety or something else.
You didn’t question it. You were happy to not meet new people.
“Taeyon!” Mingyu said triumphantly. Taeyon turned around from the person she had been talking to, a puzzled expression spread over her face.
“Kim Mingyu?” She addressed with wide eyes. Mingyu was tuned to her confusion. He pulled you around him with a smile on his face and you waved.
“Taeyon,” you greeted. “Happy birthday!”
She grinned and brushed her long hair out of her face.
“Pink for the birthday girl,” she said brightly. “I almost thought those rumors about you dating Kim Mingyu were fake but...”
She gestured towards the two of you.
“Here you are.”
You suddenly became a little self-conscious about the fact that you were still holding Mingyu’s hand. You pulled your hand away from him, your face bright red.
“Yeah, I know it’s not really what people expect,” you said with a nervous laugh. Mingyu seemed to sense that despite the fact you had pulled your hand away you were still uncomfortable as he grew closer to you, draping his arm over your shoulders.
“Happy birthday Taeyon,” he said softly. “Thank you for inviting us.”
From there Taeyon directed all of her attention to Mingyu, giving you the opportunity to let your mind run blank again.
After all the last time you were at a party you had seen...
You slammed your eyes shut thinking that maybe you had been imagining everything. You opened your eyes again and sure enough there he was.
Donghyun. Your Donghyun, wrapped around Jennie all over again.
Your face was red, tears begin to stream down your cheeks. As if sensing you, he looked up, the smile that was on his lips completely disappearing when he saw you. He pushed Jennie away and gestured for you to come over and you wanted to so badly. You were ready to tell Mingyu that you were going to try and find snacks, and drag Donghyun in a room and finally hear him out. You wanted so badly to hear him out.
But you remembered Mingyu’s rules.
You sniffled and looked away from Donghyun.
“Hey,” you mumbled. “I want to go now.”
You looked at Taeyon.
“Thank you for the invite, I hope you had a great day.”
Taeyon looked disappointed that you were leaving, but understanding crossed through her eyes.
“Yeah, ‘course. Thanks for making an appearance.”
You looked to Mingyu, who looked confused by your sudden drastic change of mood. He reached forward and tenderly wiped your face free of tears.
“We’ll go then.”
He looked up as he said that, clearly searching for the reason that you had started to cry. Your eyes widened.
“Okay lets-”
And then his shoulders squared and you knew he had seen.
“Give me a second,” he mumbled. He started to pull away from you. You grabbed at his wrist, tugging him like you had the strength to physically stop him.
“No Mingyu you’ve already done enough let’s just go.”
Mingyu didn’t look happy about that but he nodded and let you drag him out of the party.
You may not have been physically strong enough to pull him but apparently you were convincing enough. You two walked in silence for a little. Tears still running down your face, Mingyu looking over now and then to wipe your tears from your face.
“You knew that Donghyun was going to be there, didn’t you?”
You nodded slowly, letting your shoulder run into Mingyu’s side.
“You didn’t kill him, that was nice,” you murmured back. Mingyu sighed.
“Yeah, well, when you tell me that I can’t kill someone I have to listen,” he grumbled. “I’m a good fake boyfriend.”
You nodded solemnly.
“You are a great fake boyfriend,” you agreed. Silence fell between the two of you, a silence that allowed you to... Unfortunately think.
Donghyun had moved on so fast. You knew that he had been cheating on you, so maybe he had moved on a long time before you had caught him cheating Jennie at that party but still. To see him with her... After he had tried to win you back it-
“It hurts huh?” Mingyu mumbled. You looked up at him, color rising to your cheeks.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” you denied. Mingyu shrugged.
“Y’know you don’t have to be like that with me,” Mingyu said softly. “Donghyun is a dirty cheater. Fuck him.”
A smile flickered across your face.
“Why’re you so supportive all of the time?” You asked him. “Our relationship is purely beneficial. We don’t have to be friends.”
“You don’t want to be friends?” Mingyu asked, a flicker of hurt crossing his face. You laughed.
“Well, maybe not before, but now I do,” you admitted. “I just don’t understand why you would want to be friends.”
For once your words seemed to have an affect on Mingyu. He looked away from you, swallowing hard.
“Why not be friends?” He asked after a few moments.
“Now you know that’s not a good enough answer for me,” you replied. Mingyu huffed.
“You’re cool, you know that,” he mumbled. “Who wouldn’t want you as a friend?”
You thought that was a weird answer. You didn’t really think that most people thought that about you but you decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks for coming with me tonight, Mingyu.”
He turned to look at you, a serious expression on his face.
“Anything for you.”
You thought you were really lucky to have Mingyu.
You couldn’t believe it when Mingyu invited you to go to a party with him, and you especially couldn’t believe it when you agreed to it. He had made you a few promises. He knew the person that was throwing the party and they had promised not to let Donghyun in, and that all of Mingyu’s friends would be there.
You thought it would be nice to see the boys again, and you figured that if you got bored and wanted some time away from Mingyu then you could try talking to Jun again. He had been fairly nice at the first party.
Mingyu was pretty excited that you had agreed to go to the party with him, and when he started drinking he had gotten a little carried away. While you sat next to Jun and watched Mingyu bounce around the party you couldn’t help but laugh. You had never actually seen him drunk before.
If you had thought he was clingy before, you were in for a whole new world seeing him right now.
“Babbbbbbeeeeeeee,” he called out, rushing over to you. You waved him away, trying to persuade him not to come over but it did nothing. He scooped you up, laughing as he drew you close and made a show of kissing you.
“Ew stop,” you said, still laughing. He pulled away and pouted at you so you rolled your eyes and gave him another kiss.
As you kissed him, your heart leaped, and your mind wasn’t on the people watching, but Mingyu himself.
“Can we make some soup dumplings?” Jaeyun asked, rolling over on your couch to look at you. You shrugged and looked over at Rei who was fiddling with her switch.
“I’m okay with that, are you?”
Rei shrugged.
“I could eat.”
You nodded and got up to start making the food when there was a knock at your door. A puzzled expression crossed your face as you walked up to the door, surprised to find that Mingyu was standing there.
“Hey, now I know you don’t like surprises but I thought maybe we could hangout? I brought my switch.”
You laughed at the puppy dog look on Mingyu’s face and leaned on the frame of your door.
“Mingyu, my friends are over,” you said. You gestured behind you to Rei and Jaeyun who were peering at you two from the living room. Mingyu’s face fell.
“Oh,” he said.
“And that’s why you should message me before you come over,” you said softly. “I would love to hang out, but not right now. You could come over later if you want?”
And just like that, Mingyu’s face lit up again.
“It’s a date!”
He started to turn away, but before he could completely he grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him around so that you could press a kiss to his lips.
Butterflies sprouted in your belly.
“Okay, see ya.”
You closed the door before Mingyu could say anything, honestly feeling warm at just having gotten to see him today. When you looked across the hall at your friends they were looking at you with the biggest shit eating grins on their faces. You rolled your eyes.
“Okay let me hear it.”
“No, no, nothing,” Rei said with a laugh. She tried to give you a serious expression but a smile kept breaking through. “It’s just interesting to see the person who hates pda, and surprises be so happy with it.”
“I’m not...” You trailed off. When had you become so okay with all of these things. With Donghyun you had never entertained surprises or pda, but with Mingyu you actually looked forward to it. You loved his friendship with you, you loved it when he showed up places you didn’t expect him because you just loved to see him.
And when he kissed you...
“Oh my god I’m in love with him.”
You slammed your hand over your mouth, your eyes widening.
“Wait I-”
Rei and Jaeyun practically tripped over themselves to scramble over to you. Rei grabbed your wrist.
“Oh my god,” she said. “Have you said that to him yet?”
To them it was a big deal in a completely different way than it was for you. It had taken you a full year to tell Donghyun that you loved him, and then you had only said it because he was ready, and you just wanted to humor him when he was ready. It was two years in before you were ready to say it to him, and that wasn’t because you hadn’t loved him, you just hadn’t been ready yet.
But you realized now that you were so in love with Kim Mingyu. You loved his smile, you loved how he teased you when the two of you were alone but defended the hell out of you to everyone else. You loved it when he held you when you cried, and when he let you hold his hand at parties and now every time that you had initiated a kiss made sense.
“Hey,” you looked up at your boss, who was giving you a skeptical look. You felt panic shoot through your body. Had you forgotten to do some paper work? Had you missed a deadline?
“I’m almost done with the report that’s due next week,” you said quickly. “I-”
“No, that’s not it,” your boss said with a sigh. “You have a visitor... Just wanted to make sure you actually knew him.”
Your eyebrows furrowed.
“A visitor...?”
Your boss gestured down the hall behind him, and you peeked around him. Mingyu was standing there, his fingers toying with a cup of pens on the welcome desk. He accidentally knocked it over, and his eyes widened as he scrambled to gather all of them. Once they were all back in the cup he looked around to see if anyone had seen and he made eye contact with you. His eyes widened, and he raised his hand in an excited wave.
A smile crossed your lips as butterflies sprouted in your stomach.
“That’s my boyfriend,” you explained, turning your attention back to his boss. “He won’t bother me too much, I can take my lunch break right now.”
Your boss sighed.
“I guess that’s okay.”
You thanked him and walked down the hall, opening the door to your center of offices. You smiled at Mingyu.
“Look who it is,” you said softly. Mingyu eagerly closed the distance between you two, giving you a kiss to the corner of your lips. Your face reddened in embarrassment.
“I missed you,” he whined. “Why did Jaeyun and Rei stay for so long last night?”
“I’m sorry,” you said with a laugh. “We just lost track of time and then it was so late that it was better that they stayed the night.”
Mingyu rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue with you. Instead, he reached forward, holding his hand out for you to take.
You felt your heart leap at the gesture. You usually didn’t mind showing those little signs of affection, but now... You felt your body burning.
You decided to pretend that you didn’t know what he wanted. You turned around and gestured for him to follow you.
“I just need one more second,” you said. “You can...”
You reached for a spare chair and pulled it up to the corner of your desk. You led Mingyu to the chair, pushing him down in it and patted his shoulders.
“Stay there.”
You returned to your work, Mingyu sitting silently beside you. You started typing, the sound of your fingers dancing across the keyboard filling the air. The silence only lasted for a second. You heard Sehun clear his throat and you sighed.
“Yes Sehun.”
You looked up to find him, Sowon, Mina, Eunbi, and Wendy all staring at you with wide eyes.
“Are you going to introduce us?” Sehun said, gesturing towards Mingyu. You looked at Mingyu who had a smile spread across his face. You rolled your eyes.
A laugh erupted from Mingyu, and he stood up.
“I’m Kim Mingyu, the boyfriend,” he introduced. As if to prove it he leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. Your eyes widened at the kiss. You felt your fingers falter and your eyes flickered up to him in surprise. “Sorry, I think someone’s jealous that I’m giving you attention.”
His hand landed on your head, and he beamed at your coworkers.
“I’m not jealous,” you mumbled, but even as you said it your chest tightened. A weird feeling in itself. You never got jealous of people. In fact, when you had been dating Donghyun he had been the one who got jealous.
You didn’t see a reason in feeling jealous when someone interacted with someone.
Maybe... Maybe it was because this wasn’t real.
You looked up at Mingyu, who was looking back down at you.
“Mingyu and I are just going to get lunch,” you said, ripping your eyes from Mingyu. “But babe, I actually... I have a lot more work than I thought I did. I don’t think I have time to go out.”
A disappointed look flickered across Mingyu’s face.
“What? But-”
“That’s why you shouldn’t surprise me,” you said pointedly. “I’ll be at your game next week; we can hang out after the game, right?”
The disappointment was still evident on Mingyu’s face, but he seemed reserved to the fact that you had made your decision.
“Okay,” he said with a sigh. He leaned forward to give you a kiss, but you didn’t think your heart could handle it, you turned away as if you hadn’t noticed.
“I’ll see you!”
You glanced back at Mingyu, noticing that he had a weird look on his face. His eyebrows were pinched, and he was looking at you like you were a completely different person.
“Yeah, I’ll see you.”
You felt nervous all of a sudden. A buzzing in your brain that was different than what you were used to when you were socially interacting with people. Whenever you were near Mingyu, you felt like your body was screaming at you.
Make it real.
It took everything in you to keep your hands off of Mingyu. Even though you wanted it so badly you avoided touching him, and kissing him, and honestly being around him too much. It took everything in you not to run and hug him every time you saw him because you had just missed him so much.
You were so frustrated by these feelings. Even when you had first been with Donghyun it hadn’t been this bad.
The butterflies in your stomach, the way you couldn’t even hold his eye contact. And it didn’t help that he was literally the perfect fake boyfriend. For goodness sake you were two were making up this whole relationship. Did he know he didn’t actually need to be amazing?
He was always atune to your feelings and ducked you two out of social situations when you were too stressed. He made excuses to see you... Even though you kept reminding him you hated surprises he surprised you left and right... And you didn’t really hate it. It had gotten to the point where you hoped he would show up for your lunch break.
But you never asked him.
You gritted your teeth.
It was fake. It was fake. It was-
“And this is my better half,” Mingyu introduced, shuffling you forward ever-so-slightly. Your face reddened and you rolled your eyes.
“Hello,” you greeted. “He’s a little dramatic.”
“Oh I am not dramatic. I’m lost without you.”
Your heart leaped, but you tried to keep your composure. You were starting to wonder if he had forgotten it was fake.
“You’re acting weird.”
You glanced over at Jun who was sitting next to you on the counter of Seungcheol’s kitchen island. He was staring at you, his eyebrows furrowed.
“I’m not acting weird,” you denied. Jun looked away from you.
“You and Mingyu haven’t kissed today,” he replied. You shrugged.
“So? It’s a fake relationship. Our kisses are meticulously planned out-”
Jun barked out a laugh.
“We don’t need to kiss in front of you guys anymore,” you finished.
Jun hummed.
He didn’t sound very convinced. He let silence fall between you two. Only for a few minutes.
“You’re staring at him a lot.”
“He’s drinking a lot,” you said back. “This would be a toxic fake relationship if I didn’t watch out for him.”
“He comes to you when he’s too drunk because you have to make him feel better for your arrangement,” Jun stated. “You don’t have to watch him so closely to make sure he’s okay.”
You decided the best way to avoid Jun was to ignore him. That turned out to be the wrong decision.
Jun suddenly leaned in close to you. He looked at you with a mischievous smile on his face.
“You like him.”
You sighed.
“Don’t be stupid.”
Jun laughed at that. Leaning back on his hands.
“You never used to blush so much around him,” Jun said. “It’s very telling. You don’t want your relationship to be fake anymore.”
It was true, and hearing it out loud made it even worse.
“You’re annoying Jun.”
Jun sighed, and rolled his head back.
“You’re just mad because I’m right. You like me better than everyone else here.”
“That’s true,” you agreed with a laugh. You and Jun watched in silence for a moment as Mingyu and Soonyoung both shot gunned a bear together.
“You know, I think you two would be good for each other.”
You looked at Jun.
“We are good for each other. Remember? Fake relationship.”
Jun rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, don’t you think it’s a little too perfect. Lies are clunky and awkward. But you two have made it work so well and so easy, it’s almost like it hasn’t even been fake from the beginning.”
You were starting to think Jun was missing the point.
“But it was fake.”
Jun sighed.
“If it’s fake, Mingyu won’t get jealous.”
You frowned.
“Jealous of wh-”
Before you could even finish speaking Jun had leaned forward again. He placed his hand flat on the counter between your legs, his chest brushing against your arm. His lips grew closer to yours, his hot breath mingling with yours. You weren’t impressed. You weren’t even flustered.
“Trying to be a homewrecker Jun?”
But before he could answer, you two were being forcibly separated. Arms wrapped tightly around your body, and dragged you close to what you knew had to be Mingyu’s chest.
“What are you two doing?” Mingyu whined. He looked down at you, his eyes wide. “Did you forget that you were dating me?”
“There was something on your shirt,” Jun said, directing the comment to you. He looked up at Mingyu. “I was just trying to get it off.”
He acted innocent, but you could tell but the slight twitch of his lips. This is exactly what he had wanted.
“Mingyu you know you are the only one that I want,” you said softly. Mingyu looked frustrated so you sighed.
You leaned up, and very tenderly gave him a kiss.
“Remember? We’re in this together.”
That seemed to make Mingyu happy. He dipped down again, giving you another deeper kiss. It was a little sloppy, probably because of how drunk he was, but you didn’t care at all. You couldn’t help but smile as you batted him away.
“You taste like alcohol.”
Which reminded Mingyu of his prior activity. He gave you a pat on the head and rushed back over to Soonyoung. You joined Jun back on the counter, trying to ignore the huge grin on his face.
“So if it’s so fake, why did he-”
“Just shut up Jun.”
The craziest thing to come from your relationship with Mingyu was the fact that you had started to actually enjoy his basketball games. A few months ago you wouldn’t have been able to say how many points a person got from shooting the ball in the hoop.
Now you were calling out penalties, and screaming as one of Mingyu’s teammates got the ball as they were running down the court. You felt your heart beating in your chest as the teams ran up and down the court, and you couldn’t help the smile on your face when Mingyu’s team won yet again.
Now you thought it was expected for you to leap over the barrier to go greet Mingyu after a game. You two were actually infamous for it. Even that one girl on tiktok who duetted cute couples had duetted a video of you two, angrily slamming her pillow into her bed.
It was weird to think that most people looked forward to the hug and kiss you gave Mingyu after a winning game.
Some people thought you were his lucky charm. They were unbeatable this season.
“I’m going to go change and I’ll be right back okay?” Mingyu said. You nodded, squeezing his hand.
“Yeah, I’ll be right here.”
After every game you and Mingyu went out to get ice cream. His team always tagged along, and Mingyu always made a huge point of complaining about how he just wanted to spend time with you, but you two had loved it anyways. It had helped make your relationship seem more real to have Mingyu isolate you at a table pretending like he didn’t know the twelve other boys in the ice cream parlor.
You watched as him and the other boys disappeared into the locker room, Jun sticking his tongue out at you as he passed. You rolled your eyes, and surfed the crowd for Rei and Jaeyun. You saw them, giving you a wave good bye as they walked out with the crowd. You smiled.
You sort of regretted not coming out with them to games before. God it was fun.
“Hey. We need to talk.”
You turned around, your smile disappearing from your lips as you came face to face with the last person that you wanted to see.
“I don’t have anything to say to you Donghyun.”
Your mind raced to remember all of Mingyu’s rules. You couldn’t be talking to Donghyun, you had to-
“Stop avoiding me,” Donghyun snapped. “You haven’t let me explain myself, you blocked my number, you blocked me on social media-”
“You’re dating Jennie now, isn’t that enough?” You demanded. Donghyun pressed his lips together tightly.
“I’m just dating Jennie to make you jealous,” Donghyun exclaimed in frustration. “I don’t want Jennie, I want you, and I know that you want me too-”
You stopped listening to him, you just tried to brace yourself from the feelings that were sure to surge up. The longing in your heart to take Donghyun back, the wish to just be in his arms again, but... It never came.
“So? Are you finally going to listen to me? Stop frolicking around with some basketball player with no brains-”
“Don’t talk about Mingyu like that,” you interrupted. “Say whatever dumb excuse you want to give me for cheating on me but don’t talk bad about Mingyu.”
Donghyun scoffed.
“Are you serious? Are you pretending that you actually care about him? I know you are just trying to make me jealous.”
“Jealous?!” You blurted. You couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m not trying to make you jealous, Donghyun I don’t even care about you anymore.”
A thick silence fell between the two of you. Donghyun looked more surprised than you had ever seen him in his life, and you understood why. He had always been a master of your feelings. He always won arguments because he played to whatever made you happiest, unless he thought that he could win.
“That’s not true,” Donghyun mumbled. “You’re nothing without me. You have no friends. You have no social life. You have nothing.”
A frown crossed your face.
“I don’t ever want to see you again,” you mumbled. “I can’t believe-”
“What’s going on?” You had never felt your heart sink faster. You looked across the room, suddenly acutely aware of the fact that you were standing inches away from Donghyun and... When had Donghyun’s hand gotten on your wrist?
You ripped yourself away from Donghyun.
“Mingyu, it’s nothing,” you insisted. He completely ignored you. He stormed towards you, stretching out his arms like he was about to punch Donghyun.
“How many times do I have to tell you to get lost?” Mingyu demanded. You rushed up to him, throwing your hands on his chest. Considering Mingyu’s strength you thought that would do absolutely nothing. But Mingyu stopped moving as soon as your hands touched him. “I swear to god I’m going to-”
“Legally, he’s lying,” you said. You slapped your hand across Mingyu’s chest. “We’re leaving.”
“We’re leaving,” you repeated. Mingyu turned around as you directed, letting you drag him all the way back to his locker room. You shut the door behind him, and took a deep breath. “Look before you freak out-”
“What was that?” Mingyu demanded. You hated that he was yelling at you, but you understood why he was upset. He thought that you were going back to a cheater, after building such a strong relationship with him it felt like you were falling backwards.
But you weren’t falling backwards.
“It was nothing,” you insisted. “He just wanted to talk-”
“Your rules-”
“I tried to follow them I just-”
“You know he’s just going to break your heart again,” Mingyu said. You looked away from him. You hated to fight. You could feel the tears beginning to run down your cheeks.
“He’s not going to break my heart,” you denied.
“He did it once, he’ll do it again,” Mingyu replied. He looked a little sad. He reached forward, gingerly rubbing a tear from your cheek. “People don’t change.”
You didn’t reply, which didn’t seem to make Mingyu forget what he had walked in on. You could see the frustration furrowed into his brow. He groaned and pulled away from you.
“I just don’t get why you would even want that asshole back, ” Mingyu blurted.
“I don’t want him back Mingyu.”
“Right, of course you don’t.”
“I’m serious.”
“Then why were you making googly eyes at him?”
“For fucks sake Mingyu I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Mingyu looked at you like his whole world had just come to an end and it made your heart break just a little. You looked away from him.
“And look I know you don’t feel the same way-“
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” you explained. “But you’ve got to understand-“
“Shut up,” Mingyu repeated.
“I don’t even miss Donghyun anymore. I used to think that I needed him, but now I know I don’t and I want you-“
“Do you listen at all?” Mingyu demanded. You decided to keep ignoring him.
“I understand if you want to end the fake relationship,” you whispered. “I just want-“
“I said shut up.”
Before you could speak again Mingyu had surged forward, one of his hands slipped around your waist to hold the small of your back and his other hand tangled itself in your hair as he pushed his lips to yours. You hadn’t realized exactly how desperate you had been for Mingyu until his lips were on yours, and then it was like you could only breath when he was kissing you.
There was no denying the electricity sparking between the two of you as you panted against one another’s mouths. A whine ripped from your mouth as Mingyu wrapped his arm around your back, pulling you closer to him.
“Does this mean-”
Mingyu interrupted you by deepening the kiss. He backed you two slowly up against the wall, his hands traveling your body. After a few long moments, he pulled back.
“I love you too,” he mumbled. “I do I have I hated everything being fake.”
You still couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t because the kiss had completely knocked the breath from your lungs.
“You mean you want-”
“You,” Mingyu interrupted. “I want to be a cliché, strangers to friends to lovers.”
You couldn’t help the laugh the erupted from your chest causing Mingyu to pull away, a smile spread over his lips.
“Are you making fun of me?”
You were still laughing but you pressed a kiss to Mingyu’s lips.
“It’s not that,” you said. “I just- you sound so cheesy.”
“Are you surprised?” Mingyu asked mirroring your smile. You shook your head.
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you stared at each other. You weren’t really sure what to do, you were just so excited to be there with him, to be officially official.
“We should go,” you said softly. “The others will get suspicious if we aren’t there for ice cream.”
Mingyu nodded.
He didn’t move, instead he just stared at you, that same goofy smile on his face.
“You know, you’re...” You cleared your throat. “You are really close.”
Mingyu snickered.
“We’ve kissed how many times? But now we’re too close?” He asked teasingly. You gave him a small glare.
“You’re annoying.”
“You love me,” he said happily. “Besides do you really want me to pull away?”
He made no move to pull away from you, and you made no move to move yourself. Your eyes flickered to the ground.
“Stupid,” you mumbled. “I guess you can stay there if you want.”
Mingyu laughed, and leaned forward, burying his face in your neck. You smiled warmly, wrapping your arms around his body.
“You really sure you want to date me?” You asked him, your voice soft. “It’s not too late to back out you know.”
Mingyu shook his head, his lips pressing briefly to your neck. You shivered slightly, but... You rested your head on Mingyu’s.
“I’m happy with us,” he said. “I think we’ve already proved that we work.”
“That was fake,” you replied. You felt Mingyu’s lips move, you could only imagine it was to smile.
“Was it fake?” He asked. He pulled away from you and looked up at you. “We kissed a lot for a fake relationship.”
“We did kiss a lot,” you said with a laugh. “And I told you I didn’t like pda.”
“You initiated most of them!” Mingyu denied. You raised an eyebrow at him.
“When you were drunk-”
“You knew what you were getting into fake dating me,” Mingyu insisted. “I punched your ex-boyfriend when I was drunk once.”
You couldn’t help but smile.
“You sure know how to win my heart.”
Real dating Mingyu wasn’t that different then fake dating him.
Maybe that’s how you knew that you had been really bad at faking your relationship. You had gone into your situation-ship with him with such real feelings, and he had been so supportive and perfect. It’s was no wonder to you that you had fallen in love with him.
And yet, it almost sucked that you two had been fake dating in the first place because it meant that you didn’t really have anyone to tell that you two were official to. Well, no one except...
Jun kept walking his earbuds in his ears. You sighed, trying very hard not to look like an over excited fan.
You finally caught up to him, tapping his shoulder. He glanced at you; his eyes widening slightly when he realized it was you.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I asked Mingyu for your schedule,” you replied. You didn’t offer him much more of an explanation and you two walked for a minute in silence. “Mingyu and I are dating now.”
“I knew it,” Jun exclaimed excitedly. You rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed but in reality... You were so happy with his response. You wanted this so badly. To be able to tell people that you were dating Mingyu and for them to be excited for you. You had really taken advantage of it before.
“What did I tell you?” Jun continued. “You and Mingyu like each other and what did you say-”
“Yeah, yeah,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “I get it, you were right.”
A troubled look spread over Jun’s face.
“I should have made a bet with you,” he mumbled. “I could have gotten something out of this.”
You laughed and he started to walk forward, you fell in step beside him, not really having anything to do other than hang out with Jun at the moment.
“So, now that you two aren’t fake...” A mischievous expression crossed Jun’s face. “When are you going to... You know.”
You stared at him blankly.
“I don’t know.”
Jun rolled his eyes.
“Well before you Mingyu was a very.... sexually active-”
Your eyes widened.
“Shut up-”
“I’m just saying, Mingyu is a very attractive man.”
Color flooded your face.
“We like just started dating,” you stammered. He laughed.
“But technically you’ve been fake dating for a long time now,” Jun said. “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
You wished you could tell Jun you hadn’t thought about it. When you were fake dating, it was all pondered for curiosity. Just a seed of thought in your brain that was pretty easy to ignore, but now.
The color on your face was all the evidence that Jun needed.
“Just saying, Mingyu is rough in bed,” he said with a whistle. “I hope that you can handle it.”
Ever since your stupid conversation with stupid Jun, things had become more awkward then ever around Mingyu.
There was of course the puppy dog phase between the two of you, excited to be officially dating, but there was also an underlying narrative that just kept running through your head. Whenever his fingers brushed against your body or his lips were on yours... You wanted more.
“Babe,” you looked up from the card game between you and Jun, giving Mingyu a smile.
“What’s up Gyu?” You asked him, setting your cards on the table.
“Jihoon won’t play mario kart with me,” he whined. He came up behind you, burying his face in your neck. He pressed a kiss there, his teeth grazing your neck. Heat crept up your face.
“That sucks,” you said, trying to keep your voice even. Jun’s eyebrows raised as he looked at you a smile spreading over his lips. “But Mingyu, I can’t make him play with you.”
Mingyu whined against your neck, causing your eyes to widen even more. You raised your hand to pat against his head, hoping it would get him to move because if he kept whining into your neck, you would have a serious problem.
Lucky for you, he pulled away from you.
“It’s not fair,” he mumbled. You nodded, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.
“We can play later, okay?”
That satisfied him and he bounded back over to the other side of the room, beginning to loudly brag about how you always play games with him. You turned your attention back to Jun, your face still red.
“Don’t say anything,” you murmured. Jun shrugged innocently.
“There’s an empty room down the hall if you need to-”
You threw the deck of cards at Jun’s face.
“Hey Mingyu,” you murmured, glancing at Mingyu from across the room. He had come over to hang out, but you had been busy studying all day, you finally had a chance to breath, and you wanted to see what he was up to. He glanced up at you, and then back down at his switch.
“Just playing Fall Guys,” he said. “You want to watch?”
You nodded eagerly and wandered over to the couch. You craned your neck to look over at Mingyu’s screen, but he only let you sit there next to him.
“Come closer,” he mumbled. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled up onto his lap. He trapped you between his arms and peeked his head around yours so that he could look at the game. You couldn’t even bare to focus on what was before. You tried your best to look at the pastel-colored game, but you couldn’t focus on it.
All you could focus on was Mingyu’s hot breath on your neck and... You willed yourself not to think about what you knew you had to be sitting on. You were so close to him; you could practically hear your heart pounding in your chest.
You tried your best to focus.
“You’re not doing very good,” you observed as his character fell off one of the wheels. Mingyu huffed.
“I’m better then you are.”
You supposed that was true. After all, he wasn’t hard, and you... You were progressively getting wetter and wetter.
“Babe,” Mingyu called, running towards you from across the hall, you blinked in surprise at the sight of him. He didn’t explain anything, instead he grabbed a fistful of your shirt and dragged you close to him. Without any explanation he pressed his lips to yours. He had been gone for the last few days, at a game hours away from where you were.
You were surprised to see him back so soon.
You practically melted under his touch, wishing that his hands were touching you more then they already were. You wrapped your arms around him and as you did Mingyu pulled away from you, resting his forehead against yours.
“I missed you so much, you’re coming with me next time,” Mingyu said. You rolled your eyes.
“I have class Mingyu, I don’t get exceptions like you.”
Your body was burning. You missed him too, you were so glad he was back.
“I hate being away from you,” Mingyu mumbled.
You couldn’t understand how you had gotten so lucky.
When you and Donghyun broke up in that moment your entire world had ended. For just a moment you didn’t think that you would ever be happy again. But Mingyu had saved you. Despite not knowing you at all he had caught you when you fell, he had been there for you when you needed him the most, and he was probably one of the best people that you had ever met in your life.
“I should never have let you cook,” Mingyu said, laughing as you patted out the fire on your oven. You shot him a glare over your shoulder.
“I’m not usually this much of a disaster,” you murmured. “It was just one time.”
“And I have never set something on fire in the kitchen,” Mingyu replied. “So, who should have cooked again?”
You grabbed some flour from a bowl and threw it at Mingyu’s face. He laughed in surprise.
“Hey,” he complained. “Now my shirt is all dirty.”
“Why don’t you just take it off,” you mocked back. “It’s just a shirt.”
Mingyu’s eyebrows raised slightly.
“You would like that wouldn’t you?” He teased lightly. “You’ve just been begging me to take my shirt off.”
You rolled your eyes.
“You sound like Jun,” you said without thinking about it.
“You and Jun talk about me being shirtless?” Mingyu asked you. Your eyes widened when you realized what you had implied.
“I plead the fifth.”
Mingyu laughed and shrugged.
“Well, I actually am going to take my shirt off,” he said. “Because you did ruin it and frankly I don’t want to wear it anymore.”
The reasonable part of you knew that you should argue with him and tell him to keep it on, but the part of you that wanted to see him shirtless didn’t care. You tried to pretend you weren’t interested by looking away from him, but it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t looking at you in the first place.
“Well, what are we going to eat for dinner then?” You asked. Mingyu laughed.
“We’ll just order a pizza. I can call them right now.”
You nodded and walked into your front room, sitting down on your couch.
“Get pepperoni.”
It only took Mingyu a few minutes to finish ordering the pizza, and then he came and joined you on the couch. You took one look at him and rolled your eyes.
“Mingyu put your shirt back on,” you said. He shook his head.
“Uh, no. You got my shirt dirty; you have to deal with me not wearing a shirt.”
“But it’s so annoying,” you whined. “You’re distracting me.”
Mingyu laughed.
“What am I too attractive?”
You scoffed.
“More like you are too ugly.”
Mingyu didn’t respond for a moment and then he took you by your shoulders pushing you down onto the couch. You looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Are you sure that I am still too ugly?” He asked teasingly.
You felt your heart thumping in your chest as you looked up at Mingyu, he was staring at you with an unreadable expression, his lips so close to you that all you would have to do would be to tilt your head and your lips would touch.
“You should stay the night,” you murmured, your face blazing hot. Mingyu’s lips twitched upwards.
“Yeah, and what are we going to do then?”
Mingyu pulled back slightly, his hand traveled down to your waist and his fingers dipped under your shirt. You shivered under his touch.
“Well...” You trailed off; you were so embarrassed. “You know.”
“Watch a movie?” Mingyu asked, his tone low and teasing. “Read books? Eat ice cream? Get some sleep.”
He knew what he was doing, and you knew he could feel how embarrassed you were by the heat of your skin, but he was not doing you any favors.
“I want you to touch me,” you whispered. His eyebrows rose in amusement.
His fingers dipped deeper within your shirt, his hands splaying over your chest.
“You want me to touch you? Where?” He asked teasingly. A whine left your lips and you arched your back into his touch.
“Just... Touch me,” you murmured. He smiled and began to run his fingers lightly up and down your sides, making your body tingle under his touch.
“You know how badly I’ve been wanting to feel your body?” Mingyu asked you softly. You looked up at him, your face still burning. “You know how absolutely beautiful you are?”
You raised your hands to your face, covering it so Mingyu couldn’t see you. He let out a noise of disappointment at that and his fingers retracted from your body. Your hands shot out so that you could grab his wrists.
“Don’t stop,” you blurted. A sound of amusement left his lips.
“Then don’t cover your face.”
You nodded and let go of Mingyu’s hands, hiding your hands behind your back. He smiled and his hands returned to your body, his fingers slid up to the edge of your bra and he lowered his hands to your back and unclasped it.
A squeak left your lips, but Mingyu paid it no mind.
“Sit up,” he instructed softly. You did as he said, and he slowly pulled your shirt off. You felt cool air on your hot skin and you shivered, reaching forward to hold onto Mingyu’s shoulders. He smiled and leaned forward, his lips attaching to your neck again. He peppered kiss after kiss across your collarbone, every once in a while, stopping to bite down lightly on your neck, always soothing over it with his tongue.
With each kiss, every touch, you felt yourself shiver and tighten your grip on Mingyu as if that would do anything for you. He wasn’t paying much attention to your desperation as his lips trailed down your body. You heard a small sound of desperation leave your lips as Mingyu’s lips trailed over your breasts, his tongue darting out to flick over your tits.
Mingyu laughed at the sound, peaking his head up to look at you.
“There something you want?” He asked you teasingly. You shot him a glare.
“Why are you-”
Before you could finish talking, he dipped his head again, lips latching onto your breast. His tongue darted from his mouth, dancing over your nipple. Your fingers buried into Mingyu’s hair, whining as he began to suck your nipples, his teeth nipping at you briefly.
“Fuck Mingyu,” you mumbled softly. He laughed against you.
“That’s not a very good word babe. Somebody should do something about that mouth of yours.”
Mingyu trailed back up your body, his lips pressing firmly against yours. You whined into his mouth, tightening your grip in his hair so that you could press him closer to you. He pulled away sooner then you liked.
“But I can kiss you anywhere anytime huh? Let’s do something more fun.”
Finally, Mingyu’s mouth began to trail lower down your body. He hummed when he got to your waist.
“You have too much on,” he murmured.
“Mingyu I’m shirtless,” you blurted. He shrugged.
“But what I want to do with you doesn’t end with your shirt being off.”
You didn’t really need to be told twice. You got up, shuffling out of your clothes. Mingyu did too, but he was much faster. By the time that you were naked he was sitting on the couch again. You looked over at him, embarrassed by the way he was looking at you.
“What?” You murmured, your face burning. A smile slowly crossed his lips.
“You’re just beautiful.”
Your eyes widened and you looked away from him.
Mingyu wrapped his arms around you, suddenly pulling you flush against his body. His nose brushed against yours and he gave you a chaste kiss.
“I’m so lucky to have you,” he mumbled. He dragged you closer to him, turning you so that you were laying on the couch again. He lowered his lips to your neck again and his fingers prodded between your legs. At first his fingers just slowly slid up and down your folds, barely pushing in to feel the wetness between your thighs. You let out a soft whine as he dipped a finger into your pussy. Your hips wiggled making Mingyu press a hand on your pelvis to hold you still.
“You seem a little desperate babe,” he mumbled. You bit down hard on your lip to prevent yourself from telling him to stop teasing you so much. You thought that if you did, he would stop touching you and... You really didn’t want him to stop touching you.
Mingyu didn’t seem to mind this, instead he focused on pressing another finger into you. His fingers bent up inside of you, making you want to try and arch your back again. Unluckily for you, Mingyu was a bit too strong.
“Mingyu I want to-”
You were interrupted by your own strangled moan when Mingyu pushed his fingers deep inside of you again, scissoring his fingers in and out of you. The stretch sent a burn of pleasure soaring through your body. You wiggled underneath him more.
“I want to move,” you whined when you finally found your voice again. Mingyu snorted.
“I think you’re fine,” he said. “Unless you want to tell me that you want me to stop, I think you’re fine being held in place while I finger you.”
You whined again, but you didn’t want him to stop.
“I-I can bear with it,” you agreed breathlessly. He laughed. He leaned down, his tongue darting out to flick over your clit, causing you to cry out. “Fuck maybe I can’t.”
Mingyu laughed again and looked up at you as he slid a third finger into you.
“I’ve got to keep you still so that I can open you up for me,” he said teasingly. You groaned, thrusting your head back against the cushions.
“Fuck you,” you mumbled.
“No babe, I’m fucking you.”
He dipped his head again, his lips attaching to your clit. You moaned loudly, your fingers balling.
“Please, fuck, I need you to do more than just fucking tease me,” you blurted. Mingyu hummed against your clit which did not change your level of urgency. “Please just fuck me already.”
Mingyu peaked up at you.
“What did you want exactly?”
His fingers spread deep inside of you.
“I want your dick inside me please Mingyu, please, please, please,” you begged. As cruel as Mingyu seemed he still pulled his fingers from you, lightly tapping your pussy with his hand.
“Well since you insist, I suppose I could do something for you.”
Mingyu pulled away from him, positioning himself between your legs. He took a deep breath and looked at you.
“You sure?” He asked softly. “I should be safe and find a condom-”
“No,” you interrupted your face blazing red. “I don’t need- You can just- You know-”
Mingyu smiled at you and nodded.
“Okay,” he said softly. “You ready?”
You nodded.
Mingyu slowly slid into you, making your back arch in a mix of pleasure and pain. You pressed your hands against Mingyu’s chest as he came fully seated in you.
“J-Just- One sec-second,” you murmured. “I just-”
“Take your time,” Mingyu replied softly. He dipped his head, placing a few soft kisses to your neck. You whined at the touch, feeling yourself begin to feel a little more comfortable on him. You wiggled your hips a little, forcing the stretch a bit more.
“You’re just... Bigger than I’m used to,” you mumbled. Mingyu chuckled.
“Let me guess, Donghyun couldn’t compare?” He asked. You could tell that was just an ego boost for him, so you decided to just completely ignore the question. Even if it was true. You only needed a few more minutes, you wiggled your hips and the burn was only pleasurable. You wrapped your arms around Mingyu’s body.
“O-Okay,” you murmured. Mingyu began to slowly slide himself out of you, the burn sending shoots of pleasure through your body, and low moans left your lips as he slowly began to push himself back in. His pace was slow, probably to make sure that you didn’t get hurt. You appreciated it but...
“I uhm...” You bit down on your lip and looked away from Mingyu. “I heard you like it rough. You can... You can be a little rougher.”
A chuckle left Mingyu’s lips.
“Are you sure you can handle it?” He asked you. You shot him a glare.
“I’m not made of glass Mingyu.”
“You’re not,” he agreed. “But I’d hate for you to go from little vanilla Donghyun to-”
“Just fuck me Mingyu.”
“Only if you say please-”
Mingyu came at a full stop inside of you, his cock pressed deep within you. You squirmed underneath him.
“Mingyu just-”
“I won’t move until you ask nicely,” Mingyu replied. “Unless you want me to just go ahead and pull out- There are other things-”
“Okay, okay,” you interrupted. You looked up at Mingyu. “Please fuck me.”
A grin spread over Mingyu’s face.
“Well since you begged so prettily-”
He cut himself off by pulling his dick almost entirely out and then slamming it back inside of you. You cried out in surprise, throwing your hand over your mouth. Mingyu looked down at you, a dark look in his eyes.
“I want to hear you baby,” he murmured. “And you know to just say something if it becomes too much.”
You nodded and moved your hand from your mouth, but you didn’t get much time to recover from the surprise of his first thrust. Mingyu wasted no time, beginning to set a cruel fast pace, his hips pressing his cock deep inside of you fast. Noises you didn’t even know you could make were leaving your mouth, each thrust making tears of pleasure sprout at the corners of your eyes.
“Baby,” Mingyu mumbled, leaning down to catch your lips with his. “You feel so good, you know that?”
Mingyu’s voice was rough, and lower than you were used to hearing it, and it only made the pleasure coil even more in your stomach.
“M-Ming-gyu,” you stammered, slamming your eyes shut. “It feels so good, please I want- Harder- More-”
You sounded like an idiot, barely able to form a coherent sentence, but you didn’t even care, as you spoke Mingyu pushed down on your pelvis, pushing one of your legs further out with his hand. It just proved to push him deeper inside of you. You whined, your fingers digging into Mingyu’s back.
“You’re so good for me baby, taking so much,” he murmured. “You’re so wet too, absolutely dripping, how badly have you been wanting this?”
“S-So badly Mingyu,” you admitted. “I’ve been wanting you so badly.”
A low growl left his lips as he surged forward, his lips pressing against yours again. Usually when Mingyu kissed you he was fairly gentle, even when you two were making out it was more passion then desperation, but right now. You felt like you could barely breath, each thrust made you pant against his lips, and he didn’t even seem to care as his tongue prodded yours.
“M-Mingyu, I can’t- I’m going to-”
“Good,” Mingyu interupted you. His hips stuttered a little. “Want to feel you cum around my cock okay?”
You nodded wordlessly, and it only took Mingyu a few more thrusts before you were coming around him, your walls spasming out of your control. You buried your face in Mingyu’s neck to avoid screaming too loudly. He fucked you through your orgasm until your toes curled from the sensation of still having him seated deeply inside of you. You whined out in pleasure and oversensitivity.
“Pl-Please, c-cum to, you’ve gotta c-cum too-”
Before you could even finish your nonsensical begging Mingyu pulled his cock out of you, he gave himself a few pumps and buried his fingers in your hair. He gave you a small tug.
“On your knees, mouth open, don’t break eye contact.”
You scrambled to get into position, your body still shaking a little and your mouth panting as you tried to catch your breath. Mingyu only gave himself a few more pumps before his cum began to spray on your face. A few ropes falling on your tongue and a few landing on your cheeks. You waited until Mingyu’s hand in your hair relaxed and he knelt down in front of you, pressing a kiss to your lips, tasting himself on your tongue.
You buried your own hands in his hair as you deepened the kiss, your pussy suddenly feeling empty without his cock buried inside of it.
“Mingyu,” you mumbled, against his lips. He pulled back, not answering you. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your cheek, cleaning his semen off of you. HIs fingers travelled down your body, his fingers slowly sliding over your folds.
“You okay?”
You nodded against him.
He dipped his fingers briefly inside of you and then raised them to his lips, sucking his fingers into his mouth. Your nose wrinkled and he laughed.
“What? You taste good.”
His fingers dipped briefly into your pussy again and he held his soaked fingers up to your face.
“Taste,” he said. You opened your mouth to protest but that only resulted in him pushing his fingers into your mouth. You sucked them clean, your face burning at the embarrassment of licking your own juices off of his fingers.
Mingyu didn’t ask you how it tasted. Instead his eyes flickered to your lips and he leaned forward, dragging you into another deep kiss. As he pressed closer to you his knee pressed between your legs, brushing up against your folds. You whined against his lips and involuntarily rolled your hips against his leg. He laughed and pulled back.
“Still horny huh?”
You buried your face into his neck.
You were cut off by yourself gasping lightly as a result of Mingyu pressing you back into the couch and sliding his cock back inside of you.
Your lips pressed against Mingyu’s skin as you tried to muffle the desperate moans that were falling from your lips. His first thrust was slow, but he didn’t bother with being careful as soon as he had pressed all the way in.
He did one hard thrust, and then a second one faster. Loud moans at every thrust tumbled from your mouth as you tightened your grip on Mingyu yet again to keep from falling onto the couch cushions.
“You’re so good for me,” Mingyu mumbled. “So good.”
You nodded against Mingyu’s skin, bouncing back and forth as he thrust in and out of you.
He was fucking you a lot rougher this time then the first time but his words were all the same.
“So good.”
“You sound so pretty.”
“You feel so good, baby.”
You moaned at his words.
“Please,” you murmured. “H-Harder.”
Mingyu’s hand snacked between your bodies, his finger coming to play with your clit sloppily.
“You sound so dirty baby,” he said, amusement dancing in his voice. “You really want it harder? I’m already fucking you so hard.”
You mewled against Mingyu’s skin.
“You’re annoying,” you mumbled.
“And yet you're begging me to fuck you harder,” he replied. “That means you’re going to be good for me and cum, aren’t you?”
You didn’t care that he was teasing you. You nodded frantically against his neck feeling coils of pleasure curl in your stomach. It was like he could read your mind, you had no clue how he had known you were close.
“I’ll be good,” you agreed breathlessly. “I can be- I'll be so good.”
Mingyu’s own voice was starting to cut off to, his own moans tumbling from his lips as he grew closer too. You tugged Mingyu closer to you.
“Mingyu, please cum, please cum,” you began to beg. “C-cum inside me please.”
You could tell that Mingyu was shocked by your words by the way that his free hand rose to your hair and tightened in your strands.
“I can’t do that,” he mumbled. You nodded and peeked up at him.
“You can, please, it’ll be okay, I want it, I want to feel you inside of me.”
Mingyu searched your eyes, his own dark with pleasure. He sighed.
“Fine,” he murmured. “Since you want to beg for it like a slut-”
A small cry ripped through your body as you started to cum at the word. Mingyu’s grip in your hair tightened and he tilted your head back so that he could drag you into another airless kiss and it only took a few seconds before Mingyu’s thrusts were getting sloppily and you felt his cum start to coat your insides.
You were practically crying in pleasure against Mingyu’s mouth, feeling his hips stutter against you until finally coming to a stop deep inside of you. You felt your toes curl as you broke the kiss, panting heavily against Mingyu. He let you down on the couch, pressing soft kisses to your face.
“You, okay?” He asked softly, his own breath coming heavy and somewhat strained. You nodded.
“Tired,” you mumbled. He nodded with a laugh.
“Yeah, I’m sure you are,” he agreed. “You’re deceptively kinky, aren’t you?”
You groaned.
“Are you done teasing me?”
“Did you really cum when I called you a slut?”
“It was a coincidence!” You protested. He laughed.
“Alright sure, we’ll just test it next time.”
Mingyu laid down next to you, slowly pulling his cock out of you. You whined when he slipped out of you, your feelings balling against his back. You turned and buried your face in his neck.
“Feels weird,” you mumbled. “To have your cum inside of me.”
Mingyu bounced against your chest with laughter.
“You begged for it.”
“I liked it,” you agreed. “Still weird.”
Mingyu hummed and slid down your body, his lips pressing against your pussy lips. His tongue darted out against your sensitive pussy as he slowly began to clean out your pussy, licking the semen out of it. You whined.
“M-Mingyu,” you murmured. He ignored you and instead stayed licking out your pussy for a little bit. Not stopping until semen had stopped dripping out from inside of you.
“You want to take a shower?” He asked. You shook your head.
“Come back up here,” you said instead. Mingyu hummed and crawled back up, wrapping his arms around your body. You pressed your face into his chest. He seemed fairly amused.
“You going to go to sleep naked on your couch?” He asked. You nodded.
“And you’re not going to leave, okay?”
Mingyu nodded.
“I’m not going to even try.”
Suddenly, there was a soft knock at the door, and you groaned, burying your face further into Mingyu’s chest.
“Who is that?” He asked. You shrugged.
“The pizza? Maybe they’ll go away.”
They knocked again.
Mingyu laughed and began to pull away from you, you whined in protest but he just placed a hand on your head.
“I’ll be right back.”
He pulled his pants back on but didn’t bother with a shirt. He walked up to you door and you heard him unlock and open it.
“Hey stupid you left your pizza out- Mingyu?”
There was a moment of silence between Jun talking and Mingyu standing at your door without a shirt on. He laughed.
“I knew it.”
Your face burned red as you shot up, pulling a shirt over your head and pulling pants on. You rushed to the door.
“Shut up Jun, what are you even doing here?”
Jun held out your earbuds, a cocky smirk on his face.
“You left these with me the other day and I was around so…”
He trailed off as you snatched the ear buds from him.
“You know you look like a wreck-“
You pulled Mingyu by his wrist and slammed the door in Jun’s face. Mingyu laughed at you, pulling you close to his body.
“Jun knew what now?” He asked his voice full of mirth.
“Shut up,” you mumbled.
The best thing about dating Mingyu was dates.
Mingyu was a huge romantic and he loved taking you out on dates whenever he got the chance. As much as he enjoyed sitting around and gaming with you he much preferred to take you out to dinners, or take you on elaborate nights out.
Tonight was nothing elaborate. Ice cream with the guys to celebrate a win out of town. But still you were pretty excited about it.
You were so excited in fact that you weren’t really paying attention to where you were going.
You felt yourself bump into someone and as you were about to say sorry for doing so, you stopped.
“Donghyun-” Your eyes widened as you backed up a little. You glanced down at your phone. You were running late. “Look I don’t really have the time, I’m-”
“Meeting Mingyu for a date?” Donghyun asked, his voice low. “Right. You know he’s just using you right?”
You rolled your eyes. You thought it was a little desperate of him to try this now. Maybe when you two had first started this crazy fake relationship you would have thought about this, but Mingyu had been nothing but respectful of your space and general wishes. No part of you thought that he was capable of using you.
“Donghyun I don’t care what you think about him,” you said. “You’re just jealous for whatever dumb reason you justify with yourself to go to sleep at night.”
“Mingyu is a known fuck boy,” Donghyun said. “Let me guess. You’re fucking him, right?”
Color flooded your face.
“H-Hey, shut u-”
“You’re a slut,” Donghyun said with a shrug. “And he’s using you.”
“I’m so fucking tired of your bullshit Donghyun,” you mumbled. “You can’t just come in here and ask me about my business and my life when you long forfeited the rights to know what I’m doing.”
Hurt flashed through Donghyun’s eyes.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you mumbled. “Seriously, you cheated on me, why are you acting like I suddenly left you for no reason?”
“You never even let me explain!” Donghyun protested.
“Okay then, explain,” you blurted. “Tell me your amazing excuse for why I caught you kissing someone else.”
“Because I was bored,” Donghyun yelled right back. Your anger dissipated, and you frowned.
“You’re so boring, do you even know how boring it is to be in a relationship with you?” Donghyun asked. “For five years we dated, and you would barely do anything.”
“I am not boring,” you argued back.
“All you ever do is study! You never went to parties with me, and you hated kissing in public. You got upset if I tried to show you off-”
The more that Donghyun argued with you the more you began to realize something very important. All of the things that Donghyun argued about were things that you did with Mingyu. You didn’t care when Mingyu showed you off or kissing him in public, you went to parties with him every week...
You laughed once in disbelief and then again. Donghyun stopped in the middle of his sentence.
“What is so funny?” He asked. You shrugged.
“I just... I do all of those things with Mingyu,” you replied softly. “And I love him.”
That hurt look crossed Donghyun’s face again.
“Don’t say that,” he murmured. “It took you a year to say that you love me. Don’t tell me that you are already in love with him.”
You shrugged.
“Then fine, I won’t.”
You almost weren’t surprised when you turned around and saw that Mingyu was standing in the doorway. He didn’t look angry, simply amused.
“Is he really still bothering you?” He asked. You shrugged.
“Can’t leave me alone,” you replied. You bounced over to Mingyu, wrapping your arms around his body. The hurt of being called boring echoed through your mind and Mingyu placed his hand over your head protectively.
“Can I punch him?” He asked you. Tears pricked at your eyes and you shook your head in his chest.
“No,” you mumbled.
“Seungcheol will kill you and it’s not good for your reputation,” you continued firmly. “Let’s just go.”
“The guys are expecting you for ice cream,” Mingyu agreed. “But... Won’t you just leave me for a moment?”
“Not alone,” you argued. Mingyu looked down at you, his hand prodding at your chin. You looked up at him, baby tears smeared on your cheeks.
“Seriously, just going to talk to him,” he promised. “Don’t you trust me?”
Unfortunately, you did.
“I won’t talk to you for a week if you punch him.”
“Just meet me for ice cream, okay?” He asked you.
You nodded and peeled off of him.
“But if you aren’t there ten minutes after I get in-”
Mingyu waved you off.
“I’ll see you in a moment.”
When you got to the others Jun seemed to sense that you had something on your mind.
“Are you actually thinking about the kind of ice cream you want?” He asked. “Don’t you always just get Mingyu’s favorite?”
“I can’t believe I actually like mint chocolate chip now,” you said with a disappointed sigh. “But no... I left Mingyu with Donghyun.”
Jun shrugged and licked his ice cream cone, so you thought maybe he hadn’t heard you.
“Mingyu is with Donghyun,” you repeated.
“So?” Jun asked. “Did you ask him not to do anything?”
“Well, yeah,” you replied.
“Then it’ll be fine. He listens to you.”
As if on cue Mingyu walked into the ice cream parlor. You looked at him and raised an eyebrow towards him. He just smiled at you.
“What? We just talked that’s all,” Mingyu assured. “He’s not going to bother you anymore.”
You eyed Mingyu suspiciously.
“And how’d you convince him of that?”
“How else? With my charming personality and award-winning smile.”
You rolled your eyes, but even as you did, you couldn’t escape Mingyu pulling you into his arms and giving you a large, long kiss.
“What was that for?” You asked, slapping at his chest as if you hadn’t liked it. He laughed.
“Just appreciating what I have,” Mingyu said softly. Disgust spread over your fast.
“You are disgustingly sappy sometimes,” you mumbled.
“Yeah, but you love it,” Mingyu said.
You smiled.
You really did.
1K notes · View notes
jiminrings · a month ago
four seven eight
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pairing: jungkook x reader
wordcount: 12k
glimpse: you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you.
alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
[ part one + intermission + part two + intermission 02 + finale ]
[ major angst (pls take a break when necessary!!), no cheating happens here btw, some rlly cute moments i swear, jk’s a cold lover, emotional constipation + breakdowns, allusions to anxiety + anxiety attacks, self-deprication n loathing, miscommunication, based on the moral dilemma of whether or not it’s okay to be friends with ur ex, eventual redemption in the next parts :) ]
notes: it’s finally out and i can’t wait for you to read!! this piece is my baby, the rightful successor to heartburn <3 i’m aware that the last time i wrote a mini-series it was rlly heavy, but please trust me when i say that this would be lighter <3
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist
It takes little effort to love Jungkook.
Loving him specifically doesn’t have to be hard.
Loving Jungkook isn’t hard when he serves as the solace that remains in your heart and not in your pocket. He manifests into the comfort you look for in all seasons, and into the love you look for at all times.
Loving him isn’t hard when he proves time and time again that he’s neither fussy nor high-maintenance. He isn’t simple but loving him is, the motions of your commitment remaining uncomplicated.
Jungkook doesn’t text you every hour of the day while you’re out working, but he will wake up to see you get picked up by your driver, wait for you to text him that you’ve reached your filming location, and knock himself back to sleep right then.
It’s easy love — one that couldn’t be grasped by everyone, but one that’s still just as precious to the both of you.
Your husband’s neither as affectionate or as vocal as you are. He’s a man of few words, really, and you wouldn’t lie and say that Jungkook’s perpetual state of coldness didn’t bother you at first. He just seemed so unattainable, one that couldn’t fit with your otherwise animated personality.
He was unattainable in a way that even if you’ve amassed a huge crush on him, you tried to be as unbearable that you could be by the second date he asked you out to; tried to worm your way into each available space beside him and treated his bicep as your handbag, but no matter how much you clinged to him — Jungkook never budged you away.
He felt too unattainable that when he asked you for a third date, you felt tempted to craft an elaborate lie to ward him off. The massive crush you had on him didn’t even decrease in size no matter how much you kept bringing down the opportunity of the two of you together, only increasing in depth.
You used to think that Jungkook needed to be with someone more well-suited for his pace; one that wouldn’t hold his hand like their life depended on it, or one that wouldn’t say “I love you!” atleast seven times before ending the call, even if he only went on an errand five minutes away from your place.
Perhaps in an honest sense, loving you isn’t so simple but Jungkook makes it appear like so, one date at a time.
He broke down the door to a portalet when you accidentally trapped yourself in it at the fourth date, all because you hurriedly ran from what you thought was a snake on the ground in the hot air balloon festival you dragged him to. It obviously wasn’t a snake (it was a stocking moving from the wind), but Jungkook still pretended that it was, intentionally muttering about your sightings of a snake amongst event-goers. Not only did he raise safety issues and rattle event organizers, but he also got to ease your embarrassment, perching his sunglasses on your nosebridge so you wouldn’t dwell on your incident too harshly.
He initiated to hold your hand under the table when he introduced you to his parents. You were uncharacteristically formal and stiff that he had to sit you down by the closed toilet seat in the bathroom and make you drink Pocari Sweat from a wine glass because you were just too parched and pale when his mother kept glancing at you. You thought it would be the end of your relationship with her son because she probably thinks that you’re not good enough for him, but really, she just found you gorgeous and wanted to hug you.
He trembled by the knees when you walked the aisle and even if he attempted to steel his eyes, it was no use because he was hiccuping from tears before you reached halfway down the path. It was an intimate wedding attended only by the closest family and friends, completely discreet to the media because it was just a regular Saturday break from your schedules as far as they knew.
Jungkook’s cold but he isn’t relentless.
He doesn’t coo and awe at every single thing you utter. You can go on and on about the menu at a critically-acclaimed, fully-booked-for-the-next-six-months restaurant without a single peep from him, but you will get the same meal you’ve been raving about without question.
He doesn’t squeal when you shower him with affection. He barely bats an eye even when you’re giving him the tightest embrace in front of his friends, but that doesn’t mean he’d complain about it. He still puts his hand at the center of your back, patting and rubbing circles until you let go of him.
He doesn’t gasp at every dramatic line in your script that you practice with him. He says the opposing role’s lines, observes your pacing and critiques your emotions, and doesn’t break from character one bit even when you do. He only smiles when you laugh but he feels like crying when you do, only breaking his character for the times he’d wipe your tears with his thumb — belatedly realizing that your acting was that good for him to forget in the first place.
Neither you and Jungkook are easy, that much you know. Love isn’t always a matter of ease anyway and it’s always stuck to you, but perhaps coming home to Jungkook everyday reminds you that it doesn’t have to be difficult either.
Jungkook makes love the simplest thing.
( ♡ )
It’s never been your intention to come home late.
These days, you don’t promise a specific time to Jungkook and instead encourage him to sleep without you. You’re tired from work but you’re sure that it’s somehow tiring for him to wait for you to come home, day after day for months at a time.
Granted that he doesn’t wait for you to come home every single night (he sends you a smiley face text when he lets himself to succumb to sleep alone), it’s still the thought that makes you want to leave work a little earlier; makes you a little more rested despite being worn down to the bone.
It’s nice to have someone wait for you to come home. Nice enough to think that your walls are warm despite not spending enough time surrounded by them. Nice enough to think that there’s no echo in your home when you speak into it, even if the furniture is only good for two people.
Jungkook holds down the fort for both of you and he doesn’t mind.
Your fatigued eyes try to adjust to your husband’s newfound obsession with ambient lights, because in his words, the use of overhead lighting is one of the top brainwash phenomenons in society. Maybe he didn’t really say that word for word, but one look at his eyes when he urged you to come with him to go ambient light-shopping was more than enough to know his sentiments.
It’s a mixture of soft pink and purple in the living room — homey despite the initial shock your eyes go through from having been exposed to studio lights all day.
Jungkook’s groggy in the nest that he’s made on the couch, eyes starting to blink open because in a haste but his head can’t just seem to lift from the dense pillow that keeps calling his nape. Even Miso, your cat, is curled up and fast asleep on the crook of his neck. His position seems lived-in already, the clingy part of you already knowing that if you just try to squeeze in now, the imprint of your husband would still be warm.
“Did you wait for me?” you mumble in a chuckle even if he could already pick up that it’s devoid of the playful tone, completely toeing off your shoes in the entryway so you could pad through the cold floor to get to him quicker. “Let’s go to bed.”
You weren’t planning on carrying him to the second floor but you make it seem like that anyway, mustering all your remaining energy to playfully crouch as if you were gonna piggyback him.
“No, no, it’s okay,” Jungkook pertains to his service of waiting what, a mere four hours overdue than your usual 7 PM dismissal. His eyes land on your form and it reminds him why he held out (or atleast attempted to) for a particular reason. “Wait.”
Jungkook stands up from the couch completely and walks to the kitchen, making you fall back immediately to cushions because your knees were close to giving out. Miso’s grumpy as per usual from being woken up from her nap, but her tail brushes your arm before scurrying to sleep somewhere else. True to your assumptions, your husband’s place on the couch remains warm and it audibly makes you sigh — warm enough to placate you.
He spares a look at you because you’re grunting a little too differently, belatedly learning that you’re lying in the same spot that he did, an indication that you really, really needed to sleep. Jungkook grabs what he’s been saving for you from the freezer, walking a little more determinedly before you doze off completely.
“Wake up for a sec,” he jostles you by the shoulder, effectively making you peel your eyes open but this time with a tiny hint of irritation between your brows. He holds the container behind his back and shakes it before bringing it to your view, face still unnerved but eagerly waiting for your reaction.
You don’t know exactly what you’re looking at besides the given that Jungkook’s holding a clear container, and you can’t exactly tell shit either because atleast with overhead lights, you’d know the color of what’s in there in the first place.
Jungkook’s heart skips a beat from the lack of a reaction because he swears that by now you should be squealing and kissing him on the cheek. His breath hitches but he tries to steel his pride, opening the container for you to see better. It takes one, two seconds for you to register the familiar smell because you still can’t clearly see what it is, but judging by the awed gasp from you, he already knows he’s won.
Jungkook saved you the ends of the ice cream cones that’s filled with chocolate, the accumulation of it starting just this morning. He simply wanted a snack and although there isn’t a law that prohibited from eating your favorite snacks without you, he still felt guilty. He was cautious enough to only bite until the demarcation of the chocolate, putting it into a container upright by some crumpled tissue used as a stand, and stashing it in the freezer before it melts.
Then it hits him that one ice cream cone wouldn’t do, and he knows for a fact that you don’t even care much for the ice cream itself, so he gets to eat up another one.
“That’s the best part! Why didn’t you eat it?” you exclaim and although your words tell him that he should’ve eaten them, your tone suggests otherwise because you’re entirely giddy about the situation.
“Saved it up for you.”
His heart leaps at your mood change, the trivial discomfort in his mind awhile ago from not eating the chocolate part of the cone dissipating instantly. You look so pretty grinning up at him, coyly looking at the container.
“There’s two,” you point out, taking one cone for yourself while waiting for your husband to pick up your cue.
“You don’t want two?” he asks, humming when you shake your head. “Good. I wanted one too.”
Jungkook plops to your side the moment you snort, turning his head to look at you already biting to the cone bit by bit because you just didn’t want to swallow it whole, wanting to indulge in the cold treat after a long day.
“I love you,” you say in between chews, leaning your head on his warm, broad shoulder. “You’re the best.”
There’s a gentle smile that grazes your husband’s lips. He doesn’t say the words back but he brings your hand that’s clutching the cone back to your lips, eyes flickering towards you briefly.
“Shh. The chocolate’s gonna melt.” In other words, I love you too.
“I love you. I mean it,” you reiterate, swallowing the last of your snack before briefly cuddling to his side, kissing the dimple on his cheek that’s prominent as he silently chews.
Jungkook couldn’t resist as he only bites into half of his cone; you’ve already finished yours. He takes one good look at you before parting your lips with his thumb, shoving the other half of his cone to which you giggle happily at. In other words, I mean it too.
“Love you too,” he says out-loud while you chew, standing briefly to get you a glass of water because after all, the chocolate was sweet and he’d hate for your throat to get itchy.
Jungkook waits for you to finish before heading up the stairs together, letting you hold onto his bicep while you take step after step with little conversations in between — towards the bed that he had already made hours in advance, in anticipation of you.
( ♡ )
Jungkook loves in increments.
He doesn’t love all at once; never has been the type to act irrationally in the name of his impulses. He’s sensible but that doesn’t mean every decision he’s ever made is the smartest move he could’ve done in that situation. He was quiet but that didn’t mean he wasn’t sensitive.
He didn’t love you at first glance because looking back, you were perhaps too bright for him. He didn’t love the way you laughed when he first heard it because it seemed too loud for him. Honestly, Jungkook didn’t even love the way you looked at him because the way you did it, you made it seem like you’ve known him forever and would continue to for the next lifetime.
He used to clench his jaw when you held onto him by the elbow and grind his teeth when you held his hand. He used to lean his head away to look at anyone but you when you buried your face to his neck. He used to think that he hated you and the change you brought because as shitty as it may sound, you are not the person he loved first.
It was wrong, beyond wrong, for Jungkook to compare you to his ex in his mind when the two of you were just starting out, no official label to your relationship yet. It wasn’t right of him but it was realistic — if you knew someone for almost half of your life and were in a relationship with them for three years and in love for longer than that, only for you to break up later on, wouldn’t you be accustomed to them?
Jungkook already moved on from his ex but it didn’t happen overnight. He no longer harbored love for her and accepted that you’re different from her. And as much as it scared him initially, he’s grown into your love completely.
The two of you are different and there’s no changing it. There’s no drastic changes the two of you request from each other. You and Jungkook aren’t two peas in a pod but rather, you’re two different flowers in the same garden. You neither have the same seeds nor the same bloom but you’re bred by the same soil, nurtured by the same sun, and comforted by the same moon.
You and Jungkook aren’t parallel but you’re perpendicular; intersecting at some point even in the furthest distance.
At some times, you seem to mirror Jungkook and it haunts him. He’s unused to you only standing for a few words and lacking the initiative to start affection, anything, that was the pinnacle of your dynamic.
You never required him to change; it’s just that maybe, just maybe he wants to do it himself. He wants to be more like you, preferring it a hundred times over than you wanting to be more like him. Somewhere along the way, maybe you’ve grown used to him rarely asking about your day (because you already narrate it before he could) that you don’t tell him about it lately.
It’s probably just because you’re tired, noticing that you were more likely to shut off if you’re at your wit’s limit considering your hectic schedule. He can’t read your mind or know what you’re thinking about at just one glance like how you could do with him, but Jungkook still tries his best.
There just seems to be something bothering you these days and as much as he’d like to talk to you about it, you shut off as soon as you come home. You take a shower, eat the dinner he prepared if you hadn’t already on set, and go to bed.
Lately, Jungkook misses the way you’d sit on his lap and tell him about your day, especially missing how your voice would pick up at the parts of it that you liked most. He misses your insistent pleading of taking his shirt off right at that moment because you wanted to wear that particular one in that exact time.
You’re unavailable to talk to him (which is unlike you) so he does the next big thing — talk to you in your sleep.
“You have blisters again.”
He frowns as he looks at your feet, telling you about his day as he tucks you in that he got to take a closer look. He winces at the sight, figuring that it must hurt from wearing heels since according to you in verbatim, your character’s main personality trait just has to be wearing heels that are a size too small for her.
“Do they hurt? I bet they do,” he answers his own query, turning on the actual overhead lights this time because in all honesty, he can’t see much shit with the ambient lighting he’s been trying so hard to love these past few weeks.
“I keep telling you that my friend’s a dermatologist. You could get Botox on your feet so you wouldn’t feel a thing,” he reminds you and for a moment did he expect that you’d actually answer, talking to you so fluidly that he forgot you’re actually asleep.
Jungkook makes quick work of cleaning your ankles up, rubbing some ointment on it before putting on the softest pair of socks fathomable in this world on your feet.
You’re still fast asleep and he’s thankful that he was nimble enough to not wake you up, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek before he turns off the lights.
“Night night. I love you.”
( ♡ )
This project would be the biggest break of your career.
Technically, your debut was two years ago, the first drama you worked on being fortunately successful enough that it kept the ball rolling and it hasn’t stopped since. You’re well-known enough to have pictures taken of you and your autograph sought-for, but what you thought was already famous doesn’t even come close to this.
This being the most-anticipated drama of the year — with you as the main lead starring alongside Min Yoongi, the most talented and in-demand actor the industry has ever seen.
It’s a powerhouse production all-over; Kim Namjoon as the acclaimed screenwriter whose latest work pushed him to bag the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award, Kim Taehyung as the executive producer who’s notorious for only picking one project per year (and all his past five projects are famous and praised worldwide), and Jung Hoseok as the celebrated director credited for changing the entertainment completely because of his unique direction.
The preliminary audition tape you sent in was just sent without any expectations that you’ll be picked, knowing that you’d compete with hundreds upon hundreds as soon as Jimin, your manager, relayed the details.
The tiny piece of the script sent to you was already telling that both the production and forthcoming impact of it are bigger than anyone could ever imagine. Jimin pressed record, the emotions flowed right through you, and the tape was sent in without any reviewing nor correcting whatsoever.
You immediately got the callback the next day, was very nicely asked (more-on demanded) if you could come to the studio within the next hour and a half, did a screen test on the spot with Min Yoongi who you then learned was picked as the main lead all this time (and even before the script was finished) — and got it.
What seemed to be extreme luck for you at first turned out to be fate because you could distinctly remember how you couldn’t pick up your jaw from the floor when the big three; Namjoon, Taehyung, and Hoseok, revealed that they didn’t even pick anyone else but you. To be exact, five hundred seventy-one people auditioned for the female lead and a grand total of one got the callback.
“This script is as good as trashed if it isn’t you giving life to it,” Namjoon simply told you with a shrug, getting resounding approval from the rest of the group.
“To be honest, I don’t see myself clicking with anyone else. They get me if they get you,” Yoongi said his truth as confidently as he could, discreetly crossing his fingers under the table to not jinx anything.
“Right! I’ve literally never seen chemistry this good and acting this real,” Hoseok added his input, mouth curling in a chuckle to see you floored from them bouncing off their reassurances for you.
“Trust me, I’ve seen tons of scripts from this month alone. If I had to pick one project to put all my money in, it’d be this,” Taehyung sealed with a grin, his excited knocking on the table making you jolt in place.
This project’s so big that it’ll practically serve as your second debut.
Technically, In Terms of Eternity hasn’t even been released yet but it’s already famous from the get-go. The unofficial announcement of the drama release from a news agency was enough to create more hype than any other drama that’s been released the past year.
Only the teaser has been released and even with that alone, the trajectory of your career skyrocketed overnight. Your followers tripled, brands were scrambling to give the highest bid to get the commercial feature in the episodes that haven’t been filmed yet, and even previous works featuring you (no matter how small your role is, e.g. you rolling your eyes in the background for approximately two seconds) were resurfacing.
This is the biggest thing to ever happen to your career and you need Jungkook with you.
Two days from now would be the drama’s press conference, set to be attended by a record amount of media staff that a show’s ever clocked in. Only six of the sixteen episodes have been shot in advance with the rest scheduled to film as the series airs, and with that said, the pressure’s completely off the charts.
Your outfit’s already decided on, your makeup’s already been put on a test run, and you and Yoongi have already been briefed for the possible questions. Everything’s almost set to go —
All you need is Jungkook there with you.
“It’s on Saturday,” you try to add casually as if you hadn’t checked the calendar three times before, gauging your husband’s reaction to see if he was onboard. “You’re not doing anything on Saturday… right?”
Jungkook stares back at you with his mouth parted open, eyes a little dry from unblinking while he weighs the logistics of it all.
It’s reasonable for you to want him there. He takes a certain pride knowing that you explicitly told him that you’d feel more relaxed if he’s there with you. You want him there and need him there more than ever.
Your marriage isn’t a secret. It just happened that it was never brought up.
Your agency knows, of course. In fact, they signed you even before you got engaged and even Jimin was invited to the wedding. You’re given the free will to announce your civil status to the public and have the company draw up an announcement for you. You aren’t obliged to reveal your relationship and most of the time, retaining it undisclosed gives you more job opportunities.
There’s no other person you take pride more in having besides your husband, but given your line of work, the ball’s in Jungkook’s court. You had no qualms letting it be known that you’re indeed married, but he was the one who advised you otherwise. Not once did you either make or respond to a comment regarding your relationship status, always finding a way to dodge the question.
Jungkook wants you to not acknowledge his existence — he denied the opportunity to be known as your husband. Even more, he denied the opportunity to make it known that you’re married in the first place.
For him, it’s because he thinks that your relationship status isn’t and shouldn’t be paramount to your jobs. He may not fully grasp your line of work like you do, but he doesn’t want to hold you back in case it’s a major factor in keeping you from your passion.
He wants you to be known for your skills and not from a bit of your personal life.
Jungkook doesn’t want his privacy, or anyone else related to him in that matter, to be unnecessarily hounded for the mere sake of it. More than ever, one glimpse of him is all that it could take for your bigger and newer base of fans to dissect his identity.
He knows that it pains you every now and then that you can’t show him off like how you used to before all the fame rolled in. Now, you’re not as comfortable with initiating PDA in front of your closest friends even if it’s in private spaces, in the suspicion that anyone could have their eyes on you with malicious intent.
It may be your career on the line but it’s Jungkook’s life that you’re more concerned about. You’ve grown to have thick skin under harsh lights and you don’t want to test if that same hypothesis works on your husband — you don’t want to risk anything that he doesn’t want to.
The ball’s in his court now when you ask him if he can be there for you in a press conference for the biggest thing in your career; in the same way that the ball was in his court if he wanted to let everyone know that he’s your husband.
“I can’t,” Jungkook kisses his teeth at the way your face falls immediately, even your quick work of trying to mask it doesn’t work because two seconds later, you realized that you’re allowed to be upset. “I have a thing on Saturday.”
This is love.
You don’t have to make love hard — as much as you can, you want it to be easy. This is supposed to be easy love.
“Okay, I understand.”
You’re only gonna wallow on Jungkook’s rejection today and once the clock turns for tomorrow, you’re gonna let it go. You’re gonna allow yourself to be upset and after that, you steel your nerves and just let it go.
Sometimes, love means that Jungkook can’t always be there for you when you need him.
Sometimes, love means that both you and Jungkook are busy with your own things on a Saturday.
( ♡ )
"I wish-"
"You wish Jungkook was here — yeah, I know," Seokjin sighs before you could even finish your sentence, having heard your profession of longing atleast thirty times before within the past hour.
Jin's entertaining to be with, much more talkative than his cousin Jungkook. You're close with your staff but he's perhaps the only one you could talk to without reservations, sparing no details with anything. Your husband only told you in passing three months ago that his older cousin finished his master's degree in cosmetology, and before he knew it, Jin was already hired as your head stylist.
"That wasn't what I was gonna say," you huff, crossing your arms across your chest but immediately retracting when he swats at them. He just steamed your top and you're already wrinkling it to his annoyance.
"Hm? What were you supposed to say then?"
He's talkative without being obnoxious, something you appreciate deeply. Jin was just sometimes too slippery with his words that you're taken off-guard sometimes.
It’s the day of the press conference and there's no point in denying that you need Jungkook here with you. Any type of caffeine in the morning was forgone but your fingers still shake, sweaty no matter how many times Jin wipes at them with a towel.
You've been part of this industry for years but this is the highest peak you've ever reached so far, the rational part of your brain thinking that it's realistic to become beyond nervous. The rational, realistic part of your brain also thinks that it's reasonable to miss Jungkook; perhaps to be even a little bit upset that he couldn't be here for you.
Jin waits for you with a raised brow, already smiling smugly when you release a defeated sigh.
"I wish Jungkook was here."
“I figured,” he solemnly smiles, about to pat the top of your head but upon realizing that he spent two hours perfecting it, settles for kissing his finger and tapping it on your cheek.
It's obvious that you've been out of it since this morning. You're not as bubbly or accommodating and you haven't even bantered with your co-star Yoongi, the playful tiffs already cemented as a staple within your genuine off-screen dynamic.
Jin recognizes that he's put in a semi-difficult spot between you and Jungkook, considering that the three of you are related to certain degrees. He gets your side but he also gets Jungkook's side of the equation too; it just happens that he chooses to empathize with you more.
“Chin up. It might seem like Sora still has that effect on him, but trust me, they’re really just friends.”
The gigantic dressing room you and Yoongi share never quiets down. It's hectic with everyone coming in and out of it, the buzzing serving as white noise to your thoughts. You're barely even listening to be honest, but at the mention of her, your breath hitches automatically.
Her, as in Sora.
Sora, as in Jungkook's ex he’s known for almost half of his life, and the woman he was in a relationship with for three years.
She was harmless as far as you knew. She was a memory of the past and reminded Jungkook of the simplest, happiest, and even the worst times of his life prior to meeting you.
You don’t feel insecure but if you must look at the time — you’ve known Jungkook for five years; four you know him of as a boyfriend, and one you know him of as a husband.
Sora doesn't intimidate you but the mark she left on him does. She's a memory that's timeless no matter how faded and bitter because she's your husband's first love. The two of them are cordial with each other, considering that they were friends before they became a couple.
You trust Jungkook.
What you don't trust is the overwhelming feeling of being overlooked in favor of her, no matter the context.
“Seokjin,” your blood runs cold because the grip you have on your chair loosens, the sudden stiffness of your body making Jin aware that this is only the first time you've heard of it.
You feel so much for your husband but none of it is of love at the moment. Your teeth grind together but it isn't because you're mad. Your eyes prick but it isn't because you're upset. Jungkook's unbelievable but it isn't the kind that makes your heart leap.
The composure retains in your body but you're certain that you're bound to lose it sometime. Maybe you're bound to lose it when you're about to get your pictures taken with Yoongi and you hold on to his forearm and realize that oh, your husband isn't watching. Maybe you're bound to lose it when you bow in front of the media panel and scan the room and realize that oh, your husband isn't here for you.
There's no exact time to when you're gonna lose it but you feel the bile rising in your throat. You weren't gonna puke anytime soon, but the bitter taste doesn't leave the roof of your mouth no matter how much you clench your jaw; you're losing it painfully slow.
“Where’s Jungkook?”
( ♡ )
It’s only meant to be a little tradition.
April 23 was only meant to be a tiny celebration. It used to be his and Sora’s day, a silly occasion they’d get together for. There’s nothing extravagantly special about the date — they just happened to be teenagers at one point, and did something monumental at the 23rd of April, then collectively decided that it was a date to remember.
That “monumental” occasion was as simple as them going to a tent bar. There wasn’t anything in the air that night besides the clear fog from both rain and the cold, but Jungkook remembers that night to be warm.
They were friends at the time, and although none of them tried to tiptoe the line by then, Jungkook could recall every single thing they discussed despite being drunk. Sora made him laugh so much over something mundane and he doesn’t know why he laughed that hard, but he could still remember how his throat hurt so much from giggling.
April 23 was already a special date before it coincidentally became the same day he formally asked Sora out. It just happened to be their anniversary later on, but even without the occurrence of the latter, it would still be dear.
Jungkook’s long over Sora and it’s evident. He’s completely moved on and he doesn’t have any bit of hate tied towards her. 
It’s just recognition, he figures. He recognizes that the particular date, for several consecutive years, was the happiest day of his life. He recognizes that at one point, Sora was the woman he loved most and made him the happiest. 
When Jungkook celebrates April 23, he celebrates a fond and warm memory he had at a tent bar with Sora. 
When Sora celebrates April 23, she relishes the memory of her best friend becoming her boyfriend; the love of her life at both phases.
The date was at a Saturday, as in the same exact weekend that your drama’s conference was on. Jungkook didn’t even realize it at first that both dates coincided, and although he did tell you that he wouldn’t be able to be there for you and you understood, he can’t help but feel guilty.
The press conference is available for livestream and even if he’s just one click of a link away because you sent it to him, Jungkook couldn’t even stomach to open your message.
In hindsight, he doesn’t even know what exactly he’s scared for that he denied the opportunity to be there with you. He can’t recall anything now; were the concerns he initially had so troubling that he couldn’t be there for you?
He vaguely remembers that it’s his concerns for his privacy. In actuality, Jungkook could’ve strolled in there with a staff ID and no one would’ve questioned his identity. He could’ve been there with you disguised as anyone but your husband — but he chose not to.
He’s oblivious to your turmoil because if he were to switch on the livestream now, he’d know that your gaze is distant while Namjoon’s discussing his inspiration behind this screenplay. He’s talking about love and commitment and labels and if Jungkook were to look at your blank yet weighted gaze right now, he’d know what you were thinking.
Is the prospect of being known as your husband so unappealing to him?
Jungkook’s guilty enough to swallow the fact that you’re too understanding towards him. If the roles were reversed and you told him you had a thing on the same exact day he needed you, he’d be upset beyond reprieve.
Maybe you were upset at him, but you just didn’t tell. Maybe if the roles were reversed, Jungkook thinks he’d only be upset at you for a maximum of a whole day, and attempt to not think of it for any longer.
Jungkook’s guilty, but not guilty enough to let the remorse he has to take over his whole day. Last year, he celebrated the day by buying twenty-three things for himself, no matter how self-indulgent it felt. 
The twenty-three things he bought were a mix of both necessities and luxuries, one being a bigger bottle of shampoo and one being a designer pair of sneakers.
You were out of the house that day, distinctly remembering that you were taking new headshots the whole morning. Jungkook, however, felt too selfish that he bought all these things for himself so he made sure to grab more than a couple of items for you, having to take two trips to his car to load all the bags in his hands.
You laughed, asked playfully what was the occasion, and when he didn’t answer — you didn’t push.
April 23, for the last five years, was celebrated by Jungkook alone. 
He’s guilty, but not guilty enough to look at his phone when it rang and the caller ID belonged to Sora.
He’s guilty, but not guilty enough to take on her invite for a café brunch because she was in the area. She was familiar in the sense that even if her presence in his life is no longer constant, the moment he sees her, it’s as if they’ve met everyday.
Sora’s familiar to the point that Jungkook knows about her quirks and flaws. The said traits of hers have long changed and evolved and although Jungkook doesn’t know the current versions of them, the remaining knowledge he has about her makes no move in losing his mind.
The two of them are old, casual friends that are merely catching up. Jungkook doesn’t yearn for his past with Sora nor long for any future with her, but whatever it is that they’re doing now, placates both of them.
“So? How’s everything going?” Sora asks with a laugh across in a restaurant they used to frequent years ago. It’s changed through the years and although the lighting has been changed and the menu has been swapped out, it’s still the same. It’s old and outdated, but it’s familiar.
Sora didn’t ask him what he wanted and instead, ordered what the two of them always used to eat. Jungkook isn’t even sure if she realizes that she did it out of routine, but when platters of both lasagna and chicken wings are dropped onto the table, that’s when Sora’s face flushes at the recognition that she didn’t even think twice.
The lasagna tasted more sour than the last time they ate it years ago. Jungkook grew out of his fixation on cheesy, melt-in-your-mouth, twenty-seconds-to-chew lasagna. The chicken wings tasted less of fresh cooking oil and more of battery acid than the last time they ate it years ago. Sora lost her affinity for marinated in butter, heavily-seasoned, too-hot-to-eat chicken wings.
They grew out of it.
They grew out of each other in the same way that their used-to-be favorite restaurant evolved. The establishment was modernized but in certain ways, it was still outdated. The cushions in the booths have been re-upholstered but the foam is still lived-in; the chalkboard menus have only been painted over but the chips on the frame are still visible.
“Everything’s been good with me,” Jungkook says with affirmation, a dimpled smile present on his face. It’s not like Sora would ever doubt his answer because notably enough, Jungkook himself knows that he looks and feels the best he’s ever did.
“How about you?” he returns the question politely, earning a laugh at his promptness.
“Everything been great with me too.”
For two hours, the two of them catch up for the past years they haven’t accounted for. There’s patches of silence here and there but it was needed, serving as a comfortable reminder that they’re only here for April 23.
Jungkook has a habit of playing with his wedding ring during conversations but it was only then did he realize that you took both of your bands to get it cleaned yesterday. He realizes it now, unsure to whether it’s a blessing or not that out of all days, it had to be now when he’s in front of his ex, at this exact date.
They’ve perhaps caught up with everything but one, the topic of their current relationship statuses off the table. Sora doesn’t ask and Jungkook doesn’t bring it up either. 
Jungkook doesn’t know if his moral compass directed him the best it ever could today. He doesn’t feel the guilt when he’s driving home, but he does feel it when you come home a little later at night than what you’ve promised him, the tinge of alcohol slightly stuck to your clothes. There should be no intense guilt that he knows of because the way he justifies it in his head, you trust him completely and Sora’s merely a friend. 
The guilt that sticks with him tonight is that he should’ve told you what April 23 means to him, why he chose not to come to your press conference, and that he met up with Sora today — and that those three things intersecting today was unplanned. 
He asks you about your day, you answer, but you don’t ask him about his. Jungkook knows you’re upset at him for not coming out to support you today, but he figures to apologize to you and come clean about his day tomorrow. You’re irritable tonight for an additional reason more that he doesn’t know of so he doesn’t push it. Tonight, Jungkook doesn’t know that Seokjin accidentally ratted him out to you this morning; he doesn’t know that you know he met up with his ex.
You hold it together tonight. You hold every bit of your building insecurity and anguish because frankly enough, holding a conversation after today would make your head explode. Confrontation is avoided for tonight because if you think about exerting your mind for longer than a minute, you would be physically sick.
The guilt sticks with him when your back is turned to him and you only hum when he greets you good night. You must’ve already been knocked out when he tells you he loves you, but either way, the lack of the words echoed back to him haunts Jungkook a little more.
The bedroom’s pitch black and it’s enough for the guilt to subside momentarily, but a single stray thought passes Jungkook’s mind and his inability to answer it is jarring enough to make it seem like the room was on fire, his lying figure going tense beside you.
If Sora had asked him if he was married, Jungkook’s unsure if he would’ve told her the truth.
( ♡ )
Jungkook has an ex.
Her name’s Sora, something that just slips right off the tongue but doesn’t make it anything less than unforgettable. You don’t know her personally but you know of her — you know her in the light of your husband’s eyes. 
She's pretty. A humble type of pretty that still hates her nose and the back camera, the type that doesn't know just how beautiful she is. Jungkook spared you the details of what she looked like, but from what you’ve heard from his cousin and his friends, both her features and aura are exactly what would sound like Jeon Jungkook’s first love. 
She's funny, in the same exact way that effortlessly makes Jungkook snort under his breath. They were a lot like each other, you’ve figured. You haven’t seen any photos of them but if you were, you bet everything that Jungkook would have the biggest smile you’ll ever see. 
She tries, but she doesn't try too hard.
He’s told you about his past relationship in passing, affirmative that he might have glossed over some details to spare you from any hurt. Jungkook speaks about Sora like she’s a memory and not merely an ex-girlfriend that took up years of his life.
Maybe it’s because Jungkook talks a little more and enunciates a little louder when he talks about the things he loves. He told you about Sora in the same way he told you about his recollection of his first international trip with his parents as a child: fond and unyielding.
You know Sora in the way that Jungkook described her to you — there’s no other way. There’s no anger you can harbor nor distaste because in any way that you look at it, you don’t know her.
You know Sora as the girl who had helped Jungkook through the tough times he had growing up — she’s his first love for a reason. He told you about her and you accepted it; even thanked him for being open because not everyone would willingly talk about their past relationships to their current partners. He had told you about her when you were just his girlfriend at the time, pleasantly surprised that you didn’t react adversely by the time he was finished.
There's nothing you can do about it. Sora belongs in Jungkook’s past, while you belong to both Jungkook’s present and future. In a way, you're grateful for her — in some somber, reminiscent, slightly odd way, you’re thankful for Sora taking care of Jungkook before you came into his life.
The weight of Jungkook refusing to be with you at an important milestone in your life in favor of celebrating his anniversary with his ex hasn’t fully materialized yet. It hasn’t weighed down on your bones yet, nor has it filled up your lungs.
The hurt you accumulate shows up as rocks, filling your pockets with each one to hide them. It isn’t heavy yet but it’s a heaviness that you notice, the weight enough for you to function slower but not enough for you to pour over.
It’s been two days and Jungkook still hasn’t admitted it to you.
Jungkook wanted to tell you as soon as you woke up the next day but you weren’t there the moment his alarm rang and he chalked it up to your schedule. He figured it was a blessing in disguise because he needed more time reformulating what he was about to say to you, thinking of the best way to deliver the truth in the most casual, non-hurtful way possible.
He figured it was a blessing in disguise until you came home that night much later than you usually did. He waited for you all night and consolidated with himself that he was about to tell you no matter what happens today, but the moment you come through the door, he reconsidered tremendously.
You came home to him with your physique evidently tired, manifesting into a scowl on your visage that makes him avoid eye contact. Better yet, you weren’t even giving any eye contact to him and despite the scowl on your face, Jungkook tried to chase your eyes even if he felt discouraged for a reason.
You looked like you were deep in thought and irritable at that. You looked like you were about to be set off any minute now, and while reconsidering what he was supposed to say, Jungkook’s certain that his supposed confession wouldn’t lighten your mood the slightest bit.
His worry for you trumped the guilt that he felt, welcoming the feeling of concern because even if both things made him feel at unease, it was the one he’s more willing to bear.
Only for tonight, he thought. I’m keeping this with me only until tonight, he mumbled to himself in the bathroom because while you were fast asleep, he had to get away briefly because the guilt was starting to consume him little by little.
It’s the second day and Jungkook still hasn’t come clean to you.
You don’t wait for him to approach you, though. You don’t give him any easy openings as if it’s just him asking for cuddles and you’re lingering by the couch, popping the question so he wouldn’t have the trouble of asking for it. For two days, you don’t give Jungkook the ease you normally would.
The easy-going nature of your dynamic, or atleast what came from your side, has basically dissipated in the past forty-eight hours. You don’t wait for Jungkook to come around; you move. 
You move as if you live alone in the moments of whatever’s left of you that hasn’t succumbed to your career. If Jungkook wanted to tell you, he would squeeze himself into your schedule somehow. He would be stubborn and plead you to hear him out. He’s already done this before, and it was for the aftermath of a fight that isn’t even as big as this impending one is.
You haven’t lost it completely. Not yet.
There’s a timer that’s ticking at the back of your mind and you don’t know how much longer you can take — of how longer can you take the weight of your insecurity growing, and the weight of Jungkook keeping things from you.
You have to destress yourself somehow because the resumption of your shooting doesn’t begin for another two weeks and you don’t know if you could hold out for that long, wanting to bury yourself in actual work so a single thought that bloomed into everything much more ugly wouldn’t consume you.
There’s only one thing you could think of.
“And what exactly are you doing here?”
Visit your parents in the shop.
Your dad has his nose playfully upturned, pretending to grimace when you hug him with his apron still on but later returns your embrace. The shop you grew up with still stands as it was the day you left your hometown, the charming family business that put food on the table never weakening.
Your family ran a film developing shop, initially supported only by your neighborhood by the time you were born. It grew into something bigger gradually by the time you could walk and your head could peek out past the counter, when people who needed their headshots taken were accommodated; when orders started rushing in from the city.
It grew bigger that by the time the store accommodated family portrait shoots and you could manage the register and work in the darkroom, a loyal customer surprised your family by making a website and orders started coming in twofold.
It grew to the point that your family’s shop was considered a marvel, until your parents had to hire actual employees and not just you. You grew with the shop; it got you through elementary and paid for your acting classes in high school. You worked the darkrooms until literally the only thing you could see is red; you’ve slept on the floors and kicked out rude customers before; the stepping stool you used as a child to operate the register is still alive to this day.
The shop’s become a part of you, one of the only safe havens you have that no one could bother you. No fans could reach you here; no prying media now that you’re overwhelmingly getting more and more famous as the nights pass. The thought of Jungkook with Sora can’t follow you here.
You’re supposed to be safe here.
“I’m helping out,” you roll your eyes at your dad, intentionally bumping him with your hip as you toddle over to your mother who’s patiently waiting for your hug. 
The space behind the counter is still a tight fit with the three of you behind it, having to walk sideways to maneuver if you really wanted to function normally. 
“Where’s Jungkook?” your mom asks, handing you your apron that they specifically kept by the back closet. There was only fifteen minutes until opening and you could see a forming queue outside, the thrill of working at the shop coming back steadily.
“He’s busy,” you reply without a second thought, the answer suspiciously coming out fast of your mouth before they could add any additional sentiments. She nods in understanding, although it isn’t lost in you that she’s nodding to herself behind your back, seemingly keeping her confusion at bay for the meantime.
You have a lot of homes. One’s with Jungkook, one’s with your parents. The shop is your home. When your husband drives and it’s night outside and the airconditioning’s a perfect amount of cold, the car becomes your home. When Seokjin does your hair and makeup in an outside shoot and he puts heat packs on the chair for you to sit on warmly, the chair becomes your home.
Almost everything could be your home. With the people you love, with the weather you like, and with the worn-out things you find comfort in.
“You’re back!” Mr. Kim exclaims as soon as he makes eye contact with you, recognizing you who was once the little girl that could barely rip out receipts that later grew through the years, despite the mask you wore as a precaution in case anybody recognized you. 
“Only for the day though. I still have that other job, y’know?” you grin from underneath your mask but he returns it right back, supplying an exaggerated wink to get your point across.
“Oh, of course, of course! Whatever that other job might be!” Mr. Kim throws in a wink with a force that’s enough to make both eyes blink, pulling out a chortle you’ve been keeping in since he walked in. “By the way, employee I’ve never seen in my life, can you perhaps sign the back of the receipt? My granddaughter is a very big fan of receipts.”
“Is she now?” you laugh, taking in the meal container he puts his film rolls in (he’s done this your whole life) and swiping in your card sneakily to give him a discount. “Does she take A4 receipts too? There’s no invoice though, only signatures.”
Mr. Kim’s grin takes up his whole face, kind eyes about to cry from how giddy he is to give it to his granddaughter. “Of course! She loves the receipts with inspirational messages!”
Your dad who’d been watching your whole interaction urges the both of you to sit on the side before your whole conversation could possibly be any more obvious, attending to the next person in line. It’s smooth from there, your head feeling unbelievably light because the thought of Jungkook doesn’t cross your mind even once.
If anybody notices you, no one says a thing. A customer or four lingered around even when you gave them their receipt, but not one of them asks you who you are.
It’s nearing lunch break when someone comes in and you’re the only one up front, your parents working the darkrooms to process orders and the other employees working the studios to take portraits.
“Hi,” the tall man greets, grabbing a handful of canisters from his tote bag to place neatly on the counter. He feels familiar to you, his tall stature bringing a few people into mind. “All of these, please. There’s only – ah, wait, sorry! There’s more.”
He’s sheepish, growing embarrassed at the amount of canisters he’s pulling out. He’s at canister number nine now, fishing the last one. “Sorry, I can’t even remember when I took these. I just recently cleaned out my room the other day.”
The guy finally stops rambling and pulls out his wallet, giving you the idea that he must be a regular at the shop with the way he’s casual in making conversation. “By the way, is there-…”
The words lodge at his throat when he makes eye contact with you, your train of thought instantly halting when you make the realization.
“Eunwoo,” you say his name, nodding politely when he does the same in a haze. You recognize him as Jungkook’s friend, one that neither of you have seen in years. The two of you aren’t particularly close but being courteous wouldn’t hurt.
“Y/N, hey,” he smiles tightly, slightly bowing. There’s an awkward air of silence between the two of you, the thought in your head simmering that now that you think about it, you don’t even know why he and Jungkook fell out.
“I didn’t know you… worked here?” he trails unsurely, gaining a breathless chuckle from you because he’s perhaps the first person outside of your closest circle of friends that knew of your connection with the shop.
“My family owns this shop, actually,” you hum, tilting your head down to his films. “Are you a regular here? I haven’t really been home for years.”
“Yeah, yeah. I am,” he nods, scratching the back of his head. He hands you the exact amount of money plus extra, the words coming out of him before you could ask. “Rush order, please. Whenever’s the earliest.”
Eunwoo felt off. More off than the last time you saw him because frankly put, he isn’t exactly the warmest with you even if you’re with Jungkook. At your first meeting he came across as someone who didn’t even want to sit in the same table as you, pursing his lips whenever you talked or addressed him.
“My number’s already in the system. Please text me when it’s finished. Bye,” he wraps off whatever miniscule moment the two of you shared for in under three minutes, seemingly in a hurry to get out of the shop.
That’s awkward, he thinks to himself. After all, Sora’s his cousin — not to mention, he used to look up to Jungkook as a brother.
The whole interaction was off but you don’t want to dwell on it any further, instead switching up the signs and locking the door. If only you knew that the guy standing in front of you just seconds ago would be Sora’s cousin, maybe you wouldn’t be as eager to process the negatives.
Maybe if you knew that your husband and Eunwoo used to be close, with Sora as their initial common denominator, you wouldn’t be as eager to go to the darkroom to process his orders in an instant.
Maybe if you knew that your arrival in Jungkook’s life would unintentionally make his friendship with Eunwoo fall out, making the latter unabashedly angry at you, you wouldn’t be as eager to process memories.
Maybe if Jungkook was just a little more honest and sensible, and maybe if you were more shameless in confronting him all the time — you wouldn’t be as hurt as you are now.
This shop’s your home; no one should be able to harm you here.
There shouldn’t be any bit of anguish or insecurity you should feel because this is supposed to be your safe space. You shouldn’t feel the urge to throw up and clench your jaw to stop yourself from crying because this is your space. This was supposed to be a space that you’re free from insecurity.
You’ve gone through all of the rolls until it was late afternoon and had them developed and fixed within the timeframe. You go through the motions of work and hang them out to dry before you get to scanning and printing them later. You go through the work you’ve always done and it’s only when you return later on to double-check everything and assess your work. To see if there’s any flaws in your work because it’s been awhile since you’ve last developed film. To see if you had to make any apologies in case any of the prints were processed wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with your work.
You wish there’s something wrong with your work.
Out of the hundreds of pictures you’ve developed from Eunwoo’s ten rolls of film, there’s one picture that stands out to you. It stand out like a sore thumb from a sea of unfamiliar places and lousy shots of flowers. It sticks out from the lines of pictures in the darkroom, the picture clear as day even if you thought your prescription needed updating.
It’s Jungkook and Sora.
It’s the two of them sat next to each other at the beach, Jungkook’s hand around her shoulders and Sora’s hand around his waist. They’re close even if they’re sitting on a log together, flowers perched on top of their ears. They’re beaming with pride and the flash highlights their happiness even further — Jungkook having the biggest and happiest smile you’ve ever seen on him. There’s a timestamp at the bottom right corner, reading clear as day; April 23 ‘XX.
The year reads out as the year before you met him. The day reads out as the exact day of your press conference, only years before. The same exact date a few years forward to reach this year, reads as the same day that you needed Jungkook the most — but it just happened that he was with his first love, Sora, someone who isn’t you.
There’s only so much you could take.
Your anger blinds you and renders you to just move. You pluck out the picture from the line with no regard of who you’re taking it from. You just move and leave the shop and drive with no regard to anything besides the anger and despair that you feel.
The picture lays on the passenger seat and you have to resist the urge to look at it because doing so makes you want to rip it apart; to see it made you feel embarrassed. To see Jungkook so affectionate and physical with his love, even in front of people at a fucking beach party of all places, puts you to shame.
It’s perhaps the anger clouding your head that dismantles your memories but you think that Jungkook’s never been this way with you. He hasn’t smiled at you this hard nor shown you off this good.
It’s perhaps the thoughts that beat down on your head that it forms a migraine because you're so fixed on your lover's past love, you seek out what he once loved. 
Never have you had the urge to search Sora up and tonight was the the first time you’ve ever seen her, in a picture with your husband no less. You always wondered what she looked like but now that you know, you wish that urge never materialized.
You seek out what he once loved in the hopes that if only you looked like her a little more or acted more like she did, maybe Jungkook would love you the same way that he loved her. 
Love’s grounds shouldn’t only be founded on reciprocity but there’s no other time than now for you to desire to be selfish. There’s a desire in you to account for every single thing you did for Jungkook and every single thing he didn’t do for you. It feels like you love him more than he loves you and in your mind riddled with nothing but anger, it sickens you.
The all-consuming thought that perhaps Jungkook doesn’t love you enough because the bigger, more-loving part of his heart doesn’t belong to you, but to Sora instead, makes your body shut down. 
When you slam the door open to your home and you’re looking at Jungkook, devoid of patience and every ounce of love you tried to give him, there’s a haunting realization in his spine that settles: you know. You knew even before he could muster the courage to tell you.
There’s no accusations that fall from your lips even if you’re seeing red. There’s no assertions that you make, the question that leaves your lips reflecting how you looked at the entirety of this.
“Why did you even marry me?”
Jungkook’s mind goes into overdrive when you point a stern finger at him, filled with nothing but rage when you thrust something to his chest shakily, albeit gently.
He doesn’t know whether to speak first or grab whatever it is that you put to his chest, sputtering over nothing when he glances down and sees himself — him and Sora, on April 23, a few years ago.
“Why did you even marry me when you don’t smile like that when you’re with me?” you seethe, the tears pouring angrily down your cheeks with no cue at all. “Why did you marry me when you’re happy with her?”
“Where’s all this coming from?” he whispers under his breath, the furrow in his brow settling when he crumples the picture in his hand and throws it to the table.
“Oh no, no, Jungkook. You don’t get to avoid this,” a pained laugh escapes you, leaning to unfold the picture and show it to his face more closely this time, the bitterness evident in your voice. “Does Sora even know that you’re married?”
The question makes his jaw clench, the instinct to play with his wedding band that’s now been picked up from the store just awhile ago coming up to the surface. It reminds him how he hadn’t been wearing it when he met Sora, all the way down to the flawed slippery slope that she didn’t ask, so he didn’t tell.
He says it in a meek mumble but you hear it loud and clear, eliciting a scoff that’s pure out offended. You don’t know if you’re surprised at all because hell, even some of the friends that Jungkook’s in good terms with don’t even know that he’s married. 
It was no longer a concept of whether they asked, it was him about not wanting to make it known at all.
“I’m protecting you,” he adds sternly, glossing over his concerns for your career and safety. You don’t see it at all because it sounds like static to your ears, all coming down to the conclusion and the truth that when Jungkook didn’t tell Sora that he was married, it was for every other reason besides that.
“You’re protecting me from what? From who? You’re protecting me from your ex-girlfriend?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “Or are you protecting her?”
You’re not outright accusing him but it seems like that way to him, making his jaw tick. He’s blinded by his pride, one that didn’t know how to deal with you when you were angry at him. Rarely did you ever feel so mad at him, but with the reasoning behind it, perhaps mad wasn’t even the word.
“Why are you so worked up about this?” he seethes in defense, hot on your heels when he follows you.
“Fuck, Jungkook! Are you really asking me that right now?” you exclaim, gripping your hair in frustration. He’s too shallow to argue with you, not even grasping how serious it is. “You wanna know why I’m so worked up about this?” you laugh, the sound coming off as patronizing that it makes his jaw clench.
The weight that builds up in your head is too much, too much that you feel your head physically lulling backwards. The insecurity that forms from the top of your head all the way down to your toes wraps around you too tightly that it felt harder to breathe by the minute.
“Because I’m not your first love, Jungkook.”
When you speak, you don’t know that you tremble. When you point your finger to Jungkook, you don’t know that you feel smaller by the minute.
When you convince yourself that Jungkook loves you the most, more than he had ever loved Sora, the image of her along with your husband looking the happiest appears in your head.
“I’m not your first girlfriend! I’m not her,” you spit because you can’t even stomach saying her name now, the two syllables enough to make your eyes shut in anger. “I’m not your first kiss, I’m not the first girl you introduced to your parents!” you raise your voice, seething because when you think of red, Jungkook’s image of happiness becomes the darkroom of your insecurities. There’s an inkling that you’re hitting deep but you can’t find it in yourself to care, the lump finally unlodged from your throat. “I’m not your first fuck.”
His voice is hoarse, clearly warning you to not go any further than you did. He’s hurt, the pride he tried to keep just minutes ago completely missing.
“You loved Sora first.”
“I love you,” Jungkook counters. If you won’t listen to him then he atleast needs to say something so mundane, but something so intimate to knock you off-guard. He doesn’t say it much but he means it whenever he does, hoping that it’s sufficient.
It’s not.
“You don't love me enough."
You say it with such a finality that Jungkook staggers on his footing even with no external force to it, the anger you felt transitioning into the sadness you’ve been harboring. You’ve thought about it non-stop especially for the past two days, the words finally being uttered for him to hear. "We should cool off."
Jungkook’s face pales, his previously clenched fists going limp at his sides. The voice is caught on his throat and he doesn’t even know if there are any words to say.
"Let's break up for a month,” you propose in a lighter tone, the roles being reversed because you’re the one looking down and Jungkook’s the one who’s desperate to keep your eyes on him. “I want to break up with you because maybe you'd love me more by then."
You beat him to his thoughts because it’s clear that he’s spiraling, your voice a complete turn as it’s gentle, no longer coated with anger. “We’re not divorcing. It’s just a break.”
Jungkook suddenly snaps out of it seemingly because he shakes his head fervently, not once breaking eye contact. 
“I’m not hearing this.”
If he stares at you hard enough, maybe you’d admit that you were being irrational. If he stands still enough for you to notice that he’s crying, you’d retract what you just said.
If Jungkook prays hard enough that the two of you could avoid this and head to bed tonight with no irrational thoughts, you’d tell him that you aren’t pushing through with your proposal.
“I’m not fighting with you.”
He says it with finality, leaving before you could do so and heads to your shared bedroom. He thinks it's just the heat of the moment, that you're not actually going through. 
You go into bed with him, and even if you don’t face him, Jungkook relishes in the warmth you provide. He wills himself not to sleep just to be sure you wouldn’t leave him, but somewhere along the way of him being too distraught that his body forced his mind to shut down, you were gone before his alarm went off.
It’s probably just your schedule. This is routine. You wouldn’t push through with what you said last night.
You go into schedule that morning with your eyes bloodshot, with Jimin excusing you immediately to ask if everything was okay. You go with your day with Seokjin looking at you with utmost concern, handling you like you were fragile because you didn’t talk the whole time. You start your day with your stylists poking each other in the eye intentionally to try and see which eyedrops would work the best on your eyes, to conceal the fact that you’ve cried the most you ever did last night.
You start the day with a televised interview, with Min Yoongi right by your side.
There’s no briefing at all for the interview, no cue sheet that made it more nerve-wracking for any celebrity that had a slippery mouth. There’s no holding back, especially coming from the interviewer that spared no tact.
“Do you have a husband or y’know, perhaps a boyfriend? Anyone special at all?”
You think of saying that you have Jungkook — that you have a husband but the answer gets caught in your throat. You remove your wedding ring for work, and only then do you realize that you haven’t been wearing it at all for the past three days.
Your pause is evident, unbeknownst to you. Your manager Jimin knows it, the interviewer knows it, the live audience knows it.
Your parents know it. Jungkook knows it.
You try to open your mouth again but it’s only a chuckle that leaves you, unintentionally raising more commotion from the crowd. You try to rally everything within your mind, the hurt that manifested as rocks in your pocket increasingly become heavier by each second of silence that you let pass; your husband still celebrates his anniversary with his ex; Jungkook's ex doesn't know that he's married to you.
The answer’s clear — it’s as clear as the articles of speculation that would pop out even before this interview wraps up, garnering more unwanted attention to yourself.
The bitterness of regret is proof you’ve atleast tried something. 
Jungkook’s heart belongs to you but you failed to consider that the first one who built it has perhaps already settled there. If your love belongs to the ground floor then perhaps her love belongs to the basement. If your love is the ceiling then maybe her love is the foundation. 
If Jungkook’s heart is a newly-built house, then maybe the more that it settles into the ground, the closer he becomes to his roots. 
You aren’t his roots. Sora is.
Jungkook watches your interview from home, the hurt that bubbles up from the tip of his head coming down to the weight on his hands that tries to placate him by playing with his wedding band. He counts the digits that make him calm, willing everything in as the clamor from the crowd gets more fervent.
Four seconds. Breathe in through your nose.
Seven seconds. Hold it.
Eight seconds. Exhale through your mouth.
You beam at the interviewer as if you haven’t spent a lifetime thinking of your answer, shaking your head with a poised gesture of your left hand, devoid of any proof that tied you to Jungkook.
“I’m single.”
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bellatrixscurls · 4 months ago
the angel to his demons / nate jacobs
warnings : smut, all acts are consensual, mentions of cheating and breaking up, petite fem reader, soft nate (he isn’t an asshole), overthinking, mentions of cassie, sub reader and dom nate, unprotected sex.
summary : nate likes how you make him feel, and is ready to lose everything for you.
a/n : the writing is shitty but i really love the idea :,) <3
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your day was tiring, and finally coming home to your sweet bed was unmatched.
you were changing to a pair of sweats and a tshirt when you heard a strange noise from the bathroom. “mum?” the door was barely open and you approached it fearfully, knowing that your mum wouldn’t be home until five. “mum, if you’re cleaning, please don’t throw away my—”
“i’m not your mum” you heard a very familiar voice say, but your hand still flew to your chest, holding it as your eyes widened anxiously.
he revealed his tall frame as he pushed the door open, carelessly moving to sit on your bed.
you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “what’s with you here?”
“i was around, and i thought you could use my company” he smirked, beckoning you over with two fingers.
“i don’t” you gave him a tight lipped smile, “but i know who would” you moved to sit on his lap as he rocked you gently back and forth.
nate jacobs was many things. most of all, he was abusive, manipulative and domineering. but he tried to be gentle with you. he didn’t know why, and he most likely didn’t want to know why.
so he hummed, ignoring the way your words so slightly angered him, and instead he buried his face into your neck. “you look pretty” he murmured.
you gasped as one of his hands that was holding your waist slid lower and under your sweats, cupping your pulsing sex. “nate, i-” “shh, angel. you want this, don’t you?” he looked up at you with big doe eyes as he leaned against your shoulder.
“i do” you said truthfully and your arms wrapped around his neck. of course you did, how could you not want him when he treated you with so much care.
“you do” he repeated breathily, smiling to himself as he used his hand to move your underwear to the side, massaging your folds. you could hear how wet you were, and you were sure that didn’t slip past nate. “you’re so wet, angel. always such a good girl for me” he praised under his breath, feeling himself grow hard if he wasn’t already.
“i am?” you whimpered, your hands twitching around his neck as they went to grip his shirt, wanting to pull it off him.
nate’s right hand squeezed your hip as two of his fingers pushed into you, leaving you squirming. his eyes were on you now, he loved watching you like this, he really did. he enjoyed when you were feeling good, when he was making you feel good.
“yeah” he curled his fingers inside of you, gasping when you did as your nails dug into his back through his shirt.
as nate’s fingers reached deeper spots inside of you, you couldn’t help but shake on top of him, and he couldn’t help but wish he were more rough with you, maybe manhandling you or even making you take it dry.
what if he couldn’t do it because you were playing with his mind? you? manipulating him?
“nate?” you asked worriedly, brushing your small hand across his cheek. his fingers had stopped working on your sopping cunt a while ago as nate kept being stuck in his own mind.
as he looked up at you, he realised that he hated his mind. he hated how it created its own image of you, that didn’t coincide with what you really were.
nate saw it in your eyes, you cared for him.
“are you okay?” you asked meekly when he didn’t reply. but instead of talking, nate smashed his lips on yours, devouring your mouth like it was the last time. he knew it wasn’t the last time.
“strip” he groaned against your lips, throwing you on the bed like you weighed nothing. nate pulled off his clothes quickly, throwing them around like he wouldn’t need them later, and he wanted to believe that.
when he looked up, he saw your naked form and it only fed into his addiction. he felt powerful as he hovered over your small body, propping himself up on his elbows on each side of your head. “you make me lose myself” he breathily admitted, pursing his lips as he regretted his words. it was like he couldn’t stop talking.
he used one of his knees to part your legs as he now stood in between them, “and i don’t like myself, angel. not one bit” he murmured as he leaned in, to the point where you could feel his breath on your face.
“you don’t have to” you said softly, rubbing his arm as your eyes locked with his, “i like you for the both of us.”
nate felt his heart swell. your eyes were big and genuine, and he felt powerless when he looked at them. he felt like you owned him. nate didn’t like to feel owned. but then again, he didn’t like lots of things, yet he was there with you.
he took a deep breath as he moved to lean against your headboard, and you looked at him confusedly. “come here” he instructed softly, giving you a helping hand, but truly pulling you onto his lap.
and you obeyed immediately, because what wouldn’t you do for your nate?
you were comfortably sat on his lap, and his hands found your hips, rubbing your skin gently as he looked you up and down, “d-did i do something wrong?”
“yeah” he whispered, looking up at you and your eyes widened, not expecting that to be answer. he smiled, “you made me want you, angel. to keep you all to myself and ruin you for anyone else. that’s what you did wrong... and i’m afraid you’re gonna realise and leave me.”
you wouldn’t. “i won’t” you shook your head, sitting up a bit so he could align his cock with your entrance. nate looked up at you for consent, which you gave immediately, and he helped you sink down on his length “i love you” you whimpered before you lost your common sense, before you lost yourself to nate.
his cock twitched inside of you right when the words left your mouth. his hands gripped your hips tighter, slamming you up and down on his cock. “don’t say that” he shook his head and you leaned into his warmth, staying glued to his chest all while he kept thrusting into you.
“i love you, nate. i love you” you kept murmuring as you pressed open mouthed kisses to the hot skin of his neck, “c-can’t help it. you can hate me b-but i won’t stop saying it.”
he didn’t say anything. he only groaned against your hair, fingernails digging into the supple flesh of your ass as he gave some rest to your weak legs.
once he’d found your gspot, he kept hitting it, making you cry out as you held onto his biceps, feeling like he was splitting you open. “m so close” you mewled, “i wanna cum, please.”
“so cum” he groaned as you squeezed around him, your head dropping against his chest as you released around him, breathing heavily. and nate was close behind you. with a particularly hard thrust, he stilled inside of you and painted your walls with his cum, moaning loudly into your hair.
it was the next morning, and you were alone on your bed. of course, all good things must come to an end. and that’s how it always ended when nate came around, leaving you with a broken heart.
the bathroom door opened on its own again “gotta clean up now, angel” he said as he stepped into the room again, a towel on his hand.
you cursed under your breath, looking at him wide-eyed, “n-nate? you came back?”
he frowned, “no?.. when did i leave?”
and that’s what shocked you even more, “but what about cassie?”
nate extended his hand and you took it. his touch was gentle as he guided you into the bathroom, turning the shower on. he was silent as he helped you in, he didn’t know what to say. he could lie, he was good at that, but then again — how could he lie to his angel? the one who saved him.
“i know you don’t wanna talk about it but-.. i just want to know. i want to know of you, nate” you spoke softly as he squeezed some shampoo out of the bottle, rubbing it between his palms before they found your scalp. “because i care about you. i really do. and this whole thing just, it blows my mind” you looked at him through the mirror, and his eyes found yours as he leaned in to kiss your neck from behind.
“i love you” he admitted and your eyebrows raised. you’d heard those words come out of his mouth before, not directed towards you though. it was because he couldn’t lie to you and couldn’t bear you getting hurt. but now he really meant them, and you could feel it. “i do, angel. i’ll leave her for you, alright? once i leave, i promise i’ll go straight to cassie’s and break up with her.”
it made you smile, how much different he was from the arrogant little prick he usually was. “you will?”
he came to face you now, his eyes glued to yours. “i will. i’d do anything for you, little angel.”
his hand was caressing your face as you smiled at him, and nate couldn’t be happier. naked, in a cold bathroom, giving a warm bubbly bath to the love of his life after an amazing night spent together.
nate jacobs was falling, and he wasn’t mad about it.
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manjiroscum · 3 months ago
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Character/s: mafia boss stepfather!Ran Haitani
Warnings: f!reader, sexual themes, mature language, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink, oral sex (m! and f!receiving), dark content, murder, unplanned pregnancy, mentions of one-night stand, mentions of public sex, cheating/infidelity, age gap (reader is 20+ and Ran is 35), blood, violence, death, pseudocest, and petnames used. Minors do not interact.
Note: this is for @novaresque's Dirty Money collab 💙
Synopsis: A cruel joke, is what it is, when your mother introduced the man of your dreams as your future stepfather.
WC: 4.1k
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The pitter-patter of raindrops against the transparent umbrella shielded you from the cold shower that abruptly came down on what was supposed to be a fine Friday afternoon. It was ten minutes before the evening hour, countless people getting ready for supper or to head home after a long day at work. You were quite sure they were already there, waiting patiently for your arrival. Cursing at the traffic that came along with the sweet taste of freedom from desk work and whatnot, you hurriedly maneuvered through crowds to reach your destination.
First impressions were always important and the last thing you wanted was for your mother to worry.
Heels clicking at every step you took, a breath of relief slipped past your lips at the sight of the restaurant your mother said was where you'd meet her and your soon-to-be stepfather. Slightly excited to see who the lucky man your mother has taken a shine to after five years of staying single. Finally, she had wiped away the nasty aftertaste of the failed marriage she had with your alcoholic dad, moving on with someone who would treat her better. Hearing all the nice things her new boyfriend had done, how he was not like other men she had dated in the past—how handsome, young, and kind he is, a gentleman through and through. Even when his occupation was questionable. It had your hopes up, truly. For she deserved someone to love again after years of neglect and heartache. And when he popped the question of marriage, she was quick to agree, leading you to this moment.
You were happy for her; you should be. Should be brimming with joy, despite their relationship going too fast for your liking. Should be beaming brightly at the engaged couple when you enter the establishment, glad to be out of the rain, and to meet the man of her dreams. Giving the usherette your dripping umbrella and coat, you hurriedly accompanied the woman to where your mother and her fiancé should be. The brisk steps you took slowly faltered into mere hesitant ones before halting to a stop upon seeing the man sitting across her. Skin seeking for warmth gone rigidly cold at the dread licking up the edges of your spine and tickling your stomach that seemed to house something heavier than the horror dawning on your facial expression at the sight of him—Ran Haitani.
“Oh! She’s here—Ran, this is my daughter, [Y/N].”
Amethyst eyes locked onto you in shock, mirroring yours that were immediately averting away. If the floor mimicked the rough seas and its gigantic waves, you wished they would swallow you up upon meeting eye to eye with the man you slept carelessly with two months ago. Ears deaf to your mother’s urge for you to take the empty seat and have dinner with them. Even as you sat yourself down, your head refused to move an inch, gaze trained on the empty porcelain plate that was far more pristine than how you felt internally.
What’s happening? Is this a dream? Did I happen to miss the bus and fell asleep on my desk? Somebody fucking wake me up!
“Dear, what’s wrong?”
Making the mistake of meeting your mother’s worried eyes, you soon found yourself seeking after Ran’s. Those mystic violet hues that seemed to engulf you too easily, having bore witness to your vulnerability that night after many drinks and harmless flirting. The exact same violet irises that shrunk to a thin ring, pupils dark and dilated at the way you writhe underneath him—moaning his name you came to know of after giving into the temptation of kissing him goodnight that obviously morphed into more. Those limpid eyes of his that easily crumbled your walls and pinned you down. Fingertips still familiar with those purple locks so smooth to the touch, fisting the silky strands while pushing his head close to your aching damp pussy folds and clit quivering under his skillful tongue. The baritone voice that whispered dirty promises into your heating ears, biting the lobe while splitting you with his thick cock. Palms no stranger to each other’s searing touches and sweat sheened flesh, sinfully in tune with one another. Even as you closed your eyes, hoping to block the images sprouting like daisies on concrete sidewalks, it continued to plague you.
“Baby, ‘s good to me—you and this pretty pussy of yours. Moan for me, darlin’. Don’t be shy.”
“R-Ran, fuck… More!”
Remembering that night where he fucked you enough to have you wobbling out of the hotel room the next day to escape before he woke up was a bad idea, especially with your mom next to you. Sickening, it was, to sit there in silence. Throat dry despite swallowing so many words and questions you wanted to throw. Her manicured fingers intertwined with his, lashes fluttering like butterfly wings, all smiles—screaming that she is in love. Head over heels for him enough to ignore what he does for a living.
Fuck, your mother is in love with Ran Haitani.
“I-I’m fine.”
You were at a loss for words, even when your mother excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving you and Ran alone. A ticking bomb was what your mind was, close to imploding on the spot when he shot you a faint smirk. The bastard had the nerve to even smile despite the hazardous situation you both were in. Was he really this shameless?
“How are you?” he began, nimble fingers playing with his fork. Your eyes caught his Adam's apple bobbing—reminiscing how you were biting and licking the sensitive skin of his neck while he was fingering your soaked pussy. You knew he was a dangerous man, from the way he carried himself to his last name—Ran is a mafia boss. One of the top dogs of Roppongi along with his brother. Anyone who knew about the Haitanis all spoke of the same thing. They were criminals, famous ones at that, but harder to catch and pin blame on due to their endless connections. Meeting him at that luxurious bar you treated yourself to that night was a work of fate, telling yourself that this was a one-time thing. That you will never see Ran Haitani again.
Yet, here he is.
Two months may have passed since then, but that was, unfortunately, the best night of your life whether you wanted to admit it or not. Ran Haitani was the only man who gave you such an experience to remember. It’s too bad that the man you wanted to see again was now your mother’s fiancé. It was even a harder pill to swallow that during the days where your thoughts were filled with him, he was out there wooing your mother.
Squeezing your thighs together, you remained silent on your seat. Ran must've figured you would, leaning back on his seat with a sigh. “Never thought I’d see the woman I’ve been searching for to be sitting across from me as my date’s daughter tonight. Crazy, right?”
“I don’t know you—”
“Oh, yes you do, sweetheart. You do.” If Ran Haitani was charming enough to seduce you to bed, he could be annoying when he wanted. You never thought he’d be shameless enough to feign sadness at your cold exterior, barely acknowledging him. “I never forget a face. I looked for you everywhere, you know? You were quite difficult to find for someone so… ordinary. How’d you do it?”
“You were finding me? For what? So you could relive that night we spent again?” Irritation bubbled up to your form, fisting the hem of your pencil skirt, lips in a grim line. “That is no longer possible. And even if it is, you decide to date and be engaged to my mother. Why?”
Why so soon? Why her?
Why not me?
“I… didn’t know she’s your mother. You both have different last names. The resemblance isn’t there as well.” Ran sighed after attempting to laugh, hands crossed on his chest while regarding your forlorn state. He knew you wouldn’t be overjoyed at the current situation despite him vocalizing about being on the hunt for you. Yet, behind the clipped smile he had worn, it didn’t do justice to the heart beating erratically in his chest out of excitement and joy that he finally found you—the pretty woman who walked out too soon for him to ask for your number. Regret of ceasing his efforts weighted over his shoulders, quick to look for the same rush he felt with you from another. And even when he met your mother, an equally amazing woman, she wasn’t you. “Don’t be angry at me, love. If I knew, I would’ve stopped immediately—”
“No.” Tone coming out harsh, you glared at him, hoping he’d be taken aback. But Ran Haitani was good with his emotions, wrapping it all under layers upon layers. The impassive expression he wore served only to infuriate you further. “She’s happy—I don’t wanna take that away from her. Just forget about me, about us. There was hardly anything to remember anyway, so that should be easy for you, right? Good day.”
No, it wasn’t. Ran should be cursing the universe for cheating on him. What was he to do at the newfound information that he was engaged to the mother of the woman of his dreams? This was a cruel joke. And yet, it was also good to him—giving him the chance to visit your apartment under the reason that your mother was worried that she upset you, hoping that you’ll listen to Ran Haitani after ignoring her calls when you walked out of the restaurant. Yes, cosmos was good to Ran, carving him lucky stars across the skies when you pulled the door open. Blessing him with brute strength to push it open when you denied him, yelling at him to leave or you’d call the cops. He found it quite funny how you basically were putty in his hands the moment he held you.
You cursed his name for the longest time, but they were all silenced due to his illicit touches. Hated Ran Haitani for being good with his mouth now swallowing your whimpers, hands clawing and pawing on his dress shirt. The blue shorts and white tee you wore met the floor; tits pressed against his now bare chest. Lips chasing after one another like it was the first time again. Fingers seeking your clenching walls, slick coating his digits akin to sweet honey in texture and taste on his tongue.
“D-don’t—we should stop.” You muttered on his parted lips; eyes glossy. Dirty, that was how it felt to kiss your mother’s fiancé and to be on the receiving end of those lavender hues so intensely drinking your crumbling resolve. Why is he doing this? Looking at you with such love and passion in those violet eyes that were supposed to be direct at your mother, not you. It’s almost as if… he loves you. “Stop this before we make even more mistakes. You should go, Ran. Go or we’ll become even bigger fools.”
“Everyone is a fool in the game of love, baby.” Cupping your cheeks softly now damp due to fallen tears, he kisses your lips again. Who could deny such a man? No, he wasn’t any ordinary man to you—he’s the man of your dreams, the one you should be with. The person who sets your skin on fire with a single caress, the one who made your soul sang the tune of ecstasy, Ran Haitani. “We just have to be the winners.”
“I want you, [Y/N].”
“I’ve never had sex with her. We barely got past kissing, and for that, I’m glad we didn’t.” It shouldn’t have made relief flood your veins, disgusted at yourself. Swallowing your faint sobs, Ran pulled back to press more kisses onto your face to placate you, rubbing the pad of his thumb on the apple of your cheek. “It makes so much sense how I was attracted to your mother momentarily… Because she was related to you. Can’t you see? I want you, pretty baby. Not your mother, not any other fucking woman—you. Why do you think I’m here to make it all right again?”
Who were you in the face of temptation and at the offer of euphoric bliss enough to blind all rationality? Nothing. A mere human is what you are. And like any other human, you give in to that poison embodied by the older Haitani. Ran’s whispers of apology and wishes he looked harder for you against your ear didn’t match his hips thrusting rapidly onto yours, cock drilling into your aching hole squelching and welcoming for him. Singing praises similar to a holy mantra of your body moving perfectly along his inked one. And as he marred your pristine flesh with evident traces of him, you did the same to his back and forearms. Remorse non-existent as he came inside you, bent on claiming you for himself.
Ran knew the moment he pulled out; it wasn’t going to be an easy night nor any other nights to come if he were to continue this secret meeting. And he was right. Guilty tears met his tattooed chest, you sobbing softly as he held you close after the bubble of lust burst. You did it, you really did sleep with your mother’s fiancé. A dark cloud loomed above your head for the rest of the evening, never leaving his strong arms, afraid that the second you do, judgment shall come knocking on your apartment door with the face of your mother’s disappointment. But it didn’t stop the selfish voice in you, uttering for him to stay here until the sudden downpour outside halted. For him to leave in the morning under the condition that this will be the last time and that you’ll keep your silence.
“Let’s just keep this… whatever this is between us as what it is—a one-night stand. Don’t see me ever again.”
Stupid of you really to think Ran Haitani wasn’t a stubborn man.
And so, it happened again. The third time he slept with you was unplanned. While your mother was out to buy the missing ingredients for the dinner she wanted to make for the two people she loved dearly, Ran was quick to capture your lips. Fucking you silly against the kitchen counter, careful not to spill or break anything in the process. Your moans and whimpers for him to keep going echoed around the room. The fourth time was in his car—hours before meeting your mother who was busy planning the wedding alone. Ran did say she could do whatever she wanted, offering to pay everything when all he wanted was for her not to bother him while he was out with you. Blissfully unaware that while she was picking the gown she would wear, the groom had you bent on his office’s desk. Cock buried deep in your weeping cunt that was squeezing him dry. Sometimes he’d even eat you out on the couch of your mother’s living room, ears keenly listening if the shower stopped rushing or placing fingers in your mouth to silence your moans. Addicted to your taste and the way your cunt was wet for him. Or he’ll have you on your knees by the garden, fisting your hair while thrusting his cock into your drooling mouth, gurgling at the length and its tip bruising the back of your throat. Anything to have you, there was nothing Ran Haitani wouldn’t do.
And this went on over, and over, and over again.
What a poor trusting bride, thinking her soon-to-be husband was out managing his illegal activities in secrecy, keeping her away from such a dangerous life when in reality, he was committing an even bigger sin by fucking her daughter. Comedic it indeed was. While your mother was ignorant towards Ran’s actions, you met Rindou and the rest of your lover’s friends. He introduced you as his lover, his future wife. Eating dinner and sharing stories, hand in hand when leaving the establishments you frequented. Dressing you up in Chanel, Balenciaga, or Vivienne Westwood to your dates, having his men pick you up on his luxury cars after work. Out in the streets, Ran was your boyfriend. And you, consumed and tainted by the idea of Ran Haitani, let it all happen.
“To think you wanna keep me from this slutty pussy of yours,” he hissed at the tight walls constricting his veiny shaft, tongue between his lips. “What was that you said last time? That I should never see you again? Seems like this cunt doesn’t want that.”
“R-Ran, more—ah, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Back arching from the leather seat of his tinted Mercedes-Benz, you hastily pulled him down by the nape for a kiss, to which Ran gave willingly. Addicting it was to see you underneath him, keening and whining for him. Nothing was more exhilarating than to have your legs around his waist, railing you in his car where anyone who could chance upon you two can see. He loves it, consumed by the images of you spread apart for him. Love how he could easily have you come undone. Love to fuck you dumb. But out of everything he loves, it was cumming deep inside you. Painting your warm gummy walls with his semen despite the chances of him knocking you up. Either way, he’d like that very much.
“You may kiss the bride.”
Filthy. You cringed at the feeling of his milky semen running down your thigh while standing on the sidelines, wishing you could just go home and forget about the wedding ceremony. The smiles and laughter that filled the room, congratulations flooding the newlywed couple. But you knew it was all fake, at least to you and Ran. Even the younger Haitani failed to show up, or perhaps, didn’t want to part take in such a sham of a marriage. After all, it was your choice for him to continue this charade. Said that you couldn’t bear to see your mother hurting again because you fell in love with her fiancé—ah, correction, your stepfather.
Ran Haitani is your stepfather now, yet he played the role of your secret lover better than your mother’s new husband.
“N-no, you should go back—R-Ran!” Biting back a whine due to his mouth leaving open-mouthed kisses on your neck, his tie discarded on the carpet. Three rooms to the right was the hotel room where your mother was, blackout drunk after downing more glasses of champagne and wine from the after-party. Ran took this opportunity to sneak out of the first day of his honeymoon to be with you, peeling off the Versace dress he bought you. He folded you in half, ankles in the air and brushing his broad shoulders while he rammed his cock into your fluttering drenched walls. “You should be there—f-fuck, Ran! More…”
“Baby, I wish it was you. I wish it was you whom I married today—shit, I want you ‘s bad. Let me have this, please?” He grunted, panting above you. Lavender irises never leaving your fucked out expression while he stuffed you load after load until he was satisfied and ready to go back out there to play the character of a sweet husband. “Let me fuck a baby into you. Shit, you’d be a good mom. Gonna give me a lot of babies, yeah? Gonna make lots and lots of kids.” Mewling at his words, you came for the fifth time that evening. Bones melting and pliant under his fingers, dancing to the tune of his forbidden love.
Guilt was no longer plaguing you as you lay in bed, weeks after his honeymoon, Ran went straight to you. Leaving your clueless mother in their shared home that was more of a mousetrap than somewhere he’d sleep in. Still, your mother never suspected him of cheating or slipping pills into her wine glass to knock her out before she could suggest anything sexual. Ran was determined to keep you happy. The reward for his loyalty to you came days after that, finding out you were pregnant with his child was the happiest you’ve seen him, showering you with more of his love. However, it was also the day you were dreading to welcome.
But it would be alright, yeah? As long as your mother didn’t find out, you both will be fine… Right?
Oh, but your mother did. There’s only a handful of skeletons you could fit in a wardrobe close to bursting, so when a finger poked out through the cracks, your mother was quick to put two and two together. Her suspicions about your pregnancy were inevitably confirmed by answering your doctor who called in for another check-up weeks later and judging by how eerily silent she greeted you, she was not happy.
She was fucking livid.
“Mom, please—”
“Is this how I raised you? Do you know how embarrassing this is? Who is the father? Don’t tell me you don’t fucking know who it is!” Closing the distance between you two, her palm collided with your cheek. The sting on your skin is the mere evidence of such an action. “I expected more from you. Are you going to let some bastard knock you up and become like me? Is that it? Have an idiot fool you and then leave? Answer me!”
None. No words could form on your mouth, parting and closing, voice silent. Because how does one say you were pregnant with your stepfather’s child?
“Mom, I-I can explain! Just please, listen—”
Everything all happened in a blink of an eye. Her hand grabbed you by the hair, shaking and screaming at you to respond. You, crying and sobbing for her to stop, falling to the floor when she pushed you. The hand gripping your hair, pulling harshly to inflict pain out of unrestrained rage abruptly loosening ‘til it disappeared completely. The next thing you knew, another resounding slap echoed around the house, but it wasn’t afflicted on you. Your mother whimpering pulled your gaze from the ground to stare up at her glossy eyes wide at her husband.
“How dare you touch what's mine, you fuckin’ filth? Do you know how long I’ve endured staying with you and this is what you do—hurting her?”
Ran’s sudden arrival threw you both off. Your mother stared at him in shock and confusion, while you remained there lying on the floor. Tears streamed down your face and hit the marbled tiles. This was it. There was no other way around this situation. In the end, no matter how much you try to hide or meet in secret, your mother was bound to sorrow. Bound to be betrayed by her husband. Ran knew this, too, sighing when your mother wouldn’t stop screaming at him to explain. Ran’s confession came after the click of his tongue, men under his tutelage came running in and restraining his would-be ex-wife now thrashing around. Deaf to the cries of your mother, begging for Ran to explain as to why he cheated on her. Why you, out of all people?
Indeed, why you?
“You disgust me—all of you! You fuckin’ bastard!”
“Why can’t you just turn a blind on this, huh? You did the same for my occupation. Can’t spare more of that ignorance towards my love for your daughter?” And to silence her further, Ran shot her point-blank on the chest, the gun he had on his holster now warm in his hand, eliciting a silent scream from you. A single shot that ended it all. How easily he killed someone... Cocking his head at the dead woman bleeding on the pristine tiles, the older Haitani gestured for his men to clean up the mess. Turning to you, he was quick to change his cold demeanor. “Baby, are you okay? Don’t worry, the bitch won’t come back.”
“Aren’t you happy?”
“My love, my sweet pretty baby… we can be together now!” Ran chuckled, grinning ear to ear. The picture was too hard to comprehend when your mother’s blood stained his suit, hands and even had speckles on his face. Yet, that didn’t bother him at all when he pulled you up to embrace tightly. Heart hammering in his chest, not out of fear or relief, but out of pure undiluted glee. “Now that nothing is keepin' us apart, we can finally get married. Let’s pick out the rings right now, yeah?”
Torn between smiling or crying your heart and soul out, you stood there frozen. Watching the men carry your mother’s lifeless frame out the door under the commands of Ran Haitani, the man out of twisted nightmares guise under a sweet dream. Yes, Ran Haitani, the only man who’d welcome all the karma the universe is about to rain down on you both. Would follow you to the ends until the depths of hell, all for you. Certainly, no other man would do…
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