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#fuck Sirius because obviously
padfootswhiskers · 2 months
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The line that always gets me most after Sirius's death:
For a long time, neither of them spoke. Somewhere far beyond the office walls, Harry could hear the sound of voices, students heading down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast, perhaps. It seemed impossible that there could be people in the world who still desired food, who laughed, who neither knew nor cared that Sirius Black was gone for ever.
I felt that last line right down to my bones.
oh god yes. are you me? this line has had such an effect on me ever since I read it for the first time as a twelve year old, I’ve probably even included the sentiment in MY fics. it’s just. it’s just so devastating. no one cares that he was innocent. no one cares that he died!
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hiddenmoonbeam · 2 months
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also this started because i was telling cat about an actual fic idea with sirius as snow white who ends up with the lupins in their cottage but cat rightfully felt the dwarves were missing from my story
love fandom and the endless multiverse possibilities <3
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quynhorlose · 1 year
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ten lines, ten people
thanks for the tag @mayzarbewithyou :)
rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. if you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.
in the fires of our youth (oh brother of mine)
It was a shock to fans when alternative pop duo Padfoot & Prongs announced their hiatus in the December of 2021, shortly after the conclusion of their first headlining tour across venues in Europe.
my love to keep me warm
“It’s fine, Sirius.”
the hairpin turn [wip]
“Speed,” Sirius says, dropping his voice into a gravelly rasp. “I am speed.”
grow as we go [wip]
When Sirius Black was around six or seven, he fell out of a tree and into a blackberry bush.
should we just keep driving? [wip]
Fuck Delta airlines.
lichtenberg figures [wip]
Falling in love with Remus Lupin is something akin to being struck by lightning.
seismology of the soul [wip]
On the sunny spring afternoon of May 22nd, 1960, two events occurred in tandem.
any way the wind blows [wip]
Sirius had almost forgotten what the light felt like, by the time he reached the surface.
can you take this weight of mine? [wip]
It starts when his parents die—or maybe it started when he was born, or when his parents were born or when their parents were born or when their parents were born or when some far-off great-great something was born, or when the earth flooded or when Cain killed Abel or when God spit into the dirt and made Adam. Maybe it started then.
the last hot day in summer [wip]
The air is hot and humid and fucking miserable in Ohio—but then, James thinks, isn’t that the point of Ohio?
tagging: @icemankazansky @livesincerely @sayosdreams @ryder-the-writer @r0siesposies @mayescapade (again) and anyone else who wants to do it!
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witchgaunt · 10 months
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Time Travel Verse, except Irascibel is sent forward in time to 1975 to change the future, but she only sees glimpses of the future that she has to change. She's distraught about having lost her friends and her girlfriend, whom she intended to one day marry, and asks that whatever it was that sent her back show her what she needs to do. Long story short, she manages to change the future of Bellatrix Lestrange because they fall in love with each other and Bellatrix does not become a Deatheater. In turn, Sirius does not die, nor do the Longbottoms.
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ellecdc · 9 days
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James and Sirius and Remus and Lily and *takes a dramatic breath* you?
this one's for you @enamoredwithbella, thanks for sorting this idea out with me @unstablereader
poly!Marauders + Lily x shy!reader who is so smitten with them
CW: fem!reader, reader has hair long enough to be played with, reader is in Hufflepuff, swearing, consent because it's sexy AF
This was obviously a bad idea.
You’re not even sure how your friends managed to convince you to attend the Gryffindor party, but you swore to every deity it would never happen again.
There were too many people (most of whom you’d never spoken to before), it was too loud (songs you didn’t particularly care for), and the fifteenth time someone bumped into you nearly sent you over the edge.
“Whoa there, sweetheart.” A low voice commented as an arm quickly righted you from your nearly horizontal position. “Y’alright?”
You looked up to see the face of none other than Gryffindor quidditch captain James Potter beaming down at you.
You were ashamed of yourself for the way that smile made you feel.
“Erm, yup! Thanks.” You squeaked, quickly freeing yourself from James’ grasp so fast that you nearly knocked someone else over in your attempt at creating distance between you and the Headboy.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like James. On the contrary; you were rather smitten with him.
Him and his partners - which was nothing short of dense in simple terms.
But you couldn’t help the way you blushed when he held the doors open for you as you walked into classes, or the friendly smile and wave he’d shoot at you when he saw you on Prefect rounds. 
You sort of wished he’d stop being so bloody nice to you; maybe then you’d be able to get over this crush that was never going to amount to anything.
But James was taken; three times over. 
And what a sodding group they were.
Heart Throb of Hogwarts™ Sirius Black in his effortless style, his devil may care attitude, and his insatiable flirting. Being noticed by Sirius felt like your favourite rockstar singing a song written just for you. 
And don’t even get you started on the enigma that is Remus Lupin; the Cassanova of Gryffindor tower. Everyone in your year (and likely the years below you) had at some point or another crushed hard on the quiet Marauder; but it really couldn’t be helped. He was tall, he was handsome, he was kind, and though he was far more quiet than his counterparts, the quips he shared with you never ceased to reduce you to a fit of laughter.
And gods, was Lily Evans ever beautiful. She was the total package; she was funny, outgoing, smart, and stunning. Looking at her even now with her long auburn hair as she threw her head back in laughter; so open and care free in her actions. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be her or being underneath-
No.
No. That was not a nice thing to think about someone who was in a committed relationship.
You let out a sigh as you zoned back into the fact that James still had one of his hands on your elbow and was smiling curiously at you. 
“Thanks for the save! I really owe you one.” You chuckled awkwardly and nearly took out one of the Prewett twins in your haste to leave Potter’s vicinity. 
Unfortunately, trouble seemed to be following you.
And by trouble, you meant Sirius Black.
“Damn, Hufflepuff!” He cheered as he moved a sultry gaze up and down your body appreciatively. “Give us a spin, dollface.”
You felt all the blood in your body migrate to your cheeks as you fought to keep your mouth from falling open.
Lily, the beautiful angel (or the evil temptress, depending on how you looked at it), swatted at Sirius from her perch on the arm of the chair her boyfriend was currently occupying.
“Down boy; you’re going to scare her away.” She teased with a smirk as she winked at you. 
You felt momentarily grateful for her.
And then she spoke again.
“Then none of us will get to look at her.”
Fucking Helga, was it hot in here? They needed to open more windows; preferably one you could launch yourself out of right now, thank you very much. 
“That’d be such a shame, really. Sorry doll, you don’t gotta spin - no one else here deserves to appreciate such a view.”
“Okay.” You squeaked and turned in search of your friends.
You know what? Fuck your friends; you were leaving with or without them. 
They weren’t….flirting with you, were they?
Surely not.
Of course not.
What a ridiculous thing to think.
But…it certainly felt like they were flirting with you.
Maybe one more glance?
Just as you were about to approach the portrait hole, you turned for one more look at the objects of your affection and your current tormentors and - yup, sure enough - Sirius, Lily, and now James were all standing there smiling at you.
They were watching you leave?!
Okay time to go, that is enough nonsense for one day. 
You spun and collided with something tall and solid which thankfully caught your arms as you all but ricocheted off of them.
“Hey there, dove. Where’re you headed in such a hurry?”
Please for the love of gods, don’t tell me…
But of course, you looked up to see the face of one Remus Fucking Lupin smirking down at you. 
“You lot are everywhere.” You whispered in awe. The bastard only chuckled in response.
“Come on you guys! We’re going to start a game of truth or dare!” Lily called over to…you (?) and Remus.
“Well, we wouldn’t want to miss that, would we?” Remus murmured lowly into your ear as he steered you towards the growing circle congregating around the various chairs and sofas littering the common room.
And listen, you’re not particularly proud that you were so placid in Remus’ man handling you.
But in your defence…
In your defence, Remus was man handling you. 
And to your absolute horror, he plopped you down beside Lily on a large chair that was not quite large enough for two people. 
You tried to swallow your heart back down which was attempting to escape via your mouth as you became hyper focused on the fact that Lily sodding Evans was pushed up against you none too casually and- Merlin’s tits, was she playing with your hair!? 
You pretended to pay attention as a few rounds passed by; your friend being dared to give you a lap dance being the most brazen thing to have taken place.
Until it got to the Marauders.
Marlene dared Sirius to strip down to his boxers for a whole round which he was all but too eager to do, apparently. Meaning he got to ask the next person.
“Moony!” 
Remus smiled down at his lap before he looked over at one of his boyfriend’s mischievously. 
“I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl here.”
You’re not necessarily proud of the way your heart plummeted at that; this is what you had been telling yourself all night. They were taken.
No matter if they complimented you.
No matter if they caught you as you fell. 
No matter if they snuggled up to you on a chair designed for one.
No matter if one of them made you feel like you leaving the party early would have been truly devastating.
No matter.
“That’s impossible; there’s two of them.” Remus said quickly, causing your heart to ache for Lily.
Who even says that when their girlfriend is sitting right here!?
You kept your head down as the party all ooooh’ed and aawwwweee’d.
James let out a funny high pitched laugh as if he were an over excited kid on Christmas morning. “Guess you’ll have to kiss them both then.” 
You really should have left when you had the chance; you weren’t sure you could watch.
It was their business if they wanted to include another, but that didn’t mean you had to like it.
“Or they can kiss each other; I think I’d enjoy that just as much.” 
“Sounds good to me.” Lily said as she stood; the space she once inhabited felt cold and vacant without her.
“Well? Come on then?” She said as she grabbed your arm.
“What?”
“Come with me.” She said again, wiggling your arm within your grasp, and who were you to deny her, really?
Like a well trained dog you followed her obediently over to where Remus sat before she all but shoved you into his lap.
“You seem like the fidgety type; maybe Rem can help with that, hm?” She said as she shot a wink at Remus over your shoulder.
His arms wrapped possessively around your waist as he rested his chin on the junction between your neck and shoulder.
“Is it okay if she kisses you, pretty girl?”
You had no time to be absolutely horrified at the pathetic little keening sound that escaped your lips as you looked up at the red-head now towering over you.
“What do you say, gorgeous?” And though her emerald eyes did shine with some mischief, you could see she was earnest; this was your choice.
“Okay.” You whispered barely loud enough for you to hear yourself over the hammering of your heart.
“Yeah?” She whispered as she knelt in front of you.
“Yeah.” You agreed.
And you only got to see the soft, hopeful smile that adorned her lips for but a moment before her hands were on either side of your face and she was pressing her soft lips to yours. 
It could have been hours or centuries but it was also all too soon before she was pulling away from you; a proud smile on her lips though her cheeks were a similar colour to her hair.
You became aware of the hooting and hollering going on around you as Remus’ chest began to vibrate in laughter.
“Beautiful.” He murmured - likely more to himself than to you, but you heard it all the same.
“Do I get a turn?!” James shouted before Sirius roughly grabbed him by the waist and planted him down on his lap.
“Not before me, Jamie.” He snickered as he shot you a wink. 
The audacity of a man to still be so confident sitting in nothing but his boxers. 
You tried to hide behind your hands though it was all for naught as Remus made a theatrical cooing sound and pulled you further into his lap until you were all but cradled in his arms.
“Maybe without an audience next time, hm?” He asked you as he brushed some hairs away from your forehead.
Not trusting yourself to speak (or to even make direct eye contact with the bloke currently cuddling you in your lap), you nodded with your face still hidden.
“Way to go babe.” James said as Lily went to join the two boys on their loveseat. “You were so good, we’ll even get a next time!”
read about their first date here!
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moonstruckme · 6 months
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Hello! So, I was wondering if you could write poly!marauders with a reader with anemia (iron deficiency)? Where she usually doesn't take her pills bc she forgets or straight up just doesn't want to, so sometimes she'll stand up and will completely fall back onto where she was sitting bc she will black out for a few seconds or lose her balance?
Obviously, only do it if you wanna and feel like it!!! Thank you and have a terrific day <3
Sincerely, :]
Hi my lovely! Thanks for requesting <3
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 656 words
When Remus calls you for dinner, James races you to the kitchen, both of you shoving at each other and giggling like children as you pound down the stairs. He wins, of course (he loves you, but he’s not going to let you beat him just because of that), but when he turns around to gloat, you’ve faltered a couple of steps from the bottom. 
A glaze has come over your eyes, no less alarming for its familiarity, and James' heart stutters as you put out a hand, feeling for the handrail. 
“Babe?” James wishes his voice were a little less panicked, but for all he knows you could be about to keel over and fall down the stairs. 
You sit back on the step behind you, your hand slipping down the banister while you hold the other out in front of you as if to placate him. “I’m okay,” you say, though you don’t sound entirely certain yourself. “I just need a second.” 
“Oh, fuck,” Sirius says, coming around the corner. He pushes his hair out of his face. “Baby, again?”
“Sorry,” you mumble, blinking as though to clear a film from your eyes. In the kitchen, James hears Remus sigh, and knows he’s caught onto what’s happened as well. The tap turns on. 
You blink some more, your gaze clearing bit by bit until you’re able to focus on James and Sirius in front of you. You stand, too quickly for James’ liking, and he steps towards you, taking your forearm in one hand and using the other to support your lower back. 
“Take it easy, sweetheart,” he worries as you flounce dismissively down the remaining steps. 
“It’s fine,” you say breezily, “I’m fine. Just got dizzy for a second, sorry.” 
Sirius raises his eyebrows, arms crossing in front of him. They’re all familiar with this act. Anytime you black out like this, you pretend as if it’s a normal part of everyone’s day (or, if you can get away with it, as if it never happened at all) in an attempt to nullify your boyfriends’ worry. “You looked like you went blind,” he says. 
You appear a tiny bit sheepish at that, but it’s gone in a second. “It was a blip.” 
It’s clear you’re campaigning to move on and forget your near-fall and James’ near-cardiac arrest, but no sooner do you round the corner into the kitchen than Remus is standing in front of you. 
He holds your medicine in one hand and a glass of water in the other, and there’s no shortage of judgment in the quirk of his one eyebrow as he passes them to you. James feels for you; if Remus leveled a look like that at him, he might turn to ash on the spot. But you’re braver than he is, so you only flush, downing the pill with a sip of water. 
“Thanks,” you mumble, not quite looking at him. 
Remus hums, taking the glass from you and setting it on the counter. He curls a finger under your jaw and places his thumb on your chin, tilting your head up (Yup, James would be dead. Perished. Six feet under.) until you meet his eyes. 
“You set an alarm on your phone for a reason,” Remus says softly. “Start taking your medicine as soon as it goes off, understand? It’s dangerous when you don’t.” 
You nod mutely, and Remus bends, kissing the highest point of your cheek. 
“Alright, dove.” 
He leaves you there, looking somehow more dazed than when your vision had gone out a minute before, and starts bringing plates to the table. 
“Merlin,” Sirius breathes, he and James watching the scene from near the stairs. “He gets so scared when she doesn’t take them. She’s lucky he didn’t find some way to punish her for forgetting like that.” 
James scoffs, going to help Remus with setting the table. “I think that was her punishment.”
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modern au - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 348
(I'm taking modern to also mean nonmagic so...come for me).
"Fuck," Sirius whispered, peeking around the corner to the bar to see the man he'd been planning to meet off Hinge.
He was there alright. Wearing the purple shirt he'd promised. Only he looked nothing like his picture.
Well, that wasn't true. It was just...Gilderoy had clearly used an even more expensive version of Photoshop because he looked about ten years older in real life.
Not that looks were Sirius's main requirement. But the lying? No, thanks.
So he turned, trying to leave the restaurant quickly before his date could see. He was so intent on making a quick escape that he didn't even notice the man walking in the other direction until he'd walked into him, catching himself on the man's elbows.
He swore again. "Sorry, mate! Sorry, I-" But he cut off as he looked up into beautiful chocolate-brown eyes only slightly covered by light brown fringe. The face in front of him broke into an apologetic smile.
"Sorry," the man said softly, straightening Sirius up.
"No! No," Sirius stumbled over his words, eyes wide. Okay, maybe looks were important a little. At least enough to know that he wanted to talk to this man. "I-"
But at that moment a loud, booming voice cut across the room.
"Sirius, right? You're here for me, obviously!" Gilderoy had seen him. The self-involved look of joy on his face, like he was glad to grace Sirius with his presence, made Sirius's decision easy.
"Erm, no," he said, staring back into the other man's eyes. "I'm not."
"But you're Sirius aren't you? We've been talking on Hinge, and-"
"No!" he shook his head, still not tearing his eyes away. "I'm-"
"He's here with me," he other many interrupted, finally breaking eye contact to turn toward Gilderoy. "So stop hitting on my boyfriend, yeah?"
Gilderoy instantly deflated, murmuring an apology and skittering back into the bar room. But as he left, the other man turned to Sirius. "So I take it you're single? Maybe...want to go for a drink?"
Sirius had never agreed so fast in his life.
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roesworks · 2 months
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my marauder's sex headcannons
Tumblr media
james, sirius, and remus x female reader
WORD COUNT : 723
i wanna feed you guys (after literally a year) so enjoy my personal headcannons
james potter -
he is a certified switch. he leans more on the dominant side, but sometimes he just has a need to be told what to do.
when you're on top, without a doubt he is calling you mommy. not to mention, he will whine. he's always whining.
plus he will NEVER SHUT UP.
HE WILL ALWAYS PRAISE YOU.
"you're doing so good f'me, my love."
and he will never hit you or degrade you. he thinks that's just plain mean.
sex should be fun. he does it often so that he can skip out of doing cardio. killing two birds with one stone.
on the aspect of cardio, though, james can last a long time. he could go the entire night if he really wanted to.
"please just one more. one more, i promise."
he's a big guy, so you already KNOW that dick is at LEAST nine inches.
"it won't fit-" "-i'll make it fit."
HE LOVES THE STOMACH BULGE
fucking under the cloak.
while he doesn't like to hit you, he is most definitely leaving accidental bruises from gripping you so hard.
he'd rather grip your arm than the mattress. he loves feeling you.
he's probably the loudest moaner in the entire wizarding world.
he enjoys moaning your name so much that if you didn't cast a silencing charm then everyone in hogwarts would hear him.
he loves your boobs. whether they're big or small, he is most definitely sucking them and leaving them polka dotted by the end of the night.
and literally every night he's with you. sex or not. he's latching his lips onto your nipples and sucking the life out of them like they're lollipops.
he is without a doubt an experimentalist.
like whenever he finds a new position or just a new kinky idea, he's going to bring it up to you.
most of the time, you enjoy it. other times, it's just a one time thing.
he tells you he loves you all the time. it's all part of his 'never-shuts-up' persona.
sirius black -
dom. without a doubt.
"who's pussy is this?" "yours."
he likes making you cry. tears of pleasure are his favorite.
degradation is never out of the question.
and "my little slut."
while that is the case, he will, 'talk you through it' if you will.
"finish for me, baby."
100% getting off to you screaming his name.
he's definitely an ass guy. he likes groping it and hitting it whenever he gets the chance.
he's a little on the smaller side, but he definitely makes up for it in width.
he is very. VERY. loud.
he can last a SOLID three or four rounds.
ngl, he looooves bondage.
lets be real, he keeps a black rope in his nightstand.
he will most DEFINITELY tease you with his wand.
or he'll LITERALLY stick it up there.
honestly, he just likes to tease you in general.
pussy checks in public ALLLL THE TIME.
sometimes if you're wet enough, he will just do it with you on the spot.
"wet already, baby?"
he wants everyone to know that you're his, so he takes measures by leaving hickeys all over you, especially in noticeable places.
LOVES seeing you ride him.
he is 100% stealing james' cloak and doing it with you under it.
remus lupin -
a switch, but much more on the submissive side. so basically a sub.
he will literally get off on getting told what to do. and frankly he prefers being a pillow princess.
he definitely starts off quiet, like a whimper here and there,
and then as he gets more and more comfortable with you, (like around your third time) his whimpers become louder and louder.
he is a SOLID seven inches.
he will do some pretty kinky stuff with you.
like experimenting with candle wax. because he was curious, obviously.
and this guy has a huge thing for period sex. not that you mind it, it helps you forget about your cramps.
the rare times that he's on top, he is the sweetest ever.
"you feel so good."
you've done it in the library a few several times... in the restricted section. nobody has to know that, though.
he loves how you taste and will always tell you that.
your boobs are one of his most favorite things about you.
bite bite bite
and he loves touching you.
anywhere he can get his hands on you he will caress you.
he doesn't really last more than three rounds, but,
there were definitely days where he was so into it that he just couldn't stop.
he loves receiving pleasure and praise soso much.
he's just a sweet boy.
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weird-is-life · 2 months
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Don't deny it
Pairing: Rockstar!Sirius Black x fem!reader
Summary: Rockstar!Sirius keeps denying your relationship and you finally have enough
Warnings: angst, fluff, use of pet names, use of y/n, swear words, mentions of head injury, happy ending ofc
Words: 2.4k
You thought, that you've been just imagining it, but as you hear Sirius getting interviewed now, you know, you haven't.
Sirius has been keeping your relationship secret. Like everytime he got interviewed in the last few months, he played it like he was single. No mentions of a girlfriend, meaning no mentions of you.
Like you get it, that the band is really famous and that mentioning your name would kind of make your life a bit more difficult. With less privacy and everything.
But he doesn't have to say your name, he could just admit having a girlfriend. No need to go into details.
And you think, you've finally had enough when you hear him reply to the reporter's question.
"So my last question is for all of the fangirls, is Sirius Black taken?" the reporter chuckles as she asks it.
You hear Sirius laugh too," taken? No, I'm definitely not taken. Still very single, sadly."
You hear him laugh some more, before you turn the interview off. You feel like the dumbest fool.
Obviously, Sirius is too embarrassed of you to even admit he's dating anybody, there can't be any other reason.
And you've definitely had enough of it. Everytime he denies your relationship, you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest and stumped on.
You can't go on like this. You don't want to hurt like this anymore. You can't keep hoping that one day, he's going to admit having a girlfriend. You just can't, it pains you too much.
So with that, you decide to ignore Sirius, hoping he'll understand, that you don't want to see him ever again. You know, he shouldn't be home for at least 2 weeks, so hopefully by the time he comes home, you'll move on (too optimistic).
You stop responding to his texts, answering his phone and eventually, you even turn off your phone. You don't give him any explanation, you don't think he deserves one.
Sirius on the other hand is going crazy with worries just after a few hours of radio silence from you. He even calls your best friend to find out if you're okay. Apparently, you are, but you friend refuses to tell him anything more and just hangs up on him.
That doesn't ease his worries at all. He rakes his mind for an answer to what's he done? But nothing comes to his mind.
He tries to contact you again and again, but still, no response. You don't respond even when James or Remus try. So Sirius starts to loose his mind over you.
But he can't leave to go to you, no matter how much he wants to. The band is in the middle of finishing the new album, so he can't just bail on them. He tried it and got yelled by the management pretty badly. Threatening of getting let go by their label if he just leaves.
Sirius becomes completely useless at the studio and the band rehearsals, messing up everything, because his mind is stuck on you.
"Please sweetheart, pick up, please" Sirius whispers brokenly as he once again tries to call you.
You don't pick up and the phone call ends. Sirius throws his phone across the room from the frustration. He slumps onto a sofa and puts his head into his hands in defeat.
He sits there with tears freely running down his cheeks. It's a heartbreaking sight, seeing him so hopeless.
James and Remus find him like that and immediately know, that they have to push him to go see you.
"Go, " James tells him.
"What?" Sirius looks up confused, eyes red.
"Go after her," Remus adds encouragingly.
"But the label....I can't....they'll cut us off-"
"Doesn't matter, we'll just find some other label, there's plenty of them, that want us," James says, maybe a little smugly at the fact, that are are many labels that would kill to have The Marauders.
Sirius looks at them unsurely, "are you guys sure?"
James and Remus groan in frustration, "fucking hell, will you just get out of here, please?" James tells him.
Both Sirius and Remus chuckle, and Sirius quickly gets up. He comes up to the boys and hugs them tightly, squeezing them almost death, until they are pushing him away.
Sirius basically sprints out of the studio. He just grabs all the essentials and runs to the airport. One of the benefits of being famous is the private plane, which he happily uses on his way to you. He gets home in a record time.
The walk through the halls towards your apartment is very nerve-wracking. Sirius doesn't know what to expect, but he certainly doesn't expect all of his stuff, that he's left at your apartment to be sitting outside waiting for him.
"Shit," he curses under his breath and runs a trembling hand through his hair. He can't believe this is happening. He hopes it isn't. He hopes, it's just a nightmare, that he'll soon wake up from. He can't just loose you, he won't survive it, he's sure of that.
Sirius checks under the rug for the spare key and as expected, it isn't there. So Sirius just knocks.
No answer.
He tries again, because he knows you're inside, he can hear the shuffling of things.
"Y/N, please it's me, please open. I-I....can we please talk?" Sirius begs and begs, but you're too stubborn for your own good, you've always been like that, so you don't open.
He knocks and begs, until the neighbours are threatening to call the police on him. Sirius, defeated, sits down with his back to your door.
"Please, love, c-can we just talk?" his tired voice still doesn't break you, but Sirius doesn't give up, " okay, it's okay. I'll wait 'till, you're ready."
And he means it. He makes himself as comfortable as he can on the floor, intending to stay there however long it takes.
You, on the other hand, put on your headphones to ignore Sirius pleads and knocking. You just can't see him right now or anytime soon, your heart is too broken for that.
Even if one part of you wishes to see him and hug him, your body craves the comfort of him. But the rational part of you knows, that'd be too bad for you.
Sirius keeps hiding you and you keep hurting, you can't go on like this, not anymore.
You go to sleep, full of raw emotions, and even if sleep doesn't come easily, eventually you drift off.
In the morning, you wake up just as tired as you were, when you went to bed. And when you open your fridge, you realise, you don't even have anything to eat for breakfast.
You groan internally, you don't feel like going out of your apartment, like at all, but you have to, you can't go on without food.
You put on your most incognito clothes, hoping that you won't meet anyone you know, especially Sirius.
And as you open your door, they suddenly slam wide open, because of some weight pushing against it front the outside.
Said weight, you realise, is Sirius. You yelp in shock, when you see him and look at him bewildered.
Sirius wakes up with a groan. He wasn't thinking of you opening the door, when he first leaned against it. Now he kind of regrets it, as his entire head hurts from hitting it on the floor.
"What the fuck, Sirius?" you whisper yell, you would yell loudly, if it wasn't so early in the morning.
Sirius, upon realising that he can finally see you, stands up quickly. That isn't the best idea though, because his head starts to spin.
"Sweetheart, i-"
"Don't sweetheart me, Sirius. What the hell are you doing here? Have you been here since yesterday?" you question, angrily. You notice, that Sirius looks just as bad as you. Huge eye bags under his eyes, hair dishevelled like crazy.
"Yeah, I told, I'd wait until you were ready to talk," he just replies, giving you a small, hesitant smile.
You don't know, what to say. Your head is full of emotions and you can't decide, which ones are right and which ones aren't.
While you are thinking of what to say to him and glaring at him at the same time, Sirius head starts to spin badly.
"I think, I'm going to pass out," Sirius quickly tells you as he almost tumbles on the ground.
You, without thinking, catch him by the arms.
"W-what's wrong?" you ask a little scared. You find Sirius at your door and suddenly, he's passing out?
"I hit my head..." he mumbles out and hisses as he touches the back of his head.
You sigh, "fuck, okay, c'mon." You help him to your couch and swiftly go to retrieve some ice pack for his head and some water.
You put the ice pack at the back of his head and Sirius winces some more. "Sorry," you whisper.
"It's okay-....I- thank you, sweetheart." Sirius calls you 'sweetheart' again and you want to slap yourself for feeling the butterflies.
You quickly go to the kitchen, so he doesn't see the redness at your cheeks. "Shit," you whisper to yourself, "what am I going to do?"
You've wanted to stay away from Sirius as far away as possible and now he is in your apartment? You don't know if you want to run away, punch him in the face or kiss him stupid.
You stay as long as you can in the kitchen, basically just hiding away from Sirius and you complete forgot about your intention of going to the shop.
Sirius is unusually quiet, so after a longer while you gather all the courage you can to face him, only to find him fast asleep.
You sigh at the sight of his peaceful, asleep face, you quickly throw a blanket over him (before you can think it through) and head out to actually get something to eat, 'cause you're starving.
When you come back, Sirius wakes up at your arrival.
"H-hi, "he says with a groggy, sleepy voice. He smiles at you like nothing has happened, like everything is normal and it makes you suddenly so so angry.
You drop your grocery bags on the ground and quietly, but sternly ask, "you are embarrassed of me, that's why, right?"
Sirius is quickly woken up from his half asleep state by your mad voice and baffles," e-embarrassed? What? Of course, I'm not."
"Yes, you are," you say exasperatedly, you can feel, that your eyes are filling with tears, " you are!"
Sirius stands up slowly, but steadily and comes closer to you, not entirely close, he still wants to give you some space. "I could never be embarrassed of you, y/n, never."
"Then why?" you ask desperately as one tear rolls down your cheek, Sirius's hand itches to wipe it away.
"Why what? I don't understand," Sirius begs for explanation, while he rakes his mind for an answer to his question as well.
"Y-you keep pretending like I don't even exist, like you don't want me!" you try to suppress the little sob, that escapes your mouth. Sirius wants to fucking beat himself up for making you cry, even if he doesn't really know the reason why yet.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asks stupidly and you sob again.
"What? What? What? The fucking interviews Sirius, I mean them," you pretty much yell it to him, the frustration being too much for you.
Sirius finally understands and the realisation hits him like a crushing wave. He didn't know you were feeling this way about them," why didn't you say anything? I thought, you were okay with keeping our relationship private."
"Private yes, but not to the point you are literally chuckling and saying how incredibly single you are," you argue," that's just wrong. But if you want to be single so badly, i won't fight against it."
"No," Sirius blurts out instantly, " I don't want to be single."
"Then what do you want?" you sniffle.
"You. Just only you, nobody else," Sirius is trying to catch your gaze, but you refuse to look at him, "sweetheart, please look at me."
You hesitate, but eventually you look at him. You notice, that tears aren't only on your face.
"Have you been feeling like this for a long time?" Sirius questions and you nod, he curses under his breath.
"I'm so sorry, i didn't notice. Shit, I'm such an idiot, " he starts and without thinking he takes a few steps closer to you," I'm sorry, angel. If I knew, you were feeling this way, I would have never ever continued denying our relationship. Fuck, It was killing me to stay quiet about us, I wanted to tell them everything about you. Please believe me."
You stay quiet and your sobs slowly start to go away. Sirius waits for you to say something, anything really.
"N-not everything please," you whisper. You can't stay mad at your Sirius long, even if you'd really want to sometimes. It's just not possible to be angry with him, especially when he loves you so much.
"What was that?" Sirius doesn't catch it.
"Don't tell them everything about me please," you tell him as you, after a few days, smile. Truly smile.
Sirius takes it as a permission to finally touch you. He has you in his arms in a matter of seconds, squeezing you oh so tightly, while he laughs happily.
"Does this mean, t-that I am forgiven?" he asks you unsurely, as he reluctantly eases you out of his tight embrace.
"Maybe," you grin at him
"Maybe? What do I have to do to get a yes, huh lovely?" Sirius softly asks, he takes your cheeks into his hands and gently wipes the tears away.
"You could kiss me, you know," you say with a sheepish smile. You look too cute, cheeks red and puffy, for Sirius to say no to you. As if he would every deny you a kiss or anything else for that matter.
He instantly leans it and kisses you, it's soft and maybe a little desperate kiss, but it doesn't matter to you or him.
You let him kiss you as long as you manage without breathing, even if you know there're still things to talk about. You'll talk about it, just later, after you get enough kisses.
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remusluvr · 9 months
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all these things that i've done | remus lupin
summary: Remus is drunk, you're the first person he thinks of to call. content: drunk Remus, exes, throwing up (and reader tells Remus to throw up so he can get it out of his system), unedited
"(Y/N)," he draws out, voice high and sing-songy. He's honestly a little surprised you picked up his call. You're a little surprised that you picked up too. It's nearly two in the morning. Anyone in their right mind would have woken up, seen that their ex was calling, and put the phone right back down to go to sleep. You couldn't though not with the achy feeling that formed in your stomach after seeing the caller ID.
"Hi, Remus. Are you alright?" you ask, voice raspy from having been woken up. You hear James nearby calling for Remus and Remus brushing him off so he can find a quieter place to talk to you. "What's going on?"
"We went to a bar. It's the bar that we always used to go to," he breathes, background much quieter now. He must have gotten away. You don't really know what to say. "It made me think of you. James told me not to call."
"You're drunk, Remus," you grumbled, fingers pinching at the bridge of your nose. Of course, he's drunk. That's the only reason why he's calling. "Go back to James and Sirius. Are they trying to leave?"
"No. But I want to leave."
"Are you really calling me for a ride? What the fuck?"
"No, no, no, no, no. I mean, yes. I am calling for a ride but I miss you."
"Call an uber." With that, you hang up the phone. How dare he call you asking for a ride after you haven't spoken to each other in months. You lost half of your friends because of your breakup. Lily and Marlene are the only ones that still talk to you. Every once in a while, you'll get a text from James but nothing important.
And you would think with the way you're fuming at him for thinking he could just call you up and you'd come running, that when his name comes up on your phone again you wouldn't answer it. You do.
"I'm sorry for calling you. Please don't be mad at me," he whispered. You feel bad. He's obviously drunk with no way to get home. You don't want him to take an uber by himself and the bar isn't too far from your house.
"Wait outside, I'll be there in fifteen." He mumbles a thank you before you can hang up on him. You huff under your breath as you take the warm blankets off of you, getting up to locate a pair of pants, shoes, and your car keys.
He's like an excited puppy when you get there, jumping up immediately as you pull in front of where he's sitting with James. James doesn't look as drunk as Remus and you're grateful that one of them had the hindsight to be a little smart. Getting out of the car, Remus is on you, pulling you into a hug so he can rest his cheek on your head, mumbling out a, "Missed you so much."
You try to ignore the pull his words have on your heart but it's only been a few months since you broke up. You haven't exactly moved on from him.
"He drank a lot," James explains, "I tried to get him to call anyone else but he told me that he wanted you to come and get him."
You spin in Remus's hold so he's pressed against your back, face buried in your neck. You're trying to talk to James but you can't focus, not when he starts pressing kisses onto your skin like no time has passed between the two of you seeing each other.
"Don't worry, I'll get him home."
"Noooo, can I sleep on your couch? Please?" James looks at you with a look of pity. You brush it off, reaching back to run a hand through Remus's hair. You say bye to his friends, pulling him into the passenger seat of your car and handing him a water bottle that you had grabbed before you left. "You're so sweet."
You don't say anything, climbing into the driver's seat and starting in the direction of his house. He notices and is quick to whine about wanting to be with you. If it weren't so late maybe you'd have more energy to argue, but you don't so you just start in the direction of your apartment.
"I think about you all the time," he confesses. That's bold coming from the boy who locked you out of his life. He broke up with you so why does he think he has a right to say these things to you. You have to remind yourself that he's drunk so you don't slap him across the face. "I don't think I'll ever get over you, sweetheart."
"Rem, stop talking," you say through clenched teeth. He doesn't know what he's saying and he won't remember it in the morning. Tomorrow, he'll wake up and scurry out before you wake up so that he doesn't have to face you, you're sure of it.
"I never stopped loving you. Was just scared to let you in."
There are tears pricking at your eyes but you won't let yourself cry. You won't. Because if you do then Remus will just try to comfort you and you'll let yourself get your hopes up. You don't say anything the rest of the way home.
He throws up the minute he steps out of your car. You groan, throwing his arm over your shoulder so you can help him into the house and to a proper toilet.
"I'm sorry I called you. Just need you. I hate not having you around."
"We can talk in the morning. Pull the trig and throw up so we can both sleep."
You let him sleep on the floor by your bed after he complained about the couch. Anything to just have him shut up. You don't sleep much, not when you can hear him breathing so close to you. Everything he's said tonight keeps replaying in your head as you stare up at the ceiling. If he really means any of it, he'll be here in the morning and willing to talk to you. If not, you'll block him and finally let go.
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itsss4t4n · 2 months
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Safe with You - Regulus Black x potter! reader
a/n: THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT. (6558 words)
warnings: mention of abuse, smoking, hurt/comfort, kissing, background wolfstar and (barely mentioned) rosekiller
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You didnt remember a time where Regulus Black didnt hate you.
Being James Potters younger sibling, most of his friends were also yours, so when sirius started talking about how much he hates his family , including Regulus you didnt question it much, but you never really had anything against him personally.
But it didnt help that, from the beginning of yours and Regulus first year he was pretty much a dickhead. He made it a point to be better than everyone and to tell them so. 
That started a rivalry between the both of you. Battleing for top of the class. 
All of this only got worse when, in the middle of the winter holidays in your 5th year, Sirius appeared at your doorstep, bleeding and asking for help.
After that point Regulus made sure to show you how much he hated you even more.
You just assumed that he hated you because of your family. Blood-traitors. 
In the beginning of your 6th year you had started to sneak away onto the astronomy  tower a lot of nights. 
It was nice up here. Quiet. You found solitude from the stressful schoolday and your Brother and his friends. You loved them, of course. But it was a lot of pressure. Most people just saw you as James sibling. And they expected you to be like him. It was honestly really exhausting.
Your parents didnt help a lot either. As much as they said they loved you equally, you always felt like James and now Sirius were more important to them. You were just the perfect little sibling. You were quiet and you had good grades so they didnt need to worry much about you. You felt neglected. But you also understood them. James didnt try as much in school, concentraiting more on pranks than homework and Sirius obviously had a lot to deal with because of his past.
So you snuck away when everyone was sleeping. In your pyjamas and a jacket you quiely left the common room and went to he astronomy tower. 
When you arrived you didnt pay much attention to your surroundings and so you didnt notice the other person that was sitting against the outside wall of the tower. You had already pulled out the pack of cigarettes that you had nicked from Sirius a week prior and were beginning to light it when you stepped against the railing. 
Taking a drag and pulling the cigarette away from your mouth you finally heard shuffling behind you. You quickly turn your head, scared that you're gonna find a prefect, or worse, Filch behind you. But instead you see a boy sitting a few meters away from you, his back to the wall of the tower, his dark hair covering his face. 
"Sorry i didnt realize someone was here." 
He finally looks up at you and you finally see his face.
"Black? The fuck are you doing here?" Your voice is a mix of confusion and annoyance at he fact that your solitide was disturbed by him of all people.
"I could ask you he same thing Potter." His voice was quiet and annoyed. Like he didnt want to deal with this right now. He sounded exhausted.
And at a second glance he looked it too. He had dark bags under his eyes and if you looked closely you could see a bruise at the side of his face. You didnt remember seeing it earlier during potions class but maybe he had covered it with magic. 
You had the urge to comment on it but remembered all the things thatt sirius would tell you about his parents and you had a feeling it had something to do with that. And that was a topic that you were sure wouldnt end well.
So you settled on "You look like shit."
He didnt answer and only looked at you even more annoyed. 
Shrugging, you simply looked away from him and lifted your cigarette back to your lips.
Regulus didnt move from his spot, so you assumed that he didnt care much that you were there.
You didnt feel like standing any longer, so you sat against the same wall regulus was sat against, now only a meter between the two of you. afer a few seconds you held out the pack of cigarettes to him .
"want one?" 
He took one without a word and you handed him your lighter when he put it beween his lips.
After that the two of you sat in silence looking at the nightsky. After almost 30 minutes of sitting in silence, you slowly moved to stand up.
"Well... I better go to bed. goodnight Black." 
You had only taken a step or two when Regulus spoke up for the first time since you got there.
"If you tell anyone i was here, you're dead potter."
You turn to him with a small smile.
"I wont. If i did i would have to tell them that i was here."
With that you left, leaving regulus confused on why you wouldnt want anyone knowing you were there. He left shortly after you did.
That night started a routine of you going up to the tower to find regulus either already there or arriving a few minutes later. You would sit in silence together, smoking a cigarette or two, before leaving again. Neither of you ever talked much.
During the day both of you acted like you always did. Like you werent sitting next to each other in almost friendly silence a few hours prior.
You never told your brother or any of your friends about it.
At some point you had started to talk to him instead of just sitting in silence. Not much. And certainly not anything of sustance. Mostly just complaining about professors and homework. But he never complained about it. He never said anything to be honest. He just sat and listened in silence. This continued almost every night unil the winter holidays.
You were standing on platform 9 3/4 with your family and Sirius, saying goodbye to your parents when you noticed Sirius glaring at something past your head. Turning around you see Regulus and his parents. Regulus looked even more exhausted than usual and even from the distance you could see him tensing up as his father put his hand on Regulus shoulder.
Something had happened over the holydays, you could tell.
James voice ripped you out of your thoughts. "Hey what are you two staring at?"
"Nothing." 
You answer immediately, turning back around and hugging your parents one last time. 
"Come on or we'll miss the train." 
That night during dinner you kept catching yourself looking at Regulus. Each time you seemed to notice a new reason to worry.
First how tense he seemed, then his eyebags, worse than you've ever seen them, how he fully ignored all his friends, how he made sure that his hair was alwas covering his left cheekbone and temple, how he seemed to constantly have a hand holding his ribs.
At one point you cought his eyes, giving him the slightest smile, hoping no one else caught it. 
You mouthed 'astronomy tower' hoping that he saw it, before turning back to your friends to answer the question that Marlene had just asked.
That night when you arrived at the tower Regulus was already there, sitting with his back against the wall and his head down, just like he first time you met him there. 
But this time when you sat next to him and he looked up at you, you could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. Without a word you pulled him into a hug, his head laying against your shoulder, and just held him as his tears finally spilled.
He didnt make a sound, he just silently let his tears fall. And you held him through it.
It took him about 20 minutes before he pulled away from you. He didn dare look into your face, just sitting right next to you staring at the stars.
After a minute or so of you observing his face you finally asked softly.
"What happened?"  
He didnt say anything for a few seconds. He didnt react at all. You thought maybe he didnt hear you but right as you opened you mouth to ask again, he finally answered.
"How much has Sirius told you about our family?" His voice was quiet and broken.
"A lot. He's told us pretty much anything they would do to him." 
He took a deep breath before he talked again, still refusing to look at you.
"When he was still there, they never really did anything to me. But when he left..." He swallowed "they needed someone else to blame all their problems on. They started to find faults in me. I pretty much became Sirius replacement. When they were angry they let it out on me. The night he left was the worst. I had begged him too stay. But he didnt. He just left me there. And they let all their anger about the situation out on me."
 His voice was shaky and quiet. He sounded unsure if he should be telling you this.
You honestly were surprised that he told you this. Even if you had been "hanging out" for almost half a year now. You didnt think he trusted you like this. And he proboaly didnt.
"Regulus.." His name left your mouth in a whisper. You had never called him by his first name before. 
Hearing his name out of your mouth finally made him look at you.
You slowly grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "I'm so sorry.." 
His gaze drifted from you face to your now joined hands. You expected him to pull his hand away but he just looked away at the stars again.
Neither of you said anything else.
That night was a turning point for both of you.
You stopped being hateful to each other in public. You werent friendly either. It was a silent truce. Your rivalry for top of the class was still there but it was less hateful.
Your nightly meetings slowly turned into talking about feelings. He told you about his friends, the few that were actually decent. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch jr and Pandora Lestrange. Those were the three that actually semed pretty nice. According to Regulus they didnt really care that much about blood  status, Regulus didnt either. He had learned a lot from Sirius perspective, he was just way more scared of their parents, so he hid his opinions. 
You told him about your family problems, even though they were miniscule in comparison. About how you always felt like you stood in james shadow. 
Over time you and Regulus had come to a point were you honestly considered each other friends.
You still didnt tell any of your friends or you brother about it. You knew they wouldnt take it well.
But all of them noticed a change in you. How you seemed happier.
"Are you dating someone?" 
You nearly choked on your food, when Marlene asked that all of the sudden during dinner. 
"What?!" All conversation between your friends had halted as they all looked at you expectantly. "No! Why would you think that?" 
James looked stupidly relieved at that. He never liked the thought of you dating someone. 
It was Sirius that answered your question.
"Oh, c'mon. Even a blind person can see that you act different." You just looked at him confused. so he clarified. "You are so much happier, you constantly smile at nothing, you zone out. You're either dating someone or you have a big fat crush on someone. So go on. Spill." 
Your eyes widen in shock. Had you really been that obvious? Yes ,during the past few months you may have developed a little cush on the younger Black. But c'mon that obvious? 
But obviously you couldnt tell your friends that. Especially not Sirius and James. They would die of a heart attack on the spot.
"Do you really think if i had a crush on someone i wouldnt tell any of you? Not even Marlene or Lilly?" That was a good safe. Because yes, you usually told the girl pretty much every detail of your life. Even when you had a crush on Remus back in 4th year before you knew that he was gay. And very much in love with Sirius.
Sirius deflated on that. "Yea.. i guess that is true."
They finally picked up their previous conversations and you stole a quick glance at the slytherin table. But instead of Regulus eyes you met those of Evan Rosier. 
He had his eyes already on you and winked at you with a sly grin when our eyes met. Next to him Regulus had noticed that exchange and hit Evan in the side with his elbow. You looked at them confused as Regulus angrily whispered something to Evan who just laughed in reply.
Had Regulus told them? You made a mental note to ask him that night.
When your eyes finally went back to your friends you met Remus eyes who just lifted one eyebrow and smiled knowingly at you. 
You ignored him and went back to eating.
Later that evening you were sat in the common room doing potions homework when Remus excused himself from the boys to walk over to you. You looked up at him for a second as he sat down next to you before going back to writing. 
"You know, at some point they're gonna find out." 
"I have no idea what you're talking about Rem." He couldnt know. Right?
"Yea you do. You know, you're lucky that i'm the one that keeps the map most nights."
At that you froze. Your quill a few centimeters over your parchment. 
The map. 
Shit.
How did you forget about that.
Remus noticed your stressed facial expression. 
"They dont know. I havent told them dont worry. " You relaxed a little at that. "But you know its only a matter of time before one of them finds out."
You let out a breath that you didnt realize you were holding before putting down your quill, frowning at the spot of ink on you parchment, that had dripped from the quil. 
"How long have you known?" 
"Right before The holidays." 
"Rem that is so long! Why didnt you tell me that you know?!" You whisper yelled to make sure none of the other boys heard you.
"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready."
Your face softens. Of course. You dont answer.
"Sooooooo... you want to talk about it? He sure has you happy so he clearly cant be that bad." He says with a smile.
"You have no idea." You grin.
That conversation led to an almost 1 hour long talk of you talking about Regulus. How nice he is. How attractive, because god did you find him attractive. You told him about Regulus friends. How you think that at least Evan knows. Why Regulus is actually mad at Sirius. Everything. Because you knew that Remus wouldnt tell anyone. He has always been good at keeping secrets.
"You are so whipped for him, oh my god.." He told you at the end of your rant with a small chuckle.
You felt your face get hot. "Oh fuck off. Like you arent evenly as whipped for Sirius."
"Oh low blow." You just stuck out your toungue at him in response.
Remus then got a little more serious again. "Are you gonna tell him that you like him?"
You bit the inside of your lip. "I dont know Rem. I dont think he likes me like that and i dont wanna destroy something good yk."
"Yea i know what you mean." He looks over at Sirius.
You change the topic slightly. "So, uhh.. take the map tonight?"
He looks back at you with a grin. "Yea i got it. I'm gonna go back to the others. You finish that homework before you leave tonight."
"Yea, yea, whatever."
That night your walk to the astronomy tower is interrupted.
"Oi Potter!" You stop and turn around in surprise to see a ginning Evan Rosier.
"Rosier? What do you want?" 
"Oh nothing really" He is a bad liar. "Where're you headed to after curfew?"
You narrow your eyes at him. "I dont see why that is any of your business."
He knows. And you know that.
"Alright fine. I know you're meeting with Reg." You sigh and turn back around to continue your walk to the tower.  Evan quickly follows you.
"Listen, Reg kinda let it slip that you guys have been meeting up." 
"Okay? That still doesnt answer why youre talking to me right now."
"Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot." He is grinning from ear too ear now. 
But its what he said that makes you pause in your steps for a second. 
"What?"
"Oh yea, boy is smitten." He grins but immediately notices his mistake and his smile drops. "No wait. Forget i said that. You didnt hear anything okay?"
Your face is flushed now. Did Evan just tell you that Regulus likes you? Like... Like liked you?
"Uhm- Right."
"But just hypothetically... if you did hear something.... Would that something be reciprocated or not? Because if it was i wouldnt feel so bad for you hypothetically hearing something."
You dont even know what to say to that. You really didnt want to tell Evan about your crush on Regulus. Sure he trusts Evan but you really didnt know the guy.
"None of your business Rosier." You start walking again, while Evan just stays were he is. 
"Im taking that as a yes. Dont tell Reg that i hypothetically told you that. Im not ready to die yet." 
"Whatever Rosier!"
Your thoughts are racing. Regulus likes you. Except Evan is just trying to mess with you. But that doesnt seem like something he would do. Atleast not from what Regulus told you.
You are so in thought that you almost dont notice Regulus waiting when you reach the top of the tower.
You only snap out of it when you hear him call your name. 
"You good?"
"Hm? Oh yea. Sorry, just thinking." You sit down next to him, like always and pull out your pack of cigarettes. You kept stealing them from Sirius and he kept wondering how they keep dissappearing.
"About?" 
"Rosier just talked to me." You werent gonna tell him about the hypothetical thing Evan told you. But you were definetely gonna talk to him about the fact that Evan knew.
"Evan? Why?" He reached over, pulling a cigarette out of your pack without asking.
"He knows?" Was all you answered as you pull your lighter out of your jacket.
Regulus laughed nervously. "Uh- yea, i mightve slipped up on that. Sorry. I swear he wont tell anyone." 
"Its fine, you can tell your friends as long as they keep it to themselfs." You lift your lighter to light your own cigarette, when Regulus suddenly leans into your space to light his cigarette at the same time as yours. His face only centimeters away from yours. 
You flush. Fuck that was hot. He leans back with a slight grin. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.
"Any of your friends know?" He asks as if he didnt just do that. Fucker.
"Well.. Remus knows. I didnt tell him. He figured it out on his own." You stammer out. 
Goddamn it. 
"Lupin? Makes sense. Hes smart. He knows everything." 
"Yea except for the fact that Sirius is painfully obvious in love with him. Thats the one thing he doesnt seem to notice."
"Wait what?" He seems confused. Shit. Did you just out Sirius to his brother? You thought he knew.
"Did- Did you not know Sirius is gay?"
"No, that much is obvious." Oh thank god. "I meant, Those two arent a couple?"
That makes you laugh. 
"No! They've been in love with each other for years but are the only ones that havent realized it yet."
Regulus is both surprised and amused by that information.
"They had me fooled. I thought they've been together for forever." He's barely holding back his laughter.
"Nope just incedibly dense. Both of them." 
Neither of you can stop the laughter at that point.
You think that this might be the most genuine laughter and smile you've ever seen from Regulus. 
Your laughter dies down a little as you look at him. His head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open in a bright grin as he laughs. He looks beautiful.
You just stare for a few seconds, with a soft smile on your face.
He stops laughing and notices your staring.
"What?" He asks, smile still on his face.
"You're Beautiful." You answer without thinking about it.
When you see his pale face flush a light pink shade in surprise you realize what you just said and look away in embarrassment.
"I- Uh- I mean.." Fuckfuckfuck. Why did you just say that. Its true yea, but still. Oh my god. You are such an idiot.
"So are you." Those three words are all it takes for your rambling thoughts to dissapper fully. 
Brain empty.
You look back at him. His face is still a little pink but he has a little smile adorning his lips.
You dont know what to answer so you just stare in silence. Evans words from earlier come back to your mind.
Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you ,so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot.
FUCK. You are a goner at this point.
Luckily for you Regulus seems to notice your inner turmoil and changes the conversation to something easier without a second thought.
"So, did you finish that potions homework yet?"
You are honestly thankful thatt he is just able to do that. Make you think about something else.
But for the rest of the night, hell for the rest of the week all you can think about is that moment.
The next day all your friends can tell that you are even more in thought than usual but they know better than to press on it.
Except for Remus. Between classes he pulls you aside to ask what happened. You tell him everything. 
From Evans slip up to Regulus calling you beautiful.
"Thats great! To me thats a clear sign that he likes you too." 
"But Rem what if i'm misinterpreting?!"
"You literally have confirmation from his best friend."
You dont have more time to talk about it because both of you have to get to your next classes.
But you keep thinking about the whole thing.
You could tell that something had changed between Regulus and you. Not in a bad way, you dont think.
You caught him looking at you more often. During meals, during class, during your meetings. You noticed because you were also looking at him more often. 
Eye contact for a few seconds to long and smiling before one of you would look away.
This went on for about two weeks. How often had you thought about kissing him during those two weeks? You had lost count. 
Then one night, Regulus had just made a joke that you had both laughed at for far to long, and when you finally stopped you realized how close you faces had gotten. 
Regulus had noticed too.
You were staring at each other, you eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips and back up. Your tongue darting out to wet your lips in a nervous tick as you caught his eyes looking at your lips too.
You subconciously moved even closer, noses now centimeters away from brushing against each other.
Regulus is the one that asks in almost a whisper "Can I kiss you?"
You cant get any words out so you simply nod your head ever so slightly.
Regulus leans towards you, closing the gap between you in a soft kiss. 
Its not heated, not rushed, its slow, soft and full with emotions.
Its perfect.
When you part, neither of want to fully pull back. Your noses still almost touching.
After a few second you gain your voice back and admit in a whisper.
"I really like you Regulus"
"Merlin I would hope so." He answers with chuckle. "I like you too."
You lean in to kiss him again. 
And again.
The rest of that night included a lot more kisses. As well as a talk about what you you were to each other. You were glad about that. Not knowing would have killed you probably.
You both came to the conclusion that you wouldnt be telling people (Except the ones that you trusted) but that you are in fact dating.
You wished that you could stay like that all night but unfortunately both of you needed sleep.
"Goodnight Reg" 
You kissed him one more time before starting to walk away, his hand in yours as long  as you could.
"Goodnight mon cherie." You smiled to yourself all the way back to your dorm.
The next morning Remus knew. He just knew it from one look at you. You were honestly so glad that he knew and you were able to tell him everything.
The last few months until summer went well. Hang outs, kisses and talking. Regulus also at some point properly introduced you to Evan. Honestly the two of you hit it of really well. 
The closer summer got, the more nervous both you and Regulus got. 
He would have to go back to his parents and you wouldnt be able to write each other without his parents asking questions.
You spent the last night before summer in eachothers arms, telling him to be careful. You didnt want to part from each other but reluctantly did so right before sunrise with a long, loving kiss.
That morning both of you kept stealing glances at each other, Remus doing his best to ease your worries.
On the platform you barely had enough time to see Regulus dissappear with his parents.
"You coming?" You turned around at James question.
"Yeah."
The first half of the summer was pretty uneventful, even though you still worried about Regulus.
For the second half, Remus had joined your family.
A week later you were helping your mother prepare dinner when you heard a soft knock on your front door.
Confused you turned toward Euphemia.
"Are we expecting someone mum?"
"Not that i know of. Would you mind checking who it is darling?"
"Sure." You quickly put down the plate you were previously holding and went to answer the door.
On the other side was the last person you expected to see. 
"Reggie?" Your voice filled with worry and almost a whisper. 
Regulus looked bad. Almost worse than Sirius when he appeared at your doorsttep a year and a half prior. He was bleeding and bruised, and looked like he was minutes away from keeling over.
His eyes met yours, filled with tears that were steadily flowing down his cheeks.
"I didnt know were else to go..." His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming and shaky from crying.
Before he had even finished his sentence he had stepped towards you, nearly falling into your arms. You hugged him back while pulling him back into the house with you with a small "cmon..".
Inside you let go of him, carefully guiding him into the living room and onto your couch only stopping near the kitchen to yell to your mother.
"Mum! We need the healing kit!"
Your mother immediately stuck her head out the kitchen door to see what was going on.
"Oh dear." She quickly left to get the kit.
Meanwhile you had carefully sat Regulus onto your couch,sitting next to him and holding his hand, scared that hugging would hurt him. You didnt need to ask what had happened. That much was pretty obvious.
"Regulus." You urged him to look at you with a small squeeze of your hand. "Hey.. Its gonna be okay. Your safe now. I promise."
He didnt answer but layed his forehead onto your shoulder and squezed you hand back. He was still crying although not as hysterically anymore.
Euphemia entered the room, healing kit in hand and carefully sat infront of Regulus on the floor. You had done this before so she knew to be careful as not to scare him.
"Regulus right?" Her voice was soft and quiet as if she was talking to a scared animal. He didnt react so you nodded at your mother to confirm that she had the right name.
"Regulus, I'm gonna heal you now. But i have to touch you for that. Is that alright with you?"
Regulus nodded ever so slightly with his head still against your shoulder. Euphemia caught the slight movement and immediately started to examine the extent of his injuries before starting to heal them one by one. It would take a while and she wouldnt be able to heal all of them fully right that moment. It had been the same with Sirius.
You quietly soothed him through all of it. Continuing to hold his hand, your thumb stroking over the back of his hands while you whispered comforting words into his ear.
Unfortunately in the middle of all this our brother and Sirius had decided to make their entrance.
"Hey mum, is dinner almost ready?" James asked while he and Sirius came down the stairs.
But before Euhemia could answer you heard both boys exclaim at the same time.
"What the fuck??!"
"Regulus?!"
Both of you looked up at them at the same time. Regulus face still stained with tears and blood.
Sirius made his way over in a instant, sitting beside your mother and grasping Regulus other hand in his bigger ones. His eyes were filled with worry. Of course they were. Even if him and Regulus werent on good terms, he was still his brother. And seeing him like that made him fall back into that role within seconds.
"Shit, what happened?? Did they..??" He didnt finish his sentence. He didnt have to. Because he also knew. 
Regulus started tearing up again and turned his head towards you to try and hide it.
You instantly hugged him against you in comfort, your second hand reaching up to the back of his head to cradle it against the junction of your neck and shoulder.
"Sssh, its okay Reg." Your face pressed against the side of his head a told him that.
Your eyes met James over Regulus head. He just stood there perplexed. Not only was Regulus fucking Black bleeding in his living room, but he also cuddled up close to his sister like they were close.
You knew that you had a lot of explaining to do later, but right now you had different priorities.
So you ignored James and continued talking to Reglulus in a quite voice to help him calm down, occasionally pressing little kisses to his temple and hair.
When your mother was done, she slowly got up. "I'll leave you guys alone for a bit. If you need something just call." 
She left the room at the same time as Remus entered, having come down to see what was taking the boys so long.
Remus quickly hid his surprise at the fact that Regulus was here and simply asked "Is he okay?".
You simply looked at him and said "He will be."
After that you all sat in silence for a few minutes, only disruted by Regulus quiet sniffeles.
When he had finally calmed down again he still refused to let go of you.
Remus was the first to speak up. 
"I think he should take a shower, get all that blood of him. Prongs, Padfoot, wait in the kitchen well join you in a minute." 
Both boys started to protest but Remus wasnt having it and herded them to the kitchen looking back at you for a second.
" I got it Rem."
You helped Regulus up, guiding him to the bathroom.
Once you were there you closed the door behind you and turned towards Regulus.
He grabbed you by your hips and pulled you towards him. Being close to you always comforted him.
You reached up to carefully hold his face in your hands. 
"Are you okay?" Worry was evident in your eyes and voice.
"Now that im with you i will be." He answered quietly, leaning down to lay his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.
Your quiet moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Hey." Remus. "Can i come in? I got you some clothes."
You pulled away from Regulus and opened the door, stepping aside slightly so Remus could hand Regulus the stack of dark clothing. 
"They're Sirius, so the should fit you." He then looked at you. "They have a lot of questions. You should come downsairs and talk to them."
You sigh. This was what you were scared of. "Okay, I'll be down is a few."
Remus nodded and sent one last smile at the two of you before leaving.
You turned towards Regulus again. "Do you need help with anything or are you good?" 
"I think im good" And then quieter. " Thank you. You dont understand how much all of this means to me." 
You smile at him and step closer to press a small kiss to his lips. "Of course. Im here for you. Always." Before leaving him to shower, closing the door behind you.
You take a deep breath before beginning your way to the kitchen. Halfway there you could already hear your brother.
"Why are you so calm about this Moony?! Did you know?!"
"Prongs will you calm down?"
"No-" 
All conversation halted when you entered the kitchen, all eyes turning to you.
James looked both confused and near furious and Sirius just looked confused. Like he wasnt sure what to make of the whole situation yet.
"Explain." Is all James said as he said down at the table and pointed at the chair across from him.
You said down and so did Sirius next to James, and Remus, next to you.
"After summer last year, I've started to go to the astronomy tower at night. Just for some peace and quiet, away from everything you know. 
One night he was there too. A few days after school start. He didnt really say anything. We just sat together. He didnt look good. Like, really tired and he had this giant bruise on his face. He had it hidden during the day, but that night i saw it. I didnt say anything about it, but i knew it was from his parents. 
After that night we just kept meeting there. We didnt talk, we really just sat in silence with each other. At some point i started to tell him about my day. He never said anything but he also kept coming."
You looked from James betrayed eyes down to your hands that layed intertwined with each other on the table.
"Then after christmas break, he looked so much worse than before. And that night he broke down. And he told me everything. About his parents. And how much worse the got after Sirius left." 
Your eyes flicked to Sirius face. Guilt written all over it.
"After that we just started talking to each other. About anything. He even introduced me to a few of his friends. They're honestlyy really nice. They dont support their parents ideas really. And a few months ago..."
You looked at Remus. His expression encouraging you to continue. 
Fuck it. Just rip of the bandaid.
"A few months ago we kissed and we've kinda been dating since then." Your eyes were glued to a little scratch in the surfice of the table. Refusing to meet James or Sirius glances.
"WHAT?!"
"Prongs. Calm down. I think they're good for each other. Its their life. Not yours." Thank merlin that Remus exists. You didnt know what you would do without him.
"How long have you known about is Moony?!"
Remus looked down for a second before meeting James eyes again. "Right before christmas."
James was about to answer something probably dumb, when Sirius suddenly turned towards you.
"I cant believe you wouldnt tell me you were in a relationship."
You chuckled nervously. "Thats the part that bothers you about this?"
"YES! And also I'm trying to focus on something that isnt the fact that your DATING MY LITLE BROTHER... so i dont freak out." You could tell that he was really trying.
"Im sorry i didnt tell you. I was just worried how you would react." You said apologetically.
"For good reason." Remus mumbled making you smile slightly.
James face softened. "Well.. as much as i dont agree with this. And i dont. For the record. Remus is right. Its your life. But if he tries to pull something you tell me alright? And ill take care of it."
"Oi thats my little brother your talking about!" That made you smile. At least they're trying. "But seriously, if he tries something you tell us." 
"He wont. But thank you." You smile at them. Remus laying his hand on your shoulder making you look over at him.
Then Sirius half joking, half serious voice makes you look at him again.
"But seriously my brother? Why? Out of everyone."
"Wow Sirius. I feel kind of attacked." At the sound of Regulus voice you quickly turn around.
He stood a meter behind your chair , black hair wet and tousled, his tall slim frame clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a black sabbath shirt. 
"Reg. How're you feeling?" Your voice was still filled with worry even though Regulus already looked a lot better. You held your hand out towards him, beconing him closer.
He took your hand, walking over to sit in the open chair to your left. Remus being on your right.
"Better." He said a soft smile on his face, as he just looked at you for a moment.
You smiled back at him before saying "I think we should get mum back and finish making dinner. You hungry?" 
"Starving." It sounded like a joke but honestly with his parents you could never know.
"Remus, make sure they're being civil okay?" You spoke as you got up, squeezing Regulus shoulder in passing. "I'll be right back."
Just as you left the room you could hear Sirius whine. "Moony we're always civil! I dont know what they mean."
"Yea yea Padfoot whatever you say." You could pracicaly hear the adoring smile in Remus voice.
Surprisingly when you came back with your mother, no one was dead. 
Your mother had pulled both you and James with her to help with the food, giving him the perfect oppertunity to keep asking you annoying questions about you and Regulus. 
Remus offered to set the table, giving Sirius and Regulus a chance to talk. Something they hadnt properly done in years. You didnt hear what they said but it ended in a hug so at least it was good.
Dinner was kind of awkward. Your Dad having to quickly be filled in on what happened when he arrived in the kitchen.
Regulus was given the guest room to sleep in, Remus had been sleeping in James and Sirius room anyways. So when you were sure he three boys were in bed you snuck into the guest room, cuddling up with Regulus under the blanket.
"I saw you speaking with Sirius earlier." He hummed in reply, his face hidden in your hair, his left arm around your waist, holding you close to him.
"Did you talk everything out?" You turn slightly in his hold so you could look a him. Your faces now right infront of each oher.
"Not everything. Thats gonna take a while. But he apologized. Its a start." His voice was low and tired.
" Thats good. I know how much you both missed each other." Again he simply hummed in response.
"I think we should sleep." You say with a grin. "You're barely awake anyway." Another hum.
You lean forward for a soft kiss. He kissed back. "Goodnight mon cherie."
You smile. "Sleep well Reggie." 
He cuddled back into you, his face against your neck, arms holding you close, legs tangled with yours.
You smile at his almost asleep form. 
He was okay. 
He was safe.
And he was yours.
And maybe. Just maybe. You would be okay.
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remus x shy!reader (part 3)
author: sj
warnings: fluff; reader is in hufflepuff; uses she/her pronouns; not edited
my masterplan of slowburn is coming together, but its finals so this will take me while <3
masterlist
part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5
---
the first time he realizes that you aren't officially his
remus and you were extremely close. to point that the boys just assumed you two would get married. it was just an unspoken agreement that you were remus' and remus was yours. remus would always be touching you, and it got even worse over the full moon so why wouldn't you be dating?
however, it all changed when another hufflepuff didn't catch that drift. you were all sitting in potions, you and james at a table and remus and sirius at the one behind you two. you weren't fully paying attention, when jordan, another hufflepuff in your year, came up to talk you.
he was obviously very interested in you. to the point where he was stumbling over his words and making you feel bad for him. you reached out your hand to him to comfort him as he stumbled over trying to ask you a question.
"jordan, slow down, what is it that you were wondering?" you ask, empathetically, giving him a soft smile.
"i- was just wondering if you'd go to hogsmeade with me this weekend." your face instantly heats, you nodded your head and responded with a small sure. "great. meet in the common room at 9:30?" you nodded your head and gave him a small smile.
the boys, watching this whole thing happen, were aghast. what do you mean our y/n is going on a date with a random boy. peter was shocked it took someone so long to ask you out. james was most horrified at what will be remus' reaction. sirius was most impressed that you accepted. remus had no reaction. his first thought was you were taken so it was funny jordan was even trying because they are dating and then he quickly realized his mistake. they weren't dating. they just... were.
once back in the gryffindor common room, it was awkward and the tension was so thick, sirius thought he was going to choke on it. "what the hell y/n"
"huh? what do you mean?" you asked, confused why he was upset with you.
"you have a date! can we come? are you just going to ditch us on a perfectly good saturday to go make out with a guy you don't know. you could barley even speak to us when we first met, how are you supposed to snog a rando?" sirius asked you, you instantly curling in on yourself. you wouldn't lie, you were also wondering some of those questions.
"she's allowed to hang out with other people besides us, sirius. and i'm sure she'll be just fine on a date. she'll snog the best she's ever had." james said, sitting next to you and patting you on the back.
remus was still focused on the snog part of conversation. you wouldn't snog him would you? how was he supposed to just be okay with this happening? he didn't want to make you feel bad or make it seem horrible that you were asked out, he just felt so shitty for not asking you out yet.
"no you can't come! that defeats the whole purpose of a DATE you idiot!" you yelled at sirius, exasperated, cheeks flushing red.
"but we could watch from a distance!" sirius yelled back at you.
"sirius. she's right. we can't go with her, that's the whole point of a date. she gets to go with him by herself. it'd be weird if we were just sitting at the next table over." remus said, putting a reassuring hand on your back, supporting you.
"remus! a word??" sirius aggressively stage whispered to him.
sirius quickly dragged remus to the boys hall around the corner and once stoped, hit remus in the chest.
"what is wrong with you? are you out of your everloving mind? your wife is going on a date with another man and all you have to say is that we can't go with her? you're supposed to pull the broody protective card you idiot."
"i'm sorry my WHAT?" remus sputters.
"your wife, your buns or whatever the fuck you call her. the girl that you are desperately in love with!!!!" sirius whispers yells at him.
"i'm walking away right now." remus replies, walking back into the common room that the rest of the group is in.
after a while of yelling and chaos and a few minutes of work, remus and you were left to yourselves for a few minutes.
"hey rem?" you ask from the other end the couch, back against the arm rest, your toes tucked under the side of his thighs. he looks up in response, pushing his glasses up to see your face clearer. "what does one do on a date? like should i prepare questions just in case or will he have questions prepared?" you ask, cheeks flushing, voice small, knowing you would only be able to ask him without dying from embarrassment.
"love, you don't have to prepare questions." he answered, no hint of condescending tones in his voice. "it should just flow pretty naturally. you just get to know each other. no big deal." he responds, rubbing your shins while he talks. you nod.
"but what if we run out things to talk about? like what if the only thing we have in common is being a hufflepuff? then what? and what if he tries to kiss me? i don't even know him! oh my god i should just stay home." you wilt into your hands.
"bun. you will be great. if he doesn't know how to keep the conversation going then thats his fault. you are the easiest person to get along with so its not your fault at all. and if you don't want to kiss him then don't. you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." he says, bringing your chin up with his thumb and pointer. your eyes met his, and his heart cracked a little with the overwhelming love that surrounds you in his mind.
"can i tell you something? you have to promise to never tell the other boys. ever." he nodded settling his hand on your legs. "promise." you whispered.
"i promise, bun."
"i've never been on a date. and i've never kissed anyone. hence the panicking." you whispered.
"what? how?" remus asked, shocked.
"no ones ever liked me like that i guess." you shrugged, feeling a little awkward with the way he responded.
"no, bun. i didn't mean to ask it like that. you just are so sweet and lovely the boys have missed out. there is nothing wrong with having done neither of those things. i'm not accusing you of anything, i'm mad at the boys of hogwarts." he scoffed as he reassured you.
your lips tipped up into a smile and you giggled at his dramatics.
"do you think he'll think i'm weird that i've never done those things before?"
"no, bun. if he does, then thats his problem, not yours. he needs to get over himself." remus replied, getting irritated at the idea that someone would have a problem with you.
"i'm so nervous, i already feel like i'm gonna throw up." you said, leaning forward and resting your forehead on his shoulder.
"love, you will be great. and he's the luckiest man alive that he gets to take you out." and while all of this was true, all remus could think about is how he would do ungodly things to be the one taking you out. he might just have to fix this.
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cinnamonic-thoughts · 21 days
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no ok dont get me wrong i do love feminine short sirius black but. did we forget that sirius is canonically the tallest marauder. like obviously fuck jkr so canon is less important but also where are the fics where he towers over everyone. mr. flair for the dramatics would Love it. here are my contributions:
sirius will walk up to remus and just plant his face in his hair. when remus asks what hes doing he goes "mind your business" and walks away after a few minutes. the smell calms him and his hair is so soft that sirius cant help it
constantly makes fun of james for being oh so short despite the fact that the difference is like. an inch
despite being the tallest marauder, he can Always find and squeeze into the smallest hiding spaces when theyre pulling pranks, and the rest of them just cant figure out how he does it
until he makes an offhand comment about how he had to teach reggie how to hide so he could go and distract walburga, so reggie wouldnt get hurt when she was in one of her Moods
while im at it, sirius is taller than walburga by a lot, so looking at them next to each other, people find it harder to believe she could ever Really hurt him because after all, "youre so much bigger than she is, cant you just fight back or run away?"
big, loud, Bold sirius with legs a mile long + remus Dying when he wears any kind of shorts or, god forbid, Skirts
tall!sirius is so unexplored guys
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familyvideostevie · 6 months
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october twenty-sixth
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day twenty-six: remus lupin you’ve been on three dates without a kiss. will today change that? | first kiss, early relationship, fluff | 1k
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Three dates and Remus hasn’t kissed you.
Though your friends insist otherwise, you can’t help but wonder if there is something wrong with you.
He’s respectful, they tell you. He’s shy! You want to believe it. He’ll kiss you today.
God, you hope so.
Obviously, you could kiss him, but something in your gut tells you to let him make the move. It’s hard to resist though, as Remus is very kissable. He’s handsome in a way you don’t know how to describe. The scars on his face make him seem a bit severe but it’s cancelled out when you see the soft kindness of his eyes. He looks like someone who would give you directions in the middle of a rainstorm. He fills out his sweaters like they were tailor-made for him and his hands are huge.
And he’s tall, which you’re never opposed to.
And he likes to touch you. This is the main reason you haven’t given up hope on the kiss.
On your first date — a long afternoon of conversation at a coffee shop — he’d put his hand on your back on the way in and out, helped you take your coat off and held it out for you to put back on, and gave you a very lovely hug when you parted ways. On your second date he’d linked arms with you as you walked through a museum and held your hand when it got a little crowded.
He definetly likes you. Right?
Date three finds you at a bookshop. You’ve actually planned to go to a pub quiz down the road but you got the timing wrong and it doesn’t start for an hour, so you’re killing time.
There aren’t that many people milling around the stacks. Remus squeezes your hand and leaves you to browse on his own, which you appreciate. It can be kind of overwhelming to be under his gaze all the time, you’re learning. Maybe it’s just the force of your fancy, which is a bit outrageous after only three dates. You find yourself imagining him in your life — a couples Halloween costume, a fall weekend away, holiday parties and on New Year’s Eve.
Remus just makes it easy. He’s so…lovely.
So how can you get him to kiss you? It’s far too early for mistletoe. The bookstore is instead decorated with leaves and skulls and pumpkins. Maybe you’ll float the idea of a Halloween party, use some liquid courage to kiss him.
“Are you going to get anything?” Remus’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. He looks at you patiently.
“Oh,” you say. “Not sure, actually.”
He hums. “I think I’m going to grab this.” He holds up a book you’ve heard of but not read. “If it’s good I’ll pass it along to you. You sure I can’t get you anything?”
Of course he’s offering, of course he’s ready and willing to share with you. He’s infuriating. “No,” you say, smiling. “Thank you, though.”
He squeezes your hand. “I’ll be back in a moment.”
True to his word, which you are learning he tends to be, he’s back quickly, grabbing your hand once more and leading you back out into the cool evening. “Is there going to be food at this quiz?” he asks. “I’m peckish.”
“’Course there is,” you say. “I’m not taking you to a pub without food, Remus. I’m not that bad of a date.”
He laughs. It’s quickly becoming one of your favorite sounds. “I’d never think that. I hope you don’t expect us to win, though, because I’m hopeless at these.”
You scoff. “I don’t believe you.” Remus is very smart and very modest about it.
“No, I really am!” he says. “I know useless things only. You’ll have to come to one with me and James and Sirius —” you know them as his best friends based on how he talks about them “— because they get really into it. I know you’ll being them to victory where I always drag them down.”
“You don’t know that I’m good at pub quizzes, Remus.”
His eyes twinkle under the streetlights. “I’ve got a hunch.”
He wants you to meet his friends. The thought warms you.
The light on the crosswalk changes and you stand, hands clasped, waiting.
Fuck it. You’re going to do it. You’re going to kiss him. You take a breath and turn to him, lean in before you can second guess yourself —
Remus turns his head to say something and your foreheads smack together.
“Oh my god,” you say, rearing back. “Oh my god, I’m so —”
“Are you okay?” he asks, hand on his own forehead. “What just happened?”
He releases his grip on your fingers to gently grab the back of your head, tilting your face this way and that as if he’ll find a wound.
You flop your face onto his shoulder. “Please, leave me to die of embarrassment,” you mumble.
“Never,” he says. “Really, darling. Are you alright? Didn’t hit you too hard?” His tenderness is making your stomach do something funny. Darling, darling, darling.
“No, Remus,” you sigh. You pull back to look at him. He really does look concerned, bless him. “I’m fine. I was trying to kiss you.”
“Oh,” he says, looking slightly surprised. “Sorry, I suppose. That’s my fault.”
“Yes,” you grumble. “It is, considering you haven’t kissed me yet, which is why I was trying in the first place.”
Your embarrassment is making you brave.
His eyes light up again. “Do you want me to?” His tone is slightly teasing.
“Remus!” He laughs and cradles your face in his warm hands. This man always has warm hands even when it’s cold out.
“Alright, alright, let’s try this again, hm?”
He leans in slowly. Your eyes flutter shut. When he kisses you it’s a light press of his lips at first and then a firmer pressure as he slots your mouths together properly. You let him do the work and you sigh into it until he pulls away
Your foreheads press together gently this time. “Let’s try to avoid any more injuries, alright?”
You smack his chest. He laughs.
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thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here! promptober masterlist, find all fics under #fvspromptober23
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ellecdc · 2 months
Text
A Man With a Plan.5
prologue // p1 // p2 // p3 // p4 // p5 // p6 // p7
Remus Lupin x whimsical!reader - Hogwarts Era (no Voldemort) - Soulmate AU
CW: swearing, self-deprecating thoughts, James losing his ever-loving mind.
“Okay. Start again, from the beginning.” Remus heard James say as he made his way back down to the common room with the Marauder’s Map held fast in his iron grip.
Regulus sighed something that sounded a lot like for Salazar’s sake, Potter as he looked at the ceiling of the Gryffindor common room for patience; jury’s still out on whether he found any or not.
“She was supposed to meet me in the library after the game to study.” He muttered plainly.
“Right.” James said as he paced near the fire, arms crossed and one hand up near his mouth as he chewed on his cuticles. 
“She never showed at the library, but I didn’t think anything of it as she often gets-”
“Distracted, right.” James agreed readily.
Regulus had lowered his head and was now looking at the floor. “I still had her books though, so I went to bring them to her dorm, or at least drop them off for her. Her roommate-”
“Which one?” James interrupted.
“What?”
“Which roommate?”
Regulus scoffed and levelled James with an incredulous glare. “I don’t know, Potter. Why would I know her roommates? The lot of them are tosser’s anyway.”
“Did Reggie just refer to someone as a tosser?” Sirius stage whispered to Remus. 
“Was it Mary-Ella?” 
“I don’t know who that is, Potter.”
“Did she have glasses?” James tried again.
“No.”
“The red head?”
“No.”
“Okay so it was Jill, then; the blonde.”
“Fine. Yes, Jill,” Regulus started, obviously antsy to get this conversation over with. “Said she had packed a small bag and said, and I quote,” he emphasized, obviously already having gone over this with James, “it’s better that she stays away from the castle for the weekend.”
James had since stopped his pacing and stood in front of the fire as he pieced the facts together.
“Okay...” he started as he looked to Regulus again. “One more time.”
“Potter!” Regulus shouted at the same time Sirius whined “Prongs!”
“This is awful. This is just awful.” James said as he resumed his pacing.
“Okay, well, relax Potter. She’s more clever than people give her credit for – I’m sure she’s fine.” Regulus said as he rubbed his temples.
“I know she’s more clever than people give her credit for.”
“Then why are you so wound up?” Sirius asked. Big mistake.
“Because, if she’s not here, who will stop the nargles, Sirius!?” James shrilled. 
“What the fuck is a nargle!?” Sirius shouted back.
“I don’t know! All I know is that Y/N’s not here, and now the nargles are going to steal my stuff!”
Remus was fully convinced that dogs two counties over could hear James at this point.
“Guys? Has anyone seen my shoes?” Peter interjected as he stood from his spot on the carpet where Sirius had abandoned their card game. “I swear they were just here.”
“Oh gods, it’s starting.” James cried miserably.
“Oh relax, Potter. The nargles aren’t interested in smelly running shoes.” Regulus added with derision. “They’d much prefer a nice wizarding pair of dragonhide boots.”
Suddenly, realization seemed to dawn on Regulus’ face as he turned quickly and exited the Gryffindor common room.
“Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods, oh gods.” James muttered as he resumed his pacing.
“Alright, are you going to tell him? Or should I?” Sirius said as he turned his sights to Remus.
“Tell me what?” James said immediately, looking between his two friends.
Remus’ face was pale and clammy while Moony was screaming in his mind at the thought of you being gone, not being safe, being hurt, hiding.
“Tell me what?!” James asked again.
Remus just shook his head.
“Remus.” Sirius warned.
“What did you do? What did you say to her?” James accused, immediately on the offensive as he stalked towards him. Lily stood swiftly to block James’ path.
“I...I can’t...I-she’s,” Remus stuttered miserably.
“Oh, for Godric’s sake.” Sirius muttered as he stalked up to his dorm room. He returned swiftly with the book Hairy Snout, Human Heart and tossed it to James who caught it easily. 
“She is his soulmate.” He said simply.
“SOULMATE!?” Lily, Peter, and James all guffawed in unison.
“I thought that was just a myth.” Peter muttered as he took the book from James’ hand and began flipping through it.
“Apparently not.” Sirius muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s had this guy wound up for weeks.”
“Holy shit.” Peter muttered as he held the book out for James and Lily to see as well. “It’s true. It’s here.” 
“How do you know it’s her?” Lily asked Remus.
He snorted and shook his head as Moony shouted MINE.
“Just a hunch.” He muttered miserably.
“Is this why you’ve been so upset, recently?” Peter asked quietly. James scoffed and shook his head angrily.
“So upset... to have such an odd girl as your soulmate, Moony?” James spat furiously.
Remus felt the colour drain from his face as Moony started arguing angrily in his head. IS MINE. IS MINE. MINE, GOOD. MINE, GOOD. 
James scoffed and threw the book onto the table. “You know, out of everyone, Remus, I thought at least you’d be more understanding. That perhaps maybe you would know what it’s like to be different from everyone else – treated differently than your peers.”
James looked down his nose at his friend as he began to stalk out of the room. “Turns out you’re just as bad as the rest of them.”
Remus felt a tear fall as he turned back to regard his friends.
“Sirius.” He whispered miserably.
“I know, Moons. I know that’s not why; I’ll talk to him - but I don’t blame him for being angry.” Sirius offered solemnly before he followed James up the stairs.
“You know...it makes a lot of sense.” Peter mused aloud.
Lily and Remus turned to face him with matching expressions of bemusement. 
“A witch who believes in nargles ought to believe in soulmates. She’s probably the perfect person for you.” He said simply with a shrug.
Mine. Miss. Missing. Where? Mine. Moony whimpered.
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James was officially missing one half of two pairs of socks, his watch, his school tie, and his new quill set that his mom had sent him.
Oh, and also his sanity if you asked Sirius. 
Sirius was starting to feel like he was losing his sanity too, between Remus’ brooding over your ‘disappearance’ (which sounded so dramatic considering you told people you were leaving and that you’d be back after the weekend), James’ (and admittedly, Regulus’) fussing over nargles, auras, and something other entity Sirius has never heard of, and Peter’s complete lack of help with any of the above. 
“All this over a bird.” He muttered to himself as he handed James one of his extra ties.
“Moony, up. We’re going to breakfast.” He barked over his shoulder. Remus just shook his head.
“Get up.” He demanded. 
“M’not hungry.” Remus muttered petulantly.
“Don’t care, Moons – we’re going to breakfast.” 
“Leave me alone.”
“Oh, for fucking fuck!” Sirius said as he stomped his feet. “Lupin, I swear to fuck if you do not get your arse down to the Great Hall right now and eat - because I know you won’t eat later and then you’ll have the moon tonight and then you won’t eat tomorrow morning which will have meant you haven’t eaten in over 24-hours – I will find your bird and bed her myself.”
Sirius felt ridiculous for a) his temper tantrum and b) threatening to steal his best mate’s girl – but it appeared to have its desired effect when Remus stood abruptly from what Sirius had officially dubbed the brooding chair with a growl and stalked out the dormitory door, shouldering Sirius as he went. 
It was going to be a long day.
Unfortunately for Sirius, it was an even longer night. 
James and Remus still weren’t speaking as the four of them made their way to the Shrieking Shack for Moony’s transformation. Peter, the poor sod, kept trying to make conversation, though it was all in vain as Remus was still too broody to engage and James just offered the occasional grunt of acknowledgement. 
And unfortunately, Moony wasn’t in better spirits.
After Remus’ transformation, Sirius – now Padfoot – had the unenviable task of watching a Werewolf in mourning.
The Wolf spent most of the night making pathetically sorrowful howls at the moon, and when he wasn’t crying, he was trying to gnaw angrily on his ankles. When Padfoot tried to get him to stop, or encourage a playful romp, Moony snapped at him.
Padfoot huffed to say “fine, you sod”, but his whimper as he laid on the opposite end of the room betrayed his haughtiness – Padfoot’s heart was breaking.
It was breaking for his Moony – his pack – and it also broke for Remus. Remus, who finally had a shot at something wonderful but let it slip through his fingers because he was too full of self-loathing to accept an opportunity. Remus, who deserves love and compassion, because lord knows he doesn’t give enough of it to himself. Remus, who found probably the most openminded and understanding person in the world. Remus...who found his soulmate. 
His soulmate.
Moony found his happy ending.
And Padfoot was not going to let him lose it.
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Remus blinked against the harsh brightness of the infirmary the following morning – his body aching in ways it hadn’t since before the boys started joining him for the full moons. As he stretched, the bandages that pulled at his wrists and ankles explained why.
Moony had been angry. And he’d taken it out on Remus.
Remus couldn’t blame him. All of the floundering, grasping at ridiculous straws, the planning he’d been doing all week. For what?
To use a poor girl for sex and distractions? To cheat Moony, and himself, from what he really wanted? To fight and argue with his friends, his pack? To have you take off for two nights?
He hated himself.
He hated himself, he hated himself, he hated himself.
And Moony hated him too.
Remus groaned as he pushed himself up in a sitting position.
“Feeling better?” James muttered as he fluffed Remus’ pillow for him. His face and tone remained angry despite his kind gesture.
“No, not really...” Remus admitted.
“Me neither.” 
“James, I’m sorry.” Remus sighed as he settled back into his pillow. “I swear I...it’s not her, I-”
“It’s not you, it’s me. Really, Moony?” James sneered.
“Yes, Prongs. You know this.” Remus stressed. 
“Uhm, no. What I know, Moony, is that you are a wonderful, caring friend who loves his people so strongly, and has more love to give, and certainly deserves more love than he allows himself. That’s what I know.
“I also know that I have a very wonderful, lovely, caring friend who deserves the same amount of love she gives to everyone else, and you wouldn’t even give her a chance!”
“James. I know.”
“And anoth- what?” James stopped in his tirade. 
“I know.” Remus repeated as his eyes welled with tears. “I tried to fight it because I didn’t want to drag anyone else into my mess; I didn’t want anyone else to feel responsible for me. I’ve already damned my mum and dad, I’ve already dragged you three into this – I couldn’t do it again. I thought I was strong enough to ignore it, but I can’t.”
“Rem, you didn’t damn your parents. That’s what happens when you have a kid; the kids’ job is to be who they are, and the parent’s job is to love them regardless. And we chose to help you through this Rem – and it was the right thing to do!” James cried as he lifted his hands in the air.
“I just don’t want you guys to regret it one day or decide I’m too much. Then what would I do?” Remus admitted quietly.
“Oh, for- You know what, Lupin? Only way you’re getting rid of me is through death. Got it?” James said with all the sternness he could muster.
Remus huffed a laugh and nodded. “Okay Prongs.”
James deflated and offered a curt nod. “Good. ‘Cause I need your help finding Y/N. I cannot risk losing another one of my quills – my mom is going to kill me.”
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Padfoot felt like he may have scrapes on his nose from how long he’s been out here following your scent. But he knew it would be worth it when he found you and got you back to Moony.
His ears perked up when he heard movement, but he swiftly hid behind a large oak tree when some Centaurs stepped onto the path.
“Now, if you continue West from here, you should find the rest of your path to Hogwarts unhindered. Stepping off the path brings the chance of new adventures and grave danger.” A centaur proclaimed.
“Thank you very much, Firenze. Best of luck on your search for the Snidgets.” An airy voice called back. 
Padfoot knew that voice! That was Moony’s soulmate! Padfoot tried to hide his excitement (i.e., he tried to stop his tail from wagging) until the centaurs all left.
Suddenly, Padfoot shifted and bolted out from behind the tree to stand in front of you.
“Y/N!” He shouted as he grabbed your upper arms in his hands, scanning you from head-to-toe for any signs of injury. 
You seemed surprised by his appearance, but not startled. Sirius figured you probably should have been startled – it was a pretty startling thing for him to do.
You had no injuries, but a few branches and leaves were caught in your hair and on various parts of your body. You were also not wearing shoes.
“Well, hello Sirius. It’s very nice to see you.” You said plainly.
“Nice to see me? Are you- where are your shoes?” He decided to settle on first. Not the most important question – but it took priority in Sirius’ mind.
You looked down at your feet like you weren’t fully aware they were bare. “You know, I’m not quite sure. Not to worry, though; I’m sure they’ll turn up. Lost things often have ways of finding their way back to us, if not always in the way we expect.”
Sirius had no idea how to respond to that – so he didn’t. “Do you have any idea how worried everyone has been?” He sputtered at you.
Your eyebrows furrowed at that, and you almost seemed upset as you responded, “Oh dear, I didn’t mean to concern anyone.”
Sirius immediately regretted saying anything; now he could see why James was so sweet on you.
“Well, let’s go to the castle and tell them all that, then.” He acquiesced as he hooked your arm in his and began the path back to Hogwarts. You did not seem concerned nor feel the need to object to his manhandling you. But Sirius knew he would not be letting go of you until you were back in the castle – maybe not even then. He was not going to deal with Remus, James, and Regulus like this again.
“Regulus was perhaps most concerned.” He lied, knowing very well he was far from the most dramatic through all of this. “Very worried about the nargles in your absence.”
You hummed in acknowledgement. “As he should; they’d be quite interested in his dragonhide boots.”
“You don’t say.” Sirius murmured, unadmittedly becoming increasingly concerned with the state of his beloved Doc Marten’s stowed in his school trunk.
“Better hurry then.” He said as he all but dragged you up towards the castle. 
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Remus tried not to get too caught up on the fact that he was sitting in the infirmary with James and Regulus Black of all people as they scanned the Marauder’s map for any sign of you. He also pretended he didn’t notice the fact that Regulus was holding a duffle bag that appeared to have everything he owned jammed inside it.
“She said she’d only need to stay away from the castle for the weekend, right?” James asked as he continued to scan the parchment.
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Yes, Potter. Like I said.”
“Okay, I can’t look at this anymore – I’m going cross-eyed.” James moaned as he leaned away from the map and rubbed his eyes from behind his glasses.
Remus felt awfully guilty. He didn’t know how you would know - though he wouldn’t put it past you at this point - but he didn’t think it was a coincidence that you left for the full moon. He doesn’t think he’d ever forgive himself if something happened to you because of it.
“Oh, thank Godric.” James finally breathed as he stood from his chair.
“Godric had nothing to do with it, Prongsie.” Sirius called out as he waltzed into the infirmary – your arm in his. 
James all but shoved Sirius aside as he enveloped you in his arms. “Where have you been!?” 
You smiled sweetly – that damned dimple making an appearance to taunt Remus – and patted your friends back.
“Oh, I wasn’t far Jamie.”
Sirius let out a pfft from where he was now leaning against the wall at the end of Remus’ bed. “Not far she says. I found her with a herd of centaurs.”
“CENTAURS.” The three other boys shouted, earning them a dramatic shushing from the matron.
“Y/N, centaurs are very hostile towards wizard-kind.” Regulus spoke severely, albeit more quietly for Madame Pomfrey's benefit. 
“I don’t agree.” You said simply as you turned to look at Remus. “Are you feeling much better?” You asked him.
Your voice was so tranquil compared to the conversation with the boys, and even with Madame Pomfrey – Remus was sure if he was hooked up to a muggle heart monitor, his blood pressure would be dropping just from listening to you speak.
Keep smiling at him like that, though, and it might pick right back up.
“I am, Y/N. Thank you.”
You sighed in relief as you sat on the edge of the foot of Remus’ bed. “Oh good. I figured it’d be easier if I was gone.” 
Sirius and James’ necks looked like they might have snapped as they turned to look at you. The room fell painfully quiet as Sirius, James, and Remus all looked at each other and then to Regulus. 
Regulus seemed to understand his intrusion. “Uhm, right. Well, Y/N L/N, you are to never take off like that again without informing me. Got it?” He said severely. Remus is sure most people would have cowered, but you smiled sweetly and brushed his cheek.
"Okay, Reg."
Regulus offered you a curt nod and left the infirmary. Remus supposed that was likely as loving as Regulus Black could ever get. 
“What would have been easier if you were gone, Y/N?” James asked quietly.
“Well, the moon, of course.” You responded.
That muggle heart rate monitor? It’d be showing no signal at this point.
“I’m terribly sorry if your bond to me is causing you problems, Remus.” You offered solemnly. Remus thought this might be the most emotion he’d ever seen from you.
“It’s...it’s not your fault.” Remus croaked.
“Y/N, how much do you know?” Sirius asked.
You considered Sirius for a moment before responding. “About what?”
Sirius looked between the you and Remus before arching his brow at the latter. Remus grimaced and leaned forward to tap his finger against your hand that was closest to him to bring your attention to him.
“How much do you know about me?”
 “Well, I know your name is Remus Lupin. You’re from a town outside of Cardiff. You’re a Pisces, a Gryffindor, a werewolf, and a prefect. And you have a magical connection to me, it seems.” You said all too simply, head tilted as you searched his face for something.
Remus’ mind was reeling; it was reeling that you apparently knew he was a werewolf, and it was reeling at the fact that in a list of things you knew about him, that fact fell between him being a Gryffindor and a prefect and was not as important to you as his birth sign. 
“What’s his name?” You asked suddenly.
Remus shook his head as if to wake himself up. “I’m sorry?”
“The Wolf; what’s his name?”
Remus looked to Sirius who was staring at you with a terrified sort of awe, and then to James who looked both proud and smug that you’d figured it out.
“It’s Moony.” Remus whispered.
You smiled greatly at that. “A wonderful name.”
Sirius smirked at that – clearly chuffed his hard work was appreciated. 
“It’s fitting too – should have seen him mooning over you this weekend – this month even!” James said.
Remus threw a chocolate wrapper at him from his bedside table.
“I’m sure it’s difficult, feeling tied to someone so odd.” You offered quietly, and any friendly banter drained from the boys immediately.
“Y/N, that’s-” James started, but Remus interrupted.
“I’m so sorry to have made you believe that Y/N, but it’s just not true.” He said emphatically.
You tilted your head at him in intrigue. “No?”
He shook his head. “No. I was trying to keep you away from...Moony, from my infliction.” He admitted shamefully.
“Hm. Well, that didn’t work very well.” You said plainly, causing Sirius to bark a laugh.
“Most of his plans don’t, dollface.” He said through a chuckle.
“Oh, plans aren’t always a bad thing: it’s good to be prepared. But it’s important to plan to be spontaneous as well.”
“Plan to be spontaneous?” James asked incredulously.
“Oh yes,” you said severely. “I get my best work done that way.”
James seemed to consider this as Sirius sighed. “Yes, and, if you plan too much, auror’s throw around words like premeditated.”
You nodded in comradery. “Very true, Sirius.” 
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Continue to chapter six here.
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moonstruckme · 4 months
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i don’t really request so idk if this is where i should be asking but I wanted to know if you could do a Sirius x reader story where Sirius is trying to ask out or “woo” the reader but she is rarely noticed romantically and sort of confused and surprised by sirius genuinely liking her
You nailed it, babe! Thanks for requesting :)
cw: alcohol, mention of vomiting
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
The smell of vomit has escaped the bathroom and is seeping out into the hallway. You scrunch your nose and try not to breathe. Or hear. Your friend is purging all the alcohol she’s drank over the last few hours with your other friend holding her hair and murmuring slurred but heartfelt encouragements, and because you’re a sympathetic puker you’ve been put on bathroom guard duty. 
“Sorry,” you croak when another person comes up to you. “This one’s occupied. I think there’s another upstairs, though.” 
“I’d really rather people not use that one,” he says. His voice is silky smooth. “Last time I allowed that, everything in my medicine cabinet had moved around the next morning.” 
You blink. “This is your party.” 
“I’m Sirius.” He gives you a smile and sticks out his hand for you to shake. His palm is cool against yours. There’s something disarmingly intense about his gaze, the way he holds yours the whole time you’re touching. “This party is one-third mine. I live here with my roommates.” 
“Right, I—uh—” You try to reclaim control of your tongue. “I think one of my friends knows one of your—James?” 
Sirius nods thoughtfully. “Seems likely. Is she in there?” He nods to the closed bathroom door. 
You feel embarrassed at the scene now, though you’re not sure why. “Yeah. She’s helping my other friend, who’s, uh…having a rough time.” 
He purses his lips. The movement accentuates his cheekbones, which you can’t help but notice are ridiculously striking already. They certainly don’t need the extra help. “Think either of them will go through my medicine cabinet?”
Your eyebrows bunch. “No. What?” 
But he’s already knocking on the bathroom door, cracking it a tad. He brushes a piece of hair behind his ear as he bends at the waist to poke his head in. It’s a deep, impenetrable black which moves fluidly like dark water. 
“Hi.” His voice softens as he addresses your friend. You imagine the situation probably looks dire. “She alright? It’s—no, it’s fine, babe, it happens. Would you like to use my bathroom? It’s a bit cleaner, more privacy. I mean, if you think you can make the journey?” 
Someone must answer in the affirmative, because then Sirius is ushering them upstairs. You take up the rear, providing vocal but cautiously distant support and trying not to gag when your friend does. 
“Well,” Sirius says, closing the door to his bedroom behind him, “that’s taken care of.” 
“That was really nice of you,” you reply. “Thank you.” 
“Oh, it was mostly selfish.” He grins, leaning over the banister to look down at the party. “See that broad-shouldered, smiley bloke in the middle of the couch, looks like he plays every sport known to man?”
You laugh and acknowledge that you do. 
“That’s James. You can see, I’m sure, how it’d be fairly easy for him to shake me about by my ankles if I let his friend kneel on the dirty floor of our downstairs toilet. Plus, now I get to keep the general public away from my bathroom and you don’t have to look so green and uncomfortable at our party anymore. Everyone wins.” He turns his head to look at you, eyes twinkling. “But mostly me.” 
Fuck, being in this guy’s presence is like being in a dark room with a shining star. You’re blinded by the sheer presence of him. 
“Did I really look green and uncomfortable?” you ask him. 
Sirius smiles like he’s trying to stop himself but not really. “I mean, you were obviously stunning regardless, but yes. You’re much improved now, though.” He nods downstairs. “Let me get you something to drink, doll.” 
You’re concerned you might be actually reeling, but you manage to nod, and Sirius takes your suddenly warm and sweaty hand in his cool one, leading you down to the kitchen. You don’t know what’s happening, how it came to be happening to you of all people, but you’re more than willing to go along with it. 
A girl named Marlene has requisitioned the party’s alcohol. She pours Sirius a gin and tonic, giving him a meaningful look and a smile when he turns to you to ask what you want and you squeak out “The same.” He hasn’t let go of your hand. 
“So on a scale of want-to-leave-right-now to best-night-of-your-life, how good a time are you having?” he asks conversationally as he guides you into a loveseat.
You clear your throat, doing your best to act casual. The most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen is sitting right next to you, holding your hand and talking to you like you’re halfway interesting. This night is ranking pretty highly. “That’s quite the range.” 
“Well, I want to allow for plenty of variance,” Sirius explains. “Earlier, you were standing outside our nastiest toilet and looking like you could be sick, so I might have interpreted that as a two and I’m hoping things have improved since then. What would you say?” 
You smile into your cup, hoping the lighting hides your blush. “Definite improvement.”
“Really?” He grins, sparkling. You try not to swoon. “That’s excellent news.” 
“Is it?” 
“Of course. I want you to have a good time, gorgeous.” 
Your heart does an odd, stuttering thing. You feel suddenly warmer. You wish any of that could be chalked up to the alcohol. If he keeps talking to you like this, you’re worried you’ll actually go into shock. These things don’t happen to you. 
“Why?” you ask, dumbly, before you can stop yourself, because you’re an idiot. 
“I mean,” Sirius swipes his hair behind his ear again, gaze dropping from yours for just a millisecond, “you might stay longer if you’re having a good time. I’ll take you for as long as I can get you.” 
His eyes have found yours again, but they’re different. There’s less bluster behind them. You feel the beginnings of a slow, shy smile spreading across your face. He actually does like you. Somehow, realizing his nervousness lessens yours. Maybe you’re on equal footing here.  
“I’m having a good time,” you tell him. “I want to stay.” 
Sirius mirrors your smile, and his charm is back in full force, but this time you can see through some of the smugness. It feels like he’s let you in on some sort of secret. “Thrilled to hear it, doll. Want to dance with me?” 
You find you really do.
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