#god i wish he'd gotten written better than this

[ay0nha]

Hi! Could would you like to write something about reader and Tangerine where she have grown up with the twins (a sorta of brothers and sister relationship) and always secretly in love with Tangerine, and viceversa, but at some point they split and she left. Anyway they meet again and during an argument something happen so the truth comes out and a smut at the end?! Ps: Sorry for my bad English but it's not my first language. Thank you so much!

Pairing: Tangerine x femme!reader

Word count: 3.2K

Warnings: Canon typical violence, mentions of guns/fighting/etc., rushed writing about fake dating, etc.

A/N: UMM your english? BETTER THAN MINE TF. Anyways, thank you SO much for this request. School and work have been getting the better of me so this isn’t as well thought out/written as I’d like it to be but I thought I’d get it out! I strayed a little and didn’t include smut :// not very good at writing that. Regardless, enjoy! (Send in more concepts, I like reading them...hehehe)

Tangerine's hair had  gotten longer since the last time  she'd seen him, but it was still  annoyingly managed. There was something  inherently bothersome with how  he managed to look put together.

She  noted how he wore his most  tailored suit, the one that caused a  compliment to slip through her  lips the last time he wore it around her.  He   leaned against the building, legs crossed with a cigarette settled   comfortably under his newly grown mustache.

Pulling her eyes away she opened her arms to greet her old friend, "Lemon..."

"...God, I've missed you..." He sounded exasperated. It made sense especially due to why they'd even met up in the first place. It showed their desperation, "He's running me thin...I swear I might kill him..."

"You always say that," She started to feel the humor bubble in her chest, "...and yet, he's still standing..."

The conversation carried on as if it hadn't been years since they'd seen each other.

Lemon could always make her laugh. That's how their duo became a trio when they were kids. She was the little girl from the apartment over, too timid to even say hello to the twins. Even when he was young, Lemon knew how to separate the genuine from the insincere making it easy to invite her in. Just like then, though, it always made Tangerine's stomach fill with something insipid.

"Alright then, we good?" Tangerine's intentionally harsh accent cut through the long-awaited reunion. It was the only greeting he'd offer her and she knew better than to expect more.

"So, what's happening this time?" She crossed her arms as if that would shield her from the nerves she felt with Tangerine close to her.

Her voice still made his chest feel full.

"Alright..." Lemon seemed hesitant to inform her and in hindsight, she wished she backed out then, "...Well, we've got this art we need to retrieve by the end of the weekend-

"The boss has already seen our faces," Tangerine stated, a frown growing deeper with the memory. It was tits up from the start, but they were stubborn and went forward despite everything going against them. Their job was to intercept the art before the underground auction, "Whole thing went up in flames-

"Lost my eyebrows," Lemon nodded eagerly to prove the point to her further.

Tangerine glared at his brother's interruption, "...There's this soiree of sorts happening-

"Swanky-like," Lemon added, "Suits and ties and-

"And..." Tangerine's anger was rising by the minute, "That's where the auction is being held, meaning the window to get this art back is only a few hours."

She bit at Tangerine lightly, "I'm not doing this solo."

"That's where you come in, right," The conversation bounced back to Lemon's hesitation, which was covered with his characteristic humor,  "You'll be Tangerine's missus, so when-

Her laugh cracked like a whip, "Lemon, your ideas are becoming worse and worse."

Reaching to his own hand, Tangerine pulled the ring from his pinky that would be just shy of fitting her ring finger well, "It was mine."

"Happy wife, happy life."

"Words to live by," Tangerine agreed with the elderly man who patted his shoulder harsher than he would normally allow. If it were anyone else, their hand would already be missing.

Instead, his free hand occupied her waist, burning a spot there with how firmly he held her into his side. The conversations varied little; all old couples who wished to  live vicariously through the fake couple presented before them. The pair  looked good together, the intentionally matching tones of their clothes  helped, but what really pushed her over was how heavy the ring felt on  her finger.

"Please, sit with my wife and me," The man insisted, slightly pulling Tangerine away from her.

Tangerine's hand trailed down her arm to find her fingertips to hold her hand behind him. He continued his conversation effortlessly, schmoozing with the man who likely had the largest influence at the event. Suddenly, the entire thing felt overwhelming. She needed to detach herself before she dissolved into his touch.

She hadn't thought detaching from him would have been as momentous as he'd made it seem when he looked back at her with worry, "You alright?"

It caught the attention of the other gentlemen around them, but she put them at bay the same way she had with Tangerine when she paired a light hand on his chest to say, "I'll meet you there, I just need the restroom."

The night wasn't inherently difficult, but it would be bad luck to admit something like that. What was worse was how badly she wished something would happen just to be released from playing pretend. It felt cruel in consideration of the years spent trying to subdue her feelings only to play them out as if they were nothing.

Her skin felt like it was crawling with how warmly Tangerine had been towards her. As if forgetting the years that had passed between them without communication.  He was being attentive and playing his role as husband a little too confidently, which only served as a reminder of how she failed to uphold her end.

As if hearing her thoughts, Tangerine burst through the bathroom door to see how she stood idly at the sink, "What the hell are you doing?"

"What I'm not allowed to take a piss now?"

"I-" He stopped himself from showing the side she'd slowly come accustomed to. He was holding back his wrath, not willing to express the authenticity of his words. His hand went to his hip while his other was held out in explanation, "I have to talk to that fucking tart out there and you're in here-

"I needed a minute."

There was a brief look of hesitation as if he was going to ask her again if she were alright, but it left just as quickly as it appeared. Running a hand down his face, he went through the plan in his head again. It repeated over and over throughout the night, trying to find if there were any holes.

"Well your minute is up," He held the door open, eyeing the hallway for anything suspicious, "...If you don't get it together we're fucked."

Checking herself over once more in the mirror she asked, "Have you heard from Lemon?"

She knew he was on standby until the auction started, but rarely was he as quiet as he was. Although she wouldn't label him responsible, he was the responsible one of the two which said a lot.

"Ran into some trouble, but he's there." Tangerine looked at her strangely, as if not appreciative of his brother's name being spoken aloud.

She hummed, following him out of the bathroom. She worried about Lemon and his habit to leave his kevlar behind. He was a more than capable person, but that only worried her further knowing he'd get himself into any sort of trouble with confidence.

Tangerine's hand ghosted the small of her back the entire way back to the dining area as if she would stray from the path to get there.  The place was grand but held an exclusive guest list that all looked homogenous. Tangerine and she looked modest in comparison, contributing to the unintentional attention on them.

"There you are my boy," The elderly man clapped delightfully, motioning for Tangerine to take the spot saved next to him, "Thought you might have fallen in..."

"That was my fault, I got a little lost," She feigned a laugh that was meant to poke fun at herself, "...It's like a maze down here..."

"Happens to all of us," A warm hand touched her arm that was undoubtedly the elderly man's counterpart, "My first auction, I accidentally ended up in the wine cellar-

"When don't you?" Her husband contributed to the banter.

This world invited Tangerine in, but he just drew the lucky card for the night. Tangerine was brash, and his loyalty to football was always present which gave him an in with the others. They found him charming.   She'd never seen him fit a role so willingly. Ideally, she would have too. However, she stayed safe, chatting lightly here and there with the other wives. For something so illegal, it felt so mundane.

"Love?" Tangerine's hand went to her thigh, hand finding security there and able to gain her attention with urgency.

She hoped Tangerine would cover for them as the others asked the question she knew was inevitable. However, that was one this Tangerine lacked in comparison to her; creativity.

"Oh, well.." She placed her hand on his, playing along by toying with his rings like she had when they were younger, "...It's quite a boring story, really..."

"Please." The women urged her to continue as did Tangerine. He was curious to know what she'd come up considering she could barely look at him now.

"...We grew up next to each other," She started with the truth, making it easier to think of more to embellish, "...I hadn't liked him very much at first, thought he was reckless and rude."

"Which I am," Tangerine agreed, playing into it perfectly, "But she was very shy...I'd be lucky to get a word out of her."

She rubbed up his forearm lightly, trying to convey how badly she wanted this to end, but it only encouraged him further.

"She avoided me for years, really," He spoke affectionately, but refused to look into the eyes he felt steadily trained on his profile, "...I'm not really sure what changed her mind in the end."

The ball was hit back to her now, all eyes on her expectantly. She relied on the truth but wasn't sure how far it could take her. A pregnant paused passed, their entire shtick becoming more suspicious by the moment. Tangerine squeezed her thigh, hoping she'd pick up soon before he had to stumble through an excuse. Yet, the extra touch made her chest and face reflect the warmth he made her feel.

"He's quite nice to look at, isn't he?" She teased the crowd as well as him.

Yet, Tangerine seemed surprised at the compliment. Some women giggled in agreement, happy to tease him further and talk about their husband's prime days. It was the perfect response to diverge the conversation while indulging in what they wanted to hear.

Once enough attention was on the pair, she move her hand back to the meal in front of her while Tangerine held her firmly.  The people around her seemed harmless despite the white collar crimes they'd committed. Everything didn't seem as life or death as it was made out to be.

Glasses clinked while cutlery clattered on the fine chine.  She almost wanted to call it nice. She almost felt content.   It distracted her well until the room was filled with darkness. Lemon. It was the last resort message that meant the plan had in fact gone tits up.

There were the expected gasps and clutching of pearls when the red lights illuminated the walls as a lighthouse would. Then men complained, at the ready to fire and sue those who dared to interrupt the event.

Tangerine, though, was already out of his seat, reaching for hers to move swiftly. They would be lucky to have seconds before security became involved and realized they were on the opposing side of it all.

"Stay behind me."

His tone was serious, as he guided her hand to the back of his belt to latch onto.  His gun was in his hands in moments as he stalked forward tentatively. Even though Tangerine desired to present a strong exterior, she knew he wore his heart on his sleeve. At the moment, with just his body language, she saw his anxiety about having her there.

He held the gun at the ready, shoulder pressed tightly against the wall   preparing for when he'd face what was on the other end. With a hand   holding the back of his belt, he could feel the weight of her behind   him, helping him focus on disarming the people in front of him from a   safe enough distance.

The rooms had been cleared and from the buzzing in Tangerine's pocket, he stressed that the paintings were now under question as well. It all happened too fast for any success of their own. Pulling the device out of his pocket, he heard Lemon's mockery on the other side. She could hear him calmly, yet frustratingly, explain how the art was already stolen. It all meant they weren't alone in the heist.

By the time they'd cleared through the distraction of the henches, and unnecessary bloodshed, the twins finally realized they were intentionally separated. They had been played, meaning their recuperation was even harder. There were people crawling the city they were in, every and any movement suspicious to those looking for them. For the night they were better off waiting to come together.

Her stomach felt queasy at the thought of being utterly alone with Tangerine.  He had a dominant personality, but she'd never seen him that way until he unintentionally drove a wedge between them. His presence became   pesky. He became overbearing and protective but covered it with   an attitude that was unmatched.

Even now as he groaned to himself in pain, she felt irritated.

"Lay down." She instructed him, drying her hands with the hotel washcloth.

Tangerine    had been struggling all day. His gait gave him away, one that she   aided  in stabilizing with her arm locked with his. But that only did so   much.

"I'm fine."

The response lacked creativity like  all the times before, but the problem remained the same. Tangerine  liked to spin the story, and fabricate epic adventures that led to his  injury. But in reality, it was due to a bully of a kid that knocked him  down during a football match when he was a teenager. It never paired  well with the fresh injuries he received with his work.

"I  didn't ask how you were," She held back her bark, watching how he even    struggled to pull his own shoes off.  "I told you to lay down."

His  back begged for the brevity and complied easily as he crumpled forward  on the sheets with a deep sigh. It   felt wrong to crumple the fine   fabric of his dress shirt, but it  needed  to be done for the damage on Tangerine's back to being revealed to  her.  The bruising was so   sensitive it made his skin flinch even with  her  gentle touch.

"You have this looked at?" She commented when she peeled back the haphazard bandages. Lemon's work, no doubt.

"My back has been killing me," He caved when he felt her hands linger, "Lemon's convinced it'll clear up in a few days."

"It would if you didn't go gallivanting."

Tangerine put his body in every punch, no doubt only irritating the already uncomfortable injury further. Yet, he refused to answer her. Another reason why the dust never settled for them. He hated how her comfort could settle his anger. He wanted her to be gentle with him like she once had, but he wasn't sure if she still held him in the same regard.

It wasn't entirely unknown how the two felt about each other, especially with Lemon's intuitiveness and inability to keep quiet about it. It was a shared soft spot for another. It was exactly why Tangerine turned his back away from her to face her directly, to see if he was lucky enough to see it again.

"You think that?" His tone was like it was when they were teenagers; afraid of her judgment and hesitant.

"Of course I do," Her frown deepened, "I'm worried that-

"No, no," He shook his head, already forgetting the current conversation they were having. The comment played in his mind throughout the night, "That I'm quite nice to look at?"

There it was.  It was in the relaxation of every part of her face, her expression softening for him and his child-like eyes looking up at her for an earnest answer.

"I like this." She confirmed delicately, trailing her fingers to the small patch of hair below his lip.

"Go on, then," His lip quirked, "I bet you've been dying to say something."

"I have nothing bad to say," Her hand returned to itself. The facial hair suited him. It matched his energy more than a completely bare face. "I think I might keep it for awhile," He tried to tease her further, hoping to elicit more compliments from her. He knew he wouldn't get anything said to him straight, but he'd take anything she'd offer him.

Tangerine saw how he succeeded as a soft smile came on her lips to match his, "I think you should."

In the progression of the night and the fight, he'd shed some layers. His tie was missing. his jacket forgotten, and buttons now exposing his necklace that hung deep into his chest, something her eyes flickered down to as he moved impossibly closer.

"Tell me something," She started, eyes fixated on him intently, "...You didn't really need me tonight, did you?"

"Not particularly, no," He smiled like he was caught, but she'd been onto him from the start, "...Took me awhile to find you..."

This was how they worked, it wasn't as linear as it should have bee, but they could rely on guaranteed resolution. Usually, over something small or big, the density of it minuscule in comparison to the argument that would explode, would happen. It would happen in a cyclical way and always end in an almost confession. Then, in an attempt to ignore the unsaid, space was required. However, this was the first time an argument hadn't exposed them and the first that long of a period went by. Their kindness in feat of turmoil, became new territory for them.

"Don't get quiet on me now," Tangerine's whisper was desperate, exposing how badly he needed to hear he was in her good graces again, "...Almost like it better when you're yelling at me."

She squinted at him, turning her head slightly to say, "I'm trying to find the lesson to be learned."

It went unnoticed as all subconscious desires go; her scent now mixed with his and so did her desire. They looked entirely casual, propped side by side the way they were. Their bodies needed the come down after all the adrenaline.

"There's always a lesson to be learned," His eyes traced her face with ease.

"What could you teach me that I don't already know?"

He clicked his tongue against his teeth as he tutted lightly, "Well, for example..." Tangerine started with the confidence she always envied. He drew out his words as his hand bravely came to the side of her neck, tapping on her artery that pumped harder than usual, "Did you know that-

The sound that shattered their attention came from the door, resembling a doomed future. Their bodies reacted accordingly, pulling anything to be on the defensive. However,  the sturdy steps belonged to Lemon as he finally came into view looking worse for wear. "We need to move, now!"

#q #tangerine x reader #tangerine #bullet train imagine #bullet train tangerine #tangerine angst #tangerine x oc #tangerine x femme!reader #soft tangerine #tangerine imagine

[queenseneca]

Oh GOD this was a disappointment. And yeah, spoilers or whatever. I don't really care.

Get it out of the way, this was not the Knuckles show, this was the Wade show. Too much Wade. Too much. Way too much. It's annoying. Look, I liked him in the movies, he did a good job there because he wasn't the main focal point, and in the first couple episodes I could excuse how he acted.

But no. OH NO. After episode two, he just got so bad. Taking the spotlight from, frankly, the MUCH better character. Episode one set a perfect precedent for how the series could have gone. But nope. They threw it all away.

Then by episode five, they've literally made Knuckles a side character. In the show that's NAMED AFTER HIM. Oi vey.

This really should have just been named Wade. But no, if they named it that, it wouldn't get the people watching it. Because no-one likes Wade. He's a side character; keep him as such. He went from ok in he movies, to tolerable in the first two episodes, then 3-6 he became full on egotistical.

I wish Knuckles had been the main character. I wish he'd been given the spotlight. I was so looking forward to it. I was looking forward to watching something about him, learning about him and how he interacts with the world, how he comes to terms with his inevitable home in Green Hills. I wish he'd had more interactions with Sonic and Tails. But they're thrown out after episode ONE. After that, it's random unimportant person after random unimportant person. Seriously think this show had been written and voiced by AI. Because it's just that bad.

And I haven't even gotten to the lackluster villains. I know they're supposed to be important and everything, raise the stakes, but they're really not. Just generic "bad British woman and coloured man to show diverse cast". I mean, they literally tossed a man, who was white and blonde, into the Mushroom planet with no reason whatsoever than political stuff, I'm sure. And they tarnish the good name that Jim Carrey made playing as Robotnik. Even if he isn't in the show (thank god), they treat him like he's nothing more than a commodity, someone to link to every bad thing that G. U. N does.

Oh yeah, haven't mentioned that yet. They're using THAT G. U. N. Y'know, the one that's supposed to be super powerful and secretive that, for hopes of Sonic fans, will be treated with respect in the 3rd movie? The one that offed Maria Robotnik and drove Gerald crazy and started Shadow's entire character arc? That G. U. N. They aren't even given that much screen time. Two episodes, then they're tossed away until episode five. And the woman is all "oh woa is me, I wasn't listened to because I'm a woman and the place I work for is misogynistic and I was given a desk job to keep me safe waaa"

And the ending. Oh boy. Ok, to put it in simple terms, I'd call the ending of season one (and hopefully the series), stupid. For 6 episodes, they had a chance to grow genuine chemistry between Wade and Knuckles, to give them a chance to get along. To give them a reason. And you'd think with a series like Sonic whose games are rife with dark and mature themes, they'd explore it. But nope. It's just the first movie, remade with Knuckles and Wade, but done so much worse. The Jewish stuff wasn't important. The dad abandonment wasn't needed. It's important to Knux, I know, but Wade didn't have to have it too just to find a way to relate.

And guess what? His dad is another white blonde man! Because they're just the devil in the media these days! I'd say he's British too but it doesn't contribute to the story. He's treated like a narcissist, an uppity person (like apparently all people are when they're repeat winners in a certain sport or game). god forbid a man be proud of himself.

They also did that one scene from the Sonic movie where they faked Knuckles' death, and Wade made an attempt to stand up but failed because he's a useless character. Then he said some stupid crap that he apparently "learned", even though he really didn't.

Shit like this makes me wish that the movies didn't exist.

0/10, don't recommend.

Please, for the sake of your sanity, don't watch this. Or if you do, have a pallet cleanser handy. (The jokes are awful, you'll definitely need it)

And for the comments that'll say it's for kids, the characters use a huge amount of swear words, so that rebuttal holds no ground.

#knuckles the echidna #knuckles series #knuckles show #knuckles wachowski #random rant #rant post #film review #show review

[aleyuhs]

silver ♡ lee hyunjae

warnings: mention of needles and piercings, suggestive stuff + making out! also some talk about eating pussy cause yay! no feminine petnames or pronouns are used for reader but again there is a pussy being talked about, i don't go in detail cause it's awks to me but it is talked about!

wc: 1k

a/n: this is not my fave thing i've written but i need to kick this constant thought of "hyunjae tongue piercing" out of my head before it consumes my life!! i've had this written for a while and i've been trying to fix the ending but it has remained abrupt, so i'm sorry about that >_< !! but really tho am i the only one that thinks he would look good with one...?

“and it didn’t hurt?” 

“not even a little bit, i’m not sensitive like that you know?”

alright, that might’ve been a lie. of course it’d hurt, he’d gotten a needle through his tongue just cause he thought it’d look cool. to be fair, it did, hyunjae thought he looked pretty good. not that this is anything new, since he’s always got a few compliments for himself tucked away somewhere. hyunjae is many things, and being ashamed of himself is not one of them.

in fact, the second the swelling had gone down and he was back to his normal-tongued self; able to eat and drink anything he wants, he’d finally let you come over again to see what he looked like with his new little accessory. because of course he’d told you all about it, how he knew he would look so good and all that, only to torture you by not letting you see it until he decided the time was right. you’d whined and pleaded with him, but in the end you knew what hyunjae says is what goes, especially when it’s about him. 

so it should come as no surprise that when you’d been invited over you’d been ecstatic, giggling about it on the phone with him when you noticed he could once more talk without sounding funny, like he had something stuck in his mouth. it’d been different once you’d seen it in person though, only the gods above knew what was running through your mind when he’d stuck his tongue out to let you have a good look. 

admittedly hyunjae didn’t seem like the kind of guy to get a tongue piercing, so a part of you had barely believed him when he first told you about it in a string of text messages; though it’s hard to call him a liar now that you’re looking right at the ball of silver decorating his tongue. it’s not like you’re speechless, oh no, you have a lot to say. though it’s hard to find the right words, where do you even begin? 

after a bit of mental back and forth, you’d decided that kissing him was the best way to show how you felt. this is when it all spiraled out of control, because this is when you’d realized that kissing hyunjae with a tongue piercing was even better than kissing him without one. if davinci is considered to be the greatest painter to ever have been, then hyunjae is the davinci of kissing. it was as if that little ball had enhanced him, put some magic in his body that made him kiss you like a fucking god, and after stealing kisses from him throughout a whole week, you’d realised it didn’t even depend on the situation. he’d keep it under control when the two of you were out in public, but even then there was that hint of him wanting to tease you with it. not that he had to actually tease you, just knowing that it was there was enough to drive you a little crazy. 

a week later, in the comfort of his bedroom in the apartment he shares with some of his friends; you’d begged him to go down on you with it. as much as you wish you didn’t have to use that word– “begging”, it’s the truth! who could blame you? aren’t tongue piercings supposed to add a whole other layer of sensations to oral? that’s what you’d heard, and you’d be a fool not to try it, especially now that you have one readily available. it’s not like hyunjae has never gone down on you before, if anything he does it a lot; being a real fiend for eating pussy. if you were to try and count every time he'd done it you’d be sitting there for at least an hour, losing count and having to start over at least seven times, if not more. 

safe to say, the new shiny addition to his tongue did not disappoint. you remember it so well, a bit too well, even. you’d thought your senses were messing with you– how is it fair that something so small can add so much? it’s not like you didn’t know it was there, if anything you’d been hyper aware of it, anticipating the feeling of the cold little ball pressing against you. if you were to compare the excitement you’d felt to something that anyone would understand, it’d be the excitement of opening presents on christmas day when you know you’re getting exactly what you want, but then it ends up being even better.

it’s not like you’d been expecting hyunjae to be worse at eating pussy now that he’d gotten his tongue pierced, but you also hadn’t thought it’d be this good either. but maybe you should’ve known that it would be intense, after all the times he’s gone down on you before he knew exactly how to pull that blissful feeling out of you, and it’d been filthy this time. like he was making up for, or proving something. it was the kind of endeavor that had you shaking after it was all done with; legs wobbly and thighs aching, and when you told him you probably couldn’t stand up even if he helped you it’d been said with a joking tone. but deep down? you knew damn well your legs wouldn’t even consider trying to support you in these trying times. 

and hyunjae had joined in on that, telling you all about about how easy it was to get you off now, clever glint in his eyes when he’d started talking about it during breakfast the morning after. “i thought it was easy before,” he’d said; grin showing off that fang of his that all your friends know, a real smile. when he knew he'd gotten your attention, he’d continued with his teasing, saying something about how you’d came so fast he barely had time to “show off his new stuff”, though it was all affectionate and playful. 

it’d also been playful and teasing when you’d told him he could show it off later today, but you both knew he’d jump on the offer as soon as the right moment struck. when exactly? you do not know, but hyunjae might already be planning it, the little pervert.  

#the boyz hyunjae smut #hyunjae smut #tbz hyunjae smut #i don't actually want to put it in the smut tag cause there's not really a whole lot of that in this i think but whatever! i'm rambling

[sunlightandsuffering]

Inspired by the emails I get every semester to be a note taker for the accessible learning centre!! I was wondering what happened if someone took shitty notes 😂😂 and of course it would be Eren, Mikasa's would be neat as fuck.

Mikasa takes deep breaths, trying to calm herself as she looks at the mess of printing scrawled onto the paper in front of her. Deep breaths Mikasa, she can do this, she will not erupt into sobs yet again because this idiot's notes are barely legible.

God how she wished she could just take her own notes.

Mikasa was unable to take notes because of her poor eyesight, she had glasses sure, and sitting at the front of the room helped, but overall, it was just really difficult for her to take proper notes so quickly during her morning political science class, especially when there were just so many. The sheer volume of information her professor presented on the slides and her refusal to make the slides available to students wasn't helpful. Mikasa could barely keep up, struggling to work through what all the words said, squinting up at the projector despite her insanely high perscription glasses. She wasn't blind, but she definitely didn't have the greatest vision either.

So, Mikasa had decided to apply to the student accessibility centre in hopes of enjoying the benefits of the peer-note-taking program, in which another student in her class would take notes for a small monetary credit on their student account.

She'd thought it would help supplement her own class notes, and include things that she missed.

What a load of crap that had been. Mikasa had no idea how they even chose the idiot taking her notes, every week after class she'd get an email from [email protected] with an upload of his written notes. Every time they were an absolute mess. The first time the notes had basically been illegible, pen smudges, 'a's that looked like 'u's and half cursive, half printing, she hadn't even known where to start.

She'd sent a very polite but curt email back asking if maybe next week he could type his notes as she was having difficulty reading his handwriting.

He'd sent her a happy faced emoji she could only assume meant he would fix it.

And he had, the next week she'd recieved typed up notes, only to find somehow they were still no better, he'd typed everything in comic sans, who uses comic sans to type notes???? Not to mention his lack of bullet points, it was just literal paragraphs of lecture notes, like he hadn't even taken the time to think critically about what he was actually taking notes on. She could have gotten the same notes by just using the voice to text function on her computer.

She'd sent yet another email and gotten yet another happy face in response but to no avail because the week after it was a new problem.

To his credit, he did try and fix whatever she had difficulty with, but every week it was a new issue, this week he was having difficulty categorizing the notes and different lecture topics were smushed together, sentences that started on one page and ended on another, it was a mess. He'd even added diagrams, probably thinking he was helpful, but it only made it more confusing.

She wanted to give up on it all entirely, this was not helping.

But she couldn't do poorly in this class, it was supposed to be a GPA booster for her. So Mikasa had headed towards the centre for accessible learning in hopes of talking to someone about the issue, maybe she could request another note-taker?

She arrives a few minutes after twelve, a pretty dead time as most people were either in class or eating lunch, so it was just her and another student loitering in the main lobby space, waiting to be helped by the desk clerk who was currently on the phone.

Mikasa couldn't help how her eyes slid to observe the boy, he was cute. She was a little blind, but not that blind, it was more words on glowing screens she had trouble with than attractive boys.

He's cute, very cute. Wavy chestnut tucked into a bun at the nape of his neck, the prettiest green eyes she'd ever seen, more intense than emeralds, and a killer body. He was so pretty.

He looked back at her in line briefly before turning back to the front of the line. To her immense amusement though he does a double take, turning back around fully to see her, and oh she knows that look, it's the look of mutual interest in his eyes as he turns his entire body towards her. "Hi." "Hi," she responds quietly because even his voice is attractive, deep and rich.

He grins, flashing white teeth and even his smile is perfect. "We might be here for a while, she's been on the phone for ten minutes already," the boy gestures towards the desk clerk who is angrily speaking into the phone and Mikasa giggles. "I don't think I'll mind too much." Not with him around at least, but she doesn't say that. "So what's your name, I'm Eren," He holds out a hand to shake and Mikasa takes is gracefully. His palms are so much bigger than her own, so much warmer. "I'm Mikasa." His eyebrows quirk a little as she says her name but he shakes it off, not saying anything, "Pretty name for a pretty girl." She blushes, "Thank you."

"So Mikasa what are you here for?" "Umm," she doesn't want to sound like a dick, but she doesn't want to lie either, so she sighs deeply, choosing the messy truth. "My eyesight isn't the best so I need accomodations for lecture notes. Unfortunately, whoever is doing my notes isn't the best at it." Eren barks out a laugh, "I see, can I ask just what about them is so terrible?" Nothing gets Mikasa more riled up than poorly written notes, so without even considering why Eren might be so interested she launches into a heated discussion about lecture notes. "Where do I even start, he uses comic sans to type notes! Why would he do that, everyone knows comic sans is the hallmark of unprofessionalism."

Eren chuckles, "Maybe he just likes the look of it." She shoots him an unimpressed look, "It drives me nuts." "What else?" "His printing is illegible and he doesn't organize his notes at all, he just slaps them all over the page! There's no discernible order to it at all!"

She's breathing hard as she continues to roast this poor boy and then immediately feels bad, he's doing her a favour. "He's not all bad though, he seems like a really great guy, I'm just really picky about my lecture notes. I'd love nothing more than to sit him down and teach him how to properly take notes, I don't even think he's learning anything."

That small grin is still on Eren's pretty face as he watches her, eyes sparkling with mirth, "How about right now then?" "What?" Mikasa looks up at him in confusion, what is he talking about. "How about you teach me right now how I should be taking notes Mikasa, if they're not up to your standard as you say." Mikasa sputters in shock, unsure whether to apologize or ask him why he writes such terrible notes.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Eren, I didn't know, you're really not that bad I promise I'm just really picky, I'm so sorry-"

Eren cuts her off with a finger to her lips, warm against her and she shuts up, that pretty gleam still in his eyes, "Don't worry about it Mikasa, you can make it up to me." "How?" She whispers as he pulls his index finger away.

"Take me out for lunch and we can talk. I think you should teach me how you want me to take notes, you seem to have a very specific vision."

"I do," She nods as Eren grabs her hand, dragging her out of the student accessibility centre and towards the campus restaurant.

"Perfect, it's a date." Mikasa nods mutely as Eren tugs her along by the hand, fingers interlacing with her own and she struggles to figure out how her obsession with good class notes got her here.

"Another thing, I think we should start sitting together in class."

How did she get this lucky ??

#lys's drabbles

[yong-bokk]

all in ¹

pairing: special agent ! han jisung x reader

genre: frenemies to idiots to lovers fluff with a dash of sad

warnings: mentions of drug dealing and someone got shot

u are !! angry !!

no

scratch that

u are ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノFURIOUS!!! ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノ

ur pen magically disappeared from your pen holder. AGAIN

and this time it’s the new carrot-shaped one you just bought

٩( •̀ㅇ•́ )۶ ٩( •̀ㅇ•́ )۶ ٩( •̀ㅇ•́ )۶

u don’t need to be a detective to figure out the culprit behind this

bc it’s who else other than,,,,

“HAN JISUNG”

hyunjin, putting on his earphones: “here we go again”

“yes, love?”

GOD u wish u could wipe that cute stupid smile off his cute face

“STOP. STEALING. MY PENS.”

(○｀д´)ﾉｼ Σ(っﾟДﾟ)っ

u’re going to sue chan

why chan, u ask

bc “bickering with han jisung daily” was definitely not part of the contract he gave u when u decided to join the skz criminal investigation division

but here u are

shooting glares at the special agent sitting at his table across yours, filling in paperwork with your carrot pen

and that’s just how everyday is

he teases you all the time and takes ur things

you take revenge by stealing from his ‘secret’ lollipop stash

“STOP. STEALING. MY CANDIES.”

you, popping one into your mouth: “i literally don’t know what you’re talking about, love”

(ง •̀_•́)ง “u come near my babies again and i’ll FIGHT u”

he says that

but jisung always buys more of your favourite flavour

he'd rather quit than admit that to you though !!

the two of you bicker 24/7

and everyone else just wants you two to shut up and kiss

i mean

it’s not like u two hated each other or anything

hate is a strong word

and deep down the two of u know it’s all just friendly banter

and u know this because

there was this one time

u had to stay up late to catch up on the biggest pile of paperwork u’ve been procrastinating on

at god-knows-what-o’clock u decided to rest ur eyes

just close them for a couple of minutes,, right? (◍ᐡᐤᐡ◍)

wrong!

u ended up closing them for a good HOUR before waking up and realising that u

one: did NOT finish the pile of work u promised chan u’d hand him that day

and two: overslept and is most definitely very, very late to a very important meeting

u wanted to cry but fuck u didn’t even have the TIME to cry

just when u thought ur day couldn’t get worse

it suddenly rained hard when u were just 5 minutes away from the office

( ◞‸◟)

sorry reader

that day was just /not/ ur day

u stepped into the office shivering like one of minho’s kittens after a bath, drenched from head to toe and creating mini puddles wherever u stand

u barely sat down when jisung threw something at u

honestly u were about to yell at him but then u saw

?????

he threw u his hoodie

and sweatpants

and also the warmest towel

and u just sat there staring at him bc ur last half of a braincell was: surprised

“hurry up and go change before u catch a cold, dummy”

u would’ve smacked him for calling u a dummy on any other day

but u made ur way to the restroom and changed

jisung’s hoodie felt way better than the soaked dress shirt you had on

it he smelled nice too

u’ll never know how chaotic his heart became when he saw u waddle back to ur desk looking like the absolute love of his life in his clothes

han jisung on the outside: ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎

han jisung on the inside: ⁄(⁄ ⁄>⁄ ㅅ⁄<⁄ ⁄)⁄ AKJSDFSDFASKDJ

u also don’t know this but han went to chan that day and asked him to let u off the hook for being late that day

he also asked for half of your paperwork

but this one u found out

bc u bumped into him walking towards chan’s office holding a stack of paper with a bright yellow post-it on top of it

and your name written on said post-it

“is that,,, my paperwork?”

…………

“,,,,no?”

“han jisung”

“alrightyeahmaybe…..”

“u-u did my paperwork for me?” (˃̣̣̥^˂̣̣̥`)

“don’t think too much of it, i was uh- i was just bored WAIT WHY ARE U CRYINGKSJDF”

that was a one-time thing

but yeah u definitely don’t hate jisung

and u’re pretty sure he doesn’t hate u too

even if u purposefully annoy each other on a daily basis

“i hate paperwork”

“yn if u say that one more fucking time i SWEAR-”

“u’ll do it for me?” (◕ᴗ◕`)

“U WISH”

:(((((

hyunjin: “okay shut up lovebirds. i have good news and bad news, which one do u want to hear first”

“good….?”

“good news !! you don’t have to do paperwork”

＾ワ＾) “and why is that?”

“bang chan is assigning u on another undercover case”

“that’s not bad news hyun-“

“-with jisung”

＾ワ＾) ?????!?!???!?!?!WHAT

u physically can’t even be together with jisung for longer than 2,5 seconds without start bickering with each other

what does he MEAN chan is assigning u two on an undercover case

“which part of ‘i’m assigning u and jisung on an undercover case’ do u not get”

“IT’S LIKE U DON’T EVEN KNOW US CHAN”

“listen . it’s a one-shot mission and i’m sure the two of u won’t fuck up. me assigning two of my best agents for this case is a well-thought decision”

( ´•︵•` )

ok so the case

a new club recently opened in town

and it’s currently the most popular one bc the owner is a very famous millionaire and has his famous guests over all of the time

however

there has been a couple of reports asking the officials to check for some suspicious activities going on inside

the reports seemed valid considering how details from different sources matched with each other

but the police can’t just barge in and do a thorough check

bc the one who owns the club is kind of a big deal

so ;—;

u and jisung

dressed up in the prettiest fanciest celebrity-like fits u own

in u go

it didn’t take the two of u long before u gathered up information

all u had to do now is catch them in the act and get rock solid evidence

it was supposed to be a simple fishy drug trade in a very fancy club’s private bathroom

from one of the stalls u got clear view of everything happening

but u weren’t paying attention

one second u were done sending the pictures to hyunjin

the next second u heard jisung yell ur name and suddenly someone’s on the ground ( ｡ _ ｡ )

turns out that someone barged in, attempting to shoot u but jisung got to him first

but they both didn’t miss

jisung took a bullet to his shoulder instead of u

from then on

ur body autopiloted and everything else was a blur

u helped him apply pressure on the wound as u requested help

guilt swallowed u whole when u saw him wince a little bc he thought u weren’t looking :((

the ambulance came and chan and hyunjin followed not long after

u just let them move jisung onto the stretcher and followed silently, not letting go of his hand

:(( jisung thinks seeing u like this hurts more than his wound does

“it’s okay, i’m okay. it’s not ur fault, yn”

he gave u a smile and squeezed ur hand but u know he’s just saying that bc he doesn’t want u to feel bad and worry

if it weren’t for bang chan asking u to stay for a couple of statements,

u would’ve gotten into the ambulance with jisung

(๑•́ ᎔ ก̀๑)

but u went to the hospital right after

u waited outside during the surgery and u saw him for a little while when he was still asleep

u haven’t seen him again since then

the next few days jisung was in the hospital, everything felt so… empty

the office felt so empty without jisung

u didn’t even know why u kept staring at his table

it wasn’t like he was going to pop out of nowhere

but (´•̥ ᵔ •̥`) u wish he would

hyunjin followed u everywhere and made sure to drag u away from paperwork for breaks and lunch

felix made u ur favourite batch of cookies in hopes u’ll cheer up

lee know even came in with two bags full of ur favourite snacks

“he’s not dead, yn”

but u know he was worried too

the office was just so gloomy without jisung

u can’t believe u’re saying this but u miss him

u miss bickering with him

u miss his stupid laugh when u yell out his name

u’d even let him steal all ur good pens if it means he’s going to be okay and come back

:(

by the end of the week, chan finally had enough

“yn u know u can’t keep doing this to urself”

“do what”

“come on, if there was one thing u hate the most it’s paperworks and u've been throwing urself into that without a single complaint.. it’s honestly quite concerning”

･o･ “u… called me in bc i wasn’t complaining about paperworks?”

“we both know why u’re here >: and i’m not talking to u as ur chief, i’m talking to u as a friend >: ”

……..

“i just miss him so much…. and it’s my fault, chan, it’s my fault he got hurt like that and he kept saying that he’s okay but-“

u felt bad for bursting out to chan like that but he was the one who cornered u first so >:

u walked out of chan’s office eyes puffy and although the others probably heard, u still hoped they don’t see u like this

u were about to dash for the restroom and hide there until ur eyes de-puff but

“i didn’t know u’d miss me this much”

?

???

?!@#$*(!@#$)!&@#%

u whipped ur head so fast and there han jisung was wearing his cute stupid smile

normally u would’ve thought of a snarky comeback already

but seeing him there right in front of u after a whole jisungless week

and after ur little breakdown session with chan

u couldn’t help but burst into tears again and hugged him like he was going to disappear if u didn’t hold him tight enough ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

jisung bit his lip to hold back a wince but couldn’t help and let out a little hiss when u bumped into the bandage on his shoulder

“i-i’m sorry”

u pulled away a little feeling bad for hurting him but he had u in his arms once again, holding u just as tight

“i’m perfectly fine, see? i’m not going anywhere, u can’t get rid of me that fast”

(´ •̥◡•̥ `) jisung smiled so wide when he heard ur tiny giggle

his babey ! no longer sad !

god knows how long the two of u stayed there hugging

until u heard someone clear their throat

that someone being chan

“i’m sorry but can u hug somewhere else, i really need to go”

bonus:

“wait u’re already discharged from the hospital?” (• . • ?)

“i heard u missed me and i can’t let my baby miss me any longer”

“han jisung-“

“i mean, i can’t say i didn’t miss u too-“

“U STILL HAVE UR HOSPITAL BRACELET ON U DID U RUN AWAY?????!!!!”

“……..i? discharged? myself?”

hhhHHHHhhhhh

#han #han jisung #stray kids #stray kids han #stray kids han jisung #skz #skz han #skz han jisung #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #han fluff #han jisung fluff #han scenarios #han jisung scenarios #han imagines #han jisung imagines #han jisung x reader #:han #:fluff

[getitinbusan]

Namjoon:

The Grammy Sessions

18+ smut part of The Studio Sessions

It's not a Grammy award but I hope it's a little distraction for you all until the performance. Written for @jungkookbabyyyy and @etherealxjiminx thanks for the love 💜 I hope you like it.

"You all look so handsome."

Gushing over the five men in front of you was easily one of your favorite  pastimes.

"You need to be out of here in 5 minutes, where's Jin and Joon?" 

"I'm here," Jin walked in tucking his arm around your waist. "But there's a little issue with Namjoon," he whispered not so softly in your ear. Everyone looked at each other nervously. 

"What the hell does that mean?" Yoongi vocalized what everyone was thinking. 

"It means he's a little freaked out. I've never seen him like this." Jin was usually Namjoon's support and if he was saying it, it wasn't good. 

Jimin pulled out his phone, "Should we call Sejin Hyung?" 

All eyes turned to you, waiting. "Why do you think I know the answer?"

"You always know what to do Noona, you take better care of us than anyone." Jungkook flattered while looking worried. 

You looked to your boyfriend, "He's not wrong," Yoongi shrugged.

The wheels turned in your head as you tried to formulate a game plan. 

The doorbell rang, "The cars here, what are we going to do?" 

You looked them over analyzing  who would be your best accomplice. "Jimin put your phone away, i'm going to handle this."

You tried hard to sound confident. "You're going to stay with me. Everyone else go get in the car. If we're late, you're going to have to do press alone." 

The looks of terror that befell them made you sigh. "Seriously? You all speak perfectly fine English. Stop being such cowards and use it." You kissed their cheeks one by one as they filed out. Jungkook was last.

"You've got this baby, I promise. Your English is so good now, you can do it."

"Do whatever it takes Noona, just get him there." 

"So why am I here? What exactly is my role in all this?"

You placed your hands on his shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. "I'm gonna need you to drive." 

"That's it? I could be drinking free champagne at the virtual pre show but instead I have to be the chauffeur?" 

"I'm sorry but Guk or Jin would be messy, we've gotten too close and they'd be hurt having to watch."

"Watch what?" 

"Me fucking Joon in front of them.  God Jimin, keep up we don't have much time." 

He stood puzzled. 

"Taehyungs a pervert and he'd get too turned on and try to make it about himself. There's no way Joon would fuck me in front of Yoongi and Hobi is just a shit driver." 

He didn't even bat an eye. "So your plan is to bribe him with sex?" 

"Can you think of a better option because I didn't see you suggesting  anything."

He grabbed the keys from their hook and shrugged, "I guess I'll be waiting in the car." 

"Joon?" You knocked lightly on his door, turning the handle before he could answer. 

He was in his own world pacing the room as if he was lost in thought. 

"Hey sweetheart." You startled him. 

"You know you can't skip this right?" He sat down onto the edge of the bed with his head in his hands nodding. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?" 

Kneeling in front of him you pulled his hands away from his face. He looked tired. 

"What if we don't win?" 

"Joon what's really going on? You never worry about things like this."

"This is our ultimate goal, everyone knows. There's so much riding on this and it's all on my shoulders as the leader." 

He began pacing again. "If we lose I'm the one who has to tell everyone it's okay, i'm the one who has to calm the fans and I'm the one who has to console the members." 

"But what if you win and you're worrying about this for nothing?" 

"Thats it though, the one thing nobody's thinking about. If we win tonight we've reached our highest goal, where do we go from there?" 

"Namjoon," you couldn't help but smile in fondness, "you think too much." 

Wrapping your arms around him you gave him a squeeze. "Shut your head off and try to live in the moment for once." 

He kissed your forehead, "I wish you could come tonight." 

"Well your car already left so you've got me until we get there."

You picked up his jacket and flung it at him. "Now let's go before you miss anything."

He went to open the passenger door but you pushed it closed. "Don't worry Jimin's got this under control. You're going to ride in the back with me and relax." 

His hand was clammy and he kept squeezing yours like morse code.

"What are you doing?" His eyes were clamped tightly shut and his lips were moving but no sound was coming out. 

"I'm practicing my speech in case we win. I'm sorry I just can't make my brain stop." 

"So if you can't shut it off…" You let go of his hand and palmed him over his pants. "We'll just have to find a way to distract it." 

He looked at the front seat towards Jimin. 

"Don't worry about him. He's going to keep his eyes on the road and make sure we get there on time."

He was growing firmer with every stroke, straining against the fabric that held him in. "Doesn't that feel better already?" 

He smiled with a nod.

"I just want you to sit back and enjoy the ride."

Sliding to your knees in the back seat you carefully undid his zipper. Gently lifting his semi hard dick out of his underwear you leaned in for a suck.

"You have the nicest cock Joon." It twitched at your flattery. 

He wrapped his hand into your hair and pushed you closer to his swollen member. You could feel him relaxing under your touch.

"Suck it for me." 

Wrapping your lips around him you embraced his shaft with your suctioned movements. Wet lips worked him in and out of your throat while your other hand burrowed around his balls squeezing them gently. Small sighs escaped him, the sound of tension leaving his body.

"What are you thinking about?" You licked the head of his cock. 

"How good your mouth feels." 

"Umm," you hummed. "If you're still thinking I'm not doing good enough." 

You sat up and leaned against your side of the door spreading your legs wide open you fully exposed yourself. 

"You're really not wearing anything under there?" 

"I wasn't planning on leaving the house." You pulled the oversize sweater you were wearing as a dress over your head.

"I was just going to stretch out on the big couch and watch you perform." You dipped your finger into yourself and his jaw dropped.

"I figured I'd be so turned on and none of you would be there to satisfy me so I'd have to take care of myself." You grinned sinfully, "Undergarments just get in the way." 

Catching Jimin watching in the rearview, you circled your clit, teasing the little bud for your audience. He shifted in his seat while adjusting his hard on, "Eyes on the road please driver." 

Namjoon reached forward, wanting to explore you like your own fingers were. "Go ahead, put in."

His index finger slid in beside yours and he slowly pumped it in and out matching your movements. "You're  so fucking sexy." 

"I want you to fuck me Joon, my pussy wants more." 

He pulled his finger out and you grabbed his hand, holding it still.

"We should tip the chauffeur, give him a little sample don't you think?" 

Namjoon was hesitant, unsure, until a soft, "please, let me taste her," came from the front seat. 

Namjoon reached around the headrest and he held his finger out. Jimin's plush lips latched on greedily sucking it clean, running his tongue around the tip for good measure. "You taste so fucking good Noona." 

Eyes totally glassed over, Namjoon was desperate for satisfaction. 

"What are you thinking about now?" You bit your lip. 

"Pounding that pussy into the car seat until you can't walk anymore." 

"Yes please." You used your legs to pull him in closer, "get over here and fuck me."

He slid into your wetness with ease, your excited pussy drenched in anticipation for his meaty cock. His body had you pressed into the leather seat while Jimin sat staring at his ass pumping furiously into you.

Catching his eye and holding contact you smiled and moaned louder. You wanted him to have to sit there, horny, counting down the minutes until he could find a release. Knowing he'd be thinking of ways to punish you for putting him through this the entire show made you even wetter.

Wrapping Namjoon tightly in your thighs you whispered, "Cum in me Joonie please, I want you dripping out of me all night." 

Ramming himself into you with a newfound energy the car shook as he shot his load deep inside you and collapsed. 

"Namjoon baby, what are you thinking about?" 

He started laughing from where he was tucked into your neck, the vibrations tickling, making you squirm under him. 

"Absolutely fucking nothing." 

With Namjoon safely delivered you turned your attention to Jimin. 

"Why aren't you getting out of the car? You're already so late."

He looked at you in the rearview mirror,  "Don't smile at me and pretend that wasn't intentional. I need a minute,  I can't exactly walk in there with a boner."

You couldn't stop laughing. "My poor Mochi. I'll tell you what, I'll make it up to you when you get home."

He pushed the door open to get out but came and leaned into your unrolled window.

"Win or lose you'll be getting something later."

Walking away he grabbed his dick and winked at you.

"You'd better be waiting up for your prize." 

#bts grammys #bts smut #namjoon smut #bts #studio sessions #jimin #mochi #rm #joon

[afictionalwhore]

Learning Your Lesson

A/N: This isn't the first fanfic I've written, but it's the first I've finished. It's on the darker side, which I have no problem writing, I don't want my blog to be only that. That Keishin kitchen one is coming I just gotta get through finals. Thank you @kogo for the idea! You mentioned it, so I took it and bolted. 

TW: noncon/dubcon, yandere, phone sex, masturbation, implied drinking

"Baby," Hawks cooed into the phone, "what's wrong?"

It was in the middle of his night patrol when you called him, the ringtone specifically set for you jingling throughout the empty streets from his jacket pocket. When he picked up, he was met with your soft sobs on the other end of the line. 

"Keigo?" Your voice barely audible. "Can you come get me? I don't want to talk about it here."

"(y/n), what's the matter," Hawks says, voice dropping an octave.

“You were right, Keigo,” you sob. “I shouldn’t have gone. I shouldn’t have gone out tonight.”

“(Y/n),” Hawks said, the seriousness in his voice chilling you more thoroughly than the night air. “What happened?” He was growing restless, pacing the same alleyway. He told you not to go out. You should have listened to him. You should always listen to him. He can only hope you learned your lesson this time. 

Since you and the Number 2 Hero began dating, Hawks had grown increasingly paranoid about your safety. If it had been anyone else, Hawks' possessiveness over you could have been seen as controlling; you told yourself that he only had your safety in mind. Dating a pro hero, especially such a high ranking one, came with its dangers, and your quirklessness made you an even easier target. If anything happened to you, Hawks wouldn't know what to do with himself, a fact he constantly reminded you of. 

You insisted on going out with your friends tonight. “Keigo,” you whined, stretching his name out like you were one of his teenage fans, “Please. I haven’t seen them in months.” You were just a quirkless nobody, making minimum wage and barely scraping by to make rent and survive your shitty neighborhood. Scratch the latter bit. You were just a quirkless nobody, but since your relationship with Hawks kicked off, the pro had moved you into his apartment, a much safer, much more suitable place for you, and you know longer had to worry about your safety. Except on occasions like these. Your friends, all either quirkless or with minor quirks that would be useless in protecting you should anything happen, were gathering to celebrate an engagement, and surprise surprise they invited you.

Hawks tried his best to persuade you otherwise, listing all the dangers of going out without him, or going out at all, especially when you were dressed like that. Your little skirt falling just over your ass. Anyone could drop their wallet behind you and sneak a peek up your skirt. Your shirt was much too tight; and where was your jacket? You're just showing off the goods for everyone, like you were asking for something to happen.

But you could not, would not be swayed. You missed your friends. Though you loved Hawks, “It's Keigo, baby,” he would insist, you craved your friendships, and you were overjoyed to find that they didn’t hate you for practically disappearing on them since your relationship with Hawks, "Keigo", had become serious. 

“What happened?” Hawks repeated, his impatience growing.

“It all happened so quickly,” you sobbed.

“(y/n),” Hawks quite nearly growled out. “What. Happened.” You were really testing him right now, what with interrupting his patrol, albeit his boring, uneventful patrol. How could he help you when you weren't telling him what was wrong.

"I was leaving the bar. You remember which one?" Your voice shook. Hawks held back a scoff. Of course he knew where the bar was. It was the very bar frequented by the League, nestled neatly into the roughest area of town; it's inexpensiveness appealing to your friends' cheapness more than the potential danger drove them away. He told you they couldn't be trusted.

"Well I was leaving," You must be shaking like a leaf. Hawks can hear it in your voice. "And I get this feeling, like someone's following me. So I walk faster, and I—" you cut. Soft cries filled Hawks' ears as he listened.

Hawks can feel himself growing tighter in his pants as you cry. He knows where this is heading. He told you not to go, but you didn't listen. It would be rude of you to ask them to reschedule to a date when Hawks could more easily pick you up, or even better, accompany you. You were too overjoyed when they reached out with an invitation despite your disappearance in their life. But now here you were, sobbing—god how he loved your cries—to him over the phone because some asshole had roughed you up a bit. What did you expect leaving The League of Villains' bar alone at this ungodly hour? 

As angry as he was over your stupidity, he couldn't deny how hot you sounded in your current state. His arousal was confirmed by the decent tent forming in his uniform pants. After a quick scan of the area, Hawks found a nearby alleyway to slip into. He was thankful his designated area to patrol tonight was rather unlively. Leaning against the rough bricks, Hawks found himself quickly undoing his belt, shoving his pants and boxers down just enough to free himself. 

"Go on, baby," Hawks said. It took all his self control not to let so much as a slight hitch in his voice show as he encouraged you to talk.

"Keigo, please. I don't know why I have to tell you all right now." you sobbed. "Please, just come get me."

"Baby," Hawks drawled, suppressing a moan as he languidly stroked himself up to full hardness. "I don't want you to have to relive this more than you have to. So you just tell me now, as detailed as possible. I can fill out whatever reports you would need to for you, and you won't ever have to think about this again." It was hard for you to argue with Hawks in your fragile state. “I know what’s best for you, baby bird. Tell me everything.”

So you did. You told Keigo all about the strange man who you guessed had followed you out of the bar. Who would just be lurking outside the League's bar waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting quirkless? Hawks would bet his next several paychecks just who would be doing exactly that.

You told Hawks about the rough, calloused hand over your mouth accompanied by the low voice in your ear whispering that if you so much as made a squeak, you'd be cremated on the spot. Bingo. At least he wasn't losing much in a bet against himself. Judging by the state of his hard cock in his gloved hand, he was actually winning here. 

Hawks would have just laughed at you had he not been so fucking turned on. He would have to look past that cheesy "cremation" line. How did you not know who was lurking around the sleazy bar waiting for a hot piece of meat, for you, to stumble out the bar, drunk and alone. Were you always such an idiot? How did you ever survive without him?

You told him about how you had been unceremoniously dragged into the alley next to the bar and shoved face first into the bricks of one of the bar's outer walls. Hawks' eyes fluttered shut, his mouth hung up as his head fell back against the wall he braced himself against. His fist picked up the pace, imagining your soft protests and how lovely your weak, slurred cries of "please no" would have sounded as your skirt was flipped up and panties ripped through. Knowing your attacker, a hole very well could have been burned through for easy access. He'd have to check once he got you home and asleep. 

Hawks continued pumping himself as you continued your sob fest, jerking his foreskin up and down over his angry almost purple head. God how he wished to be there, listening to your sobs, cooing at you that everything was going to be okay as he kissed your tear stained, brick scratched cheeks and stroked a finger over that pretty, abused pussy of yours.

His gloved thumb rubbing over his slit, as he pictured how badly your insides were wrecked, how that jacob's ladder would have scraped against your warm plush walls. Were you even wet? You had to be. After all, only a slut would have gone out when he told them otherwise. He could only imagine how rough the man in question was with you and your pliant body. In your drunken state, how hard could you have fought back? Not very hard, Hawks had gotten you nice and drunk quite a number of times, and that was exactly why he protested you going out in the first place. His breathing grew heavier the closer he came to his release.

"Keigo?" your feeble voice called out over the phone's speaker. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, baby. I'm okay." Hawks collected himself. Pull yourself together, man. "Are you okay? I'm just so angry." that you didn't listen to me. 

"Keigo, are you close?" Oh he was close alright. Just a few more strokes, a few more sniffles and whines from you, and he would be right there. 

“Please, Keigo. Hurry up. I’m cold and scared. Keigo, I’m so scared.” That's all he needed.

“I’m coming, baby. I’m coming.” Hawks said, praying you couldn’t hear the breathlessness in his voice. His brilliant wings puffed and gave a few strained flutters before shaking tensely as his hand stilled and streaks of hot white fell on the dirty street below him. You weren’t the most intuitive, so you’d probably attribute it to his anger.

With his lust no longer clouding his mind, a sudden worry stuck Hawks. 

"Did he cum in you?" Hawks practically growled.

"What? No. Why are you asking me this?" your confusion briefly pausing your sobs.

"Just checking to see if you need me to make a stop by the pharmacy," Hawks explained as he stuffed himself back in his pants. "I'm on my way. I just have to make a quick call, baby. I love you." He zipped himself up and fixed his belt back into place. He shook out and stretched his wings. Hawks couldn't remember ever cumming that hard. 

"No. Keigo, please don't hang up," you hiccuped.

"Baby, baby," Hawks cooed, "I gotta let the commission know that I'm taking off early. You don't think I'd just continue working after this?" A smirk worked its way onto his handsome face. He could imagine your cute face scrunched into a pout. "Do you have that little faith in me? It's the least you could let me do before I leave patrol early for you. You think you learned your lesson?"

"Um," your voice trembles, Hawks’ last statement confusing you. "I suppose." You weren’t sure what your lesson was; you just wanted Keigo to take you home.

"Good girl,” a dark smile finds his way on Hawks’ face. I'll call you right back. I promise," Hawks reassures you, the fear in your voice as you feebly protested was almost enough to make him hard again. "I'll let you hang up, okay? I love you."

"Okay," you sniff, "I love you too." 

Hawks hears the light click signaling that you hung up and glances down at his phone for confirmation before quickly dialing another number, his smile growing darker as he waited out the ringing. After about three rings, Hawks broke out in a full smile, his crazed golden eyes gleaming in the moonlight of the alleyway he had hidden himself into. 

“What you do want now, ya fucking pigeon?” a rough, gravely voice answered.

“Thanks, Touya. I really owe you one.”

#hawks #hawks x reader #hawks solo #implied touya x reader #noncon/dubcon #hawks is an asshole #yandere hawks

[cloverfics]

dance with me ; tōru oikawa

warnings this is probably the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written, established relationship, mentions of tanaka x kiyoko, as well as bokuto x akaashi, mentions of weddings, and oikawa being annoying with nicknames

genre fluff

word count 1.3k

inspiration honestly, dance with me by beabadoobee ( such a pretty song )

synopsis oikawa hates when you overwork yourself, so he suggests dancing to get you away from your desk

author’s note first and foremost, happy new year everyone! i hope you’re all doing well and i wish you well ! sorry i didn’t post anything directly on, i’ve just been enjoying my time but i’m back. and i must say, i really did enjoy writing this one so i hope you guys like it too 🥺

also! i noticed there’s almost 500 of you guys and i just wanted to say thank you. i’ve had this blog for almost two years now and i’m grateful for all of you that followed. i went through a major change last year and i wonder if you any of you stayed nontheless, if not, i’m still thankful. i know i’m not very consistent and i think that’s okay, i’m trying my best to write what i think is worthy of being shown to you guys, i hope you don’t mind. i’ll still try better this year and i hope you’ll stay to watch me grow ! again, happy new year !

love, cloverfics ☘︎︎

Saying your perception of being an adult has changed over the years would be an understatement. How you went from dreaming about living on your own and having a job to wishing you were still a kid and being able to run around to an extent, you would never have the answer.

Having loads of work piled onto you, bills, school, it was stressful. And you wanted nothing more than to do nothing. But you knew if you started that, your load would get larger and you'd get lost in the heaps.

So, you glued yourself down to your computer chair and forced yourself to get it over with. Luckily you found your groove in the peace and quiet of your home, no sound other than the soft alternative you've come accustomed to. No, there was just that and quiet, no voices, no Oi—

"Honey, I'm home!" The rather loud voice that made your sweet serene scratch to a stop, jolted you forward. The tiniest bit of your herbal tea landing on your laptop. You thanked the Gods it didn't land on your papers, but if Oikawa had been any louder, who knows?

Not even a moment later was his presence barging through the door of your shared office. "Did you miss me, my sweets?" You cringed at the nickname.

"Please, never refer to me like that ever again." You said, a hint of humor in your voice. You placed your cup down before turning to face him. Clad in sweats, he had just returned from where he said he'd be all day. Practice.

Oikawa slumped momentarily at the disapproval of the nickname. Obviously thinking up something, you could tell those awful gears were turning in his head.

"How about Did you miss me, my empress?" He tried in a fabricated charming tone, waltzing his way over to you and your clutter.

You giggled. "Can't you just greet me like a normal person, ever?"

"There's no fun in that, love." A gentle kiss was pressed to your lips. It was soft, sweet, and quick. No matter it made you realize how much you had missed him all this time. Even with his borderline annoying antics, you had missed him.

Being locked up in your office with boatloads of papers and assignments had kept your mind off of him. It was a shame that after that very much needed peck that you had the urge to turn back to that computer and continue to work.

"What're we up to?" Oikawa placed a hand on the top of your chair, the other on your desk, nudging at your assignments.

"The usual." You answered monotonously, averting your attention back to the screen. You heard Oikawa's scoff.

"How long?" You hummed, leaning back in your chair. Peeling your eyes to look at him once again. Unlike before, his face was contorted into something serious.

You were aware how much Oikawa hated seeing your work like this. He thought it was damaging for you and he was right. But what was there for you to do?

"Someone's worried," Your teasing tone didn't pass by Oikawa like it usually did. His eyes connected with yours, worry and concern were the only emotions you were deciphering.

"I am. ___, seriously, how long?" It nearly made you wince, how serious Oikawa was. But you couldn't judge him, he obviously had the right.

You sighed, angling your head forward again. "Just a couple hours... is all."

"And did you take any breaks?"

A weak smile etched onto your face. You placed your fingertip onto the fine china, "To make tea."

Oikawa sighed, almost like it was in disappointment. "You can't doing this to yourself. I won't let you."

A tired groan left you. Deciding it was time to be left alone with your work again, you waved Oikawa off. "There's nothing more I can do, Toru. I have work to do and I can't just put it off."

His warm hand was placed a top of yours that was about to retreat, soon locking with your own fingers. "I know, but I can't stand it. Plus! You need to take more breaks," Oikawa urged but your face proved you were indifferent.

"Here. Let's take one now. I'm about to shower but I can spare some time to sweat a bit more, if you catch my drift." The face that was indifferent soon twisted into one of disgust, even if it was half serious.

"I don't think I want to catch your drift," You narrowed your eyes at Oikawa. But when he erupted in a fit of laughter is when they softened.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, my love. I meant let's dance. But if you really had your mind set on something else..." Oikawa trailed off. You scoffed, feeling yourself become flustered as you fell for one of his traps.

"What do you mean dance?"

Oikawa chuckled, departing from behind your chair and over to the speaker that still played that lo—fi music. "What else would I mean by dancing, honey?"

You sighed. You obviously didn't have your mind set on twirling around with Oikawa as a break but it's not like you minded either. And when he played a familiar classical tune is when you knew you really didn't mind.

"Wow, you really know how to get someone out of their chair, Toru." You eased up from the confines of your desk chair, stretching and letting your bones crack.

"What can I say, I know what you like..." Oikawa mused, making his way back over you. You made a small sound of surprise when he took your hand into his own and guided you to the middle of the office. The only part that wasn't taken up by drawers, desks, or chairs. Just you and Oikawa.

Oikawa hummed as you wrapped your arms around his neck, his hands landing at your waist. "How long has it been since we danced like this?" He asked softly, chin landing on your shoulder.

"What was it? You sister's wedding—? No! Tanaka and Kiyoko's!" You both laughed in harmony as you reminisced on that day.

"What a pretty ceremony." You continued.

Oikawa followed, "We should've caught that bouquet but Bokuto just had to have it." He grumbled, you could tell some of his envy was true. You smiled remembering how upset he was when Bokuto lunged in front for him and Akaashi.

"It was sweet though. I can't wait for those two to get married." There was a window of silence after you said those words. You could those gears were turning in Oikawa's head again, but your own were going too.

"What about ours?" Oikawa whispered. Rather than being taken by surprise, you smiled wider. It was like he was reading your mind. You always wondered if Oikawa had gotten the bouquet that day would you guys be planning your wedding at this very second.

You leaned your head back a bit, signaling for Oikawa to lift his. Your gazes collided, "Whenever you want to start planning, just say the word."

Your answer seemed to have caught Oikawa off guard, seeing as he stopped swaying. "Really?" There was a specific twinkle in his eyes, and did you adore it.

"Yes, really—" Your confirmation was cut off by an excited pair of lips. You giggled against them, pleased to see that Oikawa was more than happy to start planning your wedding.

Oikawa pulled back, an excited expression that matched his lips on his face. "Good because I had this idea that we should—" Your mind, unfortunately, tuned out Oikawa's rambling of his plans for the future. All you could think about how the person who cared so dear for you was ready to get married to you.

There was good in becoming an adult, you supposed. You could be wed to the one who made these endless work nights all the better. Even if it was just dancing in your office.

#oikawa tooru #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa scenarios #oikawa x y/n #oikawa hcs #oikawa headcanons #seijoh #aoba johsai #haikyuu #haikyuu x black reader #haikyuu oikawa #black reader x haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #x reader #oikawa x reader

[keepitcloseandmeaning]

- Sticky Situation -

💗 Kinktober Day 1 - Mutual Masterbation 💗

Keiji Akaashi x Fem! Reader (Smut)

Word count: 2k

Summary: Your boyfriend Akaashi has been working nonstop all week leaving you pent up and heated. You decide that today you're going to release this tension, and he's going to help you do it.

Akaashi was called to the office for the fifth time this week to overlook the design of a new magazine, which meant there was little to no alone time between the both of you. Even with those two short days off, his workload would pile over so much that he often had to bring it home with him. 

To say you were sick and tired of the attention you were being denied would be an understatement. 

You wouldn't blame him or hold it against him though. Your boyfriend worked hard for his career and it paid off greatly. He was a skilled editor for a famous manga magazine. Every booklet they released was far beyond well written and illustrated, so why were you so discontent currently? 

Akaashi had done nothing wrong, and if anything, he just continued to raise the bar, so, why were you currently laying in your bed with a dull ache? Why were you face first in Akaashi's pillow guilty soaking up his scent, hoping he'd magically appear? 

Why were you imagining his big rough hands grabbing you and tearing you down, just to lift you into highs unknown? You groaned. This just wouldn't do. 

Akaashi was crammed at work. Practically running while telling people what they needed to fix and how, while somehow also trying to find time to come up with story ideas and calendars.

 His days weren't always jampacked. He had calming days where he could just sit in his office and enjoy his coffee while brainstorming. Sadly today was just not one of those days. After making his rounds of constructive criticism, he could finally sit and unwind for a second before continuing with his task at hand; writing. Literature had always been something he admired since he was a child, though currently, he wished he'd picked a different branch. Days at the office were always ruthless when a deadline was nearing, but recently things have just gotten out of hand.

As Akaashi sat his 'bestest friend' mug down, as he let out a long sigh, rubbing his temple. What he wouldn't do to just be back in his bed curled up under the blankets with you. Your head on his chest as he played with your just-woken-up locks. Maybe a few pecks here and there. A few touches, maybe bites or licks. Fingers traveling lower; teasing. Groaning, Akaashi released his head. 'How unprofessional' he'd thought to himself. He couldn't be thinking such unholy thoughts at work, he still had assignments to finish. 

Nonetheless, his brain wouldn't stop thinking about all the ways he could take you. So far it favored forgetting all about his stories and instead, ramming you against his desk. Your ass high in the air, bright and pink from his hand. Your hair in between his fingers, pulling you closer to him. Your mouth yelling out his name and some incoherent syllables he couldn't place. 

"Fuck," he said. Taking off his glasses, he let his head fall into his hands. Now's not the time, he repeated in his head. He had to calm down. He had responsibilities. Once he felt like his brain had cooled, he attempted to continue on his work. That is, until he got a call. 

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he looked at the caller ID and picture. It was you. 'What perfect timing,' he thought as he slid the answer button. "Baby," you breathily released, "baby I need you."

 Akaashi's own breath hitched, hearing your tone. Despite his shock he replied, "Ah ah ah, you know I'm in the office, we can't do this now." Across the line he could hear your heavy pants as a whine was released from his words. 

"Akaashi, baby, please, please I need you. I need you so bad right now." You had pleaded back. Akaashi didn't know what had gotten into him. Your voice was like a siren call and his hormones couldn't handle it. His navy blue slacks tightened around his groin and he quickly covered it with his non-busy hand. "Mmph now look at you. You got us both pent up. What do you want me to do about this? About you?" You released a sigh, the fingers circling your clit continuing their slow path. "Help me Akaashi, please." His dark chuckle didn't help the warmth deep in your stomach. 

Leaning back further in his office chair, Akaashi tilted his head to his shoulder, holding his phone in place. Beginning to release his belt he said, "Awe, I know you can come up with something better than that. Tell me truthfully, what would you like me to do?" You swore you could hear the smirk in his voice. He was teasing you. 

"Please Akaashi, anything. Tell me what to do, what to touch, what to say, anything please." You whined. He in return released another dark chuckle as he dragged the zipper to his pants down. "Ah that's more like it, that's my good girl. Where are your hands now?" "Th-they're on me," you replied. 

Looking down at the bulge in his briefs he rose a brow and commented back, "Baby girl if you want me to help you, you have to be more descriptive. You know the rules." Across the screen you nodded and gulped, even though you knew he wouldn't see it. You also knew that he was telling the truth. If you didn't listen to him he wouldn't oblige you in any way; he'd leave you hanging. 

"Okay I'm sorry, I'm sorry. There's o-one on my chest and the other is...is.." You didn't think you could continue. Your face was far beyond burnt by the blood rushing to it. Your heart was hammering in your ears. It wasn't like you and Akaashi had never done anything sexual before, you have. A plethora of times, but nothing like this. 

"Is where? Tell me Y/n, where is that slutty little hand of yours at?" Akaashi huskily asked across the line. A whine slipped out of your lips as your thighs clenched against your hand.

 "My clit. It's-it's on my clit," you breathed out. In return Akaashi let out a groan as his hand gently rubbed his bulge through his briefs. "Good girl. How fast are you rubbing it, hmm?" He questioned.

"S-slow. I'm going slow," you answered back a bit too quickly. Akaashi could sense your need through the line. The way your seemingly quiet breaths came out in puffs in his ear, the urgency in your voice. He had you wrapped around his finger. "Mm go faster and don't stop until I tell you to. You hear me?" A breathy moan was let out from your end, "Yes whatever you say."

You did as your boyfriend told you to, your moans steadily increasing in volume as your fingers increased in speed. Pleased with your sounds, Akaashi let a hand slip under the band of his briefs, stroking himself gently. "Ahh that's my good girl. Tell me how good it feels," he groaned out. Between one of your moans you let out, "G-good, so good Akaashi." 

Akaashi let his head fall back on his chair as his eyes closed. He imagined what you looked like, sprawled on your shared bed. Your wetness sticking to your thighs and fingers. He groaned quietly into the air as his cock throbbed at the thought. Pumping it a bit faster he uttered, "Mmm good. Finger yourself baby girl. Pretend I'm there." 

In response, your fingers traveled lower towards your hole and you couldn't stop picturing your boyfriend towering over you. His big calloused fingers circling around you until they plunged deep inside your wet cunt. 

You cried out as your fingers did just as your imagination implied. Although your fingers weren't as orgasm inducing as his, they did the job. "Oh fuck, Akaashi. God it feels so good," you vocalized. Letting his briefs fall, Akaashi fully released his cock as precum dribbled down it in small streams. He had to bite his lip in order to not let a groan out from the pleasure he was feeling and the waves of pleasure he was getting from your sounds alone.

His hand squeezed his cock as he pumped it faster, "Fuck Y/n. You make me feel so fucking good. Squeeze those pretty tits for me baby." You let your phone fall between your head and shoulder as an eager hand grabbed at one of your nipples, pinching and pulling it. A string of moans and curses left your lips as you continued to please yourself. Your mind wouldn't tear from Akaashi, wishing you had more than just his voice to work with.

To have him ramming into like you both wish he was. The veins in cock rubbing against your walls just right, pushing against that perfect spot. "Akaashi can I go faster, please? Please can you let me go faster?" You pleaded to him because holy shit were you already so close. You weren't expecting to have been so close already, but with the heat you had been carrying all day combined with your boyfriend's sultry voice, you couldn't control yourself. 

He let out a mix of both a moan and chuckle as he remarked, "Mm someone's eager today. Can my naughty girl last a bit longer at this speed, hm? Can you do that for me?" Your head rolled back on your pillow as you bit your lip. Of course he wouldn't let you, he's never been that generous. So for his sake and yours you continued with the speed you had set for yourself. Not fast enough to make you cum immediately, but not slow enough that it was no longer pleasurable. 

You wanted--no, needed more. A mix between a whine and mewl left your lips as you gripped your breast roughly. "Ak-kaashi please, please I'm so close for you," you pleaded again, hoping this time it'd do the trick. Sighing from the pressure building in his lower abdomen, Akaashi's hand began to get sloppy in the way it stroked him. "You little slut, cum for me. Move those hands as fast as they can go and cum for me," he stated roughly, his own high closing in. 

His dark command pushed you to move your hands in the way you wanted. The hand squeezing your breast traveled to your clit to help push you closer to your peak. The fingers within you curled, twisted, pumped into you as fast as you could manage. "Fuck! Fuck Akaashi ahh. God it feels so good," you slurred as pleasure continued to build quicker in you. 

Your moans rung through the speaker of his phone and into his ear. Akaashi soaked up every one of them, letting them propel him to pump his cock even faster. His hips began to meet his hand in sloppy thrusts, pushing him over. "Y/n ahhh fuck. You're such a good girl--good girl. Cum for me baby. Cum for me. Cum all over those slutty little fingers baby."

After he was sure you both had caught your breath he stated, "Prepare to get punished when I get home. The next time you pull something like this while I'm at work I won't even think about going easy on you." With that, he hung up and looked at the mess you had caused him to create. He huffed as he began cleaning up. Later that night, he was going to teach you not to interrupt him at work, and he wouldn't let up until he was sure you knew. 

Your high came in like a blast of hot summer air. Warmth wrapped around you as your fingers continued to work on your eager cunt. Your back arching and toes curling as you came on your fingers and screamed Akaashi's name. Akaashi wasn't too far behind, his hand almost crushing his cock as it spurted out his hot seed. His breath hitched as he tried to catch his breath, muttering your name and profanities as his high came toppling to a close. 

- End

A/N: Hi hi readers ! I hope you enjoyed this first kinktober entry ! I can't wait to write more for you guys!

- 💗

#💗 #keepitclose #my writing #haikyuu #keiji akaashi #akaashi keiji #akaashi keji x reader #smut #fanfic #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #kinktober 2020 #kinktober #drabble #babygirl #wow this was super long

[vanchlo]

The Partner / Chapter Fourteen, "The Ten"

Word Count: 5.9k words /  Story Masterlist /  Read The Assistant /  Read on Wattpad / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics

I wasn't sure what had brought me here. It had felt like yesterday since I'd shut this door last, even if weeks had passed since. I'd never been able to shut it on that day and I knew that I wouldn't be able to, not fully.

"Babe! Are you ready to go? We're going to be late for the meeting," a voice calls from down below. Gulping hard, my heart stays stuck in my throat at the sight before me. It hadn't been the only one this morning that was hard to swallow.

"Coming!" The upstairs guest bedroom door closes behind me. I can't help but look at it over my shoulder, still unsure of why I had come up here. "We're not going to be late, Harry! When was it that you started to become so anal about being early?"

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he doesn't attempt to hide the way his eyes roll at my remark. They finally settle on me, registering my eyebrow raise I challenge him with.

"Since you take fricken forever to get ready in the mornings, and the boss needs to be early," he tuts, nodding his head towards the front door. I hadn't noticed before how he holds it open, but now, the spring sunshine is unmistakable. "Come on already. I put our stuff in the car while you were dilly dallying upstairs. What were you doing up there anyways? It took me a few times to get your attention."

We'd long ago passed the time of saying 'thank you's for holding doors open, but habit aside, I still say it. Pulling the seatbelt across my chest, I ruminate on his question as he messes with the radio beside me. I'd become a master at being able to tell when his eyes were on me, and right now was no exception, because when I glance over at him, he's doing just that. The words hesitated on my tongue because at times I still found it hard to talk to him about her. We shared her and the grief around her. There was nobody else in this world who could know how I felt about her besides him, but the struggle persisted.

Avoiding his eyes had been my go-to when I didn't want to answer him. I did it now but it didn't serve me well, because of what I find instead. It seemed that nearly every time my eyes came upon it, it was impossible to not trace the curves of ink. It had lived on the inside of my wrist for over two weeks now and I still hadn't gotten used to it. When I thought that way, I realize I was never one to get used to things. My mother's abuse. Harry's coldness towards me in the beginning, only to be changed into sporadic softness. Then we became friends and something more, and it was hard to wrap my head around. He got hurt and I almost lost him, and it was something I still couldn't believe. It was a recurring theme in my life, especially as of late.

The permanence on my skin is interrupted by the soft edges and lines of his hand. A relief is kissed onto my skin when his fingers lace with mine, his thumb paying attention to the capital letter P in his handwriting on my skin. I don't know what does it but suddenly, I'm looking at the melancholy lifting his lips.

"I don't know but I wanted to look at her things in the nur- guest bedroom. The sonograms and clothes . . to remember that she was real and ours when . . when today I feel like I need to pretend that she wasn't," the words tumble from my lips as my throat feels tight with remembering. "I miss her."

"I miss her too," Harry says with a softness saved for times like these, which seemed to be quite often lately. It speaks louder when his lips press a kiss to the top of my hand. "But we don't have to act as if she never happened, Becks."

"I want to though. Not to act like- I'm just not ready to talk about her with people at work yet. It's almost been two months and I feel like I should be ready by now."

Repeating in and out inside of my head didn't help to steady the breaths trying to swim into my lungs. What did succeed was letting myself live in the unending sage color of his eyes, wondering what the flecks of gold would feel like if I swam in them.

"That's okay too, honey. People know not to ask and I said not to. It's more so something that you bring up yourself if you want to," he murmurs, thumbing at the escapist tear that got through my guard. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home another day? I can work from home whenever I want, you know."

"I'm sure," he had barely put a period to his words and I was insisting. His nod was fast but I could read the hesitancy in it. I tried to push it out of my mind as the car began to move, my thumb occupied by the same traces of ink on the inside of his right wrist, a P in my handwriting.

It wasn't how I thought I'd be living my life today, carrying the memory of my daughter in my heart and on the inside of my wrist, instead of in my arms in a few months.

*

I had thought at once that it was a sight for sore eyes, but now I couldn't be more sure that it wasn't. Still, I wasn't certain how I felt about it now. Seeing it had brought forth a nostalgia I yearned for, wanting to go back to a time where we were so naive and unknowing of what the future held for us. It also dug up a pain that could be unfathomable, because I knew how different things were the last time I stood outside his office door, looking in. Our happiness had been unmatched and upon realizing that, I felt my throat grow dry.

He looked more handsome than ever with the short beard he'd come to keep, one that swims into view upon turning around. I'd been caught.

"Hi, bug," Harry says, a smile making the dimples dive into his cheeks. It was small but it brought a glow to his face that I'd missed. "Are you heading out?"

Nodding was all that I could do as I stepped foot in his office. Even if it wasn't the first time today it still stung. Everything I missed was what I thought of when I stood in here. It was the framed sonogram missing beside his desktop, the space behind the guest chairs where I'd showed him the pregnancy test, and on the couch where we spelled out potential names with Scrabble tiles. That was only the beginning of what stabbed at me like knives, even if things had gotten better. It had only been two weeks since we'd started to talk and I had come to feel so much better, almost like myself again. I wasn't sure if I'd admit it but he was right. I'd come back to work too soon and it had been too much. I couldn't decide when I would tell him that I had cried in the bathroom twice today because of it all. He'd wonder when that had happened since I had been at his side all day helping him start on his new case, but I'd thought about her all throughout. I hadn't known that coming back here would stir up so many thoughts about her. How could I?

"Becks?"

"Y-Yeah, soon," I belatedly answer, grateful for his bookshelf in front of me. I know that he knows the truth, but it could seem as if I was lost in reading his titles, instead of consumed by my thoughts. No, Harry was smarter than that. He knew that I had perused his bookshelf more times than fingers I had on one hand, more than one normal person would. "You're sure it's okay that I take the car?"

"Of course. I'll just catch a ride with Myles. We still have a few things to go over anyways. We're not sure if we're sold on that one guy for the new hire or not, so we have to figure out what to do."

I couldn't find it in me to make a comment. Today had taken so much more from me than I had anticipated. I knew that there would be awkward interactions and maybe the curious looks. I didn't know that the team meeting right off the bat would let everybody stare at me to their heart's content, and let me catch them in the act.

"How was today?" his voice comes, interrupting my thoughts. I had come to welcome it, knowing how it broke up my mental web of danger. He had to have known too. "Rate it."

A title catches my eye, replacing the Pain-O-Meter we'd come to adopt since it'd happened. Plucking the book off the shelf, I flip it open to find the familiar title page and a message written in black ink. I'd have a good shot at reciting it without needing it before me even as the words came to blur before my eyes.

"Pass," I mumbled, daring the tear at my nose to fall onto the paper. Brushing it away before it can, I let the words in front of me swim through my mind yet another time.

March 2024

Harry,

I couldn't count how many times I've heard you speak of this case and all that it's taught you, even inspiring you to become a lawyer, you once said. I guess maybe I should have kept it for myself seeing as how you know next to everything about it, but maybe you won't know some of this 'never before seen' stuff. I call dibs on being the first one to borrow it from you, seeing as how it's a new release. I hope that one day we can bring justice and right a wrong like seen in this landmark case. Book aside, I couldn't ever find the words to tell you how grateful I am for you and even though it hasn't been a month yet, how much I love you, Harry. If there's a God, I'll be thanking them forever for bringing me back to you and to your firm to work beside you, and to fall in love with you all over again. I can't wait to hear you talk so passionately about this case and all of the others you look up to when we have our nightly goodnight call. I'll try not to fall asleep the next time.

Love,

Your Becks xo

"Becks?" There had been a time when I'd hated that name and how he'd mistreated it. It wasn't long after that I'd missed it deeply and wished to hear it despite being scared to. "There's no passes."

"Since when? Why can't I just for one time not have to rate my pain, Harry," I almost retort, my chest heaving when I turn to face him. His face remains stoic, that is if you were anybody but the few people who could read his face right now. The shock is clear as day and brings my hands to my mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to explode on you."

"It's okay," he assures me, stepping forward. His hand on my wrist is ginger and reassuring. "What one have you got there? Ah, the good old Glensheen murder. One of my favorite cases."

There hadn't been many times anymore that I couldn't unravel the emotions hiding on his face. Except for now, he locked it up good as he thumbed at the page, nostalgia lifting his lips into his cheeks. It made the sting louder inside of me as his mouth relaxed into its former line, a wetness clinging to his eyes.

"I'd started to think about how I'd tell our kids how I became a lawyer and it always started with this case here," unlike before, a dullness lept into the curling of his lips, a smile dipped in sour memories. "I thought of it with P, telling her how Daddy became a lawyer because of Glensheen . . but I can't do that anymore. It's too hard to think about."

A hastiness filled my actions, first with my hand on his forearm. The velvet button down he'd picked for today felt like butter beneath my fingers, but it was the only easy part about this. No, the wetness spilling onto his cheeks only made it harder and so did prying the book from his hands. It wasn't any smoother looking into his eyes as mine welled with what filled his.

"I'll rate today if you will," my gentle words came, volumes different from mine that had come before.

"Eight and a half," Harry said dryly, clearing his throat afterward. I knew how he craved a glass of water to soothe the cracks in his throat. If only it could do the same to the heart.

"That's your first eight in a week and a half," I note aloud and his acknowledgement is absent. That is unless you count his eyes falling away from mine, focused on dragging his finger along the letter on my wrist as if he could do it forever.

"What's yours?" his question is quiet, but I could hear his voice in the loudest of darks. It was what had dragged me out of my lowest of lows, afterall.

"Nine . . and a half."

It was my turn to stare at my hands and avoid the gaze of the other. I could feel his as I tried to swallow past the heart shaped ball in my throat, trying to forget how quickly his head lifted.

"You haven't had a nine in weeks, bug," Harry remarks and I don't bother to nod. What would be the point? I don't want to make it any more real than it has to be. "Becks, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When you say nine . . do you mean a ten?" his question made sense but I didn't want it to, because that would mean I'd have to come up with an answer. That wasn't something I could do.

*

Waiting was something I had done a lot of recently and what joined it was my feeling of something being amiss. I had blamed it on losing Phoebe and how it had upset my entire life, but standing here now, both rang too true. I couldn't put a finger on why I hesitated opening the door, even though I had been here just the other night. It had been Harry and I's first double date back with Asher and Skye. We had played Cards Against Humanity and sat around the old rinky dink deep fryer whilst picking our cards.

Leaving that night, my stomach was full from the pizza rolls, cheese curds, steak bites, and more that we deep fried, but that wasn't why my gut felt off. Skye had been acting weird and I couldn't put a finger on it. Sure, things had been different since losing Phoebe, but I knew it wasn't that. Tonight, I hoped it would come to light. If only I'd known now what I would later, I would have never come at all.

There was no answer when I knocked on the door, so I let myself in like usual. Our favorite chicken bacon ranch pizza Skye had promised me wafted from the oven where it cooked. After a quick glance around the open apartment, I find that I'm alone. That's odd, I think to myself, remembering running into Asher in the parking garage on my way from leaving work today. Their cars were parked out front and Skye's purse and keys are scattered across the island. Just like the old times, I muse silently as I begin to toe off my shoes until I stop.

Loud voices carry from down the hallway and immediately I recognize them as the two blondes I'm looking for. Removing my shoes is forgotten as I inch my way into the apartment, trying to listen. Normally, I'd feel guilty eavesdropping and so I don't often do it, but that went out the window when I heard my name. It sounds like they're fighting, but what about? Does it have something to do with me? Why would it? The questions bloom behind my eyes as the sound of their arguing grows when I come closer.

Stopping outside my old bedroom door, I felt more than uncomfortable, but it only grew as I waited. It had been weird at first finding out that Asher and Skye moved into my old bedroom, but knowing that it was the biggest, it made sense. Something inside of me tells me to stop and that I shouldn't be stepping into such a private moment of theirs. If it were the other way around I wouldn't want somebody to eavesdrop on me and Harry talking, and least of all a fight. But I can't stop after I hear my name for a second time.

"Skye, you have to tell Becky. You can't wait any longer."

"Don't you think I know that, Ash? I've been trying to think of how to say it, but for the life of me I can't," my best friend sighs. A whining sound follows her words, presumably after she plopped down onto the mattress. But when it comes a second time, I realize it's drawn from her lips.

"It'll be easier the sooner you tell her, babe. You know that." An unmistakable sigh whooshes from my best friend's lips on the other side of the door. "It can't wait any longer. Maybe you should tell her tonight."

"No! She just went back to work earlier this week and Harry said that she's doing better. I don't want to ruin any of that by telling her."

"She'll understand, Skye, and I know how much you want to tell her, to share this happiness with her. It was all I could do the other night to not talk about it, because I'm excited too," Asher admits with exasperation. Another sound tells me that he's joined her to sit on the bed.

"Of course I want to tell her, but how do I tell her about . . "

I hadn't known how I had gotten here. That's stupid because, of course, I did. But sitting here now, the steering wheel of Harry's car slick with my tears, I still wish I hadn't heard what I did. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't erase it from my memory, and no amount of tears could make it better. Each breath I took sent shoots of pain through my chest as it shook with fitful sobs. The engine still ran, rumbling softly even through the steering wheel my head rested on.

I had lost track of how long I'd sat here after pulling into the driveway. I knew that he would hear the garage door if I pulled in, so I was waiting. He didn't seem to hear or see the car yet, something I was grateful for. I wasn't ready yet, but would I ever be after what I just learned? Just as much as she didn't know how to tell me, I had no idea how I could tell Harry.

The laugh track of a TV show is what I hear first upon opening the door, followed by a wisecrack from Joey on FRIENDS. My heart squeezed at the sound of Harry's subsequent giggle, and knowing how I was about to take it away. I closed the door softly as I could and still knew that he would hear it. It's instantaneous how quickly the TV is turned down and how my unrelenting crying replaces the sound.

"Becks? You're home already, love?" my favorite voice murmurs from the living room before alarm is racing in it. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

I could count the seconds before I hear his rushed footsteps coming my way, and then stopping in front of me. Harry's molasses voice rushes to say my name a few more times but he succeeds in one try to pull me into his arms. Taking my spot sitting against the front door, I melt inside of his arms.

"Baby, please. What's wrong? You're scaring the shit out of me," it was hard to make out the concern in his voice amidst the spinning of my thoughts. It was there but I knew that had things been normal inside of me, I'd be able to hear the panic and fear living in his voice. "Are you hurt?" hurrying to ask, his hands run along my body, as if checking for injuries.

His neck smells sweet with vanilla from his cologne and then woodsy all at once, a smell that used to calm me in seconds. No, not now. Inhaling, I try to focus on his voice and the feeling of his fingers in my hair, but it's more than hard. It's only after snaking my arm out from around him and my fingers into his, do I find my bearings. His chin was sandpapery against my head and although he'd wake me up with the weird feeling, I welcome it now. It's what roots me to the spot and brings me back to him.

"Becks honey, talk to me . . Don't run away from me again," sorrow leaked from his words that began to break on his lips. "Please."

"Harry," his name came out in a sob deep from inside of me. The second I'd heard those words drop from Skye's lips I had wanted him . . needed him. I had known that's the only thing that could ever make it better, but could it after I utter the words that had been spinning webs in my head? "S-Skye . . . "

"What, is Skye alright? Did something happen to her? Did-."

"Skye's pregnant, H-Harry."

*

What woke me wasn't the feeling of his fingernails dragging along my arm, raising goosebumps. It was a nightmare that I couldn't place once I'd opened my eyes, but that didn't matter because I'd woken up to one. The night before came flooding back to me, making me remember why my throat burned and my eyes stung. It was from the screams I shouted in the car where nobody could hear me, not even God who they were meant for. No, I doubted he heard me or saw the way I chased breaths between sobs.

"Morning, bug," Harry rasped in his voice dripping with extra honey.

Something unspoken hid in his words and in the way he covered my face with loud kisses. I didn't laugh or even break a smile. It was impossible after the newly awake ignorance washed away seconds after waking. I felt the hesitation in his movements, the way his chin now tucking my head to his chest moved when he was going to speak only to stop. He wanted to ask how I slept or what I dreamt about. It was the usual stuff but I knew that he was choosing his words carefully after all of the ones that were said last night.

I felt lost in my own, not knowing what to say. It was almost as bad as before when a chasm broke through our lives, carrying us away from each other. Almost but not quite. The thought made me cling to him with fear, never wanting to lose him ever again after all of the times that I had already.

"Shhh, I'm here. I-I know it's not okay right now, but it will be eventually," he cooed to me, fingers nimble and gentle where they dragged through my snarled hair.

"How, Harry? How am I going to be okay seeing her have what I want? I have to watch my best friend have a baby when- when I should be pregnant with her too. I-I . . ," no other words are possible as I begin to shake in his arms. Again.

"I know, buggie," is all that he says, speaking volumes more through his fingers drawing shapes into my back.

"How many times have they called?"

His hand pauses, frozen in a soft claw against my spine, "How'd you know? I thought you were asleep."

"I was but I know h-how they are . . She was so upset, Harry. I still feel so bad for how it happened."

"They each called about ten times already since last night between our two phones. I've gotten a few texts as well but I don't know how to answer them," he murmurs and I can only nod. His calming humming begins against my hair, some tune by The Paper Kites that he caught me listening to when I was his assistant, saying it was a favorite of his too. "Skye already said a hundred times that she understands that this is hard for you . . It's what all her texts and voicemail said."

"How can she say that she understands wh-when she's never lost a baby?" out it comes and I can't take it back, despite all of the times that I had thought it. His words of comfort begin but I'm too quick to shut them down. "But I should be happy for her and Asher," I whisper into his chest, the familiar warmth of his necklace against my cheek.

"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Becks. We don't get to choose how we feel . . However you're feeling is okay and it's understandable," Harry says, tracing circles under his t-shirt he pulled over me last night when I couldn't get dressed myself. "To be honest, I'm quite pissed at the world at the moment and somehow at them too. It doesn't make sense but feelings never do . . I had the hugest crush on you when we met and I had a girlfriend. It didn't make one bit of sense to me."

All that I can muster is a hummed acknowledgement before words find me, "You fought it and it didn't go away though. I want this to go away. I don't want to be jealous and mad but . . I don't know how I can't be. It's not fair, Harry."

Any licks of morning light is doused out by black when I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing that was the trick to keeping the tears in.

"I know, honey bug. Life is never fair, unfortunately . . but we're going to have our own family one day. It'll happen for us when we're ready again . . And if you can't do it, watching Skye become a Mum, then you don't have to. I don't want you causing yourself any more pain. You've already been through so much."

"But she's my best friend, Harry, ever since first grade."

"Then give it time, babe. Healing doesn't happen in a day . . We both know that."

"How can I heal if everyday I'm reminded of it, Harry? Sh-She's going to have a baby and I'm supposed to be there as her best friend, like we've always planned. The best friend plans the shower and is there for the birth, and her bump is going to get bigger. I-," he stops me before I carry on and eventually implode from the feeling bursting from my words.

"You can only do so much, and however much that is - big or small - is okay. Skye will understand," he insists from above, nudging his nose against my temple. "Shhh, shhh. It's going to be okay, babe. I promise."

Harry's words ghost over my face, smelling of the minty toothpaste we use. If my body wasn't shaking with waterfalls of tears, I'd try to care what time it is and why he isn't at work. Part of me wants to ignore it and that's the one I listen to, letting him rock me back and forth inside of the safety in his arms.

"Thanks for staying w-with me," I blubber against his neck, finding purchase with my hands cupping his shoulders.

"Always, my love. Thank you for doing the same. I know it seems like we keep getting hit down as soon as we get up."

"No kidding," I hiccup.

Trying to focus on the Elton John song he sings to me instead of the danger concocting inside of my head is no easy task. It was one of our favorite songs but it still couldn't stop me from thinking about how it should be Skye and me pregnant together. We'd dreamt out loud how many times since we were six that we'd be mothers together and our kids would be best friends. Now, that will never happen, I think miserably, wishing that things could be different just like I had thought for the last two months. Those thoughts spun back into how I'd have to stand by her side through it all, pretending that I wasn't insanely jealous and resentful. That sentence in itself makes me cry louder against his bare chest, because she was my best friend and how could I be so mad at her for something that was so amazing? I can't but I am.

It was the very same thing I'd said last night after the bedroom door had opened, all of our mouths agape. I'd tripped on my own feet, or their news had knocked me off them, I suppose. It had sent one of their plants onto its side and profanities from my mouth.

"Ree . . Oh my god," Skye had gasped, a hand to her mouth, of course. The face I had known for so many years, watched change over and over, had paled so that it almost matched the wall behind it. "Please. I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. I promise I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how. I-."

"I can't do this, Skye. I'm sorry but I-I can't. I don't know how to," I had muttered hastily, my wet eyes already painting my face only moments before hers.

It was only seconds later that Asher had exclaimed my name for there to be no response. Moments before slamming the door, I heard him call after Skye whose footsteps trailed behind me.

"Ree, please! I'm sorry!" she had shouted after me, in a voice that snagged on the fresh crack in my heart.

"Skye, don't. She'll be okay, just give her time."

With a pained sob just before the door closed, I heard her choke out, "I never wanted to hurt her."

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off it, bubs? It's not healthy to keep replaying it over in your head, and I know you are," Harry's murmur comes, trying to shut the door on the memory. One that is still too fresh and new, too much like the puddle of red I sat on in this very bed that morning. We'd made our way back into our bedroom and into our old lives, thinking things were going back to normal. Little did we know. Shaking my head does little to erase the thoughts, no matter how many times I do it.

"Your head's not an Etch A Sketch, bug. Stop, baby, please," he insists, bringing a hand to my head, trying to make me stop. If only I could erase the thoughts like the old toy we played with as kids. Skye and I would fight over who used it, even if we both were terrible at it. "Please, just tell me what I can do to make it all better."

"You can't always fix it, Harry. Thank you for t-trying, but . . "

Puffing, the crack in my heart widens at the pain held in just his sigh. "I wish more than anything I could, Becks. I'm the husband, the d-dad. I should be fixing it."

"Don't. You can't a-and that's okay," I say with a voice colored with the very opposite, because it really isn't okay.

"Even though it's not . . okay."

Nodding my head quickly into him answers that then and there, as if the tears loud from my eyes didn't say that already.

"I see now why you've never rated your pain as a ten before today . . ," he didn't need to finish his thought because my mind knitted it up for him. Because I need to save it for when it could be nothing else but a ten.

"I miss her. I never even met her and I miss her so much it hurts," my voice trembles, colored with memories that had just become bearable to recall. Now, I feel as if I need to find the key to lock them back up in their box because they're too painful to think about. "I just want her back, Harry."

"I know, sweetheart. So do I," his lips brush against my temple with his words, pressing a kiss there that stays. At least I have Harry. I can get through anything with him by my side. I find it in me to take a full breath at that realization, holding onto him tighter.

*

What now, I thought silently but the words spoke volumes. Underneath me the mattress squeaked when I tried to get comfortable. Tugging at my shirt, my eyes fell to my legs clad in a fresh pair of jeans. It felt bizarre to be wearing them. I hadn't gotten dressed in four days, because I could barely get out of bed. It was too much like the last time and it scared me to no end, because I didn't want to lose everything like before.

I didn't want to get dressed today or to take a shower for the first time since I'd heard about Skye, but I did. Harry gave me time and didn't push me, but when he left for work this morning, again without me, I found it in me to do it. My body had already gotten used to the baggy feeling of Harry's oversized shirt and sweatpants. Now, it wasn't sure about these jeans or the warm black and brown Argyle sweater I'd found in his closet. Dragging a brush through my snarled hair seemed like the most work I could do all day, let alone warming up leftovers after it. This time, I hadn't lost myself completely, but I still didn't feel like me. Knowing what I did changed everything once again, and I didn't know how to do it.

Staring back at me, the meticulous plans Harry and I had made seemed impossible now. The blinking cursor nagged at me to type in the shared Google document, knowing Harry would see it. The top listed the logical need to know things and then the places we'd go, followed by the costs and smaller details. It had only been a week since we'd looked at our wedding plans together, but it had seemed much longer now. Seeing the dress decorated with lace and sewn flowers in our closet pained me, making me wonder how I'd get my best friend to do my hair and makeup now. I knew that she would come, even if I hadn't answered any of her texts or phone calls since it had happened. But how could I do it?

#harry styles #harry styles fanfics #harry styles wattpad #one direction fanfiction #harry smut

[inkedstarlight]

Bittersweet: Chapter Nine

Summary: Cassian and Nesta finally meet. Officially, this time. Let the romance commence. Notes: Read it here on AO3! Warnings: very brief/non-explicit mention of sexual assault Bittersweet Masterlist

“Earth to Nesta?”

Nesta snapped from her trance to see Emerie waving a hand in front of her face.

“You’ve been cleaning the same spot for a good ten minutes,” Emerie gestured to where Nesta was scrubbing the counter with a towel. It was squeaky clean.

Nesta let go of the towel and cleared her throat. “My bad.”

Emerie pulled out the chair on the other side of the counter and sat down. It was eleven in the evening on a Monday, and they had just closed. The only other person in Rita’s was Lucien, and he was doing dishes in the back.

“You’ve been acting weird for the past two weeks,” Emerie stated blatantly. Her stare was unwavering. “And you’ve lost at least ten pounds.”

The incidence with Tomas happened two weeks ago. Nesta was doing a pretty good job of moving on with her life all things considered. She felt like shit, but she hadn’t missed a single shift at work. That had to count for something.

But she should’ve known Emerie would notice. She was like a fucking hawk, that girl. She saw everything.

When Nesta didn’t say anything, Emerie shrugged and got up from the stool. “At least try a little harder,” she said, referring to the coworkers’ challenge to get the most tips. She shot Nesta a sad look. “Thesan is beating you. Thesan.”

Nesta mustered a laugh. Thesan wasn’t great with customers, that was common knowledge. Neither Emerie nor Nesta were people persons, but they knew how to turn it on for customers. Thesan, on the other hand, didn’t make much of an effort. It wasn’t that he was intentionally rude, the guy was just quiet in nature. In fact, he was quite a sweetheart.

Which was why it was quite entertaining to watch Thesan and Helion interact. Where Thesan was an introvert, Helion was loud as hell. Not to mention it was clear that Thesan was crushing on him. But unfortunately, Helion flirted with every living, breathing thing and was thus completely oblivious. During Nesta’s first week at Rita’s, Emerie had spilled all the tea about their coworkers. Thesan was head over heels in love with Helion, Helion had never been in a monogamous relationship, and Viviane… well, Viviane had her own little love story. A complicated one at that.

His name was Kallias. They grew up together, from scheming little kids to rebellious teenagers to young adults. Best friends since they could remember.

Because Emerie grew up in the same small town as them, she knew everything. They all went to school together. She knew that Kallias had been in love with Viviane since freshman year of high school. She knew that Viviane felt the same way, but she would never admit it thanks to the hell she was put through during her childhood. Nesta didn’t know the specifics, and she never asked.

It also didn’t help that Viviane was in a relationship with someone else. They’d been together for almost two years. Emerie thought Viviane deserved better, that he wasn’t a very good person.

Anyway, Kallias visited Rita’s nearly every weekend after his shift at the fire station to grab a drink and more importantly, see Viviane.

Nesta thought it was ridiculous. She’d told Emerie as much when she’d brought Nesta up to date on their coworkers’ lives. Why wouldn’t they just admit they loved each other and get on with it already? It was pretty fucking simple; they were just making it complicated for themselves. Emerie wholeheartedly agreed and the pair then went on an hour long rant on the idiocy of romantic relationships.

And if she was being honest, Nesta didn’t care much about these people. Sure, they were respectable but they were a temporary fixture in her life. Once she secured a job in her career field, she was going to leave them all behind.

“We should get a drink sometime. Outside of work,” Emerie clarified with a look of disgust. “I’m sick of it here.”

Nesta knew that was a lie based on the relationship Emerie had with Rita and her wife. But she didn’t say that.

“Maybe,” Nesta responded distractedly, desperate to think of an excuse. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Emerie; no, Nesta liked her coworker. She just couldn’t muster the energy to go out with friends or socialize like that. “I’m pretty busy right now though.”

Emerie narrowed her eyes and scrutinized her.

“Stop analyzing me.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Emerie sighed and receded. She hesitated before saying quietly, “Is… is this the part when I ask if you’re okay and we get all deep and explore a new level of our friendship?”

Nesta slowly met her friend’s gaze. They stared at one another for several moments.

Then, they burst out laughing.

-------------------------

The next morning, Nesta was brewing her third cup of coffee when Elain padded into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Elain yawned as a greeting. She wore bunny slippers and an oversized hoodie. Elain only had one evening class on Tuesdays, so today was her only day - save for the weekend - to sleep in.

“Hey, kiddo.”

“How long have you been up?”

Nesta glanced at the clock. It was nine-thirty. She’d woken up at six after a sleepless night of tossing and turning.

But she simply shrugged instead. “Not long.”

Nesta poured the coffee into her mug, sitting back down at the counter. She watched as Elain bustled around the kitchen, scrambling eggs and slicing fruit. The morning light spilled through the dusty kitchen sink window, bars of sunshine reflecting off the tiled floors. Iroh basked in the sunspots, his black fur glistening as his chartreuse eyes blinked closed.

Elain and Nesta hadn’t spent much time together in the past couple weeks. It was Nesta’s doing, of course. She was actively avoiding her sister and everyone else. After Elain had tried to talk to Nesta after the whole thing with Tomas, she stopped asking Nesta if she was okay. Nesta assumed that Elain realized she wasn’t going to get an answer, that there wasn't really a point in trying.

But Gods, Nesta fucking missed her. And even though she wanted nothing more than to retreat to her bedroom as she sat there in the kitchen, she didn’t move from the chair.

You need them as much as they need you, her father’s voice echoed in her head.

Guilt stabbed at her chest.

“How’re classes going?” Nesta asked quietly. Elain looked at her over her shoulder with a surprised yet pleasant smile.

“Great! I’m so grateful to be at such a great college, but…” Elain bit her lip, hesitating. “My bio lab is going to be the death of me."

“You know you’re allowed to complain, right?”

Elain just gave her a smile. “Yeah, I know. It's just, considering where I was a year ago, I couldn't be happier to finally be enrolled in such a prestigious program. Even if that means the classes are brutal."

I wish I was like you. I take everything for granted.

“And have you made any friends?”

Elain had started school at Pryth U months ago and yet Nesta had no idea if she even had friends yet.

Selfish bitch.

A fond smile broke out on Elain’s face. “Yes, I have this really great group of friends: Lucien, Ressina, and Varian. It's just the four of us, but we've gotten really close.”

Nesta asked Elain more questions before excusing herself back to her room, claiming she was going to try to write today, to which Elain squealed and wished her luck.

Nesta hadn't written since their dad died. Prior to his death, she would write nearly every day. She'd been working on a novel for years. The plot had came to her in middle school, and it just grew from there. She'd never told anyone about it. Everyone knows how fucking hard it is to get your writing published, much less get high ratings. Nesta wasn't even sure if she was going to finish it. This was the longest she'd gone without writing or editing it. And she had a feeling that she wouldn't ever go back to it.

Dread filled her stomach as she thought of that prospect. What the fuck was she doing with her life?

Nesta’s phone buzzed, and she fished it out of her back pocket.

 Incoming call from Feyre Archeron.

It kept buzzing, Nesta merely stared at her sister's name on her screen. She couldn't think of a single reason why Feyre would be calling. But she pressed "Accept" before it could go to voicemail.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

Silence.

“Uh, what’s up?” Nesta asked. She collapsed onto her unmade bed. Iroh scampered past the door and jumped on the bed with her. He didn't waste a minute curling himself around her head.

"I was calling to see… maybe, I don’t know… uh, would you want to come to dinner tonight?”

I was not expecting that. And Nesta was about 95% sure this was Elain’s doing.

“Why?”

“I want you there," Feyre told her as if it were obvious.

“Why?” Nesta asked again. She hadn't seen Feyre since Thanksgiving despite her sister living just on the outskirts of the city.

That had been weeks ago.

“It's complicated," Feyre responded quietly. She seemed to pause before finding the words. "I've been so worried about Cassian, we all have. He'd never been deployed for that long - five months. It was scary. I guess I took that out on you. I don't know why..."

She drifted off. Nesta held her breath.

"I'm sure Elain told you, but he's home now. I've been more myself since he returned, and I want you to come to dinner. I… miss you.”

She rubbed her temple. “I don’t know, Feyre.”

I don't know if I can pretend to be okay for an entire night. I don't know if you even fucking want me there or if you just feel obligated. I don't know if I can be in the same room as your douchebag boyfriend. I don't know if I can be surrounded by your friends, most of whom seem to dislike me. I don't know if I can behave like a normal fucking person.

I don't know.

“Please?” The plea was soft, quiet. It was like she was almost desperate. But for what?

Nesta looked out the window where a blue jay - their dad's favorite bird - was perched on a bare tree branch. The leaves had long ago fallen, leaving the world naked and vulnerable. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

-------------------------

Feyre embraced her with an awkward hug when Nesta and Elain walked into the house. Nesta patted her on the back lightly, uncomfortable with the physical touch. Luckily, no one else seemed incline to embrace her. Rhys actually seemed to make sure he was as far away as possible.

Elain, on the other hand, gave everyone a hug. Mor gave a laugh as she squeezed Elain back, Aurra watching them with a smile. Interestingly enough, when Elain greeted Azriel with a hug, his tanned cheeks glowed red. It was almost imperceptible, but Nesta noticed.

Feyre took a step back to assess her. Nesta could see the judgement in her sister's eyes as she took in Nesta's noticeably thinner body. Luckily, however, she wasn't given the chance to comment on it when Elain piped up, "Where's Cassian? Nesta still hasn't met him yet."

"He's running a bit late," Rhys answered, glancing down at his phone. "Should be here in about ten minutes."

Everyone began to make their way into the dining room and Nesta followed. However, she was quickly tugged to the side when Amren swooped in out of nowhere and basically dragged Nesta into the privacy of the hallway. She stopped, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at Nesta.

“Where have you been?” Amren demanded.

"What do you mean?" Nesta asked, playing dumb.

She hadn't spoken to Amren in a long time, even though they had each others' numbers. Even though Amren had repeatedly texted her, asking to get coffee or go for a walk or something else of the sorts. All of which went unanswered.

Amren rolled her eyes, and Nesta was convinced they went to the back of her head for a good minute. "Don't play dumb with me, Nesta."

“I don’t know, working?"

"Is that a question?" Amren rose a deadly brow.

Nesta huffed and mirrored Amren's angry stance. "Why are you interrogating me?"

“Because you've been radio silent for weeks. I had to ask Elain if you were still fucking alive," Amren explained. Then, she leaned in close like she didn't want anyone to hear. "I was worried about you, you bitch."

Nesta let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I've been busy. I do want to hang out, it's just that..." she trailed off.

"What? It's just that what?"

Nesta stared at the floor, unable to form words.

"Nesta, are you okay?" Amren asked, her voice softer.

Just tell her. Fucking tell her.

I was almost raped.

Just the thought was enough to make Nesta want to puke. She couldn't, it was too much and she wouldn't even be able to fucking say it and it's her fault, all her fault.

She breathed in through her nose and looked back up at Amren. She shot her the most fake smile she'd ever given. "I'm good. Seriously, I just got busy. It won't happen again."

Nesta saw the skepticism in Amren's eyes. But she conceded with a small sigh. "Well, don't do it again, okay? I seriously thought you were fucking murdered or some shit."

Nesta just nodded. Amren looked at her once more before gesturing with her chin back to the dining room. Nesta followed her.

When they rounded the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Because sitting next to Feyre was the man who had tried to break into her apartment.

“Nesta!" Feyre exclaimed, calling her over from where she sat. "This is Cassian. Cassian, this is my sister, Nesta.”

Nesta simply stared at him like a deer in headlights and he stared at her, his lips parted in surprise. He was wearing a grey sweater, his long hair hanging down, no longer in a bun like it was the last time. He tucked it behind one ear.

"Are you stalking me or something?" Nesta said incredulously.

"I could ask you the same," Cassian retorted cheekily.

Feyre looked between them, a confused expression written on her face. "Do you guys know each other or something?"

"Something like that," Nesta mumbled.

Everyone's eyes were on them as they waited for an answer.

"Well as everyone knows, I live in the same building as Nesta and Elain," Cassian explained, waving a hand to the two sisters. "The other night, I got stupid drunk with a friend. He drove me back to my place and me, drunk off my fucking ass, tried to get into their apartment thinking it was mine."

The entire room erupted into laughter, Rhys choking on his food and Azriel looking up as if reasoning with the Gods.

"So when Nesta opened the door," Cassian continued, "she nearly beat me to death with a baseball bat."

Another round of laughter.

"Overreact much?"

Everyone's eyes flew to where Nesta sat. They seemed shocked. Nesta was too.

She didn't know why she said it, why she let it bother her. He was just so fucking frustrating, even his mere presence.

Cassian stuck his tongue out at her.

Feyre interrupted, her jaw agape. "You guys are acting like children."

Nesta got quiet after that. The conversation continued, thankfully taking the attention off her. As everyone laughed and conversed, Cassian looked over at her. His smile disappeared when he met Nesta's gaze. She just stared back at him, lips in a thin line. He seemed to try to gauge her reaction carefully, but her face was blank.

And so the night went on. Nesta didn't say another word after what happened. She avoided eye contact with Cassian. Avoided conversation with everyone.

It was half past eight when they all began clearing their dishes. Mor, Aurra, Azriel, and Cassian were all gathered in the kitchen cleaning up. Feyre and Rhys had excused themselves. It was just Nesta and Elain who remained in the dining room.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Nesta leaned over to whisper to Elain.

Elain nodded. "We'll head out right after, yeah?" She must've noticed the exhaustion in Nesta's face.

Nesta agreed, excusing herself from the table.

She walked down the hallway, peeking through every door to find the bathroom. She was about to push through a door on the left that was slightly cracked open when she heard voices coming from within.

“I’m worried about him. He’s not the same.” It was Feyre.

“He never is when he comes home, Feyre," Rhys said dejectedly. "It’s happened before. Cass just needs time.”

Cass.

Nesta tiptoed closer to the door, just enough for her to listen.

“No, what he needs is to see someone!”

“I’ve tried. He doesn’t want to go.”

“Try harder, Rhys!” Feyre cried, her tone frustrated.

“We can’t just force him to go, okay?”

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing? Do you even notice how lost your own fucking brother is? Do you even care?!”

Silence.

“Rhysand, I’m sorry. Gods, I’m so sorry. I know you care. More than anyone. I just… I don’t want to lose him.”

She heard them both breathing deeply.

“C’mere,” Rhys murmured. Nesta heard Feyre's footsteps as she presumably walked toward him.

“We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Together.”

“Always, Feyre darling.”

They got quiet, probably embracing each other. Nesta crept away from their bedroom door and into the bathroom before they could find her.

------------------------------------

Elain and Nesta had just unlocked their apartment door when Nesta groaned. “Oh, shit, I forgot my wallet in the car." She fished around in her bag to make sure it wasn't in there. "I’ll be right back.”

"I'll leave the door unlocked," Elain called behind her as Nesta made her way to the elevator.

She stepped between the doors, hitting the button for the parking garage. Gods, she just wanted to go to sleep. The night had been exhausting.

After a minute or so, she was approaching her car. She unlocked her door and grabbed her wallet that was in the middle console when a pair of headlights flashed past her, a car pulling into the spot next to her.

Before panic could set in, Nesta recognized who was driver the car through the window.

Cassian.

His car turned off and he emerged from the driver's door just a moment later. He looked over where Nesta was clutching her wallet to her chest staring at him. He gave her a tight-lipped smile before turning away and walking towards the elevator. Nesta had no choice to follow.

She walked just a few feet behind him as they made their way to the elevator.

"I'm sorry," Cassian told her, his voice sincere. He cast a concerned glance her way. "For embarrassing you at dinner. And if I scared you that night."

"You didn't embarrass me," Nesta snapped at him. "You were just being annoying as hell."

His entire body seemed to relax at her insult. Cassian tried to hide his smirk but failed. "I'm glad to see you're still your normal, hotheaded self. You got me worried at dinner with your stoic behavior."

Now she really glared at him. "Don't talk like you know me. You don't."

"Oh, sweetheart," he teased. "I think we're more similar than you think."

She scoffed. "I think that hubris of yours will be your downfall."

"You know, it's quite sexy when you use literary devices to insult me," he joked.

Nesta froze.

Was he coming onto her? Chills ran down her spine when she thought of the last time a man expressed interest in her.

It's not the same, she tried to convince yourself. He's not Tomas.

Cassian must've expected a heated response to his comment because he looked surprised when Nesta simply stared straight ahead. She seemed to be in a world of her own, oblivious to everything around her. Any trace of anger was gone, replaced by a cool indifference.

Cassian's face fell. "Nesta, I didn't mean to - "

He was cut off as the elevator door dinged opened and Nesta swiftly walked out.

-------------------------------

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[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Part 17: Interruption

Ahead, there's the tall engraved wall standing alone with the words Reunion Tower as big as your head. The words are also large on the building which has metallic accents, glass windows, glass walls, and glass doors. It's somewhat reminiscent of Erik's hidden house back in Cali now that you think of it.. if it were dropped in the middle of the city and a tower were placed on top. Take away the fields of green grass and the towering trees. Maybe that's why you seemed so much more excited than he did. He was aready used to it.

Inside, the lights pop even brighter than before. There's the fat, round silver-colored column with diamond cutouts and it glows neon blue on one side, purple on another, and orange on the other. The pink neon light flowing from the ceiling bleeds into the purple lights while the adjacent white ceiling lights bleed into the blue. On top of that, there's lime green to your right. It's a panorama of color.

"Look at you, easily impressed. Smile big my nigga." When you turn, he's got his phone in the air. Again. "Stand by that column over there. That light on your skin finna look cool as shit... Aight tilt your chin down and turn three centimeters to the left. That's four, come back one. Perfect."

"Stupid. Let me see." Looking over his shoulder, you watch as he flips through the photos. "Send me the ones from before too, I wanna send them to Ava and Toni. They said show them how the dresses look."

"Sending them now."

Group by group the pictures arrive in your text thread and you save them making a note to self to send them when you reach the hotel. You'd do it now, but you're ready to go. Now that you got the photos from him, you can send them whenever you want. For now, it's time to go eat because the last thing you ate was a snack and before that you'd only eaten once. Erik's inner fatboy has reared his head a couple times since then.. though in this moment, he's calm.

"Feed me Seymour," you yell beating him to it. You pull on the arms of his slim fitting navy pinstripe suit. He's dressed smartly with his black shirt, silver jewelry, and black oxfords. Of course he had to be like you with the black to match, you hadn't missed the gesture either time.

"I'm trying." He pulls you in the direction of the hot pink lights and you take your hand back to store the phone away in your clutch before following free from his hold. The elevator this time takes you to a floor with a red, tan, and black theme. There're red flower arrangements conveniently placed and even a red lit fountain with coins at the bottom of the shallow clear water representing the wishes of passersby. Digging in your clutch, you have a few coins from the change you got on the first day in Houston when you'd bought the both of you that food. Tossing the penny, you close your eyes and wish for a raise on your job. You already have a list of upgrades to your apartment you'd make. The showerhead. A new comforter. A security camera perhaps. Maybe another lock for the door.

Erik leads you into Five Sixty, a restaurant by Wolfgang Puck, and you look around briefly at the other people sitting and eating primly at their tables, the clang of silverware mingling with the chatter. A waiter in black and white passes in front of you drawing your attention to the magnificent view through the floor to ceiling glass windows lining the walls ahead. There's the cityscape and bright lights against a dark sky. It's the same view as before but it's even better because everything is amplified against the night.

"Wait, we sitting back here?" You look between Erik and the concealed booth he stands beside in a way that communicates your discontent. You didn't get all dressed up and fine to haul your cookies to this tower and hide in the back! "This is a new dress," you lean forward to whisper with a threat in your tone. You don't care that the waiter is there averting his eyes uncomfortably. "I didn't put this on to not be seen... They gone see me.. THIS.. tonight!" You smooth the thigh-length black lace dress with sheer lace sleeves and lace cutouts in the bodice that's hugging you just right. It's the same dress that made him go gaga and now he wants to deprive others of the vision? Oh no. On your feet are the strappy black heels and you use them to turn around looking for another empty table.

"Ay, come here! You are beautiful, that's true... You fine. Still, this is more private than sitting in the middle of the restaurant. I just wanted us to have some space.. to talk." Right, 'talk'.. that's code for hanky panky. You literally just did that. Aren't you tired? "Thanks," he eyes the waiter slapping his hand and you wonder how much money he slipped into it as the guy walks away. Erik gestures to the booth for you to slide in. It's concealed by a little wall and faces the window while he sits across from you facing the restaurant that's hidden from you. It's like being in a private room. There's even a fresh red floral arrangement on the table along with lit white candles, none of which were on the other tables. This.. This was thought out ahead of time. When did he call?

"I.. guess.. it's not.. so bad," you shrug watching the subtle tension in his shoulders drop. He's relieved and you can tell by the ghost of a smirk on his lips.. light dancing in his eyes. "Plus these flowers are beautiful," you add watching him tilt his face away modestly. Watching him shift his attention to the menu, you do the same.

"Get what you want. Whatever you don't eat, just take it out."

"I know the drill." He doesn't have to tell you, you already know the routine at this point. He won't be happy until you spend a couple hundred. He's got so much money it's burning a hole in his pocket. You could think of better ways to spend it.

Still. Being pampered is not a bad thing every once in a while. It's not like you get this type of sugar daddy treatment often.

"What are we having," the waiter asks on his return looking to Erik and then you. He reveals a bottle of wine with Gaja Ca Marcanda written on the label, pouring two glasses.

"Thank God it's not Hennessy," you think aloud watching Erik's brows knit in humor.

"I should've got you some Hennessy. That's right.... Y'all niggas got Hennessy?" The waiter shakes his head and you cringe.

"Erik, stop. Don't nobody like the taste of gasoline but you." You decide to just start pointing to whatever you think is good. "Tamarind glazed baby back ribs, pork belly pot stickers, szechuan Beef Filet Au Poivre, and the tempura shrimp and crab roll."

"I'll take the roasted free range half chicken and pot stickers sound good. I'll take those too." Erik hands over his menu and you glare at him as you fork your menu over but he's not looking. He would order less than you. Doesn't matter anyway.. you'll still crush that food when it comes. "You up for another round of tame that anxiety? If so, I have something I want you to do."

"Boy I'm drinking my wine, I'm not messing with you." You take a sip and set your glass back down ignoring him as he leans forward trying to catch your eye. "Mm-mm, nope.... Move," you swipe deterring his hand from trying to touch yours. None of that smooth shit.

"I'm right here what's gone happen? Besides, you know I know how to calm you down."

Heads Will Roll plays loudly over the theme park speakers as you speedwalk away hoping no one will recognize you or point you out to their friends and family as the running joke while you search for a ride that's BBW friendly and NOT the Skycoaster.

"Erik, move... Come on stop," you push at him when he stands in your way like it's a joke.

"Why you running? Ain't like you getting shot at. Ain't no one after you, look." He kisses his teeth as you pass him. "You so embarrassed.. You won't see any of these people again."

"Yeah well anxiety doesn't necessarily run on common sense." You grab your flip flops from his hand and slip them on. He'd had you walking around barefoot like a Flinstone because he'd been too slow to catch up. He didn't get it.

"Obviously.... Come this way," he nods walking left. He turns walking backwards as you peek around him to see the bathrooms in that direction. That's an idea you can get behind, a quick bathroom break to escape the faces of the crowd until you could return to rational thinking. Too bad it smells like eight tons of gorilla ass.

"This is the women's restroom," you freeze, blocking Erik's path inside. Man it stinks. You can't stay in there. His face twists getting a whiff and he backs off quickly holding the back of his hand to his nose, pulling you with him. So much for escaping into the bathroom. Suddenly he pulls you into a cut and you speedily look around for anyone who could be seeing the two of you. It doesn't seem that anyone's paying attention. You could've sworn someone would've been looking. There's a small space behind the bathrooms just wide enough for one and a half of one of you to fit through at a time. You're pushed in first and Erik towers behind you. It seems private like no one would or should be back here, a theme park blind spot. Suddenly you have the urge to bring this to the park owners' attention. They need security cameras too.

"I feel like someone's gotten molested back here.. or something dark and unsavory," you whisper.

"Anyway." His thick arm snakes around your waist while the other cradles your head against his solid chest, his fingers massaging your scalp through your afro. Clinging to his body, you let your shoulders drop. "Relax and when I say breathe I want you to inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four then exhale slowly through through your mouth for a count of five. The goal is to breathe deeply to your abdomen. Okay?

Now breathe.

In, 2, 3, 4... Out, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Again. In, 2, 3, 4... and out, 2, 3, 4, 5.

How do you feel," he whispers and you close your eyes, your ear against his chest listening to his even heartbeat and naturally husky voice.

"I understand anxiety, Y/N... the navy will definitely do it to you. But it's unhealthy stress that takes a toll on your mind and body and that means.. health is relaxing both."

Your eyes pop open looking at the wall beside you when the hand on the back of your head lowers drops moving to your thigh and crawling under your red kimono and up into your panties. He's got a surprise coming. His finger slides slowly along your outer lips slipping between.

"Always wet," he whispers before his thick finger sinks into you and on your sharp intake of air he tells you to breathe.

"In.. 2, 3, 4," he counts as your chest continues to rise. The slick feeling of his finger rotating and pressing inside of you is all you want to focus on. "Out, 2, 3, 4, 5," he directs and you feel a second finger push in, stretching slowly and gently finding its place.

"Did I say moan?" The arm around your waist goes ghost and you feel a firm smack on your butt.

"Did I SAY moan," he repeats, his fingers still working skillfully.

"No," you moan, your voice unexpectedly meek. Another firm smack comes and then another. And another, his low chuckle so subtle it's like you've imagined it.

"You still moaning. And you breathing hard. Did I tell you to do that?" Another smack comes and you're close.

"No, Daddy," you whine. His grip comes on your asscheek tightly.

"Then why I still hear you? We controlling our breathing right now.. Aht," he brushes your hand from his half-mast bulge. You had a theory he wouldn't be so calm and quiet if the tables were flipped. "I remember when you were scared to moan now I can't stop you," he muses.

"I wasn't scared."

"Yeah you were but I made you feel good didn't I? You still came. Breathe in, 2, 3, 4.. Out, 2, nope start over. You still breathing hard."

It's his motions. His thick curled fingers plus the addition of his thumb rubbing your clit is making your breathing ragged.

"Control it this time. In, 2, 3, 4.. Out.."

You gasp. The feeling is building in your stomach and you keep inhaling in the middle of the exhale.

"I'm coming," you whisper seconds away from erupting on his fingers.

"Not if you don't breathe. Do it right and you can cum."

You whine quietly unsure if you can control it.

"You can do it, angel. Breath deeply in, 2, 3, 4. Steady through your mouth, 2, 3, 4. Good girl, cum on my fingers. Go 'head cum."

You already have and for a second you get chills, trembling, but it subsides. He releases you and your dress falls back down as you look up at him, relaxed.

"You ready to go back out?"

Erik smirks across the table having successfully triggered your memory and you send him a glare that this time he can clearly see.

"Aight so what you gotta do is go to the middle of the floor next to that table with the bl--"

Bl--? Blonde? Blowfish? Black? What is he staring at? You start to look back too but he grabs your hand shaking his head in a way that shushes you and brings more questions.

"Get down," he mouths soundlessly scooting closer to the wall and lowering his head and then you hear it. A loud bang followed by a scream, the slam of dishes, and the scoot of chairs. Frantically, you search Erik's face for clues of what's happening and his dark eyes are trained on the scene behind you as he holds his head in a particular way so not to be seen. He points to you and the table and you don't waste time getting under it. There's only enough room for one person, but now you're at an angle to see him pull a small gun from inside of his blazer. There was a pocket for it in the lining. You see him cock the gun and then it rests in his hand in wait, pointed away from you. How did he get that through airport security though?! What the hell is going on? It doesn't make sense and a thousand thoughts rush you at once.

The screaming continues but you only counted three shots through all of the chaos and noise as people scurry to escape and evacuate.

Should the two of you be running? Aren't you sitting ducks? How did Erik even bring that gun? Or did he pick it up when he got to Houston? Was that why he left you at the hotel alone? Why did he think he'd it? Does he always have a gun just on him for no reason? Was he anticipating something like this? Is he just paranoid and then something actually happened to cement the paranoia like with you in college? Should you be concerned? Who the hell is shooting in a restaurant?! Guess it wouldn't be Texas without guns. Will you really be safe here? Will Erik? It feels like forever under the table as you're cramped and folded and you have severe goosebumps, your heart pumping fast, every sound an alert. You're suddenly reminded of your phone and you pray no one calls it. The crowd seems to be gone but there's still noise. Small sounds. Shuffling, footsteps, low grunts, and zips. It's only after you don't hear anything for about five seconds that you notice Erik's foot move.

Instantly, you grab it bending your head and putting a crook in your neck to look up at him through the gap between him and the table. You shake your head when you catch his eye.

"Don't you dare," you mouth. You can feel he's about to dash off to play hero and get himself killed so you hold his leg more tightly. Just because he has military experience doesn't make it his job to confront a shooter. You refuse to let him go even when he mouths the words 'let go'. With a grip on his leg, you listen as the low sounds of footsteps retreating finally stop. Erik who has the visual doesn't look away from where his eyes have been fixed until almost a minute has passed. This time when he moves, you let him go and he walks away toward the main dining area, looking around you assume before bursting into the kitchen. "They gone," he says. You have to strain to hear but then there're two more voices. When you peak out, there's Erik with two employees who look nervous. You grab your clutch and climb from under the table on your way to stand behind Erik.

"Are you guys okay," the southern woman asks looking around as if the shooters might return. The guy with her seems too shaken to speak outside of echoing the woman here and there. "I-I called the police they should be here any minute if you all wanna wait. There's coffee back here.. tea.." She looks past Erik to the floor and when you look and see the blood smeared there, you both look away from it simultaneously. "I just don't understand," she sighs looking genuinely perplexed. "Why bring that street beef or whatever it is in here? There are families that come here." She looks disgusted and Erik looks like he's really trying to get out of here.

"We're gonna take off. We were just hiding out waiting for the shooters to leave. Safe to say the night's been ruined," Erik replies grabbing your hand and guiding you to the door. The two of you decide to take the steps, that way you have more control in case anything happens. Luckily, you don't run into anyone. "Order the car to take us back to the hotel," he says before you leave the staircase. "Let's be safe and wait here just in case."

As the uber pulls off, you see the police rolling up but you guys are already on the road.

"You aight," he asks looking to you and when you think about it, you're safe and nothing happened to you thankfully. However... he made you worry! What was going through his mind to want to confront murderers?

"Erik, what were you thinking? You were really gonna play hero? Do you realize if I hadn't stopped you from jumping out there, you could be dead? Have you even considered what that would do to me?"

"I know I must've scared you. I'm sorry for that. You absolutely right, you saved me from making a big mistake tonight and I appreciate you for that."

---

He'd seen the entire scene play out from beginning to end and was gauging the ideal time to step in and shoot the colonizing muhfukas who'd ruined the goddamn evening. He knew this hadn't been a regular shooting. Nah, this was a hit and going by the appearance of the body they'd taken.. young black man, short locs, muscular build.. He had a feeling they'd taken out the wrong guy. It was only a matter of time before they realized and he had to act before then. If only he could've followed them, he'd be lit but he couldn't abandon Y/N.

Still, she was right. If she hadn't stopped him from stepping out, he'd have killed both colonizers and there would've been three bodies. She'd have then viewed him as a killer and outside of being scarred for life, she'd have left his lying ass forever and rightfully so. If she hadn't been there at all, he'd of popped the two employees as well leaving five bodies since they'd of seen him shoot the other two. Her presence was saving lives and ain't nobody know it.

Now that he had the element of surprise and a lead, it was the perfect time to strike but he couldn't fuck it up this time. Again, his pride was on the line and now that Y/N had almost gotten involved in the bullshit, it was definitely time to get her outta there asap.

"Whoever on security tonight, they ass definitely getting fired," he deadpanned in an attempt to lighten the mood. She wasn't having it.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. You're not the police and you're not the terminator," she stated so firmly he knew not to fuck with it. He just nodded.

"You absolutely right." The rest of the ride to the hotel was relatively quiet with her laying on his chest, his fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp to calm her down. Walking through the lobby to the elevator was just as quiet until he broke the silence with a thought that'd been running though his mind since she'd scolded him. "You'd think you'd be the one to lose your composure, but it was me," he mused. "I ain't see that coming."

"I think I'm rubbing off on you," she chuckled wryly. He wanted to combat that thought, but when he really thought about it... she was. Ever since he'd gotten involved with her, he'd been crazier than usual, more prone to rookie mistakes, more emotion-driven instead of logic-driven. He barely recognized himself. This wasn't something that should happen at this juncture of his career or mission. He was fuckin up and if he continued to fuck up he wouldn't be the only one paying the price.

When they arrived in the room, he asked her to head back downstairs and buy them both food handing her a one hundred dollar bill and packing her bags in her absence. He figured take-out would be a bit of a wait time since it was dinner hours and he was right. By the time she got back, her return flight time had been changed and her bags were against the wall near the closet. She sat the plastic bag of plastic containers on the table and unpacked the items, dividing them up by which item belonged to who. She'd even brought bottled drinks. Pulling the utensils from the bag, she placed them on top of a container that held a bigass steak. He took it gently from her hand setting it on the bed next to him.

"I just got what I thought you might want," she shrugged unwrapping a straw to put in one of the drinks, handing it to him. That was when she happened to look left and see her bags packed on the wall. He stared at the bags, looking for his and not finding it before looking back to him, realization dawning on her. "We're going back tomorrow?" She was trying to keep the emotion from her voice but it had already flashed in her eyes.

"You're going back tomorrow," he clarified knowing full well she got it the first time. "But I'll follow you in a few days or so don't worry." Instant relief in her eyes, but then they got suspicious and he had to brace himself to dodge any verbal traps she'd try to set.

"I thought you were done with the responsibilities you came here for with your job. What did they even want you to do? You've been with me almost the whole time."

"It's been two days... I didn't have to report anywhere today so I dedicated it to us, but there are a couple of events I want to attend before I leave and it would be a waste if I didn't. You, however, have no more reason to be here and it seems to be getting dangerous in these streets. I want you back home for now."

"Dangerous? That was one coincident that had nothing to do with us. It's just as dangerous in Cali."

Somehow I doubt that.

"Naaah... Baby, I'd feel much better if you weren't in Houston after what I saw today. That's final. Flight's changed to 2 AM so after you eat you got a few hours to sleep and change.. bags are already packed. Go straight to my place when you get back and just wait for me. Use the car, pool, I don't give a fuck, but don't go to your apartment. I still need to check it out before you do."

"Okay, I know I'm paranoid... But you are PARANOID. Seriously? You're not coming?" She wasn't satisfied. She wanted her way, but he couldn't give it to her. "If Houston is as dangerous as you say it is then your well being is more important than some little event wouldn't you say so? So change your ticket too or we both staying here because I'm calling bullshit! What else is here? You already told me about your subs, what you got to hide?! What could possibly be keeping you here that you don't want me to see?! It gotta be wild since I've already seen you FUCK ANOTHER GIRL. WHAT IS IT ERIK?! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?"

He stared at her like she'd lost her damn mind and he was trying to figure out when she'd find it. She stared back before returning to the food on the table. When she turned back, she was calm.

"My bad. I just don't get why I gotta go," she shrugged. He blinked a few times at her quick change in demeanor and she sighed heavily.

"It's okay... You've been through a lot of emotions today..."

"Yeah but I shouldn't blow up on you. That's a YOU move. It's not like it's your fault, you just want me to be safe... I get it. I just think you should worry about yourself too."

"...I feel you," he nodded. He had to borrow a page from handling Shay and Jaliyah. "And I appreciate your concern, but Y/N you getting ya ass on that plane and that's an order."

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered grabbing her container and plasticware. She sat in the chair at the table to eat and he stood to plant a kiss on her cheek before returning to the bed. He opened his own container and used the tall plastic straw sticking from the bottled lemonade to take a drink. She was too sweet for him to keep being so damn selfish. She definitely had to go.. for now.

---

A night flight alone to Cali. All there is to do, is sleep on the plane.

Erik had carried your things to the point where the two of you had to split, then he'd handed them over to you and nodded you on. It was all very quick and you were sleepy having gotten to the airport early just in case.

The sight through the window is black and there are lights on the ground but you don't really feel like looking, you're ready to close your eyes.

The little vacation with Erik was fun and so was seeing a completely different side of him, but now it was time to get back home. Well, his home...

Wait, he'd said. For the time being, you'll have to. The question to you now however, is for who? Who knows which Erik he'll be by the time he gets back. You can never tell with him. It's because he has more moods than a mood ring. More faces than Mr. Potato Head. For all you know, he could come back with a whole other woman expecting you to be cool with it. You just don't know what you'll get with him. Wait..

"Damn." You forgot to send the pictures of you and Erik to Ava and Toni. You didn't even get to see them again before you left. Kissing your teeth, you sigh and close your eyes again. You'll do it when you get to Erik's. Suddenly your eyes pop open and a smile spreads across your lips. You have his giant beautiful home all to yourself. You can use his things, smoke his weed, jump on his bed, wear his clothes, spray his cologne, eat his food, and explore as much as you want and he can't say a thing... Yes!

This might actually be the true vacation.

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