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thesummerpetrichor · 1 year

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𝓞𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓼

Javier Peña x afab!reader

Summary: You’re a sociology student writing your final thesis, you shouldn’t care whether the new DEA attaché is an asshole, you shouldn’t be getting on his nerves every chance you get, shouldn’t be dreaming of him the way you do, and you certainly shouldn’t be bent over his desk in the middle of the night– letting him fuck you senseless.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI you will be blocked. Mentions of DEA, big girthy age gap [reader is in her early twenties Javier is in his mid 40s], petnames [sweetheart, girlie, baby, babygirl etc], smut, explicit sexual content, explicit language, daddy kink, dom!Javi, mean brat tamer! javi, sub!reader, major size kink, reader is a menace and a brat, cheek pulling, like two spanks and a slap, minor choking, degradation, name calling, fingering, semi public sex [in his office], rough sex, unprotected P in V [don't do it you’re better than them!!] let me know if I missed anything!!

Word count: 8.7k

A/N: Lotsa porn, lotsa plot. Filthier than I’d like to admit but here we are. Javier is emotionally unavailable but I don’t care. Enjoy nasties. Mwah 💗

Masterlist

My old man is a bad man, but

I can't deny the way he holds my hand

And he grabs me, he has me by my heart

He doesn't mind I have a Las Vegas past

He doesn't mind I have a L.A. crass way about me

He loves me, with every beat of his cocaine heart

You were sure you looked nothing short of unstable– the way you were smiling to yourself as you hit the ‘submit’ button on the first checkpoint of your research paper. The past few months had been absolute chaos, and you weren’t really sure what was worse; the fact that your workplace had become an HR nightmare, or the way you were enjoying every goddamn second of it.

Not long ago you’d been lucky enough to pack your bags and board a flight to Bogotá, where you were going to be writing your final sociology thesis. You’d fought tooth and nail with the department for this opportunity, and the fact that you were finally going to be there doing the work you’d always imagined– it was a dream. While you were initially a little weary of having to go through the American embassy to access records, and archives, you knew this was the best deal you were going to get, so you pushed your hesitation aside and took them up on their offer. You were obviously aware the department was going to give you hell for it– your work would be put under immeasurable scrutiny, they were going to bother you with emails all day every day, snoop around your work through their contacts at the embassy, and take any chance to fly you back. But it didn’t matter; it was going to be a dream.

Impressing the ambassador was your top priority, impressing everyone around you really was. For as long as you could remember your bright smile, hard work and sunshine attitude had only worked in your favor. If there was one thing you enjoyed, it was the great privilege of being all your professors’ favorite student. That’s how you’d even convinced them to let you travel thousands of miles away on the university’s dime in the first place.

The world of academia was hard, especially when you were starting out, everyone you dealt with wasn’t a progressive professor who valued your opinion despite your age and gender. Sometimes you needed help from the sleazy HOD, or the grumpy receptionist and neither cared about your expertise on Helmut Schoeck. It didn’t bother you, all you cared about was the quality of your work, and you were not going to let anyone get in the way of it. So, if good work and behaviour didn't get you what you wanted you just used your batting eyelashes, innocent pout and harmless bribes– the receptionist had mentioned liking strawberry shortcake nearly two years ago in passing, and that information sure as hell came in handy when you needed to get your paperwork sorted out.

Boy did that skill of yours come in handy during your time in Bogotá

No one was going to make this experience anything but splendid, you were going to get to the embassy, meet the ambassador, charm her and all her coworkers in no time, make some trusted allies and go about your research unbothered and unfazed. You were determined. It was going to be a dream.

That was until it was an absolute nightmare. The moment your plane’s wheels hit the tarmac you were slapped with wave after wave of absolute frustration. Your phone was inundated with missed calls from an unknown number, and when you called back you were promptly informed by the Ambassador’s secretary that due to spacing issues you were being relocated to the DEA offices at the far end of the embassy.

Great, nothing better than being around a bunch of cops 24/7 .

You hadn’t made it three steps off the aerobridge before two men– both of whom looked terribly out of place in their baseball hats, grabbed you by the arm and dragged you through the airport. You wouldn’t say the word ‘accosted’ was dramatic when describing the way two employees of the American embassy had apprehended you. They didn't seem much older than you were, but they sure as hell thought they ran the damn place. When you thought about elitist diplomats thinking they were doing god's work you could be sure you imagined Agent Daniel Van Ness and Agent Chris Feistl’s faces before you’d even met them.

“Ow! What the hell do you think you're doing?!” Van Ness pretty much tossed you into his suspicious, unmarked vehicle, and as if you weren’t sore from your excruciatingly long flight you were sure you were going to need some ice packs when you got to your service apartment. “Okay, let's not make a scene, as I said we were told to get you as soon as you got off that plane” Feistl started the engine with one hand, and put the other one up in mock surrender.

“Didn’t know kidnapping was part of the Ambassador's agenda in Bogotá” .

The car ride to the embassy was mostly quiet, and you took the time to enjoy the beautiful Colombian city as it came into view, clear your head and mentally plan for your stay. That was, save for the two men’s grumbling about a certain Javier Peña. “Yeah, we miss this meeting and Peña’s gonna be on our ass for the next week” You’d quickly learnt he was a little bit of a hero in the DEA world, whatever that meant– took down Escobar and all. And if you couldn’t loathe him more already he was now promoted to attaché. From what Van Ness and Feistl told you he sounded like a character– hard ass, stubborn, insolent, the list went on and on. This Javier must really be something

How bad could he really be? Probably some grumpy old guy you’d run into once in a while at the water station or fax machine. He’d pay no mind to you; some irrelevant college student. Besides, you’d win him over with your signature smile. Who knew maybe you’d even become friends? “Well Im looking forward to meeting this Javier Peña”

“No one has ever said that. I don't think his mother said that when he was poppin’ out.”

And boy were they right, Javier Peña really was something. The elevator doors opened to what would soon become a familiar sight– Javier trailing the ambassador as she tried to escape him and the DEA offices. “With all due respect, if I wanted to be a babysitter I would've taken up a job with the RIPs” She turned to face him, her back to you. “Agent Peña, I'm going to repeat myself one more time, and I really shouldn't have to, but please stop referring to them as the “RIP’’s ”. Talk about professionalism, you definitely weren’t expecting whatever the hell this was when you thought of diplomatic work.

Noonan almost unceremoniously bumped into you as she skirted away from Javier, raising her hands in absolute elation now that he had to take care of you, and couldn’t bother her any longer. “There you are, perfect! Agent Peña show her around, and please, be nice.” She all but pushed you into him, and you heard Javier helplessly and pathetically yell after her as she walked to the elevator. “I still need that clearance ambassador–”

Despite the fact that he was looking at you like he wanted to tear you apart you didn't let that distract from the absolute marvel Javier Peña was. If you didn’t know any better you’d be on your knees for the man, and you couldn’t trust that you did. With the way his hair sat messily ruffled atop his head in soft curls, falling dangerously close to his eyes, or the way his now crinkled button up from the tiring workday hugged his forearms, who could blame you? Who knew, maybe you even liked the way he looked at you?

You shot him your signature smile, and extended your hand to introduce yourself. Forget about Noonan, she’d probably retire soon anyway, it was his approval you really wanted now. With brows raised he took his time assessing you. You didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over your body, or the way he chewed on his lip as he did so. Feeling a little, or maybe very, hot under his gaze you shifted uncomfortably, still holding your hand out politely, but all you got from him besides his shameless gawking was a condescending chuckle, and he was turning away and walking back inside.

So he really was an asshole.

You stood in shock for a moment. Was this some sort of odd hazing process at the embassy? What the hell was going on? His voice zapped you out of the absolute embarrassment of an interaction you just had. “You gonna stand there all day?” God he was such a prick. You’d barely been there two minutes and you were already on Van Ness and Feist's team. You couldn’t even imagine what life would be like if he was your boss. Or could you?

Your gaze hardened at the realization. If there was one thing you were not going to do it was lust hopelessly after a man who didn't even want to give you the time of day, someone who thought he was so much better than you were. You were not going to inflate his already massive ego by crooning for his praise, no! You were not going to let him wield that kind of power over you.

You watched as he walked through the office, the man sucked the air outta the room with the way he quite literally strutted across it. Practically dragging yourself behind him you tried your best to compose yourself, you were not going to let Peña and his asshole ways ruin your stay– he was going to like you, going to give you the time of day– and if hard work and a good attitude didn’t do it, your batting lashes certainly would.

—

Swimmin' pool glimmerin', darling

White bikini off with my red nail polish

Watch me in the swimmin' pool, bright blue ripples

You sittin', sippin' on your Black Cristal, oh, yeah

In the subsequent days you surprisingly had made yourself quite at home in the embassy– after all you did spend almost all of your day there. Van Ness and Fiestl soon became great friends, and would often drop by your workstation during breaks, or to invite you out for drinks after work. Things were going rather well, there was nothing much to complain about. The people who worked at the embassy were really friendly, and many of them took a liking to you. If charming your way into everyone's good graces was still your plan it sure as hell was working.

You’d even met a certain blonde haired, blue eyed office heartthrob. While they were both certainly easy on the eyes, Agent Murphy was otherwise little like his partner, he was friendly, helpful, and generally in a good mood. Hell he even wished you ‘good morning’ when he got into work everyday. In due time you could even say Steve Murphy had become somewhat of a friend, he was quite fond of you– then again everyone in the office really was.

That is almost everyone.

Progress in the Javier department of your life had barely made moves. He was such a dick. On your second day you remember knocking on his door and politely asking if he could sign some papers that would get you some cultural records in Bogotá. You didn’t know what response you’d been expecting, but he'd essentially told you to leave him the hell alone.

You wondered if being such a bitter jerk was exhausting. “Now girlie, runalong..” And with that he shut his door. You didn't want to let it affect you, but it did. You crooned for his attention, but he was so cold and detached, and nothing seemed to get through to him. The smiles, the ‘good mornings’, the way you’d offered to drop his files at the Ambassador's on your way there, it did nothing. He only smiled at you condescendingly, and at one point even joked about how he wasn’t sure you were capable of making it to the other side of the building.

“Don't worry your head about these files, wouldn’t want you wandering around, lost, tryna find Noonan’s office.”

Not to mention how he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about your “silly little paper”, how your work was “cute” or “funny”. God, you couldn’t stand it. The way he leaned over your desk, jumbled up your resources while he carelessly looked through them. With his messy, loose tie, and his sideways smile, and warm, comforting brown eyes, and that mocking teasing tone…...

—-

My old man is a tough man, but

He got a soul as sweet as blood-red jam

And he shows me, he knows me

Every inch of my tar-black soul

“If he can’t drink it, or fuck it, he’s not interested.” When Feistl had told you that on your first day you scoffed, but it proved to be valuable, and unbelievably, true information in no time. Unintentionally Javier had condemned himself to an eternal state of perdition, you were not giving up, and this time you were going to drive him crazy.

He surely wasn’t prepared for the little menace you became in the following weeks. You only felt pride when you’d catch him looking at you– embarrassing how he couldn't keep his eyes off. You and your cute little dresses, skirts, those you didn’t initially plan to wear to the office. His glare almost burnt a hole in your back everyday at midday, hotter than the afternoon sun peaking through the blind covered windows as you sat on Van Ness’ desk, laughing at something Feistl said. If there was one thing worse than an HR violation, it was an HR violation with a girl nearly half his age.

You’d found a fancy for discovering his ticks, new ways you could push his buttons. When you weren’t calling him sir as you addressed him, or taunting him with your dopey eyes and girlish smiles you were making his life a lot less convenient.

“Where the hell is Peña” at least twice a week Stechner would all but slither into the office, talking about congress people, funding and how the DEA was raining all over his parade. As much as you hated the man, he was your trusted ally in trying times, especially when you decided breaking the office’s unspoken rule was going to be your new favorite pastime. That rule was of course, never telling anyone, especially his colleagues, where the hell Javier Peña was at any given time.

So when Bill walked up to you and leaned beside your desk you faithfully pointed to the filing room you knew Javier was quite literally hiding in. When he walked, more like stormed out with Bill you were sure he could break you in half, the way he was looking at you, but you had given up lying to yourself, you loved it. Every morning he’d come into the office and have to find other places to escape to– from Noonan and Murphy and all other accountability. But for a cop he was pretty shit at it, and you always found a way to tell where it was he'd gone to. It also helped that nearly everyone enjoyed it when Javier had to deal with the bureaucracy, it was free reality tv, and you could be sure if you didn’t know who or what he was trying to avoid, someone else in the office surely would.

You had simultaneously become a great asset to Steve Murphy, who was, more than you expected, willing and enthusiastic about getting shit done, shit that Javier’s stubbornness would only prolong, especially because he knew the mix of Peña and the CIA was anything but productive. Whether it was distracting him while he got support for their missions, or rushing to answer the phones and covering for him and making Javi deal with Noonan you were always game. Murphy was always appreciative.

“Steve’s out right now, but Javier’s in his office if you’d like to speak with him…” Steve pretty much cackled behind his desk as you handed the phone’s receiver to Peña, and watched as he exhaled heavily through his nose, using every bit of restraint he could possibly muster not to kick the two of you out of the building. He settled for flipping Murphy off instead.

As someone who wasn’t an embassy employee you pretty much had free reign over the place, and you knew it only made Javier more upset knowing he couldn’t do anything about it. You were thoroughly enjoying your time in Bogotá, you knew Javier was thinking about you, you knew how much you got on his nerves, you loved the way he’d glare at you, boss you around, get annoyed at your little antics. You craved his attention and you were finally getting it.

Though every once in a while you’d feel a little pang in your chest, at the way he’d roll his eyes at you, be his regular mean self. But you shoved that feeling aside, you did not want his approval. That would be pathetic. You just wanted a little payback.

—

He doesn't mind I have a flat broke-down life

In fact, he says he thinks it's what he might like about me

Admires me, the way I roll like a rolling stone

Javier had been avoiding you like the plague for a good two days. That was after he overheard a conversation you were having with your supervisor he wasn’t really meant to be a party to. You remember twirling the cord wire between your fingers as you updated her over the phone. “Yeah, I need to get to the congress library, they have all the copies there.” You pushed the speaker button, letting go of the receiver to sift through the piles of printed paper on your desk. “Do you have access, did the embassy get you an ID? I spoke to Noonan but she’s busy babysitting her employees.” You bit back a smile. Javier and Murphy sure were a handful.

“No, of course they didn’t. They don’t give a rat's ass” Frankly, you were exhausted from having to get or find somebody to do anything around there. Noonan was practically no help until the dean was breathing down her neck, for people who had been working in Bogotà for years very few in the embassy knew the directions to anyplace that wasn’t a bar, and everyone was far too busy kissing each other’s ass to get things done. “The DEA can go, can't they? Get one of em to take you” Before you could respond you heard the rattling of the water cooler behind you, and you caught Javier’s half shocked half annoyed expression in the reflection of the window as he scrambled for a paper napkin to wipe the water off his dress shirt.

“Hmm, I didn’t think of that…..that's a great idea”

That was on Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday were spent turning in the opposite direction anytime you approached him, sneaking past you on his way in and out, and begging Murphy to take that trip to the Congress library instead. On Thursday you were sure you won the lottery.

Both Murphy and Carillo in the same room, and better yet in the office before Javier had made his grand entrance. They stood over what looked to you like a large map, arguing about something with far too much energy at eight in the morning. You saw this as your little opening. Where the hell was Peña?

Turns out he was with the Ambassador.

—-

Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Château Marmont

Slippin' on my red dress, puttin' on my makeup

Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes

Says it feels like heaven to him

“And you’re going too?” Ambassador Noonan sat back in her chair, twirling her pencil between her fingers, looking expectantly at the irate face in front of her. You thought you’d spare Agent Peña his white lies, answering promptly in that sweet voice of yours. “Yes, Agent Murphy told me, and besides, if he's around I can access all the archives..” You shrugged your shoulders and shot her your most persuasive smile. “Government ID an’ all” . You almost felt bad for Peña, the way his friends were so quick to rat him out. But then again he’d stirred up enough petty fights over the years so that nearly everybody was quick to get their petty revenge. That jerk was planning to take his little trip to the library– with Carillio of all people, and he was going to leave you behind? Not anymore.

“Well, I don't see the problem, just take her to the goddamn library. Jesus Peña why is everything so difficult with you.” Javier shot you a glare you could only describe as deadly, but you could only giggle at his exasperation. He rose from his chair, leaning on her desk, like he was trying to seduce her into getting out of this situation. You wondered how Noonan showed so much restraint, if you were her you’d be giving into anything he said no questions asked.

“Ambassador, really, all that is below my paygrade, don't ya think?” Your mouth fell agape, and you turned to him to find he was smiling, looking directly at you. Asshole “This whole conversation is below my paygrade. You’re bothering me Peña, get to work..” and with that the two of you were practically kicked out of her office and thrown into the hall, where in the deafening silence you heard the large wooden doors slam behind you.

You were lucky there was no one else around, especially when he practically slammed you against the wall. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Tryna fuck my whole day over baby?” You had to physically fight yourself to not give into the death grip he had on your shoulders, to hold yourself up as he caged you against the corridor. “I just really need these papers, and only you can get ‘em for me ” You bat your lashes at him, and he pressed his forehead against the wall beside you in complete frustration, sighing. He knew that wasn’t true, and he knew you did as well. Any intern could have gotten them for you, but who was an intern in comparison to him?

“I won't bother you again, promise” you bit your lip and held your pinkie finger up in what Javier saw as practically an act of war. His hands moved from your shoulders to grab you by the waist as you looked up at him. Despite your smiley exterior you were all giddy on the inside, especially when he leant beside your ear and warned in his low whisper, thumbs drawing circles on your flesh.

“You're playin’ with fire baby..”

—

I'm off to the races, laces

Leather on my waist is tight, and I am fallin' down

I can see your face, is shameless, Cipriani's Basement

Love you, but I'm goin' down

As much as you wanted to bother Javier during his little snoop session with Carillo, you still had a job to do, so you shoved your brattiness aside for a few hours and got to work finding the documents you needed from the archives. You were honestly expecting a medal for your self restraint, because once you were done you waited patiently till he strutted outside after his meeting, barely holding up the heavy box with all your findings. You’d been standing there for almost two hours, and the jerk hadn’t even given you a heads up so you could sit inside.

“Finally.” He rolled his eyes, and like he was running some sort of marathon didn’t bother even helping you, speed walking across the parking lot as you stumbled and struggled behind him– attempting to keep up.

“We gotta get back, now.”

You buckled your seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway, and relaxed against your seat as you caught your breath. “Where’re we going?” He turned to you and smiled, but it was in that signature condescending way that he always did. Meanie You thought to yourself. “We are not going anywhere. You are going back to the office, and I am going to take care of something you don't need to worry about.” You didn't know whether there was any use still being offended by his patronizing attitude, he could’ve just said you were going back to the office, but that was too normal, too dignified of a response for the great, cartel busting Javier Peña

“I could come.” He laughed at your pout, as he turned to look at you, rounding the corner. “Baby, don’t ya’ think that's a little ambitious comin’ from someone who got winded carrying a box across a parking lot.” You scoffed, yes, it would've been nice to have some help. “Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to do with whatever it is you're going to do, anyway” Wanting to turn away from him you looked out the window, but that only lasted so long.

“If this lead comes through, everyone in Bogotà’s gonna want everything to do with it.” You watched as the setting sun drenched your surroundings in a golden glow, and you couldn’t look away from the way Javier’s brown eyes too turned into pools of gold as the sun caught them. His voice a low hum just a little louder than the radio he habitually played as he drove around. It took a special type of maniac to go on missions off the clock.

“Who’s it for, the lead?” He hummed, and smiled to himself as he spoke, that look on his face you couldn’t quite place– like he was just waiting for his opponent to slip up. “One of the big guys. You should meet him when we bring him in– you’d get along– he's a pain in my ass”

You turned your gaze from the opening embassy gates to meet his eyes, your own narrowed into slits as you stared him down– he was smiling, and you hated it. “Mean.” He shook his head at your irritation, and wordlessly pulled up into the driveway. “Now, you're gonna take those files, and you're gonna sit your bratty ass down, and you're gonna work on that silly paper of yours” You were halfway out the door, lifting the giant cardboard box off the floor of the car with embarrassing difficulty.

Great, there was another thing he could berate you for.

“That's a lot of instructions..” Your voice was muffled behind your paperwork, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it when he tried to boss you around.

“Well here's another– don't touch anything while I'm gone.” He laughed to himself as he caught your rolling eyes peering at him over the top of the box, that being the only part of you that was really visible to him. Waiting for you to make it to the entrance he watched as one of his colleagues, one of the many heading out for the day, took it from you, and helped you inside.

The low hum of the radio replaced the sound of your voice, an old spanish tune coming over the static as he drove out and away from the embassy.

—

God, I'm so crazy, baby

I'm sorry that I'm misbehaving

I'm your little harlot, starlet, Queen of Coney Island

Raisin' hell all over town

Sorry 'bout it

“Didn't I specifically tell you not to touch anything” You lifted your head in the direction of that familiar voice, irritated as usual, but also a little more gruff, a little more tired. For a moment you regretted annexing his office while he was away. You watched as he sauntered in and towards his desk, opposite the little workstation you’d set up on a spare table where he’d dumped his tie and blazer for when the Ambassador popped around. He propped his hands on his desk, leaning against it to meet your gaze.

God did he look good, the day had taken its toll on him, but it was only doing him favors. That soft brown hair had been ruffled out of place, and that crisp button up sat wrinkled on his back, loosely and messily tucked into his navy dress pants, sleeves haphazardly rolled up his forearms. While he looked like he worked a regular nine to five, from the little you knew about his job, an intentionally minimal amount, you were sure the unkemptness was the result of some high stakes chase, raid or whatever it was he’d set his head to doing that day.

“‘M not touching, I just needed the AC” He rolled his eyes, but his neatly hung blazer and rolled up tie caught his attention from across the room. “See.. Untouched” You shot him that smile that you knew drove him up the wall, and he shook his head, now concerned more with sorting the paperwork splayed out in front of him. “Must be real hard, highlightin’ all that paper” He pointed to your reference material. As bad as the day was, it wasn't bad enough to persuade him to stop being a jerk.

The place was a mess, and he couldn’t leave it this way till the morning, that would be a hit to his professionalism far worse than any of the shady shit he’d done over the years. He didn’t have time for your childish antics. At least for the moment. It’d been a long day and he wanted nothing more than to get it over with. Boy did he look like he needed to let off some steam, and while at first glance your actions were doing anything but helping him relax, couldn’t he see you were just begging for him to use you for exactly that?

Maybe it was because he was tired of your shit, or because he was far too preoccupied with his work at the time, or because the office was dark and quiet and cold, but the next few minutes passed in uncharacteristic silence. You gazed up once in a while to see Javier’s scrunched brows sort through an abundance of filing. He’d sigh heavily every once in a while, and you could only wonder what or who, besides you, got on his nerves that much. You were almost eager to eliminate the competition. The world drowned out in the white noise of shuffling documents and clicking pens and you were once again lost in your paper.

Every part of you really wished he wasn’t such an asshole. What had you ever done to him anyway, for him to be so cold and mean? You couldn’t pretend you had nothing to do with it, you'd egged him on beyond measure, but you’d only ever wanted him to like you. Okay maybe you thoroughly enjoyed his irritation, but you only really ever wanted his attention. Pathetic.. You thought to yourself. You pretended he wasn’t bothered by you taking over his office for a moment.

“Done yet?” You hadn’t even realized how or when Javier had crossed the room and made his way in front of you. His fingers danced on the edge of your laptop screen. You didn’t feel like answering just yet, so you typed away at your keyboard for a while longer. The silence wasn’t appreciated, and you could feel the exhaustion radiate off him like heat. You caught him fiddling with the pens on your desk, and skimming over some of your printed material from the corner of your eye, and you bit your lip to stifle your laughter when he chucked it back on your desk in what you assumed was complete disinterest. He was going to try harder to get your attention.

You weren't prepared however when he practically slammed your laptop shut, forcing you to stop ignoring him. Talk about disrupting the workplace. Groaning, you rested your chin in your palms and peered up at him through dopey eyes. A man who had been driven to the edge, that's the gaze you met. It was not going to affect you, that muted rage, that wrought iron glare. You promised yourself. But your desires were already betraying you.. you rubbed your thighs together to alleviate the ache.

“There a problem?” With a tone that set his last teeth on edge you kept up the facade, against your better judgment. It was just too much fun not to. When you looked up at him through your lashes you could almost see the slight tick in his jaw, and your mind wandered to what other ways you’d like this type of view. “Yes, in fact there is. It's 1am” He leaned forward, dangerously close, to the point you could feel the warmth of his breath fan against your lips, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. You caught the faint smell of cigarettes off his disheveled clothes, the scent of whiskey on his lips. You felt your breath hitch, but you hoped he didn't notice. How naive, that was.

“And” Your eyes darted to his mouth momentarily as you spoke, voice wavering. He raised his brows, almost to tell you not to push him any further than you already did. It was too late, however. Whatever this was had spiraled far out of your control, and he could see the way you squirmed under that commanding gaze of his. Your brain was screaming at the attention, and you had to inwardly yell at yourself to stop being so needy.

“And?” Your brows furrowed, your lips forming that signature pout when you heard him mock your tone, your voice. “I've had a long day, baby, and I wanna go home” You huffed girlishly at his ridicule, the way he liked to humiliate you by throwing your attitude back in your face with his snide imitations, his raised brow and faux sympathy. He talked like one does to a misbehaving child. In that patronizing, explanatory melody. You watched him chuckle with slitted eyes, though you were slowly turning to a puddle underneath it all.

“Go home then Mr. Peña. I'm not stopping you am I?” You watched his eyes darken, and you weren't even sure that was possible, but you didn’t have much time to think because before you knew it he was pinching your cheeks between his fingers, his other hand still holding him up on the table. You could only whine under his rough touch as its effects licked between your thighs. He laughed when you mewed at the sting.

“Oh but you are. You're just beggin’ me to stay, aren't ya’ baby?” Your soft and pathetically unconvincing ‘no’ was muffled as he squeezed your cheeks in his large hands, yanking you in his direction as you fruitlessly attempted to free yourself from his grip. Unable to help yourself you were almost crooning into his touch, your body basically begging him to rough you up. “Such a fuckin’ brat. Runnin’ your mouth all day, showin’ up in those clothes, fuckin up my schedule, acting like a whore” His soft whisper made you shiver, your skin now on fire. He spoke slowly, and every syllable made you want to drop at his feet with a vigor you could only be embarrassed of. He made you feel small, made you feel helpless under his touch.

You wanted to push back, wanted to defy his accusations.“‘m not a whore” He smiled at your whining, and if you were delusional, and you were, even hopeful, you’d say he did so endearingly. But Javier Peña didn’t care about endearments, and after the way you’d acted you’d be crazy to think he thought there was anything endearing about you. “Right baby. You're not. Gotta pay girls to act this way ‘round me. But look at you. Didn’t spare you a fuckin dime.”

He had let go of your face, and had in a moment, quickly and uncaringly dumped you on the table in front of him. You let out a soft “ow” when you felt your knees bump the wood before your legs were dangling off its edge. You were far closer to him now, and if you had felt small before you thought you were only shrinking in comparison to his domineering frame– physical, mental, everything. Your brain was mush, your body was mush, and you could only lean into his touch– benevolent or not.

In an uncharacteristically gentle gesture he patted your cheeks with the palm of his hand, lightly, as if to soothe the sore flesh, but it only made the way he pulled them mockingly far more jarring. “Know what that makes you babygirl?” He paused for a moment, knowing you couldn't answer, looking down at the way your eyes were now welling with tears at the pain, and reveling in the sight.

“Makes you a little slut”

You wanted to respond, wanted to defend yourself, but you could only settle for grabbing his dress shirt in the balls of your first. The fabric of your panties had pretty much soaked through, and you felt it cling to you uncomfortably as you shifted on the table to pull him closer. Practically begging for his touch.

He let go of your face, but he didn’t plan on being any more gentle. He knew there was nothing you could do, nothing you could say at that moment, and he took full advantage of your silence– telling you everything he’d wanted to scream in your face for the past month. It was even better now however, because as a fun bonus, for his superhuman self control, you were even pleading for him to do so. He could see it in your eyes, feel it on your hot skin, the way you subtly rolled your hips against the table to ease the pang between your thighs. He reduced you to a dumb, empty headed bimbo, with his words alone. He couldn't help but rub it in a little. “Aw baby, no words for me? Where’s that snappy mouth now?” That faux sympathy was back again

His hands rubbed up and down your sides, moving to toy with the buttons of your top as he spoke. Fiddling with them he popped the first few open, enough to expose the swell of your breasts to the cool of the air conditioned office. With lust blown eyes he trailed his thumbs along your collar bones and then down to your admittedly skimpy lingerie– you gasped when he yanked it down, practically tearing if in a swift motion. He admired you for a moment, held you in place when you squirmed against him, wrapped your legs around his waist.

You shifted on the desk, leaning your face against his torso, looking up at him, pleading with your eyes. “Like you better like this, clothes half off like a desperate slut that couldn’t even wait to get undressed.” He paused, still admiring, tracing your cheekbones with his thumbs. “Oh, and fucking quiet” he flipped you on your stomach, your legs dangling of the table when you writhed under his punishing grip– pushing your face down against the wood, bending you over it. “Whaddya think baby?”

As if he had enough of just looking you felt him flip your skirt up with his vacant hand, and yelped when his palm came down harshly on the flesh of your ass, the sting only egging on your tears of desperation. “You know what I think baby? Think I needa fuck some manners into you.” He smoothed his hands up and down your warm thighs, fingers finding the soaked fabric of your panties as you moaned and sighed above him. He knew what he did to you and he loved it. “Can pretend there's anything in that head of yours besides the thought of goin’ dumb for me”

You lifted your head to look up and behind you, you’d give anything to witness the sight you’d touched yourself to for the past month, but Javier was quick to slam you head back back to where it came from, and send your eyes rolling back into your head as he shoved your soaked panties aside and roughly pushed two fingers into your sopping cunt. "Fuck, look at this tight little pussy, can barley take my fingers." He groaned in your ear, leaning up against you as his digits fucked you at an agonisingly slow pace, just barely soothing the burn of desire building in your core. “Bad girls don’t get a view.” Light headed, you could only squeal, could only hide your face from him as he leaned over to catch a glimpse of your knitted brows and that pout.

"Y'know how messy y'are baby? Feel how this pussys cryin' for me, drippin' all over my hand?"

You kicked your legs in protest, salty tears streaming down your face and pooling at its side on the wood beneath you. He wasn’t happy when he found you pushing back against his fingers, grinding helplessly on them. For a moment you thought your wish was granted, but he was only yanking you off the desk so you could have your back flush against him, and he could get his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. Still languidly pumping his fingers in and out of your soaking pussy he turned your face to meet his, and sneered as his palm collided with the side of your cheek.

Smack

“Watch it” You wanted to be a brat, wanted to defy him, but it was all too much to handle at once. You felt fuzzy all over, and who were you kidding you were always going dumb for him. Besides, how could you even keep your mind steady, not when you felt his hard length against you. You gazed right up at him, pushed back against him, eyes rolling back into your head as you did. He only laughed. “Oh baby, think it's gonna be that easy? Think ‘m gonna let you cum jus’ like that? After you've run me up the wall?” He squeezed your breast in his palm, bending you back over the table, now more gently, extending the olive branch, giving you a chance to repent. “‘M not a needy slut like you baby, those little tricks ain't’ gonna work” Javier was an asshole, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting to ruin you. But first he wanted to have a little fun.

“Please, please, promise I'll be good.” He hummed, pretending like he was debating whether he was going to give into your pleas yet. He wasn't. He wanted to soak in the sight– you splayed out on his desk, begging him to fuck you sensless, his hands roaming your body torturously teasing you as your pussy clenched around nothing, dripping for him.

“So now ya wanna be good? Well baby I'm not buyin it yet. Gonna take a lot more convincing than that.” His fingers found your clothed cunt once again, drawing soft circles on your clit. You wailed, knuckles going white when you gripped the table edge in front of you. "Feels good doesnt' it babygirl, I know, feels so good when you finally fucking listen." You pushed back against his fingers, practically humping his hand. The tears were back, and he loved them. “Aw, poor baby, too much?” He wasn’t asking, and you knew he didn’t care what you had to say anyway. He wanted one response, and you were far too wound up not to give it to him.

“Please please please. Won't be a brat, wanna be your good girl.” He kept you waiting and distraught, fingers still rubbing you through your panties as he spoke, knowing very well you could barely concentrate when he touched you, the squelching of your wetness only drove you towards the edge. “Now babygirl, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna listen good, and do exactly what I say. Ya hear?” You nodded your head vigorously, but a smack to your ass reminded you to use your words. “Yes. promise” He laughed. “Such an easy little slut.” You heard the jingle of his belt behind you.

You shivered when you felt his cock drag against your drenched cunt, tip bumping your clit with every pass as he wet himself with your slick. Your hips moved frantically, unable to get enough of the friction, but he held you back just enough, to where you would remain unsatisfied and frustrated.“Say" I'm sorry daddy. I'm sorry for being a tease.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and the command alone was enough to send you over the edge.

“‘m sorry for being a tease daddy ”

“Say “I'm Sorry for being an easy whore””

“M’ sorry for being an easy whore” You’d never been more shy in your life, forget around Javier, who could never guess you had it in you. “That’s my good little slut.” But the way he was speaking to you, teasing, mocking, telling you what to do, what to say– you were hot all over with humiliation. You hid your face, pretty much smashing your forehead against the table, making sure no matter how far he lent he couldn't see the way you were coming undone under him.

He could probably sense it, though, especially by the way you reacted to his little praise. “That's it babygirl. Comin around now are we?” You didn't want him to have that on you, but you were lucky, in a way, because he didn’t care much to tease you anymore. He grabbed your hips harshly and with a rough thrust of his hips he was fucking you into the mahogany desk, your ribs bruising as he held you down against it. He wasn’t wasting any time, wasn’t stopping or going slow to let you adjust, he was reminding you of how tightly you’d wound him up.“So fuckin tight” his voice was a strained whisper behind you, and you made a noise you could barely recognise as your own at his words. “Hurts” you were whining again,this time at the sting, and you knew he didn’t care but you couldn’t help yourself. “Yeah baby hurts when daddy stuffs you full of his cock? My poor thing.. But you like it don't you babygirl? Like it when I stretch you open” he wasn’t wrong. The feeling of him splitting you open had turned you into a puddle, a moaning mess. “”S too big” his hands smoothed up and down your back erratically. “I know baby, I know, but you’re gonna take it aren’t you? Gonna take it how I give it to you dirty little girl?” You were, you took it how he gave it to you. “Gonna ruin this pretty lil pussy” He squeezed the flesh of your hips till you squeaked, the pain only adding to the pleasure as his hips smacked against yours.

You felt your legs shake as his cock pounded your aching pussy. “Jus’ needed daddy to fuck all that brattiness outta ya huh?” You nodded your head and he cooed at the way you melted into his touch. “Oh baby, that’s it, just like that.” Gazing up with hooded eyes you caught his reflection in the glass of his office window, half illuminated by the dim lighting– his own face scrunched up with pleasure. The sight only had you fucking back against him. You felt like jello, your heart pitter pattering at his little praise.

“My good little slut”

Wrapping his arm around you he grabbed your face roughly again, dragging you up and against his chest again.

“My slut, hear me?”

Yours, yours, yours

Your brain was a fog, and the only thing you could focus on was the way his cock was hitting that sweet spot inside you, making you clench around him as that burn built in your core– a string of incoherent “daddy’s” being the only thing you could manage to get out your mouth. “My dumb fuckin baby, my whore, squeezin’ my cock”. You repeated like a broken record; “daddy’s, daddy’s daddy’s”, the feeling of your slick running down your thighs making you go dizzy.

“Look at you, daddy’s little cumdump” your cheeks were burning, your eyes barley staying open. He pulled your face up from the desk. “Can barely look straight huh baby? Gettin all cock drunk on me.” You made out his dark eyes in the reflection. But you couldn’t bear to meet them. It didn’t matter. He was always looking at you.

“Only for you daddy”

Your release was building, like an inextinguishable fire, your pussy throbbing with need, just begging for it, and he knew it too, the way your walls quivered around him, the way you were moaning and panting, whispering soft calls of “daddy” when he held you against him. “Gonna cum babygirl? Gonna cum on my cock, bent over my desk? When ’m usin’ ya like a fuckin toy?”

Your body went lax in his arms as you came, your lips parting in a wordless cry, eyes fluttering shut. “That's it… cum for me”. You cherished that almost gentle encouragement as you came undone, tummy swarming with butterflies as you shook in his arms. He was still fucking into your sensitive pussy, pushing you further into the desk as he neared his release. You heard a strained curse behind you, before he was fucking you full of his cum in deep, hard thrusts, your legs dangled off the table as you milked his cock. Shivering at the feeling you closed your eyes, his spend leaked out of your sore pussy when he pulled out, dripping down your inner thighs obscenely. You heard his belt jingle again as he caught his breath behind you, and you felt silly for the way you missed his warmth when it was replaced by the chilled office air. He quickly shifted your panties back in place, making sure you stayed stuffed full of his cum. You winced when he smacked your pussy lightly. Raising your head you caught his reflection again, but you hid your face back against the desk almost immediately when you saw the way he admired his work in the reflection, like he could see the way he’d fucked the brattiness out of you.

With closed eyes you hummed as he turned you over and sat you on the desk. Now that you’d finally got Javier’s attention you were satisfied– all sleepy and fucked out. You wished he’d hold you, but you had to remind yourself fucking you hadn’t taken the asshole out of him. He was still Javier. Hardass DEA attaché Javier. You sat there for a while, and when you opened your eyes you saw him picking up his blazer and briefcase.

“If you're not up in 10 seconds I'm leavin’ ya here.” He was back to usual in a moment, and in your fuzzy little head you heard a well meaningness in that tone. “In those messy panties.” You pouted at his words, once again, and he watched as you hopped off the table, rubbing your eyes as you gathered your things, albeit clumsily–your knees wobbly to the point where you could see Javier’s smirk behind you as you shoved your laptop into your bag.

Turning off the table lamp he motioned with his head for you to get moving along, and you rolled your eyes at him as you walked out the door, stumbling slightly as you did. He gave you what you now recognised as that look, brows raised, and you didn’t have the energy at the moment to be combative.

Maybe you didn’t want to be.

“Come on now, runalong”

—

My old man is a thief, and

I'm gonna stay and pray with him 'til the end

But I trust in the decision of the Lord, to watch over us

Take him when He may, if He may

I'm not afraid to say that I'd die without him

Who else is gonna put up with me this way?

I need you, I breathe you, I'll never leave you!

They would rue the day I was alone, without you

You're lyin' with your gold chain on

Cigar hangin' from your lips, I said, "Hon'"

"You never looked so beautiful as you do now, my man"

And we're off to the races, places

Ready, set, the gate is down and now we're goin' in

To Las Vegas, chaos, Casino Oasis

Honey, it is time to spin

Boy, you're so crazy, baby

I love you forever, not maybe

You are my one true love

Let me know what you think please!! I’d love to hear your nasty thots. I really hope you lovelies liked it. Thank you to everyone who reblogs my work. You keep me writing! Dividers and banners by @ saradika 💗💗🐝🐝

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sysmedsaresexist · 4 days

Note

We're curious, since you apparently were anti-endo in the past Was there any specific event or conversation or experience that got you to start contemplating the idea you might have been wrong? I know you've mentioned talking to a buncha big name docs and going "okay I think I'm on the wrong side of this debate" but what got you to the point of even bringing it up with them in a genuinely open minded way? We think its an interesting topic for people who've escaped any kind of shithead mindset, not just anti-endo stuff, and so we're oft curious what pulls people out of those pits

This has been a loooonnggggg time coming.

I wish there was just one event that did it, if it was that simple I'd be putting everyone I come into contact with into that situation.

I spoke with Kymbra Clayton in early 2021 about her paper, Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness. It was on a bunch of, "proof endos exist," lists, and it didn't sit right with me. I was surprised to find that she wasn’t... quite anti endo, but she was upset that her work was being used to support them. Her paper was specifically about the shift in clinical circles from final fusion to functional multiplicity as a possible treatment goal. It sort of sent me deeper on the anti side, but it made me realize that, holy crap, I can talk to these people???

So I emailed Colin Ross later that year, desperate to prove someone else wrong, and despite numerous back and forth emails, he was completely pro endo. I never spoke about that conversation until I made my post about it... jeez, what, two weeks ago? What even is time.

But from there, I worked through other doctors, pro and anti, from both my personal, professional circles, and anyone else who would respond to inquiries about their work on whatever social media they were active on. Mostly, as therapists, they stressed the importance of understanding and kindness, regardless of personal beliefs.

I ended up helping a lot of endogenic systems learn about DID, and I realized that, wow, shocking, being nice facilitates conversation. As I got nicer, people were more willing to talk to me about their experiences. I saw how many people were really struggling and I realized that I wanted to help them more than I wanted to be right.

I got REALLY goddamn tired of hearing, "we don't have DID," and I realized I had to concede on that point. There was ZERO conversation to be had if I couldn't get my head around that. But if not DID, then what?

The more I heard, the more I shaped my own thoughts and understanding, the more I broadened my academic searches (wow, there's more terms to Google than just "DID trauma"), and the research was just overwhelming.

I wanted so badly to see the Stanford Tulpa studies fail that I actually started to enjoy the other work of the doctors involved (specifically Tanya Luhrmann, Michael Lifshitz is a little out there for me, but he sure is passionate). The more I read, the more I understood what they were hoping to accomplish and prove, and the more I saw ways that this kind of research can help people.

I don't agree with everything, but I'm still excited to see where it goes, and I realized it's okay to have mixed feelings and opinions, as long as I could be respectful about it.

I've been sneaking out endo safe content for about a year now, adding it on as the last tags. I've discussed at length about my changing beliefs. I'm shocked that no one noticed??

But I didn't actually change my stance publicly until the antis turned on me.

With this new round of antis from TikTok, they were posting stuff about DID that wasn't correct. At all. Some of it was disgustingly wrong. I tried to correct them, gave them pointers and resources to use, explained things they weren't understanding. I gave an amazing play by play of how @sophieinwonderland was going to tear their post apart, and managed to get it pretty damn close to what actually happened! That was fun.

And in return, they called me an endo and started an actual smear campaign against me.

(Hi, friendos, another reminder to get off my blogs and block me, please)

It was the straw that broke the back. I had held on the anti label specifically to be able to work within the anti community, but I was clearly not anti, these were clearly not my people, and they weren't interested in learning. Their actions and behaviour were beyond low. I wanted nothing to do with them.

But, I mean, I guess some people noticed my slow shift, because when I did reach out into the endo community just before I made my first Colin Ross post, they were quick to pull me in without question.

The acceptance and kindness that has been shown to me is... breathtaking. I can't think of a better word. The conversations that I've been having with people have been more interesting and beneficial than ever before.

Syscourse needs to involve actual conversation, and I've finally found that on the pro side.

TL;dr I wanted to prove endos wrong SO badly that I accidentally proved them right

#syscourse #pro syscourse conversation #story time with sas #anti endo #pro endo #system safe #CDDs first

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symbiotic-slime · 1 year

Text

Breakfast

Pairing: Eddie Brock/Venom/GN!Reader (AFAB)

Content: NSFW, established relationship, porn without plot, degradation, praise, oral sex (both f and m receiving), come eating, tentacle bondage, mild pet play? mostly just the use of “pet” as a pet name, monster sex

Word Count: 2.2K

Mature Audiences ONLY

"Good morning, Eddie," you said as you opened the bedroom door. You could hear the clanging in the kitchen that definitely meant him or Venom were cooking.

Eddie stood in the kitchen, facing the countertop near the wall. He looked up from the batter he was mixing. His eyes were completely white; his smile filled with too sharp teeth.

"Good morning, morsel."

You smiled as you walked over to them, pressing a kiss to their cheek. "Good morning to you too, Ven."

They purred and pulled you in for a proper kiss. It was soft and tender, their teeth gently gently grazing against your bottom lip. Their tongue slipped into your mouth, and you began to lean into it until your mind caught up with what was happening.

It was Venom piloting Eddie's body, and it felt almost wrong. Did Eddie know what was happening? Was he fine with this?

You pushed them away softly, your heads resting on their chest.

A low whine came out of their throat; making it clear that they craved closeness.

"Is Eddie awake, dear?"

"No, but he doesn't mind us using his body." They paused. "Usually."

You let out a small laugh. "I'm sure he won't mind you using his body to cook breakfast for us. I just... I don't think we shouldn't do anything intimate if I until we both know he's fine with it."

Their face lit up, eyes widening, and you immediately knew what they were planning to do.

You sighed. "Love, as much as I want to make out with you, please don't wake Eddie up so we can do it right now."

Their growl was small, cute rather than threatening. "You know us too well."

"It's the weekend, he deserves to rest." You wiggled free from their grasp. Your body still yearned for them, the kissing having done something to your libido. "Just finish making breakfast, dear. There's plenty of time for fun later."

"It's not our fault you're so irresistible, morsel," they purred. Venom turned back to the mixer. Their movements were slightly jerky, they hadn't quite mastered piloting a human body.

The thought of them piloting your body, having total control over you and keeping you still as they did whatever they wanted to you, flashed through your mind. Your cheeks burned as heat coiled in your gut.

Goddamn it, you thought to yourself. Keep it together, [Y/N].

A tendril grew from their back, reaching into the cupboard beside them to grab some spices without moving.

And of course that didn't help the thoughts.

Thoughts of their tendrils wrapping around you, caressing every curve of your body. Thoughts of them playing with you, stringing you out in ecstasy as you writhe in pleasure.

Venom must've sensed your arousal, because they turned towards you and smirked. "What's wrong, [Y/N]? Working yourself up?"

Goddamn it, their voice was going to send you over the edge. You forced yourself to steady your breathing before replying, "Shut it, darling."

They turned the element off and walked towards you. Their arms wrapped around you from behind; their fangs scraping against the sensitive skin on your neck.

"We cannot wait until Eddie is awake, morsel," they purred sensually. "We're going to have so much fun with you. Our perfect little pet."

A needy whimper left your mouth before you could stop it. Your hand flew over your mouth as you forced yourself to think of anything other than their breath on your neck, the promise in their words.

You had to put your foot down before things went farther. "Venom. We had a deal. Nothing until we know he's fine with it."

They batted their (or was it Eddie's?) eyelashes. "Why, we haven't even done anything, love," they said, feigning innocence. "We're just talking about what could happen."

"Just... let's eat breakfast and figure the rest of this from there."

They reluctantly let go of you, letting you walk over to the cabinets.

Venom was, apparently, determined to drive you to your breaking point. They stared at your ass as you walked away. "We can think of something we'd much rather be eating."

There was another flash of heat in your abdomen. "Venom!" you said exasperatedly.

You reached for the cabinet handle, pulling it open. The plates clanged as you put the down on the counter below.

"You're adorable when you're mad, darling."

"And you're a pain in the ass sometimes," you replied, your voice lacking any true malice.

They opened their mouth to reply before promptly closing it. You watched as they sat in silence for a moment before their opalescent eyes faded into Eddie's sapphire ones. Their fangs shrank, becoming normal human teeth once more.

"Good mornin', babe," Eddie said, a dopey smile on his face. He stretched, a soft crack came from his spine.

"Morning to you too, Eddie," you replied. "Sleep well?"

"Mm, very. Wish I'd been up sooner though." He winked at you.

"What?" Your face grew hot again. "Did Ven tell you about—"

"Of course, [Y/N]. It's impossible to keep secrets from each other when you share the same brain."

You ducked your head, unable to look at him. You heard his footsteps grow louder as he walked towards you, holding you in the same way Venom had earlier.

"You look so pretty when you're flustered," he purred into your ear, the stubble of his beard scraping against the side of your neck.

"I didn't realize you liked the idea of being our pet," he whispered. “Maybe we should buy you a collar next time we're out." Eddie traced his fingers over your neck, nails gently scratching the skin. "That way everyone can see that you are ours."

You couldn't take it anymore. You shoved yourself out of your chair and dragged him in for a kiss.

It was passionate, driven by an almost primal need for him. For them. You grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him deeper into the kiss. He moaned and wrapped his arms around you in response.

We broke apart, both gasping for air.

"Bedroom," he said. "Now."

Your brain was still trying to understand the command when he grabbed your shirt. He tugged it like it was a leash, leading you down the hallway into the bedroom.

"What do you want, pet?" he asked, his voice low and gravelly.

The nickname sent a wave of heat through your body. You tried to speak, but no words came out. All you could do was whine and hope they understood you.

"Aww, are you too dumb to speak?"

You stared at him, unable to form words.

Eddie grinned. "I guess we'll have to decide for you," he purred. "We want you on your knees."

This floaty feeling was filtering in, and you felt compelled to obey. You dropped to your knees instantly, staring up at him through your lashes.

"Good pet," he praised, sending a shiver down your spine. He brought his hand down to cup your face. "We want you to suck our cock. Is that okay?"

You nodded enthusiastically, eager to please them. You reached up and tugged his grey sweatpants and underwear down, freeing his hard, flushed cock.

You licked the tip, dragging your tongue across the slit. He tasted like salt and sweat. He cursed, hands clenching at his sides. You looked up at Eddie and saw his head tilted back, taking that as a sign to do what you wanted.

You licked it from root to tip, relishing in the low, primal growl he made. You took his cock into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and sucking.

"God, fuck— that feels so good, babe," he groaned, his hands grabbing fistfuls of your hair and pulling you further onto his dick.

You moaned around it, absolutely loving the feeling of being controlled. Eddie's fingers turned into dulled claws as he moaned again, his grip tightening.

You slid off of his dick, allowing yourself to breathe before taking the tip into your mouth. You wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, twisting your wrist in time with your tongue.

Eddie was so vocal, so responsive, that it was easy to find the right rhythm. Easy to figure out what he liked best.

"Oh— holy shit," he panted. "We're not gonna last if you keep doing that."

You were so painfully turned on by the fact that you were pleasing them. That you were serving them and that they were enjoying it.

You bobbed your head and sucked harder, desperate to make them come.

"Babe," he groaned. "We're gonna—"

You let out a low moan and took his whole cock into your mouth again. Your dragged your tongue along the prominent, sensitive vein and sent him over the edge.

His claws pressed against your scalp as he came, grabbing fistfuls of your hair. You moaned as he came into your mouth, leaving a salty taste on your tongue. You looked at him as you swallowed, relishing in the expression on his face.

He smiled, putting his hand under your chin and tilting your head up. "God, you did so well, pet," he murmured. "We think you deserve a treat. Would you like that?"

"Yes," you sighed, your head fuzzy.

"Get on the bed."

You rushed onto the bed, kneeling on top of the sheets. You looked him in his eyes, waiting for the next command.

Eddie paused, tilting his head as if he was listening to someone. "V wants to be the one to give it to you. Is that okay with you, sweetheart?"

You nodded enthusiastically.

Black tar slowly bubbled up from underneath his skin. Tendrils wrapped around Eddie, consuming him. They crawled over his face, his eyes whitening and teeth sharpening as Venom took over. Their tongue flicked out of their mouth, scenting the air.

"You smell absolutely divine, pet."

Venom stood in front you and gently pushed your chest to ease you onto your back with your legs dangling off the bed. They pulled you closer, purring as they did so.

Their claws traced down your sides, tearing into the fabric of your jeans. "Don't worry, morsel, we'll buy you a new pair," they as as the fabric fell off of your body, leaving you exposed.

They knelt at the end of the bed. They grabbed your legs and pulled you closer, throwing your legs over their shoulders.

Tendrils emerged from their back, snaking across your skin. They wrapped around you wrists, pinning you to the bed.

You bucked your hips towards them, desperate for any kind of friction.

"Such an eager little slut for us, aren't you?" Venom purred, their voice sending shivers down your spine.

Their tongue delved into your folds, licking from entrance to clit. It circled your clit, drawing a loud, obscene moan from you.

“Venom,” you whined.

Their tongue circled your clit once more before drawing back. They growled before plunging it inside of you.

You bit your lip to stifle a scream as their tongue writhed inside of you. They began gently thrusting into your pussy, their tongue quickly finding your sweet spot.

“Fuck, Venom,” you whimpered. “I’m gonna come.”

They brought their hand away from your side, tracing their claws gently down your stomach before finding your clit. They rubbed it in time with the thrusts of their tongue, the pleasure rocketing through your body.

You cried out as you came. Your cunt tightened around their tongue, which was still thrusting inside of you, as wetness flowed out of you and onto their face and tongue.

Venom purred as they pulled their tongue out of you. They dragged it over their face, licking your cum off of their face.

“You taste delicious, morsel,” they purred.

You panted, trying to catch your breath. You felt their tendrils loosen their grip on your wrists, allowing you to move.

You pushed yourself off of them and flopped properly onto the bed. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Venom retreat back into Eddie, leaving your human partner to come and lay down next to you.

"Was that okay, [Y/N]?" Eddie asked.

"More than okay, loves," you smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

He purred like a cat, the way he always did when Venom was still partially in control. Eddie put his arm around you, pulling you closer.

“We love you so much, darling,” he smiled.

“I love you both too,” you replied. “So much.”

We both fell into silence, your eyes fluttering closed as you laid on his chest again. He sighed happily, bringing his arm back up to hold you.

"Shouldn't we be getting up to eat breakfast before it's ice cold?" You asked.

He huffed, not moving in the slightest.

"Eddie."

"I mean, we both did just eat," he joked.

"Babe," you said, trying to keep a straight face. It wasn't very straight. "You know that's not what I meant."

"We can just make something later," he yawned. "Or go out. We're too tired to move, sweetheart."

"Fair enough.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as you relaxed into him. Their breathing lulled you to sleep, a smile still on your face.

#venom x reader #eddie brock x reader #venom #eddie brock #venom movie #venom symbiote #tw monsterfucking #monster lover #venom fanfiction #venom x y/n #eddie brock x y/n

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stevethehairington · 7 months

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okay so. overall review:

actually not as bad as i expected it to be! and not as bad as i thought it was going to turn out while i was in the trenches there lol. i still wished it focused a little more on eddie's home life/relationship with his dad and uncle AND his friends, and had way less of the romance stuff (read: none), BUT i will admit that there ended up being a lot less of the romance stuff than i initially expected and a lot less than it seemed like there would be while still in the middle of the book.

the paige stuff still made me uncomfy bc i didn't like the power dynamics there (paige had something eddie wanted desperately, and i don't like the idea that that could have had something to do with his "feelings" for her/why he engaged with them ((esp bc let's be real — he didn't seem super torn up over not getting to be with her in the end)) or that she used that to her advantage bc there was ALSO something in it for her) BUT i will say they did make it slightly less skeezy than i expected bc she was only a couple years older than him instead of like. significantly older like i expected.

i do wish there was more about eddie's friends and their fallout and reconciliation. his friends were super important to him and he just. dropped them. like that. and there was BARELY any blowback. like yeah there was a fight with ronnie, but we never actually got to see the reactions of any of the other hellfire/corroded coffin guys, and i would've liked to see that. same with the reconciliation, it felt very minimal — i would've liked to see more of how that played out too.

I LOVED EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN SECOND OF WAYNE MUNSON CONTENT, THAT MAN IS A GIFT HE IS AN ANGEL I ADORE HIM WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. IF THERE IS ONE THING THIS BOOK HAS DONE IT HAS SOLIDIFIED MY STANCE THAT WAYNE MUNSON IS THE BEST GOD DAMN CHARACTER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

as for eddie — i think the author did an alright job finding his voice. there were times where i thought she really nailed it, but there were also A LOT of times where i thought "he would never say that!!" "he would never do that!!". it wasn't very consistent, but overall it wasn't awful and there were some good parts!

the other characters we know and love that made cameos — VERY fun to see them (gareth, chrissy, jason, hopper, will, jonathan!!!) gareth was ESPECIALLY fun to see because they really embraced that feral chihuahua boy energy we love to assign to him. BUT. i am SO incredibly upset with how badly they massacred my boy tommy h (whOSE LAST NAME THEY COULDNT EVEN GET RIGHT I MEAN W H A T!?) they fucking. got his characterization SO BAD. it was awful. i am. personally offended by it (joking, mostly rhsjsi). (as a tommy lover i am. devastated tho. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT!!!)

OH ALSO — reefer rick. WHAT a fun dude. hes out here in his robe and bunny slippers drinking darjeeling tea, living it up. what a guy.

id like to give a huge FUCK YOU to principal higgins too! they made that dude a straight up MONSTER. he was unnecessarily CRUEL and some of the things he said straight up to eddies face,,,,,,, sir what the FUCK. i know the 80s was a different time but jesus fucking cHRIST was casual cruelty and bullying from grown ass ADULTS commonplace? i sure hope not.

ALSO FUCK AL MUNSON LIVES ALL MY HOMIES HATE AL MUNSON LIVES. that man was AWFUL, TRULY HONESTLY GENUINELY THE WORST. neglectful and cruel and downright AWFUL. NOT ONLY DID HE CONSISTENTLY ABANDON EDDIE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE BUT THEN HE DREW EDDIE INTO HIS SCHEMES, CONNED HIM, FUCKED UP REAL BIG, AND THEN LEFT EDDIE IN THE ASHES OF THEIR — OF HIS — HOME AS THE ONLY PERSON LEFT WITH THE COP WHO GOT SHOT AND IS LIKE SLOWLY BLEEDING OUT. TALK ABOUT FUCKING TRAUMA WHAT THE FUCK. i hope he got flayed ALIVE by charlie greene lmao it would serve him right that absolute twat waffle.

also, im gonna be real. the end of that book was actually INSANELY depressing. like, it tried to be positive because you gotta end on a positive note right? but it just fell. COMPLETELY flat. bc we all know what happens to eddie in canon. he's sitting there reenrolling in school, peacoking around about how he's GOING to finish high school and he's GOING to graduate and he's GOING to show principal higgins that he CAN do it and that he ISNT the fuckup deliquent he's convinced he is. BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DOESNT FUCKING GET THAT IN CANON. he's taking waynes advice and fully embracing who he is and he's learning to be comfortable in his own skin and to rise above all the noise of people who don't like him and think he's a freak. ONLY WE KNOW HE NEVER TRULY GETS TO DO THAT EITHER BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS IN CANON. so yeah it just ends up being a REALLY fucking BLEAK ending because all of that "positivity" is absolutely tainted. it's fucking soured. and i am once again INSANELY INFURIATED about eddies death. so fuck the duffers, again.

also, eddie munson literally never caught a fucking break. not one fucking break. his ENTIRE life was just one series of tragedies after the other and it truly just continued on that way until he fucking died. honestly, its a goddamn MIRACLE that he has ANY ounce of positivity and optimism and hope left in his life when we get to him in s4. thatd how utter dogshit a hand he has been dealt in life. and it only.got worse from there. and i will NEVER forgive ANYONE involved in his creation for that.

so yeah! that concludes my journey reading flight of icarus. it was a wild ride lol.

#flight of icarus #flight of icarus spoilers #eddie munson #stranger things #mack reacts

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gipzisays209 · 4 months

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No way! I feel flattered!!!

Remember what I said before? About the sysmed server not knowing I exist? Well! It appears as though that would now be an incorrect statement! (More under the cut)

Let's go at this like it's English class, shall we? Dissect this post for it's contents?

"If you get this server taken down, we'll just make another server. ... If it comes to that, we'll just share the links in private GCs ..."

Well. Ain't that a kick in the head! If one server gets taken down, it's entirely possible to take another one down for the exact same reason! And saying you'll only hand out links privately... hate to break it to ya, but I, the host, am a Theatre kid. Acting is a hobby, and one I'm damn good at. You hand out links privately, only to people you deem trustworthy? Honey, that is my forte. ;)

"You're getting mad and defensive over us calling you out ... Instead of wasting your time reporting our server, maybe focus your energy on reporting servers that are actually harming people?"

Whoa, slow down there, hoss. Take a breather. You ever thought about why we're here? In your Discord? Taking screenshots and leaking them?

It's because, surprise surprise, fakeclaiming is harmful. It doesn't matter what it is, if you're getting fakeclaimed over a unique and individual experience/identity, that can (and sometimes will, sadly) cause a spiral that can lead to some nasty places. Depression. Isolation.

Even places like self-harm and suicide.

We are here because your server is harmful. We are here because you present an active threat to the community. But of course your HIGHNESS can't bear to think they're the problem!

"Addressing the ban claims, at one point we did ban a lot of faker systems from our server while rooting out a mole. Everyone from that event has since been unbanned. If you are still banned, its for a reason. Claims of us 'banning just because we can' are false. I could take a screenshot of our ban list and give a reason for every single one."

*Sips cup*

Yeah, I think we can move on from this one.

And now, the quote I've been so desperately wanting to address...

"Gip, because I know you’re in here, kindly stop sucking Ghost’s dick and get your own opinions, it would do everyone good. That goes for all of his little zombie followers. If your lives revolve around people on an online messaging app screwing around, re-evaluate your life choices."

Wow, where do I start with this one?

Blatant misgendering, bordeline going against their own rules when it comes to naming people on the server- I have 20 followers! And even then, you're still going to drop a version of my username? Just like that? Mmmmm...

I have my own opinions, thanks. I don't need a circlejerk discord to make me feel better about my own shitty fucking existence, cuz I have the balls to outright admit I'm a petty asshole with no fucking life. And my opinion is that people like Sophie, people like Cambrian and Lunastas and Guardian- all of them are fucking right. They have all proven they do their goddamn research, they actually give back to the communities they inhabit, and most of all, they aren't leeching off of people just by fucking existing, as hard as it is for you guys to believe.

(Also, if you're gonna insult someone, get it fucking right lmfao. Ghost is the goddamn host, Sophie is not Ghost. Two different people. Also, I'm fucking Asexual, so um, projecting much?)

Wow. As of writing this, they literally just got worse!

Well. You see, while I personally choose to censor Discord usernames to close loopholes like this, it's actually not the same as if you sent a Tumblr handle. What you're seeing in those screenshots are not identifiers, they are server nicknames. Which are specific to THAT SERVER ONLY. Unlike places like Tumblr and Twitter, where seeing your name automatically means someone can find you, on Discord it's actually not possible (that I know of) to doxx someone through a server nickname alone. So no, actually, Sophie didn't leave your username out there, only a server nickname, and the two are not the same. So yes, actually. Because Discord is it's own site with it's own way of handling usernames, it is perfectly acceptable what Sophie did (although not perfectly ideal), because nobody is going to be able to use those names alone to doxx and/or harass.

And finally, the final update as of writing this post... the almighty @ everyone ping...

Damn. I don't even have to AP English IV this shit, they already did it for me!

To sum it all up, phew... I guess I'm a target now! Which I'm honestly pretty damn fine with! But just know, I don't fuckin hold back. I will be a bitch for the sake of being a bitch, because I don't care how petty I am. I don't care about what people think of me, or whatever the fuck you could ever do to me.

I care about defending people from the likes of you.

So go on. Give me your best shot, then. You have the balls to call me out in front of your entire Discord server?

Challenge accepted, motherfucker.

Challenge accepted.

Let's get 'em, bitches!

#syscourse #sophiecourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #system stuff #endo safe #r/systemcringe #r/systemscringe #r/fakedisordercringe #r/didcringe #I dont care how you interpret this.#Active declaration of war? Sure.#Just an asshole being pissy on the internet? Go for it.#I have my reasons and my motives #cw suicide #cw self harm

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magenta-embers · 8 months

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My Army Journey

I first heard of K-pop back in 2010 when a friend of mine mentioned being a fan of a group called Shinee, a Korean boyband. We weren't that close, so it's not like she tried to show me anything of theirs. At this time, I was also trying to be less judgy about other people's musical tastes, so even though I found (western) boybands to be cringy, I was pretty indifferent to K-pop out of sheer will.

I didn't really hear about K-pop again until about 2016-2017 as someone in uni. Being chronically online, even then you were bound to come across it on Twitter. I'd see male idols everywhere and they all blended together in my brain, EXCEPT for this one guy named Jimin. I'd recognize him as that pretty one. Didn't even know what group he was from, didn't care.

At this time, my dad also got remarried and suddenly I had a younger step-sister who was into K-Pop. I became curious because this was getting a lot more popular than I remembered it being. My stepsister's favorite group was Seventeen, (cue my teasing: "If they're seventeen, why are there thirteen of them?" "Do they each sing like half a line?" "Which one's Jimin?"). When I brought up Jimin, she did finally confirm he's in BTS. She said BTS and EXO are the biggest, but BTS is overtaking. I asked if BTS are the best, and she no, but they're good. I asked her to show me the gayest music video of theirs (I don't even know why) and she showed me Blood, Sweat & Tears (The Queen herself). The video was cool, Jimin was fkn pretty, but I still didn't delve deeper.

It wasn't until mid-2018 that the rabbit hole shit happened (you know the one. You're all here for the same reason). It was completely on a whim. I saw this photo on Twitter:

I recognized Jimin immediately of course. But this photo got me curious because they all had an interesting look to them and I thought it wasn't fair that I'd ever thought "they all look the same" because they didn't and I felt like I owed it to them to at least do them the respect of learning their damn names (famous goddamn last words, anyone?). Jimin, Joon, Hobi, Yoongi, and Tae (eyebrows man, as I called him) were the easiest to learn in that order. I had a little more trouble telling Jungkook and Jin apart at times. I think I had it down by the time the weekend was over though.

One of the first things I watched was their puppy interview. Crack cocaine. Watched a couple more interviews and then moved onto the beginner guides to BTS, funny and serious. Then, the funny compilation videos set to Nintendo Wii theme music. I didn't even get into the music until way later. The very first BTS song I listened to on my own was Lie. What an introduction lmao. The second was Save Me, and that was the song that made me go, "Yeah okay, they're the real deal" (I also tried listening to EXO and some other groups, but... yeah no). After that, it was just further and further down the rabbit hole.

What was important to me was the quality of lyrical content and the ability to sing live. I couldn't have become a fan if they didn't have those two things down. Little did I know, even that is an underestimation of their abilities and their journey. They constantly blew my mind as I learned about all they do. They're capable of extraordinary things.

Being involved as a fan in a powerful fandom of such a massive group has had its ups and downs, but now I just want them all to come back. I miss them together so much. The fandom's in fragments and sanity is cracking without BTS as a unit.

Next post: Shipping and Jikookery

#BTS #bts army

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silcoitus · 9 months

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One-shot WIPs

I have a pile of silco/reader one-shots that are starting to collect dust and I want to see if I can try to at least get one of them done. But I have no idea which I should do, so I'm going to let y'all decide! Below the cut are summaries and snippets of my incomplete WIPs. Let me know which you think I should finish first!

The Campaign (3)

Current word count: 1084

Summary: Technically not a one-shot. Third and final chapter of the campaign manager!reader from when Silco was in the DILF tourney

You spend that night in Silco’s bed, wrapped in his arms. He makes no advances on you, content to hold you as you both drift off to sleep. His breath is warm in your hair, the soft rumbling of his breath a soothing sound that lulls you to slumber. You feel content and satisfied as your eyes flutter closed and your breathing calms. Perhaps it was this moment of comfort that made the impending loss sting just a little less.

Magnet

Current word count: 2634

Summary: You finally manage to catch the attention of the Eye of Zaun after countless nights at The Last Drop. Based on the Punch Brothers song "Magnet"

His smile is wicked, showing a hint of his chipped teeth. It's then that you finally find your wits enough to respond. Feet work quickly to get into position; you wrap an ankle around the back of his as your hands grab his vest's lapels, shoving him downwards. He trips over your foot, crashing into the floor, and you're quick to follow him, straddling his hips. You look to the bodyguard to see him paying you no mind. Perhaps he's not there to ensure you don't do anything so much as to make sure you both aren't interrupted.

Revolutionary

Current word count: 279

Summary: This is actually a rejected scene for this request fulfillment that I might add more to. You and Silco grew up together in the harsh streets of the Lanes. But now that you're both older, can you finally admit your true feelings to each other?

"I would never tell you that you're the only family I've ever had. And the only one I'd ever want." You turn to face him, your cheek pressed into the warm concrete of the roof. He turns to you and his expression is unreadable, a stoic, practiced poker face. "And I certainly would never tell you that I love you. And that I've wanted you ever since we were stupid teenagers." It happens for the briefest of seconds, but you swear you see a flash of recognition in those twin oceans, a glimpse of vulnerability.

Fallen Star (working title)

Current word count: 1514

Summary: The Silco/you POV for this request. This might actually turn into a longfic/slow-burn but goddamn I have too many of those lol Unhappy with making Topsiders lives even more luxurious than they already are, you bring your engineering talents to the Undercity. Your steady improvements do not go unnoticed by the Eye of Zaun.

"We could make a lasting change for people who truly need it. Don't kids growing up in the Undercity deserve to have the same great living conditions we have growing up here?" Your boss says your name low and in warning. "That's enough. Sit down." "No!" You storm your way to the door, an invisible hand pulling you out. The veil over your eyes lifting. "You know what? I quit. I'm sick of sitting here doing nothing when I know for a fact I can be doing some good elsewhere. Have fun with your toys and your profit margins. I'm done."

Visit Family (working title)

Current word count: 576

Summary: You bring Silco home to meet your parents for the first time

“You’re nervous.” Your partner sits back up again, turning to you. “I am not.” “Are too,” you tease back. “It’s why you’ve been pouting all morning.” He slumps into the swing again, resuming his indignant position. “I’m not pouting,” he mutters under his breath. “I just don’t see why I need to meet your parents.”

Practice and Patience

Current word count: 710

Summary: You admit to Silco that he's your first. He responds just as well as you could have ever hoped he could.

"I want you," he starts. "And I want you as you are." Warmth blooms in your chest at his words. You can do nothing but stare silently up at him as he speaks. "I want you to do whatever is comfortable for you. Your comfort is paramount to me."

Nightingale

Current word count: 3352

Summary: As Chross's nurse, you come into contact with many different characters in the Undercity. After a particularly eventful Chembaron assembly, you find yourself face-to-face with the Industrialist.

You press your ear to the door again and hear a chorus of coughs, multiple Chembarons struggling to breathe. Not only that, but there seems to be a sort of hissing sound coming through the door as well as a low hum. Someone is speaking through the cacophony in a melodic tone, wandering and at complete odds with the stifled gasps and coughs of the other Undercity elite. What is happening? You step back and feel something tickle your nostrils. Quickly, you bring your hand up to cover your nose and mouth as you look down. Gas is seeping out from the crack at the bottom of the door, slowly dancing its way up into the air toward you. Your eyes widen and you scramble backward away from it until your shoulder blades hit a nearby window. Heart racing, your mind works overtime to assess the situation. Is a paycheck worth this?

#silcoitus #silcoitus writing #silcoitus polls #silcoitus asks #silco x you #silco x reader

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sapphire-weapon · 1 year

Note

hello there, how's your day going :)

i know you've talked about this before, i've seen your answer myself but i just have to say this one to let out some frustration in me lol

i've been scrolling down on tiktok for some eagleone content and whenever i see a video slightly about them there's like "siblings fr" / "brother-sister" captions and it's making me almost fume LMFAOO

what the HELL are these people talking about seriously.

and the comments are even worse, saying "so glad everyone is thinking of them as siblings" kinda shit

i have this urge....urge to puke bc whAT 🗣️🗣️❗❗

like, say something normal like "good friends" or "platonic" at least if you can't see them as a ship, since NOTHING in RE4make between Leon and Ashley are sibling-like to me and im sure many people who know smt little about body language can tell that

i just think this is some kinda propaganda to stop ppl shipping eagleone at this point lol some new ppl could indeed feel bad about shipping them if the majority of the ppl they see on social media see them as... siblings *pukes*

however it makes me wanna write some juicy, intense smut with the ship just to rile these ppl up haha

(thanks for reading this nonsense babbling)

.....

I know it's frustrating, anon. It's easy to ignore one person being dumb and wrong, because your brain can more easily go "ha ha look at what the jackass said" and move on. But to see people being stupid and wrong en masse over and over and over again is a little soul-crushing.

I'm personally going through this with the goddamn mafia background shit. I've kind of reached a point where I'd rather be trapped in a room with the entirety of Aeon fandom than have to bear witness to even just one more motherfucker who actually thinks that Leon is actually legitimately meant to be seen as Italian by Capcom -- ESPECIALLY after seeing what he looks like in Remake -- because apparently half of the people in RE fandom have never actually seen an Italian person in their fucking life. And, as someone from New Jersey, I take that shit personally. My stepdad's last name is Renzulli. Don't fucking tell me that Leon Scott fucking Kennedy is meant to be the son of Italian immigrants.

But I think what's important to bear in mind is that nothing that dumbasses say in this fandom -- no matter how many they are or how many times they say their stupid bullshit -- changes what the canon actually is or says. Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok dumbasses especially have no power over RE canon. When game devs look for fan response, they look for actual fan response to their official tweets and blog posts, as well as some forums (hello ResetEra), prominent content creators on Twitch and Youtube and what their audiences are saying, and game reviews (as well as comments posted on game reivews). No one at Capcom gives a singular flying fuck what the deeper fandom side of fandom is doing or saying, because they know that most of us are certifiable.

So, as rage-inducing as it is, we gotta just let some things go, man.

Leon/Ashley is a canonical romance, intended to be viewed as romantic by Capcom, and that's not going to change no matter how many thinly-veiled misogynists try to bad-faith morality police their way around fandom otherwise.

Leon Kennedy has no official backstory per canon and has never, in any way, shape, or form, been modeled or portrayed in a way that's meant to be viewed as Italian or in a way that makes sense with the idea he has mafia ties in his family or background.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.

Remember: if it's not in the games, it's not canon. And what is in the games is a romance. Full stop.

So, if you can channel that rage into something productive like smut, please, for the love of god, do. It's a way better response than getting yourself all riled up. And this ship needs more creators putting stuff in the tag, besides.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #eagleone

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clericofshadows · 6 months

Text

past meets present

Description: Regis runs into someone from the past while he and Zaeed are waiting for Kaidan to join them on their date.

Paring: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani

Note; Takes place a few years post ME3.

KA: Sorry loves, I’m going to be a bit late. Meeting is running over with no end in sight!

Regis checked his omnitool to see Kaidan’s message flashing at the top. That explains why Kaidan hadn’t met them at Apollo’s, despite his usual promptness.

Regis glanced up at Zaeed, who also had his omnitool out.

“Sounds like we’re on our own for a while,” Zaeed said. “That school keeps him so goddamn busy.”

Regis typed out a reply. “Price he pays for not being on the station in person all the damn time.”

RS: Want us to go ahead and order? We can wait for you. KA: Nah, don’t worry about it. Don’t let me prevent you from eating. Can’t have a grumpy Zee on our hands. ZM: I can see that. KA: I know :). I’ve done enough chatting. I can always ask you to get me something to-go. It’s fine.

ZM: No, it’s not. We’ll order as many goddamn appetizers as it takes to wait for you. KA: <3.

Regis took that as a sign he was done talking for now. Zaeed reached over and grabbed Regis’s hand, lacing their fingers together on the table.

The waiter–Alyx, if he remembered correctly, never being great with names–came back by, asking if they were ready for anything. Regis went ahead and ordered them some fried chicken bites smothered with spicy peppers, and Zaeed opted for a platter of egg rolls and another beer.

“Anything else, gentleman?” The waiter asked. “Usually I don't see just the two of you here.”

“We're waiting on our third. He might be a while,” Regis replied, setting down the menu. “We’ll wait and order our usual when he gets here.”

“Of course. Just let me know. I’ll go ahead and get those appetizers out for you.” The waiter left with a nod.

Zaeed finished off his first pint. “50 credits says this whole meeting could've been an email.”

“You say that every time.”

“So, are you taking the bet or not?”

Regis took a sip of his lemonade. “No.”

“You’re no fun.”

Regis only smiled in response. “You won’t be saying that later tonight.”

Zaeed rolled his eyes. “Indulge me. I know he loves this program, but how many times a month do we hear him bitching about the content of the meetings?”

“Price he pays for not being there in person,” Regis said again with a pointed look. “Soon enough we’ll all be back on Arcturus, and I imagine then he’ll have no issues. For now, this is the best thing they can do.”

“When did you get to be so diplomatic?” Zaeed snorted.

“I can think of a few reasons.” Regis started counting on his fingers to make a point. “Galactic war and all the shit I had to deal with, post-Alpha Relay summits before Wren and Hackett got smart and used the resources I got for us, hmm… post-war summits and all that shit… Can I keep going or have I made myself clear?”

“Crystal. I guess you’re right. We really can’t complain.”

“Not unless you want to do long distance.”

“Rather not.”

The waiter came back with their appetizers, setting the plates down along with three small plates and another glass of Zaee’s preferred beer. Nice little touch. They hesitated for a moment.

“Something wrong?” Regis asked.

They pulled a face. “Depends. I know you typically like a quiet evening and all… but there is a woman over on the balcony inquiring about you.”

They were right. Neither of them were particularly fond of the attention that lands on them at all times, although the luster had died down since the end of the war. Still, there were fans who wanted to meet the great Admiral Shepard, and Regis always turned them down. He is not some prize to look at.

On the off chance it was something interesting… “Did she give a name?” Regis asked.

“She did. Rahna Akar.”

Regis found himself dragged by… Kaidan? Was that his name? He was too distracted looking into his eyes, nothing but kindness and a beautiful dark brown full of warmth. Either way, he was the one good thing so far out of this fucking place. “Come on, let’s meet more people! You can’t hole yourself up in there all the time. Let me introduce you to Rahna, she’s one of our dorm buddies.”

A blast from the past. Interesting. And Kaidan isn’t here to witness it.

Even Zaeed quirked an eyebrow at that. Regis nodded, curious to hear from her. “She’s fine to come over.”

“Oh? Alright, I’ll let her know.” They walked away. Regis watched as they approached a table far from them, right next to the balcony.

There was a woman sitting alone, clothed in a simple, but professional dress Regis sees often on the Citadel. He couldn't make out her face just yet, but as she got up, he immediately recognized her. Older, yes, but still the striking woman that was part of their friend group at BAaT.

Well, part of Kaidan’s group. Regis took a lot longer to warm up to anyone that wasn’t Kaidan, still angry about not learning biotics from Vik. Still, his mother’s decision led him to Kaidan, and he can’t really imagine a universe in which he didn’t meet up during BAaT. And through that, they met Zaeed.

Regis can’t really bring himself to be angry about it anymore, knowing what BAaT gave him in the end.

Rahna approached them, standing next to their table, glancing down at the empty chair. “You’re looking well, Regis… or is it Admiral?”

“It’s Regis,” he said. “How’s life treating you?”

“Well, all things considered… When I saw you, I thought that…” she trailed off. “Never mind. I guess I shouldn’t ask for much after everything.”

She wanted to see Kaidan, not that he was surprised.

Regis shrugged. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to. Not really, anyway, if that’s what this is all about.” He moved to grab an egg roll and a couple of pieces of chicken, pushing them onto his plate. “This is Zaeed, our husband. Apologies for not immediately introducing you two.”

He nodded at her but didn’t offer anything else in response.

“Yes, I thought I recognized him. I’m Rahna,” she said, belatedly. “I apologize for the intrusion. If I caught you off guard, then you most definitely did for me,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Sit,” Zaeed said to Regis’s surprise. “Kaidan was held up by something, but if you want to speak to him, now’s your chance.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude,” she hesitated in her tone, but her hand already went to the chair. “I’ve already eaten.”

Regis wanted to be a bit of an ass and say she already intruded, but he bit his tongue. Zaeed seemed to pick up on it, though, hiding a grin behind his drink. “Sure, go ahead.” “Thanks!” She brightened up, taking a seat. Their waiter came back and asked if she needed anything. She asked for a glass of water.

The atmosphere of the table was a bit awkward, Regis and Zaeed digging into their food while she waited for her drink, later sipping at her water after the water brought it by.

“So,” she started. “I guess you know everything, Zaeed?”

He nodded. “We don’t keep secrets from each other. I know what happened, every goddamn bit.”

“It’s been a long time since then,” she said, not quite meeting their gaze. “We’ve… you’ve changed a lot since then.”

“Never thought the bratty angry kid could become the savior of the galaxy?” He asked but tried to keep it light. It must’ve failed by the way she seemed to flinch a bit.

Probably not helped by his cybernetics. He knows his glowing eyes are off-putting to some, and with his scars and general attitude, he’s not the nicest guy out there.

It also doesn’t help that Regis had a crush on Kaidan from the beginning and admittedly, never got on well with Rahna as a result of that. He tried to be civil for Kaidan’s sake, but it didn’t always work out.

“Well, no–sorry–” she started, but Regis interrupted her.

“No, I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I was a bitch during BAaT.”

“You really were,” she laughed, and Regis had to hold back a dark look. “I swear I’ve never seen anyone so jealous. Kind of surprised me to see your wedding pictures on the ‘net… hell, my husband immediately showed me the details.” Regis held back a frown.

Married and with a spouse who knows at least some of the details from BAaT.

“You’re married?” Regis asked, not noticing a ring on her finger. She was, however, wearing a necklace with the pendant noticeably tucked into her neckline. Regis didn't think anything of it, often doing the same with his rings, keeping him close to his chest.

“I am, yes, Nearly ten years now,” she said.

Zaeed gave Regis a questioning look before asking, “Regis can be a jealous bastard at times, yes, but never with us and what we have. What are you trying to pull?”

Regis wasn’t going to comment on it, but Zaeed had a point.

She frowned. “I’m not trying to pull anything. Last I saw Regis… well, it’s not important. Sorry if I caused any offense.”

Regis waved it off, but something about her comment still stung. He wasn’t about to fully let it go, throwing out one last comment. “Communication is key, and one thing that we’ve always tried to be good at. Only way we can make this work. Didn’t really have a lot of that back in the day, did we? Goes a long way to clearing the air.”

Her face stayed carefully stoic. “It’s good that you both found so much happiness despite everything.”

More like in spite of everything. Regis dropped it, for now. Now’s not really the time to be petty, but a small, dark, and vindictive part of him was happy that he was the one that helped Kaidan in the end. “I’m glad to hear you did well, too. Still use your biotics? Or did you go for the program to tamper down the L2s?”

She nodded, loosening up a bit. “You and Miss Lawson did incredible work on that, by the way. Yes, I went for the reduction. Wore a low-power, low-energy amp for years until you came up with that method. I feel… a lot freer now.”

Regis and Miranda spent time trying to improve amp and implant structure, as well as introducing more ways to use cybernetics in the field of medicine. Kaidan’s biotic school was his pet project; Regis’s was his cybernetics programs. With Miranda’s knowledge from Lazarus, they were able to reverse engineer parts of the L2 and give recipients of the implants two major choices: refit with an upgraded implant with fewer risks, or downgrade down and lose most, if not all biotic ability. Vikram also got involved, using their centuries of medical experience and biotic implant knowledge to get their methods out there. A third, lesser chosen option was to retrofit the L2 with some improvements to further reduce risk, but not all side effects were lost.

Kaidan, like him, still uses the L2. It’s been a successful program, and these days Regis is happy enough to spend his time overseeing that. He’s still an Admiral and a Spectre, but not as out in the field as much.

The Normandy is in new hands. Much of the crew has gone their separate, but happy ways. And soon enough, Regis might find himself living damn near full time on a space station.

Who knew?

“I’m glad to hear it’s been useful to you,” Regis said, hoping the sincerity was coming through. “BAaT made many things clear to us.”

“If I ever have kids who manifest, I know who I’m sending them to. I really should be saying this to him, but…” she trailed off, and Regis had a feeling he knew what she was about to say.

Before Regis could say anything, his omnitool pinged.

KA: Meeting’s done, I’m heading down as fast as humanly possible.

Zaeed opened his omnitool and a smirk appeared on his face. Oh no.

ZM: Could it have been an email?

Regis rolled his eyes and gave him a pointed look. Rahna looked at them in a hilarious expression of pure confusion.

KA: No, Zee, it couldn’t. ZM: Dammit. Anyway, we have company. KA: You… do?

RS: What Zaeed is trying to say is that we ran into someone unexpected. Rahna.

Kaidan started typing and stopped, and then started again, and then stopped again.

Finally, he sent a message.

KA: Wow. That is unexpected. I guess she wants to talk to me?

RS: I’ve gotten that impression, but we’ve had a good conversation so far. I won’t spoil all the details. KA: Of course not. Be there soon. XX

Regis and Zaeed sent kisses in response before powering off their tools.

“He’s on his way,” Regis said, and she immediately seemed to tense back up.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine,” Zaeed said, his voice taking on a tender tone.

“I really shouldn’t be worried. Kaidan was always such a sweetheart, and then–” She made a motion with her hand. “That was all I could see. Still see, sometimes.”

Regis wasn’t about to admit that Vyrnnus stopped haunting his dreams many, many years ago. Kaidan coming in and saving the day changed the narrative for him.

Instead for her, it was likely another nightmare. He understands. Being an Alliance spacer kid meant he was used to death, to an extent, already getting some training for self-defense and shooting lessons.

Someone like her? A good life with a rich family?

“Something tells me you never saw it that way,” she continued.

“Why? Because of my feelings for Kaidan? Or because of what I’ve become with my Alliance career?” Regis asked. He didn’t want to be accusatory, but quite frankly, he wanted to know where she was going with that.

If she says Torfan, he might just get up and leave.

“No. I could see it in you when you Stasised him. You claimed the power shift was accidental, but was it really? I remember you talking all the time about your uncle who should’ve been the one training you, and that Vyrnnus will get his one day,” she admitted carefully.

Damn. He had to give her props for that, but he hated her tone, as if she was trying to trap him into admitting something.

Regis took a few bites of his chicken before pushing the plate away, washing it down with a bit of lemonade. “It was accidental. I did want to Stasis the son of a bitch. But sometimes, biotics can be just as much about intent as it is about the mnemonic.”

He made sure her gaze was locked onto his. “The only thing I would change would be to trade places with Kaidan.”

She looked away. “How could you… never mind. It… messed him up, didn't it.”

“That's an understatement if I've ever heard one,” Regis scoffed. “But I'm not really the one you should be saying this to. I wasn't shunned, he was. And all of you were blind to what he did to save us all.”

But Kaidan forgave her and them a long time ago. Regis wanted him to forget about them, they were nothing. Yet, that wasn’t Kaidan.

“You grew up knowing biotics. None of us did! And we saw what we could do if we were pushed too far, what we could do to each other. He broke my arm, and the next thing I knew, he was dead! Was killing him really the answer?”

Yes, it was, he wanted to yell.

“I don't blame you for feeling that way, but a strong support from all the students who suffered under his torture would've gone a long way. Thankfully, he was cleared anyway, as was I,” Regis replied, choosing not to rise to the bait. “That kick he managed is nothing compared to what we can do. Being scared of what we can do is probably what they wanted anyway. As far as I know, Kaidan and I were some of the only L2s that actually went somewhere in the Alliance.”

Zaeed whistled, getting their attention. He held up his omnitool. “He’s about to be here, coming up from the elevator.”

Rahna settled back down in her seat. “I kept in contact with some. You're right, most of us found ways to get rid of our ‘gift.’ You, however, can't blame us for how we felt. I was a scared teenager in immense pain, and–” She stopped, her gaze focusing on something behind him.

Regis opened his mouth to reply, but Kaidan cleared his throat behind them. Ah, right. How much did he hear?

He sat down in the seat between Zaeed and Rahna.

“Looks like you've been having a productive conversation without me,” he said diplomatically, nodding at Rahna. “Good to see you. You look well.”

Regis could tell Kaidan was keeping his voice carefully steady, carefully flat. Not a good sign.

“You do too,” she said, her voice taking on a similar tone. “Married and Alliance life seems to be treating you well.”

“That it has,” he said, breaking out into a genuine smile. It was quickly lost. “I could tell things were a bit tense when I arrived.”

“It's not easy talking about BAaT,” she began.

“No shit,” Regis interjected. Kaidan gave him a sharp look.

“What, I'm not wrong!” Regis said, defending himself.

“No, but you don't have to be an ass about it,” Kaidan said with a sigh.

Regis rolled his eyes but stayed silent anyway.

The waiter came back by. “Ah, your third has come! Would you like for me to put your usual in?”

“Might as well,” Kaidan said. “Unless you have any objections? Rahna, would you like anything?”

Still dancing around the main topic.

“No, I’ve eaten already. Thanks anyway,” she said.

“Our usual, then,” Kaidan said. “And could you give us some privacy?”

“Of course. Just signal for me if you need anything. I’ll return with your food,” they said before walking off, returning a moment later to give Kaidan a pint of beer.

Kaidan took a long, slow sip of his drink before breaking the silence. “Why exactly did you want to talk to me, Rahna? To apologize?”

“Well–yes,” she started to say. “I never knew what happened to you, other than hearing that BAaT was shut down. And then years later you appear in the news, and kept appearing…”

“I forgave you a long time ago,” Kaidan said. “And honestly? I don’t want to hear it. It’s long been in the past. We were kids.”

“You did?” She looked at Regis, who decided to say nothing. He knew that Kaidan did. He could’ve told her and sent her on her merry little way, but he couldn’t help being curious about what she wanted to say to Kaidan after all these years.

Hell, even Regis couldn’t really blame everyone for their reactions, but that didn’t mean he wanted to invite anyone over for drinks and reminiscing anytime soon. It was a betrayal, no matter how anyone framed it. “But–”

“But what?” Regis asked. “You heard him. It’s done. And I made sure he could work through it, as the only kid there who stood with him.”

“Regis…” Kaidan started, giving him a warning look.

“What? It’s true. I’m not the only reason why you were able to be comfortable as a biotic again, but I sure as hell helped,” Regis said, not backing down.

Rahna shook her head, standing up. “I don’t even know why I bothered with your goddamn guard dog here. It was good seeing you, Kaidan, and I’m glad life has treated you well. Regis? Thank you for your cybernetics program, but honestly, I shouldn’t have expected anything different out of you.” She gave Zaeed a nod, who inclined his head in response. Regis couldn’t even tell what he was thinking right now.

“Rahna, wait,” Kaidan said, standing up.

“I’ll go,” Regis said, standing up and tossing his napkin on the table. “Tell Alyx to pack my food for to-go. I’ll be in the Spectre range if you need me.”

This is purely between Kaidan and Rahna. He doesn’t need to be there, especially when his opinions haven’t changed after all these years.

Kaidan risked punishment after he broke free of his guards to try and clear the air, to talk to her before he was sent away. Hell, he remembered Kaidan recalling the guards drawing their weapons when he flared out, trying to get one last moment with her, to explain himself and get what to understand.

And she turned away with only a goodbye.

Regis walked off without a second glance back, hearing Kaidan call his name as he rounded the corner to the elevators. He pressed the call button and stopped to put his earbuds in when he saw Zaeed walking towards him with his jacket slung over his shoulder.

“Did Kaidan send you after me?” Regis asked, crossing his arms.

“No, I left because their conversation is none of my goddamn business.”

Fair enough. It had to be awkward for him.

“Are you going to say it's mine?”

He shrugged. “I know what you went through, but is she really the bad guy here?”

The elevator doors opened. They stepped inside, Zaeed moving to hold his hand. Regis couldn’t help but smile.

Regis inputted their destination. “No, but she represents everything that caused Kaidan to shrink into himself. He was confident, open with his biotics. Directly after? Well, everyone was terrified. But Rahna? She turned away from him after he tried to fight to talk to her one last time.” Zaeed nodded. “Kaidan told me everything.”

“I know.”

“And you also told me everything.”

The doors opened and they stepped outside, making their way to the Spectre office tucked away in the embassies. “What are you trying to say?”

“Both of you are too damn biased when it comes to her. His crush on her has long since fizzled out, but he still cares for her. Your opinions on her haven’t changed one bit.”

“Neither has hers on me,” he scoffed. “We were never that civil with each other, although we tried to be for appearances. Also to save ourselves from punishment. Can’t be seen fighting.”

Zaeed grumbled out a curse. “The more I hear about what you went through, the happier I am he is rotting somewhere.”

“You know I’ll drink to that.”

As they walked up the stairs, they noticed a familiar face about to enter the offices. Ashley was waving her credentials to the door, clothed in a comfy techwear inspired outfit. “What the hell are you two doing here?” she asked, keeping the door open for them.

Regis nodded at her in thanks, barely listening to the VI announce their Spectre statuses and Zaeed’s associate status. “Long story.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Thought the three of you were supposed to be on some hot date. What happened? Clearly not a fight, but something… I don’t know… awkward?”

She knows them too damn well.

“Right on the money, Ash,” Zaeed replied, sitting down in front of the range. “How much do you know about BAaT?”

She made a face. “Oh no. What happened? I don’t know like, everything, but I know how it shut down.”

“Then you know enough,” Regis sighed. “Did Kaidan ever mention someone named Rahna to you?”

She nodded. “Break during N training. Yeah, he talked a bit about BAaT and you and what he did in the end to protect her. Was a bit tight lipped about her, though. All I was able to get out of him was that they stopped talking after what happened.”

Regis pulled a face. “Well, that’s one way to put it.”

He started to tell his version of the story, but Zaeed cut him off. “No, you’re too goddamn biased.”

“And you aren’t?” Regis asked. Ashley looked between them and shook her head.

“Least biased about her,” Zaeed said, putting his hand over Regis’s mouth. Ashley laughed. He licked it and when Zaeed didn’t budge, he sighed and rolled his eyes.

Zaeed told her what was, admittedly, a nicer version of what Regis would’ve described, removing his hand from his mouth in the middle of the story.

“Yeah, can hold one hell of a grudge. You were jealous,” Ashley said, giving him an unimpressed look. “Not that I’m surprised, but even after all this time? You got the man–you got two men–and you’re still trying to pick a fight with her?”

“It’s not about what Kaidan felt for her. It’s about what she represents,” Regis said. “Kaidan struggled to see himself as a biotic, as someone who was even human. I wasn’t scared of him, but I sure as hell was scared for him after seeing the rest of our class stepping away from him after what he did. Rahna said he was Mr. Popular, but hell, she was the queen. And I get why. She was nice, always willing to lend an ear, knowing what to say… but that day, I saw nothing but betrayal. We were saved from our goddamn torturer, and yet suddenly, he wasn't the only monster in the room.”

Ashley sat down next to him. “God… I knew it was bad, but even from your perspective… they must’ve grilled the both of you.”

“I got off easy compared to him,” Regis said quietly. “Thankfully, the higher ups saw it in a similar way, as did the turian courts, but the damage was already done. I made sure we stayed in contact, and I was there for him when I could be in-between my studies and his own online programs.” Regis closed his eyes. “I remember something he said one night. We were still young, not even enlisted yet…”

Kaidan brought him to their apple tree. A large one up on a hill, all by its lonesome away from the rest of the orchard. It was special, one of the first on the property. Or something. It seemed to have a lot of stories. Either way, it was Regis’s favorite. Away from prying eyes. An inspiration for the tattoo of the tree on his right arm, combined with Norse imagery to be his own yggdrasil. They kissed each other, soft and sweetly on a warm blanket, underneath the starry sky. In between kisses and loving words, Kaidan said something to him that nearly broke his heart, the way his voice rasped and cracked. “Regis, you make me feel human.” “I shouldn’t have to. You are human, every glowing bit of you.” “Yes, yes, I know… how many times have we had this discussion?” “Far too many. But if me being here with you helps…. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.” Kaidan kissed him again, this time with more heat and passion behind it. Regis returned it with the same intensity, pulling him in close to press up against him. “Kaidan, I love you,” he said, breathing out those special words for the first time against his lips. “I love you, too, Regis,” he replied. And they enjoyed their night together underneath the stars.

Regis left that last bit out when recounting the story–for Ash’s sake, Zaeed has already experienced the ‘Alenko Tradition’ a few times. “That’s why I can’t simply bring myself to forgive and forget. Or hell, to forgive and not forget. Whatever.”

“I guess I get it,” Ashley said, “even if I do think you should’ve at least tried to be nice about it. But then, I remember who I’m talking to…”

Regis shrugged. “I tried, I honestly did. But then she looked at me when Kaidan said he forgave her a long time ago and I couldn’t help it.”

“Sometimes it is best to just walk away,” she sighed. “Well, want to vent your frustrations against a couple of targets and prototypes?” She pointed behind her to the range, and Regis was glad to finally stop talking about goddamn BAaT.

“That’s why we’re here,” Zaeed grinned. “Lead the way, Ash. I’m looking forward to seeing what secret shit is back there this quarter.”

– –

They weren’t in the range long, testing out some new HK guns and modifications. Regis was quite impressed with their new pistol line, but its handling still paled in comparison to his faithful Eagle line.

Either way, it was fun shooting the shit with Zaeed and Ashley, with some friendly competition thrown in for good measure. Regis still reigned supreme with snipers, but he could concede to their handling with other weapons.

To this day he still holds some of the best marksman records at the Villa.

In between rounds, his omnitool pinged. He removed the heat sink from the pistol and placed it on the bench, checking his omnitool with a raised eyebrow when he saw who it was from.

KA: She’s gone, if you want to come back and heat up your food when you get home. RS: We’re at the range. Ran into Ash. Did… everything go well? KA: Come home and find out.

A moment later, Regis saw his monitoring logs pop up with a message.

Kaidan Alenko logged out of the server.

Zaeed shook his head and started to place the Spectre modified Harrier back on the rack.

“That’s… not a good sign from either of you,” Ashley observed. “Need me to come with for backup?”

Regis damn near took her up on the offer because for once he couldn’t read Kaidan through text. “No, this is my shit and I’ll deal with it.”

“I think you’re making this out to be far goddamn worse than it actually is. I doubt he’s mad, just annoyed,” Zaeed said, crossing his arms.

“Which is arguably worse,” Regis sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I wish I never told Alyx to bring her over.”

“No, you don’t,” Zaeed rolled his eyes. “You enjoyed finally being able to tell her how you feel. You just don’t like that Kaidan was nice about it.”

Regis stayed silent, which was answer enough by the way Ashley laughed at him. “Don’t keep your man waiting. We can do this together another time.”

“Next time, with all three of us,” Regis said, giving her a hug. She returned it tightly before waiving them off.

The trip back to the elevators and later to a rapid transit terminal went fast enough, but now in a bit of a haste to see Kaidan and figure out what had happened during their conversation.

Logging out was deliberate. They typically stay idle most of the time, never logging out unless they need to go dark for a mission.

Regis wasn’t sure what to make of it. And neither did Zaeed, by the way he kept glancing over to him in the skycar. Caught in the middle of something that he was never a part of. He kept a reassuring grip on Regis’s hand, holding it tight between them.

Once they exited the skycar on the Strip, they made quick work getting up to the apartment, not wanting to delay any further.

Regis unlocked the door and saw Kaidan inside, on the couch next to the fireplace, curled up the knitted red, blue, and yellow blanket Hannah got for them as part of her wedding gift.

He knew the red and blue version that Adrian gave to them before they enlisted was secretly from her, but never said anything. That next gift was her way of knowing that he knew.

Things have changed some since he was an angry teenager who just wanted more freedom.

Regis took a moment to kneel down and take off his boots before joining him on the couch. Kaidan smiled at them and grabbed the blanket, motioning for them to join him.

Maybe things were going to be better than Regis had thought. Maybe him logging out was the signal that meant he wanted some comfort from them as soon as possible.

Regis curled up next to Kaidan, with Zaeed joining them a moment later, making sure the blanket was all settled over them as they cuddled up on their large, comfy couch. Regis noticed a mug full of something steaming and hot. He inhaled and smelled a hint of chocolate and sugar.

“Did you two have fun with Ash?” he asked, breaking the silence. “Heard we got a new shipment of toys to try out.”

Regis wasn’t going to comment on the obvious distraction from the main issue at hand.

“It did, and we did try out some new shit. Regis still thinks his damn Eagle is the best thing on the market, which is a fucking lie if I ever heard one,” Zaeed said, pressing a kiss on the back of Regis’s neck where his old biotic squad symbol tattoo lied.

Regis smiled, knowing the man behind him couldn’t see it. “You just don’t have any damn taste.”

“Look at who is sitting on this goddamn couch with me and ask me that again,” he replied, throwing an arm around him.

Kaidan moved to lean against Regis’s chest, which prompted him to lean into Zaeed’s. “You won’t be winning that argument, love,” he chuckled. “We’ll need to meet up with her and get a good performance review to… HK, right?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Regis hummed. He kissed the back of Kaidan’s head. “What’s going on in that head of yours? I’m sorry for bailing on you.”

“I hear a ‘but,’” Kaidan said, but it was good-naturedly. “No, you’re not. And that’s perfectly fine.”

“But what isn’t fine?” Regis asked. “What’s going on?” he repeated once more.

Kaidna let out a long, slow sigh. “We had a conversation. Caught up with her and how she’s doing. Kept dodging her insistence there was something she needed to apologize for. At this time? Really didn’t fucking matter to me. I worked through it, it's all in the past. She tried to get a snide word in or two about you, which well, I expected that. I’m sure you did the same to her, only fair.” Zaeed snorted at that. Regis didn’t deny his observation. Kaidan turned a bit so he could look at Regis. “No, it went fine. Just… throughout that conversation, I wondered if BAaT had weighed far heavier on her than it did for you and me, even after what we did.”

It took him a few years to wear him down and change the language to ‘we’ and not just ‘I’ when it came to their role in taking down Vyrnnus. Because Regis was involved. That Stasis changed everything. Gave Kaidan the perfect shot.

How could he ever say it was only him?

“I’m sure it did,” Regis said. “Her arm was broken badly by our abuser. Of course it changed her in ways that we can’t ever relate to.”

“That’s probably one of the nicest things you’ll say about her,” Zaeed murmured, just loud enough for the both of them to hear. Kaidan sent him a jolt of dark energy in response, enough to sting like a pinch.

“Anyway,” Regis turned to give Zaeed a look. “None of us came out of Jump Zero the same way we were when we came in. She had a few things to contend with…”

“Vyrnnus, me, and what we went through at BAaT,” Kaidan finished for him. “I think a part of her wanted to apologize probably more for her sake than mine. I get it, but I worked through it. And she needed to understand that.”

“Would you have preferred if I told her that right from the beginning?” Regis asked.

She probably wouldn’t have believed him anyway, but at least his heart would’ve been in the “right place.”

Kaidan came to the same conclusion. “Nah. I get the impression she would’ve thought you were trying to get her to go away. Why did you say yes anyway?”

Regis shrugged. “Curiosity. Wanted to see how she was doing, but also, I couldn’t help myself. Sorry.”

“You are not sorry,” Kaidan gave him an unimpressed look, but that was about usual with them, with a smile tugging at his lips. He shook his head. “She offered her link, but I didn’t accept it. Just said if she needed anything concerning biotics to contact you or me through our respective programs.”

“How did she take that?” Zaeed asked.

“Fine,” Kaidan replied. “She did spend a lot of time being so surprised about my relationship. She got the Regis part–” Regis snorted at that. “--but not so much you. I told her I fell in love with two incredible men at two points in my life and I couldn’t see life any different.”

Zaeed leaned over Regis to peck Kaidan on the lips. “You’re too goddamn sweet.”

“Well, wasn’t it more like I fell in love with two incredibly hot, powerful men and dragged you along with my decisions?” Regis added.

To be fair, it didn’t take long for Regis to explain to Kaidan the feelings he felt for Zaeed, and once he was done, Kaidan told him point blank that he found him attractive too. And later that evening… Regis was in bed with Zaeed.

Good times.

“Doesn’t matter how it started. Only thing that matters is how it ended up in the end,” Kaidan said with a grin, moving to kiss Regis after Zaeed settled back down beside him. “I am glad I was able to talk to her, if only for my younger self’s sake,” Kaidan continued, fixing the blanket over them. “Good thing my meeting didn’t go over as much as I thought it would.”

“What was it about anyway? Considering you said it couldn’t be a goddamn email, it must’ve been a little important.”

“More stuff about our return to Arcturus and what that means for staffing, the program… all that boring shit as you like to call it,” he replied. “Nothing crazy, just part of the routine.”

“Already planning the curriculum you want me to teach?” Regis teased.

“Possibly. Might keep you on as an adjunct. I don’t think you can tolerate dealing with kids all day.”

“Eh, I can always split my time between the Villa and the Alenko Academy since we’ll be in Sol,” Regis mused. “Hell, I might enjoy working with kids. Dealing with N recruits is basically the same thing!”

“And where do I fit into this?” Zaeed asked with a chuckle.

“You loved the Villa when we visited. Hell, they’ll be happy to have someone who can help recreate training sims with crazy scenarios,” Regis said. “Or you can be our loving husband. Whichever suits you best.”

“I’ll think about it,” he murmured. “Peace sure is nice.”

“Yeah,” Regis said, sprawling out between his husbands. “It sure is.”

Later that evening, Miranda sent him a link to a glowing review of their program, made by an anonymous RA.

This program has given me the opportunity to live my life the way I want to. I encourage anyone who needs a refit within the L2 generation to look into getting a work-up done to see what will work best for you. While I personally chose to remove my L2 and replace it with something that will give me as close to a biotic-free life as possible, that's not the only option for us. I could've gotten a better model that will help me fine-tune my biotics with fewer advers eeffects. Along with their endorsement by the Alenko Academy, I see no reason to not use their services as a human biotic of any generation. Shepard, Lawson, T'Lara, and the rest of their team are gifts to our community, and I hope they can change the lives of many others.

She followed the request with a call.

"Happen to know who this is from?" she asked in greeting.

"I might," Regis replied, watching Kaidan and Zaeed move around in the kitchen, heating up their leftovers and putting together some frozen cookie dough Regis had made a couple of nights prior. "Old classmate of ours from BAaT."

"We've had a few BAaT participates come in, haven't we? But it's been months. Why now, other than to give a longer term view... it just got me curious."

"Now that's going to be a long story in of itself," Regis admitted. "Take a rain check on that?"

She laughed. "Sure, Regis. You don't have to tell me all the details about BAaT. Enjoy your evening."

"You too, Miranda. Say hi to Ashley for me."

"Will do. She's definitely ready to kick all your asses in the range."

"I look forward to it. Why don't you join us for a round? Maybe we can have a big Armax meetup while we're still on the Citadel."

"Sounds great! I won't take up any more of your time."

She ended the call, and Regis got up to surprise his husbands and their cooking, making sure they don't mess up his favorite cookie dough recipe.

Maybe things are okay, if she left that kind of review. He wondered for a moment what Kaidan may have said to prompt that, but cast that thought out quickly.

BAaT and nearly everything about it is best left in the past.

Except for the gift it gave in the form of Kaidan.

#mass effect #kaidan alenko #regis shepard #male shepard #zaeed massani #mass effect fanfiction #cleric's writing #okay some parts of this were a little impulsive--looking at you ending #but i had fun exploring this

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