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liberty-barnes · 4 years

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Keep You Safe

Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Prompt: “I can’t decide if that’s cute or something characteristic of a psychopath”

Warnings: slightly creepy Peter, but like the endearing kind of creepy, also Petey being a dork,,,as always, protective Peter Parker, Endgame related angst but only for a sec, cuddlesssss, and fluff, lots of fluff, because I’m a hoe for fluff... and Tom Holland’s biceps but that’s a story for another day

Word Count: 2167 words

Estimated Reading Time: 9 minutes

A/N: School has officially closed which means that I’m now forced to stay home all day (which wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t locked at home with my dad and he’s getting on every single one of my nerves) and do the homework our teachers send us by email... I didn’t even know Microsoft Teams and OneNote existed until a week ago... so that’s something. I usually write stuff on paper during class cause let’s be honest, I only pay attention to what my teachers are saying when I’m forced to (don’t do this kids, listen to teachers, God I’m a such a bad example) so I’ve got about 5 stories written and I thought “Hey, since I’m too lazy to do my physics homework, why not post it all on tumblr?” So yeah, hi, this is my version of “quarantine is driving me crazy and I need an escape”. And before you ask, yes, I’ve succumbed to the toilet paper juggle thing already, it was not pretty.

Masterlist

Peter Parker was not a creep, he was simply a worried boyfriend.

There is nothing wrong with following your girlfriend after school to make sure she gets home safe before going back to the Tower. Or asking Karen to alert him whenever you leave the house so he could follow you to make sure you were safe. Or gifting you one of those morse code bracelets that monitored your vitals and location because he knew you’d never take it off and that way he could constantly know where you were and how you were feeling.

Peter Parker was not a creep.

He watched from his vantage point on top of a building as you and MJ left the mall, Slurpees in hand and carrying at least five shopping bags each, most of them being from art stores and only a couple from clothing. The sight of your bright smile made his heart burst with affection and he listened intently, still able to hear your melodic laugh over the hustle and bustle of the busy street.

He followed you at a safe distance, losing sight of the two of you as you entered the subway. Karen kept him aware of your whereabouts though, and he saw you again when you exited the subway station, now alone.

You walked a couple more blocks and entered your apartment building, but Peter only truly relaxed once he saw you entering your bedroom, having a clear view through your window.

He stayed for a few more minutes, admiring how beautiful you looked doing something as mundane as cutting tags off your newly bought clothes and throwing out the plastic wrapped around your new art supplies.

He then made his way to the Tower, where the Avengers chose to live again, for practical purposes.

“Hey everyone!” He immediately greeted his teammates after walking into the kitchen, mask off and hair slightly messy.

“Hey Pete,” The twenty-year-old witch gave him a chilled bottle of water from the fridge, already knowing that the boy would be parched.

Peter kissed her cheek and did the same to Pepper, Carol, and Morgan who were all sitting at the table playing Uno, no doubt to make the young Stark happy.

“Where is everyone?” The young spiderling asked after downing his water bottle.

“Bucky and Sam are in the gym, Bruce is messing with something in the labs, and Sharon went grocery shopping with Rhodey.” Carol set down a blue five, not even looking up from her hand. For a superhero, she sure sucked at card games.

“Oh, okay. I’m going to my room, be back to help with dinner!” He called back before walking to the elevator and pressing the button to his and May’s floor.

After everyone returned from the Blip, the Parkers lost their home and Pepper immediately offered them a floor at the Tower, not wanting her not-really-but-still-kind-of-feels-like-it son and his aunt to be living on the streets. Peter was very happy to be living with some of his favorite people in the world and very grateful for the opportunities it provided him.

He entered his room and pressed the button on his chest, the suit retracting to a simple spider pendant that hung around his neck, looking like an ordinary chain. He took it off and put it in his charging cradle before changing into a pair of grey sweatpants (your favorite though he still doesn’t understand why) and his blue Midtown sweatshirt.

He sat on his desk chair, ready to start his homework but a vibration from his phone made him postpone the task, choosing instead to open the messaging app on his custom made StarkPhone.

Princess 👑 ❤️: heyy :) Princess 👑 ❤️: can i meet you at the tower later? Princess 👑 ❤️: i want cuddles :)))

He smiled at that and immediately texted you back.

Baby🕷️ ❤️: i’ll ask Rhodey and Shar to pick you up on their way home :) Baby🕷️ ❤️: love you <3 Princess 👑 ❤️: love you more <33

He texted Sharon and after receiving confirmation that you were in the car with them, he turned his phone face down on the desk to avoid any distractions and started on his English homework, hoping to be done with it when you got here so he could cuddle in peace with his beloved girlfriend.

Twenty minutes later, he was almost done with his homework, fully engrossed in the words on the page that he had to meticulously read, highlight and analyze. He barely noticed when you entered the room, his spidey sense no longer detecting you as a threat, but took a much-needed breath of relief when he felt your hands around his shoulder, rubbing softly.

No words were needed as you kept rubbing his shoulders while he finished his homework, relishing in the soft kisses you left on the crown of his head from time to time. He finished the last sentence on his analysis and set his pen down, sighing. He closed his eyes and put his head back so it rested on your shoulder and you kissed his forehead, hands around his neck, hugging his upper body from behind.

“Cuddles now?” You asked, voice soft and soothing reaching his over-worked brain.

“Yeah, baby, let’s go.”

You kissed him on the forehead once more and took off your shirt, staying in your white lace bra and pastel pink sweatpants before laying down on the king-sized bed. You made grabby hands at him and he took off his own shirt, laying down between your legs and resting his head on your breasts. Your right hand made its way to his soft brown curls while your left rested on his upper back, hugging him close to your chest. His arms tightened around your waist and a pleased sigh left his lips, his lashes fluttering and tickling your skin as the tension rolled off of him in waves with every gentle pass of your manicured nails through his scalp.

Peter loved this position. There was really nothing sexual about it, he just loved hearing your heartbeat and feeling your colder skin against his naturally overheated one. He loved protecting the city and all of its inhabitants but here, in your arms, in this bed, he wasn’t Spider-Man, the newest Avenger. He wasn’t the Starks’ unofficially adopted kid that would take over SI alongside Morgan and Harley. He wasn’t the kid who brightened up everyone’s day and felt solely responsible for their happiness and well-being.

He was just Pete. Your Pete. Your fragile, vulnerable boyfriend who just really needed a hug, and you were more than happy to provide.

“How was your day?” He asked, voice slightly muffled because of his mouth’s position, buried in the valley of your breasts.

“Pretty good. I went to the mall with MJ after class and we bought a bunch of new clothes and art supplies for our trip to DisneyWorld.”

“Why do you need new stuff just to go to DisneyWorld?”

“I need Disney themed stuff.”

“You already have Disney themed stuff.”

“But I need new ones so that every time I see them they’ll remind me of our trip to DisneyWorld.”

He chuckled at your over-the-top-ness and nuzzled his face deeper into your chest.

“‘M hungry.”

“Must be cause you didn’t eat.”

“Did too!” He snorted at that.

“A Slurpee doesn’t count as food, princess.”

A silence enveloped the room and he felt your heartbeat quicken.

“I never told you I had a Slurpee.”

Oh shit.

“Y-Yeah, you did, you said you went to the mall with MJ to do some shopping and had a Slurpee after.” He was panicking but focused on playing it off as best as he could.

Spoiler Alert: he’s a very bad liar and can’t hide anything from you.

“No, I didn’t so how do you know that?”

He stuttered and incoherent sentence your way, trying and failing TRYING VERY HARD to defend himself.

“Have you been following me?”

Shitshitshit.

“N-No?” He hated that he couldn’t lie to you, one look at him and all his secrets would come out like some kind of verbal diarrhea.

You pushed him off your lap so the both of you were sitting up, looking at him with nothing short of hurt, confusion, and betrayal swirling in your beautiful sparkling eyes.

“Have you been taking advantage of EDITH and your powers to spy on me?”

He didn’t answer, simply hung his head, closed his eyes and waited for the blow-up that was bound to happen next... but it never came, only a broken whisper followed by a heart-breaking sob reached his ears.

“Do you not trust me?”

“What?” His head snapped up and he stared into your eyes, seeing the tears threatening to leak and cursing himself because he caused that, he caused his babygirl pain.

“W-Well if you're following me it must be because y-you don’t t-trust m-me.”

Your words were punctuated by a particularly loud sob and he quickly gathered you up in his arms, nuzzling his cheek on the top of your head soothingly and threading his fingers through your hair.

“Nonononononono, baby that’s not it, I promise.” He took your face between his hands and kissed your tear-stricken cheeks, resting his forehead on yours. “It’s just that... with everything that happened with Tony and Beck and my identity being revealed, then almost going to prison, thank God for Pepper, I just... I’m constantly worried that someone’ll come after you because of me, because of what you mean to me, and that I won’t be able to protect you and I just need to know you’re safe, always because you’re the most important person in my life and I don’t know what I’d without you, so I followed you and asked Karen to update me on your vitals every hour so I know you’re safe and alive, and real, and... I just need to know you’re safe.”

He took a deep breath after finishing his jumbled up explanation, finally shining light on the fears deeply installed within him for months.

“I can’t decide if that’s cute or something characteristic of a psychopath. Cause you wanna protect me but you do it by following me and invading my privacy.”

“Wha- psychopath?” You both burst into laughter, foreheads still resting against one another.

“Well, you’ve been following me around for a while. Do you have a camera in my bedroom?”

“No! Of course not! Just... in the lobby... and one facing your apartment door... and on your fire escape facing your window...”

His cheeks were flushed red and he was looking everywhere but at you, seemingly embarrassed by his predicament.

“You said you had Karen monitoring my vitals... how?”

“Oh, um... remember the bracelet I gave you for our six-month anniversary?”

You lifted your right wrist, cocking an eyebrow as if to say ‘this one’.

“Yeah, so um... I actually made that. It’s got nanosensors that monitor your heartbeat, blood pressure, sugar levels, emotional state and a bunch of other things along with a tracker that’s constantly activated. It’s all connected to Karen, so she can let me know whenever you’re in trouble...”

“Is that how you always know when I’m having a panic attack or when I’m on my period?” Your eyes softened up and an adoring smile graced your face when he nodded.

“You’re a dork.” You straddled him fully and properly, then kissed him on the lips softly.”But you’re my dork, and I love you. And I love that you want to keep me safe and that you’d be willing to sacrifice your dignity and do something quite illegal to make sure I stay safe.”

He smirked at you.

“You know, out of context that sounds a bit twisted.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled fondly at him.

“What can I say? From time to time, I sure do love me a bad boy.”

He smiled and kissed you on the lips, slow and passionate, filled with all his love and adoration and relief, pure and utter relief because you’re here, with him, and you know, and you don’t hate him, in fact, you love him even more.

He fell back on the bed, taking you with him as you resumed your previous position, only this time with you on top.

“So are we gonna mention that when Tony did the exact same thing to you you threw a fit and had Ned hack into the suit?”

“Shut up.”

That night, when Peter got back home after dropping you off, EDITH alerted him to movement on your fire escape. His heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s as he pulled up the live footage but it all turned into a breathless chuckle when he saw the surveillance video.

You had put your whiteboard in such a way that it would be seen by the camera and scribbled a ‘Goodnight baby <3′ on it.

Baby🕷️ ❤️: goodnight princess <3

And this is what I do during my English and french classes... English because I don’t need to (perks of being trilingual) and french because the teacher spends the lesson talking about stuff I already know so I really don’t care.

With that said, please stay in school and listen to your teachers... do as I say, not as I do.

Anyway, I hope you liked this little one-shot. Please don’t forget to like, comment and/or reblog if you feel like it!

Love you all, Libby <3

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acaseforpencils · 4 years

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Adrian Tomine.

Bio: Adrian Tomine was born in 1974 in Sacramento, California. He began self-publishing his comic book series Optic Nerve when he was sixteen. His comics have been anthologized in McSweeney’s, Best American Comics, and Best American Nonrequired Reading, and his graphic novel Shortcomings was a New York Times Notable Book of the year. His most recent book, Killing and Dying, appeared on numerous best-of-2015 lists and was a New York Times graphic bestseller. Since 1999 Tomine has been a regular contributor to The New Yorker. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and daughters. His latest book, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Cartoonist, a “comedic memoir about fandom, fame, and other embarrassments,” is out today.

Buy this print here!

Tools of choice:

Muji Low Center Gravity mechanical pencil

Uni 0.5 mm mint blue Nano Dia lead

Tombow Mono Zero eraser

Tachikawa school nibs

Tachikawa T-25 nib holder

Faber-Castell PITT artist pen, sizes XS, S, F, and M

Winsor & Newton series 7 brush (size 3)

Dr. Ph. Martin’s ink, either TECH or Black Star

Muji correction pen

I don't use tablets, but I do the coloring on my computer, using a bizarre mix of Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign...all in service of a coloring style that replicates the pre-digital era.

I've never tried one of those screens that you draw directly on. I mostly just use the old, non-wireless mouse that came with a computer I bought decades ago. I sometimes use a tiny Wacom Intuos, but that's really just like using a mouse shaped like a pen.

Tool I wish I could use better: Computer, tablet, Photoshop, etc.

Tool I wish existed: An intern/assistant that I wouldn’t feel guilty about employing.

Tricks: They might seem like an unnecessary or esoteric extravagance, but I will heartily endorse Dr. Martin’s Bombay pen cleaner and B&J brush cleaner. They’re both relatively cheap, and they have definitely extended the life of my nibs and brushes. (Also, I just love that these antiquated, ancillary items are still being produced, and can’t help but feel some kind of kinship with whoever else is still buying them.)

Misc: Like every other aspect of my work, I learned a lot from basically copying other artists. I was definitely influenced by the color work of Dan Clowes and Chris Ware, but I hope I've arrived at something that's a little bit my own. I think I'm a little more pastel-y and low-contrast than those guys, and sometimes I have to really force myself to type in the numbers of a bolder color if I need it for emphasis.

Even though he doesn't work digitally, I learned a lot about color from the cartoonist Seth. He taught me a lot about muddying up colors, moving them away from their primary versions, and not feeling obligated to use all the colors at my disposal.

And as far as the evolution towards a more subdued palette, you're absolutely correct [Editor’s Note: I asked him what caused his color palette to evolve from the brighter colors of his earlier work with Optic Nerve to the more subdued palette that he employees today]. When I first started making comics, I still had the comics of my childhood in my mind as my primary inspiration for color, and I carried a lot of the quirks of that influence with me for awhile. For example, if I was drawing someone with black hair, I'd think back to something like Superman, who often had blue highlights in his ostensibly black hair for some reason. I was conscientious of the fact that my work was going to be sitting on the racks in comic book stores, so I felt like I had to "fit in" to some degree. And eventually I realized that it was actually better to make something that stood out from the Marvel and DC and Image stuff, not only to differentiate my work, but also because it was truer to my own aesthetic taste.

Website, etc.:

www.adrian-tomine.com

www.instagram.com/adriantomine/

BOOK: The Loneliness of the Long Distance Cartoonist is out today. Be sure to pick up a copy here or from your favorite independent book store! You can read more about it here!

-----

Editor’s Note:You can also find more posts about art supplies on Case’s Instagram and Twitter! There is also a Patreon and a Ko-Fi account Thank you!

#Adrian tomine #Adrian tomine art supplies #Adrian to mine drawing process #Adrian tomine cartoonist #Adrian tomine cartooning advice #Adrian tomine comics advice

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softnotesnstudies-blog · 6 years

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Affordable Studyblr Materials

I have noticed quite a few posts in the studyblr community that talk about how in the community there is an emphasis on expensive things. These things include: Mildliners, tombow brush pens, macbooks and sharpies, as well as so much more. There is no issue with using these things, if you have the money to buy them and you think it’s a good investment, do it. But, a lot of us are just high school students who rely on back to school sales and thrifted decorations. Here are some of my favorite affordable things (stationery, computers, decorations, etc) to help you make your studyblr and academic journey great.

1. Bic Gelocity pens- black: I love these pens so much. They write so smooth and I use them for 90% of the notes that I write in black ink. I found these pens at Walmart for only two dollars for a pack of four pens, and occasionally they go on sale so they’re even more affordable. These pens are very long lasting and don’t smudge- which is a huge plus for me since I highlight a lot. They are 0.7 pens so the tip is not what I would call “ultra-thin” but for writing notes it is the perfect size for me.

2. Sharpie highlighters: These highlighters are so good! I use the smaller ones, but they do make bigger chisel tipped ones as well. You can find these at any store for around $2-$3, but I always check stores like Ollie’s first (discount wholesale stores) because 9 out of 10 times they have them there for only a dollar for a pack of four. I also use the clear tip yellow highlighters by them, and they are only $2-$4 as well. I love those highlighters for highlighting in books since they are more precise than the other highlighters.

3. Paper Mate Erasers: There isn’t much to say about erasers. They’re just handy to have around, especially for math and art classes. I really like the paper mate ones, though if you are on a tighter budget you should try somewhere like dollar tree and see what they have.

4. Index Cards: Most index cards are pretty inexpensive and can be used for so much. I normally write definitions, important dates, and formulas on them. I use them more for quick studying, but some people like putting a lot of information on them, whichever style works best for you. I normally use the Walmart index cards, they are only $2 for 300 (white cards).

5. Check goodwill: I love goodwill for school and office supplies. A lot of times you can find really good organizers like these:

there for only a dollar or two. They also always carry desks, bookshelves, stands and such that can help you be more organized. The last time I went there they had a very nice black desk for only five dollars. Goodwill is also a good place for books and textbooks. The textbooks may be a bit old or used, but if you just need to expand on a topic- they’re great, I even use them to self teach myself certain subjects a lot. Sometimes goodwill has school supplies, normally they have good binders and notebooks- and occasionally I find pens and pencils there. I also get a lot of coffee cups and vases from there to use on my desk, my “you are my sunshine” cup is actually fro there and that cup looks great on my desk.

6. Sticky Notes: This one is always hard. It seems like no matter where you go sticky notes are expensive. I don’t mind the ones from dollar tree, but the quality is sometimes not very good (a lot of times the paper seems very greasy). I got my favorite ones, post-it brand, from Walmart. It came with two pads of them for a dollar (pink and purple), and I got them during the back to school sale, which is a great time to pick things up. Here’s a few other ones I recommend:

Top Honor Sticky Notes

Staples Sticky Notes

Muji Checklist Sticky Notes

7. Lastly I just wanted to give a few tips for computers/ wifi: Use free wifi! I go to gas stations, the laundromat, and the library a lot if I need to work but my internet isn’t working. And if you need a computer you should try either the public library at school- I used to always stay after school to use the ones in the library- or try the library in your town. Also remember that if you do not have access to a computer or wifi, you can tell your teachers and they will normally find a way to work with you. I use a hotspot off of my phone for internet so try that!

Thank you all for reading! I know this isn’t much but you don’t need much to study, I just use one pen, a set of sticky notes, some index cards, a notebook and a highlighter. You can do it on a low budget, make sure to check dollar tree and any other discount store- they’re your friends! And comment some of your favorite affordable studyblr materials!

#softnotesnstudies #studyblr #studyspo #studymotivation #studying #study tips #study materials #pens #muji #stationery

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a-day-at-once · 5 years

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January entries #11 to #20

#11

January eleventh. How weird is it that eleven days ago, I almost didn't make it?

I still haven't told anyone else about that whole event but you, diary. Are you a journal or a diary? I'm not actually sure what the difference is.

I think I'll keep calling you a diary because 'journal' sounds too organized and official. Journals are places where people keep track of the important things in their life and plan their weeks or something shiny and special.

Right this very moment, you're a diary. Sorry to say it, pal.

Hopefully soon, you'll be a journal, and hopefully we're both around the see it.

Today, I worked a morning shift. People are just as inane about their produce at six in the morning as they are at six at night.

When I was stocking the home goods section, I saw the cleaning supplies and they caught my eye. When was the last time I'd cleaned my apartment?

A month? Two?

I thought about what would happen, should I ever get the heart to ask Leo over for dinner or a film or something. There's a good possibility that a dust bunny would swoop out from under the couch at eat him, boots and all.

Ember must be a fierce little thing to have combated them this long, after all.

On my way out from my shift, I picked up a few necessary supplies. I stood in the aisle and took the time to sniff a few things, thinking about how my apartment would soon smell like this or that instead of... Depression den and tinned tuna? I bustled in the door with the goods and Ember scattered, running to hide under the bed. Don't worry, Ember. I want to hide under there, too.

I'd been really letting the place have it for about an hour when I realized I was out of paper towels and figured I'd just stop back in at work to grab a pack and consider getting something that isn't rice and tuna for dinner. I went back into the store and picked up the paper towels, as well as some chicken (which was the special this week, not the damned tinned sausages), some cheese, a can of sauce, and a box of pasta, intending on making chicken parmigiana.

Leo waved me into his line. "I got your note," I opened as Leo began scanning my items. He flushed and I realized I'd come on a bit strong. That's what happens when you only talk to one person all day, and that one person is Susan.

"Did you?" He asked. His voice was about an octave higher than it would've been otherwise, and I gulped and scratched the back of my neck.

"Yeah! I did," I stammered. "Have. Good luck," I continued, veritably frisking myself for my wallet as he finished up totaling the groceries. "On inventory day. Yep."

I swear, in a past life I was a skilled orator. Just... Not this one. "Yeah, great!" Leo said, grinning as he looked back up at me. He peered at the things I was buying as he shucked them into bags. "New year, new you?" He waved a bottle of scented cleaner at me.

"More than you'd think," I said, shaking my head with a morbid laugh.

"Well, have fun!" Leo said, waggling his eyebrows at me. "Here's your receipt!" He handed it over and I marched to the in-store bank to borrow a pen.

I drew him a picture of me, fighting the fearsome dust bunnies in my apartment with a broom. When I went to give it to him, I saw that he was with a customer and slipped out the door.

I stuck it in the windshield wiper and got into my car.

That might actually be for the best, honestly. I don't know if my heart would hold out if I had to watch him take it from me.

Until tomorrow, diary. Maybe I'll wash my sheets and curtains tomorrow...

--hawkwarrd

#12

Today was… a surprisingly good day. It’s Saturday, so I only had a half-day at work. On my walk there, I stopped by the dollar store and picked up a pack of space-themed sticky notes. If Leo and I are going to keep up our little back-and-forth with doodles (which I really, really hope we do, they’ve already kind of become the highlight of my work days), then I don’t need him to be able to glimpse into my sad shopping habits any more than he already has. Plus, this way I can stick them pretty much anywhere without having to worry about finding a way to secure it.

When I got to my locker, there was another sticky note doodle from Leo, this one of the both of us standing back to back, armed with various cleaning supplies and taking on an angry hoard of malicious dust bunnies together.

I’m glad no one was there to see the stupid grin that split my face.

I made sure to stick the doodle in my locker in a safe place before heading in to start my shift. The shift itself was nothing special, mostly restocking with the occasional stint at the register. Leo was in charge of making the soup pyramid to display this week’s soup specials. It inspired the sticky-note doodle I left on his locker before heading home: a cartoon version of him sitting on a throne of soup cans, framed by the phrase “Bow before me, for I am your SOUPerior!”

I hope he likes puns.

As I was walking home past the canal after my shift, I walked past a young woman singing along to the song that must have been pumping through her bright yellow headphones. I was only able to catch the lyrics of what I think was the chorus before she was behind me, continuing on her journey, but what I heard made me pause.

“Give us days to be filled with small rebellions Senseless, brutal acts of kindness from us all”

And in that moment, for the first time in a long, long time, I felt inspired to write something. So, to avoid letting that little sliver of inspiration slip through my fingers like I have so many times before, I pulled out a pen and my sticky notes and started scribbling. It ended up being pretty short, but. I actually kind of like how the little poem turned out.

And it felt… good. To get words onto paper, again. Words that aren’t just my rambling thoughts or daily logs. I’m going to go ahead and copy what I wrote here so that I don’t have to worry about keeping track of the sticky notes. (Plus, my handwriting on them is barely legible considering I was standing out in the cold and the wind as I wrote it.)

with your brass knuckle kindness and determination like a grin, you won’t go down without a fight. you instill hope like a roundhouse kick, blindsiding everyone you meet with a love that’ll bruise for weeks. you plow through each and every day like you’re on a mission, a vengeful vigilante who deals blows in the art of affection. you’re scrappy — all feeling, no form, with fists raised and ready to deliver a punch of generosity so strong it sends them reeling. the force of it leaves your knuckles cracked and bleeding, this bloody benevolence all you have left to give to a world that isn’t willing to fight the way you want it to.

so you bring the battle to them, beating them senseless with your brass knuckle kindness and brutal blows of generosity, each day wearing determination like a grin

I don’t want to hope, but… it feels like maybe, maybe, things might be starting to look up.

It’s time for me to go give Ember her dinner; I can hear her meowing at me in the kitchen. Already so insistent, and she hasn’t even been here a week yet. I already can’t imagine my life without her, though. When did I become such a freaking sap, ugh

Anyways, until tomorrow.

—jadengrace1

#13

Sun, Jan/13

Today’s page begins with a fingerprint of blood on the upper corner. It looked like paint at first (because I finally have that canvas looking like more than a random blob of spread oils) but a look at my finger made it start hurting and pinching it brought out a little red tear of blood in the middle of a cut that wasn’t there before, so. It is blood.

Sorry about that, dear diary.

As if tainting your pages with summaries of days that I almost missed on isn’t bad enough for you. I can’t even recall where I hurt myself, I hardly felt it. Perhaps Ember’s claw caught on my skin when we were playing? Maybe I sliced my own finger while cooking and only just noticed. Or maybe it was you and your thin pages. Paper cuts are a bitch. How dare you hurt me like this.

I guess this makes us siblings via a variation of that idiotic blood oath dumb kids do on recess when adults aren’t looking. To that I say, believe it or not, that you’ve been doing a better job at being a brother than my own brother our whole lives.

He called me this morning, you know? Well, now you do, my silent, inanimate sibling. He called me, but I didn’t pick up; I never do any more. It’s like I started caring more about myself since I cowarded away from suicide, only thirteen days ago. Wow, I really just wrote that, didn’t I. Fuck. For once, though, he didn’t leave it at an unattended call or two; he went to the trouble of texting me. In a short, eloquent sentence, he informed me that he, his dear wife and his loving child would be delighted with my company for dinner.

I laughed with bitterness at those words, flipped my phone down on the table and went back to the beginnings of a new painting.

As if I would fucking go back there.

I have nothing against Paula, the woman is too good for someone like my brother (she always smiles at me as if she knows what’s going on inside my head, and maybe she does because it’s her job to try and figure out minds far more complicated than mine, she is a criminal psychologist after all), and my nephew is… normal. Fairly normal, for a four year old who functions better with a smartphone and a laptop than I do. (Honestly though, I bet he can hack into a small digital system and make it his own, as easily as he rocks through a level of that noisy ding-ding-ding mobile game he’s always playing, without as much as a blink). But again, it has nothing to do with Paula and nothing to do with little Ben. I can’t look at them and attach the word “family”, but I haven’t been able to do that since--

Anyway, it’s nothing to do with them.

You see, the good Reverend feels like I need his forgiveness. He thinks that I ran away from home because of some bad monster inside of me, he thinks I never got over dad and he thinks that I am what I am, that I like who I like because… I have hate inside me, and that I put this hate in here because I hold it against something he did, or something he said at some point.

I don’t honestly get it but I don’t want to understand him either. Not on his terms. And I feel like it’s a little too late for Reverend Nick to try and “fix” me.

I did just fine without him when I moved to this town. I did just fine without anyone.

My writing... has become a little disorderly for today.

- abyssiniana

#14

January Fourteenth

After yesterday, I chose to leave early for work and take a walk along the canal. I wanted to do some people watching, something calming before I had to stand at that register and deal with the unwashed masses.

I generally shy away from the fact that I, too, am unwashed.

I sat at the same spot that I had before for a little over a half an hour, making up stories for the other folk jetting around the town. The text from my brother on my phone taunted me.

My otherwise empty message notifications did much of the same.

I weighed my options as I watched the people of the town.

I could ignore Nick, like I'd done so many times before, and try my best to jam all of that back into the messy suitcase I'd left unpacked in the back of my mind, full of all the other baggage from before. It felt like it was from another person, from another lifetime. Only the call log and the text would have to know.

However, I would know. I would know that I was running away again, even though I'd already ran once.

Maybe running is what I do best. Maybe running is what got me into the mess that I'm in now. I walked to the store, turning those thoughts over and over in my mind. Am I lonely? Would I feel less lonely if I'd talked to my brother, or would all of that just make it worse? Past experiences pointed to the latter, but I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be able to talk to my family. To be able to go to dinners at their house and ask my nephew if he was excited for school and ask my sister-in-law how she'd made whatever recipe. I stole into the breakroom like a wraith, barely noticing the world around me.

The thoughts hammered at the interior of my skull as sure as my heart hammered against the back of my sternum.

Am I lonely? I got to my locker to stow away my jacket and gloves, only to notice a yellow sticky note.

Leo.

It was a cartoon of the two of us, sitting at a table with a cartoonishly large pizza between us.

"Lunch on Thursday?" It read. Leo signed it, like I needed the clarification as to who left the note for me. I folded it and put it in the back of my phone case before taking out my own pad of sticky notes.

I drew myself holding a thumb up with a big grin.

"Sure!" I wrote on it.

I didn't make a decision as to whether or not to call my brother back, but I did decide one thing.

I'm not as lonely as I think.

--hawkwarrd

#15

January 15, 2019

I have no idea how I live like this.

I realized this morning on my way to work that I had forgotten to do laundry again, and it is so overwhelming I wanna scream. Two weeks ago I told myself I’d be better off, just, not existing, and there is no better reminder of the tedium of existing as laundromats.

So, at 4 in the afternoon, after an 8-hour shift, I changed into a hoodie and sweatpants, and placed my laundry basket on my bed, prepared for the inevitable task of cleaning. Ember, in her own way, helped. She laid spread out on one pile of dirty laundry, and then when I picked it up she’d move, miffed, and settle down in a different pile, until after the third time, she moved on to the couch and observed me instead.

Having someone to glare at you was a surprisingly good motivator.

I left her behind though, to lug my basket to my Corolla and drive to the laundromat. I honestly wasn’t sure what to bring to occupy myself, so I just brought you and my sketchbook, but I don’t have any doodling inspiration, unfortunately.

So here we are, in front of the dryers. This particular laundromat is pretty out of the way, and hard to get to if you don’t have a car, which is why I go. It’s less crowded. It’s also the only one somewhat nearby that didn’t have needles in the bathroom or creepy men that sat in the corner and stared at the women that came in. Why do I live in this city I got Thai food from the place next door, (sorry I left a greasy thumbprint on this page), and put my headphones in, experiencing the unique indifference of a bunch of strangers in a shared space. Fried tofu and loud spin cycles and every human being in here at their most authentic self. Girls with no makeup on and hair up in buns, guys in t-shirts from the bottom of their closets, people on their phones in their native language and folding their underwear and melting under yellowing fluorescent lights.

The fact that I have to do this and be an adult for the rest of my life is mind-numbing. I hate that, but everyone here hates it too, so there's that I guess.

But, I have dinner. And clean clothes, and a somewhat cleaner room. And a pizza date on Thursday.

Fuck. What am I going to wear?

I don’t even know. I’ll figure it out. See you tomorrow, dear diary.

--Kearatheshadow

#16

Jan. 16

Forgive me for the language, dear diary, but no fucking way.

I had dumped the clean laundry yesterday in a haphazard heap on the coffee table to fold properly today (Hey, I already had the clothes washed, that's more than enough productivity within a twenty-four hour span), and when I woke up today, Ember had completely made a mess of the stack. Trashed. Ruined. Decimated.

Okay, okay, I kid. The little sweetheart didn't go that far, but she did pull out the furriest sweater from the middle of the stack and decided to adopt it as her bed, knocking over some clothing here and there.

But that's not what my shock is for. No, diary, I witnessed with my own two eyes, Ember's cluttering of my apparel revealed the lost treasures of time:

My Kawaii Sakura Vantasu-chan hoodie.

Like, damn, I could have sworn I lost this thing CENTURIES ago. Who would have known it was just buried under heaps of dirty clothing, crumpled paper, unthrown food wrappers and drop-out depression?

Ahem.

I put on the hoodie to try it out. It was tighter than the last time I wore it (ramen does not do the body any good) but still fit. Sakura's smiling face and vibrant purple hair contrasted with my room's dim lighting and the drab, peeling wallpaper I've been neglecting to replace. She's just as cute as I remember her. I know, I know, I'm a big geek, but I owe a lot to KSV. I still remember when I was younger, running through our old house's door, just throwing my bag and shoes into any old corner and trying to beat Nick to the remote so I could watch what was probably the fifth rerun of the show that day.

The story followed your typical student-turned-magical-girl formula every mahou shoujo anime filled, but the special thing about Sakura was how mundane some of the magic was. How she always turned back the channel right as commercials ended, how she managed to get on the train just as it was about to leave, how she had just enough change to cover that day's lunch.

Otherwise, Sakura was every other dorky kid who never did her homework on time, who was insecure about what her friends thought of her, who found it hard to trust herself, that she could defeat the monster-of-the-day. Several of the show's problems were solved not by a wave of a wand or her familiar Pi's spells, but by Sakura's wit, perservarance and positive outlook: "Things may be bad, but they won't always be."

It was a magic so simple you could believe it was real. KSV was the show that got me into art in the first place. One look at her white dress and big eyes and my elementary self thought, "I want to make something like that too!" My parents assumed it was just little kids doing little kid things, indulging me with crayons and cheap printer paper. I guess they never thought art would carry on my whole life, huh?

Who would have thought.

Ember yawned exaggeratedly loud as her tail pointed (?) right at the wall clock. Shit. I was late for work. (Guess I got magical familar of my own too?)

I hastily changed to my uniform and rushed to work. I didn't wear the hoodie to work because there's no way I'd want anyone to know I'm a loser who watches anime

Today wasn't a particularly busy day, and I spent the lull between customers reminiscing my favourite KSV episodes. The story, now that I look back at it, wasn't particularly stellar, but the animation quality I still recall was top-tier especially for the year it was made in. It was... inspiring. For the first time in months, I really felt like...

Drawing.

"Hey Susan," I called her over from my register as she was restocking cans of 'Apex Organic Sausages' (which were on sale? Again?) in the nearby aisle. "Your phone has one of those drawing apps, right?"

"Yeah, it's called Drawbot Pro, I think," she called back without looking, focusing her eyes on the tin's Nutritional Facts. Susan wasn't an idiot by any means, but she always fell for those insert-food-brand has been infected with insert-virus hoaxes, so she spent a good portion of the day reading over any new products we stocked.

"Can I borrow your phone?"

"Yeah, yeah sure. My bag's under my register." I took her phone from her bag and typed in her password, which she hasn't changed since we started working here. I really can't believe she would trust somebody like me. Susan's a good friend and I'm glad she would trust me. Her phone wallpaper was a selfie of her and her boyfriend Darell smiling goofily into the camera. Having a boyfriend must be nice

I fiddled with the app's settings and clumsily made some strokes with my finger, pausing only when a customer came by. Her phone had a bulky bejewelled case and two keychains of sheep attached that made it a bit hard to hold on to, but the screen size was wide enough that I could more-or-less make out my drawing with ease.

I spent an unholy amount of time drawing the other eye (curse you, other eye) when I felt Greg tap my shoulder. "Shift's over, Luz. You can go home now."

I looked up and realized it was getting late, the store empty. Looks like Susan had already left and forgot about her phone. I saved my drawing and made my way to the parking lot where I saw Leo about to get into his car. When he saw me, without warning he struck a ridiculous flamingo-like pose, and I just stood there wondering which alternate universe I stumbled into.

"Things may be bad," he began, and a flash of recognition, overtook me. He swung his arms Sakura-style and in unison, we bellowed, "but they don't always have to be."

We both paused for a moment and then laughed out loud (Glad there weren't any more customers left). "Dude, I can't believe you know that show!" I almost shouted, surprised by how loud my own voice could be. When was the last time I sounded that excited? "Know it? I love that show! I was pretty much spazzing when I saw you drawing Sakura back there! I was gonna ask you 'bout it but you seemed pretty immersed with drawing so I didn't want to bother you. Great art, though."

I stood there grinning like an idiot. Usually, I'd be embarassed to be seen drawing in public, but hearing Leo appreciate not only my taste in anime but my art too felt... nice.

We exchanged a few more words about the show before going our separate ways. "We still on for pizza tomorrow, right?" he asked, and I responded with the signature snappy double-thumbs up Sakura did at the end of every episode.

Let's just say I spent a good amount of the drive feeling giddy to the point I was bopping around the radio music without fear of someone outside seeing me. It feels good, just doing this. Drawing, dancing, talking to friends.

Just... living.

I fed Ember dinner as soon as I came home (And she looked at my peculiar excitement with the suspicious expressions only cats hold) and placed the Sakura hoodie I hastily threw onto my bed on a proper hanger. Well, at least I know what to wear tomorrow.

I spent the evening staring at my finished art. It wasn't perfect, sure: the colouring was all over the place and the anatomy was rusty, brought about by lack of practice, but... I drew something. I made something with my own hands. Something good, something people can and do like.

And that's more than enough.

P.S I messaged Susan online about her phone and she just replied "OH LOL i forgot i gave that 2 u holy shit my dumb ass rly out here thinking i lost it sorry was in a rush promised darell i'd teach him how to make asserole 2night. *casserole not asserole wtf. just give it to me tomm tnx :)"

- Cordaello

#17

January 17th.

I woke up in a jolt today. I had a dream - a nightmare, you can say. But I don't remember it now. I only remember it made me gasp for air and shake like a leaf. I remember I stared at the ceiling when I tried to calm down, and jumped when I felt something on my leg. But then I felt three little paws trailing from my leg to my stomach, and when I heard a purr getting closer, I finally managed to relax. Ember nuzzled her face against mine and sat on my neck, and eventually just decided to sleep with her chin on my nose. We spent twenty more minutes like this, before I had to get up.

Thank God I adopted that little angelic devil.

I didn't really feel like wearing something impressive today, but then I remembered - I meet up with Leo today for lunch. I can't not be impressive. The very thought of it made me look through my tiny closet for more than ten minutes, put on and take off at least three different outfits. Eventually I went for something simple, but just a tiny bit more elegant than my usual shirt of choice, and on top of it put my uniform. It'll be embarrassing to take extras in the bag and change there (I thought about taking my KSV hoodie but it was too much).

I'm writing my last words this morning to you with my coat on, the bag on my shoulder and this stupid giddiness in my chest.

To be continued. ︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

It's close to 11pm now. The light from my lamp is warming up my hands, and I can't help but smile.

I'll start from the beginning.

When I got to the grocery store, I found a note in my locker with a small doodle of a pizza inside a circle of sparkles and “thumbs up” signs, and the hour 12:00 written right underneath it.

I was pretty surprised - Thursday is Leo's day off usually. And that note wasn't there yesterday so he must have come here today before I did. Despite my confusion, I laughed to myself and put it with the rest of his notes I secretly keep in there, I wrote a little sticky note back and put it in Leo's locker.

I stepped into the store only to see Leo was there, standing with a cup of tea in his hand. When I asked him why he was here, he said he asked to come today anyways so he could go to lunch along with me instead of meeting me there. I told him he didn't have to, and he said, “I know, but I wanted to.”

I couldn't really argue with that. In fact, he said it in such a way I didn't want to argue at all.

Work went pretty much as usual. It was my turn to stand behind the cash box, while Greg was far in the back of the store, organizing the dairy section, and Leo was pretty close to me in the fruits and vegetables section. It was only when I jolted that I realized I was staring into nothing - but in his direction. I blinked and looked around that no one saw me embarrassing myself, and decided to occupy myself with counting the money we have in the box.

But he did approach me a few times. I told him that the pizza he drew looks tasty, and he laughed with that little shy head-tilt of his. Somehow my eyes always kept on turning him during my shift, every time I heard an occasional fruit falling down or even for no reason at all. I caught him managing to catch some of the falling fruits in mid-air and he was so excited about that every single time it happened. He was mostly with his back to me so he didn't notice I saw him - which is good, ‘cause I felt like a big idiot smiling whenever he did.

The later the hour was, the more customers came in, to the point when I thought to myself, ’why are there so many people in here before lunchtime on a Wednesday? Is there a secret holiday I don't know about?’

Luckily, right before 12:00, Susan tapped on my shoulder and told me I could go and have my break. She even brought her sister’s kids with her to help around. I thanked her more times than I should have, and hurried to go back to the locker room.

Leo found my note and turned to me right when I arrived. “Oh my God,” he told me, “do you have superpowers or something? Your note says ‘look to the right’ and the very moment I looked, you showed up!”

Sadly, I don't have superpowers, but the fact that I impressed him made me more proud than I'm willing to admit.

I took off my uniform’s shirt and stayed with the dark-red one I had underneath. Apparently I wasn't the only idiot out of the two of us that thought about doing this - he changed too, to a galaxy-themed black shirt (you have no idea how good he that looks). We both put our jackets on and brought our wallets and phones, and headed out to the cold. It was grey outside, and looked like it was gonna rain every moment, but it didn't. We walked and talked about silly things until we reached the pizza place (I never felt so comfortable around someone else before. Not even with my own previous friends). When we got in, he got quiet again, and I ordered us a family-sized pizza. I asked him if he was cool with onions and mushrooms, and he nodded in his usual timid way. While we waited for our pizza to get ready, I pulled him to one of the back tables just beside the window, and distracted him with small games, doodling and random questions.

Even after we ate, he somehow didn't get tired of me (the pizza was great by the way. It was our first time there, and hopefully it won't be the last). We sat there and took our time, got to know each other a bit better. I told him about my studies and why I left, told him about my brother but not much (he was cool with that), but I talked about Ember like she was my soulmate. He told me about the dog he used to have in Michigan, about his parents and his two sisters, and how he left and why. His dad was always tough on him, and his mom was basically doing whatever he told her. Leo’s sisters are older than him, and they left home at 18 just like he did. But they always helped, he said. His oldest sister took him in for a while when stuff with his dad went down badly, and the other found him his current apartment and sent him away. They couldn't go with him ‘cause they have their own families, but they promised to visit. I told him I hope they will.

At some point he apologized for talking so much, but to be honest, I could sit and listen to him for hours on end. I got a message from Susan that we could stay out a bit longer, so after we finished our pizza, we strolled outside. Leo saw a sign about a local festival that I didn't even notice (well at least now I know why there were so many customers earlier - there is, in fact, a secret holiday I didn't know about). We decided it'd be nice to go and see what they have, and made our way down the local park.

It was peaceful, at first. The air was fresh and the trees were big and protected us from the winds.

And then, I saw a lightning in the sky. Right after it, a huge thunder literally exploded in the clouds and Leo jumped so high I thought he'd hit a tree. I was concerned at first, but then I saw him laughing and saying, “oh god that spooked the hell out of me!” It was cute, that he laughed at his own fright. I couldn't help but laugh myself - his face was pretty funny.

Heavy rain began falling down and we decided to give up on the festival and try to take cover (the trees didn't help anymore). We held our coats up above our heads and ran back to beginning of the park, where the kids’ playground was. We found shelter underneath the slide and just waited for the rain to end, while we held each other's arms to somehow stay warm.

His hands were warm actually, somehow. Well, warmer than mine. Not as much my lamp’s light is at this moment, but still - it reminded me of him.

When the rain finally calmed and stopped, we made our way back to work, and went to the locker room to dry up.

“I had a really good time,” he told me. As always, he was smiling so shyly, I could feel my heart swell. “Sorry I'm always awkward in public places. But I did really enjoy our lunch. We should do it again.”

I agreed instantly. We got back to work, and the rest of the day went pretty fast. I thought about our lunch break all day, so maybe that's why. Susan and her kids still helped around and sadly I didn't see Leo again until I had to go. But before I went back home, I scribbled one last doodle for him: a pizza decorated with “until next time” on top.

I can't believe my days are getting better. Sometimes it's hard to believe that any of this is real. Sometimes I'm still puzzled - has it really been seventeen days? Can my life really change like that, for the better?

But I also - I dunno. I don't want to ruin anything, or get my hopes up too much. I've never kept in touch with any of my ex-friends. I've never… let myself connect with anyone like that. I have no excuse, really, I'm just a shit friend, but maybe… maybe this time is different.

Leo makes it seem different. And honestly, I really want that. I… God, I feel stupid. Even writing it is hard for me.

Fuck. Never mind. Bottom line is, I had a good day today, Leo was great…

… and now Ember is meowing at me and playfully biting my leg. I'll give her some food now, before she claims my foot as her new treat.

Maybe I'll let him meet her one day.

- hadar

#18

18th Jan 2019

I woke up a little too early today. Just now in fact.

I had a dream I want to forget, but it wasn't like most nightmares I've been having in a sort of irregular frequency. This one was the first. I don’t know what that means but I'm sure of it; it felt like a beginning, though it came from long ago.

My handwriting shakes, but for the silent, uncomplaining witness you are, it must do.

I'm trying to think of a logical way to put the dream but I can't seem to find the common thread that knits what I see and hear and think I feel into a particular plot. I think it's just a mess and the more I think about it the more I seem to add to it, with what I believe it was rather than what it truly was. Before I taint my dream with any further attempt to make it understandable, here goes:

I saw people. Do I know them, do I not, I just don't know. All I know is that their faces are painful to look at, they're all around me and it's suffocating. An arm reaches out for me, open palm, comforting touch until it starts twisting and burning but it pulls me out and I'm back home. Not this shitty apartment, it's my home the home I ran away from because they had nothing but shackles for me. I see a swing in the tree, a trail of rocks that lead to the porch, a hand in mine. Leo...? No, why are you here?! Get out get out get out, you don’t belong here-- you don't get it, he's gonna-- dad…? I'm so sorry... Dad please. I'm here, I'm home, please breathe--

...

I have zero memory of filling the page until this point. Ramblings at three in the morning do that. I'm sorry I filled you up with nonsensical garbage.

... Here's some more useless things. Susan skipped her "good afternoon" in favor of asking for details about yesterday's pizza date. That last word weighs in my tongue, or rather, my pen; a date? Wow. That’s what it was, wasn’t it?

I didn't tell her much. Not because my fluttering heart didn't have anything to say, but because I have a tendency to keep things to myself. Special things.

"Soooooo?"

"So what?" I replied, trying to focus on stacking the sardine cans in a somehow stable tower in the middle of the canned goods aisle, for the 25% promotion the store would hold for the weekend.

"SoOOOoooOo~?" She insisted in a comical sing song cadence, gesturing with her head towards Leo (who was on checkout duty, sneezing into the curve of his elbow before helping an old lady tuck away her groceries into her bag). Thank you so much, I read his lips, a kind smile towards the customer, Come again!

Had he gotten a cold because of yesterday? A slim fit denim jacket with a fluffy neckline looked amazing on him but it wasn't exactly a fitting attire for rain.

I didn't give her any details, though. "It was nice. Pizza was great. We had fun."

She giggled with an excitement I shared but didn't show.

I waved at Leo when his shift ended at five and he came over even though he didn't have to. He said he was tired, but looking forward to the weekend. Said he was going to look around town, and made it suggestive enough to sound like an invitation. I thought I had imagined that, but when I stayed quiet he pressed further, "I mean-- if you want to. You've been here longer than me, and all I know is my way between my apartment, work, and the canal." If he really wanted to learn his way around he could have asked Greg or Sylvia; they were locals and very vocal about their origins. I ended up saying I was free on Sunday, even though I'm free for the whole weekend. He smiled and said, "Good."

"Good." I said back. He chuckled adorably before excusing himself to wipe his freckled, reddened nose.

"I'll be all healed up by Sunday, don't worry." He promised with a snotty voice, and I believed him. I pointed him towards the closest pharmacy and he said I was already the best guide ever before walking through the automatic slide doors of the grocery shop and sprinting to his car, avoiding the rain as best as he could without an umbrella.

I only noticed I was smiling like an idiot, staring through the window as Leo drove away, when Greg playfully locked me under his muscled arm and messed my hair with his large hand. “Your shift isn’t over yet, you seducer. Go help that kind customer, wouldja? She’s looking for textured soy protein down in the bio aisle.”

I untangled myself from that mutant gorilla’s tattooed arms and went to help the lady. After that the day went by pretty fast, Greg let me out early, and here I am. …

For the first time in a few days my mind drifts back to the rope I kept away. The rope that was supposed to be the last piece of jewelry I'd ever wear around my neck.

As my phone rings with an incoming call from a number I wish I didn't know to see, I end this entry with the thought that I have never been so close of using the rope to choke someone else.

I picked up. I shouldn't have, I knew it.

- abyssiniana

#19

Saturday, Jan. 19th. 23:25 (11:25)

Today’s entry will be short. I don’t feel like writing much. Sean called last night. I haven’t talked to him in a while – thank God for that – and I haven’t mentioned him because honestly, Sean can just… leave. Die. Be miserably alone for the rest of his days, locked in a prison cell for all the things he’s done. Sean destroyed me. Sean was a reason for leaving. We met in High School when I was 15. All charm, of course, as they all are. He approached me, asked me to a party I wasn’t going to go to (except after that I was, apparently), and I accepted. I accepted a lot of things from him that I won’t go into. Not on paper, where I can be reminded of him every time I flip through the pages. We broke up when I turned 17 and I told myself I was going to be okay (and now look at me – 19, almost dead: what a New Year’s toast, am I right?). And then Sean, who had the audacity to call me and demand- Whatever. It doesn’t matter why he called. I’m rid of him. I’ve got Leo now, Susan, Ember, Greg… (who, to be honest, looks intimidating because he’s pretty tall and muscular, but is in fact just a marshmallow with fake cactus needles – I imagine when you’re like that nothing’s really a threat). Doesn’t mean things are perfect, but hey. I can try. Maybe. Or maybe that’s just what I’m telling myself.

- sher

#20

20th Jan 2019

I am determined to make this a good day, especially with that reminder of Sean two days ago. I’m moving on. Thank you, next.

About sometime yesterday, I realised that Leo and I hadn’t set a place or time to meet for today. I did a lot of frantic stalking on Facebook, searching for his profile, and miraculously, I found it, and we set a place and time to meet. I found his Instagram and Twitter too. His Instagram was filled with nice landscape photography. Maybe he likes photography? I’ll ask him later.

I’ve been wrecking my mind, thinking of places to bring Leo today. I don’t want to disappoint him. In fact, I’m sitting in a cafe, near our workplace, stupidly early, waiting for him to arrive. Hopefully, I don’t spill coffee over you again, dear diary.

I’m terribly stressed about this. I spent a long time crafting an itinerary, so hopefully, I don’t mess this up for both of us.

I see him walking towards the cafe. He looks fairly nervous, his head bent down slightly and earphones in his ears.

See you later. I’d rather not let Leo see me writing in you, if you don’t mind. It’s so weird that I feel like I owe you, beloved inanimate diary, an explanation.

-------------

Hi. I’m back.

Things…. didn’t really go according to plan. But not in a bad way.

I was planning to show Leo some of the more touristy places, if even you can even call it that, as well as more practical places. The store to get cheap clothes, areas to get cheap but good food, the mall, the movie cinema, you get what I mean. This isn’t a big city, but it isn’t exactly small either.

Leo, walking by side, was always nodding and smiling quietly, listening attentively to whatever I had to say. And we talked… like a lot. I found myself smiling a lot, laughing hysterically along with Leo. We covered a good amount of places, and I’m pleased with myself. I never felt like I had any right to pry, I’ve been avoiding bringing up the topic, but I was curious. So I asked Leo, “Why here? Why choose to move here?”

His shoulders sunk and he sighed softly. “I just wanted a change of picture. Get away from my parents.” He scoffed when he said that. “I used to have big dreams of moving to a big city, like New York, London, Paris. My bedroom used to be covered with posters of city skylines. Now I’m here.” He didn’t continue but didn’t look like he regretted coming here either.

I brought him to the ice skating rink, although I’ve never been. I thought maybe he wouldn’t be that interested in it, but his eyes sparked up with joy when we neared the building. He grinned at me and with the most excited expression I’ve ever seen on him, he asked if we could ice skate. I agreed, I couldn’t say no to him.

As soon as Leo put the shoes on (complaining about how clunky and bulky rental skates were), he glided across the ice, leaving me grasping to the side railings, because I’ve never skated a day in my life. My abs were getting a good damn workout (and my legs are currently screaming in pain right now), because keeping myself upright was the most exercise I’ve gotten in ages.

I fell on my face (ouch), and it was brought (very painfully) to Leo’s attention that I could not skate. So, instead of renting one of those kiddy penguin things that kids used to learn how to skate, Leo insisted on teaching me. He placed my hands in his, (his hands were so warm and comforting) and as he skated backwards, he instructed me on how to skate. Soon after, I could do it, even if I was a bit shaky and I fell a couple more times. Leo looked proud of me after seeing me skate a round, by myself, without using the handrails. I think it was worth it, just to see the look on Leo’s face.

He showed me a couple of skating tricks he learned, and I was very impressed, clapping for him and cheering. I didn’t expect him to know so much. By the time we got out, it was getting dark. I had more on my itinerary but I decided to pass it up. Hopefully, he’ll ask for another time? Maybe I’m hoping too much. I really hope he does. Leo asked if I wanted to go for dinner and I eagerly replied, starving after the whole day out. He paid for dinner, insisting that it was payment for taking him out to show him around.

Before he left, Leo passed me a sticky note, and chuckled as he said, “I haven’t given you my number. Maybe we could do this again.” And I replied, “I hope we do.” When I looked at it, I noticed he drew a little heart next to his number, and I’m dying inside just thinking about what it could mean. I’m a little worried that with his number, our sticky note exchanges at work will come to a stop, but hopefully, it won’t.

Ember is curled up next to me, purring, as I’m writing this. For fun, I texted Leo a picture of Ember, and got in response, a string of heart emojis. Suffice to say, I think it’s a pretty good day. I can’t help but think it wouldn’t have been if I had ended it at the start of this month. Maybe this year will turn out good after all.

- Lena

#ADAO #entries #11 to 20 #january #2019 #writing #creative writing #collab #mass collaboration #art #doodle

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iibons · 6 years

Text

honeyed strawberries

genre: fluff

word count: 1495

pairing: renjun x reader

warnings: none

a/n: this is my first drabble, i hope you like it :)

there was a certain dream-like quality to the library. perhaps it was the big arched oak doors that led into mouth of the first floor, or the soft maple of the bookshelves, hundreds of thousands of words entombed with within them. maybe it was the scent of rotting wood and pulpy pages and the lingering aroma of freshly-brewed coffee from the morning. but if you were honest with yourself, you knew it was because of him. he appeared to exist like a polaroid picture; blurry, soft, and with a phosphoric aura that radiated a color similar to the sun’s corona. he was like the sun, too—hard to look at but impossible not to see. and like the sun, too, you liked him from afar; you weren’t afraid of sunburns or ultraviolet rays, it was just that you knew what happened to those who ventured too close.

but damn damaged retinas. “hey renjun, i didn’t expect to see you here. what’s up?” he was sitting at an empty table by the window, appearing to be deeply involved in the manga he was reading. outside, a big redwood tree obscured the view of the city. but it was familiar to you; you knew across the street there was a run-down convenience store where you and your sibling sometimes bought watered-down slushies in the rogue heat of summer, and maybe stale pastries from the last aisle if you had money; and then there was the art supply store, and next to that seomun’s diner which was an odd coalescence of floral wallpaper and checkerboard floors, mingled with the scent of grease and burnt food. on this side of town, everything had a rain-beaten and dilapidated quality, but this library was the only one nearby so you swallowed your wits and made the walk down here. and what did you know, you stumbled upon the presence of an angel.

renjun looked up from his novel, surprised. your current acquaintance was that of an in-between, not-quite-friends, but there was some type of familiarity there; after all, you did encounter each other pretty often during school.

“oh, hello.” he smiled. your heart ballooned in your chest. he gestured to the chair next to him, where his backpack sat. the top of the table was a bit of a mess; a textbook opened to the beginning of chapter twelve, sticky notes in varying colors of pink, blue, and yellow decorating its’ surface, highlighted notes, and an assortment of pens and highlighters strewn haphazardly. and an opened container of what appeared to be…strawberries drizzled with honey. “truthfully, I should be studying for the psych quiz. but i guess i got a bit distracted.” renjun chuckled quietly. you wondered if anyone in this library knew cpr, just in case.

“ i see.” you cradled your book closer to your chest. “you like to read?” you inquired casually.

“oh—yeah,” he smiled. the balloon of your heart filled with heat; it began to roam freely around your chest. you could feel it tickling your ribs. “you can sit down, i-if you want. i mean if you have somewhere to go…”

you shook your head, quickly shouldering the strap of your bag off and onto the seat in front of you, before you took a seat in the one next to it. he’d gotten flustered—cute.

“i’m supposed to be studying. but i guess i have a hard time focusing too.” you set your book down on the table. it was a worn paperback that you’d already read tons of times, but it was one of your favorites and you never got tired of it.

“in the presence of so many words,” he gesticulated wildly, trying to encapsulate the library within his palms, “it’s hard not to.”

in the presence of celestial beings, you thought, it’s even harder.

but you just smiled. “you’re right.”

you both settled into a comfortable silence, then. he, reading the chapter in his textbook and making notes in the margins. every now and then he would look back at his notes, then the textbook, then he would scribble something down he needed to remember. you opened your paperback and pretended to read, although you were more preoccupied with what he was doing. he picked up a strawberry, watched the honey drip, before putting it into his mouth. as he bit into the soft seedy flesh, his teeth and lips became stained with crimson. strawberries and honey? an odd combination. but if he liked it, it couldn’t be that bad. his hands—his hands! what a contemplation. they were thin and slender, tendons moving at the slightest action, with pale pink nail beds. wrapped around a pencil, they moved with ease; renjun’s penmanship was meticulous and precise. he caught you staring, and you quickly adverted your gaze back to your book; but the hue on your cheeks gave you away.

“you’re friends with chenle, right? i see you guys hanging out at the promenade sometimes.”

ah, zhong chenle—a wildfire of a boy and you’d been bitten by the flames. he was chaos in a person, you thought; but controlled chaos, at least when the situation permitted it. there was never a dull moment with him.

“yeah, kind of. i helped him with his essay for literature last year and we became friends. but we don’t tell each other our deepest secrets or anything like that,” you laughed.

renjun hummed. it came from the back of his throat and you swear the sound reverberated in your own chest. he turned back to his notes, before turning to his backpack and opening the main compartment. he rummaged around until he found what he was looking for—a glossy blue folder. in his neat handwriting, the top of it read ‘psych.’ he opened it, searching for a paper.

“that’s weird,” he began, furrowing his eyebrows. “i can’t find my notes on mood disorders. would you happen to have them?”

“oh, uh yeah—“ you turned to your bag, pulling out your notebook. you found the page, before sliding it over to him. he picked up his pen and began writing. “sorry if it’s a bit messy,” you apologized.

he gave you a reassuring smile. “it’s fine, don’t worry.” the hot air balloon of a heart expanded, taking up all the room in your chest.

you’d waste so many words on him—monologues about the sunsets in his eyes and sonnets about his willowy fingers. the daffodils blooming on his cheeks. enough to fill up the entire library. so many words that no one could even read them all. you’d breathe words into existence for him, in tongues that weren’t real yet. he was just the kind of boy you went above and beyond for; you couldn’t really help it. expressing your love was on a grand scheme, simply saying it could never be enough to accurately describe how you felt.

a moment later he slid the notebook back over to you, expressing gratitude. you put the book back in your bag, offering him a smile. renjun began to collect his pens and put them in the front pocket of his bag, before organizing his notes into a neat stack and placing them in his folder and back into his bag. he closed his textbook, and put his novel on top of it. he checked the watch on his wrist. “it’s nearing noon. i guess i should head out now. thanks for um, talking with me.”

you got up, picking up your bag and sliding it onto your shoulder. “of course! it was a pleasure.” you didn’t want him to go. but you also didn’t want to brave the walk home from the library in this heat, so you understood that sometimes being disappointed is inevitable.

he stood up too, scratching the back of his head. he opened and closed his mouth, appearing to struggle to vocalize what he wanted to say. “y-you know that café by the promenade? the one that just opened? i think it’s on the corner of jongno-gu…”

you didn’t, but you nodded your head anyway.

“well, if you ever have time, maybe we could go check it out? i heard they have really good chai lattes. but if you don’t like coffee, they have like, crepes and stuff too.” he visibly gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing.

you’d pinch yourself, but that’d only look weird. instead, you said, “that sounds really nice. i would love to.”

and renjun smiled so brightly even the sun covered its’ eyes. “alright. we’ll talk more on monday, okay? enjoy the rest of your day.” he grabbed his bag and the container of strawberries, before he walked in the opposite direction, towards the back exit. he spared you one last wave before walking out. you waved back, feeling blood rushing in your ears.

you’d fallen in love with an angel, and everyone knows how the story goes…

angels were never meant to love humans. but you couldn’t help but think they had to be wrong.

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 6 years

Text

What It Means To Be An Artist

A Reader x Doofus Rick fic in where you couldn’t figure out what to buy for your boyfriend. I was inspired to write this after binging on Bob Ross

____________

You were very selective when it came to using the word artist. Like, many called themselves artists, but what did it mean? To you, you deemed anyone with a creative expression worthy to call themselves artists, and you would agree if you sincerely did. And right now, you saw the many reasons why one would want to become an artist. Coloring books, pens, a sale of photo boxes, oh yeah, this place was a crafters heaven.

The beads near the register had caught your eye, and you wondered if you should make a bracelet or something. Alright, so you were here because you wanted to buy a gift for your boyfriend, but considering how versatile he was, you didn’t know where to start. The aisles were all categorized by type and theme, and while you understood the general idea, you knew you weren’t an artist. Some of the workers offered to help, but you insisted that you knew what you were doing. An hour later, your cart still looked pretty sad considering you had only picked up a few tubes of paint and a few brushes.

If only you could stand inside the mind of an artist, have a feel for what they felt, and perhaps you would understand how they saw the world in a different light. Then, you saw it, that art smock, one that you knew you could decorate to your hearts delight. You would use shades of yellow to remind him of the Sun, highlights of crimson to remind him of your favorite shade of lipstick, touches of blue for his favorite shade of sky, and green to remind him of everything that was alive, of life, and the reasons for living. Before leaving the store, you picked up various buttons, and fabrics, smiling knowingly as though you had found the answer to life’s big questions.

_____________

He didn’t say anything when you gave him his gifts. His eyes examined everything, thoroughly checking every stitch, testing the fibers, his face serious. Damn it, he hated it, and you were about ready to find a rock to crawl under. After all the hard worked you put in, the pricked fingers, the fight with the thread ripper, you thought you were going to shrivel up and crumble. For once, you thought that maybe you could do something fantastic, something that he had never seen before, and impress him with your expression.

You apologized for being cheap, trying to be something you weren’t, and for giving him a mediocre gift. You picked up your stuff so you could go, but the sound of sniffling stopped you. His arms were wrapped around himself, his body shook with his violent sobs, and he told you not to go. You decided to let go of your stupid pride and held him tight, cooing sweet words, listing everything that you loved about him. When he calmed, he returned your affection, peppering small kisses about your forehead and cheeks.

Damn, he loved it, and he loved you, but you already knew that.

____________

Near the window, where his easel was set up, and his paints prepared, Zeta-7 was creating what you believed would be his next masterpiece. Beside him, a table held additional supplies just in case he decided to go wild with various mediums. You watched him from where you sat in the kitchen, his posture straight and confident, that goofy grin that spoke of his immeasurable happiness. God, you loved that man to pieces. Why, you wanted to kiss him breathless, but you knew you couldn’t. Being as gentle, and shy as he was, you had to control yourself, but it could wait.

Whatever allowed you to deserve this man, you wouldn’t question it.

_______________________

As the morning light illuminated the day, scaring away the shadows of darkness, a genius of a man stood, adorned in a childish smock. The lighting would soon be perfect, and with the new colors, he knew what he would paint. With swiftness, color touched canvas, and he was happy. He thought about the day before, and chuckled at his own silliness for reacting how he had, but he knew you would understand, and was glad of it.

He thought of the curve of your cheek, and the stillness of the room as your tears fell. He was a fool, because he didn’t have the words to tell you how much he loved you. Why, the words themselves were an enigma, they burned, they toiled, begging to be said, but afraid as ever he had been. You searched his face, and found the answer. Wrapped in each other’s arms, Zeta-7 was close enough to whisper, and you were close enough to shiver. Both of you had come to a point, where you did not even need words to express your sincerest desires, making Zeta-7 blush at the thought.

That memory would forever be stained upon his soul.

Before, he thought that if he did what made people happy, he would have been okay. For a long time, he lived in other people’s worlds, their cruel, dead, harsh worlds. Then he found escape, in the hues and shades, in the colors that humans could not fully perceive. And while it was nice, he had wondered if it was enough, but then you came. You were the light to his darkness, and it’s contrast gave each of you meaning.

In this understanding, he could create endless works, delve into himself, be so much himself that he forgot he could feel embarrassed, and paint. A muse, a hope, a living dream, all of it he would spill upon the canvas. His world, your world, a perfect world. This was what made life fun. That he could make these decisions. That he could create the world that he wanted to be in, a world with him, and whole lot of you.

Art was everywhere, and he just wanted you to see it.

#doofus rick x reader #rick and morty fanfic #doofus rick #j19z7 #rick j19zeta7 #rick j-19-zeta-7 #rick j19z7 #j19zeta7 #j-19-zeta-7 #my fanfic stuff #my fanfic

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adobecharacter-blog · 7 years

Text

Using the Bone Tool in Adobe Flash

A puppet is a figure of a person or other living being frequently constructed with jointed limbs, suitably painted and costumed, and moved usually on a stage by a pole or by hand from below or by strings or wires. It is usually controlled by an external force and its movement isn't inherent but is caused. Puppets are utilized to entertain in lots of actual people.

Using puppets has a lengthy history. Greeks were the first ones. Producing such shows was expensive, and considering that Greeks were fond of theatrical props, puppets were employed to take the place of actors. Puppets were made to resemble real characters and their movements are due to manipulating wires the sticks or strings.

Kinds of Puppets

The first sort of puppet is that the puppet which controlled and is typically suspended by a range of strings. Another kind is that the hand puppet, which is controlled by one hand that occupies the puppet's inside. A Ticklebug is a four-legged puppet, similar to a hand puppet by drawing attributes on the hand 21, but made. Black light puppet is lit only with black lighting with both hides the puppeteer and enriches this puppet's colours.

Other kinds are the Bunraku which originated from Japan; the Ventriloquist dummy; the Rod puppet which is very similar to a marionette; however, is operated by a pole instead of strings; the Marotte that's a simplified rod puppet that is merely a head and/or body on a pole; a Shadow puppet which is a 2-dimensional rod puppet that operated behind a display and a light source projected in the rear produces a shadow of the puppet on the screen that may be seen from the audience; the Water Puppetry which is native to Vietnam; the Wayang which is an undercover puppet; the Human-Arm Puppet or a Two-Man Puppet that's somewhat like a hand puppet but is larger and requires two puppeteers; the BuDaiXi that's a Chinese puppet series; the Digital Puppet that's a digitally animated figure; along with the Finger Puppet which is little type that just fits onto a single finger.

Want to make money with digital photography? Want your very own Photographic small business? Its wedding photography, keep reading to discover other ways of earning money and begin your own business! Here's a list of those 10.

Your very own digital, photography based, home business could begin here...

* Matchbooks. Parties, parties, birthdays, firework parties, barbecue supplies. Listed below are a sample. Or add to your ever growing lists of items. I understand people don't smoke in bars, pubs and the like anymore, but a book of matches to take home and outside, is a great advertising tool for a lot of businesses.

* Memo Pads. Memo pads are another marketing ploy, such as above, or how about the souvenir market? A good deal of small tradesmen and girls would adore a reasonably priced memo pad, that had their own name and phone number, but a striking image of these, or their vehicle. To give to their customers.

* Napkin Rings. Napkin rings, for the entertainer. Restaurants, or weddings, parties. Plenty of people would pay above store costs for an unusual gift such as this.

* Tins. Tins are everywhere, not just the obvious biscuit, flour. But other kinds of valuables, storage, old letters, old coins, nick-knacks, pencils and pens, artificial blossoms. What about the tins that seem like meals, but are? You can (no pun) get, blank tins, or just about recycling?

* Stick Puppets. Stick puppets are excellent toys, hours of enjoyment for adults (who would not like to find some politicians on a pole?) , or kids, (their mum and dad, pets, friends). You can print sticky prints that are back out to put onto card & sticks, or offer the support for individual pictures. Again gifts, souvenirs Stick to it and you may make a home business that is fantastic!

* Old Photos. A great deal of people find old photos intriguing. You've got the ones of towns and cities that a hundred decades back and the style photos. You can recreate this using a view that capture the picture doesn't contain anything contemporary and turn it to a sepia print, either digitally or with a print kit. Apart from enlargements as souvenirs, they also make great postcards. There are expensive franchises for victorian portrait businesses now, the specific same prints can be made on your computer or from kit. In the event that you desired, with clothing to change into, the portrait service could be offered by you, you pick.

* Mosaics. There are artists today who make a living producing mosaics, from photos or art. And there is great software that can do it to you. Mosaics make advertising. So put on, personalizing, or company? Do you know any contractors? A mosaic of their assumptions would look good on boards, cards,letterheads.

* Mobiles. Folks make a fantastic living making products. You see the advertisements in bulletin board or the ward and lets face it there is not a great deal while daddy is waiting to make an appearance to read! Mobiles make great gifts.

* Mugs. One of the most popular advertising medias around, they are with every image on these. Narrow focus on classes that are smaller, the market, individuals buy everything that represents their hobby or fire. I will not even begin a list here, you understand exactly what I mean... oh alright, golf, fishing, football, horses, cats, dogs, ducks, wallabies, centipedes, OK I am getting sarcastic!

Decision Shopping Bags. You'll have fun with them, they are great for humor, you know a photograph, or animation of a worn out guy, with the caption 'I store, '' he drops'. Or political such as ' **** occurs, and thus don't vote Labour.' Or your view of this town, or what ever picture. Look out for special occasions, they may need bags. Examine the bags around you, where do you think you can improve, or do they give you ideas? .

This is simply to get your brain and your creative juices going! The internet has opened up an never ending need of everything and anything. Stock photography has changed, gone are the exceptionally skilled, large format shots of models and beaches, that needed to be technically perfect, well they aren't gone, but they are not the only opportunities for aspiring photographers who want to make a living with their hobby, their own fire. Pictures which you wouldn't believe started life up anywhere and the capability is available to everyone, and in the comfort of their own home.

A children have toy for parents who wish to develop their child's technical and creative skills. Following is a list of 9 trendy camera projects for your photographer.

1. About Me Journal

Your youngster will love taking photos of their objects themselves and their environment. Print off these images and blend them into an "About Me" Journal. An alternative to this is to make a "My Day" Journal about a unique day, or even a special outing.

(Photo tip: The Vtech Kidizoom Spin and Smile makes shooting self portraits a breeze. Rotate the lens towards you to see yourself on the camera display)

2. Photo Puzzle

Just take this photo of a loved one, print it off, stick it onto card or laminate it, cut it and you've got a quick and easy to make puzzle gift!

3. What Can I?

There'll be some excellent and some not so good pictures in your children's photo library. Using present photos or by taking new photographs, get your child to challenge you to play the "Mystery Object" match to guess the name of the object in the picture.

Among the best things about After Effects is whether you can create animations that are intricate, It's used for some of the most famous Hollywood character cartoons we understand, You May Also create simple, helpful and Usable animations on your first moment.

Learning procedure or any new instrument, it is valuable to establish that the 'fundamentals', the fundamental tools that form the building blocks for this particular tool and in After Effects or any timeline based animation tool, the basics are layers and stopwatches.

What are 'stopwatches' ? Stopwatches are the point and click tool that you use to identify a place at which quality or a specific event is set, the icons. When you 'click' a stop watch you are creating a keyframe on the timeline for that property. When this event will take place, you are telling your animation. The easiest example is place. You have an animated ball, a ball that is bouncing. At position and time 0, the commencement of your animation is on a ledge. It is nudged off. 1 second, your ball's place is half way to the ground, at 2 minutes, it strikes the floor it is so on and back in the atmosphere from a bounce.

Your 'stopwatch' is the tool you use to place those keyframes, to 'lock in' a new value for the characteristic that that you are animating, in this scenario, the ball's job. At every specifying or second event above, you click on your stopwatch beside your position feature, and the position value is listed for that moment. When you play your animation back, you see the values you specified played out to the rankings you defined at the exact time you recorded.

Using After effects text animation is one of the basic tools in logo animation. When it comes to media cartoon among the design choices and which tool is best for the task depends on your logo is primarily text and can be represented with a text application whether the animations that are available for text.

Let us first look at how you would go about animating your logo if it is largely a text symbol with a few graphic highlights. One of the most effective set of presets from the Adobe is your text animations. Just about everything you can imagine, what you've observed from text tumbling to sliding in to colors, from 1 side or another and luminous can be obtained as a text preset.

Use the text tool to create your logo text, picking your font. Create. Directly across in the text 'twirl down' arrow would be the 'Animate' attribute with it's twirl down pair of animate features. Pick 'position' . You will instantly see a component Digital Puppets under your text, 'Animator 1' using it's own place component and a 'Range Selector'. Twirl open the range selector to view 'start', 'end', and 'cancel' options, each with it's own stopwatch suggesting that every property can be animated.

We know about 'a picture says a thousand words'. For a quick illustration to realize how simple it's to prepare an animation using these basic configurations, place the range selector to it's default values of 0 percent for Start, 100% for End, and 0% for Offset. Set the range selector position 0,-200 (0 for x cancel, -200 for y offset). This setting for y will position your text above your stage.

Click on the stopwatch at time '0', move your deadline to 3 seconds and move the Start value to 100%. Scrub the timeline then preview your animation. You will see your text decreasing 'out of the skies'. For one easy setting that will add another touch of diversity using a single switch, look under the 'Advanced' section of your Range Selector for 'Randomized Order' and click on this from off to on. When your characters chanced upon the stage, they appear. This is a really popular effect with television and movie introductions, commercials, and needless to say, web site logos.

Total Moons, Dogcreek, think globally, act locally. Online Designer Tom Womack uses Adobe Design Suite creating sites. Adobe is my application of choice using possibilities. I use Premiere Pro for video editing, Flash for final Web picture. I am on a learning curve that is constant and regularly update my media site.

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chloecorvid · 7 years

Text

For freshman going into art school: the bare bones recommendations

So ya chose to go to an art school... That’s great! 4 years of coffee and easy mac with a tin of paint thinner are in your future, friend!

But what do you actually need for an art school? Do you need the master set of pastels and oils or do you just need a pencil? Honestly... It depends on the school.

BUT!! From my own personal experience at the Kansas City Art Institute, I’m going to make a list of things to bring and what not to bring (at least on move in day).

HERE WE GO!

The dorm.

Every college is different on how their dorms work. Some are communal (like KCAI) some are single room apartments. But these basics should help you know what to buy and what to leave behind

( NOTE: every college has a different guide on what to bring and what not to bring. Please adhere to your school’s rules to avoid fines.)

YES list--the things you absolutely should bring

-mini fridge (2.5 cubic ft is good, if you share with your roommate you can go bigger)

-microwave; you OR your roommate. no one needs 2 microwaves.

-string lights. for when ya wanna see your desk but your roommate’s asleep.

-small trashcan. bring a pack of trashbags--draw string is the best.

-shower caddy/bag with flip flops. shower shoes are expensive, flip flops work the same.

-house shoes. for those cold days and walking to the bathroom.

-a small shelf/storage ottoman/storage seat. You want to have space to store your dry foods and textbooks, but you wanna be able to have a seat other than your desk chair.

-shoe organizer. whether it actually holds your shoes or not, this is great or organizing things. socks, cleaning supplies, hairspray and febreeze are off your desk and out of your closet.

-door mirror. you can get some pretty good ones for cheap at walmart or target. be sure of your door dimensions first though.

-2nd phone charger/long phone cable. for charging your phone in bed or at your desk. you never know how far away the outlet will be.

-fairly new power strip. just to be safe and to plug all your stuff into.

-body pillow if you don’t like cold walls.

-a notebook for each class that involves reading or note taking. you might think you can use a binder for all your classes, but easier organization and lighter backpacks are always good. also keep a highlighter and pen with each notebook. it’ll be well worth it, trust me. no one likes losing pens on exam days.

-at least 2 rolls of quarters (about $20). laundry. it costs $. at KCAI my laundry usually runs at $3.25 because i add a little more drying time.

-some sort of storage for your desk that isn’t super heavy. I’m currently using both a plastic crate from walmart for books and a cardboard box to keep stuff away from where I work.

-water filter pitcher. water purity is different everywhere, and even though the water may be clean, a lot of people get sick their first week in a new area just because of the water difference. a filter eases that discomfort just a bit more.

-folding laundry hamper. I say folding because it’s easier on move in day and it holds more. win win!

-basic cleaning supplies. messes happen.

-ETHERNET Cable. the wi-fi WILL go out while you’re at school. it’s just going to. so have an ethernet cable the proper length from the plug to your desk for your computer. (Note: ethernet is only best when the wi-fi is out. it connects to main campus computers and that’s dangerous. PLEASE only use when the wi-fi is down.)

___

NO!! list--leave this behind.

-your massive collection of books. I have too many here myself, but you’re not gonna read or use personal reference books as much as you think. Bring only what you use more than once a month.

-stereo system. no one likes overly noisy neighbors.

-pots and pans. unless you live in a swanky apartment dorm with a kitchen, you’re never gonna use that stuff. a coffee mug, bowl, and a microwave are as about as 4-star restaurant as you’re gonna get.

-movies in cases/videogames WITH cases. use a cd binder. works the same and saves space.

-a bunch of fancy clothes. you’ll really only need 2, maybe 3 nice outfits in art school. pack 2 weeks of tops with 1 week of pants. saves space and laundry you have to do if you alternate weeks. coats, jackets, and cardigans are up to your style.

-anything that takes up more floor space than your fridge or ottoman. UNLESS you know for a fact that you’re gonna set up your desk under your bed in a “T” formation, there’s not much room. so consider a floor pouf or a cushion to go behind the ottoman to make a seat with a back.

-a bunch of purses, shoes, or hats. Again, UNLESS you know exactly how the room is laid out it’s hard to figure out space. if you use a purse, 2 maybe 3 is the most you’ll need. shoes are basically this: everyday, everyday #2, shoes for rain/snow, 2 pairs of nicer shoes, and flip flops for the room if you don’t use houseshoes.

-your vast collection of coffee/tea mugs. I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to pick favorites. at most you’ll use 2-3. I personally only have 1 here and then I have my water bottle.

____

Other than those things, check with your school list when it’s available to you to see what you need and what you don’t. Once you’ve filled the checklist THEN you can start bringing other things like books, pillows, electric kettles, irons, etc.

Every school is different, and KCAI has its own guidelines on what is or isn’t allowed. See what rules you can wiggle around and disguise based on your own needs. (aka not illegal stuff. duh. but like mattress pads and extension cords.

Now that the dorm is covered, let’s get to actual art stuff!

The short answer: every school’s different. and KCAI’s freshman/ foundations year is unique compared to other schools’. The reason being is that aside from animation and film, foundation year is like a free sample buffet on what majors there are. We have still lifes, charcoal, woodshop, illustration, writing, sculpture, painting, and individualized work all year. 2nd semester is when classes get more focused but still. it’s kinda crazy but really nice in the long run.

The budget that’s recommended IS a bit um... well... depends on the teacher. I personally had a teacher who liked for us to do a bunch of stuff without fully using our materials or would have assignments where new materials would run out and we’d have to buy more.

A safe budget for supplies is about $200 per semester. Now, that’s for supplies only. Take into account food and amazon shipping and emergencies for the rest of your $.

___

Stuff you’ll need that they don’t tell you in the beginning of the year

KCAI offers a “FOUNDATION KIT” at the beginning of the year that is about $250 all together. The list they give you is well organized so you can buy stuff on your own to save money. See what you already have or can buy for cheaper prices before you buy the kit.

Now, again, every teacher is different. Here’s the BASIC list based on mine and other friends’ experiences.

-glue gun. sold in the KCAI campus art store. usually comes with foundation kit. I got a nice Superbonder dual temp. gun at Hobby Lobby with a stand. Works great and has a long cord.

-more hot glue sticks than you thought was possible. sold in the KCAI campus art store. sculpture and cardboard are gonna be big parts in the beginning of the year, but you’ll be thankful later on. be SURE you’re using dual temp. sticks and the proper size for your glue gun.

-sandpaper/ sandpaper block. sold in the KCAI campus art store. not too expensive, like $5. the sanders are gonna be busy in woodshop.

-safety goggles. sold in the KCAI campus art store. wood dust and/chips hurt. just get some simple safety glasses.

-masks. sold in the KCAI campus art store. not too expensive. get a new one every 3 weeks. about 2 needed in total.

-measuring tape. sold in the KCAI campus art store. OR go to walmart/home depot for cheaper. mine is a 12 ft self-lock one. it’s pretty good.

-painter’s tape. sold in the KCAI campus art store. I think it comes in the foundation kit, but you’re gonna run out. get at walmart for cheaper.

-(not a need but it’s super helpful) trashbag taped to your desk. saves trips to the trashcan and helps your space stay tidier.

-speedball carver. sold in the KCAI campus art store. to carve screenprinting rubber stamps when you get into pattern. PERSONALLY I ordered a set of wood whittling tools on amazon that work the same, were cheaper, and work on more than just rubber stamps (pumpkin carving!!)

-baby wipes. you don’t really NEED these, as sinks exist, but when you work with charcoal and you don’t have enough time between the next drawing or lunch, these help a bunch.

-push pins. sold in the KCAI campus art store. teachers recommend the metal ones, I just use the clear plastic ones. less distracting when critiquing.

-BIG ruler, more of a yard stick. sold in the KCAI campus art store(?) I think it comes in the foundation kit, but you can always just buy a cheaper metal yard stick or share with a friend.

-drawing pencils. sold in the KCAI campus art store. comes with foundation kit. I’m not talking #2 pencil you use all the time, I’m talking 4B and 6H and such. Get a decent set with a sharpener.

-vine charcoal. sold in the KCAI campus art store. comes with foundation kit. this charcoal goes away FAST. get an extra box before classes start.

-white chalk. sold in the KCAI campus art store. for when your charcoal is just not erasing.

-X-acto knife. sold in the KCAI campus art store. comes with foundation kit. the blade is gonna dull down eventually so get an extra for later.

-box cutter. sold in the KCAI campus art store. think it comes with the foundation kit. Now, I personally am terrified of box cutters because I over-think injury possibilities, so I just use my x-acto knife (hello dull blades). But unless you’re a scaredy-cat like me, a simple box cutter is needed.

-cutting mat, self-healing. sold in the KCAI campus art store (I thiiiiink). those weird green mats you see in sewing sections or on artist speed-draws? yeah you’re gonna need one. Big is good, small is fine too.

___

Other stuff depends on the teacher. Trips to Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Blick, Creative Coldsnow (kansas city), or other places for supplies IS gonna happen. If you don’t drive, find friends who are doing supply runs too and carpool.

Art school is crazy and it’s fun, but it IS college. So keep a weekly schedule, take notes, and do your homework.

Good luck!

#kcai #art school #college life #sorry this was later than expected i got sick last night randomly #any other specifics ya wanna know message me

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islamcketta · 4 years

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Station Eleven

When I asked my husband for Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven for Christmas, I don’t think I’d heard of the coronavirus yet. I like dark novels and have often found that reading about the worst of things makes me feel better about my everyday. Station Eleven did not disappoint, especially because the way the structure flips quickly enough back and forth between the panic of a rapidly-spreading pandemic and the life that continues (in its own way) in the way after meant I didn’t have to bear the “what if we all die” feeling that some books carry. So it was dangerous, but not too much so. It’s a very satisfying read overall with strong characters and a fresh take on life after the apocalypse. I loved the way the threads of the story eventually came together.

If you’re at all afraid, I would not suggest you read this book right now, but do put it on your list for later.

What Station Eleven Taught Me About Now

Be prepared. I do not feel the need to pack seven carts full of groceries into my home the way that Jeevan did, but we have set aside enough food and essentials that we’ll be okay if we have to self-quarantine for a couple of weeks. I’ve since read that having a little (not a crazy amount) of back-stock on hand can also help ease supply chain problems for others later.

Books matter. Not that I needed to be taught this, but the way that Kirsten clings to her copy of Dr. Eleven is an important reminder that we cling to things that make us feel civilized. And for good reason. I’ve read more prepper guides in the last month than I’ll admit, but the things that always come back to me are how humanizing small luxuries like a beloved chocolate bar or a great shower can be when we feel at our worst.

The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History

By the time I finished Station Eleven, the news of a coronavirus in China felt distant enough that I picked up the copy of The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History that my neighbor had given me as we were exchanging Thanksgiving dishes. I don’t normally read nonfiction, certainly not of the historical reportage type, but I figured if I was ever going to read that book, it would/should be after finishing Station Eleven. I’m glad I did, because I learned a lot about how viruses work and about what can go wrong in a society during a pandemic. There was far too much minutia about individual doctors for my taste, but I appreciate the work they did.

I do not believe that we are in for anything nearly as bad as the Spanish Flu, but I do think there are lessons from that time that can help us minimize the spread and mortality of COVID-19.

What The Great Influenza Taught Me About Now

Infections come in waves. There were actually two infection periods for the Spanish Flu, and those who were exposed to the first were mostly immune to (or at least suffered far less from) the second.

Viruses mutate over time. As they emerge in the human population, they are not necessarily at their most dangerous (the first spring wave of the Spanish Flu was not as lethal as the later wave), but they do mutate and over time “virulence stabilizes and even recedes”. You can read more about how this might be working with COVID-19 here.

Quarantine and self isolation helps. Not only are you limiting your potential avenues for transmission by self-isolating (before or after being infected), you are giving the disease time to mutate into something less lethal.

We are lucky to have already identified COVID-19. The Spanish Flu was not conclusively even identified as an influenza until much after the epidemic. Today researchers are working directly with an identified pathogen and trying to develop tests and a vaccine, rather than spending years trying to figure out what the disease even is.

Accurate information saves lives. During the Spanish Flu, the media in San Francisco likely saved lives by sharing accurate, unvarnished information with local citizens. This is a big worry for me at a country level because the president is more interested in his ego than in getting people the information they need to prepare. I’m looking directly to resources I trust, like King County Public Health and this map from Johns Hopkins, for my updates.

Large public gatherings are a bad idea during times of contagion. There were far too many stories in this book of public officials who were warned to cancel large events and did not. If you’re interested in specifics on how that affected mortality, this is interesting. We aren’t currently avoiding the grocery story (despite the general zombie vibe there) or daycare (the source of all contagion, really), but my workplace is closed and I’ll be skipping this spring’s slew of arts fundraising events.

The Ungrateful Refugee

This book by Dina Nayeri was an essential read for our time before the novel coronavirus. I’m still immersed in its pages, but the way she combines the memoir of her own experience as a refugee with the research she did as a new mother into the refugee waves of now is deeply artful and deeply humanizing. Her writing is as beautiful as her introspection.

What The Ungrateful Refugee Taught Me About Now

It is always easy to turn inwards and see only your own experience. It is especially important in times of crisis that we do not, to the extent that we are able.

The more we connect with others, the better we will see ourselves. When Nayeri sees a girl in a refugee camp who will not remove her pink backpack, she sees her own trauma and the need to cling to the one thing that feels like stability. And in reading about it I see ways I am paralyzing myself when I most need to find grace.

Every human deserves and wants dignity. The more we treat each other with dignity, the more we will all respond with it in kind. The way my husband described how people are treating our grocery store clerks is abhorrent. We’re all humans on this planet. If you can afford to give someone a smile or a kind word, please do.

The Plague

I actually haven’t started re-reading The Plague, so I’m not certain it’s the best thing to turn to at this exact moment, but I do recall that I read it during a particularly dark time of my life and I was very much reassured by the way Camus highlighted what Mr. Rogers would call “the helpers,” the people who went out of their way to make sure that society survived.

What The Plague Taught Me About Now

There is good in and around us. Look for it.

Do what you can to help others.

Anything that Gives You Pleasure

The one thing I very much have stockpiled in anticipation of being at home for the duration is books. I started with an indulgently large order from Powell’s and then let myself go hog wild at the AWP virtual book fair where hundreds of small presses are selling their wares, often at a wonderful discount. Read or watch anything that reminds you that COVID is only part of life.

Other Things I’m Thinking About

Kids are generally less vulnerable. According to this piece on NPR, kids go through so very many COVIDs early in life that they are not at risk now. This has to be a relief for any parent.

The digital age has added some layers of protection and stripped away others. It’s nice that many people can work from home. I wish that everyone could (or could get paid in absentia). I did wake up in a cold panic the other morning with the realization that if my husband and I both died (highly unlikely, but tell my anxiety that), my son would have no way of contacting the people who can take care of him because he doesn’t have a relationship with our phones.

Panic is paralyzing; avoid it at all costs. There are hashtags on Twitter that I won’t click anymore because the fear has already taken people way beyond a functional place. If you’re scared about something concrete, like not having a list of emergency numbers on paper somewhere handy, fix it and try to move on. Turning off the voices of panic from outside the house is not the worst idea, either (she tells herself).

Supplies are available in places other than grocery stores. We’ve been ordering nonperishables (again, only a week or two ahead) from Target. It saves us from going out and also lets people who need to get things more immediately have some hope of finding them on a nearby shelf. Free shipping over $35, but you want a week’s lead time.

Also avoiding full isolation. I don’t mean in a physical sense. If your fear/worry/general busyness has kept you from contacting your loved ones, try a text or a call. I’d planned to write some “COVID missives” to pen-pals I’ve neglected before I started writing this post (and I still will, here eventually).

Finding joy, even if in alternate universes. My husband and I have immersed ourselves in as many comedies as we can in the evenings, but the most effective panacea has been streaming a favorite design show from the UK in the 2000s. It feels good to immerse myself in something that isn’t about disease at all. And as part of our prepping, we have a new set of soccer nets arriving soon, JIC daycare finally closes.

I wish you health and peace of mind. If I read anything particularly interesting while shut in, I’ll share it with you here.

The post My COVID Reading List (And What I’ve Learned) appeared first on A Geography of Reading.

#Lit #Books #USA & Canada

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