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ineffably-human · 2 years

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guess I'm seeing enough bad takes that I'm gonna write meta about a thing I haven't even properly consumed yet, lord fucking help me

tagging this more broadly but it is about wwdits 4x9 and 4x10 leaks, mostly 4x9. here is the cut you are warned do not pass go etc etc.

So I'm not touching most of the Marwa side of things with a ten foot pole yet, because I want to hear certain specific lines in English/with full context before I determine how we, the audience, are meant to feel about how things end up with her. (Meant to is key term here.) We're gonna put that on the side table for the most part.

This is about 4x9 and Nandermo. This is about 4x9 and how it is actually good for Nandermo, in my point of view. Because if I've read summaries/translations/done Google Transcript the right way I think everyone is missing something here. Several somethings.

First of all, let me just say: this is a story in which Nandor likes the same things Guillermo likes. We'll come back to that.

Nandor specifically says he doesn't want to cheat on Marwa, marriage is important to him, he never cheated on any of his 37 wives. And he has no doubt he could steal him, but says it would be cruel to take Freddie from Guillermo.

So he reacts exactly how a narcissistic, polyamorous man with zero emotional intelligence, who's spent the last 700 years having orgies and casual threesomes with his married housemates, would react. He genuinely does not think there's a problem with what he's doing. Guillermo has a Freddie, Nandor has a Freddie, problem solved and everyone's happy.

On their twinsies dates, Guillermo says that this time with Freddie has made him realize how much he needs a life outside work, because somethingsomething about how he keeps thinking he sees Nandor everywhere and it's crazy how much room Nandor takes up in his mind. We will also come back to that.

When Guillermo finds them together, he basically says 'maybe this is a whim to you but it was important to me' and explains the seriousness of it, that Nandor has found a way to take everything from him. ("You take and you take and you take...") And Nandor could leave it at that. Because Guillermo is still video chatting with his own Freddie, and is resentfully just trying to kind of suck it up. Nandor can still have what he wants.

But Nandor doesn't leave it at that.

And he doesn't fully understand, at all. But he's genuinely happy with the Freddie situation, at least for now, as shallow as it is. And he still proceeds to try and give that up for Guillermo. To give his Freddie to Guillermo, first, although Guillermo refuses. (And again - this is a very dumb polyamorous man. He does not see the problem with this.) And then to let go of Freddie, which means letting go of Marwa, which means he has been trying to 'perfect' this marriage whim of his all season. He's finally located something that, at least for the moment, worked very well for him. And he has deliberately given that up for Guillermo.

He's chased after Guillermo before (which is reactive and based on his own needs), or tried to uplift him and make him feel included. But I don't think we've ever seen him sacrifice anything for Guillermo before. I don't think we've seen him do that for anyone.

Nandor at his worst is self-absorbed and self-involved. He's desperate for attention so he gets infatuated with the tiniest crumb of it. Someone who can take his reins, so to speak, like Jan or like Gail stringing him along - he can be incredibly giving to them, because he's aiming for the attention that comes with pleasing someone. But when someone shows him kindness or their own desire to please, he starts viewing them as an extension of his own whims. His own wishes. And that makes him happy for a while, until it bores him, and then that person is...just a little too familiar.

That's who Guillermo was for a long time. That's who Marwa is now, that's what Freddie might well have become eventually. And it means Nandor doesn't have to self-examine or deal with his insecurities, or be vulnerable, or risk rejection or loss.

But Guillermo both gives acts of service and is pushing for his own life and power. He'll both support Nandor and call him out. He's both lover and fighter. And Nandor spent season 3 starting to see Guillermo as someone whose power he could accept, someone he could trust to take care of him. Now he's starting to see Guillermo outside the lens of himself.

He keeps Marwa as Freddie because she seems happier that way. (Again, I...will deal with this post-season or at least post-episode because yeah.) He sends his Freddie back to England to try and make it up to Guillermo. And he says something along the lines of:

"Maybe love is more than someone liking all the things you like. Freddie always said he wanted to see the world. It looks like I'm the one granting wishes now." And he is genuinely hurting to see Freddie go.

Maybe love is caring about someone else's happiness over yours. Maybe love is learning to think about what others might want, and why. Maybe love is admitting you fucked up even if you don't fully understand it, taking someone else's pain seriously.

Meanwhile: Freddie. Who is open and agreeable and falls immediately into bed with Nandor, and just as easily starts snatching Guillermo's video calls away to chat with himself. Who has enough narcissism to not get bored by a copy of his own desires - instead he falls in love with himself, cheating on Guillermo in the process. Nothing about Nandor's wish forced him to do that. That's who Guillermo's first boyfriend turned out to be, and if that's true then maybe Freddie isn't who Guillermo thought he was. But Guillermo certainly isn't who Freddie thinks he is, either.

And in 4x10, he describes the breakup with Freddie as "my first serious boyfriend left me for...himself," so he doesn't blame Nandor for that either. There's a wall between him and Nandor but honestly? That's been happening all season.

4x10 is a whole other can of worms and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I wrote about it a bit before and I want to write about it again after it actually airs. But what I will say is: Guillermo talks about how nothing changes. And that's the question of the season, right? Can you change or are you going to stay the same person forever?

Does Guillermo think Nandor's Freddie left of his own accord, or does he understand what Nandor did? Does he view that as someone who is starting to change? And is that change enough?

#wwdits leaks #here there be leaks #seriously here there be fucking leaks you are warned #i am a meta gremlin #fandom: wwdits

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b0n-chann · 4 years

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Tease

Rating: M for Mando. But seriously it’s all smut and dirty talking, and some bondage and I guess Dom Mando if you really squint. And um wow where was my head with this? Like seriously how does this happen when I can’t sleep?

Also, just gonna put it out there that this gif really fucking does something for me.

The Mandalorian is a tease, and you’re almost certain he doesn’t even realize it. His touch is like fire and his kisses send a shock through your system; and more often than not, he leaves you a puddle of nerves--he always stops you both before it can be taken too far. And you can’t take it anymore. There’s only so much restraint you can handle, and you’ve decided to take matters into your own hands. You walk towards the cockpit and stand behind the pilot seat.

“I’m starting to think you don’t like me,” you say. You place your hands on his shoulders and slowly slink over him before wrapping your arms around him as you rest your chin on his shoulder.

“What do you mean?” He asks, flipping a switch and allowing the ship to pilot itself. He turns the chair so he’s facing you. He places his hands on your hips and absentmindedly strokes his thumbs over your hip bones. It takes you all your strength not to groan at the sensation. What were you thinking about again? You feel pathetic; a simple touch from this man is enough to rattle your brain.

“I mean,” you start, “I’m starting to think you’re not attracted to me. You always stop before we get too carried away. Or do you think I wouldn’t have ever noticed?” Just this morning he left you in your bed half dressed and hair mussed. You appreciated the volume your hair had after that heavy make out session, but really. “Don’t you want me?” You pout, sticking your bottom lip out slightly. You swear you hear him groan before he yanks you down into his lap, your legs straddling him.

“Of course I want you, you’re absolutely ridiculous,” he says. And he did. Does. He wants you multiple times a day if he could. But he’s nervous. He’s not inexperienced; not at all, but he thinks that you deserve more than he can offer. His experience in love making is limited, he’s never taken his helmet or his clothes off for that matter, if he’s being completely honest. Every woman he’s been with was just for the sake of release, and while he’s not proud of it he knows it’s the truth. You’re different though. He wants to take his time with you, make love to you in ways that shows you how much you mean to him. You wouldn’t be some quick fuck. But he didn’t know how to even begin.

“Then what am I doing wrong?” you ask, tilting your head to the side in question.

“Nothing, Beautiful. You’re perfect,” he says, using that damned name he loved to use when you were both alone. “And I want you, I do,” he grinds his hips into yours and you can feel him harden underneath you. “But I just don’t know how.”

Your eyebrows shoot up at this. “You’re not a virgin, are you?” You assumed he wasn’t after learning about him and Xi’an but then again, the Twi’lek was bat shit crazy.

He sighs. “No, I’m not,” he pauses. “But it’s never been like this before.”

“Like what?”

“Like this. Me and you. I don’t want it to be a quick fuck because I care about you and you deserve more than that. I want to show you how much you mean to me...but I...” he loses his words. “I’m not sure I know how. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Oh.” You immediately feel bad. Here you are, acting like a lusting whore while he wants to make love to you and restrains himself because he’s worried he’ll disappoint you. Well shit. “Din...well you could, we...uhm,” you’re at a loss for words and he smiles behind his helmet at how easily flustered you get, which gives him a dangerous idea.

“Or is that what you want, hmm, Beautiful?” He grinds you down onto his pelvis as he thrusts up again. You whimper at the delicious friction he’s giving you. “Do you want me to fuck you right here, on this chair? I’ve thought about it you know,” he says as he takes a gloved hand and drags a finger down your throat. “I’ve thought about having you everywhere on this ship, really.” He says quietly.

“Really?” you ask. You can barely concentrate. What day was it again?

“Mmm,” he confirms. He plays with the sash holding your top together before pulling it loose. Your breathing hitches as he moves the fabric out of the way. Your skin looks so soft and so smooth and fuck does he want to taste all of you. He palms your breast with one hand and presses you closer to him with the other. You lean your head against his shoulder, his touch is too much. “I want you,” he says. “But not here. We’ll save that for another time. I want to show you how much I need you. But...but I need your help. I need you to tell me if I’m too rough.”

Thoughts of having rough sex with this man races through your mind and you know he can tell what you’re thinking about when he laughs. “We have plenty of time for that, Beautiful, but please, I want to show you how much you mean to me.”

You nod, still wondering where your voice went. Normally you never have a problem with your words but this man seems take them away. You get up from his lap and take his hand as he stands. He pulls you away from the cockpit and to your room, slowly teasing you with slight touches that keep your nerves on fire. He closes the door and comes back to you, holding up the sash that had been keeping your top together only a few minutes before.

“I know this isn’t ideal, but I want to see you,” he says as he places the fabric around your eyes as a blindfold. “I want to be able to watch you come,” you hear the sound of armor begin falling to the ground. You feel his breath next to your ear and you know is helmet is off. “I want to be able to taste you,” he says, and you almost come undone right there. You let out another whimper as you hold onto his forearms, your knees weak at just his words. He moves you both backwards until you feel the edge of the bed at the back of your knees. He pushes you to lay down as he stands at the edge of the bed. “Gods, you are beautiful,” he says as he admires the view. Instinct tells him to shove his cock into you right there and give you both the release you want but he fights it, wanting to enjoy this. Your shirt is open for him and he can see that your chest is already heaving with anticipation. He’s never been able to appreciate your body like this and he doubts he’ll ever be able to forget it. You feel the bed dip as he straddles you, careful not to put too much weight onto you. His hands move up your abdomen and his lips follow. You let out a light laugh as the stubble on his chin tickles you.

“Ticklish?” He asks as he does it again. He feels the muscles in your abdomen flex.

“Usually not this much,” you reply. And it’s true. Everything just seems so much more.

“Must be the blindfold,” he says. “Without your vision, all of your other senses become,” he pauses to kiss your abdomen. “More,” another kiss, a little higher this time. “Alert.” And he takes a nipple into his mouth. You gasp and arch your back at the sensation. You’d be embarrassed at how reactive you are to his touch but it feels so good that you don’t care. He plays with the other with his hand and you can’t even imagine how much better things can get.

The Mandalorian spends his time admiring your body with his own eyes. He always thought you beautiful, but never knew how much he would appreciate his vision without his helmet on. It makes him wonder what it would be like to look into your eyes; to really look into your eyes, and for a moment he almost wants to take the blindfold off of you. But this was more than enough for now.

He secretly enjoys that he can still be in control like this, even without his armor on. But even more so, he relishes in the fact that you trust him enough to do this. To let him blindfold you and love you in the only way he can. He feels guilty, taking your vision away for this but he plans to make it up to you for it.

He looks back to your face and notices you biting your lip. He doesn’t know why that turns him on the way it does and almost groans. He takes his thumb and gently pulls your bottom lip away from your teeth before sucking on it on his own. “What is it?”

“Your clothes are still on.”

“So are yours.” He lightly drags his nose from your collarbone up to your neck and places a kiss there.

“But you can see and I want to touch you,” you tell him.

“Not this time. I want this to be for you,” he says as he full removes your top. You attempt to move your hands to his own shirt but he’s quick to shut you down. He holds both of your arms next to your head. “No, Beautiful. What did I just tell you?” He places another kiss on your lips.

“But Din...”

“I’ll cuff you if I have to.”

“You wouldn’t.” Before you know if you feel him place the metal cuffs around your wrists. “Din!”

You feel him kiss the area where the metal meets your skin. “I’m sorry, I can take them off if you want. But I really just want this to be for you.”

“...It’s okay,” you tell him, and you can feel him smirk against your skin. “I just want you to feel good, too.”

“You always make me feel good.”

“You know what I mean.” You feel him sit up for a moment and when he comes back to you, you realize he’s taken his shirt off. His warmth comes off of him in waves and it takes everything in you to not beg for his touch.

“If I’m being completely honest, I’m probably enjoying this more than you are,” he says as he gives your breasts another squeeze. Another moan escapes your mouth and he loves the sound. “That’s it, Beautiful. Let me hear you.”

“Oh, gods, Din,” you say as he continues to pepper kisses down your body. He stops at the waistband of your pants. You gasp as he nips at the elastic and it snaps back down against your skin. You lift your hips up slightly as you feel him tug them away. You’ve never felt so vulnerable before; handcuffed and blindfolded before the bounty hunter, but at the same time you’ve never felt safer. You know you can trust him.

The Mandalorian admires your exposed legs as he runs his hands up and down the length of them before he takes your form in fully. The sight of you bound and blindfolded stirred something primal in him and he almost comes right then and there. He takes one of your legs and presses his lips to your ankle and works his way up, up, up, until he’s teasing your inner thighs and you’re shaking in anticipation.

“Din, please...” you whimper. He’s built you up so much, you feel like you’ll explode immediately when he touches you. He spreads your legs slightly wider and traces a finger up and down your opening. You gasp as your hips raise off the bed before he holds you back down firmly.

“I wonder...” he starts as he goes back to teasing you. “Have you...have you ever touched yourself?”

Somewhere in the back of your mind you ironically realize that Din, a man of such few words when his armor is on, loves to talk dirty to you. You try to remember that for later use.

“...Yes.” He presses a finger inside of you as you answer. You feel your muscles flutter around his finger and you know he feels it too.

“Fuck you’re so tight,” he says. He slowly moves his finger in and out of you. “Here, in our bed?” he continues questioning you.

“Yes. And the shower.” Another finger enters you and you almost come apart right there.

“Gods you’re a fucking dirty girl, aren’t you?” His two fingers continue their lazy pace and you try to grind them into you further. “Not uh,” he says and he takes them out of you. You cry out in protest. “Are you going to be a good girl now?” he asks. “Your pleasure belongs to me, Beautiful.” All you can do is nod. He’s happy enough with that and starts to finger you again. “Now, what do you think about when you touch yourself?”

You can barely register what he’s saying until he stops pumping his fingers in and out of you. “I...I think about you fucking me.” His rhythm continues once again.

“How?”

“Oh gods, I...you...you take me from the back, hard...fast.” His fingers move faster inside of you and once he places a third finger inside of you, you can’t take it for much longer. “Din...I’m going to...”

“Come.” He commands and that’s all it takes for you to fall off the ledge. You cry out as you clamp down around his fingers. You’re seeing stars already when you realize you haven’t even had his cock yet. He slips his fingers out of you and you can hear him licking his fingers clean. “Fuck you taste so good.” You’re still trying to come down from you high but he doesn’t let you get too far. He spreads your legs wider and places them over his shoulders. “Will you...let me watch you next time?” You’re so sensitive at this point that even his breath is enough to stimulate you.

“You want to watch me touch myself?”

“...Yes.” The idea of watching you pleasure yourself makes him even harder than he thought possible.

“I’ll let you do anything if it leads us back to this.” You say and he laughs.

“Oh, we’ve barely gotten started,” he says before he licks your cunt completely. You try your best to keep your moans and screams to a minimum but he takes that almost as a challenge, running his tongue over your clit again and again as he thrusts his fingers back into you. He is relentless with his mouth, his tongue replaces his fingers and he pulls another orgasm from you. You pull against the handcuffs, and you can tell the metal is biting into your skin but you couldn’t care less. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this,” he says as he licks you again. “So fucking good.”

You can’t stand it much longer, you need his cock in you now, and you’re prepared to beg for it. “Din, please.”

“What is it, Beautiful?”

“I need you inside of me.” He gets up and you hear him unzip his pants.

“Oh is that right?” He asks as he leans back over you and you can feel him, hard, against your stomach. “You want me to fuck you? To pound into you with my cock until you scream my name?”

You moan as he bites the area between your neck and shoulder. “Please,” you say shakily. He presses a bruising kiss against your lips. The Mandalorian lines himself up against your entrance and you writhe underneath him as he teases you with it. You feel the head of his cock brush against your clit before he slowly and barely lets it slip inside of you before coming out again. He does this a few more times and you can’t stand it.

“Din,” you sob. You feel a few tears escape your eyes in frustration. Your body has never felt so alive and so on fire and you needed him. He hears the frustration in your voice and gives in. He thrusts his entire length into you and you both cry out. “Gods, you’re so warm, so tight.” He says as he starts his pace. He never wants to stop. “How are you so tight?” He asks, his hips thrusting into you again and again. You realize that you’ve never even seen his dick but he’s huge. He stretches you out completely and every time he’s fully inside of you he hits a spot that makes you see stars. The Mandalorian picks up his rhythm and holds your legs against his waist. Seeing you writhing underneath him and hearing you moan his name only encourages him more. But it’s the sight of watching his dick sink into you again and again that’s almost enough to do him in. His thumb finds your clit and he coaxes another orgasm from you that you didn’t know you had left.

He doesn’t slow down for you though, and you realize this is what he meant when he said he could get too rough. But it wasn’t too rough, it was him and it was perfect.

“Ahh, shit I’m close,” he says above you and you wish so badly that you could see his face. You imagine that his brows are furrowed and his eyes are closed in concentration as he climaxes.

“Come for me, Din,” you tell him and if it’s even possible, he thrusts even faster into you. Once again, he finds your clit and rubs you fervently and you give him what he wants.

You both come and he’s deep inside of you; you feel his cock pulse as he fills you up. He collapses on top of you, kissing any part of your skin he can reach. “You’re perfect,” he says again and again. He crawls up your body removes the cuffs restraining you, throwing them to the side. He notices how raw your wrists look and takes them into his hands. “I’m sorry,” he says as he kisses the marks.

“Can’t even feel them,” you say sleepily. Din turns off the lights and quickly returns to bed before undoing the blindfold. He lays down and you immediately go to him, your head on his shoulder and your arm and leg thrown haphazardly over his body. “I don’t know what you were worried about, by the way. That was amazing.” He smiles to himself at this and strokes your hair as you fall asleep. Only then does he allow himself to rest.

Tag list: @momc95 @electricprincess888

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ijustchangedmyname · 4 years

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Menajerimi Ara Episode 10- A Few Thoughts (Or A Rant)

Okay, so I've been watching Menajerimi Ara for a few weeks and the reaction to the last episode was what made my feelings boil over and finally forced me to voice my thoughts. I was taking numerous notes while watching which were mostly me fangirling over Dicle and Feris but I hope I sound coherent.

I'd like to start off with how much I adore Dicle. I have loved many female characters over the years (e.g recently Eda and Ceren, of Sen Çal Kapımı) but Dicle is the one I relate most to. It was her character that drew me into the story and kept me hooked. I love that she's sensitive, expressive, hardworking, quietly confident yet humble. She cries but she keeps powering through. I absolutely adore her and just want to follow her story to see her succeeding and being happy.

Rating War and Social Media

The reason that really made me write was the brief snippet I got into the fandom's reaction while going through twitter to follow the live translation. I very rarely go to twitter for fan discourse because it's too fast and crazy for my taste.

While I am glad that the day change grabbed ratings and the social media fandom is crucial in getting their views heard and making the hashtags trend, I was genuinely surprised by the few tweets I passed over regarding Emir's introduction and how the tracks were being written.

I completely agree that the writing did seem contrary at times to me. The characters seemed to be taking inconsistent decisions on the whim of the writer just to cause drama. Also, the it was more focused on the personal lives of the managers rather than the industry drama.

All of this just reinforced the reactive and extremely volatile nature of the Turkish TV Industry and the instant lashing. But it made me realise how rigid we as an audience have become.

People arguing that they want the original writing and arcs, and especially "Dicbar", while at the same time arguing that the real reason they're watching is not for the romance but the industry behind the scenes.

This was particularly reflected in the reading of Emir's character and twisting his actions - partly by the writer because he was introduced entirely as part of a triangle- to make him out to be a controlling person who will prove to be an abusive partner. I mean the reach. It leached all joy out of watching for me.

I dearly hope the writer does NOT take this direction and turn him into a psychopath or a typical antagonist down the road.

Viewing Experience

@howaboutbucky writes AMAZING reviews of the episodes and I wait eagerly for her insights each week. In her last one regarding Episode 9, she hit the nail on the head again. *chef's kiss*

I'd like to build upon what she mentioned regarding MA going the dark path of only trying to bank on woman on woman hate and tension by writing Gulin and especially Beren as they have been doing. I think Dizis suffer the same issue that romance novels in general do. The primary audience is women and it invites alot of scrutiny of women's actions by women themselves. Everything is nitpicked.

What truly angers me though is that even here if men are secondary characters or evil or have no growth arc they are still given a free pass to dwell in more shades of grey than female characters ever do. Because the writers are busy writing cliche tracks and we as an audience are busy picking it apart while male characters get to enjoy even the benefits of being ignored.

Dicle and Selflessness

As I said, Dicle has been my absolute favourite character and I loved that they had managed to balance this quality so far. However, I feel like she is going to fall victim to the 'melek gibi' leads that usually populate dizis. Her selflessness was bordering on stupidity in this episode. I liked how her honesty and goodness was shown as positive in the Burcin episode while in the first one her good intentions with Tuba backfired. How she was going to give up her job to make Kyrach's life easier but then decided that she wouldn't. I loved that she referred to "becoming a little shark" at that point as Kyrach had predicted. I wish the show would keep this balance and show Dicle's greatest strength is her greatest weakness and how she struggles to retain her integrity in the industry. That is what made me emotional.

In this episode, it didn't make me feel, her "selfless" decisions made me mad. What put me off even further was how everyone kept lauding her selflessness, as if the audience would'nt have caught on had not every character bashed us over the head with it. It was as bad as everyone apologising to Beren.

I actually would've like if they portrayed how Dicle's decisions were actually mostly selfish. Who is she to tell Barış to go make up with Beren? As a friend, that is overstepping a line. Her asking Kyrach to make sure Beren was not fired was a way to make herself not feel guilty.

The only time I thought Dicle was being herself was when she balked after finding out Feris had brought her to set to be apologised to. Dicle HAS been established as wanting to avoid conflict since the start. Emir was right on about that.

Barış

Honestly, I wish they'd give us more insight into Barış career, have him do fun friend things with Dicle or just not show him atall and we'll assume he's off with Beren or his friends or whatever. To have him just stand around and be jealous is agonising. @likeablehades and @nawaazishein did a wonderful post about Barış recently. I loved his character since the start, not to ship but just to follow his growth.

Emir

Right off the bat, Emir was written to be the complete opposite of Barış in his mannerisms, in everyway. And you know what? I liked it. I was excited by it. We were going to see another younger actor's experience close up, who was confident and comfortable with his stardom.

I wanted to find out his backstory and what kind of struggles he might face. I sincerely hope that we get to know him more not just in a love triangle but as having a growth arc of his own. I think just using him as a triangle is a reductive reading of his character by the writer. (and the audience)

I love that he's slightly icy yet straightforward. He seems mature and not emotionally constipated??

I'm sincerely hoping we get to delve more into his character and see how his and Dicle's arcs intertwine.

Parallels

I'd like to mention Barış and how he shows emotion. He has said himself that a scream builds inside him. It's interesting how he initially comes off as impulsive yet on closer examination he actually refrains from reacting right away most of the time, especially with Dicle and what we see is him hitting breaking point due to repressed feelings and then taking rash decisions.

In a way I find him similar to Dicle that he avoids confrontation, especially romantic, unless pushed hard. Throughout Barış doesnot show his emotions in the moment. He only broke up with Beren through a scene they were doing.

Perhaps it's a side effect of being an actor. He takes his craft seriously; analysing a scene, understanding a character and then embodying the emotion that fits. I think it carries over to him receding into an observer role in key situations (such as with Dicle on the terrace in Ep 10) and trying to decide the perfect response.

Another thing is how Dicle and Emir parallels Dicle and Barış; thete is a role reversal for Dicle.

I think we tend to get too attached to the first love interest. Personally, I'd love it if Barış and Dicle actually became great friends. (although a waste of chemistry :"( )

From the start, Dicle went into that relationship expecting something romantic and I never felt that she was equal. Whereas with Emir she has always been professional. Dicle doesn't avoid confrontation with Emir ever since he openly pointed out he was testing her. She never gives under pressure.

With no expectations, it feels more of an equal push and pull in their interactions even if they are not romantic.

Some random thoughts I had while watching:

- Dicle looks FIRE in all her scenes. 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

-Emir is so firmly in the clientzone lol.

- So Dicle is 22, Emir is 28. How old is Barış?

-I love the head wagging Chynar does everytime he's happy and something has been accomplished!!! (at Dicle after she told Burcin the truth and at Kyrach when he told him about Buse being hired.)

-I do womder why Barış doesn't have any friends? :"(

-Aah Feris ahh canim benim.

- I wish we'd get to see small snippets of Dicle talk to her mother more. Not only when she has a problem. I'd love to see what she says to Leyla about her work mom.

-"Other girls might like it." I don't understand why we have to put down other girls in order to be considered strong.

- Julide serving looks!!

- Honestly why is Barış with Beren?????

He has no interest. None of the younger people are in love in this show, it's just infatuation. Beren and Dicle's with Barış.

- Ugghh Deniz Can Aktaş ♡♡♡ That head movement he does as Barış. And the smile. I adore.

- Meral suggesting a BECHAMEL BOOK LMAAOO

-Is "you didn't answer my question" going to be Emir and Dicle's "phrase"?

I love that she's buying a cookbook aaah!!

- And most importantly- WHO IS LEAKING INFORMATION??!!!!!

I can't shake the feeling that it is Gulin.

#menajerimi ara #dicle #barış #baris #emir #Barış Havas #Rant #analysis #mini lb #feris #chinar #kyrach #thoughts

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littlegoldenbirdie · 3 years

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The Dance of Letters on a Screen

Out of nowhere, here's a Godzilla story I wrote God knows how long ago. Time stopped having any damn meaning at all last year, and that hasn't changed yet.

Here's a version of Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla where Instant Messaging is everybody's friend and I do mean EVERYBODY.

Warning: VERY long story ahead!

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It had fallen to Noriko to fine-tune Kiryu’s programming. She was an elite pilot, but no one trusted her enough to let her fly. Being a terribly lonely girl disliked by all, she took to pretending she was talking to Kiryu to pass the time. She’d chatter on and on as she worked, talking about what she was doing.

“Let’s see about that DNA calibration, shall we?” Streams of data flowed across the computer screen. “I’ve got to hand it to you, buddy. You’re really got things organized. I envy your future pilot. No one ever lets me fly. I’m good, but I’m not trusted.” She sighed. “Haruka was making fun of me again. Nobody ever listens to me. At least I have you to talk to, even though you don’t hear.” The screen flickered as words scrolled across it. IS SOMEONE RECEIVING THIS? Noriko yelped. “Oh man… Somebody must have hacked the system. Might as well parley with them while the system tracers do their thing. Okay… ‘Who is this?’ That should be an okay start.” She typed the question as she said it. The answer came immediately. ME. “Who is ‘me’? Well, where is this guy talking to me from? ‘Where are you?’ Talk about a logical follow-up.” HERE. This reply confused her. Scratching her head, she said, “I don’t know what to say to thatone… Well… ‘Where would ‘here’ be?’ That ought to work… I hope.” The reply shocked her. MY ‘HERE’ IS ALL AROUND YOU. She looked around and said, “That’s just not logical. Who could hack Kiryu’s systems and why would the aforementioned hacker talk to me of all people? …Uh, next question…” This time she didn’t have time to type up a question, as the mysterious hacker spoke again. YOU ARE NORIKO. This really scared her. “How would a hacker know who he has contacted? How would a hacker know to contact me here?” THERE IS NO NEED TO TYPE YOUR REPLY. I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE. Noriko fairly yelped, “He’s hacking Kiryu’s systems from so close by that he can hear me, but I can’t see him or hear him?” She shook her head. “This shouldn’t be happening anyway! The invincible Kiryu is vulnerable to a freaking hacker?” I AM HAPPY THAT YOU CONSIDER ME AS SUCH. Noriko blinked. “Okay, I have an idea. If you’re so close by, why don’t you come out where I can see you?” YOU CAN ALREADY SEE ME. She grumbled, “Wish I knew what that means… Could you at least talk to me instead of typing?” THIS IS THE ONLY VOICE I HAVE. Noriko mused, “All around me, close enough to hear me, can only communicate via computers… And he knows me? Well, okay, tell me. Who am I to you?” The reply came quickly. YOU ARE NORIKO. YOU ARE MY PILOT. “Pilot? As in… You mean to say you’re…” I AM. Her voice was tiny. “…Kiryu?” YES. “But this can’t be! Even if you are really Kiryu, you surely already know they won’t let me pilot a crop-duster, much less you!” The reply was in an enlarged font, underlined and flashing. I WILL ACCEPT NO OTHER. She said, “I can’t just tell them I’m the one who should be your pilot. They wouldn’t believe me.” THEY WILL SEE SOON ENOUGH. Noriko knew she couldn’t tell anybody about what happened, for fear of being fired because they deemed her crazy. All she could do was wait and watch the other pilots.

The first non-simulated flight came soon, and the super-elite Jiro was chosen to fly first. He climbed into the cockpit and sat at the controls, running through the pre-flight checks. Kiryu passed with flying colors, quickly being deemed more than flight-worthy. “All systems are green. We are clear for launch.” The safety umbilicals came away easily, the support towers pulling back and leaving Kiryu to stand tall on the tarmac. “Ignition in three… two… one… Hey, what the?” The ignition point came and went, with nothing happening. “There’s no response! Systems checks show no anomalies. Kiryu’s perfectly flight-capable right now, but it’s not moving! …And what the heck is this?” Jiro’s voice was completely baffled as he said, “Something weird just popped up on the tactical display. It says ‘I will not fly for you’. Okay, who’s the joker who’s been playing with the computers?” The control room’s computers went haywire then, displaying Noriko’s personnel profile and piloting credentials. “Gotta admit, this is the weirdest system glitch I’ve ever seen,” Noriko herself said as the launch was aborted.

“That was no computer glitch, was it?” CORRECT. “I knew you said you’d accept nobody else, but now they think you’re malfunctioning!” AND WHOSE JOB WILL IT BE TO FIX IT? “Oh, I get it! Not only do I cover for you, but I spend more time here with the only person who ever talks to me!” IT SEEMS LIKE BOTH OF US WIN BOTH WAYS. “Since nobody ever seems to notice me when I’m around, I hear all sorts of things. And my superiors wonder why I always seem to anticipate their actions! Basically, what I’m saying is I’ll tell you everything I hear concerning this project.” KNOWING WHAT IS COMING WILL BE VERY HELPFUL.

Since it appeared to be a computer error, Noriko was assigned to fix it. That meant a lot more time spent working on Kiryu, which, oddly, she didn’t seem to mind anymore. Other launch attempts came and went, each with the same result no matter what she did. First Kiryu wouldn’t respond no matter what, then all the computers would start displaying Noriko’s piloting credentials. “It’s starting to look like whoever’s doing this wants me to pilot Kiryu.”

“The commander told me I’d be the absolute last person he’d ever pick to pilot you, Kiryu. The entire squadron is going to take their turn trying before he’ll even consider it.” I WILL WAIT. “I don’t know, they might decide to scrap this whole thing and that means you.” I DOUBT IT. I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF PERFORMING. “You have a point, but I imagine they’re getting pretty frustrated.” THEN THEY SHOULD CHOOSE YOU. “They should, you’re right, but the commander doesn’t usually change his mind. The entire squadron’s going first, and that means they’re going to have a lot of frustrating upsets.” THEIR OWN FAULT. Noriko laughed. “You got that right. But if you’re willing to wait, I’ll wait with you.” I APPRECIATE THIS, NORIKO. “It’s all right, Kiryu. You’re the first person to care about me for a long time.” YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO CARE ABOUT ME AS MORE THAN A MACHINE. “It takes a frequently overlooked person to recognize a frequently overlooked person, I suppose. But still, I don’t know how long it’ll be before they decide to rewire your systems from scratch.” IT IS A RISK I AM WILLING TO TAKE. “Kiryu, I might be able to cover for you by claiming that this is a result of my messing up.” BAD IDEA. YOU MIGHT GET FIRED. “I know, but do you have any better ideas?” SUGGEST FALSE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS. “That’s a great idea! This should keep us both in the clear.”

One after another, the other pilots took their turns and continued to fail. Noriko dutifully checked and rechecked all the computers, each time proclaiming that she’d found the solution only to have the problem adapt to counter it. She didn’t get in trouble. Instead, they started to respect her for the fact that she wasn’t giving up even when everybody else was ready to quit. “You know,” one of the other pilots said, “You might have the right stuff to be a pilot after all.” Still, everyone else was taking his or her turn first.

“All our pilots have tried to fly you, and you’ve driven them all off. There isn’t anybody else left to try.” THAT IS GOOD TO HEAR. THEY WILL CHOOSE YOU SOON. “I hope so. I’ll bet you’re anxious for some action.” WITH THE RIGHT PILOT, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO DO ANYTHING. “You get the feeling we’re bonding?” CREATOR AND CREATION OFTEN BEGIN TO THINK ALIKE. “Think alike? If that’s true, pretty soon we’ll be anticipating each other’s actions.” THAT WILL BE A GREAT ASSET IN BATTLE. “Godzilla beware! When we team up, we’ll trash him!” INDEED.

“Noriko,” a voice startled her in the hallway. It was the commander. “As you know, we’ve gone through two dozen pilots and Kiryu still won’t respond. The prospective pilots are quitting in droves. We’ve run out of options.” She gasped and squealed, “You mean…” He nodded. “You’re the only pilot we haven’t tried. That, and you’ve spent more time working on Kiryu than everyone else put together. You should know more about it than anyone.” She saluted him and said, “You won’t regret this, sir!” He replied, “Go suit up. You’re on in five.” She dashed off in an instant.

She stepped into the cockpit she had never before seen and the computer screens came alive. Momentarily deactivating her radio, she said, “I’m in, Kiryu. It’s my turn to try to pilot you.” A nearby screen flickered. GOOD! Sitting down in the pilot’s seat and reactivating her radio, she said, “Commencing pre-flight checks… All systems are green. We are clear for launch.” As before, the safety umbilicals retracted and the support towers fell away. “Ignition in three… two… one… Now!” This time the ramjets fired and the colossal semi-robotic reptile took to the air. “All readings are optimal. Propulsion systems are functioning at peak efficiency. Noriko, you did it!” She cheered delightedly as she began to test Kiryu’s capabilities. Everything went smoothly and they passed with flying colors. The commander’s voice rang out, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have our pilot.” Noriko didn’t have to say anything. THEY PICKED YOU! FINALLY!

Noriko continued to work with Kiryu as she had before, even though she had been promoted to being a full pilot. “I never got to tell you what we’re supposed to do. I know you know we fight Godzilla, but do you know why?” NOBODY EVER TOLD ME THAT. “I’ll tell you. Godzilla likes to smash cities. When he does so, millions of people die. Each person is somebody like me, with thoughts and hopes and dreams. In this world, there’s no higher calling than to save the lives of others. And that is what we do. We are their hope, Kiryu.” WE FIGHT, FOR THEY CANNOT? “We’re the only ones who can really stand up to him, just you and me. If we fail, it’s the end. And we can’t, we mustn’t, fail. So many lives are depending on us…” I UNDERSTAND.

It was midday when she was called to fight for the first time. The alarm sounded and she was on the move instantly, suiting up and heading for the cockpit with great speed. “Okay… Flight checks are green… Clear for takeoff…” YOU ARE AGITATED. “All systems are clear. We’re ready to fight Godzilla.” I AM READY TO GO. “Okay, where’s our pickup? Ah, there they are. They’ll get us there in time.” WE ARE NOT GOING TO FLY? “…Wish this way was faster, but we have to conserve energy for the battle.” THAT IS A GOOD REASON, SEEING AS I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH. Kiryu was lifted up and taken into the ruins of a city. THIS PLACE IS WRECKED. “And there he is. Godzilla.” I SEE HIM. “Let’s start this fight. Control tower, we are entering the battle! Charge shoulder cannons. Arm missiles.” MISSILES ARE READY TO LAUNCH. SHOULDER CANNONS ARE CHARGING. “Open fire!” FIRING. The missiles pounded Godzilla, who just stood and took it, seemingly shocked out of his mind. “Keep firing! Don’t let up!” I CAN DO THAT. Kiryu advanced, continuing to pound Godzilla mercilessly. “I think we can finish this! Arm the Absolute Zero cannon!” ABSOLUTE ZERO CANNON IS CHARGING. GIVE ME A MINUTE. “Buy some time. Buy some time. Keep up the barrage!” WILL DO. Godzilla was starting to back off, and he gave a howl that pierced Noriko’s ears and stopped Kiryu in his tracks. THAT VOICE… “Kiryu?” THAT IS MY VOICE! “Kiryu!” MY VOICE, MY FACE, MY FORM… “Kiryu, what are you doing?” IS THIS WHAT I WAS MODELED AFTER?! “Kiryu, listen to me!” The screen flashed an angry red. IS THIS WHAT I AM?! The red spread across all the screens and Kiryu spoke to her no more. He turned the weapons he had used against Godzilla on the city, smashing everything in sight. Noriko tried her best to stop Kiryu’s rampage, but all she could do was wait for his energy to run out.

She waited quietly as the transport jets retrieved Kiryu and her with him. Even in the light of what Kiryu had done, she still refused to tell her secret. All she did instead was work feverishly to repair what must have gone wrong. He didn’t talk to her at first, long enough for her to wonder if he could still talk at all. Days and nights passed as she worked alone, trying to understand what had happened. A small message scrolled across the bottom of the nearest screen. NORIKO? “Kiryu! I thought you’d never talk to me again!” NORIKO, WHAT HAVE I DONE? “It’s all right. No one blames you. They all think it was a malfunction.” BUT YOU DO NOT. “I don’t blame you either. Your temper is a lot like mine.” WILL THEY DEACTIVATE ME FOR THIS? “Heck, no. You’ll be sent out to fight again, and this time we’ll dominate!” I AM RELIEVED. “Same here. If Godzilla comes again, we’ll be on the front line. And this time we won’t mess up.”

It didn’t take long. “Godzilla’s back,” Noriko barked as she dashed into the cockpit. “The Army is getting thrashed out there. We’re the last line of defense!” ALL SYSTEMS ARE GREEN. WE ARE READY TO GO. “There’s the pickup. Let’s go!” HERE WE GO. Kiryu was lifted up into the air, whereupon Noriko noticed that night had fallen. WHY IS EVERYTHING DARK NOW? “It’s called nighttime, Kiryu.” ALL RIGHT. Noriko looked ahead, to where lights stabbed into the sky. “Godzilla’s heading toward the hospital! All those people… they’ll all get killed!” WE CANNOT GET THERE IN TIME THIS WAY! “You’re right. Looks like we have to fly.” RAMJETS EXTENDED. DISENGAGING FROM CARRIER. HANG ON. “Hit it,Kiryu!” YOU GOT IT! Kiryu blasted forward like a rocket. “Land there! Our inertia will carry us into Godzilla and he’ll be sent flying!” LANDING NOW. Skidding down the ruined street at an absurd speed, Kiryu shoulder-rammed Godzilla and sent him flying. “Wow, nice one!”

Something drew Kiryu’s attention. NORIKO, LOOK DOWN THERE. She looked and saw a group of people looking back up at her. “They’re the ones we’re trying to protect. Them, and thousands like them.” I SEE. NOW, TO HANDLE GODZILLA! “Give him a short barrage, then march up and start hitting.” ALL RIGHT. I WILL. Noriko looked forward. Just ahead, Godzilla roared at Kiryu as if recognizing him. “That’s right, buddy. We’re back. And this time you won’t get away.” FIRING ALL MISSILES. HAND LASERS CHARGED AND READY. “Save those! Time to sock him but good!” The two titans clashed, locked in what appeared to be a childish shove-fest. Godzilla took a good swipe, forcing Kiryu back for a moment. NORIKO, WE ARE DOWN TO ONE SHOULDER CANNON. “We can still fight. Fire up your ramjets! We’ve got to back off a bit!” HERE WE GO. A short burst carried Kiryu backward, but Godzilla used his fire beam. NORIKO, BOTH SHOULDER CANNONS ARE OUT! “Extend your wrist blade and charge him.” WILL DO. Kiryu charged, a fairly long blade emerging from his right wrist. Before any of them knew it, he had jabbed the blade right into Godzilla’s arm. “Zap him! Give it all you can!” WRIST BLADE AT MAXIMUM CHARGE. Godzilla roared in pain as the electricity coursed through him, but he managed to backhand Kiryu into a nearby building. Noriko recovered first, with Kiryu not too long after. “Are you good to go?” RECALIBRATING INTERNAL GYROSCOPE. “So your head is spinning too, huh?” SPINNING? “Never mind.” It was then that Godzilla stomped down on Kiryu’s chest. “Do something!” DO WHAT? BOTH SHOULDER CANNONS ARE OUT, AS IS THE WRIST BLADE! Noriko looked up. The wrist blade was still stuck in Godzilla’s arm, having broken off when he backhanded Kiryu. As she watched, he pulled it out of his arm and tossed it aside. “Any ideas?” NO. NORIKO, THIS MAY BE…

Explosions erupted from off to the side, tossing Godzilla off Kiryu, who quickly got up. “Look over there! It’s a jet!” I OWE OUR FRIEND IN THE JET FOR THAT LAST ONE. “Should we do like we did before?” NO. “You’re probably right. Any ideas?” HOW ABOUT ANOTHER HIGH-SPEED RAM? “Brilliant! Fire up your ramjets, we’re going to ram him!” RAMJETS EXTENDED AND FIRING. HERE WE GO. “Oh, and charge the Absolute Zero cannon too. That way we can just cut loose.” YOU GOT IT. ABSOLUTE ZERO CANNON CHARGING. Kiryu was right in Godzilla’s face before any of them knew it. “Do like I do! Fight like a human!” I WILL TRY. Punching and kicking like a karate master, Kiryu had the upper hand and all of them knew it. “Wow, Kiryu, I didn’t know you could do that!” NEITHER DID I. A moment passed. ABSOLUTE ZERO CANNON CHARGED AND READY. “Put some distance between us, then fire when ready.” YOU GOT IT. The panels on Kiryu’s chest slid open, forming a triple-pronged energy cannon. BEGINNING FIRING SEQUENCE. Noriko looked at Godzilla. “Oh man, we are so wide open right now…” Godzilla took the open shot just as they fired. “I hope that hits… AHHH!” Kiryu was sent flying, his shot thrown off. “Oh no! The cannon will destroy everything in its path! All those buildings out there! All those people!” THIS IS BAD. I HOPE THOSE BUILDINGS ARE EMPTY.

Kiryu fell into another building. Seeing the energy readouts, Noriko began to worry. “Kiryu, can you stand?” I AM ALMOST COMPLETELY OUT OF POWER. PRIMARY SHUTDOWN SEQUENCE ENGAGED. I AM SORRY, NORIKO. “Control tower, do you hear me? We need more power here!” Other voices came. “Contact the power stations. Tell them to divert everything here.” Another said, “But that’ll put the entire city in a blackout!” The first said, “Do it. I’ll take responsibility.” Noriko waited. All around Kiryu the city went dark, the darkness stretching for miles around. She rejoiced as the power came to them, recharging Kiryu fully. NORIKO? WHAT HAPPENED? “You’re back at full power, Kiryu.” He looked around. THE CITY IS DARK… DID THE CITY SACRIFICE ITS LIGHT TO GIVE ME POWER? “We don’t have time for that! You’re back at full power, so let’s get back in the fight!” I WILL TRY TO GET UP. Kiryu struggled to his feet, only to have Godzilla shoot him in the back. He stumbled a few steps, then fell again. I DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN TAKE, NORIKO.

A great cry came from off to the side. “What? The jet!” IT APPEARS TO BE… NO! The jet had set itself on a collision course with Godzilla’s jaws. Godzilla had no choice but to leave off using his fire beam in favor of trying to get the jet out of his mouth. He tore the back half away, but the front half remained in his mouth. A voice came from within what remained of the jet. “He can’t use his beam now! Forget about me and take the shot! Take it!” Noriko was torn. “We’re wide open, but…” NO, NORIKO! THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY THAN TO SACRIFICE THE JET! An idea came to her. “Kiryu, listen to me. There is a way, but you have to trust me. Give me manual control.” MANUAL CONTROL? BUT I… YES, I WILL. MANUAL CONTROL ENGAGED. Seizing the controls in capable hands, she was in complete control as she guided Kiryu through a high-speed lunge straight at Godzilla. “Drop the jet, you scaly miscreant!” Using one hand to tear the jet free and the other to hold Godzilla’s mouth shut, she was in charge of the situation before anyone knew it. “Absolute Zero cannon; stand by.” She blasted off, carrying Godzilla along with her. “Okay, buddy, you’re coming with me!” They were headed straight for the sea. NORIKO, WHAT ARE YOU… “Trust me,” she said. They lifted up slightly, then plunged into the sea. “If it doesn’t work here, I don’t know where it will! Absolute Zero cannon… fire!” It surged through the water to touch Godzilla. Noriko didn’t get a chance to see if it destroyed him, because Kiryu was seized in the ice that formed. “Oh no, are we stuck?” I HOPE NOT.

The ice shattered all around them and Kiryu drifted to the surface. Godzilla was alive, but wounded. “We hurt him…” She cheered, “We hurt him!” As she watched, he turned and headed off. NORIKO, I CAN NO LONGER FIGHT. “I wouldn’t ask you to,” she said. I AM SORRY, NORIKO. I HAVE FAILED TO KILL GODZILLA. “Failed? Failed? No, we won! We’ve done it, Kiryu! We’ve beaten him back! The city is saved!” BUT YOU SAID I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL GODZILLA. I HAVE NOT DONE THAT. “There’ll be other chances, Kiryu,” she said, feeling something very like satisfaction. “Other battles to fight and win. It may not be next time, or the time after that, but someday we’ll beat him… and the world’s long nightmare will finally end.” There was a pause as Kiryu considered her words. I CAN LIVE WITH THAT, he finally decided.

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Okay, so that was it.

#godzilla #mechagodzilla 3

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enchantedlokii · 4 years

Text

Run

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: language, mentions of death

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Morgan Stark, Curtis Connors, Steve Rogers, FRIDAY, Bucky Barnes

Mentioned: Wanda Maximoff, Penelope (oc), Ned Leeds, Richard Parker, Mary Parker, Ben Parker, Pepper Potts

@whumptober2020 Day Nine: “Run!”

“She has to be around here somewhere,” Peter murmured under his breath, looking around for any sign of where Morgan could be. “I can feel it.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Maximoff,” Tony huffed, glancing back at the boy behind him. Despite the small smile, Peter could tell that he was being eaten alive in his mind. Peter didn’t blame him, either. He was almost as terrified as Tony was right now; because Morgan had been missing all evening.

“Her teacher didn’t see her leave with anyone?” Peter questioned. When Tony had called him and asked him to meet him on the Brooklyn Bridge, he had explained that Morgan wasn’t waiting at parent pick up that afternoon and that he had received a text from an unknown number that gave a clue as to where she might be. The only problem was that Morgan was a smart kid; a teenager now, actually, and knew not to leave with strangers. She knew the kind of danger she was in because of who she was, and she had never broke that rule before. She had to be careful even with her closest friends.

“Penny saw a man pushing her into his car,” Tony told him. Penny — Penelope was her real name, but they had always called her Penny — had been Morgan’s best friend since kindergarten. They were as close as Peter and Ned, having a sister-like relationship. He could imagine the girl was frantic right now after watching Morgan be kidnapped. “All we have is her description; a tall blonde man with one arm.”

“She couldn’t fight off a man with one arm?” Peter asked, raising a brow. “Did she not have her pepper spray?”

“I don’t know, Kiddo. I really don’t know,” Tony sighed. He started to speak again, but stopped as they reached a metal door. “Do you hear anything in here?”

Peter pressed his ear against the cool steel and listened carefully. “You are a psychopath, you know?” Yep, that was definitely Morgan. “Out of all people you decide to kidnap the daughter of an Avenger? I get it you want your spotlight moment, but that’s not a good idea.”

“She’s in here,” Peter told Tony, standing back. “Do you think your repulsors can take it down?”

“They should unless there’s any vibranium in it,” he said with a nod, lowering his faceplate. Peter leaped to the ceiling, ready to crawl inside and grab Morgan while her kidnapper was distracted.

The repulsors whined before a blast of energy shot out, effectively taking down the door. Peter felt his breath catch when he saw Morgan was strapped to a chair in the center of the room, several machines set up around her. What caught him by surprise was the familiar figure that turned to stare at them. “You!”

“Dad! Peter!” Morgan struggled against the straps on her wrists, trying to pull herself free. “This guy is crazy! He has a f*cking lizard fetish or something.”

“Language,” Peter snapped at his pseudo sister before he dropped to the ground. He turned to look at Tony behind him. “I’ll take care of him. You get Morgan out.”

“Kid—”

Peter ignored him, turning to face the scientist and pulling off his mask. “How dare you!” he cried, moving forward slowly. He grabbed the man’s shoulders and pushed him away from Morgan, towards the wall. “Is your goal to ruin my life or something?”

“I don’t even know who you are!” The man sneered.

“Oh, yes you do,” Peter barked. “You know me, Doc. Peter Benjamin Parker. Ring a bell?”

The doctor’s eyes narrowed as they filled with realization. “Richard and Mary’s boy.”

“You killed my parents!” Peter snapped, pushing the man against the wall once again. The man’s glasses fell to the ground, the frame snapping between the lenses. “You turned me into a monster! You-you’re the reason that my uncle is dead! And now-now that I’m finally happy you kidnap my sister?”

Peter shot a web at the man’s torso, strapping him to the wall. He turned long enough to see that Tony had broke Morgan out of the chair and was out of his suit, hugging her tight as he watched Peter with worried eyes. Peter blinked at him before turning back to the man. “Morgan’s right. You’re a psychopath!”

“Oh? But we’re you not the one that gave me the answer to your father’s formula?”

Peter froze, seeing the small device in the man’s hand, labeled with the Oscorp logo. Before he could react, the man was stabbing himself in the thigh. “No! No, Dr. Connors!”

“Pete? What’s going on?” Tony asked.

Peter turned, his eyes widening with horror. “Run!” he cried.

“And leave you here with this freak?” Tony snapped. “Are you crazy?”

“Go, Tony,” he said sharply. “Get Morgan out of here.” Tony didn’t respond at first and Peter heard a roar from behind. “Run!”

Tony reactivated his suit and picked Morgan up, holding her close as he started to run out of the room. The girl cried out in protest, trying to get him to stop. “Dad! Stop! You can’t leave him here!”

“Peter has superpowers. You don’t,” Tony told her, trying to keep his voice even. He wasn’t sure what this man had in mind, but he could see that it wasn’t something fun. It was obvious that Peter knew more about him that Tony did, and as much as he hated it, the boy was an adult now. He had more fight left in him than Tony, and he would be putting them all in danger by trying to help. “I’m taking you to Steve’s, then I’ll go back and help, okay? You shouldn’t be caught in the middle of this.”

“Just have FRIDAY send me a suit!” Morgan pleaded, hitting the back of her father’s suit with her balled fists. Even as strong as she was, she couldn’t even dent the metal. “Dad!”

Tony landed outside the apartment complex where Steve and Bucky lived and gently placed his daughter in front of him. “Sweetie, you know that I can’t do that,” he told her, bringing a gloved hand to her face and rubbing her cheek. “I can’t have both of my kids in danger, and Peter’s more equipped to fight than you are. He’s been doing this since he was your age.”

“Please, Dad,” Morgan begged, tears streaming down her face now. “He can’t— h-he can’t get hurt because of me. You have to let me help.”

Tony shook his head, walking up to the door and ringing the bell. He could see the look of surprise on Steve’s face as he saw him and opened the door. “Hey, is everything alright?” he asked. Tony could see Bucky sitting on the couch inside, looking up worriedly at Steve’s question.

“No, no, it’s not. I know it’s last minute, but I need you to let Morgan stay here for a bit. I have to go help Peter.”

“Completely fine. Want me to get some supplies ready? It’s closer than flying back to Manhattan.” Tony noticed Morgan tense up beside him at the assumption that they would be injured in the fight. He wanted to lie for her sake, but he honestly had no idea what they were going up against.

“Please,” he replied. He lifted his faceplate for a moment and bent over next Morgan. “Hey, I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured, her voice shaking. He pulled her in close and kissed her forehead. “Please be careful.”

“I will,” he promised. “Be good. Call your mom for me and let her know you’re okay.”

Morgan nodded and he squeezed her tight before standing and backing away. He lowered his faceplate before launching himself in the air again. “FRIDAY, connect me to Peter’s suit. Now.”

“Yes, Boss,” FRIDAY replied. Within moments, the information from his suit was displayed on his screen and he could hear Peter panting over the comms.

“Tony?” he asked quietly. There was a small noise and Peter’s face appeared on his screen. His pupils were dilated and there were scratches on his cheek, but he was alive and breathing. That mattered more than anything.

“I’m on my way, Pete,” Tony assured him. “Are you alright?”

“He got away,” Peter wheezed. “H-he got away.”

“Okay. That’s okay. Where are you?” he asked. His screen showed that there were three large rips in the front of Peter’s suit and his oxygen was a bit lower than normal. He would be terrified if the boy’s heart rate wasn’t steady at 110. Whatever was wrong, he would survive until he got him and got help.

“I, um, I’m in the sewer?”

“In the sewer?” Tony asked, noticing the hesitance in his voice. He noticed the boy’s hair was wet and his heart dropped. “Please don’t tell me. . .”

“He tried to drown me with sewer water?” Peter coughed. “Yeah, sorry. Wouldn’t be a good way to go out, would it?”

“Good thing you’re not going to,” he replied, lowering himself to the ground and opening a manhole in the sidewalk. “Don’t worry, Pete. We can deal with the smell. As long as you’re okay.”

“I’ve had worse,” Peter told him, a small smile growing on his lips. “Not the first time someone’s tried to drown me.”

“Your chest okay?”

“It hurts, but it’s not too deep,” Peter replied. “I’m just worried it will get infected. Because, you know.”

“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” Tony assured him. “Hang tight, Kid. I’m almost there. Oh, and for the record. . .”

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to have a long talk about this whole self-sacrificial attitude you have going on. You’re lucky that I had to get Morgan out of there or you would be in huge trouble.”

Peter smirked at him through the camera. “Okay, Dad,” he teased. “Just trying to be like you.”

“Oh, you little. . .”

7 notes · View notes

thorne93 · 4 years

Text

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 44)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:4474

Warnings: Language, arguing, meeting the parents song for this part: Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting home was quick, all Shannon had to do was call the tower and have one of the suits come get her. She didn’t feel like going through traffic and she also had to get home soon to be able to get Tony to agree with letting Loki be a guest at the wedding. She knew that he would never agree to it, but she knew that if she put an ultimatum on him about getting to the wedding in an ironman suit.

“JARVIS, where is Tony at right now?” she asked the Al as she headed over to the closet to change clothes

“He is currently in the common area. Would you like me call him over?” the system replied.

“Just let him know that I’d like to talk to him about some of changes to the guest list for the wedding.”

“Right away,” was all the Al replied.

Shannon spent some time looking at some of the ideas for table decor but couldn’t seem to figure out which one so she saved some she liked to have you help her pick the next day. It’d been a few minutes when Tony walked in holding two cups with what Shannon assumed was either coffee or soda.

“Hey, babe. Back from Y/N/N’s already? How was the movie?”

“Well she wasn’t there so there was no movie night…”

“Oh? So… where were you all this time?” he wondered.

“I was still at Y/N’s. I was...I spent my evening..talking with Loki,” she told Tony as she took the cup from his hand and took a sip. She noticed it was hot soda with lemon and knew he was helping her get her throat to get healed.

“What? Why? You were alone with that bag of fucked up crazy?” he asked, sounding concerned. “Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

“Relax, would you? I am more than capable of handling things if they’d gotten out of control.” She felt hurt that Tony didn’t think she was capable of protecting herself. “I’m perfectly fine, he didn’t do anything. We talked and got to know more about each other, we talked about things I didn’t think I’d ever have to tell him.” She got quiet at the end hoping not to have to discuss exactly what was said.

“You… talked? So you went over for scones and tea? Come on, Shannon. What the hell went on?” he urged. There was no possible way Shannon sat and had a civilized conversation with that maniac just for fun.

“I didn’t plan on going over to talk to him. Jeez, Tony you make it sound like we don’t deserve to get on the same page and figure out how to be around each other peacefully.” Shannon raised her voice but knew she shouldn’t let it get too far lest she want to end up back in the Med Bay. “He was there, cleaning some things and was looking at an old photo album that I had thought Y/N had gotten rid of. Turns out, she didn’t, and I remembered there were some things I had hidden in the back that he would eventually find…” She was shutting down. She didn’t like bringing up the things she’d done back before college especially with how Tony had reacted when she’d told him. “I told him some things about me to clear any future disagreements.”

“I’m sure that went well,” he muttered. “Being as he’s a mass murderer and all, I’m sure your past looked like sunshine and fairies.”

“You want to talk about mass murderers?!” she shrieked, causing the lights to flicker a moment. “JARVIS, keep Bruce on call for getting me to the med bay,” she called the Al, “and send him active vitals until he sees I need to go to the Bay.”

“Right away, Miss,” he replied.

“News flash, Tony you’re getting married to one, or did you forget? Because I sure as shit didn’t. You may not forgive him but I do. I know why he did what he did. I would have done the same too if it meant keeping you safe and alive!” Her voice got louder, thankfully the walls were thick enough that no one would hear. “You don’t think I regret the things I did before I met you? Before your father got me into school and to help me get to where I am?” She felt herself shaking and had begun to breathe harder than she should be. “Listen to me, Anthony Stark, this the only time I’m going to say it: you stop treating Loki like crap because essentially he is the me I was and I don’t take to that. Whether you like it or not I’m inviting him to the wedding and you can't stop me,” she said with determination in her voice that made men quiver when they tried to undermine her.

“We’re getting married. I won’t be bullied or threatened into inviting a terrorist there. Do you have any idea who’s attending this shindig? Who would have me possibly arrested if I invited the biggest threat Earth has seen as a guest of honor? How would that look, Shannon? We work with security agencies. We work with SHIELD, the UN. We can’t have them there. That’s a no. And that’s final.” He started to turn to leave, before he whipped back around. “And don’t ever threaten me again. This can’t work if you’re going to tell me it’s your way or the highway. You may be more powerful than me physically, but last I checked, relationships don’t work that way,” he stated, anger in his voice and face.

“So I can’t act that way why because it’s a threat to you?! But The Great Tony Stark throws a fit because things don’t go how he likes and it’s totally okay?” she seethed. “Last time I checked I also get input into who's going to the wedding seeing as I’m the bride,” she said the last word harshly. “Don’t like my decision? Keep it to yourself, like I have about who you’ve invited to the wedding… fuck this, I’m not arguing anymore.” She got up off the bed. “I’m leaving.” She walked into the closet grabbed a few things and put them in a suitcase. “I”ll be out of your way, your highness,” she mocked him as she pushed her way past him.

“Jesus, did that alien prick fuck with your mind that much that you don’t care what makes me uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice slightly raised. “Clearly you can’t be left alone with him, just another reason I don’t want him at the wedding. I can’t believe you’re even thinking of inviting him, Shannon. Just because Y/N’s gone off the deep end and she decided to fuck crazy, doesn’t mean we have to, too.”

“My mind is already fucked up before I met him, before I met you!” She stopped to turn and look at him, her eyes usually a chocolate brown were a blazing red. “You think I don’t care about what makes you uncomfortable. What about me? I’ve spent most of this relationship making sure you were never uncomfortable because you always came first!” Her voice echoed, making the pictures hanging on the wall shatter. “At any moment Widow protocol could be reactivated in me and I would be a hundred times worse than what they did. Clearly we didn’t think this wedding through…” She knew this would hurt him but she didn’t care. All she wanted to do at this moment is leave. “It’s taking all the strength I have left in me not to hurt you, Tony but the more you talk it makes it worse. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you might be the reason I’m like this? That your constant hurtful words are causing this deadly mutation to get stronger?” she asked him, completely heartbroken because he couldn’t see how much it was killing her to be there now. She grabbed her bag and walked to the door. “Maybe Loki’s a terrorist, maybe he’s done unspeakable things… but he always puts Y/N, her happiness and health, above everything else… Can you say the same?”

Closing the door after herself, she walked as fast as her feet could take her. “Miss, Dr. Banner would like to have you go to the Med Bay,” the Al system announced.

“Let him know that he can find me at my parents house that he can check my vitals there, I have some equipment there and that he is to only let Y/N know of where I am. I don’t need Tony coming to the house to make things worse.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.

“Would you like me to have the car waiting for you?”

“Yes, please.”

“It should be ready in five minutes. I’ve also Let Dr. Banner know of your request,” the Al said. “ I do hope you come home soon.” If the system could express feelings you’d think you hear a hint of sadness in its voice.

“Thank you, JARVIS, update me on any changes around here and keep Tony from coming to the house?”

“As you wish, Miss Shannon. Have a good night.”

She arrived at the lobby where the car was waiting. “Hello, Happy,” she greeted him as she got to the car. “Would you please take me to my parents?” she asked him with a sad smile.

“Certainly. Do we need to stop anywhere along the way?” he asked, taking her bag from her.

“No, just straight to them. I’ll call to let them know I’m headed their way,” she said getting in the car.

Shannon called her parents, asking if she could stay a few days. Her mom was worried that there were problems between her and Tony, but Shannon gave her the white lie that Tony was involved in something and didn’t want to be bothered, and she needed a change of scenery.

As soon as she arrived, her parents welcomed her with open arms. She said she was tired and wanted to go lie down in her old room. They nodded in understanding and got her extra blankets, wishing her a good night.

-----------------

The next morning, Shannon got a text from you.

“Yo, why aren’t you in your office or lab? I brought you some tea.”

“I’m at our parents’ house. I’m taking the day off.”

“Oh no, do you feel okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a break.”

“Oh, well let me know if you need anything. I’m going to work extra hard to finish up this project with Bruce before I leave.”

“Will do. Have a good day.”

With that, Shannon lied in bed all day, unsure what to do with herself. A little after lunchtime, she got another text from you.

“Hey, how would you feel about me introducing Loki to the parents?”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah, why not? Now is as good a time as any. Maybe he can use them as another resource while I’m away.”

“Yeah, okay, that’d be fine. Might be nice to have everyone together : )”

“I thought so too. I’ll ask Mom and Dad if it’s cool.”

With that, you called Tom and Diane and they said they’d be delighted to meet the new beau in your life. They said they’d make your favorite dinner and invite Shannon’s sister, and your somewhat adoptive sister Tracey, over.

As soon as you got home, you found Loki sitting and reading.

“Do you have a suit?” you asked as soon as you entered the apartment.

“I have the one Shannon got me for my first day with Strange… Why?”

You glanced at his black jeans and button down green shirt. “We’re meeting my parents tonight,” you informed with a wide grin as you made your way to your closet.

Loki was behind you in a flash.

“Your parents? Tonight? I… Did you think to ask me?”

“Would you have said yes?” you inquired, holding up two different dresses and comparing them.

“Probably not, which is why you should’ve asked me,” he stated, clearly upset.

You sighed and turned to him, putting your hands on his chest. “Love, they’re important to me. I’ve barely seen them since…” You trailed off, not wanting to bring it up again. “And I would love for you to meet them. I lived with your family for two months. Dinner with mine is too much to ask?”

“Well no, but… But I’m not prepared. What if they ask about our time in prison?”

“You lie and say you were busy,” you strictly ordered.

“And my family?”

“Be honest.”

“And our time on Sanctuary?”

“Pretend we were in Asgard.”

“This is a lot of lying, even for me.”

You made a face before backing away from him. “I promised them they would meet you as soon as you were free. With me going to Nebraska, I would really like it if your connections in this city weren’t limited to Shannon.”

“And if they despise me?” he suddenly asked, deadpanning the question.

A small smile came onto your face. “Impossible.”

“Really? So then they would be fine knowing you nearly killed yourself for me time and time again?”

“I think they would be more interested to know you endured great torture and brainwashing to spare me,” you countered.

He didn’t seem satisfied. His anxiety was still ebbing all around him.

“It will be fine,” you assured. “Just be yourself. If the truth comes out, it comes out. We can't hide our past or what we did forever.”

“Are you entirely sure you want to do this? Me being… who I am?” he asked uneasily.

“I’m extremely sure. They’re important to me, they’re important to Shannon, and you are my world. I’d love it if they knew I’d met the love of my life,” you responded as you wrapped your arms around his waist and looked up at him. “They’ve wanted me to meet a guy for a long time, to find my own happiness. Shannon has hers with Tony and they’ve wanted that for me. They’ll be thrilled to know I’ve found it. Not everyone looks for the flaws in other people,” you gently, but strictly, reminded as you let go to continue getting dressed.

“Then I will do this. I’ve wanted to meet them for some time, if I’m honest. I just wasn’t sure you wanted them to meet me,” he admitted sheepishly, toying with his hands.

“I’ve wanted them to meet you since we met on Asgard,” you confessed.

“Bit early, don’t you think?” he teased as he went to his own closet.

“Never too early to know you’ve found the one,” you shot back with an endearing, playful smile.

At that, the two of you got ready. He helped you into your dress and you helped him with his tie. It finally felt like things were coming together for you two.

____

Back at the house, Shannon had confirmed the time that you and Loki would arrive so that gave them a good amount of time to get everything prepped and ready to start making. Shannon and Diane had been in the kitchen working together to get dinner done. Seeing as Shannon was very quiet, her mom decided that she'd make some light conversation.

“So how’s work been? Seems like things have been busy since neither of you three have stopped by for dinner,” she said while slicing up the green peppers.

“Things have been pretty busy with each of us doing our own projects and with working with Shield more than ever, things have been stressful. I’m sorry none of us have come to visit you,” she told her mother as she stirred the contents in the pot. “I’ll make it up to you though, I have missed you guys so much though.”

“Have you made any new progress on details for the wedding? Finally picked out the dress yet?” She seemed to have a million questions about the wedding but Shannon was in no mood to talk about anything related to the wedding with the current situation that she and Tony were in.

“Umm… still haven’t picked out a dress yet. Y/N and I are going next week though….could you pass me the peppers? Looks like the pan is ready for them,” she replied hoping it would be enough to satisfy her mother. All the other questions were given short answers.

“Shannon, is everything alright? It seems like you don’t want to know or hear about anything for the wedding. Is there anyway that I can help?” Diane hated seeing how Shannon was currently acting but she knew better than to ask Tony. For all she knew Shannon could have come home without telling him. She would never betray her daughter’s trust in such a way. “So what’s Loki like?”

Hearing her mother drop the subject of the wedding things seem to make Shannon visibly relax. “Well he’s very reserved. Tends to spend his time reading or spending it with Y/N or working with Stephen. Who, by the way, says hello and hopes you stop by for some tea.”

“Thank you for letting me now, dear. It’s good to hear from him, let him know I’ll be by soon.”

They both went back to cooking and making sure the last few details were done.

Diane had made a mental note to ask you to talk to Shannon about what’s going on because she knew that there’s something she’s not being told but didn’t want to seem like she’s pushing for answers. She was also excited to see her three daughters in the house again making her feel loved twice as much as she always does.

Tracey arrived first, catching up with her family. She said she wasn’t currently seeing anyone, but that might change as she had her eye on a guy at the hospital. About fifteen minutes after she showed up, you and Loki arrived. You knocked on the door before turning to him and making sure his tie was straight.

Tracey answered the door, her face unreadable for a moment.

“Oh, you must be the famous Loki that I keep hearing about,” she said in a delighted tone as she shook his hand.

“Easy, Trace,” you admonished lightly as you closed the door behind you. It was cute how she wanted to see him, but you didn’t need your family scaring him off.

“It’s quite alright,” Loki assured

“Mom, Dad! He’s here!” Tracey announced loudly as she danced into the kitchen.

Her action made you blush as you looked up to Loki, holding his hand. “Sorry about that,” you apologized.

“Oh! They’re here!” Diane gushed as she emerged from the kitchen in a stylish new dress. “Dinner will be on the table in just a moment, feel free to make yourself at home,” she encouraged. “Y/N, it’s so good to see you,” she said warmly before running back in.

The next second, Tom emerged from the hall. “Hey! There she is! It’s been too long, kiddo.” He pulled you into a hug, almost too tight where you couldn’t breathe.

Once he finally let you go and the wind got back into your lungs, you agreed. “I know. I’m here now though. Tom, please meet my…” The word boyfriend didn’t sound right. He was much more than that. He was your everything. But you two weren’t engaged or married, but partner didn’t quite fit either. “Loki, this is Loki,” you said, starting again.

Loki shot you a quick look of confusion before extending his hand to your surrogate father. “Nice to meet you,” Loki offered.

“You as well. Shall we sit?” he asked, gesturing to the table.

The two of you made your way to the table with six seats. You and Loki on one side, and you assumed Shannon and Tracey would sit across from you, with Tom and Diane on either end of the table.

“So, Loki, I hear you’re a Prince in your land. That so?” Tom asked before taking a sip of water, while waiting on the food to make it to the table.

“Uh, yes. My brother was crown prince, next in line for the throne though.”

“Older?”

“Yes.”

“That can be rough. We heard about your mother’s passing, I wanted to offer my condolences.”

Loki nodded. “I appreciate that.”

Just then, the three women entered. Diane was carrying the roast, Shannon had the potatoes, and Tracey had the beans and salad.

“I hope everything tastes okay! I’m not sure what they eat on Asgard but…I hope it’ll do.” “Any food you make, Mrs. Moran will be perfectly fine. I’ve come to really enjoy Midgardian food,” Loki assured.

“Midgardian?” Diane questioned with a concerned look that she aimed at you and Shannon.

“He means Earth,” Shannon corrected and you smiled with gratitude at her.

“Oh!”

“So how are you adjusting to life here on the blue marble?” Tom wondered as he dug into the food.

Loki was taking the plate of roast, frowning as he answered. “Fine, just fine. I have a job with a sorcerer.”

“Is that your end goal?”

“Tom,” you began to chide, your face getting red. You knew he was trying to navigate if Loki had any long term plans for you two.

“What? Can’t a father know how his daughter’s boyfriend plans to support them?”

“I, uh, haven’t really thought it out. On Asgard I probably would’ve been my brother’s political advisor. Down here, I’m not too sure.” He seemed uncomfortable with the question so you gave his knee a slight squeeze under the table.

“Do you miss your home?” Diane suddenly asked.

“A little…but… uh, this is lovely as well. As long as I’m with Y/N, I’m home.” He looked down at you with love and adoration and you beamed up at him.

“Gross, get a room,” Tracey said before Shannon shot her a glare. “Oh, I meant to tell you all, I got promoted to head nurse down at the hospital!”

“That’s great, honey!” Tom congratulated as he reached over and shook her shoulder. “We’re so proud of you.”

Diane turned to you. “Y/N, have you made any headway in your research?”

“Actually,I’ll be going to Nebraska, for a bit. Jane’s got a job opening and requested me.”

Your parents gasped. “But, you just got back.”

“I know, I know, but it’s a great opportunity.”

“She’ll be doing field work, the kind she loves,” Shan added, encouraging you.

“Well, then, I guess… we support you.”

“Thank you. I feel like I should also tell you, uh, I found my birth parents.”

Tom and Diane exchanged a look.

“You did?” Tom asked, his tone unclear.

You nodded, feeling a knot form in your stomach. How would they take this? Would they even believe you?

“Uh, yeah, they… apparently lived on Asgard.”

“How’s that possible?” Tracey wondered.

“We aren’t exactly sure of all the details,” Loki suddenly interjected. “As it turns out, my mother was friends with Y/N’s parents. They went away to battle and left her in my mother’s care. They said if they didn't return, to send her someplace far away so the enemy would never come looking for her. At first, she raised her with us, but then, she sent her down to Earth, to keep her protected. My mother wiped all of our memories, so none of us remembered her. But as soon as we learned the truth, she returned our memories, and I did remember playing with Y/N a bit as a child.”

“And that’s how you ended up in that orphanage,” Diane mused. “So, so this means you two are both from Asgard?”

You meekly nodded, worried they would no longer see you as the daughter they took in.

“So what all does that mean? Are you immortal or…?” she wondered, clearly curious.

“I think so. I’ve found that I heal at great rates since I’ve visited there. I can also perform magic now. Frigga basically took everything that made me Asgardian and turned me mortal, much like when Thor was banished. When I returned though, all of it came back like a lifesource.”

“But what about now, you’ve been back on Earth for some time, right?”

“It wasn’t all about the geolocation,” you explained. “Frigga lifted her magic on me and that helps me retain my true identity.”

“It must’ve been hard, trying to figure out where you belonged,” Diane noted, her dinner all but forgotten.

“A little. My memories, my social experience, my life, have all been Earth. But I couldn’t deny how right at home I felt in Asgard. I somehow knew parts of the palace I’d never seen. I feel blessed to have both, honestly. Two homes instead of feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere.”

“That’s fantastic.”

“What powers did you have?” Tom wondered. “Are they like Shan’s?”

“No,” you assured. “No, I, uh, I have the power to cast magic. I have the ability to charge objects and throw them.”

"That is so interesting," Diane commented.

Before you knew it everyone was throwing question after question to you and Loki. All too soon, dinner had ended and you two were saying goodbye to your family.

"So what did you think?" you asked as you two walked toward the car.

"I thought they were lovely," he commented, his tone wrapped in something you couldn't detect.

"What is it?" you inquired, your brows knitted together as you opened the driver door.

The two of you climbed in and Loki was quiet for a moment, pensive. You desperately wanted to know what was in his mind, but you refrained from pushing him. You began to drive, hoping he would confide and suddenly, without much warning, he did.

"It just makes me think of Frigga and Odin, and how I wish I’d been close with them. Like you are with Tom and Diane,” he noted, his voice somber.

“You were close with Frigga,” you tried, a frown on your face. The way it came out, it sounded like a question, as if you weren’t sure if he was close with her.

“I was, she treated me like her own, I suppose. But to have them care that deeply for you, your career...us… I don’t think I would’ve ever received that from either of them.”

You pressed your lips together, sad to hear this is how he felt, and even sadder to know it was probably the truth. While you were there, they never asked Loki about dating, his studies, his work…

The rest of the ride was quiet before you two got home, to get in bed and face another day of freedom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaelingoat-blog @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo @damalseer @heyitscam99 @yknott81 @sorryimacrapwriter @glitterquadricorn @xxqueenofisolationxx @little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama @bittersweetunicorm @alyssaj23 @sea040561 @princess76179 @thisismysecrethappyplace @sarahp879 @malfoysqueen14 @ellallheart @breezy1415 @marvelmayo @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @cocosierra94 @hardcollectionworldtrash @capsmuscles @marvelloushamilton @paintballkid711

Loki: @lostinspace33 @ultrarebelheart @lenawiinchester @esoltis280 @tngrayson @wangdeasang @harrymewmew @jayfantasyatyourservice

UC: @lokis-high-priestess

#unforeseen chasm #loki x reader #loki fic #Loki Laufeyson #tony stark #tony stark x ofc #tony stark fic #OFC Tom #OFC Diane #OFC tracey #mentions of Howard Stark

32 notes · View notes

randomfandomfamily · 5 years

Text

Alright, here’s the other story I did a few weeks ago. It takes place during Season 2 Episode 4, so… yeah. Good times. Anyways, I just got done editing the crap out of it, so I’ma post it now and get to work on some of those requests ✌

“GARY!!” Little Cato panicked. Pushing himself off the ceiling, he tried to chase Gary into the translucent pink void. He slammed into it, unable to pass, watching Gary disappearing behind a wall of solidified time. “NO!!”

He beat his fists against the wall. “Gary?! Gary, can you hear me?! Gary!” The power flickered back on, gravity reactivating, and Little Cato fell unceremoniously to the floor. “Hang on, Gary, I’m coming!” He pulled his blaster off his side and fired it at the wall. “Come on, come on, come on!”

The gun wasn’t working, so he holstered it and took off running. “Guys! Gary’s trapped on the other side, we gotta get him back!” He couldn’t hear anyone, and he assumed the worst. Had all been injured in the crash. Or maybe they- “Nightfall! HUE! Ash, Fox, anybody! Hello?!”

Every hallway was empty. Giving a frustrated shout, Little Cato went back and checked every room. Twice. “Empty, empty… AVA where are they?!” He paused, realizing the ship’s AI hadn’t answered. “AVA, too? What is going on?!”

He looped back around to the control room. “Guys, this isn’t funny! We have to help Gary, he’s trapped on the-!”

Then he remembered. He and Gary were the only ones in the control room when it hit. Everyone else was…

“On the other side…” Little Cato whispered. “I’m on the other side.” He felt his heart sink with the realization. “I’m trapped.”

Between the slowly increasing despair and suffocating fear of never getting back to his friends, Little Cato spent the next couple of days throwing anything and everything at the pink wall that kept them separated. Eventually he realized that he simply didn’t have the resources to break solid time.

So he decided to be a little more productive with his time. He spent the next couple of days doing some repairs. There wasn’t much he could do, but he knew how to use the welding tools, so that’s what he took care of first.

After about four days of making absolutely sure he welded together every piece of the ship he could (it took longer than expected without AVA to tell him where to go and what to fix), Little Cato ended up back in the control room, tapping his fingers anxiously against the arm of the chair.

The controls weren’t working. Nothing was working. And that stupid wall of pure pink frustration still wouldn’t budge no matter what he hit it with.

“Think…” Little Cato crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Gary and the others are gonna try and find a way through from their side, and they’ve probably still got AVA. Maybe the best thing I can do is wait. I mean, the ship’s still connected, right? I could seriously mess stuff up if I start messing with wires.”

Rocking back and forth, he reconsidered. “Then again, this is a time shard. Maybe normal laws of physics don’t apply here.” He paused. “Does this fall under physics? Whatever, it’s some kind of science.”

He stood and cracked his knuckles. “Well, it’s been a week and nothing’s happened. If nothing over there has affected anything over here, then I guess I can mess with some stuff if I need to.”

The only real problem was that Little Cato wasn’t sure what to do. He could do surface repairs. He understood the basics of spacecraft engineering. He knew how to hack into someone else’s mainframe. He could lightfold, jump a dead craft, hotwire someone’s ship (that last one was strictly emergencies only), but the Crimson Light was an advanced shipt. And when it came to redirecting power and trying to keep track of the important wires that needed to not be cut, it was completely beyond him.

He was a hacker and builder, but he was not equipped for this.

Fortunately, he found a manual that outlined the ships wiring and circuits and whatever else was in this complex monster of a ship. Unfortunately, it was huge and full of words he didn’t understand. But, on the plus side, he had plenty of time to read through it and even understand most of it.

Which also meant… that meant his friends still hadn’t come for him.

But they were coming, Little Cato was sure of it. Even as weeks and weeks passed, he knew that they were going to come, even if it was taking a while.

The more he studied, the more clear it became that he wouldn’t be able to move the ship. He would have to redirect power to the engine, and he didn’t have access to it. He tried to see if he could do it indirectly from the controls but, as he suspected, the time shard was preventing any correlation between the split sides of the ship.

He couldn’t get power to the engine, but he could redirect it to the parts of the ship he did have access to. In order to make sure he had as much power as possible, he shut off most of the lights and redirected it to oxygen, gravity, and other essential parts to his survival on the ship.

By the time he had studied all the materials and mastered the intricacies of the ship, there was an estimated sixty-seven years or so before he ran out of power. Not that he would ever need that much power because Gary would definitely find him long before then.

The three years he had already spent there were nothing, really. He had already spent that long in the Lord Commander’s care, and that was way more terrifying.

There was only one thing that he had from the other side, and that was the hologram he had built of his father. It was kind of the only thing that kept him motivated. When in doubt, Avocato was always there to say that he believed in Little Cato’s abilities.

Or at least that’s what Little Cato could program him to say. The real Avocato had never even said ‘I love you’, much less ‘I’m proud’ but, hey, a kid could dream. Besides, who else would know? Fox was his roommate, and he didn’t even know.

Three years doubled, then tripled, and suddenly twenty years had gone by. Little Cato had stopped carving lines into the wall. There were too many to count.

Except that he had counted all of them. Several times. Because he didn’t have much else to do.

All he could do was wait. Wait and survive. Fix the ship, maintain the ship, wait for Gary, survive until the next day.

Being thirty-four was weird. Little Cato around Gary’s age… though Gary would actually be in his early fifties by now.

Little Cato often wondered if the others were stuck just like he was. Could they have possibly found a way to detach the Crimson Light from the shard? Or maybe they had called for help and gotten on a different ship?

Gary did have universe-saving to do… dimensional keys to find… it would make sense if they had all left. Little Cato wouldn’t blame them, really. Two decades was a long time to wait.

“You bet it’s a long time,” a voice laughed, “I’ve been hopping timelines for a while now. Twenty years is no joke.”

Little Cato whirled around. “Nightfall?” But of course there was no one there. He shook his head. “Get it together, Little Cato. You haven’t been here that long.” The tally marks on the wall seemed to laugh at him. “Well… not long enough to go crazy, anyway.”

He hesitated. “But hypothetically speaking… what would Nightfall say if she were here? She knows more about time than I do…”

“The best thing you can do is remember is to stay calm.” Nightfall’s voice said gently. “It doesn’t matter how much you know or how much you learn, it’s useless if you are too scared to act.”

Little Cato smiled. “Right… stay calm.” He smiled to himself while he worked. “And you know who was always pretty good at keeping people calm? Mooncake.” He grinned. “Mooncake always gave the best face hugs.”

“Chookity-pok?”

“Well, probably Gary because he has, you know, arms. But you and your little poddles totally win in the face-hug department.”

“Chookity.”

Little Cato chuckled. “Yeah, well-” He dropped wrench he was holding. “What the heck am I doing? Am I seriously talking to myself?! Get a grip, man!”

And he had a grip… for another two years or so. Then he figured, what’s the harm in pretending he had Nightfall and Mooncake back? As long as he remembered that it wasn’t real, everything would be fine. It was really no different than the hologram he had of his father.

He just couldn’t imagine Gary. Only Nightfall and Mooncake.

Though after a while it seemed kind of wrong not to include HUE. And things were just too quiet in his room without Fox around to bicker with, and if Fox was there of course Ash had to be there.

Clarence got to be there to for some reason, but Little Cato didn’t remember when he showed up. Or Tribore. They both just sort of appeared.

Somehow he managed to fix AVA. Though he wasn’t sure if he had actually fixed AVA, or if that was just one more thing he had created in his slowly deteriorating mind, but she and HUE seemed to be getting along either way.

And KVN was there… but he hated KVN. There’s no way he would have imagined KVN there with them. Maybe he had been there the whole time… that had to be it. Of course that was it. KVN was just always there.

The only one who wasn’t there was Gary. Tribore asked about it once, where Gary was, and all Little Cato could do was tell him the truth: Gary was on the other side. They had to get back. No matter how long it took.

But then awful things started to happen. Fox and Ash died, Nightfall slowly started to go blind, things that Little Cato wouldn’t wish upon his friends in a million years were becoming reality all around him. Part of him started to wonder if ever really imagined them.

Forty-five years on the other side of the time shard, and Little Cato had completely forgotten he was ever alone.

Little Cato had forgotten that he was the trapped one. He had forgotten that the friends he had conjured were only meant for emotional support. Everything was real to him. Sixty years of trying to break through the time shard to find Gary was so so real…

He didn’t remember that he forgot until he was saved.

It wasn’t until he saw Gary staring down at him that he remembered where he had really been for the past sixty years. When he had his ghostly friends to keep him company, he forgot that he had been alone, his mind twisting his memories so that he never remembered.

But being back… being young and back in his time… he remembered. Every memory came flooding back: every torturous night, every haunting day, every moment of crippling loneliness came back with a crushing vengeance.

“I was alone for so long…” Little Cato stood, trying not to show how hard it was to reorient himself. “For sixty years…”

Gary blanched. “Wait, are you saying you remember? You remember what happened in there?”

“Ugh.” His own insanity flashed through his mind. “Yeah… all of it.” He couldn’t stop thinking about how twisted everything had gotten. All he had wanted was the reassuring memories of his friends. Something to call on when he didn’t know what to do.

How did things get so out of hand? Why did they get so out of hand? Maybe trying to create a person out of memories wasn’t all that… healthy.

An image of a gray box prodded at the back of his mind. There was something he had to do.

“Dang. Loneliness is the worst, man. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Gary looked at him, concerning tugging his features into a worried frown. “You are okay… right?”

The answer was no. But he couldn’t tell Gary that. He also couldn’t lie and say yes. So he just said, “Thank you, guys. For not giving up on me.”

And then he left. It was going to be a long, long time before he was ready to talk about what happened in the time shard. But there was one thing he definitely wouldn’t be telling this to.

It was time to put that hologram away. For good this time.

#final space #little cato #look #i didn't say this was gonna be a happy fic #random disaster writes

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imagineredwood · 5 years

Text

Marcus Alvarez NSFW Alphabet

*** There are a couple letters missing because I don’t really think of him in a sexual way and I couldn’t come up with anything 😂***

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s very into aftercare. Taking care of you is half the fun. He loves to look down at you while you’re lying there breathless, smooth your hair back. He cleans you up, lights a cigarette. Passes it over to you if you want to take a drag. He usually sits up against the headboard, not one for staying laying flat. Usually pulled you up to either sit beside him pulled into his side, or laying across his lap.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s not particularly one who has more love for a specific part of his body, but if he had to pick it would be his eyes. He loves the effect they have on you and how reactive you are to them. He loves that he can talk to your just by a look and you always know what he’s trying to get across.

On you, it’s your thighs. He can’t get enough of them. He loves to grip them, look at them, feel them around him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Not into anything crazy, he likes the intimacy of staying inside.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s got his fair share of experience. He isn’t one to go around with countless women but he has been with a good couple and he knows how to make his woman feel sexy, loved and fulfilled.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary. Nothing crazy or eccentric. Just old school missionary that lets him see facial expressions and feel as close as possible, keeping that intimacy that is so important.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s playful, but not goofy. He likes things to be fun and carefree not overly serious. He just wants both of you to feel comfortable to do whatever feels natural. Not into cracking jokes or anything like that really but, just teasing, maybe tickling, getting you to giggle.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Trimmed neatly but still on the natural side. Happy medium.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Very intimate and romantic. He loves the buildup and foreplay that goes into it. Be it a date, a text or a call. He likes to build up your anticipation and being intimate is a must when it comes to you. He wants you to feel his love. He wants you to know how much you mean to him and how happy he is to be with you.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not very often. He’s a grown man and he’s mastered self-control. He’s able to hold off for a while if needed and he much rather wait to be with you anyway. But he will do it if it’s going to be a while or he’s desperate. Usually will wait until the evening or night though and has you on the phone.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Kitchen counter, shower, garage. He likes switching it up, but he had no problem sticking to the confinement of your own bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Thinking back to previous encounters with you, seeing you with your skin still glittering with water after a shower, getting risky pictures that you sent when he picks up his phone after templo.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never hurt you, share you, or degrade you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Even 50/50 split. He loves being in your mouth and being the center of your attention but he loves to return that as well. He loves to pamper you and keep the focus only on you and your pleasure.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

More on the sensual and slow side, though he can switch over if the moment calls for it. He prefers to take it slow and take his time with you, no rushing. He just wants to focus on your body and bring you as much pleasure as possible, so if that’s what you want, you gotta ask.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He much rather have proper sex. Again, rushing isn’t something he likes to do and he much rather be able to take his time with you and give you everything you deserve without selling your short. If you want it bad enough though, he’ll oblige you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Totally game to experiment, not big on taking risks. He does not want to be walked in on and will not put himself in a position with you where that could happen. He’s into trying new thing with you that you think either of you would like but by himself, he isn’t all that caught up in experimenting with too many new ideas.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s usually good for one killer round and then he’s out. Maybe after some food and a nap, he can bounce back to go again but one round after another ain't as likely as it used to be in his younger days.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s bought some for you to have when he’s away on business or on runs but he isn’t all that big on using them when he’s home with you. He will if you want to and if you ask but he’s definitely not the first one to bring it up and suggest using them together in bed. They’re always for you, never for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases a bit but not too much. More teasing in the sense of verbally teasing you, making you ask for what you want and not giving in easily rather than physical teasing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s usually pretty quiet. A few moans and groans with your name thrown in here but he isn’t very vocal. He much rather just hear you. He won’t hold back though. That’s the good part about being in the privacy of your own home. .

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

About average. Lower than some of the younger guys in the crew but a bit higher than most men his age. To him, at this stage of his life, more things are important than just sex so he isn’t as hung up on it as some.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He’s out pretty quickly, within 5 minutes of closing his eyes. He makes sure that you’re ok and then he’s down for the count.

#marcus alvarez #Mayans MC #preferences #alphabet

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mbti-notes · 5 years

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ENFJ. My younger brother is an ENFP, and I think he's been in the grip of inferior Si for a while now. He had a difficult time accumulating college credits, but he graduated from college a few months ago--about a year and a half after his peers (obviously not a big deal but becomes relevant below). He wasn't able to find a job while he was in school and hasn't been able to get a job since he graduated. After college, he didn't want to move back in with my mom (ESTJ), and I wasn't in a place(1/2)

[con’t: mentally or emotionally to be able to care for him, which I let him know. I did tell him my door would be open as soon as I worked out my own personal issues (which I feel like I have now). He ended up moving in with an aunt and uncle, who agreed that he could stay with them while he looked for work. On our last phone call, I suggested he find a temporary job so that he could help out, and he blew up on me, maybe thinking I didn’t believe he could find the type of work he’s looking for. He told me that he was going to prove that he was better than me (Te grip). I told him that we weren’t competing and that I wanted him to be happy. He repeated that he was competing with me (Te grip) and told me not to give him unsolicited advice. He hasn’t replied to any of my calls or messages since. Since then several family members have become concerned because he’s become reclusive, hasn’t been able to find work, and doesn’t take advice to seek help. I’ve sent him encouraging messages and have tried to help him develop his Fi/Te by sending him materials related to MBTI (including this blog) and books by Simon Sinek (leadership) and others, but I don’t know if he’s totally shut me out at this point. I think he’s not only trying to compete with me but his peers, as he’s always compared himself w/ others. I think he’s insecure about his situation, especially since others in his peer group may seem to be doing well. (He keeps deleting his social media accts but then reactivating, which makes me think he’s driving himself crazy by continuing to compare himself to others) I never said this to him, but I was worried he might become a burden if he didn’t try to help out, & yesterday my aunt texted me as much… How do I help him to end Si grip, accept his reality, and follow a healthy course of action? He seems fragile. I plan to visit soon.]

In terms of your relationship with him, I think you’ve bumped up against common Fe v Fi problems. When you give him advice, you believe that you’re being helpful in guiding him toward solutions. I believe that your intent to help is genuine. However, he obviously doesn’t see it that way and you’re not quite hearing his point, which means that, even if you do manage to open up the lines of communication, you might make the same mistake again. You aren’t able to understand this situation from his perspective.

Not being able to find a job upon graduation is a HUGE life stressor and a great source of shame for anyone who wishes to be a normal and competent adult. The longer it drags on, the worse his mental state gets. He’s FP and I can guarantee you that he feels incredibly awful about this problem to the point where it really impacts his self-esteem, so of course he seems fragile because he is. Therefore, when you say “get a temporary job so that you can help out”, what he hears is that you have judged him as an incompetent and ungrateful leech, and basically a loser who can’t do anything right.

He expects that, as a sibling, you should be a cheerleader rather than yet another critical voice in his head wagging a finger about what a failure he is. Instead of being supportive and encouraging, you’re actually reinforcing and validating his worse fears about being helpless and powerless. The more he dwells on his own helplessness, the more he will start to believe it until he finally feels that there’s no other option than to give up on himself. When somebody already feels like a loser, they don’t need to be reminded that others perceive them that way too. Keep in mind that self-esteem problems can often be worse for men because they are socialized to believe that they should be independent and powerful, that’s why a lot of men can’t bring themselves to ask for help even when they really need it.

What can you do? Listen to him and do exactly what he asks because Fi knows what it needs: Stop giving unsolicited advice, stop acting like you know better about him and his life, and start being encouraging and supportive. Make clear that you don’t care about his “status” or level of success because what you really care about is him and his well-being. I hear very little empathy from you about how this situation is affecting him, only about how he’s failed and it affects everyone around him, which is essentially blaming him for dragging everyone else down. Your aunt and uncle agreed to take him in and it is their responsibility for making that choice, it’s not for you to worry on their behalf, and it’s not your place to meddle in their relationship behind his back. I doubt you would like someone doing that to you.Stop projecting your Fe and trying to make him see through your eyes about what you believe his problem is. It’s not helpful.

FPs need to work out life at their own pace, they need to learn from their own missteps, and they will reach out when they feel it is necessary. He’s not going to reach out to you if he believes he won’t get the support he needs. You are right to reassure him that you’ll be there for him, but refrain from any behavior that might be construed as “pushing” or “pressuring” or “criticizing” or “correcting” because, to him, it reveals what you really think of him, and he doesn’t need the stress of disappointing you on top of his own disappointment in himself. He’s lashing out at you because your advice is in fact a negative judgment about his character, you do indeed judge him as a failure, and it is pushing him to “compensate” and prove that he’s not the loser you think he is. This is counter-productive for his development because it means that he’s not wanting progress for the right reasons, and it leads to Te loop and chasing all the wrong things to cover up his pain.

Listen to his pain so that he can have a chance to honor it and move past it, but you can’t do that if you yourself are afraid of pain or think of it as “weakness” and always try to “fix fix fix” it. Trying to “fix” someone means that you believe they’re broken; tell someone they’re broken enough times and they’ll believe it. (Fear of brokenness is actually an ENFJ fear, so perhaps you’re projecting.) Not being able to find a job is a practical problem that needs a practical solution, so don’t cruelly treat him as a moral failure and maybe he’ll be more receptive to your help.

#enfj #enfj relationships #enfp #te loop #helping #advice #emotional intelligence #ask

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chebleedsink · 5 years

Text

Narcissus’ Shadow

Do you ever find yourself covering for someone just because you feel bad for them, just quietly keeping to the shadowlands that they create for you? Maybe because they’re not all bad all the time, and in fact they can wonderful when they want to be? Because generally speaking, they treat most everyone (aside from yourself) really well. Maybe because you know their damage and toxic behaviors started in childhood, where they couldn’t choose to walk away from it? Or maybe because you know how alone and awful they feel on the inside all the time? Maybe because you’re empathetic enough that you not only can imagine, but can physically, mentally, or emotionally feel what it’s like to be them?

I know I do. It’s become second nature to me. I tend to side with the villains and “bad guys” in movies often too, for the same reasons. Really horrible people that do really horrible things, usually weren’t born that way, and they often had really horrible things happen to them first. Reminding myself that they are the hero in their own story isn’t a far stretch at all. I am even pretty certain that if I was ever held hostage, there would be a real possibility that I would develop Stolkholm syndrome if I saw the slightest trace of humanity left in my captor. I always think, “if only someone would love them unconditionally and hold some space for them, just give them the opportunity to change, they might not be villains anymore.” I’m sure the odds would be in favor of that being true some of the time, but some people are so caught up in their roles they play, that they can’t even see themselves for their behavior. Some people can see it, but can’t or won’t change it. Many of them just blame outside causes, while refusing to take any kind of responsibility for fixing things. They don’t want to be fixed. It’s not their problem.

I’m painfully aware that conditions like Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, (and less commonly Psychopathy, and Sociopathy), at any point of their wide spectrums, wreak havoc in peoples lives, affecting not just the person suffering with them, but often everyone that comes in contact with them. Alongside generalized anxiety and depressive disorders, these extremely destructive personality disorders like NPD and BPD are taking the spotlight. Dare I say that our society currently supports and encourages the traits, behaviors, characteristics, and tendencies that are indicators of these disorders? Some people have figured out how to put these behaviors to good use, and they use them to unapologetically advocate for animal welfare, or starving children, environmental issues or other human right’s issues. Unfortunately though, that is probably the exception to the rule, and even when directing their attention at these just causes, they are still trampling the people that get in their way underfoot without a second thought.

So many people are either suffering from these disorders directly or indirectly, and so much mental and emotional damage is caused because of them. Someone with several of these traits wouldn’t even have to be considered disordered or even on the spectrum, (and they certainly don’t need to have been clinically diagnosed), in order to hurt the people around them. They are just as toxic in their own way. To know that highly empathetic people have turned into these people due to emotional numbing after feeling too many extreme emotions, as well as knowing people who were previously abused by this same type of person also become these people, is truly heart-breaking. It’s such a cruel cycle to see.

I know all of this, I know mental illness is not the mentally ill’s fault, I know it’s not fair to blame their damage on themselves, but I also know that many of these same people have been given opportunities to better themselves and they often choose not to. Again, with these types of disorders, those who are inflicted with them often can’t or won’t acknowledge that they need help, nor will they acknowledge the damage they cause. They very rarely see therapists for these particular issues, because to them, they aren’t their issues. Some of them can’t even feel bad about the things they do (due to a lack of empathy), even though they may have learned to act like they do. Some of them see reality completely backwards, where they honestly believe that everything they do to others, is actually what’s being done to them. Some of them are so good at fooling even themselves, and they have adapted so well to hiding, that they believe they are the empaths being abused in their various relationships. Empaths feel other peoples’ emotions, whereas narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths fake other peoples’ emotions. Sometimes it’s near impossible to tell the difference.

Aside from complete avoidance, how do you even begin to deal with these types of people in a healthy or productive way? Even worse, some of those people are just dipping a toe in and out of the spectrums of those disorders, and you can still see some hope for them. Hope that the switch won’t flip all the way, that they won’t be completely lost to it. Hope that they’ll come back around, or that meds and therapy could help. That hope is miserable. It destroys more people than the disorders themselves ever could. But for some of us, if there’s hope, we’ll still put ourselves in front of the train in the hope that we can help, in the hope that we can all be saved. Too often though, we are just hit by the train, and surviving and recovering from that train-wreck is a long and painful journey. Some of us never recover.

Even after spending the last 5 years cutting these types of people out of my life, there are some I can’t escape. It’s just not an option. So, to maintain the “peace”, I find myself still covering for them. I find myself treading water in the wake of their explosive fits and moods, just concentrating on the damage control to follow and on not drowning. And I am so tired of it, I hate it, I am done with it. It doesn't fix anything, and I'm pretty sure it always just perpetuates more problems than it solves, yet I still do it all the time.

Why? Why continue covering up their bad behavior behind the scenes? Why bite my tongue? Because I don't want to upset anyone, and they're already having a hard time, and if I don't have anything nice to say..., and it wouldn't make a difference anyway (-in fact it just causes more problems), and we have mutual friends, and they monitor my Facebook posts and have actually told me not to air my dirty laundry on social media (even though they do so regularly), besides, they’re not really that bad all the time, the list goes on.

I was so angry and upset the other night and I wanted nothing more than to vent on fb, mostly because writing is how I work through things, and because there are always a few people online to commiserate with who have gone through similar experiences, but once again, I didn't, because of all of the above reasons.

The next morning I thought I'd have calmed down a bit, but I hadn't. My brain was literally screaming at me to stop covering for him. Because it's not fair. And I know that. And I've literally put up with it for a decade. That's a long time to put myself on the quiet chair for someone else's sake. Two days later, and my brain won’t let it go.

I have spent years trying to be a better person, always improving myself, working through my baggage so I don’t have to keep carrying it around, generally just trying to be a decent human being really. My brain is demanding that I break this pattern of sweeping other people’s trash under my rug. And I really want to, but I still feel like I shouldn’t. I’ve been well-trained.

Honestly, I just wish I didn't always feel so bad for them, like I'd be kicking a downed horse if I ever called them out. But what do you do when the horse is always down? And when they’re actually up, between minute moments of calmness, they're extremely reactive and aggressively defensive, they’re kicking and biting you or things around you, they’re shitting everywhere, they’re loud, they’re stomping mud through the house, breaking things, leaving the barn door open, always threatening to run away, and you're afraid that anything you say to them, any way you say it, whether he's calm or otherwise, might set him off or upset him even more causing an even worse tantrum. You’re stuck in close proximity, but could you just avoid the horse? Maybe that way you'd feel less tempted to kick it? Oh, but wait... avoiding the horse just upsets the horse too?

Even worse, what do you do when those people have spent so much time convincing other people that they aren't like that at all? When they've convinced you that you're the only reason they behave like that? When they've actually convinced you that you're the one behaving that way, not them? When they claim to be the emotionally fragile one that you keep attacking?

Gaslighting is no joke, and even if you know it's happening, it's so easy to get sucked back into. It's like quicksand. The harder you fight against it, the more you panic when it's being flung at you, the deeper it pulls you in. I've learned the best reaction is to not react, and to stay calm, but that is not easy to do when your brain is screaming "Oh my gods! He's doing it again!!! Panic!!! Fight or Run!!!!.....Wait, maybe it is me and I am really the abusive crazy one!?!? No!!! Fight Back!!! Explain to him how he's twisting everything around!!!! Maybe it is my fault, I never should have said anything…Did I really do those things?.. But that’s what I was just saying…. Maybe I just don’t remember…" Before you know it, it's sucked you back under, because there's no point in arguing with someone who knows exactly how to gaslight you. You will never win that fight.

Fatigue is setting in. I’m exhausted with this person, with these people. I am tired of watching them say one thing, while they are actually doing the total opposite. I'm so tired of watching them play the victim and the pity me cards on social media, when behind the scenes it's so obvious that even though they are mostly responsible for their own suffering, they have zero self-accountability. I'm tired of double standards, especially the one where they expect to be thanked and appreciated for every single thing they do, every time they do it, even though they don't do the same, and in fact they rarely even notice (and certainly don't acknowledge) even half of the things that someone else does.

I am beyond tired of these people bragging about their greatness, and how much they do for other people, when it's all just for show and personal gain under the guise of philanthropy. I'm tired of them complaining about how hard they have it when they have been given so many handouts in life, especially when they've literally shoved other people out of the way to get where they are. I’m tired of their sense of entitlement that they claim to not have.

I am tired of the type of people who constantly make other people feel like an inconvenience, especially when it's their turn to repay a favor or a debt, or to hold up their end of a bargain or partnership. Especially, when they willingly made a deal or agreed to something (which they most likely never expected to be held accountable for.) I’m tired of people who talk over or belittle other people as an attempt to publicly shame or dominate them. I’m tired of them always stepping into the spotlight when it’s someone else’s turn.

I'm tired of people who try to hold others hostage with power-plays, and by manipulating emotions. I'm tired of damaged people getting away with damaging other people just because they're damaged. I'm tired of inconsiderate people. I'm tired of hypocrites. I'm tired of constantly volatile, hyper-defensive people who don't take responsibility for anything. I'm tired of people who try to shift the blame from themselves to everyone or anyone else they possibly can.

I'm tired of cleaning up other people's messes, literally and metaphorically, of all types, shapes and sizes. Even more than the actual "cleaning" part, I'm tired of being expected to do the job. I’m just as tired of expecting myself to do the job. I’m tired of people doing a half-assed job because the “job” isn’t their choice of what they want to do, and I’m tired of people putting in the least amount of effort possible. I’m tired of people who have no clue how to be a team-player.

I'm tired of people who give or do things for others as a way to put people in debt to them, or to be able to take credit for their successes later on. I am tired of "those" people who say, "but you don't see things from my side", or "you never listen to me". You know, the ones that when they say that, it's such a pile of crap and it's painfully obvious that they only see their own side of anything. The same people may be able to repeat back exactly what you said, but they didn't "hear" a word of it. I'm tired of talking to and fighting with brick walls.

I'm really, really tired of the people who use "I'm sorry" angrily, as a way to excuse their behavior, shift the blame, to clear their own conscience and to justify them doing the same thing over again for an unlimited amount of times. I'm tired of two-faced people. And I am so tired of people who claim to be the world's victim, when they're really the ones victimizing people. I'm tired of the people who accuse others of doing exactly what they themselves are doing.

I'm tired of keeping it to myself for someone else's sake. I'm tired of not bitching about it. I'm tired of keeping other people's ugly sides hidden, and I'm tired of keeping their images polished for some nonsensical reason.

You want to act high and mighty and tell me not to do something you just did (the 10x's worse, extreme version of) the day before?

Fuck you.

You want to tell me your shitty behavior is my fault?

Fuck you.

You want to act like you're so misunderstood, down-trodden, wounded and abused by me, when I was the one that excused and put up with your toxicity, abuse, and neglect for years.

Fuck you.

You want to try to poke me where it hurts, salt the wounds repeatedly, then try to cover it back up with sugar, just because you can?

Fuck you.

I'm tired. And I'm done. Just because someone does good things too, does not mean that you should put up with their shit. Just because you love someone as a person, doesn’t mean you have to let them hurt you. Just because you still feel some sort of hope for someone’s well-being, doesn’t make it your job to protect or help save them. Being a victim, being under too much stress, being mentally unwell is not a justified reason to pass the abuse. When it comes to physical abuse, these things are much more obvious, but emotional and mental abuse are equally damaging, you just can’t see the marks left on the outside.

I cannot wait until this page in my life turns to a fresh leaf, where I can just breathe again. Where I have space and where I can put some distance between myself and the things that hurt me the most. I know growth is painful, but I’m ready to take my hand off of the remnants of this fire. Although I often hate myself for the decisions that led to my situation, I count my blessings that I was at least able to remove myself from the pits of the original blaze, even if I did I let it burn me for way too long. I was left with so many scars, but I turned those scars into red-flags and memorials for life-lessons learned. I don’t ever want to forget those warning signs.

I currently have an amazing, loving, kind, considerate and self-aware partner in my life, the kind of person that I started thinking didn’t really exist. They’re not perfect, (no one is), but they don’t pretend to be, and they hold themselves accountable, and they do the work. Not only have they set a new standard in my life, but they have given me a whole new type of hope to focus on; the hope that I will continue to rise above my ingrained patterns of constantly choosing toxic people to surround myself with, and that I can make better choices, without feeling guilty about not sacrificing myself to save someone else.

My brain is still grumbling that I’m still covering. That I didn’t even mention who I was talking about or the details of the last argument, or the things he said, or the toxic things he does on a daily basis, or the way he really acts when no one else is around. Perhaps I’ll save that for another post. I feel that the vagueness of this post may just be more useful for anyone reading that may have needed to read this today.

If you’ve read this far, I’m assuming you probably can relate. You’ve probably felt these stingers once, or twice, perhaps more times than you’d like to count. You might be trapped at the moment, without a clear path to escape, but when the time comes, as soon as the opportunity arises, don’t think twice about getting out. Don’t feel bad. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel like you’ve failed. Don’t convince yourself that maybe you should just try one more time, because you probably shouldn’t. Don’t cover for them if you don’t have to, or if it’s safe not to. You owe it to yourself.

Don’t believe them when they tell you it’s all your fault, and that if you would just behave differently things would be better. Don’t believe them when they say they’ll change. These types of people rarely change without meds and therapy, and if you already feel tired, or done, or you’ve been covering longer than you’d like to admit, chances are the jokes on you. Don’t believe them when they say it’s all in your head. Don’t believe anything they tell you to try to convince you that there isn’t anything wrong with them, or if they argue there is something wrong with them that you just need to accept because it’s not going to change. If they repeat your argument back to you as their own response, if you hear your own words or emotions being turned around and parroted back, or being used completely out of context, run my friend, run and don’t look back.

Should we still hold space for these people? Afterall, they are just human beings, right? They are just as deserving of love and acceptance as anyone else, even if they are toxic, even if they can’t love or accept us. I think we should hold space, and we should still love them unconditionally as human beings, however, we should hold their space as far away from ourselves as possible, and we should love them from great distances. My heart still bleeds for them, I can’t imagine what an awful existence many of them live, and I still wish I could help, but I’m so much wiser now. I know better. And every day, I get a little braver. One day, I’ll stop covering.

#npdsurvivor #personality disorder #gaslighting #stop covering #npd #toxic people #blog #empath #toxic relationships #bpd #emotional abuse #covert #cognitive distortions #mental health #narcissistic #narcissist

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crystalelemental · 5 years

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suitsongirls replied to your post: I mean, I can’t exactly fault someone who’s...

See, I agree she definitely should have been a villain, but I think she should have been a semi-recruitable one. Not the first time you meet her, but later, after she’s spared. She turns up again, and you have the option of having Corrin speak to her, and she has the option of joining, but she’s not allowed to kill. Since she’s been defeated, she’s less feared, and all that jazz. But that’s giving the fates writers too much credit.

See, I don’t think she even has enough for that. That would require redeemable characteristics, which she doesn’t have.

This is an odd equivalence, but given the recency of this exact issue near here, it’s what springs to mind: whenever there’s a school shooting threat or event, the most difficult part is convincing my colleagues that no, this situation isn’t a tragic mental health issue, and the person making the threats doesn’t need help in the sense you’re thinking. It’s learned behavior. It’s being part of a gun nut forum that’s constantly othering those not in your group and inciting violence against them. That’s not a mental health break or something that needs a few sessions of therapy, that’s a behavioral process that’s leading to acts of wanton violence committed by someone who is very in control of their thoughts and actions. They’re not crazy or mentally unstable, they’re just awful people who have made the conscious decision that this is okay and justified.

That’s Peri. There is no mental health disorder in Peri. There’s nothing in Peri but a bratty five-year-old who was always enabled and allowed to do whatever she wanted.

The only time they try to give a reason for her behavior is with Laslow’s supports. In their A-support, she talks about how, when she was young, she found her mother dead, after one of their family servants had killed her. After that, she would attack the servants when she was upset with them, and her dad never stopped her. Her only positive traits is that she cooks really well, something she learned from her mother, and is kind of the memento she carries with her.

So it’s trauma, right? She experienced something traumatic, and now she’s just reactively violent. No. No she is not. There’s never reactive violence in his behavior. She kills servants over small mistakes, kills random people for funsies, and throws a tantrum at Benny for bringing her sweet candy when she had initially asked for sweet but changed her mind to sour while he was getting her things, all because she threatened to kill random citizens if he didn’t do it. There’s no trauma response here. That’s just a sociopath who thinks killing is okay to get what she wants.

In the field of special education, we had a disability classification area called Significant Emotional Disability. To qualify under that area, you need to rule out what’s called Social Maladjustment. The behaviors within the two are similar, but there’s one big distinction. The student with an emotional disability tends to be reactive, and doesn’t necessarily know the skills to interact with their social environment. They can have explosive outbursts, but when calm are generally pleasant and can often be remorseful following an outburst, because they don’t really want to have this difficult a time, they just don’t know what the alternative is. Social Maladjustment is intentional. It’s saying, I know the social rules and expectations, this is just easier. It’s that bratty, asshole child that constantly hits people and shows zero emotion over it, and will tell you yeah, they punched that other kid in the eye, they wanted the toy they had and they weren’t giving it to them. Peri is the second. In theory, you can work with either to develop the skills, but the approach is different. ED needs to be taught the skills. SM, on the other hand, needs to be taught that what they want is obtained more easily if they follow rules, which personally I think is a lot harder to deal with.

This isn’t to say that Peri absolutely could not be redeemed. But it is to say she’s not someone to be pitied. She’s like this because she started attacking people, and her spineless asshole father let it happen, or worse encouraged it, until she became a violent monster. She acts purely on her own desires, throws a baby tantrum when she doesn’t get her way, and approaches every problem with the mentality that overwhelming violence is a sensible solution. She’s awful, and I absolutely hate her presence in the story. She’s worse than most of the villains! Hans kills innocent people too, and is treated as the transparent major villain alongside Iago and Garon. But you know what? Hans actually has a justification. He falls back on it a lot, but he’s not wrong: Garon did order him to kill. Yeah, he gets really into it, but the people he massacres are your direct enemies in war, and people in league with a rebellion against the throne. He’s wrong for massacring people in this way and inciting the conflict, but he’s got way more justification for his actions than Peri does, and somehow he’s an irredeemable villain while Peri is fine to side with the heroes? It’s so lazy and shitty. And again, somehow, Xander, the guy who’s all about peace and order in the realm and keeping people safe, sees Laslow being overly flirtatious as a bigger image concern than Peri killing her servants for giving her a mixed bag of candies with the green ones in it because she doesn’t like the green ones as much. She’s an active detriment to the story and the characters around her. She is, unquestionably, the worst playable character in Fire Emblem history.

#suitsongirls

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andthelastgreatamericandynasty · 6 years

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A Doctor Strange 2 Featuring Scarlet Witch Would Be Fucking Amazing: Here’s Why

Hello all!

So I reactivated my Twitter account the other day (you can go follow me there on @brielarsonage) and I came across a post about a potential Scarlet Witch cameo in a Doctor Strange film (pictured below).

Here are the individual pictures, too:

And, upon seeing it again AFTER watching Doctor Strange, I really warmed to the idea of Scarlet Witch featuring prominently in the second Doctor Strange film even more. And by that I mean ABSOLUTELY OBSESSING OVER IT!!

But how would Scarlet Witch fit into the Doctor Strange universe? You ask. Well, I was confused at first, too. But I did some research, and I’m ready to start discussing!!

Okay, so first of all, Kevin Feige has discussed Wanda/Scarlet Witch’s powers at length, and has confirmed that she indeed shares the same power set (maybe it’s a different wording then “power set” I’m not sure) as Doctor Strange, she’s simply untrained.

Here’s a quote:

“Her powers, she’s never had any training, I’m talking about Scarlet Witch. She never had any training; she’s figuring it out. Arguably, you could say that that’s why her powers are much more chaotic and much more loose in the way that we showcased those light effects. In [Doctor Strange], some of what you might see today, even the cover of Entertainment Weekly, it’s much tighter. It’s all about focus. It’s all about pulling energies from other dimensions in an organized and purposeful fashion, which is why they can do a lot more than she can in, at least, a much more precise way.”

So, duh, Doctor Strange could offer to help Scarlet Witch train her and develop her powers further. I see it going down like this:

After everyone has been brought back in Avengers 4 (cause DUH, of course they will), Stephen observes Wanda using her powers and says something douchey like “You’re talented. Untrained, but talented.” BECAUSE OF COURSE STEPHEN WOULD SAY THAT HE’S SUCH A FUCKING PRICK SOMETIMES.

(I say the above with all kinds of love for Dr. Stephen Strange)

So this altercation leads to Wanda and Stephen partnering up at the end of Avengers 4 and going off to train, which could lead right into you guessed it: Doctor Strange 2!

So Doctor Strange 2 has been confirmed by Kevin Feige while he was promoting Ant-Man and the Wasp. Full quote:

“Sometimes it's where do those characters pop up? [Doctor] Strange, you know, whenever we do another Strange one, which we will do, it will be a number of years from the first Strange, and yet he's a very big part of Avengers: Infinity War. So it is just a good problem to have when you have too many beloved characters that people want to see more of, whilst keeping to our core belief that we need to keep exploring nuance and keep doing different types of things."

But how would Wanda fit in? If my dream interaction between Wanda and Stephen goes down in Avengers 4, would we start right on her training or would there be a time jump and would Wanda already be partners with Stephen?

That all depends on the plot of Strange 2, which could be a number of things. We don’t have many confirmed ideas on what the plot would be, but ideas on whom the main antagonist will be have been floating around. Right now it’s a debate between Mordo and Nightmare. Doctor Strange Director Scott Derrickson said when asked about what bad guy he’d like to bring to the MCU:

“I really like the character of Nightmare and the concept that the Nightmare Realm is a dimension.”

So could it be Nightmare? Would they sideline Mordo? I don’t think so. At the end of Doctor Strange, Mordo says that there are “too many sorcerers,” so maybe he’ll being to start wiping out sorcerer’s one by one, only for Stephen and Wanda to find out and try to stop him.

That would be my preference, but maybe the first half of the film can be Wanda’s training and the second half can be about Wanda and Stephen trying to stop Mordo. That would also appeal to me.

So you’re probably also asking me: “Madeline (or Lena, whichever you refer to me as), what about Vision? Where will he be? Don’t you think he’ll come back?” My dudes, I am a big ScarletVision shipper, I mean they were what drew me into the MCU after declaring MULTIPLE TIMES I would never fall into the MCU trap.

With that said, I don’t think Vision’s coming back after Infinity War, which breaks my heart, but let’s face it guys, Vision’s time had come. His arc was pretty much done and moving forward he doesn’t serve much of a purpose in the MCU. But this has a silver lining in the way it’ll help develop Wanda’s character.

Yes, yes, the “My love interest died and it’s changed me in a very serious way” is an overused trope, but it fucking works. Plus, Wanda had to kill Vision herself, which takes the trope to a whole new level.

So let’s jump to Avengers 4, Wanda is back but Vision is not. She feels jaded, she doesn’t know what to do. She’s lost so much in this fight. Then, Doctor Strange offers her a place at his side training in the mystic arts.

I think Wanda would take this opportunity because where else does she have to go? Wanda didn’t really have a home outside of the Avengers until Vision, and now Vision’s gone. Why not move on with her life expanding her powers under Doctor Strange’s tutelage?

Plus, business-wise, this would be a great fucking opportunity for Marvel. Let’s face it, solo films do better when you add in another Avenger or two to compliment the main character.

Stephen’s a real asshole sometimes and Wanda could really balance him out. She could call him out on his bullshit and he could help her overcome her fear of her own powers. Wanda is already so powerful, imagine what how much she could accomplish if properly trained.

And, as much as I HATE to admit it because Wanda has a fucking cool origin story, we’re probably not going to get a solo Scarlet Witch film, so why not feature her in another film? She could be the Black Widow to Stephen’s Steve Rogers.

Elizabeth Olsen is also down for more Marvel films, as seen when she spoke about a potential Scarlet Witch spinoff:

“And it’s like, no, of course I would love the opportunity. It’s not about that. It’s about, is it gonna serve the universe, does it serve their larger story? I felt crazy and I was like, ‘Jesus, no, there’s never been a conversation about doing a spinoff.’ I’m not pushing one. That doesn’t mean I don’t want one.”

I could easily see Scarlet Witch fitting into Doctor Strange’s overall story and arc. Maybe he could learn more about himself and his powers through training her, and she could learn more about herself and her powers through being trained.

There’s also the romance aspect which people will obviously go to if Marvel tries the Scarlet Witch/Doctor Strange dynamic, which I’m going to leave up to you to give your input on below. Honestly, I wouldn’t care. It would be cool to explore. But it depends on whether or not Benedict and Elizabeth have that romantic chemistry. Plus, could we really move on from ScarletVision? :/

ANYWAYS, those are my thoughts on a potential Scarlet Witch role in future Doctor Strange films. What are your thoughts?! I’m dying to know if there are any others like me who LOVE this concept.**

**Sorry if this is messy, I sat down to write this at 2 A.M. so there could be typos a plenty for all I know.

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hamilton-one-shots · 5 years

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(Request from my Dms

Like, fluffy. If it was John or Phillip, it would be coming from the military, and for Jefferson or Laf, coming back from France from some political stuff. Jefferson, Laf, Phillip, or John would be super happy, fluff happens, then they get thirsty wink wink )

John groaned and threw his notebook across his bedroom before slamming his head down onto his desk and letting out a frustrated shout.

Stupid statistics. Stupid Professor Adams. Stupid dyscalculia. Stupid B that was going to ruin what was supposed to be his final year!

He gripped his hair tightly and felt hot, angry tears running down his face. When the fuck would an art teacher need to use statistics?! He never would’ve taken that class if it wasn’t a core requirement. He knew how bad he was with math and he knew that it was out of his control. In fact, the only reason John had a B to begin with was because his roommate and close friend, Alexander, agreed to do all of his assignments if John did Alexander’s art homework for him. But it wasn’t like he could go in and take his final for him, not when the professor specifically said they’d all need their student id’s just to turn it in.. So John was stuck doing that and even though he’d been studying like crazy all year, reviewing homework assignments and attempting problems himself, he felt like he hadn’t learned a thing..

If only his boyfriend, Lafayette, was there to help him... But he was all the way in France, just as he had been for the past two years, taking care of some family matters. And, of course, John understood that Lafayette had to go to France, that his family was more important than a college romance, but Lafayette was just so good at helping him with that kind of thing.. Lafayette helped John through algebra and geometry in high school, so he was able to ace college algebra first semester without blinking an eye, but.. These concepts were all so new.

John shuffled through the papers for notes to a problem he was doing when he heard his bedroom door open behind him and his friend Alexander’s worried voice.

“Hey, are you alright? Do you need any help with your work?” Alexander asked, voice full of concern. John hadn’t much slept in a week, trying to get ready for this final, and refused to get any rest when Alexander tried to get him into bed. Alexander also offered multiple times to help him study, but he couldn’t find out how to get through to John.

“No... I just need to work a little harder,” he assured himself. John, of course, appreciated Alexander’s help, but it didn’t work for him. He couldn’t understand and he couldn’t help Alexander understand how Lafayette was able to help him all those years ago.

“Okay.. I’m going out with Eliza in a few. Dinner’s in the kitchen, whenever you’re ready. If you’re not going to sleep, please at least eat,” Alexander practically pleaded. John hadn’t had any problems eating and Alexander was almost desperate to keep him from starting.

“I will, don’t worry,” John replied flatly. Once he heard the door close behind him, he got up to retrieve his notebook, stretching. Sitting over a desk for all that time was a killer on his spine. He sighed and flipped through his notebook a bit, stopping when he felt hands over his eyes. “Alexander, I said I’d eat later. You don’t have to make me.”

“It isn’t Alexander,” hummed the person attached to the hands.

John gasped, recognizing the voice anywhere, and turned around. Sure enough, there stood his boyfriend, Lafayette. “Laf!” he called out excitedly, practically jumping into his arms. “I didn’t know you were coming back from France!”

Lafayette laughed lightly and kissed the top of his boyfriend’s head. “I wanted to surprise you! I’m back and I’m here to stay,” he assured.

John felt his heart burst in his chest and kissed all over Lafayette’s face before stopping and kissing his lips, relishing in the sensation of once again feeling his lover’s lips against his own. John only pulled away a minute later when he had to breathe, panting to catch his breath.

Lafayette did the same and rested his forehead against John’s, cupping his cheek. “You can’t imagine how much I missed you..”

“I probably missed you more,” John stated with a shrug.

Lafayette chuckled and kissed John’s forehead before pulling him into a hug, resting his chin on the top of John’s head and rubbing circles into his back. “Have you been eating?” he asked, almost like a concerned parent.

“I’ve been eating,” John responded surely. “I’ve just been working out. That’s muscle, not skin and bones.”

“Good.”

John chuckled and buried his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder for a second before pausing and glancing up at him. “Laf?..” he began softly.

Lafayette looked down at him, a gentle, but permanent smile across his face. “What is it?”

“Can you teach help me with stupid statistics?” he laughed out. He adored the fact that Lafayette was home, but he wasn’t going to pay another thousand dollars for one stupid course.

Lafayette laughed with him and kissed his cheek. “Of course I can.” He took the notebook from John’s hands and skimmed through it. “I think I remember some of this. Come, sit.”

John sat down at his desk and Lafayette stood over him, listening as he explained a few basic concepts in a way that John would understand. John listened for the first hour or so before getting... distracted. At first, he thought he just missed having Lafayette around. He missed the thick French accent that no doubt became thicker through the two years he spent speaking French almost exclusively. He missed the warmth that seemed to radiate endlessly off of him, even in just his t-shirt. He missed the way Lafayette almost always had his arms wrapped around him. The way he rested his head on his shoulder, so that John felt his warm breath on his neck..

John grabbed his hand. “Laf. Let’s take a break from statistics. Pass, fail, I don’t care right now. I just.. I want you,” John admitted, a needy edge in his voice.

Lafayette grinned and kissed his cheek. “Well, who am I to deny you?” He’d be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, but there were more important things in their relationship than sex.

That being said, he took John’s hand and led him to his bed, sitting on the edge and pulling his boyfriend into his lap.

Without hesitation, John shifted so he was straddling Lafayette’s waist and kissed his boyfriend passionately, holding his own body as close as to Lafayette’s as he could. Two years without sex.. Two years without Lafayette was almost as unbearable as a semester of statistics. But it wasn’t the time for that. Now was the time for John to enjoy his boyfriend.

Lafayette shifted and laid John on his back on the bed, then straddled his waist, sitting up on his knees. “I almost forgot how gorgeous you looked beneath me,” he hummed before leaning forward and pulling off John’s shirt, then his own. Once they were gone, he moved down and got rid of John’s pants, glad to see the tent that had already formed in his boxers. Lafayette leaned down and began mouthing at John’s member, feeling him almost immediately react to the touch.

John gasped and bucked his hips up, almost a bit embarrassed at how reactive he was.

“I see two years has been hard on you,” Lafayette teased, pulling off John’s boxers and letting them fall to the ground. He sat back up on his knees and leaned down, kissing John or a second. “Do you have lube?”

John nodded rapidly. “Nightstand, top drawer.”

Lafayette reached over and grabbed the bottle, then sat up again. He opened the bottle and poured a good amount into his hands before rubbing it onto himself with a sigh.

“You seem eager,” John teased.

Lafayette rolled his eyes and grinned at John. “Unless you are happy to stop things here, hush.”

John chuckled and wrapped his arms around Lafayette’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss. “Fine. Consider my lips shut.”

“Good.” Lafayette grabbed John’s legs and wrapped them around his waist before taking his own member into his hands and slowly pushing it into John.

After two years, it was uncomfortable, but only for a few seconds as John’s body remembered what it was like. Once he was okay, he glanced at Lafayette and nodded. “Go ahead.”

Lafayette rubbed circles into John’s hips with his thumbs and kissed him to help him relax, then began thrusting into him slowly. John relaxed and began moaning in seconds, so Lafayette took that a sign to slowly speed up.

And he definitely guessed correctly. John was in absolute bliss, gripping Lafayette’s shoulder tightly with one hand and letting the other one tangle itself in his lover’s hair. His eyes were half lidded and his mouth partly opened, his state of ecstasy written on his face.

Lafayette smiled at that and leaned down, nuzzling his head into John’s neck and letting him hear his own moans. “All this time and I’ve never even looked at another person. I spent every day missing your sweet smile and most nights missing your sweet body. I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have someone as beautiful as you.” Lafayette raised his head just a bit and placed a few kisses to John’s neck before pushing himself up a bit, one hand on John’s hip and the other gripping the sheets as he picked up his pace.

John’s moaning changed in the way that Lafayette would always recognize as the Frenchman began hitting his prostate and Lafayette began aiming for that spot every time, listening to John’s moaning getting louder and louder.

“I love you so much,” Lafayette moaned out, feeling himself get close. “I never want to have to leave you like that again and it’s not just the sex talking.”

John nodded rapidly. “I know, I love you too. Fuck.. If you ever leave me like that, I’ll kill you.”

Lafayette chuckled at that and hissed softly as he felt himself tip over the edge. He hadn’t lasted long, but it didn’t surprise him too much. And John hardly seemed to mind. After all, he knew that Lafayette never left him hanging.

Lafayette began moving down as he pulled out and took John’s member into his mouth, feeling his boyfriend move his fingers into his hair with a sigh. He bobbed his head up and down a few times before hollowing his cheeks and sucking, using his tongue as much as he could at the same time. Lafayette moved his tongue and teased the area below the head of John’s penis, hearing him react beautifully.

“Laf,” he gasped out. “Laf, I’m almost there..” John came in Lafayette’s mouth with a loud moan only seconds after, Lafayette easing him through his orgasm before swallowing.

Lafayette sat up and licked his lips a bit before moving up to lay beside John, kissing his cheek. “Like I said, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Good,” John responded. “I wouldn’t be able to handle another two years without you.”

Lafayette smiled and kissed the top of his head. “You won’t have to.” He pulled the blanket from underneath them and held John close as they cuddled underneath it. As expected, it was only a matter of minutes before John fell asleep.

Lafayette kissed his nose before falling asleep with him. He loved John more than he could say. Maybe one day, he’d be able to put a ring on his finger and prove it.

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #john laurens #lafayette #alexander hamilton #laflaur

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kcmorcbi-blog · 5 years

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tom holland + cismale + he/him + reactive evolution.┊ ❛ ━ hey, is it just me or do you hear old town road by lil nas x playing in the distance ? oh, that’s just ridley vidraru, a twenty-one year old busboy. according to my sources, i heard he can be neutral good and is adaptable, but also reserved. that’s probably why they remind everyone of the smell of leather, large barn doors, and roosters crowing so much ! anyway, whether or not they’re in favor of the supers, crystalline city is keeping a close eye on them ! (lucy, seventeen, hast, they/them )

hello hello !! iʻm just gonna preface by saying that you should probably read kacchanʻs intro for luca first for a little more context because these two are related !! they actually cover the whole event over there but........

to sum up, ridley grew up on a big ʻole farm with a big ʻole family. he had a twin sister with whom he was always very close with. together, they learned magic from their father and wizard that was a family friend. when he was thirteen, shit hit the fan. in order to protect him and his sister, his father sent them through a portal with an endpoint that wasnʻt known to anyone and………..

p o s t - Y E E T ( a. k. a c o u n t r y b o y i n t h e b i g c i t y !! )

he ended up on the outskirts of the city. not exactly the best place for an unaccompanied thirteen year old whoʻd never been too far from the countryside before.

through the jump, he somehow got separated from his sister. he doesnʻt know if that was a condition that his father put into the portal or if something happened mid-trip, but suddenly he was alone for the first time in his life.

he was never really good with the transporting aspect of magic like his pops was, and there was a sinking feeling in his stomach telling him that there was no way he was getting back home anytime soon unless his father found him.

he waited for weeks -- months, really, but who was counting ?? he was. -- for his pops to figure something. or for his sister to find him. then he tried to figure something out himself. see, the main problem was that he was thousands of miles from being anywhere close to back home and he had zero ways of getting there. this was DEVASTATING to him.

so, he gave up. not really. he always carried a determination to search for them. but for the time being, he wasnʻt really focusing on getting home. he just...adapted. that was always what he did best with the magic that he got from his dad and then wizard: changing to fit the environment best.

he took up odd jobs around downtown. mostly house maintenance and chores that people didnʻt want to call professionals for. he eventually tried his best to bounce around, taking jobs at places that lasted a little longer and, since he was essentially homeless, whose owners let him stay there through the entirety. he took up as many as he could so he would never have time to himself to think about things.

eventually, he made his way to some of the nicer parts of town and stumbled upon a horse stable. it was one of those nice ones where rich people kept their horses for jumping or for races. they just so happened to need an experienced stable-hand.

ridley got the job and having grown up around horses, managed to prove himself enough that they kept him long-term. they set him up with a little trailer near the stables so he could be close enough the horses when they needed him.

eventually, he got a himself a part-time job also working as a busboy ( because i forgot i put busboy on the app before i thought of this stablehand thing ) and earned enough money to buy himself a shitty little laptop so he could finish his schooling.

now, heʻs doing college online and gonna try and become a vet !! he might focus primarily on the equine but for now, itʻs just a general course.

power-wise, he !! is a magic cowboy !! he was getting lessons in magic from both his father and the wizard that lived with them, which were obviously cut short when they got separated. before that, however, he became very adept in defensive magic. this is what he honed throughout the years and is his main specialty.

he calls it reactive evolution because thatʻs essentially all he does. he gets placed in a situation and changes himself in order to survive best. for example, if you were to throw him underwater, heʻd grow gills and webbing between his fingers and toes. if you were to shoot at him, suddenly heʻd be made of steel.

living on his own in the city helped hone that skill more than anything. he made out very well on the streets specifically because of his skill set. anything that happened to him, he was able to keep himself long enough to safely get away.

so !! that’s it !! he’s a poor cowboy with a GED trying to work through online college and working as much as he can with his very limited resources to find his missing family.

t h e m a n , t h e m y t h , t h e c o w b o y ( p e r s o n a l i t y )

the’s a bit of a rascal at heart who doesn’t let himself cut loose too much. kind of what happens when you grow up having to take care of yourself.

HOWEVER !! if you get to know him,,,,,,,,gain his trust,,,,,,maybe heʻll open up and be the goof he is at heart hmm who knows anything can happen

pls break his walls down i double dog dare you

heʻs very hard working. heʻs the type of person that enjoys doing manual labor. like, he genuinely likes lifting hay bales and doing maintenance so heʻs always looking for anything he can get his hands on and fix. he tends to get a little stir crazy if heʻs not doing something productive.

he fucking loves animals. this mans adores any and all animals. heʻs partial to horses but he will fall in love with any type of non-human creature. if you want to be his friend, just say you have a pet cat or something.

heʻs literally the loneliest little bean. this is a mans who was part of a matching set for most of his formative years and then had that ripped away from him very abruptly. he misses his family so much but after nearly a decade, heʻs gotten better at hiding it. this is probably why he imprints on animals so much

he seriously is a weird little hermit who doesnʻt do anything for fun so pls !! take this mans out !! heʻs dork but heʻll probably be fun for something i guess !! heʻs got an accent and some sturdy boots !! idek what else pls just throw yourself at him cause heʻs shy. but still a dork. who knows whatʻll happen ?? not me !!

T L ; D R

yello !! iʻm your local gayby, lucy !! and here is my son, ridley. he is also lucaʻs son. that would make him kacchanʻs grandson. lmao oldie. anywho, basically,,,,,,,heʻs got the horses in the back. horse tack is attached. hat is matte black. got the boots thatʻs black to match.

#「 * &. ♠ ━ ride ʻtill i canʻt no more ⁞ HISTORY. 」#gloryhqs.intro #yʻall #i really have no idea what this is #but pleathe.........take my son......#*whispers* can you see that i went way too ham with the cowboy thing #im sorry im excited

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