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#he made them get rid of their cat
cha1cedony · 17 days
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Thinking about how Lincoln and Chris are both SUPER jealous people. Love them but that must’ve been a crazy marriage lmaoo
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rainbowpufflez · 27 days
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“If I could go back, one thing I would do / Try to unravel, cut down, and unscrew / The first double helix that links me to you”
Wow, get a load of these guys. What’s wrong with them?
Also song inspo if anyone would like it! It’s where the top quote is from!
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Here's my question. What do I do with the Lego sets we built? Bc I really like the Lego bouquet. I want to keep it. But it hurts to look at. That's basically what it is with all the ones we did. I want to keep them bc I liked building them. I hate wearing the waterparks shirts I got from the concert bc it was the day before everything went to hell but I'm not getting rid of them. I like some of the stuff he got me. Is it weird if I keep it?
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cottageivy · 1 year
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listen, i know that there is a difference between having a baby and having a cat, however. i do at least get a glimpse of what having a toddler is like when i try and give my cat flea medicine.
i try to give it to them when they’re just laying down because it legit takes like a minute to do. my other cat is fine and stays in one place but as soon as my cat Baker feels it on him he is done. and he doesn’t fall for me trying to lure him back to just get the rest of it. it took two tries and then there was just literally a squeeze left, and i had to just lay on the floor next to him while he sulked under the dresser
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hedgehog-moss · 4 months
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In previous years I've tried uprooting small fir trees in my woods to use as Christmas trees, making sure to be gentle in the process and keep as much of their root system as I could, but when I replanted them in the woods later it just never worked. The trees didn't appreciate being treated like this, so last year I didn't even try replanting my Christmas tree and just fed it to the llamas (who did appreciate.)
I meant to do the same this year, and on my to-do list this week I had "cut a Christmas tree" and "get rid of 10m2 of broom plants" (this is on my to-do list in perpetuity. They grow so rampantly, if I didn't fight back there would be no pasture left.)
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^ But then after I went and cut a bunch of horrible brooms I thought, well this is absurd, I'm going to kill a perfectly nice fir tree that I have no beef with, to have something green in my living-room for Christmas, when I could humiliate my plant nemesis by festooning its slain offspring with tinsel? I mean, shrubs are green. They fit the bill. I bet with a star on top they could pass for a Christmas tree.
At first I tried to cut a tall and large broom, then poke holes in its trunk with my drill to stick smaller broom branches in there like this: \o/ to give it a rough Christmas tree shape. It didn't work. Brooms as it turns out are extremely dense and fibrous and my drill didn't like drilling into them one bit.
So I lowered my expectations, and started gathering a big bouquet of younger brooms (the only positive aspect of broom invasiveness is that I have an infinite number of shrubs to experiment on. I cut a half dozen of them to try and drill holes into them and by the time I gave up, another two dozen had grown back in their place). I tied up my broom bouquet into something vaguely reminiscent of a fir and, I mean, with a star, it sort of looks the part?
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I had to do the tying-up part several times, because the pretty and festive golden string I initially used was too weak. This bouquet of broom branches may look placid and easygoing in photographs, but when tied together tightly, it is determined to free itself.
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But I managed to tame it using hay bale string. It didn't look happy with its fate, but I mean, it's a broom shrub. Its only ambition in life is to conquer as much pasture territory as possible and add it to its broom empire. It does not want to be a decorative plant in a living-room.
Take any historical figure who was mainly known as a ruthless conqueror and try to picture turning him into a Christmas tree. He won't look happy about it.
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I ended up making two Christmas Brooms, one for the greenhouse and one for my living-room. The greenhouse one was originally meant for the living-room, but it was made up of particularly obstinate Pampe-like branches and I was worried one of my cats would poke it and the "tree" would suddenly break its chains in an explosion of vegetal triumph and traumatise the cat.
It may look like a peaceful Christmas Yew in the below pic, but don't underestimate its very strong desire to free itself from even the tough hay bale string, which forced me to use my garlands to tie it up some more, wrapping them around the "tree" less loosely and festively than usual. But I put my biggest star on top and that means it looks like a Christmas tree. A Christmas tree with a restraining order.
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This tree is held together with tinsel, threats, and Christmas magic.
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In the dark and from afar you really can't tell it's a bunch of unruly invasive shrubs tied together <3 And here's the much thinner and therefore less angry version in my living-room:
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It was tilting to the left somewhat worryingly so I put a heavy stuffed hedgehog at the bottom to stabilise it, and a mountain goat at the top to dissuade it. All hands on deck. They both look somewhat petrified, like they are begging the faux-tree to remain a tree for the duration of the holidays...
Thus ends my Christmas Broom journey. It was a bit of a pain to set up but at least an innocent fir out there got to escape a grim fate (devoured by llamas), and a small gang of invasive shrubs get to be looked at with approval and joy for the first time in their life. It's a win-win.
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maiko-san · 3 months
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Catnap + Dogday x Reader ( Part 4 )
<<< Part 3
Relationship : Fluff
Warning : None (?)
Plot : Every time you enter the Playcare you feel eyes watching you everywhere you go. You feel stressed and start to become sick.
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Recently, you feel uneasy and something tells you that you were being watched. Every time you go to work, you feel eyes on you.
It scares you.
Nobody likes the feel of being watched.
It made you stressed out.
You tried to get rid of these feelings by distracting yourself with work. You tried to keep yourself busy to a point you overwork yourself with all those papers or taking care of the Smiling Critters.
To a point it made your body ache and have a migraine from overthinking.
Not only that, Catnap has been acting quite differently too and his visit has become less and less each day. Not only that—
The lovely and sweet cat is avoiding you!
You finally asked the feline, what's the matter but only received—
"It's nothing...."
Nothing....nothing? Obviously there's something wrong!
Multiple questions began to swarm into your brain like a raging tsunami, did you do something wrong? It must be you, right? Yes, no? Maybe?
You had a slight feeling it has something to do with the higher ups.....
Did they tell Catnap to...avoid you? It has to be it, right? Why they do such a thing?
The stress starts to eat you the more you think about it.
Dogday and the other smiling critters saw that you've been stressed lately to a point it started to affect your health. It made them worried, especially Dogday. As a leader, it was his responsibility to care for everyone's wellbeing, including you.
"Angel, You look nervous lately. Are you feeling alright?"
"Oh, hey. Dogday....."
Dogday knew something was wrong. He comes closer to you and touches your shoulder.
You slightly flinch under his touch which made the canine even more worried.
"Angel, please tell me. Is something bothering you?"
"......"
"As a leader, it's my duty to help everyone in need. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to you"
"....."
Dogday holds your hands gently and holds them in his large ones.
You take a deep breath before telling him what's been bothering you, you know it will be useless to ignore the canine. He is stubborn and won't stop until you tell him what's wrong.
"I feel like something bad is going to happen. I don't know when. It might happen now, Sooner? Tomorrow?"
"......"
"I really hate this feeling, Dogday.....I-I can't get rid of it and no matter how many times I tried to forget it by distracting myself with work, I just.....couldn't— Not only that, Catnap has been ignoring me and started to avoid me! I— ugh, m-my head"
You suddenly drop to your knees causing Dogday to panic and he begins to whine worriedly.
Dogday's heart clenched the way you spoke. You feel scared, anxious and nervous. The canine pulls you into an embrace, in hope that it will help you calm down.
"Let's get you to the infirmary..."
Dogday makes sure that the school doctor treats you and gives you medication.
"Mrs. (L/n), I think it would be better if you take a week off from work"
"A week?!"
"Angel, it's for your own good"
"But—"
"No buts, end of conversation!"
The doctor said sternly you were causing you to snap your mouth shut.
The doctor also recommended you to rest someplace quiet and away from the city and your workplace.
It seems you have to go to your foster parents house, they always welcome you with open arms if you need anything.
"Alright...I'll take the day off..."
But still....that gut wrenching feelings still resides in you....
For today, you need to rest in the infirmary room until you are discharged.
Dogday leaves you to rest before proceeding to make his way back to his stage but before that, he wants to find Catnap first.
Dogday knows that Catnap is great at hiding, but it won't stop him since he has his canine sense helping him.
He sniffs around to find the feline until he sees the cat, snoozing around his stage like he always does.
"Catnap. I need to speak to you..."
"...Speak"
"(Y/n) is sick, have you not noticed?"
"...I know..."
"Then why did you help her with your red smoke? To make her sleep and at ease?"
"....."
Catnap looks away from the dog, Catnap knew that you were sick. It hurts him to see you like that.
He wants to help and comfort you, he really does but...
He had received an order he has to obey. His had to choose between two individuals that he adores. One he worships and the other he loves. Yet, he chose the one he worships, the one that saves his life.
Catnap knew that Dogday will help you and he trusts the dog with you in his care.
Other than that, using the red smoke on you will make everything much worse and potentially kill you in your sleep.
He doesn't want that to happen to someone who cares for him and loves him.
"Why?"
"Red smoke use...on stress person...bad could hurt and... possibly.........kill..."
"O-oh..."
Dogday rubs his arm before turning away, but before he leaves.
"Please, pay her a visit, Catnap. If you do, it makes her less worried and she would be happy to see you again"
"Also, She won't come to work for a week...."
Dogday leaves Catnap's stage, leaving Catnap alone to think about his decision to see you.
A/N : Another chapter finished 😁 . Also, a fair warning for all of you. The future chapters will become darker as it progresses since I want to stick to the plot of the game.
Also, the mascots have their own stages to perform for the orphans!
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tender-rosiey · 8 months
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frenzy— gojo satoru x gn!reader
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a/n: yet another silly thing with megumi and gojo to fill space while I finish other stuff
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you take a deep breath before staring in front of you.
you’re going to murder someone, particularly a 6 foot 5 man with hair similar to that of a paintbrush.
the only problem is that he is your fiancé and you would probably be the first suspect when they investigate the oh so mysterious murder—if the daggers you’re glaring are anything to go by.
the second suspect is probably the 11 year old next to you, also known as megumi.
satoru is causing yet another scene as he purchases his favorite sweets from the cute old lady at your local shop.
his face is stuck to the glass as he grins, “I will take this, this, this, oo and that! and lastly that!”
“can’t we leave him?” the boy grumbles.
you sigh, “unfortunately not.”
“babe! honey! sweetheart! I got you some stuff!” he appears right in front of your eyes with frankly more sweets and food than you physically stomach.
he rummages around the bags, “I know this is your favorite, especially this!”
sighing, you cup his face and make him stare you dead in the eyes, “stop spending so much money! I don’t need that much!”
he pouts and his arms wrap around your waist, “what’s the point of my money if I can’t spoil you with it?” he feels the stare of megumi then looks down and scowls at him, “what do you want?”
megumi rolls his eyes and looks away, radiating so much sass and it offends your fiancé beyond words.
satoru gasps then props his hands on his lips, “I got you this limited edition pistachio cupcake! be thankful!”
megumi’s eyes snap to satoru’s and retorts, “it isn’t thanksgiving.”
satoru quirks an eyebrow and uses his hand to fan the air towards his nose. he takes a deep breath and puts his hands together, “I smell…bitch!”
“satoru!”
“sorry!”
they have a glaring contest for a small while, and you simply take some of the bags from satoru’s hand and make your way down the street.
it doesn’t take long before a pair of small feet makes its way into your peripheral and another gigantic pair follows suit.
satoru effortlessly takes the bags from you, carrying them in one arm, while his other one is linked with your own. on the other hand, megumi’s hand gently slips into your own. you give his hand a little squeeze and he gladly returns it back.
satoru has his infinity turned off because what could go wrong in a peaceful moment like this?
a screech is heard from your side. it’s girly, squeaky, and so high pitched to the point you want to smack its owner so badly.
unfortunately though, it’s your fiancé, and he is being ruthlessly attacked by a squirrel
it probably fell from the tree above, but why would it attack satoru?
probably because the idiot accidentally kicked the tree and, as a result, made the poor thing’s entire stock of food fall the ground, crumbled and unusable for poor mister squirrel.
karma is a bi—biscuit. a very bad biscuit.
“y/n, get it off!”
“you’ve been chosen as a sacrifice for the squirrel king, satoru.”
“but—“
“oh thank heavens! we will finally get rid of him,” megumi murmurs.
“why you little bra—AH!”
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AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?
Some background about my cat first.
I (25F) have a pet cat named Max (not real name. It would be too identifiable if I used his real name). Max is a rescue. He had been abandoned by his previous owner because he would meow too loudly. This had happened several times, so he has been in and out of the shelter a lot. None of the previous owners had tried to figure out why he always meows so loudly, so I took him to a vet. It turns out that Max is deaf, so I don't blame him for meowing so loudly. He can't hear himself! He is scared of strangers and tends to hide, so I don't try to force him to come out if he doesn't want to. I also don't usually take pictures of him because the cameras and phones scare him. I just do what I can to respect his boundaries. Max isn't just a cat to me. He is my treasured family who brings a smile to my face everyday. I can't imagine life without him.
My friend, Amelia (22F) is trans. Her folks are transphobic and were not accepting of her when they found out. However, they had not kicked her out of her home right away. They had given her a week to pack her things and find a place to stay. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with that but another friend, Nina (24F) thinks that they did that as a manipulation tactic to get Amelia to retransition and Amelia thinks so too.
But the week had passed and Amelia couldn't find a place to stay. Nina had said she would have offered, but she lives in a small apartment that hardly had enough room for two people. So Amelia had asked out friend Ted (26M) who had also said he couldn't because he was housing his younger siblings since their parents had passed and he was struggling financially.
So that left me. But Amelia said she wouldn't be able to stay unless I got rid of Max. Why? Amelia is highly allergic to cats. Whenever she had come over to my place in the past, she had to take allergy medicine to keep from having severe allergies around Max. The allergies are bad enough that they could trigger an asthmatic attack. I told her that I refuse to get rid of Max because of his past with being abandoned. I do not want to become one of the people he distrusts, not after it took so long to get him to feel comfortable around me.
Amelia is upset with me for this and says that she doesn't want to have to always take allergy medicine. She said that I should get rid of Max because he is just a cat and his needs are not as important as hers when she could become homeless soon. I argued that he wasn't just a cat and was part of my family. Max would be staying no matter what. Amelia ended up renting a motel room, but she couldn't afford to stay for more than 4 nights. Nina ended up taking her in, but that has made her own living situation harder.
Amelia and Nina are calling me an asshole for choosing Max over giving Amelia shelter. They are saying that I am being a horrible ally and friend by valuing an animal over a human life. I don't think I made the wrong choice by choosing Max, but it doesn't feel great that they are starting to tell some other friends that I am being transphobic for not choosing Amelia. A part of me is saying that I should have chosen Amelia, but that same part is also saying I would fee guilty for being one of the people to also abandon Max if I chose to do that. Amelia and Nina barely talk to me aside from saying that I am being a transphobic asshole for "choosing an animal over a trans person's livelihood." I am thinking about just cutting them off now, but I'm afraid that would just lead to more backlash.
AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?
What are these acronyms?
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unorthodoxfaithxx · 3 months
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Yandere Ghost Headcannons
Afab reader ; nsfw ; ghostly somnophilia 
He was orphaned at a young age, but adopted by a widow who eventually  passed away during his 20s. She left him with a hefty inheritance so he was well off for a while.
He eventually met the love of his life, your past reincarnation. Unfortunately for him, you were only using him for money and ended up burning him along with the house down in an attempt to take the life insurance money. You succeeded, leaving him nothing but a broken heart and a vengeful spirit.
The house the two of you lived in was eventually torn down and rebuilt. His ghost resided, watching apathetically as family after family moved in, only to run off when they realized the house was occupied with his spirit. He couldn’t move on because he had too many attachments to the world — namely, still being in love with you.
When you eventually move in with your cat, his heart stops. You’re back. You act a little different, but you’re still the woman he married. He falls in love all over again.
He watches you from both afar and up close. He loves to follow your every movements. When you sit in the reading room, he’s on the other chair eying you dreamily, enjoying the way you react to whatever is happening in your novels. He’s sometimes behind you, reading with you with every page you flip. He finds it cute the way your face scrunches up when you find a bug in the house. He can’t get rid of them, but he does his best to scare the bugs off so they scurries away. He thinks you’re very kind for taking in the stray cats in the neighborhood and feeding them in your backyard. He sits next to you on your back porch while you feed them. 
He loves the way you laugh when you watch a funny video on your phone. He laughs with you. He eyes you pitifully, wanting to lick the tears off your face when you cry after watching a sad movie. 
He thinks you’re fucking hot when you touch yourself in the shower. He’s there with you, too.
He wishes he could touch you, but he can’t. He’s just a ghost after all. At least, that’s what he thought until he finally made contact with your skin one night. He knelt over your sleeping form, wishing he could give you a kiss. Apparently wanting was all he needed, because when he bent over to kiss you, he was able to manifest a slight physical form and land a peck on your lips. 
The revelation makes him ecstatic. Soon, he can’t get enough of your skin. Every night he wills himself to form a physical manifestation, one that gets stronger, lingers longer with every attempt. At night, he would hold you in your sleep, admiring the way your beautiful body was draped over the sheets. 
But soon, just kisses aren’t enough. With physical form comes a carnal need for your body, your touch, your taste. He finds your used panties and masturbates to them, loving that he could feel pleasure for the first time in ages. He wants to share that feeling with you. So push comes to shove, and he develops a habit of groping you in your sleep, moving clothing aside to admire your naked body. He fingers you  while you lay there, listening with joy as you moan and quiver in your sleep. 
You’re so fucking adorable. 
He wishes you knew he existed. But he knows you’d be terrified of him. Who knows, maybe one day, you’ll see him for who he really is - not some ghost haunting your house, but the man who has always and never stopped loving you.
When he hears you on the phone with your friend, talking about a man you might be interested in, all hell breaks loose in his mind.
No one can love you like he can. No one cares about you like he does. No one knows you like he does . Your smiles are reserved for him And him alone.
He begins touching you more, every night even. You start to complain to your friends about something being amiss, but he doesn’t care. He needs you to know he loves you. He needs you to need him.
Just when he thinks he will never get through to you, you wake up on a night he manifests.
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etheries1015 · 4 months
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I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭
I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!
Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!
featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!
general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \
TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.
Leona
The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.
"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"
Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.
Ruggie
"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"
"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.
Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.
"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3
Jack
He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.
He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.
With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.
You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3
Azul
He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.
But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;
"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.
He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.
He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.
Jade
The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.
"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.
He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.
But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.
He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!
Floyd
Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.
You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.
"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.
Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.
The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.
"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...
He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.
Ya'll are so silly for each other <3
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theemporium · 5 months
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🧸could you do a Max one where you and him introduces you newborn to Jimmy and Sassy and they become attached to the baby
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
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“You have to be good.”
“Max.”
“I mean it. Best behaviour from the both of you.”
“Max.”
“If either of you even hiss or think about—”
“Max,” you said in a louder voice, finally catching your husband’s attention as he whirled around to look at you, his face a mix of concern and intrigue. “They are cats. They don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Max puffed his chest out. “They might.”
You snorted. “They don’t. And it’s fine. They will get used to him, slowly but surely.”
However, Max frowned at the phrase.
It had been a concern of his since you told him you were pregnant on whether or not his cats would get along with the newborn. The internet seemed to be full of mixed signals, with some people sharing happy stories and others sharing absolute nightmare situations. And as much as he should have put the baby first, the last thing Max wanted to do was get rid of Sassy and Jimmy.
They were as much his children as little Casper Verstappen was, and he didn’t think he had the heart to get rid of them if they didn’t get along with his son. Maybe that made him a bad father or a bad pet owner, he wasn’t too sure. But these were three beings he loved more than he could explain. He didn’t want to part with any of them.
And now the day had come for them to meet, with Casper and yourself having just been dismissed from the hospital earlier that day. And every part of Max felt on edge.
“Be nice,” he said to the two unbothered cats one last time before he took the car seat from you, the one where little baby Casper slept peacefully in, before he lowered it to the floor. 
Jimmy was the first to approach the car seat, sniffing and cautiously circling it before he stared at the baby lying inside. He leaned forwards, sniffing the baby’s foot before he let out a soft purr. Sassy was a little more hesitant, keeping her distance until she watched Jimmy nudge his foot affectionately. And only then did she make her way over.
In Max’s best case scenario, they would be unbothered by the baby’s presence and be happy to co-exist with him.
The last thing he expected was for his cats to love his baby more than they loved him.
“Really? Again?” Max muttered as he wandered into the room, the sun barely breaking through the horizon as he wandered into the nursery. He found both cats curled in the cot with little Casper, both curling around him in a way that almost seemed protective. “How do you both keep getting in here anyways? I swear I lock the door.”
Both cats just stared up at him blankly.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t forget who feeds you,” Max muttered as he watched Casper reach for Jimmy instead of reaching up for his father like he usually did in the mornings. “And that goes for all three of you. I am being ostracised by my own family.”
Sassy only meowed in response. 
“Yeah, love you too, Sass.”
.
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shu-porang-porang · 3 months
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Love Me Until I Love Myself
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♡♡♡ Minho wants to make sure you know he loves you ♡♡♡
Pairs: Lee Minho (Lee Know) / fem!reader
Rating: Explicit
Theme: Angst, Fluff, Smut, 18+ NO MINORS.
Warnings: oral (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex (do not try at home!), reader is insecure and doesn't like herself
Word count: 3 k
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You and your boyfriend are on the ride back home from an awards show after party. It was exhausting. You used to think they must be fun, getting to chat and party with celebrities, but nope. You’re not built for this. You wonder how he could do it, especially after performing those taxing choreos. You could never. All night he was so bubbly and cheerful, while you tried to hide in shadows and attract as little attention as possible. Well, it’s not like people cared about you anyway, you were an outsider, a peasant who was offered a chance at a royal ball.
Halfway through it you questioned why you even accepted to participate, and then right away, you remembered why. Another girl approached him, congratulating him on their win and talking about memories you weren’t a part of, laughing at inside jokes you couldn’t understand. Of course, he would be comfortable with these girls, they’re coworkers after all! He’s known some of them for ages, way before you guys met, and of course you had no right to tell him to stay away from them or anything. The best you could do was to stick around, so the girls were aware of you as his girlfriend, or he knew you were there, lest he decided to do something naughty with one of them...
You know you’re being unreasonable; you know he’s loyal, and they’re just friends, some of them are even like his little sisters, but you can’t get these thoughts out of your head. Your insecurities won’t let you. After all, those girls are famous idols, loved by millions, always so dolled up and pretty, acting cute and shit. You think it’s just a matter of time before Minho realizes the timid plain you ain’t good enough for a star like him. Although he always fondly smiles at your dorky made up dance moves, you think some performer who could actually dance and shared his passion for dancing would be more appealing to him. You feel you lack a lot, and you can’t justify why someone like him would be interested in someone like you.
You feel pathetic. You let out a sigh subconsciously and Minho gently puts a hand on your thigh, asking if you’re ok. You reply with a nod and a weak smile. You’re afraid if you try to talk, tears may spill. His hand remains on your thigh, so you hold it to calm yourself down. His soft hand that you love so much. You love everything about him, you’re crazy about him. You wish you didn’t love him so much, then he couldn’t one day break your heart. You wish you were another person, well, you wished that almost your entire life until you met him. Having him, convinced you that you were alright, the person who you were and hated for so long, was the same person who got you to him, so it was alright. But here you are again, doubting yourself. You think you’re just broken and can never be fully fixed. So maybe it wouldn’t be fair to expect him to stick with you…
You arrive at Minho’s place. You moved in with him a few months back, so it’s technically your place too, but you don’t dare to indulge yourself in that idea, you think you don’t deserve it, you’ll lose it soon, so better to not get attached, but it’s already too late.
Home, at last. As soon as you enter, you are greeted by the cats. Minho picks one up cooing at it. You walk past by him into the bedroom. You just wanna rid yourself of the party attire and go to sleep, right now the only thing that could stop your train of horrible thoughts is sleep.
Minho joins you soon after, walks towards you and wraps his arms around you from behind as you’re taking your jewelry off in front of the mirror. He nuzzles his nose against your neck, inhaling your scent.
“Hey let go, I’m tired. Just wanna get out of this dress and go to bed.”
“But I want you to stay in this dress a bit longer. You looked so pretty tonight, babe” he leaves kisses on your exposed shoulder that make your breath hitch in your throat. But you’re still upset about the bleak night you had.
“Oh, is that why you spent the whole time talking to other girls while I was sitting right there?” Your bottled up emotions force you to blurt out.
He lifts his head up, looking you in the eyes through the mirror. His expression is baffled, he’s trying to figure out what he did wrong.
“What are you talking about? I thought we had a nice time there!”
“Well, you obviously had, giggling with them all night.”
You try to break free from his arms but he won’t budge.
“Hey! You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s exactly wrong.”
You try to form sentences that would explain why you’re feeling like this, but you feel stupid for bringing it up in the first place. You break into tears as you’re tired and helpless and don’t even know how to make sense of your feelings. Silent tears start streaming down your cheeks, you’re never one to sob loudly. Worries written all over his face.
“Baby tell me. What did I do? Did someone say something to you?”
You shake your head “no”. He lifts you up and carries you to bed, sitting you on his lap. You show no resistance, your hands are balled up on your lap and your head is down, trying to cover your crying face with the lose strands of your hair, which he tucks behind your ear immediately. His thumb is caressing your tear-stricken cheek. His other hand is soothingly massaging your thigh.
“It’s okay baby, you can talk to me. Please. It really hurts me to see you like this and not be able to do anything about it. Tell me what’s wrong sweetie. We’re gonna fix it together.”
You don’t wanna hurt him. Hurting him is the last thing you would do. So, you try to fight the tears and speak.
“I… seeing you tonight… the girls all pretty and talented… the things you have in common… how close you are… I wonder… how long… till you realize……….”
“Till I realize what baby?”
“I’m not… good enough” your voice is shaky, again on the verge of tears.
He’s in disbelief. His mouth slightly agape in shock. His grip on your waist tightens.
“Why would you even think that?” he says as if asking himself, not really waiting for a response from you.
His brows are furrowed. He’s thinking to himself.
“I get it now. You were sitting right there, and I kept talking to other people as if you weren’t. But I just thought you weren’t taking part in conversations coz you didn’t want to be bothered… but you actually felt excluded from them. Is that right?”
“Almost. That alone wasn’t a problem, but it made me think you deserve to be with someone who’s more like them and less like me…”
“Woah! Where did you get that from?”
“You’re too good for me… it can’t be right. I’m afraid you’re wasting your time with me…”
“Hey! You don’t get to decide that for me! Do you think I couldn’t have any of those girls if I wanted? The thing is, I don’t want them, I want you.”
“Why do you even love me? Even I can’t love myself…”
“Where should I begin? I love everything about you, and I make that my first priority from now on, to make you see all the things I love in you, and to make you love them too.” He finishes his sentence with a soft kiss on your collarbone.
He plants a few more kisses on the expanse of your chest before pulling back and looking into your glossy eyes. You give him a thankful smile as your hands reach for his nape and pull him in for a kiss. His lips feel like heaven against yours, soft and plump. The kiss starts with languid movements of your mouths. Neither of you are in a hurry, you both need to savor this moment. He drags his tongue on your bottom lip and you let it in. As your tongues are dancing, the temperature rises. His hand that was on your waist, travels up to grope at your clothed breast, the other hand is tangled in your hair, keeping your head in place for him to abuse your lips.
He lays you on your back on the bed, momentarily disconnecting your lips which makes you whimper in loss. It encourages him to get back to kissing with even more fervor. His hands are pulling the straps of your dress down, trying to gain access to your breasts. He trails kisses down your jaw and across the column of your neck, to your shoulders and collarbone. They alternate between feather like pecks to purplish hickeys. He can’t decide what he wants. He wants it all, he wants all of you, he can’t get enough.
He stops to admire his work of art. A hand cups your cheek gently which you lean into, closing your eyes.
“You’re so perfect baby,” He plants a kiss to your forehead. “Even in my wildest imaginations I couldn’t picture someone this pretty,” Another kiss to your nose. “Inside and out.”
You open your eyes to see his lovingly stare back. You pull him in for another taste of his lips.
“So, do you still wanna get rid of this dress?”
“I do, if you want to.”
“As gorgeous as you look, I can’t wait to see what’s underneath.”
He takes it off and your left in nothing but your black lace panties. You tug at his dress shirt, signaling him to take it off too, which he complies, followed by the unbuckling of his belt and his pants follow suit.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I want you to never forget that.” He says as he hovers over you once again. You open your arms to invite him into your hug. He lowers his body onto yours, slightly circling his hips against your crotch. You feel him twitch in his boxers.
“We don’t have to do it if you’re not in the mood, you know.” He says searching your eyes.
“I want it baby, I need you, I really do.” You say as your hands are mapping his toned chest.
With a little smirk on his lips, he goes back to business. He kisses your chest, right above your racing heart, then latches his mouth to your left nipple. He sucks and bites at it till its raw, while trying to give the same amount of attention to the right one between his fingers. You squirm beneath him as your nipples get too sensitive and can’t handle more. He gets the cue and snaps out of his uncontrollable desire to ruin them. Instead, he gives them both kitten licks and pecks in turn, to compensate for the rough treatment they just received.
Moving down your naval, he’s all soft and sweet with butterfly kisses, loving pecks and whispering sweet nothings in between. He’s slotted between your thighs as he reaches your core. Eyes darting up to ask for your permission one last time before he’s completely unstoppable. You give him a nod and he places a kiss to your clothed mound. He teases by nudging his nose to your clit and licking a stripe from your hole to it. Tasting the arousal leaking through the fabric, he lets out a satisfied hum that sends shivers up your spine. You’re growing impatient but he’s taking his sweet time with peppering your inner thighs with kisses and hickeys. You feel more of your juices flowing out and you buck your hips up.
“Stay still princess. Let me take care of you, hm?”
“Minho… please…” You whine. You trust him that he’ll take good care of you, but you can’t wait anymore.
He finally gets rid of your panties and the cool air hits your pussy, followed by warm puffs of his breath.
“So pretty… all mine” He says before diving down and starting to make out with your pussy lips. The lewd noises that fill the room make you forget why you were even upset earlier. The only thing you don’t like about this moment is how little pressure he’s putting on your clit, enough to keep your juices flowing, but not enough to make them gush out all at once. You’re a moaning mess, your fingers pulling at his roots, trying to keep his face close to your core. He’s finally sucking at your clit, suddenly the pleasure gets overwhelming as he inserts two fingers inside you. You feel the knot in your stomach tightening to a snap. A few more strokes of his tongue and your coming undone. Your thighs shake around his head, one of his hands comes up to fondle your breast, his mouth still attached to your core, drinking the elixir of life straight from the fountain. He waits for you to ride your orgasm before he crawls back on top and gives you a taste of yourself. His mouth and chin are glistening with your juices. What a sight to see! You feel extremely lucky to be the one who caused this scene.
“That was …amazing… Thank you” you say while trying to find the normal rhythm of your breath.
“I told you I know how to take care of my girl.”
“Now it’s your turn.” You push him on his back and now you’re on top.
First thing you do is taking his boxers off and finally freeing his aching cock. You wonder how he managed to focus on pleasuring you while he was this hard. The sight alone makes you all turned on again. You thought you’d need more time to build a second orgasm, but you���re already throbbing.
Now it’s your turn to mark him, to shower him with kisses, to try and pour as much love as possible onto your every touch. Starting from the sensitive spot on his neck, you know you can’t mark him here, still you suck it a bit harsher than you should. You leave open-mouthed kisses all over his chest and where it is safe, give him a few hickeys too. You lovingly kiss the scar on his abdomen, the fact that it’s another thing that only a few have seen and you’re one of those few, is really endearing to you.
His member is twitching between your bodies. You slide your wet pussy on it, earning a groan from him. You decide he deserves a quicker release, so you stop grinding to hold it and align it with your entrance but he stops you.
“Wait baby. Let me do it.” He says as he’s stopping your hips from moving.
You’re confused but you go with it. He gets on top again.
“Tonight is about showing my baby how much I love her.” He says with a fond smile.
“I wanna make sure everything feels good for you.” He puts a pillow under your hips to gain a better angle. He inserts the two fingers from before in your pussy, checking how wet you are and scissoring them to loosen the muscles.
“Minnie I’m fine… it’s not my first time…” you try to say in between gasps as his fingers alone are doing wonders inside of you.
“Oh but it is sweetheart. I’m gonna love you all over again.” He inserts a third finger.
“Gonna make sure to give you all the love you deserve.”
He clashes his lips to yours as he replaces his fingers with the tip of his cock. The stretch is pleasant, you want more of it. You moan in his mouth as he slowly inches inside you until he finally bottoms out. He stays still, your warmth engulfing him, turns his brains to mush.
He whispers in your ear: “I love you so much”
He starts moving as he nibs at your earlobe, giving you words of praise now and then. Your arms wrap impossibly tight around his shoulders, leaving no space between your chests.
He slowly picks up his pace. Your nails are digging to his biceps now. Beautiful moans fill the room. His lips won’t leave your skin for more than 3 seconds. He pats down your left arm till he reaches your hand and your fingers intertwine as if they have brains of their own. He pins it above your head and his other hand is beside your head, supporting his weight as his movements get faster and less precise.
“ ’m close…” you manage to let out.
“Go ahead… I’m right… behind you”
A few more thrusts and you’re second orgasm hits you as your head falls back and your eyes screw shut, his name like a prayer on your lips. You’ve made a habit out of saying his name every time you came or it wouldn’t feel right.
As your walls convulse around him, he can’t hold it back anymore. Ropes of white hot liquid paint your walls. He collapses on top of you. He tries to pull out but you stop him.
“Wanna stay connected to you a bit more…” You wish you could merge with him into one person, but having him inside a bit longer, would do too.
His head finds its place in the crook of your neck. One of your hands is in his hair and the other is resting on his back. You whisper a “I love you” to his hair and kiss the top of his head and he lets out a sigh. You don’t want this moment to end. If he can love you this much, maybe you should give it a try too.
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inf3ct3dd · 6 months
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streamer!ellie headcanons
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warnings: yo no se
content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥
authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….
- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.
- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!
- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm
“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”
“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”
- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING
- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time
- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)
- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)
- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔
- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream
- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!
- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her
- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE
“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”
- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL
- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit
- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪
- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”
- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them
“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”
- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.
- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.
“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.
you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.
the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.
- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.
pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine
minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad
rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL
and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.
creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE
- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY
- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔
- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂
- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded
- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl 😳😳
- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?
- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.
- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.
“what a coincidence.”
- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.
- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.
“im just letting you win.”
“beginners luck.”
but shes SO COCKY when she beats you
“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”
“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”
- definitely helps you build your own pc.
- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.
“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“
“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”
“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”
- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)
- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”
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bloozz · 1 year
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yan!househusband x reader!!
: gn reader , sub househusband , yandere!! , stockholm syndrome , mentions of thighs and bodily fluids in food 
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oh~ i’m gonna love you so~ you’ll learn what i already know, i love you means you’re never getting rid of me!
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🦈. yan!househusband who loves to cook and clean with you!!
🌊. yan!househusband who is def a thigh guy,, doesn't matter the size or the thickness, just lives to lay on them and give em a squeeze (sometimes a few bite marks)
🦈. yan!househusband who wants kids, biological or adopted doesn't matter (if you don't want kids he'll be a bit sad but he'll settle for a dog or cat)
🌊. yan!househusband who watches cooking tutorials and blasts them from the tv
🦈. yan!househusband who hates when you go to work but he tries to understand because you pay the bills..
🌊. yan!househusband who likes to watch you sleep because it shows you being vulnerable to him
🦈. yan!househusband who's favorite weapon is a knife!! obvi..
🌊. yan!househusband who definitely wants to cum in your food...
🦈. yan!househusband loves to be dominated but if he's very jealous or angry that day.. you won't be able to walk for a day or 2..
you heard some scurrying and pots banging against eachother before your kidnapper wonderful husband came rushing out to give a big hug! he peppered your face in soft kisses and smiled.
🐟 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- ︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
“darling, i’m home!” you yelled while hanging your coat onto a rack. 
“how was work?” he asked while taking your bag. you replied with a hum and gave your husband a small kiss. (he almost came and passed out at the same time)
“one of my workers went missing today.. had to do all his work..” you say while slightly glaring at him. he gave a quick very insincere sorry and went back to hugging you.
“sorry.. don’t be mad.. i made your favourite food!” he took your hand in his and led you towards the kitchen. the aroma of the food wafted in the house.
you sighed and sat to eat. he gives a giddy smile and asks you to eat it!! who are you to decline your precious husband's request?
"dear.. why does this taste so weird?"
🌊 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 🦈
First yan post!! you can interpret him however you like :)) yan angel is next
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xmalereader · 8 months
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Simon Riley X Male Reader
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|| Masterlist ||
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Authors Note: Here is the first request! I did make a few adjustments to this shot and I hope you enjoy it! I tried to extend it and instead left it short :( but I hope you enjoy it!
Requested: Hi! I hope you have been doing well and not being to kich stressed<3 If you request are still open I was hoping you would take this one where Simon Riley introduces his boyfriend who is a total sunshine to the team after the boyfriend comes to visit him in secret to their fake base. The boyfriend is a normal civilian and the total opposite of Simon so it's weird seeing them as a couple(you can throw Alejandro and Rodolfo if it's okay with you)
Warnings: Fluff, relationship goals, grump x sunshine dynamic, black cat x golden retriever dynamic, reader is a florist, dark humor, Alejandro is a flirt, sweet moments, short, language, Spanish words, mentions of wedding, ghost is embarrassed, mentions of past trauma.
Word count: 1.7K
Tags: @nobodylivesson
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Simon wasn’t one to tell people about his past nor his personal life, keeping it hidden from his enemies and those closer to him. Throughout the years he had grown afraid of bringing someone into his life, even though he looked like a stoic and scary man when working in the military, deep down inside he showed that he cared for the people he worked with or lost during action.
After losing those he cared for he went back to being his stoic self, shouting demands at his own soldiers and killing his enemy in the most brutal ways imaginable. No one ever approached him unless out in the field or during a mission, but for a normal conversation he kept his distance around others until one unexpected mission he met him.
Y/n was the total opposite of Simon.
He met the man during one of his mission. He was a normal civilian with a normal life who owned a flower shop. Every time Simon saw him in the streets he shined brighter than the sun and always made his day better, knowing that he was safe. Simon didn’t know when these feelings towards the civilian started happening, but he can guess that it started when Simon was uncover, dressed out of his gear and without his mask, feeling so exposed and naked without it.
He was keeping an eye on his target and couldn’t draw any attention towards his way and had to get rid of his mask. He didn’t expect himself to bump into the ball of sunshine during his time out, watching as the other man carried a box of carnations and dripping on his own laces, before havoc occurred, Simon had stepped in without thinking and caught the man with one arm and with the other he caught the box of carnations.
Simon had come face to face with the florist that day and was received with a flower and a dinner date after the accident. Who wold have thought that the most serious man in the military would be dating someone much sweeter and brighter than him? Simon wasn’t suppose to get attached to him, but as dates and meets up occurred the poor man had fallen into the florists trap and couldn’t leave him alone without getting worried.
Both Simon and Y/n started dating after that until it bloomed into something serious.
The florist knew that Simon was busy with his own work and never questioned him and only told him to be safe and to comeback to him. Those simple words always encourage Simon to get through his mission in order to return back home to him.
It wasn’t until he was recruited into 141 a special forces team with much needed skills that could handle terrorists missions the dangerous stuff that no regular soldier would be able to handle. During his time with his new team he didn’t think he would grow attached to them to the point where he grew overprotective of them, they were his family.
He kept his relationship about Y/n very well hidden from the others and never left hints of him being in a relationship. Whenever Y/n sent him flowers he always left them somewhere out of base where they could either keep growing or for any small animals to claim, when he would send him letters, Simon would make sure to memorize his words before burning them. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his lovers gifts, no. It was because he was being safe, afraid that his enemy could get their hands on it and use it against him.
When Y/n first found out about the ways that Simon treated his gifts the florist was upset, thinking that the bigger man didn’t appreciate his gifts and was probably embarrassed by the things he wrote but, Simon had reassured the man that he did love his letters and was simply being safe. It didn’t take long for the two to fix the miscommunication and clearing things up.
Their relationship continued on for a year.
When Simon was stationed in a base in Mexico he figured he would be there longer than planned, eager to get back home to his lover, but controlling himself. They were staying in Alejandros base, going over some plans and reminding themselves what they are to do. After the events with Shepard and Graves the 141 team had grown close with Alejandro and his partner, helping them when its needed.
The good thing is that they had a few days off, getting a break from all the chaos and being able to relax for a bit. Some went off base to be with their families while others stayed behind, like Simon did. It was no use getting back home, flying out will take time and for him to only be with Y/n for a day or two and then to fly out again was torture. He’d rather spend those days either locked in his own room or practicing his combat with those who stayed behind.
What Simon didn’t expect was a knock on his door, alerting him of someone’s presence and to pull the door open and see Soap on the other side with a small grin on his face. Simon didn’t like the look on his face and narrows his eyes under his balaclava.
“What is it Johnny?” His voice is deep when asking as the Scottish mans grin widens.
“We’ve got a lad up front, claiming that he knows you.”
Simon raises a brow confused at first until Soap speaks up again.
“He brought flowers.”
Those words are enough for Simon to storm out of his room, brushing past Soap as he makes his way towards the front entrance of the base. Simon doesn’t want to overthink and believe that its Y/n because what would that man be doing out this far from home? It was dangerous and Simon could not have him wandering around the streets.
When Simon finally appears near the entrance his eyes immediately land on Y/n who stood patient while staring down at the flowers in hand as one of the soldiers stood by and watched, being cautious of him.
“Y/n?”
Simons voice gets the mans attention, lifting his head up and smiling widely.
“Si—Ghost!” Y/n quickly corrects himself, not wanting to give away Simons identity out in the open as he walks up to him and wraps his arm around his torso, smiling widely before standing on his toes to kiss his covered cheek. “Surprise?”
Simon chuckles. “A surprise indeed, why are you here?” He asks, hands touching Y/n’s shoulders and arms, wanting to make sure that he got here safe without any problems. The other didn’t bother batting Simons hands away and allows him to check him over. “I’m here on a flower delivery, this beautiful couple bought a big order and had to get it shipped here on time for their wedding and the couple were nice enough to let me stay for the ceremony.” He explains.
“You attend a wedding?”
“Mhm! I also stole the center piece.” Y/n gives off a mischievous grin as he held out the small case of flowers while Simon rolls his eyes. “Stealing your own flowers isn’t really stealing.”
Y/n pouts. “Don’t ruin my fun.” He mumbled out while handing Simon the small vase of flowers which gets the man chuckling a bit.
“Was that a laugh L.T?”
Simon’s smile quickly falters when hearing the familiar Scottish man who stood over his shoulder while looking at Y/n with a knowing smile. “Hello.” Y/n greets with a small wave at the other man.
“Who do we have here?”
Y/n smiles as he sticks his hand out for a shake. “I’m Y/n, Ghosts boyfriend.” He says proudly while shaking Soaps hand who stares in disbelief. “Boyfriend? Who would have thought that Ghostie knew what love is?” He was clearly teasing the man and Simon wasn’t amused by his jokes, but Y/n was.
“I know right? He may look scary in the outside but in the inside he’s a softie.” Said Y/n.
“Who’s a softy?”
Simon wanted to groan when Gaz approached them next a hand on his hip as his eyes dart from Simon to Y/n, before figuring out the situation and turns to Y/n with a charming smile. “Gaz, Ghost and Soaps teammate.” The florist chuckled at Gaz charm and shakes his hand too. “Y/n, Ghosts boyfriend.” He introduces himself.
Introductions continue on when they move further into base where the finally meet up with Price who possibly already knew about Simon’s relationship, but pretends like he didn’t know when greeting the young man. Everyone’s was still surprised to know that someone so happy and bright could be Simons lover.
Simon who was always brooding and cracking dark humorous jokes that not many of the others laughed about. Funny to say that Y/n laughed at a few of them which always made Simon smile.
“Well, well, a quien tenemos aquí?”
Alejandros smooth voice cuts into the crows, making his way through as the man eyes Y/n up and down before taking his hand into his own and kissing the top of his hand, earning a soft blush from Y/n who chuckled in a flustered manner. “I see we have a romantic one amongst everyone.” He gently pulls his hand away while Alejandro chuckles. “Rumor has spread that fantasma, here got himself un amante.”
Y/n raises his brows in shock. “Wow that fast, huh?” He laughs out, looking over his shoulder to Simon and playfully smacking his chest before focusing back to the others. “It was very nice to meet everyone, Simon talks highly of everyone.” Everyone on Simons team slowly looked at him with mischievous grins and smiles on their lips while Simon glared at them in return.
“You don’t say?” Says Soap. “Got any embarrassing stories of him?”
“OH! I do! There was this one time when we were in bed together—!” It wasn’t until Simon quickly covers his lovers mouth with his large hand, stopping him from going any further. “Time to go, love.” Simon orders while wrapping his arm around his waist and dragging him away.
Y/n groans, but doesn’t stop himself from waving the others goodbye. “Bye! Hope to see you all soon!” He shouts from across the base while the others waved in return, watching as Simon dragged his lover away from his men, glad that he’s wearing his balaclava in order to hide the embarrassing blush on his face.
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abyssruler · 1 year
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flowers and unplanned proposals
xiao x gn!reader
if someone gifts an adeptus with flowers, it means you are proposing to them, and if they take it, it means they accept the proposal. unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you ask), you weren’t aware of such a custom. or — xiao thinks you’re married, but you just thought flowers would look nice on him.
fluff. comedy-ish. accidental malewife acquisition. featuring reader being clueless, xiao being hopeless, and lumine and hu tao being your biggest supporters
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It started with a walk on the road as an acquaintance accompanied you.
There’d been a wild flower by the side, with white and lilac petals that you’d thought, rather presumptuously, would suit the dour faced adeptus beside you. So, you plucked it and impulsively handed it to him, a smile on your face and a shocked one on his.
His fingers closed around the flower’s stem, the stern lines of his face softening as he gazed at the tiny petals that glittered in the sun.
You’ve never been rid of him since.
Your friend Xiao could be described as protective at best and possessive at worst. It’s not a bad thing, of course! Caring for a friend is always a good thing in your books, but sometimes, you think he takes the word ‘caring’ to an almost extreme degree.
Take, for instance, now.
“Xiao?”
He hums from his spot on the sill of your window, not even sitting, no, he’s crouched on it, balanced on the thin ledge at the tips of his toes and keeping his eyes (which oddly glowed like a cat’s) peeled for any danger. Like this, he almost looks like a bird perched on a branch.
You let out an awkward laugh. “You know, I appreciate you doing this for me, keeping me safe and all, but I think I can spend the night on my own safely.”
His head whips to you so fast you almost feared he’d get neck cramps, an expression of surprise and… hurt? on his face.
“You… don’t want me here?”
You’ve never backtracked so fast in your life. “No! I mean, yes—but not in the way you’re thinking!”
He looks forlorn now, stepping down the windowsill and shoulders hunched in a similar manner to that of a cat pulling its ears down its head. “Is this what the Traveler meant by sleeping on the couch?”
You’re not sure what to do, but it seems like he wants to sleep on the couch? Puzzled, you smile encouragingly even though you don’t quite understand his words. “Er, if you want to sleep on the couch, you’re welcome to do so?”
His face falls.
“And, I don’t know, he just became all—sad? Just, I felt so bad for basically kicking him out of my room, and now that I’m thinking more on it, I should’ve just offered to let him sleep beside me. Like a, um, a sleepover!”
There’s a distinctly bashful look on your face and, oh god, you’re drawing little circles on the table with your finger, an almost dreamy glint in your eyes.
Sweet Jesus that doesn’t exist in this world, Lumine is going to barf.
She slams her hands on the table, startling you in the process as she leans down and says with an exasperated face, “Have you considered that maybe you actually like him and he—”
“What?!” you squawk, mouth open in disbelief and a mortified look contorting your features. “That’s—don’t say such things, Lumi!”
She drops back down her chair, leveling you with a look that basically said, are you for real right now?
“It’s written all over your face—”
You quickly slap both hands on your cheeks, turning your head away. “I don’t like him! How could I ever… he’s an adeptus and I…”
“And you made an adeptus sleep on your couch,” Lumine deadpans.
She can feel the way your face burned at the reminder. You slump over the table, burying your head in your arms and bemoaning your decision. “I didn’t mean to disrespect him…”
“Oh, I’m sure disrespect was the farthest thing you did to him,” she mutters beneath her breath. Broke his heart, shattered his hopes and dreams, devastated him—Lumine can name a few more.
But then, you suddenly straighten up, determination lining your face. There’s a look in your eyes that tells Lumine she should probably stop you from doing whatever idiotic thing—however in good faith it might be—that you’re about to do.
“I should give him some flowers as an apology. He always gets so… not exactly happy but—warm, that’s it. He feels warmer whenever I give him flowers.” You smile, reminiscing on whatever moments you had with him. You stand up, looking down at the empty plates all over the table before looking at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, could you foot the bill this time?”
Lumine sighs. She’s still got money from the last commission Ningguang made her do, so she supposes she can do it. Just this once. “Fine, but you’re paying for our next outing!”
You beam, thanking her before running to the nearest flower shop or wherever it is you’re going to be getting those flowers from.
“Make sure to let him sleep on your bed next time!” Lumine yells to your retreating back, ignoring the strange, almost scandalized, looks from nearby patrons.
You find him at your house, completely ignoring how strange it is that a friend has complete access to your house including a spare key and extra clothes on the closet just for him. It’s simply become the norm, is all. And he’s a good—you don’t quite know what to call him, roommate? you’ll settle for friend—friend, helping you with the chores and often accompanying you to the market when you need new groceries—but only during the early mornings, of course. You know how much he dislikes crowds.
“I’m home!”
The response comes immediate and, judging by the direction, it came from the kitchen, “Welcome home.”
The large bouquet of glaze lilies interspersed with roses and qingxin flowers is heavy on your arms as you walked to the kitchen. Xiao is there, a broom in hand which he sets aside once he sees you and what you’re carrying.
“Here!” You grin, extending the bouquet forward and into his arms.
He accepts it, a flush to his cheeks and looking distinctly flustered by the gift. “I… thank you.”
“It’s an apology.”
His eyes snap to yours, iridescent gold piercing through you. There’s something almost vulnerable in the way he’s gazing at you, hands tightening around the flowers.
You fiddle with your fingers. “Well, I wanted to say sorry for making you sleep on the couch. If you’d like, you can sleep beside me tonight.”
Something in him relaxes, tension bleeding out of his posture as he smiles, small and near unnoticeable to anyone who didn’t know him so well.
For some reason, the sight of it makes your heart leap.
Lumine’s words repeat in your mind.
Have you considered that maybe you actually like him?
No, you think with dread, absolutely not.
“Yes,” Hu Tao crows in delight, “You’re absolutely in love!”
“See, that’s what I tried to say yesterday, but nooo. Oh, Lumi, Xiao is just a friend,” Lumine grouches, imitating your voice and utterly failing because while she may be strong enough to fight monsters and gods, that girl has absolutely no talent when it comes to mimicking.
Your palms cover your face that feels warm to touch. “I do not sound like that. And it’s true, we really are just friends!”
“Of course, because friends do things like living together and sleeping on the same bed and holding hands—” You open your mouth to protest, but Hu Tao doesn’t let you interrupt, “—don’t deny it! I saw you last week near Liuli Pavilion, and he was holding your hand and carrying a bag of food!”
“He’s just really helpful! He’s an adeptus,” you argue, though it sounds weak even to your own ears.
“And do all adepti live with a human, do they sleep with them—”
“You make it sound so lewd, Lumi!”
“—do they hold their hands and go grocery shopping at five in the morning with them?” Lumine pierces you with those honey gold eyes of hers. “Did you know I barely have anything to do in the Adventurer’s Guild here in Liyue besides babysitting and errands because someone—namely, an adeptus who coincidentally goes by the name Xiao—keeps killing all the monsters within the area?”
Hu Tao cackles. “He always asks about you whenever I encounter him at Wuwang Hill.”
You level her with an incredulous look. “What were you even doing there?”
“Hiding bodies, duh!” At your horrified look, she winks. “Just kidding!”
You shake off Hu Tao’s laughter and pinch your lips together. “Look, it’s—we’re just friends. That’s all there is to it.”
Lumine huffs, “Yeah, sure, because friends like you two give each other flowers everyday. How does your house still have space in it for more?”
You would’ve refuted her words, would’ve argued that no, you don’t give each other flowers everyday, just on a regular basis—but Hu Tao’s sudden silence concerned you more than what Lumine said. The funeral director turns her head to you with wide eyes.
“You gave him flowers?” she asks, an odd tone to her voice.
Your brows furrow at her uncharacteristic seriousness. “Um, yes? I do it all the time.”
She leapt forward, grabbing your shoulders and lips twitching into something you could almost call glee. “And he accepted it?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
Hu Tao lets go of your shoulders to tilt her head back and laugh. Not the nice little giggles she does after a successful prank, no, this is more manic. The kind that wouldn’t make you think, oh how sweet, but instead makes you think, oh this girl belongs in a facility.
Even Lumine seems confused by her reaction, joining you in watching her like she’s just grown two heads. Hu Tao takes one look at both of your expressions and dissolves into another fit of laughter.
“Oh, dear. And you don’t even know what it means!” she says in between laughs.
Lumine, having had enough of being in the dark, grabs Hu Tao’s face with both hands and forces her to look at her in the eye. “What does it mean?”
Hu Tao grins, gaze darting to you. “When you give an adeptus flowers, it means you’re proposing to them.”
You and Lumine gape, understanding dawning on your heads, though there’s horror on your part at what it could mean.
But Hu Tao doesn’t stop there, “And if they take it…”
You await her next words with bated breath, Lumine seemingly on the edge of her seat as well.
“…It means they accept your proposal.”
Lumine’s screech of delight at this newfound information drowns out the metaphorical sound of your world falling apart and being built anew.
You come home in a daze, eyes blankly staring ahead and unaware of your surroundings until you blink, and suddenly, you’re sitting at the dining table, a plate of steaming shrimp balls being placed in front of you.
Xiao crouches by your chair, examining your face with worried eyes. “Are you well?”
Your throat shrivels up. All the words and arguments you’d been planning to say earlier dying on your tongue. So, instead, you nod. He doesn’t outwardly look relieved, but the softness in his touch belies his care as he places a single stemmed qingxin flower on your palm.
It’s still fresh, you notice, dew gathering on the petals and the scent still present.
Xiao sits on the chair opposite yours, looking at anything and anywhere but your eyes. “I plucked it from the highest mountains of Jueyun Karst, blessed by Cloud Retainer and said to ward away unwanted dreams.”
You stare down at it, at the white petals that feel soft against the pads of your fingers, heart beating out of your chest and hands clammy and breaths labored, a pleasant twist to your gut as you realized that he’d gone out of his way to climb a mountain and have it blessed by an adeptus just to give it to you. There’s being friends, handing each other flowers they saw on the road or bought at a shop, and then, there’s this.
Your mouth feels dry, your chest feels full, and there’s something on the tip of your tongue begging to be let out.
“Xiao,” you start, finally gaining the courage to look up and meet his eyes. “What are we?”
His lips part, eyes widening the slightest amount that tells you he’s unsure what brought this question on and how to answer it.
You shake your head. “Never mind. Just tell me this—are we… engaged?”
At this, Xiao seems to relax. “No.”
You barely have the chance to feel a mix of relief and disappointment, though why you’d feel disappointment at having proof that you and Xiao really are just friends—
He smiles, a small one but no less brighter for it. “We are married, aren’t we?”
And oh.
Oh.
It’s not until now, with the confirmation of everything you dreaded (everything you’d hoped and wanted and yearned for desperately) that you realize how much you’ve longed for something more with him—how much you’ve longed for him.
“Xiao,” you say, eyes crinkling at the corners and cheeks aching with the intensity of your smile, “I love you.”
He startles, blinking up at you with wide eyes, red creeping up his cheeks, but before he can say anything you know he’s not quite prepared to say yet, you continue, still a little indignant at discovering you’d been married without a clue.
“But I demand a proper wedding ceremony!”
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word count: 2.2k
edit: the semi part 2 y’all have been asking for
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