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beangfrisky · 1 year

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closet affairs

sakusa kiyoomi x reader

the party was loud and crowded which made sakusa’s frustrations with this night so much worse. ‘it’s a small gathering with some of our old friends’ ‘it’ll just be a casual thing’ his friends had sweet talked him into this one.

sakusa was not in the mood to drink which meant he definitely wasn’t in the mood to deal with drunk idiots. so he did what any sane person would do, hide.

this house was huge and yet every room seemed to be occupied by groups of people in various stages of intoxication. after nearly peeping on many indecent acts he finally found an empty closet. like the house, the closet was also huge so he sits on a stool in the corner and starts pulling up a new show to watch.

less than five minutes later the door bursts open and out pops a stumbling woman. sakusa sits frozen watching the scene unfold. the door slams shut behind her as she grabs the nearest handbag and screams into it.

“i am really not drunk enough for this.” you mutter to yourself.

“yea neither am i.” sakusa replies. you snap your head up in shock. he isn’t sure whether you will scream again or throw something at him so he remains quiet.

“what are you doing in a closet at a party?!” your voice only continues to raise in pitch. he finds it endearing, as well as the way your cheeks are suddenly pink.

“the acoustics are better in here. the people out there are really missing out.” you stare at him in disbelief. it’s just your luck to find a psychopath in the last empty room in this entire damn house.

“go find your acoustics elsewhere. i want to be alone.” he tilts his head like a confused puppy dog.

now that he looks closer your eyes are red too. have you been crying? sakusa can be an asshole but he has no interest in making women cry. maybe this would be a good time to cut his losses and go home.

right when he decides to get up and leave, his phone blares the opening to the office.

“were you watching the office? that’s one of my favorite shows! what part are you at?” you grab his phone and sit down on the stool he was using.

he hears you sniffle and readjust to get comfy. now that you have his phone hostage there is no way he is leaving, so he sits down and settles in on the floor next to you.

next thing he knows it’s 6am and you’ve watched three seasons together…

#and that folks is how i met your mother #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #kiyoomi fluff #kiyoomi imagines #hq x reader #haikyu smut #sakusa hcs

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angelofthenight · 1 year

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Alfie to you: (y/n) has no idea I’m high

You: You’re high?

Alfie: I’m sorry

Alfie turns to Tommy: (y/n) has no idea I’m high

#source: how i met your mother #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #incorrect peaky blinders quotes #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #reader insert #alfie solomons x reader #alfie solomons #Tommy Shelby #thomas shelby

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ramp-it-up · 2 years

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Wingman

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: Dodger is Chris’s best wingman.

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Not Beta’d, RPF. SMUT! Read at your own risk. Fluff, lil bit of angst, pregnancy body issues, pregnancy sex, nipple play, Daddy kink, p in v, creampie, after care, comfort fic.

A/N: This is in response to an ask from @bloomingpresent

This is part of the How I Met Your Father Series found here.

NOTICE: I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

You were about to be in a bad mood. You had about 10 minutes to get some food and you’d turn into a different person. You turned to look at Chris.

“You’re a thot and a slut.”

It was beginning.

“Ma’am!”

Chris gave you a wide eyed look.

“This is a Wendy’s.”

You scowled at the response.

You were, in fact, in a Wendy’s drive through, having felt an irresistible urge for a frosty and fries. After going to the dog park, Chris indulged you and pulled into the fast food chain.

The line was interminably long.

Dodger was resting his snout on Chris’ shoulder and you were snapping pictures as usual. You went to IG to post them and saw the ones Chris had posted from the dining room table that morning. That’s when you saw it.

You held the picture up to Chris’s face and he looked at it.

“Are you calling our dog, our beloved Dodger, a thot and a slut?”

Chris raised his eyebrow at you and adjusted his NASA hat. You looked into Dodge’s soulful eyes and patted his head.

“Dodger’s not going to get you out of this one. You know good and damn well what you did.”

You huffed and crossed your legs away from Chris.

Chris looked down and grabbed your thigh with his hand, uncrossing your legs by force and spreading them wide, but not moving his hand from just above your knee.

Anticipation made you want to squirm, but you remained resolute and continued your scrolling. When he saw that you really might be a little annoyed, he sighed.

“What are you on about Sweetie?”

You twisted your mouth, pulled up the pic again and pointed at it.

“That! That knob is clearly visible through your shorts, you… you… thirst trapper! And using Dodger to be your wingman, tuh!”

You were getting yourself worked up.

Chris squinted at the image and then rolled his eyes.

“You can barely see my… knob.” He chuckled at your euphemism. “I just thought it was a good pic of Dodge and wasn’t thinking about it being visible. You’re just a pervert.”

You were really getting heated now.

“Everyone has seen your dick Chris, and all your hoes know what it looks like through your pants. I see the thirsty thots commenting on all your pics, Darling.”

You gave him a saccharine smile and the sarcasm in your voice was not to be mistaken.

Dodger had shifted to your shoulder, trying to calm you down. He really was a good wingman for Chris.

You were almost at the window, so you turned your body away from Chris again and glared out the window. Chris knew enough to be quiet at this point.

“Frosty and fries?”

You heard the attendant at the window and smelled the food, so you turned toward them.

“Thank You.”

Chris was paying and taking the food, and the attendants’ eyes were wide.

“Holy Shit! You’re Chris Evans!”

“Yes–”

Chris responded and was cut off.

“And you’re his—”

Their eyes went down to your belly, which was clearly visible even though it was ensconced in Chris’s Petunias t-shirt from The Losers.

“Oh my God you’re–”

All at once three things happened, the attendant got their phone out, Dodger jumped up to block the view on the driver’s side window, and Chris exclaimed, “Thank you, keep the change!” while peeling out of the drive through lane.

It wasn’t until you got into the driveway and Chris let Dodger out of the car that you two looked at each other and cracked up laughing.

“I never thought I’d pay 20 bucks for a frosty and fries….”

“The look on their face…” You started laughing, then stopped, suddenly. “Oh shit, I have to pee…”

Chris came around and helped you into the house, your snack discarded on the kitchen counter as you went into the master bedroom. You’d eaten most of it on the way home anyway.

You decided to go ahead and take a hot shower, dreading the conversation. It was surely going to get out now that you were expecting. Chris would be upset. He was waiting for you on the couch.

“I have some menus. What do ya want for dinner?”

You smiled at Chris’s Boston accent and snuggled into your robe, then ordered what you wanted to eat. Then, you lay back in Chris’ arms as both your boys gave you love. Dodger was on your lap, ear on your belly, listening to the twins move. It was one of his favorite things to do. Chris’s hand was where Dodge’s head wasn’t, feeling for his children's kicks.

All you felt was surrounded by love.

Chris was kissing your neck and whispering in your ear.

“I called the publicist while you were showering and told them we had to get on a pregnancy announcement soon…”

You groaned.

“I’m sorry I insisted on Wendy’s and then the whole pic thing…I–”

“Stop apologizing. You were hangry. You’re carrying life. Double time. We were lucky to get six months of peace. Besides, I should have brought some snacks.”

Chris chuckled, and you realized he was not upset at all. You shifted and turned so you could kiss him. Dodger knew what was up. He got off your lap and disappeared.

“I love you so much, Daddy. You’re too good to me…”

You could feel Chris get hard underneath you.

You smiled into your kiss.

“I can’t believe you still find me attractive. I am a whale.”

“You are 6 months pregnant with twins. That I put there. When you let me cum inside you. Probably the very first time we had sex. That’s so fucking hot, Angel.”

Chris got you told in that sexy voice of his.

Chris reached for the tie in on the robe and your breasts spilled out. He picked up the swollen globes and licked his lips before he bent down to worship them.

He had you becoming a whimpering, wet mess on the couch before he stood up and led you back to the bedroom.

He raised his eyebrow as you giggled.

“What?”

You pointed at his black shorts, which were greatly distended at the moment, comically so.

He glanced down and smiled back up at you.

“Yeah. You get me there Mrs. Evans.”

He pulled you into his arms again and gave you a kiss and then hastily took off his clothes. Then, he came toward you again and ran his hand down the length of your body while looking into your eyes.

“Can I be inside you? That's all I wanna do right now. You are a goddess.”

You blushed at Chris’ compliments, bit your lip, and nodded. You lay down on your side on the bed and Chris just watched you for a minute.

“So beautiful…”

Chris lay down behind you and grabbed your thigh, lifting it up and open so that he could enter you. His bulbous head breeched your extra wet canal, and was seated there. After a few strokes and slides and swipes of your clit, you were shuddering at his girth, and at the feeling of such fullness and pleasure, which surely you should be used to by now.

“I’ll never get over how we fit together…”

Chris was reading your mind as he started to slowly rock inside you. He groaned as he picked up your thigh, and the pace a little. He was literally gliding inside you.

“No matter how many have seen me baby, this dick is always only for you. My one. My only. My Angel.”

“Oh Chris….”

You murmured, well on your way to heaven as your husband lit you up from the inside out.

“Mmmmmm. So fucking tight Angel. Does it feel good?”

Chris was gripping your breast and lightly rubbing the sensitive nipple. He watched your arch your back and how your mouth became an erotic ‘O’ for him.

“Damn, that mouth Angel. So so good. Need something to suck?”

You nodded vigorously, halfway hoping that he’d pull out and let you, and halfway hoping that he’d stay inside you forever.

He gave you his thumb and you took it, swirling your tongue around it.

“Ssssshhhhitttt!”

Chris’s stroke paused, and then stuttered. He bent down and sucked your neck as you felt him pulse inside you.

“You’re trying to make me cum. Aren’t you?

“Yes Daddy. Paint my walls.”

“Oh my god. Unghhhhh.”

Chris’s cock pulsed harder inside you without him moving, and then he rolled you over, lifted your hips, and gained greater leverage to fuck you right.

Your brain short circuited, because the increased blood flow had you cuming almost immediately.

Chris pistoned his spend into you as you melted around him, and you both ended in a heap on the bed. You were soon fast asleep and awoke when Chris opened your legs to clean you with a warm washcloth.

He kissed your forehead as you drifted off again, that smile brightening your life. You slept until you smelled food, which caused you to dress quickly in another of Chris’s shirts and panties and pad into the kitchen barefoot.

You walked in on a private conversation between Chris and Dodger.

“Our plan worked, buddy! She noticed and I scored. High five!”

Dodger reached up and touched Chris’s palm.

Chris’s smile faded as he heard you clear your throat and turned to see you scowling at him.

“Hi Angel. You hungry?”

Feedback. Yes. 🤩

#chris evans #ask dj #chris evans smut #chris evans imagine #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x reader #how i met your father #how I married your mother #Dodger Evans #chris evans rpf

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lady-ashfade · 1 year

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* Aegon walking in on y/n laying in their bed*

Y/n pregnant with aemonds baby.

Aegon: Do you think-

Y/n: I don’t wanna hear it.

Aegon: If you and I were to-

Y/n: I don’t wanna want to here it.

Aegon: If I did hard, like really hard. Do you think it will become my baby?

Y/n: I was right, I didn’t wanna hear it. * Throws a pillow and him*

(Source: How I met your mother. I saw a small clip and it reminded me of them)

#how i met your mother #yandere house of the dragon #house of the dragon x reader #yandere house of the dragon x reader #house of the dragon #Aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen

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siennafrxst · 10 months

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↳ fate 𖤐𓈒࣪₊˚

pairing: barney stinson x female reader

universe: how I met your mother (HIMYM)

word count: 1.1k words

cw: cringe 😍

click here to read the sequel.

As Barney swirls the whiskey in his glass, he scans the room to hunt for his next unsuspecting prey. In other words, the next woman he was gonna gaslight into having sex with. (💀)

Then, his eyes land on someone across the bar, sitting all alone by herself. Intrigued, he slowly approaches her while coming up with another one of his inane backstories to entice his victim as per usual.

But then, to his surprise, she turns to face him. “Hey, you need to try this.”

Slightly taken aback, Barney stares blankly at the drink in her hands, not expecting her to be the one to initiate conversation. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

She lightheartedly frowns at his response. “No, I just want you to take a little sip. And no, I promise I didn’t drug it either. Here.” She takes a sip from her glass as proof, as though reading his inner thoughts.

Convinced yet still slightly bewildered, he shrugs. “Alright, fine; gimme.”

She hands him over the drink as he sets his down before promptly taking a sip, his eyes widening at the unfamiliar taste.

“Woah, that’s-“

“I know, right?”

He smiles softly at the grin on her face, seeming to lighten up his mood. “I’m Barney, by the way.” He reaches out a polite hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.” She takes his hand in hers and shakes it.

“It’s my pleasure. So, what’s a pretty lady like you sitting all alone in a bar?“

“And if I told you that I was waiting for someone?”

Barney lets out a scoff. “Then you wouldn’t have been wearing that frown on your face earlier.”

Y/N shrugs, knowing that he wasn’t wrong. “Fair enough. You want the honest, boring answer?”

He nods. “Try me.”

“I’m here to blow off some steam. I’ve been trying to find a job for weeks now. Can’t even nail a decent interview.” She chuckles softly, shaking her head to herself. “And what about you? Tall, blond guy in a brooding suit. What’s your reason?”

Barney sighs. “Do you want the honest, not-so-boring answer?”

“Try me.”

He slowly leans in closer, as though he was about to share an important secret. “I was sent as a spy from the future to warn about the upcoming rapture one thousand years from now. And the only way to save the world is-“

“Let me guess, to have sex with you?” she cuts him off, clearly not amused.

Barney blinks his eyes innocently, surprised at her sudden question. “What? Pssh, no,” he says, seemingly appalled. “Do you want to?”

Y/N rolls her eyes at the desperate man. “Okay, I see, so the reason why you’re here is to hit on dumb blondes and gaslight them into having sex with you by using one of your inane backstories?”

“And it seems as though you’re not one of them.”

They smile at each other, both cockily in a way that was playful yet enticing.

“I’m curious, though… does that actually work?”

“Oh hell yeah, and that’s not even one of the craziest ones I’ve used.”

Her eyes widen slightly, now intrigued. “Really?”

Barney nods. “I could tell you more, but we may have to be here for hours.”

Y/N turns around to check the clock on a nearby wall before promptly facing him once more. “I got some time to spare.”

Barney smiles, satisfied with her answer. “That’s what I like to hear.”

He sits on the chair beside hers as he proceeds to tell her more about his desperate ploys.

To them, their conversation had only lasted for a few minutes, but the next thing they knew, the bar was already closing and they had to be personally kicked out by the bar owner for overstaying their welcome.

The two decided to walk around the city late at night, lights flickering past as the moon shone high above, seeming to follow them in their journey.

“Wait, what time is it?”

Barney checks the watch on his wrist, suddenly putting a halt to his movements in surprise. “Woah. It’s almost 2AM.”

She stops to stand beside him, her eyes widening. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, we just spent like 4 hours talking to each other.”

“Huh.”

“Huh indeed.”

They both take a moment to stare at one another, the silence oddly comforting. When they were together, it was as if nobody else mattered. No one else was sharing the moments they had except for the two.

Y/N purses her lips before speaking up, finally breaking the silence. “Well then, I have to confess something before this night ends.”

He hums, signaling for her to continue.

“I don’t usually let some guy even go near me whenever I’m at a bar, sitting alone grumpily.”

He chuckles lightly.

“But… I actually enjoyed our little date that isn’t a date.”

He smiles, taking a subtle step closer towards her. “Well, I think every date that isn’t a date should end with a good night kiss.”

He leans in to connect their lips, but to his surprise, she leans away.

“Tell me, Barney, do you believe in fate?”

Barney — clearly disappointed — frowns at her sudden interruption. “No, not really.”

She simply smiles at his disgruntled expressions. “Well, I do, and if we’re meant to be, then we’ll see each other again.”

“So am I not getting my good night kiss or…?”

She chuckles at his little pout. “Look, if we ever cross paths again, then you can give it to me. No questions asked.”

“Why can’t I just give it to you now? I promise I’m a great kisser. I got like a hundred different girls who can attest to th-“

She puts a finger over his lips, shutting him up in an instant.

“Be patient. I promise, next time, I won’t make you wait one more second.”

“If there even will be a next time.”

Y/N frowns at him as she removes the finger on his lips, earning an eye roll from him.

“Fine, if you want to play hard to get, then so be it.”

She smiles. “Good.”

“At least let me walk you home. Where’d you say it was you lived again?”

She gives him a knowing look. “Haha, nice try,” she says in a sarcastic tone.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying. But seriously, you sure you’ll be okay? It’s pretty late, and New York is filled with all kinds of creeps.”

Y/N smiles at his worried expressions. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I don’t live that far from here.”

Barney’s eyes light up, pointing a finger at her. “Aha! So you do live somewhere in this area.”

“I could also be messing with you.”

He rolls his eyes at her once more as she giggles at him.

“Good night, Barney.”

He returns the smile on her face. “Good night, Y/N.”

this isn’t one of my best but I haven’t been posting in a while so… yeah. thanks for reading. x

click here to read the sequel.

likes and reblogs are vv appreciated.

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obsessive-ego · 1 year

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Beetlejuice: I don't wanna be y/n's "boyfriend"

Barbara: well, what do you want then?

Beetlejuice: i don't know, I just wanna be with them all the time, I wanna hear about their day, tell them about mine, I wanna hold their hand, smell their hair, pfft, but I don't wanna be their stupid "boyfriend"

Barbara:...

#beetlejuice x reader #musical Beetlejuice x reader #he has feelings but hes also stupid #from how i met your mother

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rxmqnova · 7 months

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Y/N: Let's talk about baby names!

Wanda: Y/N...

Y/N: Oh my god! That was my first choice too.

#source: how i met your mother #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #wanda maximoff incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader

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harveywritings92 · 1 year

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Soap, spins his chair around, petting Vent the cat: Why, hello, I’ve been waiting for you.

{R/n looks puzzled.]

R/n: Wait a second, that’s not my chair. Did you bring that chair yourself?

Soap: I needed one that swivels

R/n: Does Ghost know you have his cat?

Soap:...

Soap: Damn, I knew I forgot something!

#s: how i met your mother #call of duty modern warfare incorrect quotes #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #afab reader

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rayelovesfanfictions · 1 year

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Being Ted's little sister

Author's Note: I wrote this a while ago and even though I probably won't write any HIMYM stuff in the near future, I don't wanna let this headcanons go to waste... So enjoy!

He's always very considerate, thoughtful and understanding. Though he does crack a lot of jokes when you're trying to tell him a story, he knows his limits.

He gives the best advice... Not in fashion, though.

He definitely has a soft spot for you

He never lets you near Barney. Never.

Definitely gives you his jacket when it's cold which you found very odd because he never does that before

If you're having a bad day or if there's something going on with you, he'll know before anyone else notices

And if you are having a bad day, he usually takes you out to your favorite place (either a restaurant or a bar) to cheer you up

You can't wrap your head around the fact that you both used to scream at each other’s faces when you both were teenagers, but now you guys are so caring for each other

Even Marshall and Lily were very confused about how calm and loving you both are now, compared to a few years ago when you guys are still in college

But you both still roast each other very often

If a guy ever breaks your heart, he's not afraid to throw hands (with the help of Marshall, of course)

When you're feeling gloomy or needed a shoulder to cry on, Ted would be the first person to come to mind. Same thing goes to him.

You never realized after all those years, he actually gives you the best hugs. It's always comforting to you.

The presence of him always seems calming to you. It's like you know he can protect you, and he always will.

When it comes to you, he's never hesitant to apologize first

He's the first person to show up when you're sick

Even though you both used to fight and argue a lot when you were younger, now you both realized how important and how you both love each other so much

Since the only Mosby living in New York are you and Ted, he has become the person you trust most

#how i met your mother #himym #himym imagines #himym x reader #himym ted mosby #ted mosby #marshall eriksen #lily aldrin #barney stinson #robin scherbatsky #ted mosby x reader #ted mosby x y/n #x reader #x y/n #siblinghood #platonic #headcanons #fanfiction #fanfics

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