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#how to rekindle a conversation
akkivee · 10 months
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hitoya came to visit jakurai that night after their battle y’all 🤭🤭🤭
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mgs3dickeater · 5 months
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ohh
#i very rarely talk about stuff like this because i tend to be a very personal person on social media but#ive only really just realized that i guess its true most people will let things fade away on purpose if they dont deem the friend important#and that theyre not like me and will be happy to jump right back into conversation after not speaking for years#ill do anything to keep a friendship and im starting to think thats a problem? that its abnormal?#i dont know. ive always been the one reaching out to try to rekindle something. and after so many turn downs and no effort to hold#conversation i really dont have much of an option to assume that its being done on purpose#believe me im really not the type to immediately assume negative intention in fact quite the opposite#which again... i cant really ever tell when im unwanted versus just feeling unwanted#i think the worst thing is that looking back on conversation i wasnt always the best friend. not the best conversation partner#so then naturally ive got to be like... well... youve made your bed‚ i suppose#its really funny how many times in my life ive found myself thinking 'i really wish i had the insight back then that i do now'#unfortunately it was hardly ever a conscious decision i ever made to act like that. but saying i didnt know any better feels like a cop out#i really did try to know better‚ though. growing up felt like violently clawing my way into trying to understand anyone and everything#i dont know. a lot to think about
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yardsards · 2 years
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i cleaned my room today and am really proud of myself :D
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chaos-mybeloved · 1 year
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Just casually made plans to hang out with someone I barely spoke to in high school because they posted a pic of their new tattoo and I commented saying it was cool. Not to sound depressing but I literally haven’t had friends or anyone to really hang out with in like close to 3-4 years now and I am freaking out??? How do you friend??? I haven’t had to friend in so long I forgot how to do it?????? What if I friend badly??? I’m gonna throw up
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fnibble · 2 years
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it sure is a night
#friend#i havent done your standard ramble im the tags for attention stunt in a while#probably because ive really socially mellowed out over the yeara#years#and by that i mean i have really socially pulled back from anyone and everyone#the exception being my boyf and close family#but even then its only my bf i talk to ever#and family if necessary#i essentially have no active friends#ive reduced my social contact as a result of most likely depression and anxiety#and any friends or acquaintences ive had have stopped trying to talk to me#because i cannot carry a conversation anymore and i cannot start any conversation#and i dont know how to fix it and i feel like i dont want to fix it#both lonely and also scared of... NOT being alone#i saw a post about loneliness the other day#and i think about how i have withdrawn socially and have stayed socially withdrawn for years#i just go to work and go home and draw and discord my bf and then sleep#and even then i draw the minimum amt needed for my comic#and when my bf is asleep because he's overseas - the loneliness really settles in#and even if someone tries to talk to me or tries to rekindle any semblance of friendship from me#i let it die because im terrible socially and i just dont know how to fix it#therapy might be good for me but i cant being myself to do it#like i cant bring myself to do anything anymore than i have to#theres also an old who chats me up once or twice but they are always suspiciously interested in if i am still in a relationship#and always ask about it while preemptively saying sorry if im not with my bf anymore#so that doesnt help my social anxiety and paranoia#its late#im even fearful of anyone reading this and trying to reach out to me#because i know it wont work#i need to figure it out
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weasleyreidstyles · 4 months
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Serendipity Masterlist
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summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.
series status: ongoing
“serendipity is the phenomenon of discovering something interesting or valuable by chance”
no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. All characters are aged up to be over 18. and bellatrix isn't mattheo's mother in this fic (just fyi)
pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader
general warning(s): 18+ content, angst, fluff, some canon compliance, some canon divergence, typical wizarding world violence, war, torture, drugging, hospitals, familial problems, mean!harry, mean!ron....
** indicates smut warning
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~∞~ chapter one
chapter summary: on the trainride to your sixth year, your friends give you a proposition that you can't refuse.
~∞~ chapter two
chapter summary: it's your first day back as a sixth year student. Classes are more intense and your first lesson with Mattheo ensues.
~∞~ chapter three
chapter summary: the first Hogsmeade trip of the year has a rather unpleasant ending.
~∞~ chapter four
chapter summary: after you end up confined to the Hospital Wing, you're surprised when Professor Dumbledore pays you a visit.
~∞~ chapter five
chapter summary: Mattheo has been avoiding you. You find and confront him after a frustrating week.
~∞~ chapter six **
chapter summary: the growing tension between you and Mattheo snaps. He reveals something about yourself that you has scarcely any prior knowledge of.
~∞~ chapter seven
chapter summary: joyful dinner parties and a switch in point of view. Two juxtaposing starts to the christmas holidays.
~∞~ chapter eight **
chapter summary: you're given plenty of revelations: all equally as daunting as the other.
~∞~ chapter nine
chapter summary: Ginny ambushes you in the library and Ron's birthday is off to a delirious start.
~∞~ chapter ten
chapter summary: in the aftermath of Ron's poisoning, Harry learns a thing or two about where your loyalties lie when he overhears your private conversation with the headmaster.
~∞~ chapter eleven
chapter summary: intent on avoiding him, you underestimate just how desperate Mattheo is to be around you.
~∞~ chapter twelve
chapter summary: new friendships are formed and you finally learn to control your abilities. Mattheo comes to a life altering realisation.
~∞~ chapter thirteen **
chapter summary: idk how to summarise this but i will say it's pure smut...enjoy
~∞~ chapter fourteen
chapter summary: friendships are rekindled and you save Draco from certain death in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, igniting your powers in the process.
~∞~ chapter fifteen
chapter summary: now fully recovered, Draco has a task to complete. The fate of the Wizarding World hangs in the precipice of his actions.
~∞~ chapter sixteen
chapter summary: after a startling and gutting discovery. secrets are revealed and alliances are questioned as Voldemort's tyranny begins to fester into the beginnings of another war.
~∞~ chapter seventeen
chapter summary: Dumbledore's funeral reveals new allies as you navigate a world without its protector.
~∞~ chapter eighteen (coming soon!!)
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series oneshots/headcannons:
~∞~ tulips & starlight – valentines day drabble
~∞~ serendipity hcs (mattheo) – a glimpse at his life pre sixth year
~∞~ invisible string – bonus scene from chapter 16 **
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series taglist:
(striked out users are ones that i couldn't tag, reblogs of the individual posts have an extended taglist)
@camille-1019 @lovelyygirl8 @xluansstuff @babeylover @thejadeazalea @undercover-smutlover @adhxmoony @dreamingofonceuponatime @thepassionatereader @urmomsgayforme5 @aphroditeisamilf @devotedlycrookeddonut @purplegirls-posts @nofacenonamelikekira @foxboyapologist @lafrone @lovely-maryj @nromanovaswife @leeknows-wife @dracygf @wildlyobserving @ravenclawprincess33 @melllinaa @vellicora @lantsovheiress @emiliahoward @stunkbiggu @vcosette @prongsprincessworld @mattiesgirl @rachmmb @x-kermit-x @sun-fiower-seed @cas-planet @certaindreampost @weirdowithnobeardo @mikalovesicecream @sunasbbie @rainy-darling @faeriepigeons @lovely-blackinnon @hiireadstuff @gimalo135 @elsafromcabinsix @moonlightreader649 @blueshome @nopedefe @spencerreidsthings @navs-bhat @agent-tempest @magimtz23 @y0urm0m12 @sbrn0905 @leona-hawthorne @whatsupb18 @moni-cah @taylorann2013 @unstablereader @gisellesprettylies @nat1221
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mondaymelon · 4 months
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OMGGG what about the tall genshin men reacting when u suddenly distance urself from them, but they dont know its bc of something they said? feel free to edit n modify this as much as ud like :3
₊˚ෆ "𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓, 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄…" | diluc, childe, kaveh x gn!reader
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art by @/kongqingkoqi on twitter! (not too sure on who you meant by tall characters, so i just chose a couple males with the tall model~ thank you for your request!)
— cw: angst + comfort ? injury (diluc), ngl reader is kinda a bitch in childe's but it was the only way i thought up of of making the situation work so. lmao. cries
[ Perhaps it was the winter cold that had bit him so, or perhaps it was merely a gloom that had briefly descended upon him. Either way, an unfortunate slip of the tongue has wounded you, yet they themselves remain unaware. ]
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"Love?"
DILUC's eyes are round with worry, and his concerned gaze sweeps over you - from your crestfallen form, and then to your eyes that shy away from his. Ever since he had returned to the estate after being out of business since morning, you've been avoiding him, not wishing to speak a single word to his self and not even bothering to spare him a fleeting glance.
At first, it was bearable. Perhaps you just had had a long day and wanted some alone time, no? It was always a possibility, that is, until he saw your smiling self as you busied yourself in chatting away with the maids, and most importantly, that brother of his.
What had he done to warrant such treatment? You loved him, that he was sure of. Otherwise, you would've rejected him, wouldn't you? You wouldn't have let him take your hand and bring it to his lips ever so slowly, pressing a kiss into your knuckles?
"Love, I... I'm sorry. Please, tell me what I did wrong." His voice contains a shred of his desperation, and his crimson eyes only hold you in their gaze. You, who had broken past his carefully crafted walls and rekindled the flame that had long since been extinguished within his heart. "If it's something I did, if it's something I said-"
“Diluc, you…” Your quiet voice ebbs to silence as your eyes glance away, landing on everything except for the red-haired man before you, whose broad shoulders give the slightest tremor. The darkness in your expression, the displayed hurt… Ah.
Diluc’s weary mind raced, recollecting the hasty conversation from this morning, when dawn had yet to break and he had arrived home, coat blazing, skin littered in bruises and still-bleeding cuts. You had rushed out of your bedroom, still in your night garments, panicking over the wounds that covered his body and the red that blackened his already dark clothes. In a strained voice, eyes wide and frantic, you had called for the maids, only for Diluc to forcibly shush you, steadying himself on shaky legs.
“Love, what happened, what were you doing and how did-??”
“It doesn’t concern you.” His tone is low, tired. “Stay out of this, you won’t be able to offer any assistance anyhow.”
Begrudgingly, the man recalled his absolute exhaustion, having just returned after a bloody night of battling monsters, muscles sore and crying for relief. There was no need for your concern, his cuts would mend and his wounds would heal. Yet he hadn’t meant for his words to come out so harsh, for his tongue to pierce you in the way it had.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't in my right mind when I said that- I just... I just didn't want you to be hurt also... If I'm injured, those wounds will fade with time, but I.."
His words trail off, replaced with your silence - a voiceless agreement, one that Diluc takes as an answer. Holding both your hands in his gloved ones, it's somehow easy to feel his fiery warmth despite his cold demeanor. Cold... was it really so? The male's eyes shone, and then you were in his arms, tightly intertwined.
"..I don't know what I would do if harm were to befell you, love..."₊˚ෆ
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"Love!"
CHILDE's playful smile fades at its corners as you walk past him, the way you're failing to even acknowledge his presence painfully apparent. "Hah... what's with you today?" Another absence of a response. You dash your way out of his sight, and he's left alone in the dark living room, a half-smile still on his features. The fuck?
Okay, maybe it was just one of those days. There had been several since the start of the relationship, and the harbinger offered his utmost understanding. Sometimes people just felt like shit, and didn't feel like doing shit, and he could understand that to some extent.
There, mystery solved, yeah? Ah, but just one problem, how come you had been completely fine just an hour before? He had the day off, and so did you, so there was a mutual agreement to just stay home and laze about in one another's presence - yet it was only nearing lunchtime and you had already given him the cold shoulder? For what..? You hadn't even gone outside or did anything today-
Oh. Then he had to have been the problem. He raps his knuckles on your bedroom door, but it's really his bedroom too, and is bold enough to poke his head through the frame without waiting for your confirmation, a hesitant grin decorating his lips. "Love, I'm sorry- for ah... whatever you disliked...?"
You're sat at your desk, weariness evident in your darkened eyes. "Childe, do you find me someone who needs to be protected?"
He blinks. "...What?"
"Childe, do you really just want to spend the entire day lying around?" Snapping your fingers, your eyes lit up with sparkles. "We should go to a cafe or something for lunch, maybe, and then-"
"Why through go all the effort? We're staying home because I thought you wanted to, aren't we?"
"Not to that extent Childe... if you were with friends, what would you be doing? Not sitting on the couch all day, I hope?" A sheepish smile crossed your face.
"Hmm.. friends... I suppose we'd duel...?"
"Then-"
"Nope, no way am I dueling with you, you're way too weak, love, that's why I gotta protect you, hm?"
He immediately shakes his head at your words, almost frantic. "W- No, I didn't mean it in that way, love. You're capable, it's just that... Well- you don't have a vision, or a weapon, or-"
"Childe." Not your usual 'love', a bright smile on your lips, and he flinches just the slightest at the sight. "We're in a relationship. I don't want to be in a give all take all relation, you know? I.. I want to be independent, I want you to rely on me sometimes too... I just feel like sometimes I'm just such a burden to you and-"
"A burden?" His eyes widen, features instantly shadowing with disbelief at your words.
You, a burden? Such a thing couldn't possibly be. The warmth that you had granted him, the delicate arms that had held him in its hold, the lips that had whispered such affections and pressed kisses on his skin-
"No, love. You are not a burden, not when you are someone who makes life worth living." ₊˚ෆ
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"Love...?"
KAVEH's in instant full blown panic mode, the dark bags under his eyes especially evident with how wide they've grown. "H-Hey, are you okay?" Of course, something wasn't okay - otherwise, why would you be ignoring him like this? But his sleepless mind has grown frantic, and he's desperate for relief. His hand latches onto yours before you can disappear into another room, holding onto your wrist loosely enough to not seem forceful. "Ah..."
He'd moved without thinking, almost as if on instinct, and now that you had glanced back with something colder in your gaze, that same urge told him not to let go. "I, I'm sorry!" For what exactly, he wouldn't even be able to tell a soul, yet the words seemed to have done the trick, as your feet pause in the middle of a step away from him, hesitance clear in your expression.
"For what, Kaveh?"
Shit, he's fucked. This was it, all the all nighters and hours of laborious planning and calculations had led to this one moment... His mind was spurred into action as his mouth sputtered useless stutters and... oh, could it be?
"Kaveh, you should go to sleep, it's already so late, and you haven't gotten a good rest in days, love..." Your concerned tone rang clearly in his ears, but he shook the words away, his disheveled form only focusing on the work before him, the endless tasks he had yet to complete.
"No, I... I can't. Love, could you brew me a cup of coffee, the extra strong kind? Thank you..." He gave his sleepy eyes a rub, completely missing the look that had flitted across your face in that moment.
Your sigh invades his flashbacks, and you look completely done with him, brows furrowed a fraction and lips drawn into a thin line. "Kaveh, please, for the love of the archons, take some better care of yourself."
"...Ah?"
Suddenly, your tone had shifted in the span of a half second, and instead of the angry gaze he had expected, it was more so... scolding. Concern. "Close that jaw of yours, Kaveh, how come you look so surprised? I've told you this time and time again, you need rest!"
An accusing finger was pointed in his direction, the bearer someone he was certainly very familiar with. "Well, it's a big project, I have to finish it by next week and there's barely any time, so I need to-"
"-And how can you possibly plan on functioning if you haven't gotten any sleep?"
Curses, a valid argument. Kaveh slowly held up his empty hands in defeat, chuckling sheepishly. So this was about him, and not you? Thank the archons, for a second he had thought he had messed up big time-
"That look of yours, you better not be thinking what I think you're thinking! And, besides..." You glanced at the ground, as if suddenly reluctant to speak another word. "I was waiting for you so we could sleep together..."
...An angel? Was that who was before him?
"I-I'm sorry... I promise I'll take better care of myself and... you won't have to wait for me, tonight. I'll turn in early, love." ₊˚ෆ
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(a/n) not all that proud of this one. but here. sigh
reblogs are veryyyy appreciated!! if you liked this fic, please consider following, as im super close to a follower goal id love to hit before new years! thank you.
໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment ♡) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123, @scara-is-my-wife, @lupicalbestwolf, @justyoureader, @fiannee, @aether-darling 
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earthtooz · 15 days
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baby, would i still be your lover?
fluff with angst, 1k words, gn!reader celebrates their bday bc it's my bday today, reader likes pearls, childhood friends to lovers (?), ooc!al-haitham, conflict and resolving it, al-haitham's grandmother is featured.
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The best way to describe yours and al-Haitham's friendship is... unusual.
Having known him since childhood, you cannot say that he has changed much over the years. When your parents brought him to his grandmother's house to hopefully give the young boy a chance to socialise with something other than academic journals, befriending him was not easy.
He dodged all conversation you tried to make, ignored all attempts you made to play tag with him, completely evaded your childlike innocence. He always was more mature than everyone else his age, or rather, always acted like it.
Most unusually, he had an uncanny streak of pushing everyone out of his life, and you were not immune to the imaginary lashes he strikes, eventually removing yourself from his life too out of frustration.
At seventeen, when an unforeseen tension had lodged itself between you and al-Haitham, it deteriorated your friendship. One day, he had taken his opinions too far and sharpened his words too much, you left the House of Daena tearful and too wounded to see him for a while. It creates a distance between you two, one that lasts for three years.
At twenty, you visit al-Haitham's grandmother for the last time, and she makes you promise something. She pleads you to take care of her grandson, that for years, he has been hoping for the rekindling of your friendship, and she asks of you to make his wish come to fruition.
You reach out to him a month later on impulse. He invites you to dinner and drinks at Lambad's Tavern, and for the preceding week, it mentally drains you to think about being alone with him again.
He is already there when you arrive, sitting with crossed legs and arms at an empty booth. Showing up later than him gives you time to admire how he has grown. Now freshly turned twenty-one, time has served him well. He has grown into his sharp, taut features, and the way his grey hair falls accommodates his features well, and his build is impressive for a scholar. You've heard from others that he's graduated with the highest honours, and has already been offered a job at the Akademiya.
When the conversation begins, you're relieved to find out that nothing has changed from when you were both seventeen and fumbling teenagers.
As the only person who has stayed in his life since his youth, there is a bond that somehow cannot be severed. You apologise for what happened at seventeen, he does too.
As dinner passes, one thing becomes abundantly clear: al-Haitham does not need someone to 'take care of him' like his grandmother asked. What he did need, however, was his childhood friend that always knew how to push his buttons, and perhaps that was your way of 'caring' for him.
"Y/n." al-Haitham's broad figure looms over your desk, causing you to pause the scribble of words and numbers that you were in the midst of writing. "With your birthday coming in less than a month, I went to review our personal channel for gifts you'd like."
"Have you now?" You rest your chin on your hand, looking up at him through your lashes.
He completely ignores your question. "A sango pearl necklace? From Watatsumi Island? Is that your only desire?"
"I am easy to please," you shrug.
"Perhaps you misunderstand me. Is there no other gift that you'd appreciate?"
"Is a pearl necklace not possible?"
"One from Fontaine would be more achievable. Watatsumi Island, however, given our geographical distance and the fact that Inazuma is only just beginning to open up its transnational-"
"-So it's not possible? Even for the Grand Sage?"
"Acting Grand Sage, and whilst it is not impossible, I came to review with you possible alternatives for gift ideas that would provide the same marginal benefit."
"I suppose I could think of something else," you tap your chin. "One day I'll get my hands on those pearls, do you see the way they shine so clearly? You could use them just to fix your makeup! Cold to the touch and a clearer reflection are what make pearls high quality."
"How fascinating," he responds flatly and you pout. "In other news, it's lunch time now, and you promised you'd pay for my next meal at Lambad's."
You huff, compiling your papers together and clipping them together. "I was hoping you'd forget."
(As always, when the meal is said and done, he doesn't actually allow you to pay.)
A month later, when the clock strikes midnight on the day of your birthday, there is a series of knocks at your door. Unsurprisingly, you're greeted by al-Haitham's handsome face, now softer without the makeup he wears to enhance his features, but still beautiful nonetheless.
In his hands, he holds a gift.
"Happy birthday, Y/n." He declares, straight to the point, and hands you the box. "I hope it is to your liking."
The unassuming packaging only adds to your shocked delight when you see the contents inside.
"Sango pearls, from Watatsumi Island! You got me a necklace and bracelet set!" You squeal in pure excitement, treating the jewellery like fragile little things when you feel them. Cold to the touch, and you can see your reflection in them.
Pride shines in his eyes and a small smile pulls at his lips. He doesn't say anything except watch you freak out, satisfied with the hoops he had to jump through for this present.
"al-Haitham, I am so happy I could kiss you."
"I'd be happy to oblige."
The best way to describe yours and al-Haitham's relationship is unusual. You would do anything to get on his last nerve (without overstepping), and he would do anything for you.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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inuyashaluver · 23 days
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just read your newest alexia fic and it was fantastic!! please write more for her (ideally rivals x lovers but I don't really care what trope because both your alexia fics are fantastic so I'm sure I will be happy with any alexia fic you write!)
past reminders - alexia putellas
alexia putellas x reader
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description: in which you and alexia rekindle a old flame you both thought was completely destroyed
warnings: angst but happy! mentions of past situationships, heartbreak, swearing, spanish in bold italics! suggestive content, long - BUCKLE IN
a/n: i’ve been itching to write this lmao, thank you so much, my love!! i’m a sucker for enemies to lovers no word of a lie, please enjoyyyyy xx❤️
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
if someone was to describe the relationship between you and alexia, it was simply pure hatred.
to put it quite simply, you fucking despised each other, and you both thought it was for good reason.
even though yours and alexia’s pit of hatred ran deep, it wasn’t always like this. you and alexia were originally best friends, going back to years and years of friendship ever since the both of you were 7.
the two of you were inseparable, playing football together, going to school together, spending each and every afternoon together. it was the best, you truly had so much love for each other, twin flames that couldn’t be put out.
as the years went on, you and alexia grew older. and as the two of you grew together, so did affection bubbling under the surface. you and alexia had feelings for each other and never said anything of it.
well until one day at 19, you and alexia were hanging out at her house after training for barcelona, both of you getting signed at the same time after your booming success in the spanish teams.
you and alexia were side by side on her bed, the both of you giggly as you chatted and debriefed, even though you saw each other at every moment.
you weren’t exactly sure how the conversation started but alexia brought up that she hasn’t slept with anyone yet. your eyes were so wide at the conversation and her forwardness, not really comprehending what was going on out of pure shock.
you both knew you hadn’t your first times yet and alexia proposed something that took your breath away.
“if we sleep together for our first time, it’ll be good practice for later” alexia said like it was nothing, turning her head to look over at you. your cheeks were bright red, refusing to look her in the eye,
“ale” you breathe out nervously, “it’ll just be one time, friendly sex, nothing more” her body moved to perch up on her elbow, looking at you expectantly, “i trust you the most”
you glance over at her and harshly swallow the lump in your throat, alexia’s eyes drifted to where your neck had movement and smirked gently.
“one time?” you say so softly, alexia almost couldn’t hear it, she chuckles with a nod, her finger lightly tracing along your arm, smirking when goosebumps trailed on your skin.
“mhm, nena (babe), one time” she grabs your hand gently, her smirk only growing when you nod slowly “okay”, she kisses the corner of your mouth,
“mamá and alba aren’t home tonight” she whispered, reading your mind before her hand slipped up your shirt.
“don’t be nervous, it’s just me” she smiles softly, your breath hitched when she presses her lips to yours, moving together messily before her tongue licked into your mouth, a groan escaping the back of her throat when your hands carded through her hair and gently tugged.
and to put it simply, it wasn’t a one time thing. it was regular. very regular. almost every night. especially when she moved out of her mother’s house and had her own apartment.
alexia refused to put a label on anything. you were her best friend and nothing more, it was casual, platonic sex in her mind. and unfortunately for you, your heart yearned for her. you loved her, how could you not?
your heart would lurch at how kind she was after sleeping with you, kissing you affectionately and always cleaning you up afterwards with utmost care and diligence.
“so beautiful” she’d whisper, pressing gentle kisses along the length of your nose before pecking your lips multiple times.
alexia would send you suggestive smirks when she saw you at training, her eyes lingering as you changed and making sure to wink at you whenever you’d watch her change.
she would touch you more than necessary yet no one caught on. her hands would linger on your hips or waist as she moved passed you, giving you subtle kisses when you’d get a goal or just played well.
alexia was a very affectionate person, so everyone just thought the two of you were doing your regular best friend routine, unaware that alexia would drag you to her apartment almost every night to leave you breathless, marked up and shaky at the knees.
she was still your best friend of course, she just saw it as an added bonus. but for you, you wanted to call her yours, for you to be hers but the catalan didn’t want that.
she’d tell you almost every moment she could, “you’re my best friend” a chip in your heart that only grew bigger as the years progressed.
this went on for years, almost 5 consecutively and it was shocking no one caught on. she didn’t just sleep with you, she slept with other girls and you knew that but she’d always come back to you.
“they’re not you, they don’t know me like you” she’d tell you like clockwork, always making your heart a little fuzzy when you knew it shouldn’t.
it was torcherous for you, you tried to stop giving into her every time, but she’d give you those puppy dog eyes as she interlaced your hands together and you were done for.
and funnily enough, everything came to a stop when alexia got a girlfriend. when alexia got a girlfriend, she threw you away at the expense of her girlfriend’s words, “why do you need a best friend when you have me?” and because alexia ‘loved’ this girl, she dropped you.
she never returned your calls, she only talked to you at training when it was necessary. she wanted nothing to do with you. it killed her and you.
the once happy, bubbly duo went through an extremely dark stage at this point. you filling the void with random girls from team bonding nights at clubs and always regretting it later.
and whenever you would, alexia would fucking rip you apart over it. even after weeks of not talking.
“you look a little desperate, no?” she spat out as she walked up next to you at the bar. “fuck off” you glare at her, about to move away before she grabbed your wrist and pulled you back,
“it’s pathetic” she stares down at you, you roll your eyes in response. alexia could be with other people but god forbid you did.
“you’re pathetic, you can be with someone and i can’t?” you laugh humorously, alexia’s gaze growing colder by the second, a contrast from the warm alexia you loved so much.
“i have a girlfriend, i'm not throwing myself at anyone” another chip at your heart. from then on, alexia was truly nothing to you. you pushed her away harshly, promising that she wouldn’t have to see you anymore.
you left in a rush that night, making an effort to text your manager that you wanted to transfer in the upcoming window. so when the contract for madrid came along, you accepted.
you didn’t mind madrid, it was good for you. you were away from alexia and were actually strengthening your playing style and making some friends. and for you, a bonus was how mad it made alexia.
whenever madrid and barcelona would verse each other, people would definitely notice how much you and alexia hated each other.
the filthy looks said it all and not to mention the harsh words and dangerous tackles that would be made by the both of you.
when your spanish teammates would come over to you with bright smiles and warm hugs, you loved to watch alexia’s pissed off expression.
she’d get pissed when you wouldn’t even hug her as congratulations, you would shake her hand dismissively and take yours back like hers was made of fire. and yeah, maybe you were being a little childish, but she was too.
“you won’t die if you touch me, you know? but it’s fine when you fucking push me to the ground everytime i get the ball” she’d grit out, only make you grin in satisfaction,
“poor alexia, tell your girlfriend to kiss you better” you pout sarcastically, making an effort to bump her shoulder with yours as you walked past. you knew alexia was currently single, but you knew she hated when you brought up the girl. so you did it frequently.
you’d both get worried expressions from teammates after each time you interacted with each other, gaining a dismissive wave from both of you.
no one knew what happened, and you wouldn’t tell anyone what happened, and neither would alexia.
so everyone had to deal with the two of you being insufferable whenever in the same vicinity.
during camp for spain, you’d both give each other hell. it didn’t matter if you were on the same team, the arguing actually got worse.
“your passes are sloppy” alexia would say when you touched the ball, making you roll your eyes with a groan.
“okay, la reina (the queen), sorry we’re not all perfect” you narrow your eyes at her, making a show of kicking the ball harshly to her, hitting her shin as you sent her a sticking sweet smile.
she hated that that nickname when it fell from your mouth, wanting to just wipe that fucking smile off your face.
“don’t be jealous” alexia says smugly, you scoff at that, crossing your arms over your chest, “i would never be jealous of you” you look her up and down, the two of you approaching each other slowly as the argument heightened.
“oh really? isn’t that why you moved to madrid, couldn’t handle that i was better?” she’s up close to you now, your chests mere centimetres away from each other.
you breathe heavily as you look up at her, “yeah, i did move to madrid to get away from you” you argue, making her chuckle condescendingly, “good to see you have no loyalty” she darts her eyes between yours, trying to rile you up and it was certainly working.
“you want to talk about loyalty? remember you dropped me all those years ago?” you laugh in disbelief, body tingling with how close alexia was to you, a vast contrast to what you would do in the past at this proximity.
“i had my reasons” she says warningly, not wanting to get into this subject in the middle of training. “yeah, don’t worry i remember the texts, ‘i can’t be around you anymore, sorry’” you mock her,
“all because of that fucking girlfriend of yours, you dropped years of friendship with me” you send her an icy glare, one she was quick to return, “again with the jealousy” she mocks, you’re quick to give her a shove, “fuck off, putellas” you grit, alexia comes right back, her eyes boring into yours.
“you’re a child” she challenged, “excuse me?” you bite back, “you’re. a. child.” she breaks down each word intentionally, making sure it lingered in your ears. you’re both heavy breathing at this point, faces dangerously close to each other.
“i’m the child? you’re the fucking child, alexia!” you exclaim, now mapi and jenni coming over to separate the two of you.
“you’re both children, enough” jenni warns, pushing alexia by the chest away from you as mapi held you back.
“best friends for years and now you can’t even talk to each other like adults” mapi scolds, you and alexia sending each other glares and mouthing insults at each other.
“she knows what she did” you spat out, letting ona drag you away. alexia watched as you left, sighing heavily when her mind raced with all those good times you had. she missed you, dearly. she was just terrible at showing it.
it was childish for the both of you, but alexia had broken your heart so many times, you felt like you were just protecting your peace.
alexia did feel bad for the way she dropped you, she did love you, truly as much as you did with her. but she couldn’t bring herself to put a label on things with you just out of pure fear.
at first, she didn’t want to lose you, alexia wanted to shield you from everything bad in the world and tell you everything was going to be okay with a kiss.
but alexia thought she fell in love with her ex girlfriend and listened to her, even when she had feelings for you.
she didn’t know how harsh the consequences would be. losing you completely tore out a piece of her soul.
it was during a random match between madrid and barcelona in 2020 where things took a shift, just before off-season. the score was neck and neck, a typical harsh match between the rivals.
you and alexia still ‘hated’ each other but were much more tame about it, just choosing to ignore each other rather than outwardly argue.
you were on the ball when a defender from barcelona came up from behind you out of no where, making you attempt to dodge around her until a sharp pain shot up your knee. a pop.
you went down with a piercing scream, the sold out stadium going quiet at you clutching your knee in pain. and funnily enough, the first person to you was alexia.
“move away from her” she spat out, her hand coming to the back of your head and placing it on her thigh. you weren’t even comprehending who it was at this point, just enveloped by the comforting scent that once gave you a sense of home.
“you’re okay” she breathes out, cradling your head to her stomach as you cried out, “ale, my knee” you choked out, alexia hushes you, her thumb brushing your cheek as she held you close, waiting for the medics to come arrive.
once they were assessing you, alexia was about to move but you clutched her hand, “no-” you start, “just, stay for a second” you look up at her pleadingly, she nods, her hand giving you a gentle squeeze.
once you got told the dreaded three letters, your tears started again, rolling down your cheeks as you held onto alexia. she welcomed the contact like a second nature, both of you gaining a sense of security you hadn’t had in years.
“breathe” she says softly as you get situated on a stretcher, “you’re okay, i promise” she says while looking right into your eyes.
you feel like you’re 19 again, absolutely head over heels for this girl, some of those old feelings lingering in the pit of your stomach.
you get carried off and barcelona wins the match, alexia comes to find you without a second thought. she takes a deep breath before you she knocks on the door of the physio room, hearing a sniffle and a soft “come in”.
“hey” she swallows, hovering near the door as she saw you with your knee braced and iced. “you can come inside” you chuckle, alexia stiffens but walks in, sitting in a chair next to you as you stare up at the ceiling.
“i have surgery in two days” you blurt out, alexia never takes her eyes off you, watching as some tears still roll down your cheeks. “who’s taking you?” she questions softly, you let out a deep sigh.
“i haven’t gotten that far yet, my knee just popped” you tease, making alexia smile softly. the both of you never thought you’d be this civil after all this time.
“i’ll take you” alexia said simply, your head snaps to where she was, “i can’t ask you to do that” you stumble out,
“you’re not, i’m offering” alexia shrugs, “then i can’t accept your offer” alexia huffs in annoyance, “fine, it’s not an offer, it’s happening” alexia says sternly, you knew there was nothing to argue about.
there was no way you could go all the way to madrid in your condition, staying in barcelona for surgery was just a no brainer at this point.
“are you sure?” you say hesitantly, “positive” she says earnestly, smiling at you gently while you returned an appreciative one.
alexia forced you to stay at her house, getting your stuff from the hotel and setting you up in her guest room. it was a little awkward, not really knowing how to converse with a girl you’ve known for years of your life yet was your borderline enemy for years as well.
though with a little help of your injured knee, alexia and you managed to chip away at that awkwardness.
when you woke up extra sleepy from surgery, alexia gave you a comforting smile as you came to your senses, only leaving the hospital room if it was completely necessary.
“how are you feeling?” alexia said softly as she adjusted the pillow behind your head, fussing with the blankets until you swatted her hand away with a soft laugh.
“i’m fine, calm down” alexia drops the blanket with a sheepish grin and sat down on the chair next to you,
“ale?” you breathe out, she hums as she looked up at you, “thank you” you look over at her, her eyes are a little glossy but you chose to dismiss it.
“you don’t have to thank me, you’d do it for me” she smiles, you nod slowly, it was true, no matter how much you thought you disliked her throughout the years, you would help her in a heartbeat. no matter the time or place.
suddenly you start laughing and alexia gives you a questioning smile, “sorry i just,” you start, turning your head to look at her properly, “i didn’t think this would be happening after all these years” alexia nods along with your words with a little chuckle,
“i’m surprised you haven’t bitten my head off yet” she teases, “never say never, putellas” you warn teasingly, both of you laughing together in a little moment of solitude.
alexia was incredibly patient with you when you got discharged from the hospital, walking beside you with your crutches at your pace while sending you encouraging words and smiles.
“take your time” she says as she hovers next to you, ready to catch you if you fell. she helped you into the car and literally carried you into her apartment despite your protests to save time, wanting you to rest on the couch as soon as possible.
she was grateful about the time off, she doesn’t think she’d be able to train or play without you clouding her mind. she finally felt like she got you back, even if it was just a tiny piece.
she elevated your knee and tucked you in with warm blankets, making you a tea and sitting next to you as she encouraged you to put on something to watch.
her heart warmed when you put an old childhood favourite of both of you. a wave of nostalgia hitting you both. she kept glancing at you every couple of seconds,
you both laughed with each other at the movie, subconsciously quoting some parts of it with each other and recounting old memories. suddenly a wave of sadness hits alexia because she realised how much she’d lost.
when you realised she stopped laughing along with you, you glance at her nervously and give her a worried expression.
“are you okay?” you say softly, alexia shakes her head, tears pricking at her eyes seeing your soft features, you gesture to her to come closer and she sits on the couch facing you, the tears rolling down her face as she sniffled.
“ale, what’s wrong?” you place a hand on her thigh and she flinches, you pull it away slightly but she holds onto it instead.
“i’m so sorry” she chokes out, looking at you tearfully, you can feel your heart break a little at how she was crying, your eyebrows furrow in concern,
“what-” you start before she interrupts, “no, please let me speak” she sniffs, gripping into your hand tightly,
“i’m so stupid, there aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry i am for letting you go the way i did, you didn’t deserve that” she begins,
“i was clueless for listening to my ex, you were there for me through everything and i put you aside like you were nothing” she blubbered, each word clutching your heart.
your own tears begin to escape your tear ducts, “but you’re not nothing, you’re everything, you were my everything and i let you go when i wanted you, i’ve wanted you forever” she pronounced, looking right at you to make sure you heard everything she said.
“i love you, i always have” she expressed, your mouth hung open a little at the three words. silence settled over the two of you, hands still tightly interlaced.
“i love you too” you admit, alexia’s face lights up, only you shake your head for a moment, “alexia, you need to understand that you really hurt me, and i know i fucked up too, we both did” you start,
“if we were to give this another try, it needs to be slowly” you fiddle with the blanket on top of you, the two of you are still crying, still not believing this situation was real.
she agrees without hesitation, “i’ll do anything you want me to, hermosa (beautiful)” she breathes out.
her free hand moves to wipe a stray tear off your cheek, making you give her a wet laugh before you pulled her into an awkward positioned hug but you both didn’t mind, you’d both finally woken up to yourselves. you loved each other.
for the next few weeks, you and alexia grew closer and closer, finally falling back into that special relationship you had with each other.
it was going slow for about two days until the both of you broke under pressure and just gave into each other, acting more like a couple than you ever have.
“hi, bebé (baby)” alexia cheeses out when she sees you sitting on the couch, you crane your head back to look at her, giving her an affectionate smile that she was quick to return.
she presses a sweet kiss to your lips, a languid kiss that had you both sighing into each other's mouths.
she pulls away from you with an exaggerated peck to make you laugh, plopping down beside you and directing your head to her shoulder, you cuddle into her with a satisfied smile, her scent calming you down instantly.
it wasn’t a surprise that once you were fully recovered from your acl, you made your return to barcelona. once you made your comeback, you and alexia weren’t hiding anything anymore.
it felt good to claim each other as your partner, an endless amount of support sent your way.
you and alexia were quite literally joint at the hip once you finally moved in together, barely any time wasted when it came to the two of you, alexia claiming you needed to make up for ‘lost time’.
with the amount of devotion alexia gave to you, you forgave her, it took a while but you both wanted to move on from it, a fresh start for the both of you.
some of your teammates in the spanish team still found it hilarious when they found out why the two of you hated each other, still finding it a little baffling to see you so loved up at training.
“ale” you send her a half hearted glare as she sat in her cubby watching you get changed for a national game.
“yes, bebita (baby girl)” she grins at you smugly, you cross your arms over your chest, walking over to her and giving her a challenging expression. she grabs your hips and tugs you forward, making you sit sidewards on one of her thighs.
“not funny, where is it?” she chuckles at your mock anger, pressing tender kisses to the underside of your jaw,
“where is what?” she mumbles against your skin, you squirm slightly when she reaches your pulse point, slapping her hand that was now squeezing your thigh.
“my jersey” you groan, alexia lets out a little laugh, kissing your cheek repeatedly, “it’s right there” she points out, suddenly you stand up, grabbing her hand and making her stand in front of your cubby, looking at her expectantly.
“what does that say?” you point at the jersey hung up, “putellas?” she grins, “smart girl, who’s jersey is that?” you try not to laugh, “yours” she smiles wider, her hand dropping yours to wrap around your waist, making you stand in front of her as she continued to kiss your cheek softly.
“in case you forgot, that’s not my last name” you say amusingly, feeling her smiling against your skin as she gave you a gently squeeze.
“it will be soon” she grins, flipping you around so you could face her, “propose first” you say cheekily, patting her cheek with your hand. she turns her hand to kiss your palm, a silent promise that it was happening soon. (happened a week later)
“you’re no fun,” she pouts mockingly, reaching above you to retrieve the jersey that actually said your name on it, giving you a shit eating grin as she watched you get changed.
“children” mapi and jenni say at the same time, watching as alexia pulled you into another kiss that took all the breath out of your lungs.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill - pretend it’s you! ily jenni x
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alexiaputellas: she thinks she’s the boss
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yourname: i am the boss
↳ alexiaputellas: it’s so cute how you think you are bebita (baby girl)
↳ yourname: i literally am?
↳ jennihermoso: oh she definitely is
↳ marialeonn16: 100% is
↳ alexiaputellas: a bunch of traitors
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liveontelevision · 1 month
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I beg of u pls more slowburn luci... I'm starved... No one writes him as well as you💔 I'll give you my kidneys 💔
THIS ONES FOR YOU BB
Did it Hurt? Lucifer x Reader
enjoy some quick fluff >:)
♡♡♡
Lucifer always had a habit of losing his temper. It wasn't often, usually when a specific document was giving him a hard time or when he would return from any meeting that took place at Heaven's Embassy. Or, with the relocation of his quarters, whenever a certain radio demon would push his buttons just a bit too much. You've seen it enough times to know when to leave him be and when to step in, but you hated to admit how familiar you became with him in this state.
It was a lot of work keeping up with the hotel after its renovation, and Lucifer did everything in his power to keep the hotel running behind the scenes, so Charlie could focus on her new residents. Being his assistant for so many years, even following him to work at the hotel, you were absolutely delighted to see him so passionate to work, obviously motivated by his rekindled relationship with his daughter. But with the whole redemption premise, it meant a lot more contact with Heaven, and that drained his battery more than anything you've seen.
You hated to compare, but it almost reminded you of his depressive episodes after Lillith disappeared. He walked the halls in a daze, putting on the brightest smile only around the other hotel staff, but you knew him too well to be fooled by his lovely grin.
Throw some drinks into the mix? You'd witness a truly gruesome sight.
It was almost evening when Lucifer realized he actually had caught up to his work and had the chance to enjoy his night. His first thought, no matter how much he'd deny it, was to find you. It was always easier to enjoy his rest and relaxation when you were around. Something about you just left that affect on him. It'd drive him crazy if he thought about it too long.
You found yourself in the newly renovated lobby, still decorated with a bar that exentuated both Lucifer's and Alastor's aesethetic. It was one of the few things they had compromised on.
Lucifer insisted you stop work for the night, but you only agreed after thoroughly skimming over his documents to see if there was anything that would keep him up too long. After finally being swayed, you give him a quick pat on his arm and wished him a good night, assuming he would take the oppurtunity to sleep through his newfound free time.
With a satisifed sigh, you slammed your empty cup on the bar's counter, shouting for another. There was a loud roar of cheers coming from everyone around you as Husk refilled your glass. You lost count after the first hour or so, your head beginning to spin before you could consider the consequences. Soft Jazz music was playing from a small radio, hidden from view, and the entire hotel staff was bustling and chatting as if it wasn't nearly midnight on an average night in Hell.
You had heard something particularly ridiculous from Angel that sent you into a laughing fit. Nearly falling from your barstool, you felt a sturdy hand brace the small of your back. Startled by the sensation, you whip your head around a little too quickly, leaving you dizzy and blinking before focusing in on Alastor keeping you upright.
"Careful, my dear! I enjoy the festivities as much as the next depraved sinner, but we can't have the king's secretary hurting themselves now, can we?" His words seemed rude, but he managed to say them with a charm that prevented you from truly questioning it. It didn't stop you from mumbling under your breath, "i'm not his secretary.. asshole deer demon - " You managed to say it quiet enough that he didn't react, but you did catch his ear twitching and turning torwards you for a second. You quickly resumed some random conversation with Charlie or Vaggie, you couldn't remember its contents if you were asked about it today, but it was better than dealing with the repercussions of insulting the radio demon.
It went back to being chummy and pleasant for a moment before you saw Charlie peering past your shoulder, an excited gasp escaping her lips.
"Dad! Come drink with us!" Charlie leaned back from her barstool, Vaggie bracing her drunken sweetheart from falling flat on her face. You quickly turn, dizzying yourself again, before seeing Lucifer making a hasty decent down the stairs. His hair was freshly quaffed, and he wore a clean white dress shirt, that smelled of a sweet cologne when he walked past you. He had that twinkle in his eyes that would appear whenever he was in Charlie's presence. You loved seeing his eyes that way. They'd shine no matter how heavy the bags under them were.
"Of course, kiddo! Your old man's got the night off if you'd believe it! Pour me a.. uh... something strong!" He puffed his chest out proudly, happy to spend some much needed time around demons in a casual setting. He propped himself against the counter between you and Charlie. When you finally caught up to his words, your eyes widened slightly, giving him a gentle tap on his shoulder. Lucifer turned to look at you, and you caught him speechless for a moment. Your cheeks were red and hot, your eyes dazed and a bit watery from laughing too hard, but still reading concerned for some reason. He's seen you in loungewear before, but you were barely put together in this state. Your hair was sprawled across your shoulders, a few strands blocking your eyes. You wore sweatpants that loosely hung from your waist, revealing your middrift that was visible from underneath your cropped t-shirt that bagged off your shoulders. After snapping back to reality, Lucifer let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.
"Yes, yes, dear, here I am. Hope you've been having fun - but not too much! Fun.. Aha... what-what is it, what do you need..?" He stumbled over his words, attempting to be charming but failing miserably. A staticky chuckle responded to his words before you could get out what you wanted to say. "Poetry, your highness. True poetry~" Lucifer hated to look away from you but did so anyway to send a red eyed glare to Alastor, who sat across the bar. He scoffed before scooping his freshly poured drink into his clawed hand and taking a quick swig, slamming it back down. He coughed for a moment, hitting his chest with a balled up fist before sending Husk a teary-eyed thumbs up. "Smooth.. Another..!" He squeaked out. You resorted to taking a soft grip on his forearm after he got too distracted to hear you out before.
"Sir, be careful! We both know you can't hold your liquor.. just - be careful." You spoke in a hushed tone, far closer to his ear than you intended to be, but personal space became foggy in your drunken state. He shivered, feeling your breath against the side of his face, then quickly turned his head up to hide the red creeping across his cheeks. Clearing his throat and picking up his refilled glass, he let out a pompous laugh.
"Thanks for worrying about me, but i'm fine! I'm the king of Hell! I can handle my.. whiskey?" He turned to Husk with a confused look on his face, only to get a confirmation on his drink. He sent a charasmatic smirk in your direction after getting a thumbs up from the bartender. You couldn't help but giggle, covering your mouth to not embarrass him or yourself. He always eased your nerves like this.
What a dork.
You smiled to yourself for a moment before feeling a hand brush the hair that laid across your eyeline out of the way and tucking it away behind your ear. You looked up, fluttering your eyelashes as your eyes focused in on the figure. You turned red seeing Alastor brushing his claws across your hair to keep it away from your face. Without proper judgement, you cringed at the suddenly intimate interaction and jolted away from his clawed hands.
"Now, now, I'm only trying to help! You look an absolute mess, darling." You shrunk at Alastor's words. He still spoke charmingly, but it was clear he had a few drinks as well. You let out a nervous chuckle, running your hands through your own hair and crossing your arms over your exposed middrift.
Lucifer's seen you stick up for yourself before. You were as passionate as he was in that sense. So seeing you almost curled up into a ball at Alastor's words, that were spoken closer to your face than he'd ever want to see, made him growl. "Keep your distant, buddy, maybe you should call it night. If you know what's good for you, that is." Lucifer's confidence only grew with the alcohol finally hitting him. He laid his arm across your shoulder, slightly leaning you away from the demon that towered over the two of you. Alastor found a weakspot and knew exactly what to do with it.
The chatting went on for another hour or two. After Lucifer was calmed down by Charlie and yourself, you all managed to have a decent time until demons started heading back to their rooms one by one. Lucifer was going on a rant about some bullshit documents that Heaven sent and how he'll have to set an appointment to go to the embassy soon, while you propped your head on your hand and only half listened. It wasn't because you were disinterested, you were just coming off your high. You still weren't sober enough to warn Lucifer that he probably had one drink too many, but that was a problem for later.
"Why not send your little servant to deal with Heaven, hmm? I've seem them dealing with plenty of your problems, i'm sure another burden won't hurt, wouldn't you agree?" A wave of radio static washed over your body as you felt large hands fully encase your shoulders. Alastor's claws were cold against your skin, your shoulders exposed by the drooping of the oversized shirt you wore. When he was drunk, his little quips seemed much more personal.
You let out a sarcastic laugh, carefully pulling your torso away from his grip." Ha ha ha. I'm fine, Alastor. I can handle myself, even against Heaven. If i have to, I could totally deal with an angel!" You bragged, maybe the confidence of alcohol made you respond, maybe something else.
"How about you? Think you can handle an angel, Al?" Lucifer added to your words, his arms across his chest. Alastor's eye twitched, his clawed fingers digging into his dress shirt where he was nearly killed this past extermination. The static in the air crackled louder for a moment, before Alastor spun you around to face him. His hands were planted firmly on either side of the chair, caging you in uncomfortably.
"Oh rest assured, sweetheart, I'm fully capable. If you ever need.. protection.. on one of your little errands, do let me know, hm? Maybe you'll need a gentleman to accompany - " He slowly moved in closer to you, until your could barely hold yourself up, your breath hitching as you lost the strength to handle his exessive teasing. Lucifer ripped on of Alastor's hands away, before pulling you from your seat and holding onto your arms to brace you from the quick movement.
"Back the fuck off, bitch." Lucifer's eyes were glowing a familiar red, his teeth snarling at Alastor, who was standing with a playful glint in his eyes.
"Oh dear, did I make a mistake? Is someone a bit protective? Best not lose this one, your higness!"
Damn, that's cruel, you thought, wincing at his words.
You hadn't even confessed any feelings, not that they were clear to you. You considered being in some sort of romantic relationship with Lucifer as your still not entirely sober mind wandered from the frightening moment.
Before you could realize, you were tossed to the side, stumbling onto the carpetted floor with a light thud. Your vision returned to see a fully demonized Lucifer, gripping Alastor's collar as he yelled out some profanities, puffs of flames leaving his mouth as he spoke. You were completely shocked to see how Alastor stood there with a grin on his face. Like he was enjoying it. You quickly stood to your feet, the adrenaline coursing through your veins being more than enojgh to sober you up.
"Sir! Stop!" You reached out and grabbed Lucifer's sleeve, only to be nudged off a bit forcefully. He definitely wasn't using his full strength to keep you away. This was one of the moments you would step out, Lucifer was always impossible to calm down in this state and the alcohol surely made it worse. He lifted his flame engulfed fist, ready to drive it directly into Alastor's shit eating grin.
"Lucifer!" You finally shouted. He paused, slowly releasing Alastor's shirt and stepping away. He scoffed and didn't even snap his fingers, yet a portal appeared behind him. You could see from the outside that it led to his office.
"You're not worth the trouble anyway, fucker." A final puff of fire left his lips as he stepped through his portal that instantly vanished. It left you alone with Alastor in the lobby, the collar of his shirt and a few of his hairs lightly cinched.
"What the fuck is your problem?? Stay away from me! And him? Leave him alone! Damnit, he doesn't deserve this..!" You huffed, making your way up the stairs. Alastor stood alone, his stature still unphased. His eyes shook and he finally let out a shakey breath once you were out of view.
●○●○●
You recognized where to find him and quickly made your way up to his tower. Sure, it stung that he would just leave you after causing such a scene, but that still didn't stop you from worrying about him.
You opened the office door slowly, peaking in to see an empty office. You stepped in and scanned the area, no sign of the king of Hell. You noticed a soft flicker of light coming from the window and went towards that direction. The large windows of the office opened up, one in particular leading to a small balcony that displayed the Pride Ring as a bustling landscape of city lights.
You let out a soft breath, taking in the view before finally seeing Lucifer sitting on the railing, his hands holding him up. The flickering that led you towards him was the flame that sat at the crown of his head, his demon form still intact. You knew it took him awhile to calm down, but you rarely got the chance to see his powerful features this close. His tail was hung over the railing, swaying like how a cats' would. His wings were fully sprawled out, only moving with his breath and his horns, a vivid red at the tips, tore through his scalp, breaking up the purity of his white flesh. The flame that sat between them was much smaller than before and his eyes were still red, but you could see his yellow irises looking down at the city. His shirt had torn from the back, you assumed with how fast the situation at the bar escalated he didnt properly consider the physical damage he'd cause. In this vision of raw power, just the sight of the back of his neck and shoulder blades peaking from his torn shirt was what made your blush.
He turned his eyes towards you, then looked back to the city, adjusting his wings so you could have some space to stand near him. At least he was welcoming you in. You carefully stepped over the ledge, bracing yourself on the railing as you got a full view of the city. The wind left a much needed cool touch to your face, making you let out a soft sigh. You propped yourself up on your elbows, bending at the hips slightly.
"You know, considering how terrible the people are down there, the city really is beautiful. From a distance." You spoke softly, testing the waters; seeing if he simply needed a distraction from the outburst." Actually, it looks pretty similar to a city on Earth. Not as busy and a lot less bloodshed, but still similar. I've never been, but this is pretty close to the pictures i've seen." You described. Sometimes the mention of Earth was good for him to hear too, so you gave that a shot as well.
"They used to be white. Sometimes in the sunlight, you could even see some gold flecks in there." He finally spoke, his voice hoarse. He stretched out his wings slightly, motioning that those were what he was referring to. You twisted around to fully face his wing that had outstretched in your direction. "They were really beautiful."
"I'n sure they were, sir. Do you like flying? I saw you doing it when you were fighting Adam, you seemed really fast." You spoke softly, deciding not to argue the fact that they were still beautiful in this state. He didn't need to debate right now. "May I?" You let your hand hover just above his feathers, the wind occasionally blowing them into your touch. He nodded, even if he was exhuasted, he still seemed anxious at the idea. You carefully trailed your fingers in the direction of the feathers, now a blood red. They were still unbelievably soft and they essentailly leaned into your touch, as you traced the spine of each feather mindlessly.
Clearing his throat and letting himself calm down from the touch, he did his best to respond." I-I used to. In Eden, I would.. mm... I had to patrol and catalog Adam and - well... any progress or changes.." he stammered out his words, occasionally stopping to let out a quiet hum." I just don't see the point anymore. Plus, it's probably not the safest bet." He let his head fall back for a moment, his wings slowly but surely pulling you towards him.
"What about your tail? And.. your horns? Those only appeared after you.. erm... after you arrived in Hell, right?" You moved on to the lower wing that was closest to you. There were some loose feathers that were sticking in all sorts of direction, so you carefully wiggled those out and continued to comb through the large span of feathers, running your nails along the very top with slight pressure. "Hng.. right, yeah. Those are newer." Was the only response he managed to get out.
"The horns.. did it hurt?" You were almost scared to ask, the idea of horns sprouting through your head and breaking your skin on multiple occasions made you shiver.
You continued to groom his wings as he responded. "T-The first time, yeah. But now, not so much. Or maybe i'm just.. I'm just used to it.. Mmh!" He winced mid sentence, his wings curling in with a jolt. You felt his tail rope itself around your wrist and hold it in place. "Oookay! That was n-nice.. thank you, but- yeahh.. Ahha.. that's enough of that." He chuckled nervously, and you looked over at him after not doing so for awhile. His face was flushed red and his chest was heaving. You couldnt tell if he was hurting or.. "Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to.. Sorry..." you weren't exactly sure what you were apolgizing for, but considering the possiblities made you turn red.
"Nono, it's fine. It was nice, I promise." He managed to compose himself, but left his tail around your arm loosly. "But, uh, yeah! Yup! Horns are new, Tails' new. The fire's definitely an interesting choice, can't get rid of that even if i tried. And trust me, I tried." He went on, leaning back on the railing and letting his wings tuck in, but still left them in view. You let your head fall to your shoulder, cocking your eyebrow. "Get rid of it? Why? Doesn't it go away on its own?"
"After awhile yeah. But here I am, in a situation where I definitely don't need to use any of this shit - I-I don't know what it's for other than intimidation, but I still can't get it to go away on command. After all this time.. The vodka probably doesn't help either." He huffed, clearly frustrated at his physical appearance. You had taken to fiddling with the tip of his tail as he spoke. You did it much more softly, and it didn't seem as sensitive, so he didn't comment on it. But he still had a red hue across his cheeks and his tail twitched every now and then at certain touches.
You let out a quiet giggle, "It was Whiskey, but yeah i'm sure that didn't help either." You clarified in a teasing sense, then fell comfortably into a silence for a moment. You could just barely hear cars honking, gunshots and music when neither of you spoke.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, it definitely does the job. You left Alastor shaking in his boots back there." You said with a smile, turning your head to meet his eyes. They were still mostly red, but you could see them softening just at the sight of you.
"Good! He deserves it. Sweetheart, if that prick ever does anything - "
"Don't worry, he won't. You know he only picks on me to get under your skin." You walked your fingers up his arm before seeing his fist clench at the sensation.
"I-I suppose.. I- Uhm... What are you doing..?" He started to sound nervous, but didnt pull away from you. You stopped what you were doing, realizing one hand was sitting on his thigh and the other was making its way up his arm. You yelped and pulled your hands back, placing them on your cheeks just to gauge the heat immiting from your skin.
"I-I don't know! Sorry! M-maybe i'm still drunk..! Yeah, that has to be it.." you stammered, a blushing mess. The sound of his soft chuckle was quick to ease your nerves." Maybe.. it's curiousity... Do you- not to sound weird, say no if i'm wrong - but.. you can- ahh.. touch my horns, too.. if you want - " He wasn't trying to be crude, you could tell he really just wanted to calm you down. Or maybe he just wanted to be touched. You nod your head slowly, keeping your eyes locked on his.
He shifts his positioning to face you, and leans his head down a bit. Taking each of your hands into his own, which were a bit shaky , he pulls them up to meet his intimidatingly tall horns. You basically shut your eyes in anticipation, only opening them back up when you get a good feel. They were smooth, like the surface of a violin, but they felt heavy. You wondered if they felt heavy to him. You carefully menuvered your hands around the fire that was nearly the size of a matches flame at this point, sliding up to the tips. They were ridiculously sharp. It made you more anxious than anything else, they couldve pricked your finger if you werent being careful enough.
"Remind me to remind you how sharp these are. You'll poke someones eye out if you're not careful. Unless that's what you're aiming for, then go for it." You tried speaking to him as you did this to break the intimate silence of the moment.
He let out a nervous laugh. From his view, he could see most of your stomach, more visible than before due to your reach. You actually felt a particularly heavy breath reach your middrift, making you tense up for a moment. Still, lucifer was careful to keep still after the comment on his sharp horns.
You made your way down to where they met his temples, hesitating for a moment before feeling the skin that was stretched over the bone-like features. It felt like scarred flesh. Your felt your heart drop in your chest at the sensation. When he said it hurt the first time.. the horns must've physically ripped through his skin. Without thinking, your hands trailed down to cup his cheeks, making him lift up his head with a questionable expression." So? Did you get your fill?" He asked, a stupid smirk dancing across his face. You scoffed, taking the moment to look into his red eyes. They almost hid the tiredness of his usual colors.
You noticed his eyelids begin to droop and before you knew it, your lips had brushed together in a tender kiss. You pulled him in closer, your hands still planted on his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up to sit on the railings beside him, never breaking contact during the process. He was careful with you, even as you parted your lips to invite a heavier kiss, he held his shut. You pulled away for a moment, moving your hand to his lower lip and just lightly brushing your thumb across it. His breath became heavy at the delicate touch, his grip around your waist falling onto your hips. You left your thumb on his lip and took the opportunity to slide your tongue slowly into his mouth. He yelped, his eyes suddenly shot open at the boldness of your actions. His suddenly limp hands, almost clawing at your hips. His forked tongue eventually made his way into your mouth, still with caution. You felt the fork in his tongue and smiled into his lips, enjoying this new discovery a little too much. He melted into your touch and followed your movements, barely having the strength to keep his head up on his own. You reveled in the moment, before feeling a sharp prick on the tip of your tongue. You pulled away, giving you both a much needed break to breathe.
You run your tongue across the top of your mouth, the smallest taste of blood hitting you."Oh! Fangs!" You quickly exclaimed, the realization hitting you before you could form a real sentence. He stared at you almost dumbfounded, not sure how to respond.
Once you had both composed yourself enough, you noticed that all of his demonics features had retreated, leaving just his wings sprawled out. He let out a satsified hum as you looked into regularly colored yellow and red eyes. You ran your hair through his hair, that had become messy from the horns, and pulled him into another kiss. Lingering for just a moment, you pulled back and smiled, letting your eyes dart across all he features." You're beautiful, Lucifer~" you hummed, your thumb caressing his cheek. You almost couldn't tell, but he did his best to keep any tears from welling in his eyes.
♡♡♡
I wanna work on my multi-part series after all my exams as a heads to you lovely lil people
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simp4konig · 4 months
Text
“𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞.„
𝕲𝖍𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖝 𝕲𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗-𝖓𝖊𝖚𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖑 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗
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𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 𝟏𝟒,𝟖𝟎𝟕
𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶
𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐙𝐨𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐩𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐩𝐬𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭, “𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭”, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐬.
𝐈𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭. 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝?
...
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*𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖! 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧!!! 🔥
*⚠️ 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭! 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭! 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓!!! ⚠️
*𝐂𝐖s: 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐔𝐧𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 (?). 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞. 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭'𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐌𝐚𝐣𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 “𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡„. 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲/𝐧.**
**Let me know if there's anything major that I've missed! ☺️
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“𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭„ ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @rustic-guitar-notes ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @best-soup ☆ @lotionlamp ♡ @trepaika ☆ @luci4theminorannoyance ♡ @nightlyvoids ♡ @skeletalgoats ♡ @aethelwyneleigh27 ☆ @arrozyfrijoles23
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Simon "Ghost" Riley always had been a puzzle you couldn't solve. Always had been, and always was.
Stoic and stone-cold, it seemed, who did not respond with any warmth whatsoever, as a fire was put out in his adolescence, never to be rekindled again.
All that remained of his softness quickly became a hardened shell, ashes and dust from the extinguished flame left behind, not a spark to be reignited ever again.
The mask he wore became who he was, and he became the "Ghost" persona. Simon Riley was no more, and he hadn't been for years; he was Ghost, ghosts of his past forever haunting him, until he himself became a ghost of who he used to be.
So, Ghost was a distant man; which, was also always a contradiction — physically in close proximity to you on the few missions you had been paired with him, shoulder to shoulder with the both of you looking into the scopes of your sniper rifles, yet practically on another continent in terms of relations and closeness.
You were a rookie, and it seemed to you that Ghost viewed you in disdain for that.
With each attempt you made to become closer, he'd retreat back further into his shell. You'd think you'd be able to thaw his icy exterior, at least by mere degrees, yet his melting point grew higher with each interaction, the distance between you growing despite you trying to close it. Him recoiling at each attempt you made to come closer, as if your warmth burned him.
Every attempt at casual conversation was shot down. Stepping a couple of steps away from you, not looking at you at all, he would physically make the distance between you two further apart.
"Keep it tactical," he'd mutter. "If it's not about anything of importance, don't bother wasting my time. You got that?"
"Was only asking how your day was, you know," you grumbled, arms crossed defensively as you looked off to the side, hurt. "What's not tactical about that?"
"I hate small talk. Nothing tactical about it."
With that, he'd storm off unceremoniously, not sparing you even a single glance.
You'd jog after him, the treatment he was giving you making you feel like an unwanted dog. "Sir, hold on—!"
Ghost halted, and you would have crashed into the human wall had you not slipped in the combat boots a size too big for you.
"Not 'sir'." Dark brown eyes narrowed into yours.
"It's Lieutenant to you, rookie. Get that through your thick skull." Turning away from you with his arms crossed firmly across his chest.
"On second thoughts, you could be of use for somethin'."
Side-eyeing you, his words dripped with sarcasm. "That thick skull of yours could be a sniper's worst nightmare."
"Look, si— I-I mean, Lieutenant— I was just wondering—"
"Look, don't waste my time, yeah? Not here to bloody babysit a blooming toddler that can't keep itself busy."
Work with him was kept strictly professional before the outbreak — well, more so "stand-offish" as opposed to professional.
There was no point becoming acquainted. You two were vague associates, had occasionally been deployed together, and Ghost rarely associated with you when if wasn't on a mission, always acting aloof.
"Gotta stay focused, soldier. Especially in these circumstances."
"I'm not a soldier, you know," you remarked, daring to roll your eyes as he had his back turned. "I don't have the training that you have had, or the experience. I'm just a rookie."
"All the more reason for you to stay focused," he repeated matter-of-factly. "So, get a grip, soldier, because that's what you are now. If you don't have what it takes to survive, might as well lay down on the ground and wait to die."
And those working dynamics hadn't changed whatsoever after the outbreak.
The outbreak of a virus.
Almost the whole human population was wiped out by a world-wide epidemic, a plague that could not be cured.
The virus gave those infected the ravishing urge to purge anything living, a diseased mind wanting to spread its disease.
Like a parasite, it sucked out all of your life essence, your conscience fading as your body deteriorated, until had degenerated beyond repair.
Rabid like a stray dog, you would no longer be human. True, you were still you, yet you weren't you, only a monster in human form.
A corpse, violent and violently out of control, driven by animalistic instincts; instincts to kill, and to ravage fresh, human flesh like a savage, ripping apart meat off bone with sharpened canines.
Out of 8 billion people, 2 billion had been killed by the military's efforts to reduce the spread of the disease, while 5 billion roamed infected.
Out of the billion that survived, millions were driven to suicide, and those that remained fought and killed each other like primitives for basic necessities such as food, water, and territory. It was survival of the fittest, though few were fit mentally and many had gone mad. It would make one wonder whether there were any sane people left.
Of course, you and Ghost found out the hard way, when you two were deployed on a mission.
A mission quite unlike the few you had been deployed on before, as you two were retracing the steps of the police, trying to gather information on their whereabouts.
Shortly after police cars had arrived on scene of an emergency, communications with them were lost almost immediately.
And what's worse, was that Shepherd's forces had been supposedly involved in the incident.
You two had been dispatched by helicopter almost immediately, and upon landing, you realised that this would be the perfect opportunity to prove yourself to Ghost.
The place was strange.
Wide streets, dotted with brick buildings. Ominously flickering street lamps. The gentle drip-drip-drip of rain, collecting in shallow puddles.
Something about the streets being so deserted, no lights lit in apartment windows and nothing stirring in the alleyways, put you on edge.
Ghost, on the other hand, was completely calm, laser-focused.
A voice came through his earpiece. One of a female. "Ghost, what's your status?"
"Approximately 500m away from the target area," Ghost said robotically, scanning the surroundings like a machine. "No contact at all, and nothing out of place."
The voice hummed with satisfaction. "Good. Make sure you've got each other's backs. You never know what lurks in the unknown."
"Roger that."
"What lurks?" You asked, turning to Ghost in slight fright. "What does she mean by that?"
"Well," he shrugged. "An ambush, for one. Could be anyone hiding out in these streets. May not be as deserted as they seem."
A shrug. "But then again, you'd know that if y'had some common sense."
You two walked soundlessly ahead, footsteps in sync.
Rain dripped onto your gun, collecting into small droplets of water.
Once, you stepped into a puddle, and as your boot made ripples in the water, you swore you saw something. Something distorted in the water's reflection.
A wrinkled face, with glowing orange eyes, with sunken eye sockets and sullen cheeks, baring it's yellow teeth at you.
About to lunge at you from behind.
Whipping your head around in fright, you saw nothing there, and Ghost shot you a questioning look, a brow raised.
"What's gotten you jumping like that?"
"It's nothing. I just—" You shook your head, shaking off the fright. "—I just thought I saw someone. But there was no one there."
A dry, monosyllabic chuckle from Ghost. "Seeing ghosts, are we? Come on. Get your bloody head in the game, and focus."
You two walked ahead, yet you still couldn't shake off the sixth-sense telling you that something was wrong.
The figure you briefly caught a glimpse of made you paranoid, and you'd look over your shoulder every so often to see if something, that something, was behind you.
Nothing was, yet that didn't make the goosebumps go away, or your pulse to slow down.
Eyes closed, you breathed in and sighed. Almost immediately, you gagged in disgust.
"Eurgh! Lieutenant, do you smell that?"
Ghost quirked a brow again. "What?"
You sniffed again, and retched, tasting vomit in your mouth. "That."
The putrid odour of rotten flesh.
"You're right, I smell it," he wheezed, and fixed his balaclava. "Bloody disgusting. Smells like—"
"A dead body," you whispered.
"Dead bodies," Ghost corrected. "That isn't just one corpse. No corpse smells like that. There's gotta be a heap of these, all rotting away."
A chill went down your spine. "So you're telling me that all of the policemen just... died? On the spot? And they've just been rotting here, despite it bringless than a few hours?"
Ghost shrugged offhandedly. "Sure seems that way, don' it? Though, I admit, I'm jus' as lost as you are on this one."
Sighing deeply, and beckoned you with his head. "Come on. Let's keep going."
Looking back down, you immediately you noticed it.
A thick, magenta mist swirling from the ground and rising into the air, swiftly shifting into shapeless shapes.
It slithered like a snake up your leg, neither a fog nor a gas, but instead behaving like a liquid.
You were mesmerised, and couldn't help but take in in, if not but for a moment.
Out of nowhere, a snarling creature was sprinting straight at you, with those same glowing orange eyes.
Baring its sharp teeth at you, it had a crazed look in its eyes, pupils dilated and its sceleras blood red.
Sprinting straight at you, you realised.
Before it could register to you what was happening, what that thing was, and what to do, a single bullet went through the creature's head, straight through between its eyes.
"Godamnit, soldier!" Ghost yelled. "For Chris' sake, you should have been paying attention. You have a gun, so bloody use it, will you?"
Shook by what you saw, you had to protest: "Yes, but Lieutenant, did—"
"No 'but's," he snapped. "Eyes on the back of your head at all times, don't I tell you enough already?"
Still shaken, you tried again to physically shake off your nerves, in vain, and steadied the rifle in your hands.
"N-no. You're right, Lieutenant. You tell me enough already."
Looking down at the swishing mist, you still couldn't shake off the goosebumps on your arms.
Walking slightly behind Ghost, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, armed and ready.
He held a hand out to tell you to be quiet, and stepped aside.
Your eyes widenened.
Police cars toppled over, some completely destroyed by a rocket launcher, in a circle clumped on one side.
Shrapnel and sharp glass lay scattered on the ground, while guns were carelessly left behind.
Further along, army vans and trucks were parked, abandone. Doors left ajar and windows half-closed, as if the people there had struggled to escape, and left at the last second.
There were thick, black tyre marks from the wheels of one of these trucks leading north, that had skidded rapidly away. Away from something.
Sound of glass cracking under your foot brought your gaze to the ground. Lifting your boot, you saw what looks to be a vial. The contents were empty.
"Bloody hell..." Ghost shook his head, and, calm and composed, put two fingers to his ear piece. "There's been a shootout here, but no bodies. Any updates?"
No response.
Ghost's fingers moved to his earpiece again. "Ma'am, I repeat, there has been a shootout here, but there are no bodies. Do you copy?"
Nothing.
A cold chill tickled your spine, only this time, your body temperature dropped by degrees.
"Lieutenant, something's not right."
"More like everything is not right. Haven't you noticed?"
You gaped at him stupidly. "Wh-what?"
"That there's no bodies. Look around."
Ghost was right — not a single corpse was on ground.
It was as if everyone here had ceased fire and fled, dispersing into all directions, not caring at all whether they had been shooting at each other moments before.
There was sudden rumbling from the distance, and under your feet.
For a second, you thought it was an earthquake at the way the ground shook so forcefully.
You two looked into each other's eyes, Ghost's dark brown ones wide with alertness, while yours were wide in fear.
Soon, it dawned on you that it was not an earthquake. It was the stomping of feet, running in unison. A stampede.
"What the—?"
A cacophony of high-pitched screeching echoed from the othet side of the street.
Finally, you saw them on the horizon.
Dozens, at least fifty or more, were running right at you both.
Some, were limping, their broken leg trailing behind them like dead weight, yet still were driven by the fire in their eyes.
Most, however, were sprinting straight to you with inhuman speed, sprinting faster than any Olympic athlete could have done.
Horrified, you stared, having never seen such a sight in your whole life. If it had not been for Ghost shaking you violently, you'd have stood there, like a deer in headlights, yapping jaws of imminent death just a few yards away.
"Bloody hell, soldier! Snap out of it!"
Rescued from your trance, you had no idea what to do. You hadn't enough magazines to kill so many. There was nowhere to hide, you thought.
"Back to the chopper, now!"
Ghost pulled your arm, yanking you beside him, and you two bolted from where you came, you dropping your rifle in your haste to get away.
Adrenaline coursed through your veins, energising you in a way you had never been before.
Your sudden stamina shocked you, but you had nothing else on your mind, your mind screaming at you to run! Run! RUN!
Your feet were moving so fast that they were a blur. When you dared to look back, you nearly tripped over your own feet. The was horde less than fifty metres away.
Ghost had broken off into a full sprint at the sight of the helicopter, still on the ground, and you had been filled with hope.
Then you saw from the distance that the pilot that had piloted you here was slumped in the front seat. Two zombies had gotten to him and had ravaged him mercilessly, his jugular gushing blood, his collarbone protruding as they tore through skin and muscle.
Without thinking, Ghost pulled them off the corpse, and shot each in the head.
He spared a second's worth of mourning for the man, before pulling him out from the front seat and setting his body at the back compartment.
When you caught up to him, the horde was nearly nipping at your heels. "Fuck, Lieutenant! What are we gonna do?!"
Without warning, Ghost shoved you inside, manic. "For fuck's sake, get inside already!""
Your eyes widened in fear. "Do you even know how to pilot this thing?!"
Ghost slammed the helicopter doors, while you had a death grip on. "'Course I know how to pilot this bloody thing! I was part of the Special Air Service. I know what I'm doing."
Fiddling a little with the controls, and furiously mashing a few buttons, you miraculously got into the air.
The flight had heavy turblence. Ghost nearly crashed the thing into a tall building, yet managed to swerve in time.
And with that, you two were off. Panting, gasping for breath, gasping at the horrific scene that replayed like a movie reel.
Yet, it was awfully quiet, a contrast to the loud thoughts inside your head.
Just the whirring of the helicopter blades and the purring of the engine.
Finally, after what felt like ages, the tornado of thoughts and the narrow escape from storming, snarling creatures all headed for you as fast as whirlwind, metres away from throwing themselves and taking you to the ground, tearing you apart, you calmed. Calmed yourself enough to the point where you were no longer in a hysteria.
"S... Sir?"
He grunted in acknowledgment, not bothering to correct you this time, eyes staring fixedly ahead of him and piloting the helicopter in silent concentration.
"S-so—" Stuttering, because you were shuddering at the premise of what had just happened, shivering from a continuous cold chill and persistent goosebumps.
"—So, uhm, wh-what— what do you think happened back there?"
For a few agonisingly long moments, Ghost was agonising quiet, clearly contemplating what was at hand. The quiet was deafening.
"Listen. If I'd had to hazard a guess—" Ghost began, still staring ahead of him solemnly. "—I'd say those were zombies."
When he turned around to spare you a glance, your dumbstruck expression seemed to frustrate him.
"Fuck, what's with that expression, soldier? If that mouth of yours is open for any longer you'll bloody catch flies."
"Z— zombies?"
Although recovering slightly, enough now to speak steadily, you were dumbfounded.
"Y-you can't be serious. You've gotta be taking the piss!"
His eyes narrowed, and he glared in warning. "Think I've lost my head? Christ, you haven't ever watched a zombie apocalypse movie, or summat? The resemblance was uncanny. Those were not humans."
Tilting your head in confusion and curiosity. "You watch... Zombie movies?"
"Oh for crying out loud—" He pinched his temple in frustration. "—I'm telling you that we're in some serious shit, that there might even be an ongoing apocalypse, and you're more moved by what I apparently watch in my free time? Bloody hell—"
After a thoughtful pause, you turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly serious.
"It doesn't make sense, though."
"Sure it does," he growled. "Life doesn't imitate art. Art imitates life. There had to have been inspiration somewhere."
"You're still going on about those zombie movies?" You groaned, tempted to face-palm yet to scared to be so blatantly disrespectful. "No. I mean, why? Why have people become zombies?"
He let out an unamused chuckle. "God, could you be more dense, you?"
"What was the reason we went on this so-called operation? Think. Think this one time, as I can you don't do it often enough."
Rolling your eyes, you immediately froze in the spot, eyes wide.
It hit you, that there could, could, be a connection. If Shepherd's men really were involved in the shootout, then...
"Look, I didn't tell you," you said, swallowing. "I stepped on what looked to be a test tube. Or a vial, I'm not sure. It had purple stains on it."
"A sample of the virus that went wrong?" Ghost proposed. "I suppose it wasn't meant to be airborne. They used it as a last ditch effort to get the cops off their tails."
"How can you be so sure that is what happened? What if it was just a mistake?"
Ghost turned around, arm slung around the back of the adjacent seat, and his eyes were dark. With a mocking tone: "Oh yes, because genetically engineering a virus that causes people to eat other people was obviously a mistake. And the shootout was just a slip of people's fingers."
You crossed your arms indignantly, annoyed, and Ghost took advantage of your offense by continuing:
"By now, they've definitely made adjustments. Engineered it so they have more control over it."
Despite being annoyed, you audibly gulped, your defiant demeanour dropping instantly. "Y-you sure, Lieutenant? I-I mean— how can you be sure of this?"
Wordlessly, dark brown eyes darkening, Ghost said: "Positive."
Turning around, his shoulders tensed up suddenly. "I'm just prayin' that I'm wrong."
For close to half an hour, you two were flying back where you came from.
From afar, the base, with its several camps and adjourning buildings, temporary tents that had become permanent ones due to the lack of time to put them down, military trucks parked in neat rows, vehicles just as they had stood when you departed, untouched, stood like an imposing monolith, despite being far wider than it was tall.
There was none of the usual commotion, however, the hustle and bustle of people rushing to and fro, the stamping of feet and the grunts of effort from the distance as soldiers took part in drills, of purring car engines and whirring helicopter blades transporting soldiers on a distant mission. It was quiet.
Upon landing, you looked back at the corpse in the back compartment, and swallowed air, throat bobbing strenuously.
"Lieutenant... what are we going to do about... him?"
Ghost, after a few moments of studying you closely, murmured: "Take the body back to his family, of course."
You furrowed your brows. "Didn't you say we may be in an ongoing apocalypse?"
Sighing deeply, Ghost's shoulders sank. "I did. But I've been prayin' that I'm wrong, and jumped to conclusions. Maybe this fella has a family to return to. Doesn't seem right to leave him to rot, does it?"
Right at the entrance, you two exchanged an uneasy look at each other. Neither of you were saying a word.
Tentatively stepping through the threshold, you held your breath.
It was a good thing you did. The stench — the odour of death and decay — made you gag.
You had not imagined anything, refused to imagine what it would be like inside. And, inside, it was worse than you could have possibly imagined:
Bodies were slumped against walls, crumpled up in heaps on the floor. Guts were splayed on the floor. Half-eaten intestines and pools of blood, right where the corpses were.
Many had fear stamped on their faces, with wide, frightened eyes and gaping mouths, and flies had been swarming to the soft tissue of the eyes and tongue until they fleed from your presence.
Some had already been infected, dead yet living, and were feeding off the rotting flesh of the victims with a crazed look in their glowing orange eyes, flashing like a cat's.
Their fingers were gnarled. Had skin peeling off their hands, revealing tendons and bone, nails morphed into claws.
Others had not fought without a struggle, it seemed; guns were held by the dead in a deathly grip, empty cartridges and bullet casings were littered on the floor, and some even had grenades in the palms of their hands, having had not reacted quickly enough to pull the pin and launch them at approaching hordes.
Some of the zombies were laying, lifeless, with a bullet between their eyes, others with wounds in their abdomen and chest. Black blood oozed out like sticky goo.
Ghost stood as still as a statue, taking everything in. Wordlessly, he unholstered his pistol and walked towards the nearest creature.
And shot it right in the head.
A mercy kill, to put whoever the monster had been before its infection out of it miserable suffering, its mortal torment.
He would do the same with the rest. A few of them even looked up at him, dazed, not knowing what was coming for them, and hissing malevolently, before a deafening bang rang out and echoed down the hall.
When Ghost was done, he was panting, out of breath as if he had run a marathon.
Although he did his utmost to keep his breathing steady, each exhale was shaky, feeling like at any moment the air in his lungs would vanish.
"The virus," He said through gritted teeth. "It is here. It's real."
Hands clenched into fists, he was actually trembling. "It is real."
For an agonisingly long time, Ghost had his back to you, yet with the way his shoulders were slumped and his back hunched forward, he was forlorn.
Feeling like it was wrong for you to speak up, yoy hesitated, your voice barely above a whisper:
"Lieutenant? What do we do now?"
Ghost didn't respond. His shoulders rose and fell with each shaky exhale, doing everything he could to stay composed.
"...Sir?"
Cautiously, you tip-toe'd towards him, hesistant to speak up again.
He sensed your presence, and slightly turned his head around so he could see you in his periphery.
Surprisingly, Ghost was incredibly calm in the way that he turned to you. His breathing was steady now, and he no longer let out laboured breaths. It was almost like he was back to his usual self. This trauma would become nothing more than a mere memory, another one to stack on top of the memories that were emotional baggage he carried on his shoulders.
Staring straight into your eyes, his voice was quiet, but he spoke directly. Assertively.
"'s you an' me, now, soldier. We're all we've got."
And that was that. That was all there was to it.
You and Ghost were lone survivors.
No one had survived the ambush, despite having double-checked every cupboard, every barricaded room.
Those inside had gotten bit without realising in their bid to stay alive, to survive, and instead of human survivors, you'd be faced with surviving zombies that you would have to put down. One at a time.
Something told you that maybe, just maybe, Ghost's intuition was right.
That Shepherd had unleashed this disease, right here, as a means of destroying their opposition quickly, to clear their names.
After all, with everyone dead or infected by a virus that made them lose the capacity for human thought, who would be there to oppose them?
The reality that likely, very like, this was true, made your stomach churn.
That a corrupt individual with a mega corporation would corrupt humanity rather than bringing salvation, sickened you.
Had he even known the chaos that would ensure?
Ghost, having hauled canisters of fuel into the closest military truck, slammed the door closed.
With you two inside, in a single motion, he started the engine, and pressed his foot on the pedal, pulling out slowly.
In hesitation, for a minute, his hands shook, knuckles on the steering wheel turning white from how tightly he gripped it.
You didn't say it out loud, but you thought it was ironic: hours earlier, Ghost had been hellbent on making his way back to base, had even saved a comrade's corpse with the promise of restoring his dead body to his family members, yet now, he was creating as much distance between it and the both of you as possible, not turning back even once. Could not turn back, as there was no family for that man to be restored to, and no one, no one, to turn back to.
Weeks passed — or were they months? The days merged into one blur, indistinguishable from each other.
Encountering zombies became day-to-day to you. The ones you encountered could be shot straight through the skull. The parasite fed off the brain, feasted off mortal thoughts, yet with just one pull of the trigger it would die on the spot.
Fighting off a third, fifth, seventh, eleventh, nth small horde, no longer struck the same fear in you. You had quickly adjusted to the circumstances. Your new life.
You two spoke little in the beginning. Quite frankly, there was little to say.
How could one approach this subject? Of imminent doom following this global doomsday? Of having lost colleagues, comrades, in a single instant, and not even having been able to help, to even witness it, because you two were assigned on a mission that had been pointless in the end?
Sure, you knew who was to blame. So what? What was there to do with this information? Vengeance was not the answer anymore, as surviving was the priority. Besides, you didn't even feel vengeful. All you felt was numbness, and the burden of this knowledge that should have been forbidden.
Walking through various locations, all abandoned and lifeless, a wave of déjà vu would crash into you, flooding you with memories of what cities used to be like.
Seeing cars all in one cluster, stuck forever in a traffic jam, metal heavily rusted and weak gusts of wind made it all the more eerie. Especially more eerie, given what the cars had been lined up to do. To escape.
The quiet unnerved you. Filled you with dread. You dreaded the silence, yet flinched at sudden sounds.
Echoes of screams were brought by the wind, whimpering voices begging to be freed, begging the callous soldier in front of them not to shoot them, their children, promising that they weren't infected, they swear! Alas, kneeling, facing a brick wall, they'd be shot. One at a time.
The best thing about walking through these locations was that the two of you never saw the chaos, the catastrophic damage, the devastation, all happening in real-time. That, in a sense, was also the worst thing about this apocalypse.
You two were not associated with the events, and, realising that you'd never experience what millions of other people had collectively experienced in those moments, their final moments, left you disassociating for hours at a time, your feet walking on their own.
Something about seeing the cities stood still, frozen in time, a relic of the past, that fateful day of panic and fear preserved in a time capsule, and unaltered. Untouched. So unlike what they had been not so long ago, made you shudder. To think that it used to be lively, full of life, and so lifeless now, was a surreal feeling.
It made you feel out of place. As if you shouldn't have been there.
You had to be there, though. Supplies would rarely last and food in your surroundings was scare.
Ghost seemed to know exactly what to do. He led you towards the dilapidated pharmacies and the rundown convenience stores, most of what was left of the medication and tinned goods thrown onto the floor, piled in heaps.
What remained of past haphazard searches from other wandering individuals, was scattered. It made you wonder whether those people that took the supplies from where you were were still alive, and if not, how shortly after they had died.
Over time, you two became comfortable in each others's company, as you had become so uncomfortable with the mutual silence, you sought comfort in each other's presence.
And, although Ghost wouldn't have ever admitted it, the truth was, he was in desperate need of comfort, too, regardless of who you two used to be to each other before all of this.
Ghost's icyness thawed, and he came out from his shell, slowly.
Soon, though, his sarcasm wasn't directed at you as much, and you two could actually exchange banter, meaningless puns with the most God-awful punchlines, as a past-time.
Warming your hands over a small fire, you'd quip: "Lieutenant, what do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?"
A huff, his attention fixated on handling his rifle, wiping down the remains of a carcass that had splattered onto it. "I'd rather not know."
You had a shit-eating grin on your face, like a Chesire cat's. "High definition."
Ghost's eyes locked on your face, deadpan. "Fuck, that was terrible. I wish we'd go back to the times when you'd say nothin'."
Back to silence you two returned.
A heavy burden was on your shoulders, weighing the two of you down.
Out nowhere, Ghost spoke up. "Y'know why an oven and an microwave broke up?"
You rose an inquisitive brow, tilting your head in interest. "Why?"
"They argued frequently, and jus' overall weren't on the same wavelength."
You were mildly disappointed. "That... was your idea of joke? Really?"
"Hold your horses, soldier. Y'didn't even hear the actual reason as to why they broke up."
A deep sigh, shoulders sinking in an exaggerated movement, and you rolled your bored eyes playfully. "Ugh, go on, then."
In a deadpan voice: "They broke up, because neither of them could be turned on anymore."
"Oh my God!" You groaned. "That was so gross! I can't believe you said that!"
"What can I say?" A shrug, still deadpan. "I'm just hilarious, and you're not. Clearly, you don't have what it takes to be a comedian like me."
"It was not remotely funny at all! Did not even laugh!"
Ghost leaned in, his voice low. "But you're smilin'."
"Okay, okay, fine. It was a little funny!"
"Damn straight, soldier. 'Course it was."
To you, you two were closer.
Although Ghost was still his brooding self, and put up his gruff front, you knew otherwise.
You were shocked by him when one day he told you to drop the formalities.
"Look, having you address me as Lieutenant now seems redudant. Call me Ghost."
"Lieutenant, I—"
"Come on, soldier. I want to hear you say it."
You swallowed. "Gh-Ghost?"
"Thas' it," he said with a drawl. "You're learning. 'S about time, isn't it?"
Yet the warmth that radiated off him now could not be mistaken for anything else.
You thought you two had formed a bond. You really thought you had.
Bonded over the shared fear, the shared experienced, your shared journey to nowhere.
Which is why you hadn't understood why would Ghost leave you for an hour every couple of days.
For exactly an hour, it seemed. You didn't know, because you didn't have a working watch, but Ghost was punctual, so you assumed that it was true.
Like clockwork, he'd leave at a specific time, and come back an hour later, refusing to explain what he had been doing on his excursion.
"Jus' 'ad somethin' to do," he'd reply briefly, and return to what he had been doing before he left.
"This 'something' — couldn't I have done it with you, Ghost?" You'd eye him, hands on hips, eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. "And what is the need for that bag? You're gonna break your back carrying that thing with you all the time!"
Without fail, he would bring along his backpack, which was in all actuality a heavy dufflebag slung over his shoulders. A bag too big to be carrying for a small errand, you thought.
He'd glare at you, and act defensively, huffing. "I can handle it on my own, don't worry your little head, a'right? I can manage."
"You know," You'd say, tone softening. "I worry about you, okay? It worries me not knowing where you are, and what you're doing."
After a pause, his eyes would slowly crinkle in a smile, and his tone would soften, too. "Yeah, but I know where you are, don't I?" His voice dropped to a low murmur, a gentle hand on your shoulder reassuring you.
You were stunned. Here he was, touching you, when he had always recoiled at the faintest brush of a shoulder. You were blushing.
"Just stay put for me for the one hour of the day, yeah? You don't need to worry about me, soldier. I know what to do."
With him gone, you'd be worried sick. You felt not helpless — you trusted Ghost, and knew that he'd protect you — but useless, sitting there idly, practically twiddling your thumbs, not knowing what he was getting up to.
This went on for God knows how long. Each time, he was oddly secretive, and act as inconspicuous as possible so you wouldn't be suspicious of whatever he was doing.
Each time, he had made it back at exactly the same time, hurried footsteps hurrying back to your temporary hideout and going back to cooking a can of something over a crackling fire.
It was so strange, as it seemed to become routine to him, his movements mechanic, and his depature precise down to the last second. Robotic. Like clockwork he'd make it back.
Unable to take the mystery anymore, you followed him. Not close enough to blow your cover, yet far enough so that you'd always catch him taking a corner before he'd walk out of sight.
It wasn't long after walking through winding alleys that you came across a building — the tallest one in the surrounding area, in fact.
Climbing up the staircase, two flights behind him, you reached the rooftop, and watched from afar as Ghost unpacked his large bag.
It puzzled you seeing him take out technical equipment. Cables, a power pack, a rudimentary router. Alongside other hardware foreign to you, mouth agape at the sight of such prehistoric technology, there was radio.
Before you put two-and-two together, there he was, listening to the same radio with bulky headphones, a cracked red bulb blinking weakly.
Intrigued, you creeped a few steps.
When you were behind him, you leaned forward, arms behind your back. "Ghost, what are you listening to?"
He jumped up, startled, and immediately turned it off. For the first time ever, you saw him flustered.
"Was it music?" you teased. "A heavy metal fan whose blown their cover now? Maybe even a trash pop enjoyer? I mean, If you're into that sort of thing, you don't have to keep it secret, you know."
He coughed, clearly caught off-guard by the sight of you expectedly leaning down to him, but shook his head vehemently.
After pulling himself together, he looked you in the eye. "No."
"Aw, then what was it? Were you listening to radio static? It's my favourite song, you know."
"If you're gonna be such a smartass, then there's clearly no need for me to tell you."
You shook your head, smile vanishing. "Okay, wait! I was just messing. Please tell me?"
"I discovered Price's signal," he grunted as a matter-of-factly, quirking a brow at your gobsmacked face.
"Been communicating with him these past few weeks. Said Soap an' Garrick are with him, an' they're still with him."
"Oh my God!" You clasped a hand over your gaping mouth, gawking at him in shock. "That's amazing!"
"Mhm," he hummed. "They've told me their coordinates, and update every couple of days, when the sun is highest in the sky."
"When's that?" You said eagerly. "Maybe I could speak to them, too! Tell me when!"
Shrugging off-handedly. "Depends on the day." he said simply.
Barely able to contain your excitement, you didn't catch on to his innuendo, and couldn't help but exclaim: "So you could regroup! Right? You could reunite with the Task Force?"
A stone-sized lump got lodged in his throat, and his Adam's apple struggled to swallow it.
Yet, he managed to nod, though with his neck so stiff it looked as if he was shaking his head at the same time.
"Yeah, soldier. Yeah. I could."
You furrowed your brows. "Well, what's stopping you?"
"Well," he replicated, "they're thousands of miles away. That's the whole point of this journey, don't you think? What, you think we've been trekking aimlessly?"
Ghost said no more, and you were glad you didn't have to, either, a lopsided smile sheepishly tugging at the corners of your lips.
He busied himself with dismantling his set-up, putting his equipment away.
"Come on." He heaved himself up, and, with a stiff hand on your back, led you towards the way out. "About time we get out of here, hm? I'll see if I can contact the lot tomorrow."
"Okay," you said, grinning. "I daresay, though, your equipment is kinda out-dated, Ghost. Maybe we could pop in the hardware shop for some upgrades?"
He let out a monosyllabic chuckle, the usual for him. "Sure. We could even upgrade our TV to a 4K flatscreen one. Get with the times, and all that."
One day, though, he hadn't made it back at the same time.
Maybe he got caught up in conversation this time. That was it, surely! Surely that was it?
Leg bouncing in agitation, anticipating his return, you had a sinking feeling that this time, however, this time, something was not right.
You could say that you let your curiosity get the better of you. But you wouldn't have called it that, more like your trepidation clouded your rational judgement.
As, turning a corner, you hadn't even heard the feral snarling of a small horde of zombies over the voice incessantly telling you to find Ghost, and had no clue that you'd be pinned down by a zombie.
It lashed and thrashed at you wildly, bearing it's stained rotten teeth and sallow, black gums.
Harsh spit sprayed your face, and to your horror, the others had surrounded you, growling in hunger.
You had mere seconds to act, you knew that. If you didn't pull out your gun in time, you'd be torn to pieces in mere seconds.
Yet, paralysed with fear, all you could do is stare wide-eyed, you felt helpless. You locked eyes with the creature, its naturally orange eyes glowing brightly, possessed.
Just before the zombie's jaws could clasp around your face, it was shot in the head.
The body crumpled on top of you, knocking the wind momentarily out of you.
Peeking over the corpse, there was uproar among the horde, and they all hissed in unison, heads turning in the direction at the shot, before brain matter and bits of skin were blasted by a heavy calibre rifle.
Ringing disorientated you. Only flashes of someone's legs could be seen in your blurred vision, before you realised that you were lying on the ground, an entire pack of wild zombies around you.
Frantic, you heaved the body off you, and struggled to your feet, full of adrenaline, and locked eyes with Ghost.
Ghost was holding off the horde one-manned, and he grunted with effort as he snapped a zombie's neck while using another as a shield, his rifle shooting at a third rushing from behind you.
"For fuck's sake, don't jus' stand there like a bloody git! Shoot, soldier!"
Snapped out of from your daze, you suddenly realised just where you were, you whipped out your pistol and shot as many zombies as you could from close-range in your haste to get to Ghost.
Slitting the throat of a zombie about to throw itself at Ghost, you used up the remaining bullets in the magazine on another, and gritted your teeth as you changed mags with shaking hands.
Back-to-back to each other, you two were overwhelmed by the horde, but the close proximity to each other meant you had teamwork. Worked as a team.
You fired two bullets at two zombies, bodies crumpling into lifeless heaps, and aimed at a third.
Pulling the trigger, no shot fired. No shot was fired.
Looking down, you fumbled with the pistol, you pulled the trigger frantically, yet the bullet was jammed. Panic-stricken, you were desperate for it to fire, in despair to be in this situation, now, of all times.
Just as you looked up and felt the zombie's cold fingers lock on your shoulders in a death-grip, head about to pounce at your neck, Ghost growled and pushed you to the side like a ragdoll.
You saw nothing as you fell to the ground again, but slashed at more zombies in a frenzy, not many left now.
Killing the final one in your periphery, your head whipped around just in time to see Ghost wrestle the zombie to the ground and stomp its head, snapping the final zombie's neck in two like a twig.
Panting. Chest rising and falling, rising and falling, in painful breaths.
Ghost exhaled deep, deliberate breaths, black blood splattered all on his gear, dark blood staining his skull balaclava, his cargo pant legs, his gloved hands.
For an agonisingly long time, you couldn't catch your breath.
Finally, Ghost turned to you, looking grizzly, nearly sinister, had it not been for the dark brown eyes brightening a little and looking at you intensely.
He trudged to you in three wide steps and took you by your shoulders, shaking you a little.
"Soldier! Are you okay?"
Breath hitching in your throat at the emotion in his usually emotionless eyes, you nodded wordlessly.
You took in your surroundings and the horde you two had massacred; bodies contorted in impossible positions, heads and backs snapped in half, limbs broken so that arms and legs looked double-jointed. Orange eyes had become dull, and were no longer glowing, dim.
Looking at the ground, the zombie, its head grey brain matter and black-red mush, lay lifeless, bleeding black blood.
Wordlessly, you two two nodded, and limped back to your temporary base, completely exhausted.
It was a calm night.
A skinned hare roasting over a crackling fire, cooking the out-of-date contents of your tinned food and eating it with a dull silver spoon, you two sat in an uncomfortable silence, which was deafening. A silence that you dreaded.
Yet, the silence was far more welcome than the high-pitched screams and guttural growls of zombies from before, and you sighed deeply.
A sky so black that it cast a shadow on the trees, your surroundings, plunging you into a darkness had it not been for the lifeline of the lashing flames, There were a few twinkling stars in the sky, blinking in morse code, trying to relate a secret message to you that you missed.
With Ghost basking in the orange glow from the fire, looking so thoughtful as his unfocused brown eyes stared a thousand yards, gloved hands holding a flask with a steaming hot stew, warming his cold fingers, your first thought was that he looked alluring.
The skull-print balaclava pulled up to his nose so he could drink, days' worth of salt and pepper stubble sprinkled on his jaw, the sleeves of his hoodie riding up to reveal scars that caked his skin, most deep, some shallow, some recent while most years' old.
To you, he looked handsome.
Then, mortified by this thought, you shook your head vehemently, the warmth on your cheeks coming not from the fire.
Looking down at the half-eaten tinned slop in your hands, you suddenly lost your appetite, and set it aside.
Ghost noticed, and turned to you, about to ask you, but you held up a hand before he could interrogate you.
"I'm alright, Ghost," you said, convincing yourself more than him. "Not feeling hungry."
"You gotta get somethin' down your system, soldier. We've a long journey to go yet."
"I know. I mean, not to be a picky eater, but eating canned slop is not appealing to my taste buds."
Ghost let out a huff. "What? This cuisine not suited to your sophisticated taste, soldier? My bad, let me bring out the caviar, your highness," he deadpanned.
You roll your eyes. "You're hilarious, you know that? If only there wasn't a booing crowd throwing tomatoes at you. You'd be a top-tier comedian."
The corner of Ghost's lip twitched upwards, before he shot you a one-sided smirk. "Knew you'd come around eventually."
You didn't know why, but the way his jaw moved in the smirk was attractive. Physically shaking this thought off, you shook your head with a smile, unable to contain the silent laughter of your shoulders.
Again, you two returned to a silence. Funnily enough, this one wasn't uncomfortable like the one before, even with the light banter moments ago. This silence was unbearable, like the high-pitched screeching of tinnitus in an empty hall.
You stared at Ghost, almost in anticipation, as if it was he who was the reason for the unspoken change in atmosphere, yet he seemed to ignore you, too taken with looking ahead of him thoughtfully.
Swallowing the dryness in your throat, too awkward to initiate conversation, you looked at the fidgeting hands, picking at the dirt under your nails.
When Ghost unexpectedly called your name from the dark, you nearly jumped out of your skin.
"What's wrong, Ghost?" You asked, worry etched into the lines in your face.
"I need you to do me a favour."
At that, your eyebrows rose to your hairline, then furrowed in surprise and suspicion. Ghost, was not, not, the one to ask for favours.
"...O-okay? What's the favour?""
"Look." He stated simply. "I want you to promise me something. You can do that, can't you, soldier?"
You were becoming even more suspicious. What was the need for him to be enigmatic? Your interest was piqued, however, and you nodded wordlessly, hanging on his every word.
"I want you to promise—" He coughed into his fist, clearing his throat roughly. "—that when I'm ever, ever to turn into one of these..."
"...things—" Shivering, which surprised you, given how much heat was radiated from the fire. "—then... Then I want you to shoot me dead, a'right?"
Your jaw dropped to the ground, so taken aback not even by his request, but his bluntness.
"What— what do you mean, shoot you dead? How could I do that to you? I can't—"
"No." He interrupted, definitive. "It will have to be done at some point."
"Of course, I wish I could... avoid, this situation, but, inevitably, it's inevitable," he grimaced, tugging at his collar in an awkward gesture that was unlike him.
"And you have to do it when the time comes. No hesitation. No second-thoughts. Just pull that trigger, and put one right between my eyes."
Ghost stared at you, eyes stern. "Now promise me."
You stammered. "B-but—"
"No. Promise me now. That you'll protect yourself from the monster I'll become."
"Ghost—"
"No, promise."
His eyes penetrated yours, his gaze inescapable and domineering. Clearly, he would not let you weasel your way out with any weak excuses, or your pathetic reasoning. It was evident that no matter what you were to say, Ghost would refuse to listen, only becoming more dismissive.
Reluctantly, you found yourself nodding, breathing out a breathless: "I promise."
Ghost hummed in satisfaction, pleased, and said no more.
"Good. See, wasn't so hard now, was that, hm?" He asked, yet you said nothing.
"Hey, cheer up..." Tone softening, as he reached a callous hand to place on your knee in an attempt to reassure you. "It's not like I'm asking you to do it now."
You sniffed fiercely, eyes glassy. "Then why would you ask me in the first place?"
"Why? Because at some point, I'll turn."
He shook his head. "It won't be you, though. Never. I would never, ever, let you get bit."
His breath hitched in his throat, and your eyes widened slightly in surprise.
Ghost took a sip from his steaming flask, seemingly unfazed by the sensation of burning on his tongue. In fact, he even relished in it.
His lips were tightly pressed together into a needle-thin line. "When you shoot me, you won't be shooting me, y'know."
"Therefore, you must not let your emotions get in the way. What's the point of me getting infected, in an attempt to save your life, only for me to kill you in death?"
You pondered this over for a moment. "What makes you think you'll get infected saving me? Maybe it could the the other way around. You can't be so sure."
Ghost's eyes had an ironic glint, and flickered like a light bulb about to blow a fuse.
"Oh, trust me. I'm sure."
You sat up, straightening your back. "Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, it's not s'pposed to mean anything."
"Hey! Are you mocking me?"
For the first time in this conversation, Ghost chuckled. He couldn't help not to, with how childishly you were acting.
"Maybe a little bit. But you just make it so easy for me, that I can't resist."
You groaned, and rolled your eyes.
"Well then, maybe resist being an ass."
Ghost quirked a brow at how you spoke, yet decided not to scold you like he always did. Instead, he offered you his flask.
"Will put hairs on your chest."
You scrunched your nose at the contents. "Let me guess: carbonated piss, vodka, and liquid shit? My favourite."
"Made an order at a cafe, and I got served this slop," he shrugged. "They even spelt my name wrong. Would you believe that?"
You shook your head in mock disbelief. "Unbelievable. You better have gotten a refund for that."
"I didn't pay. Made a beeline for the exit. I wouldn't pay a cent for this shit."
Unable to keep up the act anymore, you snorted, and stifled your silly giggles by clasping a hand over your mouth.
"It's tea." Ghost said. "I'm not thirsty, anyways."
"You gotta get somethin' down your system," you said in an over the top gruff voice. "Promise to shoot me when I get a papercut. I won't be able to go on—"
Wordlessly, Ghost placed the flask in your hands. The fact that instead of a scowl on his half-masked face was an ironic smirk surprised you, and he said:
"Drink that, and go to sleep, yeah? I'll keep watch."
"What about you, though?" Your eyes frowned. "Won't you sleep?"
"I'm good. I'm a light-sleeper, anyways, and I won't exactly get a wink of shuteye with your snoring."
"Hey—!"
"C'mon. Rest up."
Taking a swig of the hot beverage, you felt a warmness wash over your body, cleansing your soul, and heating you right from your fingertips to your ears.
"Thanks, Ghost," you said with gratitude. "You sure you'll be okay tonight?"
Ghost nodded, staring deeply into your eyes.
You sighed, and moved off the wooden log to unzip your sleeping bag to nestle inside, like a worm comfortably in a cocoon.
It didn't take you long to fall asleep, as the crackling of the flames lulled you to sleep, whispering in harsh, yet warm voices a bedtime story in the language of fire.
When he heard your soft snores and saw the way your sleeping bag rose and fell with each muffled breath, he untied his boot laces.
With you asleep, he finally dared to peel the coarse fabric that had dried with blood, like cardboard on his skin.
Wincing in pain as he pulled up the material coagulated with blood, his calf had an evident bite mark.
The skin around it had not rotted, yet, but was raw, with the surrounding flesh pulsating as if it had a human heart beat.
Gritting his teeth with each maggot that he picked out from his calf, burrowed deep in his flesh, feasting upon it, he blinked indifferently at the wound, already accepting of his fate.
The bleeding had stopped. That much Ghost had going for him, at least.
Stomping on that zombie's head was cathartic. Watching its brain matter splatter on his boot, a lifeless body with a head of grey, slimy mush, brought instantaneous relief.
Yet, when reality sunk in, and he realised that killing that zombie in that heated moment would not take back the bite mark, that moment of relief transformed into the weight of an even heavier burden on his shoulders, an added weight to the emotional baggage he had been lugging for years now.
His gaze turning to your concealed body, burrowed in your nest, he hobbled over to lay his own sleeping bag over you, and took off his coat. Tucking in the sleeves under you so you were cozy, he sighed again, and slumped on the ground some metres away.
How was he going to break this news to you? You were a smart cookie, even with the shit he gave you all of the time, and were bound to figure it out on your own.
But he couldn't. Not yet, anyways. He still had a base to get you to.
He couldn't burden you with this information. He couldn't.
Only when the end was in sight, the base on the horizon, you headed straight towards civilisation, could he make his peace with shortcomings, the way you'd sob and shout at him, how you'd curse as your fists pounded at his chest, voice so hoarse and choked with tears all you'd be able to do is sob.
Or, maybe he wouldn't at all.
Maybe the gentle breeze in your hair, sun reflected in your rolling eyes that were unamused by another humourless joke, dry, unwashed skin positively glowing in the setting sun, the cracked lips twitching in a desperate desire to stretch into a smirk, and the way your body was hunched over under the weight of your heavy backpack, head bobbing in blind, naive determination to reunite him with his team, to have been there on the journey, was not a sight he had wanted to taint.
He'd tell you to walk straight, and you'd babble obliviously on about something, and slowly withdraw from your side. You'd get swept away by the crowd in the base, with familiar faces, arms hugging you from all sides and welcoming you with warmth, as a shot rang out in the cheerful commotion, his cold body laying on the even colder ground.
When the time came to it, he would have likely said nothing. A selfish need to preserve the memory of your not knowing, of your being blissfully unaware and never being burdened with the truth, was a mercy.
Just how it would have been a mercy kill for you to shoot him when push would come to shove, just was it merciful to spare your sanity and your innocence.
When you woke up, Ghost had slowly started developing symptoms of a common flu in the night.
Nothing too alarming, yet alarmingly out of character for him to be unwell, and you raised your alarm.
"Jus' pnuemonia, soldier," he'd say, voice hoarse, before coughing into his fist.
"What about these?" You insisted, taking out medication from your backpack. "And plenty of rest? Doctor's orders!"
"These drugs that the doctor prescribes don't ever work on me. Besides, we've got places to be. I'm not wasting my time in waiting room."
This time, Ghost's sarcasm didn't amuse you like you always pretended it didn't. Worry gnawed at you from the inside like a parasite, and your eyes were pleading. "Not even for me? Please? Jokes aside, you really should rest. It's fine if we cam out here for another few days or so.
At that, his eyes softened. "Gonna 'av to bear through it. Like I would have otherwise. 'S not the end of the world."
There was an undertone to his words that was so subtle you hadn't noticed. The ironic smile betrayed nothing.
Not the end of the world for you, it wouldn't. For him, it would. His life on this world would be over. Would end.
The next day, Ghost slurred his speech.
When Ghost was speaking as you two were hunched over some grub, you'd catch drool running down his chin and collecting in pools on the sides of his mouth.
As soon as he realised where your eyes were looking, Ghost immediately went to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.
He ate isolated from you then onwards, and would have his back turned to conceal his eating.
Sinking his steel bat into a head of an approaching zombie, he'd grunt with effort now.
Ghost, trudged rather than walked, stomping his feet, as if each foot weighed a tonne and was a weight he had to lift each time.
Feet faced in opposite directions, perpendicular to each other, and legs wobbling as if sea-sick. It meant that he was limping, as if he had a walking impediment.
"Ghost, are you okay?"
"Twisted my ankle when we were fighting that horde," he hissed through gritted teeth, voice as monotone as always. "Don't worry about me, soldier. We're going to get you to that base."
You started. His ankled hadn't been twisted when you were running away just now. But, you reasoned, it was probably the adrenaline that kept him going, that had heightened his senses yet numbed the pain.
Then, you halted in your tracks. "Base?"
"Cap'ain's base," he clarified. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
He was limping. Walking like he was ineberiated, core off balance and like his legs too long for his body.
He was no longer as affectionate with you. Showing signs aggression, getting frustrated with small-talk. He'd rather grind his jaws in silence, nearly growling.
"Hey, I just— I wanted to thank you. For saving me. I mean, that day, when we were fighting that horse. You saved me."
He grunted. "Don't get used to me saving your ass all of the time."
"I won't! Really, Ghost, I'm grateful. I couldn't put it into words."
"But?" He snapped. "Spit it out."
"W-well— I mean, you should rest. For Christ's sake, you're barely able to walk! Your ankle isn't going to heal if you keep putting pressure on it! And on top of the that, you're fucking sick!"
"I've had worse. It's not like my foot will dislocate itself on its own." He snarled. "Besides; choices have consequences. I chose to save you. I could turned, and left you to the horde. But I didn't. And that had its consequences."
"Had? What are you on about? You mean has, because you damn near broke your fucking leg! You're close to a fucking cripple!"
"I can walk just fine, soldier. You're just overreacting."
"I'm overreacting?!" Your eyes bulged out of your head, and you almost erupted in fury. "Then how will your team react, seeing you like this, huh? You think they won't be overreacting, huh?!"
He gave you a death glare. "You're right, soldier. They won't be."
"Look..." you began hesitantly, wincing at his sharp voice that stabbed a dagger into your already breaking heart. "You won't die if we don't make it there by this week," you insisted, "so, won't you please rest?"
"Soldier, I won't rest until we make it there by this week." He'd smile his iconic ironic smile, one that you still couldn't interpret nor comprehend as to why. "We've not long to go. And then, I'll consider resting."
"You promise?"
He stiffened up, still as a statue.
"I don't make promises," he grunted, and stormed off.
Your heart sank.
"Hey!" You jogged up to catch up with him, taken aback by his sudden change in character. "Why not? It's not even life or death, like the promise I made to you! What's the big deal?!"
"I can't make promises," he stated as a matter of factly, almost as if it was common knowledge and he was putting it in simple terms for you to understand.
You were seething. "What do you mean you can't?!So I made you a promise, promised to shoot you, for what? For you to end up being a fucking hypocrite?!"
"I mean," he emphasised. "It's not in my moral code."
Almost grinding your teeth in frustration, you quipped back: "Just as it is immoral of you to withhold information! What is so immoral about you—"
Your heart sank so, so much deeper, so deep it was lost in an abyss.
In deep water, drowning.
It couldn't be true. Couldn't be.
"Oh my God."
You took two steps back. Not in fear of Simon , but in fear of the situation itself.
"...You're... y-you're bit, aren't you?"
Shoulders tensing up, Ghost moved his hand towards your shoulder in an attempt to placate you, but you flinched.
"Y-you're bit! Oh my fucking God, you're—"
You couldn't breathe. It was like you were suffocating, your head underwater.
For the first time ever, you understood the irony behind Ghost's smile.
Hyperventilating, you recoiled at each of his attempts to console you, refusing to allow him to.
"Won't you calm down, soldier? It's alright."
Ghost was beginning to lose his temper. "Calm down," he hissed. "We can talk about this."
"FINE! Let's fucking TALK!"
Ghost was walking ahead of you, walking so fast that you were out of breath jogging after him.
Doubled-over wheezing for oxygen, you looked up with a heaving chest. You two had reached a wide warehouse, making up for its lack in height it its width.
The metal around the door hinges had heavily rusted to the point that it took kicking a side-door down until it finally gave enough lee-way to slither inside through the small gap made.
Brown eyes darkened, and narrowed at you. "Inside."
You shot him a scowl, tempted to give him the middle finger, but backed out at the last second, realised it would be childish.
As you two were inside the warehouse, the bolt tightly shut behind you and all windows and doors locked, ensured that the place was completely abandoned, and barricaded the entrance as a safety precaution... you two got into a screaming match.
"SO?! Are you going to FUCKING tell me why you chose to say nothing?!"
"About me being bitten? Really? And what would me having told you sooner changed, huh?"
"Uh, HELLO! You're fucking infected! You were bitten by one of those zombies, and that was, what? A WEEK ago?"
"It was because this is the exact type of interaction that I was dreading. For fuck's sake, rookie, I knew you'd blow y'fucking lid like this! What sort of a soldier bloody are you if you can't fucking calm yourself?"
"Oh, me?! Blow MY fucking lid?! How fucking dare you! You're the one always calling me a fucking soldier when I'm not!"
"Fuck, don't you get it? It's your own damn fault for being so goddamn reckless!"
You seized up, eye twitching. Positively seething.
"What— what did you say?"
"For fuck's sake, I told you, didn't I? I fucking told you to stay put!" Ghost yelled. "There of course had to be an itch in your ass and of course you had to go bloody wandering, straight into danger!"
You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "What, so you're fucking blaming me for you being infected? Is— is that it?"
"Wait, no—" Ghost immediately backtracked. "—you're misinterpreting what I fucking told you!"
"No, I interpret it loud and clear," you said, tone dripping with venom. "It's my fault. I get it. It's my fault for wanting to get involved. My fault for fucking caring about you, because I was worried sick and worried whether this outing would be your last—!"
Tears of fury were streaming down your faces in rivers, a waterfall of emotions all crashing into you at once.
You sniffed angrily, and avoided his eyes, feeling vulnerable. "I-I— I care about you, Ghost! Don't you get it? I have always cared!"
"I just guess—" Your wobbly, cracked voice, blotchy cheeks, quivering lip, and puffy pink eyes made you look pathetic, you knew.
You didn't care. Feelings pent up for far too long now came hurtling out along the floodgates, and you were in utter despair.
"—I-I just guess I never should have cared, should I?"
Ghost stared at you with a steely gaze, stoic and remorseless.
"Well. I told you to keep work strictly professional, didn't I, rookie? What can I say, aside from, it's your own fault?"
He stormed off before you could call after him, slamming the nearest door in this workhouse and locking it from the inside.
You sobbed, feeling more pathetic than ever, and crumpled on the floor in a disgarded heap, like a pile of trash.
Ghost slammed his fist against the door.
"Goddamnit—"
Keeping work strictly professional his ass.
He fell in love with you. How could he not have?
Always trying to hard to break down the walls that he'd stubbornly keep building, brick by brick, you tore down those walls.
Like a human bulldozer, you demolished his reinforcements, and his bare scaffolding, his vulnerability, were exposed to you.
The moment him and you returned to base, he was hit with a gut feeling.
That, at that moment in time, it was truly you and him left. There was no one to save, no one to save you. No one to save you, aside from him. Realising that it was he, he the only one who could get you to safety, and no one else.
And he hated you.
It wasn't a hatred, or a loathing. You gave him no reason to, and were none the wiser.
He never hated you, never. It was you that he hated, the one that broke down his reinforcements and rekindled the fire inside that had been ashes.
With every time he pushed you away, kept you at arm's length, he found himself pining for you more.
And he hated you. Hated you because he loved you.
He hated your voice because it soothed him like a mother's voice would her own child.
It didn't matter when you cursed, when you hissed harshly at him in a mock anger, when you sniffed and your nose twitched. All these things about you made you human, and he realised that even if humanity was lessened, humanity was less, there was still humanity in you.
And it made Ghost feel not like a ghost, a haunting phantom, of the Simon Riley he was, but the Simon Riley he ought to be. Your Simon Riley.
He hated you because you made things all the more difficult for him. If he just was to push you away, to distance himself, he thought, surely your inevitable parting of ways would be less painful.
But it didn't get any easier. Not at all.
If anything, seeing the dejected expression you would fail to hide in time, the way the sparkle in your eyes dimmed just a little after getting rejected once more, meant that gnawing guilt ate Ghost from the inside out.
He reasoned that he was doing all of this for your own good. For his own good, too. No strings attached, with no attachment to you, your parting of ways would have been easier.
But it was this act he insisted was selfless, that was selfish. The fact of the matter was, he needed you as much as you needed him.
He hated that you made him feel this way because these feelings were dangerous.
At any moment, at any point in time, you could be ripped away from his callous hands, leaving a void that was already empty as it was.
Emptiness inside of him that only you could fill, feelings which would never again be fulfilled with you gone, and he could not bring himself to admit that regardless of how much you needed him, it was him that needed you.
Most of all, he hated you because you were the only good thing that he had left.
If you were to die, there would be no reason for him to keep living.
Yes, he had told you that he was on his own mission to track down the Task Force, but, he had known long ago that it was just a delusion he was playing into, an insane idea that managed to keep him sane as it gave him some purpose.
It was a lie he spoon-fed you, forcing you to believe in a lie that he himself was beginning to believe in, realising that at the end of the road, was would be nothing left for him.
Ghost lived for you and did everything in his power so that you too would keep living. You were just a rookie, had your whole like ahead of you, and deserved to live past his own years. Deserved to live, and outlive a person like him, as he knew that he didn't deserve to.
With that logic, he just never knew that he was willing to die for you, too.
He had cheated death once. Faced the Grim Reaper and spat in his face.
But not this time.
He swore he was hallucinating the cloaked figure in the corner of this room right now, sneering, domineering, with glowing orange eyes.
This time, he wouldn't claw his way out from his grave, the taste of blood and dirt repulsing him in his mouth and his limbs weary, yet tasting the sweet, fresh air of freedom; this time, all that he would ever taste is the dirt. Buried for good six feet under a nameless tombstone marking his grave.
As he saw his bruised leg pulsating, he couldn't control the unnatural tics, his calf twitching as maggots swarmed to feed on his decomposing flesh.
Whole body spasming painfully, his arms and legs jittered as if his limbs as if they had a severe form of arthritis, yet each involuntary contortion of his limbs brought agony, agony, agony.
The bags under his eyes had gotten bigger, hollow eye sockets with milky white eyes that had a thousand yard stare now.
Deep grey veins bulged out of his hands to his forearms, all the way past his biceps, shoulders, and neck. Throbbing in rhythm to his synthetic pulse.
Pupils were sensitive to light, and had adapted to the darkness.
Skin was far paler, sallow and sickly-looking, sagging in places and skin cells starting to peel off.
And, despite the layers of clothing he had on — a tank top under his shirt, a jacket, a hoodie, and a tactical vest, all underneath a thick winter coat — he was freezing, and constantly shivering from the cold.
Constantly cold, cold, cold.
The realisation that he was watching himself decomposing into a corpse in real-time was a horrific one.
Few times could Ghost admit he was horrified, as he had become desensitised to horror after his exposure to it from a young age, witnessing horror beyong imaginable that he was wholly unfazed by.
This, however? It was not horrifying. It was torture.
His brain, however, had self-awareness in tact and sufficient enough for rational thought.
His limbs did not do what he told them to do, though — would seize up, as if having an epileptic seizure, the feeling of writhing on the ground in agony as he was also electrocuted, imparting his movements.
It took every fibre of his being to hold off the urge to take your body in his claws and to rip it apart with his teeth.
He was a prisoner of his own body, unable to break free of the virus consuming him from the inside out, the way his cells were mutating alternating his strings of DNA, his code, coding for an intense desire for flesh. For your flesh, because you were the closest living being in his proximity.
Not to mention, that his teeth were decaying, too. Black gums bleeding, yet tongue salivating excessively even though he'd have thought his body physically incapable of producing saliva.
He yearned to bite into a chunk of your flesh, to lick his dry, coarse lips, his mouth stained with the sweet taste of your blood.
To chew on the meat of your neck, and watch in fascination as a fountain of blood sprayed from your neck like a hose, blood splattering on the walls as you screamed in agony, struggling in vain to push off the crazed monster—
Ghost let out a shaky sigh, and after a moment, regained his composure.
Looking back now, Ghost could have amputated his leg. He felt the jaws close around his ankle and sink his teeth to his bone at that exact moment, felt his skin, muscle, flesh, be torn apart by sharp canines.
As soon as you two were safe, he could have hacked off his lower leg with a saw at the abandoned warehouse you two were camping outside that night that he would have surely been able to find, no matter how rusty and the bluntness of the sharp blades.
But why? Why butcher himself? What was the point of doing all that in a frantic effort to cease the disease infecting his entire body when he'd be crippled?
He wouldn't be able to protect you. Instead, he'd be dead weight and drag you down. A burden that you'd be burdened with.
You were skilled, intelligent, and lucky, too. Yet you were only human. Your luck, as plentiful as it was bound to run out.
And, through no fault of your own, a gang of deranged lunatics would ambush you and kill you if it meant they could divide your possessions amongst each other, a horde of zombies would come storming in like a mass hurricane and devour you when you were at a dead end, succumb to starvation or, you would succumb to an injury like he was succumbing to.
He couldn't let that happen. He had to keep going, would only rest in peace when he knew you were at a secure hideout, a safe location, free of danger. At that, he'd gladly pass away, his mission completed.
And his mission would never have been completed if he had been hobbling with makeshift crutches, holding on to your shoulders for support, weighing you down with his weight and having been powerless had a zombie, zombies, found you.
Then again, he couldn't have blamed them. Just one sinking of teeth... just a small chunk of the juicy meat of your thighs or arms... j-just to quench his thirst for human flesh—
Ghost punched his arm, hard.
No. He couldn't.
The temptation was becoming too great to resist.
He could overpower you, could, but he could not do that.
To you, of all people. His love.
He had shut the door in your face. It was like driving his own dagger through his own heart at your forlorn face, but it had to be done. His love for you was dangerous.
Having these thoughts was dangerous. Not just thoughts to kill, but thoughts to kiss you, just once. Just once, before he died.
How he would have had liked to feel your lips on his, to bite down on your lower lip.
Harder, and harder, until he pried your mouth open with inhuman grip and snapped your jaw, ripping your gums with his own teeth, oh so delectable—
Ghost hurled the lone chair in the cellar.
"Godamnit!"
He was self-aware, but not self-aware for rational thought. Not anymore.
Only minutes ago had he been thinking straight. Now, he couldn't differentiate his desire for you, between his desire for your flesh.
Calmly, he limped towards the turned-over chair in the corner and set it straight, and slumped on top of it, feeling like a sack of potatoes.
It pained him knowing that the last time he would see your face would be frowning, your lower lip quivering, chin and cheeks blotchy from the salty, bitter tears of your argument.
You would blame yourself, would go on thinking that this was your fault.
It was never your fault. Never.
It was never your fault that he got bitten.
It was never your fault that he loved—
"Ghost?"
Your voice was shaky, hoarse with tears. At any moment, it seemed, anything to trigger you would cause your emotions to tip over in an explosion of anguish, and you could maintain your composure.
"Ghost. P-please come out. I'm sorry."
A muffled voice on the radio spoke to Ghost, yet he said nothing in reply.
Putting your ear to the door, the loud noise obscured much of what you could hear from the other side of the door, meaning you had no idea what was going on in there.
Yet, if you really, really concentrated, then you'd hear vague shuffling in the room, heavy footsteps moving things.
"Ghost? Please. Please come out."
You still waited.
Waited for Ghost to say something, anything, anything at all, to hear him respond, reply, acknowledge your presence at the door, to at least acknowledge the voice on the radio.
By the sounds of it, the voice was beginning to get emotional with Ghost's unresponsive state, his lack of reply, and it began emphatically ranting about something, all unintelligible from your side.
Slumping on the floor, your back to the door, your chest rose unevenly with each inhale, fell as unevenly with each mournful exhale.
You hadn't thought you'd really be mourning.
As, a sickening crack behind the door suddenly brought you to your senses.
Panic-stricken, you banged on the door with your knuckles. "Ghost, Ghost! You okay? Ghost!"
Knocking turned to hammering with your fists, afraid and desperate at the same time. Yelling repeatedly: "Ghost! What happened?" "Are you okay?" "Can I help?" "Ghost, please. Please!" "Say something!" "Please!"
The door would not budge, and no noise came out. Ghost would not respond. Or maybe he couldn't.
You resorted to kicking the door, using your entire body weight to tet it to open. To no avail.
"F-fuck—" Too desperate at that moment to care about the ringing from shooting from close-range, your hands scrambled for your pistol and shot the door handle multiple times, grimacing when high-pitched ringing in your ears was splitting your skull open louder than you could have anticipated.
Miraculously, the handle fell off. But something was in front of the door, and even with your entire body pressed against the door, the door stayed put.
Full of adrenaline at having made some progress, in your blind haste, you hurled your entire side to the door.
And, the door slid an inch, a vertical line revealing little in the room aside from the light from the awning window. It was progress.
Energised by this sudden success, you became a makeshift battering ram, not caring for the grey and green bruises already that had surely formed already all on your side.
Inch by stubborn inch, the door moved outwards.
The door flung open, and what had obstructed the door — a tall metal filing cabinet — crashed onto the ground, with yellowed paper spilling on the ground, fluttering like butterflies.
At the sight before you, you froze.
There Ghost was, sitting cross-legged on a chair.
That same skeleton mask, the same gear, the same body, true, but it wasn't him. Not anymore.
The sickening crack you heard moments before made sense now.
His jaw, dangling inanimately, was off-center. It was completely broken.
Dislocated, it seemed, through brute force. Broken with his own hands, his hands shining with wet, black blood.
His neck was strapped to an unfolded metal chair by his own belt. His chest and waist also were binded to the chair, but with with thick rope, tied intricately initially, then had devolved into a sloppy loop when the task got too fiddly.
His arms, likewise, were strapped to the arm rests, wrists handcuffed for good measure, yet Ghost's left forearm had broken out from his restraint, and his nails had scratched metal, deep claw marks in the armrest.
The radio had been loud. Loud, so it obscured the sound of his struggle.
You suddenly doubled over, hands on your knees, thinking that you were about to vomit.
It hit you, that he had been doing this while you had stood there, idle, none the wiser.
Immediately imagining Ghost thrashing around in this chair, fighting the spread of the disease, all the while you sat there idly and ignorantly, you regurgitated what you had eaten, tasting vomit in your mouth.
You gagged, groaning in disgust, but swallowed it all in one go and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.
Torn between looking at Ghost and not looking at him at all anymore, you found your gaze gradually going down.
His ankles were also bound to the chair legs. One of his calves, however, was completely decomposed, to the point that you could see his tibula and the tendons in his foot.
An airy gasp escaped you, silent. No sound came out.
The skin around it had deep black veins, and had frayed, decayed, oozing a slimy pus, with maggots feeding off the rotted flesh. Already, flies had swarmed around his corpse through the open window.
It was clear. Using his last remains of sentience, what remained of his consciousness, his humanity, Ghost tied himself to this chair.
Yet, something must have told him that this wouldn't last. His belt, the ropes, and even his handcuffs wouldn't have been enough to hold him back.
As a last resort, be broke his jaw. You knew immediately why: as a final precaution, in order to prevent himself from infecting anyone. From infecting you. From biting you.
You were unbelievably calm processing all of this. Too devastated to move, you now understood the voice that was speaking to Ghost on the radio.
It was as if the sound was on mute, your world at a stand-still, and some higher power had unpaused this moment. Like some cinematic choice made by a director.
And the plot twist, was that it was neither the voice of Soap, Price, or Garrick. This was a stranger, a female, speaking:
"—a safe zone. Here, there is safety, and we can guarantee your protection."
You recognised that voice. It was the female commander talking through Ghost's earpiece.
"Humans have not yet gone extinct, and humanity in our safe zone exists.
"To anyone that is out there, you are welcomed. We will welcome you with open arms and tend to any and all of your wounds.
"You will be fed, will be given shelter, and will be a member of our community of survivors.
"If you are hearing this, our coordinates are ***°**′**″ N, ***°**′**″ E. Keep this channel on. We can track you, as long as you play this message.
"Every day, we broadcast this message at 1200 for an hour, just as we have done yesterday, the days before, and will continue to do so tomorrow.
"There is a safe zone. Here, there is safety, and we can guarantee your protection.
"Humans have not yet gone extinct, and humanity in our safe zone exists. There is food, water, warmth, and shelter. Close to seventeen thousand of us have regrouped — civillians, farmers, teachers, doctors, scientists, soldiers — and are rebuilding civilisation a day at a time.
"Your background does not matter. We take in anyone able-bodied and fit to contribute in any way possible.
"We have a pharmacy, with medication, with antibiotics, with inhalers and with insulin.
"To anyone that is out there, we will take you in, and you will be protected. You are not alone.
"I repeat, If you are hearing this, our coordinates are ***°**′**″ N, ***°**′**″ E.
"Every day, we broadcast this message at 1200 for an hour, just as we have done yesterday, the days before, and will continue to do so tomorrow—"
You shut off the radio.
Ghost had been lying to you.
Lied to you about the Task Force. Lied to you about the journey you two had been making.
Had lied about having been bitten, and it was only through chance that you had found this out.Ghost had been lying to you all this time.
You broke down in hysterics, your calmness taking a 180 all in the duration of seconds.
Why, why? Why didn't he tell you? Why couldn't he just tell you?
This whole motive, the reason to keep going, was all a lie. A pretense.
It was a selfless act, yet to you it, couldnt have been more selfish. How dared he keep this from you? How dared he? Why didn't he tell you the truth?
Curse you, Ghost! you thought, wailing in pain as hot tears cut your cheeks.
Vision blurred, you looked up, stricken with grief, and glanced into those milky white eyes of his.
For a moment, a wave of serene had crashed into you, and your crying calmed. Mind was tranquil.
Ghost wasn't thrashing around like a zombie would in his restaints.
Wasn't bearing his teeth, lunging forward to sink his canines into your flesh.
Wasn't letting out a guttural roar.
It was clear that he had before you entered, the restraints that did little to restrain him evidence of that.
Yet, he observed you in a docile manner, and his broken jaw made him look pathetic.
His eyes weren't glowing, neither, nor were they orange. Just white.
You had thought he was blind, as his pupils were pinpricks unresponsive to light, but his eyes followed your every movement, watched you intensely.
Completely still, he stared at you with unblinking eyes, unable to swat the flies landing on his eyeballs with his wrists cuffed. Maybe not even feeling them at all.
Perhaps you were imagining things, thinking irrationally when hysterical, but you swore there was more to those eyes. Recognition.
A hesitant hand moved towards his face, wavering yet unwavering in its purpose.
When you cupped his masked cheek, his eyes conveyed a certain sadness, and were apologetic, almost as if his eyes were apologising. Conveying an apology through his eyes that he couldn't ever had through words.
Silently pleading for forgiveness. For you to forgive him. To understand.
It was unbearable. You couldn't bear to look him in the eyes anymore. You couldn't bear this.
His eyes narrowed, gaze as penetrating in death as it had been while he was alive. Even more penetrative, almost as if seeing right through your very soul.
The promise. You had of course remembered. The promise you had made that night had weighed heavy on your mind ever since.
It was unbearable. The thought of what you had to do was unbearable.
You promised. You had promised. Even if Ghost wasn't one to make promises, you were.
Your pistol on the floor where you had dropped it while collapsing, shimmered in the slither of sunlight that broke through the crack in the window.
With effort, you stretched your arms and reached for it with all your might.
You couldn't bear to hold your gun in your hands. Hands were clammy, so your grip was weak, and fingers too weak to hold it properly.
Even with both hands, you couldn't steady the shaking, the swallowed sobs causing your throat to go dry, and to choke on oxygen.
Head turned away, waterfalls of tears streaming down your face in gushing rivers, you pulled the trigger.
And a deafening shot rung out, echoing in the cellar.
You knew what you had to do. You did.
You had promised him. Promised Ghost.
But you didn't have the strength to do it.
The bullet pierced through the handcuff restraining his other wrist.
The metal fell to the floor with a dull clang.
Ghost, mesmerised, raised his hand to stare at it, not fully registering to him that this was his own hand.
You broke his promise.
Guilt overwhelmed you, as you denied a dead man's wish.
Without looking up at Ghost, you crouched down, and with your pocket knife, began working at the thick ropes binding his body.
When you stood up, Ghost had not budged. Had not even moved a muscle. His eyes were on you, unblinking.
"Come on, Ghost," you whispered, in the same tone of voice that Ghost himself would use when he used to address you.
Eyes widening, he allowed you to pull him up to his feet, no longer towering over you like he always did with his back hunched over now.
Your eyes softened at the sight of him, fresh tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, but you wiped at them before they could fall, and smiled reassuringly at Ghost, the ways that his eyes would smile reassuring you.
"Our journey isn't over, s-s—soldier," you whispered, voice cracking.
"My journey has always been you, Ghost."
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A/N: Happy New Year guys !! 🎉🎉🎊🙌🎆🎇🎇 Startijg the year off strong with a fanfiction TWO MONTHS in the making!! 💥🥳🔫 Sure do hope all tjis work was worth it 😍, bc i SWEAR im not postijg anytjing for ANOTHER two months bc I am EXHAUSTED 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔
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forlix · 5 months
Text
𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫・h.h.
— an impromptu drive to the airport at five in the morning rekindles conversations and feelings alike.
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words・2.5k pairing・ex-boyfriend!hyunjin x gn!reader genres・angst, mutual pining, hurt w/no resolution, established (former) relationship, Airport Scene™ warnings・implied toxicity, strong language, Not a Happy Read
a/n・dear anon who asked where this went after i posted and deleted it a few months ago & dear other anon who requested mentioned hyune angst: this is for u, my loves
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“I’m outside,” was how you were greeted over the phone earlier, in a tone so callous and cold that you barely recognized the speaker. Barely.
“Sorry, you’re what?”
“You have a flight today, right? I said I’d take you to the airport.”
One second, you were at a complete loss; the next, you thought you were going to erupt with how much you felt and how much you wanted to say, the weight of the situation hitting you with full force. Your ex-boyfriend, to whom you hadn’t spoken in nearly three weeks, had just materialized outside your home with no warning at the ass crack of dawn and suggested you get into a car alone with him for an hour.
As if that wasn’t the very last thing you wanted to do.
Briefly, you reflected on how you parted ways; you wouldn’t say the breakup was malicious, but it certainly wasn’t amicable, either. The longer your relationship went on, the more questions you raised—important and unavoidable considerations of your future together, none of which Hyunjin could give you substantial answers to. Whether it was because he couldn’t or because he simply didn’t care to try, you didn’t know. But the fact that you had to ask yourself that at all was enough for you to take a step back.
Distance morphed into passive aggression. That, in turn, precipitated constant conflict. The starlight that you saw in Hyunjin fizzled further with every biting word and slammed door. The resulting supernova was far from the beautiful spectacle you’d been promised in your astronomy textbooks.
Standing on the sidewalk outside your apartment was your fallen star in the flesh.
“Let me do this, Y/N."
You’d gone silent for what felt like whole minutes before Hyunjin spoke again.
"Please," he added. You perceived how the word weakened towards the end, some of the frost in his voice displaced by quiet exasperation.
It was these observations, plus the time displayed on the clock hanging above your bathroom door, that prompted you to take your luggage in hand and leave your apartment. You were going to miss your flight if you stood there, glowering silently, for any longer.
When you emerged into the frigid morning, you spotted Hyunjin’s silhouette immediately, and something inside you came undone, as though a knot had been doing itself over and over since you and him parted ways. Your eyes locked together, your gaze contemplative, his a little surprised, as if he didn’t actually expect you to accept his offer.
The first word that came to your mind was exhausted. You could tell that the shadows on his face weren’t just products of the lone streetlight above his head; he had his back curved in a slouch that made him look a few inches shorter than he was. You were reminded of a balloon with an indiscernible opening somewhere on its surface, gradually and inevitably deflating.
Much to your irritation, the second word to surface in your mind was beautiful. Hyunjin’s normally sharp features, from what you could see beneath his hood, were bare and smooth from fatigue; thick strands of dark hair, longer than you remembered, fell effortlessly over his forehead and his cheekbones; his figure somehow looked even broader, leaner when fitted in the loose material of a hoodie and sweatpants.
He was the spitting image of a man you used to know, who looked just like this whenever he wandered into your bedroom at the end of the day, whenever he wrapped you into his arms and littered kisses over your skin until sleep overcame the both of you like a warm, clear tide, whenever he greeted you with a smile that shone like the tropical sun the next morning.
You were standing in front of a ghost.
You broke eye contact first, averting your eyes to your luggage instead. Just in time to see and feel his hand brush against yours when he took your suitcases from you and loaded them into the trunk, all without saying a word.
Now, twenty minutes have passed since Hyunjin started driving, and forty remain before you reach the airport. The vehicle is deathly silent save for the drone of wheels against pavement and wind whistling against dusty windows. You haven’t looked at Hyunjin since you met him outside your place. Instead, your eyes are fixated on the lights of Seoul and the way they flicker out of sight one by one as you drive further away.
And you remember.
The different memories you have of this car blow through your mind like you’re skimming a flipbook. That time you burst into tears mid-drive and Hyunjin pulled over on the side of the highway, giving you his undivided attention as you ranted about the terrible day you’d had. That time you noticed a paparazzi van stationed around the corner and the two of you sank so low in your seats that you had to later unfold yourselves from beneath the glove compartments. The assorted dog-shaped air fresheners you bought for him, a new one hanging from the rear-view every month (except the one that resembled Kkami, which stuck around for almost a year). The caffeine-flavored kisses shared over the cupholders between the seats, one person tipping over the drinks precariously, the other moving to catch them with a soft huff of laughter. The extra hoodie he kept in his backseat for if you ever accidentally underdressed when you went out together. The playlist you curated together, always playing quietly in the background.
You never gave this car a second thought when you and Hyunjin were together, but it is only now that you realize the place felt a little like an extension of home, of him.
The silence becomes fucking excruciating.
You are not sure if Hyunjin is interested in speaking to you. You’re less sure if you even have anything to say to him. But you open your mouth anyway.
“Thank you,” you say, hardly audible. “For doing this.”
A pregnant pause follows. Hyunjin probably wasn’t expecting you to start a conversation—neither were you, to be fair.
Little do you know that he has been trying and failing to string together a sentence since the moment he started the engine, and hearing your voice feels like clouds parting on a foggy day, a singular ray of sunshine settling on his cheek.
“It’s no trouble,” he returns. He’s quiet for a while after this, and you’re beginning to think the conversation is already over when he clears his throat.
“How are you feeling? About the trip, I mean.”
“Good. I think it’ll be nice to get away from Seoul for some time.”
Your choice of answer is intentional, and you can tell by Hyunjin’s lack of immediate response that he picks up on this.
“And you?” You return. “How’ve you been?”
“Fine, thanks. The members and I went to the states a few days ago, finished up album promotions there.”
“Oh, right.” He’d told you about this; they’d been in Japan prior, if you remember correctly. “And everything went well?”
“Yeah. It was a lot of fun.”
“When did you get back?”
You don’t expect him to hesitate at such a simple question, but he does.
“Few hours ago,” he mumbles.
This takes you a few seconds to process. And then, so surprised at his answer that you can no longer help yourself, you finally lift your gaze to the side of Hyunjin’s face.
Your eyes comb over the fluorescent lights of the highway illuminating the slope of his nose; the weariness clouding his irises; his teeth latched gently around his lower lip, as if trying to prevent himself from saying another word.
Hyunjin turns his head to look at you, too, only for a few seconds and more out of anxiety than anything. But you have long mastered the art of reading the fine print of his facial expressions, and that brief interval is enough for you to catch what hadn’t been there the last time you’d looked him in the eye: the true reason why he’d hardly set his bags down on the dormitory floor before he was leaving again, piling into a car and going to you; the same entity that you know is etched all over your face, too.
Yearning.
He is the one who looks away first this time, with a soft snap of his head like he has to force himself to do it—but the damage has already been done.
“Idiot,” you mutter under your breath, and you mean it in every sense of the word.
And it’s so unexpected (and so damn true) that it wrests a laugh from Hyunjin’s lips, the sound every bit as light as it is dark. The bittersweet smile that it leaves behind on his face mirrors helplessly onto your own.
You don’t say another word to each other for the rest of the drive.
The sun has risen by the time Hyunjin pulls up to the curb of the international terminal, but there’s hardly anybody around at this time of day, so he doesn’t mask up before stepping out of the car. He places your suitcases in front of you, then holds up a finger as a silent gesture of wait right there—and he dashes up the curb, beelines towards the line of trolleys, and pulls one over. 
You feel a helpless warmth in your fingertips as you haul your suitcases onto the metal platform together. Even now, he’s taking care of you, as thoughtlessly and naturally as respiring.
“Is that everything?”
“I think so.”
And the two of you find yourselves two feet apart and facing each other, examining your counterparts as if the answer of what the fuck to say now lies in the curves of their cheeks, in the purse of their lips.
But all you obtain from looking at Hyunjin is a glimpse of that wicked entity again, yearning, now in the form of eyes softened by the sunrise and lips parted by forbidden words, sitting readily on the tip of his tongue.
You feel a deep, hollow sadness within you, derived from knowing and hating that no amount of yearning will change the reality that he’s not yours anymore.
“Have a great trip,” Hyunjin says at last. “Be safe, okay?”
“I will,” you answer. “Thank you again. Get some rest today.”
Your arms move to push your trolley, but not before they nearly twitch in his direction with how much you want to hug him goodbye. The last thing you see before turning around is his hand in the air, and then you enter the airport, wondering vaguely if you will ever see him again.
You're in a bit of a numb state as you check in your bags and step into the line for security. The last hour has left you feeling like your heart and mind have filled with static—the kind that shows up when there are too many television signals in the air, all of them unintelligible and amorphous.
But then there is a shout of your name behind you, so urgent that the familiar voice cracks over the last syllable, like bone breaking upon boulder. You turn around.
The white noise clears.
The soles of Hyunjin’s sneakers echo as he runs across the mostly-empty airport; his hood has been knocked down and his long hair set free, combed backward by the wind; there are other eyes on him, but he is only looking at you, something else burning in his gaze now, something certain and familiar. 
You move your suitcases aside and extend your arms, your pulse racing with anticipation—just in time for him to positively crash into you. He very well could have hurt you with how quickly he’s moved toward you, but the very instant his skin meets yours, he’s gathering you so tightly and securely in his arms that he cushions his own fall, costing you only of the breath in your lungs.
And the two of you fuse together like a cosmic collision, imperfect but quintessential. The moon’s craters themselves.
He knots one hand in your hair and cradles the back of your neck with the other; you form fists around the fabric of his hoodie, your face disappearing into the junction of his neck and shoulder. And you feel the tears come at last: tears of relief, of regret, of remembrance.
There are a billion things Hyunjin wants to say to you then. He wants to thank you for loving him. He wants to blame you for loving him. He wants to tell you that it was all worth it for him, so long as he was once the reason that you smiled. He wants to convince you—and himself—that nothing was meant to last forever, that the two of you were destined to burn out, the same way even the biggest and brightest of heavenly bodies have shelf lives too.
But there is one train of thought that overshadows the rest. It rings louder and truer than anything he has ever known and emerges straight from the chambers of his heart.
“I—” He sounds shattered when he speaks, his voice muffled where his lips touch your skin, his words a rasp that is only audible to you. “I still—”
“I know,” you whisper, squeezing your watering eyes. “Me too.”
And you think the shaky “fuck” that leaves his lips is an apt summary of the absolute mess that the two of you have found yourselves in: entirely and obtusely enamored with the person who has proven themselves to be incompatible with your love, time and time again.
You are only willing to pull away far enough from Hyunjin so that you can look at him, his cheeks now damp with saltwater and flushed with emotion, his dreary eyes swimming with adoration and sorrow. You cradle his face with both hands, and he drops his arms to circle around your waist. His fingers lace together against the small of your back.
“It’s gonna be okay,” you murmur. You wipe at his tears with your thumbs, touch your forehead to his. “We’re gonna be okay, Hyun.”
His reply is so sad and so small that your heart feels like it’s being carved out of your chest with a blunt pocket knife. “When?”
You don’t know the answer.
You don’t know the answer when you finally go through security, the final boarding call for your flight booming through the intercom, Hyunjin’s face buried in his shaking sleeves.
You don’t know the answer when you return to Seoul a few months later, and Hyunjin is not there to give you a lift this time.
You don’t know the answer when your birthday passes and you still receive texts from Hyunjin’s parents, wishing you well, reminding you to take care of yourself. Nor do you know the answer on the birthday after that, or the birthday after that, which is when the texts stop coming.
You won’t know the answer for a very long time—so much so that you spend years of your life doubting there’s an answer at all. But you find it one day when you least expect it, and it congeals in your mind like expired milk, numbs your mouth like the strongest of anesthetics. 
You have your answer then, but you don’t want it.
You never have.
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🔖・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend ・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa
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© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡
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my313 · 2 months
Text
milk teeth ୧ ‧₊˚ 🥛 ⋅ ☆ kang taehyun
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now playing 𝄞₊⊹ milk teeth - niki
⋆ pairing: taehyun x f!reader 
⋆ summary: taehyun loves the things you do for him. he loves how familiar you are. probably more than he ever liked you.
⋆ genre/themes/warnings: angst, suggestive (implied former sneaky link!tyun, implications of sex), unhealthy relationship ++ scenes in italics are flashbacks
⋆ word count: 2.6k
a/n: sorry to solomons he was my muse for this song.... I PROMISE ITS NOT THAAAAT BAD I THINK?? lmk actually if this is sad enough.. highly rec listening to the song while reading, i ref some scenes and lines throughout n just... i love the lyrics ! underrated nicole track icb she wrote this in high school lmao
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taehyun had been something between a secret lover and a stranger in the past few months. over the course of your frail affiliation, you jump between thinking that the world was testing you by sending over a guy who would kiss your forehead in the comfort of your dorm room but never look you in the eye in-front of his friends; to being so overtaken by infatuation each time you see his bare skin against your sheets, the sun kissing him on places you’ve found yourself feathering over the night before.
the daydream always shatters when you wake the morning after and the only remnants of his existence within your bedroom are the stains on your bed and the warmth of his body clinging desperately onto where he slept. it’s easy for that dream to rekindle every night; because when taehyun’s at your doorstep with a huge grin on his face, you can’t help but leap into his arms.
when you feel the sun joining you in bed and instead of a phantom of his physique, you find taehyun sound asleep next to you; you can’t fall back asleep. you prop yourself on your side, cheek pressed on your hand and elbow holding your weight, admiring the rare view bestowed upon you. you think it won’t be as rare to see now that taehyun’s your boyfriend — a newly-formed title that came into fruition just yesterday. it wasn’t the most romantic way to ask, settling for a conversation on this very bed after showering together. 
it went along the lines of you saying:
“i’m starting to like you a lot, taehyun.” 
your back is against his chest, situated between his legs. “yeah?” you etch taehyun’s half-smile, half-smirk in your mind as he plays with your hair. it almost feels like he’s finally in the room with you, not drifting away, someplace else, when you confess. you push the thought to back of your head when you feel his chest rumble from a laugh. “have i stolen your heart yet?” 
“...y/n, you thief.”
“am not!” you refute, silly smile stretching your lips, cheeks swelling from the searing affection taehyun offers. it probably burns, but you can’t resist – not when you’re usually off scraping corners of his lukewarm responses and icy texts. 
“can i keep it though?” the tone of your voice is hopeful, and taehyun doesn’t have it in him to say anything but yes. he doesn’t know why he does this, is it because you’re nice? the girl you love should probably have more words under her belt than nice. but that’s what taehyun settles for. 
you’re so nice that taehyun doesn’t even have to spew out the question. 
“can i be your girlfriend, i mean.” you clarify, assuming the silence on his end stemmed from confusion. or that’s what you’ve convinced yourself these kind of moments were; the times where taehyun reels back in and decides you’ve seen enough of his kinder gestures for the time being. 
he nods.
giddy, anxious, once again hauled into infatuation; these are the things that culminate in your chest as you watch taehyun stir. 
you don’t bother to look away once his eyes flutter open, wincing at the light sneaking between your blinds. “morning, boyfriend.” his lips curve into a small smile, “morning, girlfriend.”
you sit up expectantly, wanting to start the day with all these ideas that have been blossoming since you started liking taehyun. things like making pancakes when he finally stayed long enough until the morning, or simpler ideas like struggling to leave the bed and being tugged back into his arms, “five more minutes…” tickling your nape as he nuzzles into you. 
your ideas start to dwindle when taehyun’s first course of action is to pick up his phone and look through his texts. you’re left blinking, confused by the nonchalance that clouded the air in your room. you should be used to this by now. the push and pull was always what made you come back to him anyway; but in your brain, after the intimacy of last night, you had hoped that taehyun’s hot-and-cold would begin to melt.
you don’t want to think about it. giving taehyun the benefit of the doubt is always easier than having to recode your mind to admitting that you just like him a lot more than he does you. you already have a boatload of excuses piled up from all the times you had to defend your crush on him from your friends; always something about “he’s never had a serious relationship, he doesn’t know!” or “he’s just not that kind of guy, y’know..”
instead, you’re pushing yourself out of bed, and that is thankfully enough for taehyun to look up in surprise.
“want pancakes for breakfast?” 
‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
you’re sitting in the back of his friend yeonjun’s car the next time taehyun invites you outside of your stay-at-home ‘dates’. 
you’re squished between two long-legged boys, soobin and kai, while beomgyu called dibs on the very back, using the excuse of “somebody needs to hold our shit from falling” as a guise for wanting to catch up on sleep. taehyun’s in front with yeonjun, chatting with a carefree smile.
that kind of smile was reserved for people you knew taehyun held no doubt for. the kind of people that taehyun’s already settled into and signed his lease. you’re a hostel in taehyun’s unknowing search for a home, you start to think.
but you’re young, and there’s plenty of time for renovations and renewals. maybe in a few months time, taehyun’s “nice” and “cute” will turn into “beautiful” and “kind-hearted.” in a few months time, you’ll be more than a place to lounge and leave; perhaps even earn his breathless laughs and sparkling eyes. 
today, your destination is a barred cliff overlooking the view of your hometown. beomgyu suggested watching the sundown before spring started, ever the romantic. he’s also the reason taehyun even bothered to bring you; the invite making you audibly gasp over the phone when he called, asking just half an hour before they were set to go. taehyun always did that — made plans and canceled; only to call you a few hours later, when the sinking feeling finally set in and you were ready to push it to the backburner, saying “i’m coming over.”
you’re leaning against the side of yeonjun’s car, taehyun on the edge of the hood and the rest of the boys scattered just around the front. by the time you’ve arrived, the chill of the upcoming night was beginning to creep up. 
kai picks up on how much you’re feeling the cold. your teeth are chattering, and your posture hunched into your own body, arms crossed and trying to keep yourself as warm as you could. he blinks at taehyun’s apathy. you’re right next to him, there is no way he couldn’t hear the way your teeth crash against one another, or the hisses you unconsciously spew. 
“dude, y/n looks like she’s dying.” kai finally speaks up, interrupting the flow of conversation between his friends.
all five turn to look at you. you feel like you’re being watched like a wild animal at the zoo, scowling at beomgyu’s laughter. his teasing begins, taking advantage of being on taehyun’s other side, sprawled on the hood. he pokes his friend’s forearms, “yeah, tyunnie, y/n looks like she’s dying. why don’t you go warm her up?” his mischievous antics have your heartbeat picking up. you don’t know whether to thank him or jump him.
you’re anxious, for some reason; but you’re also wide-eyed and expectant. you’ve been dating taehyun for a month now and his friends have been warming up to your relationship, though you can’t get beomgyu’s words out of your head — much like now. 
you recall it was at one of yeonjun’s parties.
beomgyu hovered around you and taehyun that night, tipsy for the first time in a while. the air was silent, each breath clinging onto the question that beomgyu spilled that night: 
“why don’t you ever do anything.. like.. couple-y with y/n? i swear- i’ve only seen you makeout. and that was before you even started dating!”
beomgyu always seemed to know the pain points of your sluggish relationship.
taehyun rolls his eyes at beomgyu’s jabs, though his smile reflects different from the snarky glint in his eyes. you don’t know what he’ll do. will he tug at your arm and pull you over his lap, wrap his arms around you? say “i’ll keep her warm, don’t worry.” and keep you close for the rest of the evening, until the stars wake from their slumber?
your arms are wide open for anything. any semblance of affection or care, anything to make you feel like taehyun isn’t just keeping you for the sake of avoiding being the primary source of your heartbreak. sometimes, it felt like he kept tabs on you like someone who had forgotten about a game they once liked, habitually coming back but never in the same intensity. you remember how he looked at you so hungrily the first time you met. you only ever get glimpses of his twinkling eyes when he has you under him.
your boyfriend shrugs his jacket off and pushes it in your direction, barely looking at your pitiful state. this time, even beomgyu knows to hold his tongue when you both share the same look of disappointment and confusion at taehyun’s frigidity. taehyun resumes his conversation with soobin, though the latter boy awkwardly smiles at you, dimples providing some comfort. 
“thanks,” you mutter, holding the jacket to your chest before slipping your arms through the sleeves. you don’t feel much warmer, even with the makeshift feeling of taehyun’s body heat radiating from the inside of his jacket, right on your bare skin. 
you’re not sure if it’s the wind that’s keeping you shivering, or the awful feeling that you’ve made the wrong choice.
‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
“why don’t we ever go on dates, taehyun?” you quiz, half-curious and half-unprepared for the answer you’re going to get. if you get to that point. but tonight, you’re determined to know.
it’s been four months since you and taehyun have started dating, and nothing much has changed from where you started. except for the fact that taehyun thinks he’s starting to get better at keeping you at bay; knowing the right words to say at the right time, being aware of your weak points and using his kisses as a way to sway your lips away from yet another important conversation.
“what do you mean, babe?” he only calls you that when he wants to shut you down. “we just had one. the movie marathon yesterday?” 
“no, i mean–” your voice is stuck in your throat. taehyun often has that effect on you. at first, starstruck from seeing him at a frat party; then, when he’s pushing your head down onto the pillow as you tremble beneath him; and now, too cowardly to know how he truly feels about you, but too fed-up not knowing.
“i mean outside dates,” you explain, fingers fiddling aimlessly with each other, trying your best to keep looking at taehyun. he’s sitting across from you, on your bed, again. this godforsaken place that started the turmoil in the first place. “we never do anything planned. we don’t even go out for anniversaries or anything, tyunnie.” you hope the nickname softens the blow.
“i just like being at home with you, love.” taehyun answers gently, like he knows he’s treading on dangerous grounds right now. he doesn’t want to hurt you, and he doesn’t want you blaming him for anything that happens once you’re just another travel stamp on his life; permanently a memory. 
despite his consistent nonchalance towards you, taehyun can admit to himself that not having you around would be odd. it would be inconvenient, would be the better word to describe it. your hopes of becoming more than “nice” and “cute” have transformed to something arguably worse; now, you’re “helpful” and “grounding.” 
he couldn’t survive without you, but not for the passionate, romantic reasons you long for. taehyun knows this; that he loves the familiarity of you more than he likes you. he likes the heat that radiates off your body more than your body itself; the habits you’ve grown into that he’s responsible for, like the pancakes you make every sunday morning or how you’re always prepared to run to him when he needs you. he doesn’t remember you calling for him like that (though he doesn’t know if he would drop anything as fast as you had done).
“taehyun.” 
“what..?”
“you don’t really mean that,” you shake your head, now unable to keep your eyes trained on him. you opt for the solid colour of your sheets.
“why are you.. doubting me?” 
“because you’re never here!” your voice is strained; you try to say it in some sort of yell, but it comes out as a desperate screech. “and i mean your mind. your heart. whatever the fuck it is. your body’s here, but you’re always drifting somewhere else!”
you keep going. your mouth is spilling words like a waterfall, the most you’ve ever truthfully said in taehyun’s presence. “you don’t even like being around me. you do just enough to keep us alive, and then you half-ass it until you have to fix it again. what– what kind of relationship is this?”
“babe, wait,” taehyun’s moved from his spot now, laying his palms flat on your shoulders and trying to ease your outburst. you’re starting to sob, hiccups replacing your words. “i-i’m sorry if i made you feel that way–”
“if?” you scoff, and taehyun is taken aback. you’ve been rather docile and forgiving for most of the time taehyun has known you, only ever yelling at beomgyu that one time. 
“i mean– i’m sorry that i made you feel that way, baby..” he soothes you, taking your hands and trying to get you close. 
“i think we should stop here.” your words are firm in spite of the trembles underneath. 
taehyun pauses. it’s the first time you’ve seen him display some sort of fear over you. 
“no, no, no,” he’s desperately clutching your hands to his chest, bringing your knuckles to his lips and pressing kisses to the back of your hand. “it’s only been a few months. i’m just going through something right now, baby. i promise.”
your courage only takes you so far, because you let taehyun toy with your hands, bring his face close enough to make you fluster and cave.
he puts your intertwined hands down, a thud against your unassuming mattress. taehyun’s saving face by pressing his forehead against yours, lips hovering over one another. “i’ll make it better. i’ll be better, i swear.”
so you do. you cave. 
when you feel his lips on yours, you know you’re doomed to unwrap the fabric and find you’re still bloodied; that your relationship is bound to break its fragile bones beyond repair. still, another empty kiss bandages over the scabs and wounds you’ve accumulated over the course of your ‘love’ and you make-believe that it isn’t too bad. not at all.
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actuallysaiyan · 6 months
Text
Kinktober Day 29: Daddy and Breeding(Am I good enough for you?)
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warnings/kinks: smut, mentions of drinking, daddy kink, breeding, unprotected sex, oral sex(fem receiving) word count: 1.1k pairings: Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader teaser: Kento smirks, “I always meant to start a family…with you.” taglist: @beneathstarryskies @loki-love @witchofcustom. @dreadsuitsamus. @pyrofanatic
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Losing Nanami was the worst thought you could ever imagine. But when he told you that he was leaving the sorcerer's life to try and salvage what normalcy he could, you were absolutely crushed. He was the man you loved the most, and though you utterly respected him, you wondered if he was making a huge mistake with leaving you and everything else behind.
After a few years, you did as you could to find a routine and to lead your life without your lover. Your feelings were still hurt and you were very much tender, but being able to train the newest batch of sorcerers made you proud. You were a good teacher and you found happiness by showing them the ropes.
You just never expected to be able to love again. Kento was your one and only, and you often thought about him. You even tried to track him down a few times, but you had to convince yourself otherwise. It would only lead to heartbreak.
The only thing that changed everything was when he returned to this life and to you. You were busy helping Gojo train his team and you took a liking to young Yuji. But you weren’t expecting the love of your life to be training the same young sorcerer.
You swore your heart stopped when you saw Kento for the first time in years. He was even more beautiful than the last time. Behind his glasses, you saw just how tired he was. Yet his eyes seemed to twinkle when he saw you again.
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“Didn’t think you were coming back,” you say to him, a soft smile on your face.
Kento smiles back, “Didn’t feel like I had much of a choice to come back. Satoru has been on my ass for so long about this.”
It doesn’t take long for the flame to be rekindled. Days upon days of spending time together gets you both reacquainted with one another. Kento is just as sweet and selfless as he’s always been. He’s falling in love with you even more now than he was back then. Now it’s different too. You’re both adults, both grown up…now is his chance to make a difference.
One night, he invites you over to his place. You happily accept, hoping to spend a little more alone time with your former lover. Once inside his apartment, you’re not at all surprised to find it so furnished in such a fancy way. He’s always been one to enjoy the classier things in life.
“I guess being a salaryman has been good to you,” you tease him softly.
He smirks as he passes you a glass of wine, “Yeah, it has. But it was difficult without someone to come home to.”
You two fall silent, unsure of where to take this conversation. He guides you to the couch and he begins putting on a record. It’s your favorite album. A soft smile spreads on your face. Kento sits next to you and you both begin to reminisce on the times before all of this.
“We were so young then…” Kento says, a smile on his face.
You laugh, “Yeah we were.”
You look into his eyes and all the things that made you so crazy for him come flooding back to you. You want to kiss him, but you’re so scared. You’re so worried he’ll reject you. Maybe he’s found a lover this time. You’d be left behind.
“There was always something I meant to do, but I never got a chance to.”
You cock an eyebrow, “What’s that?”
Kento smirks, “I always meant to start a family…with you.”
You barely have any time to consider his words before he’s kissing you with passion and love. His hands cup your face, pulling you closer. The two of you have so much left unsaid, but this kiss is all that’s needed to convey those emotions.
Kento is so quick to guide you into the bedroom, undressing you with haste. He needs to taste you and touch you and fuck you. He continues giving you those head-spinning and heart-stopping kisses. He picks you up, making you gasp at his strength.
“You’ve gotten a lot stronger,” you comment, your eyes glazed over with lust.
Kento laughs, “Oh there’s more to me that has changed since the last time you saw me.”
He throws you gently onto the bed, and quickly he crawls onto you. You pull him in for a fiery kiss, your tongues rolling together in such ecstasy. You tangle your fingers into his hair, pulling him even closer.
Once Kento has you both undressed, you swear you’ve never felt so aroused in your life. He looks into your eyes before he begins kissing down your body. He grunts when he spreads your legs and gets an eyeful of your perfect little cunt. He’s been waiting much too long for this moment.
The moment his tongue presses against your folds, you know you’re done for. You’ll never be able to love again. He’s the only person you’ll want for the rest of your existence. Kento feels exactly the same way about you.
He laps at you like a starved man, his expertise for the sexual act very apparent with each move he does. It’s like he knows how to work your body, and you squirm and writhe beneath him in utter ecstasy. He’s good to bring you to your peak almost three times before you’re begging him to fuck you.
“Yeah? Does my pretty little baby need daddy to fill her up?”
Your heart skips a beat. You never knew him to be so filthy like this. You nod your head frantically, hoping you’re able to convey just how needy you are for him.
“No,” Kento says before kissing you. “Need to hear it, baby. Need to hear it from your pretty lips.”
You moan, “Daddy, please…fill me up.”
He spreads your thighs even wider, and he teases you with the head of his thick cock. You’ve most definitely never had a lover as large as Kento. He’s the perfect man for you. A soft gasp escapes your lips as he slowly pushes into you, making you both begin panting once he’s bottoming out.
“I love you so much,” Kento pants as he begins to fuck you. “I shouldn’t have left you.”
You hush him gently, “It’s okay. You’re here with me now, daddy.”
Kento pulls your thighs up to his chest, placing your ankles on his shoulders. In this position, he’s reaching so deep inside of you. Kento looks deeply into your eyes.
“Gonna breed you so good,” he grunts. “You’re not leaving this room until you are pregnant.”
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sixosix · 6 days
Note
STOOPPP I LOVE THE CREATIVITY OF YOUR EVENT
ALSO. TURNING EIGHTEEN?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE 🎊🥳🎉🎈 AND CONGRATS ON 5K REEEEEEE YOU DESERVE EVERY LAST BIT OF SUPPORT !!!!
Can I request something with heizou with glasses as the object? Fluff, please, and I can't wait to see what you'll come up with for this event!!!!!!
wc 500, modern high school au; thank you so much!! :D YOU ARE SO SWEET!! i hope u enjoy this bc i recognize u as one of my loyal readers i gotta not disappoint!
5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST
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“How about you, bro? Do you have a crush on anyone in this room?”
Itto was looking at Heizou with wide eyes, expectant. You had no idea how free-time led straight to this conversation, but everyone was sharing their crushes in the other class or a whole school away. Most of the class was huddled together in a circle, watching the exchange with equal faces of amusement and anticipation. You sat on the same side but made yourself comfortable in a corner, swaddled in a brown cloud-patterned hoodie.
Heizou hummed thoughtfully, drawing it out as everyone else held their breath while you held in a laugh. “A crush? Why do you want to know?”
“Come on, dude, we all wanna know what Shikanoin Heizou’s type is! Right? Don’t we?” Itto grinned at the affirmative murmurs that erupted all around. Perhaps it was because, to them, Heizou was the most mysterious one of all—he knows everything about anyone, but it wasn’t the same when it came to him.
Heizou just laughed. Itto pouted, then whipped his head around to direct his attention to you.
Flinching under his fiery gaze, you demanded, “W-What?”
“You’re best bros with him, aren’t you? You gotta know what his type is! He never talks about the girls in our school!”
Well. It would be for the best if he didn’t. You shook your head and matched Heizou’s amused grin. “I don’t know, either, honestly. He’s probably too busy burying his face in mystery novels to care about all that.”
Itto visibly sagged. “Lame. You two are so lame! Well— what about you? Do you have a type?”
“Of course I do.” The class perked up, interested. They began piping up with a list of names and features—tall, serious, light-haired. Heizou was slowly getting more agitated by each feature that described his complete opposite. “I like smart guys.”
Itto nodded. “I guess you wouldn’t be able to resist me.”
You chuckled. “You got me right there.”
Heizou’s chair scraped the floor, followed by his light footsteps. You watched, heart racing, as he made his way towards you before pinning his arms on your desk.
“You never told me that,” Heizou said. “Have I told you my type?”
You grinned. “Do you even have one?”
Heizou drew closer. Your vision blurred, and you went cross-eyed trying to follow him. Lumine, who was sitting peacefully beside you, inched away.
“When they wear glasses—just like this one,” Heizou whispered, your lenses fogging a little from his breath.
Your face burned.
“Wait, what? What did he say? Did anyone catch that?” Itto huffed when no one did, in fact, hear that—which was for the best. They didn’t have to know how deep Heizou’s voice got as he stared right into your eyes.
“Well,” Heizou leaned back and smiled innocently at the class and a despaired Itto, “this was an enlightening conversation, but I realized I don’t actually know my best bud that well. You understand, right, Itto?”
Itto nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah—yes! I know, man, I get it. Real buds have serious conversations—I understand. You’re welcome for rekindling your friendship.”
“Thanks, man,” Heizou said distractedly, taking your hand and leading you out of the classroom.
“They’re such best buds,” Itto said, starting to cry.
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teamatsumu · 6 months
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Can I please request rekindling a relationship with ex-boyfriend Atsumu who is a total ass man? (He can't stop touching, fondling reader 's ass.)
one day. (miya atsumu x fem!reader)
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word count: 755
warnings: post-break up. sexual language but no explicit smut. swearing. osamu is there. slight angst if you squint. nsfw. mdni.
Taglist: @keiva1000
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Atsumu should have known that even after breaking up with you, your presence in his life would be inevitable. After all, you had been childhood friends, and while your relationship had soured and fizzled months ago, you were still very, very close to Osamu, and no beef with Atsumu could stop you from seeing his twin.
So Atsumu had gotten used to walking into Onigiri Miya and seeing you perched on a stool at the counter, deep in conversation with Osamu who was carefully shaping onigiri for you. You were just as much a fan of his brother’s food as he was, maybe an even more enthusiastic supporter. Osamu often called you his little “taste tester”, and Atsumu would make a sleazy joke in your ear about how he was your taste tester, in that he would bury his head between your thighs to taste y-
You would always smack him before he could finish.
Ah well, those days were long gone. You weren’t interested in anything he had to say anymore, which Atsumu thought was karma for the last few weeks of your relationship, when he had started missing all your calls, messages, dates. After the fight that led to your breakup, which was filled with your teary complaints about how he had no time for you at all, Atsumu wondered if his volleyball career just left no room for him to date. But then he would look at Meian, who had a whole wife, and think that maybe it was just him. He just didn’t know how to maintain a relationship.
That didn’t stop him from hesitating now, catching sight of you in conversation with his brother, your arms folded on the counter before you with your torso leaning forward, and Atsumu’s gaze was immediately beckoned down to your-
Fuck.
Those were his favorite pair of jeans on you.
You had gotten them when he took you birthday shopping, and Atsumu had been enamored with them the minute you tried them on. High waisted and tight, they hugged your ass deliciously, so much that Atsumu had insisted he buy them for you, later using that as an excuse to bend you over the nearest surface any time you wore them and having his way with you. This couldn’t be a coincidence now, why would you wear them today? To come to Onigiri Miya? Where you knew you would likely run into him? Atsumu’s jaw clenched at the thought and he stepped further into the shop, finally catching your and his brother’s attention.
“Finally. What’s the point of making ya fresh onigiri if ya won’t show up on time?” Osamu scowled at him, but Atsumu paid him no mind, catching your eye and giving you a smirk.
“Nice ass.” He quipped, making you roll your eyes and turn back to your own plate, but Atsumu caught the tips of your ears turning red, making him grin. Victory.
“You’re disgusting, Miya.” You replied, voice low before you took another bite. Atsumu settled into the stool next to you.
“Ya never minded that when we were datin’. In fact, I still remember the sweet sounds ya made-”
“Shut up.” You glared at him, while Osamu made a disgusted face, saying something along the lines of ‘not in front of the food’. Neither of you reacted too viscerally though. Atsumu’s foul language was nothing new. You might have broken up with him, but you both knew he still liked you, and he would never stop flirting. That was his way of saying he wasn’t giving up on you.
Deep down, Atsumu knew you liked it. So when Osamu turned his back to search for something behind him, Atsumu leaned close to you, lips brushing your ear.
“Why’d ya wear those jeans, doll? Temptin’ me to bend ya over this counter?”
You dug your elbow into his side to push him away a bit. “In your dreams.”
Atsumu hummed, no longer resisting the urge to reach down and give your ass an appreciative squeeze. You jumped a bit, turning to glare at him. “Ya really don’t wanna know what goes on in my dreams, sweetcheeks.”
You groaned and rolled your eyes, but Atsumu caught the corners of your lips, fighting to hold back a smile. He sighed as Osamu placed a plate of food in front of him, not bothering to bite back his own smile. You still loved him, deep down, Atsumu was sure, and he was determined to make you his again one day.
One day.
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