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hunnylagoon · 4 months

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Right Where You Left Me

Pt 3: Being So Normal

Ellie Williams x Reader

Horror pushes tears from my eyes as I uncover the corpses of your past relationships. Each of them dead and lifeless as the next. Because that is what you do, you ruin what is good and it makes me miss you less and less as everyday goes by.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends until you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find their way back to each other. On this night some questionable choices lead you to a vulnerable state where you run out of options.

Warnings: Angst / reader has religious issues / drinking / smoking / drugs

Part one here!

Part two here!

Part three here!

ELLIE

It wasn't as fun as I thought to watch you fall apart.

The morning after Christmas you left before I even woke, your makeshift bed made. You gathered all of the boxes of shit I collected off your dad's lawn and took off, leaving behind nothing more than a letter thanking my dad for his hospitality.

When I came back to Northridge a week later it was like I was looking at a new person.

Everything that had happened was swept under the rug, you lied and told the girls that you had a great Christmas. You started picking up overtime shifts, you were out more than you were at home.

I watch you stumble through the doors at five AM, makeup smeared, hair a mess and the fakest smile I have ever borne witness to, plastered across your face. You worked the closing shift almost every night and would go partying afterwards with your shitty co-workers who enabled this type of ruination.

I saw your stories too, shot after shot, In every single picture you nurse a drink in your hand or a cigarette wedged between your fingers. When did you even start smoking?

Abby and Cat didn't know just had bad you were but Dina was catching on. I remember how she would go out with you at the beginning, in her mind it had just been harmless fun until it was a nightly occurrence she started to get concerned.

It's like you've euthanized the person you used to be.

You can't even stand to be in a quiet room so you will it with nonsense conversation, hardly even words and laugh at your own jokes.

You used to glow. Back in middle school, you glowed like a candle that smelled of pumpkins and lattes, your love felt like sinking into a warm bath, comfort and security. In high school you glowed like the moon, no one could pry their wondering eyes away from your nerve-wracking beauty, gentle and empathetic.

Though now you do not glow, you burn. You burn like the end of a cigarette, the bud fluttering to the ground just to be crushed by the heel of muddy Converse. The spark of a lighter to ignite your stale menthol cigarette, slipped from bony fingers like clumsy matchsticks to the wilderness, to set what once was beautiful aflame.

Fire is only beautiful while it burns, I knew that soon you would smother yourself out to ashes.

I've been nourishing my withering body with 50-cent packets of ramen noodles.

I know that I'm not well, in fact, I think I've fallen off the rails.

When was the last time I got a full night of sleep? I'm not sure.

My days and nights bleed together and I can hardly differentiate the two. I hate everyone but I'm so starved for love I am searching everywhere for it, I look for it in dingy clubs and roadkill off the side of a highway, the bottom of a solo cup and the arms of one-night stands, I have even learned to lick it off silver knives. They have taken the rosery from my hand and replaced it with hard liquor.

I went out last night to forget like I do every single night. I look to the moon and pretend it is its being with thoughts and feelings, I act like I talk to it and it has said that it shines just for me.

Tonight, I will go out again. I smear glitter over my eyelids and slip into a silver sequin dress that doesn't even fall past my fingertips. I force my scabbed and bleeding feet into white stilettos that are sure to damage them even further. When I look in the mirror I feel a new sense of bitterness, like nicotine on the tip of my tongue, my face is thinning and my eyes are sunken in, dark bags hanging below the dull irisis. I cover it in concealer and bronze my face to help me look some sort of alive.

"Where are you going?" Dina asks me as I walk from my room and towards the front door, she has a tote bag packed up, her car keys in hand.

"The Monarch," I answer, it was a club on the main street, it tended to be the busiest also infamous for sketchy activity. My eyebrows furrow as I look at the tote bag in hand "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Jesse's for the night, " She says, tonight her hair is loose and falling over her shoulders "Are you sure you wanna go out tonight?"

I nod, suddenly feeling vulnerable in my choice of clothing "Yeah," Sensing her judgement, I'm already getting defensive "I'm in college, all I do and go to work and school-

"Who's fault is that?" Dina cuts me off and my words fail me, I don't know what to say. She looks at me with disappointment glinting in her dark eyes.

My phone dings and I check the notification "My ride is here."

"Don't stay out too late."

"I won't," We both know that I am lying.

I have been many things over the years, a pirate, a cowboy, a warrior; over the past five months alone I have been a lonely girl and a saint, now I am a drunk who drowns out her worries in vodka and overly sweet cocktails.

"To being young, dumb, and broke!" Kayla raises her shot, and the rest of the group does the same. The small glasses clink together, and some of the vodka spills before we all swallow them back and slam them back onto the bar.

The central focal point was the expansive dance floor, alive with bodies moving in rhythmic unison. Multicoloured strobe lights cut through the haze, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.

The bar, a gleaming expanse of polished metal, beckoned with the promise of libations. Bartenders, clad in stylish attire, skillfully craft cocktails. The mirrored backdrop reflected the kaleidoscope of lights and the animated conversations that unfolded in this hub of social convergence.

Overhead, suspended fixtures resembling metallic sculptures add to the overstimulation.

"Welcome back," The bartender, Mitch, smiles at me, I know him by name now that I've been bouncing around from club to club almost every night. "Long Island ice tea?" He asks, to which I respond with a nod. He's memorized my drink too.

Kayla is beside me while the others have dispersed to dance or converse, she sips a dirty martini. Her beautiful copper hair is styled into loose curls, she is clad in all black, a tube top, a mini skirt and tall boots as well as a slightly oversized leather jacket thrown overtop. She looks like the definition of a cool girl.

Everyone liked her.

"So how are things with the roommates?" She asks me, her green eyes piercing mine, she has a slight smile on her perfect lips.

"It's fine," I lied, again. I knew Dina was getting tired of taking care of me when I was too drunk to make my own way home, all of the girls that Ellie brought over hated me. I haven't been seeing much of Abby but Cat and I were actually good.

I can tell that Kayla doubts my words but she carries on to another topic "Are you ready to get fucked up tonight?"

"Yes, ma'am," I giggle. Around the curved bar, I see a woman, she's in a red top and black jeans, her hair in a mousy brown shag cut. Obviously, she caught my eye. "Do you think she's gay?"

Kayla discreetly turns to look at the woman, she turns back to me grinning "No shit."

The woman catches me staring at her and smiles at me, of course, she has perfectly straight white teeth and a pretty smile. I sheepishly smile back "Hey, Mitch?" I wait for the bartender to give me his attention "Two shots of Everclear?"

That's how the majority of my night plays out; I dance for a minute, swaying to- not really swaying, I was dancing in a way that became a hazard to those around me then return to the bar to down more drinks.

"Hey," I hear a voice beside me, it isn't one I recognize, and when I face it, I feel my heartbeat pick up. It was the woman I had been eyeing, now that she's this close I can see the freckles scattered on her face. "Do you wanna dance?"

I can't help when my face splits into a smile, "For sure," I slip off the barstool and follow her onto the dancefloor, the lights are orange and hazy or maybe the haziness is caused by my drunken state. The woman says something to me but it's drowned out by the overwhelmingly loud music "What?"

"I'm Karris," She repeats, smiling down at me.

"Cool!" I say. I followed Karris' lead with the dancing, she had a certain confidence in her.

I swayed with each ungraceful movement. Karris, the opposite of me is attuned to the music, moved with a confident fluidity that balanced out my careless stumbles. She laughs at my dancing "Here, I'll help you out." She shouts, trying to be heard over the Rhianna song blasting in my ears.

She comes up behind me, snaking her hands down my torso until they find a resting spot on my hips. With a firm grip, she slows me down, and now I'm moving with her, as one.

My sequin dress shimmered with every twist and move, like a mirrorball, I too might hang. As the light shifts I could've sworn I saw Ellie in the face of Karris.

I felt the liquor hit me all at once and my body became loose, melting into Karris, I'm almost limp against her touch. She's in front of me now and my arms are hooked around her neck while her slim hands lay on her midriff.

Her eyebrows furrow as she says something to me but once again it it lost in all of the noise, I just laugh, pretending like I heard what she was saying and hoping that it wasn't something about her dog dying.

The pop song changes into some song in French, I can't make out the words. Wait, I aced every French test in high school, I step away from Karris, squinting my eyes as I stand still in the middle of the dancefloor trying to process the lyrics.

Je veux te voir- I need you, no, that doesn't sound right. I want to see you, that's it.

je veux t'avoir- I want to hold you.

I want to hold you? Is that it? When did my French get so rough? I can't even think straight.

I swear on every god I was so drunk that I forgot I was in the middle of a dancefloor, it had slipped from my mind that I was dancing with someone, and all I could think about was my French classes from high school.

Age fifteen - Grade 10

The French lesson seemed to be even more boring than usual that day. Monsieur Cargin was babbling on and on about how there could be a room full of women but if there was one male rat you would refer to them using ils instead of elles. It was the same lesson I had learned every single year in French.

It took Monsieur Cargin thirty minutes to announce the project. "Pour ce devoir, vous écrirez une lettre à un camarade de classe sur vous-même, vous pourrez inclure des informations sur votre famille, vos passe-temps, vos sujets préférés et peut-être un bon souvenir. Si vous êtes ami avec votre partenaire, vous pouvez écrire avec lui sur quelque chose que vous attendez avec impatience. La lettre fera au minimum un paragraphe, je viserais plus haut si vous voulez une bonne note." Easy enough, a letter to a classmate about your self. "Avant de demander, vous pouvez choisir vos propres partenaires."

I look right over to Ellie from across the room after he mentions choosing our own partners, she doesn't meet my gaze though, she looks as lost as ever, rifling through some papers in her binder and I'm not even sure she understood a word of what the teacher said.

Monsieur Cargin lets us begin our project, everyone gets up from their seat to search for a partner; Ellie, seeing that everyone is standing up, gets up as well. I wave her down to my desk, she crouches beside it and asks "What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?"

I explain the project to her while she hangs off my desk and nods at everything I'm saying, giving me her full attention "Do you get it now?"

"Yes."

The next day we finished writing the letters and had to give them to each other before we turned it in, I gave Ellie my letter first.

Ellie,

Je suis heureux que nous soyons amis, non seulement parce que nos parents nous ont forcés à l'être, mais parce que tu es mon âme sœur dans chaque vie. J'aimerais te parler de moi, mais tu me connais déjà mieux que moi-même, alors je vais juste dire certaines choses que je sais sur toi. Vous avez lu chaque couverture de la bande dessinée Savage Starlight, plus d'une fois. Je sais que vous aimez faire du shopping dans la section hommes des magasins parce que vous pensez que c'est plus confortable même si vous finissez par ressembler à Adam Sandler. Vous détestez les mathématiques même si vous êtes vraiment bon dans ce domaine et vous aimez l'anglais même si vous détestez les études romanesques. Vous parlez à toute vitesse parce que vous avez tellement de choses à dire et pas assez de temps pour le dire, vous chantez comme une église avec une chorale et chaque fois que je vous vois entrer dans une pièce, je ne peux m'empêcher de sourire. J'ai hâte d'entrer à l'université, nous pouvons être colocataires et décorer la maison exactement comme nous le voulons, merci de toujours me supporter.

(Translation)

Ellie,

I'm glad that we're friends, not just because our parents forced us to be but because you are my soulmate in every single life. I would like to tell you about me, but you already know me better than I know myself so instead I will just say some things I know about you. You have read every Savage Starlight comic cover to cover, more than once. I know that you like to shop in the men's section at stores because you think it's more comfortable even if you end up looking like Adam Sandler. You hate math even though you are really good at it and you love English even though you hate novel studies. You talk at a mile a minute because you have so much to say and not enough time to say it, you sing like a church with a choir in it and every time I see you walk into a room I can't help but smile. I can't wait for college, we can be roommates and decorate the house exactly how we want it, thank you for always putting up with me.

I bent the rubric a little bit, talking about Ellie rather than myself but we were really getting graded on our French comprehension, not the subject matter of the letter. Ellie read it through, over and over, nodding her head along and pretending that it made perfect sense but I can tell by the way she squints her eyes and furrows her eyebrows that it doesn't make sense. She hand hers to me next, pride clear across her face.

Ton père est toujours en colère et je pense que c'est pour ça que nous sommes mariés. J'apprécie quand tu dors dans ma chambre et que nous nous battons avec des pistolets à eau. Mon film préféré à regarder est Star Wars, mais j'apprécie aussi Hunger Games parce que vous en êtes témoin. J'attends avec impatience une soirée cinéma ce vendredi avec vous. Tu es très cool, merci d'être mon ami.

(Translation)

Your dad is always mad and I think that is why we are married. I enjoy when you sleep at my room and we fight with guns of water. My favourite movie to watch is Star Wars but I also enjoy Hunger games because you witness it. I look forward to night movie this Friday because with you. You are very cool, thank for being my friend.

I can't help but giggle when I read it over, this causes panic in Ellie "Why are you laughing, what's wrong with it?"

"I love you but you are definitely failing."

I quickly helped her rewrite it before we turned it in, and she ended up getting a B with my revisions.

"Are you okay?" I hear Karris, she looks a little on edge, probably because I went nonverbal and froze for a solid minute or two.

"She's fine," Kayla puts her hands on either of my arms which are currently plastered to my side "I'm just gonna snag her for a minute if you don't mind." Kayla didn't wait for a response she was already dragging me away, guiding me through the sea of people and into the bathroom.

I always hated the bathroom here. The walls were black tile with white grout and there was graffiti all over the stalls and ceiling, apparently, it added to the effect, I just thought it was fugly; not to mention how dimly lit it was, there were red LED strips behind the mirrors but that was about the only light source. If you were trying to fix your eyeliner, you

"What is going on with you?" Kayla leans against the counter with the sinks, I'm right in front of her with my arms crossed.

"Nothing-

"I just saw you glitch in real life," She raises her eyebrows "You literally froze, I thought you were having a stroke."

I wipe some sweat off my brow "My head hurts," I mutter, I've already had too much to drink and we really hadn't been there that long. My thoughts didn't seem to process. Now keep in mind that I was so insanely plastered that night that I don't remember everything verbatim, I had to take others' words for what happened.

"Do you want an aspirin?" Kayla asks to which I nod and she begins digging through her purse, she pulls out a little bottle and I hear the rattling of pills. It's so dark that I can only make out the vague shape of the bottle. She places a little pill into my hand and gives me a half-drunk bottle of Fiji water in my free hand.

I don't need the water though, I dry swallow it.

She tucks the bottle back into her purse and feels something, I see her eyes go wide and that alone begins to stress me out. "What?" I ask, with no answer. She dumps her purse onto the counter behind her and turns on her phone flash to look at each item, she snatches a bottle of Tylenol and takes the cap off just for her hand to fly over her mouth. "Is something wrong?"

"I didn't give you aspirin," She's fighting back laughter but her dainty features are etched with concern.

"So?" I say, "It's just Tylenol, it won't kill me," My speech is slurred from the alcohol in my system.

"Honey, it's not Tylenol," She lowers her hand from her mouth, pressing her lips together tight. "It's MDMA."

"What?"

"Ecstasy," She corrects herself, making it easier for me to understand.

"WHAT?" My eyes go wide and my jaw drops "WHAT?" I repeat, running over to one of the nasty graffiti-covered stalls and kneeling in front of it, sticking my fingers down my throat to try and throw up to get it out of my system before it sets in. "Say something gross to make me throw up!"

"Uhh," Kayla stood behind me "Think of your dad getting off with your grandma!"

"EW!" I shout, turning to look at her with disgust on my face. "Why would you say that?"

"You told me to say something gross!"

"Not that!" I cry, slouching against the stall. I wish I had a time machine, I wouldn't just go back four hours, I would go back four years and make sure I play everything right. Maybe then I wouldn't be drunk and high in the bathroom of a dingy nightclub and I would still have Ellie.

"It's okay, honey, It's clean," Kayla walks closer to me, the heels of her boots clacking on the tile "I promise," She offers me a little rub on the shoulder "I promise I'll take good care of you tonight and make sure you're safe."

She was lying through her teeth, and just an hour later I was face down on the bar, lulling in and out of consciousness. That is the exact moment I started to think it wasn't clean like Kayla had said. My high didn't feel like what I was told rolling was like.

At first, I felt fine and then everything started to feel off. You know when you spin around a bunch super fast and your world spins under your feet? It was like that.

Before I retired to the bar, I tried to get back on the dancefloor just for my body to betray me and collapse onto the ground, people around me had stopped to watch me stagger back onto my feet and wordlessly stumble away.

After I lift my head off the spruce bartop and don't see Kayla anywhere in sight for the seventh time, I reach for my phone that I had stuffed into my bra and dial up Dina.

I hear the hum of the tone before it clicks and I hear her static voice on the other end. "Hello?" Her voice crackles.

"Dina, I'm on drugs."

"What?" I hear some shuffling in the background then what sounds like the click of a door "What drugs? are you okay?"

"I don't know," My voice drags out "Kayla took it out of her purse, said it was MMA and I'm not-" I hiccup "I'm not doing well."

"What the hell is MMA? Isn't that mixed martial arts?"

"Dina, I'm not doing martial arts, I'm doing drugs."

She sighs and I can feel her disappointment through the phone "Are you still at Monarch?"

"Yes."

"Hang on," Something shifts in the background.

"I'm kind of scared."

"Please just stay where you are-

"I love you, Dina."

"I lo- CLICK

My phone dies, and the screen turns black. I click some buttons for a moment to ensure that it's dead before I tuck it back into my bra and let myself lull back onto the bar, I rest my head on my arms and look at the displays of liquor surrounding me.

I lose track of the time that passes, in my head I am just about the win the 72nd Hunger Games, it's down to me and another tribute. There's an intense fight, I wind up underneath her and she presses a blade to my throat, I get a good look at her face and see Ellie but her face doesn't stay the same. It morphs through every version of her I had ever known. When we were seven, her grunge phase, when she let me do her makeup. This is when I give up, I know I don't have it in me to kill her so I lay limp and await my fate-

"Hey," A man sits next to me, his presence stood out effortlessly. With a strong, chiselled jawline and well-defined features, his face carried an air of that old-money elegance. His hazel eyes were softened by something (alcohol, probably), drawing others into their captivating gaze. Dark, tousled hair framed his face, adding an intriguing touch of ruggedness. He is clad in a white button-up and dress pants, I can well he's a blue-collar man just from the way he sits.

"What?" I squint my eyes at him.

"You're really pretty, I thought I would introduce myself," He smiles "I'm Emmet."

"Okay," I answer turning my attention to look ahead at the liquor display, watching the way the lights shone through them. Right now I don't care to make conversation, even if he looks like Henry Cavell, I'm fighting to stay awake.

One of his bulky hands reaches for my necklace, four of his fingers are beneath the cross, pressed against it while his thumb rubs it "You're religious."

I look down where he cradles my cross and try to jerk away but my body feels too heavy "Not anymore," I mutter. I put one of my hands over his to move it off me, he takes this as an invitation to hold my hand.

Emmet brings his head next to mine to whisper in my ear "So does that mean you're a good girl or a bad girl-

"It means she's leaving, actually," Ellie pushes him away abruptly, he looks taken aback while she doesn't give a shit. She begins to gingerly help me off the stool "Do you have everything?"

"Why are you here?" I ask "I called Abby."

"You called Dina and she's on the other side of town with her boyfriend so she sent me." Ellie slings one arm around me and I sink into her immediately.

"I hate you so much," I murmur under my breath.

"Yeah, I bet you do," She is gentle with me, she's treating me like I'm made of porcelain and I'll shatter at the slightest bit of harm.

Emmet looks crazily offended, his hands up in defence "Hey, we were having a conversation-

"Borderline harassment doesn't constitute a conversation." Ellie looks like she rolled out of bed, she is in her grey sweatpants and field hockey hoodie, her hair in the low ponytail she always wore to sleep. "Are you okay?" She asks, her tone shifting from harsh to soft.

"Mhm," I ball my fist up and rub my eye, smearing my mascara when I do so, I look down at my hand and see the remnants of my telescopic mascara and silver glitter smudged on it.

I am killing myself slowly and it is no crucifixion.

As Ellie helps me into the back seat of her car I feel like mold is growing on my bones just to way me down to the concrete where I will surely rot. "I don't write enough," I mumble "And I'm so lonely I'm searching for god everywhere but I can't find him."

Ellie gives me a little hum of acknowledgment her eyes briefly shooting to me in the rearview mirror before looking back to the road.

"Don't worry, I'm not in love with you anymore," I say nonchalantly as I'm sprawled out in her back seat, watching the light from neon signs pass us by.

"I didn't know you ever were." She says softly, hands on the steering wheel, she steals glances at me. The towering skyscrapers loomed like sentinels, their reflective glass surfaces capturing the myriad colours of neon signs that adorned the streets.

"I hate you," I add on. The mix of liquor and whatever drug Kayla gave me was doing me justice, I couldn't hold back any thought, they all fell from my lips in a jumbled mess. "I hope you die, I hope we both die." Ellie doesn't have anything to say to that. I think to myself that if I die in this moment, I would not be afraid, I would greet death like an old friend with a bright smile and warm hug. "I don't love anyone the way I love you," My head lulls against the window "And your girls, they all hate me."

"So which is it?" She asks, feeding into my tangent "Do you love me or do you hate me?"

"I-" I think about it for a brief moment "I hope if I killed myself everyone who was ever mean to me felt responsible." I look up slightly, using the car seats to help me steady myself "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you home," She says, biting the inside of her cheek "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for god to call me back."

I ramble on and on, it's a miracle that she didn't stop at the side of the road and dump me onto a curb. The traffic lights painted the road in hues of red and green, and the city lights flickered like stars, helping us find our way home.

"Ellie," I say, a building up ahead catches my eyes "Ellie, pull over!" She thinks I'm going to throw up so she pulls her gray sedan over, as swiftly as possible. I stumble out of the car, my stiletto heel catches the ground in a weird way, my ankle goes sideways and I fall with it.

"Shit," Ellie rushes from the driver's seat to help me sit up straight. I use her as support to pull myself off the concrete sidewalk completely and walk towards the church up ahead like a zombie "Where are you going?"

"To clean myself from sin," I approach the church and force the heavy doors open; I knew for a fact even in my state that this church had its chapel open twenty-four hours from all of the Google pins my mom sent me when I first moved here.

The chapel's interior was bathed in a soft, ethereal moonlight that filtered through stained glass windows, casting a kaleidoscope of colours upon the polished wooden pews below.

Smooth, cool stone formed the foundation of the chapel. The high, arched ceilings reached towards the heavens, adorned with wooden beams that seemed to cradle the sacred space below. The acoustics, shaped by the architecture, lent an echo to the moonlight whisper as if the very walls absorbed and magnified the prayers of the faithful.

Rows of meticulously arranged pews lined either side of a central aisle, leading towards the altar bathed in a soft glow. Carved with intricate detail, the altar served as the focal point, adorned with candles, floral arrangements, and sacred symbols. The air was scented with the subtle fragrance of incense, a sensory companion to the spiritual journey within.

Throughout the chapel, unlit candles are spread throughout. Above the altar, a crucifix hung solemnly, a symbol of sacrifice and redemption. Rays of moonlight seemed to converge upon it, imbuing the sacred symbol with a profound sense of grace.

I try to compose myself the way you would a song or a speech and fall to my knees before the altar, clasping my hands together tightly. "My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. I wake young but feel as though my bones have resided on this earth for centuries."

I am at his altar but I don't feel him around me, where is his steady hand which used to guide me?

My hands grasp together even tighter "I am filthy, I'm disgusting," I choke out "I'm all used up and I need you to help me get better," I break my hands away from their position to wipe my eyes free of any oncoming tears before putting them right back "Fill me with your purity, I will be waterboarded by your sacred hand until holy water leaks from my pores."

Ellie hangs around by the entrance, sketched out by not only the creepy church but also my off-putting behaviour. She flinches at every shadow she sees, believing it to be a homeless person who was residing there for the night. I'm kneeling over in my sequin dress, one of the straps slips down my shoulder and my dress rides up, this is the most sinful I have ever been, synthetic sunshine coursing through my system.

"Make me love myself so I have room to love you," I feel so repulsive and dirty, soap and water won't make me feel clean so I'll try bleach and matches instead "I ask for Your mercy and grace to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Create in me a clean heart, God, and renew a right spirit within me, return my family to my side."

I search for some sort of sign that he is watching over me.

Nothing.

No sign that he is here.

The priest at my old church in my hometown had said that without doubt there was no room for faith. It wasn't doubt, it was absolution, he is not here and so I unclasped my golden cross necklace and discarded it on the ground before the altar, never again will I be haunted by a man who has failed to ever show me mercy.

Ellie washes the grime off me with the detachable shower head. My hair is clipped up and I am hugging my knees, facing away from her in the bathtub. I feel a profound sense of shame and embarrassment all over again despite everything within me that is helping to take the edge off.

She holds the shower head but looks away to give me some false sense of dignity, I cried the whole way home from the church about being filthy but with how many times I had fallen over, she didn't want me to hit my head in the shower so we settled on this.

"I'm done," I mutter and right away Ellie turns the shower off and grabs my house robe from one of the hooks on the door, she holds it up and waits for me to stand, still averting her eyes. I stand slowly, gripping onto the rim of the tub for dear life. When I slip into it, Ellie helps me move out of the bathtub and into my bedroom.

She lifts me onto the bed and tucks me in beneath my satin duvet cover. Ellie leaves for a moment but when she returns she has a bowl in case I need to vomit, a class of water, a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of actual aspirin.

"Goodnight," She begins to shut the door but I stop her.

"Ellie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me?" My voice breaks as I say it "Just for tonight, I don't want to be alone." Wordlessly, she shuts the door and comes around the right side of my bed; Ellie is careful keep her distance from me but unlike Christmas, we face each other. "I don't hate you." I tell her because that is all I could recall saying in the car ride.

"I know."

"Do you hate me?"

"Of course not."

I don’t think I’m a whole person anymore, I think I’m made up from a dozen different perceptions of me. This version of me, born that night was anything but pure.

I am unlovely, so please, hold me gently and do not wreck me any further.

A/N: The drinking age in Canada is nineteen! They go to school in the true north strong and free. Also one more part left to go 👀

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@elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliesaesp @melanie-watermelon @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @skylerwhitwyo @lmaoo-spiderman @joliettes @kittnii @taylorgracies @sameenatruther @mikellie @belles-hell

Sorry if I missed anyone!

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steveharringtonat3am · 2 years

Text

Free use with Steve

kinktober masterlist!!

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: roomate!steve, free use agreement (fully consensual), an allusion to sex, hair pulling, degradation, a little bit of bondage, penetrative sex, edging

a/n: shoutout to the loml @ddejavvu for helping me out with some characterization!! dedicating this one to her as 1/2 of her birthday present!! <3

When I had first seen Steve’s ad for a roommate, I hadn’t paid any mind to the lack of a rent price in the ad. I figured he would let me know if he actually wanted me to move in. So after he showed me around and we talked for a bit about all the major stuff, I asked about it. And he gave the most intriguing answer I’ve ever heard.

“Well, I’m gonna offer you two options. You could pay half of the rent, so about $900 a month or…you could-could pay nothing.” This option seems to make him nervous, as he shifts slightly in his seat.

“Pay nothing?”

“See, that comes with a catch. If you choose to pay nothing then I would cover you and…you would have to return the favour.” A hint of red colours his cheeks. While I admit it suits him, it gives me a hint as to where this conversation is going.

“And how would I do that?”

“By being a-available at all times.” He smiles sheepishly and fiddles with his hoodie strings

“Available for…what exactly?”

“Sex.” When he says it I think I’ve misheard him. But…he couldn’t have said anything else. He takes my staring as a cue to explain further.

“Well…that sounds bad. You don’t have to have sex with me, especially not right away. And you’re perfectly welcome to pay your half of the rent and completely forget about this. But I like you. And my job is…pretty stressful. So if you would be okay with me relieving that stress with you, I’d be happy to cover the full rent.” He smiles softly and I take a second to process all this. I mean, I did think he was really cute. And definitely my type.

Also, I didn’t have many other options for an apartment. This place was in a good neighbourhood, I had my own bathroom, a nice kitchen, and plenty of natural light. I would be crazy to give that up. And I would be even crazier to give up living rent-free in exchange for having occasional sex with my very hot roommate.

“You know what? Sure. You’ve got a deal, Harrington. Just don’t be a perv.” His laugh is boyish, grinning as he sips his water.

“You’ve got my word.”

So, I moved in a week later. Frankly, it was a great deal. Steve was incredibly sweet and we ended up spending a lot of time together. Which of course, had its perks.

“Holy shit,” I whisper into the hot room, as Steve collapses next to me, panting.

“Holy shit is right. I figured it would take at least another month before we hooked up.” He smiles at me and I can’t help but return it.

“I really thought the only times we would do anything would be whenever you wanna take your stress out on me,” I say as he tugs me close, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head.

“Well, I had to give you a little preview of what you’re signing up for. Would hate to condemn you to mediocre sex.” He chuckles and I smile up at him.

“I don’t think anything about you is mediocre, Steve Harrington.”

After that, he really took advantage of our agreement. He started off slow, wandering hands when I was doing the dishes, gently groping me if I was near, a lewd comment every once in a while. Honestly, I liked it. It made me feel so wanted. I found myself craving every glance, comment, and touch.

When he finally upped the ante, bending me over the counter one night after dinner to fuck me with almost no warning, it was practically a dream come true.

And boy did Steve know it.

“Fucking stupid motherfuckers.” I hear Steve cursing under his breath as he slams the front door behind him. I pause my movie, turning to look at him. He’s toeing his shoes off, furiously tugging at his tie. I know how much he hated the thing. It represented everything he hated while working at his dad’s firm.

“Bad day?” I question, finally gaining his attention. The second his eyes focus on me, they darken.

“Mhm. Very…stressful.” He crosses the room quickly. His hand gently pushes my hair away from my face before gripping it tightly. Steve knows to grab at the base of the hairs, so it doesn’t hurt as much but I still wince.

“I-I can help with that?” I peer up at him and he breaks for a second, smiling fondly.

“You’re such a good girl…turn around?” He grips the fabric of his tie in his hands, making me grin and turn. The second I’m situated, he smacks me with it. It barely stings, but the surprise makes me yelp.

“Be quiet. Don’t wanna hear you.” He grips my wrists in one hand, wrapping his tie around them. This was not a new thing, so I don’t squirm. Steve enjoyed having my hands bound while he used me.

I try not to move as he tugs my pyjama pants down just enough to expose my ass. Luckily for him, it was laundry night so I had forgone panties.

“Such a slut.” He mumbles, ever a fan of degradation. His hand runs over the fat of my ass, squeezing the flesh appreciatively. He pulls away to undo his pants, the metal of his belt buckle clicking as he drops the leather to the floor. A small part of me is disappointed. I’d been hoping he’d spank me at least a few times. It always hurt so well.

I feel the head of his cock line up with my entrance and I bite my lip hard to keep from moaning.

“Fucking hell…” He curses as he starts pushing in. He goes slower than normal, maybe trying to make this last extra long. Steve was always a big fan of spending hours bringing both of us to the edge, just to stop so that we could do it all over again.

“Please…” I whisper before I can think. He stops and I tense, ready for him to spank me hard.

“I told you to be fucking quiet.” Before I can apologize, he slams into me. I gasp, barely able to catch my breath as he starts pounding into me.

“S-such a stupid toy.” He moans softly, nails digging into me. Moans continue to slip out of me as the head of his cock slams into that spot that makes me go crazy. He doesn’t bother reprimanding though, focusing on chasing his release.

“This pussy always feels so fucking good.” He groans. I can feel my orgasm building, the coil tightening with every deep thrust. I know Steve is on the edge, so I have to cum before he does. No way does he spend extra time on me now that I made noise.

“Shit!” He curses and I feel him cum. As his thrusts slow, my orgasm ebbs away. I whine weakly but he just chuckles and pulls out slowly. Cum slowly leaks out of me and runs down my thighs as Steve leans down to whisper in my ear.

“Don’t you know? Toys don’t get to cum.”

hope you enjoyed!!

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington smut #stranger things #stranger things smut #kinktober #kinktober 2022

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bangchansgirlsblog · 7 months

Text

Broken headsets

- Chan

Warning: A lot of Angst, slight violence?

Pairing: BangChan x reader.

Summary: where he snaps at you while working.

!Not proofread!

(This is just a trail story, I lost my first story that was actually good ☠️I’m probably going to delete this)

“Channie?” I call for him. My hands gently rubbing his back while playing with his hair. So soft and messy.

“Mhm” he replies softly. The sound of his fingers typing against the keyboard as his headsets sat around his neck. His brown curls fluffy and everywhere.

His silver hoops sitting perfectly on both his ears and his black shirt tight around his muscle making him look delicious.

“Baby you need to eat something. You’ve been on that computer ever since you got home.” I plead with him.

He needed to eat, he hadn’t eaten all day due to the busy schedule and lack of time on his plate. The mangers were on him 24/7 due to their comeback in a few weeks.

Comeback season meant no time for anything, no time for dates, no time for sitting around, no time for spending time with one another and I hated it. I hate it so much. It made me angry.

“Baby this is really important, I’ll be there in a second.” He quickly says not even bothering to look up.

“Chan you’ve been at it for the past 2 hours, you haven’t even looked at me.” I complain. Yes I wanted attention, shoot me!

“I’ll give you all the attention you want my love, just please let me finish this.”

Sadness fills my heart as I silently put the clothes inside the closet.

A ringing sound in my ear and a tight feeling in my throat.

I was trying not to cry. I refused to cry.

Chan was a workaholic, no doubt in that. His days consisted of waking up early in the morning to head to the JYP building and coming home very late only to do more work. Some nights he wouldn’t come home at all and he knew I didn’t like it so to make my happy, he sometimes would bring me with him to the studio but that was when he thought he wouldn’t be coming home.

Our conversations in the studio normally contained:

“Just 30 more minutes my love”

“I’m almost done”

“I promise this is the last thing.”

He loves his job and he puts 110% in it but that makes him lack in other areas. His health.

Some nights he doesn’t sleep, some days he forgets meals and other days his mental health is the worst but still he doesn’t care because he loves his Job. He loves the boys. He loves Stay.

“Fine.” I sigh. One minute meant 1 hours at this point. I quietly leave the room closing the door behind me. Leaving him in his little world.

The cold tiles sending a shiver up my spine as I walked down the corridor.

“What am I going to do with you Channie?” I whisper to myself while packing up the food.

The dishes in the sink waiting for me to touch them while the laundry basket sat in the living room waiting for me to fold the messy clothes in them.

The house was quiet. The A.C hitting my skin with cold air as I sit on the floor and start folding the clothes one by one.

Berry by my side watching me.

Our apartment wasn’t big but it was huge for two people.

Some days it was a real big hustle to keep everything clean especially when they boys stay over but other days it wasn’t hard to maintain with the help of Chan.

“What am I going to do with your dad Berry?” I sigh again looking at the dog who seemed to be care free.

I grabbed the last set of clothes and walked over to the room. Chan’s back facing me. Not even noticing me in the room.

“Baby..” I call for him as I set down the clothes and start to load them into the closet.

“What Y/n?” He says a little harsh. I roll my eyes, frustration starting to build in my chest but I decide to be the bigger person and ignore his little attitude.

“Baby do you know what we’ll be doing for our 2 year anniversary?” I asked him trying to atleast have a conversation with him.

“I don’t know Y/n. You deal with it I don’t have time. Just tell me how much it is and when it is.”

“When it is?” I ask him obviously taken back.

“Ugh I didn’t mean when it is, I mean when you wanna do it.” He quickly corrects himself and rubs his temples with his fingers.

“Atleast act like you care Chan.” I tell him honestly.

“I’m not starting an argument with you right now so please can I get back to my work?”

“Chan why are you being like this?” Ignoring his request I decide to push because honestly I was tired of it.

“I’m not acting like anything I just want to finish my work in peace.”

“Chan you’re acting so selfish right now!” I say now slightly raising my voice.

“Y/n” he says firm and glaring over at me. What’s the worse he could possibly do?

“Just listen-“ I beg before I’m cut off.

“Y/n i said leave me alone!” His voice booms and the sound of breaking glass fills the room. My body freezes. Hands shaking.

The now broken headsets and mirror laying on the ground.

“Did you just throw that at me?” I ask him in disbelief.

“Babe-“ his body was stood up now and he was reaching out for me. His face filled with panic and guilt.

“Don’t.” I say getting away from his touch. The clothes that were once folded no scattered on the ground. Words refusing to come out of my mouth until I force myself to get up from the floor.

“I-I’m going to leave…” I say softly. My heart hurt and I hope he knew that. I felt the tears that were all built up from frustration, anger and hurt all start to flow down my cheeks.

When would he realize that being with him was starting to slowly ruin me?

Pt 2 ⬇️

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missannwinchester · 1 month

Text

Good girl (Joel/Reader, nsfw)

Joel Miller/Reader

Rating: E

Summary: Joel’s friend invited him to his peaceful resort by the lake. His stay there turns out not as peaceful as Joel had hoped when it turns out he set his eyes on the only woman in the resort that should be off limits.

Warnings: super cheesy, all over the place, dad’s best friend, age difference, slightly rough sex, outdoor sex, nsfw, dirty talk

Joel drove through the forest, the asphalt road leading him straight to the resort. He took a sip of cold, gas station coffee, slowing down as the road became full of potholes. He could smell the fresh scent of pine trees as the wind flew into the car through open windows. Despite wearing sunglasses, Joel squinted each time the sun appeared between the trees. He was driving to his friend’s resort to spend one week in a place with small wooden cabins, a huge lake, boats for rent and no reception and he couldn’t be happier. He desperately needed vacation, and talking to another human being, who happened to be his old buddy, seemed like a dream.

He parked his car, drank the rest of the coffee and got out of the car, taking his black duffel bag from the backseat. He looked around and smiled at the trees swaying in the gentle wind and turned, facing the nearby lake, trying to adjust his eyes to the brightness of the sun dancing in its reflection. He stood like that for a while, inhaling the scent of the forest, before he decided to go check in. He headed for a cabin with a huge ‘reception desk’ banner and took his glasses off as soon as he went inside, standing face to face with the prettiest woman he saw in a while. Not that a hermit like him saw women often, but still.

“Hello,” she greeted him quite cheerfully, but she was clearly surprised to see him.

Joel smiled at her, almost automatically forgetting about his usually gruff demeanor towards new people.

“Hi,” he said, rather sheepishly.

If he had to speak from experience, clerks in places like that were usually awkward middle-aged men, scrawny college frat boys or older women who always flirted with him.

“Did you have a reservation?” She asked, suspecting he hadn’t.

“Uh, no,” he responded. “I was hoping you’d have free cabins by chance, I’d like to stay for a week,” he blurted out and looked into her bright, beautiful eyes. He didn’t mention that he had just talked to the owner of this place or that he was promised ‘the best cabin there was in the whole resort’.

“Lucky for you, there are two cabins available for one week, one right in front of us, by the parking lot and my personal favorite, hidden a little further behind the trees, right by the lake, but it’s got a con and it costs twice as much as the parking lot one,” she explained, not breaking eye contact, staring into his dark eyes with fascination.

This man was extremely handsome, well-built, very broad, and his eyes? His eyes were truly something else.

“I’ll take that personal favorite of yours,” he smiled and took out his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans, forced to stop staring at her for a while.

She took a piece of paper and bit her lips when she reached for a pencil.

“Is anyone joining you?”

“No,” he said, leaning against the counter as she wrote something down.

“Breakfast included? Costs just extra 4 dollars per day.”

“I think so,” he retorted and she wrote something down again.

“So, when do you want to check out? Wednesday next week?”

“That’s right,” he nodded and she took a calculator and told him the price.

“I need to take a look at your ID,” she said and he complied, giving her the document.

“Okay, welcome to the resort, Joel. That’s the key, and here’s a map you can use to find your cabin or,” she said, sliding the map and key across the counter, “or I could just walk you there,” she suggested trying to sound breezy.

See, she had always been a good girl. Sunday school, do as she was told, good girl. She went to a good school, met a good man, got a good job, rented a good apartment, lived a good life. A good school she didn’t choose, with a good man she didn’t love and a good job that made her want to die in a good apartment that didn’t feel like home.

“It’s a little far, that’s all and… all the trees look kinda the same, but… well, you have a map,” she babbled, trying not to sound stupid.

“I’ve never been good with maps,” he smiled at her before he took the map and purposefully looked at it upside down, making her chuckle.

“I better walk you then,” she told him.

They walked for about five minutes through the forest, avoiding the small, crowded beach by the lake. The path was very narrow so Joel walked a few steps behind her. She could almost feel his eyes on her tight jeans shorts and she took a mental note to check out his bottom as well.

“How far is the cabin exactly?” Joel asked curiously.

“A little further,” she said. “You know, if you could read that map you’d know it shows an estimated time that you need to get from your cabin to all the important places? Like the breakfast lounge, boat rental or the reception desk,” she told him and slowed down a little, as the path became wider and now he could walk beside her.

“Interesting,” he admitted and eyed the map, quickly reading details about breakfast and how long it takes to go to the restaurant. “So, are you needed at the reception desk or can you show me around?”

“I can, no one's scheduled to arrive today. You were lucky I was even there when you showed up,” she told him and smiled at him playfully.

“Lucky indeed,” he smiled. “When you’re not there, what do you do all day?” He wondered.

“Well… that’s your cabin,” she announced and gestured to the pretty little house. “And as for what I do, I guess I mostly sit on a pier,” she laughed and Joel looked at the map.

“16 minutes that way,” he said, pointing his finger at the forest.

“Wow, you got better at it so fast,” she joked, but then she bit her lip hesitantly. “Actually, this one is not on the map,” she confessed quietly, as if she was telling a secret.

“Oh,” Joel sounded intrigued and waited for her to elaborate.

“We could go there if…” she sighed.

“If?” He prompted.

“If you promise me you’ll never go there without me. It’s mine and mine only,” she said quite sternly, looking at him with confidence.

“I promise, scout’s honor,” he responded without hesitation.

“Alright. Go, leave your bag, I’ll wait,” she promised and Joel went to the cabin and tossed his duffel bag inside carelessly and almost ran back to her.

His heart had been fluttering ever since he saw her, he figured it would stop after a while, but it was probably gonna be a longer while.

Fifteen minutes later they were standing on a pier. It was surrounded by water and reeds.

“Isn’t it awesome? We can see the lake, but the lake can’t see us,” she said with a grin. “I love this place,” she told him.

“I can see why,” he muttered, taking a deep breath, looking at the beautiful landscape surrounding him.

“Tourists never come by here, they stick to the other side of the lake, so it’s very peaceful,” she told him.

“And the view’s nice,” he said, looking straight at her and she smiled, suddenly a little shy.

“Yeah, especially when you actually look at the view,” she blurted out, pointing at the lake.

“Well I don’t know, I like looking over here,” he confessed, his body turned towards her. “You’d make any view better,” he whispered, but gave her space in case he read the signals wrong.

She turned, facing him with a smile dancing on her lips. She took a tiny step forward, getting closer to him, but not closing the gap between them, leaving him some room to decide what to do next. He also stepped forward, now standing in her personal space, their bodies almost touching.

“Does this line always work?” She wondered out loud, looking up at his face.

“Well, it seems to be working this time,” he responded and reached out to grab her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers, his other hand touched her hair, which was as soft as he expected, tucking them behind her ear as she leaned into his touch making his boxers even tighter now than a second ago. “What about your line?”

“What do you mean?” She asked unsurely.

“About the secret pier?” He clarified. “About how no one can see us.”

Her free hand traveled up his chest to rest on his shoulder and she knew it would be a horrible time to mention that she had never done anything like this before, not on this pier, nor anywhere else. The only sex she had was with her lousy ex fiance and for that she should have got an award for the best actress in a live action short film because she always had to fake it. So here she was, having her very first summer fling with an older guy and she had never been so aroused in her whole life.

“Seems to be working this time,” she smiled.

Joel leaned down and kissed her, slowly but surely and she responded, parting her lips, letting his tongue slide in. He tasted like something sweet and vaguely familiar and she gasped softly as his tongue explored her mouth. His hands were on her back, pulling her close and hers were wrapped around his neck, fingers playing with hair at the back of his head. His lips left hers and she was disappointed for a second before she felt them on her neck.

“Are you gonna tell me your name?” He asked, focusing his actions on her jawline.

He frowned when she tensed, grabbing his T-shirt, lightly pushing him away, but not letting him go. She told him her name.

Her grip on his T-shirt was quite strong considering her size and Joel could see how aroused she was. She pulled him towards her and kissed him deeply, dominating the kiss. He pushed his leg between hers, his hand on her ass, pulling her closer to him. She grinded against him and he hummed when he pressed his erection at her hip. She gasped into his mouth and pulled at the waistband of his jeans. She had never felt like this before, like she could come right there, dry humping him.

Joel unbuckled his belt and took off his jeans as she did the same. Her shorts fell on the pier and she felt a little self conscious. She tugged at the waistband of his boxers, pulling him into a kiss, his hand immediately found their way to her ass, squeezing it and slapping it very, very lightly, just enough to make it bounce. She sucked on his neck for a while before she pushed his boxers down and felt his fingers sliding under the soft material of her panties, pushing them down her smooth legs. He brushed his finger against her wet folds, sliding it in slowly, his thumb on her clit. He finger fucked her slowly, adding another digit while kissing her shoulder. She moaned at the sensation and slid her hands under his T-shirt, exploring his back. She was on the edge, waiting for him to just lightly, lightly push her.

“Hop up?” He suggested, reading from her uncertain expression that she might have some doubts.

“Um… up… you mean…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you ride me, sweetheart,” he promised and she nodded, wrapping her hands around his neck, waiting for him to pick her up.

When he did, she squeezed him with her legs, kissing him and sucking on his lip. She noticed that he was insanely strong, it seemed like she didn’t weigh anything to him. One of his arms snuck under her leg and pushed her a little higher and the other positioned his cock right at her entrance. He supported her butt lightly, as she slowly lowered herself on his thick shaft. Her walls stretched around him and she let out a quiet moan when she heard him groan. She felt his eyes on her face and she looked at him, rolling her hips, making him gasp into her face. Encouraged by him, she started riding his cock, squeezing him tightly with her thighs. He dug his fingers into her hips, almost painfully as he grunted when she lowered herself again, but his touch quickly softened again. He was helping her up and down, but he had to stop himself from straight up ramming her down on him.

“You can hold me like before,” she whispered. “I like how strong you are,” she told him and she felt his fingers digging into her flesh greedily and she heard a low growl as he closed his eyes to prevent them from rolling back.

“You like it rough?” He guessed and she realized she does actually like it rough. “Fuck, you’re so damn sexy, he growled.”

His confession gave her a boost of confidence that she needed, their pace was now relentless, the soft moans she made were driving him crazy, he felt like he could explode any second. He knew she was close, because her whimpers were becoming louder with each roll of his hips. She was gripping his T-shirt tightly, holding onto him with shaky arms and she wondered how he could do it, standing so straight up. He broke the sloppy kiss and licked the side of her neck, then nibbled on it softly. She moaned, a little ashamed of herself as she had never actually moaned during sex before. Without thinking, Joel brushed his teeth against her skin, scratching it.

“Fuck, sorry,” he apologized quickly when her legs jerked around him, knowing it must have hurt and he leaned to to kiss that spot better, but she whimpered loudly and dug her fingernails into the back of his neck, making him think that he misread her reaction.

“Did you like it?” He asked, already sure what the answer would be when he felt her teeth brush against his skin shyly, not enough to even leave a mark.

He guessed it might have been her first time and he hummed, trying to encourage her to use her teeth.

“Yeah,” she moaned quietly in response and Joel felt her timidity.

He noticed that her confidence decreased the moment she took her pants off, but he didn’t mind, knowing that if this went well he would have more time to rock her world again during his stay.

“It’s okay sweetie, I like it too,” he assured her and did it again, letting his teeth leave a mark on her shoulder. “Do you like it when I talk?”

“I do,” she admitted, not slowing down.

“Fuck yes,” he groaned and found her lips and his tongue slid in to start a sloppy kiss.

She started panting and Joel leaned down again to bite and suck on her neck and the second his teeth pinched her neck she came with him buried deep inside her. Her walls pulsed around him and he came too, rolling his hips into her one last time. He held her through her orgasm as he focused on not letting his knees give out as he panted loudly. She stopped squeezing him and let go of his T-shirt as she hummed contently, kissing him on the neck, on the hickey she had left on his soft skin. He helped her off his cock and he carefully put her back on the pier. He kissed her softly, his tongue gently brushed her lip. She smiled and pulled her shirt down to make it a little longer. She looked around in the search for her underwear. Joel got the hint and found his boxers while she was busy putting on her shorts. He winked at her with a smile while putting on jeans and she smiled back, comforted by his face expression.

“It was… very nice to meet you, Joel,” she said.

“My pleasure,” he muttered under his breath.

He came to face her again and his eyes traveled down her neck where she had a red mark left by his teeth.

“Well, it seems like a good start of a mindblowing week,” he whispered hopefully and she looked at him finally, nodding her head. “We could do this again tomorrow.”

“You know where to find me,” she reminded him with a smile.

“Will you walk me to my cabin?” He asked.

“Totally,” she said and started walking awkwardly towards the forest.

It all happened so fast, she wasn’t even sure if it was real.

“Actually, I was… I was hoping to meet the guy who owns the place, would you tell him I checked in when he comes back?” Joel asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded, just then thinking of her father. “Can you maybe not mention to him the…”

“The warm welcome?” He chuckled. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“I’m actually kind of supposed to sit at the reception desk all the time,” she confessed. “If anyone asks, you got to your cabin all by yourself.”

“Sure thing,” he promised, not thinking much about it.

He leaned down and grabbed her butt. He gave it a firm squeeze and pushed her forward a little, and taking advantage of her initial shock, he kissed her passionately.

“I’ll find you tomorrow,” he promised and let her go, walking slowly towards the cabin.

“You better,” she muttered and bit her lip as she tilted her head, looking at his ass as he walked through the long grass.

A couple of hours later, she was sitting behind the reception desk, reading one of the old books she had found in one of the drawers. She turned the page, bored out of her mind and she glanced at her phone to see what time it was. She sighed loudly and threw the book at the counter. She got up from her seat and walked up to the window. She sighed one more time and pressed her forehead against the cold glass. Her dad was supposed to be at the resort in the evening and even though he hadn’t precised when, she was getting impatient. The reception was horrible so there was no use in even trying to call him. She locked up and headed towards the lake. The sun was setting, painting beautiful colors in the sky. She took her shoes off and walked into the lake, trying to ignore the screaming children who were running next to her. The water was quite cold, so she stopped after just a few steps, wiggling her toes in the sand. She could no longer see the sun as it hid behind the trees, but she enjoyed the colors dancing in the water. Despite the commotion, she heard a car engine and she turned her head to see her father’s truck on the rickety road. She walked out of the water slowly and picked up her shoes, walking lazily towards the parking lot. She saw her dad's silhouette from afar, she guessed he was holding something in his hand, probably his phone. He waved at someone and she heard his laugh. She smiled, glad that after all those years her dad was still excited to run the resort. The staff loved him and it was nice to watch as he joked around with them. Trying not to step on anything sharp barefoot, she walked slowly and carefully, avoiding the pine cones, but she was already right next to the parking lot. Involuntarily, her gaze followed her dad and that’s when she saw something strange. Her dad was hugging… Joel. Her dad was hugging Joel. She stopped and blinked a few times. Sure, she saw that guy one time, but she was certain that was him.

“You finally showed up man,” she heard her dad’s cheerful voice. “That calls for a celebration!”

“Definitely!” He responded and the men finally let go of each other. “I brought booze!” He said, handing his friend a paper bag.

“Let’s get you drunk like that time in Wichita!” Her dad cheered.

“I don’t remember ever being in Wichita,” Joel protested with a frown.

He turned around, motioning Joel to come with him and that’s when he saw his daughter and he greeted her with a smile.

“Hey,” he started, walking up to her, “that’s my old friend Joel, I met him way before I met you,” he laughed and she hoped she managed to hide how horrified she was.

She quickly glanced at Joel and for a second, his eyes met hers and he gulped, then, as if nothing happened he put a perfect poker face on.

“Joel, you must have met my daughter,” he said proudly. “Did she show you around?”

“She gave me a map,” Joel said quickly, faking a smile.

“That’s my girl!” His friend laughed. “Let’s go grab a bite, tomorrow I’m gonna take you fishing, Joel! See, we have this secret pier, it’s not on the map…”

The end

Thank you for reading :)

~Ann

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader

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sunnysidevans · 2 years

Text

If You Only Knew - J.Seresin

Synopsis: Everyone has a highschool sweetheart, Jake Seresin had his Top Gun sweetheart, the woman he was gonna marry. A night of anger pushes the two of you apart. If you only knew Jake just wanted three things, love, a family and you.

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Mitchell!Reader // Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Mitchell!Reader (plationic)

Warnings: 18+ , angst, mentions of death,mentions of miscarriage, mentions of violence, mentions of depression , soft Bradley & eventually soft Jake, fluff. Top gun spoilers(kinda).

authors notes: I just want to say, please read the warnings for this fic as there are mentions of things that could possibly be triggering. I also just hope everyone enjoys this as I have put alot into this fic. Happy Reading.

italics are flashbacks. - bold are text messages.

Friday night.

The day where everyone reflects on the week and try to forget about it. The Hard Deck swarmed with people wanting to unwind from their week whether it was good, bad or ugly. Friday nights also meant the bar swarmed with Naval Aviators.

They followed one another easily, it filled quickly. By the time you clocked in for your shift, the bar was now filled with all khakis. “Get your butt over here!” Penny yells with a grin, serving the man in front of her with a kind smile.

“Comin I’m comin!” you chuckle, pushing behind the bar with a smile. Turning in your spot, stopping at the man smiling at you.

“Dad?” he laughs, looking you over.

“Don’t look so surprised to see your father” he smirks, watching the smile that makes it's way onto your face. Turning back around, you reach down and grab a glass, filling it with his usual.

“I thought you were in the desert” you say, watching the foam in the glass. Setting down infront of him, he shrugs.

“Top gun calls, I answer” smirking with a shake of your head. “Uncle Ice calls, you answer” you chuckle as he nods. He watches Penny move around the bar. “Say something would you,” you laugh watching as he rolls his eyes, Penny making her way over to him. As the door continued opening with Aviators. None of them meant a thing.

As the two of them flirted back and forth, you sighed. Aviators always flirted, sending winks your way and extra tips to go the extra mile. None of them were him. Two years of you denying winks and throwing away napkins with phone numbers.

You hated that you let yourself fall under his spell. It was easy to, he was blonde, green eyed and smooth talking. You tried to fault yourself as it was something you grew up around. It would be obvious for you to go out with one, almost marry him.

“(Y/N)” looking up at the sound of your name, smiling over your shoulder at your father. Moving to stand beside Penny, she smirks. “Get him another beer would ya” she sends him a wink, walking to the other side of the bar. You smile, taking his glass. “You look lost” he says, watching your face as you shrug. “I feel lost,” you say, smiling at him and setting the glass in front of him.

“You saved yourself as your mother would say, never marry an aviator” you shrug. “But Aunt Carol and Uncle Goose were happy” he sighs, nodding. “I know, you had a better role model in them than us” he sighs, resting his hand on top of yours.

“It’s okay to be upset, but I also want you to know, it’s okay to move on” he nods. What your father wasn't saying was he knew that he was gonna be strolling in the door and your life anytime now. That he was also called back to Top Gun, along with your best friend. Looking up at the sound of the door opening, your breath catches in your throat.

Bradley Bradshaw stood in all his glory standing at the door aviators resting on his nose with the Hawaiian shirt loose on his body. “One second dad” you send him a smile, moving around the bar.

“Bradley!” he looks over at the sound of his name, a smile making its way on his face.

“Hey you” you're running to him, colliding with his body as he catches you. “Oh my god” you whisper, more to yourself than him as he grins. Bradley Bradshaw was the one man you could count on, minus your father.

“I missed you so much" you are hugging him tighter as he laughs. “I missed you too Dove” he squeezes your arms, pulling apart from you. “Wait” you say looking up at him. “Are you back at Top Gun?” you ask, hands resting on his arms. He nods, smiling at you. “I got called back just a few hours ago” he says.

There was never romantic feelings between the two of you. Just sibling love, you spent all your summers at the Bradshaw home while Goose and your father were on deployments.

“You are staying with me, no ifs ands or buts" you say with a smile. He laughs, nodding. “Okay, I’ll be over in a few hours'" you nod, looking him over. “Let me get you a beer'' He follows you to the bar, avoiding eye contact with your father completely. You never knew what happened between the two of them but chose to never intervene.

“A beer for you Lieutenant” you smile, setting the beer infront of him. “Go have fun” you shoo him off towards his friends. “Bradshaw, Is that you?” the female voice yells as you smile.

“Go” you encourage him. You missed the rest of the group coming in. You look over at your dad with a sad smile. His focus is back on Penny, who is smirking at him. Within seconds the bell is ringing and the bar is full of cheers. “Oh god” you laugh, looking at Penny and then back at him. “So, did you disrespect the Navy or put your phone” you look down at the phone in front of him “on the bar”.

He shakes his head with a smile, sipping from the beer he had in front of him quietly. Moving around the bar, you handed drinks out as quickly as they came once the bell rang, everyone came for refills.

“Penny my dear, I’ll have four more on the old timer”

Your blood ran cold. You knew that voice instantly. You kept your back turned, head down and out of his eyesight. “Sure Hangman” she smiles grabbing the four beers. She sees the tension in your shoulders choosing to ignore it as she sets the beers in front of him. “Thanks pops” he winks.

Jake Seresin knew exactly what he was doing. It was almost three years ago they sat at the same bar discussing the ring that sat against his chest.

“You want to marry my daughter?” Maverick asks, looking at the blonde aviator beside him. “I do” he nods his hands around his beer bottle, eyes focused on the condensation as it rolled down onto his palms. “Why?” he asks, watching the man's shoulders slouch.

“She’s the only woman who’s-who’s put up with my shit” he chuckles, looking over at him. Maverick smiles, “because she’s had to put up with mine for so long, she understands” he nods, reaching over to give his shoulder a squeeze.

“You love her?” Jake nods eagerly, looking over at the man beside him. “I love her so much sir” his voice is soft but your father hears him loud and clear. “Okay, then you can marry her” Jake can’t help the smile that makes its way to his lips. “Really?” Maverick laughs, “Really”.

“Penny, I-I’ll be back” your voice is soft, tossing the towel on to the bar. Pushing through the sea of people and through the kitchen doors. Bradley watches from his side of the bar, furrowing his brows.

“I’ll be right back” he cuts Phoenix off as he sets his pool stick in Bob’s hands. “Dove?” his voice is soft when he pushes through the doors, looking around the kitchen. “Bradley you can not be back here” your voice is soft, strained. He hears you sniffle.

Jake nods in Mavericks direction as a silent thank you, the two may not like the other but he was raised to be respectful. He makes his way back to his friends, Coyote notices his shift. “What is it?” he asks his best friend, taking the beer from his awaiting hands.

“Maverick is at the bar, bought our beers” he says, sipping his drink. “Like as in (Y/N)’s father?” he inquires, Jake nods. “Is she here?” Coyote asks, watching his best friend. “I think so, she loves this place” he says over the rim of his beer.

“Dove” Bradley whispers, looking down at you with his brown puppy dog eyes. “Why are you crying?” he asks, hands resting on your arms as he stands in front of you. Holding back another round of tears, you squeeze his arm gently.

“It’s nothing,” he shakes his head. “I saw the way your body reacted and the way you can’t even talk to me without crying” he reaches up, catching the stream of tears with his thumb. “It’s Hangman, what is he doing here?” you whisper, looking up at him. He nods, his mind going back to the last two years.

“I know, I swear I had no idea he would be here” you nod, looking at your best friend. He pulls you into his chest, giving your body an additional squeeze.

“Overboard, Overboard!” the bar crowd yelled, pulling you from Bradley’s arms. "Oh god” you sigh, pushing out the swinging kitchen doors. Jake hooks one arm under Mavericks armpits, Javy on the other. Watching the two of them with your hands on your hips and a shake of your head.

“Jake Seresin, get your hands off my father!” you yell over the chants.

It took a lot to strike fear in Jake Seresin but there were two people in the world who can make the hairs on his neck stand. His mother and you.

He turns around at the sound of your voice, arm dropping from Maverick's arm, “You too Javy,”. Making your way to the bar, looking at your dad. “Go home please” you whisper, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He nods, standing slowly.

“Come back and pay Penny tomorrow” you say as he is walking out the front door. Turning around, you face both men who stare at you dumbfounded. “Hi” Javy speaks first, looking at you with a side smile.

You had to admit, he was the nicer one of the pair. “Hi Javy'' you nod, sending him a soft smile. “What are you still doing here?” Jake asks, looking you over. You looked just as beautiful as you did when he left. “I work here dipshit” you look over at him, hands on your hips.

He nods, watching your face. “I-I expected you move on, somewhere far from Fightertown" he says. Javy takes that as his que to leave and makes his way back to the pool tables. “It’s nice to see you,” Jake says, looking at you with a smile. “I want to say the same Jake, I do”. He nods slowly, watching you. “Is it not?” he asks as he leans against the bar, you sigh. “No, it hurts me more to see you than it does to wish you weren’t here” you say, turning back to the bar with Penny.

The bar had finally cleared out , the last gentleman paying the last of his hefty bill. It left you and Penny in the empty bar. You tried to tell her you could close all on your own but she insisted. “Was it weird seeing him?” you ask, looking at her over your shoulder.

She has her back to you as she stacks chairs onto tables. “You know how I feel about your father (y/n)” you nod, biting your lip.

“I know, I just got a little worried I guess” you admit, setting the glass down and moving onto the next. “Why?” hands on her hips, she turns to face you. “I thought if seeing my dad again you’d let me go” you shrug, back still to her.

“Oh my gosh (y/n)” she’s moving to stand infront of you. “I love you and I love having you here so no, I’d never let my feelings for your dad dictate that” you nod, sending her a sad smile.

Her mother instincts kick in then, looking over your face. Still tear stained from the tears you tried so hard to hide from her. “What happened tonight?” she whispers, looking over your face.

“Jake Seresin happened” she furrows her brows, thinking back to the night. “Hangman is my ex-fiance” you say, looking back down at the glass, shining the same spot over and over. “What?” she asks, looking at you with wide eyes. “Jake and I were engaged about two years ago” her brain thinks back, nodding.

“I remember, he went overseas right?” you nod.

“I mean there was of course more to it but that was our breaking point” you say. “Seeing him brought back all those things again” you say, biting back the tears that made their way into your lash line. “Hey” she reaches over, hand resting on yours.

“If fate wanted it this way, then fate wanted it to be this way” she grins, giving your hand a squeeze. “I can’t get rid of your dad so I mean, that’s fate for us” you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face. “I know” nodding, you set the glass down.

The bar door opens and Penny turns to yell at whoever it was. Jake stands there with his hands at his sides, a shy smile on his lips. “Hangman, we’re closed” she puts a hand on her hip. “I know, I uh-” he rubs the back of his neck, biting his lip. He was nervous.

“I wanted to talk to (y/n)” he says. She looks over at you, a knowing look on her face as you shake your head. “I won't be far” she whispers, walking back to the kitchen. Jake makes his way to the bar, sitting in front of you. He watches as you continue shining the glass, avoiding his eye.

“Please look at me” his voice is soft, almost pleading. You look up from the glass, sighing. “What is it?” you ask, setting the glass down , resting your hands on your hips. “It really is nice to see you,” he says, looking over your face.

It’s then he notices the tear stains, as well as the way you continued to avoid his eye. “You look good” you say with a sad smile, looking over his face. You notice the crinkle in his eyes as his signature smirk makes itself known. “I know,” he admits, causing a soft chuckle to fall from your lips. “What do you want to talk about?” you ask. “I want to catch up,'' he adjusts on the stool.

“Maybe take you out to dinner?” he asks hesitantly as you sigh. “I don’t know Jake..” you whisper. “Please?” his eyes are pleading. If you only knew this was something he longed for.

The chance to see you again. The homecomings of everyone else getting to see their wives, remembering that it was almost the two of you.

He always kept your first homecoming in the back of his mind, everytime he flew.

You stood in the airport with a big neon pink sign. You knew it was cheesy and far from something your boyfriend wanted but you had to go big for him and his best friend’s return.

“WELCOME HOME LIEUTENANT’S!” The two men laugh as they come down the escalator. “That’s your girl” Javy whispers to his best friend as he laughs, nodding. “She is, I can’t say I’d trade her for the world” he smiles. Making their way to you, smiling. Dropping his bag, Jake catches your body as it collides with his, hugging him tightly as a koala would stick to a human.

With your legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, he can hear your sobs. “Sweetheart” his voice is soft, reserved for you and you only. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” you mumble as you're pulling away from his neck with a wide teary-eyed smile.

“God you look as good as you did when I sent you off” you grin, cupping his cheek. Javy scoffs beside him, shaking his head.

“Hi” you grin as Jake sets you to your feet, hugging Javy just as tightly. “Hi” he chuckles. Jake and Javy always knew you’d be there with awaiting arms to greet the both of them.

“Okay” your voice pulls him from his thoughts, looking back up at you. “I’ll text you?” he asks, biting his lip. “Sure” you nod, sending him a soft smile. He was shocked his number wasn’t deleted and blocked. “Are you gonna make it home safe?” he asks, standing from the stool. You nod, looking at him, “I will, Bradley is gonna pick me up” he nods slowly.

Bradley Bradshaw was a man of many things and he always managed to get under his skin. “Okay, let me know when you make it?” he asks in almost a whisper. You smile, Jake was a knight in shining armor, he wore his gear proudly to protect the ones he loved, you included. “I will Jake” he smiles, walking to the door, turning to face you one last time.

“Goodnight sweetheart" he smiles at the soft blush on your cheeks.

“Goodnight Jake” you send him a soft smile.

It was a week before you found out the reason they were brought back to Fightertown. They were pulled back to Top Gun for a special mission, a dangerous detachment that none of the pilots in your life could talk about.

You only knew the basics that it was dangerous and that someone could possibly not come back alive. Bradley sat across from you at the bar, a sad smile on his lips.

“He’s insufferable, how could you have possibly almost married him?” he asks, eyes landing on Hangman from over your shoulder. “He was very charming, '' you say, setting the new full beer bottle in front of him. “He’s gonna get someone killed if not himself” you nod, his words falling on deaf ears.

Jake Seresin held himself to a high standard, as soon as he joined the Navy he swore to himself that no one to ever see his flaws and to never let them see him fail.

“Sweetheart” you look up at the sound of his voice, looking at him over your shoulder with raised brows. He sends you the same smile that he always reserved for you, soft and full of love.

“What is a gorgeous thing like you doin back there servin beers?” Jake smiles at you, leaning his elbows on the bar. You turn to him with a raised brow, chuckling.

“Because some of us don’t fly planes for a living, '' you say with a chuckle, setting the fresh beer in front of him. His smile was wide and somehow soft. “How did you know I fly planes for a living?” he asks, his head tilting slightly.

You chuckle with a shake of your head, “I know your type plus I know what a pilot looks like '' looking him up and down you sigh. “And you fit the part,” you grin.

He stood in his civilian clothes, a pair of dark wash wrangler jeans and a simple dark green polo. “I’m at the Fighter Weapons School here on base” he says with a smirk, you laugh. “You are a Top Gun pilot?” you ask, his brows raise.

“You know about Top Gun?” he asks, your laugh continues. “My father graduated from Top Gun '' you say proudly. “My uncle runs the school” his eyes widened, “Iceman is your uncle?”. You nod, looking him up and down.

Jake Seresin knew at that moment, he’d marry the woman behind the bar.

“Same as always?” you ask. He nods, watching Rooster over your shoulder. The two men shared a similar look, both ready to pounce if one said the wrong thing. “Can you two not kill each other?” you ask, looking between the two of them. Setting the beer in front of Jake, you smile. “Here” his grin grows. “Thanks sweetheart” he winks, the blush makes its way to your cheeks.

You were his sweetheart, people had their highschool sweethearts, college sweethearts, you were Jake Seresin’s Top Gun sweetheart.

“Gross'' Bradley whispers more to himself as he sips his beer. You let out a heavy sigh. “He’s just being nice Brad” he rolls his eyes. “He wants you back, don't you know?” he says, looking at you.

“He’s gonna leave again Bradley and I’m not putting my heart through that. I’m here for when he returns to North Island and nothing more” you say with more bite behind your bark.

He holds his hands up in defense, “I’m sorry”. You shake your head, looking at him, “I know you don’t know exactly what happened but trust me, my heart can’t take that” he nods, watching the look on your face.

He didn’t miss the look of sadness that you quickly covered with a smile.

Locking the door behind yourself, you sigh. The Hard Deck never fails to tire you out but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

“Need a ride?” you jump, looking over your shoulder at the voice. Jake stood at the end of the Hard Deck stairs, leaning on the post. You sigh, shoving the keys back into your purse. “I can walk" you say, shoving your hands into your pockets.

“I just want to talk (y/n)” he says, looking you over. “I know, but I-I don’t know if I’m ready for that” it felt weird voicing your thoughts out loud. Jake nods, hands in his pockets. “I never meant for this to be how we turned out, '' he says.

The rain poured heavily outside. It continued to slam against the windows. “I am heading to Germany in literally two days time, are you serious?” his voice was sharp,his eyes even sharper as he looked at you. “Yes” you are looking up at the man infront of you.

“Yes Jake, I’m sorry that you are going to Germany and could possibly have a child by the time you come back! Whenever that could be!” you yell, standing your ground. A late period starting the whole argument.

“I can’t have a child (y/n), I can’t possibly go to Germany and know that's happening here!” he defends, hands on his hips. “Jake, I understand that but what about me?! You are leaving me here!” you defend as he shakes his head. “You know how I feel about children, how could you let this happen?” you scoff, looking at him.

“Me?! You are the one who can’t keep his hands to himself!” you yell back. The thunder outside was no louder than your thoughts. “Jake, it’s me, we're gonna get married and start a family” he scoffs.

“Did you cheat on me?” The silence could be cut with a dull knife.

“Excuse me?” you ask, looking him up and down. “Did you cheat on me? There's no way that it could possibly be mine” you laugh. You laugh in his face. “I can’t believe you” you shake your head and begin pacing the kitchen. He sighs, hands on his hips.

“I don’t think we should get married,” he says in a whisper.

“I mean, my career is taking off, I could land a captain spot anyday and I don’t think I need this tying me down” he doesn’t miss the softness in your voice. You nod, pulling the engagement ring off of your finger and shoving it in his hands.

“Get out” you shove past him, ignoring him and the thunder that boomed outside of your once loving home.

Within three days you were sitting empty on the bathroom floor, the pink stick held tightly in your hands as you saw the lines that confirmed your biggest fear.

You were pregnant.

The pouring rain felt good on your burning skin, you went to the once place you knew you could. Pounding on the door, you ignore the ache in your chest as you hold the stick tightly in your hands. “Oh my god” Sarah’s voice is soft as she takes you in.

Tears now running with the rain as you stood soaked on her doorstep. “I-Is uncle Ice here?” you're whimpering as she’s pulling you out of the cold. “Tom!” she yells for her husband who worked at his desk upstairs. “What is it sweetheart?” he stops at the top of the stairs as he takes in your state.

In the days of Tom Kazansky raising his own children, you meant as much to him as his oldest daugher. “(y/n)” he’s rushing down the steps, wrapping you in his arms. You sob into his hard chest as he nods to Sarah, “get me a towel”.

He ignores the pink stick in your hand, he ignores the voice in his head that urges him to call your father. Even though he was off on a detachment that sent him to a different side of the world.

“I’ve got you honey” he’s kissing your forehead gently, swaying your shaking body.

“Sweetheart, you with me?” his voice pulls you from your thoughts, looking up at him.

“Why didn’t you want a family with me?” you ask with a shakyness. “Why was I not enough to hold onto in Germany?” you're crying now. He’s taking the steps two at a time, making his way to you. “I should’ve never said those things to you” he says, stopping infront of you.

“I should have been honest with you and told you I didn’t think I was ready to be a father, a husband” he takes your hand. You shake your head, pulling your hand from his.

“I suffered alot while you were in Germany, I should not have gone through that alone and I did Jake '' you say, voice shaking. Stepping away from him, his face turns to confusion. “I took a test about three days after you left,” you say, hugging yourself as you turn away from him.

“It was positive,” you whisper. “I carried our babyboy for about two months, then I had a miscarriage” your voice shakes. “I suffered that loss with no one, not even my dad” you sigh, wiping your cheeks. “So I can’t just forgive you so easily Jake” turning to face him, his own tears began rolling down his cheeks.

"I had no idea if you were even alive” you say.

“I kept everything” he says, looking from your face to his shoes.

“What?” you ask, looking at him with furrowed brows. “If you only knew that I kept your letters, I kept your ring” he pulled the chain from his shirt, looking at you as the ring sat tucked between his dog tags.

“If you only knew that I couldn’t sleep for months on the carrier, Rooster had to listen to me toss and turn for days” he says, watching your face. “The only thing that got me through Germany was you” he looks away, letting his tears fall freely.

“You never mentioned our son in your letters” he says with his own voice breaking. “I know, I didn’t think you cared” the admission hit him harder than he wanted to admit.

“I did, I cared about you for so many years (y/n), I still care about you”.

The sound of gravel pulls the two of your eyes away from each other. Bradley climbed out of the Bronco, hands on his hips. “Hangman” his tone was defensive. “(y/n), you okay?” he asks, climbing the stairs.

“I’m okay Brad, I promise” you say with a smile. “I think we should talk about this another time” you say, looking at Hangman. “You have an important mission coming up, you gotta be on your game” walking past him, you pat his shoulder in support.

“(y/n)” his voice is pleading, looking at you. “I love you” shaking your head, you sigh. “Good luck Jake” you make your way down the steps and to the Bronco.

Jake can’t help the chill that runs down his spine at the daggers Rooster sent his way. He knew Bradley loved hard and if you hurt someone he loved, he came with a vengeance.

Bradley ignored the tears stained on your cheeks as he started the car, driving towards your shared apartment.

The apartment was a mess. Bradley couldn’t ignore the nag in the back of his mind, this wasn’t you. “Dove?” he asks through the apartment. He had no idea if you were even here. “Roos?” you try to stand from the bathroom floor, wiping your mouth with a towel.

He catches you before you can make it off the floor, looking you over. “Hi” your voice is hoarse from the last twenty minutes of vomiting.

You are sniffling as his brown eyes soften. “I-I’m sorry I wasn’t there-” he cuts you off, shaking his head. “What is going on?” he asks, moving into the bathroom dropping all of his bags at the door.

Shaking your head and holding your arms out to him, he helps you off the cold floor. “I missed you” you whisper, hugging him tightly. “I missed you too, now tell me what’s going on, are you sick?” he asks with worry in his voice. It’s then he notices the small bump.

“You're pregnant?” he asks as you nod slowly,looking up at him as the tears begin to cascade down your cheeks like a river.

“Dove?” you look over at the sound of Bradley's voice. “You okay?” he’s whispering, the Bronco now parked in the apartment parking lot. “No,” you admit, looking at him.

His eyes soften, he takes your state in then. “I told him” your voice breaks as you admit it, looking away from him as if he'd be disappointed in you. “I told him I lost our baby and-” its then a sob falls from your lips.

“Hey” he’s reaching over, taking your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay” he’s smiling sadly at you. “He told me he kept all my letters and-" you're hyperventilating now, looking at him.

“Why did he keep them if he didn’t love me enough to stay Roos?”

You ask and his heart breaks for you. “Let’s get you inside” he’s climbing out of the driver side, making his way to the passanger side. Your body falls into him as he helps you out. Scooping you up in his arms, he carries your body up five flights of stairs to the apartment the two of you were sharing.

By the time he makes his way to the front door, he notices your body had relaxed and your sobs quieted down, you had fallen asleep.

“Goodnight dove,” he lays you down and tucks the covers around your body, leaning down kissing your forehead gently.

He will be having a long conversation with Hangman tomorrow.

The California sun was hot. Beating down on the pilots as they dripped with sweat. Standing on the deck beside Penny, you grin. “Are you having fun eye-fucking my father?” you ask, startling her.

She drops the pen she was holding, looking up at you with a smile. Your face was swollen, she chose to ignore it.

“Maybe” she grins, looking back out at the game. Following her gaze, you smile at the pilots, missing the way the altercation on the sand looked nothing more than a simple game of football.

Rooster pushes Hangman as they both go for the ball, not missing the way he’s being a bit aggressive for a game of football.

“What the fuck Bradshaw!” he’s yelling, standing from the sand, looking at the mustached man. “Really?!” he throws his hands up. “How does it feel to be pushed around Hagman!” He points at Jake, standing taller than the blonde aviator.

“Excuse me?” Jake tries sizing him up, looking up at Rooster.

“You came back here and broke her heart all over again, Hangman” he pushes Jake's chest. The man stumbled slightly, and then he laughs, Jake Seresin laughs in his face.

“That has nothing to do with you” Rooster shakes his head, his own sinister laugh. “It does when I’ve picked up the pieces more times than you have! You know what she asked me? She asked me why you didn’t love her enough to stay and truly I think we’re all waiting for that answer!” he yells, and before he knows it, his fist is connecting with Jake’s jaw.

“That’s for my sister you fucker!” he yells as Maverick is between the two of them, pushing their chests away from the other.

“What is going on?!” Maverick yells, looking between the two panting men. “Hangman is a worthless excuse for a man” he pants, seething as Phoenix holds him back.

“What is he talking about?” he asks the blonde. You stand on the steps watching them, quickly making your way down the sand. as soon as you noticed Rooster swing. “What is going on?” you ask, standing behind the group.

“Jake was finally gonna tell us what happened” Rooster pants, his hand gripping phoenix's comfortingly. “How he got you pregnant and left you picking up the pieces all alone” he spits “living up to your call-sign aren't ya?”.

Maverick looks between the pilots, then back at you. The color in your face is gone.

“Is that true?” Maverick asks, looking between you and then back at Jake. His green eyes meet yours, then looking back at your fathers. “Yes” his voice is hoarse. His jaw is sore but he knows it doesn’t compare to the pain you've felt.

“That’s how our engagement ended, but Bradley” you look over at him, his eyes softening. “There was no need for you to air out Jake and I’s dirty laundry” you snarl. You meet your dad’s softening eyes, “you are all dismissed” he says.

He makes his way beside you, wrapping you in his arms. “When did this happen?” he whispers as the group makes their way up to The Hard Deck.

“You were in the desert, about two years ago, I went to Uncle Ice” you whisper, hugging him just as tight. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he admits. You shake your head against his chest, squeezing him. "It's not your fault dad” he kisses the top of your head, mumbling against your hairline. “I will make him do extra training,extra push ups if I don’t kill him first” he smiles as you chuckle.

“I’ll have a beer Penny” Jake’s voice is soft as she sends him a glare. She never was one to discriminate against a customer but she knew your pain. She went through almost the same pain with your father. “I should kick you out of my bar” she seeths, setting the bottle down in front of him, “but I won't because I know that’s not what she would want” he nods with a sigh.

“I really do love her Penny” he looks up at the woman, who shakes her head. “You need to prove it, Hangman” she makes her way over to Bradley with a smile.

“I’m sorry for causing a scene” he apologies to Penny as she shakes her head. “You are just being a big brother, I understand” she smiles giving him the opened beer.

“What the hell man?” Coyote sits beside his best friend, looking over his face. “I know” he admits, setting the bottle down, letting the amber liquid run down his throat. “I’m not proud of it,” he says, looking over at Coyote. “I told her I didn’t want a family, I-I accused her of cheating on me. I told her my career was more impaortant than a family” he scoffs at himself, “sick”. He sips the beer again.

“You need to fix this man,” he says to his best friend. Jake nods, looking out at the beach at you and Maverick, talking and hugging. He knew the rocky relationship the two of you had. “I know”.

Maverick stood at the door, he hated having to do this. He watched as you and Penny danced around the other, Bradley stood beside him. You stood at the bar standing beside Penny,looking between your father and Bradley, they stood dressed in their whites.

“The mission got moved up” Maverick says, his eyes falling to Penny with sympathy. “Go” you whisper to her, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze as the two of them go outside.

“Dove” looking up at the sound of Rooster’s voice. You tried to wrap your head around the timing.

A week ago, Jake was walking back into your life as well as Bradley and your father, now they were leaving again. Four days ago you finally told the love of your life the two years of hell you went through without him.

Now, they are leaving. “I think you should talk to Hangman” your eyes snap up to his brown ones, they held sympathy. “Why?” you ask, looking him up and down. He looked just like his father.

“We may not come back from this,” he says. “You better come back from this Bradshaw” you didn’t mean for it to come out so mean. He laughs with a nod, he knows you didn't mean it. “I will do my best, I got my girls to think about” he smiles at the smile on your face. He meets you halfway around the bar, wrapping you in a tight hug.

“I love you, Dove” he whispers as you squeeze him tighter. “I love you too, Rooster”. After a tearful goodbye with your father between both you and Penny, you reach for your phone.

Jake's phone pulls him from his thoughts, looking down at the message across the screen.

Sweetheart: I need to see you.

His heart sank as another followed,

Sweetheart: meet me at the hard deck in 15?.

You were nervous, chewing on your lip as you looked at Penny. “Bradley is right, you need to talk to him” she smiles as you nod, looking down at your phone.

Read: 9:45pm.

You scoff, shoving the phone back into your pocket. Twenty minutes later you find yourself sitting on the sand. Penny shoved you out the door to take a break. “I thought I’d find you out here” turning around, you meet Jake dressed in his whites, hat in hand. You stand, looking him over, he smiles shyly.

“I need to say a few things” you say, looking over his face as he nods. “Go ahead” he says, moving to stand in front of you. “I-I still love you, I know seeing you has brought these things to the surface that I thought I could avoid” you avoid his eye as you continue.

“The things you said to me two years ago and then the way you act now, I-I want to forgive you” you look up at him, his eyes sharing a similar hopefulness. "I don't want to love another human being as much as I love you." Your voice shakes as you continue, "I don't want to give my heart to a stranger all over again" looking over his face, his eyes were so full of love, love you hadn't seen in years.

“I don’t want you to go on the mission thinking about me and your mistakes and-” he cuts you off then, his lips meeting yours for the first time in three years. It takes you a minute to catch up and when you do, you are pulling him by his jacket closer to you.

“I think about you every time I fly, I have since the day I walked into that bar” he whispers against your lips, nudging your nose with his. “But since the day I went overseas, I’ve held you closer to my heart” he admits. “If you only knew how much I love you” he says as his breath fans over your face.

“If you only knew that I kept everything, every photo, every text message, every letter and your goddamn ring, I kept the key to the apartment” he rambles, hand falling to yours.

“It’s always going to be you (y/n) Mitchell” he looks over your face.

“I can’t sleep without you, my bed is cold, I don't think I've had a good night’s sleep in two years” he chuckles as you sniffle.

“Make it back to me in one piece okay?” you whisper, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. He cups your cheeks, his calloused thumb catches the tears, a teary smile on both of your faces.

“Sweetheart, I would swim oceans and crawl through fire to get back to you, you breathe life into me” he smiles at the small smile on your lips.

“Go in open minded, don’t think about me, don’t think about the past, don’t think about anything but protecting yourself” he nods, smiling down at you. “Maverick and Rooster too” he adds with a wink.

You knew deep down they were all fond of the other, they would never admit it though. “I want you waiting for me” he grins, leaning down to connect your lips again.

“You got it” you agree, kissing him as if he’d slip from your fingers and you’d wake up from this dream.

Jake made his way on the tarmac to the two people he dreaded having to talk to. Phoenix, Bradley and Maverick stood around the plane, stopping their conversation at the sight of the blonde.

He gulps, looking between them all. “Rooster” he nods, looking him up and down as Bradley excuses himself from the two.

“What is it Hangman?” he asks, adjusting the aviators on his nose.

“Thank you” Roosters furrows his brows as he looks the man up and down. He never expected Hangman to be thanking him. “You showed me I was not worthy of a woman like (y/n)." He looks over Bradleys face as he continues.

"I know that now and I now am gonna strive to be the man she deserves, the one she was gonna marry those years ago” he nods, Bradley can’t help but puff out his chest. He was protective of you.

“And thank you for convincing her to talk to me, I don’t think I could fly this mission with the thought of never seeing her again” his voice is soft as he makes the admission to the one person he never expected.

“Lastly” he looks up at Rooster with his signature Hangman smirk, “give em hell”.

It had been two days. You heard radio silence from every party. Checking in with Penny to see if she heard nothing, she was as in the dark as you were. No one knew if the mission was a success.

You threw yourself into work to keep your mind off it. “Penny!” you yell, pushing out of the kitchen doors with a case of beers in your arms.

“I mean I’m not penny but, will I surfice?” you turn at the sound of your fathers voice, gasping. “Dad!” you shove the case onto the table running into his awaiting open arms. “Hi sweetheart” he smiles, giving you a squeeze. “Are you okay?” you gasp, pulling away from his chest to look him over. He chuckles, looking down at you with a smile.

“I’m fine” he grins, rubbing your back. “C’mon I have something to show you” he smiles, leading you out the front door of the Hard Deck. He couldn’t believe the boys put him up to this.

The blue Bronco came speeding down the road.

The speakers loudly played Take My Breath Away as the cheers of the Aviators could be heard miles away. Standing on the back of the Bronco stood Jake Seresin still dressed in his flight suit, singing loudly as he got closer to the hard deck.

“My Love, Take My Breath Away!” he grins, watching the smile on your face.

Bradley smirks as he parks the bronco. You laugh, running down the steps quickly. Jake jumped from the back of the Bronco, catching your body as it collides with his.

“Sweetheart” he laughs, hugging you tight. Just like when he came home from his first deployment, you clung to him like a koala, sobbing into his shoulder.

Jake Seresin was a simple man, he wanted three things in life, love, a wife and a family.

And here he was holding his world in his arms again, building his family piece by piece.

“I’m here” he whispers, fingers tangling in your hair as you sob. “Oh my god you idiot” you laugh between sobs, pulling away to kiss him as if he’d fade away from your arms. The kiss was sloppy but full of love.

“If you only knew how much I love you” he whispers once the two of you part, you sniffle with a smile.

“I may have a little bit of an idea” you laugh, kissing him again.

if you enjoyed this fic, you can find all of my other work in the library, here <-

if you would like to listen to the song this fic is based on, you can find that here <-

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bradshawssugarbaby · 5 months

Text

Home For Christmas - Jake Seresin x OC

A/N: This is my entry for @bellaireland1981's Winter RomCom Writing Challenge, with the trope childhood friends. I was watching a lot of romcoms last night and felt inspired, it's definitely heavily influenced by 13 Going on 30, Just Friends + Sweet Home Alabama. (I realize only one of those is set in the winter, but I digress). I'm debating a part two/epilogue as well, if anyone is interested! Also super proud of this one, because it's the longest fic I've ever written.

pairing: Jake Seresin x OC

warnings/content: none, lots of fluff and pining. Jake's been promoted to Captain. Probably a lot of inaccuracies.

word count: 7.7k (literally my longest one yet, I'm sorry)

tagging anyone who might be interested: @littleenglishfangirl, @floydsmuse, @sailor-aviator, @mamachasesmayhem 🤍

December, 1999

“Jake! Jake, wait up!”

“Run faster then, I gotta get home before the street lights come on or my mama’s gonna be so mad she won’t let you come over tomorrow!”

“Jake, your mama’s not gonna say no to me comin’ over and you know it.”

“Jenna, how you ever gonna keep up with me when I join the navy and start having to run a few miles every day?”

Jake turned around to face you for a moment, running backwards with a grin plastered on his face, his baby-faced cheeks red from the cold, his green eyes full of mischief as he watched you try and keep up with him. His sandy blonde hair stuck out slightly from underneath his Dallas Cowboys baseball cap, a handmedown from his older brother that he rarely left home without since Matt had given it to him. He stopped running, placing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, the cold air stinging his throat as he panted. You finally managed to close the distance between the two of you, raising an eyebrow as you panted, your own cheeks ruddy from the combination of cold winter air and physical activity.

You and Jake had been best friends as long as you could remember. In eleven years, you couldn’t name a single time where the two of you had as much as had a disagreement, or went more than a few hours without talking to one another. Your mothers had been best friends in high school, and you two were destined to be best friends since birth - born four days apart in the same hospital, living on the same street and having your first play date at 10 and 7 days old. Jake was four days older than you, and he never let you forget it when it came to matters where age or maturity played a role. However, where Jake had four days more experience in the world, you had multitudes more experience in dealing with hardship than any eleven-year-old child should have.

Where Jake had the picture-perfect family - a mom, a dad, an older sister, an older brother and him, all living in perfect harmonious happiness, never as much as a doubt as to whether or not there was love in his household, you had the opposite. An absent father, an only child, and a mother who worked two jobs to try and make life better for the two of you, you spent almost every waking minute with Jake and his family, not only as an escape to experience the happy, blissfully carefree life he lived, but also, as a favour to your mother, with Mrs. Seresin often volunteering to care for you when your mother had to work late or work on weekends.

You were at the Seresin home almost every night, with Jake’s mother fussing over her best friend’s daughter, helping her lifelong friend however she could in guiding her little girl, you acting as the surrogate daughter that part of her had always wanted. Jake’s father trying to fill in the blanks where your father had lacked - offering to coach sports teams and including you in games of catch with Jake and his brother, taking you and the boys to get new baseball gloves or soccer cleats when needed, taking the three of you for ice cream after a big achievement in life. Jake’s 16 year old sister, Bethany, would take time to do your hair in the mornings before school whenever she had a chance, offering to do it in all the fun styles she and her friends wore, the kind you were often envious of, passing you old tubes of lip gloss she had lingering around in her backpack on your way to school, encouraging you to use them to your hearts content. Even Matt, who at 14, thought his brother and his brother’s friends were the most irritating beings in existence, had offered you old sports jerseys of his that no longer fit, teasing you the same way he’d tease Jake, treating you like the little sister he never had.

Until this past summer, you found yourself wishing most days that Jake’s family would just adopt you, let your mother move in with them and the two of you could just officially be a part of their fun, bustling family that served as your cheerful escape from life. However, when elementary school ended in June with middle school looming around the corner, Bethany had pulled you aside to talk to you about the transition between schools.

“You know, middle school is…different. It’s not bad. It’s just…things change sometimes. You and Jake might start going on dates with people from school, and it might change your relationship. It happens,” She’d said matter of factly, not mincing words as she shrugged her shoulders, fixing her frosted eyeshadow in the mirror before turning to face you again.

“You might even develop feelings for each other.”

At the time, her words didn’t hold meaning for you. You and Jake had been best friends since Jake was four days old. Your moms were best friends. You practically lived in their home. There was no way things could change between you. You could never have a crush on Jake. He was Jake, the boy who would hide under his mama’s kitchen table with you and a flashlight, swapping baseball cards with one another, the boy who, when you were six-years-old, you’d witnessed eat an entire package of Oreos, then laughed at as he proceeded to throw up an hour later from the sheer volume of chocolate-vanilla sandwich cookies he’d consumed that day. Jake could never be someone you’d have a crush on. He was your best friend. That would never change.

It was two weeks later when Jake had been on the baseball diamond, pitching an inning of Little League with you in the stands watching on. His baseball cap had been flipped backwards to mimic one of his favourite major league players, his green eyes narrowing in concentration with every pitch he threw out. His golden blonde hair poked out the front of his baseball cap, much like it was doing today, on this cold January evening. His focus was on nothing but baseball, while yours was on everything but when it came to him. When he happened to look your way during the game, you felt a weird feeling in your stomach - a bubbling sensation, like nerves that couldn’t be settled. Your cheeks flushed, turning a pale pink as they became warm to the touch, reddening slightly as you felt Bethany’s gaze fall on you, a grin forming on her face as you proved her right about how your feelings were evolving for Jake.

Since that day, you’d found yourself continuing to crush on him, each day your feelings grew deeper and more intense than the day before. At this point, you almost swore you could see yourself marrying him one day. You had to admit, you knew everything there was to know about him, you always had fun with him, and he was always happy to see you - you were convinced you two could be as happy and as in love as his parents were someday when you and Jake got older. You’d never tell Jake, you just hoped and prayed that he’d realize one day that he felt the same way about you as you felt about him. You knew there was always the chance that it might not happen, but you didn’t want to think about that. In fact, as far as you were concerned, you hoped that there was never a day where Jake didn’t love you as wholeheartedly as your little eleven year old self loved him.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

Present Day

“Jake, please, come back. I miss you,”

“I miss you too, Jenna, I’m coming home to you. It’s always been you.”

The ear-piercing screech of your phone’s alarm blared from your nightstand, interrupting your dream as it screamed at you. You rolled over in bed, groaning as you clumsily stuck your hand out, feeling around on the wooden side table for your phone to silence it and allow yourself a few more moments of peace and quiet before you had to start your day. The last think you wanted right now was to let this dream slip away on you - it was the closest you’d ever find yourself to Jake professing his love for you after all these years, and you clung to it whenever it cropped up in your mind as you slept.

Jake had always been the one-who-got-away for you. You spent your entire middle school years trying to hide your feelings for him, refusing to break until he said how he felt first. You were 13 when he got his first girlfriend, Tiffany Donaldson, a girl in your class. Tiffany was pretty and popular, something that you couldn’t claim for yourself in either case - growing up with Jake, you were seen as more of a teammate or a sister-figure than anything else, despite his sister’s best efforts to help you shake that connection somewhat. After Tiffany, you two had begun high school, and Jake made the football team, and the baseball team. As the school’s star runningback and starting pitcher for the varsity team, Jake was popular beyond words. No one could hold a candle to him, and as his popularity soared because of his athletic prowess in school, you faded further and further back into obscurity, the limelight falling from you and onto someone new each time Jake began dating another girl. Eventually, by the time graduation rolled around, you and Jake had all but fallen out of touch with each other outside of family get-togethers shared between your mothers.

You had just worked up the courage to tell him your feelings at the graduation party Jake’s parents had thrown for you both, convincing yourself that it was perfect timing - Jake had accepted an offer at the University of Texas at Austin, keeping close to home as he planned to study finance, his secret talent having always been math. You’d accepted an offer to study communications at the same school, and with both of you remaining local, it would be the perfect time to tell him how you felt and attempt a relationship with him, or so you thought.

Before the words could even leave your mouth, Jake was excitedly pulling you aside at the party, stopping outside of his childhood bedroom, the place where the two of you had often played as kids. His green eyes were full of excitement as he looked at you, causing your heart to race as butterflies fluttered in your stomach, making it hard to concentrate on his words. You almost didn’t hear him when he spoke, you were so transfixed on him. If the news had been anything else, you probably wouldn’t have even registered what he’d said the first time. You could still hear the excitement in his voice as he told you his news, and still feel the ache in the pit of your stomach as his words fell on your ears.

“I got accepted! I’m going to the Naval Academy, Jenna, can you believe it? I’m going to serve in the Navy, just like I always wanted. I’m going to be the best aviator they’ve ever seen. Just you watch.”

Jake’s voice was practically buzzing with excitement as he’d told you his news, and it took everything you had in you to not fall apart as he spoke. While you knew he’d always dreamed of being a naval aviator, as long as you could remember, the news hit you like a ton of bricks, unexpected and hard as it rendered you speechless, leaving you nodding your head and smiling like an idiot while inside you wanted nothing more than to scream out how you felt. You knew this could never work out between you now. Your chance was gone, moving away to Maryland and joining the Navy before you’d even had a second to realize what was happening when he spoke.

That was 17 years ago, and the moment still haunted you from time to time, more than you’d like to admit to anyone. At first, you’d kept in touch with Jake and his family, seeing Jake when he came home for holidays and such at first, but then, as you and Jake began entering your first romantic relationships as adults, you found yourselves including each other less and less in your lives. With each boyfriend you had, you realized more and more that you could never love them the way you loved Jake -he’d always be your first love, regardless of how he felt in return. When Jake graduated, he’d been stationed at NAS Lemoore, swapping Maryland for California. You’d still hear the odd update from your mother, who remained in touch with Jake’s parents, but otherwise, you didn’t ask much about Jake’s adult life. You knew he’d never married, that he’d become a Top Gun graduate, and held true to his word about becoming one of the greatest fighter pilots in the United States Navy, but other than that, you knew little about his life now. Last you had heard, last Christmas, he’d been stationed in San Diego.

You sat up in bed, yawning and stretching your body out before heaving a heavy sigh and shaking your head to rid yourself of thoughts of Jake. You were preparing for a trip back home to Texas for the holidays, spending three weeks back with your mother, part of you wishing and longing for Jake to be visiting his family at the same time, while the other part of you prayed he was staying in California or serving a tour so he wouldn’t be able to be there while you were. It had been close to 15 years since you’d seen him, and the last thing you needed was to be reminded of how you strongly you felt. You didn’t need the help from seeing him. The memories of him were more than enough to keep you clinging on.

Your phone rang and with bleary eyes, you picked it up, pressing the green button to answer the call.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” Your mother practically sang out in a voice that was far too cheerful for anyone to have at this hour.

“Hi mama, what’s up? My flight doesn’t land until this evening.”

“Well, I was talking to Mrs. Seresin about Jake, Matt and Bethany…” Your mother’s voice trailed off as she spoke, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat at the mention of Jake.

“Mhmm?” You responded as you stood up, balancing the phone to your ear with your shoulder as you folded a sweatshirt and set it down neatly on the bed, waiting to be packed.

“It turns out both of us are having our kids home for Christmas! Bethany’s coming down from Dallas with her husband and their little ones, and Matt’s coming from Oklahoma City with his fiancee, and Jake’s flying in on leave from California. He’s made his way up to Captain now, you know, Jenna. He’s made quite the career for himself.”

“Mama, I don’t need a sales pitch on why Jake Seresin is the perfect man for me, ok? He hasn’t seen me in years. He probably wouldn’t even recognize me if he saw me.”

“You never know. But I expect you to dress nicely for their Christmas party. You and I have been invited to join them, and I already said you would gladly be attending.”

“Of course you did. So Jake will be there, then?”

“I think his flight lands just before yours does today, actually. His mama and I were actually discussing if we should just carpool together to pick you both up like back when you two were in school together. Remember that? We used to take turns carting you kids back and forth from home to school.”

“I remember, mama. Don’t worry.”

“Anyway…we were talking and it turns out, Jake happens to be single.”

“Mama, why would I care that Jake’s single?” You replied, trying to sound as level-headed as possible.

“Please, Jenna. You really think I don’t know about this crush of yours you’ve been harbourin’ for years?” You could hear the laughter in your mother’s tone as she spoke, and it stung, almost as though your feelings had betrayed you.

“Mama! I haven’t had a crush on Jake in years. Not since he left for the Navy.”

“Of course not…just, do me a favour? Wear something nice for that Christmas party, ok?”

“Sure, Mama, whatever you say.”

You finished the conversation with your mother and let out an exasperated sigh as you tossed your phone onto your bed beside you. You had to be at the airport in three hours, leaving you little time to completely reconfigure your wardrobe for the next few weeks at home in Austin. Peering into your closet, scanning the items as they sat on wire hangers in the tiny space, you frowned, realizing that nothing was worthy of a reunion with Jake after all these years. At the back of the closet, you found a black, form-fitting sweater dress that you hadn’t worn in years, but, as you held it up to yourself in the mirror, you figured it could work. Part of you hoped this reunion could be the thing that’d remind Jake of what he was missing out on for the last 17 years.

As you finished packing your suitcase, you zipped it closed with a sigh, shaking your head as you tried to calm your nerves before getting yourself ready for your flight. There was a chance you could see Jake at the airport, and you knew you had to look your best, just in case.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

The flight from Chicago to Austin was the most painful three hours of your life. You tried to focus your attention on anything but Jake, but every movie saved on your phone, every book on your tablet, and every thought that crossed your mind was filled with him. You tried reminding yourself that he could be a totally different person from who he was when you were 18. That he could look completely different, act completely different - that he may not even know who you are anymore. The thought of Jake forgetting you was suffocating, closing in on you a little bit more every time it creeped into your mind. You took a deep breath as you departed the plane, your eyes scanning the crowd for your mother as you gripped your carry-on. Your face went white as a sheet as you saw her standing with Mrs. Serensin, both of whom waved frantically with excitement as they saw you.

“Jenna! It’s been so long, darlin’, how have you been? Your mama’s told me lots, but I feel like it’s no substitute for getting to see you in person!”

“Hi, Mrs. Serensin! I’ve been ok, how have you guys been? Haven’t seen you in about, 15 years? I think I saw y’all the one visit after Jake shipped out, but I haven’t been home much for the holidays, Mama’s usually up in Chicago visiting me.”

“We’ve been good, Bethany has two boys now, Easton and Dylan, and Matt’s met this girl, Alexis, she’s wonderful, a real sweetheart. He’s gettin’ married next summer. “

“Oh, that’s great news!” You replied cheerfully, fighting the instinct to bite your lip as she failed to mention where Jake was at in life.

“We better get going, Julie, Jake’s plane’s about to land,” Your mother said as she grabbed Mrs. Seresin’s arm excitedly, nodding her head.

“Oh, I thought Jake landed earlier?”

“He was meant to, but his flight got delayed, he’s landing in a few minutes now, I think.”

You nodded your head slowly, reluctantly following behind as your mom and Mrs. Serensin led the way to Jake’s terminal, biting the inside of your cheek as your eyes followed the signage as you walked past. You tried your best to focus on something, anything, but your nerves but so far, your nerves were winning. You were terrified. What if Jake hated you for not staying in touch? What if he forgot all about you? What if you were the last person he wanted to see? What he if came through those doors with a surprise girlfriend on his arm?

“Ma!” You heard a voice call out. You looked up to see a tall, handsome man with neatly combed blonde hair, piercing green eyes and sunkissed skin. His naval uniform was still perfectly pressed without a crease on it somehow after his flight, and he looked perfect. You knew in an instant that it was him.

“Ms. T?” He chuckled as he shook his head, pulling back from his mother’s embrace as he gave your mother a heartfelt hug, before pausing as he looked at you, a warm smile on his lips as he nodded his head, his blonde eyebrow cocked upwards in surprise.

“Jenna?”

“The one and only,” You shrugged with a smile as you tried your best to play it cool, forgetting for a moment that at 35 years old, you shouldn’t be getting tongue-tied and start giggling like a schoolgirl over a crush. The mere fact that you still had a crush on Jake was enough to make you feel like a fool.

“It’s nice to see ya, Jenna,” Jake nodded as he wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you into his embrace. You breathed in the scent of his cologne, notes of whiskey and cedarwood encircling you as his grip remained tight, yet comfortable around you, as if he was hugging his long lost friend, which, he was in a sense.

“Nice to see you too, Jake,” You nodded once as he pulled away, a soft smile on your lips as you looked at him, trying to commit this moment to memory before it drifted away on you.

You swore out of the corner of your eye, you saw your mothers exchange a look with one another, a secret signal to one another, as if a master plan of theirs was underway, and everything was beginning to come together before their eyes.

As the four of you headed out to the car together, you caught yourself repeatedly stealing glances at Jake. He hadn’t changed hardly at all since you saw him last, apart from gaining some muscle, and his cheekbones and jawline becoming a bit more defined as he’d aged. He looked incredible for 35, if you didn’t know him, you likely would have guessed he was barely 30, and you couldn’t help but feel yourself fall deeper with each stolen look at him.

“So, you’re Captain Seresin now then?” You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him, hoping to break the silence brewing between the two of you.

“Yeah, this past April! I didn’t expect to get it, to be honest.”

Jake’s cheeks reddened as he smiled at you, trying to appear modest as he spoke of his accomplishments in the Navy since you’d last seen him. He had always used to have an ego so big that it’d rival some of the aircraft around in size, especially as a teenager - he was good and he knew he was good when it came to sports. It was part of what drove the two of you apart, but around you? He was modest like he always had been before, acting embarrassed by the achievements he’d otherwise never shut up about. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think Jake was nervous around you. Jake Seresin, the only service member on active duty with multiple confirmed kills, the US Naval Air Force Captain who’s served for the last 17 years without as much as a scratch on him, the man who graduated top of his class from the Top Gun program, where only the best of the best are selected to participate. Jake Seresin had no need to be nervous about impressing you. He could have impressed you by simply looking your way - but for some reason, he was nervous around you, reduced to a blushing, modest mess.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

“Jake’s such a lovely boy,” Your mother said as she sipped her morning coffee, eyes fixated on the news program on her television set.

“He’s 35, mama, he’s hardly a boy now.”

“Fine, Jake’s a lovely man, he’s still just as sweet as I remember him being when he was young. He comes back to visit whenever he gets a leave and stays for a few days, and he always stops by to say hello - he even asks about you sometimes.”

“He asks about me?”

“He sure does, he asked Julie about you the other day, in fact. He was asking if you’d be home this time at Christmas. Seems you two always come back to visit on opposite schedules and never run into each other. He was saying he’d like to see you again, Jenna.”

Your mother’s words hung in the air for a moment. You took a sip from your coffee mug and furrowed your brow as you thought it over. You dismissed your mother’s words as nothing more than an attempt to set you and Jake up on a date, one that you figured Jake wasn’t going to be a willing participant of.

“Oh Mama, hush, he probably just said that to be polite because he figured I’d be coming home for the holidays anyway.”

“Jenna, why are you always so stubborn?” Your mother frowned, shaking her head as she let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m not stubborn, I’m just…practical. I’m the only one who seems to realize the fact that Jake and I haven’t seen each other in 17 years, Mama. We’re not the same people we were when we were 18. He could be a serial womanizer with a series of broken hearts left behind waiting for him in California for all I know. He could have 17 kids by different women, or be a serial killer, Mama. I literally know nothing about him anymore.”

“Jenna Elizabeth Taylor, you’re just being ridiculous now,” Your mother frowned as she shook her head, sighing, “I think Julie would have mentioned it if Jake was a father, and do you really think he’s the type to go around breaking hearts for fun? Besides, how could he be a serial killer if he’s busy flying around on missions all the time?”

“You’re missing my point, Ma.”

“No, Jenna, I think you’re missing mine,” She sighed, setting her mug down on the table as she pursed her lips, “My point is, I know you’ve been holding out for him for years. He’s asked his mama about you, he’s been asking if you were coming home, he stops in to see me whenever he comes home - do you really think he’d do all that if he didn’t still feel something for you?”

“Mama, I’m not going to make a fool of myself and throw myself at him, contrary to what you think would work.”

You heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, and when you turned on your heel, you stood face to face with Jake, now sporting a fitted pair of acid-washed light denim jeans and a burnt orange Texas Longhorns football jersey and a brown corduroy bomber jacket shrugged on over top. His blonde hair peaked out from behind his beloved baseball cap, you’d swear it was the same one he’d been wearing since he was 15 if you didn’t know any better, this hat looked like it had been through hell and back.

He’d let himself in through the unlocked front door, almost certainly at your mother’s previous insistence or invitation. His cheeks were blushing again, his green eyes darting between the two of you, a blonde eyebrow cocked upwards as his gaze landed on you.

“Throw yourself at who?” He chuckled, flashing a set of perfect white teeth your way as gave you that same grin that he always did when you were kids. It was the kind of smile that always got him out of trouble, and sometimes, into trouble, depending on the situation.

“No one,” You said quickly, shooting your mother a warning glance as you shook your head, a few strands of light brown hair falling free from your half-assed ponytail that you’d thrown it up into the night before for bed. You realized that Jake was now standing in your mother’s living room while you were sporting an oversized old Texas Longhorns tee and a pair of sweatpants - not ideal attire for seeing a man you were attracted to in, regardless of your protests about your feelings to your mother.

“Right,” Jake nodded his head, but the tone in his voice told you he didn’t quite believe a word you were saying, “I know this isn’t a great time, but Ma wanted me to check and see if you and Ms. T were still able to make it tonight, she wanted me to ask in person, and she wanted me to see if you needed my help bringing anything over, she said you were bringing your famous taco dip, Ms. T? I can bring the dish over now for you if you’d like, Ma’s cleared out the fridge of anything that isn’t a necessity for the party so there’s tons of room.”

“Sure, Jake, honey, it’s in the fridge, Jenna can show you where, I just have to run upstairs and grab something to send to your mama’s with you,” Your mother said as she stood up, heading off up the stairs quicker than you could say a word, leaving you and Jake alone in an awkward stance, nothing but the sound of the morning news to fill the silent void between you, until Jake cleared his throat again before pointing his index finger towards the kitchen.

“In here? I’m sure I can find it if you need to go upstairs and get changed.”

“I’m fine, not like you haven’t seen me in pajamas before, Jake.”

“Well, in my defense, last time we were like, 12.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen a woman in an oversized tee and sweatpants before,” You shrugged nonchalantly, pretending to be completely unbothered by the fact you felt like you were dressed like an absolute slob right now.

“Alright, lead the way then,” Jake nodded as he followed behind you.

You felt his eyes make their way down your body, and you swore you could hear him muttering something under his breath as he sauntered into the kitchen after you. You couldn’t make out what he had said, but it sounded almost like a “Jesus Christ” before he coughed and averted his gaze as you turned to face him. You opened the fridge and grabbed the dish containing your mom’s taco dip before setting it on the counter for Jake to take home. You raised an eyebrow at Jake as you caught him staring in your direction, a look of bewilderment on his face.

“You good, Hangman?”

“Hmm?” Jake said as he shook his head, an awkward laugh escaping his lips as he raised an eyebrow at you, “How did you know my callsign?”

“Because it’s on the back of your jersey, genius.”

Jake raised an eyebrow as he looked down, as if he’d forgotten what shirt he was wearing today. He nodded his head and laughed as he ran a hand through the back of his hair, scratching the back of his neck as he looked back up at you.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just, uh, jet-lagged, I think.”

“Jet-lagged? Isn’t only two hours behind us in San Diego?”

“You can still feel jet-lag with a two hour difference, Jenna.”

“I’m not stupid, Jake, I know that, but you seem…distracted? Not tired.”

“I’m fine, honest,” He nodded as he shoved his hands into his front pockets, looking around the kitchen as you checked the fridge for the extra shredded cheese and green onions your mother had prepared the night before to top the dip she’d made.

“Suit yourself, Jake,” You laughed as you set everything out on the counter for him and nodded, “If you give me five minutes to get dressed, I’ll help you bring it over.”

“Five minutes? God, I remember you taking 30 minutes to get ready when we were kids.”

“I was 12, it was 2000, I needed more time to perfect my lip gloss routine. Now I just have to put something warmer and nicer on than a t-shirt and sweatpants.”

“Fair enough, I can wait here. Your mama said she’d back down in a minute with something for Ma anyways.”

“Right, I’ll be back down in five.”

You turned around and headed back up the stairs, sighing softly to yourself as you entered your childhood bedroom, opening your suitcase as you grabbed out a pair of jeans and a vintage crewneck sweatshirt. You tidied your hair up into a neat ponytail before heading back down the stairs to meet Jake, who was currently talking to your mother in the kitchen, his body leaning against the counter as he spoke. Jake looked up at you, straightening his posture as he saw you. He picked the taco dip up from the counter, along with the reusable shopping bag your mother had packed up of the extra ingredients. Sitting on the counter next to the food was a gift, perfectly wrapped with a gold bow and a tag written out in your mother’s sleek handwriting. Jake’s mother and yours had always exchanged gifts with one another, and it warmed your heart in a sense to see the tradition still carrying on for them.

“So, you enjoy living in Chicago?” Jake asked, watching you as the two of you headed back from your childhood home, Jake having insisted on walking you back so you could spend some time catching up, even if just for a few minutes. .

“Yeah, it’s a change of scenery. It’s different from Austin for sure. How’s San Diego treating you?”

“It’s pretty good, I like being on the beach. I do miss home sometimes though,” He laughed softly, giving his shoulders a gentle shrug as he looked around at the street you grew up on, just a couple of blocks away from his own childhood home.

“I mean, yeah, I miss my mom sometimes when I’m in Chicago, but, I know it’s easier for me to come home and see her than for you to come home and see your family.”

“Jenna? Can I ask you something?”

“Mhmm?”

“Do you…do you regret leaving for Chicago?”

“No, I wouldn’t be where I’m at now if I hadn’t left. I have a really good career in public relations, and I’m happy with where I’m at professionally. I wouldn’t have gotten that if I stayed in Austin, just like you wouldn’t have gotten as far in the Navy if you hadn’t gone to Annapolis.”

Jake stayed silent for a minute, his eyes looking everywhere but at you, avoiding your gaze. You could sense tension between the two of you. The Jake you knew growing up was never awkward, and never stopped talking - had he really changed that much since he’d left? You couldn’t see the Navy taming him to the point where he became reserved, Jake had always been so outgoing, so full of self-pride that it often came off as cocksure arrogance, but most of the time, it was out of sheer disbelief that he’d made it that far. You looked to him, his hands firmly in his pockets as he let out a huff, his breath turning to vapor in the cool December air.

“I should really get going,” Jake nodded slowly, checking his watch as he looked back towards the street, “I promised Ma I’d help her set up.”

“Right, right, I’ll see you in a couple hours? Mama and I’ll be there.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then,” Jake nodded, a warm smile on his features as he turned to start heading back.

You let out a heavy sigh, mentally kicking yourself as you realized you’d just let another opportunity to tell Jake how you felt slip away from you. As you headed up to your bedroom to get ready, moving quickly to dodge any questions from your mother, who was probably desperate to hear how your alone time with Jake had gone.

You shut the door behind you, sighing again as you sat at your old vanity table, brushing through your hair and sectioning it with a claw clip as you began straightening it, trying your best to calm your nerves and make a decision on how you were going to approach Jake. You wanted to tell him, desperately, how you felt, but, part of you couldn’t help but cling to the fact you might regret it. That you might be disappointed and find out that Jake never felt the same about you, and that he never would. Or that he’d be in a relationship with someone else back in San Diego, someone prettier, younger, smarter, better.

On the other hand, did you really want to commit yourself to never telling him how you felt? Letting the door shut on the one man you’d loved the longest, the most, and the hardest in your lifetime? Could you really be happy with anyone else? What if something happened to Jake while he was serving and you never got the chance to share how you felt? What if, somehow, there was the off chance he felt the same way about you?

As you finished your makeup, taking a deep breath as you looked yourself over in the mirror, you nodded your head. You had to tell him. There was no way you could let him go back to San Diego without knowing. You couldn’t let this go unsaid any longer, if for no other reason than to give yourself closure. If he rejected you, you could move on - or at least, try to. You could finally let go of your feelings and meet someone, and try your hardest to love them with the same enthusiastic, all-consuming love you felt for Jake. If he felt the same way, you’d apply for a job transfer to Los Angeles as soon as possible, because a three-hour drive was much more manageable of a commute to see him than a flight from Chicago to San Diego.

This was it, you were going to finally do it. You just needed to get Jake alone.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

“Oh, Jenna! It’s been so long, how are you?”

Bethany’s voice was sweet as honey as she spoke, wrapping her arms around you in a warm embrace, as if she’d been missing you for years and the sight of you reminded her of just how much.

“I’m great thanks, Beth, how are you? Your mama said you have two boys now? Easton and Dylan?”

“Yeah, they’re 6 and 4, they’re little handfuls like their uncles, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’ve got Jake and Matt as influences for you. My husband’s not much better.”

Bethany laughed as she gestured towards Jake playing with Easton? Or was it Dylan? Jake’s unmistakeable toothy grin plastered on his face, his green eyes alight with joy as he lifted his young nephew up, tickling him, the young boy’s laughter filling the air as Jake continued to make him laugh. Jake looked up to see you with his sister, smiling as he set the boy down on the floor, ruffling his hair with his fingers before making his way over to you.

“Jenna! Hey, I’m glad you came.”

“Told you I would, didn’t I?” You laughed, shrugging your shoulders as effortlessly as possible as you tried to play it cool, praying no one saw through the front you were putting up.

“Hey, Jenna, can I…can I talk to you for a sec?” Jake asked sheepishly.

You couldn’t mistake the look on Bethany’s face, biting her lip to hold back a grin. You caught Jake giving her a stare that could make any person stop dead in their tracks, his green eyes practically piercing through his older sister as she tried not to laugh. As you nodded your head, raising your eyebrow at the scene unfolding before you. You followed behind Jake as he led you upstairs to his old childhood bedroom. When he opened the door, you were confronted with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. Old pictures adorned the wall, some including you and Jake as children, with ice cream covered smiles and skinned knees, baseball uniforms and halloween costumes, missing teeth and messy curls.

“Ma hasn’t changed anything since I left home, I don’t even think she’s bought new bedding for this room.” He chuckled as he looked around the room, his large hands placed firmly on his hips as he stood in the doorway.

“Still sleeping with those baseball player sheets you had as a kid?” You teased, eyeing the comforter on the bed, neatly made and pulled together, a sign of Jake’s time in the navy.

“You know it, I’m still a big kid, really,” He laughed, nodding his head as he pointed to a picture on the wall before looking over at you, “Remember this one? Your 7th birthday party, I think I snuck an extra little bit of frosting off your birthday cake and my mama almost killed me. She told me I had the table manners of a barn animal.”

“You did, you used to chew with your mouth full too.”

“I grew out of it at least. I’m a little more civilized now.” Jake replied with a smirk, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to face you, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath before exhaling sharply. You could see Jake chewing at the inside of his cheek, nodding his head as his eyes met yours.

“I have to tell you something, ok?” He finally said, sighing heavily.

“I’m listening, Jake.”

“I should have told you this a long time ago, but…I love you.”

You sputtered for a moment, eyes wide in shock as he spoke. He frowned, clearly expecting a better reaction than what you’d given him. Jake shook his head and took your hand in his, stroking the back of your hand gently with his fingers, which were almost surprisingly soft and smooth to the touch.

“I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t care if you just wanna be friends after hearing this, because even though the truth is, I'm scared to be your friend, I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all. The last 17 years have been spent missing you and wishing I’d said something before I left. That I’d kissed you or held you, or said something, anything to you.” He frowned, nodding his head as he looked to the ground before continuing to speak, his voice beginning to tremble with emotion.

“I was stupid to just go and leave things there, but I’ve been paying for it ever since. No other woman has ever compared to you.”

Without another word, you gripped the front of Jake’s football jersey, using it to give you leverage to pull him in closer, your lips crashing into his just as he looked up at you to see what you were doing. Any initial hesitation either of you felt melted away into the kiss, your lips moving together passionately, Jake’s hands trailing their way down your sides to rest on your hips, pulling your body in closer to his. When he finally pulled away to catch his breath, he maintained a small distance between the two of you, speaking in a low whisper as he watched you bite your now puffy, kiss-bitten bottom lip.

“Is that your way of telling me you feel the same way? Because if you do, I want to take you on a date. And I don't care if it's in the day, or at night, or whenever, as long as it's a real date. And I wanna sit there and tell you how beautiful I think you are, Inside and out. How you’ve always been the most beautiful girl in the world to me, without a doubt. And I wanna have babies with you, and I wanna marry you, and I wanna tell you every day that I love you and I always have." Jake nodded, his cheeks blushing as he scratched the back of his neck again, waiting for your response to his rambling feelings.

“Jake, I’ve spent the last 17 years of my life waiting to hear you say that.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Jenna. I’m so sorry I made you wait.”

“Promise me something, Jake?”

“Anything you want, pretty girl.”

“Promise me you won’t make me wait that long again? I’m not sure I can wait another 17 years for you to ask me to marry you.”

“Jenna, I swear to you, I’m not making you wait for anything ever again. I’d marry you tomorrow if I didn’t think my mama would have me committed for running off to get married three days after our reunion.”

“You’d marry me tomorrow?”

“With bells on, babe. With bells on. I’d marry you right here, right now, in my beat up Longhorns jersey, and drive off into the sunset with you in my truck if you wanted.”

“I don’t know about that, Captain Seresin,” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at him as you felt his hands caress your sides, “As tempting as that sounds, we do have 17 years of lost time to make up for.”

“And I intend to make up for every single second of that with you, Jenna. Here, Chicago, San Diego, I don’t care. I just want you. All of you, completely and totally.”

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upsidedownwithsteve · 1 year

Note

thinking about camp!steve fighting with hawkins over something petty and they're both horny and pent up bc they haven't had any time alone

"you're gonna regret that, princess"

"oh no, i'm shaking in my boots"

"yeah, you will be shaking by the time I'm done with you"

😳🥵

It wasn’t like either of you had wanted to go in the first place, but Steve’s parents had cornered you both on one of the rare occasions they’d been home.

Mrs Harrington had gasped and air kissed you on both cheeks as you stumbled down their stairs that morning, wide eyed and only dressed in her son's T-shirt.

“I’m so sorry,” you croaked out, mortified. “Steve and I didn’t hear you guys get in last night.”

And so you had to stand, barefoot and clutching at the hem of Steve’s shirt as his mother cooed over their tip to Paris, how the meeting had gone so well, how their flight got in earlier than planned and did you know that the Duncan’s down the road were getting a divorce?

You had just wanted a coffee.

But Steve had eventually stirred enough to hear his mom, launching himself out of bed in a bid to save you. It all went downhill from there, ‘cause his dad appeared, back from his morning run to jab a little meanly at his son's (flat) stomach, telling him he needed to work out more now he wasn’t on the basketball team.

You held Steve’s hand under the table. And then came the real kicker.

“Oh! Before I forget,” Mrs Harrington cried out over her cappuccino. “It’s the family party this weekend. You’ll both be attending, right? Cousin Michael is bringing his fiancé, Steven, so won’t it be nice that you'll be taking a girlfriend this time?”

You stared. “Family party?”

“A whole house full of Harrington’s!” Steve’s dad declared, whisking two eggs into his smoothie. You tried not to grimace. “We rent the old Manor House out by Bloomington for the weekend. You know it, it’s near that silly, little camp you guys waste your time at.”

Your jaw clenched at the same time Steve’s did.

—————

Two days in and you were at your wits end. The rest of Steve’s family was just like his parents. Obnoxious, brash and arrogant, all with a habit of talking about money and business, even over a seven o’clock breakfast. His younger cousins didn’t know how to knock on doors, Aunt Deniese’s toddler liked to throw things at Steve’s hair, his uncle was constantly winking at you and his grandmother kept grabbing you by the arm and asking when you’d be giving her a grandchild.

‘Never, at this rate,’ you’d wanted to yell at her. ‘Seeing as nobody gives us a fucking second alone.’

Steve was almost unbearable. Almost. He’d turned surly and quiet, barely speaking the morning of the trip ‘cause he’d already had an argument about taking his car rather than sitting in the back of his dads. He’d apologised to you over and over the night before, warning you about his family, how they were, how they acted. He’d even told you you could still back out, but you’d kissed away his apologies and told him you weren’t leaving him to the wolves alone.

But the boy turned into a shell of himself at the hands of his relatives. He was prickly and constantly frowning, brow furrowed and he flinched when you tried to soothe it away. You’d have been offended if you hadn’t felt as on edge as you knew he did, constantly awaiting the next backhanded compliment from one of his aunts, a sympathetic expression written on his cousin's faces when you told them your shoes were from Target.

You saw the way Steve looked at you though. Heated in a different way, the best way. Like he was aching to touch you and have you and kiss you without an audience, ‘cause everytime you reached for him, it gave someone in his family an excuse to berate you both.

‘God, Steve. She’s clingy isn’t she?’

‘Can't you two be apart for more than half an hour?’

‘You know, if you want this relationship to survive, you gotta realise that money keeps it together. Where are you working, Steve?’

‘You know he’ll cheat on you right? He’ll be just like his dad.’

It only stopped when dinner was over and the table was cleared by the hired staff, Steve’s dads incoming speech about the family business interrupted by his son grabbing your hand and dragging you upstairs to your room.

The bedroom door closed and Steve could breathe again. Just.

You stared at him, chest heaving with half jogging through the too big house, with holding in the anger you wanted to let out over the mahogany tabletop. You were pent up, pulled tight. So was Steve.

Maybe you could fix it. If he’d let you.

“Fuck this weekend,” he was seething, kicking at his suitcase that had remained unpacked on the floor. “Honest to god, this fucking family. Shouldn’t have bothered even coming, knew this shit would happen, always fucking does.”

You kicked off your shoes, enjoying the way they clattered angrily against the hardwood. The noise caught your boyfriend’s attention and he turned, wide eyed. You didn’t say anything as you unzipped your dress, angrily shoving down the straps until it pooled at your feet.

You let out another harsh breath, “yeah?” You agreed with Steve, with everything he said. “Wanna fight about it?”

Steve’s eyes flashed, lips parting, nostrils flaring and you knew that look, you loved that look. He sucked in a breath, knocking over the stupid ceramic horse statue on top of the dresser when he backed into it. He nodded, a determined look in his eyes.

“Yeah,” his voice cracked. “Fuck, yeah, let’s fight about it.”

You grinned, wicked, sliding down the straps of your bra, hands behind your back to snap at the hooks. It joined your dress on the floor. Steve’s head hit the wall with a thud, tipped back, pupils blown wide, panting.

He needed this.

“C’mon, pretty boy,” you murmured, “let’s make it better.”

Steve crossed the room in seconds, shirt shed before he reached you, some buttons popping and scattering across the room. He was rough when he kissed you, hands grabbing at your waist, almost bending you backwards when his mouth met yours, tongue sweeping past your lips immediately.

You keened high, uncaring about the other guests, knowing that the dining room was far enough away that they’d probably not hear anyway. So you kissed back just as desperate, hands clutching Steve’s jaw, squeaking when he lifted you without warning, grasping at your thighs that he coaxed around his hips.

Your back hit a wall, photo frames rattling and you felt the click of his teeth against yours when you grinned against each other, chests heaving.

“Fuck,” Steve groaned, hands grabbing at the dough of your ass, pushing your thighs apart so he could grind into you, already painfully hard. “Princess.”

He said it like he used to, less softer, a little more mean, teasing and sticky with condescension. It made your toes curl. Made you think about your first kiss in a cabin in the forest, thick, summer heat clawing at your throat along with an undeniable need for the boy. It felt animalistic. Like this did now.

“Wanna fuck me?” You cooed, voice breathy, hands raking through the boy’s hair, nails leaving marks on his shoulders, his back. “Yeah, baby? Wanna fuck me hard? Wanna mark me up and forget about everything else?”

Steve groaned, a messy, dirty noise and he sounded wild. He nodded, nose bumping yours, one hand skating up your bare side until he could catch at your jaw.

“Fuck, yeah I do. Gonna be good for me?” He asked nicely and god, he looked so good. Tanned skin, freckles across his shoulders, lips swollen and slick from your kisses. “Gonna do as you’re told?”

You grinned, kissing sweet at his jaw. “Not in the slightest,” you whispered against his skin.

Satisfied, you let your head fall back against the wall, watching Steve from under your lashes, hands skating across his throat. Steve wanted a fight, after all. He liked the way you pushed back, babe as good as you got, when pressed him into the pillows so you could ride him until he wanted to cry at how good it felt.

He wanted his hair pulled, scratches down his back, your moans in his ear, lavender coloured bruises on his throat, ones that matched yours. He wanted to fuck out the anger like you were the one who caused it.

You never caused it. Ever.

But it was fun to play.

Steve grinned, ecstatic with your answer. His fingers gripped your ass tighter, fingers slipping under the lace there and he spun you both, letting you drop into the bed so you bounced. He reached for his belt buckle, watching you as he stood at the edge of the bed.

“You’re so fucking pretty.” A moment of softness, a gentle hand on your stomach before he pushed you down onto the sheets.

#sorry this got away from me stfdyufd #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington blurb #stranger things fic #camp blurb

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charmedbystars · 10 months

Text

you don't get it (e-1610 miles morales)

pairing: e-1610 miles x reader (unrequited)

summary: you try to understand miles, but you cant.

a/n: this is the first time i try writing something so i'm so sorry if it's bad. plz leave suggestions and stuff if ya want! also debating a part 2 but i hate this sooo i don't know yet...

you and miles grew up together. making an oath to stick together for the rest of your lives in the sandbox of a park about two blocks from miles’ apartment. and you guys sure stuck to that oath. from crying about getting sand in each other’s eyes, going through the awkward teenage phase (and miles still going through it), to being accepted into the same school. you guys were inseparable.

recently, you found out about miles’ secret vigilante identity. you didn’t take it very well and constantly scolded miles about his safety, but you were glad he chose to trust you.

of course, when it came to trust it came with knowing other stuff too… such as knowing who gwen was. and to make it even better, since you were the only person (other than ganke) that he can go on to talk about her, you became a victim of listening to the constant babble of gwen this and gwen that. you literally didn’t know how much longer you can take it, especially with those feelings of yours bubbling in your stomach.

of course… how cliché of you to be in love with your best friend of years. plus your best friend being the super oblivious miles did not make it any better.

anyways going back, you didn’t know how to tell miles that you’re in love with him without ruining your years of friendship or how to just simply ask him to shut the fuck up about gwen without hurting his feelings. you literally didn’t know how he could talk about her for hours without getting tired (although if someone asked you about miles, you would go on for ages, but that’s different) and the number of times you’ve caught him sketching her in his journal has become freaky.

you love miles but this is just getting tiring. you want things to be how they were. when you guys would sneak up to the roof and talk about the stars or sneak out to do some graffiti. now it’s just cancelled plans, late texts backs, and constant excuses. and that’s how you are now, sitting outside the steps of miles’ apartment waiting for him to arrive with the cakes for his dad’s promotion party. you look down at your phone and open it again to see if he responded.

you: hey miles im outside waiting 4 you

you: dont forget the cakes and stay safe

you: lemme know when you arrive plz

Delivered

you sighed for the twentieth time, wondering when miles was going to arrive. you just sat outside on the steps to his apartment when about ten minutes later you hear a crash. you stand and squint looking up.

“y/n! come upstairs so we can enter the rooftop together,” there was miles, head handing outside his window. you nodded your head and headed upstairs to his apartment. you didn’t even bother knocking and simply just barging into his house. walking into his room, you see miles rushing to get his shoes on.

leaning against the wall, you stared down at miles, “so what was it this time? it better be good enough that you’re late to your own father’s party”

“yes i knowww, i just got caught up doing some stuff. the villian today was super weird though and then i almost lost the cakes, but you know what? none of that matters because i’m here now!” he gave you one of his wide smiles.

you couldn’t stay serious with him when you gave you that smile. you yourself cracked a smile, shaking your head. “okay, noted. crazy day for spiderman, now hurry up and get your shoes on faster because one more minute longer and your mom is gonna freak.”

“well seems like my mom is already freaking,” miles smugly looked at you while standing up, grabbing the cakes and leaving you behind. you grumbled and just followed behind him.

arriving to the rooftop, you can already see miles’ mom looking around and as if she sensed miles, she quickly walked over to you guys.

“miles donde estabas? you’re late to your own dad’s party? y/n thank you so much for getting miles here,” miles’ brows furrowed as his mom gave you all the glory for him being there.

“mom what? i got here just fine!”

“no, thank y/n because i know she’s the responsible one out of the two of you,” you gave miles the same smug look that he gave you earlier and tilted your head a little higher.

“anyways, grab something to eat. miles, ven porque your dad and i want to talk to you for a minute” rio gave her son a look.

you simply nodded your head and strolled off to make yourself a plate. sitting down on a bench somewhere, you tried to block out and avert your gaze from miles’ parents yelling at him. you felt bad that you couldn’t do anything especially when you know so much about him that others don’t understand.

about an hour has passed since miles’ scolding and you didn’t want to approach him directly after to save him from embarrassment and allow him to take a few minutes to himself. you assumed that he went to his room and would come back in a couple minutes because you knew he wouldn’t completely miss his dad’s party.

you engaged in small conversations with miles’ cousins and family members, but after a while they left to go eat or do their own thing. resorting to scrolling through your phone and watching a couple tiktoks when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“mija, quien es esa que esta arriba con miles?” rio tilted her head in the direction where miles was. surprising you completely, miles was on the water tower with gwen laughing and nudging each other. looking and them and snapping your head back to rio who seemed a but agitated with her eyebrows quirked up.

“uhh.. i think that’s gwanda? one of miles’ friends but she’s usually out of town. miles’ never mentioned her coming though…” you simply shrugged your shoulders. feeling a heavy weight in your stomach, you tried not to look over at them again.

approaching behind rio was jeff. he had a similar expression as rio, brows furrowed and scratching his head.

“she looks old enough to vote… and i bet she doesn’t even speak spanish,” rio kept talking about gwen which didn’t help you trying to block out the sinking feeling. jeff crossed his arms and kept looking over at them.

somehow, rio convinced you and jeff to go up to the water tower and meet gwen. now, you’ve never met gwen but you sure have heard enough about her to know that she’s not a bad person.

rio was stumbling to get up the tower and introduce herself to gwen. crashing into miles slightly, not caring a bit if she interrupted anything. “hello! i’m miles’ mom,”

“rio! i’ve heard so much about you!” immediately hearing those words come out of gwen’s mouth, you winced. you knew that rio was not about having first name bases with any one of miles’ friends. you glanced over at miles’ expression who seemed a bit worried.

looking at the interaction was a bit odd and very awkward, especially with you standing next to miles’ parents doing nothing. you didn’t want to make a move to introduce yourself either, you didn’t know if there was anything for you to say really. honestly rio’s jokes weren’t making it any better either. hearing “don’t take him from me.. oh! you can’t cause he’s grounded haha” and “don’t break his heart” coming from rio’s mouth was just making you want to get bitten by a spider so you can turn invisible in that moment.

gwen trying to escape the moment made up that she needed to get her steps in and go. turning around to give miles a handshake, she glanced over, noticing you in the corner. not wanting to be rude, you just gave a wave. she gave you a small smile until taking off down the stairs.

once she left, jeff also left to return to the party leaving miles, rio, and you behind. miles ignored both of your presence and leaned against the railing, shoving his face into his hands. you went up to miles and rubbed his back.

“i’m sorry miles,” he glanced over at you and gave a sigh. you looked over you shoulder and looked at rio. she seemed to be thinking. deciding to give miles and his mom a little time to talk, heart to heart, you descended down the stairs.

looking down at the city below you, millions of thoughts run through your mind. almost all of them being about miles. you wanted to help him, you wanted to be there for him in every way, but you just don’t seem enough. you didn’t know what to do and you don’t want to try to seem understanding when you have absolutely no idea what he’s going through. you just want him to feel at peace with you. there’s nothing you want more in the world than seeing miles happy. although the feeling in your stomach of knowing that miles’ happiness lies with gwen and not with you just made you nauseous, you knew you had to let him go. but, before you let him go… maybe you’ll try.

seeing miles and his mom done talking, you see miles about to leave. getting a feel of adrenaline through your veins, you ran after him before he managed to take a step down the stairs.

“miles! where are you going?” you cocked your head to the side.

“i’m going after gwen. there’s something going on and i’m going to follow after her,” he tapped his feet and glanced around as if he’s if a rush.

“wait, miles what? you’re leaving? do you even know where you’re going?”

“no, but i know that i’m needed y/n. i gotta go now like i have this feeling.”

“wait so you’re skipping out on your dad’s celebration for a girl?”

“n- no! there’s something going on and i need to fix it” miles was starting to squirm eager to put on his suit and swing through the city.

“is there gonna be a day where you live for yourself? i understand that you’re spiderman and you help out the people, but you can’t be doing this constantly miles. you’re a highschool student and have so m-”

“no, you don’t understand! no one understands! but there are people out there who will-”

“c’mon miles, don’t be like that. i know i don’t exactly understand because i was bitten by a spider or anything, but i’m trying to understand through you and being there for you!” the tone in your voice starts getting a bit higher.

“i just learned that there’s a way for me to see other people who are just like me! i need to go!”

“you know what miles? go. i’m trying so hard to be supportive but-”

“well you’re not. i don’t want to escalate this any farther. i’m going… bye y/n” before you could respond miles ran down the stairs leaving you with a lump in your throat. you didn’t want to start anything, you just wanted miles to try to get a piece of normality within his crazy spider life.

sighing once more, you decided to sit on the ledge and look off into the distance wondering how you were gonna fix it between you two.

#miles x reader #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #across the spider verse #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #1610!miles morales x reader #miles molares #astv miles #miles morales x reader angst #miles morales x y/n #x reader #x y/n #earth 1610 #across the spider verse spoilers #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse

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13as07 · 2 months

Text

Hanahaki Disease

(Shino Aburame)

[Art work is not mine! Credit to imoimo00000]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,878

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

“Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.”

Mentions of Mental Illness (Depression, Anxiety and Bipolar Disorders)

———————————————————————

My eyes trail after Shino who's slipping out the door. Today is another day of him leaving without giving me my goodbye kiss. Not that anyone is counting, because I'm not counting. Who cares if Shino has forgotten to kiss me goodbye every day this month? Who cares if he's started month two of the forgotten kiss? Not me.

He's a very busy man. He's one of the teachers at the Academy, he has a lot of clan matters to attend to, not to mention he's started his training to take over as chief for his dad. So who cares if he doesn't remember to kiss me, even if it's only five seconds of his day?

It would be selfish of me if I threw a hissy fit over something so small. Shino is mentoring the next generation of Shinobis. Shino is taking care of his people and their needs. Shino is starting his path to take over the clan. His father is almost sixty, eventually, he's going to want to retire. It would be self-centered of me to start a fight because Shino is too busy taking care of the community.

Besides, when Shino has free time he'll spend it with me. Who cares if it's been weeks since we've been on a date? Who cares if it's been a couple of months since we've been physically? Who cares that the only time I see him anymore is five minutes in the morning and the occasional nights that he wakes me up sneaking into bed? Not me, that's who.

I knew what I was signing up for. He lives a busy life and so do I. That's the life of a Shinobi, I shouldn't be surprised we don't have a lot of time together. Shino is a pillar of our community. I know that.

But it only takes five seconds. A peck and then he can leave. Not to mention he's done it for years. Why isn't he doing it anymore? Has he forgotten? Or has he been choosing not to kiss me? There's no way Shino has forgotten, he never forgets anything, so it has to be a willing choice right? Why doesn't he want to kiss me anymore? Have we lost our spark? Is Shino over our relationship? Does he see me as another task instead of his partner? Is that why he isn't kissing me? Or maybe he just doesn't -

The thought gets cut off by a pain in my chest. My hand shoots up, rubbing my chest to try and work out the pain. Instead of working out the nest of aches, my rubbing brews a cough.

The sound of my lungs trying to loosen the pain ripples through my rib cage, making the empty apartment echo with the sound. The more I cough the more pain flutters through my chest.

My eyes snap closed as another string of coughs rips from my chest. Tears prickle my eyes as my lungs pound against my ribs.

As the third round of coughing starts, something in my chest shifts. As I cough, the loosening feelings continue, something smooth shooting out every time another wheeze is forced from my lungs. It hurts every time a chunk of whatever flies out, leaving behind a burning feeling in my lungs. Like a new scab wound is being ripped into my airway.

By the time I'm done coughing, my throat feels raw and my chest feels like it's on fire. I tip my head backward, resting it on the chair I've been sitting on. My breath is shaky and uneven as I try to catch it, the oxygen rolling over the imaginary wounds as I suck it in. It feels like licks of fire running down my throat.

After a few deep breaths, the pain has subsided and my breathing is back in check. Maybe I'm getting sick. I should ask Shino about it, he's a medicine expert courtesy of his clan.

A threat of another cough fit bubbles in my chest, making me clear my throat in hopes of forcing it down.

When I successfully manage to avoid another round of wheezing, I lift my head back up, snapping my eyes open so I can start my day. As my eyes open, I'm met with a small pile of petals littered across the kitchen table and the floor underneath it.

The petals are wide and curved at the end. The soft yellow of them is dotted with speckles of blood, making my nerves tingle. Those weren't there before I coughed but there's no way... I did not cough up flower petals. That's impossible... It's not... It's not the Hanahaki Disease.

Shino loves me, I know he loves me. Right? So what if he's been a little busy? So what if we haven't had much time together recently... any time together recently? He's just a little busy. I know Shino loves me, he loves me... Right?

———————————

I can feel another petal trying to wheeze its way out as I walk up the stairs back home. Sakura's words roll around my head as I climb the steps to my front door.

"It's a mental state of mind in a physical form. The personification of your thoughts. Go home and stop stressing about Shino so much and it should fix itself."

Sakura's words were meant in good light but at the moment it doesn't seem like that, or feel like that since I'm winded from climbing a flight of stairs. Another round of coughing is threatened in my lungs, the feeling of the ignored cough slamming against my rib cage as I refuse to give in.

My hand shakes as I dig my keys out of my pocket and struggle to get the door unlocked and opened. When I finally do manage to get the door open, I leave it swung wide and dash towards the trash. My head hangs in it, hands on my knees as I cough into the can.

The growing familiarity of petals being ripped from my lungs fills my chest, the yellow lilies coated in my blood spilling into the trash as I cough them up.

By the time a flower or two is released, the fluttering of my lungs settles, leaving me to catch my breath again. My eyes scan the trash, the tears now coating my sights making it a little difficult to make out the proof of my disease.

Shino loves me. He loves me. I know he loves me... or do I? If I knew he loved me I wouldn't be in this situation.

"Stop stressing about Shino so much."

Sakura's voice rings in my head again, helping me calm my breathing down. My eyes scan over the petals once more before I climb to my feet. I'll take a nap, that should help. No coughing, no Shino, no worrying about his love for me or lack thereof recently. It's just a bump in the road, just my anxiety getting the better of me. I'll beat this disease in no time because Shino loves me... unless he doesn't...

———————————

Panic is not real, it is an imaginary emotion, and it's nothing more than an adrenaline rush. My shallow breath is nothing but adrenaline. The ringing in my ears is adrenaline. It's not even adrenaline, it is the sound of my blood moving quicker because my breaths are moving quicker because my adrenaline has been heightened by Sakura.

By Sakura who stopped by the school on her lunch break. Who 'accidentally' left my Bumble Bee's papers from her visit to the hospital today. Who doesn't understand the meaning of Doctor-Patient Confidentiality. Who took the risk of getting fired to tell me I've been neglecting my Bumble Bee so much that flowers are growing in her lungs because I am lacking as a romantic partner.

I'm well versed in the knowledge of the Hanahaki Disease. After all, one in five people will experience it during their lifetime. The chances of someone I know having the disease or getting it is quite high.

Not to mention being from a medical clan means I should be well versed in top diseases and disorders. I know the symptoms, I know the signs. I would have seen them. I would have noticed.

I pay very close attention to my Bumble Bee's health, especially when it comes to the Hanahaki disease. People suffering from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorders, or a mix of them are more likely to get it, and my Bumble Bee falls into that category. I would have noticed.

I know I've been busy but I still see her for... for a few minutes every morning and... and when I get home before midnight... which happens... once a week if I'm lucky...

My heart rate increases at the thought. Maybe I wouldn't have noticed. No, no I would have. I... I would have.

Panic - no, panic isn't real. It's just unchecked adrenaline. My adrenaline is in check, I am in control of it. But the front door being wide open with Bumble Bee's keys still hanging in the lock makes it very difficult to keep my adrenaline in check. The trash bag full of lily petals and her blood doesn't either.

"Bumble Bee?" I call, scanning for any signs that something happened. I can never be too sure that it's not a trap. "Bumble?" I call again, making slow steps toward our open bedroom door.

My adrenaline drops at the sight of her in bed. She looks pink, probably a fever forming from her body trying to respond to the flowers blooming in her chest. Her breaths are raspy, oxygen struggling to fill her lungs because of the lilies. More petals float around the room, littering our bedding and the carpet.

It would have been a pretty sight if it wasn't for the blood droplets decorating the yellow flowers. It's fitting, the yellowing of the petals. It's almost a bumblebee yellow. Bumblebee yellow for my Bumble Bee.

———————————

The feeling of arms wrapping around me stirs my sleep, panic quickly taking over me. "Calm down, Bumble Bee," Shino's smooth voice fills my ears, easing the fear that was growing. "It's just me."

I'm calm for a second or two before a cough brews in my chest, threatening to give way to my developing illness.

I snap my eyes open, quickly scanning for any petals that might have slipped out as I slept. None fall into view, chilling my nerves again. The last thing Shino needs is to be stressing and worrying about me. Besides, Sakura said it should fix itself if I stop worrying. It's all mental.

My eyes flicker to the clock, four eleven. "You're home early," I mumble, trying to stay still in Shino's hold. Maybe he forgot about his after-work plans, though I'm not complaining. I'll take any extra time I can get, even if it's only long enough for his forgetfulness to clear up.

"I know," he answers, crawling into bed. Shino shifts around moving me across the bed as he settles next to me. "I don't feel the best. I am going to take a nap," he mutters, arms tucked around me again to further crush me into his chest.

Shino's fingertips ghost over my back, crawling across my shirt in different patterns. Soon his head dips down, nose shifting my hair out of the way. The material of his sunglasses rubs against my throat as he buries his head into my neck. He must feel really sick if he didn't take the time to change out of his day clothes before crawling into bed.

"Do you want me to make you some soup? It'll help you feel better," I ask, going to sit up to climb out of bed. Shino doesn't have time to be sick.

"No," He answers shortly, tightening his hold on me to pull me back down on the bed before I have the chance to get up. "It's nothing more than a fever. It'll go away after some rest. Rest with me, Bumble Bee."

"Alright," I mumble, curling back up on the mattress. I cuddle against him again, resting my head on his chest as his arms tie themselves around me.

———————————

I can feel the cough brewing in my chest as my eyes flutter open. It's difficult trying to fight the cough down. If I was sure Shino wasn’t still home I’d let it out.

My chest aches as I roll out of bed, my worries about Shino being sick and not loving me taking its toll on my body. As if my thoughts could talk, the bedroom door creaks open said bug boy poking his head into the room. "Good morning, Bumble Bee."

"Good morning," I call back, attempting to clear my throat to further push down the cough fit threatening to happen. "You're not even dressed," I point out, eyes jumping from the clock to Shino who's still in his bedclothes. "You're going to be late."

"One of my coworkers is covering the first hour of my day."

"Why?" I ask, ducking into the bathroom as the need to cough continues to grow.

"I did not set my alarm so I woke up late. When I called to let them know they said to take as much time as I need," Shino answers, his voice muffled by the doors and space between us.

"Well I'm sorry your morning started rough," I call back, raising my voice to make sure he can hear me. The louder volume forces a round of coughs out of me, pain ripping through me as petals flutter out.

A second, third, and fourth coughing fits fill the bathroom before Shino knocks on the door. "Are you alright, Bumble?"

I grip the sink, resting my weight against it as I try to catch my breath. "Ya... I'm... I'm alright, Shino," I answer, watery eyes scanning the small room. Three dozen or so petals litter the tiled floor, the before dots of blood now small pools coating the colorfulness.

"Well alright. Are you ready for breakfast?" He asks, softly knocking on the door.

"Yes, I'll be out in a second," I tell him, bending down and starting to collect the lilies. My lungs scream in pain as air filters through them, being hunched over to clean up my mess not helping.

Once the mess is cleaned up, petals thrown out and my blood splatters wiped up, I make my way out to the kitchen. The soft sizzling of the stove fills the space, the smell of bacon fighting for space as well. "Shino?"

"Bumble Bee?" He calls back, turning towards me. I swear some of the pain in my chest melts away when he looks at me, eyes uncovered and almost shiny as he takes me in. "I'm making you bacon and eggs. I hope that's alright."

"That's more than alright," I say, sliding over to stand next to him. "But you don't have to. I know you have a busy day, I can finish making myself breakfast."

"I'll finish making your breakfast," Shino mumbles, shifting away so I can't take the spatula from him. "Go sit down."

Reluctantly, I do as I'm told, sliding into a chair at the table. I settle my arms on the table, resting my head on them as I watch Shino cook. The worry of making his day worse swirls around my head, though it melts away when he turns towards me, a soft smile crawling on his face when his eyes meet mine.

It only takes a few more minutes for Shino to finish my breakfast. My plate is set on the table, the man leaning over me to set it down. "Your breakfast, Bumble," he mutters, hands resting on my shoulders as a kiss is pressed into my cheek. "I am going to get dressed, enjoy your food," he adds, kissing my other cheek before he leaves me in the kitchen.

My eyes flutter over my plate, scanning over the food that has waves of heat rolling off of them. I feel a bit guilty about my disease. How could I believe Shino doesn't love me when he does things like this for me?

Because this is the first time in almost two months he's paid any attention to me. Because yesterday was the first time in too long that he's been home right after work. Because now that he's feeling better I won't see much of him let alone have any of his attention.

Another coughing fit rams against my lungs, threatening to spill out as I pick up my fork. I need to keep my thoughts in check, they're only making my illness worse.

"Stop stressing about Shino so much."

Sakura's voice rings in my head as a cough wheezes out. My eyes trail after the yellow petal that spills free, watching it slowly float down to the table, settling next to the plate of food Shino made for me. Of course Shino loves me. He just has a lot of things on his plate right now. He loves me... I think.

———————————

My breathing sounds more like hissing as I lean against the Academy wall. Another three dozen or so petals are tangled at my feet, staining the road in the small pools of my blood.

Sakura gave me a doctor’s note to turn in so I could have some time off. A Shinobi that’s coughing up flowers and blood isn’t exactly useful. Hence, me being at the Academy.

I take a couple more swallow breaths, trying not to tempt another coughing attack to form. Once my breathing is settled for the hundredth time today, I push myself off the wall and head inside.

It’s a quick walk to the mission center, but it’s still a peaceful one. The sound of children, teachers, and classrooms buzzing filling the space there. At least until a door slams open.

A blonde boy with bright blue eyes stares at me. Whiskers are stamped into his face as well. Naruto couldn’t deny the kid as his if he tried. “Hello, Lady. Sensei wants you.”

“What?” I ask, taking a peak into the classroom. Shino is standing in front of the desk, glancing at the two of us now and again as he rambles on with his lesson.

“My Sensei wants you. Shino-Sensei. That guy,” the boy says, repeatedly pointing at Shino. “Aren’t you his girlfriend or whatever? You should know who he is. Unless it’s not true. Sensei?!” The boy leaves the door wide open, storming back in as he confronts his teacher about ‘lying’ to him about our relationship.

I slide into the room after the boy, a smile crawling on my face as I watch Shino defend himself in the verbal warfare Naruto’s son is throwing at him. Chocho - the chief’s granddaughter - is waving her hand like crazy at me, trying to catch my attention.

I wave back at her, getting a head tilt towards her teacher and childish kissy faces shot my way. My smile grows as I shift my shoulders up, playing into the clan’s princess’s game. Her nose scrunches up as she pretends to get sick, making me giggle silently. The quiet giggles make my lungs ache, a coughing fit trying to shove its way out of my mouth.

“Please go sit back down Boruto,” Shino grumbles, ducking behind his desk.

“But Sensei! You said anyone that spotted your girlfriend could get a piece of candy!” Naruto’s son - who he totally in character named after himself - whines, staying put in front of Shino’s desk.

Shino sighs, a piece of candy being tossed to the Hokage’s son before his head pops back over his desk. “So you have your kids playing look out today?” I tease, for once pain not bubbling in my chest. It makes me giddy knowing he talks about me to his students.

More giddiness only grows as Shino climbs back to his feet, a vase full of orchids in tow along with a sleek black box. “You didn’t take any missions yesterday so I assumed you would be around today,” he mumbles, walking towards me before leaning the flowers out towards me. “When you stopped in today I wanted to make sure I saw you. I don’t want the children ruining your flowers before I get home.”

His words come out monotone as ever but still manage to make my breathing seem easier. “Thanks, Shino, I appreciate the gestures,” I answer, taking the cooled vase from him. “I’ll let you get back to class. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“You’ll see me tonight.”

“But you told your dad - ”

“I will see you tonight,” Shino cuts me off, handing me the box before softly patting my head. His glasses settle their focus on my face, the dark lens making it impossible to figure out the exact spot they’re focused on. “My father can wait. I want to be with you tonight.” His fingers coast through my hair before a soft pat is placed against my cheek. A soft smile is sent my way before he turns on his heels, Sensei Shino back in control.

I blink a few times, my sights on the purple flowers poking out of the white vase. When my senses filter back in, I wave a quick goodbye to Chocho before leaving the room.

My walk is slower this time, making sure not to spill any water onto the mystery box as I head towards the mission center again.

———————————

My eyes fall down the mirror again, taking in the sundress I’ve put on. The flowy material is what Shino put into the mystery box. The dress is yellow, not my favorite but it fits with the nickname he has given me through our years together.

I figured with the fancy dress and the free time I have, I should try to look nice when he gets home, hence the done hair and light makeup.

“You are perfect,” Shino’s voice fills the room, startling me at the suddenness.

“Thank you.”

“You are beautiful,” he continues, his frame falling into view in the mirror. Shino’s glasses rest on top of his head, giving me the sight of his eyes that are jumping around my body. “We should go to dinner.”

“We should?”

Shino hums a yes, arms settling on my hips and tugging me backward so I’m pressed against him. “You look gorgeous. My partner is gorgeous. It would be a waste not enjoying your beauty,” he mutters, brushing kisses across my neck as his eyes continue to jump over the view of me in the mirror.

“You look lovely. You are exquisite. You are my everything,” Shino continues to drown me in whispered compliments, lips brushing across my jaw now. His hands rub soft circles against my stomach, his fingers nimble as they crawl across my dress. “My everything,” he repeats, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

I let myself relax against him, soaking in Shino’s undivided attention. As he toys with the hem of my dress, a thought filters into my head. I haven’t coughed up any petals since I visited the academy.

#naruto shippuden #naruto shippuden oneshot #naruto shippuden x reader #shino oneshot #shino aburame oneshot #shino aburame x reader #shino x reader #shino aburame

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straykidsmoonlight · 1 year

Text

SKZ react- they take their kids to work.

Please send any requests!!

I’m also now writing personalised stories for small tips… unemployment is real in my country… please message or ask (anons more than welcome) for more info!

Chan:

Definitely wakes up lonely knowing your on a business trip, pouting without his morning cuddles

Slowly, pulls himself out of bed, tired after a late night at the studio and worries about how to get all three kids in the car simultaneously

Once they arrive at the JYP building, Brandi and Karl immediately run to their favourite uncle, Jisung and clamber on his lap, while Chan carries your youngest baby in a carrier attached to his front.

Being so young, Libby still has lots of people to meet, so many of Chans colleagues stroll in and out as 3racha work, to cuddle with the newborn.

Chan keeps a watchful eye the whole time, always wary when it comes to his precious baby, can only fully concentrate when one of the members is holding her, knowing what amazing dads and uncles they were.

Lee Know:

Another one who hates starting the day without you

Sleepily drives Jeni to work, while you are staying overnight at the hospital with Byeol.

Carefully places Jeni on a sofa in the practice room, surrounded by blankets

100% bet none of the members can focus on the choreography all day… as the coo over Jeni, complimenting Lee Know on her cuteness as he goes all shy and blushy.

Just turns into a massive hugging session as the members pass round the little one for cuddles, as Minho captures the sweet moments on his phone.

Changbin:

Gets really nervous taking both kids out on his own.

Almost cried when you told him the kids would have to go to work with him.

As he tries to work on music, Jimin starts to fuss, and won’t stop crying no matter what Changbin does, while Hyungsik keeps getting bored.

Luckily Jeongin brought one of his kids, so Hyungsik and Jihae could play together

Ends up holding Jimin against his chest with one hand, while typing with the other, every so often looking down to check on her

Hyunjin:

Practically has a mental breakdown the second Cheon-Sa wakes up as he “literally cannot” find anything for his son to wear

Once he’s finally dressed, he gets to the studio where him and the guys are filming SKZ code.

All his uncles can be seen with huge smiles as Hyunjin walks in cradling his only baby.

Carefully hides Cheon-Sa’s face when the cameras are on, as he’s one of the members who doesn’t show his kids face.

All the comments on the video end up being about how adorable Cheon-sa is, and all Stays find watching him with his uncles and dad adorable 🤧

Han Jisung:

This is a perfect example of a child with children

Is completely lost without you while you’re spending time with your friends

Tumbled through the building’s doors with his daughters missing shoes 😭

Literally barley got anything recorded because he was so distracted by his girls. One moment he was racing Mae down the hallways, and the next he was falling asleep with Seol-a and Dani on the sofa

Cries tears of joy when you get home, exhausted from spending all day with his girls.

Lee Felix:

(This gif legit shows how I think he would talk to his kids😭)

Surprisingly really capable without you there, but this sunshine literally pines after you all day

Gets the kids to the JYP building just fine before he realises he’s forgot Milo’s Wolfchan 😭

Milo’s a quiet child, but you forget his his stuffie chan and he will lose it. Felix tries his very best to calm Milo while keeping a watchful eye on his younger baby Hanuel.

Physically cannot calm his son down, and has to call chan in to bring wolfchannie from felixs apartment, just for Milo to cling on to his uncle for the next three hours.

Seungmin:

You leave this man with your girls for two damn hours

He just lets his twins do whatever

Is so much of a pushover😭

The girls literally run around babbling away driving chan half insane (he loves his neices dont worry)

Seungmin just laughs away until one of the girls hits her head and he has to rush her to A and E. feels so bad

All is well, and you return home to Seungmin pretending nothing ever happened

Jeongin:

You are quite scared leaving Jeongin to take all five kids to work

This guy is a great dad though

Somehow managed to juggle a ton of hyper kids, all while recording music

In the end had to record the new song with Seom in his arms, meaning you can hear tiny teeny baby noises in the background of the new song.

Hyungs definitely stare proudly at the scene in front of them, and take tons of photos of their Maknae on top.

473 notes · View notes

1d1195 · 10 months

Text

Traditional XI

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

Thank you so much for the love and support on this story. She and Harry have definitely turned into one of my favorite couples I've had the pleasure of writing about. As an aside, I will be posting a long overdue "how my taglist works" (because I a tumblr-elder and don't know what I'm doing anymore). But for those of you that have been tagged throughout the series, please check out the message at the bottom.

This is the final part (not including the extras I have lined up.) There's a bit of angst and a good bit of fluff. It follows part ten immediately and I also continued with marking the days/time because I think it made it a bit easier to follow.

Truly, really, thank you so much. Part 1-11 is 67k words and I’ve enjoyed typing each one. I hope you continue to enjoy reading. Without further ado:

“She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

Monday

“I’ll kill him,” Louis shouted, almost proudly as he entered the apartment. She shook her head and just burst into tears as she told him about all the things Harry did. While he was prepared to murder him, Louis’ heart softened with each task Harry completed to make sure his best friend was cared for. It was everything he ever hoped for the girl he thought of as one of his own sisters. He wouldn’t kill Harry. He couldn’t...not if he did all that for her.

Eleanor combed her fingers through her hair while the poor girl cried in her lap. Louis was frowning, glancing at Eleanor every so often as she spoke. “Babe,” Louis whispered when she finished her story.

She sniffled. “I don’t know why I did that,” she croaked. “That was so stupid, who does that? You should have seen the look on his face. He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Of course, he will,” Eleanor said easily shaking her head. Her voice was so solid, like she had already talked to Harry about it and knew with every fiber of her being. Louis crouched beside her wiping the tears out of her eyes as comfortingly as he could. “Harry loves you, darling,” Eleanor reminded her.

“Why was I so mean?” She choked on another sob. “I’d hate me. I was so heartless.”

“You were overwhelmed, love,” Eleanor promised. “That was a lot to take in, all in one day. But he meant the best and brightest for you. You have to believe that. Harry has never done anything but try to make sure you’re taken care of.”

She took in a shaking breath as more tears poured out of her; she was so unhappy with how she handled the whole day. Maybe she was overwhelmed. That would at least have made some sense. There was so much to be overwhelmed about. Everything she had been bottling up. All of which was threatening to burst because it just had to be one of those weeks where it all just piled and piled until it all crumbled down.

“Babe,” Louis whispered trying to stop the tears from falling but failing because they kept coming faster than he could swipe her cheeks. “C’mon.”

“I know you all went to the funeral for my dad,” she sniffled. She may as well have wallowed in the hurt a bit more. They needed to know she knew. “I know they had one...I saw it in the online obituary.”

They were silent for a minute. Louis didn’t move his eyes from hers for a moment. He pressed his lips together in a thin line. So of course, she knew she was right. They did hide it from her.

However, Louis wasn’t going to forget that she let them hide it. He stared at Eleanor for a moment; having some silent conversation that only the two of them could have. The entire time she continued crying. Eleanor gave her a comforting squeeze as best she could with her sprawled across her lap.

“I think you’re scared,” Eleanor whispered without addressing her comment about the services.

“El,” Louis’ voice wasn’t a whisper like it had been directed at the sobbing girl. His tone wasn’t gentle. It was like he was warning her not to continue.

“Scared of what?” She sniffed because she may have heard the warning in Louis’ voice, but she was already miserable. It couldn’t be worse than what she felt.

“Tell her, Louis. Tell her,” Eleanor begged. She turned her attention back to her best friend.

Louis reminded her so much of her brother, she wondered if he would have been as wise as Louis was if he were still around. Even for the goofball he made himself out to be, Louis was nearly sagely at his age. He was the one she went to for advice. The one she asked for help when she needed to get Harry a birthday gift. If she was stuck in the middle of nowhere, she was pretty sure she would still call Louis first. He was her best friend because he always knew what to say to her and even if it was hard to hear he always told her the hard truths.

She could see on his face that it was going to hurt to lay whatever he was about to say in front of her if only because she was already so heartbroken. “Being cared for,” he bit the inside of his lip, but he didn’t break his gaze with her. “You think it’s a death sentence,” he told her. His tone was soothing, even though the words were not. “Because when your brother came to get you, he tragically died. Don’t think I’m forgetting that. But then, your parents stopped caring for you...so it was like...you associated the two,” he explained. “And then, you didn’t tell me. So, in your mind, caring for you is a death sentence for those that love you.”

She was speechless. Her sniffles slowed, which allowed her to sit in the upright position, but Eleanor still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. She swallowed as she listened to him speak without hiccupping on her breath. “Do you really think we wouldn’t have let you live with us?” Eleanor asked softly from beside her. “The only one that thought you needed to get your own space was you...and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you got Harry out of the deal, but you could have lived with us for forever,” she smiled gently at her.

She stared at the two of them and Louis looked at her tear-stained face with a frown. “Love,” he said so gently. “You have spent so long building up walls making sure you take care of everyone in your life because the last time you stopped taking care of someone else and had fun of your own, something horrible and tragic happened,” She looked away from him, sniffling uncontrollably. “But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. No matter how many times your mum says it was...no matter how many times you sit next to his gravestone and feel guilty for it. He would have gone and got you and he would have turned that steering wheel to protect you over, and over, and over again,” she couldn’t look at Louis when he talked about it. It was his best friend, and she just took him away forever...all for a party. “I would have done it for you, babe,” he promised. She hated the idea of that too so much that she let out another whimpering sob. “Now, so would Harry,” he told her, and the pang of anxiety at the mere idea Harry would fatally hurt for her rippled all through her body she felt sick at the idea...it hurt all the way to her toes and made her fingertips feel numb.

But Louis pressed on making it hurt even more but with every intention of making it better. “You can’t keep your guard up forever. You can’t stop people from taking care of you because you miss him and worry about the consequences of them taking care of you,” he said. “We all take that risk for someone we love,” he brushed the tears off her cheeks once more as they were finally slowing to a pace he could keep up with. She refused to look at him. But Louis wouldn’t accept that. “Babe,” he said turning her chin back to him. “Let someone else take care of you. Let Harry do it. You’ve done it for long enough.”

Tuesday

Niall found Harry throwing the lamp on his desk against the wall of his office so hard he was surprised the wall didn’t shatter. But the lamp certainly did. Nearly splintered into a hundred pieces. He flopped into his desk chair and hung his head practically between his knees.

“Christ, the two of you today,” he grumbled hoping to find Harry in better shape than his typically better mood intern. Obviously, that would not be the case. “What’s wrong?” He asked, closing the door.

Harry ran a hand over his face. He wanted to cry but he was at work, and he shouldn’t have. “She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

His gaze snapped up to Niall and he mouthed the word whoa. If Niall said it out loud, he didn’t hear it. He was shocked by the redness of Harry’s eyes, the withdrawn look. He knew it was bad when she could hardly keep track of what she was doing this morning. It was worse than when her coffee spilled all over her things a few months ago.

But seeing his best friend so distressed…

He was awarded the slightest bit of relief to hear the word “no” at the other end. It washed over him as he rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, alright. Thanks,” he mumbled hanging up. He sat in his chair, and he glanced at Niall balling his hands into fists. “She gave back all the money,” he mumbled.

Niall did the easy and quick calculations in his head regarding the last eight or so months. “Whoa.”

Harry told him all about the reference calls, the graduation ceremony, and the lawyers’ meeting with her mum, and the good news. He told Niall how he paid for her student loans and kept all of it hidden from her. Harry tried to hide the tears in his eyes, but Niall knew they were there in his voice as he listened.

“Harry...you gotta just talk to her.”

“M’pretty sure she hates me.”

“That’s a load of shit, alright,” Niall said knowingly. “She loves you.” Harry felt his heart hoping a bit by way of fluttering against his ribs. He shook his head. He didn’t want to hope because she looked betrayed, and it was all his fault. Niall shook his head. “She’s all snively and you’re all angry. You two are quite the pair. You could have a show.”

He wanted to throw something at Niall, but he was too exhausted to hold his head up, let alone hold anything worth throwing—and he wouldn’t really throw something at his best friend. So, he sat there, devastated that she gave him the money back. It worried him to the core. It seemed his new fear of her leaving that apartment was going to be real, sooner rather than later.

And if she left Styles Incorporated…

“She said that you needed this today,” Niall shrugged and put a folder on Harry’s desk in front of him. He winced knowing she was still helping even when she was upset with him. “Tragic that I have to play messenger,” he shook his head. “I hope you talk to her.”

But Harry didn’t want to press. It was obvious he pressed too much and now he had to wait for her to forgive him.

Maybe.

Wednesday

She didn’t come to work.

There was nothing else to say.

There was nothing he could think about except that she didn’t come to work.

He didn’t get to see her. All day and an entire near-sleepless night. He impulsively shopped for items scheduled to be delivered the following day. Items he didn’t need but he needed to get for her...even if she never set foot in his house again.

There was nothing else he could think about.

Thursday

Niall brought his tea to him that afternoon.

So, a new nightmare plagued him, and he continued to think of nothing else but the distance she was putting between them.

Friday

For the second time in his life, and moreover, the second time within a year, Harry left work early. Niall was insistent. He was agitated beyond belief, his one meeting he was completely distracted that Niall did most of the talking. Harry’s company was substantial, but surely, she couldn’t avoid him on the entire floor.

But she did. She managed somehow to avoid him even when he kept going in and out of Niall’s office and thereby walking through her little space. But she wasn’t there a single of the seven or so times he walked through. At one point he walked in for the sake of walking in. Niall was on the phone with a client. Harry just shook his head and left before even registering the fact Niall was there.

It was after the meeting that Niall encouraged him to leave for the day. “I don’t need to,” he snapped at his friend. “Jus’ get on with it,” he muttered.

Niall sighed, blew a long breath out his mouth. He packed his belongings from off the table and patted Harry on the back. “Meeting’s over, Harry,” he said and left him alone in the conference room.

He knew he was in tough shape but not even realizing the meeting was over seemed bad even for the way he was feeling. Rubbing the back of his head, he headed once more to Niall’s office. This time he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t there. Harry apologized to Niall quickly, returned to gather his stuff from his office, and left for home.

“Harry went home, so you don’t have to keep hiding,” Niall rolled his eyes as she tentatively tiptoed into her office. He didn’t look up, so he didn’t see the way she nearly dropped all of the papers in her arms at Niall’s sudden (accurate) accusation that she was hiding.

She bit her lip and put the papers on her desk. Niall didn’t look up as she walked toward his desk. “I yelled at him,” she whispered.

“Good, he probably deserved it,” Niall said simply. “People don’t yell at him enough. Think because he’s CEO, he’s without a flaw,” he shrugged. “He’s not, I’ve never seen him finish one document on his own because he never remembers how to fill it out. The man can’t multiply to save his life—I always do the tip at the restaurant. He has a terrible signature on contracts. It’s embarrassing to sign my name next to his. Also, he has a terrible handicap even though he’s been golfing for at least seven or so years now,” he said as if that should be the reason that she could yell at him. He looked up and smiled at her because it was an attempt to make her laugh but didn’t seem to do the trick.

“He’s also really cranky when he doesn’t see you at night now,” this was much softer said. His voice quiet as he further explained this. “And he bothers me. Called me at one in the morning last night asking if I wanted a porch swing. Do you know he has an online shopping problem? It’s worst when he's upset. He panic-ordered three sets of dishware when you got burned,” he continued. Her heart fluttered at the mention of a porch swing. It shot through her like a bolt of electricity. That was because of her. She knew it. But Niall’s attempt still got him not even a smirk. “You should probably go after him,” he smiled at her sadly once more. “You need to talk to him.”

She shook her head. “He won’t forgive me.��

Niall rolled his eyes again. “Would you forgive him if this whole crazy scenario was reversed?”

She looked at her feet because she wouldn’t even need to forgive him. It would be a non-issue. “I see why Harry made you his sous-chef around here,” she muttered...because yes, of course she would. Probably before he even tried to apologize, at that.

“I knew there was a reason,” he winked at her. “Have a lovely weekend, darling,” he said going back to the documents on his desk.

“Are you sure?” She whispered after a moment.

“He loves you. I promise.”

“But all the other interns...the...companions. I’d be no different falling all over him.”

“He fell for you long before you did,” he told her simply.

She swallowed, blushing at the notion. Her stomach flipped with hope. “Do you know he went to the funeral?” She whispered.

Niall frowned because he didn’t know that, but he did know that had to hurt her. He looked back up to meet her gaze and he smiled gently at her. “Another reason you should yell at him.”

“You’re a really good friend, Niall,” she rolled her eyes.

“Can’t wait to be one of your best friends, love,” he winked.

She took one more deep breath, hurried over to Niall’s desk. She kissed his cheek as he worked. He smiled. “Sorry I’m taking your job,” she whispered to him.

He threw his head back a bit and laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” but he didn’t mind, really. It would be worth it to have her around.

The driver was waiting at the edge of the cemetery. She took her wedges off so she wouldn’t get them covered in dirt as she sat cross-legged on the ground. She fiddled with the flowers—Eleanor probably planted them. Or maybe even her mom. She was surprised because there weren’t as many weeds pushing through the ground as there should have been—especially when she took notice of the other stones nearby. “I think you’d really like him,” she whispered. Of course, there was no response. “Louis likes him,” she told him. “So...there’s that,” she shrugged. “And he has a porch swing,” she added. “We’re not even together and he still didn’t cheat on me, so he beat the last guy, y’know?” she smirked sadly. “I wish you could’ve met him...”

She paused, looking around the grounds for a moment before she continued. “If you look, you can see a car over there, yeah? That poor man has to follow me everywhere because Harry doesn’t want me to get stuck without a ride in inclement weather or something,” she whispered, smiled sadly. “I’m so in love with him, I swear I can feel it in the atoms of my heart,” her eyes watered. “I gave him all the money back. I want him to know that I’m not...I don’t want money. I just want him,” she told him. “I know you would probably hate the idea of me being in love with anyone...but at least I waited until college...poor El stuck with Louis for the rest of her life,” she sighed as if it really were a tragedy. But it wasn’t. She loved Eleanor and Louis so much.

“Niall said he’s really bad at golf though, so you could still make fun of him about something,” she let out a watery laugh. “I miss you...so much,” she whispered. “I hope Dad is happy again,” she glanced over at the nearby plot of land. “He missed you,” she sniffled. “We all miss you,” her voice cracked. “Okay...I’m gonna go grovel for forgiveness, now,” she said. “I’ll see you soon,” she kissed two of her fingers and pressed them over his name before getting off the ground, brushing the dirt off, and headed for the car.

“Are you alright, Miss?” He asked with the utmost concern. He was opening the door for her as she approached.

She nodded, sniffling, and wiping her eyes. “For now,” she sighed. “Can you bring me to Harry’s?” She asked.

Harry didn’t want to answer the door. But whoever was on the other side knocked, then rang the doorbell. Knocked again. Doorbell again. Persistent.

If it was Niall coming to console him, he was going to kill him, simple as that. “For fucks sake,” he grumbled marching to the door in an angry fit. “Niall, y’made me leave early, and I did. What d’you want?” He snapped loud enough to hear through the door before ripping it out of the way.

She flinched at his harsh tone. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked so defeated as she turned her gaze to the ground. His heart hammered against his ribs in total shock that she was there. Left him utterly speechless. “I know this is stupid...” she started. “I’m sorry. It’s not enough because you deserve so much more than sorry. It’s never going to be enough, but I am so... very sorry. I was...” she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I was. What I said was so hurtful and so untrue. You have to believe that,” she was staring at her feet while she spoke. “Harry,” her voice cracked, and she was so worried it wasn’t enough. He didn’t make any noise and she was certain if he didn’t forgive her, she would die in that spot. “I know you didn’t mean anything by what you did other than to help me. But I don’t accept help very well... in case it wasn’t obvious. Especially when it comes to something like...my career or my...past,” she explained. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you; I shouldn’t have said such awful things and I would time travel back to that moment and slap myself for even thinking about speaking to you like that. It was horrible,” she shook her head. “I’ll beg every day for as long as you want if you’ll forgive me,” she whispered. “I am—”

Harry pulled her into his arms suddenly, one arm around her waist, the other snaking up her back to hold the back of her head. He clutched her against him as tightly as he could without hurting her or inhibiting her breathing. “You were already forgiven,” he murmured breathing deeply into her hair. He kissed the side of her face. She released a long breath and buried her face against the side of his neck.

“You shouldn’t give in so easily,” she sniffled clinging back to him like he was a buoy. Of course, he kept her afloat.

“I’ll yell at you later if that’ll make you feel better.”

She nodded. “It really would.”

He smiled, kissed the side of her head again. Harry wouldn’t yell at her if his life depended on it. “I jus’ want t’take care of you,” he promised. “That’s it.”

“I know, you told me that first day you messaged me.” He smirked thinking about how a year ago, she wasn’t in his mind at all. He didn’t even know she existed. Now, he thought about spending one second without her beside him and it seemed like full-blown torture. “Louis said I take care of everyone else because the last time someone cared about me, they died,” she said bluntly. “Seven years of therapy and Louis was the only one who said it,” she muttered. Harry was glad she was tucked below his chin because he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. It was incredible she could make a joke in even the saddest of circumstances. She took a shivering, heaving breath. Harry tried to pull back so he could see her, but she squeezed him in place. Like she didn’t want to say it while looking at him. He nodded in encouragement for her to continue. “People will know if you hire me. You’d literally be making a position for me. And so… I thought if I got a job elsewhere... we could…” she swallowed the lump in her throat. She tucked her face deeper in his shoulder. “I…uh...”

He pulled back this time and didn’t stop when she tried to hold him in place. He pressed his hand to the side of her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “Thought we could be a real couple?” He asked softly.

Her cheeks turned red as ever and she nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

He didn’t pause for even half a second. He didn’t want her to make her feel embarrassed or worried about anything regarding their future. “Kitten, m’so in love with you, I don’t care if we tell the entire world. I don’t care if everyone knows or if no one knows. All that matters t’me is that I love you so much.”

Her eyes watered and her heart melted. She didn’t know how to tell him she loved him so much it hurt but he said it so beautifully and without a care. She didn’t know how to articulate it as perfectly as he did. “They should really put a warning on that site about how you may accidentally find your soul mate.”

He managed to smile this time for just a mere moment as she spoke; his heart skipped beats waiting for her to say she loved him back. While she didn’t say it exactly as he thought she would (but when did she ever do what he expected?), it was exactly what he wanted her to say and meant just as much if not even more.

Then he kissed her so deeply he thought he might bruise her lips. But if he did, he thought she might not even mind.

Harry lifted her legs, so they were wrapped around his hips. He carried her all the way to the kitchen, pausing only to kick the door closed. He settled her on the counter and started looking for some medicine. He didn’t ask if her head hurt because the redness in her eyes told him it was aching.

“You have t’take the money back,” Harry said leaning down to take her shoes off as she swallowed the medicine. He tossed them toward the TV room. “I shattered a lamp over it,” he stood back up and kissed her again on the forehead.

“Niall told me,” she smirked at him. He stood between her knees.

“Can’t have any secrets with him,” Harry muttered.

She giggled and Harry pressed his lips to hers again then pulled back so he could hold her face between his hands. He smiled at her with a shake of his head. “God, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled.

“Mm... the bloodshot eyes? The tired dark circles? The gray skin? That does it for you?”

“M-hmm,” he pressed his nose along the side of her face inhaling the mixture of her hair and soap. He didn’t cater to her insults to herself. “Take the money back,” he mumbled into her ear and pressed a series of kisses down the length of her neck. She shook her head trying to ignore the dizziness she felt from his lips on her skin. “Please kitten,” he was begging. Objectively, it was adorable. But she couldn’t accept it.

“Baby, you can’t pay me a salary, pay my student loans, and let me live here all—”

“You’re going t’live here?” He pulled back from her neck suddenly with a sparkle in his eyes that made it look like he was a little kid. Like it was Christmas, and he was getting the sled he asked for.

Her face was definitely not gray at that moment. She was completely blushing almost beyond recognition at her mistaken words. She shook her head quickly, trying to backtrack (uselessly). “No! I meant the apartment! I didn’t say that—”

“Please, please, please,” he now for sure, full-on begged. “Please live here, kitten.”

Her heart fluttered and she bit her lip trying to recover from how much she had revealed by accident. “Well...what am I supposed to do with all my great IKEA furniture?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his face back into her neck. She wrapped her arms and legs around him clinging to him. “Throw it out, of course.”

“You’re so mean.”

He nodded against her and sighed, so happy she was there. So happy she was all his. “The meanest,” he assented. “Please live here,” he mumbled kissing the curve where her shoulder and neck met.

“You do have a porch swing,” she amended verbally but as if she were weighing the consideration in her head. His lips on her skin had such an effect on her it was hard to stand her ground or concentrate on joking around with him about the idea. “Speaking of—Niall told me you asked if he wanted one. Are you getting a new one or someth—what’s that?” She asked, glancing out the window as she spoke. She pushed him away immediately, rushing outside. She stood on his porch in total shock staring at his newest purchase before she turned back to him with a curious expression.

He followed behind her and stood in the doorway. “You said you would sleep out here if you could,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d make it possible...in case you ever came back.”

Where her favorite porch swing used to hang, was now a spacious, gorgeous, porch bed with so many pillows, so many blankets, and it nearly looked comfier than her lovely mattress back at the apartment. Her eyes watered and she swallowed so hard because she knew she had said that nearly three months ago in passing. And he remembered. So even when she wasn’t speaking to him, it was enough that he did something for her without knowing if she’d really be back. “You are something else, Harry.”

“Wait till y’see my new canopy bed,” he smirked feeling his cheeks warm at her compliment. Her heart nearly stopped because the canopy was mentioned almost nine months ago and the idea that he remembered anything from nine months ago was...well it was very Harry and very perfect.

“Baby, I love you and your impulse shopping so very much,” she whispered unable to look away from that beautiful reminder of how much he adored her. It made her feel so light that he cared for her so much. Now that he did, it was hard to imagine not feeling like this ever again.

Harry had other ideas though. He twisted her so quickly, her breath caught in her throat. He turned her back to face him and not the new bed. One arm wrapped around her waist, and he brought his other hand to her cheek in the one instant that she couldn’t even stumble because Harry had such a tight hold on her. He smiled at her, as if he was just told he won the lottery. Truly, he felt like he did. “Say it again,” he mumbled pressing his forehead to hers, his lips almost brushing hers as he spoke. She smiled shyly, the heat coming from her cheek warmed Harry’s hand.

“Say what? I love you?” She asked looping her arms loosely around his neck. He nodded silently and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you,” she grinned so cutely Harry thought he would burst.

“Again,” he mumbled smiling as he carefully squeezed around her waist to lift her just so her toes hovered above the ground. She giggled.

“I love you.”

He kissed her left cheek. “More,” he inched toward the new outdoor bed.

“I love you,” she whispered, giggling more at his sweet request as he kissed her right cheek.

“Again,” he repeated.

“I love you, so, so much Harry Styles,” she whispered, holding his face between her hands, and Harry laid her back on the bed and kissed her again, fully on the lips with no intention of leaving that space for the rest of the weekend. Or until she asked to go see the canopy bed.

Whatever she wanted.

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#harry #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles blurbs #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #ceo!harry #sugardaddy!harry #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #one direction #one direction writing #tradtional

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tojiscumdumpster · 4 months

Text

CHAPTER TEN - READER

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

I shouldn’t be nervous. I’ve been on plenty of first dates before, so my dating life isn’t completely non-existent. It’s just been a while. But the men that I have gone out with haven’t been Toji Fushiguro.

Okay, so maybe I am a bit nervous.

Despite all the small interactions me and Toji had these past two weeks, I still find myself overthinking about our date.

I mean, everything should go fine, yes? What difference would it make if this wasn’t considered a date and just another spontaneous meeting?

It’s not, Y/N.

I know, but it feels different because we agreed to get to know each other. This man, that I barely know yet feels awfully familiar, manages to put butterflies in my stomach. He kisses me in a way that feels light, and holds me possessively to make me feel like I’m his. And I may be looking ahead of myself, but I wouldn’t mind if he considers me that.

Something about Toji feels right, like I’m almost positive everything will go well between us the more we open up. But Toji isn’t the only one who feels skeptical about this either.

The last time I felt this quickly about someone, I ended up getting my heart broken. That someone being, Nanami.

And knowing me, if I fall in love, I fall hard. . . I want that same sentiment. Nanami gave it to me, but it wasn’t consistent and it didn’t last.

Toji? Well, my heart might be taking a risk if I end up falling in love with a single dad who’s a widow. Let’s also not forget I’m his son’s high school reading teacher.

A lot of what ifs, maybes, and mishaps can happen between us. However, I’m willing to see what happens.

I can’t allow my hesitancy to prevent me from trying because there’s just something about Toji Fushiguro that I get enough of.

While I was finishing up getting ready, I heard a knock at my door.

“Seven-thirty. Oh, he’s early,” I mutter to myself, looking at the time.

Before I go to answer, I take a quick look in the mirror.

Toji didn’t tell me where we’re going or what we’re doing, but I took the hint of him saying I need energy to not wear anything too formal or heels.

So my outfit is simple.

I feel really pretty wearing a white ruffle crop top that sits off my shoulders and pairing it with a russet brown high slit skirt.

I kept my makeup natural, but went a little bolder with my lips by coating them with a brown gloss. And my hair? The wash-and-go I did a few days ago is still on my side, so I just fluffed out my curls with a pick.

I was too busy admiring myself in the mirror, I almost forgot Toji was waiting for me.

Quickly I grabbed my purse and phone to answer the door and I couldn’t prevent my mouth from spreading into a smile upon seeing him.

Can this man get any finer?

I’ve never dated a man where we had a huge age difference, let alone twelve years, but it seems like I was missing out because who knew forty-two could look that good.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Fushiguro.” Immediately his masculine, amber and woody musk scent permeates my senses. Then, I take in his appearance.

How his physique fills out the white sweater and black jeans he’s wearing makes me wet beyond measure. Especially when I know what he looks like underneath. Well, at least not all underneath.

But it looks like I’m not alone with admiring how one looks.

Toji hasn’t said a word to me. He barely acknowledged that I spoke to him, however, the look in his eyes…how he’s staring at me, studying my body and what I’m wearing…

If he keeps looking at me like that, I can guarantee you I’ll say fuck this date and pull him into my apartment.

I’m very tempted, too, since it’s been a while.

“I’m assuming I dressed up nice?” I asked suggestively.

“You’re beautiful.” Not you look, but you are.

His admission makes my cheeks hot.

“Thank you,” I replied while tucking a curl behind my ear. “You came early, I see.”

“Hope that’s okay? Just didn’t feel like waiting another thirty minutes.”

It’s more than okay.

“You’re fine.”

He gives me a small smile. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let me just grab my things-” If I said I wasn’t nervous, I would be lying because I already have my purse and phone in my hand. “Actually, never mind. I have everything I need.” He gives me a curt nod and waits for me to lock my door.

As we’re walking toward the elevator, Toji’s hand rests on the curve of my back like it’s second nature to him. And it could just be the natural thing to do, guiding me through the halls, despite this being my apartment building.

But it’s those small gestures that are most effective to me.

I show little to no reaction to what his hand on my bare skin does to me. How it transfers warmth to my body and spreads goosebumps across it. It feels good.

Territorial and protective.

I’m not sure where this night with Toji will take me, but I’m ready to see.

Never in a million years would I ever deem Toji Fushiguro to be the type to plan a picnic. Yet here we are.

For a man that claims he’s not looking for a relationship, he sure is making it hard for me to not fall in love with him, especially in this setting. How the sky is a perfect shade of midnight that’s accompanied by the stars and moon, makes it more intimate.

The night isn’t too cold. A soft breeze and lingering heat from earlier today.

Though, what’s making this scenery better is Toji’s pale complexion that contrasts perfectly with the time of day. To think his rich shade of green hues would be complimented the most in the sun, here I am at night being proved wrong.

“A picnic, Mr. Fushiguro? Seems pretty intimate. Don’t you think?” I opted to break the silence because if I stared at this ridiculously attractive man, he would’ve noticed if he hadn’t already.

A small smile curves on his face. “I don’t like being around people when I don’t have to.”

“Oh. Is that your only reason?”

“No, I wanted you alone to myself because I don’t need a fucking server in our faces every two seconds asking if we need refills or a dessert.”

Alone time with you is what I’m worried about.

In more ways than one, Toji has shown me how territorial he can be, and it does not work in my favor when I happen to be turned on by it.

I clear my throat. “Hm, I see.”

“Besides, pretty sure my cooking tastes much better than whatever restaurant I would’ve taken you to.” I watch him unpack a few bento boxes and plastic cups to fill our drinks with. He opted for apple cider and I’m completely only with that, given the fact that Toji doesn’t drink.

He continues, “I hope you don’t mind Japanese food.”

“Absolutely not. That’s the only thing I miss about my ex, and one of the many things I miss about living in Japan. The amount of cuisines I had access to,” I tell him. “It’s so fresh and savory.”

While I ramble about my love for his culture’s food, I notice a tick in his jaw and his blank expression. Am I…

“Sorry, am I talking too much?”

“No,” he deadpans.

“Why the sudden change-”

“Your ex. This is the second time you brought him up. On top of that, you said you miss him.”

It completely slipped my mind that I have mentioned Nanami twice in my passing conversation with Toji.

Way to freaking blow it, Y/N. You haven’t had a relationship with anyone else in years and here you go bringing up your ex-fiancé while you’re on a date.

Has dating always been this nerve wrecking?

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Make me jealous?” He interjects. Those were not the words I was going to say.

“No? Why would I try to? And why would you be?”

“Why would I be jealous of another fucker experiencing you?” He asks sarcastically. “Miss L /N, I’m sure you can figure that out.”

He’s… jealous? There’s no way this should be turning me on right now, but of course my thighs subtly rubbing together couldn’t make it more evident.

“I’ll be more cautious.”

The tension and dead silence between us is thick, but not in a bad way. What I’ve come to learn about Toji in all our interactions is that he's an open book. Whatever’s on his mind, whether it’s something sexual or about his personal life, he tells me.

Those hues that remind me of the rainforest, jade and earth like, tells me. They hold power, darkening while leisurely ogling my body, slowly trailing up and down my curves until they meet with my eyes once more.

Whenever Toji looks at me like that, my heart pounds against my chest and sensation builds between my legs. He has no shame from looking at me with such animalistic hunger.

It… entices me.

Does he not know what this does to me?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask breathlessly.

“Like what?”

“Like you want to devour me.”

All Toji does is trace his bottom lip with his tongue and hums.

Gosh, I need this man so fucking badly.

“How was your day?” He chooses to ignore my question. A first from him, actually.

I tuck a curl behind my ear. “It was fine. Work was work.”

He sighs. “Wish I could say the same.”

“Something happened?”

He takes the apple cider out of the chiller and pours a glass for me before pouring one of his own. Our fingertips graze and a touch as simple as that has chills running down my spine.

“The owner sold the club to a new fucker and it seems like the gods are fucking with me.”

“How so? The new owner is a douche?” I ask, causing him to let out an incredulous chuckle.

“More than that. The-” He stops short of sentence, contemplating if he wants to tell me what’s on his mind.

“You don’t have to tell me, Toji. It’s okay,” I reassure him.

“No, it’s fine. It’s just—thinking about my life back in Japan puts me in a shitty mood.”

I place my hand on his thigh to give him a comforting squeeze. Again, we sat in silence for a bit until he decided to tell me about what happened at work.

My expression remains neutral while Toji tells me about someone from his family that disowned him is the one who purchased the club. Apparently a cousin he didn’t know even existed.

He doesn’t go too much into detail about his family history, but my stomach is filled with disgust hearing that his uncle is practically forcing the kids to get married and make babies. All for the sake of fucking keeping a generation alive.

Yet my heart breaks for Toji knowing that’s the type of environment he grew up in.

I can tell that definitely affected his fathering to Megumi.

“Oh… wow. That’s-”

“Sad?” He attempts to finish for me.

“No. Well, I mean, yeah. But I was going to say how shitty your family is. You didn’t deserve that.”

He chuckles, stuffing a rice ball in his mouth. “How do you know what I deserve?”

“I don’t, but it’s definitely not trauma from people that’s supposed to love and protect you.”

Toji stops chewing for a moment, like he’s trying to process what I said, but quickly gathered himself together.

“That’s how they treat the fuck up.”

I grab his chin to hold and force him to look at me. “Hey, what did I tell you about being kind to yourself?”

His eyes slightly widen while locking with mine as if he’s in disbelief from what I said. Or I don’t know, maybe because I grabbed his face.

It might’ve been bold for me to do that, especially knowing Toji is affected by my touch as well, but I refuse to hear him belittle himself like that.

I’ve had my fair share of pain over the years, but it isn’t nearly enough or comparable to what Toji had or has to endure.

I just hate seeing the people I care about talk down on themselves. And despite us barely knowing each other, Toji Fushiguro is definitely on my list.

His face softens. “You bossing me around now, Miss L /N?” The tenderness and earnestness in his voice makes my stomach flutter.

“If that’s what it takes to get through that big head of yours, then yeah,” I answer, playfully letting go of his chin to push his face away. I attempt to take a sip of my apple cider, but Toji latches onto my hand to hold against his lips.

“Okay,” is all he says. That simple response that spreads warmth beneath my cheeks and has me internally squealing like a little girl in a candy store.

Thirty minutes into our date and I already want to be lovey dovey with him by showering him with kisses.

I can only imagine how long I’ll have until I can no longer control myself.

The time goes by smoothly with Toji and I. After eating his delicious food and having comfort conversations, I’ve never felt more relaxed.

It’s been awhile since I felt this way, like the world doesn’t exist. That’s what happens when I’m around him. We just… talk. More so, me, and he does all the listening, occasionally putting his input or talking about himself.

I’ve learned a lot about Toji within these past few hours. His guilty pleasure in gambling, which I don’t mind because betting on horse races is pretty normal. Being able to witness Toji yelling like an obsessed fan is a sight worth seeing.

However, I think my favorite part of our conversations is seeing how his face lights up and softens when talking about his son.

Usually, he tells me what pains him when it comes to his relationship with Megumi, but this time, I’m gifted with the happy moments Toji remembers.

Like when he was born or even down to the first word he spoke in English. I wish Toji had my eyes so he could see how he looks whenever he talks about him.

Despite his current strained relationship with his son, I know Toji is trying his best to be a father to him. I can’t help but look at him with such affection.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” The smile on his face makes me believe he’s mocking me when I asked the same question earlier.

“It’s a crime for me to look at you?”

“With those eyes? Yeah,” he answers, continuously massaging my thigh.

I giggle. “And what kind of eyes are mine?”

“Brown. Beautiful. Soft. Pretty enough to make a fucker weak in the knees.” He tells me this with no hesitation and it catches me off guard.

I’m lost for words.

“I… just enjoy hearing you talk, especially about Megumi. It feels humbling.”

He hums. “I think having a kid makes you feel that way. I truly was a fucking train wreck before I met his mother and had him. Enough motivation to be better. To do better.”

“Can I know more about her?”

By how his hand stops midway while rubbing my thigh, I know he knows who I mean by her.

Instant regret hits me because I feel like I overstepped a boundary. Toji doesn’t look at me, but there’s a smile on his face. I quickly spew out an apology, however, he reassures me that I’m okay.

“It’s not you, just… not now. Maybe another time,” he says, resuming his massages. “C’mon, Y/N. I know better than to talk about my late wife while I’m on a date. Cut me some slack.”

I place my palm against his cheek to rub his flesh with my thumb. “I know she meant a lot to you.”

“Yeah, she did… But I think I have another person who’s starting to mean something to me, too.”

“Yeah?” I question, smiling. “Who?”

“My son’s reading teacher. She’s fucking hot and has a nice ass.” I playfully swat his chest, earning me a hearty chuckle from him. “Just being honest.”

“Whatever.”

“Yeah, whatever?” I don’t know where it started, but suddenly Toji leaned forward, leaving but a breath away from kissing.

I look at him through lidded eyes, altering my attention between his irises and his lips. No drinking has been done, but I feel drunk off his energy.

How he looks at me. Talk to me. The way his hand goes up and down my thigh slowly, intimately, creeping closer to my center that I know is currently pooling wetness.

Toji Fushiguro knows the effect he has on me. He freaking made me come from just drying humping. Every night I visualize him between my legs, licking and sucking until I’m writhing above him. To fuck me so passionately and aggressively with his cock until I’m begging for more.

I want him to imprint my insides. I want to be desired and worshiped by this man. I can’t help but look deprived by fisting his sweater to pull him closer to mouth to kiss, only for him to rear back and taunt me.

He tsks. “Why are you so fucking needy? Hm?” His hand cuffs my face, digging his fingers into my cheeks to purse my lips. “Always whimpering. You know what that shit does to me?”

“Because I want you.”

“Where do you want me? Here?” I arch into him and whine from feeling his hand hike up my skirt to palm my pussy.

I nod with such eagerness.

“You call this string, panties? I can easily rip these off and eat that sweet fat pussy right now.”

“Can you?” I ask, sounding like I’m losing all senses. Toji answers me by pulling my thong to the side to thumb my clit.

It’s almost embarrassing how wet he finds me considering he hasn’t barely touched me. My grip on his sweater grows tighter, bound to leave wrinkles the more fervently he rubs circles around my clit.

He flicks faster, my soft moans and wetness being played with fills the space between us, being only audible for him to hear.

Toji drags his nose along my neck, inhaling my scent and leaving open mouthed kisses. Along the way, my fingers slip through his dark locks to tug him closer.

And to think Toji would continue to tease me without inserting his fingers inside of me, his fingers sinking inside of my pussy says otherwise.

“Ohh…” I breathed.

“Fuck. . . How long you been wet for me like this, princess?”

I clench around his fingers at the pet name.

He begins pumping in and out of me while leaving love marks across my flesh. His fingers… they’re so thick and the perfect length to deliver pleasure. They stretch me, and I feel desperation pricking my skin at wanting to feel his cock inside of me, too.

I latch onto Toji’s face to meet mine and force our lips together. I couldn’t take not kissing him because kissing him feels like everything has stopped around us. I know all I need is to taste him to know that I’ll be okay.

He chuckles into my mouth, which I’m guessing due to my neediness and boldness, but that soon turns into groans I happily devour.

“Toji,” I gasp, breaking our kiss for some air with nothing but a string of saliva connecting us.

“As much as I enjoy hearing you moan my name, stop talking.” It’s like déjà vu because I immediately think about the first night we kissed and I told him the same thing.

Toji is addictive. I can’t stop saying this. How he sucks on my tongue possessively and bites down on my bottom lip, damn near drawing blood, has me wanting to submit to him.

He’s the type of man that could tell me what to do not because I allow him, but for the reason he knows that he can.

I want him to have his way with me. I want him to keep thrusting his fingers in my pussy until I come and moan his name uncontrollably.

God, who knew fingering could feel this good.

“A little faster, Toji,” I muffle through our kiss.

“Trying to boss me around? How can I say no,”—his pace picks up and finger fuck me harder—“when you fucking sound like that?”

I instinctively raised my hips and spread to have his digits pump deeper inside of me. His thumb finds my clit once more and I shudder beneath him. My hands claws into the flesh of his scalp, making it clear I’m close to my orgasm.

We kiss for a bit longer before he starts showing attention to my face, peppering his lips softly across my cheeks. The gesture, it feels… unlike him.

Not that I expect Toji to only be rough with me, but for him to be this tender while finger fucking my pussy… I’m bound to fall in love with this man.

“You sound pretty. Moaning for me. Saying my name like that’s all you know in that little teacher brain of yours,” he whispers, kissing behind my ear. An airy chuckle escapes his mouth that furthers the libido that’s pumping through my veins. “This pussy is so fucking tight. You sure you could take me, baby girl?”

“Toji, yes. Just fuck me… Please.”

He shakes his head. “Not here, sweetheart. I want you spread out on the bed when I’m balls deep inside of you. I want to hear the bed creaking when you’re riding my cock, and see those pretty titties bouncing in my face.” The more he speaks to me in this timbre is only aiding my near release. “But don’t worry, Miss L/N. I’ll take care of you tonight with just my fingers. Got this fucking pussy soaking and squeezing the fuck out of me. Just keep sounding sexy like that for me. Okay?”

Fuck... I feel myself coming. He slows down his thrust and applies more pressure to my throbbing clit. I match his movements by circling my hips around his fingers.

Toji’s voice alone is enough to make me orgasm, and it hits me hard. The nerves of fire I had coiled in the pit of my stomach finally unleashes and has me moaning louder than usual, with a few breaths being stuck in my throat.

Coming this hard just from being fingered and talked to so passionately with such obscenity, I’m a crying mess. And in the midst of my release, I squirt. Something I’ve never done before.

He chuckles, “Good girl. Good fucking girl. You always messy like this?”

“Oh–Oh, God… Toji… I–I don’t know. Why does this feel so good?”

“I said I was going to take care of you. Right?” T0ji removes his fingers from my pussy, taking his time to collect enough of my arousal in his hand to bring to his face. He raises his hand in the air and separates his fingers, groaning at the sight of my wetness gleaming under the moonlight.

Toji brings his hand to his nose and deeply inhales my scent, pleasurably exhaling while sucking my juices off his fingers.

“You taste fucking good, sweets.”

Sweets. Hearing him call me that does even more to me than being called princess.

Now, I feel even more desperate for Toji, completely losing my senses and busying my hands trying to unbuckle his pants. I want him. I crave him. Am I needy? Yes, although I don’t remember ever being this way, but that’s what happens when you’re finger fucked by Toji Fushiguro.

“Easy girl,” he rasps, latching onto my wrists to halt my erratic movements. “As much as I enjoy watching you being so desperate for me, I don’t want you to feel obligated-”

I cut him off. “No, I just want your dick inside of me.”

“Fuck, you’re making it hard for me, Y/N.”

“You are. I’m making it easy for you,” I argue.

He clasps onto my chin to place the sweetest kiss on my lips. My body relaxes and I feel content with tasting myself on him. “Not like this… Okay?”

“Okay,” I answered, giving him a small smile.

“So… you’re a squirter? We’ll have to push you like that again.”

If it wasn’t for my dark brown complexion, I know my warmth would show. “Please don’t remind me.”

He throws his head back and lets out a laugh that has me joining him. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, sweets. It’s sexy.”

After being cleaned up by the travel size wipes I keep in my purse, Toji and I lay together and talk for hours under the midnight sky.

As I said before, Toji is a beautiful catalyst that I’m ready to get to know.

The familiarity I feel around him is compelling. And I’m aware that we agreed on something casual for now, but after tonight, I don’t think that would be possible for me.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

discussion question #6 — nothing really pertaining to this chapter, but how are we feeling about the story so far? im honestly enjoying it. i do apologize for the long update. next chapter will be out in a few weeks and it'll be a timeskip, about a month or so. thank you for reading and i'll see you next time ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

#jjk x black reader #toji x black reader #toji x reader #anime x black!reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #anime x reader #anime smut #toji smut

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tierneysodegaard · 2 years

Text

Baby Pink - Max Verstappen x Reader

Max Verstappen x female!reader

Requested? Yes/No

Anon: Okay, I love me some angst with fluff endings so I was think about how maybe (Y/N) and Max have known each other since the karting days. She’s had a crush on him since then and everyone knows it (if he knows or doesn’t know can be up to you lol) but he doesn’t like the reader in that way (at least he thinks he doesn’t 😉😉). Max and (Y/N) hook up and she finds out she’s got a bun in the oven. Tells Max but he’s kinda like I can’t take care of a child, I have my career to think about.

Fast forward to like 3 to 4 years where she goes to one of the races since she’s close to one of the other racers. Of course to add some more spice none of the drivers know. And basitc just Max seeing his beautiful baby girl for the first time. It’s just a rough idea you can of course make it yours. I’ve had this in my head for a while and I like every one of your fics so I thought you would be perfect for this T_T - ☁️

Word Count: 4.4K

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy, Max being a dick, fluff, slight reader x Daniel but it’s all platonic

—

Your heart dropped at the results of the pregnancy test you’d just taken.

Positive.

And there was only one man who was the dad and that man was Max Verstappen.

You and Max had been friend since he’d started karting, the pair of you grew up with one another and so did your feelings towards him. Max always had a cocky demeaner about him and that was something you loved. He wouldn’t let anyone boss him around well, other than you of course. You never missed a race, although you never knew if he felt the same way about you but you didn’t care, he would always be special to you no matter what.

The pregnancy test was staring daggers into your heart, scared of what was ahead of you and Max. It was a stupid mistake really, the pair of you went out to celebrate one of his wins and you both got rather drunk. You went to bed together and well, drunk people evidently forget protection. That morning you didn’t think much of it, you couldn’t remember most of the night which also meant you couldn’t remember if you used protection. You’d risked it before, stupidly but that was a long time ago and luckily for you nothing came of it but the one time you slept with Max Verstappen, a baby was on the way.

You’d quickly sent Max a text asking if he could come round quickly as you needed to speak to him. Max replied fast and told you he’d be on his way as soon as, evidently sensing that something was wrong. Now everything started to hit you. Leaning on your kitchen counter your eyes never left the test.

It was only a drunk hook up and now look at it.

You and Max were so young, both of you being twenty and Max had just properly settled down in Formula 1. You had finally gotten yourself a decent job which paid well, with the pair of you working together, this could work right?

“Sorry the traffic was shit!” Max had let himself in your apartment as he called out to you only to find you standing in the kitchen. “You okay?” He offered a light smile but that faded when he saw your face.

You didn’t utter a word, only holding out the test so he could take it into his hands. Max studied it like it was some rare object, almost like he’d never even seen one before. The silence between the two of you grew, both of you waiting for the other one to say something.

“It’s yours…” Your weak voice followed through with your words. “If you couldn’t guess…”

“Is this a joke?” He slowly raised his head to meet your eyes.

“Max why would I joke about something like this?”

“Because I don’t want a kid -”

“Well neither do I but I can’t just make one on my own!” Your eyes fell from his as you spoke. “These things happen and I want to keep it -”

“I can’t raise a child!” Max threw the test back onto the counter. “I just can’t, my career won’t allow me -”

“Oh come on Max there are plenty of drivers that have children!”

“Yeah and they have wives! Not to mention they’re so much older than you and I.”

“And? That doesn’t mean we can’t raise one.”

“No.” He held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not raising a child with you!”

“So you’re just going to ignore our child?”

“I have a career y/n!”

“And you think I don’t?” You stepped forward. “What you think just because I don’t drive some fancy car around a track that means my career is any less valuable than yours?”

“That’s not why I meant and you know it!” Max raised his voice. “I have worked so hard for this, I have given up so much and I am not going to let it all go to shit to raise a baby with a woman that I don’t even love!”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. You loved him. You wanted him until the rest of your days but Max didn’t feel the same.

Your eyes pricked with tears. “You know what Max? I loved you, I really did. I gave up a lot for you too and I wouldn’t change it for the world but you know what? You don’t deserve the love of your own child. I’ll raise them and then when they’re old enough I’ll tell them the truth about their selfish father. They can make the decision if they want to contact you or not, for now, get the fuck out of my apartment.”

Max wasn’t sure why your words hurt him, especially after he just admitted he didn’t want you or yours and his baby around. But that one line stuck with him not only in that moment but for the next four years. He nodded at your words, leaving you alone to break down over what had just happened.

Your baby girl was born in May, you’d named her Leia as she happened to be born on the fourth. She was your entire world although she had the eyes and attitude of her father. No one on the grid knew she was Max’s well… all except Daniel.

You’d gotten close to Daniel when you used to visit Max and when Daniel pressured Max to tell him why you no longer turned up to races Daniel was furious. He went to visit you straight away, making sure both you and the baby were all okay. He even held her when she was a few weeks old, Daniel soon was known as Uncle Daniel to your little girl although he might as well have been her dad considering he’d done more for her than Max had ever done.

When the time was right you’d tell her everything, tell her about what had happened and when she was old enough you’d let her contact him, see if he wanted to actually talk to you and his daughter after running off and continuing his career as if nothing had happened.

Right now you had Christmas music blasting from your speakers as you held Leia in your arms, helping her decorate the tree in your front room. She was giggling as you sang along to last Christmas, swaying side to side with smiles on your faces. Max might have walked out on the two of you but part of you was glad he did otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to have all these memories with your little girl but the other part of you always knew you wanted him here.

You hadn’t heard anything from him for four years. Not a word. You checked up on his racing, he’d gotten his wish when he left you and Leia. He had one more race until the end of the season and if he won it he would be a World Champion. Unluckily for you Leia loved watching the cars go around the track, little did she know that it was her dad she was watching.

A knock at the door broke yours and Leia’s attention. With her still in your arms you opened the door to be greeted with a happy Daniel. “Uncle Danny!” Leia yelled, holing her arms out for Daniel. Setting the bags of presents down Daniel took her in his arms.

“Hello angel.” He kissed her cheek before flashing you a smile. “There’s presents there, I’ll get them -” He tried to move down with Leia in his arms but you beat him too it.

“Don’t worry I’ve got it, how’ve you been?”

“Good.” He smiled, keeping his gaze on you. “y/n?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s an envelope in there for you, please open it now.” He turned back to Leia. “Are you gonna show me this tree you’ve decorated?”

“Yeah!” She squealed with excitement, clapping her hands as Daniel walked over to your Christmas tree. You pulled the bag he’d brought with him onto the kitchen counter, opening it to see an envelope with your name on it. You didn’t think twice about ripping opening the envelope, pulling the letter out to read.

y/n

Merry Christmas, I think Leia will love it.

Daniel.

Inside the envelope contained two paddock passes for the race in Abu Dhabi. Your eyes welled up with tears, Daniel noticed and sent Leia off to get some of her toys before pulling you into his chest, allowing the tears to fall into his shirt.

“Why?” You sobbed. “Daniel he’ll be there.”

“You’ll be with me and Lando all the time, you won’t have to see him.”

“Why?” You stepped back looking up at Daniel. “Why now? After four years -”

“He’s been talking about you more than he usually does. He’s always asked about you. I never told him much, or even about Leia, only her name.” He took a deep breath. “I think it would do you good and you don’t have to speak to Max but maybe he’ll change if he sees you. He’s been so stressed about everything -”

“Daniel he’s the one who walked out on me and Leia, not the other way around. Four years he left me to raise our child. There’s only so many times that you can tell her that her dad isn’t around because he’s busy working in another country.”

Daniel took your hands into his. “I wouldn’t do it if I thought it would hurt you even more. y/n I know he loves you -”

“He doesn’t love me Daniel, he told me that I told him I was pregnant.”

“He’s had time to think -”

“Four years Daniel, he doesn’t need four years.”

“I know and I would never make an excuse for his actions, I want you there to support me.” Daniel moved his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “Besides Leia likes it and who knows, maybe she’ll be the one to challenge the way F1 works, get her into karting and she could be rivalling her dad. Maybe even race against him and win, show him who’s the better driver.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Daniel’s words. If Leia really liked F1 that much and wanted to start karting you would need to involve yourself in her world and her dads even more than you wanted.

“Fine.” Reluctantly agreed.

---

The fear of seeing Max face to face again was killing you but for Leia’s sake you kept a brave face on. She was ecstatic that the pair of you were going to watch the race, she’d been told that she was going to see Uncle Danny race, perhaps it was best to keep Max out of the equation for now. She didn’t need her love of cars crushed by the very man that was supposed to love her more than any guy she’d meet in her life.

Leia was decked out in McLaren merchandise, plodding through the paddock like she owned the place. Daniel was holding her hand as she walked towards the garages with him. Daniel had promised her that she could sit in his car with him and that was what the three of you were heading off to do now. You saw a few familiar faces, waving and saying hello to a few of them although every single one of them gave you a rather puzzled look at the sight of you with a child, evidently Max hadn’t wanted to spread the word that he was a dad.

Anyone who walked through the paddocks would have easily have mistaken you and Daniel for a couple, especially as he held onto her like he was her own, she might as well be at this rate. You neared the McLaren garage, you could see the Red Bull one wasn’t far away as you held your breath at every single small movement coming from the garage, silently hoping to catch a glimpse of Max. Sure he was an absolute dick to you but you wanted to at least see him in person, even if it was from afar.

“Do you want to get in?” Daniel’s voice grabbed your attention. He was kneeling down beside Leia, smiling at her reaction to his car.

“Yeah!” She screamed with excitement. Daniel climbed into the car, holding his arms out for her. You picked her up, placing her in the safe arms of Daniel as she sat in his lap. Daniel started to explain everything in the car, in a more simpler way a four year old could understand.

You took out your phone, taking photos of the two of them. The pair of them in front of you were your family, you didn’t need Max. Leia had a fun uncle who wanted to take her to the races. Even Lando started to get involved, kneeling down by the car and quizzing Leia on what everything did. You were too distracted to notice two drivers walk behind you, one stopping in his tracks as his world fell apart and came back together at the sight of you and Leia.

Max and Charles had been walking through the garages on the way back to the paddocks when Max heard a laugh he hadn’t heard in four years. You were laughing at Daniel, Lando and a little girl.

His daughter.

Just like that Max’s world changed forever.

Jealousy flooded his veins at the sight of Daniel with his daughter. He had no right to be annoyed at the Australian, after all he was the one that left you and his daughter. She looked just like you but she had the eyes of her father and evidently the passions of her father.

“You okay mate?” Charles spoke to Max, noticing that he had stopped in his tracks completely. “Max?”

“Hmm?” He tore himself away from the scene but it was too late, Charles had spotted you.

“y/n?” You spun around at the sound of you name being called. Not even noticing that Max was beside him you fell into his arms muttering a hello to him. It was only when you pulled back you noticed him.

Daniel tensed up at the sight before him, silently wishing he hadn’t brought you here without making sure that Max wasn’t lurking around. Charles looked ahead of you seeing that Daniel had a little girl on his lap. “I thought you had a nephew Danny?”

Tearing your gaze away from Max who was yet to say anything you spoke before Daniel could. “She’s mine.”

“Oh really? Congratulations!” Charles wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “Is she?” Charles eyed you and Daniel.

“No she’s not Daniels.”

“I was gonna say, he kept pretty quiet about that one.” He smiled whereas Max stood beside him silently.

“Daniel is just her uncle, her dad isn’t in the picture.” You gave him a small smile before looking back at your daughter.

“Oh I’m very sorry, I don’t know what kind of man would abandon their child.”

Charles’ words made Daniel’s eyes go wide, trying to hide it so he didn’t put the pieces together. “I agree Char.” You glanced at Max as you spoke.

Winning you back was going to be hard but Max already knew that.

“How old is she?”

“She turns four in May.”

“Nearly four wow… that’s about the time you left…” He looked over to Max who looked unamused. “Four years…” His eyes went as wide as Daniel’s as he connected the dots. “FOUR YEARS?”

“Yes Charles, turns four on May the fourth, her name is Leia.”

“Leia…” Max muttered but Charles heard and he had already worked it out.

“Hello Leia.” Charles waved at the girl. “Would you like to come and see a Ferrari?”

“Yes!” She giggled.

“Oh but McLaren is way better.” Daniel laughed as Lando took a hold of her, allowing Daniel to get out before handing her back to him. Daniel mouthed a ‘good luck’ to you as he walked past.

“Is mummy coming?” Leia pouted.

“Yes sweetie I’ll be there soon, mummy’s just going to catch up with an old friend.” You kissed her cheek before thanking Daniel. Charles grabbed Max’s racing suit, pulling his ear to his mouth.

“How could you do that to her?”

“I didn’t -”

“Don’t give me your shitty excuse. If she takes you back you better worship the ground she walks on. If not,” Charles eyed you as you finished your conversation with Daniel. “Maybe I’ll be her step dad.” Those words made Max snap, shoving Charles back before speaking.

“Don’t talk about her or my daughter like that -”

“Your daughter? Daniel’s been more of a father than you have!” He spat. “Just wait until everyone else finds out.” Charles barged his shoulder with Max’s before walking out with Daniel and Lando, leaving you and Max alone.

“y/n… how’ve you been?”

Really Max? Small talk?

“As good as one can be being a single parent for four years whilst your child's father is out partying every week and earning thousands when I had to scrape every single penny I had and make it last so she had a decent life. So she could see that she didn’t need a dad to help out, only uncle Daniel.” You didn’t care if your words hurt him, he deserved it.

“y/n I’m so sorry.”

“For what part?”

“All of it, for four years I have regretted everything I ever said to you. Everything I had done. It was so hard seeing everyone bring their children to work knowing I couldn’t do the same.”

“But you could Max!” You raised your voice slightly. “You could but you chose not to! When she started to speak she asked me where her dad was, do you know what it’s like having to tell her that her dad is always traveling for work and that’s why he can’t be here? And do you know how fucking hard it is to see your daughter watch the races and say ‘Max won mummy!’ over and over again and she has no idea that the man she sees win on tv is her dad?”

You started to cry as you spoke. “The closest thing she has to a dad is Daniel, it’s not even his kid Max but he put in more work than you ever did. He was there for her first steps, her first fucking word was ‘Dan’ and he buys her so many presents every year -”

“I bought her presents too.”

“What? No you fucking didn’t -”

“Daniel always brings more than one gift right? That’s because I buy the rest and give them to him and ask him to say they’re from me, I do the same with you.”

“Why do all that but not come see us?”

“I was scared y/n… I fucked up…” His words made you cry even more. All those gifts you and Leia loved were all from him, all this time.

The sight of you breaking down broke Max. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. You hated that you fell into his touch as easily as you did. Melting into his arms like you used to all those years ago as you sobbed into his racing suit.

“She needs her dad Max -”

“I’m going to be her dad.” Max spoke into your hair. “y/n I was so fucking stupid, I should have never have left you. I got scared, I thought my career would be over, I was scared at what my dad would do, I was scared I’d put the both of you in danger because of what I did… I was scared because I love you and I was too blind to see it back then.” He kissed your head, soothing your hair as your tears started to dry up. “I’m so sorry.”

“She has your eyes you know.” You pulled back to look up at him, his hands draped around your waist and yours on his chest. “And you attuite.”

“It’s just a winners mentality.” He winked, hoping to make you smile again and much to his luck, it did.

“It’s a pain in my fucking ass.” You took in his features. He’d grown into himself a little more, looking more mature now than he used to but other than that he was still the Max you’d fallen in love with. “Not to mention how much she loves cars.”

“Oh she’s definitely my child.” He let out a light laugh as he brushed the hairs out of your face. “But she has the beauty of her mother.”

“And her intelligence.” You smirked. “If she had yours we would well and truly be fucked.”

“You have a point.” Max’s eyes flickered down to your lips. “I really am sorry and I know everything I’ve said doesn’t make up for anything I’ve done but I want to prove to you that I can be the dad she and you need me to be and the dad I want to be.”

“Actions speak louder than words.” You eyed him up. “You’ll win her over easily but not me.”

“I know but I love you and that alone will get me through it.”

“You really mean that?”

“Yes.” Max stepped closer, cupping your face. “I really do and I know you don’t and you probably don’t want us anymore but -”

“I never stopped loving you Max.” You cut him off. “I needed to and I wanted to but I couldn’t.”

He wanted to kiss you. It wouldn’t make everything disappear but actions speak louder than words, right? He didn’t think much about it, pulling you closer until his lips crashed with yours. Unlike that one drunk night the kiss wasn’t filled with lust or hast, this time it was full of love. It was clear the both of you had wanted this for years. You kissed him back, allowing your hand to snake through his brown locks.

Max wanted this kiss to last a lifetime, he finally felt whole again and he knew he could keep this feeling if he grafted for you. The pair of you pulled back, looking at one another with longing gazes. “As much as I loved that you won’t win me back that easily.”

“I’ll get on my knees and beg if it meant you’d let me kiss you again, I’ll do it now -” Max started to fall to his knees.

“Max get up you look like an idiot.”

“I’ve been an idiot for four years, this is nothing.” He looked up at you.

“At least you’re self aware.” You cracked a smile before grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up to stand. “Do you want to meet her?”

“More than anything.”

“Come on then.”

Max hadn’t been this excited for years. A smile brighter than the stars formed on his face as the pair of you walked towards the Ferrari garage where Leia was now trying on Charles’ helmet on which was evidently far too big on her making all three of the boys laugh.

“Leia?” You called to her as Charles’ helped her get out of the helmet.

“Mummy!” She ran over to you. Kneeling to the floor you took her in your arms. “Charles showed me his helmet.”

“Did he now?”

“I want one!”

“Well maybe if you’re lucky Santa might bring you one for Christmas.” You smiled at the girl. “What one would you like? A McLaren one or a Ferrari one?”

She thought hard about the options before speaking. “Santa can pick!”

“Say McLaren!” Daniel called to the girl, only making her laugh.

“Leia, do you remember when I told you that daddy was never at home because he was always working?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you like to meet him?”

“Yes!” She jumped on the spot, clapping her hands. Max knelt down beside you, her eyes going wide as she looked at the Red Bull driver.

“Leia,” You turned to Max. “This is Max, your dad.”

The small girl didn’t waste a second as she flung herself into his arms. Max held onto her tightly, tears started to fall from his eyes. “I’m so sorry daddy was working, he’s been busy -”

“It’s okay daddy.” She evidently warmed up to him faster than you did. “Mummy always said you had work.”

“But now I’m going to be with you so much more, I promise you.”

“Will you be home for Christmas?”

Max looked over to you for confirmation. You nodded your head, you wanted him around just as much as she did. “Yes baby I will be.” She only giggled as Max set her down.

“You drive for Red Bull?” Her small hands traced the logo on his suit.

“Yes I do, Uncle Daniel used to as well.”

“When you were very small.” You added.

“Daddy?”

“Yes my love?”

“Do you love Mummy?”

“He better.” Charles muttered earning him a light shove from Daniel.

“Yes I do and I love you too.” She fell back into his arms, not wanting to let go of him.

You finally had your family back together and looking around at Lando, Daniel and Charles’ it was evident that you had a bigger support system then just Daniel. Leia was one lucky girl.

“Mummy?” Leia turned to you.

“Yes baby?”

“I want Santa to bring me a Red Bull helmet.”

Great, another racer in the family.

---

Read Part 2 here

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