#i am also craving. things. but also….. am disgusted by everything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lixzey · 21 days

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Bf!Luke Castellan x Filipina child of Aphrodite!reader please? I haven't seen any of Filipina readers so I'm begging on my knees 🥺

In which she misses home terribly and decides to cook some of her fave food (preferably sinigang, adobo, or like something else! you can do some research, if you'd like 🫶🏻)

And she makes Luke try it! But he's so whiny bcs he hasn't even heard of the dish's name.

Anywaaay, I loved lovelorn!!! Waiting for the next update like 👀 Your writing is just so 🤌🏻 chef's kiss!!

late night cravings

summary: you miss home terribly, so you decide to cook your favorite ulam

warnings: filipina!reader x luke castellan! they're both 19 (set before tlt), they're like on vacation (luke and reader have an apartment in the east village, courtesy of reader’s dad who’s a filipino actor) away from camp duties for a while, swearing (both filipino and english), luke is a picky ass eater, making out, kinda suggestive content

a/n: i got so excited with this 😭 i'm a filipina and an aphrodite kid, so this was so fun to write! I hope you like it!

“What on earth are you cooking?” Luke asks, leaning against the kitchen door frame of the apartment the two of you own. “I woke up to the smell of that.”

You immediately whip your head around to see your boyfriend, half naked and disheveled from sleep. “Well, hello to you too, sunshine,” You chuckle, blowing strands of your hair away from your face.

“It's the middle of the night, princess, and you're cooking something that smells like vomit.” Luke grumbles as he makes his way towards you, still bleary eyed as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“I just missed home,” You giggle, reaching to grab the tongs to flip over the daing na bangus so it doesn’t burn. “Something wrong, baby?”

“Yeah, it smells like shit.” Luke complains, burying his face in your neck. “It’s stinking up the whole place.”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” You chuckle, placing the tongs down on a plate, escaping Luke’s grasp and making your way to the kitchen island, leaning against it. “It’s good, I promise.”

Luke stares at the pan. “I am not eating that thing.” He then turns to you, his nose wrinkled in disgust. “Where’s the mac and cheese?”

“It’s just milkfish, dummy.” You roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s refusal to eat anything other than mac and cheese. “Also, you finished the last box of mac hours ago, remember?”

“Ramen?” Luke asks, hopeful that there’s still some left other than the fish that’s stinking up the whole apartment.

When you shook your head, literal fear crept onto his handsome face. “Anything else?” He asks, his voice cracking like a teenaged boy going through puberty for the first time, making you burst into a fit of giggles.

“There’s nothing left, you’ve finished everything.” You say through fits of laughter at your boyfriend’s food crisis. “Guess you’ll have to deal with the food I’m gonna cook.”

Luke’s eyes comically widen, like one of those cartoon characters you’ve watched when you were a kid. “There’s more?”

“Yeah,” You nod, jerking your head to the refrigerator littered with lots of printed photos of the dates you and Luke went on over the years you’ve been together. “I marinated some pork for adobo.”

“Ado-what?”

“Adobo, it’s a Filipino staple.” You answer with a chuckle. “It’s pork marinated in vinegar, soy sauce, and some garlic. I added some peppercorns too. My lola used to cook it for me when I was a kid.”

Luke makes his way to you, his large hands creeping onto your waist, lifting you up onto the counter. “As much as you love it, princess, I’m not eating any of it.”

“And why not?” You scoff, raising a brow at him.

“I don’t like it, that’s why.” Luke insists, kissing your forehead. “I’m gonna go and get some real food.”

You sigh, annoyed by your boyfriend’s pickiness in food. For as long as you’ve known him, he’s been choosing what he eats like a child. It was always mac and cheese, chicken, pizza, and burgers. It was a struggle to feed him, honestly. Since he won’t eat anything apart from what he’s used to. Luke was lucky that the dryads serve mac almost with every meal—which is mostly for the kids or a side dish. You’ve tried to incorporate vegetables in his meals but somehow he always notices. It was infuriating, to the point that you just wanted to shove a broccoli floret down his throat.

All of a sudden, the smell of burning infiltrates your sense of smell, triggering the fire alarms simultaneously.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You frantically mutter, jumping off the kitchen island and running to the burning bangus on the stove. You grab the pan, forgetting it was on the fire for minutes on end. “Putangina!” You swear, abruptly pulling your hand off the pan’s handle.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, here,” Luke grabs the pan with oven mitts, placing it on the counter.

You sigh as you stare at the burnt fish, hearing the pan hiss against the cold surface.

Luke, being the best boyfriend that he is, pulls you in a tight hug, his body heat engulfing you. “It’s okay, princess. It was an accident.”

“I’ve been craving that,” You mumble against his chest. “Stupid fire.”

“You still have the first one you cooked,” Luke points out. “That’s gotta count for something, right?”

You raise your head, meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I guess.” you mumble, lower lip out in a pout.

“Don’t be sad over a burnt fish, alright?”

You glare at him, pinching his side. “It was a tasty fish.”

“Geez, princess,” Luke scowls playfully. “A fish is more important than me?”

“Shut up,” You hiss, rolling your eyes. “I paid five bucks for that.”

Luke raises a brow at you. “When did you even get time to get them?”

“You sleep like a lamb, baby,” You chuckle, turning to walk to the refrigerator. “I went to a Filipino store.”

“There’s one in New York?” Luke asks, brows furrowed in confusion. “I thought you said there weren’t any?”

“That was years ago, dummy.” You snort, grabbing the refrigerator handle, opening it. “Anyway, look what I got.”

An array of Filipino snacks filled the middle shelf of the fridge. You had gone all out. It wasn’t often that you splurge on food, but when a craving hits, it hits.

There were some Choco Mallows—chocolate covered marshmallows—your favorite treat as a child that your lola always bought for you. A jar of ube macapuno that you hated as a child but learned to love just recently. Some dried mangoes, pastillas, a jar of wafer sticks—stik o—a slice of brazo de mercedes, and many more.

“How the hell are you even gonna finish all of that?”

You shake your head, smirking. “You and I are gonna eat each and every item that I bought.”

Luke scowls, folding his toned arms over his chest. “I don’t want to.”

“Don’t give me that shit, Castellan,” You say, placing your hands on your hips. “You are going to eat whatever I serve you.”

Luke pouts, pairing it off with puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

“Nope.”

“That smells like vomit,” Luke complains as you seared the marinated pork for adobo. “And it looks like it too!”

“Quit it,” You say with a murderous glare. “Don’t yap at it until you’ve tasted it.”

“I think I’m going to puke all my guts out,” Luke gags, making his way to the sink.

“For the love of the gods,” You groan, fighting the urge to roll your eyes at his childishness. It was just food, and he’s whining about it like there’s no tomorrow.

You turn your attention away from your picky eater of a boyfriend and back to the pan with the pork searing brown nicely. You then grab the remaining liquid from the marinade—which was not much, which it would have to do—pouring it in, causing the pan to hiss at the difference in temperature. You turn the stove down to medium high heat, before leaving it to simmer.

Much to Luke’s misery.

“You aren’t covering it?” Luke asks incredulously. “It’s smelling the place worse than the fish did!”

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Luke.” You sigh, grabbing a pouch of dried mangoes before taking a seat on one of the bar stools over the kitchen island. “It’s gonna taste good, I promise.”

“Ugh,” Luke wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Gag me.”

“Nah, you’d like it too much.” You giggle, popping a slice of dried mango in your mouth.

Luke scoffs playfully. “Damn right I will, princess.”

“Then stop whining,”

“You love me,” Luke grins as he walks towards you, capturing your lips in his, his hand cupping your face.

You hum as your lips mold with his, your shoulders relaxing as he kisses you.

You pull away from the kiss, pushing him slightly. “You’re distracting me, Castellan,” you sigh dreamily, a soft blush covering your cheeks as your boyfriend looks at you like you’re the only thing in this world.

Luke leans in, his lips brushing against your lips as he trails towards your ear. “Is it working?” he whispers, his breath hot on your skin.

“Luke,” You murmur, placing your hand on his chest. “Stop, I don’t want to burn the adobo.”

Luke chuckles, his fingers tangling with the ends of your hair. “Alright, but later?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “If you promise to taste the adobo and bangus,” You smirk at him, pushing him slightly away from your body as you stand up. “Maybe I’ll let it happen, you know? On this counter.”

“Do I really have to?”

“If you want to bend me over this counter, yes.”

Luke sighs as he reluctantly nods. “Fine, I’ll taste them.”

“That’s a good boy,” You coo, reaching up to pat his cheek. “Go and sit,” you jerk your head towards the bar stool you just stood up from. “It’ll be ready in a few.”

Luke obliges, sitting on the stool with his arms crossed over the other. He grins at you, a mischievous look you know oh so well in his beautiful browns.

Luke was teasing you, the little shit.

You chuckle, shaking your head, before turning to make your way to the stove, swaying your hips as you did—earning a small grunt from Luke behind you.

As you check up on the adobo, you see that almost half of the liquids have evaporated, leaving you with a slightly oily adobo—just the way you liked it. You turned down the heat, grabbing a fork from the silverware drawer to check if the pork was tender.

You poke the fork through the meat effortlessly, making you smile. The perfect adobo.

You quickly grab a plate and load it up with the delicious ulam you’ve grown up with, hoping Luke would appreciate it as much as you did.

“Here it is,” You excitedly announce, serving the adobo with a spoon and fork in front of him with a proud smile etched on your lips. “It’s better with rice, but it’s good on its own too.”

Luke stares at the meat in front of him, as if the adobo was going to attack him if he wasn’t vigilant enough. “Is it supposed to look like that?”

You raise a brow at him. “Like what?”

“Like it’s burnt,”

You sigh, taking a seat beside him. “It’s supposed to look like that, but it isn’t burnt. It’s because of the searing, plus the soy sauce the pork has already absorbed.” You grab the utensils, shoveling a healthy amount of meat and sauce on the spoon using the fork. “Open wide, baby!”

Luke shook his head. “I think I’m okay.”

“Luke,” You growl, raising the adobo filled spoon up to his mouth. “Open your fucking mouth before I shove this spoon down your throat forcibly.”

Luke raises his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, geez,” he chuckles, opening his mouth up. “Be gentle with me, princess.”

You glare at him before pushing the spoon inside of his mouth. “If you spit that out, you’re sleeping on the damn floor.”

Luke chews the contents of his mouth, his eyes widening. “Fuck, this is good!” He grins as he pulls the plate in front of him and immediately takes another spoonful. “Mhmm, that hits the spot!” Luke says through a mouth full of the savory pork dish you cooked.

“Good, baby?” You giggle, reaching to grab the fork from him to get a bite of your masterpiece. “Don’t finish it all, save some for me!”

“Losers, weepeers, baby,” Luke mumbles through bites. “You sure you didn’t use any love magic on this?”

You recoil, slapping his arm playfully. “I did not use gayuma, Castellan.”

“Gayuma?”

“It’s love magic, in Filipino,” You answer, taking another bite of your food. “I have got to teach you more Filipino words.”

“I’m in love with this—what is it called again?”

“Adobo,” You laugh, taking a bite of the said ulam. “Pork adobo.”

“Pork adobo, I love you!” Luke grins, like it’s the first time he’s ever tried food in eons.

You smile lovingly at your boy, looking all so happy and content. You could spend eternities just staring at him. Seeing Luke happy made you feel complete, like you’ve fulfilled a quest greater than anything the gods could dish out.

You could see a future with the man in front of you. You’ve honestly got nothing figured out, but Luke? He was the only thing you’ve got right in your life. You could see him, being the man you’d marry and spend the rest of your life with. You could see him being the father of your children, a little Luke and a little version of you, running around the front yard while you and Luke watch on the front porch with a multitude of toys sprawled around.

You fell in love with a careless god’s careful son, and he is the best thing that’s ever been yours.

“Princess,” You hear Luke call out to you, snapping you out of your daydreams. You look up, meeting his loving gaze, making your cheeks burn. Gods, it’s not fair of him to make me feel this much.

“Yeah?” You hum, moving your chair closer to him, smiling as you did. “What is it?”

Luke cups your face in his large hands, pulling you in close, barely an inch apart. “I love you.”

Your heart beats rapidly inside your rib cage, wondering how on earth does he manage to still make you feel like that giddy teenager who fell in love with him years ago.

You stare in his eyes for what felt like eons. You could feel Luke’s breath hot on your lips, begging you to seal it inside of him with a kiss.

You let out a shaky breath, a small smile curling onto your lips. “I love you too, baby.” you whisper, before closing in the distance between the two of you.

Luke’s hands make their way down to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, making you gasp. He takes advantage of your lips parting, sliding his tongue in, eager to taste you—even though he’s done it more times than he could count.

His lips were soft, like a cloud grazing yours. He tasted sweet, like cotton candy, but with a hint of smoke and citrus playing at your taste buds. You should have been used to it by now, being in a relationship with Luke for almost three years and all. But his touch numbs you. His touch is like being dipped into the cold ocean, pulling you in—drowning you, until he’s bruised into your mind.

Your hands creep around the nape of his neck, deepening the kiss—if it was even possible given the state of your tongues clashing with one another, fighting to assert dominance. You bite Luke’s lower lip, causing a groan to escape his mouth. You feel this familiar heat pool inside your belly, along with something hard poking your ass.

You pull away from the kiss, lips swollen as you catch your breath. Before you could utter a word, Luke lifts you up on the counter, making you erupt in a fit of giggles. He then presses his forehead against yours, you could hear his slow breaths as your noses bump into each other.

“So, you lettin’ it happen, huh, princess?”

“You didn’t try the other one,” You feign annoyance, unable to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.

“Can’t make an exception for me, princess?” Luke smirks, his fingers delicately brushing against your arms.

“I think I can squeeze you in,” You chuckle, pulling away from him with a teasing grin. “You good with that, mister?”

“I’ll take anything as long as it’s with you.” Luke grabs your waist, pulling you back close to him. “Gods, you are so beautiful.” he whispers, his hand cupping your face.

“I love you,” You murmur, placing your hand on his chest, on the place where his heart rests. “More than anything.”

“You are the best thing in my life.” Luke sighs before leaning in to kiss you again like his life depended on it, wrapping his arms around you like a vice. You run your fingers through his hair, pulling and tugging on his curls as if he was your lifeline.

Luke’s hands fumble with the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head, momentarily breaking the kiss. He quickly reaches behind, unclasping your bra in one swift movement, tearing the offending fabric off of your breasts.

Luke takes his time to admire your body, as if it was the very first time he’d even seen your breasts out on full display for him, just for him. His cock strained painfully inside of his shorts and boxers, causing a groan to escape his throat. “You see what you do to me, princess?”

You look at him with innocence in your eyes, which at the same time looks sultry and inviting, driving him crazy every time you do. “Who, me?”

“Aren’t you just a little vixen?”

“So, to the room?”

Luke shakes his head, moving towards you, his hands just below your breasts as he smirks. “Here, over the fucking counter.”

tags: @lilmaymayy @ma1dita @sc4rl3ttdafoxx @hottiewifeyyyy

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candyskiez · 7 months

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usually I hate possession plots but god,I love the possessed hunter plot. because it's just so painfully resonant as an abuse victim. especially to anyone who's been abused by bigots.

like. this outside force you once loved, you spent so much of your time trying to please, so much of your time begging for the approval of, isolates you. they cause you to grow paranoid and angry, snapping at people and pushing you away from your support system. makes you seem crazy to your loved ones, making them doubt your mental health and making you question your sense of reality because you can't tell what's real or not anymore (gaslighting, baby!) you're cut off and overwhelmed. you get put in situations where you're forced to do things you don't want to, you're in so much pain, you're being treated like something with no wants or thoughts of their own. you're stripped of your autonomy. you're belittled for what you wanted and told THIS is how you're supposed to be, and you're so miserable. you're pitted against your loved ones. your abuser tries to make all your loved ones hate you so you come back to them, so they don't lose you. and belos being a horrifically realistic portrayal of an IRL abuser makes this so much worse. he craves Caleb's attention and tries to force hunter to fill that void. nevermind HES the one who robbed himself of caleb in his life by killing him. he tries to make hunter his shoulder to cry on, his therapist, his punching bag, his doctor. uses him to look at himself and go "see! look how good I'm doing! my family is back and he finally loves me again!" , he is obsessive and horrible and cruel and so horrifically realistic. he strips hunter of his autonomy, and in the shit that will start sounding familiar to people who grew up in bigoted families:

forced him out of what made him most comfortable. literally grew out his hair against his will, treated how he'd changed his body and wardrobe to make himself more comfortable as something that tainted him.

also just. holy shit the violating him like that. just the fucking undertones. it's fucking horrific.

and that's why him fighting back is so huge. because he has the strength to say, no. fuck you, no. this is my goddamn body. this is my goddamn life. he takes all these things he LOVED. he loved, that belos had taught him he was sinful and a horrible person for not despising (hm, allegories) and says, fuck you, I WANT this. I want this, I love this, you tried to teach me to hate it but I don't. I love it. I love it, and you didn't break me. I want to leave the coven, I want to leave you. you hurt me, and I said sorry. you used me, and I said sorry. I am done being sorry. I am done feeling bad. I want this life you're trying to take from me. I want to go to the boiling isles and I want to have a life there, in that world you hate so much. I want to go to the boiling isles and be sinful and disgusting and everything you hate and I will love it. I will be happy. I will be free and everything you hate. and I miss when I thought I could please you, because it was simple. but I am happier as a heretic and as a sinner, and you can't change me. I tried to change myself for you, I just ended up miserable. you can't make me something I'm not. I tried. and I am done trying. I am hunter. fuck you, my name is hunter. my name is hunter, and you hurt people. it doesn't matter if you were trying to help me. you hurt me. and I am done, and I am leaving, and most of all I will never let you hurt anyone else like you hurt me.

and he fucking got it, man. he fucking got it. he went through HELL and he still came back swinging. the death feels symbolic to me almost? losing a part of you in traumatic events and you have to live without that part. and you got out but you lost pieces of you in the process, and that stays with you.

but he keeps going. he kept fucking going man and THAT is fucking amazing to me. he kept going. ohhh my god. I wish I had this when I was 13. hunter isn't as massive of a hyperfixation for me anymore by a long shot, but goddamn. I love this dude. I LOVED the possession scene so fucking much and it will always resonate with me so, so hard.

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mykoreanlove · 3 months

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Jackson on Kinjaz

Your phone was blowing up constantly.

„Oh my god, did you see this?????“, your friend asked.

With shaking hands you clicked on the link.

„I used to be critical on myself in my mind in a negative way. Not healthy. At all. I would call myself names and put myself down in my mind. I drank the most disgusting shakes for my body health but up here? I was rotting.“

„Yeah, yeah. I remember videos of that nasty shake. What did you put in there - chicken?“

„Gotta get my protein, man. But you know I would constantly feel guilty for what I have done or what I might do.“

„Like what?“

„Like. Okay, like did I practice enough? Is magic man good enough? What if I let everybody down? How will I cope? How will I live?

All these voices.. these fucking nagging voices were with me 24/7.“

„Damn that sounds tough. What did you do?“

„I thought it was impossible to fix because I tried so hard and nothing changed me. Or if it did, it would only last a couple of weeks and I’d be back to feeling like shit and talking down on myself.

Jackson, you moron, how could you do this? Did you really think you could make it? You don’t deserve this success. You don’t deserve to be happy.“

„Jackson, bro. I feel for you. Really.“

„Look, I’m just being honest. I would naturally think of punishments coming my way. I’d imagine injuring myself or loosing all my fans or money. I’d think of the most horrific shit late at night when I should be peacefully sleeping.

I would try to change my thoughts to change my feeling. I would rationalize my way out for hours to only find myself entering a new cave.“

„Like a merry go round.“

„Exactly, I was stuck. Same shit, different day. My gut always had this underlying feeling of tension.

I tried my best to give myself relief but like I said, I could not find Relief for longer than a week. Maybe a month at best.“

„Is that why you turned to alcohol? Because I remember you chugging down a bottle of Hennessy and thought to myself that’s not normal.“

„Oh, of course I started drinking more. I needed more. What used to make me pass out back then is like a cute little cocktail to me now.“

„Damn, that really is a lot to handle. Did you try other things, as well?“

„Look, I tried everything in the book. You name it, I tried it. Worked out. Meditated. Drank. Had sex. Nothing could give me what I craved so badly. Nothing. Until I found her.“

You swallowed hard.

You had no idea that he would share all this with the public. You were very well aware of his struggles but hearing him talk about them upset you. It broke your heart imagining him like that, all dim and broken.

Also, it made you nervous.

You had no idea that he would introduce you into the world like this.

You had no idea that he would reveal your relationship to his homies on a podcast.

Yet, you were intrigued.

„Her as in …?“

„You see, love is a funny thing, right? I didn’t plan to fall in love, nor did I want to but I kind of did. I found the one, man. I found the love of my life and I was lucky enough to have her love me back. Do you know how rare that is?“

„Yeah, it is for you. I remember our last interview and how we wanted to get you on tinder and shit.“

„Exactly! I used to be on my own for years. Years, man. I gave up on love completely, thinking this was meant for others but certainly not me. And then she came into my life. Like an angel that was coming down to help me. Save me even.“

„Your savior, huh?“

„I swear to god her love saved me. It saved me from drugs, it saved me from self destruction and first and foremost it saved me from myself. I gotta be honest man, if I hadn’t met y/n I wouldn’t even be here anymore.“

„Wow. That’s, that’s a pretty heavy revelation. I’m glad you’re doing better now.“

„Oh, I am. Management is probably going to kick my ass later but I don’t care. Let me loose fans, let me loose money. I don’t give a shit. If you support me now, you support the real Jackson Wang. And that’s me right now - happily coupled to the most beautiful soul on this planet. If you can’t handle that - my bad.“

„Okay guys, it’s over. China‘s most wanted bachelor is officially off the market. WHOOOO!!“

„Yeah, the king has finally found its queen.“

„So, what is she like?“

You paused the interview and took a deep breath. Jackson was very vocal of his feelings for you, but hearing it like that felt different. The biggest smile was plastered on his face as he was talking about you.

You as in his queen.

You as in future Miss Wang.

Hundreds of butterflies announced themselves in your stomach, making you giddy and joyful.

„Oh man, she is the best. Like, she is so breathtakingly beautiful. Inside and out. We have the best conversations. I feel like she is my best friend. Truly, no one gets me like she does. It’s just.. it’s effortlessly easy. We laugh a lot, we talk a lot, we share everything with each other. I’m just so grateful, man.“

„Yeah, I can see that. You’re grinning from ear to ear. Make sure to invite me to your wedding.“

„Like you invited me to your birthday?“

„Okayyyyy, let’s wrap it up. Guys, that’s it for today. Thank you Jackson, really appreciate you brother.“

You stopped the video, giggling at your petty boyfriend.

„Remind me to have a word with you once you’re back, yeah?“, you texted him.

It didn’t take him a second to instantly call you.

„Did you see it? Already? Damn babygirl, you’re quick“, he teased.

„You could have warned me, Wang!“

„I didn’t plan to say all that but I couldn’t help myself. It just.. it just came out of me. I really meant it though.“

„Everything?“

He knew exactly what you were implying.

„Oh, I’m gonna make you Miss Wang for sure. Rule my kingdom with me? Please?“

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snaililita · 8 months

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♠️♥️ Lyney x Reader♥️♠️

Synopsis: Reader has some serious escapist tendencies, no friends anymore, and lives in a shell they are too afraid to crawl out of because they perceive reality as disgusting and mundane nowadays. What happens when a certain magician shows them that reality can still be beautiful as a way to thank them for the freedom they inadvertently granted him with?

!!SPOILERS FOR THE ARCHON QUEST!!

This is kinda long! I also made it at 1 AM so if there are any errors it's cuz of that ('□`) I personally have been going through some things and have been finding a lot of comfort in this goofy ol'magician. So sorry if this has some darkers tones than my usual stuff! I tried to keep reader as gender neutral as I could by not name dropping anyone and only referring to them as "You" variations. If there is a slip up please tell me!

You're hardwired to be an extrovert, but you exist in an environment and place that shuns you and forces you into a shell.

You've had your voice ripped from your throat one too many times and you've been silenced for nothing more than a mere giggle.

You were raised in an isolated world, away from humanity and it's harsh reality.

You didn't have any friends growing up except for the occasional child of a parent's friend who would visit.

Your siblings would hide away and your father would yell all the time. Your mother was always at work. Your friends were in your worlds of fiction and your books. The drawings you began to make to see these adventures you had with them.

You don't know how real people act or how to speak with them, treating everything like dialogue in a book.

Friends you had made at one point eventually coined you as toxic because of your inability to speak with any of them properly. Perhaps you should've tried harder. No, you definitely should have tried harder.

Perhaps they would still be here if you had made more drawings for them. Maybe if you had kept your opinions to yourself. Maybe if you had just smiled and nodded. Maybe they would still be here.

You became a shell. Hiding yourself away from any possible relationships. Keeping yourself away from anyone else you could possibly hurt with your ignorance. You had friends, it's not like you were lonely. The characters you read about and drew all the time were your friends.

Yet, they began to feel empty. You began to feel empty. Focusing all your time on honing your talent and living in a world of fiction reality became bland. Disgusting even. This only drove you to hide away from it even more.

You were lonely, craving friends and love you knew you couldn't let yourself have. It was like an addiction. You had it once and now you want it more. But nothing else ever hits like that first high does, right?

For the sake of everyone else around you, you cut them all off. You were stung once. Being shelter your whole life you didn't know how to handle it. You gave up on everything and everyone.

You felt hollow.

You met him after one of his shows.

The magician was so insistent you see his next one.

You supposed it couldn't hurt.

So you arrived at his next one.

And then the next.

And the next.

Until you began to see every show of his.

He would speak to you after each one, ask you how your day was. He would tell you about his.

Even after he was ousted as a member of the fatui you still saw his shows. You still spoke with him. It was as if you didn't even care.

Something about him and his magic, the reality bending of it all was beautiful. The most beautiful thing you had seen in ages.

It didn't feel real, yet it was. It was magnificent. He was magnificent.

Nothing could change that. Especially not something as silly as a title or affiliations.

As far as you were concerned, he was wonderful.

Even after he began to show you his true colours.

He had shown you something beautiful, and for that you could only appreciate every side of him.

Everything about him was addictive, every single part and side. Every nook and cranny. Both sides of the beautiful coin.

That's when you realised you became too attached.

You didn't want to ruin something so beautiful with your thorns, so you stopped attending his shows.

Stopped seeing him all together.

You couldn't tarnish something so glorious by hurting the person responsible for it. You couldn't hurt the majesty of it all. The majesty he showed you.

He noticed you stopped attending his shows immediately.

He sought after you for ages. Since you hardly leave you house only for food he didn't find you for a while.

However, once he did he wouldn't leave.

He followed you around, asking all about where you had been.

You wouldn't respond.

All though he wouldn't speak of it, you in a way provided him with a sense of comfort.

You didn't even question him once after he was revealed to be of the House of Hearth.

All though you loved him for being able to break reality, you weren't a monster. You never forced him to keep up his acts. You knew even someone as talented as he needs breaks.

So when he approached you, his hair unstyled and in plain wear with nothing more than a mere request of comforting silence or idle chatter not regarding his work you obliged.

He felt as if he could show both sides of himself to you, both sides of that coin. He could be as flashy or as monotonous as he wished. You granted him a sort of freedom.

He became very quickly attached to you.

When you stopped showing up to his performances he panicked.

Perhaps you were tired of his antics?

It took a long time, but you eventually did open up about why you stopped showing up.

He felt a side of him ache.

You were just about as alone in this world as he was, yet not at the same time.

He had his siblings to talk to, the blonde traveller to talk to. You seemed to have no one.

To learn his shows were a break from the world you viewed of rancid initially and how it brought you to love every part of him.

How ethereal he was to you.

And how you were afraid you would grow obsessive and toxic and how you didn't want that for him.

How he had been the closest thing you've had to a friend in years and how attached you had become.

How worried you were for him, how you adored him so much you were willing to cut yourself away if it meant keeping him safe from something potentially toxic. Even if it meant sacrificing your own happiness.

He wouldn't let you feel this way, no, he couldn't let you feel this way anymore.

He assured you that he would never run away, no matter what sides of yourself you were to show him. After all, you did the same for him.

He would understand and help you learn how to make friends, how to properly interact with others. Yet, he would want you to be the same around him.

In a way, he wanted to help you build a mask to wear like he does but still provide you with people you can be yourself around.

He thinks you are wonderful and misunderstood, yet he understands not all can see that. He wants to protect you like he does his siblings.

It's the only way he knows how to help, and you don't seem to mind either. He can't change everyone or anyone's opinion of you. Those are to each their own. But you can. And he can help you find a way to do that.

He doesn't want you to change who you are, but but doesn't want you to feel isolated and alone anymore either.

So a removable mask seems as if it's the best answer, no?

He also introduces you to his siblings and a blonde traveller along with their adventuring party. You meet a large amount of kind people including a young man who visually strikes quite a similar appearance to your friendly magician with a platinum blonde ponytail and bright crimson eyes and a young woman with a long, pink ponytail that fades to a blue and eyes that seem to have seen things beyond the scope of what a woman her age normally would have.

If you begin to feel nervous making so many new friends and with things changing so quickly, he doesn't hesitate to take things slower. He isn't afraid to make any adjustments for you.

He isn't afraid to return the feeling of freedom you blessed him with, so let him crack that shell of yours and help you spread your wings to soar out of that black abyss of isolation you've been drowning yourself in.

#adelita writes #genshin lyney #lyney #lyney x reader #soft lyney #lyney comfort

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agippangs · 7 months

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hello! i am in dire need of hard dom!jisung. all i ever see anymore is sub!jisung and while i am a sub!jisung enthusiast, sometimes i just want this man to spit in my mouth while he fucks me into oblivion

also i don’t have a spit kink but something about han jisung and spitting makes my head feel fuzzy 😵‍💫

sorry for being so late to this, been having the craziest couple of weeks!

anyway i agree i rarely see dom!ji and there should be more!! boy is definitely a sub-leaning switch! it’s less often that he doms, but whenever he does, he is NOT holding back 😵‍💫

warnings: hard dom!jisung, afab reader; kinks f receiving, mentions of: facial, hair pulling, biting, spanking // everything is consensual!

hard dom!jisung is, without a doubt, a disgusting pervert. he wants it wet and messy, uses lube even though you don’t need it just because nothing motivates him like the obscene squelching of your pussy as he rails you to oblivion. also wants to see you drool and cry; won’t hesitate to add his own spit to the mix if it’s not sloppy enough to his liking. he won’t be satisfied until you’re fucked out like a character straight out his most depraved porn/hentai favorites. he also comes a lot, can come multiple times and loves to watch copious amounts of it drip from your hole, on your tummy, on your face and in your hair (don’t worry, he always takes his time gently washing it out for you in the shower afterwards!)

hard dom!jisung will get PHYSICAL. the sting is fierce when he pulls your hair. as much as he craves a hard slap in the face when he’s subbing, he loves doing it back just as much. never gets tired of using his big (said lovingly) teeth to leave bite marks on your ass and the backs of your thighs when he eats you out from behind. whenever you sub for him there’s no doubt you’re leaving the scene with multiple marks and bruises—signs that you’re his and his only.

and along those lines, say it with me: SPANKING, SPANKING, SPANKING!! it’s one of hard dom!jisung’s favorite things to do in bed, not even as a punishment like most doms, but just for his own enjoyment. it’s almost funny how true he is to his cliché pervy nature, getting so wrapped up in watching the way your ass jiggles that he’ll do it over and over until bruises and tears stain your respective cheeks. you’ve probably had to give him a “yellow” before, it’s one thing he can genuinely get too carried away doing 🥲

#izz writes #skz smut #han smut #han jisung smut #hanji smut #jisung smut #han jisung x reader #skz hard thoughts #han jisung hard thoughts #jisung hard thoughts #han hard thoughts #skz hard hours #hard dom!han jisung #hard dom!jisung

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sayitdido · 9 months

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Nah cause are your request still open?? Like can you do smut? This in my mind all day.. Don't know how to say this but... Yeonjun stalker (non idol) and twitch streamer Reader? Lmaooo I know it's cringe enough but I really wanted this😭😭

a/n: i went overboard and it turned out a lot darker than i thought so sorry anon if this was not what you wanted.

disclaimer: this is a lot darker than my usual fics and contains stalker yandere behavior and revarding this behavior, just know that this kind of action is problematic irl and i do not condone or try to romanticize these kind of actions!this is all fiction!

warnings: stalking, yandere!yeonjun, dom!yeonjun, sub!reader, bdsm, possesiveness, gagging with underwear, degradation, dacryphilia, bondage, yeonjun beats reader up but it is a consensual action,stomach punching, edging(?), reader's mental health is fucked up so she acts self destructive, basically she just lets yeonjun be as problematic as he wants, let me know if there is any that i have missed!

it was as if you were asking for someone to stalk you. always posting your location when you go to a coffee shop or showing the interior of your house which was pretty similar to yeonjun. it was the exact same interior of one of his friends. just to make sure, he followed you home after your post revealed that you were having a brunch in a nearby restaurant.

as he learnt you flat's number, he also checked up your locks to see whether or not it would be easy to break in. he convinced himself that he wasn't actually gonna do that. it was crazy and sick even for him. he was contend with seeing you afar.

but it all changed in one of your streams you talked about a guy you liked. when you talked about his appearance, yeonjun realized you were talking about him. so that menant you saw? and still did nothing to stop the guy who follows you everywhere. were you into that? crazy, he thought.

even though he liked the idea you liking him, the fact that you were still into him after all he had done made him think how stupid you must be to fall for him or too naive to even notice.all he had to do was to use this to his advantage. and with that you saw a 1k tip telling you to confess to him.

it is all gonna worth it, he thought. and since you accepted his challange, there was only one thing left to do, to wait.

he was there sitting close to you waiting. you with all of your courage went up to him. you greeted him, so did he. and finally you said it. "i have been seeing you around for a while. and couldn't help it but you caught my attention. i was wondering if you were up for a date? with me of course." he smiled with victory. he was right even though your description of him wasn't that specific. worth every penny, didn't you?

after he gladly accepted your dating proposal, you two made plans for your first date which ended up being the best date you ever had. of course it would, he knew everything about you. this included what you liked and what you didn't like in a date. even though it is your first date you ended up inviting him over.

you finally felt the need to confess. "you are a dangerous person, right?" a shocked but not surprised expression covered his face. "you want me and you can hurt me. i knew you were stalking me. but instead of being disgusted with the idea, i craved you. i will let you hurt me, i just have one condition."

"what is it?" he asked. "keep me. isn't that also what you want? you probably didn't stalk me for a whole year that i know of and paid me a thousand dollars to confess to you just for one fuck but i need to know for sure." he laughed to your desperation. "of course i am going to keep you but the real question is why do you want this?" you didn't know how to answer. and you sure knew if it wasn't yeonjun but some unattractive middle aged dude in front of you, you wouldn't even want this. "i don't know. maybe i think i deserve it or maybe it's just that you are hot and i am stupid." he smirked.

"come here." he ordered. as soon as you went up to him, he lifted your skirt to took of your panties and stuffed it into your mouth before getting you fully naked. "will you be okay if i were to hurt you anyway i want?" you nodded desperately. "good girl." he praised. "ah some part of me thinks you are too precious to do what i am about to do yet i also need to put desperate slut in her place." you felt fear and excitement covering you whole body at the same time. also he thought you were precious? you felt soft even in a situation like this.

"go to your bed, now." you immediately followed his orders. and layed down on you back. "good girl." he gave you the same praise before punching your stomach. your eyes opened with shocked but you couldn't deny how it turned you on. just as you calmed down a little another one followed. "such a useful whore for me. taking everything without questioning." and another one.

your eyes starting to tear up with pain, your body squirming without your control, he decicmded to tie you up. after finishing the fourth punch followed. "one final one and then we are done, okay?" you nodded. even though you liked it, you were glad than it was soon over. and when the final punch hitted your stomach you screamed in pain audible even in your gagged state and actually started crying.

"i know, i know. but you should see yourself your cries are just masterpiece. you can't even imagine how turned on i am." as you were calming down you felt his hands on your cunt. playing and toying with it, never letting you orgasm. "we are going to have so much fun~" he said while you stared his dar gaze.

credits to: @/cafekitsune for +18 banners!

#txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #yeonjun hard thoughts #yeonjun hard hours #yeonjun smut #dark smut #dark fanfiction

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kigozula · 5 months

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Jacks definitely fell for Evangeline much earlier before the end of TBONA. It doesn’t matter if he needed her for the Valory Arch, this guy protected her by reflex many times and genuinely worried for her. He was even angry when Evangeline thought the worst of him (which he deserved from her pov). He was mad when he saw her struggling under Chaos, yet couldn’t do anything because it would ruin her.

Chaos indirectly told Evangeline that Jacks cares about her. In the Hollow, no matter what his original and current plan was, he left it behind to stay there with Evangeline. If it wouldn’t have been for Evangeline, Chaos and Lala, Jacks was happy with Evangeline there and put everything behind. It was her that made him leave.

And it was so sad. Jacks was hurt ans Evangeline was hurt. He just wanted to believe she loved and wanted him the was he does. He wanted to stay in the hollow with her. I got so sad myself*-*

Both Chaos and Lala noticed and sensed since OUABH that they have growing feelings. Especially about Jacks since they know him better.

In ACFTL, he admitted he thinks about her and wants her from the beginning. But he lied to himself because he would hurt her (that’s what he thought). And tell me all what you want, but I am still not convinced that all his goal was going to Tella. And if, then it actually became a plan at the end to save Evangeline. Because if she can’t remember him, the risk of hurting her decreases. And after her memories were taken away, he realized how much it hurts him. How much it would have hurt him even when he would have went to the past with the stones. He would always crave her, love her and want her.

I think he planned too much behind her back for the Valory Arch. But Jacks is a loyal man. He didn’t do all of it for himself. He did it for Chaos and Lala and the Valors too.

And since the curse on Evangeline that Lala put on her (I still can't believe no one was mad at her and she got away without any consequenses when she constantly hated on Apollo and Aurora although she did the exact things) would kill her, Jacks' motive changes again: to save Evangeline from the Archers and Mirror curse.

The only thing I truly hate is, and I also just skip because it is absolutely irrelevant, yet I want you guys to know: the Darling Sister, and the first fox disaster. The Darling thing was just for mock, to unnecessarily fill a page that made zero sense and was completely banal and disgusting. A page I rip. Though about the fox girl, it is confirmed that he wasn’t in love. Evangeline is the only girl ever he fell in love with. Cares for. Wants and loves.

And the things he told Lala. I absolutely think he is corrupt to lie to others and himself because deep down he knows telling the truth will hurt Evangeline, kill her.

And Apollo, oh boy. I wished he would have had another end. He clearly cared for Evangeline and his struggle in TBONA was so heartbreaking. Jacks saw that and that is why he told her in ACFTL that he believed she is safe with Apollo. I liked Apollo too and would have welcomed it if he would have had a happy ending himself. Same goes for Luc. Both of them got cursed and then their lives changed for the worse. And no one cared?

I honestly didn’t expect it to be like this, but I am so glad it is the way it is! Jacks true love as in, the only girl he truly fell in love with, loved so deeply and couldn’t stay away and who felt those things for him as well, is the one who breaks the curse. Which is Evangeline Fox!

#ouabh #tbona #acftl #evajacks #evangeline fox #jacks the prince of hearts

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stinkyme · 7 months

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Hello! This is Nikolai fic I had an idea of, I hope you like it and enjoy it! :) <3

There are parts to this story that discuss death, reader is NOT suicidal, but metaphorically speaking, envying how the dead even have more freedom with their emotions than a living human. Also, they misunderstand Nikolai's idea of freedom because of lack of informations (they know he needs to die for a plan, so misinterpretation happens). There is also a part in the beginning that mentions their ability coming to an end, they are unaware of Fyodor's desire to kill all ability users, they just know they could be free from their ability. (this is very briefly mentioned, one sentence)

CW/TW: SFW, gn!reader, reader works at DoA and has an ability "Dead Souls", they don't like Nikolai at first, reader is also a bit mean/sharp/bitter at first, the story follows part of the main plot, bickering, sometimes sassy Nikolai, cursing, reader has never been in love or had friends, reader doesn't allow themselves to feel a lot due to the ability, a lot of dialogue and inner monologue, misunderstandings, Nikolai & reader prank Sigma, kinda slow burn, "friends" to enemies to lovers…?, they get into an argument, reader slaps Nikolai & uses harsh words, they make up, fluff and romance (yikes😒), if I forgot anything please let me know! :)

Also, there is a small portion where Nikolai and reader discuss his card, I am a bit of a fanatic towards tarot & regular cards, so I wanted to add that part because I think it's really interesting for Nikolai's character + it creates a bit of intimacy :) (basically, 3 of spades represents a failure in achieving a certain desire; outcome different than firstly anticipated. Usually disappointment, however, I wanted to make a little twist to it, given the nature of the fic, so his plan fails for other cheesy reasons :3)

* This mostly stems from my need for fluffy Nikolai and because I am an awful, cheesy & romantic person. (I disgust myself and you should be disgusted too)

I digress...I thought that using one of the works from an irl author to sort of...make an opposite, but similar to bsd Nikolai when it comes to freedom could be interesting. Ability isn't fully connected to a book itself, it's more my own interpretation + using the name to make it! :D Also, names are from the book, descriptions of souls in this case is different since I wanted to make a little variety :)

** When Nikolai says "So is graveyard", he isn't threatening to kill the reader, but teasing their ability and dead vibe/behavior or rather lack of excitement :3

I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

this is long, I am sorry, spam how disgusting I am pls.....an AO3 link is here and in the fic, since it couldn't fit LOL

A cage of freedom || Nikolai Gogol x Reader

Dead Souls. That was your ability which you hated. It had some good parts, of course, but it mostly limited you in your own essence. Part of your ability allowed you to see other people's essence, their soul and one thing they crave the most. Different part was granting you power to see, speak to and help souls of the dead to pass on when they are ready.

It all sounds like a lovely thing to experience, except it wasn't.

Indeed, the souls could help you as well, grant you needed information, take care of your blind spots, even fight for you.

However, everything has a price.

Yours was your own soul. Not in a way people usually imagine.

Your ability didn't allow you to feel much. The dead who get stuck in the physical realm are already feeling a lot of heavy emotions - such as grief, pain, anger, sorrow and anxiety. Therefore, your own emotions had to be in constant check so you wouldn't be disturbing the souls attached to you and possibly ruin their remaining stability. With that being known, you realized that the best way is to not experience anything at all or rather, as little as possible.

You didn't allow yourself to experience fear, anxiety or sadness. You learned to detach yourself and naturally, the stories of the poor souls made your endurance much bigger. Another big rule you had was not falling in love or loving people. They can leave at any moment and completely ruin the ground beneath you which would trap those souls you take care of in the worst parts of existence - eternal suffering and no memories of their lives.

People can hurt you, they are unpredictable and dishonest, as much as you can see the part of their essence - that doesn't protect your own. It is always better not to risk it. That's what you've learned after so many years of living the way you do.

Which is why you were a perfect fit for Decay of Angels.

Someone who is rational, not emotion driven and has a flexible ability that actually grants more than one person. Fyodor was beyond intrigued, and you were beyond satisfied with their goal. You wanted your own ability to come to an end, but also, to stop the war.

Aftermaths of wars still have souls lingering to this day, too damaged to be helped and you always feel a faint sting in your heart when you can't do anything. You can't even grieve them or cry over them, just forcefully accept endless suffering like it's nothing, but an inconvenience.

You were deprived of basic human experience and the right - to feel. You were not a psychopath, nor a sociopath, no. You had to forcefully cage your own heart and limit anything that may come in or out of it. As much as you would like to say it does become easier, some days remind you that it's not.

To say you crave a friendship, a love, a passion, a sadness, an intense happiness, a heartbreak, a feeling of being alive after being surrounded by nothing but death for as long as you remember was an understatement.

Sometimes, the souls would apologize to you, they felt your desires too. They were beyond grateful for your work, but they also knew the suffering they were causing to you.

Being stripped away from a life - in a living, functioning body in which the blood runs and heart beats intensely was nothing more than a punishment. Nothing less than a cruel joke. Just a simple slavery to your own unfortunate circumstance. You were a warm flesh covering your own cage, pretending to be alive while craving the freedom of the dead. A freedom of everyone else.

Even the worst scums on earth had a right to feel, but you? No.

You were deprived of a choice even before you were given one.

When you met the rest of the Angels, you were not impressed by any, given the fact you already knew you wouldn't attach yourself. A quick glance at their essences told you everything you needed to know.

Sigma, Bram, Fukuchi, Fyodor and finally Nikolai.

A home.

A sleep. A family. It switches depending on whether he is awake or asleep.

An end to a war.

Salvation and cleansing.

A freedom.

You want to scoff. A freedom? From what?

It often mildly annoys you how people's deepest desires are either shallow, overly egoistical or simply attainable. Some people desire to change the world in the name of God, old or dead friends which is always an excuse for them to do whatever they think is right. Nobody can out-perfect the dead and you know it very well.

God is always used as a pedestal to explain human's extremities and allow them destruction in the name of higher good. Past can never not be sorrow and similarly to the dead - nothing can out-perfect it or change it. It all seems like a valid excuse simply because it can't be touched by humans. A past, the dead, a God. It's all singular and unchangeable. Therefore, it is undiscussable and immediately accepted as a valid reasoning for human's selfishness.

Some people desire a home or a family. Those are valid desires of any human and to those you can relate to.

However, for most humans it holds no meaning. They are shallow in their desires. It's often a one-way street. They want to be loved and to be safe or secure, but they aren't ready to give the same treatment back. Or simply, they try to heal their own lack of certain emotions or feelings through physically conventional things.

To make up for something they are not.

But one thing they all are. Humans are greedy. Once they attain home or a family, they desire something else. More. More. More. It's always more. They always want more of life. They never learn to appreciate what they have and the freedom of choice they were given. The very beginning of it - a freedom to desire things. It could be your own mild bitterness speaking, but given your position, it was a fair mindset to have. You were not allowed to even desire too much or too hard.

Some people desire things they already have. Those you hated the most - as much as you were allowed to hate.

They were either creepily shallow in a way such as - desiring more money when they already have everything they could possibly need. Desiring more partners; more love or passion when they already have a person who is completely devoted to them. Wanting more excitement, more happiness, more friends - everything they already had, but didn't appreciate, or could achieve without breaking a sweat.

A freedom?

There were people who desired freedom for good reasons. Abusive marriages, families or relationships. Being disabled or mentally ill. Being sick. Being overly pressured. Suffering things such as slavery, sex trafficking and similar. They desire freedom too and you know that. You don't speak of them, and you are aware of your own ungratefulness sometimes.

But, human tragedies and pains are not to be compared because one will always seem smaller than the other, but emotions on each side will always remain. Desire on each side will always remain. Helplessness will always remain.

They will connect through their despair which humans are either awfully good or bad at.

You are the bad one. You can only connect to the dead, and even then, your input and output must be limited. Your heart shall not open more than an inch. If you could stitch it to be shut closed - you would.

But you can't. Because certain empathy is needed for your ability to work. Not too much or too little of anything. To some it may seem like balance, but in reality it's torture.

Either feel everything or nothing at all. Feel as much as you need to feel.

Because experiencing life in low, limited measurement is like a soul is sick. Experiencing life in rare tea spoons of what it means to be living. Get a drop of water when there is an endless, clean ocean in front of you. A few breaths of being alive in-between what seems like endless suffocation.

It's awful and excruciating. It feels tightening. It feels like your soul is constipated to say the least. It feels torturous.

Therefore, quite frankly, you can't help but experience a small jolting of nerves when you witness someone like him. Someone who seems so obnoxious, so loud, so out there, so shamelessly being themself. Someone who has all the freedom, who isn't bound by the dead, by the living, by the suffering, by his own ability. Hell, even listening about his ability makes you want to puke.

"My ability grants me to store things in my coat right here! I can also create portals and transfer my body parts or things. Pretty cool, isn't it?!" he is twirling around while he speaks, his voice enthusiastic.

"A true ability for a true magician!" he claps his hands before bowing down. As if he did something amazing.

You don't even say a word, a faint disgust on your face.

"Oh~, you don't seem impressed," his voice softens.

"How about now?!" he transports his hand from his coat to the other member named Sigma, squishing his cheek. Sigma yelps, giving him an irritated look.

"Could you stop that?!" he yells as he unsuccessfully tries to slap Nikolai's hand away as he reverts it back quickly, giggling.

"Interesting." you say in an obviously disinterested tone. Nikolai looks at you, his expression confused for a moment.

"Ah, sarcasm! Got it!" he snaps his fingers before pointing at you.

"What about you, though? What's your ability?" he asks with a little smile on his face.

"I can speak to the dead." you deadpan and both men's expressions change to a slight shock.

"Really?" Nikolai asks, a bit intrigued.

"Really. I can communicate with them and help them cross once they are ready." you nod, your whole demeanor calm.

"That's spooky!" he says in a lower, but still expressive tone, covering his mouth with his hand that was further covered by the coat.

"Not at all. It's depressing, but rewarding at times." you reply in a casual tone.

"Hm...still, quite spooky to me." he replies in a quieter tone.

"To each its own." you shrug. The silence fills the room, feeling a bit awkward, but as if it could affect you.

"So...are there any dead people with us now?" Sigma whispers.

"Quite a few actually. Around five at the moment." you smile as you rest your chin on your palm.

"Your whisper woke them, they seem to be quite angry with you. They will begin to hunt soon." you give him a sly gaze.

"Why?! I didn't do anything! How do I-"

"I am kidding. They don't care." you say in a slightly playful tone, calming an anxious man down. He would never be able to have your ability, it's entertaining to witness.

"So you do have a sense of humor after all! We will make a great pair." Nikolai giggles at your teasing. He sits next to you and you feel the disgust climb up your throat.

Naturally, you tone it down immediately. For your own and the souls' sake.

"I don't think so." you raise your eyebrow at him, lips curling down a bit. Nikolai gives you a slightly confused expression.

"If I leave now, will they follow me?" Sigma whispers again and it makes you sigh out.

"No, they won't follow you. Unless you are the reason they are bound in the physical realm or I order them, they won't care about you." your voice is comforting. You understand people's anxiety around you and rarely blame them. It's better than those who cling onto you. Like this damn clown.

Sigma nods, letting a little sigh out from relief. He waves to you and leaves the room, you assume to the Casino he was in charge of.

"Do you want to prank him later?" Nikolai giggles happily, elbowing your arm. You want to rip his arm apart, but remain calm - as always.

"Not interested." you slowly get up, making a leave of your own.

You stop for a moment, turning around to face him. Nikolai's expression seems innocent and dumb-founded.

"One more thing though. I can also see the souls of people and their biggest desire. Quite frankly, yours disgusts me. So, if you would be so kind as to stay away from me unless it's a work thing." you give him a polite smile, regardless of your voice being sharp. You open the door and leave the room to go to your own before a mission.

......Continue on AO3

#nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol bsd #nikolai gogol x reader fluff #nikolai gogol x you #nikolai gogol x y/n #bsd nikolai #bsd imagines #bsd fic #bsd fluff #bsd romance #nikolai gogol fluff

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betterfettered · 4 months

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Hey, I hope you’re doing well!

I noticed in your post about the brothers’ first red flag that you mentioned that Lucifer’s darling would still have been going to school at the time, but (both in that post and others) you have also mentioned kidnapping and some of the brothers wanting to keep their darling inside all day, which made me wonder about what darling’s schedule is supposed to be for each of them?

Like, do they allow darling out to attend their classes, or do they hold them captive at home all day? Do they have any regular outings/events that their yan brings them along for? Are there things their darling is expected to do while they’re at home (whether the yan is there too or not), or do they sort of just wait around for their yan to tell them what to do?

I live! I love this question anon, it really had me thinking deeply about what I've written before 🧐

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere, please let me know if reader is gendered)(noncon)(violence against reader)(kidnapping)(18+ readers only please, mdni)(Please let me know if I am missing a TW)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Yandere!Lucifer is not likely to keep you captive. Even though what he really craves is complete control over you, he wants it to mold you into his ideal member of society. He wants you to be a good and obedient student, to be polite to Diavolo and Barbatos, to be temperate and well mannered in public, and most of all to listen to everything that he says. Keeping you locked away is unnecessary if you are behaving as he wants you to. I can imagine that on days when he's feeling particularly needy and doesn't want to bother with you hiding or making excuses or running one of the eight times he wants to fuck you that day, he might just chain you up in the basement for a little while until he is watching cum stream out of your bruised body and feels satisfied with how much he's ruined you.

Yandere!Mammon is also not likely to kidnap you, cause he's not smart enough to actually fool you into a situation where you're vulnerable enough to be held captive without you realizing it he would feel too bad about your obvious distress and could be talked out of it if you buttered him up enough. He would be okay with you going to school, but you need to be glued to his side the entire time. You need to hold his hand as you walk to school, you need to let him shove his tongue down your throat in the hallways when you run into each other, you have to sit on his lap and cockwarm him in the library when you two are both studying (though usually he gets impatient with that and tries to fuck you). If he's thinking about locking you up you'll be able to see it coming from a mile away, and you'll just need to reassure him you only have eyes for him to kick the can a few months down the road.

Yandere!Leviathan is absolutely going to kidnap you. He doesn't like to leave his room anyway and his self esteem is not good enough for him to believe that you don't start thinking about being with other people as soon as he isn't demanding your attention. Once you're in his room, he's the only person there, so by default he's the hottest, funniest, nicest, most interesting and, of course, the most fuckable. He has you mixed up in his mind with the overly horny girls who resemble you in the hentai he watches constantly, so he thinks if he's the only other person there eventually your lust will get the best of you and you'll be all over him. That's why even when he forces himself on you, he knows that it's okay because he's helping to satisfy your needs. You'd probably go crazy, he thinks, if he doesn't cum in you at least once a day, so he doesn't feel bad even when you cry. You're just getting used to it.

He's not going to bring you to anything outside of the room and will feel betrayed if you ask him to. When he's not there, he expects you to read manga or books or watch anime that he assigns to you. Sometimes they'll be perverted, but a lot of the time it'll just be things that he is obsessed with like TSL. That way you won't get bored and you can talk to him about it when he gets back. You can also cuddle and watch them together, which is almost his favorite thing to do with you.

Yandere!Satan will also eventually end up kidnapping you. He wants complete control of you similarly to how Lucifer does, but he doesn't particularly care about societal norms or etiquette. The important things for you to understand are how best to respect him and when to shut up, and he can teach you those things himself with his hands, a belt, and a switch. You going to school is a waste of your time because there is nothing about your life that will require a degree and a waste of his time because classes and school schedules get in the way of him studying you. He'll go to school if Lucifer makes him, but most of the time he wants to sit alone with you in his room, ordering you around. Sometimes he'll ask for ridiculous things or impossible things just to see how you react, and sometimes he'll pretend that he's asking you for things to see how you'll react so he doesn't have to admit that he is getting off on it. But you'll be able to tell -- when he asks you to sit on his lap so he can finger you, for example, you'll be able to see the hunger in his eyes as he watches your expression and know that soon enough he's going to pin you down and fuck you.

He'd bring you outside or to special events if you have been well behaved and you ask him nicely, perhaps with an explanation for why it would be beneficial for you to go. While he's away, he doesn't mind if you read books, practice your magic, or even open the window a little for some fresh air. He thinks you have the appropriate judgment to know what things are off limits - if you don't, the punishment you get will leave your skin so raw that you won't ever forget.

Yandere!Asmodeus is definitely not going to kidnap you, because he's way too delusional to think that you don't want to be with him whenever you have the ability to. Whenever he gets his hands on you, he says that he knows you missed him and you must have been so dejected without him. If you play your cards right, you definitely could spend enough time around him that you are satisfying his narcissistic view of you and making him feel like the most important person in your life, and all you'd need to worry about is being subjected to his constant lust. If you did not, however, he'd start paying attention to who you are actually spending time with when you're not with him and carefully orchestrate a plan to seriously hurt them (most likely psychologically rather than physically). Next he sees you, he'll point out how much it is your fault until you seem completely inconsolable, at which point he'll definitely "comfort" you as he sees fit.

It's only a matter of time before Yandere!Beel kidnaps you to "keep you safe", which I've talked about before. It would bother him that it upsets you, but he would still know that it's the right choice. He holds out a lot of delusion hope that soon you'll understand why he is doing this, which is the only thing that keeps him from feeling guilty enough to let you go. In the meantime, he'll bring you plenty of food to eat and lovingly feed it to you whether you want to eat it or not. Eating always helps! Most of the time he'll be as nice as possible to you and try not to force too much physical affection on you, but he has no self-control once his desire gets too strong, at which point he has no regard for your willingness or comfort. He'll fuck you roughly even though his cock is a little too big to fit without hurting you, grope and manhandle you hard enough to leave you sore for days and bite you to the point of drawing blood. Usually it starts with him convincing himself that he's just going to give you head, but the taste of your cum drives him into a bit of a frenzy. Afterwards he'd be sorry and try to help soothe you as much as you'll let him, but the both of you know it'll happen again.

He'll let you out if you can convince him that it will be safe and allow him to accompany you, and he doesn't have any expectations for what you do on your own when he's not there. He's the most permissive of the bros who would kidnap you, and might even let you have your cellphone or keep you locked in your own room instead of his. If you made him really jealous, only Belphie would be able to visit, but otherwise he might allow you to have supervised play dates with the other brothers. The more you abuse his trust, though, he less permissive he will be because you are jeopardizing your own safety.

Yandere!Belphie is sooo 50/50. On the one hand, kidnapping and keeping you from escaping is a lot of work and it makes him sleepy just to think about it. On the other, he does have a jealousy streak and is sick of the way you just give your attention to anyone who asks for it. In the end I think what would decide whether or not you get kidnapped is whether you manage to play his games without pissing him off. You sleeping in his bed nightly and letting him have his way with you or babying him during the day and enabling him to be lazy is not going to be enough to prove that he is really special to you. Instead, he wants you to accept the strange behavior that you bring out of him. If he lashes out at you and asks you why you're such a whore because you were studying with Satan, you should actually answer with a reason and then promise to be less of a whore in the future. As his obsession progresses, he will start to ask for more and more unreasonable things to make you prove your loyalty because in the end it is very hard for him to trust that you love him the way that he loves you.

Once he finally asks for something you can't comply with, it's likely that he will lock you in the attic to punish you. He'll be pretty cruel, starving you and not giving you water, blindfolding you and then releasing giant black rats into the room so you don't know if you're going to be bitten or attacked, and then also just plain hitting you. If you want him to stop or to bring you food or water, you'll have to suck him off first (and of course let him finish on your face or head) or ride him. If you do so, he'll stop whichever punishment he's subjecting you to and be affectionate and kind to you and let you sleep in the bed with him instead of on the floor. Once you're not reluctant to put out and you return the affection and apologize as many times as he feels like you need to, he'll let you go from your captivity.

Always feel free to send more asks :3

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writing-frenzy · 9 months

Text

Beautiful Disaster AU

So, here I am, on a serious Shang Qinghua/Airplane bro binge because sometimes you just crave a thing and can't let go, and I ended up getting inspired by these two posts :) Link and Link So here I go.

Edit: Forgor to set a link for part two, my bad.

Also, here is this poem that also inspired a thing and also gave the name for this AU~

`Beautiful Disaster~ By Nikita Gill If he tastes like the rainfall, Looks like a summer storm, Fights for you like a forest fire; he's a tornado of trouble. (And you need to hold on to him and never ever let him go.)

So yeah, I took a look at that, and thought it actually fit both Shen Jiu and SQH/Airplane well, if in different ways. (Shen Jiu the tornado and Airplane bro the forest fire, but oh, how SJ fights like lightening in a storm, ready to burn everything away, while SQH is tricky like the wind, saving most of his energy for when it really matters until you can't see anything past the wails and talismans.)

So yeah, watch me stumble into a scumplane with Ghost!Shen Jiu :3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It starts ever so simply, Shen Jiu watching as that fake is so happily accepted, all the other Peak Lords seeming to rejoice at having them there, even the disciples pleased and ever so willing to bark for the man wearing his face, the little beast practically panting after him every step he takes.

It disgusts him, makes him grind his teeth, makes him want to scream, shout, curse like he hasn't since he was just a desperate slave, how many visit his former home, his sanctuary now a cage of bamboo and frustration, rage, and bitterness. Watches how Peak Lord after Peak Lord visits, each charmed, some slowly, some in less than a second, guests of all types and titles leaving yet obviously wanting to stay.

All except for one.

"Ha-hahaaa, hello Peak Lord Shen, I'm here to deliver the order forms for the new training instruments and inkstones." The An Ding Peak Lord, Shang Qinghua laughs weakly, even as the fake narrows eyes at him over his favored fan. Shen Jiu glares, wishing he could rip it to shreds, throw it away, burn it so that it is no longer being defiled by this body snatcher.

"You may leave them with my disciples, Ming Fan or Binghe can take care of it." is the dismissive response of this other, lesser fake goods, even as Shen Jiu wants to scream.

"These are my duties; these are the responsibilities of a Peak Lord, you cannot hand them off to mere children, much less the beast." The real Shen QingQiu wants to howl, but it only comes out as whispered words through clenched teeth, the ghost not able to open his mouth for the anger choking him.

"Ah, about that my fellow Peak Lord, these contents are not for the eyes of disciples, I'll need your seal of approval on them as well." Shang Qinghua seems to wince, sounding rather apologetic, but it is this refusal that gains Shen Jiu's attention, actually surprised to hear someone being reasonable since the switch happened.

(The first time he's seen anyone actually refuse his cuckoo of a replacement.)

And is just in time to see the cold, cutting calculation the supposedly 'apologetic' man hides with his bowed head, before it is gone just as fast as he raises it.

It is the start of his interest in Shang Qinghua, that man he considered a rat in life, only to show just how clever he is after Shen Jiu died.

Watches how the man sneakily tests the fake, teas for cleansing snuck in here and there, talismans deceptively hidden in paintings, vases of flowers that detect malevolent, demonic energies.

And even with none of it being triped, the Fake able to somehow breeze past all these tests, Shang Qinghua still watches, guarded and suspicious, without ever letting his cuckoo even suspect it.

It is... gratifying, even if it is from that rat, to know someone still does not trust in what they see, that they too judge the fake and decide to actually question it. It is more than what his own disciples have done.

(It is more than what his Qi-ge has given, still ever so tolerant, ravished as he is for any crumbs, he can fucking get like the dogs they were.)

Changes only happen after what is apparently a disastrous conference, with intriguing, if terrifying secrets coming to light.

"Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky!"

"Peerless Cumber?!"

Hearing their words, it brings in new consideration for his circumstances, makes his already yin filled core seem to freeze at just what he is hearing.

Some kind of fate that forces you into another's dead body, chains one to follow it with little hope for change, even forcing a literary god from the sounds of it to be reborn into a human, never actually expecting their words to come to life, just trying to live as it were like any other storyteller from the streets.

(Remembers how any damage he does is just as quickly erased, as if it has never happened, as if there isn't a resentful ghost clawing at the walls, ready to destroy any in its way at the first chance it gets.)

Shang Qinghua, or Airplane as it were, visits more after that, plotting and planning with his bodysnatcher, who while he still hates, would be willing to gut if possible (but... can understand, so painfully understand being forced and chained, even if he was lucky enough his Masters were very much mortal at least).

But while there are no longer any suspicions in those eyes (the calculations are of course still there), they are instead replaced by a... mournful quality?

"Rest in Peace, Shen-Shixiong." is said in the middle of the night one day, when his fake has long since slept, the words like a whisper in the wind. In his mind's eye, he can smell the incense of sandalwood and jasmine, with an offering of melon seeds beside it...

...!

oh...

... Not once, not since he has been stuck in his home, has he heard his Shang-Shidi call the imposter Shixiong...

For that night, Shen Jiu stares at one of the pictures on the walls of his bamboo house, keen eyes seeing the subtle symbols for mourning on it, a subtle 9 easily hidden among the strokes if one was not a master like himself, the rage a quiet thing tonight as he thinks.

And then, one day, seemingly normal for all it is a quiet day at his peak, Shen Jiu finds that whatever was trapping him, caging him, chaining him to his bamboo house turned prison is gone.

He doesn't miss his chance, out the door before his mind can catch up, before he fully realizes he has been freed. It is only once he is off his mountain, out from that sect, away from everyone, that Shen Jiu realizes he has a choice.

He can feel it, he can feel his body even with the distance he is, knows exactly which direction to go if he wants to reclaim it. And he could, he could do so rather easily he can tell, whatever link between it and chained binding his imposter had gone...

...But why should he?

Why should he? Why should he go back to all those so willing to trade him for his knock off, why should he go back to people who will only be disappointed in the return of the 'old Shen-QingQiu' even if it is the true one.

Why should he debase himself to go crawling back to people in a body even more wrecked then his Qi-Deviation left it, all wanting something he is not and will never be?

(Go to see that panting, drooling Beast, to the desperate, stalking Brute, to that disappointing, clinging to scraps and fakes Brother Sect Leader?

To see those calculating, distrusting, mournful brown eyes? As weak as he is now? Not worthy to even be called Shixiong.)

Shen Jiu pauses, turning aways from where he can feel his body, where all those lies and expectations are, into a different direction, where death calls and the yin energy beacons any foolish or ambitious or both to answer.

He can feel it in his distant bones, trembling in his ghostly yin qi running through his spiritual body, his other choice.

The Gates of the City of Gu are about to open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's note:

*Me looking at Airplane, his trust issues, his knowledge of just how fucked up his story could be, thinking of alllllll those wife plots and the trickery* No way this man didn't try a few ways to see if Shen QingQiu was possessed by something or another; not that he doubts the all knowing sword, but yeah, he doubts the fucking sword.

Also, if anyone were to find out that Airplane was technically the creator god, I headcanon people would assume he was a literary god who either gained too much power on accident or some other gods decided to fuck around for shits and giggles because they could.

Also, Shen Jiu would be smart enough to figure out about the system, even if he doesn't know exactly what it is, the concept he understands fucking terrifies him; no way would he go back into his body giving the choice, being so weak from without a cure and whatever the fuck the imposter did to it to where he can go back. He'll take his fucking chances.

(Besides... his Shidi like demons well enough, why not a Calamity?) :3

#scum villian self saving system #scum villain #Shen Jiu #Shang Qinghua #airplane shooting towards the sky #OG!Shen QingQiu #Scumplane #Jiuplane

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vantardigrada · 2 months

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Part two of my coping-thingy

Part 1

That evening they were sitting on the little sofa in the bookshop, angel and snake huddled up together, reading a book about gravity. Crowley was the one who chose it, he always did. The Angel would love to read some books about humans and their lives. But somehow they sensed that Crowley wasn’t going to like being confronted with the hurt all stories about humans seemed to inherit. So they read him everything about science and astronomy, though it was not really amusing to them.

In the middle of a really boring chapter full of equations they stoped. They needed to say something, something they were thinking about all day. The snake looked at them, upset about the break.

“Crowley, listen. I really enjoy spending time with you. But this can’t go on like this forever.” Something in the yellow eyes changed. They could feel the thin body growing tense around their arms. There was fear somewhere in those eyes, fear usually hidden by dark shades.

“No, don’t get me wrong, I won’t leave here. But you have to. I am new on earth, but even I know, that you can’t spend your time brooding until I come around and take care of you. Please, go outside sometimes. Talk to people, do something!”

The snake hissed quietly but the angel took that as a good sign.

“First thing in the morning you slither over to Maggie’s and thank her for the vinyl. She deeply cares about you.”

It wasn’t a question rather than a command. The snake let go of their arms, resting its head at their shoulder and closing its eyes. The angel took that as an approval.

The next morning a tall man with red hair and dark shades stepped out of the bookshop at the street corner. It was a familiar face to the shopkeepers, though they hadn’t seen it in a long time. The man made his way through the shopping people. Most were in a hurry and didn’t take the time to admire the beautiful day. The sun shone from a blue sky framed by that sort of clouds that aren’t really white when you gave a closer look. Like blue eyes in a face framed with soft white hair. No, most of the people didn’t care for the sky, it was just a thing of daily matter, always there, sometimes full of wonder, but something reliable, something you could take for granted.

The man swaggered into the shop next door, a record shop, run by a woman who was known to be the kind of person you could count on. Always carrying for the people around her. As the man opened the door and set foot into the room behind, the woman cried out in excitement and rushed over to hug him.

“Crowley! You’re back!”

Crowley frowned as in disgust, pretending once more to be unaffected by gestures like this, but finally he gave in and hugged Maggie back. As they let go of each other, Crowley spoke the first time in weeks. Even as he showed up drunk on Aziraphales Doorstep, half expecting him to open, he didn’t say a word to the angel opening instead. Muriel just let him in and he threw himself in his armchair, inhaling Aziraphales scent. He didn’t just stoped talking that day, he also stoped breathing, not able to stand the smell of books and tea any longer. While he fought the urgh to breathe, his corporation craving the air it had no use for, it settled.

“Thank you for the album. I wasn’t listening to any music lately, I didn’t even realised how much I missed it. Thanks for showing me.”

Maggie was stunned. Did he just thank her twice? That wasn’t the man she knew, the one following Aziraphale around, always grumpy and cynical. What happend to him?

“It’s allright, love. I just figured you would like something to hear in the bookshop, since you don’t drive the Bentley anymore. You were always listening to Queen so loud, well…”

Crowley smiled, or at least he tried to, but it looked like a attempt of a man who forgot which muscles to use.

“I was about to get my morning coffee, do you want to join? We could just sit and talk for a while, if you’d like.”

“Yes, why not? Haven’t done that in a while…”

They closed the shop, Maggie eying him like a deer she could accidentally scare away if she made a fast movement.

“Well if that isn’t ‘Mr. Six-Espresso-in-one-big-cup’!”

Nina said as they entered the Café. She walked over to them, patting Crowleys shoulder.

“It’s nice to see you again.”

Nina brought them coffee and they just sat and talked. They talked about the rather nice weather for this time of the year, about how the record-shop was going a little better the last months and they talked about music. At some point Nina joined the conversation and the three of them sipped their coffees on the terrace. The sun on Crowleys skin, like the warm touch of an angel, he watched the people hurry by under the yellow and orange trees along the street, strangely calming to take in. It seemed like the words he didn’t use in the last weeks now boiled to the surface, making him more chatty than anyone who knew him, except maybe Aziraphale, ever thought him to be. Of course, it was nothing to deep they were talking about, but still. In this moment he felt better. He was still hurting like…, well, like hell, but for once he could focus on something else than his pain.

And than the conversation stoped. In the following silence Crowley could feel the question coming, the question he knew to be inevitable. The question he was afraid of. He saw the looks Maggie and Nina gave each other, could feel the words, only just as many as stars in the universe, and oh, he of all would know, retreat from his tongue.

“Crowley, what happened?”

He starred at Nina, completely empty once again, only feeling this pain. As he begun to talk, all

pretended sarcasm he normally showed, was gone.

“We talked.”

“And?”

Maggie asked. Crowley gave her a long look through his obligatory shades but remained silent.

“See, Muriel wouldn’t talk about it, they just said: ‘If you want to know something, ask Mr. Crowley.’ And we saw you storming out of that bookshop, driving away in your car. We saw Mr. Fell locking the shop and leaving with this elderly man. We just couldn’t make sense of it. We figured Mr. Fell would have returned by now.”

“He won’t. Got a job offer he couldn’t turn down.”

“A job offer? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Nina frowned.

“Well, they needed an new supreme archangel after Gabriel disappeared with Beelzebub. And so… And Aziraphale believes that he can ‘change things’ when he is in charge. So he left.”

“Without you?”

“He asked me to come with him. But he went to the one place in this universe where i can’t follow him. I don’t want to be an angel, and i thought…”

Crowleys Voice cracked. He could feel heat gathering in his chest, could feel his guts squirming when he thought about their conversation. The way Aziraphale looked at him with joy, thinking about their time in heaven. Didn’t he know Crowley after 6000 years enough to know, that this was never an option? That the angel he knew, was gone for good, when God threw him out of heaven? All those years together. Was Aziraphale waiting for this moment all along? To have the possibility to make Crowley worthy of his love? No, it couldn’t be, that was not how Aziraphale thought. And still…

“You thought he wouldn’t mind you being a demon.”

Crowley sank down in himself. His throat was suddenly dry, he couldn’t speak anymore. These thoughts were spiraling in his head ever since the day Aziraphale left. To hear his own doubts out of Maggies mouth… that was to much.

“No, but I saw the way he looked at you. How he trusted you to save us. He loves you.”

“Please don’t…”

Crowley knew Aziraphale loved him, he always did. He just needed to hear it from him, just this one time. He could feel his angels arms tightening around him once more. The short but certain moment he gave in and kissed Crowley before he stepped back. This moment, the places his angel touched him forever burning his skin. He knew Aziraphale loved him, but it seemed like their love was not enough to keep his angel at his side.

The three sat at their table, nobody dared to break the silence. After an eternity, or was it just a few moments, Muriel entered the Café.

“Hey! Jolly good to see you all together!”

Maybe the angel did a miracle to lighten the mood a little or it was just the way of rushing in on them, but it was as if with their appearance a heavy black cloth lifted from the table. Nina went back to pouring Coffee for her costumers and Crowley felt a little more secure with Muriel around. He never thought that this naiv and fuzzy angel could become so important to him.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #a waterbear attempts to write

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beanghostprincess · 2 months

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Shanks had to do some shady shit with big mom and she invited them for a tea party or something. She must have been craving chocolate or something because everything was chocolate mean chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate fudge brownies anything and everything was chocolate including silverware and even the cups or chocolate.

She notices him not eating anything or at least picking at it and confronts him. Yasopp admits he doesn't like chocolate never had a taste for it and thinks it's gross. She insist that he tries it because you've never tried chocolate made like her (insert kid here. maybe pudding's chocolate idk). They make the best chocolate, he tastes it and is immediately disgusted. He tries to lie and say that he likes it but then gets caught spitting it out in a napkin offending the fuck big mom.

After some back and forth and some threats shanks tried to come everything down by trying to make a compromise that instead of chocolate he gets caramel. Unfortunately the answer was NO!! if she wanted everyone to have caramel she would have served caramel He's going to eat the fucking chocolate or everyone is getting killed (which sucks because roux was having the time of his life eating a chocolate table) those are his only options. So yeah, in short this grown man was force fed chocolate. They were later chased off the island when he ended up puking behind a bush (that bush might have been sentient💀). He's hated it ever since just looking at chocolate makes him sick and also angry. The red hair pirates and Big Mom are now enemies because yasopp didn't like her chocolate that's one of the biggest offense there is to big mom

Another story is that during usopp's first birthday on the ship Sanji made him a dark chocolate lava cake with powdered sugar and vanilla ice cream with hot fudge on top. He ate it anyway and said nothing about not liking chocolate. Sanji found out of his distaste for chocolate when usopp backed away from him, Nami and Luffy. All three of them still smelled like chocolate when they made it to wano.

Sanji still thinks about that one birthday at night and it just eats them up inside. Like why didn't he say anything? He could have made him something different If he didn't like chocolate. why did he eat it it's not like it would have gone to waste with that human vacuum we call a captain on board. Why did he do that? He did that just for me??? why??? it was his day! He shouldn't have been forced to do that!!! . Did I force him??? FUCK! Did he feel pressured to eat it? Am I a bad boyfriend? Am I a terrible person?? Oh my god I'm just like my father!! /You go ok babe?/ Yeah I'm fine just thinking about...........cake/.....................ok... enjoy your cake thoughts

I now desperately need that Red Hair Pirates vs Big Mom thing canon because I swear it'd be the most hilarious thing-- 100% that happened.

And also- Sanji, darling, have you considered your boyfriend ate the cake because he loves you? Sometimes... Sometimes people do things out of love... He's having a whole crisis and Usopp doesn't even know why-

#this is so funny ksjdbwjkefb #fun fact i don't really like chocolate either?#i mean i do like chocolate just not dark chocolate #one piece #red haired shanks #yasopp #big mom #red hair pirates #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso

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yanandreckless · 10 months

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Spicy Alphabet: August Walker

Author's note: I am currently watching (almost) everything Henry Cavill has been in during his career and so since I love doing these alphabets and consider them almost character studies, I'll do these for several of his boys :3 (it'll be a while before I have time for Geralt and Charlie, though) but August ended up being the first :3 Feel free to comment and tell me who you wanna see next! A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) While he will not outright ask for it, August wants validation. Does he want to know he did a good job? Sure, but he would prefer to know he did the best job. And while utilitarian parts of aftercare like cleaning up, changing the sheets, rehydrating, or taking care of marks are things he would do without much fuss or prompting, in an efficient and almost detached way, don’t be fooled by his calculated movements and his stone face. He needs aftercare too. He needs to be acknowledged and appreciated. He wishes he got cuddled, too. He will refuse it all, and very bitterly too, if he perceives it as mocking, so be careful. Basically, stroke his ego without patronizing him. Over time, he will lower his walls a bit.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) While he was wet behind the ears at the Agency, August was self-assured and cocky that he was All That: tall, muscular, and with that handsome face! He soon realized it was actually a drawback for intelligence work. He is so handsome that he is extremely memorable, which is horrible for a spy, obviously. His career path had to change and adjust due to this and he perceives it as something that is holding him back. It also especially fuels his disdain and hatred for IMF and their super masks. He views it as cheating almost. Since he values his own hard work so much, he’s most proud of his muscles, especially his abdomen and thighs. On a partner, while he can’t help but respect strength and power, he’s mostly drawn to fragility. Wrists so thin he can capture them both in one hand, a swing so weak it can’t even turn his head, a stature so small that they simply have to rely on him for protection. Also small tits.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) A disgusting territorial animal, this one. He loves it when he can smear it all over a chest or even a face, and he also loves it when he can cum deep, deep inside, getting off on the fact that he just can do that, especially if he’s the first/only one to do it to the person. It goes both ways, he loves the messy juices of his partner all over him. He’ll happily feed you his cum from his fingers, he’ll happily let you sit on his face and drink all you have, he’ll be happy as a clam if you squirt, and he’ll happily indulge in messy snowballing. He might even tolerate laughter over how messy his mustache looks afterward, or he might spank you for it. Either way, good times will be had.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He really, really, really craves all that validation and praise in an environment where he’s free to bask in it and not defensive over loving it. He wants to be vulnerable but safe. It’s not even related to specific activities when he imagines himself being pampered, it’s mostly just a person of much smaller stature, weaker than him in every way, having as much power over him as he can handle, and then a bit more. Good luck getting him to admit it, though, even if he behaves in ways that make it painfully obvious at times.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Experienced. Knows what he’s doing well enough, but may fall victim to believing he knows better than his partner. Very likely to utter the phrase “trust me, you’re gonna love this” with varying degrees of success. He’s fairly cocky but since he loves doing a great job so much, he’ll pick up on what works and focus on that. If, however, a suggestion of his was met with reluctance only for his partner to actually do love it once they try, it will result in merciless, endless teasing over it for a while.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Any position where he feels like he’s powerfully steamrolling or bulldozing his way through it. Holding his partner in the air (without a wall to help, thank you very much!), bending his partner in half so mating press or full nelson isn’t off the table at all, having a flexible partner he can contort in all sorts of positions for his pleasure, any face down/ass up exaggerated variant of doggy… although he will be surprisingly pliant if his partner really insists on flipping them over and riding him. If they’re good at it, expect a wide-eyed and slightly stunned August.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.) Usually more serious, sometimes bordering on grim/violent. But he can be more lighthearted, especially if there’s an opportunity to tease. This man loves getting on people’s nerves, so if his partner moans “Oh God”, you can expect a “Name’s Walker, by the way.” thrown back. (or whatever name his current mission had him assume, you get the jist)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) The carpet matches the drapes, he’s a dark brunette for real, and he’s not overly meticulously groomed, as can almost be concluded just by seeing that permanent messy stubble next to an obviously longer stache. He trims parts, shaves other parts, and then the shaved parts may grow into annoying stubble before he shaves them again. Get on his case about this, get spanked.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) He conceals his desire for genuine intimacy as kink. He’ll grab the back of his partner’s neck and insist on constant eye contact and hope it just appears dominant and not needy. He’ll kiss a lot, he’ll insist on as many body parts touching as possible, he’ll hold tight and grab, bite and suck and pinch, all in clumsy craving for closeness.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Methodical about it most of the time, he’ll do it to take the edge off when needed and he won’t drag it out. Unless he’s got a specific flame to think about. He’ll delight in planning devious scenarios for them then. But even so, he’s not exactly the most patient so he’ll still not drag it out too too much.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Size and strength difference in his favor for sure. Marks. Being rough. Being absolutely filthy and messy. But also, perhaps surprisingly, feisty partners. He loves being defied and challenged, he loves brats because fucking them dumb feels sweeter. And if he loves something above everything, it’s hearing them apologize and beg when they realize the mess they’d gotten themselves into.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He doesn’t care, it could be anyone’s bed, a bathroom, a hallway, a park, a dressing room, an elevator… As long as it doesn’t endanger a mission, he couldn’t care less.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) While he really loves obedience and being looked at like he hung the moon, he loves it even more if it’s hidden behind feisty brattiness. Challenging his authority gets him going but it makes him rough, so play wisely. He loves proving that he’s needed to someone who tries to tell them they’re independent and capable and strong.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Share. He hates sharing anything with anyone he deems competition, be it credit, work, space, resources, or people. So don’t even joke about it because unlike riling him up in a fun way, this will rile him up genuinely because it hits him right in his biggest insecurity of not being good enough.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He prefers giving, especially right after or right before he receives because he can then prove how scrambled he made the other person. It’s almost like he competes even with his partner from time to time. Means he’s low on praise reserves. Help him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Almost always fast and rough. If you’ve been a good baby, he’ll heed your warnings of something hurting and slow down but if you’ve been riling him up like a fucking brat, he’ll tell you to shut up and take it and he won’t stop even if you cry. He’ll gag or spank/slap you if you keep whining. And if you’ve been especially horribly bad, he’ll try to get you to zone out or even pass out from overstimulation.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Loves them. A lot. He’ll initiate them when they appear the most dangerous, when the mood strikes, or when you guys don’t have time, or when you think he won’t do it this time… the list goes on, but he loves them almost as much as he loves having all night or day to do as he pleases.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) Very game to experiment. He’ll initiate quickies in public places and delight in your terror at being heard or seen, and in your embarrassment if you’d been right. Personally, he’d be down for having an outright audience, he’d love it if everyone was able to see how well he’s scrambling your brain with his cock.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) He prefers going multiple rounds to lasting super long on one round. Again, he’s not the most patient of men but also he does love making a huge mess. Fucking his cum back into you just to add another load is among his favorite things.

T = Toys (do they own toys or use them on a partner or themselves?) He can turn almost anything into bondage equipment on the fly so he doesn’t really own a wide array of, say, ropes or cuffs or chains. Likewise, plenty of things can become impact play toys. He loves being creative. He does have some equipment, among which is a knife he uses only for playtime, and if you’re especially scared of it and adamant about never having anything to do with it, he will still talk about it and tease you with the idea of it and with how much of a scaredycat little baby you are. For more conventional toys, he’d be open to using vibrators on you but he’d always make sure you know nothing can compete with the feeling of him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He’s somewhere in the middle. He’s not patient enough for huge rounds of teasing but he does love to get on your nerves and drive you mad and not even being good and obedient will save you from this if he’s in the mood for it. He’s not the fairest of Doms by any means. The best way to put yourself out of this misery is to cry and beg, but if he sees through you on it not being fully genuine desperation… gods help you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) A growler and grunter. Can be completely silent if he puts his mind to it, but prefers not to be. He loves having his mouth close to his ear so you can hear all his pants and grunts and growls and filthy things spewed through clenched teeth.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He actually loves a bit of teeth during blowjobs. Scrape them along his length, nip him a bit. He’ll delight in the simple thrill of it and he’ll enjoy threatening you into being good. He’s also a disgusting, territorial animal, so he may use this as a segway into some watersports. Or just get into watersports anyway. As long as you don’t safeword and as long as you didn’t explicitly state a hard limit, he doesn’t see the reason to hold back.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) No Henry Cavill character will be small because that’s just the law. Unquestionable. I am not taking questions. Big, thick, cut, veiny. Adores it if his partner can’t close their fingers around him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Very high but in his mind, a lot of the time, it starts as a desire for a lot of bickering, tumbling, butting heads, wrestling… just sexy conflict. And then that riles him up and bets are off from that point.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward) Depends. Is he working? Does he trust you’re harmless? Is he hurt/too exhausted? Did he get all the nervous energy out of his system? Is he… gods forbid… in love with you? So it varies from immediately to never.

#mission impossible #mission impossible fallout #august walker #henry cavill characters #henry cavill fanfic #august walker fanfiction #alphabet #fanfic #august walker smut #august walker x reader

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nova-alien-rants · 5 days

Text

sometimes it can be really fucking scary to achieve the things you've always wanted.

i think i need to put this out there not just for myself, but for anyone else who may be having a hard time coping with change in their lives, even if it's for the greater good.

this past wednesday was genuinely a really hard day for me. like, really really fucking hard. one of my best and oldest friend bailed on me along with her entire family which i considered to be my own, my parents acted disgusting toward my brother and tried pulling the same shit on me, i came back to my dorm after 40 minutes of driving to discover someone came into my room and touched my shit, and then had some stupid freshman act like a brat when i brought it up to the RAs. i haven't felt as low in a LONG time as i did by the end of that day.

but while i was driving back to campus, feeling completely alone and like i had no one to talk to, my grandparents ended up calling just to chat. i was crying so hard that i couldn't stop myself and spilled everything that had happened to me that day, and to my surprise, they were... really nice. they comforted me and even offered for me to move in with them once they get settled in their new house. i told them i felt really worried about how my parents would take the news of me moving, but my grandma said not to worry about that and she'll take care of it. for once i'm actually glad the people in this family are crazy.

all i've ever dreamed about for as long as i can remember is getting away from my parents. no longer living with them, no longer being controlled by them, no longer being physically and mentally broken down by them. my life goal has been to break free from my parents permanently. not a career, not material possessions, none of those things can ever come close to that goal. but now that it's happening, i'm filled with a kind of fear i've never experienced. there's so much uncertainty about literally everything in my life now.

will this thing with my grandparents' house even work out? how will my parents react to it? how am i going to manage to move all my shit into my grandparents' house even if i am able to stay there? what will happen when next semester starts? if i move in with my grandparents, my parents will cut me off financially and i won't have any help paying for my university tuition and/or housing. how will i finish my degree? how will i be able to afford going to graduate school? how will i pay for my medical bills?

i know in time all of these questions will become trivial, and i'll be able to look back eventually and be able to laugh about the fact that i was ever worried. the universe always works in my favor, even if i can't see it at the time. things always seem to have a funny way of working out but it's scary in the moment to not know what's going to happen. i'm a person who desperately craves stability and concrete plans in order to function, so all this uncertainty is... a lot to deal with.

but i think all this is happening so i can shed my old life and start another chapter in which i can finally heal for good and stay that way. even if our old lives suck, we can get used to them anyway and changing them can be absolutely terrifying. i think that's why leaving one's comfort zone can feel so hard. we don't know what to expect, so how are we supposed to protect ourselves in the event that something goes wrong? but i've come to believe that things don't go wrong, they simply don't go the way we expected them to. and that's scary, but it's also okay to sit with that fear. everything happens for a reason.

i'm not one of those people who will say to just "be happy" under circumstances such as these, even when your feelings may seem irrational and/or confusing to you. we're human, we're not fucking robots. we can't go through life stone-faced. change is hard. it's scary. it's overwhelming and full of so many questions no one may ever have the answers for. it's okay to take some time to cry, to scream, to get those feelings out. our brains are trying to keep us safe, and it's our job to let our brains express themselves. not every feeling has to be rationalized. it doesn't all have to make sense. sometimes it's okay to Just Be.

i personally believe that the world would be a much better place if we all took more time for ourselves to really feel our shit, because that's the only way it's going to get processed and let go. if you're someone like me whose BPD makes every feeling seem like a nightmare straight from hell, or whose alexithymia confuses you about what you're even feeling, that's okay too. again, you don't have to have all the answers. let yourself cry. let yourself lie on the floor. let yourself engage in your comfort activities. let yourself rest.

change isn't supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows. it's hard work, but it will all be worth it in the end. after every single one of my darkest times, i found myself shining brighter than i ever did previously. i don't know why we have to go through certain experiences, but it will all make sense one day. every single person on this earth has trauma, even if they may not have been abused or deal with a form of a post traumatic disorder. we're all just oversized children who are scared and need a hand to hold as they navigate life. we're human, and we're allowed to feel. we're going to get through this.

there's a reason why people say bravery is being scared while doing it anyway. change really is fucking scary, regardless of how good it may be for us. i'm going to keep saying it. hold your breath and do the thing anyway. let yourself be scared. feel that fear. make room for it and live with it. your brain loves you and is trying to protect you, even if it seems misguided. it's doing its best to be there for you, so you may as well at least humor it, right? how beautiful is it that your brain loves you enough to constantly try and protect you, regardless of the circumstance? i think it deserves love back. love those parts of you which have always loved you.

you're going to make it. you love you.

#trauma #mental health #healing #healing journey #self improvement #positivity #ptsd #ptsd recovery #borderline personality disorder #bpd #alexithymia #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #neurodiversity #autism #autism positivity #spirituality #spiritual growth #self love

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