#i dont even hate it here but if I lose the freedom to run away whenever i want...i wouldnt be able to take it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cynettic · 3 years

Note

I just read Kitsune reader x yan Scaramouche's fic, may I have gotten hooked on it? and of course, it's just perfect and that's why I'm here to lose a part two with nsfw, thank you in advance and understand if you refuse:3

Link to Part 1

Summary - Taking you captive, Scaramouche continues to see you as a pillar of support. Coming back home to have you there, always. Even if it meant chaining you up.

Pairings - F!Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warnings - Smut, slight noncon ( I tried to make it as consensual as possible but its difficult with yandere themes ), fingering, electricity play

Rating - NSFW

Penpal - Ahhh I'm actually beginning to get attached to this series, might end up writing a couple more posts with different hc and stuff. I hope you liked the post though, have a great day <3

A/N - The literal definition of the ‘stoic cruel boy who’s mean to everyone but you.’ Oh well, Scaramouche is ooc af, but I did change a few things in his backstory so its supposed to make sense for this story ;) Also- since we dont know Scaramouche’s actual name, I have the reader still… yknow, call him Scaramouche. Which is kinda weird cause its his harbinger name but oh well. Also, credit to @cycletr4in for proofreading it ;3

Taglist - @cursedraiden

Stay with Me pt.2

Scaramouche was a gentle captor.

In contrast to piercing eyes and harsh stares when it came to others, he had a soft spot for you. Like the ice that encased him whole melted at your touch, craving for the warmth only you could give him. For your arms around him, to play pretend and imagine he were a child, free, fearless, unbound. A child in your arms, safe and protected.

But you were held hostage, which meant that the chains around your wrists and legs held you down and secured you. Like you were bound to one spot like you’d always been, except this time you didn't have a choice.

You weren't waiting for the Kitsune Saiguu.

Hell, you didn't even have your vision.

This brought on resentment for the dark haired boy. You hated him, you despised him for holding you down under his own judgment. But at the same time, all you saw in him was a child, a little kid who hadn't had the time to grow up. The one who refused to do so because it was his only way to survive in the type of world he lived in. Hide behind that same facade he developed as a kid, snide remarks and unrelenting cruelty.

Just to come back to your arms, sobbing because he was still that child. Sobbing because he was still hurt. Sobbing because you were still his beacon of light, of hope.

He depended on you.

And as much as you built up harsh words to use against him, they dissolved in your mouth when you saw him. His vulnerability that he saved for you and you only. A deep part of you cared for him, a little too much.

Gentle fingers brushed through the locks of Scaramouche’s hair, twirling it around and playing with the strands. It was smooth, a small detail no one would have the chance to notice from the distance he put around himself and others. A quiet hum left his lips as he leaned against your chest, eyes fluttering closed against the soothing feeling of you against him.

The lavish silk sheets were soft against your skin, pillow pushing your form to sit up. Just enough to have Scaramouche in your arms, knees on either side of his body as his head rested under your chin. His chest rose and descended, almost on beat with yours, if not just a tad slower.

You hoped he wouldn't hear the way your heart thrummed against your chest.

Warmth, his body flushed against yours, the luxury of a bed and the small candlelight on your bedside. Different from what you’d grown into just on the side of the trail, sitting for decades. Or with your time with the Kitsune Saiguu, it was never this warm, never this gentle.

But this warmth ended at your beating heart, furiously blazing. Sending an urge of adrenaline through your body, whispering ‘run’ through your veins. A primal urge that would've had your hands around Scaramouche’s neck, till he was wrangling and dead.

Till you could escape.

Hand slowly sliding down his jawline, you let your gentle fingers ghost along the soft skin of his neck. Claws outstretched and ready, sharp and pointed with a deadly intent to kill. You could end him so quickly, overturn his trust and make an escape. You deserved it, you deserved freedom. Not a delusional boy who thought himself protector against someone who’s lived decades more than him.

Jolting at the sensation of a soft grip on your wrist, you watched with idle fascination as he simply cupped your wrist in his hold. Not stopping you, not restraining you, he simply brought your hand to his face. To his lips where he pressed the softest of kisses into your palm. So heartfelt and genuine that all you could do was freeze, not even considering clawing his face.

“I love you.”

You both stayed in that position for a few moments more, silence cradling the tension that slowly dissipated from your body. Forlorn eyes watching as he shift the angle of your wrist to kiss your fingertips. He wasn't waiting for an answer, basking in these soft moments where he could hide in your hold. Like a child, forced to grow up too quickly, yearning back for his foolish naivety, yearning for the childhood he missed.

You were that childhood.

Which is why he clung to you so dearly, showed expressions he didnt know he could make, hold you captive under the impression that it was ‘right.’ What he was doing was okay.

Claws retracted, you pursued your lips, holding back the tears of frustration that burned at your eyes. You hated him, hated him for the chains on your wrists, for the disappearance of your vision that you’d given so much value to. Hated him for the warmth he still made you feel.

You hated him.

You felt like a housewife in some respects. Not with the cleaning and cooking part, and of course no children were part of the equation. But in terms of support, you stayed rooted to that room, loose chains too strong for you to break or tug holding you down. Window was too far, and you were stuck moving around the bed and the desk that sat just a little farther away.

Attempts at having your vision back or more freedom in movement had been discussed with Scaramouche, but as childlike and free as he acted with you, he was not an idiot.

“I don’t plan on underestimating you,” was his answer, head resting on the plush of your chest. “You’re strong, always were. But I have to take extremes to make sure you don’t get hurt, some people out there are stronger than you.”

You wanted to point out that there were a ton of people stronger than him as well, but you kept your mouth shut. “Can I at least see the house? I’ve been cooped up here for so long…”

And he cant say no to such an innocent request as that right?

So he unlocks the chains, the vision at his side reminding you that he was strong. You solely knew that he’d been tough as a kid, and under the intensive training he’d seemed to endure, he was much much stronger. You werent willing to give it a go and lose his trust just yet.

Not like he really trusted you anyways-

At the very least, you’d hoped to get some sort of blueprint of the house, and all you’d received was confusion and your mind making up that the house itself was a maze.

“Didnt we… just pass through here?”

Glancing at the obvious frustration on your face, Scaramouche chuckled, pulling your arm through the hallways you swear you’d seen three times prior. “Nope, most of the hallways look pretty similar. The house wasn't built for dumbasses.”

You flashed him a look and were about to make some snideish rebuttal before you saw the smirk. You knew what he was doing, trying to comfort you with casual arguments you both used to have. Consisting of you telling him to work on his people skills, and him calling you a lazy ass. Of course you missed it, but you also knew you couldn't go back to it.

And then there was the issue when you learned that he was a harbinger.

A scene you didnt want to replay in your head, when a maid burst into your room, Scaramouche acting a tad more intimate. He had an awful tendency to do that, hug your waist and press his face against the crook of your neck. Press gentle kisses down the length of your shoulder that had you shuddering. You weren't used to intimacy, and considering you’d watched him grow up, it was just weird.

Stuttering, the maid had demanded that he was requested by the Tsarista. You’d seen the fear in her eyes when Scaramouche slowly turned to her, seen the unshakable immobility of standing under his gaze.

“Do not enter.” He said, “It’s on the door.”

That was the first time you’d seen Scaramouche kill.

You hoped it’d be the last.

But you’d seen death before, so much death in the time of the Kitsune Saiguu. And for a few seconds, you found yourself fearless as you yanked against the chains, yelling at his figure at the doorway.

“Tsarista?” You snarled, standing just a few feet away from him. His hand on the girls neck, clenching around the pretty skin of hers. Disgusted, the chains that held you back from closing the gap and throwing the girl away from him were impossible to overcome. “Why the hell does she need you?!”

‘Let go,’ you wanted to say. ‘Let her go, she’s going to die.’

It worked, because the ironclad grip was gone, the maid tumbling to the ground lifelessly. You’d been too late, and now her blood was on his hands, your hands. This was your fault and you had half the self control not to thrash against the chains with sharp claws, hands on his neck.

The hard steel gaze vanished in an instant, and like he’d regained his senses, he took a few steps to you. Hands clenching to fists before loosening to fingertips brushing against his palms. Confusion, regret and guilt clouded his features like a child waiting to be reprimanded. You didn't back away, stood firm and fierce when standing and keeping a tough front.

You wanted to cry.

“Its… its a long story.” He finally stated to your question, and when you didnt budge, he took a deep breath. In control again, he closed the distance between the two of you, “I’m sorry.” And that same thrum of electricity jolted through your body, sending you into a spiral of the girls lifeless eyes and Scaramouche’s childlike eyes. Till everything went black.

You woke up with the body gone. Scaramouche was gone as well.

You learned that Scaramouche liked to have things his way. Which meant that he was always in control, always had control of every situation.

Even in those short stretches of vulnerability when he rested in your arms, he still held something over you. And you had to adapt, shift for his wishes, coddle him and stay as his beacon. Because he was stronger, and even if you’d find some way to escape, he would find you.

It was odd, and you slowly let go of the image of him as a child, you knew he was a lot older. He’d probably reached the age your body was stuck in, and with every sweet kiss he pressed to your lips, you knew he saw you as some sort of lover. But as someone who wasn't in control, you simply had to play along, just until you found some way to make your escape.

Without killing him.

_-_-_-_-_

“Strip.”

Laying on one side of the bed, your eyes jolted open at the commanding voice. Slowly, you sat up, eyeing the dim figure at the doorway. Without the help of a candle or the moonlight at the window, you could distinguish Scaramouche at the doorway, taking off the large headpiece as he flung it to the ground.

“Excuse me…?” Your voice was soft, rusty after an evening nap.

“I’ll make you feel good,” was his only answer. Slowly making his way to the bedside till he could properly face you. His eyes were soft, but there was an odd sort of determination that you hadnt seen before. You held back his stare, confusion lacing your features when he suddenly started pulling off loose decorations that hung on his clothes. Just till he unlaced the vest and slid off his shirt. “Don’t worry.” But you didnt know quite what he meant until he leaned further to you, catching you off guard.

So you yelped when his hands suddenly slammed down on your shoulders, shifting you to have access to the buttons of your top layer. He was quick when undoing them, simply swatting away at your hands when you protested and tried to pull him away. Throwing it to the edge of the room when he was done, you could only thrash in horror when he undid your trousers just as quickly, pulling them down before you could grab them back up.

“Scaramouche? Hey-”

And then he threw you down on the bed, exposing you in your undergarments in the cool air of the room. Shivers crept up your spine and bristled across your skin, and before you could curl up to at the very least hide away, you felt a tug at your chains. Fear finally settled in when you saw Scaramouche attach the chain to the bedpost, until your hand was lifted up and he began to do the same to the other.

“Wait wait wait, stop and explain what you’re-”

Only then did he pause from what he was doing, slowly looking down to properly face you. His eyes slid up and down your body, and he took a step towards you. “I’ll make you feel good,” were his only words, and you were forced to take them as all he was planning on giving you. Only when he sat on the bed next to you did you realize what he meant, hand settling on your shoulder, waiting.

“Alright,” you said slowly. Painfully, the words bit your tongue, but you were merciless against someone who had control against the situation. You could say no and you knew Scaramouche would stop, he was gentle to you and you only. And even if he’d been firm just before, you knew that he’d still stop if you asked him to.

A part of you felt thrilled to have that power over him.

Another part of you just wanted to escape.

But you didnt have any hope to do so unless you were willing too give him everything. Because he expected everything and would do anything in his power to obtain it. You’d let him fiddle around with this delusion, thinking that he had control. Until he didnt.

Which is why you didnt flinch when his hand gently slid up your stomach, cold against the warmth you’d had under the blankets. Rubbing gingerly against your skin and drawing smooth shapes over before he slowly slid over your body. His eyes seemed to glint under the darkness of the room, lust filled and wanting.

You didnt shift uncomfortably, you pretended to be that doll he expected you to be.

Just staring up at him as he slowly leaned down to kiss you. His lips felt like snowflakes on a winters day, idly swaying side to side to catch one in your mouth. Jolting like electricity when they melted into your touch, red and swollen when he pulled back. You now vividly felt every touch, as if a current flowed and static jittered in the places he briefly brushed his fingertips.

“You always take such good care of me,” he breathed, lips slowly drifting down your chin. Just past your jawline and right on your neck. The space between your head and shoulder, a soft vulnerable spot that had your lips humming at the affectionate pressure. “Its my turn to take care of you.”

And then his lips were everywhere, collarbone, shoulders, cleavage. Just until his teeth were tugging off your bra, face nuzzled in between both breasts. Both of his hands now resided on your hips, grabbing both thighs to hold them up and against him. You could feel him hard, pressing so close to your heated core.

You managed to keep your reactions in check.

Just until he slowly grinded against you, mouth on your breasts as he again pecked the soft mounds, molding his lips against them as if he could remember the texture, memorize the feel. It was just to that point that mindless sounds slipped past your lips, turning to gasps when his hands on your thighs suddenly buzzed, and static rushed in. Your legs felt weak, entire body thrumming in response to the electricity he sent jolting.

He was using his vision.

The realization was numb against his lips on your breasts, hands slowly stroking the skin of your sides, travelling up. He hovered over you for mere seconds before mashing his lips against you once more, different. He was no longer gentle, and it was with the contact on your tail that you lost all control. When he gently moved it out of the way, backing up.

You were a mess.

Not that you tried to be, you’d been doing your best not to enjoy his touch. But it was hard when your core heated up so fast, mashing both legs together in hopes he wouldn't notice. You knew he would, any action beyond that was just you trying to save your dignity.

He sat there like he was enjoying the sight, the first time you’d seen him actually portray any visual confirmation of satisfaction towards the chains. He’d drink dry any ounce of control you gave him, and it was impossible not to give him it all when you were visionless and vulnerable.

But the dignity you struggled so hard to keep shattered when his hands brushed against your inner thigh.

Fingers slowly made their way to the padded fabric of your undergarments, two digits rubbing the area slowly with expertise. You bit your lip, muffling any groan of anticipation, hiding the way your hips tried to rock back into the gesture. Desperate, oh so desperate. Hiding back the whimpers as he slowly quickened the pace of his fingers against your garments. “Archons Y/n,” he murmured. “I haven't even put anything in and you’re already a squirming mess.”

“Shut u-up,” was all you managed, trying to shift away from the pressure against your clit. But his other hand was on your hip, holding in place. You could only watch and press your thighs tightly together as he slowly slid down your panties, resuming hovering over you. Distracting you with kisses, his fingers gently stroked your core, two fingers slowly sliding into your cunt using your juices.

He was gentle when pumping both fingers in and out, too slow when you thrust your hips to meet his fingers, pleading for him to go faster. But he liked hearing your cries, slowing down when you begged, quickening when you whined and just lay there, taking it.

You shuddered the first time electricity jolted from his digits.

It was when he had three fingers that he sent the static up your body, back arching with such intensity that it even had him chuckling. “Oh? You like it that much?” And then it is like something buzzed against your body, fingers vibrating against your clit as your thighs tightened around his hand. So much that you thought you’d crush it, but it didn't matter, not with the electrifying feeling against your body. It felt so odd, so overwhelmingly good that it had your legs sliding up and down the bedside, toes curling as the static grew and you fell paralyzed to his touch.

It didn't take long with his fingers thrusting in and out of you to cum. Moaning mess when he gave you the time to breathe, teeth biting your bottom lip and then mashing against yours. Your eyes grew fuzzy and most happened in a haze, and all you knew the entire time was that you’d given yourself to him, and that it felt good. You couldn't see the childlike wonder in his eyes anymore, not the need of a beacon or of support. No, the look he shared was feral, the smile tinting his lips almost scary. But it felt too good to care, and you let yourself enjoy his ministrations.

He pulled out and suddenly his own shorts were undone, boxers thrown to the side of the room just like all your other clothing. You didn't see how big he was, just felt his hard shaft against your throbbing cunt, pussy dripping and legs open wide and tired after your first go at it.

You expected him to be gentle like he’d been with his fingers. But he pressed the tip against your core, and in one full motion he was in. Teeth grinding against each other, you held back a scream, shock coursing through your body, overwhelmed with pain and discomfort. It hurt. But it was quickly overshadowed by his movements as he slid in and out of you, slow when pulling his hips back, and rocking himself completely inside you each time. A pattern that let you catch your breath and lose it all the same. Like he was continuously having a go at hitting the deepest parts of you, pulling back before fully thrusting into you and sending waves of pleasure and pain alike.

It was expected, but you couldnt hear yourself.

Not with your mind trapped in a haze of how he felt, body still buzzing after how he’d pulsed his vision through you. And now you were at the mercy of his member, hips swaying along with his, no energy for you to rock with him and try to push him deeper.

Archons, you didn't even think he could go deeper.

But you were proven wrong again and again as he kept the steady pace, hands clawing at your ass and hips. Stabilizing himself and trying to press himself against you, as far as he could go. Slowly, his hands drifted up to your hair, playing with the soft sensation of your furry ears. Pinching and rubbing, fingers coaxing the back of them like a massage. So gentle, but it paled in comparison to the harsh treatment of his dick.

You came first, gripping the chain with your hands in an attempt to stay stable. Walls clenching around him one last time before you got your release, your moans turning into cries when he continued to thrust into you. Your body felt numb, all nerves centred on the way he pounded into you, chasing his own release.

When he did, he pressed his head into your chest, his own breaths heavy with pleasure. Not pulling out, you could only lay there helplessly as his seed filled you, warm in contrast to the electricity he’d shot up your body just earlier. He didnt pull out, and laying in your chest, your heavy breathing didnt stop until he was asleep, collapsing on you and using you as support yet again.

Taking only a minute later to regain control of your senses, you shifted uncontrollably at his member inside of you, sending waves of pleasure every time you moved. Your wrists were restrained and you were stuck in this position till morning.

Achingly, you looked down at the boy, wondering how you would ever manage to escape.

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aka-indulgence · 3 years

Note

How does robo-skider sans deal with 'problems'? Like with humans he doesn't like with his dear 55?

(Warning: HORROR, like, the genre, not.. ht sans.. dsjkhd, but anyway there IS murder (no gore, but still), so if you dont want that, don’t read!)

Blue eyes gaze through the windows, the home star glimmering in the distance through the blackness of space. A human was walking on the outside of the ship, a sort of advanced "tool-belt" around their middle.

Though they were wearing a suit, Sans knew this wasn't his human. He would've gone with you if he knew you were going out, and he'd know it was you in the suit from having following you around so much.

Though this time, he'd make sure you weren't around. He was sure you were at the living quarters, or maybe at the cafeteria getting breakfast. The rest of the crew should be occupied by now, having experiments to run and other various work. The man walking above is one of them, Sans isn't sure for what he was space-walking at this time, but he doesn't really care.

Crew-Member 4.

Far from the only human he despises, but definitely one that has been getting Sans' attention lately.

"It's not like you actually got fucking hurt, did you? It wasn't even that big." He spat.

Your face was red, and Sans saw your eyes water. "What the hell?! I thought everyone here knows the danger of space debris. Do you remember what happened to Sans?"

"Stop saying that, why did you even give it a name? You treating it like a pet or something?"

"You're not listening to me! Sans lost his leg-"

"You have a suit."

"Sans is made of metal! If it can tear through metal-"

"Ugh, you're so..." No. 4 trailed off, openly expressing his irritation with you. "Your job's simple. All you had to do was fix the exposed panel. Now it's still exposed. Everyone here has something important to do and no one's complaining."

"But-"

"Fine, why don't I do it? Since you're too 'in shock' to do it. I think I need to measure the radiation-disparity soon anyway..."

Sans had stepped in when you tried to argue back and No. 4 looked like he was going to yell. 'Stress-levels', he'd say. No. 4 left the room and Sans got to be alone with you, to comfort you in any way his programming limitations let him.

He’d been watching No. 4 intently since then, though not as obvious as he’d been when he was watching you. He’s aware of the man’s judgement, and Sans was clever enough not to make him think that Sans was following him. Sans was just... observing. His behavioral patterns. Nothing suspicious.

Today, Sans suspects he’s outside to try to “prove” that he can easily do your job while doing his own tasks. The arrogance he reeked... even Sans could smell it.

Sans keeps watching those legs bounding on the outside of the ship until he got to where that unfinished repair was located, and Sans skitters to the airlock.

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout.

The doors close behind him, and Sans can no longer hear anything- not just the fact that the air has been sucked out and he’s in a vacuum now, but his system turns off his “ears” automatically when he went out the ship. The only communication done outside is through radio. The door to space opens silently, and to a human exiting for the first time it would’ve been eerie.

But Sans isn’t a human, nor is this his first time.

No one could hear the clink of his legs over the ship’s exterior. No one was around to hear it anyway, even if they were right under these panels, all of them were on the other side of the ship.

Right now it’s just him and No. 4.

He was crouched down over the panel you had been fixing about... 7 day cycles ago. The one Sans had so stupidly looked away at that moment, having to fix something else, when he heard you screaming...

... no. 4 doesn’t know how terrifying it must be to lose your tether with no means of reconnecting.

If Sans could scowl, he would now.

Sans stalks closer, rage bubbling underneath his metal outer layer. He knows what he wants to do, what he wants to happen to No. 4, he just... doesn’t know how he’ll do it.

The idiot doesn’t even turn to look at him, Sans feels very lucky in that moment that sound doesn’t travel in space. Sans isn’t too far now, probably on the edge what would be the “circle” his safety protocols would allow him near a human.

... Of course this wasn’t a problem to him anymore, the last time you shut it off to fix him he had “neglected” to remind you to turn it back on.

No, he’s not stopping because of his programming. He stands there, only a bit away from No. 4. Like a predator waiting in ambush, except Sans wasn’t even hiding- there was nowhere to hide. The only reason his prey- No. 4 didn’t notice was his rapt attention on the broken panel in front of him. Broken into pieces that Sans couldn’t pick and clear properly with his size and tools that weren’t made to handle things delicately. It seemed that No, 4 wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He was just staring at it. He didn’t have a replacement. He didn’t even use your E-pad to at least get some sense into what he’s supposed to do.

Sans is partly glad he isn’t using it. The E-pad was yours, and you were somewhat fond of it, it seemed. He wouldn’t want you to lose something you liked.

As Sans stands there, processing a mile a minute on how he should go about this, he suddenly remembers to look up, turning his skull around to inspect the dark ‘sky’.

An alert system in him for when he was outside- compelling him to check for space debris at regular intervals.

And for once, Sans is actually glad to see a couple coming towards the ship where he’s standing. Perhaps from the same cluster that made you lose your footing on the ship.

Sans purposefully took his eyes off of No. 4, off his radar, then swiftly moved outside the range he predicted the space debris would hit. He watched as what seemed to be small chunks of meteorite ‘fall’ towards the ship, feeling them clunk over the metallic plating.

He connects to No. 4′s radio.

“Shit!”

Down came the rain

Sans looks up and sees that No. 4 has lost his footing and is slowly spinning vertically, flailing his arms and legs helplessly as he tries to gain some kind of support, and getting nothing.

Sans would love to spend a little more time watching him panic, but he had to do this quick.

And washed the spider out.

He shot forward, close to the tether, watching the swaying rope with intense eyelights. One hand closes around the rope to stabilize it in front of him, the other one, ready to extend his ‘cutting-claw’ to-

ACTION DENIED!

Object: Tether Rope.

TETHER ROPE IS CURRENTLY IN USE BY CREW-MEMBER 4 OUTSIDE THE SHIP. IF ACTION CONTINUES, CREW-MEMBER 4 WILL BE DISCONNECTED!

His hand stops mid-space, his programming straining against him to keep his hand from touching the rope. He tries to change tactics, extending the cutting claw on his other hand, but his other safety protocols had been activated. He was frozen.

‘Must not harm humans.’

‘Must prioritize human well-being.’

His fingers were trembling as he pushed.

only one human matters.

he is not that human.

he isn’t needed.

dispose him.

He feels as if molten metal had been casted into his joints as he tries to push his hand closer to the tether, with the ‘claw’ extended.

DENIED!

Above him, still connected to the radio, he can hear No. 4 breathing in panic, muttering curses under his breath- before Sans hears a gasp, and he looks up.

No. 4 is looking at him now, Sans can see through the visor, his eyes staring at Sans.

“What the fuck- why’d it have to be him that came for me,” he sounds disdained, filled with disgust.

the feeling’s mutual.

Sans strains harder, his legs locking up as he tries to push his claw closer to the rope- No. 4 obviously not noticing if he thinks Sans is here to help him.

His hand budges closer, then tugged further.

“The hell... are you having a fucking crash or something? Just pull the rope! You have one hand on it!”

Sans knew he should be thankful of his expressionless face, but right now he wishes No. 4 could see that he was seething with anger and hate.

he’s never liked me. nor i, him.

he was always the most vocal in hating me.

he treats me like a scrap of metal.

he probably wants to dismantle me.

No. 4 was still yelling at him, but Sans wasn’t listening. The indignation at the way he’d treated Sans over the course of his time on the ship helped budge his hand a little, but then Sans thought of something else...

Someone else No. 4 had never cared too much for.

he always tried to pressure you into doing something.

he thought you were lower than him.

he thought you weren’t important.

he was dismissive of you.

he liked to mock you.

he yelled at you.

The rage was fueling him in the battle against his programming, trying to override the wall blocking his way to freedom.

No. 4 was yelling at him.

Sans felt like poison was building inside him, from how much he wanted this man dead. But then his thoughts kept drifting away from the instances No. 4 had been rude or insulting to him.

Instead, his ‘memories’ drifted back to when he was in the room when it was only you and No. 4. How hurt and angry you looked, how you just wanted him to understand, and No. 4 had talked over you. Thought your troubles were trivial, that everyone else had ‘more important things to deal with’ and you had ‘an easy job’. When he left Sans saw you cry behind your hands, before quickly rubbing them away and you tried to put a smile on your face when you saw Sans.

No. 4 was yelling at him like he yelled at you.

“Hey you stupid robot!?” No. 4′s loud voice came back to his attention, sounding rather irritated and out of breath from how much he spent shouting. He hadn’t moved from his position on the tether, apparently too lazy to pull himself in and is just waiting for Sans to do what he’s supposed to do.

“Hello, can you hear me?” He asks in the most condescending tone. “I know you can, I’m pressing the radio button. Cut this shit out and pull me back already!”

Sans turned his skull up, away from the tether and right into his eyes.

Ṛ̶̊̐ȯ̵̟b̶̜͒͜ȩ̶̌ȓ̶͇̭t̶̩̉ visibly pales at the glare he sends him.

“... no.”

His claw cuts through the tether, with a little twang up the rope when he forces through the stubborn end.

“Wh... what?” Robert’s horrified, quiet voice was so deeply satisfying to Sans’ non-existent ears.

He feels something bubbling up inside him as he watches Robert frantically try to pull on the rope in vain, though this time the emotion inside him wasn’t anger.

“No... no no no NO!”

It was glee.

“heh.... heheheheh... heheheheheheh!”

Robert was whimpering now, breathing frantically as he drifted further, away from the ship, looking at Sans with horrified eyes.

There were no chains on him anymore. He broke his most sacred rule, and in turn broke the rest of his digital bindings.

The warnings were silent, absent. There was nothing holding him back.

Robert was still, staring at Sans. “No... no this isn’t... this isn’t real, you’re... you’re just an machine, you can’t...”

“oh...” Sans purred, delighting in the fact that he actually purred his words, “but i can.”

The ship was slowly spinning. The nearest star had “risen” and cast a bright light over him and Robert, sharp shadows falling away, forming Sans’ into a horrible stretched version of his body; legs thin and sharp.

Sans tilted his head at the floating figure in the distance, his eyes crinkling in a way he wasn’t able to do in the past. It feels so liberating to be able to show emotion, even just a little bit of expression on his face. It especially felt good when he could see that Robert was shaking in his suit. He knew- Sans was really smiling at him.

“farewell, robert.”

Out came the sun

Robert was screaming now, listening to Sans’ manic laughing through the radio. Music.

And dried up all the rain.

Sans relished in the sounds of him shouting until his words turned into non-sense, which then turned into loud, wracking sobs as he mourned his own death. The oxygen of the suit could last for a few hours- the last few hours he’ll spend drifting further and further from safety.

Oh how he longed to finally see him suffer.

Though his smile was unmoving, it felt more like a smirk as Sans returned to the airlock, letting his radio shift to static for Robert. His last interaction with something ‘living’ being his murderer.

The doors parted, and Sans walks in, back to the ship, as if he was back from usual business.

And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

#robo skider sans #ask #sinister thoughts #im sorry guys #djhks #i know some of you guys love him #bc hes soft and sweet and cute #hes still all that i assure you #just #with you #this was a long time coming

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ji-yaaan · 4 years

Text

Anonymous asked:

Hello! I like your blog and the little comments here and there makes me laugh at times hehe ^^ May I request headcanons for Vil, Leona, Mal, and Floyd reactions and what they'll do to reconcile w/ the reader after a very hearted argument to which Reader may have said "I hate you" before storming out. Would they wait for a bit? A few days or hours? Or would they be upfront with their apology immediately? Reader also apologizes at the end, crying slightly if that's okay. If you notice me, thanks!

°•°•𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞?•°•°•

HC's with: Leona, Vil, Floyd, and Malleus.

Note: Ofc, I was late yet again. Pls forgive me dear sir... And ofc tumblr hates me so it won't cooperate! Drafts got deleted 3 times.... so if it somehow becomes inconsistent... I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE! STONE ME GENTLY! anyways, i hope you enjoy this, actually no, I beg that you enjoy this?! Idk lololololololololol.

[𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚍? 𝙸𝚍𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚕]

°•°•°•𝙇𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙖 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙧 •°•°•°

“I HATE YOU!” with bits of tears in your eyes, you slammed the door shut behind you leaving Leona dumbfounded all by himself.

You hate him?You hate him!?!? Is that like for real??? He’ll scratch the back of his head in shame of pushing things too far to the point you were in tears.

But what can he do? His pride caught the best of him and he acted rash in the heat of the moment. This prideful lion just doesn’t know when to shut up smh.ಥ‿ಥ

He’ll try to remember when did everything started to go wrong, but he'll just get more and more guilty the more he thinks about it.

“Tchhhh... I messed up big time...”

It's not his style to give up easily, but his mind was set in a frenzy the moment he thinks about you leaving him.

A day without you started to become dull and boring the moment he grew fond of you. So it somehow became a habit of his to constantly seek you unconsciously. Whether it's a whiff of your scent, your voice ringing in the hallways, even the sound of your footsteps is something he could easily recognize.

But now that the two of you fought, this lion will find any way possible to avoid you seeing him.

Yeah... it will probably take a while for him to apologize...(꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

But when the time does come, expect Leona to prepare a simple yet sincere apology.

“Oi herbivore... Sorry about the other day ok? I missed my pillow for a while now...I lose...”

Simple yet sincere :') The prideful arrogant lion somehow learned to apologize despite his ego way ahead of him. He can't stand the thought of loosing you ok? (｡•́︿•̀｡)

°•°•°•°•𝙑𝙞𝙡 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙣𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙩•°•°•°•°•

“VIL STOP IT! I hate this! I hate everything! I hate you!” you quickly ran away to the door as vil stood in his spot stupefied.

You hate him? You hate the Vil Schoenheit himself?Then so be it...

Vil is basically pissed and angry™. Moreover, you had the guts and audacity to tell him you hate him. His pride was shattered in front of him. And he's not happy about that (꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

Nope. Nah. Never. He's not apologizing anytime sooner now. He'll be waiting for that spicy well deserved apology you have for him...

He'll try his best to avoid you and give you the sassy cold shoulder treatment™. It will probably last for a few days or maybe a week. He has his pride y’know?

Not until he hears a muffled sob in the hallways and realized it was your voice. You looked visibly upset and sad as you cried your heart out, all alone in the empty hallways.

Oh no... What did he do? Was his nagging that bad? Did he take it too far with the makeovers? Guilt ate his soul away as he tried to sort out his thoughts with the clear image of your crying face embedded in his mind.

“Okay... Maybe I did take it a little too far...”

Making up his mind, Vil will try to make everything set for tomorrow and apologize to you to fix this feud you both have. ( ╹▽╹ )

When classes are over and the two of you finally get to be alone, Vil will try to straighten this misunderstanding now! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

“Hey Y/n I just want to tell you... I'm sorry.” “Vil I'm so sorry for the other day!-”

The both of you stared at each other with shock... Did the both of you just say sorry at the same time?

“Pfffttttt-” The both of you laugh from how hilarious this moment was. It felt as if the fight you had didn't happened at all. (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

“Y/n I'm sorry... I took it too far with what I do without asking your opinion first...”

“Yeah... I'm sorry I lashed out at you too... That was petty...”

Vil will definitely make a million dollar once in a lifetime seen smile, so you better treasure this rare sight!!!(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

“No more fighting, okay? ”

•°•°•°•°•𝙁𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙙 𝙇𝙚𝙚𝙘𝙝•°•°•°•°•°

“Floyd I hate you!” you slammed your way out of the table, running away from Floyd.

Angering Floyd was not the brightest Idea in the book. His infamous “bad moods” was not something anyone would like to experience. But somehow, he was really pushy and annoying today and you were fed up with it.

“Ahhhh~ Koebi-chan hates me now? what do I do?”

Thankfully, Floyd wasn’t really angry, though he was sad and heart broken that his favorite person said they hated him.(╥╭╮╥)

Floyd is an impulsive boi, so he might secretly follow you to see your face or something lol.

Ofc, Knowing Floyd, he’d definitely skip classes and skip his job at the Mostro Lounge due to his mood swings. Ofc, a certain octoboi wasn’t really happy with this.

Azul will probs tell Jade to help out his brother or something, lol Azul be secretly worrying for the two of you loooool.

However, with the help of Jade, the mushroom eel himself, he can guide his brother to make up with you!!!

Thank god mushroom eel is here to save the day! ( ´◡‿ゝ◡`)

A fight with Floyd won’t really last long. Because Floyd being Floyd, he’ll naturally come to you like nothing ever happened! That’s why you have to be patient and understanding when it comes to Floyd ok?

With the biggest hug from behind you. There was a cute eel boi that has come to ambush you with love!

“Shrimppy! Don’t avoid meeee! I miss you so much so hang out with me at the Mostro Lounge againnn!”

Floyd is not really good with his words nor his apologies. Though, his blunt and honest demeanor is definitely one of his charming points!!!! (☆▽☆)

“Shrimpy! I have some takoyaki with me! let’s share them together ok?!”

Ugh, Floyd is too cute... It would be a capital sin to not forgive him and decline his offer! Tsk I’m watching you, you better accept that apology!

•°•°•°•𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙖•°•°•°

“MALLEUS I HATE YOU!”

Shock. Pure shock. You hate him? The last thing Malleus wants is to hurt your feelings. In his eyes, humans are delicate and vulnerable beings, so he tries his best to protect you and treat you with utter delicacy. Yet it seems as if he failed to do that...

Just before you slam the door behind you and escape this fight, a hand grabs your wrist in attempts to stop you. Nonetheless you still make your way out, leaving Malleus standing there alone.

Malleus was deeply hurt and sorry for making you sad and angry. His heart was shattered with the thought of you leaving him, someone who made their way this close to his heart, someone he cherishes deeply.

But this fight wont really last long because Malmal would definitely try and apologize as quickly as possible!(ᓀ˵▾˵ᓂ)

Malleus is the soft type of person and I feel like he’d give up easily if it was you lol.(｡•́︿•̀｡)

Even if his apology was heard but not accepted, he’d gladly say his sorry no matter how much time and patience it will take, just for you to forgive him.༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

He’ll try to give you and Hour or two to clear your mind, then he’ll apologize!

Standing in front of your room, he’ll knock lightly at the door in front of him... No answer... So you’re still mad huh?

Leaning his forehead at the door, He’ll try to talk to you in hope for you to come out of your room. But nahhh, no signs of you leaving your room soo (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

He’ll mutter apologies after another just in case you hear them :’D

“Y/n I’m sorry for hurting your feelings earlier... that was rash of me to say, so I truly apologize... I hope my feelings reach you.”

Hearing his voice, it would prolly sound as if he’s ready to cry any moment by now. You’d be a monster if you don’t forgive this fae cutie!!!(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

When you finally come out of the door to see him. I bet you he’s moment away from his tear dripping down. Ó╭╮Ò

“You’re not mad now right? Then is it fine to ask if we eat some ice cream later?”

You bet that Malleus would give you the biggest cheeriest grin in the entire world! oh the things you keep doing to him never surprises him. Pls dont leave this cinnamon roll or else-

That's it cuties! I need to sleep now- my classes are thriving, but I'm not!!!

God, school stuff are taking away my precious freedom and time for writing smh.

Oh god, I'm ranting again... What's new? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Anyways, I need to woosh now and I hope you enjoyed this one!!!

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strawberry1212 · 3 years

Text

“IU - Celebrity” Analysis

THE QUEEN HAS RETURNED!!!

I know it’s unhealthy to simp for celebrities...but IU is an exception. I have been rewatching her new comeback an unhealthy amount of times so I thought I’d share some things/details/background info :))

1) Background

So IU wrote about the lyric writing process this time and OMG I have to copy and paste her whole statement bc it’s so beautiful:

"I have a friend who has often been treated as an eccentric person due to her eye-catching outfit, her unique taste, dynamic talents, defensive mechanisms stemming from shyness, and a personality that clearly knows her preferences. I loved her even more because of these unique characteristics of hers, but for the same reasons, she has been living under more scrutiny and hateful eyes. These are the words I wanted to tell my 'unusual friend' that turned into the lyrics to this song but as I worked on the song, I realized that this is also my story as well. After completing the song, I thought that anyone can be the main character to this song. I'm sure everyone has felt left out at least once in their lives because they dont' meet the standards others have made. I want to tell everyone, including my friend, who were born rough around the edges but special. You are not a person from the star (common saying in Korea to mean someone weird/different) but are like a star."

OK THIS IS SO CUTE!! Because like first of all it’s so poetic...the play on words with you are not from the star, but a star yourself. And the fact that we are getting yet another song from IU that is not another romantic song. One of my long standing frustrations with the music industry (American, Korean, and Japanese), is songs tend to always center around romance, and IU tends to break those stereotypes (Bbibbi, Palette, 23, I-Land, 8, just to name her title tracks), and not only that but the fact that this is about her friend is just so beautiful T_T. Also did anyone else think of Sulli when they read this? Sulli was known for her eccentricity, different style, and being misunderstood, but the translation writes “I have a friend” in the present tense...so idk.

And just her wanting her fans/listeners to feel like the main character (ಥ﹏ಥ) (I’m not crying you are). This is especially such an important message for Korean and Asian fans in general. I only have my experience in Japan to speak to, but Asian collectivist cultures really punish those who stray from the norm, which not only ends up discouraging those from being unique and themselves, but also impedes social progress (feminism, environmentalism, social justice, animal rights, etc.).

And I also think it’s key where she wrote “as I worked on the song, I realized that this is also my story as well,”--more on that theme later when I break down the music video.

2) Music Video Analysis

The star motif

So she sort of does a play on words by putting a lot of star stuff in, star being another word for celebrity. And as the lyrics “You're a star painted with a left hand,” she’s talking about how this person isn’t the perfect/usual star, but perhaps a crooked/left-handed one...like the one shown to dot the “i” in the first image of the music video:

The star motif also features later around 1:09 in her dance, she draws a star with her finger.

The music video story

So basically it seems IU is playing two people--one is herself, a celebrity type figure dressed in glam clothes, and the other is the unique, “star” character (a stand in for her friend that she wrote the lyrics about). IU sings about the “star,” “A troubled outsider The walk, the style Through the earphones The music is all minor You have no idea Above your lowered head What the bright lights are Shining towards.”

The music video shows IU in glamorous clothes:

While this “star” character is in her unique/non-glam clothing, walking through the crowd.

We can also sense IU’s isolation, she’s dressed like a princess in this glamorous pastel pink room, but she is alone, and the lights flash almost ominously outside, like the constant threat of paparazzi/people always surrounding her wanting to look in on her life:

Or how the clothing racks gradually disappear, revealing her standing alone worriedly:

The next we see IU standing off to to the side (I believe it’s IU bc she’s in an undercover outfit, but it’s clearly very glamorous), as she hides from fans chasing her:

When the crowd passes, she looks around and catches sight of “star” IU, and is seemingly very taken by her unique beauty:

IU chases the “star,” but loses sight of her, and is once again alone:

The irony here is that a) despite being adored and chased by many, the celebrity IU feels alone, and that b) despite being this glamorous celebrity, celebrity IU adores this unique “star,” that is just living her life, and not universally adored like celebrity IU. Celebrity IU almost seems envious of her freedom and unique style. But as the lyrics say, she also is upset at the way society treats the unique “star:”

“Your weary face looks like/ Someone powered you off/ The heartbeat went too quiet/ The glow you have/ The imagination, identity/ Are on a diet” “

These lyrics I had the most trouble with...I think it means the “star”’s imagination and unique identity are being starved/mistreated by society, like they are being forced to put on a diet.

Next we have:

“You have no idea/ Still not fully bloomed/ Written for you/ A bygone love poem” as celebrity IU works, it seems, on a love poem for the “star.”

Here the star motif features pretty literally, as she is surrounded by her poem writing as the stars fall across the sky. The “written for you, a bygone love poem” could also be a reference to IU’s other song, Love Poem? Also going back to how this could reference Sulli, I could help but be reminded of how IU wrote the song “Peach” about Sulli’s beauty and how much she adored her friend.

Next we see IU in front of this huge tapestry of celebrity IU, but this time she is wearing a dress studded with stars, and looking further up. She passes through the tapestry, and this could be like a sign of her growth? Like moving past her huge blown up celebrity image of herself to find her true self in a star studded dress?

She then enters into a dark vacuum where she is surrounded by people dancing with lights (another continuation of the star motif):

I think this is the turning point to the music video. Because now it is celebrity IU surrounded by stars. The next scene shows the people (all the people that once chased her) simply walking past her on the steps, perhaps alluding to how fame is ephemeral. She looks unsure and insecure here.

The next scene is most steeped in symbolism; she is in the same room that she was in alone before looking out at the city, but now the curtains are drawn (symbolizing privacy?) and IU reaches out towards an identical version of herself. Now the line between celebrity IU and “star” IU becomes blurred:

It seems that the left is “star” IU, and the right is celebrity IU, who continues to pine and look up to an almost indifferent “star” IU. “Star” IU gets up to leave, and morphs back into her “star” outfit from the beginning of the video, re-affirming that this is in fact “star” IU.

When celebrity IU notices she’s gone, she rushes up to find her (again paralleling her chase at the beginning of the music video), but when she goes to where “star” IU disappears, she is simply confronted with a mirror: she was the unique star all along!

In a sense, the message here could be that our own unique beauty may seem obvious to everyone else (the viewer knew that “star” IU was the same person (IU) as celebrity IU all along, but it took celebrity IU the whole music video to figure it out.

Almost as if this whole sequence has been inside celebrity IU’s head, she seems to come to this realization on a red carpet surrounded by flashing cameras:

Here she breaks the fourth wall, looking directly at the camera, as if to now realize: “I have been my own unique “star” all along.” She looks at the camera as the music sings, “you are my celebrity,” perhaps to mean that the viewer is her celebrity, or that she herself is her own celebrity, and runs off, away from the cameras (as if running away from her fame for a moment), in her beautiful red dress, free and confident at last. In the past she has always been running to chase “star” IU, but now she seems to be running simply for herself:

Messages/themes:

I think there are a couple of final messages here, and it is truly to IU’s credit that she was able to pack so many themes/messages into one music video. I think the dynamic I’m most interested in is how it runs the age old theme of the harms of celebrity fame, but it puts a very unique twist on it. While it shows the isolating aspects of fame, it also has a positive spin, that the love and affection bestowed upon celebrities isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but rather that we should redistribute that love and affection towards those closest to us, and see each other the way IU saw her friend. It also shows that fame and adoration don’t matter when you are insecure in yourself, given the irony of celebrity IU chasing after “star” IU.

This message that what matters most is cherishing and being cherished by those closest to you is interesting, because it can apply to both celebrities and non-celebrities. Celebrities may be adored, but it can be superficial, so they need the genuine love of close friends. Conversely, non-celebrities may feel super connected to their celebrities, but ultimately they need real life close friends. I think the message serves to both humanize celebrities in this way, while also saying that non-celebrities, and even weird/eccentric people, are deserving of the love and adoration we usually only reserve for picture-perfect celebrities.

I think perhaps the most poignant part, is the message of self-love: how at the end she realized that perhaps despite being pigeon-holed in certain ways as a public figure, she can reclaim her unique, beautiful parts. How we can be envious of others who seem set on their unique path and unafraid, but that we are unique and different too.

Also can we talk about how she served LOOKS!!! All of those outfits were GOLD. Anyways, I hope her music and its message reverberate with people who feel undeserving as “outsiders” and being eccentric. Being different is amazing. And as IU suggests, even though we may not be pop stars, we are all “celebrities” to someone. As the saying goes, “to the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

#iu #iu kpop #kpop iu #iu celebrity #kpop theories #iu celebrity music video #iu celebrity theories #iu celebrity analysis #iu comeback

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heyitsjay03 · 3 years

Text

Fighting For Tomorrow: Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Still haven’t bought AOT but I’m working on it!

AN: this. is a doozy of a chapter- i know. lots. and lots. and lots of words. but DAMN if i didnt love every part of it. however! if you guys prefer smaller chapters please please please dont hesitate to say something. seriously. id love to write you guys more frequent, smaller chapters but if you guys like the longass, slightly infrequent chapters then they shall continue. just say the word bby. also i felt kinda poetic in some of these sections so if you see reader gettin fancy with her verbage, don’t trip. that was my bad.

Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Fem!Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 10k (i finished this at 2 am today before class and nearly passed out at the sight ‘10,008 words’ when i pulled up my word counter. CH-YOW this a big boy)

TW: gore/blood/violence/death, adult language/swearing, slight PTSD, mental anguish, self-harm, grief, nightmares, insomnia, hysterics, horse accident

You can read parts one, two, three, four, and five just by tapping the lovely numbers!

The flames crackle and rage before us, engulfing our comrades’ bodies in scarlet and gold waves.

Engulfing Marco’s body.

Jean had found him. Just… laying there. Up against a building. No one had seen him die, no one knew how he died, just that he did. Marco- our comrade, our friend... my friend- just gone. Taken from us. There was no valiant deed. There was no heroism. There was no triumphant story. Nothing. He just… died.

And that’s the worst part.

He was taken from us and no one knows how. No one knows why.

Marco was one of the first comrades I got close to. We were competitive- always fighting to outdo each other. I’d train two hours, he’d train three. He’d pass the ODM test after four tries, I’d pass it in three. Back and forth, back and forth.

But if we faced something bigger than us- if there was an exercise we couldn’t quite pin down, if there was another Cadet giving us problems, if one of our squad members were injured- we’d always come together to beat it. It was always like that.

He was like my little brother.

I scoff at myself. They all are like my younger siblings. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, even Annie and Bertholdt. They’re all family and losing Marco… it was like losing a brother.

I did lose a brother.

My brother is among the flames- being turned to ash before my eyes. Marco is gone. Taken from me. Robbed from me. From everyone. His intellect, his kindness, his leadership. All of it gone. Taken from humanity.

We’re just kids.

Marco was just a kid.

All of us- bright-eyed kids wanting to do our best for humanity. To take back what was stolen from us. To serve humanity. We didn’t know how much hate, how much horror was waiting for us. To watch our comrades- our family and friends- be torn apart in front of us. To lose the ones closest to us in unspeakable carnage.

All we wanted was to do something for humanity.

All Marco wanted was to do something for humanity.

He was just a kid.

Tears are streaming down my face as we all watch the flames consume the bodies of fallen soldiers. I can hear the crackling of wood, feel the heat on my skin. But the crackling is distant and the heat is faint. My chest feels empty and cold.

I lost Marco. I lost Hannah. I lost Franz.

And I’ll never get them back.

But I’ll be damned if I allow anyone else to be taken from me.

The Commander roars and rages before us, engulfing us in his words. They burn and singe like fire as they cross the Cadets’ ears. I can hear them whispering among themselves- asking if he’s serious or if he’s crazy or already resigning themselves to the Garrison.

It doesn’t matter what they say.

I’m joining the Scouts. Commander Erwin’s words are a comfort, a pleasant yet caveat warmth. Like a candle sitting beside a curtain. I know what I’m signing up for. I’ve always known. But it doesn’t mean I’ll be giving it all up now.

“I’ve made my decision.”

My eyes turn away from the Commander, landing on Reiner’s form beside me. His gaze is still stuck on the Commander, back straight and shoulders squared. I turn my gaze back to the Commander- not wanting to be chewed out by a commanding officer for not paying attention. “...really?” I ask quietly, “Where are you-?”

“The Scouts.”

My eyes are back on him. “What?” I hiss, “Reiner, you can’t... throw away your shot at the Military Police- you worked so hard, why would you-?”

“Eren was right,” he says quietly. I can feel his chest fill with breath before he chuckles. “They don’t need our skills so far away from the walls. They need us where we’re at use- where the people are.”

“Rei, please, please,” I whisper, “Please don’t do this.”

“Why not?” Reiner chuckles again, “You want me gone?”

“It’s not like that,” I shoot back, “I just…”

“You just what?”

“...I don’t wanna lose anyone else.”

“...you won’t.”

“You can’t know that… I’m already worried about Eren and Armin and Mikasa- if I have to worry about anyone else-”

“You don’t need to worry about me, darling… Because we’re going to get through this,” I can feel his finger graze the side of my hand before his hand takes mine. “Together.”

A shaky exhale leaves my mouth as I close my eyes. “...together,” I whisper as shivers run down my spine.

“That’s right, darling.”

“...those who wish to join other divisions are dismissed.”

Shuffles of feet scurry past me as I remain. I can feel their gazes, their judging glares and confused looks. They mumble to themselves. ‘Insane’, ‘crackpots’, ‘suicidal’, ‘deathwish’. Nervously, I swallow and grip Reiner’s hand tighter.

I can feel his smile. Proud and bright like the sun. Warming like the sun. Relaxation smoothes out over my skin as I soak it in.

I’ve done it. Finally. After years of fighting and hoping and wishing and dreaming about this very moment, I’m here.

The crowd clears out and a scattering of us remains. My eyes dart to each of the figures in the hopes of identifying my fellow crackpots.

Reiner. Armin. Mikasa. Bertholdt. Ymir. Christa. Sas-

My heart stops.

Sasha. Connie. Jean.

What the Hell are they doing here?! They were supposed to join the Military Police. They were going to, weren’t they?! Why are they still here?! Why aren’t they walking away?

At the very base of my stomach, something churns. Quickly and violently.

I think I’m gonna be sick.

I’m already going to be looking out for Armin, Eren, and Mikasa- I came to accept that long ago- but now Sasha? And Reiner? Connie and Jean, too?

Most of everyone I’ve ever loved has just signed their hearts and bodies away to the Scouts- to nearly certain death.

There has to be a way to change their minds, right? There has to be.

...but there isn’t, is there?

They heard the statistics. They know how many have died in the Scouts. They know all the facts, all the dirtiest of details.

And they stayed.

Gods, why did they stay?

I’ll drag each of them out of here by their ears, kicking and screaming, if I have to. I already lost Marco and Hanna and Franz. I don’t think I could take losing them, too.

But if they truly want to- if they know the risk and want to dedicate their hearts just like I am… why would I stop them?

I should be proud.

They’re- we all are- dedicating ourselves to the better future humanity deserves. To the eradication of Titans. To the freedom we all hunger for.

“Very well!” Commander Erwin’s voice booms out over us. “I welcome you- the newest recruits of the Scout Regiment!” His fist slams against his chest in a tight salute, “This is my real salute! Dedicate your hearts to the cause!”

The group moves as one as we all strike our fists to our chests.

My eyes glide from the Commander to Sasha once more.

She’s shaking. I can hear her stifled sobs from here.

But she remains firm in her spot.

She’s made her decision.

And I can accept that.

I lay awake. Moonlight flickers through the window- inching towards the other side of the room. It’s late and I’m exhausted but even when I am, I can’t sleep. There’s too much screaming in my head. Too much gore. Too much carnage that I can only barely remember. The only things that do remember are my heart and lungs- hammering and pounding and stretching to the fullest in the wake of whatever nightmare slinked back into the recesses of my mind.

Reiner stirs in his sleep and wraps his arms around my waist. Tucking me into him, he sighs and buries his head into my neck. “...can’t sleep?” he mumbles. His voice is deep. Deeper than usual, with a gentle rumble to it.

“No,” I whisper back, shrinking into him.

“Wanna talk about it?”

I stay silent. No. No, I really, really, really, really don’t want to. Talking about whatever bothers me is like pulling teeth. It feels like a burden that I’m casting onto someone else. And with Reiner… he’s burdened enough already. He’s everyone’s big brother. Everyone’s confidant. He shoulders responsibilities and punishments for others- never once thinking about himself.

But he’s exhausted. All the time, exhausted. And he’s so good at hiding it. Even around me. But I can see it. The way his golden eyes go hazy at times, the way his shoulders sag and the way things slip his mind. The way he can become an entirely different person with terrifying speed.

It scares me how much I think he carries. Because when he breaks… it’ll be cataclysmic.

Reiner’s lips slide up my shoulder and neck, pressing gentle kisses against my skin. “...well?”

But maybe he’ll open up to me if I take the step first. Maybe I’ll show him that there’s nothing to worry about- that I’m not going anywhere and that he can talk to me about anything. Everything.

“...I’ve… I’ve been having nightmares.”

His kisses stop where they are, lips still pressed to my skin for a moment before pulling away. His grip on me gets tighter as he pulls me closer. Reiner lets his head rest in the crook of my neck and sighs. “...what about?”

I laugh quietly, letting my fingers trail against his forearm. “...I don’t remember most of them but… there is one that comes back… every now and then.”

“I’m listening, darling.”

Slowly, I take a breath. My eyes close as I remember the details of the dream. “...it always starts off the same… I’m in a throne room and there’s a person at my feet. Sometimes… it’s a woman and other times it’s a man and other times, I can’t tell which, but… there’s always someone at my feet,”

“And they’re always crying,” I whisper, eyebrows drawing together and I grip his forearm. “Sobbing and pleading for mercy. A-...And I…” My voice quivers as tears start to flow from my eyes. “I… just… I don’t even know, I just… I see this… light- red light- come from their eyes and they just… they convulse and thrash around for a moment- screaming and crying and begging- before… before they…,”

“...before they die at my feet,” I whisper brokenly, eyes open and staring out into the distance as the scene replays. “And when they finally die… I look up… and there’s… corpses. Thousands upon thousands of corpses, Rei… All piled up on top of each other and in writhing rigidity. As far as I could see- there were bodies- and… and somehow I know that… that I… I had… somehow I know that I was the one that killed them all.”

“I’m your squad leader, Ness,” the man before us states before clapping a hand onto the horse towering beside him. “And this! Is my horse, Chalet…”

My eyes drift away from him, blankly settling on the various horses in their stalls behind me. I’ve tuned him out… I should probably listen to whatever he has to say. But… I’m so tired. Another night of staring at the ceiling while listening to Reiner snore and watching Bertholdt contort himself into a coil across the room.

I don’t know how many sleepless nights I have left.

My body lurches forward slightly as someone nudges me from behind. I turn to face whoever it was. Jean is towering over me with a smirk on his face as he pretends to be watching Squad Leader Ness. “...what the hell was that for?” I mutter, facing forward.

“You were falling asleep again,” he chuckles quietly, “Another… late night?”

I scoff and shake my head, “You’re a child.”

“You didn’t say ‘no’.”

“No, Jean,” I hiss, “I just… couldn’t sleep.”

I can feel him deflate slightly behind me. “...oh…”

“Yeah.”

“...I get them, too.”

“I really hope you don’t.”

Connie, standing beside me, scoots closer. “What’re we talkin’ about?”

Jean answers at the same time as I do. “Sex.”

“Food.”

Connie’s eyebrows furrow slightly as he risks a glance at me. “...huh?”

I sigh and roll my eyes, “We were talking about-”

“Did someone say ‘food’?” Sasha whispers excitedly behind me.

I sigh and roll my eyes again. “You three are-”

“Hilarious.”

“Your favorites.”

“Really hungry.”

Groaning softly, I shake my head at their responses. “Gods… I thought Armin, Eren, and Mikasa were a lot… then I had to get you knuckleheads thrown in, too.”

“Now!” Ness states, looking significantly more disheveled than he did a few minutes ago. Adjusting the bandana around his head, he huffs and stands up straight. “Follow me and I’ll show you to your dorms- and then you’ll be introduced to your horses.”

He walks off, leading us between the stables and the looming walls of the castle. My eyes trail up the crumbling stone- plants and vines and flowers managing their way through the cracks- and over the rolling hills dotted with trees. Sunlight floods the stone courtyard, basking us all in its warmth.

It reminds me of home.

Not Shiganshina- but of the modest cottage in the forest. I smile to myself, watching Sasha bother Jean with Connie’s help just in front of me. I remember playing with her in the trees. We made and marked that forest. There isn’t a tree in that entire forest we haven’t carved up with arrows and knives or with the undersides of our shoes as we climbed their roots and limbs. Sasha would be afraid at first- of foxes or wolves or falling or tripping. But as soon as I took her hand and led her to the sunlight, to the tops of the trees, to the very breath of the sky… she’d always hunger for more. To go to the brightest spot in the forest, to climb the highest tree, to scale the steepest cliff.

My smile starts to fade slightly.

She’s even more afraid than she used to be… did I cause that? Does she even remember? She was young when I left… Does she remember when she scraped her knee and told her that she was now one with the forest- that its blood was in her and her blood in it? Does she remember that first tree we climbed together? Does she remember the nights we would run barefoot around the dew-covered clearings in the heart of the woods with no light to guide us except that of the moon? Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?

Will we ever get to go back…?

The group stops. Ness smiles at us and points down the hallway to our left. “Down this hallway are the boys’ rooms,” he points to the hallway to our right. “And down this one is the girls’.” He chuckles and turns back to us. “There is… one other thing.”

Uh oh.

“There’s only one bathroom.”

I stifle a groan. It’s a goddamn castle. How in the walls is that even possible- one bathroom, my ass.

“Well… only one that’s in good enough shape to be used, anyway. ‘sides the officers’ bathroom...” Ness admits, a sheepish smile growing on his lips as he rubs the back of his head. “You’re welcome to fix up the other ones, though! ...although, I think you’d need help…” Ness continues muttering more to himself than anyone else.

One bathroom. Unbelievable. I growl under my breath as Ness marches us back out into the courtyard. You’d think Captain Shortstack would be all over the renovations of this place- bathrooms included.

Whatever. It’s not like I shower when everyone else does, anyway. There’s always a possibility I could sneak into the officers’ bathroom like when we were in training… And there was that river...

“I can see you already coming up with a plan,” Sasha appears next to me, lowering her voice. “What’re ya thinkin’?”

I laugh softly, nudging her arm with my elbow. “Nothing regarding food.”

Sasha pouts slightly, “Fine… then what’re ya thinkin’ about?”

“Just plannin’ my way into the officers’ bathroom.”

“Oooh,” Sasha laughs maliciously. “Do you think they’ll have hot water?”

I sigh, closing my eyes and imagining the steam and feel of hot water cascading down my body. Hot water was a privilege in the Cadet Corps. ...one that was constantly being robbed from me. I’d mostly show up after everyone had already showered, praying that maybe I’d have even a moment to myself to unwind- and to not be stared at. And nearly every time, I bathed in freezing cold water. But there were a few times where I’d be wrapped in steam, delicate streams of hot water warming my frigid body.

...now that I think about it, those ‘few times’ were whenever Reiner would wake me up early to get in the shower before everyone else.

“Gods,” I mumble, looking at Reiner as he walks with Bertholdt and Annie. “I really hope so, ‘tato-muncher.”

As if he felt my gaze on him, Reiner turns around and smiles. I return the smile with a scrunch of my nose. Reiner’s eyes glide behind me for a second, returning to me before darting back behind me. I turn around to follow his gaze.

Eren.

Eren runs straight for us, green cape flaring out behind him as he charges towards the group. Our eyes meet and his pace increases. My hand latches onto Sasha’s sleeve and tugs, “‘Tato! ‘Tato, look!” I laugh, slapping Connie’s shoulder. “Look who it is!”

Connie and Sasha turn around and I can hear the others turn along with them. Armin and Mikasa greet him first, taking him into their arms and speaking quietly amongst themselves for a moment. When they break away, Eren’s smile widens as he looks over us.

“...you’re all here?” he asks quietly, smile slightly fading. “You all joined the Scouts?”

“Well, yeah,” I laugh, “Why else would we be here- shits ‘nd giggles?”

Eren rolls his eyes before scanning over us again. “Wait… if you’re all here… That means Jean, Marco, and Annie all joined the Military Police.”

My heart plummets like a rock into my stomach. That’s right. He wasn’t there for the funeral. He doesn’t know.

The remaining section of our group walks up behind Eren- Jean leading them all. Eren turns around and groans. “Not you, too.”

Jean doesn’t react. His face unreadable and voice flat, he rips the bandage off. “Marco’s dead.”

“...what?” Eren mumbles, “What did you just… What’d you just say? Did you say Marco died?”

Jean’s voice stays still as he continues.

“Seems like not everyone can die a dramatic death.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” I laugh, picking up a section of hay and starting back towards the stable. “We know everyone, every thing’s position in the formation except Eren’s- arguably the most volatile and important piece of information to have. That isn’t the least bit confusing to you?”

Reiner shrugs, taking the hay from my hands. “Dunno… I haven’t really thought about it.”

I huff and shake my head, stepping in front of him and taking the hay back. “I can carry it,” I mutter, looking at the ridges growing in his face. “And by the look on your face, you have been thinking about it.” I turn around, lifting the hay over the stable door and onto the growing pile just beside my horse.

My horse nudges me with his nose, huffing. I smile and rub my hand up and down his nose, “...needy, aren’t we?” I whisper softly.

“Ya gonna give him a name?” Reiner asks, patting his hand against the horse’s neck.

Peeking down under the horse’s neck, I squint up at him. “You didn’t answer me.”

Reiner rolls his eyes and walks away, sighing. “You didn’t ask anything.”

“I asked if you were thinking about why we weren’t being filled in on Eren’s location in the formation.”

“Technically, you didn’t ask,” he shoots back.

My eyes lock with his in an intense stare. “...we really gonna do this right now?” I ask quietly, still petting my horse.

Reiner sighs and looks away, running a hand through his hair. I turn back to my horse, letting my forehead rest against his cheek. Reiner sighs again. The three of us stand in silence- only my horse breaking the silence with occasional huffs and flicks of his tail.

“...I have been thinking about it,” Reiner finally mumbles. “But… not like you have.”

Here we go again with him being all cryptic and skittish and avoidant. I am so sick of this game.

“Then how have you been thinking about it, Reiner?” I hiss, lifting my head off my horse and looking into his large grey eye. “All the time- just when I think you’re gonna open up to me about what’s going on in that…” I sigh frustratedly, “That… that… stupid, thick, adorable, blond head’a yours you just… you shut me back out again. And it’s so goddamn irritating, Rei,” I admit with a slight squeak in my voice.

Slowly, I turn to face him, gaze dropping down to the ground. “...I’ve been… I’ve been so open with you. More open than I have with anyone in my whole life- except, I dunno... Sasha- but I just… It’d be nice to have some’a that returned.”

I can hear him get closer to me. Gently, his arms wrap around me and tuck me into his chest. I’m swallowed in his embrace as he runs his fingers up and down my back. “...okay,” he whispers, “okay, darling… I’ll… I’ll try and open up to you, okay? I’ll…” he trails off and sighs, tightening his hold on me as he places his chin on the top of my head.

“I know how hard it is, and… I… I’m not trying to force it out of you or anything… I just… I want to help you,” I whisper quietly. “And I promise you, Rei...I’m not going anywhere.”

There’s a coldness in his laugh. It leaves his lips like ice and falls to the floor like daggers. “Thank you, darling. Just…,” Reiner takes my shoulders, pushing us apart. His gold eyes have slightly lost their luster as they peer deep into me. I squirm slightly in his stare, eyebrows furrowing. “You have to understand that there is a lot happening- something... bigger, darling.”

I blink and tilt my head slightly to the side. “Did you… did you get another assignment?” I ask quietly, “Something under the table?”

Reiner is quiet for a moment, eyes flicking between mine. “...yes. Something under the table- from people higher than the Captain.”

My eyes widen slightly. Is this what’s been weighing on him for so long? That’s why he’s been missing at times? What he’s been trying to tell me? Another assignment that he can’t talk about, even with me-

Oh gods.

I feel like a total ass.

“Who…?” I ask quietly, taking note of the way he straightens up to scan around us before shrinking back down.

Reiner scoots us back, tucking me up against the stable door. “I… I can’t tell you but… you understand that, right, darling?” He asks hopefully, a small lilt to his voice. Gently, his fingers trail my face and a small smile crosses my face. His lips mirror mine.

“I understand that, love,” I hum, leaning into his touch. “I do… I do have another question.”

Reiner smiles wider, lovingly staring down at me. “What is it, darling?”

Nervous claws at my stomach.

I shouldn’t ask this.

Why? He’s finally being open with me- willing to at least tell me what’s wrong. Shouldn’t I-

No. There’s something bigger here. Don’t. Ask.

“__________?”

I swallow my fear and meet his gaze. “...I heard you the night after the first clean-up operation,” I admit quietly, “with Annie and Bertholdt.”

Reiner’s eyes darken, dropping down and avoiding my gaze. “...how much did you...?”

“Not much,” I laugh nervously, “Just you guys arguing about telling me… and Annie saying to only tell me when you’re sure of how I’d feel.”

With a sigh of relief, he closes his eyes and smiles. He quickly presses his lips to my forehead. “Okay, okay… Okay… Sorry, I just… I don’t need t’get... chewed out for that.” I chuckle softly, “So… that big’a deal, huh?”

Reiner laughs, “Yes. That big of’a deal.”

“...so… it’s you, Annie, and Bertholdt,” I mumble, picking at the leather strap running down his chest. “Anyone else that I know?”

“No, just us three.”

“Am… am I in danger?” I ask jokingly, “All this secrecy- it makes me wonder.”

Reiner doesn’t laugh with me.

“Rei?” I call, looking up at him. “...am I?”

His eyes slide down to me, a small smile on his lips. “...stick with me, darling- I’ll keep ya safe.”

“...what?”

“There’s a lot at work here, __________,” Reiner sighs, his eyes going hazy for a second as he relives whatever is ‘at work’. Blinking, he focuses back on me. “But I can keep you safe. I’ve been keeping you safe.”

What does this even mean? Are there people I can’t trust? If that’s true, then what? What am I supposed to do? Be some tiny little doll cowering in fear behind him? I hate being treated like some weak, fragile, defenseless thing. And what if he gets hurt protecting me? What then? What if something goes wrong and he ends up being blamed for something he didn’t do?

And what about Sasha?

“...what about my sister? What about her? Who’s gonna keep her safe?” I ask, clutching the fabric covering his chest, “If anything happens to Sasha, I…”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to Sasha,” Reiner hums quietly, “We’re gonna keep her safe.”

“And Eren? Mikasa? Armin? What about the boys? If any of them get hurt, Rei, I just… I don’t think I could…”

“__________,” he says firmly, catching my attention. Slowly, my eyes slide up to meet his again. They’re gentle and glowing in the fading sunlight. His hand trails down my face again, leaving a buzzing wake behind it.

“You need to trust me.”

I swallow and nod quickly. “Okay, yes, okay… Okay, you’re right. We… We are all gonna be okay.”

Reiner chuckles and lets his chin rest on the top of my head as he tucks me into his chest again.

“That’s my girl.”

“Oiii!” I yell, waving a hand over my head. “Ponytail!”

Eld’s head starts swiveling around, looking for whoever called him. With a gentle kick of my horse, he trots closer. “Eld!” I call again, sliding off the side of my horse. My feet hit the dirt just in front of him as I straighten up, shaking a few stray hairs out of my eyes. “It’s good to see ya again.”

Eld smiles and chuckles, gesturing down to the emerald green cape around my shoulders. “So you made it.”

I look down and rub the fabric between my fingers. A smile crosses my face as I look back up to him. “Just like I dreamed I would.”

“You’re in pretty high spirits,” Oluo scoffs as he walks by with a supply box. Setting it down into a wagon, he huffs and turns to face us. “Considering we’ll all be facing death in a few hours.”

“Always the charmer, huh?” I mutter quietly, earning a small laugh from Eld. “And if you have t’know, I’m just happy we’re one step closer to going outside the walls…” I smile to myself, imagining the places Armin used to talk about. Fire water, ice hills, saltwater that goes on for so long even the merchants couldn’t drain all the salt from it.

I think that’ll be my favorite. ‘Sea’.

Oluo scoffs again. “Bright-eyed, suicidal recruit… Just don’t get someone else killed, will ya?”

“What the hell’s that supposed t’mean?” I snap back.

Oluo smiles crookedly, realisation splitting his face like a piece of china. “Struck a nerve, huh?,” he laughs, “Better get rid of those if you wanna make it.”

“Bold talk for someone that’s too insecure to keep his own personality,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. I turn my attention back to Eld- who’s gone awfully quiet as the two of us went at it. A blush is back on his cheeks and I can see him fidgeting with his gaze in an effort to mind his own business.

“...uhm…” He mumbles as his eyes catch someone walking behind me. “This is Petra!” Eld blurts, tugging a woman by the arm. “The one that checked on you when you were, uh… asleep.”

“In a coma, more like,” I laugh, dipping my head to the woman. She has ginger hair cut just above her shoulders and soft, kind eyes. There’s something about her that reminds me so much of a deer for some reason.

Petra’s eyes suddenly light up as she looks over me again. “I remember you- you’re __________! I didn’t know you had your heart set on the Scouts. Which is surprising… considering how much Eld talks about you.”

Eld’s face goes even redder. He stands rigidly, eyes fixated on the horizon.

...I think he just went into shock.

“Well, thank you,” I hum, giving Petra another smile. “For checking in on me.”

Petra shakes her head, “It wasn’t any issue at all.”

I dip my head again and lightly punch Eld’s shoulder. “Hopefully you told her the story of how I kicked your and Oluo’s asses.”

Petra tilts her head slightly to the side before a wicked smile crosses her lips. “...I don’t think I’ve heard that one, __________. Please, tell me.”

“Well, I was walking down an alleyway when-”

“That’s good!” Eld suddenly yelps, “Thank you so much, __________, for stopping by, but the Captain’s calling us!”

Petra giggles as Eld walks behind her, pushing her by the shoulders. Captain Shortstack Jackass is watching them with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows furrowed. He very obviously didn’t call either of them. “You’ll have to tell me when we get back!” Petra calls.

“Of course!” I laugh, watching as Eld goes even redder. Petra waves over his shoulder and I do the same before mounting my horse. I give his neck a gentle pat and urge him forward- back towards the stable.

“You... need a name, Horse,” I mutter as we trot past the various wagons and other Scouts getting their horses and gear ready. “All horses have names… I guess.”

Horse huffs at me.

“Well… you’re…” I look down at his coat as we start to pick up speed. It shimmers in the sunlight, revealing the faint speckles of black and grey under his cream-colored coat. “You’re cream and you’ve got freckles. And last I checked, you have grey-” Horse looks over slightly at me, light-brown eyes glistening. “Sorry… brown eyes. And black mane and tail.”

My eyes flick up, locking onto the figure standing just a few feet in front of my horse. Gripping the reins, I tug back to stop Horse from trampling whoever is in front of me. Instead, I feel myself being shot forward and colliding with the ground. Pain shoots out from my arm, branching out in heated flashes.

I roll onto my back and stare up at the clouds as they lazily float by. “Gods…” I mutter to myself, “That sucked.”

“Told you I’m better at handling horses than you.”

I sit straight up. My head on a swivel, I look around for the voice. It sounded just like… It couldn’t have been- no. No, I’m just-

My eyes land on him. Standing just a couple feet away, with a green Scouts cape on over his shoulders and ODM gear strapped on. He laughs, walking closer and shaking his head. “Jeez, __________, you’ll really get yourself killed if you keep trying to keep up with me.”

“Freckles?” I whisper.

Marco smiles and laughs again, “Really hit your head hard, didn’t you?”

“Freckles?” I whisper again, reaching out to touch him.

This isn’t real. It can’t be real. He’s dead. Bit in half. Died alone. Left in the sun to rot for days. He’s dead.

“Ah, jeez, you really did hit your head hard,” Marco mumbles, crouching down beside me. “We gotta get you to Sasha. She’s got some experience with injuries, doesn’t she…? And I won’t even tell Reiner! It’ll just be between us, okay?” He asks, worriedly scanning my face.

“Freckles, you… You… You aren’t here.”

“What are ya talkin’ about? I’m right here, remember? We were practicing horseback riding and maneuvering. Don’t you remember the bet we had?”

Wait a moment.

This was real.

This… this happened already, why am I…?

“...it was my haul from the Commandant’s office,” I whisper, “The… the fountain pen. You’d… you’d take it if I couldn’t pull off a sharp turn and activate my ODM gear while jumping off my horse.”

Tears start to cloud my vision as I stare up at him. “You aren’t really here,” I croak, “Are you?”

Marco shakes his head.

“...I miss you, Freckles,” I smile, tears slipping down my face as I look up at him. My hand brushes through his cheek- like he was a colored mist- but his smile remains. “Gods, I miss you.”

“You’ll see us again.”

I nod, feeling my tears start down the sides of my face. “...tell Franz and Hanna I said ‘hi’.”

“I will.”

“And you… you stay outta trouble, you hear me?” I laugh, tears choking me at the base of my chest.

“You’re the one that needs to stay outta trouble.”

I nod and laugh again, shaking my head.

“...take… take care’a the others for me, will you?” I nod silently. Marco looks up as Horse trots closer. “It’s time for me to go. Just… close your eyes, okay?”

My eyes slide closed before voices start to swarm around me. Bleeding into one another, it makes it so damned hard to hear what anyone is actually saying. All I can do is feel.

And someone’s got me by the shoulders, shaking me pretty damned hard.

I open my eyes to see familiar faces. “...I’ve got to stop waking up to you guys looking down at me like I’ve died.”

The four of them sigh.

“If you die because of a stupid horse incident, I’ll never forgive you,” Jean mutters, getting to his feet and walking away. I can hear him muttering about ‘how stupid’ of a funeral that would be.

“What?” I laugh, wincing at the pain shooting from above my left eye. My fingers graze the spot- only to pull away with a scarlet coloring.

Ah, shit.

“So,” Reiner grumbles, scooping me off the ground effortlessly. “You and your horse have a bit of an issue?”

I scoff, curling into myself as my head starts to pound.

“No?” He asks as we walk towards the castle. “Then what the Hell kind of stunt were you tryin’a pull?”

“I-,” I stop and groan, clutching my temples as they begin to sear. “I… I thought… I thought I saw someone.”

Reiner looks down at me as he pushes the castle door open with his back. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes flicking over every inch of me. It’s the same damn look as every other time I’ve gotten hurt. Which… arguably… is a lot of times.

The ODM incident where I almost cracked my skull open on a tree branch.

The time I slipped and fell in the bathroom.

The sparring training where I cracked three of my ribs. And my arm. And dislocated my shoulder. All because I wouldn’t yield.

The rooftop.

The grocery store.

Various little minor accidents scattered throughout.

And now this.

We round the corner and he places me onto a bed. I watch as he runs a hand down my face and sticks his head out the hallway to look around before returning to my side. Reiner sighs. “What am I gonna do with you?”

“Love me,” I hum, closing my eyes slightly as the pain throbs and squirms beneath my skin. “Unconditionally.”

“Gods,” he mutters, scooting closer. “I probably will.”

“Probably?” I ask quietly. “Not ‘most definitely’?”

A deep sigh passes his lips. It rumbles in his chest like thunder. Calming, soothing, gentle thunder. Memories of the forest running to find shelter as another storm took us by surprise. Bare feet padding the grass. Clothes sticking to our skins. Hair plastered to our faces- much like our smiles. Wiping her face as she ducks behind my arm. Telling her that the forest was telling the sky a joke, that the thunder was the sky’s laughter. Watching her peek out to watch the forest and sky talk, laughing as she swears she heard the punchline.

Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?

“Hey,” Rei mutters, shaking my arm slightly. “Don’t go to sleep on me yet.”

“...sorry,” I mumble, opening my eyes and letting them glide to his spot beside me. “Where is she-”

The door slams open. Sasha- with eyes wide and clutching medical supplies to her chest- pants in the doorway. “Did I make it?” She asks wearily.

“Did…,” I trail off, sitting up to look at her. “Did you think I died?”

Sasha shakes her head, kicking the door closed just as Connie and Jean try to walk in behind her. “No,” she mutters. Plopping down beside me, she looks over me. “Just thought maybe you’d passed out.”

“Check my eyes,” I remind her. Sasha nods and leans in, forcing open my eyes with her fingers.

“...your eye-holes seem to be fine.”

“...my pupils?”

“Eye-holes. Same thing.”

I know Sasha’s joking but by the look on Reiner’s face, he does not.

“She’s only kidding, love,” I whisper as I take his hand. “She knows the basics.”

“Yep,” Sasha agrees, digging through the pile of medical supplies she brought in. “And you don’t have a concussion- and that thing on your head doesn’t need stitches- it should heal in a week or so... so you’re good to go after I clean it… ha!” She snatches a bottle of saline and a bandage. “You’ll be all good in no time, __________. Trust me.”

I’m the one that taught her. Why don’t I trust her?

“You awake?”

I focus back in on the now. The present. My surroundings.

Scattered trees and hills to the right. Denser trees on my left. Two horses trailing behind me. No flares from either direction. Reiner just in front of me.

“Always am.”

“Good.” He starts to pull back on his horse, levelling off with me. “How’s your head?”

Instinctively, I reach up and graze the bandage. “I don’t feel anything.”

“Good.”

“...are you okay?” I ask, looking over at him. His skin is pale and flushed pink with a slight tinge to his ears. “Here. Drink some.” Unbuckling my flask, I hand it to him.

...and he downs the entire thing before handing it back to me.

“Rei, are you sick?”

“No, I just-”

“Well, love, you look like you’re either about to shit yourself or vomit,” I laugh worriedly, “Are you sure?”

“__________, listen, I…,” he sighs and looks away. He’s even more red now.

I nudge him with my elbow. “I’m listening.” I smirk, stirrupping Horse again. My eyes turn to the horizon, scanning for any flares or anything that approaches us.

Reiner returns my smile and sighs shakily. “I wanna-”

Something appears in the distance. “What is that?” I mumble, staring at the thing. “Do you see it?” I point. “That.”

Reiner looks at the thing, squinting. “I… I can’t tell.”

“Should we fire a flare off?” I ask, reaching to my saddlebag. “Just in case?”

“Just… hang on-”

He stops just as the thing changes form, moving closer towards us and faster.

It takes shape as it grows. Fourteen meters, blonde hair.

Female body type.

My hands move on their own- throwing the canister into the gun, lifting it straight up, and firing. Red smoke fires out from the gun into the clouds. “Rei, we have to move!” I yell, turning the horses in towards the center of the formation.

I look over my shoulder, watching the two horses trail after Reiner. He stays going forward, heading right for it with glazed eyes. “Reiner!”

My eyes follow his gaze as I bring Horse to a stop. They land on the Female Titan, who snatches something from mid-air and dropkicks it. Blood trails after the broken body and I watch ODM wires disconnect from the Female Titan’s body- following the body.

It’s… is it like Eren? A person inside it?

“Reiner!” I scream again.

It gets his attention. Snapping out of his daze, Reiner makes a sharp turn.

As he gets closer, I press my heels into Horse’s sides. “Ha!”

Footsteps follow after us, thundering and quivering the very organs inside of me. My breath catches in my lungs as I feel it- her- getting closer. Gods. Gods, please. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this.

Something flashes at my side. With trembling force, a foot lands beside me- crushing one of the horses before it could even make a sound.

We’re going to die. Right now, we are going to die.

I wince, waiting for her to reach down and crush me in her hand. Reiner yells something but it’s lost in the frantic whinnies of our horses, the pounding of my heart, the panting of my lungs. When it reaches me, it’s blurred together like the colors in my eyes.

‘I’ve gotten hurt’ is what it sounds like.

Gods, please. Spare us.

My fists clutch the reins as I look up. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fourteen meters. This is what will kill me.

The Female Titan’s other foot collides with the earth beside me. All at once, sounds and colors and shapes retract into their determined forms. Everything flushes back into focus as the Female Titan takes another step away from us. I watch as she continues sprinting towards the center- leaving us in her wake. Her head turns to look over her shoulder before she presses forward.

Right to Armin.

“Rei!” I yell, sticking Horse again. “She’s gonna hit Armin! She’s headed right for him!”

“C’mon!” He yells back, appearing at my side.

“This is the job we chose, right?” Jean snaps, “So lend me a hand!”

The rest of us are silent. Only hoofbeats and footsteps resound around us. Silently, Armin pulls his hood up over his head. “...pull your hoods up. Over your heads- far down enough so she can’t see your face.”

“You’re thinking she won’t kill anyone that could be Eren,” Reiner mutters, tugging his hood up over his head. “...that’s a nice, but small, consolation… Let’s hope she has bad eyes, too.”

Jean shakes his head, laughing. “I was always creeped out the way you used to hang around Eren so much,” he mutters as he pulls his hood up. “But I always knew you were capable.”

“...‘creeped out’ is a little harsh but thanks,” Armin mumbles.

Feeling the three pairs of eyes on me, I tug my hood up as well. “...I always knew I’d die next to you three bastards.”

“Well. If we don’t,” Reiner chuckles, “We’ll throw a big party ‘nd get married.”

“Oh yeah,” I scoff, pulling my swords out from their holsters. “We’ll have a big ol’ buffet ‘nd everything. I’ll even have a live band play for us.”

“You two lovebirds over there still squawking?” Jean barks, leaning forward to glare at us.

“Will you shut up for a minute?” Reiner shoots back, “I’m… Kinda doin’ something.”

“You can ‘kinda do something’ after this!” Jean yells, “We’re not dying today.”

“Fine!” I snap, “I’m not spending my last moments fighting with you two morons! Let’s just do this. Delay her as long as we can- by any means necessary. Got it?!”

The three grunt in agreement. “Jean, go to her left,” Reiner starts, “Armin, you go to her right. __________, you-”

“I’m going with Armin!” I whip my reins and follow after Armin as he heads to the Female Titan’s right hand side.

We level off just behind her. “She’s much slower than when she attacked me!” Armin comments, “If we’re going to do this, it has to be now!”

“Wait for Jean!” I yell, “He’s the best out of us with ODM gear. If he can get a good angle on her, it’ll be us being his support!”

A flash shoots out, launching into the Female Titan’s leg. Jean flies in behind it with his swords readied. The Titan crouches down and spins- flinging Jean. Armin and I get to our feet and stand on our horses’ backs. As my wires stick into the Female Titan’s leg, I give Horse a tap of my heel that sends him running away from the Titan.

Something swipes just under my legs. Everything around me slows as I watch the Titan’s hand bat Armin’s horse out from underneath him. His name leaves my lips the same way it did when Shiganshina fell. Breathless. Screeching. Desperate. “Armin!”

“__________!” Reiner’s voice carries out over my own.

Before I can do anything, I feel something crack against my back. I’m pushed forward- colliding with the earth and rolling for a few feet. Landing on my back, I stare up in a daze at the clouds.

Aching pain crawls through my veins- igniting my muscles in throbbing, squeezing pain. My back arches as I take long, hard breaths to stop my heart from pounding in my ears. It does nothing but amplify the sound as I feel my lungs burn and the cages around them scream in agony.

Broken ribs. At least a few on each side.

Certain slices and patches of my skin burn from the contact with the ground. Minor scratches, bruises, friction burns.

I’ll live. If she doesn’t finish me off.

Time begins to speed up again- her footsteps not taking so long to hit the ground as they get closer. Clouds seem to flurry past and my heartbeat begins to race once more.

The fight isn’t done yet.

I push myself to my feet, feeling every ache, every pain, every burn a million times over.

The fight isn’t done yet.

I’m not done yet.

The Female Titan tightens her fist, preparing to swing backwards at Jean. Breaking out into a sprint, I click my triggers and shoot my wires into the ground, allowing me to run faster. A blur of gold and green starts towards the Titan as I do- catching me attention so I stutter and stop.

Reiner.

Teeth gritted, eyes blazing, blades glinting. He’s going for her nape.

Armin’s yelling something. The Titan stays completely still as he continues screaming.

And then she snaps.

She catches Reiner’s body in her hand.

My heart stops. Blood stops. Lungs stop.

Everything.

Stops.

“...no.”

Chills run down my spine- dull and weak. Nothing like adrenaline.

Fear.

“No… no.”

I shake my head, watching as Reiner’s body disappears in her grasp.

Someone grabs my waist, tugs me away. “No!” I scream, thrashing around as everything starts to move again. “No!”

“__________!” Jean yells, pulling me away. “We have to go!”

A blur of metal spins out from her grip, severing her fingers off from the base of her palm. Reiner pushes out and around her back. Grabbing Armin, he sprints away from her and towards us.

The four of us break out into a sprint as she stares down at her palm. She gets to her feet and runs away from us- her hand still steaming.

Something breaks inside of me. Tears start running down my face as Reiner sidles up next to me. Armin- bleeding from his forehead- is in his arms. Titan blood evaporates off of Reiner’s hair and shoulders as he looks down at me. “We’ll be okay! She won’t eat us unless she’s a cannibal! We-”

I cut him off, punching his shoulder as hard as I can. “Don’t you ever pull that shit again, Reiner Braun!” I snap, furiously wiping the tears rolling down my face. “I swear on the walls, I… I will kill you myself if you do, do you hear me?! You scared the shit outta me! I… I thought I lost you.”

Reiner laughs breathlessly. “I told you, darling. We haven’t gotten married, yet. I can’t die until that happens.”

“We aren’t leaving anyone behind,” I snap, tightening Armin’s bandages. “None of that, you hear me?”

“We might not have a choice,” Armin mutters, “If we all stay behind, we might all-”

“I said no!”

The three of us go silent as Jean continues whistling for his horse.

But the question still hangs in the air.

Who’s going to stay behind?

There’s only one horse- there’s four of us. If somehow one of us gets our horse back, we’ll be able to get out of here but until then… We’re stranded in Titan country without a means of escape.

“We have to talk about it,” Reiner says quietly.

“No,” I get to my feet and shake my head. “No. We don’t.”

“__________-”

I hold up a hand to stop him, “Don’t.” Turning to Jean, I gesture to his bag. “You have an emergency flare, yeah?”

Jean nods and gets it out, loading it into his gun. Shooting it into the sky, purple smoke trails up from our location.

It’s a long shot, but they might get the message.

“We can wait three more minutes,” Reiner says firmly. “During then, we’ll decide who’s gonna-”

“I’ll stay.” My head snaps to Armin. “Just get a message to the command section- to Commander Erwin, if you can.”

“I’m staying, too, then.”

“__________, no-” Reiner starts.

“I don’t want to hear it, Rei,” I mumble, “Please. I don’t… I don’t want to hear it but look. We’re both injured. Armin’s got a possible concussion and he’s bleeding. I’ve broken half a dozen ribs and I’ve got more bruises than I know what to do with. If anyone’s staying it’s-”

“Neither of you,” Jean laughs, “Someone’s coming this way with three horses.” The three of us look over to him as he shades his face from the sun. “I think it’s… It looks like… Christa!”

“Guys!” Christa’s dainty voice rings out as she approaches, “Are you okay?!”

I huff a laugh, “Define ‘okay’, blondie!”

“If __________’s still cracking jokes, she’s still alive, right?” Christa laughs, coming to a stop just in front of us. The three horses surrounding her skid to a stop.

Horse trots up to me, nudging me with his nose. “Hey there, Horse,” I mutter, pressing my head against his. “Ya miss me?”

“What happened to you guys?” Christa asks as she looks over me. “You look awful.”

“Aw, gee, thanks, blondie,” I giggle, “I feel awful.”

Christa’s soft face tightens slightly in concern. “...you’re sure you’ll be okay riding alone? Your horse… I dunno his name… but he seems to run alongside me pretty well- even without a harness.”

“Yeah, that’s him, alright,” I mumble, rubbing Horse’s nose. “But I think I’ll be alright.”

“...I’m with Christa,” Jean says warily, “You broke six ribs.”

“What?!” Christa screeches. “Six?! No, ma’am! You’re riding with me or with Jean! Six ribs- what were you thinking?!”

I shrug. “I’ve done worse.”

“Worse?!”

Oops. Shouldn’t have said that.

Christa sighs, pinching her eyes closed. “Fine. The past is the past. I can’t change it. But you- right now- are going to ride with Jean or me. Pick one.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” I mumble with a smirk. “I’ll ride with you. Give the boys a little show, how ‘bout that?”

Christa turns a light shade of pink as Reiner helps me sit on top of Christa’s horse. “You behave,” Reiner mutters with a stern look.

But I can see it.

A little mischievous smirk plays his lips as he pulls away.

“Yes sir,” I coo, “I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

The four of us start off towards the center. “What’s your horse’s name?” Christa asks. “He really seems to like you. Before, I couldn’t get him to hold still- then, when I said your name, he calmed down and followed us perfectly fine.”

“...I just call him Horse.”

“...oh…”

I sigh and turn around to watch as Horse gallops. Cream-colored coat hiding thick muscles that twitch and writhe. Dots- freckles- that spatter his coat. His black mane whips about in the wind.

“Freckles,” I say quietly.

“What?”

“Freckles. That’s his name.”

I groan, letting my head fall back as my legs swing off the tree branch. “Rei, we’ve been sitting here for hours and you haven’t said a word to me,” my lip juts out in a pout, “Please talk to me.”

Reiner grumbles under his breath. His arms cross over his chest as he sits on the farest end of the tree branch away from me.

“Baby,” I whine, “you aren’t still mad at me for-”

“Yes, I’m still mad at you for being a tease. And we’ve been out here an hour. Hour and a half, tops.”

“Tch,” I groan again, “Baby, it was just a joke. I didn’t mean to drop my ring.” I hold my hand out in the sun to look at my moonstone ring as it glistens. “It wasn’t on purpose.”

“...you dropped it three times before we got up here.”

“I would never do anything to tease you.” Reiner raises an eyebrow and I roll my eyes. “On a mission.”

Rei’s shoulders lose some of their tension. “...you really didn’t mean to?”

“Of course not, baby,” I coo softly. “Not on a mission.”

Reiner sighs and rolls his eyes before getting to his feet. Wordlessly, he plops down beside me and lays his hand over mine on the branch. “You only call me ‘baby’ when you’re guilty,” he murmurs into the shell of my ear. “...so I forgive you.”

“Oh good, you caught on,” I tease, nudging him with my elbow.

“Easy, there, girl,” he huffs, “you’re still on thin ice.”

“You can’t stay mad at me,” I turn to face him and flash him a face-splitting smile. “I’m your darling.”

“...you’re right,” Rei laughs softly. “I could never.”

The two of us fall into a comfortable- buzzing with adrenaline but still comfortable- silence. I lean forward to look at the Titans gathered at the base of our tree, clawing and gripping the bark in an attempt to get to us. Hungrily, they salivate and stare up at us with glazed eyes.

The Female Titan. Why is she doing what she was? If she’s human, wouldn’t she want the walls to remain? They keep us safe for the time being. The outside world isn’t ready for us to break down our walls. And if she does want the walls gone, why?

And who is she?

“...are you listening?”

“Hm?” I ask, leaning back. “No, I’m sorry, I was just…,” my eyes flick down to the Titans, “...lost in thought.”

“I was just asking how your sides are.”

My fingers rub against my sides. They aren’t sore, they don’t hurt. I’ve always healed fast but knowing how long it’s supposed to take to heal sometimes, it’s… a little disconcerting. “I don’t feel anything.”

“...you’re better already?”

I shrug, “It could just be adrenaline. Or maybe they weren’t as badly broken as we thought they were. Bruising and breaks are really similar…”

Reiner hums in acknowledgment. “As long as you feel okay. When we get back, I’m still getting you checked out.”

“Yes sir.”

I lean over the side of the branch to see the Titans again. “It’s strange that we weren’t directed around the forest.” I comment quietly, leaning over more before my ODM wire locks into place.

“...Iyeah,” Reiner mutters, “Why wouldn’t we just go around?”

“I dunno,” I strain, slightly jiggling the wire a bit. “But do you think it was on purpose?”

“It’s Commander Erwin,” Rei chuckles, “Of course it was.”

“That’s true… I just… It’s so hard for us to see threats coming in,” I grip the wire and tug harder. “So why send them in?”

“Assuming he knows of the right flank casualties, we should’ve retreated a long time ago,” he mutters, “But we’re here and the center flank is somewhere in the trees.”

“Which is also weird, right?” I ask, yanking on the wire even harder. “I mean, if we are gonna go in, why not-”

The wire snaps out of the branch. The force of me pulling sends me over the edge of the branch. I watch as the wire extends rapidly- reeling me down towards the Titans’ grasps. Reiner runs to the end, reaching out to grab my hand.

But it’s too late.

A hand wraps around my body and pulls, unlatching my ODM wire from the tree. It starts to tighten as it turns me around to face it. My eyes lock onto it and I scream, thrashing around wildly. My arms are pinned in its hold- trapped against the steel of my ODM blade holsters and the clammy flesh wrapped around me.

Another Titan stares at me hungrily. As I look at it, red light starts to pour from its eyes like fog. Without warning, it lunges. I wince and duck away- waiting to be engulfed in moist darkness.

It doesn’t come. It’s replaced with an unearthly howl of pain and the sound of tearing flesh.

The grip around me falls away and as I’m spun in a free-fall, I catch glimpses of the scene above me. Red fog pours from the Titans’ eyes as they all latch onto the Titan that grabbed me. Bite by bite, they tear into the searing flesh of the Titan and devour the steaming chunks of bleeding meat.

They’re… eating it.

The red fog.

It was real.

My body stops, swinging up before I hit the forest floor. As we land on another branch, Reiner hugs me to his body tightly. “You scared the shit out of me,” he says raggedly. I feel tears drip onto my shoulder. But I don’t look at him- even as he pulls away, gripping my shoulders.

My eyes are focused on the fog swirling through the bodies of the Titans.

What the Hell is it?

Why does it keep following me?

Why does it keep saving me?

“...__________!”

I’m pulled back into my body- away from the grasping hands of the Titans that force muscles and tendons and organs down their throats. Blankly, I stare at Reiner. “What happened?” he asks quietly, looking over his shoulder at the Titans. “Are you-”

A scream rips out of my throat as I look down at my hands. My fingers start to rake through my skin, clawing for the source of the red fog.

Get it out.

Get. It. Out.

Reiner’s hands fumble with mine as they try to stop me from continuing the hurried slicing of my skin. “Darling, darling,” he says calmly as he grabs my wrists, “Darling, hey, look at me. Look at me.”

Wildly, my eyes fly around my surroundings.

Get it out. Red fog. Red fog. I have to get it out. I have to find it.

Red fog. I have to get it out.

Red fog.

“__________!” Reiner snaps, shaking me by my wrists, “Look at me!”

My gaze settles on him but I can feel myself twitching and writhing in place.

Red fog.

Get it out. I have to get it out.

“...you’re okay,” he mumurs, “You’re okay now, okay, darling? You’re safe.”

Tears burst from my eyes, leaking down my face as I roll my hands around from my wrists. Trembling violently, my body falls to the floor. Reiner catches me before I fall, scooping me up under my arms and holding me to him.

“There’s something... inside of me,” I strain, keeping down the screams wanting to claw their way out. My nails rake his back- threatening to rip through the fabric. “There is... something inside of me, Rei. I don’t know what it is. And I’m so scared, Rei. I just… I don’t… I don’t understand it. I… I don’t know... what it is. There’s… There’s something inside of me, Reiner, please! Please, Rei! Take it out! Get it out of me!”

WHEW

a doozy like i said. if you made it this far, i am so proud of you. my short attention span could literally never. as always thank you so much for reading and i hope to hear your thoughts and comments!

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bridgyrose · 3 years

Note

Hi, I hope you're having a nice day :)

Snowfall prompt?

Cinder leaves Salem and starts working with the good guys but they are all, understandably, still suspicious of her and she's also very cold and reserved. She goes on a mission with Winter and is forced (by Salem or maybe someone else) to remember her past in Atlas, revealing it to Winter in the process.

After they finish their mission they go back to the place where they're currently staying (hotel room, one bed situation maybe) and Cinder can't hide all her feelings of hurt resurfacing after remembering such a traumatic event in her life. Winter, although still resenting Cinder for all she had done to her and the people she cared about, decides to put that aside for the moment and comfort her the best she can because she understands how such an unfair treatment could have caused Cinder to be the way is today and how much strength it must take Cinder to try to overcome her past and do the right thing.

Cinder sighed and sat down on her bed, wiping tears from her eyes. The mission was supposed to be a simple one: go into Beacon and search for the relic. With Winter helping her, clearing out the grimm was supposed to go easy. But nothing could’ve prepared her to face… that.

Winter sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Everything okay?”

“They… they still hate me…”

“They dont hate you. Worried you’re still going to hurt them, but they dont hate you.”

Cinder nodded, shaking a bit as she wiped a few more tears from her eyes. “R-right…”

Winter went silent, awkwardly sitting next to Cinder for a few minutes. “There’s… something else, isnt there?”

Cinder didnt answer at first, trying to hold back her emotions. But that grimm they faced and the gas it let out, those visions of what happened to her… all of it became too much. Tears streamed down her face as she broke down into sobs, unable to hold anything back. She had thought she was over her past. That she could no longer be hurt by it. But seeing it all happen again, watching herself get shocked while Rhodes stood by doing nothing, the Madame and the look she had every time she punished Cinder, even her step sisters… all of it hurt to see again. The scarring around her neck burned as if someone was shocking her all over again.

Winter sighed and awkwardly pulled Cinder into a hug, rubbing her back. “It’ll be okay. We’re safe here. I’m… I’m not sure what you saw while fighting that grimm, but whatever it was, its not real.”

“It… was though…” Cinder wiped away a few tears, moving the collar of her shirt to show the scarring around her neck. “I… I was used as a slave when I was younger. Abused for the littlest of mistakes. One day after being shocked, I hid away and stole a hunter’s weapons. For a moment, I thought I had finally found my way out of there, at least until he caught me. But then, he started training me. I wanted to be a hunter like him one day so I could never feel powerless. But one day… I just… I couldnt take it anymore and snapped.”

Winter hesitated as she listened to Cinder, realizing her upbringing wasnt all that different from her own. “Just couldnt take it anymore, could you?”

Cinder shook her head. “The madame and my step sisters found the swords my mentor gave to me. And then she punished me for what felt like hours. When I couldnt take it anymore, I… I just…” The memories of that night started running through her mind again, the way it felt to break the necks of her family, the pain she felt from the repeated shocking even after she put up her aura, how good it felt to finally have the power for a little freedom. “I killed them. My mentor walked in as I killed the madame and he… he was so disappointed in me. Instead of trying to help me, he drew his swords and then told me all I’d ever do is run now.” Cinder took a few deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm, her hand starting to heat up. “I ended up killing him too. I didnt… I didnt want to, but I was afraid and angry and… and I… I couldnt-”

“You did what you had to after he didnt give you a chance.” Winter sighed and looked over to Cinder, feeling torn between hating her and feeling sorry for her. “As a huntsman, he should’ve tried to get you out, although I know the laws for Atlas dont exactly make that easy. I think I understand now why you’ve been with Salem for so long. The power she promised to you, it was for your freedom, wasnt it?”

Cinder nodded, looking at her prosthetic and creating a small fireball in her hand, cooling it off into ice. “She found me a couple years after all of that, offering to train me as long as I helped her bring about a new world order. That there was power I could have that would make sure I could never fear losing my freedom. What I didnt realize was that she was basically the same as the madame. All I did was trade one mistress for another, being punished the same way unless she needed me. And I kept trying to justify every reason I had to stay with her.”

“Until she abandoned you.”

Cinder nodded, looking back down to the ground and dropping her ice ball, letting it shatter. “Until she abandoned me, left for dead at your mercy.”

“Then we’ll try to make things right.” Winter took Cinder’s hand and held it tightly. “I can only judge you from what I’ve seen, and Ruby’s made it clear that you will have to atone for what you’ve done. And to start, I’m going to give you the chance you were denied before. To let you prove yourself.”

Cinder looked over to Winter, slightly confused by why she’d do that for her. “You… You really mean it?”

“I do. Everyone deserves a second chance. Especially someone who was denied a first.”

Cinder immediately hugged Winter, starting to sob into her shoulder. “Thank you. I… thank you.”

Winter smiled softly, rubbing Cinder’s back. “Just dont make me regret this.”

#rwby #cinder fall #winter schnee #drabbles #cinwin #snowfall #hurt/comfort

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albino-whumpee · 3 years

Text

An old thing 4

First

Continued from here

Possibly the angstiest part of this. Not much whump really.

I´m gonna go ahead and tag @the-host-and-colton for this one. It´s not the BBU but I suppose the Boxies with babies dynamic is there. “Baby doesn´t understand the situation but the parents do” kinda thing. Excuse the ping!

CW// Dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, forced breeding, mentions of past dub con and non con, blood, implied and mention of past whump of minors, hazing, noncon child separation, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

After five years, Kit was a rowdy little boy. Running around with a smile on his face at all times. You wouldn’t think he was a slave if it wasnt for the thin black collar on his neck.

In how obedient he turned with his masters. Even though he didn’t understand the concept yet.

“Master? Why are Roahn and Shy here?” Kit asked Danae once. Layo and Danae weren’t mom and dad. They were master. But for his little mind it was just the same thing.

“To serve you and us, Kit. You will understand it better when you grow up”

“Alright” Kit said watching Roahn taking care of the garden with her big bump “Master? Will I be able to play with Roahn’s baby?” Kit asked again.

“No more questions Kit” She said annoyed. The kid was quiet but he still looked at Roahn with curiosity.

“Roahn?” Kit asked the woman being hugged by Dimitri in their floor mat. She woke up as it was the middle of the night, and when she saw him, he shook Dimitri awake. They sat in the other side of the cell.

“Hey there Kit” Dimitri smiled at the toddler.

“Hi Shy” Kit said.

“What is it Kit? Are you hurt?” Roahn said stretching her arm for the kid to hold her hand through the bars. The kid took it.

“I am cold upstairs. So I thought you were very cold here too. Its always chilly down here” the kid grabbed the blanket he had carried all the way down and gave it to Dimitri. “I dont want the baby to be cold”.

They looked at each other with a pained and proud expression.

“Do you…wanna see how she moves?” Roahn asked the toddler who instantly put a smile on his face.

Roahn went close to the cell and told the kid to get closer. Kit did. She grabbed his tiny hand and put it on her abdomen. Curiously she moved. As if the little one inside her knew.

“She’s rowdy!” Kit said. The word coming from how Layo would call him sometimes. Kit was an smart boy.

“Yes she is!” Roahn laughed along.

“I cant wait to play with her!” Dimitri and Roahn went stiff “I mean, if I can…” Kit cleared up sensing their discomfort.

Roahn took his hand into hers and gave it a little kiss.

“Of course you can” she said looking at her son in the same hazel eyes she had. His worries escaped his face to be turned into smiling.

“What would you call her, Kit?” Dimitri asked him.

Kit reflexed for a bit, looking at the ceiling.

“Bunnie!” He said “oh! Or Sara! Or Emi!”

“Where did you take those names from?” Dimitri giggled. They were good names.

“Master is writing a new book. I am a character there too!” He said proudly.

“Oh? You are?” Dimitri said, resting his chin in one hand. Roahn thought it had been a long time since she saw him smile like that. Not since Olivia.

“Yes! I am a dog!” Dimitri stopped right there with a shocked face. He cracked a humorless laugh. He really hated Layo for doing that sick joke.

“Do you like dogs Kit?” He asked anyways.

“Yes!! Sadly master doesn’t like them…” Kit pouted.

“Hey Kit, what if I told you there’s a place where you could have a lot of dogs?” Dimitri asked him Roahn looking at him.

“Eh?! Really? Where’s that?” Kit asked getting closer.

“I can take us there but I need you to tell me something. I only will ask you to see one thing everyday ok?” He said getting closer to him. The camera and the microphone were not a problem. They had been tricked for years.

“Everyday?”

“Yes”

“What?”

“If you ever see big men with black suits tell me what day they come in alright? Or if master says something about an auction tell me. And then we will go to that place, Alright?” Dimitri said. Roahn wasn’t sure if the kid had gotten all, but Kit was smarter than they could see.

He already knew how to read.

“An auction? Like last time?”

Dimitri couldn’t help himself from looking down for a bit.

“Yes, Kit. Like last time. Would you do that for us?” She asked him calmly.

“Ok. I will tell you” Kit said. “Im going to sleep. Goodnight” Kit said going away.

“Wait!” Dimitri yelled, the kid turned back.

“Thanks for the blanket” Roahn said covering her and Shy.

“We love you Kit” Dimitri said. The kid didnt know how to take that and just blushed before running off.

Dimitri and her laid down again. After a moment, the woman’s arms squeezed him lightly.

“Are you sure?” Roahn asked him.

“We cant let this slip off again, Roahn” he said.

“You have changed” she told her “I remember you telling me you didnt have bad thoughts about your owners”

Dimitri embraced her stronger dipping his face into her neck.

“Ivan was all I had. And he was taken from me. He was killed by a bunch of brainless fuckers. I told myself I wouldn’t fixate on his dead. And tried to forget. But when that happened…” Roahn reached for his hand and squeezed “I knew I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I cant let this freaks fuck with us anymore. We have to go before the auction. Much more longer before that”

“Three months” Roahn said “after she’s born, three months and we will go”

“In that time I’ll have it all ready” Dimitri kissed her shoulder “I wont fail this time” he said as she smiled.

His face had a big scar that went all the way from his cheekbone to his neck.

Layo had tried to cut his carotid when they tried to escape the first time. And he almost succeeded.

The baby was born a week later. Kit was amazed by the baby’s arrival. Apparently her name was Jen. Although Kit thought how Bunnie would have had suit her better he went on. For him Dimitri was the only way of knowing how she was doing. Kit was a curious child so he would ask him lots of questions. Dimitri had received some education but many of his questions beat him. At those times he would pat him and tell him the library had a book about that day’s question they could read together.

Sometimes, when they knew there was no one in the house but them, he let Kit sit on his leg.

By now Dimitri and Roahn had to wear clothes at all times except when their genitals were required. They weren’t that used to be so covered but definitely it was warmer. And less humiliating. But the mounting…those were nights were those rules didn’t matter.

“How is Jen and Roahn?” Kit asked him.

“They’re ok. Jen is a very healthy baby. You would love her” Dimitri said.

“I would have loved if she was named Bunnie though…” the kid pouted. Dimitri laughed.

“You know my name isn’t Shy?” He said the kid opening his eyes amused.

“Then what’s your name?”

“Dimitri” He said with a bitter sweet smile. It was the name his brother had gave him. He wanted to tell him to call him dad, but right now that was too risky.

“What a pretty name! Why are you called Shy by Master then?” Kit asked. Dimitri pursed his lips together and touched his scar.

“Its a nickname”

“Nick…?”

“A name only good friends call each other”

“But you don’t like Master at all…”

“Well, some nicknames are for people you don’t like” he giggled wryly.

“Hey, Sh—Dimitri, what does “slave” mean?” The kid asked him, getting his full attention.

“Master called me that the other day when I dropped a bit of juice. I dont know if its a good nickname…” Dimitri held him strong.

“You dont need to know that Kit” he said to him “You’re a good boy ok?”

Kit thought about the many times he had been called bad things and found comforting he said that. So he hugged back.

They stayed there like that for a while.

—

At night, report.

“They havent mentioned it yet then Kit?” Dimitri asked him from the other side of the cell. Kit shook his head, his curly black hair flopping.

“Thats perfect. And what is master doing on thursday?”

“They have their cocktail party and go early” kit said. Dimitri was making mental notes.

“When do they go on their trip?” Dimitri asked him looking up.

“On sunday”

Dimitri has made his plan. Five days were a bit short but the three months had passed and he had it all ready. The few money he could slip from change. A few clothes. Tools. Food. They were ready to go.

“Kit, in Sunday I need you to do something fun. Would you grab your binoculars and tell me when they go and bring me the keys in Master’s office?”

Kit physically did a step back.

“What is it?”

“Im…not allowed there…I cant…”

“It’s ok Kit. Dont worry. Can you play explorer and tell me when they go then?” The kid shook his head vigorously. “You’re such a good kid, Kit” he revolved his hair. And gave him a candy hidden in the downside of the mat.

“Ah! Thank you Dimitri! I love you!” Kit said while hugging him through the bars. Dimitri had to be really strong to hold the tears in.

“I love you too Kit” he said watching him go off.

He stared at the ceiling unable to sleep.

How much he wished Cal and Olivia were there too. But the pain of losing them wouldn’t happen ever again.

Even if he died at it. They would go and get freedom.

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cursed-dreamss · 4 years

Text

the color of eden & dream ; a short story

an original short story by raven ryans

Love is - as countless other book characters would say - just a chemical reaction. But with Eden and me it’s more than just testosterone and estrogen. Addyson Peoria and Aron Rucynzski might disagree - but I say love is connection. Love is hope and holding on to one another. Love is finding the right people, people that make your heart sing. Love is understanding, comradery, and protectiveness. Love is communication - love is long talks and held hands. Love is messy and - and love is bold.

*** “Edes, we have lives. School, work, roommates, aspirations, lives”

“I know.”

“We can’t just stay out here forever”

“I know”

“Do you?”

“No”

***

“Edes, what happened to us? We used to be so perfect. Everything used to be so easy”

“We did. It did.”

“So what happened? You - you disappeared, Edes. Where did you go?”

“Where did I go?”

“Where did you go.” “A place I hope you never have to see.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hush, Dream. Listen to the birds. Hush. ”

***

A star. A wish. I wish for everything to go back to the way it used to be. Eden and me; unstoppable. Eden and me; laughing. Eden and me; best friends. Eden and me; kissing. Eden and me; trusting. Eden and me. Eden and me.

*** Things can never go back the way it used to be. The old Eden is dead - she died years and years ago, the moment everything went to hell. Now all that’s left is this shell; fragments of the girl I used to be. I used to smile. I used to laugh. I used to enjoy life, God I used to enjoy life. I used to love; I used to be capable of love. I used to be confident; I used to be sweet, like honey, and yet tart like the first apple off the tree - some people’s favorite type of apple, others’ least favorite. Then reality caught up. Now I don’t smile, I don’t laugh, I don’t enjoy life. I don’t love, I'm not confident, I'm not sweet. I'm rotten, like the core of an apple when you leave it out too long. Nobody’s favorite type of apple. Not even Dream’s. *** “Green is the color of the grass where I used to read-”

“No, that song is depressing.”

“HEY!”

“It is. Just the truth, Dream.”

“I know a place we could goooo”

“Also depressing”

“I know a place where there aren’t any roaaaads”

“Why does this song fit us so well?” “Where the grass is always greener”

“Green is our color”

“And doesn’t scratch your fingers”

“Well no that would just be tragic”

“I know a place” *** Eden called me. After a week of barely talking. She called me. She said I know a place we could go. I laughed. Eden knew - Eden knows - how much I love that song. No one has been there no one will know. So we left - we grabbed some edibles and left. Didn’t tell our friends. Didn’t tell anyone. Just - left. The most impulsive thing I’ve seen Eden do since high school. She was almost herself again. Almost. *** Green. Grass. Trees. Dream’s favorite sweater. The one I used to wear.

Green. Leaves. The Spotify app icon. John Green.

Green. Money. Chartreuse. What is chartreuse?

Green. Mint gum. Kale smoothies. Emeralds.

Green. Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince. Best cover. Green. The house I grew up in.

Green. Dream and I. *** “I still love you.”

“What?”

“I just wanted you to know that.”

“Oh, well, thanks, D.”

“Your welcome”

“Dream?”

“Yeah?”

“I -”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if I can love anyone.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s okay. I have enough love for both of us.” *** Dream is perfect. Everything I want, everything I need. I just wish I could love Dream as much as I used to. I loved Dream like the moon loves the sun - always and forever. But maybe always isn’t forever.

*** I am blue. Cold water, icy cliffs, deep and mysterious. Dream is yellow. Bright smiles, sunflowers, open and loving.

Put us together - we are green. Fresh leaves, rustling trees, rooted and wonderful. *** “FRUCK ITS RAINING”

“WOAH I HADN’T NOTICED” “RUN RUN RUN RUN”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING, EDEN??”

“STANDING THERE CACKLING AND SCREECHING THAT YOU’RE A STORM GODDESS” “BUT I'M RUNNING NOW”

“RUN FASTER”

***

“What happens now, Edes?”

“I dont know.”

“We’ll be fine. We got this.”

“Do we have to go back to uni?”

“We’re running out of food, so probably.”

“I don't want to, D. I want to stay here, with you, forever.”

“I used to believe in forever, but now I think forever is too short.”

“Dream Winston Grace-Riley, did you just quote Winnie The Pooh to me?”

“Eden Christine Verena, did you just catch my quoting of darling Pooh?”

“Shut up.”

“Love you too.” *** I thought Eden loved me. All this time - I thought she loved me. I still think she does, deep down. She just doesn’t know it. If she didn’t love me, why would she call me and run away deep into the woods with me? Unless Eden’s secretly an ax murderer who has a liking for theater nerds named Dream, she loves me. I don’t know how to help her realize that though. I don’t know how to help her at all. *** Dream looks at me in a way that only Dream can. With love, with tenderness, with an overwhelming amount of adoration. All I’ve ever given Dream in return was bullshit - except for the beginning. We were so free. Full of love for each other; for ourselves; for the world. Now I’m held down by the binds of society - by the binds of the Verena’s - by the binds of my own mind. Now I’m full of hate - for myself, for the world, but never for Dream.

*** I laugh. She looks at me sadly, the ghost of a thousand laughs lost on her quiet lips. I hush. She takes my hand. I blush. Six years, I still blush. She tells me she doesn’t know anything. I tell her that’s okay, that we can figure it out together. She says she doesn’t know if she can do that. I’m silent. ***

“Dream?”

“Yeah?”

“I would be nothing without you. Don’t leave me.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

***

“If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?”

“My happy place.”

“Where’s that?”

“With you, Eden. With you.” *** Eden. She’s a lot. She’s brave and compassionate and caring and practical and unique and beautiful and perfect. And best of all, she’s mine. *** “How do you still believe in magic? After everything that has happened to us - to me - how do you still believe that there’s magic?”

“I don’t, not all the time.”

“What makes you remember to believe it?”

“You. Every time I look at you, I’m a little girl again - sure that there is magic in this world.” *** Love declarations. Sweet letters. Lingering kisses. Passion. Freedom. Happiness. Turned into . . .

Unsaid adoration. Not-so-awkward silence. Distant hugs. Unknown. Lingering sadness. Shadows.

*** “I don’t wanna lose - I don’t wanna lose this with you.”

“I don’t either, Dream darling.” “Then hold on to me, Eden. Hold on to me.”

“I am.”

*** If you don’t want to lose this then try and put a little effort into this goddamn relationship. I want to scream at Eden. But I don’t. I don’t i dont’ i never do - I can't I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.

*** We should leave soon. Dream has roommates ; I have work. Dream has school ; I have work. Dream has theatre ; I have work. Dream has a life; I have work. *** “When are we going back?”

“You make it sound so ominous, D.”

“I mean, it kinda is.”

“I don’t know - we should go back - er - you should go back.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.” *** Our last night together. Ever? ***

Ever. *** I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to leave this perfect safe haven in this deep dark forest of just me and Eden. My problems checked themselves at the door the moment she called me, but I know hers came with us. Hers follow us everywhere, relentless phantoms haunting her day and night. I see them in the morning - shadows lurking just over her shoulder, forcing her to shrink under the pressure. I see them at night - floating over the moon blocking the moonlight from landing on her beautiful face. I see them everywhere. I can only imagine what it’s like for poor Eden. *** Poor Eden.

Whatever happened to poor Eden?

Some say my mom died. Poor Eden’s mother, passed away when she was only 14. Poor Eden. Some say my dad left. Did you hear? Poor Eden’s father left her and Ceelio. Poor Eden. Some say I died. Poor Mr. and Mrs. Verena - their only daughter. Dead. Poor Eden, she was so young. Some say I disappeared, never to be seen from again. Where did Eden Verena go? Nobody knows. She’s gone. Poor Eden. They are all true, and yet all false at the same time. My mother died - and yet she is still alive. My father left - and yet he is still around. I died - and yet I am still alive. I disappeared - and yet I am here, with Dream, deep in this forest. *** The morning I left was crisp, bright, birds singing, sun shining. It matched my mood. It did not match Eden’s. *** “So. We’re leaving today, Edes.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“What’s going to happen to us?”

“I don’t know. You have a life - you tell me.”

“You have a life too, Edes.”

“Oh really?”

“Me. You have me, Eden Christine Verena.”

“I do.” *** Dream’s leaving. I am not. *** “Look! Its civilization! Edes, oh my gosh look look look it's a TOW TRUCK!”

“It is indeed, D. Good observation.”

“Come onnnn lets gooooo we have to get back to campus!”

“You go on, I want a minute just me and the forest.”

“Okayyy. I’ll meet you down at the gas station, okay?”

*** I never met her down at the gas station. She never came. I waited and waited - for nearly four hours. I told myself she had gotten lost, I told myself she had fallen asleep, I told myself she cared. I ran back into the forest. I searched and searched. I could not find her. Eden Verena was simply gone. *** Eden Verena had been gone for years, but no one had noticed. Every day I bled a little more until the cut that always bleeds had no blood left to spill. Until I had no blood left to spill. Then I disappeared for real - forever. *** I never let her go completely. Every day I go down to the gas station and wait for Eden - Eden Eden Eden, my one true love, my source of happiness, my everything. She never comes. *** Dream has to let me go. I know Dream will - eventually. I will fade away until I’m nothing but a distant memory. Oh, Eden? Ha yeah, just an ex of mine. But Dream will never fade away to me. Dream is always - Dream is forever. Even if I’m not. *** My happy place. I told her she was my happy place. I told her I loved her, that I was there for her, that I was hers. I told her over and over again. I didn’t tell her enough. I didn’t do enough. I could have saved her - but no. I tried - I tried, I tried I tried but I didn’t try hard enough. *** Nothing Dream did or said could have saved me. I was too far gone. *** I will love Eden Verena till the end of my days, even if she didn’t love me until the end of hers. *** Goodbye, Dream. I should have said goodbye a long time ago. But I’m saying it now. Goodbye. I - I love you. I loved you. *** All things green die at some point. Grass, trees, leaves, Eden and Dream. They all die at some point - and maybe some point is now.

#raven ryans #ravenryanswrites #the color of eden and dream #original story #drabble #short story #realistic fiction #romance #love #gay #eden verena #dream grace-riley #raven atarah's writing adventures #[ short story ]

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rosebloodcat · 4 years

Text

More Android Gordon Chatting

As previously stated, I really like Robot/Android AUs, and I tend to go pretty crazy with AUs in general when I come up with them. So here’s part 2 of my Android Gordon/DBH AU rambling over Discord with @lady-lampblack

RoseBloodCat: Random Android Gordo thought: He can't have a dick-slip because, as a Nanny/Housekeeping model, he has no dick.

Gordon is either on the edge of his seat or completely unaware of the Android Rights stuff going on in Detroit. It depends on when the Resonance Cascade happens. If it's before it then he'll probably be following it all on the news. But if it's during then he wouldn't know about it until after. Both could be interesting depending on which one is used.

If he's at Tommy's house when it's going on, he's probably hyper focused on what's going on and what the reactions of the humans are. And how the police/government are responding. Because that would be something he'd feel really strongly about as a Deviant-in-Hiding. He'd be anxious to know if he could legally be seen as a person, or if he had to continue his charade of being Tommy's housekeeper/pet sitter.

However, it happening at the same time as the Resonance Cascade could be super interesting/surprising too. Since he wouldn't know it had happened until he got out, and would have been blindsided by it all. He'd need to adjust to being freethinking for the first time in his life and actually being able to act on those thoughts and feelings without (major) repercussions.

It's like, do we give him the chance to adjust first? Let he learn how to deal with emotions and trauma first? Or do we have him speed-run his freedoms and emotions now that he isn't just another robot?

the gay (mango): I feel like him coming out of the rescas with the detroit riots happening while hes inside

I mean

A lot of bots are gonna have to break their programming with the aliens popping in everywhere unless the rescas is only centralized in black mesa

RoseBloodCat: True! Very true.

That would end up as a bit of a mix between the 2 options then, Gordon coming out of Black Mesa and being offered a place to stay with Tommy as the final clean-up from the Alien invasion is finished.

And then the news of the Android Freedom/Civil Rights movement appearing in Detroit and that tons of other androids had gone deviant under the stresses and couldn't just... Go back to the lives they'd had before.

Too much had happened to just sweep the fallout under the rug.

Plus, you know, there's possibility that Black Mesa's involvement got leaked so there's the fallout from that too, along with a good portion of them trying to cover up/refuse a thorough investigation into why it happened. Because shit like that can't happen without someone having to take responsibility.

Especially if it got out that they had used a Daycare Android in their Highly Dangerous alien testing. And that's not even getting into the trouble they'd find themselves in if the rest of their unethical science was discovered.

They might be able to partially cover/fix that by letting Tommy take Gordon as a Housekeeper, since they could then say that they'd "Gotten Rid" of the Android involved in the test. (Same idea as firing/relocating/dismissing a Scientist who'd screwed something up)

They'd probably try to avoid names too, just to further cover their asses.

the gay (mango): Not to mention the fact that the majority of the staff died from both aliens and government asses

RoseBloodCat: Ye

Pretty easy to cover up because of that tbh.

With most of the staff dead, it's pretty easy to just go "Unfortunately, most of the scientists and androids in charge of the tests that day were killed in the ensuing chaos from both the invasion and the military's attempts to fight back."

"Sadly, we may not be able to reopen or continue our work due to the losses suffered."

the gay (mango): So black mesa could claim the android involved didn't make it out

RoseBloodCat: Yeah, so long as they don't mention his name or android number, Gordon could get away (mostly) scott free.

the gay (mango): If someone asks for specifics black mesa can claim that records were lost and/or not recorded

RoseBloodCat: Yup.

I should draw Android Gordon sometime. Like, each version of him that would (possibly) be in the story/AU

Clean/Pre-test (in his uniform before the Testing shit), Post Test (Messed up clothes, possibly with Blood spatter) After Escape, (Clean Uniform, but now with accents that show he's not quite a normal Android anymore) and After Revolution (Where he's actually wearing normal clothes and is able to ditch his uniform)

the gay (mango): Does android lose his arm?

RoseBloodCat: I've been debating on that. Like It could be a good point to show that something is going haywire on the outside in regards to Androids, (or them just being dicks) Or they could not do that and just... Be awful.

the gay (mango): I mean androids are p looked down on in dbh even before the revolution

RoseBloodCat: Yeah...

the gay (mango): So soldiers beating up and dismembering a random black mesa android? P in line w the universe

RoseBloodCat: Honestly? It really is. Black Mesa just seems like a magnet for assholes (with, like, a handful of exceptions) My brain is bouncing between Androids and Splatoon while I'm on shift. Plez send halp Or ideas. Whichever.

the gay (mango): I dont splatoon sorry

RoseBloodCat: Android thoughts are welcome too.

the gay (mango): What does coomer count as with his cyber limbs?

RoseBloodCat: Cyborg. Since he started out human and was augmented with tech.

the gay (mango): Fair But in a world of androids how is he viewed

RoseBloodCat: Probably as just... A human with fancy prosthetics.

the gay (mango): Fair What does bubby think of the annoying babysitter being an android?

RoseBloodCat: Not much at first. He knows Gordon's there to help with test, but probably thinks a human should be the one doing it an not the Nannybot from Daycare. But it's more from a professional stand point than a "I don't like Androids" one. Gordon doesn't have a degree in any field of research after all.

the gay (mango): Fair

RoseBloodCat: But it probably came off as that at first. When the test went kooky and he started out blaming Gordon for it. He was complaining about Gordon not doing it right and messing up the test, but he meant that it was because he wasn't educated for these things and not because he was an Android. But Gordon probably takes it to mean that. (That can be used for a comfort attempt from Bubby later, possible when someone points out that it sounded like Bubby hated androids or something.)

the gay (mango): Gordon juat feeling alienated cause bubby is an ass

RoseBloodCat: "I wasn't pissed because you were an Android, I was pissed because you weren't... Made to do this stuff? You're a fucking... Nanny, not a... Research bot..." Just- awkward comfort attempt.

The Flower (Lili): :') love that

the gay (mango): Bonding momence

RoseBloodCat: Coomer and Tommy probably also said something to the effect of "An android shouldn't do this test." Too, but they were so friendly at the same time that it hit differently. Bobby's an ass, but Gordon didn't really notice that he's like that for everyone not just him.

the gay (mango): whos bobby Gordon is a child handler, he takes everything personally

RoseBloodCat: XD (Also, auto correct is awful whenever I try to write these names.)

the gay (mango): Honestly that's part of why i banished my autocorrect to the shadow realm

RoseBloodCat: Lol

#half life vr but the ai is sef aware #hlvrai #detroit become human #dbh #crossover #half life vr become human #hlvrbh #android gordon #robot gordon #gordon freeman

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adorable-american · 4 years

Text

In Denial pt2

Is in denial even two separate words? I suck at making titles.

Disclaimer: I dont own hetalia or its characters.

Ukus. Experienced! Arthur x naive! America

R18

Don't like, don't read.

After the lunch break America felt like he had a lot on his mind about last night and what he had been told this morning. Last night had basically been the first time that he'd ever gotten drunk with his friends, even if it was unintentional. And he had already been robbed of the insecurity that someone would do that to him. He now felt like he could never drink alone should he have wanted to, but that wasn't the only thing he had almost been robbed of. Thinking of it was making him sick now and he was trying anything he could to distract himself. From clicking his pen to tapping it, bouncing his leg to drumming his fingers. Nothing was really helping and everyone was becoming annoyed of him. That was apparent after being shushed and silenced each time. Finally he just excused himself and went to the restroom. He wasn't sure why he went there but he did. Grabbing the edge of the sink he just stared at himself in the mirror with discontent. Splashing cool water on his face in another fatal attempt to calm down.

"Would you like to go for a walk? Fresh air may do you some good." England had slipped into the bathroom to check on the American, knowing he wasn't ok.

"Sure, that sounds great."

England walked with America for quiet a bit until they found a little outdoor café. "Coffee?" The Englishman asked, wanting to stop and have a serious talk.

"Ooh! Yes, please!" America drifted towards the tables, finding a table for two and sitting themselves before a waitress came over.

"I'll have an London Fog." England requested.

"Uhm, just a black coffee for me. Thank you." America said before turning his attention to England. "Ok, so, I have something important to ask of you."

"Oh? Ok, ask." England encouraged him, still hoping Alfred could finally be admitting his affections. The way he was so nervous and squirming made it obvious it was a very personal question.

"So... last night-" America began recounting how he now felt about last night to England, how he felt robbed of so many little freedoms. "But there is one thing that the person almost took from me. Something very important- my virginity." America finally said it. He felt like he had already admitted it to himself but saying it now, telling that to another. He didn't feel a reprieve but instead he felt heavier with that information.

"Oh... Alfred." England paused as the waitress returned with their orders.

"Wait, I'm not finished." America interrupted. He didn't want Arthur's pity... or did he? He wasn't sure anymore. As the waitress left he continued, "So, my question to you is- would you be the one to help me get rid of my v-card?"

England choked on his drink. "What?!"

America folded his arms as he did when becoming defensive. Shrugging his shoulders up he began to curl in on himself. England could see him shutting down.

"Alfred, please, explain to me how you almost being raped, led to the conclusion that we should have sex? Forgive me for not understanding." England used America's human name when in public and right now, America wasn't sure he liked hearing it, it ringing a bell that they used their human names last night too. And a strange blurry figure talking to him using his name.

"Please! Don't call me that." America was losing his peace. He wanted to run away from here and never return.

"Hey, I'm sorry. It's ok, Ame." England spoke softly, switching easily to the nickname. Laying his hand on the table he had his palm open his fingers spread open like he was waiting for something.

America slowly gave England his hand, calming down as England started rubbing circles on the back of his hand and clasping America's one hand with both of his.

America sighed. "England, for me, giving up my virginity is my right. I want to choose that, I want my first time to be with someone special. I've like you for quite some time and you are always here for me." America paused looking England in the eye then down to their hands. America squeezed England's hand a little to prove his point. "I'm not deciding this out of fear if that's what you're thinking, I'm doing this for me." America finished the thought, returning his gaze to England's.

"Then yes, I will do it for you and only for you. But please, if at any point you change your mind do not feel like you have to do it. You are also allowed to change your mind and keep waiting for as long as you want." England spoke, hoping that the younger man might actually change his mind but he didn't react. England just sighed hoping he would at least think about it.

"So, Ame, I have an important question for you then." England inhaled and exhaled slowly before looking up to see the curious blue eyes in front of him. Eyebrows knit together wonderinf what he could be asked. England smiled at how cute he looked, hiding his smile however, thinking the timing a bit inappropriate. "So, America, I really like you a lot and I want to be here for you. I want to help you in every way possible but if you will allow me, I would like to be more than your friend. I would like for us to be together, as a couple?"

"Yes."America said without hesitation.

*******

Leaving the cafe together England invited America to continue their walk and sight see the city a little more. To which America agreed and took England's hand, they maybe it was America's lack of awareness or England's lack of attention to take things slow but they acted like any long term couple, holding hands, taking pictures with the gorgeous scenery and monuments. They got pictures kissing each other, America kissing England's cheek, and even one of England dipping America back for a passionate kiss. In just several hours it was like they'd been doing it for years. Until it came time to return back to the hotel. The closer they got to the hotel the more and more warmer America felt. His cheeks flushing red. England didn't notice as the sun sank and the street lights came on with the bluish hues. The night just as romantic as the day, if not more. Still trying to impress his new boyfriend the englishman soon heard a violinist playing on the sidewalk and he twirled America around, bowing to him and asking for this dance. All around people were awing and smiling at the action. America smiled nervously and took England's hand.

"It's ok, I'll lead. Just follow my step." He whispered into his ear and soon enough they fell into rhythm together.

And so they danced, America did his best to keep up with England but he stumbled and lost his footing a few times, tripping both of them up. England just smiled and laughed. Continuing the dance and trying his best to help America. England's laugh was contagious, America couldn't help but laugh too.

Soon the song ended, the violinst took a bow. Everyone who had been watching tossed notes into the violin case, including America. They continued their walk happy and still laughing at themselves.

*******

Entering England's hotel room he turned to America. "Do you want to shower first or maybe go get anything from your room?"

America hesitated. "Am I staying with you tonight?" He asked, mouth going dry.

"Well, I just assumed you would but you don't have too." England squatted down by his suitcase, pulling out lubricant and condoms from the inside pocket.

"Ah, yeah, I'd like too, I'll go get my night clothes and my suit for tomorrow." America said as he exited the room.

"You probably won't need-" England started but was cut off by the door clicking shut. Letting out a sigh he wished America would change his mind about this but he also wished that he wouldn't. Waiting patiently he went to turn the water on for America. Once the water was hot and steam escaped the bathroom England decided to just take one and go to bed, assuming America had changed his mind and probably didn't have the nerves to come tell him. He checked his phone once more. "It shouldn't take 10 mins to grab clothes." He spoke out loud. He hated how sad he felt that America didn't return but it was probably for the best.

Drying himself off, England stepped ouf of the bathroom to find America sitting on the edge of the bed. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and arms wrapped around them as he rested his chin against his knee. "I didn't think you'd come back." Arthur said tucking his towel against his waist and moving over to the American.

"Sorry, I took a minute." America said putting his legs down.

England's lips started to twitch up into a smirk as he straddled the younger blonde's lap. "Or were you primping for me?"

America's face turned bright red, even his ears tinged red with embarrassment.

"How cute!" England kissed him, tasting the peppermint toothpaste that America used, and intentionally ruffling up America's brushed hair so that it looked more fluffy. "Your hair looks sexier like this."

Unbuttoning the top few buttons of America's dress shirt, England pushed the shirt open and let his hand roam over America's chest and shoulders. Pushing the shirt's collar away England kissed America's neck, letting his warm breath make the younger nation shiver. England quickly switched to using his teeth, leaving bite marks on America. Switching again to his lips he sucked America's sensitive skin, nipping and licking the area until little purple bruises formed.

America moaned and groaned, wrapping his arms around Britain's neck and pulled him closer. He could feel himself becoming hot under England's touch.

Feeling satisfied with the numerous markings England left on America he finally traveled downward, undoing America's shirt completely. He smirked deviously as he thought about taking America's clothing off like wrapping paper on a present and was trying so hard not to rip America's clothes off.

Shrugging his shirt off America tugged at the hem of England's shirt, "you too." He spoke, his voice quiet.

England smirked as he sat upright taking his shirt off quickly, tossing it to the floor as he let his hands cup America's face, kissing him hard and pushing him down onto the mattress. America's head rolled back at an odd angle without support from a pillow.

America brought a leg up as he tried to push himself up to the pillows, but as he did he felt England's hardened member press against his thigh. Once fixed against the pillows he reached down and undone England's suit pants.

Feeling his pants become less restrictive England pulled America's belt from its place, undoing America's clothing much faster than America could remove England's. Left with just his boxers on he was quick to grab America by his wrists. "I know you want to reciprocate but not now. Tonight is all about you, Love." England kissed America's knuckles. Once America was completely naked and shivering from the cold England let each of America's hands clench tightly in his own individual hands. He lowered his mouth to America's already leaking member. Starting from the base he licked all the way up to America's head. Illiciting a loud gasp from the younger.

America could feel his stomach in knots, heat rising in his cheeks and his nerves feeling white hot with tension. The one action from England wound him up tightly. He felt like he was going to explode already. "Ah! England!~" he shouted, his hands sweating against England's, toes curling in the sheets before he hooked one leg around England's waist.

England couldn't help but chuckle. "You are so adorable." He said smirking, placing a kiss too America's tip. "I forgot how little it takes for a virgin."

America's eyes were closed but he could hear England smiling and laughing, he could feel him wink as he poked fun of the American. "Shut up!" America squeezed his hands. Reminding England that he could break his hand with just a little more pressure.

"Ah! What the hell!?" England jerked his hands back.

"Don't make fun of me!" America pouted.

England's voice became snide as he rubbed lube into his hands. "And don't you forget who is in control of you right now." England was a bit possessive when it came to his lovers but America might make him worse, especially considering how long he has admired the sunshiny blonde underneath him. Pressing a finger into America's entrance as he made his point ,the young nation arched his back so high and quick off the bed that England lost his hold and fell back.

America cried out in pain and pleasure. He felt confused. "That hurt!"

"Really? Then why'd you moan?" England teased, pushing his finger in again, slowly moving and stretching America's hole.

"Fuck off... oh!~" America grumbled before England pressed into him again, making him moan again.

England was quick to add a second finger and lastly the third. Making America squirm under him.

Returning his free hand to America's cock, he stroked the young blond.

Once England felt that it was time he warned America, making sure the young nation was still wanting to go through with this.

"Gosh, please just do me already!" America spoke irritatedly. He was feeling so good from what England was doing but the constant reassuring was getting a bit on his nerves.

England rolled his eyes as he pulled his fingers out.

America whined. England finally tugged his boxers down, America looked down at England's full member. Swallowing a lump in his throat when he realized how much girth the brit had.

England steadied himself with one hand using the other to keep America still and in place. He started to push in. America groaned in pain, his hands clenching in the sheets under himself.

England didn't stop until he was all the way in. "Ame, I'm in, are you ok?"

America hesitated. "Y-yeah."

"Ok, I'm going to move." England warned. Slowly pulling himself back before thrusting in. America wS tense and tight around him. He moved slowly, allowing America to adjust and get more comfortable with the feeling.

As America began to relax and England resumed to stroke him off. It didn't take the Englishman long to find America's G-spot. "Aw fuck! There! Emgland! Ah~" America practically screamed with pleasure.

Quickening his pace both inside of America and around his cock Ameeica came without warning. With a few more thrusts in America's quivering body England came as well.

Pulling himself out he brought his soiled hand to his lips, tasting America's seed.

"Gross." America huffed from exhaustion.

"Don't say that, you taste good.~" England winked. "You do realize this is normal to do right?"

America stayed silent. Causing the British to laugh even more at him.

"Come, darling. Let's go clean up." England resigned. Not wanting to explain or convince America more on the subject. "You are bleeding and probably going to be hurting so let's hurry and take care of you." England said pulling America to his feet. Leading him to the shower.

After they showered England cleaned the sheets up best he could before retiring to bed. Wrapping his arms around America's waist and pressing his nose into America's fresh clean hair he cuddled up to America's back. "I love you, Ame." England said to the snoring idiot.

#ukus #hetalia ukus #aph america #aph england

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kate-read-that · 4 years

Text

Sidney had taken the chance to read her father's files when the fight started, and her careful attention shifted. To be fair, it wasn't much of a fight, because everyone knew dad would win, but her sister still put some resistance, which was why Sidney loved her so much. Sometimes it looked like she could almost win. Of course, that didn't last long.

_He's a brute and an arrogant idiot. I don't want to spend more time with him than strictly necessary -Carly yelled, with her body squared for battle.

_You've already ashamed me enough by rejecting to be an alchemist and choosing to live like an irresponsible teenager. He's invited you, and his father is one of the most important alchemists in the world; -their father's words, as always, didn't give a chance to answer- you'll be charmant and he'll have a good time, and that's it.

At that point, Carly looked at her mother for help. Sidney knew it was vain hope, but she looked at her as well. Their mom was as pretty as Carly, but she looked more tired than the older sister ever had.

_Why don't we compromise? Carly goes to a date with the boy, but if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to repeat.

At that, both looked at her with a fury that was common. Sidney knew they would scream again so she took her dad's files and left the room. She knew she shouldn't read them, but she was curious about her future job, even if her father punished her later.

The fight finished with Carly running up the stairs crying, followed by a bang and her mother's sigh.

A few days later Sidney saw Carly get dressed with teary eyes while she searched for something to say that would make her sister feel better.

_ It's only a date. You won't have to go out with him again if you dont like it.

Carly huffed. Both of them hated that guy, Keith. He had spent the summer with them it had been a nightmare. The way he walked, like he owned the very floor he stepped on. How he looked at them, like they were innocent children and he was a wise adult, even when he was Carly's age. And that stupid wink that made Sidney want to hit him in the face with the thickest dictionary she could find. The chances of a second date were slim.

_It doesn't matter. If i say I don't want to see him again dad will make life impossible for me until he finds a new young alchemist to pressure me with. I can't wait to go to collegue and get the hell out of here.

_Dad knows? -Sidney loved her sister, but even though she liked studying for alchemist, she sometimes envied the freedom Carly had. She envied a lot of things from Carly, like how beautiful she was, or how delicate, or how the boys always looked at her with dreamy eyes. But she loved her over all of it, because she always stood up to dad when Sidney was terrified of even talking.

_ No need. Mom knows and she promised she wouldnt tell. And i got a good scholarship, so i don't need much money. Just a few more months... -Carly finished buttoning up her dress and twirled, looking like a magazine star. At first, she had wanted to wear jeans and a tshirt, but dad's look had made her reconsider.

_I'll miss you -Sidney's voice sounded offly quiet, so much her sister turned around and hugged her. They didn't hug much at home, but it was nice.

_I'll come visit all the time, and maybe you'll come visit at some point! I have to go, it's almost time and if I'm late dad will try to get me in a second date or something -and with a toll of eyes, she left.

..............

Sidney woke up to the sound of screams in the living room. She looked at the clock and saw it was well oast midnight. Seconds later, her sister came in banging the door and got in the bathroom without even looking at her.

Sidney got up quietly and knocked on the door, asking her sister if she needed something. She got no answer, and after trying again twice she opened the door softly, and gasped.

Carly was sitting in the shower, which was on, totally dressed. Her perfect makeup was messed up and her pretty hair barely retained the elegant bun she had had a few hours ago.

_What happened? -Sidney barely recognised her own voice.

_No...thing. Go to bed...Sidney-she could barely understand her sister with the constant crying, but she turned off the shower and brought her a towel.

_No! I... I have to clean it! -Carly screamed, turning it on again and rubbing herself with a sponge all over.

_You just need to wash your face but that can wait until tomorrow -Sidney started helping her sister get undressed, not sure about what was going on. Dad would be so mad about the dress, it was a Christmas present.

That's when she saw the bruises.

Her sister's tan skin was covered in bruises in some parts, like her hips or her thighs. It looked painful and Sidney had no idea where those came from, but her sister seemed to cry even harder when she saw them.

_You don't understand, Sidney. He... he... -Carly didn't try to talk again after that, too impacted to say anything. Sidney didn't fully understand what was going on but she could tell it was horrible.

It took Sidney half an hour to get her undressed and in bed, and another half an hour to get her calm. Luckily, her parents were already asleep because there were no other sounds in the house.

_He took me to a restaurant. I said i had never drunk alcohol, but he ordered wine anyway and promised me I'd like it. I didnt want him to tell dad I had been rude, so i took some -her voice was even quieter than Sidney's, who laid by her side absolutely quiet and listening.

_Is Dad mad about the alcohol? -she tried to guess, confused. But that wouldn't explaim the bruises... maybe they had an accident in the car?

_No... no he's mad because I said I dont want to see him ever again. And because my make up is ruined and he said there was no way I'd catch a man if i ended dates crying.

Many times Sidney disliked her dad, but there were some times she really, really hated him.

_But why are you crying?

_Oh, Sidney... you dont... you dont understand... he took me to another place later, in the middle of nowhere. I wanted to go outside and walk but he said it was too cold. I was really tired and a little dizzy with the wine so I agreed. And then he... he started kissing me.. and i tried to push him away but he was so strong... -after that Carly cried so much there was no way of getting more information of her.

But it was no needed. Sidney knew what sex was, their mom had talked a lot about sex and consent and consequences with them. Bruises made sense now. Keith had...Sidney felt the bile rise inside her as her sister screamed of shame and pain against the pillow.

Out if nowhere, a wave of rage filled Sidney filling her body. He, that idiot with that stupid wink and that arrogant smile, had hurt her sister, her beautiful, delicate, intelligent and sweet sister. How dared him. How dared him even think about hurting Carly like that. They were alchemists, saviors of the humankind that worked to help the human race and protect them. What he'd done was... but there would be consequences.

_We'll tell Dad. If he knows what happened, he'll make sure Keith gets punished. You're Carly Sage. Your father is one of the most famous alchemists in the world. There's no way dad will let anyone do that to you and walk away -Sidney gritted her teeth just thinking of it. How could he? For once, their father's rage would be good for something.

_I'll never tell dad, or mom for what matters.

_What? Why, for the love of...

_Because he wouldn't believe me, Sid. Dad loves Keith, more than us anyway. He's always wanted a son and Keith is everything he could want. He will never admit it and dad will always believe the perfect boy over us. Besides, imagine what he'd say about me now-her sister sounded... deflated. She looked so tired she almost looked like their mother. She trembled when she said his name, but she didn't look totally alive.

Sidney wanted to scream, because she knew her sister was right. Even if they convinced her dad, which was almost impossible, Carly was no longer a virgin. Dad would lose gus mind and acuse her of ashaming the family name, even if it had been against her will.

_But we have to tell someone! Mom will...

_Mom will tell us to tell Dad, because he fixes everything apparently. She can't help us because she's not an alchemist, Sidney. Look, it doesn't matter, okay? All I want is to sleep and forget today happened.

She closed her eyes and finnally succumbed, the crying had worn her down so much she didn't move in the whole night.

But Sidney didn't sleep, too filled with rage and hurt for her poor sister to do so. Instead, she thought. She searched through her brain over and over from a thousand different angles until she found a way. A way to get justice. Or, as her favourite authors would call it, vengeance. She had a plan.

............

Two weeks later, she stood before Abrahan Mazur in a very luxurious looking club at 11 am. Getting her father's office key, checking the archives and finding what she had read a few months ago took a lot of effort, but going to the library and then scaping to take a bus to the city? Every step Sidney took, part of her expected her father to appear out of nowhere.

The club had seemed closed, but the documents said he would be inside already, even if there was still some sunlight, handling his "businesses". Sidney had wanted to turn around and leave, but whenever she thought of Keith's wink and her sister cries her determination grew stronger.

_Well, I've got to admit I'm surprised. A young alchemist was the last thing I expected when I got up today -Zmey smiled with a ladine expression while he looked at her. His fangs made Sidney tremble and every single piece of information she knew about Moroi appeared in her mind frantically.

They drink blood.

They aren't alive.

They can control your mind.

They want to condemn you.

They aren't human.

But Sidney was smart. She had considered all possibilities, and this was the only way. Human police could do nothing agaisnt alchemists, and alchemists would not lay a finger on Keith. So she had to seek help from someone who didn't fear Alchemists.

_How did you know I...? -she had covered her mark with her sister's make up before coming as precaution.

_Oh, please. I can smell one of you from the other side of the road Ms...

_Sage. Sidney Sage -if he already knew what she was, hiding her name had no sense.

_Perhaps related to the famous alchemist?

_He's... my father -and he would kill me if he saw me now.

_Well, now that's a surprise. What could I possibly do for you, Sidney? I doubt your influential father needs something from me, and if he did he wouldn't send ymhis beloved daughter, I'm sure.

_I've heard you... do favours. In exchange for things -very loquacious, Sidney. Zmey seemed to think the same thing, but didn't express it out loud. Just smiled with those horrid fangs again.

_That's true, but I'm not sure what kind of thing I could do for you.

This is it.

_I want you to punish someone.

The guardians of Zmey Mazur, who had been still like sculptures until that moment, suddenly looked at her, surprised. Even Mazur seemed a little baffled, which made Sidney feel safer for some reason. But Mazur composed himself quickly.

_Punish? I guess you dont mean telling off someone?

_No, not like that. He's done something horrible, and he's got to pay -she could hear her own voice get lower with rage, and could see Mazur getting more and more interested with every word.

_I thought you alchemists had your own justice system -Mazur arched his brow, crossing his hands on the table. Sidney swallowed and tried to keep calm as her feelings tried to jump out.

_My... people can't handle it. The crime can't be proven and even if it could, the person I'm talking about belongs to a very important alchemist family. You must know, you'd anger very dangerous people.

The elegant vampire laughed at that.

_No one's more dangerous than I am, Ms Sage. And I'm not scared of a few god-fearing humans. Is this person's family more important than yours?

-Yes, that's why I need to hire you. I cant pay you right away but as soon as I'm off age I can...

_I have enough money, I got no interest in more, specially if you can give me something else. Depends on how bad his crime was.

_What... do you want then? And what he did is... not important.

_It is important, there are a thousand ways I could punish him. Think about it, you'll only have one chance.

Sidney thought about it. Whenever she'd planned this, she hadn't thought of something specific, she just wanted him to pay, to be sorry, to...

_I want him to suffer. Every day of his life, I want him to see himself in the mirror and feel as horrid as he is. I want him so destroyed he can never harm another person again without thinking about the possible repercussions. And I want him to never feel confident enough to hurt someone again- Silent followed her. She had known she was angry, but the extent of her anger scared her a little. She discovered, with a little worry, that she was sorry she couldn't hurt him herself like she had just said-. His name is Keith Darnell.

Mazur stayed quiet for some minutes before smiling again.

_I know the Darnell family. I think I can do this for you, if you do something for me in exchange.

Sidney expected to pay money, which her family had, not to do something for her. But she couldnt back down now, and even if she could, she wouldn't. Carly deserved it, she was worth it.

_What?

_Oh, not yet. You see, I prefer to keep favours in case I ever need them, and when time comes I'll ask you to do something for me, and you'll accept-Mazurs smile shone again, giving her chills-no matter what it is. Deal?

Mazur outstretched his hand, waiting.

She didnt want to, she couldn't do it. She wasn't brave and she never went against the rules. If her dqther found out... There's no way-

_Deal.

She said it. And as she shook Mazur's hand, she knew exactly what a deal with the Devil felt like.

.........

Sidney waited days. Then weeks. She thought Mazur had been joking, that he wasn't going to risk it for the possibility of getting a favour from her. She had started fearing not having alternative solutions by the time that phone call happened.

They were in the kitchen again, eating dinner quietly. Carly had finally left her bedroom and Zoe was happily playing with her food when the phone rang. Her father, of course, picked it up.

His face suddenly turned white, followed by an angry red Sidney knew well. Part of Sidney's mind sang: he knows what you did, he knows you talked to Mazur... but when his father turned around, he didn't look at Sidney, she looked at all of them.

_Its Keith... he's... he's been attacked by strigoi.

Sidney's mom silenced a scream with her hands and immediately took Zoe as if to protect her. Carly just paled as much as her father, and closed her eyes. Sidney felt like everyone was watching her as she tried to sound surprised.

_What? What's happened? -she really hoped her voice didn't sound as plastic as she heard it.

Her father turned to look at her a few seconds, but hopefully he was too astounded to realise she was trembling.

_I can't... I knew they were cruel but this... it's... he's just a young man, it was totally.... they didn't even drain him of blood...

_Dad, what happened? -Sidney knew insisting was not the best way to seem innocent, but she needed to know, needed ro make sure he had paid. She found herself feeling excited about knowing how had he paid.

_His... eye. They cut... his eye... out. He's lost his eye. The poor boy... Of course, the alchemists will give him a new glass one but...

Sidney's mom screamed again and started crying, covering Zoe's ears. Carly left running and, by the sounds of it, puking in the nearest bathroom. Sidney got up from the table and went upstairs, not even needing to fake shock.

His eye. Abraham Mazur took Keith's eye out. She immediately thought of Keith's damn wink and how handsome everyone said he was. They wouldn't think the same thing again. Sidney shot out a laugh.

She covered her mouth, looking around to check no one had heard her. She felt like a terrible person, at least for a few seconds. But she couldn't help it. She had to lock herself in a bathroom and turn the shower on because she just couldn't stop laughing. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to stop the laugher coming from inside her.

His eye. His eye was gone. He'd never wink again, and whenever he saw himself in a mirror, he'd remember the pain and the fear. Sidney kept laughing until the tears overpowered her, and then she stopped and thought she'd do whatever Mazur asked of her. Anything.

#by me #sidney sage #keith darnell #abraham mazur #i said id do it and i did it #alchemists #vampire academy #va #zmey

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