#i dont want to say hes just wrong about everything because i definitely did say some dumb shit in the last few months | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovingmattysposts · 4 months

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You dont know me 5

P1 P2 P3 P4 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17 P18 P19 P20 P21 P22 P23 P24 P25 P26 P27 P28 P29 P30 P31 P32

pairing: y/n and chris sturniolo

summary: you and Chris came from two different sides of the spectrum when it came to the social scale. You had the perfect life, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect parents, but when you start to peal back that layers things got messy. Your life was set and stone, your future was set and stone. That was until he comes and changes everything.

warnings: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM! Just mentions seeing it, i do NOT go into detail of it or it happening,

It was now after school and I paced back and forth in my bedroom, not knowing what to do. I was still shaken up from my experience with Nate in the parking lot, but I knew I had to speak to Chris. I couldn't text him, I didn't have his number. I could just show up at his house, but that's just straight creepy. I couldn't talk to him at school, clearly. I fell onto my bed. What do I do?

After about an hour I decided I couldn't stand it anymore. I grabbed my phone and my shoes and walked out of my balcony and climbed down my tree. I had to see him. I had to fix this. I don't give a damn how I look just showing up at his house. I have to get to the bottom of this.

It was a little past 4:30 as I started to walk down the street. I looked down at my feet as I walked. Trying to think about what to say. How to apologize without knowing fully what I did wrong. It was eating me alive.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the same, pale white house. I sighed looking around before walking up the steps. This time I looked from side to side to see if he was hiding on the porch again. He wasn't. It was empty. I looked up at the sky, cursing myself at how psycho I was about to look. I didn't want him to question me.

Why do you care so much?

Don't you have a boyfriend to worry about?

The truth was, I didn't know why I cared so much. Why I seeked his approval so much. I bit my lip as I closed my eyes and knocked quickly on the door and stepped back. I blinked at the door. I heard no movement from inside.

I tapped my foot on the front porch harder as time passed. I started losing hope of someone answering the door the longer I stood there. Should I knock again? No I shouldn't knock again, that's weird. What am I doing? I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head.

Suddenly the door opened slowly. I stood back up straighter as the door opened. I expected to see Chris's brown hair and but instead an older man showed his face and furrowed his eyebrows when his eyes landed on mine. My face turned red.

"Why hello young lady, can I help you?" He asked looking at me. He was an older man, not a fragile old man, but definitely too old to be Chris's father. I took a deep breath and nodded. He smiled at me. "Uh" I said looking down at my feet.

"Is Chris home? I really need to talk to him" I said quickly looking up at the man. He just looked at me for a second. He turned and looked inside before turning back to me. "Uh no, Chris isn't home yet. He normally takes Nate to hockey practice after school so he doesn't get home until after 5" The man explained. Defeat filled me. I looked down and nodded. Of course he does. That selfless piece of shit.

I looked up at the man and briefly smiled. "Oh alright, well I'm sorry for bothering you then" I said as I started to turn away. "You can come wait inside if you'd like. He should be home any minute" The man said stopping me. I looked back at him. I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I'll just talk to him another time" I said not wanting to intrude on this poor mans home because I needed to apologize to Chris. He shook his head.

"No I insist, please come in" He said opening the door wider so I could come inside. I just looked at him as he motioned me inside. I sighed before looking at the road and then at the door. If I wasn't so desperate I would turn and walk away. But the thought of Chris being angry with me was something I couldn't live with for another 24 hours.

I walked through the door. "Thank you" I said as I walked inside. The inside was nice. There was a living room and a small kitchen next to it. There was a lounge chair right in front of a tv I think was 50 years old. I smiled at the house. Nice, Simple, grandma's-house vibes. It felt like home.

My house felt like a business office with how many people were in and out of there. The amount of pictures that were perfectly lined on the walls and even some of the cabinets in the kitchen that were labeled 'don't touch' made me feel like my house was a walking museum, much less a home. I think the only room I was allowed to touch was my own, and that was after my mother ripped down my posters and hung framed ones that read designer brands because they 'looked more classy'.

I turned and looked at the man as he closed the door. "I thought you were Chris at first, that boy is always forgetting his key" He smiled shaking his head. I smiled at him. He walked towards the kitchen. "Would you like some lemonade? I made it myself this morning" He smiled at me pulling out two cups. I smiled at him. How could I say no to that? I nodded.

"I would love some" I said as he poured the glasses. He walked over handing me the cup. He motioned to the couch for me to sit as he sat in the lounge chair. "I'm Dan Sturniolo, Chris's grandfather" He said smiling at me. I smiled back. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Sturniolo" I said looking at him, he shook his head. "Please don't call me that, it makes me feel old. Call me Dan" He said laughing. I nodded.

"Now, what is your name dear?" Dan asked looking at me, drinking out of his cup. "Y/n, Y/n Labraut" I said looking at him. His eyes went wide as he looked at me and tilted my head. Yeah I get that reaction a lot. I smiled sadly at him. I got that reaction more often than not.

"Labraut?" He asked looking at me. I lifted the cup to my mouth before drinking some. Oh my gosh this was the best lemonade I've ever had. I nodded looking down. I hated this first conversation of introducing myself to someone new and hearing 'you're a Labraut?!'. It's exhausting. My parents have money, I don't. Treat me like everyone else please.

"So your dad is..." He trailed off. "Scott Labraut, yes" I nodded looking at me. He raised his eyebrows nodding. "Well" he breathed. "Chris's never brought home a girl before, let alone a Labraut" He smiled kindly at me. I blushed and looked down.

"Yeah well I wasn't really invited" I said quietly. He sighed. "Well you know Chris, he's...Chris" Dan sighed. I nodded. "Yeah" I breathed knowing what he meant. Chris was Chris. He's got a hard shell. His walls are built up high and I don't know why. I don't even know what I do wrong half the time. I just knew I was sorry.

For some unknown reason I feel a draw towards him in my life. Like I need him. Maybe it's because he's the only person who treats me like a normal human being. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

All of the sudden the door turned and opened revealing Chris on the other side. He sighed as he walked in. His eyes met his grandfather's before meeting mine. His expression changed to shocked face. He sighed again and looked at me. He's probably thinking, what the hell are you doing in my house, in my living room, drinking lemonade with my grandpa? Honestly I didn't know.

Chris closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" He asked looking at me looking defeated. I felt my heart turned and I set down the cup in my hands and turned towards him. "Chris! That is no way to talk to a lady" His grandfather scolded him. He looked over at him with a straight face and then back to me. "No it's fine really" I said looking at Dan.

"What are you doing here?" He asked again. I stood up off the couch and opened my mouth to speak. "She said she would like to speak with you Chris" Dan said before I could say anything. I looked at Dan and then at Chris. Chris pursed his lips before turning and walking down the hall. I watched him as he disappeared. I looked down at my feet. If anyone knew how to make me feel little, it was him.

"Go" Dan whispered over at me. I looked up at him as he motioned down the hall. I looked down the hall before walking around the couch and then down the hall. The last door was cracked open. I took a deep breath before pushing the door open. Chris was setting down his keys on his dresser. His walls were lined with posters that read, "Good Charlotte", "Green Day", "Sleeping with the Sirens", etc. I smiled at them. I wished I could have posters in my room like this.

"I love green day" I whispered. He turned and looked at the poster on his wall and then back at me, smiling slightly. I smiled at him. He sat back on his bed and looked up at me, with his hands on his lap. I looked down at him. All of the sudden forgetting what I was doing there. I was standing in front of him as he sat on the bed in front of me. All I really wanted to do was push him back and climb on top of him, forgetting I was here to apologize.

"Y/n, stop doing that" He said snapping me out of my thoughts. I shook my head and took a deep breath. He's right. Y/n, stop doing that. I sighed and sat down next to him. "Chris, I'm sorry" I breathed. He just stayed silent next to me. I looked down at my hands. "I guess I don't really know what I'm apologizing for, but I know that I'm sorry" I said shaking my head.

"I know what I said made you upset, and I don't know why, but I know I did something wrong from the way you stormed off and the way that Nate yelled at me and It's been eating me alive and I just don't want you to be upset with me or decide that you don't want to be my friend anymore because the way that this is starting isn't going so good, but I still want to be your friend even if you don't want to be mine. Not that I'm like forcing you to be friends with me, if you don't I understand I've been a total bitch and I-" I was rambling.

I bit my tongue. Chris didn't look over at me. I didn't know how to act around him. I was paincky and sweaty and nervous. Why was I so nervous? I took a deep breath.

"I shouldn't have asked about your personal life. I overstepped and I'm sorry" I said quietly. Silence. He was good at that. Not saying anything, so I never knew if he accepted the apology or not. "And I realize now how creepy it was to show up at your house and force you to listen to me apologize to you" I laughed lightly. He didn't laugh. I stopped laughing quickly. I never knew what he was thinking and I hated it. The silence he gave me was always so horrible. I think I'd rather him yell at me than stay quiet.

"I'll leave if you want me to leave" I whispered after a few seconds. He still didn't say anything. I took that as a hint. He wanted me to leave. I swallowed and nodded before standing up off the bed. I looked down at him. His eyes were fixated on his shoes. I opened my mouth to say something else but closed it quickly. Just go Y/n. I turned on my heels and started to walk towards the door.

My first friend who wasn't Sydney and I blew it within a day. I'm so good at this. My hand reached up and I started to turn the nob when he spoke.

"Y/n, don't-" He breathed. I stopped and turned around. He looked at me with a sad expression. "Don't leave please" He said quietly. I bit my lip and looked down. What did he want me to do? I apologized. He didn't really accept it. That's that right? He ran his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry I just wish that-" He stopped. I walked back over to him and sat down next to him as he looked in front of him. I wish I could know what he was thinking. I knew I couldn't , no matter how hard I tried. The way he was always quiet and if he wasn't quiet, he was yelling or starting a fight. His mind is something I always try to attempt to figure out but it's like solving a Rubik's cube. It's defeating.

He looked over at me. I just looked at him silently begging for him to give me something, anything. "I don't know how to do this" He said looking at me. I smiled. "I don't either" I said back. He smiled sadly and looked down.

"I just wish that you could know everything, but I don't know how to give it to you" He said. I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't know what he was talking about, but it was something. Something I could work with. In the short time I've known Chris, I've learned pushing him for information does absolutely nothing. He was going to break open with time, I couldn't push that.

"It's okay" I said quietly. I knew he didn't have any reason to trust me. I wanted to gain that trust but I knew it was only going to come with time. He pursed his lips still looking away from me. He tapped his foot on the ground. "You don't have to apologize for what happened today" He said quietly. I opened my mouth to defend myself yet again but he stopped me.

"Can I ask you something?" He said looking up at me. Anything. I blinked at him. "Why do you apologize so much?" He asked. I took a deep breath. I looked down at my hands and shrugged.

"I don't know" I whispered. He stayed quiet beside me, listening. He was good at that.

"I feel like everyone around me never gives me a chance" I said shaking my head. "Like everyone already has their mind made up about me, and maybe it's true, what they think at least" I said looking down. I've had a constant fear my whole life that I was what everyone's imagination made out of me.

"I feel like my whole life I've been trying to disprove everything everyone thinks about me and I guess that comes with apologizing, when I fail to meet someone's expectations for me." I explained. "I guess that also comes with giving in, just apologizing even when I don't even know what it's for, I just know I'm sorry because I did something wrong. I get it, I fall short sometimes, but I feel like I'm put on this unrealistic exception of who I should be, and no one really cares of who I actually am." I said thinking over all of the relationships in my life.

"So when I'm around people the lines between who they want me to be and who I am start to become blurrier the more I try to be who they want me to be." I said furrowing my eyebrows. I looked over at him. He just looked at me. "You're the only person in the world who knows about my parents and the stupid tattoo I want, or what I actually think about things" I breathed looking at him.

"I feel like you're the only person who I don't have to pretend around. It's....refreshing" I said looking at him. He smiled slightly. "But in my life I know that that's not what other people want from me, they want the girl who never steps out of line, the girl who can sit there and smile for the picture, the girl who they know would do anything to please another person" I said shaking my head thinking about it.

"The girl they respect" I mumbled. I looked down at my hands. "You don't always have to be who they want you to be" Chris said beside me. I looked up at him. "Chris, it's not that simple" I breathed. "When I was born, I didn't immediately get the excitement of being able to mess up, or be whoever I wanted to be" I said shaking my head. "I was born to be a Labraut" I sighed.

"I feel like my parents only started liking me when I started dating Max. So for him, I'd anything not to lose him, because If I lose him I lose my parents." I said shaking my head. "They would never forgive me. I'd be exactly who they think I am." I said leaning back. "A disappointment" I breathed.

"So when Max and I fight I know that I can't fight back, because I know I'd lose him. I learned at a very early age that standing up for yourself does nothing but trouble for yourself. So I do anything to make him stay." I said feeling a lump start to form in my throat. I don't know what Chris brings out of me, but every time I'm around him I feel like a truth serum has been poured into me, and I don't know if it's a good thing.

"You mean like.." He trailed off and I looked at him. His eyes glanced over my body and then back to my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat as he looked up at me with hurt in his eyes. I turned away from him and wiped the stray tear that was attempting to fall. I took a deep breath. I know what he's thinking. I'm weak. I'm a pushover. I just give in. I'm not making a good impression, but I'm trying.

"I'm telling you all of this because I feel like with you I don't have to try" I breathed. "That I can just be me" I explained. "I feel like in front of my friends I'm expected to be someone and I'm sorry that I got so in my head about it that I potentially messed this up" I said looking over at him. He just blinked at me.

"I've just never had a friend like you before" I whispered meeting his eyes. He looked at me with an expression I couldn't read. He was good at those. Hiding his thoughts in his head. I used to be good at that, until I was around him. Then the flood gates open and my secrets are washed up in the floor in front of us, me not understanding how they got there.

"Trust me, I've never had a friend like you before either" He whispered back making me smile. His knee moved to where it was pressing next to mine. I felt it more than I should have in the moment. He didn't do it intently, but with him everything felt intentional.

"People are scared of me, don't really give me a chance either" He said quietly beside me. I looked up at him and smiled. The corners of his mouth curled up and he looked down. It made me feel comforted that he at least tired to empathize what I go through.

I don't know why I care about saving this friendship but I do, and it's all that consumed me lately. He looked down at my hand that held my bracelet. His fingers grazed over my wrist and I pulled my hand away out of reflex. He looked up at me.

"Sorry I-" I started to say but stopped. I held out my arm again and showed him. "It's nothing special, I just found it in a pawn shop on South 8th-" I started rambling. He didn't speak as he lifted the bracelet into his hands and moved his fingers between the little tiny stars that were hanging from them. He then turned my wrist over and grazed his thumb over two small cuts in the center of my wrist. I pulled my arm away and placed both my hands in my lap, not looking at him.

I could feel his gaze on me liking burning heat. I looked down in my lap. The two small cuts on my wrists were the only two that circulated on seen skin. I felt my face grow hot of embarrassment. I didn't know what to say.

"I like being your friend Y/n" He said quietly. I looked up at him and smiled. He smiled sadly at me. We were still sitting close, knees pressed together, on the edge of his bed. His eyes glanced down to my lips and I felt the beat in my chest more prominently than before.

What I hated about this situation was I know what those lips taste like. I've felt them in between my own before. I've felt his tongue move in my mouth the way that sugar does with the sweetest candy. Him looking at me like this feels like how I presume a line of coke feels sitting in front of a recovering addict.

I was the first to look away, breaking the tension between us. I swallowed and stood up. If I create distance, there is no temptation. I looked down at him. "I'll see you at school tomorrow?" I asked looking at him. He looked surprised and then nodded looking down. I smiled before turning towards the door, but I heard him started to stand up.

"I-Uh-I'll walk you home" He stated. I turned around and shook my head. "No it's fine really" I said looking at him, but he was already walking towards me. "M-Max's waiting on me" I lied quickly. He stopped and looked at me. He nodded and looked down.

"Okay, I'll see you at school" He mumbled before sitting back down on his bed. I looked at him for a moment before turning and walking out of the room and saying a quick goodbye to his grandpa.

I don't know why I lied. I guess I just couldn't be around him for too long before I started to wonder what he tasted like again. Create distance, avoid temptation. At least that's why I keep telling myself. Which is going to be really hard considering we were officially friends now.

I walked the rest of the way home thinking about this, him, me, my life. It's all too much to think about at one time. I intentionally overwhelmed myself. My head was spinning by the time I made it to my front door. It was after dark, my parents were probably locked behind their bedroom for the rest of the night.

I walked in my room and fell onto my bed, looking up at the ceiling. I should get one of those glow-in-the-dark star stickers to put on my ceiling. So that I can feel somewhat at peace when I'm not outside looking at the real stars. They are little kiddish though, my parents would never let me get them.

I roll over and turn off the lamp that was the only thing providing dim lighting. The room went dark and rolled over hugging my pillow thinking about the things that I said, the things I wish I had said. The things I did, the things that I wish I did. I opened my eyes quickly.

Thinking them and actually doing them are too completely different things, but it still feels wrong. Should I want to kiss another boy? A boy that wasn't my boyfriend? Is that wrong to feel? It feels wrong to feel.

We were friends and I should embrace that. Which means no more looking at his mouth. No more leaving myself in a locked room with him. Just simply friends, who wave at each other in the hallway and occasionally see each other outside of school at social events if they happen to run into each other. My breathing returned to normal. I could do this. I will be fine. Me and Max will stay together and Chris and I will be friends and life will go on.

Yet, I can stop thinking about his long brown hair that falls perfectly over his eyes and his bright blue eyes as I doze off to sleep.

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#matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

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levmada · 4 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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nikosama13 · 2 months

Text

"Confess Properly!" (Law x Reader)

Description: Law was puzzled about something… you. He can’t place his finger on whether it’s that you pay close attention to him or that you are an easy-going person. On top of all of that you were in fact, beautiful and you always had everyone’s back. You were like an angel in Law’s eyes, but it’s not like he’d tell you that. But one day that all changes when the rest of the crew speaks about your traits and personality.

Side Notes: Hey loves! I’m new to writing fanfic’s so please go easy on me. (I'm also running off of 2 energy drinks and One Piece) ⚆ _ ⚆ (Most likely spelling mistakes)

~~~

Law had always been fond of you ever since he saw you and even before he had formed an alliance with Straw Hat Luffy. But there’s one thing that puzzles him.. he doesn't know why, but he much preferred you over anyone else in the crew. Probably because you made him onigiris when you paid close attention to his dislikes such as bread or the fact that you were peaceful and it didn't take much to please you.

However one day things change.. His hold on his glass mug tightened, seeing as Bartolomeo swoons and fanboys over you. He gritted his teeth as jealousy ran through his veins, it took all of him not to use his devil fruit.

"Tch. Damn Rooster-ya."

~~~

The ocean air had a cool yet refreshing breeze. The sun shined bright as birds chirped happily above, the waters being surprisingly calm as the smell of salty water filled the air. It was a nice break from all the chaos and action on the ship.

Law was still in a bad mood as he leaned against the wooden railing of the deck.

You were out on the same small deck looking out at the view in the distance, with a plastic old chair you took from your room.

“Oh hi Law..” you said tiredly.

He glanced up at you, seeing your innocent smile that had the chance to make anyone's day better, made him soften just a little bit.

The doctor sighed as he leaned back on the railing, crossing his arms to keep himself from doing something he'd regret. He had to keep a poker face.

"Ah, uh, hey."

“What's with the grumpy mood..?” you said peacefully.

"..nothing."

He replied in a monotone voice, trying to not look at you. He wasn’t trying to be rude but definitely came off as he was. He was just jealous that those other guys were drooling all over you.

“Well it seems like something..”

Law scoffed, and leaned on the railing again, he hated it when you saw through his facade. He clenched his fists as he looked down at the waters below. Why did he feel this way about you? What was it about you..

"..forget about it. It's nothing important."

Law crossed his arms a little tighter as he glared out into the ocean, trying to suppress his emotions. It seemed pretty clear you knew something was wrong, it seemed his face told a lot more than he wanted it to.

"..it's nothing, just a little irritated from all that.. Attention…"

“What attention..?”

"You know what attention."

He grumbled as he clenched his fists tighter. This was exactly why he hated Bartolomeo and hated how much he loved you.

"The way he keeps going on and on, those other guys- it's just so annoying. All they do is drool and worship you."

“Oh.. I dont care much about them..”

"…r-really?"

Law's gaze snapped towards you as you casually mentioned not caring about them. He couldn't help but feel a small bit of jealousy rise up again from that. He hated this feeling.

"I know…it's just annoying, all of it. They keep saying how you're ‘perfect’ and everything else.. they're right though.." He muttered under his breath.

“Wait did you just-”

"…did I do what?"

He glanced back at you, he was trying to keep a stiff upper lip with the way his cheeks were burning. He didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to say what he really meant.

“Did you just agree with them..?”

He sighed as he leaned on the railing once more. If this was a different situation he would give an answer in a snarky tone but with that small amount of jealousy he couldn't manage it.

"..yes."

“So that means..”

"It means what?!"

He grumbled as he felt his cheeks getting a little bit hot. He didn't want to admit anything, but his emotions were betraying him.

“You know..”

Law couldn't help but feel a little bit red from how obvious it was getting. He sighed as his gaze went back towards the waters below, the sun setting in the distance made everything a little more romantic and pleasant.

"…yeah. I do."

“Then confess to me properly.”

"…are you serious?"

He raised an eyebrow at you, maybe he wasn't hearing this properly. He was already surprised you had a pretty good clue on how he felt about you, so he didn't think you'd actually want him to say it.

“Come on, there is no point in hiding it.”

"I…"

He had to clear his throat, he had always been a very stoic and calm one so he didn't like how much you were making him stutter. But you were right, it was pretty obvious how he felt about you. He didn't need to hide anything.

"I like you." He muttered quickly, waiting for you to say something to his confession.

“..and I like you back.”

Law was taken aback by you saying those words back to him. He had been expecting a "Sorry" or a "no" but not an "I like you back" he was stunned into silence for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts.

"You…you feel the same way about me?" He asked as he looked at you, surprised and hopeful that you did.

His cheeks heated up as he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was overjoyed to hear you say such things to him. He had liked you for so long and it had been obvious to everyone else how much he was into you. Hearing you liked him back was something he had always dreamed out.

~~~

The End~

(This took soo long to make and I’m super happy with it.) ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ Consider Following..?

Thank you for reading.

#fluff?#trafalgar law #one piece #cute #slight angst #law x reader #short story #fem reader #one piece ships #fanfic

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aajjks · 3 months

Text

Mommy Issues (IV)

synopsis. They wanted you, they needed you.

pairing. yandere!single dad!jungkook x fem!reader.

warnings. yändêrê bêhãvïöür, 0 tö ä 100 rêäl quïck, ängst, jk ïs kïnda än äss ïn thïs, mänïpülätïön, dëprëssïon, mëntïöns of vïöliêncè.

note. hello y’all. 😳 umm it’s surely been a while… but here’s another update, enjoy! and please share your feedback and thoughts! also send in asks for mi characters as well. AND PLZ DONT FORGET ABOUT MI KOO.

series masterlist.

taglist: @mageprincess7 @bids97 @saltandsugaa @minshookie29 @oppa-agust-d @sugarvenomlit @jinat8mydumplings82 @bloombaekhyun @peach-olic @multifandombishthatlovekth @vcutvante @minshookie29 @douknowbts @xjiminsthighsx @knjkitten @bruisedscrewedandtattooed @koocreampie @kooksmataec @monijeon @swaneffects @dragons-flare @dragonjimin @illnevertrustmyselfagain @itsjust2am @vicki1031 @burnahtsw @fjssk @jamacaicanxbarbie [will tag more people later!]

Jungkook regrets saying that out loud because now you’re gonna think that he’s a creep, or definitely a weirdo. You’re staring at him completely caught off guard and he doesn’t blame you.

But before he can overthink and let his anxiety take over, because of how creeped out you must be at his remark, why did he even say that out loud it was unnecessary… you give him a small smile, and all of his nerves immediately calm down. The effect that you have on him… he’s so in love with you.

“U-Uh I’m so sorry how inappropriate of me… yeah, I remember not in the school, right.. Ms yn I’m so sorry.” Jungkook looks down in his lap, but all he sees is Jeon Seol staring back at his father, with a confused look in his Bambi eyes, even though there’s no no one left except for him, you and his son he still feels really bad because you must feel really uncomfortable.

“Well..” you clear your throat, “I don’t think there’s anything in particular that I need to tell you about the progress of his studies because he’s doing good in them but behavior wise,” your smile, fades a little and you’re all serious now, he notices every inch of your expression.

You look concerned.

“you don’t have to worry about Seol getting lost in the school the assistant teacher will take care of him because there is something that I need to discuss with you about him in private.”

Jungkook looks at you with confusion, because what possibly could you be telling him that you need Seol out of the room for?

“I-Is everything all right?” Jungkook stutters out, his nerves are back once again. You don’t say anything and that just scares me one more because what did his five year old do for you to be so serious? But jungkook has got your hint and he whispers something in his son’s ear before Seol runs off.

You sigh before saying, “Mr. jeon.. I’m a little concerned.”

“On Thursday, Seol punched a student because he said I loved him more than Seol.” You cross your arms across your chest. Your demeanor has completely shifted and you look so serious.

Damn, you look really hot- he’s so focused on you that he doesn’t even listen to what you’re saying that is until the word punched settles in his brain.

“what? W-What?” he’s so confused right now. Jungkook cannot believe that his five-year-old punched someone. “Uhh what?” Dumbfounded he asks you once again.

“Yes… the child was even bleeding…” you shake your head, “as his teacher, I feel like I failed him because he wasn’t an aggressive violent child..” Jungkook doesn’t like the way you get a little sad.

No, it’s not your fault.

“Mr Jeon.. he’s a little possessive… for a five-year-old I don’t think that’s healthy… I mean I love him with all my heart I love all my students, but.. it seems like he wants me to only love him.”

Jungkook wants to scoff. And what is so wrong with that? Yeah he shouldn’t have punched the kid, but the kid must’ve instigated him. But he decides to keep his expressions neutral.

“Is everything all right? you’re his parent and I think it’s my responsibility to let you know everything about him.” The way you speak is so tender, so professional and gentle, but he feels a little pissed off.

You have left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“A-Are you saying that you don’t love him? Or that he’s got a problem?” His could you- can’t you see you’re breaking jungkooks heart right now?

“If only he had a mother…” he sighs, sadly.

Jungkook nods, coughing so he can clear his throat, he doesn’t want to come off as mean, but.. he cannot help it anymore.

“I understand… I think that my son has misunderstood you.” He begins, as he gets closer to your face. “he has confused your role in his life, I’m so sorry for that, but the truth is that he sees you as his mother-rather than a teacher and..” he takes a breath, “you’re not his mother. You’re just his teacher.” He barely manages to resist Make sure that his tone is appropriate.

And you’re speechless.

He immediately sees a change in your expressions and your mouth is a little wide when you hear him say that. “ I’ll make sure that he understands that and he will never do it again I am so sorry.” Jungkook smiles, Before he leans back in the chair.

“I’ll even apologize to the boys parents.” Jungkook just wants to get away from you now, first his father and now you.

This is the worst day ever.

And tomorrow he has to meet his father. Someone kill him.

“can I go now? Also, please could you tell me the boys name?” He is not speaking to you with a smile. As you tell him the boys name and his parents names, he can tell that you’re almost about to cry, for some reason.

That’s how he feels right now too. Maybe you’re not what he thought you were. You will never understand him or his son.

“Well Ms L/N have a good day.” he chooses to address you with your last name as compared to your first… jungkook doesn’t know why he’s feeling so bitter right now, but he feels like you’ve crushed his heart.

He just made him feel like his son has a problem and that you don’t love him. He almost feels a sense of betrayal.

He can just sulk in the car so he gets up before bowing to you, as his son’s teacher, he has to show you some respect, and he picks up Seol’s bag that was on the floor before he ran off, and he’s out of the room.

What a heavy heart, and a heavy conscious.

It’s about time that jungkook lets his son know that you’re not his mother. You’ll never be. You’ll never understand them. Truth is that you’ll never want them and need them like they do.

297 notes · View notes

jomgiiu · 1 year

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HEAT OF THE MOMENT

The king of Hawkins high, Steve Harrington asks you out on a date but not for the reason you think. After that night, you learn who the real Steve Harrington is.. or so you thought.

paring: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

CW: ANGST ANGST ANGST, i guess bully!steve?, steve being a douchebag, king steve taking effect, swearing obviously, mentions of wounds/blood not to major.

A/N: i wrote this one a whim, got carried away it’s not the best but i need feedback to see what i should do next with it lol. i liked writing season 1 steve, i made him meaner than in the actual show but ofc i hope you all dont mind! enjoy and reblog! (not proof read and poor writing oops)

Last night was the worst nights of your life, you got stood up by Steve Harrington. He'd asked you on a date during lunch and you obviously said yes. You and your friends were giggling and whispering about it all day, they gave you advice about what to do and say, what to wear, how to do your makeup, they seemed more excited than you. The moment you got home you got ready. He said he’d be there at 6 and it was already 3, so you had enough time to plan everything out. You put on your favorite record, pulled out your lucky socks, and got ready. The outfit you picked look like it came out of a magazine, so elegant and beautiful; Steve was definitely going to fall for you. At least that’s what you thought.

Sitting on the couch, you waited and waited and waited. 6 o’clock rolled around and the butterflies in your stomach would not stop.

6:13. He's just running a bit late.

6:28. Maybe he had car trouble?

6:41. Maybe he actually meant 7!

7:15. Or maybe he didn’t mean anything at all.

7:35. You were nothing to him.

Your parents didn’t get home from work until 8, so you decided to go up and change to save yourself the embarrassment of them asking about anything. Feeling like you came out of magazine just to feel like you were a thrown-out magazine because it’s the wrong issue. You went to sleep that night, crying over a stupid boy and a stupid date. It was stupid.

What felt like forever, you finally got to your locker. Fumbling with the lock, you got it to open and put your things away, grabbing stuff for your classes. Laughter was heard a few lockers down, glancing over it was Steve and his idiot friends. You sighed and shut your locker. You didn’t want to confront Steve but you had the right too. Confidently, you walked over to them but that instantly left when Carol whispered something to Steve, making him snicker. Your stomach felt like it was twisting and winding, you felt sick.

“Hey, you!” Carol greeted; her words were sweet but was sour coming out of her mouth. You gave her a small wave and went to focus on Steve. He had on a blue polo, Calvin Klein jeans and a dark windbreaker complementing his outfit. His hair was perfect as always, he spent more time looking at himself than he did anyone else.

“Can I help you?” He asked.

“Um,” the words were stuck in your throat. His stare was burning you. Either you chicken out or you confront him.

“Where were you last night?” the words came out in almost a whisper.

“Huh? What was that?” he put his hand behind his ear, leaning down a bit to you. “What did you say?” Steve’s teasing was cruel, he has a smirk planted on his face waiting for you respond.

“I think our friend here asked about your date last night.” Tommy commented.

“Ah.” Steve moved his hand away from his ear and resting it in his jean pocket. “Listen, I was planning on going but I got wrapped up in somethings. I was going to call. Promise.” The sympathy in his voice was forced.

“Yeah, Steve was too busy studying anatomy with Nancy.” Tommy teased, making Carol slap him on the chest playfully. Steve smirked and looked at you.

“Tom, pay up man.”

What?

You tried to process what was going on. You watched Tommy give Steve a $20, shoving it in his pocket looking so proud of himself.

“Why did-”

“Oh gosh, for being a straight ‘A’ student, you really are stupid.” Carol said.

“W-what?”

“Tommy over here told me if I asked you out, I'd get the 20. I did and I got the 20.” Steves words felt like a knife to the heart.

“You put a bet on me?”

“Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!” Tommy exclaimed, making everyone laugh.

“You really believed that Steve would go out with you!” Carol snorted.

“I-”

“Listen, you seem like a great girl, I just don’t think you're up to the Steve Harrington standard. Nancy on the other hand, well she is. Don’t get me wrong, she just like you but more put together you get what I mean?” Steve’s words were harsh but said with ease.

You began to shake, you tried to hold the tears back forming in your eyes letting one fall down your cheek.

“Aw are you crying?” Carol pouted.

“I just thought you wanted to actually get to know me.” You choked out.

“Get to know you? I’d rather talk to a freak than talk to you. But I guess that’s what I’m doing now huh?” Laughter erupted around you. People stopped and stared at you, all eyes were on you, people where whispering and giggling.

You quickly walked away from them, tears clouding your vision you didn’t want to go anywhere else but out. Your friends tried to stop you but you ignored them, you were just trying to get to your car where you could be alone. Getting in your car, you finally let it all out. They humiliated you in front of everyone, Steve placed a bet on you, everyone knew why. You were a loser. You’d never be Nancy Wheeler and you’d never be with Steve Harrington. Going home that day felt awful, you told your parents that you got sick and just needed to be home for the day, or the week. Thankfully, they took the bait and let you come home early and stay home for the week. Your mom went to the school to pick up your work you missed and that kept you occupied for the time being but didn’t distract you from your feelings.

It didn’t help either that one of your friends called you, basically screaming at you that Steve asked her out on a date and she was calling you from the diner payphone that they were at right now. Your heart almost about blew up when you heard that. The day he does that to you, he asks one of your friends out? You told her congrats and when she briefly asked about your date, you just told her that you canceled because you didn’t feel well, hence why you left school today. She instantly bought it and told you that she’ll update you later and hung up. Of course, everyone had a crush on Steve and everyone wanted to be Steve. You wanted Steve but you didn’t know his personality, you didn’t know who he was as a person until now. Every girl he’s been with was ranting and raving about him and the dates he brings them on, you just wanted to experience one. You knew you were pretty, smart and you had a pretty decent reputation, why would he do that to you. Steve made you feel like nothing. He made you feel ugly, stupid and a loser. Steve Harrington was an asshole and no one knew that expect for you.

Tuesday finally came. You begged your mom to stay home again, since you did Monday. You tired the fake puke trick but she saw right through it. Your mom convinced you if you went to school, you could buy something out of a catalog. You couldn’t pass that opportunity. If you were coming back, you were coming back looking like you haven’t been crying for the past week. You threw on the cutest outfit you could find, made sure the tear stains were off your face, kissed your mom goodbye and headed to school. The moment you walked in, the counselor grabbed you by the throat and dragged you into her office. Ms. Kelly was a nice lady; it was clear she cared about the students but it annoyed you because you didn’t want to talk. She asked how you were doing and what you plan on doing to keep your grades up. You explained that you have all your work, you just need to turn it in.

“Wonderful!” she said.

Ms. Kelly looked down at her paper, dragging her finger along until she stopped.

“Ms. Click has actually requested to see you, I told her I'd send you down to talk to her. She couldn’t wait until your period. You can also take your work for her class and turn it in then.” She said, writing a hall pass. “Just come back here when you’re done okay?” You nodded gripping your history work, taking the hall pass and walking to Clicks. You liked Click, she was nice to you and you had her 5th period which was such a calm class, you liked everyone in there. As soon as you opened the door to Clicks, everyone's eyes were on you and even pair you didn’t want. Steve Harringtons.

“Oh, perfect timing! Class, turn and talk about the question on the board I'll be a moment.”

You walked into the classroom more to Clicks desk. She smiled at you and offered you a little candy. How could you say no. You handed her your stack of papers as she sat down at her desk.

“How have you been. 5th hour hasn’t been the same!”

You glanced around the class to see the people. Steve was still looking at you. You began to fiddle with the hem of your shirt.

“Oh, I've been sick. Flu season I guess.”

“Ah, I see. Thank you for doing your work while you were sick. Not a lot of kids even do their work in class.” you nodded. “I called you here to obviously see if you were alright but also to see if a student can borrow your notes. You did them perfectly and I think it would help them. Don’t worry, he’ll give it back to me so you can have it back.” Click began to look through another pile of papers.

“Sure, who’s using it?”

“Steve.”

The color drained from your face. God was not on your side today. You didn’t want the cause of you missing school to look at your notes, it’s his fault he’s stupid.

“Ah, here we are,” She pulled out your notes and handed them to you. “Give those to Steve please and you can be on your way. We can talk more in 5th hour!” She smiled. You grabbed your notes and have her a tight-lipped smile. Turning away from her desk, you walked to Steve’s. He clearly wasn’t doing the assignment, just goofing around and flirting with the girls around him. Making it to his desk, he stopped talking to the girls and instantly looked at you.

“What-”

“Ms. Click wanted me to give you my notes to help you out.” you interrupted, holding out the notes to him.

“Pfft, I don’t need your notes. I don’t want to read mistakes.”

Hold it together.

“It wasn’t my choice. It was Ms. Cli-”

“Does it look like I care about what she has to say? No. Do I care what you have to say? No. I'm surprised you even came to school today looking like this.”

The girls around him started giggling and whispering to each other.

“I think I look fine.”

“Well, I'm glad you had the confidence to wear clothes from the salvation army.”

Don’t cry.

“For your information, I got an ‘A’ on these notes and Ms. Click said I was the only one who got an ‘A.’ And I got these from a catalog and I'm sorry my daddy doesn’t buy me every new thing like your ugly BMW you drive and at least I'm not a wannabe dickhead.”

Steve put his hands over his chest, having a shocked expression on his face which quickly switched to a smug look.

“Wow! You got me there! You showed me!” Steve scooted up closer in his seat, resting his arms in front of him looking right at you.

“I'm not the wannabe sweetheart, you are. You want to have my money and BMW so bad but here you are driving your run-down Ford Escort and thinking that catalog clothing is going to save you. It’s not. Sure, you think you're all smart but looks will do you better in the future. Remember that.” Steve snatched the notes from your hands and started to talk to his friends again.

You left the classroom so fast, before you could say goodbye to Ms. Click. The whole day you were worried about what Steve said. About how you looked and how looks will get you places. You knew it was bullshit, you had colleges already begging for you to go to school but it’s the way Steve said it. Worse of it all, you went to 5th hour, hoping for a good period. Until you got your notes back to notice he scribbled all over them, writing things, drawing crude things on all your work. You frantically began to look through the notes until one comment stood out to you.

‘When you walk out of school, make sure to wear the bag on your head I left you at your locker. You need it.’

Tears filled your eyes. You shot up from your seat and ran out of your class. Ms. Click was yelling for you as you ran down the halls until you got to your locker. There you saw a paper bag with eye holes cut out of it, tapped to your locker. You ripped the bag off your locker and fell to your knees, sobbing into the paper bag. Why was Steve being so mean to you? You should be ruining his life; he shouldn’t be ruining yours. This all started with a date that turned out to be a joke and then ever since your life went downhill. Classmates from your period found you and tried to comfort you of what happened. You broke and told Ms. Click what happened and what Steve did which led to Principal Higgins getting involved and calling your parents and Steve's. He got a suspended for the rest of the week which was a relief to you but didn’t help the situation. Now since this situation, you were known as the ‘Cry baby.’ Your friends tried to help you feel better and stood up for you when the time was right. You were grateful to have a support system but not grateful for Steve Harrington.

It’s been a few months since the whole Steve situation and some forgot about it and moved on to other things like the Byers youngest boy going missing and Barb Holland also going missing, making the whole town worried. Steve was still a dick but he didn’t pay any mind to you though, he was too busy dealing with his goons and his dream girl, Nancy Wheeler. A part of you still had a crush on him, just the smallest he was still cute but he was still a dick. You had to go see Ms. Kelly every Friday since what happened which you didn’t mind but it was still annoying. It was the same bland conversation about your week. If there's any people giving you a hard time, grades, college, just boring, stupid conversations that waste your time during 6th period but you got to leave earlier which was a plus. Before you left, Ms. Kelly told you that your mom called and wanted you to stop by Melvald’s to grab some more dish soap so that’s where you are now, looking for dish soap and Melvald’s. Why are there so many soaps? You never paid attention to what one you used it was just soap. You notice someone move at the conner of your eye, you paid no mind to it until you noticed who the someone was. The navy-blue jacket, the blue jeans, the green shirt, the hair. Yeah, it was him.

Oh god not here.

Focus on the soaps.

Glancing over at him he was looking at the band aids and ointments he looked dazed, squinting at labels trying to make it clear. Then a pair of hazel eyes fell on you, making you quickly look at the soaps. You swore your heart was going to explode it was pounding so fast, it felt like someone was squeezing your whole body you couldn’t breathe. Was this really happening? Why was he here? How could you not see his BMW in the parking lot? Anxiety riddled your body as you heard someone shuffle up to you. God don’t let it be you.

“Hey,”

Frozen in place, you moved your head slightly to look at him. You were taken back by the way he looked. The right side of his face was bloody and bruised with the wound already scabbing over, his right eye swollen, a small cut settled on his lip following one on the bridge of his nose., going slightly down to the right of his cheek. He looked awful. You tried not to stare at him too much, you didn’t want to be rude but it was impossible to look away. Who did this to the king of Hawkins high?

“Sorry to bother you. I just--I can't really read this. Is this the right ointment?”

Your eyes trailed down to the box he was holding making you huff out a laugh.

“Well, if you have hemorrhoids then yes, but otherwise no.”

“Uh, no. Not necessarily.” His face turned a light shade of red. “I need something for um,” he pointed to his face rising his eyebrows. “This.”

“I’ll help you. Hemorrhoid cream definitely isn't gonna help that.” you kicked yourself for that and made your way to where he was before. Steve stood watching you look through the hundreds of creams and ointments on the shelf. You eventually found one and replaced it the original ointment in Steve's hand for the new one.

“Zemo will help a lot it does wonders; it makes it less itchy and heals quicker. You'll thank me later.”

Steve looked at the medicine and looked back at you. There was no hatred in his eyes, no cruelness. Just hurt. He was hurt inside and out; he was guilty for what he’s done to you and so many others. He’s guilty for hurting the only girl he loves. He’s hurting.

“Thanks.” that’s all he could say to you in this moment. A simple thank you, not anything else.

“Have you cleaned them?”

“Uh no, just had an aspirin and a cold coke to put it on.” Steve shrugged.

You sighed.

“Okay, just get that, I'll finish what I need and meet me outside okay?”

The stinging sensation of the alcohol covered cotton pad on the open wound made Steve wince, making him pull his head away from you. You muttered a sorry and he just huffed and let you clean him up. Never in a million years you would be sitting here in the Milvad’s parking lot taking care of Steve Harrington. He watched you carefully as you take your time with him, carefully moving so he wouldn’t be in as much pain as he already was. It took someone to beat the absolute shit out of him for him to realize how much of a dick he was. How miserable he made people feel. How miserable he made you feel.

“Sorry, this happened to you, I can't imagine how much it hurts.”

Steve scoffed at your sincerity.

“I deserved it, you out of all people should be happy this happened to me.”

“A little part of me is,” you admitted. “Who did this to you?”

You put the cotton pad down and grabbed the Zemo putting a glob on your finger and gently rubbing it in over his wound. Steve hissed at the contact.

“Jonathan Byers.” Steve mumbled.

“Oh wow.” You were quite shocked that a quiet boy like him could rock Steve’s shit. Steve was fit, he had to be for basketball and baseball so you assume he could win a fight. You finished applying the Zemo and giving it to Steve.

“Make sure you put this on twice a day, and only once if you shower. It should help the itch and the scaring a bit. You'll be healed in no time.”

Steve held the Zemo in his hands and watched you clean everything up. You were really pretty up close. Yeah, he looked at you close up a lot of times but this time he noticed every detail of your face, every curve, every wrinkle, every texture, he was scared of looking away because he didn’t want to forget it. Steve thought back to the paper bag he taped to your locker, Tommy and Carol thought it would be a funny idea and so did he at the time. When he was in the principal's office with his dad with you and your parents, he glanced at you and his chest was tight. Your head was hanging low, tears falling down your cheeks and landing on your hands, silent sobs coming from you. Steve recoiled when heard let out sobs after him and his dad left the principal's office. Mr. Harrington made it clear if he pulled that shit again, he would be kicked off the basketball and baseball teams, he wouldn’t get into an ivy league school and end up as a drug dealer on the streets. Mrs. Harrington told him that’s no way to treat girls, there’s no reason to bully girls anyway. She was disappointed in her Stevie and Stevie was disappointed in himself. Of course, that didn’t stop him from being an asshole, if he didn’t get caught then he wouldn’t have to go through that whole fiasco again so he moved on from you and started being an arrogant prick either way to everyone around him. That ended up getting beat up, ditching his “friends” and getting taken care of by the girl he bullied.

“Thanks for doing this, you didn’t have to you know?”

“I know.” you responded.

“Why did you?”

You sighed and looked at him. He looked so vulnerable, his hazel eyes soft and looking at you. Steve looked like a lost puppy; in some cases, he was. Now he was. He had no friends anymore, he was hurt and lost, no guidance, nothing. You seemed like the only thing keeping him afloat at this moment.

“Unlike some people Steve, I care. No matter what you did to me, how you treated me, you deserve some type of -- I don’t know but I was always taught to help people that needed it. I know you know what's right. I know what you have to do, so do it. You're better than this Steve Harrington.”

You walked towards your car, quickly getting in throwing the stuff in the front and driving off before Steve could say anything to you. Deep down, you knew Steve was a good person he was just around bad people. As much as you hated it, you knew he had to apologize to Nancy, he had to make everything up to her and even Jonathan but it was selfish to think he’d do the same to you.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x fem reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things angst #enimies to friends to lovers #steve harrington angst #king steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #angst #season one steve harrington #stranger things season 1 #mean!steve harrington #steve harrington x y/n smut

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byhuenii · 6 months

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✩°｡ ⋆⸜ matching halloween costumes w/ jjk men

AN: listen yes i know IM 5 days late to halloween but who gives a fuck! i love me halloween i love me some matching halloween costumes and i love me some jjk men. simple girl with simple needs 🤷‍♀️ Fem!reader BTW

Included: Gojo Geto Nanami Toji Choso !!

Gojo Satoru - Beast Boy and Raven

at first he was totally against the idea of turning his hair green because duh it was what made satoru satoru! but with some little convincing he caved in (YES!)

he knew of beast boy and raven is what he told you but he didn’t he really didn’t have a childhood to which he could watch cartoons, so he had to look up beast boy and robin he even watched some clips of just beast boy and raven. he wanted to fit the role—the more he watched the more he was convinced yeah he is beast boy.

and when the costumes finally came in on time for shoko’s halloween party, he was already in character. instead of calling you princess baby he now calls you mama. you can’t lie it makes you giggle at how dedicated he is. and to be honest he really just wanted to see you in that body suit with tights and a cape. before and during the party he couldn’t keep his hands off you. (he is so beast boy :c)

Geto Suguru - Woody and Bo Peep

at first he was confused like, why would you want to be dolls? why couldn’t you be like mario and princess peach? but no you had to convince him to be woody and bo peep. it took some actual convincing a whole powerpoint presentation.

he knew of those two already since you loved doing toy story, it was your comfort movie. your go to movie. your my personality movie. he still never got the whole appeal of it still. it wasn’t like you two were doing anything it was just going to be a simple chill at home handing candy to kids while satoru and shoko were there being themselves annoying geto. so when he put the costume on the day of halloween he looked himself in the mirror laughing. you who was confused thought he liked it oh so wrong. he thought he looked stupid,

you were already in the living room with satoru and shoko talking. he wanted to walk out without the costume but he knew you had always wanted to match as bo peep and woody—he put it back on and sucked it up. satoru being satoru of course laughing at suguru but he didn’t care suguru did it for you. (he would look so cute as woody with his long hair/man bun DONT @ ME.)

Nanami Kento - Flynn Ryder and Rapunzel

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON NANAMI. that man is such a gentleman he doesn’t care what you guys are for halloween, as long as you’re happy that’s all that mattered to him. he never cared for halloween it was just a silly holiday to dress up, this was serious for you SERIOUS BUSINESS.

the two of you binged watched every single disney princess movie and you came to the conclusion he liked tangled the most. there was just something about the movie he liked it. you immediately ordered everything for the costume so when he finally out it on, it was game over. it was like he was fit perfectly for the role as flynn ryder. he thought he looked good but when you put on the costume you looked amazing to him,

something about the corset and longer hair did something to him, got him giggling kicking his feet! you could say the same. the white open top button with the vest…it was like his normal attire but just more flynn ryder. safe to say he had kiss stains all over his face

Fushiguro Toji - The chef and Remy the rat

Listen you are basically already toji’s sugar mommy cause that boy cannot hold a job and for that why don’t we give him a job on halloween as a one of the many chefs from ratatouille!

you moreover the rat wouldn’t maybe say remy but definitely a cute ass rat! toji was all for it until you put on the ears. he looked at you all weird like you were some human sized rat which you weren’t. you literally had a grey corset white skirt and rat ears. CUTE rat ears. he wouldn’t even kiss you or hug you because he thought he would be seen as a rat lover like what??

you didn’t care you looked cute and took picture cause at the end of the day your goal was just to make you and your greasy boyfriend look cute together, maybe you should’ve done ghost face but who cares you were a cute rat.

Choso Kamo - Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy

it was a last minute costume, both of you weren’t going to do anything but remembered you could just walk around Shibuya! …well itadori invited you two because he knew you two would laze around on the couch watching cheap horror movies on the TV with some popcorn that was probably too stale for you two to eat.

and with last minute costumes calls for last minute shopping and what did you find? some spiderman suits. i mean take what you can get and don’t throw a fit! choso was skeptical cause its just a bodysuit, he would be exposed! but he still bought it, and man that shit formed his body perfectly, his abs were outlined his biceps.

the two of you ended up just throwing on some sweats/cargos over the bodysuit and called it a day. choso had the mask hang out of his front pocket, you just wanted to grab it wrap it around his neck and pull him into infinite kisses. yuuji thought you two looked so cute with the matching costume! if yuuji likes the costume and you like the costume that is all that mattered to choso, he was happy loving every moment he spent with you and yuuji.

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aliaology · 6 months

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GET HIM BACK!

summary: reader wants to get her ex boyfriend, luke hughes, back in order to get her revenge.

pairings: luke hughes x ex!fem!reader

warnings: jealousy, arguments, mentions of sex

based on ‘get him back’ by olivia rodrigo

THIS IS NOT HOW LUKE HUGHES ACTS. this is just for the plot, i have no idea how he acts outside of hockey and media!

you met luke in the summer of 2021. he was at the michigan lake house, and you were visiting your friends house who lived just next door. the boy accidentally hit a volleyball over to your friends house and from there the two of you blossomed.

though, the relationship was quite toxic, causing you to leave him the next spring, just before you could meet his parents. the two of you argued over everything, him normally starting it.

“are you fucking serious, y/n?” luke groaned, throwing your phone on the bed. you looked confused. “what the fuck did i do?”

“i dont know— maybe snap my fucking brother twenty four-seven?” luke snapped. you rolled your eyes.

“we just send pics to keep a fucking streak going, luke, why is this such a big deal?” you groaned.

“because you’re talking to other guys, what if you’re cheating?”

you scoffed and crossed your arms, “so you don’t trust me?”

not to mention, he had a huge ego, thanks to being the number four pick of the 2021 nhl draft. along with the many, many girls who loved him online. would they love his personality? probably not.

maybe another part of his shitty personality was the wandering eye he had. the way his eyes would drift to look at another girls chest or ass, it was embarrassing.

but, he was fun. fun at parties, fun at sex, fun at it all, and so were his weird friends. you personally favored dylan duke and mark estapa, but no one would find that out.

he took you out to many parties, bars, clubs. and when he said something wrong in front of his friends, he’d buy you something like tickets for a small vacation.

but there are nights where you miss him, until you remember how he would hit on all of your best friends. do you love him or do you hate him? its… up and down.

but right now, you wanted him back. to get him back, to get revenge. he deserved to feel mad, sad and jealous, everything you felt the entire relationship. it should get him back.

so you started to write letters, but after you would just throw them in the trash. all you talked about in the letters was how much you missed his touch and kiss, and how making you laugh was a bonus.

then when you tried texting him, you didn’t have the balls to say anything because you knew how disappointed your friends would be.

he was toxic, and you were not the only girl. you remember the time where you decided to try communicating your feelings.

“baby, can we talk?” you asked, walking behind him, he sat on the couch, eyes fixated on his game.

“what?” he spoke, fingers ferociously clicking his controller.

“recently, the way you’ve been just doesn’t feel fair, luke. i’ve been putting my all into us and i dont get the same treatment back, it hurts.”

luke scoffed, “you’re trippin’ babe”

but maybe you could fix him? scratch that. maybe you could key his car? or break his heart? or punch him?

then again, you could fix him.. with the nice route. instead of breaking his heart, you stitch it right back up. or kiss him. or make him lunch.

how about you meet his mom? but instead of telling her how good he was, you tell her how much her son fucking sucks.

you did. you met up with her— on complete accident. according to her, luke had not told anyone you broke up with him. he made up a fake excuse saying your family needed you for the summer.

you almost laughed in her face.

you almost laughed after she stormed out of the cafe, learning how her you her son was a prick. and you definitely laughed when you got the text from jack telling you how much shit, luke got.

time to work on coach part two xx

#Spotify #jack hughes #hockey #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #hughes brothers

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purplestars222 · 2 months

Text

Hazbin hotel headcannons!!!!

just general stuff i think the characters do!!

(radiodust, staticmoth, vees are poly, chaggie, pentniss, little bit of radioapple if you squint, also one sided huskerdust/angeldusk)

characters: Alastor, angeldust, lucifer, charlie, vaggie, husk, sir pentious, arackniss, baxter, niftyz cherri bomb, the vees.

cw: nsfw!!! valentino

Minors do not interact.

definitely vapes. since he has to stay sober, i think he would vape to take the edge off a bit :)

Angeldust

in an attempt to get alastor to actually like him, he lays off the flirting a little, and cooks for him from time to time, he mainly just makes different pastas

He teaches alastor italian, and alastor teaches him french

Hates arackniss most of the time, but loves teasing him about being a bottom with pentious (hes a switch)

Alastor

he cooks for others to show he cares

i dont think he'd be a fan of imps ir hellhounds, idk why i just get that feeling

HE IS STINKY.

hes curious about arackniss because hes the opposite of angel, so they have drinks together sometimes- alastor always asks questions about angel

he doesn't believe that he likes angel at first, but angel starts letting his walls down, and alastor realises hes actually an interesting individual!

Charlie

she just wants her dads to get along!

she ok puts together trust exercises specifically for alastor and lucifer to get closer but it drives them apart

She loves taking care of vaggie, it makes her feel useful. Whenever vaggie isnt feeling well, she only lets her leave bed when necessary. She gets everything she needs.

Lucifer

hes a switch but prefers to bottom, lillith 100% pegs him.

Cooks breakfast at the hotel on weekends for the main guys- alastor started helping too out of spite, trying to make his food taste better.

Always does things to prove hes better than alastor, hes mainly just trying to get als attention but he pays him no mind.

Vaggie

If anyone looks at charlie the wrong way or touches her without consent she goes fucking beserk. If she ever finds out about what valentino did, she'll kill him herself.

Husk

has a pretty close relationship with lucifer! they play board games together and lucifer sometimes vents to her

they shit talk alastor together

vaggie vents to him aswell

him and angel watch movies together sometimes and cuddle! alastor does not approve, but him and angel arent together so he cant really do anything, because it makes angel happy.

Sir pentious

He loves angels chest fluff and sometimes purrs into it when they're cuddling. angel teases him for it, but in a cute way

he practises magic tricks with angel when they're having a movie night.

him and angel sometimes fuck, for angel is just sex with a close friend but husk really likes him, husk just knows alastor likes angel too and he does NOT wanna fuck with alastor.

when angel and alastor get together he hides away in his room for a few days, he only tells charlie what happened

Autistic. Most autistic guy in the show (until we get baxter at least)

Doesn't understand why niss doesn't say hes only half a bottom when angel teases him about it

when angel asks about his sex life with niss (as a joke) his whole face turns red and he screams "Itss none of your businessss!!" and slithers off as fast as he can, angel thinks its fucking hilarious to get him flustered

Nifty

Proudest dad of his egg bois, he sometimes makes little outfits for them and they out on mini plays for him and arackniss about very random stuff, they can never tell if the plays are based on true events or not.

he has a giant heat lamp in his room, he lays under it and reads

She plays with dead bugs, her favourite thing is playing with corpses of dead bugs in front of other bugs

She has a pink bed and her room is always spotless

she loves alastors cooking, she refuses to eat lucifers food if alastor has cooked something too

straight, during pride she puts an excessive amount of pride flags everywhere, every different type too, the hotel is covered in them.

Arackniss

him and angel tease each other alot. arackniss mainly teases him for being in love with a red deer.

he confesses first to pentious, and pentious is a flustered mess.

hes overprotective with the egg bois, he kinda freaks if one is missing

smokes in the hotel lobby even tho charlie hates it, vaggie yells at him all the time for it

he always needs pentious' tail wrapped around at least one of his legs to sleep, the contact gives him comfort

he loves tying pentious up during sex

Cherri bomb

Baxter

autism!!!!

if you touch anything in his lab he will have a meltdown- everything has its own perfect place and it cannot be adjusted.

he accidentally blows up his lab alot, it causes alot of hotel damage

he uses his little light to read at night

definitely believes in some crazy ass conspiracy theories

only at the hotel to research the whole redemption thing.

he loves leviathan

tells people to eat spoonfuls of vegemite as a prank, when alastor enjoys it she doesn't find it funny anymore and stops

Vox

when people piss her off she speaks with a real hardcore aussie accent and uses alot of slang, also talks fast.

she is aboriginal :3

she secretly watches bluey with angeldust

she absolutely loves making people try australian snacks like fairy bread, jaffas, pavlova, sausage sangas, smiths chips on a sandwich ect

pentious and her are besties!

(i love my aussie girl <3 none of you are allowed to disagree with me because these are my headcannons)

glitches when hes about to cum

Velvette

gets overheated during sex sometimes so he has to stop to cool down

his penis is robotic and it can pop off and back on. he has a bunch of different ones he can use, val can choose what one he uses.

listens to musicals and sometimes performs them with val, specifically heathers

hes really jealous of angeldust, he wants val's attention as much as he can possibly get it

Vel & val play video games on vox's screen sometimes. Velvette always beats him at whatever theyre playing cos that fucker is blind

Valentino

Prefers having sex with women, only man she really ever fucks is vox, most the time she just fucks her models.

practices makeup on valentino, also constantly makes fun of him for being blind & bald

she does drag with valentino and they out on little fashion shows for vox

He can only see 3 metres in front of him

Vox and vel have to help him with paperwork

Vox gets mad at him because of how many cords he has lying around

has the most insane sex toy collection, he has everything.

he vents to vox's sharks sometimes. he knows vox can hear him but he just pretends he doesnt know

ty for taking the time to read!!! drink water and eat today darling!!! <33

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annymation · 4 months

Text

The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite

Chapter 6- And The Star Answered

Chapter 5

She stopped, her arm was being held back by a large hand.

Asha’s heart was beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings.

She didn’t want to look back, she was too afraid to look and see the king’s face-

“Asha… We were all waiting for you. Are you okay?”

That wasn’t the king’s voice, it was a gentle and genuinely worried voice, that was

“… Simon?”

Asha turned around, and sure enough, Simon was holding her arm.

And Asha’s other 6 friends were by his side, they were all very worried about her.

“Why are you crying? What happened in there??” Hal rushed over to dry her tears.

“Did you just break out of the dungeon?!? By yourself?!? How did you do that???” Gabo tripped over his words

“For the LAST TIME, GABO! They would NEVER throw Asha in a dungeon for just raising her voice at them, they’re too nice for that!” Dahlia explained like that was just common sense.

And in any other kingdom, yeah it probably would be common sense, but Asha knew that wasn’t the case in Rosas.

Knowing what she knows now.

“Everyone please, let's all calm down and go talk somewhere quieter, then Asha can tell us what happened” Bazeema chimed in meekly

But Asha didn’t want to calm down and talk, no, she wanted to be alone, she was in no condition to talk with anyone.

“I- I gotta go! I can’t talk with you guys right now…”

She tried to run away again but Simon kept holding her arm, not in a way that hurted though

“Why? We just wanna help. Did they say something that made you upset?” Simon asked very concerned

Dario ran to be in front of Asha so she could see him signing to her “We’re with you on this, you did the right thing speaking up about your grandpa’s wish”

Her friends kept talking all at the same time over each other

But Asha's mind was somewhere else

How can she explain this to them?

“I- I understand wanting to be alone, Asha, I really do, but you’re clearly under a lot of stress” Bazeema stammered through her words.

That everything they've known was a lie…

“You can count on us, we’ll always be on your side” Dahlia tried to soothe her best friend

Would they even believe it?

“Just breathe, we know you didn’t do anything wrong” said Safi

And if they did, then what? They’re just a group of teens, it’s not like there’s anything they can do.

“You’ve always been there for us, so we are NOT leaving your side till you’re feeling better” Hal said determined

Asha is in danger because she knows the king’s secret, she CAN’T risk putting her friends in danger too

Gabo was the only one who didn’t look worried, he was angry, not at Asha, but at the two monarchs who made his best friend cry

“Was that narcissistic dolt rude to you?! If so, I’mma get in that castle RIGHT NOW and give him a piece of my min-“

“NO!” Asha screamed “WHATEVER YOU DO, DONT TALK TO THEM!” She was scared out of her mind.

Asha’s friends were startled, they finally went silent

Asha lowered her voice but kept trying to struggle out of Simon’s grip

“I- I’m sorry. Simon, please, let go of me— I gotta go”

“Go where!?” Dahlia asked

“I- i’ll be fine, really, I just need to be alone for a while, okay?”

Simon, for the first time since the day he gave away his wish 3 years ago, raised his voice:

“I’m not letting go till you tell us what you did!”

… What SHE did?…

Asha looked at him straight in the eyes, no longer just sad and scared, but also angry

“You wanna know what happened so badly?! What happened is that THEY WON’T GRANT MY WISH AT ALL!”

She stepped on Simon’s foot.

He let go of her.

She ran, pushing Dario and Safi out of her way in the process

“ASHA WAIT!!!” Dahlia screamed

Hal, Dario and Gabo started running after her, but of course Gabo threw one last piece of sass while running

“VICTIM BLAMING huh Simon?? Because THAT’S definitely the best way to calm down your crying friend! Great job buddy!” He said sarcastically and angrily to Simon while he ran after Asha.

(Gabo spitting facts)

All the others who stayed behind look sad, but Simon looks the saddest.

Asha can hear her friends calling her as she runs away from the castle, but she keeps running without looking back

Dario, Hal and Gabo eventually lose sight of her.

As Asha runs she keeps seeing the royals faces literally everywhere.

All her life that felt natural, why wouldn’t the people of Rosas want to paint their beloved rulers faces on the floors, walls and have statues of them everywhere?

But now, now that she knows who they really are, seeing how the people are obsessed with them is terrifying.

Eventually, after A LOT of running, she leaves the kingdom

She reaches the forest

Valentino is hopping after her with his little baby goat legs

Tears are running down her face non stop

Asha felt trapped, hopeless, desperate

She knew that by morning “her wish” will be granted

And she’ll lose her free will, her friends and her own sense of self

The king and queen will steal all of that from her and there’s nothing she can do about it.

Eventually she trips and falls on the floor

We get a shot similar to this one from Snow White

She sobs in the darkness

Valentino is now next to her, trying to help her feel better by licking her hand

That actually helps her a little, at least she’s not completely alone

She sits down and Valentino comes lay down on her lap

(Seriously little things like this make Valentino MILES better than he was in the movie, movie Valentino didn’t do ANYTHING to help Asha emotionally)

She starts petting him and takes some deep breaths

“Should I have told them?” She asks Valentino “... I wanted to, but– then what? It's not like there's anything we can do to stop them, we're just some teens…”

Valentino interrupts her bleating loudly, with a frustrated expression

She finally smiles a little bit “Right, some teens and a goat hehe…” she pets Valentino some more, her look becomes distant again “… I don’t know what to do…”

She feels a turmoil of emotions that she can’t put into words

And what does a Disney protagonist does when emotions are too strong for words?

… They sing

Sooo yeah, here’s my version of This Wish, enjoy!

Purple lines are Asha, of course

Orange is my commentary and describing what’s going on in the scene

Should’ve listened to my own instincts

No time to cry for what could have been

If I could show them everything I've seen

Open their eyes to all the lies then

Would they believe in me or in them?

(Asha begins singing still laying on the floor, she takes her sketchbook and at "Would they believe in me or in THEM" we see a drawing of the king and queen, she sketched them a few times since there's images of them all over Rosas so she might as well practice drawing poses using their likeness, right?)

Cause’ when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down"

But how can I when I've already started runnin'?

All I wanted to do

Was grant my wish on my own

But now that wish’s stolen and, I am all alone

(So when she sings "Started running" she gets up. And she walks through the forest, she's looking down as she walks looking very sorrowful)

So I look up at the stars to guide me

For I know they can send me a sign

If knowing what it could be is what drives me

Then let me be the first to stand in line

(“THROWING CAUTION TO EVERY WARNING SIGN”IS SUCH A WEIRD LYRIC AND IT COULD’VE BEEN FIXED SO EASILY! I NEVER STUDIED MUSIC WRITING IN MY LIFE AND I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT REPLACEMENT IN A SECOND WTF DISNEY!?)

(*ahem* so anyway, she looks up, now recollecting her hopes but... Once she looks up, there are no stars in the sky, because she's deep in the forest and all she sees are the tree leaves... So this is Asha's goal in this song, she's looking for a star to wish upon, she's trying to get out of the darkness)

So I make this wish

Asking us for freedom, hope and bliss

So I make this wish

To have something more for us than this

(She keeps walking while looking up, searching for any star to be wished upon.)

(Now let me break down my personal favorite change here "Freedom, hope and bliss" these three words summarizes everything Asha wants for herself and everyone else: Freedom for herself, now that she knows the royals intend to imprison her, and also freedom for everyone else that is having their wishes changed; Hope, because she wants the people of Rosas to have hope that they can achieve their own wishes without the king's help; And bliss, the joy that comes with achieving your own desires, she wants that for herself and everyone else)

(As she sings the last line, she steps on a field of grass and some fireflies start floating around her)

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah

More than this, oh-ah-ah-ah

(The fireflies fly all around her and her smile returns to her face, as she regains a little bit of hope, she sings "More than this" with her hands on her chest)

For many years they’ve been fooling us all

Yeah, they said “We’ll protect you” while being our downfall

Now what’s a girl like me supposed to do?

How do you fight a king and queen? oh and they’ve got magic too!

(We have a bit of a time skip with Asha still walking around the forest, but as she does so she's flipping through the pages of her sketchbook, and tearing off all the ones that have sketches of King Magnifico and Queen Amable. She looks at each one angrily and crumbles the pages in her hands (I'll excuse littering this one time because the girl is going through the 7 stages of grief and is currently at anger))

And all I've got is reservations and hesitations

On where I should even begin

I'm past dipping my toes in

But I'm not, no, I'm not past diving in

If I could just be pointed in any given direction

On where to go and what to do

My legs are shaking, but my head's held high

The way you always taught me to

(Yeah no changes for this verse, it’s fantastically fitting for my rewrite, and the best part of the song in my opinion. As she’s walking in the woods she encounters many different paths, she looks at all of them unsure on which one to choose. She trusts her gut and picks one of them. Asha run through this path she chose and then… She finds the tree she and her grandfather used to sit on and wish upon the stars together)

So I look up at the stars to guide me

For I know they WILL send me a sign

I'm sure there will be challenges that find me

But I can take them on one at a time

(Her heart swells, she’s full of hope as she runs to that tree knowing without a doubt in her mind that she’ll get a sign on what to do. She climbs the tree determined, and upon reaching the top, she sees it, the first star she sees tonight.)

So I make this wish

Asking us for freedom, hope and bliss

So I make this wish

To have something more for us than this

(The star she’s looking at is not very bright at all, is barely noticeable in the vast night sky full of other brighter ones, but THAT little one is the one she chooses, and she puts all her heart on the wish she’s making to this star)

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah (so I make this wish)

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah-ah (to have something more)

More than this, oh, ah-ah-ah

So I make this wish

To have something more for us than this

The song ends.

We see the night sky... and suddenly... The tiny star that Asha was looking at starts getting brighter, bigger, until it's light engulfs the entire sky.

Asha closes her eyes.

The light proceeds to shine upon all the kingdom of Rosas, and everyone that is touched by that light is overtaken by a pleasant feeling of joy and warmth.

It's very faint, but if you listen closely you can hear the sound of a laughter, the most energetic and youthful laughter you can imagine.

We cut back to Asha, who notices that the light is getting... closer.

And it looks like a big ball of light.

Coming directly in her direction at high speed.

She screams as she quickly grabs Valentino and jumps off the tree branch to get cover.

The bright light passes flying over them and landing deep into the forest. A few animals run away from the place of impact.

Asha is laying down on the grass. Obviously VERY shocked.

Valentino is under her, excitedly trying to get out to check out what that was.

"... As if this day couldn't get any crazier, I almost get hit by a meteor... On my birthday " She's quite done with all of these emotions for the day. She stands up and starts dusting herself off "Come on Val, we better go before... Whatever THAT was starts a forest fire..."

(Any other Disney protagonist would be like "oooh whats that?" and answer the call to adventure, but our girl already had enough adventure for a life time and we are not even in the second act yet ladies and gentleman)

Asha had her eyes closed while she dusted herself off, so she didn't realize that while she was talking Valentino was already happily hopping to the source of the light

She looks to where Valentino was a second ago, aaaaand he's gone

"... Valentino?"

"Maaaa! Maaa! Maaaa"

She heard Valentino's bleating getting farther and farther away... Honestly what was she expecting?

"NO! VALENTINO!! Bad goat! We don't touch stuff that comes from space! IT BURNS!!!" She runs after him.

(Oh it's gonna burn you alright)

...

(Okay I knooooow ya'll are gonna hate me for this but... *sigh*)

We cut to the villains POV

Magnifico is getting ready to use his magic to open the tower's celling, thus releasing all the wishes to be granted that night.

But he stops when he realizes... The room is getting brighter.

He looks out the window and sees it, the light engulfing his whole kingdom.

He stares at it in shock

Once the light fades away, Magnifico is gazing out the window. His face no longer visible.

We hear the BLAM of a door opening violently, the queen is running towards her husband wearing a night gown, her long hair is loose.

"What on earth was that light?!” She speaks loudly, firm and precise, confident that her husband will know the answer.

Magnifico is, for the first time since they've met, not paying attention to her...

Nah his mind is somewhere else entirely.

He looks at the horizon trying to remember something, like a memory he has been repressing but now he really REALLY needs it...

Amaya notices his distant gaze and becomes worried "... Mi rei? Is everything alright?… You think it might be a threat?"

He keeps staring at nothing until suddenly…

He starts mumbling a poem, as if he's remembering the words as he speaks:

“Shining guide of old

Guiding hearts

As bright as gold

To a desire far too grand

To be granted by a mortal hand”

“… EXCUSE ME?!?” Amaya is now even more lost, what’s he talking about?

Magnifico proceeds to the next verse ignoring his wife’s reaction… It’s like he’s trying really hard to remember the whole thing.

“With hair like light

And eyes like prism

That see the truth

And speak through rhythm”

"Darling, what is this nonsense? You're scaring me" She sounds, for the first time in the story, genuinely scared

"Do not fret, they mean no harm

As all they bring is joy and warmth

So if you see the sUN AT NIGHT

KNOW A WISHING STAR IS CLOSE IN SIGHT"

He remembered. A sun at night. That was it.

He turned to his wife with the smile of a mad man.

"I KNEW IT!" He starts laughing maniacally as he lifts her up in his arms and starts twirling around the room

Amaya is not in the mood for his romantic acts at the moment tho

"PUT ME DOWN! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS???" She usually loves her husband's eccentricities but this is too much even for him

He puts her down and tries to calm himself, still laughing while holding her by the shoulders "Forgive me my love, but you have no idea what a joyous occasion this is!"

"Well, perhaps I would if you stopped and explained to me" She’s out of patience.

"Listen. I know what that light was, I've grew up with stories about what it means, it's a sign that a being with power beyond our imagination has arrived in our kingdom" He explains like it's the most amazing thing that has ever happened to them.

Her eyebrows raise "... In what WORLD that's a joyous occasion?!"

"Oh but you misunderstand my queen, that power can be OURS… if we play our cards right." A sinister grin forms on his face "I just need to find one of my father’s old books, so I may recall the spell to absorb the being’s power"

That get's her attention "I see... But what exactly is that being?"

"… A Star" He says it in whisper as he starts walking out the room, his steps become quicker the closer he gets to the door "You may go to bed without me darling, it will take me all night to find that blasted book, but it’ll be worth it!"

"ALL NIGHT?! But, darling I-"

But he already left the room

"Oh this is going to be GREAT, just you wait my beldam! Sweet dreams!"

His voice gets farther and farther away as he runs down the stairs

Leaving a very perplexed and alone queen in the wishes room.

Magnifico won't be granting any wishes tonight.

(*phew* okay at least the scene with them is brief and it builds up Aster more with the poem... Btw did you guys like the poem? I think it turned out pretty sweet)

So we cut back to Asha's POV

Valentino pops out of some bushes, he's a few feet away from the source of the light

Asha finally catches him

"GOTCHA! HAha-" She sees what fell from the sky. It a blob of light and sparkly dust that shifts and moves around... Like it's trying to take shape "oh… wow"

She picks Valentino in her arms slowly while still staring in awe to the mysterious light.

"This is... Definitely NOT a meteor... We better go, this thing might be dan-"

A hand pops out of the light and grabs the floor.

Asha get's startled by that and hides behind the bushes.

She watches as the light keeps changing shape, she's scared but she's also... Curious.

The light forms a second arm, and then, with now both arms, it starts using them to shape the rest of itself, like a it's playing with clay.

After trying a few different body types the light takes the shape of a 5 feet tall skinny young individual, but yet with no features.

the now "teenager shaped" light starts to manifest clothes on his body, a black outfit reminiscent of something Asha would often see a prince wear in her fairytale books when she was little.

Then a large cape emerges from his back, flowing in the air with a trail of stardust underneath it.

His whole body starts coloring itself, his skin is no longer made of light, he has tan brown skin.

The only part of them that is still emitting light is his hair, that dances around slightly like the flame of a candle.

After ALL that (that would probably be a pretty quick transformation sequence, think of it like in Steven universe when the gems reform) he is now floating with his back turned to Asha, who is still hiding behind the bushes.

Asha is staring at all this no longer scared but more so intrigued, she looks closer and she realizes that somehow the boy looks like... A drawing... A moving drawing

He is 2D while everything else is animated in 3D

The being then finally speaks, while stretching their whole body:

"WOOOAH HAHAHA Okayyyyy I definitely underestimated how high up I was hahah!" It's a voice full of energy, like they can't contain their excitement, he stretches himself out some more as if to get used to their new form "Wow that was a rough landing hehehe but hey! Not too bad for my first time!"

(I picture him being voiced by Jordan Fisher but you're free to picture any voice you'd like)

The young man is gleefully laughing to himself.

He seems distracted enough for Asha to run away, so she get's up holding Valentino.

But almost as soon as she turns around she's now face to face with the boy flying above her, he's upside down. He gazes at her with bright eyes that seem to sparkle like the night sky and smiling ear to ear.

"Hi there! I heard you cal-"

"AAAAH!!!"

Asha backs away and accidentally let's go of Valentino. The goat prepares to jump on star to attack him with his little baby goat horns

"Woah woah buddy it's alright, I'm here to help-"

Aaaaand I'll just let this piece of concept art speak for itself:

"hahHAAHA that tickled" The star says while he's reforming himself back to his original shape.

Valentino looks upset that his attempt to protect Asha didn't work.

The star notices that and tries to make him feel better "Hey don't be sad, I'm sure you can land a hit on me, come on try again!" He says genuinely, like a big brother trying to be encouraging.

Valentino does try again, and this time the star makes himself fall on the floor upon being hit "OOH I've been defeated oh nooo hehehe" He says playfully while lifting Valentino up in his arms, whose now very proud of himself.

Asha watches all of this play out and she goes from scared to endeared by the boy's child like demeanor with Valentino, it's pretty obvious now that he means no harm.

She approaches them slowly looking down on the boy playing with her goat. She's still unsure what to expect but she really wants to understand what this is all about, what he is all about.

The star notices her approaching and stops playing with the goat, they gaze up to her with a beaming smile. Now Valentino is just bleating while standing on his chest like he's asking to play more.

It's an interesting contrast that now he's the one who's bellow gazing up to her, when a few minutes ago she was the one looking up to wish upon them.

"H-hi there" This time it's Asha's turn to say it, she gives the star a little wave.

He seems surprised upon hearing her voice, like it's the first time they hear a voice from up close... Well, because it is, this is the first time a human speaks directly to them... and its HER voice.

A few flowers start growing and blooming around where he's laying down. He realizes that and just reacts with a:

"Huh... Didn't know I could do this... Wonder what else can I do" The star says that second part in a whisper.

The star get's up with Valentino in his arms and hands him back to Asha

"I'm awfully sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." He notices a firefly flying close to Asha and starts trying to catch it, he’s flying around but still explaining the situation to her

She’s just watches them trying to catch the firefly kinda amused, it’s cute how easily distracted he is.

"See, I just got so thrilled when I heard you calling me that I completely forgot I had to choose what shape I’d take BEFORE I landed here heh heh that was weird, wasn't it?" The star manages to catch the firefly in his hands, his smiles widens as they look at the little bug closely, he’s fascinated by it.

"... Called you? I didn't call you, I don't even know your name" Asha says while studying him with her eyes, she's mostly amazed that he looks like a drawing but at the same time has dimension to him.

The star turns to her in surprise, like she just reminded him of something really important

"Oh yeah! I need a name, don't I? Hmmm" They ponder a little bit like he's deciding "I think I'll call myself... Aster, yeah that sounds nice, and fitting too since it means star." He says casually, looking around as they speak.

Aster starts flying around the woods, wanting to take a closer look at each little detail with wonder in their eyes, but still speaking to Asha, who’s watching him fly around amazed by the sight

"And of course you called me! You looked at me and wished for more, to yourself and your people, remember?”

Aster starts flying faster and faster, we see a trail of star dust coming out of his cape, leaving waves of light around the woods. He speaks louder so Asha can still hear:

“I'm so glad you wished upon me out of everyone else by the way! Thank you!... You were the first to do so in a while" Aster speaks that last line with a subtle hint of pain in his voice, but he’s still smiling.

Asha starts out very confused by what he's saying but slowly starts to connect the dots, her eyes widen and her jaw drops once the realization hits her.

"Wait hold on, you're- Are you telling me you’re a... A star?!" She exclaims in awe with a wide smile on her face.

Aster flies back to Asha and stops above her head, floating upside down

“You guessed it!”

Chapter 7

Final Thoughts

THIS CHAPTER TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET IT RIGHT!! Not only because I wanted it to be perfect but also because I've been so busy these past few days!

ASTER IS SUCH A SWEETIE I LOVE MY BOY SO MUCH!!! FIRST THING HE DOES IS PLAY WITH VALENTINO AND THAT IMMEDIATELY MAKES ASHA WARM UP TO HIM BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU NOT TRUST A GUY THAT PLAYS WITH BABY ANIMALS?!

Also Aster forgetting that he had to manifest a human like appearance before crashing down on earth is the equivalent of you going for your first day on a job NAKED and then you dress up there in front of your boss, like the boy is THAT excited to get there.

Did you catch that Aster quoted two Disney characters? He made a few flowers bloom and said “What else can I do” like Isabela from Encanto, and then he said “I’m awfully sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you” which is a line Prince Phillip says in Sleeping Beauty when he meets Aurora, expect a lot more references like these coming from him. He’s not gonna speak only in Disney quotes all the time but I’ll sprinkle some references in his dialogue here and there.

And speak of him SPEAKING I might make a whole blog explaining why Jordan Fisher is hands down the best choice to voice an embodiment of magic and joy, because that man is not only AN AMAZING SINGER but also just the sweetest person alive, and he’s so underrated! If you don’t know him then look him up on Spotify or YouTube, but here’s an example of him singing: https://youtu.be/KsRi-Aj9fQs?si=RRI8Jvy7AT9EA5_u

youtube

It still cracks me up how my version of Magnifico is literally a fun house mirror version of movie Magnifico.

Like Movie Mag was like “oooh noo, what was th-that scary light😣? Someone threatened meee 🥺 I’m so scared I’m gonna use dark magic even though I’m not even sure if it was a bad thiiiing” while my Magnifico is like “*recites mysterious poem* LETS GOOOO AMAYA LETS GOOOOOOO!!! THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THATS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR WOOOOOO!! *leaves with no explanation*” like what a chad. And I don’t even have to explain how Movie and Amaya and Queen Amable are opposites because come on.

I reallyyyy hope you guys enjoyed this little taste of Aster I’ve gave here, because next chapter will be aaaaall about them and Asha, so look forward to that! And as always

Thank You For Reading!

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