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so2collection · 9 months

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Star Ocean: Blue Sphere Beginner’s Guide

Introduction: I've been on a bit of a Star Ocean kick lately, and thought I'd take my hand at writing a Blue Sphere "Tips for Beginners!" type guide (based on the English ROM translation)... With Second Story R coming out soon, I figure that more people will be interested in Blue Sphere, too.

I hope my experience and the tips here help you on your adventure!

I played the game once before, but the save data was on an old computer... I want to add it to a list of titles I've completed!

Read more advice/tips under the cut! I’ll provide general tips on how to learn things, what characters to use, Private Actions, and other things! :)

Which characters to use? To start, you can pick your roster out of a few characters. Generally, Dias and Chisato are the best fighters. Precis excels at Item Creation. You'll want Celine if you plan to play late/post-game content.

However, for the first section I recommend taking Ashton. He is also a good fighter and I hear he's easy to combo with. If you've read interviews with the devs, they recommend Ashton and Precis as the game was originally made around them and one other character (they forgot) but eventually added everyone due to popularity. :)

Anyway, I recommend Ashton because he learns Cooking the fastest of anyone, according to seiju-info, a website I will have to reference often due to the lack of English resources. I'll also reference GameFAQs. You'll want cooking early on and you can buy a frying pan in the first town. Fol is very difficult to get in this game as you only earn SP from battles, no cash. I'll explain this more in depth later.

For a dungeon walkthrough, I found this GameFAQs guide useful

If you can, also use the maps on GameFAQs or purchase your own copy of the Star Ocean: Blue Sphere Final Guide. It has full-color maps, but is fully in Japanese. Still, I found it useful, especially in the dungeons. According to the devs, the dungeons got a lot of 'feedback' from fans... and for good reason. They're kind of long and annoying lol but if you're a Star Ocean fan, especially of 2, I think you should give this title a shot. It was made to bridge the wait for Star Ocean 3, but I'm using it as a bridge between my playthrough of Second Story I recently finished again and the remake... :)

I’m not learning new moves / spells?

If you're wondering why certain characters aren't gaining new moves, it's probably one of the following: you aren't making combos, you're levelling the wrong Skill section, for mages you aren't using a variety of spells, or you haven't created their moves through Machinery. These are specific to each character. For my party of Dias, Precis, and Celine... (Dias: combos, Precis: machinery, Celine: the right skill tree / learning the lost magic skill).

I can say at the beginning of this, I don't understand how the skill trees work at all. Just level the 2 the character is good at (Dias is Sense and Battle for example). This is important because if you leveled Dias in Knowledge, it would block off Battle if you raise Sense too high.

Technology VS Sense and Battle VS Knowledge

So, for Dias, we would level Sense (so you get Psychometry to get his ultimate skills with combos), Battle, then put any points into one of the others.

Celine needs to have certain stats met and use a spell x number of times to "spark" the next spell. For her ultimate spells, she needs to level Knowledge for Lost Magic. However, if you want her to have the highest INT and forego her final spell (which isn’t worth the increase from Boost) look at Technical instead.

Mages won't learn new magic using spells on their own, you must control them / spam specific spells, so it's good to use low level enemies to learn new spells.

Item Creation tips

That's why it's good to have some reserve characters for Item Creation, such as Ashton for Cooking. Why Ashton? Well, he learns it the quickest. There really aren't any charts availible for this, but each character unlocks different skills as you level them; it is not like the original game where you get to choose. He learns the 3 skills required the fastest by unlocking them the earliest.

Think of it this way: pick 3-4 of the characters to use in battle and use the rest for only Item Creation! Because of the teleport function, it’s easy to switch them out.

Each Item Creation skill has a mini-game involved. It only uses the directional buttons and you can master the quickest/best way to do them easily. Cooking, with the Frying Pan for example, is right (short time), left (short time), right (long time) as you “flip” the ingredients. You don’t want them to burn or spill. I’ll go more in-depth with these as I unlock them myself.

Celine is one of the best characters to learn Alchemy. We will need it towards the end to make the elusive Blue Sphere for ultimate weapons.

Private Actions - How To?

Private Actions are few in this game and require very specific character conditions! If a PA says “OUT” that character must NOT be in the active party. If it says IN, they must be in the active party.

They also can happen pretty much anywhere: in towns, dungeons, ect.

How to play? General strategy?

To switch characters in battle, use Select.

To use items in battle, press Start.

To defend in battle, press the down arrow.

Break objects (tables, chairs, some plants) to sometimes find items.

If an enemy is too tough or blocking a path (that isn't a boss) you can attempt to run by moving to the far right of the screen. If you fail, your character runs out of their hidden stamina stat for awhile. If you win, the enemy disappears and you can snag any treasure / move on with ease.

PA's don't have any indicator. It's like talking to your comrades around a town and everything, but it feels more like an NPC interaction than a traditional Star Ocean PA. Because of the character IN/OUT (of active party) requirements, they can be easy to miss.

Forest / Crash Site

Bowman is also useful until you get to the Scout Village (Herb Gathering on the candy cane striped plants). To gather some herbs and to view Bowman's PA, exit Scout village and cut down the bush to the left. There will be a path where you can see the long-leaf stripey plants that Bowman can harvest. If he's not in the party, talk to him and initiate the PA.

Private Action - Forest / Crash Site - Bowman (OUT) - Bowman gives you herbs.

Bowman references the Metox, saying it's a very powerful herb :p

Scout Village

Private Action - Scout Village - Precis (OUT) - Precis is looking for parts to repair the ship.

Sometime during the Mile Ruins (maybe before?), if you have an herb, one will randomly be selected if you talk to the boy near the entrance of Scout Village. You will get a Kitchen Knife (used for Cooking) in exchange.

Fuck this NPC in particular. Get the Hell out of the way, bro!!

Mile Ruins

Finish the Mile Ruins. Don't forget to use the bomb on the crack in the wall to turn the elevators back on, especially to visit the 6th floor for some good items like earrings for Celine. There are other areas that require the Pull Field Skill and Precis' Hover, so you'll have to come back later on for the other items.

Vending Machine 1st Floor - Give it a lighter touch to get a useless but one-of-a-kind ??? Jam you can’t get anywhere else.

Check drawers for items and fol!

When you get out, go to the shops in the back of town. The left shop should have a discount, so buy some blueberries and a Frying Pan. Also buy Meat. Level up Ashton in Knowledge, Sense, and Tech until he learns the 3 skills for Cooking (Good Eye, Recipe, and he should start with Kitchen Knife) (If you're having trouble selling items, remember to scroll right to sell from other item categories; took me a little time to figure out. For the mini-game, gently move left to right and try to aim for the flipping food, because if you drop it it takes time which lowers your overall score. Try to aim for over 100.) If you can't afford meat to make steak, I highly recommend using the vegetables (which she usually has one sale, too!) to make Twice Cooked Pork and Amazing Vegetable Stir Fry, which also sells for a lot of Fol.

The shop on the left has Bombs if you need them (you'll need at least 1 to clear the path on the lower right of town). He will also give you the Bunny Comm.

There's a PA we can do. Ashton IN, Dias OUT. Kick out Dias and grab Precis and we can use her Pull ability to get some of the items we missed.

Private Action - Mile Ruins - Ashton (IN) / Dias (OUT) - The two reflect on their swordsmanship. Particularly, that weakness comes with aging. This also opens up another PA later in the game.

If you also teach Precis Machinery, you can learn Hover by making a Nuclear Jet. I think Machinery needs to be at level 5 to learn it. Don't bother learning it now, though, as we can't buy any soldering irons...

Rupart Jungle

Before you descend into the jungle you can trigger a fight with a Baboon. He's a little difficult but he gives a whopping 20 SP per fight and is a good spot to grind up characters if you need to. Just heal for free at the ship or the old man with the kid's house and save before fighting it each time. I did this 3-4 times just to have some extra SP handy (and it should be enough to teach Precis Machinery Lv 5, but again, no soldering iron yet...) You may want to invest it in Dias Sense skills instead. I've been leveling Celine's Knowledge, since that's what she needs to max out first. In one fight Dias and Precis were dead and I used Firebolt, which sparked Celine's Starlight spell! She also has Bless and I don't think she started with it, but I'm not sure when I learned it.

Spell - Starlight - Celine - Requires: Monstrology Learned, Use Firebolt in battle

A lot of enemies in Rupart Jungle are difficult, but save often and you'll manage. Once you talk to the guys about the permit for the two ruins, continue to Ava City. We can finally buy a soldering iron here, so you can have Precis learn Machinery lv 5 and then score around 200 points and create the item (save scumming is recommended...). Make sure to restock any items you need. Do some cooking and upgrade your equipment, too.

Garp Ruins

In the Garp ruins I used Dias, Ashton *required for his Fire Breath field action, and Noel. Some of the enemies are tough. You'll also want to bring a few bombs, mostly for the room behind the boss.

After the ruins I leveled Precis' Machinery to 6... It makes the soldering iron faster in the mini-game, the higher the level... but after two hours I still can't manage to get Hover (I barely score 110 points most of the time, because the iron is so wobbly...) On the bright side I made some money and got a lot of Opera's KMs, so that will be nice when I get her.

Note: I did give it one last shot, and wouldn't you know, I got the Hover ability... I didn't even score that high of points, so I'm confused? I did learn that the farther away a node is / more diagonal it is, the more points you earn, so perhaps it's advantageous to wait for further/diagonal nodes? I wish you luck obtaining the Nuclear Jet for Hover! I'll make a short trip back to the Mile Ruins and Garp Ruins and get items I missed, then go return to Ava City and talk to the Jabba the Hut Man again lol

We finally see a little plot in this game...!

Leviabor Ruins (First Trip)

The Leviabor Ruins sucked. I think everyone knows that lol I used Dias, Precis, and Celine but I highly recommend bringing Noel instead. Celine learned Energy Arrows, though, which helped a bit! I only did the required floors for the time being and I've been focusing on maxing out each characters main skill branch for now.

I sold a bunch of Gold ingots for like 8k Fol... IDK if I'll need any later (I'm sure they can be made with Alchemy) but I didn't feel like putting athritis-hands through the riggamaroll of Cooking.

Spell - Wind Blade - Celine - Requires: INT 12, Use Firebolt in battle Spell - Energy Arrows - Celine - Requires: MP 160+ / Resistance learned, Use Starlight in battle

Speaking of, I haven't learned any new KMs for Dias. I can't combo at all. I couldn't even combo with Ashton, who is supposedly the easiest... so yeah, late game is gonna be rough.

Ava City (After free from prison)

Remember the girl you saved and got sent to Leviabor prison for? If you talk to her boyfriend, he gives you an item based o what console you are playing on (Gameboy gives a Might Chain... Gameboy Color gives a ???. I'm using Gameboy Advance emulator, so I got a Lunar Talisman)

Yay, Ernest! I guess... I probably won't use him...

I kind of forgot about PAs, so here's some I did to take a break before the Gravis Forest. I remember my last playthrough I did this forest on the Super Gameboy and yeah... you thought it was bad in color. It's ten times worse when its limited to like, 2 colors... a monotone mess. If I didn't have the strategy guides I'd never get through it.

Private Action - Ava City - Bowman (IN) / Celine (OUT) - Bowman has a daughter! And her name is Erys! :o Notes: If done before recruiting Opera, you get this PA. If after, an Opera PA occurs instead. You can't get both according to the guide I'm looking at. Apparently this PA leads to more rare items late game as it unlocks a PA later.

Private Action - Ava City - Chisato (IN) / Celine (OUT) - Chisato helps the girl on the west side of town find a job to support the girl’s brothers. Unlocks a hidden shop. The secret weapon shop (below) has decent upgrades!

Go through Gravis Forest until you find the hideout, then talk to the soldier on the west side and show him the permit you got in Ava.

Gravis Forest Part 1

Follow the beetles

Look for the old man

Use a map

If you can combo, this place might be pretty easy. I can't get past 2 hits, so I focused on my mages and spamming Dias' basic attack to keep the apes in the second section from decimating my party...

Celine learned Curse during my time in the forest. Spell - Curse - Celine - Requires Fairyology - Spark with Firebolt

Spell - Bless - Celine- Start (I had her spark this, I swear... but the guide says she starts with it...)

Also, I don't really use Noel, but he learned a ton of spells including Dispel, which is very handy when you get confused by the beetles.

Spell - Dispel - Noel - Start (Oh, I didn’t notice...) Spell - Silence - Noel - Start (Really? I guess I was looking under Magic and not Technique...)

Apparently he starts with Bless, too? IDK

Hideout

In the hideout, it will be registered to your teleporter, so if you want to switch some characters around, go for it. There's an inn and a shop in the hideout as well, so restock and move on through part 2.

Gravis Forest Part 2

For the gorilla boss, Dias had HP around 450+ and I let him take hits because I can't combo to stop the arm spin. Try to use the Up+B combo to "kill" the arms first, if you can. When you're back at the hideout again, talk to the guy out front to heal and then save. The boss, Atlas, died with one shot of Celine's Thunderbolt... sure is nice to see anything do damage in this game. You'll be healed and sent to he Slave Village. Save again and prepare for another boss... Three of Celine's Thunderbolts took it out. :)

Slave Village

Private Action - Slave Village - Precis (OUT) That PA in Slave City with Precis should be open. Noel asks Precis what's the matter and offers her one of Chisato's snacks to cheer her up :) When that doesn't work, Noel starts calling a doctor (Bowman) for her. Precis finally spills her worries, about a friend named Latry (Razzly maybe?) who might forget... to record Precis' soap opera... Noel is not amused.

After the events on your second trip to Slave Village, you open a new path to Nusa Beach. On the far left you can flip some switches to make a shortcut back to the ship... for some reason, I guess.

We have some optional dungeons to do for now, so return to the ship/restock/ect.

Remember those soldiers outside Ava City blocking that dungeon? We can go now.

Ralph Ruins - Optional

Be careful where you step, it's similar to Gravis and that you can fall easily.

The wires on the lower levels seem impassable; all you need is someone with the Jump field action.

I recommend bringing Precis with Hover so you can reach some treasure and also not fall as often. This is especially useful for the conveyor belts just like in Leviabor. All I can say is just gather as many batteries as you can and on the basement level, look for a generator near a red snake in the bottom left of the overall map that says something like "activates elevator movement". Head as high as you can on the elevators and then all the way left you'll see the crab boss. You have to live long enough, but 3 Thunderbolts takes him out easily. *update note about Precis in conveyors in Leviabor.

Behind the boss is a treasure with the first of 10 Rings we need for the Cave of Trials. Although I'm not planning to do them... but we did miss one in Garvis forest. If you want, go back and get it now (look for unusual, square hole right of the entrance to the forest). If I have time, I’ll add a guide at the end for the rings and how to open the last dungeon (as well as Celine’s Telelport).

Crane Ruins - Optional

BRING A FULL STOCK OF BOMBS, you'll need them!

I highly recommend anytime you need to restock go to Scout village, because they often have sales on Blueberries and food ingredients. Plus, the bomb shop is right next to the item shop.

Crane Ruins are located south of Ava City (if you hit Slave Village you went too far, you need to go south, slightly east, south, and east again). Unfortunetly you need Precis (and a guide I saw recommended Ashton) for this dungeon, so you'll probably go with Dias, Ashton, and Precis... You could manage with Dias, Precis, and Noel, too. Celine is helpful for the machines and crabs, so if you don't need a healer, take her instead.

If you did that PA back in Mile Ruins, there's another with Ashton and Dias on the generator floor of the Crane Ruins. It's a shame you need Dias out, because you'll likely have to complete the dungeon and then return without him to see it. Luckily, it isn't too much of a feat.

Most of the enemies are easy here, except for the big rats. Try to avoid them and if you can't, use KMs if you have them or run.

The upper floors have blocks you have to move onto buttons. Make < style arrows with them in the direction of doors you want open on that floor. When you get Floor 2 and 3, you can combine them to move say, > right and ^ up, but there's just some treasure here. Your goal is B1. You'll need Swim/Dive and Hover makes it easier. Collect the treasure by hovering to all the platforms and then take it section by section and dive for treasure. If you activate the generators on the bottom floor, you can also open up stairs to a boss. I tried a few times but Dias wasn't even scratching him, so I gave up for now. I'll come back to that ugly green bastard later.

Ocean Cave (Nusa Beach) - Optional

The final optional dungeon (Ocean Cave) is in Nusa Beach (go South as far as you can, if you got to Vanis city you didn't go far enough; look for the barnacles) and you need Swim/Dive to complete that, so chances are you'll be taking Precis then. I did check and other characters can learn it, but not as easy (well, Dias at least) but I'll just drag Precis along... I'm gonna gripe about it in my review, but it really sucks how you're forced to carry around Precis as an HM slave, since she sucks so much in battle. 99% of the time she's just dead in fights because it isn't worth the 5 blueberries to heal her. I think if they ever remake this game, there should be some sort of machine to carry around the abilities instead, so you don't waste a slot. Or, even better, a way to switch characters from the ship to your active party in dungeons... It would increase your options and this game is all about not giving you any options. For example, combos being the only way to give fighters more KMs is bad design. Not that they would have MP to use them anyway, because the ideal way to level them gives no MP increases... Just... bad design.

This is how an average fight is going for me. Fun! :(

I'm ranting a lot at this point because this Ocean Cave was my third dungeon that day and I was just burnt out and exhausted of enemies that take 5 minutes to kill, keep respawning, ect. Even with a map, knowing what to do is confusing. I went and found a lever I couldn't flip and a door that needs the lever to open? But then I read in the guide you need a keycard.... So this morning, that's where I'm at. Bored, tired, and I just want the game to give me a break.

The Ocean Cave is added into the teleporter, so feel free to leave/return for supplies if you need to. I decided to go back, use some SP, and experiment with Smithing. Longsword + Meteorite (50 Point Score) should make a stronger sword, but we don't have Meteorite. *sigh* So my thought process was, well, I'm taking damage, so maybe I'll make better armor.

Enchantment Use the chart on this site to determine the Armor latent value.

How it works: Armor + Source = Better Armor. Each Armor has a set amount of points needed to make it based on the formula below. I'll use the example the guide provided me. Formula: Armor Latent Points + Score Divided by 2 = Total Score (The Total Score determines what you get) Magic Resist Armor (35 latent points) + Score of 27 or higher Divided by 2 = 31 Total Score = Resist Armor possible.

I want to make a Duel Suit, as it's one of the best armors... So I used: Resist Armor (25) + Score of 125 or more = 150 Divided by 2 = 75 Total Score in theory should get a Duel Suit... (Note: I couldn’t get the score high enough, so no... I think I need Titania Source and max level for Enchantment...)

I'm not entirely clear how Sources play into the calculation, but they seem to provide some sort of bonus when scoring points? So, save scum and use rare Sources to easily create high level armor. (High level sources: Elf, Dark Elf, Titania)

I tried for a little while, but the two just kept swapping between Resist/Magic armor. I think I need Celine's Enchantment level higher (it's only 4) to make the mini-game easier, so we may as well get back to the dungeon and get some SP for that.

Back at the Ocean Cave... The keycard we need is on the third floor. Try to hang left for most of the time and you should reach it across a tiny water section. I went to where the guide said the card was and was back at the lever, which I could magically pull now. I have no idea what's going on (perhaps you have to examine the door on the lower level first, which is bullshit) but we should be able to move forward now. At the statue room, pull all the levers except the reset, go down the stairs, hop down, pull the green blocks, and drop down. You can unlock the door for later (you have to return with Teleport to get the treasure... ughhhh) and go fight the boss who is easier than almost every enemy in the damn cave. Grab the chest behind it and leave so we can go do the story again.

I will say, it is nice we get to see an Edifian as a reward for this bonus dungeon... So there's that.

Vanis City

Don't waste money on the Elf Sources; you'll be able to buy the good ones soon.

I've been wondering where Opera is too. :( She's my favorite character, so imagine how sad I was that you can't use her for half of this game. Speaking of, this is almost the half way point. Not including resets and deaths, I've logged about fifteen hours playtime, so seems about right. The shops don't offer any better weapons, but there is some better armor for your mages. Get that when you can.

Private Action - Ashton OUT Noel IN - Ashton's feeling a little hopeless and Noel tries to cheer him up.

Private Action - Leon OR Opera IN, Ernest OUT - (I used Leon) They discuss how strange the planet feels (as if man-made) and how Edifice compares to Expel.

Private Action - Chisato OUT - Chisato has one line that just says Vanice City is kinda peaceful.Talk to the guy in the bar and we learn Opera is researching with another scientist in the City of Knott. Head South of town once you're ready.

Road to Knott

Bring a few bombs. Most of the enemies are easy.

Don’t walk forward on the beautiful screen above... you take damage lol

Ah, the infamous

Ruddle sidequest

begins. If you explore thoroughly, you'll find him on the way.

Please use CTR F to find my updated guide later (See: Scream), because I made an error here.

Spell - Noel - Cure Light - Requirements: INT 40+ stats, spark with Heal Spell - Noel - Fairy Heal - Requirements; INT 70+ stats, spark with Cure Light

Noel knows this game is gonna ramp up, huh?

Knott

The Blue Sphere, huh? I’ll be back for you, sir.

Oh my god we finally get new boots and a new weapon for Dias. There's also Rune Bucklers, if you haven't gathered enough from dungeons for your mages. You can also buy the Dark Elf Sources now, so level up someone in Enchantment (Celine is difficult because you need to max her Tech first... so you can't level it to max, but you can get it high level) and try to craft some better armor.

Speaking of, Dias and Celine have 2-3 of their skills maxed in their primary category. I have been avoiding battles on the Road to Knott, so I may go back and train. The plants are fairly easy and they give around 35 SP each.

Enchantment, attempt 2

It took me about 10 resets to get a Magic Armor and a Dark Elf Source to become a Magic Resist Armor. I had to score 50 to get it. The trick is finding the 3rd checkpoint (when the cane glows white) before the timer runs out. When I tried again with the Magic Resist and a Dark Elf Source, after only 1 checkpoint I somehow got the Nexus Armor... I don't get it, either, you guys... Ideally I want another Nexus Armor and something stronger for Celine. I created a Mithril Coat for Celine and it seems if you get checkpoints in the center, it scores higher. Part of this may just be luck. I wish I understood it better...

I’m on my way! Woosh~

Knott Secret Ruins

Once you're ready head into the laboratory of Knott (top right of city) through the 2nd room on the right, at the back. I can't help much with the dungeon, so please follow a guide.

Opera and Dias are my favorite characters... I feel re energized, even if I can’t use her in battle right now... (You CAN use her, but there isn’t any reason to over Dias, sadly.)

After you run into Opera, go down another floor, move the switch to the left in the first room (I used Noel with Pull because I wasn’t taking Precis again if I didn’t have to) and then head down a few times and you'll be at the boss. When you get to the room with the two big long-nosed blue guys (Carlas???) use Celine's Thunderbolt to take them out and save before going through the bottom right door.

In a random battle I accidentily used Bless instead of Thunderbolt. Celine got Anti.

Spell - Anti - Celine - Requires: RES 50+ stats, spark with Bless

Spell - Magnum Tornado - Noel - Requires INT 45+ - Spark with Wind Blade

I love how Rival casually is like "let's look for the LOTR stone!" and we just go with it.

I think I have trauma from the “join event” text from Star Ocean: the Second Story Ending 86 Guide I made... ;__;

The boss isn't too bad. Celine's Thunderbolt takes out a few parts. Finish him off with Dias forward stab regular attack and you should be good. I did have to heal a few times with Noel. After the fight, grab the Palantir and teleport back to the ship, restock, and then go find Rival in Knott.

Knott (again) lol Meet with Rival. She explains that she met Opera while looking for new discoveries. Rival is trying to find some ancient spaceship and asks everyone to go explore ruins. (For real, we should have just taken parts from Knott and fixed our ship and GTFO lol we have to help her because Opera helped her... oh, wait, no, we said Rival helped Opera after she crash landed... sure lol Opera only saved Rival from some rando rolly polly. Whatever. We have to go meet a guy at the bar in Vanis City.

Vanis City (return) Leave Knott and teleport to the ship and then to Vanis. Go to the bar and talk to the green guy, Simon, to learn about some ruins. The Ocean Cave, to be exact... which we already did. Upon leaving the bar someone shows up and says go to Knott! So back we go.

Knott (AGAIN) You'll be forced to fight red beetles, like the ones in Gravis. They should be cake now if you've levelled Dias a bit. They took a few forward slash basic attacks each. Same strategy with the 3 grey beetles. Once you save Rival, you find out that they unleashed some awful monsters from Gravis forest's underground. When you're ready, go to the door at the back of Rival's room that you couldn't go to before.

Gravis' Forest Path

I took Dias, Celine, Noel. Make sure you're fully stocked, this area isn't on the ship teleporter.

Bring a bomb if you're playing on a Gameboy/Super Gameboy 1 (Note: must be original, not a Color or Advance) and when you come upon a tower, you can use a hidden door on the right to enter or blow up the crack with a bomb (Mobile port only). I'm really kinda ticked because if you choose the item on the right you get a Blue Sphere just handed to you. This plus that Might Chain from earlier makes playing on a Gameboy or Super Gameboy 1 almost worth it... So, sadly I didn't get this item. I remember in my old playthrough this was around where I put the game down because the angel inside looks like Lenneth. Her sprite gets reused a lot in this game... I really thought it was Lenneth, though! :p Apparently her name is Maria--maybe an allusion to Star Ocean Til the End of Time (this title was a holdover until 3 released, so...)

Continue forward along the path until you reach the cave. Along the way are more of the red beetles. For the boss fight ahead, if you're using Celine, you may want to aquire Ray or Southern Cross. Here's how: Use Starlight (have MP 100+, INT 40+) to gain Ray and then use Ray (260 MP+, 80+ INT, know Herbology) to spark it. It's highly likely you won't have her Tech maxed out yet to learn Herbology for Southern Cross, but Ray should work in a pinch. It only took me four battles to spark Ray.

Gravis Forest II / Gravis Forest Cave

The red beetles seem to go down quicker with Starlight, but also Dias should be taking them out in 1-3 hits on average. I also had a red beetle drop a Mithril Mesh once I reached the forest, which is an upgrade to the Nexus Armor.

There are many hidden paths that lead to treasure, ect. so make sure you have a map handy. Go right and just keep going right and you'll stumble upon the Brown Card. After this, explore as thoroughly as possible to get everything. Most of the enemies are really easy, especially if you get initiative.

There is one room on the center/right side that has a large enemy called the Dragon Warrior. Luckily, you'll need Teleport so you'll have to come back later for this. If you beat him 5 times you get one of the rings for the bonus dungeon. If you have Ashton, you'll also get some cool dialogue between Gyoro and Ururun.

When you come across the room with two levers in the center, move the left one and continue exploring a bit. You'll need to get to Floor 2 to finish the puzzle. Along the way you'll probably see two chests, one in the top left and one lower/right from that. Once again, you'll need Teleport for them. I don't know what dev expects me to backtrack for this crap, because I don't plan to. Go across the bridge you lowered to Floor 2, flip the switch. Falling here does nothing, so don't worry about it. Go back across and you'll see some yellowish stairs. Use Jump to get back to the double lever room and swap the order from before, which lowers the stairs completely. Save before going to the boss room.

Apsaras (hey, I recognize you from Megaten!)... not how I expected you to look. Anyway, I tried the Japanese website guide of using Ray, but... it did fucking nothing. The Official guide only recommends raising STR as high as possible and says even specials do very little here. Basically, this battle is gonna be a slog. Use items to your advantage.

Seriously, this boss sucks. I almost put the game down.

My strategy was to control Dias and do a sort of attack a bit, back off/heal as needed, attack some more. Be careful, if you take out it's legs, it just insta-kills everyone after a few attacks... I'm seriously debating using cheats for this fight, because it's that hard. I KNOW the game wants me to combo to prevent it from attacking, but when you suck at stupid fighting game ass skills, it's useless. There really needs to be any kind of work around...

Okay, so I was reading up and the JP website says Dias just needs MP and to attack based on range for some of the lower level killer moves. Go figure, he only just now started getting an MP boost. I still can't combo for shit (got a 6 somehow in the boss fight) but I did put some points into Awakening. However, I don't think that's what helped... So I equipped this random ass ring I had because I think it gives you Strong Blow? Anyway, this boss went down in like 20 seconds once I had it on Dias! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS GAME IS ANYMORE. For information on where I got the ring, it was on B1 Floor of the Ocean Cave! It's called the Eclipse Ring and the Official guide translates the ability added as "Strike". I don't know what this ability is exactly but it seems to have saved my ass here. I got flashback to the Protection Rings / Barker fight in Star Ocean the Second Story... Ironically, that boss fight was what kind of gave me the idea to look at accessories. Nice to see something stayed from 2 that was actually worthwhile.

Return to the ship, restock, return to Knott and go to the lab and talk to Rival. She explains that the Edifians were destroyed by a flood/tidal wave and that someone may have caused it. To learn more, she asks us to take her to Scream (and Lung). These names, bro... Anyway, we gotta go back to the road to Knott and find a new pathway.

Road to Knott 2 If you remember where we saw Ruddle, with those plant octopus guys, go back there. Rival opens the previously locked door and we're at Scream.

Scream You will need Precis' Hover if you want all the items, but they should be gemstones and armor you saw like four dungeons ago. What you really want are the Sharp Edge and Sorceress Knuckles, if SO2 taught me anything. I was pretty boggled considering those are potentially strong / really strong weapons for Claude and Rena in SO2... You just need Push for those, so Noel should be fine. (Note: I later learned Rena uses knives, so... I guess the knuckles are good for Noel.)

Star Ocean has this thing where it really ramps up it’s environments late game and I’m feeling it! Scream has great graphics and atmosphere. (I forgot to get a picture, though...)

Once you get the weapon upgrades, go through the right door in that same area where Rival is waiting. There's a teleport pad but you can set it to specific places. Going to Nusa Beach or Mile Shop don't have a way back, so don't bother. Select Scream Floor 2 and keep trudging along. Don't go through the upper door. There's a PA with Rena later and if you go now, you lose the chance to complete it.

Your goal is to get the entire tower to line up. Once you get to 4th Floor, save, because the boss is on Floor 5 and he's a bastard. First, I controlled Dias and charged the Minotaur to get some distance between it and the mages. Anything this dude uses KO's mages on impact. I mostly used Celine (with a fire boost and a ring that decreases cast time) with Ray. I wish I had Southern Cross, as it would do more damage... :( It was a big fucking struggle. I used like 4 revives, quite a few MP items, and a all party heal item. Somehow I won. If you get one part of him destroyed he should go down pretty quick after, even if it doesn't look that way. I also had to use a save state about halfway through the battle to save time. It's like 30% luck and 50% cursing, but you'll whittle him down somehow. Just don't let your mages anywhere near him whatsoever and revive immediately. If you wait too long to revive and they're behind the Minotaur, they are good as perma-dead, because he'll attack before you get to even move them out of the way. This entire boss was BS, almost as much as the last one. It's a trend in this game that needs to die.

City of Lung

Ruddle Sidequest Okay, in my last section I wasn't sure about the Ruddle quest. Unfortunetly, I chose the wrong direction and it lead to a dead end (the guide I was following was incorrect, so when I checked the Official Guide... yeah...), so this quest is over for me now that I've reached Lung. For the correct path, use the slapped together, Google translated pics I posted above. (I wanted to add the photo here, but Tumblr would NOT save it for some reason)

So much for my Fairy Ring :( I'm pretty peeved as it's so far back and I'm not doing those boss fights again. However, to make a Fairy Ring (halves MP cost, just like SO2), you can use Rune Metal and score between 270-319 with Jewelry Making (this is how the ROM translates it). I didn't have any Rune Metal, so I might try later.

Private Action *This PA has a small window, do it immediately - IN: Precis - Ship - Rival admires the ship and gives you a Tri-Emblem (increase all stats). I'm unsure if it breaks or something, so I'll save it for the end... This won't be availible if you talk to the Priest in Lung, so do this PA immediately.

Proceed down the path in Lung and you'll be escorted to the Priest, who is promptly killed by Rival. She also forces Claude and Rena to crash on Edifice, just like she did you.

She is the planet's "devil". She leaves and a remaining priest takes you to the top floor to meet an Edifian named Rose.

Rose explains Rival killed the Priest to get access to the Grand Knott, a weapon. Rose sacrifices a literal lung (I guess that's why the city is named that? lol) so you can breathe underwater when you go investigate the Comsat / Komsa Ruins.

Comsat Ruins - Bring a few bombs. - Equip Stone Checks

With the Aqualung, Dias can now use Swim/Dive, so we don't necessarily need to bring Precis. The dungeon is fairly straightforward. If a room doesn't loop back, look for a Microchip; this unlocks more floors on the elevator. There is also an item here we'll need to get Claude (yeah, he has a shitty sidequest; luckily this is the only item you’ll need for it), so make sure you nab the Minsidia by going 80% the way left on the continental shelf, then down to get the chest near the bottom. You'll have to backtrack, so be prepared. Once you backtrack once, teleport to the ship. This way you can just quickly return to the shelf by going to the ship/beginning of the dungeon. Anytime I got back to the starting floor, I went to heal/restock since it makes life easier. I avoided a lot of the enemies here as well, like the rhino-dino looking guys, because they just OKO'd my party all the time.

After getting the Minsidia, go back to the beginning of the continental shelf and retrace your steps across, but go all the way left and all the way down. You may want to grab Precis first because the two treasures here require Hover (a weapon for her and for Ernest--not worth trading out your healer, IMO). You'll now be in the seabed. You might be able to hover if you go left for a shortcut, IDK, but the path around is clockwise. If you want some treasure, go to the first door you see, but if you want to move onto the boss, just keep going clockwise towards the center.

I've had to do a lot of resets just because enemies KO Celine instantly :/ I've been using her Magic Shot field action to get the jump on some enemies and start battle controlling her. A Thunderbolt takes out the Saber Fins in one shot. The Nautilus' take a lot of damage from Thunderbolt too, but to preserve MP, try to finish them off with Dias. They cause poison, so have Noel w/Dispel or cure poisons handy.

If you can get Celine's MP 200+ and INT 60+, you may have a good chance of sparking Thunderstorm, which may be an option we can use going further since Southern Cross isn't obtainable yet...

The red shark is a sub-boss and if you got Thunderstorm, he goes out in 1-3 casts of that. When it attacks again, you wake up in Aqua City and are greeted by an Edifian. Is that what we're doing here? Talking to them? It's so strange we go through this dungeon instead of searching for Claude/Rena immediately... just sayin'. Go around and talk to the Edifians for the first plot in awhile. You'll learn they fought Rival 200 years ago and failed when she flooded the planet. We also learn Claude and Rena crashed near Nusa Beach.

When you go to talk to the leader, they go on some typical Tri-Ace writing about the Aqualung being able to carry Rose's thoughts and that's how they know who you are and that the Priest wanted you to fight Rival. The leader goes onto say we need two more Edifian's help and must go to Ax and Azul and pass their trials. It's pretty similar to SO2 and the Four Fields. Head right from the leader's room and there are two warps.

Return to the ship and restock as needed. It's time to finally get Rena and Claude. Go to Nusa Beach (Use the shortcut in the Crash Forest or go through Slave Village passage [I also realized the upper left exit of Aqua City is a shortcut, later on... oops]) and get Rena, because you can't get Claude without her. One thing the website guide notes is they are completely optional. There is some text where Claude laments if you fail to recruit them, but since Rena is useful and we want the team reunited... let's go get them and level Rena up!

Nusa Beach Revisisted (Rena) Go to the location shown above (near one of the cities, I think? Before the Sea Cave) and you'll find Rena!

I hope you've been saving Knife weapons... apparently Rena uses them in this one. It feels like a reference to her og PS1 art, where she had a short sword / dagger. She also uses mage armors, so you may need to go purchase some of the better stuff in Knott/Lung. We have to "level" her anyway, so use any spare SP on her and go train somewhere if need be. Go to Lung to upgrade first, then go to Knott since that's our destination. Claude has a disease that a scientist named Rush there can cure.

Also, while you're at Lung, you may want to invest in some Titania Sources and upgrade some things, especially since Rena probably won't have an Isis Tiara, we may want to make her one or something better.

Raising Rena

*Note, she will not learn Gravity Press with this method, BUT Celestial Arrow is better anyway.

Sense - Physical Sensation, Danger Sense, Radio Waves(Transmission)

Battle - Parry, Quigong (I didn't learn these, because I didn't see them come up quickly...)

The above are optional but learn one set before the other.

After learning Sense skills, learn all TECH skills through Lezard Techno.

After learning all the above, raise INT until you get Lost Magic.

I levelled her at the base of the seabed. Use Celine's Thunderbolt to take out the Balloon Fish in a few hits. Enter the cave door and go back out to respawn. He gives 60 SP a go. I just refilled MP with Blackberries until I ran out, rinse/repeat. The cost of the Blackberries can suck, but don't forget that Scout often has them on sale. Also, depending on your playstyle, you may find an easier enemy that gives high SP, just do what works for you. In one "trip" I got Rena to a 67 Skill Level. Everyone else is around 100~ so I figured, close enough. I also raised Taijitsu a little for Celine and Rena so their HP was around 100 each.

Knott Revisisted (Claude) Go to the first door on the left of the science building where all those dungeons were to find Rush. He needs the Minsidia, which we already have. He makes the medicine and so we go to Vanis City.

Vanis City Revisited (Claude) You'll see a big guy right when you teleport there. Talk to him. Claude will be waiting at the ship if you want to use him.

Now we can return to Aqua City. We'll take on Ax first, since it's a bit easier.

Ax - Right

Go the upper left door of the area and climb the shell. You'll face the Lord of the Sea who gives you hints on how to progress. These change each new playthrough, but for my own notes, here's what they were in my playthrough: Go through the door of bubbles. He also gives us something, but I have no clue what it was. (Okay, I'm dumb. Realized this on door 2... grab the item bag that appears behind the guy you fought! There's an item in it.)

Next aim for the door right, right again, and down. There's a door where you repeat steps. There's the King of the Sea who says (in my playthrough) go through the bubble door two times.

Next go up and right through the door and repeat the process a final time. Now is the Master of the Sea. His clue for my playthrough was: You have to go through the doors four times in total.

Lovely. At this point I was running low on blackberries, so I left to restock. I also wanted to see if I could get Rena and spells since we've amassed some SP. To learn Fairy Heal, we need Fairyology. I think because INT is NOT opposite TECH, it's alright to raise and we won't lose points, since we will level it after INT anyway. So I went and spammed Cure Light to learn Fairy Heal. In about 3 fights on the road to Knott, I got Fairy Heal AND Fairy Light in the same battle by spamming Cure Light and using Fairy Heal for the first time... We FINALLY have a full party cure! If we spam Fairy Heal, we have a chance to learn Raise Dead, too...

Item Creation: Jewelry Making

I really kind of want a Fairy Ring for Rena, but I can't get the points higher than 130-150, when I need 200+... I did get an extra Star Necklace (reduces cast time) using 1 of my Rune Metals, though. You'll need to buy the Magical Rasp from Lung and try to make a Circle or Cross shape for the highest points. The highest I got was 180 making circles... :( I think I need the level higher, but it conflicts with Celine's learning path...

I screwed around with Compounding, since Rena had it at level 6 after I trained her up earlier. If you mix Thyme and Rosemary, they make the basic Resurrect item if you score 150ish. Nice to get revives. I know Athelas makes resurrection items and some MP items in SO2, but I don't think they exist here. The best item, the Metox, is obtained through connect battles, so that's out.

Item Creation: Compounding

Thyme and Thyme with a low score can make Mixed or Fruit Syrup (HP/MP small and medium restore) and seem like an easy/good combo to make for the dungeon treks. To get Thyme, you can hunt Hippos in Garp. There's 3 right at the entrance and they go down super fast now that we're so late in the game. Bonus, it can be an easy but grindy way to amass some SP (19 SP each I think), so it's a win-win if you got a TV show to binge and wanna grind a bit. Just remember you can only carry 15 of an item, but doesn't hurt to have a full stack and extra so you don't have to leave dungeons as often. Another alternative is to grab Bowman and go to Scout Village, exit, go left and explore the first two screens for herbs, walk back to the village real quick, and repeat. You should have a plethora of herbs at your disposal after.

Another good herb combo:

Lavendar and Lavendar (Score: Auto / 150+) = Resurrection Mist (Revives one 100% HP.) If you score around 80, you can get a Mixed Syrup, too.

Lavendar and Rosemary (150+) make a Cure Stone.

Lavendar and Thyme (150+) can make Cure Paralysis.

Rosemary and Rosemary (170+) can make a Mental Pot (increases Symbology in fights)

Now, to get back to the game for a bit... I returned to the bottom/center door near the crab because apparently there's one more guy to fight. He is the Demon of the Abyss, just a giant crab. His hint for my file was: There's a tricky room in the center of the tower, you won't be able to leave it just walking normally. After the door of bubbles, you must go through the door of waves.

Once done, go back to the second door we went through (the one that was right, right, down, next to 2 crabs); this will lead to the central tower that just seemed to loop endlessly if you visited before. On either side there are two doors. The left is the wave door and the right is the bubble door. There are two gaps that must be hovered/jumped over. Based on our clues, we need to: Go through the door of bubbles two times. We have to go through the doors four times altogether. After the door of bubbles, we have to go through the door of waves. My first guess wasn't right, so I'm not sure I understand the riddle... You'll know if you failed because you auto-fall into one of the gaps. My solution was: Bubble, Wave, Bubble. I have no idea why. Go up the central tower, Raum, one of the Edifians, is waiting at the top right.

After speaking with Raum, we see a scene of Rival raising the Grand Knott (tower/weapon thing, kinda reminds me of Vane from Lunar). You'll be teleported back to the teleporters, where we can now take on Azul.

If there's any PA's you want to do in Ava City, do them now. I'm not sure if they become unavailible after the events of the second tower / talking to the leader after completing both towers...

Azul - Left Start by heading left and down through a hidden path. Step into the pool/teleporter. Grab the treasure and go up. This is where the official guide said to go first, but we need an orb first to open the door. Go back to the entrance, go down and right, right, down and you'll get a Devil Egg in the treasure box. Go back to the entrance and go all the way left and down to get the Devil Fruit. Go back to the entrance a third time, go right through the pool and up, up, then right. You'll see a hole. Put the Devil Fruit there. Do the same thing in the next room with the Devil Egg, then move the two blocks to the lit up areas in their rooms to unlock a pool teleport back near the red shark.

Love the Tria reference lol These guys were so immersion breaking / over the top I loved it

Go through, grab the Blue Orb, and go back. If you go down, left, up there is another block to move (it doesnt change anything yet). Return to the entrance and go all the way left and get on the teleporter. Defeat the two fish to open the doors. Make your way upward until you see another block to move. This time it changes something. Go down and right through the pool teleporter. Grab the item and go back, go up to another pool teleporter. You can skip the first one, but the second teleporter has a Star Cloak you'll really want for a mage. Go back to where you moved the block on the same floor (left, up) and go left through the hidden passage. Go back to the entrance after grabbing the Green Orb. You may want to leave/restock and come back because the boss is soon. There's one orb left. From the entrance go left, down, through the teleporter, then up through the door we can now open. Toss the cap on one of the mages and get the Red Orb. Now we can open the boss door, so prepare/save and head up to put the orbs into the door with the red hinges (similar to the Green orb door we just busted up). You gotta defeat all the enemies. A few Thunderbolts take out the crab. I just ran from the dragon guys since they waste so much MP. A few Thunderstorms took out the boss really quick!

Yeah, this is a lot like Vane’s destruction but in reverse lol

After you go back to Aqua and watch Rival and Ava City duke it out. We learn Rival powered Grand Knott with the Palantir Stone. The Edifians confirm Ava City is destroyed.

Remember those damn elevator ruins from early game? Yeah... :/ Rival has nestled Grand Knott into it and is waiting for us to stop her. They explain the Leviabor Ruins have powers of the ancient race and it's needed to power Grand Knott, which is docked and free to enter. Except for a barrier, which they can get rid of, so who cares. Anyway, I'd prep by trying to make better weapons, armor, and items. Make food, curatives, ect. Then when you're ready, go to Ava City and the Leviabor Ruins. This isn't the final dungeon, by the way. For some reason the game is gonna continue quite awhile. Luckily there is a final city soon that has a ton of good stuff, so you can probably trudge through the 10 Seals and Leviabor fairly easily. We'll see...

Let’s take a detour with...

Private Action Palooza! (aka A lot of PAs...)

There aren't many PAs in this game, but I wanted to go see any still left. There's a few more late game that get you some ultimate weapons, apparently, so I don't want to miss them and I'll include them in this guide. I'll note if there's any that were missed based on time (since some may have closed after the events at Ax/Azul)

Okay, it’s wierd controlling Claude again... :p

Opera, is this necessary??

Spaceship - Chisato OUT - Speak to Chisato to gain her ultimate weapon, the Mirage. (A SO2 reference maybe?)

Ultimate Weapons

You'll notice they have 0 stats. It's because you need a Blue Sphere (Alchemy) and to take them to the guy in... Knott, I think? I'll have to double check.

Road to Knott (Go to Vanis City south exit, down, right, right, down) - Chisato IN, Dias OUT - DiasxChisato shippers will love this PA--Chisato tells Dias it's dangerous to be out in the wild alone and that first impressons are important. She basically says his aloof and succinct words make it hard for the party to understand where he's coming from and everyone worries.)

Ava City - Opera IN, Celine OUT - After completing Ax/Azul / Before Ava is destroyed / Bowman daughter PA can't have been seen (?) - Obviously I couldn't do this one for multiple reasons...

Slave Village (upper right house) - Opera, Dias IN, Leon, Bowman OUT - Leon and Bowman are playing a card game. Bowman lectures Leon on thinking too much about the game, which is causing Leon's losing streak. Dias lectures them for being nonchalant when the world needs saving, but agrees breaks are good, so Bowman offers to play. Opera taught them the game (from Earth - Hanafuda).

Vanice City (go right twice from entrance) - Bowman IN, Opera, Ernest OUT - Bowman sees Opera buying a ton of alcohol. Opera offers Bowman some (apparently the alcohol is better than Earth) and I agreed to let Bowman live it up. They go back to the inn to drink. Eventually, Bowman passes out and Opera keeps drinking. It wouldn't be Star Ocean without someone getting shitfaced, you know? Opera leaves to buy more when she runs out and Ernest brings Bowman back to the ship, telling him not to attempt to keep up with Opera again... lol

Road to Knott (Exit Knott) - Precis IN, Opera OUT - Opera's gun is veering left, so Opera asks if Precis can fix it. Opera's good with machines, but not computer parts... I agreed for Precis to look at it. Opera declines though, scared Precis will return it over-designed. I asked Opera after the PA, too, and Precis gets all mad because Opera won't let her within 10 feet of the gun in fear Precis will make it into an automaton...

Knott (second floor item shop) - Opera IN, Precis OUT - Precis comments on Knott's dark atmosphere, compared to her school. Opera mentions El was a scholar... I think this is a mistranslation as she probably said "Ern", meaning Ernest.

Spaceship - Ashton OUT - Ashton gives you his ultimate weapon 83 Inn's Claw (ROM) / Gine's Claw (Japanese website translation--I think this might be XINE?! Did XINE hand over a talon?!). Ashton says that Gyoro and Ururun want him to use the weapon, but Ashton says it was a gift from (Rasugas)? Does he mean Lasguss (mountains)? Perhaps from his home town that was scrapped in SO2? He says it has the spirit of a djinn inside. I swear I read in an interview Ashton's hometown had something to do with a djinn...

Note before these two PAs, bring Ashton and Claude with you. Dias should be able to handle any enemies. Do NOT bring Precis or Opera.

Gravis Forest (Summit, where the boss was) - Ashton IN, Precis OUT - Ashton asks Precis if she can repair the ship soon. Precis says that means she'll go back to Earth and Ashton to Expel. Since they're supposed to be canonical in a way, I stated 'We'll be seperated again'. Precis tells Ashton he hasn't changed in two years, because he's sad about being seperated again. Precis says it's a good thing he hasn't changed, giggles, and runs off.

Ah, if I'd known about this... I'd brought Claude, too... If you do take my advice, try going down one screen and returning to see if the PA triggers, otherwise you may have to backtrack like I did. If you're lost, just keep heading up from the Hideout as best you can. It doesn't take too long as the enemies that remain go down really quick.

Gravis Forest (Summit) - Claude IN, Opera OUT - Claude snaps Opera out of reading a book. She's exploring the wreckage of her ship and gathering things she might want to keep. I was curious so I asked 'What were you reading?' The Armoured Death and the Knight of Fire are what Claude notices. He says they're very military, even noting Opera's jacket. However, Opera hates war, she just likes good stories that are fiction and finds her jacket comfortable. When Opera mentions a far off planet, Claude reminds Opera that he's part of the Pangalactic Federation (she forgot!)

Nusa Beach (use the Crash Forest entrance) - Rena IN, Chisato OUT - Chisato is worried about the universe constantly at war, saying the Nedians were a peaceful people. I told her 'There's hope in the future' basically. If you talk to Chisato after, she says because of the events two years ago, she became a Battle Reporter, specifically. :)

Road to Gravis (Had to look up where this was... It's the area with the tower where Maria was, so go to Knott and use the back door where Rival used to hang out. Travel down the ladder, through the little tunnel, and you'll see Celine when you exit.) - Rena IN, Celine OUT - Rena finds Celine looking pale. I said 'I'm more worried'. Celine says a bug fell on her (reminds me of the trope they used in the EX anime) If you talk to Celine after, Rena says bugs don't bother her much.

Scream (2F of Serpent Ruins, teleport to Serpent Ruins, leave, head right, then head for the top right of the dungeon) - Rena IN - Defeat the bird. The lady with the bento will die. Use Rena's Rebirth to revive them. This ability seems to be finicky? I guess use it in front of the "block" of floor where the lady died, and it should revive her. If you go to the back there's now a jam shop. Let me tell you, I was so mad lol I was hoping it would have the Aloe Jam that was so useful in SO2... NONE of the jams restore MP... FML. Buy the Blueberry Jam (20% HP restore) at least for dungeon crawling, otherwise this was pointless for the effort involved...

Lung (item shop) - Requires Bowman's daughter PA to have been done - Celine IN, Bowman OUT - Bowman needs help deciding what to get, a dress for Nineh or a toy for Erys. Yeah, the toy seems the better choice, but it's trash compared to the Marvel Dress you get otherwise. (Marvel from SO1? Interesting lol) Move the Star Cloak to Rena and give Celine the massive boost from the Marvel Cloak.

That's all for now! :o We've only got a few PAs left for later... Where were we? Right, Leviabor Ruins...

Due to issues with Tumblr, please be patient. I’m tired of editing/saving 3x just to make updates to this post. It is very exhausting. Fix your shit Tumblr.

FINAL PART OF GUIDE, CLICK HERE

#star ocean blue sphere #tips and tricks #strategy guide #SOBS #beginner's guide #star ocean series #fan translated #video game review

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lunarwritesthings · 5 months

Text

Best Friend to The Rescue

Paring: Platonic!Ashton Irwin x Gn!Reader

Fandom: 5 Seconds of Summer

Request: Yes, by anon

Summary: Work is getting overwhelmingly stressful, luckily your childhood best friend is there to console you.

A/N: Anon, I love you for this request. I didn't mean to make it long, but i couldn't stop writing. Anyways I feel this whole fic is literally how Ash would be in this kind of situation.

Me and Ashton have always been close. We've been best friends since childhood but for the last few years we've been roommates, but in recent days things have been especially hard. Work has been getting to me, making things harder and more stressful than usual. It's hard to focus, and I've wonders if this is really the right line of work for me.

Today, though, the stress seemed to reach a breaking point. I came back from a long day at work, feeling broken and exhausted. As soon as I walked through the front door, I collapsed on the couch, crying into a pillow. Suddenly I felt a pair of arms around me, hugging me tightly.

A soothing voice spoke, calming and warm. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here for you." It was Ashton. With him were a few snacks, and a hot cup of tea to settle me down. Ashton sat on the couch besides me, gently rubbing my shoulders as he smiled warmly and spoke in a hushed voice. "Work can be hard, but we'll get through it together. Just take a deep breath and relax. I'm here for you, okay?"

I let out a shaky breath, calming down a little under Ashton's touch. "I... thanks, Ashton..." I mumbled quietly. "You don't know how much that means to me. Work has been really tough lately, and I just feel so overwhelmed." Ashton nodded, squeezing me gently. "I understand, I really do. You're not alone, you know. I'm here to help." Ashton smiled, taking a sip from his own drink while he continued to comfort me.

I relaxed a little more, letting out a small sigh. "Thank you, Ashton..." Ashton shrugged, taking another sip from his tea. "No problem. That's what friends are for. I've got your back, alright?" I nodded, taking a sip from my own cup of tea. "Can I tell you something...?" Ashton raised an eyebrow. "Of course. Anything you need to say." I took a deep breath, looking at Ashton and taking his hand lightly. "I'm...I'm starting to think work's not for me. I'm not sure what to do now."

Ashton sat up a little straighter, leaning in. "Oh...really?" I nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I care about the work, and I want to do what's right...but it just gets a lot sometimes. I don't think this is the job I want to do forever." Ashton took another sip of his tea, thinking for a moment. "Well, then that's great!" I looked back at him curiously. "Huh?" Ashton shrugged. "You don't enjoy it. You don't have to keep doing it. Why not find something you are passionate about?"

I looked relieved at Ashton's response. "Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. It's just...what if I'm wrong? What if I leave, and things end up worse for me?" Ashton chuckled, squeezing the reader's hand. "Look at you, worrying so much. And here I thought you wanted to find a job you enjoy." I sheepishly looked away as a small blush crossed their face. "Maybe I'd enjoy something else more...I just don't know what that is."

Ashton chuckled, smiling warmly as he squeezed the my hand gently. "Hey, that's alright. You know, I think you could do a lot of things. There's plenty of time to figure it all out." I nodded, letting their head fall back onto the couch with a sigh. Ashton's smile grew, as he leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. "You'll find your place." Ashton spoke softly.

Ashton continued to smile as he looked down at me. "I believe in you. You can do whatever you want." His words were soothing as I let out a deep breath, feeling more at ease than I had in a long time. I was about to say something when Ashton spoke again. "You know, we should do something relaxing." I nodded, still smiling. "Yeah. And what do you have in mind?" Ashton squeezed my hand lightly. "How about a movie?"

I nodded, feeling the excitement growing as I thought about a relaxing evening watching a movie with Ashton. "That sounds wonderful. What are we watching?" Ashton smiled at me and stood up. "Something romantic, I think." He walked quickly to the television and turned it on, scrolling through some options before selecting a romantic comedy.

Ashton walked back over to the couch, taking my hand and leading me next to him. As the movie started, he leaned in close and put his arm around me. I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder, enjoying the simple moment.

Sometimes all you need is a best friend that comes to rescue you from life's hardships and endlessly supports you.

#ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin fanfic #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic

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deathlordcorpseking · 2 years

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Yeehawgust 23: Mirage

Veronica and the Courier arrive at Jacobstown to find Doctor Henry, and are confused when a Nightkin approaches them calling them by the wrong names. 686 words.

Jacobstown was full of Super Mutants and Nightkin who stared uncomfortably at them. Ashton made she to wave at each one who did, until Veronica reminded her that Nightkin didn't like to be stared at at all.

"Oh, are those Big Horners?" Ashton gasped, pulling Veronica up to the fence around them. "Veronica, aren't they cute?"

"Just as cute as every other one we ran into on the way."

"I know!" Ashton squealed. Rex barked, nudging at her leg, and Ashton frowned, turning around to get up to the lodge and meet Doctor Henry. Before she made two steps to do so, there was a loud call of 'Jimmy?'

Ashton hadn't thought it was referencing her, but when there was another, 'Is that you?' she glanced in the direction of the call. It had come from a Nightkin that stood almost twice the height of Ashton herself, dressed in overalls and a small hat.

Ashton, confused, turned to Veronica as if she could provide an answer, but she just shrugged.

"Jimmy? Come over here and give Grandma a hug!"

Ashton had frowned, whispering to Veronica, "Is she talking to you?"

"Nope," Veronica said, cheerfully. "Pretty sure she's talking to you."

"Oh, and is that my little Becky?" The huge Nightkin cooed. "My, how you two have grown!"

"No, she's definitely talking to me now."

"Miss?" Ashton asked gently, confused. "Are you-?"

"It's been so long, dear!" She was engulfed in the large arms of the Nightkin. Ashton stilled immediately, though, relaxed because she could hear the sound of Veronica laughing from behind her. That, and the hug was surprisingly comforting. "Now why haven't you come to visit Grandma?"

"I..." With awkward movements, she raised her arms to try to encompass the Nightkin. Success was limited, but the Nightkin had seemed happy. "I'm sorry. I... wasn't thinking?"

"It's alright, pumpkin. You're here now," the Nightkin cooed, "Grandma's so happy to see you."

Slowly, the Nightkin pulled away, beaming so brightly that Ashton felt her heart clench uncomfortably.

As the Nightkin glanced between Ashton and Veronica, though, she faltered. "Oh, now I'm sorry. I'm afraid I mixed you up with my grandkids. You just look so much like them!"

"It's alright," Ashton muttered, still feeling rather warm from the hug. "You expecting your grandkids?"

"Well, I can't say I've seen them in the longest of time, but I know they'd look a lot like you two. What's your names?"

"I'm Ashton, and this is Veronica. What's your name?"

"Lily. I'm glad to meet you. Can I ask where your parents are? Don't tell me they let you walk all the way here on your own."

Ashton blinked, confused. "My parents?"

"Uh-huh. I can't imagine they're that far, are they? If they really let you walk here on your own, they're due for a stern talking to."

"I don't…" Ashton trailed off, getting progressively more confused. "I have parents?"

Lily herself seemed puzzled at that, and Veronica interrupted as Rex got progressively more eager to get inside the lodge. "It's a long story."

Lily slowly nodded. "I see. Well, it's no good for two young kids to be walking around with no adults. It's dangerous out here. Do you have nobody looking out for you?"

Given the fact that Lily seemed to genuinely believe they were children, Veronica didn't know where to go with this, as Ashton still seemed to be mulling over the fact that she had parents. "We're, uh. Very mature. You really don't have to worry."

Lily smiled. "I'm a grandmother. The idea of kids all alone makes me worry. Where are you two off to?"

"We're looking for a Doctor Henry."

"Oh, Doctor Henry? He's such a nice fellow. Is he your babysitter?"

Ashton, horrified, asked, "Baby sitter?"

"No, he's just helping our dog, here," Veronica gestured to Rex, who whimpered. "We'll see you later…?"

"Alright. Let me know if you girls need anything! I make the best cookies."

"We'll keep it in mind! Thanks." Swiftly, Veronica grabbed Ashton's arm to pull her away while she frowned, muttering something about people sitting on babies.

#Yeehawgust 2022 #mirage Prompt #I actually think it’s really sad that Lily thinks that the courier is her grandchild #I wish there was a definite happy ending for her #Lily Bowen #veronica santangelo #Courier Six #Who has intelligence 1 like an icon #Also memory loss #Rex fnv #Fallout New Vegas

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floral-poisons · 2 years

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would the twst characters have kids when they're older?

this is a shower thought post lmao. i was thinking about it. so i'm going to write down who would have kids, separated by house. including the staff members too. these are just my personal opinion so don't take it to heart. we're going with vibes and my limited knowledge. feel free to add anything too. (also excluding ortho for obvious reasons)

NRC STAFF

dire crowley

while i am tempted to say no, i feel like he has a secret kid somewhere? might be a single dad, gives off single dad energy. and he would only have one kid. overall though, i think it's highly unlikely. there's also something suspicious going on with him.

ashton vargas

on one hand, i believe he would only have kids to be extensions of himself (based on gaston's personality). on another hand, i feel like he's satisfied being child-free. no kids to interfere with his routine or his work. but if he did have kids then he'd adopt them into his routine when they're old enough to begin exercising. starts off small and gradually gets bigger as they become older. he would also be a sports dad.

mozus trein

absolutely not. has no kids. he's a single dad to his cat lucius. treats lucius like his own son. and honestly? i would say he's living a great child-free, pet-kid lifestyle.

correction: this man has 2 kids (daughters) canonically so i guess he isn’t living the child-free lifestyle i thought he was. considering he is based off the stepmom in cinderella this makes sense. lucius is probably his surrogate pet-kid.

divus crewel

as much as i would like to believe he would have kids, i think he's child-free. child-free, might have pet-kids. probably not though because he's big into fashion and getting pet hair all over his clothes? not an option. definitely feels more like the gay uncle.

sam

yes, definitely. and he would be amazing at it too. amazing food, good with domestic chores, babies love him. he definitely has the vibe of being a dad. probably one or two kids, maybe three. teaches them how to cook and how to cook with seasoning. definitely has a spouse or is coparenting but he would do amazing as a single dad.

DIASOMNIA

malleus draconia

i can't really see it with malleus. he gives off single child energy who would be content with not having any children. why have a child when he has everything else in the world? don't forget to invite him to a child's birthday party though. feels more like a godfather than an actual father.

lilia vanrouge

foster dad. and a good one too. his foster kids might say he's a little weird but overall, he's very charming. he already has to watch over some pseudo kids while at nrc anyways. some of the kids he might adopt if they consented to being adopted. i mean lilia already adopted silver so yeah. foster dad and a dad with kids.

silver

i believe silver would follow in lilia's footsteps, which is being a dad who adopts. he's responsible and certainly capable of taking care of kids so he has everything he needs to provide. he would adopt maybe two to three kids and make sure to raise them into strong, kind people.

sebek zigvolt

honestly, i really don't think he would have kids. sebek is very dedicated to his job as being malleus's bodyguard. such a schedule must be exhausting and fill up his day really quickly. so he wouldn't have the time to have kids. i do see him being a father figure to someone, probably a mentor to the person.

HEARTSLABYUL

riddle rosehearts

i firmly believe that riddle would have a kid or two in order to attempt to right the wrongs of his mother's parenting. of course he loves his kids and would have rules (maybe a little too many) but he would be a lot more laxed than his mother. on another hand, i can see the possibility of him not having kids because he fears he might end up just like his mother.

trey clover

i can see trey having kids or being child-free. it's cute to imagine him teaching his kids how to bake and to eventually let them help out in his family's bakery. on the other hand, i can see him being more of a cool uncle. still takes over the bakery but if it doesn't close, he'll let his nephew/niece/nibling take over after him. he definitely brings the best desserts to family gatherings. free cakes for birthdays too.

cater diamond

yes he would and he would be one of those parents who's friends with their kids. change my mind. try to. he knows all the new trends, all the new lingo. his attempts to use the new slang for the kids would be hilariously embarrassing. but also the lack of shame kind of adds to his charm as a dad. two kids probably. one of them definitely looks exactly like him.

ace trappola

ace would 100% have kids. in fact, i think he would be dead set on having kids. doesn't matter if they're adopted or biological or foster. he would just be a dad. would definitely have a big family so three to four kids.

deuce spade

maybe one or two kids. i feel like deuce isn't really that big of a child person so he would be open to the idea but not entirely enthusiastic. if it happened though, it happened. he would make sure to set himself as a good role model to prevent his kids from falling down the punk rabbit hole like he did when he was a child.

POMEFIORE

vil schoenheit

personally, i don't think so. if vil had the choice, he would be child-free. if he did had children, he would only have one so basically a single child like him. not to mention, imagine being the child of vil schoenheit. it sounds like hell. as much as i would like to believe vil would be a good dad, i think he would put way too much pressure on his child to look perfect, act perfect, take pictures perfectly, basically be perfect.

rook hunt

rook could definitely have kids. about one or two, probably two because i feel like he believes in having siblings. he would definitely be a great dad because he would be very accepting, very tolerant. would love his kids regardless and be extremely supportive. might be the kind of dad to chaperone at his kid's junior prom but overall, i think he would be really sweet. you can count on him to go shopping with his child and to make them feel confident and beautiful and handsome.

epel felmier

honestly, i don't know. on one hand, i feel like epel wouldn't really have kids. but also, he's from a farming family so i would think he would have kids. it's entirely possible to think about him having a big family because of farming. but also i wouldn't be shocked if he only had, like, two kids max.

SAVANACLAW

leona kingscholar

absolutely not. he's happy being child-free and not needing to take care of a child. i think if his interaction with cheka were to say anything, leona's happy just being a grumpy uncle (part of me would like to believe he's a little endeared by his nephew but i highly doubt that).

ruggie bucchi

ruggie is a big maybe. on one hand, i can see him not having kids. on the other hand, i can see him having kids but only one. two maybe. he briefly mentions that he grew up in the slums which indicates he was impoverished, so if he did have kids he would only have one or two. both reasons follow the same logic of "less mouths to feed."

jack howl

yes. i believe he would have kids. maybe three to four. would be a sports dad and invest in his kids athletic hobbies. he wouldn't understand other hobbies but nonetheless i think he would be happy to learn about his kid's non-athletic interests.

OCTAVINELLE

azul ashengrotto

azul would only have a kid to help swindle people. if having a child can help his capitalistic aspirations then yes, he would have a kid. and i think as a result the child would also end up very much like azul. most likely would be a single dad. but can't cook. jade has to help teach him how to cook something edible.

jade leech

i'm not so sure about jade but i think if it came down to it, he's open to having kids. would he necessarily choose to have them? not really. but he's certainly open to the idea.

floyd leech

floyd, unlike his brother, would probably want kids. he would choose to have kids and having kids would mean constantly messing with them around. probably one or two. maybe twins. having twins would be quite the turn.

SCARABIA

kalim al-asim

he absolutely would have kids. and not just like one or two. but like three to four (maybe more?). he can afford it as the crown prince of the scalding sands. on top of that, he comes from a big family himself (implied with the constant food poisoning he got from eating other people's food aside from jamil's). on top of having a big family, he'd also be a great dad. loving, caring, taking interest in his kids' interests. might be a little aloof at times but it's endearing.

jamil viper

only about one kid. feel like jamil wouldn't want many kids if he had any. if there was a choice, he'd be child-free. being kalim's retainer is absolutely exhausting and if kalim had kids, no doubt jamil would have to help raise them. if he did have that one kid, jamil would be a good dad. dad's cooking is always the best.

IGNIHYDE

idia shroud

definitely would not have kids. he's better suited to be an older brother than a father. maybe you can argue the stuff he does for ortho translates to fatherly skills but i don't think idia would be able to handle it. him having a kid sounds really out of his comfort zone. he feels more like he would have a cat as a kid, or be a cat person in general.

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yesimwriting · 3 years

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BloodRoots in the Suburbs - chapter two

Chapter Two: Kill Habits, Not people

prologue

Chapter One: The Babysitter

*pls let me know if you prefer longer chapters with longer times between updates or shorter chapters that are up faster,, i’m trying to work out a writing schedule lol

a/n yall i just woke up and the amount of support this fic has gotten has made my heart feel so warm!! love yall!! and if you like it so far just wait until we get to the chapters i need to listen to taylor swift to write lmao

...also off topic but they’re putting harry styles in the mcu?? yeah they did that for me i love it

Series Summary: Bloodroots are such a strange flower--white and innocent looking yet undeniably poisonous. It has no place in the safest neighborhood in CA. Then again, neither do you. The suburbs are killing you, and no one understands that...at least you think no one does. I see that in the way you roll your eyes when your sister presses the issue of when you’re going to get back on your feet. I see that restlessness when you’re in the small plot of land that you’ve actually managed to turn into some type of garden. I see you; I understand you. And if it wasn’t for the confines I bear to protect my son, I’d let you know that. But for now, I settle for knowing that the two of us are equally trapped, and I take some solace in that. I feel bad about it, I do, considering that from what I’ve gathered you spent most of your life being considered the perfect, ideal golden girl that was nothing but potential. And now you’re no longer the gifted child, the one that’s first to raise their tiny hand in class, the one that knows everything. But that’s okay--because I’ll make my selfishness up to you.

Chapter Summary: What’s a cup of coffee between two neighbors? Nothing, until Joe realizes that people die a lot easier than habits do.

Joe’s POV

Who the fuck is Ashton?

Your sister is texting you to not come home for awhile in case he’s on the way to her house. Your house.

Maybe the person calling you is more of a problem than I thought. I want to help you, I really do, but I’m not sure I can justify it yet. I’m not alone anymore, I have a son to think about, and with how impulsive Love is, I need to keep myself under control. Henry can’t grow up with two murderers as parents, he’ll end up in the system and I know what that does to a child.

But I won’t let anyone hurt you, either. I promise.

You come back with no warning. “Hey, have you seen my phone? I thought it was in my back pocket, but--”

I turn the screen of your phone off. “Just found it.”

You don’t even look at me oddly before taking it. You’re not suspicious at all. Are you always this trusting? The kind of trusting people like Ashton have no problem taking advantage of? Your home screen turns on--another text? From your sister or the source of the problem? You frown, your eyebrows faintly drawing together.

“Something wrong?”

This isn’t about confirming what I know. What I’m really trying to figure out is how much you trust me, how much you’re willing to tell me. You shrug off your concern, shoving your phone into the back pocket of your jeans as you look back at me. “Worried older sisters, a tale as old as time.”

Worried older sisters? Are you really this dismissive about the issue, or are you putting up a brave front for the neighbor you don’t really know yet? I thought we already had more than that.

“...And ex-boyfriend’s tend to exasperate that instinct.”

So there is more of a connection here than just a distant, neighborly politeness. You let me know that it’s not all in my head, and I’m thankful for that. I’m also thankful that I know what Ashton is. Ex-boyfriend. An ex-boyfriend so bad you still feel the need to downplay everything he’s done to you, but you can’t hide all of it. Not from anyone that takes the time to note the look behind your eyes. Not from anyone that cares to pay attention. The rest of the world might be ignoring you, willing to let you fend for yourself, but not me, y/n. You’re not alone.

I wish there was a way to let you know that. But I can’t say it to you, not yet. “A boyfriend from New York?”

Your frown makes me regret me regret mentioning where you’re from. The fact that you’re from New York and that you left the city in less than amicable circumstances is no secret. I understand needing to disappear and having limited options, but you picked a hell of place for privacy.

“Yeah.” You wipe your hands on your jeans. “He’s from New York.”

I can save this, there has to be something I can say to get you to stop looking like a kicked puppy. It might have been too soon to test the waters around the New York subject. You’re resigned, tired about the inevitable conversation that forces you to relive what you believe are mistakes.

“And you need a break from New York?” An obvious question, I know, but I need to hear you say it. Maybe you don’t belong there anymore. I’m not deluded enough to think that you could ever belong here, but there must be somewhere...not LA, not again. Maybe you belong somewhere like DC now, the Washington Post would be lucky to have you, and there are a lot of bookstores there, old bookstores that could--

No. No. There’s no way for me to insert myself into your future. I can’t...I’m not supposed to try to. I hold Henry a little tighter, trying to remind myself why I have to be careful. “From him--I don’t need a break, I need an early retirement with a...401K.” You’re funnier than I realized, I’ll never doubt you again. “From New York, I don’t know. I can’t live with my sister forever, but I--sometimes I feel like I need the city, which is a weird thing to feel.”

You’re meant for more than the mundane, of course being surrounded by it makes you feel like you’re disappearing. I understand that; I understand you. “It’s not.”

Your eyes soften. You’re not used to being seen without someone asking for something in return. In New York, you thought people were seeing the real you when you wrote, but the moment the editors saw your talent, they exploited it. They squandered you, and you’re just starting to see it.

“There are other cities.” You have a talent for knowing when you’re treading on serious grounds. I can feel you turning away, maneuvering your feelings in a way that has to be practiced. “News never ends in Washington.”

I smile more than I should. Already, we’re on the same wave length. Like we’re meant to be, like I was always supposed to find you. Find you here, not in New York where you believed that you ran the world and I believed that my one was Guinevere Beck. Here--where I need you and you need me.

“I think DC’s worthwhile.” I’m trying to let you go, I really am. “But I...I don’t know much about it.”

You nod once, no sign of rejection on your face. “Neither do I, to be honest.” I want to tell you that we can learn about it together. I want you to picture a world in which we’re together. I want--I want you. “Well, thank you for letting me watch Henry, I should go before I overstay my welcome.” Like you could ever do that. “You must be tired from work.”

Do you really think I don’t want you here? And what about the text your sister sent you? Are you going to dismiss it? Maybe when you brushed it off as your sister being overprotective, you weren’t trying to appear together in front of a stranger. Is that how you actually feel? Your sister seemed to be scared of him. She said he was crazy enough to get on a plane and come here. He knows you don’t want to talk to him, he could be dangerous. For all we know, he wants to hurt you, y/n.

Your phone rings. I know you want to hide the way you’re feeling, but I see it. The way your body tenses. “Not too tired.” You nod once, so distracted you’re not questioning why I don’t ask about the phone call. “Do you want me to walk you back?”

You almost smile. I can feel what you almost say: it’s just across the street. “I um...I think I’m going to go to that coffee place at the end of main street before I go back.” At least you’re listening to your sister. “My sister doesn’t keep it in the house anymore, I think a part of her believes that if it’s in her cupboards the toxins will leak into everything and somehow make it into her uterus.” The moment the words are out of your mouth, you cringe, shutting your mouth. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I sound like a sucky person and I just said the word ‘uterus’ to you.” You grimace again. “And now I’ve said it twice.” You shake your head, apologetic. “I’m just gonna go before I say something else dum--”

“No, no.” It’s nowhere near the worst I’ve heard. Love felt comfortable expressing all of her pregnancy. “I um...I could actually go for some coffee.” I shouldn’t be doing this. I--I have to do this. Someone could be after you. “And Henry needs his daily walk.” Too definitive, I need to ease off. “If it’s not an imposition. You know, if you want your alone time, I totally get it, after dealing with--”

“No.” Your chin tilts less than an inch upwards. You want me to go with you. “I like company, but definitely don’t feel like you have to.”

“I definitely don’t feel like I have to.”

You smile. The look erases all of my hesitation. “Okay...then let’s go.”

With Henry in his stroller, we walk outside. I try to casually watch your sister’s house--there’s no new car in the drive way, and there’s nothing to indicate that someone that’s not supposed to be there is inside.

As we pass the houses down the street, you stay at what you consider a safe distance...but it wouldn’t take much for me to get our hands to touch. You want me to have the option to brush our fingers together, the option to hold your hand.

All of us walking together to get a mid afternoon coffee. It feels natural. Like we’re supposed to be one family. You feel it the way you felt our connection in your front yard. You still don’t have a name for this feeling, and it’s starting to pull at you, but you’re not as uncomfortable as you were the first time you felt it. That’s how we’ll be--you’ll see that there’s nothing scary about being seen as long as I’m the one looking.

I’m going to let you go. I let out a breath, doing all I can to focus on what’s directly in front of me. Henry is calm in his stroller, but his presence is enough to remind me what I’m holding myself back for. I’ll do anything for my son, which means I need to stay with Love, which means there’s no guarantee I can protect you from her.

“You’re going to be disappointed in my coffee order.” The comment comes with no warning, and neither does your sudden lightness.

“Disappointed?” I know you have to hear the smile in my voice, but there’s no point in trying to hide how your good humor makes everything feel right. This is how it’s supposed to be.

You nod, turning your head slightly to watch me as you walk. “My coffee order is painfully un-enigmatic.”

Un-enigmatic? I laugh. Okay, I’ll give you that one. “One, you’re implying that a coffee order is a worthy indicator of whether one is or isn’t an enigma. Two, un-enigmatic isn’t a word.”

“Is to.”

“Is not.”

Your eyebrows draw together sharply and your lips press together into a line I have no choice but to describe as obstinate, but the corner of your mouth betrays you, tilting upwards and letting me know that you’re fighting a smile. Our argument is nothing more than a way to pass time, but your expression just makes me want to give in. It makes me want to give in on anything. You can be right about everything forever.

“I used it in an article once, multiple editors read it, and none crossed it out.”

The warmth that returned to you is beginning to fade. You’re thinking of The New York Times again, of what they did to you. Of what that asshole editor accused you of so that he could get away with the way he harasses female writers. “Yeah, and since when is the New York Times known for their judgement?” You smile, but it’s nothing like the one before. This one is for my sake. “Not since they let you go, that’s for sure.”

Your grin isn’t exactly happy, but it’s not sad either. I’ll take it for now. “Thanks.”

“I’m serious, the idiot that fired you is going to regret it.”

You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at me. “The ‘idiot that fired me’ has two Pulitzer Prizes.”

“So?” How could he be better than you? You’re half his age and already working directly beneath him. He probably used that scandal as an excuse to get rid of you before you could lap him. “One day, you’ll have three.”

You drop your head when you think I’m not looking so that I can’t see the way you’re trying to fight a real smile. I’m not exaggerating, y/n. Look at how far you’ve come with no one particularly looking out for you. Imagine how successful you could be if I was there for you. “And you’ll be able to say you knew me when.”

We’re only a few steps away from the coffee shop. “That I will.”

I try to open the door for you, but you beat me to it, holding it open so that I can push the stroller through the entrance. When the door falls shut, you don’t hesitate to wander towards the back of the coffee shop. You stop at a table that’s tucked far away enough from the window that people walking by won’t immediately notice you, but not so far that you’re distant from sunlight. Your life must revolve around that--wanting to be in the sun, but being afraid of the window.

We sit across from each other, Henry’s stroller tucked out of the way, between a wall and our table. “So what is your un-enigmatic coffee order?”

You place your hands on the table, leaning towards me in a way that makes the collar of your shirt lower itself slightly, hinting at just a little more cleavage than what would be considered polite. Are you being more than friendly? “Caramel iced latte, extra cold foam.”

...At least you’re honest.

“Don’t laugh.”

I tried not to, y/n. “I am--I’m not laughing.” Your eyebrows draw together, skeptical. “I am just appreciating your honesty.”

The way you glare at me makes it even harder to keep a straight face. “Appreciating my honesty? Really?”

“Yes.” You don’t believe me and I can’t even blame you for it. “Your coffee order isn’t funny.” You raise an eyebrow. “It’s not, it’s the--it’s the way you presented it. Who describes a coffee order as a way to determine whether someone is or isn’t an enigma?”

You blink, a hint of doubt on your face. “What’s your coffee order?”

A change of topic, I’ll let you have it. “Half a packet of cream.”

Your eyebrows draw together, frowning in surprise. “That’s it? That’s your whole order?” I nod once, you frown in a way that makes it hard to keep my smile in check. “That is so not fair.”

Okay, you can’t get mad at me for laughing at that. “How?”

“Because that’s the kind of coffee order that’s like...full of intrigue, and mystery and--” You sigh, grinning, “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

I wish I could. “Save your debate for when I get back with our coffees.”

You turn as I stand. “I can get my coffee--”

“No, no, you stay here with Henry.” You’re not convinced, you’re not used to people doing things for you the way you do things for them. I turn away before you can say anything else. You’ll get used to people doing things for you.

I walk up to the counter, ordering the coffee and paying for it as the barista makes it. When I come back, you’re looking at your phone. Do you look worried, or is that in my head? You smile when you see me, pocketing your phone as I sit down across from you.

“Your unremarkable, un-mysterious coffee.”

You like that I’m joking, that we can have banter. “Thank you.” You take the cup from me, the tips of our fingers brushing. Could that have been on purpose? “How much do I owe you for the coffee.”

“Nothing.” It’s the truth--after all you’ve given me, what’s the cost of a five dollar cup of coffee?

You don’t seem to see it my way, that’s why you’re glaring in a way I think you imagine is intimidating. “Joe.”

I take a sip of coffee. “Y/n.” I use the same sharp tone that you used. “Hey, I still owe you money from babysitting.”

“I told you, you don’t--”

“And I told you, you’re getting paid whether you want to be or not.”

You hold your hands up in mock defense, easing into your seat. “Fine, but this better come out of that.”

I mean this with only love, y/n, but that’s never happening. “Okay, I concede.” Your eyebrows draw together, you’re still suspicious. I need to change the subject. “So how was Henry?”

“Amazing, you may have the world’s greatest baby.”

“He was putting on a show for you.”

You laugh slightly between sips of your drink. “Sarah told me you guys were new here.”

“We moved for Henry, you can’t beat the schools.” You nod, even though school districts have nothing to do with your world. You want to understand me. “I lived in LA for awhile, but I’m from Brooklyn.”

The corner of your mouth turns upwards. The city, something in your wheelhouse, something you know how to understand. “Brooklyn?” I nod. “Do you ever miss New York?”

Oh, this conversation. There’s only so much I can tell you about New York. “Sometimes, but sometimes you have to know when it’s time to let something go.” Like this--I need to take my own advice and let you go. Henry coos, reminding me of the permanent link I have to the unstable monster that would kill you if she ever even suspected I’ve thought about you.

“You’re right.” You nod, trying not to frown. You’re thinking of what happened to you, of what you’ve lost. “But sometimes that’s easier said than done.”

I know exactly how you feel. “If letting go was easy, there’d be less screwed up people in the world.”

You tilt your head to the side, something warm outshining the shadows of your past. See, y/n, I can help you. “That’s fair.” You take a sip of coffee, a bit of foam lingering above your top lip.

“You um...you’ve got some...” You look down, embarrassed as you wipe at the spot right next to the patch of foam.

“Did I get it?”

“Um.” You’re watching me carefully...or is it expectantly? I move my hand slowly, giving you every opportunity to stop me that I know you won’t take. My thumb brushes against the top of your lip, the rest of my fingers gently pressing beneath your jaw. The foam isn’t there anymore, but my thumb still is.

I can’t move away. I don’t want--I can’t let you go. There has to be a way for things to work out...don’t I owe it to us to try? You’re my one, y/n, I know it. I’ve always believed in the concept, the one person you’re meant for, your one soulmate. Candace wasn’t committed, Beck was a child that kept choosing ways to hurt herself, Natalie only saw me as entertainment, and Love...she’s unstable. But you--you’re worth fighting for. It might be messy, but there has to be a way, love always finds a way. I don’t have to be some kind of handcuff, maybe there’s a way for us to have everything. Maybe there’s a way for us to have Washington together.

I’ve felt sure that I found the one before, but this...it’s different. I know it is.

I brush my thumb along the slope of your lips, feeling your warmth, your softness. You hold still, your eyes are wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

You want this too, you feel our connection and it scares you for so many reasons. You’re not the type to go after a married man, much less a married neighbor with an infant son. And after what happened in New York, you’re in no state to take risks. You’re also just generally scared of being known and cared for--probably because of Ashton, who--if your sister’s texts are to be believed--probably a stalker.

All of these things are reasons for you to back away, but you don’t. If anything, you lean closer as much as you dare, just angling your head slightly. Your lips part and I hold my breath. What are you going to say?

A ringing sound forces reality to crash around us. You pull back completely, muttering a quick--and awkward--thank you, before checking your phone. If I didn’t have it out for Ashton before, I really do now.

You frown--are you upset that we were interrupted or is something else wrong? “Anything important?”

“No,” the response comes a little too fast, and you can’t quite look me in the eye. That’s okay--I’m affected by the moment we just shared too. I can be patient, I can put in the work that I need to so that you can feel comfortable being cared for. “I um--loose ends in New York.”

Loose ends that fly out because you won’t answer their obsessive phone calls? “Oh.”

“Nothing bad,” you assure me with one quick nod. “Editors keep reaching out.”

Oh, a tale as old as the social media age. You may not have benefited from a post #metoo world, but they still want you to be apart of it. They want to make you the latest of the club of petty, scorned women. They’ll have you work on a book a ghostwriter helps you with so that it can published before the news cycle can get bored of you and then they’ll send you to onto one of those talk shows where women yell at other women in the name of empowerment. They want you to take an injustice and re-market it into something viral--it’s a brutal blow to feminism, but as far as career strategies go, it’s not the worst.

But you don’t want that. You don’t really know what you want, that’s why you came here...into a town that could have come from that universe in A Wrinkle in Time. “Oh, should I expect a tell-all?”

You look away from your phone screen, wrinkling your nose. The look tells me I was right about you. You find the idea of exploiting what you’ve gone through nauseating. Maybe one day you’ll be able to talk about it, write about it even, and make the asshole that decided his dick was worth more than your career suffer, but you need time. You need someone to help you heal. “No, I can’t even write a cohesive email about what happened let alone--” You cut yourself off, reaching for your cup even though most of what’s left is ice. You don’t want to talk about this, especially not with me yet. I’m still a little more than a nice stranger, someone to be polished around. I can wait until I’m not, so I let it go. “At this point they’d take anything, but...”

Anything? Now that’s different--don’t get me wrong, it’s still an exploitation of what you went through so that some publishing house can get money, but at least they’re letting you pick the format. “But?”

You tap your nails on the counter. You’re nervous now. “I’ve always wanted to write a book, but like this...it feels like--god, this is going to sound stupid.”

How could anything causing you so much stress be stupid? “You’ve told me your coffee order, I doubt it’s worse than that.”

You look up again, almost smiling. You appreciate the joke. “It feels like cheating.” I don’t react because I know from the way that you blurted out the words like you were ripping off the world’s most adhesive bandaid, there’s more. “If I write a book, and it gets attention and everything I’ve ever wanted works out...and it’s because agents and publishers were interested in me because of what he did--it feels like cheating. It feels like my entire career will be his, and that’s exactly what he said.” Your eyes are wider now, practically glazed over. Please don’t cry over him--I don’t know what I’ll do if I see you cry over him. I don’t know if I have the self control to not search up flights to New York the second you walk away if you start crying because of him. “Forget I said anything--I told you it was stupid. And it’s not like I’ve really been able to write anything since...”

It was worse than the papers said. I don’t know how anyone could talk to you about it and not see it. He did more than just offer you something...he really hurt you. The man’s name had been kept out of several articles, but I know he wouldn’t be hard to find. He wouldn’t be hard to get rid of. You weren’t the first young writer he said he wanted to work with, you’re just the first to say something. There are no doubt more victims who were silenced, who settled in court but got nothing. It wouldn’t make me a bad person to get rid of him. I know I don’t want to do things that could make me a bad parent, but I don’t think this would. I mean, I don’t want to raise my son in a world in which men like the one that hurt women like you get away with it with no consequences.

“Y/n, there is no world, no universe, even, in which he gets credit for anything you do.” You nod, your expression softening slightly but not exactly relaxing. I don’t blame you, you’ve probably been told that by every person that you’ve told that to. I watch you carefully, desperate for any clue on how to help. How can I take your hurt away, y/n? Tell me and I’ll do it, please. “Do you want him dead?”

Shit--I shouldn’t have said that. You’ve known me for less than 48, you don’t have any background on my sense of humor yet, maybe I can play it off as a joke? Shit, you’re still looking at me like that.

“What?”

“I kind of exaggerated, a little, but I was just trying to see how angry you are. Not that you’d kill him, or that anyone would, but there’s this saying about anger and sadness and how most anger is just sadness...but that’s bullshit, because you should be angry--but not murderously angry, it’s--”

You save me from myself with a laugh. An almost teary, awkward laugh. “Relax, I didn’t think you meant it literally.” Thank god. “I don’t know how angry I am--it comes and goes, and--sometimes I think I wouldn’t mind pulling off a kind of The Count of Monte Cristo-esque situation.” Are you joking? Do you want him gone? “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“At least it’s the murder that involves the least violence.”

You don’t quite smile, but at least you’re relaxed again. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

You shrug before relaxing further into your seat. You’re trying to shrink away from me, from what you feel. “The company, the coffee, not making me feel crazy.”

“Anytime.” You nod, finally smiling again. “No I mean it--literally ‘any time’, my only options for friends here are men that virtual reality their porn, and spend a lot of time in the wilderness for no reason other than that they can, and men that make me drink caviar flavored, zero calorie energy drinks.” You laugh, the sound so genuine all of my bad thoughts are forgotten.

“The wives are nice,” your defense is weak and you know it, “if you actively try to block out most of their gossiping.” So that’s why you’ve buried yourself away, confining yourself to your backyard, and only bearing the real world out of necessity. “Natalie seemed the nicest, but that might just be because she wanted a friend.” Of course you liked Natalie. “It’s terrible, what happened to her.”

“Yeah, it really is.”

“Did you know her well?”

Outside of our almost-affair and then covering up her murder? No, not really. “She was right next door, I saw her but we didn’t talk often. Had a glass of wine with her once, around the time I moved in...but I didn’t know her well enough to be able to talk about her too much now without feeling...” How do I word this in order to get you to stop asking questions I can’t let you ask?

“I get it. Grieving someone you barely knew because they suffered a tragedy feels weird and kind of wrong if you do it openly.” ...Yeah, not quite, but let’s go with that. “I’m glad you’re honest.”

Ah, so you’ve met Sherry and you know about the way she twisted Natalie’s interference as a tool to gain more followers. You don’t know it, but this is just proof of how good you are--you won’t even turn your own pain into profit for no reason other than financial. You want to wait until you’re no longer hurt so that you can be tactful, I respect that.

“I am honest,” I agree, “and I meant it when I said we should do this again.”

You hesitate because you’re not sure if my offer is out of pity. The way your eyebrows draw together tell me you can’t stand pity. “I’d like that. I’d like to be friends.”

Friends. If that’s what we need to be for now, I’ll take it. I’ll be patient. And if I want there to be a chance of this working out, I need to be tactful. Which means I can’t let myself get lost in our moments together. Love will be back soon. “Well, friend, I’m ready to go if you are.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

We walk out together...a little slower than the pace we used to walk here. You’re more at ease now. You’re getting used to talking to me. You ask about my job, what I did before this...I lie as little as possible. You let me get in a few questions. By the time we’re rounding the block, I know that you’re the youngest of three. Your sister is two months shy of being ten years older than you and your brother is four years older than her. You’ve felt like the forgotten child more than you’d ever admit to yourself, but you’re not bitter about it. At least not towards your siblings. Your mother is a mystery...you speak about her like she’s an expensive vase you’ve never been allowed to touch. You never mention a father. You do mention a few good friends: an old roommate waiting for you in New York named Sicily--and you don’t let me get away with laughing at the pretentiousness of naming a child Sicily--and two girls that you used to go to NYU with, Camille and Charlie.

We’re only a few feet away from your house and I’m sadder than I should be. I’ll see you soon...and if Ashton’s there, waiting for you--

There’s a car in the driveway that wasn’t there before. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s him. The car is nice, it could belong to your brother-in-law--maybe he just got back from work. Or--

“Oh my god...” You stop walking, I tighten my grip on Henry’s stroller. Is it him? What kind of unstable person would follow you from New York?

The driver’s door is opened, both of us stay still as someone comes out of the car. Their back straightens as they shut the car door. It’s...

“Colin!” Your enthusiasm isn’t making me feel any better. “You’re here!”

The guy--who is honestly, way too tall for you--walks around the car. You take off, running to hug the stranger. Colin. He didn’t come up today when we were walking back to the coffee shop.

You pull away from the hug first, but Colin seems to try to make it linger. “Colin, you’re here.”

“You didn’t think I’d leave you here by yourself forever.” Maybe you did, considering that he didn’t. help you in New York.

“No, not forever.” Your tight smile tells me you’re thinking what I was thinking. It’s easy for anyone to come in like the good guy after the aftermath of an incident, but he didn’t jump into the burning building to save. “Please tell me you’re not here on behalf of the agency. I’d hate to have to kick you out.“

He works at an agency? He doesn’t care about you, y/n--he wants to use you the same way everyone else does. Why else would he show up now? If he cared, he would have been there for you before. “One, you can’t kick me out I’m staying in a hotel.” Doesn’t mean she has to let you hang around. “And two, don’t be so cynical--I missed you, babe.” Babe? Don’t be so cynical? Is this really your type, y/n? Sleazy men that are genetically pre-dispositioned to dismiss every emotion a woman feels? “And who’s this...”

"Oh, this is Joe...and his son, Henry--they live across the street.” How comforting, you didn’t completely forget my existence the moment you saw this guy park his escalade and step out in a suit that’s way too tight for a man his age. Note the sarcasm.

“Joe.” He doesn’t like me. I know it the moment he looks me in the eye--I can see it, the silent ‘thanks for watching her until I decided I was done being busy, but back off now’. “And Henry.” He waves, i have to bite back to urge to tell him to not look at my son. I’m holding it together for you. “Nice to you meet you guys.”

“Yeah, good to meet you too, man.” I can be polite for now. For your sake. I need to know who he is. I need to know how large of an obstacle has just been thrown into our already difficult path, and I can’t exactly find out in front of you. “I had fun getting coffee, but if I don’t get Henry back for his nap, his entire schedule will be off. Do you mind if I drop off the baby sitting money off later?”

“Oh, no--I don’t mind at all, do what you need to do for Henry, and I’ll see you two later.” And I’ll be seeing you first.

I wave a goodbye to Colin, because I’m holding onto the performance I need to give for you. After I turn around, I hear him whisper a sharply skeptical, “Babysitting?” To which you reply with a terribly giggly, “shut up.”

Who is this loafer wearing, neatly trimmed stubbled asshole? I don’t know, but I know I’m going to find out, because despite all the wrong things you said...you were right about one of them: I’ll see you later.

Taglist: @maggiecc @im-sidney @eveieforeve02 @caitlyn-s-bitch @darkened-writer @qardansngan @a-dorkier-book-keeper @littlebrowngirl @kittykylax @everday-imfangirling

#joe goldberg #joe goldberg x reader #joe goldberg you #joe goldberg imagine #joe goldberg x you #you netflix #you #love quinn x reader #love quinn #you show x reader #you show imagine #you imagine #penn badgley

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caramelcal · 3 years

Text

his favorite club

warnings: swearing, arguing, talks of murder, gangs, use of weapons etc. don’t read if you are not comfortable with these!

word count: 2.5k

a/n: HELLO!!!! WELCOME BACK TO THE NEXT LUKE/BAMBI POST!

thank you so much for all the love anons <3

requests: Anonymous asked:

Could you write a Luke x gang where him and the reader are fighting and maybe his arm goes up and she thinks he’s going to hit her but would never and it’s fluffy in the end?

Anonymous asked:

For the Luke x gang could you write something angsty like maybe he doesn’t come home on time like usual and y/n is really worried idk maybe goes to his place of business and it starts a big fight and the reader gets a bit scared of how mad he is? Idk you can take it in any direction.

Anonymous asked:

Loved the new Luke post. Was wondering if the next part could have some danger concerning the reader? Or maybe she sees the dangerous part of him and it scares her?

The only sound filling the apartment was the sounds of the small girl's shoes hitting off of the floor loudly, and the soft but irritating clicking of the clock that stood on the wall in front of her. It was 8:13 pm. Over an hour later than Luke had said he was going to be.

Bambi knew the dangers of the work that Luke lived in, but he had only ever been once late and even then, she had got a text explaining that he would be. Yet, this time, she never got a text, a call, nothing.

Radio silence.

Her stomach clenched up every time she thought about the possibilities of what could have happened to Luke. She wouldn't consider herself a pessimist, but she can't exactly say that she was expecting the best.

She was sure that if Luke didn't get home soon, the floor would have worn away from the amount of pacing she was doing right now. The clock continued to tick on, each movement from the small circular thing stuck on the wall bringing her more and more anxiety.

He should be home.

Maybe that's why she found herself in one of Luke's cars, somehow managing to sneak past the two members of Luke's gang that she had seen on the way down, and evading Jacob, Luke's personal driver.

In fact, Bambi hadn't driven a car since she moved in with Luke, always being driven around by either Jacob or Luke himself. It felt weird being behind a wheel again, but she didn't have time to dwell on it or soak up in the power she felt inkling into her chest before she was speeding out of the garage, onto the main highway of the city.

If Bambi was being honest, she probably broke about seven driving laws (if there were that many, probably, she thought) on the way to the club that Luke often found himself at. He never brought her there, and actually, forbid her from coming to altogether, but she knew he couldn't be too mad considering it was all about her concern about him.

From the moment she walked in, she felt out of place. Men in dark button-ups, cigarettes falling from their lips, women in minimal and sexy clothing, drinks all around. The red luminous lights of the bar being the only light provided. Her eyes scanned the area, looking for her tall boyfriend but it was really difficult.

A lot of the people in here were very tall, much taller than Bambi was, so trying to see over them was impossible. She was very out of place, alone, scared, and looked far too good to be in such a twisted club.

Somehow, she managed to make her way over to the bar, where she recognized a figure with his back turned towards her, making a cocktail. It was only seconds after when he turned around, dimpled face on display, he almost spilled the drink on him with how fast he stopped upon seeing her.

His eyes whipped around wildly around the club before walking over to her and whispering, "You shouldn't be here! Didn’t Luke forbid you from coming here? You need to leave!"

"Nice to see you too, Ash," Bambi couldn't help the sarcasm falling off of her lips before she asked, "Luke never got home. Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine, he just got caught up with some paperwork and stuff, he should be back soon,"

"Paperwork?" She asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at the gang member.

"Well yeah, just updating a file on the drug run today just to say it went well," Ashton shrugged lightly, "he should be done soon."

Even though Ashton shrugged it off well, Bambi knew he was lying. She could feel it in her bones, in her gut, that he was lying and she was determined to find out the truth.

She shrugged lightly, "Well if it's just paperwork then he won't mind me being there."

With that, she stalked away from the bar in search of the backrooms, wasting no time for Ashton to catch up with her as she went on her way. She walked around the back hallways, looking for any indication of Luke's presence.

The rooms were silent. All but one.

"Please! I don't know anything! Stop!" It was a plead filled with both pain and desperation but it was quickly cut off with the sound of a swift but powerful hit.

Her pulse raced, legs shakily making their way towards the room, gently pushing the door open. It was silent, the door, cracking open so that the small girl could see.

Bambi felt sick.

She could see her boyfriend’s blond curls held up in a hair tie she had loaned him earlier this morning, bloody hand reaching up high as he punched the poor boy on the chair again.

“I’ll give you one more chance before I use something more than my hand,” He threatened gruffly, causing Bambi to flinch. Her breath was caught in her throat, eyes welling up in tears. She knew she shouldn’t have been so upset, she knew her boyfriend was a gang member, but something about seeing him doing this to someone with the same hands that caressed her and made her feel safe felt...wrong.

Suddenly, Ashton entered another door that entered into the room that Luke was in, alerting both Luke and Michael, who had been overlooking the situation. Only then did Bambi realize that Luke had picked up an object, it glinting in the light as he moved towards the door that Ashton had entered.

Luke was holding a knife.

A soft gasp escaped Bambi’s lips, thankfully not loud enough for Luke to hear. She didn’t want him near her, not right now anyway. She didn’t even want him to look at her.

“She’s here! You need to stop, Luke!” Bambi took that as her clear to get the hell out of there. If what Ashton said was true, about Luke being mad she was here, she didn’t want him to find her. Not anymore, anyway.

She didn’t want him to get anywhere near him. How could she possibly sleep at night knowing the man that slept beside her, that played with her hair, that made her feel safe, did that to people? What if he got so mad that he did that to her?

She was being irrational, but at that moment she couldn’t help it.

She shuffled backward, away from the door that led to the room Luke was in, choosing to swiftly get away from him now that she could.

Now, she wasn’t scared for Luke, she was scared of Luke.

“Hey kid, where are you goin'?” Calum asked as she crashed into his chest, making her stumble back lightly, mouth ajar.

She went to speak, to come up with some excuse but she didn’t have time. She couldn’t sit here and entertain Calum with a nice, little conversation when she was trying to evade her boyfriend.

That’s why she just turned, maneuvering around her, and started to run.

“Bambi!” The girl became rigid as she heard him shout, becoming increasingly aware that he had caught up to her, and was planning on talking to her. It was almost as if she was frozen in place, unable to move into the car and unable to move towards him, not that she wanted to. However, she could hear him come to a stop behind her, his voice softer as he spoke, trying not to gather any attention towards the couple, “Why are you here? I thought I told you that you weren’t allowed at the club?”

Her mouth ran dry, unable to respond. In fact, she acted as if she never heard him speak, afraid of what he would do if she pissed him off. Yet, her silence was probably the most angering thing to the tall blond boyfriend of hers, which became obvious when he spoke next.

“Bambi? Let me get you out of here, I’ll drive,” He went to grab the car keys out of her hand, but she had seen his shadow when he went to grab them, quickly jerking out of his grasp, turning around, and staring up at him.

She didn’t miss the slight shock in his eyes when she did so, or the irritancy that bubbled deep beneath. Her throat felt thick, clouded, but she quickly cleared it, voice forceful as she stared up at the gang member, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Bambi, what the hell are you talking about? Just let me drive and we can talk about this when we get home lets not cause a scene,” Luke was trying to reason with the girl, not cause a scene in front of his men, but Bambi was not having it. She wasn’t about to get into a car with him, shaking her head wildly, “Bambi.”

His tone was a warning, deep voice, cold tone. It was demanding but Bambi was not in the mood for Luke to boss her about, especially not right now.

“What? You don’t want people to realize that we’re fighting and that I’m your girlfriend, is that it?” The words were flying out of the girl’s mouth before she could stop them and Luke’s blue eyes glared down at her, his jaw ticking.

“Is this really what this is about?” Luke asked, referring to the argument they had gone through all of those weeks ago. Yet, that it isn’t. The problem was that Bambi saw something she wasn’t supposed to, that Luke had tried to shield her from as best as he could. Even if it meant that she wasn’t allowed near his favorite club.

“You nearly killed him, Luke.”

Her voice was painfully quiet, muttering in a way that makes it obvious she had to force the words out. Her fists are clenched at her sides, her eyes looking down to evade the scrutiny of his gaze.

“Bambi you don’t know what you saw-”

“You had a knife, Luke! I saw you punch him just look at your hands right now they’re-” She stopped briefly, glancing down at the man’s hands, the ones that gave her such tender, sweet love. The ones that made her feel safe, yet now? All she seen was all of the blood coating them, some dry some relatively fresh, “they’re covered in his blood.”

Luke flexed his hands slightly, feeling the blood coating them become ever so evident, “What else am I supposed to do? What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? I work in a fucking gang, you knew this.”

“I didn’t think-” The girl cut herself off, shaking her head as tears rose to her eyes, shielding her view.

“What the fuck do you think I do? Hand out fucking rainbow stickers and give them a nice hug? That’s not how this works, you know this,” His voice was harsh, and slowly rising to a loud level, and all Bambi wants is to go and hide away from him; to be by herself. She can’t handle this, not right now.

“How can you expect me to be ok with this?” The girl asked, “It’s sick! It’s twisted! You could have killed that guy!”

“Don’t suddenly go getting morals just because you saw a bit of fucking blood! We’re leaving. Now,” His voice is demanding, loud and borderline shouting, his hand coming down towards her rapidly to grab the car keys off of her but then he froze at the movement from the small girl in front of him.

She flinched.

Silence filled them both.

The tears that tracked down her face started to build in his eyes, his heart dropping to his feet when he saw the girl cower. It was barely for a second when she shielded her head, in the same place he had hit that guy barely five minutes before like he was going to hit her.

He spluttered with his mouth ajar. Bambi, his Bambi, the one he had worked so hard to protect, to love, to cherish, was scared of him. He just wanted to comfort her, to hold her close and let her know that everything was going to be okay. Yet, he couldn’t comfort her that he would battle all her fears when he was what she was scared of.

“Bambi...” It was a sad plead.

The girl never replied, tears becoming thicker as she shook her head. She was overcome with emotions. Afraid, sad, ashamed, angry; she wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling at that moment.

“Bambi I’d never...”

The girl wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Never in his whole life had Luke felt so ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he would ever let a fragment of his girl believe he would ever harm her or put her in harm’s way.

He would do everything to make sure she was okay.

“I need to go,” The girl gingerly wiped her tears with her -Luke’s- jumper, the large sleeves rolled up but still covering her hands fully. She entered the car and Luke made no move to stop her, he didn’t care that she had taken one of his cars at that moment, he didn’t care that she had disobeyed his orders of coming to the club, he didn’t care about anything other than how he had wronged her.

Then, he was left by himself, in the middle of the club’s back parking lot, blood still coating his hands that even made him feel sick now. The cold night air nipped at his skin, yet again reminding him that he was void of her warmth. He was all alone.

He returned home all of twenty minutes later, a fresh pair of clothes on and hands bare of blood. The house was quiet but he knew that she was there, the bedroom door ever so slightly ajar, a faint light emitting from the room.

He leaned against the door frame, watching her with a sullen face as she packed. She was only packing a few outfits, not anything major as she sniffed lightly. She was still crying, Luke noticed, and it made his heart ache, “I’m leaving for Anna’s. I just need some time.”

Luke knew he was in no position to argue with the girl right now. She was fragile enough as it is, and even if Luke didn’t want her to leave, she needed space and he respected that.

She slung the overnight bag over her shoulder, hefting it up, “I’ve called an Uber. They’re waiting downstairs.”

Luke nodded as Bambi stopped in front of him, and almost hesitantly, he leaned down, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead, “Stay safe, ok? I love you.”

The girl nodded her head, sending the boy a tight-lipped smile before leaving, leaving Luke alone once again. Yet, despite the heartbreak, he felt in that moment as she left, he knew this wasn’t the end. He’d manage to make it up to her, he was sure of it. He wouldn’t rest easy until he did.

#luke hemmings 5sos #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings gang #luke hemmings #gang!luke hemmings #gang!luke hemmings x reader #gang!sos #luke hemmings x oc #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x y/n #gang!luke hemmings x oc

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darylsgirl · 3 years

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Mac's Girl

Request 1: Do you write for any Norman characters? If so can you do one with mac from red canyon please? Request 2: Hey sweetie! Could I possibly request a Mac fic? Like he's angry and aggressive and just needs a release and finds the sweetest most innocent virgin and just goes to town roughly on her? Love ya stories BTW!

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long with this! I decided to pretty much write the full Red Canyon film out as it just felt right! As always let me know what you thought! If you want adding to my tag list let me know!

Hope y'all having a great day :)

Love Jen <3

Warnings: Ok so just like the film Please don't read this if the movie triggered you in any way. Mentions of rape/Non-con, Blood, Rough sex, Virginity being taken, Knife play, Murder, Lots of swearing, Smut

Master List

After a long few days drive, a lot of wrong turns and a stop by a cop, you had finally made it, The property your friend and her brother were trying to sell, It was the whole reason you had all come out here was to help them with the business side of the sale, Wanting to make the most of it the group had decided to turn it into a road trip to Utah and while you were there you were all going to go riding in the canyon’s over summer.

Once you had arrived at the siblings Devon & Regina’s property, Your boyfriend Tom, Devon & Samir their friend all stood outside laughing with a beer leaving the women you Regina & Terra to take all the bags in and get the place ready to stay in….Chivalry is definitely dead you thought rolling your eyes.

When everything was set up, The three of you had managed to wrangle up a meagre dinner. Shouting the boys inside you all tucked in before heading to bed. Tom stumbling drunkenly and more than likely drugged up behind you, Pulling your body to his chest slurring his words.

“Finally Alone Y/N, Bout time we sealed the deal here”

Wanting to gag as you felt the revulsion sweeping through your stomach.

“Go to sleep Tom” You hissed through your teeth, pulling your body away from his. You weren’t going to let your first time be with him in the state he was in, In this disgusting place. It wasn’t like you wanted anything romantic, Just not this. The first time you had sex you should at least feel something other than sick at the prospect.

“Frigid bitch” He murmured before rolling away from you, His snores following soon after.

The next day had at least been better taking the bikes from the barn feeling your body physically relax riding through the canyons as it always did when you were on a bike, That was until Samir had gotten a wheel stuck in an old tunnel coming off the bike and having to be rescued before the skin could be torn from his face.

Pulling up to the Luna Mesa afterwards so ready to drink the day away, It definitely didn't look like much but as long as the beer was cold you couldn’t of cared less, Once you had gotten your first drinks and sat down a man came over to speak to Devon introducing himself as Walter, The owner of the bar and the man taking care of the property you were staying in.

After the first drink you had started to feel the exhaustion of the day falling over you, Tom gave you a quick peck on the cheek as you both stood, Him going outside to have his cigarette and you excusing yourself to use the restroom.

Patting your chest and face with cold water you tried to wake up, It was going to be a long night. You knew the guys they would want to spend most of the night here drinking, When they were all together they usually drank until dawn, You scoffed thinking about it college boys ugh…

Leaving the toilet you glanced over to the door just as Tom knocked into Samir sending the drinks to the floor. Before you knew it Tom had been thrown into the bar.

“Easy Partner” Tom groaned, not really aware of what was happening.

“Do i look like your fucking partner? As a matter of fact i don't think i fucking know you?” The man growled back angrily.

Devon noticing the commotion rushed over to help. “Hey mac...MAC!.. It’s uh been awhile ….remember me? That’s tom he’s my cousin”

“Man Devon Ashton and his cousin Tommy, I never thought I'd see you again” Mac replied, his attention fully on Devon now getting close enough to be in his face.

Devon continued looking towards Tom and Samir trying to keep his tone light “This is mac he owns the dog”

Terra cutting in "Oh the animal lover” She scoffed.

Mac ignored this turning back to the bar and raising his voice “Reunion like this is cause for a celebration, Let’s have some whiskey”

Noticing your friend Regina, Still next to the table standing looking worried, You made your way over to her, Still listening to the exchange at the bar as it seemed everyone in the place was.

“I’m fine with beer” Devon replied, keeping his voice level.

“You're gonna have whiskey” Mac declared. The look in his eyes leaving no room for argument taking a bottle from under the counter he poured two shots handing one to Devon and one for himself.

Not taking his eyes off Devons whilst they both threw them back, Taking the glass back from Devon he walked back to the bar.

Everything was silent for a moment, Mac drawing something in the spilt salt on the bar that only Walter could see, Their eyes meeting before he swiped it away, Turning to Terra “Where did Devon find a nice girl like you?”

Terra seemingly un-phased by the tension in the room, Giggling she pointed first at Devon’s chest “Fraternity boy - sorority girl” She replied pointing at herself giving him a wide smile

“College huh? Seems like such a big waste of time to me, but your brave though, Coming out here with Regina after what happened”

Regina ran her hand through her hair when the man’s eyes met hers, “I have to pee” She mumbled nervously before running off to the bathroom leaving you alone, Feeling uncomfortable you moved until you were stood partially behind Terra your hand on her arm trying to pull her back a step, Ready to get out of the way if things were to go sour.

The stranger wasn’t deterred by this “I wouldn't be brave like that, I’d be scared...Heard after your parents little accident Someone gave your little sister a ride. Busted her wide open, isn't it nasty Devon?….”

Devon cut him off swinging a punch at him, “Fuck you”

He reacted quickly moving out of the way and pushing Devon’s head down onto the bar, Holding Terra’s arm firmly, You shook your head slightly trying to warn her not to get involved. Your eyes meeting Tom’s now panicked as he stepped forward and was stopped by a few of the man’s friends.

“That’s fuckin sick...Do you like it?” The bartender jumped into action seeming to know that this would only get worse. He hit a baseball bat against the bar top in a warning. Terra brushed you off; she stood between the two trying to separate them.

“Mac You don't wanna do that son” Mac backed off instantly, Raising the bat to his shoulder the bartender continued “Just a precaution. “Let's dance” Terra said to Mac taking his hand and trying to pull him towards the empty space between the bar and the tables

Mac looked her over once before his eyes met yours still as you stood awkwardly to the side, Throwing her hand away. “Nah” He sneered “Her...She's gonna dance with me” Terra gave you a warning glare over his shoulder, ‘Just do it!’ she mouthed with wide eyes.

Gulping you nodded nervously, Mac pushed harshly through the group, grabbing your waist and dragging you backwards, Once near the tables again both his hands finding your ass he pulled your core to his, Your chest hitting him with a thump.

In a move to steady yourself you put your hands up on the top of his arms as he pushed his face into your neck, His firm arms felt incredible in your grasp.

“You feel fuckin good princess” He growled in your ear before licking a line from the base of your neck to your ear. The breath hitching in your throat. “Real fucking good, Too good for him, I’ll be takin ya for maself” You tried to push the blush in your cheeks away, His core still against yours, you could feel his arousal growing. Taking a deep shaky breath a familiar feeling stirring inside you.

The feeling should have been fear, Surely that’s what your meant to feel as a redneck asshole was groping you, rubbing against you like he owned you. But all you could feel was electricity running through your body like you were meant to be his.

Forgetting for a moment that your friends and boyfriend were staring incredulously at you both, As his teeth nipped the pulse point on your neck, your nipples hardening in response and your panties dampening for him.

Looking him over, He was the stereotypical country boy, His hair and beard a little long, The red and white flannel shirt wrapped around his waist, He was a little dirty but the way his muscles strained against the fabric of his shirt, His well defined collar bones poking out at the top. He was fucking hot, There was no way you could deny this was a real man, Not a college boy like you were used to. The dark glint in his eye threatening to turn you into putty in his hands.

His hands had now found the hem of your Jean shorts gripping harshly at your exposed flesh mouth back to your ear “Can he even fuck, Or do you want a real man to show ya” Pulling his face back his eyes fixed on yours, Your mouth dropping open breath heavy, Not able to hide the effect this man was having on you.

It was over too suddenly your boyfriend Tom had now pushed forward grabbing your arm and all but throwing you towards the door.

Mac looked amused at his reaction, “This your man?” Tom answered for you. “Yeah i am, Let’s go Y/N”

Tom pushed you towards the door, still staring warily at Mac, Mac tilted his head with that gorgeous dark look in his eye and a smirk.

“Not for long....I’ll be seeing you Y/N” It almost sounded like a threat but Why were you wishing it was a promise?

Regina had rejoined you all now standing behind her brother, Mac’s eyes glanced over her before falling back on Tom who had his chest pushed out clearly torn between fight or flight. Pushing you again you all made it to the door.

Pulling Tom’s arm gently you all made it back to the van jumping in and heading home in near silence, Just an angry tension running through the car. Looking over at Regina, You could tell something was bothering her, Regina had been your best friend since she had moved to California with her brother, You had been fast friends even going to the same college, that was how you had met Tom.

Tom was a cocky all american jock, The guy that would usually make your eyes roll with his arrogance. You were sure if he had met you a year before he did he wouldn’t have looked at you like he did now. You were well…you. It was only when you got to college that you even started to think that maybe you could be beautiful.

When you left home moving to campus and into Regina’s sorority everything about you had changed, You didn’t want to be the person you were before.

She was dead, The girl who had been overlooked and bullied. Since leaving home the bruises your abusive parents had constantly given you had faded and you were able to step away from the baggy clothes letting the girls change your wardrobe. You were taking care of yourself more, Making an effort with your appearance, determined that college would be the rebirth of you.

No one who had known you before would have recognised you now.

You hadn’t done it for the attention that you now had an abundance of, You had just wanted to feel more like you, More free. Not realising how it would have the opposite effect when all the boys started to hound you. At first you had enjoyed the attention having gone so long being ignored but now you had grown to hate it it seemed like every idiot on campus had made it his mission to take you as a trophy even some of the professors had made more than one inappropriate comment.

It had taken Tom a while to convince you to go out with him, Even enlisting Regina to wear you down until you had said yes.

When you had eventually agreed the date hadn’t been bad, Yeah you guessed he talked a lot about himself and didn’t really seem to interested in learning much about you, But to be honest it was a welcome break, You hated when people asked too many questions, There was too much in your past that you just weren't proud of. Instead you preferred to be quiet and study those around you. You had studied him intensely, He was a very good looking guy who seemed to have a good enough intellect to keep up with you in the very least, You could have done a lot worse, Also it helped that having Tom around seemed to discourage the creepers which was a definite bonus!

When he had asked you to go to Utah with the group for the summer to ride dirt bikes you had gratefully accepted. Excited to be spending the whole summer away from your fucked up family.

You had done a good job at hiding the insane mess you had come from, It was only one night when you had, had a few too many you had opened up to Regina and she opened up to you in return, You knew you couldn’t let her go back with her brothers stuck up girlfriend without you, She would need someone who understood.

Regina never seemed to really recover from the horror’s of her past, The torment always in her eyes. She had never told you who had done those unspeakable things to her, You weren’t sure she even knew herself.

Sidling over to Regina in the car. “You ok sugar?” She flinched as you pulled her from her thoughts, Grumbling something about being fine. You put your hand in hers giving it a small reassuring squeeze as you all went back to your silence.

It was only when you all got home to the house that Tom finally broke the silence. Turning on you and blocking you from entering.

“What the fuck was that about Y/N!”

Sighing you knew it was coming “I was doing what Terra told me to! We needed to calm the situation down or someone was about to get hurt!”

Your eyes meeting his you could see the jealousy in them “Looked like you needed calming down Y/N you liked that hillbilly asshole putting his hands on you eh?”

Terra shoved Tom out of the way “Leave her alone. He would have destroyed you, He would have picked his teeth with your bones you delusional little prick, He would have killed the both of you two” Glaring at Devon and Samir. Putting her hand in yours she dragged you inside “C’mon Y/N we need a drink”

After a lot of arguing you had gone to the bedroom and pretended to be sleeping when you had felt the bed sag at the side of you when Tom had come to bed. Laying awake for most of the night you let your mind wander over how you had felt pressed against his body.

He felt like a man who knew what he wanted and took it and in the haze of that moment you wanted nothing more.

The mood between you and Tom hadn’t changed in the morning, The plan for the day had been to go for a hike as a group but with tensions high between you two and then Devon and Terra the group had split.

Regina, Devon, Samir & You had gone for the hike in the canyons whilst Terra and Tom had decided to go out on the Dirt bikes.

Terra had tried to reassure you with a soft squeeze to the arm before your groups separated. During your hike everyone had stayed relatively silent only making small observations, A few miles in, Samir had to take a break, Pulling a cigarette from his pocket, While Devon ribbed him for smoking, Samir reached over putting his hand on Regina’s leg. Which caused her to freeze up before standing and mumbling that she was heading back to the van to lie down.

Regina took off before you could stop her.

“Just let her go, It’s ok she just needs to be alone” Devon murmured, Devon wandered a little behind her before stopping and watching she was still on the right track from afar. With Devon out of earshot Samir stood walking over to you, Putting his arm around your waist.

You stiffened as his grip brought you closer to him.

“Thought they’d never leave...Gives us time to get to know each other”

“Uhhh Samir, My boyfriend is your best friend….I think we know each other well enough” You gave him an alarmed look before moving away as far as you could his hand still holding your waist.

“What he doesn't know won’t hurt him….He’s told us you know….That you still haven’t put out. Figured you weren’t interested in the pretty boy” He grinned with a chuckle.

Pulling yourself completely away from him “I don’t see how that’s any of your business creep?” You quipped before yelling to Devon that you were going to explore promising you would be back soon and wouldn’t stray too far.

Watching Samir take a resigned seat back in the shade you took off glad for a few moments alone, The hairs on your neck suddenly stand up, Feeling like prey awaiting the predator’s move. Were you being watched?

When you did a quick sweep with your eyes of the area and saw no one you thought it must just be the after effects of him last night, Letting your mind dwell now on the feelings that had overtaken you last night, Immediately heating up. Looking around now more carefully and still seeing that you were alone.

Letting yourself fully explore those thoughts, Seeing a slight indent in the rock, Perfect. It wasn’t a real cave that could have dangers hidden inside but it would at least hide you if one of the group came to look for you.

You may have been a virgin but you weren’t completely innocent, Completely in tune with your own body, Never pushing too far in to keep your hymen intact for the man you would eventually give it to.

Brushing your hand down your body you let it wander into your shorts feeling the dampness spreading through your fingers, Humming contentedly as you started to work on yourself softly pressing your fingers inside slightly before bringing them to your clit spreading your fluids rolling your clit in your fingers.

Your other hand had worked inside your top finding your erect nipple easily tweaking it between your fingers. Imagining you could still feel him pressed against you, Letting out a soft moan biting down on your lip remembering that dark dangerous glare, The need in his eyes. The need for you.

“Oh Mac..” You moaned softly as your imagination ran wild.

“What the fuck did you just say cunt?” Eyes springing open and hands pulling from their previous places you came face to face with him, The man who just thought of him had turned you on so much you just had to take care of it.

Letting the blush rise in your cheeks, Looking away from him. “Shit….I’m so sorry Mac. I didn’t know you were there…” You mumbled.

He rushed forward pressing his whole body against you bouncing your hips off the harsh rock behind you, From the twang of pain still radiating through them you knew it would be bruised tomorrow but feeling him there pressed up on you, You didn’t give it a second thought.

His hand harshly pushed your head upwards to look at him, “Did’ya just say my fuckin name?”

The Dark dangerous look was in his eyes again but there was something else there too that you just couldn’t place. Nodding slightly averting your eyes from him.

“Fuuucckkk…” He groaned, Just as you opened your mouth to apologise again his mouth was on yours, His tongue not waiting for permission just pushing past your lips and exploring your mouth, Momentarily frozen in shock as you felt his teeth smashing into yours, His hand snaking down the front of your shorts groaning into your mouth as he felt your wetness.

Before you knew what you were doing you were pushing your hands into his hair moaning along with him, Your tongue dancing with his greedily. His fingers teasing your clit rubbing in harsh circles.

His lips stopped moving long enough to make a demand of you “Say it again” he growled.

His nails scratching down your length dipping into your heat.

“Oh Mnmm Mac!” You moaned arching your hips towards him, Your lips searching for his, His fingers hitting that sensitive spot inside you making you mewl for him.

“You’re playin with the devil bitch” he breathed out, Moaning at his words feeling the burn inside you grow stronger maybe that was exactly what you needed to do, Your hand reached out brushing the tent now in his overalls.

A deep angry growl rips from him as he pulls away from you, Turning and heading into a small cave to the side. “Wait-” You tried to call after him.

“Y/N? You over here?” Shit! He must have heard them, that's why he fled. Rearranging your clothes quickly and patting your hair down, It was now or never.

Coming from behind the rock face you see Devon looking for you worried.

“Hey I'm here, Sorry I had to get some shade!” You said far too huskily the arousal still in your voice.

“Yeah, Looks it? Let’s get you back, You're looking a little flustered Reggie will kill me if anything happened to ya” Following behind him back to the van you noticed how he pointedly didn’t say Tom, He probably knew there was nothing really there between the two of you.

Back at the van you felt the eyes on you again, Smirking you pulled the water from your bag you poured it over your face and chest. Reggie raised a questioning eyebrow at you once you’d finished.

Shrugging “What it’s too hot!” You snapped at her. Climbing quickly into the van before the boys noticed how your top had gone see through with the water.

As the van starts to pull away you spare a glance in the direction you felt the glare coming from, He was standing in the open now that dark look in his eyes as he watched you leave, Bringing the fingers that had been touching you so incredibly to his mouth licking them clean. His eyes fixed on yours as the van got further away.

Your mind still stuck on Mac as Reggie shook you, “Were here lets get something to eat” Nodding at her you followed into the bar ordering quickly and barely paying attention to the conversation.

“Hey are you ok?” Nodding again “Think I got a bit of sun stroke” You mumbled. Accepting this as an answer Devon paid for your dinner before heading back to the house.

The sight that met you was hilarious, That prick tom and Terra stuck on the roof of the barn with the poor dog Tom had been tormenting on their heels keeping them up there.

“Stop fucking laughing Y/N DO SOMETHING” Tom yelled at you, sighing you leant over your bag grabbing the sandwich you forgot to eat, Putting two fingers into your mouth you let out a loud whistle.

Grabbing the dogs attention instantly “C’mere baby” As he approached you warily a snarl on his mouth. Samir was behind you holding the gun. Glaring at him “You are not shooting that dog!” You growled making him put it down and his hands up in defence.

“Less of that! Sit!" You commanded clicking your fingers and pointing down. Keeping your eyes on the dog “Reggie get me the rope!” Giving the dog the sandwich and turning to Reggie taking the rope from her. The dog snarled slightly again as you slipped it around its neck.

“How the fuck did you do that?” Tom asked, As he started climbing down from the shed. Shrugging your shoulders. “Dog’s like me I guess?” As the dog finished it noticed Tom lunging back towards him. “It’s you he doesn't like” You giggled.

“C’mon sweetheart let’s take you home” You cooed at him tugging the rope enough to get his attention. Walking away ignoring the protests. Mac’s home was only a 10 minute walk away, Once away from the others you noticed the dogs attitude change significantly. Tongue lolling from its mouth playfully playing with a stick he had found on the walk.

As you approached your heart started beating harder seeing him there, Fuck he looked hot the way his overalls hung from his hips, The way his muscles moved as he kicked the dogs pen angrily.

Clearing your throat “Loose something?” Startled Mac span around “Fuck you doin here bitch!” Pointing at the dog happily sat at your feet. Giving him a scratch behind his ear. “This little cutie decided to get loose and trap my boyfriend and friend on top of a barn” You giggled.

Mac rushing to you both he ripped the rope from around the dog's neck “House, Now” he commanded pointing at the shack. Getting in your face he growled “Get the fuck outta here before you regret it bitch”

What the fuck? You thought he would at least be happy to see you. Feeling the anger surge.

“If it weren't for me” Smacking his chest “They would have shot that dog! Could at least say thank you!” Half yelling at him.

“Thank you?” He mused “I’ll show ya fuckin thank you” Lunging forward he grabbed you tight to him, Wrapping a hand in your hair pulling you towards the shack behind him.

His lips met your angrily as you crossed the threshold of the house. Your nose wrinkled as you were met with a smell that you couldn’t quite place, A mixture of rotting food, dust and sweat.

Spinning you he thrust you towards a room “Get in there cunt”

The bedroom wasn’t too bad, It was a mess sure but the smell in here was nothing like the rest of the house, There was a huge hole in the ceiling but the sheets looked clean enough. Sensing your hesitation, Mac grabbed you again, throwing you face first on the bed.

Before you had time to turn over he was on you, hands pulling your loose shorts off, Panties coming down with them, His fingers digging into your side as he went. Flipping you onto your back he moved to your shirt ripping it over your head.

“Mac what are yo-” He cut you off with a harsh backhand to the face. “Shut the fuck up, You think you can just walk around being a fucking tease and not get whats coming to ya?”

“I wasn’t” Backhanded again “Don’t fucking LIE! The water? Playin with ya damn self! You knew i was watching”

Your head was ringing from the hits, As terrified as you should be at this moment you still couldn’t find the fear, The only feeling was the burning in your loins that you hadn’t been able to quell since you had first laid eyes on him.

In the blink of an eye his overalls and boxers had both dropped to the floor leaving him in only his ratty what used to be white tank top. Gripping your knees he forced them apart pushing them down onto the bed. In one swift move he was in you, A scream breaking from your lips as he tore through your hymen as if it wasn’t even there.

As he turned your face to his you let out a whimper, your body fighting against the pain trying to adjust to his huge size.

“You were a virgin?” He asked with a shocked expression stopping his movements, Nodding weakly “Please” You begged. His hand flew to your throat.

Chuckling “Please what? Stop? i aint had a virgin in a long ass time like fuck i'm stopping!”

“Please….More” A small moan breaking through, Between the pain you were feeling from his claiming of you and the pressure around your throat, It was enough to send you spiralling around him.

He laughed fully now “Ain’t ever had a bitch ask for more before…..” His gravelly voice was sending tingles down your spine, His lips met your throat licking a small line down from your pulse to the underside of your breast, Biting down hard, Screaming again you felt as his teeth punctured hard enough to draw blood.

Finally he moved, Drawing almost fully out of you before thrusting until he bottomed out in you again. The scream turned into a strangled moan as he licked the blood from you, Biting down again on your ribs, Drawing blood there too.

When his head reared back your blood dripped down his chin, His eyes glowing with malevolence, his tongue darting out to lick the blood from his lower lip. Fuck it was hot, So fucking hot.

You were panting now at the sight in front of you. Reaching forward you grabbed his tank pulling his lips to yours. The metallic taste on his lips only spurring you on as your tongues fought each other for dominance.

Leaning back he pushed his thighs under yours lifting your hips higher impossibly pushing even deeper into you, He let go then, Thrashing in and out of you his fingers holding on so tightly to your hip bones that they would definitely at the very least be bruised if not ripped open.

“Ahh fuck Mac!” You screamed feeling the burning growing to a new height.

“Cum for me bitch” He growled his pace moving quicker, His incredible length brushing hard against that little rough patch in you. One of his hands now came down on your clit pinching it roughly before rubbing harsh circles around it.

Everything went dark as your orgasm ripped through you, Your body arching upwards as you exploded screaming his name.

He followed straight after a string of profanities falling from his mouth as he collapsed on top of you.

Your entire body was shaking, Sure you’d had orgasms in the past playing with yourself but nothing like this, Everyone said that the first time would be painful and it would suck.

Painful yes, But no one had told you how good the pain would feel.

As the dark spots in your eyesight started to clear he pushed himself from you, His hand cupping your bruised pussy. Slipping a lone finger inside he scooped some of your mixed juices onto it before thrusting it into your mouth.

Moaning around his fingers as your combined bitter tastes enveloped your senses. You felt yourself getting wet again at this. “Fuck little bitch, Yer making me love you” His voice strained eyes wide as you licked his finger clean.

Grabbing a rag to the side of him he threw it over your face. “Clean ya damn self up and get the fuck out, I got places to be”

Shocked you did as he told you but as you moved to pull your panties back on he snatched them from you, “Not these, These are mine” The gleam in his eyes was back as he brought them to his nose breathing in the scent before pushing them into the pocket of the overalls he had just pulled back on. You’d noticed when he had put them on he hadn’t bothered to clean your blood or his cum from himself.

Nodding at him you pulled your shirt and shorts back on the sense of pride you felt knowing he had a part of you with him now, Feeling like part of you was marking him as he had you with the bites.

Shit the bites! You grabbed the rag again lifting your shirt and bra and wiped the blood that was now drying from them making sure it wouldn’t seep through your shirt.

His back was to you now as you were ready to leave, Sighing you tried to touch him, The second your hand touched his shoulder he span pinning you against the nearest wall his hand pulling your hair back so you were looking into his eyes.

“You’re fucking lucky i'm letting ya live, Might just change my mind…….Now get the fuck out of here” He yelled dragging you to the door and thrusting you out of it.

After you had returned home gratefully no one had paid much attention to you once they had noticed Regina was missing, If you thought what had just happened was crazy the night was only getting worse.

Regina had to be rescued from the cave, Mac had been arrested and now Regina had come back screaming in the middle of the night insisting she had seen her old flame Harley dead outside

Rushing out after her Devon grabbed the gun from by the door. Regina led you back to the car “he's inside!” “You sure Regina?” Devon questioned looking at his sister like she was nuts “look! I saw him look!” She pushed him towards the car “at what?”

Tom looked over Devon’s shoulder, chuckling “How many of those pills did you take reg? What’s next, pink flying elephants?” Laughing harder now, “C’mon Y/N we're going to bed” Tom reaches his arm around you trying to pull you away with him making you flinch as his fingers graze the bite on your ribs.

He had turned you both around when Terra spoke up “Guys there's something in the back” As you all moved towards the back Samir opened the boot, The sheriff's body, tumbling out. There was a chorus of “oh shit! “Fucks” as you all took in the shock of finding the dead man.

“What, Dead?” Tom asked jumping backwards, hiding partially behind you, You snorted fucking pussy.

“Yeah that's one dead pink flying elephant” Samir confirmed for him.

“Shouldn't we do something for him?” Terra asked, the fear clear in her eyes.

“What do you wanna do for him? Take him inside and give him a beer? Huh? He's dead!” Tom yelled at her.

Ignoring his outburst she replied “I don't know, cover him up?” Devon lent forward grabbing the sheriff's coat from behind him and covering his face with it.

Regina brought the attention back to her now as she stood away from the group “I saw Harley in there he was in there before!”

Devon sighed “Regina don't!”

“He’s out here! whoever killed him is still out here!” She argued

Taking in her panicked expression Devon “Are you sure you saw Harley? Are you sure you didn't just see the sheriff?”

“It could have been roger rabbit it could have been anybody” Tom cut in. You gave him a swift smack around the back of his head as Devon turned around yelling “Would you shut up!”

As he turned the gun went off, Tom collapsed to the side of you screaming, Jumping into action you followed him down seeing the source of the bleeding, Good it’s only his calf it should be okay. Putting your hands on the wound trying to stem the bleeding.

The guys grabbed him, helping bring him inside while you kept the pressure on.

Once he was back in the cabin on the couch You moved back letting Samir take over. “You fucking shot me you asshole!” Tom seethed at Devon Before hissing at Samir “Careful fuck!”

“You really got me good didn't you, You trigger happy bastard” He spat turning his attention back to Devon. He tried to excuse himself “It's not my fault it went off!” “You shot my fucking leg off” Rolling your eyes at that, Yes he had just been shot but fuck was he dramatic!

Samir asked Terra to call for an ambulance, The fear in her face said it all. No phone.

Trying to keep Regina calm was an impossible feat never mind adding Tom to the mix.

As Terra tries to suggest making a plan the lights go out Sending Regina into a worse panicked state “We're all gonna die in here. I should have never come back here”

“Were all gonna die here? We’re all here because of you” Tom spat at her and grabbed your hand pulling you to him. Terra gave you a sad look “Were all in this together”

“OH fuck together!!, She’s the one who had to go to that cave! Let me fucking tell you something! Sometimes when you look in dark places Reggie, There are real fucking monsters there you understand!” You gave him a filthy look at this pulling your hand from him

“Being a fucking asshole is not gonna help, She's your fucking Cousin! The least you could do is watch your tongue!”

After a few minutes you had all come up with a plan, Devon and Regina we’re going to Mac’s house to try for a phone and Samir was taking one of the Bikes to try and get help. Leaving you, Terra and Tom in the house.

You watched as Terra got close to Tom on the couch. Snorting you grabbed the bottle of Whiskey from the side walking towards your room.

“Y/N where the fuck are you going?” Tom snarled after you.

Stopping in the doorway to your room “If we're all gonna die, Might as well be drunk!”

“We should stay together”

Laughing at him now “I thought you said ‘Fuck together’ Tom? Thought you two would want the time alone anyway. You’ve been fucking her since we’ve been together”

They both stammered trying to cut you off “Don’t even try to deny it, Honestly i don’t give a shit” You took a long pull of the whiskey and slammed the door behind you. Settling into the bed, If this was Mac he wouldn’t kill you would he?

You had been there drinking in silence for around half an hour, Hearing a noise at the open window you moved closer and let out a shriek when Devon grabbed your arm.

“Why is the fucking door locked?” He asked as he pulled himself through the window “Where is Reggie?” You countered.

“She’s at Mac’s, Blacked out, i need your help to bring her back” Making your way back into the living room you watched as Terra broke away from Tom’s side. “We need to talk Y/N” He grumbled looking between you and Devon.

“No we really don’t” Before you could say anymore you were interrupted by a scream outside. Rushing out Reggie collapsed into your arms. Pulling her in behind you, Devon pulling her away arguing in hushed voices.

As the hour ticked on, Devon and Regina whispered to each other Terra and Tom eyeing you worriedly and you drinking, Waiting for Samir or someone to come and help.

When the sound of a truck got closer. You knew exactly who it was. It was like your blood started singing, Your heart pounding in your ears, the bite on your side itching for him.

The lights from the truck flooded the cabin, Looking out you saw him even with the Mask covering his face you knew exactly who it was.

You watched as he pulled something from the bed of his truck. Shit! Scarpering backwards away from the window pushing Reggie with you who had come up behind you to see what was going on. “MOVE” You yelled at her, As the projectile smashed through the window.

Your body was still covering hers as you both turned to look at the pole which had landed only inches from where you had just been, Was he aiming for you? I guess that answers the earlier question, He would definitely kill you. Why in the hell does that still make you so fucking hot for him.

Tom yells out “what the fuck is that? A pole he threw a fucking pole at us?”

Devon leans forward noticing the cloth wrapped around something on the end. Opening it he jumps back realising it’s Samir’s head.

The bile rushing up your throat as you notice a note attached. Devon leant forward, grabbing it before moving away again. “ ‘Shouldn’t have touched what wasn't his’ What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck did he do?” Regina interrupted him. “The tunnel, Grandpa’s tunnel”

Terra’s head flashed upwards “What tunnel? Can we escape?”

Devon got up moving Regina out of the way and hooked his fingers into a grate on the floor pulling it up“It’s a tunnel my grandfather built when they raided the place during prohibition.”

Tom cut him off “It's no time for a history lesson ok! My best friend's head is sitting on the carpet” Terra helped Tom from the couch as Devon dropped into the hole in the floor. Checking it out before giving the all clear.

Tom reached his arm out to you as he approached giving you a soft look. Giving him a small smile, You weren’t really angry, You’d probably even forgive him if you all survived this, Hell you had done the same thing with Mac. If there was one thing you weren’t it was a hypocrite.

Mac. Even just thinking his name made your heart stop. You grimaced, were you crazy? He was outside trying to kill you and your friends but yet you still wanted him.

Helping tom into the hole in the floor Terra went next then Reggie then you. As you had gotten a few feet down the tunnel Reggie gasped “My necklace!” She tried to fight past you “It was my mothers! I need to get it!”

“Ok, Ok! I’ll get it! Just stay quiet!”

Crawling back to the opening you pushed upwards almost getting it when you felt a hand in the back of your hair pulling you out. “Where the fuck did you think you were going bitch?”

Mac pulled you backwards into him as you struggled to get free. You could hear Reggie crying from the Tunnel, Terra trying to calm her down when another voice mixed in with theirs.

“Oh seriously Reggie? who gives a fuck it’s only Y/N Fucking leave her ass. C’MON” Tom yelled. This stopped your fighting what the fuck? Their noises died away, They really had just left you. All the fight left fuck it if he was going to kill you he might as well get on with it.

“Go on, Kill me then!” You spat. As you spoke he let you go, Turning to him you could see the murderous gleam in his eyes.

“You think i’m going to kill you? I’ve only just started with you Y/N” He grinned “Him though….Oh I’m going to enjoy killing him” Grabbing the pole with Samir’s head still impaled on it using his foot to pull the pole free he walked down the hallway listening intently.

“Little rats think they can scurry away” He laughed before thrusting the pole through the floor, Laughing harder when he heard the screams below. Pulling it out and heading further down the hall he stabbed again twice. He noticed you watching him curiously. “What was the note about Mac?” Your voice sounded braver than you felt.

You noticed Samir’s blood still on his hands, arms and splattered across his chest, The sadist smile still on his face as he moved closer to you. Putting his hands around your back and pulling you into him. His lips at your ear.

“I saw him, Yesterday putting his hands on you, On whats fuckin mine” He lowered his lips to your neck biting down hard. An aroused groan rising through your chest. What the hell was this man doing to you. It felt like you were losing all your faculties, All that was left was him. He was all you cared about.

“C’mon time for that later” Pulled you out of the cabin he pushed you into the passenger side of his truck before getting in himself. Driving a short distance he stopped pulling you out with him. You both stayed silent still in a stupor of sorts you followed him blindly not caring what was happening as long as he was there with you.

It didn’t take long for you to stumble across a light in the distance, With the way the light was moving it had to be a fire. Putting his finger to his lips he stalked towards the fire leaving you there. No! He couldn’t just leave you here! Following after him as silently as you could you watched as he crept over the top of the rock shielding the people from view.

His hand going to his belt, You could see the fire glinting in the metal of the huge knife. Creeping closer again you heard the scream as his hand plunged over the rock into someone.

Moving around the edge you saw who. He was wildly plunging the knife in and out of Tom. Blood poured from him as Reggie screamed and ran. The scream seemed to pull you from your trance. Eyes flicking between the direction Reggie had disappeared to and Mac who was now wrists deep inside Tom’s stomach ripping at the guts inside him.

The glee on his face was evident. Looking at you “Look apparently the gutless bastard, Had them after all! My mistake” The evil chuckle was enough to make the choice for you. You'd felt the unnatural stir inside you of approval at his actions. But you couldn't give into that evil, Not now, Not when your friend needed you.

Running after Regina you desperately tried to catch up to her, You had to find her. Stumbling along you ran for what felt like hours. She was gone. The sun had come up now and you were all alone.

You couldn’t stop walking, This was a mistake. She had left you twice now. The only one who hadn’t left you was Mac, Mac you needed to find Mac! You continued on with more determination now. It wasn’t long until you heard them.

“well what do we have here? The lost pussy! did golden boy leave you all alone”

You could see them now, Mac grabbed her face pulling her to him, kissing her before throwing her to the ground. Jealousy raged within you. It should have been you he was kissing!

“I told that little bitch not to come here but you never listen”

“Don’t fucking touch me” Terra yell grabbing a log at the side of her and hitting him around the head with it. Fucking Bitch!

He stumbled for a moment before he was back on her, Throwing her back to the ground kicking her repeatedly in the stomach, Gripping her arm and pulling her back upwards pulling her tight to his chest, Just like he did to you.

Terra tried to hit him again.

“You’re making me love you just like your little friend, that day she was the only one that got it” He threw her back to the floor kicking her knees apart “That kid fucked us all”

She tried to fight him

“I’m sick of this shit! You’ll beg to die” He growled. Diving forward, Ripping her shirt from her body, She fell to the ground as Mac shrugged out of his overalls letting them hit the ground. Terra looked wild as she got back up “Your not gonna do that to me” She screamed running towards him.

You don’t know what came over you but you just couldn’t let her. Running at Terra you hit her before she got to Mac, The force of your body hitting hers sent her tumbling off the edge of the Canyon. Almost falling off with her when you felt the arms clasp around your stomach pulling you to Safety. Peaking over the edge you saw Devon holding a screaming Regina with a dead Terra at their feet.

Mac pulled on you and when you didn’t move he tried again harder pulling you almost off your feet. Looking up at him in fear. “For fuck sake” He sighed. Picking up a rock at his feet. He bashed you around the head with it. Everything went black instantly.

When you woke you could hear him pacing nearby, Whispering angrily into a small phone.

“I’ll fuckin take care of it!....Don’t I always!......Fuck sake! You clean up your other fucking sons mess next time, I ain’t cleaning up after Devon no more!” He hung the phone up, throwing it onto a well lit table next to him.

It was then he noticed you were awake. You could see the anger rolling through him in waves. Pulling at your arms you realised they were restrained above your head. Raising your eyes you saw the hook and rope binding you there. Tugging at it as hard as you could. You heard him laugh.

“Ya aint getting outta that. What you wanted to run from me again...Stupid cunt”

“Where am i?” you asked, steadying your voice as much as you could.

“In my cave...Go on scream little bitch no one will hear you!” He pounced on you sitting on your chest with that gleeful look in his eyes again. Pulling the knife from his belt still covered in Tom’s blood.

Everything was coming back to you now, Samir, Tom & Regina all dead. But what about Devon & Regina? Didn’t he just say Devon’s name?

“Where are Devon and Regina? Are they here?” He scoffed, An indignant smile on his face.

“Baby brother? He’s probably balls deep in his little plaything by now. That was the plan. I got to take all you guys out and he got to claim her. Thought you would of been a good cunt to keep around too but you just had to run” Putting the knife to your throat.

“I’m going to fuck you bloody bitch, Make you beg for me to kill you” Running the knife down from your neck to your cleavage pressing just hard enough to cut but not too deep, The bulge in his overalls becoming more pronounced as he watched the blood following the knife.

Letting out a pained gasp you met his eyes. Keeping your stare hard trying not to show the fear that had started bubbling within you. Leaving the knife propped between your breasts his hand snaked inside his overalls pulling out his impressive length. The blood from earlier dried on there now.

“Suck it clean Y/N” He pushed it to your lips, When they didn’t open he grabbed your chin hard. You felt it click with the pressure. “Open it now, Or this” He picked up the knife “will be going in there instead."

Dropping your mouth open you let him slide inside. Balling his hands in your hair you felt the knife slide across your scalp. He thrust until his full length was in your mouth choking slightly as he slipped into your throat.

You thought it would taste worse than it did considering it had been at least a day since he had taken your virginity, Yours and his juices dried and covering him.

Having never given a blow job before you were all teeth. As he pulled backwards he hissed at your teeth dragging on him. “Fucking bite me and ill bite you back bitch!”

Trying to hide your teeth behind your lips you wrapped them tighter around him sucking and running your tongue down the underside as he pulled out fully. Once only the tip remained in your mouth you sucked harder, Swirling your tongue around it, When the first drop of pre-cum landed on your tongue you moaned wildly. Struggling to push your face forward. Wanting to feel him back in your throat again.

“Fuck. Are you enjoying this? Sick bitch” Slamming back into your throat again, The moan was more intense now you could feel the muscles in your throat vibrating around him. Taking the knife and cutting your bonds.

Your arms dropped to the sides exhausted. Pulling you to your knees by your hair he stood in front of you letting the overalls drop off him completely. Not wasting any time You moved forward bracing your hands on his thighs.

Taking him fully back into his mouth now, Feeling the courage rise back in your chest you looked up into his eyes. Wrapping one hand around the base of him and started bobbing as fast as you could.

“Fffuccckkkk!” He groaned. Hands back in your hair guiding you down onto him.

It didn’t take long for his cock to start twitching. Forcing you off him he threw you back down onto the filthy stained mattress. Knife back in hand he started at the top, Pushing the knife between your breasts again facing outwards this time, He cut your shirt and bra from you before moving to your shorts shredding them too.

He laughed, Moving to the pocket in his overalls “Still missing these?” He waved your underwear in front of you, He brought them to his nose for a moment before hanging them over his cock tugging at himself with them.

Not able to stop the groan coming when you saw him bring them back to his nose. Your core tightening at the sight of him almost naked fucking your panties.

“Mac...Please…” You begged just like the first time. “Please what Y/N?” He grinned knowingly at you.

“Fuck me please Mac...I need you…” You moaned breathily.

“You want this huh?” He dropped your panties to the floor and removed his shirt.

Your eyes wide, Mouth hanging open when you got your first sight of him fully naked. “Holy fuck!”

“Nothing Holy happening in here Y/N this the devils work” He winked. Grabbing both of your feet he flipped you onto your stomach. Using your hips now he pulled your ass into the air and thrusting into you in the same movement.

A scream ripping from your throat as he stretched you wide again. He didn’t take a moment to let you get used to it like he did last time. Just pounded away.

“Look at you! You’re dripping for me you fucked up girl, And So fucking tight still. You won’t be by the time i'm fucking through with you” He growled Your walls clenched at his words. Making him hiss at the extra pressure around his cock. Smacking your ass as hard as he could. You screamed again at the initial pain, Once his hand had left you the heat from the hit turned into instant pleasure making you gush more for him. With how wet you had now become it was easier for him to jackhammer into you at incredible speeds.

“You like that do ya, Filthy whore” He smacked you again on the other side. The pain this time makes you moan. “More” You begged.

“Fuck….Always wanting more, I’ll give you more bitch” He pulled you up by your hair so your back was flush against his chest. Pulling your head to the side he bit down hard on your pulse point. You felt the blood again rolling down your chest.

Gasping you saw stars as the pressure in your heat started to unravel for him.

Moaning loudly for him, When he released you, You fell face first back into the mattress as he gripped your hips bucking harder.

“Fuck...Mac...Mmmm” Your walls started clamp again as you felt the dam inside you burst.

“That’s it Y/N Cum for this cock bitch” He wrapped one hand around your throat tight.

Screaming into the mattress. “Mac...OH FUCK MAC!” He followed straight after, Pulsing into you, your walls gripping tighter to him dragging every drop of his hot cream deep into you.

Your legs giving in now, He collapsed on top of you pushing you into the mattress. Groaning in your ear.

“Maybe i won’t kill you. You keep this up and I’ll be keeping you around Y/N” He got off you slowly.

Redressing and throwing a spare overall at you.

“Get dressed we got shit to do”

When you had pulled the zipper up he led you out and back to his van. You looked between him and the open desert.

Gripping your arm. “You run, Not just now but ever fucking run from me again. I’ll gut you just like that spineless piece of shit. Ya understand?”

Nodding “Mac...Where else would i ever want to be, Your just like me... Fucked up...I need you” Leaning over you gave him a deep kiss. Thrusting you back against the hood of the car he took you again.

You knew now what kind of evil he was now, Although you had to give it to him that he treated you a lot better than Devon treated Regina. He trusted you enough to walk around without him instead of keeping you tied to the bed, Eventually even trusting you enough to help him with work.

His thirst for blood never ceased, He always needed to kill but stopped raping when he had you at home to come back to. Even with everything he had done everything you knew he was capable of doing you fell hard for him. All of it was worth it to be Mac’s Girl

Master List

Tag list

@jazzy1118

@one-shot-plus-size

@marvelfansworld

@phoenixblack89

@fuseburner

@angelofthorr

@pncnsc

@jodiereedus22

@delightfullykrispypeach

@honeyswritting

@daryldixonstorm

@browneyes528

@dixonsbike666

#red canyon #redcanyon #red canyon smut #mac red canyon #norman reedus #norman reedus smut #norman reedus characters #smut fanfiction #fanfiction #brutal fanfiction #dark fanfiction #dark fantasy #norman reedus is a god

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spiderling-space · 3 years

Note

That ask with the trained asset mc was amazing ! Can you do the same thing but this time with the staffs ? They need more love tbh.

Glad that you enjoyed the idea stemmed from my comics love

Anon is talking about this

Setting: Reaction to fatale/trained asset/spy MC genuinely apologizing them for lying after MC, Reader, had a mental breakdown

🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦

Dire Crowley

Dire is in a panic. He had never had to deal with this type of situation before, he would let other staff handle these types of situations. The more (Y/N) cries, the more he gets more emotional and screams.

Dire finds a solution in knocking (Y/N) out with magic. Once they are out, Dire thinks what he can do. Then he wonders why the Magic Mirror picked (Y/N) and what they truly did in NRC.

🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Divus Crewel

Despite what people think, Divus cares about his students and wants them to be their best.

Divus is the second-best person to handle (Y/N)’s breakdown. He calms them down with his words. While he is good at lots of things, psychology isn’t one of them. He is going to personally take (Y/N) to a good psychologist. The lies they have told don’t really matter to him.

💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪

Ashton Vargas

Ashton is used to seeing students cry during his class but they do it because he makes them work out. Never had he encountered a student having a mental breakdown.

Ashton will say it’s okay that (Y/N) had lied while trying to find out how to handle a student who is having a mental breakdown on his phone. His mind is so focused on the (Y/N)’s breakdown so much that he doesn’t process why they are apologizing.

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

Mozus Trein

Mozus raised 3 children. He knows how to deal with an emotional outburst of a young person.

Mozus doesn’t lose composure and listens to everything (Y/N) says while consoling them. After they have calmed down, he will call the best psychologist he knows and leads (Y/N) there. He might be a stern person but he is still a father and cannot turn a blind eye to (Y/N)’s situation.

👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻

Sam

Sam’s friends from the other side told him that (Y/N) wasn’t what they seemed to be, yet, he had never seen any sign of it. He thought his friends were wrong because they were from another world.

Sam isn’t an expert at consoling people but he has his fair share of dealing with customers. He tries his best to calm (Y/N) down. For him, the lies aren’t the important issue, he tells half-truths all the time. What’s important is the breakdown. He will get Dire to do something about (Y/N)’s situation thanks to his friends from the other side.

#twst #twisted wonderland #dire crowley #divus crewel #ashton vargas #mozus trein #twst sam #twisted wonderland sam #nrc staff #nrc #night raven college #night raven college staff #staff #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #headcanons #gender neutral reader #trained asset/spy AU

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talkfastromance4 · 3 years

Text

when i’m dreaming--calum hood oneshot

yeah so i’m going through something so this is very, very self-indulgent.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: drinking linked a little with coping, going through a depressive low, best friend!calum

feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

***

Calum notices something is wrong the minute she steps outside. He was about to take a drink of his white claw, but his eyes went to her nails when she pulled Crystal in for a hug. She typically paints them to match her mood and today they’re opalescent pink, barely noticeable but still there. In plain sight but still visible while she secretly wants to be invisible.

She smiles and cracks jokes with everyone she says hello to then when she steps in front of Calum, he sees the sadness in her eyes. They’ve been best friends for awhile now, they’ve shared secrets, stories of first loves and heartaches, their fears, their wildest dreams. But there was always something she kept hidden, tucked away in a box welded shut.

“Hey bud,” she sighs.

“Hey short stuff,” he grins playfully pulling her in for a hug. Her arms wrap around him and he makes sure to give her an extra tight squeeze.

“I’m not that short,” she grumbles in his chest.

“You’re shorter than me,” he reminds rubbing her shoulder with his thumb. Although her arms are loose around him he can feel the tension in her shoulders that she’s carrying.

“Stop hogging her! I haven’t seen her in weeks!” Ashton exclaims and Calum pulls away.

He knows it was too soon to break the hug but to keep up with her own façade he doubts anyone else sees, he does it.

“Hey, you’re the one who disappeared into the desert for all those weeks,” she jokes rising on her toes to loop her arms around Ashton’s neck.

He gives her a big bear hug that lifts her a few inches off the ground, Calum sees her nails digging into her arm as she squeezes him.

“Had to recenter myself, you should try it sometime,” Ashton teases right back. As if she was shocked, she removes herself from the hug then accepts a bottle of Mike’s from Luke.

“I can take something stronger than this, Hemmings,” she takes a large chug regardless.

“Yeah? Like tequila? I got some limes,” he jerks his thumb behind him towards the drink table.

“I said stronger not deadly. You know I can’t handle tequila,” she scrunches her nose.

Everyone else laughs but alarms are going off in Calum’s head.

“Yeah, the floor of my Tesla doesn’t like tequila either,” Michael chimes in with a tray of shots.

“I told you to pull over,” she shrugs lifting up a shot. She takes a whiff and nods in approval at his selected alcohol choice.

“I was going 75 on the freeway!”

“And that’s why I threw up. Ready?” she lifts her glass.

Calum meets her eyes as over the hands of their friends as Ashton gives an impromptu speech about friendship and long rides. He wasn’t really paying attention because when their eyes locked, he saw the panic, he saw the fear of whatever was going on in her head.

The next time he sees her is at the movies. Her eyes are darker along with her nails that are now a hunter’s green; camouflaged but still visible. While they’re waiting in line for snacks, he lifts her hand in his and runs his thumb over the color.

“This is a pretty color, I’ve never seen it on you before,” he says.

“Yeah, um…wanted to try something different,” she shrugs. “Do you want the blue icee?”

“Is that even a question?” he raises a brow, and she laughs.

Once they’re settled in the seats the previews start. Calum opens up the bags of sweet and sour treats while she opens the boxes of milk duds. The large bowl of popcorn (with extra butter) is settled between them, long red straws sticking out of their frozen drinks.

Throughout the whole movie, it’s an action romantic comedy, Calum keeps glancing at her. He watches her fingers disappear in the popcorn bowl, her hunter’s green nails appearing black in the dark theater. Calum’s seen enough movies to know this moment is foreshadowing the darkness she’s slipping into. He’s preparing himself for the fall but he’s not entirely sure she is.

Two weeks have gone by and he hasn’t seen her since the movie. Their schedules didn’t align so he decided to surprise her with takeout from her favorite Asian restaurant and chocolate cake from her favorite bakery.

When he opens the door, he hears Friends playing on her tv and he finds her horizontal on the couch. The hood of her sweatshirt is over her head, her arms wrapped around her torso, her black nails clutching the fabric.

Calum braces himself for what he’s walking into, sets the food on her counter and crouches in front of her. He pulls her hoodie back a little so he can see her face a bit better, her eyes are distant and staring off behind him.

“Hey,” he says softly then touches her hand. It’s very cold. “Y/N.”

Upon hearing her name does she finally look at him. Her eyes have filled and spilled with her tears in a matter of seconds. He links her fingers through his.

“Hi,” she mouths, her voice barely registering.

“Is this about…him?” he asks delicately.

About a year ago he chipped away at the welding on the box. He knows it involves a guy. He knows it’s about bad timing. He knows it’s about deep emotions.

She nods and the tears erupt more. She buries her face in her hands then adds another layer by hiding in the pillow.

“Nope, nope, hey,” he tugs on her arms. She’s pliant and allows him to drag her in a sitting position. He takes the place where her head was then brings her onto his lap. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” He murmurs and pulls her hoodie down so he can rub at her hair.

She sobs loudly into his neck. Calum holds her as tight as he can, murmuring comforting words in her ear. Her sobs would subside, but he wouldn’t let go until she did. She’s very good at keeping her emotions at bay and even better at keeping people further away from her harbor. She doesn’t ask for help often, she doesn’t open up too much and when she does it’s always the footnoted version.

Three episodes of Friends later, her hold lessens, she gives a big sniff and peels herself away from Calum. He uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe at her tears and nose.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, and she shakes her head. “I brought food. I’ll heat it up for you.”

She nods and falls back onto the couch. He rubs her knee then heads into the kitchen. When the food is prepared on plates he brings it to her and she takes it, scarfing down the first few bites heartily.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she finally speaks when her plate is empty.

“I know,” he nods looking over at her until she meets his brown eyes. “It’s okay.”

Calum ends up staying the night, his mind reeling from what the history is with this mystery guy. His thoughts get away from him as he stares at the ceiling above the couch. Was he some celebrity that kept her under the radar and broke her heart repeatedly? A Prince from some far-off country that got her hopes up and crushed them again and again?

He’s tossing and turning until he hears the shower turn on. Sad songs play over and over on her speakers, her voice singing along with the yearning words. Ghostin’ by Ariana and When the Party’s Over by Billie replay one after another.

She’s really hurting.

Calum bounds off the couch and opens the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” he makes sure his voice is a little louder than the music.

A sniff. “Yeah?” her voice is thick.

“Just want you to know I’m here,” he shuts the door and sits next to the shower.

His heart aches when he hears her crying again, the vocals echo and bounce off the tiles. Her sadness fills the room just as it’s filled in the hidden box of the guy who’s making her feel this way.

Four more repeats go by and the shower is finally shut off. Calum scrambles off the floor, sees her tug the towel from the door of the shower. Her shadow figure wraps it around herself and she opens the door. Her skin is red from the hot water, as are her eyes and cheeks from crying more tears. He grabs another towel and helps dry her hair while she stands there avoiding her reflection in the mirror.

“It’s been five years, why do I still feel like this?” she asks quietly.

“It hurts the most when it meant something.”

He left the bathroom after he dried and brushed her hair then waited for her in her bedroom. There’s pictures on her desk from high school. Her and some guy at prom. Her and the same guy a little bit older posing in a selfie on a couch, drunken smiles on their faces. Her and the same guy a little older again posed outside.

This must be from that box. She’s cracked it open and Calum is staring at some of the pieces that have broken her wholly.

“His name’s Henry,” she explains suddenly behind him.

Calum turns to her voice. The drastic change from the happy girl in the photos to the sad girl before him startles him. He remains silent to let her speak or to go into silence again. She moves onto her bed, sitting in the center and tucks her legs against her chest.

“We never dated. But we were always…together. Together in the physical sense for four years,” she continues. Calum joins her cautiously on the bed and listens. “Back and forth always. After every relationship we fell back into each other. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had, and it wasn’t even a real one.

“We cared about each other, and…I think he loved me. Time wasn’t on our side. It was too much or too little, I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Just when I think I’ve let go; I dream of him. Then he’s on my mind for days. And now this time…” she shakes her head and Calum pulls her against him. “I went on socials and I found out that he um…he’s a dad now. And I feel so stupid because that could have been me if we kept what we had. I feel stupid because a part of me wanted it to be me.”

Calum doesn’t fully understand the ins and outs of their relationship, but four years of physical affection and a rock to lean on, that’s a lot of history. He also doesn’t fully understand how this guy didn’t make it official with Y/N. She’s the perfect best friend with a big heart.

Calum wishes he knew her in school because he would have been the one to take her to prom. He would have been the one take her to movies and dinners and surprise her with flowers. He would have made it official rather than keep her guessing.

“I’m really going through it and I don’t know how to get out,” she whispers sadly.

“I think…” Calum heaves a big sigh and kisses her wet head. “I think you’re just cracking the surface of breaking free. I can tell he meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to him. Even if he never said it, you’ll always be a part of him just like he’ll be a part of you. Someone that important won’t just poof away.”

“But I want him to, it hurts.”

“I know it does, sweetheart. I’ll help you in any way I can, okay?”

“You’re so understanding and you’re so good, but I don’t want to cry over another guy when you’re here.”

“That’s what best friends do.”

She turns her head and gazes up at him. He notices the storm in her eyes aren’t as dark, her lips are chapped from the cracking of memories she spilled out.

“Calum, you’re more than my best friend.”

He hears a deeper truth in her statement, and it causes his breathing to quicken. The subtle yet very noticeable flick of her eyes to his lips causes him to react. He gives her a quick peck, but that smallest touch sent an enormous shock through his system.

They settle against her pillows, the kiss wasn’t awkward, but it filled them both with questions. Questions that will be answered at a different time because right now he wants to hear this most vulnerable part of her life. She takes his hand in hers first and plays with his fingers while she talks.

He makes comments and asks questions to try and understand a bit more. Calum kisses her head when her voice starts to shake. Hours go by and the sky starts to lighten, birds are awakening.

“Hey,” she says right as he’s about to fall asleep. They talked all night, but she quieted down about twenty minutes.

“Hm?” he opens his eyes.

“We match.”

He looks down at their intertwined fingers when she taps on his nail. His polish is chipped away from chewing on a hangnail then smiles at the black color. He lifts their hands and kisses their knuckles.

“I feel what you feel.”

“What exactly do you feel?”

“I felt you slipping. I can sense your emotions when no one else can, and I guess I painted my nails subconsciously because I didn’t want you to be alone in the dark,” he explains. She’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she really fell asleep this time.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’ll be this bad again.”

“If you are, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”

“Cal?”

“Hmm?” he sighs. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open, but he doesn’t want her to stop talking. He doesn’t want her out of his arms.

“When I’m dreaming tonight it will be of you.”

Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @loveroflrh @cxddlyash @princesslrh @spicylftv @notinthesameguey @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @thatscooibaby @suchalonelysunflower @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @karajaynetoday @quasighost @i-like-5sos @creampiecashton @calpops @littledrummeraussie @sexgodashton @f-mu

#best friend!cal #calum hood oneshot #calum hood angst #calum fluff #calum hood fluff #calum 5sos writing #calum 5sos #5sos writing #calum hood 5sos #calum fic #calum hood fic

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calpalirwin · 3 years

Text

Are We?

A/N: Based on Are We by Taylor Acorn cuz I’m obsessed with her music (and you should be too)

Word Count: 1.9k

And away, and away we go!

You could feel the music from Michael’s DJ setup thumping in your bones as you stepped outside, the cool night air immediately bringing goosebumps to your arms. You slid into the jacket you brought with you, catching a lingering scent of cologne as you did, and sighed. That’s what you got for leaving your jacket right next to his. That’s what you got for having his hoodie on your dresser in the first place.

“Yeah, it’s a lil on the cold side, isn’t it?” a familiar voice drifted into your ear and you turned to the sound.

“A little, yeah. Too bad you left your hoodie at my place.”

“Eh,” Ashton shrugged. “I don’t mind if it stays there honestly. I have plenty of others. And I’m over at your place a lot, so at least I know I’ll always have a back up if I need it, ya know.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” you tried to laugh off as you raised your gaze to properly meet his, feeling your stomach tie itself in knots.

“You good?” he prompted after a beat of watching you work your mouth, trying to form words and failing.

What are we? is what you wanted to ask, but what came out was a forced smile and a choked “Yeah, I’m good. Gonna grab a drink. Catch up later?”

“Sure thing,” he mumbled as you quickly walked off, before muttering a string of curses under his breath. “Just fuckin’ talk to her, for fuck’s sake…”

~~~

“Hey, I’m Ashton,” the brunette smiled widely at you, offering his hand.

“Y/N,” you smiled back, shaking his hand.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

Ashton giggled, pushing a hand through his hair. “Alright then. Well… if you change your mind…”

“I probably won’t, but I’ll find you if I do.”

“Cool.”

You sighed, maybe a little dreamily, as he walked off. Sure, he was cute. But the first time meeting butterflies in your stomach would settle eventually. And with how you and Ashton appeared to run in the same circle of friends, you needed the phase to pass without playing into it. A relationship was the last thing you needed right now anyway.

~~~

“Some fuckin’ phase…” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed a water bottle from a cooler. When you turned, you could see Ashton chatting with other friends of yours, his shirt being pulled tight against his back and shoulders as he moved his hands animatedly.

Your mind raced with who’s fault it was for the storm you couldn’t make sense of. On one hand, rationally, you knew it was your fault for being the one to set the friend boundary in the first place. But Ashton was the one who had crossed it. And now you were the one who felt like the clingy one-night stand, trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together with both sides blank. Although, in hindsight, maybe if it had only been a one-night stand, you could be playing it cool like he was.

~~~

“Oh, my God, get a room!” Calum groaned before chucking a pillow at Luke, and another one at Michael. “We have a rule against fucking in a public space for a reason.”

“We’re not fucking,” Michael defended, his words mumbled as his lips stayed locked on Crystal’s.

“Well, fuck you, I’m going to bed then. And wearing ear plugs I guess…” Calum rose to his feet with a huff.

“Night, mate,” Luke told him as he and Sierra came up for air, their foreheads knocking gently against each other’s.

Now alone to deal with the two couples making out like sex-crazed teenagers, you and Ashton shared a look where he made a kissy face that had you busting up laughing.

“Alright, fine!” Michael threw up his hands in defeat. “We’ll go to bed.”

“Have fun!” Ashton grinned.

“Use protection!” you joined in on the teasing as both couples headed to their own rooms. “Ugh…” you sighed, stretching your arms over your head. “Is it wrong to be jealous?”

“Jealous of what? That?” Ashton asked, motioning towards Luke and Michael’s rooms.

“Yeah. Not necessarily the relationship bit. Still not sure I want that. But God, to just get fucked senseless by someone who’s not a rando every now and again would be nice.”

“Well…” he started, and you noticed the subtle switch to his suggestive tone. “You know where my room is.”

“Are you seriously trying to hit on me right now?”

He shrugged, raising his hands defensively. “Look. You’re the one who said you wanted to get fucked senseless by someone who’s not a rando. I just happen to be someone who’s not a rando to you, and I have a great track record of being one hell of a lay. So… you could just go to your room, and do whatever it is you do. Or you could come to mine, and I’ll treat you to a good time, no awkwardness afterward guaranteed.”

“No one can know.”

“Pity… I like ‘em loud.”

“Ashton.”

“Alright, alright. This stays between you and me, got it. Not a problem.”

~~~

Both of you thought that it would just be that night. That if it happened too much, things would either get awkward, or you’d run the risk of your friends catching on. But sex with Ashton was like a drug. And now things were definitely awkward. Or at least, you were awkward. And you didn’t know how to take it all back. To be the people you were when you first met. And more than that, you didn’t want that. All this time, you thought it was space that you needed. But Ashton wasn’t someone you could erase. Because even if you acted like regular friends in public, those moments underneath the sheets were heaven. But you could do without each middle-of-the-night goodbye tearing you more and more apart. You could do without thinking about him in every spare moment, and second guessing everything you ever thought you knew about him. And you could really do without crying every time you tried to convince yourself that it didn’t matter whether it's all in your head, or if it’s real. But alas, it seemed like you were destined to be just another woman who fell for Ashton Irwin, wishing to wake up with him still next to you just once.

~~~

You stayed at Michael’s party for a while longer, making your rounds, while avoiding Ashton as much as you could, until you started your rounds of goodbyes.

“Headed out?” Ashton questioned, one arm wrapping around you for a side hug that made your insides twist more.

“Long day,” you half-lied.

He pulled a frown, wondering how much he should believe you or not. “Well, alright then. Text me when you get home so I know you got there safe?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And uh…” he paused as his eyes darted around, checking to see if anyone was in earshot. “Call if you need to.” His breath was hot as it brushed against your ear, before his lips planted a quick kiss to the side of your head.

“Yep, see ya!” you said, maybe louder than you needed to before making your final exit.

Don’t call him, you thought on a loop the whole drive back to your apartment.

Don’t call him, you thought as you texted the group chat that you got home, rather than just him.

Don’t call him, you thought as you stared at your phone screen, finger hovering over his contact info.

Sighing, you set your phone face down on your nightstand. It’s not like calling him would do any good if you didn’t know what to say anyhow.

“Seriously, don’t do it,” you whispered to yourself as you changed into his hoodie for bed. If you couldn’t have him the way you wanted, this would have to be enough. Everything with all its complications would have to be enough.

You were double checking locks and turning off lights when your phone started ringing. You didn’t have time to process the name calling as you hit accept. “Hello?”

“Hey…” Ashton’s voice responded, sounding almost broken.

“You alright?”

“Are you?” he countered.

“Ash… look, it’s late, and I’m pretty tired.”

“I’m not calling you for sex, Y/N.”

“Then what else are you calling me for this late?”

“Would you just let me in please? It’s freezing out here.”

“Are you…?” You made your way through your apartment to the door, twisting the lock and pulling it open. “What are you…?”

“So you sleep in my clothes now?” Ashton asked, in lieu of answering your own half-asked questions.

“It’s comfortable…” you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, as he walked past you, and sat down on your couch.

“I’m not mad,” he said, as you shut the door and made your way to sit next to him. “I mean, it’s fine. I don’t care that you wear it. It uh… looks good on you that way.” As if to illustrate his point, his fingers ran over your bare thighs.

You shifted away from his touch, tucking your legs underneath you. “What do you want, Ash?” you asked, cutting straight to the point.

“I honestly don’t know. Cuz it changes. Sometimes I want my friend back because I feel like I’m losing her, especially these past few days. And other days… I dunno.”

“You think you’re losing me?”

“I mean…” he shrugged. “I hope I’m wrong. But yeah. It feels like that sometimes.”

“Ash…” You reached out to cradle his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing across his cheekbones. “You’re not losing me.”

“But it feels that way.” His hands pulled yours away from his face, but continued to hold them tightly as your hands dropped in his lap. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong.”

“Then why are you acting like something’s changed?”

“Because something has changed, Ash.”

“Well, tell me! Tell me what it is, and I’ll fix it.”

“It’s me, Ash. I’m the something that’s changed.”

“I- I don’t think I understand.”

“I love you, Ashton.”

“I love you, too.”

“No. I’m in love with you.”

“Okay, and what’s so wrong with that?”

“Because you’re not in love with me back! Because I did this to myself! I tried to keep my distance because the last time I fell for someone I got hurt! But I let you get close anyway, because you’re you! And now I’m falling, and dammit I don’t wanna get hurt again!”

“Shh,” he soothed, pulling you into him as hot tears spilled down your face and onto his shirt. “Shh, it’s alright, Y/N. Everything’s alright.”

“No it’s not!” you sobbed into his chest. “I don’t know what we are, Ash! Are we just friends who have sex sometimes? Is that all we get to be to each other?”

“Look at me,” he coaxed gently, his hands rubbing up and down your back. “God damn it, look at me,” he repeated more sternly when you didn’t, his hands guiding your face to look at him. “Remember how I said I thought I was losing you?” he asked, his thumbs brushing away the tears as they continued to roll.

You sniffed loudly as you nodded.

“It’s because I’m in love with you, too. I thought I was pushing too far, and that’s why you were pulling away.”

You shook your head. “N-no. I was pu-pulling away, cuz I’m sc-scared to be in love with y-you.”

“Oh, honey, you don’t have to be scared of that.”

“I d-don’t?”

He chuckled lightly, placing soft kisses along your hairline. “Of course not,” he murmured. “Because we’re friends first, which means I’m not going anywhere.”

“But we’re more than that, too?”

“So much more than that.”

“Ash? Will you stay with me tonight? And be here in the morning?”

“Of course, baby.”

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996 @creator-appreciator @philthepegacorn @myfavfanficsever @cxddlyash @youngblood199456 @stormrider505 @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @hoodhoran @metalandboybands @maybeememez @major5sosstan @kaitieskidmore1

#are we #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin x reader #5sos #calpal irwin

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whiskery-louis · 3 years

Text

Priorities

a/n: Okay I’m really excited for this one. It will be a multi part story line! And I just kinda through this together tonight so please let me know what you think!

Luke Hemmings x Reader roughly 1.5k

Warnings: abandonment, angst

Synopsis: After abruptly leaving tour for personal reasons the boys show up looking for answers.

To say I miss touring was an understatement, I miss the adrenaline rush and the long nights staying up talking once a show had finished. I miss bonding with the crew over things no one else understood and I miss the boys more than anything. A year ago I never would have anticipated leaving the tour on such short notice but then life happened.

I was never good at goodbyes and I couldn’t bear to admit that I was really leaving. So I did the only logical thing to avoid it, I left in the middle of one of their shows. I texted the boys that I wasn’t feeling well and then I just left. I couldn’t face them, to this day I never really said goodbye. I gave them a vague answer telling them I couldn’t take being on the road anymore and needed some time to myself.

These have been the longest and most exhausting six months of my life, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. My sister gave birth roughly a year ago to my beautiful nephew and then six months ago she just left. She couldn’t raise him on her own and she chose to leave him with her roommate and a note to call me; I will never forget that phone call. My heart broke for my nephew, he was innocent in all the drama that surrounded his birth. He was just a baby and he needed me. I instantly knew I had to be the one to raise him, there was no one else since my mom died a few years back and my dad was never in the picture. It wasn’t fair to me or him but we all had to play with the cards we are dealt.

I was so mad at my sister, I couldn’t understand how she could just leave her son. I knew she had been through a lot with the baby’s father but from our conversations she had been doing okay and there were no signs she would do something so extreme. I loved being an aunt more than anything in the world, but I never imagined having to step in and be a single mother at my age. If I’m being honest I was never sure I wanted to have kids at all but I always thought I would have time to make that choice.

I was broken from my thoughts by cries coming from the next room. I checked the monitor and saw he had pulled himself up and was standing in his crib yelling. I groaned pausing my show and rolling off the couch.

“I’m coming buddy.”

I looked at the clock and saw he had only gone down 45 minutes ago, meaning he was up over an hour earlier than he should be. I groaned thinking about how bad the rest of the day would be if he doesn’t get back to sleep soon. I decided to help my future self out and quickly warmed up a few ounces of milk in case I couldn’t soothe him back to sleep on my own.

Twenty minutes later and I was glad I made the bottle, he fell right back to sleep after drinking it. I sat back down on the couch with a sigh, debating if I wanted to finish my show or sleep for an hour. I settled on another episode of New Girl because I was too exhausted to even focus on anything new. I had barely hit play when someone started pounding on the door.

“Shit,” I jumped up trying to get to the door before the pounding woke the baby. Whoever was at my door, I was going to kill whoever it was as I wasn’t expecting any packages today. “For the love of god, stop knocking you’re going to wake the baby!” I lightly yelled as I yanked the door open.

I froze, my mouth still hanging open, staring at the four lanky boys on my doorstep.

“Y/N!” Michael shouted.

“We missed you,” Calum smiled at me.

“I missed you the most!” Ashton pouted.

“Baby?” Luke whispered, eyes open in shock. Heading swiveling from the other boys to me.

My brain could not register what was actually happening, that the boys were actually standing on my front porch. I stopped to take them in and see how much they changed over the past few months. Michaels hair was now platinum blonde, a color I think suited him best. He also just looked so much happier, something I knew to be credited to his relationship with Crystal. Calum looked pretty much the same, his hair was just a bit shaggier and he somehow looked tanner than before. Ashton had dyed his hair black and somehow seemed taller to me. Lastly my eyes trailed to Luke, he looked mostly the same but there was something wrong with his eyes; they weren’t filled with their usual mischief..

“Y/N did yo-did you have a baby?” Calum asked, eyes glancing behind me to the mess of baby toys strewn through the house.

“Is that why you left?” Ash looked at me with concern.

“What are you guys doing here? How did you even get my address?” I asked dodging their questions, but they all saw through me.

“Don’t ignore us Y/N, tell us what the hell happened back in New York? You were part of our family and then you were just gone?” Michael asked.

I sighed and moved aside to let them in. “Come in, but please keep it down. I don’t want to wake up the baby.”

The four of them shuffled into the house all awkwardly standing in the entryway, staring at the disaster my house was.

“Sorry for the mess, I wasn’t expecting company.” I moved around them and quickly cleared the toys off the couch, tossing them into a nearby bin. “Please sit, do you guys want anything to drink? I have water and lemonade.”

They all nodded and mumbled ‘sure.’ I knew they were all a bit shell shocked at how they found me. Not one of them anticipated me to be settled down, they all knew how much I loved being on the road.

“I’ll help you,” Luke stood up and followed me into the kitchen.

“The cups are over there,” I pointed to the cabinet next to the sink as I opened the fridge to pull out the drinks, I even had some soda I didn’t know about. I turned to find Luke staring out the window obviously deep in thought. I could tell that he had something he wanted to get off his chest.

“What is it Luke?”

He turned to me, “What do you mean?”

“I know you Luke, you clearly have something you want to say to me so…” I gestured for him to talk.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, tugging slightly at the ends. I could tell he was having an inner conflict with himself about whether he should voice his thoughts or not. He took another deep breath before raising his eyes to meet mine.

“I just didn’t understand why you left. I was so mad at you Y/N, you left without a word, I didn’t even get a separate text. I was so prepared to come here and demand a response, but it’s pretty clear looking around why you left.” he pointed to the high chair and bibs next to the table.

“Luke I wanted to tell you, so badly but I couldn’t.”

I took a step towards him, reaching out my hand to touch his elbow but he pulled away moving to lean against the island.

“Then why didn’t you? I would’ve helped Y/N if you just told me. You didn’t have to do this alone.”

“I didn’t have a choice Luke. There was no-”

The look on Luke’s face cut me off, he looked so heartbroken. I couldn’t imagine that he would be that upset over me leaving the tour. Sure we had a few drunken hookups here and there, and I thought there was a chance for us to be more but I had to leave and we never got the chance to find out. I never thought Luke would be this upset over me. I opened my mouth to try and explain to him, but his next words stopped me.

“We came backstage and you were just gone. One text saying you needed a break? That’s all we were worth to you? Is that all I was worth to you Y/N? I thought we could be something, but you never gave me a chance. You just bailed. And now we show up after all this time and you have a kid? I can’t believe it. I just-I just need to know. Am I the dad?”

#luke #hemmings #luke hemmings #imagine #lukeimagine #luke imagine #luke hemmings imagine #5sos #5sosimagine #5sos imagine #ashton imagine #michael imagine #calum imagine #5sos preference #luke blurb #luke x reader #luke x y/n #luke x you

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constilationn · 3 years

Text

Changing The Sheets || Part 2 🥀

A/N: Hey guys, I wrote a part two of this because I really like the direction it was going in. Anyway, I’m really really proud of this one and I loved writing it. Please do give any and all feedback, I love it. Much love guys.

Rating: T?

Warning: naughty words, that's about it.

Summary: You think you’re doing okay, Ashton shows up and you realise you might not be. But time can mend and you know that.

Part 1

At the end of three weeks, crisis mode ends for everyone but you. Calum stops coming by every day, understandable because he has his own life to live but it hurts all the same. Luke and Michael still come around occasionally but everything goes back to normal. You’ve accepted Ashton isn’t coming back anytime soon, you’ve accepted that he’s probably with her now and it’s time to move on but it still hurts. It hurts so much that your heart seemingly twists with every breath you take and a pain lingers in your gut that you can’t get rid of no matter how hard you try. Still, you think it might be time to fix the bedroom, throw out all of Ashton’s old stuff and start fresh. You think you can do that, think after weeks of shutting the world out, you can drag yourself down to the department store and buy replacements for all the stuff you broke. You can drag yourself out of bed, put your goddamn clothes on and start putting yourself back together like you promised you would.

And so you do.

Two days after changing the sheets for the first time, you kick the comforter back off and let it land on the floor. You drag yourself up, throw the pillows from the bed and strip the sheet from the mattress. It’s different now, this isn’t anger anymore or at least you don’t think it is, you think its acceptance, think it’s the determination to pick up the pieces of yourself and slot them back into place no matter what you have to do. Because you can’t stay in this apartment with all the things you shared and the shards of the promises he made to you. You can’t stay in this house with fragments of his cologne and toothbrush and his record collection that stares mockingly at you every time you sit on the couch and try to forget everything he destroyed when he left you. You think ... you think you need to make this place your own, fill it with your own love and your own light and everything you know you can be with him. Because you’ll be okay, you know you’ll be okay but it’ll take time, and you know that too.

The first thing you do when you finally force yourself away from the bedroom and away from the pile of sheets you’ve pulled from the cupboard, is grab a trash bag from the cupboard under the sink and head back into the bathroom. You don’t spare the broken glass another look as you sweep it into the bag, try not to touch the bristles of the toothbrush as you throw the fragments of the life you had before into the bag. In fact, you clear out every single thing in that room that belongs to him and make a note in your mind to buy your favourite bath salts and bath bombs and replace everything he said he loved with what you like because this is your home now, and you intend to make it a place filled with love instead of betrayal and regret.

The trash bag is full by the time you reach the closet in your bedroom, all traces of Ashton gone from the bathroom and the kitchen. You left the living room, can’t bring yourself to touch his record collection that he spent weeks organizing or the stack of books with his scribbled post it notes on top. You loved reading almost as much as he did. You’ve always been a sucker for getting lost in a story, mostly Jane Austen, and her talent for writing a romance you could only dream about. You’ve fantasied about meeting your Prince Charming on more than one occasion. You thought you’d found that when you’d met Ashton. Turns out you were wrong.

It takes you a minute. It takes you a minute because everything hits you, suddenly and all at once, and you have to stop yourself from falling back into the chaos you’re so determined to leave behind. You take a breath, shaking, then another and turn back into the bedroom without giving that stupid coffee table another glance. You might have to buy another one, fuck, you might have to refurnish your entire apartment until you can learn to love and breath in here again.

Crescent moons appear on your palms as you dig you nails into your skin in an attempt to stop your hands shaking. It feels stupid, like you should be able to shake and cry and scream all you want in your own apartment but you feel Ashton lingering in everything you do. You have to be strong, you have to be able to throw these things out without a second glance because you’ll destroy yourself if you keep them here for much longer. You’re torn, torn between keeping his things because you know you still love him, or getting rid of them because you know you have to move on. But there’s something in the pit of your stomach, something that feels suspiciously like hope, that he’ll realize his mistake and come back.

You tear his clothes off the hangars and stuff them into the trash bag without another thought.

You leave the stripped bed, bare pillows and duvet on the floor and drag the trash bag back through the apartment. You spare a glance to the clock that hangs in your kitchen and you’re surprised to see it’s almost eleven at night. It means you’ve spent the better part of three hours throwing every trace of Ashton out of your apartment without shedding a tear. It’s an accomplishment, of sorts, something to be proud of and you know in that moment, you’ll be able to make this apartment a beautiful home for yourself.

You grab the bag, pull the door just as someone pushes from the other side and you stumble, fall back and drop the bag as Calum stands on the other side of the door with his hand still on the door handle and a stunned expression on his face.

“Calum?” You scramble to shove Ashton’s stuff back into the trash bag as Calum watches with the ghost of a smirk on his lips. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you.” It’s the first time he’s been back in a few days and you weren’t expecting one of Ashton's best friends to open the door just as you were throwing out everything he owned. Calum’s voice is thick with amusement as he speaks. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m cleansing.” You fumble for the ties at the top of the trash bag and pull them tightly. “Getting my shit together.”

“Getting rid of shit, you mean.”

“No,” you sigh, run a hand through your hair and realizing you haven’t brushed it in the same breath you realise you probably smell awful. “I’m creating something.”

“You don’t have to get rid of his stuff right away, you know. Just like you don’t have to stop loving him right away.” Calum takes the bag from you, fingers gently brushing yours, and you know by your lack of resistance that he’s right. “Let me take this.” He pauses, glances at your face for any sign of discomfort. When he finds none and instead is met with a soft smile, he continues. “You’ll regret it if you dump this right now. Trust me.”

“I do,” you reply, relinquishing the bag. “I do trust you.” You pause, watching Calum as he smiles. A deep breath leaves your lips without you meaning it to and Calum raises an eyebrow like he knows there’s something you want to ask him. He waits, he’s patient because he knows how hard this is for you. “How is he?” You finally ask, voice no more than a breath.

“Luke says he’s heartbroken.”

“Luke? You haven’t seen him?”

Calum shakes his head. “I’m here for you, not him. He’s my best friend but I can’t support what he did.”

It takes a lot of strength for you not to cry then, and you blink back tears, sniffle and disguise it with a laugh as Calum wraps you in his arms. You almost deflate against him, like you can finally breath, like you’ve got the validation that Ashton is in the wrong, not you. “Thank you.” You whisper, fighting to keep your voice even. “Thank you.”

Calum pulls away after a minute, “Give me this shit,” he laughs, waiting as you grab your purse and jacket and lock the door. “You want me to drive you?”

“You don’t even know where I’m going.” You chuckle, following him down the stairs and outside to his car as you struggle to keep your gaze away from the trash bag he holds in his hand. You whole life is in there, well, your old life. You dig for your keys, push the thought away and head to your car. “I love you Cal, but we’re going different ways and you’re not the best driver.”

“I’m a great driver!” He insists as you duck into your car and give him a wave. He flips you off with a grin and you shake your head as you pull out of the lot ahead of Calum and take the turn to the department store.

You’re ready, you know you’re ready and you’ve already got a list in your head of what you can buy now that Ashton’s gone. You’ll fill the bathroom shelves with wicker baskets full of bath salts. You’ll buy new sheets, ones alive with colour and you’ll replace the cushion covers with the ones you wanted to get all along. You’ll buy plants and put them in every nook and cranny of your apartment and you’ll stock the fridge with your favourite food and forget how it used to be crammed with beer. It’s the next step for you, the next chapter.

But the thing is, you didn’t want to turn the page at all.

You pull into a space outside the store, grab a basket and head inside in high spirits because this is the first time you’ve felt confident with a decision since Ashton left. You dressed in something other than pajamas, you threw on some makeup and you hauled your ass out of the apartment because you’re so determined to make a life for yourself.

And you’re so confident in this decision, so unbelievably proud of yourself as you turn down the aisle to pick out your plants, that you think you might be having some sort of mental break when you see Ashton standing at the other end of aisle with a plant in hand.

And you freeze, your blood turns cold and you fucking freeze on the floor of that department store because every emotion that you’ve felt in the last few weeks hit you like a slap to the face and you fail to pick your jaw up off the floor, fail to turn around and leave despite the amount of fear and hate and adrenaline that’s racing through your veins. So, when he turns and meets your eyes and the plant he’s holding falls to the floor and the pot shatters, your heart fucking explodes.

And yet, you still can’t fucking move.

Your name on his lips for the first time in weeks makes your stomach turn and bile rise in your throat. Your heart races, thunders in your chest and you can hear blood pounding in your head as you try to figure out what to do before he reaches you. But you can’t leave now because he’s seen you and as much as you want to show him that he means nothing to you, you can’t bring yourself to destroy the last little piece of your relationship that has survive. So you take a breath, steady yourself because you refuse to be afraid of this anymore and turn to Ashton as he stops in front of you.

“Hi.” You wait for him to speak first and when he does, you’re surprised to find there’s anger in the pit of your stomach instead of the grief you expected to feel.

You cross your arms over your chest. “Hi.”

Ashton hesitates, “How are you?”

“How do you think?”

“I— “

“You what?” You’re aware you don’t give him the chance to finish but the rage that seems to have consumed you in the time that he’s walked from one end of the aisle to the other is the thing that guides you.

“I’m so sorry.”

You scoff, “I bet you are,” you glance down to the basket in his hands. “So what, you’re already shopping for your new place? For your new girl?”

You’re not sure Ashton’s eyes can widen anymore. He’s always known you were feisty, knew exactly what he was getting into but he’s never seen you like this, driven by blinding anger. “No. No, I... I’m staying with Luke. Thought I could get him something to say thank you.”

“Not staying at your new girls house then?” You haven’t unfolded your arms, eyes glaring at Ashton as he focuses on anything other than your face.

Ashton’s eyes fall to your shoes. “I haven’t seen her since that night.”

You laugh, short and bitter. “Don’t be shy, Ash. Since the night you fucked her.”

Ashton shakes his head, “Please, please let me explain.”

“What’s there to explain?” And despite yourself, you take a step closer to him. “You don’t love me anymore, remember.”

Ashton seems close to tears, frustration and exasperation driving him towards the edge. “Just give me a chance to explain, please.”

You’re silent for a moment watching Ashton as he watches you before you let go of your cart, raise an eyebrow and turn to leave the store. You’re not sure if Ashton picked up that you want him to follow but then you head into the parking lot and hear his footsteps behind you as he follows you to your car.

“Get in.” Is the only thing you say as you open the door to your car and watch Ashton slide into the passenger seat. He doesn’t have to say yes. All he does is wait.

🥀

A silver Honda passes you as you and Ashton sit side by side on the hood of the car. You’ve been here for seven minutes and twelve seconds, you know because you’ve been watching the seconds pass you by on the clock on the dashboard.

“We haven’t talked in a while.” You finally say, remembering every single might where you pushed the call button on Ashton’s contact on your phone.

“No,” Ashton replies, quiet as ever, “No we haven’t talked at all.”

The freeway’s almost empty but some traffic zooms by the two of you as you stare past Ashton and into the inky blue of the sky. It’s fourteen minutes past one, all you know is that you drove the freeway for two hours and then pulled over to the an emergency bay on the side of the road. But you don’t know much else because your head is spinning and Ashton is sitting the closet to you that he has in weeks.

You can’t avoid this forever, you suppose, which is a shame because you've done a good job trying.

So you sigh, slide off the hood of the car as you wipe your hands on your jeans. Ashton looks like he wants to follow but the glare you cast his way tells him to stay put. “This is how this is going to work. You’re going to answer every fucking question I ask you and I might not shove you in front of an oncoming vehicle.”

Ashton nods, barely breaths as he says “yes.” Probably because he doesn’t want to be thrown in front of a car, you suppose. But still, it’s a start.

“Who bought you your shit?” It’s no mystery to you that some of Ashton’s stuff disappeared from your apartment before you started to break everything. You couldn’t bring yourself to care back then. You do now, though.

“Luke and Michael.”

“You saw them a lot?”

“A bit, yeah.”

You nod, run your tongue over your teeth. “Calum?” Because despite what he said to you, your trust has been shattered and you want to see if Ashton will lie to you even now.

“He hasn’t returned my calls,” Ashton says quietly. “I don’t know.”

Okay, you think, two questions in and you don’t want to snap yourself in half. You take a few steps away from the car, then walk back and stare Ashton straight in the face as another car growls past.

“How’ve you been? Really? Don’t sugar coat it.”

Ashton gives a sad sort of smile as he fiddles with the bottom of his shirt. “Fucking...terrible. Maybe worse. Haven’t been getting out of bed a lot.”

“Good.” You snap, can’t stop yourself because he should hurt just as much as you did. He shouldn’t be able to get out of fucking bed either. You breathe in the crisp night air and try to calm yourself.

“How’ve you been?” You stop pacing across the gravel of the freeway and look up at him.

“You already asked me that. I already answered.” God, your voice is vicious, prowls across the cool night air and bites at him. But you feel satisfied, knowing you can give Ashton little cuts like this.

Ashton bites his lip and looks down. He looks out of breath, like he’s run miles and you can’t help but think god, because he deserves every bit of pain you felt. “I know. But it’s all I think about.”

Cry me a fucking river. You want to scream. You couldn’t handle one fucking day of this.

Fuck, you love him so much.

And even though he hasn’t talked over you once you can’t help but snap, “Interrupt me one more time and you can fucking walk home.” And then before you can stop yourself, before you can falter, “Now, why’d you do it?”

Ashton stops moving then, stops fiddling, stops breathing, so quickly that you’re almost worried. But then Ashton opens his mouth and you realise you’re not ready for this answer so you cover your fear with malice. “Don’t hesitate” you say, “Don’t fucking um and ah. And don’t bullshit me, don’t you fucking dare.”

“Okay.”

“So why’d you fucking do it, you selfish prick.” You say and when your voice finally cracks, Ashton looks away.

Good, you think, fucking let him hurt. Let him feel half of what I have.

“Baby— “

“Why did you fucking do it?” You yell, veering straight past the nickname because you can’t handle that right now, not on top of everything else. You voice makes Ashton’s head snap up. “Don’t fucking look away from me. Just tell me!” And then softer, because your voice has cracked and you can’t do this anymore, “Just say it. Please.”

Ashton nods, wipes the back of his hand over his eyes.

“Okay...okay, but you can’t...it’s not logic. It’s not.”

“Just say it.” Four cars go past before Ashton speaks again and you fight to keep yourself steady on your feet.

“I got scared,” he says finally and you’ve never heard Ashton’s voice so small. “I got scared and you didn’t. I got scared and I panicked and I drank too much and you were a million miles away and I fucked up.”

“Not enough,” you shake your head. “That’s not enough. You don’t get to fuck someone and tell me you don’t love me and get away with it in a single sentence. That’s not fucking good enough.”

Ashton slides from the hood of the car then and you’re so scared he’s going to end this conversation and get back in the car and leave you again. So, you say the first thing you can think of. “You wanted it too, though, didn’t you? You wanted me?” And, fuck, you can barely stomach how stupid your question sounds but you need to know. You need to know.

“Of course I wanted you.” Ashton says, polar opposite to the venom that coats your voice. “Of course I did.”

“Then what the fuck?” You ask angrily because you don’t understand, you don’t. “What the fuck was all of it for. I don’t understand.”

“We weren’t supposed to make it.” Ashton whispers and the distance you’ve put between the two of you, you quickly close because you can’t miss this. “We were twenty-one and twenty fucking three something and we weren’t supposed to make it. It wasn’t...it wasn’t supposed to go anywhere because I was leaving for tour and you wanted that degree and wanted to leave this stupid goddamn city. And we didn’t have a chance in hell of making it.”

Your inches away from him now.

“And then by some fucking miracle, we did make it.” Ashton says, “and then you’re talking about a future with a house and a family and fucking colour schemes and shit and it scared me. I was fucking scared and so out of my depth and I didn’t know what to do.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You croak out, “Why didn’t...you could’ve told me.”

Ashton snorts and makes the two of you seem impossibly closer. “Do you know what kind of person you are to let down?” He asks, “I couldn’t do that to you and so I got scared and I tried to avoid it and I fucked up.”

“So you went and stuck your dick in someone else?” You spit, “like that wasn’t going to raise anymore fucking issues, like that wasn’t going to cause a bit of a problem, like— “

“You asked me why.” Ashton says and his voice raises for the first time. “You asked me why. I’m not saying it makes sense but...that’s it.”

You thought knowing would make you feel better. You really did, but now you know just how mistaken you’ve been. “I should’ve known,” you say, face white, “I should’ve known, I was right there and I just...I did nothing.”

You could deal with not knowing, you realise, you could deal with that but now there’s a pressure on your chest saying it’s on you, saying it’s your fault. You think you might throw up and brace yourself against the hood of the car.

“It’s not your fault,” Ashton says from behind you and you’ve forgotten how much you miss his comfort, his safety. “It’ll never be your fault. You have to know that.”

“But it is.” You say, snapping back around to face Ashton. “Because you couldn’t tell me. You couldn’t tell me and you couldn’t touch me a and so you had to find someone else.” And it’s so overwhelming, so fucking overwhelming and it hits you all at once and you don’t realise Ashton holding you until your legs are about to give out.

You want to push him away, want to throw yourself off, want to barrel into traffic for all you care but you’re not strong enough. Because you’re so fucking tired and sad and so, so in love with the boy in front of you that it feels like if you let go of him you’ll forget how to breath.

“I hate you.” You sob but pull Ashton closer and you shudder as he kisses the top of your hair. “I love you. I can’t fucking do this.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ashton whispers. “I’m so so sorry. I’m sorry I did it and I’m sorry I hurt you and I’m so so sorry I fucked it all up.”

“No. Don’t do that. You don’t get to say sorry and have yourself feel better and leave me here like this. You don’t get to do that.”

“I’m— “

“I fucking love you,” You yell and somewhere, someone sounds their horn as they pass you and you kick up a cloud of dust. “God, I love you so much but I can’t fucking trust you and I hate you a lot but I still love you too. And I don’t understand how you can say you feel the same when you did all this.”

Ashton stops in his tracks then, freezes just like you did in the department store. “No one picked up the phone for me, you know that? No one picked up for the longest time and when Luke finally did, he gave me a fucking earful.” Ashton pauses, lowers his voice. “And I didn’t care.”

Everything in your head snaps quiet.

“What?”

“I didn’t care,” Ashton says, “because all I could think about was getting you back. I knocked on Luke’s door that first fucking night and said I want to go home.”

“But that can’t be true,” you whispered, “because you fucked someone else.”

You see the way that rips through Ashton, see the way it absolutely breaks him but you don’t feel satisfied. You just feel so, so tired.

“Yeah,” Ashton says and it’s the first time you’ve heard him own up to that. “Yeah and it only took me a fucking second to realise I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.”

You don’t say anything, watch the moon and the sky and a red car that growls past before you finally look back to Ashton.

“I don’t know what to do,” Ashton says. “But tell me what it is and I’ll fucking do it. I’ll do whatever you need, whatever you want. You’re so...” he trails off, bites his lip. “You’re so gorgeous, baby. You’re my favourite person in the world and I want to make you believe that again, if you’d let me.”

It’s too much, it’s all too much and suddenly all you need to do is go home and go to bed.

“Yeah. Well. I think you’ve done enough for today. Let’s go.” And the car is silent for the two hours back to the city.

You let Ashton walk you to the door for no other reason than you’re too tired to stop him. He casts a hopeful look at the door but you remember everything you’ve thrown out, what the apartment looks like now and the anger and emptiness still between those walls and you know you can’t let him in.

“You should go, Ash.” You say finally.

“Please,” is all he says. “Please, baby.” His voice is miserable and cracked and hoarse.

“I’ll call you.” You murmur. “I promise. I just...I just need a couple days.”

Ashton nods, presses a kiss to your cheek and leaves without another word.

You open the door and fall straight onto your bare bed. You’ve driven for hours, had the life drained out of you and all you need now is to sleep.

🥀

You get yourself a coffee the next morning, enjoy the sun for just a little while before you head back inside and sit and stare at your phone for a good couple of minutes. You know who to call, know what you want to say but you’re not sure if you’re ready for the conversation.

But you suppose that if you don’t do it now, you’ll have to do it later.

So, you pick up the phone, dial and it only takes a couple of seconds before Calum picks up on the other end.

“Hey,” you can already hear the concern in his voice, already know he’s straight back into panic mode. You can’t let it phase you though and so you take a breath and begin. “I need to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth.”

“Okay.”

“Do you think,” you start, closing your eyes. “Do you think it’s stupid or, I don’t know, weak if I take him back?”

Calum doesn’t say anything for a long time, although you can hear him drumming his fingernails on the table top.

“I think,” he says slowly, “that as long as you’re in this for you and not him...then I think forgiving him is the strongest thing you can do.”

“I haven’t forgiven him yet.” You mumble.

“I know.” He says, waits for you to speak again.

“Thank you,” you say because you need him to know how much he’s meant to you throughout this. “I do love you Cal, really.” And of course, it’s not in the same way you love Ashton, you doubt you’ll ever love someone the way you love Ashton, but you need him to know nonetheless.

“You know,” he pauses and when he speaks again you can hear his smile down the phone. “You changed the sheets, not me.”

You laugh and cry at the same time.

“I’ll talk to you later.” Calum murmurs gently. “Go get him.”

And so you do.

🥀

The first couple months are difficult to say the least.

You walk on eggshells for the first while, walk around each other and every touch, every brush of your skin against Ashton is uncertain. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night to Ashton breathing softly next to you and it’ll get too much and you’ll pad to the living room and sleep on the couch and wake to Ashton staring at you from the kitchen with guilt in the pit of your stomach.

When you come home and Ashton isn’t there, there’s an initial wave of nausea that hits you so hard you can’t do anything but sit and stare at the TV without turning it on. You know that he’ll be getting groceries or having a beer with the boys but all you’ll be able to think is that he’s back out with her and he won’t be coming back to you.

There are days when you think you can’t do it and nights when you can’t be in the same bed with him. The uncertainty lingers for a while but in the midst of that, there’s so much more. You start dating each other again and Ashton looks at you like you’re his whole world. You eat takeout and watch cheesy movies and take stupid photos and there are nights when you stay up until three in the morning and talking about everything that’s happened. There are nights when neither of you say anything either too, you don’t need to, because you know you’re going to be okay.

Everything mends, slowly. There comes a day when you don’t find broken bits of glass in the drawer in the bathroom. There comes a day when you’re on the couch with Ashton and you think that, somehow, it’s exactly how it used to be.

“Baby,” Ash murmurs one night, knowing that you’re okay with the nickname now. “You awake?”

You leave it for a second and then reply. “What’s up?”

“Just thinking.” Ashton says and you roll your eyes in the dark.

“Dangerous.” You grin into his chest. “What about?”

Ashton’s quiet for just a little too long before you realise this isn’t just going to be a goodnight.

“I just,” he says, “I lie here and I think about you. And I just...I just want you to know that there’s nowhere else I’d rather fall asleep than right here. That’s what I think every night before I go to sleep.” Ashton pulls you closer as you stay silent. “I just need you to know that I love you.” And he says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“Yeah,” you murmur and you kiss his jaw and then his lips with heavy eyes. “I know. I love you too, if you hadn’t realized.”

Ashton seems happy with that but you stay awake a little longer. You brush your hand over his skin until you’re calm enough to fall asleep next to him, next to the love of your life. And when you wake the next morning, it’s to the smell of Ashton cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

Everything mends, slowly.

The two of you mend last, but you think that’s okay. Because back before this, back when it all began, you were the one to change the sheets. And, you suppose, if changing the sheets wasn’t so bad, the rest won’t be either.

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