#i love characters with developmental problems

[sugar-konpeito]

ok take this entire post with a grain of salt because i'm really hyperfixated right now and just writing whatever but,, something i think about A LOT is mamoru's behavior (particularly anime mamoru (which i think may have something to do with ikuhara being really critical of japan's treatment of vulnerable children)) can be explained as results of neglect and developmental delays.

he was raised in an institution from the age of five, and probably primarily raised himself. he had to become self-sufficient at a very young age because he knew there was no one who would support him besides himself.

having more-or-less been an adult his whole life, he seems very mature. he's very successful in school, has worked multiple jobs, and owns an apartment. he's very well-mannered and polite, and never childish or poorly behaved. he has many accomplishments/skills for his age and is worldly. but if you pay close attention to him, there are aspects of his personality that are very childlike still or couldn't grow much. particularly emotional and social ones

here's a list of his signs of trauma/neglect/developmental delay (because i'm not sure how to make these into a paragraph):

-He's very naïve in general. Despite the cynical façade he put on early in the series, he doesn't understand many everyday social concepts and has a tendency to take things at face value.

-For example, he doesn't seem to have a firm grasp on gender. He's had very few close relationships in life, and only seems to have a very sketchy idea of what boys and girls are. Since the sailor guardians are pretty much the only girls he's been close to, he assumes their characteristics are indicative of all girls, instead of being idiosyncrasies of theirs.

There's a scene where Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars start randomly bickering over something innocuous and get pretty vicious and *very* loud. Tuxedo Mask slips away and remarks "It's scary when girls fight."

It's not a jab, it's more like an observation. He sees an element of Usagi and Rei's very unique dynamic and assumes it applies to *all* girls. He doesn't have much info to draw from and is currently constructing his idea about how girls function based of off the sailor senshi. It also shows how he takes things at face value, because he instantly accepts his first interpretation of the situation and doesn't think much further into it.

-Another example is when Zoisite managed to trick him by pretending to surrender, and Mamoru just trusted him!😭

-Even though he's a teenager, he doesn't understand dating at all, and doesn't know what the appeal of it is. When dating Usagi he tries to be romantic by emulating things he saw on TV and acts very odd. Because of all of his responsibilities, he probably never had many opportunities to bond with his peers. Dude has no clue what partners do together, what he's supposed to be feeling, or much of anything really! he also gets confused by girls liking him and doesn't catch on to their advances most of the time..

-His expressions are very subtle or could even be described as blank. Difficulty with facial expressions are a common characteristic of neglect. (Lots of fans think he's cold because of this.😢 he's not!! he just has a rough time okay??😢😢)

-He has a hard time asking for help. It doesn't even usually occur to him as an option. He's so used to solving everything himself, asking somebody else seems unthinkable

-When he's walking down the street with a shoulder wound, and Usagi shows concern about it, it doesn't even register! He gets annoyed by her following him and asks her why. She answers that she was worried. "About me?" he asks, despite there being no one else in the alleyway. He's completely baffled. It's never occurred to him that someone may care about his well being.

-He's very shy and usually plays social interactions safe by not talking much. Sometimes this actually has the effect of making the conversation awkward. (That time in SuperS where he has guests over and just sits there while usagi and chibiusa argue over who his real girlfriend is. he doesn't intervene even when it makes the guests uncomfortable)

-HE'S SUCH A PEOPLE PLEASER. i don't think i have to explain this one, but he dated rei for a while despite really disliking it because he didn't want to hurt her feelings!! and that time he apologized to usagi for not knowing her birthday and scrambled to get her a gift even after she hit him and embarrassed him in public. he wasn't mad for a second. he thought he must be in the wrong!! (he doesn't value himself as much as he should😢)

-he struggles to be vulnerable, even in small, mundane ways.

-when pressed, he has a tendency to shut down, using submissive body language and avoiding eye contact. (like when mercury cornered him and tried to force him to be direct with her. (he ended up running away))

-he is VERY selfless. in Transylvania no mori, he's stabbed and is dying. he focuses all his remaining energy on comforting Usagi and making sure she knows it's not her fault, when he should probably be focusing on survival. he clearly wants to take care of others, which is good, but he has too little concern for himself!! he wasn't taught he had value

-he can act prickly (probably out of fear/defense mechanism)

-he doesn't set boundaries!!! the closest he usually comes is ignoring the person causing him problems😭😭😭😭

i don't know where i'm going with this but developmental psychology is one of my special interests,, also i think usagi is so good for him because she unconditionally loves him and accepts him where he's at instead of expecting him to be more mature or something!! and you help people with delays grow by meeting them where they're at and nurturing whatever needs they have instead of questioning or criticizing them!! she teaches mamoru to value himself and can teach him the things he didn't learn!! she had a really safe and loving family and a stable childhood and she can use the benefits her secure life gave her to help him!!!!!! :,,,,DDDDDD

(people always think usagi is the fragile one, and mamoru ought to protect her better, but she's really the strong one of the two!! she had the safe childhood. mamoru is a bit (emotionally) frail from his hard life :,,>)

mamoru is so grateful to her for loving him, he gives her his 100000000% and takes care of her with everything in him!!!

#unhinged rambling #mamoru chiba #usamamo #tuxedo mask #angst #im love him tho #i love characters with developmental problems #cw mental health #i guess.. #im being unhinged but i think im also right

[suckishima]

rrrrrrrrr im so frustrated with my writing. its just been weeks of struggle and whyyyy. idk i think i need to rework or rethink what im going for with this one or something, its like i can feel the threads of the themes i wanna do are sooo close to tying together but it just isnt quite reaching yet and so it reads like a stilted bland mess but the more i stare at it the further away it feels aaah

i know it can get there i kNOW it can, the ending and like aha moment is so cleaaaar that i think its almost too solid and thats why my beginning feels so fucked—like i just keep asking myself 'well if hes gonna get there in chapter 5, whats stopping him from getting there now in chapter 2??' i tHOUGHT i had reasons but now that im there i just keep instinctually writing him to have the connecting/realization moment anyway and like. if that's how it is then what even IS the story??? i need a break

#leaving for my parents for christmas tomorrow and while its always a little lowkey stressful there esp during holidays #itll be nice to at least have a different stress than this one for a few days lmao #mandatory writing break coming at a good time ig #anyway a lot of the real problem is that a big reason i wanted to write this fic is bc i wanted to explore tsukkis mental space during #the ball boy arc bc i feel like its an interesting transitional time for him in terms of like being after his big moment but then #he slightly regresses in that post match bathroom scene until yamaguchi sets him straight and like. i love just how furudate is showing #that growth isnt linear and so i wanna explore how tsukki would feel during the camp (which he didnt seem stoked to go to) #and in contrast with hinata who couldnt go but weasels in anyway and like how does tsukki deal with #that intensity of stupidity and passion in regards to how he feels about his own relationship to volleyball now #like i dont think its a straight line from blocking ushijima -> admitting yeah sometimes volleyball is fun #i think theres some wavering in there and oooo i wanna explore it but FUCK its hard?? #why furudate why does tsukki deny extra practice the first night of rookie camp but accepts the second night?? #i know why he accepts night 2 im excited abt that. i'm big time struggling with pinpointing why he says no night 1 in a way #that doesnt come off like 1 hes fully regressing 2 like im having him say no purely bc thats how it is in canon so magical ~plot reasons~ #truthfully furudates reason is probably just 'was funny to have tsukki and kunimi say no in unison' and it isnt out of character for #tsukki to say no either but i also can feeeel it i can feeel the threads of a solid character developmental reason that will fit with #all the OTHER stuff im also trying to do lmao #i just need to piece it together in the right way in the right order and right emphasis #and its so cloooose rn but ugh it just feels wishwashy atm #and so. i struggle lmao #eesh anyway fun tag rant yay #heres to hoping not thinking about this for a week will help #x #....who wants to take bets on whether ill delete this later lol

[dduane]

Do you have any recommendations on what to do when you can’t write?

I’ve been struggling to write for years, but telling stories is all I want to do. I have ideas and plots and characters all figured out! But actually getting the words onto paper? I just can’t do it. There’s a mental block or something getting in the way.

I want to write, I so badly do. I want to tell my stories! But no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I love the story, the words never work properly. I can day dream scenes up perfectly, but as soon as I’m near paper the words all vanish.

I guess what I’m actually asking is: how did you defeat the blank page?

Well, first of all, I can confidently tell you that your storytelling per se is working just fine. You just told me a perfectly cogent story right there, in writing. So that's good to know.

Now let me put your mind a little at rest by telling you something reassuring about the Writer's Brain:

It's not the sharpest knife in the block, if you take my meaning. It can be tricked. It can be fooled. It can be bamboozled into working when it doesn't want to... sometimes with embarrassing ease. (And this approach is, by and large, far preferable to sitting around over-analyzing one's interior life to figure out what went wrong with your developmental process somewhere in the dim lost past. Just hornswoggle the silly thing into working and then do the analysis later, if you can be bothered.)

Sometimes just changing something basic in the process the Writer's Brain is expecting is enough to make it lose the plot (so to speak...) and let you get on with work. And in your case I'd say, more or less immediately: Have you tried telling the story to yourself out loud, recording it, and then transcribing the recording?

Because this problem is a commonplace among storytellers. Sit them down in the pub and give them tea or a drink and start them going, and you'll get half an effortless hour of hilarious prose about What The Cat Did In The Middle Of The Night or When The Neighbors Were Fighting In The Street Again Yesterday. But show them blank paper, or an empty screen, and (now that the pressure to perform is suddenly in place) they freeze.

So try doing an end run around your writing brain. Borrow or otherwise procure a little recorder of some kind. (Or if you've got a smartphone, add a voice recording app to it.) Go get comfortable somewhere and get yourself into that daydream state, and then—making sure the recorder's on—start talking.

It doesn't have to be perfect unblemished prose. The pursuit of that comes later, after draft zero-minus-one. Just tell the story... or some of it. Or a fragment of it. Even a few paragraphs is a triumph, in a situation like this. You may, during the recording, have to talk yourself into the story stage by starting out talking about something else first. Let that happen.

Then when you're done recording, listen to it and transcribe it (typed or handwritten, as you please).

And maybe a day later, do this again. And a day or two later, once more. And so forth.

You're going to have to keep at this, because your Writer's Brain may start suspecting what you're up to, and try throwing spanners into the works. (Its favorite being "Oh, this isn't working, I may as well give up..." Pay no attention to that nagging little voice behind the curtain. Just keep doing what you're doing. Persistence is a superpower.)

The thing to keep reminding yourself, as you settle into this process, is that sooner or later the WB's resistance is going to flag, because you really do want to tell stories. It does too. What you have to teach it is that—to coin a phrase—resistance is useless. :)

Anyway: give this a try. You'll need to be doing this daily for at least a couple of months to find out whether it works or not. So let me know how it goes.

(BTW: once you've broken through the barrier, you may well find that dictation is a good routine way for you to generate your first draft. At that point—should you feel inclined to go a little higher-tech than recording and hand transcription—let me recommend Dragon Anywhere. This is a month-to-month subscription version of Dragon's flagship text to speech program—the one @petermorwood and I got Terry Pratchett to use when he started having difficulty typing. I use Anywhere a lot, on days when it's easier to write stretched out or lying down than it is sitting up. It transcribes what you say, and then you can just email it to yourself and cut-and-paste it into your writing document. Very handy.)

Hope this helps!

#writing #writing advice #the Writer's Brain #storytelling

[exaltior-a]

Personally the amount of people who are either "Jake is a stupid himbo" or "Jake is actively malicious" blow my mind. No, Jake isn't stupid, and he's not evil. He's a sixteen year old who is implied to have a mental disability and/or brain damage (it's not exactly clear, Caliborn claims they have the same developmental disorder and Dirk iirc worries that Jake hit his head too much, I guess you can take either with a grain of salt but I digress), and has not had meaningful real life interactions with other human beings in years. He is in the wrong for his actions, but it feels. Purposefully ignorant to claim he's just stupid or just evil for them.

He's socially stunted. He wants to emulate heroes in movies but lacks self esteem and experience. If the alpha kids had enough time to be more fleshed out (and let's be real, if Hussie cared about Jake) this might have been explored more thoroughly. He'd never had the opportunity to learn how to cope with a relationship, how to communicate his needs, or understand that he can't control how other people perceive him like he can through a computer screen.

He doesn't know healthy boundaries because he's never had to use them, and this goes both ways (allowing his friends to sexualise him and treat him like an object, as well as constantly complaining about his relationship with Dirk to Jane) Like yeah he does run away instead of communicating with Dirk and yeah he does dump all his problems on Jane. I love Jane, but one of her problems is her bottling up her feelings and people pleasing until everything blows up. She should have told him off much sooner, and while he was being a dick, it was partly because she allowed him to feel like it was okay to do, since she never told him it wasn't after the first few times or when she was starting to get aggravated.

His problems with Dirk are a little more complicated because we're never actually shown their relationship or how it broke down, but from what we can gather, Jake felt overwhelmed by Dirk's intensity and decided to ignore him rather than tell him try and avoid confrontation but leading to Dirk being frustrated and breaking up with him. Dirk claims he feels like he bullied Jake into a relationship, and though I personally think that's him making it seem worse than it was, it does mean that Dirk probably was trying to go too fast. I've best heard it is Jake being an introvert pretending to be an extrovert.

This is not to say I don't think people can't dislike or even hate Jake, but it's like. Idk. Misinterpreting a character and disliking that version of them is a little redundant to me.

#homestuck #dirkjake #jake english #dirk strider #jane crocker #character meta #homestuck meta #this is kind of in response to those people in the “worst homestuck character” tourney lol #the notes on those posts are atrocious especially the ones about the alpha kids. especially roxy #god if you think roxy is a perfect sngel i assume you haven't read the comic #btw im not mad at the person running the polls or whatever for that they seem fairly chill #its just that homestuck fans are sometimes stupid #and lack reading comprehension and critical analysis #long post #ummm jake dislikers ur fine but please. be correct about him if you're going to not like him #ok bye lol

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Something I never hear anyone talk about in the 'why are Young Adults (late teens to early 30s) reading so much Young Adult (teens) fiction These Days' discussion is how surprisingly difficult it can be to transition from kids books to adult fiction.

And I don't mean in terms of content. Forget themes, characters, plots, etc. I'm talking pure practicality.

As a kid, most of the books you read are calibrated to you exactly. Your local library likely has a 'children's' section, and that section is likely split into smaller sub-sections based on age group. 0-5, 5-8, 8-12, teen. A lot of your interests and experiences are pretty easy to guess at based on average developmental stages (eg. most 16-18 year olds will relate to Coming Of Age stories), so it's probably pretty easy for you to walk into a bookshop or library and find a book aimed at you specifically.

But get to 18 (or younger) and start straying into the 'adult' section, and suddenly nothing is calibrated anymore. When people complain that all 'grownup fiction' is about white middle class heterosexual couples going through angsty divorces in their mid-forties, this is what they're complaining about. They can't find books they can personally relate to, or that are about topics that they are interested in.

And yeah, sure, books shouldn't have to be relatable to be good or enjoyable. But there's also nothing wrong with wanting to read a book about young people, when you're young. Or queer people, if you're queer. Or people from your particular culture, religion, or ethnicity.

Even if we ignore the relatability aspect entirely, there's also nothing wrong with wanting to read a fantasy book that isn't just 'Tolkien but drearier' or a sci-fi that wasn't written by some guy in the 1960s who thought that women were just another kind of alien.

The problem is, fundamentally, that finding the books you like amid the haystack is a skill that most people are not being taught.

As a result, when they get past YA and try using the old tricks of just picking up whatever is on the bestseller list at the moment, or whatever their local library is currently touting as their 'book of the week', they frequently end up with something that isn't suited to their tastes.

And maybe they love it and it opens up a whole new genre that they'd never considered, but more often they hate it but feel obliged to slog through because this is a 'grownup book' and they have decided they want to be a 'grownup reader'.

A few times being burned like this, and they come to the conclusion that all adult fiction is boring, and that the people who read it are all either mature geniuses of the type they could only hope to be, or slogging through like they were and only pretending to like it.

Thus they run back to the familiarity of YA—which is fine, to be clear, there's nothing actually wrong with reading YA as an adult— but there's every chance that somewhere on the bookshelves is a potential favourite author of theirs that they will now never know because they were never taught how to find them.

#fiction #ya books #ya fiction #adult fiction #reading #ya discourse #genuinely i am 22 and i STILL struggle to find books i like #in ways that i never did when i was a teenager #i'm getting better at it

[bbcphile]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook and Complex PTSD Representations: Part I

One of my favorite things about Mysterious Lotus Casebook is how surprisingly nuanced and unusual its portrayal of complex PTSD is. So many shows either introduce character trauma to make the character Sad and Brooding, Angry and Violent (if they’re a villain) or Hesitant to Start a Relationship (if it’s a romance), and that’s usually as in-depth as it gets. If they address the unique after effects of child abuse that lead to complex PTSD at all, it’s usually either explain why a character is a homicidal monster (which is all sorts of problematic) or it’s limited to a single phobia, which can be overcome by the Power of Love, or it’s just something that crops up occasionally for Plot and then forgotten about the rest of the time. 

Mysterious Lotus Casebook gives us two deeply traumatized characters–Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng–who each have clear symptoms of complex PTSD, and yet, their cPTSD manifests completely differently because of the types of traumas that caused it and their relationships to the people causing the traumas. And their manifestations of cPTSD affect just about every level of their being, including their sense of self, their decision-making, and their relationships with others, and it includes some of the incredibly important manifestations of cPTSD that are almost never shown in media while avoiding the most insulting stereotypes! 

PTSD vs cPTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder caused by experiencing a single (or short lived) traumatic event (an accident, assault, medical emergency, fighting in a war, etc), where the symptoms last for longer than a month. Symptoms include things like reexperiencing the event (flashbacks), avoidance (of things related to the event), changes in mood (depression, anger, fear, etc), and issues with emotional regulation (hypervigilance–being constantly on the lookout for threats–irritability/angry outbursts, etc.).

Complex PTSD happens if someone has experienced long term, chronic/repeated trauma that induces hopelessness and no chance of escape (survivors of extended child abuse, human trafficking, domestic violence, prisoners of war, slavery, etc.). It’s also often interpersonal in ways a car crash or medical emergency is not, and is particularly linked with chronic trauma during childhood: chronic stress hormones introduce literal physical changes in a growing brain, particularly the amygdala (which processes fear), hippocampus (which is responsible for learning/memory), and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for executive function), so it can affect every aspect of life and also affect a child’s progression through developmental stages. In addition to these physical changes to the brain, the prolonged trauma–particularly the helplessness–distorts a child’s sense of self, the perpetrator, and the world in ways that alter their decision making, their memory, and their future relationships. 

For instance, whereas a traumatic event that caused PTSD might make you depressed or not trust the person who harmed you (or to fear driving), the trauma from cPTSD might make you suicidal, blame yourself for your victimization, decide to isolate to avoid interpersonal relationships to keep from getting hurt, or become obsessed with never being harmed again.

Basically, cPTSD has the core symptoms from PTSD with some extra challenges, including issues with emotional regulation, self-concept, interruptions in consciousness, difficulties with relationships, perceptions of the perpetrator, and systems of meaning.

DFS and LLH: CPTSD Symptoms

There’s so much more to say about this than I can cover in this superficial introduction, so this will be the first of a series of metas; I’m hoping to go into more depth about some of these categories in future posts (the DFS and emotional regulation/violence one is already drafted, so stay tuned). 

Difficulties with Relationships (problems with trust, communication, missing red flags): Both DFS and LLH have a history of trusting the wrong people and not trusting the right people, both in the past and in the present of the show: in the past, LLH missed the fact that SGD hated him and DFS missed the fact that JLQ was obsessed with him, and as a result, both sects were destroyed, many people died, and the two almost destroyed each other. If they had communicated with each other instead of fighting at the donghai battle, they might have realized they were being set up and could have worked together, but their difficulties with trust after perceived betrayal made that impossible for them. They both have a history of overlooking red flags in the present–DFS in particular, keeping the red-flag-personified-JLQ around despite her history of poisoning people, including himself–and they both tend to struggle with relationships in the present: LLH runs away from and/or drugs the people who care about him, and DFS sends endless mixed messages by not telling Li Lianhua most of his plans to help him. 

Self-Concept (Self-hatred and self-fragmentation): Li Lianhua is basically the poster child for having a negative self concept: he has an overdeveloped sense of self-blame and responsibility, even believing he deserves to die for leading his men to their deaths, and once he learns he was manipulated and SGD was behind it all, he seems to think it’s his own fault that he was manipulated, lied to, and abused. His self-loathing is so extreme that he imagines his earlier self, Li Xiangyi, to have died, and tries as much as possible to be nothing like that earlier persona. His repeated insistence that Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are NOT the same person is reminiscent of the fragmentary sense of self that comes with more extreme trauma, like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other-Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), where traumatic experiences are so painful that people form different alters, or differentiated self-states, that can have different names and skills and memories and identities. 

Di Feisheng doesn’t have the self-hatred or guilt that LLH does, and it seems like he tries to skip over questions of self worth, blame, or hatred by focusing exclusively on staying true to his code of ethics he’s developed for himself and focusing on gaining the strength necessary to fight for his freedom from mind control and the Di Fortress. But even though he’s kept his Di name, kept his goals the same since escaping Di Fortress, and hasn’t tried to separate himself from his trauma the way LLH did with LXY, he’s even more willing than LLH to take on different identities: it’s literally one of his martial arts skills. The Bone Constriction Skill lets him become someone else for a time, whether that’s a child or Shi Hun. It fits well with his willingness to be whoever he needs to be to accomplish his goals: he’s perfectly willing to be seen as a heartless villain if it lets him protect LLH, and he’s willing to flirt with and pretend to be jealous of JLQ to get information from her, and he’s willing to be LLH’s a-Fei, both with and without his memories.

Interruptions in Consciousness (Amnesia and nightmares for Everyone): LLH and DFS both have nightmares and flashbacks/memories of traumatic events, and as mentioned above, both have interesting hints of having fragmented/fluid senses of self. They both also dissociate, or separate themselves from the present when dealing with traumatic things:  LLH spaces out and gets stuck in his past memories about SGD when talking to FDB after burying SGD, and DFS dissociates from physical pain so as not to make noise both after he’s been stabbed and poisoned with Wuxin Huai and again when JLQ is torturing him in her water dungeon.

They both also have dissociative amnesia that takes away trauma memories, although one is from a poisonous incense plus the magic of qi macgyvering:  LLH forgot the existence of his older brother who died in front of him, and DFS as a-Fei had just about all of his memories (except a few of killing as a child) taken away. Amnesia is a huge part of cPTSD, because it’s the brain’s way of trying to protect you from truths that you might not survive. It can manifest as blocking out one single traumatic event, a bunch of thematically or temporally linked traumatic events, a skill set related to the trauma, or, in the case of something like DID or OSDD, just about everything. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that the show gives us one example of definite traumatic amnesia through LLH, and then seems to almost transform the experience of having DID and being a new part and finding yourself with a new name and very little else into an exaggerated fantasy setting (interestingly, people often report experiencing debilitating headaches when they try to regain memories behind the amnesia barrier). I doubt this is what they were actually going for, since DID is almost universally portrayed incorrectly and offensively in media (one of the alters is almost always portrayed as a serial killer, but that’s a rant for another day), but the different names and the presence of amnesia with LLH made it a fascinating enough parallel that I had to mention it.

 Problems with Emotional Regulation (Lashing in vs. lashing out): Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are polar opposites when it comes to struggles with emotional regulation: whereas LXY turns his anger inward, directing it all toward self-hate in what’s often called a “toxic shame spiral,” both after the donghai battle and after he finds out about SGD’s role in his shifu’s death, DFS lashes out physically at those who have harmed him, usually via choking people, although he is usually exerting an impressive amount of control over his emotions and strength. To put in perspective just how different their emotional strategies are and how much effort DFS puts into emotional regulation, compare how much more calm he is than LLH during any revelation of past betrayal or painful information, any scene where they confront the people who have abused them, or any scene where they learn they’ve been wrong about something big; LLH is most likely having an emotional flashback (re-experiencing the emotions from the earlier traumas) and DFS is probably compartmentalizing them or dissociating from them to process later/never so he can stay semi-functional and not show a potential opponent a weak spot. 

NOTE: This means that DFS is loooong overdue for a very dramatic breakdown when it eventually all catches up to him and he can’t distract himself from it anymore.

Perceptions of Perpetrators: In this way only, Di Feisheng has one advantage: he knows the head of Di Fortress is a cruel, abusive tyrant. While he clearly still fears him, even as a physically strong adult (he has nightmares, flashbacks, and dedicates his life to being free from him, which means he still to some extent feels young, small, and helpless when he thinks of him), DFS knows that he hates him and wants to be free of him. This is probably part of why he’s spared some of the self-hatred LLH experiences: he knows he didn’t deserve the abuse because seeing it happen to other children means he knows the abuse wasn’t a personal reflection on him. It does, however, motivate him to want to be stronger and invulnerable so as to never be helpless again, and that obsession is what drives him to have a single-minded focus on reaching the pinnacle of the jianghu.  

It’s so much more complicated for Li Lianhua (and for a more detailed analysis, check out this meta): the childhood perpetrators were manifold–a slew of bandits, whichever children and adults on the street would abuse him for existing and being poor–it probably felt like life itself was to blame. It’s no wonder that when his shifu and shiniang took him in, they were the ultimate rescuers whom he hero-worshipped, so when he felt he made a mistake and his life fell apart, he blamed himself: at least there would be someone to blame that way and something he could do about it (try to kill his past self and hate everything about him). It’s also very telling that LLH doesn’t blame JLQ or YBQ all that much when he learns they poisoned him, and that he’s more angry that SGD murdered their shifu than he is that SGD set him up, hated him, and was the real mastermind behind everything he had blamed himself for; he struggles to stay angry at people who harm him, and would rather blame and hate himself for being tricked than hate the person who tricked him. So, whereas DFS tries to destroy the people who abused him, LLH tries to destroy himself.

If you read this far, thanks! I’m probably going to be posting the DFS and emotional regulation/violence against perpetrator meta next, because it’s drafted, but if there are any of these you desperately want me to talk about more sooner rather than later, let me know! :D 

#mysterious lotus casebook #mlc meta #di feisheng #li lianhua #Li Xiangyi #complex PTSD #child abuse #sorry it's so long! This is the short version #The original version was 2700 words #dissociation #trauma #I am so here for non-monolithic representations of mental illnesses #PTSD #In case you can't tell I am very invested in depictions of PTSD and cPTSD #I'm always up for talking about fictional portrayals of trauma #so feel free to message if you have questions about any of this and don't want it to be in the notes for some reason

[bonefall]

Since the ask box commands to vote Bumble in that tourament (which I did, cuz she was SCREWED over to the extreme) could you talk a whole lot about BB!Bumble's dyspraxia? Since we are talking about the *everything in canon* she got for the High Crime of being a fat foreigner woman and abuse victm in warrior cats, let's talk about the universe where we add disabled to her list of High Crimes but she isnt done dirty as balls(sorry if all this is worded weird)

Plus, I'm personally having issues writing a dyspraxic character (mostly because i kinda suck at absorbing information about things like disability when not using characters as exemples) and you've really helped me in the past with making characters with BPD, so it would be personally useful in character making

(Sorry if I'm rude, I deeply respect your work and it greatly inspires me, especially Clanmew)

All righty! BB!Bumble's dyspraxia!

First off, for newcomers;

WHY I ADDED DYSPRAXIA TO BUMBLE

In canon, Bumble is called a fat, useless kittypet, before being dragged back to her domestic abuser. She then dies while trying to survive on her own, starved to the point of emaciation before Clear Sky murders her.

A very common fandom response to this is essentially, "shes NOT useless! She could hunt/fight if you taught her!" And a lot of AUs will have her survive, learning how to be Truly Useful with all the same skills as everyone else.

I won't lie; I think that's very disappointing.

You're not refuting the rotten heart of this ideology, you're just doing what DOTC already does with Jagged Peak. You're AGREEING. You're saying she WOULD be useless if she couldn't hunt or fight like a wild cat, giving her Coolgirl Badass moments to haha embarass her bigots, and Actually the only problem here is that they didn't give her a chance.

What if they GAVE her that chance, and she COULDN'T hunt or fight like them? Would it be okay to send the battered housewife back to her domestic abuser? Hopefully fucking not!

Let's be frank; None of the groups in DOTC are starving. Not even after the prey sickness pandemic.

"Starvation Rhetoric" is an excuse, only ever rolled out by monsters like Clear Sky as justification for stealing land, murder, and throwing out cats the groups deem unworthy of life.

Yet, this gets rolled out for Bumble specifically, by the MOOR CATS, who are supposed to be opposing his ideology.

And that's where I'm starting from.

Okay. What if she couldn't perform physically like other cats?

What if she was part of a group that DID have real concerns about not having enough food?

How does Bumble herself cope with her feelings, and her desire to help her friends and contribute to a group that loves her?

Let's go through all that, and attack the heart of the idea. In fact, we're going to be doing a lot of it, with a significant portion of early ThunderClan being disabled cats.

(Thunder Storm has three legs. Bright Storm has asthma. Sunlit Frost loses the use of both front paws and ends up with chronic pain.)

Bumble's Dyspraxia

The first thing to know about dyspraxia (or DCD, Developmental Coordination Disorder) is that it comes in a LOT of different forms. The next thing to know is that it's RIDICULOUSLY common. Some estimates say 5% of the population has it-- 1 in 20 people.

It's heavily associated with autism and ADHD. The "classic" symptoms are general clumsiness and motor control issues, like having a hard time tying shoes. But these are also symptoms of dyspraxia;

Short-term memory issues, but not long-term

Being constantly covered in bumps and bruises

Having a hard time telling lefts and rights

Difficulties holding pencils or writing in general

"Wobbliness" including tripping mid-step or tripping over your own feet

Issues in the acquisition of "muscle memories," being slow to acquire physical skills.

Stuttering and taking long pauses before responding to someone else speaking

Most dyspraxics won't have all of these, these are symptoms. Not a checklist.

My partner describes theirs as like "constantly working with cold hands through a layer of gloves." The stiffness of being in a freezer, paired with the general delay of having a cover over your skin.

Mine is more focused on the mental side, acquiring new skills is unnaturally difficult, my reaction time is delayed, and I stumble into things.

Every person with dyspraxia is different, but what links us is that we're uncoordinated. We can't help it, telling us to try harder or pay more attention doesn't work. We aren't being careless-- our brains don't send signals to our bodies properly.

I'm basing Bumble's off my own. Her mate, Turtle Heart, shows her over and over how to hunt. It never sticks. She tries to pick up battle moves from Thunder Storm to help defend herself from Clear Sky's goons. It doesn't work.

She's really trying, she really is. The Moor group quickly loses patience with her, and Bumble is well aware that she's only tolerated on Turtle Heart's vouch. Her worst fears come true when Tom steals their children, and her mate is killed trying to retreive them.

That messes with her, and makes her believe that she really is worthless and a burden.

ThunderClan was FOUNDED on Thunder Storm's fury, breaking off his supporters to retreive her from exile, and Bumble's struggle with self-worth begins in earnest.

There's one thing she's confident about, and really loves. Bumble is trilingual, outgoing, and confident in her ability to talk to others. That's what she can add, and what she wants to do.

ThunderClan is different. It works with every strength and weakness of its members, and values diplomacy to keep it afloat against the odds. Bumble really is needed, but eventually even her translation work becomes less special as more kits grow up bilingual. Eventually, this too feels taken from her.

And then it's back to square one. Her mate is gone, one of her kits betrayed her, Owl Eyes is a big strong man who doesn't need his mum anymore. She's left with her fumbling paws, taking more from the pile than she puts in.

One can only hope she realizes that ThunderClan was born out of love for her. That it was never about what she could add. She didn't have to confront it in the main story because so much was happening, but as peace settles over the forest, it's time for her to start to unpack that idea.

#better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Bumble

[stesierra]

Writeblr ReIntro!

I'm posting a new intro because now that I've been on Writeblr a little while, I realize how much information I left out! Hi, I'm Stephanie, I live in the desert with my husband and baby and three cats, and I'm an ace, bipolar fantasy writer! When I was a kid, they said I had ADHD but then I got my Masters degree in biology, so they claim I can't have it. Online tests say I'm probably autistic.

I used to write sci fi twelve years ago but only low tech sci fi about weird aliens, which nobody likes. Now I write fantasy novels! Lots of fantasy novels! I am beginning to post them on my website so if you want to read them, please keep an eye on this post.

My books often but not always have some romance (either m/f or f/f because I prefer female protagonists.) Since I'm ace (and demiromantic), my interpretation of romance and attraction is not exactly what you'd expect from, say, a romance novel.

I am not going to tell you about all my books! I've written eighteen! Four of them are shelved forever! Here's some recent ones (written or revised since 2018) that I haven't given up on. Please ask me questions about them! I LOVE talking about my books! Also, if you want to be added to my taglist for writing samples let me know! Please also tell me if you're interested in alpha or beta reading and for which book! Mutuals only, please!

My books are beneath the cut! As I add WIP intros, I'll update this list with links.

Cast Out

YA fantasy! On her sixteenth birthday, Zisha is cast out of the Plenary Cities for the crime of being born deaf, like her grandmother before her. In the wastelands, she meets Thesil, a depressed and bitter young woman. Zisha wants nothing to do with her — until she sees Thesil's face in a vision. But before she can find out what the visions mean or reach her grandmother's holdings in the wastes, the plague returns to the Plenary Cities. If the disabled really caused the plague thirty years ago, and were cast out to stop the spread, how can it be back when all of them are outcast?

Status: Finished. Being serialized.

WIP intro here.

Now being serialized here. First five chapters up, one posted weekly.

The Bone Queen

This is my NA fantasy about the aftermath of freeing an undead queen and her skeleton army. They take over the kingdom, of course! The main character, Elise, is trapped in Bandrum palace by Aubrey, the ghost who tricked her into falling in love and freeing him (plus everyone else.) He's an animated skeleton now with plans to marry Elise and force her to carry his children. The bone queen has promised him she'll make it happen. Too bad no one cares what Elise wants. If only she had magic of her own...

Status: undergoing a rewrite after developmental edit. Was 109k before revisions. Not available for beta reading.

Draft number? Hahahaha. It has two complete sequels (The Spellbound King (106k) and The Matriarch's Daughter (96k)) I must also rewrite. This series is going to kill me but I love it. My mom, who loves everything I write, complained that it was weird. I'm very proud.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

School of Souls

This is my YA contemporary fantasy about a boarding school in the Bighorn Mountains! It's supposed to be a place parents can send "bad" teens to have their problems sorted out, but secretly the founder is using it to train the kids as sorcerers. Even more secretly, the school devours the souls of the students sent there, and the teenagers who graduate aren't the same as the ones who arrived... Warning: does include teenage addiction to sleeping pills and ghosts and and parental death. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. Available for alpha reading.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

The Many-faced Princess

This is YA fantasy with a historical vibe but set in a made up world. Vaguely inspired by ancient Phoenicia. It's about Princess Ameryi, who was blessed by the genderless trickster god, Akihel, to be able to change her face. If her father the king ever found out, he'd have to execute her, of course. Akihel is just plain evil. All the other gods say so. A daughter who's their champion? Impossible. An abomination. So Ameryi will just have to make sure her father never finds out. That was easier to do before the Asirtinsa Empire threatened to invade and her father sent her to secure an alliance with a neighboring king. She's supposed to marry him. Not steal his face and frame him for murder. But sometimes plans just don't work out.

This book was supposed to be about two lesbian princesses who frame the king for murder so they can elope, but both princesses decided to be ace and there was nothing I could do.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Map here.

Court Phoenix

This is my NA fantasy! Kerra is a blacksmith's apprentice. Not because she wants the job, but because her mother sold her future to him when she was still a toddler who crawled into live fires and giggled as the flames consumed her clothes. Now she's a woman, trapped by the expectations of her family and her village. Until one day, a phoenix crash-lands and dies in her arms. When it's reborn, it chooses Kerra as its keeper. Soon, her dreary future is swept away. A princess from Skyfire, the moving city, offers her a job in the royal court. How could Kerra refuse? Her family's claims that she'll die if she ever leaves the village are just manipulative lies. Aren't they?

Status: Complete third draft. 104k. Available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

The Revenant Trilogy

Adult fantasy. Solving a murder should bring good fortune, but all it brings Mindral Thideet is disaster. Her fame and peaceful life as head researcher at the city of knowledge end abruptly. In retaliation for her investigation into his crimes, Payar Cheref, the head of the powerful Cheref family, burns her beloved cousins alive and scars her face. The scar marks her as a revenant, a body possessed by a godkin, one of the gods' evil children. Her life as a researcher is over. All that's left is revenge.

No one believes her when she denies that godkins have any power over her. But godkins, real ones, are far closer than she realizes. Tearing down Payar Cheref could destroy Mindral, her family, and the nation itself.

-The Halfway Revenant (rewriting draft 4) 120k. Not available for beta reading.

-The Soul-Seer (draft 2) - 130k

-The Godkin's Gambit (draft 2) 121k

First chapter here.

As Immortality Fades

Adult fantasy. Five hundred years ago, one of the immortal and unpredictable Valteifur visited the kingdom of Kathild and granted the young queen Nelone immortality. But there was a catch. She'd live forever, youthful and strong, just so long as her subjects were happy. For centuries, she's met her part of the deal. But when the Valteifur returns to check on her progress, he grants her a new gift: the resurrection of every single person in Kathild who's died in the last two hundred years. Then he disappears.

There aren't enough houses for them all. There's not enough food. And winter is here.

Status: Complete first draft. 98k. Available for alpha reading.

Bi MC, enemies to lovers.

First chapter here.

Stitches and Memories

This one's adult fantasy. Antea's father ripped her mind apart, left her for dead, and vanished twelve years ago, and she's going to find out why. But when constables try to kill her and strange truth magic grows inside of her, hunting her father starts to look like suicide. Too bad going home isn't an option.

Status: I exchanged this with a critique partner and now it embarrasses me. Fourth draft. 122k. Available for beta reading.

Trigger warning: magic seizures

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

Triangle Park

Contemporary Fantasy. I have no idea who it's for. An elf exiled to the middle of nowhere ends up stuck with an unexpected child. It's about reluctant parenting and protecting the needy. And elves and faeries slumming it in a mobile home.

Status: Complete first draft. 86k. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Mud-Child

Adult fantasy. Rebeka has always heard that a woman who goes through menopause loses her spark (the magic that lets her create children). If she's had children, it just makes the neighbors a little more fertile. But Rebeka never wanted a man, and she never wanted to raise a child. Not since her twin sister died and her beloved Suza left her for a man. The problem is, the spark leaves a childless woman differently, everyone says. A bitter hag? She'll curse her neighbors. A sweet dim biddie? She'll give her spark to inanimate objects and create a monster. Rebeka doesn't know which she is, but she believes it's a myth.

That was before the clay in her clay pit woke up and called her mother.

Status: Third draft. 109k. Needs a rewrite! Not available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

I GUESS I'M WRITING A NEW BOOK

The Giant's Gamble

First chapter here.

I started writing this on Friday the 13th, 2023. LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO WRITE WITH A BABY.

Short stories

The Unfamous Dead

VERY OLD CRAP

The Scribe and the Sphinx

Adult historical fantasy

Status: second draft. Shelved for good. 85k.

The Adrift series

The River's Drift. 100k.

The Waking Mountain. 106k.

Low-tech alien sci fi. Shelved for good.

My first book whose name I forget. About 50k. Exists only as a hard copy in my parents' house.

Taglist so far (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Tag list for everything

@harleyacoincidence

@anonymousfoz

@moremysteriesthantragedies

@elizababie

@sm-writes-chaos

@bellascarousel

@the-dragon-chronicler

@teacupsandstarlight

@vorskra

@wrenofthewords

@amostdelectablescribbler

@mysticstarlightduck

@phantommill

@gracewritesbooks

@aziz-reads

@owlsandwich

@symbioticsimplicity

@squarebracket-trick

@koala2all

@rmgrey-author

@atomatowriter

@cheerfulmelancholies

@delusionisaplace

@janec23

@writing-is-a-martial-art

@authortango

Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

For The Many-faced Princess

@deadlyessencewhispers

@serenanymph

The Halfway Revenant

@acertainmoshke

For Stitches and Memories

@space-writes

@acertainmoshke

The Bone Queen

@janec23

@holdmyteaplease

@digital-chance

@thecrookedwriterspath

@tea-and-mercury

@coven-archives

I love you all!

#writeblr intro #oh my god this is long #why did I write so much #why did I do this to myself #writeblr #writing #writing community #creative writing #fantasy #writers of tumblr

[mhevarujta]

I saw for the first time someone claiming that Elain employs 'weaponized incompetence'.

That would entail that Elain is DELIBERATELY trying to not be competent to displace responsibility from herself.

We are talking about the same girl who wanted to ASSUME responsibility of her treatment of Feyre when people were pointing the finger only at Nesta.

The one who took the initiative when the circle was to meat the human queens, offered a meeting place, made the arrangements, even thought of using Graysen's house for the humans to find shelter, and overall always wanted to provide safe spaces to people in different ways.

The one who was kidnapped and yet subverted the 'damsel in distress trope' by grabbing Briar and kicking bloody the hound that was attacking Azriel.

The one who thought she was going crazy and yet started getting better fast from the moment she was given a reasonable explanation for her condition, despite still being unaware of what she was doing.

The one who is a woman of peace and didn't want a knife, yet used it with no hesitation to save her sister and Cassian.

The one who kept trying to not just sit, to help with the gardens, to bake, to learn to offer.

The one who wanted to scry herself and called out Nesta for doing to her exactly what everyone has been doing throughout her life and what this fandom doesn't seem to grasp: Suffocating her and yet judging her for being as she is.

Elain did not CHOOSE to have issues with asserting herself. She is not delighted by it. Her mother tried to raise her to be a pretty doll that she could take advantage of at the marriage market. His father treated her similarly. He was emotionally attached at least, but the way he fussed was not helpful for her to develop her personality. Despite their love for Elain, Nesta and Feyre learned to treat Elain just like their parents did. Even the Night Court has not given her responsibility and have excused her when she didn't want to be excused.

The fandom tried to act as if this is some deficiency rooted in who Elain as a person, but it's something that was forced upon her as if, just because of her kindness, she is fragile and breakable. For people who use (incorrectly) terminology relating to psychology, some fans have no scope or sympathy over how, especially during people's developmental years, personalities are shaped by the way one is being treated.

"ELaiN CouLd HaVe OppOseD ThEM. FeYrE and NEsTa ArE DiFFeReNT".

Nope. Feyre and Nesta are their parents creatures. Feyre supporting the family and making sure they don't starve WAS founded partly on her mother's request. Nesta had become the woman that many initially disliked by being raised on their mother's knee. The problems their upbringing held for each were dealt with throughout their respective arcs with both of them having ALREADY gotten their own novels and they are still not completely free of them despite doing better, because ultimately you can't just completely throw away the way you were raised. Neither of them were like Elain because they weren't treated like Elain was.

I genuinely think there are double standards when it comes to the way Elain's character and her potential are evaluated, and the intentionality that is attributed to what is actually a STRUGGLE for her is a very shallow and short-sighted interpretation of her predicament.

I can't wait for the day her book will make many take a fork and a knife and eat their words.

#elain archeron #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf

[bitchthefuck1]

sorry if you've talked about this before but i really don't like when people are like 'there's no way kaz (or the other crows) is a teenager i had to imagine them as 30yr olds' idk if its because i read the books when i was 15 myself but even now (at 23) i don't really get the argument. i'd love to hear your thoughts on it

I made like a million and one posts about this on my old account back when season 1 came out, but basically yeah. I've always seen them as teenagers, and I think the whole "Leigh only made them teens for it to fit the YA market, they're really in their 20s" is kinda bullshit. Like, so much of where the characters are emotionally is directly tied to their ages and the story and their arcs just wouldn't work the same way of they were older. People will point out ways that they're emotionally immature or inconsistent or arrogant or don't seem to know what they want/how to be in a relationship and it's like. yeah that's cuz they're teenagers. That's not a flaw in the writing that's what being a teenager is like.

It also explains their almost absurd level of "yeah, we can do that" about genuinely impossible-seeming things. That kind of "I'll fight God idgaf" energy is really characteristic of teenagers to me because you're still figuring shit out and therefore don't have a set idea of what things are or are not considered "possible", so you're way more open to big risks and wild ideas.

And I know people always point to their skill levels as what makes this unbelievable, but these are a bunch of people who have been forced to develop a specific skill set at an absurdly young age basically at the expense of anything else. Kids and young people can really master complex things at a level most adults don't have, and are in some ways more suited to it, the problem is that it's almost always at the expense of a lot of other important developmental experiences and needs. We as a society generally agree that putting kids in the position where they specialize really intensely at a young age and neglect everything else is bad, so we don't generally do that, but these are kids who were put in that position on a basically life-or-death level and managed to survive.

That's in part why I'd really like to see soc 3 at some point down the line. Not just because I want more content or whatever, but because once you leave your teens and hit your 20's you're forced to confront all the deficiencies in your childhood and how things that you thought are just in the past are very much lingering and becoming impossible to ignore. It's a really intense place to be in emotionally and it's something I think it would be really fascinating to watch the crows have to navigate, on top of the fact that a lot of them have just achieved lifelong dreams and goals and now have to figure out what they want to do next.

Anyway, that went way longer than I thought it would, so TL;DR the crows are absolutely teenagers and the story is better that way.

#not sure you were looking for a whole essay but here we are #six of crows #soc #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #kanej #wesper #helnik #crooked kingdom #asks

[slayingfiction]

Preliminary Editing

Hi! There are 4 stages of official editing: 1. Developmental/structural editing, 2. Line/stylistic editing, 3. Copy editing, 4. Proofreading. These are tips to do before these stages.

Here are some ways to edit your book as you work from your first to second, third, fourth, etc. draft, before you start officially editing, or better, hiring someone to do it for you.

Start by going through chapter by chapter, and rewriting all the prose you find cringy, or that you don’t find flows well. Cut any information and scenes that you find unnecessary, or that has no value in the story.

Add all the small details you forgot to add, or only thought of after writing the chapter. Every single event in your story should be able to be tracked back to a specific moment that caused the cascading event, and therefore the consequences.

Add or change all details so that the story is cohesive, and there are no plot holes. Your MC has OCD? Make sure the entire story they are exhibiting those symptoms. Your MC has a pet? Make sure you know where they are at all times, and what they are doing, even out of scene.

Change your verbs to ensure you are always using the same conjugations. I usually mix past and present during first drafts. :(

Go over all dialogue to make sure all dialogue is representative of the characters speaking. From personality distinctions, mannerisms, dialects or language barriers.

Add description, the 5 senses, where you feel it should be more descriptive, or find different ways of describing your story, instead of always using the same words or adjectives.

Improve writing by being more concise with your words. Example, remove all “very ****” and get better adjectives or adverbs. Take out ‘very fast’ and replace it with quickly or hastily, rapidly, swiftly, or instantaneously. You can also remove most instances of words like possibly, may, might have, likely, probably. They did or they didn’t, just choose one.

Double check the accuracy of all the information you’ve used. From fighting styles, to when people need their passport, or how your world delivers communication in a technology free world, etc.

Share your work. Beta reader, or alpha reader. It doesn’t matter, get someone to look over it to point out any problems you may not see and then adjust accordingly.

Repeat as necessary until you are ready to do the 4 stages of official editing.

When you have feedback, try not to take it personally, though you almost always will at first. Be proud of yourself for the work you have accomplish, and know that it’s not done, so it’s ok to not be perfect. I promise you, as likely it is that someone doesn’t like your story, it’s just as likely someone will love it. Just find your people.

You don’t need to do all these steps separately, but also don’t do them all at once, or you will likely miss some details. Try to do 2 to 3 full preliminary story edits before the official ones.

Happy Writing :)

#writing tips #story writing #writer #book edit #writer things #writing advice #writing community #writers #tumblr writers #writers on tumblr #writing life

[nightgoodomens]

I read a few of your metas as another Crowley fan and I have to ask you- you don’t seem to like anything about aziraphale at all, like all your crit over his character is really harsh. Why would you ship him with Crowley? I Donno, like he does need to learn some stuff and grow, but you make him sound so utterly toxic that he actually drags Crowley down. The way you describe aziraphale, even I don’t want that guy back with Crowley even if he apologizes. I’m wondering what you are seeing that I’m not? Because I do think they had to spit up, but I thought they both had to learn more respect for each other, not just one way. Like to me, Crowley is just more mature than him developmentally, but he can be condescending to aziraphale about it.

I think it is just the impression you got because I recently reblogged a few posts calling out his behaviour and added a few thoughts. But there are only a few compared to hundreds of posts which are in his and Crowley's favour and make it obvious why I ship them. Plus the fanfictions.

I reblog different theories. I like hearing people's thoughts, whether I agree more or less with them. If someone makes an interesting point, I will reblog, even if I don't fully agree.

And I've been impressed how this fandom is open to talking and theorising, instead of introducing a ban on saying anything bad about any character. They're not supposed to be perfect, that's what makes them interesting. So we can call out the mistakes they make. It doesn't mean we hate them, it means we have eyes and a rational, curious mind.

I always said that I know Aziraphale loves Crowley and there was no maliciousness in his behaviour. No matter his mistakes, he DOES love him. We see plenty of evidence of it. Season 2 is full of his love for Crowley. And how can I not love a character that loves my favourite so much? Besides, Aziraphale is interesting. He has as much depth as Crowley. He is meant to be more irritating out of them two, because Crowley is the rational one that speaks to us more, while Aziraphale, after 6 thousand years, still seems to pick Heaven over Crowley and says really hurtful things. He has not developed as we kind of expected him to have developed by now, I guess. But Aziraphale holds onto the past, it is just part of who he is.

But this is where the theorising begins. Crowley was obvious, his behaviour makes sense, of course he would never go to Heaven. There is nothing to question. But Aziraphale gets all those posts where we wonder what made him do what he did, because we simply don't know.

If what he was saying was what he was actually thinking, then he does deserve a bit of backlash. Because to say those things to Crowley after 6 thousand years was utterly shit. But this is a plotting device. We needed one of them to fuck up to develop the story. To have interesting character development later.

But. Did he fuck up? He was never malicious on purpose, so we know he was not trying to be now. So there are plenty of choices:

He truly believed that Crowley would be happy about this. He could restore him to be an angel, because he felt that Crowley should never have fallen. It's a sort of a sweet and innocent thought that would make sense to me. The problem is that he should have known better, but on the surface it's the thought that matters. Still, the harsh words seemed out of place, considering they moved past being hurtful. Again, not maliciously. He was wrong about the restoration, but I love him for caring so deeply because his thoughts were just that - love.

He knew Metatron was lying and asking him to bring Crowley to Heaven to hurt him. So he quickly started acting over the top, knowing that it will confuse Crowley (it did!), throw him off, then he added a few hurtful things to the mix to ensure he would leave. Except he did not know Crowley will choose the moment to confess and kiss him, so he nearly lost it. Nothing to hate here. Again, pure love.

He genuinely just wants to change Heaven? Except he only opened up to the idea when he was offered to take Crowley with him, so I don't believe he is that passionate about Heaven itself. Or he is, but as long as he has Crowley with him. All these theories show that he loves him but he doesn't fully understand him. Not yet.

Honestly, this is why we keep theorising which theory, out of many, some I haven't even listed, is true. Hell knows maybe we are all wrong.

So with some theories I will say well if this is the case then he has a lot to learn. In others I will screech that he loves him so much.

Here are the only facts though:

Aziraphale loves Crowley.

He said hurtful things to Crowley. Never maliciously. But they still deserve calling out.

If the worst theories are true, then we can say wow, you have a lot to learn and that was toxic. NG said he has a lot to learn, so it is just part of his development. But maybe the theories aren't true?

He does not listen to Crowley. Now, I can be frustrated over him dissing Crowley whenever he is trying to tell him something is wrong or that he is worried, but at the same time I love how much he loves him to the point that he doesn't listen because his only priority is e.g. finally being able to dance with Crowley. Demons outside the bookshop? Shut up, let's dance. I mean it is dumbass, but how can you not love him for how obsessed he is with the love of his life.

He does kick Crowley out whenever Crowley does not agree with him, and that is wrong. And Aziraphale struggles to admit when he is wrong. But, yes, he did dance - even if he seems bitter about it so that's not ideal, is it? That's not a sincere apology. I do believe the way he acts is very Heaven like - My Way or High Way - and he probably does not even realise. But we did see development where he admitted he wants Crowley to help and when he shouts he needs him.

Crowley shouldn't be the one apologising when Aziraphale does not deserve the apology, but this is partly Crowley's mistake too, because he should have said 'listen you little shit, I came back here because Hell is out to get you, not because I was wrong'. You know, if they could actually talk...? But I do believe that Crowley just expected stubbornness, so he did not bother, because safety was priority. This is a communication thing they will need to figure out. Important thing someone mentioned, though, is that we need to remember that they were never meant to communicate. They could never be too honest with each other. So their problems are realistic.

The whole miscommunication thing is complicated, because on one hand Crowley doesn't tell him everything because he wants to protect him, but when he tries Aziraphale doesn't always listen, and Aziraphale is known for withholding information from Crowley, too. Again, things they need to work on.

I really could go on and on and on.

I fucking love Aziraphale. I love that he can make me theorise for hours. I love that I can make up scenarios where he gets a middle finger and finally admits he fucked up, or scenarios where he truly thought he's doing the right thing for Crowley, and develops as a character to finally understand him completely, or this is some much deeper plan going on... And hell knows which theory, if any of those theories, are right.

It is not hate to say wow Aziraphale fucked up. It just shows he's a complicated character which is good. It would be so bloody boring if he and Crowley were walking perfections who always did the right thing. You wouldn't see anyone theorising or wondering or making up 100 different scenarios where all or none could be true.

I love him for how much he adores Crowley. I love his love for books and cakes and magic, his cute moments, his eyes full of adoration, that he plays a damsel in distress to see Crowley and invite him for a date, I love his innocence. At the end of the day he is simply trying his best.

How can you not ship them? They have Heaven and Hell against them and yet they always find a way back to each other. Even when they fuck up, when they don't talk properly, their love makes them reach out for each other. Over 6 thousand years at least.

How can you not ship love like that? It has more depth than so many other relationships I have read in my life. But because it has depth it means that there will be mistakes. And that's fine. And you can call them out, it does not cancel your love for either of them, or revokes your ability to ship them.

Keep on criticising, talking, wondering, theorising, making up stories. We're only able to because of how complex they are.

And that's fantastic.

[sallyastral]

TLoZ fandom and ableism - Link's mutism

I recently had a discussion with a user here on Tumblr about the subject of the title, and I felt like doing a dedicated post about it.

To clarify: I will NOT provide the user's profile link, because I don't want to create unnecessary drama or discussions for no reason. If this post were to reach the person concerned, know that it is absolutely not against you, but it is a generalized speech.

I've often seen a lot of headcanons regarding Link's mutism, for example, that he may have autism, selective mutism, complete mutism, and many others. I find it really amazing that everyone can make their own headcanons, and I love sharing mine or reading and commenting on other people's.

What I don't tolerate is saying that certain headcanons are wrong from the start. Unless they completely destroy the character's morality, personality, and defining characteristics, no headcanon should be considered wrong because it isn't. What also bothers me is to take one's headcanon for canonical facts and accuse others of "canceling disability" just because they think differently.

For example, I headcanon Link to have aphasia, but that doesn't mean I am canceling a disability and replacing it with another because Link was NEVER confirmed to be either autistic, selectively mute, or completely mute. I am not erasing anything just because I don't headcanon him as autistic or selectively mute. I just have a different opinion from yours, I am not being ableist.

Saying "headcanoning Link as completely mute is wrong, stop trying so hard" IS ableist, exactly how saying "headcanoning him as completely mute is just an easier and less deep way to justify his mutism, it means not taking autism seriously" is too.

There's not even any need to justify your headcanons and support them with misinformation. But if you really want to do that, at least PLEASE do your research right.

Let's take a closer look at what mutism is:

"Muteness or mutism (from Latin mutus 'silent') is defined as an absence of speech while conserving or maintaining the ability to hear the speech of others. Mutism is typically understood as a person's inability to speak, and is commonly observed by family members, caregivers, teachers, doctors, or speech and language pathologists. It may not be a permanent condition, as muteness can be caused or manifest due to several different phenomena, such as physiological injury, illness, medical side effects, psychological trauma, developmental disorders, or neurological disorders." [Wikipedia]

There are 4 main causes for mutism:

Physiological causes of mutism may stem from several different sources, for example, problems with the physiology involved in speech like the mouth or tongue, or apraxia, involving problems with the coordination of muscles and body parts involved in the action of talking. Other causes may be the complete loss of the voice because of illnesses, deformations of the larynx, injuries, or paralysis. The latter does NOT seem to be Link's case, as he can still emit other sounds that aren't words, meaning that his larynx and verbal organs are just fine.

Neurological causes such as strokes, brain damage, degenerative illnesses, brain tumors, or severe injury could cause aphasia, which I headcanon Link to have: - In aphasia, a person is unable to comprehend or unable to formulate language because of damage to specific brain regions. The difficulties of people with aphasia can range from occasional trouble finding words to losing the ability to speak, read, or write; intelligence, however, is unaffected. In my case, it's related to a severe injury Link got during a fight, so it was something sudden. resulting in Broca's aphasia, where individuals understand language and know what they want to say, but are unable to produce isolated words and sentences or write correctly. This form of aphasia most frequently associates with damage in the frontal area of the left hemisphere. In this case, the patient is able to say small phrases and can STILL use his voice like in every other case. It doesn't contradict Link's canon behavior, as it is shown through dialogue boxes that he can say small phrases, and doesn't erase anything else.

When children do not speak, psychological problems or emotional stress, such as anxiety, may be involved. Children may not speak due to selective mutism. Selective mutism is a condition in which the child speaks only in certain situations or with certain people. Selective mutism should not be confused with a child who does not speak and cannot speak due to physical disabilities. Selective mutism may occur in conjunction with an autism spectrum disorder or other diagnoses. Differential diagnosis between selective mutism and language delay associated with autism or other disorders is needed to determine the appropriate treatment. All of these could be extremely valid headcanons.

Absence of speech in children may involve communication disorders or language delays. Communication disorders or developmental language delays may occur for several different reasons. Language delays may be associated with other developmental delays. For example, children with Down syndrome often have impaired language and speech. Children with autism, categorized as a neurodevelopmental disorder in the DSM-V, often demonstrate language delays.

So no, not all mute people can't emit other sounds, and not all mute people are completely unable to speak even small phrases or words.

The point is: NOTHING entitles you to invalidate people's headcanons and spread misinformation just because they're different from yours, and NOTHING gives you the right to call other ableists for the same reason.

#tloz #botw #the legend of zelda #link loz #link post #loz #tloz botw #tloz totk #link #tloz link #mutism #muteness #aphasia #ableist bullshit #ableist nonsense #canon #canon vs fanon #fanon is not canon #disability #disabilties #speech problems #speech loss #link is mute #tloz headcanons #loz headcanons #link headcanons #headcanons #rant #vent post #disabled link

[lavenderek]

man, i am up to here with bullshit myths about adoption.

less than 2% of adopted children develop a trauma disorder like reactive attachment disorder.

70% of adoptees express an interest in learning about their biological families. facebook is cool.

2.5% of minor children in the united states are adopted.

0% of adoptees have exactly the same experience and perspective as another adoptee.

"well, i know several people who were adopted and then they went insane and hated their adopted families."

okay, first of all, no you don't, you made it up; second of all, that is bonkers and not at all representative of average life, and i think you know that; and third of all, were you there to see what these people's experience was growing up? maybe their adopted families actually treated them like shit. who's to say? neither of us was there because you invented them to win an argument.

"adopted kids will always feel different from the other siblings."

do you treat them differently from the other siblings? try not doing that. maybe then they won't.

adoptees who are a different race from their families have a different experience. therapy can help them process this, and they can also look on adoption forums and subreddits to connect with other interracial adoptees to find support and validation.

but either way, consider treating your son like your son.

"you shouldn't tell a kid they were adopted until they're old enough."

old enough for what? when do you think it's a good time to tell a kid they weren't adopted?

"but they might not be ready."

ready for what?

if you lived your whole life chill and normal, and then one day your parents sat you down and said you were adopted, it could change your perspective of yourself and where you fit into the family. you might be angry and sad that you were lied to, and you might wonder if it was kept a secret because it's shameful, because they didn't want you the way you were.

if you knew your whole life you were adopted, then you'd know your whole life you were adopted.

"how do you explain that to a toddler?! you should wait because they won't understand."

dude, there are developmentally appropriate ways to explain anything to a child.

"ella came from mommy's tummy. cecelia came from outside of mommy's tummy."

"mommy wanted a sister for ella, so she went and found cecelia."

"we wanted to have another baby, so we decided to adopt you, cecelia."

"we were having trouble having a baby, so we decided to adopt. we were so happy the day you came home. do you have questions about your birth mom?"

"we had been trying for a long time after ella, but we just couldn't conceive. we thought about IVF, but decided to adopt instead. your biological mother decided to put you up for adoption before you were born. we still have the paperwork upstairs if you're interested. her name is brenda brendason."

use your brain.

"if you never tell them, what's the harm?"

there might be medical conditions that are passed on genetically and they might be better off knowing about those.

and like, WHY lmao??? what's your problem?????

can you imagine finding out as an adult, after your parents have passed away, that you were adopted? like, what would you do with that information lmao? that must be so weird.

"people want their own baby, not an adopted one."

this comment always sucks. it's nothing. your adopted baby is your baby. who else's baby is it? anyone you see at work could be an adoptee and you're saying that guy isn't his parents' son because of how they obtained him.

"it's okay that this movie character has always been in love with his sister because she was adopted."

you are a freak. stop doing that.

#hey guys what's up #you could also just tell them you bought them at kmart

[mikuni14]

Sing My Crush

I binged Sing My Crush and absolutely loved the series. I liked practically everything, from the main and side characters, the interesting and innovative type of the villain and the conflict he created, the fact that the "11th episode drama" has its mostly external causes, that one of the ML falls in love twice and it's treated completely normally, that the story is interesting and well narrated, both MLs are equally likable and I was cheering for both of them, there was no separation at the end, which I totally expected, all problems were solved practically right away.

What I also liked is how both MLs reflect the "cat and dog energy", but in a way that is not irritating. I especially mean how typical a "puppy-golden retriever" is Im Han Tae. But he is the way I like, that is, this "dog" energy gives him only good features, i.e. absolute loyalty, optimism, willingness to help, the need to save and to care for other people, sincere and bubbly personality. And what's especially important to me about the "puppy/sunshine" personality type, which the series NOTORIOUSLY fail to do right, is that these characters sometimes come off "stupid", BUT THEY ARE NOT STUPID. It's just that someone else is taking advantage of their good nature and good intentions, and their belief in the goodness and good intentions of other people, or that they're being caught off-guard and need time to think.

Unfortunately, many shows create scenes for characters like this, often intended to be comedic, that "puppy" literally behaves stupid, or like a pre-pubescent boy in a man's body, and in some extreme cases like someone who, sorry to write this, appears to have some intellectual and developmental disabilities. The perfect example of this type of character for me was this guy from Love Tractor, which made me unable to finish the show because I felt so bad watching this 20 year old man act like he was raised in the jungle, who doesn't understand what's going on with him and his body and is completely freaking out. To me, mentally he was literally a child, I felt sick watching him as a love interest of a grown man.

Being child-like is ok when it is part of a personality that is open, trusting, cheerful, eager to explore the world, and curious. Being child-like as a mental level of an adult person is not ok, to me it's just creepy.

When I started watching Sing My Crush and I saw Im Han Tae I thought oh boy, here we go again, another man-child. And you don't know how happy I am that I was wrong. Im Han Tae has all the best features of the golden retriever personality type and is also smart and acts like a guy his age. Unlike many characters of his type in movies and series, he never runs away from his feelings, he confronts them and confronts Han Ba Ram, and when he needs time to think, he doesn't spend it avoiding and hurting in the process his love interest, or feeling sorry for himself and freaking out, but actually thinks the situation through . Like an adult. And he always, ALWAYS, tries his best not to hurt Han Ba Ram, even when he's angry with him.

Similarly, Han Ba Ram, who is portrayed as a typical "cute" and withdrawn character with "cat" energy, is not stereotypical, but also smart, has his own life outside of the romance, his own worries and desires that he doesn't want to "burden" other people with and is a good person who worries about others, and definitely tends to be self-sacrificing. And yes, he's incredibly cute and cries prettily (I thought I'd die and just turn into a puddle of goo when he started crying after boxing class 🥺🥺) and he's soooo adorable and I'd do anything for him (as well as Han Tae who is such a great character).

Ok, I will stop here, because of the chaos of my thoughts regarding this series. Unfortunately I binged the series with only one break, instead of writing my thoughts after each episode, which is the best way not to miss and organize all my reflections about the series 😉 Anyway, I highly recommend this series, I don't think there are any major, or even minor flaws (ok, maybe too much music, but the title says it all, also the singer's voice is really nice). Wow, this year Korea is spoiling me, this is the third series that I like so much 🤩

#sing my crush #korean bl #bl drama

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

So, fun detail I just noticed about Megamind:

Famously, throughout the film Megamind mispronounces certain words, most notably: "hello" ("olo"), "Metro City" ("Metrocity") and "school" ("shool").

Like many fans, I'd attributed this and other oddities— like not knowing what a window is— to his unconventional upbringing and general social isolation. His speech sounds a lot like the way people pronounce words that they've only seen written down, so maybe he just hasn't had enough practice talking to other people out loud.

Lovely theory, very angsty, makes sense that this would be what the film-makers intended.

Except…

You know who doesn't seem to have this problem with pronunciation? And who in fact attempts to correct Megamind's pronunciation of various words more than any other character?

Fucking Minion.

Minion was there for literally every step of Megamind's childhood. They were raised on Earth together and went through seemingly the exact same experiences. Yet somehow Minion came out the other end knowing how to answer the phone and what a window is and why people use codes, while Megamind didn't.

And I am just so fascinated as to why.

Top three theories:

1. Megamind isn't actually mispronouncing words due to lack of practice, but rather for some other reason.

Maybe there's something up with his ability to hear certain sounds, or his alien anatomy makes it harder to pronounce them. Maybe he's neurodivergent (I mean, he definitely is, but maybe that fact is affecting his speech).

2. Megamind is mispronouncing things due to lack of practice, but there's something about Minion that makes him need less practice to pick up new languages.

Possibly as part of their protective role, his species has advanced language acquisition programmed in so they can act as translators. Else, while Minion and Megamind landed on Earth together, it's not 100% clear whether they were actually at the same age/developmental stage when that happened. If Minion was an adult (or older child) when he became fluent in English, he might have consciously focused more on accurate pronunciation than Megamind did.

3. Megamind is mispronouncing things due to lack of practice, but Minion is getting more practice than him.

This is… honestly the theory with the most evidence behind it. Like, we know that Minion isn't in jail at the start of the film, so he's clearly mot spending the same amount of time in solitary confinement that Megamind is.

He also appears to be in charge of providing Megamind with the resources needed to carry out his plans, which would presumably require him to communicate with scrap merchants, crocodile breeders and Romanian outlet store owners (among others) on the regular.

And like… if he's not getting thrown in jail whenever Megamind does, and Megamind is spending a fair amount of time on the inside, then Minion has to be doing something to pass the time. He's clearly a bit of an extrovert, and seems to take more pleasure in interacting with people than Megamind does.

It seems unlikely that he'd spend all his time sitting in the Evil Lair waiting for Megamind contact him or escape. So what does he do?

I find it both sweet and hilarious to imagine that Minion actually does have his own social circle outside of Megamind.

Minion goes to DnD on the second Tuesday of every month.

Minion gets advice on making costumes for Megamind from his weekly sewing circle.

Minion has been going to university online for the past eight years and is currently working towards his PhD in Marine Biology.

Minion is a semi-regular at Metrocity Night Clubs.

Minion does volunteer work sometimes with kids at the Metrocity hospital.

Megamind has barely any idea about any of this. Like, he knows Minion goes places at various times.

He knows that when he's rampaging through the streets Minion will sometimes stop to wave hello to various people that Megamind has never met. He's seen the half-orc paladin costume that Minion made for DnD.

But he's never really asked about it, and Minion has never seen the need to tell him. So long as Minion's happy, Megamind's happy, and so long as Megamind's happy, Minion is happy.

Meanwhile Roxanna, post-movie, has to grapple with the fact that sometimes she'll go to visit her boyfriend only for him to ask if they can go out for dinner instead because Minion's book club is meeting in the Evil Lair, and he's been gently encouraged not to come back after what he said to Helen about her (wrong) opinions on To Kill A Mockingbird.

#megamind #minion #roxanne ritchi #megamind headcanons #megamind meta