#i need to start my commissions this week but literally every time i have free time im too tired and use it to lie down and scroll or i get | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frecklystars · 2 months

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im gonna start making doodles trying to reclaim my TF F/Os that i've lost, maybe once a week or once every two weeks... or once a month?? i dont know, i will try to keep some consistency but i really need to start slow on this. here's to hoping that drawing them every once in a while will make even just the smallest difference.

im so sick of associating these characters with my abuser and i'm so sick of the immediate fight or flight response that i get when just looking at pictures of TF characters or even the voice actors. i have tried just about everything... therapy, medication, exercise, watching a few clips from the shows, buying cameos, commissioning art/fics, talking to voice actors in person at conventions... nothing has helped me get better at all. i tried giving up on TF entirely, throwing out/giving away all of my TF merch, refusing to touch the franchise, but that has only made me more and more miserable as time has passed. it has been over a year since [insert the most horrific experiences ever here] happened to me and since i associated that with a long list of things, TF included. and im! sick! of feeling bad! so! if im gonna be miserable no matter what, then i might as well try to get better, right?? drawing my F/Os loving me has never failed me before, so here's to hoping it isn't gonna fail me now. i am quite the stubborn bitch and i refuse to allow my main coping mechanism i've used for 2 decades to remain tainted forever and ever 😤😤

these will be the shakiest, shittiest doodles imaginable, but i think drawing the robots i miss so much at least once a month can help me rewire my brain into believing they're safe again and they love me and i'm not in danger. i think the best thing that will help me is drawing my Ryan F/Os interacting with them as "proof" that they're safe to be around, that they've "approved of" them, will help me slowly reclaim them. fake it til you make it as they say. let's try this for maybe just a couple of months as a slow start and see how it goes :/

any TF doodles will be tagged as "reclaiming robots tag" and nothing else - free to blacklist it if you dont wanna see. i'll most likely be rarely posting these but jic //shrug

anyway. yay. attempts number one and two. i like to think barbie and ken stop by the starflower meadow every now and then because stsc summons them across the multiverse, asking them how i'm doing, if i'm safe, if i miss him at all. wow i am shaking so bad. ha ha haaa. these took about ten?? minutes?? so woohoo to ten minutes of drawing TF. im proud of myself for trying. even if i dont go through with this and end up not being able to draw TF ever again, at least i managed this one single post. if i keep this up, maybe a year from now, or two years or five years or whatever, i'll be able to handle it. i don't even expect to hyperfixate on TF ever again because my self shipping will never ever be the same w/ them -- i'll never interact with the fandom again, i'll never reblog fanart or gifsets or anything like that ever again, if i even somehow managed to feel good enough to actually throw myself back into the shows -- but i want to think i'll feel indifferent to it one day. to not have that fight or flight response. that is my goal. literally the bare fucking minimum <3

anyway. i'm super nauseous. this is so incredibly hard! holy shit!!! but that's why i have to do this. to quote pedro pascal, i am going to have a panic attack and i am going to leave 👍✨

(BTW I am still gonna stay offline for a few more days. I am back from vacation but I am SO burnt out I don't want to interact with dms/my inbox yet. I just wanted to post this just to get it out of my system and let it disappear into the void. But I will be back later this week bc I still have some commissions to finish and I wanna gush about my very exciting time meeting steve/tom/the brba cast. anyway... goodnight. i love you. smooch)

#reclaiming robots tag

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sweetest-honeybee · 10 months

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How come you finished welcome home commissions before other commissions?

Sorry to be kind of rude but a friend of mine commissioned something a while before you started posting about Welcome Home and it’s understandable that you are busy but the welcome home commissions were likely commissioned after you started posting about it so I don’t know why you did them first.

I already know I’m gonna sound like an ass for a moment but here we go-

Firstly this can be taken up privately by your friend if they’re concerned. I also don’t particularly appreciate this in my inbox but to answer, it’s just whatever I can get through quickest. My oldest of the ones sitting are from much longer ago than anything anyone in Tumblr has commissioned me for and I’m finishing those tomorrow (they’re from Twitter and Instagram respectively and I dedicated my entire last Saturday to them alone). Those two have been quite kind and expressed their concerns about turnaround themselves if need be

Anything that’s particularly fun and interesting gets done quicker and keeps space open when others are a bit stuck when I need a quick slot filled like last week to cover an expense, for example. Scraping by on harder/less interesting commissions slows things down

Truly, it’s not that I don’t like some commissions, they’re just harder to sit and focus on

Additionally, my time management has been awful this year because of several points of uncertainty about getting a job, a couple scares on my living situation, and not having a clear window of time consistently to know when to work on things that have been sitting (and of course, burnout is always an issue). It’s easy to find time to just. Scribble and doodle, maybe do a piece for myself, but getting actual work done is a little more difficult. I’ve discovered preclaimed adopts and taking up so many commissions in May last minute wasas a bad choice so I’m still quite literally 15 commissions in the hole to finish on top of your friend’s commission. So making sure that isn’t gonna happen again is all I can do, at the moment. I’ve been chipping away at em in little bits of free time as best I can, reorganizing my canvases, getting a good idea of what’ll be finished first and last, etc etc I’ve actually been quite productive for the last week or so

If your friend is upset they need to tell me. They’re the client, and the content doesn’t concern you directly if you haven’t commissioned me and are waiting. If they’d like a refund because the turnaround is too long, that’s for them to communicate with me and I’m happy to provide a refund. I’m not always gonna be the best artist for the job if you want quick work and that’s fine. I’ve refunded MUCH larger pieces before for that reason. Clients may check in at any time whether I’ve got progress to show for the time or not. And oftentimes I don’t! Sometimes it’s days or a couple-few weeks before I can get progress to people, it just happens and I’ve been working on making sure it doesn’t keep happening so I don’t have to make people expect to wait so long before they hear from me. Trust me, it’s always a bit disappointing when I can’t show anything

And now that I’m working as well, my ability to finish those things just depends on what days I get to myself during the week and atm thats 3 days this week so those 3 days are dedicated to downtime and paid commission work. Which quite frankly, is a bit exhausting. Fun puppet characters and scaly dragons and whatnot are fun and rewarding and I’m clearing my queue while doing something I’m enjoying and that gets me to the older stuff much faster

I’m very sorry the turnaround estimate was more than a little off and it’ll be tweaked for better preparation in the future. I’m also sorry if they’ve asked and I didn’t respond quickly or have sounded dismissive. Hell, some clients pester and pester and that certainly makes doing work for them unenjoyable. I think about these commissions every single day and how I can approach them so I can finish them by sometime in July

#I probably shouldn’t answer this so late bc I’m tired and burned out socially and was extremely pissed earlier #but while I hate to say it it’s true #commissions are hard work #people have sat for a long while and I hate that they do #all the time every day I’m thinking oh #surely I can get this sketch out for this person #pr I can do the flats for this person #just to make a LITTLE bit of progress #and it just doesn’t happen #I do try I really do #and some I’m more successful than others ‘]#half the time it’s no excuse but like I said #if this is so bad that you need to barge into my inbox just have your friends talk to me #I’m sure they’ll be a lot more respectful about it than you certainly were

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pixxyofice · 9 months

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🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak 🔁 😈 demongirl-cock

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak ohhh my god how do people deal with having brothers. oh look im gonna tease you and jump behind you when you're studying. please do your job

😈 demongirl-cock Follow ... wasn't your brother the one that blew up?

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak not what im talking about.

29 Notes 🗨️🔁❤️

🎸 hibiki-rock I think @re8elli0n8reak needs to take a break! Go cuddle with that girlfriend she just got. Could say she needs to regain some minty chill, lmaooo

#get it? pelase say someone got it

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🦅 horizon-sunsky Every time I look at the sky, I am amazed all over again. Being able to touch them with my hands has given me a whole new point of view, and I'm so thankful that I was able to get these new prosthetics. I love having wings. Next photoshoot should be out soon.

#life with wings #prosthetic wings #not photoshoot #birdkin

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🪡 thighroidwrap 🔁 😈 demongirl-cock

😈 demongirl-cock Follow

what the fuck happened when i was asleep

🪡 thighroidwrap Don't worry about it.

#tldr a lot of stuff about vandelay got dumped on us at once #including... peppermint vandelay being among us

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🪡 thighroidwrap 🔁 🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak

👼 posts-from-the-angel Follow Imagine being a company apologist 🙄 like helloooo they had ai code literally in their implants, who knows what bad things could've happened, but they expect us to praise them for... having someone else come and deal with it?

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak Alright, that's it.

👼 posts-from-the-angel Follow Oh nooo, the company apologist is going to pull out something that totally isn't more bullshit. cry more

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak

photo from the article liongirlmane shared

selfie i just took

was literally on the rebel team that took the previous head (you know, kale vandelay, my brother) out of commission because of things mentioned in plenty of articles.

🦁 liongirlmane Follow THAT EXPLAINS WAY TOO MUCH?

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak i know i have many issues that i've made clear on this blog but. that hurts

#that obvious huh #anyway identity reveal! yayyy

539 notes 🗨️🔁❤️

💎 sole-emeralds 🔁 🌪 infernochaser97

🎧 sweet-osts-4-tater-tots Follow Endless Possibility - Sonic Unleashed [OST] ▶️

🌪 infernochaser97 @sole-emeralds I saw this and was reminded of you.

💎 sole-emeralds Thank you for the ping! Favorite.

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🪡 thighroidwrap 🔁 🦁 liongirlmane

🦁 liongirlmane Follow

Anonymous Asked: 😎

I think I'm a little lost, what was bad about the tech??? horizon doesn't seem to be suffering from their new robot parts???

Well, there was something built into their robot prosthetics that was actively meant to manipulate those who had them. Typical company bullshit. Read this article.

horizon can be glad about their prosthetics all they want but how much of it is from this?

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak next article is about how the current heads have been working to get everybody's part replaced and also what exactly SPECTRA did. stop just looking at one article and leaving it there.

🦁 liongirlmane Follow Oookay...?

662 notes 🗨️🔁❤️

🖍 cnmntoastbot 🔁🦁 liongirlmane

🦁 liongirlmane Follow Honestly, the situation over at Vandelay Island just shows how much of a bad idea companies running living spaces are. Revolving that much of life around the place who employs you is just a bad idea.

Credits for company items only? Can't move away if you wanted to start somewhere else? Bad. Read ANYTHING on company towns, and then imagine that. But Worse.

🪡 thighroidwrap I mean, at least the food is free. Even if there are 4 mondays and i don't know which one aligns with your weekends

🦁 liongirlmane Follow What

🎸 hibiki-rock That's being fixed! AND we're even getting rid of the AI in the robot parts!

🦁 liongirlmane Follow WHAT?!

🖍 cnmntoastbot He is completely correct! (o´▽`o) If you were ever wondering why your friends who took residence on our island made any monday posts on other days of your week, that would be why! \(^ヮ^)/

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🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak 🔁🖍 cnmntoastbot

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak I want... tiddy... in my face....

🖍 cnmntoastbot (⌒_⌒;) i suppose you are glad to be dating someone who can do that for you now!

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak CNMN WHAT THE FUCK. @Kirby-Mass-Defend PLEASE TELL YOUR ROBOT TO NOT REBLLOG POSTS LIKE THIS?????? THIS IS TWO YEARS OLD

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🎸 hibiki-rock 🔁 🦁 liongirlmane

👼 posts-from-the-angel Follow If you don't reblog anything about this, you're a shitty person. Vandelay Island has been on fire for the past week, and it's in NO news articles at all! So here's a summary of what's been happening...

keep reading

🦁 liongirlmane Follow ... there... there are, though?

🎸 hibiki-rock Its all i hear on my morning commute >.>

#blah blah blah here's the section of the island that's closed off i'm SICK OF IT

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🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak 🔁 🪡 thighroidwrap

🪡 thighroidwrap Your daily reminder to TAKE OFF YOUR PROSTHETICS. It's NO LEG DAY!

🐈‍⬛ re8elli0n8reak NO LEG DAY!! NO LEG DAY!!

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#hi-fi rush #hi fi rush #there are some ocs in the mix here but also 4 of the original gang is here too! guess #hi-fi rush on tumblr #hi fi rush on tumblr #unreality #long post #sorry lol #this is addicting. hope it's good lmao

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ridestomars · 2 years

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IN YOUR LAP OF LUXURY – S. HARRINGTON HEADCANONS

𖥻 pairing: old money!steve harrington x fem!reader. 𖥻 warnings: no mentions of y/n (finally!), allusions to sex/suggestiveness. not proofread - we die like men here.

💭 liv's thoughts: i'm back!!! and decided to start with this yummy concept that is very dear to me, so feel free to talk to me about old money!steve bc he owns my heart rn. i would also like to dedicate this one to @oncasette and @fleurfairie <3

DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK IF YOU'RE UNDER SIXTEEN.

♡ㆍIf you think Steve's a bit irresponsible when spending money, you should see how this boy gets when he starts dating you.

♡ㆍI swear that in less than two weeks of dating, Steve is planning on buying you a car, and will even take you to the dealership so you can choose your favorite vintage Cadillac – then you'd have to take your time convincing him that you do not, in fact, need a new car. He gets really grumpy.

♡ㆍNeedless to say that his love language is giving gifts. So, even though you might think he's only spending money because he can, Steve only does it because he adores you.

♡ㆍAnd because he is absolutely obsessed with your reaction every time he gifts you anything. There's no one in the world who would make him feel butterflies just by smiling brightly in his direction.

♡ㆍThis means that his credit card would either get put on hold or be limited by his dad – only because his old man is terrified of Steve spending all of their family's money on you. Which might sound a bit unreal, but it could totally happen, trust me.

♡ㆍEven when Steve wasn't dating you and you'd just hang out as friends, he would take you shopping for that cute top you saw weeks before but didn't get the chance to buy.

♡ㆍAnd I would also like to say that Steve remembers everything. Like, you may offhandedly comment that you liked one of Brooke Shields's jeans, and next thing you know, Steve already ordered at least five of them.

♡ㆍ“But baby, you said you liked 'em! Of course you'll need more than one… if one of them rips, then you'll have another one to use”, he'd explain to you like it was the most natural thing ever.

♡ㆍ And don't even get me started on how he would make you try on almost every single item in a clothing store and buy you almost all of them.

♡ㆍMan, when the sellers see him enter their stores it's like Christmas; they always receive you both with the biggest smile on their faces – partly because of the year-worth commission they would receive in only one day and because of the ginormous tip Steve would leave them.

♡ㆍThey're not so pleased when they hear the not-so-subtle moans that come out of the dressing booth.

♡ㆍIt's always a bit awkward when you both stand in front of the cashier. But hey! At least Steve would tip a $50 dollar bill.

♡ㆍSince being a poor ol' rich boy also comes with its cons, Steve would have to go to those fancy parties almost weekly. Friends of friends of his parent's friends, you know?

♡ㆍAt least it would serve as an excuse for Steve to buy you new party dresses. And let me tell you: he lives for assembling a good outfit.

♡ㆍHe would literally help you pick everything from your head to your toe. Hair accessories, nail polish and design, gold necklaces, fancy shoes…

♡ㆍAnd he'd always make sure that you're wearing his 'S' necklace – in fact, he got you that in both silver and gold.

♡ㆍBut anyway… Steve loves bringing you to those parties because now, at least, he has a company that he actually enjoys. And it also means that he can talk shit about people to you.

♡ㆍLuckily for you, he would know about everybody's business. And I mean it!

♡ㆍ “See that girl over there?” he discreetly points out to a blonde girl who's fixing her dress by the corner of the room, “She's going out with her best friend's dad”.

♡ㆍ“Hey, baby, look to this guy behind me”, Steve leans down to whisper, “Not like that! Now he totally knows we're talking about him”.

♡ㆍIf you excuse me for a minute, I would really like to talk about Steve's pet names for you because I literally cannot stop thinking about it:

♡ㆍWe'd start off with our very casual but still extremely sweet baby. It's almost second nature for Steve to call you that… in fact, he's been calling you that even before you were officially going out together.

♡ㆍThen, he literally never misses when he calls you princess, though I can totally see that happening in more intimate and domestic moments between the two of you. Like, when he shows you the new top he just got you and is passionately being kissed all over by you, Steve would just start laughing and say, “thank you, princess. Now, go try it on, will you?”, with the softest blush on his cheeks.

♡ㆍBut you seriously cannot look me in the eye and say that he wouldn't call you baby doll. I'm sorry but that's just so real that it hurts to even deny it. Again, another one of those pet names that Steve saves only for the two of you and your endearing moments together – especially when he gets to help you with your outfits.

♡ㆍAnd last but not less important, the rare lover that he would just randomly throw around like it doesn't affect you at all. He's just extremely evil like that. For example, every time he needs you to grab something for him, it's always something like, “lover, can you pass me the salt, please?” and you have to contain a lovesick sigh as you're passing the small glass over to him.

♡ㆍSince you were the one who introduced them to the kids, he might as well be considered more than their babysitter but the campaigner of their get-togethers.

♡ㆍWhich means that, at least, once every month he'd invite the kids (and Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie, and Robin) to what he calls "Harrington Marathon" – he's the only one to call it that, by the way. So he'd rent almost twenty movies because he simply "doesn't know what everybody likes" (knowing damn well what every single one of them like), and buy the most unhealthy snacks and drinks so that you all could watch movies until the sun rises.

♡ㆍHe would even go as far as buying the most cutting-edge VHS player, television, and sound system so that you could enjoy an almost cinema-like experience. His plan is always ruined by Dustin's screams and Eddie's rantings, though.

♡ㆍNeedless to say that he would also allow the kids to go over to his house so that they could play D&D without having to be interrupted by Mrs. Wheeler's screams.

♡ㆍAnd he always teams up with you so that you can throw each one of them a birthday party… and Steve goes as far as picking the birthday theme for each one of them because he just gets so excited – Max had a serious conversation with him when she found out that her birthday party theme would be Dig Dug related, but they both settled down for a horror house theme where she could dress up as Michael Myers again.

steve masterlist | main masterlist | navigation ── hey! wanna talk? leave me a message after the beep. currently accepting requests for steve, nancy and eddie.

𖤐 taglist: @kinqsteve ; @virgoyves ; @stevesmixtape ; @thedixon04 ; @joekeeryismyuncle ; @hqrrington ; @missmaxmayfield ; @slytherinambitious ; @artemis-the-ace ; @louievr ; @liltimmyst ; @Igotbasicdrag ; @saintlessmunson ; @stumachergf ; @falsegodsaltar ; @summer-may

if you'd like to be removed from my taglist, send me an ask or dm me! if you want to be added to my taglist, just click here

#old money!steve #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington headcanons #headcanons #liv talks about stevie #liv writes #stevie! <3 #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #old money!steve x reader

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myumugen · 5 months

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[ENG] Opening Writing Commissions

Hello, I am Misato (pen name). I have been writing for a few years now, and I have decided to start taking commissions for my work. I am also practicing my writing in multiple languages.

What do I do? I can write fanfiction, drabbles, and self-inserts, but I will also open commissions for script-writing once I am more proficient at writing them (I'm still training). I also have many years of experience in advanced literate roleplay, although I will only assist in set-up.

I can write in four languages as of posting this: Japanese, Russian, English, and some Korean. I still need time to learn Korean, so please bear with me.

In terms of genre, I can tackle and adapt to any genre. I also write for several media, such as:

Lobotomy Corporation, Library of Ruina, Limbus Company, Omori, Fire Emblem, and Persona.

I also accept the following prompts:

OC × OC

OC × Canon

Canon × Canon

× Reader

OCs can be human, inhuman, an anthropomorphic creature, et cetera.

What will I NOT do?

NSFW

Discriminatory/hateful content

Abuse of any form

Bodily waste material (blood/violence is fine)

Vore/fetish works

Immoral content (i.e taboo relationships, like adult × minor, teacher × student, etc)

Others not mentioned (use your best judgment)

Other Info

I charge $10 USD per 1,000 words for all works

I only accept PayPal and Venmo, and I require full upfront payments

You will receive progress reports every 5 paragraphs or so

All edit requests are free and can be requested as often as desired

I can begin a commission as soon as I receive it and can usually complete works within 1 – 2 weeks, depending on the length

As I am autistic and have trouble with some instructions, I require clear/detailed communication with clients to ensure maximum quality

There are no slot limits

I retain the right to decline any commission

For any questions or inquiries, please message me here or via Discord: myuMUGEN.

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 2 years

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Mom signed Bethy up for a like bajillion free backpack programs this month because she starts school in August. So Bethy got one bag yesterday and tomorrow she'll get 2 more from different places. All of them filled with school supplies. She's signed up for like another two next week cuz we can't afford to get her school supplies or even get her new uniforms that would fit her.

So Bethy goes back to school in a couple weeks. We're being kicked out of the motel on the 31st and have nowhere to go. Mom's bank account is bounced so terribly she's nearing $1K in fees caused by a certain someone being a dumbass. When her next check comes in, the bank is going to take all of it(and it still won't even be enough to pay off all the fees) which means we'll have nothing for the storage units which are over $600 in debt by now. And we can't afford to miss more payments.

We have to rely on food stamps and food banks outside of my Ko-Fi earnings which usually gets us gas and food when we're out of other options. Mom's food stamps are on the line because we don't live in a house anymore. We're just waiting for the bad news on losing them. Also, she gets waaaaay less in Delaware than she did in Pennsylvania even though DE allows more options I guess?

We have money for gas tomorrow because I've gotten 3 Novella commissions and am writing my ass off for them! I can't plan for anything beyond that though and I am sick and tired of hearing my step-dad whine about no food and no gas and no this and no that. It's not as if he's done anything to help us besides pretend to be interested in church to get people at Bethy's church to share our GoFundMe. They gave a few hundred like a month ago and it was used on the storage unit to buy us another month.

I'm also sick of him invalidating Bethy's pain. Her knee is still swollen from dislocation and she has to wear this elaborate brace for it. Her leg from the knee up is still suuuuper puffy and she has pain in her knee every time she moves it. She has to do all these exercises too just to strengthen her leg again. And yet this asshole is like, "I'll trade my pain for yours since you wanna whine so much." Like, bitch, she's a 15 year old and her knee was literally all the way to the side of her leg. The pain of it being put back in plus the subsequent pain thereafter isn't something she's used to. She's allowed to be annoyed.

But noooo, he has to turn everything into a fucking competition. My pity for his dumbass knee if long gone by now if y'all couldn't tell.

He failed his stupid diet he put himself on and no doctors will do the leg surgery he needs. He literally had to lose 60lbs and had 6 months to do it and still hasn't lost anything. But what he does do is waste money on shit he don't need and then whine about how he doesn't understand why he weighs the same.

Dude, you ate one salad and a peach once a week and then ate popcorn, pistachios, and chips every single night without fail. You wasted food stamps on shit you didn't need but are out here wondering why you won't lose weight. So no, he had one job and refused to do it. He walks on his injured leg all the time to do everything and has even tried swindling money for the dirt races out of people(so his leg is fine enough for frivolity, huh?) and had numerous chances to get swimming as a form of exercise. He chose not to.

My pity is gone. Boo hoo. I'm out here busting my ass and wrists to write 60,000 words just to get $45 and whatever tips I get on the side for the effort, and he sits there whining day in and day out.

Being homeless and trapped in an 8x8x10 room with 3 other people for months at a time is terrible. -10/10. Wouldn't recommend.

#poverty #homelessness #i'm whining again

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keefwho · 6 months

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October 25 - 2023 Wednesday

8:12am

I think I'm worried I'm still nourishing an unbalanced dynamic with people. I always used to see myself as the inferior one with friends and I'd put other people on a pedestal. I fear I am still doing that, even though I'm trying hard not to. I try to see myself as equals with people but sometimes their language or admissions suggest I am like a pet to them or that they generally hold power in the dynamic. It might be a case of giving too much as well. Maybe giving even though I don't receive back can give someone the impression that they deserve that from me so it becomes the norm. Then I get treated unfairly despite no one's intention to do so. Maybe I neglect my own social needs too much. I wear a mask and appease others so I can try to ensure they actually like me. I end up sacrificing a lot because it feels like no one is right for me. No one ever sticks. I feel doomed to always be the one giving just so I'm not alone.

3:29pm

As usual this time of day I just feel lonely. I feel hopeless and it's affecting my desire to do literally anything. I don't wanna put in any work if I only have more bland life to look forward to. I'm not sure how to even pretend like there is a better future waiting for me. I really do want to see the positive outcomes of anything I might do. Ideally right now I'd be having fun drawing the things I gotta do but it's hard to do that when I'm anticipating sorrow and misery in the near future.

6:15pm

I'm done drawing and I didn't even have good results. Now I'm lonely, tired, and disappointed in myself. This happens a lot.

10:51pm

This morning I had left over beef rice a roni for breakfast. I was very tired also since I've been losing small amounts of sleep every night for about a week. It's taken it's toll. I got to stream late after napping on my desk. I really didn't want to stream, I felt terrible. I felt like today was going to be like every other. Working on commissions I don't want to do, internally berating myself for not being able to really connect or relate with 570 or the rare others that show up, hoping Daisy will join at some point, and dreading the cleaning/workout I have to do after. I did the commission and the episodes of Mia and He-Man were good. Inktober didn't turn out great.

Afterwards I only had enough time for 30 minutes of wood chopping and a good chunk of that was spend getting a sled and looking for other things. I didn't get much done. I didn't clean too much after either, just my toilet some. In the shower I wanted release. I had a hard time figuring out what to do, I spent way too long in the shower. I bothered Daisy about it and felt bad after because I know she's at work and has a lot of other stuff going on. It's frustrating that we handle this so differently. When I'm under stress, my go to is to nut generally. It helps take my mind off of things and express my emotions in some ways. She seems to stray far from it during difficult times which is fine, just a way that we don't connect. I just don't want it to cause conflict at any point which it shouldn't if we're both understanding about how each other feels.

I didn't have much time for lunch so I made Ramen, a granola bar, and a pear cup. I got to my afternoon work late as well. I also had a hard time getting myself to do it but I found a lofi stream (I usually hate lofi), ambient rain noise, and I hopped in a call while I did today's request and a couple meme drawings that didn't turn out as well as I wanted.

Afterwards I booted up Legendary Tales and decided to stream while I waited for Daisy to be free because at this point I was lonely and just wanted to talk to her. No one showed up which made me feel even lonelier. I also lost my current character and had to start over but I worked up almost to where I was before.

When Daisy was free she worked on her costume for the con while we watched She Ra which is a great show, I'm excited to watch it. We watched the first 3 episodes. While she went to bed I played Cities Skylines. She was holding Rosalina for awhile, her pet rat who is near her time with a massive tumor on her neck. I feel extreme sorrow at her inevitable loss. I feel awful that Daisy is having such a hard time lately. I feel bad that I'm struggling lately too. I just wish I could do more to make things better but that's not my job and it's something I literally can't do. I can't change all the terrible things happening, I can only offer my support.

Lately I've been focusing on making sure I'm not suppressing my feelings again. That means admitting some uncomfortable truths about how I feel about certain things. It means really letting my reactions be how they are. It's scary being unfiltered because I feel like I have problems that WILL scare people away, even though this is a necessary step for me to get past them. I feel horrible that to most people I think I used to be more fun and care free to be around but now I'm so emotional and withdrawn. I feel like I have no social value because I can't really fit into any chill get togethers and I can't seem to actually care about anyone besides Daisy usually. I'm scared because I can't figure out why. I can't figure out why I can't accept new people into my life as friends. I can't figure out why I get so obsessive about things. I feel ashamed at myself and will be crying in bed tonight. But in a way that feels good because usually I try to hold it in or pretend like I should feel okay. Well I'm not okay, I have a lot to cry about. I have extreme amounts of fear and sadness and I have to let them out.

#journal #diary

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fusion-ego · 7 months

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✩Update✩

✮ Haven't done one of these in a bit because life has been. Crazy. I honestly don't remember the last thing I updated y'all on in terms of how things are working out over here.

✮ So we're gonna go over everything I can think of since August 1st!

✮ August 1 - 11th: Got a job offer in Arizona! Put in two weeks' notice at my job at the shelter. Immediately my plans to get out to Arizona in time to start my other job went up in flames because of car issues/money issues. Honestly not all that upset, I'll have other chances to get something and if it turns back up I might even re-apply for that job.

✮ August 12th-19th: I had the most insane two weeks of work where people I had never interacted with previously/didn't know very well got teary and insisted they were going to miss me. I gave a lot of hugs to women I did not know very well. One of the residents, who got there the week I was leaving, heard that I was leaving to pursue a different job, and her daughter baked me a going away cake. They had known me for two days. It was fucking bizarre. I also bought my truck from my MIL finally! 19th was my last night at work.

✮ August 20th-31st: Left the shelter for the last time at the end of my shift the morning of the 20th. Got my truck's title in the mail! Started making plans to be out of apartment and on the way to Arizona by around September 1st, when my mother was supposed receive retirement benefits from her job that she just quit and then we could all head out to AZ together (instead of my husband and I driving cross-country on our own for the first time). Power got shut off for non-payment the same day I received a "please gtfo of this apartment, you didn't pay your rent" note from my Insane Landlady. We got out of the apartment because I had no plans of paying her anyway after the shit she'd been pulling the last few months (long story). Ended up in a hotel for a few days, in a motel for a few more. Now officially completely broke.

✮ September 1st-30th: Waited for mom's retirement benefits. Moved in with my grandmothers temporarily (around 3 weeks). Went totally broke and had to beg for money for food a couple times. Finally set out for AZ on the 30th. Car promptly started overheating and nearly broke down about 100 miles away, so our little convoy (my mom's truck, my truck, my parents' RV) stopped in at an RV park in Missouri so we could try to fix the truck and some issues the RV was having.

✮ Oct 1st-2nd: Cannot fucking figure out what's wrong with my truck. Dad has replaced the thermostat, tested the water filter, flushed and refilled the coolant, and emptied and refilled the oil. Stupid old thing (affectionate AND derogatory) still overheats if she goes over 60mph for longer than about 5 minutes. RV wouldn't start Oct 2nd when we meant to try and set out again. Mom and dad paid for my husband and I to remain in the RV park for the next two weeks, piled into mom's truck, and went on ahead to AZ to get started at their jobs so that they can come up with the money to get the RV and truck fixed and get us out there as they understand I literally Cannot contribute at the moment since I don't have a job and ran out of cash ages ago since this whole thing took WAY longer to happen than it was supposed to.

✮ Technically this also goes in the last section, but I decided to try and do OC-Tober this year. So far I've done the first 4 days with little difficulty, and it's honestly been nice. I've also been doing some mini-fics on a separate blog every day and that's been really nice too. I forgot how freeing it is to just write a little random thing and post it without needing to provide context or anything. Think I'm gonna try and stick to writing a mini-fic a day! At least until I'm gainfully employed again. It's done great things for my mental health.

✮ That said, my commissions are desperately open right now. I've got at least two weeks before I can make it to Arizona and have a chance at a job, and there's a chance we may just have to send my truck back to Illinois if we can't figure out what's wrong with it which will severely impact my ability to find gainful employment in the city.

✮ Not exactly an update, but groceries are so much fucking cheaper in Missouri than they are in Illinois??? I haven't called DHS to tell them I'm moving yet because we still definitely need the money and don't have a permanent address outside Illinois yet anyway, so we got our SNAP benefits today and, like... We bought $130 worth of groceries at Walmart that would have EASILY maxed out our SNAP in Illinois like halfway through picking up essentials. It's WILD.

✮ And... I think that's it? For now?✮

#update post #update post: 10/04/2023 #update #fusionego.txt #matt talks #moving mania

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circlejourney · 10 months

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I have to admit it. I am chronically stressed, and it's been rearing its ugly head a lot lately. I am constantly, every waking minute of the day, pushing myself to be "productive" in some way or other - making income, fulfilling obligations, or doing things for the sake of others, and very little time is just for me, from the hour I wake to the hour I sleep. I think my writing/OC stuff and code stuff are the only hobbies I have ongoing right now, and even that involves active creation.

A lot of people have said they're amazed at how much I do in a day. It's because my brain has no off switch. I can't stop going, and when I'm feeling down on myself, depressed or hopeless, my coping mechanism is to pile on more tasks.

(Feeling depressed and useless? Some income will fix this, time to open commissions!)

I'm very tired and run off my feet, all the time. I have chronic insomnia. I rely on my meds to sleep, and even then, I only sleep restfully (without waking up from anxiety, too early, with brain zaps or sleep paralysis) if I dont have any pending responsibilities. Which is, well, never.

I've kinda made my home here. If I'm burned out, it probably happened 3 years ago, and I'm still running on adrenaline and fear of failing alone. The pressure-free creative outlets have been nice. But just it's physically not possible to fit all my hobbies and responsibilities together. I keep saying this is just what this month is like, but it's not, every month is like this.

Even now, I've hit crunch time on an animation project, meant to be preparing to resume tutoring in 2 weeks' time, releasing a zine this Friday, opening my commissions this weekend, hit active moderation for a big community project this week, and just accepted an invite to present my research at a small symposium next Monday. But boy I sure did just do 34 Art Fight attacks! And I'm only being paid for half of those things! Why!

I can almost see my lifespan burning out before my eyes. I forget how much chronic stress can affect your health and I'm starting to feel just how much it is impacting my gut health, my sleep, my ability to focus and keep my cool and not be in a constant state of despair. I need to rethink literally everything about how I am doing life.

Anyway how's your week been? (/ Sarcastic closer)

#life and times

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easyincomestrategy · 2 years

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oqal · 2 years

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Girl how’re you feeling today?

ugh just defeated soooo much

my car didn’t start up again today so i called my coworker and told him i couldn’t come in as i had no other source of transportation (scared of ubers lowkey bc i’m a woman tbh) and he was like yeah no worries i got you

so, after an hour of trying to figure out whats wrong w my car myself (like checking if the battery wires were secured and the alternator would fire) for like an hour, my manager (not boss manager of the store) said if i don’t go into my shift today, i won’t have anymore shifts again or my hours cut in half (40 to 20–like i don’t have bills??) so i go in, clean myself of the oil n shit, then be driven by my roommate to my job. we open at 10, i got there at 10:30 instead of 9 am as scheduled. not a huge deal right?

so i go in anyways, already stressed about my car, and even though the store has been open for an hour and a fucking half, coworker did literally none of the inventory. even when it was dead asf and i was an hour and a half late. which is a huge fucking list of all of our products and how much we have. there’s three inventories you have to complete by 10:30. he didn’t even do one!! it took me forever because we have a billion new products!!!! he WAITED for someone to show up so he didn’t have to. so. proves my point that men are fucking useless and why that store is a fucking disorganized mess i have to organize all the fucking time

schedule gets released and instead of the usual 40, it’s fucking 21. and i was like oh FUCK no. so i confronted bossman via text and said “this is not a liveable schedule for me i have bills and this is my only source of income, and we agreed on 40, and despite EVERYTHING, i still showed up today. what the fuck is this.” (i am very brave and it was in a more polite way) so he’s put on the spot, promises me more hours the following week and gave me an extra shift, bumping it up to 28. but it’s still like?? bruh i’m GETTING MY CAR FIXED FOR THIS JOB AND THAT COSTS MONEY AND YOU GIVE ME LESS HOURS TO RUB SALT IN THE FUCKING WOUND?? HELL TF NO

finances give me so much stress and my family sucks and my job threatened 86ing me, and my car is acting wonky. i am a busy person who travels a lot for work and if i don’t have a car then i just freak out and spiral so much. but finances are truly my number one stressor ;;;; i go into anxiety attacks and did at least twice today

luckily everything is planned out now. i’m borrowing my mom’s car for the weekend, my sister will follow me to the dealership so if it is the alternator, i can get that fixed for free as it’s still under warranty, and then she’s going to help me run my necessary errands i need to complete

its like. just. god. can i get a fucking break. (not an actual break, give me what we agreed on and also EVERY DAY SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS)

it’s like. to make up for the money income, i could do commissions of either art or fic, but i’m…. not rlly that good yet lolol. time to start selling my other drugs 🙄🙄 (/j)

#asks #sorry needed to vent #i’m slowly losing my mind

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versadies · 3 years

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Hello!! I just read your Zhongli and Xiao poly headcannons and its just 🤌💖💖💖

I was wondering if youre willing to do Zhongli and Childe poly with a GN! reader perhaps? ;;w;; Maybe how they managed to pull reader into that wild mess haha

But regardless keep up the good work!!~ 💖

penpal: aww thank u so much, im glad you like my poly hc on xiao and zhongli! and can i just say omg what an even more chaotic pair 😳😳😳

warning/s: spoilers on archon quest (chapter one) and childe’s story quest, reader has a role (adventurer), not proof-read, wearing, and ooc (?)

when you suggest a poly relationship:

-> it was hilarious when you three didn’t date yet.

-> listen, childe would literally be in a one-sided rivalry with zhongli— who isn’t even aware of this rivalry.

-> i honestly can see you and zhongli being friends for quite a while and he wouldn’t realize his feelings until childe comes in the picture and tries to woo you.

-> zhongli would have a hard time trying to figure out his feelings for you while childe is busy flirting with you. you’ll either be (or try to act) obvlivious or think childe’s flirting is just harmless flirting with no meaning to it.

-> basically, your pre-relationship is just complicated and full of misunderstandings.

-> once zhongli actually figures out his feelings, he’ll try to learn more on romance given that he’s very inexperienced with it and will plan on confessing his feelings to you.

-> when childe actually finds out about zhongli trying to confess to you— he’ll literally do so many things to make zhongli not try to confront you such as distracting you, have the wangsheng funeral parlor keep him busy, etc.

-> you’d caught on to childe’s scheming so you have to go confront zhongli yourself.

-> for some reason though— it ended up with both of them confessing you on the spot and let you choose who to be with in this scenario.

-> which resulted in you suggesting a poly relationship

when they’re the one who suggest it:

-> childe and zhongli have a... unique relationship per say.

-> in this scenario, i honestly see childe still being in a one-sided rivalry with zhongli when it comes to winning your heart.

-> for zhongli, he’s still unsure of his feelings but he’ll figure out later on that he wants to be more than just friends with you.

-> he’ll actually notice on how childe is starting to be more.. affectionate with you and just shrug it off as harmless. however, zhongli will start to notice how childe’s flirting has a hint of desperation and seriousness.

-> once childe finds out that zhongli is in love with you too, he’ll not do the same thing that he did in the scenario above— instead, he’ll actually confront zhongli about it.

-> i can actually see childe suggesting a fight and the person who wins will confess to you— but he knows it’s no use. he knows what zhongli is capable of given that he’s rex lapis, the previous god of war and the fact that childe is still recovering from using his legacy form in the teucer incident makes him know that the fight won’t end well.

-> i honestly think childe would make a “contract” with zhongli in confessing to you at the same time and if you don’t choose the other, they have to back off. obviously, zhongli would accept the contract given that he’s the god of contracts and all.

-> so this led to them confessing you in one of the best destination spots of liyue.

-> if you admit that you don’t actually know who to choose, then zhongli would suggest in trying out a poly relationship.

-> i honestly think childe would be against a poly relationship with you and zhongli since he immediately thinks of how chaotic it would be— but if you accept in trying, then childe might as well accept.

what it’s like to be in a poly rel. with them:

-> at first, it was a bit... awkward. neither of y’all don’t know what to do with the relationship but after a while, the three of you would went with the flow.

-> as i mentioned in my prev headcanons that has zhongli, he is inexperienced in dating and affection. he’s stiff when you give him hugs and kisses at first. however, after learning from childe, he would start holding your hand or give you forehead kisses (with permission ofc, this is zhongli we’re talking about).

-> childe is probably the most open when it comes to affection. he’ll always give you a hug or kiss whenever you’re around. he’ll even hug you and zhongli together if he’s in a happy mood.

-> while childe is the most open, zhongli is the most caring. if one of y’all have a hard time sleeping, he’ll get out from bed and make tea that helps you sleep. he’ll also make sure you and childe have eaten well and will happily try to take care of your injuries.

-> when it comes to dates— it’s laidback and partially adventurous. most of your dates always takes place in wanmin restaurant but on special occassions, it’s somewhere out from liyue harbor.

-> as for the public, neither of you really care if the whole nation heard winds of your relationship. childe would most likely prefer to keep his relationship with you and zhongli a secret given that he’s a part of the fatui.

-> speaking of fatui...

-> childe will not tell you anything about the fatui at all. zhongli may have dealt with the fatui as well but that does not mean he’ll tell you what he knows as well (not after a secret contract childe made with him during your first days of your relationship).

-> childe’s reason is that he does not want you to see his.. scary side. even though you know his potential along with the fatui’s, he never tells you his lust for battles. whenever you go on adventures with him, he’ll literally keep his insane addiction to fighting in stability in fear of making you run away from him and never talk to him.

-> he knows you would never be afraid fo him, yet he couldn’t help but just keep this side a secret just in case.

-> fights with them are seldom. the only fights you’ve fought is with childe and zhongli would be the peacemaker between you two. most of your arguments were about how careless the both of you are when it comes to adventuring or fighting enemies. thankfully none of the fights is very serious— just you and childe lecturing (angrily) back to back.

-> whenever you’re sad, they’ll do whatever they can to make you happy. whether it’d be childe making his wallet crying by buying your favorite foods and things, zhongli giving you the best hugs, or both taking you to a place with a comforting atmosphere.

-> whoever made you sad needs to run because they will get their ass kicked by a god and one of the most feared people in the fatui.

-> when it comes to joining you on your adventures, childe will be very happy to kill every single enemy by your side while zhongli would make sure the both of you are protected with his shields.

-> picnic dates picnic dates picnic dates—

-> the three of you are the literal definition of teamwork when it comes to adventuring around teyvat. your team is the kind that all adventurers want.

-> if you get hurt— oof rip to the enemy who hurt you because that’s the last time they’ll ever do before a hugeass whale and a fucking meteor crashed down on the enemy.

-> if one of them got hurt— oof rip to the enemy because they’ll get their ass kicked by an angry adventurer who just wanted to spend time with their boyfriends.

-> when it comes to being jealous, it’s childe who mostly gets jealous. if it weren’t for zhongli, childe would’ve ruined a lot of careers. he’s actually fine if someone flirts with you cuz hey, you’re hot and who knows, maybe the person will offer you a free drink!

-> however, should the person make you uncomfortable, childe’s carefree attitude went 0 and won’t hesitate to try to break the person’s arm if they won’t leave you alone. please pray that zhongli has childe’s back and won’t get you all in trouble for childe breaking someone’s bones.

-> one of the cons of your relationship with these two is they’re busy.

-> i honestly think that childe would be distant. since the fatui got what they wanted from zhongli, he’ll need to be sent back to snezhnaya for another task. he’ll def write letters to you and zhongli and send them every week— even if he’s too busy, he’ll find time to write them just so you two know he’s okay.

-> on regular days, it’ll just be you and zhongli— but then again, there were some days when zhongli would be busy as well due to his job. don’t worry, he’ll be with you by the end of the day and make up for his super busy schedule with cuddles and stories you’ve never heard of!

-> despite them being busy, they’ll actually try everything they can to speed things up just so they can go back to you. if childe has the chance, he would take you and zhongli to snezhnaya and meet his family while he’s doing harbringer works there— hell, he’ll even quit his harbringer work and join your adventure team if he could.

-> of course, as an adventurer— you are also busy with your commissions.

-> sometimes, you’d be gone for the whole day and come back home the next day. it’s not something these two aren’t used to but they do tend to worry whenever you’re gone for more than 2 days.

-> they’ll definitely be more clingy or affectionate when you go back to them from a long trip.

-> every time childe announces in his letters that he’ll go back to liyue, you and zhongli will immediately go visit to the docks and wait for a snezhnayan ship to appear. childe will literally be knocked out from you tackling him with a hug the moment he comes out from the ship.

-> after that sweet reunite, you and zhongli will definitely take him to wanmin restaurant and talk about what you two did while he was gone. childe will also make sure no fatui agent won’t bother you three when times like this happens

-> time is very precious in your relationship. you three really don’t get to be together everyday but whenever you can, you cherish your time.

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lavenderwhore444 · 3 years

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So I’m obsessed with the idea of cow shigaraki don’t ask me why lmaoo anyways shigaraki was always an asshole to everyone ( everyone tries to take him seriously but his cute little ears makes it hard) shigaraki hasn’t gotten out of his room for days and everyone kind of got worried but forced the reader to check it since shigaraki was a littel bit decent to them ( everyone knows shigaraki has a crush on the reader but of course the reader is lowkey dumb to notice) to there surprise the reader finds shigaraki humping his pillow while sniffing the readers sweater or panties that he “ borrowed” and moaning readers name, it turns out our little cow shiggy here has his heat not to mention little drops of milk are coming out of his pink nipples, shigaraki notices the reader and just starts crying and whining and begging the reader ti help him out because he’s in so much pain and can’t get off ( the reader does have a heart and helps him out but it’s not gonna be that easy since the reader does want to tease him a bit but soon gives him what he wants) a fluff ending because why not

This lives rent free honestly loll anyways add any kinks u want sweetheart

COMMISSIONS

BRO I JUST REALIZED WE REACHED OVER 100 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE FAN ART FOR THIS

If you want to use interactive fics, it's easy and makes reading fics SO much better. First, you download the Google Chrome extension. You'll see it in the top right corner of your screen. Next, you enter your name in the first box. If you want to change something other than y/n, please click on the text that says “want to change something other than y/n?” here, you can change any word you want to a different word. When I talk about your quirk I will use y/q

InteractiveFics

Master List

Warnings: Hand job, blow job, thigh fucking, normal fucking, mommy kink, this time Shiggy is making milk for y/n, pillow humping, heat, boobies lol, bad words, he has cow ears and tail because that’s fucking adorable, he cums like... a lot.

youtube

I know what everyone is thinking, and I pinky promise that Shigaraki does not moo in this, so don't worry. I did read a fic like this and everyone turned it into like a “cursed fanfic” because the mooing weirded them out, but the only thing that really bothered me is that it was non-con (non-consensual [rape]). I will never ever ever EVER EVER EVER write non-con. Never.

Ok, I am on a fucking roll with the mommy kink, so here we go 😌

Anon your ideas make me write for literal hours cause I get so excited and I write for “20 minutes” that turns into four hours that turns into getting half of your requests done in less than a week. If anyone reading this can draw, I demand art of cow Shigaraki. This reminds me of Shigamothie (my guilty pleasure)

However, the way he looks in my head isn't drawn out, and um, I can’t draw 😃

I FOUND SOME UHIUHINIJMIOANIONSJIND

“Y/n, it's been days. Go check on him, ” Dabi said.

“Why don't you go do it?” you asked.

“Because he’ll fucking dust me, ” he responded.

“And? He would dust me too, ” you said.

“Y/n, first of all, that's impossible because of your quirk, ” Dabi said, “and second, everyone knows Shiggy has a crush on you. Well, everyone but you,”

“He does not, ” you scoffed.

“I'll bet everyone dinner for the next three nights that he does. But you have to go up there and ask him, ” Spinner said.

“Fuck, ” you muttered, “fine! Fine, I'll go, ”

You trudged up the stairs, sighing when you got to his room.

You knocked but there was no response.

“Risking my job so those assholes can eat, ” you muttered.

To your dismay the door was unlocked and you walked in.

“Hey, this is a dumb question, but-” you cut off, “Shigaraki are-are you ok?”

He was curled up on the bed in fetal position, naked with a pillow between his legs, humping it desperately. He didn't seem to notice you yet.

‘Is that my sweater?’ you thought.

You put a hand oh his shoulder, “Shigaraki? Are you ok?” you asked again.

He shook his head, moaning, “need you y/n, ” he gasped, “need you, please. It hurts. It hurts so bad please y/n, ”

You bit your lip, scratching behind his ears as he moaned desperately.

“I can't. I-I can't get myself off, ” he sobbed, “it doesn't w-work. I need you y/n I need to be inside of you I-”

He let out a strangled yelp as white liquid shot out of both his cock and his erect pink nipples. You knew he had cow ears and a tail, but you never thought he’d actually make milk. You knelt by the bed and sucked experimentally, enjoying the taste of his warm milk.

“Mmm, ” you hummed, drinking more.

“Y-y/n don't. It feels too good when you do that I can't-” he cried, spilling another load onto the poor pillow.

You giggled, “i didn't know you went into heat. It's kinda cute, ” you said, brushing sweaty matted hair out of his face.

He hid his face in your sweater again, just for you to pull him to face you once more.

“Mommy, ” he whispered, “I need you. Please, mommy, ”

You kissed his forehead, “mommy, huh? Y’know you're really not that scary, Shiggy. The ears and tail don't help either, ”

He whined, blushing, “please mommy?”

He looked up at you with puppy dog eyes that you couldn't resist.

You sighed, “fine. But only if you answer my question, ”

He nodded, “anything, mommy. I’ll do anything, ”

You took a deep breath before asking, “do you have a crush on me? ”

“Wh-what? ” he stuttered before blowing another load with a groan.

“I asked you if you have a crush on me,” you repeated.

He couldn't hide it from you. He couldn't even hide it from himself.

“Yes, ” he groaned, “yes, I have a fucking crush on you. Please fuck me y/n, ”

“Say please again, baby. I love it when you beg,” you said, kissing him.

He froze as you pressed your lips to his. Shigaraki looked up at you with wide eyes. That was his first kiss, and he got to share it with you.

“Please, ” he whispered, “please fuck me y/n, ”

You ran your hand up and down the back of his thigh, stopping to squeeze his butt gently. You took his nipple in your mouth again, drinking more of his milk before kissing him again. This time he returned your affection. You took away the pillow, and he started whining, practically crying at the lack of stimulation. He was already a mess. There was really no need for teasing, but you couldn't help yourself. You tapped the tip of his cock with your pointer finger, watching as he moaned and tried to buck into it.

“So sensitive, ” you said, pulling your hand away, “I think we’re gonna have some fun Shiggy, ”

He nodded, “mommy, please, please touch me, ”

You couldn't deny him any longer. He was practically crying. He’d been so touch-starved for years it wasn't just about how badly he needed to cum it was about how badly he needed not only to be touched but to touch someone else. He hadn't given or received a hug since he was a kid, and even now, he couldn't if he wanted to. Until you joined.

Your first quirk was impressive, but the fact that you had a secondary quirk to cancel out his had to be fate. He decided that very day that you were his soulmate. You were the one he could do all that cheesy romance stuff he’d seen during movie nights when it was Toga’s turn. You were his from the moment he saw you.

“I’ll touch you baby boy, don't worry, ” you said, taking off your shirt.

He stared at your chest as you unclipped your bra. He reached for your boob, seemingly to play with it in his hands but instead pulled you towards his mouth. He sucked harshly, groping your other tit. You groaned as he pinched and twisted your left nipple and sucked on your right one. You weren't even on the bed yet, still knelt beside it. You pushed him away and climbed on top of him, laying him flat on his back.

“You're so rough with mommy, sweetie. You have absolutely no power in this position, no matter how much you'd like to deny it. Now I wonder, ” you said, reaching between his legs, “does this little cow moo?”

You jerked his cock harshly, causing Shigaraki to let out a loud moan.

You whispered in his ear, “It looks like the answer is yes, ”

You kissed his cute little ear, still getting him off with your hands. He came again, painting your hand with cum, but he still wasn't satisfied. You took his nipple in your mouth once again, sucking warm milk from him. He was shuddering and thrashing around on the bed once again, falling apart from the lack of stimulation to his dick.

“Mommy, need inside. Please mommy please, ” he begged.

“Be patient, Shigaraki, ” you said, caressing his cheek, “I'm taking you every way I know how, ”

You crawled down the bed, letting your left hand trail down his body, pinching and twisting his nipple again. You smeared the milk that oozed out over it. When you finally settled between his legs, you took your time admiring and practically worshipping his thighs. You kneaded the flesh in your hands, kissing, licking, and biting them, thrilled you were finally able to get your hands on them. You’d always had a thing for his thighs, not sure why.

When you finally started moving upwards he begged you shamelessly.

“Please put your mouth on my cock, mommy, ” he whined, “please, I'll be good. I’ll be a good boy for you mommy, ”

You bit and kissed his inner thighs more, traveling as high as you could while still ignoring his oozing cock. You had to dig your nails into his thighs to keep Shigaraki from closing them. You finally brushed your lips against his balls, and Shigaraki almost came right then and there. You licked long stripes up his dick, pausing to let your tongue tickle the head. He was holding back now, trying to last so he could feel your mouth for just a little longer. You sucked on the head of his cock, impressed by his willpower and even more excited to break him down.

You took him into your mouth and hollowed your cheek, not caring about the tears streaming down your face or how you gagged whenever you moved your mouth. He pulled you up until your breathing steadied.

“Dont hurt yourself, mommy, ” he said.

He pet your hair as you were still only halfway down his cock. He was so sweet to you, such a good boy. You rolled his balls in one hand, wrapping the other around what he wouldn't allow your mouth to cover, and sucked harshly on what you could. He was starting to break down, finally letting go in your mouth. He came with another strangled cry. If you were honest, his cum tasted awful thanks to his poor diet, but luckily, you knew exactly how to get rid of the taste.

“As much as I love milking your cock, baby, I think there's something else that needs milking too, ” you said.

You brought your head to his chest once again gulping down milk.

You pulled away “you need to est better sweetie. I’ll cook for you from now on, ”

He looked like he was about to object, so you captured his lips in a sweet kiss, letting him know how happy you were that he was here with you and how excited you were to take care of him. You had used your mouth and hands which only left one option, your cunt. Or so he thought.

“Kneel for me by the end of the bed, Shigaraki, ” you said.

He did as he was told, “you can call me Tomura, ” he said.

“Such a pretty name, ” you praised, “now put your cock between my thighs,”

You had lifted your legs as best you could, counting on him to support you the rest of the way.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“I want you to fuck my thighs, ” you explained, “and if you try to slip inside of me, I'm not fucking you properly until tomorrow and you can suffer for the rest of today, ”

He frowned. That was no fair, but he wasn't going to disobey you. He had promised to be a good boy. So he took off your pants and lined himself up with your thighs, moaning as he slid in between them.

“ go ahead, baby boy, make yourself feel good, Tomura” you said.

He nodded, beginning to thrust into your thighs. He had your legs draped over his shoulders and was dangerously close to your aching cunt. He was whimpering the entire time, desperate to finish so he could get inside of you. Feel how warm and wet you were. Letting you squeeze him and milk his cock, how he’d play with your tits as you moaned beneath him. That's all it took for the head of his dick to peek out from between your thighs and paint you with his cum.

“Baby, you did such a good job for mommy, ” you praised him, “fuck me, Tomura, you deserve it, ”

He reached into the drawer of his nightstand, but you stopped him.

“I'm on the pill. You don't need a condom, ” you said.

He shook his head and rifled through the drawer before pulling out a cock ring, sliding it on.

“Wanna make mommy feel good too, ” he said, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, “wanna last so mommy can cum with me, ”

You squeezed him tight, kissing the top of his head.

“You're so sweet, baby, ” you said.

He pulled down your panties, lining himself up, and hovering over you.

“Tell me if it hurts, ” he said.

You nodded, and he pushed in slowly, stretching you, but you didn't want him to stop. Once he was entirely inside you, he stopped. He tried to commit the feeling of you to memory. He began thrusting slowly, focusing all his energy on making you feel good. He reached down to rub your clit, causing you to moan out his name. He tried every angle to try and find the spot you liked. When your back arched and you moaned out, ‘right, there baby,’ he knew he’d found his mark. He kept thrusting, speeding up, watching you come undone. You grabbed his hair, arched your back into his chest, and didn't try to hide your desperate moans.

“Tomura, I'm close, ” you said, pressing his forehead to yours.

He nodded and kept going, whining and whimpering. You groaned, starting to reach your limit. You started grinding against him, chasing your high desperately. You came with a high-pitched whine, juices coating his cock.

“That's it, mommy, please cum on my cock. I love making you feel good, mommy I-, ” he was cut off by his orgasm, crying out to you.

He collapsed on top of you, cum oozing out of your hole.

“Will you go out on a date with me?” he whispered.

You laughed, “yes, of course I'll go out on a date with you, Tomura”

“Thank you, mommy, ” he whispered.

The door swung open.

“Y/n are you dead or-, ” Dabi grinned, “we’re eating good tonight, guys!” he called downstairs, closing the door as everyone cheered.

“Spinner made me go ask if you had a crush on me. I said no, but then he offered to get us all dinner for three nights, ” you explained, “plus you actually liked me back, which in my opinion is much better than anything he could have offered, ”

He chuckled, “I'll have to thank him. You're not getting out of this bed until dinner y/n, hope you know that, ”

#tomura fluff #tomura smut #tenko smut #tomura x reader #mha tomura #tomura imagine #shigaraki tenko #tomura shiragaki #tomurashigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki smut #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader

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liquid-luck-00 · 3 years

Text

Where There Is Change

Discovery

@maribat-bdbwm

So I will not be following the prompt days at all. If any fall on the right day it is by chance. All of them will be written but not by the calendar order.

Without further ado.

~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time Marinette would have bent over backwards, dropped everything, and would never have questioned her friends. But now she was turning fourteen. She has been fighting Hawkmoth for three years, with no end in sight. Her friends, if she could still call them that, behind Lila's lies and followed her like sheep. You can only push a person so far until they break.

That was what happened to Mari.

She was pushed to do dresses, suits, casual wear, and banners with little to no notice for free, without even a thank you. She was made to plan and make baked goods and food for bake sales and fun raisers for class trips, picnics, and parties that she could not attend. They spoke to her condescendingly as if she was stupid, honeyed words to guilt her to do everything while they did nothing and reaped rewards.

At the end of her 7th year, she put in a signed request (by herself and Mendeleiev) to transfer into Mendeleiev's class. But surprise surprise it was denied. Bustier, her homeroom teacher last year denied her transfer, because she wanted to keep all her students the same.

Fine if this was how she wanted to be, well she had nothing left to give.

You can only give so much before becoming empty when you never receive anything.

The first thing she did was step down from class representative. "Miss Bustier?" she stood up from her seat in the back.

"Yes." said teacher smiled at her.

"I am renouncing my title of class representative, effective immediately." she announced shocking the teacher.

Her ever present smile faltered. "Alright, would the vice representative like to take the position?" She scanned each face, but no one stood up or spoke.

"There has not been a vice since my first month three years ago, Miss." The color drained from the teacher's face.

"Oh well, you will need to continue until we have an election next week." she smiled again.

"No." Her voice turned steely. She picked up three bursting folders and dropped them on the desk. "The white folder is student medical records, allergies, cumulative extracurriculars and birthdays. The orange folder holds field trip and fundraiser applications, guidelines for applications as well as locations each student is banned from listed under the student and the location's reason. The black folder has graded homework, tests, quizzes, papers, and projects you gave me to grade. As well as lesson plans and homework you had me assemble for you."

"But... but..." Miss Bustier stood shocked, gaping between Mari, to the folders, then the rest of the class.

"Like I said effective immediately." Marinette turned and was immediately stopped by a blonde.

"Mari, please reconsider." Adrien plodded blocking her from ascending.

"Pfft. And why should I fucking do that Agreste." she side stepped him and climbed the stairs.

Eyes stared at her, as if it was the first time seeing her. In a way it was, since she had no fucks left to give to those who would step all over her.

The girls wanted dresses. She gave fee rates, appointment times and estimated finishing date. Some took her up on her like Rose, Juleka, and Alix. Kagami and even Chloe started requesting commissions.

The same with banners and suits for the boys.

Sweets from the bakery, they placed their orders and paid like everyone else.

This helped her more than most would think. Her grades and attendance improved because she no longer dropped things at the drop of a hat.

Two weeks prior, Hawkmoth went silent, now almost a year later, Paris went back to normal. But she didn't. She became Paris' Ice Princess. She kept everyone at an arms length, her trust was hard to earn, her words cut like a knife and her eyes bore daggers. Yet as both Marinette and Ladybug she is the definition of calm, collected, and serenity. Something snapped a long time ago and no one knows how or what to fix.

"We are done." Sabine was exasperated again. "We got in contact with your biological father, and he is taking you in."

"Alright." She answered, knowing best to respond than to stay quiet.

Sabine began talking again but she only half listened, it was the same as every other night after all.

---

Bruce was done just done.

Apparently his very own system, which is in theory completely perfect, is anything but, because he just figured out, he has a daughter. An adoption agency apparently had him listed as the father of a child roughly 16 years ago, that he had completely no idea of. The mother apparently wanted to keep it secret and gave up the child not even listing herself which was odd. So, the adoption agency never made that information public. However, now he’s being called by said adoption agency and the parents of the girl who is apparently his daughter.

He thought Damian was the only one apparently not.

He is currently sitting in front of the Bat-Computer nursing one hell of an incoming headache, praying that none of his boys come down and see this.

He has a daughter that is older than Damian and knowing his son he will throw a fit over this. That his claim is the only blood child is literally going down the drain.

On top of that Bruce knows almost nothing about his daughter. Sure, he looked up her and her parents other than a few contests and school there was nothing on her. No social media, it was as if it was erased from the system. Her contacts seemed almost sparse for a girl her age, that being said he does not have a good reference for that.

The fact that not even his system was able to pick up on her says a lot more than you might think. When her parents came into contact with him, he thought it was a joke, but they held firm and even sent a DNA sample of their own daughter. He almost didn’t even cross test with his own, he was disgusted with how these people treated their child this way.

Yet here he is, he tested it and he was a biological match.

The parents are transferring her custody over to him, but he doesn’t even know this girl.

Life is never dull for the the greatest detective. Even when life seems to pull things out underneath him.

So, let’s just hope he can meet his daughter while ensuring that his sons not find out before he can get a grasp on the situation.

He continued to rub at his temples and the bridge of his nose trying to lessen the pain of this migraine which was sure enough going to set in. The only reason he’s getting gray hairs is because of his children.

Now to find out what the next one is like.

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha @animegirlweeb @jumpingjoy82 @thedragonbug @astoriaandroses @icerosecrystal @t1dwarrior-of-earth @moon5606 @zalladane @midnightrosecrystal @myazael

#mbdbwm2021 #mdcu marinette #mdcu bruce wayne #bio!dad bruce wayne #maribat class salt #maribat #dc x miraculous #dc x mlb #miraculous x dc #mlb x dc

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superhero--imagines · 3 years

Text

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here!/ Part 20 Here! His POV Part 1! Here / His POV Part 2 Here! / Part 21 Here! < This is Part 22!>

Donate to Move to Higher Ground HERE!

Commission Info For Love Letters Here!

A/N: This has some NSFW themes, so if you’re under 18 don’t interact.

Also the Tag list is closed, I think this is about how many people can add for this. An alternative is to follow and turn on post notifications.

Um.. I guess this will be going on hiatus for a few weeks. I’m just busy at work, and I’m kind of out of ideas, also low engagement in the last few parts has made me feel a little discouraged.

That being said- if you order a letter with a twilight character, I’ll probably end up giving a hint for some things that will happen in the series. So if you are on the fence about getting a letter- or you just really can’t stand to wait, there’s always that option haha.

Anyway hope you like it ~

* “(Y/N).... what are you doing?”

* Muffled noise escapes you as you dig yourself deeper , drowning in his scent

* “(Y/N)”

* Your name leaves in a whisper and a smile curls onto his mouth

* “I mean how can you even see the television from that angle” he mumbles

* You sigh, your breath fanning across the lilac shirt he wore, you’re head firmly nestled in his back

* You’re in his room, lying beside him on his bed, essentially spooning him. The movie flickers on in front of you, you’re only half way through the first Harry Potter movie right now

* Honestly you’ve wanted to snuggle into Edward’s back for a while now, ever since you did it right before you both kissed for the first time

* It just feels so warm and safe here

* “I can hear it just fine” you mumble back. You feel the muscles in his back ripple as he shifts, your arm slinging over his chest.

* His hand covers your own. His hands so big it almost entirely envelops your own. And you can’t help but imagine what that hand would feel like in other places

* Tangled in your hair, trailing up and down your sides, under your shirt, dipping beneath the waist band of your shorts-

* Nope nope nope

* Gotta keep it PG 13

* He wants to go slow after all. Or at least you think he does. But well, you thought he might want to be with Bella

* And that was wrong

* Ugh, you want to pull out your own hair. how easy would it be if he could just read your mind and let you know-

* No it doesn’t work like that

* You sigh

* You have to put the work in if you want to make this work

* You have to communicate

* You stir besides him, wiggling you hand out of his and tapping the hard muscle of his abs

* Ugh, of course he’s chiseled like a statue

* Wait you’re a vampire, you tap your own stomach. It feels like a hard slab

* Well damn

* “Hm?”

* “We need to talk”

* “About what?” He asks absentmindedly, eyes never straying from the television.

* He must really like Harry Potter.

* “About sex.”

* He shoots right up. The remote falling to the ground with a clatter

* “Ah sorry, let me get that” he mumbles, climbing out of the bed to pick up the remote and put the movie on pause

* He clears his throat, sitting on the edge of the bed, a whole 5 feet away from you

* “So what did you want to talk about, again?”

* He seems so awkward, maybe you were right, maybe he does want to go slow

* But then what was with that “I’m not waiting for marriage” crap?”

* “I want to be physically intimate with you” you say bluntly

* Why did you say it like that? Like you’re some kind of scientist or something?

* *internal cringe*

* Not that he seems to care

* Edward’s grinning

* “Are you seducing me right now?”

* You’re not sure why but that smile annoys you

* You scoff

* “I’m trying to find out where you’re at, sexually speaking”

* He looks at the ground for several long seconds before finally meeting your eyes

* “So I um-“

* Okay you’re finally getting somewhere

* “I guess I have this kink where I like being called-“

* “No Edward not that!”

* You’re a little annoyed,

* But also a little turned on

* You’ll have to put a pin in that,

* oh boy, Edward with a kink.

* It’s probably something super vanilla like a praise kink

* or something cheesy like a daddy kink

* Like what are you, sixteen-

* Well, he technically is but-

* You’re getting off track

* “Do you-“

* how do you say this?

* “Do you want to have sex with me?”

* And it would sound like your propositioning him if you hadn’t emphasized the ‘want’

* You know he’s on the asexuality spectrum, maybe he just doesn’t feel like that for you

* You know he loves you a lot

* And wether or not he wants to have sex won’t change the way you feel about him,

* But knowing will help you manage your expectations

* “Why...why would you think that I don’t?”

* He looks almost hurt as he says it

* “We’ve been dating for two months and you haven’t made a move”

* Not after he said that thing about ‘Not waiting for Marriage’™

* You feel his hand cover your own, he’s still a heathy distance away from you

* But even just the touch of his hand on yours sends a shiver down your spine

* “How could you ever think I don’t-“ he cuts himself off

* His free hand moves to cradle your face, brushing hair away in that way he’s always done

* You sigh leaning into his touch

* “You’re so beautiful...so lovely.. of course I want to be closer to you in whatever way I can” his words leave breathlessly, and you can see he wants you just as bad as you want him

* “Then why-“

* “You live in my house,” he stresses. “You’re surrounded by my family, who haven’t been very subtle with how pleased they would be for you to join the family. We are literally never away from each other”

* “Do you want me to move back to Denali?” You joke and he laughs, amber eyes warm as he looks into yours.

* “I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable... or suffocated.” He squeezes your hand

* “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to, for me.. or anyone else.”

* So he’s been trying to be considerate of you

* And of the living situation

* Isn’t that just so like him?

* You feel a small smile stretch across your lips, your hand threading into his hair

* “I don’t ever feel uncomfortable, not around you.”

* And it’s true, you trust him completely.

* You know he’ll never hurt you, never

* You foreheads are pressed together, and it’s only a small shift to catch his lips in your own

* Your hand escapes from his and trails to his face, your hands tipping his head back to get a better angle

* He feels so good like this

* He would feel so good underneath you, begging you to go just a little further

* “Now I’m propositioning you” you feel a small breathless chuckle escape him

* “There’s ... another reason I haven’t brought it up” he mumbles

* You hold your breath- he doesn’t have that bubbling desire does he?

* You were right, he-

* “If we did it in the house everyone would know”

* Huh?

* Noticing your confused expression he clarifies

* “Everyone would hear it happen, and everyone would know”

* Oh

* So all this times you’ve kissed-

* And that time in the car -

* Everyone knew?

* You groan covering your face in your hands, how will you ever be able to face Carlisle again?

* “Emmett would have bought us a cookie cake-“

* You raise an eyebrow and he falters

* “He would have bought me a cookie cake...it would say ‘bye bye virginity’ in pink icing” he whispers

* And you laugh

* “That’s so wasteful”

* No doubt Edward would be too embarrassed to let their humans friends eat it - which you don’t blame him for

* “Alright I’ll try to keep my dirty fantasies to a minimum” you laugh when he tugs you into his lap

* “Oh what kind of fantasies?” There’s that teasing boyish grin again

* “Please enlighten me”

* Well, it’s only right to tease him a little after all those hours you’ve spent mulling over what ‘I’m not waiting for marriage’ could mean

* “Well they all start off with a kiss, a good kiss, the kind that makes you feel like you’re just going to melt-“

* You rest your head against his shoulder, whispering into his ear

* “And then when it’s over, one of your hands is under my shirt,”

* you gently trace up his back and he shivers

* “and both of mine are under yours”

* “And then?” His voice is low, but he doesn’t dare to look at you

* You really shouldn’t tease him this much...

* but it’s so fun

* “We kiss again, my hands tracing over every inch of you, and when we stop I unbutton your shirt, trailing kisses down your neck”

* You trail a cold finger down the side of his neck

* He lets out a low sound, akin to a whine

* “And then I’ll suck here” your finger presses lightly into the hollow of his neck before repeating the process on his collarbone “and here”

* “You look so pretty with your neck marked up with hickeys, like poppy’s blooming in snow”

* You can tell he likes it by the shiver and whine

* So he likes that sensual shit huh

* You wonder what else he likes

* “And you look so pretty Edward, breathless, with that hungry needy look in your eyes just for me”

* Your hand trails down to his chest, and he trembles as your hand moves across his stomach. Resting on his lower abdomen

* His breath hitches, teeth digging into hi plush pink lip. He’s so needy, your finger trails in absentminded circles, and you swear he whimpers

* Aw so cute

* “And that’s about it” you say bluntly patting his stomach twice before moving to get off of him

* His eyes shoot open, a frown arching onto his mouth

* You hold back a laugh

* before you can fully get off of his lap he tugs you back to him

* “I see what you’re doing” he tried to pretend to be stern but you a smile twitching at the end of his lips

* “I don’t know what you mean. That’s just where the fantasy ends” you say as innocently as possible which only makes him grin

* “I’m sorry, I know I’ve been teasing you too much”

* “Hmm have you been?” You mock confusion and he laughs again, kissing the spot where your neck and shoulder meet

* “I’m sorry I got your hopes up”

* You scoff

* “My hopes weren’t up-“ Edward tilts your head towards him and you avert your eyes

* Okay they were a little high

* He pulls you into another kiss, soft and gentle

* “I promise I’ll make all your fantasies come true soon.”

* He already has, how many dreams that you never thought you would be able to have has he made come true?

* God, you adore this boy

* “But until then you’re going to have to leave”

* Scratch that

* “W-what?!”

* What did you do something to turn him off in the last .05 seconds?

* “It’s nothing personal-“

* You’re taking this very personally

* “I just need some time alone, and maybe a cold shower”

* Oh

* O H

* “R-right, well I’ll leave you to that” you mumble, clearing your throat as you move away from him, only briefly stopping on your way out

* “I’m going to take a few of these okay?” You say grabbing the other two Harry Potter movies

* You don’t wait for him to respond, leaving the room and heading to your own

* You run into Emmett who sends you a mischievous grin

* “Hey (Y/N), what were you-“

* “Nothing you would need to a buy a cookie cake for” you say, sliding into your room

* You look down at the DVD’s

* Why did you take these? You don’t even have a TV in your room

* Meanwhile Emmett’s still in the hallway

* “How did they know I was going to get him a cookie cake?”

* .

* ..

* ...

* You’re not sure where you are at first

* It’s foggy burst of green and brown

* And then you see him

* It’s Edward

* You breathe a sigh of relief moving towards him, as long as he’s here you’re okay

* “I’m sorry-“ you stop in your tracks

* there’s someone else there, clinging to his side

* “You were right- I do love her” He says and you’re confused

* The most faded and its Bella her wide brown eyes narrowed into a glare

* “Did you think you could just steal my future away from me?” She spats at you like her words are venom

* No- of course you never meant to take her place

* But you always hoped to- didn’t you?

* The intrusive voice causes a shiver to erupt down your spine

* You walk back, feet tangling into one another

* No that’s not right, Edward loves you- this isn’t right

* That’s when you bump into something hard- immovable

* You turn to see someone else entirely

* They’re wearing a black and red cloak

* Someone from the Volturi

* You gulp hard.

* So they’ve come for you have they

* The figure moves to remove the hood of their cloak, and you feel a gasp escape you.

* It’s you

* Only your face seems...sharper somehow, even more beautiful. But in an unnatural way, devoid of humanity

* Your eyes are as red as rubies

* You fall back, your foot getting caught in a tree root

* The Volturi-you sighs, crouching down so their impassive eyes can meet yours

* “You’ve really got to get over that whole timeline” their voice is different too, an air of disappointment ringing in every word. They sound bored

* You can’t manage to string together a single thought, let alone any words

* “Well don’t look so scared. I’m here to help you know” but their smile is cruel

* “Unless you can snap out of that lovesick dream of yours and finish what you started, this is the future that’s waiting for you”

* “That’s not true”

* Carlisle saved you, Eleazer took you in, Edward gave you a new future.

* You’re never going back to the Volturi

* But the you clad in the black and red robe’s smile only grows wider

* “It’s not true for now, but how many more years do you think you can handle until you get bored?”

* “Another 20? Let’s say 50 for good measure- then what?”

* You feel like a cold finger runs down your spine, your hair standing on end

* “I think you know exactly what” the cloaked you says, their eyes are serious now as they look at you

* “You need to finish what you started-“

* Finish what? What are they talking about? What did you start?

* Noticing your confusion they sigh

* “You need to stop focusing so much on what happened in the story, and start thinking about what happened after the story”

* After the story?

* Like after Edward and Bella had Their baby?

* “Now wake up”

* The words echo in your head until you fly upright, breathing hard as you take in the space around you

* For a second you’re not sure where you are

* This is your room, at the Cullen’s house in Forks

* You’re fine

* You’re safe

* You try to regulate your breathing, attempting to calm your mind with it

* It was just a nightmare. Not that you ever remember falling asleep to begin with

* “I didn’t think I could fall asleep anymore” you whisper

* You pretend to sleep, because it feels good. But you’ve never lost yourself like that before

* It felt so real

* “Finish what I started? And then after the story-“ You feel the hair on the back of your neck stand on end

* There was something- something you had tried a long, long time ago-

* Back when you still lived in Denali

* An idea you had come across once- after Edward told you how painful it was for him to turn

* But how would you even go about proving something like that?

* And what’s what might have happened after the book series got to do with any of this?

* You sigh, your head in your arms. It was just a dream wasn’t it? A nightmare from your insecurities?

* If you just whispered his name, Edward would be beside you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, erasing all your worries

* “ Unless you can snap out of that lovesick dream of yours and finish what you started, this is the future that’s waiting for you”

* You gulp

* You don’t need Edward to coddle you through every little nightmare, you decide

* Turning in your bed, closing you eyes and hoping to dream a more pleasant dream this time But you don’t dream at all, tossing and turning until light filters in through the blinds

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#twilight #twilight imagines #twilight headcanon #twilight saga #twilight reader insert #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagine #Edward Cullen x you #midnight sun #superhero--imagines

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