#i see Red and Ethan as just Father and Son. Do not ask what made me do this but tbh it fits them somehow for me

[auras-moonstone]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ don’t blame me for what you made me do

ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.6K

ᡣ𐭩 pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!carpenter!reader

ᡣ𐭩 summary: y/n is finally able to get revenge on her sisters when the bailey family reaches out to her to ask her to join the plan.

ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: implied character death. murder. family issues. bonding over shared issues. fluff.

ᡣ𐭩 author’s note: on sunday it was scream 6’s anniversary and it made me miss that era sm😫 the fandom is so dead, especially the ethan/jack one.

y/n had always felt like an outsider in her own family. her mom’s favorites had always been sam and tara. and y/n went under her radar, the curse of the middle child, they say. and then there were her sisters, who she was also not very close with. despite having only one year difference with tara, the youngest sibling had a better relationship with sam, so y/n was also left alone in the sibling department. she only had her dad, who used to be her entire world until he packed his bags and left her behind. and it was all because of sam carpenter.

revenge is a dish best served cold, they say. and after years of waiting, the opportunity came to y/n. it actually knocked on the door of her new apartment in new york city.

“um, hello? can i help you?” the girl asked confused, seeing three strangers standing before her. one was a man around his forties, then there was a tall boy with curly hair and a red-haired girl with green eyes.

“hi, y/n carpenter, right?” the man said.

“yeah… do i know you?” y/n asked, a tad creeped out.

“no, but you knew my son, richie.”

richie, the man who used to date sam and then try to kill her. the man who tied y/n up and hid her in a closet, telling her she was going to be okay. murdering her was never in richie’s plan, and it still confused the hell out of her.

y/n’s eyes widened. “yes. i’m really sorry about what happened.”

“thank you.” the man gave her a small smile. “my name is wayne bailey, these are my children, quinn and ethan.” his two kids waved at her and she smiled in response. “do you think we could talk for a few minutes? i have something to say that might interest you.”

she reluctantly let them in, and wayne started telling her about what richie told them. how he noticed the tension between her and her sisters, how he could see the resentment in her eyes everytime she looked at sam, how sometimes they became murderous too.

“i don’t know what to tell you… what’s this all about? why are you here?”

“you see, y/n, your sister murdered my son. the light of my life, and i want her to pay. and by what richie told me, i think that’s what you want too.”

that captured her interest. “sam is the reason my dad—the only person i was close with in that damn family—left. so, whatever you have planned, count me in.”

“are you okay?” y/n asked ethan, who looked very deep in thought as they entered the dorms building. they had just came from a meeting at wayne’s house, and ethan had been dead silent the whole way back home.

“i just… aren’t you scared? that things won’t work out and we might end like every other ghostface?” ethan was very expressive when he talked, he talked with his whole body, especially his hands. the maniac hand movement showed y/n that he was very anxious about the whole thing.

during the time she had spent with the baileys, she had reached a conclusion—wayne and quinn were all for revenge, it was clear they were furious with sam. and ethan, although he truly loved his brother and hated sam for what she did, was in on the plan for the mere purpose of pleasing his dad.

richie had been the favorite, and ethan wanted so bad for his father to see him like he once saw his brother that he was willing to sacrifice his life for it. y/n understood that feeling of wanting to belong more than anyone else, which was why she had connected with ethan in a way she never thought would be possible.

they became each other’s comfort, each other’s safe place when things got overwhelming. it really sucked to fake being wary of him, to act like she was trying to keep her distance because—like the rest of the group—she didn’t trust the new members, when it reality she just wanted to wrap her arms around his frame.

“i won’t let anything happen to you. even if i have to take a knife to the heart to make sure you get out of this alive, i’ll do it. i can promise you that.”

ethan shook his head. “but that’s exactly what i’m worried about. something happening to you. the thought of getting out of this without you… fuck, that can’t happen, y/n.”

y/n had seen ethan being vulnerable, he let himself be like that around her, but this was the first time she had seen him cry. it was a sight she never wanted to see again.

she carefully brush his tears away. “okay, then we’ll have each other’s back, okay? please don’t cry, you’re killing me.”

“i’m sorry, i’m just really scared.” he hid his face on the crook of her neck and took deep breaths to stop the tears.

“don’t be sorry. never apologise for feeling, especially to me. it just makes me sad to see your pretty eyes with tears, but i get what you say.”

“i don’t want to go back to the group.” he pouted.

y/n chuckled then checked her smartwatch. “it’s late. chad might wonder where you are.”

ethan groaned. “i don’t care. i’ll tell him i was at study group. can i stay here for a bit?”

“you’re a little obsessed with my presence, landry.” she joked.

“and what if i am?” he said before letting out a nervous laugh.

y/n took him in. his strong arm was settled on the back of the couch, right next to her head. his temple was resting on his closed hand and he was staring intently at her with those killer deep brown eyes. he was so beautiful and she was so weak when it came to him. and fuck if his full lips didn’t look so inviting.

her index finger lifted and it was soon tracing the shape of his lips. they felt as soft as his cute curls. “then we’d be on the same page. because i’m a little obsessed with you.”

ethan’s arm left the back of the couch to end up around the back of y/n’s neck, pulling her close. her shaky hand found its way to his hard chest, right where she could feel the thunderous beats of his heart, which only became more erratic when their lips finally met.

“mmmh, wanted it so bad.” he said between kisses. “we’re not going back to being just friends right? because i can’t handle that.”

“are you out of your mind? no way. you’re mine and i get to kiss you whenever i want. well, whenever i can.”

“yours. fuck, that sounds so good.” he hummed contently. “it’s going to be so hard to hold back from you.”

“but then, when we finally get to release the tension, it’s going to be so good, don’t you think?” she smirked.

“you drive me insane.”

“right back at you, pretty boy. i don’t think you realize how powerful those puppy eyes of yours are.”

ethan’s blood rushed to his cheeks and y/n giggled like a schoolgirl. her chest felt like busting. she was finally happy. truly. the 6 foot two brunet boy lying beneath her was her one source of happiness, and she was not going to let anything take him away from her.

y/n stood in her ghostface costume in front of her sisters. she was practically bouncing on her feet, excited to reveal herself and see the look on the girls’ faces. ethan, who had already shown his face, had the biggest smile. y/n was so adorable he had to close his hands in a fist to fight the temptation of bringing her into his arms.

“ready for the last surprise?.” wayne asked.

“come on, babe.” ethan squeezed her waist and y/n took the mask off. her sisters stepped back in shock, faces tinted with hurt.

“how could you?” tara spat as tears fell from her eyes.

y/n rolled her eyes. “oh, cry me a river.”

“why would you do this? is this all because of him?” sam pointed her head at ethan. “what? you fell in love and he brainwashed you into becoming a killer?”

“do you think i’m stupid? of course not.” she scoffed. “i mean, i did fall in love with him, but that’s besides the point. they came to my door a few days after we moved.” and she told them how she came to work with the baileys. “i waited years, and now… i can finally make you two pay for how shitty you’d always made me feel.”

“what are you talking about? we’re your sisters, y/n.”

y/n glared at tara. “you have some fucking nerve. you’ve always made me feel neglected, until sam left town. we started to bond, but as soon as she was back… you forgot about me. how can you even say you’re my sister?” she yelled in anger. ethan took her hand in comfort. “and you?” she looked at sam. “you’re the reason my dad left, and i swear to god i’m going to show you exactly how badly that hurt.”

“you crazy bitch. you’re insane.” tara screamed at her.

ethan slashed her stomach in fury. “watch your fucking mouth when you talk to my girlfriend!”

“let’s just get over with this. y/n deserves a break.” quinn said.

the carpenters sure put up a fight, y/n was the one who got most of the wounds, but they had managed to succeed. wayne and quinn left to take care of gale and mindy while ethan stay behind taking care of his girlfriend.

“are you feeling alright?”

“don’t worry, eth. they’re bad, but not that bad. i’ll for sure live.” she reassured him. “we made it. i told you we would.”

“you did.” he laughed, and then hugged her tightly. “you scared me so much, though. i really thought i’d lost you when i saw you lying on the ground.”

“i could never leave you.” she brushed her nose against his and whispered against his lips, “i love you. thanks for walking into my life.”

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry fic #ethan landry oneshot #ethan landry scream #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry fluff #scream fanfic #scream iv #scream 6 #ghostface #jack champion #jack champion x reader #jack champion x y/n

[elisysd]

Prologue

Masterlist - Next

For as long as Julia could remember, Ethan had always been around. Born just a few weeks apart, in the same classes from kindergarten to the last year of high school and living just a few streets away from each other with two friendly families, they were bound to grow up together. It was not unusual for the Leclerc family and the Verstappen to invite each other to their houses for dinner. Their parents secretly hoped that their children would get along.

Julia - 8 years old

“Where are we going, daddy?” asked the little girl to her father who was looking at her tenderly.

“We are going to a karting competition! Just the two of us. I want to spend time with my princess.”

She was excited, it was not every day that she had the occasion to have a moment with only her dad. What Charles failed to mention to her was that they were watching Ethan. It was his first regional competition and a few years ago, Max and Charles had decided to partner into creating their own karting team. Charles already had his but had welcomed Max’s investment with open arms. So naturally, when Ethan turned his hobby for racing into pure passion and showed a real talent for it, he got a spot in the team.

Charles was excited to see him race and gave him his best piece of advice along with Max, under the jealous eye of Julia. How dare he? Taking her father away from her? No, he was her dad. Hers only. Powerless, she watched her dad ignoring her for the rest of the day, too busy cheering on Ethan and supporting him. And when he won, her dad had a big and proud smile on his face, one that was usually only destined to her.

Everything had always been an excuse to bicker, at best, and fight, at worst. The last piece of bread in the cafeteria? A speed contest. An important maths test? You could be sure to see the lights on in their bedroom windows late into the night.

Slowly, over the years, the rivalry had turned into visceral hatred, much to the dismay of their parents, who wanted nothing more than to see their children at least tolerate each other. While Julia had always lived in her father's shadow and had often suffered because of her family name, this was not the case for Ethan, who had very quickly understood how useful it could be to be called Verstappen.

Julia -12 years old

She was proud of her art project. The teacher had asked them to make a vision board and to put their biggest dreams on a huge cardboard. The instruction was clear: Think big, don’t be afraid of your dreams. So that’s what Julia had done. She painted it red, added pictures of her dad during his career with his World Champion trophies and with the Ferrari cars. No one could be mistaken, she was a Ferrari girl. In the centre of the page, written in big capital letters we could be read: WORKING FOR FERRARI. Her teacher was a bit surprised and Julia could feel the judgement in her eyes.

“Is that your dream?” she asked her.

“My biggest one.” answered Julia.

“Well, that’s unusual to say the least. Don’t you have other dreams?”

Julia pointed to her dad and what was written under his picture. Making daddy proud. She heard the other students laughing and a voice that made her shiver with disgust.

“You are a girl. You can’t do that.” Ethan commented.

When his time came, he was being praised for wishing to make it into F1 and being a world champion. Her teacher didn’t hesitate to say that it was what she meant when she said to not be ashamed to think big. Julia swallowed her pride and silently swore that one day she would prove them all wrong.

At first, Ethan only used his name to attract the good favour of his teachers and avoid detention, but the older he got, the more it became an ideal way of attracting girls. And this had deeply annoyed Julia, who saw it as an injustice. Why was everything excused for Ethan because he was Max's only son, and why, because she was Charles' daughter, was she made to understand that she had to work twice as hard as the others to prove that she deserved to succeed?

Julia - 16 years old

Usually, she loved Greece. She loved history and she loved architecture. She also loved going on holidays with her family. What she didn’t love, though, was how her parents had the wonderful idea to go to Santorini with the Verstappens. It was only supposed to be the Norris, the Gaslys and them. The Verstappens were a last minute decision after her dad had come home after his morning run with Max and the idea had popped in his head. The sun must have shone a little too bright on her dad’s head for him to have an idea this stupid.

What were highly anticipated holidays for her became dreadful ones. And it didn’t make it any better, when her friend Daphne, who was like a cousin for her since she was Lando’s daughter, confessed to her after a day spent on the beach that she had a crush on Ethan.

“He is bad news Dane…” Julia told her.

“But he is so handsome! Have you seen his abs? He is like the definition of a Greek god!”

“Ew… Gross!”

“Oh Ju’, surely you’ve noticed. You might not like him but you are not blind!”

She was not. Ethan was good looking, she was willing to admit it. Not out loud though. But she knew how much of a player he was and she didn’t want Daphne to get her heart broken, which would inevitably happen if she started to fall in love with Ethan.

Of course he noticed it and of course what Julia was scared of seeing happen, ended up happening. One day, Daphne went into Julia’s room, late in the night, waking her up. Her cheeks were red and she had a big smile on her face. She sat on the bed as Julia lit up the room.

“Ethan kissed me.” she whispered.

“He what?” repeated Julia, in disbelief.

“It was so romantic, we went to the beach to watch the stars and he kissed me. I couldn’t have wished for a better first kiss. I’m in love, Julia.”

Two days later, she burst in Julia’s room again but this time her eyes were puffy and red.

“I saw him kiss another girl. Right in front of me… And… and when I confronted him he said that it was never serious and that I shouldn’t have grown attached. And… and then he left with the girl, Julia!”

Julia knew that it was not the right time to say ‘I told you so’. Instead, she took her friend in her arms and let her cry on her shoulder. Later that day, when she saw Ethan laughing with her dad and Pierre, she went straight to him, daggers in her eyes and pushed him. It was so unexpected that Ethan wobbled.

“What is your fucking problem?” she screamed at him.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Ju’, calm down…” her dad stood up and calmly asked her.

“Don’t ask me to calm down! Daphne is crying because of him!”

“She needs to get over it.” said Ethan, shrugging.

“You broke her heart! You knew she had a crush on you and you played with it!”

“I was clear with her. I told her that it was just us having fun, she knew that. It’s not my fault if she grew attached. She knew my intentions.” he justified.

“Dad? Uncle Pierre? You can’t be on his side!�� she turned to the two adults.

Pierre threw his hands in the air, as to silently say that it was not his problem as Charles was trying to think of a way to calm the situation down.

“Well, I don’t know about anything that happened. I wasn’t there and no, I don’t want to know. But it seems more like an Ethan - Daphne problem than yours Ju’.”

“She came to me! She was crying! Of course it’s my problem now!” said the teenage girl.

The fight was so loud that it attracted everyone’s attention. Soon, all the families that were inside the big rented house came to see what was happening. Julia explained the situation, asking for Daphne to say the truth. The girl was so mortified that she denied everything, preferring to protect Ethan and tell everyone that it was her fault, that she had been stupid and that he didn’t do anything wrong. Julia was so angry that she spent the last few days of the holidays in her room, not wanting to see anyone. Once again, he had won and once again she looked like a fool in front of everyone. That was the day when she decided that there would never be any kind of redemption for Ethan in her book.

Fortunately for her, the more the years went by, the less Ethan was part of her daily life, far too busy with karting competitions, and later F3 and F2. Julia, for her part, had continued her studies, specialising in engineering so that she could work alongside her father, who had become Scuderia's team principal a few years earlier. For the time being, however, the young woman, now 23, was working with Skoda in the hope that in the near future her father would finally agree to let her work with him.

What she dreaded, on the other hand, was meeting Ethan's smirk as he was beginning his third year with Maserati. She knew she was going to run into him, it was unavoidable, but she hoped he wouldn't make it any more painful for her than it would be for him. For everyone's sanity, she knew that the less she saw of him, the better off she would be.

But Julia knew that she hadn't worked so hard, sacrificing her student life by refusing to go out in the evening, spending sleepless nights in front of graphs and mathematical equations, just to let her life be ruined by the son of Verstappen. Besides, they were both 23 now, they were mature adults. The kid games were over. Or so she thought.

Author's note: It's here! It's finally here! The prologue of Gold Rush. I'm so, so happy. I hope you will love it as much as I do. I can't wait for you all to read more about Julia, Ethan and their friends. Also I you want to know more about the Santorini holidays and read Daphne point of view, @smoooothoperator wrote this amazing piece. 💛💛

I can't wait to read your thoughts about it, so don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist: @herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #max verstappen #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #f1 story #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Bumping into each other at Coney Island (maybe the first time Midge meets Kitty?)

Coney Island is beautiful in May, and Midge takes advantage of the nice weather to sneak the kids out for a day, just the three of them.

No Joel. No grandparents.

And the kids are so well-behaved. She gets them treats, and they just wander around, playing games, watching the world happen around them. Esther waves to one of the mermaids, and Midge laughs, kissing her cheek.

"Mama, do we have to go on the Wonder Wheel this time?" Ethan whines. "I don't want to."

"No, we do not," Midge tells him, taking his hand with the one that isn't helping to balance Esther on her hip. "They got a beanbag game, you wanna play a beanbag game?"

The little boy nods, smiling wide and Midge lets him drag her along, standing behind her son while he plays, putting down money to pay for the turns.

Next to Ethan is a little blonde girl, her nose a little red from being in the sun, her big green-brown eyes squinting as she throws a beanbag, trying to get it into the hole.

She manages it and jumps up and down, turning around. "Daddy, did you see?!"

A familiar voice responds. "Yes I did! Way to aim, Kit!"

When Midge turns her head, there's Lenny, wearing dusty jeans and a plain t-shirt, hair nowhere near as styled as she's used to seeing it, squinting in the sunshine, smiling proudly.

At the little girl who is likely his daughter.

And Midge feels deeply like she's intruding. They're back to being just friends, and that's been...fine. It's not what she really wants and she suspects it isn't what he wants either, but for the past few months it works. Sort of.

Aside from all of the rushed kissing and that one time they had sex in the bathroom at Troubadour after her set.

But sure, friends.

When Midge looks back, Ethan has thrown two beanbags into the hole.

"Way to go, Baby!" Midge crows, bouncing Esther on her hip. "You see your big brother? He's doing great!"

Esther joins in. "Yay, Eefan!"

It's Lenny's turn to notice, she knows. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see his head turn quickly.

"How'd we raise a couple athletes?" he quips, grinning at her sheepishly.

"Oh, this is all his father," Midge responds. "Joel is going to be so happy that once Ethan gets older he can sign him up for baseball." She smiles at him. "Hi."

"Hello," he grins back. "Nice day for a trip to Coney Island, huh?"

Midge shrugs. "It must be."

The little girl next to Lenny tugs on his hand gently, and he looks down at her, his attention completely drawn away from Midge.

"Daddy, who's she?" the little girl asks.

"Oh, this," Lenny responds, lifting the little girl into his arms. "Is my friend Midge. And her kids. Midge, this is Kitty."

Midge beams. "Hi, Kitty. This future all-star is Ethan, and this one is Esther," she tells them, bouncing her daughter again.

Kitty waves. "Hi."

"Hi," Ethan chirps. "Mama, can I get a snoopy for my price?"

"You get whatever you want, you won," she assures him.

Kitty lights up. "I wanna snoopy too!"

Lenny chuckles. "Then you go right ahead."

After that they just sort of...fall in step with each other. Ethan and Kitty walk ahead of them through the park, holding their snoopies and chattering with each other, while Midge still carries Esther and walks with Lenny.

"She's sweet," Midge smiles.

"Yeah, who knows where she got it from," Lenny jokes. "She's here for the summer, actually. School let out, so..."

"That's great," Midge tells him. "And she's already made a friend. Maybe we can set up a playdate for them." She stops, pursing her lips. "Unless that's too much."

"Nah, it sounds good," Lenny assures her. "I gotta get used to the whole domesticated dad thing, right? Be a responsible parent who doesn't jus feed his daughter licorice for dinner."

Midge wrinkles her nose.

"What, you don't like licorice?" Lenny asks, playfully affronted. "No wonder we never dated."

"Is that why?" Midge ponders. "Good to know."

He hesitates for a moment. "Actually we didn't date because I am truly a coward, and I was afraid of letting you too far into my life."

Midge frowns as she watches the kids closely, moving swifter to catch up with them. "Why?"

He shrugs. "Because- because what if you got a good look and decided...with the arrests and the other...things...that it wasn't...that I wasn't..."

Midge is about to respond, when her mom alarm goes off. "Hold this," she says hurriedly, dumping Esther into Lenny's arms and dashing after Ethan and Kitty. "Ethan! Do not punch that clown!"

Lenny sighs softly and looks at the little girl in his arms. "I think your mother might have superpowers, sweetheart."

The little girl just slumps against him and sighs.

*****

They all get hot dogs for dinner, after convincing Ethan not to punch any more clowns. They sit at a picnic table as Midge tucks napkins into the collars of all three children.

"Ethan, why did you try to punch a clown?" Lenny asks, genuinely curious.

"Pop says they're monsters," Ethan replies earnestly.

Lenny blinks and turns back to Midge. "Your ex is afraid of clowns."

"Deeply."

"If we ever do actually manage to date, I'll have to remember that," he chuckles.

"Wanna?" Midge asks, grinning at him, lifting a challenging eyebrow.

Lenny regards her seriously for a moment as Kitty accidentally dribbles mustard on his pants. "Thanks, Kit," he chuckles, reaching for a napkin to wipe it off.

She giggles. "Sorry, Daddy."

"It's fine," he assures her.

"Kitty, you really like your dad, huh?" Midge asks.

The girl lights up and wraps her arms around one of Lenny's arms. "He's the best!"

Midge smiles slowly. "I'm starting to think so, too."

Lenny gazes back at her, with that almost-sad look like someone's just squeezed his heart a little too tightly. "If I take you to dinner some night, you got a babysitter I can use?"

"Several," Midge tells him.

He nods. "Good. Good."

Midge smiles slowly, and without look at her son, says "Ethan get the hot dog out of your nose."

"Sorry, Mama."

"Sure you are."

#fic #au #tmmm #Midge/Lenny #Midge x Lenny #and the kids

[libratalks]

Reviewing films: "First Reformed" (2017) dir. Paul Schrader

Letterboxd: @librafang. 4/5 ✩

An incredibly well-written and well-balanced film that explores grief and bereavement, how it influences life and death, and the relationship between Christian Fundamentalism and (aspects of) ecoterrorism. It is chilling, it is dark, and it is dreary. Mostly because it is just "so real." Before I delve into my favourite parts of the film and what elevated it for me, I need to voice my appreciation for the screenplay. Most movies I consume and end up loving, the appreciation has hardly anything to do with the dialogue... Perhaps it doesn't take much to impress me in terms of that, and it is hardly the first thing I notice in a film; the dialogue paired with Ethan Hawke's delivery and especially during the voice overs, it all helps compose a sense of dread and "despair" - a key theme throughout the film.

Colours used within film is almost like a language to me, and the uses of white/blue/red only help with exaggerating a specific world surrounding Reverend Toller, who we see only dressed in dark colours (that being mostly black with his clerical collar) - perhaps he is the despair in a nationalist world, the mention of the American flag prevalent throughout the film and losing his son in Iraq being a key staple of identity, or perhaps it is the deepening of the colours blue and red once his health begins to deteriorate and the narrative begins to darken, especially with the reds being brightest at the time of Michael's death. It's almost ironic how the use of this softly transitions you from the Reverend Toller that speaks of having hope when there is despair and that you cannot have one or the other, to Reverend Toller that falls into Michael's pit of despair and cynicism.

On that note, I'd also like to make the point that Schrader is a genius for playing on the trope of "transference" where after Michael's death, we see Reverend Toller descend into despair but also, we witness his rise and fall within environmental activism and the supposed teasing of ecoterrorism. The slow zoom into the suicide vest when he peers at it on his bed is a genius tactic, paired with the sound, to convey a sense of absent doom. All of this highlights that "transference", as we see Reverend Toller shift into Michael's psyche. Bear in mind, Toller isn't the most hopeful or righteous man either... We see him struggling with his faith and health, so it's not like he's incredibly different to Michael. But the transference is subtle in its transition yet deep in its depth, and that's what makes it key.

Perhaps it is blame that causes Toller to delve into the transference from Michael, as mentioned by Apple-Pie-Man where he condescendingly asks Toller to reassure if Michael shot himself after he counselled him, or perhaps it's a loaded gun full of purpose and reason, and as a man of faith (something not entirely constructed by his own choice as his father and grandfather were pastors/reverends) that is exactly what Toller has been reaching out for. "These kids, they want certainty" comes into play here in regards to Toller's new obsession and drive, showing that this "certainty" is what can cause our downfall. This is where we witness Toller's "new form of prayer."

The only thing that stops me from giving this film 5/5 is the ending... I don't know why, I thought I'd enjoy the sudden drop of the dreadful and the confirmation of hope against despair in Mary's character (ironic that she's named after the Virgin Mary) however it just fell flat and I think Schrader emphasises that with the way the film abruptly cuts and ends. Apart from that, however, it's brilliantly made and is a film I can see myself thinking about every now and then.

#blog entry 3. #letterboxd #film review #paul schrader #first reformed #first reformed review

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Ethan [Oc Kuroshitsuji]

Saiko_Sensei

Summary:

Life and death of Ethan Sutcliff.

An Oc inspired by the kuroshitsuji universe.

Notes:

Hi <3

This is the first chapter of this fic, the second will be about Ethan's life as a shinigami and more.

Thanks for your attention

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

In the city of Strasbourg, France; It was inhabited by a bourgeois family, its heritage consisted of a large chain of high quality wines, which made it popular among upper-class people, raising the status of the family that owned that brand, the Sutcliffs.

That couple, after having opened a couple more stores with their famous wine, had their first child, whom they named Ethan Sutcliff, he was a red-haired boy, with white skin and blue eyes, almost identical to his mother, Helen.

The redhead had a normal childhood, in addition to being full of luxuries, Ethan never lacked for anything to be honest, he was lucky to have been born into a family with a high socio-economic status, in addition to being the pride of his parents clearly He had a normal life for his kind.

Twelve years had passed, Ethan showed to be a quite intelligent and talented boy, at his age he could already play the piano and do some paintings, mostly landscapes, although these were not entirely perfect as his father said, he wanted and had to. trying so much harder, Ethan loved seeing his parents smile when he accomplished something new.

"Ethan, darling, come" his mother said with a smile on her face, which confused the boy "We have something very important to tell you"

"What is?" He looked at her mother with some curiosity.

"You'll have a little brother...or little sister, she's in here." Helen pointed to her belly happily.

Ethan was silent, he didn't understand what that was, he agreed without much emotion to the news. What should he think?

The months passed as usual, with the difference that his parents received many visits most days, even from his grandparents, he did not see them very often.

He wondered why everyone was so happy, was it because of that little brother that his mother mentioned? He never asked about that subject again, he still didn't understand.

(....)

One morning on October 10, little Ethan woke up, he heard a lot of screaming around the mansion, he was a little scared, he took one of his favorite stuffed animals and went downstairs, finding his parents looking at something that was on the arms of his son. mother, were surrounded by the servants and their nursemaids.

"Mom Dad?" he asked confused.

"Congratulations young Ethan! Your little brother is very cute" said one of the babysitters.

"Little brother?" The little one approached his mother, climbing on the sofa, he was surprised to see the little baby playing with his mother's fingers.

"His name is Grell, he's your younger brother... you'll have to teach him a lot of things, you can also play together..." he smiled.

"Grell…" he stared at his brother in silence for a while, blinking repeatedly as Grell grabbed his hand and toyed with it, making him laugh "Grell!" He laughed again, excited at last.

Helen looked at her husband happily, she was happy with her son's change of attitude, she knew very well that both of them would be almost like best friends when they were older, that's what she hoped for her children.

Over time, Ethan and Grell got along, despite being 12 years apart, that didn't stop them from telling each other everything, even what bothered them.

Grell was just 6 years old, Ethan turned 18 by then, the oldest noticed something curious about his brother, it seemed that Grell liked toys for girls more, whenever they walked around the city, the little one was perplexed admiring the pretty dolls porcelain and several stuffed animals too pink.

Ethan thought this was mere curiosity, like any other infant Grell's age.

"I wish I had a dress... as cute as the ones mom wears!" He laughed enthusiastically.

"What?" Ethan looked down after hearing Grell's comment.

"Yes!" He stated again "they are very pretty! Especially her red dress!" She smiled.

"I see…" Ethan laughed nervously, deciding to ignore that conversation.

(...)

"Ethan for God's sake! You knew this moment would come soon! You're already twenty years old!" Helen exclaimed.

"Mother, I will not marry that woman out of convenience, I do not love her and she surely does not love me either, it is a no!" She screamed.

"Ethan Sutcliff" said his father seriously, frowning "The preparations are ready, tomorrow we will have a meal with your fiancée's family, even your suit is ready and.." he fixed his gaze on his son's hair "Cut it hair, long hair only looks good on women" He snorted.

Ethan clenched both fists of his hands, he felt powerless with that decision, he just wasn't ready and less so with someone he didn't know, he agreed to his parents' words and went to his room.

Once inside he just locked himself in and fell on his bed, he couldn't cry even if he wanted to.

'You're a man, men don't cry'

His parents' words echoed in his head.

Marriage.

Before, he dreamed of meeting a woman who really appreciated him, it was already too late for something like this to happen, there was already another one waiting for him at the altar and he couldn't back down.

He heard the door open, he was about to scream, until he noticed how his younger brother went up to his bed, it seemed that he was crying, as well as scared.

"Grell?" Ethan sat on his bed and hugged the little redhead "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Grell hugged Ethan tightly "Were you fighting with mom and dad?"

She sighed and bit her lip, she didn't know how to explain to Grell what was going to happen in a few weeks.

"Grell, look…" I take a breath "Soon me and… a woman will get married, I'll probably go live somewhere else…"

"No! You can't go!" She cried.

"It won't be bad... I'll come to visit you, I promise you Grell" he tried to smile "please don't cry... hey, I have something for you, I didn't have a chance to give it to you before..." he moved the little boy aside, he went to one from his drawers and pulled out a medium box from it, handing it to Grell.

The redhead took the box something curious, seeing the cover his eyes lit up, he began to smile and laugh as he opened the box, it was a doll that both had seen a few weeks ago, obviously, despite being a rare taste, Ethan would consent Grell to the end of his days, no matter what.

"Thank you Ethan! You are the best" she hugged that doll tightly.

"I'm glad you like it…" he laughed and carried his brother "Come, you have to go to sleep, it's too late to be awake"

Oh it was going to hurt Ethan to leave Grell alone in the absence of his parents, babysitters could also be cruel, that's why he very rarely left him with those women, only when he definitely couldn't take care of him.

(...)

Ethan, 30 years old, married, no children yet, now suffering his second headache, he had had enough marrying that woman, now not only her, but their parents prayed for them to have a child, Ethan always denied or just asked for more time, he would never be ready for that.

One of the few things that calmed him, besides smoking, was Grell, who despite the years continued to have strange or very feminine tastes, despite that, he continued to judge him, he supposed that one day he would get over it, Grell had 18 years old at the time, his way of speaking and walking was more like that of a woman, Ethan told him many times that he would change that for his own good, but the minor never listened to him.

"Ethy! look look!" Grell pointed to a display case full of heels "they're so cute!"

"I guess so…" he sighed, taking another cigarette from his pocket, Grell took it from him and threw it in the trash "What do you think you're doing?" He frowned.

"I'm taking care of you silly, that can kill you, even make you sick! Your wife should give you this lecture, not me" he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, which made the older man laugh.

"You never change, do you?" Tousling the minor's hair between laughs, that made Grell angry, who combed his hair again.

"You always tell me that, I don't see anything wrong with me" she pouted.

"Oh if I just told you" he sighed "shit, I have to go, this crazy woman told me we're having dinner with her parents, I'll see you later" she said goodbye and ran away.

(...)

Just turned 32 years old, Ethan felt that the whole world was closing in on him, after so much insistence, his wife gave birth to their first daughter, they called her Geneviève, honestly Ethan was not at all happy, luckily his daughter was so pretty like him, that made him feel proud, he would try to be a good father, she wasn't partly to blame for his problems.

He already had a job in his parents' wine and other liquor company, he was not at all attracted to the idea, he never liked alcohol, despite being addicted to tobacco, but he had no choice, that would be his inheritance the day his father died.

He was calm in his office, a few weeks had passed since the last time he spoke with Grell, suddenly he received a call, he answered while smoking.

"What's going on?" She sighed.

"Son.." It was his mother's voice, it seemed that she was crying "Grell... the... Grell committed suicide"

Ethan's cigarette fell to the ground after those words.

"What?" You could tell the fear in his voice "that's impossible, Grell wasn't that bad in the head...was he? Where was he? Why didn't he call me all this time?" She tried not to yell into the phone.

"Your father sent him to one of those places where they heal people... you know... Grell liked men, he was insane! We couldn't let him ruin his life! I found him putting on my dresses and wearing my makeup!" " Helen exclaimed with some anger and sadness.

"What the hell did they do to him?! Those places are purgatories! You guys killed him!" He screamed and hung up the phone, fell into his chair, crying, he hadn't cried since he could remember, Grell was dead.

"If only…" she bit her lip angrily, slamming the table a couple of times "Damn, I should have helped him…" she ruffled her hair as she lamented "I could help him… I could accept… whatever he was. . I don't understand.."

(....)

Grell's funeral had arrived, Ethan was the only one who attended, what's more, thanks to Grell he had a proper funeral, his father completely refused to spend more money on that son who only brought him disappointments.

Ethan still couldn't believe how cruel his parents must have been to his poor brother, it wasn't his fault that he was different, even though he himself didn't understand why Grell was like that, but he simply ignored that so as not to do it. feel bad.

He sat near Grell's grave, he put some roses on it, he wiped his tears and gave a long sigh, he was about to light a cigarette, but he remembered how much Grell disliked him, he threw the box away, he He stayed there, reflecting, he couldn't regret it anymore, he could never revive his brother, he had lost him forever, perhaps in another life they could find each other.

"I'm so sorry Grell, I didn't take enough care of you, I was and still am the biggest idiot in the world"

He thought in complete silence, got up and sighed, gave a slight bow and then left the cemetery, walking alone to his house.

He was received by her daughter, that girl was already about five years old, she hugged her father with affection, Ethan returned her hug, he was not happy anyway.

He left his daughter aside, she looked at him confused, she did not understand what was bothering her father, he was always somewhat distant with her, even though he was present all the time, sadly she returned to her bedroom.

Ethan entered his study, locked the door, he didn't want to deal with his wife, or with anyone, he was still hurt, he couldn't believe that Grell would no longer be around, he had no idea how to heal that pain without smoking, a promise that ended breaking a moment later, he couldn't help it.

(....)

"Ethan you have a problem" his annoyed wife told him "you reek of cigarettes. Aren't you thinking about our daughter? She probably hates that part of you too"

"It seems you realized it very... very late" he sighed wearily "Did Grell's death matter to you? How did I feel? Of course, you didn't care at all, it didn't affect you directly" he rolled both eyes and continued smoking His wife smacked his hand, dropping the cigarette, Ethan frowned.

"What do you want to achieve with this? You know I have many boxes full of cigarettes all over the house"

"I didn't even meet your crazy brother, I was disgusted Ethan, didn't you see how he walked and talked? It was annoying" he sighed "stop smoking, that won't make him come back"

"Dad mom?" Geneviève entered the room, she looked scared, despite being used to her parents' fights, she didn't like the shouting "Is something wrong?"

Ethan looked at the minor, with the same tired expression "No, we're just talking, go to sleep, it's too late, you have to study tomorrow.. "

Geneviève nodded slightly, ran to her father and hugged him, she felt that he needed a hug, even though it was not reciprocated.

"I love you dad" she said with a small smile on her face, she kissed his head "sleep well" after that, she went back to her room.

Ethan was silent at that moment, he rubbed his head lightly, perhaps he lacked some affection, but that was the least that mattered to him in life, he didn't think about it anymore.

His wife continued to yell at him about all the bad things he had done throughout their lives, of course, he ignored her like he always used to.

(...)

It had been 3 years since Grell's death, Ethan was already around 35 years old, he felt extremely tired of everything, things were still not getting better in his life and he still hadn't gotten over the death of his sister or brother, he wasn't sure how to call him, Grell never had the opportunity or perhaps never decided to explain how she identified herself or how she came to feel.

The red-haired man thought daily about dying, it seemed strange to him on the one hand, but he had lost the meaning in his life, he never felt fulfilled or happy since the day he was forced to marry for convenience, besides his daughter, that little girl was too Sweet, he didn't deserve her daughter, he never learned to be a good father, an affectionate one at least, he was only in the shadows, from afar celebrating Geneviève's small and insignificant achievements.

His eyes were marked by dark circles, he hardly slept, that day or night, he didn't even remember the time, almost nothing, he looked like a living dead.

The only thing he was sure of was that he was in his office, with a set of knives in front of him, on his desk.

He took the last cigarette he found in his pocket, he took almost all the time in the world to finish it, once he finished, he put out the little content of the cigarette that was left.

He took a pen and paper and began to write, a letter specifically for Geneviève, asking her forgiveness for not being the father she deserved and a couple of other things that might help him in the future, when he finished he signed and closed the letter.

Fixing his gaze on the set of knives again, he picked up one of these and stared at it for another long time.

"I'm definitely an idiot, god, even he himself wouldn't forgive me, I guess there's more room in hell.."

He gave a long sigh and plunged that knife into his chest, he bit his tongue to avoid screaming, he continued to stab his own chest, over and over again, probably that would leave a wound, a very big one.

Ethan's body fell on the floor, with the knife still stuck in his chest, everything continued in silence as usual in this place.

Chapter 2: After life

Summary:

Ethan's life as a shinigami and his reunion with his sister.

Chapter Text

Ethan woke up, in what seemed to be a hospital, he couldn't see well, everything was blurry, he felt lost, at least not so tired. How had he survived? it was impossible, the medicine at his time was horrible, he was much more certain that he had died. Was that what hell was like, then it wasn't so bad for him.

A moan came from his lips, his chest hurt too much, he looked at it, noticing the almost huge scar that was on it or that's what he thought, he couldn't see anything, it seemed strange to him, he never had vision problems.

"It seems that you are already awake, welcome, Mr. Sutcliff" a male voice was heard entering that room, that man put a pair of glasses on the redhead, clearing his sight.

"Hey?" Ethan didn't understand a thing "Thanks.. How did you know he needed glasses?" He said curious "besides..where am I?" He looked around.

"We will have to explain several things to you, first of all…" the man sat next to her, he seemed quite tall and perhaps of a somewhat older age "From now on we all identify ourselves with a specific number, I am 136649, some they call me Undertaker" he smiled.

"What?" Ethan hadn't understood a thing at all.

Undertaker laughed "Look, you committed suicide, in your record it appeared that you stabbed a knife several times in your chest, now I understand that wound you have on your chest, it doesn't look bad"

"How do you know that? Wait…if I killed myself and…you know…I'd practically be dead? Is this a dream?"

"No, unfortunately" he sighed, his smile disappeared for a moment "You know? I was also in your place centuries ago.." he left the papers on the table "Just as confused, another old man also explained this to me that I will tell you continued" he smiled, as if it were a happy story "There are the gods of death, shinigami, how can you tell him, they were all human once, they committed suicide, this is a punishment for all of us, there is a supposed forgiveness, but I have known few who have managed to rest.."

Ethan was even quieter after that story, he immediately thought of Grell, what if he was there too? His eyes filled with hope, which Undertaker noticed almost immediately, making him laugh.

"Is there something on my face?" He grimaced.

"No... not at all... it's just that... I had a... a sister" he sighed "He also committed suicide, he's younger than me... or was" I rubbed one of his arms.

"As it is called?"

"Grell, Grell Sutcliff, redhead, low status... she has freckles... her voice sounds strange sometimes" he laughed at that memory, the truth hurt him.

"I'll try to find her in that case... if she's still in the French office, some rookies are sent to other cities, London for example" he smiled

"I see... I hope he's still here" He frowned slightly.

Undertaker laughed at the lipstick's expression, nodded slightly and got up, said goodbye to Ethan and left the room, a couple of nurses entered after albino left.

(...)

Five months had passed since Ethan's arrival in the shinigami world, the redhead had a good performance in the academy, he was a very intelligent man after all, he spent most of his life locked in rooms reading thousands of books that he probably still remembered .

Thanks to that, he managed to graduate earlier than the others, they considered him someone gifted, not only because of his intelligence, he was also attractive, that was said by several people with whom he had spoken at some point, it was something charming.

"How is there no place for me?" Ethan said somewhat annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Sutcliff, the office and the collection area are overstaffed, you will hardly have a paid job, you have to wait" the secretary told him from her cubicle.

Ethan sighed with some anger "I see... whatever, I'll be back" he turned around and began to walk along the corridors.

He sighed heavily, adjusted his glasses again, in all those months he had not found any information about Grell or his whereabouts, that also bothered him and a lot, he even thought about giving up, he would probably never see Grell again.

"Sutcliff?" Heard behind him, Ethan turned to see "Wow, it's been a while since we've seen each other, you look better" he smiled.

"It's good to see you again..." Ethan bowed slightly "Now I know you are one of those legendary shinigami"

"That's right, I don't really like that title, but well" he laughed lightly and approached the redhead "Shouldn't you be working?"

"Yeah, but there's no room for me apparently, I don't know what to do" He frowned and crossed both arms.

"I see... I think I have a job right here for you, come follow me, I'll help you with that" he started to walk, the opposite followed him at a fast pace, that old man walked very fast.

They both arrived at the library after a few minutes, Ethan looked around somewhat confused, he didn't understand exactly what they were doing there.

"There are not many shinigami who work in the library, it may sound stupid, but this work is also important, all the cinematic records of important humans for the world and of the majority of shinigami that still work here are stored here, including yours" he explained.

"I see…" Ethan sighed and walked into the room with Undertaker.

"Your job here would be to make sure that everything is in order, it is difficult for a demon to enter here, it has been more than 40 years since one of those accidents occurred... even so, you have to keep your guard up" he smiled, climbing the bridge of his glasses.

The redhead nodded "I guess I can do this, it's nothing to write home about…" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Perfect, in that case, you can start now, let me introduce you to the others"

(....)

A few years had passed, Ethan's life as a shinigami was relatively normal, nothing new, his job at the library was not complicated, the only thing that could ruin his day was other rookie shinigami, causing trouble or being noisy, he couldn't stand it for nothing, his patience was also lacking.

The legendary shinigami used to live him from time to time, sometimes he brought him gifts, small things; that old man had become one of his best friends, the only person he could trust at the moment.

Obviously he still had no news of his sister, until one day, he was called by his superiors, he didn't know why.

Once he was in the office, he took a seat, in front of him was one of the various heads of the French headquarters, next to him was another tall man with black hair.

"Sutcliff, I present to you the head of the London headquarters, William T. Spears, he is here to collect some cinematic records, some shinigami will be transferred to London shortly"

Ethan looked at the manager with curiosity, he felt a very cold aura from him, he nodded to his superior's words.

He left that room with the black-haired man, who hadn't said a single word at the moment, the red-haired man was beginning to worry.

William sighed once they reached the library, looked around, then returned his gaze to the redhead.

'Sutcliff' that last name gave him thousands of headaches. Was this other man related to the headache that lived and worked with him in London?

"Mr. Spears, here are the books, I'll get a cart to carry all this, these books are old, they can be damaged very easily" Ethan sighed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Said the older with a slight tone of concern in his voice.

"What thing?" The redhead raised an eyebrow, more curious.

"Do you have family around here? Other shinigami... you know"

"I'm not sure if she's in this world too" he sighed "My sister, she had a sister when she was human... she committed suicide in a psychiatric hospital"

"I see...I guess she's tall, redheaded and really, really annoying...right?"

Ethan laughed at Grell's description, he nodded as he moved the books from one side to another "She was like that! She's very silly...does she even know her...?" His eyes sparkled with hope.

"Yes, to my bad luck, I was his partner in the academy and now I am his boss at work"

Ethan almost dropped his books after that confession, he put them on the cart, took a deep breath, sat on a chair near them both, smiled slightly and looked at William.

"Is she alright? Do you think I can visit her? I have so many things to tell her... a lot and... apologize, I should have been there for her"

"If you want it that way, I'll take you to London with me to help me organize all this, I hope that Grell also collaborates, it will serve as punishment"

(.......)

Ethan arrived with William at the London office, he felt his heart beating anxiously after years, he felt alive, being able to meet his sister in another life was like a gift, this time he would take care of her, it was his responsibility as the brother major, would not fail again.

It was a matter of seconds before the famous redhead tried to hug and kiss her boss, clearly William dodged Grell quickly, the redhead complained as she fell to the ground on her face, screaming.

Ethan frowned at William's action, shook his head and got down on one knee, took her sister's hand and helped her to her feet, Grell was pouting, not realizing who had helped her .

"Grell... are you okay?" Ethan checked his little sister's face, worried and happy at the same time.

"Hey?" Grell looked at the man in front of him, his eyes widened, they began to crystallize, tears were already threatening to come out of them "Ethan...?"

The man mentioned smiled excitedly, he hugged Grell, she returned the hug, they both felt complete.

"I missed you, Grell, forgive me, if I had found out before what our parents did to you... I would have saved you" he sighed.

"It doesn't matter" he smiled "I think they did me a favor, I couldn't be happy there... here... they accept me... well, some" he crossed both arms.

"You can tell me everything, come with us, I need your help"

Grell nodded and followed both men to the library, on the way, she explained to her brother what was really happening to her, she was a woman, she felt calm confessing everything to her brother, he understood her since she was little , even if it was in secret, but now their parents were not close and never would be, they were free of all prejudice.

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#black butler fanfiction

[mynameisjag]

I honestly wonder what chris reaction would be when he realize who ethan is in the father!wesker AU.

Your writing gives me life btw 🙌💕

This kinda follows that one drabble about Wesker finding his son's body.

Also thank you!

Also, also! Please check out @sjjdkdkwo who started the whole dad!Wesker!

Chris could not be blamed for not connecting the two, what should have been very obvious, dots together.

For him, Ethan Wesker was a child that was lost to the memories of the past, he had been so sure that the child had been…taken…in the events of Raccoon City when he been left with a sitter at the time…

He remembers chubby little cheeks, tiny hands that were into everything and curious questions about anything and everything. There is a ghost of fondness that flits through him as he can easily recall watching Albert leaning back in his chair with the small child curled up to him, both seemingly napping away.

He didn’t question when the kid never came back up, how does one ask your former boss turned evil villain that wants mankind dead if his son is still alive? A brief thought about the young Wesker had came up after…recovering…Jill, knowing she had mentioned remember everything during her time with the man.

When asked…she just looked sad and said Ethan never came up…so both had assumed…the worse had happened years ago and they had missed part of their little pseudo family disappearing in the tide of horror.

Before he could see how a young Ethan could have became the Ethan Winters he knew today…he could see that connection…

Standing in the burning husk of a base, he could also see how he was also very much his fathers child…

“People just don’t stay dead anymore, do they?”

Ethan doesn’t respond to his light jabbing, simply staying back and observing him with red and yellow eyes, hands in his jacket pockets, and appearing as calm as can be. Dressed in the same clothing he had died in as though mocking the Capitan in a silent pointing toward his failures.

“Can’t fucking believe I missed all those signs…”

Mia was too good at keeping things a secret…she had have known…he wonders if she made it out of the destruction…or if the madness finally took her…

In the distance, he can see black shapes scurrying over rumble like over large insects…the screams had gone silent by now and his injuries, though not life threatening, would not help in fighting the man before him.

Ethan tilts his head, turning slightly at the sound of a chopper arriving, its not one of Chris's…

“Do you remember what I said when I first got here, Chris?”

He did but he was shocked at the time to see someone he had considered a recently deceased friend just up and walking up to a supposedly hidden base and making demands that he couldn’t remember the exact details…

“You showed up and demanded Rose back…”

God…he hopes she’s okay…

“Yes…but I also said I didn’t want to fight…”, finally he refocuses on Chris, eyes seemingly filled with an expected sadness, “I just wanted my daughter…”

“So you decided to destroy everything and everyone around you to do it?! People are dead, Ethan, good people!”

The chopper is getting closer…

“I still don’t want to fight…but really…are you surprised with everything that has happened with those who tried to hurt my family in the past…I gave you a choice…I came peacefully…those so called ‘good’ people didn’t want to let her go and you agreed with them…when you knew what they were planning…”

“They didn’t deserve to die!”

“And Rose doesn’t deserve to be turned into a weapon! My daughter shouldn’t have her life planned out by some assholes who just want her as a tool for their plans!”

Chris wasn’t going to let them, he swore it…but these things took time and the chance that she was…a second Eveline…couldn’t be looked over…

The father took a deep breath, closing his eyes and forcing himself to calm down before turning back to see how close his lift was, “I’m not fighting you…Rosie is waiting for me…and I’m going to do my damnest to keep your people and others from hurting her…from using her…”

Anything else was drowned out as his ride landed, the doors opening and a familiar face stepping out with a smirk and Rosemary Winters making grabby hands at her missing dad.

It took less then a second for Ethan to rush over and take his daughter back, tears rolling down his face accompanied the watery laugh as he held her close and gently kissed her head, “Hey, sweetheart, did you miss me?”

She just giggled and kicked her feet in excitement, small hands grabbing at any piece of clothing she could cling to.

Albert Wesker just gave a slight nod over to the brunette, “Redfield,” that was the only acknowledgment he gave before climbing back into the transport.

Ethan glanced back though, “Goodbye, Chris…please don’t look for us…we all are safer if you stay away…”

Then…they were gone…disappearing out of Chris’s life once again…he had never felt emptier…

#resident evil #ethan winters #chris redfield #albert wesker #rosemary winters #dad!wesker #baby!ethan #drabbles #everybody scream about your emotions now!

[seaweed-brain2-0]

Not only is it Percy Jackson's birthday today, it is also Percabeth's (12th??) Anniversary, so here are some of the best Percabeth moments in PJO and PJO alone. [The light blue is just me being me]

“You drool when you sleep.” (obviously)

“Me, go with you on the… the ‘Thrill Ride of Love’? How embarrassing is that? What if someone saw me?” (It was at this scene when I knew, these two would be my comfort couple in the future)

“I don’t know what my mom will do, I just know I’ll fight next to you.” “Why?” “Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”

Annabeth’s shroud was so beautiful—gray silk with embroidered owls—I told her it seemed a shame not to bury her in it. She punched me and told me to shut up. (ah, young love)

PERCY CARRYING AROUND ANNABETHS PICTURE IN HIS NOTEBOOK TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT SHE WAS REAL no i’m not taking this one straight from the book, the paragraph is too long.

But whenever Annabeth talked about the time she spent with them, I kind of felt . . . I don’t know. Uncomfortable? No. That’s not the word. The word was jealous. (and it still took him four years to realize he was in love with her??)

She looked good. Really good. I probably would’ve been tongue-tied if I could’ve said anything except ‘reet, reet, reet’.

She tackled me with a hug, then pulled away just as quickly. “I’m glad you’re not a guinea pig.” “Me, too.” I hoped my face wasn’t as red as it felt. (nine year old me is SCREAMING)

“I’ll get us back to the ship,” I told her. “It’s okay. Just hang on.” Annabeth nodded to let me know she was better now, and then she murmured something I couldn’t hear because of the plugs in my ears. (THE INTIMACY)

The crowd cheered. Annabeth planted a kiss on my cheek. The roaring got a lot louder after that. (THEIR FIRST KISS DFGHJNBGVFDFGH why am I still fangirling over this, I've seen them kiss a billion times-)

“Um, who should I ask?” She punched me in the gut. “Me, Seaweed Brain.” “Oh. Oh, right.” (✨slow dance✨)

[Aphrodite] When she smiled at me, just for a moment she looked a little like Annabeth. (I repeat: AND IT STILL TOOK HIM FOUR YEARS TO REALIZE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER????)

“You didn’t believe I was dead?” “Never.” (I believe I was dead at this point)

“I, uh, was thinking we got interrupted at Westover Hall. And . . . I think I owe you a dance.” She smiled slowly. “All right, Seaweed Brain.” (✨slow dance✨ part two *more screaming*)

“Think positive. Tomorrow you’re off to camp! After orientation you’ve got your date—”

“It’s not a date!” I protested.”It’s just Annabeth, Mom. Jeez!”

“She’s coming all the way from camp to meet you.”

“Well, yeah.”

“You’re going to the movies.”

“Yeah."

“Just the two of you.”

“Mom!”

She held up her hands in surrender, but I could tell she was trying hard not to smile. (this whole scene deserved to be in here and you know it)

“Hey, it’s . . . it’s okay.” I patted her on the back. I was aware of everything in the room . I felt like I could read the tiniest print on any book on the shelves. Annabeth’s hair smelled like lemon soap. Behind me, somebody cleared his throat. It was one of Annabeth’s half-brothers, Malcolm. His face was bright red. I stepped away from Annabeth “We were just looking at maps,” I said stupidly. (imagine falling madly in love with Annabeth Chase and not knowing it until she kisses you, couldn't be me 😐)

Annabeth glared at me like she was going to punch me. And then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me. (*screaming intensifies*)

Annabeth and I pretty much skirted around each other. I was glad to be with her, but it also kind of hurt, and it hurt when I wasn’t with her, too. (I've just given up on screaming at Percy for not realizing his feelings sooner 😐🔫)

Annabeth wiped a tear from her cheek. “I’m glad you’re not dead, Seaweed Brain.” “Thanks,” I said. “Me too.” (you know what I'm not glad about? Beckendorf's death 😃👍🏽)

We locked eyes. I thought of a different time last summer, under Mount St. Helen's, when Annabeth thought I was going to die and she kissed me. She cleared her throat and looked away. “Prophecy.” “Right. Prophecy.” (ahaha pain)

Malcolm grinned at me. “We’ll wait outside while you finish inspection.” The Athena campers filed out the door while Annabeth cleaned up her bunk. I shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against camp rules for two campers to be . . . like, alone in a cabin. That rule had come up a lot when Silena and Beckendorf started dating. Anyway, for some strange reason I was thinking about this as I watched Annabeth straighten up. (fOr sOmE rEaSoN)

“Hold on, Seaweed Brain.” It was Annabeth’s voice, much clearer now. “You’re not getting away from me that easily.” (*sobs*)

“I’ll go with Percy,” Annabeth said. “Then we’ll join you, or we’ll go wherever we’re needed.” Somebody in the back of the group said, “No detours you two.” (stop saving the world and go make out 🙄)

Before I could lose my courage, I said, “Don’t I get a kiss for luck? It’s kind of a tradition, right?” I figured she would punch me. Instead, she drew her knife and stared at the army marching toward us. “Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we’ll see.” (AND COME BACK ALIVE, HE DID)

“You’re cute when you’re worried,” she muttered. “Your eyebrows get all scrunched together.”

“You are not going to die while I owe you a favor,” I said. “Why did you take that knife?”

“You would’ve done the same for me.” (HOLY F U C K)

I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. But this was Annabeth. If I couldn’t trust her, I couldn’t trust anyone. (goodnight.)

I glanced back. Annabeth was trying not to meet my eyes. Her face was pale. I flashed back to two years ago, when I’d thought she was going to take the pledge to Artemis and become a Hunter. I’d been on the edge of a panic attack, thinking that I’d lose her. Now, she looked pretty much the same way. I thought about the Three Fates, and the way I’d seen my life flash by. I could avoid all that. No aging, no death, no body in the grave. I could be a teenager forever, in top condition, powerful, and immortal, serving my father. I could have power and eternal life. Who could refuse that? Then I looked at Annabeth again. I thought about my friends from camp: Charles Beckendorf, Michael Yew, Silena Beauregard, so many other who were now dead. I thought about Ethan Nakamura and Luke. And I knew what I had to do. “No,” I said. “I’m honored and everything. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just . . . I’ve got a lot of life left to live. I’d hate to peak in my sophomore year.” The gods were glaring at me, but Annabeth had her hands over her mouth. Her eyes were shining. And that kind of made up for it. (THIS WHOLE SCENE RUINED MY PERCEPTION OF MEN. THEY ARE, IN FACT, NOT AS PERFECT AS PERCY)

“I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.” When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body. (I'M MELTING)

We held hands right up to the moment they dumped us in the water. Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey—when you’re the son of Poseidon, you don’t have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time. (DFGHJHGFDFGHJNHGFDFGHJNBVCFGHJMNBVCFKIJUHYGT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER RECOVER FROM THIS ITS TOO PERFECT GOODBYE FOREVER)

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #happy birthday percy #pjo #hoo #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #rick riordan #riordanverse

[jamespotterthefirst]

Queen Bree HC please for dad Ethan and literally everyone drooling for him. And of course, Lilac, too.

Anon, thank you so much for this! I hope I did okay!

First Grade Field Trip (Headcanons)

It's ridiculous how many PTA parents and teachers try to persuade him to chaperone the field trip to the kids' museum

The morning of, Lilac teases him and tells him it's because he's too good looking for his own good

Ethan has gotten better about teasing her back throughout the years so he pulls her to him from behind and kisses her neck. Then, he tells her, "I'd ask you to go instead but some of those parents are just as crazy about you."

Lilac rolls her eyes and teases, "So you're taking the bullet for me? What a gentleman."

But little Dolores, nicknamed Lolly, is at the table, eating the pancakes her mother made (because her father is good at a lot of things but NOT making pancakes.) She hears her father suggest that her mom go to the field trip instead

And no offense to her mom but she prefers it so much better when her dad goes

"You have to come with us, Dad!" she protests. "No one explains the science displays better than you."

Lilac feigns offense but she gets it. Ethan used to take her on museum dates all the time and whenever she wasn't trying to distract him with very passionate make-out sessions, she did find his insight interesting.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Ethan assures her, ruffling her hair slightly. "If I'm not there to explain the difference in Upper Jurassic rock formations, then who? Noah's dad?"

Father and daughter snort at that ridiculous notion.

They spend the next fifteen minutes fixing and packing their lunch (brie cheese, baguetta, crackers, prosciutto, cashews, cucumbers, grapes, dried apricots, and chocolate-covered cherries. Ethan calls it a charcuterie to-go. Lilac calls it grown-up Lunchables.)

While Lilac drops the twins off at day care and heads into work, Ethan, Jonah, and Dolores set off to school.

The effect is immediate when they arrive.

Ethan rarely drops the kids off but when he does, he attracts attention.

Jonah is used to it and only sighs

Dolores wonders why everyone looks at her Dad with such interest.

Ethan is lasered focused on dropping his son off at his classroom before he meets Lolly's class by the buses.

Jonah's teacher actually chokes on her coffee when she sees Ethan. She recovers hastily, though her face is bright red and she stumbles on her words.

Lolly's teacher is much older, and as such, much subtler. Though Ethan has caught her quietly assessing him with approval.

They board the bus and Ethan is way too tall for it. He would have preferred to drive to the museum but his daughter insisted they go on the bus. And who can say no to the face?

Lolly sits with her friend, Charlotte, and Ethan has to find a seat nearby.

Several of the single moms look up hopefully.

One even makes her kid find a different seat.

Ethan finds an empty row and much to his relief, another parent (Noah's dad) comes to his rescue by sitting next to him. It turns out the guy is actually pretty decent.

But Ethan's worries are far from over.

The single moms follow him like vultures, feigning interest as he explains the Muscular System in the rock climbing section.

“It was awful nice of you to help us chaperone,” one of them says when she manages to get his attention at lunch.

Ethan doesn't smile, merely nods once. “My wife was busy today, otherwise it would have been her.”

The woman bristles slightly at the mention of his wife. Which is ridiculous because the gossip among the parents is widespread. Everyone knows Lilac and Ethan are happily married.

“There's nothing that comes before my children. I have to ensure their safety during field trips.”

Ethan doesn't miss the implication.

“I understand,” he returns dryly. “But then again, you're not a world renowned doctor who has to meet a deadline for her upcoming book.”

“Yeah,” Dolores adds cheerfully from a seat nearby. “Mommy is famous!”

The PTA mom, whose name Ethan did not bother to catch, gives them a forced, almost pained smile before getting lost.

Despite the speed at which gossip travels, some of his admirers are not deterred by the less than pleasant encounter.

One of them catches Ethan by surprise when she compliments his hair.

Ethan doesn't breathe a sigh of relief until later that day, when they're finally back at home recounting their day to Lilac.

“Oh!” Dolores adds as the excited conversation draws to a lull. “Jenny's mom told Daddy she liked his hair.”

Lilac raises an eyebrow. “Did she now?”

Ethan blushes.

“Yeah! She said it like you say it sometimes.”

Seductively. But Lolly is too young to know that.

Lilac lifts her gaze to meet Ethan's.

“And what did Daddy say?”

“He said 'thank you!'” Lolly supplies.

Ethan opens his mouth to explain under Lilac's expectant gaze.

“I was... not expecting that. It caught me off guard.”

Lilac's eyebrows only climb higher up her forehead.

Later when Lolly goes off to play with her siblings, Lilac says, “Jenny's mom is desperate.”

“It was—”

“And a liar.”

“Pardon?”

“Your hair is ridiculous.”

Ethan blinks.

Then he smirks.

He can tell she's joking, but despite the jest, she is still a tiny bit jealous. With a laugh, he pulls her close, her back against his chest. “That’s not what you said last night.”

“I say a lot of things when my mind is elsewhere.”

“Namely on my mouth and what it had the pleasure of doing.”

She turns in his embrace, finally joining in his laughter.

 He kisses her because she's crazy if she thinks there'd ever be anyone else

Notes: LMAO this might as well have been a fic. Oh well. I don’t know how to do HC and that this point I’m afraid to ask.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far!

___________________

Perma Tags (All Works/Edits)

@openheart12, @takeharryandgo , @aestheticartsx, @rookie-ramsey , @utterlyinevitable, @doilooklikeiknow, @snesdudes, @paulfwesley, @nikki-2406, @mvalentine, @casey-v, @blossomanarchy, @rookieoh, @lucy-268, @maurine07, @bellcat2010 , @iemcpbchoices , @potionsprefect , @heauxplesslydevoted , @writinghereandthere , @schnitzelbutterfingers , @gryffindordaughterofathena , @lovingramsey , @udishaman , @forallthatitsworth , @canigetanawwjunk, @thegreentwin , @blainehellyes , @parkerattano , @lady-calypso , @nazarihoe , @rookiemarsswiftie , @queencarb , @fayeswiftie , @trappedinfanfiction , @alina-yol-ramsey , @chasingrobbie , @ashiiknees , @professorkingslay , @whimsicallywayward15 , @mysticalgalaxysstuff  , @bluebellot ,  @sophxwithers , @interobanginyourmom , @mercury84choices , @drariellevalentine , @caroldxnvxrs, @gardeningourmet , @enmchoices, @ethanrcmsey,  @choices-lurker, @beebubbly, @irisofpurple, @queenrileyrose , @checkurwindow ,  @codykosuckmytoe, @choiceskatie , @dorisz, @glamtori, @lsvdw-blog, @anntoldst0ries , @itsjustwinter, @natureblooms24, @mainstreetreader, @imnazarihoe , @messrprongs

Except Bryce x MC: @openheartthot , @casey-v , @binny1985 , @tsrookie, @perriewinklenerdie , @drakewalkerfantasy , @choices-lurker , @uneravine , @danijimenezv ,

@choicesfanaf (except Bryce x MC/ Blaine x MC)

Open Heart- Ethan x f!MC Only

@octobereighth,   @helloblueeyedcat , @genevievemd ,  @stygianflood , @ohchoices,  @choicesaddict5   , @aworldoffandoms, @mysticaurathings , @myusualnerdyself , @ruinedbypixels, @custaroonie, @jooous, @aarisa-frost, @oldminniemcg , @toadfrog26 , @honeyandsunfl0wers , @jens-diamondchoices , @nooruleman , @choicesreal , @anastasiaxsworld , @stateofgracious , @vi-writes-stuff , @panda9584 ,  @imrookieramsey , @shanzay44 , @actuallybored , @iloveethanramsey , @kimmienen , @numiiworld , @sarah-carina , @headoverheelsforramsey , @coffeeheartaddict, @silma-words , @choicest , @estellaelysian, @tinkertailorsoldierspy,  @somersetmummy, @mayarambles, @starryeyedrookie , @chaoticchopshopheart, @writer-ish

@ink-spilled-stars, @smilex1104, @whenyourheartskipsabeat, @kalinahonore, @wingedhairstylemusicweasel, @pixelnutrookie, @edgiestwinter, @pixelnutrookie, @sweetheartdetectivex @chemist-ana, @emmasumbrella 

@riyana, @quixoticdreamer16, @mrs-ramsey, @mypsychiccroissantshark

#ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #open heart #playchoices #Headcanons #my writing

[spidernerdsblog]

Match made in Hell : Prologue

A/N : Well this series will be hella angsty. Hope you like this. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Mob! Tom Holland x Reader

Summary : you always wanted a simple life but to be born as the daughter of a dangerous mobster turned out to be a curse for you. Everything changes when your father gets your lover killed and forcefully marries you off to another mobster as a part of a deal. You hate your father and your husband the only thing you seek is now revenge. Will you ever be able to fall in love again or this burning hatred inside you will consume you?

Warnings : 18+,mentions of blood, murder, death, misogyny, implied sexual theme.

SERIES MASTERLIST

It’s the middle of the night as you sneak out from the backside of the dingy motel you and Ethan chose to hide for two days before catching a bus to Virginia. You were headed to the NY port bus terminus as you cautiously walked through the dimly lit alleyway. Both of you carrying a duffel bag in your hand as you briskly walk down to the main street.

"Ethan come on'' you whisper yell looking back to your boyfriend who was walking right behind you with whom you have planned to elope and start a new life away from your father's clutches who happens to be the mafia king of Northeast United States and wants to forcefully marry you off to another mobster of Europe to expand his territory and grab hold on their turf.

"Y/N are you sure your dad will not find us trying to flee right under his nose?" Ethan asks nervously. You smile softly as you put down your bag. Your hands reach up to his face cupping it gently.

"Don't you worry honey. I have a friend over there who has made all the necessary arrangements. In a few hours we will be in our paradise far from all of this. Just you and me, baby."

"But what if your dad already knows about us and sent his men to kill me."

"By the time daddy will come to know about us running away he will have nothing to do. He has no power in the southern states so we will be safe." You press your forehead on to his before stepping away from him and are about to turn around to resume walking but then the inevitable happens.

BANG! a gunshot was fired from a near distance.

You flinched at the deafening sound and felt something graze past you as some viscous liquid splattered on your face. You run your hand through your face to find blood stains and look at Ethan with horror in your eyes, a bullet has punched it's way right through his chest causing a hole in its wake as blood oozed out, his white shirt slowly turning scarlet red.

"Ethan!! oh my god!!" you gasped and rushed to him. Ethan felt dizzy, his vision going blurry as his body began to collapse. You quickly hold on to his weight slowly crouching down to kneel on the pavement placing his head on your lap.

"No! No! No, This can't happen!" You didn’t know what to do as you franctically pressed your hands together on the wound on his chest trying to stop the bleeding, tears running down your cheeks.

"Mija" your throat went dry at the deep voice. You turned your head to find your father standing all tall and powerful, face expressionless with his hands stuffed inside his pockets and right by his side is your step brother Julian. In no time his hunch men surrounded the area.

"Daddy he's dying do something please." you sobbed.

"You shouldn't have tried to run away Mija or else poor Ethan would have been alive to see tomorrow's daylight."

"C'mon now get up." He reached out his hand to you.

"What? No! Daddy please help him. He'll die. I'll do whatever you say, marry whoever you want but please save him." You begged him as fat tears rolled down your cheeks.

"It's too late for that Mija. You should have known well that after your engagement you are just a safe-keeping of the Holland's for us. Son-in-law is really upset with your behavior. He is the one who helped us track you down."

"Jules at least you try to understand." You turned to your step brother in despair.

"Enough sister we have to go, we don't want the whole NYPD chasing us for a petty collateral damage." he says sternly.

"You already are a big disgrace to the family. Thankfully my step brother-in-law is very generous to accept you even after all this."

"No I'm not going with you anywhere, either you shoot me like him or else I'll do it myself." You scrambled up back on your feet and with a swift move snatched the gun from the holster of one of his men standing near you. You pointed the gun to  your head holding onto the trigger.

"Y/N Martinez enough is enough! Drop the gun now!" your father commands agitated.

"No!" you shakily press the trigger a little more as tears pricked your eyes.

"You'll not do that Y/N." your father warns again.

"Oh hell I'll do if I don't get to live with the love of my life then you will not get what you want." you spat trembling in rage.

"Y/N no.. No" Ethan croaked in pain, the angry demeanor you had softened at his voice.

"Ethan, honey.. " you dropped to your feet kneeling beside his weak body.

"if you die then I die too." You sniffled. Ethan threaded his fingers to yours.

"No, Y/N you - you have to live. For me. Promise me."

"No" you whimper.

"Promise me Y/N, this-this is my last wish" He took large gulps of air while he spoke. You screwed your eyes shut feeling helpless at the given moment.

"I-I promise Ethan." Your voice quivered.

"I love you Y/N.." he smiled weakly as his voice trailed off as it was becoming difficult for him to breathe.

"I love you too baby." You sniffled. Ethan's eyes were droopy as he struggled to stay awake. He was barely breathing.

"No, no Ethan, stay with me please." you clutched onto his hand desperately. He swallowed his last breath of air before succumbing to eternal sleep in your arms.

"Ethan?" you shake his lifeless body. "Ethan wake up!!" all was in vain as Ethan's limp body lay on the pavement.

"Ethaaan!!!" you wail.

"Take care of the body. I need to handle my ever rebellious daughter." your father ordered.

"Okay boss." one of his capos obliged.

"Now c'mon and let's get you prepared for your husband." your father grabbed on to your arm.

"No,no,no" you try to grasp onto Ethan's lifeless body. Your father ripped you apart from his body forcing you to stand up on your feet.

"It's your last week with us anyway, spend some time with your mother, make some happy memories, she will miss her only daughter the most."

"Happy memories?! You took every ounce of happiness from my life, you are a monster! You all are! I hate you!" you screamed struggling hard to free yourself from your father's firm grip.

"One day you'll know everything your daddy did was for your own good. So stop fighting and do as you are told like a good girl" Your father and brother Julian dragged you to the car. You were a walking dead when you reached your home which seemed a prison to you now. Your mother came rushing to you.

"Oh sweetie you're safe. Thank god I was so worried." she wrapped her arms around you in a hug.

"Mom.. Ethan.. He's gone." You broke down in her arms.

"It's ok sweetie. Don't worry everything will be fine. You are my strong girl I know you will get through this" she cradled your face pecking your forehead trying to console you.

"Ask your daughter to stop acting like a brat and learn how to be a good wife to her future husband and tend to his needs. Don't want the Holland's point fingers at us saying we didn't raise our daughter right."

"Why did you do this Victor?"

"After so many years are you questioning your husband Rosette?"

"No, I'm questioning a father and how could he do this to his only daughter?"

"She brought it upon herself." your mother was about to say something but was cut off by your father.

"No! I don't want to hear anything more about this. Just do what I said." he says sternly.

******

"The Martínez's will arrive in a week, start making all the necessary arrangements."

"Once the deal is done you will be taking over our family business son are you ready to sit on this throne?" The senior Holland asks his eldest son Tom in the presence of his younger twin sons Harry and Sam and Tom’s future consigliere and best friend Harrison as he stood in the middle of the spacious conference room patting on the big leather chair placed right in the middle of the wooden round table from where he has been running this empire all these years commanding men to do all his dirty work and sealing fate of people who didn’t comply by his wishes.

"Always ready dad." Tom stood tall.

"I know you are, my son. This is the day I have been waiting for all my life."

"Okay now enjoy your last few days of freedom of a bachelor before you are a married man." he pats his shoulder proudly and was about to leave the room but turned to him again.

"One more thing you need to keep a tighter hold on your woman from now on Tom. Her carefree days are over, she needs to be made aware of her responsibilities including giving the family an heir."

"Yes dad."

As his father leaves with the twins Tom slumps down on one of the chairs with Harrison beside him. He lets out a long sigh taking out his phone.

The first thing he does is open your Instagram page and go through your pictures which has turned out to be a habit for him for the last three years. Harrison was sitting beside him as he saw your pictures too. Some were with your college friends, some you attending one of your dad's galas in the prettiest designer dresses and some bikini clad sunkissed aesthetic pictures of you on vacation on some exotic island. Tom thought you looked unearthly in every picture but his mood would go sour seeing the comments below of several guys objectifying your body. He felt like hunting them down and chopping off their fingers with which they typed such lewd comments.

Though he himself wasn’t a man of high morals either drinking, gambling, bringing in girls every night in spite of being engaged to you though each night he wished it was you on his bed, not some random hooker he picked up from the bar. He is well aware that you don’t like him and despise this whole marriage. But he has nothing to worry anymore now because in a few days you are going to be his for lifetime. And he is confident that he will win you over eventually.

"I see why you are hell bent to marry her, she's a siren." Harrison remarked snarkly, breaking Tom from his thoughts.

"Hopefully she sounds like one too" Tom chuckles.

"But you really want to spend the rest of your life with her? She doesn't seem to be the one to follow rules."

"She's always been a wild horse since childhood that is why I like her even more and trust me wild horses are more fun to tame Haz. I can assure you in no time she'll be roaming around like a puppy around me."

"And how do you know you'll be able to tame a headstrong girl like her?"

"That will not be an issue because once I make sure that my child is inside her she will have nothing to do." He smirks. "Motherly instincts, you know how that works. After all, she's a woman. How much ever she hates me she will never separate her child from his father."

"And once I will have her father removed from the picture and taken over their empire she will have nowhere to go."

"You know she'll hate you more than she already does after you kill her father."

"Her father is no less than a monster. I will be doing her a favor actually." Tom once again glances at a portrait picture of you.

"Princess your kingdom eagerly awaits your arrival." he mutters to himself with a smug grin on his face.

.................................................................................

Taglist in bio or just send an ask or dm I’ll add you

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland and reader #tom holland angst #tom holland and y/n

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

"I always just rode the waves,” Rebecca Ferguson says with a shrug. The comment hangs in the air, as if the Anglo-Swedish 37-year-old is only now processing that a combination of currents and tides has led her not just to an acting career but to the brink of big-screen stardom.

“I’ve never been ambitious,” she says. “I’ve always thought that that was a bad thing.” She’s seen others in the industry consumed by constant striving and asked herself why she hasn’t hungered for fame since childhood, slept in cars outside castings, barged into directors’ offices or thrown herself in the path of a producer. “But should I not be burning for this? Out meeting people and networking for the next job?” says Ferguson, who has chosen the sort of quiet, private life outside the big city that so many actors claim to crave. “My life just took another turn. But I’ve always thought: Am I where I should be?”

At the moment, on this late July day, Ferguson is slumped in the backseat of a Mercedes-Benz sedan, crawling through rush-hour traffic on the M4 out of London. She is capping off a hectic week during a particularly busy period. Most immediately, she’s coming from a table read for Wool, the Apple TV+ adaptation of Hugh Howey’s bestselling postapocalyptic trilogy. Ferguson is both the star and, for the first time, an executive producer. “I’m sitting in all the different rooms, listening and learning like the students,” she says. She’s filming Mission: Impossible 7, her third tour of duty in the long-running series that first brought her widespread recognition. She’s also promoting the film Reminiscence, the sci-fi noir written and directed by Westworld co-creator Lisa Joy in which Ferguson stars opposite Hugh Jackman. And now she is starting a press push and festival prep for her role as Lady Jessica ahead of the much-delayed release of Dune (in theaters October 22), director Denis Villeneuve’s reimagining of Frank Herbert’s novel. “After this film, I think everyone will see what I see in her,” the filmmaker says. “She has a beautiful, regal, aristocratic presence, elegance. But that was not the main thing: The most important thing for me was that depth.”

After tracing a long, meandering path, Ferguson has landed in a rare and rarified position: ascendant in her late 30s (still an anomaly for women in the film industry) and sought after by some of the biggest names in the business. “When you meet Rebecca, you just see it. She’s very open, candid, collaborative, hardworking, funny—and not pretentious,” says Tom Cruise, who handpicked Ferguson to star opposite him in the Mission: Impossiblefilms, which are known for their demanding shoots. “She just rose to the occasion every single time.”

In February 2020, when the pandemic began, Ferguson left Venice, where she’d been shooting Mission: Impossible 7, and hunkered down with her husband, their 3-year-old daughter and Ferguson’s 14-year-old son from a previous relationship at their farm in Sweden. After four months, Ferguson returned to the M:I set and basically hasn’t stopped working since.

Dune has sat idle for far longer. By the time the movie premieres, more than two years will have passed since it wrapped. Ferguson recently asked to screen the film again: “I miss it,” she says. She ended up bringing along her Mission: Impossible co-star Simon Pegg. After the credits rolled, Pegg broke into a smile and wrapped her in a congratulatory bear hug. “That’s all I needed,” she says.

Despite being a sci-fi epic based on a novel from 1965, Dune feels “very timely,” Ferguson says, pointing to its handling of environmental issues, religious zealotry, colonialism and Indigenous rights. The plot of the film, which cost an estimated $165 million, centers on occupying powers battling for the right to exploit a people and their planet, named Arrakis, for melange (or spice)—the most valuable commodity in Herbert’s fictional universe, a substance that provides transcendental thought, extends life and enables instantaneous interstellar travel. “Spice,” Ferguson says, “is equally about the poppy and oil fields.”

Ferguson’s Lady Jessica is a member of the Bene Gesserit, a powerful secretive sisterhood with superhuman mental abilities. She defies her order by giving birth to a son, Paul (played by Timothée Chalamet), who may be a messianic figure. “She basically just f—s up the entire universe by having a son out of love,” says Ferguson. In her hands, Jessica is equal parts caring parent, protector and pedagogue. Among the skills she wields and teaches Paul is “the Voice”—a modulated tone that allows the speaker to control others.

The movie was shot in Norway, Hungary, Jordan and Abu Dhabi, whose desert landscape stood in for Arrakis. Filming there was particularly arduous, as temperatures exceeded 120 degrees Fahrenheit, limiting the shoot window to only an hour and a half each day at 5 a.m. and again at dusk. “We were running across the sand in our steel suits being chased by nonexistent but humongous worms,” Ferguson recalls, referring to the sand-beasts later rendered in CGI. “To be honest, it was one of the best moments ever. It was the most beautiful location I’ve ever seen.”

Back in London, Ferguson is approaching home. She leaves the following day for a small town on the coast of England, where she plans to spend her first vacation in two years and to do some surfing. “Let’s hope it’s good weather,” she says. “If not, I’ll surf in the rain.” Not that she’s the sort to paddle out into storm swells. “I think I’ve managed to stand on a board once in my entire life,” she says. “But it was quite a high. Complete surrender to the waves and total control all at once.”

Born Rebecca Louisa Ferguson Sundström to an English mother and Swedish father, Ferguson grew up bilingual in Stockholm. She immersed herself in dance from a young age, enjoying ballet, jazz, street funk and tango. Despite being shy and prone to blushing and breaking out when forced to speak publicly, Ferguson found she was at ease in front of the camera. She dabbled in modeling and then, at 15, attended a TV casting call at her mother’s urging. Ferguson ended up getting the lead role in Nya Tider (New Times), a soap opera that became wildly popular, splashing Ferguson’s face into Swedish homes five times a week.

When her role ended about two years later, Ferguson was adrift. She had no formal acting training to fall back on, no clear sense of how to steer a career and no major connections to the industry. She had a short run on another soap and appeared in a slasher flick and a couple of independent shorts, then…nothing. “I was famous in Sweden, but I didn’t really have an income anymore,” she says. “So I went and I worked in whatever job I could get.” That meant stints at a daycare center and as a nanny, in a jewelry shop and a shoe store, as well as teaching tango, cleaning hotel rooms and waitressing at a Korean restaurant. She eventually landed in a small coastal town named Simrishamn, where she lived with her then-partner and their toddler son, content to be a where-are-they-now celebrity.

When fame again came calling, Ferguson ran away. She was at the flea market when she recognized the acclaimed Swedish director Richard Hobert, and he saw her. As he shouted her name, Ferguson grabbed her son, who lost his shoes and sausage, and fled. “I panicked,” she says. “I don’t know why.” When Hobert eventually caught up to her, Ferguson tried to act nonchalant as he proceeded to tell her he’d admired her work and pitched her on the lead role in his next movie: “I’ve written this role, and I think I have written it for you. Do you want to read the script?”

Her work in Hobert’s A One-Way Trip to Antibes earned her a Rising Star nomination at the Stockholm International Film Festival. She quickly got an agent in Scandinavia, then one in Britain. On her first trip to take meetings in London, she read for the lead in The White Queen, the BBC adaptation of Philippa Gregory’s historical novels about the women behind the Wars of the Roses. Ferguson got the part, and her portrayal of Elizabeth Woodville, queen consort of England, earned her a Golden Globe nomination and the admiration of at least one Hollywood heavyweight.

Ferguson was in the Moroccan desert filming the Lifetime biblical miniseries The Red Tentwhen the assistant director whisked her off her camel. “We’re going to have to pause shooting,” he said as he asked her to dismount. “Tom Cruise wants to meet you for Mission: Impossible. We’re going to fly you off today.”

Cruise had seen Ferguson’s work in The White Queen and her audition tape and couldn’t believe she wasn’t already a major star. “What? Where has this woman been?” Cruise recalls exclaiming to his new Mission: Impossible director Christopher McQuarrie. “She’s incredibly skilled,” Cruise says, “very charismatic, very expressive. As you can tell, the camera loves her.” Ferguson landed a multi-picture deal to star opposite Cruise in the multibillion-dollar franchise. He and McQuarrie built out the role of Ilsa Faust for Ferguson, creating the anti-Bond girl, an equal to Cruise’s Ethan Hunt. “We could just see the impact she could have,” he says. “She’s a dancer. She has great control of her body, of her movements. She has the same ability to move through emotions effortlessly.”

Ferguson threw herself into the films and quickly found a shorthand with the cast and crew. “There was a dynamic that worked very well with all of us,” she says. “One of the things I absolutely love is doing all the stunts.” That physicality has given her a reputation as an action-minded actor. “It doesn’t matter that I’ve done 20 other films where I don’t kick ass,” Ferguson says. “Mission comes with such an enormous following. That was what made my career.”

Ferguson’s M: I movies bracket a number of films in which she played opposite marquee names: Florence Foster Jenkins, with Meryl Streep and Hugh Grant; The Girl on the Train, with Emily Blunt; The Greatest Showman, with Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams; Life, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds; Men in Black: International, with Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson; The Snowman, with Michael Fassbender; Doctor Sleep, with Ewan McGregor. And now Dune, opposite Oscar Isaac, Javier Bardem, Zendaya and Chalamet, whom she calls “one of the best actors, if not the best actor of his generation—of this time.” She was similarly impressed by Zendaya, who plays the native Fremen warrior Chani. “She’s quite raw and naughty and fun,” says Ferguson. “She has an enormous f— off attitude.”

When Ferguson first spoke to Villeneuve about appearing in the movie, “he started telling me about this woman who was a protector, and a mother, and a lover, and a concubine,” she recalls. “I was like, ‘I’m sorry. You want me to play a queen and a bodyguard? And you want me to kick ass and walk regally?’ I was like, ‘Denis, why would I want to do that? That’s the last thing I want to do.’ ”

After the call, Ferguson says, “I went downstairs to my hubby and said, Oh, my God, he’s amazing, but I’m not going to get the job. I just criticized the character.” Ferguson worried she was being cast as a stereotypical “strong female character,” where “it’s constantly, ‘She looks good, and she can kick.’ That is not what I want to portray.”

Ferguson hasn’t always been able to work with collaborators who’ve given her the space to question or opine. “I’ve been bashed down. I’ve been bullied,” she says, though she opts not to say by whom. That was never a concern with Villeneuve, who welcomed her critique. He and his co-writers had already decided from the start to make women the focus of their screenplay adaptation, and he promptly offered her the part.

“I want Lady Jessica to be at the center, the forefront. For me, she’s the architect of the story,” Villeneuve says. “I needed someone who will convey the mystery and the dark side of the film in a very elegant and profound way. Rebecca was everything I was hoping for. She’s so precise. She brought a beautiful, controlled vulnerability—it becomes very visceral on-screen.”

Ferguson vaguely recalls trying to watch the 1984 version of Dune, directed by David Lynch, in her youth, but she fell asleep. And she had never opened Herbert’s novel until being offered the part in the new adaptation. As she dug into the book, she says, she learned that her character was subservient and far more like a concubine, forced to eat alone in her bedroom, not spoken to and not allowed to speak. Ferguson ended up relying primarily on Villeneuve for her research and prep—his notes and comments, his references and the pages in the book he suggested she focus on. “I would feel ignorant not to have read Frank’s book at all,” Ferguson says, though she admits there are parts of the sprawling novel (which Villeneuve is splitting into two films) she’s only skimmed. “I have to finish it.” That will not happen on her upcoming vacation, however. “Absolutely not,” she says “I am surfing.”

By the way, if you saw, I am snaking on the ground, snaking around my room to get good Wi-Fi—it’s not some dance or yoga thing,” Ferguson says. “You have to do that in this old house.” It’s a week and a half after our first meeting, and Ferguson is at her new home, a more than 500-year-old property southwest of London that has, over the years, been home to numerous English Royals. It’s more spartan than stately now. “Empty except for a rock star,” she says, turning her phone’s camera to reveal a framed duotone poster of Mick Jagger that’s leaning against the wall. “We haven’t even started renovating.

Ferguson has returned from her holiday fortified and with renewed confidence, thanks in part to her success on the surfboard. “I went up nearly every time,” she says cheerfully, “but the waves weren’t very high.” She shrugs. “I was proud. I was up. I rode them, not the other way around.”

After years of going with the flow, Ferguson is eager to replicate that sense of control in her career. She values her role as an executive producer on Wool, she says, “because I am, for the first time, a part of it from the beginning.” She relishes weighing in on every aspect, from casting (the show recently added Tim Robbins) to cinematography to her character—which has not always been easy for her. “Why do I feel it’s difficult to speak up? I still battle with these things,” she says. Alluding to those times she was pushed around in the past, Ferguson says, “I was angry, but it was more me getting off at ‘How can I let that happen? Why am I letting myself react this way?’ And I take it with me to the next thing where I go, ‘OK, how do I stop that from happening?’ ”

She is learning that she can ride on top of waves without giving up her agency or maybe just let them break against her. “I want to feel I can go home and think, That was a hard day or that pissed me off—and that’s OK,” Ferguson says, with a nod and tight smile. “Because I still stood there as Rebecca. I didn’t shift.”

#rebecca ferguson #interview #dune interview #mi7 interview #wool interview #tom cruise #denis villeneuve #mission impossible #dune 2021

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

2, 5, 11, 15, 16, 18 aaand 31 for the story teller asks.

Gotta stop here before i send all of them xD

Oh man! :D Thank you so much! I'm very excited to answer these! :D 2. Describe your story in three words or less Chaotic.... but loving. Not that the story is written chaotically, cause I don't think it is, but I think from an outsiders perspective, specially considering I sorta started sharing the story publicly almost 300 chapters in, I'm sure it at times can seem rather chaotic? Or maybe I'm the chaotic one? 5. How do you choose your characters’ names? Hm... it's many different ways really. For the most part I recall a name I really like for whatever reason, or see a name somewhere in the passing, like a tv show or an online article? Sometimes I use Google, let's say I want a very "bohemian" type of name... I'd Google that, cause I know shit nothing about that. And for the McKinney's I Google a fair bit. They all have Irish/Scottish names (well 99% of them do) and since I'm not Irish/Scottish, and I don't want everyone to end up with the most mainstream names, well, Google is my friend. Also specifically for the McKinney's, their names are chosen because of their meaning. Raven's birth name is Brandubh, which essentially can be translated to little black raven. Ronan, his brother, means seal, and he is actually a key that can seal the doors of hell. Eonan is knight... he was a knight of hell. Aedan (Andy and Raven's son) is born of fire, Andy has a power to control/create fire, that not many knows about. The McKinney brother's fathers name is Alroy, which means red haired (cause he simply has red hair, *snort*) And I could keep going. But I'm sure I would bore everyone to death. Anyway, point is, all McKinney's have a name that has something to do with either their powers or their appearance. 11. Why have you decided to tell this story? are there any messages or meanings within it? First it never meant to be a story for anyone but myself. It started as an RP. But when the RP ended, I had all these characters with elaborate personalities, living and breathing inside me. It felt empty to just drop them there. So I continued writing the story for myself. It was never meant at first to continue for years, I actually continued with the thought that I'd maybe write 5-10 chapters or so, and simply writing an ending of the story. Yeah, that was at least 275+ chapters ago. The story fast became a way for me to live a life I had to at the same time face I could never live out in real life. So I suppose my decision to keep writing, was a way for me to pull through a lot of things, I'm not sure I otherwise would have been able to pull through. There are a lot of "hidden" messages and meanings in the story, but I wont sit here and spoil them all, it's up to the readers (now that the story is actually being posted... here <- to interpret it for themselves.) However, I'm always up for answering questions about it. What I can give you is the message of loving people for who they are, not what you want them to be. To love yourself, even if you aren't the version of you you wanted to be, you can still be a pretty rad person. A message that we can overcome much more than we believe, as long as we keep fighting. And last but not least, a message of never giving up, and following your dreams. And to never give up on love. But above all, the message is simply love. I chose to write a story that heavily weighs on love, simply for the fact that I more than ever, believe what we need most on this planet, is love. And lots more of it. A lot of our issues could be solved by simply loving each other more, and loving the planet we live on, before there's nothing left to love. It sounds cliche maybe, but it's my opinion, and you don't have to agree. 15. What have been the highlights of creating your story? Definitely getting to know everyone, watching their characters unfold and grow. It has kept me to my writing. Back in school, my Danish teacher told me to never give up on writing, cause in her words, I'm good at it. She told me to 'always write, whether I would be bubbly happy or breakingly sad, write

write write'. For many years after I finished school, I barely wrote at all, so I was insanely rusty when I picked writing back up. My story helped me with that, and I found my way back to writing. Another highlight is definitely all the hard times my story has gotten me through. Doesn't mean I am smooth sailing my way through life, but it keeps me from drowning completely, and that's something. I still need to make some major life changes, but till that's possible, I'm holding onto my story, and it keeps me above water. 16. What about the process do you enjoy? *Snort* I think if people has followed this blog more than a month, it's already clear I enjoy creating characters, and as a result post some of the most lengthy bio's on Tumblr. But I enjoy just as much to see the scenes unfold in front of me as I write, feeling the emotions of the characters, often so intensely that it affects my own mood. There's just something in it, that makes me feel like I'm a part of the story, like I'm literally in there. And that's enjoyable to escape into for a time. 18. Choose a song that reminds you of your story A? A song? Like in one? ONE song for a circa 300 chapters story??? How??? How do I cram such an elaborate and still growing story into ONE song??????? Ghost-boi.... pls.... I'll have to get back to you on that *goes into full on panic mode searching through albums in my head* 31. Drop some random trivia about your story Pffft.... First chapter that actually made it into the story (cause there were a couple loose ones before that, that never made it) was actually written under different names, as I was considering sharing it online, but didn't want to annoy my previous RP partner, so I changed everyone's names. Andy was Alexander. Congo was Connor. Evan was Ethan. And there you also have the original poly relationship, that ended up in so much more. Well.... at the very beginning of the story, Evan and Congo still wasn't dating, but it didn't take many chapters. Adrian was originally made as an attempt to create something different, look-wise. To get out of my comfort zone and play with new features. While making him, I sat there looking at his face thinking 'this is me'. I simply connected not only with his looks, but also the character I started seeing growing in front of me, so writing his bio was probably one of the easiest ever to write, and he was very easy to adapt as a main character in my story. He just swept his way in there like a cool breeze on a way too hot summers day and the main cast was like... keh... cool... So he actually sorta became the main focal point of the part of my story I am sharing on my story blog, where Andy is the main focal point of the main story. Akin, the Alpha wolf, was originally supposed to never be a fully developed character. He was "just" a doctor that popped by here and there, but the two readers of my story back then, liked him a lot, and started expressing seeing potential in him. So I started developing him. As I expressed how he looked (he was originally extremely tall and a bit like a rugby player) they strongly disagreed and told me he was definitely slender and with semi-long dreads XD And that made Akin look more or less like he does today <- About that song though... if I have to choose just one song for such a BIG story, I'd have to simply choose a love song. But not a sugary sweet one. A haunting, emotional, longing, breathtaking, yet deep, passionate and warm song. I'd go with <- Witch is also a song from the movie Romeo + Juliet, by amazing Baz Luhrman. So basically a story about teenage suicide. In that aspect it doesn't fit at all. But it was the first song that came to my mind.... Sooooo.... I'll quietly leave this as well, on the way out <- (which is probably a much better fit anyway, both regarding lyrics and music video) 

#Daniel mumbles #way too much #eternal-infamy

[fanficteen]

Old Friend

deucalion x reader

“(Y/N)?” Rafael’s voice crackled on the other end of the phone. “McCall?” “I need your help.” Sirens whirled in the background. “You what?” “There’s a hunting problem.” That cleared absolutely nothing up. “I’m an author, not a cop, McCall.” “At the shipyard,” he continued, as though he hadn’t heard you. “Remember I told you about the Hale attack?” “McCall,” you heard, muffled, on the other end of the phone. “Name’s a little too close to home, ain’t it, Ferrell?” “Please.” The line went dead. “Hale attack? That was a fire.” Your heart plummeted in your chest. “Hunters.” You scrambled for the door, not even bothering to lock it as you ran. You’d heard about them coming, heard about the new pack, the True Alpha. Hell, you’d even helped once or twice, when Melissa or Argent called you in. But you hadn’t made the connection between McCall and Scott McCall, the tiny, chubby little kid you’d looked after while his mom worked.

Guns were already firing when you reached the shipyard, and someone was crawling for cover. Or, trying too. He was far too old to be Scott, even as his eyes flashed red, claws extending to drag him across the ground. Three teenagers were scattered around the yard, another man crouched behind a steel beam. You waited, as the Hunters moved forward. Then the barrage ceased, though they kept their guns raised. You launched forward, then, and cut off three from the back with ease. You grabbed a fourth by the throat and tossed him into another, finally drawing their attention to you, as you managed to grab the wounded wolf and bolt in their confusion. “Made a new friend, Scott?” That voice sent chills down your spine, blood-soaked memories clawing their way from the pit of your mind. Your parents – human parents, dead on the floor, just for protecting you. “Just in time to bury them.” You swept through the group to the woman speaking, throwing her to the ground. She spun to look at you, as she landed, but you were already moving, surging towards her. Through the corner of your eye, you caught sight of one of her hunters moving towards the stone column, where Scott was crouched, and you changed courses, knowing you wouldn’t get there in time. Then an engine revved, and suddenly there was a Jeep spearing into the shipyards and the Hunter went flying from the impact. You felt a bullet shatter your shoulder and growled, turning back towards Monroe as two new faces joined the fight. She glanced at you, then behind her, and took off for her car, her men following behind her. Half of you wanted to go after her, but Scott needed you more than you needed revenge. Scott’s pack soon grouped up around where he was struggling, vainly, to stem the blood flow of the wounded man. You pushed him aside, lightly, kneeling in his place. The man ignored you, still focused on Scott. Something about Gerard and knowing he couldn’t win. His breath cut off. “It’s really started, hasn’t it?” None of them stopped you, but you could feel them staring as you leaned forward, eyes flashing black, as you buried your claws in the back of his neck. “Hey!” The late werewolf – a Hale – grabbed Scott’s arm as he protested. “She’s a Grim,” he breathed, as the man’s flashed open and he gasped for breath. “She just – she just brought him back from the dead, right?” Stiles asked, jaw dropped. “I’m not insane?” “She just brought him back from the dead,” the redhead agreed. “He wasn’t quite dead,” you corrected, immediately darting out of the way as the man swung onto his hands and knees, choking in mouthfuls of air.

“Who – wait, (Y/N)?!” “It’s been a while, pup.” He stared as you rubbed the back of your neck, awkwardly. “Pretty impressive pack you’ve gathered. A handful of Hales, a Banshee, another Alpha…” You glanced at Stiles. “…the Sheriff’s son. Very human, very smart. You’re taking good care of him, right?” You carefully placed your foot on the wounded man’s back as he moved to stand. He swung his head around to glare. “Sorry, but you should stay down there, sir.” “Gonna introduce us, Scott?” the late Hale prompted. “Oh! Yeah, sorry,” Scott gestured between you and the pack, “Everyone, this is (Y/N). She used to babysit me as a kid. I did not know she was supernatural. (Y/N), this is Derek, Peter, Malia, Lydia, and you know Stiles.” You tilted your head, surreptitiously, towards the recovering wolf. “That’s Deucalion.” “He’s who?” you questioned, earning a half-hearted laugh from the man on the ground. “Can I get up, now?” he requested, lightly, his voice still rough around the edges. You hesitated, then offered your hand. “You have to let me help you, though.” He glanced from your hand to your face, then sighed and took it, letting you help him to his feet, supporting his aching body. “Nice to meet you, oh Mr Demon Wolf, Destroyer of Worlds, pep-talker of my favourite kid.” He chuckled, lowly. “Nice to meet you, Miss Death-Defier, Beacon Hills’ Grim, babysitter of the True Alpha.” The others were all staring at you, wide-eyed, when you both looked back at them. “We should leave.” “I want to take him to Deaton,” you added, as they all nodded. He sighed, and you all waited for him to protest. “What?” he challenged, letting you help him towards your car, “I’d rather see the Druid than die.”

The roar echoed through the school, reverberating in your chest – pain, anger, hurt. “Scott?!” Before you could take off, Deucalion grabbed your arm. “You don’t know how to fight it.” “Scott’s hurt!” “He’ll be more hurt if you’re dead.” You sighed, but nodded, mutely. “Let me go ahead.” He offered you his hand. “Unless I squeeze your hand, don’t open your eyes. It knows how to trick us.” “Don’t you need that?” You glanced at his hand, and he offered you a lopsided smirk. “If I do, I’ll just throw you with my punch.” You snorted, but took his hand anyway. “Give me some warning, I’ll even put my claws out and actually make myself useful.”

“Bobby?!” The Coach spun at the sound of your voice. “What the hell are you doing here? Are you hurt?” “Just looking after my players,” he answered, brightly. You raised an eyebrow. “Some asshole thought he could get away with touching my boys outside my office. I mean, sure, Jackson and Ethan aren’t my team anymore, but they’re still –” “Bobby, are they okay?” “What? Of course,” he huffed, folding his arms. “I hit him with a lacrosse stick.” Deucalion raised an eyebrow. “Not all of us have fangs and claws.” Then he paused for a moment. “Hang on, you’re the asshole–“ “Coach?” You heard a clatter in the nearby entrance hall, as Scott appeared, but just surged towards him. Deucalion headed for the noise. Blood still stained around his eyes but he smiled, offering a soft laugh, as you checked him over. “I’m fine.” “You blinded yourself?” Horror coursed through you. “He what?” Bobby demanded. Jackson and Ethan appeared, from the same direction Bobby had come. Ethan did a double take, but Deucalion held up his hands in surrender, and the boy approached, warily. “Coach, why are you here?” Stiles questioned, still entirely bewildered. “He just saved us,” Ethan admitted, making Derek raise an eyebrow. “Malia?” Peter crashed through the doors behind them. “Malia– you’re okay.” The girl in question smiled, brightly, crushing her father into a hug. Peter froze. Derek kicked Stiles before he could snicker. “Coach saved you?” Stiles asked, returning his attention to the boys. “No need for that tone, Stilinski.” “He beat a hunter unconscious with a lacrosse stick,” Jackson explained, and Stiles’ jaw dropped further. “Wait, do you know about this, Coach?” Scott asked, brows furrowed. “Of course I know. That’s my sister fussing over you.” “She’s your what?” “I’m adopted,” you assured the baffled teenagers.

Deucalion cleared his throat, summoning your attention. He held up Monroe by her collar. “She’s still alive.” “You won’t kill me,” she sneered, “McCall won’t let you.” “McCall’s not my Alpha,” Deucalion responded, eyes flashing red. “Yet you still deferred to him.” Deucalion snarled, but looked back to Scott. “This is your territory, Scott.” The boy hesitated. “But it’s a war for all of us.” They hadn’t even seen you moving before her heart dropped to the floor. “(Y/N)?!” “What the hell?!” Deucalion didn’t speak through the teenaged chorus, just discarded the body, unceremoniously, curious gaze fixed on your face. “A woman after my own heart.” Malia elbowed Peter, cutting off his muttering. “Was that her?” A sob tore from your throat at Bobby’s question, raw and ragged, but you nodded. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at your brother, or at Scott, afraid of what you would see there. So you just held Deucalion’s gaze, as if begging him to understand… something. Anything. Even you weren’t sure what. The man was a killer, after all. You didn’t need to justify yourself to him. You could hear Bobby explaining, behind you, but still didn’t dare look back. You flinched when Deucalion finally broke the impasse by taking a step forward, but didn’t move away. He continued forward, slowly, until he had closed the distance between you, a warm hand coming to rest on your shoulder.

“Are you alright?” The question was stiff, awkward, but you couldn’t say you expected any different. Before you even registered what you were doing, you slumped forward, burying your head in his chest. He went stiff for a moment, but you soon felt his arms inch around you, one hand coming to your hair. Your sobs began to fade, breathing falling into sync with the soothing fingers trailing through your hair. “Am I seeing this right– ow, Derek!” A low growl rumbled from Deucalion’s chest, vibrating through your body, and Stiles fell silent. With a shuddering breath, you pulled away and looked up to meet the eyes of the Alpha of Alphas. He raised an eyebrow, but his expression was gentle. “Sorry,” you mumbled. “You just single-handedly destroyed a well-manicured, decades-old reputation.” There was no anger in his voice. “I think you did that when you started practicing pacifism,” Peter drawled, making both Scott and Deucalion glare at him. He shrugged, but didn’t try to take it back. “Can I suggest we leave?” Lydia piped up, quietly. “I don’t know about you, but I could do with a shower.” She looked down at her dust-covered hands, the stains of blood and sweat on her clothes. Murmurs of agreement followed, and you all headed for the doors. “Scott, if you see your father, tell him I’ll be by tomorrow.” Scott raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t think I just magically realised you were about to die, did you?” You didn’t bother listening to their mumbled responses, just made a beeline for your car. “Call me tonight!” Bobby shouted after you. You waved your agreement.

#pack mom reader #tw past trauma #tw parent death #tw murder #deucalion x reader #deucalion #teen wolf deucalion #teen wolf #coach finstock #bobby finstock #adopted!reader #adopted!finstock!reader #tw violence #tw gore #tamora monroe #coach is secretly soft #tw guns #tw injury #tw major injury

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 22

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 7.1k (Sorry, my babies had a lot to say in this chapter 😅)

Warnings: Angst, anxiety, cussing, guilt,  dissociation, and mentions of child neglect (medical).   Rated M

Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations  @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268  @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @freckles-spangledvampire​@mercury84choices​  @curiousconch​ @thegreentwin​

________

Chapter 22: Like To Be You.

I don't know what it's like to be you

I don't know what it's like but I'm dying to

If I could put myself in your shoes

Then I know what it's like to be you

 Keiki was already awake when Bryce got out of his room. Eleanor's heart tore at the sight of him, as his eyes were reddened and his hair a bit disheveled, but she remained silent, observing how he sauntered towards the couch and took a seat beside Keiki.  The girl had her eyes fixated on the TV but was barely paying attention to the documentary in front of her. "Hey, Keiks," he greeted, waiting for her to face him.

After a few seconds of hesitation, she looked up at him, “Hey.”

“How are you?”

“Better,” she replied simply.

She was indeed better, she looked calmer, but everyone in the room knew her mind was very far from calm and good, especially considering that problem wouldn't be over in who knows how many more days.

He cleared his throat, shifting on the couch, uncomfortable, knowing that what he was about to ask would be very difficult for both of them, but it was for the better,  "I know you mustn't want to relive those things, but… I would really appreciate it if you could tell me what happened, from the start. Elle already told me, but I really, really need to listen to this from you, if you're okay with it."

After a few seconds of silence, Keiki nodded, “Yeah, I think you deserve to know this from me,” she agreed and turned off the TV, leaving the room in complete silence.

Keiki took a deep breath and after wrapping her arms around her legs, she started to talk, not keeping anything, but doing a huge effort to not break like the last time.

She started by telling him she had been thinking about running away from home for months, because she felt lost and alone, and the situation at school was more and more unbearable, and she thought he would support her and understand her because he lived the same. But the breaking point had been what happened at the end of June, when she got sick and almost died of peritonitis, all because of their parents’ neglect. What’s worse is that they didn’t even care about her after that. They went to visit her and then to pick her up when she was discharged, but her mother never stayed more than five minutes to make her company, and while she was resting at home, it was just the same routine. She just dropped by her room to say hi and check if she was alive, but no more than that.

At that moment, Keiki realized that they only cared about reputation, about appearance, to portray the perfect family, and that they would never care about her, no matter what. That’s why she ran away, because even if she barely spoke with Bryce, he had shown more interest than her parents ever did.

That broke him of course, more than he already was. A simple call. A simple birthday call was more than her parents had given her.

Nevertheless, that was just another reason to fight for her. To give her the best and do something he should’ve done ages ago. To stand up to his parents and let them face the consequences of their actions, of their selfishness, and not let them get away with anything again.

After Keiki told him how things had happened, the only thing Bryce was able to do was apologizing, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there for you Keiki. If I had been there, you wouldn't have lived this, your life wouldn't have been at risk the way it was."

Even if Eleanor, or Keiki, or just a million people tried to convince him otherwise, no one could change his mind. Part of the reason that that had happened to Keiki was his fault, and surprisingly, saying that out loud made him feel less guilty. Like facing his responsibility with her was taking a lot of weight off his shoulders somehow. A decade of weight.

Keiki got up from the couch and started wandering around the living room, thinking, looking for the right words. As if it was really difficult for her to deny that downright. That although she didn't want to hold any grudges on him, it was simply the truth or part of the truth. If he had cared more for her, probably that wouldn't have happened.

Finally, she sat in her bed in the corner of the room, across from the couch, and confessed “I can’t deny that I thought about it many times… but they are my parents, they were supposed to look after me, and they didn’t. This was not your responsibility, much less if you weren’t living there.”

“I should’ve known better that they would be just like how they were with me, but I always felt they… they were different with you.”

“Maybe they were at some point, my mom above all” She shrugged, frowning her lips, “but after dad went out of jail, things changed. Mom kept pressuring me to be better and have a low profile, but that was it, she was more invested in dad and the meetings with that scumbag Jennings than in me.”

Bryce’s eyebrows furrowed in disconcert, “Wait, did you say… Jennings? As in Stuart Jennings?”

“Yes. Do you know him?”

Bryce shook his head, a glint of disappointment flashing his features.

“What?” Keiki insisted.

“When they were judging dad, the attorney accused Jennings of being his accomplice, but they could never prove anything, they said they weren’t friends, that they had no contact, so they dismissed the accusation. But I knew he was involved, I saw dad multiple times with him, at home and sneaking out in the Club. Now you’re telling me this dude has been frequenting the house?”

“Yes, mostly at night.”

“Did he go while dad was in jail?”

Keiki’s frowned, considering, “Maybe a couple of times, usually after mom went to see dad.”

Bryce shoved his hair in frustration, "I can't believe being in jail taught him anything, and keeps doing this bullshit!"

“But, if they were accomplices, why dad didn’t denounce him?” Keiki asked, after a few seconds, confused, “he wouldn't want to be the only one falling, would he?”

"Maybe, this is just a supposition, it was better if his source was free. Probably he knew he would be released soon, so after a few years he would still have him in the field to keep doing this crap."

“That makes sense, but… You really think they are into it?”

“Yes, that’s the only reason he would be in touch with him and so secretly,” Keiki nodded, “This is good information, Keiks. Maybe we can get something out of this.”

“You think so?”

“Yes,” he reassured, giving her a weak smile, “I don’t like to threaten people, but at this point, they’re giving me no option.”

After a long call to his lawyer, Bryce was convinced that his hunch about Jennings could be really helpful if he wanted to get that Agreement, so he called Rebecca to set a meeting that afternoon.

It was minutes before 7 PM when Bryce, Keiki, and Eleanor stood in front of a hotel suite in Boston Harbor, waiting for Rebecca to open the door.

At first, Eleanor wasn't sure she should be there, but both Keiki and Bryce asked her to go with them for moral support and because she'd witnessed both exchanges with Rebecca, and they didn't want to risk any chance to get involved in misunderstandings with the older woman's manipulations.

After a few seconds, Rebecca opened the door.

Bryce froze in place. More than ten years had passed since the last time he saw her. Ten years of holding grudges, anger, guilt, all because of her and his father. There was no easy way to face this.

Once he was able to regain composure, he looked up and down at his mother, from head to toes, taking in the visible passing of time. She was the same stunning woman he remembered, she even was using the same elegant perfume she used back then, and probably was slimmer than before, but she had aged. No matter the serums and surgeries, no matter the money, the passing of time was there, hidden behind that conceal and foundation.  Behind that expensive and loyal red lipstick. Behind the fake image of a perfect wife and perfect mother.

Rebecca did the same. She looked at him silently, giving an admired look at the features on his face, and the particular hairstyle that probably was completely the opposite of what he used to wear in high school, long and rebellious. "Hello, Bryce. You're just as handsome as when I met your father thirty years ago, son," she said, stroking his cheek with a melancholic glint in her eyes.

A cold glare settled in Bryce’s face, clearly annoyed with the comparison, “Hello mother, it’s been a while.”

“Not by my decision, of course,” she remarked, dryly. “Oh, I didn’t expect to see you here, Eleanor, are you coming as attestor again?” she added, as she noticed her presence behind Keiki.

“Good evening, Ms. Lahela” Eleanor replied, ignoring the provocation, while the three entered the elegant light blue living room and sat on a cream couch at the center of the room.  

Rebecca took a seat on a black leather sofa beside Bryce and gave him a smug smirk, "So? Are you going to leave that nonsense of yours in the past and send Keiki with me?"

Bryce didn’t hesitate a second before staring at her, serious and determined, “I’m gonna be clever and demand you to agree to what I’m asking you.”

“Why would I do that?”

"Because you're hurting your daughter. You're irresponsible and the only thing you care about is money, and status and keep helping dad with his bullshit."

Rebecca gave him a tense smile, and then arched a brow “What are you talking about, Bryce? Why would your dad keep doing what led him to jail? That’s absurd.”

“You tell me.”

“I’m not here to play games, Bryce, so let’s finish this straight away: I’m gonna take Keiki with me, like it or not.”

“To what? To keep pretending you’re the perfect mother? Can I ask why now? Why now that I called you, two months after she ran away, you suddenly care about her? I truly can’t understand it.”

“We were just waiting for her to get bored, so she doesn’t become more rebellious.”

Bryce and Keiki snorted at the same time, but this time Keiki spoke, “Oh, always taking the easy path instead of educating, yeah, very understandable.”

"Keiki, Bryce is working all day, you'd be alone all day, and above all that" Rebecca directed her eyes to Eleanor, "he has a girlfriend, and as doctors, I'm sure both of you want to make the best of the short time you have, there's no room for Keiki here."

Rebecca had done her homework during the afternoon.

Eleanor looked attentively as Bryce took a deep, deep breath before speaking. She was getting under his skin quicker than she thought.

“Don’t talk about my life as if you knew, you have no idea, mother. And you have no idea about giving quality time to your loved ones, you never did it with me and clearly you’re not doing it with Keiki.”

Rebecca opened her eyes, shocked, “What are you talking about, I always tried to give you the best.”

“The best schools, the best clothes, all the damn material things, but you never took the time to educate us, to raise is, to love us.”

“Oh, Lord, here we go again with your drama. You really haven’t changed a thing, have you?”

“Oh? So you’ve been a good mother who has always been there for your kids, right? So, tell me, How many times did you go to Keiki’s room to see how she was feeling with her stomach pain? Or if you stayed the night with her in the hospital when she had surgery?”

Rebecca snorted, not a bit affected by his implications, “You’re unbelievable, the most hypocrite person I’ve ever met,” she snapped. “You haven’t set a foot in Maui for ten years, you only reach out for holidays and birthdays, and you’re talking to me about being present, about caring about Keiki? You were the one who didn’t give a damn about her, and now because she’s been two months with you, suddenly you’re morally superior to me?”

Her words took Bryce and Keiki aback, making them freeze in place for a moment. “Are you really sure this is what you want? Put your career on hold, stop taking more surgeries, more shifts to succeed, because there’s a kid you have to care about, to give less time to your girlfriend?  Or are you just going to split the time and gave that responsibility to her too? Because that’s why she’s here too, right? Because you’re incapable of taking the responsibility on your own.”

Bryce stuttered. It really hurt him. Even if she was just pushing his buttons, it was hard to hear the ugly truth, even if there were parts that weren't accurate. He thought he was ready to face her, but after ten years she still had the ability to break him, to make his mind a mess, to distort everything for her own benefit.

"Two months is nothing, nothing if she's not going to school," she continued, taking advantage of his silence, "you'll have to make time to help her study, go to her performances, meetings with the principal if she's a troublema—"

“Shut up,” Bryce barked suddenly, his teeth gritting. His patience was dropping with every word he had to hear from her mouth.

Rebecca looked at him surprised, “Excuse me?”

“Shut up, mother,” he insisted, “You’re talking about raising Keiki like it was a burden, like she was a burden.  It may be a burden to you, but it’s not a burden to me. She will never be.”

“I’m not-”

"And don't talk to me like you know what it takes," he continued, ignoring her words, "as if you've done all those things with me when I was at school. You only cared about the public side of all, concerts, expositions, games… You were there just because there were photos, but you never sat beside me to ask for my homework, or grades, or to ask what I liked, how good I was at surfing. You only cared when you wanted me to become a lawyer, but nothing more than that. So don't talk to me like you know how to be a caring mother because you don't know!"

“That’s what you want to believe,” She said, giving her the most cynical smile he had seen in his life, “that’s what you want to remember, what better suits you.”

“If that attitude is what lets you sleep at night, go for it, mother, but you won’t make me feel guilty again.”

“And you’re not going to convince me about this stupid idea.”

“You really don’t care about what your daughter needs, uh? What only matters to you is winning, no matter the cost, no matter how hurt your daughter gets.”

“I know what she needs, she needs someone who takes care of her.”

Bryce couldn’t hold it anymore. There was just too much hypocrisy, too much manipulation, too much malice and he was reaching his limit. “And when the hell did you take care of her if she almost died because you ignored a stomach pain for a fucking week?!” he shouted, standing up from the couch, all remnants of patience gone by now.  “A fucking week, not two days when you can think is stomach flu, a fucking week, so don’t talk about giving a damn about your daughter!”

“That was a mistake and I said I was sorry.”

“Stop lying! Stop pretending! You’re not sorry, you never really cared about what happened, the only thing that mattered to you was the stupid meetings with Jennings!”

Rebecca paled at the mention of him.

Got you.

“Wh-What are you talking about?”

“Deny it, deny that Stuart Jennings has been in your house doing bullshit with my father.”

The silence was deafening for a couple of seconds. Rebecca's mind was working miles per minute trying to explain that situation, trying to get out of the dead-end Bryce had put her in. But that's what it was, a dead end. Bryce had her cornered. There was no escape from this.

“That’s what I thought,” Bryce said, smugly.

“It does not mean anything...”

"Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure the attorney back in Hawaii will find it totally normal that Stuart Jennings is spending evenings in the Lahela house after dad went out of jail when it was supposed that they don't meet each other, right?"

“Where did you get that? Keiki told you that?”

“What if she did?”

“She’s lying.”

“I’m not lying!” Keiki yelled, scowling at her.

“If she’s lying, why would Keiki be able to describe him if he’d never set a foot there? If when they were investigating dad she was five years old? Very curious, uh?”

“Where are you going with this?”

"Where I'm going with this, mother, is that if you don't sign the legal guardianship agreement I'm proposing, not only I'll sue you for child neglect, I'll inform the attorney that Stuart is dad's accomplice and that he keeps doing his bullshit, so he'll have to go to jail again."

Rebecca’s reaction was a divine gift. Bryce never thought he would be lucky enough to leave her mother like she was at that moment. Panicking, cornered, defeated.

"You wouldn't. He's... He's your father, Bryce."

And stuttering.

Bryce chuckled, amused with her desperate appeal to mercy based on blood ties, “You and he gave me and Keiki life, but you’re nothing more than that. And if I use the words, it’s just me trying to be polite, but I don’t actually feel it. Mom, dad? They’re just empty words.”

“Bryce, how can you say that? How can you be so cruel to send your own father to jail?”

"How can you be so cruel to ignore your daughter's well-being your whole life, ignore her to the point of almost letting her die because of your neglect, to the point of not giving a fuck about her when she ran away? That's what I can't fucking understand, woman! So don't come at me begging to behave like a son, when he has been anything but a father to me and Keiki, the same as you."

Bryce was out of line, letting all his anger go, but as the words went out of him, he was feeling lighter and lighter, and more and more hopeful. Eleanor and Keiki had never seen him like that, but both knew he was doing what he should’ve done years ago, that he was doing this for his and Keiki’s sake. That the hell he was giving Rebecca was minimum compared to what she and his father deserved.

Rebecca, instead, was shocked and kind of frightened of his reaction. She never expected he would react that way and that he would handle the situation so smoothly. She never considered that maybe, she would return home with empty hands.

"I mean it, mother. If you don't sign the agreement, I'll tell the attorney, and I'm willing to tell everything and do anything to destroy you at court and take Keiki with me. Dad is going to go to jail again and your stupid reputation is going to hell. Probably you're going to jail too."

“Bryce…Don’t threaten us, you have no chance…” It was her last trying before admitting defeat, but she had already lost.

“Don’t I? With what you did to Keiki? With the fact that you didn’t come after her? She’s fifteen, the court will take her opinion into consideration. Come on, this is just your pride, you cannot accept that Keiki prefers me, who was out of her life for ten years, over you.”

Rebecca stared at him and Keiki for a long time. Keiki was sitting on the couch, facing her, determination in her eyes. Nothing she had said had changed her mind.

“I’m going to talk to you father,” she said, and went to the next room.

In the meantime, Bryce sat back in his seat and looked at Eleanor with subtle hope. He didn't want to admit it out loud, but he was sure their parents would agree. Keiki, on the other hand, didn't want to have her hopes high, so she just waited in silence, with her shoulders slumped and her hands fidgeting, the anxiety slowly consuming her.

After about thirty minutes later, Rebecca came back to the room with an unreadable expression on her face and stared silently at Bryce and Keiki for a moment before speaking. “Alright. Your father and I have agreed to let you stay here, Keiki.”

The girl released a long and deep breath, a breath that probably had been holding since she had entered the suite.

"And I spoke with our lawyer and he'll start with the legal guardianship process Bryce, including child support. No judge would approve something like that without providing for education, food, and housing, much less considering our situation. I'll let you know when all is settled so you can travel to Maui to sign the papers."

“My intention wasn’t getting any money from yo-” Bryce started, but soon was interrupted.

“That’s okay, Bryce,” Keiki said, making Bryce look at her, surprised, “it isn’t fair that you have to cover everything when our parents are loaded, it’s the least they can do for not being able to raise their child properly.”

“Watch out your tongue, Keiki. I’m still your mother.”

“How about no?” Keiki defied, getting up from the couch. “Anyway, I’m done with this, can we go?”

Bryce stared at Rebecca, wondering if she wanted to add something else. She simply shook her head, so both Keiki and Eleanor abandoned the room after giving Rebecca a nod as a goodbye.

“You better keep your word and this isn’t a scheme of yours,” Bryce warned, standing up at the same time as her, “And I mean it mother, one wrong move and I swear I’ll go to the police. Am I clear?”

Rebecca nodded, "Yes. In three weeks maximum, we should be able to ask for the judge's approval."

"Well, until then, mother," he said before going out of the suite and joining Eleanor and Keiki in the hallway.

When he reached Keiki, he gave him the most luminous smile he had given her, charged with pride and victory, “We made it, Keiks.”

Even if he feared the worst when he received that call and Eleanor told him what had happened, even when he thought what Rebecca had said would convince Keiki to go with her; against all odds, he made it, both made it. Keiki would stay with him.

He knew things wouldn’t be easy, that both would have to struggle a lot to make it work, but Bryce was determined to make up for his mistakes and give her everything their parents failed to give  Keiki.

“We really did it,” she said, lifting her hand to high-five him, “Thank you, bro.”

“Wanna eat something special to celebrate?” He asked, embracing her tightly.

"Mmm, maybe sushi."

“Let’s get that sushi, then, come on.”

As Keiki started walking towards the elevator, Bryce looked down at Eleanor, eyes sparkling with the smile she was giving him, “How are you feeling?”

“Great. Amazing. I can’t believe what just happened. And that I finally… Could tell her all that I had inside.”

“I’m so, so proud of you, my love,” She whispered, caressing his cheek with her knuckles, “and I admire you so much.”

“Well, this wouldn’t have been that easy if it wasn’t for your support.”

“I appreciate the acknowledgment, but this is all you.”

“I disagree, but I’m done with discussions for the day.”

Eleanor giggled, “Fair enough.”

As the elevator reached their floor, the three of them got in, ready to celebrate the first family victory of the Lahela siblings.

 *

The following days were unexpectedly weird and disconcerting. Keiki started avoiding Eleanor without motive.

She wasn't interested in talking or watching movies together, and when they had lunch, there was this uncomfortable and painful silence between them, a silence that had never been between them, not even the first day.

Eleanor didn’t know why. She tried to think about anything she could’ve said, if she overstepped with something, but there was nothing. She thought maybe it was just the natural aftermaths of such a traumatic experience as what had happened with Rebecca a few days ago. A recharging after a very emotional day.

Bryce had noticed too, but as he hated conflict more than anyone in the world, he just preferred to ask Eleanor instead of Keiki, and as she didn’t know, days kept passing by without knowing what was happening with her.

But then, after three excruciating days in which she convinced herself that things wouldn’t get better, Eleanor finally found the strength to ask Keiki, just as she finished putting the dishes in the cabinet after lunch. “Keiki, is there something wrong?”

“Why you ask?” She replied without looking up at her, eyes fixated on her cellphone.

“You’ve been very quiet these few days, you don’t want to talk or do anything together, and I’m wondering if something’s bothering you? Or maybe I did something wrong?”

Keiki looked up at her, serious, but didn’t say anything. Then she shook her head and murmured, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Why not?”

“Let’s leave it there.”

“Keiki, I want to help you, but I can’t do it if you don't tell me what’s wrong.”

Keiki scoffed, really annoyed with her insistence, “That’s exactly the problem, Eleanor. Why of all people is you who’s offering help.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t understand why, having already a family, a father, a mother, a brother, is you, someone who was a total stranger to me two months ago, the one who cares about me the most.”

“Keiki, what are you saying? Bryce cares about you more than anyone.”

“Oh, but I haven’t seen him asking what’s wrong with me, even if he knows perfectly well there’s something wrong.”

“You have to understand this is difficult for him...”

"Oh, as if this has been really easy for me! All I have been is being understanding, comprehensive, patient. Ten years waiting for him to visit me, ten years waiting for more than a fucking birthday call! And now I've been waiting two fucking months for him to show me some interest, but there's always something first, if it's not work, it's you, or your accident. Anything, but me!"

Eleanor couldn't say anything. Part of what she was saying was true, and part of the reason that this has turned this bad, was her fault, so she couldn't contradict her. Besides, she had the feeling that all this anger was motivated by what her mother had told her the other day. Rebecca's poison was working on her.

“I’m sorry Eleanor,” she added, after a few seconds, her voice shaking, “I know this is not your fault… that I shouldn't take it on you but it’s just... sometimes I can’t help but feel anger towards you because…” she sighed, ashamed, “because I see you and you have everything I’ve always wanted.”

Eleanor’s heart skipped a beat with guilt.

“You have a family that loves you, a brother that missed school just to be with you, parents that flew thousands of miles to see you. You have a mother who does your hair and never abandoned you while you were at the hospital, and… and  I want to hate you but I can’t! Because you’ve been nothing but nice to me, and sometimes I feel like you’re the person that cares about me the most.”

“Keiki… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know…”

Keiki shook her head, stopping her mid-sentence, "This is not your fault, but I needed to let you know why I've been so… cold with you. I just can't stop thinking about it sometimes. Like, I feel envy, and I know it's wrong, but I just prefer to deal with it on my own."

Eleanor nodded, “I understand. It’s okay, Keiki, thank you for telling me.”

“I still like your parents, it’s just that this is too much for me sometimes.”

“Keiki…” She muttered a few minutes later, after pondering carefully her words. She told herself she wouldn't intervene, but she felt like she needed to do something anyway, to give Bryce a little push even if she was realizing it was time for him to fight his own battles. “I… I know that this is something that you have to talk about with Bryce but… But you have to know that Bryce cares about you, that you are his priority. Bryce has changed a lot of things in his life in order to spend time with you, to give you the time you deserve. You knew since the first moment that it would be complicated. The life of a doctor is hard, and even like that, he’s been giving you all his time. Please, don’t believe for a second what your mother told you. She has no idea.”

Keiki shook her head, a tear streaming down her face, “But she’s right, Elle. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like you care more about me than he does, because you always take the time to listen to me, and all Bryce does is trying to avoid conflict, just like my parents. Why can't Bryce be like you?”

Eleanor bit her lip. Keiki was overreacting, she was sure Bryce had taken the time to listen to her, but at that moment, the only thing that the teenager could think, is that her brother wasn’t giving her the attention she needed, the fifteen years of attention she needed, and Eleanor couldn’t argue with that.

“Keiks, not everyone has this… easiness with people’s emotions, as you’re suggesting I have. Bryce is not one of those people, he struggles a lot with his own, so it’s not that he doesn’t care about you, it’s just that this is really difficult for him to talk about it. Some topics still trigger a lot of things in him and he’s not ready to face them with you in front.”

“Really?”

“Yes. But I also understand where you’re going with this, that maybe he’s not trying hard enough in opening up to you, and I have to say that’s partly my fault.

“Your fault? Why?”

“Because I’ve meddled in your relationship with him trying to help you two, but that has only let him evade the responsibility he has with you. Don’t get me wrong, I like that you can count on me, but now you’ve made me see that Bryce should be able to talk to you about everything, especially now that you’re going to live officially with him.”

At that moment, Eleanor realized that situation would keep occurring as long as she was in the middle, always ready to save Bryce from a disastrous talk, or always providing advice about how to deal with him, almost depriving him of making mistakes, and that couldn't happen anymore.

She had to get out of the way.

"The good thing is there's one quick way to fix this. Well, not exactly fix it, but to push him to do better," She said after a few minutes considering her decision.

“Which is?”

“I’m going back home.”

"What, Eleanor, no! There's no need!" Her answer didn't have that usual determination that characterized her voice, it was weak and almost hesitant.

Eleanor shook her head, chuckling, “That’s okay, no need to pretend with me. I’m sure you’ll be alright by yourself, right? Considering that you’ll start school in a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, I think so, but what about you?”

"I'll be alright," She said, nonchalant, "I'm doing this for me too. I've stayed more than I planned here, besides, it's about damn time I start taking care of my own life, don't you think?"

After a couple of hours collecting her things and messaging her friends and Bryce that she would go back home, she said goodbye to Keiki, more determined than ever that this was the best decision. Not only for Keiki but for her too.

“Eleanor I… You don’t have to…”

“Keiki, you have every right to be upset, or mad, or just uncomfortable with me being here, so please don’t feel bad. We’re okay. And I really hope that this is the push your brother needs to react. I understand what you’re struggling with, okay?”

“Thank you, Ella.”

“Of course. I care about you Keiki. A lot. But not as much as you brother,” She winked at her, and Keiki couldn’t help but smile.

“Please let me know when you’re at home.”

“Sure.”

*

When Eleanor got home, the adrenaline of what had happened that day slowly started to drop,  until all that was left was her reality. Her naked and rough reality, without other people's problems, without a teenager who was pushing her to be better, without a boyfriend who could comfort her when everything was wrong.

No.

Now she was all by herself.

Just herself and her demons, the million demons that she'd been avoiding for days, weeks, months, even years, and that she'd swept under the carpet.

And it was huge.

The guilt after what happened at the hospital hadn’t receded, she’d just pushed it to the back, but was still there.

Bobby was dead. The family was still mourning his loss.

Raf and Danny were still at the hospital, and despite the fact that they were getting better, it would take them months to be back in their normal states.

And she? She was fine. She was alive, in good health, she was able to walk to anywhere she wanted, she could do whatever she wanted with her life, but instead of doing something good, she was just screwing the lives she had around.

She had been trying so hard to focus on Keiki but in the end, she only ended up ruining her. Her presence at Bryce's apartment had cracked her relationship with Keiki, and also Keiki's with Bryce.

Was there anything good she could do at this point or she'll just spend her entire life failing by default?

The following hours happened in an almost familiar blur trying to ignore the fact that she was alone and that the reason she was back at her room was because she was a complete failure that couldn't even help a fifteen-year-old girl.

She wasn’t really paying attention when her friends arrived and greeted her. She didn’t even know how she managed to talk about the past days and ask them how they were doing, how Kyra, Rafael, and Danny were, but she did. Somehow, the words came out of her mouth, somehow she understood the information her ears received.

And then, suddenly, Bryce was in front of her, talking, both sitting on her bed.

When he had arrived? Did she kiss him? What was he saying?

“Elle, babe?”

“Uh?”

“Are you okay?”

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I just wanna know why you didn’t tell me you were planning to come back.”

"Oh, that. Actually, it's not that I had it planned, I made the decision today after I spoke with Keiki."

“What Keiki has to do with this?”

“She…” No, she had to stop doing that. “I… I think it’s better if you ask her yourself.”

“But you know what was happening with her?”

“Yes, and after she told me, I thought the best I could do was get out of there and just try to do something with my life.”

“You had a fight with my sister, my teenage sister, and you just left?”

His voice was teasing but also kind of... recriminatory. What the fuck? Anger started to itch in her guts.

“Oh my god, you cannot be serious.”

“What?”

“I did what you should’ve done to help you, and you’re judging me?”

“No, I’m not saying that!”

"Well, it looks like. I did what you've been avoiding all this time and now I decided that I'm done with this situation, that's all."

“What are you talking about?”  

Eleanor rolled her eyes, slowly losing it, “Bryce, you’ve spent the last three days asking me what was happening with Keiki because you're incapable of facing conflict, and I'm simply done with that, I can't do it anymore. I realized that me meddling between you two was doing more harm than good."

“Do me harm? How can you say that? You’ve helped us a lot!”

“Well, ask your sister and she’ll tell you the contrary. She wasn’t comfortable with my presence there because you’re not giving her the attention she deserves,  and I honestly believe she’s right.”

“Elle, come on, she’s just overreacting, I don’t give her attention, ha! I give her all my attention.”

“You know that’s not true. And it’s not the only problem. You’re always relying on me when things are wrong with Keiki and that’s not fair.”

“Oh, I see. My mother’s words did their work on you too.”

“What? No! It’s just….”

“Just what?"

Eleanor released a sigh, her hands started trembling, her core blazing with anger. She couldn’t hold it anymore. This was not only about what had happened with Keiki. It was so, so much more than that. "I can’t take it anymore, Bryce I… just can't. I CAN’T!”

Bryce stared at her with eyes widened, surprised by her sudden outburst.

“Shit, I’m sorry… It’s just… I’m tired, Bryce. Of this situation with Keiki, the stupid accident, the mess I have in my head… I…”

“Babe…” He whispered, enveloping her in his arms before she broke in sobs.

"I'm doing everything wrong, Bryce. I...I wanted to help Keiki but I screwed it up instead. I wanted to save Senator Farrugia and instead, I killed an innocent man and two innocent lives were affected… I … Shit, I can't…"

“Oh, god, babe. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head, “I’m the one who’s sorry, I promised you I’d be with you but I just can’t.”

“No, babe. This is my fault, I shouldn't have let this happen, not when you’re going through something so difficult, I’m sorry.”

They stayed in silence for a while, Eleanor letting the warm embrace soothe her like so many times before, but there was still so much anger bottled up. With herself, of course, but she was trying not to take it on Bryce.

“Don’t worry, baby, we’ll face this together,”

“No,” she said, pulling away from him.

“What do you mean no?”

"Bryce, don't you understand? You have to focus on Keiki, not on me, for god's sake!"

“But…”

“I need to do this on my own,” snapped, categorically.

Suddenly, Eleanor realized that coming back to her apartment wouldn’t be enough to set boundaries between her and Bryce, and to have the needed space to work on her issues, on the mess she had as life.

She had to get completely out of the way. Out of the city. Out of the state.

“I think I… I’m going to Cincinnati,” she announced a moment later.

“What?

“I need  some time and space to think, Bryce, I need to set some boundaries and I can’t have them if you’re close.”

“Boundaries? Why would you need to set boundaries with me?”

“I just need time to think, okay? Everything has happened so fast these past weeks, that we haven’t even had the chance to talk about us, about what happened with Ethan, about what’s next for us. Things have been just happening, things have been changing, and now I feel like I’m not ready for that.”

Eleanor could swear that Bryce paled at those words. God, there she was again, screwing it all up, but she needed to be honest with him.

“What do you mean you’re not ready?”

“I’m not ready to give that kind of compromise right now, Bryce. Our relationship at first was… casual or… I don’t know, without projecting too much, because nothing was settled between us, and now that we’re committed, there’s a lot of decisions to make, a lot of things to give to the relationship, and I really, really want to do it, I wanna make plans with you,  but I can’t do it, Bryce. I’m not okay, so I’m not in a position to give anything in our relationship, and that’s not fair to you.”

And now his eyes were glimmering with tears and widened in a mix of desperation and pain, “Are you breaking up with me?” he said in a breaking voice.

She hated herself for giving him that impression with her own words.

“What? No! Of course not!” She reassured instantly, “I’m just being completely honest about how I feel. Just take it as I told you, I’m not in a position to give anything at this moment so I’m just taking a time away to regain some stability and solve my issues, so I can come back to you… not healed, but at least ready and stable to give everything our relationship deserves.”

Bryce didn’t look so convinced.

“Love, you deserve the best, only the best, and at this moment I can’t give you anything. The only thing I have is problems and I don’t wanna give you that burden when you already have so much on your plate with Keiki. I’m doing this for me, but also for you, for us. I don’t wanna ruin what we have.”

After her words settled in him, he breathed deeply, “Okay.”

“Do you understand now why I’m doing this?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. I’m sorry for reacting that way.”

Eleanor shook her head, furrowing her lips, “I’m sorry for putting you in this position,” she said, cupping his cheeks with both hands. “And please, never, ever doubt about my feelings for you, okay? I would never give up so easily on us. You never did and neither I will.”

Bryce simply nodded, unable to say another word.

It was hard for him to accept it, but only with time he would realize she wasn't lying.

____

A/N: Hello! I know I promised no more +6k chapters, buuuuut... it just happend, there were a lot of things to discuss in this chapter, besides were getting closer to the end 🥺 Thank you so much for reading and giving me your support in all this journey! I big hug to each and every one of you, I hope you're doing well!!

#bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #bryce x mc #bryce x casey #open heart #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #oh choices #oh fanfic #playchoices #choices #choices stories you play #pixelberry

[mindofharry]

Motion sickness G.D

chapter 2.

in which julie realises she’s only with gray because of their kids.

chapter 1 is linked here !! angst, cheating, swearing! feedback is welcome <3

tw: TW: some of the stuff mentioned in this series might trigger some people. please don’t read if you get triggered easily!

the first time grayson slept with olivia, he felt immense guilt. This feeling that just stayed in his stomach for weeks. He felt sick everytime he looked at julie - even hearing her breathe next to him at night made him feel sick. Grayson had never felt so bad about himself in ages. He was throwing himself a pity party, and that alone nearly cost him his marriage. Grayson just wasn’t there. but with olivia he felt okay again, he felt alive, he felt young and loved. olivia was like his drug, he couldn’t get enough and he wouldn’t ever stop.

during those times, when grayson was out and about acting like he didn’t have two young boys at his home, julie feel in the comfort of ethan, graysons twin brother. ethan was just always there, always ready to bed the father the boys had lost.

“ethans not their dad, julie!” grayson yelled his face red, julie wiped a tear falling down her brown skin “he’s more of a father than you’ll ever be” she yelled right back, walking out of sitting room.

that had broke grayson. Every bit of guilt he felt vanished, almost instantly. He said he was off for a walk - but he went to fuck his business partner instead.

from then on he focussed on olivia, and his relationship with her. He forgot about parties, for example alexander second birthday. which really had julie wondering, where his priorities lied. Grayson always said the highlight of his day, his picking up sebastian from school and letting him pick out some junk food on a friday. they would head home and all as a family cuddle on the couch and watch a movie together. Gray hasn’t done that in a while, it’s just been julie, sometimes ethan. and most times, julie can’t stomach it. She feels physically sick, thinking of the times they used to have. How grayson is now doing all of that, with his his new girl. with her.

julie had known for a long time, he was with someone else - grayson was her bestfriend, before anything else. they went to high school together, after school activities, wrecked havoc in the town they both grew up in. Julie knew immediately when grayson started seeing someone else. He didn’t kiss her goodnight, didn’t pull her legs onto his lap, he didn’t offer to watch one of their comfort movies. She could smell the girls perfume, and see the hickies forming on his neck. Julie denied everything, call her naive, but in order to move on and be the best mother possible for her boys, she just had to deny, deny, deny.

“you’re getting a divorce”

julie sighed, tears still rolling down her face. “yeah. i guess” she mumbled looking down at her hands. ethan sighed bringing his hand up to her face. “you can all stay here, with me. it’s too big for one person anyways” he smiled kissing her forehead, in a friendly way. “i need to talk to him first, see where his heads at. i think we’re on the same page, at least i hope” julie grumbled the last part. If he was cheating, which she was complete sure he was, this would be an easy divorce. no mess. of course the kids will want to be around him, but she didn’t mind discussing that with grayson either.

“i just have a feeling it’s not going to go the way i see it in my head” julie sighed taking a sip from the wine - it was much needed, she decided. ethans eyes brown furrow in confusion “what do you mean?” he asked his hand resting on her knee. “i know he’s cheating on me, i know it. But i have feeling he’s going to fight me on this for a long time.” she confessed a finger going around the edge of the wine glass. “he’s selfish like that. i mean i tried to do couples councilling, could always throw that back at him” julie giggled to herself, remembering it. “fuck, that was bad wasn’t it?” ethan said giggling too.

julie nodded shaking her head, remembering probably one of the worst day of her life.

“i don’t even know why we’re here. our marriage is perfectly fine” grayson groaned to the therapist. julie just rolled her eyes settling into couch. “well you’re wife doesn’t seem to think so, so let’s have a chat” the therapist said sighing a little. Julie couldn’t help but feel bad for their therapist, mrs brown. She had better things to me doing - no matter how many times she encouraged julie to come, and told her this is what she does, she likes to help. julie still couldn’t bring herself to say the words “i need help. i am stuck. i need to leave” it was like something stopped her, like whenever she reached out for help, it was like someone had a gun against her head. marriage councilling was the best she was going to get - and mrs brown was glad she came along, for at least one session.

“i’m going to ask you a series of questions, and please answer them as honestly as you can. this is a safe place, whatever is said in here, stays in here” mrs brown said putting a leg over the other. julie picked at her skinny jeans, nervously. she missed her kids, she thought. does grayson miss them too? he hasn’t seen them in 3 days she thought. too busy apparently.

“julie, what are you thinking about right now?”

the question caught her off guard. she didn’t want to admit what she was thinking about - she could feel the guilt creep up on her, for the 100th time today. “i’m thinking about my kids” she halflied, smiling to herself. her two tanned, curly headed beautiful boys came to mind when she spoke. god, she just wanted a cuddle off of them both right now - it’s better than a whole bottle of wine and a raging headache, she thought.

mrs brown nodded “there’s more, go on” she pushed nodding her head and giving julie a reassuring smile.

“i was wondering if grayson missed them to. as much as i do. even though it’s only been an hour” she mumbled scared to look up at meet his eyes. grayson sighed wiping a hand down his face “of course i miss them. they’re my kids” he said his hands resting on his knees.

“you haven’t see them in three days”

“i’ve been busy” grayson grumbled, making you laugh out loud, mrs brown looked back to you raising an eyebrow. “going to parties and forgetting your son because you were hungover, is not busy. it’s utterly pathetic, grayson” you say crossing your arms over your chest.

grayson closed his eyes, not saying anything in response. your therapist threw a few other questions about, before calling it a day. “come back same time, thursday, i’ll have an exercise prepared for you then” she said smiling shaking both of your hands.

“god, you embarrass me something, julie. marriage councilling? fuck off” he nearly yelled in the parking lot, speed walking off of his car. grayson angrily pulled open his car door, and then slamming it shut. all julie did, was give him the middle finger and then sob in her car for half an hour.

“that was a mess and half” julie mumbled coming back to reality. ethan nodded in agreement “i’d never seen him so angry. probably because he knew you guys needed it. his pride got in the way.” ethan said not even feeling bad for his brother. He had lost respect for grayson way back, but he lost interest in whatever shit he was pulling, the first time julie broke down in front of him. julie was his sister, not by blood, but that didn’t matter to him. julie was his sister, and he’d do anything to keep her safe and away from bad.

he just didn’t think the bad would be his brother.

“mama”

there talk was interrupted by a soft voice, usually it was alexander wanting to stay and cuddle with his mama, but no, sebastian was here. and julie could tell he really needed a kiss and a cuddle.

“don’t cry mama, i’m here for you” sebastian said wiping his mother’s left over tears, and kissing both of her cheeks. that just made julie want to cry even more. “mama loves you so much, seb” she paused “wanna watch some, movies with uncle e and i?”she finished with a grin and sebastian nodded climbing onto his mother’s lap.

ethan couldn’t help but smile kissing sebastians head. Ethan turned on the movie his hand still on julie’s knee. she looked over at him, her head resting on sebastians.

“thank you, e” she whispered placing a hand on his. ethan shook his head smiling softly.

“anything for you, jules”

#motion sickness! #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fic #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan insta #grayson #dolan #grayson dolan #blurb #blurbs #fic #fics #fanfic #fanfiction #asks #requests #imagine #imagines #angst #grayson dolan angst #fluff #grayson dolan fluff #smut #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan concepts #grayson dolan x y/n #grayson x reader #ethan #ethan dolan #ethan dolan blurb

[jamespotterthefirst]

How Do I Love Thee? (Ethan x MC)

Regency Era AU 

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Miss Lilac Allende) Word count: 5K Warning: More historical pining Premise: Their kiss marked the end of their medical apprenticeship, but is that the end for them? Part three of She Walks in Beauty and A Red, Red Rose. 

I.

Everything at Edenbrook reminded him of her. He could not work in peace in his own study without thinking of her torturous lips moving in unison with his, of the sinful little sighs he evoked from her, of her coy hands losing themselves in his hair. 

Ethan groaned. 

The clock that particular morning read well past nine in the morning, which meant his study would be desolate for the remainder of the day and thus safe for him to use. A small stab of disappointment made itself present in his chest before Ethan resolutely pushed it away.  Much like he had for the past two weeks, he reminded himself that avoiding her was the best alternative, for both of them. 

Ethan swallowed down the brief bout of despair that flooded him. Not seeing her was a torment, sinking in his stomach like a boulder. Seeing her and enduring the cold, determined manner in which she avoided his gaze was much, much worse. 

_______________

II. 

 Every nerve in her body was alive with anxious energy as she traveled down a deserted hall. With a deep, steadying breath, Lilac willed herself to relax, reminding herself that business had taken him away to London. There was no possibility of running into him as she extended her stay at Edenbrook that morning. 

Suppressing a sigh, she tried not to dwell on his absence. 

It was true that they barely saw much of each other as of late, but having him so far away was disheartening and it made the loss of him much more tangible. It broke her everyday that went by. 

Lilac startled at the sight of someone turning the corner. 

Mrs. Martinez smiled kindly at her, no doubt noting her reaction but choosing not to comment on it. Instead, she said, “Thank goodness you are back, dear. And already changed out of that dreadful costume,” she motioned to the bundle of gentlemen’s clothes Lilac carried in her arms. “We can set off at once.”

She grimaced at the thought of going home. “Actually, I am staying behind to study some more.”

Mrs. Martinez sent her a knowing look. “Study?” she repeated suspiciously. “Is that so?”

Lilac’s posture became a little straighter. “Yes, Dr. Ramsey is in London and Dr. Banerji assured me his library is at my disposal for however long I need it.”

The older woman looked as unconvinced as ever. “Is this really about studying?” she asked innocuously, “Or is this about avoiding Lord Carrick?”

The name and the accuracy of her statement sent her stomach sinking. Her silence was all the admission Mrs. Martinez needed for she laughed triumphantly. 

“I may be old but I am not a fool, my dear,” she chided, though not unkindly. “And you forget that I know you since the day you were born.” 

Lilac averted her gaze. “I do not wish to spend any time with anyone if I could be using that time to study instead.”

“It will appease your father,” Mrs. Martinez returned. “What is so unappealing about this suitor, corazón? He is a baron, perfectly pleasant, and exceedingly handsome. Is that not pleasing to you?”

Unbidden, thoughts of Ethan’s piercing blue eyes taunted her. It was all she could think about for the past few weeks. Her traitorous mind recalled the feel of his lips, surprisingly soft against hers, his hands clinging on to her waist, and the sound of her name in his spellbinding voice. 

Lilac shook her head imperceptibly. At once, she dismissed all thoughts of the man who wanted nothing to do with her. 

Mrs. Martinez waited for an answer.  

“Lord Carrick is decent enough,” she admitted hesitantly. “Though I believe you and father are overestimating his interest in me. As you said, he is a wealthy, handsome baron, which makes him the most eligible bachelor in the area. He cannot seriously consider the daughter of a foreign merchant who is almost six and twenty.”

“I would not be so sure of that, dear,” her companion returned sagely. “He seems completely besotted. I would expect an offer any day now.”

Lilac allowed herself to consider that. She had been so close to being a spinster that the thought of marriage had not crossed her mind in recent years. Her plan had been to study and practice medicine, even if they both had to be clandestine.

 That was all her heart desired. 

At least, it was all it desired up until a few months ago. 

“Could we please stay a bit longer?” was all she replied with, determined to change the subject. 

Mrs. Martinez sighed, defeated for the time being. “Alright, dear,” she allowed. “We can stay for another hour. That might be all the time we can get away with before your father starts asking questions.”

Lilac nodded, already thinking of ways to turn that hour into two. After Mrs. Martinez set off for the Edenbrook gardens she loved so much, Lilac continued her journey down the hall. 

The study, once the source of so much happiness, sent an icy stab of despair through her at first glance. Lilac forced it aside and began browsing through the vast collection of books.

She had just opened her selection to an interesting chapter when the door of the study opened.

“You promised me an hour, it's only been thirty–”

Lilac stopped abruptly as she whirled around, eyes landing on the tall, broad shouldered figure at the doorway that was decidedly not Mrs. Martinez. 

Doctor Ethan Ramsey stood before her, hair windswept and handsome face bright from the biting breeze outside. The early September sun shining through the tall windows cast an almost inhuman glow upon him, making him appear as destructively beautiful as ever. 

He looked just as shocked to see her, frozen mid stride. 

The silence that followed was loaded and wildly tense. 

Lilac opened her mouth, determined to break the unbearable pause. No words came to mind, however, paralyzed as she was by his presence and the way her chest ached for him. 

It was debilitating and she loathed it. 

Ethan, meanwhile, quietly observed her in the silence, eyes ablaze with an emotion she couldn't quite place, one that kindled a warmth in the pit of her stomach. It was as though he was struggling to decide if she was real and standing before him. 

It forced Lilac to finally look away, a painful knot in her throat. 

“I did not think you would still be here–” he blurted at the same time she hurriedly said, “I thought you were in London, otherwise–” 

They both cut off at the same time. 

Mortified and heart a thundering chaos, she wished for nothing more than to disappear into the ground.

She cleared her throat, refusing to look at him. 

“My apologies, sir,” she started with as much grace as she could manage. “I only wished to borrow a book for my studies. I will be taking my leave–” 

“No,” he said much too quickly. She glanced at him, instantly regretting her weakness.

Ethan was watching her, eyes roaming her face. 

“You can stay, Ms. Allende,” he said and the formal mode of address sent a little pang through her. 

Lilac, torn between fleeing from the heat of his gaze and the longing to finally be in his presence again, opened her mouth to argue. Ethan shook his head, perhaps knowing what she was about to say. 

“I insist,” he continued, unyielding. “I have a house call with a patient anyway so you will not be disturbed here.”

Before she could protest, he picked up his medical kit from a nearby table and retreated. As the door closed behind him, the ache in her throat swelled, her heart shattering into impossibly smaller pieces. 

_______________

III. 

Thoughts of beautiful green eyes, appearing dim and forlorn as they fell on him, haunted Ethan when he finished that evening’s house call. He threw the empty vial into his bag with more force than necessary, desperately pushing the specter of Lilac Allende’s disdain away. 

“Goodness!” his patent exclaimed, reminding Ethan of where he was. “Is my condition so severe that it inspires such an outburst from the most reserved man I have ever met?”

Slightly embarrassed, Ethan turned to the older woman who watched him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. In her frail state, the widowed baroness looked somehow smaller. 

He offered her a tentative smile. “You are vastly improving with every visit, my Lady. Whatever it is you are doing to improve your condition,  continue it twice as often.”

At this, she laughed, the sound almost sounding like a croak. “Then I shall double my efforts to avoid forming a scowl and laughing at the men foolish enough to wear one.” She threw Ethan a significant look. 

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, the first genuine laugh in weeks. Ethan liked the baroness well enough. It was her son, on the other hand, whom he couldn’t stomach. 

Almost as if summoning him with the thought alone, the door of the bedchamber opened to allow for the baron’s entrance. 

Lord Carrick sauntered in with a stride that commanded respect, even if the man himself did not entirely deserve it. He was tall, though not taller than Ethan, and many women often referred to him as handsome. For a wild moment, Ethan wondered if Lilac found the baron handsome as well, before he forced himself to remember that he had no right to wonder about her thoughts. 

The ever-present sneer broadened when Lord Carrick’s eyes fell on Ethan. “How is my mother?” he inquired, skipping all pleasantries. Ethan was glad for that. There was only so much social conversation he could endure and he had spent it all with the baroness. 

“She has improved greatly since my last visit,” Ethan replied, unable to keep the terse edge from his voice. This seemed to entertain the baron greatly for his lips curled further in derision.

Suppressing the sudden urge to hit him, Ethan added, “However, she should continue to get plenty of bed rest in addition to the medicine I am administering for the pain.”

The baroness’s lively smile faltered ever so slightly at the words "bed rest". Lord Carrick, noticing his mother's shift, let out a bark of a laugh, loud and imposing as everything else about him. 

“You will have to forgive my mother, Dr. Ramsey,” he said with a cheerfulness that was entirely too artificial to Ethan's ears. “You see, she was eagerly awaiting the grand ball we will be hosting here at Kenmore tomorrow evening.”

Ethan had received the invitation, sent out of social obligation no doubt. He had cast it aside, giving it no thought since. 

The baroness gave a small delighted squeal at the mention of the event. “Dr. Ramsey, you must  join us! All of the most influential families from all over will attend. It will be a most delightful occasion indeed!”

Ethan planned to avoid it for all those reasons precisely. Instead of offering empty promises, he remained silent. 

The baron, on the other hand, was watching Ethan with interested, narrowed eyes, as though carefully measuring his reaction. In a tone that he no doubt believed to be casual, he said, “Yes, Doctor, you must attend. The evening promises to be particularly joyous as I intend to secure an engagement.”

Ethan remained very still, offering no perceptible reaction that would betray the cold dread coursing through him. He was not entirely sure what prompted him to respond, but he said, “I was not aware you were to be married.”

“I am,” the other man replied at once, with an acute possessiveness Ethan did not miss. “I just returned from speaking to her father and happily securing his approval.” A deliberate pause, then, “Excellent family, the Allendes. Miss Lilac Allende is no doubt the greatest beauty in the county. Don't you agree?” 

But Ethan had stopped listening at the mention of her name, an icy, iron fist clenching around his insides. He could not explain away the abrupt hollowness in his chest or the way his throat constricted painfully. 

“Doctor?” the baroness asked with concern. 

Ethan was not entirely sure he responded. In fact, he did not remember with certainty if he said any goodbyes before he left Kenmore with haste. One minute, he was inside the grand estate, the next he was mounted on his horse, galloping at blinding speed toward Edenbrook. 

Except, Edenbrook should have been the last place he should go. Everything about that place reminded him of her. 

Lilac. 

Soon to be engaged. 

Part of him knew this would happen. How could it not? She was lovelier than anyone he had ever set eyes on. Her winning charm was bound to captivate someone eventually. Wasn't he a prime example of what those green eyes could do to a person? 

But she was so much more that a lovely face and bewitching, expressive eyes. She was a wealth of compassion and kindness, bestowed freely on anyone who needed it, like the sun giving its warmth selflessly. She was a fierce, determined protector, both for herself and for those who needed a champion. She was a beautiful, brilliant mind, unyielding in its quest to learn more with the sole purpose of improving a bleak world that at times did not deserve her. 

She was everything. 

His mind whirled aimlessly with a world of thoughts as Ethan commanded his horse to push faster, the obliging beast increasing its speed. The hooves against the grit of the road did little to drown the pounding at his ears. He would give anything— his money, his estate, his damn sanity— to cease all thoughts of her. 

And all the while, the goddamn pain in his chest refused to subside. 

The biting wind whipped against his face, gray clouds swirling above with the promise of rain. He had only just begun to wonder if he would be caught in the downpour when something small blurred out of a nearby bush, blocking their path. 

His horse let out a startled, deafening neigh before throwing Ethan off its back. 

A sickening crunch, a wave of blinding pain, and the memory of green eyes before darkness overtook him. 

_______________

IV.

The sheer terror that gripped her was debilitating as she ran through fields of tall grass and mud. Every intake of breath was a painful ache, every step arduous with trembling knees. Lilac did not know how her weightless body had the will to carry her, but it did not cease until Edenbrook loomed closer. 

She halted at the grand entrance of the estate, breathless and eyes stinging with unshed tears, the note that delivered the dreadful news clutched painfully in her fist. There to greet her was Dr. Banerji, though his unsmiling, melancholic demeanor did nothing to comfort her.

“Is he–?”

“He’s alive,” he assured her solemnly. 

But she did not dare to feel relieved until she saw him herself. 

She discovered she was entirely wrong mere minutes later when the sight of his bandaged body brought little solace to her. Her feet carried her to his bedside with such resolve that she did not pause to apologize to the startled servant she almost shoved aside. An invisible rope tugged her to him, as it always had since perhaps the moment she met him, except this time, it would not be abated until she sat by his side. 

Very gingerly, she took his uninjured hand in hers. 

He was asleep, chest rising and falling gently. Lilac bit her lip to suppress an onslaught of emotion. The sight of him vulnerable and broken was a sacrilege. He should be awake, towering over her, fighting back a laugh at one of her dreadful jokes or piercing her with those eyes of his. 

Ethan's handsome face was relaxed as he slept, long dark lashes fluttering with every breath he took. In this form, he looked almost peaceful save for the sling around his left arm, the bruises over his bare torso, and the bandage on his forehead already blooming with blood. 

Dr. Banerji moved to tend to the wound but Lilac intervened. 

“Please,” she pleaded quietly. “Let me.” 

He gave her a kind, understanding nod. “I shall give you a moment with him,” he added, his benign eyes falling on their joined hands. 

After Dr. Banerji exited the room, accompanied by the servants, Lilac set to work on his wound. She meticulously washed her hands in a nearby basin and carefully doused fresh gauze with carbolic acid, just like he had taught her. Very carefully, she began to clean the wound. 

The sting of the acid caused him to stir, his head rolling slowly from side to side in protest. Slowly, his eyelids fluttered open. 

When his bleary eyes finally focused, they found hers at once, with a flash of disbelief to see her there. 

“You're here,” he muttered, his voice hoarse with disuse. 

“I am,” she assured him. 

His blue eyes took in every inch of her face before they closed, as if in worship. 

“Did I perish?”

Lilac paused at that, caught completely off guard. “No,” she said at last. “But you suffered several serious injuries.”

Ethan laughed, the sound bitter and entirely humorless. 

“It's no laughing matter,” she admonished. “You could've died, Ethan.”

Her voice cracked slightly at the last few words.

 Ethan's eyes flew open at that, or perhaps at the use of his name. In her distress, she had forgotten all about proper modes of address. 

As he looked at her, he seemed unmoved by the severity of the accident. Lilac's temper flared up before she could stop it, fueled by the terror of almost losing him forever. 

“How could you be so reckless?” 

His eyebrows shot up at that. “How is a house call reckless?” he asked patiently, almost as if asking her to explain a passage on immunization she had found interesting. 

“Going on horseback at the heels of a storm? Completely senseless,” she shot back. “You could've taken the carriage, as you always do.”

“I only took the carriage when you accompanied me,” he said calmly. 

A small pause in which the unspoken became evident to both. There was no need to use the carriage because she wasn’t his apprentice anymore.

 As though reading her thoughts, he shook his head, the movement making him wince slightly. “I am not implying this is in any way your fault. It was simpler to go on horseback, particularly when I was only going five miles to Kenmore.”

Lilac became very still at the mention of the estate. 

Moving her eyes away from his, she busied herself with cleaning more gauze with the carbolic acid. She could feel Ethan’s eyes watching her closely, sending a wave through her that made her feel feverish. It was astonishing how he always managed to do that without even uttering a single word. 

“You're bleeding again,” she observed when the silence reached its peak. 

Ethan said nothing as he continued to look at her. Something flickered in his eyes and she could swear he was willing her—begging her— to share something with him. 

It befuddled her. 

Unsure of what to say, she directed her attention to his wound. 

“Don't move,” she instructed softly. 

With a feather light touch, she dabbed the gash. Ethan hissed but otherwise did not protest as she worked. 

“How dire is the damage, Doctor?” he asked when she began dressing the wound. He uttered the word with utmost respect and it sent a thrill through her. 

Before she could manage a breathless answer, Lilac became acutely aware of how close they were from one another, close enough that a lock of her long, unpinned hair brushed against his naked chest as she worked. 

Ethan's hooded eyes traced its path. 

 Time stood still in the dim room, the air crackling with heavy tension. 

Ethan’s chest began to rise and fall in quick succession as he regarded her, making her fingers tremble. When she finished her work, she remained frozen in place, the heat of his body, the hypnotizing smell of his cologne, and the ardor of his eyes transfixing her entirely. 

Very slowly and with bated breath, she moved her eyes to meet his. 

He was watching her with a tenderness so pure and sincere, she was certain she would remember it until the day she died. The muscles in his throat worked as he swallowed, his face tense with a pained expression. He remained unmoving, as though afraid that any sudden movement might make her disappear. 

“Lilac,” he whispered, the sound so adoring, it tugged at her chest. 

Her fingers, which still rested on the fresh dressings of his wound, slowly trailed down his face. Ethan closed his eyes. 

“You should rest,” she whispered back. 

He was already obliging, his muscles relaxing under her touch. 

“Don't go,” he murmured, half conscious. 

Her throat constricted with emotion as she watched him succumb to exhaustion. The thought that she could have easily lost him forever sent a fresh shock of panic through her body. If that terrible prospect had become a reality, Lilac didn’t think she could survive it.

Before she was fully aware of what she was doing, she pressed her lips gently to his forehead. The gesture felt so undeniably right that she decided then she was exactly where she belonged. 

At his side.

“I won't,” she promised as sleep claimed him. 

_______________

V.

Rain pattered gently against his bedroom window when he awoke, his body feeling like lead. He groaned when he shifted on the bed, pulling at his injured arm. His head throbbed painfully, and when he reflexively reached up, his fingers touched the neat dressings of a wound. 

The memories of her fingers against his skin came in a flash. 

Ethan sat bolt upright, instantly regretting the action as pain shot through his arm again. He swallowed it down, eyes scanning the dim bedchamber, desperate to see her. 

“She's not here,” Naveen said from the armchair in the corner of the room. 

Ethan sank back into the mound of pillows, his head threatening to split open. Unsolicited, the memory of Carrick's proclamation before the accident echoed in his mind. If his mental calculations were correct, the Kenmore ball was last night. 

“Right,” he said, masking all disappointment from his expression. “She is engaged now.” His chest felt oddly hollow at the words. 

A brief memory of the previous day replayed in his head. Lilac, so close to him that the lovely smell of her jasmine perfume tormented his senses. His half conscious whisper, begging her to stay with him instead of going to Kenmore. 

Naveen, on the other hand, was giving him an odd look that was equal parts befuddlement and concern. “That head injury is worse than I thought,” he said in response. “What on Earth are you going on about?” 

“The Kenmore ball,” he said simply as though that was enough explanation. His mentor looked even more confused and slightly more alarmed. Ethan pressed on, “Tobias Carrick was going to propose to Lilac at that ball.”

Naveen's eyebrows shot up. “Well, unless Tobias Carrick is gifted with telepathy, I can assure you that did not happen.”

Ethan blinked. 

His shock amused Naveen for he chuckled. “Miss Allende did not go to Kenmore last night,” he explained. “She's been at your bedside this whole time. Quite stubbornly, might I add.”

Ethan had no words, too overwhelmed by the sense of hope blooming in his chest. 

Another laugh from Naveen, before he added, “And even if that poor girl had left your bedside to attend a frivolous Kenmore ball, what makes you believe she would ever accept Lord Carrick? Should I really be that concerned for your head?” 

Ethan ignored this as a sudden urgency overtook him. 

Last night, he had felt only half awake and nowhere near coherent enough to properly tell her what he had realized before he fell off that horse, what his heart already knew and silently harbored for many months. Coming so close to death made him realize that he had to let her know, he had to tell her what threatened to make his chest burst. 

“Where did she go?” 

“She said she was going to the Edenbrook gardens for– Where are you going?” 

Ethan ignored Naveen's protests about bed rest.   

He found her twenty minutes later after a reluctant servant helped him get dressed. 

Unaware of his presence, she serenely walked down the cobblestone path, protected from the slight drizzle of rain by the thick foliage forming a lush, green tunnel. She wore a thick coat but no hat, her dark hair loosely pinned and falling in waves down her back. 

Among the flower beds lining the path, she looked a lovely addition to their midst. 

Lilac turned when he was mere feet away, surprise evident in her features, closely followed by disapproval. “Dr. Ramsey,” she said by way of greeting. “You should be resting.” 

“I had to see you,” he told her, foregoing any preamble. He was done concealing the truth. 

This made her pause briefly. 

When she recovered, she said, “I was to return in a few minutes.” Then gesturing toward the estate, she added. “We can go in together.”

When he made no effort to move, she arched a delicate brow at him. 

“What I have to tell you cannot be delayed.”

“What could possibly be so important that–” 

“I love you.” 

The three words, uttered so calmly and undeniably, adorned the long silence that followed. 

Looking entirely startled, Lilac inhaled a small breath, the air catching at her throat softly.

Before Ethan could lose his newfound bravery, he continued, “From the very first moment you assessed me with those brilliant eyes of yours I became enraptured. Unknowingly, I placed my heart in your hands, Lilac, where it stayed all those months we worked together and where it remains today.”

Her beautiful lips parted, eyes shining bright with an emotion he did not dare to analyze just yet. Somewhere above them, the rainfall hastened, droplets of water drumming against the dense canopy of leaves.

“Ever since that first time you broke into my study, your passion, your fierce determination inspired me to be a better man. I was–I am willing to give you anything you wish for. Even if that means a mentor or a friend or an advocate to march into St. Bard's and demand they allow you into their medical school. Anything you want, Lilac. I will not be thoughtless enough to make the choice for you again.”

“Ethan.”

The sound of his name from her lips was like a song and he briefly closed his eyes to worship it. 

“I was arrogant to push you away,” he continued, driving all his efforts at keeping his voice even. “I foolishly believed I knew what was best for you. I never once paused to ask you what you wanted. It made me no better than the people all around telling you what you can and can't be. For that, I hope you can forgive me someday.”

Another silence in which the only sound came from the rain falling softly over their heads. 

Lilac stared up at him, standing perfectly still, as though taking in his every word like a breath of fresh air. Very slowly, she moved closer to him, her face giving him no indication of her intentions. 

He held a breath, throat tight, heart beating wildly in anticipation. For a moment, he considered the possibility of her rejection and he instantly knew it would not matter. All he wanted was for her to know his true feelings, with no reservations and not expectation of anything in return.

After what seemed like an eternity, she moved even closer and took his hand. 

“You would give me anything I desire?”

“Anything.”

Her thumb skimmed over the ridges of his knuckles. Ethan glanced down, the sight of their joined hands overwhelming him with foolish hope. 

“You have already given me what I longed for the most,” she said, her face so sincere he had never been more captivated. “You have made me your equal.”

The rain was a torrent around them by now.

“All there is left is you. I want all of you, Ethan.” 

“You have me.”

And that was all the encouragement she needed. Closing the last few inches between them, she raised herself on the tips of her toes to kiss him. 

Though he remembered her kiss faithfully, his lips moved against hers in desperation, hoping to memorize their softness over and over again. Ethan's hands found their place at her waist, hers around his neck, their bodies fitting as perfectly as if they were designed to be that way. 

They remained as such, bodies and lips pressed together, until they were both breathless. 

Ethan pressed his forehead against hers. 

“I know you do not wish for a husband, otherwise I’d–” 

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Tobias Carrick,” he explained and Lilac pulled back slightly to roll her eyes. 

“I would never marry a man idiotic and presumptuous enough to announce an engagement before asking me,” she declared with such conviction that his desire for her multiplied. 

“My refusal to marry him stemmed from common sense,” she continued, every word against Carrick making it far more difficult for Ethan to keep his lips from hers. “Not from not wanting a husband,” she continued. “I wish to marry only the man I am desperately in love with.”

The deliberately charged look she gave him broke a smile across his face. 

He kissed her again. 

_______________

Epilogue

A year later. 

“A patient for Dr. Ramsey,” the servant announced at the door of their study. 

After the young girl’s departure, Lilac glanced up from her notes to shoot her husband a quizzical look. “Which Doctor Ramsey do you believe they seek?”

Ethan offered her a loving and equally charming smile, one he knew had a powerful effect on her. She tried not to be distracted by it, though she failed miserably. 

“Perhaps the best out of the two,” he replied. “Which undoubtedly means you, love.”

Lilac rolled her eyes and she bit her bottom lip, attempting to restrain a smile. 

Her husband’s eyes fell on her mouth at the movement, that familiar spark of longing glinting in their depths. In one swift movement, he crossed the length of the study and just as quickly, he had her in his arms and pressed against his desk. 

Her surprised yelp gave way to a peal of laughter. 

“We’re in the study,” she pointed out, breathless. Ethan did not seem to hear her as his lips had set to work on her neck. He made it very difficult to protest. “We can’t.”

“That’s never stopped us before,” he argued, his voice a hot whisper against her throat.

“I meant because we have a patient,” she returned. 

At that, he straightened and pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead. “Right as always,” he murmured. 

Lilac took a brief moment before parting to study him, his beautiful, chiseled face sending a rush of heat through her. Those quiet, striking eyes surveyed her curiously. 

“What?”

“I love you,” she informed him. 

Ethan beamed, the simple gesture making him look younger. She would never tire of the sight as long as she lived. 

He pressed an adoring kiss to her hand. 

“As I love you.”

_______________

Author’s Note: I want to cry with gratitude if you made it this far in this crazy, thirteen thousand word saga. (I’ve never in my life written anything this long, so you have my gratitude forever). A big thank you to everyone who read, liked, and/or commented the other two parts. Your support means everything to me. I have no words, just love for you. 

Again, pardon the title. This one was named after a beautiful poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. 

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