#i spent more time with lots of these kids than their parents considering their bedtimes

[metablood]

One for All October 2022 contribution : Growing up in his shadow.

Thanks to @aimportantdragoncollector and @mcfanely for this contest !

I followed prompt #9 "Yoichi and AFO childhood". Here we are : the young AFO, from Yoichi point of view, and how Yoichi was groomed. I gave a first name to AFO for the sake of clarity...

You can also read it on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/42062892

1566 words, not rated. TW : psychological abuse.

***

I wish I could say something like “our father beat him relentlessly”, or “money was tight at home…”. I wish I could come up with some explanation, if not an excuse, for what he did.

I wish I could reassure you, by telling you people get that bad only when they have been wronged in many ways.

I wish I could tell you evil is not ordinary.

My brother’s name was Akio Shigaraki, before he chose to become All for One. He was the first born son of a successful engineer from a car company, and a devoted housewife. At first, he appeared to be quirkless, but it was the most common outcome during the 60’s. Only around 25% of children born between 1960 and 1969 had a quirk. Our father had a quirk, but he avoided talking about it, as he considered it “feminine”. He had the ability to share his emotions and sensations by touching one’s hand. You would feel them exactly like he did. He would only use it with our mother, though. And I believed it was the key of their successful relationship.

I was born only one year later than him. But despite being close in age, he only ever wanted to be my superior. He needed to come first, always. He wanted more food, more attention from our parents, a later bedtime, longer on the swing… Of course, this behavior is normal for a toddler. But you expect them to grow out of it.

Again, our parents were very nice, patient, and emotionally stable. They explained to him this behavior was not okay. They taught him to share, to ask if anyone else wanted more dessert… Akio learned his lesson: he masked his selfishness. He still got exactly what he wanted… but made you think it was your idea!

When he was in Elementary School, we heard about a boy whose quirk disappeared. The boy was devastated of course. It was a cute quirk, which let him levitate on small distances. Doctors said that sometimes, quirks could faint, then reappear later… that some quirks took a toll on the body…  Later that year, I thought I saw Akio levitating in his bedroom, as I was passing by to go to the toilet. Then he came to me, grabbed my shirt, then I have no idea what happened.

No parent, teacher, service worker, could resist Akio’s charm. His wide smile enlightened any room, his calm and unique voice made everyone stop to listen to him. He spent a lot of time fixing his hair, choosing his clothes, every morning. But he made sure nobody knew he cared about his look. It had to seem effortless.

He got straight As from kindergarten to high school. Teachers praised him for his behavior and performances. But his good grades didn’t make him unpopular, far from it… He was also good at sports and an accomplished artist, which made him popular among diverse groups of teens.

Only I knew he used multiple stolen quirks all the time, while passing for quirkless. When he reached the age of 14, he had ways to improve his strength, speed, and communication skills. Of course, he would only use his quirks slightly, not to be caught having them. It means that everywhere, all the time, he was always slightly better than everyone else. Not too much so that it would seem weird… but enough that he could be praised and cherished.

Why didn’t I say anything? Well, at the time, I was still his little… thing. His tiny, delicate, forgetful, little brother.

It was a mystery for doctors and family how I could forget so much! I would be confused about the day of the week, the time of the day... I kept checking my watch and school planner every few minutes, afraid I forgot something. But then I blacked out, and I woke up in a strange place, not knowing what happened earlier that day. Other kids laughed it off “typical Yoichi, ha-ha!”. Adults became more and more infuriated with me as the years went by. At the time, nobody talked about ADHD, so they called me names, not nice ones. Anyway, it was not ADHD, but one of the first quirk my brother ever stole: mind fog.

He told be all about it, knowing nobody would believe me. He noticed this quirk at the playground, on a 6-year-old girl. Other kids would go numb, with a blank face, when she touched them. It was unintentional! She never realized she even had this quirk before my brother stole it. He took it, tested it, mastered it. He realized he could make people confused for hours, and forget all what happened during this time, and right before touching them.

Since then, he made sure to regularly “fog” me until I became famously unreliable to everyone around us. Even my very patient mother became fed up with my “shenanigans”. Who wouldn’t? I would think we are Sunday and not go to school… I would forget what and if I ate, if I did any homework earlier that day, if I took my shower… Coming back from a trip, I would be unable to remember half of it. While watching the pictures with my family, it was like watching someone else’s memories.

My brother erased at least 50% of my life out of my brain. During the other 50%, he would groom me into becoming his ally. It’s a miracle I ever had a thought of my own.

He always had a clique of his own. And he made sure I was always included, despite me being largely unpopular. Our parents were very happy about their generous first born helping his awkward little brother to make friends! So charitable! A kind soul…

Around high school, his clique started looking more and more like a cult. People in the group would get infinite grace, good luck, a sturdy social network. People out of it were only casualties, pawns for my brother to move and use as he wished. He didn’t see any evil in that, as this is how business is done, how a political party becomes successful…

We studied in fancy private schools where the headteachers would make long speeches about being the elite, networking with the children of successful people, our success crushing other schools… It was not enough to get good grades and get a place in a fancy university. We had to crush the other kids.

All day long teachers would compare students to each other, make lists and rankings, humiliate the losers. Some kids could not spend a full day at school without crying or having a breakdown. In the same times, kids who were on top of rankings could get away with being late, being mean, harassing other students… Teachers would pass by, have a look, then look away. As long as the top tier was crushing the bottom tier, it was not bullying to them, but something about “know your place”.

Did they really think that humiliating the weaker students would give them motivation to work harder, or were they simply cowards? I always wondered how they could make any sense out of this system… last time I checked, as long as you make “rankings”, somebody has to be the last one. No wonder how much you work, how hard you try, someone has to.

In the meantime, I struggled to keep up with schoolwork, as I was in the “fog” so much. But my brother kept me close, very close to him. He could not be the “first” alone, he needed minions. Here I was, small and confused, barely a shadow. He looked like the perfect big brother, I made him look less intimidating, and a trustful protector. The strong wanted to be like him, the weak wanted his protection.

All for him, every move he made was for him. He used them, he led many to their fall. But most importantly: they thought of him as their savior. It takes a lot of self-centeredness, manipulation, and lack of ethics. But when was any of these ever punished, as long as you give them a pretty face?

How could a system that made him win all the time wrong?

Which led him to another idea: a shift in society that would not beneficiate him was wrong. Quirk and super-heroic society, more and more accurate quirk diagnosis, jeopardized his criminal lifestyle.

Enemies to my brother or his group… didn’t last long. Many ended up mysteriously becoming fervent members of his group, the rest was expelled from our school, or had accidents.

Again, is it wrong? Teachers expel kids all the time… Annoying political leaders have accidents… Among humans and animals, you must be, if not the strongest, at least the fittest.

Yes, all my brother did was to fit in. He saw the Japanese school system, understood it, and decided to take it a little bit too literally. Most kids just perform, play the good student role. Not my brother. He became, deeply, what he was asked too. First. Be First, Come First, always! And make the rest of them think that something is wrong with them! So, they’ll follow you, and plead for you to help them, teach them, show them, how to be more like you!

And so, he became All for One.

#one for all october #one for all october 2022 #my hero academia #mha #mha fandom #anime and manga #fanfiction #mha fanfiction #OFA #AFO #yoichi shigaraki #All for One

[here4theheartbreak]

Bewitched by Babysitter (NamKook)

AO3 Link Here!

Relationship: Jungkook x Namjoon

Genre: smut, fluff | Rating: Explicit | Word Count: ~6.9k

Summary: Namjoon is a young, single father who is set up on a blind date. He needs a babysitter, and his friend knows just the man to help.

Tags: smut, fluff, getting together, dad Namjoon, college student Jungkook, dirty talk, bareback, rough sex, coming untouched

Dating was hard as hell. Being a single parent made it exponentially more difficult. Which was mostly why Namjoon hadn’t bothered to try. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. He was lonely, he missed intimacy both emotionally and physically… But he just couldn’t be bothered. That and, if directly asked, Namjoon would admit that the thought of leaving his girl alone to go on a date was far more stress than was worth it. She was his life, and had been since the day she was put in his arms.

But Mingi was beginning to get older, and Namjoon knew he’d need to loosen that grip eventually. She was due to go to school for the first time the next year, and he’d still not spent more than a few hours away from her, save for when his parents wrenched her away for a grandparent play date. 

It was his best friend, Yoongi, that had suggested the blind date. And the babysitter. Jeon Jungkook was a handsome twenty-one-year-old college student. He was finishing up his junior year, and Yoongi knew him through his boyfriend; Hoseok, who was a frequent guest teacher in one of Jungkook’s dance classes. So, he was an adult, responsible, and came highly praised. The date, on the other hand, was simply someone Yoongi knew. Minimal information, but he figured they’d get along and didn’t want to spoil the surprise. Namjoon would have much rather spent the evening playing games with Mingi. 

But, if anything to appease his friend, Namjoon begrudgingly prepped for the date, cleaning himself up and making himself look quite presentable. He worked from home, and often forgot what going out clothing looked like, but a quick photo to Yoongi and a thumbs up emoji response told him he’d managed to pull something off. He was just applying a touch of cologne when the doorbell rang.

“I get it!” Screamed Mingi, who had been excited about the prospect of a new friend all week since Namjoon had broken the news. He rushed out behind her, his heart pounding in his ears. Maybe he’d hate the guy. A bad gut feeling, a drug smell, something. Anything to cancel this date. 

Namjoon came around the side of the door that Mingi had thrown open. His breath slammed from his chest, the oxygen seeming to leave the room. Standing on his doorstep was the most beautiful man Namjoon had ever seen. He wore an open leather jacket over a simple black t-shirt. His jeans were far too tight (they were just right, who was he kidding), and had a perfectly placed thigh rip, revealing musculature that any man of their age group would envy. Heavy, flat soled sneakers and a perfectly styled undercut topped off the look, the neon red strap of a backpack visible over one shoulder.

“You must be Kim Namjoon.” 

The boy’s voice was just as heavenly as the rest of his body. He lowered his gaze and grinned, his nose crinkling to reveal large front teeth. “And you must be Kim Mingi. My name’s Jungkook. I heard you’re in charge tonight,” he said. There was no hint of baby talk in his voice – in fact it didn’t change one octave, something Namjoon appreciated. He abhorred baby talk. Jungkook crouched down and offered his hand to her. Mingi giggled and shook it, looking up at Namjoon. 

“I’m in charge!”

“Always, princess,” Namjoon said. Jungkook rose once more and stuck his hand out over Mingi’s head. 

“Pleased to meet you. Hobi-hyung’s told me a lot about you.”

“Not too much bad, I hope.”

“Not a thing.”

“Please, come in. I’ll show you around. You’re right on time.”

Jungkook entered, stepping around Mingi. He kicked off his sneakers at the door and followed Namjoon through the house. 

“The kitchen, you’re welcome to anything except the beer, of course. Mingi insisted on ordering in, so there’s a few menus and a card you can use.”

Jungkook glanced over at it and nodded. Namjoon led him down the hall. “Bathroom, Mingi’s room, she doesn’t need a bath or anything tonight, so no need to worry about that. Just make sure she brushes her teeth. Bedtime is at seven sharp, but she’ll do all she can to stay up later with more stories.” 

Jungkook laughed a little at that, a bright thing that had Namjoon’s heart skipping a few beats. (He should really consider getting that checked out if it kept happening). 

He led Jungkook out of the room and into the living room. “So my room’s there – it’s pretty much the only place off limits for Min when I’m not at home, my work stuff is breakable, so I ask that you keep the door shut.”

Jungkook nodded. He glanced around the living room and smiled when his eyes landed on Mingi, sprawled out on the floor. She was holding a bright pink and yellow Pegasus stuffed animal, making quiet airplane noises as she moved it back and forth through the air.

Jungkook went over. He set his backpack down and laid on his back, watching her. 

“Is that the noises she makes?” He asked.

“It’s a boy. His name is Min Yoongi, like my Uncle Yoongi.” 

“Ohh,” Jungkook nodded, “I’m sure Yoongi would appreciate that.”

“You know my Uncle?”

Jungkook nodded. “I go to school with his…” Jungkook drifted off, looking to Namjoon. 

“With Uncle Hobi,” Namjoon filled in. Jungkook seemed to relax visibly and smiled. 

“Yeah, he teaches me dance.”

Mingi gasped. “You dance? Can you show me dances? I wanna dance.” She pouted. “But Daddy wants me to be older.”

Jungkook laughed a little. “Well when you’re older he might be able to put you into a class. We can dance tonight if you want. Do you know good music?”

“Uh-huh! I love Crayon Pop.”

“Wah, Crayon Pop, they’re awesome!” Jungkook cried. Mingi sat up. 

“You like them?” She clapped excitedly. “Daddy! He likes Crayon Pop!”

Namjoon smiled helplessly. “What luck! You two can listen to them tonight.”

Jungkook sat up and then rose, brushing his jeans off. “Any limits on screens or anything?”

“Normally, yes, but not tonight,” Namjoon said. “Figured, special occasion. Just try to make sure she only watches… You know, child friendly stuff.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on it,” Jungkook assured him. 

“I should be home no later than ten or eleven. Honestly, probably not even that long.”

Jungkook shook his head. “Hobi-hyung told me a little. You’ve not been out in a while. Take your time. We’ll be okay here.”

Namjoon smiled sheepishly. “How pathetic, huh?” He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious. “You’re twenty-one, right?”

Jungkook nodded. 

“Ridiculous. We’re only three years apart. And I’m pretty much an old miser.”

“You are far too handsome to be an old miser,” Jungkook said, grinning brightly. Namjoon’s heart did that dangerous stutter step once more.

“I—Uh—Oh.” Namjoon cleared his throat. He hurried over to a desk and scrawled on a notepad. “My number is here. Feel free to call or text if you need anything, I’ll answer.”

“Of course. When do you go?”

Namjoon glanced at his phone. “I should head off now… I don’t wanna get caught in traffic.”

Jungkook nodded. He shrugged off his jacket and laid it over the arm of the couch. Namjoon’s breathing, once again, cut off at the sight of the muscles in his forearms. He looked strong… And fit… 

Jungkook cleared his throat, and Namjoon looked up, his eyes widening at being caught staring. He turned quickly and scooped Mingi up. “Daddy’s gonna go now, okay?”

“Can we really order takeout?”

Namjoon nodded. “Yep, just let Jungkook know when you’re hungry.” She wiggled a little in Namjoon’s arms to look at Jungkook.

“I’m hungry!”

Jungkook grinned. “As soon as your Daddy leaves we’ll order. Maybe you could talk me into dessert.” He winked in mock sneakiness, and Mingi’s eyes widened. She giggled behind her hands and did her best to wink back, blinking both eyes instead. 

Namjoon’s heart squeezed. He was great with her. He kissed Mingi’s cheek and set her down. “Behave for Jungkook, okay?”

“I promise!” 

Namjoon pulled on his jacket and hunted for his wallet. “Like I said, call if you need anything,” he said.

Jungkook rushed forward, grabbing it from a nearby table and passing it to Namjoon. “You look great. She’s gonna be blown away tonight,” Jungkook said, straightening the collar of Namjoon’s coat.

“Thank you. See you later.” He waved to Mingi as he tugged on his shoes. He took a moment to glance back before hurrying out, knowing that if he didn’t leave that moment, he wouldn’t go at all.

The thing about blind dates was that they always had the chance of failure. About a hundred things could potentially go wrong. The most glaring issue, of course, is simple lack of compatibility. Which, unfortunately for Namjoon, was becoming the apparent issue with this one. 

Bora was a lovely woman, she honestly was. And Namjoon understood right away why Yoongi thought they’d work well together. Bora was as smart as a whip, and devastatingly funny. She was beautiful as well, and clearly had a good head on her shoulders. But something was off. Namjoon couldn’t put his finger on it. Their personalities worked, and he was sure they’d be great friends, but there was simply no spark there. More than once he found his mind wandering as she spoke, and he caught her wandering just as frequently. He was grateful when his phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number.

“Oh, excuse me. This is likely my sitter. I need to use the restroom anyway.” he said. Once she nodded, looking just as grateful as he did for the break, Namjoon rose and headed toward the bathroom. Near to it, he tapped open his phone and clicked the text. 

‘Miss Mingi insisted that I send you and Hobi-hyung this for your formal critique, Mr.Kim.’ Attached was a video. Namjoon’s brows furrowed as he pressed play. It was filmed in his living room, the phone propped up on his couch, if he wasn’t mistaken. Jungkook backed up and pressed play on the YouTube video paused on the television. Immediately a cheery song drifted from the speakers, one Namjoon knew well – Bar Bar Bar, from Crayon Pop. Mingi and Jungkook stood side by side, facing the camera. He looked at her and counted softly. On one, they began doing the choreography to the music. Jungkook’s moves were smooth and obviously practiced. Mingi was a little less cohesive, often losing her place and looking to Jungkook for guidance. He kept an eye on her, helping her catch up by exaggerating the moves when she’d get lost. Mingi’s laughter covered the sound of the music as she caught on, bouncing to the bright beat. Jungkook was grinning broadly, visible even from the distance of the camera.

When the video ended, Namjoon blinked, surprised to find his eyes had watered. He wasn’t an extremely emotional man – even with his daughter… But there was something about it. His heart clenched when he scrolled back in the video. He paused it at a perfect moment. Mingi was looking up at Jungkook, her eyes wide and adoring. Jungkook was looking down, his expression filled with an equal amount of adoration. 

Namjoon blinked quickly to clear his vision, sniffing. He tapped out a response.

‘100 out of 100 for Miss Mingi. 90 out of 100 for Mr. Jeon – your form was off for 0.005 seconds ;)’ 

Namjoon slipped into the bathroom, taking a moment to collect himself before heading back out to the table with Bora. 

On the way his phone buzzed once more, and he couldn’t resist checking it. 

‘I call a biased judging! But she’s adorable, so it can slide :D’

Namjoon chuckled and slid his phone into his pocket as he sat down.

“Everything okay?” Bora asked.

“Yeah, just my sitter checking in.”

Bora sighed, folding her hands neatly over her nearly empty plate. “Tonight has been nice, Namjoon-ssi… But I think you and I both can sense it’s not going anywhere. At least not… Where we’d like it to go.”

Namjoon’s shoulders slumped. He nodded, hanging his head. “I’m sorry. I feel bad, I wanted to make it work.”

Bora reached over, setting her hand over his. “It’s not your fault, or mine. Sometimes these things just don’t work. You are a lovely man, and your daughter sounds like an angel. Someone will be very lucky to finally call you theirs.”

“You too, Bora.” Namjoon squeezed her hand gently. “Yoongi was right, you are amazing. I would like to be friends, if you want.”

She beamed. “I’d enjoy that. So see, the night was not lost. We’ve made new friends.”

Namjoon nodded, smiling softly. “You are right.” He reached up, calling for the check. “Do you have a way home? We can share a car.”

“No, I have my roommate coming to pick me up in a while. I had a feeling we may end things early.”

“Understandable.”

“Do you want a ride?”

“No, I’ll take a car. I need to stop and get cash for Jungkook anyways.”

Namjoon took the bill gratefully and handed over his card to the server. 

When it was returned, Namjoon rose, helping Bora into her jacket and standing out with her until her friend came. She kissed his cheek. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me.” He smiled softly and waved, watching as the car drove off. He called a car for himself, leaning against a nearby light pole. As he waited, he found himself watching the video Jungkook had sent a few more times, his heart seeming to clench uncomfortably each time. 

The man was unbearably beautiful. And so good with Mingi, Namjoon had never seen someone so naturally good with children. And Mingi’s adoration was clear – she was quite fond of Jungkook already. He would need to have Jungkook over more often. Not even as a sitter, perhaps for dinner one night. He wanted to get to know the boy more himself, if he was being honest. 

Namjoon let his mind wander, and it drifted almost naturally to Jungkook. His body – his smile. 

He wondered what the boy’s story was, where he was from, why he wanted to dance. What he did for fun… If he had a partner… Namjoon knew it was a dangerous line of thinking, but he couldn’t help it. He climbed into the car once it arrived, gazing out the window as they wove through the traffic toward his part of the city. 

The house was quiet when Namjoon entered, and only the hallway light was on. He scowled, looking around. The remains of dinner in the trash, a receipt on the counter… Jungkook’s bag unzipped on the couch, a few books sticking out. Namjoon resisted the urge to snoop. He walked quietly down the hall, peeking into Mingi’s room. 

She was curled up in her bed, arms wrapped in a stranglehold around her little Pegasus as she slept. Jungkook was also in her room. He was sprawled out on the floor, using one of Mingi’s stuffed puppies as a pillow. A textbook and notebook were open to his right, a pencil rolled a few feet away. Chemistry, if Namjoon’s eyes served him correctly. One of Mingi’s storybooks was open to Jungkook’s left. His eyes were shut, plush lips parted as he snored softly.

Namjoon snuck in as quietly as he could, picking up the pencil and carefully shutting the text book. He scooped it up before reaching out and shaking Jungkook lightly. 

Jungkook snorted and shifted, blinking tiredly. He looked up and his eyes widened. He scrambled to his feet, bowing low.

“Sorry—” He whispered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Namjoon responded in a quiet voice He beckoned Jungkook out of the room and shut Mingi’s door. 

“What time did she go down?” Namjoon asked, handing Jungkook’s school supplies back to him as they walked back into the living room.

“A little before I sent you that video. We were busy so I didn’t have a chance to send it before.”

Namjoon nodded. He flipped on the living room light and leaned on the wall, watching Jungkook pack up his backpack.

“You are great with her. Do you have siblings?”

“An older brother, none younger. I’ve just always really liked kids. I help out at the local dance studio when I can, working with five to seven year olds.”

“The one a few blocks away from the college?”

Jungkook nodded. “That’s the one Hoseok told me to enroll Mingi in.”

“Honestly, if I’m not speaking out of turn, the girl has a lot of natural talent. You’d do well to let her nurture it.”

“I’ve thought of it. I’m just…” Namjoon chuckled, “Over protective.”

Jungkook nodded, He sat down on the couch. “Can I ask a personal question?”

“Sure.” Namjoon sat down with him.

“Hobi-hyung told me you were young, and a single father. But you aren’t much older than me. Mingi is school age. What… Happened?”

Namjoon smiled. “When I was a sophomore in college, I hooked up with a kind freshman. She was pre-law, on a scholarship, had a bright future. I was a jackass rich kid who thought I owned the world. We had sex, and the condom broke.” He shrugged. “I knew it was my responsibility too. Having a baby and raising it would have ruined her life. She didn’t want that. So I took responsibility. I offered to help her through the pregnancy, and then when the child was born I’d take full custody.”

“So she’s not in the picture at all?”

“We’re still friends, and she does know Mingi. But she isn’t a mother. Some people just aren’t meant to be parents, and she is one of them, we both know it. I, on the other hand… Have always wanted to be a dad. I just got my wish a few years sooner than planned.”

“So you’re… Only what, Hobi-hyung’s age?”

Namjoon nodded. “We’re the same year, yeah. A few years older than you.”

“You’re so mature and put together.” Jungkook looked around. “I’d kill to be this set up when I’m in my early twenties.”

“It can happen. Just takes dedication.”

“So how did your date go?” Jungkook suddenly asked. He stretched out and lifted his arms, baring his tight stomach for a moment. Not that Namjoon was looking…

“Wh—” Namjoon looked back up to Jungkook’s face. “Oh, uh, yeah, it didn’t go well. She was nice, but…”

“Not compatible.”

“Right.”

Jungkook nodded. “That’s too bad,” he said softly, looking down at his lap.

“Why?” “Well… If it didn’t work out, there’s no more need for a babysitter. I was kinda hoping to come over more to watch Mingi and see… You.”

Jungkook met Namjoon’s gaze, smiling a little. “She must have been blind. You’re a stunning man.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Thank you for the praise, Jungkook. But it was just our personalities, really.”

“Well still. She’s missing out.”

“Just because I don’t have another date with her doesn’t mean I won’t need a sitter. Especially one as good with Mingi and as kind… Maybe I’ll find more time to go out.”

“Or you could stay in,” Jungkook offered. “And just have me over… To hang out.”

Namjoon remained silent. He met Jungkook’s gaze, a little surprised to see his expression had darkened to something far more… Primal. Namjoon’s stomach knotted. 

“Jungkook—"

“I like you. I did the second you opened that door. You’re handsome and mature and a good parent. You seem like the kind of man that knows what he wants… And goes and gets it.”

The spit in Namjoon’s mouth seemed to dry up all at once. “I—I suppose that’s been said.”

“So why are you hesitating?”

Namjoon tilted his head a little, unsure what Jungkook was implying.

“It’s okay, you know,” Jungkook said softly.

“What is?”

 Jungkook smirked. He leaned a little closer to Namjoon. “That you wanna fuck the babysitter.”

Namjoon yelped, jumping to his feet, his eyes widening. “What?!”

Jungkook covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle his laughter to no avail. He looked pointedly at Namjoon’s crotch, not moving from the couch. 

Namjoon scowled and looked down. Much to his surprise, he realized his slacks, which fit far too tightly anyways, were beginning to tent with the half-erection he’d gotten. Half hard just from sitting next to a handsome man, what was he, a teenager? Namjoon  covered his crotch quickly. “That’s not— I mean, I’m not a pervert, I—“

“You what?” Jungkook pressed. “Weren’t picturing me naked?” 

Namjoon’s silence seemed to give Jungkook the answer he needed. He rose, stepping toward Namjoon. “It’s a normal fantasy, I suppose. A single parent... A young, handsome man. A big empty bed...” He pushed Namjoon’s hands away from his crotch and cupped the bulge, a smirk on his pretty mouth. 

Namjoon’s eyes rolled back. He could feel his cock hardening further, and Jungkook gave a tentative stroke, sending sparks up his spine.

“It’s big,” he cooed. “I’ll say it again, Mr.Kim...” He moved closer, pressing his lips against Namjoon’s neck before moving to his ear. “Do you wanna fuck your babysitter?”

Namjoon gave a strained groan before nodding quickly. 

“I want you too, sir,” Jungkook responded. Namjoon’s cock twitched in Jungkook’s hand. The way he loved being called that. 

“I don’t get many men to fuck me good and hard... They make me top, usually. Do you want to fuck my ass? Bend me over and make sure I remember you tomorrow?”

“Jungkook—“

“Take me to bed, Mr. Kim.”

“Call me Namjoon, please—“

“I will... But wouldn’t you prefer sir?” 

Namjoon moaned brokenly. He grabbed Jungkook’s hair and yanked his head back, pressing their lips together hard. Jungkook sighed contentedly against Namjoon’s mouth. He twisted his hips forward, and Namjoon could feel Jungkook’s cock growing hard in his jeans. Namjoon broke the kiss quickly and dragged him toward the bedroom, kicking the door shut before shoving him onto his back onto the bed. 

Jungkook giggled, biting his bottom lip. He looked up at Namjoon, reaching down to undo his jeans. Namjoon crawled over him, catching his mouth in another kiss. He pushed Jungkook’s hands out of the way and undid the zipper himself, reaching in to stroke Jungkook’s cock through his boxers. 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Jungkook muttered against his mouth.

“Do you want it?” Namjoon worried, pressing kisses over his cheek and jaw.

“I do. I wanted to kiss you from the moment I met you,” Jungkook admitted. He slid his hands over Namjoon’s shoulders and then around, undoing the buttons on his shirt. “You looked so nice dressed up. You smelled so good. I was a bit jealous.”

Namjoon lifted his head, meeting Jungkook’s gaze. “Jealous?”

“Mhm… That I was the babysitter… And you were going out with someone else.” He pushed his shirt open and leaned up, kissing Namjoon’s bare chest. He bit down lightly on Namjoon’s nipple. The surprise pleasure-pain of it twisted Namjoon’s stomach into little knots, his balls drawing up as his cock twitched. 

Jungkook laid back and bucked his hips, his eyelids fluttering shut when his bulge rubbed over Namjoon’s thigh. 

“Get these clothes off before I rip them off,” Namjoon huffed. He rose and stripped out of his own clothing quickly, his hands shaking as he fought with his belt. Jungkook stripped far more slowly, taking his time to peel his clothing off. Namjoon knew it was on purpose – and it was working – each inch of skin the handsome man revealed had his brain that much closer to short circuiting. 

When Jungkook was naked, he got up from the bed and then sank to his knees in front of Namjoon, reaching up to pull his boxers down. Namjoon’s vision blurred a little as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Jungkook’s breath was hot against the sensitive skin of his shaft. He grinned up at him. 

“Want me to suck your cock, sir?” He purred. Namjoon may have forgotten how to swallow.

His throat clicked and he nodded, not trusting his voice. 

Jungkook laughed a little. He stroked Namjoon gently a few times before wrapping his lips around his tip. His mouth was warm and soft. It sent all sorts of tingles through Namjoon’s body. 

“Oh, Jungkook…” He sighed softly, letting his hand rest lightly on Jungkook’s head. His hair was silky smooth, and Namjoon couldn’t resist running his fingers through it. Jungkook rolled his eyes up, meeting Namjoon’s gaze as he moved forward, taking more of his cock into his mouth. He sucked almost cautiously, huffing a quiet laughing sound through his nose when Namjoon shivered. Another suck, a little harder, and his tongue slid flatly over the underside of the tip. 

“Your mouth,” Namjoon groaned, reaching back to steady himself with the nightstand. 

Jungkook pulled off with a pop. 

“Maybe you should sit.”

“Maybe I should just fuck you,” Namjoon suggested instead, pulling Jungkook up and kissing him deeply. He reached around, squeezing his ass before spreading it, and letting his finger slide over Jungkook’s tight hole.

Jungkook giggled against his mouth, breaking the kiss and blinking at him with almost an innocence. 

“You want to fuck me bad, huh?” He purred, sliding his hands over Namjoon’s chest. Namjoon nodded. Jungkook crawled onto the bed. “Do you have lube? I can give you a show...” He spread his legs open and slid his hands down his inner thighs.

“You know... Next time.” 

Namjoon grabbed Jungkook’s ankles and twisted his legs over one another. Jungkook got the picture and flipped onto his belly. Namjoon lifted his hips as he crawled onto the bed, spreading his ass open.

Jungkook was shaved smooth and clean around his hole, the skin looking delectably soft.

Namjoon thumbed his hole. “God, you’re gonna be so tight on my dick...”

“I like it tight,” Jungkook panted against the pillow. “I like the stretch.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Namjoon held his ass open and spat. He leaned down, catching the spit with his tongue and lapping wetly over Jungkook’s hole. He tasted like fresh soap and something distinctly him. Namjoon could get addicted. 

He immediately began to work his tongue against the tight rim, pausing to lick wet stripes over his ass and balls, massaging his rim with his fingers until it finally began to relax. He picked up a rhythm and pattern with his tongue and fingers, starting to slip more easily into Jungkook’s hole. Namjoon pulled back, scissoring his fingers. Jungkook was gripping the pillow moaning and gasping into it. His hips were raised just enough for the tip of his cock to bump the bed when he moved. A dark streak of precome told Namjoon his sweet new bed mate was trying desperately to hump the bed. 

Endearing, really. Namjoon lifted Jungkook’s hips higher, removing the stimulation against his ruddy, hard cock tip. 

Jungkook whimpered, looking back. His cheeks were pink, sweat dotting his forehead and plastering a few strands of hair down.

“Please—“ 

Namjoon reached between his legs, giving his cock a few firm tugs. As he did, he drove his tongue back up Jungkook’s ass, smirking as the inner muscle reluctantly gave way.

Jungkook grunted into the pillow, jerking forward. 

“Please!” He sobbed, his voice muffled. Perfect.

Namjoon rose and laid over Jungkook, letting his cock nestle between Jungkook’s perky ass cheeks. He kissed over his shoulder as he reached out for the lube, tucked into his top drawer.

“I bet I could make you squirt from eating you out,” he whispered. Maybe I should have you ride my face. Come all over yourself with just my tongue up your tight little ass.”

Jungkook sobbed brokenly.

“No, please—“ He gasped. “Need your cock, sir, please.”

“I know you do, Jungkookie. Just relax. I’ll give it to you.”

Namjoon kissed his cheek and rose back on his knees. He added lube to Jungkook’s hole, and then his own cock. He lined his tip up, taking a moment to appreciate the scene. His babysitter - a young man he’d just met... So fucking handsome. So fucking eager to take his dick. He was definitely making the most of this.

Jungkook screamed into the pillow when Namjoon slid his cock in, stretching him open. He was impossibly tight, even with preparation. Jungkook reached back, holding his ass open. Namjoon took advantage, working more of his cock in. He could see the stretch of Jungkook’s rim, and the way his fingers bit into his plump ass cheeks. His cock was girthy all the way down as he pushed it into Jungkook, rock solid and throbbing against Jungkook’s sensitive rim. 

“That’s it,” Jungkook gasped, turning his head so he could be heard. “Fuck my ass, sir. Pound the babysitter’s tight little hole—“ He cried out when Namjoon slammed in, burying himself to the hilt. He took a moment to let Jungkook relax around him - or maybe a moment to relax his own body, Namjoon wasn’t sure, before beginning to fuck into him. 

Jungkook rose to his knees, wrapping his arms back around Namjoon’s shoulders as he moaned. His hard cock bounced with each thrust, dribbling precome onto the sheets.

“Fuck me,” he whined softly in Namjoon’s ear. “Wreck my tight little hole. I know you need it, you’re so hard in me. Oh—“ He let his head fall back when Namjoon’s teeth found purchase on his shoulder, a firm bite.

“Gonna mark me up?” He purred into Namjoon’s ear. “I came here for a simple job, and you’re violating my body in every way.”

Namjoon’s cock throbbed in his ass, and Jungkook smirked against his jaw. “You like that. You gonna come in me too? Fill me up? I bet there’s a lot - You’re so pent up, sir.” 

Jungkook moaned in his ear. Namjoon’s speed increased. “Yes—“ he whined. “Fuck me and fill me up, send me home all full of you, please—“ he sobbed brokenly. Namjoon pulled out suddenly, and Jungkook’s hole gaped, flexing around nothing. 

He cried out when Namjoon flipped him onto his back. Their gazes met for a moment and Namjoon smirked. He put Jungkook’s legs over his shoulders and lifted his hips, pulling his ass open.

Namjoon spat directly onto the tiny gape, watching as it dribbled into Jungkook’s ass. Jungkook whined softly. “Please—“

Namjoon obliged, lining his cock up and pushing back in. He laid over Jungkook, folding him up as he began to fuck him once more.

The new angle felt more intense, and the eye contact Namjoon now held seemed so much more intimate. Jungkook’s cheeks were a delightful pink, and growing redder. He moaned sweetly, reaching up to hold onto Namjoon’s shoulders.

“So quiet now,” Namjoon teased, his strokes long and deep, making Jungkook’s toes curl against his thighs as his cock slid over his prostate again and again. “Where’s that dirty mouth?”

“D— Do you like it when I talk dirty?” Jungkook panted. 

Namjoon leaned down, kissing over his ear. “You were driving me wild, Jungkook,” he growled. “Do you still want my load, baby? Want me to send you home with an ass full of my come?” 

Jungkook moaned, his fingers biting into Namjoon’s shoulders. 

“Yes! Yes, please, sir— Give it to me—“ Jungkook’s eyes rolled back. “I’m so close—“

“Come then. Come from me wrecking your pretty little hole,” Namjoon demanded. He shifted, picking up speed and aggression with each thrust. 

Jungkook clawed streaks down Namjoon’s back, slamming his head back into the pillow. The pleasure pain of it was nearly too much, but Namjoon struggled to hold on. Jungkook’s cock began to spurt onto his stomach, ass clenching around Namjoon’s cock as he came, choking out Namjoon’s name.

“That’s it.” Namjoon’s voice was smoky and thick, doing his best to drag Jungkook’s orgasm out. “Squeeze my cock, baby. Lemme know how good you’re squirting for me.” He groaned softly. “Such a tight little butt— Fuck— I’m not pulling out—“ he warned.

“Don’t!” Jungkook pleaded. He reached down, grabbing Namjoon’s hips. “Come deep— Oh fuck please, come up my ass, Namjoon, please— Deeper— Oh God!” 

Namjoon swore softly. He buried himself to the hilt, and began to thrust shallowly as his body lit up, sparks of pleasure igniting his nerves. His cock began to jerk as he fucked into Jungkook’s relaxing body. Each twitch was hard and rhythmic as he came, spilling deep inside Jungkook. Jungkook began to clench and relax his rim, trying to milk as much from Namjoon’s cock as he could, even as Namjoon began to soften inside him.

Jungkook let his legs fall open, reaching up to wipe sweat from his brow. He smiled sleepily. “Wow.”

“Wow is right,” Namjoon mumbled. He pulled out slowly, flopping onto the bed beside Jungkook. “You okay?”

“Mhm… Relaxed.” 

Namjoon grabbed a tissue, carefully wiping Jungkook’s stomach, and then sitting up to clean the lube and mess left behind from their sex. 

Jungkook smiled and nodded his thanks before sighing far more heavily. He opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling. 

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon worried, lying next to him once more.

“I should go home.”

“Oh…” Namjoon hesitated. “Or, I mean… It’s late. You could just stay the night.”

Jungkook looked over, his brows furrowed and mouth in a soft pout. “You… Would want me to?”

“Well, I’m not kicking you out after we just made love. If you don’t wanna go…”

“What about Mingi?”

“Well, if she asks, where else would I have you sleep? You’re too big for the couch comfortably. And you couldn’t very well sleep in her room. And I wouldn’t want you driving late at night…”

Jungkook smiled softly. 

“Aw, Mr. Kim… Sounds like you’re almost fond of me. This wasn’t just sex?”

Namjoon’s smile wavered. Jungkook – though teasing – did bring up a good point. Jungkook seemed to notice his shift, because he moved just enough to kiss Namjoon hard. 

“If it was, I’m okay with that. But if it wasn’t… I think I’d be okay with that too,” he said softly. Instead of letting Namjoon answer, he kissed him once more, cupping his cheek.

Namjoon reached up, holding his wrist. He pulled away, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I didn’t give much thought about it, honestly. You are so young, have a whole bright future. I’m already established… I have a kid. I’m not an easy person to have a relationship with, especially not someone in your shoes.”

“Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.” Jungkook laid back down. “But let’s not talk about it tonight. We had amazing sex. I’m all loose and relaxed, and I am tired. Why don’t we get some sleep, and we can talk about it tomorrow, when we’re both fully rested and more aware.”

Namjoon nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.” He kicked the blankets down and pulled them over them. Jungkook snuggled up to him, resting his head on his shoulder and slinging one arm across Namjoon’s middle. His body was warm and soft. It was so… Comforting, if Namjoon was being honest. He could get quite used to something like this, he thought as he wiggled a little closer to Jungkook. If Jungkook did want to date him… He could definitely get used to this.

Namjoon could faintly hear the television. It sounded like a children’s program. Mingi was probably up. He snuggled deeper under his blankets, Jungkook’s warm body still wrapped around him. The morning sunlight was streaming through his window, lightening his eyelids. Heaving a weak sigh, he opened his eyes, taking a moment to adjust to the light before looking over at Jungkook. He was just as beautiful in the daylight. His hair mussed from the pillow, soft lips parted as he slept, chest rising slow and steady. Namjoon’s heart clenched uncomfortably. He wanted Jungkook. As far more than a babysitter, or fuckbuddy, or friend. He truly wanted him. They’d need to talk today.

Namjoon frowned at the door, hearing what sounded like Mingi having a conversation with someone. He wasn’t expecting anyone today… And Mingi knew not to open the door for strangers. Before Namjoon could stand, his bedroom door creaked open. 

Namjoon sat up a little, expecting his daughter. Instead, Yoongi stood in the doorway, a cup holder of coffee gripped in his hands. Hoseok stood behind him, a cardboard box. Namjoon’s eyes widened. He saw Yoongi and Hoseok both move their gaze from him, to Jungkook, and back to him. 

“What the fuck,” Hoseok strained. 

Jungkook sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. “What’s – Oh…” He smiled sheepishly when he realized the company in the bedroom. “Morning, Hyung...”

Namjoon cleared his throat. “What brings you here this morning?” 

“Bora...” Yoongi drifted off. “She told me you two didn’t work out. We came to... Can we speak to you outside for a second, Namjoon?” 

It was Namjoon’s turn to smile sheepishly. “Sure. Wait for me? We need, ah...” he motioned to their pants and shirts strewn on the floor.

Hoseok and Yoongi backed out, shutting the door. 

Jungkook grimaced. “I feel like I’m about to get scolded by a parent.”

“Same,” Namjoon admitted. He rose, pulling on a pair of sweats and a shirt. “Do you wanna wear yesterday’s clothes? Something of mine might fit you...”

“I should wear yesterday’s.”

Namjoon nodded. He watched Jungkook rise, unable to hide the small smile that curved his mouth up. 

“You’re so handsome.” 

Jungkook grinned brightly, pulling on his clothes. “You’re just saying that.”

“Am not. Really, Jungkook... I like you.”

“I like you too, Namjoon.” 

“We should talk. About that.” 

Jungkook nodded. “I agree. After we talk to them,” he chuckled a little. He approached Namjoon, touching his upper arm. “Can I kiss you?”

“I’d like that.” 

Jungkook closed the space between their mouths, giving Namjoon a chaste peck on the mouth. He pulled back, smiling. 

Namjoon opened the door. Hoseok and Yoongi both rose from the couch. 

“Jungkook, would you mind Mingi?” Hoseok asked. Jungkook nodded. He sat next to her, immediately drawing her bubbly attention. 

Yoongi motioned with his head, and Namjoon followed the couple outside.

“What the fuck, Namjoon,” Hoseok said as soon as the door was shut. 

“Why are you swearing at me?”

“I sent you a babysitter, not a fucking hooker.”

“Hey!” Namjoon snapped. “It wasn’t like that.”

“What about the date, Namjoon?”

Yoongi asked. “Why didn’t Bora work out? It wasn’t him...”

“No!” Namjoon shook his head. “Not at all. She’s great. I really enjoyed her company. But she’s not... For me. It has nothing to do with Jungkook.” 

“I find that hard to believe since he was naked in your damn bed this morning,” Hoseok argued, crossing his arms. 

“He’s not a child, Hobi,” Namjoon argued. “You act like I forced him.”

“You were his employer last night, Namjoon,” Yoongi said.

“He made the first move! I reciprocated! I like him, hyung.”

“He’s one of my best students.”

“And if he were to date another student? Would you throw a fit?” Namjoon sighed, letting his arms fall. “I really do like him. The sex was great but... He is so good with Mingi. She adores him. And I find him so easy to talk to. I want to try with him.”

“Hobi...” Yoongi said softly. He glanced over at Hoseok. 

“He made the first move?” Hoseok clarified. Namjoon nodded, smiling a little.

“He’s quite brazen. I couldn’t say no.” 

“Little brat’s gonna be cleaning the dance studio for a week,” Hoseok muttered without much venom. 

Namjoon grinned at that. “Don’t be too hard on him; he’ll probably be sore for a few days.” 

Hoseok blinked, then blinked again, before realization dawned on him. He made a noise that was a cross between a groan and a scream, and gave a dramatic full body shudder. 

“That is my student, Kim Namjoon.”

“And hopefully my boyfriend... if I play my cards right.” 

“I do hope it works out,” Yoongi said. “For what it’s worth. You two did look pretty cute together.” 

“You should see him with Mingi, hyung. They’re already two peas in a pod.”

“I saw the video he sent Hoseok. They do seem to get along great.”

Namjoon’s smile grew almost painfully wide. “That made my whole night.”

“Come on, we should get in. We got you coffee, but didn’t expect a fourth...”

“I’m sure we’ll make due.” 

Namjoon entered, smiling softly. Jungkook was folded up on the floor, coloring with Mingi in one of her books. She was babbling on about something, and Jungkook continued to nod and respond appropriately.

“Mingi, come get food,” Yoongi called.

She bounced up, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and tugging him toward the kitchen. Jungkook let himself be pulled, backtracking to Namjoon as Yoongi served Mingi. 

“Get in too much trouble?” He worried.

“No. But even if I had... It’d be worth it,” Namjoon confessed. He reached up, brushing a lock of hair from Jungkook’s forehead. “What’re you doing tonight?” 

“Just studying.” 

“Have enough free time to slip in a dinner date?”

Jungkook grinned. He stepped a little closer to Namjoon, setting his hands on his hips. “I think I could pull myself away for a few hours.” He pressed a kiss to Namjoon’s mouth. Namjoon grinned against his mouth, chuckling a little. He pulled back still smiling.

“You know what this means?” He walked to the table, grabbing the coffee Yoongi held out for him. 

“What?” Jungkook asked. 

“I’ll need to find a new babysitter.”

#thebtswritersclub #namkook #namjoon x jungkook #jungkook x namjoon #fluff #smut #jungkook fanfic #namjoon fanfic #bts jungkook fanfiction #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #namjoon smut #kim namjoon smut #jungkook x rm #rm x jungkook #mywriting #dilf namjoon

[someonedm]

It was an inconvenience, really. Jane didn't want to be here, and neither did I. She had all her friends to be with, chatting and quacking about things I had nothing to do with. And I had... my alone time, I guess. Sweet, quiet, alone time.

But things didn't go out as planned. Jane got suspended, for being a bitch, and when school said she couldn't go to the field trip, she called her rich parents who got it all sorted out. But room arrangements were already made, which landed her right here, with me.

I suppose we both made the best out of it. She spent her time with her girls, while I had a blast going through social media. But, when bedtime finally arrived, we couldn't avoid it. We have to stay together in the same room.

She steps out of the shower, her wet hair dripping drops of water onto the floor. She turns to me with annoyance. "What are you looking at?"

I hadn't noticed I was staring at her until her remark, and it caught me off by surprise. "Oh. I just-yeah." I got in the shower. "Good thing you are finally washing, don't know if I could sleep with you stinking out the room." She said it so incidentally, not caring about if it'd hurt me or not. The kind of effort someone puts in a "congrats" message in a group chat.

Coming out of the shower, I find her still standing there, looking at her own reflection in the mirror. Seeing me, she swiftly turned to her toothbrush, trying to hide the self-absorbance this entails.

Her eyes, reflecting from the mirror, look tired. Her skin is dotted with little imperfections. Her mouth, which I was so used to see lie on a self-assured smirk, was curved down. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and we could both see her.

Perhaps she was thinking of another insult, perhaps she didn't mind my blank stare, but I noticed her relentlessness as she offered me a moisturizing cream. "You want some?"

"no, thanks."

She went back to her bed silently. She was no longer wearing her popular girl persona. We were both tired and just wanted to sleep.

After finishing my prep up, I too went back to my bed. I stretched my arm into my bag, fishing out a flask. I waved the flask in front of jane. "You want some?"

"Where'd you got this?" She laughed, reaching out her hand to take the flask.

"Stole it from my mom's cabin."

She gave it to me back. "Won't she be pissed at you?"

I gulped some of the scotch. "No way. She must've noticed it was gone as soon as I left. If she cared for me I would have heard from her way too long ago."

"Aaah." She yelped. "Sorry for asking".

"First time?" I asked with a full grin, unable to hide my satisfaction with the situation.

"You think?"

"You goody two shoes got yourself detained recently, so I don't know what to think."

"Hell nah. The first time was eighth grade. My ex's brother organized a party and snuck in booze. They said they would have got me with them, cause I looked a lot older than I was. I think that that sentence was why I took that first glass." She sighed, and I knew she has something weighing on her, but she stopped herself from speaking. "What about you?"

"My mom thinks that my first time was when she gave me, after he- after he- uhhh... yeah. It was a bad night for her, and she couldn't give any shit. I had to act like it was all new to me, as if I hadn't had one of those after other nights. I am not a great actress, but I did have a drunk and tired audience." I looked up to her, and noticed she too had a hard time looking in my eyes. "Forget about me. What about your party? Your ex??" I raised my eyebrows repeatedly, and it got a chuckle out of her.

"I'd rather not talk about him." She smiled, though it was a sad smile. "But since we are discussing firsts... well, me and Tyler. Homecoming party."

"Tyler, huh? never thought he was your type!"

"What do you think my type is?" she asked, intrigued by my statement.

"I thought you liked your boys strong and sassy. The kind of jock smart enough so you won't have to actually tutor him during your 'study sessions'. Not some theater student exchange kid!"

I laughed, but she didn't seem to like it. "Do you really think of me like that? That I'm that basic?"

I looked her in the eyes. Even after knowing how she looked without her makeup, she seemed so tired. The kind of tired that stems from frustration, rather than lack of sleep. Jane cared a lot about how people think of her, even if those people were outcasts like me. "If you want me to be sincere" she nodded. "Yes."

Her soft smile faded. "I guess I should go to sleep, then."

"Wait, I am sorry. Why don't you tell me about Tyler?"

"Okay, but, I can't promise to be awake to finish."

"Consider me an elephant. I am all ears." I gestured with my hands curved, extending my ears.

"He is smart, and funny, and kind - I thought he was kind. He helped me learn for history, and we actually did study, unlike what you were guessing. He said how he missed his friends at home, and I thought it was really sweet. I felt safe with him, that he cared for me. I think he did - I wasn't just a popular girl to achieve. He made it clear, romantic gesture after romantic gesture, and when homecoming came I offered him myself. And it was all great going forward, up until Christmas break. He finally had a chance to go back home and insisted I'd stay home with my family. He ghosted me all that time, including a week after he got back. Then he confronted me. Apparently, he was having a long-distance relationship with whom I thought was his ex, and they had sex when he came back for his visit. Said he loved me but that she won't let him be with me.

So I got a little basic, and invited one of the jocks to have rebound sex in his car. While his girlfriend was over."

I chuckled. "I am sorry. What you went through is terrible. But god damn is that a good way to get back at someone, you magnificent bastard."

"I am glad I am amusing you." I couldn't decipher the look on her face, resting for a split second, before turning back to gossip. "So, who's your first?"

"I had a first- yeah uh I definitely had one."

A malicious smile sneaked onto her face. "No, you didn't."

I held the palm of my hand at the back of my head and looked down in shame. "No, I didn't."

A familiar sense of vanity came from her. "Doesn't matter. Who'd you kissed?"

I wanted to lie, but instead, I hid my face in the palms of my hands, hiding from her glare. "I uh - I hadn't kissed anyone yet."

"Well, that's such a shame! I bet many boys like you. You just don't notice them, that's all."

This comment, coming from her, caught me off by surprise. I had anticipated some sassy, if not outright a bit mean remark. "Really? You think that? Cause you kinda sound like my mom."

I guess I shook her a bit too, cause the sass was quick to come. "I'm sure of it. You know how boys are - they lust after anyone they think they have a chance with."

"Ahh, there it is. Should I take it as a compliment?" I smiled softly. "Cause I'm not hurt."

Her eyes widened for a moment. "No I- I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it like that - Ugh, nevermind." She rubbed her eyes. It was late. "If you want me to, I can help you get any boy you'd like. Who you've got your eyes on?"

I was starting to feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't tell what about this innocent question was so jarring. "I don't know. I never thought about it."

She leaned forward on her bed. "Tell me your type, then, since we already talked about mine."

"You must guess first."

She looked me deep in the eyes, assesing how I looked. She then turned her head to the flask. I imagine she was going through what I've told her, trying to make a sense of me.

"You like shy artsy boys that keep to themselves. You get tired of the enthusiazm of other people, even if it's about things you like, so it's nice having someone who's more quiet, like you. But you also want him to be more emotional than you, cause if it was left up to you, you'd be scared of the relationship falling apart. Did I get it right?"

Her description felt off. It wasn't insulting or arrogant, and I couldn't tell what exactly was incorrect, but it felt wrong.

"I... I don't know." I knew what I wanted to say, and it made me anxious. I could feel the saliva getting stuck in my throat. "I like someone who's sarcastic and witty, and doesn't open up, so when they finally talk earnestly it feels like winning a prize. Someone who cares so much about how other people see them, that they take off their hand crafted mask just for you, and seeing them that way, they are only ever more beautiful."

My gaze drifted away from her as I spoke, and I couldn't bare to see how she had reacted.

"I am tired." Her voice finally broke the silence.

"Me too. I don't want to stop talking to you."

"Me too."

The vision of that flask felt burned in my memory as I thought about reaching out and taking another sip. I couldn't sleep, and perhaps more alcohol in my blood stream meant stopping to think. I couldn't stopped thinking, and it paralized me. Images ran in my mind, thoughts and ideas being intrusive, and I had no help in silencing them.

The steady rhythm of her breath calmed me down, but as I focused on it the intrusive thoughts only grew.

"Hey." Her voice was quite, almost a whisper.

"Can't sleep?" I answered, with the same crooked tone.

"No."

Her breath is still slow and calm, but I can feel my own heart pounding faster. I wonder if she can hear it beat from beyond my skin.

"When you talked about the type of person you like.

You weren't talking about a boy, right?"

I turned my head to face the wall, watching the creaks, trying to make them absorb my thoughts and visions. I knew she would hate me for it, and the thought of being honest made breathing almost impossible.

"No."

I listened the rumble of her bed sheets, and her light steps on the floor, and my squeaking bed as she set on its other edge. Tears filled my eyes and I swallowed the saliva down my throat.

"Was it about me?"

I rose up on my end of the bed, looking at her being the most difficult thing I have ever done. I couldn't see her clearly through my tears, but I knew she was absolutely beautiful.

"Yes."

She reached out her soft hands around the back of my head, leaning closer and kissing me.

I was surprised and uncomfortable but I loved every moment her tender lips touched mine.

I parted away, breathing heavily as I only now felt relieved. I sounded like a wailing baby, and I must have looked like one when I wiped off my tears that continued to come.

She sat there, holding herself. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable... I didn't..."

I braced her as hard as I could. We kissed again, now calm between each other's arms, trading our air between our body and stopping only when we had to. We cherished each other's beauty, finding comfort in each other's eyes.

She laid her head on my lap, and I caressed her hair. "I don't want to leave you."

"Me neither." I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I want to hold you until dawn. But the bed is too small."

She woke up and went to bed, and it dawned on me how tired I am. As we both lay in our separate cushions, she lends her hand towards mine, and I hold hers.

#writing #creative writing #short story #it took me days to finish this story #love it or else #wlw #wlw story #wlw fluff #lesbian #lesbian story #lesbian fluff #sapphic #sapphic story #gay #queer

[ellewriteswrongs]

picking favorites (a @tsbandau drabble)

if y’all aren’t emotionally invested in @underdog-arts ‘s band au, idk what y’all are even doing /j

anyway, here’s a wholesome family drabble insp. by the band au and my (not-so) subtle obsession with remus and janus. also subbing to their patreon is the best $5 i’ve probably ever spent, no joke

“Honey, you can still pick up Ry, right?” Janus called down the hallway, carrying a basket of laundry on each hip before depositing them in the hallway to put away later. Remus was seated in their shared office catching up on emails as Janus began packing up leftover pasta into containers to take to their show scheduled that night. 

“I told you I got ‘em,” he agreed, banging the last clumps of his protein shake into his mouth with the heel of his hand. “I’m gonna’ jog to V’s and grab the van.”

Janus nodded to themself out of instinct before faltering, their brow furrowing. 

“Wait—Re, that’s like three miles,” they challenged, dumping the dirtied dishes into the sink. “Just take the fucking car.”

Remus’ snort laugh was audible from down the hallway. 

“They asked for the van!” Remus cackled. “And I, for one, do not disappoint. Apparently making my kid’s friends think they’re cool is worth a three-mile jog.”

Janus rolled their eyes, albeit fondly. This was, unfortunately, not news. 

Riley was having an…interesting phase. It wouldn’t be abnormal for kids their age if it weren’t for the fact that their parents were ridiculously competitive, and all of their parents’ friends were eager to get in on it. 

As soon as Remus attended career day in Riley’s first grade classroom, resulting in the entire class of six-year-olds marveling at the fact that their friend’s dad was a “rock star.”

Janus loved that conversation over dinner that night. 

They weren’t jealous. No, in fact, it was probably overdue for Riley to have a bit of a “Daddy’s kid” phase, considering how joined at the hip they were with Janus for multiple years now. But they wanted to win. 

Riley could make their own decisions about picking a favorite parent. As long as that decision was Janus. 

“You’ve gone so-oft,” they sing-songed, smirking as Remus appeared in the kitchen behind them, wrapping one hand around their hip and pressing a kiss to their temple. “Ry’s got you wrapped around their finger.”

Remus have a flash of his crooked grin. 

“Yeah, well…at least I know where they get that from.”

Janus rolled their eyes, trying to hide their reddening face. 

“Sap,” they grumbled fondly. “Hurry up and get on with your run before you’re late to pickup. And tell V I said hey.”

Remus gave an exasperated chuckle and affirmation, but pocketed his keys and wallet nonetheless. 

The jog to Virgil’s apartment wasn’t a particularly strenuous three miles, being downtown and all, and Remus was far from out of shape. Still, three miles was three miles—especially in the late afternoon sun. Needless to say, Virgil wasn’t thrilled to have a giant sweaty man on his doorstep, but he handed over the keys nonetheless. 

The van was old, still clinging to its axels from when Remus himself purchased it from an old neighbor and declared it the band’s “tour bus.” It was nice enough at the time, especially for the price he paid, but it certainly wasn’t still around for anything more than sentimental value. 

Mainly just Remus refusing to get rid of it. 

That, and the fact that, for whatever reason, Riley thought it was the coolest thing ever. 

The drive wasn’t long, only the sitting in traffic of other parents in minivans trying to get into the school parking lot. He…wasn’t a fan of that part of being a parent, that’s for sure. He could do without any other parents, thank you very much, but at least it was fun to see how obvious all of them were in their distaste of both him and Janus, compared to how much their kid absolutely adored them. 

A fact that was only proven when Remus eventually made it to the parking lot and exited his van, only to be met with ear-splitting squeal of “daddy!” and an armful of six-year-old. 

He can’t deny how, even after all these years, the title still makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like…he is a dad. That’s his kid! How fucking rad is that!

He happens to spot a few other parents, along with some of Riley’s friends that he recognizes, and he offers a quick wave with the hand that isn’t mussing up his kid’s hair. 

“You brought the van,” Riley points out with a toothy grin that Remus can’t help mirroring. He can’t help the knot in his throat when he spots the gap in their teeth from their first ever lost tooth—which only meant they were getting much too old and Remus would really appreciate it if they would slow the fuck down.

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Riley nods, bouncing on Remus’ hip just a bit out of excitement. “I gotta’ warn you though, JJ’s getting pretty jealous.”

Riley laughs before sticking out their tongue and making a fart noise in Remus’s face. 

Remus is, for the thousandth time, bewildered at how Riley couldn’t possibly be more like Janus if they tried. And mostly smitten. He has the coolest kid on Earth, after all. 

“They can suck my butt!” Riley squeals and Jesus Christ, Remus is going to have a heart attack right there in the parking lot. He’s gonna’ have to grill Jan again to make sure those two aren’t secretly biologically related. 

“Hey, your words not mine, squirt,” he smirks, opening the van door and strapping them into the car seat. “And your early bedtime if you let JJ hear any of that.”

He finishes with a pinch on their nose before closing the van door and getting back in the driver’s seat. 

Riley, as soon as the radio turn on, starts protesting very aggressively to listen to “your songs, daddy! Play your songs!” 

Thankfully, he has a CD burned with some of their…cleaner songs for that exact purpose. 

Riley, for lack of a better word, was ‘singing’ along at a volume that Remus would’ve otherwise found hilarious and impressive if it wasn’t right in his ear. Still, there was a certain fondness that came with watching his kid’s excitement over his work—something that, as usual, was paired with thrashing within the confines of a car seat and headbanging their little heart out. 

Along the drive Remus made every attempt to stop the barrage of the screamo singer in the making, but all were ultimately unsuccessful. At least…until he pointed out one particular building out of a strip mall assortment. 

“Hey, you see that store right there? The one with the red sign?” He spoke up, catching Riley’s eager attention in an instant. They placed both hands on the van window to look out. 

“What is it?” They asked, squinting to try and read what was on the sign. 

“You know the snake on my leg?” Riley nodded, quieting down. “That’s where JJ took me to get it.”

They paused, seemingly putting some pieces together in their head.

“How come you only have one?” They asked, still kicking their legs against their seat. “JJ has lots, how come you don’t have lots too?”

Remus chuckled, continuing along the road as the light turned green. 

“‘Cause I don’t need another one. They’re very expensive, you know.”

“Is it ‘cause you’re a wimp?” 

Remus choked on his own spit. 

“N-no,” he choked out, laughing. “No I’m not, I just think it looks better this way.”

He didn’t bother looking into the backseat to see what Riley thought of that answer, but if the return to karaoke that followed was any indication, they were not impressed. Still, he’d probably take the teasing over the screaming, but kids are kids. 

Even as they pulled into their driveway, Remus had to strategically dodge Riley’s flailing limbs in order to un-fasten the seatbelts on their car seat and actually get them in the house. Apparently the music was not as vital to the ‘sing-along’ as he’d hoped it was when he turned the car off. 

“Alright, alright, calm those legs down before you knock my teeth out, will ya’?” Remus teased, placing Riley on his shoulders where they instantly took fistfuls of his hair to hold on. Riley toned down the velocity, but otherwise did not stop. “Careful, squirt, if you wanna’ kick so bad, I’m signing you up to play soccer.”

Riley stopped almost instantaneously, gripping Remus’ hair even tighter as they headed back inside the house, Riley’s tiny backpack slung around Remus’ forearm. 

“Nooo,” they wailed, half punctuated by laughter that echoed through the house. 

“What are we complaining about?” Janus spoke, leaning against the doorway across the room with a fond smile. 

“He said if I kick him in the teeth I have to play soccer,” Riley whined, attempting to climb down from Remus’ shoulders on their own. Janus snorted a laugh before swiftly crossing the room to collect their child and place them on their hip. 

“Wow, your daddy’s so mean,” Janus agreed, raising a challenging eyebrow as they stood in front of their husband. Remus pouted before bending down to steal a kiss.

“Gross,” Riley giggled, pressing a hand on each of their parents’ faces to separate them. 

“Gross?” Janus smirked. “Well in that case, maybe your dad was being a bit unfair.”

Riley turned to Remus to stick out their tongue at him. 

“I mean, soccer? That’s just ridiculous,” Janus continued, a mischievous glint in their eyes. “We’ll obviously have to sign you up for football instead. A punt like that has got to be put to good use.”

Riley immediately went back to their dramatized complaining, this time reaching desperately for Remus to get him to take them back from Janus—to which Remus just held up his hands in mock innocence.

“No can do, kid,” he smirked. “The punishment has to fit the crime, after all.”

Riley continued their attempts to wiggle out of Janus’ unyielding grip.

“Never!” They declared, trying a different approach of reaching over Janus’ shoulder to escape from behind. “I won’t! I won’t do it, I promise!”

Remus and Janus both knew they wouldn’t actively try to hurt either of them, but sometimes it was just more fun to assert rules when it came with shrieking laughter and climbing their parents like a jungle gym.

“Well, now you know where we stand,” Remus spoke in false authority, reaching for one of Riley’s tiny shoes and holding it up to address it as if it were in control of their legs. “I better not see you around these parts again, ya’ hear?” He added in an over-the-top western accent, gesturing to his face. 

Riley squealed with laughter as he held out his hand for a handshake and they shook it with their accused foot. 

“Alright, alright, you two,” Janus intervened with fond exasperation. “Snacks are on the counter, take it or leave it.”

Riley whipped their head around to peer into the kitchen, cheering when they spotted two plates on the kitchen counter, each with a toaster waffle piled high with blueberries. 

“Second…breakfast!” They cheered, drumroll-ing on their leg before whooping and slinking out of Janus’ grip and climbing up onto the kitchen barstools. Remus, giving a fond eye-roll at the enthusiasm, turned to drape his arms over Janus’ shoulders from behind, perching his chin on top of their head. 

“They get it from you, you know,” he mumbled, smirking at the scoff it earned him. 

“Shut up,” Janus grumbled, the smile evident in their voice. “That is all you.”

“Babe, sports are a threat in this house,” he teased. “You’re telling me that came from me?”

“Yeah, I’ll take that one,” they chided, turning around to face their husband. “As long as you’re aware that the energy, the volume—honey, that’s all you.”

Remus quirked his brow with a proud smirk. 

“Or maybe it’s the fact that they sleep for fourteen hours and we haven’t even had eight in the last six years,” he challenged knowingly. “You know, I happen to remember that back in the day…that bed was hardly even for sleeping.”

Janus snorted, their face reddening slightly.

“Is it bad to think of those as the ‘good old days’ already?”

Remus swept a piece of their hair out of their face. 

“Hell no, dude. We lived like kings back then,” he chuckled. “How ‘bout this—I’ll get Ro to take ‘em to the park or something this weekend and I’ll dick you down just like old times, ‘kay?”

Janus sputtered out a cackle, smacking Remus on the chest before covering his mouth with their hand.

“Fucking christ, they’re like two yards away,” they hissed, still laughing. “I am not going to be the one fielding questions about what getting dicked down means, oh my god.”

“You say that like they listen to anything when there’s food in front of them,” Remus countered, nodding in the direction of their kid as Janus rolled their eyes with a chuckle. 

“Now that, is from you,” they grinned, jabbing him in the side with their elbow. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re serving up delicacies like toaster waffles,” Remus said, raising his hands in mock defense. 

Janus gave him a look before crossing their arms. 

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky I know you can’t go two hours without food. Go on, there’s one for you, even if it’s probably cold by now,” they teased as Remus excitedly kissed their forehead before practically running to the kitchen. He hopped up to sit on the counter, folding each toaster waffle like a blueberry-filled taco before funneling them into his mouth. 

Janus followed close behind—at a normal pace, thank you very much—and took the actual seat next to their kid, sipping at the cup of tea they had left on the counter before the two had returned home as they listened to Riley regaling their day at school.

———

Realistically, Remus probably should’ve seen it coming. He was a couple days past his previous record of days as Riley’s “favorite” and he knew he likely didn’t have much longer before Janus dethroned him again, but he certainly hadn’t expected the scene he walked in on that night. 

He had heard hushed laughter coming from one of their house’s bathrooms that evening, assuming at first that Janus was just handling Riley’s bath or something like that, but as he cleaned up the mess from their dinner and finished washing the rest of their dishes, he was surprised to find they were still in there. So obviously he had to investigate. 

He knocked on the door, rolling his eyes fondly as shushing and giggles came from within. 

“Everything good in there?” He teased, leaning against the door. “I gotta’ say, I’m a little hurt I didn’t get invited to whatever club this is that hangs out in the bathroom.”

More giggles followed by the oh-so familiar sound of Janus’ shushing. 

“I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself what all the fuss is about,” he sing-songed, slowly creaking open the door before letting out a snort laugh at the scene before him. 

Janus was seated on the edge of the bathtub, wash cloth in hand, as Riley sat on the sink counter, covered on all limbs with temporary tattoos. At least the pieces of tape that Janus had cut into circles and colored black to look like ear gauges were admittedly cute. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” he smirked from against the doorframe. 

“JJ said you’re a wimp,” Riley proudly announced. “I was right.”

Janus stuck their tongue out and made a spitting noise and…yeah, that was their kid alright. Not that Remus would have it any other way. 

#anyway.......i would die for them #my writing #tsbandau #sanders sides #ts remus #ts janus

[dameronology]

one hell of a mandalorian {din djarin}

summary: actions speak louder than words - which is good for din djarin, because he's not very good at words. (this was a commission for an anon! i hope you enjoy).

warnings: language

enjoy!! if you're interested in commissions, you can find out more here :)

- jazz xx

Din Djarin was a man of few words.

That had become clear not long after you'd met.

It wasn't that he didn't like talking, or that he was rude - he'd just never had the need for it. The Mandalorian could spend days and days in hyperspace, on his own with nothing but a frozen bounty to keep him company. And they were hardly chatty, even before they were thrown away into the trawling depths of carbonite animation. There were a few select geniuses who tried to make conversation with him in a last-ditch attempt to appeal to his humanity and beg for mercy, but so far, they'd had a zero-for-zero success rate. It wasn't that he didn't have any humanity to appeal to it - because he did, and his weird, green surrogate kid was an absolute testament to that - but it just took a little bit for it to come out.

The beskar made him seem a little...robotic. Like a droid, which was ironic, because he wouldn't have gone near the things with a ten-foot-barge pole. Din had just become so used to people seeing his mask and his intimidating posture before him that having human traits, like feelings and thoughts and opinions, had never been any use. Having defining traits and a personality was all well and good, but nothing helped you through the galaxy quite like the ability to put the fear of God in people.

The Mandalorian was something, but Din Djarin was somebody. He was good; not necessarily pure and golden-hearted like a typical comic book hero, but he had a strong moral compass. Sometimes, it pointed in opposite directions, but he helped those who needed it and he paid his dues. That was probably a lot more than anyone in the galaxy could have said for themselves. In the fight of good and bad, in a world that existed entirely and black and white, there was nothing more grey than an honest man. Somebody who refused to pick a side held the power of both. For that, Din could have either been extremely smart, or extremely dumb.

Sometimes, he was extremely dumb. Made the wrong moves in combat, or got too cocky, however out of character it was for him. It was the losing fights that truly brought out the human side of Din, and it took a very, very specific eye to see it, sometimes to the point where even he missed it. It never went over your head, though.

You'd joined the crew on the Razor Crest as a mechanic - then you became a baby sitter, and his partner-in-crime, and the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend. His non-verbal nature meant that most of his emotional cues came in the physical form. It went over the heads of everybody else, but between your intuition, and the time spent in such a cramped space, it quickly became like a second language to you. Helmet tilts when he was confused, and little nods when he was pleased; tensed shoulders when the Mandalorian was nervous and balled fists when he was about to absolutely lose his shit.

Today was one of those days. Even though you were both in one piece and the baby was - by some absolute fucking miracle - asleep, it almost hadn't been that way. Nevarro had been quieter than usual, and Din had let his guard down; finally convinced himself to relax a tiny bit and ever-so-slightly loosen the stick that was firmly up his backside. His sudden lack of awareness for your surroundings had meant that someone managed to track the Crest, however briefly. The kid had barely noticed, and you weren't phased by what had been a simple, human mistake. Din, true to nature, was already beating himself up for it.

That was evidenced by his heavy footsteps, and the way he'd immediately retreated to the cockpit and slammed the door. Common sense would have entailed that he wanted to be left alone, but you'd long surpassed the point of any of that. Common sense didn't exist in a galaxy like this one. Doing the obvious thing was, nine times out of ten, usually the wrong way. Expecting the unexpected was the right way to go.

You'd paced outside the door for the better part of fifteen minutes - to go in, or to not go in, that was the question. You were torn between wanting to give Din space and wanting to be there for him; a cranky Din was often an unbearable one, but you cared deeply for him. Maybe a little too much, but that was a can of worms to open later.

"Din?" You gently called. Nothing. "I know you're brooding, or whatever it is you do under that helmet, but talking is good."

"I'm fine."

You sighed. "The scale goes great, good, bad, awful, world-ending and then fine."

"I've never heard that before in my life."

"Yeah, I just made it up on the spot." You murmured.

Resting your hand against the doorknob, you pondered for a moment. Did you want to risk it by going in? Making him mad when he was literally shutting you out? It was hard to know what to do with Din - it wasn't like he came with an answer key, or even a vague manual that could point you in the right direction. It was all just guess work.

"Is the helmet on?" You softly asked.

"Yeah."

You took that as a sign - with a deep breath, you gently opened the door and stepped inside the cockpit, shutting it quietly behind you. The tense atmosphere inside was almost enough to swallow you whole. The man practically radiated angst.

"Talk to me." You took a seat beside him.

"There's nothing to say."

"Bullshit." You murmured. "You might have a thousand inches of beskar hiding your face but your body language is a dead giveaway."

"I'm meant to protect you and the kid." He replied. It wasn't much, but it was better than silence. "It's my job to catch bad people and outrun them when I need."

"You did outrun them." You reminded him. "I'm safe. You're safe. The kid is safe. Does anything else matter?"

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." Din said. "I was relaxed-"

"- you allowed to relax." You cut him off. "Despite your best efforts, you're a human being."

Reaching out, you gently placed your hand over Din's ungloved palm. He didn't resist or try to brush you away. His hands were soft and callous in equal measures, which felt like a fitting metaphor for him on the whole. You tangled your fingers in his and held on tightly, perhaps in a sad attempt to remind him that you were there.

But Din knew you were there - he could feel it constantly, and he thought about it just as much. Every day of his life prior to you had been filled with rigidity and angst, then you'd come waltzing in and for the first time in years, he'd untensed his muscles and stopped looking over his shoulder. Learnt to take a breath and enjoy the simple things in life, like Grogu laughing or you accidentally tripping over a tree branch. You'd become so important to him that the prospect of losing you was too much for him to even fathom. He'd come close today - too close - and it had been an eye-opener. The irony was that telling you why he was so fucking scared was more frightening than the entire thing itself.

"Don't be so hard on yourself." The gentle pull of your voice lulled him back to reality. "Please?"

His grip on your hand tightened. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." You breathily smiled. "You don't have to apologise."

"I never thought I'd have someone like you." Din admitted. "Coming so close to losing you was terrifying, even if it wasn't that close at all."

He'd never been so open about his feeling towards you before. Obviously, you knew that he viewed you in a way he didn't see anybody else, but that knowledge had been based entirely on physical cues and mere guesswork. You'd never expected him to vocalise the way he felt, or even acknowledge them. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, or even something you considered to be detrimental. The words came as a nice surprise.

"You mean a lot to me, Din." You said. He'd always loved the way his name sounded when you said it; nobody had used it for years, not since he'd lost his parents. It was something to vulnerable and personal. You were the only one he trusted with it.

"I do?"

You didn't mean to laugh at that - you really didn't, but it just came out. A low snort of disbelief; shock at his absolute inability to read the fucking room. Din was as intuitive as they came, with the ability to read criminals like a bedtime story he'd been rehearsing since he was a kid. Then it came to you, and he knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. To call him clueless would be the understatement of the century.

"Maker." You murmured. "Of course you do - more than anyone or anything."

"You're special to me." Din replied. "It scares me sometimes."

Din was straight forward with everything he said - it was just finding the courage to say it. He'd gone into battle with Imps and Republic Rangers alike; fought krayt dragons and droids and fellow Mandalorians and yet this entire thing shook him to his very core more than anything else.

You didn't know it, but you were perfectly holding his gaze. Staring right through it and looking right into his soul. He forgot he had one sometimes. It was probably a little dusty and covered in cobwebs, but it was there, and you were bringing it right out of him and back to reality.

Din used his grip on your hands to pull you a little closer - a moment later, he gently pressed the cold metal of his helmet to his forehead. It was the closest you'd ever been to him, even if it wasn't that close at all. You could hear his soft breathing through the modulator, the sensation acting as a stunning reminder that there was a person underneath there. There were times when you forgot, or felt a little disconnected from the idea entirely. You'd never felt the need to see his face, though - you hadn't a clue what he might look like, but at the same time, you had an image of him in your head. It was as clear as day; as bright as the suns on Tatooine and as persevering as the kid's insistence that he receive all your attention, all the time.

You knew what the action was; a Keldabe kiss. The Mandalorian had recounted its meaning to you not long after you'd met - he'd finally let his barriers down and let you plague him with questions about his culture and the creed, and you'd stumbled on the subject. Initially, you'd been entertained by the fact that it two such vastly different meanings. On one hand, it could be a headbutt. A beskar punch to knock the daylights out of anyone who particularly annoyed you. On the other hand, it was almost a romantic gesture; a way that Mandalorians could show their affection to one another without having to remove their armour.

Din had the latter meaning in mind, but also so much more. He was giving you a piece of his culture - including you in the very thing that defined him as a person.

"It won't happen again." The Mandalorian gently said. "I'll never let you get hurt again. I promise."

"I know." You softly smiled. Your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of the cool metal against your forehead. "For what it's worth, I have your back too."

He softly chuckled. "Thank you."

You gently pulled back, eyes meeting again (not that you could tell).

"Seriously!" You said. "I can be a bad-ass."

"You can be a lot of things." Din replied. "You're one hell of a girl."

"And you're one hell of a Mandalorian."

#din djarin x reader #din djarin x fem! reader #din djarin x you #din djarin imagine #din djarin imagines #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #mandalorian imagines #mandalorian fluff #din djarin fluff #star wars x reader #star wars characters #star wars x you #star wars imagines

[avengerscompound]

The Tower: Family - 30

The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 1941

Warnings:  Pregnancy, smut (MF, breastplay, vaginal sex, lactation (but not as a kink and not much of it))

Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family.  When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.

Chapter 30: Home Remedies

Natasha and Rebecca only stayed in the medbay overnight.  They were home within a day and we quickly went back to normal life.  Things were getting hectic now with three infants and two toddlers but we still outnumbered them and we had the benefit of having staff to help.  Not just the nannies but cooks and cleaners and people to do laundry.  It meant we were free just to take care of the kids and for those still working, they had that too.  With all of us, we had this rotating wheel of people ready for midnight feelings, diaper changes, bedtime stories, trips to school, baths, and playtime.  No one was exactly well-rested, but no one was exhausted either.

One thing that was becoming increasingly clear though, Rose, Rebecca, and Sarah adored their older brother and sister.  All three infants’ gazes went automatically to where Riley and Pietro were in the room.  When they were fussy, it only took Riley and Pietro coming over and talking to them or playing with a toy in their line of view for them to quiet again, and when Rose and Sarah reached six weeks old and began to smile, they always had one for their big brother and sister.

Riley and Pietro still generally found the babies a little boring and thought they needed a little too much attention, but they were generally doing okay with the new babies in the house and as the babies started to be able to a little more, they began to warm up to them.  We each tried to make sure we spent proper quality time with each of them one-on-one at least once a week so that they never felt like they were neglected or overlooked by anyone.

The last big thing we were all waiting for was Edwin to arrive.

Unfortunately, he had other plans.  As my due date came and went I became more uncomfortable and exhausted.  I just wanted him out but he was determined to stay put.  I tried a few natural remedies.  I was eating spicy food and drinking raspberry leaf tea.  The others were ready and available to give me a massage whenever I asked.   I was walking the kids to school, and spending a lot of time doing yoga and swimming, (even if that meant taking Riley and Pietro down to the pool with me).  I even had Tony take me on long drives, making sure to hit every bit of bumpy road in the Tri-State area to try and get things going.  I was having sex every night and often during the day to try and get labor started, and on the day after Edwin’s due date I called in my prize from Sam and we had a marathon sex session while the kids were at school where he made me come to the point I ended up tapping out exhausted - but still that kid was determined to stay put.

At forty-one weeks, they were talking about me having a cesarean, and considering I’d had one with the twins, I really wanted to at least try a vaginal birth.  Especially given the recovery time after surgery and the fact we would then have six children to worry about.

I was desperate and stressed, which was doing nothing to help the situation because my blood pressure was going up, which only made Doctor Schroeder more adamant that if it didn’t happen naturally soon, it would have to be a c-section.

I came home from an appointment distraught.  Doctor Schroeder had told me that I would need to come in the following day and if my blood pressure hadn’t gone back down then it was time to intervene.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Steve said as our group came through the door.  “I’ll take you up and give you a nice relaxing massage, and you can have a nap.  We’ll get that blood pressure back down.”

Tony looked at me apologetically, like he was blaming himself for what was going on, and he rubbed my back.  “Sorry, honey,” he said.  “Of course it’s the one that’s related to me that’s causing all the trouble.”

I shook my head, and Bruce patted his shoulder.  “You heard the doc,” he said. “These things happen.  El knew there was the potential that she’d have to have another cesarean.  It’s no one’s fault and it’s better he gets here and everyone is safe and sound, right?”

“Right,” I said with a nod.  Of course, that was true, but it didn’t make me feel a whole lot better.

Steve led me up to our bedroom and dimmed the lights.  I stripped down naked while he lit some candles.  “See if you can sleep after this,” he said.  “The kids will be back from school when you wake up, and we can take them down to the pool together if you like.”

“I’ll try,” I said, and sat down in the special massage chair Tony had got for us.

“Shea or Mango?”  Steve asked.

“Shea please,” I answered and he came over and sat down on a stool behind me and began to slowly massage my back.  I relaxed in the chair as best I could, letting the chair support my head, chest, and arms as Steve worked out my tension and rubbed the body butter into my skin.  FRIDAY played a gentle calming song over the speakers and gradually I began to relax completely.

“You ready to try and nap?”  Steve asked as I began to doze a little.

I nodded and he helped me up and led me over to the bed.  I climbed in and he pulled away from me.  “You're not staying?” I asked.

“Just going to wash my hands, sweetheart,” he assured me.

I pulled my body pillow in under my knee and hugged it.  Steve washed his hands and stripped down to his undershirt and boxers before climbing in behind me, spooning me from behind.

He placed his hand on my stomach and I moved it up to my breast, he began to slowly and gently massage it and I hummed and pushed my ass back against his crotch.

“Thought you were gonna sleep,” he whispered against my ear.

“That will help me sleep,” I joked.

He chuckled softly and ghosted his lips up my neck as he began to apply more pressure on my breasts  “Will it now?”

“And maybe it might get the labor started.”  I rolled over to face him and looked into his eyes.  “That would fix all of this wouldn’t it?  If I go into labor then we don’t have to worry about my blood pressure.”

“You don’t have to beg, sweetheart,” he said, gently.  He caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers and I leaned into his hand.  “It’s not a chore.”

I shook my head.  “Sorry.  I’ve been out of control lately.  Even more so than my usually high libido.  It feels like I’ve been making it a chore.”

“Then let's make it special,” he whispered and leaned in and kissed me.

It was deep and tender, his lips gently caressing mine.  His hand returned to my breast and slowly massaged it, making me moan softly into his lips, and push myself closer to him, so my large belly pressed against his taut abdominal muscles.

He kissed down my neck, sucking softly on my skin.  I ran my fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck as I held him to me, relishing in the warmth of his body.  He moved further down and as he reached my breasts, his hand came to rest on my cunt.  I hummed softly as his tongue circled my areola and flicked over my nipple.  He closed his lips around it and began to suck.  His cheeks hollowed as he suckled at my breast.  It sent an ache through me, settling in at my core and making my muscles clench.  I moaned and my cunt flooded.  Even taking into account how much I loved my breasts being stimulated, and how sensitive they were right now due to how close I was to giving birth - there was something different about the way this felt.  It was like my core muscles tightened in response and something pressed down inside me, while at the same time my breast felt like pressure released in them.  I moaned and pushed up against him more.

He pulled back and wiped his mouth.  “You must be so close, El,” he whispered.  “I actually got something then.”

I felt myself turn a bright red.  “Oh god.  I’m sorry.”

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for. It’s natural and normal,” he said, drawing me back closer to him.  “It tastes sweet.”

“Yeah?”  I asked.

“Mm-hmm… it’s beautiful,” he said and latched back onto my breast.

I tensed but it felt so damned good.  His fingers began to work my clit and soon I was moaning and shuddering under his attention.  My cunt slicked his fingers as they moved up and down my folds and circled over my clit and my breast leaked just a small amount as he suckled on them.

“Steve,” I moaned, arching my back a little on the bed.  “Steve, I need you.  Please fuck me.”

Steve leaned up and kissed me deeply.  I could taste the sweet colostrum lingering on his lips and moaned softly, letting him guide me onto my side.  He pushed his boxers down and spooned me, pulling me flush against him and wrapping his arms around me so I was completely engulfed by him.  He started to slowly rut his hips so his cock slid up and down my folds and teased my entrance.  I leaned my head back on his shoulder, my lips slightly parted, and as he brought his lips to mine he sunk his cock slowly inside me.

I moaned into the kiss and he slowly began to fuck me.  His hands roamed over my body, massaging my tits, holding my throat, rubbing my clit.  It was like I was falling apart slowly.  A soft buzz crept through me, traveling through my veins, and spiraling down to my core.  I rolled my hips with him as he thrust in from behind.

Gradually my orgasm built inside me and pressed down.  My muscles clenched and my cunt fluttered and with a moan, I came.

“That’s it,” Steve praised and kissed my neck.  He picked up his pace a little as he chased his own release.  I gasped and moaned louder, clenching around his cock.  His hands tightened on my breasts and he tugged on my nipples.  I mewled loudly and another orgasm hit, stronger than before.

Steve’s groaned and kissed me again and with a deep thrust, he came, spilling inside me.  He slowed his thrusts as his cock pulsed inside me and caressed my cheek with his thumb.  I hummed happily into his lips and as he slipped out of me, a tight pain spread around my midriff.  I curled forward and whined.

Steve immediately started rubbing my back.  “Did we do it?  Was that a contraction?”

“I think… might just be a Braxton Hicks of course,” I said as it quickly passed.

“Alright,” Steve said, kissing my shoulder.  “Try and sleep.  Either way, you need the rest.  If it’s started we’ll know soon enough.”

I nodded and closed my eyes.  “Thank you, Steve,” I whispered.

“Of course, sweetheart,” he soothed.  “And I’m not going anywhere.”

I smiled and as I drifted off in his arms, I hoped that what would wake me up would be my labor pains.

// NEXT

#the avengers #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tony stark #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #clint barton #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #avengers fanfic #avengers x oc #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes x oc #tony stark x oc #stucky #clintasha #natasha romanoff x oc #wanda maximoff x oc #clint barton x oc #bruce banner x oc #sam wilson x oc #all caps #thor x oc #thor #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #pregnancy #the tower

[kosmikowboj]

I want to preface this by saying I do Not celebrate Easter and I don’t think TFW would either, but my mom told me a story about how when I was really little we went to an Easter egg hunt and the older kids kept stealing eggs from me, and it cracked me up so much that this ficlet was born. enjoy <3

Napinis

[word count: 1,315]

This was a bad idea.

(Which was why, if anyone asked, Dean was going to say it was Cas’s.)

After stopping the apocalypse for what was (hopefully) the last time and dragging Cas’s ass out of the Empty, Dean had promptly thrown up his hands and retired. At first, that had consisted of wrestling with his sobriety while Cas secretly house-hunted behind his back; then it had consisted of settling down in a small farmhouse with their antichrist baby and some chickens, and a garden in the front yard notorious for its never-ending supply of green beans. Nearly every day when morning broke, Dean would roll over in Cas’s arms and squint against the sun, realizing he had forgotten to close the blinds the night previous; he was still getting used to having to close blinds at all. He lived in a house. With the love of his life and their kid!

That was not the bad idea. By all accounts, that was a fantastic idea—Dean felt a whole lot less shitty about existing when it consisted of Cas, and Jack, and bees on freshly bloomed flowers, and Sunday farmers’ markets. It was peaceful. Dean hadn’t ever thought he would get peaceful. 

No, the bad idea was taking Jack to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. He was all of five-years-old (nearly six), which meant he could run really fast when he was trying to avoid bedtime but not as fast as, say, a boy who was all of eight-years-old. Or multiple boys who were eight-years-old. Consequently, Jack spent most of his egg-hunting time with an empty basket, trotting up to an egg he had found only to have some older kid speed by and snatch it up at the last second. All things considered, Jack was taking it relatively well—he would just kind of blink as if to say, Where’d it go? and then keep wandering around the grass to find more. 

It was after about the fifth or sixth egg snatch that he started to get frustrated, and after the seventh that he plopped down in the grass and started crying. His basket was still empty, aside from the single egg they had given all the kids as an example of what to look for, and he pointedly refused to look at it.

“Wanna go home,” he mumbled when Dean hurried over and knelt down next to him. Dean sat down all the way and Jack promptly climbed into his lap, scrubbing roughly at the tears on his cheeks with his hands.

“I’m with you, bub,” Dean agreed, pressing a small kiss to the top of his forehead as he gently pulled Jack’s fingers away from his reddened face. “If your daddy wasn’t busy chatting with the neighborhood moms,” he nodded towards where Cas was talking animatedly with several women about...flowers, or something, “we’d be outta here.” 

Cas, in fact, seemed completely oblivious to the fact that their son had given up on their late morning activity, fully engrossed in his conversation. Dean narrowed his eyes, and then looked over to where the rest of the kids were still looking for Easter eggs. They had to be nearing some of the final ones now. 

“Hey Jack,” Dean whispered loudly, and Jack perked up almost immediately. He had started calling it "Pops’ adventure whisper,” which always made Dean crack up. “Would you be willing to give it another go if I helped you out?”

“Parents aren’t allowed,” Jack pointed out sadly. 

“Neither are asshole kids,” Dean argued.

“Daddy says you shouldn’t say that word!” 

“Daddy is too involved in conversation to scold me.” Dean stood up, holding Jack against his chest. He was going to be too big for Dean to do that soon. “C’mon. It’ll be fun.” 

“Okay,” Jack said, kicking Dean’s stomach as a signal that he would like to be put down now, thank you very much. Dean chuckled and set him down, trailing after him as he peeked in bushes and behind trees looking for eggs. Any time it seemed as though someone might take an egg before Jack could get to it, Dean would sprint forward and scare them off, repeatedly sending Jack into a fit of giggles that almost made him forget there were Easter eggs in the offing. 

He ended up with a grand total of five, including the one he had received just for showing up, but he didn’t seem to mind his small bounty that much—after it was announced that the hunt was over (and Dean smiled a tad to himself at the realization that this was the only kind of hunt he would have to worry about from now on), he ran over and very proudly showed his basket to Cas.

“Daddy look!” 

“Wow!” Cas gasped, smiling as he knelt down to Jack’s level. “You did a great job, Jack. I’m very proud of you.”

“Pops helped,” Jack beamed, looking back at Dean. Dean returned the smile, but was inwardly cursing his kid’s sudden willingness to share credit—he had no doubt he was about to get an earful from Cas about the integrity of the neighborhood Easter egg hunt, and—

“Pops wasn’t suppose to help,” Cas said, scowling over the top of Jack’s head at Dean. Yep, there it was.

“Pops was tired of watching older kids steal from his kid,” Dean shot back. 

“Is that why Judith’s son is crying?” 

Silence. 

“Dean.”

“Cas.”

Cas leveled Dean with one of what Dean called his “angel stares.”

(Nevermind the fact that Cas wasn’t an angel anymore; the ability to intimidate had stayed, apparently).

“I didn’t do anything!” Dean exclaimed, holding his hands up in self-defense. And then, more quietly, “If he got scared by me running at him so he wouldn’t steal from Jack, that’s his problem.” 

Cas shook his head, but Dean could see he was trying not to laugh, so he had won, clearly.

“Are you five, Dean?” Cas asked, fighting back a grin as he stood up.

“I’m five!” Jack supplied helpfully. “I have one egg for each year I have been born.” He looked up at his dads hopefully. “I can get six next year.”

“You sure can,” Cas agreed. He held his hand out and Jack took it eagerly, swinging his basket with the other as they started back towards the car (most notably not Baby, because apparently Baby was “atrociously unsafe for a child”). Dean furrowed his eyebrows.

“No pouting. I have two hands,” Cas said, waving his free hand in front of Dean’s face. Dean tried to grab it but Cas pulled it back. “Go apologize to Ryan.”

Dean groaned. “I’ll apologize to Ryan when he apologizes to Jack.”

“He’s eight, Dean.”

“And I’m forty-four. What’s your point?”

“I was hoping my forty-four-year-old husband might have more maturity than an eight-year-old.” Cas rolled his eyes, and then turned them into those stupid puppy dog ones he had learned from Sam. “Please? Judith is going to glare at me the entirety of next week’s book club if you don’t.”

Dean gave a deep, dramatic sigh. “Fine. Can we get paninis for lunch after I apologize, at least?”

“I love napinis!” Jack cheered. “Can we please get napinis Daddy? Please please please—”

“Yes. We can get paninis.” Cas turned to Dean. “You are a terror and a menace.”

“Yeah, well, you have the really hot angel who raised me from perdition to blame for that.”

Cas gave a warm, sunshine smile, kissing Dean softly.

“Gross!” Jack said, making a fake gagging sound to accentuate his point.

Cas and Dean, in typical parent fashion, proceeded to make a bunch of gross fake kissing noises until Jack’s vehement protesting finally broke them apart.

“You still have to apologize to Ryan,” Cas said.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. I’ll meet you and Jack back at the car?”

“Mhm. Love you.”

“Love you too, Cas.”

#my writing #supernatural #spn #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #cas winchester #jack kline #baby jack

[onceuponaloonatic]

i wanted to wait to post this until after i did the chaetzu part, but it is a proper first part to the misahyo au in the main timeline for the au!! of courses asks from different times are also accepted (i would love to dive more into baby nico if you guys want to discuss it it’s always cute) but most of the actual plotline that i post from long little things like this will be from this time !! anyway please enjoy !! 

tw: depression, anxiety, asthma, parents having mental health issues, etc...

Jihyo can tell something is wrong with her wife. She had barely said anything to Jihyo since her last class ended and she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from her phone. She was also being more fidgety than normal, Jihyo could see it in the way Sana couldn’t stop her feet from moving while they were waiting for their daughter’s preschool to be over. She wanted to reach a hand out and to slow Sana’s fidgeting, to ask her what was wrong, but she also didn’t think now was the right time.

“We can probably go in now.” Jihyo points out when she sees the hour change on her phone. Nico’s preschool ended at exactly five pm, and Nico wanted them to be there to pick her up at four forty five. Sana nods at this, taking another glance at her phone before putting it down and putting it in her pocket for the first time since they had left work. When they get inside, they find their daughter isn’t waiting for them in the front of her classroom like she normally did. Jihyo sighed at that. It could only mean one thing. “Why don’t you go sign Nic out while I talk to her?” Jihyo turned to Sana, who instantly understood. Nico hadn’t taken to preschool very well. She had been okay at first, but her behaviour varied depending on the day. Some days she was the best behaved kid in her class, others the teachers would have to call them to come take her home because no one could calm her down. Usually, when it was a good day, Nico would eagerly wait for them by the entrance to her classroom. When it wasn’t, Nico would be at her desk pouting. That’s where Jihyo finds her today. Curled up in her desk next to the window in a little ball looking like she was in a mood. “Hey kiddo.” Nico’s eyes briefly light up when she turns to Jihyo. “Ready to go home?” “No.” Nico pouted, curling in on herself more. “Didn’t get to play outside yet.” “Nico…” Jihyo sighed, picking her up and holding her on one hip. She adjusted the pink hello kitty face mask Mina made Nico wear on days like these and kissed her forehead. “We’ve talked about this. You can’t play outside every day.” “But- every one else can.” Nico buried her face in Jihyo’s shoulder. “I want to play outside.” “I know.” It always hurt Jihyo to see Nico like this. It wasn’t long after Nico came home from the hospital that she started having severe breathing problems. After numerous doctors visits and examinations they determined she had fairly severe asthma. Combined with the fact Nico had inherited Sana’s pollen allergies and the smog in Seoul, Nico’s doctors had told them it would be for the best if she didn’t play outside often. Especially when the pollen or smog was bad. They even told them she needed to start wearing face masks if the air quality was too bad. 

It had been heartbreaking for all three of them, but they could never imagine how difficult it was for Nico. She had to live with the fact she couldn’t go play at the park or at recess whenever she wanted. It got especially bad when she entered preschool. They had talked about maybe not sending her to a school and hiring a nanny or private tutor instead, but the cost of that quickly became too much too fast. All of their friends and family worked, so it’s not like they could watch her either. So preschool really was their only option. Even if it made Nico so beyond frustrated to see the other kids her age enjoying playing freely while she was stuck inside. It always broke Jihyo a little more when she thought about days like this for Nico. She could almost imagine her daughter sitting inside in front of the window watching all the other kids run around outside with that look on her face she gets when she's sad, the one that hurts Jihyo more than words can explain. They had made sure Nico’s teacher was very well aware of her breathing problems, and her teacher was always good about trying to find things for Nico to do when the other kids were outside playing, but Jihyo knew it would never quite be the same. “I know sweetheart.” Jihyo sighed, kissing Nico’s temple again. “Tomorrow.” “But-But you said that yesterday.” Nico was still learning to talk, and her words weren’t articulated great, but Jihyo could feel the pain in Nico’s voice. “I want to play on the playground mama.” “I know kiddo.” Jihyo sighed again. “Come on, Mommy is waiting.” Nico stayed silent, letting Jihyo carry her over to where Sana was waiting. She was on her phone again, and Jihyo couldn’t help but wonder what the heck Sana was doing. “Hey Nico.” Sana put her phone away once she saw the two of them. Her expression softened when she noticed how upset she looked in Jihyo’s arms. “I know today wasn’t good.” Sana put a hand on Nico’s back. “I’m sorry, but Ka-san is going to make you your favorite for dinner.” “Katsu?” Nico asked, taking her face out of Jihyo’s shoulder to look at Sana. “Katsu curry rice. With lots of potatoes and carrots just like you like it.” Sana smiled at Nico, kissing her forehead. Katsu curry was a meal Mina reserved for days like these, days where she knew Nico would have a hard day just from the weather report. Checking the air quality report every morning had become as natural as checking the weather for them now. “No pepper?” Nico stuck her tongue out at the word pepper. “No peppers” Sana giggled at Nico when she asked that. Nico absolutely hated peppers, and whenever Mina would try and sneak them into her food she would throw a fit. Nico’s face softened and Sana smiled at that, brushing a stray strand of her hair behind her tiny ear. “Just lots of carrots and potatoes.” “And Katsu?” “Well of course there’s Katsu. It’s Katsu curry.” Sana giggled at Nico’s statement.  Jihyo smiled at the two, happy Sana had come out of her own phone enough to talk to Nico. It was still bothering her that she had no idea what Sana was so worked up about, but she could push that aside for now. When she was with Nico, she wanted fully be there for her. After all, as much as she wanted to, days like this wouldn’t last forever. 

xx 

It seemed Nico wasn’t the only one having an off day. 

Jihyo and Sana hadn’t seen Mina since that morning. She had texted them to say she was going to make Katsu curry for dinner but other than that there had been no communication from their wife. It didn’t take long for them to figure out something was wrong with Mina. “Where’s Ka-san?” Nico had taken off trying to find Mina the minute they had gotten home. Mina was usually in the living room, but they guessed Nico had already checked there plus the kitchen. “Hm… Maybe she’s taking a nap?” Sana had gotten good at lying to Nico. Jihyo was impressed by her skill, there used to be a time when Sana could never lie to their daughter. They both knew Mina wasn’t napping. Her work bag was thrown on the couch and her coat was on the floor. Mina always made the extra effort to put things away where they were supposed to go, always. Unless of course something was wrong. 

“Nico, why don’t we go take an early bath before dinner?” Jihyo offered. They liked giving Nico baths when she got home on days where the pollen was bad. She barely spent any time outside on those days, but they were still worried about any pollen dust getting on her skin. “Okay.” Nico liked baths. It was funny to them considering all their nieces and nephews had hated them at Nico’s age, but Nico absolutely loved them. Jihyo locked eyes with Sana, who nodded in understanding. Mina, like everyone in the world, had bad and good days. She just felt them a little more than others. Sana and Jihyo had been used to this for a while, but Nico was so young she couldn’t quite understand why her Ka-san couldn't be happy every day. She couldn’t understand why there were days where Mina couldn’t even see Nico. Days where she couldn’t get out of bed. Days where she couldn’t make Nico dinner or days where she couldn’t read her a bedtime story. 

Sana knocks on the door to their bedroom, and when she opens the door her heart breaks a little more. “Hey love.” Sana offers Mina a small smile. “We’re home.” “Hm?” Mina turns to her, covers pulled tightly around her and tear tracks on her cheeks. “Oh, welcome home.” Sana hates how forced it sounds. “Anything-” Sana pauses for a second. There was always one of two options when it came to talking to Mina when she was like this. She could be gentle, avoiding the problem and trying to coax Mina out of bed without making her talk about what was wrong. Or she could flat out ask Mina what was wrong. In the years of knowing Mina, Sana had never quite figured out which one Mina preferred. “Anything you want to talk about?” Mina stays quiet, turning her back to Sana like she hadn’t heard her. Sana didn’t take any offence to it though, she knew Mina heard her and just didn’t know what to say. “Okay. Jihyo is giving Nico a bath right now so I’m going to go offer some help. Oh don’t worry about dinner, we can take Nico to Jeongyeon’s before they close. The usual okay?” “Mm… Sure.” Mina answers, her back still to Sana. Sana takes a deep breath before putting her jacket down on the nightstand and grabbing a pair of sweatpants from the top drawer. She quickly changes into them before putting her work pants away, doing her best to ignore Mina as she did. 

She hurries to Jihyo and Nico. Nico is already in the bath by the time she gets there, and Jihyo is putting her best smile on. “Ka-san nap?” Nico asks her when she sees her. “Ka-san doesn’t feel very good so she’s resting.” Sana told Nico, grabbing a bath toy that had ended up on Nico’s vanity and putting it in the bath. Nico was covered in hot pink bubbles and surrounded by toys. The bathroom smelled overwhelmingly like strawberry bubble bath and soap. Sana liked to think she was used to it, but it never stopped it from temporarily overwhelming her nose every time she bathed Nico. “Again?” Nico asked. “Ka-san okay?” Both of them sucked a breath in at Nico’s question. 

“It’s just a cold baby.” Jihyo nodded, grabbing Nico’s shampoo to try and distract her. “Now who wants to be a good girl while Mama puts shampoo in her hair?” Jihyo is just thankful for the huge smile she is able to get out of Nico. 

xx 

While Sana dries Nico off and helps her change, she tells Jihyo to call Jeongyeon. “Hey Unnie.” Jihyo muttered when Jeongyeon picked up the phone, leaning against the wall across the door from Nico’s bedroom door. “Hey Hyo, what’s up?” Jeongyeon asked, clearly moving on the other side of the line. “I’m sorry to call you while you're at work, but Mina is- well I think we are going to have to go to the restaurant for dinner, if that’s okay?” Jihyo asked, sighing as she looked down the hall at the door to their bedroom. “Course it’s okay. You guys are always welcome.” Jeongyeon was quick to answer. “Will you bring Nico?” “Yeah. She had a rough day at school again today so she might be in a bit of a mood. We just gave her a bath just now and she seemed a bit better, but I’m sure she’ll be upset all over again when I tell her she can’t have Katsu Curry.” Jihyo sighed. “Katsu Curry?” Jeongyeon asked, a bit confused. “It’s what Mina always makes her on days where the air quality is really bad.” Jihyo explained. “It’s one of her favorite foods, but Mina always complains it’s bad for her so she saves it for days like today.” “I see.” Jeongyeon hummed. “I could make it for her. I’m not sure we have the stuff, but I could go grab some on my next break.” “Oh no, it’s fine. Just make her her usual.” Jihyo quickly denied. 

“Wow, you think I can’t make instant curry, meat, and some vegetables? You offend me Park.” Jeongyeon taunted her.

“It’s nothing against you, she’s very picky about it. I tried to make it for her once and Nico threw a fit. I- we don’t need to add anything to her mood today. Just make her her usual, she likes blander food when she has rough days like this so maybe use a bit less sauce?” “Hyo she already eats mostly rice.” Jeongyeon pointed out. “Yeah, I know.” Jihyo sighed. “Anyway we should be over in the next hour or so.” “Cool. Hey Hyo… Is Mina okay?” Jihyo’s heart seized at the question. Was Mina okay? Jihyo really didn’t know anymore. “This has been happening a lot lately… Of course you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, I’m just a little worried.” “I don’t know Unnie.” Jihyo eyed their bedroom door again. “Sana and I both- we have no clue. We know Mina can have it rough sometimes- but this has definitely been the longest episode she’s had in a while.” “Have you talked to her therapist?” Jeongyeon asked. “She hasn't seen her in years. I tried to suggest to Mina to maybe call her, but I have a crazy feeling Mina never did.” Jihyo shifted her weight from leg to leg. “I’m worried about her too. But Mina doesn’t want to let anyone in right now, and we are trying to respect her space.” “Has Sana said anything about it?” “Sana seems… Preoccupied?” Jihyo tested the word out to see if it was the right one. “Yeah, that sounds right. Something has been on her mind lately, especially today.” “Huh.” Jeongyeon sighed and Jihyo could hear the sounds of other voices on the other side of the phone line. “Sorry to cut this short-I have to go. I’ll see you in a bit?” “Yeah.” Jihyo let out a final sigh as Jeongyeon hung up. It was perfect timing too, because it wasn’t much later Nico’s bedroom door was found open and a tiny body was attacking her legs. “Hey Kiddo.” “Mama up.” Jihyo immediately complied. “Nico, you never let me finish drying your hair.” Sana sighed, coming up to them with a pink princess towel in her hands. “Wanted Mama.” Nico pouted. 

“Aren’t you cute?” Jihyo giggled. “You love mama?” Nico nodded at that, cuddling closer to Jihyo. “Did you accidentally pull her hair again when brushing it?” “I said I was sorry!” Sana let out an exasperated sigh. Jihyo couldn’t help but giggle at that, no matter how long Sana had been brushing Nico’s hair it seemed she had never quite perfected it in a way Nico liked. When she was a baby and Sana tried to brush her hair, Nico would squirm around and refuse to let Sana do anything to her hair. And that didn’t change much as she got older. “It’s okay kiddo, Mama’s got you now. Evil mommy won’t be able to pull your hair again.” Jihyo giggled, swaying Nico in her arms. “Mean.” Sana mouthed. “You love me.” Jihyo mouthed back. Her response earned her a kiss, and Jihyo couldn’t help the blush that crept up her cheeks. “Cute.” Sana giggled at her blush, finally getting the towel on Nico’s hair. She slowly finished drying it before letting it go. “All done.” Sana tells Nico with a happy smile. She finds her daughter isn’t smiling too though, instead she’s staring at their bedroom door. “No Katsu Curry?” Nico asks after a beat of silence. Jihyo was surprised Nico had been able to put it together herself, but it did save her the heartbreak of having to tell her. “I’m sorry kiddo.” Jihyo kissed Nico’s temple. “Auntie Jeongyeon is making you some kimchi fried rice though. The kind with lots of egg and not that much kimchi, like you like it.” Jihyo told her. “I want Katsu Curry.” Nico pouted. “I know sweetheart.” Sana put a hand on Nico’s back. “But Auntie Jeongyeon is making a special meal just for you, you need to go have it and let Ka-san rest, okay?” “Okay…” Their hearts both ached at how tiny and dejected Nico seemed. 

xx 

“Hanhan!” Nico was quiet the entire car ride to Jeongyeon’s restaurant, but the minute Nico spots Hansol she’s already running at them. Jihyo thinks it’s sweet Nico likes all of her cousins so much, she was so much younger than all of them Jihyo had initially been worried Nico would feel outcast from them, but all of them had formed their own special bonds with Nico. Including Hansol. “Hey Nico!” Hansol smiles at Nico, opening their arms for her to run into. Nico gave Hansol a huge hug, moving to sit in their lap while Jihyo tried to keep up with her daughter. “No Sana?” Jeongyeon asked when she spotted them. “She wanted to keep an eye on Mina.” Jihyo explained quickly. “Ah, I see.” Jeongyeon nodded. “I can start making you guys food now that you're here.” “No rush, the restaurant comes first, we don’t mind waiting.” Jihyo took a seat at the counter so she could continue her conversation with Jeongyeon. “Nah, it's cool. It’s a Tuesday night, there’s not that many people here.” Jeongyeon nodded. “Besides, I could make Kimchi fried rice in my sleep.” 

“Maybe not the way Nico likes it, you know she’s picky.”Jihyo looked over at her daughter, who was happily sitting on Hansol’s lap while they appeared to be doing their homework. “Yeah you might be right. Only a little Kimchi, if it’s too much she won’t eat it. She needs to eat vegetables, so you have to put some in. However she doesn’t like peas, but she loves carrots. She loves the egg, but she needs you to cut it for her. Use less Gochujang than what I think is already a small amount. And finally if I shape her rice like any kind of animal or object I get extra Nico points and get closer to becoming her favorite Aunt.” Jeongyeon listed off. “You remember.” Jihyo smiled. “Of course, Seoyun was the same way when she was young. Once you deal with one picky eaters' quirks it starts to be easier to deal with other ones.” Jeongyeon shrugged. “Any requests for you?” “I’ll just have what my daughter has. Mina and Sana want their usuals, but no rush. Unless you want to get rid of me.” Jihyo joked. “Nah I’m not a terrible person, it seems like being home isn’t the best thing for Nico right now.” Jeongyeon sighed, looking over at the kids. “If you ever need us to watch her- I don’t mind. You know Dahyun and I love her and Hansol absolutely adores Nico. Even Seo likes her and Seo is a little… Picky about people. I don’t blame her, people are terrible sometimes.” “Yeah, you're right people suck.” Jihyo nodded. “And I don’t know about Mina. I don’t want to pressure her into talking or anything like that, it’s not what she needs and it just might make things worse for her. She needs to talk to her therapist and we need to work through whatever she’s going through right now together, but Mina just isn’t ready to do that yet. And that’s fine, we’ve done this before. It’s just, things are different now. We have Nico now. Nico is too young to understand that her Ka-san has anxiety and depression.” Jihyo rarely said those two words out loud. Mina had been diagnosed not long after starting her job. Jihyo remembered how difficult things had been for Mina back then. She remembers coming home to Mina sobbing and convincing herself Jihyo and Sana hated her. She remembers Mina refusing to leave their bed for three days, not even eating anything no matter what they said. She was there through it all, but it did hurt to see Mina go through it all. To know the love of her life was suffering so much over something they had no control over hurt her. Mina had gotten better since then, but recovery was never linear, and this relapse was not the first she had and it wouldn’t be the last.

“How has Nico been taking everything?” Jeongyeon asked. “It’s hard to tell. She’s been having rougher days at school these past few weeks but Sana and I both don’t know if that’s Mina’s influence or if it has to do with all the crap in the air recently. Her and Mina’s rough days haven’t been lining up until today, so we think they might be separate.” Jihyo took a sip of her water while she watched her daughter. She liked watching Nico, even when she was far away from her. She had liked it since Nico was born, it was just nice to know her daughter was okay and happy at all times. 

“I’m sure Mina isn’t helping though.” Jeongyeon sighed. “Look Hyo, you know I think all three of you are amazing parents, including Mina. But it’s okay to ask for help. I’ve done it, Nayeon Unnie’s done it, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu have done it plenty of times. If you need anything we are happy to help out. What’s best for all of you is what matters, and if the best thing for Nico or Mina is some space away we would be happy to give that to them.” “Thanks Unnie.” Jihyo couldn’t stop her thoughts from running away at Jeongyeon’s statement. She had a point- but Jihyo really had no idea what was the best thing for any of them right now. “Of course, anything for you Hyo.”

xx

Sana and Mina both take the next day off of work. Mina Jihyo was expecting, but when Sana told her she had something she needed to do that meant she couldn’t go back to work, Jihyo was a bit confused. She didn’t say anything though, just giving Sana a long goodbye kiss before scooping up Nico and taking her to preschool. The pollen count was high again, and Nico had gone to school with a pink face mask and a pout underneath it. Spring was always hard for her, and it just seemed to be getting harder as she got older. “Nice haircut.” Jihyo couldn’t help but roll her eyes when she heard Nayeon say that as she sat down at their lunch table.  “Nico found scissors.” After dinner, Nico had a lot of energy from being cooped up inside all day. Normally Mina would come up with a way to redirect it, like guiding Nico through some yoga or helping her play just dance, but Mina wasn’t in the living room long enough to help. Jihyo had tried the normal Mina activities with Nico, but it seemed she lacked the magic touch her wife had. Nico was restless up until bedtime, practically doing anything she could to entertain herself while Sana and Jihyo finished their work. And anything included giving Jihyo a haircut.

“I can see that. How did you let her cut your hair though?” “I dozed off on the couch.” Jihyo added. “Classic mistake with toddlers. Never doze off around them- your going to end up with something stupid looking on your body.” Nayeon giggled. “Well don’t get too attached to it, I have an appointment to fix it between my last class ending and having to get Nico.” Jihyo fiddled with an unevenly cut strand of her hair. “Darn, I kind of like it. It makes you look stupid, but at least it’s funny.” “I hate you so much.” Jihyo muttered as she opened her lunch box. Jeongyeon had sent her home with extra food, some for Nico’s lunch tomorrow and some for the three of them, and Jihyo was honestly so thankful. “You love me.” Nayeon teased. “Speaking of Nico, do you have any more Nico pictures to show me?” “You saw her on Friday.” Jihyo rolled her eyes. “Four days is long enough for you to take more pictures. I know you did, let me see.” Nayeon pouted. “Fine, you're right.” Jihyo couldn’t stop her chuckle as she got her phone out, scrolling to her photos of Nico album. Nayeon’s interest became solely focused on the photos, which gave Jihyo a break to eat her lunch. 

“She’s so cute.” Nayeon giggled, pointing at a photo of Nico from Saturday when Mina had taken her to the farmers market with her, and Sana had taken plenty of pictures of the experience. 

“I know.” Jihyo continued to eat while Nayeon scrolled. After a while, Nayeon gave her her phone back. “What’s the green card in this picture?” Nayeon asked. “Oh her preschool does this color card thing. Like a green card means she was good all day, a yellow means she got a warning and a red means she had two warnings. To get a gold star you need five green cards. That picture was the last green card Nico got.” Jihyo explained. “We always take pictures when she gets one.” Sana had started the tradition of taking pictures every time Nico got a green card. At first they were worried it would be too many pictures, but Sana’s arguments about how they never had too many pictures of Nico was something Jihyo and Mina agreed with more every day. 

“Aw.” Nayeon cooed. “Last Monday? Did you forget?” “No. She hasn’t been getting them lately.” Jihyo sighed, taking another bite of her lunch. “She hasn’t had a great day in a while. I think it’s a combination of all the stuff in the air and Mina.” “Poor thing.” Nayeon pouted. “Hey, can I come with you to get her from preschool?” “What?” Jihyo asked, a bit confused where that was coming from. “I just- My kids are all busy tonight and Momo is working late. I know she’s having a difficult time, I think we should take her to something fun, away from Mina and Sana.” Nayeon sighed. “Okay sure.” Jihyo had to admit, the prospect of hanging out with Nayeon for a few hours did sound better than being at home. “Really?” Jihyo hadn’t hung out with Nayeon alone in a while, and she had to be honest it did sound nice. Nico would probably love it, Nayeon always spoiled her beyond belief. Plus, even if she pretended she didn’t, she did enjoy her time with Nayeon.

“Yeah. Nico will be really happy to see you.” Jihyo smiled softly at the thought of Nico smiling. She had Sana’s smile, it was so big and bright and it made Jihyo happy just thinking about it. “Yay. Thanks Hyo.” Jihyo thought she should maybe be the one thanking Nayeon. xx 

“Hey kiddo.” Nico is curled up in a little ball again when Jihyo goes to get her.

“Mama.” Nico uncurled herself to hold her arms out for Jihyo. Jihyo didn’t say anything, holding her tightly. “Hey Ms.Park, can I talk to you?” Jihyo noticed how Nico shifted closer to her when her teacher asked her that. “Sure.” Jihyo nodded, shifting Nico to one arm. Once glance towards the card chart hanging in the back of the classroom told her what this was going to be about. “We had another hard day today, Nico had a bit of a meltdown during her lunch and she didn’t end up eating most of her lunch.” Jihyo sighed at that, holding her daughter closer. “Alright, thank you for letting me know. I’ll talk about this with her at home.” Jihyo nodded, putting a free hand on Nico’s back. “Sure.” Nico’s teacher nodded. “Have a good night Nico-ya, see you tomorrow.” “Nico sweetie can you say it back?” Jihyo asked her daughter. “See you tomorrow.” Nico pouted, tightening her grip on Jihyo. JIhyo waved as she took Nico outside. “I have a surprise for you kiddo.” Jihyo whispered to Nico. “Really?” Nico asked. “Yup.” Jihyo waved for Nayeon to come over once they were outside. “Why don’t you look?” “Auntie Nayeon!” Nico screamed in excitement, squirming in Jihyo’s arms when she saw her Aunt. “Mama Auntie- Auntie Na-Nayeon!” Nico was interrupted when she started coughing. Jihyo immediately took action, rubbing Nico’s back and trying to get her to calm down enough to not have an asthma attack. “Hey Nico.” Nayeon smiled at Nico, seeing the way Jihyo instinctively went to calm Nico down. “I missed you too sweetheart. But don’t get too excited, I do want to hang out with my favorite little girl.” Nico calmed down after a bit, taking a few deep breaths and holding her arms out for Nayeon. Nayeon happily took her, raining a kiss on Nico’s cheek. “How was your day princess?” Sometimes Jihyo couldn’t help but admire how good Nayeon was with Nico. Nayeon had always had a way with kids, but particularly a way with Nico. There were days when Nico would get really frustrated with her moms, and it was usually due to the restrictions they had to put on her due to her asthma, and on those days it really was Auntie Nayeon to the rescue. If they so much as mentioned to Nayeon that Nico was upset she would be there immediately with Nico’s favorite candy and asking her to have a chat with her. They never eavesdropped, but Nico always seemed to forgive them after that. Sana referred to it as Nayeon’s magic touch. “Wanted to play outside.” Nico pouted. “I know, and I’m sorry. The air isn’t something any of us can control, but hopefully you can play outside again soon. Until then, we can do lots of fun stuff inside.” Nayeon held Nico closer to her, swaying her in her arms a bit. “Like what?” Nico asked. “You’ll see.” Nayeon smirked at Jihyo, who was just left a little confused at what the hell Nayeon was planning.

xx 

Jihyo hadn’t seen Nico smile as brightly as she did when Nayeon opened the door to the Children’s museum in weeks. And honestly, it made Jihyo so happy. Nico deserved it. It wasn’t her fault the air quality was bad or that her Ka-san was having a rough time, and honestly Jihyo was sad how much all of it had been affecting Nico. So when she looked so happy, practically pulling on Nayeon’s arm as she led them inside. There weren’t many people there, on account of it being a Tuesday afternoon, but that seemed to excite Nico even more. 

Once they were inside, Nico was practically bouncing with excitement. She had only been there once before, on a preschool field trip Mina had chaperoned for. Nico had an asthma attack during lunch and had to be brought home, something she was not happy about. Jihyo remembered coming home to Nico being a sobbing mess. She was curled up in their bed, looking tiny beneath their sheets as she sobbed at how unfair she was that she had to leave early. Jihyo remembers Nico refusing to even eat dinner that night, too upset to eat anything. They were eventually able to coax her into eating when Mina had made her Katsu Curry, but it had taken a while to get there. Jihyo ends up having a lot of fun with Nayeon and her daughter. It had been a while since they hung out like this, and honestly she didn’t realize how much she missed spending time with Nayeon. Nayeon was good with Nico, yes, but she was also good with Jihyo too. Jihyo really didn’t give her enough credit, hanging out with Nayeon was the lightest she had felt in days. The children’s museum puts Nico in a much better mood, and she’s practically skipping as she holds Nayeon’s hand when they leave. 

“Did you have fun baby?” Nayeon giggled. “Yeah yeah! Did you see the ball?” Nico had played with marbles for a good portion of their time there. They had a whole display where kids could build their own marble ramps and that had been really exciting for Nico. They weren’t able to stay for too long, since they closed not long after they got there, but Nico seemed like she had a lot of fun during her time there. 

“Yeah I did. You did so well!” Nico’s structure only lasted a few seconds, considering the fact three year olds weren’t the best architects in the world, but when Jihyo helped her it stayed up for a lot longer. Nayeon had “competed” against them, trying to make a cooler structure, but in the end Nico had deemed her and Jihyo the winners and Nayeon happily admitted defeat. “You and your mama are basically unstoppable.” “Mama we’re un-un-un-”

“Unstoppable. It means we can’t be stopped because we are too good.” Jihyo reached down and picked her daughter up, kissing her cheek. Nico absolutely loved affection, Jihyo and Mina both blamed it on the fact Sana had always held a hand on her when she was a baby. No matter who was holding her, Sana liked keeping at least one hand on Nico. Sometimes that meant holding her little hand, others it meant holding her little foot, but no matter what Sana liked to be touching her in some ways at all times. “Yeah Untoptable!” Jihyo giggled at Nico’s mispronunciation. 

“Unstoppable.” Jihyo corrected, adjusting Nico in her arms. “Un-stop-able?” Nico sounded out.

“Yup, good job princess.” Jihyo kissed Nico’s cheek. “Hey Unnie, do you want to grab dinner with us?” “Oh I was just about to ask if you mind me coming.” Nayeon smiled, taking her phone out of her pocket and glancing at it for a second before putting it away. “Kazumi wants me to pick something up for her, but she’ll eat almost anything.” “Zumi Unnie come?” Nico asked, turning to Nayeon excitedly. “Sorry kiddo, she’s got a big test tomorrow so she’s at home studying.” “Like Mama’s students?”

“They don’t have a big test tomorrow baby, theirs is next week, but yes it’s the same idea.” Jihyo clarified. “Oh.” Nico sunk into Jihyo’s arms a bit, and Jihyo could tell her energy was fading fast. “What do you want for dinner Nico?” Nayeon turned to Nico and asked. “Mm… Fish.” “Fish?” Nayeon giggled at the answer, knowing that could mean a thousand things. “Like sushi, or poke, or what?” “Poke?” Nico repeated the word. “Have you never had it?” “Mina has made it for her at home, but she’s never been to a restaurant.” Jihyo explained. “She might like it though, it sounds like there’s a lot of Nico friendly options. She didn’t finish her lunch so I’m sure she’s pretty hungry, so poke sounds great.” “Great, Kazumi loves poke. Okay, let’s go!” Nico threw her fist up with Nayeon and Jihyo narrowly avoided getting hit in the face. She didn’t mind though, the amount of times her baby had accidentally hit her was so great she barely even felt it anymore. Jihyo drove to the poke place by Nayeon’s house, Nayeon keeping Nico entertained in the back by asking her things about the museum. “You had a lot of fun huh?” Nayeon giggled after Nico had, with almost all of the vocabulary she had, expressed to Nayeon how much fun she had with her.

“Mm-hum!” Nico hummed. “I want to go back.” “I’m sure we could go back.” Jihyo nodded. “We could invite Ka-san and Mommy next time, I’m sure they would love to come.” “Ka-san?” Nico asked hesitantly. “Ka-san better?” “She will be soon. When Ka-san is all better, we can all go, how does that sound?” “Yes!” xx 

Nayeon helps Nico pick out everything she wants, but the decision making process is difficult for Nico. She was a weirdly picky eater, that’s how Jihyo saw it. She liked sushi, but only if it was salmon. She absolutely loved crab but it couldn’t be spicy. She liked pineapples and edamame beans and masago, but refused to even think about putting any other vegetable in hers. “Baby you like carrots.” Jihyo tried to argue with Nico. “Nu-uh. Look weird.” Jihyo wanted to roll her eyes. Nico was so weird about food. She wasn’t even the same about it everyday, there were some days where she could be extra picky. “Okay.” Jihyo sighed. “Do you want anything else, look, they have cucumbers.” Jihyo pointed out. “Yeah.” Nico nodded excitedly. Jihyo was honestly impressed by how much Nico was saying yes to. But she wasn’t going to complain, she found with her picky eater of a daughter taking small victories was always a good idea. She would have to get a picture for Mina of Nico’s self picked out meal. She was always the one who worried about their daughter’s eating the most. Once they were done paying, Nayeon went to get them some napkins while Jihyo took a picture. “For Ka-san?” Nico asked after Jihyo had taken a picture of her. “Yeah, Ka-san really likes poke so I’m sure she will be happy to see you eating it.” Jihyo smiled. “Bring Ka-san some?” Nico asked with pleading eyes. “Okay sure. I’ll ask Mommy if she wants any too and we can go get it after we eat.” Jihyo smiled at Nico. “Now.” “Now?” Jihyo asked, Nico nodding. JIhyo giggled at her, but complied, taking her phone out and dialing Sana, putting her phone on speaker and putting it in the middle of the table. “Mommy!” Nico screamed when Sana answered. “Nico?” Jihyo could immediately tell something was wrong from Sana’s tone. “Mommy mommy Auntie Nayeon is here!” Nico and Sana had always been really close, and to be honest Jihyo couldn’t remember the last time Sana hadn’t tagged along to pick Nico up from school, so she was sure it was a bit odd for Nico to not have Sana here. “Oh yeah?” Jihyo hated how forced it felt. “Uh-hum, we got poke!” “Sounds fun.” Sana answered. “Here kiddo let mama talk to mommy for a sec, I’ll ask her if she wants poke okay?” Jihyo asked, knowing something was wrong with Sana. Nico nodded and once Nayeon was back over at their table Jihyo took her phone and went outside. “Hey Satang, it’s just me.” Jihyo muttered. “What’s wrong baby?” “N-Nothings wrong.” Jihyo could tell from Sana’s sniffle she was lying.

“Baby… Please. Between you and Mina I’m just about to die from worry. You don’t have to tell me, but I’m worried about both of you. Is this about Mina? Did she say anything to you?” “No-god no.” Sana sniffled. “It’s just- I- Hyo, my parents- they are here.” “At our house?” Pure panic filled Jihyo at Sana’s statement. “No-no.” Sana took a deep breath. “In Seoul. They are here.” Jihyo had never been  more panicked in her entire life. She had never met Sana’s parents, but she didn't need to to know she hated them. And to know that things were about to get worse.

#twice #misahyo #park jihyo #minatozaki sana #myoui mina #nico #misahyo au #nico is baby :/

[some-cookie-crumbz]

h,,,huwumi,,,kiss in the snow,,, add fan kiddos if you wanna uwu

Cute domestic Huwumi fluff??? On MY tumblr dot com blog??? As it should be! 

Days where Keigo was off to stay with the kids were some of Fuyumi’s favorites. The twins were going to be seven soon enough and spent a good majority of their days in school, and Isamu had officially started preschool, but Hibari had just hit two years old three weeks prior. When a sitter was needed, Rei was always excited and eager to offer to take any or all of her grandchildren. And, while less enthusiastic, Enji could be relied on when necessary. But none of that was the same as the thought of her husband doting on their children. There was something about knowing that Keigo would be there all day with Hibari and then picking the boys up once they were done with their days that brought her a sense of peace and put an extra pep in her step.

It was why she walked in the door with a smile, though it faltered slightly at how quiet the house was.

She had stayed a little bit after to finish some grading, knowing that it would be a good few hours between dinner and bedtime routine before she could resume, but had anticipated the usual enthusiasm levels. The twins were always eager to play some mischievous and rowdy game the second their homework was completed and Isamu flocked to her as soon as she was in sight. “Keigo? Kids?” she called out as she put her shoes away and swapped into her slippers.

After a moment she heard loud, high-pitched squeals coming from the other side of the house. She was quick to make the trek to examine, seeing the door to the backyard thrown wide open, cold gusts starting to creep in. While a full-fledged storm was far from kicking up, a light snowfall had started up. In the doorway was a bundled mound of blankets. She couldn’t help but smile as she reached out and gently pushed at the top of the bundle, revealing a mess of dark red hair and startled gold eyes. “Oh, Mom! Welcome home!” Reo said, shifting to lean closer as she moved to kneel and press a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m a little surprised you’re this close to the outside, hun,” she mused. Reo had inherited a stronger variant of Fuyumi’s ice Quirk - deemed Dry Ice by their family pediatrician - but had a ridiculous aversion to the cold. It wasn’t a situation of him lacking a resistance to it, either. He had a higher resistance to the cold as was the norm for temperature based Quirks like that. Somehow, someway, her eldest son had just decided that snow wasn’t his speed. Which she understood and respected, but this left her a bit baffled.

“I was helping Dad get Hibi dressed for the snow and then I wa-Bwah!” His explanation was cut off as a snowball came flying out of nowhere, pegging him straight in the face. He scrambled to wipe the flakes from his face and off his blanket cocoon. "KAITO!" he shrieked.

His blonde haired twin stood out in the yard, pointing with one gloved hand while the other arm was wrapped around his own stomach, cackling like mad. "Holy cow! I got you right in the face! Best day of my life!"

"So you've chosen violence... Very well! RrraaAAAHHHH!" And with that battle cry, Reo came scrambling out from his blankets and charged for his brother. Fuyumi briefly considered chiding him for leaving his blankets in the doorway and charging out without a proper coat but opted against it. Instead, she moved the blankets further inside, stepped out herself and closed the door behind her.

She spotted Keigo over by the large oak tree in the corner, his back facing her, Hibari's bright pink wing mittens just barely visible over his left forearm and Isamu hovering in the air just beside his father. While he wasn't an expert yet, Isamu's wings were large enough for him to hoist himself into the air for a good but short bit. She moved along to join them, briefly glancing over to watch as the twins tussled about in the snow a few feet away. "Birb! Dada, birb!" Hibari's voice cried in delight and wonder, quiet chirps coming from where she pointed.

"There's a lil birdie in there, Daddy!" Isamu gasped in quiet awe, fluttering up just a bit more to get a better look.

"That's right, buddy! It's a little sparrow. They're wintery birds, just like Hibi," Keigo agreed, tilting his head down to nuzzle his cheek affectionately against the toddler’s in his arms. Fuyumi giggled at the excited squeals he got for that.

"That's part of why Daddy calls Hibari his little sparrow," she chimed in, grinning wider when they turned to face her.

"Mommy!" Isamu gasped. He dropped back on to his feet and rushed over, arms looping around her waist as best they could and burrowing into her. "I missed you, Mommy."

She smiled and shifted to pick him up, settling him on her hip. "I missed you, too, Isa," She pressed a kiss to his forehead before turning her attention to Keigo.

“Hey,” he hummed, stepping closer to pull her close and kiss her. She hummed happily and kissed back eagerly, letting one hand slide up along the shoulder of his coat. When they pulled back, she blinked to dislodge a few snowflakes that had snuck past her glasses. “How was your day?”

“It was fine. Glad to be home, though,” she mused, leaning forward to give him another quick peck. She beamed when she saw how his feathers ruffled a bit from the quick affection. Even after years of marriage and four children, she still found how flustered he’d get to be achingly endearing. "Hibari's wings doing better today?"

He nodded and gently bopped his hip to bounce the tot, causing her to giggle. "They're still pretty sensitive but it’s still been going down. Today the sensitivity waned enough for me to be able to touch them gently, and she seems to be kinda starting to gain more mobility over them. Should probably be able to start doing those exercises the specialist was talking about in another couple of weeks," he hummed, chuckling as Hibari reached out to grab at a snowflake that drifted by. “Since she was in higher spirits today, I figured a little time in the yard would be fine, get her some fresh air. Little miss isn’t exactly fit to be cooped up all day.”

Fuyumi smiled as she reached out a hand to tuck a loose strand of hair back under Hibari’s hat. “That’s true. She’s such a curious baby bird, isn’t she?” she mused. Hibari, despite being nearly two, had already proven that her curiosity was vast. So many times they’d had to stop her from getting into somewhere or something she shouldn’t be, eager to point and let out a little questioning noises.

Hibari giggled at the affection before perking up and glancing over Keigo’s shoulder to watch as Reo flipped Kaito over his shoulder, clearly intending to throw him into a nearby snowman, only to be halted by a small flurry of red feathers swarming them. “Boys, keep the rough housing down. We don’t need any emergency room trips tonight,” Keigo said patiently. His feathers shifted to grab Kaito and put him back on his feet properly. 

Reo huffed. “He started it! I wasn’t doing anything and he threw a snowball at me!” he yelped, pointing at his twin.

“Kaito, you know how Reo feels about the cold. Be respectful,” Fuyumi chirped in.

Reo flashed a smugly satisfied grin at his twin, who responded in turn with a raspberry. “I’m going inside and crawling back into my blankets! And I’m not coming out until it’s time for donburi!” With that announcement and another small huff, he began marching his shoe-less self back inside, swiping at his crimson locks to dislodge some of the settling snowflakes.

“Coward!” Kaito called after him, trying to toss another handful of snow at him but instead only succeeding in slipping. He would have hit the ground if Keigo’s feathers hadn’t been lingering about, just in case.

“Kai so silly!” Hibari giggled, peering up at her parents.

“Yes, he is,” Fuyumi hummed before looking back over to Keigo. “So donburi tonight?”

“Ah, yeah. I wanted to do something that shouldn’t take me too long to prepare and would be warm, considering the kids were all mostly outside,” he explained. A gust of wind picked up around them, causing one of Keigo's wings to shift and curl around Hibari to protect her better.

She still visibly shuddered and pushed closer to him. "'S bbbbrrrrrr!" she squeaked.

"It's very bbbrrrr, sparrow. Let's all get inside and I'll make some warm, yummy dinner for us all," he said. He glanced over at Kaito, who was reaching again for a handful of snow, but dropped it when he realized he was being watched. Keigo slowly quirked an eyebrow in amusement as their second oldest started the slog to the patio, clapping his hands together to remove the remaining bits of snow from his mittens. “Thanks for making a better choice there, buddy.”

Kaito grumbled something in response as he marched his way up, then shrieked when Reo suddenly leapt out from around the corner, grabbing his brother and starting to drag him further in. Hibari gasped before starting to squirm. “Daddy, down! Gotta help Kai!” she squeaked frantically. Fuyumi giggled as Keigo set her down, watching as she waddled as fast as she could through the snow to follow after her two oldest brothers. “Reo meanie! Stop!”

Isamu whined quietly in Fuyumi’s hold before shifting himself. “You want me to let you down, sweet pea?” she asked.

“Wanna make sure Hibi doesn’t hurt her wingies,” he mumbled, carefully moving with her to stand on his own. “Reo-Nii and Kaito-Nii play too rough sometimes.”

Keigo smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair affectionately. “You’re a great big brother, you know? Looking after your little sister like that,” he praised. Fuyumi felt her heart skip at the shy smile he gave his Dad in return, little feathers fluffing up a bit, expression and stance near identical to her husband’s just a few minutes before. Isamu was the most reserved of their children, seeming to take quite a lot more from Fuyumi, Rei and Shoto, but there were little ticks that were so much his father’s it always lifted her heart.

“Thank you,” Isamu chirped quietly before perking up at a loud squeal from inside. They weren’t sure which one of his siblings it was making the sound, but he was following after them with one good flap from his wings. “Y-You guys, hold on! We gotta get our snow stuffs off first!”

She watched as he disappeared inside too before turning to look at Keigo, watching him disappear with a fond look in his eyes. “They’re really great kids, aren’t they?” he asked, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

She smiled wider and reached up to set both her hands on his shoulders, turning him to face her fully. “I think we’re doing a pretty good job,” she hummed, leaning up to kiss him again as yet another frigid gust whipped around them. He looped one of his arms securely around her waist as he deepened the kiss, one hand coming up to gently stroke her cheek. When they pulled apart after a second she giggled and indicated towards the patio with a tilt of her head. “Shall we?”

“Always,” he purred back, flashing her a grin that was sincere and warm, chasing off the winter chill much better than her coat certainly did.

#crumbles grumbles #Huwumi #my fics #This was a fun one to write! #I haven't done too much with the family dynamic as a whole #So I wanted to show that a bit #Since I think it's fun

[gooobert]

YOUR DOMESTIC FELIX HEADCANONS. HAND EM OVER

DOMESTIC????? ;)

Alright!! SO I'll try to keep these hcs related to a unisex S/O (so you can insert any character in, like male/female [his gf, or any male/female surv]). This excludes killer dynamics bcos killer x surv just. *vomits*

But that's just my opinion ;))) when it comes to domestic Felix...

I'll take it in a couple of spins, all of which will focus on an 'after/escape The Entity' type of au. If you're also interested in a version that includes a general "pre-Entity" tidbit, I'd be more than happy to provide!! Just ask!!

In Felix's case, it's going to be something like his disappearance at Dyer Island being for a potential 1-3 years (depending on the life of this game going forward), so it's safe to assume that in all of these headcanons, his girlfriend is going to have moved on with her life, especially in regards to care for his now-alive child. You can still insert her into the headcanons if you wish, but realistically (imo), they would be separated.

Felix is actually more than understanding when it comes to his girlfriend moving on - the disappearance was something of a red flag, but authorities attributed it to a workplace accident/stress, or potentially even commitment issues - the restoration project along with the news of being a father isn’t a foreign recipe for a partner just up and disappearing. Felix's girlfriend wasn't exactly aware of his Imperiatti past - which can be summed up by the organization's secrecy, or Felix's repression of his former trauma - she never connected the dots when it came to his familiar clientele. She moved on, had their child, and even began seeing another man. Felix couldn't blame her, especially with how difficult it is to be a single parent. He feels a strong sense of empathy when it comes to that topic, especially when it was just him and his mom after his father’s disappearance.

It's not exactly clear - the whereabouts of Felix's mom, in present time - but I like to assume that he would move back into his former home, the Richter manor, and try to piece his old life back together again. He is able to regain partial custody of his child, and he is introduced to... his daughter. Before The Entity, Felix initially hoped for a son, so he could be the exact father figure he desperately needed when growing up (after all, he spent plenty of time in the realm thinking about how he would be the perfect model for his “son”), but he wouldn’t trade her for the world. It comes almost as a shock when his daughter prefers to play with more “masculine” toys and gets into a lot of the hobbies he enjoyed as a kid - especially reading/storytelling. She’s not exactly old enough to read books on her own, but Felix won’t hear the end of it unless she gets her nightly bedtime story. He fabricates fables and tales about people he met “from work,” and their various trips to foreign and unfamiliar realms. He can’t help but see the same face of wonder and skepticism that he used to have, just like when his father told him similar stories in his youth.

Felix also has this taut outlook and anxiety when it comes to raising his kid. Anybody is expected to be stressed over their first/only child, but Felix’s former worries and lack of social development drives him to be a parent that wants to teach his kid how to be independent as soon as possible; so she could have all the skills she needs when she’s older. He was privileged enough to live in a household where he never needed to cook, clean, or handle anything financial when he was growing up - everything was done by either the manor’s maids or his parents. Knowing the fear and self-doubt he had back in his early 20s, he is super serious about being there for his daughter. His other half may think he’s being a bit dramatic and a “helicopter parent” with how stressed he is, but he just wants to make sure she can hold her own in case an unfortunate circumstance ever did occur - it was an all-too-familiar threat for Felix when he was growing up; especially when he still desires to set an example for his late father.

The times when the German architect does “calm down,” he does his best to be there for his daughter. He’s got a nasty habit of spoiling her and his loved ones with gifts, despite being conscious about his wealth. Splurging on such activities/gifts gives Felix a sense of relief, where he can see his little girl raised with an innocent, positive childhood. One would assume he might be even jealous over her adolescence, but he’s just thankful he could be there physically and emotionally for his kid, and stop the painful cycle from ever reaching her. As much as Felix wishes he had his dad in his life to guide him, he takes it as a learning experience that made him stronger, and more deliberate and genuine with his parental responsibilities.

His parental approach is more about empathy and reasoning, and prefers to treat his little girl as a smaller adult rather than just a kid - he tries to soothe any of her anxieties about friends and school, but without sheltering her from the reality of the world once she’s old enough. He won’t admit it, but having her feel brave enough to confide in him with her personal issues/thoughts is his favorite part about being a father. He might have lost his father at a young age, but at least he can act as a mentor to his own child. It reminds him he’s doing the “right thing,” and this bond was what he dreamed of having in his youth. He can’t help but feel sentimental!

The Entity left Felix with more questions than answers, and as much as he wants to find out the mystery behind his dad, he decided that it was time to move on. The timeless years spent in The Fog gave him severe trauma, and he’s lucky he was able to resume a relatively normal life - a second chance to be there for his daughter and his S/O. He went into the realm to voluntarily search for his father, and he wasn’t able to uncover much during his time spent there. His partner may support him in his grief, but he’s come to understand that his feelings of loss may simply never go away - he’s just going to have to live with them. For him, his loss still feels like a fresh wound, but it’s not going to get any better than it is, currently. Felix wouldn’t consider himself hopeless, but he’s left with a sense of acceptance. He needs to be there for his new family, and he would rather be focusing on the domestic chapter in this new part of his life than reminiscing on the past. He did it long enough with The Pariahs before they disbanded, and he’d rather learn to live more in the present than caught up in the past.

If he doesn’t have custody over his kid, Felix is spending a majority of his time at work, where Lauren gladly takes him back into their architectural firm. He’s left with a lot of trauma from the trials, though, so it’s not unusual if he can’t make a business meeting or show up physically to work. He still carries his occupational responsibilities, but there’s just certain aspects of his old life that he could never get acclimated to doing again. He’s afraid of turbulence (the shaking and rumbling of the plane is too similar to the endgame collapse) and if he NEEDS to be at a business meeting/networking event, he has to leave early since the drive, of course, takes a lot longer than a flight.

When he is able to find some time alone with his other half and not feel any work pressure, they like to treat themselves to a vacation getaway! Even if it’s for a weekend, he takes holidays depending on if they need time to release some energy by doing something strenuous (skiing in the Alps) or maybe unwinding with something romantic or a new experience (wine/artisan goods). Felix isn’t the best with his words, and so he likes to show PDA to his partner when they have time together. Rather than asking, he simply does - a peck on the forehead when he gets ready in the morning, adjusting the clothing/jewelry on his spouse, or even just mindlessly rubbing/massaging his hands on their back. He knows how it feels to be touch-starved, and likes to make it a conscious effort to show his love through constant reassurances when his words fail.

#WHERE DID MY MOTIVATION GO #as soon as i asked for messages in my inbox i just :)))) #motivation gone :))) #but i hope these are good!!! #AND IN CHARACTER!!!!! #ty for the ask bby ilysm #dbd #dbd headcanons #felix richter #ask

[inawickedlittletown]

Can I Be Close To You

Summary: Buck doesn't have a "covid crush", which doesn't mean he isn't hiding something. A look inside Buck's head during 4.01 and 4.02. 

Words: 3,249

Notes: Cannot escape writing fic, apparently. So here we are. Obviously there be spoilers here for the aired episodes. This fic is pre-relationship/pre-buddie. Title from Bloom by The Paper Kites. Enjoy. 

Read on Ao3

-

The one thing that Buck was grateful for was that Chimney wasn’t teasing him about his “covid crush” outside of the apartment. It was something he only ever brought up when Maddie called or whenever Buck made the mistake of being too loud or using his phone or laptop outside of his bedroom when Chim was around. Chimney of course also noticed whenever Buck got alerts or calls on his phone that had him rushing away. Buck didn’t really care about the teasing. He did care that no one find out why he was being so secretive. It was just easier to be teased about something that wasn’t true, than to be teased for what was true. 

The problem was that they were in the middle of a global crisis. A pandemic the likes of which hadn’t been seen for about a hundred years. It was a lot. In March when everything started to go wrong it had been easy to convince himself and everyone else that it would be over fast. That lockdown would work and in a few weeks or a few months everything would go back to normal. Hen and Bobby had been the firsts to question that logic because they only expected things to get worse. Buck really hated when they were right. Of course, nothing was normal anymore. 

Hen was the one to bring up concerns about them doing their jobs during the pandemic and bringing the virus home to their families. Between all her work to put her in the path of becoming a doctor, and being an amazing paramedic to boot, Hen was the first to start pushing them on the road to taking extra caution. Her concern for her family and for the families of the others was real and unfortunately necessary. 

“I don’t want to stop working. I want to help people and we are more important than ever right now,” Hen had put it into words back then. It was everything they were all feeling. 

Buck had lost count of the number of calls that made them practically just collectors of the dead or dying. Not just that but they all knew first responders that had been personally affected by Covid-19 and it wasn’t just them but their families too. Buck was the only one with no one back at his apartment waiting for him. That’s what gave him the idea. 

“You can come stay with me if that makes you feel better,” he offered. 

Hen hadn’t hesitated for long. She and Karen had had a long conversation about it and before Buck knew it he had Hen and then Chimney living with him. It was nice. It made it easier to bury all the anxiety and worry that had been clawing at him with every article or video or news report that he consumed. His living room had been taken over by an aerobed for Hen while Chim took the sofa. 

Eddie showed up a week after Hen and Chim with a sleeping bag under his arm. 

“I have Carla staying with Christopher. It seemed — it’s for the better, you know? Can I — is there room for one more?” 

In reality, Buck’s apartment wasn’t all that big, but Buck wasn’t going to turn away his best friend. So, Buck just welcomed him in. And for a while, despite everything going on in the world, things were okay. Buck wasn’t freaking out with every new report on the rise in cases and the rise in the dead and how the curve wasn’t flattening and yet the intrusive thoughts nevertheless showed up in his head and late at night when everyone else was sleeping his phone was right there with more information and facts and figures that made it hard to imagine that the world would ever be set to rights. 

Eddie was the first to notice that Buck wasn’t getting a lot of sleep. It became a whole thing with Eddie and Hen and Chim feeling like they were being imposing and Buck not being able to voice that it wasn’t them, but everything else. Somehow, he managed to convince them that they weren’t in his way. 

Buck had tried to reach out to Frank, but he was overwhelmed with clients and all of them of the first responder persuasion. Buck had felt weird asking the department to help him find someone else to talk to and it was only partially to do with the time he slept with his therapist and certainly more to do with how Buck knew other first responders probably needed the help more than he did. In other firehouses, some firefighters and paramedics had succumbed to the virus. Catching it was the newest hazard of the job. Frank did him the favor of sending him a few names. At first, Buck figured it wasn’t that important. So, he put it off. 

He focused on being present. In sitting with Chim while they video called Maddie and in jumping in to say hello to Denny, Nia, and Karen and in reading a bedtime story here or there to Christopher when Eddie wasn’t available and even when he was, the two of them sitting in the kitchen or up in Buck’s room, shoulders pressed together. He tried not to watch the news, and he tried not to keep looking at the numbers. 

Pretending wasn’t easy, but after two nights of Eddie catching him up at 3am eyes glued to his phone, Eddie made a point of taking his phone away at night. And then, instead of sleeping down on the first floor, Eddie moved up to the loft on the small camping mat and sleeping bag. 

He and Eddie talked until they drifted off, and sometimes it felt better to not be able to see Eddie and to stare out in the shadowed ceiling. Talking to Eddie made it easier to let go of the day, to not let his mind wander and come up with more of the world’s problems to worry about. 

So, Buck didn’t think about therapy. Not while he had Eddie near him at night keeping him distracted and willing to stay up until late discussing nothing at all. Buck couldn’t imagine Chim or Hen bothering to do that for him. Rarely, it did happen that Eddie was the one wrung out and needing a conversation. He missed Christopher too much or something they’d seen at work had been just a little too close to home. They were there for each other and all of it just worked. 

Of course, that was when Hen decided that it was time she go back home. She missed her kids too much. She missed her wife too much. Eddie didn’t last more than a few days after Hen’s decision as if Hen making that first move made it okay. Buck didn’t blame him, not with the way that Buck missed Christopher which just meant that it was twice as bad for Eddie. And once they were gone and there was just he and Chimney left, Buck found himself falling into old habits. Chimney wasn’t as much of a distraction especially when he spent so much of his time talking to Maddie or reading parenting books, and because Chimney didn’t turn off the news like Eddie or Hen would. 

Being in his room alone at night without anything to keep his mind occupied and missing Eddie’s voice and the way that Buck could calm himself to the sound of his breathing brought Buck to a breaking point. He needed help. 

Dr. Copeland was the second therapist he had a video call with. She was calm and friendly and she didn’t push him to talk. It felt okay to share his concerns with her in a way that he couldn’t say out loud to everyone in his life. Buck didn’t know if it was somehow easier because she was someone that didn’t know him in real life, or if it had something to do with how Buck could tell that she cared and wanted to help, but he found himself opening up. Dr. Copeland didn’t push, but she did give him insight. She made him aware of the ways that he was being unhealthy about the pandemic. 

Chimney picked up at once that Buck was keeping a secret. It took him a little longer to figure out that Buck was talking to someone through a screen and in the same breath to assume that it was some woman that Buck started dating. It did make Buck wonder if people were actually doing that — the whole dating through skype or zoom or facetime. Buck didn’t try to correct him or to be too bothered by Chim teasing him. He didn’t even worry too much once Maddie found out because Maddie wasn’t there in front of him to get the whole thing out of him. So the “covid crush” gave him an excuse to not tell them the truth. Dr. Copeland kept telling him he should tell them how he felt, but Buck didn’t want that burden on his friends and family when the world itself seemed to want to crush them. And either way, he’d been feeling a lot better about everything. He wore his mask and he followed protocols, and he didn’t allow himself to think in “what ifs”. 

Emergencies were his job. He better than most knew the quick turn that things could take for the worse. But as Dr. Copeland reminded him, fear couldn’t rule his life even if there was a lot to be afraid of. And it wasn’t the virus that Buck feared, it was loss. Losing his friends and losing his family and being incapable of changing anything. He was, thus, hyper alert. About the pandemic, and about anything else that might prompt worry. Dr. Copeland thought that too much information could be harmful to his mental health, but for Buck knowing facts and doing research kept him from spiralling. 

It was Dr. Copeland that made the connection to Buck’s past trauma and realized how likely it was that his worry stemmed from that — from the truck falling on his leg and the tsunami and perhaps even more than that, other parts of his life that he retained and that still bothered him on a deep level. She asked him how much he hid away and didn’t deal with — how much he coped with by researching and by using facts against worry. It made Buck think. 

Then, the micro-quakes happened. And Buck got all the alerts, he read up on the dam and he pictured all that could go wrong. 

Worrying didn’t mean panicking for him. Buck was cool under pressure, he was good at his job. Most of the problems came after when he considered what might have happened and also how many hadn’t made it out alive. Not because of the virus. But because of a disaster. But by the end of the day, Chimney had finally moved out and Buck had a new roommate in Albert, and after everything that happened in the day, Buck figured that he maybe needed to take his own advice and realize that he couldn’t let fear hold him back. 

So when his next therapy session came up, he admitted it to Dr. Copeland. Confirmed what she’d been telling him about himself. He hid his true feelings. He hid away behind platitudes and facts and letting things go because it was easier to move forward than to linger and make things weird with his friends and with his family. Examining that fully meant talking about the past and Dr. Copeland, as gentle as she was in letting him lead the conversation, asked the kind of questions that weren’t easy to answer. 

She pressed him about why he feared sharing his feelings and why he felt he had a need to keep so much to himself and Buck was cognizant enough to realize it was his fear of being alone. 

“I just...I don’t think they get it,” Buck said. “I don’t think they see it. At the beginning of this whole thing — the pandemic — they all had someone. My sister is pregnant and she had just moved in with her boyfriend and his brother. Hen has her wife and kids. Bobby has Athena and their kids. Eddie, he has Christopher. And the reason I even have Albert here right now is that he rather not be around my sister and her boyfriend now they’re finally together again. I’m alone. I’m always alone.”

“But you aren’t,” Dr. Copeland insisted. “You have people. Your team, your sister. Evan, you are not alone. It may feel like you are, but that just isn’t true. I haven’t known you very long, but the way you talk about your team and your sister it is clear you have a support team. That is why I’m encouraging you to speak with them and share your worry and share even this — that you are getting help and looking at things with a new perspective.” 

It was easier to hear it told to him that to do something like admit to Maddie that he was so full of issues that he actually needed therapy. Of course, Maddie herself had gone through a long bout of therapy after Doug and yet compared to that, Buck didn’t feel like he was all that messed up. 

“I get what you’re saying. I do. I just...it doesn’t feel like it. And I don’t want to burden them with more just because I’m feeling left behind or just…”

“And that brings us back to you hiding your true feelings,” Dr. Copeland said. “Is there even one person you feel comfortable talking to about this. Your sister perhaps.”

Buck shook his head at once. “No. No. I couldn’t bother Maddie. She has enough on her plate.” 

But his mind went to Eddie. Eddie had noticed he wasn’t doing well. Eddie had moved to sleep on Buck’s floor and then talked to him until he fell asleep. And since going back home to Christopher it wasn’t like Eddie had forgotten about Buck, because when he had the time sometimes he would call Buck and they would talk over the phone and it had brought him back to those nights. At work neither of them brought that up, they just worked as seamlessly as ever. 

“I don’t want to pressure you, Evan. You’re doing so well and admitting and realizing that you’re holding yourself back is an amazing place to be. I just know that you’ll feel even better once you start sharing your feelings or working through them.” 

Dr. Copeland always gave him plenty to think about. And he considered the notion of coming clean to someone — to Eddie — and maybe getting other things off his chest. His fears about the pandemic, the things about his parents that had made them horrible parents to him and Maddie both, how Buck had so many things about himself that he left unacknowledged, and the loneliness. Eddie wasn’t exactly good with emotions either, but he would at least understand the therapy aspect. Eddie had stopped seeing Frank a while ago, but Buck knew that Frank had done what he could to help Eddie and that Eddie had come out the other side lighter and less jaded. 

“I’ll think about it,” Buck said. 

“Good.”

They talked about other things for the rest of the session and then Buck went back down to join Albert. He’d let Maddie and Chim go, so instead he was busy on his phone. 

“Seriously, dude, how did you meet someone? Now that I’m here, I need to know.” 

Buck rolled his eyes. At times Albert reminded Buck of his younger self, the guy that had been interested in nothing but chasing tail and hoping that that would fill the parts of him that were broken. It hadn’t ever worked, at least not for long. Vividly, he could recall wanting to make connections with those girls and the way that they’d all looked at him like he was asking for far too much. 

“For one thing, I’m not seeing anyone. For another, dating apps are still a thing even if completely inadvisable because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. It might even be good for you to not be hooking up with random girls.”

Albert just pouted at him and groaned. “I just want this to be over.” 

“So does everyone,” Buck pointed out. 

Albert would probably have made a good choice in finding someone to tell about the therapy. He was a good kid and if Buck asked him to, he wouldn’t go blabbing to everyone else. Not to mention that Albert was a bit removed from it all too in his own way. Still, when Buck opened his mouth to say something, the words didn’t want to come out. 

The next time he was at work and Eddie was walking at his side, Buck turned towards him, and Eddie’s gaze met his. They shared a quick smile. It was easy, a habit. 

“How’s Christopher?” Buck asked.

“Misses Carla. Misses everyone, really, but after all that time with Carla he got used to having her around all the time.” 

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you around, man,” Buck said. 

Eddie nudged him. “You know, Buck, I didn’t even think about it that way.”

Buck shrugged at him. Being around Eddie made most of everything else fade away. And when later that day, they were walking from the ladder truck onto a call, Buck just threw a grin his way and Eddie returned it. 

At the end of their shift, Buck walked with Eddie to their cars. 

“Do you remember, before all this, we’d just head over to mine or yours with Christopher. I miss those nights,” Eddie said. 

Buck hadn’t thought about it. He tried not to think about before — about how different life had been back then and how similar because even then he’d done that thing where he pretended that everything was alright. He’d kept it to himself how alone he felt and he’d kept it to himself that sometimes when he and Eddie were sitting in his living room side by side, he wished that it was permanent. It wasn’t about Eddie — or even about Christopher — it was about how Buck longed to have people. Family. 

That had been a thing for a long time. Long before Abby and before he’d moved to California when he’d gone from place to place trying to find himself and trying desperately to belong. The 118 had been one of the first places where he began to feel like he’d found a place, but he’d soon found that it wasn’t enough. It was one thing to love a job and to make it all that he was, but if his time recovering from the ladder truck incident had taught him anything, it was that he needed more outside of the job. It was just that he had no luck finding it. 

“Me too,” Buck said and then before they had reached their cars. “Hey, Eddie, can we talk tonight?” 

Eddie’s face showed some of his surprise. They had never acknowledged it before, not out loud outside of the phone calls or outside of Buck’s bedroom. 

“Sure we can,” Eddie said, crinkles around his eyes forming as he smiled. 

Buck nodded and then he climbed into his Jeep. 

#911 fox #911 fic #evan buckley #evan buckley fic #911 fanfic #coda #my fic

[vveridtime]

𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍  — ( older brother, age 30 ; sam claflin fc )

the oldest quinn child by a whole ten months and seven days. it definitely wasn’t planned that way, though. who knew that was even possible anyway ? the first couple years were a little rocky, with toddler drake feeling somewhat ignored compared to his brother. their parents did their best, but having two tiny kids is overwhelming. especially when one was born a few weeks premature and needs follow ups with the audiologist. but things calmed down by the time the boys were about two and three. river had more or less caught up to his age, drake was old enough to understand more and they both had enough of an asl vocabulary to communicate. all of a sudden the two of them were best friends.

drake’s the levelheaded voice of reason, and often the reason why river doesn’t go through with some of his wilder ideas. he’s also the one person on this planet who can get river to sit down, shut up, and calm down. nobody knows how he manages that, and when asked he just shrugs. when they were kids they used to keep flashlights in their beds so they could stay up talking or trading pokemon or whatever after bedtime. and even though he and river are so close in age ( and size, and basically every other metric ), drake’s a lot like your stereotypical big brother.  he generally prefers to keep to himself and out of trouble, but if you mess with his siblings all that goes out the window. river and ivy don’t really need the protection he offers, they can hold their own just fine, but they both still appreciate it. and find it funny when something bothers drake that much that he actually comes out of his shell.

𝐈𝐕𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍  — ( younger sister, age 16 ; morgan lily fc )

after having drake and river back to back, within a year of each other, it’s understandable that their parents wouldn’t jump on having another kid right away. for a while, they were even sure they were definately done. but as both boys started winding down elementary school and were basically self sufficient, they started to think maybe they actually weren’t ? enter ivy  — born right smack between her older brother’s birthdays, in that awkward space where river had just turned thirteen and there were still a few weeks before drake turned fourteen. because of course she was.

as much as river considers drake to be his best friend, ivy is his partner in crime. pretty much from the minute she could walk. he was the one teaching her all the less than age appropriate signs and letting her help him rip up his ( brand new ) jeans or whatever else it was that he was doing to get himself into trouble. but at the same time, river’s her protector. quick to take the blame off her ( even now, from 500 miles away when he hears about some trouble she’s gotten herself into he’ll say he encouraged her whether or not it’s even true ) or jump in to tell off anyone who so much as dares to look at her the wrong way. he’s probably not the best brother to be going to for life advice, but he does his best to guide her in the right direction when she does come to him. he is, though, great at listening and is the one person in her life who genuinely enjoy hearing about all the latest high school gossip. he’s nosy, what can i say ?

                                                      ————————————

despite distance on all sides ( with drake moving a few hours away to columbus not long after college ), the three of them are still close. they have a group chat that’s usually going off; mostly goofs and anecdotes from whats going on in their days. drake comes down to visit whenever he gets a chance, usually spending a weekend or two a month at river’s place just because irving is a nice getaway. ivy likes coming down for spring break, and spent a good bit of last summer staying with river. drake tends to hang close, friendly with everyone river’s friends with but he’s mostly just there for brother time. ivy on the other hand has a whole second social life with the kids in irving who she keeps up with regularly and carves out time to hang out with whenever she’s in town. river of course goes back home to ohio every once in a while, aiming for at least a weekend a month and of course holidays.

#irvingtask002 #╰ * river : meta ⧽ #today i offer u: this small novel #tomorrow ? who knows !

[blissfulbroadway]

Alfred Nathaniel Hallam III Headcanons!!!

YES his name is Alfred Nathaniel Hallam yes he is a third no I do not take criticism

Childhood:

- Alfie got pneumonia as an infant. It messed up his lungs A Lot and affected his immune system and stuff as well so as a child he was constantly sick. 

- He was in and out of hospital a lot and had a few surgeries so he was always on bed rest and isolated to everyone until he was about four years old. 

- All of his medical issues caused his mum, Elizabeth Hallam, to dote on him a lot and suffocate him a bit. His father, Alfred Hallam II was the opposite and became pretty detached from being a father figure to Alfie. 

- At a very young age, Alfred was introduced to stories since he couldn’t go anywhere. He was constantly reading in bed and learning often. Also his father made him study German just for funsies. 

- His grandfather Wally, or Alfred Hallam I, introduced Alfred to Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland when he was three. Wally re-enacted the story to him in hospital a lot, and it inspired Alfred to fall in love with the story and take on the characters as his own. Wally got him his own copy after an especially difficult surgery, as well as a stuffed rabbit called Baby because he’s a three year old and it’s his little baby bunny :-) (he still ends up traveling with it as an adult and can’t leave without him). 

- Around that time, his parents had his little brother, Elias (named after their mum) to be a backup plan or new start because they didn’t think Alfred would be much worth to them in the future. Yes they are shitty I know :/ 

- His parents have very very very high expectations for him because he’s now the older brother who has to do everything and he’s not their spoiled sick baby boy. They let Eli be a little shit and do anything he wants (like any little sibling but multiplied by like 10) while Alfie was expected to be the perfect child who dressed, acted, looked, and spoke the way they wanted. 

- Alfie and his parents are very posh sounding because they live in Bromley, but he has a slight northern twang because of his grandfather. His parents hate it. 

- When he’s four years old, after a long period of bedrest, Alfred is allowed to play alone outside, and he meets Alice. They refer to that day as their Golden Afternoon because it was the day they became the best of friends, and Alfred introduced Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland to her. (At first Alice was probably like Who are you and what are you doing in my backyard and Alfred is just SO EXCITED to introduce his favorite storybook in his entire existence so she budges and let’s him share his world with her)

- Alfie is a huge bookworm and while he adores learning and reading, his infatuation for learning mathematics (mostly so he could impress his father and maybe he would love him more if he knew “Big Kid Things” yes I know 🥺🥺🥺) manifested into an obsession with time, as well as the fear of being late or running out of time. He was surrounded by the idea of death from a young age and it influenced the way he thought about himself and what might happen to him if he didn’t listen to his parents. Their pressure brought out his anxiety disorder and depression at a very young age and it sticks with him throughout the rest of his life. His escape from all that death and sadness was Alice’s Adventures because he could always reset the clock at the end of the book and start again. 

- When he’s five, Alfie spends some of his rich kid allowance on a copy of Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland for Alice, and in return she buys him a pocket watch a few years later. He adores it and never ever takes it off even as an adult. 

- Alfred avoids his own home a lot and spends time with Alice in their conjoined backyard, playing pretend and acting out their story together. Sometimes, they spent the days inside her house (Mama Hallam is good friends with the Spencer parents, so she doesn’t mind them watching Alfie) and Alfred is well acquainted with Mr. and Mrs. Spencer enough where he considers them paternal figures...sort of. (Mr. Spencer is lowkey highkey Alfred’s bisexual awakening, and he’s one of Alfred’s first crushes; it doesn’t help that his own father constantly criticizes him and his interests or is absent from his life doing slimy rich man things. Daddy issues.)

- Mr. Spencer is a book lover (possibly librarian? Also sometimes professor :-)) and so he’s constantly discussing stories with Alfred and Alice on an intellectual level fit for the both of them. Most adults treat them like small children, so Alfred loves the attention. 

- When Mr. Spencer dies in their early teenagehood, Alice and Alfred get incredibly attached to their storybook, and they find more comfort in it than ever. His death launched Alfred’s struggles with eating and sleeping, as well. 

- This is one of the harder periods of time for Alfred, as he and Alice didn’t have any friends aside from each other. They’re incredibly codependent on one another. 

- Mamie Van Eysen flirts with Alfred a lot during this time, but only as a joke. Either that, or she makes fun of his body and his personality—both in front of Alice, to make Alfred uncomfortable and Alice jealous. Other students bully him and Alice often. 

- A lot of Alfie’s self image issues stem from this time, and his anxiety and depression worsen. 

- When Alice’s mum dies when they’re fifteen, the pair runs away together. Alice almost gets assaulted, and Alfred wants to protect her. He gets into a giant fistfight with the older man. It’s bad enough to the point where the man is arrested and Alfred is hospitalized; it’s the hardest period he’s ever spent in hospital, even after all of his childhood issues. The police bring Alice and Alfred home and Alfred is banned from visiting Alice for a while. They communicate by speaking through the windows straight across from one another, or holding up signs from the window seats. While Alfred is healing, Mama Hallam is extra overbearing and critical to the point of being toxic and unhealthy for Alfred. His brother gets really mean around this time, too, as he doesn’t get the attention he once had. His and Alfred’s relationship get really rocky, and it’s never really mended in the future. 

- The day Alice and Alfred can officially reunite, they never separate and they’re stuck at the hip from this point forward. 

- When Alfred isn’t hanging out with Alice, he is at his grandfather’s hat shop, helping him stock or sell products. He puts his money towards a secret emergency fund in case he runs away again—this time without Alice. Alfred can never get past the front door, though. 

University:

- When they reach uni, Alfie majors in mathematics and education, and minors in literature and statistics. He finds joy and love in his studies again, even if school itself affects his mental health. 

- Alfred doesn’t want to be dependent on his parents, so he gets a job at a coffee shop and writes essays on the side for money. His caffeine addiction is dangerous at this point, and he often finds himself not eating or sleeping until it’s physically impossible not to take care of himself. 

- Alfred puts all of his money towards renting an apartment with none other than Miss Tabatha Dedwin!!

- He and Tabbie are flatmates. Since Tabbie is best friends with Dodgy Dawkins, he meets him, as well. They’re friends for good after that, and that’s when Alfred starts to wind down, smoking with them, as well as his Alice. 

Adulthood:

- After university, Alfred gets official treatment and is able to change his eating habits and caffeine addiction. 

- Alfred learns about emotional support animals and gets a Giant Flemish Rabbit named Ollie to be his support animal. He’s giant and blue-eyed and looks like the spitting image of Alfred’s beloved White Rabbit. He’s a cutie. 

- Alfred also did a little bit of gardening when he was getting treatment, and once he’s home he gets all sorts of plants and becomes a Plant Dad (with lots of research, of course!)

- In his mid twenties, Alfred finishes his extra schooling and becomes a primary school teacher. He blossoms into a happy, mostly healthy bisexual man with lots of plants and a sweet pet bunny and he wears funky disastrous outfits and has an amazing support system!!! (Alice, Wally, Tabs, and Dodgy :-) also Wally’s lover Denny the carpenter who comes out to Alfred when he’s an adult. He’s super shook but he gets even closer to Wally because they’re more similar than he believed)

- When he’s prob like 30 he goes to more school and becomes a university professor in the end of his years! Depending on who he ends up with he possibly has a few kids and a bunny and life is good!!! He’s teaching and learning constantly and it’s the life he’s always wanted even if his parents never accept his Christmas cards and his brother doesn’t answer his calls. He’s happier than he’s ever been. 

- Also don’t tell Sage but when Alfie’s older his health problems catch up to him and he dies a relatively young death due to complications with his lungs :-( rip to my main man Alf

Little Headcanons:

- Alfie is the Biggest animal person besides maybe Tabbie. The ONLY exception is geese because one time he tried to feed a goose was brutally attacked by a goose and is afraid of them. He prob does birdwatching in his free time too 

- Alfred’s fashion is HORRENDOUS @dodgefred and I made it up forever ago that he was a fashion disaster and ofc Colton’s costume...moving on. The reasoning for his fashion is he just picks pieces that make him happy that day and he sticks with it it doesn’t matter if he matches he’s just vibing.

- He reads his kids bedtime stories and he’s so devoted to being the father his own dad never ever was - When he becomes a professor it’s probably to teach Calculus and while his class makes people cry Very Often Alfie as a teacher himself is very very empathetic and comforting and yeah math is a bitch but he’ll take time out of his lunch breaks and extends his office hours way past the set time to help a student!!! He’s such a comfort to LGBT+ students and he probably has a few he discusses gay discourse in literature with (Tabbie absolutely introduced him to lesbian literature also also this isn’t a Tabs post but she stans Shakespeare :-)). Professor Alfie is the weird quirky prof. who stresses you out sometimes but also he goes on long tangents about his interests and how much he loves his significant other or children or baby bunny child Ollie!! He has so many plants and books in his classroom too it’s a Lot.

- Wayyyyy into theatre but he didn’t pursue acting onstage because his dad is homophobic :/ but he was in charge of lighting in school productions and fell in love with the stage

- He helps his friends study by acting out their textbooks for them and they always always ace their tests

- MUG COLLECTOR!!! He has so many mugs it’s not even funny his entire cupboard is taken over by them honestly 

- Virgin who can’t drive 

- Such a cursed and baseless hc I’m So Sorry but his first crush was the tomato from Veggie Tales 

- Going off the last point he grew up in a Catholic household and he had one of those mums who was like you are Not allowed to watch tv unless it’s like. Veggie Tales or the Little Einsteins

- Alfie plays piano!!!! Also he did ballet when he was younger but he left because it was super bad for his mental and physical wellbeing and is convinced he’s a bad dancer because of his poor experience with the art

- Alice calls Alfred her Bunnie and he calls her My Alice/Allie/Allie Cakes

The end :-)

#alice by heart #alice by heart musical #ABH #abh musical #alice in wonderland #alfred hallam #alfie hallam #alice spencer #tabatha dedwin #tabbie dedwin #dodgy dawkins #this is the hill im dying on #thank you

[booksandwords]

The Librarian's Vampire Assistant 2 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Series: The Librarian's Vampire Assistant #2 Read time: 2 Days Rating: 4.5/5

The quote: “Please. Try to stop squirming. This is supposed to be a family-friendly mystery novel.” “What?” “Never mind. We all knew it would turn R-rated at some point.” — Michael Vanderhorst & Miriam Murphy

This is a book with a hell of an ending. It concludes the storylines started in 2, lines up 3 with a bang. It definitely encourages people to keep going. I should have guessed at least some of the endgame but didn't, it's set up well. The players were al there, the signpost are there to be seen but will only make sense when everything comes together. There are some moments of serious darkness including Michael attempting suicide (look it makes perfect sense in context). That is a spoiler, I will not hide it because I need it where it can be seen.

This is a book for two kinds of people. Those who like supernatural fiction and booklovers. Both the main characters Miriam and Michael are booklovers, Miriam is an almost stereotypical librarian intelligent, shy, clumsy and with a hoard of books. This book adds to what is already known of their characters. Michael is a dichotomy. He is deadly, old and always put together but he as a streak of loyalty to those who show loyalty to him and a strong set of principles. All wrapped up in a mess of humour and slightly confused feelings about his librarian. As the pov for the reader, we get an idea of his personality he's slightly sarcastic and highly amusing. But the way he describes himself is funny... "The deed of a four-century-old vampire with the face of a twenty-year-old. And the body of an underwear model."; "athletic build, six feet one, thick dark hair, and charmer of a smile."; "crossing my muscled arms over my very muscled chest. I was a university student who enjoyed exercise and boxing on the side for money before Clive saved my life from the flu. To this day, I still enjoy working out.". I always forget how young he presents as and I can't get over that. Michaels coding feels at least initially like it is sitting somewhere on in the aroace spectrum. But it's not that simple and it is even more complicated by the end. Michael's confusion over the bond he has with Miriam is still unexplained it's something I guess we will find out at some point. I see Miriam as a booklovers protagonist, as a librarian she has what so many consider a dream job (which is mine), she has a house full of rare books and first editions. One of the best exchanges in this book is “Which was your favorite?” “That’s like asking a musician to tell you his or her favorite note. A true booklover doesn’t have one.”. That is such a booklover response and I'm pretty sure I've made a similar answer at some point. She is stronger and more perceptive than she appears. Her love and trust in people is fantastic.

Lula is just a straight-up badass woman. Smart and more than able to hold her own against the men. Viviana is far behind Lula in the badass stakes but where Lula is physical and very obvious, Viviana is the brilliant assistant/ lawyer to Michael, loyal and efficient. "While I cannot argue with Viviana’s rage, I am shocked by it. I have never seen her claws and teeth. Of course, Aspen had forced Viviana to become a vampire and then used her child as leverage." She may have been blackmailed into her vampiric state but she is determined to make the most of it. I never want to see her truly in anger.

It must be said that while The Librarian's Vampire Assistant books stand alone or at least Mimi Jean claims they do and she does reiterates the characters, circumstances and some of the lore. These are all built on through the books as necessary. I like Mimi Jean's lore, especially this quote about sunlight. "We simply hate the hell out of it, similar to how cats hate baths, children hate bedtime, and men hate listening. Vampires. Hate. Sunshine.". Book 2 does build heavily on book 1 even if the circumstances are explained it definitely makes more sense if you know what is going on coming in.

I'm finding this with an annotated quote dump.

“Oh really? How about story time, huh? I see that glint in your brown eyes when you think you’re about to scare the children. Of course, you end up boring them to sleep, which is why the moms all love you. I think they’ve started a fan club.” — I love this line. Michael and kids is one of the cutest things

"I am a man. On the rare occasion I do not know something, I wing it. Hasn’t failed me yet." — No comment I just need it in this review

"“Didn’t your parents leave cash reserves?” She shakes her head no. “They spent their money on books. Every last dime.” She shakes her head no. “They spent their money on books. Every last dime.” My kind of people." — I mean yeah mine too. But damn Miriam got a bit screwed on getting the ability to care for her amazeballs collection and her library.

"Mr. Nice is a giant ball of crazy wrapped in an impenetrable blanket of crazy and dipped in dazzling crazy sprinkles. — I mean this is a fair point. He is A LOT.

"As a collector of literature myself, I have never seen anything like the items in her home. It gives me a solid book-boner merely thinking about it. First. Editions. Mmmm…” — Michael... Micahel I love it.

"She is right. She never will be ready. This beautiful, delicate little flower would wither in my world. She is meant to live a human life filled with books, story times, and love." — This is so soft and pretty and loving. I like how Michael talks about Miriam.

#the librarian's vampire assistant #mimi jean pamfiloff #book review #read 2021 #ktreviews #tw torture #i really do relate a bit to both michael and miriam it's the book thing and the librarian thing

[mirrorballls]

*  jordan connor, cis male + he/him | you know zachary chamberlin, right? they’re twenty-five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to aliens exist by blink-182 like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that stepping outside for long, meandering phone calls back home, messy hair and sunken eyes from another last night scrolling through wikipedia, and coffee cold and black, a shock to the system and a tether to what’s left of reality thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is january 23rd, so they’re an aquarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

we meet again.

somehow i ended up playing all water signs and if i didn’t immediately add an air sign as soon as possible there would have been dire consequences. will be harassing everyone for plots later (and circling back on plots for my other Three) <3

basics.

full name:  zachary david chamberlin. birthday:  janurary 23, 1995. big three:  aquarius sun, virgo moon, scorpio rising. sexuality:  gay. occupation:  works concessions at zoinkies. neighborhood:  lives in delphinus heights.

bio.

it’s hard to try and look at zachary’s life and think critically about why he is the way he is. because with him, he’s very much what you see is what you get. but we’re gonna try. 

zachary was born to parents who are a testament to opposites attracting: a father with his head in the clouds, a mother who kept him firmly planted. his parents met more than once before they finally decided to give it a shot, and after they did, they were in it for the long haul, for better or for worse, etc. 

he was the youngest of two, with an older sister that would go on to be their family’s wild child. so maybe his parents indulged him too much, his little make believe stories and before-bedtime anxieties. or maybe his quirks flew under the radar, because his sister’s hell raising needed a little more parental intervention. but zachary was free to become whatever weirdo he was going to be. and boy did he.

zachary has always known he was different. now, picking out exactly why was harder for him,  but he always knew there was something setting him apart from his peers. he was never able to really connect with them because of it:  he’s always been extremely close to his family, to the few that took the time to actually listen to and try to understand him,  but he had a harder time cracking others. he was shy and nervous and overall a pretty lonely kid because of it all.  he tried to find his people, but he never did.

but it never really got to him,  because he did have his family after all, and he always found ways to entertain himself.  he spent most of high school a) extremely online,  be it reading conspiracy theories and creepypastas or gaming or b) hanging out by himself, never one too ashamed to spend hours in the library or going out alone, for a coffee or a movie. he lived a very solitary life, and he’s largely convinced himself it was by choice:  not because his peers wouldn’t hang out with him  but because he truly preferred to be that way (which like, his therapist tried to get to the bottom of more than once, but he will not budge on it).

after he graduated,  he remained the same kind of isolated though. he got his Social Quota from interacting with whatever roommates he’d weasel his way into living with, or with the people he worked with at Target, but he still spent a lot of his time online, making more niche friends on the internet than he had ever been able to in real life.

but even to someone as set in monotony and solitude as zachary was, that gets redundant, toxic even. after a lengthy, drawn out for weeks talk with his parents about it, he decided to go and live with family in irving for a little bit. his aunt and uncle would let him stay with them, he’d get a change of scenery, a chance to reinvent himself and meet new people somewhere smaller than his bustling hometown. but what started as a little vacation turned into something more long term. he felt so much better suited to living in irving, where things moved slower and people were more open. on a whim, he used his lack of tethering to his hometown as an advantage, and decided to make his move to irving a little more permanent. he’s recently gotten a job working the concession stand at zoinkies and moved out of his aunt and uncle’s guestroom to an apartment in delphinus heights.

all in all,  he’s the same old zachary, but more open now i suppose. he still has all his little conspiracy theories and neurosis, but as he’s gotten older, he’s decided he wants to be more open to people. he’s realized that, while he still greatly values his alone time, getting to be somewhere as fun and lively as irving and around his cousins (waves to erica and her sister) is really fulfilling, because he’s finally getting to go out and feel apart of the world at large. he’s maybe coming to terms now with the fact that his life has been lonely and that’s not what he wants anymore, so he’s making an effort.

but he’s still unapologetically himself. as established, what you see is what you get: he’s melodramatic and a little standoffish,  but he’s also very earnest and loyal to those who give him a chance..... not to start describing him like a senior dog at an animal shelter.... 

this bio is shorter than my others and i’m sorry for that but also more time for me to jump into replies now am i right.......

connections.

okay so bsacially. he’s new in town and i don’t think he’s made too many connections because i want to just take everything fresh you know...

but that being said. if anyone lives in delphinus and wants a quirky roommate lmk... i want so badly to assemble a group of ragtag roommates for zachary to be apart of.

#irvingintro #back into the reply trenches now.... dont mine me..... #mine nice. i have a degree in english.

[draconicocelot]

Incoming “The Little Vampire” fic!

Description: Tony’s big heart gets him into another dangerous situation.

Full Moon : Part 1

After things had settled down for Rudolph’s clan, and after his three-hundred and thirteenth birthday had been properly celebrated, most of the visiting vampires had begun their journey back to their respective homes. However, Rudolph and his family had lived in the nearby graveyard for centuries. With the roof now caved in, they had to find a new location to inhabit that was dark and cold enough for their liking. Not only was Rudolph’s immediate family now homeless, but Rookery also destroyed his aunt and uncle’s crypt. The mansion made a fine home for them until they could find a new location, but it was a bed-and-breakfast made for humans, and the owners that ran away screaming would most likely be back with backup. Most likely that backup would have wooden stakes and enough bright lights to burn all of the vampires living in Germany. While Tony and Rudolph spent as much time together as possible, their sleep schedules only allowed them to see each other for about a few hours each day. When they weren’t together, Tony focused on reading his favorite comics and walking through nearby towns during the day as Rudolph was flying all over Germany trying to help his family find the perfect place to settle down in the night. However, they both promised to make time for each other since they only had until the end of their scheduled castle tour before the Thompsons had to return to San Diego. 

“Are you ready for your adventure tonight?” Dottie asked as she stirred a cup of steaming hot tea. It was late evening and the moon was just starting to peek out above the thick clouds in the blackened sky. While she sat at one of the few empty kitchen tables, Tony was lying down with his stomach against the windowsill. The dining hall was huge, and at nighttime, it was a wonderful place to see the true beauty of the surrounding castle grounds. 

“Yes! Rudolph and I are going to go flying above the cottages we went to earlier. I can’t wait to see them with all of their lights on at night, it’s gonna look so cool!” Dottie smiled as she slowly rose to her feet. As she made her way over to Tony, he rolled over so that he was sitting down and facing her. 

“Well you two have fun, but more importantly, be safe. Your father and I put a lot of trust in you Tony… please don’t take advantage of it,” as she stroked his hair, Tony smiled and gave her a look of childish determination. 

“I won’t, I promise.”

“You’re the best kid we could ask for,” as she picked up her cup of tea, she pushed Tony’s hair back and kissed his forehead, “your father and I will see you in the morning. Remember, nap tomorrow, early bedtime.” 

“Got it! Love you, mom.” 

“Love you too, kiddo,” As Dottie started to make her way up the long set of winding stairs to get to her and Bob’s room, Tony turned his attention back to the large wall of windows. Tony’s parents allowed him to stay up all night for a day or two so that he could spend more time with Rudolph, but only if he made a promise to catch up on sleep for the remainder of the trip. He thought it was a more-than-fair trade and was always happy to oblige. 

Now all Tony had to do was wait until Rudolph woke up. It was late evening, so it was only a matter of time until he burst out of the overturned closet that was now sitting right next to his bed. It seemed like a quiet night outside considering the fact that most of the vampires were gone and that there were no vampire hunters trying to kill his best friend. As if right on que, the night got a lot less quiet as a blood-curdling scream rang out in the woods right outside of the castle grounds. Tony nearly jumped out of his skin as he leapt away from the window. He couldn’t see what was happening or where the scream was coming from since the trees were so thick, but he knew someone was in trouble. If it was a vampire grabbing a snack then maybe he could convince them to get it elsewhere, but he wasn’t sure if he should interfere at all. What if it was a starving vampire? What if the victim was old and sick and agreed to be a meal?

“That wouldn’t happen Tony, you’re being ridiculous...” he muttered to himself. If he went to wake up Rudolph, the woman who screamed would probably be too far gone. In fact, she could have been gone already, but Tony believed that if he was fast enough he could help her. Maybe it was someone who wanted to go to the bed-and-breakfast, and if that was the case, Tony felt responsible for bringing all of the vampires to the area. He couldn’t take it any longer. The guilt gnawed at him until he made a break for the door. On his way out, he snatched a flashlight that was sitting on a small table by the front windows, but that was all he brought.

The harsh cold temperature hit Tony like a slap to the face, which only made him realize that he left his hoodie in the house. However, he knew he didn’t have time to go back. He was too determined to settle a dispute between a vampire and a human, or at least that’s what he thought it was.

***

As the moon rose above the trees, Rudolph slowly blinked his eyes open and stretched like a lazy cat. When he opened the door to his closet, he expected to see Tony sitting in the corner reading a book or comic of some kind since that is usually what he did to kill the time until he woke up. This time, the chair in the corner of the room was empty. His eyes scanned the room, but when Tony was nowhere to be found, he floated over to the window to see if he was already outside. Leaning forward as he yawned and stretched, he happened to glance up at the moon. It was beautiful, and glowing more brightly than usual. It wasn't until he rubbed the exhaustion out of his eyes that he realized it was full. That’s when his pupils constricted and his expression changed to that of panic as an audible gasp left his lips. 

“Oh no…” he muttered, putting both hands on his head and gripping his messy hair tightly in clumps. “Tony!” Rudolph flew out of the room as fast as he could, practically bumping into all of the walls since he couldn’t turn very well at that speed. He desperately searched all of the rooms in the castle while shouting his name. Surely he wouldn’t have gone outside by himself on a night with a full moon, right? Rudolph couldn’t find any sign of him until he finally reached the wall of windows that Tony had been sitting at before he ran outside. In his haste, his red hoodie was left on the windowsill and the front door was left wide open. Rudolph turned just as his brother had come down the stairs. He looked even more exhausted than he had when he went to sleep that morning. 

“What on Earth are you shouting for?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. 

“Tony went out on his own… I don’t know why, but I don’t think he realized it was a full moon…” Gregory tilted his head slightly as he looked at the open door. 

“Why is that such a big deal?” 

“It’s not a big deal for us, Gregory… but for a mortal, there’s no telling what a werewolf could do…” 

#the little vampire 2017 #the little vampire #rudolph sackville bagg #tony thompson #draconic_fics #my posts