#i understand that my parents try and i understand that my sister is 15 but i cannot be everything they want me to be and i cannot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heesdreamer · 1 month

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FIRST SUMMER

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends brother (possibly your mortal enemy) are both given the task of renovating your childhood lake house during the final summer before it’s sold

WARNINGS ➩ light smut, heeseung and reader aren’t super nice to each other most the time

WC ➩ 14.5k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Well.. officially out of retirement with this one I hope! I started this august of last year and abandoned it during my hiatus so picking up where I left off was a bit difficult and I apologize for any changes in writing styles. This isn’t my favorite thing I’ve written but I hope you guys enjoy it, thank you always for waiting for me. NOT PROOFREAD NO PART 2

You wondered if Lee Heeseung had been put on this earth for the sole purpose of making your life more difficult.

He’d probably argue this assumption with the fact he had been born before you, his main reasoning behind his many claims that you were the one copying him and making his life a living hell and not the other way around. He was a measly two years older than you but never failed to bring it up and use it against you.

Heeseung had been in your life for as long as you could remember and you absolutely never got along.

It wasn’t a big issue at first considering you were kids and had no real need to be around each other. The playgrounds were big enough for the both of you and your parents saw no reason to force a connection between the two of you, despite the fact you were neighbors and the two pairs of adults actually got along quite well.

Similarly to you and Heeseung’s little sister, a small girl who was born in the same year as you but nearly your polar opposite in personality. At first you’d been hesitant when she started to show up to play with the older boy, knowing him by now as the enemy and assuming she was going to be just as wicked and terrible. It only took watching her push him down onto wood chips once for you to decide to be her best friend.

The boy had scowled from his place on the ground, grumpily picking pieces of the wood from the fabric of his sweater and watching the two of you run off together towards the swings.

He’d failed to understand the power of your friendship in that moment and now 15 years later he was still paying the price, stuck with the two of you constantly. You and Jiwoo almost seemed more like siblings than they did, attached at the hip and never going too long without talking to each other.

Which is why it was all the more annoying that you and Heeseung could never seem to get along, reverting right back to being two kids arguing on the playground every time you saw each other, which was quite often. You’d practically moved into the Lee’s house next door during high school and you were even a frequent guest on their family vacations, their mom booking a place with an extra bed for you before she even asked if you were available.

You weren’t exactly sure why the two of you didn’t get along. He was nice enough to other people and sometimes he cracked jokes that nearly made you laugh, only nearly. For some reason he just brought out a terrible side of you that you didn’t really understand and you were certain you did the same for him.

It was easier now that you were out of school and entering adulthood, not having any major reasons to constantly see each other and his parents didn’t have to force him to drive you and Jiwoo around places now that you had your own cars.

He was definitely still around though and you were trying your best to act civilly despite that inner part of you always preparing for an argument to break out between you.

Especially right now considering the fact he kept kicking your leg underneath the table at the restaurant both your families were eating together at. The Lee’s cousin was in town and you’d always been particularly interested in him, being a total sucker for an accent and a good beach tan.

You sent a glare to your right in Heeseung’s direction when he kicked you for the third time and jammed your heel against the bone in his leg, ignoring the grunt of pain he let out as he bent slightly forward to grab onto his shin. His mom sent him a concerned glance before remembering who he was sitting next to and rolling her eyes as she looked away from the two of you.

You were watching Jake as he talked animatedly about his life guarding job back in his hometown, leaning forward and resting your chin on your palm to show your interest despite the fact you weren’t fully listening.

It was difficult to considering the constant distraction sitting beside you, another kick being sent to the leg of your chair so you jolted slightly to the side. You whipped your head around to look at him again, immediately replacing your interested and awed look with one of hatred and disgust.

“What the hell is your problem?” You were spitting at him in a low whisper, grateful the table was big enough that the others weren’t really paying attention to you. Although they had to have expected an argument eventually considering they sat the two of you together, breaking an unspoken rule that had been built up throughout the years.

“Stop trying to seduce my cousin.” He was spitting back and his eyebrows were pulled down tight in a sharp glare, keeping eye contact with you in an attempt to intimidate you.

“Mind your own business.” Your response was quick and tight, slightly embarrassed he’d caught you staring but too angry to care.

You turned back to try and focus in on the conversation again but now you were suddenly overly aware of the fact Heeseung was sitting next to you and watching what you were doing, looking for any opportunity to tease you and start up an argument. You sighed softly and leaned back in your chair with crossed arms, keeping a scowl on your face and letting the dinner pass by without speaking again.

“You know, I figured the two of you would eventually start getting along once you became adults.” Your mothers tone was laced with lighthearted disappointment after the dinner, walking ahead of you on the rock path leading up to your front door.

You could hear your father laughing softly in front of her at the idea of your life long feud being laid to rest, a frown instinctively coming up on your face at their inside joke.

Glancing over to the side, looking past the small stretch of grass that separated your pathway from the Lee’s, you saw Heeseung sporting a similar dejected expression and you wondered for a second if he was hearing the same lecture you’d been getting after dinners for as long as you can remember. Then he was looking over towards you and meeting your gaze in the low light of the summer sun setting, eyes immediately hardening into a glare that you quickly returned.

It was hard not to think about it later on in bed, eyes trained on the old plastic stars on your ceiling that didn’t glow anymore. Your hands were folded on your stomach and you were tapping your thumbs softly on the smooth skin in contemplation.

Sometimes, although you’d rather die than admit it to anyone, you also didn’t understand why you and Heeseung didn’t just stop fighting.

He was kind to Jiwoo in a way that always made you envy having siblings and despite his constant teasing he never declined driving her places or picking up food for her when she didn’t feel like going out. And he was even kinder to your parents, treating them like his own and having manners enough for the three of you growing up.

It was like you were dealing with a completely different person, him falling into that same angry glare the moment you’d step into a room. Sometimes he’d be mid story with a group of friends, being charming and funny as he recanted something and exaggerated moments to get a few more chuckles. You’d watch from a far for a bit and then slowly approach and every single time he’d pause for a moment, looking completely thrown off by your arrival, and then tensing up and losing track of what he was saying.

Your presence just seemed to bug him and as the two of you got older it affected you more. You didn’t mind the fact he wouldn’t play with you when you were kids, never dwelled over him saying you had cooties or getting dirt on your favorite stuffed animals.

But the fact he still continued to hate you as you aged and matured, settling into your respective personalities and lives, you couldn’t help but be offended he disliked you so much.

“He’s just weird.” Jiwoo had explained to you once when you were both seventeen, sprawled out on her bed and flipping through a magazine as she addressed you. “You shouldn’t think too deeply about it.”

Heeseung had just graduated high school and you’d all attended the ceremony, both families getting reserved seats per his request.

It had actually gone well for once, he didn’t seem upset that you were there and he had even hugged you alongside your parents when he came off the stage and your mother handed him a bouquet of celebratory flowers. Mrs. Lee had shot you a surprised glance and then a supportive thumbs up and you gave her a soft smile in return, figuring he was just so excited to have graduated that he was managing to tolerate you being there.

The Lee’s had taken advantage of the fact your backyards combined into each other, no fencing between them, and the two pairs of parents had decorated the space for a small party for the older boy.

You were excited to go, especially since Heeseung hadn’t demanded an explanation for your invitation, and you even managed to make some good amount of conversation with a few of his friends.

The conversation was swiftly interrupted when you felt a hand wrapped around the middle of your arm, tugging you a few inches backwards to get your attention. You whipped around to see who it was and you were met with an angry looking Heeseung, looking more familiar to you than the smiley version of him you’d seen earlier.

“Why are you talking to my friends?” His voice was accusatory like you’d done something wrong and he sounded so upset that for a second you felt like you had.

Your mouth had parted in confusion, fumbling for words and coming up short from the shock of his sudden confrontation and also the embarrassment of the situation considering he wasn’t exactly being subtle with his anger and the boy behind you could definitely hear every word he was saying.

“Chill out Hee, we were just making simple conversation.” Jay proved you right by speaking from over your shoulder but you didn’t bother looking at him, keeping your eyes locked on Heeseung and wincing softly at the way his face hardened at his friend defending you. “Cmon man, I know better than to-“

“Do you know better? Because it doesn’t seem like it.” Heeseung was cutting him off at the same time he was removing his gaze from yours, breaking you slightly out of the worried spell you were under as he looked at his friend from over your shoulder.

You weren’t exactly sure what they were talking about but you assumed Heeseung had warned his friends against speaking to you. It took you back a bit, despite knowing he didn’t like you.

The two of you definitely didn’t get along but you were still very close regardless if you liked it or not and you spent a lot of time together, so it hurt you more than you expected it to that he hated you enough to actively try and keep his friends from interacting with you, enough to the point he’d embarrass you and cause a scene at the sight of it.

“Hee I’m sorry.” His eyes snapped back down towards you at the sound of your quiet voice, completely out of character for you to not be fighting back or making a snarky remark.

It seemed to throw him off enough that his anger faltered for a second, looking concerned for a moment as he stared down at you before his jaw was tightening again and his face hardened back up.

You weren’t sure why you didn’t bother to snap back at him, if it was from the embarrassment of being ripped out of a conversation and scolded like a dog who’d gotten into the trash or if it was actual disappointment at his behavior despite the fact you definitely should’ve been used to it.

“I think you should head home. Parties almost over anyways.” He was eventually saying and it was directed towards you although his eyes had dragged back over your shoulder to look at Jay.

You figured he had looked away because he was feeling slightly guilty for embarrassing you and not being fought back in return, or maybe he was disgusted with you and didn’t want to look at you.

Still, his tone wasn’t as angry anymore although just as hard and stern, and you nodded softly before stepping sideways out from between the two tall boys. You knew he was lying about the party being over soon but it had ended for you anyways and you had no issue leaving it and going to the safety of your bedroom.

Jiwoo had caught the end of the encounter and caught up with you as you speedily walked away from the boys who had started to angrily murmur at each other, hence leading to the conversation about her brother in your bedroom and her explaining he was just being weird.

“Jay is a total playboy though, you should steer clear of him.” Her nose was curling up in disgust as she made the casual comment but a small pout formed on your face, wondering if Heeseung thought you were going to hookup with his friend and that’s why he was extra aggressive about it.

Eventually you let it pass from your mind to become just another bullet point in the long list of things Heeseung had done to show you he truly disliked you.

It was a lot easier to start to dislike him back, easier to fight with him and snap insults rather than get confused and sad about why he treated you so differently. So your routine was set in stone even deeper and neither of you ever faltered, not during birthdays or relative weddings or even your own graduation two years later.

So it wasn’t exactly an easy thing to handle when your parents and the Lee’s were sitting you all down to explain that your family lake house was going to be sold at the end of the summer.

“Wait why would you ever sell it?” Jiwoo was blurting out before they got the chance to explain and you had a permanent frown on your face as you waited to hear their response.

You watched your dad and Mr. Lee exchange a heavy but meaningful look, like there was something they’d already discussed amongst themselves in regards of how to tell you. You were sat on the left of Jiwoo, Heeseung on her right and for some reason you had to resist the urge to lean forward and see what his expression was.

“We’ve decided, now that you three are all grown up, it was just time. We figured we’d use the money to travel during the summer or save towards retirement.”

It made sense as your dad started to speak but you felt a weird clenching in your stomach at the thought of not having the lake house to go to anymore.

Realistically he was completely right and you’d started to neglect the yearly trips out there, taking them for granted and not appreciating the time you got to spend at the house. You didn’t even go at all the last two years, finding yourself too caught up with things so unimportant you don’t even remember them now.

The lake house was a tradition that was instilled before any of you were even born, a collaborative effort of your parents to try and bring some fun and adventure to your summers since you grew up so close to the city.

“So it’s just gone?” Heeseung was speaking for the first time since the meeting was called and you were surprised to hear how thick his voice was with upset, clearly more affected by the breaking news than you and his sister. You caved to the urge and leaned forward a bit to try and get a look at him but Jiwoo shot you a sideways glance and you quickly sat back in place.

“Well not exactly.” Mrs. Lee’s voice was soft as always and you watched as she reached across the small space between the seven of you and gently rubbed her sons knee, giving him a soft smile and an encouraging nod. “We will have one last summer with it, mostly for renovations before the new owners come to look at it.”

You knew exactly what she was talking about when she said renovations, hearing your dad complain about the rotting in the deck and the holes in the inside walls for years now but never making the time to fix them.

But you weren’t fully understanding what they had planned for the three of you yet and you wished you had in that moment so maybe you could have come up with an excuse faster. They explained to you softly, attempting to lessen the blow, that you would have to go and stay at the lake house for a few weeks and fix up the place to make it look brand new for the new owners.

You weren’t at all against getting to be up there one last time, breathing in the clear air and having campfires on the sand, but you definitely didn’t want to sign up to spend your summer doing free manual labor.

Your parents left no room for argument and you could see the prepared disappointment on their faces so you offered no reason for it to escape, hesitantly agreeing with the plan and waiting to hear what the siblings next to you had to say about it. Jiwoo was stiff beside you and staring forward at the ground like she was in deep thought, a bad feeling washing over you at her expression.

She proved your suspicions right when she started to explain in a meek voice that she had already made plans for the first month of summer, having completely booked and paid for a vacation near the sea.

Her eyes shifted towards you as she told your parents this and you immediately furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance, knowing right away she was lying and making up an excuse so she didn’t have to come with you until the second half of summer and by then the house would be mostly finished already.

To make matters worse, you didn’t even process the fact Heeseung would definitely not decline considering how much he loved the lake house and that would leave the two of you alone up there.

He seemed to piece it together a few seconds before you did and you saw the realization settle over your parents faces too.

“Woah woah wait, there’s no way I’m going with just her.” He was quick to shut down the idea, sitting up straighter and shaking his head dramatically.

You didn’t say anything in response surprisingly despite the fact everybody in the room tensed up in anticipation for a fight to break out between the two of you. You were a bit dazed from the news of losing a big piece of your childhood and you were also just tired from the day over all, already knowing Heeseung was going to reject before he’d even opened his mouth to do so.

Mr. Lee was sighing and beginning to lecture his son on being an adult and putting your differences aside for something this important but Mrs. Lee was silent and giving you a curious look that you were too afraid to try and decipher.

Eventually it was decided that the two of you would either suck it up and go to the lake house together and work on it without killing each other or you’d face the wrath of four disappointed parents. You didn’t say much about the agreement either although Heeseung had plenty of comments to make and Jiwoo was finding the entire situation pretty hilarious from an outside view.

It had been about an hour since the family meeting and you were still in the Lee’s house, leaning your hip against the counter in the kitchen and mindlessly peeling some potatoes for the stew their mother was making for dinner.

The air was hot and dry like it always was during the beginning of summer, not bothering to creep up anymore and instead it just seemed like one day it was cold and the next you could barely sleep without waking up in a puddle of sweat.

You could hear the bugs outside from the open window, loud and alive with excitement for the new season and the breeze was just barely cooling off your damp skin. Normally this would bring you the same feeling summer always did, a lightness in your chest and a heavy sense of nostalgia everywhere you went.

It wasn’t hard to guess what was dampening your mood and leaving you feeling a bit shut off, the source of the weird emotions just a staircase away upstairs in his room playing video games.

Mrs. Lee was walking into the kitchen and pausing when she saw you although you only met her eyes for a split second before quickly focusing back in on your peeling and chopping. She cleared her throat softly and came over towards where you were leaning on the counter, placing down some lettuce and starting to chop besides you.

“Something put out your fire tonight?” She was asking it casually and her voice was as soft as ever but you immediately understood what she was implying.

You glanced at her from the side of your eye before shaking your head. Mrs. Lee had a certain aura about her that always made you feel like a little kid again, vulnerable and sensitive. As much as you loved your own mother, you always envied your neighbors for having her so close growing up.

“Sometimes it just isn’t worth the argument.” Your words weren’t the least bit convincing considering how forced they sounded coming from your mouth, paired with the fact you’d never once backed down from an argument and they all seemed to be worth it to you up until this point.

You could hear her take a deep self calming breath and your hands froze where they were chopping slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she was planning to say next.

“He means well honey he just… isn’t sure how to get through to you.” She somehow sounded as certain as she did hesitant and you could feel her gentle hand patting the side of your arm softly, leaving you with your poorly sliced vegetables and dimmed fire.

——

Throughout the entire process of packing your bags and mentally preparing yourself to head up to the lake house, you’d completely forgotten the fact you’d have to ride with him the entire five hour car ride there and then back again once it was all over.

He definitely didn’t seem to miss this fact considering he was standing outside leaning against the car with a nasty scowl when you came out, dragging your suitcase behind you and nearly tripping over the step off the porch from its wobbling weight. Your mother was trailing behind to say goodbye but not offering much help when it came to loading up your stuff.

Heeseung luckily didn’t say anything to you when you were approaching, greeting your mom with a gentle but annoyed good morning and staying on the side of the vehicle when you started to attempt to load your stuff inside the trunk.

After a few groans of annoyance slipped out of you, due to the fact your bags kept tipping over back out towards you and refusing to stay still in the neat tower of things Heeseung had packed for himself, he was sighing and making his way back towards you.

You glared at him when he circled around the car, not in the mood to be berated or rushed so early in the morning, especially right before you were stuck in a car together for the entire first half of the day. Your harsh facial expression faltered a bit when he was rolling his eyes and tugging your suitcase out of your grip.

“Just go and get in the car already, you take too long.” He was spitting it at you and harshly side eyeing you before starting to load your stuff up but you didn’t bother to argue considering the gesture was nice enough if you ignored the attitude he always carried.

“Well that was sweet of him.” Your mother was whispering the words to you in a dreamy voice, nudging you softly with her elbow and eyeing Heeseung through the windows.

You paused and glared at her in confusion, a dumbfounded expression and a sneaking suspicion starting to arise considering how weird both her and Mrs. Lee have been acting in regards to the two of you and your complicated, but mostly aggressive, relationship.

“Are you kidding me?” You settled on a bewildered statement instead of grilling her about her weirdness, knowing she wouldn’t give you an answer anyways.

She had given you a shrug that you assumed was noncommittal and then hugged you tight, tighter than she’d ever had and you tensed up a bit at the embrace.

You’d gotten into the passenger seat of the car and tried not to think about how weird the dramatic send off was, tried to focus yourself on keeping calm and not letting Heeseung get to you too early on in your time being forced together. You weren’t exactly sure why you were trying to be the bigger person lately but you chalked it up to being exhausted with the back and forth.

“You’d think she was sending you off to war.” He’d made the comment as he put the car into drive and you glanced over at him, staring at the side of his face, both confused and relieved by the fact he had noticed your moms weird attitude.

“She might as well be.” You didn’t mean to sound so snippy but it was your default setting when replying to him and he didn’t seem to mind the tone, chuckling dryly under his breath and shaking his head in annoyance before focusing in on the road.

He didn’t attempt to talk to you again for another hour or two and you were grateful for the silence, giving you another opportunity at being less confrontational. It definitely wasn’t for his benefit or to be kinder to him, you just didn’t want to constantly be exhausting your energy with the effort it took to keep up with whatever set him off.

Eventually he was pulling off of the main highway and turning into a gas station that was almost completely barren, stuck in one of those sections of a road trip that was basically just fields followed by more fields.

He was getting out of the car and shifting through his pockets for his wallet before sighing and glancing at you in the passenger seat, watching him from the corner of your eye so it didn’t seem like you were staring.

“Want anything to eat or drink?” He was asking in that familiar reluctant tone he always had with you and for a second you wanted to snap at him and decline his offer, tell him to just hurry up and get what he needed so you could get back on the road.

You took a small breath instead to steady your emotions before nodding. “Yeah I’ll just… I’ll take a-“

“I know what you want.” He was cutting you off and closing the car door before you could say anything else, leaving you with parted lips and annoyance starting to simmer in the lowest part of your stomach.

You scoffed even though he wasn’t around to hear it and leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms and scowling as you waited for him to return. You highly doubted he knew what you would get from a gas station, knowing he never paid attention to you or your interest outside of finding something to fight about and it just aggravated you further that he would go as far as to ask like he cared just to not let you answer.

He didn’t take long in the gas station luckily or else you’d overthink too much and be on the verge of exploding, sniffing slightly when he slid back into his seat and passed the bag with the snacks in it.

You paused for a second to glare at him before you were taking a look into the plastic and pausing when you spotted your favorite drink and a snack you commonly ate whenever you were stressed out or particularly craving something, mixed in with things you knew he enjoyed.

“What?” He was asking from the drivers seat and he sounded weirdly awkward underneath the familiar attitude. “Is it not right or something?”

“No it’s… it’s right.” You cleared your throat and nodded softly, sitting back in your seat and closing the snack bag after you grabbed what you wanted out of it and balanced it on your lap. “Thanks.”

“Yeah whatever.” It was muttered in his low tone but you caught it anyways, finding it almost as weird as the fact you had thanked him. He was finally starting the car and starting to pull out of the gas station much to your relief and you focused back on looking out the passenger window.

The heat was reaching the point where the low quality AC in the car wasn’t doing much to cool either of you down and once he rolled his window down instead, you took the silent cue to do the same to yours.

It was still pretty dry in the air and the sweat was really starting to make you itch and worsen your mood so you were hesitantly unbuckling your seatbelt so you could sit up more in your spot and pull your sweater over your head, leaving you in just a tank top and you sighed softly in relief as the air immediately cooled down the wetness of your sweaty arms.

You could feel Heeseung’s stare from your left and you glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows, rolling your eyes when he quickly scowled in return before snapping his gaze back onto the road.

It was pretty quiet for the rest of the drive, Heeseung playing the same music you often heard coming from his bedroom or his headphones when you were forced to sit close to each other in a car so you were actually able to recognize them and sing along.

Neither of you said much even when getting out of the car and starting to bring your things in, exchanging quick glares when you reached for the same bag or got in each others way but for the most part you were too relieved to finally be back somewhere that always caused your stress to melt away.

This time wasn’t any different and you took a second before you went inside with your things to take a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs and listening to the sounds of the water against the shore just off in the distance.

You couldn’t see the lake from the driveway as clearly as you could from the other side of the house where the deck was located but it was just one of those places where you could actually feel the difference in the air and the atmosphere.

“Can you hurry up? There’s plenty of time to stop and do nothing later.” Heeseung was griping at you as he passed by with another load of bags and you scowled at his back, completely removed from the peaceful moment you’d been having.

You decided to just leave it be and finish unpacking, flopping onto your back on your designated bed and panting slightly from the effort mixed with the heat once you were completely finished. Your phone had been abandoned against the span of your stomach but when it started to vibrate, you immediately knew who it was.

“So how’s it going? Have you killed my brother yet?” Jiwoo’s amused voice did nothing but amuse you further although you were struck by how much you missed her teasing.

You could hear the sounds of waves in the distance through her side of the phone, envy settling deep into your gut despite the fact you were also near water. The small lake was a lot different compared to the endless sea she was currently vacationing at, having a nice time with people who cared about her versus you being stuck with her older brother who couldn’t bother even being kind to you.

“We surprisingly haven’t really fought yet.” It came out of your mouth in a hefty sigh and you absentmindedly played with the string of your pajama shorts, pressing the phone tighter against your ear. “Think he’s downstairs getting ready for dinner.”

“Are you going to eat with him then or just hide out in our childhood bedroom?” She was asking it like it was a question but you both knew the answer already, the same accusatory tone that she always had heavy in her voice underneath the knowing smile you could practically see in front of you. “He’d probably secretly like it if you ate with him you know, I always did figure he had a crush on you.”

An automatic eye roll came over you at the sound of her baseless teasing. She often made jokes about Heeseung secretly liking you growing up, coming to the conclusion that was the reason he was always so harsh towards you.

You’d told her countless times that that was absolutely ridiculous and there was no way Heeseung liked you, let alone that he was the type of person who thought being mean to somebody was going to get them to like him back. You had seen the types of girls Heeseung brought home occasionally and he definitely knew better than to resort to elementary school level flirting methods.

She was eventually hanging up once one of her friends started to call her name, inviting her to come and swim with them.

You laid in bed for a while after the call went silent, feeling struck again with that weird lonely and nostalgic emotion that you couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t normally this silent in the lake house, typically filled with doors opening and closing and the sounds of your mothers rushing around the kitchen as they cooked and your fathers cleaned.

As much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t help but wonder if Heeseung was feeling just as weird about the whole situation as you, if he was downstairs just as lonely and unnerved by the fact it was only the two of you this summer and then nobody ever again. Your mind stuck on that thought process when you started to smell food drifting its way up the stairs and going straight to your empty stomach.

You’d planned to avoid the older boy as much as you could, especially during the first few days, but you were beyond hungry by now and you couldn’t help yourself from standing out of the bed and making your way downstairs.

He didn’t notice you for a few seconds when you first hit the bottom step, watching him for a beat as he casually moved around the kitchen and diverted his attention to three different pots and pans. He was listening to music again, something low playing from the old radio that sat in the lake house year round, and you realized how often you associated him with something soft playing.

You were completely ripped from your thought process when he was turning around and letting out a loud shriek when he saw you standing at the bottom of the stairs, dropping the bowl that was in his hands and doing a little scared hop.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He was spitting out and your mouth parted in surprise, not expecting such an extreme reaction or how loud it suddenly got. “Why are you just standing there like a weirdo?”

“What? I was not, I was just..” You started to defend yourself loudly but gave up midway and let out an annoyed grunt, knowing he wasn’t exactly wrong about what you were doing and you didn’t necessarily have an explanation. “I was just coming to see what you were cooking dickhead.”

He stared at you for a few seconds with a look on his face that you didn’t really understand before he was stepping to the side and revealing the plate with a handful of burgers on it.

You looked at it before you were meeting his stare and a weird feeling passed through you while holding his gaze, not something you often did- especially not willingly. He had cooked enough for the both of you despite his attitude when you’d came down and you weren’t sure if it was intentional or just habit but the act struck you.

The two of you ended up sitting at the table and eating in awkward silence, directly across from him but feeling like he was miles away considering he hadn’t even acknowledged you being in the room once.

You couldn’t help but be hyper aware of the fact you were very rarely alone with Heeseung and this was about as alone as any two people could possibly be. He was a lot less defensive when it was just the two of you and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he almost seemed shy, making you think about the jokes Jiwoo often made.

It’s not like Heeseung was at all ugly, you’d never stoop low enough to make fun of him for something that was so clearly not true.

Especially within the last year or two, he’d completely changed both in build and confidence and you were extremely glad you didn’t have to be around him as much as you did growing up. You disliked him as a human being but you were still a person in reality and he was almost unnaturally attractive.

“Why are you staring at me again?” His voice was low across the table, speaking in an awkward mumble as he started to push what was left of his food around with his fork.

You didn’t bother denying the fact you were watching him even though you hadn’t really realized you were doing it, completely zoned out again. You figured your time in the house together was already going to be awkward no matter what so you might as well ask him what you were thinking about. “Jiwoo says you have a crush on me.”

He completely tensed up for just a split second before he was quickly switching his demeanor and letting out a heavy scoff like he found you ridiculous. You caught the small reaction and your interest peaked, sensing an opportunity to get under his skin.

“Jiwoo also watches too many romance movies.” He was quickly disregarding what you had said with a casual and bored tone but you could tell that he was clenching his fork a little tighter, avoiding looking up from his plate all together.

“So you’ve never once found me attractive?” It rolled off your tongue easily, like you were asking him something as simple as to pass the mashed potatoes, but you gave him a knowing glance from under your eyelashes.

He finally looked up at you once you said this and he seemed taken back by the way you were watching him, the expression on his face telling you he thought you were absolutely crazy for even asking this.

“What? Are you kidding me, of course I haven’t.” He was quick to deny it and you could tell he was getting irritated, hand tightening around his silverware and that familiar clench of his jaw showcasing how much your questions were bothering him. You couldn’t tell if it was because he felt embarrassed or disgusted.

You let out a soft hum of understanding and let the silence sit for a few breaths, watching as he slightly relaxed under the assumption you were done saying weird things.

“I think you’re attractive.” He had been mid bite when you finally spoke again and his body lurched forward almost like he was choking, covering his mouth when he coughed and quickly taking a sip of water to try and force down whatever he had put into his mouth before you nearly killed him.

After he calmed down he was shaking his head at you again although not looking at you, staring down at his plate like he was thinking deeply about something and for a minute you wondered if he was going to take the bait like always or if he was going to just brush you off, making your stay much more awkward.

“My sister put you up to this?” His voice was stone cold now and he clearly was slowly losing his resolve, similarly to you considering what he said had completely thrown you off.

What did Jiwoo have to do with any of this and why would he automatically think that?

“No.” You shrugged like it was a casual conversation but your heart was beating a bit faster now, sensing genuine anger from him and not just annoyance. “I just don’t see the point in lying just because we don’t like each other.”

“You think I’m attractive?” His eyebrow was quirking up now and he was narrowing his eyes, leaning forward in his seat.

He’d finally put down his fork and stopped pretending to be focusing on the food he had barely eaten, elbows on the table and his full attention on you as he waited for you to reaffirm what you had said so confidently a few seconds ago.

The confidence had definitely left your body as soon as you’d said it and actually got his attention, feeling similarly to how you did when he embarrassed you at his party despite the fact the two of you were alone.

Very alone.

Still, you held strong and pushed through the conversation and if your stomach turned at his head tilt when you gave him a small quick nod, you’d pretend it didn’t. There was no going back now and you weren’t sure what direction this scenario was heading towards.

On one hand, you knew Heeseung had to be lying. You definitely weren’t unattractive and he clearly had eyes, ones that settled on you more times than you’d wished you had noticed so he wasn’t oblivious to this fact either regardless if he wanted to pretend he was. He was a teenage boy at one point and you were prancing around his house in short skirts and bathing suits.

And on the other hand, you didn’t think it necessarily mattered.

If Heeseung found you attractive he didn’t have to say it and this would be the ultimate time to completely embarrass you, humiliate even. If he rejected you here, you’d never live it down and he’d forever hold this over you as the time he utterly destroyed your ego in one fell swoop. Plus a large part of you was hoping he wasn’t planning to do that anyways even though you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted out of this.

You had hated the boy across from you for as long as you’ve known the power of the emotion and you’d never let him and his tall build and cute hair distract you from this fact.

But you also weren’t stuck seeing him everyday now. He didn’t live at home and you rarely came around unless you were forced beyond what you could deny so the stakes were a lot less high if he reciprocated what you were saying right now.

“You’re going to have to say it.” His low commanding tone was enough to stop you from overthinking the fact this was a bad idea, an absolutely terrible idea.

It was also enough for you to shift in your chair uncomfortably so you could better squeeze your legs together, watching the way Heeseung’s eyes darkened at the movement even though there was no way he could see what you were doing underneath the table.

“I think you’re attractive Hee, don’t be weird about it.” You were pulling yourself together and standing from your seat then, completely popping the bubble of tension that had started to suffocate you.

He didn’t say anything, thankfully not correcting you on the fact you had definitely been the one who made things weird, but he watched you with a heavy expression as you hurriedly cleaned your plate and disappeared up the stairs with quick footsteps.

——

You were coming to terms with an unmeasurable amount of regret now that a few hours had passed.

The bed had become your official moping place and you stuffed your face so far into the pillow you could barely catch your breath, possibly a self punishment for your humiliating behavior. You’d given up on attempting to sleep and you couldn’t rely on Jiwoo to entertain you considering she was probably busy and you were fearful you’d slip up and confess your sins to her the second she answered.

How do you explain that you’d nearly, just barely, flirted with her brother?

If you could even call it that considering the fact he looked like he was just on the verge of throwing his plate at you the entire time. Still, it had been weird and far too bold on your part and you were strongly regretting your life decisions up until this point.

Eventually you decided that sleep was useless and not coming anytime soon and you might as well make use of the fact you were at the lake house, suddenly remembering the hot tub that was placed around the side of the large deck. It didn’t take long for you to change into your swimsuit and start to head outside but you froze up right outside the slider door.

Considering how cruel the universe had been up to this point, you should’ve expected the fact that Heeseung was already occupying the small pool of water.

You were just starting to take a step backwards with the plan to retreat back upstairs and change again into your pajamas when you decided against it, taking a deep heavy breath before pulling the door open and simultaneously alerting the boy of your presence.

He was nearly all the way in the bubbling water but you could tell he was shirtless, something you’d normally be unaffected by if it wasn’t for the conversation you had. The steam from the hot water mixing with the cold night air was covering his face for the most part but you could see him enough to tell his face had hardened at the sight of you.

His gaze was locked on you for the duration of your walk towards the tub, stopping right outside of it and taking another subtle breath to try to calm yourself down.

“Mind if I join you?” Your voice was rougher than you wanted to be, nearly giving up the fact you were affected by the awkward tensioned air and the way he was watching you still.

He made it worse by not responding out loud, giving you a subtle nod of his head that made your heart rate increase. Still you were following through with the initial goal and climbing over the side of the tub before settling down into the hot water, letting out a sigh of relief and sinking into it until only the tip of your shoulders were above the surface.

Heeseung was still watching you and you were avoiding looking at his side completely, although that didn’t help much considering you could feel his stare on you.

“I’m sorry for making shit weird.”

Well apparently your mouth was planning on getting things out of the way before your brain was.

You looked up just in time to see him cock a brow in your direction, an expression on his face you couldn’t read and you almost groaned in annoyance from how calm he was being about the entire thing. You kept waiting for him to lash out at you and yell about your weirdness, maybe even call your parents and demand Jiwoo came instead of you.

“I don’t think it’s weird.” Instead he was saying this and shifting so his arms were resting on the back of the tub, lifting his torso out of the water more and giving you a better view of the wet streaks going down his neck and past his adams apple. “Unless you didn’t mean it.”

“I meant it.” Your voice was coming out rushed and your eyes were widening a bit, mentally cursing yourself for being so eager to reassure him.

He hummed softly like he had earlier and your stomach flipped again with nerves.

It wasn’t missing you that this was completely out of character for you and totally ironic but you were only human and as much as you disliked him as a person, you couldn’t deny how good he looked with damp hair and his tan skin lit up by the LED’s of the hot tub. He was sexy and always had been despite how much you wished that wasn’t true, and now you were alone.

So you tried to ignore your long history with him as you shifted through the water so you were closer to his side, only a quarter of the way to him now instead of being directly across from you.

He watched you silently for a few beats before he was scoffing and shaking his head like he was judging you, causing your eyebrows to furrow tightly as you stopped moving closer to him.

“What?” You felt embarrassed suddenly at your assumption and prepared yourself for him to make fun of you again, scold you for ever thinking he’d want you closer to him just because he hadn’t made you feel weird about your admission.

“Nothing. I just should have known you liked me.” He was laughing to himself slightly like it was the funniest thing in the world, not at all discouraged by the glare you were sending him. “You totally followed me around all the time, plus you always had that look in your eyes.”

“I do not have a look.” You hissed at him with a sharp voice and this seemed to amuse him even further. “And I never said I liked you don’t be stupid, I just think you’re hot.”

His eyebrows raised up high and his eyes widened in amusement, catching your slip of the tongue as you aggressively spat the words at him. “Oh see you said attractive, didn’t know you found me hot too.”

He was clearly having fun with the whole embarrassing situation and you gave up quickly, leaning against the back of the tub behind you and frowning with your arms crossed under the water in front of you. You stared ahead of you at the bubbles and tried to tune out his low chuckles.

“Don’t get pissy about it.” His voice was filtering over the running jets again and you glanced at him from the side of your eye, surprised to see something that slightly resembled guilt on his face. “If it makes you feel any better… I think you’re hot too.”

This made the corner of your lips turn up into a small smile,something very rarely ever sent in his direction from you. You turned your body to face him again and leaned forward with interest.

“So you lied earlier.” Your voice was more excited than you wished it was but you didn’t fully care, sitting up on your knees a bit. His gaze was dropping down to your chest before meeting your eyes again, losing all traces of humor now that more of your skin was visible.

“Yeah. I lied.” He confirmed in a lower tone and your smile fell slightly, suddenly nervous again. You were used to how he was acting a few seconds ago, making fun of you and feeling angry and embarrassed around him but this was a side of him you had no history with outside of watching him flirt with girls at parties Jiwoo forced him to bring you both along to.

That didn’t stop your body from naturally moving closer to him, drifting along the bench until you were right beside him and you could feel his thigh pressed up against your knee.

Your mouth was parted softly to try to keep breathing around the hot steam and his eyes were seemingly transfixed on it, watching your lips as you wet them instinctively and remaining on them even when your tongue was slipping back into your mouth. You could feel his breath on your face and it struck you that you’d never been this close to him before.

His face was leveled with yours for once since you were still perched up on your knees and he was sitting normally, minimizing the usually very apparent height difference.

He hadn’t touched you or even moved at all but you could feel his skin next to yours and you were hyper aware of his every movement, the subtle rise and fall of his built chest and the way his throat moved with every deep inhale he took. He seemed to be showing some restraint and that made you shift impatiently, teetering towards him until your shoulder was brushing against his.

His eyes shut tightly for a second when he felt your bare skin touching his, mumbling something under his breath before he was looking at you again.

This time his gaze was going all around your face instead of just focusing on your lips, even dropping back down to your bare shoulders and the way your wet hair was sticking to the skin of your neck. He scanned down past your chest to where the rest of your span of skin disappeared under the water.

“Hee.” Your voice was breathy as you finally spoke and instead of cutting the tense moment, it only worsened it and you felt your thighs pressing together again like they had at the dinner table. This time he could clearly see the movement past the bubbles and he stiffened a bit. “Can you touch me Hee?”

You watched him tense even more at the sound of your whiny voice using his nickname, one you didn’t say nearly as much as your friends and family.

He didn’t reject you even though you were starting to think he might considering how restricted he look, instead he was lifting his hand out from under the water and cupping it around your jaw softly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your cheek, the water from his arm rolling down your neck and disappearing back into the pool of it.

It was almost embarrassing how much it affected you to be touched by him so intimately and the urge to kiss him was too overwhelming, a dizziness settling in from both the heat and the longing sitting harshly in your stomach.

You were so close to each other that you could feel his lips brushing against yours, not quite kissing considering he was rocking softly backwards every few breaths and holding your face tightly so you couldn’t surge forward and get it over with.

Heeseung definitely wasn’t letting go of his habit of teasing you but this felt particularly cruel and prolonged.

“That what you want? Want me to touch you?” His tone was meaner than you expected it to be but you didn’t exactly mind, at all apparently considering the shiver it sent down your back. He was clearly making fun of you and your desperation but if he touched you, you knew you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to care.

So you took a deep shaky breath and nodded your head as much as you could while he still held your face, moving your hand so it was touching his bare knee.

Your action took him off guard enough that he lessened his grip for a split second but it was long enough for you to lean forward and press your lips against his for just a second, barely feeling them on yours before he was pushing you back again and your hand was impatiently squeezing his knee.

Another embarrassing whine came from deep in your throat and his eyes flashed with something for a second before he let out another soft hum.

“Can’t do that baby.” He was so close that his lips pressed against yours as he spoke and you completely froze up once his words made sense to your lust dazed brain, just barely processing his rejection before he was letting go of your face and leaning away from you.

You did nothing but watch him in horrified shock as he stood out of the water and left the hot tub, weirdly calm even when your gaze was locking on his bare torso.

He was leaving casually like he hadn’t just did the worst thing you could possibly imagine and you felt hot wet tears of anger spreading rising quickly, completely humiliated and swiftly reminded on why you hated Lee Heeseung so much.

——

As the days continued passing with awkward avoidance on both of your ends, you were struck with the fact that maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you always thought you did.

You’d actually admired Heeseung at points considering he was the oldest out of the three of you and continuously setting a good example despite all the pressure. Some nights you’d leave a heated argument with him and head back inside your own home, laying on your bed with a racing heart and a scowl fixed in your features.

Then you’d hear the strumming of his guitar coming from his house, window wide open and directly across from yours.

The first few times you’d put in your headphones or let out an annoyed shriek as you slammed yours shut, trying your best to tune him out and erase his existence from your mind ; out of sight out of mind.

Eventually you got tired of pretending you weren’t impressed by how smoothly the chords carried over to you, how swiftly he must be moving his hands to produce something so soft and gentle. You’d let it carry you to sleep and for a moment you felt like you were experiencing something together.

You were more naive then, tricked into thinking he ever cared about you enough to even know you were listening, childish and stupid to possibly hope he might’ve been playing for you.

Some sort of apology.

He never was and he made that very clear to you and eventually your embarrassment and shame turned to hide behind anger. It was easier to fight with him, to scream and yell, than to admit that he was hurting your feelings and lowering your ego everytime he treated you so harshly.

The entire situation was extremely frustrating and annoying, almost (but not quite) as annoying as the continuous banging happening directly under your head for the past hours.

With a loud groan, you were getting out of bed and deciding to end your moping abruptly, heading downstairs to see what the workers Heeseung had hired were doing that made that much noise. You slowed your steps as you descended down the stairs, realizing there was a lot more men in your second home than you’d originally expected and they were all moving around at a fast and busy pace.

You’d just barely managed to dodge one of them, carrying a large amount of… something, as you reached the bottom step but in your attempt to move out of the way you were running into an abandoned tool box and spiraling in the other direction.

Your eyes had squeezed shut and your body tensed bracing for an impact that never came, instead feeling yourself smack into someone’s strong and sturdy frame.

“You alright?” You quickly shot open your eyelids to see who it was you’d fallen into, turning red in the face at the concerned look the man holding you was sending down in your direction, still holding you softly and giving your arms a slight squeeze like he was trying to get you to focus.

He watched as you nodded your head softly with wide eyes, helping you steady yourself back on your feet but still holding onto your upper arms like he was worried you’d fall again.

You took the opportunity to scan over his body and your face flushed a bit more at the sheer size of the man and his extremely toned arms, looking away quickly to focus on his feet between yours instead. Heeseung was definitely a large guy too and nearly towered over you but you imagined he’d look tiny in comparison to the one in front of you.

“You sure you’re okay? You look a little red.” He was speaking again in a soft voice that directly opposed his look and you snapped out of your random thoughts about Heeseung.

“I’m okay I promise.” You were nodding quickly and giving him a soft smile, hoping you were convincing enough to make him believe you definitely didn’t need any type of medical attention just because you’d tripped over a box. “Just startled me a little. Thanks for catching me….”

You trailed off while watching him and it took him a few seconds to understand what you were looking for, a bright smile on his face once he realized and filled in the gaps. “Namjoon.”

“Well thank you Namjoon.” His name was rolling off your tongue smoothly and his smile suddenly looked a lot more like a smirk making you a lot more aware of the fact he was still holding onto your arms and standing close to you.

He didn’t get a chance to reply considering the loud sound of someone aggressively clearing their throat was coming from next to the two of you, both your heads turning to see who it was and it was almost comical the way you froze up in sync with each other.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to work now Kim?” Heeseung’s tone was stiff but you could feel the underlying threat in his words and the man across from you definitely could considering he was immediately letting go of you and taking a few rushed steps backwards, mumbling a goodbye to you before he was disappearing into the kitchen to find a task to complete.

Your shoulders slumped at the interruption but your heart was beating fast looking at Heeseung next to you, recognizing the expression on his face even though it was subtle.

He was absolutely furious, the type of anger that typically caused you to end arguments early or completely stay out of his way. When he got like this you knew it wasn’t the time to poke fun at him or start up any banter, his entire aura becoming a lot darker and less forgiving.

You’d fought with him like this a few times, realizing a little too late that he was in one of his moods and it was those times that he had said the worst things. Things that made the family and friends around you gasp even though they were used to your rivalry, things that caused tears to spring to your eyes as you stormed off to a different room.

“Let’s go.” He was saying it calmly but you felt a chill run over you as he stared at you with fury and disgust, reluctantly following behind him as he left the main living space and entered a small hallway just next to it.

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain before he was abruptly turning around and facing you, taking a few harsh steps in your direction until you were backing up and slamming into the wall behind you. Your eyes widened in surprise and slight fear, not understanding why he was suddenly cornering you.

Heeseung moved forward until he was pressing against your body and now your emotions were abruptly changing as you realized what was happening, a wave of heat rushing through you at the feeling of his front leaning onto you.

You were slightly embarrassed he most likely could feel how fast your heart was beating but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care once he was reaching up to grip your face, a lot less gentle than he had earlier in the week when you thought he was going to kiss you.

“So I don’t give you the attention you were begging for and now you’re flirting with the first guy you find?” His voice was low and harsh, completely demeaning you and still watching you with hatred in his eyes.

You hated how much this drove you crazy, the urge for him to berate you and make you apologize for what you had accidentally done arising quicker than you’d even knew had existed and you were a bit dizzy from how much you wanted this.

“Please.” It was rolling off your tongue before you’d realized you were saying it and you barely recognized your own voice, breathy and begging for something you didn’t even understand. His eyes got even darker, if it was even possible, and your stomach lit up with a desperate heat.

“Pisses me off so bad when you do that.” He was practically hissing it at you, voice a low whisper and his hand around your jaw tightened, leaning in so he was speaking to your ear. “Stop being so fucking dumb and use your words.”

You tried to get ahold of yourself enough to find the right sentence to tell him what you want but your mind was completely blank, instead deciding to just arch your back off the wall so you were pressing tighter against him.

Heeseung faltered a bit and his eyes dropped down towards where your stomachs met, watching as you tried your best to roll your hips up to meet his but failed to actually get any sort of relief for yourself.

“Just fucking touch me.” You were finally gasping the words out through clenched teeth and he didn’t waste any time thankfully, surging forward and surprising you by kissing you deeply.

His tongue was pushing into your mouth before you even processed the fact he was actually kissing you and you were letting out a satisfied groan against his lips, letting him lick into your mouth softly and play with his tongue against yours. His hand was wrapping around your lower back and tugging you forward so you were pressing against him the way you wanted to.

A wave of desire ripped through you feeling that he was hard against you and you snuck your hand in between the tight space of your bodies and palmed him through his shorts, smiling at the way he sucked in a sharp breath and stopped kissing you for a second.

Your smile was dropping when he was meeting your eyes and looking ten times more deadly than he did in a daily basis, still glaring at you like he always did but with tenfold the usual fire and tension. That didn’t stop him from pushing his hips against your seeking hand for a few seconds, eventually stopping and letting out a groan as he snatched your wrist off of him and pinned it against the wall behind you instead.

He was rutting into you so hard that you were almost worried the rough materiel of the wall behind you was going cut your back, completely forgetting about it half a second later when he was pressing himself perfectly against your sensitive lower half.

“Keep your fucking mouth shut.” His voice was dangerously low in your ear and you could feel him taking heavy breaths against your neck, panting to try and keep himself quiet.

You were nodding quickly at his command despite the fact he couldn’t see you, curling your hand tightly in his hair and spreading your legs wider so he could continue to slot himself between them and give you just a taste of relief. He immediately took the silent invitation and shifted his hips against yours more, almost bordering painful if it wasn’t so addicting to feel him this way.

Heeseung was clearly struggling to control himself and you couldn’t recall ever feeling this needy for anybody before, something about how forbidden the entire situation was mixed with the life of tension and anger was driving you absolutely insane and you didn’t seem to be alone in it.

“You want me to fuck you here?” He was picking his face up out of your neck to look down at you and check your reaction, his eyes hazy and dark with his lips parted and swollen like he’d been chewing on them. “Where anyone can hear you begging for me?”

“Who said I’m going to beg?” You were trying to snap back at him but your voice came out weak, nearly a desperate whine that got louder when he was shifting against you again.

“Sure seems like it, the way you’re spreading your legs for me already.” His big hand was sliding down past your waist and cupping underneath your bare knee, hiking your leg up harder and rolling his hips against you so deliciously you nearly collapsed as a stuttered moan ripped through you.

You immediately took your hand out of his hair and covered your mouth with it, eyes rolling back a bit at the feeling of him shifting his hips against you and practically dry humping you right there against the wall.

Knowing that the house workers were only a few feet away and walking around completely clueless about what they might walk into was only making you more desperate for him and you didn’t care how out of character it was for you. At this point you would be willingly to let him take you in front of anybody who wanted to watch, leave you shaking and crying for him in public.

He didn’t need to hear you say it to know this, a cocky look on his face underneath the fucked out expression he already had.

“Always running this pretty mouth.” He was speaking again in that same low tone but he seemed completely out of it, almost like he was talking to himself and not you. His free hand was gripping your face, squishing your cheeks together so your lips were puffed out and your eyes were wide. “Should’ve known you wanted me to stuff it.”

An embarrassing wave of want washed over you again at his words, nearly drooling at the thought of him shoving his cock in your mouth to get you to stop back talking. It would’ve felt more humiliating if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were completely frozen on your mouth like he was thinking the exact same thing.

You couldn’t resist the urge to tease him more and your tongue was sticking out softly before you’d even realized you were doing it, causing him to loosen his rough grip on your face a bit to allow for it to push past your lips. You were staring up at him with big wet eyes and your tongue on display, silent waiting and begging for something you hoped he’d understand.

Thankfully he did and he was only hesitating for half a second before he was picking his head up more and spitting down into your mouth.

Heeseung didn’t even give you a chance to swallow before he was following the spit with his tongue, licking along yours and cleaning up his own mess before you were pulling him back into a kiss and sucking him deeper and deeper into your mouth. It was completely filthy, the nastiest kiss you’d ever shared with somebody and you were terrified you’d become addicted to the feeling of his spit on your chin.

“Please Hee.” You were gasping out into his mouth, reaching up to tug on his hair again and get his attention locked on you and your request. “Need you to fuck me.”

For the first time since you’d started, he actually looked hesitant. He glanced down the hallway towards where the dozen of workers were and your heart dropped to your stomach thinking he was going to stop what you were doing, even if it was just to take you upstairs to a bedroom. You couldn’t handle the idea of separating for even a second and you were spreading your legs impossibly wider and touching his face with your shaky hand.

He glanced back at you in question and his eyes darkened again seeing the pure disgusting need on your face.

“You’re stupid if you think I’d fuck you like this.” He was shaking his head in anger and taking a step away from you, one that immediately had your body tensing and your heart aching in upset.

You were instinctively reaching out to try and grab onto him, just about ready to get down on your knees and beg him not to leave you at the peak of your high like that. But the empty look in his eyes made you rethink that decision and you just stood there in shock as he gave you one more angry glare before he was exiting the hallway and leaving you alone inside of it.

It was even more pathetic considering the way your entire body slumped against the wall before sliding down it and ending up on the floor with humiliation completely smothering you, knowing you only had a few breaths to wallow in your embarrassment before needing to get up and go back to your room.

—

You’d completely retracted back to your bed again after that and this time not even the smell of food or the sound of annoying construction could get you to go back downstairs and risk running into him.

Jiwoo had called you three times every hour before she finally gave up and instead sent a thread of text messages that you promptly ignored. You were overly paranoid that she’d find out what had happened, like even the sound of your voice would give away the fact you’d made out with her brother since she last heard from you.

If you hadn’t hated him fully before than you definitely did now because there was no way you’d still want Lee Heeseung after he embarrassed you like this.

You didn’t think he would tell anybody considering he’d get just as much heat for it as you would, if not worse since he was older and supposed to be taking care of you and his sister at all times in your parents minds. But the interaction staying a secret was almost worse in your mind, a private thing between you and him.

Nothing could have convinced you to leave the comfort of your familiar bed until the wind of the sea lightly blew back the curtains and gave you a small glimpse of the sunset raging outside.

You let out a big breathy sigh, realizing now how much time you’d been wasting moping around about a stupid boy when this was your last summer ever getting to experience sunsets this bright and air this fresh. Heeseung definitely wasn’t sat in his room caring about you and how he hurt you so why should you be?

It was almost completely dark by the time you made it down to the beach but you didn’t regret coming, the lake looking long and endless now that you couldn’t see the other side.

You remember it seeming a lot scarier when you were a kid, before you’d ever seen the real sea and back when you and Jiwoo used to dare each other to swim out as far as you could before seaweed grabbed at your ankles and spooked you back to shore.

Your heart ached with how much you missed her and you were pulling your phone out of your pocket and putting it to your ear without another breath, playing in the sand with your free hand while you anxiously waited for her to pick up and talk to you. You didn’t have to wait long considering she was answering after the second ring and you let out a breath of relief.

“Finally, I was starting to think you’d really killed eachother.” Her voice was sweet as ever and a wave of fondness and nostalgia hit you even harder, laughing softly but not fully answering her yet.

For some reason the sound of her light joking mixed with the waves from her side of the phone was bringing tears to your eyes and you didn’t need to say anything for her to understand you were feeling something heavy. You both stayed silent and you hoped she figured you were just upset about leaving the lake house behind and didn’t create her usual conspiracy theories.

“You okay over there? I can come early if you need me to.” Your friend was doing her best to reassure you without knowing why you were upset and you wiped your now running tears with your sleeve.

“I’m alright, just feeling a lot of things right now I think. Are you having fun?” You weren’t exactly lying in your answer which was good considering you didn’t want to lie to her anymore than you already had to.

“I’d be having more if you were with me but you already know that. Can’t believe my brother gets to spend more time with you than I do.”

Your heart sunk a little at the mention of the exact reason you were crying and you were sure how to respond to her without giving too much away. She could read you even over the phone so you knew she might’ve felt the energy shift now that she’d brought her brother up, sniffling a bit and letting the sand run through your fingers.

She talked a bit more about her vacation and how much fun being at the sea was after so long and you listened to her excitedly chatter, letting out soft hums every once in awhile to assure her you were still listening.

You actually were but a large part of you was still thinking about Heeseung and what he might be doing back up the hill inside the lake house. You wondered if he felt guilty for you hiding in your room or if he had even realized you weren’t inside anymore.

Jiwoo was eventually bidding you a goodnight and making you promise to answer her the next time she called on the first ring, sounding a bit heavier when she was saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You hated that you didn’t feel the typical happy buzz that your bestfriend typically brought and more tears made their way down your cheeks.

You sat like that on the shore for another hour, watching the waves roll and crash onto the sand just a few feet away from where you were sitting.

It was putting you in a sort of trance, so many thoughts running through your head that you weren’t even able to pinpoint where one started and another ended.

You were so deep in your own head that you didn’t at all hear the calls of your name from up the hill, starting off mildly confused and concerned but escalating to full on desperate and panicky shout when they were met with no response. You certainly didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the large wooden steps from the back deck or when he breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing you on the beach.

“There you are.” Your back tensed at the sound of his voice and the soft tone in which he mumbled the words. “I thought for a second you’d gone back home.”

He was coming to sit beside you on the sand, just close enough where you could feel his body beside yours and the wind carried over his familiar scent but still too far to touch.

Which was for the better in your opinion.

You ignored him even though you could sense his stare on the side of your face and embarrassment was hitting you in rough rolling waves, hoping that the moonlight wasn’t quite bright enough to give away the large tear streaks down your cheeks or how red your nose had gotten from crying.

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” His voice was still soft which was doing absolutely terrible things to your heart and you shook your head slightly, pulling your lip between your teeth to stop yourself from letting out another sob. “I’m sorry about everything in general.”

He was turning to face you more and you braved up enough to spare him even the slightest glance, seeing pure guilt and turmoil on his face.

Meeting your gaze was enough for him to realize how upset you truly were and he was sighing before scooting closer to you in the sand and putting one of his warm hands on your bare arm, now cold from sitting out in the wind for so long. You instinctively leaned into his touch and his other hand gently gripped the side of your face so you couldn’t look away again.

It was such a jarring difference from how he’d touched you earlier, from how he touched you your entire life actually.

“I didn’t mean to be so mean so you or leave you there like that I just… I just panicked I think.” He was rambling now and stuttering through his words, something you knew he often did whenever he got in trouble when you were younger. “You think about something happening for so long and then it actually does and it’s so much more different than you thought, n-not that it wasn’t good I just mean that…”

He trailed off and sighed again and you squeezed your eyes shut to try and ignore the desperate urge to just kiss him and shut him up.

You knew you needed to hear whatever he had to say and he definitely needed to say it, he long overdue owed you a few hundred apologies and it was a lot more than the fact he’d left you high and dry earlier.

It was all the times he glare at you and stolen a smile off your face and every argument you ever had that left you stricken with angry tears and storming out of a room, the embarrassment of being told off at his graduation party and even worse the fact he didn’t kiss you until he was driven by jealously.

“I’m just so sorry.” He seemed like he was ending his monologue there and you gave him a heavy look, slightly nuzzling into his hand before placing your own over it. “Say something please?”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” Your words were more honest than you expected them to be but his eyes softened when your voice came out weak and croaky, the full expanse of your hurt getting more obvious by the second. “I’m just confused.”

You were turning slightly so you were facing him more and you were certain the two of you looked a bit ridiculous, sitting criss crossed directly opposite of each other with your knees touching and his hand holding your face still, only moving to push some of your hair out of your face.

“I am too.” He was whispering now and you felt the full effect of it low in your stomach, a soft smile on his face now that you were opening up to him a bit more.

Heeseung had never left your life and it was a lot easier to list out all the terrible moments you’d had with him over the softer times, glimpses of days where he’d had a smile just like this wether it was in your direction or not.

He’d been there every time you called for a ride even if he complained about it most of the way home and you’d never stopped listening in extra hard whenever you heard his sweet dorky laugh coming from a few rooms over. You must have been blind to what your mothers had clearly started seeing a long time ago but little things this summer had made you reconsider how deep your dislike for each other goes.

You’d long hesitated to fight with him, starting to rethink your quick jabs and your constant attitude whenever he walked into a room and clearly he’d picked up on more than you ever realized, obvious by him so easily knowing your comfort snacks or the way to calm you down.

“You know,” Your eyes snapped back up to his when he started to speak in a low voice as you waited to hear what he had to say. He looked a bit nervous, like he was about to confess something and you gave him your full attention. “When we used to fight as teenagers, I’d always feel so terrible for making you storm home. Even started playing guitar with my window open so you could hear it.”

Your entire world view shattered just off of that simple admission alone and a heavy sob interrupted whatever else he was going to say, his eyes widening in surprise for just a moment before you were leaning over onto him fully and throwing yourself into a tight hug.

He eagerly accepted although not understanding the true weight he’d just released from your shoulders and you felt him let out a big breath of relief now that you were in his arms, his hands rubbing up and down your back as you cried softly.

You didn’t need to hear him say that he felt the same way that you did, as confusing and scary as it was after projecting your anger onto each other for so long. Your heart tore up thinking about that young girl in her bedroom just holding onto the silly childish hope that the boy next door was actually playing for her, now knowing it wasn’t foolish at all and he’d been right there hoping she was listening.

It hurt you to think about how much time you’d wasted carrying on a childish feud and how whatever this was had started off being such a disaster of jealously and toxic back and forth.

But you were immediately soothed by the never wavering feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around you and the gentle sound of the waves crashing on the shore, spending one last summer on the beach that raised you and creating your first one with the boy you loved.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #enhypen smut #heeseung au #enhypen au #heeseung fic #lee heeseung

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brooooswriting · 3 months

Note

Could you please write Leighton giving r some lessons in math cause r is terrible but needs to pass the course

R going with leighton to shop different things

Progressing to a relationship

You can do whatever you desire with this 😅

Tutors to lovers

Every day, your parents showed that they knew nothing about you. You didn't wanna go to Essex, and you definitely didn't wanna take advanced math, but they made sure that it was impossible for you to get out of it. Their demands on you were crazy; a 3.7 GPA was what they called terrible. And with your current understanding of advanced math? You were so fucked, and the person sitting next to you thought the same thing.

“Psst, look. You gotta divide this by 4, and then you have to calculate its root. Then you have 6 as the value of on x.” Leighton whispered to you, hoping to help you understand what the teacher was doing at the front. But the way you looked at her so helplessly and confused made her laugh louder than she intended to.

After class, you quickly stopped the blonde before she could walk out. “Leighton, hey. Thank you for trying to help me. Can I buy you a coffee as a thanks?” you asked with a small smile. She looked at you for a second before nodding. “Alright, then follow me” you walked out and towards sips, making small talk on the way there.

“After you,” you mumbled as you opened the door to the coffee shop for her. She thanked you and walked in, looking around the place. “What? Have you never been here before?” you asked with a small laugh, signaling that you were joking.

She looked at you for a moment before scrunching up her nose a bit and shaking her head. “No, never been. Not the biggest fan of cheap coffee and of whatever it smells like in here.” You grinned slightly as you walked toward the counter, your wallet already in hand.

“Yeah, well, I would have taken you to a more fancy place, but we both have another class in 20 minutes, and a good coffee is like 15 minutes away.” Leighton nodded, an understanding look on her face as you stepped up to the counter. After she told you what she wants to drink, you turn towards the counter again. “Oh, hey, Kimberly. How are you? Can I get two iced lattes and two blueberry muffins?”

“Y/n, it's so great to see you. I'm fine, thank you. How are you?” you talked for a bit while you paid, and she made your coffee, the blonde only standing behind you. “Alright, here you are. Have a great day, see you later Leighton” Both of you said goodbye before sitting on a park bank outside.

“So, can I ask you something?” Leighton asked as you played with her straw. You nodded, waiting for her to ask as you watched people walk by. “Why are you taking advanced math? Not to be rude, but you suck at it”

You laughed slightly before taking a deep breath. “Well, my father took it, my mother took it and my sister at Harvard is taking it. So, even if I suck at it and hate it, I have to take it too. But it seems like I’m failing it” you explained, looking at her for a second before continuing, “unlessssss someone would be willing to tutor me.” The grin you sent her made her smile while looking down at the bench to hide her slight blush.

“You know what, fine. Why not. Come by my dorm tomorrow at 5 ok?” The blonde didn’t even wait for an answer before she walked off, joining Bella on her way to the next class.

The next day you arrived at her dorm at 5 pm sharp, being greeted by Kimberly and Whitney who sat in their common room. “Hey y/n, Leighton is still in her room” Kimberly started but was quickly interrupted.

“Oh my god Bella” leighton screamed from inside their room, “can’t you just fuck him anywhere else? Jeez, i have a tutoring lesson in here”

“This isn’t just your room Leighton. This is our room and it’s made for sleeping” Bella argued back making you girls in the living room giggle.

“Dude, that’s so fucked from you. Keep away from my bed! If one thing is out of place later you’re in trouble!” The three of you stopped giggling as Leighton stormed out of the door, nearly running into you. “Y/n, let’s go. We gonna go to the library or some shit because somebody is being intolerable” she screamed the last part making you laugh.

“Alright, come on. You gotta calm down” you pulled Leighton out of the room, saying goodbye to the rest of her dorm mates. You went into the library where you sat down, and minutes later you were desperate for it to stop.

“Y/n, cmon. You gotta concentrate dude, it’s not that hard” the blonde complained as she went over the same exercise again and again.

“It may not be hard for you blondie, but I’m dying over here. I would even fail basic math class, there is no way I’ll ever pass this shit” you whimpered out, letting your head hit the table. Normally, stupid and dramatic behavior like this would have annoyed the shit out of her but when you did it? Well it was kinda cute.

“Ok, let’s start new ok? We will start at zero and once you’re at one we will get something to eat?” At the word ‘eat’ you immediately perked up, sitting straighter to find new concentration.

It took over an hour for you to get to at least one but Leighton was sure that the hardest work was now done. Or at least she hoped. “So, cafeteria?” You asked as you stuffed all your books into your bag. You received a nod and took off, happy to finally get some food.

Since your first lesson Leighton helped you during class and like two times a week for an hour to four, depending on how fucked you were. And finally, you went from an E to a c- and you were getting even better. The connection between you and Leighton also got better from time to time, creating a strong and unexpected bond.

‘If I have to listen to any of my roommates even one more second, I’m going to kill all of them and then myself”

You couldn’t help but giggle at Leighton text, parents weekend was coming up again and it made her more nervous every day. And while she, even if she won’t admit, actually loved her roommates their chattiness and stuff could get to her.

‘Be outside your dorm in 2’

You texted back, quickly putting on your shoes and jacket before grabbing your wallet and car keys. In the matter of minutes you stood in front of a perfectly styled blonde who wore an annoyed look until she saw you. It was quickly being replaced with a smile as she walked toward you. “So, why’d you want me to be here?” She asked with a giddy voice, as she couldn’t wait to hear what you planned.

“Let’s go to my car and then I’ll tell you” you lead her to your jeep outside of the campus. “My lady” you grinned as you opened the door for her and stretched out your hand to help her inside.

“Thank you very much, such a gentleman. Sooo where are we going?” She studied your face as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“We are going to do something that relaxes you like nothing else”

“What?” She asked, quite confused.

“We are going shopping” you grinned as you drove on to the highway, “but we might have to drive like an hour or something, there’s nothing close that has your standards” her jaw fell as you stopped talking. She couldnt believe that you actually knew where she liked to shop and that you were just out here driving her there.

“You’re kidding right?” She asked, a squeal leaving her when she figured out that you were telling the truth. “That’s so sweet, thank you”

After over an hour of comfortable driving you finally parked your car near her favorite shops. “Alright princess, let’s go” you grinned as you opened the passenger door, your hand stretched out to help her out. “Where to first?”

Your first shop was YSL which leighton already left with two begs. Or rather you as you immediately took the bags so she could look around in the next shop which was Balenciaga and then Prada, Givenchy, Versace, Dior, Louis Vuitton, and Tom Ford.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry anything?” The blonde asked as she could barely see you underneath all the bags you carried for her. At least one of each brand, or rather at least two of each brand. She couldn’t deny that it was extremely cute, the way you did all of this for her.

“Positive. Are you sure you don’t wanna go anywhere else anymore?” You asked as she walked back to the car. If you were really quiet you could hear her credit card scream.

“Yeah, but maybe we could go and eat something at a real restaurant?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?” You asked while putting the bags in the trunk, the blonde standing next to you. After she found a restaurant she liked you made your way there, even from the outside you could see that it was really fancy. “Are you sure I can go inside like this?” You weren’t dressed badly but definitely not as expensive as her which made you unsure of your outfit.

“Of course, you look good” the smile she sent you made your heart beat faster and your face flush a little red. “Now Let’s go, I’m starving” she was out of the car in the matter of seconds, waiting for you to join her. Once you left the car you walked next to each other, your hands constantly brushing against the other ones. You had heard that Leighton was not a big pda fan so you guessed that it was an accident. But you didn’t pull away in case of this being on purpose.

After you guys ate it was already late and the eventful day was catching up to her as she fell asleep in the car. You smiled at the sight, she looked a lot calmer than most of the time and you couldn’t see one bit of the stress from this morning. When you had to stop on a red light you retrieved your jacket from the backseat and put it over her to act like a blanket.

You carefully tapped her shoulder to wake her up which didn’t work. “Leighton, we are here. Cmon, wake up” you whispered and shook her shoulder.

“M awake” she grumbled as her eyes slowly opened.

“Good, take the time that I need to get your backs to wake up okay?” She gave you a small nod before you disappeared, wondering how you carried all those bags before. After you finally got each and every bag on you, you walked back to the passenger seat where Leighton was finally awake.

“Alright, let’s go” she jumped out of the car, your jacket now over her shoulders and her pinky linked with yours as she pulled you along to her dorm. “You can just put them down over there” she told you as she pointed to the corner next to her closet. “Thank you, a lot. The last days were really stressful and today made me forget about it” you smiled at her, taking a step forward.

“It was my pleasure. Weirdly, I can’t think of anything better than carrying your bags for you” she giggles shyly and also takes a step toward you. Your hand gravitates towards her waist while hers carefully rests on your shoulder. You leaned in further, your lips slightly touching as your hand tightened around her waist. But before you could do anything else, Bella came in.

“Leighton! Guess what” she started to scream out, making you pull away quickly. Your hands left her waist and were immediately pushed into your pockets. “Oh my god, did I just cockblock you?” The dark haired girl screamed even louder making both of you cringe.

“No, no you didn’t. I gotta go, I have class really early tomorrow. Thanks again Leigh and I’ll see you around Bella” you quickly left the room without looking back but you could still feel the blondes nerves.

You decided that you’d talk to her tomorrow, it was late and she probably had to listen to Bella ramble about whatever was going on. So tomorrow just seemed like the safer option, at least until it was later the next day and you still haven’t seen her. It was Friday which meant that you didn’t have a course with her and you were extremely busy. But as you were scared that she might think that you were trying to avoid her.

“Sad I didn’t see you today. Sorry I left so quickly, but I couldn’t stay after Bella said whatever she said. Can’t wait to see you again :)”

You took a deep breath before hitting send. By now you were scarred that she might be avoiding you and that she was actually very unhappy about the kiss. What you didn’t know was that Leightons heart started to beat faster when she saw your name pop up on her screen. She was scared of what might now be between you two after you left so suddenly.

“Whose text are you smiling at like that?” Whitney asked as they all sat in the common room. While she did try to annoy her roommate she was more than happy to see her friend like this.

“None of your business” she grumbled, her smile still being very apparent.

“Oh, I bet it’s y/n” Kimberly shyly added. She was good with Leighton but she sometimes still scared her.

“Gosh, they would be a hot ass couple. Y/n’s hot. Damn you’re a lucky lady” Bella said, slapping her hand on the blondes leg which made her glare at her.

“Remember how I said none of your business?” They all laughed as she returned to her phone.

“Get that, wished I could have left too. I thought you were avoiding me. I’ll see you tomorrow right? Are u bringing ur parents to math too?”

You immediately opened the chat, not giving a damn about seeming needy.

“Ofc, that’s the only reason they’re coming. Couldn’t dream of avoiding u, wanna meet up before math tomorrow?”

After you talked about when and where you’d meet tomorrow you texted her goodnight and went to sleep, your mind filled with pictures of the blonde.

The next morning you were up way too early but when your parents came you had to get ready a lot more than normally. “There you are y/n” your mother called out as she walked up to you with open arms, a fake smile on her face. You hugged all of them as a greeting before standing opposite of them.

“Alright, we will go to that parents thing and then we will come to your math class ok?” Your father didn’t wait for an answer as they walked away making you sigh. You, just as many others, were more than happy about this parents thing today. It gave you some peace and quiet.

Leighton was waiting for you in front of the lecture room, the new bag she bought with you slung over her shoulder. “Hey” you smiled shyly as walked up to her, her face adorned with a similar one.

“Hello” she looked around before continuing to talk, “I am so happy about this parent meeting. I was about to kill myself” you laughed nodding.

“You’re telling that to me? My parents asked about this course before asking about me. And I wish I were joking” both of you laughed before just staring at each other for a moment. In a moment of confidence the blonde pulled you into the empty room, she smiled brightly as she noticed that you happily followed.

The moment the door closed, your hands were on her hips and hers were cupping the back of your neck. You didn’t need any words before your lips crashed against each other, her scent developing you whole. Without breaking the kiss you guided her against the wall, her back making harsh contact with it. “Sorry” you mumbled when she gasped, barely breaking the kiss. You kept making out until the blondes phone started to ring.

“Let it ring” she mumbled when she noticed that you were pulling away. You laughed and tried to pull away again but she kept pulling you closer or chasing your lips.

“Leigh, I’d love to keep making out. Trust me. But our parents are gonna come soon and if I had to guess I’d say that this is your dad” you explained as you pulled away, your hands rubbing along her hips. She groaned before looking at her phone, seeing that you were right. With another groan she answered the phone, the arm around your neck keeping you close. Since you got bored when she was on the phone, you started to lightly kiss her neck up and down.

She bit her lip to stop her giggles, but she didn’t push you away. Instead she pulled you even closer, just waiting to hang up. When she finally did, she gave you a quick kiss. “My parents will be here in 10 minutes” she told you, her fingers playing with the baby hair on the back of your neck.

“Then we should probably fix your makeup and my hair huh?” You asked as one of your hands ran through your hair. When you received a nod you opened your hand for her to give you her pocket mirror so she could see what she was doing.

“You’re a great mirror holder babe” she joked when she was done freshening up her makeup and then fixed your hair for you.

“Babe?” You grinned watching her face fall and her confidence suddenly replaced with doubt.

“I mean- yeah, we are- I thought” you decided to interrupt her as her behavior freaked you out. A not confident Leighton was a new world.

“You thought right, I was just messing with you. Cmere” you pulled her closer for another kiss, that quickly turned into multiple small pecks.

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N” your mothers voice suddenly rang.

Gosh, you were fucked.

#reader insert #brooooswriting #leighton murray x reader #renee rapp x reader #tslocg x reader

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cutielando · 5 months

Text

legacy ~ max verstappen

Summary: Yours and Max's son is starting his karting career and continuing his father's legacy, making Max and you reminisce about his glory days in Red Bull.

Words: 1.2k+

♡♡♡♡♡

"I'm so nervous. Why am I so nervous?" Max asked you as he stressed around, going in circles.

"Now you know how I've been feeling for the best 15 years, honey" you chuckled as you patted him on the back.

Yours and Max' eldest son had his first karting race today and Max has been the most worried parent in the world.

From checking his car over and over again, to making sure his gear would keep him perfectly safe, to talking him through every single thing he would ever need to know multiple times leading up to the race.

Your son was more than ready.

But Max still couldn't help but worry.

He was so happy when Y/S/N started showing interest in karting at a young age, glad that he could share his life's work with his son.

He had taken your little family to multiple races ever since he decided to retire from racing after he won his 10th WDC title. He loved explaining to your boy all about the cars, how they worked and how they managed to go so fast, basking in the curious gaze of your little boy.

Now that it was really down to his first karting race, Max was slowly starting to regret indulging his son's passion for racing sports.

"This is karma biting me in the ass, isn't it?" he asked slowly, still agitated.

"Yup" you smiled, crouching down when you saw your son running towards you.

"Mommy! Daddy! Are you ready to watch me?" Y/S/N asked once he reached you and gave you a hug, going to hug Max's tall body next.

"Of course we are, sweetie. We'll be cheering you on the entire time" you kissed his head before getting up, checking your phone quickly.

You had left your baby girl at home with your sister, skeptical about bringing her to the rink when she was still so young.

Y/S/N understood, even though he had wanted her there with him. He knew she was too young to even understand what he was doing.

"Now, remember what we talked about..." Max started telling your son and you zoned out, watching the two of them interacting.

You had come such a long way from when you first started dating. You never believed you would actually get to this point, happily married with 2 amazing and beautiful children. And yet, here you were, happier than ever, Max stressed as ever as well.

"Mommy, can you tell dad to stop worrying?" your boy asked as he took your hand and pulled you out of your thoughts.

You laughed and ruffled his hair. "Believe me, it's all I've been trying to do ever since we left home this morning"

Max rolled his eyes but smiled, worry still etched on his face.

♡♡♡♡♡

The race was well underway and your son was absolutely dominating every other small driver in the race.

He was leading and had managed to create a very impressive gap between him and the others, doing wonders on the track.

You kept stealing glances at Max who didn't let up his focus and concentration for even a second, his eyes glued to the screens and sometimes darting to the track when your son would pass you.

"And the winner is... Y/S/N Verstappen!" the commentator yelled out when the race had finally finished and your boy had come in first.

Max cheered loudly, quickly disregarding his headphones and scooping you up in his arms, both of you laughing and cheering.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Y/S/N yelled as he parked his car, got out and immediately spotted you in the big crowd of proud parents.

"You did it! You were so good, my love" you gushed as you helped him take off his helmet so you could hug him properly.

"Daddy! Did you see how good I was? I did it for you!" Y/S/N yelled out as you let go of him and he jumped into Max's awaiting arms.

"You did so good, my boy!" Max kissed the boy on the cheek and squeezed him tightly, making eye contact with you over the boy's shoulder.

You teared up a little, watching the two most important boys in your life embracing after such a big moment in your little boy's life.

It made you think of Max in his racing days, how you got the exact same feeling when he would be the one winning races.

He had some competition now.

♡♡♡♡♡

After taking Y/S/N for some well-deserved ice cream and some cheat food, the three of you made your way home, knowing your sister would probably be overwhelmed with your little girl.

"We're home!" you announced as soon as you entered the house, your sister and your daughter immediately appearing out of the kitchen.

"Hi, baby!" you cooed as you took your girl, her eyes wide and her smile wide as she recognized her mama cradling her.

"How was she today?" Max asked as he gave your sister a quick hug before opening the spare room and depositing Y/S/N's karting gear.

"Can I talk to her, mom?" your boy asked eagerly, and you knew he wanted to tell her all about his race.

You nodded and after saying goodbye to your sister, the four of you went to the living room, taking a seat on the couch.

You carefully put your daughter in your son's arms, and the moment she had settled down, Y/S/N started telling her every single detail about the race, her blabbing away happily as she watched her brother with wide eyes.

You knew she couldn't understand a word he was saying, but watching him with her made your heart explode with happiness.

♡♡♡♡♡

"What are you thinking about?" you asked Max once you went back downstairs after putting your children to bed.

Max was sitting on the couch, holding a trophy and a photo frame in his hands.

As you took a seat next to him, you recognized the trophy as being the last World Champion title he received before retiring, and the photo was of you two, holding newborn Y/S/N in your arms on the podium with him.

You smiled at the fond memories, remembering both days like it was yesterday.

"He reminds me of myself" he quietly said, a ghost of a smile present on his lips.

"He will give you a run for your money one day" you joked, bumping your shoulder with his.

He chuckled and nodded, but you noticed his smile didn't reach his eyes like it usually did when you would talk about your son.

"What's wrong?" you started rubbing circles on his back, feeling the tense muscles under your touch.

"I don't want him going through the same things I did" he explained, setting down both the trophy and the photo frame.

You took his face in your hands and made him face you.

"He's not going to go through that because he has us. We will make sure of that"

"I know, but we both know there will be talk because he's my son. Just like there was talk about me when I first started racing" he continued, looking down at his lap.

"Listen to me. Y/S/N has talent like I've never seen before in someone his age" Max mimics a look of offense, but you continue nonetheless. "People are going to see how talented he is and they won't even think about saying bad things about him or belittling him or his talent. He still has a very long way to go, my love"

Max pondered for a moment but nodded, wrapping his arms around you.

"I love you so much, you're the best mother I could have ever asked for for them" he whispered in your ear, kissing the spot just behind it.

"And you're the best father this world has ever seen. I love you, baby"

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green-aeggs-and-spam · 1 month

Text

A Defense of Viserra Targaryen

I just realized I've never actually collected these thoughts in one place, so it's time for me to do so.

This is the main quote from F&B used as character evidence for Viserra:

No squire was ever going to win Viserra, Queen Alysanne knew; not her heart, and certainly not her maidenhead. She was far too sly a child to go down the same path as her sister Saera. "She has no interest in kissing games, nor boys," the queen told Jaehaerys. "She plays with them as she used to play with her puppies, but she would no more lie with one than with a dog. She aims much higher, our Viserra. I have seen the way she preens and prances around Baelon. That is the husband she desires, and not for love of him. She wants to be the queen."

EXCEPT PRINCE AEMON IS STILL ALIVE AND HEALTHY. BAELON IS NOT THE HEIR. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO INDICATION FOR VISERRA THAT MARRYING BAELON WOULD MAKE HER THE QUEEN. ALYSANNE WOULD HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE THIS.

So, what gives?

Maybe this is a situation of "George forgot." He's infamously bad with numbers, after all. Maybe he got his timelines mixed up, and didn't realize that Prince Aemon outlives Viserra by five years and Baelon isn't the heir at the time of her death.

Except Fire & Blood is deliberately written as an in-universe history, and we're supposed to treat it as such, with the understanding that some of what Archmaester Gyldayn says is biased or not 100% accurate. This quote is supposedly from Alysanne to Jaehaerys. Who would have heard this? Who would have written it down? Combine that with the straight up factually incorrect information it's based upon, and this has the makings of an apocryphal quote from a bad source. The factual error undercuts the validity of this entire section, and I don't think it can be blindly accepted as proof of Viserra's character.

So, onto the Baelon incident.

(note: the entire existence of the Baelon Incident can also be called into question, given that Gyldayn begins that section with "if court gossip can be believed." We are not all maesters at the Citadel with access to his bibliography and primary sources, though, so I'll leave that alone for now and choose to treat it as fact.)

Here are our facts: Viserra Targaryen is 15 years old. Her parents have arranged a marriage to an old Northern Lord who has been widowed 4 times already. They have refused to break the betrothal. Viserra has a drinking problem. While drunk (and apparently unsupervised) she manages to sneak into Baelon's bed, naked, in an attempt to "seduce" him.

What's the more likely motive here? That she's a sly manipulative ambitious girl who's just so determined to be queen that she'll seduce poor widowed Baelon? Or that she's drunk and desperate and scared and trying to get her brother to rescue her the same way Jaehaerys once rescued Alysanne?

I rest my case.

#viserra targaryen #baelon targaryen #fire and blood #f&b #valyrianscrolls #i am viserra's number one defender and im not sorry #my stuff

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pedrithink · 1 year

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love is not easy ✩ kylian mbappé

summary: everything seems more difficult when you are the shadow of your older sister and Kylian and her are in love with each other.

Your life has always been about being your sister's shadow and you understand, Ana is incredible. You are so proud of the person she is and extremely grateful that you were chosen to be her sister. But, I don't know? the feeling of emptiness, of never feeling good enough and of always being the second choice in people's lives hurts you a lot.

The way you will always be inferior to her hurts you and you know that no matter what you achieve, she will always achieve something greater and be more glorified for it. Your parents love you, you know that. But, Ana is special and they never let you forget that. To always be in second place, to always feel inferior. Even though when several people are with you, the world seems to be different, the sun seems to be warmer, and the light more intense.

Your thoughts disperse when Ana enters the room dressed in a long black dress and a lot of jewelry adorning her body. "Hey, my little pumpkin. I'm leaving, Kylian is already waiting for me outside." Kylian. Your heart races just hearing that name. "He asked me to check again if you're sure you don't want to go."

Kylian has known you since he was 11 years old (You having 9 and Ana having 11), you saw him as he left for another country to pursue his dream of playing soccer and to come back to Paris and become the world star he is today.

You can't ignore and lie that you have always been in love with him, these feelings didn't come out of nowhere. At the age of 15, when he came into your room and opened up to you, that's when it all started. He revealed all his fears and insecurities and his sincerity so openly, you could only look into those dark eyes and feel bad for falling so intensely in love with someone who was perfect for your sister.

Your parents always expected and made sure that Kylian and Ana would become a couple, and every time they went out together, like now, your heart would tear a little more. It's always been this way and it always will be.

So, during these last few days, you've been trying to ignore Kylian as much as you can to try to make these feelings go away. If pretending they don't exist didn't work, you hope that this way it will. You know it's not fair to him, but you just can't stand to feel it anymore.

You just feel your cell phone vibrating and try to shut off your brain from these painful thoughts, you seem to enjoy hurting yourself by trying to imagine a reality where Kylian would choose you over Ana. You know that's impossible.

Ky <3: Is everything okay?

Ky <3: I can't help but get upset every time you refuse to go to an event with me.

You let out a weak smile. Kylian, unconsciously, was the reason for your pain and, at the same time, was the only person who could make you feel completely alive.

You: i'm fine :)

You: enjoy tonight, mbappé. you deserve it, my world champion. <3

You try to turn off your phone so your brain doesn't activate the curiosity mode and you end up on twitter or instagram, you're not in the mood to hurt yourself by seeing so many pictures of Kylian with Ana right now. It's ok to feel sad because he doesn't feel the same way, but not torture yourself.

Trying to fall asleep when so much is going on around you is so hard. You just want to try to stop thinking about what they must be doing right now, you just want all this feeling of over 8 years to just go away. It's not fair to feel all of this alone, to endure all of this alone. Kylian is in love with Ana and she is in love with him. You have to accept this and move on with your life.

As you try to dispel these exhausting thoughts, your mind will shut down and you will finally be able to sleep.

The next morning, as you are walking down the stairs towards the kitchen, you hear different footsteps. Ana is not so cheerful in the morning, actually, she has always been a night person.

As you enter the kitchen you are startled by the figure of Kylian preparing breakfast.

He turns around and is startled by your totally static presence. "Hey, beautiful." Kylian approaches you to deposit a kiss on your head. "Are you running away from me? I've missed you these last few days."

You let out a nervous laugh and disperse from the half-hug Kylian has formed. "Of course not, Ky." You pick up a mug and pour in some of the coffee Kylian prepared this morning. "I'm just busy with college, that's all."

He doesn't believe you because he knows you, he can tell for sure when you are lying: "If you don't want to go out with me, you don't have to lie." He makes it obvious that he's upset that you keep running away from anything involving him.

"It's not that, Ky. It really isn't." You snap back and take his hand while leaving a caress, moving your thumb up and down his hand. "It's just that…Ana does better in your world." You let out a weak laugh to try to get him to relax, you don't know, but he's afraid of losing you. "I'm weird, you know."

He makes a disapproving expression under your self-deprecating manner and pulls you into another hug. "My world is only the one that can fit you, there is nothing about me that you are not included."

With your heart racing you detach yourself again from the embrace formed by Kylian and try to ignore that girl in love look your brain almost commands you to make. It's surreal, it seems that this feeling will never go away. Loving Kylian is a part of you.

You are so lost in this moment with Kylian that you only realize that Ana is there when he turns to deposit a kiss on her head. "Good morning, how are we today?" Ana hugs you and deposits a kiss on your cheek, she stays for a few minutes hugging you from the side until she leaves to get some coffee.

You try to ignore and put out of your mind all that moment with Kylian and what he said, you're tired of torturing yourself this way. Kylian doesn't like you and it's time to you got over it and moved on.

When we are all present for breakfast, you try to ignore all curiosity, but it overcomes you. "How was yesterday?"

You notice the way Ana lets out a weak laugh as she stares at Kylian. "It was good, pumpkin. It's always nice to be surrounded by this guy here." He winks at her and briefly strokes her hair. "What about yours? How was it?"

"Normal, same as always."

When you finish eating, you stand up and quickly say that you will go upstairs to your room. Ana and Kylian find it strange that you are so distant, since you have always been a lively person in the morning and always, literally always, started the conversation when you guys are at the breakfast table. Ana keeps it in mind to ask you later what is going on.

While you just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. You love Ana and you love Kylian, please don't misunderstand. You are happy for them, but the pain consumes you. The pain can be bigger than anything you have seen in the past eight years. You always had it in mind that they would end up together, but you didn't know that you were not ready for when this moment finally came. The feeling of unrequited love is different, intimate, merciless. It is like throwing a ball into the sky and it, defying gravity, disappears. And it is impossible not to stand there waiting for it to come back.

Keeping a feeling in silence is very bad, but, sometimes, you have to stop, reflect and feel it yourself. And you can't choose how you feel, but you can choose what to do about it. And now you know for sure that you will do everything to forget Kylian.

part 2 / part 3

note: so...let me know if you want a part 2 or 3 for this :* xx

#kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe angst #kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian mbappe fanfic #football one shot #football x reader #football fanfic #kylian x reader #kylian imagines #football imagine

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for starting shit with a 15 year old??

Alrighty here’s our cast:

I’m OP, I’m 19 years old, I’m FtM trans but not out nor have I started transitioning medically. I’ve graduated but live at home while I attend college

I have a little sister named “Janet”, she’s 16 and a sophomore. She’s popular, friendly, and had a big friend group

Janet has a friend named “Amy” who’s 15. Amy is the kid I think I started beef with

Okay for the story;

Janet is the leader of her group. She’s got the strongest personality and is the most sociable. Almost all the kids in her group are comfortably upper class while Janet and I are sitting very middle class. It’s always very jarring when I drop Janet off at a friend’s house and it’s a literal mansion.

Amy is who introduced Janet to this group, but it became quickly very clear that Amy has never been told “no” in her life. She’s controlling, spoiled, and jealous. Now, I’ve hung out with Amy before (Janet was there too, we were at a get together and Amy tagged along with us) and she’s a sweet girl, but definitely a product of her environment.

Now, over the last few weeks, things have spiraled out of control for that group. Amy got a boyfriend and has been repeatedly picked to spend time with him and made her friends (Janet’s group) feel like shit about it. Her boyfriend was always invited to group things, but Amy refused to let him join. She cited the other girls (who are all either lesbians or dating other boys) as trying to “steal her man”. She’s very insecure about herself and I genuinely feel bad for her

Recently, she’s been left out of group activities because she chose not to attend, but then later would send the group hateful messages on social media or would vague post about them being pieces of shit because they didn’t insist that she attend. Janet’s been under fire the most along with another girl named “Christina”. Amy even went as far as to out Christina as bisexual on Snapchat because Christina pointed out that Amy could have attended their Halloween party at any time as it lasted for seven hours

So Amy’s a mess.

Now, recently (again), Janet started talking to a boy we’ll call “Jeremy”. Jeremy’s a sweet guy, he’s in band, he’s still a dork because he’s a high school sophomore, but he’s still a cool kid. One day, Jeremy sends a bunch of screenshots to Janet from Amy. Amy, who has a boyfriend as mentioned above. Amy was not only flirting with Jeremy, but also talking shit about me and my family. She called my mom fat, said my dad was lying about having cancer (he’s a terminal colon cancer patient), called my twin sister an ugly control freak, and me a “gay whore who acts like a man” (LMAOOOO).

Here’s where I may be the asshole. I got Amy’s number from Janet’s phone and sent her what’s basically an essay calling her out for these insults and also threatening to screw her parents. I told her to never contact Janet again and that I hope she got over her insecurities. I know her insults weren’t directed towards me nor was I supposed to see them, but I can’t stand people talking about my family. I know I shouldn’t have contacted her, especially behind Janet’s back, but I wanted to defend myself and my family

Anyways, if I’m voted the asshole for sticking my nose in high schoolers’ business, I’d completely understand

🧐

^^^ so I can find this again 😭

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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brights-place · 2 months

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Hi I was wondering if you could please do brozone with a younger sister reader (like 17-15) and she wants to introduce her gf but she’s scared on how they’ll react (they’re supportive) but she’s just scared but in the end they’re supportive and LOVE her gf 🫶🫶🫶

Brozone with a F! Sister who introduces her GF

Pairings: Brozone X Reader (Platonic) Warnings: Homophobia Mentioned, Fluff, Angst A/N: Okay this request was so GOOD! I'm so happy to write this! also sorry for not posting alot! I had to finish some Tests and exams! Imma be going to a farm for 3 days so I'll try upload the best I can

- You were so scared Like REALLY scared that they wouldn't support you yet your wonderful GF kissed your cheek and told you to relax

- Although you know your family was always supportive of you but you couldn't help but worry about how they would react to the news - You were fierce and independent person who love your girlfriend deeply but yet you struggle with expressing your feelings due to a lack of parents and well siblings... - While your Girlfriend! She was a strong and supportive partner who loves you deeply and is willing to be there for hyou no matter what. She is accepting and understanding of your feelings and always does her best to make you happy! as she also will understand how you feel about introducing her - You were excited and nervous to introduce (GF/N) to your brothers, as you wants them to like her as much as you do but is also worried about how they'll react since they haven't met any of her previous significant others.

- GF/N is supportive of (Name) and helps her feel more confident and at ease during the meeting. She's willing to answer any questions that Name's brothers may have and shows genuine interest in getting to know them.

- As soon as (Name) opened the door to leave their house with her girlfriend standing beside you. You couldn't help but smile and feel your heart skipped a beat. - (Name) took her hand and took a deep breath before heading over to Your second older brother bruce is Restaurant

- Everyone looked up as (Name) walked in with a girl they didn't recognize behind her. - You looked nervous but also happy as you explained that you had brought a surprise guest to meet them. - John Dory gasped and nudged Bruce's shoulder, who froze mid-serving food to his siblings. Clay stared at Name with Floyd dropping his fork and Branch staring at her with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. - You were thankful to have GF/N by her side and knows that you can trust her with anything. - All of a sudden, they froze before hugging and greeting (GF/N). (GF/N) smiled warmly and returned the greeting, feeling welcomed by Name's siblings.

- You gave a soft smile to them tearing up as you fault your heart beat faster to see your siblings greeting (GF/N) with a smile

- Your heart swelled with joy and the stress of the situation began to melt away. - Watching your siblings embrace your girlfriend you felt a sense of relief and happiness that everything had worked out so well. - The anxiety you had been feeling earlier was replaced with a sense of acceptance and love, and you couldn't help but smile at the sight before you.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

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mrkeatingsblazer · 7 days

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The Prophecy [Oh, Was It Punishment?] Part One

Apollo x Child of Hermes! Reader

Part one Part Two

“No man of mortal blood could ever love you.”

It rings in your ears; the words of Eros haunting you till this day. It was no major exposure like that of Nico’s, who was forced to come out to both Jason and you to appease the love God, but still; you felt as though the ugly truth of your soul was revealed to the two boys and you recall that you never liked surprises. Even though the sentence rushes and pillages through your mind like a crazed wave, you’re strangely enough soothed by it. To know that every worry and concern of your ability to be loved was not from any fault of your own but rather the weaving of the fates comforts you to the point of sighing in relief. It’s not you but what was forced of you, a true demi-god faith if you do say so yourself.

You have never been a stranger to a prophecy, being a big aid to Percy during the war against Kronos and your half-brother, Luke, and being a member of The Eight, destined to defeat Mother Earth herself, Gaia. As much as you despise prophecies you can’t help understand the glory of the previous ones you’ve been a part of. Sure, a couple friends and families die but at least you get the title of Hero of Olympus, am I right? This prophecy [is it even a prophecy or just a God's way of giving a diss] is just downright depressing. Almost as depressing as when your Godly parent was revealed.

At 15 years old, after defeating Atlas and rescuing both Lady Artemis and Annabeth, you stood as an unclaimed child watching as the Gods debated if you should all just be killed. It was only when Artemis was asking you, along with Thalia and Annabeth, to join her hunt did anyone question parentage.

“And you [name], who has not been claimed by God or Goddess alike, allow me to claim you as my own and join as a member of my hunt,” Artemis spoke with such kindness, almost reminiscent of a mother. You shook your head at that thought; she was definitely more like a big sister. Before you could even begin to respond to the Goddess, Zeus raised his hand into the air.

“The child's parent should be given the chance to claim her,” he declared with an air of authority, “before any decisions are made.”

“She is 15 solstices of age, has that not been enough time for the child's parent to claim,” Artemis rebukes with narrowed eyes only to be met with the same expression from her father.

“You first take my daughter, whom I allowed to be given,“ you heard Thalia scoff from beside you, “and now you fight against my order, purposely trying to disobey me in public.” His voice comes out icy and dangerous.

“father -” Apollo nervously begins from the throne beside his sister.

“Quiet Apollon!” Zeus demands. “If any one here owns the child speak now.”

The zoom grows silent, you watch as the Gods’ and Goddess’, interested or not, scanned the zoom waiting for someone to pipe in. Tears built up in your eyes and a lump began to form in your throat, you didn’t even have time to process or even blush when Percy slid his hand into yours, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Your eyes landed on Apollo, to his concerned frown and his perfectly furrowed eyebrow. You recall meeting him barely weeks before now, finding him alluring and bubbly as he chatted with you during the ride on his Sun Chariot. When we got to camp, you remember him engaging with his children in envy. He swung them around and messed with their hair, conversing with them with questions about their hobbies while also never failing to make them all laugh and feel included. You always kind of hoped he was your father ever since you found out you were a demi-god. You sloppily used a bow for a month straight before giving it up; everyone knew Apollo always claimed his kids a month into them being at camp. That didn’t stop you from hoping, from writing poetry and sending offerings to him every meal. Even now you hope he says something, eagerly looking at him like a moth to a light.

“She’s one of mine.” Everyone turned towards the direction of the voice, to Hermes who looked as though claiming you was the last thing he wanted to do that day. It made sense, really, and made you feel stupid for not realizing sooner. Grover always said you were a built in lie detector and you ran faster then anyone in camp, probably anyone in the world. You look up hopefully above your head to nothing; he didn’t even use his sign.

“So,” Artemis said, bringing back the attention to herself, “knowing now the God who conceived you, do you accept my offer to join my hunt?”

All eyes were on you, the deities’ large and looming forms leaned closer as if to hear your answer better even though they had perfect hearing. You once again looked, from Lady Artemis, to Lord Zeus, Lord Apollo and back to your father, Hermes. You caught a hint of interest in his deep brown eyes and sadly, that was all you needed.

“I appreciate your offer, my Lady, but I must decline.” you hear sighs from your friends beside you. Percy once again squeezed your hand, sending you one of his charming smiles that made your stomach weak. Hermes seemed quite happy with himself at your decision, as if he wasn’t forced to claim you moments prior, while Lady Artemis gracefully nodded in acceptance and that was it. There was no pulling you aside to talk with your father or even a look as far as you were aware. He partied into the night during the biggest moment of your life.

That memory fades from your mind, the lavish party of Olympus merging into the end of war celebration at Camp Half-Blood. Just like the former, you had no energy to join in with the festivities. With Leo dead there didn’t seem like there was much point to, the rest of The Eight agreed. From across the haggard bench you sat on, you watched as the sun set down upon the camp. It was poetically finite but still you had a stabbing feeling that this wasn’t finished, you weren’t finished.

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homunculus-argument · 8 months

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I've learned to be neutral about other people being religious, but my own experience with it was definitely coloured by my issues with my dad. He was a proper Edgelord Atheist, loathing religions as a whole and christianity in particular, never hesitating to remark about how stupid and backwards or primitive it is. My mother didn't care either way, she only talks about god when she talks about gardening. So he was the only one in the house with any strong opinion about it. And yet, me and my sister were babtised, put into a christian daycare for a while and then put into christian religions classes at school.

I always loathed religion classes as a kid and didn't know why, I hated hearing about it and having to put up with it and always felt like the teacher is just insulting us by lying right at our faces, about something that surely nobody actually believes for real. My childhood best friend was put into the non-christian option despite of coming from the same kind of a vaguely culturally christian background as I did, and I envied her intensely for it. I asked repeatedly to get to go to the non-christian classes as well, and was told "no", because my mother didn't think that letting your kids do that was an option even though my friend's parents clearly had already done it.

I had a serious Edgelord Edgy Atheist phase in my teens, and was wrangled into going through confirmation anyway because Everyone Else's Kids Are Doing It Too. The aforementioned friend got to go through a non-religious version of the same thing, which I had not even known was an option, so I didn't think to ask for it. Being wrangled through jesus classes as a 15-year-old bag of spite who was only marginally self-aware enough to avoid physically wearing a fedora, I was not a pleasure to have in class.

My father was physically present in the house until I was 14, until my mother finally accepted that this man's presence might actually cause physical harm - his drunken attempts to cook almost caused a fire, and he drove drunk with me and my sister on board once - and he reluctantly agreed to be removed from the picture. His absence at home made no impact nor difference in our daily life, the man who sleeps in the spare room just wasn't sleeping in the spare room anymore.

We saw him frequently enough after that, he visited us for family events and joined us for outings. At some points I tried to bond with him, over mutual interests and passions, even tried to prompt him to join me on snide remarks about religions that he used to make all the time, but he would not. He refused to bond with his children even over mutually hating the same things. It slowly occurred to me over time that the reason why christianity had played any role in my life was because he had never, at any point at all, moved a finger to stop it. Harmless or not, he had no instinctive desire to move his children away from things he considered bad. He had hated it enough to make it known that he hates it, but genuinely just did not care enough to consider not letting him children grow up in an environment he loathed.

My father died when I was 17, and I never really mourned him - not out of hatred, but because his death had hardly even altered the empty absence that was his presence in my life. I had grown up with religious classes trying to tell me about a loving god, and I had not understood why I had hated it, why I felt betrayed and lied to. My relationship with the christian god I was taught to understand has been exactly the same as my relationship with my father.

Desperately shrieking into a void that is so vast that not even my own echo would answer, and knowing for certain that the dead silence I'm hearing in return is the complete, absolute absence of a loving Father.

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tartarusknight · 1 year

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The Fallen King and the King of the Freaks | Part 3

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

Steve wasn't planning on actually becoming friends with Hellfire. Not after the obvious way he made them uncomfortable. So, after Eddie helped him, he said to himself that he was done... then Billy picked on him again, and Eddie came to the rescue again. Honestly, it was like Eddie became his white knight.

And Steve... Steve could take care of himself. However, he couldn't stop himself from wanting to be their friend. He hated the way he jumped at the chance to just go to watch them playing a game like he couldn't even stop himself.

Steve didn’t understand why he offered to go watch them after swimming. No, that was a lie. He knew exactly why he did it. He wanted to go. He loved listening to stories. He loved hearing people talk about something they were passionate about. So, it sounded nice. But when lunch was over and he tosses his untouched meal, he regretted it. They were just pitying him and he didn’t need to force his shit on anyone else.

So, he decided he’d just ignore them until they forgot about him completely. It was the day after Hellfire, so he’d have an entire week to become a background thought. It shouldn’t be too difficult… most people only knew Steve’s top layer. People left him behind all the time, Hellfire wouldn’t be any different. After all, everyone who had learned who he was, left him. His parents were gone more than they were around. Nancy called him bullshit after he let her in. Tommy and Carol, his best friends from elementary school, had used him to become more “powerful” and “cool”. Hellfire would be the same way; he knew they would.

Except, they didn’t just let him disappear. Grant would wave at him in the hallways with a kind smile. Gareth had the same free hour and suddenly Steve didn’t sit in the library alone. Eddie would constantly find him during lunch and offer a seat which Steve had turned down with a polite smile. Always saying he needed to work on school shit. (Which was never a lie. His head swam, trying to keep up in class after Billy bashed his head in.) However, the first real interaction with Hellfire was with Jeff.

It was Saturday and Steve stood in the supermarket. The kids were coming over later in the day and Steve got a call from Lucas’s mom asking him to not buy her son junk food. And well, Steve knew how to cook. However, his house was completely void of any food. He hadn't felt the need to cook if it was just himself lately… After that night Steve’s stomach rebelled against most foods.

He was staring blankly at the meat section for, what could’ve been, a long time when a hand dropped on his shoulder. Steve flinched away and his body went into fight mode before he noticed Jeff. He dropped his hands and gave the other an extremely fake grin. “Hey man,” he smiled and Jeff looked him over as if he could see right through Steve.

“I thought it was you. Your hair is very distinguishable.” He joked and Steve let out a small chuckle.

“Well I’m called The Hair for a reason,” his voice didn’t hold much joy in it and he winced.

“So, what brings you here?” He asks lamely.

Jeff shrugs, “gotta pick up stuff for my mom. Same for you?”

Steve huffed a laugh, “nah, she’s not in town. But I’ve got a few of the kids coming over and need to make them something that their parents would approve of.” He over-explained but Jeff just nodded.

“Struggling with a plan?” He asked like he wanted to talk with Steve. “Not a big cook?” He asked when Steve didn’t respond.

It makes him smile, “oh I know how to cook. When your al-” he stops himself with clearing his throat. “Nah, just not really feeling meat at the moment.” He gestures and when his gaze hits the bloody meat he shudders.

“There are lots of meatless options out there.” Jeff offers and Steve freezes, he hadn't even considered that. After all, he was told every meal needed a good amount of protein. “My sister doesn’t eat meat. So we’ve learned how to work around it. It’s a little different but still,” he shrugs and Steve’s brow furrowed. “It’s a little hard to get the hang of right away but with practice, you should be able to get it down.”

That makes Steve frown, “I don’t really have the time to experiment.” He swallows and looks back to the meat selection.

Jeff nudged him with his shoulder, “If you want I could help. I’m not that busy today.”

Steve felt something swell in his chest. “Really? I don’t want to be a-”

Jeff scoffed, “please I’d love to help. Showing off to King Steve. It sounds like fun. Plus, then I have an excuse to leave the house.” Steve nods and Jeff gestures him to follow. Jeff puts things in Steve’s basket with an explanation to what he’s planning and Steve just nods. He also helps Jeff get the stuff for his mom before heading to his house.

He only has a few moments alone in which he grabs out his stereo and sets it on some rock station he figured would be more Jeff’s speed. Then he cleans the dust off his counters and waits for the other. It doesn’t take too long and Jeff takes off his shoes politely before he follows Steve into the empty shell of a house. “Okay, are you ready?” Jeff questions and Steve nods. They work together, Jeff giving him instructions. However, they also talked about music, Steve mostly just listened as Jeff explains some songs that he likes. It’s nice. It’s like having a friend and it makes Steve’s hands shake. He didn’t want to let them in. And yet he let Jeff into his house.

They end up making Vegetarian Enchiladas. It’s filled with corn, beans, and zucchini. Topped with cheese, avocado, tomato, and parsley. However, Jeff makes them look normal and Steve hopes the kids won’t notice. “I’ve got two younger siblings. My sister doesn’t do meat and my brother refuses vegetables. I’ve gotten really good at making a vegetarian meal that he will eat. Don’t worry the kids will just think you made them normal enchiladas.” Jeff says and Steve leans against his counter, so fucking thankful.

“So, you cook normally?” Jeff questions as Steve grabs them both out a soda he got for the kids.

He nods, “yeah. My mom’s not one to cook” at least not for me. “So, I’ve learned.” He does look at Jeff and his shoulders slump. “Thanks for the help, man. It was really appreciated. Honestly, it’s a big help. I have to repay you, or something.” He states and Jeff looks confused.

“No need, it’s not a big deal.” He stated but people weren’t nice without wanting something in return. Not many people were kind as they grew up.

Jeff seemed to see Steve’s confusion and sighed. “You know what, how about you bring cookies or something to Hellfire’s next meeting. You’re still stopping by after swimming, right?”

It was a chance to get away from going. Steve could just say, no man something came up. But instead, he grinned, “yeah of course. Any allergies?”

“Grant’s allergic to tree nuts,” Jeff offers, and Steve’s phone rings. “But I’ll get out of your hair, just remember they cook for 12 minutes at 400.” He reminded and headed out. Steve went to the phone as the door to his house shut. Why couldn’t he let go of the Hellfire club?

@zerokrox-bloglog @cyranyxx @adaed5 @the-redthreadd @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaringceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshitorthisshit @failedstarsandgoldencloudsds @bisexualdisastersworldd @deadlydodoss @anythingyouwanttobee @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaverr @thehumblefigtreee @megzdoodlee @swimmingbirdrunningrockk @mightbeasleepp @bxlthazarar @autumnal-dawnn @nelotegreitic @chillichatss @nonbinary-eddie-munsonon @the-daydreamer-in-the-cornerner @eddie-munson-is-my-wifewife @a-little-unsteddiedie

(Sorry if I missed any of you!!! Please remind me if I did!)

(No actual Steddie but just some good old CC content. I want more than just Steve and Eddie to become friends. I want the whole CC to adopt the jock<3<3)

#stranger things #season 2 au #steve needs a hug #steve harrington #steddie #corroded coffin #i love these idiots #king steve #hellfire club #i wrote this instead of the actual story i'm working on #i hate tagging #bro im so tired #the fallen king and the king of the freaks

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thoughtspresso · 10 months

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Aqua plans to die.

And his death will be necessary to take Kamiki down.

While the full details of Aqua’s revenge plan isn’t entirely clear to all of us yet, his intention to place himself in danger as he tries to take Kamiki down is a very clear, and very crucial part of the plot that he anticipates.

Before we can dive into how Aqua is going to achieve his revenge, we need to back up a little bit and understand who he is as a person, how he makes decisions, and what he personally wants.

What is Aqua’s Goal?

From a top-level view, Aqua has a singular emotional goal:

Aqua wishes to take responsibility for the deaths of his mothers.

Aqua/Gorou absolutely believes that after two lives of the same thing, that he was the common denominator. He was the fault his mothers both died, because he was useless and helpless. Had he never been conceived, and more crucially, if his mothers did not have to lie about his existence, they would have both stayed alive. If Gorou’s mom didn’t have to conceal the pregnancy from her parents, or did not have one at all, she would have lived a long life. He believes that perhaps his second chance at life was to save Ai, but he was paralyzed and helpless during her murder. He blames himself for Ai’s death too.

This is a driving force in Aqua’s character, and informs all of his decision making, even to the detriment of his own plans most times. It leads us to his supplementary goal:

Aqua wants to keep the people he loves safe.

Whether it was shielding Ruby from entertainment or making sure she’s in a safe agency with good group members, or Akane not going too far in enacting his revenge plot for him, or Kana from steering clear of a career-ending love scandal, Aqua’s key traumas has led him to feel compelled to take action and do whatever it takes to save people if he had the power to do so.

Here is a breakdown of Aqua’s plans, and some key questions we have to ask about each one.

1. Why make a movie called The 15-Year Lie? And what is “Ai’s true wish”?

I have reason to believe that Ai’s DVD for Aqua would have either been a message about wishing to be loved truly and be hated with full honesty for the person she really was, that she wanted her actual self to be revealed to people. In line with that, I think Aqua’s DVD included Gotanda’s original documentary for the B-Komachi dome event. Which is why Gotanda tried to defend Aqua's decision to reveal her secret in chapter 112, and why in chapter 108 Gotanda says about the script that “this is finally my time to fulfill that promise.”

2. What does he mean by “using Arima Kana”?

There were theories circulating that the person who texted Frill Shiranui could have been Aqua, trying to get her to encourage Ruby to play the role of Ai in the film. However, that couldn’t be any farther from the truth. As we know, Aqua was saying that Gotanda should “grow up” and understand that the most important thing for a movie is to succeed commercially first before we talk about artistic value.

If Aqua had full control over the situation, he would have just straight up casted Akane. After all, that was what he initially proposed, and even contacted her for it despite saying he’ll never have anything to do with her again. What he needed, more than anything, was for the film to succeed commercially. And with the headlining actress no longer (a) the most famous celebrity of their generation, or (b) the heralded genius of their generation, Aqua has no other options.

Except: Arima Kana.

I think the aspect of him using her or manipulating her is mainly to encourage her publicity activities. He’ll be encouraging her to do well in her work to garner more star power for the movie to really be a success, and for her to help his sister be the perfect lead for the show. He’s also going to bank on the idea that Kana will do things for him because she has a crush on him, which he only realized in Chapter 102 after Mem-cho points it out, that he can pursuade Kana to get out of the way of his revenge plot if necessary to keep her safe or place her in the spotlight to attract people’s attention for the movie.

While unlikely, he might even encourage her to stay on a little longer until Ruby gets to the Dome performance.

Or, and maybe this is my shipping delulu talking, but it can also be that he’ll try to just be around her frequently to garner media attention about their relationship. In this way, keeping her close without actually dating her could serve a dual purpose: get people talking about them and the movie, but also make sure that Kana stays safe and nobody makes a rumor of pairing her up with anybody else.

Lastly, also not super likely but another option could be to convince her to headline the show, and play Ai in Ruby’s stead.

3. Why does Kaburagi say that the film is bordering on illegal?

This is a truly crucial piece to unveiling Aqua’s plot. We know Kaburagi likes producing shows that include good-looking young people, and that seems to be his main strategy for raking in young audiences and cashing out.

So why would he have hesitated, even for a second, on a plan to cast the top talent of this young generation, on the biggest news Japan has been talking about, handed to him by a first-hand source--the son of Ai himself?

On all accounts, this would have been the perfect formula for a smash success. So why would Kaburagi say things like, “do you have enough evidence”, when everybody already knew about the University student stalker that murdered her? What was so controversial?

Unless, when they said Aqua will play the culprit, they didn’t mean the Ryosuke.

They meant he was playing Hikaru Kamiki.

Here’s what we know about the film, and what I think Aqua is trying to do:

1. Portray Kamiki in the worst possible way and destroy his reputation.

The 15-Year Lie will be a biopic about Ai’s life from when she was starting out as an idol. Ai will be portrayed as a poor girl abandoned by her parents, searching for the true meaning of love. We know that this framing will be part of Ai’s characterization because of the scenes where Ruby struggled the most:

In the search for love, they will show her falling for a young man and talented actor at Theatre Lalalai--that being Hikaru Kamiki. Once he gets Ai pregnant, he abandons her, and she runs off to the countryside to hide from the press. When Ai asked him to come visit her, Kamiki, in wanting to protect his career, attempted to send out a stalker. A few years later, seeing his kids wotagei on social media, he manages to find them again and kill Ai.

It is a complete and utter character assasination of Hikaru Kamiki, and while revealing Ai as a flawed person, draws for the sympathy of the viewers to love Ai for who she truly is. Which is exactly why Gotanda keeps insisting for Ruby to play the role, even when Aqua and Kaburagi have sensible recommendations for Akane and Frill.

At that moment, when Ai dies, Aqua will reveal his face, and openly declare that it was his father who orchestrated it all. Then he might even portray his father murdering Ryosuke himself, instead of the suicide that was reported in the media.

2. Aqua will use himself to bait his father out, and force Kamiki’s hand to kill Aqua.

The main reason why Aqua finds it necessary for the film to be a commercial success is because he needs the general public to be one hundred percent in agreement that Hikaru Kamiki is an evil man that deserves to be jailed. (Whether or not he reveals his name in the film, which he could but doesn’t need to.) This public lynching is his first control.

But here’s the thing: Kamiki didn’t directly murder Himekawa Airi and Hoshino Ai himself. At this point in time, Aqua is not aware of Katayose Yura’s murder either. And there is no evidence that connects Uehara Seijirou and Ryosuke’s suicides as murders by Kamiki’s hands.

And on top of all that, when these things happened, Kamiki was fully a minor.

Akane’s fears and interpretation was that Aqua would murder his own father because it’s the only form of revenge he could enact himself.

But she’s wrong, there’s one more thing Aqua could do: make Kamiki commit murder again. If he kills Aqua, there will now be a murder that the public agrees without a doubt was done by Kamiki himself.

He can go to jail once and for all, or he can also get stabbed by an angry fan--Aqua doesn’t care. All he cares about is that it’s a sure win, and it’s over forever. He launches his sister’s career into the spotlight, he keeps everybody safe, and he atones for the death of his mothers with his own life.

In summary: Aqua plans to get killed by his father, so that an actual murder has occurred for which he could be jailed or publicly ostracized or even killed.

And here’s why I think Aqua will fail:

Aqua’s assumptions about his father are incorrect.

He believes that Kamiki’s reason for killing Ai was because her pregnancy would ruin his reputation and career as a rising actor. That’s why Aqua tries to hit him there. And he believes defaming him might provoke him to get killed.

But I don’t think Kamiki cared about his reputation at all anymore. He left his career as an actor behind after Kindaichi kicked him out of Lalalai, and went on to graduate from Faculty of Science. He never went back in front of the spotlight, instead opening a talent agency around the exact time he believed his kids might be joining the industry.

I have reason to believe that Kamiki thinks murdering Airi and Ai was to protect his children or some other great act of justice against his rapist(s). And that even killing Katayose Yura was done because he didn’t want a liar like her to take the spotlight that was supposedly for his daughter Ruby.

I don’t think Kamiki will harm Aqua.

But I do think he will come forward and expose himself and his twisted justification, and he might even openly give interviews to the media.

Instead, I do believe Kamiki might pay attention to Kana’s honest acting--something he’s never seen before in a person, and try to get close to her somehow. And if Kamiki’s name is not revealed, and if the theories are true that Frill works for Kamiki’s agency, he might recruit Kana to join him.

All this is to say, get Kana out of this manga. Somebody, please save her.

#oshi no ko #oshi no ko spoilers #onk spoilers #onk fantheories #oshi no ko fan theories #Hoshino Aqua #Aqua Hoshino #Arima Kana #Kurokawa Akane #Hoshino Ruby #ruby hoshino #Hikaru Kamiki #Character Analysis #If you're reading these tags please know that Aqua is like Edward Cullen planning to walk in front of the Volturi in broad daylight #And Arima Kana is Bella driving a yellow sports car in full speed trying to not get him murdered #But seriously he blames himself so much we should get Robert P to play him in the live action good god #The Chuunibyou is strong with this one #These are the gambles #I am allowed to be incorrect

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rs-hawk · 4 months

Text

The Thunderbird: Part One

If you like Indigenous mythology, make sure to follow me for updates on my Indigenous Americans Folklore Romance staring January 15, 2024!

You never really listened to your mother about what was out there. You always considered the old stories to be that. Just stories. Everything they talked about could be easily explained by science. Well, maybe not everything, but at least most things. Believing in those stories made you feel like you were playing into the stereotype of a “superstitious Indian”. Frankly, it angered you if you thought about it too much, because if you didn’t, you felt like you were denying such an important part of yourself.

However, if anyone asked, and if you were to look in your heart of hearts, you had to honestly say that you didn’t believe. They’re just stories. Stories made to explain things your ancestors didn’t understand, and to be warnings to keep children safe. Like why you shouldn’t go into the woods alone, or why you should try to find cover during thunderstorms. Maybe if you had listened though, you could have just continued your life.

On New Year’s Eve, you were driving home from your parents’ house. You had work the next day, unfortunately, and your family can get a little out of hand at parties. It wasn’t quite midnight, but you didn’t mind reigning in the New Year alone. You just wanted to be able to get some sleep.

As you thought about how much part of you wished you could have stayed, you saw lightening flash across the sky. You slowed down, wearily watching for another flash, when thunder boomed so loudly your car shook. Your stomach dropped through your feet to the floor, with your heart following when you see what can only be described as a bird the size of a helicopter.

Your entire body trembled as you watched it soar through the dark sky, but even more so when the creature slammed into the ground in front of you. All the stories your mother said came racing back to you. Men turned to monsters by their immoral actions. Creatures too beyond human comprehension, so this is all we can see with our human eyes.

You weren’t sure what happened next, but the hood was ripped off of your car, and the cold winter air seeping into your bones. The creature peered inside at you, chirping and clicking at you. You swallowed hard as it’s long beak picked you up by the collar, dropping you on the ground beside your car. You couldn’t even scream. The fright left you feeling numb.

A caw that sounded like thunder boomed from the beak as it bumped its head against your cheek. Other stories also bubble up from the back of your mind. Creatures beyond humans, who won’t even have a Chief of War as they are above it. Protectors of their cousin nations. Protectors of sister tribes. Those who live just beyond, in the upper world. The closest to Father Sun and Mother Moon that any of Their children will ever be.

You stood up on trembling knees, and the creature just watched you. After a few moments, you started walking along the street, wondering if it would follow you. There was another flash of lighting in the sky, followed by a deep boom of thunder. You know it’s from the bird. As you’re walking, you see a massive pile up ahead. Police cars and ambulances circle the cars, pulling out survivors. If you hadn’t stopped when you saw that thing, you would have been here. In that carnage.

Fear made a lump bubble in your throat as a police officer walked up to you. “Are you alright Miss? It’s freezing out here. Were you involved in the accident?”

“No. No, um, I was attacked a little way back but it left. It destroyed my car so I was going to walk home,” you explained, not wanting to really explain what happened. How could you?

The officer frowned, looking you up and down. “You’re sure that’s what happened?”

Heat flushed your cheeks as you nodded. You knew what he was thinking, but you weren’t drunk. You hadn’t touched a drop. “Yes sir, but I’m alright. I’ll call a tow truck in the morning.”

He grunted out a “fine” before turning away to pay attention to the scene in front of you. The booming of thunder made you wince, drawing your coat closer to you.

To continue this story, check out the IAF Romance Series tier on my Ko-fi here! Hope to see you there

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thankeywa · 1 year

Note

“hiiii i loved your last piece and damn your writting is SO GOOD <3 so i ask you pretty please if you could right about an aged up!lo'ak w aged up!reader where they're in a romantic relationship and finally mate after a couple of months of waiting. THANKS IN ADVANCE LUV YA”

hiiii! so, as you asked me to, this is me fowarding the request! 🫶🏻 i imagine this being with a female reader, something like childhood friends to lovers – the girl would be a na’vi and they grew up together or smt. i also see the reader being a little scared of mating with lo’ak – thinking things like i love this man but he’s so reckless i dont wanna loose him – and shit. i trust you a 100% with this because I KNOW you're gonna make me giggle scream in my pillows and punch the air even if i read your grocery store list.

lmk if you need anything more! lots of love & kisses. 💘💘💕💞💘💖💗💓💗

Chosen | Lo'ak x fem!Omaticaya!reader (Smut)

A.N: Hello there! Sorry this took me so long, but I'm in the middle of exam season and also my birthday was last week and yea lots of stuffs going on. I hope my interpretation of your request will be everything you dreamed of, tbh I went a lil extra, but this story has literally been plaguing me for days and I loved writing it so much!

Summary: fem!Omaticaya!reader x Lo'ak, both reader and Lo'ak are 18/19 in this, usually I write 20+ characters but I was trying to keep the story as close as possible to Na'vi 'marriage traditions, according to them 15 is the age of maturity and I believe parents arrange marriages around that time, but if anyone is uncomfortable with this then please feel free to imagine the characters are older.

T.W.: NSFW, this is pr0n with feelings, but it is detailed. As always, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK OR ANY OF MY ACCOUNTS, thank you. Awkward first-time shenanigans, angst, fluff, and yeah if I missed anything please let me know.

T.W. 2: This turned into a whole ass fic so forewarning for mentions of blood, neglectful parenting, and a near-death experience for a main character.

Word count: 6.355

Mini dictionary for this fic:

Olo'eyktan = clan leader

Kaltxì! = hello

Oeru syaw... = My name is...

Ngaru tut? = And you are?

Sempul= father

Sa'nok= mother

Oe tìwayn...= I love...

Tsahik= spiritual leader

Yawne = beloved

Oeya- = My-

Oel ngati kameie = I see you

Nga yawne lu oer = I love you (You are beloved to me)

Kehe= no

If you have any Lo'ak requests, please send them my way!

Lo'ak had never been chosen for anything in his life.

For as long as he'd remembered, his parents had either been taking every spare moment they had to teach Neteyam the right path in life, so that he would one day be an Olo'eyktan fit enough to succeed his father or alternatively, dote on his sisters. It was at an embarrassingly young age when he discovered that he could have wandered off from the safety of his family and nobody would have taken much notice until the eclipse would come, and it was time to turn in.

Even on those occasions, Lo'ak would try to prove his worth by showing his father a creature he had caught or a place he had 'discovered', but his parents didn't really do much other than reprimand him for his reckless behavior.

"You know you were supposed to help me look after your baby sister today, why is it so hard for you to understand basic instructions?" His father would huff, dragging him back home while carrying Tuk on his shoulders. Lo'ak looked at her. She was a tiny infant, where could she have possibly gone by herself? And why did he have to stick around to look after her, while Neteyam and Kiri were out hunting with their mother?

Eventually, his disappearances stopped raising alarms, as his family had accepted Lo'ak would always find his way back or his brother would be the one to recuperate him. On these occasions, Lo'ak had tried to fit in with the rest of the clan but had quickly discovered his presence wasn't all that welcome among his peers. While they felt the need to respect him because he was the Olo'eyktan's son and Neteyam's brother, his quirks, specifically his hands and his speech pattern were too... different. Too human. A lot of Omaticayans his age had been orphaned as a consequence of the war against the sky people, and Lo'ak was just another reminder of what their presence had left behind. Not to mention he was also friends with Spider, an actual sky person, even though he was born on Pandora and knew nothing of Earth.

On a day like any other, Lo'ak and Spider were playing hide and seek just the two of them, a game Jake had taught them and was too 'human' sounding for the rest of their peers to want to join in, and Lo'ak had found the perfect hiding spot on a tree Spider was never going to be able to climb when a voice startled him so much, he almost fell out of the branch he'd been resting on.

"Kaltxì!" The little Na'vi girl his age greeted him enthusiastically while hanging upside down from the tree branch directly above him. Lo'ak stared at her and felt like prey in the split second it was about to be hit by an arrow. He had never seen such beautiful eyes. And he had never talked to a girl before, other than his sisters. "Oeru syaw y/n." She continued. "Ngaru tut?"

"L-Lo'ak." He managed to say, instinctively hiding his hands behind his back. She looked at him curiously, almost as if to ponder his silence. Then y/n seemed to have a sudden realization. "Now I know!" She exclaimed again loudly, along with switching her language register, but Lo'ak couldn't care less about losing his game of hide and seek with Spider anymore. "You are the Spider's friend. You speak the English. You see? I speak the English too. You can talk to me." Y/n announced rather diplomatically, not knowing that Lo'ak was perfectly capable of speaking Na'vi as well. "Friends?" She reached out her hand, her eyes brimming with hope.

Lo'ak nodded and smiled back at her, still at a loss for words, until he finally said: "Yes, friends." But he didn't dare to shake her hand. Y/n dropped down from the branch she'd been hanging from gracefully, her tail twitching as she inquired: "You are hurt?", trying to get a better look at his hands.

"No!" Lo'ak blurted out, and in doing so he inadvertently put his hands forward to keep y/n at a distance, while he was backed up against the tree trunk, with nowhere else to go except fall to his death. Y/n's comically large eyes took in the sight of his hands, examining them for signs of trauma. But there were none. Lo'ak braced himself for the inevitable rejection. "Big baby." She chided. "Nothing wrong with your hands, see?" Lo'ak let y/n hold his hands up to his face, and Spider found them like that the very next second.

"Ha-ha!" He panted, out of breath from climbing all the way up to where the two Na'vi hadn't been so quiet. "I. Win."

"Win?" Y/n asked, dropping Lo'ak's hands. "Is it a game? Can I play? Oh, and-and my friends as well. You will meet them now. Come."

Lo'ak realized then, that was what it must have felt like to be chosen by someone.

From that day onward, Lo'ak and y/n had been inseparable. He was the first person she'd pick to play on her team once he and Spider had been accepted by her friends, he was the first and sometimes only person she'd tell her 'secrets' to, and as they grew older they would only go out hunting if the other was with them. Ceremonies, dinners, you name it, Lo'ak and y/n were sitting next to each other, trying their best to keep their giggles and whispers at a low volume, something y/n really couldn't help, especially when Neteyam would turn around to reprimand his younger brother.

Y/n got gradually closer with his family as well over the years, being of big help with babysitting Tuk and escorting Kiri to Hellsgate with the rest of her siblings whenever she wanted to visit her mom. Her English had gotten progressively better, and she was as fluent of a speaker as the rest of the Sullys, regretfully owing a lot of her vocab to the two brothers. On a particular outing to the lab, Lo'ak had been in the middle of teasing Kiri about her conception, and y/n was quick to respond to him, intent on defending her friend.

"-their avatars, all alone in the forest-" Lo'ak goaded Kiri, and y/n cut him off before her best friend could insinuate anything else. "As if you would know anything about that, virgin!" His siblings laughed at this.

"Who are you calling virgin, virgin?" He'd snap back, and their argument would usually end up in a scuffle, which he was always the first one to pull away from.

Lo'ak hadn't realized how easy he had it back then, before... Well, before none of them no longer had time to be kids. The sky people came back around the time of Neteyam's 20th birthday, and yet somehow, that hadn't been the most devastating event Lo'ak was about to experience in the days to come.

"Lo'ak listen to me, and for Eywa's sake, don't run off until I'm done talking." Neteyam rested a hand on his shoulder, he had never seen such a pained expression on his brother's face before. "Sempul has been talking to me about responsibility and family, and-"

Lo'ak tsked, shaking his head. "Big surprise there, bro."

"Lo'ak..." Neteyam said sternly, and Lo'ak wondered when exactly had his brother become so much like their father. "I saw him and sa'nok talking to y/n's parents the other day. Saying stuff like she is the only one other than Kiri who truly understands Eywa's will. They've seen her healing abilities, she's been helping out with the war effort under Mo'at instructions. They want her to be the next tshaik, after mother."

Lo'ak couldn't stop the ugly frown that took over his features, and neither could he prevent himself from shoving his brother off him in disdain. "What are you saying?" He asked angrily, even though he already knew the answer to his question.

"You know what I'm saying, bro-"

"You're not my brother!" Lo'ak snarled, and for once in his life actually felt intimidating as he did so. Neteyam looked even more distraught than he had been a few seconds ago, but his agony was nowhere as close as the hell wreaking havoc inside Lo'ak. Y/n was the one thing Lo'ak had in this world that was truly his, and now he was going to have to stand aside while she married his brother. "I love her, I need her." He screamed, the pain in his chest was unlike anything he'd ever felt. "You don't-"

"Exactly, I don't." Neteyam said, trying to recover his younger brother from his anguish. "And I will say no to this union, but you know this decision is out of my hands-"

"Of course, you'll do anything as long as it doesn't interfere with you being the perfect son!" Lo'ak spat with tears in his eyes and Neteyam was quick to raise his voice, something that he almost never did. "Do not say that, Lo'ak. You know that is not true-"

But Lo'ak was done talking. And he had a feeling he didn't want to stick around for the evening ceremony either.

Y/n had remained deadly silent as her parents had given her the news. Tsahik, marriage, Neteyam. At one point it all started to become white noise in her head. All she could think about was Lo'ak. The day they'd both ridden their ikrans for the first time, and had stayed out well passed the eclipse. The hunting excursions, when it was just the two of them. Listening to human music on a device they'd stolen from the lab one time.

"Oe tìwayn Lo'ak." She'd never said it out loud to anyone, but it was true. She loved Lo'ak, and her parents simply couldn't understand. The younger Sully boy was nothing but a troublemaker, a complete mance to the clan and anyone else around him. They were never going to give their beautiful, talented daughter away to a five-fingered freak of nature, no matter how much she begged and pleaded with them.

Y/n felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, not even recollecting how she'd found herself sitting amongst the rest of the clan, as they all faced the tree of souls and the Olo'eyktan began to speak. She couldn't see Lo'ak anywhere. Y/n found it harder and harder to breathe. He was still her best friend, and she needed to tell him what was about to happen before his father announced it to everyone they knew. Lo'ak would have thought she'd have kept it secret from him, and y/n could never break his trust.

"It is with great pride and joy that today we-" The clan leader, Jake Sully, had stopped talking in the middle of his speech and was now looking directly at her. In fact, everybody was. Y/n only then realized she'd stood up while everyone else was still sitting down. Neytiri walked up to her, wiping the tears from her face. Y/n hadn't even realized she'd been crying. "Child, you do not look well." She spoke warmly as if she were speaking to one of her own daughters.

Y/n's tail was twitching violently, still looking around for Lo'ak as she took in a shaky breath. "It is Lo'ak." She managed to say. "He is not here." Y/n whined and her parents decided to step in. "Sit down, daughter. You are disrespecting the clan leader. End this foolishness at once!" But Neytiri was quick to be concerned, asking Neteyam for answers about his brother's whereabouts. "He could not be here. And I do not blame him."

Jake finally decided to have his say. The only fool around had been him, if he'd only now realized the love Lo'ak and y/n had for each other, if the look in her eyes and Lo'ak's disappearance from her side had been anything to go by. "Every single one of our people is allowed to speak their mind. Y/n has not disrespected me, or anyone else." Jake reassured her parents. Y/n saw no other way out for herself, and she knew she was either going to have to say the truth now or forever be silent. "Forgive me, Olo'eyktan. Forgive me, Neytiri. I know I am promised to your eldest son, and I know you wish for me to be tsahik one day. These are the two greatest honors I could ever ask from Eywa herself, and I am grateful. Nothing should be more important to me than looking after the clan, especially now, in a time of war... but my heart, it belongs to your youngest son. It belongs to Lo'ak. It always has. And because I know I would be doing the clan a disservice, that I would be undermining your authority and Mo'at's, I am prepared to be exiled from the clan or pay whatever other punishment in light of my failure."

A loud ruckus erupted as soon as y/n had finished her speech, her parents, in particular, trying to undermine everything she'd just said, while everybody else began to give their opinion on the matter. "Where is he? Your demon son? Can he not even vouch for the woman he has clearly seduced?"

Neteyam could still hear the clan squabbling from where he eventually found his brother. His usual hiding place. "When you are done sulking" He said, announcing his presence before grabbing Lo'ak by the scruff of his neck. "Maybe you could come back and stand by y/n side. She is talking of leaving the clan-" Neteyam's eyes widened as he saw the deep claw marks that ran from Lo'ak's chest all the way down to his left side. Lo'ak was clutching his abdomen, his hands covered in blood.

"Lo'ak, look at me... bro!" Neteyam's voice cracked. "I'm taking you home now, understand? You're going to be fine..."

"I thought... If I could be... a mighty warrior... like you..." Lo'ak murmured, a faint smile on his face. "Maybe... "

But he didn't get to finish that sentence, because a blood-curdling scream had just pierced through both of their ears. Y/n had known about every single one of Lo'ak hiding places too, and it hadn't taken her long to find him. It was almost as if she'd already known, deep within her bones, that he had gone and hurt himself, yet nothing could have prepared her for seeing him like this. "Yawne, what have you done? what have you done?" She wailed and kissed his face, trying to put pressure on his wounds. Neteyam had to separate them, his priority was to take Lo'ak back to Mo'at in time, even though he was just as devastated as y/n.

Y/n didn't leave Lo'ak's side for a single second over the following days. She carried him home with Neteyam. She helped Mo'at and Neytiri heal him. She stayed by his bed until he finally regained consciousness. "Oeya-Lo'ak, you are awake!" Y/n embraced him, mindful of his recovering wounds. Lo'ak pulled away from y/n enough to look into her eyes. "You see me. Only you see me." He said, touching her face gently as she nodded, pressing her forehead against his. "Oel ngati kameie." Y/n whispered, and Lo'ak could have cried when he heard those words leave her lips. "Nga yawne lu oer, y/n. I see you."

Lo'ak came to know of her and Neteyam's refusal to be together, of the rift it had cut between y/n and her parents. How she'd stood up in front of them and the entire clan to declare that she loved him and she would sooner be exiled than belong to anyone else other than him. Amongst the Omaticaya there were some who were certain Lo'ak had taken advantage of y/n, so that he could trap her in being with him, knowing full well Lo'ak would have never lived up to his brother's perfect image. All of this enraged him. He could no longer withstand being on bedrest while wild accusations were being made on y/n. On his mate.

She hissed at him while he tried to get up, and his siblings were having none of it either, when his parents finally turned up to see him. Lo'ak took in their expressions. He had never seen them so worn out with worry. Both Neytiri and Jake embraced their youngest son, dutifully checking on him. After making sure he had eaten, and with Mo'at's permission, his parents asked for everyone except y/n to leave.

By the time his parents had also left, Lo'ak and y/n were promised to each other.

Lo'ak was on strict orders to recuperate from his run-in with a thanator over the coming weeks and was forced to get updates about the ongoing war from Kiri and Tuk. Neteyam and y/n would visit every day, but now that y/n had stepped down as future Tsahik, she was determined to make herself useful by replacing her mate in the war effort until he got better. Neteyam had sworn to Lo'ak that he would have kept y/n safe, but it didn't stop Lo'ak from trying to escape his grandmother's watchful eye so he too could be out on the battlefield with his yawne. Where he belonged.

"Oeya-Lo'ak, you are still recovering." Y/n would complain to him almost every night when she came back to be by his side. Truthfully, she was scared. The second the excuses for making him stay behind ran out, Lo'ak could have gone back to playing a reckless game with his own life. And now, her own life was tied to his. She had gotten hurt fighting the sky people, yes, but nothing could have ever come close to the visceral pain that had ripped through her the day she thought she had lost him forever. Sometimes it made her even too scared to get closer to him, of sharing everything of herself and then suddenly being left behind without ever being able to cope with that loss.

Y/n was on the verge of losing her mind, she was certain because the instinctive need to protect her own heart was more often than not overcome by a different type of need. Y/n had felt low echoes of it when she and Lo'ak had been growing up, whenever he'd wrap his tail around her leg or he'd be standing right behind her, his arms circling hers as he taught her how to shoot an arrow. Now that need was stronger than ever, and she knew what name to give it. Tìnew. Desire.

And she didn't know what to do with it. In fact, she felt ashamed. Lo'ak was still hurt, and all she could think about while she was in the middle of checking on his progress, was wondering what it would be like to run her hands across his body in a different type of way. Her other friends had all already mated, she knew. Y/n wondered sometimes if Lo'ak did not find her beautiful, if he regretted choosing her, but could no longer back out of his decision. He did not seem to want her, in fact, over the following weeks, he seemed to struggle greatly with the feeling of her touch. Something which had never happened before.

Little did she know that Lo'ak was struggling just as much as she was. Y/n's touch burned in such a delicious manner, Lo'ak could not have described it in his own words if he tried. All he knew was it left him starved and aching for more whenever she would eventually have to leave. But he could not initiate anything real while he was still in that state. He could see the sorrow in her eyes every time she'd look at his wounds, and he knew his recklessness had scarred her. And in turn, it had changed him. Eywa as his witness, he no longer wanted to hear y/n scream so viscerally as she had done the night he'd almost died. He needed to be a better person. If not for his sake, then for her own. Y/n was his responsibility now.

Soon he was back on his feet again, and ready to face the rest of the clan. Y/n would now sit amongst his family and Lo'ak was always glued to her side, ready to hiss or growl at anyone who so much as looked at his mate the wrong way. Y/n loved sitting between his legs with his chest to her back, wanting nothing more than to show off her mate to the rest of the clan. She noted that since his recovery, Lo'ak had been less inclined to chat or make jokes like he usually did when they both had to sit through another one of Jake's boring speeches before dinner. It made her sad, since Lo'ak's jokester side was one of the things she loved most about him, but she understood he was going through a lot.

It was on one of these occasions y/n decided to soothe her mate by reaching for his braid, bringing it to rest over her shoulder so she could play with it absentmindedly. Lo'ak realised only after a few minutes that her ministrations were making him purr. Him. Purr. In public. His hands dug into her hips and he hid his face in her neck, trying to keep quiet. "Yawne, you need to stop that... please..." Lo'ak whispered so only she could hear, her hands dangerously close to his queue. Y/n frowned and turned back to look at him. "Did I hurt you?" She asked in concern, reaching out to touch his face. Lo'ak felt his cheeks flare up with heat. He wanted to give her some cocky response, but in truth, he was scared. "No, no. You could never hurt me, y/n... it's more... the opposite." How could anyone want to be with him in that way? To physically bind themselves to him for the rest of their life? Hadn't he taken enough from y/n already?

"The opposite?" She asked, ears bent downwards and still not understanding. "If it makes you feel good, then why would I stop? I like hearing you purr..." Lo'ak tried once again to hide his blush by looking away but to no avail. Y/n's tail wrapped around his own then, preventing him from furiously whacking it against the ground every few seconds, like he always did when he was nervous. "It's just... I—"

All it took was for y/n to look him dead in the eye for her to understand. Eventually she would always see through him. "You wish to mate with me."

A nervous cough overcame Lo'ak as soon as y/n had said those words, making quite a few of their clan members turn towards him and shake their heads in disappointment. Y/n immediately grabbed some water for him to drink.

"Y-yes." He finally managed to say, not sure if he was ever going to recover from such an embarrassing display.

"But... I was certain... you did not desire me. That maybe, you loved me but did not find me beautiful..." Y/n confessed and Lo'ak realized what an absolute skxawng he'd been. The entire time he'd spent feeling sorry for himself and trying to be a better 'version' of himself for y/n, to stop getting in harm's way and taking every aspect of his life more seriously, he'd ended up neglecting his mate. The two of them had probably been the only couple to have waited so long, and he couldn't imagine what kind of reasons y/n had to come up with to explain his 'disinterest'. Clearly, he'd made her feel less than worthy, and it devastated him.

Lo'ak placed one of his hands over y/n's jaw, tilting her face upwards to look at him. "I never, ever want to hear you say that, yawne." He pulled her lower back snugly towards him until she could feel how hard he was for her, making her let out a shaky breath as she turned away from Lo'ak but pressed back against him even more. "Can't you feel how badly I want you? How badly I've always wanted you?" Y/n nodded, trying to look stoically in front of her as if nothing was going on. As if Lo'ak's words weren't making her heart feel like it was going to burst at any minute. As if it would make things any better, y/n reached for one of Lo'ak's hands and held it close to her breastplate, trying to slow her heartbeat down. "Your little heart is beating so fast..." Lo'ak spoke against her braids. "So is yours!" Y/n snapped at him in a low voice, making Lo'ak chuckle. She could feel the beat of his heart against her back.

She wondered if the rest of the clan members could tell what was going on. Y/n didn't want to disrespect Lo'ak's family a second time. But nobody seemed to be taking any notice of them, except the handful of jealous fuckers who eyed y/n whenever they thought he wasn't looking. Lo'ak wondered if they could tell she was shaking in his arms just because of his words. "You don't see the way they look at you? How much they hate me because you're mine?" He asked, placing a hand dangerously close to her inner thigh.

"I don't care about the others. I never have." Y/n sighed leaning back against him.

It was a long wait for everyone else to go to sleep and leave the Tree of Souls empty that night. Sure, they could have gone some place else, considering how worked up the two of them had gotten, but Lo'ak wanted to do things the right way. This was the one thing in his life that he was not going to half-ass or screw up.

Y/n had put him first since the day she'd met him and Lo'ak was going to spend the rest of the night, no, the rest of his life, showing her just how she made him feel every single day.

"You are worrying again..." Y/n noticed, pulling him down to sit next to her. Lo'ak had been overfixating on finding the perfect spot for them to lay down. "I am worried too..." She confessed touching his face. Lo'ak frowned, wrapping his arms around her waist. "We do not need to do this... if you've changed your mind..."

"Kehe! Of course not..." Y/n climbed on top of him, laying across his chest as she kissed him. "I am afraid of losing you... always." Lo'ak really didn't know what to say to those words, because he knew in his heart she was right and he could not argue. He felt exactly the same way about her, but he'd given y/n plenty of reason not to trust he'd stay out of harm's way. "What if... what if I am to carry your child and you don't come back to me? What then?"

The notion of getting y/n pregnant made Lo'ak revert to blushing and scrambling his words, and she blushed as well, realizing she had been somewhat blunt. Lo'ak hardly ever saw her blush and it truly was a sight to behold. "I promise. Eywa as my witness, I will always come back to you, yawne. Always. " As he said those words, Lo'ak didn't even feel like he was himself anymore, but he was certain he meant them.

Y/n brought both of her hands to his face and kissed him again, deeply this time. It was languid and desperate, almost as if she'd been waiting for that promise for a very long time. Lo'ak groaned as she run her tongue over his fangs, pulling away to graze his teeth over her neck and making her gasp. He sat up to get some leverage and asked his mate permission before sinking his teeth into her skin, marking her permanently.

"Lo'ak!" Y/n cried, digging her nails into his back as he lapped up the blood running down her neck. She gave him a sharp bite too, just over his shoulder, in retaliation, making him chuckle. "I'm sorry yawne, let me make it up to you..."

"You better, skxawng!" She huffed, shoving his chest playfully, even if the act of being marked had made the pressure between her legs so unbearable it was beginning to hurt. Lo'ak laughed again and y/n hissed at him meakly, ears drawn back. Why did his laugh also have to... have an effect on her?

"So I'm a skxawng, now?" Lo'ak asked in amusement as he kissed his way down her neck, deciding to get rid of her piece of clothing with his mouth also. It didn't take Y/n long to notice, Lo'ak's hands were no longer on her body, in fact he was leaning against them, only reaching out to touch her if he needed to hold her in place for a few seconds. He was still insecure about them, after all those years, and it would have broken her heart if Lo'ak hadn't been in the middle of making her feel so good. "I thought I was your yawne—"

Y/n got rid of her top piece herself and brought Lo'ak's hands to her breasts. His confidence seemed to leave him then. "You are my yawne. But you are also a skxawng... " She sighed softly through her nose. "I want you to use your hands on me, Lo'ak." Y/n told him, searching for his eyes as one of her hands guided his own over her breast.

"Y-yes. I know... it's just..."

Lo'ak's mind completely blanked the second y/n brought his other hand to her mouth, kissing every single one of his fingers before wrapping her lips around his index and middle finger, sucking around them. She took them as deep in her mouth as she could before pulling away again, enjoying the sight of her flustered mate. "Your hands are beautiful. And they're mine." She whispered, kissing the pad of his thumb. Lo'ak ran his thumb over her bottom lip, and reached back for her queue, bringing it together with his own.

"Nga yawne lu oer, I want to be with you, like this, forever." Lo'ak murmured before making the connection between them. Y/n jolted in his arms, hanging on to his neck for dear life. She'd known the tsaheylu would have felt good, intense even. But she could not have anticipated half of what she was feeling at that moment. Lo'ak's heart was beating so hard, she could feel it in her own chest, battling against her own. And he wanted her... Eywa, he wanted her so bad he could have died from it.

Lo'ak saw inside y/n too, and wasted no time in tugging her forward in a searing kiss. She arched into him and squeezed her thighs around his middle, squirming in his lap as he finally let his inhibitions go. "Want this off--off..." Y/n protested at the sight of his loincloth, rudely tugging at it without much regard for the fact Lo'ak wouldn't have anything to wear the following morning if she destroyed his clothes.

Lo'ak grinned and helped her, finally getting some of his cheeky attitude back. "Who knew my y/n could be so needy—" Her hand on his cock however was enough to make him shut up, well, curse under his breath more like. Y/n meanwhile was completely enthralled with what she was doing, enjoying the feeling of Lo'ak's shaft hardening and leaking under her touch. The fact he was falling apart from it was just an added bonus. "Where were you hiding all this?" She teased and Lo'ak was certain the woman in his arms was going to be the death of him.

"S-shut up..." He whined, struggling to even remember his name when she twisted her wrist and added just the right amount of pressure, making Lo'ak buck up into her hand instinctively. "Shit, y/n, you're being really... d-distracting right now... you need to give me... ah... a break, okay yawne?"

Against every fiber of his being, Lo'ak gently removed her hand. She frowned "Oh? But I like playing with your—"

"Kehe! None of that either..." Lo'ak reprimanded her softly and she giggled. "Let me focus on you, please? I've been waiting for so long..." Y/n nodded, smiling shyly at his words. "Honestly..." Lo'ak mumbled, kissing down the slope of her breasts, having hooked his arms underneath her thighs to hold her higher up. "Only you could get all shy... at something like that... and not about jerking me off..." Y/n loved to listen to Lo'ak talk to her while he drove her crazy with his hands and mouth. The second Lo'ak figured her nipples were particularly sensitive, she was a goner. She mewled and whined as he abused them with his mouth, and tugged harshly on his braids, which only seemed to encourage him further.

Her remaining piece of clothing was completely soaked, and y/n had to resort to rutting herself down against his thigh to get any sort of friction. "Shit..." Lo'ak cursed, realising he'd completely neglected that aspect of things. "Yawne, you're so wet... is this where you need me?" He cooed and Y/n nodded, crying out from the relief of feeling Lo'ak push a single long digit inside of her. She was ready for him, had been for a while, but that didn’t seem to matter because Lo'ak had just discovered how much he loved taking her apart with his fingers. He wanted to eat up every single reaction he could get out of her, hooked on the feeling of her slick running down his skin and the deep purring sounds she'd make if he stroked the most inner walls of her core.

"L-Lo'ak... Lo'ak please... I don't know what's happening..." she sobbed, the coil that had been building in the pit of her stomach was about to snap and it felt so good and so foreign at the same time, y/n didn't know what was about to happen. Lo'ak stilled immediately, afraid he'd been hurting his mate, but then he understood. He didn't know if it was through their bond, or something else, but he just knew. "Just hold on to me, yawne." He asked he to trust him, not faltering his rhythm inside her for a second. "Trust me, I know it's scary, but you're about to feel so good. So, so good... I promise..."

The only thing better than watching his mate come apart was feeling her pleasure radiate through their bond. Lo'ak watched y/n in complete and utter adoration, holding her through the aftermath until her breathing went back to normal. "Lo'ak..."

"What is it, yawne...?"

"Don't make me wait anymore..." Y/n laid herself down on the grass, pulling Lo'ak down to be on top of her. It was so dark now so could perfectly make out all the luminous freckles on his body. He entered her slowly, immediately feeling like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Y/n was slick, warm and impossibly tight around him. It took everything he had not to fuck her senseless right then and there.

Y/n on her part wanted Lo'ak to be as close to her as it was physically possible. She wanted his body to completely cover her own, feel his entire weight bare down on her. "I'm right here, y/n..." He reassured her as he began to move, listening to her soft moans. "I see you."

It didn't take long for y/n to start meeting his thrusts, whining that he go faster. "I don't want you to stop, Lo'ak... you can't—" She had never felt so good in her life, and she begged to Eywa that the morning would never come if this was what the rest of their night was going to be like.

"No, 'm not gonna stop, yawne..." Lo'ak quelled her worries with a kiss, and lifted her hips upwards to hold them in place. The new angle made y/n cry out his name, and Lo'ak held her like that, one arm around her middle and his other hand splayed out across her stomach to keep her still as he fucked her in earnest. The nature of that raw act made her cum again, this time without warning as she clamped down on his cock.

Lo'ak wasn't that far behind her either. "Good. That's my good girl..." He praised, reaching out for her hand as she intertwined their fingers together. "Yawne... y/n I'm going to cum now... " He was about to make himself pull away, since they hadn't really discussed that sort of thing, but y/n locked her legs around his waist. "Inside me..." She whined with a shudder, a little overestimated by that point. That was more than enough to tip Lo'ak over the edge. He groaned, fucking his load inside y/n for what felt like an eternity. He'd never come so much and for so long.

Afterwards he found that he couldn't pull away from his mate. Y/n was particularly adamant that he stay inside of her even while they slept, and it didn’t fail to make Lo'ak grin like an idiot. "Can I at least turn as around so you can sleep more comfortably? I promise you, you can have my dick back in a second..."

She hissed at him, dismounting from him herself. "Only you could ruin a romantic moment like that, skxawng..."

Lo'ak hugged her from behind, kissing the bite mark he'd left on her neck. "So I'm back to being a skxawng? You know I liked the things you were calling me before a lot better..." He teased, doing a very poor impression of her moaning, which made y/n give his tail a sharp tug.

He did the same in retaliation and the ended up in one of their usual play-fights, only this time, Lo'ak didn't eventually shy away from her touch. Once they'd both finally worn each other out, Lo'ak wrapped his arms tightly around y/n as she rested on top of him.

"Y/n..." He whispered, wandering if she was still awake. Luckily she was already fast asleep. "Thank you. For choosing me."

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