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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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Welcome back, everyone! Starting here in Chapter Six these recaps are doing double duty with my latest attempt at completing National Novel Writing Month. Granted, this isn’t a novel and yes, I technically started this project well before November, but there’s no way I’d manage 50,000 words of fiction in 2020, so I’m hoping to hit that with these recaps instead. You all get semi-frequent updates and I may get to finally say I completed this challenge! That’s a win-win as far as I’m concerned.

Quick reminder: new teams, CFVY was separated, everything is awful. There, done. Seventy-five pages in we’ve come back to Velvet’s point of view as she and the other students are carted off in airbuses. She’s experiencing the “same shock and dismay” that she saw on Yatsuhashi’s face before they were separated, thus I’d like to re-emphasize last chapter’s argument that though shaking up the teams isn’t inherently a bad idea, doing it in this way while your students are recovering from/still involved in a war is… not so great for their mental health. Yeah, yeah, Remnant is a hard place and these kids experience traumatic events on the weekly, but still. There’s a fine line between preparing students for that kind of life and simply traumatizing them further, because this is a kind of trauma when the teams so heavily rely on one another - fill every aspect of one another’s lives: friend, colleague, family, teacher, student, leader, follower, romantic partner - and you’re now uprooting them with no warning. Whether or not new teams actually happen, the students think they are and that’s messing with their heads. Basically they’re just:

This problem is highlighted when we get confirmation of what I stated last time: the teams aren’t merely colleagues turned friends, but family. These fighters have got all their emotional eggs in one basket. Velvet goes so far as to imply that she loves her team more than her parents, with the logic being that they (her parents) “never talked to each other anymore.” So… if Coco and Yatsuhashi stopped talking would that undermine your love for each of them as individuals? I get what the overall takeaway is - divorce is a nasty business and can leave lasting scars on kids caught in the middle, to say nothing of the fact that, as a young adult, Velvet is poised to start creating a family by choice, not blood - but it’s still an odd way to phrase the issue. Here we have another instance of me picking up on implications due to RWBY, the franchise’s, overall themes. When you’ve got a story so thoroughly touting a teens vs. adults mentality, having Velvet mentally reject her parents for her team reads differently than it otherwise would. Chock that onto the pile that already includes things like, ‘Ruby denies that Qrow ever helped her’ and ‘Yang is no longer a part of grieving for Summer’ and ‘Weiss seems to have forgotten all that Klein did for her.’ There’s a lot of uncomfortable details attached to our heroes and how they see the adults in their lives, parents included.

Velvet doesn’t get to worry for long though. A much happier voice sounds across the airbus and she spots Sun, classically hanging from his tail. Instead of hearing more about her fears we segue into - you guessed it - Sun bashing. The first thought to pop into her head is that Sun “wasn’t with the rest of his team, but knowing Sun, that might have been his decision.”

...Velvet, you just tried desperately to stay with your own team and were (somehow) swept away by the apparently overwhelming crowed (still ridiculous imo). But if you didn’t manage this, what makes you think Sun had a chance? Why is his separation suddenly a potential choice when yours was presented as nothing of the sort? That is some real insistence on thinking the worst of him. I dragged Sun for abandoning his team in Volume 4 because that was abandonment. It was a choice worthy of criticism. This? This was outside of his control and Velvet knows it.

Sun saw her, smiled, and waved. Velvet looked away.

Nice, Velvet.

He comes over anyway and (kindly!) asks if she’s okay. Velvet says no, specifically because “Yatsu and I were separated.” Here we have another example of how close the partners get even within each team. Blake and Yang are inseparable. Ruby talks to Weiss more than her sister (and the concept of her talking to Blake in any meaningfully way is hilarious at this point). Now, despite being separated from her entire team - everyone is in the same awful boat - Velvet frames the situation as just being separated from Yatsuhashi. Later she repeats, “Well, I still want to try to find Yatsu.” So would it be a disappointment to find Fox or Coco instead? It’s especially weird because in the main show we see Velvet and Coco interacting the most. I actually had to look up who Velvet’s partner was because I just assumed our two girls were a duo. Apparently not. I’m not really into the CFVY side of the fandom, but I imagine there’s a substantial ship community for these two based solely on how Velvet embraces RWBY partnerships in this book, outside of the always popular Velvet/Coco, of course.

That’s admittedly a ship I can get behind.

After Velvet unloads all her worries “Sun stared ahead, like he couldn’t quite manage to feel bad.” Attention, readers, this is an important lesson coming up! In fandom spaces I often see people analyzing novels (and other print media/visual media with narration) without taking into consideration the perspective. Unless we’ve got an omniscient perspective we need to take into account that our narrator might, simply put, be wrong (and even then, omniscient unreliable narrators are a popular choice). Often I see readers taking a characters’ thoughts - and words - at face value, which is understandable given that we’re meant to emotionally connect with them, but we have to keep in mind that this is their interpretation of events. We see the story through their eyes, how they perceive the world, but their perception of the world may not be accurate or, at the very least, is open to further interpretation. Sometimes this is used in an obvious, plot-driven manner - there’s a surprise twist for the reader, made possible because our protagonist was likewise kept in the dark - but it applies to our reading of more casual interactions too. This is a good example. Just because Velvet says Sun looks “like he couldn’t quite manage to feel bad” doesn’t mean that’s actually how Sun feels. As we’ve just re-established, Velvet is inclined to think the worst of Sun, or at least consider the worst as a distinct possibility. So if we’re asking the question, “Is Velvet’s perspective accurate to reality here?” weighing her previous assumptions against actions like Sun smiling, waving, and asking how she’s doing, AKA caring about her situation… I’d say no, it’s likely not.

At least she doesn’t outright accuse him of anything. Given that he’s not privy to these insulting thoughts, Sun chatters on about the test. He thinks it “isn’t a bad idea” because, as established, a lot of students lost teammates and are having trouble settling into Shade while still trying to live the life they had at Beacon. Changing the teams could be a “chance to really commit to our new school and our training, and learn from one another in a new way.” That’s what I think!

“Right… Or maybe some of us burned bridges with our team and might be looking for an easy way to avoid fixing those relationships.”

Velvet what the actual fuck. Can our cast NOT be assholes for five minutes??

Sun goes red at the accusation and calls her out on being harsh. “Tough love” Velvet calls it. Okay, no. Tough love is reserved for people you’re actually friends with and is meant to have them face a harsh reality they might be avoiding. Sun is avoiding an overt apology with his team, but we (and Velvet) have been given no indication that his thoughts on the test are a smokescreen to hide ulterior motives, which is what she’s talking about here. Sun clearly wants to make up with his team, he’s just struggling to accept what needs to be done to do that. Tough love would have been Velvet encouraging Sun to use this separation to reflect on what his team means to him and then, regardless of whether they end up back together, apologizing for how he unintentionally hurt them. Not… this. Plus, again, Velvet hasn’t exactly been friendly lately. She has little ground for dishing out “tough love.” You need established “love” before the “tough” part.

In addition, she’s not listening to what Sun’s saying. “If they want us prepared for an attack, breaking up teams sounds counterproductive.” When did Sun mention anything about an attack? That’s your assumption of what’s going down based on the illegal investigation you’ve been assisting with. Sun just said that changing the teams would provide some of them with a much needed clean slate, which is true. Just because that’s not what Velvet needs doesn’t mean it’s not useful for others. As she eventually acknowledges, they can get too comfortable in the roles they’ve been playing.

We get her line about wanting to find Yatsuhashi followed by, “Sun, you do whatever you want. That’s what you’re good at.” Velvet seriously? Then minutes later she’s hoping Sun sticks close to her if he can. Real talk: everyone deserves better than this. ‘Friends’ who constantly act like your presence is a burden, insult you whenever they get the chance, insist such insults are for your benefit (it’s just tough love), but then turn around and play nice when you have something they want... those aren’t friends. Note that Velvet is - both privately and overtly - mean to Sun while he’s just existing in the airbus, going through the same horrible test as her, trying to be nice, and holding an otherwise civil conversation. While trapped on the bus with nowhere to go, Sun is a nuisance despite his best efforts. When the floor suddenly opens up and Velvet is terrified of falling and surviving on her own though, then his presence is desirable. That’s not friendship and in another story I’d praise the author(s) for writing a compelling move from shaky acquaintances to a strong bond… but I’m honestly not sure that the relationship (any of them, really) will improve. Far as I can gather, Myers thinks this is friendship.

So Velvet accuses Sun of always and forever hurting others in his pursuit of doing what pleases him (after checking in on Velvet… literally minutes ago…) which is right around when Scarlet decides to make himself known. He agrees with Sun’s belief that this test will be harder than they assume: “I think you’re right… For a change.” Everything comes with a caveat. Apparently Scarlet has been listening in the whole time, but somehow manages to turn that into an insult as well with “I’ve been standing five feet away. Maybe I’m ready for a new team, too.” Wait, is the implication that Scarlet is further annoyed because Sun didn’t notice him? Do you all have ANY idea how many times a friend has stood right next to me and I didn’t notice them because I was caught up in something like work, a show… a conversation? I’m oblivious af. I get that Sun has things to make up for but at the very least these characters could keep their criticisms to what he’s actually done wrong, not crazy reaches like, ‘Sun probably abandoned his team when everyone was separated’ or ‘Sun was busy talking to Velvet and didn’t notice me eavesdropping, so I guess I don’t mean much to him, huh.’ I’m constantly torn between the presumed realism of this writing - people are unfair in their criticisms, teens do hold unsubstantiated grudges - and acknowledging that Myers seems to have felt confident writing (1) personality and just gave it to everyone. Velvet privately becomes as critical as Coco, who is as vocal as Fox, who agrees with Yatsuhashi, who echoes Sun’s team, and Sun himself often throws that attitude right back. Round and round we go.

As one might imagine, the three begin theorizing about what the test itself will be like. Usually Shade sets up initiation just like this. Students are transported in windowless airbuses, dumped in the desert, and told to find their way home. I’m interested in the bit about how teams are made up not only based on arrival, but also “the manner in which [the students] survived.” It definitely lends support to the assumption I’ve always had that the teams can really be random. At least not entirely. There’s strategy on the part of the instructors, thinking through aspects like, ‘Well, these two students used their wits in this manner so they’d pair together nicely.’ Or the reverse, ‘Put together the strategist with the student in love with blunt force, let them balance each other out.’ I certainly don’t think that Ozpin formed teams based solely on who ran into each other first. Not only do we have agency on the part of the students (Weiss leaves Ruby, then Jaune, then goes back to Ruby), as well as the fact that two sets of partners had to be paired together someway, but Ozpin was also carefully watching their whole performance. If the only thing that mattered was getting back to Beacon with a chess piece, why bother examining their choices? Shade appears to employ a similar setup of careful decisions portrayed as randomness, which would make sense given that Ozpin set up these schools. Though all the headmasters may not realize it (is Theodore a part of the inner circle?), or perhaps don’t agree with his methods overall, Ozpin’s influence is undeniably evident in each institution we’ve seen.

The only difference between normal initiation and this test seems to be that the students have to find a gold figurine this time around. Though as our trio points out, there’s likely to be other differences as well, otherwise the original Shade students would have a pretty significant advantage.

During all this Velvet remanences about Beacon’s initiation and we learn that Ozpin does, apparently, use the whole ‘Throw you into the woods where you’ll find some relic’ setup each year, as Velvet remembers being “thrown into the air” during hers. She also hits on another concern that hadn’t crossed my mind until now: what if a team includes a new student alongside the “more vocal in harassing recruits from Beacon and Haven?” It might do the Shade students some good to get to know the newcomers, but it’s not the newcomers’ responsibility to teach them some basic respect and kindness.

During all this Rumpole, via a screen, has been explaining how the test will go down. Her little info session concludes with her telling them to “Prepare for drop-off… See you back home soon.” I really like that she used the term “home” here. It says something about how she views the school and her students’ place in it, despite the tough attitude and tougher culture of Vacuo.

Turns out, when Rumpole said drop-off she meant that literally. The floor opens up and we get a mix of some students panicking while others just happily jump out.

Yeet.

Like I said, Ozpin’s influence.

I didn’t understand the panic initially - aren’t landing strategies a basic part of huntsmen training, something everyone (except Jaune) is expected to know coming into a school? Isn’t it at least partway through the year when everyone, even firsties, has had practice at this? - until I remembered Rumpole’s comment about how she hoped everyone remembered to bring their weapons this morning.

…that’s one hell of a lesson. Let’s break this down for a second. Yes, everyone at Shade is expected to carry their weapons at all times, but the meeting that started all this was early in the morning and, far as I can tell, entirely unexpected. ‘Supposed to’ is not the same thing as ‘will,’ especially when one is dealing with college-equivalent students who are still figuring expectations out. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that someone did leave their weapon behind. So now what? These buses are thousands of feet in the air, dropping students randomly as they jump/fall. If a student did need help how in the world would a professor assist them? Do they just expect other students to help like Pyrrha did for Jaune? It’s possible given that in a moment Octavia will help Velvet despite seeming to dislike her... but that’s not something I’d want to bank on. Whether a student forgot their weapon or has a weapon unsuited to a landing strategy, they’re going to die from this fall. Yeah, yeah, the test is supposed to be deadly, but what’s there to learn then? You’re dead! The lesson ‘Don’t forget your weapon’ or ‘Find a weapon more suited to landing strategies’ will never stick unless there are contingency plans in place to ensure that students survive their first mistakes.

It just all seems kind of flimsy, like everything works out because the plot says it must, not because I believe this in-world setup is geared towards keeping students alive and teaching them how to survive this world. (The reverse of the story conveniently not killing civilians off during a major grimm attack.) If landing strategies are so crucial to a huntsmen’s work - and we see them a lot - why are students allowed to have weapons like Yatsuhashi’s Fulcrum that, far as I can see, provide you with no way of slowing your descent? What if you don’t have a suitable semblance? Or it hasn’t been unlocked yet? What if your weapon would work, theoretically, but you haven’t taken any pictures of other suitable weapons lately (Velvet)? What if you never figure out that there are parachutes on the ship? Unless the instructors have a secret way of saving someone from getting splattered, this seems like a test rife with deadly mistakes, not just encounters. Why not teach your students to carry mini high-tech parachutes on their belts, with weapons and semblances as backups? Incorporate Atlas tech into standard schooling, then give us huntsmen who suddenly have it taken away with the embargo, resulting in a lot of problems. I mean, the students are legit scared in this scene, Velvet included. Having them face deadly grimm is one thing, but why test the odds with a thousand foot plunge when there’s absolutely no reason to? Far as I can see, the schooling isn’t built around ensuring they survive a fall like this - nothing like weapon requirements, or carrying additional gear if you semblance is something like Ren’s - which means making the fall a part of the test itself is... not great.

Which, to be clear, is the fault of the author(s) and how much thought (or not) they’ve put into their fictional school, not the fictional school’s fault because it’s, you know, fictional. Basically, the world building in this series kind of drives me nuts, in case you haven’t noticed lol.

Velvet does find the parachutes, oh so conveniently, and at least has the decency to give one to Sun. Also yeah, kudos for thinking to search for them in the first place. I do like the ‘survival is the only thing that counts’ theme. Cheating, lying, and the like is great when it’s used because the odds are already stacked against you. We get her agreement to try and stick close because remember, there’s nothing like a dangerous situation to remind you to be decent towards someone else. As Velvet magnanimously thinks, “Being with Sun would be better than being alone.”

Okay. Low bar, but okay.

So they fall and we get to hear a fair bit about Vacuo’s history based on what Velvet remembers about each landmark from history class. Honestly, I’m impressed at her recall. I wouldn’t be able to dredge up class notes while falling through the air. We get an abandoned city previously hidden by sand and the somewhat confusing sentence, “These were all that was left of the underground mines, the Drylands, the site of the old Paradise Oasis, long since dried up following Dust mining and the Great War.” Are these three separate places among the rock-less area pockmarked with holes? Or is this a single area of underground mines, called the Drylands (for some reason?), that includes the contrasting place called Paradise Oasis? I’m not sure. The takeaway though is that Velvet hopes Coco isn’t heading to that ambiguously named place because she’s incredibly claustrophobic.

What I find the most informative in all this is the description of the quarries as “physical manifestations of the wounds that still ran deep in the people of Vacuo.” The overall issue of outsiders coming into Vacuo, draining it of its resources, and then taking it back to their own kingdoms (while leaving their trash behind) is the sort of theme significant to our own lives and worthy of examination in fiction… Not saying that RWBY necessarily handles this theme well - especially given the messy conflation of that generational trauma and the awful treatment of any ‘outsider’ who wanders into the kingdom - but I do appreciate when I can see the series trying. Even if it fails, effort is (to an extent) still worth acknowledgement.

What I’m less inclined to praise is the strange follow up of “maybe that was why Rumpole was sending students there.” …what does this mean? Velvet just told us the quarries are the “wounds” of Vacuo, so are they being sent there because they’re dangerous? Because huntsmen will somehow fix this?? Neither of these make sense but I literally don’t know what point Myers is trying to make… which happens a lot. Again, there’s a whole lot of wise-sounding statements in this novel that, at the end of the day, mean very little - if anything at all.

Velvet eventually lands, nearly getting pulled into one of the openings when she can’t get out of her parachute. She’s saved at the last moment by Octavia Ember, a member of Team NDGO. You know, “One of the people she least wanted to run into.” We all knew the moment Velvet worried about running into one of the crueler members of Shade that it would happen.

Their conversation is filled with heartfelt gratitude and riveting greetings:

“Thanks?” Velvet said.

“Whatever.” Octavia sheathed her blade and started walking away. That was more like it.

What is wrong with all of these people? My kingdom for a kind, enthusiastic, non-team exchange!

You know the ‘enemies forced to work together’ conflict couldn’t end there though (a trope I normally love and would likely love here except having Octavia be another stereotypical mean girl was the least innovative choice possible). She and Velvet end up heading towards the same quarry, simply because there’s nothing else for miles around. Velvet displays some quick thinking when she explains that the instructors likely hid the relics in there to ensure they weren’t forever hidden under the sand. Velvet, unlike Yatsuhashi, has also realized that there’s more to the test than just their fighting skills. They’ll be graded on everything, “Including how we treat each other.” I’m always appreciative of characters who use their brains as much as their brawns.

Perhaps that not-so-subtle nudge resonated with Octavia because she opens up a bit. By this I mean she moves from “Whatever” to telling Velvet the traumatizing story of how she lost a third of her clan to Blind Worms in one of these quarries. Okay. That’s a complete 180, but I’ll take it. Velvet continues to have supposed insights about the Vacuans like, ‘Maybe they don’t cry because that’s a waste of water?’ and ‘Maybe they hate everyone on principal because of the past?’ and ‘I guess bullying is just something you’re supposed to survive out here’ (um… no.) In Velvet - and Myers’ - defense she acknowledges that none of these explanations excuse their actions… but I’m not so sure it explains them either. A few chapters ago we were hammering home how teens don’t have an emotional connection to their past, despite it not actually being that long ago (recall Coco’s conversation with Rumpole in class), but now we’re supposed to believe that all of these teens reject newcomers because of stuff that happened during a war they weren’t alive for? Also, I’m neither a doctor nor an anthropologist, but the concept of a desert people refusing to cry because it’s a waste of water - especially in an otherwise advanced civilization - seems suspect. I can buy someone being unable to cry because they’re currently dehydrated, but a whole culture denying themselves this outlet when most of them don’t actually lack water anymore is odd.

Granted, culture isn’t always logical. Case in point: memes. So let’s give that a pass.

However, we’ve still got the issue of continuity across paragraphs. First Velvet is smug because she’s a better climber than Octavia. Then Octavia is ahead and supposedly annoyed that Velvet was slowing her down. It’s unclear when, or if, they’ve finished climbing at this point and a second later Octavia is climbing a tree - why didn’t Velvet do that? Really, I lay little blips like this at the feet of the editors, not the author(s), simply because as an author I know precisely how easy it is to lose track of every detail you’ve introduced. It becomes obvious to the reader when things don’t quite align, but it will often go unnoticed by the writer - like typos. (RIP my own work.) Which is why you need that second perspective to not just catch the big mistakes, but tweak all the smaller ones too. RWBY is now a part of WarnerMedia and Before the Dawn was published by Scholastic. There’s a standard here I don’t think either is meeting.

As said previously though, Octavia climbs a tree because Velvet - with faunus eyes - spotted a trinket the others had missed. Octavia falls, Velvet catches her, and a whole swarm of Ravagers show up, which seem to be a bat-like grimm. Nice. My gothic, vampire, Stellaluna loving ass can get behind that.

Behold: my childhood.

They make a run for it and we - finally - get some solidarity as Octavia admits that the relic is technically Velvet’s and Velvet wonders in turn if they can share it. I offered my kingdom for a kind exchange and I got it! Hurray! More importantly, apparently that is an option because the airbus coordinates have shown up on both their scrolls. I’m not going to pretend that I understand how that tech works, but that’s a level of world building we don’t actually need. Not unless the hypothetical of students piggybacking on another’s relic is a part of the evaluation.

I love that Velvet used her camera flash to scare off the Ravager in their way. That’s a fantastic twist on the ‘Velvet will use her semblance and impress Octavia’ expectation as well as a great way to demonstrate that she is a formidable fighter, capable of paying attention to her situation/surroundings and responding accordingly.

There are more Ravagers though, incoming Blind Worms, an avalanche… and the airbus. A narrow escape indeed. Octavia drops that attention-catching, “Thank the Brothers” as they reach safety.

Going back to my earlier point about Shade seeming happy to kill its kids, apparently Velvet and Octavia were the last to reach the bus and Sun told the pilot to wait. That says good things about Sun, but horrible things about the test. If Sun hadn’t insisted on staying would Octavia and Velvet have had a way out? Why in the world wasn’t the pilot told to wait longer?? The whole timeline is confusing, with Sun and Velvet leaving the airship only a short time after everyone else, but it looks like the whole group was way ahead of them (the quarry is empty of both relics and people by the time they arrive), except Sun managed to get super far ahead of Velvet somehow, and their pilot was apparently working under an unspoken deadline… I’m just taking information at face value because if you try to piece it all together, good luck.

Also sorry, but I straight up laughed at Sun’s “You woke up the Ravagers. And you lived to tell the tale.” That is so unnecessarily dramatic. Oh no. Not the Ravagers. Literally the first thing I thought of was some B horror movie like

Coming only to a streaming service near your couch because we’re still living through a pandemic. Wear your masks, friends!

Back to this very entertaining reaction. Sun, you and Velvet have both taken out Atlesian knights, you fought a gigantic sea monster with Blake, and Velvet just bypassed a nest of Ravagers with a simple bright light. If RWBY is going to randomly try and make the grimm threatening again, do it with stuff that actually reads as a significant threat to these fighters. After you’ve got your first years blasting through (Yang) and riding (Nora) bear grimm at initiation, a couple of bat grimm just doesn’t cut it.

Moving on, Velvet’s iffy perspective rears its head once more as she thinks, “What if Sun had passed by the trinket in the tree, knowing it would be too dangerous to retrieve it? She and Octavia had not had that luxury.”

There’s a lot wrong with this theory:

How do you know Sun has better vision, even as a fellow faunus? As Volume 7’s Tyrian attack brought to the surface, supposedly not every faunus has that advantage.

Velvet straight up says that she wasn’t able to see the Ravagers, otherwise she would have warned Octavia about them. The whole point is that they startled her and she fell. So what, Sun not only has faunus vision but better than Velvet’s? (Do monkeys have better vision than rabbits? I have no idea, but this is the kind of stuff I would google if I wanted to potentially draw attention to it in my book).

If that trinket was too dangerous to retrieve, why did the instructors put it there in the first place? Fox mentioned things being unfair with his lack of sight, but that’s a pretty big difference: easy grabs in a supposedly abandoned quarry vs. a grab that wakes up the whole nest of grimm.

“She and Octavia had not had that luxury” why does this sound like another dig at Sun? Like it’s worth criticizing that he… got there first? Got lucky with the relics closer to the floor? Probably because everything is a dig at Sun in this book, including Velvet’s surprise that he might have “respect in his eyes.” Velvet! He was just asking about you, made the bus wait, and has always worn his heart on his sleeve! Sun’s respect/care is not in question, only how he chooses (at times) to display it.

Not that the story seems to get that. We can’t work through Sun’s questionable choices if we’re stuck in this never ending loop of ‘He’s so annoying/incompetent/willfully cruel’ into ‘Hark! is that a positive trait I see?’ and then back to ‘Never mind he’s awful.’ Maybe Velvet’s pride at his reaction to the Ravagers will finally move things forward.

Which is where we leave off. The airbus scares off the other Ravagers with its guns, the group heads back towards Shade (or a second part of the test? That did feel too much like a normal initiation to be fair), and Velvet ends with the equally dramatic line, “The initiation ritual had been hard and almost deadly, and even worse was yet to come: the assignment of the new teams.”

I have to say though, that is the most teen-accurate thought I’ve seen so far. An 18 year old would be more scared of their team social life than getting eaten by a monster lol.

On that note, drop a comment or an ask if you feel like being social yourself and I’ll see you during the next burst of NaNoWriMo energy! 💜

[ Ko-Fi ]

#rwby #BTD Recaps #Before the Dawn #mymetas

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xncasi · 4 years

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EDIT: jdkdjfkdkd I DIDNT WRITE A TITLE & also cuz someone requested i will deliver: a pt 2 will follow!

just a short snippet of writing i felt like doing, based off the song “Butterfly’s Repose” by Zabawa :) i edited as i went along so it might be a bit messy, i’m sorry >>>

Dr. Spencer Reid x shy!reader

length: 11.2K

warnings: a LOTTA angst, small fluff, emotional abuse, death

—————————————————

Dr. Reid is one of many things, as y/n has noticed, but she’d never say that he was overtly emotional. From the time that she started working for the BAU until now, which has been about five years, she’s come to know this enigmatic man.

Not only has she gotten to know him though, but she’s begun to care about him. Sure, she cares deeply about the well-being of the team; which of its members wouldn’t? But this strong surge of emotions came early on and have since remained.

She can vividly recall the first case she’d worked on with her new coworkers, back when she was fresh to the BAU. The unsub’s signature had been riddles that apparently would reveal the location or subject of his next attacks. They’d spent night after night poring over those puzzles, and she can practically taste the bitter, old coffee that the station had offered them. But more fondly she can recall Dr. Reid’s furrowed brows, the way he’d sat for hours in front of papers, trying to write down new ideas that came to mind. Y/n can remember the way his eyes lit up when he finally pieced it all together, the quickness of his words and the way she struggled to understand.

Morgan had tried to jokingly explain Dr. Reid’s genius prior to her first case, but it wasn’t until she saw it in action that she truly understood. And, to be honest, she was intimidated.

Sure, she’d done well in her classes throughout her school career, but she’d fought so hard to reach her dream job. The endless late nights of studying and bitter tasting coffee had pushed her through all the required class credits she’d needed; y/n had never stopped working, never wanting to possibly even entertain the idea that she couldn’t make it. And to finally be able to say she’d succeeded, and then to walk through the doors of the FBI and BAU after a few years of working in the field; it was a dream come true!

And yet...she couldn’t ever quite understand how the genius was just so smart without even seeming to try. He could read full books in ten minutes, recite statistics he’d only read about once, and was able to piece together puzzles that saved countless lives. She wasn’t jealous, per-say, but she yearned to know how he did it and who he was.

And so, the quiet and reserved y/f/n watched. She wasn’t a woman of many words, and yet she’d still been able to contribute to a variety of cases. Hotch knew that despite her lack of words she was still a valuable asset, and that’s really all that mattered to her.

But that’s besides the point.

Around the year mark of her joining the BAU, something happened. Dr. Reid and her had been assigned by Hotch to interview the supposed unsub’s father one last time; they’d arrived thinking it’d be another simple interview, but the father ended up pulling a gun on them both and managed to shoot him in the leg. Something about “protecting his son” she believes, but one way or another it didn’t matter.

Dr. Reid had been bleeding so heavily that y/n had thought his femoral artery had been pierced. She’d shot down the father and then fallen beside her partner, doing her best to apply pressure to the oozing wound. Those few minutes they spent together had been filled with talking, something which she hadn’t been very good at. Who is she kidding, she STILL isn’t good at it!

But anyways, getting back to the point--

To keep Dr. Reid alert, y/n had made small conversation with him. She’d asked about his favorite books, and then his favorite lines from those books. She questioned his music taste and took mental notes on all of it. So was it a surprise to him when he’d woken up to her asleep next to his hospital bed, one of his favorite books laying haphazardly in her lap?

She isn’t sure.

After that, their friendship blossomed. Dr. Reid would talk about his favorite books, music, or movies and y/n would listen. They’d often meet up for coffee and walk to work together, and they often were paired up during cases because of their efficiency together. Y/n favored the quieter, library-like settings of a cafe and Dr. Reid would follow suit; bars were never exactly his thing anyways. They shared coffee and tea recommendations, they’d converse about classical literature, and sometimes he would accidentally spoil books for her because of how fast he read.

(She’d never forgive him for spoiling the ending of “A Farewell to Arms.”)

The friendship between the two of them was strong, and it grew to a point where y/n might’ve even considered him to be her best friend.

In her third year at the BAU, though, y/n had started dating a guy outside of work. At first it started okay; they’d go on romantic dates to fancy Italian restaurants, the ones where Frank Sinatra played in the background of a dimly lit, large room. He’d brought her her favorite flowers, and he even tried to drink the tea she liked. And Dr. Reid had put up with it all, only crossly wondering to himself WHY he felt so agitated whenever y/n would bring her new beau to their bar nights. Why wouldn’t he be happy for her? Y/n was his best friend after all, and she deserved to have a man who loved her.

Around the third month of their relationship though, he began to notice how much more exhausted y/n had become. She often was late or didn’t show up to get coffee with him in the mornings, and she was unusually silent towards everyone when working cases. Whenever she had to take phone calls she’d step outside, and Dr. Reid had to simply pretend like he didn’t see her strained expressions when she entered the room again. This continued on for a good two months before he finally stepped up and asked y/n what was going on.

It was their first fight.

He’d simply asked if she’d been doing okay, and y/n snapped. The dark bags under her eyes and the frazzled appearance she had screamed that no, contrary to whatever she was saying she wasn’t alright. There wasn’t anything he could do though, not when she raised her voice at him for asking about her well-being. So he dropped it.

He hadn’t expected her to reach back out so soon again though, especially not the exact same night of their squabble. Dr. Reid had been flipping through the pages of an old book he was rereading when his phone began to ring. Surprised at the thought that anyone would want to talk to him at this hour, he’d picked up his phone only to hear her sniffling on the line. She’d quietly apologized many times over, but no matter what he said he couldn’t get her to tell him why she’d called. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar voice yelling in the background and a yelp of fear that he understood.

Promising to be over soon, Dr. Reid threw his heavy jacket over his shoulders and headed out into the cold and rainy night. The whole way there he’d been touching his phone, wondering if he should’ve call again. What if something happened while he was making his way there? Should he have called the police before leaving? At least he would’ve known then that she would’ve been okay. As he pulled up to the front of y/n’s apartment complex, he spots y/n shivering miserably on the front steps.

It’s less than twenty minutes before she’s back in his warm apartment, in a dry, borrowed pair of pajama pants and one of his old t-shirts. He hadn’t asked her specifically what had happened, not wanting to dredge up any of their earlier fight, but she’d still managed to find herself talking. Dr. Reid had only just given y/n a steaming cup of tea when she’d broken down, salty tears running down her red cheeks and staining the borrowed shirt. He’d settled beside her on his couch, highly aware of the warmth emanating from her body and the way her tearful gaze avoided his. With some gentle coaxing he managed to get an explanation out of y/n.

Her boyfriend had been cheating for upwards of two months, but she hadn’t been able to leave because of his threats. They’d always changed from one night to the next, but most of them held the same message: if you leave me, I’ll kill myself or hurt you.

Now Dr. Reid had never considered himself to be an angry person; competition was something he avoided for the most part, and he was incredibly slow to anger. This, though, this made his blood boil.

And so the young man had gathered y/n in his arms, comforting his best friend as he remained fully aware of how close they physically were. He told himself that this is what friends did, and her? Well, she was too far gone in her own mind to possibly even consider what could’ve been passing between them.

Now, though, she’s fully aware of how close he is to her. Much like on that night, when Dr. Reid, no -- Spencer -- held her, she’d felt safe. Wrapped in the doctor’s arms she’d known nothing could’ve reached her, not if he didn’t want it to.

Pressed up against his chest, y/n can feel the past two years of uncertain flirting and the dancing around each other dissipate. The months of awkward glances and longing stares has finally reached a head, finally manifested into real touches and love-filled gazes.

She only wished it had happened sooner.

She wished it had happened long before this case, long before they’d flown out here to take on the serial shooter that’d been terrorizing this city. Because now, with her blood pouring out of her chest and abdomen, she knows she has no time left. There’s no more time for first kisses or late night talks, no more shared coffee breaks or reading to each other while curled up together under a blanket.

Spencer, her best friend who’d she’d loved for so long, has no time either.

He’s holding onto his best friend’s body, pressing her to his chest with tears welling in his eyes. Sirens sound in the distance, possibly growing closer, but they’re too muted for him to be able to tell. He’d heard the shots and had come running, but it’d been too late. Y/n had been shot four times, three times in the chest and once in the abdomen. She’d toppled over, shock written all over her face as her gun had clattered to the ground beside her.

And now, she can barely remember any of it. She can still feel the ringing in her ears, but now she’s beginning to realize how hard it is to breath. She can taste the metallic tang of blood, and as she coughs and splutters she can feel it running over her lips. It’s warm, too warm.

Fear begins to overpower her, and she finds herself uncontrollably shaking. “S-Spencer, I d-don’t wanna die,” she rasps, her y/e/c, tear-filled eyes turning to look up into his chocolate brown ones.

He has to swallow back his own tears, fighting to hold on as he looks down at the person he’s cared about for so long. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he shakes his head. “Honey, hold on for me, okay?” he asks gently, his voice cracking.

“I promise I won’t leave you,” he murmurs, tears beginning to slide down his cheeks. Y/n whimpers as she begins to feel a tingling numbness move up her legs. “Spencer, I-I...I love y-you,” she whispers, her hand shakily reaching up for his face.

Leaning down into the body in his lap, Spencer Reid presses his forehead against his best friend’s.

Softly pressing his chapped lips to her bloodstained ones, he gently pulls away and rasps, “I know.”

As y/n’s eyes begin to flutter closed, she grasps onto her best friend’s hand for dear life and lets out one last, heart-wrenching sob.

#spencer reid #dr. reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #cm #dr. reid x reader #agent spencer reid #agent reid #spencer reid x you

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1237tnb · 4 years

Text

Supergirl as a show really has some abysmal writing at times.

I found Kara to be irritating to a large portion of Season 5.

She lied to Lena for three years about who she was. She told a series of people she was Supergirl long before she told Lena, for example Dreamer. Then in the last episode, she tried to turn it around by saying that she was trying to protect Lena, even though Kara had revealed her identity to people less capable of protecting themselves than Lena on multiple occasions.

She didn't tell Lena that she was Supergirl, because Lena is a Luthor. Kara always trusted in people such as Alex, James, and Jon's false sentiments towards Lena, more than the woman that she built a three year friendship with.

Then after Lena refused to accept Kara's crocodile tear apologies, Kara threw a tantrum and accused Lena of being a villain. She even went as far to say, "Where there is smoke, there's a Luthor."

That must have been so incredibly hurtful to Lena who has only proved herself to be good the last four seasons. Kara even assumed that simply because Lena did not want to be friends with her, and that Lena had her own passion project that she needed Myriad for that Lena must be turning evil.

I hate that Lena actually began to believe the lie. I mean that is such a damaging psychological construct that happens in our society all the time, when we believe more about what our small minded friends and family say about us, then we believe in our own truths.

Lena had no choice to trust Lex again, because when Kara and all of her friends treated Lena like an insufferable outsider, Lex treated her like family and someone who was worthwhile, even if he was simply using her.

I know that because of Covid-19, the show needed a quick ending to this season because they did not get to finish filming. However, Supergirl needs to revise their writing before their ratings drop any more.

Also, one thing that the Supergirl writers need to realize is that people are here for Supercorp. People enjoy Kara and Lena's relationship, more specifically their overtly implied romantic relationship.

I personally do not care for this show because I do not think that the acting, storyline, writing, and graphics are that good, even compared to other CW shows such as Arrow, Supernatural, and Jane the Virgin. However, I watch the show for Supercorp. I watch it because I want to see two best friends realize that they are in love with one another.

I know that when the show wrote Lena's character that they never wrote her to be a permanent addition, and maybe that is why they are so hesitant to make Supercorp cannon. However, when Arrow wrote the Felicity character, Felicity was never supposed to be a permanent addition either. However, just like Emily Bett Rickards brought a unique chemistry to her role of Felicity with Stephen Amell as Oliver, Katie McGrath has brought something unique to her role of Lena with Melissa Benoist as Kara Zor-El.

I honestly think that those two women do their best acting in the show when they are with one another, because they are not acting. The two of them have a genuine chemistry.

Long story short. I am team Supercorp, and the CW should realize that their audience is team Supercorp as well.

The Supercorp writers need to stop introducing these emotionally abusive male characters such as James, Mon-El, and William just to keep Kara and Lena from being together. Also, next season, Kara needs to give a real honest apology to Lena. Kara was so self righteous and regressive in the last three episodes that it made me want to turn off the TV.

It completely defeated the point of everything that Kara's character stands for when the writer's gave Kara this unforgiving attitude towards her best friend that bested Oliver and Barry's bad attitudes on their worst days. And honestly it made the show toxic, because it ended up displaying Lena leaving Lex (one abusive relationship) and going back to Kara (a different abusive relationship).

I hope this show is renewed for another season, because I think this show can do some great things. The writers just need to be careful about the messages that they are sending to their audience.

Side more: If you are wondering how I can say that Kara is a different abusive relationship, for the last four seasons Kara and her family have had this relationship with Lena: Fly straight or your trashed. Basically, if Lena does anything remotely questionable, they automatically assume that she is a villain and irredeemable.

I liked Kara, because for almost four seasons, Kara never gave into that way of thinking and always stood up for Lena, until she did give into that way of thinking. At that point, Kara became more callous and cynical towards Lena than any of her friends ever were. She even went as far to convince herself that Lena was the problem, when Kara was the one who had lied for three years and even had her whole family lie as well.

#supercorp #rant #opinion #supergirl #season finale #kara x lena #kara danvers #kara zol el #kara #bad writing #lena luthor #lex luthor #luthor

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dingoat · 4 years

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Relationship Asks for Ahuska and Five: 2, 4, 7, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 27, 28, 29.

OH BOY OH BOY *cracks knuckles* time for another round of BEST GIRL VS WORST BOY.

Obviously this one needs a ‘read more’ (or ‘stick it behind a cut’ as my old school livejournal brain still thinks of it) because it’s gonna be a looonnnng one ahahaha. Some of these I’ve answered already but I’m just gonna copy-paste the responses here to keep it all together, especially since I’m gonna go through question by question for the sake of fun comparisons/contrasts rather than character by character!

2. ♥ When they have a crush on someone, how do they let them know?

Ahuska finds ways to be around them as much as possible and offers rapt attention to everything they say and do, showing interest in every part of their life, even the things she’d never given a second thought for beforehand. She’ll initiate physical contact, often in that ‘accidental’ sort of way- a hand touch that lingers, sliding down a bench a little ‘too far’ and winding up pressed together at the hips, feet bumping under a table, but sometimes more overt things like snuggling down and resting her head in a lap while staying up late watching holos might happen...

Five does not crush, he’s not twelve years old. When he has an interest in someone he may spend a period of time testing for compatability, pushing and pressing for reactions, and if he finds himself still interested (but for whatever reason nothing has naturally escalated in the meanwhile), he will quite simply and overtly request private company.

4. ♥ Do they spend a lot of time in the courting stage or attempt to get to first base as fast as possible?

Ahuska likes the thought of a long courtship, being wooed and pursued, teasing and flirting and yearning... but though she doesn’t actively try to rush her way to ‘first base’, precedent definitely suggests that once the option is there, no matter the time frame, she doesn’t really hesitate.

Five considers ‘first base’ (if you must phrase it in such a juvenile fashion) to be a starting point.

7. ♥ How do they feel about polygamy?

Ahuska’s intial gut reaction, when asked, is that it’s vastly preferable to having an affair! She thinks it’s a perfectly acceptable style of relationship, but it’s not something she’s ever related to herself- the thought that she might ever find herself loving and desiring more than one someone so deeply as to want them in her life to the same degree seems so beyond the realms of possibility that it’s just never crossed her mind. (Yet.)

However; she is incredibly committed and loyal in her relationships, and if she did find herself in such a place, she wouldn’t be able to handle sneaking behind backs or lies or secrecy; the guilt and misery and betrayal of trust would be the end of her. She would have to either leave one forever unrecognised/unsatisfied, or give polygamy some long and serious thought and very open discussion.

Five doesn’t really care what other people do, but it’s irrelevant to him because it suggests any kind of committed relationship at all. He simply sees who he wants, when he wants, and if anyone gets jealous of anyone else then that sounds like a them problem.

16. ♥ Do they have at least one bonding activity they devote to doing with their partner exclusively?

Aside from the obvious, I’m not sure Ahuska makes a point of keeping any particular activity exclusive? Sweet, potentially romantic activities like stargazing and long moonlit walks might naturally happen far more with the love of her life, but I don’t think she’d ever turn down the chance to do so with a close friend either (there’d just be less... hand-holding and cheek snuggles).

One might have thought that Five had a whole host of bonding activities exclusive to a single particular person... but what with that being more of a Watcher-Cipher thing, rather than a partners thing, that ‘exclusivity’ no longer exactly completely applies, whoops. (Granted, the new Cipher is not likely to ever experience the push-off-a-building trust exercise.) That said, it’s very likely that Thirteen is actually the only person who gets to experience Five in the context of completely casual, physical, and dare I say... affectionate company.

17. ♥ What sort of characteristics or quirks draw them to someone?

Ahuska needs to see the capacity for kindness, even if it’s wrapped in a crude, brash or sharp-edged package- or maybe especially so, because she is a little bit hopeless for a show of snark, cheek, and sharp wit (provided it’s not at her expense) and someone not afraid to draw blood to protect what they care about. She loves unexpected talents like dance or musical ability being sprung on her out of the blue, and she’s weak for demonstrations of confident competence.

Five is drawn to someone who can give and take as well as he can. Intelligence, attractiveness, skill. Wit and snark quite specifically at his expense so he has the opportunity to fight back; he wants to be challenged, but not beaten. His heart thunders for someone more physically capable than himself who he can, nonetheless, bring to their knees.

18. ♥ Do they have a ‘type’?

I thought Ahuska had a type, but I seem to have discovered that her heart is not quite so specific and compatability can come in more than one shape and size. She has a lot of love to give and can find it in very unexpected places.

Five definitely goes for people who demonstrate one very specific physical characteristic.

19. ♥ What was their first impression about their partner/person they are courting?

When Ahuska first saw Crow, she was struck with the fact that he didn’t carry himself with the alpha-dog machismo she’d come to expect from fellow Mandalorians of his particular demographic. And when he turned his grin her way, he very very firmly snared her attention.

When Ahuska first met Blakk, she simply thought he was a delightful, feisty, dear little fox, and was absolutely besotted with him, if not in the way that she eventually became (after the wildest possible ride of misunderstandings and twisted events and broken trust and reforged faith).

Five, I think, would have made a very swift and completely superficial assessment, found it very pleasing (provided there was no fashion disaster occurring at the time), and opened himself up to learning more. It wouldn’t have taken long to be drawn into that personality, either.

21. ♥ What was the most romantic time they had with their partner?

Ahuska’s most romantic time with Crow would almost definitely be their space-walk through the ice fields of Saleucami, followed by some slightly less life-threatening zero gravity playtime within the safety of their ship’s cargo hold. They’ve had a lot of terribly sweet moments but I’m not sure that any compare to that honeymoon trip.

With Blakk, Ahuska has experienced a number of wonderfully romantic moments... in their shared dreams. It can be hard to compete with a world where auroras and starlight of your own creation dance to the beat of your hearts as you discover just how real you are to one another, but in many ways that last morning they spent together in person before parting, before anything between them was properly admitted or understood, waking to the warmth of the sun and sharing a long breakfast together full of soft yearning and denial of the inevitable separation to come ranks very high on the heart aching romance scale.

Five understands ‘textbook romance’ perfectly well and has probably walked through all the steps with great success a number of times when seducing marks back in his Cipher days. But when it comes to his own actual desires….. it really is hard to apply the word ‘romantic’. Granted, he does enjoy the finer things in life and takes great pride in being a very good cook, and a certain someone knows exactly how to push his buttons to get most exactly what he wants out of him when he feels like it. So there probably have been some almost ‘nice’ evenings of home cooked meals and fine wine and bath oils, at least to begin with….?

22. ♥ Tell us about a sacrifice they made for their significant other.

Ahuska gave up Clan life, the chance to rise through the ranks and be the Mandalorian she never thought she could, and a lot of her innocence, to be with and stay with Crow.

For Blakk, Ahuska broke off her current romance, turned her back on her safety net, and basically gave up everything she had... just for the hope that they might find away to actually be together.

Five gave up a significant measure of control on two distinct occassions, both of which were considerably big deals for him.

23. ♥ Do they apologize to their partner even if it wasn’t their fault?

Ahuska will readily and even pre-emptively take on the blame for almost anything. If something is genuinely her fault, she will apologise profusely and genuinely, probably through tears, and feel bad about it long after forgiveness has been given. She will offer apologies even when not directly at fault if she thinks it will help to calm down or diffuse a situation.

Five, though, doesn’t do the ‘accepting blame’ thing and certainly won’t shoulder somebody else’s. The one occassion where he has accepted responsibility, he’s never actually said the word sorry aloud, and he’s not even come clean about the real circumstances. But his guilt over the matter is expressed still to this day, through actions and gifts that are never actually directly linked to the event in question.

27. ♥ Have they had dreams about their partner/the person they are courting?

Ahuska most certainly has; dreams are a significant part of every reality she experiences, and often a way that binds them together, so naturally the significant people in her life feature prominently. She’s leery of anything that has a sense of being prophetic, but does believe she’s witnessed possible futures in her dreams and the ones that suggest a long and full life with Crow are her favourites.

Through her Force-bond with Blakk, she’s been able to actually share dreams with him, which have been very profound experiences... but at the moment her dreams are only dreams, and any real senses she gets of him vanish the moment she tries to focus enough to actually reach him. It hurts.

Five dreams as anyone does, and there’s no doubt Thirteen would feature in them regularly. Nothing magical, nothing profound or prophetic, just good old fashioned disjointed images that the brain strings together in a loose approximation of a plot. What’s most disconcerting is if he makes any sort of appearance in his recurring nightmares.

28. ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courting’s feelings without them having to say anything?

Ahuska becomes very attuned to the people she cares most about; she’s naturally a very sensitive person who wants to understand her partners’ feelings, and her desire to understand and do the best for the people she loves is only ever enhanced by her connection to the Force. She’s connected to Crow through all their years and shared experiences together, and being tuned into the beat of his heart definitely helps her know his feelings despite what he might show on the outside. With Blakk she has the benefit of being literally bonded through the Force but... well. Hopefully they wind up back in a position where understanding one anothers’ feelings is a legitimate thing they can do. ;_;

Five is quite astute, if not completely fool-proof, and when he puts the effort in can do quite a servicable job of knowing where someone’s feelings are at- manipulation is one of the tools of his trade, after all. Just how much he actually cares to do so is a different story, but, well... stranger things have certainly happened. He might try to claim that Thirteen is an open book to him, but that might just be what Thirteen wants him to think.

29. ♥ How do they express their love to their partner?

Ahuska gives freely and openly, her time, her energy, her patience, her body and soul. She will share anything and everything, she will take risks for her partner and forsake all the rest of the galaxy for them. She will find little tokens to gift them; she will feature them amongst her sketches regularly, she will listen to them and back them up and walk beside them on the most foolardy of pursuits. She will find what matters to them, she will discover what they react and respond to best, and she will make it so. Ahuska doesn’t know how to love in any way other than giving it her all.

Five would never use so soft and loaded a term as ‘love’. That is for a completely different caliber of people, people he cares little for. Allowing someone into his apartment, into his personal space, is a reasonable demonstration fo trust. Giving someone his time outside of and completely unrelated to work is a monumental demonstration of fondness. A willingness to touch and be touched outside of immediate bedroom activities is a grand display of affection. Offering financial assistance/security is an unspoken indication that someone matters to him. Lump it all together and he’d still sooner shoot himself in the foot than admit aloud that he cares.

#ahuska asks #watcher five asks #relationship asks #omg i need to go sleep #ahahaha #apologies if this is riddled with typos and chopped up sentences #what an exercise in contrasts #tyty for asking!!#i love mulling over these things #i hope the answers satisfied #I'm too tired to make an objective judgement 8)

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okimargarvez · 4 years

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NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN (FOR CHRISTMAS)

Original title: Mai più soli (a Natale).

Prompt: between season 14 and 15; Luke has a special Christmas’ gift for Penelope.

Warning: none.

Genre: fluff; romantic; a bit sad and melancholic.

Characters: Luke Alvez, Penelope Garcia, Lou, Roxy, Sergio, O.C. (cat).

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 64 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💑😘😈🐶🎈🎵.

Song mentioned: Casa a Natale, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: I written this story during these days, because this Christmas will be for me very sad: my boyfriend will have to work, our parents are far away and I’ll be alone. This ff is dedicated to everyone that feels alone, even for Christmas. The story is less sad than the reality ;)

NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN (FOR CHRISTMAS)

Christmas Eve

It's starting to get really cold. A tangible or better, empirical proof of this is his breath forming a cloud of condensation as soon as he sets foot in the garage area. He's thinking he'll have to make wear the coat to Roxy and Lou, just to be sure, when he hears sobs. He recognizes the nuance before seeing with his own eyes who is producing them. He seems to experience a sort of deja-vu; he gets close to the orange car. He stays for a few seconds staring at her, feeling powerless. Then he pronounces his joke. -Garcia?- perhaps too low, because she doesn't hear it. -It’s all right?- he adds, however, a detail to that already experienced (although in a different setting). He touches her shoulder with his hand.

And finally, the woman is aware of his presence. She jolts, as a first reaction. Then he sees her tighten tightly what he senses to be a handkerchief. She doesn’t try to hide the evidence, the tears; this time she prefers to pass them off as a symptom of something else. -I...- she turns to him, sitting in the car. -Yes, I think I got something with this cold...- she smiles a little, but her cheeks are not red just because of the cold or the embarrassment. Like her eyes. She seems to realize the direction in which the male gaze points. -Or maybe an allergy.- she tries again, begging him to buy this nonsense, however is little credible.

He understood it, but that doesn’t mean that he will satisfy her. Feeling a little selfish, he leans on the door. -Are you sure? Because it seemed to me that you were crying...- that soft, low, reassuring tone, that he uses with relatives of the victims or victims themselves after having saved them, came out spontaneously.

She looks away, understanding how defeat is near. -For what reason should I have to cry?- she asks, but perhaps more to herself. -No, not a single one!- she shakes her head vigorously and her hair forms a blonde cloud. -Unless, the fact I’m the only one that doesn’t have a family with whom to share this party, is not a valid motivation.- she finally yields, without starting to sob again, but big tears run down her cheeks. At that sight the man reacts without thinking. He opens the door decisively but not brusquely, makes her stand up and caress her face.

She seems to be afraid to look at him, but at the same time she can't do otherwise. -Penelope, hey.- her name instead of a neutral "Garcia" should shake her even more, instead it has the power to reassure her. -Come here.- he tells her, while with one hand he pushes her towards him and with the other he welcomes her. She gives herself up to the hug but tries hard not to cry. Seeing such a finding on a colleague's clothes would be too... destabilizing. She holds her arms still, level with his shoulders. Instead, the man moves his hands and fingers all over his back, in tender caresses, making her feel like a child.

Without leaving a single millimeter between them, in fact, leaning her head on his chest, she begins weakly to protest. -I don't need your charity, Luke.- the tone would be enough to clarify to the federal Agent how much that is something she felt she had to say, but she doesn’t really think it. He moves one of his hands through her hair, aware that he is crossing a border in their relationship. She doesn't flinch, she stays still.

He lightly rotates his head to make her hear him. -Too bad, because I will worry about you anyway.- the hug lasted longer than expected and, reluctantly, Luke lets her go, feeling immediately cold. This has nothing to do with the forecasts that give snow during the night.

And perhaps the woman also feels the same way, because she tightens her arms to her body, as if to warm up. -Shouldn't you run to Lisa?- the question puzzles him.

-I can't believe you don't know.- he replies, after recovering. Inside Penelope's eyes he reads only confusion. -We broke up months ago. I talked about it, from O'Keefe, one evening...- then, the realization. -Wait. You weren't there.- yes, it had been the absence he had heard the most, even though he thought that in the end was better this way. Who knows what he could have done, because of the mix of post-breaking feelings and what he had never stopped feel for Garcia, now that he was single again.

She reacts precisely as he would have expected. She brings her hands to her face. -Oh, I... I'm so sorry, if...- he imagines the rest of her sentence: if there's anything I can do to help you... maybe you have still time to make things right. He barely holds a smile, by hearing Garcia's voice inside him.

He touches her arm, this time in a purely friendly gesture. -Thanks, but it was better that way.- she has stopped crying, but some traces remained on her face. It is difficult to fight against the instinct to completely cancel them with other caresses. He sees her puzzling, trying to understand how all this could have happened, why she had to know it so long after... and finally she comes to the conclusion that, probably, he doesn't want to talk about it. It will be a wound still open, surely. It was his first important relationship after years; they even went to live together. It is clear that this is so.

Nothing could be further from the truth, at least now. Of course, he had been sad, in his own way he had loved Lisa... only, not as much as he would have wanted. And at the first real big problem they had to face, he understood that the thought of her leaving, really leaving him, would not devastate him. And this was enough. Penelope, however, cannot know anything about his thoughts, so she opts for the simplest solution. Change topic. -Won't... Won't you leave for New York to join your relatives?- it almost seems that she wants to get rid of him, but he knows that it is not so. The man thinks back to her words when she admitted that she was crying. The only one not to have a family waiting for her for Christmas. He then understands how she is trying to sharpen the pain, perhaps due to some small selfish thoughts she has did.

He shakes his head, mentally apologizing to his relatives, but he is not lying. -This year no, I canceled at the last minute.- yes, because he had delayed until it was possible. He had cleverly eluded all the mother's attempts to direction the conversation to this argument, months before. And it was partly the reason that caused the discussion with Lisa. You don't want your friends to know me, now you don't even want to introduce me to your family. Is this your idea of a serious relationship? I understand you have problems with commit things, but... But the problem wasn't just that. It was that she had understood nothing, absolutely nothing.

Penelope, with her usual interested but naive expression, thinks of a completely different kind of motivation. -Because of the case?- she asks, frowning when she gets a shake of the head. -So, for Roxy? I could take care of her, really, I'd like to...- yes, it wouldn't be a burden at all. It would be a way to feel less alone, and he reads her thoughts, in the light half-sad half-hopeful smile. And once again he is puzzled by such generosity.

He has a physical need to embrace her, to hold her, to feel her again in contact with his body. To make sure she's real and not an angelic creature or something coming from another universe... because she's too pure for our one. -Well, you know that since Phil...- he can't finish the sentence and violently pushes back the knot that has blocked his throat. He takes a breath. -I got Lou too.- he says instead, with a shrug. -But this is not the reason.- he sees that she would like to ask him, to know then what it is, but she doesn’t feel or doesn’t want to seem excessively nosy. He smiles, placing both hands with satisfaction on her shoulders. -Would you like to have an extra guest?- he asks, completely changing the subject.

He will never know if it's for this or for the new physical contact between them that makes her more confused. -I...- her eyes widen, and her lips tremble. -I don't understand...- because maybe she is really starting to guess. Otherwise it would have been automatic for anyone else to think that he was referring to Lou.

Luke, however, has another surprise in store. -Do you like mistletoe?- he asks her and now his voice is no longer just soft, reassuring, low, but also velvety, mischievous without being overtly sexy. Penelope is capable of ignoring everything.

She shrugs. -Well, yes, it's a Christmas decoration, so I like it, but I can't understand what this has to do with...- he, who has now hit the ground running, has lost all inhibitions and fears, takes off gently her glasses from her nose, before her expression, now yes, really shocked.

-I have a gift for you.- he is whispering, even though he had not foreseen it. -Close your eyes.- her eyelids automatically obey him, tightening, but they rise again after a few moments.

It's nice to be able to see her dark eyes from so close. -Luke, why should I...- he silences her with a slight movement of his head.

-Just do it.- authoritarian, without raising the voice. -Just one time, only once, trust me.- and, even more incredible, she listens to him, executes his order. He admires every detail of her face. Penelope strains her ears as much as possible, trying to understand what he intends to do, starting from the noises. But there is nothing particularly significant. -Now you can reopen them.- she hears, and hesitates, aware that much will depend on what she will see, but too curious to linger any longer.

Despite being screaming inside out of terror, since she instantly recognized what Luke wears and its significance, the external reaction was to burst into a loud laugh. The man doesn’t seem to take it badly. -Are you serious?- she asks, trying to turn serious again.

Arduous task, because he, who from the outside seems the typical tough (and he is, even if she has learned that it is not only this) is really too funny with a headband equipped with a curved rod from which hangs a mistletoe, of course and almost certainly bought by Flying Tiger. -It depends if you are one that respects traditions.- he replies, and it is in his gaze, so intense, so deep, that she finds the strength to respond to it in the same tone.

She bites her lips, undecided. -Mmm, I'm pretty rebellious, but...- but she has no intention of letting this opportunity slip by. Not even for an instant she thinks it could be a joke, that he even has only a micro camera hidden somewhere. The only thing that bothers her is not being able to focus on him, since he stole her glasses. But even from half blind she managed to understand that it was mistletoe. -Maybe I could make an exception...- she adds, catching a glimpse of the man's lips bending instantly into a smile. When he passes his hands over her face, in a long caress, her eyelids fall down on their own. Something tickles her forehead. And then, something else, Luke's mouth, presses on her lips for at least five seconds, she can just stick out hers as much as possible to fully enjoy the contact. Her heart beats inside her head, she thinks she is about to faint. She doesn’t feel cold, but a heat that spreads from the tips of the feet to those of the hair. When they separate, they feel almost pain. -Wow.- is the first thing she says. He seems to think the same way. Their heads are still very close, their foreheads touch. -Thanks, Luke. It was certainly the sweetest kiss someone ever gave me.- it is very easy to mistake the languid gaze of man for love. It is very easy to exchange reality with what she wants. -A beautiful gift.- she adds, magnificently ignoring yet another caress, which this time also touches the chin and neck. -I'm sorry I can't repay, I wasn't prepared, but I'll fix it.- she reassures him. Luke watches her rise to the tips. -Good night.- she concludes, placing a kiss on the man's cheek and scratching herself lightly with his beard. Then she turns around to open the door. But his fingers tighten around her wrist, making her turn 180 degrees.

And bringing her back exactly to the previous position. -Hey, wait.- he says, only later, like a dubbing not in sync with what you see on the screen. -My gift is not finished.- now his tone is hoarse, as if he were out of breath, more than losing the word. -I still have this thing on my head...- he points out and before she has time to do anything, he drags her back against him (much more than before) to exchange with her short kisses, long kisses, dry kisses, wet kisses (at the right point), chaste kisses, passionate kisses, sweet kisses, hot kisses. It takes little to lose count and even the mind. They make infinitesimal pauses, barely perceptible, just enough to recharge the oxygen and start again. This time Penelope plays her part, immediately opening the door when the man's tongue knocks to enter, sinking her hands in his hair, looking for a way to feel him even closer, without finding it. His hands instead run across her back, back and forth, sometimes resting on her hips, sometimes on her ribs, or her shoulder blades, her shoulders, the base of her neck, her cheeks, starting each time around and making her feel inside a whirlwind of pure love.

It is she, of course, who speaks first. Her panting tone is the most exciting thing Luke ever had the honor of hearing. -Should we continue until you take off it?- she asks, licking her dry lips at the same time, and catching all the man's attention only on that narrow area of her body. That's why he takes a few moments to respond consistently.

-It depends on you. If you want it too.- but he caresses her cheek again, touching the earlobe and producing more and more powerful shocks in her body, contrary to what happens during an earthquake. The epicenter? Surely her heart.

Penelope forces her brain to work and get out of the mist of his kisses. How much time will they have spent in this car park? At least twenty minutes, if not more. She almost can't even remember what she was doing before he arrived. However, it is certainly not healthy. -Wanting and understanding are not always on the same level.- she says then, observing him agreeing with a nod of the head. But he didn’t leave her at all. She senses the heat given off by his body fights (and wins) against the outside temperature. -Why all this?- she taps the mistletoe and they both watch it bounce over their heads.

Luke is the first to return to focus on the real subject of his interest. He tightens his lips in a falsely doubtful pose. -I have an answer, but it's sappy.- he finally says, in a forced serious tone and the shadow of a mischievous smile.

Penelope stares at him. -I love all the corny things.- she replies only.

-I know or at least I thought so.- they laugh together, their laughter come together in a single melody. -I like you.- so he says, then realizes that he has known her for three years and that this would have been fine if he had confessed it to her in the elevator, after making sure that there was no Canadian boyfriend and reassuring her that Roxy was not a problem. -No, wait, it's not the correct definition.- he adds, in fact, seeing her frown, while wrinkles appear on her forehead. -I'm in love with you.- here, this is defi-nitely more appropriate.

They have spent a quarter of an hour kissing and pampering each other, yet she seems really surprised. -But...- she closes her mouth, not finding the right words to express her bewilderment. Luke can only be struck by this other nuance of her nature.

-Before you start with your paranoia on the thousand reasons why this is not possible...- he bends over the half centimeter that distance them, still resting his lips on those of the blonde. More than a real kiss, it is a strange kind of contact, a gesture made mainly because he knows he can do it now. -Let me convince you in another way.- he says, moving his mouth practically on hers, and feeling her nod, more than seeing it concretely. They stay there to kiss again for a while, until they think they are satatied, at least to resist for the time of a trip. -Now, you didn't answer my question.- she clings to his chest, but has no idea what he means. In fact, he did a lot of turn of phrase tonight. -Would you accept an extra guest?- he asks her then, going straight to the point.

She answers with another question. -Are you referring to Lou?- dear, sweet, naive, pure Penelope. Does he really deserve such a woman by his side? Knowing what the answer would be, he prefers to ignore it.

-No, me.- he clarifies. Then, he shows himself in a grimace, showing his jealousy. -Roxy and Lou… you have already approved them.- and he manages to make her laugh. But the hilarity doesn’t last long. She soon returns serious and he knows why, before she can tell him.

-Would you... Would you like to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with me?- it would be nice to believe that this is a proposal, an invitation, an initiative by Garcia... but she is voicing her disbelief and her fears. She's talking in his place. She is trying to interpret everything that has happened, to make sense of it.

He sticks his fingers through her hair, caressing her skin. Watching her squint because of his gesture is something spectacular. -With my dogs, you and your cat, yes.- after recovering, she looks at him badly for a few moments, as if accusing him of taking advantage of her, of corrupting her with his sweetness, to get what he wants.

If it were not the same thing that she wants. -Maybe I should warn you that I also have a new partner.- she says however, enjoying with a pinch of malice in seeing Luke surprised, finally him, and also worried. So worried. -It's called Vincent, for friends Vi.- she explains, but it is not enough. -He has an ear hacked off.- then she concludes and the man understands that it is an animal, even if he couldn’t say of what species. Penelope, however, reads something completely different in his expression. -I know, it's a stupid association...- he looks at her collapsing like a balloon and can't tolerate it.

-No, no, it's fantastic, like you.- she hastens to protest, so he decides to repeat it. -You are fantastic.- he greatly emphasizes the personal pronoun. - Do not you have any idea how much I wanted to tell you.- already, but she's starting to understand it. As well as his next moves. -Shall we go?- he asks her and with a sigh she bends down to grab the bag, before inserting the safety lock and the alarm. When she turns around, Luke is there waiting for her with his hand outstretched. She grabs it, differently from Bradenton. Their fingers intertwine. -I know it is not gallant to inviting itself, I would propose my house... But something tells me that you are much more careful with regards to the decorations...- he is telling her, even if it is difficult to focus on his speech, because her body is trembling at that simple, banal, very chaste contact. When her mind finally works again, she blushes.

It is obvious that he expects who knows what great decorations, anyone in his place would think the same. He saw what her home was like, as well as her office. This is why she is sorry to have to disappoint him. -Well, I had little time...- she tries to explain, but she understands that, for the man, it was more like a joke. The way in which he stares her seems to suggest that if anything they can think of it later... together.

He moves his thumb on the back of her hand. She is getting more caresses from him than from the rest of the world in all her life. -Would you like it if I took you tomorrow to see a living crib?- like all his other questions, it puzzles her enough, but decides that at this point, she must let herself go. And then there is always the tight hand in hers to give her courage.

-Yes, that would be nice.- he opens the door for her, even helping her to get on. Instead of talking, she prefers to thank him with a short kiss.

They have recently left the building where they both work, when a typically Christmas music starts and soon after, the words. At the first traffic light they meet, Luke has a way of verifying that she is keeping her eyes closed, sealed. But they haven't stopped holding hands. They both listen in silence. I give up, I give up... to the cold that I feel, since you gave up... The man sighs, feeling an immense pain press on his chest to come out into the open. It is not out of shame, if he doesn’t cry. He doesn't even know. Perhaps, he hasn't managed to accept it yet. I'm nobody, but you're too much. Who I was is now a mystery, but you are too much... Penelope still manages to understand that something is wrong, because she increases her grip, then wraps his right hand with both hers, brings it to her lips, poses a dry kiss. At home I'm always or never, and I count the days in my mind... but I lose the number because my job is forgiveness... Yeah, it's a pity that she's very good at absolving anyone, outside of herself. I'm an expert of the desert, yet I lose myself there...again! He chuckles, shaking his head, having already listened it and knowing what is coming. For her, however, it's all new, like everything since Luke took her in his arms to comfort her. With all that I like... with all that I hate about me, with all that... I don't like about you, with all that... I would like from you... yes, there are a lot of things he would like from her, or rather, to do with her, while many less are the ones he can't stand, because in his view, she's almost perfect. With everything I like... with all that I hate about me, with all that... no, I don't like about you, with all that... I would like to have at home at Christmas... Penelope instead is thinking that she knows perfectly what she would like to have for that magical day, or rather, who. But no one, not even Luke, can go that far. I am alone and it has always been so... the advantage of the defect the fact that I admit it... It seems that the singer wrote it thinking of him, looking deep into his soul. Because you can be alone even when you are in the company of other people, if they are not the right ones. I applauded... I nodded... imbalance of the control the fact that now I collapse... And the woman prefers to look out the window, to prevent him from noticing that other tears are gushing from her eyes. Few, necessary salty drops. And I asked a passer-by who I am, he replied "Who I didn't remember"... How scary your face is if you can't see it in the mirror anymore... But any effort is useless, he still noticed it, only that he also understood how the thing she needs is that the contact between them doesn’t break, nothing else. Then they reverse roles, it is he who now caresses her palm, without taking his eyes off the road. I am an expert about eternity, yet I lose myself there... again! With everything I like... with all that I hate about me, with everything that I don't like about you, with everything I... want from you... Both think of their most beautiful Christmas, the ones they spent with the whole family, when they were small, when they pretended to sleep, but they stayed awake to try to catch the bearded man with a big belly, or when they discovered the truth, and yet, once the trauma had passed, the magic never ceased to hover in the air for that day. With everything I like... with everything I hate about me, with everything I don't like about you, with everything I want at home for Christmas! And then they review the last, the most recent ones. On the one hand everything perfectly aligned: tree, festoons, lights; on the other, the feeling that something is missing in that family picture. Thursday, Friday, Monday... Monday, Thursday, Friday... I imagined having you like this, but I didn't imagine seeing you like this... Thursday, Friday, Monday, Monday, Thursday, Friday... shouting on the news, in the chaos of the service that precedes my Christmas! And then, there remain only the fantasies, the expectations, the hopes for this Christmas that still has to arrive and could become one of the most beautiful for both. With everything I like... with everything I hate about me, with everything I don't like about you, with everything I... want from you, with everything I like, with everything I hate about me, with all that I don't like about you, with everything I want at home, for Christmas...

Luke lowers the radio as the last notes go out. And, almost at the same time, the meteorologists mark a point on the board. It's starting to snow. -You know, it was thanks to this song if I decided to face you.- he tells her, and it seems to have spent a whole life since he last spoke. -It seems to me that in some places it’s talking about me.- he blushes just a little, because he is not used to opening up to the world. But Penelope, she upsets every pattern.

He sees her with the corner of his eye drying the last traces. He would like to be able to imitate her. She clears his throat. Needless to say, their hands are still united. -I thought the same thing.- therefore, she hesitates. She feels the weight of the break in the cockpit. Penelope sighs. -I have something to tell you.- she turns to look at him, even if he can't do the same. -The day you officially joined the team, you asked about my last name. Do you remember?- he nods. -I told you it was from the family that adopted me when the my parents died, but the truth is...- she bites her lip. -It's my stepfather's surname. He and my mother died in that incident.- behold, the situation has not changed much with this revelation. -And I have three brothers, but... During the trial to grant Jesse his freedom, the boy who caused the accident...- another nod with his head. Of course, he knows what she's talking about. He cannot forget anything that concerns her in the slightest. -They found out it was my fault they died.- a hiccup, the first in a series. He understands it from the noise she makes, as if it were digging inside her. -And they don't want to see me anymore.- she breaks the contact to cover her face with both hands. She makes various attempts to quit, so she gives up. -Sorry, I didn't want to cry again or give you this weight...- this thought only serves to make her feel even worse and increase the intensity of the sobs. -I never know when to shut up.- she reproaches herself, overcoming the limit and making him react.

-No, no.- he thinks for a moment to stop, but he wants to get to his house, picking up the dogs and experience what awaits them with her. -You have nothing to apologize for, okay?- he is satisfied with a very quick look. -I'm sorry for your family situation. I'm pretty sure it wasn't really your fault...- he anticipates her protests even before she can speak. -But I'm willing to hear your reasons... If you want to tell me about it.- he manages to caress her cheek without causing an accident. -And even about your brothers... I can't imagine anyone hating you.- is not at all exaggerating. -It seems impossible.- he manages to sense her hold her breath, as if she were about to dive into deep water.

Then she releases everything. -Oh, Luke, you're too sweet, but I already knew it.- being defined in this way, puzzles him, positively. Even for their first kiss she used the same adjective. How many times has he thought the same thing of her? During the meeting with Roxy, when she organized the party for Emily, new chief of the BAU, when she covered him with presents for Roxy, when she helped him with a surprise for Phil... when she gave him and Lisa that picture, or the bottle of wine, not to mention how she taken care of Diana Reid when Spencer was arrested or... he can find miles of examples. He returns to focus on the present. -This is also why I tried to keep you away.- she is saying, and it is a great admission, for her. It means that she has thought of him even before, that she has felt something for a long time, that, like him, she fought and lost. Or maybe won. Life is all a matter of points of view, after all.

He feels his throat tight, the inability to articulate a sentence in a coherent way, he literally trembles, but then, fortunately, he is able to dominate himself. He turns in her way, signaling the turning. -No one has ever told me, because I don't think I 've ever been before.- there is an implicit part that he hasn’t said out loud. -No one has ever pulled out of me this... qualities- and he is about to do it -no one before you.- he parks and takes the opportunity to finally be able to look into her eyes. They are big and scared. Terrified by the possibility of being teased or wounded. It doesn't matter who they are or what they did, what they said; only that enormous fear counts, that he knows so well, because it is all his life that he escapes from it.

He unfastens his belt and rests his hands on her neck, stroking it. -It's my turn to struggle to believe it.- Luke only responds with a glance, before approaching and pushing her slightly towards him. Other kisses, of every known type, while the glasses are fogged up and the snow continues to fall, slow but inexorable.

He detaches, but not completely. -I'll just be a second.- he says, but he finds himself with her lips pressed on his own, without knowing (and he doesn't even care) if it was his initiative or hers. Another inhuman effort to break away. -Penelope, tell me, if I'm exaggerating, because I can't realize it.- he feels another statement (such as being able to become the someone to go to when she is crying) going up his body. -It's like...- he doesn't try to stop it, but he tries to dampen the effect anyway, fearing to really scare her. - You will find this much more than corny.- but she looks at him, seriously serious, and shakes his hand so much that it almost hurts him.

-Say it anyway.- she replies. Luke nods. He opens his mouth and lets the truth emerge.

-It's like we're meant to be something.- bravely, he tries to read her expression. -And now that the process has started, I can't see the intermediate stages.- he tries to make her laugh, but it's too important. -I don't want to scare you or put pressure on you.- she opens her eyes wide, as if only now she really understood.

-Oh.- she bites her lips, nodding. -Okay.- he stares at her, perhaps waiting for something. Then Penelope gives him a friendly push. -Go, I'll wait here.- and she means it in more than one sense. They don't need to specify it.

Despite that sort of promise, Luke doesn't let more than five minutes go by. She looks at him from behind the gate, pulled by two dogs in the direction of the car she is on. He opens one of the rear doors, pushing them to enter. -Here we are.- he says then, reaching her, but not being able to give her another kiss (that of the "I'm back") because Roxy is attacking her. She has recognized her smell, which was probably on Luke, from the moment he has set foot in his apartment.

-My two little puppies!- she fondles them, trying to pet them both, not to upset anyone. -Lou, how you grew up!- the animal replies with a whimper of approval. -Roxy, you're always fabulous.- she doesn’t notice the envious expression of man until the latter opens his mouth to call her attention to himself. Envious of his dogs. As if this was also a novelty. He grabs her firmly by the chin, but without hurting her.

-Well, what am I?- he simply asks her.

-You...- he expects a joke in her style. Even if two years have passed since she last called him Newbie (and he misses, he has to admit it), she kept the promise about tormenting him from time to time. -You are a daydream.- she says instead, trembling a little, probably frightened by her own words. Luke thanks her with yet another kiss, trying to transmit to her as much as possible in that natural exchange of lips. -Are you sure they will both get along with cats?- then she asks, a few minutes after being restarted.

Luke nods, smiling beneath his mustache. -Yes, it all depends on yours ones.- and they no longer feel the need to fill the void with words. The journey is actually very short; even though both had been in the other's home, they never realized that they lived so close together.

Penelope looks out of the window at the complex where her apartment is located. -They will behave well.- or at least she hopes so. It's not like they have seen many dogs... especially Vi. She knows almost nothing about him. She lays her hand on that of the man. -Can you manage both of them?- he strokes her cheek. Will he always be so sweet or is it only influenced by the Christmas atmosphere? Snow, meanwhile, has increased the intensity of its precipitation. They might even get stuck there... it wouldn't be so bad.

He reassures her. -Yes, I’ll parking and then we reach you.- he watches the woman nod, grabbing the bag, tighten the handle and then she changes her mind.

-Wait, just one thing.- he closes his eyes, welcoming her mouth. Then she opens the door, but keeps looking at him. -Hurry.- she says to him. And it's ridiculous, but she's afraid. Afraid that something might happen to him as he walks those few meters from the parking lot to her door. And only when she sees him walking down the stairs, followed by the ticking of the dogs' nails, she calms down. She looks at her little monsters, lined up in front of her. -So, guys. We have guests and you will show that we know how to welcome and make them feel at home...- she instructs them, feeling like a general.

Luke's head peeps out. -Can I?- she locks the cats in her room and beckons him to move forward, the territory is free. -Come in.- he joins her, holding back both animals, who would like to explore the new environment. -Let's start with Roxy.- he immediately finds himself in agreement. -Sergio, Vi, come on.- she warns them one last time. Then she feels something pressed against her back and realizes that it's Luke's chest. That wraps both arms around her body, squeezing it against himself.

He bends down to whisper in her ear. -Look.- perhaps afraid of breaking the spell.

-I'm seeing it.- she replies in the same tone. Roxy is literally washing her cats, both the one that is a puppy and the other, by now an elderly by right, and the two reciprocate her by purring. -Hold me, because I'm afraid of fainting.- she adds and is not joking.

Luke pushes her even further towards him, but unless she melts, it is not possible to stay closer than this. -I will not leave you.- he reassures her. After a few minutes, reluctantly, they break away. -Now it's Lou's turn.- seeing how it went with Rox, they decide to take the risk and leave all four of them together in one room. And they do just fine. -They are so…- he starts.

-...sweet.- she concludes for him. She turns to be able to look him in the face.

-If you had welcomed me with the same attitude, this would not be our first Christmas together...- he points out, holding her by the hips.

Penelope bites her lips, nodding. -I know, but I didn't imagine you liked me and I was afraid you'd be gone, leaving me with a few more chunks...- she tries to justify herself, even though she doesn't think of them as sufficient motivations first.

Luke immediately realizes he made a mistake. -Hey, I didn't want to make you feel sad, it was a joke.- he telepathically asks her to smile and she satisfies him. He does the same. -Only the present counts.- it wanted to be a question, but it came out as an affirmation. After a moment of hesitation, she nods. They look for a moment at the woman's bed, whose unicorns plot is almost completely hidden by the quartet: Roxy exactly in the center, with Vi between her paws, Lou leaning on her partner's back and Sergio between the two dogs. Then, infected by the love that they breathe in the air, they start kissing again, letting their hands wander a little more freely along the body of the other, now that they are sheltered from prying eyes. Indeed, if it were not already occupied, they probably would have continued on the bed, postponing (or skipping) the dinner. It is the rumbling of the man's stomach that breaks the idyll.

-Speaking about present...- she says, but at first he can only stare her lips wet from his saliva. -I had not prepared anything special, as you can see.- she leads him out, to make a trip of the rest of the house, holding him by the hand. -I had no idea I would have guests.- she apologizes. It is as if she felt not enough, but she has not yet understood that for him she is the whole universe? That he is the nothingness in their duo?

-There is no problem, we can think of it later, together.- he has said the magic word. -And as for dinner... I have the solution.- it is so nice to see that look deeply heartfelt and interested in what he has to offer. -Would you like to try Puerto Rican cuisine? I know a place, mostly the owners and the cook... They are as close as someone can be to my grandmother's level.- she nods.

-Uh, sure.- she thinks for a moment if it’s the case to go further or face the issue. She decides that if she wants to have a concrete story (and she wants it) with this man, they can't just kiss each other every minute. The serious issues, the other side of the coin, must also be faced. -But...- she feels him stiffen. -What is that, a shadow that passed for a moment before your eyes?- for a while she fears he will deny or saying she is a visionary.

-You see through me like I’m made of glass.- he replies instead, sighing and letting himself fall on the sofa. She follows him, sitting next to him (but not as close as she would like). -The fact is that I wasn't completely honest...- she doesn't interrupt him. -I declined the invitation to join my family in New York because this will be the first year without my abuela- maybe suddenly he remembers that she knows very few Spanish words -I mean my grandmother, and I'm too cowardly to face that emptiness.- Penelope under-stands that this is a heavy admission, which has cost him an immense effort. The last time she met Lisa, she complained about how difficult it was to get something out of the Latin. In fact, even she who had known him for the longest time now knew little more than the first day she had read his file.

Not only he has revealed his thoughts, he also exposed himself, showing himself vulnerable. It only happened on another occasion. When Phil had been murdered. -Luke...- she says, exactly like that day. But this time she manages to do what the other one he had prevented to. She hugs him hard, rubbing his back, hoping to absorb his pain. -Speak freely. I'm here for you.- and she presses his head against her breast, but the tears don't want to come out.

He sighs, parting. He admires the worried face of the woman, not even it is a work of art. -Thanks- he is tiring even to say this -but I want to think only of the beautiful things that remain of me.- Penelope nods, smiling at him. -Shall we order?- another nod with her head. Then she strokes his cheeks. He doesn’t mind having shown himself fragile, if it means receiving this kind of attention from her.

-Whenever you want.- she replies, concentrated however almost completely in playing with some of his curls. She remembers without a reason the previous year, when, returning from the six weeks of mandatory leave, after Walker had died, Luke had reappeared with much shorter hair.

She backs in the real world just in time. -Do you prefer to consult the menu or rely on me?- she raises the shoulders. She doesn’t know much of Puerto Rican cuisine.

-Choose, only remember I am...- he anticipates her, to show her how much he knows her.

-There is a vast choice of cruelty free food, don't worry.- he winks at her. Penelope opens her mouth to reply, then gives up. She continues to massage his skin, even while the man is dialing, talking on the phone, making it almost impossible. When he hangs up, he looks at her almost like scolding her. As if he was sorry. Who can fall for that?

-And now what do we do while we wait for dinner?- she asks, and her mix of innocence and malice is lethal as usual. He will never know if she said it on purpose. A second after closing her mouth, without getting an answer, her glasses are ripped off and placed somehow on a strangely shaped table. The man's hands remain on her face for a few more seconds, then they begin their descent. They stop to regain their energy on their sides, then leave again, sneaking under the fabric layers: they pass below sweater, shirt, and finally touch her naked skin. She shudders, not just because his hands are cold. She bites his lips. Both open again their eyes. -Before we go further, I want you to know that I’m too… I’m in love with you.- Luke's hands remain perfectly still, just below the breast. Not being able to do it physically, he caresses her with his eyes.

-I read it in your eyes, but it's nice to have certainty.- then he throws himself back on her, fearing that this time he could really burst into tears... but not to vent the pain of losing his grandmother. He feels that even Penelope's hands have gone further, she seems to want to count his ribs, then ends up on the edge of his jeans, on his bottom. With half-closed eyes, he watches her slide down onto the sofa, until she is partially lying down and he with her, just above. It is certainly not the most comfortable of positions, but neither of them protest. He brushes one of her big breasts with fear. She makes strange games with her tongue and at that point he completely loses his head. They pant like animals in heat, sweating despite not having particularly hot, assaulting each other and continuing to change the area of main interest. Until a sound interrupt their fantasies. Luke mumbles inside her mouth in annoyance.

Penelope prefers to giggle. -Game over.- but he is still above her.

-Just for the moment.- he replies in fact, with a mischievous look, making her stomach turning completely. Fortunately, she manages to recover in time to taste the dishes he has chosen, which prove to be no less aphrodisiac. Luke ends a moment before, so she listens to him talking about his grandmother and his family.

At that point, she yields to the pressure of an insistent little voice in her head. -You are Catholic, aren't you?- she asks, while together they fix the table and make sure that all the animals have the right baby food.

The man looks quite surprised. -Yes, all the Alvez, especially my grandmother…- he shakes his head. She immediately grabs his hand. -Man, everything makes me think of her.- he caresses his back with the other and makes him sit on the sofa again. One of the seats is occupied by Sergio.

-I was just wondering... Won't you go to mass?- she manages to capture his attention again. -It seems to me that it is an important celebration, for your faith...- is that it is so strange to hear her talk about this topic, which is also important to him, but that gave him many problems. Because the Catholic religion, the Latin or Roman rite, an old fashioned...

Not all Americans can understand it, sometimes not even the Catholics themselves. All a matter of habit. -Yes, actually...- anyway, not wanting it, she has touched a sore point. -If I were with my parents, we would go there tonight.- he can't help thinking about them. Will his mother have been able to forgive him? Likely. And his father? Much more difficult. And the uncles, his cousins .. will they understand why this year he gave up forfeit? -Midnight Christmas mass in New York is something magical.- not only the New York background, but the nocturnal atmosphere. Together they get an effect impossible to describe in words. -And it's even more comfortable.- he adds, with a chuckle, to dilute the excessive seriousness.

-I don't doubt it.- she replies. -I...- he understands that she's going to tell him something important, then he stares at her intently, giving her all the attention. -I would like if one day you took me there, even if I have absolutely no idea what to do, I mean...- this time she really surprises him. Have Penelope next to him in such a place on Christmas night? Sound too good to be true.

-I'd like it too.- he leans over to start from where the doorbell interrupted them, but she stops him.

-And then?- she urges. -Will you not go this year?- is the voice of his conscience? Has his grandmother accidentally entered her body? Why on earth she must be so perfect!

-I can't think of staying away from you even a few hours, not right now.- he confesses, without blushing. They have gone too far to make it happen. He even get the second base, he thinks, like a horny teenager. -It has already happened that I skipped it, even if due to a case or a mission...- and in any case at least he listened one part live on the radio. For once, however, only one, he believes he can afford it. He strives to live his life every day as a good person, even more than as a good Christian, and of course he makes mistakes, sins, but he reflects on (too much) and tries to learn, to improve. Something tells him that thanks to Penelope his whole existence will make a quantum leap. With her example...

But she doesn't seem to think so the same way. -I don't want your soul to be condemned to hell because of me.- she says, at the same time gently stroking his chest, over his clothes.

Luke opens his eyes wide, almost amused by the absurdity she has uttered. -It could never happen. You are an angel, Penelope.- is there a more suitable term to define her? From the first time he saw her he was convinced that she didn’t belong to this reality, but fortunately she had decided to give the Earth a chance. There is nothing blasphemous in this. He knows that she is not really an angelic creature (thankfully, he would add), but she is certainly the closer that exists.

However, the blonde doesn’t give up. -Even when we do things that your holy books would not approve?- he doesn’t know if it is a provocation or a serious question, but in any case obtains the effect of sending him into fibrillation.

He decides to play a little dirty. -When I went on a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela, I met a priest who claimed that the only thing that really matters in the world is love.- and it's the winning move.

-I agree.- she only whispers, before they start kissing again passionately, her hands starting to travel, digging, exploring, touching, brushing, and then even the mouths wander along the skin, leaving trails of kisses. Feeling something solid against the thigh brings her back to reality, as well as making her moan. -Wait, there's something I want to make clear.- he helps her return to a sitting position. He looks at her crumpled clothes, at her pants instead of her usually skirt. Everything to make the journey more difficult. -If it had been another man, I would have not allowed him to be here.- and it's the truth. After Sam, no male being who didn't already live in her heart (Derek, Spencer, Rossi, Hotch, Matt, Monty... to name a few) had particularly impressed her. Until Luke arrived, of course. They were all faded and anonymous; he had managed to stand out among the mass even with his dark shirts.

-I know.- he lift her for both hands, walking towards a precise destination. She follows him without protest. But he lets her pull out the blankets aside. He doesn't want to force her. But having no cases, having no obligations... it is practically impossible to hold back. -We're just us.- is the last thing they both say for the next half hour. They help each other to get out of their clothes, without haste, because they have all the time in the world, the world is theirs... or so they want to believe for that brief period, like all lovers. As it continues to snow outside, more and more dense, televisions in the other floors resound with the voices of special envoys talking about the "most intense snowstorm that has occurred in Virginia in the last thirty years". While their animals share the sofa, curling up next to each other, to warm up better. While their colleagues are engaged in a thousand different (not all) activities. While there are those who cry, those who laugh, those who die and those who are reborn.

When their clothes are a shapeless pile on the sides of the bed, they slip under the covers and remain so for a few seconds, warm, embraced and naked. Enjoying only mutual intimacy. Then she turns on her side. They look into each other's eyes. And they start kissing again. Their first kiss was sweet. Their first time is no less. They practically never stop caressing each other, only that they are no longer limited only to the area of the face. Luke pays special attention to her legs, amazing her, because she always thought that her strong point was her breast. It’s clear that she has never noticed the way he has always looked at her move, sway, walk, cross her legs. Now they are slightly ajar. Penelope, on the other hand, lets him do it for a while, standing with her head on his shoulder and leaving kisses on his muscular arms. So strong, yet capable of the most incredible kindnesses. Then she becomes more enterprising. She checks the thing that is going to get inside her. She blushes a little, feeling stupid. The man doesn’t think so, in fact he lets his fingers touch the inner thigh, before finding a new area to caress. Penelope moans his name, as he always dreamed. We cannot speak of words of complete meaning. They sound more like mysterious melodies. Luke returns the courtesy, feeling her hand move along his length. He dilates her, snatching another sigh from her. They start kissing again, silencing each other's complaints. Without him asking, she spreads her legs to welcome him. He takes a moment to caress her. They exchange one last “I love you” eyepiece. This is the real difference. A few simple de-tails. So, he slips inside her and everything seems to fade, but at the same time they see everything more clearly. Without committing the same recklessness as Leonard of The Big Bang Theory, Luke understands that he will marry Penelope, he will make her an honest woman, as they once said; he lives a sort of flashforward where he sees all his family, the team and even strangers, who appeared in his dream, then she, accompanied by Rossi to the altar where he is waiting for her. Penelope feels a similar experience, except that, instead of displaying the day of their marriage, her mind prefers to show her another part of their future together (and all these “their” are needed to strengthen the concept): the cohabitation, the routine, as it will be from now on, quick and confusing fragments, everything that has always scared her and that she has never granted to another. So how to do it without barriers. But she can't get pregnant, not that she wants a child, even if he probably wants it, or... Luke looks into her eyes as he reaches the top and this more than anything else causes her an easily recognizable shock. Although never before has it been so intense.

They don't talk, just wanting to keep their eyes closed and sleep, but the temperature doesn't recommend it. Luke hands her the pajamas, retrieving his own from the bag. He looks out of the window. White, white and still white.

Christmas Day

When Penelope opens her eyes, she sees a handsome man, who wears what looks like a suit, his hair matted, who is staring at her. -Good morning and Merry Christmas.- he tells her. She takes a moment, and not because of the glasses, to realize that it's Luke. -My love, seeing you early in the morning is the best gift you could give me.- that unexpected nickname brings to her mind the events of the previous day. All. She looks at him while he is bending to reach her lips and she kisses him back.

-You're real.- she says. He chuckles. The blonde rubs her eyes, covering a yawn with her hand. -What time is it?- she asks, remembering something else and sitting down, looking for glasses. But they aren’t on the bedside table. No... they are almost certainly on the table. Where Luke put them hours ago.

-Nine o'clock.- he replies, not understanding her agitation. -You slept so well and it was like a show.- she turns to him, trying to put the slippers each in the corresponding foot.

-Thanks, but I... I have to prepare.- she finally begins to explain. She sighs. She wouldn't have been happy to spend the whole morning, even more, all Christmas day. Her whole life in that bed with Luke? -I forgot to tell you something, yesterday and now I can't go back my word now.- he also comes out of the warmth of the blankets, following her into the living room. -I have to serve lunch for the poor.- then she adds, wearing with a sigh, this time satisfied, the blessed glasses. And now she can face his expression. -I'm sorry, I gave my approval before...- but the man literally pounces on her, falling with her on the couch. -Aren't you angry?- she asks, incredulous.

He shakes his head, running his tongue over his lips. -No, I'm... I'm... I can't even define it, especially not without using platitudes.- she just stares at him. -I have to repeat myself.- he takes her face in his cupped hands, her tiny face in his huge hands. Light and dark. Yes, opposites attract and it is not necessary that they love their similar. -You're fantastic.- she gives him a sweet smile. She is beginning to believe his compliments seriously. -This is definitely the sexiest thing I've ever heard.- now instead she chuckles, because only Luke Alvez can think that helping in the distribution of lunch for the less fortunate is a sexy thing. -Do you think two other hands could be need?- she should have expected his proposal.

She regrets not being able to please him, but she gets the so-called stroke of genius. -Maybe later, but if you went to your mass instead?- Luke thinks only one thing: my abuela would have loved her so much, if she could have known her. -So, I wouldn't feel guilty. And then you can help me fix it up, if you like.- she smiles, forcing him naturally to imitate her.

-I like your idea.- then, a change of expression. -But do we still have a few minutes?- Penelope understands where he wants to go, so they kiss each other a little more, killing two birds with one stone, ridding each other of their pajamas, flirting to end up in the shower together.

Penelope's friends from the charity are so keen when they see her arriving with that Latin stallion and two dogs, especially the girls, who soon focus their love on animals, which turn out to be a very effective cure for depression, the sadness and the many feelings that populate the thoughts of those who don’t have a home, a job and believed they had lost hope. She watches him walk towards the little church next door and thinks How can he be mine too? Then he turns around and winks at her before entering. So, she concentrates on her task, always keeping an eye on Roxy and Lou. And she understands when he is back before he puts his hands on her hips, from the commotion they make. They struggle to believe that both are federal agents and Luke wonders why she never said that. It is late afternoon when they return home. Her house, but only because there are cats waiting for them. Otherwise, one or the other would make no difference. Home is where you have the people you love. The next day, if there are no cases, he will take her to see a living Nativity. But now he stops her in the doorway.

He takes her hands in his. -I have another gift for you.- he announces, trying to ignore the flakes that fall on his head.

She opens her eyes wide. -Another one, Luke?- she asks, wondering what else he can pull out of the hat. She just hopes it's not something material. They don't need it. They gave themselves away much more last night.

-My gift is to promise you that as long as I am alive you will never spend another Christmas alone, never again.- she already feels her eyes moisten. -I don't care about the cases.- he silences the protest number one. -I can't give you back your family, but I offer you to know mine, when you want and even my love... If it will be enough for you.- she puts his hand on her heart.

-It is much more than I ever dared hope for.- she answers, instead of going around it, joking about it... or running away. -I give you my trust, my love and my support.- she caresses his cheek, drying a single solitary tear. -You'll never be alone again, Luke. And not just for Christmas.-

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TAGS: @arses21434 @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @thinitta @garvezz @mercedes-maldonado @shyladystudentfan @pegasus-scifichick @paperwalk @inlovewithgarvaz @the-ellen-stuff @astressedwriter @kamieshep @ilovecatswwehp @symphonyashley @jess-the-introvert @veronicafiore88

tell me if you want to be removed from the tag list ^^

and... Merry Christmas to everyone!

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #roxy #lou #sergio #christmas #christmas holydays #merry christmas #natale #buon natale #tiziano ferro #casa a natale

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dawsonsfall · 4 years

Text

Intro - August Dawson

『BILL SKARSGARD ❙ CISMALE』 ⟿ looks like AUGUST DAWSON is here for HIS SENIOR year as a SOCIAL WORK/PSYCHOLOGY student. HE is 24 years old & known to be SELF-MOTIVATED, ARTICULATE, NEUROTIC & RUTHLESS. They’re living in MORIS so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ RA. 19. EST. THEY/THEM.

It’s Ra back at it again with a second muse. I don’t have everything figured out for him yet, but I hope to change that by just...writing anyway. His pinterest is here and his wip playlist is here. If you’d like to plot, just give this post a like and I’ll appear in your dm’s like a genie here to answer all your plotting needs.

This is really just a haphazard list of facts about August loosely sorted into two categories and I apologize in advance. Thanks for reading!

CW: Suicide, Implied Verbal Abuse, Depression, Anxiety, Death (askjksijs I promise it’s not as bad as it sounds, I’m just covering my bases)

Background -

- August was born (funnily enough) on the last day of August to a middle-class family in Richmond, VA. He’s got a younger sister named June with whom he doesn’t get along but loves, regardless.

-(Depression TW, Suicide TW) His parents...they could’ve been worse. They weren’t overtly abusive or neglectful, but his mother had a series of untreated mental health issues - the most prevalent of which were depression and paranoia - which wasn’t conducive to good parenting. She was suicidal more often than not and took her own life when he was 11.

-(Implied Verbal Abuse TW) His father was a very serious man. Towering over most of the population at an impressive 6′7″, his presence was intimidating and his stoic expression never changed - not even when his wife passed away. August was terrified by him. By the time he was 7, he knew very well not to question the man’s judgments or talk back. Sure, his father never laid a hand on him, but the threat of it - the way his eyes went dark and his voice went cold - was more than enough to make a young boy cower in fear.

- There was a lot of pressure from his father to do well in school, extracurriculars, and everything in between - pressure that only grew once his mother passed. His obsessive and meticulous planning started when he entered middle school and only got worse from there.

-(Anxiety TW) Anxiety followed him everywhere, it left him drained and paranoid, worried he’d miss something or forget something and his life would come crashing down around him. Perhaps it stemmed from a lack of control over his home life...or maybe he was just destined to inherit his mother’s special brand of dysfunction; Either way, they were there and the only way to get some kind of relief was to plan. And to clean.

- He and his sister were only one and a half years apart so they pretty much always attended the same schools. August looked out for her - she was scatterbrained and rebellious even as a tween - and she resented him for it. He found it frustrating and eventually let up a bit (but not entirely. She lives like five states away and he still sends her reminders.)

- School was something he excelled at naturally, he was one of those kids who never needed to study and did homework during class because he got bored. Even throughout High School when he chose to take as many AP courses as he could reasonably fit into his schedule, he didn’t have much trouble keeping up with things. (Probs because he can’t deal with procrastination, he has to start things right away)

- He decided on Radcliffe because his father had gone and he was eligible to apply for an alumni scholarship through the school. For as much as he resented his father, he wasn’t above taking the money to get to where he wanted to go.

- Choosing his majors was something he’d done Sophomore year of High School when he was working out his plans for the future. He wanted to work with CPS and figured out exactly how to do it. August hasn’t strayed from that path since.

- His sister still lives in Richmond. She’s a musician touring with her heavy metal band, much to his father’s dismay. Then again, June had never feared him like August was...it was something he admired (and was envious of.)

Personality/Random Headcanons -

- August is surprisingly personable, he likes being around people and he’d feel empty without friends. Still, people are unpredictable and that’s something that irks him to no end. How do you plan for a spontaneous conversation or a party that goes too late? You don’t. He tries his best to not let it affect his relationships, but his temper tends to flare up at the unpredictable and he gets rather nasty.

- He chain-smokes when he’s stressed or anxious (which is always), but he hates the way the smell of cigarettes clings to his skin and his breath so he’s mastered the art of masking it. He’s also looked into switching to vaping, but he hasn’t gotten around to it yet.

- Intense is one word to describe him. He’s a lot.

- Don’t touch his stuff without asking. Ever. He gets twitchy when people handle his things even if it’s just to move them over to make room or something mundane like that. In the same vein, he’s a bit of a neat freak. His room is immaculate and he cleans the rest of the house whenever he sees something that isn’t up to his standards. August is both the best and the worst kind of roommate.

- He chooses his words very carefully. Language is important to him and he hates the thought of being misunderstood because of his wording. Luckily, he’s gotten good at articulating his thoughts and feelings over the years in a way that doesn’t sound super condescending (most of the time. He has his moments.)

- August is very tall, not as tall as his father but pretty close at 6′5″. Sure he hunches in on himself, but it doesn’t make much of a difference. He’s still a giant. A gangly giant.

- He’s trying hard to break loose of his rigid nature for the sake of his career and his future happiness. It’s proving very difficult, especially since he’s got senior year stress to worry about, but he’s determined.

Wanted Connections -

- Unlikely Friends: someone who’s the complete anthesis of August but still manages to maintain a close friendship with him

- Exes: Someone he’s dated over the course of his college career, up to you how they ended things and how they stand with each other now

- Friends

- Annoyances/Distractions: People who insist on trying (whether intentionally or otherwise) to skew his daily schedule or continuously burst into his life without rhyme or reason

- Potential Romantic Relationships

- People he’s using to get over how controlling his approach to life is

- Smoking Buddies

- Anything really!

#m:august #p:intro #intro #d:24012020 #radintro #death tw #suicide tw #implied verbal abuse tw #verbal abuse tw #depression tw #anxiety tw

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damienthepious · 5 years

Text

it’s PROPOSAL/MARRIAGE day for penumbra pride week, and if I didn’t put up more of this fic I would cancel myself

The Rite Of Movement (Chapter 4)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [ao3] [Ch 5]

[Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep, Original Monster Character(s), Sir Marc, Sir Talfryn, Sir Angelo, Quanyii, Sir Caroline

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Engagement, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Poetry, Presents, Monster Customs, Dancing

Fic Summary: Arum has a surprising revelation about his own feelings, and then decides to take matters into his own claws since his humans don’t seem to realize what they are denying themselves.

Chapter Summary: A few personal invitations, and some uninvited guests.

Chapter Notes: Y'all this chapter went a bit off the rails, and I think you'll be able to tell exactly where it happened. That's mostly why it took a full month between the last one and this. Forgive me? <3 thank you, as always, for reading <3

***

It’s easier, with Tal still writing up his field guide to Arum’s swamp, for Rilla to bully the brothers into stopping by her hut for a visit. Wherever they are, the Keep can provide an easy door, and all Rilla has to do is time it right and give them an expectant, inarguable glare. Plying them with food usually helps, too.

When she has them settled in the front room of her hut, picking eagerly at a plate of laddu and a few extra chocolates Arum claims did not meet his exacting standard for the engagement gift, she gets to the point.

“We’ve set a tentative date for the wedding,” she says, pouring tea with the hint of a smile on her lips.

Tal smiles, head tilting slightly to the side. “That’s great, Rilla! When-”

“Finally. Took you two long enough,” Marc complains through a mouthful, rolling his eyes.

“Actually, it will be us three, Marc,” she corrects. Her voice and face are both entirely calm, but there is a tightness to the way she sets down the kettle.

“Huh,” Talfryn says, puzzled, and then more emphatically, “Oh, um-”

“Scales actually agreed to marry you?” Marc asks incredulously. “I figured he’d be a hard sell on matrimony considering how aggressively he likes to pretend to not have feelings, like, at all.”

“He-” Rilla pauses, biting her lip to keep her smile from getting too wide. “He asked us, actually.”

Tal and Marc exchange a shocked look, more at the shy joy in Rilla’s expression than at the information itself.

“Well- congratulations!” Tal says, finding his voice earlier than his brother.

“Yeah, what he said,” Marc says, still seeming a little dazed.

“Thanks.” Rilla preens, just a little. “The event itself is gonna be fairly small. For obvious reasons.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Marc says with a snort. “What’s it, just us and Angelo?”

Rilla sighs as Talfryn elbows his brother in the ribs. “Plus the Keep, maybe Quanyii if we can reach her, and a couple of Arum’s friends, apparently.”

“Scales has friends?” Marc asks, and Tal elbows him harder, and hisses his name. “Ow! What? He just doesn’t seem like the type is all.”

“Why, because he’s a monster?” Rilla attempts to feign outrage, but she’s still too overtly pleased to actually pull it off.

“Mostly just ‘cause you and Sir Damien are the only people he seems to actually, like, like. And I mean ‘people’ in the broadest possible sense. I mean, I helped save his weird castle thing and everything,” he says with a pointed gesture that nearly spills his tea, “but I still think I’m only on the barely-tolerable list.”

“He did come around to see us a lot in the last couple weeks, while I was working on the guidebook. He answered some of the questions I had for him,” Talfryn says, pursing his lips in consideration. “And he kept bringing- well,” he nudges one of the chocolates with a finger, expression puzzled, “a lot of these.”

“It was definitely the most aggressively I’ve ever been offered candy,” Marc says. “Actually I wouldn’t even say offered, really-”

“The plain ones were good from the beginning, at least-”

“Yeah but batch three of the raspberry ones stained our mouths purple for like, four days.”

“Well, that’s true, but when he switched-”

“Tal. Marc.” Rilla leans forward. “Do you want to come to my wedding or not?”

Their eyes collectively widen, and Talfryn nearly chokes on his breath to answer. “Of- of course, Rilla of course we do-”

“Obviously,” Marc adds. “I mean, I was gonna come to your wedding when it was just you and Damien, and I like scales a hell of a lot better than I- ow, Tal, my ribs.”

Rilla grins as Marc scowls at his brother. “Good. Thank you.” She pauses to tuck a bit of unraveled braid back behind her ear. “It’s gonna be on the next full moon. Even you two can keep track of the phases of the moon, right?”

“Of course we can!” Marc complains, and Rilla gives him a look before she turns to Talfryn instead.

“I won’t let him forget, Rilla,” Talfryn says, smiling. “Wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

***

The instant Sir Damien manages to find himself alone with Sir Angelo in the halls of the Citadel, he pulls his friend aside, the words bubbling out of him in excitement.

“Sir Angelo, I have a favor to ask of you, but it will require a degree of… discretion, my friend, and before I ask this favor I must ask for an assurance that you will not draw undue attention our way when I ask. Is this fair?”

Angelo gives Damien a wide-eyed look. “I am the very picture of discretion, Sir Damien! You may rely upon my quietude and discretion and- and another word for the same skill. I am quite adept!”

Damien grips Angelo’s arm, and drags him further down the corridor, jaw clenched in mingled amusement and concern.

“Oh-” Angelo ducks his head, and lowers his voice minimally. “Oh, I was shouting again, wasn’t I?”

“Indeed.”

“Apologies, Sir Damien. I know not my own strength, nor do I know my own volume.”

“I know, Sir Angelo,” Damien smiles. “It’s alright. Here, this one is empty.”

Damien leads Angelo into a small room (or, perhaps, large closet), full of half-destroyed training dummies but empty of other people, and when he closes the door behind them he can’t quite clamp down on his grin.

“You have been positively jolly for days, my friend! What favor could you need when you seem so content already?”

Damien laughs softly, glances at the door one more time, and then quietly says, “You know, of course, that Rilla and I have been engaged for some time now.”

Angelo perks up immediately, grinning wide. “Of course! I have been anticipating eagerly the day when I may act as your second in this most joyous of events!”

Damien winces, furtively looking to the door again, and Angelo shuffles his feet in embarrassment before he repeats his entire point verbatim at approximately half the volume.

“Well,” Damien says, “you won’t have to live in anticipation for much longer, my friend.”

Angelo gasps, clamping his hands over his mouth and muffling as he says, “Sir Damien-”

“We plan to wed in a month,” he says, his grin irrepressible. “On the full moon. Rilla, and I, and…” the grin finally weakens, his nerves slipping cold fingers between his ribs, “and Lord Arum,” he finishes quietly.

“Oh.” Angelo looks puzzled for a moment, and then his expression opens back into bright, wild joy. “Oh. Oh,” and he’s half shouting again until Damien grips the wrist of his armor in warning and he manages to muffle his voice into a reasonable volume that trembles with desire to raise again. “Oh, Sir Damien!”

“I know it is unusual-” Damien starts, but Angelo shakes his head quickly and enthusiastically and puts his hands down heavily on Damien’s shoulders.

“That is fantastic, Sir Damien! You are so utterly spoiled with love, and I cannot think of any man who deserves it quite so much as you do, my friend!”

Damien feels the tears at the corners of his eyes almost instantly, and he valiantly tries to hold them back. “You- you are unconcerned that-”

“Lord Arum is a friend,” Angelo says, as if he is explaining something quite simple. “And it is clear how deeply he cares for the both of you. An abundance of love is nothing to be concerned with, Sir Damien. It is something to be celebrated!” Angelo is certainly shouting now, and when Damien wipes at his eyes and waves a hand in the air, Angelo winces apologetically and lowers his tone again. “Celebrated… quietly! Of course!”

Damien sniffles, just a little. “Yes. Yes, that is- thank you, Sir Angelo. I never should have worried. And- you will be able to… to keep this event appropriately quiet, won’t you? It is going to be a rather… private affair.”

“I… private.” Angelo frowns. “Yes. Of course! Er- with… with whom, Sir Damien, may I discuss this happy and very private event?”

“Er… Talfryn and- and Marc. Primarily.”

Angelo pauses, and then it is his turn to sniffle. Just a little. “Ah, Sir Damien…” his lip wobbles. “Would that I could shout your joy from the rooftops of this city, my friend.”

“I know, Sir Angelo, I know.” Damien smiles, a little wryly. “No one else… I cannot expect that they would understand. I myself took so long to begin to reconcile with the truth of the matter… as much as it pains me to bottle up my feelings and my love and the truth of my heart, it matters far more to me to keep my flowers safe. It is only a drop of poison, and I will drink it readily to keep far greater evils from their cups.”

Angelo’s smile blooms slow, and he squeezes his hands on Damien’s shoulders again. “That,” he says, “is precisely how a husband should think.”

***

The Keep alerts Arum of the trouble in the late afternoon, and its portal quickly displaces him near the northern edge of his swamp.

He sees the commotion right away. A monster - large soft moth wings camouflaged gray-brown and convincing mossy green, a segmented body, twitching antennae, eyes narrowed in a glare and clawed appendages scrabbling with menace - is caught in one of his traps. A nonlethal one, more lucky this creature - or at least, an incredibly slowly lethal one. He arches an eyebrow, folding his arms behind his back primly.

“It appears you are trespassing on my land,” he says, voice low and mild and shivering with danger. “I could have simply had the Keep eject you to the edge of the swamp, but it informs me that it has already done so. Twice. Perhaps you are confused,” he offers, gesturing, “and so I will give you this advice; the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms is protected, and if you continue to intrude upon it, you will not find those protections so…” he tilts his head at the enormous flytrap, its maw sinking slow enough as to be near imperceptible over the moth, “so accommodating. You will pass another way, or you will meet hungrier teeth than these.”

“’M not trying to pass by,” the creature says in a whispering lilt. “Been trying to talk. Been trying to get your attention, Lord of the Swamp.”

“What.” Arum’s eyes narrow, instantly on alert. “Why? What business could you have with me? I am not offering my services at the moment, I’ve made that perfectly clear.”

The creature flutters slightly, wings cramped by the trap, staring at him intently. “I’ve heard tell that humans have been creeping in on your land, Lord Arum. Have they met with such hungry teeth as you say?”

Arum’s tail curls in slow, dangerous coils behind him, his frill shivering at his neck. “And where… precisely… did you hear tell of that?” he hisses.

“Depends. Is any of it true?”

Arum glares at the creature, and then he unsheathes one of his knives.

A rustle off to his left makes him duck instinctively, stance defensive, but all that stumbles from the undergrowth is a human, hands empty and upturned in a pleading gesture.

“Wait please don’t hurt- don’t hurt her, we’ll leave-”

“Oh you absolute fool,” the moth mutters, dropping her face into a pair of claws. “Puck-”

Arum stares incredulously as the human winces, hands still held in that defensive, placating stance.

“He was going to stab you-”

“I most certainly was not,” Arum says. “Who- what-”

“We didn’t know where else to go,” the human - Puck? - says. “And Tetch heard about that human at Helicoid’s court, saying she loved you and-”

Arum blanches, teeth baring in distress, and the human stops, stepping sideways between Arum and the moth.

“Just- don’t hurt her. If you let her go we’ll- we’ll leave. Please.”

Arum is utterly comfortable with Amaryllis and Damien, and by now it is not even unusual to speak casually with Sirs Marc and Talfryn and Angelo, but the tone this human stranger is taking with him now is setting off more alarm bells than Arum knows what to do with.

“You- why would you care if a human claimed to-” he pauses to project a sneer, “to care for me? And why do you care what happens to this creature?” He eyes the human, then glances back to the moth, who has gone still in what appears to be terror. He takes an experimental step forward, closer to the human, and the moth does not disappoint. Her wings stutter wildly, her antennae twitching as she reaches through the bars of the flytrap’s teeth.

“Don’t- don’t hurt them, don’t you dare-”

Arum stops. “You both seem utterly convinced that I am going to hurt you, considering that you chose to come here.”

“So we made a mistake, I get it.” The human reaches out and grips the moth’s claw, their eyes wide and frightened. “If you let her go, we’ll leave. We won’t bother you again. We’ll find somewhere else-”

The moth makes a hissing noise, clutching tighter at the human’s hand. “Stop talking, Puck, he isn’t going to-”

“Release her,” Arum says, making a light gesture with one hand and sheathing his knife with another, and the flytrap begrudgingly creaks open.

The moth gives an uncomfortable burst of clicks as the teeth raise, and Arum realizes belatedly that the trap has pierced one of her wings through. At a cursory glance the damage does not look too terrible, but she will certainly be unable to fly for the time being. Arum rankles slightly, and thinks, that is not my fault.

Once she is un-pinned, the moth clambers out as quickly as she is able, and immediately wraps her uninjured wing around the human, glaring protectively over their shoulder at Arum. He raises an eyebrow.

“Well?” he grumbles. “You’re free. Leave.”

“Just- just like that?” the human says, and the moth tightens her grip. “You don’t- you don’t care that we’re-”

“Correct,” Arum says primly. “However that sentence ends, I do not care. Leave. Leave my swamp.”

“Don’t question it,” the moth mutters, pulling the human back a step or two.

“No, wait, Tetch, your wing, you won’t be able to-”

“I don’t need to fly to leave this wretched place.”

Arum doesn’t take offense at that; hopefully it means they will leave that much quicker.

“Even so, just let me treat it first, you stubborn thing,” the human says, and then they pull a folded leather pouch from their bag, and Arum watches impatiently and uncomfortably as they unwrap a roll of near translucently thin parchment, unroll it, and tear off an appropriately sized patch. They apply a strange smelling glue around the edges, and delicately press the sheet over the wound to seal it. Arum notices, now that he has the context for it, that the moth’s wings have been mended this way in the past, that there are a number of these patches, with patterns hand-painted to match the coloring of her natural wings.

Arum is reminded, in a vivid and unbidden way, of his own hands, gently tying his torn cape around the wound on Damien’s arm after their second duel. It is an unwelcome feeling. An unpleasant one, in that he despises being caused to feel any kinship with these strangers, with this bold little human and their monster.

“Wonderful,” the moth gripes, and Arum can hear the embarrassed fondness she’s trying to hide, and it irritates him even more.

“Indeed,” he drawls. “Now. If you don’t mind terribly. Keep, a portal to the northern border of the swamp, if you would.”

The portal curls itself out of the damp ground, and the two strangers step back from it automatically, startled by how quickly it appears. The moth looks at Arum warily as if she suspects him of deceit, but she nods after only a moment and pulls the human towards the exit.

“But that’s back the way we came. What are we supposed to do after that? We haven’t anywhere else to go, Tetch.” The human furrows their brow, digs in their heels and turns towards Arum with a look of determined worry. “Please. Please. Your land is vast, Lord Arum. There must be somewhere we could stay, if only for a short while, where we wouldn’t cause you trouble.”

Arum thinks of Amaryllis, the first time she looked out his balcony at the full scope of what is his; the wonder in her eyes, and the pulse of pride and pleasure it had sent through him. He shakes that feeling, and thinks instead about Sir Talfryn, enthusiastically cataloging the untold, innumerable wonders of life within his swamp. Thinks of Sir Marc, feckless as he traipses clumsily across land he does not respect. He sneers, shaking his head.

“I do not need any more uninvited visitors cavorting around my home and making a mess of things,” he says, voice gone half to snarl, and there is a pause before the two interlopers respond.

“Any…” the human trails off.

“… more?” the moth finishes, her antennae twitching in amusement.

Arum snaps his jaw shut, his frill pressing tight against his neck. A thousand times damn Amaryllis’ siblings.

“How many visitors infest your land, lizard Lord?”

“That is decidedly not your concern, moth.”

“Her name is Tetch,” the human says gently.

“I could not be compelled to care,” Arum snarls. “The both of you, get through the damned portal or I’ll throw you back in the flytrap with my own hands.”

The moth - Tetch - flares her wings wide, hissing, but the human furrows their brow. “I… I am beginning to think that you won’t, actually.”

Arum glares the fragile little creature down for a long, tense moment, but they completely fail to quail under his gaze. The Keep croons a question through the portal, and Arum hisses a sigh, then drops his eyes. “I don’t have time for this,” he mutters. “If you wish to continue wandering the swamp until one of you falls into an errant hole in the murk or another of my numerous traps, you may kill yourselves at your leisure.” He gives an exaggerated bow with bad grace, then turns on his heel. “Keep, take me home.”

The first portal sinks away, and the Keep pulls open a new one in front of Arum.

On the other side of this new portal, however, Amaryllis is half turning, grinning brightly as she catches sight of him.

“Arum! I was just coming… back from…” she trails off as Arum freezes in place. “Uh. Arum?”

Arum stands as still as possible, his hands compulsively at the hilts of his knives though he is unsure when they got there. He sees, just out of the corner of his eye, as the human behind him gives a strange little wave.

“Ah, hello there,” they say, and Arum bristles as he hears the smile in their voice. “I’m Puck, and this is my- well. My monster, Tetch. I believe we’ve already met yours.”

***

“Ooooooooooh, we are going to a wedding!”

“What?” Caroline frowns automatically, turning from her mountain of paperwork - damn the Queen and damn her again - towards her witch. “What are you on about?”

Quanyii hugs a rather absurdly large bee against her chest, stroking the fuzz on its head enthusiastically as she waves a sheet of parchment in the air between herself and the knight. “A wedding, sweets! Looks like my favorite little herbalist is finally tying her boy and her beast down!”

“What?” Caroline says again, her frown deepening. “Where- where did you get that?” She asks, gesturing towards the bee, the parchment, the entire mess.

“Never mind that, babe, that’s boring. It’s much more exciting to think about how many new and interesting friends we’re going to make at this shindig!”

Caroline snatches the sheet from Quanyii’s hand, and the witch pouts at her as she scans over the scrawling handwriting. “This… this is not addressed to us.”

“Oh?” Quanyii tilts her head, the movement too innocent to be anything but false.

“Your name is not Leith.” Caroline levels a glare at Quanyii, who musters a wildly flirtatious look in return. When Caroline doesn’t blink she lowers her shoulder slightly so her sleeve slides down an inch or so. When that doesn’t work, she flutters her eyelashes like a pair of panicked butterflies, and when even that doesn’t move Caroline’s expression, she finally breaks into a pout again.

“Ohhhh, you’re no fun today!”

“You stole a wedding invitation from a gigantic bee.” Caroline says in a growl.

“Don’t be mad,” Quanyii says, her voice almost entirely buried in a whine. “They wanted to invite me. I can feel it. They just didn’t know how!”

Caroline raises an eyebrow. “They… wanted to invite you.”

“They just didn’t know where to send the bumbly girl here!”

“Hm.” Caroline pauses, her lip pulled to the side in a thoughtful grimace as she drums her fingers off her biceps, reading the invitation again. “I’ll admit, I didn’t think the wilting little knight would have the fortitude to actually go through with anything this…”

“Bold?”

“Risky,” she finishes, shooting the witch a glance. “If stray witches can go plucking invitations out of the air.”

“Ohhh, don’t be like that. I told you,” she presses a hand dramatically over her heart. “They want me to come, and that’s why I know about it. These lil gals are actually very clever messenger buggies!”

“I’ll have to take your word for that,” Caroline says, eyeing the bee warily.

“Yes you will.” Quanyii ruffles her sleeves like a preening bird, her nose upturned.

“You will be sending this invitation onward to its intended recipient, now,” Caroline says, a warning in her voice, and Quanyii pouts again, a little harder this time.

“I was going to, you big mean bully. I want to meet the big tough lizard’s little friend, not uninvite him. Obviously.” She pauses, biting her lip and looking up at Caroline through her eyelashes. “Sooooooooo… does this mean you’ll come with me?”

Caroline purses her lips, and gives Quanyii a look to let her know that she is perfectly aware of what the witch is doing. “Fine. Fine. If only to see the look on Sir Damien’s face, I’ll go.”

Caroline, knowing better, presses her hands over her ears just in time to muffle Quanyii’s piercing, joyful shriek.

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #penumbraprideweek2019 #second citadel #rad bouquet #amaryllis of exile #sir damien #lord arum #(if i tagged all the folks in this we'd be here forever alas)#this one is a bit longer than the previous chapters #also- CUTTING IT CLOSE LMAO #MADE IT... BUT BARELY #the rite of movement

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sapphicdalliances · 4 years

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Hi, Yuletide writer! First of all, my sincere apologies in my delay of getting this letter written up at all, and my enthused thanks for being here!

I’m a simple bitch with simple tastes; here is a general summary of my preferences, and fandom-specific notes and prompts can be found further down!

I very much enjoy:

Romance -- anything up to and including plotless shippy drivel

Short fics, or even collections of tiny fics

Long fics too, so I guess what I mean is, don’t feel pressured either way

Comedic tones, slice-of-life, lighthearted fun, any amount of improbable romcom tropes

Am also hella on board with misunderstandings, drama or angst as long as there is a happy ending!

I’m deeply okay with AUs, and most likely would be down for any modern, romcom, fantasy/fairytale, gender swap, or remix/crossover AUs you feel inspired to explore! My favourite settings include mundane/urban fantasy (witches! werewolves!), anachronism-stew-with-magic western fantasy jumbles, and disney’s Tangled.

Specific tropes I love:

Proposal fic

Wedding fic where the couple getting married is not the main couple

Outsider/third character POV of the main couple

Exes who are still in love/getting back together

Friends-with-benefits-with-feelings/did a bad job keeping it casual

Shipfic where two or more couples are contrasted

Oblique declarations of love/saying i love you without saying i love you

Provision and caretaking (acts of service!)

Aggressive matchmaking/wingmanning by an enthused friend

Hanahaki, or any other improbably dramatic instances of Cannot Spit It Out

Arranged marriage/fake marriage/fake dating

Epistolary fic

Regrettably I also love a/b/o, especially the kind that emphasises on scent safety and contains little to no actual sex

I’m not as into:

Political or social intrigue, mysteries, complex magical plots — by no means a dealbreaker, but not high on my list of priorities

Kidfic

First person narration

Soulmate AUs specifically

In general, please avoid:

Character death or serious/permanent injury

Animal abuse or death

Infidelity

Hopeless or downer endings

Fandom specific info starts here!

Princess Tutu - Ahiru, Fakir

I’ve loved Ahiru/Fakir for years and years — they are both very strong, willful but compassionate characters, and the way they intersect is just so sweet to me. While I would be ravenous for any tutu content, gen included, I really would be particularly delighted with some overtly shippy fic for this one, I hope that’s okay!

Suggestions:

Modern AUs: vet science major Ahiru + English major Fakir meet in theatre club?

Step Up-style remix where they become somewhat-unwilling dance partners because their regular partners are somehow indisposed and work better than expected

That one ending fix-it AU where Fakir writes her back into a girl and they retire into the village, the one we all have in our treacherous hearts, i will never get enough of these

Fakir and Ahiru’s relationship progression as observed by the other members of the school/town

Or mix it up with any of the tropes in my general list! For this ship, I would like a maximum rating of T, please!

Wotakoi

I love every ship in this manga equally but perhaps I love Kou/Naoya more equally than the other two? They are just so kind and so silly, and so sweet to each other in exactly the way both of them didn’t realise they were missing! Honestly, anything with these characters that’s along the lines of canon would be delightful; the particular energy of misfits realising that they don’t have to be alone is something very dear to me.

Suggestions:

Accidentally dating ft. Kou and Naoya, or, “and you’ve made out how many times now? Hmm. Yeah, that’s not technically a bromance.”

5 times Hirotaka and Narumi almost, almost kissed, and 1 time they did; the unresolved romantic tension may kill me and it would be worth it

What Hirotaka and Narumi taught each other (apart from the more mundane gaming and life skills, i believe that she taught him how to smile and be loved by others, and he taught her how to be loved by herself!)

Smutty domesticity ft. Koyanagi and Kabakura — a lazy Sunday, laundry in the sun, fucking on the couch, everything easy with familiarity

The fantasy/MMORPG AU, where Hirotaka is the lazy but brilliant crown prince, Naoya the hapless but beloved second prince, Koyanagi his spymaster and Kabakura the captain of the prince’s guard; Narumi his childhood friend-cum-betrothed, and Kou a mysterious archer who saves a distressed Naoya from bandits in the village?

The gang tries to play DND. We finally find a game that Naoya is good at.

Or mix it up with any of the tropes in my general list!

Nezha - Oubing

I feel 100 different ways about this movie and 88 of the ways are SO CHINESE. The filial piety, the familial sacrifice, the friendship! I do believe that Nezha and Aobing are in love, I hope this is a reading of the text that we share, but if not, gen about their friendship/rivalry would also be well-recieved.

Suggestions:

Aobing has been practicing bigu (a cultivation style that is meant to remove one’s need for food or water) since he was born; Nezha introduces him to food, and other creature comforts — do they have BEDS in the dragon palace for example?? Buddhist-style cultivation is very ascetic and difficult, but Nezha is so wild and full of feelings and love!!

Modern AU: delinquent Nezha and prim, proper exchange student Aobing

Modern AU addendum: nobody believes Nezha when he says he’s got a hot boyfriend in Taiwan and thinks that he has made Aobing up

Arranged marriage/political fantasy AU where the prince of dragons is given to the most controversial heavenly general in an effort to improve both families’ social standing

For a gen prompt, if you want to do something about Nezha and/or Aobing’s relationships to their fathers, debts and affections and resentments, that too would be lovely!

On the other end of the spectrum, i’m down for PWP with xeno tropes re: aobing’s dragon anatomy! So long as the top/bottom roles are not too strictly defined, i just like it when they’re equitable or switch!

And of course, feel free to mix it up with any of the tropes in my general list!

Kazetsuyo/Run with the Wind

I didn’t tag any characters because my favourites were not in the list, and of course because I do love everyone, but my personal priorities are in order: Shindo, Musa, Haiji, Kakeru, Nico-chan, Yuki, the bombastic twins, and then everyone else. The spaces between those positions are very small so if you happen to have a passion for a character/ship lower on the list, worry not, there is limitless affection within me for everyone!

Suggestions:

Shindo should get to take Musa to see the snow… he deserves that

He also deserves to run the ekiden again in his fourth year and not be sick and actually win section 5!

I do think Kakeru and Haiji are most definitely soulmates — if you choose to focus on one or both of them, I really do believe they are in the romantic kind of love, is the thing!

Perhaps their relationship, an inevitable drifting together, as perceived by everyone else in aotake?

Or Haiji comes to Kakeru’s graduation, all their tenderest affections still unspoken, and somehow, without any premeditation, by the end of the day they’ve kissed

You know what I think? I think Hana-chan likes and is capable of dating both of the twins, and I love that for her

Or gen canonverse with everyone (or just everyone you care about) taking turns caring for Nira and reflecting on the race!

As above, please feel free to mix it up with the tropes in my general list!

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun

I only selected Seo and Waka because they are simply my top priority, but if you want to serve a side of Chiyo/Nozaki and/or Hori/Kashima and/or Seo and Kashima being beautiful best friends and/or Mikorin being a beautiful himbo who we are delighted to have here, i would not complain at all!

Absolutely anything about them being goobery oblivious idiots in love would be perfect, such as:

5 times they went on a date without realising, and the time they realised

Everyone else literally just thinks they’re dating and they are completely clueless

Or on the other end of the spectrum, everyone tries desperately to set them up/matchmake for them, not realising that they’ve been going steady for four months

A hanahaki AU would be particularly hilarious with these two, I feel

Urban fantasy AU where Waka is a hapless monster hunter and Seo is an annoying but deeply harmless werewolf who’s been terrorizing his town??

Regency or faux-regency AU where Waka is literally like “drive by your rival’s estate slowly so that she may seethe with jealousy at the loveliness of your new hat” and Seo is like “oh goodness, he is courting me. What a fool. What an absolute buffoon.” and challenges him to a swordfight

Fairytale AU where Seo believes she must rescue the prince from the tower and deliver him back to the kingdom capital, and the prince, who had not realised he’d been kidnapped, thinks Seo is a usurper from a rival kingdom who must be supervised all the way back to the kingdom capital to be served her justice

Or anything else equally romcom-y, and of course, as always, throw in as many tropes as you like!

Thank you for reading this whole mess of a letter, and I sincerely hope I haven’t bored you too much. The most important thing to me is that whatever you end up writing, you are able to enjoy the process at least somewhat, and deliver a fic that you like! I can also be found on twitter at @hawberries_ (for art) and @popplioikawa (for general ramblings), and if you have any desire to send an anon ask to this tumblr with questions, i’m actually not sure if that’s allowed but i’d be happy to get some! Thank you again, and happy holidays!

#shut up phee #yuletide

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the-seas-song · 4 years

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Disney’s Leo Princesses: Rapunzel, Anna, Elena, and Moana

Controversial title, isn't it? Oh well, I'm a Leo. 😉

As a Leo, I'm well aware the general perception of us is based on our unhealthy and immature traits. That's why I'm overjoyed that Disney has created these four incredible Leo princesses.

Before I explain why these four princesses are Leos, you should know what a healthy Leo is like.

In Astrology, there are twelve different sun signs, which are the most well known. There is much more to natal astrology than this, but because we're dealing with fictional characters, we're only looking at the sun signs.

Your sun sign represents your core identity. Just like the physical sun is the center of the solar system and its energy creates life, the astrological sun is our consciousness and life force. Each of the twelve sun signs are ruled by a different planet and element.

There are four elements (fire, water, earth, air) and three different signs belong to the same element. For example, the fire signs are Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius. They share the general traits of fire – warm and passionate – but still differ greatly from each other.

That's because of something called the modalities. They define each signs' purpose, and are called cardinal, fixed, and mutable. Cardinal signs always come first, they are the initiators and take place when the four seasons begin (Aries is the cardinal fire sign). The fixed signs don't deal with change, they stabilize. They take place when each season is in full bloom (Leo is the fixed fire sign). Last but not least, the mutable signs come last, and are known for the ability to adapt (Sagittarius is the mutable fire sign). Cardinal signs are the metaphorical spring, Fixed signs' summer, and Mutable signs the metaphorical fall.

Since Leo is the fixed fire sign, we don't inherit the reckless and impulsive nature of fire, but instead are a steady flame. No sign is more reckless and impulsive than Aries, because they have the double combination of being a cardinal sign and a fire sign. Meanwhile, all four of the fixed signs struggle with stubbornness and admitting when their wrong.

Leo's are well known to be natural leaders and the rulers of the zodiac. We are ruled by the sun and our animal is the lion. We dream big and are born with big personalities, and we can't help but be theatrical and dramatic. This means we are always self-centered in the sense of being strong-willed and having a strong sense of self. It does not mean all Leos are egotistical.

Unhealthy Leo traits all revolve around the ego: attention-seeking, egotistical, selfish, bossy, controlling, pushy, jealous, possessive, lazy, vain, arrogant, aggressive, and obstinate.

Healthy Leos, however, are known for our fire-based traits – being animated, theatrical, happy, outgoing, independent, competitive, charismatic, creative, open-minded, open-hearted, confident, assertive, playful, warm, social, courageous, idealistic, affectionate, romantic, optimistic, and adventurous.

What isn't often talked about is our steadiness, our fixed-based traits. Leos are authentic, steadfast, fiercely loyal and protective, consistent, persistent, full-hearted, dedicated, need to do their best, generous and selfless, honorable and moral, genuine and direct, extremely supportive, hard-working and responsible, dignified, strong-willed, and ambitious and determined.

Something that is often mentioned but highly misunderstood is our trait of courage. Having courage doesn't mean you're fearless or reckless. The definition of courage is “the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc.” It means that instead of running away from our problems or denying our emotions; healthy Leos face them and be genuine and direct with ourselves, embracing our vulnerability.

Having a big personality doesn't necessarily mean someone has a big ego. C.S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” Leos have huge hearts and are incredibly generous. The sun never goes retrograde, always shines, and gives life and energy to all living beings – it isn't selective or discriminatory. Healthy Leos are like mini suns; which is why we are also irrepressibly upbeat, optimistic, and fun-loving.

We're not pushovers. We are like roses – we have both flower petals and thorns. If you mess with someone we love you're going down. We're too loyal and protective to let major things slide; and even if we forgive, we never forget. Little things? We'll try to work them out with you.

Being naturally strong-willed and assertive is healthy – it just means we usually make horrible subordinates and yes people. There's nothing wrong with having high standards and being open about them. In fact, in relationships it's far better in the long run to open and frank about what you need and what you consider a dealbreaker from the beginning.

And oh yes are we ambitious and competitive – but most often with ourselves. We're natural leaders who always dream and think big. For a healthy Leo it's not about being the best, but doing your best. We have to be grand and intense, we're ruled by the sun. It's all or nothing for us. Settling is not something a Leo does. We need to be the best leader, the best friend, the best partner, etc. that we possibly can.

… Look, we're a lot. Not everyone is compatible with a persistent and direct ball of affectionate energy, and that's totally fine. Our strong-willed affection means we can accidentally be nosy and pushy and overwhelming. If you're genuine and direct with us and tell us you need personal space, we'll (try to) back off.

Also, in astrology each sign rules a different body part, and Leo rules the heart and upper back. Our official flower is the sunflower, but daisies and dandelions are also associated with the sun, and thus the Leo sign.

Now, on to the Princesses!

Rapunzel

Before we begin, I just want to say that there will be spoilers for the Tangled TV Series here. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it!

Rapunzel doesn't start out overtly confident and direct like most Leos because she has emotionally abused and gaslighted by Gothel for her entire life. We see clearly in their interactions at the beginning of the film that Gothel psychologically punishes Rapunzel if she is anything other than nice and obedient. Gothel has also convinced Rapunzel that it's her fault if anyone gets upset with her or anything bad happens. We see this when Rapunzel apologizes to Eugene when they are trapped in the cave, and again when Eugene is dying at the end of the film.

All of this has resulted in Rapunzel having a tendency to people please and give in when people get upset with her (when Gothel loses her temper and shouts, Rapunzel pulls back in obvious fear; and she is nervous Eugene will freak out on her when she opens up about her hair). This is not natural Leo behavior, and as Rapunzel heals and grows throughout the film and tv series, she consistently becomes more assertive and direct.

A quick note on terminology – there is a fundamental difference between being nice and being kind. Kind means “having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature” (source) and nice means “pleasing and agreeable in nature” (source).

Niceness is about externally being pleasing or agreeable and not making a fuss. Kindness comes from within and is authentic. There is a similar difference between being dutiful and being responsible. We see Rapunzel's journey with these different values throughout the tv series.

However, despite the extreme emotional and psychological abuse Rapunzel has survived, there are still many subtle moments in the film that show Rapunzel's inner Leo. When Will My Life Begin? shows us her creative and proactive energy, and the reprise confirms that her birthday is in the summer (“summer breeze”).

When Flynn enters the tower we see Rapunzel's fear and belief in Gothel's lies (pointy teeth), but even though Gothel has brainwashed her into believing that she's fragile and incapable of handling things on her own, Rapunzel still has the courage to be direct and interrogate Flynn, which she does in a dramatic way. She not only has the courage to go with her instinct that he's telling the truth, she ignores him when he says trusting him is a horrible idea. She gives him an ultimatum and (adorably) intimidates him; and her passionate statement about never breaking her promises, ever, show the loyal, honorable, and responsible part of Leos.

When Flynn uses her guilt to try to get out of the deal, Rapunzel does not hesitate to declare that she is seeing the lanterns, thank you very much; and that she will use her frying pan on him, thank you very much. Flynn may be the guide, but there is no question that Rapunzel is the one in charge.

While she is obviously terrified of the Pub Thugs at first, Rapunzel still has the courage to demand they give Flynn back and find their humanity. She shows her open-mindedness and open-heartedness in response to them opening up about their dreams.

Because it's not that Rapunzel is naïve. All Gothel ever spoke about was how the world, and the people in it, are inherently selfish and untrustworthy. But Rapunzel defies that lifelong programming to make her dream a reality and see the good in people. This is a conscious action of courage she makes time and time again throughout the film.

Eugene appears in the tunnel. Both he and Rapunzel are surprised she had it in her to deal with the Pub Thugs like that (“That was pretty impressive.” “I know!”), and he is never condescending to her again. It is his genuineness and emotional honesty (two traits healthy Leos have and value a lot) about his name that prompts her the tell the truth about her hair. She sees his inner goodness, and is the only person to ever be interested in the real him. From this point on Flynn is gone for good.

When Max finds them Rapunzel is once again assertive and direct, ordering him to let Eugene go. She is assertive when she orders him to sit and drop the boot, and her natural open-heartedness and authentic charm wins Max over immediately. Then, without being manipulative, Rapunzel uses her honesty and charm to convince Max to agree to her deal.

Near the end of the film, Rapunzel realizes she's the Lost Princess. The final memory she sees is her putting the crown on her head, symbolizing her enlightenment. It is a true Leo Princess that confronts and stands up to Gothel: “NO! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me. And I will never let you use my hair again!”

The TV Series starts six months after her return to her parents and Corona. The main plot of the series revolves around the return of her hair, and the meaning of the sundrop and moonstone. However, her emotional journey and trials of becoming a ruler are directly entwined with the plot.

Throughout the three seasons, we see many more nuances of Rapunzel's Leo personality (for a much more detailed analysis see here). This is what other characters in the show say about Rapunzel's personality:

Her parents: free spirit and hopeful optimism, sentimental, determined, strong, thoughtful, responsible, brave and independent.

Eugene: puts her own touch on everything she does (“Rapunzelocity”), has “unique and artful” ideas, takes chances, shakes things up, lives every second to the fullest, never runs and hides from a fight.

Cassandra: schmaltz, never gives up, fights with everything she has, irrepressible carefree spirit.

Lance: irrepressible.

Monty: noble, free spirit, total disregard for tradition, to heck with it attitude.

Vex: annoying, naïve, “insists the glass is half full even when its obviously bone dry.”

Rapunzel is an upbeat, outgoing, creative, passionate, and strong-willed person. She needs these traits to be a successful leader and eventual Queen. However, the flip-side of those traits means that Rapunzel struggles with admitting her negative emotions, listening when people tell her not to do something, accepting advice, accepting that she sometimes has bad ideas, and generally being too bossy.

The thing is, though, Rapunzel is the boss. It is made clear in the first season that since Arianna married into the Corona Royal Family, Fredrick has all of the final decision making power. She can't overturn his edicts. Eugene will fulfill the same role Arianna does when he becomes Prince Consort.

Rapunzel's relationships with Eugene and Cassandra fall into a very gray area because on one hand they are her boyfriend and best friend; and on the other hand she is their superior. Throughout all three seasons Rapunzel makes the final decisions, especially when they're in a difficult situation. This definitely can be a very difficult situation for them to balance – it is the main source of conflict between Rapunzel and Cassandra.

However, Eugene is very comfortable with it. While Rapunzel didn't make him change, he has changed dramatically, and it's all because of her. While he's her main source of support and is comfortable voicing his opinions with her, he also tells her things are her call a lot, and often smiles during her decision-making and headstrong moments. She completely reshaped his world, and he loves her for it!

Many of his quotes reflect this: “In fact I'd probably still be out there cheating and stealing if it weren't for – wait a minute, that's it!” “It's like you're afraid to be you. And I miss you.” “Two years ago, I'd call fighting jackal-monsters on the back of a speeding carriage whilst a rhinoceros chases the woman I love absolutely bonkers. Now I call it Tuesday.” “I do have faith. I've always had faith in Rapunzel.” and “I don't know. But I've always believed in us. I've always believed in you.”

Excuse me while I cry over how perfect they are together...

...Okay, I'm back! There is a wonderful and hilarious season 3 episode that shows the Leo brand of assertive and dramatic audacity, and I love it so much, I just have to talk about it.

The King and Queen of Hearts

Rapunzel's parents' memories have been wiped, and she's determined to help them fall in love again. Her dad decides to move out of his room with Arianna and bunk with Eugene:

Fredrick: “If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for the time being.”

Rapunzel: “Of course dad. I understand.”

Eugene: “Wait a minute, now now hang on -” Rapunzel pushes him from the room and closes the door. “But this is my room! I mean technically he's the king, so they're all his rooms, but still -”

Rapunzel: “Eugene, focus! We have got a match to make! A match that will spark the flames of romance. In a romance that will burn brightly for all to see! Like, the sun! Burning in the heavens! Which all can see!” Eugene drags her away as she passionately monologues.

The scene switches. Rapunzel is giving a presentation to Eugene, Pascal, Max, Lance, Angry, and Catalina. Pascal hands out the itineraries.

Rapunzel: “The Kingdom of Corona is in crisis. Pascal will give each of you a copy of my comprehensive plan to save it.”

Lance: “Operation Royal Romance? Uh, this is about setting your folks up on a date? You said the fate of the kingdom is at stake.”

Rapunzel: “Oh, it is Lance. If the king and queen fall apart, other couples will follow their lead, and soon, all of Corona society will crumble. And you know what they say. As does Corona, so… goes… the world. Do you want that to happen, Lance?” she kicks her presentation chart to the ground. “Do you?!”

Everyone else is terrified. Lance exclaims, “No! No no no I don't want no no.”

Suddenly cheerful again, Rapunzel declares, “That's the spirit! Okay! There's no reason we can't teach these lovebirds to fly again. And nothing is gonna stand in our way!”

Later, she insists on taking her mom out.

Arianna: “Rapunzel, where are we going?”

Rapunzel: “Oh, I just thought you might enjoy a ride through the forest.” Max and Fidella are decked out in pink daisies. “Dad? Dad's here?! What are the chances?!”

She tells her parents to go on a ride together and when Fredrick hesitates, she sternly tells him “Do it.” He does it.

However, he is hit with a tree branch and falls off Max. Rapunzel has been spying on them, and tells Eugene, “Oh! That looks bad. Excuse me, I better jump in.”

The rest of her date ideas also fail. That night, when Lance is steering the boat for her parents' romantic boat ride, he starts asking for tips. Rapunzel sees this from the dock and uses her hair to take his tip jar out of his hand, and then shakes her finger sternly at him.

The situation worsens when King Trevor arrives and invites Arianna to go sea-serpent watching the next day.

Rapunzel interrupts their conversation. “Um, excuse me. King Trevor, may I speak with you a moment? In private?” As soon as they leave the room she knocks him out with her frying pan. He wakes tied to a chair with her hair, just like Eugene did in the film.

Rapunzel: “You are not fooling anyone, buster. You've come to woo my mother. Well, I've got bad news for you. There will be no wooing of any kind.” She gets in his face with her frying pan. “This is a no woo zone. Not while this princess is princess-ing.”

Trevor: “It's true. Long ago, I was naïve enough to think that I could woo fair Arianna. But she remains married to Fredrick, and I respect the institution of marriage too much! Inter-Kingdom law demands that I do.”

Rapunzel is still suspicious, “Alright. But I'm watching you.”

The next day, Rapunzel can't stop thinking (or talking) about her mom and Trevor. She realizes his plan and goes to stop him from trying to marry Arianna. Of course, Arianna is loyal to her family and doesn't need saving.

… I just, I can't with this episode. It's too hilarious. Rapunzel seriously knocks out another kingdom's monarch with her frying pan! She has no tolerance for the situation and she's not afraid to show it!

Now for Rapunzel's Leo symbolism.

Let's start with the obvious – it's impossible to talk about Rapunzel without talking about the Sundrop Flower. The Sundrop Flower is a magical flower created from a drop of sunlight that fell to the earth. It could heal anything, even natural aging. While the magical power of the Sundrop is contained in Rapunzel's hair, Rapunzel herself is the personification of the sun.

Rapunzel is the Crown Princess of Corona. Corona's emblem is the sun and it's official color is purple. Historically, purple is the color of royalty and 'corona' is Latin for 'crown' (see here).

It is canon that Rapunzel's birthday is in the summer because when she is singing the reprise of When Will My Life Begin?she mentions the “summer breeze.”

In the TV series, one of Eugene's main nicknames for her is sunshine. In the film, Gothel also indirectly calls her a ray of sunshine: “The world is dark and selfish and cruel. If it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine, it destroys it!”

This is the extent of her symbolism directly associated with the sun. However, daisy flower symbolism is also connected directly to sun, which makes it a Leo symbol.

The etymology of daisy is “day's eye” because the petals open at dawn and close at dusk (source). Daisies generally symbolize new hope and new beginnings. However, since different colors have different meanings, white daisies also symbolize innocence and purity, yellow hope and happiness, pink love and femininity, and purple royalty and thoughtfulness (source, source, and source).

Rapunzel has a lot of important daisy symbolism. In the film, Big Nose offers her a white daisy when he sings, “I really want to make a love connection.” This symbolizes the innocence and purity of his dream. Then, after Rapunzel returns to the tower, the last flower Gothel removes from her hair is a purple daisy, as she says, “There, it never happened.” This obviously symbolizes Gothel stealing both Rapunzel's freedom and royal identity.

In the tv series, Rapunzel wears a white daisy in her hair whenever she wears her season one outfit and on the Rapunzel wigs Eugene makes in Challenge of the Brave (it is also included in almost all of her season one merch). When she wears her winter outfit in Queen for a Day, there is a pink daisy on her earmuff band. There is also a pink daisy on Monty's Gopher Grab winner's ribbon.

When the series got renamed as “Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure” for the second and third seasons, the new logo contained white, pink, and purple daisies in Rapunzel's hair. Her adventure bag has a pink and a white daisy on it. In the season 2 episode Freebird Rapunzel uses pinkish purple daises to make flower crowns for her and Cass.

In the season three intro, Rapunzel has a vase full of flowers on her desk, which include a sunflower (the official Leo flower) and a purple daisy. At the end of the first episode of season three, Rapunzel appears in her new season three outfit, for the song “Stronger Than Ever Before.” She is now the acting Queen because her parents memories have been wiped, and the song starts with this picture:

Rapunzel plucks the purple daisy and puts it in her hair, right above a pink daisy (she also draws pink daisies in her chalk drawing during the song). She wears these two daisies throughout season three. The only exception is when she is in her nightgown, then she's wearing a pink and a white daisy.

Rapunzel wearing a white daisy in the first season symbolizes her innocence as she explores and adjusts to her new life. In the third season, Rapunzel has already grown into herself as a leader and queen; so the purple and pink daisies symbolize her growth, with the purple daisy as her royal 'crown' (also, her main outfits are always a combination of purple and pink).

In Tangled Ever After, the flowers Pascal are throwing are purple, yellow, and white daisies.

In the game Disney Emoji Blitz, Rapunzel's blonde haired emojis contain white, pink, and purple daisies.

Anna

Now, I know calling Anna a Leo is extremely controversial!

Why? Because Jennifer Lee, who is one of the co-directors and co-writers for the Frozen films, said that Elsa was born on the Winter Solstice (December 21) and Anna on the Summer Solstice (June 21). Astrologically and personality wise, this is perfect for Elsa. She definitely fits the earth sign Capricorn.

The same cannot be said for Anna. The Summer Solstice is aligned with the water sign Cancer. Anna is clearly a fire sign, her personality leaves no room for doubt. She has none of the personality traits of a Cancer. What's more, not only does she have the personality of a Leo, the plot revolves around her understanding of the heart (the Leo body part) and she is decked out in one of the main Leo symbols (the sunflower).

Because Anna is the second child, she wasn't given the training and responsibilities Elsa received growing up. However, those skills aren't what's truly important. In Frozen Anna spends her whole childhood refusing to give up on Elsa. After Elsa runs away, Anna naturally takes charge and responsibility, telling everyone, “It was an accident. She was scared. She didn't mean it! She didn't mean any of this! Tonight was my fault. I pushed her, so I'm the one that needs to go after her. Bring me my horse! I'll bring her back and I'll make this right.” Spoken like a true Leo Queen.

Anna refuses to listen to anyone's doubts – she knows Elsa is good, and nothing anyone says will change her mind. And while Anna was wrong about Hans, the whole point of the plot is that she was right about true love. “An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart.” Anna's ability to love unconditionally is what saves Elsa; and both Elsa and Kristoff learn to be less cynical and embrace love. (Anna to Elsa: “I knew you could do it.”)

In Frozen Fever, Anna is mature, selfless, and protective. She worries the entire time about Elsa’s health, saves Elsa again, and says the best birthday present was Elsa letting Anna take care of her. In Olaf’s Frozen Adventure, Anna takes the lead and starts looking for a family tradition so she and Elsa can celebrate together.

In Frozen 2, Anna will literally follow Elsa into fire, and scold her afterwards for being reckless. Anna tamed the earth spirit because she is that side (physical, 'ordinary’) of the bridge. She and the earth spirit completed the journey, made things right, and balance was reset. She saved everyone again, which Elsa rightfully tells her. Anna is the true Queen of Arendelle, and the end of her character arc was her overcoming her childhood abandonment by standing on her own two feet (literally) and trusting herself.

Anna's leadership and heart is what saves the day in both films. Elsa: “Lost me? You saved me. Again.” “You did what was right, for everyone.”

Now, the sunflower symbolism. Aside from being the official Leo flower, sunflowers only bloom in mid to late summer. Frozen Fever is all about Anna's birthday, and sunflowers are literally everywhere. They are the cake design, the pattern on the tablecloths, the chairs, the banners, the balloons; the pattern on Anna's dress, on the back of her vest, her hair clip, bouquet, scarf, cloak, and on the headdress thing (I couldn't find it's correct name online).

Why all the sunflowers? We know from the first film that Arendelle's emblem is the crocus flower, so they don't represent the country. They also appear on almost all Anna merchandise based on Frozen Fever. Ergo, they represent Anna.

Elena

Elena is from the TV show appropriately titled, Elena of Avalor. It is a wonderful show and there are many moments that show her Leo personality. However, I don't want to spoil the plot for anyone, so I'm only going to go over the first episode and a few other telling moments. I'm not going to summarize the general plot because it has a lot of (wonderful!) lore; I'm just going to tell you about Elena.

Elena is sixteen and the crown princess. Her parents have died; but her maternal grandparents, little sister, and older cousin are still alive. The first episode starts with Elena excited to be crowned Queen. She begins the day of her coronation by giving her little sister Isabel a thoughtful gift and racing her to breakfast. Unfortunately for Elena, she finds out at breakfast that she's not being coronated Queen, but Crown Princess. She must have a Grand Council to help her rule Avalor, and approve her major decisions, until she comes of age.

Elena is not pleased. She insists she is ready to rule, and her grandfather says that is why she is not ready to rule yet. Determined to prove herself, Elena arranges to meet with the city leaders and make sure they have what they need (singing, “I'll take charge like the leader I know I can be and take care of all those who are counting on me”).

While she is talking to the Harbor Master, it is reported that three ships have been stolen that day. Elena declares that they need to start searching immediately and that she'll lead the search. She gets told she has to keep her appointments and let the navy handle it. She reluctantly agrees, and Isabel stays behind with a guard so she can draw the dock.

Isabel and Gabe, her guard, end up on the next stolen boat. Elena leaves immediately to find them, disregarding all protests. She also dismisses her advisor Zuzo's attempt to give advice. Isabel has the great idea to leave Elena a trail of paper pieces down the rivers. Once they arrive, Elena refuses to wait and strategize before going in. A fight breaks out, and now that Isabel is safe, Elena refuses to leave because “it's [her] job to protect everyone!” Poor Gabe. Unfortunately, the fight doesn't go Elena's way.

Zuzo asks if she's ready to listen, and she says yes. He helps her see that her rushing around trying to prove herself had gone “not so well” and asks her to think about why the magical creatures had stolen the ships in the first place. Elena realizes her mistakes, “I was so busy trying to prove I could be a great queen, I forgot to act like one.” She may not be ready to rule, but she is ready to learn. After talking to the leader of the magical creatures she finds out they are just trying to get home, so she helps them.

That night at the coronation, Elena tells everyone, “Today I set out to prove that I was ready to be Queen of Avalor and I learned that I have a lot to learn before I become Queen.” She then appoints her Grand Council and vows “to protect and defend the Kingdom of Avalor as Crown Princess.”

Later in the first season, Elena attends a Royal Retreat that is made up of only Kings. After getting hazed by the arrogant King Hector, Elena has had enough when a problem arises. Breaking from the group, she declares, “I don't need to be one of the Kings, I am going to be Queen.”

Then in the season 3 episode Shooting Stars, we learn that while Elena has had significant doubts and not known what to do before, self-doubt is a new emotion for her.

Overall, the plot of the series revolves around Elena's journey as she experiences the challenges of ruling and being a ruler.

As we can see from these examples, Elena is loving, generous, honorable, and protective. As a natural leader she genuinely has a strong need to take care of and protect her people and kingdom as well as her personal loved ones. While she is never arrogant, she can sometimes be overconfident and impatient, with a need to do and help. Holding herself back and not immediately going into protective lioness mode and jumping into action is a significant struggle for her; especially when her emotions are involved or someone she loves is in danger. Another theme of the series is her learning to rely on others and take their advice. All of these traits make her a well rounded Leo character.

Elena doesn't have any direct Leo symbolism; however, she does wield the magical Scepter of Light. Also, the show premiered on July 22, 2016, the day before Leo season began; and the final episode aired August 23, 2020, the day after Leo season ended.

Moana

Practically all of Moana's lines illustrate her Leo personality, so I'm only going to go over her most defining Leo moments.

During Where You Are, Tala sings, “You are your father's daughter/Stubbornness and pride/Mind what he says but remember/You may hear a voice inside/And if the voice starts to whisper/To follow the farthest star/Moana, that voice inside is who you are.”

You can't get anymore Leo than this! Gramma Tala is encouraging Moana not to get trapped in the pitfalls of ego and listen to her inner self.

Because like any Leo, Moana has a strong sense of self. She has been drawn to the ocean her entire life. And yet, at the same time, she loves her family and people deeply. This dichotomy is her main inner conflict.

After Tui shows her the Chiefs' stone pile, Moana genuinely tries to forget the ocean; and we see that leadership doescome naturally to her. We also see that she's intelligent and thinks well on her feet. After watching her successfully solve another problem, Tui tells her, “This suits you.”

But then comes a problem that can't be easily fixed. There are no fish in the lagoon anymore.

Moana: “What if we fished beyond the reef?”

Tui: “No one goes beyond the reef.”

Moana: “I know. But if there are no fish in the lagoon -”

Tui: “Moana!”

Moana: “- and there's a whole ocean...”

Tui: “We have one rule.”

Moana: “An old rule, when there were fish.”

Tui: “A rule that keeps us safe!”

Moana: “But dad -”

Tui: “Instead of endangering our people so you can run right back to the water! Every time I think you're past this. No one goes beyond the reef!”

While Moana still feels her connection to the ocean, she only brought it up in an attempt to help their people.

In How Far I'll Go, she sings, “I wish I could be the perfect daughter/But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try”

and: “I know everybody on this island has a role, on this island/So maybe I can roll with mine/I can lead with pride, I can make us strong/I'll be satisfied if I play along/But the voice inside sings a different song/What is wrong with me?”

Moana isn't worried about her leadership capabilities. She's despairing because no matter how well she does at it, it will not make her happy.

When Tala shows Moana the boats, and explains the story of their ancestors, she gives Moana a solution to her conflict:

Tala: “To protect our people, the ancient chiefs forbid voyaging. And now, we have forgotten who we are. And the darkness has continue to spread. Chasing away our fish, draining the life from island after island.” she shows Moana a dead area.

Moana: “Our island.”

Tala: “But one day, someone will journey beyond our reef, find Maui, deliver him across the great ocean to restore the heart of Te Fiti.” she gives Moana the heart. “I was there that day. The ocean chose you.” The ocean rises to look at Moana.

Moana: “I thought it was a dream.”

Tala: “Nope! Our ancestors believed Maui lies there at the bottom of his hook. Follow it and you will find him.”

Moana: “But... Why would it choose me? I don't even know how to make it past the reef.” she thinks of her dad. “But I know who does!”

During her subsequent fight with Tui, Moana declares, “You told me to help our people! This is how we can help our people.”

For the first time, both sides of Moana are in alignment. However, Tala's collapse interrupts the argument.

Gramma Tala: “Go.”

Moana: “Not now. I can't.”

Gramma Tala: “You must. The ocean chose you. Follow the fish hook.”

Moana: “Grandma.”

Gramma Tala: “And when you find Maui, you grab him by the ear. You say... I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat, sail across the sea, and restore the heart of Te Fiti.”

Moana: “I... I can't leave you.”

Gramma Tala: “There is nowhere you could go that I won't be with you. Go.”

Moana goes.

Moana's faith in her beloved grandmother is the main force driving her. She doesn't know why the ocean chose her, it's Tala's certainty that gives her her confidence in her mission. And by accepting it, she accepts herself: “Every turn I take, every trail I track/Is a choice I make, now I can't turn back/From the great unknown where I go alone/Where I long to be”

Moana has a temper, and she expresses it in the class Leo way: bossy and direct. When her boat gets wrecked, she stomps down to the ocean, shouting, “Um, what?! I said help me! And wrecking my boat?! Not helping!” she tries to kick the water but the ocean moves back and she falls. “Fish pee in you! All day! So!” she growls.

Then, while she has been extremely nervous about meeting Maui, his talking over her and patronizing manner quickly irritate her. She loses her temper when he says, “I know, not every day you get a chance to meet your hero.”

Moana instinctively reacts by smacking him in the stomach with her oar and grabbing his ear, declaring, “You are not my hero. And I'm not here so you can sign my oar! I'm here because you stole the heart of Te Fiti! And you will board my boat, sail across the sea, and put it back!”

Maui is stunned that she has the audacity to whap 'the great demigod,' but Moana doesn't care. During their journey she continually talks back to and defies him, not giving an inch, in their battle for dominance. The ocean helps her, and Maui eventually folds.

On a serious note, the weight of her responsibilities continue to weigh heavily on her. She has a nightmare about being helpless as her island and parents are destroyed, and later tells Maui, “You don't wanna talk? Don't talk. You wanna throw me off the boat? Throw me off. You wanna tell me I don't know what I'm doing? I know I don't. I have no idea why the ocean chose me. You're right. But... my island is dying. So I am here. It's just me and you. And I want to help. But I can't if you don't let me.”

Things come to a head between Moana and Maui when they face Te Ka and fail.

Maui: “I told you to turn back.” Moana: “I thought we could make it.” Maui: “We?” Moana: “I thought... I could make it.” she looks at his hook “We can fix it.” Maui: “It was made by the gods. You can't FIX it.” Moana: “Next time we'll be more careful. Te Ka was stuck on the barrier islands. It's lava. It can't go in the water. We can find a way around.” Maui: “I'm not going back.” Moana: “What – We still have to restore the heart.” Maui: “My hook is cracked. One more hit and it's over.” Moana: “Maui, you have to restore the heart!” Maui: “Without my hook, I am nothing.” Moana: “That's not true.” Maui: “WITHOUT MY HOOK, I AM NOTHING!” He drops the heart. Moana: “We are only here because you stole the heart in the first place.” Maui: “No, we're here because the ocean told you you're special and you believed it.” Moana: “I am Moana of Motunui. You will board my boat -” Maui: “Goodbye, Moana.” Moana: “Sail across the sea -” Maui: “I'm not killing myself so you can prove you're something you're not.” Moana: “- and restore the heart of Te Fiti! The ocean chose me!” Maui: “It chose wrong.” he leaves. Moana: “Maui!”

Moana was overconfident and didn't listen when Maui told her to retreat. Her actions were reckless. Sometimes being strong-willed and never backing down or giving up ends up causing significant problems for Leos, especially in relationships.

Maui knows exactly what to say to hurt Moana. He attacks her sense of self and her desire to save the world. These are core Leo traits.

Moana is left devastated. She has gotten this far out of faith in her grandmother, and has pushed away her insecurities and confusion over why the ocean chose her. Maui has destroyed her confidence and faith.

Moana gives the Heart back to the ocean and Tala's ghost appears.

Moana: “I tried, grandma. I... I couldn't do it.”

Tala: “It's not your fault. I never should have put so much on your shoulders. If you're ready to go home, I will be with you.”

Moana goes to put her oar in the water but stops at the last moment. She can't do it.

Tala: “Why do you hesitate?”

Moana: “I don't know.”

Tala is giving Moana an out, where she can walk away from responsibility and failure. But something inside Moana refuses to let her do it. Because if she did it, she wouldn't be herself anymore.

Tala: “I know a girl from an island She stands apart from the crowd She loves the sea and her people She makes her whole family proud Sometimes the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you And when that voice starts to whisper “Moana, you've come so far” Moana listen, do you know who you are?”

Once again, Tala is encouraging Moana to listen to her inner self.

Moana: “Who am I?

I am a girl who loves my island And the girl who loves the sea, it calls me I am the daughter of the village chief We are descended from voyagers Who found their way across the world They call me

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther” (the ghost chief nods in respect to her, touching his similar necklace) “I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all It's inside me It's like the tide Always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart You remind me That come what may I know the way

I am Moana!”

She dives into the ocean and grabs the Heart.

Here is the climax of Moana's character arc. Instead of basing her confidence and sense of inner alignment on what her grandmother or Maui say, she looks inwards and finds her inner sense of wholeness and confidence. She accepts and embraces her entire self for the first time.

Moana fixes her boat. “I am Moana of Motunui. I'll board my boat. I will sail across the sea and restore the heart of Te Fiti.”

She makes the multiple days' journey back to Te Fiti by herself and makes it through the barrier reef because of her smart thinking. It's only then Maui returns, saying, “I've got your back, chosen one. Go save the world.”

After Moana realizes Te Ka is Te Fiti, she tells the ocean, “Let her come to me” and walks bravely and confidently to meet Te Fiti. This is her destiny, and she is certain of her actions.

Moana: “I have crossed the horizon to find you

I know your name

They have stolen the heart from inside you

But this does not define you

This is not who you are

You know who you are”

Moana gives the heart to Te Ka and she turns back into Te Fiti.

By embracing her whole self, she finished her journey of transformation into an incredible leader. This is shown by several moments, including when she and Maui part.

Moana: “You could come with us, you know. My people are going to need a master wayfinder.”

Maui: “They already have one.”

A tattoo of Moana on her boat appears right next to his heart. She starts crying and gives him a massive hug.

Once Moana returns home, she starts teaching her people everything there is to know about wayfinding. When they are about to leave for their first big journey, the ocean gives Moana a conch shell, just like it did when she was a baby. She puts the shell on the Chief's stone pile as her 'stone,' taking her place as a ruler of Motunui.

Moana doesn't have any direct Leo symbolism. However, she does have an incredibly symbolic connection to Tangled's Sundrop Flower. While Disney often puts easter eggs from other films in their animated works, none are as profound or prominent as the Sundrop Flower.

The Sundrop Flower appears twice in Moana. The first time is during How Far I'll Go. It's in a patch of flowers to the right of Moana as she runs down to the sea. The second time is near the end, and it's much more prominent.

As Moana returns to Motunui, the Sundrop Flower is the first plant on her island we see come back to life. This symbolizes both Moana's embracing of her whole self, and how her return brings light and life back to Motunui.

Conclusion

I'm so incredibly grateful that Disney has given us these four amazing Leo princesses. They are all unique people in their own right, yet at the same time they all embody the essence of the Leo sign. All four of their character arcs focus on their evolution into noble and wise Queens, and I'm inspired by them everyday.

Thank you for reading!

#Rapunzel #Anna #Elena #Moana #Tangled #Frozen #Elena of Avalor #Disney #Mine #Leo #Zodiac #Leo sign

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