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i-put-the-hot-in-psychotic · 5 days

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Target Acquired PART 1

Pairings: Keegan. P. Russ x Soldier!Reader

Enemies to Lovers Trope

Summary: You and Keegan were somewhat of enemies, if that could be said. You got shot by him when you were on a mission, and hide in a nearby warehouse, but what happens when you actually get to talking, and showing him that you are not a scared woman and you mean business as much anyone else.

Disclaimer: This story will contain curse words, war themes, gun shot wounds, and (NSFW) sexual themes in part 2.

"Fuck"

You seeth between your teeth. You got shot, but from where you don't know. You rested your back against the metal crate breathing deeply.

You are enemies.

He was good, shooting you like that. You couldn't see in the the dusty air surrounding you. The abandoned warehouse. You just need to get there, hide there at least until you patch yourself.

The building is dark and has no lights except for the sunlight from the broken windows. All of a sudden, footsteps start getting closer. A man turns into the room. It's him.

He points his gun at you, scanning your body.

"Take your weapons off and push them towards me." He demands.

"Why? You already shot me. Might as well end it here" you say as you leaned against the wall breathing heavy holding your abdomen and applying pressure.

He walks towards you, still pointing his gun at you. "I need to make sure you are unarmed first. Take your weapons off and put them on the ground. Now!"

Sighing heavily sending him daggers, as if you're in a position to shoot, you removed your weapons and shot them towards him with a kick of your foot.

"There happy?"

He catches each one of the weapons with a holt underneath his heavy boot.

"I need to search you." He says, after a moment of dead silence.

"Take off your clothes and throw them towards me."

You stop dead in your tracks. Eyes trying to meet his, sadly having the light come from behind him it made him just a silhouette. He wasn't serious was he?

The corner of his mouth rises into a slight smile. "You heard me. Remove your clothes."

"Keegan"

"What?"

"Im not going to. I gave you my weapons what more could you want. Leave me to bandage myself." you state finalizing your bandage with a knot.

His expression sharpens, becoming somewhat frustrated.

"You aren't going anywhere until I say so. Remove your clothes, now."

You get up, winching at the pain in your abdomen. Keegan got you good shooting just beneath your chest plate. You removed your chest plate and your thigh holsters. Giving him a look as he urged you to continue.

You removed your top leaving you in your string one and finally went to your cargo pants, removing your boots too.

"This isn't very ethical. Even during war" you state.

Your string top had blood all over it sticking to your naval, but pushing the pain away you strengthen in front of him, trying to subside your anger. He was not going humiliate you.

His eyebrows arch in surprise as he stares at your body. He walks around you, checking every crevice. The look on his face is of disbelief and... curiosity?

"I'm amazed you are putting up this much of a fight... "

"Can I get dressed now? " you reply unamused.

Silence.

You look at his eyes. What game is he playing? Thoughts gave him away from his eyes, but no ounce of emotion from behind his mask.

"Please turn around for me." He says in a calm but firm voice.

You turn around as he instructs. Breathing heavy having him behind your back, you prepare for the worst, arms and legs at the ready years of training on you.

Silence.

Not even the rifle's strap sound, nothing.

He looks up and down your body as if studying it. For a moment, he stares in silence, letting his eyes take everything in.

Finally, he clears his throat. "Alright, I'm done here." He starts walking towards the door. "Once I've left, get dressed and don't try anything stupid."

"So what? What was this all for? Wanted to feel some power over me? That's why you had me take my uniform off?" You reply angry.

"Haven't seen a woman I presume"

You hit a nerve.

He was close to the door leaving. Smirking he wasn't the only one in power here.

He stops walking. This is the first time you've seen his expression change. He's... amused?

"You aren't scared of me?" He asks.

Normally, people are petrified. This is the first time someone's talked to him like this.

You turn and move towards him. He towers over you full gear on. You still in your under uniform garments.

"I'm scared of no one" you say directly looking in his eyes.

The tension in the air grows as your two bodies are now just inches apart.

He takes a small step forward, invading your personal space. He stares down at you, unblinking. You feel like you are caught in a trance, as if you cannot look away.

"You're not scared of me, hmm?"

"Never" you whisper to him.

He inches closer. Your lips are now only a few centimeters apart, his covered by his mask.

His eyes pierce into yours. He seems transfixed, almost like a predator watching its prey.

There is a slight smile on his lips. He speaks barely aloud in a teasing tone.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure"

You inch closer actually meaning what you're saying. As he angles his head closer you reply; "You should get going, they might be wondering where their leader went. Wouldn't want them to know you were with the enemy would you?" you say walking backwards away from him.

"Hmm... and what if I wanted to be with the enemy?" He steps toward you again, matching your walking pace but remaining only an inch or two behind you.

His lips curl into a devilish smirk and he tilts his head curiously to the side like he can't believe how brave you are.

You're shocked, yet not surprised that would be something he would say, however you remained stoic.

"Maybe the enemy doesn't want to be with you" you tantalize.

He pauses for a moment, still following behind you but not moving any closer.

His eyes are darting around your body, trying to take it all in. He speaks again in a voice that's somehow both playful and yet deadly.

"You're a bold one, aren't you?"

You start to dress back into your uniform, wanting to leave. Finally putting on your cargo pants you don't reply to him.

"Hey..."

He speaks, but at first his voice is so low that you ignore it.

"Hey!"

He tries again, yelling this time. He can't let you leave. And there's something else in his voice, a hint of desperation.

You heavily sigh wanting this game to end. Dressed, you walk towards him hitting his shoulder with yours making your way out of the building.

He grabs your wrist before you can walk further, spinning you around to face him.

For the first time, you see that deep down, he's not a monster. There is a hint of humanity and emotion in his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

Without replying you looked at his hand wrapped around your wrist then at him. Lets hear this you think.

He grips your wrist tighter, not hard enough to hurt but just enough to show you he's not letting go.

He stares back into your eyes, studying them, trying to read them.

"Why... are you so fearless?" he asks.

You frown at that. Remembering things that made you who you are today.

"Life" you reply.

For a moment, you see a flash of empathy in his eyes before he quickly masks it with his usual expression. "Right."

He pauses, then lets go of your wrist. He stares silently for another moment then finally breaks the silence. "You're different... "

"So are you" you say heading back to the outside world wanting this scene to end not knowing what actually happened between you two. Hand on the door handle you turn looking to wards him. "See you on the battlefield" you say opening the door.

He stays perfectly still, letting you walk outside first. You notice that he seems almost sad, like he's lost something.

You feel his eyes following you out. They are full of curiosity as if he's wondering if he'll ever see you again.

You are both very different people, but for some reason, you have this strange feeling that you are somehow connected to each other.

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mybelovedwoo · 1 year

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i'm glad i have you with me

bff!san x f!reader

fluff, comfort, childhood best friends to lovers (slow burn) / wc:1.3k

warnings: cheating, crying, swear words, cuddling

note: so tell me how you liked this one. i am a bit nervous because this is my first non-wooyoung fic, but i really enjoyed writing it. please stay tuned in the future for other members' fics too. if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3

san masterlist - main masterlist

Sitting on a couch at a house party all alone with people you don't know, there's literally any other place you would rather be. Originally you came with you're boyfriend Seungjun, but you haven't seen him in hours. You weren't much of a party person, but this time you accompanied him, because he begged you for days for it, but now you are starting to regret it honestly.

You take out your phone from your back pocket, but before you open it, you look around once more to see if your boyfriend pops up somewhere, you are out of luck, so after you unlocked it, the first thing you open is your messages. Your fingers linger over Seungjun's name, but it says he's been unavailable for hours, no shit Sherlock, you think. Instead, you scroll down a bit and open the messages for your best friend, San.

You know well that he probably not gonna answer, because it's Saturday night, and he is most definitely out with his friends too. You don't care, you try it anyway, he is your best chance to rescue you out of this hell. "Hey, San." is the first you send, you're not sure what to write him, you don't want to bother him. "What are you doing?" you wait a few minutes, but he's not responding, his phone is probably on mute. "I'm kinda bored, I don't know where Seungjun went. I need your rescue ㅠㅠ." Nothing, no response. You feel really annoyed at this point, but not because San, poor boy did nothing wrong, it is just a bad moment. "You know what I'm gonna look for Seungjun. Don't worry and have fun." You lock your phone and put it back in your back pocket.

You look around the kitchen, then in the yard, but you don't see him anywhere. You are getting kinda worried that maybe he left you there. At last, you walk up the stairs, the hallway is full of kissing couples, who must have only met tonight. The moment you enter one of the rooms, you regret everything you did until now. Your boyfriend was there with another girl you had never seen before, doing things you never expected him to do with anyone except for you.

You didn't know what to do in the big shock, but you didn't speak up, maybe they didn't even notice you or just didn't care. But you turned around and hurried down the stairs, unable to control your tears. You just needed some fresh air, you had to get out of this place immediately. You crashed out of the entrance of the house and fell down to the stairs. Sitting there you didn't even think, you were already calling San. This is urgent now.

Your phone didn't even ring for two seconds when they already answered it. "Hey Y/N, is everything okay? I'm sorry my phone was on mute I haven't seen your texts. Have you found Seungjun? Wait, are you crying?" You couldn't even speak, though you wanted to tell him everything. "Y/N please say something! What happened? Are you hurt?" You took three big breaths to calm yourself down enough to talk a few words. "He cheated on me. Could you come to pick me up?" You didn't have to say more. "I've already sat in the car the minute I saw your messages, don't worry. I'll be there soon."

He wasn't lying, he got there in record time. You watched as he pulled up with his car to the driveway of the house. When he gets out of the car, is only when you get up from the stairs you've been sitting on. San rushed towards you at a high speed, so you didn't have time to move even an inch in his way.

"Where is that dickhead?" He asked with blunt words when he got to you. He seemed really angry, maybe even angrier than you, you had never in your life seen him like this before. You shrugged, implying that you don't know and don't care either. But that was not enough for him. "Is he still inside there?" You started to get a little worried.

"I think so. But please don't make a scene, let's just go home." You pulled him through his forearm when he already started walking to the entrance. "Wait for me in the car, okay? I'll be quick, I'm not gonna do anything he doesn't deserve, I swear." He said to you, while he stroked your face with his right hand. You hesitated, but who are you to tell him what to do, so you went up to his car and sat on the passenger side for like five minutes.

At this point you didn't care much about waiting a little longer, that's what you did all night long. San slammed the door behind himself, and somehow he looked even angrier than before. He got in the car next to you and when he looked at you his expression softened. "What did you do?" You asked him with a sobby voice. "I just showed him where he belonged. Let's just say he went swimming." You look down at his hands and you see it's all bruised up.

He started the engine. "San, I don't wanna go home. What if he comes there?" You didn't know what to do, since he had a key to your apartment. You couldn't bare to see his face once more.

"We're going to my place." He didn't even hesitate. You slept at his place many times now, but not since you started dating Seungjun. San was worried when you found out you are going to different colleges, he was afraid that you wouldn't spend as much time together as you used to. But you thought that was nonsense since you have been best friends since you were very little, you grew up together.

He never liked Seungjun, he always said he didn't deserve you. But he was your first boyfriend, and you were blinded with love, at least that's what you thought. Looking back, you also know that he didn't treat you well, but you don't know that when you're in it.

Entering San's apartment, all you could think about was that you needed to get some sleep asap. Weariness hit you the moment you got hit by the heat of the comfortable room. You didn't want to bother San with your presence, you don't know what plans he had.

You've been quite comfortable in here, so you decided to lie down on the couch in the living room. "What are you doing?" Asked San, entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.

"Sleeping. I'm really tired." You mumbled, not able to speak properly.

"You can't sleep here. Go to my room, there is my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." You sat up at his statement. "No, you can't. This is your place." There's no way you letting him sleep out here in the cold living room when he has his own warm bed just a room away. "Let's sleep both in the bed. I think it's big enough for the both of us." You said. It's not like this is the first time you sleep in the same bed, you always fell asleep next to each other when you were little.

"Are you sure?" He hesitated. "We are not so small anymore." The joke made you both laugh, it made his heart clench to see you happy again.

After you took a warm shower, he gave you a big shirt of his and a jogger pant that was definitely too big for you. You got under the cover, San was already there, lying down. He turned off the lamp on the bedside table, which illuminated the whole room until now.

As soon as it got dark your eyes started watering again, you remember everything that happened today. All of a sudden, you feel a pair of hands slip on your waist. San hugged you tightly from behind. "I got you." He whispered in your ears. He didn't let go of you all night long, you woke up in the same position the next morning.

#san #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez imagine #choi san #san x reader #ateez san #ateez san fluff #childhood best friends to lovers #friends to lovers #slowburn romance #san x you #san comfort #bff san #san imagine #ateez fanfic

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shiningfremi · 6 months

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freminet headcanons + extra drabbles!

romance, personality, and tidbits!

- deep down, he always wanted to become a diving instructor. how could he keep the oceanic scenery and adventure to himself? but he believes his introverted behavior holds him back :*(

- when he becomes close to you, he will become a whole snuggle bug, and will ask to cuddle whenever you guys are alone together~!

- his room is super well decorated. a bunch of adorable stuffed animals on his bed, stunning photographs and posters on his wall, and why, penguin decor of course! he also has a plentiful amount of seashells and souvenirs from his explorations.

- freminet's love for cuddling applies to hugs as well. I already know he gives the best hugs there is! he holds you tight, and whenever you're sad and in need of comfort, he quietly listens and delicately rubs your back.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

you began to cry harder than you already were upon receiving freminet's touch.

"shh, shh.. I'm here, love. I'm here. i will stay here with you for however long you need." he promised you in a calming voice.

🌊𓆉🐚

- he gets startled quite easily. freminet is definitely not a fan when he is suddenly crept up on! lyney often surprises him in this way, being the magician he is.

- freminet has a habit of biting his nails. he even moves onto the skin.. poor thing. because of this, he lets you paint his nails at times to steer him away from the biting, and he tries his best as to not ruin the polish.

- he is very mechanically inclined. he will even make a toy just like pers for you, any animal you desire! he absolutely adores your reaction to his creations! it inspires him to keep on creating them. :)

- he absolutely LOVES sleepovers! the fun of doing skincare routines and face masks together, the glow in your eyes as he listens in on the stories you tell, and if you fall asleep first, he hums a gentle lullaby, only ever loud enough to be a whisper~

- freminet can get overwhelmed from crowds and excessive questions, and so he relies on you in certain social situations. he is also more of a sensitive person, and avoids unnecessary conflict. if you catch anyone saying something about freminet, even one negative aspect, you are on the front lines to defend him!

- his eyelashes are very long. and I mean, long. you always compliment him on how pretty they are, and when you first met him, you accidentally glanced at them for too long.. oops!

- this boy is super duper ticklish. if you even slightly brush your hand against his ticklish spots, he bursts out in laughter. you love seeing him so giggly, so you do it whenever possible! >:D

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"AHAHA!! stop, stop!" he'd roll around on the ground, making helpless attempts to run away.

"never~! your laugh is music to my ears!" you genuinely appreciated this rare break from his day to day personality.

"I- y/n- HAHAH!" freminet loved being with you, so perhaps he could allow it just this once.. goodness, how could you get him into this situation~? (≧∇≦)

🌊𓆉🐚

- he has never been caught swearing. ever. nor has he ever shown a great amount of anger towards anyone. oh no, he wouldn't dare. freminet prefers to get all of his emotions out underwater, where he cannot be heard..

- freminet is a great cook. like sir, everything you create is delicious! and of course, his favourite dishes to whip up would be some variety of seafood.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"y/n, which sauce do you think tastes better? or if you don't like them, please tell me.." he'd present to you a tiny spoonful of each, shyly inching forward.

after you take a sample of both of them, you gleefully express your opinion.

"I love them both! it would be delicious no matter what you make." you assure him.

🌊𓆉🐚

- he is very closed off. this goes back to how he feels about diving with others. he doesn't want to do a bad job, and is filled with the overwhelming fear of doing so. when you finally dive with him for the first time, he is like a completely different person. he effortlessly guides you through the depths of the sea, taking great attention to your status, your favorite sights and sea creatures, and freminet constantly checks up on you to make sure that you're comfortable.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"freminet.. you're fantastic at this! you would be an amazing guide for new divers. I loved experiencing this opportunity with you." you mention, whilst a huge smile is plastered on your face.

"a-ah, no no y/n, you flatter me. I'm much more useful as a surveyer.. there are plenty more skilled individuals out there. im really not much.." he'd sadly reply, his expression seeming awfully distant.

"i see. you may think that, freminet, but in my eyes.. you're very talented. I think you have more to offer than you may believe, so don't be so hard on yourself." you'd reply, your gaze softening.

freminet paused for a moment upon hearing your kind words. his lips formed a subtle crescent upward, and his cheeks were dusted in a deep blush.

"thank you, y/n. you have no idea how much your words truly mean to me."

🌊𓆉🐚

#freminet x reader #freminet #genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #freminet fluff #genshin headcanons #fontaine

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portaltothevoid · 7 months

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you're losing me part vi -- copia x reader

A/N: thank you for being patient with me! i A LOT of research when into this chapter. if i'm writing about infernals, i gotta do them justice. that being said...

songs: i hope you suffer by afi

warnings: dark magic (whatever you do, do not try this at home), hexing, demons, reacting/dealing with trauma, self-loathing, self-deprecation, angst, i translated the italian myself (shout out to wordreference.com)

word count: 6.5k

taglist: @bitchywitchygardener @copias-juicebox @da-rulah @deetz-ghuleh @fishwithtitz @ivycasket @water-ghoulette

All eyes were on you. You gulped at the discovery of your destiny and the confirmation of your vision. This was all real. It was actually happening. In one day you went from just an average person who wasn’t anything special, or so you thought, to practically becoming the next messiah of the Satanic Church. Your eyes glazed over as you stared off into nothing. Not even the eruption of everyone speaking at once diverted your attention.

Nihil was insisting on informing the other higher-up Clergy members, making Sister Imperator snap back with reasons why they shouldn’t even tell anyone outside of this room. Primo was muttering about herbs for rituals, which was where Secondo chimed in about how you would need to start preparations and how he now needed to research rituals for your ascension, if anything like that even existed. Terzo just leaned back against the wall with a smug look on his face as he watched the chaos unfold. Copia’s fists were balled at his sides as focused on calming himself down enough so he wouldn’t smack that look off Terzo’s face.

Eventually, the noise of the anxious, overlapping chattering and near arguments was enough to overload your senses as they escalated. You started to sway as you felt yourself get lightheaded. As you slightly dipped backwards, Swiss stepped forward to stabilize you by gently holding your elbows, and guiding you to take a step towards the door. You have to rest, he told you. You shut your eyes tightly, the lights suddenly too bright. It felt like you were walking through a dense fog as your legs were turning to jelly. You nodded as you leaned against him, needing support.

“Basta (Enough)!” Copia shouted sternly once he noticed your movements. “This is too much for her body to handle. Nothing needs to be decided right now. We will discuss everything when she regains her strength.”

You pressed your mouth into a smallest smile at his words. You reached for his arm, grabbing the fabric of his cassock as firmly as you could given your state. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Terzo begin to open his mouth. He whipped around and lunged for him, pressing his forearm against Terzo’s neck with his back against the wall. “Qualsiasi tu sia in procinto di dire, non farlo. Ha attraversato abbastanza a causa di ti (Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. She’s been through enough because of you),” Copia snarled, forcing his words through his clenched jaw.

Terzo managed to wiggle his arm free as Copia applied more pressure to his neck. He then made a motion like he was zipping his lips, raising his eyebrows twice. Copia gave him one more shove into the wall before he pushed himself off of him. As he turned back to you, he straightened his pellegrina.

You took a few shuffled steps before your knees buckled. Copia rushed to your side, arms awkwardly outstretched in an attempt to catch you. Swiss had a firm grip on you, keeping you upright. He swatted Copia’s hands away as he picked you up to carry you. You used what little strength you had left to wrap your arms around the ghoul’s neck. “’S okay, Copia, Swiss’s got me,” you whispered weakly, trying to lift your head up from his shoulder to look at Copia.

The ghoul with the white horns held the door open. Once you, Swiss, and Copia were in the hallway, he slammed it shut. Him and the other ghoul followed behind you. Thank you… you thought to all of them just before your head fell onto Swiss’ shoulder and you slipped into unconsciousness.

~~~

Copia was restless. Once you were safely tucked into bed, and he checked thrice that you were still breathing, he couldn’t stop wearing paths into the floors of his living quarters. Swiss watched him go back and forth, back and forth. The constant eyes on him didn’t ease his anxiety any less.

Abruptly he gathered his things. “I have to try to help… do, eh, some research or something,” he announced to the ghoul. “Send someone when she wakes up?”

Swiss nodded in response with one of his signature smiles and then swung his legs onto the couch, placing his arm behind his head. He grabbed the remote and began flipping through the channels on the tv.

“Sì, sì, certo, mettiti comodo (yeah, yeah, of course, make yourself at home),” Copia grumbled as he sent you a text for when you wake up.

Amore, if I’m not here when you wake up, I’m just doing research, figuring out how I can help you. Let me know as soon as you’re up, sì? ❤️🖤

He hit send and put his phone in his pocket. As he left his apartment, he jumped at the sudden movement of someone right outside his door. He made eye contact with the white horned ghoul who was standing watch outside the door. “Ah, mi dispiace, I, uh, didn’t expect you to be there… I’ll, eh, be back… uh, thank you?” he stumbled over his words as the ghoul returned to his stance with a single nod. His floor was swarming with ghouls. Aside from a Ghost ritual, he didn’t think he’d ever seen this many in one place outside of their own dormitory. At least he knew you’d be safe.

Inside of going to the library or his own office, he found himself knocking on Sister Imperator’s door.

“Come back later, please,” she called out on the other side of the door.

Copia gently opened it and stuck his head in. “It’s me, Seestor.”

The woman sighed heavily, waving him in with her hand. “How is she?”

“Still sleeping. I couldn’t… sit around and wait. I want to start researching or planning or…” he fretted as he sat down across from her.

“Cardinal. You said it yourself, there’s really nothing we can do right now.”

“But we have to– Should we start with Lilith herself? The history of her descendants? Rituals? Or possession? Is it even that?” his questions flew out of his mouth a mile a minute.

“Secondo has already exhausted any historical texts we have, that’s how little information there is. This really is… uncharted territory,” she said with distant eyes.

“Was there anything useful?”

“Mentions of a ritual for the ghouls to formally swear allegiance to her, nothing of the actual ritual itself. I’m afraid the texts that we need are in Rome. We can’t exactly ask for all these volumes without raising suspicion.”

Copia furrowed his brow in thought. The wheels were turning as something dawned on him. “Seestor, she has a connection to the ghouls. I don’t know how strong it is, but could we… Is there a way we could break their oath and get them to talk to us? They’ve got to know something about this…”

“I don’t know if they’d be willing to… but that would be a place to start researching, no? Maybe there’s something in the ghoul’s history?” Copia nodded and went to get up. “But, Cardinal, there’s really not much we can do until she wakes and we know what state she’s in. Even then, we have to wait for her visions to start.”

“Visions?”

“The one thing that was clear across the texts Secondo found was that with any awakening, with any strong connection to a deity… It’s almost like they become prophets. There was no other explanation to the knowledge than had other than it came straight from the mouth of Lucifer or whomever else had… Earthly matters to attend to. Perhaps that’s why there’s barely any information on this…” Imperator mused. “Nonetheless, we have to wait for her. But if she yells anyone about them, it’ll be you Cardinal.”

Copia nodded again as he let Imperator’s words sink in for a moment before he turned towards the door.

“Cardinal?” she called after him.

“Sì, Seestor?”

“As difficult as it may be, it might just be best to busy yourself with your regular work so you don’t get behind. Secondo is preparing a ghoul summoning ritual as we speak. If she really is the daughter of Lilith, she’ll need to know the ins and outs of it and summon one for herself. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. She needs someone. She needs you.” Her usual façade of steel had softened considerably. It was her way of attempting to console Copia. She knew how much he cared about you and she knew he would become obsessive with finding answers. She had to remind him of what was most important right now.

“Sì, I-I understand,” he said with a bow of his head before he scuttled to his own office.

Of course, he wasn’t going there to work on any of his actual duties. He had a small stockpile of books from when he first saw your mark of Lilith. Maybe there could be something of use if he simply looked up the Queen of Demons herself. In any case, he knew researching her and the lore that surrounds her were ways to show respect to her as a deity. No matter if he found anything for you or he didn’t, it wasn’t going to be wasted time.

Unfortunately, nothing of great use turned up. He decided that in the coming days he would set up an altar for her. If he had a dedicated space for her in his home, maybe it would make contact with her easier for you. Perhaps the answers you needed didn’t have to be found in literature, but from Lilith herself, inciting the visions that Imperator had mentioned.

Hours had passed by when he switched gears to researching the history of the Ministry’s ghouls, their summoning rituals, and the like. Eventually, the day caught up with him. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for what he thought was just a moment.

~~~

You had no idea how long you were out for. It took a few blinks of your eyes to get your bearings. The only thing you really knew was that it was nighttime. The only light coming from the glow of an iPad next to you. As you sat up you looked over to see Swiss sitting cross legged on the other side of the bed, frustratingly swiping away at something. Immediately upon feeling you stir, he went on alert.

You’re awake! Even his thoughts were full of concern.

“How long was I asleep?” you asked aloud.

I’d guess about fourteen hours, he thought, glancing at the clock on the night stand behind him. Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, I don’t feel weak or anything. I feel sort of… normal, you thought. Hey, is this the only way you can communicate with me or can you use your voice?

Well, ghouls take a vow of silence out of respect for Lucifer around the Clergy. But now that you’re ascending you can give us permission. We obey you first before anyone else now.

You nodded. “Okay, well, this telepathic shit is still weird for me. So I give permission to every ghoul to speak to me as long as I’m alone, unless I say otherwise.” Your tone was confident, you felt like a real leader. He flashed you his pearly whites while his tail swished happily. “You aren’t servants. You should be held equally to us. Having you here… it’s a gift. I’ll make sure everyone sees it that way.” You smiled warmly at him as you patted his knee. “Do I need to say that in my mind for everyone or…?

“Thank you, Your Eminence. You’ve always treated us like… humans. But no, just speaking it the way you did, everyone heard it loud and clear.”

“Good! And you’re welcome. I mean, you look fairly human. You know, minus the tail and the claws,” you shrugged.

Swiss let out a laugh. “On the mortal plane we have to blend in, so we take a human form. Only a few of our demon qualities remain just to show that we’re hell-sent. If we have to be around humans, like outside of the Ministry, we can retract our claws and hide our tails. Like when we help with Ghost.”

“And you all have your own… abilities? I’m sorry, my knowledge of ghouls really isn’t that in depth.”

He nodded excitedly. “We’ll teach you! And we’ll show you what we can do. So usually each ghoul corresponds with an element. There’s air, water, fire, earth, and quintessence.” He noticed your quizzical look, unsure of the last element he mentioned. “Quintessence is basically like… spirit, I guess? Those ghouls are really good at going between worlds, teleporting, that kind of stuff. It’s more energy based.”

“Oh, so they’re like the psychic ghouls?”

“Kinda! Then there’s multi-ghouls. That’s me. I can do a little bit of everything.” You slowly nodded and ran your hand through your hair. “This has gotta be a lot to take in, huh?”

“To say the least,” you sighed as you widened your eyes for a moment.

“We’ll have to do like… secret training sessions! We can teach you about your abilities.”

“So you can help me not go all black-eyed baddie when I get pissed off?” you chuckled.

“I think so? Well, I dunno about that, exactly. But we can show you other things you can probably do. I think being the Mother of All, your abilities are kind of like a multi-ghoul’s. Like me!”

“There’s gotta be a way I can control it…” you mumbled, looking at your fidgeting fingers in your lap.

“There is. It comes with time. It’s like when a ghoul is first summoned. Takes them a little to adjust to being here. You’ll see when you summon your ghoul.”

“When I what?”

“You’re gonna have to summon your own ghoul. There has to be one assigned to you and you alone. One that’ll be completely devoted to you. Like how Omega is…” Swiss cleared his throat, knowing that mentioning Terzo was a sore spot. “Well, you know… And I mean, we all are devoted to you, but this one will have a special connection to you. Like if you need help and you call out to any of us, that ghoul will always be the first one there.”

You could only stare at Swiss. He could tell by the way your eyes started to gloss over and became unfocused as you looked away from him. He scooted in front of you, taking both your hands in his. “We’ll help you. I’m sure The Infernals will help you too. You won’t have to do this alone.”

“Thank you,” you whispered as you leapt forward to engulf him in a hug. He squeezed you tightly and started to purr.

“Wait, where’s Copia?” you wondered when you returned to your sitting position.

“Oh he’s been in and out, waiting for you to wake up. He probably fell asleep in his office. He’s been trying to research things to help you. I don’t think he’s stopped worrying about you. I should go let him know you’re up.”

You sighed contently, ignoring the pang of guilt that lurked under the surface. You knew Copia was doing whatever he could for you. “Let me text him first,” you said as you reached for your phone. You didn’t even see the text from him when your lock screen came to life. Your eyes turned to slits as a scowl came over your face. Swiss could feel your demeanor change like static electricity before a lightning strike.

You tried to take deep breaths as you opened a text from Terzo.

Buonasera, la mia bella addormentata (good evening, my sleeping beauty). Just wanted to remind you that you left some things in my office. I expect to see you tomorrow to get them 😘

You could feel it, a spark in your chest that ignited and slowly was engulfing your body in flames. It almost felt so real, you had scanned your eyes over your body to make sure. That only made you aware that you were still in your dress from the summons, one that you now hated. You clawed at the zipper in the back and tore it off, leaving it in a crumpled ball on the floor. Swiss turned around immediately, giving you privacy while you changed. You just threw on a random pair of underwear, since you were just reminded where your other pair had ended up. Then you put on some black sweatpants and a random tank top, whatever your hand happened to touch first.

You grabbed a tote bag and opened the bottom drawer of your dresser. You dug around until you took out a wooden box with intricate carvings on it of pentagrams and sigils of protection. While you weren’t a “closet witch” these weren’t things you wanted to leave lying about or to broadcast to anyone you had them. Into the bag, you tossed in a container of graveyard dirt, a jar of rusty nails, a vial of black mustard seeds, a small bag of hemlock, and a vial of thorns you had collected for an occasion such as this. You pawed around in the drawer some more to grab a couple black candles, a black bowl, and your small black cast iron cauldron.

Swiss anxiously shifted his weight on his feet as you packed everything up. “Um… should I go and tell Copia you’re–” he started to say.

“No,” you growled gutturally. “There’s something I have to do first.”

You stormed into the kitchen. Flinging cabinets opened until you found vegetable oil, chili powder, and crushed red pepper. You turned on the stove, placing the cauldron over the low flame. The white horned ghoul hastily entered the room. Swiss had followed you to the kitchen. “Your Eminence, are you al–”

“Sodo, do I look alright to you?” you snapped. Your eyes turned black as you glared at him. The white horned ghoul, named Sodo, backed away from you, literally almost putting his tail between his legs.

“What are you–” Swiss started to ask, barely audible.

“I’m doing something I should have done a long time ago. Now, shut up and let me do it,” you snarled. Dutifully, the ghouls went and sat on the couch, but they never took their eyes off you.

You eyeballed about half a cup of oil and poured it into the cauldron. You tapped the glass vial filled with mustard seeds and they spilled into the oil. Next, you started to lightly sprinkle some hemlock out of the bag before shrugging and dumping almost half of it in. After a couple dashes of chili powder and a generous pinch of crushed red pepper, you counted six thorns from your vial and dropped them in one by one. To top off the mixture, you added a generous amount of graveyard dirt.

You gave everything a stir. Then you marched back into your room to grab a shoebox from the back corner of your closet. Inside were trinkets, photos, memories. You grabbed a polaroid of Terzo you had taken of him backstage on the last Ghost tour.

You slammed it on the counter when you reached the kitchen. Yanking open the refrigerator, you grabbed a lemon.

“This is quite the potent spell you’re concocting,” a smooth, unfamiliar voice said, making your insides jump. “I’d hate to be on the receiving end of it.” You shut the door and turned to see a man in a regal black suit leaning against the counter. Your eyes darted to the side to see if Swiss and Sodo had reacted yet, but they were perfectly still. “They can’t see me. Only you can.”

Your eyes scanned over his strong frame. His hair was wavy, jet black, and down to his shoulders. He had two ram-like horns jutting out from the top of his head. But his eyes… His eyes were the most intriguing thing about him. They were hypnotizing as they glowed a bright orange, flickering like a burning ember. When he held out his hand, you instantly kneeled and kissed it. “Belial was right, you are respectful,” he muttered to himself, almost in awe, still holding your hand. “I admire that... Do you know who I am?”

“No, I’m sorry,” you said softly, shaking your bowed head as you stood up.

He pulled you flush against him, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Hm, I don’t suppose you would,” he hummed. You didn’t dare to breathe. His eyes of wildfire bore into your blackened ones, into your soul. “I am King Asmodeus,” he breathed through barely parted lips as he released your hand to stroke your cheek. “You really are her daughter. You’re… exquisite.” Being this close to someone else, finding yourself in yet another precarious position, your whole body tensed.

“Thank… you…” you breathed as your tone had an edge of anxiety to it.

He inhaled a sharp breath and instantly let go of you, taking a step backward. “Forgive me. I was unaware of exactly what had brought upon your awakening. The miasma that surrounds you… Defilement. Guilt.” He paused before he smirked at you. “Wrath.”

You finally broke eye contact as you took a step back yourself. You toyed with the hem of your shirt, avoiding his piercing stare. He inspected your cauldron and ingredients you had strewn across the counter. “Is this your retaliation?”

“It’s either this or I kill him,” you deadpanned.

Asmodeus let out a genuine laugh. “We can’t have that. Not yet. I’m impressed with your work. Truly.”

Your eyes lifted to his again. “You are?”

“Sweetheart, vengeance is what I do. It’s what I teach. I could feel your wrath. It’s practically intoxicating.”

“I… Will I ever be able to control it?” you mumbled shyly.

“Of course. The ghouls take orders from The Infernal Court, like yours truly. We work through them and will appear ourselves when needed. Your truth isn’t something to fear.”

“I don’t fear what I feel. I–”

“I’m not here to talk about your fears,” he interrupted, his tone gentle yet stern. “Do you feel burning in your chest? In your center?” You nodded. “Good. Never lose sight of that. Wrath sparks the fire, but you have the power to control it. Add air if you need the grandeur. Take it away if you don’t. Add water, add earth to stifle it. Take a moment to focus. Feel it.”

You closed your eyes, breathing into the flames inside you. All you wanted to do was scream and tear everything around you asunder. Asmodeus felt what you were feeling and chuckled. “There. Now pull it back, center it. Breathe.” You pictured flames receding, like a film of the spreading of a wildfire in reverse. You imagined calm washing over you as if someone dumped a bucket of water over your head. Your breathing slowed. As you opened your eyes, the King of Hell before you saw the blackness fade. He beamed like a proud father. “See?”

Chewing on your lip, you nodded. You looked over the kitchen and saw the hex you had in progress. Your eyes scanned over the picture on the counter. You struck the match again and ignited the fire. As you looked back at Asmodeus, your eyes filled with darkness again. He tapped his knuckle twice on the counter. “Beautiful. I can’t wait to see this unfold.” He started to turn to walk out of the kitchen before he looked over his shoulder at you. “You might want to check your dark ingredient box again… I think you missed something.” He laughed darkly as he faded into a black mist.

“You okay in there?” Swiss called out, pulling you back into the present reality.

“Peachy,” you said as you went back to your box of baneful spell ingredients. Right on top was a bag of deadly nightshade. You’ve only ever seen that in Primo’s case of rare herbs. You smiled darkly before snatching it, grabbing a pair of tweezers from the bathroom, and returning to the kitchen. You delicately plucked three flowers and watched as they fell into the oil. As you stirred it again, you focused your intention for each ingredient, then murmured an incantation.

“May his plots and schemes

Be ruined by his confused mind.

May his impotence make him scream

And his lover's eyes for him turn blind.

Swiftly he suffers this plight

Feeling my pain as his own

This curse is his blight

As he suffers alone.”

You repeated this over and over staring into the cauldron while the hex oil sat over the flame. After about ten minutes, you took it off the heat to let it cool. You lit two black chime candles in front of you and were reminded of the fire that burned inside you. You snatched the photo of Terzo and held it tightly in your hands. As you stared at it, you repeated your spell three more times before you cut a slit in the center of the lemon. Thrice you folded the photo, making sure to fold it away from you, as you thought of nothing but him suffering just like you suffered. To further drive your point home, you hummed “I Hope You Suffer” by AFI to yourself as you placed the photo inside the lemon. A happily malevolent smile flitted across your face.

You fanned your blaze of wrath as you danced the rusty nails in your fingers. Every instance of hurt, of pain, of humiliation flickered through your memory. With each one, you held a nail in your palm, branding the energy of your detriments into it. The nails pierced through the rind and flesh of the lemon. Bits and pieces of your rage went with it into the fruit. It then went into a black bowl.

Satisfied with your handy work, you poured the oil out of the cauldron into a jar before you doused the lemon with it. Carefully, you placed it in a cupboard that barely saw any use. You left the lemon there to rot.

Your lungs expanded and deflated. Your eyes were gently shut. You sent a torrential downpour over your internal inferno. The wrath had retreated, replaced by a contentedness that, as of late, had almost become unfamiliar. When you opened your eyes, you felt like you did when you did before you stepped into Terzo’s office; you felt like yourself.

Silently, you began to pack away your magick supplies. When you emerged from your bedroom once more, you could feel the apprehension lingering in the air from the watchful ghouls. The soft caress of guilt swept over you when you remembered how you had snapped at them.

They hadn’t left their spots on the couch so you scooted yourself in between them, grabbing each of their hands in yours. Thank you for being here with me. Terzo told me I have to go to his office tomorrow. I– It set me off, you thought to both of them, fearing if you spoke aloud your emotions would betray you.

We understand, Sodo responded, giving your hand a squeeze. It’s a hell of a lot to adjust to.

How did– You controlled your wrath… Did someone visit you? Swiss tilted his head questioningly.

Yes…You nodded, curling your lips in. You let go of their hands so you could wring yours in your lap nervously.

Damn, the Infernals really do like you, Swiss tittered.

Wait, no one’s supposed to know. How did you know? Your eyes felt like they were going to bug out of your head from fear of disobeying your orders.

Ghoul thing. We could smell the sulfur. Depending on the visit, they leave traces of it. Since we report to them from time to time, it’s a way for us to know they were around, explained Sodo.

Your body deflated and relaxed as you let out a sigh of relief. Thank Lucifer. The last thing I need is to piss off Hell’s royalty. I don’t know how I would explain a sulfur smell to Copia… Shit, I should let him know I’m awake. Swiss, can you go get him? The ghoul nodded with a smile before he dashed off.

I’m gonna go back to guarding the door. Give you a minute before he gets here. Sodo told you. When he got up, he put a hand on your shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. You placed your hand on his.

“Thank you,” you said sincerely.

Once the door shut behind him, you got up to grab your phone from the bed. This time when you unlocked it, you completely ignored the text from your asshole ex and found one from Copia you neglected to see in your fury.

I’m awake. Barely know what day it is, but I feel okay. Sending Swiss to get you if you fell asleep. Miss you 🥺

After hitting send, you checked on Cannoli, making sure he had enough food and his water bottle was full. Then you ran out of things to distract yourself.

You plopped yourself back on the couch, head leaning against the back of it. Your eyes shut as you felt this gnawing in your gut. This feeling crept up on you, dancing on your skin like maggots on rotten flesh.

Terzo’s words replayed in your head: “You utter a single syllable of this to Copia and he’s gone.”

How could you look Copia in the eye after what you allowed to happen? You knew Terzo was manipulating you, dangling the threat of your love being sent away like a carrot in front of a donkey. Why didn’t that set you off? Why did your “awakening” (as everyone seems to call it) have to happen after the act? Now you have to lie to Copia. Lie about what happened. What the hell are you even going to tell him if he asked? Time was running out for you to think of something.

The weight of everything pressed down on you. You could feel the immense pressure on your chest. It wrapped around your head like hundreds of rubber bands.

With short gasping breaths you stumbled to the bathroom. The light stung your eyes. The sound of the faucet running seemed deafening. Even still, you felt the cold water on your hands, then your face. You let the droplets slide down, not bothering to wipe it off.. You gripped the sink like it was the only thing tethering you to this plane. Slowly, you brought your eyes to see what exactly was staring back at you. Whoever she was, you didn’t recognize her. Again, a shell of your former self.

That infuriated you. All of this. It was all because of him. You thought you could change him, you thought you had changed him. You thought you were good enough to make him yours. Only yours. If only you had given Copia a chance first. If only you weren’t swept off your feet by illustrious charm. If only you hadn’t been taken advantage of.

Your breaths started to come out in huffs. The longer you stared at your reflection, the more you could feel the fire burning inside of you, but this instance, it was fueled by self-loathing.

That was the first time you saw it. You saw the black fire ignite and consume your eyes. You watched as your reflection changed in real time. A gasp escaped your lips as you pushed yourself off the sink, scuttling backwards til you hit the wall. Rapidly, you shook your head and blinked as many times as you could while you sunk down to sit on the cold floor.

The flames died as tears began to fall. Your head fell into your hands that rested on your knees. A few sobs managed to escape, but that was all you would allow yourself. You covered up the cracks and breaks when you were still with Terzo. You could do it again. You could do it for this.

You could do it for Copia.

Aggressively, you wiped away your tears. You stood up to see your guarded self staring back at you. Shoulders back and head held high, you returned to the spot you had occupied on the couch. A façade of confidence wasn’t one you could uphold for long. Eyes closed, you just focused on breathing, in and out, until you heard the door open.

“Amore?!” You heard amongst the sound of frantic footsteps.

Without thinking, you bolted up, letting your feet carry you until you crashed into his arms. He held you there, one hand holding your head against his chest, the other securely around your waist. Your eyes squeezed shut as you fought back another wave of tears. After a few moments, he gently nudged you a half-step back, so he could take a look at you. Your shakey intake of breath, betraying your desired stoicism.

He ran his hands up your arms until he lightly gripped your shoulders, mismatched eyes assessing every inch of you. You bit the inside of your cheek, desperately trying to keep your composure. Moving his hands to cup your face, he redirected your gaze to his. He stepped forward, closing any remaining space between the two of you. His mouth dropped open like he was about to say something, but the words were lost. His eyes never stopped searching yours.

“I’m okay,” you said reassuringly, moving your hands up to hold his wrists. He could only pull you into another embrace, still at a loss for words. You wrapped your arms around his waist, giving him a squeeze, before you wriggled out of his hold. “Come on,” you said, pulling him by the hand, “we have a lot to talk about…”

“I don’t… I don’t even know where to begin,” he said as he took a seat next to you on the couch.

“Did you know? Did you know any of this was a… was a possibility?” You were too drained to beat around the bush.

“Sì… eh, well, no. I mean, I only… It was only when I saw your birthmark that I suspected…”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you practically pleaded.

“I never thought anything would come of it so soon. We wanted to be certain before we–”

“I’m sorry, ‘we’?” you asked with an edge of irritation.

“Ah, shit…” he muttered before sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Seestor Imperator. I might have, eh, mentioned it to her…” You could feel the heat rising in you. “Only to see if there was any truth behind it. Really, it’s only ever been like a myth to us. Like… like how the– the Antichrist is to the others.”

You leaned forward, putting your elbows on your knees as you held your head in your hands. Breathe in. Breathe out. You didn’t need to get angry over this. “I don’t want to be the last to know anymore. I can’t.”

“No, no, you won’t be. Primo and Secondo are looking into the next steps. It– It’s going to take some time.”

You wanted to tell him everything you learned from Swiss, but was it time? Could you even trust him? Should you go about this all in secrecy?

Copia’s words pulled you from your internal debate. “You’ll have to summon a ghoul. That’s the ritual Secondo is, eh, preparing.”

You let out a sigh of relief, but Copia interpreted it as dread. “And that takes a while to prepare?”

“We’ll probably be ready in a couple of weeks. You’ll have to practice, so nothing goes wrong.”

A brusque laugh slipped. As if any of Hell’s deities would allow anything to go wrong. They’re the ones who needed things to go smoothly more than any person in this whole abbey. You couldn’t tell him that, though.

“As far as rituals go, you’ll do great. I know it,” he smiled warmly at you, reaching out for you, but the way you abruptly snapped your head to almost glare at him caused his hand to recoil.

“Why? Because I’m the special chosen one now?” you scoffed.

“Che (what)? No… I’ve seen you work magics and rituals of your own, dolcezza. You– You have a talent.” There was something different in the way you were acting. He knew to tread lightly. He cleared his throat. “Speaking of… I think we should set up an altar for Lilith here. Maybe it’ll help you with your… comunicazione with her.” You only nodded, your eyes showed how your mind was someplace else. “Seestor did mention something about visions.”

“What about visions?” you barked, asking almost too quickly.

“There aren't many texts here with information about ascensions of any kind, but there was a common thread of people, such as yourself, having a strong connection with a deity. It’s as if… Well, I think you’ll act as their vessel to help with, eh, whatever they need done here…” You leaned back with a huff as you crossed your arms. Copia’s brows furrowed. Worry creased his face. The last thing he wanted to do right now was upset you further or overwhelm you. “We don’t have to talk about this tonight, amore.”

“Good,” you mumbled. Because I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up… you thought to yourself. “I’m… uh… I’m getting tired again anyway.”

“Then we go to bed, sì?”

You nodded and got up to brush your teeth, avoiding eye contact with your reflection the whole time. Then you crawled into bed and waited for Copia to follow suit. When he did, he wrapped his arms around you. You could only hope he didn’t notice how your body went rigid at his touch, which was something you felt like you didn’t deserve.

“Stellina?” he asked, his voice showcasing his nerves as his pitch went up slightly.

“Hm?”

“I just… Eh, well, I want you to–” he sighed, frustrated by his fear he wouldn’t be able to articulate what he was feeling the right way. “I know I’m nothing special, but I will always protect you. I’m here for you. Always. You’re safe with me. Do not ever forget that, okie dokie?”

You placed your hand over his that was draped over you, holding it tightly, but you didn’t dare turn to face him. “You are special, cocco (sweetie/your short and sweet play on his name). Sei il mio tutto (you’re my everything).”

He pulled you closer to him as he kissed your head. “Ti amo (I love you).”

You swallowed hard, hoping to swallow the guilt that was bubbling up inside you. “Ti amo anche (I love you too).”

Copia’s breathing soon relaxed as he fell asleep. Sleep wasn’t coming for you anytime soon. There was no way to cease your racing thoughts no matter how hard you tried. You could only lay there, pressing down on your lips that curled around your teeth, as tears silently fell.

part v | part vii

#the band ghost #the band ghost fanfiction #ghost the band #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia angst #cardinal copia x female reader #cardinal copia fanfiction #copia #ghost band #terzo fanfiction #terzo #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus terzo #terzo angst #papa terzo #you’re losing me

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nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx · 21 days

Text

Helpless part 38, devil's roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

Nico turned for the hundredth time, he checked the clock, 01:53am. He still hadn't been able to get to sleep, he stared out the window until he noticed a figure standing outside the infirmary. The doors weren't locked, he wasn't sure why but he walked outside trying to see who would be standing outside side the infirmary, by the look of it smoking at almost two in the morning. As he edged closer, still remaining perfectly silent he realised it was Will, he crept up behind him, not believing his eyes. As he got closer he realised he was crying, he sank to the floor as he brought the cigarette back to his lips, breathing the smoke in and out.

"Will, are you okay?" He said sitting down next to him,

"Neeks? What are you doing out here?"

"Couldn't sleep, saw someone outside. Will what happened?" Nico said, grasping his hand,

"Lost a patient today, she was barely seven. Isla Brown, I thought she was doing better, she said she was feeling fine, everything seemed normal, we were doing hourly check ups, she was fine at seven, then we walked in at eight and she had no pulse, she never said anything about being in pain, and we tried to bring her back but it- it didn't work. We never even found out her godly parent, I think she was an Athena kid though, she was crazy smart especially for her age."

"I'm so sorry."

"I should have been able to save her."

"You can't prevent every death, it's part of how the world work."

"But she was so young."

"I know, the world in cruel that way."

"It's my fault, I should have noticed I-"

"Noticed what? Something you still can't figure out?"

"I should have run extra tests I-"

"William. It isn't your fault, there was nothing you could do. She's happy, she's in Elysium, I can sense it, and she doesn't blame you."

"But-"

"Shh, you said you could glow in the dark, can you show me?" A faint light started to appears from around him, growing brighter quickly.

"I can go brighter but I don't want to get anyones attention."

"That's so cool, why don't you show it off more?"

"I have the most boring powers, what's glowing in comparison to having perfect aim with a bow."

"Anyone with enough practice can learn to shoot a bow and arrow, don't think anyone can just try and suddenly glow in the dark." Will half smiled

"I guess." Nico glanced down, the light had revealed a scar on his forearm, he didn't want to panic but as he slowly turning his arm around more and more scars and cuts revealed themselves, most didn't look that old and they all looked very much self inflicted. How the Hades had he not noticed before? He thought back to every time he'd seen Will, he was always wearing a hoodie or some other sort of long sleeves. Fuck, he started to panic but managed to keep his expression calm, he knew he needed to say something but what the fuck was he going to say?

"I guess you think I'm a hypocrite now?"

"What?"

"Telling you to quit drugs and smoking yet here I am."

"Why haven't you gotten help?" Nico asked, being careful around the subject, he wasn't exactly sure how Will would react and was trying desperately to not make him mad.

"I'm not worth it, even if I was I don't have the time for it."

"Wil-"

"I've never been on a quest and I can't fight to save my life, I'm not worth helping."

"Without you all of camp would be dead."

"Clearly I'm not doing too good of a job, I've lost so many patients, more than Michael ever did."

"Two wars have happened, obviously more people are going to die after a war."

"He would ha-"

"No. No he couldn't, Will sometimes people die no matter what you do. If the fates decide it you can't save them, sometimes people are too close to death and no matter what you do you can't save them." He pulled him closer, pressing his lips to the taller boy's. "Everyone's worth saving Will, you told me that, so apply it to yourself." Nico ran his finger over Will's cuts, "And please, please tell me if you ever want to hurt yourself again. William, you're one of the nicest people I know, you care for people even if you know nothing about them, I've never even seen you get mad at someone, everyone would miss you."

"You haven't seen every part of me, you don't know how many people I've hurt. I hate myself."

"Will, you can't be perfect. Nobody's perfect, everyone has different sides. You're only human."

"But I hurt them, I was trying to hurt them and I did."

"What are you even talking about?" He said, pulling the cigarette out of his boyfriend's hand and taking a breath before getting rid of it, he knew he wasn't meant to but he needed it.

"When I first came out, people started to say stuff, it made me hate myself but I wouldn't fight them. That- that was until one time a group of Demeter kids were beating the living shit out of Kayla for being les so I... I sort of fought them... I broke a few jaws and arms until Annabeth stopped me. I don't regret it but- I shouldn't have hurt them, I'm a fucking healer I'm not meant to fucking hurt people."

"You did the right thing."

"I should have called it down, not made it worse."

"You stood up for your sister, that's nothing to feel bad for."

"I still shouldn't have hurt them."

"I would have killed them, you're did a lot better than I would have."

"I'm a fucking healer, and that wasn't the only time."

"You're a person, you're whole life isn't your power, you are a living, breathing, human being who sometimes does things that aren't perfect. I don't know who told you otherwise, tell me who hurt you, and let me make life hell for them."

"Don't do that, they don't deserve it."

"Look me straight in the face and tell me you wouldn't do the same if someone was in your position."

"I- but- they-"

"Will, you deserve to be happy just as much as everyone else, I don't know why you don't believe that."

"My own blood doesn't want me."

"What would you say if Leo said that?"

"But that's different, he's brave and smart and a genuinely amazing person. He's fought and his life's been hard, he's had to work so hard for everything."

"Apply that to yourself."

"I'm worthless, no one fucking wants me, not just my family."

"I want you. Will I want you and I love you no matter how much you hate yourself I will always love you."

"You'll get tired of me soon enough, they always do."

"I swear I won't, I swear on the river of Styx I will never stop loving you William."

"Why would yo-" His sentence was interrupted by a kiss, Nico wrapped his hands around his neck, Will smelt like smoke and strawberries, he was warm even in the cold night. He wiped a tear from his eyes,

"Just being honest, come on Sunshine." He whispered, pulling him up, they walked with each other inside the infirmary.

"Will, can you stay?"

"Course Neeks." He started to walk towards the chair

"Sleep, you need it." Will wanted to protest but his tiredness got the better of him so he slipped inside the bed next the the raven haired boy, kissing him on the forehead before they both fell asleep.

***

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sillysadduck · 2 years

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Hey, I have seen your trio headcanons and I loved it ajdghdghgd

Do you have any others ? I'm in a dhmis brainrot right now, I need to be feed

WOOHOO

I HAVE SO MANY NOW THAT WE HAVE NEW CONTENT

just a warning this may have some red x duck vibes since that makes people mad now🤭 but my entire blog is fluffybird so its expected from me, sorry

HERE GOES:

-they're all going crazy but surprisingly enough red is the only one that loses his shit OUT LOUD on a daily basis and doesn't try to hide it

-ALREADY SAID THIS BUT THEY ARE THE AUTISM SPECTRUM! And yellow has adhd I'll die on this hill thank u

-red will call himself the father figure and then do shit like forget he left yellow outside in the rain and locked the door

-This happens often

-no one is surprised

-duck thinks and says he is a better father figure for yellow

-He's not

-they're trying okay but they're not made for parenting they suck at it

-when duck and red are doing their cheesy couple shit giggling blushing etc (rare occasion when theyre not insulting each other) and cuddling in bed yellow gets upset at them being all sappy in front of him🙄 so he gets on bed with them, that way he gets attention too

-On a softer note sometimes he gets scared at night and they get on his bed with him too so he calms down

-I personally dont think they have actual "ages" buuut I did say in my previous post for me yellow is somewhere between 4 and 8 :) duck may be somewhere around early 30s and red late 20s but that mostly applies when I draw them as humans!

-and before anyone comes at me for yellow to tell me "oh no hes 38" because of the pilot... he turned 48 the same day in that pilot it literally makes no sense he has no canon age🙌🏻

-red and duck argue over small stuff like doing the dishes or cooking all the time but yellow learned thats their love language they're not actually mad at each other,, they're just weird as fuck but whatever floats their boat

-red and duck complain about having to take care of yellow all the time but they can't live without him and will do everything for him, they're just big fans of complaining

-red is SLIGHTLY more patient than duck but only when it comes to yellow, he snaps at anyone else,, specially at roy

-they are a family, and theyll find a way to solve all their problems together in the end even if they go at each other throats occasionally ok ☹☹

#dhmis #dhmis headcanons #don't hug me i'm scared #red guy #yellow guy #duck dhmis #red guy dhmis #yellow guy dhmis #if anyone tries to start a fight with me over these silly headcanons they legally owe me 20 dollars just a warning #fluffybird #fluffybird dhmis #dhmis fluffybird #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck #found family hours #I hope I dont get hate for this

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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This might be a somewhat controversial opinion/rant, but as a black queer woman (i really id myself as being more genderqueer, but since i'm afab there are just things about womanhood growing up that has just stuck with me as formative experiences.), I find it really difficult to build community with queer men, even in fandom. I've tried to have friendships with transmen, but so many just feel the need to ramp up misogyny to 1000 to validate themselves as men, and then with gay men, some will say the most out-of-pocket, misogynistic things but because they're not attracted to women, it's somehow okay, I guess. But lately, there's been this trend among queer men of saying and doing misogynistic things but justifying it by stating they're talking about white, cishet women. But the thing is, there's nothing in what they said that can be specifically applied to only white women. It's a target to all women (I refuse to play the oppression olympics of who has it worse). And now I see other queer women in fandom saying the same things to each other. I typically stay in anime/manga and danmei fanbases because that's where a lot of my interests are now, and I don't have to deal with USAian nonsense as much. But now that 7 Seas has unfortunately decided to translate more danmei into English that's changed. A queer male fan of a popular series has been unfollowed en masse by danmei fans for saying wildly misogynistic things about the author. Everyone all week has been scrambling to figure out where this came from. "He only ever said these things about cishet white women," but you guys... he was always talking about us the whole time. Now, I just don't know. Now I see why men aren't generally welcomed in or are common within romance-genre circles. It's just really frustrating to see the same thing over and over again. I'll add on that the only genuinely cool queer men in fandom I've met have come from yuri circles. The ones who try to talk about BL are, from my experiences, generally misogynistic, toxic, and feel as though everything should center around them because they're men and in BL the characters are men, as well. But when other women don't want to form community with them, they scream about 'homophobia' and 'fetishizing gay men.' No, you're just an annoying, awful person to be around, and the queer male yuri fans didn't want to deal with you either. Has anyone else, or you specifically, dealt with this? Is there a way to become friends with more queer men in BL spaces who aren't... like That? Or are there specific things/patterns to look for as far as who to avoid?

God, so much of this sounds so familiar.

I've known a sad number of trans dudes who overcompensate in dickhead ways. A lot of them do calm down a few years into presenting publicly as male, but it's infuriating to see that crap even if it's temporary.

I will say that two of my close circle of offline friends are trans men, including one who came out during the time we've all been friends. The defensive tomfoolery is in no way inevitable. Both of these dudes are nonwhite and have experience in various other geeky and queer spaces beyond BL (gaming, drag queens, etc.). Maybe that broader perspective helped, or maybe they're just nicer and more mature people than a lot of the little jerkfaces I run across online.

TBH, I often have better luck in offline meetups because to show up at all, people have to be a little more comfortable with getting along with others and behaving themselves. It's also sometimes easier to detect the people you want to back away from slowly when you can see how they treat people in person.

One of my neighbors is a cis gay guy. White, able bodied, middle class, yadda yadda. Exactly the demographic you'd expect to be the worst in certain spaces. He and his partner have lots of queer friends, and plenty of them aren't fellow cis gay guys, which is basically my litmus test for non-annoying cis gay guys offline. (Toxic cis gay dude culture is its own kettle of fish with a different set of issues than defensive trans boy culture, but I've encountered it plenty too.)

This neighbor is interested in geikomi and was delighted to find out I'm a fellow nerd and eager for all my nonfiction book recs about queer Japanese stuff. We don't necessarily overlap in our manga tastes, but there's still a lot we do share. When I ramble on about how AFAB queer people and/or bisexuals study history that's presented as cis gay men's history because that's all we have for most historical periods, he's like "Yeah, that makes total sense!" and not "Mine and not yours!"

I think the key here is that this is a dude who is secure in his identity, who's getting both his media and queer community needs met, and who's in his 40s, so he has some god damn perspective and doesn't need to pretend BL is aimed at him.

A lot of the little jerkfaces make me think "Did your preschool teacher not teach you how to share your toys?"

To be honest, there seem to be plenty of dudes hanging around my tumblr. A few cis. Many trans. But they're not going to bring it up incessantly in some defensive "you know I'm not a cootie-having girl, right?" way because who does that?

It comes up when there's a discussion about trans shit or BL as #ownvoices or whatever. (And, in general, any dude worth hanging out with will not think BL as an industry is, or should be, anything of the sort—even if he's expressing his own sense of queerness by writing some.)

On the flipside, I have seen some pretty extreme "no boys allowed" clubhouse nonsense in fandom. It's less common than it was, and past shitty dudes have often been the inspiration, but it can still be a bit much. The nicer class of fandom dude is often pretty hesitant in certain spaces because he's expecting to be met with hostility and is trying to figure out how to participate without tromping all over everyone. (TBH, the guys worrying about this are rarely the problem, but you know how it is.)

I've had dudes send me private messages being like "this thing you said seems kind of stereotypical and anti-man", but in the adult capable of conversation way, not in the tantruming 5-year-old way. And we had a conversation, and they stuck around.

I think having a very clear "It's not #ownvoices, fuck off" stance deters a lot of the more pestilential set. Being equally clear that everyone is welcome and that male yuri fans and female BL fans are pretty equivalent makes the guys worth knowing come out of the woodwork.

In 99% of spaces, I do not give a fuck if some man has his precious feelings hurt by a double standard or default suspicion of men... But fandom is a little unusual because of the demographics and relative power here being so different from in most spaces.

I've definitely seen some people who think women liking BL are fine because we care about characters' personalities, while male fans are all predators or all write f/f that is just fetishy porn or m/m that sounds like Nifty.org and not other fanfic or whatever.

And, yeah, I'll shut down the dumbasses crying in my inbox because I made a joke about Nifty and "coke can dicks" (the kind of guys who have clearly never read m/m that's aimed at dudes outside of fandom spaces), but at the same time, we should extend a little benefit of the doubt to our fellow fandom members of whatever gender. There are usually plenty of men facepalming right along with me at these inexperienced young fools who cannot bear to share.

I think you're just running into the problem that the loud people whose identities you know are often using those identities to browbeat other fans on social media.

There are fewer men in BL spaces than women or nonbinary people, so one will typically end up knowing fewer men.

Honestly, I think you find the reasonable people and get rid of the unreasonable ones in the same way regardless of gender: Gatekeeping bullshit is a red flag. Very Online understandings of oppression are a red flag. Enthusiastic and clueless blanket endorsement of own voices as a concept is a red flag. Lots of talking about "fetishization" or even "appropriation" in a very online way is a massive red flag. Monetizing fanfic or seeing other pro authors as competition instead of peers is another. (Professional jealousy and fear about earning potential are behind a lot of bad behavior.)

A lot of it is down to whether you're willing to make yourself a target by publicly telling annoying people to fuck off.

If others can tell what you stand for, they can figure out if they want to hang out with you. Most people keep their heads down a lot of the time, so it can be hard to even hear of them, let alone know if they're your sort of person.

tl;dr – Be nice to nice men. Tell shitty men to take a hike. Making friends with men is really as simple as that.

There are larger issues here with what kinds of queer spaces exist and whom they prioritize and with toxic understandings of what representation even means and what should be demanded of whose art. But as you say, a lot of women are also promoting toxic-ass understandings of these things.

The bottom line is that we must resist social media clout-driven understandings of justice. The loudest assholes in the room are rarely worth listening to.

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 1 year

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(Genshin Impact/ToCS) Shenhe, Beidou, Kokomi, Sara, Sharon, and Duvalie's S/O who speaks in opposites

No one requested this but I'M BRINGING IT BACK FOR PART 3 BAYBEEEEEE

And for anyone who doesn't get this, reader speaks like this when they mean something very nice:

Shenhe thinks her S/O was trying to pick a fight the very first time they spoke.

But upon realizing how panicked they were saying how hideous she looked, Shenhe thought something was up.

After giving them a bit more time to speak, she realizes that they're speaking in opposites.

Which is even more confusing to her.

Was this normal? She had been gone from human civilization for a while.

In some strange way, it helps her understand conversations a bit more speaking with S/O, because she has to pay attention to their facial expressions, not their words.

(Shenhe) "Is everything alright?"

(S/O) "Everything's going just great!"

(Shenhe) "Ah...A bad day, then. If you need to talk about it, I am here."

She will not question the way it helps, only that it helps her, and she's able to help her S/O in return.

Beidou's about ready to glass her S/O when S/O first spoke to her.

Being drunk did not make the translations any easier.

She squints her eye as she reads their facial expressions as they're casually saying the rudest things to her.

(Beidou) "...You uh...drink too much there, bud?"

After getting to know them, she can't help but stick around when she can. She definitely tells Ningguang about the case of the opposite speaking man/woman.

At first she thinks it's some kind of curse before learning they speak in opposites for the most mundane reason.

They didn't have the heart to tell their sibling their birthday present was atrocious, and then it just got out of hand.

Beidou laughed at that fact for a solid five minutes.

But Beidou quickly grows accustomed to how they speak.

(Beidou) "Miss me while I was out on sea?'

(S/O) "Of course I didn't, I'm disappointed you didn't crash and drown out there!"

(Beidou) snrrk! "Ha! Love you too, babe."

When S/O approached her and the other shrine maidens and immediately spouted out insults in a calm manner, Kokomi blinks in confusion.

(Kokomi) "Er...what?"

When they repeat the insult, with a more panicked expression, she figures it out.

(Kokomi) "Oh dear...is this a curse?"

Kokomi is determined to get to the bottom of this and wants to help them out.

...Before realizing that they weren't cursed, they just have a weird mechanism for lying.

Kokomi doesn't particularly mind, though admittedly it does take some energy to translate what they mean sometimes.

And when they call her the ugliest woman they've ever seen, it adds a week's worth of energy to her.

...As strange as that sounds.

(Kokomi) "+100 energy for S/O calling me ugly...Wait a minute."

Sara is highly unamused by S/O's thanks by calling her a ruthless woman.

(Sara) "Watch your tongue! Do you know who you're speaking to?"

S/O got down on their knees to apologize as the insults sprung out more.

(Sara) "...What?"

She's extremely confused as their expression showed they were sorry and panicking, but the words coming out of their mouth indicated otherwise.

Weirdly enough, it was Itto who managed to translate for them, making her even more confused.

Despite the harsh words used on her, and applying the backwards logic to their speaking, they held a lot of affection for her.

Which she didn't know how to feel.

It's kind of hard to have a heart flutter getting called the meanest, most hideous woman of all of Inazuma.

(S/O) "I'll be sure to burn this necklace in a ritualistic fire, Sara!"

(Sara) "...G-Glad to hear it."

Sara and Itto spend some time together to get S/O to say what they mean, lest they say the wrong thing around the wrong people and get into jail.

(Sharon) "...Oh my."

Sharon figures it out right away that S/O is speaking in opposites.

Her sadistic side can't help but play around them, acting offended, though it's obvious she's joking.

Her tone of voice is enough to make them stiffen in fear before she lets out a small giggle.

(Sharon) "Worry not, I understand what you mean. Though, is there any particular reason you speak like that?"

Honestly, Sharon was expecting something a bit more dramatic than a lie spiraling out of control.

But she makes sure that secret never gets out to anyone, and doesn't hesitate to drop in to translate for them.

(S/O) "You look ugly today, Sharon."

(Sharon) "Ah, thank you, you look quite hideous yourself."

(S/O) "S-Sharon!"

(Sharon) "Hah! My apologies, I couldn't resist. Thank you, dear."

(Duvalie) "SAY THAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU!"

Duvalie is about to deck S/O for talking mad shit. And the fact they actually had the gall to repeat themselves!

...Why do they look so nervous?

(Duvalie) "WHAT, LOST-...Your...Nerve?"

She takes a step back and closely watches their body language as they let out even more insults, sweating pinballs.

(Duvalie) "Uh...Are you alright?"

She has no idea why they speak like that, but quickly grows used to it.

Once she realizes what they actually mean, she grows pretty indifferent about it. At least until she thinks about it.

(Duvalie) "...Did you just call me ugly?"

(S/O) "I did, you're absolutely revolting to look at, like a coward in rusty armor."

(Duvalie) "..."

Duvalie doesn't know if she should be blushing or punching them right now.

(Duvalie) "Grr...JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, DAMN IT!"

(S/O) "That's a bit rich, coming from you."

Now her eye was twitching. Option B was looking a bit more appealing now.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #trails of cold steel imagines #trails of cold steel headcanons #trails of cold steel x reader #shenhe x reader #beidou x reader #kokomi x reader #kujou sara x reader #sharon kreuger x reader #duvalie x reader #shenhe genshin impact #beidou genshin impact #kokomi sangonomiya #kujou sara #sharon kreuger #duvalie

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crownmemes · 7 months

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Touching Evil (UK) Sentences

(Sentences from Touching Evil (1997-1999). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"You're scaring a lot of people. You want to just calm down?"

"Oh, I know about you. I've checked you out!"

"Are you refusing to cooperate?"

"Why am I letting you do this to me?"

"What is your type? For the record."

"If you have an allergy to psychologists, I suggest you get that looked at."

"I don't like the people you're working with."

"Am I the only one with reservations about this suspect?"

"If you could prove anything, you wouldn't be here."

"What do you spend your money on?"

"I'm sorry it's so late. I didn't know where else to go."

"I think you just need to get laid."

"To my knowledge, I've never done anything to anyone!"

"The guy that we're after knows what it's like to have died and be dragged back."

"So, how's your cooking?"

"You don't fit in. You don't fit anywhere that's normal."

"I did it for you. I killed him to make you safe."

"People living in boxes end up with a lot of sharp corners."

"If you let me down, I'll kick your arse from here to kingdom come."

"Apologies for dragging you from your bed, but this is a matter of some urgency."

"I think I've lost the ability to sleep."

"I don't have enough respect for you to be scared."

"Human logic doesn't apply to me."

"You can lock me up, you can even kill me, but you can never stop me."

"They don't have words for how I feel."

"You spend so much effort shutting down your feelings that you forget how to start them up again."

"You want to go to Heaven? Then get another job."

"You don't have to lie. Not to me. I understand."

"You've got a choice. You can spend the rest of your life trying to make up for one mistake, or you can live with it and do your job. You can't do both."

"Whatever they told you, it's not true."

"I did do the right thing, didn't I?"

"If I could take the slightest bit of your pain away, I would."

"How could you possibly understand what it's like to lose everything that you've ever loved?"

"I'm sorry, I can't trust your judgement right now."

"I've got three separate medical reports that all state you're physically and mentally unfit to work."

"When you're in contact with something evil, the people closest to you are going to find that difficult."

"If I wanted to harm somebody, I'd do something to someone they care for."

"Look, I know there's a thin line between genius and madness, but do we have to show everyone which side we're on?"

"People keep telling me it wasn't my fault. I know they're just saying it to shut me up."

"Don't lurk. I hate it when you lurk."

"Insomnia is commonly thought to be a feature of a disturbed mind. I think you should go home, go to bed, and at least pretend to be a normal person."

"No one understands because you won't let anyone understand!"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific;#crime drama;#filmtv;#touching evil UK;

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cherrygummycandy · 1 year

Text

Fragile Porcelain Person

Fandom: Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart.

Yandere!Joe x Porcelain!Reader, Platonic!Jack and Acacia x Porcelain!Reader

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(AN: So, for those who don't know, Jack and The Cuckoo Clock Heart is a film about a (14?) something french boy born with a frozen heart, so it is replaced by his adoptive mother with a clock. He isn't allowed to fall in love, as it will be too much for his heart, but he does anyway, and loves a singer. There's another plot with this rival for the singer's love, but that is the jist. It's spoilers from here on out in this AN, so go watch it on Bibibli if you haven't seen it. For the sake of this fic, I have changed Joe and Acacia's relationship to one of a brother and sister relationship, in which he wanted to protect her from mingling to closely with anyone due to her parents migrant status, and his fear of her getting deported. As for Jack and Madeline, I'm writing them as living at the end of the film, where this fic takes place. Sorry for the long explanation, just wanted to clarify some things!)

⏰💜⏰💜⏰💜⏰💜⏰💜⏰💜⏰💜⏰💜

Tick-tock, Tick-tock, Brrr-ing Brrr-ing! The lively ticks and rings of gears, clocks, bells and chimes sound out across the workshop of the notably eclectic Mademoiselle Madeline, who is currently busying herself at her work station. She hums to herself, placing a small gear against a winding mechanism, and stepping back to watch a small wooden bird pop out of the top window of a clock, perfectly tweeting in rhythm with the now-turning gear. A sound not entirely foreign to her makes her turn round, the sound of a soft groan comes from a fragile form laid atop her operating table, as she had taken to calling it. Placing down her tools, she approaches her guest.

A lantern's light disturbs you from a deep slumber. As you awaken, you notice your body feels freer than it has in quite some time. Or at least, you remember not exactly feeling top-shelf, in the before. But, you suppose then this isn't the before, but rather the now.

"Awakened from our beauty-sleep, I see..." A pale-skinned woman, sporting a dress covered in oil stains and minor cuts stands to your left, observing you with a calm curiosity. You try and sit up to get a better look at your host and surroundings, and though you're a little dizzy, you can gather that you seem to be in some sort of workshop, laid on an operating table. "And How are you feeling, mon petit ami?" She asks. You remain silent, but wiggle your arm, legs, and other joints. Everything seems to be in working order, though a few pieces of your ball-joints seem to be needing some sort of grease or oil. "I- Well, I think I'm quite alright, but..." You look at the woman. "How did I get here, and who are you?"

"I," The woman bows her head slightly in greeting, "am Mademoiselle Madeline, and you, mon ami, are in my workshop." She gestures to the cluttered workspace behind her. "Now, as for how you got here, only you can answer a part of that mystery." Madeline steps back to her desk, and rifles through a series of tools and parts while she continues her tale. "I found you while I was out on a stroll in the historic district, the demolished old Kimbrough house to be exact. You were quite the sight, y'know. Pieces of you were all over the place. Took me quite a bit to find all of you and transport you back here. I haven't ever worked with your material before." She says, turning to back to face you for a moment. "Porcelain, are you?" You nod. "Hmm, I thought as much." She picks up a small cloth, and a jar filled with a thick, white paste. "If you don't mind holding still, I'd like to patch up a few minor chips." You hesitate, but allow her to continue. Using a small trowel, Mademoiselle Madeline spreads the paste onto a few small cracks surrounding your ball-joints, specifically the ones that let your knees function. Once the paste is applied, she pulls out a small pouch, and produces from it a few chips of porcelain. She places the back into the damaged areas with an artisans precision.

"There, just be sure to let that set for a while, no sudden, rough leg movements, alright?" She says, returning the materials to her desk. "Now, here's where I'd like to ask you to help me. Who are you?" She asks. You open your mouth to respond, but find no words come from your mouth, and no thoughts come to your mind. "I don't know, I can't seem to remember. It feels... It feels like a piece of me may be missing." You explain, brows furrowed in frustration. Mademoiselle Madeline pushes you no further, and only nods in pity. "I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. When I found you in that demolished property, it looked as if that old house had practically toppled down onto you. It's a miracle I found all your outer pieces. It's entirely possible that a few important inner elements may be missing." She says, looking you over for a few moments, as if taking you in. "You're an incredible piece of art, I must admit. I wasn't one-hundred percent sure you'd actually work, even with my tampering, much less be capable of thought. Then again, stranger things have happened." Her brief mentioning of how odd you are gives you pause.

"Miss?" You ask, and she hums in acknowledgement. "I'm not normal, am I?" She chuckles softly. "Well, to most, probably not, but to me?" She laughs. "You're just another patient." You tilt your head. "Patient?" You ask. "So you've treated people like me before?" You ask. She shakes her hand in a so-so manner. "Yes, with prosthetics and such, though I admit I've never dealt with someone entirely mechanical." You nod, looking at your now-repaired knees. "Sorry to cause you so much trouble." You apologize, but she quickly shakes her head. "Not at all. Most of your mechanisms only needed minor repair, I'd actually say the hardest part was working with those porcelain fingers of yours." She grabs your wrist and holds it up before her face, manipulating your fingers with hers. "I might have accidentally swapped the fingers into the wrong spots a few times, but I think I've sorted it out. Let me know if they give you any trouble." She muses, letting your hand fall back onto your lap. "Am I alive, truly?" You ask. She shrugs. "I don't know, I think it depends on your definition of 'alive'. Your whole body runs on gears and pulleys, but you seem to think and feel like any other person." Madeline picks up a picture, surrounded in a frame of copper. "You know, you actually remind me a bit of my son, Jack." She presents you with the photo.

A boy, around your age is sat in front of Mademoiselle Madeline, with pale skin and oddly-styled brown hair. Your eyes travel downwards, and you notice a peculiar feature of the boy, a clock lays prominent on his chest. "A time-piece?" You ask. "A cuckoo-clock, actually. Jack was born with a frozen heart, and I needed something to keep him ticking, for turn of phrase. Let me ask you something." You look at her. "Without his clock heart, Jack would die. His hands of time keep him ticking and tocking all the day long. Now let me ask you, does that make this human boy any less alive." You furrow your brows in thought, biting your frigid lip. You shake your head no, and she smiles. "Then I think you have the answer to your question."

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The rest of the afternoon, Mademoiselle Madeline treats you to tea (though you quickly find out that it tea is't the best idea when your stomach mechanics rust). In an attempt to clean the rust, you both stumbled upon a hatch in your chest and stomach, allowing for an easier clean up. It also gave Mademoiselle Madeline a better way to poke around in your inner-workings. You're grateful she always remained gentle. Eventually, you find yourself sitting in her kitchen, warming your cold porcelain over the flame of a candle. Madeline toils with a watch over at her desk. As you sit quietly, you hear footsteps approaching from outside.

The wooden door of the home swings open, and a flurry of snow and cold air sweeps into the home, prompting you to pull the candle closer to your chest. "I'm telling you, they look fine!" "You know I don't like them though, besides, I'm not afraid of bumping into things." A boy and a girl enter, clearly engaged in a debate. In the girls hand there is a pair of white-and-red dotted glasses. "Jack, while I would prefer Acacia to wear her glasses, she isn't as fragile as you." Madeline says, turning to face the boy. He sighs in defeat, prompting the girl to grin and shove her glasses back into his hands with a "Hmph!" of satisfaction. "No kiss?" Madeline asks, and Jack shakes his head and places a kiss on his mothers cheek. "Hello, Madeline." He greets. She nods in sanctification and exchanges a greeting with Jack's young love, Acacia. You watch the encounter from your place in the kitchen.

"Jack, I made an interesting new friend today..." She says, turning to face the boy. As the pair of teens remove their shoes, Jack nods to his mother. "Really? Someone in need of work?" He asks, tilting his head up to look at her out of the corner of his eye. "Mhmm, sort of." His face falls to confusion, and he turns to face Acacia, only to be met with a shrug. Madeline speaks no further, only motioning to the kitchen with a hand while returning to her work. Jack and Acacia follow her hand, a gasp leaving the boy as he sees you. The girl seems to have no reaction to your appearance, but you quickly realize she may not be able to see you. . Your eyes dart from them back down to the candle in front of you, unsure how to introduce yourself. Acacia is the first to approach you, while Jack simply stays back, examining you from a distance.

"Hello..." She greets softly, eyes squinting as she attempts to look at you. Jack smiles and sighs, before walking up behind the girl, reaching over her head and placing her glasses on her nose. She grumbles as she adjusts, blinking a few times as you come into focus. "Oh!" She lets out a surprised gasp, a smile spreading across her face as she looks back and forth between you and her lover. "Jack, they're mechanical, just like you!" She exclaims. You can't help but feel your nervousness fade away at how enthused the two seem. Jack quickly extends a hand to you, and you accept. He holds on, turning your hand over a few times to get a look at your delicate fingers.

"You're made of porcelain?" He asks. "So I've been told." You joke. "So, you're not human at all are you?" You wince at these words, and Jack feels a familiar ache in his clock-work heart when he sees your face fall. "I didn't mean... Well, I meant human in a 'flesh-and-bones' sense, not a 'feelings-and-senses' sense." "I sense your saying 'sense' a bit too much Jack, ease off." Acacia whispers. He blushes, embarrassed. You sigh, and say "No, I understand what you mean. And no, I don't have any skin. I'm all cogs and gears." You laugh. "Can't say I have much of a mind either, I can't really remember anything before now..." You muse, eyes trailing down absentmindedly. You feel a hand on your shoulder, and look up to see Jack has pulled the fabric of his coat to the side, revealing the cuckoo-clock from the photo. "Well, as it were, I understand what it's like being made out of 'gears and cogs'." He assures you. It feels nice.

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"Will you be staying with us?" Jack asks. It's later into the evening now, and the hissing of meat against a pan comes from behind, as Madeline cooks a meal for herself and the pair of teens in front of you, intent on learning all about you. You freeze, unsure how to respond. You would hate to over-step and ask to stay here, but you're not sure where else you could go. You're not even sure you know how to maintain your fragile mechanical form beyond basics like avoiding rain. Before you can respond, Mademoiselle Madeline responds, having somehow sensed your anxiety. "They will be, I'm sure you and Acacia will be more than accommodating." She shoots Jack a playful warning look, and he nods. "Of course, but I hope you don't mind if I ask to see some of your inner-workings. I don't even fully know how my heart functions, much less your whole body." Acacia nods in agreement. "I don't see why not, just don't break anything please. I'd rather like to keep my limbs in working condition. The three of you laugh, and Mademoiselle Madeline begins to set the table. A meal of cooked pork and bean stew sits in a bowl before you, the steam rising from it. You feel an ache in your heart, though you wish the ache was that of hunger instead. How you wish you could eat or drink.

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That night, Jack and Acacia tuck into their separate beds (at Mademoiselle Madeline's insistence). A small resting place has been set up for you on the nearby love-seat, and as you lay down you can't help but wonder if you need sleep, or are even capable of it. You shrug the thought off, supposing you will find out. Soft sighing sounds come from the leftmost bed, Acacia is asleep. A quiet ticking is present in the room, prompting Jack to cough awkwardly. "Apologies, I can't really control the sound." He says, and you sit up to look at him. "No, it's fine. I'm not bothered at all." He nods in response, and sits up to meet your gaze. "How come you don't make any ticking sounds?" He asks. You pause, pondering this. "Maybe my porcelain keeps the sounds inside? I don't actually know." You shift your position, pressing your knees up under your chin as Jack asks another question.

"You never mentioned your name?" He pushes. Once again, he feels awkward when your face falls. "I don't have one. Not one that I can remember, at least." You admit. Jack lets out a hum of understanding, and furrows his brows if in thought. "Well, maybe I could help you pick one?" He suggests. Jack reaches under his mattress and feels around, before pulling back and producing a journal. "These are some old scripts and notes from a friend. I've got a friend, he's a film maker actually." "What's a film?" "Long story. But he's also an excellent storyteller. Maybe we can find a name that suits you in here. For the next few hours, you and Jack traverse the pages of his old friends journal, with Jack explaining various inside jokes and references written within the pages. After some time, Jack points to a name mentioned briefly in the first stanza of a scribbled out poem. "Y/N? What about that? I think it suits you." You nod. "Y/N sounds nice. I'd like to be Y/N." Jack nods, and stuffs the journal back under his mattress. "Hmm. This is actually rather nice, Y/N. I've never had a sibling before." You tilt your head in confusion. "A sibling?" "Like a brother or sister. I mean. if you want to be siblings, that is. Don't feel obligated to agree." He trails off awkwardly. You relish for a moment in the feeling of having a family. "I would like that, Jack." He smiles.

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The next morning, Mademoiselle Madeline sends you, Jack, and Acacia off to school after reviewing Jack's rules three, (though after some minor adjustments to his heart there are only a two rules now.) "Remember Jack, if you need me to go down to the school and speak to the headmaster about-" "No thank you, Madeline. I can handle him myself, I promise. I'll be sure to keep my temper under control." You had overheard this conversation between Jack and his mother this morning as you put on the new uniform Madeline had given you. It felt quite odd, though the woolen school outfit did well to keep your porcelain warm. Now, as you trudged a few feet behind Jack and Acacia, you couldn't help but want to ask about this mysterious tormentor. Your questions do not go unanswered, as you soon find out.

You arrive at the school, staying close to Jack as he assists Acacia through the school gates, holding her hand to guide her up the stairs leading into the courtyard. "Ever the gentleman, Jack." She coos, and he grins. "Isn't that why you fell in love with me?" He teases. She pretends to think for a moment. "Hmm, can't say I did, on account of I couldn't really see you!" The pair laugh, and you can't help but grin at your new brother and his girlfriend. This sweet scene is cut short however, as a boy yells from across the playground. "Oi! Clock-boy, didn't we teach you enough of a lesson yesterday?" A scruffy looking red-headed boy approaches with a cruel grin. Jack's face falls, and Acacia's grows angry. She steps in-between Jack and the blurry form of the boy. "Leave him alone, he hasn't done anything to you!" She yells, stomping her foot down. The boy rolls his eyes. "This isn't your fight Acacia, move." The boy growls. Acacia's stance only grows more firm, and a feeling of worry settles inside you, where on a normal person would be a stomach.

"Please, Acacia, let me handle this." "But Jack-" Jack ignores her insistent remarks, and steps in front of her, bravely facing the boy. As of late, Jack had stopped hiding his heart within the confines of his school jacket, altering the uniform to display his abnormality. He figured that everyone at school had known about it, why should he hide what makes him proud simply to cater to the discomfort of the few who already hate him. Unfortunately, this did make him significantly more vulnerable, as the hands of his heart were now much easier to pull and pluck, and gears could be easily manipulated or removed. Jack and Acacia had initially believed that the bullying may have lessened due to the incident in which a boy lost his eye to the cuckoo-bird living in the clock, but this was not true. If nothing, this only increased feelings of anger and fear surrounding the eclectic boy and his already unpopular mother. "Just let us be, please. You've no reason to harass us." Jack looks the boy dead in the eyes with a firm stare, and for a moment, the cocky facade of the bully falters, fear replacing the jest in his eyes. As the children surrounding you and the group watch the boy with bated breath, he feels unable to back down, and escalates. Clenching his hand, he lets out a cold laugh as he launches a first towards Jack's heart, clearly with intent to harm the boy. You gasp in terror, and can practically feel the world slow around you. You've only known Jack a short while, but his mother made you well aware of how fragile his heart is. In a moment of adrenaline and stupidity, you thrust yourself forward.

As the boy's fist collides with your hard cheek, he yelps in pain, recoiling as you go tumbling onto the ground. You feel odd, and as the boy cradles his bruised fist, you feel as though your head is unbalanced. You quickly realize that your cheek is missing a large chunk of porcelain, which now lays chipped on the ground in front of you. As you grab the shard quickly and hold it to your chest, you look up, causing the crowd to gasp. "What is it?" "Some sort of doll?" "It's terrifying!" "Can it hear us?" "I bet Clock-boys witch mother made it."

You tremble before the crowd of onlookers, their words harming you more than the punch to your face. Acacia quickly kneels beside you, shielding your face from the crowd as he examines the damage. "Does it hurt?" She asks. You shake your head. "No, It doesn't really feel like anything." As Jack begins to yell in retaliation at the injured boy, Acacia attempts to fit the piece of porcelain back into your cheek. "It looks like a very small shard is missing." Acacia says, having matched up most of the shard to your face. As the crowd switches between jeering at you and taunting Jack in his anger, a shadow stretches across the playground, causing a hush to fall over the crowd.

Acacia and Jack freeze, as a tall figure emerges from behind where she is kneeled on the pavement. The courtyard is completely silent, save for the ticking of Jack's heart, which has become more erratic due to the stress of the current situation. Clicking heels approach, and Acacia moves up a little, shielding you and your face from the approaching stranger. "Acacia?" The odd male voice questions. She stands promptly, shuffling in front of you as she faces the boy. Though you can't see much, you can tell the figure towers over Acacia, maybe even Jack. The boy has dark hair, and what appears to be an eye-patch covering his right eye. "Joe, hello." Acacia greets, bowing slightly. Jack looks at her, and she only widens her eyes for a moment, telling him to just remain quiet. "What is the meaning of this disruption?" Joe spits, turning to the cowering red-haired boy. The boy points a finger quickly at Jack. "That freak started it!" "He did not!" Acacia yells, but Joe simply puts his hand up, silencing them both. "And is the freak the reason you're bleeding?" He asks, grabbing the boy's wrist and making him grunt in pain. "N-no. I tried to knock that stupid time-piece out of his chest, but I hit that thing instead!" Joe's visible eye flares with anger, and he raises his free hand. "You dare to hit Miss Acacia?" He exclaims, clearly about to face the boy with his full fury. "W-what! No! I didn't hit her, I hit that other freak. Please, Joe, believe me!" Joe's open palm stops mere inches from the boy's face. "'The other freak'?" Joe questions, a brow raised. The boy uses his uninjured hand to point behind Acacia, and Joe steps to the side to peer around her. He sees not much more than a crumpled female form, so he drops the boy's wrist and steps closer. A huff of air leaves his nose in surprise as he moves closer, seeing your chipped face.

"What is it?" He sneers, looking past Acacia and glancing at Jack. "Surely you must know, Clock-boy." Jack sneers back at him. "There not an 'it', it's my sibling." He exclaims, stepping forward to stand beside Acacia. "Their name is Y/N." Acacia says. Joe seems to respect the girl's opinion more, and he calms himself a bit, taking a deep breath. "And it's your friend?" He asks. "THEY are." She corrects him. He goes silent, glancing down at you from your spot on the ground with a cold look. Suddenly, he reaches down and grips your wrist harshly, pulling you quickly to your feet. You stumble a bit, and Acacia places her hand on the small of your back to steady you. "Be careful, they're fragile!" Joe scoffs. "Clearly, look at them. What's wrong with their face?" His free hand roughly grazes around the edge of your cracked facial porcelain. "He was going to hurt Jack, they got in the middle." Joe glances back at the bully from earlier, who seems to be once more in shock.

"Ugh! I think some of it's face is stuck in me!" He yells, panicked. Sure enough, the missing scrap of porcelain that Acacia said was missing is lodged into the boys wrist, having drawn a light pool of blood around it. Joe drops your wrist and returns to look at the injury. "See, look what it did to me- AH!" Joe quickly yanks the shard out of the boys wrist, and drops of scarlet blood begin to drip from the piece. "What was that for?" The boy cries. Joe rolls his eyes and scoffs at the boy's pathetic nature. "It's no more than a paper cut. Besides, the weak of body are weaker of mind." He begins to return to you and Acacia. "Toughen up." He calls over his shoulder. With a glance to the side and a wave of his hand, Joe disperses the crowd of students, who scatter at his command. Joe roughly grabs your chin, placing the small piece against your cheek. He hums in satisfaction when he sees where it fits in, and turns to hand it to Acacia. "I believe this will help out your friend." He says, bowing as he begins to take his leave. He knocks Jack's shoulder as he walks by, and pauses. "See, Jack? I'm capable of doing no harm. Maybe you should learn from me." He coos, before continuing his walk back into the school as the bell rings. As kids file into the school, the three of you hang back to recover.

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"Do you need to go home? I'm sure I can take you..." Acacia offers, gently rubbing your shoulder. You shake your head, attempting to swallow down your fear. "N-no, I'm fine. Really." She nods. "Alright, Jack are you okay?" He brushes off his shirt, and after adjusting his hair and flicking his clock, he's ready to go. Acacia heads off to her first class, but you grab your brother's sleeve for a moment to ask him to stop. "Jack?" "Hmm?" You bite your lip, wondering if you should ask what you're wondering. Before you can decide, Jack sighs and senses what you want to know. "The boy in black? That was Joe." He looks away. "He's been, tormenting me ever since' I set foot in this school." You feel a wave of pity wash over you, as Jack seems absolutely manic as he recounts the things Joe has done to him. "He's hit me, cut me, and he let his goons rip open my heart!" He yells. He pauses when he sees the fear in your eyes, and tries to calm himself. "I'm sorry, I... I'd just ask you to avoid him. Please." He urges, and you nod. "It doesn't seem like he harbors any resentment towards Acacia. Do you know why?" You ask. He nods. "Yes. Joe latched onto Acacia when she first moved here. His family is single-handedly funding Acacias stay in Edinborough. She's not a citizen, and he seems to think he owns her because of that." He chuckles. "I suppose they're a bit like us. Siblings, I mean. He's very protective of her." Jack explains. You nod, following your brother into the school. As the click of your heels and the ticking of Jack's heart echo through the room, one more question comes to mind. "Why did Joe say you could learn from him?" You ask. Jack looks confused, then clicks his tongue as he realizes what you're referring to. "I'll tell you, but... promise that you won't be scared, okay?" Your expression turns to one of worry.

"Well, now I am a little scared!" You joke, trying to laugh off the nerves. Jack moves his hand to his chest, and he pokes at the little door atop his cuckoo-clock, from which the bird emerges every hour. He taps it, and the little metal bird pops out, squawking thrice before retreating into its home once more. "One day, Joe was tormenting me, as usual. But, I didn't notice the time, and the more he hit me, the closer he got to my heart. He leaned in to grab it out, and well..." He pauses. Shock grips you coldly as you realize that Jack's little Cuckoo bird is the reason for Joe's eye-patch. Jack nods as he recognizes you have understood his words. "I hope you do not think lesser of me..." He says. You shake your head quickly, wanting to remove any thoughts of doubt from his mind. "No. I couldn't think lesser of you. If it had been intentional, I would say it was self-defense, but you didn't even want to harm Joe. You reacted better than most would have, brother." you place your hand on his shoulder comfortingly. He smiles back at you. As the two of you leave the main hall and enter the classroom, you feel a chill run down your spine, but ignore it. What you don't see is the dark, one-eyed figure looming just around the corner.

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From where Joe watches, he finds the sneer he wore when looking at your brother falling, as gazes lands on you. Jack holds the door open for you, and as peers from around the corner of the man hall as he hears your melodic voice thanking him. His fist clenches. In his heart, 'a real heart', as he so often mentioned to Jack, a battle of emotions rages. His hatred of Jack and his mother's freakish nature, his annoyance at Acacia's newfound love for the boy, and newest of all, a foreign feeling. A warm pulsing feeling spreads in his heart, strange to the icy boy who's lived his whole life in an even colder town. He feels anger at his inability to understand this feeling, but more anger at the desires this feeling brings. He wants your attention, though he doesn't understand why. He wants your strange, 'freakish', face turned towards him at all times, rather than your bastard clockwork brother. He wants your melodic voice to call out for him, rather than in fear of the boy who smashed in your face in the school courtyard. In this moment, he comes to a decision. His tormenting of your brother will continue, possibly even worsen. In this way, your attention will be on him. He can show you that he is in charge of this school. You will see the fear that he is regarded with, and surely your brother and Miss Acacia will tell you tales of his reputation. Surely, your brother is in no position to defend you, he has more enemies at this school than he has friends in the whole village. You'll no doubt face hardship, given your closeness to that freak and your odd features. You'll need someone to protect you, and Acacia won't always be there. Once you are well aware of his power, surely you will turn to him in your time of need, beg him to help you and to stop hurting your brother. He will, of course, for a price. Just like Acacia, he will have you under his thumb, under his protection. His fist clenches as he begins his walk into the classroom, mumbling to himself.

"A precious piece of porcelain needs a caretaker, no?"

#cartoon x reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #fanfic #reader insert #Jack and the cuckoo clock heart 2013 #jack and the cuckoo clock heart #miss acacia #Joe #Acacia #jatcch #yandere fanfiction #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere content #tw.dark content #fanfiction #yandere male

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yandere-daze · 2 years

Note

Congrats on 2000!! I'm so happy for you, you def deserve a lot more <33 i just wanted to say thank you for the amazing content ^^ i love everything you write (esp amir my beloved <3) if it's alright with you, what do think abt reader discovering mika(enstars) killed someone for them or maybe even caught him in the act? And what if they actually forgive him? I'm starved for mika content,, thank you so much if you decide to do this!! :D

Awww thank you!! That´s so nice I think I´m going to cry 😭

In that case you will be happy to know that I still got a few Amir asks in my inbox that you can look forward to😏 I can´t say it enough how much I like writing for him because I pretty much have complete creative freedom over him compared to like actual characters that at least have *some* characteristics I´ll have to abide by. I can just go wild when it´s my own oc so I´m really just so grateful that there are people out there that like reading that kind of thing as well🥺💕

OOOh yes, another yandere Mika post!! I just can´t help it, I love him so much and he´s like exactly the type of yandere I love! It´s sad how little content there is out there for him ( or I guess yandere enstars in general). I guess I´ll just have to make it my personal mission to put the content out there. It´s what the people want!!😤😤

I'm actually kind of proud of this one so I hope you enjoy!!

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

gn reader

tw yandere, obsession, murder, blood, worshipping, reader is enabling very bad behavior, toxic relationship

Reader discovers that Yandere! Mika killed someone for them but forgives him

Okay so I think in one of the yandere tarot posts I mentioned that Mika wouldn´t kill any of his darling´s loved ones because he doesn´t want them to be sad even if he personally would prefer for all these other people to disappear so he doesn´t have to be so jealous all of the time, and I still stand by that

He´s obviously beneath them so how could he ever dare to sadden his precious darling? More than anything, he wants you to be happy, to be happy with him and so he tries to hold back even though it´s hard for him to stand by and watch as your attention shifts from him to your other so-called friends

But don´t get me wrong, that doesn´t mean that Mika wouldn´t kill anyone. I feel like he´s one of the few yanderes that is actually capable of just straight up murdering someone for his darling without so much as blinking an eye. It´s pretty scary how willing he is to get his hands dirty if only he thinks that it might improve his darling´s life

Friends and family might be off-limits but surely the same doesn´t apply to rude random strangers or even worse, straight up bullies? Seeing someone bother you like that and making you uncomfortable is enough to make Mika´s blood boil. How dare they. How could they. It takes all of his willpower to not just jump at them and wildly punch and beat them down without abandon

No, he has to stay calm for the moment, you´re still there with him after all. He can´t let you see him when he´s doing something so barbaric, someone as nice as you would surely be frightened if you saw him all blood-stained like that! You might start to think that Mika is a bad and scary person and he wants anything but that to happen!

He just adores you so so much, that he almost can´t take it and this is his way of repaying you for all of the joy and love you made him feel. Getting rid of the people that put you down is the least he can do for you!

And so Mika is all too willing to follow his victim into an alleyway until they are all alone before confronting them. There isn´t a lot of talking going on actually, he pretty much straight up jumps into action

All that poor person will get as an explanation is a scream of “I´ll make ya pay fer what ya did to my precious darling! No one is allowed to push ´em around like that!”

Right afterwards he charges at the stranger that accidentally bumped into you at the coffee shop you two visited earlier and hits the back of their head with the large shovel he brought with him

He does it over and over until they completely stop twitching and the ground and both of their clothes are covered in blood. Anger consumes Mika as he keeps thinking about the fact that they hadn´t even the decency to apologize after committing such a heinous crime. It almost makes him sad that the punishment went over so quickly but there just wasn´t any time to waste. He was supposed to meet up with you again later so he really couldn´t afford to be late!

So as quick as he can, Mika picks up the body and starts dragging it through the small alleyway. He has to get rid of the body somehow, take a shower and change his clothes so he can be right on time. He doesn´t think he could live with himself if he ended up making you wait for him. No, he can´t let that happen!

He just needs to get rid of this annoying body fast and then he can finally be with you again! Oh how he misses you already even though it´s only been a few hours since you last saw each other! He just can´t help but hum a happy little tune, now in a good mood at the prospect of getting to see you soon, as he drags the mangled corpse across the dirty ground

There should be a field somewhere close by where he can bury the body...

He's about halfway done with digging the hole when suddenly an all too familiar voice calls out for him

"Mika are you there? We were supposed to meet 30 minutes ago and you're usually never late so I went looking around a bit to see if I could find you. Is everything okay?"

In any other situation, Mika would have been overjoyed to hear your voice and even more so when you show concern for his well-being like this because obviously that must mean you care about him! But no, not this time

He was in the process of burying the dead body of the person he had killed himself and you caught him red-handed. The one person he didn't want to know about this

He unconsciously shifts around a bit in an attempt to hide the body behind him from view but he's not doing a very good job at being inconspicuous when there very clearly is a gaping hole in the ground and he's holding a bloody shovel in hand. There's blood on his shirt as well!

You can tell he's very shifty and nervous, he's trembling all over. He's not scared because he fears that he's going to get reported to the police, he's scared that you might grow to fear or resent him now that you knew what violent actions he was capable of

He didn't want that! He wants you to look at him with a smile on your face, not fear! You're such a good and upstanding person, you must be disgusted by him! You would never want to date a murderer, it's all over for him! He can never be close to you again nor dream of ever becoming your boyfriend

What is Mika even supposed to do with himself now that you, his one light in life, are now gone, forever unreachable? What purpose does life still hold for him? Nothing! He's nothing without you!

"Wait is that-holy shit is that a dead body??"

There it is. You saw. Mika can't even look you in the eye, he doesn't want to see the horror on your face, too ashamed of himself that you had to see this

"Wait, I can explain! Ya know, y/n! This pest-this person, they were so rude to ya! ! They ran into ya without apologizing and I was so angry, how dare they??! So I followed them and I hit 'em' cause I was so angry and I wanted to protect ye! I couldn't let them get away with hurting ya! I'm so so sorry ya had to see this whole mess though, a gentle person like ya is way too good for scary stuff like this.. "

Now any normal person would have been terrified and disgusted, shocked at the revelation that someone they had thought of as a close friend turned out to be a murderer. No one would have blamed you if you screamed your lungs out and ran for your life

But for whatever reason, that's not what you did. Maybe it was out of pity for Mika, who was quietly sobbing now as he anticipated that you were going to abandon him now. Maybe you felt responsible, after all it was because of you that this innocent person was killed, and you didn't want to run away from that fact, wanted to face it head on

Or maybe, a quiet voice told you, maybe you actually held some form of adoration for Mika as well. Maybe you were just being selfish, didn't want to let go of him and the future you may have imagined with him

After a prolonged amount of silence, you reach out your arm and Mika closes his eyes, flinching as if he was expecting you to hit him in anger. You were not that kind of person and yet in this kind of situation he couldn't blame you. If it meant that he could at least relieve you of a few of these boiling emotions, than he was more than prepared to take any kind of punishment from you

But the touch of your hand that made contact with his cheek was not harsh, it was slow and hesitant and yet gentle all the same. Mika wondered if it was improper of him to hope that you might have it in your heart to forgive him as you stroked his cheek, not caring that the blood that clung to him now also smeared the back of your hand, as if the dark red served as a sign of the corruption that was forming it's hold on your mind

Unconsciously, Mika leaned into your touch, all too eager to lap up any kind of affection you were willing to give. He almost pouts when you pull away and he hopes his eyes just in time to see with widened eyes that you had picked up the shovel he had dropped in shock when you called out to him earlier

Your grip was shaky but firm all the same and there was a scary glint of determination in your eyes that Mika couldn't help but be drawn to

"We'll have to be quick", is what you finally say after what seemed to be an eternity of silence after his own outburst

"Y/n what do you-"

"People might walk around the corner any moment now. We'll have to be quick with burying the body if we don't want to get caught. Anyone would be able to connect the dots if they saw your dreadful bloody clothes and the dead body laying on the ground. Come on, you don't want to get arrested, do you? "

Then it all went by very quick. You lifted up the shovel and started to continue digging the hole Mika had started, your movements hectic and fast as he stood to the side, still dazed from what had just happened

You.. didn't run away screaming? And now you were helping him with hiding the body? Does this mean that there is still hope? At least he'll take you not wanting him to go to jail as a positive sign

When the thought finally settles that this might not be the end, Mika springs back into motion and takes the shovel out of your hands, declaring that you shouldn't dirty yourself any more than you already have. He'll take care of everything from now on

Whether you know it or not, you've just opened up the floodgates. All this time, Mika has held back because he thought you might hate him but now that he knows that you have it in you to even forgive him for committing murder in your name, he doesn't think that he'll stop anytime soon

He'll try to not make any repeats of tonight because he doesn't want to burden you any more but not that he has your "approval" he wants to keep being useful to you and get rid of all the unworthy pests that make your life miserable

You've shown him that there are still more ways in which he can showcase his love and dedication to you

Yes, maybe that very night the last piece of his sanity broke away. But it's okay as long as he can serve you as your precious and loyal doll

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