#idk if im making myself clear or not im not good with words but the downes story like many stories in rdr make me sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hanniluvi · 9 months

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC

“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.

PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader

GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !

WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶

#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.

Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?

#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.

How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.

#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.

It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.

#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.

Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.

#5 – YOU LIKE ME.

I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.

#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.

The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.

What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.

#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.

I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.

#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.

It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.

#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.

We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?

It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?

#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.

You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.

I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.

I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.

💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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applesooyoung · 11 months

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NSFW! SUB!SKZ headcanons (ooooh she bacc and alive (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧)

Genre: Spicy A/N: Applied fem! reader Warnings: Adult and suggestive stuff not gonna list them all cuz we'll take the whole day when I list all bc this is N A S T Y

Now playing: Baby I - Ariana Grande

Bangchan - Don't even get me started you guys- - I hope it's already clear that subby Chan is my fave - This baby boy DEF loves quality time and words of affirmations - He's just the best baby boy hands down - Choke him, spank him, tie him, chain him, blindfold him YOU WOULDN'T HEAR ANY WHINES HE'S OK UNTIL HE PLEASES YOU AND I AM NOT OK - and as a person with size kink, him being canonically smaller than me just makes wanna- - though i feel like he has a few bratty streaks but that only happens once in a blue moon - He likes to go vanilla and half kinky but leaning on the vanilla side more ykwim?? - Like he loves borderline bdsm shit but he gets more turned on w/ vanilla shit idk idk but i hope you peeps get my point - YO ALSO IMAGINE PEGGING HIM IN THE MUSIC STUDIO WHILE HE'S MAKING ONE OF THEIR SONGS - Just loves soft yet passionate sex - oh and his moans too? - He has a mommy kink and I'm right so you may shut up - A mommy's boy omg - IM STOPPING HERE I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO STOP MYSELF, YOUR HONOR (plstellmeifyouwantmetomakeapt2idgladlydoso)

Lee Know - sugar and spice and everything nice™ - bratty ≥ sassy - lowkey himbo and trophy bf vibes im sorry - he just reminds me of kento in todome no seppun and it's not funny - my fave manwhore </3 - it's power bottom or nothing - the type to force your hips down in his cock type of guy - demanding 10000 - He's cocky at first but ISTG this mf becomes the most submissive piece of schitt's creek when you fuck this little guy - oh don't get me going with the aftercare - he's just so vulnerable at this point that his once asshole facade fades to that an innocent little kitten - He still might have remnants of the a-hole attitude but he's probably ruined by you so there is a chance that he won't - ngl i kinda feel he a switch- but sub!lee know supremacy

Changbin - hard bot :j - The whiniest award goes to.......... SEO CHANGBIN!! - did i mention his pretty whimpers too?? - LOVES it when you hold his hands while doing it - Sugarbaby changbin ; v ; - maybe it's just he loves plushies and I could just see his s/o buying and spoiling him with a fuck ton of plushies -oof what if he fucks those plushies while your gone wtf - that's kinda cute not gonna lie - also i feel like he loves any type of love language as long as you love him, that's enough for him - OH YEAH UM - Phone sex with changbin- - Subby Gamer changbin while you dom him in a discord call - interesting, eh? - ok i just realized that sounded a bit weird but it's kinda cute if you put it in an ok way yk?? - imagine his baritone-ish voice moaning for you ;[ - looks intimidating at first - BUT TRUST ME, HE'S A BABY - a big, submissive, and cuddly one

Hyunjin - sassy ≥ bratty - pillow princess/passenger princess material tho- - REAALLY whiny too not that it's annoying but rather cute - often mistyped as a power bottom... He is - loves praises - he's a people pleaser so we're not really surprised - "Am I a good kitty, y/n" um yes you are, you sassy mf- - DEF loves dressing up for you - IT'S BECAUSE HE'S AWARE OF HOW HE LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU FUCK HIM OR IF YOU LIKE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE OR NOT - it's cute ngl gijrothtlrjbdoijth also imagine sugar baby!Hyunjin? - I'm looking respectfully like- - imagine buying things for him because he's been a good boy these past weeks and he's (surprisingly) not been pissing the shit out of you - like buying him accessories and jewelry and treating him like your very own pretty little princess - lipsticks, new dresses, necklaces etc... he loves those - He really loves it when you gift him stuff, he feels loved and appreciated - spoiled little baby omg - I lowkey think masochist!Hyunjin is a thing too so- - Loves punishments (shockers)

Jisung - ngl I kinda feel like he's a wild card (? ?) - but I feel like he's the literal borderline of bratty and good boy - he's really touchy when horny... cute - also, really needy imo - like think of him being horny and he'd definitely and most likely would hump your pillow bcs it has your scent and he couldn't help it - speaking of humping I'm thinking petplay Han -weird ik but not like the extreme bdsm with those whipping and brat taming stuff that needs cages, bowls, collars, leashes, and stuff... right? - hahahahahahahah right, guys? - r i g h t ? */slowly descends into insanity - All jokes aside, I could actually imagine Jisung being like that tho especially since I already put it out there - he's literally the middle of everything... he's neither kinky nor vanilla, good or bratty, top or bottom. That's why I said he's kind of a wild card - weird thought but I feel like he's the type to cum like fast FAST - he's just maybe sensitive on those parts and shit but u get my point - like you could just jerk him for a while and he'll cum under 5 minutes and it's not funny - he loves it when you're protective but in a good way like how you always take care of him and love him always - he also loves when you spend time with him + doing stuff together even if it's silly like who eats the most chips wins $100 and the loser washes the dishes for a week. - he just loves being close and intimate with you

Felix - ok ok ok omg - ok so first of all, he loves his cuddles - you're working? cuddles, sleeping? cuddles, driving? cuddles, cooking? cuddles. - So I hope you get the clue already, yes, he's clingy and touchy - He's so fucking cute omg - burying his face in your chest or the crook of your neck sexual or nonsexual aspects honestly, he loves it - he's so fragile and soft pls protecc him > ﹏ < - spewing out random words of affection is his favorite hobby - he wants you to ruin him </3 - HE SQUEAKS WHEN HE MOANS - I know y'all are suckers for his deep voice but Felix with a higher-pitched voice >>> - He'll melt when you put your hands on his hips while you fuck him, do it, I dare you - whimpers and everything - a kinky baby tho- he likes being tied up - he kins with changbin and I love it - loves degradation - he gets soooo turned on when you stand as his parental figure of like just being the person that takes care of him - Thigh riding >>>

Seungmin - Step aside ladies and gentlemen, the goodest of the boys is coming thru~ - his favorite petname is pup or puppy and that's canon - He's so cute that everything and I mean EVERYTHING you do turns him the fuck on no shit on that - but be careful, he doesn't really enjoy degradation that much, he's vvv sensitive so please take care of your baby seungmin - but instead, give him words of affirmation. This builds his confidence - he cries when you go rough with him, you're being a meanie >:[ - he's your personal fuck toy but again, please be careful. He's so fragile - but I can actually see him taking care of you instead during aftercare - "I hope I did well for you today, Mommy" hufduighdfiughig hold me back, hold me back- - size kink, def size kink. He loves it when you wear your heels - he likes his look simple, just a plain pair of white thigh highs and that's it! He looks so fucking gorgeous and it's not funny - leashing him while he rides your cock is just- - and also when you hold his hands during missionary? Take my money and go. I'm a slut for that and I'm proud of it - but besides those soft things about him... - I believe he has a breeding kink - those puppy eyes when you fuck him in front of a mirror as you hit it from behind- ugh - overall, seungmin is a cute and soft little babyy

I.N - a BEAM of sunshine!! - so bright, so cute, so eager, so.... fuckable - He's such a good boy too and it hurts - although he sometimes kinda brats you but please he's 3% brat and 97% angel descended from the heavens above - idk if it's just me but it's always the maknaes that radiate the most golden retriever energy? Maybe bcs they're so young but nonetheless, I'm living for it - he always greets you with smile and always hugs you awe ;[ - LOVES IT when you mark him up - It doesn't matter where his neck? go, his thighs? go, his arms? go, his jaw? go! go ahead - + the moans and whimpers he'd make while you mark him up is straight up the epitome of immaculate - he has a heck of a stamina - i mean what do we expect from a goldret energy he radiates - loves your regular quickies - can actually handle a lengthy amount of handjobs, he's so good at keeping edged and overstimulated - buff baby boi - clip on fox ears >>>> - doesn't really like dress ups but on special occasions like your birthday, he'd wear his pretty lingerie set you bought him as a gift. - and ofc we know what happens next ;]]]]]]]]

#applesooyoung #stray kids smut #skz #sub!skz #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #jisung #felix #seungmin #i.n #jeongin #stray kids

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melodygatesauthor · 1 year

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Hii!! Happy early birthday <3 I hope im not too late. Its still march 12th on my side lol

Could i please request an f reader with steven grant and the prompt “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

A Big Mistake

Steven Grant X f!Reader

Hi Nonnie! Idk why but I pictured brat tamer! Steven when I came up with this drabble. I hope you liked it!

Tags/Warnings: NSFW, brat tamer Steven, orgasm delay, cock warming, creampie, p in v, meanie Steven.

Word Count: 659

It was clear now that you’d made a huge mistake in underestimating sweet little Steven’s knack for brat taming. When you mocked him after a hard day at work, and he told you to watch your tone (in a not so playful way), you didn’t think the eye roll that followed would land you in the position you found yourself in shortly after.

Steven was sitting at the foot of the bed, with you sheathing his erection deep in your slick channel, back leaning against his heaving chest, completely dependent on him for any small bit of friction. Your legs were hanging on either side of his thighs, unable to reach the ground. If he didn’t thrust into you, then you weren’t going to get any of the stimulation that you so desperately craved.

He had one large hand around your delicate throat, and the other was between your legs, two thick fingers just barely brushing against your sensitive clit.

“Steven, please.” You begged with a needy whine to follow, “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, love, it's only been a minute. I need to make sure you learned your lesson, yeah?” He was breathing heavily in your ear.

You nodded, “yeah, yes.”

You sounded so pathetic, not that it mattered. The only thing that mattered was getting Steven to believe that you were sincerely apologetic for the way you mocked and sassed him earlier. You were so wet. Your entire body was sensitive under his touch, all you needed was for him to move…even just a little.

“Good, that’s real good darling.” He hummed while his cock pulsated softly inside of you. “You really think you’re something don’t you? Rolling your eyes at me like that.”

“It was dumb. Mm, shouldn’t have done that to you, I’m so sorry.” You shifted your hips, he gripped you tighter.

Even just that little bit felt so fucking good. You whimpered, feeling so helpless and aching with your dripping arousal. Everything underneath you was so slick. You were shocked he didn’t just slide out.

“That’s enough, I told you to stay still. I can get myself off just thinking about you…” his cock throbbed as though to prove his point, “if you want to be rewarded you’d better behave, right?” You’d never heard Steven’s tone so dark.

“Y-yes.”

“Right, I know you can be good f’me.”

Steven let out a moaning growl that rumbled from deep within his chest. He moved his fingers around your clit, not enough to achieve your release, but enough to make your desire grow. You let out a groan, one that compelled Steven to kiss the soft skin of your neck. You felt his cock twitch inside of you.

“Not gonna have you actin’ like that anymore, like a little brat. I put up with enough shit at work, not gonna have you doing it too yeah?”

You gasped as he started moving faster, “yeah, yes anything you want Steven I’ll do it I promise. I’ll be good.”

“Thought so.” He started churning his hips, the head of his cock rubbed against a spot deep inside you that brought you to the brink within seconds. “You’re lucky it was me you did that to, Jake and Marc wouldn’t have been so forgiving love.”

“Thank you, baby, thank you so much.” You were almost in tears. It felt so good.

“Next time I won’t be so nice, go ahead and let go for me, wanna feel it.” His cock hardened and stilled while he started painting your walls white.

Steven’s moan was rough against your ear. That’s all you needed to reach your own orgasm. Between his dexterous fingers working over your clit, and his thick cock sliding upward into you, you were trembling over him, cunt crashing around his girth in waves. He kissed and licked your neck while you nearly screamed from the sensations coursing through you.

You’d do your best not to upset Steven ever again.

Moon Knight Masterlist

Birthday Celebration Masterlist

#steven grant fiction #steven grant headcanon #steven grant fic #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant #steven grant smut #moon knight drabble #moon knight smut #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight fic #moon knight

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for talking bad about a friend to a group of mutual friends?

I (21f at the time) became friends with a woman (31f) due to work. We both started at the same time and felt on the outs. She ended up becoming "friends" with a ton of people there, only to call me on her drive home and talk shit about them. I don't do that fake stuff, I'll be nice and polite and cordial but im not going to talk outside of work.

Anyways, me and this woman, Nancy I'll call her, were friends. I had just turned 21 and she made it a point to get me to have my first drink. It was fine, didn't really like the taste of it but I wanted to fit in. I got drunk but she let me stay at her place no big deal.

Throughout the next year I noticed things were...weird. I should have clued in when she talked crap about other people to me but would talk to them and agree to make plans (she never would follow through).

She started asking me my sexuality. Always. Talking. About. It. She kept claiming I was repressed and I needed to embrace myself, how she would be proud of me. Except the one time I finally told her the truth, I was on the asexual spectrum, she laughed in my face and told me I had something wrong with me.

She then claimed it was because I hadn't experienced sex yet- or had i? That became her next obsession. Virgin, not virgin, half virgin (her words idk). She would constantly ask, even bringing it up in front of other people. It was embarrassing, even if there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

When I say obsessed about these things I mean EVERY TIME we met up outside of work she would bring these topics up (once a week). For almost a year.

There were other small things but I thought I was just being petty or insecure or something. But then the incident occurred. I was at her house and someone we knew was also there. He touched me non-consensually and didn't stop when I made it clear I wanted him to. He would have done more if he could, there was not a doubt in my mind. I was able to get out and get in a different room and lock the door, which he tried to open.

The issue was she knew he liked me. I had just found out that night. She kept encouraging me to drink and I did. I dont blame her for me drinking, that was my fault. I do blame her for leaving me alone with him when she knew I was uncomfortable being around him after he kept flirting with me. I was so drunk I couldn't stand up and she left me.

But she had also drank and I was going to say it was just because of that. Until a week later she got mad at me for kicking the guy out of her house (which I didnt do but I guess he claims i did). She looked me in the eyes and said it would have been my fault if he died cause he also had been drinking. I told her I didn't tell him to leave nor did I kick him out. She said that he said I did. I personally didn't care if he claimed I did because I didn't do that, she should believe me as her friend, and I quote "I literally just left as soon as possible because he groped me".

She looked me in the eyes and told me "I don't care if he raped you, he was drunk and it was my house, you had no right to kick him out".

Again, I didnt kick him out. I did tell him he could stay or leave and I didnt give a shit, but I never told him he had to (even if I WANTED him to).

I was obviously very perturbed by this. I stopped being her friend. I did bring it up once a year later when she reached out and wanted to amend things. She took no responsibility for what she said, claimed I was being insensitive. When I asked her how she thought I felt, she claimed she was a recovering alcoholic and had been drinking that entire time and wasn't thinking straight.

Which I could understand for some things she said or did, but what about when she was sober?

I quit being her friend. A few months back, I was hanging out with 2 mutual friends and a girl I had never met. We all were laughing and having a good time, no drinks involved (ever since that night I haven't drank). One of my friends mentioned Nancy and how we should invite her. I made a face and they asked why. I simply said we weren't friends anymore. They kept pressuring me and wouldn't drop the subject.

I finally told them. I said, and I quote because I remember it VERY clearly, "We aren't friends because she's a despicable person. I was groped and she told me she wouldn't have cared if I was raped. She also wouldn't shut the fuck up about my sexuality and my status of virginity, whether I was or wasn't."

The one girl I hadn't met had gasped and comforted me. The other two was shocked but then shared a few things Nancy had done to them. I felt a lil better knowing that these people also felt bad and it wasn't all in my head like Nancy had claimed.

Well, I just got a message from Nancy. Turns out, that girl worked with her now. Nancy was trying to get a promotion and that girl was actually her supervisor. She was denied a promotion based on her actions. The girl used plenty of examples, none that could quite come back to me and almost all related to work i found out. But I guess one of our mutual friends told her I had mentioned something because she knew. She said it was my fault she didn't get the promotion. She then told me that she was struggling with a newborn and how this would have helped a lot and now the newborn may suffer.

I feel bad for the baby as the baby has nothing to do with the parent. I didnt know when I mentioned what happened to the girl that it would cost her a promotion. I feel sick to my stomach thinking that I did the one thing she did that made me mad, be friends to their face but talk shit behind their back.

I have been banned from the company under Nancy's order apparently, which is fine I can go elsewhere it was just nice seeing people I worked with previously. But now everyone knows something went down. Nancy and her fiance are really coming at me for their troubles and I feel terrible. St the time I didnt think I was the asshole but I dont know now. Should I apologize?

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #rape cw

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a-pop-of-korean · 20 days

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hello i have a question about learning korean ^^

i started ( self ) studying it about two years ago but discontinued due to college and all, but now i want to pick it up again and i don't know where to start from? i know how to read and write, but i have issues reading in one go— basically i lack fluency in reading and i often stutter. is there any way to improve?

secondly, i do know some basic stuff however my vocabulary isn't vast enough. besides, i would like to understand the sentence structure, or how they write phrases and sentences since it's very different from english. i've referred to so many sites but there's always a question— do i work on vocabulary first or sentence / phrasing structure first? or do i study both of them along side?

this sounds like such a mess and it is because i'm so lost ┬┬﹏┬┬ my main goal is to understand korean shows without subtitles and i do pick up a few words and phrases here and there but there's a lot still left to learn and idk where to start from. moreover, i've noticed that the textbook korean and the one that's spoken in everyday life is way different ( this applies to almost all the languages tbh ) and i'm having a bit of a trouble trying to figure out how a native would say it?

or example, do this thing where i come up with a sentence and try to translate it just to check what it would be in korean and check in the translator to see if i'm right, and most of the time im not. whether it's about the formalities or the conjugations. basically a whole lot of issues so please if u can help ＞︿＜

Hello! If your goal is to be able to understand Korean content without subtitles, then I think self-studying grammar and vocabulary is a good idea. I know you said you already have some knowledge of Korean, so I would refer to my masterlist and start from wherever you feel appropriate. I also recommend diversifying your study material and looking at other resources on Tumblr, YouTube, and on the Internet elsewhere. There's a lot out there!

As for your second question, I think it makes more sense to study vocab and grammar at the same time. As I've said before in previous asks, I was never that disciplined with my studying, so I can't really give you concrete study techniques. I think I got where I am today by regular exposure (on top of taking Korean courses and studying abroad lol). But if you don't have those opportunities, using whatever resources on the Internet can get you far. As you get comfortable with both grammar and vocab, I recommend exposing yourself to content like webtoons in Korean and K-dramas. These will help you with your reading and listening comprehension. There are plenty of webtoons at varying levels of difficulty, and K-drama actors have clear diction that is easy to understand. Again, I don't exactly have concrete techniques for how to eventually ween yourself off of subtitles/translations (since I myself still use them), but in my experience, exposure alone is enough to at least allow me to read webtoons and watch K-dramas without relying super heavily on the translations. Consuming this content will also teach you how natural Korean is spoken by natives. I hope that makes sense!

If you're concerned about speaking, the best way to get better is to converse with others. You might not know other people who speak Korean, but you can still practice with others for free on Hilokal, where I used to teach live lessons. It's a nice, low-pressure environment that can help you get more comfortable with speaking and learn alongside other people just like you!

Also, I generally don't recommend using translators to help you learn a language, especially if you're an English speaker learning Korean. It's more useful for you to understand the meaning of the Korean itself than it is for you to get the perfect translation. Korean is especially difficult to translate into English (in my opinion), so a translator might not give you a clean, accurate, and natural translation. Unfortunately, I can't think of other ways to fact-check your sentences otherwise lol. But I think that looking at enough sample sentences will help you become better at constructing your own. And something that helped me feel more comfortable writing and speaking when I was abroad is that, even if I make minor mistakes, chances are that other people can still understand me. Maybe keeping that in mind can make the learning process a little less stressful :)

Maybe this advice isn't new for you, but I hope it was still helpful! Thanks for the question and good luck! 화이팅!

#한국어 #korean langblr #korean #apok q&a #korean q&a #apok

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lokislittlesigyn · 6 months

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This past weekend I had .. A truly lovely experience. One that will stick with me forever, I believe.

Story time.

About a month ago I got an unexpected message that Tom Hiddleston would be at NYCC. I'd never heard of NYCC before - though I live within driving distance of NYC. I visited last year to see a Broadway play and visit the Loki figure at Madame Tussauds. But more, in 2019, my parents surprised me with tickets to see Betrayal on Broadway.

When we went to the show, I hoped to give Tom a letter, thanking him for the impact his work has had on my life, and get some art autographed. After the show - which was breathtaking and fantastic and funny and heartbreaking - I stood outside in the bitter cold and watched as Tom stayed outside for 2 hours talking to and autographing things for his fans. I distinctly remember saying his name and him looking me right in the eye - I asked if he'd take my letter. His response? "Of course I will." those words also stuck with me. spoken surely, as though kindness was deserved without question.

I got an autograph from him that day on my Playbill - they didn't allow non-Betrayal works to be signed. But I wanted, very badly, to see him again. Namely for a hug ... And to get that art signed.

In the spring of 2020 I heard about a drivable convention Tom was slated to be at. Tickets to see him were hundreds of dollars, but I was willing to pay.

Then the pandemic hit. Everything was cancelled.

Fast forward to last month. My birthday is coming up and I have no idea what to ask for, I have a steady job and I'm trying to give myself permission to buy fun things so I actually feel something when I get a paycheck. ive legit been getting money and just feeling nothing when it goes into my account. :')

And I did it. I bought a pass. An autograph pass, since the photo passes only allowed a few seconds with the individual - I wanted to talk even for a moment, not stand awkwardly while I try to make myself give a natural smile.

I'll spare you the details of the convention itself - it was huge, and while it was exciting, that wasn't the main draw. Tom was. I finished an art piece and had it printed, and took it with me to give to him. I also wrote a message on the back of it, so there was no risk of the message being lost (I don't know if he actually got my first letter. There's really no way to tell!). That message is private, but the art is not.

It took over two hours to get through the line. As someone with joint and sensory issues, this was .. Quite an experience. if i hadnt had my compression socks on i honestly dont think i would have made it. also i really need to look into what ADA passes they have because there is an ADA line and i continuously tell myself im not disabled enough for that but maybe i am, idk

But I got through the line and went around the corner where they had a curtained-off area, and there he was.

My first thought? "Oh, you're real."

its always surprising to see him in person.

But as happened before, the nervousness and excitement and heart beating out of my chest gave way to a quiet calm.

He took the piece I brought to be signed, and signed it. And I spoke up.

"I made this for you, if that's okay." And I handed him the above artwork.

He took it. Looked at it. "You're very talented."

I thanked him.

And he looked at me again.

Now, it's relevant to mention I am autistic. Eye contact is extremely difficult for me. It feels unsafe, exposed, scary. I can literally get physically unsettled if I look at someone's eyes too long. This man is the only person - not even my mother and father feel safe to look in the eye - that I can not just stand to look in the eye, but actually feel ... peaceful. i think it's because he has lokis eyes.

"Thank you. Have a good rest of your weekend."

He smiled at me, and I smiled back. I thanked him again.

It's a small interaction. It was in the last event on the last day of the con - this man was probably exhausted, and rightly so. I also want to be clear, I don't have any sort of parasocial feelings toward Tom, or even romantic/etc. feelings. Tom is his own person, with his own life and experiences, and I don't feel anything toward him other than a general fondness and gratitude. More importantly, he is married, a husband and a father, and that is so important to remember.

I'm simply grateful to him. Out of hundreds, possibly thousands of people over the weekend, he took a bit of time to look at the art, and say something kind, and to look at me and smile.

Photos weren't allowed in the area, or I would have wanted one. Likewise, there were tables between the attendees and him - I would've asked for a hug otherwise. But I don't regret the weekend, for all its ups and downs. I got to give Tom a present, and I know I'll see him again someday.

And maybe next time, I'll get that hug.

#for context i want to get as close to hugging loki as possible lol #i have hugged the madame tussauds figure #i have hugged disneyland loki #i have even hugged loki cosplayers #tom is the closest thing to loki that remains un-hugged by lokislittlesigyn #she will hug him someday #that is a threat /lh #i'll post the digital version of the art soon #<3 #nycc #nycc 2023 #tom hiddleston #storytime #sigyn goes on an adventure #sigyn loves loki a lot

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faela404 · 1 year

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☆The Library ☆

kazuha x gn! reader

prompt: - you and kazuha attend the same university, him being a english lit major and you being a person in stem😎 your paths never crossed until that day in the library…

*this is an smau so please do expect a lot of twitter posts and messages to read, there will be proper writing too but, it will mostly be that!!*

warning! this chapter involves mentions of self- neglect, possible eating disorders, insomnia, swearing, implications of inappropriate acts (though it never happened), mentions of anxiety and biblical references (kinda? idk jesus and the bible was mentioned in a lighthearted manner)

masterlist - prev | next

☆it was a mistake ☆

i’ve been sitting here, on my phone, for over 6 hours now. this isn’t good. i’ve forgotten to eat again.

i’ve never been too good at taking care of myself, most the time i’m too engrossed in what im doing to remember that i need to eat, drink or even use the bathroom. however, recently it’s been getting worse. before, i would be able to remember by atleast 7pm but lately, i’ve been having my dinners at 12am, sometimes even later.

i suppose i should be happy i remembered just before midnight this time, but i just don’t see it that way. to me, this is still a failure.

pulling myself out of the warm comfort of my bed below me, i wandered out towards the kitchen. we never tend to have much food in, with us being university students it can be hard to get enough money for such necessities. nonetheless, i managed to find a packet of chicken super noodles (if you don’t know what these are or don’t eat chicken, just read it as your favourite type of instant noodles😌). careful i pulled open the bag and dumped the contents out into my bowl, along with the flavoured powder and some hot water from the kettle, before putting this in the microwave.

after finishing my noodles and placing the bowl in the sink to wash up another day, i once again returned to the comfort of my bed and bright phone screen.

i didn’t get to bed until 3:49am.

i woke up too late, again.

i’m going to be in so much trouble.

i wish my class wasn’t so small, then maybe the professor wouldn’t notice me as i slip through the door and attempt to make my way to my seat.

we’re doing lab work.

she notices me.

“how lovely of you to finally join us, y/n” god did she have to say it so loud. i feel so many eyes on me but, i can’t falter. i try my hardest to ignore them as she continues to speak.

“please stay behind once class is finished y/n, we need to talk” she sounds so smug. i give a curt nod and quickly scurry to my lab partner.

i must look disheveled, i can feel how red my face is, the sweat dripping down my neck- getting caught on the neckline of my shirt. mascara from yesterday is sure to be lining the underneath of my eyes.

my lab partner, lumine, looks worried. however, she seems to ignore my disgusting outward appearance as she begins to explain the experiment to me, giving me time to write down her words and the results.

class wraps up quickly. everyone begins to shuffle out, talking to eachother of their weekend plans, but not me.

i make my way towards professor ningguang. she looks angry but, she doesn’t shout.

“i did warn you there would be consequences if you was absent again, didn’t i?”

i’m so nervous, i’ve never gotten into trouble before.

“yes, professor but, i wasn’t able to get much sleep i’ve haven’t been able to-“

she cuts me off. she’s angrier than she’s letting on.

“i don’t have time for your excuses, y/n. you have been late 5 times in the past 2 weeks, that is completely unacceptable. however, with only 3 weeks left of school before winter break, i can’t give you the standard punishment for a disobedience such as this. instead, you will help out the librarian. ms. lisa has been complaining recently of the mess the library has become. for the next 3 weeks, you will go to the library after school and clean it until there isn’t a spec of dust left, do i make myself clear?”

im not sure if it was the nerves or the fear of her telling me this in such a calm way, but i made no move to object. i simply nodded and left as she dismissed me.

it wasn’t until i got back to my dorm that it truly sank in.

are. you. fucking. kidding. me?!

clean the library? everyday? for 3 weeks?!

i suppose it could be worse, but come on! i have a life, i have homework! i can’t dedicate every evening to cleaning a stupid library!

god, this is going to be miserable.

a/n - ahhhh this was so fun to create! i can’t wait for ya’ll to see the next part! i hope you enjoyed this and will enjoy the rest of the series! take care of yourselves <3

taglist- open! @kazuhaprnt

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toothpastecanyon · 2 months

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Hi! I’d like to start with the fact that your writing is PHENOMENAL, the way every first chapter is designed to grab the readers attention, with a mystery or a cozy little opening, establishing where the character is in life and their motives, or a sneak peek at the problem the characters must overcome.

I’m really bad at articulating my thoughts, but ur characters are really well written and I’d like to make more fanart of them, but I’m not quite sure what they look like.

(The only fics of your la that i KNOW you wrote are Unto Dust, and The Comfort of Agony (both of which are really good btw, I also love how you write existing characters, and your portrayal of them(especially Lucy Ann))

Anyway, because there are so many interpretations of species used in TAU, I got a little mixed up on what the non-human characters look like.

Darceus- in Lucy Ann and the Lunch Bunch, there is a Kitsune named Felicity, who is described as “looking a kind of like a human, and kind of like a fox” which my interpretation of is shown below. I forgot that that isn’t typical for kitsune characters in tau (even though she’s the only one since yours) and drew her in a similar way. ( also, are there any distinctive features on her nieces?) btw the LION idea is phenomenal, also do you think she has a mane? They’re fun to draw.

June- how big is she? I assumed she was the size of a human based on her interactions, but then I realized she might be looking down of people because she can fly. But then I remembered that it says she walks around. So then I confused myself. Also, skin tone, hair color/texture, eyes?

Beatrice- SHE IS SO WELL WRITTEN I felt genuinely angry while reading her meeting with Lucy Ann (in a good way) and she seems like someone you would meet in real life, totally obnoxious! Also, I don’t really know how TAU elves usually look so, idk anything about her skin tone or hair or eyes.

Here are pictures of my doodles in case you want to take a look, try to ignore the paper texture please.

Also, an old picture of Felicity:

Sorry if any of this is worded weird, im not that good at talking, but could you please give a solid description of the major/cool characters in Unto Dust?

(And in case I didn’t say it before, the Comfort of Agony is SO WELL WRITTEN there is too much for me to say about it!)

Oh wow, this is all so kind of you to say! Thank you so much - I'm so glad to hear you enjoy my writing, and I love the sketches you've done! You already have a lot of great designs and the characters look super expressive!

It's really exciting to be asked more of what my characters look like and I'll give you the best description I can, but I do want to note I often don't have a clear idea of what my characters look like - I like that writing lets a reader come up with their own spins on what a character looks like! So while I'm adding my own interpretation of my characters here, if you have a different idea you think works better or just looks cooler to you, I say go for it!

I'll organise my thoughts by each character:

Darceus: I was definitely inspired by @feferipeixes' character Felicity to make a kitsune character! I really like the mane idea you have going in your sketches, and female lions do occasionally grow manes! I like the way you've drawn her formal attire, with the nine tails spread out behind her like a sort of cape! You really brought her to life!

I probably still imagine her with a fox's colouration - I liked the lion imagery to evoke the broader facial features and just overall stockier build than an average kitsune.

The nieces: They're probably both young adults of average height. I don't have a clear idea of what they look like, but it might be fun to draw them as a different type or species of fox - silver foxes look really pretty with distinctive markings! They probably have less tails than Darceus, maybe three or so.

June: I definitely had the idea of her being average sized - I think writing it from Lucy Ann's perspective makes her seem taller as a lot of characters have to look down on her (sorry Lucy Ann!). I really like the wings you drew for her! She's a middle-aged lady with a little grey in her red hair, and probably likes wearing a lot of running gear - gotta train for that 10K!

Beatrice: I really like the long ears you've given her, that looks super distinctive! The loose t-shirt is really good. I probably imagine her with more of a pear shaped build with dark brown eyes and hair. If she does magic like in her appearances with Noie I like to think it'd look a lot how Mod V's elf OC Florian does it.

Also I definitely am looking for Lucy Ann to start wearing a glove! I'm not sure whether it would be fun to have it be a red glove to match the rest of her outfit, or if it's black or some other clashing colour to illustrate how she sees it as something unwanted and forced upon her.

That's all I can think of, but if you'd like anything more specific I'd be more than happy to help! Thank you again for this ask and your awesome sketches - if you end up drawing anything else I'd really love to see it!

Have a great day! :D

#transcendence au #lucy ann #this made my day!#toothasks #beatrice delion #worldbuilding #Dinner Crew

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trickstarbrave · 7 months

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wip whenever

i got tagged by @boethiahspillowbook so here are some wips. art and writing are both okay!!! idk who hasnt been tagged yet so. anyone who reads this and wants to can consider it a tag

first up:

i started shading azura!!! still needs some more work and tweaking. but i rly like her expression (again pardon the nerevar gore he is kinda dead)

also a lil bit of writing!! its not much but. heres from moon and star

moraelyn is such a weird figure. most of the stuff we get is a novel from daggerfall. what the fuck is a witch-king. why are they riding on akatosh. whatever im just gonna make his shit up myself

Of course word would get back to Almalexia. Of course it would. Nerevar hadn’t expected anything less, though he was a bit surprised at how quickly she summoned him.

At least this time it wasn’t in front of her throne in chains. That he didn’t enjoy whatsoever.

Ayem gave him a beaming smile the moment he walked into the meeting room. She wasn’t alone--there were several guards present, as well as a chimer in armor emblazoned with a rose motif, alongside a few guards wearing armor that definitely did not belong to House Indoril.

“My, I see you really were named hortator of House Dagoth.” She referred to the necklace he was wearing, the collar emblazoned with the seal of House Dagoth. When Voryn first showed it to Nerevar he honestly thought it was a… Personal gift of sorts, until he revealed it was the necklace House Dagoth presented to all of their hortators.

“I am.” Nerevar answered. “If you want to talk more about that though, Voryn should probably be present.” A few guards looked flustered seeing how casually Nerevar called a noble by his first name. The man in the rose armor also shifted slightly, gasping as though offended. Almalexia, however, continued to smile politely.

“It isn’t for that.” She remarked, motioning for Nerevar to take a seat. Hesitantly Nerevar did so, sitting across from her.

“What did you need then, your Majesty?”

She hummed softly, closing her eyes as she seemed to be thinking over how to say it, the smile never leaving her lips.

“You are quite the asset in war, Nerevar Mora.” She began. “You were able to rescue the head of House Dagoth with very few men. Not to mention I know just how well you can handle yourself in combat from experience…”

“Is there another mission you wish to send me on?” He asked, keeping his face neutral. At his question her lips curled up into a polite, politician’s smile.

“House Mora has once again requested the liberation of their home city, Ebonheart.” Ebonheart… A city that as the nerevarine he never got a chance to visit. Honestly he wanted to; it had a rich history, not just from the first era either. At that, the man in the rose armor removed his helmet, revealing long, flowing white hair and a serious expression. Honestly, he looked like he’d rather not be there at all.

“I am Moraelyn Ra’athim.” He said, his eyes looking over Nerevar skeptically. “The nords ousted my clan from our ancestral home, the seat of power for the Mora clan.” He then cleared his throat slightly. “If you are truly the man who her Majesty claims you are…” Nerevar’s eyebrow twitched at the doubt in his voice. “... I would like to ask for assistance from you and your men to liberate my home.”

Moraelyn looked like he was being degraded having to ask Nerevar for help. If Almalexia wasn’t present, he would have rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to act like asking was just as painful as pulling teeth.

Instead, Nerevar turned his attention to Almalexia. She wouldn’t have called this meeting without good reason; Ebonheart hadn’t been liberated yet, for good reason. It was the current seat of power for the nords. It would be a risky move attacking them where they would be the strongest. Then again, based on what Voryn has been saying, Wulfharth hasn’t been staying in Ebonheart much at all. Three of his sons have instead taken up residence in the large, nordic style manor that was constructed, and were managing supplies and soldiers.

Almalexia’s polite smile had shifted to one laced with danger. Almost snake-like and cunning, venom behind her teeth. Not directed towards Nerevar--not this time. Unlike so many times in his past life, he knew this one was not meant for him. Instead she looked eager for battle, forced to stay behind.

“If you can do this,” Almalexia began, “House Indoril will also name you Hortator.”

There it was.

The rest of the room went deathly silent. No one had been Hortator of more than one house--but she wasn’t asking him to throw aside his position with House Dagoth. Instead she was giving him even more power, now the backing of two Great Houses. It was already bold enough that he was named Hortator of House Dagoth without being a proper member of the house; but Hortator of two major powers?

Nerevar steeled himself, his facade not cracking.

“If this is what you will ask of me,” Nerevar gave a polite smile back. “How could I refuse?”

#my writing #my art #wip #azura #indoril nerevar #nerevar #moon and star spoilers

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thesherrinfordfacility · 3 months

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six months on (albeit, a bit late) part 1/3

part one | part two | epilogue (at some point)

hello would you like a stupid-length run down of the final fifteen?

idk about anyone else, but i kinda find myself regularly in a position where i don't know what to think about the final fifteen. i flit from one explanation or opinion to another; there have been so many facets of this sequence discussed that ive even found myself turned around on what i actually think was going on... was aziraphale threatened? did he do a complete 180 on his character development throughout both seasons? does he genuinely buy what metatron is telling him? how does he take crowley's rejection to return to heaven with him?

so back to basics, and because im itching to stretch the meta-writing legs that isn't solely an ask response or a purely batshit speculation - and because throughout writing this, i anticipate that i might surprise myself on how, overall, i interpret the whole scene... going back to basics and simply rewatching the scene (and making copious notes) is in order! just don't expect this to be anything you've necessarily not seen before - there are no revelations in this post.

please also note that this is an incredibly long, winding, and abhorrently lengthy post. no im not actually sorry about it, i needed to write it all out for my own bloody sanity

shall we begin?

so first thing's first: metatron saying his first line as he did indicates that aziraphale has expressed some hesitation. might be his body language, or possibly he's even said as such - something along the lines of, 'id need to discuss it with crowley', or something as simple as, 'im not sure, i need to think'. either way, aziraphale certainly responds to the metatron in a way that would suggest he is excited... but definitely incredulous and nervous.

and as for the metatron terming it as 'good news'; he seems to think that he and aziraphale are on the same page, that they hold the same opinion on whatever they've talked about. given what he later says about crowley, however - plus the borderline-disparaging remarks about going his own way, the Evil Glare™, and how quickly he just accepts that crowley isn't going - suggest that he a) doesn't want crowley in heaven, and b) that he anticipates that crowley will, in fact, consider the offer to return to heaven as very much Bad News Bears, and summarily reject it.

aziraphale starts making his way back to the bookshop, and boy do those expressions tell a story. that is not a happy angel. as soon as he steps off the pavement, his face falls, and his brow tightens in nerves, worry, and possibly even confusion; that to me is a, 'how the fuck am i going to explain this, how am i even going to word it?'. there's a quick, fortifying breath, and he's squaring the shoulders just as he moves out of frame. getting fanciful, that is an angel that is practically steeling himself to do battle; he knows crowley isn't going to like this, knows that it's going to be a hard sell. but what is key is that he does all of this walking away from the metatron, where he can't see - if nothing else, it's a very different expression to the 'excitement' he showed just seconds earlier.

but then he gets into the bookshop, and that expression is gone. for whatever reason, he doesn't want crowley to see it either. he doesn't want crowley to see anything less than joy, confidence, or excitement - he doesn't want to let crowley see that something is wrong/amiss. we then see the metatron, after establishing that muriel might be an adequate replacement to look after the bookshop, look across the street and presumably have a clear view of the two of them in the shop itself.

now, let's talk about crowley for a sec. crowley is equally nervous, and we can presume that it stems from the conversation with nina and maggie - that he needs to start opening communication with aziraphale, especially if anything is to move forward... and the best place to start, we presume (because, ultimately, we don't know for certain what he was going to say or how he was going to word it in this moment) is to propose that he and aziraphale - if nothing else - truly become an 'us'. maybe there's a love confession in there, maybe not. regardless, he's fidgety, but resolute; he even swipes off his glasses to show how committed he is to diving headfirst into this vulnerability that he otherwise keeps under wraps.

aziraphale, whilst crowley is word-vomiting, is immediately starting off with hand movements to get him to slow down, to quieten down, or stop talking altogether. as he does so, he's looking right back out of the shop window, as if he's aware of metatron's reciprocal gaze in. he's doing so with a pretty sincere smile on his face, and that to me is saying a couple of things:

aziraphale, i think, from the moment he set foot in the shop and saw nina and maggie coming back out, possibly already knew where crowley was going with the conversation. he's just watched as crowley practically offered up alpha centauri to gabriel and beelzebub as a refuge, somewhere he's already expressed that he and aziraphale could go to escape the apocalypse. so; to aziraphale's mind, in crowley doing so, a) crowley has chosen to remain on earth come what may - otherwise he'd have kept his chosen prospective bolthole quiet, and b) in the context where crowley offers it to them, as a safe place for two hereditary enemies just like them to love each other in peace, aziraphale recognises that that might have been what crowley wanted for them too. ergo, to my mind, crowley's confession is not necessarily a surprise to aziraphale - i daresay he likely saw it coming

aziraphale does not jump in straight away to interrupt crowley, and nor does he do it with any harsh or abrupt language. he wants to revisit this conversation - literally the meaning of 'hold that thought' - but what he has to say takes precedence. and to be fair, depending on how we interpret the preceding scene with the metatron (and what is revealed in the flashback conversation), it is arguably a more pressing matter to discuss, especially if it concerns their respective safeties... but it's a conversation he wants to return to

that being said, if aziraphale does know that the confession is inbound, the fact that he would treat it as somewhat of a joking matter - especially given how uncomfortable and fervent crowley's own demeanour is - is a bit... nasty? aziraphale has definitely, on previous occasions, expressed flashes of superiority over crowley, but i don't think this is a situation where he does feel superior... not at all. instead, again, considering how he quickly cheers up his expression when he enters the shop, this to me is aziraphale trying to mask his own discomfort, panic, and worry. he's keeping this whole thing as light and airy as he possibly can.

we then move on to aziraphale telling crowley he has some "incredibly good news" to give him... which, okay, sure, it might be that aziraphale is anticipating it to be good news. but again, the expression outside the shop? if he was that confident that crowley would be jumping for joy at the merest suggestion of returning to heaven, the conflicted expressions of worry and trepidation would, presumably, not have happened. so, i once again can only take this line to be aziraphale trying to dress it up with excitement. and i say dress it up because... we've seen aziraphale beside himself with excitement, right? and this is not it. this (first two snips) is aziraphale being giddy with excitement, or at least a job well done, not the latter clip:

aziraphale is barely able to get the words out properly after this point, he's nigh incoherent, and his hand movements indicate he's practically frantic... someone who normally, even when nervous or uncomfortable, keeps his hands quite close to his body, clasped comfortingly in front of him or stiff at his sides. we then furthermore have what he seems to mouth in the midst of this flurry of movement and mumbling, which, yes, is speculation but i rather much stand by it so far... and as such, seems to match his expression outside of the bookshop of, 'what the fuck am i going to say'.

also worth noting, to his credit, that crowley is being remarkably patient throughout all of this - i think he potentially does recognise that something is amiss? the 'somethings wrong' voice? recognises that despite himself being interrupted from something really quite important, aziraphale is evidently... not himself.

what intrigues me however, before we get into the meat of aziraphale and metatron's conversation, is how aziraphale words this particular bit:

because aziraphale catches himself before he says something potentially rather offensive, and then turns it back on himself. for example: "i don't think he's as bad a fellow as he came across", or "-as we thought he was", compared to aziraphale then backtracking and owning that it was his fault, "i think i might have misjudged him!".

what does it matter if he calls out the metatron for having been an arse in s1? it was a perfectly fair assessment to make, by all accounts, and presumably one that he and crowley had a laugh/bitch over post-s1... why would he recount that particular line? it wouldn't change the sentiment, ultimately - that aziraphale is trying to convey to crowley that the metatron 'is actually kind of alright!' - and it's not like crowley would be offended either way... so, are we to assume that even if the metatron can't hear what he's saying (although i have further speculation on this too, by the by, but this is a little more tentative) aziraphale perhaps fears that he can? in much the same way that he only let his expression truly slip once his back was turned, out on the street?

but then we move onto the offer itself, and the conversation between him and the metatron. aziraphale starts getting into his stride, probably because now he's just simply recounting what actually happened, all supported by the flashbacks we get. aziraphale isn't having to lie, as far as we can tell - he's simply going over the conversation he had. let's break that down:

aziraphale initially seems quite relaxed to be sat opposite metatron, insomuch that he doesnt look overly tense. frankly, he just looks bored, wanting to get this over and done with, likely so he can head back to the bookshop and be left in peace. as he said before they left; he has made his position clear, he wants nothing to do with heaven (at least as it currently is), and this is just a courtesy, to hear out whatever the voice of god has to say. of course, metatron then blindsides aziraphale by saying that - of course - the only option to replace gabriel must be aziraphale.

what is noteworthy is how aziraphale says, "and i said... "me?!"... and he said-". because when we cut back to the flashback, aziraphale's expression has not changed at all. there's no excitement, but more just bafflement and shock... and not one that indicates he's in any way enthusiastic about the idea. the fact that aziraphale chooses to recount that particular 'me?!' the way he does to crowley suggests that he's, quite possibly, putting it on, playing the part, and deliberately overstating his initial reaction - almost like he's trying to hype crowley up in turn. furthermore - aside from all the handwaving and nervous huffs of laughter - aziraphale does not even blink throughout this whole spiel to crowley. just an observation.

metatron gives his bullshit rationalisation for choosing aziraphale - and i say bullshit because from their last interaction in s1, aziraphale arguably did not display much of the qualities that metatron purports he has... if any at all - and aziraphale visibly starts to subtly panic. there's the glance away, his shoulders stiffen, he swallows nervously, breathes heavily. when aziraphale does speak, it's immediately to declare that he doesn't want the position, doesn't want to go back to heaven full stop (very reminiscent of his reaction to the promotion offer in the cut 1800 scene), and gives the excuse of the coffee.

metatron then brings out Les Big Guns. before the metatron says anything else, and without so much as a hint from aziraphale, metatron oh so casually remarks that aziraphale would have the final say on who he works with. he already anticipates that aziraphale's hang-up about going back to heaven may not be in fact the coffee, and tbh may not in fact be anything to do with earth itself, but everything to do with crowley remaining on earth. crowley is however a demon, and in his current form would not be able to go to heaven (which in turn begs another observation - does metatron not know that crowley infiltrated heavily pretty easily earlier in the episode?... hmm).

as such, the obvious solution for the metatron is to drop the fact that he probably knows a lot more about aziraphale and crowley's historic dealings with each other than would otherwise be anticipated. he mentions that he has had the chance to peruse over... recordings? reports? photos? that show the span of aziraphale's relationship with crowley - and unspokenly suggests that he knows everything. and then he offers a very neat, tidy solution to that small 'hes a demon' snag. he tells aziraphale he would have the authority to restore crowley, so he could come with him.

aziraphale, whilst metatron is revealing the scope of his intelligence gathering, looks like he's about to burst into tears. to me? that is horror, and fear - like a frightened animal being suddenly backed into a corner. his eyes start darting everywhere, his face - especially his jaw - tenses, and he looks like he's about to leg it out of his chair at any given moment. and namely, once metatron tells him he could restore crowley to being an angel, we don't see aziraphale's resultant expression at all. it immediately cuts back to the bookshop.

why would aziraphale fear metatron knowing everything about him and crowley? this isn't clear. it may simply be residue fear, muscle memory, from years gone by where their association has had to exist in utmost secret. alternatively, it might be that aziraphale is not comfortable in the knowledge that not only does metatron want something from him (to return to heaven), but that metatron has very accurately landed on aziraphale's pressure point (crowley). this is what i mean when i say, as i have in previous posts, that i don't think there's a missing, overt threat from the metatron that we've not been shown, but that aziraphale feels threatened.

compare this to nearly every spy movie you've ever seen - you want someone to do something for you, but they're resistant? just casually drop that you know that their partner has just had a new haircut, or that their child looked happy going into school that morning, or that their parent is struggling to pay for their medical bills... it's sufficient information enough to instill a sense of peril without being an unclassy, hamfisted, overt threat.

my last thought on the flashbacks; as was said brilliantly in this post (@fearandhatred), i don't think the flashbacks were disingenuous, and i don't believe that there are gaps missing that will be revealed in s3. but i do think that there are some key things that aziraphale might not have actually told crowley in his recount of the conversation. crowley responds in his next line specifically to the offer of restoration... so, did aziraphale even tell him about the metatron knowing all about them? their "de facto partnership", their "previous exploits"? because personally, i don't think he did. once again - the narrative irony that we as the audience have the full story, but crowley potentially does not.

but anyway; back to the bookshop.

...okay, aziraphale. right. i mean, first of all, crowley is just as taken aback, shocked, and incredulous as aziraphale seems to have been during the flashbacks. but aziraphale? everything has slowed down, almost calmed, like the eye of the storm has passed over. he almost looks less manic, less (frankly) deranged, and seems to actually be settling in the fact that the offer itself might actually be a good thing - something that crowley might in fact want. it's still not quite right, he's still not quite acting in a way that makes me think aziraphale's being entirely forthcoming with crowley.

the way he says that crowley could "come back" is soft and gentle, as if he's granting the most amazing, positively astounding opportunity - that heaven is doing something that it has never (as far as we or aziraphale, presumably, is aware) done before, and welcoming crowley back... like it's equal parts forgiveness towards crowley for having done whatever he did (im deliberately trying to keep this concept very vague and objective), and apology to crowley for a punishment that far outweighed any possible 'crime' he could have committed... like heaven is attempting to make reparations for what they did to him in the fall.

putting this outside the main body because it's another slight tangent. we know that crowley being good, nice, and/or kind is not necessarily indicative that crowley should or ought to be an angel. there are shades of grey. however, i do think aziraphale... still has issues with that. still has issues with aligning what he thinks good is, how intrinsically important being good is to him, and then where crowley sits in the midst of all of it - almost like aziraphale accepts that he himself may be in the grey, accepts his shortcomings, but where crowley is concerned aziraphale readily glosses over a number of his... not-so-nice bits. this might stem from aziraphale believing that it's more palatable to love crowley if he believes him to essentially be an angel in all but name, but i don't think it's quite that. more that aziraphale maybe thinks that 'good' is the ideal to hold, that heaven is the place that was meant to be good, and that crowley himself is good... so... well, isn't it the logical conclusion that crowley would want to return to heaven?

so going back to this bit of the scene: i don't think aziraphale ever wanted crowley to revert back to factory settings, never even considered the notion, nor necessarily thought that crowley would be better as an angel... but instead perhaps that being an angel again is what crowley would want. that it would be nothing more, really, than a rubber stamp in his personnel file. i think aziraphale was simply remembering the angel that was joyful in creating, surrounded himself in the exaltation of imagining new and wonderful things, bringing them to life; why wouldn't, in its most basic essence, aziraphale want that for crowley again? for crowley to be back where - as far as aziraphale likely remembers - he was at his happiest? and if he has the power to give it, like the metatron said, isn't that the greatest gift aziraphale could ever bestow upon him?

if we accept, as the whole final fifteen scene is intimating pretty strongly thus far, that aziraphale is trying to keep his panic and fear about the whole situation under wraps from crowley, it simultaneously makes sense that he would offer this to crowley as if he's saying:

'here's a wonderful thing that im pretty certain you've always wanted; please, just this once, don't ask questions about anything else, please just concentrate on this, i can handle everything else. just please say yes to coming back with me, i need you to come back. you can be happy, and i can sort out heaven, so that one day we can just simply walk away and never have to look over our shoulders. i'm scared, but i don't really have a choice, and tbh im even more scared what might happen if i leave you behind.'

but as metatron, i think, clearly anticipates, and as i think aziraphale truthfully does too as he first heads into the bookshop, this was never going to be something that crowley would accept. it's not something crowley wants. crowley - for whatever reason (again, in the absence of knowing anything concrete about the fall, keeping this deliberately vague) - was rejected by heaven in the most literal sense possible. slapping him with an angel stamp and dressing him in a white suit means nothing of value to him, and is the furthest from what he wants; in fact, actually, if anything, it's the biggest insult he could be afforded. because what has suddenly made him redeemable, palatable, 'forgiveable', in the eyes of heaven? nothing; just that he's a pawn in whatever bargain the metatron is trying to strike with aziraphale... and from crowley's pov, aziraphale has agreed to using him as a game piece. it doesn't confer value onto crowley, if anything it reduces it; in this equation, even if he were to accept the offer, he'd essentially be nothing more than a negotiated benefit for aziraphale to take the job.

(and that's all assuming that restoration would in fact mean crowley gets to continue being him, albeit in fancy white clothes - when there's the very real possibility that, if restoration as a concept even exists at all, heaven would just wipe him and set him off from ground zero all over again. aziraphale seems to have taken the metatron's word for it; that restoration even exists, that aziraphale would have the power to do it, and that it would mean he gets to keep crowley exactly as he is).

at which point... crowley knows that aziraphale didn't turn down the offer in the metaphorical room - "and you told him just where he could stick it, then?"... he's hopeful, possibly, but his expression suggests that he fully anticipates that aziraphale has bought into the crock of shit that metatron has spun him. that aziraphale took the job on the provision that crowley could join him, which crowley points out to be beneath the both of them, "oh, we're better than that- you're better than that, angel!".

aziraphale however, as explained above, sees it as being the best, safest, most opportune option for them both to take; "not at all", said with the tone of surprise that it is, suggests that aziraphale didn't ever consider the possibility of saying no, maybe because he feels that he can't, and never thought that crowley would say no, either. along with the surprise tone however, he says it with a very tense expression - the smile has frozen, and his tense are gritted. it might be that he genuinely thought that crowley would say yes, or because - again, if he's in fear of being overheard - he's worried about the implications of what crowley has just said.

crowley goes on to rant that he turned down hell when beelzebub made a very similar offer to crowley in ep1 (which, by the by, he... didn't. for whatever reason, crowley did not say no, nor any variant of a refusal, to beelzebub), and aziraphale remarks that that's a given, as "you're the bad guys".

now... i wince at this particular line every time i watch the final fifteen, as im sure everyone else does, but i don't think it's - at all - meant in the way that crowley likely receives it. certainly not in the way that the majority of the audience seems to have received it.

im not set to diminish or invalidate, on crowley's part, how it must feel to hear aziraphale still consider him a 'bad guy', simply because he's a demon. but from aziraphale's perspective, crowley is a demon, and demons are of hell. hell are not the good guys, as a collective - as has been proven time and time again - and, well, if heaven are meant to be the good guys, hell are by process of elimination the bad guys. once again, aziraphale arrives a rather binary conclusion of good vs. evil.

but equally consider that this is also the aziraphale that regularly compliments crowley on his niceness and his good deeds. that same aziraphale does not think of crowley as 'a bad guy'. he is blunt that crowley is of hell, who are the collective bad guys, because hell is the bad side to the heaven that was meant to be the good side. and as said above - crowley is good! he's a good person! he might be a demon, of hell, but he belongs on the side of good! which leads to this lovely little number:

throughout this whole part of their discussion, aziraphale has presented as more and more sure, less panicky and nervous - because i think this is something that he absolutely believes. he might have initially not wanted anything to do with heaven, but now? with the possibility that crowley could join him? suddenly then it's viable... lucrative, even - that he could fix heaven, that crowley could help him do it, they'd be together, and they'd get their happy, safe ending. his expression on "good" would suggest his confusion that crowley doesn't appear to share the same opinion - sure, heaven is shit now, but it was always meant to be good, right?* doesn't crowley see that?

crowley, however, justifiably illustrates that, the way he sees it (and has been demonstrated by the narrative), both sides are as flawed and redundant as each other; aziraphale can be as optimistic as he likes that heaven is redeemable, is fixable, but all crowley can see is that both are so inherently awful, so rotten to the very foundation, that there is no saving them... heaven least of all, for being the side that purports itself to be good. hell, at least, is aware of its very nature; heaven is insidious, and doesn't even have the good grace to acknowledge it, instead chalking it up to being god's will, and therefore whatever they do must be good.

and with that, i think crowley simultaneously starts to really panic - knowing that he's losing aziraphale - and yet hopes against all hope that he's gotten through to him, changed his mind, and begins pleading with him to tell him the exact thing he wants to hear; 'this is a bad idea, please don't do this, please-'

aziraphale is visibly struggling to even collect his thoughts, to even find the words to summarise why he's going to do this. simultaneously, aziraphale is dumbfounded. i think part of that is because he recognises the truth in what crowley is saying, but i also think that he's now in a position where his plan to get crowley to come with him has failed, and he's at a loss for what to do - what to say - next. he looks from crowley, looks out the window, his mouth is working to try and say something, even looks down at his feet, before coming up with the best way he can to explain why he's doing this. "if im in charge... i can make a difference."

*because once again (i'll die on this hill), i don't think aziraphale thinks that heaven as it currently is, is something that is good, light, or truth... but that heaven's intended purpose was to be those things, and is what heaven in essence stands for... irrespective of whoever is in charge. aziraphale has no allegiance to heaven as it currently is. michael, uriel, sandalphon, gabriel when he was supreme archangel - all of them have corrupted heaven to be something that it was never meant to be. but aziraphale has to believe that heaven itself is redeemable, has to believe that there is something salvageable; if it weren't, does that mean that aziraphale in turn is not either of those things too? does that mean that aziraphale is not good? heaven is capable of great things, that could benefit everyone involved; so couldn't aziraphale, from all of the experience he's gained, do something to make heaven exactly that?

it doesn't mean that aziraphale is any more correct for this more nuanced assumption, but i think it poses there is a very fine line in aziraphale's thinking. to my mind, aziraphale is not backtracking on the entirety of what he's learnt since the beginning, he's not suddenly heaven's man again - but instead is recognising that heaven is broken as it currently is... and that he could potentially fix it. if anything, that recognition that what he thought was faultless actually needs fixing, and that he may be able to do it, because it's the right thing to do... is exactly the character development i was expecting? an angel who has himself been rejected time and time again for being who he is, without even the finality of falling, could actually be the key to making heaven something worthy of the name.

he has to take that opportunity, to be that change, but he doesn't want to leave crowley to do so. not only because, of course, he simply loves crowley and wants both, but if he does leave crowley, what could happen to crowley without aziraphale being in a position to protect him? what, for me, it all boils down to is that aziraphale thinks going to heaven is the right thing to do, but only entertained it seriously when a) crowley's name, and their relationship, was casually mentioned in a way that felt like metatron would use it as leverage, and b) crowley could potentially come with him. ultimately, the fact remains that crowley more important to him than heaven is.

let's return to the specific wording of 'make a difference'. it's... fairly neutral, right? make a difference for whom? what kind of difference? the difference that metatron was talking about, or the difference that, in the most idealistic scenario possible, aziraphale and crowley both would probably want to happen? it's carefully worded - and coupled with eeeeverything that i've said about how aziraphale acts with the metatron, how he was hiding his expression as he entered the shop, and then how aziraphale seems to backtrack on bitch-talking the metatron... look, i don't necessarily buy that aziraphale is trying to speak in a riddle or code that he knows crowley would understand, but i do wonder if he's now hoping that crowley will read between the lines. he can't outright tell crowley his suspicions, and was possibly trying to get crowley to come with him in a way that wouldn't alert crowley to anything amiss whatsoever... but now? now that crowley is resisting? he has to edge slightly closer towards transparency.

in the hypothetical scenario that aziraphale is fearful that they may be overheard, or observed, aziraphale has to be careful. he has to word whatever he says in such a way that he appears to be heaven's man, that he genuinely wants to take the opportunity to run heaven and the 'enormous projects' that are in planning, in a way that doesn't disclose to the metatron that aziraphale is in any way suspicious of him. to crowley, however, he has to convey that he isn't heaven's man, that he wants to change things that would mean that it be for the better, and do all of that whilst not alerting crowley that there may be danger. 'make a difference' suddenly has a double-meaning, because for whose benefit does aziraphale truly want to change things?

crowley then, bless his heart, bravely launches into his confession that he tried to start at the beginning, and i think he does so in an effort to be completely transparent on why he needs aziraphale to stay - an effort to convince him to remain with crowley for no other reason than that he wants to be with him... and now? now he's not even sure it'll work. he's tried demonstrating where heaven isn't worth the effort, to no avail, so now he's going for full vulnerability mode. honestly, what a trooper, he was so so brave

aziraphale throughout the confession is practically motionless. the manic energy has disappeared, and from the subtle flickers in his expression, i think he saw this coming - saw it coming from the moment that he saw crowley offer up alpha centauri to gabriel and beelzebub, and saw nina and maggie very surreptitiously leave the bookshop. i think to some degree, aziraphale knew at least the nature of what crowley was going to say, and as a result, he gets very nervous:

at the sheer mention of "group", aziraphale pointedly (to me, anyway) looks out of the window. generally, he looks shifty - avoiding eye contact, eyes flickering, heavy breathing - but it's so deliberate that he looks out of the window where, we can surmise, is the general environs of where the metatron is still waiting. again - the metatron saying "de facto partnership", and all of his allusions to knowing the true nature and extent of aziraphale's association with crowley, seems all the more sinister if this line - "a team- a group!" - is specifically when aziraphale's eyes betray his concern. i don't think he's necessarily scared that the metatron will overhear this bit, because ultimately the metatron has intimated that he already knows this, but crowley is, potentially, and very much unknowingly, placing them in even more danger by vocalising the exact nature of what he and aziraphale feel for each other.

i also want to remark on aziraphale's look of confusion when crowley says, "spent our existence pretending that we aren't". ive had many a thought on why aziraphale would look so perplexed, and only one kind of makes sense to me - that actually, within the last few years, aziraphale... wasn't pretending at all. crowley told him that they were on their own side in tadfield, something that may have taken a while, but ultimately aziraphale in the "so did i" demonstrates that he was fully on board with, and he's now spent a good portion of s2 trying to make 'their side' all the more meaningful... crowley was no longer going too fast for him, but instead he was trying to show crowley that he had caught up - felt free enough to match his speed.

that, for me, would make sense with crowley's next line, where he himself clarifies that actually, no - the last couple of years they weren't pretending like they were before. something changed after armageddon, and that was that they both were removed enough from heaven and hell that they could finally explore what 'us' might mean for them. crowley is consistently taken aback by what aziraphale intended to be overtures of closeness and adoration - the frequent touching, the bentley, the ball - because aziraphale was trying to demonstrate it with actions, rather than words. crowley previously showed aziraphale how he felt about him - the rescues, the dinners, the books - and aziraphale was trying to speak to him in a language that he thought crowley would understand.

but crowley then plays the card that he played before, and that even under better circumstances aziraphale would never accept; "if gabriel and beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can!". aziraphale didn't accept it - however much he might have selfishly, privately wanted to - in s1 under threat of armageddon, and it's certainly not an option now when the metatron is literally outside the door. again, if we accept that aziraphale has read the conversation he had with the metatron as some kind of subtle threat, legging it is absolutely not an option he can take. on one hand, he might not want to; aziraphale typically chooses, when his back is against the wall, to fight his way out, to push back. on the other... it's the same as the bandstand; where could they possibly go where heaven won't find them? if they even got that far, how long would they have to keep running? they would constantly have to look over their shoulders, and exist together as if it's something that should be hidden out of fear, and guilt, and shame.

it then makes sense that aziraphale suddenly finds movement as crowley in turn grows more frantic in them being "an 'us'!"; aziraphale starts quickly shaking his head, tearing up, at what crowley is saying. crowley tries stoicly to cajole aziraphale into agreeing, because surely this time he will. aziraphale however strides right up to him, and counters again that he and crowley can be together, can be an 'us', but why can't it be in heaven? neither of them are denying what they want from the other. aziraphale then goes on to lay out exactly how it could work, that he could "run it, [crowley'll] be [his] second-in-command".

i know that a lot of people take issue with this line, because it suggests that aziraphale is claiming superiority, and relegating crowley to the oh-so-lowly deputy position... but tbh, i just can't see it like that. i have no doubt that crowley might see it like that (re: what i said above about crowley potentially seeing the restoration as an insult, because it's only offered not in recognition of crowley himself, but instead as a consolatory benefit of aziraphale taking the offer) but i just simply cannot fathom that aziraphale would ever mean it like that. because look - they haven't even gotten out the door, and already aziraphale has it all planned out. he'd bypass the other archangels not only to take the top position himself, at the metatron's behest, but he'd immediately use that power to install crowley right by his side. he's not offering crowley to just return to his lab/office cubicle as an angel, and once-in-a-blue-moon see aziraphale when he maybe had the time; he's already scheming to give crowley one of the most powerful positions he possibly can. he wants to place crowley in a position not only where aziraphale can always protect him, but it also shows that he trusts crowley more implicitly than any other being, and is frankly offering to fix heaven to be one that crowley would want to see. that crowley could have direct input in building. one that is good enough to have him.

aziraphale solidifies this with "we can make a difference". note the pronoun shift from before? and how he half-whispers it to crowley, fervent and desperate for crowley to see exactly what they could do together? notice how aziraphale isn't scanning around him at the windows anymore? to me, this is the real motivation, right here. metatron is giving both of them an opportunity for them to play their own game; aziraphale is prepared to take it, but wants crowley by side - as a team - when he does... why wouldn't crowley?

okay im going to cheat here slightly and direct you to this, because my thoughts on this are pretty much still the same. it's apt that this is the nail in the coffin as far as this conversation goes, because for me it's the main (only?) instance in which the two of them are both entirely candid in what they're saying, hoping the other understands, and yet the two meanings miss each other completely. everything else has been a conflict in beliefs or ideals, but this? this is The miscommunication.

crowley is saying: 'this bookshop means so much to you, and it means so much to me too. you even said it was ours, not just yours; it represents where we both felt most safe, where we could be entirely ourselves and not fear or worry about anything going on outside it. you gave me a home in this place, with you - you can't just leave it like it's nothing, you can't just leave 'us' like it's nothing, you can't just leave me like im nothing.'

aziraphale is saying: 'this bookshop means so much to me, it's true, but in a thousand years - even maybe a hundred years - it will be little more than rubble. it represents what i used to treasure more than anything, because it was what i took pleasure in, and i could be myself. it was ours, but really all it is, is little more than paper, glass, and brick. you are my home, and you are more important than a building with windows and a creaky front door. being together, being safe, is all i want, and is all that matters.'

all of that is summed up nicely in crowley just... letting all the fight drain out of his body. tilts his head back, in that famous nod of, 'oh right okay, i see what you're saying'. wills the tears not to fall; to him, aziraphale has just rejected everything that crowley thought aziraphale held dear - including himself. nothing lasts forever, including them... when what aziraphale is saying is that nothing lasts forever, but they could.

crowley puts his shield back on, the sunglasses back in their usual place. aziraphale sees him do so, and has the faintest, hopeful smile on his face; because he thinks that crowley has finally gotten what aziraphale was trying to convey to him - and so, now, they're going to leave the shop together, go to heaven together, and work together to fix heaven into what it always should have been... and along the way, grant them the freedom to do whatever the hell they want to do, and do it in peace. crowley however shatters that; he steps out from around aziraphale, and wishes him luck... and aziraphale realises that they are not in fact on the same page, and actually now whatever was holding on by a thread might have finally snapped.

okay look if you've made it this far - first of all how and why, you madman, this was stupidly long and convoluted... but also many kisses of gratitude unto you for sticking it out this long. i'm planning (if the dopamine gods remain with me) on doing a part 2 where i look at the last bit of the domestic, and the kiss, again - to see what i unearth there too, but thoughts so far:

aziraphale feels under threat from the metatron, and has to prioritise acquiescing to his request on pain of [redacted]

but he also knows that if the metatron knows that crowley is his pressure point, his only option is to try to a) convince the metatron that he (aziraphale) is completely on board, and docile, and b) convince crowley to come back with him, not only for his safety but also so they can be together, and because actually, to aziraphale's mind, the offer is a good thing, possibly something crowley has always secretly wanted, and crowley deserves it

alongside feeling threatened, aziraphale is wary that the metatron may be able to observe/hear their conversation. he therefore cannot say anything that would antagonise the metatron, cannot say anything that would suggest that aziraphale knows that the metatron is a Big Bad, and cannot let crowley in on the truth because crowley would question it too hard and endanger them both

aziraphale knows that crowley is about to confess his feelings, or something of a similar sentiment. aziraphale wants to hear it, but only when he can be sure that crowley will come back to heaven with him, where he can be safe in a position of power, right by aziraphale's side

when crowley begins to resist the idea, and battles back with a plan of this own for them to be together, aziraphale a) has to impress upon him that going back to heaven, and potentially fixing it in their image (lmao god complex much, aziraphale?) is the right thing to do, especially if they are to have any kind of future together, and b) has to do so, again, in a way that won't alert crowley that something more nefarious might be going on. regardless, they both operate on the understanding that they want to be together

however. the one major miscommunication in the entire part of the first sequence is "nothing lasts forever" - this particular part is practically the repeat of the different exactlies from episode 1

ok bye

#good omens #feral domestic/final fifteen meta #metatron spec #aziraphale meta

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vee-beeee · 6 months

Text

(Part 2) Robo Camping

HELLOOOO

PART 2 IS HERE

Im literally so sorry this took actual years, i got super sick

but im back with PART 2 and im READY

sorry for plot holes as always

I hope this isnt more trash, i worked so hard on this LOL

part 1 is (here) (i think) (idk how to link this properly)

Enjoy :D

Warnings: swearing maybe, FLUFF, and guys im venturing into the unknown here but there IS SMOOCHES and listen i tried hard but if they suck im SO SORRY

guys i gotta warn you, this is really cheesy like REALLY

this is so long holy 4k words

Conner, Nines, Sixty x reader

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You were HERE

After months of planning, days of road trips, hours of waiting, you were here.

And it was perfect.

You guys were deep in the heart of the woods, giving a little privacy to your area. The campsite itself was open with trees surrounding you, almost closing in with how the large they were looming over you. And in the corner was a break in the woods to a trail, which lead down to a small, crystal clear stream. Everything was gorgeous, just how you remembered it.

You giggled to yourself as the boys talked amongst themselves about how amazing it was while Nines picked a good place to park. After waiting point 0 seconds for Nines to unlock the door, you threw yourself into the woods and into this new experience.

(lil gif to get your brain going)

You ran to the middle of the camp and spun yourself in a full circle, taking in your surroundings. You could see your mountain peeking over the tree tops, and it looked majestic and glorious. Tomorrow you definitely wanted to check out the visitors lodge that sat around the middle of the mountain.

"You look like your enjoying yourself"

Snapping out of your trance (the mountain had that effect on you) you turned to look and see Nines smirking at you, but his gaze loving. He looked relaxed, and like he totally belonged in the woods, wearing a grey plaid shirt and his LED slightly hidden under a small beanie. You smiled at seeing him, and quickly ran a little ways up to him and made a motion with your arms to silently ask for what you wanted. His lips twitched and he nodded, allowing you to wrap your arms around him and sink into his hard shell of a front. You sighed softly and turned so your face was right between his pecs, enjoying the slight softness that his shirt provided. He smelled strongly of spice, and you inhaled to get more of it. The scent filled your lungs with a tingle, and you tried to mumble to him how much you enjoyed it

"Ymmmph smellpmh nicmph" he hummed out a laugh at hearing your poor attempts at communicating "what are you trying to say my dear?" you giggled into him and put your chin on his chest to fully gaze up into his face. His eyebrows were scrunched up but his eyes were full of mirth. Quietly, you started again "I said you smell nice" his face broke out into a Nines grin, brighter than ever as he and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your temple. "Why thank you, I actually keep myself clean. You must be smelling real soap" you gasped and swatted away at him while his grip on you got tighter and he chuckled out.

Rude.

"Geeez get a room you two!" you broke out of your bubble with Nines and looked over your shoulder at Conner and Sixty, who were in the middle of unpacking the car. Sixty was glaring pointedly at the RK900 unit while he unfolded a chair, (and you knew he was the one who said that) and you heard Conner chuckle as he pulled a box out of the trunk. You sighed and nuzzled one more time into Nines chest, finally detaching yourself from his artificial warmth to blow him a smooch dramatically, watching his lips quirk as he fake caught it, bringing the hand he caught it in to his lips and giving you a charming look.

After that you guys helped get set up, you and Conner were assigned to making the tent while Nines and Sixty set up the (very organized and clean) camp. When you and Conner were done getting the tent built, you both jumped into it and hopped onto the humongous blow up mattress the boys bought. The tent was very spacious with room for all of you to move around, and the mattress only took up 1 third the space. The rest of the space had a small table with pillows set up around it, and all of your suitcases pilled up on each other in the corner. The roof of the tent was high and see-through, for " romantic star gazing" as Conner called it in the store. (To which Hank had rolled his eyes so hard you were surprised he didn't fall over and muttered something about teenagers in love)

While you were staring off into the sky above you, Conner caught your attention. He had gently reached out for your hand while you were distracted, and when you had turned your head to face him he brought it up to his lips and kissed it. You blushed and smiled goofily at him, and he returned it, grabbing you fully now and rolling you over on top of him. You both lightly laughed at the position, you were now on top of his whole body looking down on him and he was staring up at you. You continued to lovingly gaze at each other before you decided to quickly peck him on the lips. You started to pull away, only meaning to do a fast smooch, but his hand flew up to the back of your head to prevent you from leaving him.

And then his lips lightly meet yours again.

Lips moving in sync, warmth filling your body, as he oh so gently kissed you. Like you would break if he was to harsh. His hand started massaging your hair, and the other wrapped around waist to keep you in place. Your palms moved up to rest on his chest as the kiss grew deeper, his mouth moving against yours as he soaked in your softness and savored it. Unfortunately, to busy making out, you both failed to hear the sound of branches crunching and someone walking towards the tent.

"Oh come on!" You jerked in surprise and looked up to see Sixty's head. He was totally scowling at Conner through the tents see-through mesh. " She had her fun with Nines and now this? When's my turn?" You burst into surprised giggles as Conner gave him a cheeky, breathless grin. You watched as Sixty as he stalked away, grumbling about being last. You gave Conner's cheek a soft smack and rolled off of him, standing up as much as the tent would allow and stretching. You heard him get off the mattress and felt cheeky hands resting at your waist. You swatted his grabby paws away as he chuckled, and you both left to help the others.

Finally, just as the sun was starting to set, everything was set up. Your tent was in the corner of the camp, making sure the top was out in the open so you could clearly see the night sky. There was a new picnic table set up, with cooking supplies and games piled on the top, and near the opening in the trees you guys had set up your chairs around the provided fire pit. It was picturesque, the perfect campsite.

"You guys, this looks awesome!" You laughed and plopped down in you chair while Sixty started a fire. "Indeed. I think we did a good job" Nines looked around, hands on his hips and nodded to himself. Conner came over and gave you a blanket, settling down in his chair next to you.

The rest of the evening was spent talking about various things while you ate your dinner and, of course, smore making. Only you could eat them, so you had 3 androids eagerly making the perfect smores and waiting for you to eat their model smore. You did eventually get sugar overload, and watched as Sixty, while cackling, set his marshmallow on fire for fun while Conner told him off and explained fire safety. To which Sixty ignored.

Eventually it got late, you got tired, and you all tucked into bed. All the androids present turned their internal heaters up and snuggled up to you, and you literally turned into a marshmallow yourself. You all looked up at the beautiful sky, filled with stars you just couldn't see in the big city, and you fell asleep listening to soft robotic breathes and the sound of the woods waking up.

Aaaaand then you woke up. In the middle of the night. With a need.

A need you hated. Because it would involve getting up from your comfortable spot, smushed between Conner and sixty and Nines leg??, and venturing into the woods.

You slowly started moving, looking around at your boys. They were all in rest mode, and you didn't want to interrupt them. So you snuck out of the tent, pecking all their heads as you left.

Now, you seem to have forgotten that you were dealing with androids. Who wake up when the detect their human has gotten up, noticing a disturbance. After you left the tent and went rummaging through one of the boxes on the table for a flashlight, you heard unzipping and saw a sleepy Sixty emerge from the tent.

"What are you doing sweet cheeks?" You flushed at the nickname, and looked him up and down. He had sloppily put on his shoes, and pulled a hoodie over his sleeping shirt.

"I needed to go use the bathroom, sorry for waking you" You quietly whispered to him, returning to your mission of finding a light source. You saw an LED swirl amber in the corner of your vision and suddenly a head lamp was being strapped to your messy bed head.

"Well let's go, I want to go back to snuggling you again" you started to protest, but he just tutted at you, explaining that there were bears in the area and he was making sure you weren't going to be mauled or kidnapped.

"If there was a bear, what are you going to do? Fist fight it?" You chuckled as his smile fell. It was quickly replaced by a smug smirk "I could totally win that fight. I literally have iron muscles." You doubled over in soft giggles after watching him flex his synthetic muscles through his hoodie and kiss them.

You both started off, groping around in the darkness trying to find your way to the campsites communal bathroom. Eventually you did find it, and you almost cried. It had been a 5 minute walk through the darkness and you were desperate. You heard Sixty laughing at you as you ran inside. You grimaced at the state the bathroom was in when you first entered (it being a campsite bathroom and all), and made sure to wash your hands with A LOT of soap.

You finished up and walked out to see..

No one? Had Sixty gone back without you?

You cautiously called out his name and turned in a slow circle, activating your headlamp as you did so.

"BOO"

And then you closed your eyes, screamed, and swiftly turned around and throat punched someone.

Your scream died out, and you cracked one eye open when you heard wheezy laughter. Fully opening your eyes, you were greeted by Sixty chuckling and holding his throat. You gasped as you saw his skin melting into the pure white underneath.

"Sixty Im so sorry! Its really dark out and I was freaked out already, are you okay?" He coughed out a yes and you saw his LED blinking yellow as he did a system diagnostic. "Damn girl, you punched me so hard you knocked a plate lose" you put your face in your palms and apologized profusely, and he had none of that. "Hey Hey Hey look at me" you stopped rambling and turned to see his face. He gave you a goofy smile as you made eye contact and your eyes darted back down to his throat to see that it looked a injured. There was a small line of white that lead down his throat, meaning you really had knocked something lose.

"It'll be fine. I'm actually a little impressed, but listen. It was my fault anyway. Now-" He started reassuringly, and you watched his hand slid down his throat until he reached that patch of white. His hand gently applied pressure and you heard a small hiss until the white was gone and his LED returned to a calm blue. you heard a chuckle before a hand went under your chin and he tilted your head up, drawing it close to his.

"Can you kiss it better?"

And then his mouth was hastily on yours, basically devouring you. You were so surprised that you gasped, but he quickly swallowed it. He grabbed you and gently pushed you against a tree, grasping for a branch for balance as he swept you away with his lips. This was different from Conner's kissing. This was desperate, fast, like Sixty was not afraid you would break. He was rough. You reached for everything, his hair, his back, the tree behind you, looking for purchase as he rapidly took your ability to breathe.

It was over all to soon as a light shone on the both of you.

And holding that light, was a disappointed pair. Conner and Nines.

"Wow"

"Honestly you two"

They grumbled and turned around, not even waiting for you both to join them. You and Sixty turned to each other and breathlessly giggled, before rushing to join the Rk's. You decided to briefly question them.

"What are you guys doing out here anyway?" They looked at each other before Nines eyes raked your form over "We heard a scream, and came to investigate. Are you okay?" you immediately flushed, and turned to look accusingly at Sixty. He rubbed his arm and turned to stare in the darkness chucking as he murmured

"I pranked her. But she got me good! She's actually got quite the arm."

And it took a minute for the pair to compute what Sixty implied.

He scared the crap out of you.

In the woods.

At night.

And made you scream.

And punch him.

And then Nines basically throttled him.

That ended in you and Conner pulling Nines off of Sixty as he once again fell into choking fit, and you explained you had already throat punched him. Conner applauded you for your strength when you told him you accidently loosened a panel.

You all eventually got back to camp, and fell into a snugly, warm, android pile once more.

Watching the stars.

The next morning you couldn't have been more comfortable. Conner was crowding your back, curling around you with both of his hands resting on your stomach. Every part of him was heated, and you were melting. Sixty's head was shoved into your chest, the rest of his body entwined with yours, making you the middle of a android sandwich, and you were NOT complaining. Nines was mysteriously not here, but as soon as that thought crossed your mind, your nose picked up on some eggs and bacon being cooked. You sighed happily and picked your hands up to rub your hands through sixty's hair.

He let out a groan and snuggled deeper into you as you softly giggled. You felt movement behind you and you started stretching your legs

"Good morning my love" came a sleepy voice from behind you. A similar voice revealed itself from your chest, and Sixty turned his head to gaze at you.

"Good morning to you too boys" You murmured, keeping one hand to run through Sixty's hair, and the other went up to smack Conner's cheek a couple times. The boys waited until you were done re-positioning yourself to snuggle deeper into you, and you almost did fall asleep again, but a soft voice and the unzipping of the tent flap woke you back up. You closed your eyes and felt soft lips kiss your temple "I made you breakfast. I know its early, but I remember you said you wanted to go to that Lodge on the mountain today. So I have prepared everything to leave as soon as your done eating" your eyes gently blinked open and you took a moment to study Nines face. His eyes were droopy and filled with adoration, and he was dressed in a warm puffy jacket. You leaned up to peck his lips, which he returned until Sixty yanked you down and grumbled. Nines chuckled quietly and left the tent, leaving you to get ready.

Once you all were dressed for the day, you and the Rk's left the tent to see Nines packing some boxes in the car. As soon as you spied your breakfast you grabbed it and started eating. You always remembered to praise Nines, as he enjoyed your input on how his food tasted.

"Nines this is amazing as always" you watched his lips twitch upwards "I'm glad. You need real, healthy food in you. Not that garbage from "mcdonalds" or any fast food place that you ingested so much of on the road trip" annnddd then Conner and Nines were talking about unhealthy fast food restaurant food was now. You giggled as they talked, hearing their clear disgust for the industry. Sixty came and sat down next to you on the picnic table, where you had set up, and started talking with you on what you wanted to do that day.

When you finished eating, your group set off in the car once again to go to the mountains visitors lodge. You were super excited, you had so many fond memories of the place and you were ecstatic to come back with your boyfriends and re-live the experiences again.

After a short and sweet drive, filled with amazing scenery, and the trip flew by as you soon made it to the lodge. You were thankful for Nines planning because it was totally dead at the time of day it was. Speaking of, what time was it?

"Oh my god its 6 in the morning" you exclaimed after checking your phone. Conner looked at you from the drivers seat, confusion visible on his face.

"Did you not notice?" you shook your head at him and he chuckled, along with the others "That's because you sleep in all the time, you don't know what morning looks like" a certain smug voice stated from the backseat. You rolled your eyes and got out of the car, grumbling as you slammed the door shut.

They weren't wrong. You were slightly prone to sleeping in.

"But isn't it beautiful in the morning?" Nines had apparently snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and whispering in your ear. His breath made you shiver, and you nodded, taking in your surroundings. The mountain was lit up by the morning sun, looking heavenly, and the rolling cliffs that surrounded it were covered in snow and shone brightly. You sighed into Nines, and took the moment to enjoy the cool air that the altitude and forest provided.

You all walked in to the lodge and greeted the exhausted employee, and started looking at the displays of the mountain. Nines and Conner read every plaque and information board, and Sixty wandered around messing with the controls on the displays, to which Conner would quietly glare at him. You went off on your own to a empty room, that when you clicked a couple buttons, showed what climbing the mountain would look like, a little hologram appearing before you. Standing alone in the empty room, you listened as the narrator explained what was going on.

"Enjoying the show?"

You tilted your head to see Nines leaning against the door with his hands in his pockets. His lips were quirked upwards, and he slowly sauntered towards you, spinning you fully to face him. He gently held you, kissing your temple as you got closer.

"I am now"

After finishing up with the main area of the lodge, your little crew went to the gift shop. Where the boys all bought themselves AND you something, which you had protested to at first, but they insisted.

Nines got himself and you matching sweatshirts, saying you "needed to bundle up more"

Conner got some new card games, (your collection growing) and then told you he would play with you later. You were totally winning that

Sixty got you a stuffed animal moose. You immitaly named it mouse.

A good day overall

After that, you all took a walk in the flower fields behind the lodge, and you took A LOT of pictures. You were just so happy to be there with your boys, and the flowers were gorgeous this time of year.

The rest of the morning was spent on hiking around the lodge, and at lunch time you ate at a little restaurant that was off of the lodge. The boys sat amongst themselves talking, but while that was happening,

their LEDs were blinking rapidly

That's gotta mean somethings wrong

you were starting to get suspicious, eyeing them carefully as the group all sat with their LEDS blinking and occasionally giving each other looks.

And then Sixty and Nines just up and left.

They both said their goodbyes, saying they "wanted to check something" and left.

More interestingly, Conner face palmed at their delivery out of the corner of your eye.

"What are they actually doing" you questioned and ate one of your fries, watching the pair leave, and then promptly running past the window of the shop making your eye brows skyrocket.

"Its just something with work, its fine my darling" Conner crowded your vision, and offered to walk around in the more secluded parts of the flower fileds. He said he wanted to check the small lake out there, and you agreed but still kept an eye out for Nines and Sixty. They seemed anxious and in a hurry, but what did that mean?

You and Conner left the shop after paying for the food, and went on a little romantic walk. You swore Conner was redirecting your vision as you left, saying he saw a moose.

You didn't buy it. Something was up.

But Conner was dilligent.

He was on you the whole time, talking you up and forcing you to give all your attention to him.

Well, not forcing

When you got to the cute little lake, you guys sat on a sturdy old log that was covered in moss, but it gave you the perfect view.

"Hey sweetheart?" You hummed in response, but kept your eyes on the scenery.

"We have some time to kill" You turned to him, and of course

He was holding the card game he bought you.

And so, 36 minutes of time was spent as you fiercely tried to win against Conner.

You think the time was well spent.

Even if he won everytime.

He apologized every win, adding that he could technically "lower his difficulty" but you refused.

You were winning fair and square.

Did I mention what game this was?

"Haha! Uno!" you yelled into the forest, while Conner looked at you in amusement. Deep in his artifical heart, he knew he shouldnt do this to you. You worked so hard! But, he was only human. (android but you get it)

A quick "I love you" brushed past his lips and then he slapped down a +4.

You were frozen. You knew it was bad when he pulled out and "i love you" . Finally you gasped, looking at him in shook as he gave you a guilty smile.

"Wow Conner I thought you were supposed to be the nicest one" a voice hollered from the woods. You spun around to find the voice and saw Sixty and Nines emerge from the woods, and they gently chuckled at your misery face and caught up with Conner.

Sixty went off with the other rk800 unit, and Nines stayed with you.

"Is everything okay? You guys were gone for a while." His mouth just twitched and he gave you a cryptic "you'll see". You gave him a skeptical look before Conner and Sixty came back.

And Sixty handed you a map.

Giving him a confused smile, you opened it finding the answer to all your questions.

It was a map

For a scavenger hunt.

You almost screamed in excitement.

you LOVED scavenger hunts.

All the boys kissed your head, and Sixty whispered a "go wild" and you were off.

The clues took you all over the lodge, and the boys were there to guide you along the way and give you hints in case you got lost. As you ran around for almost 2 hours, they explained that Conner was the distraction, and Nines and Sixty had spent that time setting everything up. You took the chance to hug all of them, and you apparently got too "sappy" for Sixty. But you were so thankful that they took the time to set everything up. There was another perk though, every clue lead to a small gift. You had gotten stuffed animals, gift cards, little Knick knacks, the whole load. Every time you got a gift you would thank them profusely, and they would just chuckle.

Finally, you got to the end.

And found....a piece of paper?

That came with a picture?

The paper read "our new home" on it and oh my god

The whole scavenger hunt lead to this.

Conner gently grabbed your shoulder, and you turned to see them all softly smiling at you.

"We bought a place"

And you almost burst into tears.

It was a super fancy apartment, close to the top floor, with plenty of space for everyone.

And you could have ANIMALS

They asked you if you would move in and you immediately accepted, jumping up and down and throwing yourself into a droid hug while they laughed with you.

So it was a pretty good first day you think.

The rest of the week was spent hiking, fire mishaps, exploring, crossing dangerous rivers, and you (attempting) to tell ghost stories to androids that were not spooked at all.

One hike was definitely the most memorable, it being your last too

It, at one point, ended up with you pressed up against Nines as he held a hand to your mouth, with Conner and Sixty moving in front of you.

Going back a bit to before that, you all had been merrily walking down the trail, you talking about your favorites movie lore while the androids all listened fondly, when Nines suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"Woah is he malfunctioning?" was Sixty's immediate quip whenever Nines did something strange. Nines was currently tilting his head around, eagle eyes dissecting the forest and fields around you.

And then he suddenly jumped for you and grabbed your mouth, tugging you backwards into some bushes. You shouted in surprise and Conner ran to your aid, but Nines grabbed his arm and dragged him in the bush with you. He noticed Sixty's panic and quickly and calmly explained what was wrong

"Bear"

And then you gasped as Sixty, quick as a whip, jumped into the bush with you. All of you were silent, and then you heard snorting and grunting.

And a bear was totally walking a little ways away through the field that was next to the trail you were previously on.

You could feel Nines breathe on you as you all watched it crack open a log and rip it to shreds. In the corner of your eye, you saw Conner TOTALLY enamored. He had a goofy smile on his face while he watched it pulverize a log, and you assumed it was looking for bugs. You had to admit, this was super cool.

After a while it lumbered on, having its fill. Nines slowly released you as every one exited the coverage of the trees, and you turned around to peck his cheek and thank him for immediately protecting you. He whispered a soft "of course" and you smiled at his slightly blue cheeks.

Conner was talking about that bear for the rest of the hike, him and Sixty both recalling the events and analyzing them. You giggled at their excitement over seeing a real-life actual bear, and not just an android one at some zoo.

The camping trip was a success all together, you had fun with your boyfriends, they had fun with you, they got to see an actual bear, lots of good stuff.

It was a sad day when you had to pack up, you knew you wouldn't be back anytime soon because of how long it took to drive to the mountain and back. The boys were disappointed too, but said they enjoyed it so much they would be willing to do it again. (More like Conner and Sixty said that while Nines protested. He enjoyed camping, just not all the dirt that came with it)

A good trip overall with more camping to come. And a new apartment for you all to enjoy. Mission successful.

And you totally won a game of uno on the last night, to everyone's dismay. The cherry on top.

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Holy crap I read it again and this is so cheesy

I hope you enjoy tooth rotting fluff lol

THANKS FOR READING

sorry for spelling errors and i hope its not crap!

#dbh connor #dbh connor x reader #dbh rk800 #detroit become human #dbh nines #dbh rk900 #dbh rk900 x reader #dbh hank #dbh sixty x reader #dbh sixty

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