#if you catch me posting this at midnight no you dont | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

corvidcall · 1 year

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Did you ever tell the story of why ******* kicked you out because she forgot to pick you up from work on here? I remember it happening in real time and it was not funny but in retrospect, it's 200 upvotes on reddit material lol

LMAO its so funny you censored her name. like shes gonna be here or something. cant let her know i still think shes a bitch!!!!!

anyway heres fun little anecdote about that time i was forced to move out, in the style of an aita post, fake names and all

AITA for being mad at my roommate for not driving my somewhere?

I (22nb) live with two roommates, Makenzie (22f) and Justin (19 trans m). We all met because we worked at the same place, and we've been living together for almost a year. Of the three of us, I'm the only one who has lived with roommates before, but I can't tell if I'm being TA here?

Makenzie is the only one of us who can drive, and she agreed when we moved in together that, if we gave her some money to buy her mom's car, then she would drive us places whenever she was able. I work a little over a mile away from our apartment, so I CAN walk, but since I get off work at around 9pm, and the sidewalks aren't really well-maintained (it's a really industrial part of town, so it's not GREAT for walking), she agreed that she would pick me up after work every day.

Last week, I got off work, and waited for her to show up, and she never came. I texted her a few times, and when she didn't respond after I'd been waiting for almost an hour, I texted that I would be walking home. Apparently, she'd fallen asleep, and midway through my walk home, she woke up, got in her car, and tried to come find me to drive me home. She couldn't find me (the sidewalk is really hard to see from the road, and it's extremely dark, so I'm not surprised), and then frantically tried to get a hold of me to make sure I wasn't dead. I didn't see her texts because I was 1. walking and 2. on the phone with my partner. When I got home, she was pissed that I made her worry. She thinks I did it on purpose to get revenge? I told her I was just busy, and she seemed to accept that, but today she and our other roommate sat me down and told me that I needed to find a new place to live, because "this wasn't working out."

According to her, I'm not entitled to a ride anywhere, so I had no right to be mad at her for not giving me a ride, and I certainly didn't have a right to make her think I was dead (I literally told her I was walking home??). She also brought up that I never do my chores on the chore wheel (she made the chore wheel without asking. She just announced that she'd made a chore wheel and I had to clean the living room, which I'm almost never in anyway) and that I owe her $200 (from when we adopted our cat, which I think is weird to bring up when you're trying to kick me out?? it's not like I'm gonna get to keep the cat). She's saying I'm entitled and inconsiderate, but I feel like she's punishing me for the fact that she flaked. AITA?

Edit: If it helps, she's flaked on rides before. A few months ago, she agreed to take me to the doctor, and then the day before my appointment, she told me she couldn't give me a ride. The reason she flaked was because she wanted to go to the weed dispensary instead :/ she said it was fine, because "your mom will just get you an uber anyway". My mom agreed to pay all my necessary expenses while I'm in school (I'm a full time student; she pays my rent and I use the money from my part time job to pay for my food) but she's not like. Rich. I don't feel good about just spending her money on stuff I don't have to.

UPDATE: Makenzie made a post on Facebook about how "it's so sad when someone would rather lose a friendship than admit they were wrong." I shouldn't have commented, but I did, asking her if she forgot we were facebook friends, and then I blocked her. In retrospect, I should have just blocked her without commenting, but I'm only human.

UPDATE 2: Well, I'm moving out. Justin started harassing me, accusing me of stealing his shampoo and letting the cat loose on purpose, neither of which I did. I have my own nicer shampoo, and I love cats (I just was asleep when he told me the cat was missing, because it was midnight and I wake up at 6 am to go to school. I guess the fact that I didn't immediately leap to my feet to find our cat means I wanted him dead???) Makenzie is refusing to give back my deposit, because she says she needs to have the carpets in my room professionally cleaned before a new roommate can move in. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But I guess I'm willing to pay a couple hundred dollars to not deal with this anymore. Still, sucks. :/

#anime life #she only gave me like half of my deposit back :/#anyway their real names were madison and travis lol. sometimes i think about what happened and i get sooooo upset all over again #even though it literally doesnt matter #i dont even live in the same state as them anymore #honestly i think she and travis just resented me because i had the largest bedroom (even though i paid more in rent)#and they didnt think i worked as hard as them #they both had full time jobs and i had a part time job. but i was also a full time student!!!!!!!#i woke up at 6 am and when i worked i got back at 10 pm!!!!#but when i didnt work i was back home before either of them woke up.#so i guess to them my school time just. didnt count???#also they were mad i kept asking them to keep it down at night. even though they KNEW that i was going to need that when we all moved in #i dont know how many times i can tell a person that i have to be up at 6 so i can catch my bus to school #so i need them to be quiet after midnight #ALSO ALSO neither of them had ever had weed before we moved in together and then they both started smoking ALL THE TIME #and they were absolutely fucking intolerable after that #frankly if i didnt already think weed should be legal nationwide. this would have convinced me that no one should ever have it #sorry. it makes you too annoying.#long post

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akihikosanada · 1 year

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hello my loves 💗 have been barely online the past month but i hope everyone has been well!!!!

#been barely online in general one thing im not looking forward to is catching up on my shows when i get home i hate when the eps pile up...#i know i didnt post that much about it the few moments i was online but succession ending this year made me so sad wtf....would have liked #knowing about it months ago when i didnt think there would be five seasons 😔#wish i ended with more energy by the end of the day i dont think ive gone to sleep past midnight more than 3 days or woken up after 9am....#anyways yes im having so much fun but i cant wait to sleep for a week straight when i get home its exactly what i need 🙏#miss reading peoples personal posts and seeing what everyones been into love you 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩#my post

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gayarograce · 15 days

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god every time i read a post about an american who says or does something just... really fucking stupid when in a foreign country i feel the need to apologize on behalf of the rest of my country like i promise we're not all this stupid😭😭😭

#also whenever i see someone generalizing all americans as like this i just bite my tongue. but if you catch yourself doing this consider #you probably only notice the ones who say stupid stuff or are generally inconsiderate in other ways #while those who dont go out of their way to say stupid shit and are considerate of the fact that other people/places exist and our differen #probably fly under your radar. oh and also consider therere 335 million of us and obviously you can't generalize for a population that larg #doing so is as ridiculous as trying to generalize all europeans. there's just way too many people to draw accurate meaningful conclusions #but also having said that yes there are some valid criticisms you can make that do apply to a lot of us #uh if you read these tags then thanks i guess? i put this little rant in the tags cause truthfully its just a pet peeve of mine #it only bothers me a little bit not too much though #no what bothers me more is people being blatantly wrong about various aspects of the us #but i never have the energy to correct them and so i don't #i should make a series of posts debunking common misconceptions i see tho #kinda like that one post i made a bit ago clarifying some things about how kinder surprise eggs are illegal here #wow these tags are i mess i wrote them around midnight so i hope they make sense and don't ramble too much #also i kept them intentionally quite vague. sorry if that bothers anyone

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cryptidghostgirl · 2 months

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omg omg omg totally new silly idea- human! alastor x human! reader where they meet at a party and go outside for a walk near the pier and the moon is beautiful and… they pull out weapons on each other (specifically Alastor a knife and reader a gun) and thats when they decide to form a partner in crime partnership

And in other to keep appearances they are forced to “fake date”

Mimzy: youve been spending some time with that new girl havent you, is she your gf or smth?” chuckle

Naize 20 yr old smth Alastor trying to think of a response thats not that:...

Mimzy: OMG IS SHE?

Alastor: sureeeeee

And they aren't actually into each other until a lot later into their partnership when they’re chasing some guy and reader gets to them first and just starts going at it “hey man i think hes had enough” “YOU WANT WHAT HES HAVING???” thpe shit

and Alastor has to catch his breath and he lowkey thinks hes dying because his heart starts beating a lot, And he goes again to mimzy for advice cuz i dont think he has anu friends and shes like “oh sweetie…”

And because its quite impossible to not get attached at one point theyre in another chase and reader starts laughing hysterically like “did you see him trying to run away??? lmao” and he goes “I couldnt take my eyes off you” and then just grabs her face and SMOOCH >:)

I think its a good trope- fake dating to actual dating even if its. about. murderers- :3

A/N YOU GUYS COME UP WITH THE BEST REQUESTS JESUS CHRIST!!! Also I promise I will get to the rest of the requests this weekend, I had two exams today so this is the only thing I am gonna post. Sorry.

Cover Up (Human!Alastor x Human!Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: uh, murder. Mild gore. Violence. Weapons.

Word Count: 4,460 (I went a little overboard with this one)

Master Lists:

Master Lists

Hazbin Hotel Master List

"I'll walk her home, don't worry Mimzy." Alastor was saying as Y/n pulled her coat over her shoulders.

The noises of the party still raging on filtered into the grand entryway of the house, muffled through the walls. Mimzy shot her two friends a suspicious look.

"It's nothing like that, Mimz." Y/n sighed, straightening the collar of her fur coat, "I just asked cause of all those murders in the news. Kinda freaky, don't you think? I don't really wanna be out alone at night and Al here was kind enough to offer."

Mimzy crossed her arms, eyebrows raised.

"Sure." she teased.

"Mimzy." Alastor sighed in response and she put her hands up in false surrender.

"Sorry! Sorry." she hummed playfully, "I know you two free birds would never."

Alastor rolled his eyes and, turning to Y/n, held out his arm. She took it daintily, a grateful smile on her face. The pair had just met a few hours earlier but had quickly fallen into a casual camaraderie. He lead her from the house, Mimzy calling her goodnights and wishes for their safety after their retreating forms.

It was a mostly quiet walk through the desolate midnight streets of New Orleans. Y/n hummed softly, kicking a can along with the toes of her healed shoes.

"You'll ruin them that way, wont you?" Alastor asked, feigning concern.

Y/n just shrugged.

"They're shoes. Yeah, they're nice but I wont let that stop me from living. Let's stop by the water, it's so pretty tonight."

Alastor turned slightly, looking out at the Mississippi with it's slightly turbid waters reflecting the light of the stars. He tried not to smile, it was like she wanted him to carry out his intended work. She was making it so easy for him.

"Sure."

They turned towards the rail and Y/n let go of his arm, leaning her elbows against it. She let out a sigh of longing as her eyes tracked the ripples in the surface.

Alastor watched her for a moment, the moon illuminating her features. She was a handsome woman, there was no doubt about it. It had been proved to him tenfold by the amount of prospective partners she had turned down dances with at the party in favor of drinking with him at the bar. That was not what Alastor was interested in, however. Once he was sure she was distracted, once he was sure she had no intent to take her eyes from the glowing river, he looked down. Moving his coat slightly to the side, his hand quickly found its way to the hilt of the knife he had stashed in his waistband for just such an occasion.

He pulled it out, the weight familiar, almost comforting in a sense, in his hand. There was a click. He looked up, the blade pointed to its intended target.

Y/n was facing him now, a wry smile on her face. One foot in front of the other, she took a step forward. The muzzle of the gun, the cocking of which had been the source of the noise which had drawn his attention, just a few centimeters from his chest. The tip of his knife hovered indefinitely by the open center of her coat. He chuckled in amusement, eyebrows raised.

"I thought there were a few more bodies in the news than there should have been. A gun? Really?"

Y/n shrugged.

"I'm little. I don't have the privilege of being able to overpower my victims like you."

Alastor hummed softly. A slight breeze picked up, playing with the edges of their hair.

"What a shame."

Y/n laughed lightly.

"I don't think so. It works well enough."

"Those machines are inelegant, they are detached."

"And you prefer a sense of intimacy to be involved in all your escapades?"

Alastor removed the knife, holding it up to his eyes. He turned the blade over in his hand, examining it closely. Following suit, Y/n let her hand fall to her side, the gun still cocked should an occasion arise to use it.

"I have an idea." he suddenly announced.

"Oh?" Y/n asked.

She took a step back, returning to the water's edge. Alastor followed, leaning over the railing beside her. They watched one another closely, weapons still clutched loosely in their hands.

"Yep."

"You gonna tell me what it is or am I gonna have to guess?" Y/n teased after a moment, breaking the oddly comfortable silence that had fallen after Alastor's last words.

"There have been a few times, of late, where I've come a bit... uncomfortably close to being seen."

"Getting lazy." Y/n hummed, "Or maybe just cocky."

"It seems like you could use a hand, someone with brute strength in case anything goes wrong."

She scoffed, smiling just the slightest bit.

"Are you proposing we work together?"

"You're the one who said it, not me."

Y/n shook her head slightly, amused.

"How would I know you wouldn't just turn on me? End up killing me or decide not to step in if I needed help?"

"And how would I know that you wouldn't rat me out? Alert someone to where I was and what I was doing rather than telling me someone was coming? It's called trust, Y/n."

Y/n thought it over, fiddling with the gun in her grip as she did so. Alastor watched, seeing the gears turning in her mind through the light of her eyes.

"Fine." she said at last, un-cocking the gun and holding a hand out to him, "You've got yourself a deal."

Alastor smiled, slipping the knife back into his belt before grasping her hand in his. It was chilled by the air of the January night enveloping them.

"Deal."

Y/n quickly learned Alastor's preferred demographic. He had a penchant for angry men, drunks. Y/n had been a one off, a spur of the moment opportunity he had thought to take hold of. Alastor had not been like that for her. Y/n's preferred victims were also men. Anyone that showed any pressing interest in her, anyone who tried to take her home for the night, always ended up six feet under. For both, murder was a way of processing their personal experiences and traumas.

As a result of their deal, Y/n and Alastor began to spend more time together. They had to learn one another's intricacies, their ways of thinking, their nature of being. It was a necessity if anything was actually going to work. They both had rather busy work schedules, Alastor as a radio broadcaster with his very own show and Y/n as a seamstress at a local dress shop. Because of this, more often than not, the only time they had to get to know one another was through shared meals. Both of them had to eat, needed a lunch break or dinner. It was just what worked. Because of their slightly shared demographic of victim, they ended up in bars together quite frequently as well.

It was in one of these meet ups that they ran into their first difficulty. Y/n was sitting across a table from him outside a cafe, lazily sipping on a coffee as she perused the missing persons list in a newspaper. The newspaper was old, they were exchanging information about who was responsible for what. Working together didn't just mean knowing one another as they were now, but their histories as well.

They should have known not to sit in such a public place. Both had many connections in the city due to their jobs, though few friends. It just so happened on that day that the one true friend they did have in common was walking down the very street they sat on.

"Alastor?" Mimzy exclaimed, catching sight of his familiar face and moving towards their table.

Y/n folded the newspaper, placing it on the table as she turned towards the sound. Mimzy came to a stop, her brow furrowing in mild confusion as she saw her friend was not in fact alone.

"And Y/n, fancy meeting you two here."

"Pull up a chair, Mimz." Y/n smiled and Mimzy obeyed.

Swinging a spare chair from a nearby table, she quickly joined them.

"I haven't seen you two since the party! How have you been."

"Fine, fine." Alastor hummed and Y/n nodded her assent.

"And whats this with you two getting coffee?" Mimzy asked, a teasing smile slipping onto her face as Alastor took a sip of his own drink, "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, not at all Mimz." Y/n shook her head, a slight smile on her face, "It's always a pleasure to see you."

"You sure this isn't a date or something? I mean, with the way you two left and everything... having coffee alone..."

Alastor nearly choked on his drink. Y/n and Mimzy turned to him as he put a hand to his chest, clearing his throat.

"Excuse me." he said and Mimzy's grin widened.

"Oh this is totally a date."

"No!" Alastor exclaimed, exchanging a fervent glance with Y/n across the table.

She raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. Without words, she told him to handle it. Alastor sighed.

"Are you sure?" Mimzy asked, a suggestive tone to her voice.

"I... uh..." Alastor stuttered, his brain working in overdrive to think of anything else. It came up empty, "Fine. Yes. We're... we're on a date."

"You caught us." Y/n chimed in and Mimzy turned to her.

"Oh my stars! You two.... I shoulda guessed you'd get on like a house on fire. Shame I can't invite you to any more of my singles parties though Y/n, you are a riot."

Singles parties. A hunting ground. Y/n smiled.

"No, no, Mimz. We're not exclusive or anything."

Mimzy's eyes widened slightly at the revelation as Alastor shot Y/n a look across the table. Dating was going to be hard for them to sell but swingers too? What was she thinking.

"Really? How exotic." Mimzy hummed in thought.

"We're all going to hell anyways so, why not." Y/n shrugged.

"Oh you." Mimzy laughed, placing a hand on Y/n's shoulder as she got to her feet, "Well, I won't keep you love birds any longer. I'll see you next week for the next party then?"

"We'll see." Alastor hummed placidly.

Once Mimzy had gone, he rounded on Y/n.

"Swingers?" he asked, eyebrows raised, "Really?"

"Hey, you're the one who started the whole 'we're dating' thing." Y/n sighed, picking the newspaper back up and resuming the task at hand, "I just made it easier for us."

"It will utterly destroy my reputation if this gets out you know."

Y/n shot him a look over the top of the paper.

"Al, you got a lot more to worry about than pretending to be a swinger in terms of your reputation. Now, Marcus Alcost? Six four, buff, scar on his left forearm? Brown hair?"

"Blue eyes?"

"Umm... yeah."

"Yep, that was me."

"Nice. Musta been a tough one to take down."

Alastor would track men, following them out as they left the establishments in the small hours of the morning with the intent of returning to their families. He would stalk them, corner them, lead them in. Y/n would stand watch, alerting him at the first sign of trouble.

The moment she heard footsteps, chatter, Y/n would duck in. Grabbing Alastor by the arm, she would whisk him off in some random direction, having consistently used the time she was on lookout to scout for escape routes.

They had had a few close calls, one or two times he had had to press her up against a wall and pretend to kiss her to avoid prying eyes. They always had a good laugh after something like that. Mostly, things worked out well. They each had survived on their own for years at this point. They knew what they were doing, adding another person into the mix just made it a tad easier.

Y/n, on the other hand, didn't need to track her victims down, they did that work for her. She would dress up all pretty and the moment someone asked to take her home or something of the like, would agree. Then she'd pull them into some ally or another under the guise of not wanting to wait a second longer and attack. Alastor would stand behind her, arms crossed menacingly as she carried out her work. He threatened so she could perform and she never had any trouble thanks to him.

That was, until one night about a year into their little partnership. As the time had passed, their relationship had grown. They still held the ruse of dating up before anyone who asked why it was they each spent so much time with the other but, a real friendship had begun to blossom between them as well. As it turns out, they had a lot more in common than just a tendency to commit brutal murders. Y/n knew Alastor well by now, better than anyone else most likely, and he knew her as well. That was how he could tell something was wrong.

Y/n had given Alastor the usual signal from across the bar and he had settled his tab. As he followed the pair, Y/n and the tall man whose hand she held, Alastor had noticed something was off. Normally by this point Y/n was stumbling around, pretending to be drunk and ditzy. She was doing this very thing now but in a more halted and jagged way. The man she was with seemed more believably drunk than she was, swaying this way and that. Her movements were uncharacteristically harsh as she pulled the man into the ally about a block ahead of him.

Alastor picked up the pace, breaking into a light jog. He reached the ally and turned down it, expecting to see Y/n flirting with the man or with her gun out already. Instead, he was met with something entirely different.

At the back of the ally lay the huddled mass of the man. On top of him was Y/n. The thuds of her knuckles against his face was the only sound breaking the silence of the night. She hit him, again and again. Alastor stood there, stunned.

"Dear, whatever is the matter?" he asked at last, trying to wrap his head around the situation.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Y/n."

Thud. Thud. Thud.

He could see the splatters of blood now, on the ground around them and the wall behind. The thuds included the occasional squelch, the crack of a bone.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

"You'll ruin your hands for work tomorrow if you keep at this."

Still, she ignored him. There was a sickening crunch. Sighing, he approached.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

He could see it now, the man's mutilated face. Part of his skull looked like it had caved in. He had stopped moving long ago.

"Y/n, dear," Alastor tentatively reached out a hand towards her shoulder as he spoke, "don't you think he has had enough?"

Y/n whipped around to him, her eyes wild and her bloody raw knuckles raised. He froze, his hand hovering above her shoulder. There was blood everywhere. It soaked the sleeves of her collard shirt, it dripped from her fingers, it decorated her face and her bared teeth.

"What, you fucking want some too?"

Alastor's breath caught in his throat. His heart pounded against his ribcage, begging for escape. It wasn't fear, it couldn't be. He could take this girl down in ten seconds flat, blood hungry as she was.

Y/n's eyes, sharp with violence, softened slightly as she saw his reaction. She let her hands fall, resting them on the man's chest.

"He tried to drug me." she revealed, turning her eyes back to her mess, her masterpiece.

"He what?"

"Yeah." she sighed, using the back of her hand to push her hair from her eyes, leaving a residue of blood in the wake of the movement, "I caught him, switched the drinks."

Alastor shifted his gaze to the man before falling on Y/n once again. Her face was blank now, all the rage gone.

"He tried to drug me." she said again, her voice hollow.

At last, his hand found its home on her shoulder and she turned to face him once again. Alastor extended his free hand to Y/n. She examined it for a moment before daintily placing one of her own in his and allowing him to help her to her feet. Both her hands now rested in his as they looked back at the remains of the man.

"Well, he's definitely dead."

Alastor let go of Y/n's hands. Now free, he used one of them to turn her face to his. Blood spattered, wide eyed, lips slightly parted -- his heart fought for freedom from his chest once again.

"He deserved it."

Alastor let go of Y/n's chin and used the cuff of his jacket to wipe some of the blood from her face.

"Can you walk me home?"

Normally if she had asked something like that, Alastor would have teased her to no end. Why be scared of the monsters in the dark when she herself was one of them? But her voice had been small, timid. She had avoided his eyes and his fingers tingled at the prospect of her viewing him as protector.

"Of course, my dear."

They did not have another planned meeting until two weeks from that day. Y/n had a big project at work and wouldn't have any spare time because of it. Alastor, normally restless at the idea of having to wait so long to satisfy his bloodlust either by killing or seeing the show of death, was grateful for the respite. He was confused, overwhelmed even, because his strange reactions, the change in his patterns of thought towards the girl, hadn't ended at Y/n's front door.

No, she was haunting him. Like a vengeful ghost, he saw her in his mind. She took up every waking moment, he didn't know what to do. Alastor waited a day and still, it persisted. The skip of his heart, the odd slightly sick feeling in his stomach at the thought of their reunion. He waited three days and it didn't stop. By the time the end of the week rolled around and Alastor still found himself smiling at the prospect of only having to wait another week not to kill but to see Y/n again, he did the unthinkable. It was the only option he could come up with. Besides Y/n, she was the only other person in the world he even half trusted. Alastor called Mimzy.

"Alastor, darling!" she excitedly exclaimed into the phone, "What a surprise! What can I do for you?"

"Yeah, hey Mimzy. Um..." he struggled to find the words, fiddling with the phone cord as he walked to the window, looking down at the street below, "I just... I need your advice about something."

"What is it, hun?" she immediately replied, "Seems its got you in a tizzy, not a lot can do that."

"I... It's about Y/n."

"Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?"

"No. Maybe?" he turned from the window, collapsing in his desk chair, "I don't know."

"Spill."

"Well, we... I just.... Mimz, I can't stop thinking about her."

"Well I would hope not, you've been together for almost a year now."

"Yeah well, about that. It may have been a... stretching of the truth? Shall we say?"

"Al." Mimzy warned after a moment's silence, "If you are playing with this gi-"

"No!" he exclaimed, cutting her off and quickly crafting an excuse, "No. It was just to get our parents off our backs. We had a deal. They were both pestering us about when we were gonna get married, you know how it is."

"I thought your dad was dead?"

"My ma though, she really wants to see me settled down."

"I guess that explains the swingers thing." Mimzy sighed, "It didn't really seem in character for either of you. So, whats the matter?"

"I told you, I can't stop thinking about her. It's like... it's like... look, we're not dating, but we're friends, you know? And we were out at a bar together a few nights ago and she just... she did something and when I looked at her, it was like I died."

"That little minx." Mimzy laughed in glee, "What the heck did she do?"

"Just something, okay?"

"I have got to quiz her about this."

"No! Please, no. She'd... probably be embarrassed."

"Mmm... okay...." came Mimzy's doubtful reply, "So what was it you needed help with?"

"Well, that. It was like the breath had left my body entirely. I felt... sick, my chest hurt. It was so strange. I thought it would go away once I got some sleep but it didn't. Every time I think about her, it feels like there is a vice around my heart and I can't stop thinking about her."

"Al, seriously? This is what you're asking me about?"

"Yeah?" he uncertainly replied after a moment.

"What are you, twelve?"

"Mimzy, are you going to help or not?"

She sighed.

"Alastor, you have a crush on her."

A beat.

"I do not."

"Yes, you do. Maybe even more."

"I..." his brow furrowed, his breath left his body.

This was bad. This could be dangerous, detrimental even.

"Are you sure?"

"Butterflies in your stomach? Pains in your chest? Can't get her out of your mind? You're even breathless for christ's sake Al. It's textbook first pangs of love."

"Fuck."

Mimzy laughed.

"You're already pretend dating, what harm would asking her to do the real thing with you do? My bet is, she's probably been feeling the same thing about you. That tends to happen in cases like yours, I've seen it before. The whole 'fake love turns real' trope. It's overdone if you ask me."

"Mimzy, this isn't one of your trashy romance novels. This is my life."

"So live it radio man! Go get that girl."

Alastor was nervous, trembling even as he sat at the bar. His glass of whiskey had gone warm on the table as he watched Y/n dancing and having fun in the crowd. This was how it usually went when it was his turn to hunt, she'd have fun and he'd find a target. Once the target left, he'd grab her and they'd move out.

Tonight he was distracted and it showed. The man had nearly given them the slip. With Alastor's knife still sticking out of his shoulder, he had ducked away and started running. Of course that meant Alastor and Y/n had to give chase. They ran after him through the streets of New Orleans as he screamed bloody murder and Y/n's heels clicked definitively on the ground. He was thankful that the hour was late and no one was out and about, thankful the man was so drunk his words came out closer to garbled singing than pleas for help, thankful he was slowed by his consumption.

When they at last caught up with him, Alastor grabbed his second knife from his belt and, taking the man's hurt shoulder in his free hand, buried it deep in the man's back. He fell to the floor, sputtering, coughing up blood. In a few moments he was still. Alastor turned to Y/n, panting.

Her pretty eyes traced a path between murderer and victim a handful of times before a smile broke out onto her face. Before he could really register what was happening, she was doubled over in laughter, clutching her stomach.

Alastor watched Y/n, eyebrows raised as they both caught their breath. After about a minute, she straightened up and turned to him, wiping a tear from her eye.

"What?" Alastor asked with a wry smile, "What is so funny about a dead man."

"He..." she broke out into laughter again, "He... the way he ran! And we almost lost him?! Oh my god, Al, that coulda been so bad."

"The way... he ran?"

"He... didn't you see it? Oh my god, it was so funny. Like he was running in a three legged race with an invisible partner." she wheezed.

Alastor felt the heat pooling in his cheeks. Mimzy was right, it was time for him to live his life. A normal existence could coexist with his hobby, Y/n had already proved that to him.

"Didn't you see?" she asked again.

"No." he shook his head, "I was... I was watching you."

"You were... Al, theres no way you were." Y/n scoffed, "No way. If you were watching me, he would have gotten away. If you were watching me, it would meant that you were unconcerned by your oh-so-precious reputation being ruined. If you were watching me, it would mean..."

She trailed off as he took a step closer to her, his gaze flicking between her eyes and her lips. Y/n's cheeks flushed pink.

"Alastor."

Her voice was a dying prayer. Reaching a trembling hand up, he laid it on the back of her head, his fingers tangling with her hair as she looked up at him with wide eyes. Alastor closed the gap.

He had been so scared. Scared she would push him away, that she wouldn't kiss back. Even a little bit scared he'd just become the next name on her list of degenerate men she'd killed.

There was a moment, a split second, where his fears were realized. Then, she washed them all away. Hands buried in the lapel of his jacket, she pulled him closer, Y/n leaned in.

They broke apart after a moment, their cheeks flushed and utterly breathless.

"I-"

"Would you like to go on a date with me, Y/n?"

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Are you going to try to kill me again?"

"Oh please, I thought we'd moved past that darling."

Y/n smiled, still holding him close. Alastor let his hands fall onto her waist as they swayed slightly under the light of the moon.

"Yes Alastor. I will let you take me on a date."

"We will not be swingers."

Y/n laughed.

"Just had to make that clear."

"No, Alastor. If I am going to get you, I want you all to myself. Now, what are we going to do about that body?"

----

Next Part -> Cover Up pt. 2

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raynetheinsane · 1 month

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Batfam (and friends) as Henry Danger quotes

(Because im a nerd and love this show)

Damian: Tt, my parties arent that bad

Jon: Christmas. 3 years ago. 15 kids ended up in the hospital!

Damian: FATHER!!!

Tim: Damian! Were trying to study here *indicates to Duke and Steph, both clearly not studying*

Damian: I’m talking to my Father.

Robin!Jason: Dangit! All these jobs say i gotta have skills..

Dick: You have skills!

Jason: Name one.

Dick: You’re a great dancer!

Jason: No I’m not?

Dick: You could take lessons.

(More under the cut i just dont want this to be super duper long)

Bruce: How old are you?

Tim, trying to become robin: Im 13, I’ll be 14. On my next birthday

Dick: Ah so youre aging sequentially

Tim, extremely tired: Do you ever dream about sleeping?

Steph, extremely confused:…no??

Tim: good. If you did youd be dead.

Bruce: Lets ride.

Robin!Jason who is very new to this: Wha- Ride where?

Bruce: We’ve got people in the Jandy River that need saving.

Bruce: Come on.

Jason: You mean we’re going there? Together? Like right now?

Tim, extremely dirty and has a cut on his face walking into Drake Manor:

Jack, not paying attention: Hey Tim, did you get the job?

Tim: Yeah, just finished my first day.

Jack: So hows work?

Tim: Uh it was pretty… interesting.

Bernard: Hey, you never told us what you do at your new job

Tim: *just stares wide eyed silently*

Bruce: While we were patrolling, Poison Ivy stole packs of baby bottles, can you guess why?

Robin!Dick: Uhhh

Bruce: To flood the bottles with radioactive plant matter.

Dick: I would not have guessed that.

Jason: I see youre in your pajama pants.

Tim: Yeah its almost midnight, I was studying for this test i have tomorrow

Jason: What subject?

Tim: Puerto Rican history

Jason: Ah Puerto Rico… land of…

Tim: Puerto Ricans?

Jason: yeah..

Red Hood: Strike three.

Spoiler: That was only 2

Hood: Okay, don’t correct me in front of the criminals

Duke: Whats in the mug?

Tim, who just poured himself and entire pot of coffee despite hating it: Coffee.

Tim: To keep me alive.

Duke: no, no, no, no, you cannot drink this much coffee after work. This mug is comedically large!

Steph: I have the same dream all the time. It satrts with me getting a horse for my birthday. Then my dad shows up. Then the horse kicks my dad in the face!

Jason, helping Tim study: You want a good grade on your puerto rican math test?

Tim: history

Jason, who died before he finished highschool: Same thing

Non-Bat who needs the antidote for Joker gas or something: Will this hurt?

Black Bat: Yes, very much.

Bernard, talking about a criminal the Bats cant catch: Its not Batmans fault, he just needs a better sidekick

Tim: One more time.

Bernard, who knows: Just saying, I’d be way better at catching criminals than the current Robin

Dick: I’m gonna die..

Jason: Not in the house. If you’re gonna die, do it outside

Tim: I’m Robin.

Bernard: I know. I figured that out.

Damian: Todd, I wish to speak to you about something.

Jason: BABIES COME FROM THE BABY STORE

Oracle: Steph, come to Gotham Park right now!

Steph: noo, I’m not in the mood for trees

Oracle: did i ask you what youre in the mood for?

Vikki Vale: So, Spoiler, how did you catch Two Face?

Spoiler: I’d love to take all the credit, but it was really all thanks to my partner, Black Bat.

Vikki: Interesting. Black Bat, can you tell us more?

Black Bat: No.

It really bothers me the lack of Babs, Cass, and Duke worthy quotes there are 😔😔 also my personal favs show a lot and im sorry for that, but there will be more as i think of them, these are just eps 1-4, the rest will be posted like in a queue or something and as single quotes cus im eepy

#batfam #batman #robin #dc robin #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #tim drake #red robin #jason todd #red hood #batfamily headcanons #incorrect quotes #henry danger #stephanie brown #cassandra wayne #barbara gordon #source: henry danger

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evelili · 8 months

Note

I just finished your Magnum Opus, and it was super great. I especially loved the Pinkie chapter (which surprised me because she’s my least favorite character!). Anyway, do you have any mlp fic recommendations?

oh boy do i have a list for you, strap in!

if you read my magnum opus writeup, you may have seen i mentioned three authors that dragged me back into mlp. if you're interested in sciset (and what's probably the most popular eqg fic on the entire site), Long Road to Friendship by Albi is a longfic that started after the first eqg movie and is a rlly lighthearted read. i don't normally care for OCs but gosh if i dont accept Albi's version of trixie's parents as canon in my heart haha. if you're interested in pony adventure fic, i also rlly liked Sunset of Time, another rlly well done longfic ive carried in my brain since i first read it xd

the second author, Monochromatic, aka the raritwi authority aka someone who has a GREAT taste in editors, has written three of the most formative longfic ive ever read: The Enchanted Library, its sequel The Enchanted Kingdom, and Crimson Lips which i unfortunately can no longer link since she's taken it down, but i believe you can still buy physically through PFP if you wanted to take a gamble on it (it would be a very good gamble). apart from her longfic though i also adore some of her shorter works, including but not limited to The Choices We Make, a really interesting Pinkie study that's definitely shaped how i view her, Your Own Worst Enemy, which is just. peak rarity content, and Injuring Eternity, which while being one of her older works still has certain passages that wreck me emotionally on sight.

and the third author responsible for my magnum opus is the one and only Aragon, who i can not only recommend for his fics but ALSO for his blog posts and comics (see the comic index on his profile for links to all of them, as well as this amazing blogpost about his neighbour that is just peak comedy). he's also the writer responsible for the banger longfic Crime and Funishment which absolutely defined my writing aspirations for a few years and is the definition of comedy if you looked it up in my heart, as well as In Hindsight, yet another banger rarity fic, and Love Is In Doom which is just bloody, silly, stupid fun (and has sunset shimmer in it)

and then if we want to talk fics i love written by other authors, Sleepless Knights by r5h has my favourite brand of scitwi written right into the margins, Administrative Angel by horizon has one of the most amazing endings to an opening chapter ive ever read AND an amazing celestia, The Best Night Ever by Capn_Chryssalid is a fandom classic with a groundhog day twist on the gala episode from s1, Side by Side by Krickis is a feel-good rarijack oneshot w a focus on lgbt (specifically trans) themes, Wax Earplugs by Reedhoarse has a dysfunctional mess of an adagio dazzle that i adore, Merge Request by FanOfMostEverything has all the scitwi/midnight shenanigans you could ask for wrapped up in the relatable content of github hell, Guppy Love by PaulAsaran is a rarijack longfic with an incredibly realistic setting and an interpretation of mermaids that i love so much, Doused Flame by heartlessons has me handshaking on the "sopping wet pathetic relatable guy" flash sentry interpretation that won me over recently, 80 Days 'Til the World's Farthest Shore by Cynewulf feels like reading a professionally published short story (and i mean that in the best of ways, it's enthralling), and finally if you'll allow me to be self-centred a bit i also am very proud of my two oneshots Heartstrings and Something About Midnights if you wanted to check em out too xd

oops long post!! im not sorry for it, i hope you can find something in here that catches your fancy (or even all of it haha), there's soooo many incredible fics in the fandom it floors me every day that i can read all these incredible works for free!!!

#lili talking #mlp fanfic #i wish i had the energy to do proper reviews / recs but #most of what goes on in my brain after reading a great fic is a lot of screaming and biting at my cage and then becoming changed forever #average reading experience yknow

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vierrel41n · 7 months

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Cringetober day 2!

Prompt was self insert!!! I haven’t watched beyblade metal fusion since I was a kid but it was the first anime I ever watched and I loved it so much. I’m still kinda into it.

Lmao when I was younger I made a miraculous beyblade au 😭😭😭 looking back at it it actually went kinda hard if you wanna hear about it. Emile was a very famous undefeated blader but she got absolutely destroyed and shamed by master fu so she went into hiding 😹 that’s why Gabe wants to get him or smth. There’s more to it like combining parts from the ladybug and black cat beys to release some forbidden power like the Dark Nebula.

Anywayzzz I’m still coming up with a name for her but her bey is called midnight Corvus lol. All of the beys that I know of have constellation based names so ofc I used Corvus.

I know I haven’t posted much as of recently but that’s because I have midterms coming up. Already. DONT TAKE COMP SCI I ACTUALLY HATE IT!!! TELL ME WHY MY PROFESSOR ASKED ME TO USE GOOGLE??? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TEACH IT TO ME!!! Might switch to astronomy so we’ll see how that goes 👍🏾

I’ll catch up with Cringetober sometime after im less busy. Bye byeeee

#beyblade #metal fusion #madoka amano #gingka hagane #kenta yumiya #beyblade oc #cringetober #beyblade fanart

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cows-wearing-my-sweater · 1 year

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midnight, car lights

word count: 1245 warnings: none notes: ok so. i didnt plan on posting matty fic anymore but i had this half written anyways and writing this was comforting to me when i desperately need comfort so. i hope u all enjoy this dont kill me <3

Matty takes your hand in his, running and leading you down the street and to his car. The both of you are laughing uncontrollably, and you’re calling out for him to slow down before you trip over your own feet. Matty, always eager for a chance to be contrary, takes this as his cue to speed up. He’s still gripping your hand, though, not allowing you to slip behind. His car finally comes into view, a welcome sight for your racing heart and ragged breath. You both come to a halt, laughter still managing to escape your mouths despite the gasps for air between each of you. The sound of your shoes echoing through the quiet city street fills your ears in the moment of silence between you and Matty.

When the air finally returns to your lungs, you shoot Matty a playful glare. “When you said ‘I’ll race you there,’ I did not know that meant I’d be dragged along behind you like that.”

“Ah, come off it, that was fun!” Matty exclaims. “You said you wanted to get out of there soon as possible, didn’t you?”

You and Matty had found yourselves at the dinner party of some old acquaintance; the whole affair had been a bore and quite honestly miserable. You were eager to slip out of the sleek black dress Matty had practically begged you to wear, and instead spend the night alone with your lover. When you had finally found a moment to catch Matty alone, you schemed together to find a believable excuse for leaving early. The plan had worked and, hurriedly stumbling down the stairs to the front door, you stifled your giggles as he snuck a kiss to your neck. Upon meeting the brisk night air, Matty declared he would race you back to the car. Before you knew it, your hand was clutched in his and you were practically flying over the sidewalk.

Matty walks around to the passenger side of the car and opens the door for you, bowing dramatically as he ushers you in. He kisses your hand when you’re seated, gently closing the door as he says, “You can be the passenger princess tonight, if that makes up for it.”

You give him a satisfied smile at this. You kick off your shoes, heels aching just a bit, and start searching for the perfect music as Matty pulls away from the curb. The opening notes of Menswear come through the speakers, causing Matty to groan. “Darling, I love you very much, but we are not listening to my own voice tonight. Change the damn song.”

“I believe someone declared me as the passenger princess,” you deadpan.

Matty gives you the side-eye but doesn’t argue. Instead, he gives in completely; the moment you start singing along, he can’t help but join as well. You point to him and he points to himself while shouting “Why don’t you talk to Matty about it,” and suddenly the car is filled with your bad singing and Matty’s bad dancing. He stumbles through some of the words, but really he’s more focused on you than getting the lyrics right. The next few songs play through, all songs that you know like the back of your hand (you manage to slip in a few of Matty’s songs despite his initial protests).

Matty’s eyes flit back and forth between the road and you. Your eyes are closed as you sing and you seem to be glowing under the brief streaks of starlight that attempt to pour through the windshield. Matty reaches a hand over to rest gently on your thigh, his thumb rubbing soft circles over you. He quiets his own voice at times, relishing the sound of your carefree singing.

The two of you traverse the night like this for a long while, following the familiar roads back to your shared apartment. It’s nearing one in the morning, but you feel as though you could stay like this all night. Matty’s excitement at the music energizes you. One of the songs in your queue causes him to perk up, exclaiming “I fuckin’ love this one!” He starts to sing again – really sing this time, in the way that leaves you speechless. The passion in his voice is something tangible and it’s one of the most attractive details about him. He turns up the volume, drowning out all your thoughts aside from the lyrics and the burning image of Matty himself. You study the smile across his face as he belts out the familiar lyrics; you can almost hear it in his voice and you want to play it on repeat for the rest of eternity. You inhale deeply and let his presence fill your lungs. You let it fill your mind, your heart, your bloodstream. It’s everywhere, all encompassing. It’s wonderful.

The car pulls to a slow stop, the final notes of Just Like Honey fading out. Matty stops you when you move to open your door. He scrambles to get out of his seat first and walks around to your side, opening the door himself and extending his hand out to you. A cheesy grin is plastered across his face while he does so.

You let him help you out, placing a quick kiss on his cheek when you’re on your feet again. “Thank you, my love, I don’t know what I possibly would’ve done without you.”

Matty simply shrugs. “I’ve got to treat you like royalty, haven’t I?” he answers, walking to the apartment with his arm around your waist.

Not many words are shared in the short journey up to your floor. You lean your head against Matty, which he takes as a sign to press gentle kisses to the top of your head. You sigh with contentment. The energy that was so high just a half hour ago is beginning to die down, replaced with drowsiness.

You practically bolt to the bedroom when Matty unlocks the front door, all too eager to change into pajama pants and the soft cotton of one of Matty’s t-shirts. It’s a struggle to even get yourself to wash your face and brush your teeth; you can hear Matty humming softly in the other room, and your body is screaming for you to go rest in his arms.

Finally, finally, you can collapse in your bed. Matty enters the room as well, changed out of his clothes from earlier. His curls are slightly disheveled – you know he’s been running his hands through them, trying to muss them up against the tidy way he had styled them for the evening. He sits on the edge of the bed, admiring your tranquil state.

“Matty,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes?”

“Could you sing for me?”

Matty laughs softly. “Of course, darling.” He gets up and walks across the room to one of his guitars. When he returns to the bed, he’s sitting closer to you. You feel his hand brush through your hair, followed by a delicate kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are closed now, and you let the sound of his gentle strumming wash over you. Matty’s voice lulls you to sleep faster than any other sound possibly could. His words pass through your dreams throughout the night. You don’t know when you fell asleep, but when you wake up to the soft morning glow, Matty is still there, guitar placed on the floor and arms enveloping you.

#this one is a little lame but thats ok!!!!#love u guys btw thank u for the support #matty healy #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #fluff #fem!reader #naomi's writing !

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slayter-kinney · 2 months

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i've been trying to formulate how i feel about wad and this era of phandom since i finally got the chance to watch wad all the way through with my girlfriend last night and after sobbing violently following the smash mouth credits i think i have some semblance of a train of thought. long ramble incoming after the read more hehe

for context, i've been watching dnp for about 10 years, which for some of you is an extremely long time and for others is piddly. regardless, a decade of my life has been spent in varying amounts watching dan and phil and interacting with the phandom. and part of what i was trying to express to my gf after watching the show was that it really is a sense of pride to see the sad clown poster child for being, well, sad, to open up about his mental health struggles, to coming out, to making we're all doomed. i think this is a very similar reaction to the pride a lot of us feel for dan.

for me too, though, it's been the phandom (hi guys lol). I was really active in the phandom from like 2014ish-2017 (at which point i still watched videos as they were posted but i also just wasn't on tumblr as much and i had ~college~ to focus on), but that time was very formative teenage years for me during which i was going through similar mental health struggles, struggling with sexuality, regular ol' teenage demons, etc. and this sort of phandom revival has been making me feel this ridiculous nostalgia for those teenage years (even tho i was fighting for my life the whole time lol). i can sooo distinctly remember where i was when certain videos were uploaded, the feeling of being curled up in my bed at midnight in the summer with my iphone 5c catching up on the previous years' videos, making subpar edits on my phannie instagram while i was on a plane for my family's summer vacation.

having both the boys and the phandom (more) active again gives me that nostalgic feeling but with the feeling that everything feels So Much Better Now. i get the same excitement and rush watching new videos, sharing around edits and gifs, being insane with you all, but with the knowledge that i am older and i am better now. in a lot of personal ways i'm literally living the life i so desperately wanted when i was a teen and now i get to live it but with the same things that brought me joy when i was a sad 15 year old. despite the nostalgia, i dont think i would choose to go back to that time, but getting to look back on it now, and watch videos where dan and phil are unapologetically gay and happy and soulmate-y, see dan living his theatre kid dreams and is so so proud of his work, and to have this community of you all where we're all old(er) and queer and so proud of our dads (sorry). it's indescribable despite my best efforts to describe it. and yes i know i don't actually talk to a lot of you that's cause im awkward and bad at replying but if you've made it this far this is your open invite to start a convo with me in dms/ask box. anyways. i love you all. i love our boys. im grateful to be here with all of you.

#okay to rb / add your own thoughts if you’d like!#dan and phil #phandom #dnp #daniel howell #we’re all doomed #phil lester #amazingphil #mine #phan

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jinkiseason · 10 months

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zb1 as random things

a/n ; HI this is my first zb1 post so uhm PLZ go easy on me 💀💀💀 i also dont know jackshit abt writing for real people so 😜😜 also not proofread so might aswell kms if theres any mistakes /j

jiwoong

nighttime

jiwoong reminds me of nighttime. murmured confessions of love while half asleep, talking about whatever comes to mind so he can hear you for just a little longer. his arm is wrapped around your waist as you fall asleep.

hao

flowers

its probably the photoshoot influencing me but hao reminds me of flowers. shyly handing over the bouquet he got for you, watching you examine the beautiful flowers. his cheeks red as you thank him for the gift, he mumbles that it's no big deal as you invite him into your home.

hanbin

plants

hanbin reminds nina me of plants. you sit on his couch as he brews the both of you some tea, you look at the multiple small pots and can't help but wonder how he keeps all these plants alive. you ask him about it as he drinks his tea, he simply laughs saying "it's a secret"

matthew

cats

matthew reminds me of cats. you guys are walking home hand in hand after your date, there isn't much left to speak about until a cat catches your eye. it's meowing and hissing at another cat who seems to be running away, you giggle as you point at the feline. "you." "why am i a cat now?!"

taerae

sun

taerae reminds me of the sun. he watches you as you continue with your daily routine, getting ready for work. you catch glimpses of his face on the mirror as you fix your hair, he looks at you like you hold the sun in your hands and it’s almost overwhelming how much love he has for you. (IM SORRY IDK WHAT TO WRITE FOR HIM 😭)

ricky

moon

ricky reminds me of the moon. it’s midnight when he finds you at the balcony, body leaning on the railings as you look outside. the moonlight provides some sort of lightning as he makes his way next to you. "come to bed." he says, voice soft and laced with sleep.

gyuvin

noon

gyuvin reminds me of noon. it’s lunch break and everybody is gone doing whatever as you sit at your desk studying until you're nudged softly by gyuvin. he places a chocolate bar on your desk, smiling brightly at you. "your favorite, right?" he asks.

gunwook (platonic)

summer

gunwook reminds me of summer. it's the last day of school and everybody is collecting their report cards. you watch as gunwook approaches with a grin, holding his report card. "straight A's?" you ask, not surprised in the slightest. "i bet you'll study during summer too" you say teasingly, he rolls his eyes in response while smiling.

yujin (platonic)

sweets

yujin reminds me of sweets. you’re not sure exactly when this habit of his started, but everytime he sensed you were upset or feeling sad you’d always find your favorite candy on your desk accompanied by small notes. you don’t know when one candy started to make your day ten times better but you’re incredibly thankful.

#elifwrites ☆#zb1 reactions #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader

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yelenasdiary · 1 year

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/yelenasdiary/714573048620204032/so-you-know-how-i-dont-post-on-weekends-yeah

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!

Maybe a DKOL one shot where Nat decides to take R out to a bar for a lil action and also R doesn’t go out much bc she’s taking care of Dylan or working. All the attention goes to Nat, which she brushes off all the men’s advances. But then one man takes interest in R, but it’s quickly clear he’s being handsy and bold (just a dick and lowk a abusive). It gives R flashbacks to Kane and she starts to have a panic attack, but Nat calms us down. Maybe a lil dark Nat at the end where she “deals” with the guy 😏

I love how deliciously wonderful u balance dark Nat with soft/protective Nat so I would love to see that more!! THANK U HAPPY EARLY BDAY

Drabble || A Little Bit of Fun

Pairing: CEO! MobBoss! Natasha Romanoff x Single Mom! Reader (Platonic)

Summary: Natasha takes you out for a girls night

Notes: A night out with Nat would be so fun! I hope you enjoy this & thank you for the birthday message x So this is so much longer than a drabble lmao, whoops!

Different Kind of Love Masterlist

"Ready to go?" Natasha asked with a smile causing you to playfully roll your eyes at her, "Come on, don't be like that. Dyl will be fine with Bucky. If anything, Dyl will look after Bucky" Nat added with a chuckle as she grabbed your handbag off the dining table. "Are you sure about this? Clubs and bars haven't really been my thing since I found out about Dylan" you explained while quickly fixing your hair in the mirror.

"Which is exactly why we're going. Just a few drinks, maybe some dancing, some karaoke and a good time. You've been work a lot, you need a break. Let your hair down"

You frowned slightly, you never thought that Natasha, your boss for that matter would ever be one for a 'girls night' as they call it. "We'll be back by midnight, right? I don't want Dylan to worry" you turned to Natasha who nodded.

"Dylan is with Bucky, they are probably playing with his trucks, eating some take out burgers and I wouldn't be surprised if Bucky has Dylan sitting on the sofa with apple juice watching the football game".

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better" you bit your bottom lip in worry.

"Y/n, we are going out. Dylan is safe, he's fed, he's warm and he's in good hands. We are going to have a great time; besides, I could do with the different scenery from the bar at home".

With a sigh you gave in, grabbing your bag from Natasha's hands and following her out the door of your apartment.

It had been a good few years since you last went out like this, in fact, the last time was that horrible night that somehow gave you your biggest blessing. Natasha wore a black dress that hugged her figure perfectly and you knew right away that she'd be catching eyes from the moment you both stepped into the bar. You didn't mind though, you found it amusing watching Nat send glares at people who thought they had a chance at buying her drink.

"Before we go in there, I want you to relax" Natasha spoke as her driver pulled up outside the bar, "I am relaxed" you assured her. A lie. "You're not, you keep checking your phone and your knee won't stop bouncing!" Nat replied as she placed a hand on your bouncing knee. "I'm sorry" you looked at her, "the last time I had a night like this was the night" you admitted.

"I know, but I promise you, nothing is going to happen. You're with me, as if I'm going to even let anything happen" Natasha's thumb gently stroked the top of your knee. "Promise?" you asked. You just needed her assurance. Natasha nodded, "just give it a chance and if you don't like it, we'll go back to mine and finish the night there" the red head offered. You took a deep breath in and nodded, "okay, let's go have fun" you smiled softly.

----

To your surprise the night was off to a wonderful start, you and Natasha sat by the bartender who wasn't shy of stealing looks of Natasha. Of course, Nat was gaining a fair bit of attention as the night went on, it was a plus for the two of you with the amount of free drinks that were sent to your end of the bar but eventually Natasha was tired of the attention and just sent the men a look that could kill.

"Alright, tell me" you looked to Natasha as you took a sip of your cocktail, "all these men are basically falling at your knees and you're telling me you're not the slightest bit interested in any of them?" you asked. Natasha chuckled and shook her head, "I'm a lesbian honey, I'm surprised you didn't work that out" she replied before she downed a sip of her own drink. You took a moment to think and suddenly it all made sense to you why she never spoke about a husband, boyfriend or a celebrity crush for that matter.

"What are we doing at a straight bar then?" you asked.

"Because I'm not looking for anything, besides, I love the free drinks and disappointment on those men's faces" Natasha explained, "what about you? Have you thought about putting yourself out there a little? Now that Dylan is off to pre-school and all?" she asked.

"I didn't really get a chance to work that out, I guess. I mean, I make out with a few girls when I was in high school and I had a boyfriend at one stage but then Dylan came and I just put all of that to the side" you sipped your drink once more.

"Why don't you give it ago tonight? That guy over there has been eyeing you all night, lets buy him a drink" Natasha smirked as she waved down the bartender while you glanced over to the tall brunette guy who sent a smile your way. "Nat, I don't know" you mumbled as you shifted your attention back to Natasha. "Too late" Nat playfully winked at you.

"Hey there, can I get you a drink?" the man's voice spoke from behind you as you slightly turned to look up at him, "I think I bet you too it" you smiled as the bartender handed you a cold beer for you to hand to the gentleman. "Looks like you did" he chuckled, "I'm Noah" he added as he reached his hand out, you took it gently, "I'm Y/n".

----

Natasha watched from the bar as you finally allowed yourself to have some fun. You danced with Noah, he brought you both some drinks and hadn't failed to make you laugh as the night went on. It wasn't until just before midnight when Noah became rather handsy and tried to coach you to the back seat of his car. You gently pushed him away and shook your head, "No, I'm just here for some fun" you reminded the man.

"It'll be fun baby, come on. I've done the dancing and pulling jokes, let's just get out of here" he replied as he pulled you closer to him. The strong smell of alcohol sent your mind right back to that night, the cries you let out that were ignored only made matters worse. You tried to break free from Noah's hold, but his strength was too much. "Let me go! please, I said no!" You begged. Natasha saw your struggle and slammed her drink on the bar before storming over to the two of you.

"Let her go, she said no!" Natasha's voice came to your rescue. Noah looked at Natasha and released his hold of you, "Nothing but a couple of cheap whores!" He spat before walking away. You quickly turned to Natasha in a panic, your breathing quickened, your hands trembled and sweat began to form on your forehead.

"Y/n, it's okay, he's gone" Natasha spoke softly as she pulled you gently into her arms for a tight hug, "I promised you, nothing was going to happen" she reminded you as she rubbed your back which helped bring your panic attack to a close. She held you until you felt safe enough to pull away.

"Can we please go?" you asked softly in hopes not to disappoint your friend, she nodded, "I'll walk you to the car then I'll come back and pay the bill" She led you out of the bar following behind you for protection. Once in the car, Natasha reminded you she was just going back to pay the bill she racked up while you were busy and that she'd be back in just a moment. Of course, she told her driver to lock the doors which helped keep you grounded.

"A couple of cheap whores huh?" Natasha walked confidently up to Noah, "that's what I said, didn't I?" Noah looked the red head up and down before taking a mouthful of his beer. Natasha took this moment to punch the male in the face, the glass in his hand shattering, leaving pieces in his hand and face.

"You crazy son of a bitch!" he yelled.

"If I ever see you in here again treating women like meat, I'm going to feed you to a meat grinder then to pigs. I'm not joking, when a woman says no, she means no!" Natasha spoke sternly before kicking Noah in his gentles, "does this cheap whore make herself clear?" she asked as Noah fell to the floor.

"You're fucking crazy!" he groaned as he covered his manhood.

"I'll take that as a yes" Natasha replied before walking back to the car.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #fanfiction #marvel #black widow #different kind of love

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