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nights-at-crystarium · 1 year

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Fragments Friday but in text format this time.

A fitting moment to repost my chapter 1 cover separately, now that the ARR arc has wrapped up.

The last beat is this ficlet, G’raha pov, ~1k words. Angsty af, implied magical suicide. May cause pain and upsetti. Go in prepared, or don't go in at all. Don't act like I didn't warn you.

───── ⋆✧⋆ ───── "He doesn't have to linger. Just give the command, the spell will float him, sparing his body the damage it would otherwise receive from remaining inert for gods know how long, the artificial slumber wash over.

Forever."

Preparing for a catnap in the Crystal Tower, G'raha takes a moment to look back when he really, really shouldn't.

───── ⋆✧⋆ ─────

The humanly impossible amount of ancient knowledge churns in his head, comforting him so strangely. He knows what he's supposed to do, it's no more complicated than flipping a switch. He knows everything.

Except...

Does he ever wake up?

Is this really as brilliant as it seemed some minutes ago?

Generations will change, the Tower will stay intact, just as the public knowledge about it, and when that mythical Right Time comes, someone finds a way to rouse him.

He'll be fine.

Right?

His throat dries up. Somewhat out of place, a thought that he didn't even bother snatching a flask of water makes him crouch right where he stood.

"You'd better think of me. You'd better miss me."

No way the Warrior of Light was genuine. The time they've spent together, the kiss, it has to matter to him at least one little bit?

Of course it was bluff! Just a friendly jab. His own way of saying "well, screw you too" because he does care.

Right?

G'raha curls up. Hugs himself tight because, probably, most likely, you fool, no one else ever will.

He doesn't know Vivi as well as he believed. Vivi doesn't know him. This entire summer, this incredible, fleeting thing that made him feel like he's been hit over the head with something heavy, they wasted all of it on frolicking around. It was fun, yes... Nothing brings you so close together as swapping the contents of the salt and sugar jars just before dinner at Saint Coinach's. It was fun. Fun.

G'raha has never shown his other facets. What if Vivi merely followed suit?

Ah. Empty worries now.

"Goodbye, Warrior. Find someone better than me."

A coward and a liar.

His body finally unclenches from itself. He stands up and wanders around, pointlessly, for he's able to teleport anywhere at will now.

His new home, - not tomb, he yanks himself, - is spacious and quiet. There are rooms and passages hidden from anyone but him, the caretaker of this place. When he's ready, he'll go to a room called Umbilicus. He doesn't intend to wait until he's exhausted, but... Just a little longer.

The perfect Allagan creation patiently waits for its master.

G'raha ascends the massive winding stairs, slowing down to look around here and there. Fresh memories pester him like flies.

What's Vivi up to? Dining at the Seventh Heaven? Perhaps back home already. Or wherever his wondrous life takes him next. Oh what he wouldn't give to-

G'raha gives himself yet another mental shake and rubs his face.

"Alright, enough. Umbilicus."

He remains still.

The grandiose structures of blue and gold loom over him. Decorative spires point at him like weapons. Surfaces that are polished enough to serve as mirrors show that he looks exactly like he feels: tiny and frightened. He wants to point and laugh at the reflection, the sound that comes out of his throat startles him back into silence.

"I am doing this."

Fists clenched and eyes shut, he teleports.

And there it is. A small room, oddly soothing after the open space of the main hall.

He doesn't have to linger. Just give the command, the spell will float him, sparing his body the damage it would otherwise receive from remaining inert for gods know how long, the artificial slumber wash over.

Forever.

His chest feels tight again.

This's it.

"I chose this. This's my destiny. This's my destiny."

Destiny, what a silly word to love. It always felt like a glorious path one takes to find the ultimate fulfillment. To rise like a new star.

Now that he's on the other side of the sealed golden doors... It's more akin to a dark maw preparing for a feast. No fanfare, no laurels, no one to watch a fool willingly walking down a cliff.

He shouldn't think of it this way.

And why, of all seasons, must it have been...?

He won't descend to comparing the end of his tale - the end of this chapter of his tale - to something as sappy as the last day of summer.

He inhales slowly, deliberately, yet his breath hitches on the exhale.

He whimpers.

Fear, grief, regret, like mad dogs off the leash. G'raha lets them pounce and knock him off his feet. He may even scream without worrying about being heard.

- I would've loved a different life.

A croaking, not-his voice.

He stands in the middle of the room and cries grossly, loudly, like a lost child.

What does it take to be a hero?

Now he knows.

Everything.

It takes everything.

Could he have ignored the pull? Could he still open the doors, live with shame, but live?

Promises don't go well with possibilities.

All of his being protests this choice.

This's why, he belatedly nags himself, he rushed all those people out of the Tower.

Be faster than doubt.

He smears the still-flowing tears with an irritated, hurried motion.

There's a spark of rage, and he grasps at it with all he's got. He only needs to reach out to the Tower in his mind, and so he does.

It responds instantly. A flawless link.

The aether around him concentrates, swirls and shimmers, gently lifting him in the air.

It's not cold and not warm either. It's right. He's suspended in the middle of the darkening room that begins to look like a sea of stars. The incomprehensible power and knowledge are coursing through him, for he's the heart of the Crystal Tower.

His recent outburst feels so distant now, although his cheeks are still wet. He smiles vaguely and closes his eyes.

"Goodnight, Eorzea."

───── ⋆✧⋆ ─────

Credit to this fic which inspired me to word-vomit my own version.

My AO3 is here if you wanna leave kudos or comment!

───── ⋆✧⋆ ─────

Note: "Promises don't go well with possibilities" is a thick hint at G'raha and Vivi parting ways, not having bonded that much in ARR, despite the intimacy of their gremlin moments. G'raha's all about promises and Vivi's chaotic nature is endless possibilities. I generally use this as their ship name.

#ffxiv #vivien rell #g'raha tia #wol x g'raha tia #wolgraha #ffxiv: fragments #fragment i: found and lost #fanfic #own: next lvl

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20th-century-bitch · 11 months

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House of Leaves: The Perception Theory

People apparently liked my last post, so this is another House of Leaves Theory I posted on reddit

Do you know when you first enter a new place, like maybe a new video game or a town you’ve never been to before, and you are in awe of the sheer massiveness of the place. And then over time, as you become more familiar with it, it shrinks down to a manageable size? All of that happened just within your head.

Hi everyone. Some in my last post suggested I write about some of the explanations I have for the “docility problem,” or “why does the house start out dormant and become more aggressive over time?” This is something that I’ve been brewing in my head for a while: The Perception Theory.

The Perception Theory states that the house is a sort of distorted mirror. Anything the inhabitants believe about the house is reflected and becomes true. This is not only about conscious perception but memory as well. Like I pointed out in the opening, new places feel larger. To the Navidsons, the house was a place to be conquered and controlled even before the supernatural events begin. They believed the house was larger, so it became larger - the first hallway. When first moving into a new house, it’s normal to discover new areas and rooms that you didn’t find or forgot about until after a while of living there. The family wasn’t consciously aware of every facet of the house - and were away during this time - and this created a “hole” that the house filled with a pitch black hallway.

It is to be noted that this “perception” element only affects humans. Hillary and Malory (if you forgot, I don’t blame you, but they were the family cat and dog) were completely unaffected by the house, and the motion activated cameras were not triggered by the first Hallway appearing. It’s something innate within us that causes this effect. Curiosity, imagination, higher order thinking, possibly.

This becomes the basis for a snowball effect. Now that the Navidsons’ perceptions of the house were skewed by this new discovery, the whole house grew by 5/16”, then there was the bookcase event, and then the echo chapters. As humans, we can use echo as a way to gauge how large a space is. When the Navidsons first hear an echo within their house, again, the perception is altered. Larger and larger the home grows… that’s until the second Hallway manifests. Again, it is a freezing cold area with absolutely no discernible features. An uncanny mix of a familiar hallway with something extremely alien and empty.

It reminds me of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Some have pointed out that the rooms at the end of the film that Dave resides in are as if an alien with a superficial knowledge of humans tried to build a “zoo” for them. It’s familiar, it’s human, but everything is in the wrong place. The lights are on the floor and all the furniture placement seems off. Rooms are mirrored and even time is warped. In House of Leaves, the labyrinth is like an entity tried to extrude a house without knowing what makes a house… a house. The inhabitants’ perceptions made it larger, but because they didn’t know what they would find so it manifests as nothing, void, the bare minimum.

It should be noted that there are two kinds of “furniture” within the house, doors and banisters. That significance is unknown to me.

The Perception Theory also explains why the exploration team’s supply cashes are destroyed. Halloway brings a gun, anticipating a monster or some kind of enemy within the halls. This causes scratch marks to appear on the neon signs and caches. They were destroyed because the team expected to find them destroyed. The buttons on their shirts disappear not because they were arbitrarily consumed, but because they were not being kept track of. u/kingshaux pointed out something else that was interesting:

Notice how the House only really starts acting like Holloway’s enemy as soon as he starts seeing/treating it like one, almost as if it’s offended/defensive, like a person.

The house reflected Holloway’s hostility onto himself, becoming aggressive towards him but also (attempting to) protect Wax and Jed in the door shutting scene. Holloway expected to be attacked and killed by a monster, but the real monster was him, being reflected back by the house. The teamed exploration occurred at the same time the place outside the hallways started to be referred to with terms aligning with a war. Bases, fronts, attacks, SOS, outposts… the inhabitants’ intentions went from exploration to war. After they find Holloway’s suicide tape, the house tries to consume everyone like it did Holloway. It’s now an enemy in their minds.

The spiral staircase scenes are a major point of the Perception Theory. First of all, it appears that they go down forever, so they go down for a very very long distance. It takes the team days to reach the bottom. But now they they’ve confirmed that there is, in fact, a bottom to it, it takes Navidson 5 minutes to walk down it. Because the perception that it was bottomless changed, the distance changed as well.

So why does the distance stretch so far when Navy tries to leave? Not only does it stretch to an absurdly large size, it’s also a metaphorical distance, as he becomes more and more distant from Karen and his family. Because his connection to the outside is waning. He is mentally consumed by the house at this point, ignoring his wife’s wishes to enter inside (even though it was to save the team, Navidson wanted to go back anyway) the Hallways. But Navidson’s determination wins, as he climbs to bridge that distance even if it might be in vain. He makes it back to Tom. He makes it back to Karen.

This leaves some questions. If Karen’s perception of the house was so fearful, how does she save Navidson in the end? If we assume the colonials weren’t expecting to find anything in the area, why did they find stairs? How did it consume Karen’s Feng Shui and/or did she forget about it? Where does the cat go? Why can the house only manifest doors and hallways?

I get that that’s kind of a lot of loose ends but I didn’t want to make this post too long. Thanks for reading and tell me your ideas.

#house of leaves #houseofleaves #house of leaves theory

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momentofmemory · 9 months

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Your reasons for Scott being your favorite really resonated with me, particularly in the way that you relate to his (criminally underexplored) depression and guilt. Reading others’ posts, it’s clear that there are many, many varied and personal ways that people relate to and/or see themselves in Scott. He’s far from a blank slate of a character (sorry h8rs), so I’ve often wondered why he’s so malleable in this way. Any thoughts? <3

OKAY SO LIKE.

this ask made me v excited pls bear with me.

weirdly, the first thing i thought of when i got your ask was this passage c.s. lewis wrote on friendship:

“In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald’s [Tolkien’s] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him ‘to myself’ now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald. Friendship is the least jealous of loves.”

because i feel like this is what allows people to bring out so many different facets of Scott but it’s still!! the same character!! like, some people are really good at bringing out Scott’s depression and some his anger, some his empathy and some his cleverness, and often some mix of all of them even if one aspect is at the forefront because all of those are things he is. i’ll never write the exact same scott that someone else can bring out, but also i write a slightly different scott than i wrote even a couple years ago because of where i’m at and because my understanding of him has grown from analyzing scenes and reading other people who love him.

i also, like. i feel like so much of what makes a rounded character is the lovingness by which they were portrayed, and while the writing often failed scott, posey just didn’t. he loved scott so much, and you can tell by the way he pours everything into acting him, especially the microexpressions and body movements and the way he talks about him. and when someone loves something/someone it’s like. i dunno. i feel the fastest way to fall in love with a thing is to talk to someone who already has? bc you hear them talk about it and your brain just goes !!!! and you want to love it that much, too.

which is another reason it's been so lovely to see all the ways people love scott in the tag the last couple days 🥰 thank you for letting me add another!

#scott mccall #teen wolf #personal #asks #tyler posey

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roseianxiety · 1 year

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On The Balcony

Ship: Logince

Content Warning: None

Word Count: 1,200+ words

AO3

Prev - Next

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Stars littered the dark night sky and a crescent moon shone above him. The cool winter breeze brushed against his hair, cooling off some of the sweat that clung to his skin. The night air was crisp, and he felt cold but not uncomfortable. All around him was silent, no one else in the area besides them.

Logan breathed out heavily, leaning on the railing for support while looking up at the stars. He closed his eyes for just a moment and took another deep breath, enjoying the feeling of fresh air after being cooped up indoors for too long.

He opened his eyes again when he heard footsteps coming towards him followed by a disembodied voice.

"Why are you awake this late, nerd?"

Logan retorts but doesn't look back at his newly arrived company. "I could say the same thing about you, Roman.". The footsteps came closer and Logan knew that Roman must've had a purpose for approaching him.

"What do you want?"Logan queries, turning so now they are facing each other. Roman's face is illuminated with a white glow from the light of the moon. "What? Am I not allowed to be on the balcony? I just wanted to look at the stars."Roman hums, standing beside Logan before looking up at the sky.

Then there was silence, both of them focused on the sky, watching the twinkling stars.

"The stars are beautiful, aren't they?"Roman asked out of a sudden, glancing at Logan. His eyes seemed to bore into Logan's soul, and it made Logan feel slightly uneasy but he couldn't bring himself to look away from Roman's penetrating gaze. "They're quite lovely."He replies softly, unable to keep himself from staring into those brown irises for longer than what would be considered polite.

Roman chuckled in response and then turned his head to look at the sky again. Logan did the same, following Roman's movements and noticing how close they were standing. Their shoulders nearly touched and Logan's breathing picked up pace for a reason he wasn't entirely sure of.

Roman spoke up softly, his expression rather melancholic.

"Things have changed a lot, haven't they?".

Logan blinked, surprised. "What do you mean?". He said hesitantly, his gaze returning to Roman's eyes. This time, Roman looked directly at Logan and smiled lightly but there was something else behind that smile.

"Well, you know... everything that's happening to Thomas. Nico arriving in his life and probably going to make him feel amazing. I can sense the sweet sweet romance blooming already."The creative facet chuckled and shook his head slightly as if trying to get rid of some sort of invisible fog that clouded over his mind.

When he finally looks back up at Logan, the soft smile hasn't disappeared from his lips and neither has the sparkle in his eye.Logan only mutters as he looks away from Roman's piercing stare. "Perhaps... but we cannot be too sure with that.". He doesn't notice the way Roman frowns at his answer or the way that his gaze turns distant. "You're such a party pooper.".

"I'm merely being realistic rather than believing in idealistic fantasies, Roman."Logan replies, still avoiding Roman's eyes. Roman only scoffed at his statement but didn't make some sort of remark (which confused Logan slightly).

"Why are you really here, Roman?"Logan questioned, breaking the silence which had settled between them again. There was an odd atmosphere surrounding them; Logan thought he could detect hints of something but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

Roman didn't respond to his question as if he was avoiding it. He remained quiet as he continued gazing up at the starry sky. Logan sighed and rubbed his temple. "Why are you here?".

Roman scowled, finally facing Logan. "I told you, I'm here to look at the stars. Why do you care anyway?". He sounded defensive and annoyed and Logan felt like hitting something.

"You are my acquaintance and we basically live together, it's only reasonable that I am concerned with your well being".Roman huffs and rolls his eyes at Logan's reply.

He seems to be thinking and Logan is waiting for his answer. After several minutes passed, they remained quiet. The silence was starting to get awkward and it was making Logan slightly uneasy.Finally, Roman answers him."I couldn't sleep...". Roman pauses for a moment before looking down at his feet.

"There are days where I find myself unable to sleep. Certain thoughts run through my head that keep me up. Things I'd rather forget about....". He trails off for a moment before sighing.

"This is stupid. What about you? Why are you still up this late?"Roman asks, changing the subject.

"I suppose, I am going through the same thing as you.".

Roman nods in understanding and they fall into an almost comfortable silence. They stand side by side for a few moments until Roman speaks again.

"Maybe the two of us are not too different after all."

"Hm? And why might that be?"Logan inquired, curiosity getting the better of him. Roman smirked mischievously, and shrugged. "I don't know.".

"You are an idiot."Logan says, a giggle escaping his lips. It surprises even him, but Roman chuckles along nonetheless.And they stay like that for a little bit longer. Enjoying each other's company without any need for words, without pressure or anything else that would disrupt their serene peace. It was quiet and tranquil and perfect.

Roman spoke up suddenly once again, glancing at Logan. "We should dance. Do you know waltz?". Logan sighs, internally face palming. "Okay now, I regret hanging out with you.".

Roman grins mischievously and grabs him by his wrist and pulls him close. "Well you're stuck with me for the moment, you may like it or not."He remarks, spinning Logan around. Logan huffs but let the other do so anyway.

The rest of the night went on like this with Roman leading Logan around the dance floor/balcony, holding onto his wrists and swaying with him gracefully. Logan unknowingly smiles fondly at Roman, who was smiling right back, his brown eyes shining brightly as he laughed and moved with Logan, dancing despite the lack of music. The moonlight illuminated them as they danced and laughed on the balcony, comfortable with each other's presence.

They eventually slowed down their dance, their bodies still attached closely to each other and their faces mere inches apart. They stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other, eyes sparkling. Neither daring to speak up yet unwilling to break contact completely. Both of them slowly leaned closer slightly but after realizing what they were doing, they jerked away from each other, their cheeks tinted with pink.

"That was.. lovely, thank you, Roman."Logan murmurs, a genuine smile on his lips. Roman returns his smile shyly, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Thank you as well, Logan.".

They stare at each other a moment more before deciding that they should get going, after all, it was 1 o'clock already.

They parted ways and bid goodnight to each other before heading to their rooms to return to their beds for the night.

Both of them finally can sleep peacefully with smiles on their faces, and perhaps dreaming of each other.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #roman sanders #logince #logince fanfiction #tss roman #tss logan #vee writes #might turn this into a series

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comingyourlugubriousness · 2 years

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1. Do you have a song that represents your oc? :3c i must know Yumes theme song~

I have a whole playlist for Yume honestly lol. This is hard I have a few top ones like 'Waiting on Miracle" (blame @bunnwich), Dreamy Night by LilyPichu, HomeMade Kazuko "Thank you", there's so many songs that I think can represent Yume in different ways and facets of their journey and personality.

But the first song I ever associated with Yume is "Drawing Days" an opening from an anime called Hitman Reborn. The lyrics I think really resonate with their general mindset/ journey.

youtube

Lyrics and explanation under the cut:

Without their wings, a fallen angel spoke these words to me “The map to bring you home again is nowhere to be seen” So powerless, I took my palette and my paintbrush A little water brought my colors back to life

This lyric makes me think of Yume arriving to Twisted Wonderland and being told by Crowley/the mirror that there currently is no way to get them back "home" (where ever that is for Yu). Yume feels helpless and alone and scared; but despite all that they do what they can to make the best of this bad situation. And that if Crowely can't find a way home for them, Yume will try to do it themselves. Create their own map home.

Even if these eyes through which I see should lose their light Know that I will always keep on drawing If this arm which I create with should be drained of all its might Know that I will always keep on drawing

The first chorus, which basically gives the idea that even if things get hard, Yume struggles, and they go through tough times at the end of it all their not going to give up. They're going to keep "drawing", no matter how tough it gets. This makes me think of how in general they struggle with their new life and then pretty soon their dreams and visions.

A cat appeared, a stray that clearly mocked me as I fell He laughed at how, I struggled now just to support myself Upon the palette sitting so narrowly in my hands My colors separated, I feel my passion grow

This line is interesting because it makes me think of two characters. One more obviously is Grim and how at first he and Yume didn't start off on the best foot. But another one being Ace, who mocks Yume and his brothers when they are first working at NRC as janitorial staff (and they aren't officially students). This is really kind of the real start to Yume and his brother's whole journey as Ace is unofficially the first friend they meet. Even if they wouldn't call him that at first.

Through him, they meet Deuce, then Heartslabyul , etc. The colors separate, and the students at NRC are no longer just a blur of people to Yume, slowly they start to become separate and distinct people whom Yu begins to care for.

Even if the world is feeling cold and oh so dark Know that I will always keep on drawing, I’ll create a burning picture as the sun ignites its spark, Know that I will always keep on drawing

A reiteration of the first chorus. The overblots, the history of Twisted wonderland, and all the private research they do to help their brothers get home and find the places they belong. To find the truth of what's happening, with them and their powers? They're going to keep going.

For someone else’s sake is there something I can do yet? Whatever it may take, I will do it from now on

Yume gets to a point where their willing to do whatever it takes to help the people they love, even at harm to themselves. Their circle of friends and family has expanded more than they could imagine. They feel that they don't have much to offer as a person and deal with their own insecurities about that. But as they meet more people in NRC and see the hardships and tragic pasts they had, Yu wants to be there for them, connect with them, and help if they can.

Now everything, is painted brightly and so colorful A prayer that rings, with every wish we want to be fulfilled from now on

This line represents that Twisted Wonderland has become a home of sorts to Yume, which is what they have been seeking all along. A place to belong with people they care for. It's not a bleak world full of strangers and people that don't care about them, like it was at first. Is colorful and bright! Full of their friends and newfound family and even a person they love! They have a home now, and they can now start thinking about what they truly want from the future.

Sorry this got long I have so many thoughts about Yume ^o^!

#yume ume #this got so long #twst oc #disney twst #twisted wonderland oc #disney twisted wonderland #yuusona #twst mc #yume lore #twst ocs #twst wonderland

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nasa · 3 years

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NASA Spotlight: Astronaut Mike Hopkins

Michael S. Hopkins was selected by NASA as an astronaut in 2009. The Missouri native is currently the Crew-1 mission commander for NASA’s next SpaceX launch to the International Space Station on Nov. 14, 2020. Hopkin’s Crew-1 mission will mark the first-ever crew rotation flight of a U.S. commercial spacecraft with astronauts on board, and it secures the U.S.’s ability to launch humans into space from American soil once again. Previously, Hopkins was member of the Expedition 37/38 crew and has logged 166 days in space. During his stay aboard the station, he conducted two spacewalks totaling 12 hours and 58 minutes to change out a degraded pump module. He holds a Bachelor of Science in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Illinois and a Master of Science in Aerospace Engineering.

He took some time from being a NASA astronaut to answer questions about his life and career! Enjoy:

What do you hope people think about when you launch?

I hope people are thinking about the fact that we’re starting a new era in human spaceflight. We’re re-opening human launch capability to U.S. soil again, but it’s not just that. We’re opening low-Earth orbit and the International Space Station with commercial companies. It’s a lot different than what we’ve done in the past. I hope people realize this isn’t just another launch – this is something a lot bigger. Hopefully it’s setting the stage, one of those first steps to getting us to the Moon and on to Mars.

You served in the U.S. Air Force as a flight test engineer. What does that entail?

First off, just like being an astronaut, it involves a lot of training when you first get started. I went to the U.S. Air Force Test Pilot School and spent a year in training and just learning how to be a flight test engineer. It was one of the most challenging years I’ve ever had, but also one of the more rewarding years. What it means afterwards is, you are basically testing new vehicles or new systems that are going on aircraft. You are testing them before they get handed over to the operational fleet and squadrons. You want to make sure that these capabilities are safe, and that they meet requirements. As a flight test engineer, I would help design the test. I would then get the opportunity to go and fly and execute the test and collect the data, then do the analysis, then write the final reports and give those conclusions on whether this particular vehicle or system was ready to go.

What is one piece of life advice you wish somebody had told you when you were younger?

A common theme for me is to just have patience. Enjoy the ride along the way. I think I tend to be pretty high intensity on things and looking back, I think things happen when they’re supposed to happen, and sometimes that doesn’t necessarily agree with when you think it should happen. So for me, someone saying, “Just be patient Mike, it’s all going to happen when it’s supposed to,” would be really good advice.

Is there a particular science experiment you enjoyed working on the most while aboard the space station?

There’s a lot of experiments I had the opportunity to participate in, but the ones in particular I liked were ones where I got to interact directly with the folks that designed the experiment. One thing I enjoyed was a fluid experiment called Capillary Flow Experiment, or CFE. I got to work directly with the principal investigators on the ground as I executed that experiment. What made it nice was getting to hear their excitement as you were letting them know what was happening in real time and getting to hear their voices as they got excited about the results. It’s just a lot of fun.

Space is a risky business. Why do it?

I think most of us when we think about whatever it is we do, we don’t think of it in those terms. Space is risky, yes, but there’s a lot of other risky jobs out there. Whether it’s in the military, farming, jobs that involve heavy machinery or dangerous equipment… there’s all kinds of jobs that entail risk. Why do it? You do it because it appeals to you. You do it because it’s what gets you excited. It just feels right. We all have to go through a point in our lives where we figure out what we want to do and what we want to be. Sometimes we have to make decisions based on factors that maybe wouldn’t lead you down that choice if you had everything that you wanted, but in this particular case for me, it’s exactly where I want to be. From a risk standpoint, I don’t think of it in those terms.

Can you describe your crew mate Soichi Noguchi in one sentence?

There are many facets to Soichi Noguchi. I’m thinking about the movie Shrek. He has many layers! He’s very talented. He’s very well-thought. He’s very funny. He’s very caring. He’s very sensitive to other people’s needs and desires. He’s a dedicated family man. I could go on and on and on… so maybe like an onion – full of layers!

Star Trek or Star Wars?

I love them both. But can I say Firefly? There’s a TV series out there called Firefly. It lasted one season – kind of a space cowboy-type show. They did have a movie, Serenity, that was made as well. But anyway, I love both Star Wars and Star Trek. We’ve really enjoyed The Mandalorian. I mean who doesn’t love Baby Yoda right? It’s all fun.

How many times did you apply to be an astronaut? Did you learn anything on your last attempt?

I tried four times over the course of 13 years. My first three attempts, I didn’t even have references checked or interviews or anything. Remember what we talked about earlier, about patience? For my fourth attempt, the fact is, it happened when it was supposed to happen. I didn’t realize it at the time. I would have loved to have been picked on my first attempt like anybody would think, but at the same time, because I didn’t get picked right away, my family had some amazing experiences throughout my Air Force career. That includes living in Canada, living overseas in Italy, and having an opportunity to work at the Pentagon. All of those helped shape me and grow my experience in ways that I think helped me be a better astronaut.

Can you share your favorite photo or video that you took in space?

One of my favorite pictures was a picture inside the station at night when all of the lights were out. You can see the glow of all of the little LEDs and computers and things that stay on even when you turn off the overhead lights. You see this glow on station. It’s really one of my favorite times because the picture doesn’t capture it all. I wish you could hear it as well. I like to think of the station in some sense as being alive. It’s at that time of night when everybody else is in their crew quarters in bed and the lights are out that you feel it. You feel the rhythm, you feel the heartbeat of the station, you see it in the glow of those lights – that heartbeat is what’s keeping you alive while you’re up there. That picture goes a small way of trying to capture that, but I think it’s a special time from up there.

What personal items did you decide to pack for launch and why?

My wedding bands. I’m also taking up pilot wings for my son. He wants to be a pilot so if he succeeds with that, I’ll be able to give him his pilot wings. Last time, I took one of the Purple Hearts of a very close friend. He was a Marine in World War II who earned it after his service in the Pacific.

youtube

Thank you for your time, Mike, and good luck on your historic mission! Get to know a bit more about Mike and his Crew-1 crew mates Victor Glover, Soichi Noguchi, and Shannon Walker in the video above.

Watch LIVE launch coverage beginning at 3:30 p.m. EST on Nov. 14 HERE.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

#launchamerica #nasa #spacex #crew1 #astronaut #rocket launch #space #science #STEM #Air Force #us military #hope #resilience #Spotlight

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pale-silver-comb · 4 years

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So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals.

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong.

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day.

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.)

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon.

#leverage #leverage ot3 #parker #alec hardison #eliot spencer #sophie devereaux #nate ford #talk leverage to me

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teyvattherapist · 3 years

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Tea Prompts!

Link to the prompts here :)

Tags: Kaeya, Albedo, Diluc, Dainsleif, Tartaglia x gn!reader(separate), fluff mostly, angst if you s q u i n t, Diluc/Kaeya story spoilers

milk tea; what are their kisses like?

Kaeya Kaeya kisses like an avalanche, sudden and passionate and heavy. He’s not coy, he’s not slow, he knows what he wants and his kisses reflect that. Pulls you in by the waist or cups your cheeks and tilts your face to his. He tastes faintly like wine, which is funny, because his kisses leave you breathless and intoxicated, wanting more.

Dainsleif Slow and meaningful, every kiss has a place and a time. A reason behind it. He’s touch starved and afraid and that shows in the way he grips your jaw and holds you close as he kisses you like it’ll be the last time every time. He doesn’t know the meaning of soft, there’s only you, and him, and his never ending quest to defeat the Abyss. He tastes like the mixed drinks he consumes at night and during the day he tastes faintly of something you couldn’t begin to explain.

Tartaglia His kisses are suffocating and are never short or without some sort of battle for dominance. He kisses like the ocean, pulling you down and washing over you with his essence. He tastes like how you imagine victory would taste, it's all very interesting. He’s a lot of tongue and teeth and gripping you tight no matter who is watching, he doesn’t care, he just wants to show you how he feels, and oh boy do his kisses somehow always convey how he feels.

Diluc Heated and needy, so so needy. He’s touch starved but in a really different way than Dainsleif. Away from prying eyes he’s touchy and needy, hands roaming your body, your hair, you. He’s so warm and he tastes like cinnamon hearts. Diluc insists one hand must be in his hair at all times when he’s kissing you, and his hair is so soft and fluffy it’s hard not to indulge. In public he prefers chaste kisses but he’s not above pulling you away for a proper kiss.

Albedo Experimental, curious, it changes every time. He always tastes of chalk and the lollipops he steals from his fellow captain’s desk. A surprising amount of less lip on lip action, he likes to roam with his mouth, find out what makes you tick, where to kiss to get certain reactions. Sometimes he’ll reenact a scene he read in one of Lisa’s romance novels. He’s just curious and his kisses and their always changing nature certainly reflects that.

peppermint tea; what do they get excited about?

Kaeya Kaeya is versed in a lot of things. Perfume making, hand to hand combat, horse training, how to read body language, wine in food, wine in drink form, wine in general. But nothing quite gets him excited like a good chat about the wine making process. He learned from his adopted father what goes into making a good wine, and perhaps he’s not part of that family anymore.. But he still remembers how they do it and the intricacies always excite him. So much goes into a fine wine you would not believe- And look at that, he’s been talking for the last hour and for once Diluc isn’t annoyed. You win :)

Dainsleif History, ohhhh my archons. He can talk about history all night if you let him. He talks with his hands when he’s excited about something, drops whatever he’s holding to start gesturing wildly like how the French do? It's cute. Besides history though, he knows, much like Kaeya, quite a bit about alcohol and has no qualms discussing what makes a fine drink. And beyond those two facets of his personality. You’ll find he gets quite excited over.. Flower crowns? Make him one and his eyes light up, star pupils widening as he puts it on. You swear the stars became hearts for a second there..

Tartaglia Man loves fishing like all the chads do. Can talk about fishing all day. Can talk about battle strategy all day, too. And how fishing is good battle practice- Focus, Ajax. Right! He likes dogs, feeling their soft fur between his fingers. He also gets really excited when you ask about his family. He’s pulling out his wallet where he has at least two dozen photos of his siblings and parents. He’s got a massive family, you realise very quickly as he lists their names and little things about them. It’s the only time you’ve ever seen his dull eyes shine, even though it's just a smidge. There’s a shine when he talks about his family.

Diluc Tell him you’re thinking of learning the piano and watch how quickly he pulls his gloves off and leads you to the grand piano in the winery. Invites you to sit beside him so he can teach you the basics. He’s incredibly skilled at piano, and wants you to share in his hobby. Can talk about pianos all day, apparently he knows how to fix them too? Even if pianos are dull to you, indulge him. The way he lights up is to die for, he’s not one for idle chit chat, but pianos?? Man won’t shut the fuck up. Truly, it’s nice. To hear him talk so much

Albedo Another one for the mundane shit tbh. Flowers, light sweet foods, science, dusty old tomes, the truth of the universe- His curiosity is his ‘excitement’. He doesn’t show excitement like the others but you can tell he’s excited when he’s talking about a species of flower and his words sort of slur together as he talks at a fast monotonous pace. Or when he finishes an experiment and you’re the first person he runs to with the results like he just uncovered some great big thing(everything is a great big thing in pursuit of the truth!) You’ll notice that he actually really wants to share his curiosity with you. You. You make him excited, his favourite lab partner.

pomegranate tea; at what point did they know they loved their s/o?

Kaeya When he realised you saw past his lies. The “I’m fine, dove! What? Want my attention?” sort of lies. The moment you began to see past them, you started to hold him, but you never really pushed beyond letting him know you were there. That’s when he realised he had done the unthinkable. Kaeya Alberich had fallen in love, with you. And honestly? Screw the ancient plot. With you by his side, he could conquer the world, but he’d much rather wake up to your kisses instead.

Dainsleif Dainsleif hates to admit it, but he is the kind of man who falls in love with everything around him. The flowers that bloomed despite the harshest conditions, the comforting breeze, water against his skin, the stranger on the street he just passed. So he had always loved you in the way he loved everything. But he realised he really loved you when you traced the leylines on his arm, no fear, no hesitation, just adoration in your eyes. Watching you, he realised that while he loved everyone and everything in the way a guardian does. There was nobody he wanted to protect more than you.

Tartaglia Some may say it's when you bandage his wounds with worry and panic, when you show him that you love him. But really it's when you listen to him talk about his family, talk about how he actually didn’t like his job but he had to do it, for them, he says. And you never judge him. Running your fingers through his hair as he recounts his regrets, when the bloodthirsty warrior persona is gone and it's just Ajax, the boy who liked to fish and listen to stories. When you’re just you, the person who cares about him underneath his title. Love is such a strong word, such a strong feeling, but every time you look at him when he talks.. He loves you.

Diluc Another one for team loves too much, truly. He’s so scared all of the time. His family is gone, and he blames himself for it, he pushed Kaeya away, he couldn’t save his father in time. So accepting that he loved you was not something done easily. But watching you interact with his brother, being kind to someone he still loves who he knows is suffering. Your kindness as Kaeya’s smile falters just a little bit. It's then that he realises he loves you. And the moment the last patron is gone he doesn’t hesitate to bury his face in the crook of your neck and tell you how he feels, no matter how scared he is.

Albedo Love? What is love but a chemical reaction? Albedo doesn’t understand relationships let alone love. All he knows is his heart ticks faster when it sees you, the pulsating grows louder in his ears and it confuses him more than anything else. Watching you interact with Klee, smile on your face as the young girl shows you something or another. Albedo wishes to study this feeling, understand his diagnosis. Is he dying? Contagious, perhaps? Book after book and his answer lies in commitment and he wonders if he can commit. But then you look at him as he rambles on and on about a topic he’s well aware you don’t care about and he decides. Yes. He can commit.

#Kaeya x reader #Albedo x reader #Diluc x reader #Dainsleif x reader #Childe x reader #Tartaglia x reader #tea prompts #gn!reader #go hard or GO HOME #yes maybe im somebody with a lot of siblings and i just want to see them be brothers again do not LOOK AT ME.

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tearsofgrace · 3 years

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endings are hard... but they aren’t impossible

tldr; the good place fucking nailed the finale, supernatural completely and utterly bombed it.

tags: wc--4.5k, gif heavy, spn meta, the good place, supernatural finale, spn wank, all gifs are mine, if you read til the end there’s a pretty gif

so i recently finished the good place (i was watching w my family and we finally had time to sit down and watch the last season) and god fucking dammit that ending is FLAWLESS. literally flawless.

and because i’m, well, me… i spent most of the time during that hour long finale thinking about how supernatural could have had even a fraction of that and avoided so much heartbreak.

anyways. i decided to compare them. to REALLY compare them. to get into the nitty gritty of why the fuck the good place ending left me feeling, as the finale is all about, sated and complete. and why the spn ending left me confused, lost, broken, betrayed, unable to even enjoy my comfort show at all until a dear friend finally just watched an episode (8.08) start to finish with me.

so without further ado (always wanted to say that) here’s the good place/supernatural finale meta that no one asked for

comedy

we’ll start small. both these shows have excellent comedy. in extremely different ways… but still

in the good place finale, the comedy was perfect. whether it was jason reappearing in the forest, michael trying to get through The Door, tahani reversing the “hot bod” bit on eleanor, every comedic moment was actually pretty emotional and added something to the show. they deepened characters’ meanings, added to their relationships, and made the audience think as much as they made the audience laugh.

in the spn finale… the comedy was the pie gag. the whole sam shoving pie into dean’s face. beyond this being… like meta as hell (the whole prank thing) it doesn’t have any depth to it.

and to add salt to the wound, this “hilarious” thing happens RIGHT AFTER salmondean have a conversation about missing jack and cas that is equal parts flat and infuriating. the brothers, in particular sam about jack and dean about cas, should care more. this is their family. and family is everything to them. but, no, by all means pie dean in the face.

last lines

this one IRKS me. okay.

the last line of the good place "I'll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: Take it sleazy.” “All right.” is ICONIC. okay?

it’s a reference to season 1 that doesn’t feel fan-servicey. it’s kinda honestly emotional cuz it’s like a message to us, the audience. it perfectly completes michael’s arc. it captures the light-hearted vibe of the show while also somehow managing to be poignant. you can see it coming like the second before it happens but it’s also not the obvious choice. it’s just. goddamn it’s good.

the last line of supernatural…. is… “and cut.” not even said by one of j2. i mean i know it’s a meta show but COME ON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????????

now i hear you shouting wait but that’s just the end of the thank you message. okay fine whatever. in that case the last lines are “Hey, Sammy.” “Dean.” (i couldn’t bring myself to gif that moment)

i’m sorry but. that’s predictable. that’s obvious. that’s boring. that’s flat. sure, it celebrates the bond between the brothers. but like… that’s not what this show is about anymore. it’s not just about sam and dean winchester it’s about what they’ve created. it’s about the world they’ve saved, the family they’ve made, about how they always keep fighting but nope we get bland, boring, coulda seen ‘em coming from miles away lines for the very end. that’s fine.

montages

the spn finale is like 50% montages that don’t make sense and are poorly done and not emotional

the good place has a montage of michael being human that brought me to tears

timing

here’s another short section. the good place finale was 53 minutes long as opposed to the usual 20 minute long runtime of every episode. granted, the fandom of the good place is very different, but STILL there was no documentary telling the fans things they ALREADY knew (there was a short special after the ep, but the episode itself was still far longer than normal). it was 53 minutes of plot. of really fucking good not rushed plot.

the supernatural finale was… what 36 minutes long?? as opposed to the normal 40 minute runtime?? granted, we did get an hour long documentary of things we’ve all heard in cons and interviews a billion times so hey. take what you can get i guess.

character arcs

this is most of the meat of this meta. one thing we’ve all been harping on a TON is how they RUINED character arcs. soooo let’s go through and juxtapose some character arcs shall we

eleanor

eleanor shellstrop starts the show completely self-obsessed. she died getting hit by shopping carts while picking up margarita mix and let’s be real she’s a total icon. love her to death. she grows a ton, becomes one of the most selfless characters on the show, and starts to actually (jack forbid) CARE about things. it’s one of the most satisfying and relatable character arcs i’ve ever seen.

it’s not just her selfishness either, her character is super multi-faceted and complex, and i feel like even in the end we’re getting to know her better. she’s afraid of commitment, always worried about what others’ actions will do to her, loves the trivial side of life, is queer as fuck (as acknowledged by the show in a way that’s not harmful at all but also isn’t explicitly bi/pan/unlabeled/omni etc, allowing queer fans to see their own identity in her), and is all around a HUMAN BEING. her ending at the beginning of the show was her death. her stupid, trivial, meaningless death where she was, as she puts it, all alone. and her final ending ISNT that. yes, everyone goes before her. and i think that’s purposeful. to show that she’s grown enough that being alone in some sense is okay.

but she’s never TRULY alone. and in the end. the REAL end. janet is there. the whole time. because eleanor asked her to be!! she got over her crazy need for independence and simply asked for help. and eleanor dies an amazing person that has become selfless, has found joy in philosophy while still enjoying trashy content, has fixed her relationship with her mother, and has found a sense of completion. eleanor’s life ends on her terms, and it’s beautiful.

dean

alright. now just as you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy let’s look at dean winchester’s ending. you’ve heard it a million times, so i’ll be brief. dean was raised to be a hunter, a soldier, a killing machine with no feelings and no purpose. he was raised to die scared on a hunt, his life over because of some mistake he made because he will NEVER measure up. at least that’s what john and everyone else told him with the exceptions of some of his family (and family don��t end in blood). he started to accept that he didn’t have to have this. he started to realize that he could CHOOSE what his ending was.

the beautiful thing is, we never truly got to see what that was. i personally like to think it’s similar to the roadhouse michael locked him in while he was trapped in his own mind. a safe place for hunters, somewhere he (and cas in my opinion, but that’s not important) could settle down and still be in the life. it would be an amazing tribute to jo and ellen, and just all around a great ending. he wouldn’t have to be scared, but he wouldn’t have to conform to some apple pie facade of normalcy. and ya know what?? say that he died so he could have peace i dare you. because dean doesn’t find peace until sam is there anyway so i beg of you WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT.

dean winchester died scared. dean winchester died on a hunt. dean winchester died on one of john’s old hunts. dean winchester died not directly at the hands of a monster, but at the hands of a mistake. his mistake. dean winchester died without ever working through the trauma of his best friend in the entire world confessing his love in a final act of self-sacrifice. dean winchester died in a way that leaves a sour taste in my mouth and does not at all show the audience what he’s been through and how much he’s grown. dean winchester did not die on his terms, and he deserved better.

chidi

okay back to happy. chidi anagonye. by far my personal favorite good place character (don’t tell anyone i always say jason cuz he and i are very similar). chidi in the last few episodes is SO DRASTICALLY different than the chidi we meet at the beginning. he’s decisive, confident, self-assured, and it’s amazing to see. he’s not afraid of life anymore. he’s not afraid to make the wrong decision and forever alter his reality, because he’s okay with failure.

at the beginning, chidi was so petrified of life that… it killed him. and in the end, he’s completely at peace with every decision he makes, even the final one. yes, he considered staying for eleanor, but that just shows how his moral code and his compassion for others is still very much still intact. it shows the audience that you can be confident and decisive without being a selfish asshole.

chidi leaves the good place knowing that it’s the right thing to do. knowing without a doubt that his time has come. the old chidi never would have been able to fathom being that sure about something. it’s beautiful. it’s a development that can give the audience peace, can show them that this drastic of change is possible, and that chidi became a better person for all of it. chidi went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

sam

… this one might be controversial… but sam winchester. god i hated sam’s ending. at first i was kinda okay with it. like, okay fine he got his normal life. but, really, in the end that’s not what sam wanted. he started to realize that he didn’t need that apple pie, white picket fence life. he didn’t need the wife and the kids and the backyard and the barbecues because that is NOT sam’s personality and i will throw hands on that.

that’s not to say he doesn’t want some sort of romance, maybe even kids, but not in that way. he lets himself see that he doesn’t need to be defined by his rebellion to john. doesn’t need to be defined by going to college or any of those “normal” smart kid things because it doesn’t fit him. and that’s okay! but how does sam’s story end? it ends with a wife (that isn’t even important enough to show her face). with kids. with a goddamn white picket fence. we think he’s still hunting to some extent… but it’s not the arc we were led to believe would happen. it’s not this amazing leader sam that we see in season 12-14, uniting hunters and organizing them.

he had SO MUCH potential and they throw it away on a vanilla ending that shows only surface level pain at losing his brother. he doesn’t even invite the rest of their family to the wake for fuck’s sake. jared did an incredible job. pls don’t think i’m saying he didn’t. but that script…. sam winchester’s arc was cut short. he didn’t go on his terms, and he deserved better.

jason

jason mandoza. the only character that has ever embodied my complete dumbass energy to the insane extent that it exists. he went to hell for his impulsivity. he never thought before a decision. i aspire to be as reckless as jason while on earth. but he LEARNED. he got better, just like they all did. and by the end of the show, jason doesn’t need to be impulsive anymore. much like eleanor being left “alone,” the show does a masterful job with making him be the first one to go, capturing his old impulsiveness. but he chooses to leave. he takes his time in deliberation, waiting until a feeling of peace, of completion, of well, ‘true happiness’ (sorry cas stans, i’m right there with you) has settled over him.

the ending of his story is one of growth, just like all these characters have been. and the best part? the show makes it comedic in the most poignant and beautiful way, because it’s jason, it had to be funny. we learn that jason has been in the woods for like, eons, just waiting to go through the door because he wants to give janet a necklace. he’s learned to simply wait. to be at peace with… nothing. his torture was being a monk, but in the end, jason embodies those ideals. his arc comes to fruition in an extremely satisfying way. jason goes on his own terms, and it’s beautiful.

castiel

this one is gonna hurt like a bitch. castiel is my comfort character. he’s my role model. he’s me in a lot of ways. i love him. so fucking much. so excuse me if this is slightly incoherent. i’m actually okay with cas’ ending… in a way. because his actual ending as an on-screen character? perfect. self-sacrifice while coming out and professing his love to dean winchester. a little bit bury the gays, but let’s be real, it’s supernatural. and “happiness is in just saying it” has to be the most powerful way to think of coming out. it takes away the fear, it takes away so much of the pain that can follow. because the joy is in just saying the words.

it’s how this was treated on the show that makes cas’ character arc terrible (and we haven’t even gotten to 15.20). YOU CANNOT JUST IGNORE A LOVE CONFESSION. that is god awful writing and i will never change my mind on that. cas deserved his family to care about him. to at least address and be sad about the fact he was gone. jesus fucking christ after everything castiel deserved at least that. and then we go to 15.20. cas is in heaven. cas is serving god. cas is right back where he started. now, i’m coming off a little strong.

if the show had decided to show us cas and jack in heaven makin’ the world a better place… i woulda come around to it. i woulda realized that that’s not REALLY erasing 12 years of character development and cas realizing that his whole identity isn’t just him serving heaven and isn’t just him being an angel and that he’s so much more than all of that and he could still be happy as a human… because really he’s with his son. but they didn’t show us that. they barely even mentioned him. and to me. that counts as a bad character arc. and i’m sorry if you disagree. castiel may have gone on his own terms, but they treated that beautiful sacrifice with disrespect and disdain, plus resolved his arc by putting him back where he started. he deserved better.

tahani

*deep breaths guys this is a long post i’m sorry* anywayyyy tahani!!! we love tahani obviously. let’s talk about her arc, because it always kinda bothered me. throughout the show, we see all the other character’s growing and expanding their knowledge of right and wrong. and, don’t get me wrong. we see tahani grow a lot. but she makes a lot of the same types of comments and shit like that. but it’s how she treats the reactions to those comments. by the end of the show, she laughs at the caricature of herself that the others see. she isn’t looking for vindication in name-dropping, she just does it. she is far less self-absorbed, and is genuinely interested in those around her. she fixes her relationships with her sister and her parents in a way that doesn’t feel forced and actually feels like a beautiful, healthy family reunion.

she has a list and she does everything on it. it’s worth noting, that the things on her list are not at all what they would have been at the beginning of the show. most of them are humble “labor” type tasks, and all of them are in self improvement. tahani’s end on the show is not the same as everyone else’s. she realizes that she doesn’t need to be done. that there doesn’t have to be an end to self-improvement. and she becomes an architect. the writers perfectly embody her transformation from a self-obsessed rich girl who has never done a thing for herself and laughs at the lower-class to a down-to-earth worker that simply doesn’t want the journey to end.

it’s incredible how perfectly the writers were able to close off these character arc’s without it feeling forced, and without ignoring their character development. imagine that. tahani chooses her own way, and it’s beautiful.

jack

jack’s ending may be the only one that i’ve actually somewhat come to terms with. it’s not terrible. it’s not great. but it’s not nearly as bad. because ignoring that awful monologue about every drop of rain and shit, jack really does end up helping people. he ends up doing something that he loves and that makes the world a better place. and he doesn’t lose his personality in it. but. i dunno, that’s still his destiny, right? to create paradise. and this is a show about ripping up the rule book, about choosing free will above all else… so to have every single character just fulfill their destiny is cheap.

still… i’ll try to be unbiased. because really at the beginning of jack’s time on the show, he’s unsure what he wants. and at least, in the end, he’s sure. he has a wisdom that he’s always had but he’s now using. and i’m good with that. but what’s NOT okay about jack’s ending is the lack of on-screen family. jack learns that family is important. sam, cas, dean those are the people he cares about. and you’re telling me he would just NEVER see them again? and be okay with that? i know he rebuilds heaven with cas, but we don’t even get a story about him rescuing cas from the empty. and he seems in 15.19 to not be that concerned about it (after the amazing emotional scene at the beginning). jack should have cared about his family. he did. but they ruined that for him. so jack kline deserved better.

michael

oh man where do i start. michael’s growth is the biggest on the show. i mean. he starts as a literal demon and ends a human. he gets better, he falls in love with humanity (*castiel fan in me sobbing again*) and he chooses over and over to be good instead of bad. his whole arc is a classic redemption arc, and every single beat just gets better. he chooses selfishly to side with humans but in the end it turns out to be the best decision he could have made. because he develops emotions, he develops compassion, he develops a moral compass.

and his end reflects that. because to complete this arc of a demon becoming more human… he literally becomes human!!!! it fits so well. and he’s allowed to make mistakes and be happy and gain all that humanity has to offer. this just shows that human!endgame for cosmic beings that become more human WORKS SO WELL (and it shoulda happened for cas and jack that’s all i’m saying). michael went on his own terms, and it was beautiful.

eileen

oh boy… this one stings. because they brought her back, used her up, and we never saw her again. eileen was one of the best side characters on the show, and they rarely addressed her arc. she comes onto the show as a hunter seeking revenge, and gets that revenge in the same episode. her s15 arc is focused on what’s real and what’s not, with her relationship to sam admittedly being a central part of her character because… it’s supernatural and women can’t exist without that. but still! eileen grows throughout the show and in the end… we don’t even know what happens to her. it’s as if her arc wasn’t important enough to even glance at.

it’s as if the connections the boys make outside of each other mean nothing when in reality they mean everything. they prove that the co-dependency is behind them and that family doesn’t end with blood and that real connections can be formed between people that last a lifetime. eileen was a disabled hunter that was shown to still be one of the best in the business, and they didn’t even give her the courtesy of a goodbye. eileen didn’t go on her own terms, and she deserved better.

janet

this is gonna unbalance my list but goddammit janet’s ending was perfect. she was a not-robot, not-girl that should have been incapable of feelings. but throughout the series we get to watch as she learns first-hand about human emotions and processes them. she cares about the humans in her charge and fights for them on multiple counts.

in the end, we see janet come to terms with both her cosmic being side, and her human side. she never stops being with the “cockroaches.” she sees them all leave, she’s there for them while they’re there, and she also continues to speak her mind and live autonomously. janet was a non-human character done right. she lived on her own terms, and it was beautiful.

some honorable mentions

spn ignored (in the finale) chuck, amara, stevie, charlie, jody, donna, garth, bess, the other angels, claire, kaia, patience, alex, and the list goes ON in favor of focusing on JUST sam and dean. did none of those characters at least deserve a quick goodbye??????

the good place wrapped up multiple arcs i had completely forgotten about in a totally natural and not forced way. mindy, doug forester, (the mushroom guy, i know, it took me a second), pillboy, donkey doug, kamilah, tahani’s parents, eleanor’s mother, eleanor’s friends, chidi’s best friend, vicki, shawn, glenn, simone and so many that i’m forgetting all got satisfying ends that they totally deserved.

they even fucking resolved FROG GUY’S arc and gave him a real frog. that’s right. frog guy (jeff) had a better character arc resolution than dean motherfucking winchester.

heaven and hell

obviously in very different vehicles, both shows explore in depth the realities of the afterlife. and lemme tell ya, at the end of the day, one sits a whole lot better than the other.

the good place finale ends this quest for the perfect afterlife by saying that everyone can improve and that an eternal paradise shouldn’t keep you from eternal rest. they pretty much make me wish that this is what our afterlife looked like. they handle everything with care so it’s balanced precariously in a way that doesn’t give you anxiety looking at it but instead fills you with peace and faith in humanity.

supernatural addresses this series long battle between heaven and hell by creating a heaven where you drive for forty years without seeing the people (cough cough cas and jack not his parents) that matter to you and drink beer that tastes like shit. a place you can’t be happy or find any sense of peace until your brother has died and he’s there too.

and hell… well they barely even address it. there’s a new queen of hell i guess? but so what. it’s still very much heaven and hell in a way that’s the worst and hey plus to them… makes me wanna stay alive thank you very much. oh and purgatory is in shambles and not functioning properly cuz all that eve bullshit.

loose ends

whenever something is ending, you gotta tie up the loose ends. not in a “oh, we must wrap everything up and leave no stone unturned” kinda way but in a “wow, we should probably try to make this unambiguous because this is the last time we will ever see these characters” kinda way.

the good place does that. so fucking masterfully. all these side plots with all these different characters were taken care of all while focusing on the main six characters. we get to see how their intervention has changed everyone else. for example, mindy’s arc is wrapped up perfectly, with eleanor going to save her.

plus different running jokes like “take it sleazy” are wrapped up, we revisit really old callbacks like the original neighborhood, and all of it feels natural and in the moment. it feels like full circle in a way that doesn’t erase growth.

supernatural, on the other hand, left a million loose ends open. what happened to the boys they saved? where the fuck are jody, donna, etc.? did eileen make it back? cuz sam was pretty upset about that. what happened to it “being loud” in the empty? hell, what happened to the empty? what happened to hell? what about chuck? it woulda been nice to see just for a second what became of him. did charlie and stevie make it (i’m very invested in that relationship)? if we’re taking the original ending… why the fuck is jimmy there? did kansas just all,,, die?

i’m not saying they needed to address everything… but god a few wrapped up storylines besides the brothers wouldn’t have hurt

coloring

can i just… real quick… as a giffer lodge a complaint

the good place has beautiful vibrant coloring in the finale

spn has like bland washed out whatever the fuck that is coloring. it’s not even the dark early aesthetic cuz they dropped that it’s just… ew. so. do with that what you will.

conclusion

first… while writing this i realized just HOW MUCH it’s not about destiel… like believe me. i knew i wasn’t just pissed about destiel. but holy shit it’s not destiel at all like did i even mention destiel that much???? this was never about a ship. this was just a trash finale.

in the end. the good place writers knew what they were doing. they knew their fans, they knew their characters, they knew their world, and they knew how to wrap it up in a way that was satisfying and sad and perfectly fit the tone of the whole show. it wasn’t out of character or rushed, basically every loose end was tied up without the audience even realizing that’s what they were doing, and i feel happy and complete having watched it.

the supernatural ending was a betrayal. flat out. to the audience that has stuck by it in a way bigger way than the good place fandom. to the characters that have helped so many people. to the actors that have given so much of their lives. to the other members of the crew, to certain writers… all of it was just a slap in the face.

we deserved better guys. there are better endings possible. so i’m sorry. i really am. but i guess… that’s what fanfic is for, right?

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issaxcharlie · 4 years

Text

We say we're friends, we play pretend (1/2)

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem reader

Summary: Charlie and Y/N were best friends and a couple as teens, after their breakup they meet again 4 years later on the bootcamp of JATP and have to work together. Will something else happen or they are just friends?

Charlie must have imagined something like this could happen. Since Kenny discovered her 5 years ago, she has been a really close friend to the director, participating in some way or another in almost all his projects.

In front of him after years, Y/N Y/L, his childhood best friend and ex-girlfriend. The young actor is not going to admit that he saw every single one of her projects or how moved he was by her in each one of them, many times even thinking of maybe sending her a little message saying the incredible job she did.

But he never found the courage.

It’s weird to remember how he spent most of his life next to the woman, now one of the top youth artists with multiple musicals and movies on her hits list. They always had a strong bond, every single day together. Sleepovers, music classes, dancing classes, homework, parties, movie nights, hockey, illness days, pretty much everything. At the age of 15 they began a very sweet and innocent relationship that ended at 18 when Y/N moved to New York to work in her first leading role.

The break up was on good terms but painful, so painful that both preferred to lose contact completely than to have the other from time to time opening the wound again and again.

And there she was. As beautifil as ever, speaking happily with Kenny while Madison and Owen jump up and down, Jeremy smiles and Charlie looks like he wants to throw up.

“Y/N Y/L, my golden star. She is the official composer of the soundtrack, and she will be supporting you throughout the album process as well as helping Paul and me in other creative aspects, I know she is the same age as some of you but she has a lot of experience in this and all the necessary preparation so don't hesitate to get all the knowledge you can out of her."

Everyone introduces themselves until the guitarist is the only one left, luckily for him, he’s in voice rest these two weeks so he literally cannot speak.

They both look nervous but the moment their eyes meet their complicity comes out and both smile slightly.

“He’s Charlie, he is in voice rest but we are fans of yours. We cried yesterday watching your last musical, it was just brilliant." Owen lets out hardly breathing, Y/N turns with a smile to see the Canadian boy who wants to kill his friend and then commit suicide.

“Thank you! This is going to be such an interesting experience.” The singer murmurs as she winks at Charlie.

2 hours later they had both been avoiding each other, Y/N writing in a corner while the band and Kenny discuss costumes with Soyon, in which at least half an hour has been wasted trying to understand what Charlie is trying to say with the few words he writes with an apple pencil on his ipad in his horrible handwritting.

Y/N gets frustrated and goes to where they are, approaching behind Charlie's shoulder to see the iPad. She quickly identifies the two words, one so crossed out that it looks like a doodle, but years copying each other's homework pays off.

"He's trying to say that if Luke isn't going to wear bandanas, at least consider wearing beanies." The young woman says as she leans on the shoulder of who was her first love.

Charlie freezes at their proximity, blushing a little at the feeling of being close after so long. Luckily his castmates don't realize it because all their attention is on her.

“You are just good for everything huh? Even deciphering hieroglyphs." Owen comments, smiling at her and winking exaggeratedly to make her laugh.

Charlie can't help but feel insecure with the situation. It could be a friendly thing but If Owen really tries to flirt with her, he doesn't know how he would react. Is sad enough not having her in his life anymore, having her as his best friend's girlfriend would just be too painful.

Now, he knows he’s exaggerating, and a lot. But he has to do something about it. Better safe than sorry.

He stretches his neck to meet the eyes of his ex-girlfriend, who is now only inches away. She quickly gets flustered, but hides it pretty well. The problem is that he knows every gesture perfectly and sees through her mask.

“Wh- What, Gillespie?” She manages to say, Charlie can’t help a smile seeing the way she still reacts towards him.

When you know a person completely, every facet, every gesture, every peculiarity, speaking without words is as natural as breathing. And they had both forgotten how amazing it feels to have someone in your life who is this compatible and magnetic.

They start a conversation, she answers to who secretly still believes as her person while he continues making gestures and mimics that no one else understands, writing a word from time to time to make the talk flow better.

"I know. Hey, it's not my fault! So you excuse yourself with the ‘can't talk’ thing huh? how convenient. Yeah, Ok, I will. I said I will!" Her words are the only thing that they manage to get out of the conversation that the secret ex-couple is having, since no matter how much attention they pay to him, they have no idea how Y/N manages to decipher it.

"I have no idea what's going on but I'll take it as a miracle, I was just going to suggest ignoring Charlie these 2 weeks." Jeremy jokes, everyone nods their heads.

“I mean, it’s still a good option.” Madison replies.

The 14 days go by quickly, and with the former couple spending time together daily, rehearsing Charlie's guitar solos together, with Y/N translating his horrible scribbles, or sometimes simply being close to each other enjoying the company, absentmindedly placing their hand on the other's leg or their forehead on their shoulder for a few seconds during the breaks.

Basically the whole team has noticed the flirtatious smiles and the looks, but Charlie was the weakest rival of both and the one who could release some information about it, and without being able to speak they basically ran out of an informant, since the young singer didn’t let go a word about her unexpected chemistry with the guitarist except the typical ‘we are just good friends’.

But without a doubt the energies began to multiply on Monday when Charlie arrived with the green light to be able to speak and start singing in rehearsals. Madison couldn't attend the first few hours because she was at school, so Y/N was going to cover her so the boys could practice.

“The first on the list is Finally Free, the place where we are going to record it only gave us two weeks from now so it will have to be one of the priorities. For the first rehearsal just vibe with the song and we’ll discover where to go from there. Oh, and good luck keeping up with my golden star, you’ll need it."

Y/N starts the first verse on the keyboard, and gets up to sing the chorus in the center, trying to ignore Charlie and looking up at Jeremy. She hadn’t heard him sing for a couple of years, but the same butterflies appear in her stomach and she knows that she will melt if she looks into his eyes.

Unfortunately for her, Kenny doesn't have the same plan, and just before the second verse ends he tells her to walk over to Charlie, who immediately smiles and sings the pre-chorus with much more enthusiasm. The energy they radiate floods the place, both getting closer and closer. By the time the bridge arrives, their foreheads are practically against each other, their lips only an inch apart, and with a confidence and comfort while singing to each other that makes all those who suspected that there was something between them now practically sure.

Luckily there are only Jeremy, Kenny, Owen and Paul in the room, who decide to play a game of divide and conquer now that the snitch part of the equation can speak.

“Y/N, can you come with me for a moment? I have a new idea for ‘Wow’ and a fresh pair of eyes is just what I need.” Paul says, sacrificing himself for the greater good.

“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right back.” The singer takes the opportunity to leave this staring game with Charlie and quickly walks away from the guitarist, who winks at her in a flirting way in response.

The moment they walk out the door, everyone turns to see Charlie, who has no idea what they're up to.

“What?”

"After what just happened you just can't keep pretending nothing's happening. Man, that was more intense than the whole Troyella moments during all three movies." Kenny pretends to be offended for a second and then nods.

"I have never seen anything like this in all my years of career."

“Yeah dude it was electric.” Owen replies, smirking.

“She’s my person.” Charlie mumbles.

If he’s being honest with himself, deep down he always knew she was the only one for him. But that realization was freaking scary. What's next if the only person for you has already turned the page? gave up without a fight? what's left?

"What?" The three ask in unison, and Charles begins to sing like a bird.

“We grew up together and then we lost the way. Like in those romantic movies where just everyone knows they belong together except the childhood best friends and then they end up ruining their lives by being in denial.”

“From what I saw getting back on track shouldn't be too difficult, Charlie. I assure you that whatever you feel she feels it too. Her eyes don’t lie." Jeremy tries to reason with him.

“Leave your teen problems behind. You are old enough to decide what you want and find a way to make it work. But you have to stop pretending that nothing is happening first." Owen scolds his friend.

“Do you love her?” Jer asks.

“That answer is always going to be yes, I just could never stop loving her even If I tried. And I did.” He really did. The surprise he got when the second he had her close to him his heart began to beat like crazy and all he wanted was to hug her and fix everything. It was as if when seeing her eyes time hadn’t passed, as if only the day before they’d been goofing around together. That bond is so big that he doesn’t believe it’s possible to break.

“Then do something about it, bro! Go get your girl back!” Jeremy advises while Kenny smiles.

“Yeah man, it’s ‘Now or never’ like her song, and I guess ours too now? Since she wrote it for Sunset Curve? Well, anyway, it’s like our song says.” Owen exclaims excitedly.

“Ohhh, musical inspiration, let me try. ‘Get up, get out, relight that spark’.” Jeremy sings to Charlie.

“Jer, you are a genius. If you think about it wake up is actually a pretty good soundtrack song for this situation. ‘It's not what you lost, It's what you'll gain raising your voice in the rain’.”

They both keep singing the song until they reach the bridge, Charlie tries to look frustrated but a slight smile escapes his face.

They are right, he still hasn't lost this fight.

👻PART 2 RIGHT HERE

#jatp fanfic #jatp imagine #jatp fanfiction #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie one shot #jatp luke #luke patterson fic #luke patterson x reader

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bukojuiice · 3 years

Text

to the most explosive boy i’ve ever loved before — bakugo katsuki

ೃ pairing: katsuki bakugo x fem! reader

ೃ tags: fluff, angst (if you squint) + letter ! (inspired by to all the boys i loved before)

ೃ a prelude to @bukojuiice’s 1k followers event!

ೃ six letters. one for every boy you’ve ever loved. The letters for your eyes only, filled with all the words you could never say. until, one day, they start appearing out of nowhere into your life again, and your love life goes from imaginary to out of control.

ೃ my nav → my mha writing masterlist → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr! if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask! ♡

You like to save things. Silly things. Ribbons. Polaroids taken during the summer. Old candy wrappers to put behind your phone case. Most especially love letters. Of all the things you save, your love letters are some of your most prized possessions. you keep your letters in a white hatbox your mother bought from a vintage store downtown that sells all kind of things.

They aren’t love letters that someone else wrote for you; You think that you don’t have those. Because you think that no one has fallen in love with you. No being on this vast earth has had their heart beat 120 times a minute walking past you. In contrast to your ever so wandering eyes. These letters are ones you’ve written using your hand and heart. These are times you’ve written a letter expressing endearment-whether shallow or deep, each one towards a different person.

When you write, you hold nothing back. you write like he’ll never read it. Because he never will. Every secret thought, every careful observation, everything you’ve saved up inside yourself, You put it all in the letter. When you’re done, you seal it, address it, and then you put it in your hatbox.

They’re not love letters in the strictest sense of the word. These letters are for when you don’t want to be in love anymore. When you’re tired of falling for him. They’re for bidding goodbye. Because after you write your letter, you are no longer consumed by your all consuming love. it doesn’t keep you up at night anymore, it doesn’t remind you of him every time you sing along to love songs, it doesn’t make you think of how he wants his breakfast cooked, it doesn’t plague your mind like the homework and tasks you’ve ended up missing...

it gives you peace and closure.

that’s truly the meaning of the letters.

they’re supposed to set you free.

but do they really?

You open up your hatbox, looking for the letter that you wrote to Katsuki all those years ago.

Once you had found it, you take it out, as the letter was still neatly kept, and wrapped tightly with a light coral bow. You absently smile when you notice the little stickers of the sanrio character badtzbadtzmaru (a character that reminded you so much of him) and pastel red polco stickers attached to the sides. you place the letter on your desk, contemplating on whether or not you should be reading it as you first reminisce why you fell in love with him in the first place.

the two of you were childhood friends.

It was a cliché at it’s finest, but your whole family was a little in love with him despite his rather pompous and airy attitude. he was the cheeky yet adorable only son of your next-door neighbors who came over after classes to play just dance, or smash bros on the wii with you. during the summer, the two of you would play, camp outside of your houses, go out on picnics and go stargazing at night, and he’d always try his best to cheer you up whenever you were feeling down. there was always a grumpy and gruff tone to his voice when he’s trying to be soft and nice yet, there was always genuine love behind those words.

but, most importantly, he made you feel special. and not in the way that you felt like he was your responsibility but because despite his attitude, constant brags and whatnot, doubled with his other “friends” constantly hyping him up, further inflating his ego...

You were his reminder to stay on the the ground.

You were there for him to open up to you, to share his struggles and insecurities and to just bare his heart to you. his quirk was powerful and so was his personality, but, his heart only became as strong as his physical capabilities because of you.

But... what happened?

The second year of Middle School happened.

Katsuki became a shell of a person he once was.

He still retained his explosive personality but due to the grueling peer pressure that the Middle School hierarchy brings upon you, he became an asshole who could care less about others, began to bully a seaweed-haired kid your age who just moved in next door, and started to always put himself on a pedestal.

He was like an Icarus who was flying too close to the sun... and so the two of you drifted apart.

Just like that.

Then, he moved away that same year, due to the demanding jobs and occupation of his parents.

Gone without even having a chance to say your proper goodbyes to him.

With a heavy sigh, you finally began to read the contents of the letter you wrote for him when he left. As soon as you realized your crush on him was more than just within the confines of puppy love; you brought out a pen and some crafted paper, and wrote to your heart’s content.

Dear Katsuki Bakugo,

Remember that scene in Lilo and Stitch where Lilo prays for someone to be her friend, asking for the “nicest angel you have.” and Stitch comes crashing down from the sky into her backyard?

That is the best way to describe how you came into my life.

When I was a little kid, I only noticed the most bizarre features and facets to your personality. The way you scrunch your nose, your facial expressions like that of a gremlin, your cool quirk, and your loud personality... but as I grew older, I noticed a lot of more things.

I noticed how spiky yet soft your hair was, your passionate crimson eyes that are so full of confidence yet burdened with responsibility, your quirk that became more than just explosions with how you would tell me the science behind it, the way you would talk to me and soften your very loud voice, and how you would even let me win a video game even though you hated losing.

I’ve learned to look at you in a different light because I’ve fallen in love with you.

You were like a tiny spark ever since I met you. Effervescent, bright, always appearing, and always beaming. Like a crackle of lightning. You shined bright for others in your own little ways. Constantly growing and glowing brighter like the feelings I had for you.

Ever since, your presence in my life was like a burst of beautiful fireworks popping inside my heart whenever I would think about you.

However... even though we both started as no one but just little kids, holding hands, and trying to traverse this maze called life...

and now you’re all; your worth will rise, the more I fall.

I realized that you didn’t need me anymore.

Like these mementos we have stored, all these these memories we share.

once were things —

now nothing anymore.

We promised each other with our pinkies intertwined that we would embark on this adventure to become heroes together.

yet, what happened?

Katsuki, Suki, Suki-kun...

If the boy I used to love and cherish with all my heart would come back again... then I wish things could come back again to the way they once were.

May it be in another day, another year, another time, or even another universe...

Please come back as the sparkle of light in my life again.

Sincerely,

(Y/N)

“(Y/N)!” The soft voice of your mother echoes around the house. “Katsuki-kun and his parents just moved back next door? Why don’t you say hi?”

“H-how?” You whisper to yourself, peeking through the window and seeing some moving boxes present in Katsuki’s old room. A familiar spiky-haired boy peaks through the window, noticing your wide-eyed gaze at him.

His eyebrows furrow, tilting his head slightly at the sight of seeing you.

These were the same crimson eyes, same hair, same old gremlin yet handsome face you’ve wanted to see again for such a long time.

This was it. It’s him.

“(Y/N)?”

“Katsuki-kun?”

taglist: @chibishae34 @lovelytarou @ramunegoddess, @serossimpy @laudthingcat @f0leysgurl

#katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x y/n #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n #katsuki bakugou x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n #bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugo fluff

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shedobewritingalittle · 3 years

Text

Not A Team: Part 2- New World Order

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: The Reader gives a speech at the opening of Steve’s exhibit and has a talk with Sam following his speech.

Rating: T

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER, talks of death, talks of mental illness, feelings of isolation

Read Part One here

Listen to the playlist inspired by the series here

Y/N felt like coming here today was a mistake.

Her stomach tossed and turned like a stormy sea, threatening to send her breakfast all over Rhodey's shiny shoes. She was second guessing everything. Was her dress nice enough? Rhodey had told her she looked great, but she hadn't worn a dress since Steve's funeral-Oh God, what if he was lying to her? No, he wouldn't lie to her-but what if he felt bad? Jesus, dd her shoes look stupid? Maybe she shouldn't have worn heels-but then she always wore heels with dresses and if she wore flats that would look childish. Did her speech sound coherent? Fuck, what if she messes up. Would they think she was doing it on purpose out of retribution for what Steve did? No, they didn't know what Steve did, what he had done to her. What if-

"Hey, hey. What's wrong? You look like you're going to blow chunks." Rhodey cuts through her thoughts like a hot knife through butter. He puts his hand on her back, "Breathe, Y/N."

"Maybe this a bad idea, Rhodey. I mean they have Sam. I think Sam can handle this." She stumbles over her words, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was racing a hundred miles a minute and she swore her hands were shaking,

"You're going to be okay, but you need to relax. I've read and reread your speech a dozen times. It's perfect." Rhodey tries to soothe her, his hand rubbing her back. Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, working on slowing her breathing. In through her nose and out through her mouth.

"Hey pretty lady, I was wondering where the exhibit is. I'm supposed to be giving a speech there today." A voice calls out, sending Y/N's eyes flying open. She turns on her heels, being greeted by the sight of Sam walking towards them, holding the leather case that carries the shield. Y/N can feel the tension melting out of her shoulders as a smile spreads across her nervous face.

"Rhodey, I think they might be letting anyone speak here today." Y/N teases, the anxiousness slipping away, releasing its hold on her. Rhodey chuckles, shaking his head at his friend's antics. She hadn't seen Sam since the days following Steve's funeral and right now, he's a welcome sight. Sam rests his hand over his heart, feigning hurt as he gets closer.

"You wound me, woman." Sam jokes, smiling right back at her. They embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck as his go around her waist, "I missed you, kid."

"I've missed you too, Sammy." She murmurs back, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. They pull away and Sam smiles at her, the skin around his eyes wrinkling. Rhodey clears his throat, gently touching Y/N's upper arm.

"Hey I need to go talk to some people, alright?" Rhodey announces, almost as if he is asking permission. Y/N just smiles and nods, the smile staying on her face until he walks away from the two.

"How are you feeling, Y/N?" Sam questions, to which Y/N sighs, looking down at her shoes. She stays quiet for a moment, feeling his eyes on her.

"You want the truth or you want me to tell you what I tell Rhodey?" She replies, looking back at him. Y/N shifts from one foot to another, glad they were far from the crowd that was gathering. He gives her a look, giving her an answer without opening his mouth. She sighs again, twisting her wedding ring around her finger.

"I don't sleep, not really. I get maybe an hour a night if I am lucky. I-The house is filled with boxes that I can't unpack because-" Her voice cracks, her chest rising and falling quickly. She bites the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to not cry, "I thought that leaving the apartment would make him go away, but it didn't."

"Well Steve was always stubborn." Sam responds, making a laugh bubble out of her throat before she could stop it. There was an "I'm sorry" buried in the joke and Y/N knew it, but decided to only focus on the joke.

The stage looked daunting.

She forced herself up those steps, the person who had introduced her still had his hand outstretched towards her. Y/N wondered if she could make a run for it. Sure people will be mad at her, but she won't be forcing herself through this. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, the clapping nothing but a ringing in her ears. For a moment, her eyes landed on the giant banner of her husband, a lump forming in her throat. He was watching over her, his face emotionless as his eyes seemingly followed her every step. Cameras flashed as she stood on the stage, striding over to the podium. Once she stood in front of it, a hush fell over the crowd.

Y/N Rogers had saved thousands of lives. She was an Avenger and had faced countless foes. Hell, her wedding had more people in attendance than this event, but she still felt sick to her stomach. Y/N gave them all a smile as she forced herself to calm down, swallowing hard before speaking.

"To say that Steve Rogers was a special man is putting lightly. He was a hero that many of us, myself included, aspired to be one day. And while many of you only knew him as Captain America, I was among the lucky few that got to know him just as Steve Rogers. Now I could stand up here and tell you about every battle he won, how valiantly he fought-but everyone else is going to do that. Hell, you can read about it in the exhibit." Y/N chuckles, blinking away the tears in her eyes as the crowd laughs.

Y/N finds Rhodey and Sam in the crowd, both of them giving her smiles of encouragement. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the diamond on her wedding ring sparkling in the light. It's the first time she's worn it in a while, but it felt almost right to wear it. Once again, she's pretending like Steve didn't leave her. No, Y/N is ignoring that completely, almost blissfully. These people only know Steve as Captain America, as a god-damned American hero. She isn't going to tarnish that, won't ruin his legacy. And regardless of what Steve did to her, she is still in love with him and she wants to talk about the man she fell in love with, not the one that hurt her. Y/N inhales and exhales shakily before continuing.

"Steve was so much more than just Captain America. He was my best friend and my husband. He was the type of man to pick up flowers for you just because. The type of man to tell you that you looked really pretty even though you were covered in dirt and ash. He would let me go on and on about things that didn't even matter, but with the way he paid attention you would think that I was telling him the secrets of the world. Steve loved staying in and having movie marathons-he-he had a list he'd carry with him to write down things he needed to learn about. Before we dated, he would text me randomly, asking me why Jar Jar Binks is hated so much or asking me to explain what emojis are. He never quite got the hang gof the latter." A laugh comes out of Y/N's mouth, the crowd following suit. There was a smile on her face, a warmth spreading in her chest.

"He's the man I'll be in love with until the day I die, but then I'll fall in love all over again because I'll be able to see him again. Steve was the sweetest, kindest man I've ever met and while I will always wish we had more time together, I was lucky to have him as long as I did. We were all lucky to have him." Y/N pauses again, her throat constricting with emotion, "Even though he's gone, Steve lived a long life-a life longer than some of us get and I am happy that so many different facets of his life is going to be explored and shared with so many people. I hope you all enjoy the exhibit. Thank you."

The applause that followed was almost thunderous. Y/N smiled as her heart slammed against her ribcage, cameras flashing as she made her way off the stage. She was glad it was finally over as she moved to stand next to Rhodey and Sam. Sam kissed her cheek before he climbed up the stairs to the stage. Rhodey rubbed her back, telling her quietly that she did great. She just nodded in response, her eyes on her friend, watching as Sam leaned the shield against the plexiglass podium.

"Thank you Y/N for making my job a lot harder." Sam teases, causing everyone to chuckle. Y/N smiles right back at him, shaking her head as her friend carries on, "Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered poising stoically. "

Sam's a natural at this, standing up there like its nothing. And while Y/N should be focused on the speech, her eyes keep drifting down to the shield at his feet.

"The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning. And this thing," Sam chuckles, picking up the shield, "I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up and he's gone. So, today we honor Steve's legacy, but also, we look to the future. So thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you."

Y/N feels sick to her stomach as she watches Sam hand the shield off. Her chest feels tight and she-she can't be here. There's a ringing on her ears and she can't breathe. Y/N pushes through the crowd, not bothering with pleasantries as she does it. A dozen emotions rack her body, causing her hands to start to heat up. She forces it down, deep down as she walks into an empty bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Sam gave away the shield.

He gave it away.

Like it was nothing.

And she wants to scream, wants to cry, but it won't come out. Y/N won't let it, not now when she is still in public. She walks over to the sinks, her hands gripping the counter. Her eyes are rimmed with red, eyes all watery. Her red painted lips press into a thin line as she forces herself to not cry, practically glaring at her reflection. What did her therapist tell her to do? Ah yes, breath in and out. In and out.

This was all too much way too soon. She couldn't handle this. She was being bombarded with memories and emotions already and now Sam giving the shield away? She felt like she was going to lose it. A part of her felt like she was overreacting. overthinking this whole situation. And maybe she was. Y/N did that from time to time. Tony had told her she was an expert of making mountains out of molehills. Maybe Sam just didn't want to be Captain America, didn't want to shoulder that burden. That was understandable. It was a shitty, shitty job-one that Sam didn't ask for. He shouldn't be forced to take on the mantle of Captain America, not when the previous owner had tossed it away so carelessly.

Yet, the bigger part of her was incredibly upset. Angry at the fact that Sam handed off the shield to be shelved in a museum. Overwhelmed by the amount of Steve that was everywhere. Confused over the multitudes of feeling that were swarming her body.

And there was nothing she could do about any of them. She just had to grin and bear it, just like she's been doing since Steve decided he much rather spend an entire lifetime with a woman he knew for a few months. So Y/N collected herself, blinked away her tears, and left the bathroom. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her towards the one place she didn't want to be.

The exhibit.

Steve's image is plastered on every single surface, telling the details of every part of his life. Scrawny Steve, bootcamp Steve, darling icon of patriotism during the war Steve, frozen Steve, Battle of Manhattan Steve, cartoon Steve punching Hitler, Steve during Sokovia, Steve on the run. Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. He covers every single square inch, which makes sense because this is his exhibit. And while Y/N knows she should just turn on her heel and not put herself through it, she throws caution to the wall. She's already incredibly upset, so she might as well pour gallons and gallons of salt and lemon juice into that open wound. So she forces herself deeper into the exhibit, running straight into the very last man she wants to see at this moment.

"You know I wasn't expecting to find you here." Sam tells her as soon as her foot enters the next room. She keeps her mouth shut, so he adds "Rhodey is looking for you."

"You know on his right sleeve of his suits, right near his wrist, he had my initials stitched. He told me he wanted to carry a piece of me into every mission, into every fight." Y/N announces as she looks at a picture of Steve on a mission, most likely taken by Natasha. Sam sighs, walking over to her, wanting her to see his point of view.

"Look I know you're upset-" He starts, but is immediately cut off by a dry chuckle slipping out of Y/N's mouth as she walks around the room. She wants to lay in to him, wants to give him a piece of her mind.

"Oh I am far past the point of being "just upset", Wilson. It wasn't yours to give away. I-I don't care if you didn't want the mantle, but..." Her angry words trail off once she realizes what part of the exhibit she has reached, her face dropping.

Y/N stops in front of a part of the exhibit labeled 'Two Heroes United'. Her eyes roam over the pictures of her and Steve's wedding and the pictures taken throughout the duration of their relationship, so much more than what the file Rhodey had left detailed. So many smiles, so much happiness filling each and every picture. Her facade is cracking, chipping away as she forces herself to study every picture, studying their faces over and over, trying to see if there was something she had missed, if-if there was something she could have said or done to hold onto him a little longer. If there was something hidden behind his smile, behind his touches, they don't reveal themselves in the photographs.

She's just a footnote in his life, a blurb at the end of a long story. A tool to make him look like an all-American family man. Bucky and Sam had much larger parts of the exhibit dedicated to their roles in Steve's life and who they are outside of being Steve's friends. Y/N-well Y/N gets this, a paragraph saying that she was on the team and then married Steve. She is just haphazardly tacked onto the story of his life, a cute story to make people feel all warm inside. He got his happily ever after, they'll say-or they'll whisper to one another God she was so lucky to have him. They won't ask if she got her happily ever after or if she feels lucky now.

Sam got to hand off the shield, got to throw away the title of Captain America. He gets to keep on living his life after this, but Y/N-Y/N will always be Steve's wife. And it doesn't matter how many people she saved or what she did with her time on earth, she will only be know for being the wife of the man who abandoned her. Y/N's tied to him for eternity, stuck loving a man who decided to love someone else.

And then, just like that, something inside of her just snaps. Her facade fully crumbles, leaving her unable to mask what she's going through. Y/N's eyes fill up with tears and she's unable to blink them away before they spill over the edge, sending tears rolling down her cheeks. And as she stood there, crying in the middle of the exhibit dedicated to Steven Grant Rogers, a depressing epiphany popped into her mind.

The shield was the last part of Steve that she had that wasn't tainted in some way, a piece of him that she could still bear to see. And Sam had just given it away, leaving her with nothing but memories that would haunt her.

"I watched your speech. You did really good, Y/N." Her therapist praises, giving her a soft smile. Y/N nods, twisting her wedding ring on her finger. She had decided to start wearing it again, even though her feelings about Steve were still conflicted. While a part of her thought that this meant she was healing, Y/N knew it was more likely tied to the fact that Sam had given up the shield.

"It-It felt good." Y/N replies, shifting in her seat. She had thought it was a subtle movement, but Dr. Raynor gave her a look. After a few months of court-ordered appointments, the therapist knew Y/N all too well and she sure as hell knew when Y/N wasn't telling the truth.

"Something is upsetting you. What happened?" The doctor questions, clicking her pen. Y/N dreaded the noise. It meant a longer session, more bandaids being ripped off in order to force the wounds into the light. It would mean she would return to her home a little colder, a little emptier.

"Nothing happened. It-I had a good day. A good week." Y/N tries to reassure her, even going as far as to give her what she thought was a honest smile. Dr. Raynor held up her pad of paper, making a show of slowly bring the pen down to the paper. Y/N's smile falls and she looks down at her hands, letting out a small sigh.

"He-Sam gave away the shield. He gave it away like it was nothing." The ex-hero announces, feeling like a scolded child. Raynor lowers her pen and paper, settling back into her seat.

"And you feel like he shouldn't have?"

"No. No, Steve-Steve chose him. Steve gave him the shield because he knew that Sam was good, that Sam could handle it. And-And Sam just gave it away." Y/N stammers, picking at a thread that was hanging off her shirt.

"You know, I think that is the first time you have said his name aloud." Raynor mentions, causing Y/N to stop her movements. The thread is caught between her fingers, pulled taut. The doctor continues, "You always refer to Steve as 'he' or 'him' or 'my husband'. You never say his name."

"I don't think I was ready to be around...Steve. Not that much." Y/N tries to shift the focus, shame filling her, her face feeling hot. She knows she has her reasons not to say his name, but she still felt terrible about not being able to say his name.

"But you still spoke at the opening of his exhibit. I'm sure everyone would more than understand why you couldn't. So why did you decide on speaking?" The therapist asks, taking down a couple notes of her pad of paper. Y/N stays silent for a moment, letting go of the thread to start twisting her ring again.

"I-I don't know. Rhodey asked me and I-I guess I thought I could do it. And the speech wasn't bad I just-I wasn't expecting Sam to give away the shield." Y/N responds, her voice soft. She feels so small, sitting here on this charcoal grey couch. Y/N almost felt...stupid for being so angry at Sam. It wasn't his fault at all and as Y/N said everything out loud, she felt like such an asshole.

"If you would've known that Sam wanted to give the shield away, would you have stopped him?" Dr. Raynor replies, leaning forward slightly as she takes a few notes. Y/N feels herself sinking into the couch.

"I don't know. I-I wish he would have just told me so that we could've talked about it." She answers, looking out of the window. Dark grey clouds filled the sky, blocking out a lot of the sunlight that wanted to shine down on the city. Y/N didn't know if she would have actually forced him to keep the shield. That wasn't on him to have hold on to hat chunk of vibranium. It was wrong for Steve to have thrown that all on Sam. What would be the alternative? For her to keep the shield? Y/N highly doubted that the United States government would allow that.

Y/N was watering her garden when her phone started to ring in her back pocket. She quickly moves to shut off the water hose before she slips the phone about her pocket. Sam's name and picture appears on her screen, making uneasiness fill her stomach. Y/N exhales through her noise loudly before answering it, holding the phone against her ears.

"Have you seen the news?" Sam asks, not even letting her get a single syllable out.

"No, I've been outside-What's going on, Sam?" Y/N questions, making her way to the house. Something was definitely wrong. Sam never called her unless it was for emergencies. if they did communicate, it was mainly through texting. Her heartbeat started to race, as did her thoughts. A million different scenarios filled her head, each one worse than the last.

"You need to turn on the news right now." Sam replies as she opens the back door, quickly crossing the kitchen and walking into the living room. Her hands are almost shaking as she picks up the remote, turning the television on. Luckily for her, the last thing she had been watching was the news. Unluckily for her, she was greeted with a man holding the shield-Steve's shield, dressed in what looked like an off-brand, shitty version of the Captain America suit.

Anger filled her body. It had been four days tops since Sam handled off the shield and already, they had found their 'new Captain America'. The man in question was smiling smugly in the ill-fitting suit, waving at the camera, holding onto his shield tightly. God, Y/N wanted to beat the shit of the man and every single person who had okayed this. She could only hear bits and pieces of the speech as the news replayed it, but even that bullshit was too much for her to handle. She muted the television, tossing the remote on the couch.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/N exclaims, her hands getting warm. The Avenger was unable to get to anything articulate as rage filled her. She quickly put the phone on speaker, setting the device down just in case her hands caught flame.

"I know. I know. It's fucking bullshit." Sam replies, sighing. Y/N paced in front of the television, trying to calm herself down before she burned a hole through her rug. On the screen, the fake Cap was talking about something, a saccharine smile spread across his face. Y/N wanted to take that God damn shield and smash his teeth in.

"That asshole has my husband's fucking shield. They-He isn't supposed to be Captain America, okay? It's just not-It's not theirs to give away." Y/N's voice cracks towards the end, tears filling her eyes. While she wasn't Steve's number one fan, she hated that they had already chose someone to take up his title. If Sam wasn't going to be Captain America, then no one should be Captain America.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I wouldn't have given away the shield if I would've known...I'm sorry." Sam murmurs over the phone. Y/N covers her face with her almost glowing hands as she tries to control her breathing, not able to respond to Sam’s apologies. Her sadness and anger quickly shifted into something else.

Something inside of her switched on, something that she hadn't felt in a long time, not since she was a hero, back when she was an Avenger.

Y/N wanted to go to work.

------

Not A Team taglist (if you would like to be added to the taglist please let me know!)

@lady-elena-adeline @simonedk @hersilencedscreams @rqmanoff

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers #chris evans x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #tfatws #tfatws spoilers

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fandom-necromancer · 2 years

Text

A match in stubbornness

This was prompted by the amazing @smolandangry001! Enjoy some fluff!

Fandom: Detroit become human Ship: Reed900 Warnings: None

‘You will regret that, you stupid phcking pig!’ Gavin rolled his eyes at the handcuffed man he pushed into the back of the car. ‘Listen buddy, I regret most decisions, I’ve made. But certainly not this one. Now shut up and enjoy the ride.’ He yawned, once again tired exhausted from not getting enough sleep today. He turned to see if Nines wanted to drive but met his intense, upset stare. ‘What’s wrong, tin-can?’ ‘You know what’s wrong’, he grumbled, walking around the car and opening the door. ‘No, I don’t.’

Nines had sat down and closed the door, so Gavin joined him on the passenger-seat. Nines looked out for oncoming traffic, then carefully drove off. ‘You know very well, I don’t like it, when you do that.’ ‘What?’ ‘Your self-depreciating jokes.’ Gavin groaned. ‘Really? That talk in front of that dipshit in the back?’ ‘You asked’, Nines shrugged, eyes on the road. ‘You know it affects your mental health. Humans have the tendency to sub-consciously believe whatever has been repeated the most. You are actively diminishing your sense of self-worth.’ ‘Nines, humans also have the tendencies to cope by using humour.’ ‘Then maybe you should start being funny.’ ‘Wow, someone’s pissed…’ Gavin snuffled and turned to the window.

‘I’m not… pissed’, Nines spoke up at the next red-light and turned to him. ‘I’m just… Gavin, you are a remarkably intelligent person and I doubt anything you truly regret you could have changed. Sometimes causality escapes our grasp.’ ‘Phck, Nines, I know I was unlucky! It’s a saying. Get a grip! It’s nothing big, just a phrase. Now shut up, this is embarrassing. Besides, you tried it countless times already but never managed to change me.’ ‘I don’t want to change-‘ ‘Stop it. You want. Don’t lie to me.’

Nines sighed and got back to driving them to the precinct. Arguing with Gavin rarely lead to anything substantial and he believed in this case it wouldn’t be too different. He didn’t want him to change. He just wanted him to see what he was seeing. Nines just hated it when Gavin made these comments about himself. And he wasn’t the most advanced unit ever created if he would give up just because words didn’t work.

The drive home after work was a quiet one, them both listening to music, but feeling the uncomfortable atmosphere hanging in the air. Still, it took them until they had actually reached their flat that Nines asked: ‘Are you angry with me?’ Gavin flinched and straightened his back. ‘What?’ ‘Are you angry with me? Because of today?’ The human sighed. ‘Nines, phck… No. No, I’m not angry, today, just like every other day, just wasn’t my day.’ He let himself fall on the sofa and Nines followed, lightly placing his hands on his shoulders. Slowly he dragged them upwards until his fingers were buried in Gavin’s hair and gently scraped over his scalp. A pleased hum was his thanks as he continued the slow movements. ‘I think, just like every other day, you were quite remarkable.’ Nines saw the frown on his face and placed a single finger on his lips even before Gavin could disagree. ‘Shhh. Don’t talk. You were the one who found out our suspect was still at the scene. Without you he would have run free.’

He retracted his finger to brush it across the man’s lower jaw and go deeper with his hands to massage his neck. ‘Someone else could have found him.’ ‘But someone else didn’t’, Nines reminded him, fully concentrated on his newest mission. ‘And now shut up and enjoy. ‘Every day you surprise me anew. Your thoughts are fascinating to me. Everyday you show me why I love you. Everyday I find another facete of you to adore.’

Gavin smiled, eyes long closed bathing in the attention. ‘And I always wonder how you can get even sappier every night. I don’t deserve you.’ ‘You deserve everything you can imagine and more’, the android disagreed, pressing a kiss to his forehead while letting his hands run deeper to his shoulders and upper back. Gavin obediently turned around to give him better access to his sore muscles. ‘Bullshit, I’m trash and you are the tin-can that takes care of me.’ Nines might have squeezed a little harder at this. ‘Gavin…’ ‘What? Can’t get used to this much sweet-talk now, can I?’ ‘Why?’, the android asked. ‘Think you ever get rid of me?’ ‘So far my shitty personality was a pretty good way to stay single.’

‘Gavin, you are an amazing person, you just don’t let people close to you easily. I’m honoured to see you as you are.’ The man grumbled something incomprehensible into the cushions. ‘Gavin, I thoroughly hope you simply agreed to me just now.’ Gavin turned around and grabbed his hands. ‘I love you’, he repeated. ‘Even though you are wrong.’

‘I’m the superior machine. I’m always right.’ ‘I know.’ Nines counted that as a win, even if they still had a long way to go. But a RK always accomplished it’s mission and he was ready to prove that again and again. ‘I love you, too. Enough for both of us.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #fluff

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delightfullyatomicfest · 3 years

Text

John interviewed in Melody Maker part 3

MELODY MAKER DECEMBER 20 1969 -

FROM ALL THE publicity, welcome and unwelcome, that they have received during their two years together, John and Yoko Lennon might seem to have little or no private life together. In fact, they appear wilfully to present their joint life to the public, for that most altruistic and most misunderstood reason: to set a good example.

John has said in the past that he’d like them to be remembered as the Romeo and Juliet of the age, and when he says that I don’t believe he’s being egotistical. In fact the Lennons may, in a left-handed sort of way, be doing the establishment a favour - by bringing marriage back into fashion.

Like anybody else, they do have a more private side to their life, and John comments, “There’s nothing I like more than to get home at the end of the day and sit next to Yoko and say, ‘Well, we’re together at last.’ Although we may have been holding hands all day, it’s not the same when we’re working or talking to the press. We feel a hundred miles apart by comparison.”

It’s obvious that they have changed each other, the change in John being more noticeable because we knew more of his earlier self. But how did meeting John change Yoko ’s life?

“He’s changed everything in a sense that I was a very lonely person before I met him,” she says. “Most people in the world are very lonely, that’s the biggest problem, and because of their loneliness they become suspicious. And the reason we’re lonely is because we can’t communicate enough from the various complexes we have and from the various social habits we’ve created. We become very inhibited, but when I met John I started to open up a little, through love, you know, and that’s the greatest thing that happened to me yet.

“There are various facets to my life and my personality, and I never met anybody else who could understand me. We understand each other so well, and I’m not lonely any more - which is a shocking experience, really.

Also, through loneliness or something, I was starting to become a very firm and strong ego. .. but that’s melting away, and it’s very nice.”

On the other side of the coin, how does John feel Yoko has changed him?

“Exactly the same, of course. I was lonely, and didn’t have full communication with anybody and it took a bit of adjusting. She rediscovered or cultivated the thing that existed in me before I left Liverpool, maybe, and recultivated the natural John Lennon that had been lost in the Beatles thing and the worldwide thing. She encouraged me to be myself, because it was me that she fell in love with, not the Beatles or whatever I was.

“When you get sidetracked you believe it, and when you’re in the dark you believe it. She came and reminded me that there was light, and when you remember there’s light you don’t want to get back in the dark again. That’s what she did for me.”

Yoko : “But you know I didn’t do it intentionally or anything. It’s the falling-in-love bit: you start to see all sorts of things that you don’t see if you’re not in love. I found that he has all these qualities that he was hiding away. Even in a practical sense, music-wise, he was doing all sorts of freaky things at home, just recording it on a cassette or something, but not really showing it publicly. Publicly he was doing The Beatles’ things. But he showed me all these cassettes and things and I said, ‘Why don’t you produce these as records? ’

“I performed the role of a mirror in a way. He was doing all those things anyway - I didn’t suggest them. It was there - and that goes for his drawing, paintings, and poetry too - especially his drawings. He’s got a stack of beautiful drawings at home, and this one series he did is going to be produced as sort of lithograph. They’re not like his cartoons - they’re another kind of drawing. I think they’re better than Picasso .”

“She’s biased,” said John happily.

“You’ll see them next year,” continued Yoko. “And those things were always there in John- they just came out, but artists do need encouragement. We’re always together, like 24 hours of the day. At the beginning, when we were less sure and we were still the previous us, once in awhile when John was recording I’d go shopping on the King’s Road or something -now we couldn’t conceive of that.

“People say that if you’re together 24 hours a day for two years you must get sick and tired of each other, but it’s the contrary,” asserted Yoko.

“We got so addicted to that situation that we miss each other more. It’s a very strange scene.”

John: “Somebody said, ‘Won’t you get so reliant on each other that you can’t manage without each other?’ and we said yes! The only thing that could split us is death, and we have to face that. . . and we don’t even believe we’ll be split then, if we work on it. Our only worry in the world is that we die together, otherwise even if it’s only three minutes later it’s going to be hell. I couldn’t bear three minutes of it.

“Most marriages have a little pretence going on, and we thought, ‘Are we going to have to pretend that we’re happy together because we daren’t say that we want to be apart?’ But that doesn’t happen. When two of you are together, man and wife, there’s nothing that can touch you. You have the power of two people, you have the protection - you don’t need the society or the room or the uniform or the gun, because you have the power of two minds, which is a pretty powerful thing.”

A major part of most marriages is childbearing. John and Yoko have one child each by their previous. How important do they think a child will be to their relationship?

“We’re not even sure that we want children/’ said John. “We’re that jealous. But if God or whoever gives us a child we’ll accept it. Maybe we’d like two or three. But even then we have to consider: is a child going to interfere between us? How can we look after a child and be together 24 hours a day?”

Yoko : “It’s not fair to the child, maybe, because we are so close. The child will be somebody that will be saying ‘hello’ once in awhile.”

John: “Obviously it’ll probably be different if we have one, because all the times she’s pregnant we consider it. We’re full into it, wanting a child, but when you lose it and you get over the pain then you consider whether you wanted the child. Now maybe we had that in the back of our minds all along, and that’s why she lost it. We don’t really know whether we want one or not. If she gets pregnant we’ll want one, but I’d like her not to be pregnant for a bit - she’s been pregnant since I met her!

“I’d like her to stay slim for ayear and then maybe have one. But we don’t fancy birth pills, because I don’t trust them and anything else is out of the question ( laughs ) because it’s inconvenient. We’re not like that - we try to act naturally at all times. That’s one of our problems, besides death. It’s in God’s hands.”

Richard Williams

#John and Yoko #that bit about kids... oof #melody maker #December 1969

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jokertrap-ran · 3 years

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(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Evan’s 6✩ Inspiration: Twilight Facet [暮光之境] Date Translation (END 5+6: Heart-throb)

“I offer you my hand, my heart, my everything; are you willing to believe me?”

*Light and Night Master-list | Evan’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *6✩ Inspirations have 6 Endings!! *CG Image used with permission from 蓝咕咕 ☆ *Evan’s tag will be #For Night, For Revolution

✥ Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ✩Light & Night★

it was the perfect time for a lunchtime nap. I…

✩ E5 LIGHT: Ask about his other bedtime habits ✩

I leaned closer to Evan out of curiosity.

MC: Then, do you have anything else prepared other than the aromatherapy? Or… are there any other rules about this stuff set in place?

Evan pauses for a moment, not saying anything.

His eyes were bright, but also as deep as an abyss. It made me tempted to venture further into it, yet I didn't dare proceed any more than half a step.

After staying in place for a few seconds, I suddenly came to the startling realization of just how close I was to him. My body couldn't help but stiffen as I carefully retracted my neck as I inched backwards.

I leaned so close to him and even asked him such a personal question. Will he think that I'm…

Evan: Are you really that interested in these things?

MC: I just wanted to understand you a little more…

I was so embarrassed that I didn't look at him at all. I kept my head lowered, my face a burning mess.

Evan chuckled lightly. His voice was as deep as ever, and it felt pleasant to the ears.

Evan: Then, I'm glad that you're the one who's trying to understand me.

Evan: But, they're all merely small habits that have followed me through childhood. Take this for example…

He picked up the delicate, yet exquisite cup, shaking the red liquid within.

Evan: This here’s called Hereafter. I started drinking it ever since I was a kid, and it has stuck with me ever since. Now, I need this to sleep.

Evan: I wasn't willing to, at first; but I slowly got used to it.

I nodded in understanding. After thinking about it for a while, I picked up the teapot and filled his cup with more of said drink.

MC: Then you should finish these off properly.

Evan: Very well.

He picked up the cup and took a sip before pausing. He looked at me a little hesitantly, a conflicted expression on his face.

MC: ...Why are you looking at me like that?

Evan: This is… a little too thick.

MC: Ah! I forgot to add water to it earlier. Sorry, sorry…

I quickly added hot water into his cup and stirred it before handing it back to him. However, his brow furrowed a little after just a sip.

Evan: It's a little too hot now.

MC: I'll blow on it for you!

I took the cup over from him without another word, blowing gently on it. It was only after I'd done it a couple of times that I heard a sudden laugh coming from him.

I froze, looking back at him in suspicion.

He was unable to wipe the smile off his face, leaning affectionately into the sofa as he observed me. His eyes sparkled with glee.

MC: ...You…

I looked at the cup and back to him again. Something clicked in my head.

Is he doing this on purpose?

He chuckled lightly, swiftly taking the cup from my grasp and gracefully downing it in one fell swoop.

Evan: Thank you. Now everything's in place.

MC: ……

He's DEFINITELY doing it on purpose!

I helped him close the curtains after he’d finished up his special drink.

MC: Is there anything else that you'd like prepared, Sir?

Evan looked at me, hesitating for a while before shaking his head.

Evan: That's all there is. Thank you.

I glanced at his dark red tie.

MC: How about I help you take off your tie then? I'm sure it'll be uncomfortable to sleep in.

Evan: ……

MC: ……

An awkward silence lapsed between us. It took some time before the realization that I’d just said something really inappropriate hit me...

I hurriedly averted my gaze away from his tie.

MC: Ahaha… What nonsense am I spouting now…

Evan: Sure.

MC: Huh?

Evan: I'll have to trouble you to help me get it off then. Thank you.

MC: ...Okay.

A warm smile slowly filtered into his orbs as he removed his gold-rimmed glasses. He slowly stood up from his reclining position and moved to stand before me.

He was tall and his shadow almost completely enveloped me. My breathing involuntarily stuttered.

I raised my head and reached upwards, carefully starting to work the knot out.

Looks like he did his tie with an exceptionally complicated knot today. I had a go at it for quite some time, but to no avail.

Evan: Is it hard to undo?

MC: A-A little… Erm, could you… bend down a little?

Evan: Alright… Looks like it was a lack of consideration on my part.

He gave an apologetic smile, moving closer to me and leaning further down.

That slightly smiling face of his suddenly drew up close. My brain blanked out, and I could do nothing but stare dumbly at him.

Evan: Will this do?

MC: ……

My breath hitched in my throat. I hurriedly averted my gaze, frantically nodding as I reached out to have another go at his tie.

However, the knot didn't budge at all no matter how hard I tried. It was almost as if the thing had a grudge on me. I couldn't help but feel a little upset at my futile efforts.

Evan: Looks like this doesn't work either. Then, how about...

The words had only just left his mouth when he suddenly reached over. He wrapped his arm around my waist and hoisted me up!

MC: !!!

I jolted. Startled by the sudden movement, I instinctively clung to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and earning another chuckle from him.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘�� ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Carrying me, Evan retreated a couple of steps backwards. He seated himself on the side of the bed with me sitting sideways atop his thigh. He held my hand and brought it up to his collar which was already loose and dishevelled.

MC: Evan…

Evan: It should be much easier now. Try again?

There was a pleasantly warm smile on his face, but it was hard to ignore the firm chest pressed up to my palm, rising and falling in time with his breathing.

This is all to undo his tie, right? Still, this position is a little…

I bit my lip and tried to calm my rapid breathing. I tentatively moved a little, only to feel his entire body suddenly stiffen in response.

I stiffened as well, freezing in place. I didn't dare move an inch.

It was a few seconds later that his voice sounded in my ears again.

Evan: Are you going to start?

MC: ...Yeah.

I tried my hardest to shelve the wild thought that had taken refuge in my head as my trembling hands took hold of his tie once more.

After composing myself, I was soon able to undo his tie. I also helped him unbutton the first button of his dress shirt.

And just like that, his pretty and prominent collarbones were revealed to my eye. Going further up was his adam's apple that bobbed ever so occasionally. And going further down would be his chest, which my hand was currently pressed against, rising and falling with his every breath.

The muscles beneath my touch were firm but relaxed, rippling beneath his skin as if waiting for the perfect chance to come into play. This side of Evan was one unknown to me; one that screamed danger. Yet, it was still deadly attractive. I couldn't stop my face from flushing scarlet once more.

MC: Um… your tie's undone now… You can rest easy

Evan: I'm in no hurry. Besides, this makes up the last of my bedtime habits.

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Evan: Now, how about you tell me about your bedtime habits?

MC: My bedtime habits?

I stared into his deep orbs. The ghost of a familiar melody sounded by my ears, soft and gentle.

It was the song that my grandmother used to sing to me before bed as a kid. Recalling these softened my heart and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

MC: My grandmother used to hum to me.

Evan: A lullaby?

MC: Yup! But not just lullabies! Sometimes it's a traditional folk song, and sometimes it’s a western nursery rhyme.

MC: I recall there being one with really odd lyrics about how a leopard fell in love with a foxface rabbitfish.

MC: The foxface rabbitfish asked the leopard if it wanted to go down to the sea and see how it was like. The leopard agreed.

MC: And then they both lived happily ever after together at the bottom of the sea.

MC: Strange, isn’t it? I mean, how can a leopard live under the sea?

Evan: ...What if it's possible?

MC: Huh?

I looked towards Evan. His eyes were slightly drooping, his eyelashes casting small shadows upon his features. I couldn’t read his expressions all that well.

It was a while before he looked back at me again. This time, with his beautiful eyes fully open, and the corners of his lips curled into his usual smile.

Evan: Can you sing it to me?

MC: Yeah… Sure thing.

I softly sang him that weird nursery rhyme of mine, again and again, in a never-ending loop.

I didn’t know how many times I sang the whole rhyme in succession; but just as I stopped once more at the part where the foxface rabbitfish asked the leopard whether it wanted to visit the sea, Evan’s head suddenly fell onto the crook of my neck.

MC: !!

The nursery rhyme came to an abrupt stop as my ears were slowly filled with another sound.

It was the sound of his long and steady breathing, gently sounding in my ears. Soon, it permeated through my thin clothes, melting into my skin. His hair was soft and a little ticklish as it brushed against my neck, making my heart pound in unrest.

Our surroundings were silent, with only the soft crackling of the fireplace and the intoxicating fragrance that wafted in the air.

It felt like it was going to be a long, long time before this nap was over.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

it was the perfect time for a lunchtime nap. I…

★ E6 NIGHT: Don't hold him up from his afternoon nap ★

It just so happens that it's the perfect time for a lunchtime nap now…

MC: Am I getting in the way of your rest? I'll wait for you out in the hall then. Have a good nap!

With that said, I moved to head out to the hall. However, I hadn't yet gotten a step further before Evan caught me by the wrist.

Evan: Wait.

The unique temperature of his body slowly spreads upon my skin. His touch brought about a slight coolness, momentarily freezing me in place.

MC: ...What's up?

I secretly peeked at the hand he used to hold onto mine. His fingers were pale and long, but there was an undeniable strength behind them. It unwittingly made people a little nervous.

Evan: I was just going to tell you that I don't intend to take an afternoon nap at all today. But what I do have, is an important document that needs my signature.

MC: Uh… I'll still wait for you out in the hall?

Evan: You can just stay here.

MC: Won't I disturb you?

Evan: You won't. I'm more worried that you'd find it boring here.

Evan: The other door in my room connects to my Study. You can go there and kill time if you feel bored.

Now that he mentions it… I do recall seeing a heavy wooden door on the other side of his bedroom…

MC: Ohh… I'll go check out your Study then!

Evan: Sure. I'll go look for you once I'm done.

MC: Okey-dokey!

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

A step into the study was all it took for me to be completely blown away by what awaited inside.

MC: Jesus Christ. These bookshelves span several walls… Who in the world has this many books in their study? It’s kind of amazing in its own right...

And it wasn’t just the bookshelves. There was also a large projector screen on the other end of the study that nearly covered the entire wall.

MC: I’d probably disrupt his work if I watch a movie here… Guess I’ll be better off looking for a book.

But rather than searching the shelves in search of a book, the thought of just what books he'd have in here intrigued me further.

MC: Wow, the bottom few shelves are filled with the biographies of famous people, mystery novels, travel guides… He even has picture books here!

MC: I never knew that he reads such a wide array of books. I wonder if the upper shelves will yield any new discoveries?

I took the stepladder that was placed not too far off and climbed up on it. I excitedly continued my perusal of what books his shelves offered. After a considerable amount of effort, I managed to pull out a thin and old book from amongst a couple of thick books on the history of music.

MC: “Jane Eyre”? Huh…? Was “Jane Eyre” supposed to be this thin, again? And it looks pretty well-thumbed too...

Curious, I opened it.

This was an incomplete copy of "Jane Eyre". There were thick scars on the spine of the book, formed from having its pages torn out. Someone had ripped out nearly ¾ of the book's contents.

Flipping it open, the very first page detailed the part where Jane Eyre wished to leave Thornfield Hall after learning that Rochester was about to get married. Conflicted with her turmoil of emotions, Jane walks to Mr. Rochester's orchard. She'd intended to sneak away as if she was never there, only to be halted by Rochester. And in the end, they finally managed to understand their true feelings for each other under the moonlight, in the eventide breeze that was tinged with the fragrance of jasmine interlaced with roses.

But why does this book start from here? What happened to all the content in front?

Evan: What book is it that has gotten you so engrossed?

MC: !

The low voice that suddenly sounded by my ear made my breathing hitch. Turning around, I hurriedly hid the book behind my back, just like how one would when the teacher found out that they were secretly reading a book in class.

Evan, dressed only in a white dress shirt, was looking at me with a smile that reached his eyes. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and the warmth in his eyes that were normally hidden behind the lenses now faced me in full force.

MC: ...You… You're done with work?

Evan smiled, reaching out to help me adjust the hemline of my skirt that had gotten slightly rumpled.

Evan: Yes. So, what were you reading?

MC: This.

I brought the book I'd hidden behind me back out front.

Evan: Jane Eyre.

His low and pleasantly smooth voice intonated, seemingly touching my very heart. It was like magic; one that miraculously made my heart race.

Evan looked back up at me after reading the title. He had a knowing look in his eyes that was soon disrupted by a flicker of mischief.

I didn't know why, but I didn't quite dare to look up at him right now.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Evan: “I believe you must leave now. I am sorry, but I believe indeed you must.”

MC: Huh? ...O-Oh, I’ll leave now…

Evan: “Exactly, precisely: with your usual acuteness, you have hit the nail straight on the head.”

This… sounds like the lines I’ve just read in “Jane Eyre”...?

Deep down, Jane truthfully didn't want to leave. However, Mr. Rochester had already arranged everything for her departure.

Her job, her destination, and even her future to come.

Evan: “Do you like Ireland? ...You’ll like Ireland, I think.”

He spoke with a low voice, looking at me with a sort of seriousness that I’d never seen before.

It felt as if that line wasn’t from Rochester, directed to Jane; but rather, from Evan to me.

Confounded, I slowly opened my mouth to respond to him.

MC: “It is a long way off, sir. Not the voyage, but the distance: and then the sea is a barrier—”

Evan: "From what, hm?”

MC: “From England and from Thornfield: and一 From you, Sir.”

The words had just left my lips when Evan reached a hand out, bringing it up to my waist. Just a little bit of strength behind his fingertips was all it took for him to hoist me upwards, pressing my upper body closer to him.

Suddenly, the distance between us disappeared. We were so close that our breaths intermingled.

Evan: “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you— especially when you are near me, as now.”

Evan: “Are you anything akin to me, do you think?”

He gazed at me, his breath brushing across my skin in a manner as intoxicating as wine, effectively sending my rationality out of the window.

I gaped in an attempt to say something. However, my words were eviscerated into nothing by the deep red hue in his eyes.

We stared at each other as we stood within the tall and large study filled with the scent of ink. It felt like we were nothing but the small minuscule dust particles that filtered in with the sun’s rays.

So small, so minuscule that it was almost non-existent; yet still able to hang onto the other, while adrift, fluttering all the same.

Evan: “I offer you my hand, my heart, my everything.”

Evan: “Are you willing to believe me?”

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

My heart thudded heavily in my chest. It felt as if time had come to a stand-still.

I lost myself in the moment, forgetting who I was or where I was. The only thing I wanted to do now was to entrust my heart to him in all its genuineness, and to stay in this beautiful and pleasant moment forever.

According to the story, this was when Jane and Rochester finally gained a mutual understanding of their emotions for each other, sharing a long passionate kiss.

Evan's eyes lowered, coming to a slight close. His fine lashes fluttered downwards as the pale yellow light illuminated his face, casting small beautiful shadows upon his features. He slightly turned his head, the breath that had been one with mine shifting. It brushed against my face, hot and ticklish.

My body seemingly loses the ability to move, and all I could do was stare dumbfoundedly at the face with well-defined features slowly advancing closer.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

At the very last second, I hurriedly covered my face with the book that I'd let rest against my chest in a desperate act.

And in turn, blocking off what could have happened; something that was capable of making my heart stop beating right then and there.

The air was filled with a moment of silence that was soon broken by Evan's laughter.

MC: You…

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

I slowly and carefully lowered the book that'd been covering my face. I watched as Evan lowered his head, leaning it against the crook of my neck as he laughed, shoulders quaking in his mirth.

MC: Stop… stop laughing at me…

Evan: Okay, no laughing.

Evan: ...I'm really happy, (Y/n).

Evan's laughter slowly died off, but his head remained firmly planted onto my shoulder. I quietly relished in the moment of intimate contact with burning cheeks.

MC: Erm… Why’s this book missing so many pages?

Evan: This belonged to my mother. It was already in this state when I first saw it.

Oh, so that’s how it is. Then… perhaps it’s because his mother liked how brave Jane was in this part of the story?

MC: She dared defy; she dared to love.

Evan: Yes. Although, I think my mother will definitely like you much more if she had the chance to meet you.

MC: But… I’m nowhere near as brave as Jane.

He gave a small chuckle before letting go of my shoulder, watching me with a profound look in his eyes. It was as if the Evan that had been reciting Mr. Rochester’s lines had made a comeback.

In the same manner, as Rochester would gaze affectionately at Jane… No. No, that wasn’t it… Those eyes, that gaze… It was Evan who was looking at me so.

Reflected within his orbs were twin silhouettes of me.

He patted my head, his low and intoxicating voice taking on a slightly far-away tone, yet still managing to grace my ears.

Evan: My liking you has absolutely nothing to do with “Jane Eyre”.

Evan: You are (Y/n), and I am Evan. Nothing more, nothing less.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Time flew past.

The glow of the sunset had begun to set in when Aunt Wang finally sent up my dry-cleaned clothes.

Seeing her so busy, I couldn't help feeling a tinge of regret at being the cause of it.

MC: I've brought so much trouble for them both… I should do something to thank them well next time!

Evan looked at me and closed the book in his hand.

Evan: They're usually the only ones here, so it'll do them a little good to be busy once in a while.

Evan: Having something to do would also make it feel all the more fulfilling.

MC: Mmhm… But I can't help but feel like they're already busy even without us, and now that we're here…

MC: Plus Uncle Chen looked like he was in a huge hurry when I took upon the task of sending the drink for him. It was like he was here for a moment, and gone like the wind in the next.

A flicker of doubt appears on Evan's face upon hearing this.

Evan: Is he truly that busy?

MC: Yeah, he is… He had to rush here to deliver your drink, and he also had to rush over to give the fireplace a change of coal.

MC: Plus, this is also one huge place. Even with the two of them here, they must be pretty busy keeping this place all neat and tidy.

Evan: They do have their work cut out for them, but…

Evan: I seem to recall that we do have scheduled professionals who come by to take care of the fireplace here, so there's no need for either of them to do it themselves.

MC: ...Huh? But he said…

A strange thought suddenly struck me, the realization making the words die in my throat.

Did Uncle Chen make me… bring Evan's drink to him on purpose?

I stared at Evan, absolutely dumbfounded.

He didn't say anything either, only chuckling lightly after a few seconds.

Evan: I suppose, sometimes, having a fireplace at home isn't all that bad.

He'd said it all so naturally, yet I couldn't help but feel like there was something a little off about it. Especially when it came to the word "fireplace". It unwittingly made me recall how oddly Uncle Chen and Aunt were acting… and their ambiguous smiles.

I silently adverted my gaze, biting on my lips as I spoke in barely a whisper.

MC: I'm definitely not getting a fireplace installed in my house next time…

Evan: Hm?

MC: Oh, nothing… nothing! I was just talking to myself!

Evan: That so?

Evan drew both of his arms up to his jaw, propping his chin on it as his heavy gaze fell upon my being.

Under the light of the setting sun, his expression was one of calm contentment and warmth.

He smiled, his voice a low baritone.

Evan: Your wish is my command. No fireplaces in the future.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

✥ Choose another Ending:

END 1 | Choice: Do Nothing [都不做]

END 2 + 3 | Choice: Approach [亲近] ⊹Touch⊹

END 4 | Choice: Listen [倾听] ❖ASMR

END 5 + 6 | Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ✩Light & Night★

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Revolution⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: Prologue

#光与夜之恋 #Light and Night #Otome #Translations #Tencent #陆沉 #Evan #For Night For Revolution #暮光之境 #Twilight Facet

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